#But yeah I just never got to grow up in fandoms and certainly didn't have access to the internet lol

[themostuselesspotato]

I was a very sheltered kid and didn't get to consume fandom content until a few years ago, and most of the fandoms I'm in have been over for years before I watched the content. It's really weird to experience a show in real time?? Like usually I binge something and then go and obsess over fandom content for the next month (or several), but now I have to wait for said fandom content to be made?? I wanna read fanfic about the tbb finale but I also need to give creators time to write it lol 😅

I'm just so not used to being in fandoms that are still updating/just ended that it feels weird to me ig

[sunwarmed-ash]

🔥Sinful Sunday🔥

🎂Happy Birthday Gavin🎂

Rating:🔞 Explicit-sexual content🔥 Fandom:💙Detroit Become Human💙 Ships: Hankconvin900, Nines x Gavin x Hank x Connor Tags: Birthday sex, blow jobs, multiple orgasms, bukkake, Bottom Gavin, M/M/M/M, DBH polycule, PWP- plot what plot/porn without plot, Daddy kink, sir kink, degradation/humiliation kink, unsafe sex A/N: this took me all day, please give it some love🤝💙

Of all the places to be, on his least favorite day of the year, he has to be at phcking work, sitting through yet another PR meeting about ‘Accepting Androids in the workplace.’

The revolution last November changed the world, and now, 10 or so months later, things are just starting to balance back out. And that he thinks has more to do with two Androids in particular, who were able to reach Gavin in a way even Hank, his longtime friend and partner couldn't. 

He sure didn't make it easy. Gavin never makes anything easy. But they persisted. And now he’s moved back into Anderson's house, he’s work partners with Nines, and he, Nines, Connor, and Hank are in the weirdest, most unpredicted polycule he's ever been a part of. 

It's been great, at least the last couple of months have been. Like he said, he didn't make the transition easy. But once they found the key to getting Gavin to open up, everything just kinda spilled out. Then it was easier. Because the shit Gavin was actually mad about finally came out, and he learned Connor and Nines weren’t really that bad of dudes. Annoying, yeah, but hey, so was he.

They also helped introduce Gavin to some of the best sex he’s ever had. Turns out, having two high-stamina Androids as fuck buddies had its advantages. The pair opened him and Hank up to a world of new kink opportunities that had the additional side effect of bringing them all closer together as a result. Which he guesses is good too. He’s certainly happier than he’s been- 

Nines bumps his shoulder, and Gavin only notices now he’s drooling. He wipes his mouth quickly with the back of his hand before clearing his throat. No one in the large lecture hall outside of Nines caught the action, which Gavin was grateful for. His phone lit up with a silent message from the Android just a moment later. 

{Bored Gavin? Or daydreaming again?} 1:43 PM

Gavin chuckles quietly before slipping his phone under the table. They were all adult officers, looking at their phones wasn’t disallowed, but Gavin was trying to be polite with how much he was actively not paying attention. 

[I can think of at least 15 things I’d rather be doing with my time than this…] 1:44 PM

{This is a required seminar for all officers} 1:44 PM

[Yeah, I know, but it’s not like I’m gonna give Androids any trouble anymore.] 1:44 PM 

[Even if I tried, you’d kill me before I got half a sentence out.] 1:44 PM

Gavin sent the message and waited for Nines to read it. A growing warmth bloomed in his gut when the side of Nines' mouth turned up in amusement. 

{You're correct, I would.} 1:45 PM

Gavin assumes it would be left at that, and starts to try and pay attention. Until another message popped up. 

{Only a little bit longer now. We will be leaving for the day after this.} 1:47 PM

That surprised Gavin.

[As much as I’m pro ditching work, don’t think Fowler’s gonna go for it.] 1:47 PM

Nines' face remained stoic and emotionless, giving nothing away.  

{The request for PTO has been entered and accepted for months.} 1:48 PM

Gavin’s mouth dropped open. Because he sure as hell didn't put in the request. He prefers to work on his birthday. Helps him avoid thinking about it. About Cole. About everything. 

Nines sent another message. 

{Just because you refuse to acknowledge the day doesn’t mean it ceases to exist Gavin.} 1:48 PM

Gavin flushed red and flipped his phone over on the desk. He was done talking about this. He had purposely avoided telling Nines and Connor when it was for this reason. Though in hindsight, it was kind of stupid to think two supercomputers didn't have access to something as mundane as his birthday, but still. Hank knew how he felt about it. He’s made it crystal clear. 

He didn't say anything to Nines for the rest of the meeting. 

It was a quiet and un-phcking-comfortable 36 minutes. 

⭕

“GAVIN, WAIT!” Nines is shouting after him, but he doesn't want to talk about it. 

“I PHCKING HATE SUPRISE PARTIES,” he shouts back instead. He’s so edgy by the time he reaches his car he drops his keys twice, and Nines catches up to him… 

“Gavin, I know how you feel about your birthday-” Nines starts, but Gavin doesn't let him finish. 

Gavin acts before he considers all ramifications and grabs Nines by his jacket. He sees red. He shoves Nines until his back hits the four-door. 

“No! You don’t know shit,” he insists furiously. 

When Nines' face exposes genuine shock and his LED flashes red does Gavin remember that he's a mushy, mortal, sack of bones who just physically, stupidly, assaulted a top-of-the-line Police Bot. Who ya know, also happened to be his partner and nonconventional boyfriend. He should definitely let go. Why can’t he let go?

“Let go of me Gavin,” Nines insists calmly, LED back to a steady and less homicidal, cyan. 

Gavin does. Immediately grateful Nines chose mercy and both his wrists were still intact. He straightens his own clothes before unlocking his car. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m not asking you to. Just, to keep an open mind. We have spent a fair bit of time setting this up for you.”

“Who’s we?”

Nines opens the passenger side and slides into the seat without answering. 

Gavin’s teeth clench but he yanks himself into the driver's seat. When he pulls on his seatbelt, Nines finally answers. 

“Connor, Hank, and I.”

That admission has a fair bit of Gavin’s anxiety melting off his shoulders and leveling out his temper. 

“Just you guys,” he clarifies as he turns the engine over. 

“Yes. Unless you want to extend the invite to others.”

Gavin shook his head. 

“Not really.” 

Gavin didn't trust anyone else like he trusted them. 

⭕

When they pull up to Hank’s house Sumo rushes out to greet them. 

“Hey buddy.” 

The comfort of Hank’s dog helps ease more of the discomfort Gavin is feeling as he walks up to unknowns in the house. Nines doesn't rush him inside, so he takes an extra minute, waiting until he can breathe without wheezing before heading inside. 

⭕

The rest of his anxious reservations melt upon opening the door. 

“O-Oh.”

“Yes,” Nines confirms. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner. I was bound to secrecy. Connor threatened fratricide.”

“I did,” Connor smiles, sitting completely naked on the living room couch, with Hank between his legs. “Welcome home, Gavin.” 

“Phck me,” Gavin pants, because it's suddenly way too hot in here and he swears his jeans just shrank.

“That was the plan,” Nines confirms amusedly, and his hand finds Gavin’s low back. “Shall we join them?”

Gavin’s having trouble making his mouth form words so he nods. The drool is back in full force,  because there really is no prettier sight than a naked Hank Anderson, on his knees sucking cock. 

⭕

While Connor continues to use Hank’s throat, Nines is opening Gavin up on his fingers over the loveseat. It gets easier and quicker every time they do this, but it's becoming increasingly obvious to Gavin that Nines is taking his time on purpose tonight. 

“Please Sir,” Gavin asks, pushing his ass back against the long slender digits. He needs so much more than just two fingers inside him.  

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing that,” Nines hums and it makes Gavin weak. 

“I’ll say whatever the phck you want as long as you don’t stop touching me.”

Nines rewards him with another slick finger, pumping gently in and out with the others. Gavin relaxes even further in the Android’s grasp.

“Why aren't you obedient like this more often? You’d get what you want faster.”

“It’s no fun being good all the time,” Gavin laughs, a little breathless from the sudden increase in speed. “Ask Connor.”

Connor looks up from Hank, who currently has all of Connor’s cock in his throat. The brunette grins and slips his hand into the older man’s silver hair, holding Hank’s face in place.  

“He’s right,” Connor shrugs. To emphasize his point, he pushes Hank down further, waiting until the last possible moment before pulling Hank back by his hair so he could breathe. 

The sputtering sound Hank made upon removal was gorgeous; wet, gasping, and needy as he tries to keep any part of Connor’s cock in his mouth while he takes some much-needed breaths. 

Gavin’s cock spits more fluid. It’s so phcking hot. They are so phcking hot. He could watch that shit on a loop forever. 

“I think that's enough Connor,” Nines says a moment later, and both Connor and Hank are up and moving without a fuss, walking towards the bedroom.

Gavin is confused why they aren't following. Nines pushes in another finger and twists them until Gavin squeaks, holding him right where he wants him as Gavin catches his breath. When he has, Nines takes his chin and kisses him, forcing the air right back out. 

Nines chuckles and the heat sends goosebumps rippling down Gavin’s right side. 

“Ready for the next part of your present?” 

Gavin groans. “Oh hell yes.” 

⭕

Four fingers are not enough of a stretch to fully ready himself for Hank’s monster cock, but with a lot of lube and stimulation pretty much everywhere else and Gavin’s too pleasantly distracted to notice any pain upon entry. 

Connor has his mouth and is kissing him filthily and with teeth while Nines has his hand around his cock, pumping Gavin closer and closer to the edge. That plastic bastard Nines knows how sensitive the skin around his piercings is, so his fingers stay there, playing with the slick mess of his tip and pushing his thumb across his piercings until Gavin cries. Hank’s own thrusts inside his body start slow, but every time one of the Androids pulls a ple2ased sound out of him, Hank’s next thrust is harder, deeper, or faster. Like they were competing to see who could get him to bust first. 

Nines’ fingers catch his piercings, tugging against the head and Gavin whines, desperate and needy. Connor’s tongue pushes deep into his throat, chasing the sound and Hank pulls Gavin’s hips flush against his own. The next two dozen snaps are pointed and so perfect they turn his legs to jelly. 

"Daddy-” he whimpers, resting his forehead against Connor’s while he attempts to catch his breath through the powerful thrusts. “Please."

Hank’s hand comes down on his ass cheek hard and the sound echoes perfectly off the walls. 

“Again,” Gavin groans. Hank delivers another slap as hard as the first one. Gavin’s cock spits more fluid into Nines’ hand. "Fuck, again." Gavin is sobbing. His prostate is under repeated abuse and every thrust of Hank’s cock is so much to take he feels delirious on pleasure. Connor swallows down his every moan, biting into his neck when he wants to hear him cry and Gavin loves the feeling of being strung out on them.  

"Getting close already baby," Hank chuckles knowingly and Gavin doesn’t have an ounce of energy left to feel shame. 

"Pleaaase," Gavin begs, because the ache in his core is driving him feral. He needs it. Nines has finally stopped touching his dick but it doesn't matter, he’s gonna cum no matter what. 

"Get up then, I don't think Nines or Connor can see how wet your cock is."

Gavin doesn't have time to think of a retort because he's being pulled up against Hank’s chest that next minute. The new position allows the final few inches to slip in and break Gavin's brain. 

"Ph-ck, oh god, yes, Daddy-” Gavin whimpers, quieter than a whisper. 

“There you go,” Hank praises before taking Gavin’s cock into his hand, “you boys see that?”  

"Sloppy mess, as per usual," Nines agrees and Gavin thrashes as that degradation sends a powerful wave of arousal down his spine.  

"He's absolutely gorgeous," Connor whispers. His eyes are still on Gavin, taking in every inch of his exposed and vulnerable form and making Gavin feel all kinds of ways. 

"Hear that Sweetheart?" Hank praises, and Gavin is too lust-drunk to do anything but feel and whine. 

"Can I- come on, please-"

"Yeah baby, go ahead, let us see you.”

Gavin whines as his long overdue orgasm punches out of him, rocketing his body down and then immediately away from the enormous cock inside him. It hurts to be full, but he doesn't want to be empty either. Where he stopped and where Hank’s holding him is perfect. 

Nines and Connor’s eyes haven’t left his cock which is pumping white all over his stomach and the carpet below. He wants to stay here forever. It aches in his balls just the way he likes. Relaxes his muscles and releases so much tension. Clears his mind, and makes him feel light, high, and floaty. 

Until Hank starts thrusting again and Gavin desperately needs a break. Just for a second. 

“Hank,” Gavin whines, because his prostate is so sensitive. 

“I got ya baby, don’t worry.” 

Hank pulls out slow, kissing down the back of Gavin’s neck because knows his body and his sounds better than anyone.

“Thank you,” he gasps, and he’s melting right back into that warm floaty place.  

“Course,” Hank chuckles warmly, “can’t break our fuck toy before the twins even get a full turn with ya.”

“Phck,” Gavin gasps, more cum dribbles out of the sensitive tip of his spent cock and he barely has the energy to moan. He wants it though. Even if it’ll wipe him out for the next two days, he wants it. 

Nines and Connor each return to his side. Connor hands him a glass of water and he’s so grateful he could cry. 

⭕

When they get back at it again, Hank elects to watch the next round from his armchair. Gavin is in the center of their Cali king mattress, naked on his knees with his arms behind his back. They’ve caged his cock, because Gavin doesn't want to cum again just yet. 

Nines and Connor are standing at the foot of the bed. They haven’t started touching him yet either, which is as agonizingly frustrating as it is intimidating. Probably because they just kept looking at him, obviously communicating telepathically because both of their LEDs were flashing. 

It’s been like this for a while, not even Hank is putting up a fuss about the lack of action. Gavin begins to wonder just how long they have been planning this. 

When something in Connor’s eyes changes and he flushes blue Gavin starts to squirm under the gaze. It moves the plug in his ass, lining it up a little better with his still-sensitive prostate. He moans before doing it again. 

Evidently, that's enough of a rule break to receive the wrath of Nines' glacial stare.

“Didn't say you could move slut. Flip over, onto your stomach. Now.”

Gavin tries to hold back his pleased grin as he does what Nines instructs. He didn't hate getting punished, it was so much better than not being touched at all. 

When Gavin is comfortable on his stomach, Nines grabs his hips and pulls him backward, until his legs fall over the edge of the mattress.  

“You’ll appreciate the angle better,” Nines explains and Gavin is sure he’s right. His fingers then move between Gavin’s ass cheeks, finding the plug and pulling it free. Some of Hank’s release came out with it and dripped down Gavin’s caged balls. Hank and Connor both gasped their appreciation.

“Phck,” Gavin pants and Nines chuckles before slipping two fingers inside him.  

“Feeling impatient?”

“What do you think?” Gavin sasses and Nines pulls his fingers out. Gavin is pushing back to try and follow them but Nines’ steel grip on his hip has him halted in place. Pleasure burns hot in his gut. “Please, Sir, please fuck me?”

“Yes. but I’m not gonna cum inside you.”

“What? Why not?” Gavin whined, surprising everyone but Nines. 

Nines spanks him hard, harder than Hank and it has Gavin bucking against the mattress just from sheer force. The sting that follows is blissful, and Gavin relaxes onto his chest. “‘Sorry Sir,” he hums and Nines smiles. Though he can't see it from this angle.

“Because I’m going to paint you with it instead.”

That has Gavin groaning along with the full-body shudder the suggestion caused. Evidently Hank had let the twins in on that particular kink of his. He’d be mad, if it didn't make him so phcking hot to imagine it. 

“Is that alright?” Nines asks and Gavin realizes he didn't speak.

“Phck yeah,” Gavin pants.

“Sir please…” Gavin begs again for who knows how many times now. Nines and Connor have been edging him for close to an hour now. His cock is still trapped in the cage and the floor below is puddling with Gavin’s precum. 

Nines and Connor’s matched assaults with their cocks paired with Hank’s filthy praises have brought him to the absolute edge but never over and it's killing him. Gavin’s been reduced to a shaking, whimpering, pathetic pile, just begging to be destroyed and they still won’t do it. 

“What was that Gavin? Did you say something?” Nines asks cheekily, pulling Gavin’s hips down, the tip of the android's cock pressed against Gavin’s prostate which throbs it's so sore now.  

“Sir, Connor, please.”

“What do you need Gavin?” Connor asks, voice so much gentler than his younger, meaner brothers. 

“Cum on me, and then let me cum for you. Please, I can’t take any more.”

“Hmm, I suppose you have suffered enough,” Nines chuckles. 

Connor’s hand leads Gavin’s mouth back onto his cock while Nines' hands are busy between Gavin’s legs. He hears the blissful sounds of the lock tumblers and then the cage is falling free. 

“Thank you, phck, thank you,” Gavin pulls off to gasp, because his dick is quickly filling, and Nines has him flipped over, back onto the center of the mattress. 

“Hank, did you still want to record this?” Connor asks Hank and Gavin feels another pull of arousal in his gut. 

“Better hurry,” Gavin warns and is rewarded with the first taste of Nines' orgasm on his tongue. It tasted like nothing, well not nothing, he tasted like flavorless, water-based lube. With every pump of Nines’ hand, Gavin is coated with a warm slick release. Every drop that landed on his cock has him bucking up, eager to cum. Too eager actually. “Phck,” Gavin pants, gripping the base of his cock to keep the orgasm back. Connor still had his turn to take after all. 

The brunette in question gained his attention now. He straddled Gavin and the detective was excited for the up close and personal view. 

“Pump it,” Connor orders and Gavin drops his own cock in favor of mono-focusing on Connors. He loves watching Connor cum. Loves how expressive his dumb, pretty face is when he’s toppling over the edge into oblivion. 

Connor’s eyebrows bunch together, signaling he is about to shoot and the words are falling out of Gavin’s mouth before he can stop them. 

“Mark your claim Con.”

Connor’s head falls back and his cock is still in Gavin’s hand. Cum is spurting across Gavin’s chest, under his chin, and pooling around the base of his cock, making everything so much wetter. Gavin is surprised he hasn’t cum yet. 

When Connor finally recovers from his orgasm, he’s moving. Not far, just enough to line up his hole with Gavin’s cock and sit on it.  

“Phck!” Gavin curses.

“Say my name, I love when you beg it,” Connor groans, tightening around his cock and rocking against him. 

Gavin chokes on his gasp, he thrusts into Connor hard. These androids drove him fuckin’ crazy.

“Connor,” he says, cock near bursting. 

“Yes Detective?” Connor chuckles, hot, wet, and secret in his ear and that's it. Gavin can’t hold back anymore. 

“Connor, phck, phck-” he’s cumming. Hard because he’s been edged for so damn long. Because each of them has thoroughly scratched each of his kinks. His hips thrust up against Connor’s ass as he rode out the waves of his orgasm. Connor pulled him forward until he could kiss him. Gavin kisses him back.

⭕

“So, how did you like your birthday gift?” Connor asked. 

Gavin turned to where the Android was currently curled up against him post-sex and smirked. Nines was on his opposite side. Hank was snoring behind Connor, his arm draped across the android's hip and hand interlocked with Gavin’s. Gavin didn't blame Hank for passing out, nor was he mad. He was seconds away from falling asleep himself. Gavin nods to answer Connor’s question.  

“Easily, best birthday I’ve ever had.”

Nines hums pleasantly whereas Connor smiles like Gavin hung the fucking moon. 

“Really?”

Gavin nods. 

“Yeah Tin Man, really.”

[marnz]

I watched tsn last year because my memory suddenly remember that i used to see photos and gifs of it in 2016 and i read someone blog analyzing the relationship of mark and eduardo (in 2016) but didn't know it was a fb film, so i decided to watch it, to be honest my brain is pretty damage from working corporate job and seeing how nasty capitalism is, so my first thought watching it wasn't really wow gay, eduardo was in love!!! but was more like wow mark is such a jerk, i didn't see anything gay that people were screaming about 🙃 and being reminded that this is zuckerberg and his old friend irl did not help, and i also read the story of what actually happened irl and understand how eduardo was also a jerk too so i just jumped into ao3 to read fanfic, i actually wish i watched it during highschool or college time more because i truly can't consume queerbait series or films that aren't obvious anymore, normal queer film/tv series is fine tho. This is just my own experience i'm sure there are many tsn new fans who watched it and also enjoy how "gay" it is like you guys in 2010 too :) i just have damaged brain i think

oh no friend I’m so sorry about your job! Let’s get you a better one. I don’t think your reaction is wrong at all, like I said, it was a different time and you had to be there. I got into it in college and exited the fandom in the mid 2010s; I would never in my life get into it now. I think you are right…it’s 2024.

However I have been thinking about this since I got your message and I also think the constant analysis and the fanfic contributed pretty heavily to the atmosphere, plus like I said the Andrew Garfield of it all. Honestly I think the fandom boils down to a couple things:

1) the film has homoerotic subtext mostly evidenced by Eduardo. There’s a lot of time spent on Eduardo’s feelings about Mark, like even during the bathroom blowjob scene the camera takes a moment to remind us that Eduardo is thinking about Mark in the next stall. There is almost no time spent on Mark’s feelings about Eduardo. So this subtext is like, there are feelings and they are unreciprocated. Isn’t this so tragic when 0.03% happens? Mark certainly talks a lot about his feelings for Eduardo, but words do not matter. Action matters. Contrast this with a more classic queerbait like Sterek where 1) there was queerbaiting market and 2) there was reciprocal homoerotic subtext that could never be acted upon.

2) I don’t think fandom is super good at dealing with an unlikeable or unsympathetic yet compelling protagonist! Which means this protagonist is rendered much more sympathetically in fic and people watch or read the media source with rose colored glasses. “He would not fucking say that” x1000.

3) I’m not that much older than you I think but…there was this period in tv where there were canon gays who were as interesting and dynamic as a pool noodle and, meanwhile, in subtext and/or queerbait land, there were relationships that consistently got a lot of time and attention and so were sooooooo compelling. And those are the relationships that I, and fandom, tend to gravitate towards. Plus growing up there weren’t a ton of happy gay stories so instead it was like, you have Brokeback Mountain, you have Dead Poets Society, you have What Happened to Lani Granger? You have, for some reason, Glee (boring except for faberry and Santana). Thank god we are not there anymore.

4) I have bad taste <3

Anyway sorry for rambling here, your asks got me thinking because it very much was like hmm well yeah it IS completely inexplicable huh but I think a lot of fandom is like that.

[kazuyummy]

going anon on this bcs am too shy to get off anon LOLL 😭 hope the request match ups are still open!

fandom: daiya no ace

matchup: awkward, responsible, warm, aloof

drabble / detail: 🍎 apple - hm, probably Different Lives by Fly by Midnight with a male daiya char, please. And genre's up to you! (okay, anything else but nsfw .. yeah ... ;;)

thank you if ever you do get to this! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

ehehe no worries, i'm happy you requested! the song you chose is like a movie soundtrack, gave me such good vibes 💫

i would match you up with KAMIYA CARLOS TOSHIKI. he gives me a carefree, teasing vibe that i think would complement your initial aloofness / potentially awkward first impression (that he would definitely think is cute more than anything), but also the warmth that follows after. you're both a bit enigmatic in that sense - an unexpected but surprisingly cohesive couple. i think where the two of you would have a bit more tension is where he's more laidback with responsibilities and you're, well - responsible! still, he'll teach you that sometimes it's okay to let things go, and you'll hold him accountable and help him grow as a person. he'd certainly admire you for all your intricacies.

bit of drabble below the cut! 💖

❀ NEVER KNEW (I'D BE THE ONE TO FIND YOU)

the first time you met kamiya carlos toshiki was outside the doors of inashiro industrial when he nearly ran you over - a speedy, sweaty bullet of a man, shirtless and shining under an unrelenting sun

he had winked at you with a, "sorry, sweetheart", and continued dashing off to wherever the hell he'd been going - cue eyeroll

after that, high school with him had been filled with some cheesy pick up lines on his end, inviting you to watch his baseball games, and interrupting your lunch in the caf with friends to yell a hello at you

it's not that you ever particularly disliked him - you just didn't know how to respond to such forwardness and decided to keep your distance from that cocky smirk. he was certainly a kind person, if not a bit perplexing at times

he'd had a reputation of being a bit of a playboy - with that smoulder, admittedly nice body, and outgoing personality, it wasn't a secret that he was well-liked among the school population

so when you end up recognizing him years later - behind the hoodie and sunglasses he sports as he stands in line for his coffee in front of you, you can't help but whisper-yell, "carlos?"

he tenses up, and you realize your mistake - after becoming a pro player in japan, he's definitely trying to stay on the down low

but when he turns around with a nervous grin, it slowly melts into a bright one and he calls out your name as if it's refreshing and familiar all in the same - like a spring breeze after a cold winter

you actually expected him to be the type to revel in all the attention, and you're sure he has his share of fangirls - but when he asks you a specific question on a project you've been working on only known to people on your socials, your interest is piqued - had he really been keeping up with you this whole time?

he has an air of maturity to him now, you note, as you fetch your drinks and begin walking outside. you expected some sort of line from him like, "it was always you", but the conversation flows naturally and effortlessly

"hey, listen. i have an interview to get to, but... can we do this again next time? like, longer? i know a good sushi place."

"like, a date?" you blurt out, and you see the always-confident carlos smile bashfully with a small nod.

something in your heart skips, telling you to take a leap. and you love the excited light in his eyes before he dashes away again when you smile,

"... i'd like that, carlos."

i feel like "meeting up with an old friend into possibly something more" was the vibe i got from the song, so i just went with it ehehe. also carlos is super underrated and tbh i'm jealous i gave him to you here LOL. hope you enjoyed!

read completed matchups here 💫

[lovecolibri]

Maybe it's because i still try to have some kind of hope in this show, but the fact that they cut the eddie/lucy scene where as ak said she told him she didn't want to replace him, but maybe the 118 is just growing and that our dear kristen saying they don't know if they can keep ak make me think that maybe she won't coming back, ofc they can't say omg everyone hates her because we mad a big mistake

Yeah, when the episode ended and they had cut her scene with Eddie (add it to the list of specific moments she mentioned that never made it to screen), I started to have a tiny bit of hope. I'm not holding my breath because they may be banking on the fact that since they cut most of her stuff the GA may forget about the kiss for the most part by season 6, and that the "joking" scene in the truck would shut down the idea of BL (for now) so people online would go back to defending her as "bi-besties" with Buck. Just like the did with Tay Kay. And oh look! It's happening, exactly as predicted. So they absolutely could be working on a soft revamp for the character. 🤷🏻‍♀️

However, they do have solid evidence most especially and most recently with Tay Kay that this approach doesn't work. The GA was ambivalent mostly about her coming back in season 4 and a lot of fandom took her obviously terribly treatment of Buck to mean they wouldn't get together. (Which is why I am so baffled that people think the show "made it clear" that BL were incompatible so we shouldn't worry. Like, have you seen Tay Kay? She called him "needy" right after we learned his painful backstory and even though it never made sense for him to want her after 2x06 it certainly didn't stop them from dragging BT out for a whole fucking season. ANYWAY) But come 5a when everyone saw Buck being miserable with her and how she ignored him and his light was just so dim, people starting singing a different tune. And then she was there all the time taking up screentime and then we got Ghost Stories and the GA officially got fed up with her. I think we were ALL looking forward to a fun, lighthearted episode (which we STILL never got the whole season) and to see all that stuff get cut so we could watch the most pointless procedural show about NOT first responding? To watch her half of the investigation which ended up having NO bearing on what Lou did, or how the case turned out? It was incredibly disappointing and the GA was done. The show continuing to drag it out for the whole rest of the season didn’t help either and I doubt they’d be able to bring her back though KR making sure to show them ending amicably after Buck was was so upset sure was...a choice 🙄

But in L’s case, she started out badly and never recovered for the GA after all the push for her in the interviews instead of talking about the actual main characters, and then the kiss. And we got a break for Boston, but 5x13 was so awkward and cringey and we saw her doing things we’d normally see Buck do on a call and after 5a being so light on things actually happening for the mains, people were tired of them not getting the focus. Then we had 5x14 and the whole high-rise save debacle which even the GA noticed was a WEIRD storyline to have for someone with so many more years of experience than Buck, instead of going to Ravi who has been a delightful and loved addition to the recurring character line-up. We just got to see him and Buck working together in 5x13 and making the save through good planning, so him making the save out of luck and then worrying that he might mess up and someone could die would be a natural thing for a probie to go through and Buck helping him through it would be a very full circle moment from 1x02. We also got her insulting Chim, insulting marriage to a group of mostly married people and someone who desperately wants to be (in another call that would have flowed better with someone like Chim or Ravi around), and all her otherwise superfluous moments. 

So while the cynical part of me who is trying to quash any hope so I’m not disappointed and angry when she’s not fucking gone even though she never should have existed says to brace for impact, there IS a part of me that says the numbers are loud and they have precedence for knowing how this turns out and they can’t afford to do it again. Losing 1.5 million viewers and .6 key demo over the 2 seasons KR has been mostly at the helm is still a lot even if they’re not in the danger zone (though airing up against sitcoms helps). Plus two of the most hated characters ever on the show being her creations, and having to entirely cut a whole storyline because a 2 minute scene got SUCH backlash, and everyone dragging the finale as being incredibly lackluster and overly full of emergencies instead of showing us the main character’s storylines wrapping up, especially May’s after all the focus on her not being sure what to do in May Day, and Eddie’s after his arc is one of the only things that got consistently positive reactions from fans for all of 5b, and season 5 generally being criticized for poor planning/pacing issues/mains doing nothing, it’s a LOT of bad all at once and a lot laid at the feet of the showrunner. Which Tim picked and Tim signs off on decisions from, so he’d be in the hot seat too. 

I’m just going to spend this hiatus manifesting some good changes and season 2/3 vibes coming back around for season 6, and all our mains getting the focus and screentime and storylines they deserve. We saw some incredible work from Ryan, Kenny, and Aisha especially this season and I hope the overwhelmingly positive and “it’s about time” reactions will result in more for them in the coming season, and for the love of all that is holy can we please get Oliver something to do outside of having to simper after KR’s self-insert women? The man is literally begging.

[angsty-nerd]

Meta: Echo’s Big Fight in 3x09

Let's talk about the Big Echo fight. Because wandering around in the fandom this past week, I’ve seen a lot of very specific conclusions as far as what they were or weren't arguing about, and I’m not sure my take on that scene really aligns with other folks. So let me try to break it down a bit and give y’all an alternative perspective on it.

To start with, the scene opens with Max on edge because they're breaking and entering. Liz is singularly focused on the mission, and he's kinda freaking out. Instead of responding to his concerns, Liz gets straight to business.

"Ooh, ooh, this is interesting. Heath left Genoryx two days after I did. Must have realized he didn't need to be working underneath their corporate thumb."

Liz is kinda projecting here. Heath never once displayed any discomfort with Genoryx as a company the way that she did. He wanted her to stay. He wanted the resources there. We know these things as an audience, and Liz would too if she was thinking through the big picture at this point in time.

Max, on the other hand, doesn't know any of that. Here's what Max hears from Liz: he hears surprise. He hears Liz acknowledge that this is unexpected news. And right as he’s processing this unexpected reveal...Max sees Heath's Wild Pony t-shirt.

Weird coincidence #1 from Max's POV was Heath (the guy who is currently so pissed at Liz that he won't take her calls) supposedly rescuing Liz's science out of the good of his heart so that Genoryx doesn’t get their hands on it? This doesn't add up.

Weird coincidence #2 was Heath quitting Genoryx - a decision Heath made that Liz wasn't expecting.

The Wild Pony t-shirt is now the 3rd thing that doesn't add up. And if the t-shirt clue isn't adding up for you, see my post about it here:

The T-shirt is strike 3 for Max. He can't really pretend that he's not suspicious of Heath anymore. So he broaches the subject with her.

"How much do you know about this guy, Heath? How close were you?"

Max is feeling uncomfortable and looking for more information. He's trying to make the clue make sense. Why would Heath have the T-shirt? Does he have a connection to Roswell that Liz doesn't know about? And Liz doesn’t listen.

"This isn't the time to be jealous about a boy I met."

For all that Liz is clinical and on mission, she jumps very quickly to assuming that Max is NOT on mission. Yes, Max is inherently more emotional than she is. But throughout the episode he's been asking questions about Heath and NOT JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS. That's one of the keys to me here. Max really is trying to give her the benefit of the doubt about him.

At Liz's house, he asked about "the boyfriend" but he wasn't doing it in a jealous or judgy way. If anything it could almost be interpreted as concern. He started with "were you happy" and only when Liz kind of metaphorically admitted that any happiness was a façade...that's when he brought Heath into it. And yeah, Liz says that he impacted her life and helped her grow, but she didn't exactly express romantic feelings that would make Max jealous. So when she basically jumped straight to the jealousy assumption instead of actually discussing this with him, he starts getting worked up. Because she is not hearing him. She is not acknowledging that the facts they have found during this investigation are not adding up. So he is honest and blunt about what he's thinking.

"I'm just saying it's possible that he took your one-of-a-kind alien spores and quit, so that, just like you, he could use the research himself, free of Genoryx."

Max is the one who brings the science into this conversation. Not Liz. And he's not criticizing or questioning HER application of the science. He's questioning the trustworthiness of Heath. Because the lies are starting to jump out at him like a friggin’ neon light.

BUT — now that he's specifically brought up the science, he has her attention. Because Max questioning her science is HER sore spot. So what does she say back to him? Something kinda judgy.

"That grand trust speech certainly had a short shelf life."

Side note: I really don't think there actually was a "grand trust speech" in this episode. I can think of a few scenes where there might have been an opportunity for one. In particular during the milkshake scene when he admits to saving her tapes. But they actually don't talk about trust in that scene. They talk about having hard conversations. They talk about moving forward instead of looking backwards. But they don't talk about trust. My guess is that there might have been content cut for time at some point in this episode, that may have included some grand declaration from Max, but that's really just speculation on my part.

Regardless…Liz's response to Max bringing up the science is to basically accuse him of not trusting her. Which is not what he was saying. He was not questioning her use of the science. He was questioning her trust in Heath through the context of her science. So he elaborates on what he IS saying, and as he does, he's getting more and more worked up...because this does relate directly to his personal fears, and, frankly, his buried trauma that he's never properly addressed.

"I trust you. Okay? But I don't trust some guy I have barely met with a secret that could endanger me, could endanger my family and break the frickin' Internet if it came out."

Max doesn't know Heath, and he doesn't trust Heath with a secret that could endanger Michael and Isobel. His emotions are escalating, because now he's thinking about the science that scares him in the hands of a guy that all signs points to being potentially untrustworthy, and he's triggered.

BUT he doesn't back up his argument. He doesn't point out the very specific evidence he's identified that Heath is probably lying to Liz.

And Liz is inherently reactive and sometimes overly defensive (see 1x09 list of Liz's flaws). So even though he's focused on Heath, she immediately reacts defensively and takes it as a criticism of HER.

"You think I would let myself be conned?"

"No, I think you came out here looking for a partner, and it could blind you."

*deep breath* and this is where it starts to get personal. And rough. Max isn't entirely wrong here. But he also kind of is. Liz didn't choose Genoryx for partnership. She was looking for resources, freedom to do the science she wanted to do, and to save her father from deportation.

But partnership? Yeah, Liz wanted that. But she wanted that from MAX. She was looking for partnership in life, not in science.

And now that Max has thrown that direct criticism out there, Liz is going to throw a bomb right back at him.

"Just because you sabotaged me when I thought you were mine does not mean that Heath would take the same path."

Ouch. This is the hardest line in this whole scene for me to work with. Because it is combative. And purposefully hurtful.

BUT…she is NOT TALKING ABOUT HER SCIENCE. She has not said a single word about her science in this argument. She moved past that. She had the epiphany that she was wrong and she apologized (3x03). That is in the past for her.

This argument, for Liz, is about betrayal. This is about her believing that they were going to be partners and move their lives forward together (2x12), and right when she believed in that future, Max made another massive decision that directly impacted her life (just like he did in 1x13) instead of working with her to make big decisions together.

"And just because you changed the wallpaper doesn't mean you've mended your blind spots."

I really hate this "change the wallpaper" line. It feels like they're mixing metaphors. Liz called her life a commercial. Max is saying that she's changed her decor. Like...pick one and stick with it.

That aside… I think this barb is about her arrogance. Earlier in the scene, she seemed baffled at the idea that Max believes she could have been conned by Heath, because Liz is used to always being the smartest person in the room. She thought she was smarter than Diego and he figured her out. She believed her lab was secure, but Diego (possibly) got in. Sometimes, like most scientists, Liz is so bogged down in the complicated, brilliant details she’s thinking through, that she misses simple things that contribute to the big picture. And I think that's what Max is getting at here. In her arrogance, she believes that she can control the Heath situation. But she's not acknowledging the human factor here - that Heath is a person who may have his own unspoken ulterior motives driving him. Just like Diego did. She's just not seeing what Max is seeing.

BUT - again I'll say. Max is also not communicating the scope of the evidence he is collecting. They're both wrong here.

"I have learned my lessons, but you... oh, my God, you sound an awful lot like the guy who blew up my lab. So forgive me, but you're making it perfectly clear why I felt like I had to go and change the wallpaper."

This is the only line where Liz even comes close to talking about her science, but again, she's talking about his betrayal. She's talking about him undermining their partnership. She's talking about her need for a change of scenery from HIM.

And that’s when Max blows out the safe and they put the fight on hold to finish their investigation.

But, to sum it up…the fight was all about trust and betrayal. It was necessary for them to work through it, though frankly? I wish they could have finished the discussion. Because instead of them coming to some sort of peace with their trust in each other, the truth came out about Heath, Liz realized that she was wrong, she apologized, and they moved forward together, on mission.

I can’t help pointing out though…after the fight and Liz's epiphany about Heath, Max and Liz spent at least 15 hours in a car together. And I'm sorry, I refuse to believe that they didn't talk about anything important for 15 hours. Fic writers assemble? 😆

Many thanks to @ober-affen-geil for doing a quick review and checking me on opinions vs facts. Very important.

And for my next trick… road trips, life choices, and Robert Frost! Coming soon to a Tumblr near you…

[sk1fanfiction]

the many faces of tom riddle, part 4

-attachment, orphanages, and yet more child psych: time to add yet another voice to the void-

FULL DISCLAIMER THAT THIS IS JUST MY OPINION OF A CHARACTER WHO DOESN’T HAVE THE STRONGEST CANON CHARACTERIZATION, AND THUS ALL THIS IS BASED ON MY CONCEPTUALIZATION.

I'm going to be super biased, because my favorite portrayal of Tom Riddle is actually Hero Fiennes-Tiffin as eleven-year-old Tom Riddle, in HBP and I get to chat about child psych in this one, sooo here we go.

First of all, I’m just so impressed that a kid could bring that much depth to such a complex character.

This is the portrayal, I feel, that brings us closest to Tom’s character. Yes, Coulson’s brought us pretty close, but by fifth year, the mask was on.

We don't really get to see Tom looking afraid very often, but it's fear that rules his life, so it's really poignant in our first (chronologically) introduction, he looks absolutely terrified.

The void being the fandom's loud opinions on a certain headmaster. I wouldn't call myself pro-Dumbledore, but I'm certainly not anti-Dumbledore, either. (Agnostic-Dumbledore??)

Since I'm not of the anti-Dumbledore persuasion, I decided to poke around in the tags and see what the arguments were, so I don't make comments out of ignorance.

Most of the tag seems to be more directed towards his treatment of Harry and Sirius, but a few people mentioned that Dumbledore should have treated Tom with ‘exceptional kindness’ and tried to ‘rehabilitate’ him.

As I said in Parts 2 and 3, I am 100% in favor of helping a traumatized kid learn to cope, and I don’t think Tom Riddle was solidly on the Path to Evil (TM) at birth, or even at eleven. Not even at fifteen.

Could unconditional love and kindness have helped Tom Riddle enough for the rise of Lord Voldemort to never happen? Possibly, but...

Yes, I'm about to drag up that Carl Jung quote, again.

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

The problem with this is that if you’re going to blame Dumbledore for this, you also have to blame every other adult in Tom’s life: his headmaster, Dippet, his Head of House, Slughorn, his ‘caretakers’ at the orphanage, Mrs. Cole and Martha, and possibly more. In fact, if we're going to blame any adult, let's blame Merope for r*ping and abusing Tom Riddle Senior, and having a kid she wasn't intending to take care of.

Furthermore, you cannot possibly hold anyone but Tom accountable for the murders he committed. (I should not have to sit here and explain why cold-blooded murder is wrong.) And if you like Tom Riddle's character, insinuating that his actions are completely at the whim of others is just a bit condescending towards him. He's not an automaton or a marionette, he's a very intelligent human being with a functioning brain, and at sixteen is fully capable of moral reasoning and critical analysis.

I've heard the theories about Dumbledore setting the Potters up to die, and I'm not going to discuss their validity right now; but he didn't put a wand in Tom's hand and force him to kill anyone. Tom did it all of his own accord.

And while yes, I have enormous sympathy for what happened to Tom as a child, at some point, he decided to murder Myrtle Warren, and that is where I lose my sympathy. Experiencing trauma does not give you the right to inflict harm on others. Yes, Tom was failed, but then, he spectacularly failed himself.

We also have no idea how Dumbledore treated Tom as a student.

In the movies, it’s Dumbledore who tells Tom he has to go back to the orphanage, but in the books, it’s Dippet. We know that Slughorn spent a lot of time around Tom at Slug Club and such, yet I don’t really see people clamoring for his head.

I regard the sentiment that Dumbledore turned Tom Riddle into Lord Voldemort with a lot of skepticism.

But let's hear from the character himself -- his impression of eleven-year-old Tom Riddle.

“Did I know that I had just met the most dangerous Dark wizard of all time?” said Dumbledore. “No, I had no idea that he was to grow up to be what he is. However, I was certainly intrigued by him. I returned to Hogwarts intending to keep an eye upon him, something I should have done in any case, given that he was alone and friendless, but which, already, I felt I ought to do for others’ sake as much as his."

Now, assuming that Dumbledore's telling the truth, I'm not seeing something glaringly wrong with this. No, he hasn't pigeonholed Tom as evil, yes, I'd be intrigued, too, and it's a very good idea to keep an eye on Tom, for his own sake.

“At Hogwarts,” Dumbledore went on, “we teach you not only to use magic, but to control it. You have — inadvertently, I am sure — been using your powers in a way that is neither taught nor tolerated at our school."

Again, it seems like he's at least somewhat sympathetic towards Tom, and is willing to at least give him a chance.

More evidence (again, assuming Dumbledore is a reliable narrator):

Harry: “Didn’t you tell them [the other professors], sir, what he’d been like when you met him at the orphanage?” Dumbledore: “No, I did not. Though he had shown no hint of remorse, it was possible that he felt sorry for how he had behaved before and was resolved to turn over a fresh leaf. I chose to give him that chance.”

Now, I think Dumbledore is pretty awful with kids, but I don't think that's malicious. Yeah, it's a flaw, but perfect people don't exist, and perfect characters are dead boring. I am not saying that he definitely handled Tom's case well, I'm just saying that there's little evidence that Dumbledore, however shaken and scandalized, wrote him off as 'evil snake boy.'

It's also worth taking into account that it's 1938, and the attitudes towards mental health back then.

Why is Tom looking at Dumbledore like that, anyway? Why is he so scared? What has he possibly been threatened with or heard whispers of?

"'Professor'?" repeated Riddle. He looked wary. "Is that like 'doctor'? What are you here for? Did she get you in to have a look at me?"

"I don't believe you," said Riddle. "She wants me looked at, doesn't she? Tell the truth!"

"You can't kid me! The asylum, that's where you're from, isn't it? 'Professor,' yes, of course -- well, I'm not going, see? That old cat's the one who should be in the asylum. I never did anything to little Amy Benson or Dennis Bishop, and you can ask them, they'll tell you!

Tom keeps insisting he's not mad until Dumbledore finally manages to calm him down.

I'm really upset this wasn't in the movie, because it's important context. Instead we got these throwaway cutscenes of some knick-knacks relating to the Cave he's got lying around, but I just would have preferred to see him freaking out like he does in the book.

There was extreme stigma and prejudice towards mental illness.

'Lunatic asylums,' as they were called in Tom's time, were terrible places. In the 1930s and 40s, he could look forward to being 'treated' with induced convulsions, via metrazol, insulin, electroshock, and malaria injections. And if he stuck around long enough, he could even look forward to a lobotomy!

So, if you think Dumbledore was judgmental towards Tom, imagine how flat-out prejudiced whatever doctors or 'experts' Mrs. Cole might have gotten in to 'look at him' must have been!

Moving on to the next few shots, he is sitting down and hunched over as if expecting punishment or at least some kind of bad news, Dumbledore is mostly out of the frame. He’s trapped visually, by Dumbledore on one side, and a wall on the other, because he’s still very much afraid. uncomfortable, as he tells Dumbledore a secret that he fears could get him committed to an asylum (which were fucking horrible places, as I said).

It brings to the scene that miserable sense of isolation and loneliness to that has defined Tom’s entire life up to that point (and, partially due to his own bad choices, continues to define it).

And, when Dumbledore accepts it, his posture changes. he becomes more confident and more at ease, as he describes the... utilities of his magical abilities. 

"All sorts," breathed Riddle. A flush of excitement was rising up his neck into his hollow cheeks; he looked fevered. "I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to."

Riddle lifted his head. His face was transfigured: There was a wild happiness upon it, yet for some reason it did not make him better looking; on the contrary, his finely carved features seemed somehow rougher, his expression almost bestial.

I do think Harry, our narrator, is being a tad bit judgmental here. Magic is probably the only thing that brings Tom happiness in his grey, lonely world, and when I was Tom's age and being bullied, if I had magic powers, you'd better believe that I'd (a) be bloody ecstatic about it (b) use them. And, like Tom, I can't honestly say that I can't imagine getting a bit carried-away with it. Unfortunately, we can't all be as inherently good and kindhearted as Harry.

Reading HBP again, as a 'mature' person, it almost seems like the reader is being prompted to see Tom as evil just because he's got 'weird' facial expressions.

So... uh...

Nope, let's judge Tom on his actions, not looks of 'wild happiness.'

To his great surprise, however, Dumbledore drew his wand from an inside pocket of his suit jacket, pointed it at the shabby wardrobe in the corner, and gave the wand a casual flick. The wardrobe burst into flames. Riddle jumped to his feet; Harry could hardly blame him for howling in shock and rage; all his worldly possessions must be in there. But even as Riddle rounded on Dumbledore, the flames vanished, leaving the wardrobe completely undamaged.

Okay, one thing I dislike is Tom's lack of emotional affect when Dumbledore burned the wardrobe, in the books, he jumped up and started screaming, instead of looking passively (in shock, perhaps?) at the fire. Incidentally, I can't really tell if he's impressed or in shock, to be honest. I think they really tried to make Tom 'creepier' in the movie.

This is one of the incidents where Dumbledore's inability to deal with children crops up.

I think he was trying to teach Tom that magic can be dangerous, and he wouldn't like it to be used against him, but burning the wardrobe that contains everything he owns was a terrible move on Dumbledore's part. Tom already has very limited trust in other people, and now, he's not going to trust Dumbledore at all -- now, he's put Tom on the defensive/offensive for the rest of their interaction, and perhaps for the rest of their teacher-student relationship.

Riddle stared from the wardrobe to Dumbledore; then, his expression greedy, he pointed at the wand. "Where can I get one of them?"

"Where do you buy spellbooks?" interrupted Riddle, who had taken the heavy money bag without thanking Dumbledore, and was now examining a fat gold Galleon.

But I'm not surprised Tom is 'greedy.' He's grown up in an environment where if he wants something, whether that's affection, food, money, toys, he's got to take it. There's no one looking after his needs specifically. I'm not surprised that he's a thief and a hoarder, and I don't think that counts as a moral failing necessarily, and more of a maladaptive way of seeking comfort. It would be bizarre if he came out of Wool's Orphanage a complete saint.

Additionally, I think given that the Gaunt family has a history of 'mental instability,' Tom is a sensitive child, and the trauma of growing up institutionalized and possibly being treated badly due to his magical abilities or personality disorder deeply affected him.

And there are points where it seems that Dumbledore is quick to judge Tom.

"He was already using magic against other people, to frighten, to punish, to control."

"Yes, indeed; a rare ability, and one supposedly connected with the Dark Arts, although as we know, there are Parselmouths among the great and the good too. In fact, his ability to speak to serpents did not make me nearly as uneasy as his obvious instincts for cruelty, secrecy, and domination."

"I trust that you also noticed that Tom Riddle was already highly self-sufficient, secretive, and, apparently, friendless?..."

And while this is all empirically true, these are (a) a product of Tom's harsh environment, and (b) do not necessarily make him evil. But the point remains that child psych didn't exist as a field of its own, and psychology as a proper science was in its infancy, so I'd be shocked if Dumbledore was insightful about Tom's situation.

But I've gone a ton of paragraphs without citing anything, so I've got to rectify that.

Let's talk about Harry Harlow's monkey experiments in the 1950-70s.

If you're not a fan of animal research, since I know some people are uncomfortable with it, feel free to scroll past.

Here's the TL;DR: Children need to be hugged and shown affection too, not just fed and clothed, please don't leave babies to 'cry out' and ignore their needs because it's backwards and fucking inhumane. HUG AND COMFORT AND CODDLE CHILDREN AND SPOIL THEM WITH AFFECTION!

I will put more red writing when the section is over.

This is still an interesting experiment to have in mind while we explore the whole 'no one taught Tom Riddle how to love' thing and whether or not it's actually a good argument.

Andddd let's go all the way back to the initial 1958 experiment, featured in Harlow's paper, the Nature of Love. (If you're familiar with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, him and Harlow actually collaborated for a time).

To give you an idea of our starting point, until Harlow's experiment, which happened twenty years after Dumbledore meets Tom for the first time, no one in science had really been interested in studying love and affection.

"Psychologists, at least psychologists who write textbooks, not only show no interest in the origin and development of love or affection, but they seem to be unaware of its very existence."

I'm going to link some videos of Harry Harlow showing the actual experiment, which animal rights activists would probably consider 'horrifying.' It's nothing gory or anything, but if you are particularly soft-hearted (and I do not mean that as an insult), be warned. It's mostly just baby monkeys being very upset and Harlow discussing it in a callous manner. Yes, today it would be considered unethical, but it's still incredibly important work and if you think you can handle it, I would recommend watching at least the first one to get an idea of how dramatic this effect is.

Dependency when frightened

The full experiment

The TL;DW:

This experiment was conducted with rhesus macaques; they're still used in psychology/neuroscience research when you want very human-like subjects, because they are very intelligent (unnervingly so, actually). I'd say that adult ones remind me of a three-year old child.

Harlow separated newborn monkeys from their mothers, and cared for their physical needs. They had ample nutrition, bedding, warmth, et cetera. However, the researchers noticed that the monkeys:

(a) were absolutely miserable. And not just that, but although all their physical needs were taken care of, they weren't surviving well past the first few days of life. (This has also been documented in human babies, and it's called failure to thrive and I'll talk about it a bit later).

(b) showed a strong attachment to the gauze pads used to cover the floor, and decided to investigate.

So, they decided to provide a surrogate 'mother.' Two, actually. Mother #1 was basically a heated fuzzy doll that was nice for the monkeys to cuddle with. Mother #2 was the same, but not fuzzy and made of wire. Both provided milk. The result? The monkeys spent all their time cuddling and feeding from the fuzzy 'mother.' Perhaps not surprising.

What Harlow decided next, is that one of the hallmarks being attached to your caregiver is seeking hugs and reassurance from them when frightened. So, when the monkeys were presented with something scary, they'd go straight to the cloth mother and ignore the wire one. Not only that, but when placed in an unfamiliar environment, if the cloth mother was present, the monkeys would be much calmer.

In a follow-up experiment, Harlow decided to see if there was some sort of sensitive period by introducing both 'mothers' to monkeys who had been raised in isolation for 250 days. Guess what?

The initial reaction of the monkeys to the alterations was one of extreme disturbance. All the infants screamed violently and made repeated attempts to escape the cage whenever the door was opened. They kept a maximum distance from the mother surrogates and exhibited a considerable amount of rocking and crouching behavior, indicative of emotionality.

Yikes. So, at first Harlow thought that they'd passed some kind of sensitive period for socialization. But after a day or two they calmed down and started chilling out with the cloth mother like the other monkeys did. But here's a weird thing:

That the control monkeys develop affection or love for the cloth mother when she is introduced into the cage at 250 days of age cannot be questioned. There is every reason to believe, however, that this interval of delay depresses the intensity of the affectional response below that of the infant monkeys that were surrogate-mothered from birth onward

All these things... attachment, affection, love, seeking comfort ... are mostly learned behaviours.

Over.

Orphanages, institutionalized childcare, and why affection is a need, not an extra.

His face is lit the exact same was as Coulson’s was in COS (half-light, half-dark), and I said I was going to talk about this in Part 3. I think perhaps it's intended to make Fiennes-Tiffin look more evil or menacing, but I'm going to quite deliberately misinterpret it.

Now, for some context, Dumbledore has just (kind of) burned his wardrobe, ratted out his stealing habit, and (in the books only, they really took a pair of scissors to this scene) told him he needs to go apologize and return everything and Dumbledore will know if he doesn't, and, well, Tom's not exactly a happy bugger about it.

But interestingly, in the books, this is when we start to see Tom's 'persona,' aka his mask, start to come into play. Whereas before, he was screaming, howling, and generally freaking out, here, he starts to hide his emotions -- in essence, obscure his true self under a shadow. So this scene is really the reverse of Coulson's in COS.

And perhaps I'm reading wayyy too much into this, but I can't help but notice that Coulson's hair is parted opposite to Fiennes-Tiffin's, and the opposite sides of their faces are shadowed, too.

Riddle threw Dumbledore a long, clear, calculating look. "Yes, I suppose so, sir," he said finally, in an expressionless voice.

Riddle did not look remotely abashed; he was still staring coldly and appraisingly at Dumbledore. At last he said in a colorless voice, "Yes, sir."

Here's an article from The Atlantic on Romanian orphanages in the 1980s, when the dictator, Ceausescu, basically forced people to have as many children as possible and funnel them into institutionalized 'childcare', and it's absolutely heartbreaking.

There's not a whole lot of information out there on British orphanages in the 30s' and 40s', but given that people back then thought you just had to keep children on a strict schedule and feed them, it wouldn't have a whole lot better.

The only thing I've found is this, and it's not super promising.

The most important study informing the criteria for contemporary nosologies, was a study by Barbara Tizard and her colleagues of young children being raised in residential nurseries in London (Tizard, 1977). These nurseries had lower child to caregiver ratios than many previous studies of institutionalized children. Also, the children were raised in mixed aged groups and had adequate books and toys available. Nevertheless, caregivers were explicitly discouraged from forming attachments to the children in their care.

Here's a fairly recent paper that I think gives a good summary: Link

Here, they describe the responses to the Strange Situation test (which tests a child's attachment to their caregiver).

We found that 100% of the community sample received a score of “5,” indicating fully formed attachments, whereas only 3% of the infants living in institutions demonstrated fully formed attachments. The remaining 97% showed absent, incomplete, or odd and abnormal attachment behaviors.

Bowlby and Ainsworth, who did the initial study, thought that children would always attach to their caregivers, regardless of neglect or abuse. But some infants don't attach (discussed along with RAD in Part 2).

Here's a really good review paper on attachment disorders in currently or formerly institutionalized children : Link

Core features of RAD in young children include the absence of focused attachment behaviors directed towards a preferred caregiver, failure to seek and respond to comforting when distressed, reduced social and emotional reciprocity, and disturbances of emotion regulation, including reduced positive affect and unexplained fearfulness or irritability.

Which all sounds a lot like Tom in this scene. The paper also discusses neurological effects, like atypical EEG power distribution (aka brain waves), which can correlate with 'indiscriminate' behavior and poor inhibitory control; which makes sense for a kid who, oh, I don't know, hung another kid's rabbit because they were angry.

Furthermore...

...those children with more prolonged institutional rearing showed reduced amygdala discrimination and more indiscriminate behavior.

This again, makes a ton of sense for Tom's psychological profile, because the amygdala (which is part of the limbic system, which regulates emotions) plays a major role in fear, anger, anxiety, and aggression, especially with respect to learning, motivation and memory.

So, I agree completely that Tom needed a lot of help, especially given the fact that he spent eleven years in an orphanage (longer than the Bucharest study I was referring to), and Dumbledore wasn't exactly understanding of his situation, and probably didn't realise what a dramatic effect the orphanage had on Tom, and given the way he talks to Tom, probably treated him as if he were a kid who grew up in a healthy environment.

In case you are still unconvinced that hugging is that important, there's a famous 1944 study conducted on 40 newborn human infants to see what would happen if their physical needs (fed, bathed, diapers changed) were provided for with no affection. The study had to be stopped because half the babies died after four months. Affection leads to the production of hormones and boosts the immune system, which increases survival, and that is why we hug children and babies should not be in orphanages. They are supposed to be hugged, all the time. I can't find the citation right now, I'll add it later if I find it.

But I think it's vastly unrealistic to say that Dumbledore, who grew up during the Victorian Era, would have any grasp of this and I don't think he was actively malicious towards Tom.

Was Tom Riddle failed by institutional childcare? Absolutely.

Were the adults in his life oblivious to his situation? Probably.

Do the shitty things that happened to Tom excuse the murders he committed, and are they anyone's fault but his own? No. At the end of the day, Tom made all the wrong choices.

And, for what it's worth, I think (film) Dumbledore (although he expresses the same sentiment in more words in the books) wishes he could go back in time and have helped Tom.

"Draco. Years ago, I knew a boy, who made all the wrong choices. Please, let me help you."

[the-avengers-ate-my-tongue]

The Storm

Summary: You work with Jack Crawford and Alana is your cousin, both of you live together for a long time. She gets caught up with a flat tire far away and asks you to let Will in, for he's expecting her. A storm is coming, and she keeps taking longer and longer to show up. Will the universe conspire in your favor?

Pairing: Will Graham x reader

Warnings: swearing, insinuation of smut, fluff.

Word count: 4.328

A/n: I'm starting to consider changing this tumblr for a Hannibal one, mostly Will Graham, so some requests from other fandoms would be nice haha hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing ♥️

*not my gif

There wasn't a thing such as a boring day at the BAU. 

At least not when you're part of Jack Crawford's crew. There was always an interesting case to focus on, a disfigured body to study the reason of death, it was always a thrilling hunt for evidence. The best experience I've ever had so far in my career, and I could only thank my cousin Alana for putting me on the Guru's radar. I was a great crime scene investigator, albeit a little younger than people gave me credit for. I taught people not to underestimate me over the years, though. I got here by my own effort, being a tenacious, hard-working woman who wouldn't get a no for an answer. 

I got along well with my crewmates, Beverly Katz, Brian Zeller and Jimmy Price, though our relationship hardly extended for life outside work. Except for Beverly, we went out for a couple of beers sometimes, she was fun, witty and I really liked our conversations. Jack was the big boss, and that was it. I had a lot of respect for him, and I knew he didn't regret bringing me to his team, I could see it in his eyes in the first case I've got. I was very cunning when I shared my insights about the cases, sometimes I saw things no one else could, no one but…

Of course, I was far, far away from being a Will Graham. But ever since I was younger, I've had this sort of intuition that helped me to solve problems, I would solve riddles easily and when people asked me how I got to the answer, I wouldn't know the steps, I just knew deep in my bones I was right. That happened a lot when I was growing up and was even stronger now that I knew how to use it. It was some artifice of my inconscient, something I could always count on. It included everything in my life, math, logical thinking, riddles. My brain picked things I couldn't perceive clearly, bringing them to the clear waters of my conscience. 

Will Graham was a curious man. He intrigued me from the very first moment I saw him at the house of one of the last victims of The Minnesota Shrike, Garret Jacob Hobbs, now dead. He was practically hiding in a corner, his eyes closed behind the lens of his glasses, dark wavy hair, jawline for days. He seemed highly focused until Beverly started to talk to him, pulling him out of his daze. He could barely look at her, or at me, and although he looked socially awkward and troubled, he still managed to look like a daydream. I studied every inch of his face, lowering my gaze when he seemed to get uncomfortable, after smiling lightly. I was a bit shy myself. I lived with Alana and, when I got home that night, I absentmindedly asked her about that curious handsome man who seemed to be out of place, yet so connected to that scene. She started to talk about him, but stopped once she noticed my interest. Then, she told me he was a very unstable person, that she wouldn't even be alone in the room with him because of her professional curiosity. As time passed and he solved more and more cases, I could see how people looked at him like an attraction of the zoo. However, not me, and later, not Beverly. Brian didn't seem to like him very much, I could see. Envy, perhaps? Nevertheless, the more I saw Will, the more intrigued I got. He avoided eye contact like the plague, but as I was always friendly and tried my best to treat him like a normal person, not focusing only on work, dead bodies and serial killers, I saw more of those beautiful blue eyes. He knew I was Alana's cousin, and I sooner realized he had a fling for her. 

And boy, did that break my silly little heart. I wasn't surprised, though. Who could blame him? Alana was amazing. I never felt resentful for that, but as time passed, I started to detach from the idea of Will being somewhat more than a simple acquaintance. That afternoon, I was going home from work when I got a call from Alana.

"Speak fast, I'm driving." I said, keeping one hand on the wheel and the other holding my phone.

"You're going home? Great. I invited Will so we could talk about a profile I'm building, but I got caught up here. I already spoke to him, he's almost there, can you let him in? He said he'll wait, and I'll be home in about fifty minutes, no more than that, hopefully." She said in a hurry, and I felt my cheeks burn a little. Will and me? Home alone? 

"I…" I hesitated, chewing my bottom lip nervously. "You won't be long, right? Heard on the radio there’s a storm for later."

"I won't, promise. Just let him in, he's already aware I'll take a little longer to be there. See you soon. Thanks, Y/n!" She hung up, not leaving me any time to answer. I put the phone down, still chewing on my bottom lip. I could feel excitement rising on my stomach, making me feel slightly nauseated, and noticed my hands starting to sweat.

Please. That was ridiculous. What was I, a teenager? I was a grown-up, well-succeeded woman, for God's sake. I rubbed my hands on my jeans, driving a little faster than I usually did almost unconsciously. I got home after twenty minutes, parking outside the pretty house. Will was already there, leaning against his car, so lost in his thoughts he barely noticed I'd arrived. I looked at my reflection at the mirror hurriedly, fixing my hair, pinching my cheeks to look less pale, brushing my eyebrows with my fingers to make them look neat. I wasn't even wearing any lipstick today. It had been a long day at work. 

I opened the car door, exiting the vehicle, the noise from shutting the door finally bringing him out of his daze, and he finally seemed to notice me. He smiled lightly, lowering his eyes. He had his glasses on, but as soon as he saw me, he took them off, hanging them on his shirt.

"Hey, Will. I hope I haven't kept you waiting too long. There was a little bit of traffic." I justified, walking to the porch and waiting for him to follow me. 

"Y/n. Not at all, I just got here. Alana explained what happened, thanks for coming to let me in. Hope I didn't ruin any appointment you may have had." He waited until I unlocked the door, and we finally were engulfed with the warm air of the heater.

"Nope, I was coming home, no appointments lost. Please, come in. I'm not sure you've ever been here before, but make yourself home." I hung my trench coat, sighing with the pleasure of being home. I loved the atmosphere of that place. "Can I get you anything? Water, soda, beer…"

"Thank you. I'm fine. And no, I haven't been here before." I held back the temptation of saying "good", biting my bottom lip as I watched him sit on the couch. I just stood there for a while, not sure of what to do next. 

He frowned a little, probably thinking why I was acting so weird, and that made me nervous, because it was just an easy step to realize my silly crush on him. Did he know? What if Alana said something? Said something? For fuck's sake, he was Will Graham, he could probably see that written across my stupid face! Shit, he knows. I'm making a fool of myself. Why do I even…

"Is everything okay?" His voice startled me a little, pulling me out of my neurotic breakdown, and I wondered how my facial expressions looked. Was I blinking only one eye like the stereotyped madness of cartoons? I certainly didn't look normal. I cleared my throat, laughing lightly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess I'm not really used to having people over anymore. I've been working a lot lately. People are dying like flies." I sat on the armchair in front of him, sighing. 

"What we do can be overwhelming sometimes. What we see every day. It just… stains you." He said, with a dark look on his serious eyes. 

I nodded. I felt that way sometimes, but I was used to it. I stopped feeling that sense of inadequacy on my chest years ago. 

"I guess you just begin to cope with it, though. Our brain adapts to that harsh reality. But it's always nice to vent somehow. What do you do in your free time?" I asked, wondering if I was getting too personal. Did I sound like I was probing to ask him out?  I felt my face getting warm. Damn it.

Either he didn't realize, or he was just too chivalrous to point, but he didn't mention anything.

"I fish." He said, simply. I nodded with a light smile.

"And you play with your doggies." I pointed, smiling wider. I loved dogs. He'd mentioned them before, so I just brought the subject up, trying to shift the attention from me to them. Will smiled back, his eyes with a subtle glow. He really loved them, and that was so sweet. "Fishing sounds nice. Unfortunately, I could never. I'm too restless. I'd probably startle all the fish and wouldn't catch anything."

He laughed, and that was the first time I ever heard that sound coming out of him. I felt like I was someone deaf that was able to hear the sound of Mozart's symphonies for the first time, and I just knew. There was never detachment from the idea of Will being more than an acquaintance. It was tackled down inside my brain somewhere, for the brain tends to adapt to harsh realities, but it was still there, just waiting for some incentive. 

"It's just a matter of training, getting used to it. I could teach you someday… if you want." He blinked a few times, as if he was surprised with his own boldness, smiling lightly. "And you? What do you do to vent?" He asked, seeming genuinely interested.

"Well, I read a lot. Maybe I could read by the riverside while I watch you fish." I said, shrugging with a subtle smile.

"It's a date, then?" Will inquired, making me mortified. Caught me by total surprise, and when I was about to say something, my phone rang.

"Excuse me." I answered the phone. It was Alana. "Hey. We're already here waiting for you."

Not that I wanted her to arrive any time sooner, but she didn't have to know that.

"You won't believe me; I've got a flat tire. There's a guy helping me out, I was lucky, I'm in the middle of nowhere. But I'll get there in about fifty more minutes, more or less. Can you put Will on the phone? I'll explain everything to him."

"Do you need one of us to pick you up? I'm sure he wouldn't mind, I wouldn't…"

"No, he's almost done. Thank you. Let me talk to Will, I'll be there soon. The storm is about to catch me, I wanna hurry."

I sighed, grimacing at him. 

"She wants to talk to you." I passed him the phone, studying his expressions while he talked to her. As I looked at the window, I could see the dark clouds gathering up, making the end of the afternoon murky. The storm was about to hit hard. I could see a few thin drops of rain starting to wet the glass.

"I can stay a little longer, no problem. I'm being well attended." He traded looks with me, biting his lip slightly. "Okay. I'll see you soon, Alana."

He gave me the phone, but Alana was already gone. I put it on the coffee table, getting up.

"I think I'll pour myself some wine. Do you want some?" I asked politely. "It's one of the fanciest ones; Hannibal gave us a bottle when we dined at his house a few days ago."

"Yes. Thank you." He waited for me to come back with the beverages, and I did my best not to spill anything, sitting on the couch beside him while I gave him the glass. "So you're acquainted with Dr. Lecter?"

"Oh yeah, he's an old friend of Alana's, sometimes he invites us to dinner. He cooks the best meals I've ever had in my entire life, so I don't exactly decline the invitations. And he's one of the most brilliant people I've ever met, so it's always interesting." I took a sip of the crimson liquid, moaning low in pleasure. Good wine. I preferred a good cup of hot oolong, but it was impossible not to appreciate the quality of that drink. 

A few glasses after and a lot of talks about dogs, fishing and other hobbies, he finally felt safe to bring back the topic. The rain had started really pouring, the now thicker drops hitting the windows loudly. Alana hadn't called again. It was nighttime now, the sky seeming to be darker than usual. I was low-key worried about her, but the conversation was too great to interrupt. She was a good driver. She would be just fine. 

"I've been seeing Hannibal Lecter in his office. Not exactly his patient, though. A courtesy of Jack Crawford to keep an eye on the coping of my brain functions." He sounded a bit bitter, drinking a few sips of his wine.

I could see he didn't like therapy. Must be hard with someone with a mind like his.

"You know, sometimes, Alana psychoanalyses me. Like, she doesn't even notice. It's cute, but sometimes it creeps me out." 

"She has a professional curiosity about me, but she's too polite and considerate to let it slip out. We've never even been alone in the same room together."

I held back a bitter comment, not wanting to talk shit about my cousin, but he saw it right through me. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to put you in a complicated position."

"I know. You're sweet." The word slipped through my tongue before I could contain it. Will blinked a few times, seeming surprised, and I felt my cheeks burn, starting to stutter. "I meant… I'm sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?"

"No, no. It's just… no one's ever called me that before." It was my time to get surprised. He didn't seem to be complimented much, and that just made me flabbergasted. I couldn't be the only one who saw how fantastic Will was.

"... Ah. Well, some people are just shy. I'm shy as hell, don't even know how I had the nerve to say that, it's probably the wine starting to kick in. Hope I really didn't make you uncomfortable, though. Don't need to be polite, it's okay to tell me."

"Actually, I'm curious to know what else you think of me. I sense it's not the only word you have to define me." He sounded bolder, and his eyes were on mine, giving me shivers down my spine. 

"Well… I think you're too exceptional to be defined with a few words. You're… Kind, brilliant… I see how seeing what you see, doing what you do, how it wrecks you sometimes, and you just keep doing it because you're saving lives. That's so selfless, Will. That's…" I was going to say more, but at that very moment, a loud thunder just made the house practically tremble, and I let out a real inelegant weep, coming closer to Will and holding his arm firmly, my fingers grabbing on the fabric of his shirt. He could've thought it was an artifice to get closer to him, but he could see how frightened I was, trembling like a cornered wild little beast. I hated thunders, fireworks, anything loud. Feeling ridiculous, I released his shirt, apologizing with embarrassment.

"It's okay. It's just noise. I'm here." He put some of my hair that had fallen to my face behind my ear with such a tenderness that I felt my stomach twitch, realizing suddenly how close we were. He was looking at me as if it was the first time he was actually seeing me. 

The phone rang again. Alana! I grabbed it from the coffee table, turning to face Will. He wasn't avoiding eye contact anymore, his pupils were dilated. My breathing was accelerated, and I knew it had little to do with the thunder.

"Lana, is everything okay?" I asked with genuine concern. "Are you close?"

"Ah, Y/n. I'm so sorry. I don't think I'll make it in time, I'm driving slow, the roads are slippery because of the storm and it's pretty foggy. I'll stop at a motel and spend the night, or at least wait for the storm to pass. I'm so furious with myself!"

"It's okay cuz, do what's safer for you. I'm sure Will will understand. I'll pass him the phone." I gave him the phone and he talked to Alana for a few minutes, but I wasn't listening. She'd ruined the moment unintentionally, and now he was probably going home. When would I have an opportunity like that again? 

"Okay. Don't worry. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, Alana. Take care." He gave me the phone and I put it on the coffee table again. Before any of us could say anything, another thunder cracked the sky, and this time, Will held me so I wouldn't be afraid. The lights went out, and he held me against his chest protectively, making me smell his aftershave and some perfume. He smelled so good. For a moment, I just stood there in his arms, feeling his warmth, his breath, the steady beats of his heart. 

I moved away just a little to see his face, very close to mine, but it was so dark I could only see shadows. A lightning lit up the room and, just for a little moment, I could see his gorgeous eyes staring at me. After a soft touch of his thumb on my lips, he finally kissed me, so gentle, like I could break as fine china with any rougher move. I touched his neck with both my hands, playing with his hair, feeling how soft they were. He pulled me closer, his hands on my waist, and the kiss started to get deeper, voracious, as if we were hungry for each other. Maybe the wine was helping to raise the lust; all I know is that I've wanted that to happen for a long time. Will's kiss was everything I imagined it would be, but entirely different at the same time. All I could say was that he was great at it. His hands traveled through my body, and I grabbed his hair, pulling it slightly. That made a low growl echo through his chest, and I started to feel my body fervent as a bonfire.

I couldn't say much because I was breathless and I didn't want to stop what we were doing, so a single word left my lips as I kept my forehead on his.

"Stay."

Will bit his lip, kissing me again, and that was all the answer I needed.

xx 

Morning. Thin sunrays illuminated my bedroom floor through the curtains, waking me up. The storm was gone. I haven't had a nice night of sleep like that in ages. I looked at the other side of my bed and there was Will, sleeping heavily. It wasn't a dream, after all. Last night really happened. I smiled, staring at the roof with disbelief in my eyes.

I stared at him for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. Should I just let him sleep? He looked so heavenly, his hair was messy, his breathing steady, he seemed so less troubled than he usually was. I touched his hair lightly, caressing it with tenderness, and he started to move. I could see his neck, and a few hickies we marked on his albescent skin. That made me blush a little bit, and I laughed silently. 

He opened his eyes while I still touched his hair, but I didn't stop, and he didn't seem to want me to. We stared at each other in silence for a few moments, and he smiled, a different smile than the usual ones he gave me.

"Hi." He said, pulling me closer by my waist, stroking the skin under the sheets. I pecked him on the lips, then kissing his forehead, his cheek, his jawline. 

"Hey there. Good morning. I'm starving, are you having breakfast with me?"

"Actually, I gotta go home. Feed the dogs." He said, stroking my nude shoulder with his finger.

"Of course. Your dogs. I won't keep you then, poor babies must be so hungry." I kissed his cheek and was about to get up when he pulled me again, gently kissing my lips. I smiled, probably looking like an idiot. A joyful idiot. "I'll let you get dressed. I'll be in the kitchen."

I dressed up in my long and black robe, smiling at him before I left the room, going to the kitchen, where I started to make some french toasts. After a few minutes, I heard the front door open, and an exhausted Alana came in, her hair frizzy and her coat looking still a bit wet.

"Oh, Lana! Go change, you'll get a cold!" I stopped what I was doing, going to her and helping to take off her coat.

"That storm was a nightmare. I swear I won't ignore the warnings ever again. I'm so sorry, I had no idea it would get this bad, yesterday was one of those days where everything just goes wrong. Hope Will arrived well at home, did he seem disappointed or annoyed before he left? I was so inconvenient…"

I didn't even have time to answer, because Will opened my bedroom door, coming out while buttoning his shirt, suddenly realizing Alana was there.

"Oh." Alana said, looking so flabbergasted I almost laughed at her. Will rose his eyebrows at the sight of her, seeming a bit unsure of what to do or say. I wasn't planning for her to find out like this, it was a bit early, I wasn't expecting her to arrive so soon. "Hi, Will."

"Alana. Hi." He avoided looking at her, staring at me, and his eyes immediately softened. I smiled, he smiled back, and that was it, Alana was forgotten.

"Off you go to feed your children." I joked, biting my bottom lip. "I guess I'll see you later, then."

"Definitely." He simply said, kissing my forehead while caressing my hair, certainly a little embarrassed to kiss me in front of Alana. "See you later, Y/n. Bye, Alana."

"Bye, Will." I waved with a soft smile, and he grabbed his jacket, leaving the house.

My smile grew larger and I left my head fall back, squeaking low in commemoration. What a night! What a morning! I never thought I would thank a storm so much, let alone a bloody thunder.

Before Alana could say anything, I realized Will had left his glasses at the coffee table, and I picked it up in a hurry, bursting through the front door and calling him before he left, waving in front of the car.

"You forgot your glasses!" I said, and he opened the car windows, raising his hand to pick them.

I leaned against the car window, putting the glasses on him, and kissing his lips fiercely. He moaned in surprise, holding my face to deepen the kiss. After a moment, I pulled away, appreciating the view of his lips so reddish. 

"Go back inside, it's cold." He said with a cheeky smile, and before I could say he actually made me hotter, he took off with the car.

I went back inside, where Alana was waiting for me with her arms crossed. 

"What the hell did you do to Will Graham?" She asked, sounding severe, but a smile was trying to escape her lips "I mean, besides trying to suck his soul with your mouth a few moments ago."

"Oh, shut up!" I laughed, blushing violently. "You made that happen, you know? Thank you. Was that a set up or did the universe actually conspire in my favor?"

"I wish I'd planned this. That would mean I would've had a plan b and I wouldn't have stayed at that disgusting mote… Y/n, you're full of hickies, I can't believe you!"

"You're starting to sound like my mom, Lana. I'm gonna wear a turtleneck, don't worry, I don't want Beverly all over me like a bloodhound and Brian and Jimmy's witty comments today. In fact, keep it to yourself, okay? Will's discreet. I won't even tell Beverly, if she finds out, the whole bureau will know, hell, maybe even Freddie Lounds."

"I told you to let it go, Y/n. Will's very unstable right now. I… I only want what's best for you." She said with concern in her bright blue eyes. I sighed, walking to her and kissing her cheek with affection.

"You're a good cousin. But I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself, okay? Unless this isn't only about me, unless it concerns something else." I raised an eyebrow while staring at her, more confident that I've ever been. "Is there something you wanna tell me?"

She hesitated, clenching her jaw, but never spoke. 

I smiled, tapping her cheek very lightly in approval.

"I gotta get ready to work. Wanna grab lunch with me later?" I asked in a casual tone, a cynical smile on my face. She shrugged. "See you later then, cuz."

[queenof-literature]

A Sick Wild Child - Chapter 10

Chapter 10 - Cold

Aaaand we're back! Sorry for the long wait, college is wack.

Uhh big angst warning for this chapter. I can't really tell if this is angstier than the rest of the chapters? But the warning is there.

As I said earlier, I am going to be rewriting this fic as I add to it. Nothing major will change, but I kinda cringe a little when I read back on it because I feel like my style has developed more as I've written.

Ao3 Link:

I hope y'all enjoy!

The rustling of the leaves above were the loudest sound Warriors heard outside camp. Between the soft snores of his companions, the distant flowing stream, and the cackling of the fire, perhaps he should have let himself relax, if only a little. Being as rigid as a board would do no one any good if monsters came, yet Warriors could not force himself to relax. Strained eyes jumped between the other Links, the world outside their overhang, and the only other two not resting.

Whatever allowed Wild to be semi-coherent hours ago had faded as night went on, stuttering chest still rising and falling roughly. 

Twilight hadn’t left Wild’s side, still holding tightly to the boy’s clammy hand. Warriors let out a sigh, trying to force some tension from his shoulders as he stood, slowly making his way over. 

“You need to get some sleep.” Warriors settled next to him, still keeping a sharp ear out for potential monsters. He had made the mistake of letting down his guard, and he wouldn’t do it again.

“I’ll sleep after your watch.” Twilight was lying, and they both knew it.

“You make fun of Time for taking on too much, but you’re the same damn way.” Warriors huffed.

“Pot, meet kettle.” Twilight snarked and Warriors rolled his eyes at yet another dumb country metaphor. “Besides, be careful what you say, Old Man is probably listening.”

“It’d be hard not to with how loud you two are.” A voice said from Time’s bedroll.

“Sorry, Time.” Warriors and Twilight spoke in unison, chuckling lightly when they heard a tired sigh and grumbling.

“Any signs of Wild waking up again?” Warriors nodded towards Wild’s restless form, keeping his voice far lower.

“Nah. I wouldn’t be so worried if he was getting some actual sleep.” As if sensing his name Wild shifted once again, letting out unidentifiable croaks and murmurs. Twilight stroked his thumb across the back of Wild’s pale hand in an attempt to soothe him once more.

“Yeah…” Warriors spoke awkwardly. “The worst will be over soon, then he’ll be able to start healing. Hylia knows Legend and Hyrule are going to shove a rainbow of potions down his gullet when he can handle it.” Warriors joked, feeling success at the small chuckle he received from the other young man.

“I know he’ll be okay, but…” Twilight trailed off, looking down once more at his protege

“Yeah, it’s hard to see him like this.” Warriors nodded.

“Well yeah but I’m worried for what comes after.” Twilight’s eyes still hadn’t met his.

“What do you mean?”

“When he comes to, how much of these nightmares is he going to remember? Some are fake, but his brain is already… addled.” Twilight said for lack of a better word.

“You’re worried about the memories.” Warriors understood now.

“Yeah. He doesn’t remember anything besides a few memories, I’m worried the real ones will mix with the fake ones and just confuse him more.” Warriors hadn’t even thought of that.

“He’ll be okay once he’s aware enough to talk them through, that’s always seemed to help him in the past.” Warriors reassured, clamping a head on his companion’s shoulder. “I know there’s a lot in the air right now, but we need to focus on the now. We’ll deal with the future when we get there.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks War.” Twilight smiled at his companion, finallying meeting his eyes. Both settled in against the wall, taking comfort in the other’s presence. 

~

Cold, scared, confused. Fear struck his heart when he felt the familiar emotions, among others he couldn’t name. His lungs spasmed, and he felt himself cough roughly. Drowning… was he drowning? He didn’t feel wet, water meant drowning… right? Something warm and gentle slid across his hand and he shivered. What was touching him? Was it bad?

No… cold was bad, warm was good, or so he thinks. Yes that seems right. And what was touching him was warm so he could trust it. Yeah, that logic made sense.

Something was wrong though, he shouldn’t be feeling this way. This wasn’t normal. He tried to open his eyes. Wait, when did those get there? He had a body, and bodies had names. Did he have a name? Whatever was blocking his eyes refused to budge, or perhaps it wasn’t even trying. He felt his ears flicker when a noise drew close to him, and the warmth caressing his hand paused. No, don’t stop! He cried out, or he thought he did.

The warmth moved from his hand, allowing the cold to flood back, and he tried to cry out, he wanted to be warm he didn’t want to be cold. He relaxed once more when the warmth moved under his eye, under his eye… his cheek. The hand pushed into the skin of his cheek softly, and he tried to focus on what he heard above him, but he couldn’t push down his panic. What was his name? Everyone had a name, what was his name?

The warmth, which he now recognized as a hand, pushed his cheek with more intent, the noises growing louder. But he couldn’t focus on that, he could only focus on the empty space where his name, his very identity should be. What was his name? Everything would be okay if he could just remember his damn name-

“Wild?” A voice echoed above him, snapping him back from his spiral. Wild… that didn’t sound quite right, but it certainly didn’t sound wrong, and he clinged to it. Wild, Wild, Wild. That was him! 

“Wild?” Another voice asked, and Wild was sure it was a different one. The hand patted his cheek, and Wild felt his nose scrunch. He didn’t like that.

 “Wild? Are you awake? Can you open your eyes?” Wild’s ears perked at the tone, an odd mix of hope and concern. Now out of his spiral, Wild tried once more to open his eyes. Shutting them tightly once more when light assaulted his vision. He felt his head being turned, vertigo crashing into him, only relaxing when his nose brushed against something slightly course but soft.

“Try again.” The voice coaxed. Wild was skeptical, but did as he was told. With great strength, Wild peeled open his eyes. Even after his eyelids revealed the world around him he couldn’t see right away, it took a while for his vision to clear, yet the voice never grew impatient. He felt heat to his back, and it felt like a fire. Maybe that’s what was so bright. After the fuzziness finally faded, Wild could see he was facing a chest, but it looked odd. There was something missing around the shoulders...

“There he is.” The other voice proclaimed quietly.

“How are you feeling, Cub?” Wild felt the chest he was facing vibrate as the person spoke. Cub… cub.

“Tw’ligh?” Wild slurred, wincing at the dryness of his throat.

“Yeah, Cub.” Wild looked up at the face above him, who looked positively elated for some reason. Wild finally realized why the man looked so off, the usual pelt wrapped around his shoulders was gone. Wild glanced around, eyes slow and fluttering. After looking down he finally realized it was covering him instead. 

Wild tried to blink away the fog. That wasn’t right, this was Twilight’s pelt. Oh no, did Wild steal it? That wasn’t very nice…   

“Wild?” The other voice washed over him once more, and Wild realized it had probably been a while since he had responded.

“War?” Wild recognized the bright blue scarf, and the eyes that matched. The fog was slowly receding from his mind, but annoyingly stuck around the edges.

“That’s me.” Warriors confirmed with a fond smirk. “How are ya feeling?”

Wild didn’t know how to answer that. Everything hurt, his muscles felt heavy and useless, his head pounded, his throat was on fire… worst of all…

“Cold.” Wild rasped, trying to bury his face into the chest beside him, enjoying the rumble he felt and the sound of a fond chuckle.

“Sorry, Wild. Your fever hasn’t broken yet, we can’t let you get too hot.” Twilight really did sound sorry, but that doesn’t sound right. Fever means hot.

“Cold.” Wild stressed again, his small movement sending a spike of pain around his ribs. “Hurts.” Wild whimpered at the aches and pain that surrounded his body, especially his ribs. 

“I know, Cub. It’ll get better soon.” Twilight promised.

“How?” How did he know that? Wild didn’t understand. Goddesses, it felt like he was dying-

Wild froze at that thought. No, no Twilight would tell him. Twilight wouldn’t be so happy, he wouldn’t. The conversation continued as Wild’s world was crashing down on him.

“Your fever hasn’t broken, but it is getting cooler.” An optimistic voice continued, not noticing his panic. Why were they so calm? Wild was dying, he was dying! He felt his breaths get more labored, only sending further panic shooting through him. No, he needed to breathe, breathing meant life and Wild was alive he wasn’t dead he was alive-

“-we’ll fix it, Wild, I promise.” Wild tuned in once more and his heart lurched. Fix it? No, no , no, nononono. 

“N-no!” Wild cried out, trying to sit up.

“Woah!” Warriors bolted forward to keep Wild from agitating his illness further. They just got water in his system, they didn't want him to throw it back up now.

“Tw-i. Don’t. P-please don’t.” Wild pleaded.

“Don’t what? Cub we’re not going to do anything.” Twilight’s voice tried to be calm, but the underlying panic only sent Wild further into his spiral. Twilight knew and he was hiding it! The shrine… not the shrine.

“Na- the shrine. P-please. Anythin’ but the shrine. Just let me go.” Wild begged, coughing roughly at the end. Twilight felt his chest grow cold and his stomach drop. ‘Let me go’, ‘No more shrine’, Twilight felt lightheaded. He knew what it meant. Let me die. 

“No, no Cub, you’re not hurt. Not badly, you’ll recover.” Twilight tried to reassure but Wild was too far gone.

“Hey, hey.” Wild felt a different pair of hands on his cheeks, calloused from constant swordsmanship, but impossibly gentle. “Calm down.” Warriors soothed, brushing aside Wild’s bangs. No! He didn’t understand. He couldn’t do it, not again. He couldn’t wake up with nothing but a name he didn’t recognize, cold, hungry, scared, alone. 

“No shrine, nothing like that. We’re staying right here.” Warriors comforted. Wild shook his head, ignoring the nausea it brought. They didn’t understand, he would forget again. He would forget again. Zelda, the Champions, Riju, Teba, Yunobo, Sidon, the Links. All of them.

“Wild.” Twilight’s voice was soft, but stern, demanding Wild’s attention. “Wild look at me.” A hand took his chin, and he was met with dark blue eyes swirling with intense emotions, half of which Wild couldn’t name. “We’re staying right here. We’re nowhere near the shrine. You’re just sick, you’ll get better, on your own.” Twilight specified, rambling in the hopes that Wild would finally understand. Twilight felt his chest loosen when Wild calmed down slightly. 

Twilight wouldn’t lie about that, Wild could trust him. 

“No shrine?” Wild confirmed.

“No shrine.” Twilight put on his most reassuring smile, covering his turmoil at Wild’s earlier words.

“Never. Promise.” Wild demanded in the most stern tone he could muster, and judging by Twilight’s shaky smirk he didn’t do a very good job. 

“I promise, Cub.”

“Yeah, Hylia knows we wouldn’t even know how to work it- ouch! What it’s true.” Wild tried to laugh at the indignant noise, but all that came out was a coughing fit. He still didn’t understand what was going on, but there was no rush or panic or shouting. It wasn’t like the first time. There were no lasers, or carnage, or desperate screaming.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Twilight deemed after Wild’s fit had passed. “You need more rest.” Wild shook his head. He wanted to stay here, away from the things he sees when he closes his eyes. It was nice here, the fog was finally parting and if he went to sleep it would surround him again.

“Yes, Wild.” Wild heard Warriors laugh at Twi’s exasperated tone.

“No.” Wild commanded, well aware of how much he sounded like a petulant child.

“Wild, we’ll be right here. You need sleep. Real sleep.” Wild shook his head again.

“I’d be careful. Mama bear is ready to knock you out.” Warriors teased, yelping when Twilight used his free arm to smack his shoulder.

“Wild, I swear to Hylia, you are going to sleep.” Twilight threatened. Wild huffed. Fine. Wild lifted a shaky and weak hand from under the pelt, pausing to rest the limb above the covers. Slowly he lifted his left hand, barely reaching his target. He swatted uselessly at Twilight’s chest, trying to find a grip. Finally he managed to snag onto the older’s tunic, just above his heart.

“What are you doing?” Twilight chuckled, all ire forgotten at the Cub’s clumsy actions. This would be the hard part. Wild prepped himself, before putting all his strength into his left arm and pulling himself up as far as possible. Even the simple motion of pulling himself up was like climbing a mountain, all his stamina depleted by the time he put his plan into action as his ribs jolted and burned. His world twisted and swirled as dizziness washed over him, his head feeling light and his eyes watering.

“Wild!” Twilight yelped in surprise, hopefully not waking the camp. Automatically his arms flew around Wild to catch the boy now cradled to his chest. “What the hell are you doing?” Twilight asked again, far more bafflement and scolding in his tone. Wild stubbornly shoved his head into the crook of Twilight’s neck, breathing hard. Nausea surrounded him and his aching muscles cramped and twitched. Twilight winced as Wild coughed directly into his throat. Good things this wasn’t contagious.

“You can’t do that! You can’t push your body like that!” Twilight scolded, his words contradicted his actions as he rubbed soothing circles into Wild’s back.

“I mean, you could have asked.” Warriors agreed, smirking at the scene before him now that Wild seemed to be recovering from his little stunt.

“Stay.” Wild demanded, gripping Twilight’s shirt as the other was cradled to his own chest uselessly. His body had no more energy left to spare and he relied completely on Twilight to keep him from falling.

“I’m right here.” Twilight’s exasperated tone morphed more into confusion. Twilight wasn’t getting it. He was warm. Wild was so cold, and he wanted to be warm. Even if that meant soaking up heat from Twilight like a lizard did on a sunny rock.

“Warm.” Wild’s lips twisted into a crooked smile, not aware enough to try and make both the scarred and unscarred sides of his face match. Warriors didn’t even hide his fond grin at the cheesy sight before him, and Twilight’s shocked face was certainly a bonus.

“Wild your fever.” Twilight chided nervously, attempting to gently get Wild away from his body heat. Even being in his lap was pushing it, Hyrule told him to be careful before he went to bed.

“Warm.” Wild huffed, annoyed at Twilight moving too much. Twilight glared at the muffled laugh he heard from Warriors. ‘Help me!’ Twilight mouthed, glaring at him as the other just shrugged and smirked. Jackass. Twilight supposed it would be okay for a little bit, but… just until Wild fell asleep. Besides, Twilight couldn’t bring himself to push Wild off with the dopey and lopsided the grin the younger had. Instead Twilight tucked the covers and pelt around him, knowing he made the right choice when Wild sighed happily and burrowed further. It was the most content he had seen Wild in days, and if Hyrule found out Twilight had disobeyed his instructions and kicked his ass, it’d be worth it.

“We can watch his fever. Let him have this.” Warriors confirmed the voice in his head, and Twilight relaxed at the fact someone else agreed, allowing himself to lean against the wall to better support Wild’s weight.

“Yeah, I don’t wanna move him.” Wild made a noise that Twilight could only interpret as agreement, and tried not to laugh and disturb the boy curled into him. 

“He can understand what we’re saying… that has to be progress, right?” Warriors questioned.

“Yeah, but at this point his fever breaking is the best we can hope for.” Twilight responded as he felt Wild succumb to sleep once more. Twilight didn’t want to admit how worried he was that his fever would never break. He knew that Wild would get better, really he did. But Hylia what Wild had said… what would Twilight do if he had the option. If Wild was dying in his arms and he had a choice. If he had a choice between Wild living with no memories, waking up with them all gone, probably long dead, alone and scared. Or letting Wild, his cub, die. Both options almost sent Twilight over the edge of despair just picturing it.

“Stop.” Warriors scolded, eyes peering into him. Twilight snapped out of his thoughts and glanced back in surprise. “I know what you’re dwelling on. Stop it. It won’t help anything.” Warriors’ tone was harsh, but his eyes were compassionate.

“I know but-”

“No buts. It won’t come to that.”

“You don’t know that.” Twilight’s voice cracked ever so slightly. Warriors sighed, of course he didn’t. Of course Twilight wasn’t the only one who thought at night about where this quest could lead.

“None of us do. But focusing on what-ifs, especially insanely specific ones, doesn’t help it just makes us all suffer. All of us, Twilight.” Warriors stressed, relieved at Twilight’s eyes widening, knowing he had gotten through. The words were harsh, but Twilight never listened when it was just his health on the line. He needed to know that watching him go through that hurt, just as it hurt them when one of the other Links were in a pit of anger and hurt.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Twilight squeezed Wild, needing to feel his heartbeat against his own. He focused on the breaths he felt against his neck. They were shallow and rough but they were there.

“Don’t be, I get it.” Warriors assured. “But let's face it if we think about everything that could happen on this crazy fucking quest we’ll be here for weeks.”

“Yeah…” Twilight shifted, ensuring Wild didn’t have too much pressure on his ribs.

“I’ll watch his fever, you need to rest.” Warriors commanded softly.

“You know that’s not happening.” Twilight glared.

“I didn’t ask you to sleep, I asked you to rest. You need it.” Warriors raised a challenging eyebrow, turning concerned when Twilight just nodded.

“Yeah… okay. Just make sure he doesn’t get too hot.” Twilight leaned his head against the rock, shushing Wild when he mumbled and huffed as his pillow moved. Warriors reached over and placed his hand on the cub’s forehead. 

“It’s fine for now.” Warriors smiled, happy the raging fever had dulled, even a little.

Both Warriors and Twilight quieted, and Twilight allowed himself to simply breathe as Warriors kept a sharp eye on the world around them.

 ~~~

Wild is on a mission and no one shall stop him.

Thank you all for reading! I'll update the summary when I rewrite a chapter so you all know.

And thank you all again so much for the support. I love every comment, and I’m so glad so many people enjoy this story!

[tothedarkdarkseas]

I wonder why people don't think of a vampire 2doc au, with Stu being the vampire.

I mean, come on now... He's the pale, tall, strange acting one... And Murdoc would be basically throwing himself into those fangs.

If Stu really didn't want to bite anyone, but Murdoc begged for it, how long do you think Stu could stand his ground for?

It is interesting how the 2doc fandom in particular really went through an "AU boom" wherein the tag and AO3 were both full of different fans presenting different AU ideas; it's not surprising that supernatural elements were pretty popular, but it's interesting to note just how often it was indeed Stuart who was the creature despite Murdoc being, er, maybe more immediately ghoulish. I have some theories about certain trends/patterns of years past, but it's a lot less relevant now and probably not worth getting into, haha. (Meaning I just spent too long getting into it and had to backtrack on the rambling.)

Anyway, vampires are the main exception to this it seems! I can definitely see the groundwork for a good story in either direction. As Jamie's recent artwork shows there's definitely something fun and campy about Nosferatu-style vamp Murdoc, but let's be honest, Stu certainly pulls off the romantic vampire better, if that's your thing. It's not even that he's particularly good at it, he's frankly laughable and Murdoc would rip the piss if he wasn't so desperately attracted to his dumb brooding eternal-prettyboy schtick. Stu looking like something genuinely ethereal and harrowing in the night but then crumpling up on himself at daybreak and going "bloody fuckin' hell, ah, sorry, I've gotta-- I've got a thing, yeah, cheers" and muttering "fuck off, fuck off" to the sun as he stumbles away and seems to grow gaunter and older by the second. Actually, just Stu still having his horrible mockney accent as a vampire, very good.

That's a good question, how long could Stu stand on his principles against drinking blood when Murdoc is so beyond willing? This conundrum is actually fairly unique to each pairing, I don't think it's the same problem or plot point when the roles reverse. In the reverse scenario, Stu may be deeply conflicted and resentful but, whether he openly acknowledges this or not, may not ultimately dislike being a vampire; he may find elements that cater to his ego and latent belief that he deserves the best without working for it, but he never asked for that. I think no matter how he revels in the perks there would always be contention in Murdoc making that decision for him and "ruining" him, in a mirror to their existing car crash conflict. But in this scenario, Murdoc has absolutely no reservations against leaving his life behind, against undoing everything that Murdoc Niccals was, and even against being literally or metaphorically under Stuart; it is a win-win-win and I'd imagine he'll fight tooth and nail to make it happen. Stuart already has a stronger sense of morality than Murdoc, but his frequent failure to follow through on difficult undertakings like veganism and generally wishy-washy attitude toward adopting spiritualism or ethical causes when it best suits him and as long as it suits him is also a defining characteristic, IMO. I think Stu would actually feel a truly compounding sense of ethical obligation and guilt once he's been cornered and shamed about feeding after his first few months of unchecked bloodlust... but I also think he's typically weak-willed, has poor impulse control when he's upset, and tends to act first and overthink after. Hard to say how long this would go on, but much like our timeline I think Murdoc would probably have more success blending the carnal enticement of blood with the animal-brained trigger to attack and shut Murdoc up.

My main question, though... do the fangs come in around the giant gap where his front teeth would be, or do the fangs replace his missing front teeth? Like...

Sorry for this.

[ayamari-no-goshi]

Eidolon 10 | (T)

ff.net | AO3

Fandom: Danny Phantom (DP)

Summary:  AU: What started off as the result of a simple act of rebellion ends up causing his life to spin out of control. How will young Danny cope with the results as well as a past that has a strange habit of coming back to haunt him.

Warnings: rated T for violence, mentions of death, kidnapping, and various other things

Parings: hints of Danny/Sam much later on

Notes: originally uploaded to Ff.net. Cross-posted to AO3 and tumblr

10. Aftermath

"So… What do you think he is?" Tucker asked her as they made their way to the kitchen to grab some lunch. It was about noon, and since Danny was still not awake -or showed any signs of waking, he had decided to put food on the top of his priority list. "Don't get me wrong. I'm thankful Danny went all glowy and beat that thing, but something that weird… And you got to admit, it was pretty weird…. Couldn't have come from a human."

"'Glowy'?" Sam asked while trying not to laugh. Oddly enough, it did help to lighten her bad mood brought on by exhaustion, fear, and paranoia. After Danny had somehow magically transported them back to her front yard and passed out, she and Tucker managed to sneak back into her house while carrying him and make it into her room undetected by her parents. Tiring as that and the chase from earlier was she was unable to convince herself they were safe and began constantly checking the window for any signs of the creature. Needless to say, by morning, she hadn't been able to fall asleep.

He just shrugged as he opened the large kitchen door and allowed Sam to pass through first. "I don't know what else to call it. I guess 'luminous' could work, but it doesn't really fit either."

"And 'glowy' does?"

"Probably not, but at least it's specific."

Though she would never admit it out loud, he did have a point. When Danny had taken a stand against the monster, ghost… whatever it actually was, it almost looked as if tendrils of greenish-white energy was wrapping around him. As it became more noticeable, it gave his body the illusion it was actually glowing. Even more startling was the change in his eyes and hair color. His eyes changed to a toxic shade of green which shouldn't exist in this world, and his hair had become a brilliant shade of white with a silvery sheen. After Danny had passed out, the white color seemed to seep out, leaving behind his naturally black hair after a couple minutes. Hopefully his eyes had returned to their natural color too.

"Anyway… what do you think we should take up to Danny?" By the time he spoke, Tucker had already started putting together a rather impressive lunch meat and mayo sandwich on one of the white marble counters. While Sam could not even look at the growing monstrosity, she was impressed by the knowledge he had of her kitchen. He had been over way too many times.

She thought for a moment as she searched one of the polished mahogany cabinets for some supplies of her own. "Well… probably bland foods like toast or rice would be best. Since he tends to get sick after anything weird happens to him, those are the only types of food that shouldn't cause any problems…"

"I didn't… even think about that…" he replied between chews, much to Sam's dismay. "Whatever that power… or weirdness is, it really seems to do a number on him."

"Yeah… and let's just hope it doesn't kill him in the process."

This particular episode had been particularly bad for Danny. Before carrying him into the house, she had checked his vital signs only to find no sign of life. His pulse was nonexistent, his breathing had ceased, and his body was freezing to the touch. Both of them had begun to panic and tried to remember what they could of CPR. Luckily for Tucker -what was it with guys and CPR? - Danny let out a shaky breath even before they got a chance to start.

Unsure what to make of the situation, they just stood there, dumbfounded, for a moment before deciding to take the seemingly unconscious and not dead boy into the house. If it was any other person, she would have called an ambulance without a second thought, but there was no way such strange events could be explained or probably even treated by a doctor. Besides, if he seemed fine now, it was unlikely a doctor would be able to do anything. Originally, they decided whoever woke up first would make sure Danny was still among the living, but with her being unable to sleep she checked on him regularly. His breathing and pulse seemingly remained steady, but his body, though a little warmer, still remained very cool to the touch; Combined with his naturally pale skin kept causing her to compare him to a cadaver.

An awkward tension filled the air for a moment while they made their lunches. Unnerved, Sam was about to say something, but a strange look from Tucker stopped her. "What's wrong?"

"Sam… this might sound weird, but what if that's the point? What if this power that's taken hold of him really is going to kill him?" he asked as he put his sandwich down and looked her in the eyes. "Didn't Danny say something before about how the ghost you two saw in the cemetery said that he didn't belong to this world? And didn't it also suggest he didn't have a lot of time left? And didn't that thing that chased us last night call him 'Ghost Child'…. I don't know about you, but it just seems like, if you think about it, everything's suggesting he's going to die."

"Tucker, how can you say something like that?" she snapped while trying to prevent any emotion, save for anger, from crossing her face. During her vigil, similar thoughts had crossed her mind, but she tried to completely ignore them. She had noticed Danny always seemed drained and weak after the power manifested, almost as if his 'energy or' life was its power source. It seemed quite possible it could kill him if it continued, but the cryptic hints they kept getting suggested maybe that was what the power needed.

No! She wasn't going to think like that! Nothing as horrible as that was going to happen to Danny. They were going to somehow figure out how to help him, and she didn't need such terrible thoughts floating around her mind. She cringed as she once again tried to suppress them. Having the idea be said aloud seemed to somehow confirm it, even with absolutely no proof. "Let's just focus on finishing so we can get back to Danny. I wonder if he's awake yet…"

"If you say so… but before we do that, can you please explain why your toaster's floating?"

Sam had to chuckle as she watched Tucker begin to panic and quickly put space between him and unassuming yet levitating toaster. Glancing at it to make sure it was actually plugged in and in use; she shrugged and moved over to retrieve its contents. "It's from Denmark. This usually happens."

"Wait… what?"

….

Surprisingly, when they returned to Sam's room, Danny was awake and sitting up on the deep purple bed. He looked terrible. His blue eyes were dull, and the dark rings under them attested to just how tired he really was. His body was also incredibly sore and stiff, but nothing more seemed to be wrong with him. Sam couldn't help but be relieved. As she watched him thankfully accept the tray of food, it seemed as if there would be no lasting problems from the night's events.

After finishing his light meal, Danny hesitantly asked what happened the previous night. Unsure where to start, she looked to Tucker for some help, and within a few minutes, the combined effort of the two got him up to speed. He accepted it silently, though Sam did notice he kept looking down at his hands. It was almost as if he was checking to make sure they still looked the same. It unnerved her slightly, but she tried to push it aside as she suggested a good break from all the weirdness would be a monster movie marathon. Both Danny and Tucker gave her looks suggesting they questioned her sanity, but after a few minutes of persuasion and a mention of the room sized television in the entertainment room, they happily changed their minds.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

It was official. The best way to recover from a mysterious paranormal fight was to sit and watch movies in Sam's gigantic theater. Not only did Danny get to relax in some of the most comfortable chairs he had ever encountered, but the ability to laugh with his friends as they poked fun at the terrible effects further alleviated the stress weighing down on him. Surprisingly, they were able to get through three movies without being interrupted.

After glancing at fancy clock hanging from the wall, he realized it was almost dinner time. "Hey, I should probably be getting home soon. Knowing Winston, he'll be getting worried."

"Do you think you're up to walking home?" Sam asked as she gave him an appraising glance. "You're welcome to stay another night."

A chuckle escaped him as he thought about her parents' reactions to the suggestion. Although he had only briefly met them, something told him the couple was already not too fond of him. "I think I can handle it." That was an obvious lie. His body still felt as if he had been put inside of an industrial dryer on spin mode, but how else was he going to get home? He didn't want to impose on Sam, Winston would start asking questions, and he certainly didn't have the money to call a taxi. "Besides, the walking might help with the stiffness."

"Or it could make it worse. Seriously dude, you should be taking it as easy as you can. Kicking some serious butt can be really tiring." Tucker's tone was playful and encouraging, but Danny knew he was trying to hide his own concerns about the strange event. Judging by how Sam and Tucker were acting when they entered the room after he woke up, the two most likely had a serious conversation about what happened. Though they tried to make him feel as if nothing was wrong, he could sense their worry.

He was about to start arguing but Sam quickly cut him off. "If you really think you should leave, at least I can do is to have my driver give you a ride home. I mean, you did save our lives."

"Thanks… but are you sure..? Wait, you have your own driver?" he asked, unsure if he had heard her correctly.

Sam fidgeted for a moment before answering. "Well, he's technically one of the drivers for my family, but I'm on better terms with him than my parents…. So, he's kinda unofficially mine."

"There's more than one…? Never mind." He cut himself off after a moment. "I don't want to know the specifics." The lives of the rich were hard to comprehend.

…..

After about a half an hour, the three of them were in the back of a stretch limo complete with its own mini bar stocked with several foreign drinks. Neither Sam nor Tucker actually needed to come, but they refused to let him go home alone. Danny just figured it was their way of showing concern. Though he didn't really need it, he didn't mind as their presence made the short ride more enjoyable.

When he arrived home, he was expecting a quite scene. Winston's silver Chevy would be sitting in the driveway, and while Winston himself would either be tending his modest garden or doing some paperwork in the study. But, instead of normalcy, chaos greeted him.

Yellow police tape had been placed around the perimeter of the yard and across the open front door. Several police cars were sitting, not only in front of the house, but also in his and the neighbor's driveway. A few officers were standing in the yard talking to each other while wearing serious expressions. Another was entering the house along with a couple people in white uniforms. Before the limo could even come to a stop, Danny jumped out of it and ran to the house, only to be stopped by some of the officers.

"I'm Danny, Winston's charge," he nearly shouted after one of the officers grabbed him while trying to explain he could not enter a crime scene. "What happened? Where's Winston? Does he know? Is he alright?"

"Wait, you're Wolf's kid?" another office asked as he approached. "We put out an alert saying you were missing. So you weren't in the house last night?"

"No, I…"

"Excuse me, Sir," Sam interrupted as she and Tucker ran over. "Danny was with us last night. He was staying over my house."

"He's not in trouble, is he?" There was a noticeable shiver within Tucker's voice, but he was doing his best not to show any other sign of nervousness. "Because we can totally vouch for him! We were with him for most of the day yesterday."

The officer held up his hand as a signal to let him talk. A trouble look crossed his face as he removed his hat and ran his free hand through his graying hair. After collecting himself, he held his hand out for Danny to shake. "I wish we could have met under friendlier circumstances, but I'm Sergeant Ross. We were called to your house after one of your neighbors called in some concerns about the safety of your dad. They thought they had heard gun shots last night but shrugged it off until they realized they never saw him leave the house today. We even received a confirmation from his work that he never arrived."

Danny bit his lip as he listened quietly. Winston almost never missed work, even if he was very sick. So, knowing that, something had to have gone seriously wrong, and Danny wasn't exactly sure if he was ready to find out what.

"I hate to say it, but it was a good thing we did decided to check on him," Ross continued as he looked him in the eye. "Your dad's currently in J. Marley Central Hospital and is being treated for several severe injuries from… what we think was a home invasion."

"No... That's impossible…" Danny stuttered after a few confused moments. "Winston's an ex-marine… He would have fought back. No one could have done that much damage…"

"Son, take it easy. This isn't the time for this…"

"You don't understand! Winston can take care of himself! There's a gun under his mattress for goodness' sake! He's always been prepared for something like this to happen! Some lame burglar couldn't have put him in the hospital!"

"Wait… did you say that Wolf owned a gun?" Ross asked carefully. "What kind was it?"

"I'm not exactly sure…. It's not like I saw it every day or anything," he replied gruffly as he tried to keep his feelings quelled long enough to try and answer the question. It wasn't like the officer had anything to do with Winston being hurt, but he certainly didn't want to be answering any questions. "I know it's some type of hand gun…. Maybe it's a .28… The box of bullets was sitting in the shelf on the study."

A concerned expression crossed the Sergeant's face as he called over to another officer. "Have any of the men found a firearm in or around the premises?" When the man shook his head, Ross' expression became grim. He then told the man to grab a couple of the other officers and search the area again, as well as finding a record of Winston's gun registration. After the other officer left, Ross turned back to Danny. "Well, I can't say I'm pleased by this new information… But I'm glad you mentioned it." He gave the boy a searching look before he spoke again. "I'm going to need to take you down to the precinct so you can give your official statement and maybe answer a few questions. Then we're going to need to go through your house and see if anything has been stolen."

"Wait… now?" Danny half demanded, half choked. "You're not going to let me see Winston first?"

"He's in the hospital…"

"You told me that, but you haven't told me anything else!" He had to fight to keep his voice and hands under control. Something in the back of his mind told him the officer would not appreciate it if he started waving his hands around while he was agitated. "Winston's all I have! I need to see for myself just how bad it is. I'll answer any question you have afterwards, but please, please let me see him first!"

"I can't let you do that."

"Why? Wait… I know what's going on… You think I did this." His eyes narrowed as he pointed at the officer. "I can't believe you! You're supposed to be trying to find whoever did this to Winston! Instead, you're wasting your time looking at me. I wasn't even home last night!" He took a breath to try and calm down for a moment as Tucker put his hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture. With each breath, he could feel himself shaking in rage. "If anything, you should be looking at that Masters guy…"

It was the officer's turn to be suspicious. "…You don't mean Vlad Masters, do you?"

"I think so… He and Winston don't seem to get along…"

"And don't forget! He's the one who snuck into your house that one day!" Tucker added as he gave a shudder. "That's the day we heard Mr. Wolf yelling. No offense dude, but he's really frightening when he's mad."

"Tell me about it…"

"Back up a minute," the officer interrupted while rubbing his eyes. "You're telling me, Vlad Masters broke into your house. What business does someone like him have in your house?"

Could this officer be any more irritating? Danny had to bite back a sarcastic reply as he answered the officer. "He said he was checking up on Winston since he had to reschedule a meeting… with I guess one of his assistants. According to him, our front door was open, and he went inside to make sure everything was okay." As the officer wrote down something on a little tablet that was pulled out of his pocket, Danny decided he had enough. "Look! I'll answer any of your questions later, but I'm not doing anything else until I get to see Winston!"

….

After a twenty minute standoff, Danny finally got his way. An irritated Sergeant Ross had escorted him to the hospital after finally realizing he wasn't going to get any answers. After the two stepped into the waiting area, he ran to the nearest available teller and practically demanded to know where Winston was being treated. After an agonizingly slow few minutes, he finally got an answer.

In retrospect, running as fast as he could through the halls was probably one of the worst things he could do in the hospital, but he really didn't care. He easily managed to avoid any obstacle he encountered. Who knew there would be so many movable computers, monitors, and people in those maze-like hallways? When he finally reached Winston's room, he was met with a wall of people. Several doctors all wearing dark expressions seemed to be deep in discussion as they blocked the only door into the room.

Unsure how to interrupt the doctors, he was happy to realize Winston's room had a window. Peeking in, he felt his breath hitch as he realized just how serious the attack on his guardian had been. Winston was unconscious and hooked up to a respirator. Several monitors were hooked up to the man, and two IV bags, one of blood and one of clear fluid, were also put in place. What little bit of skin was not covered by bandage or machine looked bruised and swollen. The overall image made Winston look like he was fragile enough to break if he was touched. Danny had to try and hold back tears as he wondered who could have done such a thing.

"How the hell did you get here so fast?" an out of breath voice asked from somewhere behind him making him jump. He turned around to see a rather winded Sergeant Ross giving him a searching look. "I couldn't go more than a few feet without out running into something."

Danny didn't say anything as he turned back towards the window. He didn't want to have Winston out of his sight for more than a few minutes. He just had this feeling something terrible would happen if he did.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but are you part of Winston's family?" A person wearing a white coat came into the periphery of his vision. Curious, he turned to see a young female doctor extending her hand to him. "I'm Dr. Sabo, and I'm currently in charge of managing him while he's here."

He hesitantly took her hand and explained who he was. "How… how is he?" Even he could hear the unease in his voice.

"That's the big question, isn't it?" Dr. Sabo frowned as she looked towards the window. "I hate to say it, but it's hard to tell at this point. Winston received several odd wounds from the attack."

"Odd…? How so?" the sergeant asked, surprising both Danny and the doctor.

She bit her lip as she tried to find the words to describe her thoughts. "It's the first time any of us have seen wounds like that. They almost seem to be large bullet wounds, but the edges of them act more like burns. And, to make matters worse, we were unable to locate any residual bullets there might have been. We're really at a loss for what happened to him."

"Will he be able to answer any questions?"

"I'm not sure. Winston, although stable, is in a terrible condition. He's going to have to be watched very carefully over the next several days. We're going to do our best to see that he heals, but it will be up to his body to make sure he recovers. From what I can see of him, he appears to be in very good shape for his age, so we're hopeful… but, you can never tell."

The world started to spin as Danny listened to the doctor go into more details about Winston's condition with the sergeant. He allowed himself to slide down the wall and sit as he tried to get some sort of grasp on the situation. He never thought he would be in this situation. He had once joked that Winston was too strong to ever be taken down by anything other than a renegade bus, but this had shown him Winston was human, just like everyone else.

Danny couldn't take it anymore. In an uncharacteristic moment of weakness, he buried his face in his hands and allowed the tears to come. It was a small comfort, but if he was going to have to deal with the police over the next several hours, he was going to need to be as strong as possible.

=======================================

Anyways, a couple things:

J. Marley Central Hospital is not a real place… at least I think so. I named it to keep in line with the ghost theme of the show. Jacob Marley was the first ghost who appeared to Ebenezer Scrooge in Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol.

Dr. Sabo and Sergeant Ross aren't all that important. They're really only there for this section.

And, can I just say that hospitals are the most confusing things on earth? Cuz, they are. There are at least fifteen hospitals within an hour and a half of my house, and all of them are mazes. The floor plans are ridiculous. You can't walk through them without encountering workers, movable computers and/or other medical devices, and let's not forget the robots. Don't ask about that last one. It is really funny to see them having a Mexican standoff though.

[alexhogh7137]

The Battle Between Love and Fire-

Ivar the Boneless × Reader

Chapter Thirteen: Pleasure

Chapter Twelve is here...

Word Count 1k

Warnings: smut, fluff

Your wedding day went more perfect than you could have ever imagined. Ubbe and Torvi were so supportive and Hvitserk got drunk by the end of the celebration. When it was all over, you and Ivar went to bed.

Ivar "How does it feel to be married to a Viking, princess?"

You giggle, "It feels so good." He growls and joins you in bed. You lean in to kiss him and of course he kisses you back. 

Ivar pulls back, "I want to see you." You can feel yourself get wet for him and he has barely even touched you yet, but to hear him ask for you is enough. You get off of the bed and take off your nightdress and he admires your body with his mouth ajar. 

Ivar "Absolutely perfect." You get back on the bed and he moves you so that he hovers over you. His hands roam around your body, when he stops by your hips, he grabs tightly. Making your breath hitch and you moan.

Ivar "You want me, don't you?"

"Y-yes, Ivar. I want you, only you."

Ivar "But I can't-"

"There are other ways to please a woman, my love. Do you not see the hold on me that you have?"

Ivar "Yes."

"Than stop thinking that you don't please me, or that you can't please me. Touch me." You move his hand so that he can feel you. Once he does, his breath hitches. 

Ivar "Gods you drive me crazy." You can't respond before Ivar crashes his lips to your aggressively. He works his hand on your clit, making you weaker by the second. His lips trail down your body: your neck, collarbones, breasts and stomach. When he lowers himself low enough, he growls seductively at the sight of you.

Ivar "So beautiful!"

You moan and move your hips to get some friction until he holds your legs down so that you cannot move.

Ivar "I know what you want, my love. Let me please you the way you want." Your head falls back onto the pillow, waiting for his mouth to touch you. Once he does, your fingers clamp onto the sheets below your body. His mouth feels beyond extraordinary. 

"I thought that you didn't know how to please a woman?" You whispered. 

He chuckles around you, "I guess I lied."

He adds a finger in you, making you reach your climax in seconds. When you calm down, Ivar comes up and hovers over you again. Kissing you until your body stops shaking. 

Ivar "How did that feel, princess?"

"So good."

Ivar "Good. I am glad that I could please my wife."

"You always please me, Ivar. You could just be looking at me and I go crazy…"

Ivar chuckles, "I love you so much, Y/n. I hope you never forget that."

"I won't, how could I when I love you just as much?" He doesn't respond, only kisses you. When he moves off of you, you immediately cling to his side and he sighs from the feeling. 

Ivar "What a way to end out wedding night, huh my sweet?"

"Mhm.. thank you."

Ivar "No need to thank me, princess. It was my pleasure."

_____________________________________

The next couple of days were slow and uneventful. You and Ivar spent a lot of quality time together and with your dragon's. They have gotten much bigger over the next month or so. Ryuu is definitely the biggest out of his siblings, and Ivar's personal favorite. 

Today, you are outside tending to your dragon's while Ivar has a meeting with his people. Hvitserk joins you shortly.

Hvitserk "Hey."

"Hey!"

Hvitserk "They've gotten so big. How much bigger will they grow?"

"I am not certain, but fairly large. Large enough to be able to ride them."

Hvitserk "You will fly with them?"

You laugh, "Oh yes."

Hvitserk "Well you can go much faster than you would by horseback."

"That is true. How have you been? You've been kind of distant."

Hvitserk "Yes, I am sorry. I just wanted to give you and Ivar space for the last couple of days. I thought that it was appropriate given our pact with you."

You nod, "Oh right. That pact."

Hvitserk "Yeah, speaking of..did he satisfy you on your wedding night?"

"Oh he certainly did."

Hvitserk "Good, kitten. I am glad."

"Why do you ask?"

Hvitserk "Because if he didn't, I would."

"Oh I get it. So you came out here to see if I 'wanted' you."

Hvitserk "No not exactly."

"Look, I am not mad at you. I understand that you want to please me because Ivar cannot in that way, but Ivar is no less of a man. He does please me."

Hvitserk "I know, Y/n. I didn't mean to upset you." He starts to walk away but you stop him.

"You don't have to go, Hvitserk. I enjoy your company."

Hvitserk "I enjoy yours as well, Y/n. You mean a lot to me. But it is okay, you do not have to love me."

You are taken aback by what he said and your heart starts to break, "I do love you, Hvitserk."

Hvitserk smiles and then walks away. You do not know how to feel about that conversation, but all you know is that you do not owe him an apology. He shouldn't have come at you like that, asking you if you wanted sex. At the same time, you know that he did not mean for it to come off so abrasively. You know that he will be the one to help you get pregnant with your child. But you wish thag it didn't have to be that way. You wish that Ivar could truly be the father of your child but that simply can not be. You take a deep breath and pet Neith for comfort. 

"I almost don't want to be shared, no longer, my girl. But it is the only way for me to become a mother..what should I do?" She looks at you and her eyes tell you, when you are finally with child you no longer have to be shared.

@hvitserkmarcosource @youbloodymadgenius @a-mess-of-fandoms @ivarsgoddess @ivarzeitgeist @more-stuf-f @heavenly1994 @kaitieskidmore1 @herestherealproblem @saldelys

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

So that's a hot take cause i see so many saying Taylor didn't grow up wealthy, that a christmas tree farm in Pennsylvania is commom. But i think people just like to victmize their idols, i think she was secured, i think she was very well with money, she would have to work obvsly but like she wouldn't have to worry abt how to pay for college yk what i mean. She wouldn't have to work 3 jobs ever in her life.

To be honest, I feel like the attitude towards Taylor coming from a well off family being knocked back by the fandom comes down to them holding onto that “magical encounter where the guy fixing my fridge taught me guitar” story (which from memory was debunked/unskewered, yes he fixed the fridge but he claims Andrea and Scott payed him to teach Taylor before they started as opposed to it being a random encounter if I’m remembering correctly) and them having the false belief that us saying that Taylor has wealthy parents is the same as us calling her less talented than her peers from more humble beginnings and getting defensive at that. Like let me make it clear that anyone saying Taylor grew up well off financially is literally just saying that she’d had less hurdles to jump through than had she been poorer in the same way it is still unfortunately the case that her being white means she had less hurdles to jump through than her peers of colour. It’s got nothing to do with talent past her getting a better shot at hers being noticed. That’s it.

But yeah, I definitely agree with you and feel like this fandom does not take into consideration just how much having that money helped. Like I’ve seen people try to act like poor people move across the country for their dreams all the time, which even if they did, does not change that it would be way harder for them because they’d have to work at the same time so couldn’t attend as many meetings to get a foot in the door. Likewise, I know my family never could have done it because even though we were in cheaper government housing, the waitlist to move to another state and get government housing is years and even if we said fuck it we’d live out of a car if that’s what it took (which we couldn’t because we didn’t own a car but still), our government benefits would be cut off because in Australia you need a solid address to receive them. My brother and I would also have obviously lost our jobs which was helping to pay for bills/food with no guarantee we’d get another one. And that’s just the everyday poor considerations. We also had someone with epilepsy in our family, so giving up those government benefits? That would cost us at least $600AUD a month that we just did not have. So yeah, while maybe a few poor people have moved to chase their dreams and even fewer have achieved them, it certainly isn’t common and does not change that Taylor and other peers from well off families did not have to jump through the same hurdles.

Again, none of this is saying that Taylor is untalented. I truly believe she is the best mainstream lyricist of our generation and one of the best overall. I’m just saying that had her situation been different, maybe we never would have known that because she never would have made it and maybe there are others like her that we don’t know about for the same reason.

[sailorportia]

Flirting with Disaster

Fandom: Little Witch Academia Pairing: Hannah England x Amanda O’Neill

Femslash February 2019 [Index post] Day 7: Disaster

approx. 1400 words, rated T

also available on Ao3

In which a much-enamored Hannah is forced to work on a project with Amanda, and things go as well for her as you might imagine.

"This is a complete and utter disaster," Hannah groaned.

"Why does it have to be both?' Barbara asked. "Why can't it be just a complete disaster? Or an utter disaster? It doesn't seem bad enough to be both."

"Just because you're my favourite bookworm doesn't mean I'll let you play with my words like that. Don't pretend you don't want to see me flailing in front of Amanda."

Barbara giggled. "Alright then, I won't pretend."

Hannah's day had gone from bad to worse. The morning started as every morning did, with Hannah worrying about how she'd deal with her growing feelings for Amanda fucking O'Neill. She didn't want to have feelings for someone as wild and unpredictable as the rambunctious American, but her heart didn't get the memo—it pounded against her chest like a jackhammer whenever Amanda was around. Her situation certainly wasn't helped by the way Amanda messed with her on a daily basis.

That day, right after lunch, Amanda ambushed Hannah with a potion that stuck her shoes to the floor. Amanda also happened to be close enough that she was stuck as well. It took Barbara so long to unstick them that they were late for class. Finnelan was none too please; her punishment was to force the three of them to work together on a project. The Inquisition couldn't have devised a more fitting punishment for the young witches.

"This is the worst," Hannah said. "We wouldn't be in this situation if Amanda weren't so obsessed with annoying me."

"Maybe she's like a twelve year-old boy and this her way of showing she has a crush on you," Barbara suggested.

"I remember twelve year-old boys' crushes and they were never as annoying as this."

"Maybe because this is the first time you felt the same, and you wish your crush was sweeter on you."

Hannah rolled her eyes. She wouldn't survive the afternoon if she had to deal with Barbara's teasing as well as Amanda's harassment. Resigned to her fate, Hannah followed Barbara to the library, where they'd agreed to meet Amanda.

They found the American lounging in the corner of the library, leaning back in her chair with her feet on the table. Hannah cursed herself for ogling Amanda's legs, but fortunately they distracted her from the unseemly up skirt view her crush was offering.

"Hey Hannah, Barbara. Took you long enough," Amanda said. "Let's get this over with. I'd rather not be seen hanging around with you dorks."

Hannah took the seat next to Amanda. And then realized what she'd done and threw out a rude remark to compensate. "This is your fault in the first place, jackass. If you didn't want to be seen with us, you shouldn't have stuck us together with our stupid potion!"

Before Amanda could retort, Barbara interjected, "These genealogies aren't going to write themselves out."

"What kind of boring project is this anyway?" Amanda groaned. "Every witch knows about every other witches family. Way too much." Well, except for Akko, but she was the exception more often than the rule.

Hannah sighed. "Why does it not surprise me that you have no respect for your own magical heritage?"

"I don't have any problem with my dead ancestors," Amanda grumbled. "It's the live ones who make me hate magic."

Hannah averted her eyes. "I didn't say anything about needing to like your family..."

"O-kay," Barbara said sternly. "Let's hit the books before this turns into group therapy."

Hannah and Amanda stood up and went to the bookshelves to find genealogy books. They went to the same shelf. And reached for the same book. Their hands touched.

"W-watch what you're doing!" Hannah drew her hand back as if it were scalded.

"Right back atcha, England," Amanda fired back. She practically danced away from the shelf.

"Oh, I'm back to England now?" Hannah hated that she kept track of how Amanda referred to her. She'd been "Hannah" for ages—occasionally a mean nickname—and her heart fell at the sudden return to formality.

"I can call you whatever I want." Amanda stood awkwardly nearby. "Just... hand me some books and I'll carry them over to the table."

"Whatever." Hannah didn't want to over-analyze Amanda's actions. After all, Barbara would do it for her later. 12 year-old boy with a crush, my ass.

Hannah and Amanda returned to the table each with a stack of books. The three of them went to work,

As much as Hannah hated to admit it, Amanda was right; the assignment was boring. But she would never admit it. Amanda would never let her forget it.

Five minutes later...

"Ugh, this is so boring!" Hannah slammed her book shut. "If I read the name 'England' again today, I'm going to leave the country."

"I think that happened somewhere on my family tree." Amanda squinted at her assignment. "Yeah, between the Ireland stuff and the America stuff there's a lot of hate for England."

"Swell." Hannah didn't even try to hide her bitterness.

Amanda blushed. "I didn't—not like you England, like the country." She hid behind her family tree.

"Give me those." Barbara grabbed Hannah and Amanda's family trees. She looked them over and slid them back across the table. "You've both got enough to keep Finnelan happy. No need for leaving the country today."

"Thank the nine," Amanda said.

"That I won't be leaving the country?" Hannah asked a little too hopefully.

Amanda laughed nervously. "Um, uh, no. I meant that we're done. I'm tired of looking at my stupid, old family."

"You shouldn't talk about your family that way," Hannah said mildly.

"Why not? They're a bunch of human trash heaps."

"Yeah, but you shouldn't say it." As Barbara had said, they didn't need to turn this into group therapy, but Hannah had a feeling they had similar problems when it came to the families they were lucky enough not to be around.

"Well, the great thing about families is you can always get a new one," Barbara said, pointing to her left ring finger.

"Marriage?" Amanda scoffed. "Gay."

"Scoff all you like, but it looks like there's two family trees tangling as we speak." Barbara pointed at the two assignments lying on Hannah and Amanda's side of the table, one laid over the other like lovers' hands.

"Urk!" Hannah blushed furiously, and reprimanded her best friend even more furiously. "Don't even joke about that! There's no way I could—that I would ever—"

"I-I-I would never marry Hannah!" Amanda spluttered. "Who wants to be an England!?"

Barbara spotted weakness and went straight for the jugular. "Oh, so you'd be taking her name then?"

Hannah looked at Amanda in surprise; Amanda reeled back so fast she damn near fell out of her chair. "I-I-I'm not going to marry anyone!

Barbara wasn't done with her prey just yet. She shook her jaws to snap the neck. "I don't approve of my best friend's suitor planning to live in sin with her."

"I, uh, no—" Amanda ran her hand through her hair in a frazzled sort of way. "Who said anything about me and Hannah? It's not like I like her or anything."

Barbara smirked at Hannah. Her eyes conveyed a silent "I told you so."

Knowing full well that she would regret it, Hannah pick up her pen again and held it over their family trees. "Should we attach our family trees and draw a line between them then? Ooh, what if we added some kids? Did you have any names in mind? Maybe some Irish names to honour that O'Neill heritage. Would it be perverse to give Irish names to an England?"

Amanda seemed to dissolve on the spot. Face red with both rage and embarrassment, she snatched her family tree away and tried to storm off. As it were, she tripped over her agile dancer's feet and careened into a stack of books. She was out of the library before anyone could yell at her to pick them up.

"I'm impressed, Hannah," Barbara said. "Teasing your crush? Soon you'll be wooing her."

Hannah barely heard her; her head was against the desk, buried in her arms. Her burning ears betrayed her embarrassment. "Shut up."

"And here you thought this was going to be a disaster." Barbara smirked. "What you got was a disaster lesbian. Well, you don't 'got' her yet, but you'll put a ring on it someday."

"I sure hope so. I already added her to my family tree." In pen. For the sake of a joke. She hoped Diana knew a great erasing spell.

[ihatekujojotaro]

how are you guys jerking off about how sadao isn't a bad dad but say jotaro is a bad dad as well. are you the same weirdos who sob over how good of a jojo joseph is when he cheated on his wife and didn't raise josuke for 16 years but you condemn jotaro constantly. sadao is apparently perfect now because he was in the entertainment industry uwu and that means holly raising jotaro by herself was okay uwu and didn't have an effect on her and jotaro uwu lisa lisa did the same thing to joseph too xD!

this is long but under the cut

consider this: sadao is so incredibly irrelevant to the series that even his name isn’t even brought up. and in terms of joseph, he was not a good father in any regard because he still betrayed the trust of his family and cheated on his wife.

moving back.. there is a complete possibility in fanon analysis that yes, sadao was a bad dad. the fact is that his relevance to jotaro in itself was NEVER mentioned or made into a critical point of his character, and people blow it up to the point that they use it to defend jotaro’s own actions in neglecting his daughter, a key aspect of the story. in shonen, fathers are honestly commonly removed from the story aspect (heck, even mothers at times) because driving force/emotional turmoil is easier to convey without the mentor figure that is typically represented in the shape and form of a father in manga. SDC simply couldnt have happened should jotaro’s father have been in the picture and travelled w/ him, and theres a reason why he wasnt included in order not to take the forefront in the search for DIO and neglect jotaro’s importance as the main character.

from an authorial standpoint, this literally… isnt a setup of real people, its a work of fiction that relies on archetypes and cast, and a message or meaning conveyable by what it entails. was sadao made into a point by the author whatsoever in sdc? you watched the series, he wasn’t. in stone ocean, was jotaro made into a point by the author that jolyne was neglected and hurt by his behaviour? yeah. and who are you focusing on?

for joseph, no, he was a shit husband for cheating. that’s inexcusable. the only reason why anything else can be said about him is that when he came to morioh, he respected josuke’s boundaries as well as the barriers he set up in terms of joseph’s interaction with tomoko, rightfully so, and joseph respected them. it took him FAR TOO LONG to make amends with his son who had to grow up without a father, but he did it.

should the ending of stone ocean not have happened, i don’t have a doubt in my mind that araki would’ve tried to mend the relationship between jolyne and jotaro. but did it happen? no. that’s why it’s a different situation from joseph’s own. it’s not the character’s fault, but rather the fault of the setup the author created. so why does the fanbase pretend that this setup is switched up, jotaro is a wonderful father and DID make amends to jolyne when he didn’t? because he fucking didn’t. and the truth is, perhaps araki would make them make amends, but even that isn’t enough to fix it, just like joseph respecting josuke’s boundaries isn’t enough to fix his actions. for joseph and josuke, that is made a POINT. it simply ISN’T enough. for jolyne and jotaro, not so much.

also. after i went on this long-ass tangent, let me ask you: when did we ever say that sadao was a good dad. we simply said that it was never implied he was good or bad, and people like to pretend he was most certainly horrible to further their own woobifying of jot’s char. in fact, when was sadao even relevant in the story let alone a key aspect through authorial framing to jotaro’s character. here’s a hint anon: he never was. and i’m tired of the fandom pretending otherwise to excuse the shitty actions of a character that may be likeable, but has a fanbase that constantly defends these very actions under the guise of pulling characterizations out of thin air.

that’s it. this got long, and honestly, in case there’s any misunderstanding, i’m fine if you like jotaro. that’s okay. but if you bring sadao into this, a pretty nonexistent character whose ‘effect’ on jotaro is 100% fanon, to defend jotaro’s actions towards jolyne, a fully relevant part of the story meant to create a statement about a real issue plaguing asian countries, you need to re-assess everything. that’s all i’m saying. 

[alexhogh7137]

The Battle Between Love and Fire-

Ivar the Boneless × Reader

Chapter Thirty-One: Showing

Requested by @a-mess-of-fandoms

Chapter Thirty

Word Count 1.7k

Warnings: fluff, slight angst

In two weeks time, you will officially reach your second trimester with this little miracle of yours. Your belly is fairly small but it slowly grows bigger each day that follows. Hvitserk said last night that he thinks that you are getting pretty big but you just do not feel big. Ivar said the same thing to you this morning which is making you excited for the weeks to come. You know that the siege is getting closer and closer but you no longer have fear in your gut. Now, you just feel power and the need to fulfill this mission. Not only for you and your unborn child, but for the people of Wessex, for your friend and for your mother. You can feel that she is proud of you. You can feel her warmth and you can see her smiling down at you. She has to be so proud. Ivar certainly is. He has been bragging to the people of Kattegat about how strong their queen is. He did not tell them about the weapons of course. He only complimented you on how brave and courageous you have been since day one.

Today, you are going to help the boys and your people do the finishing touches in the village and then the rest of the day should be peaceful. Hvitserk handled sending the news to Rollo: you all had to retrieve deadly weapons from Wessex. Therefore, the siege is pushed from being 5 days away, to being 12 days away. Since Rollo is traveling from France to Scandinavia, it will take him 5 days to even arrive here in Kattegat let alone traveling to Wessex which will take him and his men 10 days. You are sort of relieved to have more time to be at home and to have some sort of a relaxing period before you have to try to overthrow your father. 

The husband of the woman that stabbed you and almost caused your total demise, has been helping you for the past hour or so. 

"How have you been, my queen?" He asked.

"I have been alright, and you?"

"Stressed. I worry for you and the king's safety in Wessex." He said, putting down a piece of wood into the snowy gravel.

"You do not need to fear. You and your family will be safe here." He looks at his cabin and sees his two children sitting down by the front door.

"I understand that Y/n, but you are still my queen. I support you as such. And I do not wish for you to get hurt more than you already have." He said, gazing at your chest. You notice that your gray cloak has been opened slightly from the wind so you quickly cover yourself.

"That was not your doing-"

"Yes but it was my wife's doing. Therefore I take responsibility for her actions now that she is no longer here. I can't apologize enough, my queen. I wish that I was there to stop her but I was at home with the kids-"

"I know, I know. No need to apologize but I accept it anyway. Your wife was a troubled woman with hatred in her heart. Unfortunately, she acted on that hatred."

He nods in agreement, "Yes," he picks up more wood, "I must say, you look good for being deceased for a few moments." 

You chuckle, "Thank you, I suppose."

"I also have to point out that you are glowing."

"Glowing?"

He points at your belly, "You have gotten bigger!"

"Oh!" You giggle, placing your hand over it.

"I have come to realize that I have not congratulated you and Ivar..congratulations." he said with the most genuine smile.

"Thank you kindly." You halt when you feel a pair of hands wrap around your waist.

Ivar "What are we talking about here, huh?"

"I was congratulating Y/n..she has grown quite a bit!"

Ivar "Ah yes, well we thank you."

"Of course."

Ivar "My love, can I have a moment?" You nod and he takes you behind a cabin. "Did he touch you?"

"What..no!"

Ivar "What all did he say to you?"

"He apologized for his wife's actions. Then, he said that he is worried for our safety when we travel to Wessex. And then he congratulated me."

Ivar sighs, "I apologize for being blunt but I do not trust him, my love." He said, pulling you into his chest so that he could kiss your forehead.

"I can tell Ivar. But he has shown his loyalty to the both of us. He is not his wife."

Ivar nods "Alright princess. Go on and take a break, huh?"

"Okay, I will be with my dragon's if you need me."

Ivar "Good, I love you sweetheart."

"I love you more."

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Greeting your babies is always the most adorable part. You walk up to them and hold you your hand for them to place their snouts in. When they engulf your smell, their eyes start to glow and their energy radiates off of the love that they have for you. 

"Hey buddy." Ryuu places his snout to your hand and then he gets excited like always. "Are your bellies full?" You say to the three of them. Before you came over, they were all about to take their nap of the day after feasting on large animals. 

"Neith, baby...come say hi!" She walks over to you but instead of sniffing your hand, she sniffs your belly. She goes to the extreme of rubbing her whole face over your stomach. You take this opportunity to rub her enormous face in adoration. "Oh you spotted the belly too, huh?" She squeaks and pushes so hard against you that you lose your balance and fall down. It did not hurt but Hvitserk noticed you on the ground and Neith hovering over you and his instincts kicked in. 

He ran over, too fast. Alerting the dragons to protect their mother. They tensed up, getting ready to attack but you luckily hollar in enough time before Hvitserk was killed. He looks up at them in pure terror.

"He's not a threat! It's Hvitserk, you know him! It's okay!" They look at him and then down at you. Eventually backing away from Hvitserk. He looks down at you and then picks you off of the ground.

Hvitserk "You okay? I saw her push you and I panicked." Neith tries to put herself in between you and Hvitserk, while Eldr and Ryuu circle around so that no one else can touch you.

"I am perfectly fine. She noticed how much I have grown..she got excited."

Hvitserk "Oh alright. Thank you for saving me just then." He chuckled.

"Oh yeah, anytime!" You both laugh.

Hvitserk "My life flashed before my eyes.."

"I wouldn't have let them harm you, Hvitserk. They just thought that you were going to harm me, so they got protective."

Hvitserk "Nonetheless I am glad that they protect you."

"Me too." Hvitserk lets you go and walks closer to your dragons and raises his hand up for them to sniff him, which they do.

Hvitserk "There..you see. I mean no harm to your mother. She is carrying my daughter, I love her just as much you three do." Neith's eyes gloss over as if she was about to cry. Ryuu and Eldr relax a ton and then end up lying down for their nap. Ivar joins you and Hvitserk and takes your hand.

Ivar "What has happened? I heard you yelling!"

"Hvitserk saw me lose my balance and came running...Ryuu got protective. Everything is fine now."

Ivar snickers "Oh okay..what is wrong with you, huh...dear brother?"

Hvitserk scoffs, "I thought that something was going on and the dragons changed...I didn't want them to hurt her. If you saw it how I did, you would've done the same thing, Ivar."

Ivar "You are right." He wraps his arms around your belly and Eldr takes notice. He tenses back up and gets close to Ivar. You put yourself in between him and Ivar and you place your hand on his snout.

"He is not hurting the baby, Eldr. He is just holding me...calm down boy." He huffs and lays back down. 

Ivar looks at you, concerned "What is wrong with them? They know us."

"They see my belly. They are protecting their mother."

Hvitserk leans down and kisses your cheek,  "How sweet." He walks back to the village and continues to work. You lean into Ivar and he smiles down at his beautiful wife.

"What?"

Ivar "I can just see why your dragons are so protective." He places his hand on your belly.

"I know.."

Ivar "You are not happy?"

"Of course I am, my love! I am just going to be even more happy when I reach my next trimester."

Ivar "Oh yeah?"

"Mhm." He leans down and kisses your lips. 

Ivar "Let's go inside and get warm." You walk hand in hand, back inside your home.

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When you go inside, Ivar takes you to yours and his chambers. When he closes the door, you sit down on the bed. 

Ivar snickers, "You wish for me to join you, princess?"

"Is that really a question that you are asking me?"

Ivar "No, I suppose not." He says as he walks over to you, ducks down and kisses your lips. Your eyes flutter closed once his lips come into contact with yours. The hold he has on you, you feel like it will never go away. The way he makes you feel, it is as if your head is above the clouds. 

Ivar "How about we spend the remainder of the day in here, hmm?"

"Ivar, it is only 2 in the afternoon.."

Ivar "And?" He says kissing you again.

"And nothing.."

Ivar "That is what I thought, princess." His hands slowly start to undress you and you do the same. Needless to say, the remainder of the day was filled with absolute pleasure. Today was eventful but in a different type of way and there was a lesson learned: don't get too close to the mother of dragon's.

This was so much fun to write! Thank you @a-mess-of-fandoms for requesting it! If any of you would like to request a chapter, feel free to message me or send me your request in my inbox!

@hvitserkmarcosource @youbloodymadgenius @heavenly1927 @saldelys @ivarsgoddess @readsalot73 @ivarzeitgeist @herestherealproblem