#Buying booze online

[chadwick211]

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Best Whiskey Gifts

Consider one of these best whiskey gifts from Sendgifts if you’re finding it difficult for the perfect whiskey gift for someone on your list.

[wilberave]

too much soju posting on the dash made me thirsty but there’s no liquor stores in my ye olde town so i looked online and uhhh

$25???? only $25????? everything about this beverage is Dangerous

[boozehouse]

A guide for a better cocktail ?

speaking that red wines are made from grapes such as Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon, etc, and white wines are made from grapes Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, etc. the fact is that nearly all wines we find in the marketplace were originally made from one species of grape called Vitis vinifera From the ingredient to the outcome the procedure of each wine is different.

Wine is just too fascinating and diverse to be limited to enjoying on its own. Use your current bottle of red, white, rosé, or sparkling wine to create tempting wine cocktails. Depending on the season or circumstance, these drink ideas give an exciting taste of wine’s versatility, ranging from traditional cocktails to creative cocktail recipes with novel flavor pairings to tropical sangrias for a party. Here are some of the best cocktail recipes

Bishop cocktail: A bottle of red wine that falls short of your expectations shouldn’t be wasted. Make a bishop drink instead. This 1930s recipe transforms red wine into a simple sangria mix by simply adding rum, simple syrup, and lime juice. and your cocktail is ready.

Berry wine slushies: Berry wine slushies are enjoyable to mix and match the ingredients in because beautiful things happen when wine and fruit are combined. Create your ideal frozen drink for sweltering summer days by experimenting with different pairings of blackberries, raspberries, strawberries, and several types of wine.

Brazilian sangria: The flavor of the single-serving Brazilian sangria is unmatched by anything else. With the spirit-filled foundation of white rum, Spanish brandy, and — to make it truly exciting, choose whatever seasonal fruits you prefer to mix. After it’s finished, top off your drink with a red wine float, then relax and sip your creation.

French pear martini: The French pear martini is best made with Champagne. Its delicate floral and fruit tastes make it an excellent evening or easter beverage, especially when paired with light cuisine. You’ll enjoy how simple it is to make this three-ingredient drink and find the tasting combination of elderflower and pear interesting.

Here are the many possibilities you can make your wine and party exciting and wonderful all at once. Visit the Boozehouze for best Booze for cocktails

[pjackk]

Yep another miesrable "F my life" moment just hapened to me i basicaly walked 10 miles up the mountain to get to behind to the gas station to see my plug to buy me my with my favorite delta 8 pipe rocks and grab another 6er of tall boy steelies and i forgot i had my lit pre roll from brunch at the Country Grocerys buffet and i tripped on a congom on they away out and fell directly into a puddle of oil which normaly is fine when i fall and hurt myself ebcause nobody gives a fuck about me but the pants got stained wich is not unusual for me either but this time with motor guel or some shit but my pre roll was smoldering still and it set my ptants on fire so i dive in to the muddy ditch to put wet mut on my body to estinguish the fire and it and it shook the fuck up out of my steelos and the bursted all over me and it put out the fire but now i dont have any booze at all and my delta 7 "Fuck n chill" rocks burned tf up and i dont got nothgin left and my pants were all fucked up so i had to go home thru the woods wihtout them and it was so dark out and my peice of shit phone died even thouhg it was at 27% and i couldnt see shit and i was lost for along time so i decide to go to sleep in the woods to find my way back in day time + the animals sounds were high key scary as fuck so i cover myself in leafs and dirt and sticks and mud and other shit to hide from them and i woke up in the adfternoon still tired as fuck cuz i dont sleep good without some shit to put me asleep like my medicidne prescribed from Dr Maltlikker if U catch my drift lol or Dr thc Gummy lol if u get what im saying and these stupid little cunts with 22 rifles were plinking at me and tlaking about how they wanted to shoot my big ugly rusty head right in the head or to shoot a hole in my nippels so i got up and trioed to get them to stop i begged but htey just kept lauhging at me and shooting at me and it realy hurt my feelings so i pick one up and threw it into the sky then they all ran away screaming which is a classic "Dont fuck with honest joe,because he might try to hurt you or kill you if u piss him of moment" but the miracle of the story if that i went to walk 20 feet to findm y way out and i found my busted as shit old as fuck camry with a litle gas left ive been looking for it for a few days cuz i did a lil cruising when i was blackout and did lots of crazy shit i didnt remember at all but it was all on my story and 100 ppl were snaping and whatsapping me telling me to kill myself when i checked my huwawai thats how u know u had a crazy fcking night when u get that shit!!😂😂 but it had a litle gas left and it wasnt super busted so i was able do get back on I81 and soem stupid fcking crazy ass north carolina motha fuckas are driving insanly as fuck as usual and they keep almost hiting me while im just trying to read my fukcking phone to get rid of all these stupid messages and shit i still dont know how to use the app and its hard to type shit with my hands but eventualy i got back to my fuck buddys houe im crashing there even though he hates me now but i have nowehre left since ive been down on my luck and im realy not able to pay the bills no more with my online black jack/DarkRp trial moderator gigs and basicaly he owes me cuaz i got him 1 pack of menthols back when he was 19 and Sleepy Joe Brnadon banned them since "Freedom to do real shit" was aparently removed from the costitution when he was elected😂 but anywas now im sitting here bored as fuck with nothign at all do do cuz i got nothing to get fucked up wthi and i spent the rest of my meony on shit thats burned and blasted im realy worried i wont be able to sleep tongith since i cant get fucked up and thats when the demons starts to flow in my head i might do something realy bad to myself like pluck out my screws or some shit if u care abotu my which u probably dont my cashuapp is $pjack9 im desprate for another bottle to numb my p[ain away

Pic of my ride when i found it thankuly it still had gas😋

[katsukikitten]

Izuku doesn't have many vices, mostly because he doesn't allow himself to indulge in any. Thinking them more as nasty habits or stains on his perfect PR record than anything else. Like headaches he'd rather avoid or didn't seem worth the bashing he'd receive from fans and haters online.

But that didn't mean he never indulged.

Especially with the weight of being the number one hero pressing down onto his broad shoulders, pushing him further into his sulking as he drapes himself over the smooth bar top. Half finished handle of liquor under his scarred palm, swirling the last dredges of the clear liquid inside as he thinks about ordering another.

Izuku was only here at this tiny lively bar in the small forgotten prefecture of Tokyo because Kaminari dragged him here. The electric blonde wasn't sure if Izuku had a girlfriend or not, he knew his occasional hero partner to be secretive about his love life which was the opposite of Kaminari who often advertised just how single he was. Denki dragged the hulking hero because Izuku needed to “live a little” and it was “cuffing season.”

Izuku didn't know what that meant.

Googling it is how he finds himself on the brink of a spiral with his perfectly white teeth sinking into the inside of his lip before his tongue laps at the metallic tang that floods his mouth.

It doesn't stop his teeth from sinking into tender flesh, it doesn't stop him from swallowing down more burning booze or sighing loudly.

He just can't stomach the thought of having to face his mother without a date during the holidays again this year. Don't mistake this concern for self pity nor vanity. Izuku is not the type of man who thinks he deserves to have people fawning at his feet, hell the man often grappled with feeling deserving of his given quirk on a daily basis more often than not.

But the way his mother looks when she opens the door, how her big smile drops the slightest when Izuku shows up and no one is there under his arm or holding his hand. Or awkwardly smiling as they meet his mom and Yagi-san for the first time even though they'd been dating for a good long while.

Izuku is just too busy, he doesn't mean to be, tried to board his PTO to take a long hiatus or two from work so he could dote on his partner.

But nothing was ever good enough.

He couldn't face that look of worry or concern from his mother, not again.

It wasn't for lack of trying on Izuku's part either, blind dates arranged by his mother or friends, even the agency! Dating app after dating app leading to dead ends or lack of intimacy leaving Izuku to feel hollow, desperate, enough to seek out other lonely heroes that wanted nothing more than sex.

Still he took everything seriously, maybe too seriously, and things just never worked out.

Yet the hopeless romantic in him never wavered and he thought he had one last shot at love when the hero agency set up an arrangement for a PR girlfriend to keep his ratings high. Izuku did everything in his power to make it work, to try to fall genuinely and deeply in love with the pretty woman who he shared his apartment with. Taking her on dates to places like the movies or to see the Sakura. Fucking her on his couch, in his car, over his dining room table after pushing away the dinner she made.

But each action only made him feel empty, more so than before. There was no spark between them, at least not on his end and Izuku couldn't stomach the idea of leading her on. Especially not when Izuku saw hearts forming in her eyes from more than just sex.

It ended in a mess when she confessed she loved him while straddling his lap and he went soft inside her. Fat tears threatening to fall that he blinks away before she gets up to slap him, he doesn't feel anything.

She breaks her fingers.

Breeching her contract that Izuku buys out when the agency threatens to sue her, the only time the commission head ever saw Izuku's bright emerald eyes narrow and darken.

He doesn't understand why he can't keep anyone around, he begins to think he is the problem.

That maybe his expectations were too high? Maybe he didn't devote enough time? Or maybe he really truly didn't feel anything when he was with any of the men and women he dated in the past save for one.

He expected love to be like the movies and of course Kaachan called him a dumb ass for it. That romantic sappy shit, movies that Izuku and Katsuki had watched curled together on Izuku's couch, “weren't fucking real.”

Only for the blonde traitor to move in with a woman he knew for less than six months when Katsuki kept telling Izuku it was too soon to move in with him despite them secretly fucking for a year and knowing each other all their lives.

Izuku finished the second half of his bottle.

His phone demands attention, chirping from the pocket of his jeans as Kamianri’s laugh echoes over the confined space. Izuku reads the banner on the illuminated glass, the text is from his mother.

Is it just you this year, honey?

Before a second one comes through.

Yagi is asking so we know to put the leaf in. We don't mind when you bring extra company. Kaachan and his girlfriend were a pleasant surprise last year.

But I'll be more than happy to just see my son.

Guilt floods his system, heavy in his chest that it forces a groan from his throat. Idle hand coming to clampe and squeeze harshly at the nape of his neck. Finger shaped bruises forming under thick digits in the hairline of his undercut, his emerald curls doing little to hide it. As the pain ebbs pleasantly down his spine he thinks to pat down his jeans seeking out the familiar rectangular outline before he slides off of the wobbling stool.

Pushing open the heavy door to the secluded alley with ease, mind sharp and feet steady as he looks around. Alcohol never had much effect on him due to his large stature and even larger metabolism leaving him to drink an obscene amount of booze before he felt a pleasant buzz. Tonight he hadn't had nearly enough to ease his shattered heart.

Jagged emerald eyes cut through the alley before he lets the tension in his shoulders release but not enough he'd be off guard. He remembers Stain and his legacy, he knows society still remembers the hero killer too. Knows that most heroes don't necessarily die in action but when they're most vulnerable. Throats slit while they were asleep, fucking, or stepping out into a dark alley in the middle of the night for a smoke.

The thought does little to soothe the aching need in his throat, to feel the burn that could dissolve the lump that sits uncomfortably behind his Adam's apple. Pulling out the half crushed pack of cigarettes and placing one between his lips. Dark orange lighter flickering to life as he rolls over the steel and flint before he takes a deep breath.

Only to instantly regret it.

Stale smoke clots his lungs and coats his tongue, still the acrid taste doesn't stop him from pulling another drag. Mind wandering far beyond where he stood, willing the smoke to smother his hopeless heart.

“Didn't you have a campaign ad against those?” You purr, watching the bulky man tense as his head snaps up to face you.

Izuku hadn't seen anything and his danger sense didn't go off when he surveyed the alley but it does now. A tingling in the soles of his feet as he looks up at you shrouded in the shadow of the neighboring building on the fire escape a foot or so next to his head. You jump down with ease and lean against the rough brick wall next to him. Close enough your elbows touch.

Watching the giant of a man fumble over the stick in his mouth making a cruel smile form on your own.

“Number one hero smoking, tsk tsk, what if I'm an impressionable young lady?” You giggle and it clings to Izuku's skin more than the stale smoke, he scoffs.

“You act as if you don't have a vice.” He glances down at you from the corner of his eye before tilting his head up to blow the smoke away from you.

“Everyone has a vice Mr Deku.” Brandishing your cherry tootsie pop you seemingly pull from thin air. Making a grand show of pocketing the bright red wrapper before popping it past glossy lips, eyes glued to the hero hiding outside the alley of the no name bar.

You imagined he'd be in uptown places, where the silverware was gold plated and a shot of patron was twenty dollars. Not here with the ripped leather seats held together with faded duct tape and cloudy glasses.

But here he stands in black jeans, a gray graphic tee with black sleeves from an undershirt rolled up past his thick forearms, smoking no less. The only expensive thing on him is his watch, it makes your fingers twitch.

You roll the sucker around in your mouth, letting it clink your teeth as you watch him, a harsh line for a mouth that smiled so brightly on the news this morning.

Did all heroes do this? Look pathetic in dark alleyways smoking overly stale cigarettes hoping no one sees them? He looks down at you with a calculated, cold gaze, if you were any other woman it would send a shiver down your spine. Especially from how it contrasts to his normally bright gemstone eyes now they looked clouded, jaded with unspoken emotion.

You think it serves him right, yet still your clawed hands bring out a pack of unopened cigarettes from the pocket of your oversized jacket tilting them towards the hero.

“Take these. Those have gotta be at least a year old. They don't make the packaging with the small warnings anymore.” You crinkle your nose at him, his normally doe like eyes narrow as they rove over you harshly before he quirks his brow.

It's kinda cute how bitchy he looks. You swat away the thought and he thinks he's bothering you with his smoke.

“I thought you didn't smoke.” He moves the stick further away from you.

“I don't. I lifted them off the electric blonde you came with. He's a terrible flirt you know.” Cat smile forming around the lollipop sick in your mouth, watching Izuku's eyes flash in warning, it makes you giggle, “Gonna arrest me?”

“Stealing is wrong.” He stubs out his half smoked cigarette, it disintegrates against the brick from its age and not the pressure he applies.

“So’s lyin.” A smiling retort as you shake the fresh pack at him, “I'll even pick your lucky.”

He looks down at his old ragged emergency pack with only the lucky looking back up at him. Bent and half broken from the argument he had with Katsuki almost a year ago about how Izuku couldn't stomach just sex anymore.

Looking up at you but before he can accept the offer you're already gently patting the pack against your palm, pulling the golden plastic that acts as a guide to take off the wrap from the box. Picking his lucky at random and flipping it upside down before you pass the pack to him. He sighs and takes the box, looks down at the fresh pack and looks back up at you. Sees your smug smile.

“Thanks. Going to black mail me now?” He decides he should have another since his first one was so awful. Pulling the dark orange lighter from his pocket to start a good ember.

“No, I think I've got enough collateral.” Flaunting his expensive, classy watch on your wrist. Well about mid forearm for you, “Secrets safe with me.”

Instinctually his broad palms slaps his wrist where his watch should be, as if he doesn't believe his eyes. Glancing back up at you again wholly expecting you to be already at the mouth of the alley but you stay close to him. Well within arms reach and step closer to him still.

He blows the smoke up into the sky again, keeps the cigarette on the opposite side of you.

“I've got more expensive ones in my apartment.” He comments it almost comes off flirty until you see how sad his emerald eyes look. Izuku wants to ‘be a man', wants to take you home and fuck the brains out of your pretty head but his heart swells in agony, he sighs out more smoke.

“Is this you trying to take me home? Ooo so heroes do have one night stands!” A teasing nudge to his ribs, he doesn't even budge, just moves the burning stick up higher so the smoke won't stick to you.

“I don't do one night stands.”

“Then why invite me to see your expensive watch collection hmm? Tryin to get me to steal your heart instead?”

“Maybe I am.” His gaze flickers to you again, holding your eyes as his lids are at half mast.

Did anyone even know the number one hero could give fuck me eyes?

“Steal my heart, be my girlfriend.” He looks down at you, sees what he registers as panic, “Just through the holidays.”

You blink up at him for a moment as he studies you. Drinks in how those black skinny jeans cling to your thick legs, how the fishnets do little to keep his thoughts pure and that little lingerie you wore as a top had his dick twitching. Left fist clenching when his eyes look over a man's leather jacket on your broad shoulders.

He thought about all the jackets he owned so he could replace the well worn garment on your shoulders with his own.

“I'll pay you.” Taking a long drag, feeling desperation claw up his throat competing with the burn of nicotine, “Pay you a lot more than what that watch is worth.”

The idea of it makes you laugh loudly, the pretty sound echoing around the alley as you grip onto his forearm for stability. He had to be fucking drunk, there was no way he was asking a theif to be his fake girlfriend, what was this a shojo manga?

But when you look up at him and see his freckled cheeks flush with embarrassment you swallow down the rest of your mirth.

“Oh you're serious.” Pulling the cherry sucker from your mouth, letting your lips pop around it lewdly, Izuku watches with close emerald eyes his mind wandering down places it shouldn't, especially not with a woman he's just met. Still thick digits twitch as he tries not to palm himself roughly.

“What the number one hero can't get a girlfriend?” You deadpan and this time it's his turn to laugh except there isn't any joy in it.

“Ha. No. Haven't you heard? I'm too much of a ‘fucking nerd.’ Guess Kaachan was right.” He stubs out his cigarette before pocketing the butt since there was no tray in the back alley.

His admission gives you pause, pressing the cherry confection back on your tongue roughly before you pull it into your mouth taking it from manicured nails. Pushing the sucker to poke out your cheek making Izuku's long lashes flutter.

“Kaachan?’ You giggle, looking up as you move the sucker from one side of your mouth to the other with your tongue. Hard candy clacking against your teeth, “You mean Katsuki? That's Dynamight’s given name right?”

Shit shit shit! He hadn't meant to call him that! How did you figure it out so quickly!

“Oh! Oh please don't say anything!” He looks mortified and you watch his cheeks turn as red as your tongue.

“Don't worry Zuzu. Your secret is safe with me.” Crunching down on the last thin layer before the taste of chocolate coats your tongue swallowing the Tootsie roll and Izuku watches your Adam's apple bob while his mind swirls with dirty thoughts.

Thoughts so dirty he almost misses you add,

“Gonna need bigger pay to keep quiet.” Nails tapping his watch, “Sides can't say I'll be a good girlfriend. I hate everything after Halloween. My birthday included.”

“What? Everyone loves the holidays!” He's shocked you've said that and you shake your head.

“No, everyone with good or whole families love the holidays.” You correct and he looks down at you with a frown. Already you pick up on a habit of his, teeth worrying the inside of his lip as he thinks, “I currently have neither.”

“Oh I'm-”

“Don't. I don't need the mighty hero’s pity.” You scoff, sounding a little jaded before you fix your face, turning to a joke as another smile pulls at your pretty lips, “Not when I can take his money instead.”

“Cute.” He scoffs sarcastically, still he can't deny the flutter in his stomach.

“You're kinda bitchy ya know that?” You smile, “The media makes you out to be Prince Charming.”

“I don't look like Prince Charming?” He gestures to himself and you laugh loudly again. He can't help the heat that creeps up his throat.

“Bet you fuck like Prince Charming too. All vanilla and boring.” Struggling to stifle yet another giggle.

“If you accept the offer to be my girlfriend you can find out if that's true or not.” Quickly his demeanor changes, emerald eyes darkening as they slowly drag up and down your body with a sinful gaze. The sight of him looking down his nose at you makes your stomach clench. You shouldn't be considering his offer now from one intense gaze. A hero and a morally gray person never worked out and it was only a matter of time before your thievery caught up with. You really shouldn't but you know what they say.

Curiosity killed the cat

“Fine. I'll be your little girlfriend til new years. When do we start?”

“Tonight.” He leans close letting his large hand slide down your forearm to your wrist til his fingers are lacing with yours, “It's so late, I really should get you home, shouldn't I baby?”

Emerald eyes sparkling with promise that he planned to devour you whole the second the two of you stepped foot into his penthouse apartment.

“Yes, you should. It is so very late."

“Oh my god IZUKUUUUU fuck fuck fuck!” You scream as you grind onto his handsome face, cumming on his skilled tongue for the umpteenth time in the half an hour you've been in his apartment. Mauve nails around his throat as you choke him slightly, shamelessly riding his face to prolong your high, not that he would dare interrupt it. Groaning loudly under you as he slowly yanks at his fat long cock that leaks with pre. Hungry eyes watching him as you let out another breathy moan.

“Fuck and you've never had a girlfriend before?” he laughs in your cunt at your question. Strong hands coming to lift you off his face with ease so you can hear him better.

“I know I said I was a nerd but I never said I was a virgin.” Before he roughly adjusts you back on his cute freckled face, slurping your clit roughly as mock punishment for interrupting him. Your eyes cross and your thighs squeeze his head.

“Fuck.” You whine and he's rewarded with more of your slick as you cum again, Izuku already decided that he loves how you whine curses for him. Feels you start to slump from the pleasure as your body melts, offering you his hand to support you better as you grind into his face before you can't anymore.

Before this insatiable man lifts you with ease, flipping you onto your back when the needle of the record player hits the center of the vinyl. Pressing you into the dark couch with his pelvis as he wets his cock by grinding into your sticky folds, making you gasp out like he wants before he's gently cradling your throat, slipping his tongue into your open mouth as he groans.

“We taste so good together.” He growls, the sound makes you see stars, especially as his fat cock head nudges against your abused clit. Catching your fluttering entrance and it makes you both shudder before he angles himself properly. Slowly sinking in and watching your face for any signs of pain or displeasure. Watching your eyes roll with each passing moment before he rested against you. Giving slow, rough thrusts that grind down into your clit that have your hands shaking at his back as claws struggle to find purchase in his skin.

“And you're telling me these girls didn't stay for the dick either? Fuck Izuku!!!!” Arching your back, if you weren't careful you'd become addicted to him, your question makes him hide his face into your throat.

“Guess sex isn't enough.” He mumbles against your tacky skin.

“That or you're not telling me something.” You gasp at the end, when he keeps hitting that spot and makes you cum each time. Makes a deep tension in you dissipate until you feel as if you're floating, you wouldn't be able to speak much longer.

He thinks you'll pull away but instead you thread your fingers into his sweaty curls to bring his face to yours. To look deep into his eyes even if you struggle before you seal your lips with his. Letting your tongue slide over his until you moan his name into his mouth.

“Oh fuck Izuku, you have to cum in me now. Fuck fuck you're throbbing.” Your cunt clamps down on him at the thought of his warm seed spilling into your milking cunt. He pants over you, still keeping that steady slow roll of his hips but how you squeeze him makes him insane. Makes his hips finally speed up before his pace turns sloppy.

His moans turning into loud grunts as he fucks you with enough vigor the legs of the couch scrape against the expensive hardwoods until he's cupping your throat again but never squeezes. Looking down at you and you don't dare look away as you watch his long lashes flutter, the sight makes the coil in your stomach snap again. Feel him paint your cunt in pearly strings of white before he slowly lowers himself on shaking arms, giving your throat a tender squeeze before he rests his head in the crook of your throat, he hadn't intended for the two of you to fuck already. Hell he didn't even mean to rip off your jeans and set you on his face so he could show you that he really wasn't boring.

And he sure as fuck didn't meant to fill up your pretty cunt with his spend.

“What are you doing to me?” He pants playfully, kissing at your thudding pulse point.

“Stealing your heart, remember?” A breathless giggle as the two of you lie like that until his cock begins to soften. He sighs, slowly gets to his feet before he's lifting you into his arms, it makes your cheeks warm, especially when you look down at the soaked fabric of the sofa.

“I think we ruined your couch.” He laughs at your joke.

“Ts fine, the covers are machine washable.” He nudges his nose into your cheek and you giggle before he's setting you on the edge of the tub as he starts the shower for you.

“Here's how to adjust the water temp if you need it hotter. Most women love it scalding.” He takes a step back, moving to grab for a fresh towel for you. You try not to let your heart sink when you realize he isn't going to join you.

“Oh a real casanova huh?” He rolls his eyes at your playful jab before he steps into his bedroom to give you privacy for the time being. Fishing out a T-shirt and clean boxers for both himself and you to sleep in. Laying yours out on the bed as he smells his body wash float from under the snowy glass door. It makes him smile as he thinks of how you'll smell like him until he takes you to gather your things from your place tomorrow, that or he'll buy you whatever you want or need.

For now he'll relish the idea that you, his fake girlfriend, gets to smell like him, your fake boyfriend.

After awhile you come into the room, clean and pristine, movement catching Izuku's eye of course. When you meet his eyes you smile, give a little twirl.

“It's Chanel.” Letting your fingers adjust the hem of the regular cotton towel and Izuku laughs.

“Is it? Lemme see.” He rises, holds your hand to twirl you again as he looks down at you with a smile, “Perfect fit.”

“Thank you.” You giggle again, feeling shy for the first time under his heavy gaze. Watching the corner of his lips tilt upward before he points out the clothes he left out for you and slips into the bathroom. Surprisingly you don't hear the lock click to the door, Izuku was either far too trusting or he truly did not see you as a threat to his life.

Quick to change into the oversized, old shirt and boxers before you take this opportunity to explore his penthouse now that the six foot four man wasn't pressing himself up against you.

Tiptoeing out of his room even if you knew you didn't need to, whetting your curiosity first with the living room that was adorned with ceiling to floor windows to the left when you first came in. Your breath fogging the window as you look over the cityscape. A snaking inky black cuts through the bright lights, the wide river bed reflecting the lights back in swirling currents giving the scene the stars the sky lacks.

Even this late at night the prefecture is teaming with life, you wonder if it's exhausting for him. To sonder over the lives that carry out beneath his feet. If he wonders if he can save them all.

If he knows he can't.

The needle of the record player bumps against the middle of the vinyl again pulling you from your thoughts.

“Oh.” You squeak, tiptoeing to the old thing and gently lifting the arm. Finding the album cover and slipping the vinyl in with ease before shutting off the player. Eyes quick to find the empty spot on the wall to where the album goes.

Not on the shelves under the player, no those were jam-packed with composition notebooks unlabeled making your curious fingers twitch. The album belongs up on the wall with the rest of them that he organized beautifully. Each piece placed perfectly to compliment each piece of art so that it could be viewed individually or if you stood back you could see it as something whole.

Standing on tiptoes to return its album art facing forward. Taking a step or two back to appreciate it before the notebooks whisper to you.

Slipping one from the shelves, it's filled margin to margin with text about the albums. The notations were meticulously detailed reminding you of placards at museums or art exhibits. Finding the corresponding piece, staring up at the art before your eyes flicker down to the notes.

…when the music swells it squeezes my heart, the lyrics were chosen carefully bringing tears to my eyes. It's haunting how relatable it is to wonder if I'll get a perfect love and if I do that I'm deserving….

You swallow thickly, know you'll get swallowed up by this notebook that you didn't have the time to dissect, especially not with the limited amount of time you had. It felt akin to a diary, something you shouldn't be reading. Normally that wouldn't discourage you, wouldn't have your fingers slowly shutting the book. Normally you'd devour as much as you could with an excuse on why you weren't where you were supposed to be on the tip of your tongue.

For now you return it to the shelf.

Feet carrying you across the cool hardwood to the open concept kitchen that over looks the living room with the album art, expensive couch and the TV. The large waterfall island made of marble, clean and smooth save for a few scattered pieces of Izuku's life he hadn't yet tidied away like the rest of the apartment.

Another notebook, a theme it seems, lying open. A sketch of a hero on the left with text surrounding them before paragraphs of text and few bullet points to the page on the right again in Izuku's slightly messy handwriting. As if his hand cannot keep up with his brain.

Snow Fall - similar to Shouto’s ice quirk…

“Beloved?” Izuku's voice calls gently from down the hall, you tear your eyes away from the notebook and quickly open a few cabinets before you find a glass and fill it from the tap.

“M coming! Just needed water.” Heading back to huge bedroom, smiling devilishly when you find Izuku.

Seeing his body better in the light of the bedroom. Scarred, thick with muscle and soft freckles kissing almost every inch of his skin. The tan spots giving extra attention to his Adonis belt that leads to his fat cock. It makes your cunt throb.

You set the AllMight collectable glass down onto the bedside table, not noticing the fanboy item until you see his flushed cheeks, following his eyes to the PLUS ULTRA cup. The source of his embarrassment makes you giggle again.

“It's cute.” You reassure, jumping on top of the deep viridian duvet, cocking your hand on your hip and pulling your shirt up to show a little skin.

“When's the last time you fucked on this great big bed?” He doesn't answer you right away, basil eyes looking at you before they begin to look through you.

A burning ember gaze sears his memory, he closes his eyes as if that would stop the images from demanding every last shred of his attention..

“Been awhile.” He finally admits, dropping his towel unashamed as he steps into his black boxer briefs. They cup his sac and softened cock nicely, clinging to his thick thighs that have you salivating. The way he ate pussy and fucked was almost good enough to replace the cold hard cash he promised to pay, almost.

That distant look in his eyes made you wonder if there was someone else that held him back from his romantic endeavors.

“Shall we christen this great big bed too then?” A playful tease as you pull up the fabric of his shirt to expose your breasts. He loved the sight, loved how you looked in his clothes, in his bed, underneath him as his emerald pendant swings in your face.

His cock twitches, a tick in his jaw before he's clasping his hands in restraint. Wringing his fingers as he thinks of the last time he fucked in that bed.

He feels the ghost of sharp canines at the nape of his neck, his hand automatically moves to brush over the area. His curls fall over his eyes and he sighs deeply.

“No. I think you should sleep.” He smiles softly, it doesn't reach his eyes and you don't push, “We've got a big day tomorrow. Got to get your stuff and -”

“I don't have a lot of stuff. My outfit was the most of it.”

“You don't have any other clothes?”

“Maybe another pair of pants, some underwear for sure but this is mostly it. So we have time.” You purr, crawling down the bed before you flop onto your stomach. Arching your back purposefully, out stretching your fingers to play with his.

“Then it will be even longer. We'll have to get you an outfit for the party.” He threads his fingers with yours before you let go when his words register. Sitting straight up.

“Party?”

“Yes, baby doll, party. We've got several to go to. Maybe a gala too. Then there's the agency Christmas party oh and…” He bites at his lip as he rest his chin on scarred digits beginning to go off on a tangent as he thinks of all the invitations stuffed in the top desk drawer of his office.

“A gala?!” Oh fuck oh fuck this was a bad idea. When he said girlfriend through the holidays you thought fucking and a private date or two. Not being surrounded by pro heroes you ran from on the daily, identity concealed with a mask.

Not only would you be in the literal lion’s den but you really weren't the most classy type of bitch. You've never really been invited to any big event let alone one that was fucking televised. At least not events you didn't crash to slide priceless paintings off the walls or expensive jewelry off the wrists of the one percent. At least then you'd have your mask to hide behind, the ability to blend into the crowd but now you'd be hanging off the arm of the number one hero.

You'd have to act like a proper lady who definitely didn't crash in vacation homes or half lived in apartments of the rich and the famous while they stayed in their main mansions until they got tired of the same old four walls.

Each gig you promised that this would be your last and each time you found yourself with a new piece of jewelry made from dazzling gems of deconstructed designer pieces hungry for the next heist.

Art and jewelry weren't the only things you've stolen, information and secrets often sold for a lot more but Izuku, pro hero Deku, didn't need to know you had a stash house, more like stash attic, in some rundown home in Kamakura you'd gotten for a steal.

His thighs bump up against the edge of the bed, cupping your cheeks for a moment, “You look…worried.”

“I am worried. Some of these events are televised. Are you sure you want me? I'm not exactly Yaoyorozu or Kendo."

“I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't.” He comes down to press his lips to your forehead. It makes your stomach flutter, it shouldn't, “Besides those will be the easiest ones. The hard ones are the more personal settings.”

He leans back, takes his hands from your face as he heads towards the lights, “I won't let anything happen to you.”

He flicks off the lights, stands by the door for a moment before he goes to shut it.

“You're really going to sleep on the couch? I thought we had to make this realistic.” A final attempt to get him to at least come and enjoy his luxury bed. It was big enough that you doubted the two of you would even touch by accident in the middle of the night. If he was so afraid of intimacy, which was odd, he seemed more the time to fall in love if he fucked. Especially when he did romantic shit like fuck you to music and whisper some of the lyrics in your ear.

You pat his side with sharp clawed fingers, “Come on boyfriend.”

He can't remember the last time he slept in his bed, changing and washing the sheets more out of habit than necessity and as he tries to recall he thinks it's been over a year.

He looks at you for a long, long time, you curled up in his expensive sheets and comforter as you pat the spot beside you patiently but he sighs.

“Maybe another time. Good night sugar.”

“Good night Zuzu bear.”

[michellemisfit]

WEEKLY TAG WEDNESDAY

Happiest of birthdays to our dear @energievie who created today's birthday themed tag game. WHOOP WHOOP! 🥳

Thanks for the tag @deedala 🎉 @gallapiech 🤩 @vintagelacerosette 🙌

---

When is yours? 1st March

Where were you born? Switzerland.

How do you feel about your legal name? Are you using it online and/or IRL? Michelle is a nice name. I'm perfectly happy with it. I do however absolutely hate the Beales song I was named after. Think it's one of their worst songs. And I regularly forget that I have a middle name, not even cause I hate it or anything, purely because I think it's pointless. It's Aline.

How about your sign? Do you feel it "fits"? I'm Pisces. And I guess so..? I don't really know much about signs, but people who do tell me it fits, and I believe them. @celestialmickey - come and weigh in! haha

What's your earliest memory related to your birthday? Weirdly enough my earliest *birthday* memory that comes to mind is actually my brother's birthday, when he turned maybe 6? And I would have been 3? My parents had a weird thing about getting me small gifts on his birthday, because I was younger and they didn't want me to get upset I guess? Anyway. There's a photograph of him blowing out his birthday candles and me holding a little sheep stuffed toy that I got for his birthday. I remember loving that sheep a LOT! For my first birthday memory I actually don't really have one until about age 6 or 7? I had a birthday party in our party room and my mum made me invite the whole class, even though I wasn't friends with anyone at school. One of the girls gave me a doll as a present and I genuinly just didn't know what I was supposed to do with this thing and had no idea how to react when I unwrapped it... it was very awkward and I'm sure I was less than graceful. Not the best memory lol

What's one of the best gifts you've ever received? When I first moved to London I felt like I was required to go back to Switzerland for birthdays and Christmas celebrations, even though those were difficult, associated with a lot of bad memories, and never ever fun. I moved to London at the beginning of October with a suitcase of clothes and not much else, and we pretty immediately went on the Dirty Pretty Things break up tour, so i didn't even sleep in my new London room very much for the first 8 weeks. Going back to Switzerland for that Christmas was particularly hard because I hadn't been in London for long, I had barely any stuff that belonged to me, and there was a certain feeling of 'maybe it was just a long holiday, and I'm gonna wake up and live in Switzerland again', because I did a lot of extended holidays to follow bands around the UK in the two years leading up to my move so... yeah, it was rough. And then when I returned home to London Ruth and her mum had bought me my own bedsheets (zebra striped), and made up the bed in my room, and put a big bow on it, and I'm basically in floods of tears just thinking about it now. They made me a home that I was welcome in. And I’ll never forget that.

How about one of the best you've given yourself? I honestly can't think of anything that was a "birthday" gift to myself. hmmm. When I quit smoking I put £5 into a jar every day, that I wasn't spending on cigarettes, and then Ruth and I went to New York and attended Elsie Fest with my 'No Longer a Smoker' money, buying VIP tickets that came with awesome seats and a tonne of free booze... that was EXCELLENT! haha

What's your favourite cake flavour? Not a big fan of cake. I like raw cake batter an awful lot better than actual cake. So I now always ask for chocolate mousse for my birthday :)

How about your favourite flowers? Wild Flowers. And I quite like interesting twigs, too.

Have your ever thrown a birthday party? If yes, tell us about your favourite one. Oh yeah, I throw awesome parties. Here's just a few recent ones, or you can check out the Mys in the Kitchen tag for what may get served at my birthday parties... haha Though actually a couple of years post pandemic I wanted to have a brithday party, but keep it small and covid friendly, so I had a Cocktail & Cookie Icing party, which was so much fun!! I highly recommend everyone to throw a party at least once in their life, that includes like a fun workshop element. We had such a good time!

What's the ultimate birthday song?

Because it’s my birthday and people have to let me play it haha

There we have it! Birthday fun! Now it's your turn @deedala @ian-galagher @iandarling @darlingian @celestialmickey @crossmydna @too-schoolforcool @rereadanon @rutherinahobbit @the-rat-wins @tsuga-of-mars @heymrspatel @gallawitchxx x @iansw0rld @ohkate @palepinkgoat @lynne-monstr @loftec @sickness-health-all-that-shit @faejilly @junemermaid @jrooc @mikhailoisbaby @creepkinginc @francesrose3 @callivich @blue-disco-lights @sleepyfacetoughguy @stocious @spookygingerr @lingy910y @suzy-queued @greentealycheejelly @thepupperino

[sgiandubh]

'Business talk'

This gem...

... triggered this reaction:

That was exactly The Fascist's point, but it would seem The Fascist has never ran a lemonade stand in her entire life, either.

How about this easy to comprehend explanation?

S is the investor - he put his own money in that project. He could have went for the easy white label solution, but he clearly wanted to make it a personal journey of discovery, too. Then he helps with promotion (it is a personal journey of discovery, after all), something he went a bit overboard with on his socials, IMHO. On which planet would BTS work be up to him, too?

Ever since Ashley stepped in, I definitely feel there is less amateurish improv and way more balance, in that department. Plus she works hard and brought all her professional network onboard - just look at the SS Spirits Instagram account, lately and the difference is plain to see. Alex looks like a wannabe, compared with the steel butterfly blonde - she definitely knows what she is doing, there. All the right things, at the right time. Witty puns on top - you go, girl, I am rooting hard for you and I am not the only one:

And then, you have this particular type of twat, with this particular type of comment:

'Go into debt'? For a bottle of booze (even as a repeat buy)?

Oh come on, do they really think we are all imbeciles, or what?

The genius who wrote that has no idea about what a really expensive whisky retail price is, nowadays. And I am talking retail price, not auction results:

[Source: Masters of Malt website - https://www.masterofmalt.com/guides/whisky-guides/a-guide-to-expensive-whisky/]

Taking Waitrose as reference for a (posh) weekly shopping experience, The Sassenach whisky is priced on par with their most expensive available brands online - that is true:

However, all of the above are single malt bottles. For blends, such as The Sassenach, their best fetch halved prices:

But going into debt? Wow. That is a stretch, for a product that is not even that easy to source, outside of the US and the UK.

That woman clearly has a very low opinion of the fandom she claims to be a part of.

It would seem they are also stupid on Fridays, for some reason. I am impressed by the consistency.

[cyborg-franky]

Shopping Trip With One Piece Characters

Part of a trade with the awesome @softcenteregg

Doffy - The very definition of “Get in loser, we’re going shopping!”

Has money but you will have to pay for him all day when it comes to lunch and drinks.

Will be sitting at a restaurant at 11 am with a cocktail as he tells you about his week, regardless of if you asked or not.

Checks out the mall hotties.

Laughs when people open push/pull doors wrong.

Always has a cocktail or a Starbucks clutched in one hand, waving his credit card around in the other hand.

Rude to salespeople.

You will be dragged through the mall for hours because he needs to go into every designer shop he can and try on at least seventeen pairs of $400 sunglasses or he’ll die.

Will be the most overdressed person in the area,

When your having lunch with him and he sees someone he doesn’t like, he will be like “Oh hey! Been so long since we hung out, should do it again soon!” then soon as they're gone he’s dishing the dirt.

Also, you will carry his bags, thx.

Roger

Makes you wish you could get those reigns for kids but in adult sizes.

In fact, the entire trip is like taking a child out for his birthday.

Ever seen a huge bearded man grinning in pure glee at the new limited edition Build a Bear products? Ever seen one make like 12?

Do yourself a favor and limit his booze and sugar intake.

Is confused he can’t do a pub crawl in a mall.

Buys alot of those ‘alcoholic chocolates’ by the box load in an attempt to get a nice buzz going.

Thrift shopping but he will try on everything he can.

Does not know how to dress but does it with style, oddly enough.

You won’t get a chance to sit down or rest unless it’s dinner time.

At least he’ll sleep well tonight.

Kid

Hit’s all the stores that sell music and band merch.

Will snort at people who buy things he doesn’t like.

Throws around words like ‘poser’ and judges everyone.

The kinda metal kid who hangs out at the mall with all the wallet chains looking like their parents grounded them, but in their late 20s.

Will spend hours looking for CDs and just say he’s too broke and he’ll download it online anyway.

Walks around the mall trying to find the right shade of lipstick with Killer, both their arms and hands are covered in testers before they both just get more black nail varnish and the same shade they always buy.

Has a reusable plastic cup that's full of jack and coke. 

Taunts mall cops.

Killer

Imagine all of the above but he also spends alot of time looking at fancy new cook wear.

Will spend nothing on food all day but will drop $90 on a brand new crockpot or air fryer for the kitchen.

Very metal of him.

Thatch

Thatch is fun to go with.

Treats you, buys the coffee and lunch.

Is happy to do whatever you want as long as he gets to check out homeware sections while you look at your things.

You will never lose him behind shelves because you can always see his hair.

Like Jaws but with hair and ozone layer murdering levels of hairspray.

Will flirt with staff, will get talking to them for far too long, and hold up the line.

The type of person who has alot of change and makes it a personal challenge to count out change exactly.

Will carry your bags though, he’s a good boy.

Bit judgey on eatery places pastries.

Shanks

I hope you enjoy getting nowhere because when you're at a mall with Shanks or out and about in town you will be stopping every ten steps because someone recognises him and comes over and chats.

Has no concept of how long he’s been talking.

Is the type to have a pint with breakfast or brunch when you guys hang out.

Sale on ugly pants? He’d push you down to get there first.

Always texting the gang when he’s out.

Lol Benn guess what, I saw Buggy and he was with that guy, you know, the one with the hook, lol lol

Will drop Uta off at the mall kids' soft play area even though she’s 18 and still forget to pick her up before leaving.

Ace

Low key baits mall cops by loitering around and looking like an issue but has no intention of being an issue.

Might skateboard inside the mall.

Poses with ‘no skateboard’ signs.

Hopefully, there isn't an arcade in the mall because if you had any intention of getting things done today, that won’t happen now.

Hungry every 20 minutes and has to grab snacks.

100% the kinda friend/boyfriend who sits on the seats outside the changing rooms holding all the bags and groaning, acting like it’s the worst thing in the world.

Is one of those people who opens push/pull doors wrong.

Marco

After taking five minutes to park correctly he’s happy to go with the flow. 

Likes to have a coffee and a people watch with you, chatty and social.

But he will drag you to shoe stores and you will be sat there for ages as he tries on every strappy sandal in the place, walking up and down and asking you what you think.

“I like this one but I don’t know if it makes me too tall yoi.” while you can’t for the life of you tell the difference between that pair and the last 40.

If you meet him at the mall he might be late, very much the shows up 20 minutes late with Starbucks.

Has a tendency to wander off in shops and you spend half your time looking for him.

Doesn’t give a warning when entering a shop if something shiny caught his bird brain.

Benn

He hates the mall.

Imagine a dad who has to take his teenage daughter clothes shopping and that’d basically be him with Shanks.

Benn is a very ‘I know what I am here for’ in and out kind of person but he doesn’t mind going to other places with you.

Ignores staff-only signs when he knows there is a smoking area on the other side of that door.

Is the person to remind you of the ‘insert thing here we have at home’ and is a shop sensible person, though he won't say anything if you do buy another T-shirt that looks exactly like the one you already have.

Pretends to be annoyed at carrying the shopping, but he offered and he likes to help you out.

If you complain about your feet hurting he’ll helpfully tell you he told you to wear your other shoes.

Sabo and Luffy

Banned

Both have their pictures up in the security office.

Sabo for giving the mall cops the finger, graffiti, and shoplifting.

Luffy peed in the fountain and kept stealing pick-n-mix.

[an-idyllic-novelist]

Queen Bee-zlebub with gender neutral!reader platonic headcanons

warnings: alcohol and drug usage, non-consensual behavior, explicit language.

This is a fictional story, therefore the behavior portrayed here is not acceptable in real life. If you do not feel comfortable venturing further, please push the 'back' button on your mobile device or computer and find something else much more pleasant to read.

You are responsible for your Internet consumption!

Hey guys, and welcome to my first Helluva boss fanfic! I'd like to thank @thatstonedwriter for not only reading the draft of this piece, but also giving me feedback on the parts I initially struggled with writing out. Definitely check out their Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss content guys, it is amazing!

So with that being said, sit back, relax, and let's get this party started! :)

Being Beezle-bub’s friend definitely makes life in Hell interesting for you. Not only is she the Deadly Sin of Gluttony, but her parties are legendary; you never leave on an empty stomach, or feel dissatisfied.

 Her power comes from her guest’s good vibes, so she knows if they are enjoying themselves or things are getting out of control, leaving her no choice but to step in and remedy the situation before the party’s mood goes sideways in the worst way possible. Case in point with Blitzø at Bee’s last party. He drank in the name of the sin of pride, instead of indulgence. 

You met Queen Bee in her mansion during one of her weekend parties; nothing special, really. You were having a good time and challenged her to a friendly drinking contest. Loser would buy drinks next time they met. You didn’t win, but you came pretty damn close and thanked the Deadly Sin for indulging your whims, promising to buy her a drink when you met each other next time. 

Polite, easygoing, and cheerful without a stick up your ass? You definitely won some brownie points with Queen Bee. More kudos would be earned if you’re honest with her. 

Before the night was over, she invited you to a more exclusive party she’d be hosting in the following weeks. She will immediately follow you online if you have any social media accounts. Sinstagram is her main one to advertise her Beezle-juice and other products. Party invitations? Nope. Sorry, but those are her rules. You gotta know someone to come to her events, or know her to get permission to set a single foot on her property. She can’t keep stealing large quantities of drugs from Belphegor or else that asshole will keep changing the locks on her. 

When you weren’t getting drunk or high as a kite with the Deadly Sin, you’d meet up somewhere in the Gluttony Ring and grab a drink. That’s actually what happened first, since you did promise to buy her shots after losing the drinking contest with her. From there, you’d either trade gossip at the local coffee shop that’s known for their killer frappuccinos, or just go window shopping.

If you see something you like, clothes, booze, or anything else? She’ll buy it as long as you come to her next party like you said you would. If you can’t make it because of work? She gets it, but just let her know as soon as you do, okay? She is a busy lady after all. 

She’s all for fucking and getting fucked at her parties, but she shares Ozzie’s philosophy that consent makes it an art form. Non-con shit like drugging drinks or pushing someone into something they aren't down to doing? And someone pulls that kind of stunt on you, her bestie? Yeah, that son of a bitch is yeeted out of the goddamned window faster before anyone can blink and the party's over. 

Vortex would definitely be happy to see you around the dance floor. Other than himself, you’re probably the only person that can calm down Bee if she’s super upset or angry. If you have time before you go home, you help him out with cleaning up the place or getting some hangover remedies prepped up in the kitchen for the the guests that were too fucked up to go home. 

 She’s definitely trying to reign in her temper, but it can be hard for her. When she gets in one of those dark moods, you’re only a phone call away, like you always tell her. And when she does call? You’re there in a heartbeat, or talk to her until she can finally relax and fall asleep. 

Yeah…she’s really glad she met you. 

Taglist:

@myafterlifeisbetterthenyours

@nunezs-stuff

@mitra555

@isuckatwritingsobenice

@nixie-writes

@vikkirosko

@abelheilonwife

@puffy-bangs

@technikerin23

[jaker-shit]

Then theres the question of whether or not im playing into or upholding harmful systems with the way i express myself here? Like how much of my thoughts and feelings regarding romance and sex and relationships is natural desire? Hiw much of the things i want are products of patriarchy that i need to unlearn? I do find women attractive, and i desire a sexual and romantic relationship to someone. I dont think im entitled to anything from anybody. Sometimes i do think of strangers sexually. It might be bad? Would it be different if i was attracted to men? Am i being selfish or making things about my own dipshit problems when i shouldnt? Does it matter if im on a useless personal blog? Is there a way to look at someone sexually and respectfully as a straight man? Does it matter if youre getting 0 pussy for the next millennium anyway? Is that some incel faggot shit? Does any of this make sense? Im having too many thoughts to type all out like i want to beam it directly to someones head but that would be like an infinite void of the absolute stupidest things a human being could say like honestly I should just be keeping this all in my head. Fuck is everything i do performative? Youd think i could perform something well or do something fuckin useful to anyone for once. Ah shit does a ton of this make me come off as a genuine creep? I dont talk to women generally and on the rare occasion i do theres zero flirting or anything so i try not to be a creep but maybe i just have shit vibes anyway damn i hope not. Yknow ive been a fuckin terrible son and brother. Im supposed to be a role model and support for my little brother but the only thing i can fuckin do i buy him booze until he turns 21 and can do it himself. Hes a fantastic kid hes in a university i could never handle. Hes fit and skinny and good looking. He’s actually a talented artist and writer. Ive been a stupid lazy fat piece of shit while he went and started to make something of himself and i know my parents hate it. I know i let them down every day they dont even need to say it. Useless fuckin 21 years old can barely handle a part time job lied about going to school for the past year to avoid disappointment cant do fucking anything right when asked what is even ghe point to being here still fuck this is stupid and should be ignored like my problems are so fucking stupid. I had every advantage and the people i know came from so much harder places and i havent the discipline or self control to accomplish anything. Its fuckin pathetic and instead of fixing anything and being a man im cryin aboit it online like a bitch i stg i do not deserve to live on this earth

[muekyn]

shy!armin headcanons

a/n: ok so this was supposed to be shy!armin but i guess i just made him awkward??? so hope you like shy awkward armin fluff t/w: maybe slight suggestive at one point?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

meeting armin was, interesting, to say the least. you met him at a mutual friend's house party. he seemed out of place, a nice young man surrounded by a bunch of sweaty, boozed up people. he simply stood to the side, awkwardly speaking now and again while your mutual friend, eren, shotgunned a 16 oz tallboy. the night for you two ended once eren got too drunk and needed to be taken care of by armin.

you would definitely say he was polite, kind, and thoughtful. it just seemed as though he had little to say.

armin was admittingly, very shy. and when he saw you it just made it ten times worse. he was stammering and tripping over his sentences, running out of things to talk about. the mere sight of you made him beyond flustered. his mind was like a broken record, repeating the thought "oh my god they're so cute and they're talking to me what do i do what do i say oh my god"

he hoped he would see you again, just to make up for last time. he made sure that next time he saw you, he had things to talk about, even if they led no where. he even looked up some conversation starters online.

ever since your first meetup he's been crushing hard!!! at first it was really bad, he could barely let a sentence out. but as time goes on armin realizes you mesh with his temperament, and is more willing to talk to you about practically anything.

fidgets with his fingers. usually is standing like the "had to do it to em" guy. he just doesn't know what to do with his hands

mumbles!! trails off of his sentences bc he isn't sure if what he's saying is interesting

if he has something to say in a group setting, he usually waits until people are done talking to speak. most of the time this causes him to wait a little too long, and the group has already moved on with their conversation. because of this, he can be especially quiet with large amounts of people.

you think he's quiet with friends? just wait until you see him interacting with a stranger. that boy can't hold a conversation. usually says a grand total of three sentences to somebody before he can't come up with anything else to say. he'll quickly shuffle away before there's an awkward silence.

he also has a hard time making prolonged eye contact. (especially with you!!) doesn't know how long and when to make eye contact, so he usually is looking away from people when he speaks.

the more you're around armin the more he comes out of his shell, especially when it's just the two of you. he's even confided in you that he wishes he had more confidence so he could do the things he wants. (*hint hint* you)

touch starved!! usually pulls away instantly the second he feels someone's skin touching his. however, if you accidentally touch him, he reciprocates the affection instantly. if you brush your hand against his, he'll brush his hand back with a playful smile on his face. if you lean into him, he'll place his hands on your shoulders and pull you in closer.

wants to buy you gifts but isn't sure if that would be overstepping his boundaries. he has bought a few things here and there to give to you when if you two start dating. he keeps them wrapped up nice and neat in his closet, hidden from anyone just in case they were to ask.

armin talks to you the most out of everyone. despite this he's still rather quiet, choosing to spend his free time with you by writing or doing work. occasionally he'll ask you for tips. he loves the creative energy you two bounce off of each other.

definitely has looked up "how to get a person to like you" and "how to know if someone likes you" on google after meeting you

has written out a script for what to say when he confesses feelings for you. he's revised it three or four times at this point. (though, in reality, he's probably just going to accidentally admit he likes you)

[disdaidal]

Love going to my old hometown to see some relatives, just to find out my uncle's drinking again (he always does but it's worse now), and that he's out of money, in a lot of debt, and the taxi he drives is broken, and he hasn't eaten for days.

Not to mention my 87-year-old grandma is the guarantee in his loan(s), and he hasn't paid his installments in a while, so there's that too. Needless to say, my grandma was worried sick, and so I agreed drive us there last evening to see if he's even alive anymore because he hadn't answered texts or phone calls.

He opened the door for us. He was groggy/drunk/hangoverish and smelled like old booze. He hasn't shaved in a while. His place was a mess and obviously smelled bad. When we suggested that we buy him some food, he said there's no point because his fridge and freezer were broken.

So my grandma opened them and... there was nothing but loads of rotten food there. It smelled like a corpse. There was mold on the walls of the fridge, and the freezer boxes were full of water and rotten stuff. Some brown liquid had flown out onto the floor as well and ruined the carpet. And my grandma was just standing there and cleaning and emptying that stuff like no biggie whereas I stood a couple of meters away and tried not to hurl every ten seconds.

There was also a lot of different shit in the kitchen, like opened jars, old food boxes, milk cartons, rotten fruit—even unfinished food from 2-3 days ago according to him, which tells me that not only he hasn't been able to store food properly; he really hasn't fucking eaten either. At least one sandwich was just lying there, and he'd probably taken a bite or two of it and then just let it waste there.

He wouldn't even let us finish cleaning (we took a few garbage bags out though) because 'he's tired' and 'he wants to go to sleep'. We still offered to buy him some food, but he refused. So I finally grabbed the small box of fish soup that grandma had made earlier and handed it to him, so he could eat something, and at least that he accepted.

But I couldn't properly sleep last night because I kept thinking about the whole situation. So when I talked on the phone with my mum today, we agreed that I contact local social welfare and explain his situation. I tried calling them first and making it sound urgent, but they asked me to fill out an online form. So I did and explained the problem as well as I could (plus his possible physical and mental ailments), and left both our contact details there.

I hope they can reach him, and that he'll accept help (I don't think he will though) because if not, then they can't do much about it, unfortunately. The self-determination laws in this country are quite firm, so if it's a grown-up refusing help, then sorry🤷‍♀️ :/

My grandma's trying to contact her older son (his brother) and persuade him to buy him a new fridge, at least. Even if he does, the old fridge still needs to be emptied and cleaned up before that, and I really hope she's not planning to do it alone 🙄😑.

I could cry and bitch about how utterly mad and done I'm with all kinds of alcoholics (I lost my dad to it 9 years ago, for example). But mostly, I feel for my grandma. She doesn't deserve this. She shouldn't have to worry about her grown-up son at that age, let alone worrying about paying his debts when her own retirement allowance isn't that great either. 😑

Either way, if he's not accepting help, it's gonna take me all willpower not to go behind his door and smack some sense into him. I don't want to give up on him just yet, but I also know that if this doesn't lead anywhere, I may have to. And it's making me somewhat anxious right now.

Well... at least it's a beautiful day outside today. Maybe I'll just go out and get some fresh air for a while.

[nice-bright-colors]

It’s just one of those days.

It’s too hot outside to cook anything elaborate. The guest dog is gone. Reality of the coming week is setting in.

The depression is strong today. As an added bonus, all of the usual remedies do not apply. No junk food, or bad food is here. Plus going out would mean the heat, and people, and the slew of coordination to figure out what we want, and where to get it.

I’m also resisting the urge to buy a handle of booze and ginger beer and put my copper mugs to some good use.

Not to mention the online shopping, because I need some new shorts. How is it that pants are $100 and so are shorts? Looking at you Kühl. Kinda hard to rationalize that when income is virtually nil.

Finally, for reasons unbeknownst to me (but probably having to do with the heat), that other source of “feel good” drug has been avoiding us for a few months. Hello??? We’ve been stressed for about almost 2 months now. Might be beneficial for both of us if we just fuck. Of course, I should probably work on my delivery to make it more appealing.

Basically what I’m saying is, it’s just been one of those:

Days.

Weeks.

Months.

Quarters.

2 quarters.

3 quarters.

Hell, at the end of June it will be close to 11 months. Something has to break loose in my life. Something has to get started again. Something has to give me a sliver of hope.

Dammit, why couldn’t it be somewhere between 10-12 mules and a hot Summer’s day.

[clatterbane]

One of my next little experiments in line: making some of my own real mirin! Which you just can't buy here; it's all the nonalcoholic seasoning syrup, basically. Anything I turn out is probably going to be at least as tasty for cooking.

It's apparently really easy to put together a reasonable version, too.

Shochu (rice-based neutral distilled stuff) is traditional, but vodka apparently works just as well, besides being so much cheaper and easier to find in Western countries.

Not that this is really a cheap project, involving specialty ingredients--plus even the "cheap" vodka runs over $20 a bottle here. 😭 Gotta love the state liquor store. Good extra incentive to get into homebrewing for anything over like 3.5%. It really is just as well that I very rarely drink distilled stuff. It's mostly a cooking/baking ingredient to me, like the finished mirin is going to be!

Bit of a shame that I didn't think to ask Mr. C to pick up any vodka or other booze when he was driving through Denmark/NL/Germany to and from the UK. Hell, even grab a bottle of cheap vodka from Lidl somewhere along the way. The stuff is significantly cheaper if you even pop across the bridge to Copenhagen here. (So that's what a lot of people do. Mobility problems suck.)

Anyway, info about homebrewing mirin is not the easiest to find online. But, the madlads over on r/Koji are a bad influence! A few threads if you're interested in a little more practical info and discussion:

First mirin, first cooking test

Is it worth making your own mirin?

Every time I’ve tried to make mirin this happens.

You are basically just having the koji work its sweet aromatic enzyme magic on rice in an environment that's already too alcoholic for anything to grow in there, then let it age some. One way to make flavored vodka!

I don't have any bigger glass jars now, so I guess this little experiment will end up split between a couple of pickle jars. It should work. That's kinda how we roll around here, anyway.

[chadwick211]

Offering fastest liquor delivery service, Sendgifts has a wide range of whiskies and fine spirits. For any occasion, our online liquor store is the perfect place to send that special gift.

[justsome-di]

Andy & Syan: Modern AU (excerpt)

A delinquent breaks into her sick best friend's home. I've been writing a modern short story for my own Fairest of All Stars bc I think these funky lesbians are cool

So, Andy goes about her favorite past time—going through Syan’s stuff. There’s nothing new on her shelves and dresser but one necklace. Most likely from her mother. It’s not Syan’s style, and nothing her mother ever buys for her is. It still sits in its box on a square of cotton. The silver chain blends in with it. But a dainty gem of amethyst stands out. Bright purple against stark white. Andy will ask later if Syan wants to pawn the necklace or sell it online for twice than what it’s really worth, making up some significance about its origin or forging. They can use the money to buy junk food and nicer booze than Andy usually has in her apartment. She thinks about pocketing the necklace, but she decides against it. Syan might want to keep it after all.

Andy weaves her way to the bookshelf by Syan’s bed. Never a great reader, Syan has shelves of graphic novels and fantasy series meant for young children. Along the top shelves are rows of sheet music from years ago, never touched after high school. Andy reaches for one, but the shelf is a little too tall. There’s no stool around because Syan is tall enough that she doesn’t need things like stools. Andy stretches and gets to her toes and her fingers just barely brush the folders. She pulls one forward after snagging her finger on the edge, but instead of carefully pulling it down, it topples to the floor with three other folders. Andy grimaces at her casualties and then raises her head to see Syan staring at her, her usual frown peeking out from her pink blanket. “You’re awake!” Andy says. “Good.” She climbs onto Syan’s bed and claims a pillow about half the size of her body. “Sick?” Andy asks.

She wishes she has more capacity for outward sympathy. The way she asks if Syan is sick sounds too casual and too flippant. Anyone else, Andy wouldn’t care. Caring about people isn’t really something she has ever been good at. Syan nods pathetically, rubbing her fingers over her eyes. Like this, with her hair in a messy bun half-fallen out and with her face pale and dull, she still manages to look beautiful. Freckles line her cheeks and nose. Her eyelashes flutter as she tries waking up. The extensions she got last week are holding on strong. Andy thinks all the beauty stuff Syan gets done is a waste. Not because she doesn’t need them—which is true. Syan has a sort of freaky, ethereal beauty about her. But because they always get ruined. Her nails were manicured last week but are now jagged and uneven from their beach trip that weekend when they dug through the sand and climbed on the rocks. Her lashes never hold as long as Andy thinks they should, and she suspects Syan plucks them off herself. She gets all these expensive treatments for her hair, but ocean water washes them all away.

Syan spends her parents’ money just to spend it. She’s always resented their wealth and by extension, has always resented her parents. In retaliation, Syan buys stupid stuff and goes through continuous beauty maintenance that costs roughly the same amount as Andy’s rent every month. It’s benefited Andy more than a few times. She gets fancy dinners out of it though she never fits in at the swanky joints Syan takes her to. For her birthday one year, Syan bought her a cool antique sword. While it was supposed to be for display only, Andy and her roommate took turns swinging it around their apartment and putting nicks in their second-hand furniture. “Do you want to do any sick activities?” Andy asks. There are about a dozen sick activities they can do depending on how well Syan can move around. “We can listen to Chappell Roan.” “No.” “We can listen to Mitski.” “No.” “We can… play a video game? We can play Doom?” “No.” “What do you want?” “For you to stop asking me questions.” Syan throws her arm over her eyes. Andy rubs her own shoulder. It’s tender from a fading sunburn. The skin has started to lift and peel off, and Andy has been leaving little pieces of herself everywhere she goes like a disgusting lizard. She wiggles off the bed and continues going through Syan’s things. On her desk is her laptop for her part-time gig as an editor for musical scores. Andy doesn’t understand what she really does, but she knows that every time Syan talks about music—good music, not the shit her family has forced on her or the stuff she edits—Andy can’t look away. Syan’s face softens from its usual stone-hard roughness. Her shoulders relax, and her fingers twitch in time to the melody or time signature she’s describing. Or whatever she talks about. Andy doesn’t listen. She can’t listen. she’s always too captivated by Syan herself to focus on her words.

Next to her laptop is a rock that Andy picked up for her during their last beach outing. It looked cool to Andy with one jagged edge and a smooth body. There’s little flecks of something sparkly on the edge where it had cracked. “Do you want to watch a movie?” Andy asks. Syan doesn’t respond right away, and Andy thinks that she got her. “What movie?” Syan asks. “What do you want to watch?” Andy knows her favorite comfort movie. “The Exorcist?” Syan nods. She owns a pirated copy, ripped from Andy’s collection of MP4 files on her trusty computer. Syan wanted to buy a copy. After half-listening to Andy’s usual rant about how art should be free, how the movie made millions already, Syan had told her to burn a DVD for her (if only to get Andy to stop talking). Andy slips the disc in Syan’s DVD player and finds the remote for the flat screen TV mounted across from her bed. She climbs back into bed with Syan.