#CAN YOU TELL THE MANAGER IS A FAVE OF MINE

[braintapes]

The Hotel Podcast Season 3 Analysis: Part I - The Manager

@zombified-queer @subsequentibis @thehotelpod <3 <3 <3 hearts for yall. Thank you for encouraging my madness :-)

This is gonna be long and windy due to the nature of Season 3 and because I have a lot to say about it. As in like, I wrote this post and then when I was done, realized I'd HAVE to break this up into multiple posts because I have so damn much to say. Bear with me.

I'm going to approach this from a purely in-universe, Watsonian perspective as much as I can since I find that more fun. And of course, this is all just my own personal interpretation of the text/audio. Would be very happy to see anyone's additional thoughts or alternate takes!!!!

With that...

I believe S3 takes place simultaneously before the show begins, sometime after season 1 specifically, and also is occurring periodically as time progresses. This is not the usual manifestation of the Hotel, but more of a dreamscape, the blurry subconscious of the Hotel entity. It is the place, time, and series of events that the Hotel and, specifically, the Hotel Staff (old crew) spring from and it is where and when they will inevitably, always return to.

After all, no one escapes the Hotel. No one leaves. Certainly not the guests, and certainly not the Staff. You can't just have a Hotel without the Staff to run it.

But I think I'm getting ahead of myself. Was that yelling I heard just now…?

Season 3 is made of distinct segments - the Manager's perspective, the Lobby Boy's perspective, and finally the Owner's and the Hotel Herself's perspective at the end. So I'm going to tackle this in 4 distinct segments breaking down each arc before I tie it all back together at the end. At least, that's the plan, anyway. Let's do this.

(Do ya see it?)

Part I - The Manager

We begin the very first episode of season 3, Forest Fire Night Beast, with these lines from the Manager:

"I arrive, finally, at the place it will be. A jagged mountain, almost invisible against the night storm."

Right off the bat, this episode establishes all of the elements of importance that will show up throughout the season and wrap around to its finale. The mountain specifically will be important near the end, so let's stick a pin in that one for now.

Even though we get the Manager's narration, her music isn't present in the beginning of the episode. Instead, we get howling wind (more subdued, NOT the Owner's) and the sounds of the Manager's ragged breaths. Already the tone is eerie and unnerving. The listener can feel the Manager's discomfort and unease alongside her as she pushes through the dark, frozen forest. Occasionally, in the background, we hear a yell whoosh by.

The Manager is looking for something, though it's impossible for her to see anything. Something is pursuing her, a different something. She pushes onward, her steps more hurried and her breathing quickened and raspy until she finds it - the place she's supposed to be at. Her theme begins in the background as if it's a landmark. As if it isn't something attached to the Manager, but something the Manager attaches herself to.

And she does attach herself immediately, as soon as she's able. She seeks safety from the gibbering creature and finds solace in her role as Manager. She comforts herself with the certainty of the Hotel:

"The walls are thin, and brittle, and safe. In here, I am the pursuer. In here, endless will die, but never, ever me. From this one room, this one root, a new system will grow and change and consume. They will come to me and let themselves be swallowed like glass takes the night."

Then, she adds:

"But this night, when I should be alone to begin my work, I have to keep the fire lit in my little shack."

[Bolding is mine]

Here we see the light/dark dichotomy come up again. Recall 2.7 Return. I could gesture to basically the entire script for that episode, The Hotel Herself goes on the whole time about extinguishing the fire/lights/living beings that ended up inside her. Near the end, after sighing dramatically for a few minutes about the ennui and boredom of no longer getting satisfaction from killing, she says:

"Something is still roaming the rooms inside me. Painting with bright colors and vivid shapes. Something is taking those lights and turning them in godly tapestries.

Three lights of my own making couldn’t be put out. I turn my self inward and investigate the hollows of the worlds that live in me. What I find gives me for the first time, an exciting pang of surprise."

[Bolding/italics NOT mine]

I'll expand on this specific quote more in the Hotel's part. For right now, what's important is that the old crew staff are 'lights,' but not the same lights The Hotel has extinguished before. The way I see it personally, they're a composite, made from the leftover bits of thought and knowledge that float around the cosmic Hotel stew, if that makes any sense. They're more people than the Hotel is, but they're not really people at all.

From the Manager's dialogue, we can see what she doesn't understand at this point in time: Her role as Manager does not save or exempt her from death/darkness.

I'll get to where I consider s2 in the hotel time soup uhhh at some point in a later part. it's a whole thing. But for RIGHT NOW, if we're coming off of season 1, the Manager has never died before. And again, in the early seasons specifically, the staff feel like...almost people. Not human, but not not human.

The Manager has spent the first part of this episode pushing herself forward to escape the dark that has "frozen and obsidian limbs [that] threaten to shred [her] coat with tugging fingers." She shows her persistent, steadfast nature and incredible grit. But no matter how stubborn she is, no matter how perfectly she does her job...She's still part of the darkness. She facilitates it, invites it as she invites the guests in, but doesn't consider it a part of her. She clings to her role as Manager out of fear of death.

She holds down the fort, or in this case the tiny shack that is, I guess, her office. She tends the fire, though it gets smaller. The space that the Manager is inhabiting is…forming. Becoming itself, for lack of better wording. The lobby has started forming at this point. If she can just hold out long enough, then....But the gibbering creature, which "belongs here but [is not] supposed to be here," is there too. The dwindling fire doesn't keep it away.

The Manager attempts to grip with white, bleeding knuckles the safety of her position. She reasserts herself, reasserts the inevitability of escape at the Hotel in a futile attempt to glare down the gibbering creature. For her failure to understand, it bludgeons her to death.

(Until you have an understanding, you will receive only pain and time.)

The Manager wakes up to the sound of hammering in episode 2, Hammering Bones. It's no longer nighttime now. She observes the Hotel taking form as it's being built by laborers:

"For a long time I walk and trees bleed and weep and die and sweaty men who's faces I can't see hammer endlessly."

When she looks at them, her head tingles, presumably the lingering phantom pain of being clubbed to death earlier. She says she can feel them in her bones, quote, "hammering me together out of something cold and empty, while something cold and empty watches them."

She narrates as if she is the trees that are being cut down, clubbed with hammers and built into place. Her descriptions of the bleeding and dying trees here read to me as a dream within a dream, some subconscious part of herself grappling to force the sequence of events into a sensible shape.

That part of her, I think, is the human part. The fire, the light, that grants her the warm facade of the front desk manager allows her to draw in the guests. That part of her, then, would naturally fear being extinguished.

She remembers the gibbering creature, but does not run from it this time as it nears. It attacks her, hits again and again and the trees fall as she breaks apart. As she lies in the snow, bleeding and fracturing to death, she imagines the laborers now as "hurried, frightened men" who frantically try to build the lobby as fast as they can. But the Manager, who is entwined with - who IS - the lobby, now, imagines killing them. She imagines breaking them the way she was broken.

I take this as revenge fantasy for sure. She notes that as the workers die, she doesn't need them to hammer in order to build her (the lobby) up anymore. Their deaths sustain and build her.

Though she is satiated by this for a bit, the Manager once again remembers the 'nightmare,' the gibbering creature. Some of it comes back to her but she grows panicked trying and failing to remember what happened "in-between" her dying and waking up again this episode.

3.2 shows us the Manager's mindset and imagination. She entwines herself with the trees and the lobby. For a brief while in this dream-within-a-dream, she is as the Hotel is. A place. A lobby. But as she remembers, her fear creeps back in, overpowering her. She's not quite there yet. For her failure to understand, she is killed again by the gibbering creature.

(We haven't opened for business again yet.)

I don't have as much to say about 3.3 She Is Not Alone. We see the Manager in her element, here much more comfortable in the lobby. She wonders about the guests briefly as she examines and makes her way around the lobby. Though it is a fully formed lobby, it seems to be full of shadows that grow and shift around the place. The gibbering creature is still here too, of course.

Of it, she says:

"Something…something in my mind, not just my Hotel. I can almost remember and I rub my tingling face with a sharkskin-rough hand. What was it? Something inside me, something seeing me, something I could never escape."

[Bolding mine]

The shadows continue to engulf the lobby, slowly and steadily. She starts to remember that something happened, but decides she doesn't want to remember as the lobby dims further and further. The elevator dings, the doors open and close but nothing is there. The yelling in the distance is back, then flies by. The gibbering creature closes in.

But this time when the darkness approaches the Manager, she does not run from it. It surrounds her and she already knows she has nowhere to go, so she doesn't try. She lets it swallow her up and says:

"The cold I expected to feel wasn't there. The sharp, icy shadows only looked like they would cut; instead it folded me up in the dark warmth of the heart of the world and all that was left was me and-"

Then, the Lobby Boy shows up, signifying that the Manager's arc is near its end. We can see from this episode that she's coming to accept the darkness. Though it still unnerves and bothers her somewhat, she regards it, acknowledges it, and lets it wash over her and consume her (gay asf). Consequently, for her almost understanding, the gibbering creature does not kill her this time.

(I make so many pretty things...Listen to them gibber.)

Going into episode 4, the Manager seems to be back to her usual self - at her front desk, waiting and ready for the guest. By this point, she understands.

(Sidenote here: Part of why I feel this season is something that keeps happening is because this understanding doesn't completely stick to the Hotel's satisfaction. My read on the Hotel's dynamic with the old crew is that they keep being too annoyingly human and it's getting in the way of all the fun killing and like, really harshing her vibes, so she keeps putting them in these nightmare worlds as a sort of time-out punishment room. But they just keep coming back!)

Anyway, the Manager behaves as she would in, say, any given season 1 or early season 4 episode. She takes note of her lobby and her Lobby Boy. She sees the gibbering creature and recognizes it fully as a guest, a welcome and normal and expected part of the Hotel. She doesn't fear it, doesn't run from it. She only continues to do what's expected of her. She is the Manager. So, she manages.

As she does so, the Lobby Boy recoils and refuses to go along with this out of his own fear. For this, she's killed again by the gibbering creature. I think that one was just for funsies. (and also, for the lobby boy as we transition into his arc).

The gibbering creature is an element that will come up later towards the end with the Owner, but for now I want to talk about how it relates to the Manager specifically. To me, it represents her fear and the inevitability of death. She runs from the grabbing hands of the darkness, the shadows symbolizing death. She attempts to keep it at bay, imagines her attempts to fight it and get revenge on it. But no matter what she does, it always kills her....Almost.

The only time it doesn't is when she turns away from the memory of her death(s). She observes the darkness take over her lobby. And she simply accepts it. Remains as part of it. She lets it come as another inevitability of the Hotel. She understands now that death will come and take her again and again. But again, she is the Manager. She manages, and this is no different. She's stubborn, but adaptable like that.

Also, I didn't know where else to put this, but gah I LOVE how the Manager's arc starts with her outside the Hotel. With each death, she slowly moves more and more into it, even though she's also been in the lobby the entire time. She considers herself outside the Hotel's purview (that being, of course, death). Yet, each episode, she takes a step closer to understanding. By 3.4, she begins and ends in the lobby, fully integrated with the Hotel.

See, what I love most about S3 its tightness and cohesion. In the Manager's arc alone, we have thematic elements relevant to the Manager specifically, but also to the rest of the staff. They are individuals, but they're also like. cosmically attached at their cores to the Hotel. The writing, voice acting, and sound design all work together here to portray that.

Is it as linear and direct as, say, the Madam Hotel arc in season 4? No, but it doesn't need to be. As a story it does what it sets out to do and does it well. But I'll probably say that again in my next posts.

(We have nothing but time here. Time and pain, if you want it.)

As for the Lobby Boy....Join me next time, I will edit this portion with links to the next parts once I have them all posted. And thank you for reading if you got through all this!!! <3

[noxtivagus]

IDENTITY CRISIS WOOOO

[fastandcarlos]

Lucky Charm ~ Lando Norris

Summary: Y/N finally decides she’s ready to brave the chaos of race day at the paddock, and the boys are more than happy to give her the introduction she deserves

liked by georgerussell63, alex_albon, and 51,292 others

ynusername: imola here I come 🇮🇹

2,282 comments

username1: ofc she’s going to support lando

alex_albon: who said anything about lando?? maybe she’s there to cheer for me??

landonorris: can’t wait to see you bby 🔥

username3: I swear these two are complete goals

username4: it’s not fair how one person can be this pretty

carlossainz55: there’s a seat in ferrari with your name on

maxverstappen1: woah there! we’ve already called dibs on having her at red bull

landonorris: um excuse me…I think you’ll find y/n will be spending her weekend with me

ynusername: you lot are the worst 🤦🏻‍♀️

username5: I love seeing all my favourite people argue

username6: this is my highlight and the race hasn’t even begun yet…

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

landonorris just posted

liked by carlossainz55, oscarpiastri and 728,220 others

landonorris: race day ready with my lucky charm by my side 🍀

tagged: ynusername

83,271 comments

username7: mum and dad 🥺

ynusername: cannot wait to cheer for you tomorrow!! ily

landonorris: ily so much more ❤️

danielricciardo: @landonorris i love you more than y/n does

ynusername: @danielricciardo that’s impossible

username8: how have we survived waiting this long for paddock y/n and lando

charles_leclerc: it was worth the wait tho…right?

username9: can you pls just marry each other now and have lots of beautiful babies

alex_albon: how do you race for 2 hours and still manage to look this good norris

landonorris: @alex_albon you just need a y/n in your life, she always leaves me looking a million dollars

alex_albon: @lilymhe get better

ynusername: @alex_albon oi we do not accept lily slander in this household

landonorris: ahem, aside from me ofc

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

ynusername posted

liked by landonorris, lewishamilton and 39,201 others

ynusername: ready for the race and to cheer for my man! 🏎️🏁

tagged: landonorris

4,926 comments

carlossainz55: if you’re cheering for your man, why are you not wearing my shirt??

username10: excuse me sir?? you are very much mistaken

ynusername: if I was cheering for my favourite ex team mate of lando’s then you’d be my number 1 😍

danielricciardo: 💔💔💔💔

landonorris: did I ever tell you how good papaya looks on you?

landonorris: I just know I’ll win today with my lucky charm watching over me 🩷

username11: pls can we all adopt y/n as our lucky charm

francisca.cgomes: how have you been here 2 days and you’ve still not come to visit me

pierregasly: ha! she’s come to visit me, how does it feel to be second fave??

ynusername: @francisca.cgomes just saving the best til last aye

username12: if we do not see y/n at every race from now on there will be a protest

username13: I just want a love like theirs…is that too much to ask for??

georgerussell63: if you want a shirt upgrade y/n then just lemme know…

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

landonorris just posted

liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren and 1,291,749 others

landonorris: cloud nine ☁️ p1 and an evening with my best friend…what more could a guy want?

tagged: mclaren and ynusername

82,201 comments

oscarpiastri: that reminds me mate, I’m in the room next door, have you got any ear defenders?

ynusername: OSCAR PIASTRI!! SHUT YOUR MOUTH

landonorris: good idea, it’s gonna get loud tonight!

mclaren: another top week lando, well done! this lucky charm of yours might have to show up more often

username14: I don’t want this race weekend to end

username15: pls lord don’t let this be the last time we see y/n at a race

danielricciardo: congrats bud, fully deserved!!

maxverstappen1: a million dollars for y/n to be my lucky charm next weekend

landonorris: no amount of money will ever let me give y/n to you…she’s mine only

carlossainz55: is it possible to love two people more?

ynusername: stop with the third wheel dramatics!!

ynusername: had the best time ever!! can’t wait to do it all again soon my love 🩷

 ˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[chiharuhashibira]

What about a shorts featuring your fave Kimetsu No Yaiba teacher?

But make it Professor X Student👀

Hey guys~ Like what I said on the last chapter, here is the second and final part!

Again, thank you for answering the poll we had before!

Anyways, let’s start!

𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔: 𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒚

𝐊𝐲𝐨𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐤𝐮 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐓𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐧 𝐔𝐳𝐮𝐢 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐆𝐢𝐲𝐮 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐨𝐤𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐎𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐢 𝐈𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

<𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

Content Warnings: ProfessorXStudent/Age Gap/Suggestive/Curse Words/Matured Content/18+/Sexually Explicit/Risky Sex/Mentions of Death/Angst/Tragedy

Minors DNI.

🌸𝑶𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒂𝒊 𝑰𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒐🌸

(Images are not mine, credits to the rightful owner)

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“What should I say then? ‘Hi, I’m Obanai, the boy from the foster home who also didn’t manage to save your sister from the fire. How are you?’”

His words offended you. But before you could leave the room, a cold hand wrapped around yours, pulling you back inside his lonely classroom. You turned to look at him, and there, the nonchalant facade that Obanai always had shattered.

Frustrations and regret masked his face as he held your hand tighter, not letting you go. And without wasting a second...

"Y/N, I didn't know how to tell you," he confessed, his voice thick with emotion. "I thought it was best to leave the past buried."

But you couldn't suppress all the reminiscence that came flashing in her head—the smell of burnt wood, the shouts of the children as they cried because their teachers were left inside, your sight blurred by your tears, and the agony the bad news had brought to you.

"You're here now, unscathed. So why didn't you save my sister?"

Your voice trembled with the weight of the accusation, and your eyes were brimming with unshed tears. You were lost for words as you felt your knees weaken. But then Obanai sighed for the nth time as he let go of you. Immediately, you felt the cold air wash away the remnants of what his hand had held earlier.

"I tried but I can't."

"No. I guess you didn't try at all."

Anger flickered in Obanai's eyes, and you clearly saw it. It was as if you've unlocked something dark in him. In that instant, you realised that you shouldn't have said that. You shouldn't blame him. But before you can take back what you've said, Obanai has already spoken up.

"Fine. Blame me. I won't say anything again because, I guess, you'll never listen to me."

"Sensei..."

"Go home. I've got lots of things to do. See you in class tomorrow."

The coldness of the breeze blanketed you as you watched how darkness seemingly swallowed Obanai's expression. You waited for a bit for him to say anything, but nothing came. So with tears running down your face, you ran outside his lonely classroom. Your heart heaved from the loss that felt like it might swallow you whole.

Days have passed since you've learned the truth. And yet, the air remained on your shoulder, bearing the unspoken tension between you and Obanai. Yes, you've cried for nights once again, as if Shinobu's death was just yesterday. The devastation was too hard to bear, but you know you can't back away from what you've started.

You know your sister won't be happy to see you like this forever. Despite the storm raging within you, you came back to your senses and faced Obanai in his classes as professionally as you could.

"So, Y/N-san, what's the answer?"

You blinked in surprise as the familiar voice called your name. You stood up from your seat and faced him with oozing confidence, which made Obanai's eyes widen.

"Yes, even at freezing temperatures, water can remain liquid."

It was the first time in a while that Obanai looked into your eyes. And there, you've no traces of that darkness that he had back on that afternoon. For a while, no one has responded, and both of you just looked into each other's eyes, seemingly longing to put closure on what happened. However, Obanai looked away and spoke up with a cold tone.

"Correct."

You sat back and watched as the professor explained. But of course, you couldn't help but feel so guilty about the things you told him. Looking at him now, you just want to apologise for letting your emotions get the best of you.

And perhaps you might need to do that before your guilt turns into unnecessary anger.

Now, you're face-to-face with Obanai in his empty classroom. Yes, the professor is well aware of your presence, but he refused to acknowledge it. Oh well, not until you stood in front of him and spoke up.

"Where's Kaburamaru? I haven't seen him."

Surprise almost ebbed out of Obanai. Little did you know, but the chemistry professor was dying to talk to you. He had been longing to fix things, as he was well aware of how jerky he acted back then.

You were lost and in despair with the sudden information that he had revealed. Of course, you would react that way. Especially when he had left so much of the information unsaid.

But of course, he is Obanai. He won't let that emotion show. So, he immediately composed himself and faced you without any expression.

"Why do you care? Classes are done. Why are you here? Stop pestering me."

His words made your eyebrows crease. He's colder than usual, and that makes you feel a bit vulnerable. He has all the right to be angry and avoid you after what you did. So you clenched your fist and swallowed your pride.

"Are we seriously going to ignore the elephant in the room?"

"As far as I know, we're done with this discussion—"

"I'm a bitch for blaming you. I didn't know what really happened back then. I just assumed things. I let myself be consumed by my overwhelming emotions. I know it's not an excuse for saying those words to you but sensei, I want to know what happened. And I'm so sorry."

"I'm busy, Y/N-san. Can't you see?"

You groaned, feeling that anytime soon you'd scream with frustration. Desperate to talk to him and knowing everything that happened in the past, you came up with an idea. You leaned in on his desk and spoke up in a low tone of voice.

"If you're so busy right now, meet me at 10 tonight. I'll wait for you in that same coffee shop, Obanai."

Before he can say anything again, you've turned your back and left. If what he said back there is true, if he really cares, then he'll come.

Clad in an off-shoulder blue top, a red skirt, and black rubber shoes, you found yourself fiddling with your hair as you waited unsurely for Obanai. You really can't blame him if he doesn't come at all, as, first and foremost, he is your chemistry professor. You're well aware that he shouldn't have these kinds of rendezvouses with his students.

Secondly, you've been a little shit for blaming him for the death of Shinobu and for making him feel guilty for surviving that tragedy. If you could just turn back time, you wouldn't have reacted that way.

Thirdly, it's possible that Obanai now despises you. You felt sick in the pit of your stomach at the notion of him hating you. Despite all the shit that has been happening, you can't hide the fact that you still like your professor.

His eyes—those rare heterochromatic eyes and his voice—can all send you to heaven, for all you care. Why hasn't it come to your mind that the boy before had those same beautiful eyes? So that's the reason why you have always found it so enigmatic.

But like before with science, you've messed things up again.

You felt hopeless as you looked at the time. It's past ten, almost eleven. And as if fate hated you, the owner sauntered towards you and told you that they'd be closing the shop.

Feeling embarrassed, you stood up and left, apologising for the bother.

And here you are now, standing in front of the closed coffee shop, as it started to thunder and drizzle. It's past eleven, almost twelve, and still, Obanai isn't here.

You felt your heart hurt in this situation. Tears started to fall on your cheek as you let all your frustrations get ahold of you. Of course, why would he show up?

Crouching down, rain started to pour, but you refused to leave, thinking that perhaps he'd come if you'd wait for a few more minutes.

But no, it's only two minutes before the clock strikes midnight, and yet, there's still no traces of Obanai Iguro.

Soaked in the rain, you covered your face as your sobs became louder. All you wanted to do was apologise and know what happened, and yet, it seems like it won't happen anymore.

"Y/N. Why are you here?"

Hearing that familiar voice, you felt your heart start to race. You looked up and there; those enigmatic heterochromatic eyes clashed with yours. Suddenly, you felt an arm wrapping around yours, pulling you under the protection of his umbrella.

Obanai groaned and took off his jacket, wrapping it over your shoulder.

"Why the fuck would you wait for me under the rain? You should've gone home, dimwit."

"I told you I'd wait."

"But why? Nothing will change Y/N."

"Because I want you to forgive me. Because I want to know what happened. Because I want you to... to be angry at me anymore."

"Whatever. I can't leave you like this. You're soaked to the bone. Ugh, fuck this, come with me."

Your eyes widened with his words. But you didn't complain or ask for more information. You let Obanai lead you to an apartment complex.

Yes, you didn't make any sound, even until he brought you inside his home.

"Sit there. I'll grab some towels and clothes."

Waiting for Obanai to come back from inside his bedroom felt like forever. So then, you looked around, observing his place. The apartment isn't big, but it isn't small either. It lacks colour, and yet the scent of lavender welcomed you. It's quite comforting, unlike your seemingly cold-hearted professor.

You let your eyes wander around as you shivered through your wet clothes. There are tonnes of books, and you assumed that all of those relate to chemistry. You started to wonder how many hours did he stay here to just read those. There's a lot so, what drove him to spend those time, just doing that?

And there on the corner was Kaburamaru, slithering inside his shelter.

But the thing that caught your attention was the picture on his study table. You stood up from your seat and sauntered towards it. You felt warm in your chest as the image registered in your senses.

There, you saw a glimpse of your sister's smiling face. Her beauty is immortalised in this image. And there beside her was a girl who wore braids. Memories of this girl braiding your hair like what you do to yourself came flashing in your head.

Mitsuri-san.

You looked at her little image beside Obanai, who had that small smile painted on his face. Yes, they look happy in this picture, and perhaps it was taken back when they were still volunteering for that foster home.

"What are you doing?"

Obanai's cold voice almost made you faint. You turned around, and there you saw him holding the towel and an oversized shirt.

"Nothing. I just saw a photo of the three of you."

"And who allowed you to go through my things?"

"Sorry, sensei. I was just curious."

"Whatever," Obanai said, then tossed you the towel and shirt. "Go get change. I already cleaned the bedroom so you can stay for the night. Don't worry, I'll sleep on the couch. I'll walk you home tomorrow when the storm calms down."

So, he'll let me stay? You thought as you gave him a faint smile, which made him look away. "Thank you, sensei."

After that encounter, you headed to his bedroom and looked around once again. The scent of lavender smells stronger here, but in a good way. Perhaps Obanai wants to calm himself so badly with this scent. It works well, though. Your anxiousness seemed to fade away.

His room is full of books too. But what surprised you again is the other photo on his bedside table. It was still the three of them. But here, Mitsuri was hugging him... He was smiling.

A pang of pain hit your chest as you decided to saunter quickly in the shower. Yet, even if you wanted to ignore the thought so badly while showering and even dressing, you couldn't help but wonder if he and Mitsuri were a thing before.

Possibly... They're close.

And she's nice; she probably won't say the things you told him before. Yes, Mitsuri is a great woman, just like your sister. It's just so sad that their lives ended before they could flourish for something more.

"You okay there, Y/N?"

You turned, and there you saw Obanai standing by the door, giving you a curious look. 

You wanted to ask so badly, but you stopped yourself by biting your lip. But then, Obanai seems to notice. He sauntered inside his bedroom and placed the photo inside his drawer.

"I know you want to ask things. Ask now before I change my mind."

Obanai said as he took off his facemask and fixed his hair. You were astounded to see him without the facemask again. You can't still believe the fact that he's really that mysterious boy from the foster home.

"Sen—"

"Obanai."

"Oh, Obanai, are you and Mitsuri—"

"Almost."

Your face dropped; it seems like there are tonnes of secrets living inside this lad. For some reason, you wanted to know. He gave you this chance, so,

"Almost? What do you mean?"

"Mitsuri's the only girl who made me feel like a normal boy back in the foster home. But I never got the chance to tell her my feelings. I was about to confess when the fire happened."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's okay. It's been too long and I've moved on. But honestly, when I first saw you in a braid back then at the coffee shop, you suddenly reminded me of her."

"Obanai..."

"But then it was just that time. Because you're really different from her."

"Of course. I'm not as nice as Mitsuri-san. Not as pretty as her either."

"Not that. You're... fuck it. You're nice and pretty... and smart, okay? Stop saying that. It's something else. It's more than your physical appearance."

"Then what? Do I remind you of my sister, instead? She raised me so—"

"Not that either. You remind me of... my younger self. Not Mitsuri or even your sister. You're like the young Obanai who hated everything for the pain the world has brought to him. The one who chose to use that loath to try to be in a better place. I'm not saying I am a hundred percent alright now. But it's just that I don't hate the world as much as I did back then. We got to celebrate little wins, right?"

His words crept into your senses and sent you a cold shiver. What does he mean? You felt like you were lost for words as you looked at Obanai and tried to analyse what you heard.

Suddenly, you felt his hands on your cheek again. There, you were sent to the first time he did this. It was when these revelations happened. So what will happen now?

Like a pack of wolves, your anxiousness started to prey on you. Your breathing slowed down, and you felt the tension in the air as Obanai leaned in to embrace you.

"I'm sorry that I made you wait. It was a jerk move."

Without words, you let yourself embrace him back, burying your face in his body. His apology sounded genuine, which made you feel a bit better.

Warmth suddenly flowed within you as you felt Obanai's hand caressing the back of your head, letting his cold fingers run through your locks. With that sensation, you weren't able to stop yourself from wanting him to stay.

"Can you stay here with me, Obanai?" You whispered, which made the man pull out from the embrace. "Why?"

"It's just... I want to know everything. I want to hear what happened."

You heard him sigh as he sat beside you. There, he looked nothing like the Obanai Iguro at the university. He looked nothing like your stern chemistry professor who is apparently allergic to women.

In this moment, he just looked like a normal guy, solid, warm but might be vulnerable. Just like how he looked back then when he was younger, but prettier.

"It's a long story."

"We have all night."

"Fine."

The night passed quickly, and yet you and Obanai didn't notice it.

He told you everything that happened back then, after the last time you'd seen him in that garden. Apparently, he was taken in by the Rengokus with Mitsuri.

He told you how Kyojuro and Mitsuri helped him come back to his senses. They are both reasons why he wanted to be a chemistry professor. It's a payback for how nice they were.

And yes, he had these little visits at the foster home by then, curious to see where the 'girl who weren't afraid of snakes' was. But you weren't there anymore, as you were taken in by the Kochos.

Time passed, and there he met with Shinobu once again as his co-worker. But back then, he had no idea that you were a part of her family. And yes, he didn't ask.

She seemed nice to Mitsuri and to him. But, of course, he didn't reciprocate well. He can't, as he was apparently 'allergic to women' or, more like, hated them, as his family, which is full of women, used to abuse him before.

He treated Shinobu as just a colleague, but never a friend.

But Mitsuri is an exemption as he grew with her. She proved to him that not all women are bad. And yes, he developed feelings for Mitsuri. But he can't reveal it, as he was too afraid. Not until it's too late.

Obanai told you that he was wrapping up his night classes back then when suddenly there was an explosion somewhere in the building. Afraid of what it might be and the consequences, Obanai ran towards it, and there he saw Mitsuri... dead.

It was too late to save her. He can't help but to wonder what if he just arrived a few moments earlier. Would his first love still be alive?

Obanai told you how it ebbed out all the remaining strength in his body. He just wanted to die.

But then he heard another voice from the room, and there he had a glimpse of an injured Shinobu, who was carrying a child. She ran towards him and told him to get the child out of the building, as she would try to look around to see if there were other children left.

And with the shock of seeing Mitsuri dead, he just followed Shinobu's orders and brought the child out to safety.

But then he realised that he shouldn't let his emotions get ahead of him, as there might be other children left inside. So then he ran back inside, and there he saw the weakened Shinobu under a fallen pillar. Obanai tried to save her, but then the girl refused and pointed towards a little girl who was crying on the corner.

She told him to save the child instead, despite all his complaints. He had no choice but to go to the little girl to save her as even if he tried every thing, there is no way that he can pull Shinobu out of the collapsed pillar. Besides, she was too injured.

"I didn't want to leave but Shinobu insisted. She told me that she would never sacrifice anyone for her sake."

Obanai paused to hold your hand as you started crying from what you are hearing right now.

"And there... your sister made me promise. She told me that if ever I see her youngest sister someday, I should do my best to bring her passion for science back. She told me that you were mad at her that day because she told you that she needed to leave for her science project at the foster home. She already knows that you'll hate science, as you might think that it is the reason why she'll die. But she never wanted you to feel that. It was no one's fault. Y/N, she loves you so much."

"Is that the reason why you gave me that notebook?"

"Yes... I always had that notebook because I always thought that perhaps someday I'd meet her sister. I actually prepared it for you in case what Shinobu said became true, and it did. I wanted to fulfill that promise so bad."

"I-I hated science because of what happened. My sister would've been alive by now if she didn't leave that night... But, perhaps that's really what we do if we love something?"

"She loves you more than anything Y/N. Always remember that. No one knew that the tragedy would happen..."

"Yes... I'm sorry for being so illogical Obanai. I am trying my best but... it still hurts a lot."

"No, it's okay. You didn't know. And you should take your time to heal yourself. There's no rush..."

"Thanks. But still... Why did you make this effort at all? Why did you want to fulfill that promise if my sister isn't important at all to you?"

"I don't know. I think it's how I dealt with the guilt of not saving those two—Mitsuri and Shinobu. I always thought that if I couldn't save them, perhaps I could help you? But I really didn't know if what I am doing right now helps you. Perhaps I should've buried—."

"Obanai, don't say that. You... you helped me a lot. And yes, I know you already made Mitsuri and my sister proud of this. And I can't thank you enough for these efforts that you've already made for someone whom you haven't met yet.."

Tears suddenly poured out of Obanai's eyes after hearing those words coming out of you. It's like the knife that has been stabbing him again and again all these years was suddenly pulled out, and there you are, trying to heal his wounds again.

You, on the other hand, realised what your sister's love could do. And you ended up crying too as you realised how wrong you were for telling Obanai that he never tried to save them. He did. He tried his best.

Seeing the strong Obanai breaking down made you feel more vulnerable, and suddenly, you felt the urge to slowly lean in and give him a passionate kiss.

Obanai was stunned. Never in his life has he experienced this. No one has ever looked at him this way after Mitsuri's death. But then, here you are now, kissing him passionately. He had tonnes of questions in mind. But then he shoved all of those and buried them deep within his mind as he let his hands slip around your body.

Warmth embraced the both of you as Obanai started kissing back, slowly pushing you down on the mattress. But then, before he got carried away, he pulled out, blushing so madly.

Drunk in passion and confusion, you opened your eyes, and there you saw Obanai trying to look away. So then, you sat and looked on your lap, feeling the regret of letting your passion take over.

"Sorry Obanai..."

"It's okay."

"I just wanted to... thank you, but I got carried away. I'm so sorry."

"Is that all that kiss was for? Just to thank me?"

His question made you think hard, because what would you answer? Is he expecting you to say yes or no? Confusion blinded you as you felt your hands start to shiver. It's just all too much for tonight.

Obanai noticed it, so he decided to drop the issue and speak up in a calmer tone. "I guess we can talk about this tomorrow. I'm sorry for scaring you again."

He was about to go when suddenly you pulled his hand again and said, "Stay with me, please."

Falling for that beautiful look you had now as you flaunt your vulnerability to him, Obanai can't do anything but agree. And there he stayed the night, lying beside you to caress your hair as you drifted into sleep.

Little did you know that as you slept, the man looked at you, thinking how he'd want to risk everything just to protect you. He touched your cheek and kissed your forehead. Obanai couldn't stop himself from taking in your wonderful image.

Questions are still in his head, especially about the reason behind that kiss. He felt his heart racing once again as he looked at you. He never wanted to be with anyone, but now he thinks he is starting to fall in love again.

All he knows right now is that he adores you, so he wanted to know you better. 

Obanai stopped praying. He has never prayed since the night when he escaped his abusive family. But then this night, he prayed so hard that fate would let him be with you. He also prayed that Mitsuri and Shinobu wouldn't kill him for feeling this intense passion for you. 

He wants nothing but to be there for you. Aside from protecting you, Obanai would want to risk everything to lift the burden inside of you, even just a little.

It's the least that he can do, as you gave him another chance in life and made him feel like a normal guy again. And for a while, it was peace that he felt right now as you slept on his arms.

Feeling a bit hazy, you opened your eyes, and there, the scene that you never expected to see welcomed you. Obanai was there, facing you as he slept quietly. His hand was wrapped around your body, making you blush hard. The man looked like it was the first time that he had slept this peacefully in years.

Seeing him like this ignited your passion, which made you want to caress his cheek. Suddenly, faint fragments of the night came into you, which in turn made you redder than you already are. You felt your body heat up as you remembered that you'd kissed this guy last night.

Yes, you kissed your chemistry professor.

It's insane, but you also remembered how you made him confused with the words that you'd told him after. Then it finally hit you... How can you face him at class so casually again after that night? Aside from those heavy revelations, there seems to be a deeper connection that is happening with both of you now.

So even if you still wanted to lay there and just stare at his wonderful face, you slowly lifted up his arms and crawled out of bed. You sneaked towards the window to see if the rain had gone away. It was all stormy last night, but then, it's good to know that the sun is shining brightly today.

You were about to head out of his bedroom, as you badly wanted to sneak out. You just don't know how to react in front of him after everything, and you want to just escape the possible awkward encounter.

But then, just before you could make another step out of his bedroom, Obanai's sleepy voice made you turn to look at him. "What time is it?" He asked as he rubbed his eyes with his hand and stretched his back.

Gulping before you spoke, you looked at the wall clock and spoke up with a trembling tone. "Seven in the morning. I have classes around nine. I should get going." Obanai perked up, realisation coming into his senses.

"Gosh, I almost forgot... I'll cook you breakfast. Wait."

Obanai stood up from the bed, making you bite your lip. As if his intrusive thoughts overtook him, he ruffled your hair before heading out of his bedroom.

Realising that you're all alone again, inside his bedroom, you felt your knees finally give out, and you fell to the ground. How can he act so casual about this? You thought as you blushed madly.

But then, you quickly got on your feet as you realised that even if you ran back to your house to change, you'd still be late. You walked quickly to the kitchen, and there, you saw Obanai making two omelettes.

Your heartbeat rushed as your eyes met. Obanai smiled at you, which almost made you melt. He looks nothing like yesterday. It's like all the grumpiness in him was suddenly gone.

"You hungry? I'll be finished cooking in a few minutes. If you want, you can take a shower now. I have some hoodies and pants that I think would fit you."

You blushed at the thought of you wearing his clothes to the university. "Won't people notice that I'm wearing your clothes?" You asked, fiddling with your fingers.

Obanai tilted his head to the side while looking at you. "Have you seen me wear hoodies at the university?"

"No."

"Then no. Go take a shower now."

You wanted to complain, but as if you were automated to do so, you headed to the bathroom and took a shower. It was surprising to see a lilac hoodie and black pants prepared for you at the bed.

A small smile crept onto your lips. You never expected that Obanai would be this caring. But then, you reminded yourself that perhaps he is just doing this because of his promise to your sister.

Sighing, you put on his clothes and fixed yourself. You know that you shouldn't bother yourself with these thoughts, so you tried shoving them deep within your head.

You went out of the bedroom and were astounded to see the delectable dish that the man had prepared for you.

Obanai appeared out of nowhere, from behind your back. "Y/N, I've already eaten. I'll just take a quick shower, and then we'll head to the university. There's a spare toothbrush that I've prepared there. Feel free to use my comb as well."

"Yes, sir," you said, blushing, and there, Obanai finally left again.

You could see how Kaburamaru stared at you in the corner of your eye. You smiled at him and then proceeded to finish your breakfast and fix yourself.

Obanai emerged from his bedroom, and yes, the lavender smell made you turn your head towards him. He was clad in his usual formal clothing and oversized lab coat again, with that face mask.

You suddenly wanted to tease him, and so you did.

"It looks like my grumpy sensei is back."

He facepalmed and sauntered towards you. You were astounded by the next actions that he took. Cornering you on the wall, Obanai pulled down his facemask and leaned in to kiss you.

A yelp escaped from your mouth, but then you found yourself leaning in to kiss him back. It seems like your vision was filled with fireworks as you felt warmth burning at the pit of your stomach.

Obanai suddenly pulled out, panting from the intense kiss. Before you could say anything, the chemistry professor finally spoke up. "I don't think I could just be your 'sensei' after last night. If you really just kissed me just to thank me, I'll do everything to change that. Y/N. I don't care anymore, but I want you to be mine."

Panting while trying to suppress all your moans, you found yourself skin-to-skin with your chemistry professor. Obanai covered your mouth as your nails dug into his back.

"Obanai... Mmmm, yes..."

"Sshh, if you'll not be quiet, someone might hear us."

Obanai bit you on your shoulder as he wildly thrusted his throbbing cock inside of you. Making your eyes roll back because of the sensation that he is giving you, a loud moan almost slipped out of your mouth. Thankfully, Obanai managed to cover your mouth before you could scream in pleasure.

But as the pleasure started to engulf you, you started to wonder. How did this happen?

Flashback:

Days have passed since Obanai's confession, and yet you still haven't told him about your real feelings. It's like, whenever you feel that you're ready, you'll end up swallowing the words back again.

So then, Obanai is still oblivious to your feelings. And when we say oblivious, it also means that it makes him more determined to court you. Yes, he is well aware that this could be wrong in the eyes of others. But then, he wanted nothing but to protect you and help you heal.

He wanted to fulfil his promise to Shinobu, but he also didn't want to commit the same mistakes that he had done to Mitsuri. He won't let things become too late before he makes a move.

At school hours, Obanai remained professional—and, of course, grumpy—to all of his students. You are not an exception to this. But then, after classes, the chemistry professor would pull you into an empty hall, away from prying eyes, just to give you your favourite snack or a flower.

Yes, he courted you like a gentleman. Even if it is behind the curtains of being acceptable to all, you can't help but fall for him more.

So then one day, when your curiosity took over, you directly told Obanai something that made him flabbergasted to the bone.

"Are you doing all of this because of the promise that you had with my sister? Because if you're just efforting for that, please just stay as my professor. I can't risk everything if I know I'll be in a situation wherein I'm going to lose more than myself."

Clicking his tongue, Obanai raised his eyebrow at you. "Here you go again with your assumptions," he said with a tone of dismay in his voice.

"I just want to be sure because, just to be clear, you don't have any responsibility for me. I'm a grown woman."

"And I'm well aware of that. I'm not stupid."

"You're not stupid, but I might be. So please just stop this if you're just doing it because of that promise or because I remind you of Mitsuri-san...."

"No. You're wrong. I'm doing this because I like you. Okay? You are good to me even if I was being an all-time jerk. You treated me like a normal guy. And it always feels like I've known you forever."

Hearing those words coming from his mouth, with the clear truth painted on his heterochromatic eyes, you felt your heart rise. And there, finally, you spoke the words that Obanai had been wanting to hear.

"I-I like you too, sensei."

"Y/N..."

Before you could reply, Obanai tugged off his facemask and snaked his arms around you, pulling you into a passionate kiss. There, you felt your knees weaken as you submitted to his strong arms. Never have you imagined in your life that the boy who saved you from being bit by Kaburamaru when you were younger would also be this man who ended up falling for you.

Taken by his emotions, Obanai slowly bit your lip, letting his hands slip under your shirt. Without caring that anyone could enter the room by now, you let his tongue slip inside your mouth, with the kiss only ending with the both of you fighting for dominance.

Heat crept up on your body as you felt his usual cold hands run on your body. With shivers running up your spine, you pulled out and looked into Obanai's eyes. Surprised by the passion painted on his marvellous orbs, you caressed his face and gave him a soft smile.

"I'm all yours, Obanai," you whispered before leaning in to kiss his lips.

Little did you know, your words flipped a switch on Obanai, giving him the strength to carry you to the table. Slowly, his lips went down on your jaw, planting ticklish kisses that went down on your collarbone. A soft moan escaped from your lips as you wrapped your hands around his neck.

That made the chemistry professor look up at you and caress your face. "I want you, Y/N." His words were vague, but you already know what he means. And yes, how could you resist those wonderful eyes and that fierce expression on his face? He was hungry for your touch.

You didn't answer; you spread your legs, inviting him to move closer to you. And there, Obanai gulped and positioned your body between your thighs. There, you slowly felt his hard member, cloaked under his pants, as he slowly grinded on you while kissing you deeply.

And there, another moan escaped your lips, which in turn made Obanai harder than he already is. "Oh, you make me want to fuck you so bad right now," he whispered in your ear, with a voice so sensual that it made you almost cum.

"I want you too, Obanai."

"Are you sure?" He asked as he ran his hands on your hair. You nodded, and there, a small smile managed to escape from his senses. Without saying a word, Obanai's hands worked up on your shirt, taking it off you. Slowly, he opened your bra, making you gasp as the sudden coldness of the room embraced you.

Slowly, Obanai removed his lab coat and shirt, making you gasp as you saw a burn mark on his chest. You touched it gently, making the man bite his lip.

You felt a pinch on your chest with what you saw. He must have gotten that burn mark back that night. So then, even if you knew it wouldn't heal it, you slowly planted kisses on it, making Obanai moan loudly.

Slowly, Obanai slipped his finger under your skirt, pulling your pants to the side. And there, he slowly ran his hands on your wet slit. "Fuck..." you mumbled as you buried your face on his bare chest, licking his scar down to his sensitive nipples.

Pain and pleasure embraced you as suddenly, Obanai slipped two of his fingers inside of you. "Fuck, so tight," he said as he laid you down on the table, spreading you open like a book. And there, his mouth worked on your nipples, nibbling and licking them as he continued to finger-fuck you with an unpredictable rhythm.

"I'm near," you whispered as he fingered you faster. But then, after hearing that, the man stopped and kissed your lips instead.

"I'm so hard right now..." He whispered, making you wetter than you already are. "Fuck me then." You said confidently, ignoring the fact that it'll be your first time if he does what you're suggesting.

"You sure? It'll be my—"

You were astounded by what he was going to say, but then you cut it off by saying, "It's mine too... And I want it to be you. Make love with me, Obanai." You said, making the man nod.

With your words, Obanai pulled down his pants, and there, his hardened cock surprised you. You spread your legs more as Obanai positioned his cock on your entrance, rubbing it against it to tease you.

Feeling impatient, you pulled him close to you and gave him a deep kiss as he slowly entered you. The pain that you felt eventually subsided as Obanai thrust himself in and out of you, whispering how he loved you.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, letting him go deeper into you. But then, just as before you could feel your climax, a knock stunned the both of you.

"Iguro-sensei? Are you here?"

Realising that the door wasn't locked, your heart thumped hard. "Fuck," Obanai groaned as he carried you from the table, still not pulling out. He kicked your clothes under the table as he commanded you to bend down under the table so that nobody could see you.

No one should see you in this state except him!

So there, you followed him and bent down under the table, with his cock still inside of you. Obanai put on his shirt and lab coat, draping them on you.

And there, your heart thumped harder. But the risk he is putting you in right now didn't stop you from feeling more aroused. He signalled for you to shut up, and there he spoke up with his usual uninterested voice, letting the student into his classroom.

"What do you want?"

"Sensei, you have no facemask," Nezuko said, surprised to see their professor like that for the first time.

"So? What do you need, idiot?"

The innocent Nezuko came in and spoke up. "Iguro-sensei, I just want to ask if you have seen Y/N. Our next class will start, but she still isn't around."

You felt a bit guilty for making your classmate worry, but then you knew that you couldn't just show up right now. Looking up, you saw Obanai flash you a 'you're dead' look that made you gulp. The professor hates it when students skip classes, and now you're skipping one to get fucked by him.

Obanai groaned at Nezuko. "Do I look like a babysitter? She's not here, can't you see? Go find her somewhere else. Perhaps she's out there slacking off or what, for all I care."

"Sorry sensei..."

"Go out and lock the door before closing it."

A few seconds after Nezuko left and locked the door, Obanai yanked you out of the table with your hair and bent you on the table.

"So, you're skipping classes now, huh? I'm going to fuck you so hard for this. Bad girl."

Obanai said, not letting you speak as he thrust deeper and harder into your wet pussy, making you moan loudly. He took off his remaining clothing again and yanked your hair harder as he grinded in his cock on your damped hole.

"Fuck, you feel so good."

End of flashback

"Obanai... Mmmm, yes..."

"Sshh, if you'll not be quiet, someone might hear us."

Obanai bit you on your shoulder as he slowly inserted his throbbing cock inside of you. Making your eyes roll back because of the sensation that he is giving you, a loud moan almost slipped out of your mouth. Thankfully, Obanai managed to cover your mouth before you could scream in pleasure.

With your orgasm building inside of you, you felt yourself tearing up. Obanai kissed your neck, groped your breasts, and played with your nipples as he fucked you hard.

"Fuck, I'm near..." He said, turning you over to face him now. There, he laid you on the floor, with your lustful and passionate eyes locked with each other. "I want to see your face as you cum." He said, and there, Obanai started slipping his cock in and out of you as his right hand worked to rub your clit.

With the overstimulation, you can't help but wrap your legs around him, pulling him down to kiss him deeply as you tear up with the sensation that you are feeling.

And there, as if atoms had collided, you felt an explosion inside of you as your sweet juices mixed with Obanai's cum. "Fuck!" He said as you bit his shoulder, letting the pleasure take over.

With his thrusts slowing down, Obanai collapsed over you, panting. You ran your hands on his hair and buried your face in the crook of his neck. Your heart is racing with the rhythm of his.

"I love you, Obanai."

"I love you too. You're mine."

"I'm yours."

You looked at the sky, letting the cold breeze caress your skin. Resting on your lap was Obanai, who was petting Kaburamaru.

You looked down on the chemistry professor, and realisation hit you again. This marvellous man is yours. Who would have thought that the boy you've met at the foster home would change your life?

And there, you realised that if Shinobu and Mitsuri could see the both of you now, perhaps they would be happy. You know how those girls wanted you and Obanai to be happy before, and now it happens because you found love with each other.

And it's true, Obanai had seen his old self in you, but now it's different.

Like he had said before, both of you are not a hundred percent alright right now. But it's just that you don't hate the world as much as you did back then. And yes, you have to celebrate little wins, right?

And now, celebrating will be better, as you will get to celebrate it with the one you love every day.

𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓢𝓹𝓮𝓬𝓲𝓪𝓵 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓼 𝓥𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓲𝓸𝓷!

Phew! All done with the Special Classes series finally! How has it been for you? XD I hope you enjoyed reading every single version!

It was quite hard writing Obanai's piece as it became deeper than I expected it to be (yes, I guess... he'll want it deep 🤭) But kidding aside! I enjoyed writing this as much as I wanted sleep hahahahaha!

Love yah all and thank you for the support as always! Feel free to reblog, request, and comment!

See you on the next series that I'm making (Tsugoku X Male Hashira and Oiran X Male Hashira) and the other one shots that I am preparing.

I'll be accommodating reqs as soon as my sched clears out UwU

Thank you again, minna-san!

MDNI!

Ja ne~

~𝓒𝓱𝓲𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓾-𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷🌸

𝐊𝐲𝐨𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐤𝐮 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐓𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐧 𝐔𝐳𝐮𝐢 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐆𝐢𝐲𝐮 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐨𝐤𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐎𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐢 𝐈𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

<𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

[twicesserafim]

Masterlist..

Sakuras Cousin:

Yunjin x Fem!reader.

You're sakuras cousin, you and yunjin both have an interest in each other but a specific member doesn't like that. (sakura) So you part ways, go through multiple different challenges in your relationship, making it rocky and difficult. Feelings get hurt, tears get shed, will you guys make it and last until the end? ... -Ongoing-

1. Not aloud

2. Flirting

3. Instagram

4. Cute

5. Mine

6. Caught by kkura

7. Blondie

8. Dinner date

9. Matching post

10. Chefs

11. My fave streamer

12. Railing

13. I'm sorry.

14. The truth

15. Kim Minju

16. Jealousy over a hoodie

17. Wait, what?

18. Getaway

19. Jealous Jen

20. Get married 👍

21. The world is healing

22. Uh-oh

23. 2Kim

24. Talk it out

25. Make out

26. Good golly

27. "STOP MAKING FUN OF MY SPELLING."

28. You're so horny

29. HWSHSHICEOA

30. Surprise?

31. Your Girl.

32. Posting again??

33. Quotes

34. Pr or no?

35. Babies

36. Damn..

37. In love with you.

38. That's our song.

39. Public.

40. Low blow.

41. Reality check.

42. Not for you.

43. Money, Money, Money.

44. Scandal Saviour

44. Are you insane??

45. Too fine

Fall in love with you.

Sakura x Fem!reader

You've been a fan of sakura for as long as you remember, it's always been a joke that sakura's your girlfriend. You're an influencer but half of your page ends up being sakura. But little did you know, she's a fan of you too. What happens when one day, she reaches out to you.. but she's nothing like you imagined? ... -Ongoing-

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

Teenage love.

Eunchae and Y/n experiencing teenage love together for the first time, but one mistake makes their relationship more risky and a lot more effort had to be put in. Can they do it? ... -Ongoing-

Eunchae x Fem!Reader

Dammit.

Run.

Try Again.

Forbiddingly Yours.

In a world where loving someone with a different surname is forbidden, but the two daughters of the most respected and well known families of Taiwan fall in love with each other. Chou Tzuyu and Lu Y/n. Can they keep things hidden? ... - Ongoing -

Tzuyu x Fem!reader

Intro!

[1] First talk

[2] I'm yours

[3] Melting

[4] Uh oh..

[5] Did it hurt?

[6] Seriously?

[7] Cheater!

[8] Lying.

[9] Break up.

[10] Falling.

[11] Explaining.

[12] Try again.

[13] Mine all mine.

[14] My love.

[15] What?

[16] Giving Up.

[17] Screw you.

[18] It's over.

[19] She needs to know.

[20] Korea and Vietnam.

[21] Secret Lu.

[22] Is it mine?

[23] Choices.

[24] Win her back.

[25] Won their love.

[26] Anniversary.

[27] Truly yours.

[28] Twice?

[29] Well..

[30] You didn't tell me??

To be continued...

Have Faith In Me

Kim Minji and Lu Y/n. One new jeans member, One lesserafim member. They get paired up as roommates for the new reality show of living with Nwjs and Lsfm made by their managements. They start off on the wrong foot but slowly get along.. -Ongoing-

Kim Minji x Fem!Reader

(Lsfm profiles) (Lsfm contact names)

1. Dorm arrangement

2. Word on the street

3. Bad first meet!

4. Physical!

5. Bad plans

6. Okay so..

7. Danielle

8. Hotel room

9. Girlfriend

10. Vietnamese Lesson

11. Loser

12. Pochacco war

13. Em yêu chị

A/N: CHANGE OF PLANS. Y/N IS BORN 2002. BUT EUNCHAE DOESNT CALL HER UNNIE HALF OF THE TIME.

One-shots..

A collection of my short stories/one shots 😁

Lesserafim..

Miyawaki Sakura:

All couples fight. [A]

Back the fuck up. [A, S, F]

Change for us, since you ruined me. [A, S, F]

Jealous g!p sakura [S]

Huh Yunjin:

Expect the unexpected [S]

Kim Chaewon:

nothing yet..

Nakamura Kazuha:

None yet...

Hong Eunchae:

Dammit. [F]

Run. [F]

Try Again. [F]

Twice..

Im Nayeon:

Not Over You. [F]

Yoo Jeongyeon

nothing yet..

Hirai Momo:

nothing yet..

Minatozaki Sana:

Falling for you. [F, A]

After Breakup Jealousy [A, F]

Park Jihyo:

nothing yet..

Myoui Mina:

nothing yet..

Kim Dahyun:

nothing yet..

Son Chaeyoung:

nothing yet..

Chou Tzuyu:

Long Distance [A, F]

New Jeans..

Kim Minji:

Campus Crush [A, F, S]

Kang Haerin:

Jealous Y/n [F]

Gf texts [F]

Second masterlist!

[clubdionysus]

[BAD DECISION #35] Saying 'Please'

warnings: clubbing, drinking, existential thoughts and DMCs, kissing <33 another fave chapter of mine!! wholesome! also i think this is the wrong header....i think it might belong to the next chapter.... so if u see it change, that's why!!

wc: 6.8k

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

"Hold still," you giggle as you sit with Jeongguk in the Dionysus staff room. 

It's dark, with only a small lamp to illuminate the room, and yet the energy between you both is electric. There's no need for anything else.

"I am holding still," he gruffs with a pleasant smile, hands stroking up your hips. He's sitting on the arm of the sofa, while you stand between his legs and tap a little bit of glitter onto his cheekbones.

He's not had a drop of alcohol yet, but something about being here with you makes him feel all giddy. A serene sense of excitement bubbles through his veins, and he's unable to hide his smile. Eyes closed, he's letting you glitter him up however you see fit.

And how you see fit is matching him exactly to your (now restored) cheek glitter. It's a liquid glitter, applied with a wand and then delicately tapped into the skin with your fingers. A mixture of glitters create the shade - flecks of holographic white, a little silver and some pink. It's not your favourite, but it's still pretty.

Is even prettier, you think, when it's on him.

And you tell him as such.

"You look good," you smile, looking down at him with such a fondness only reserved for him.

When he smiles, he gets all bashful. Tells you to shut up. Keeps his eyes closed. Shakes his head.

You don't insist on complimenting him any further, even though it feels like you should. As soon as you're on the dancefloor, you know there will be girls ogling him left right and centre.

There's something about Jeongguk tonight. He's always handsome, yes. Always got a smile that could like up a room, and eyes that can make you feel alone together in a crowded room. Never is he one to simply fade into the background.

And yet tonight, there's just something more . Maybe it's the glitter - but he wasn't wearing any when he showed up to the speed dating venue and still managed to have half the room swooning for him.

Maybe it's the fact he's on your side of the bar tonight; not out of reach like he so often is. He waits with you, your elbows on the bar, his arm over your shoulders, as your drinks are being made. It's Yeonjun tending Jeongguk's usual section for a change. His once blue hair is now back to its natural state, but he's just as charming.

"He's like my little protégé," Jeongguk coos, as you watch while Yeonjun makes a round of purple starfuckers for you both. Two each, straight on Jeongguk's tab, then straight down your throats.

Yeonjun's hair isn't the only thing that's changed since those first Purple Starfuckers. Glancing up at Jeongguk, still beaming over his protégé pride, you think of all his changes.

Arms just the same, there's been no additional tattoos. The eyebrow piercing he once sported had been removed perhaps a month or so post-star-fucker-introduction. His lip ring remains, and you're thankful for it - although you do want to curse out how often it has you looking at his lips.

Pretty lips, you always think. Thinner than what you usually go for, but perfect in shape. 

"Fuck off with those eyes of yours," he says, passing over the next shot to you. Mouth gasping in shock, you feign innocence - but he doesn't buy it. "You know what you're doing." 

He lets his hand stroke down your back. Squeezes at your waist. Runs his hand back up. Squeezes at the nape of your neck, now. His eyes shine like a magpie's nest, and you consider maybe that's why he keeps you around. Just loves stealing the remains of your sparkle - only ever the spares. The stuff you're willing to give away. Would never steal directly from you. 

Smiles, as he insists. "You know ."

And sure, maybe you do know - but you're a liar when it comes to your intentions, not just to him, but to yourself.

"I know nothing of the sort!" You protest, a serene smile on your lips, and a look in your eye that Jeongguk knows he'll never get over. Would be impossible at this point. Raising the shot class up to cheers against his own, you laugh. "To never settling."

Jeongguk raises his plastic shot glass. Narrows his eyes, but agrees. Has a coy smile on his pretty lips as he says, "To never settling."

You haven't relayed the full conversation between you and Seojoon to Jeongguk yet. Just said it was clear that you wanted different things out of life. Part of you is a little bit scared that perhaps he'll share Seojoon's views.

Though you suppose it doesn't really make all that much of a difference, does it? Not when you're just friends.

You order up another drink - vodka coke for you, whiskey sour for him - to see you through the next half an hour or so. You've never had Jeongguk all to yourself on a dancefloor, and it seems a shame to waste time by the bar when you could be there instead.

Beaming like an ultraviolet light as he tugs on your hand, pulling you into the crowd with him, Jeongguk isn't shy about how pleased he is. Calls you Disco Ball, 'cause it's apt - and the way you shine in his direction as he says it only proves this.

There's a sea of moving bodies, but it feels like Jeongguk is parting the tides. For you, he's capable of that. Will do the impossible. Go above and beyond. Just like a good friend should.

The spot you end up in is dead centre amongst the madness of the club. There's a sheen to his skin that isn't from the glitter, but instead from the heat - and yet you find that you don't mind it. In fact, if anything, you like it.

Pheromones, you assume. It's what you'll put it down to. Is probably correct. Also probably has something to do with the fact that you normally only see him like this after a couple of rounds tangled in his sheets.

Improper thoughts, you scold yourself. Move your body to the beat of the track playing; drink in one hand, while the other snakes around Jeongguk's neck.

He doesn't really think much of it as he reciprocates; drink in one hand, his other snaking around your waist.

There's a closeness to you that can only be explained away by the intimacy of your friendship. That's what you tell yourself, as if there aren't strangers in the club sharing similar embraces. Your friendship has very little to do with it.

It's your desire to prevent anyone else from infringing upon your time spent together that keeps you close. It's territorial. An indication for any who glances your way to back off.

He's keeping you guarded, and you're reciprocating.

From the bar, when he captures a glimpse of you both, Yeonjun smiles. Sends a message to Jeongguk. 

Bet you 10,000 won that Disco Ball is going home with you.

It's not even that you want to go home together (even though you inevitably will). It's just that time together like this is rare. Jimin's always around, or Danbi, or Tae. All three, a lot of the time.

Not once have you ever been in Dionysus like this together, just you two.

And so while no, Jeongguk has no intention of seducing you tonight, he also doesn't want to give anyone the chance to either. This is his time, and he wants to spend it with you, and you alone.

The people around you blur into one large mass; like traffic in a slow-shutter-speed photograph. They're moving, and you're aware of this, but you aren't paying them any real attention. Why would you, when you've got Jeon Jeongguk right in front of you?

Neither of you seem to be able to dance properly. There's a beat, and you're keeping to it - but you're more focused on aggressively shouting the lyrics of the current song at one another.

You've not heard it since middle school - yet word for word, you both remember it.

It's some song from a movie that girls your age loved as teenagers; one that Jeongguk has been made to watch by all of the girls he's ever dated. They're always impressed when they find out he's seen it already. Always swoon whenever he can dramatically sing along to the closing track.

Kind of like how you are, now.

One of the soft virtues of Jeongguk is how blissfully unaware he is of his charisma. You know that romance movies are commonplace in his apartment with Jimin - and know that if Jimin is also out drinking tonight, then tomorrow morning will be spent watching The Notebook as per usual - but you aren't naive. 

You know that this is a film that has been watched by Jeongguk at the request of other girls.

He never admits it. When girls ask how on earth he's already seen it, he plays coy. Knows that it could ruin the flirt.

Funny, 'cause it kinda does the opposite for you. Doesn't make you jealous. Just makes you like him even more. Shows that he cares. That he values the interests and passions of the people he spends time with.

Easy, is being loved by Jeongguk. Or at least, you imagine it is. Imagine that no one would ever have to doubt his sincerity. That his affection works like a dam; once the barrier breaks, the truth of how he feels for someone would forever flow until the river dries up.

You're unaware of how hard his dam for you is working.

The pressure of the water he's keeping at bay is all-consuming. Takes all of his might for him not to let anything spill over. All it would take is a single drop for the rest to flow through. He worries you'll drown. Worries that a lack of restraint would ruin what is now pristine.

And so he's quiet about his feelings as he keeps you close in the shrouded haze of a club that will keep all of your secrets, if you ever dared to say them out loud.

Lifting your head up a little, Jeongguk reciprocates. Looks down. Dips. Nudges his nose up against yours. Neither of you close that tiny little gap; the one that will take you over the threshold of what you truly are. If he doesn't say a word, then it's okay.

The music is loud -yet the only things it drowns out are any sensible thoughts, bass beating around the room like the pulse of the muscle in your chest.

Jeongguk edges his lips a little closer. Could kiss you right now, if he wanted to. Probably would, if he thought you wanted him to.

Instead, he shakes his head. Pulls away. Takes a sip of his drink. Grins.

"You're trouble, Disco Ball."

Such a declaration makes you laugh. You don't mind Jeongguk cutting the tension. It's sensible. Was one thing to kiss you in the privacy of a photobooth in Busan, but you live in this city. You never know who could be in the bar right now watching all of this unfold.

There are regulars in the crowd tonight; people who know Jeongguk, even if he doesn't really know them. Could make his life difficult if he's seen necking off with you. Could give the impression that punters aren't off-limits for him. Could get people trying to push boundaries, which is the least of what he'd want while he's working.

You simply shrug. "You seem to like trouble."

Jeongguk shakes his head once more. He doesn't like trouble one bit. Wants to avoid it if he can.

Shame, really, how he can't avoid you. Won't avoid you. Can't bring himself to.

You're a burr in his saddle, but he finds he likes the irritation. It's troublesome, and bothersome - but you're never a bother . He'll let you infringe on his thoughts endlessly because he loves the little scratch your presence has on his brain.

By the time it strikes midnight, you're drunk hiccuping in the courtyard that Jeongguk so often escapes to alone. Hasn't really spent much time there since the Hayun debacle. What once was a sanctuary began to feel like the scene of a crime. Guilt-ridden. Dirty. Evidence of his mistakes. No grievous bodily harm committed, but a knife was still taken to his heart. To his sense of self. Who he thought he was.

"I've missed this place," you say, as if you haven't only visited it a handful of times. Jeongguk stands at the door frame, arms folded, his defences still up. Just what this place does to him these days.

And yet as you ambulate the space, it's like spring is blooming. Flowers sprout where dirt once was. Branches welcome tiny birds. A shimmer follows you, like magic. A real-life Disney princess.

He's no Prince Charming. He knows this. Knows that he hasn't lived a life to deserve a heart so pure. Has done you wrong.

But he's also drunk, and spring is yet to come. There are no flowers, no birds. Just his imagination - though there is glitter.

He fails to consider that perhaps you don't want Prince Charming. He doesn't know your favourite Disney movie.

And so he asks.

"Favourite ever?" you ask, eyes lighting up like the skies on Gwangalli beach whenever there's a drone show. "Ohh, easy. Tangled."

"Tangled?" He asks, and then clarifies. "Rapunzel?"

Nodding, you bite down on your lip a little, watching as Jeongguk walks in to share the space with you. Takes a seat on the bench. Is overwhelmingly pleased that you choose to fill the space beside him.

"Flynn Rider is, like, the hottest Disney boy there is," you assure him.

"He's a cartoon," Jeongguk objects.

"So?"

"So-"

"You fancy Widowmaker," you deadpan, your knowledge of overwatch limited to what he's shared with you. You don't even know that he does fancy her - just know that it's bound to get a reaction, which is what you're aiming for.

"Okay firstly, I don't fancy Widowmaker," he protests, just as you had hoped. "I fancy D'va - and regardless! It's not the same!"

"It's worse," you laugh. "At least you're meant to fancy Flynn Rider-"

"Oh c'mon! She's cute-"

"And so is Flynn!"

"Yeah, but it's not like he's Prince Charming, or anything like that," Jeongguk pouts.

"Exactly," you laugh. "Who wants that? He's boring."

"He's literally Prince Charming," Jeongguk states. "Doesn't everyone want him?"

Laughing, you shake your head. "Fuck, no. Flynn is funny . He's arrogant, yes, but that's what makes him so charming. He doesn't pretend to be a good guy. You know he's a dick and you love him regardless."

"So that's what you're after?" Jeongguk questions, even more confused. "An asshole?"

"No," you insist. "'Cause he's not really an asshole. He's got a good heart - but he's not perfect. He's got a personality. I don't know about you, mate, but perfection is the worst trait you can look for in a partner. Will forever be disappointed."

Perhaps that's Jeongguk's issue. He's always been a perfectionist. Holds himself to a higher standard than you could ever imagine - and always mistakenly assumed you held him to it, too.

"And I mean, we all have our flaws. Nobody is perfect," you follow up, almost as if you know exactly how his brain works. What he's thinking about.

"Do you ever wish..." he starts, but trails off. Is thinking about what he considers his own flaws. Wants to know how you perceive them. Contemplates what he's about to ask, and then thinks fuck it . "My lips. Are my lips okay?"

A little surprised by his question, you laugh. "Sorry?"

He doesn't say 'forgiven'. Is too caught up in his own head.

"Like, are they enough ? Do they feel okay?" He ends the question with a purse of his lips, his fingers reaching up to trace the outline, as if he's checking that he does, in fact, still have some.

"What are you on about?" You ask, utterly confused, as if you've ever given him a reason to think you don't like them.

Of course you like them.

"When we kiss," he clarifies, as if his thoughts are obvious. "Are they okay?"

"What?" You laugh awkwardly, almost affronted by his lack of confidence. It seems so unlike him. Granted, kissing isn't really a topic that you speak about - mainly because it's on your list of banned endeavours - but you've been kissing him an awful lot lately. Kind of thought it spoke for itself. "Why would you think they're not? Did someone say something tonight? During the dates?"

He shakes his head. If anything, it was the opposite. Had a few women tell him that they'd never kissed anyone with a lip ring before. Said they'd like to try it.

"Your lips are fine," you say, but realise he needs a little more than that. Is obviously insecure about something. You never want him to feel that way. "I like them, I mean. You're a good kisser. Really good. No complaints. 10 out of 10."

He narrows his eyes. Seemingly doesn't believe you.

And so you narrow yours back. "Are you trying to get me to kiss you, or something? To prove your point?"

Jeongguk looks almost offended. "What? No! I just..."

The way he rolls his head back and groans is so adorable that you think maybe you should just kiss him.

"I met your ex, didn't I?" He reminds you. You grimace. Suddenly see what he means. "And like..."

"Gguk," you say tenderly, but he just pouts.

"We've both seen Jimin," Jeongguk continues. "And even fucking Seojoon."

You hide the smile that teases your lips when Jeongguk refers to Seojoon like that. Kind of sounds like he's jealous.

"They've all got, like, dreamy lips," he says.

"Dreamy?!"

"Yeah," he frowns. "Like... clouds. Big. And mine are so-"

You clasp his wrist to stop him from touching his lips again. "Gguk, I like your lips. I like how you kiss. I wouldn't do it if I didn't."

He doesn't voice a response. Just continues to stick his bottom lip out a little, lip ring doing the thing in the most adorable fashion.

"Hey," you smile, holding his jaw delicately, angling his face to you. "Trust me, okay? There's nothing I'd change about you. You're more than enough as you are."

It's overcast tonight, and there's not a star in the sky. Doesn't really matter, though. Jeongguk's already stolen them all. Keeps them captive in his eyes. Shines them on you, when he glances down.

Letting go of his jaw, you lean your head on his shoulder, and look up to the darkness above you.

There's a giddiness in your stomach, like butterflies swarming on a summer's day, but it quickly becomes uncomfortable. Feels more like the nerves before a roller coaster drop - except the drop is never coming. The feeling just builds and builds, until it hurts .

Perfection is a trait that you know you lack. Seokjin was the one to ensure you knew this. And even though you don't really care all that much about Seojoon, he reinforced it tonight.

Pursing your lips, you wonder if perhaps you got it wrong. Just because you're not after perfection doesn't mean other people aren't.

"What's wrong with me?" you ask quietly.

"Hmm?" Jeongguk hums, not really sure what you mean. Hands in his lap, he's mindlessly twiddling his thumbs. Thinks there's nothing wrong with you. Nothing wrong at all.

"Why do they always want me to change?" you pout, a little vague but not meaning to be. You're just letting your drunk thoughts escape your lips, in the hopes it will ease the discomfort you're feeling. It's that, or cry. You really don't wanna cry.

Jeongguk is silent for a moment. It feels like forever, but is only a few seconds in reality.

"Because they're stupid," he finally replies. Wanted to say something more eloquent. More intentional.

That's the issue with that dam of his. Keeps everything at bay. Prevents him from telling you the truth of the matter; that he'd adore you regardless of your changes just as much as he adores you now. The fabric of who you are is a blanket he'd glady wrap himself in forever.

It does at least make you laugh - but as much as it softens the ache in your chest, you still feel just as inadequate.

"Maybe," you acknowledge. Pout. "But if I'm not even enough for idiots, then I'll never be enough for someone worthwhile, will I?"

He wants to curse the world for how cruel it's been to you. You have love and laughter in your life. An abundance of it. People who care, and people who give a shit. Yet you're forever changed by the men who couldn't give you enough. The people who didn't give a shit. He doesn't understand humans are wired this way, but knows he's just the same.

"Look, B," he sighs. Repeats your own words back to you. "You are enough as you are. More than enough. The issue is that the people you've dated. They haven't been enough. Not enough for you, not enough for themselves."

You think this is incorrect. Think that Seojoon had his shit together. Think that Seokjin did, too. It was you who didn't. You're the problem.

"But Seokjin wa-"

"Was the most vapid asshole I've ever had the displeasure of meeting," Jeongguk interrupts you before you can even think of a way to end that sentence. "And the fact he got to fuck you is criminal - let alone be loved by you."

Silence resumes. There's a crack in Jeongguk's dam.

He has to stop talking, or it will rupture.

Your feeling of inadequacy only grows. Too much? Not enough? Fuck. It's all such a mess in your head. Jeongguk said it himself that love is supposed to be easy. Supposed to feel like peace. You're not sure you're capable of that.

Sensing your upset, Jeongguk sighs. Whispers, so that his dam doesn't hear him. "You're really easy to love, B."

He glances down towards you, too. Toys with his lip ring like he so often does in times of uncertainty. Realises he's said too much. Fix the crack, twat.

"I just mean, like, look at all of us," he says, broadening the scope of the declaration. "Danbi, Hoseok, Jimin, Tae, Seoyeon... like need I go on? People enjoy having you around. Our lives are better with you in it."

Softly smiling, you shrug. "It's a little different though, isn't it?"

And the answer is yes. Of course it is. Platonic love is incomparable to romantic love - but it's still just as valid. He expects everyone to adore you just as much as he does.

Tells himself that the way he loves is that of a friend.

Everyone feels this way about you. Everyone loves you. I'm not special.

"Anyways," you dismiss, getting to your feet. "The night is young - and we've got starfuckers to drink."

He takes the hand that you outstretched for him. Let you pull him to his feet. Pulls his phone from his back pocket just to check the time - 00:36.

"Oh, that little fucker," Jeongguk laughs as he presses the lock button. His notifications are pretty full - generic shit like idle game updates and weather warnings for the cold night ahead.

The one that catches his attention is from Yeonjun. He tilts his phone so that you can read it, not caring to hide any of his notifications from you.

Yeonjun: Bet you 10,000 won that Disco Ball is going home with you.

With a pretty laugh, you dismiss it. "Boy's got a gambling problem."

"You're telling me," Jeongguk agrees - but knows Yeonjun is perfectly fine. Is just great at making money. Only places bets he knows he'll win.

And it's proven right not even an hour later. You're giggling with Jeongguk, hand in hand, unable to walk in straight lines as you head for the door.

"Hold on," you say to Jeongguk with a smile that he just knows means trouble. "Forgot something!"

Letting go of his hand, you dart back towards the bar. You shouldn't run, and you know this, but you're being speedy. Wanna be back with Jeongguk before he finishes walking over, following you. It's not like it matters. He's got a clear line of vision with so few people left in the bar.

Can see exactly what you're doing as you reach into your bag for a slightly bent-up 10,000 won bill. Sliding it across the bar to Yeonjun he looks confused - for about 3 seconds, at least - until he glances over to Jeongguk.

"Bye!" you beam, and dash back towards Jeongguk, glitter sparkling in the selective lights of the bar. Yeonjun doesn't even get a chance to tease you, but it doesn't matter. He'll just rip the absolute shit out of Jeongguk tomorrow night when he clocks in.

Jeongguk is well aware that this will happen, but he doesn't care. 

You've been off limits since the moment you stepped foot in Dionysus - "She's fucked," Jeongguk had told him on that very first night. " You're going nowhere near her." - but he likes the added confirmation that Yeonjun can't have you. Not when you so loudly declare yourself as Jeongguk's without even a single word exchanged.

"C'mon," you say, greeting Jeongguk, and walking straight on by him, outstretching your fingers to brush against his.

"I hope you realise what you've just done," Jeongguk almost warns as you leave the club together.

"I've settled your debts," you simply shrug, turning to face him as you walk backwards for a step or two. "I'm being a good friend."

The look on your face as you turn back around suggests that you know full well what you've done.

"You're gonna put ideas in his head," he calls after you, a lopsided grin on his handsome face, stars sparkling in his eyes.

"Good," you simply shout back, turning around to head further down the path. "Let him use his imagination a little. It's good for a developing brain."

Arms crossed over your chest, you're a little chilly. The temperatures always drop at night, and you're not really dressed accordingly. Left your jacket in the staff room. So did he. Too drunk to care.

But you also know that wherever you go, Jeongguk will follow. Something about stars, and spirals, and orbits. Shit you don't care to think about when you're too tipsy for your own good, and in search of refuge.

Could be a food stall, picking up some steaming eomuk, or could be in yet another bar - but this time one where you could talk properly, not just shout lyrics at one another and down one too many vodka cokes.

Jeongguk's been on a cocktail of whiskey sours and starfuckers all night, yet it's you he's drunk on.

Catching up with you, linking his arm around your shoulders, he doesn't care for food, or for another bar. He wants you. Wants his bed. Or yours. Doesn't wanna fuck. Just wants the only real refuge he'll ever need.

"Yeonjun won the bet?" Jeongguk confirms.

"Yeonjun won the bet," you nod.

"Okay," he smiles. "So your place or mine?"

You hold your fist in front of you. "Rock, paper, scissors."

Jeongguk loses. Picks scissors. Gets blunted by your rock. "Best of three?"

You pick rock again. Jeongguk goes for paper.

"Fuck," you giggle - not that you care. "Rock, paper scissors - oh, shit."

He holds his fingers in the scissor gesture, while you hold your hand flat. He's won. Lifts his arms. Yells a cute little 'woo' in celebration. "Take that, sucker."

"Oh noooo," you pout. "So sad. Hate your place."

"Oh, yeah?" He grins. Likes your tone. Knows your flirting. Encourages it.

"Mhmm," you smile right back, both dwindling on your endeavour back home. Coming to a stop, you're both aware that the way you're holding the front of his shirt to keep yourself balanced is a little too friendly. Makes him wanna do all kinds of silly things. "Hate your room."

"Yeah?"

"Hate your shower."

"So you don't want one?"

"Don't want one."

"Not even if I'm in it, too?"

"Want one even less."

He shrugs. Smirks. "I'll shower alone then. Your loss."

You narrow your eyes, as if you aren't feeling utterly shameless. "Your loss."

He's just as shameless. Fucking nods. "Yeah. It will be."

There are a million thoughts racing through your mind. They shine over Jeongguk; refracted light painting his skin in your utmost desires, and warmest of wants. You're a disco ball in every sense of the word, and Jeongguk knows that despite his flirt, it is his loss.

"Let's go home," he says quietly.

Casual in the way he groups his home as being yours, too, Jeongguk thinks nothing of it. Nor do you. There's no deep gravitational change. No alteration to the fabric of your lives. It's been this way for a while. Will likely stay this way for a while.

Standing on the corner of a street with Jeongguk, you wait quietly for a taxi. Neither of you care to fill the silence. Just let the sound of the city fill the empty space. Are quite content. A bit sleepy now that the alcohol is wearing thin.

When you yawn, he strokes your arm. Warms you up. Manages to hail a cab, and insists on you getting in first. Routes it for his place. Holds your hand the entire ride home.

By the time it arrives, you're yawning tenfold. Jeongguk knows a shower is off the cards. Will just crash. Get one in the morning. Doesn't mind. Kind of just wants to sleep, too.

Sitting on his couch, heat pack in your hands trying to warm up while Jeongguk grabs you both a drink before bed, you let your mind drift to the evening that led to this point.

Had started the night convinced you'd be going home with Seojoon. Would have been your third date. Would have been perfectly acceptable to break the invisible barrier of sex.

Realistically, given your relationship with sex and intimacy, the idea had been scaring you a little. Even if you didn't care for Seojoon romantically, the intention was there. The sex wouldn't have been casual. Would have been the first time in a long time that you were fucking someone with intention beyond feeling good.

And yet as you watch Jeongguk be his typical, attentive self, you know that sex with him goes beyond that. That's the whole point. You're opening yourself up to intimacy. A foolish thing to have done with someone who had no intention of loving you.

"Do you want kids?" You blurt completely out of the blue. Thoughts of the night have taken charge of your tipsy tongue, and you don't care to stop it.

The topic of conversation could be considered heavy. You know it was when you were conversing with Seojoon earlier. It's different, now. Different with Jeongguk. Things always are.

"Kids?" Jeongguk asks as he's filling the glass with water from the fridge. "As in, my own?"

There's a soft tentativeness to the way he looks at you, passing you the glass of water, unsure of where you're going with this. "Yeah. Do you want kids?"

"Right now?"

"No," you laugh. He sits beside you. Mirrors you. Crosses his legs. Takes the glass of water back from you just for a single sip, then returns it. "Just like, in the future."

He pauses for a moment. Isn't sure if this is a trick question or not. Decides that honesty is the best policy when your tone is so sincere.

"I want a family," he quietly admits. Isn't looking at you, but is instead toying with the dainty silver chain around your ankle. "Kids are a part of that, yeah, but I want the whole thing. Want a partner, and a dog, and a house... Want that fairytale type of shit," he laughs softly. It feels embarrassing to admit.

You don't think it's embarrassing in the slightest. You think it's nice to hear his dreams. Know all about the restaurant, and what he wants for his livelihood. Aren't so sure on the actual life he wants to live.

With a candid smile, you question further. Wanna see what his idea of a happy life is. "What kind of parent do you think you'll be?"

The room is quiet, no television or Jimin-related noises to disturb the sanctuary you find yourselves in. The city roads outside are vacant save for a few taxis at this time in the morning.

Jeongguk looks over to the mirror in the corner of the living room - the one adorned with dozens of photo booth pictures, and spots the one he'd taken with his parents on their last visit to the city. Always up for a good time, he's lucky to have such a good relationship with them.

"My dad was always the stern one," he divulges. You've met his father, now. Feels right to Jeongguk that you should know more about his relationship with his parents. He was lucky to grow up with an abundance of love. It's what's shaped him into the man he is today. "Don't get me wrong, I love him, and I respect him, but it was always mum that I went to when things went wrong. It was always her hand I wanted to hold as a kid. I don't want my kids to feel like they can't come to me. And like, what - 50% of marriages end in divorce, right? I never want that, but, like - imagine it. Getting the kids for visitation on the weekends? Barely having a relationship? Yeah. No."

He shakes his head, knocking the idea of a broken home out of his head, before he continues.

"I want a family. Not for a while yet, though. Got so much to do yet, and like, I don't think anyone our age really has their shit together yet, do they?" he nudges you fondly, and you find yourself comforted by his words. "So I'm sure whoever I end up with has lots to do, too."

The look you give him is coy. One that he can't quite work out - and quite frankly, he doesn't care to figure it out. Overthinking right now would only ruin one of his favourite evenings he's ever spent in Dionysus.

"I think you'll be a good dad," you admit quietly. "The best dad."

The compliment is heavy. Implies that you're thinking about the future. Thinking about him in the future. Long hair cropped a little shorter, formal shirts worn for PTA meetings. Thinking about the tattoos on his skin, and the glittery gel pens that a pair of small hands would use to colour them in.

You won't have been the first person to consider this, granted, but you might be the first to imagine glitter pens instead of regular markers. Of course you would, though. Your children will inevitably take after you - but then that would also mean you're thinking that Jeongguk's children will be yours .

Shaking the thought from your head, you decide that such silly little ideas are dangerous. Change the topic.

"Do you want any more tattoos?"

It's a stupid question. Something you already know the answer to, for it's already been discussed.

He entertains the question regardless. Shrugs. "When I've got cash to spare, maybe. No plans at the moment, though."

Nodding, the mention of finances reminds you of his plans.

"When's your meeting?" you ask. "The one with the bank?"

It's been at the top of Jeongguk's to-do list ever since he finished his final exam. It's step one of his plan to open his very own pork belly place. With everything that's been going on lately, he hasn't had the chance to spend an entire morning in a stuffy beige room begging for a business loan.

"14th," he says nonchalantly. Still a couple of weeks away. It's not even April yet. "It's a Tuesday."

"Black day," you reply. The annual celebration (or commiserations) for single people. He nods. "Why don't we go for food after? Danbi's ditched me this year. Went and got herself a boyfriend."

Jeongguk laughs at your dismissive tone, as if it's not Taehyung she's dating, and as if they aren't your favourite couple.

"You not working?" he asks, thinking that you'd normally be in the art cafe on Tuesday afternoons.

Shaking your head, you explain that the rota had been worked out so that both you and Hoseok had the day off. "Everyone else is in a relationship. It'd be cruel to make the only two singletons work on our special day."

"Hoseok not wanna come for food too?" Jeongguk checks, not wanting to exclude your friend. You shake your head.

"He's already said he doesn't want to see anyone nor do anything."

Jeongguk nods, but says, "Well, extend the invite regardless."

Assuring him you will, a big sip of water filling your cheeks, Jeongguk is pleased to have you around during times like these. Thinks black day would be shit without you. Has spent the last few black days working shifts at the bar. Would watch punter after punter drown their sorrows, only to then cry out all of the alcohol they had consumed.

"Anyways," Jeongguk waves his hand in the air. Changes the topic back to what you had been discussing previously. Had shit he wanted to say before you switched it up. "You'll be a great mum. I mean, if you have kids. Think you'd be great at it. Would somehow be both the fun parent and the stern parent."

Realistically, Jeongguk thinks you'll be great at anything you put your mind to.

"Maybe I should just get a donor when I'm ready," you laugh. "Single parent that shit."

"Well," Jeongguk smirks, getting to his feet. He's sleepy. Knocks his head to encourage you to join him. "If you ever need a donor, I'm far cheaper than a clinic. Would mean you'd have to shag me again, though."

"Our kids would be monsters," you laugh, following his lead into this bedroom. "Little gremlins."

"Nah, they'd be cute," he insists as you both begin to get ready for bed in the most innocent of ways.

"What if you're already settled down?" you question, picking up one of Jeongguk's shirts from the back of his chair to wear for bed. "By the time I'm ready for a donation?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," he shrugs. Doesn't really see a world in which he settles down with anyone but you, these days. Knows you're more likely to settle first. He frowns at the thought of it - and as soon as you're under his duvet with him, he pulls you close.

You don't realise he's pouty. Stroppy. Annoyed with his own mind.

Turning in your position so that you're facing him, the darkness of his room obscures him from you. Closing your eyes, you don't really care. Nudge your nose up against his, like you so often do.

"Tonight was fun," you whisper. He nods. Lets his lips brush against yours.

"I like it when it's just us," he admits. Probably wouldn't say it if he was sober.

But you probably wouldn't nod back, either, letting your lips brush even more intentionally against his.

And you definitely wouldn't say, "I meant it, y'know. I like kissing you."

Jeongguk wants to swallow down his nerves - but doing so would mean pressing his lips together. Knows that it would escalate things.

So instead, he grips your waist. Nudges a little closer. Is overwhelmed with a zealous need for reciprocation. Whispers, "I want you to kiss me."

When you smile, Jeongguk can feel the curve of your lips.

He thinks he might die.

"Say please."

He smiles now, too - and you think you'll die.

"Please, B," he simpers into your lips. Closes down on your lips as he punctuates his sentence. Welcomes the way your lips press up against his. Sink into the sensation of one another. "Please kiss me."

Even if this is what kills you both off, you know there's no other way you'd rather go than caught up in his embrace.

So you grant him his wish - and find that sometimes flirting with death can make you feel more alive than you've ever known.

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

[theresattrpgforthat]

THEME: Mint's Fave Games (Part 2/2)

This is part 2 to a very difficult ask in which I managed to narrow it down to 12 games that I'm very normal about but still couldn't fit all in one post. 6 games left! I'll put the link for Part 1 here. Let's go!

Exceptionals, by Bramble Wolf Games, aka @sahonithereadwolf. (Purchased, not yet played)

I’m not a big comics fan, but X-Men has always been my favourite form of superhero media, particularly because I love the care and purposefulness of talking about marginalization and bigotry in a nuanced way. The creator of Exceptionals loves that very same thing about X-Men, and asks about what life is like for your average neighbourhood mutant.. This is a game where you can play Genodivergent folks, people who experience a process called Claremont-Simonson Mutation.

The game system uses d10’s - 2d10’s for any given roll, while you can use other d10’s to track the Bonds your characters have with each-other. Characters are made up of 4 “protocols”, lists of words and phrases that describe your mutation as well as your role as a community member. These pieces will not just give you advantages - they’ll give you disadvantages as well, which will affect the outcome of your rolls.

This is not a game about superheroes. This is a game in which superheroes exist, but your group is more likely going to be figuring out how to keep their neighbourhood safe when the police are one of the constant dangers, learning how to care for community members who have unique problems, and making noise when asking nicely for others to respect your rights doesn’t work.

The Wildsea, by Felix Isaacs. (Purchased, not yet played)

I was sold on setting alone for this one. The Wildsea is inspired by works such as Railsea, (a re-telling of Moby Dick), as well as Firefly, Blades in the Dark, and Sunless Sea. You are sailors on a verdant ocean of giant trees, hunting leviathan squirrels and trading with various outports and settlements. Character creation involves three parts: your Bloodline, Origin and Post, combining species, background and job to allow for some highly customizable, evocative characters.

The Wildsea prioritizes narrative play, allowing players to determine how their stats affect their actions, and using an in-game mechanic called Whispers and Charts to help you create locations as you play. Travel is never boring, as everyone has a role to play and the wonders of The Wildsea never cease. The community behind this game is wildly inventive, with oodles of home-brew and character inspiration. You can pick up the free version of the rules here, and check out the Storm and Root Expansion at the Kickstarter link.

HouseHold, by Two Little Mice. (Unpurchased)

Two Little Mice are known for gorgeous games and this is no exception. Household is a game about little people living inside an abandoned house, each room of which is a different nation. Will you dance with a Boggart princess at the ball of the Chandelier? Cross the Long Hallway and survive to tell the tale? Are you a Sluagh with a mouse steed or a Sprite with a beetle companion? Do you wear the finest of bee furs, or is mushroom leather what you prefer to wear?

This game is unique on this list in that I don’t actually plan to run it - I play to play it, with a friend of mine who backed the game on Kickstarter. He’s already got the full version of the book, plus its expansion, and let me tell you, it’s deliciously beautiful. The game uses the same system as Broken Compass: your character choices will give you strengths in certain arenas, and you’ll use pips to give yourself strengths in subsets of skills within each arena. The game uses card symbols to represent Society, Academia, War and Street - these characters won’t just be fighting spiders and bringing down rats, they’ll also try to catch the eye of an aristocrat at a dinner party, or pick-pocket the keys off of a palace guard. Character advancement is chronicled as Memories; your play the game as if your character’s stories have already happened, and are in the process of being written down for posterity.

If you’re interested in this game I’d recommend checking out the linked website above, as the 96-page Quickstart and the character sheet are free to download!

Brinkwood: The Blood of Tyrants, by Far Horizons Co-Op. (Played)

This game has the most hardcore slogan that I’ve ever seen, and it has not failed to get people stoked about it - Drink the Rich. It’s Robin Hood meets Castlevania. A powerful Faerie helps you fight against Vampire Capitalists using magic-infused masks, and a sanctuary hidden inside a wild wood. This is yet another Forged-in-the-Dark game that shows you how to build a rebellion via three different strategies, and has a well-written and well-thought-out Codex that allows you to put the game in different settings, as well as an Almanac (included in the base game) that immerses you in the milieu of Cardenfell.

My favourite aspect of Brinkwood is the communal Mask playbooks. As characters, you’ll have your own personal character sheet, but when you go out on different forays, you’ll have the opportunity to share the Masks that are available to the group. This means that players can choose strategically-optimal playbooks for missions that require more stealth, combat, or social control, and it also means that you’ll never feel nailed into a specific role. I very much want to see more of this kind of setup in games, even if I have to design it myself.

Moth-Light, by Justin Ford. (Purchased, not yet played)

You are humans that have fled to a planet after the fall of your civilization. In this speculative future, your new home must be shared with giant, predator insects called Moths. Your future depends on your ability to develop trust, form pacts, and work together.

This is (you guessed it) another Forged-in-the-Dark game with a really unique implementation of the group playbook. Depending on the Pact you choose, you don’t just determine what kind of story you want to tell, you also determine what action ratings are available to your characters. This makes sense, as a story about different villages banding together to achieve peace will provide different challenges then a story about a series of war-games, in which your characters are desperate to prove their worth. The spectrum of stories available within this game are broad-spanning, and I’m itching to get this game to table sometime before the year is over to see how it plays.

Moth-Light is still in beta, but after your first purchase you’ll receive new updates about the game as they come out! When I bought this game, only the Promise and the Scavengers were available - now the creator has updated the file to include the Slayers and the Jammers! I’ve also created my own Pact for this game, inspired by the Chronicles of Pern. It’s called RIDERS, it’s about people creating sympathetic bonds with the Moths in order to stop an even greater threat, and you can find it here!

Apocalypse Keys, by Rae Nedjadi. (@temporalhiccup ) (Played)

I just finished running this game and I don’t know how to express to you the emotional rollercoaster that it led us on. Rae Nedjadi is a fucking amazing designer and you can tell he intensively play-tested this game because Apocalypse Keys is tight. The mystery setup gives you an idea of how long a single mystery will take, and the generative style of play allows you to not just fill out the world, but also come up with the answer to the mystery as you unlock clues.

The central focus of the game involves Grasping Keys, which is a move that allows your character to find clues that will eventually be connected to core facets of the mystery for a very dramatic roll. Also, unlike a lot of PbtA games, your characters use a token system reminiscent of Belonging Outside Belonging games instead of stats, which you can spend to increase your chances of success - but roll too high and you are too good at what you do, possibly causing collateral damage in the process. If you love Hellboy, if you love monsters, if you’re queer… you really need to check out this game.

Finally....

If you want to see what other games are currently living rent-free in my noggin that I hope to pick up at play someday, you can check out the Games that Intrigue Me folder I've started on Itch. There's currently 148 games in there that I haven't played yet!

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

How would Riddler, Scarecrow, and Hatter (your fave iterations) react to their s/o sending them suggestive pics while they're out or on a job?

"Salacious" BTAS Scarecrow, Zero Year Riddler and Arkham Mad Hatter x reader

oh how dare you ask my favorite iterations. That's so HARD. I think my favorite iteration of scarecrow might be BTAA, but I'm not comfortable writing him yet- so BTAS. Riddler it's a toss-up between Zero Year and BTAS. Hatter is between Arkham and BTAS. If I was answering this on a different day of the week the favorite Riddler might change, I love that man and all his forms.

OKAY. coin flip- Zero year Riddler and Arkham Hatter. Obviously if anyone wanted different versions of this prompt please feel free to send it!

TW: NSFW, little fear kink

BTAS Scarecrow

He almost drops his phone. It wouldn't be the first time. In fact, he's chastised you to not do this- if for no other reason than you being personally responsible for three cracks across the beaten up phone screen. He clicks his tongue and frowns.

He chooses not to respond. It's a game for him. Not to show he's angry, no, but to keep you on that little precipice of fear. Since he is possibly the worst at returning texts anyways, you likely won't put too much thought into it. But he is thinking. Brewing. As soon as he's done with his business...

Jonathan purposely chooses to stay in costume. Whichever costume might be your favorite. He uses his key to your shared home... quietly. Oh-so-quietly that you might barely be able to detect someone there. And he sees you, skimpy dressed and waiting by the phone for a response. Your back turned to him.

You jump a little at his hand grasping your jaw from behind, his other on your abdomen. The rough material of his mask kissing your neck. His voice is almost a growl, "Didn't I tell you not to distract me while working?"

Your own voice is coy, "I just missed you, that's all." The way your heart races gets his blood flowing other places than his brain.

His hand drops low between your legs, making you squirm, "Then I suppose a lesson is in order on listening, wouldn't you agree? If you listen... you might just finish tonight."

"And if not...?"

"Well. I'll still enjoy myself."

Zero Year Riddler

The smug look that goes over his face. His dear Aphrodite/Adonis? Sending him a token of their favor? If he wasn't occupied... well. You might be getting a little something back. Alas. He sends you a note to keep your eyes on the news. And not to get dressed.

His grand plan to heist Gotham is like most- showy, theatrical and the cops are five steps behind. Batman three. What you hadn't been expecting was a gesture in your honor, your name in literal lights. He'd managed that rather quickly.

See, in his mind, he expects to hide the cash, get home and find you posed on his bed waiting for him. It's not a lot to expect, is it? Even if it's not exactly to the mental picture, however, he can hardly wait to see you. Investigate any potential lingerie up close.

"And just what were you expecting, hm? A treat? Some great reward for showing what I already know to be mine?" He grins wide as his hands caress your legs, "A silver tongue? Shh, shh, it's alright. That's exactly what you're going to get. So why don't you spread these gorgeous thighs and give me your best high note?"

You are going to be quite the mess by the time he's done with you. And then he's going to fuck you until all you can think of is his name.

Arkham Mad Hatter

Oh-ho! He's in a giggling fit as the picture flashes up on his phone. Due to his head in the clouds behavior a lot of people assume he'd be useless with a phone. On the contrary, he's too good with it. Messaging you all kinds of nasty things-

Then he's interrupted by the goon he's working with. Oh, right. Suddenly this all seems so boring in comparison to what he could be doing. How droll it would be to give it all up and go see his dearest Alice immediately! ...But unfortunately this plot took far too much planning and preparation to simply throw away.

He's almost pouting the whole time, it's sad. Sending you filthy limericks to preview all the things he wants to do to you once he's home. You very well might get a hasty, slightly blurry photo of his dick if you get him riled enough. Tufts of his brown-red hair at the base, his hand cradling the shaft.

"Enough to make your mouth water, isn't it, you wicked creature..." He texts to you. Considering the almost Pavlovian hold he has on some of his partners, that could be exactly what you're experiencing. Send him more photos to keep his night exciting!

When he does get home, he's going to be tearing any scrap of clothing off of you. It's fine, he can fix it or make something new later. Right now he wants you begging on your knees, prepping for his cock inside of you.

[maddogofshimano]

Zhao Character Story

This was requested by the giveaway winner @trixibebe​ ! Hopefully it is worth the wait! I love Zhao a lot so this was great to do

Summary: Zhao’s been informed that one of his long time friends is planning a coup against him, and will be eliminated. This quickly turns into a manhunt--and cathunt--as Zhao faces down his old friend.

Ijincho, Yokohama, has the underground ruled by 3 powers, commonly known as the "Ijin Three". This is a story about one of those people, a few years after the boss of the Liumang had been replaced by Zhao Tianyou... Qing Jin, Ijincho Close Associate of Zhao: ...Tianyou-sama. Regarding the matter with "Jin". (Tl note: the name is 陳 which as usual could be a lot of readings. I went with Jin, but Chen might be more accurate if I were keeping with how localization does it. separately, calling him Tianyou-sama instead of Zhao-sama is interesting)

Zhao: Which Jin do you mean by Jin? Associate: Jin Yangming. (Tl note: okay yeah a name. I am guessing on specific readings as per usual) Zhao: Hmm~? What's Jin-kun done? Did he get a stomach ache? Associate: This is a serious matter. I've long had misgivings about him being a traitor. Zhao: ..... Associate: Recently he's been even more suspicious, so I had an internal investigation check it out. The result-- Associate: We learned that he's been gathering members from within the organization to stage a coup. Zhao: Are you sure there hasn't been a mistake? Jin-kun doesn't have the guts for that.

Associate: No, I'm certain of this information. Zhao: Hmmmm.... Associate: ...By all rights, the planners should have been purged as soon as it was discovered. It never would have needed to be reported. Associate: That man... It's only because Jin is an old friend of yours that it's being brought to your attention. Zhao: So he's a friend of mine. That doesn't mean he's a good person. Associate: It's been decided to do the purge tomorrow night. Just so you're informed. Zhao: ...Gotcha. Knock 'em dead.

Fierce-looking Man: ........

[a shuttered door opens] Zhao: Yo, Jin. How's the beef ramen taste? Jin Yangming: Zhao....! Zhao: Same as ever, this shop's my fave. Zhao: But the stir-fried Chinese cabbage is so good. You know how the garlic really pops? Zhao: Ah, but you were eating Chinese cabbage until two years ago, right? Did you get tired of eating it? Or is it due to your lady friend~? Jin: .......... Zhao: Oh yeah, how's your cat doing, Ranran-chan? It's just 2 years old. It's an indoor cat, right? Jin: ....I can tell you've been monitoring my activities closely. Let's just cut right to the chase then. Zhao: That right? Well, how about we do that. Zhao: Some of the elders in the group, they seem to have caught wind of your little plan. Jin: ....I figured as much. Zhao: The purge is planned for tomorrow night. Couldn't you save your own life by offering yourself up right now? Jin: Your father was a cruel and strict leader, but he had a passion for protecting the immigrants of this city. Jin: But what about you? You don't protect us Liumang at all. Acknowledging you as our leader... how could I do that?

Zhao: So you're throwing a coup? Man, you've always been way too extreme. Jin: ...Thanks for the food. I'll leave the cash for it, boss. [he leaves] Zhao: ...Haaaaa~.

The next night

[people are rushing down the street] Liumang Member: Jin went this way! Don't let him escape!!

Jin: Shit...! Zhao: I got it. Jin: Zhao...! Zhao: But I do gotta ask. What's the point in doing this? Jin: Shut up.... At least I'll be able to deal with you! [they fight, Zhao kicks his ass] Zhao: Hey, how you doing Jin? You had enough?

Jin: Shit... You're fucking dodging non-stop... Associate: Wait! Jin! Jin: ....Tch! [he runs off] Zhao: Tsk tsk tsk... He managed to get away. Associate: You all go after Jin. He absolutely cannot be allowed to escape!

Associate: Are you safe? Zhao: Fit as a fiddle. Associate: To correct the blunder of allowing him to flee, the general foot soldiers have been mobilized. Zhao: OK. Well then, let's seal off the entrances and exits to the district.

Zhao: Be sure to get the sewers and river too, anything that can be used to leave. We want him trapped like a rat. Associate: On it. I'll get it started. Zhao: Alrighty, now do I start my own punishment for the traitor?

[END PART 1]

Liumang A: Oi, did you find that Jin bastard?

Liumang B: Nah, the room was totally empty. He must have come back once and then ran off again. Liumang A: I see.... With the district sealed off he's trapped like a rat. He has to be hiding somewhere here. Liumang A: You guys stay here and kill Jin if he returns. No mercy for traitors! Liumang B: Yes sir! [he leaves] Liumang B: ....Do we really need to keep watch on this place? It's not like Jin-san's gonna come back to his house when he's being chased. Liumang C: Yeahhh. But Jin-san's really boned now. How could he even consider something like a coup? Liumang B: If he gets caught, they're going to turn him into manju filling. Still, I can sorta see why he might not agree with our new nepotism boss. (Tl note: for those unaware, manju is a stuffed bun. also nepotism is a liiiitle bit of a stretch but he is complaining that Zhao just got the job because his dad was the previous boss) Zhao: Excuuuse me. New nepotism boss here. Relying on things like heritage isn't very rational, is it?

Liumang B: B-Boss!? I-I'm sorry!! I was... Zhao: It's all good, man. But maybe watch your back better when you're in the mood for griping. Zhao: ...This here is Jin's house, yeah? You already checked it out? Liumang B: Y-Yes sir. We checked thoroughly for anything that might indicate where he fled to, but nothing turned up. Zhao: Hmmmmm... I gotcha. Was there a cat inside? Liumang B: A-A cat? No, there wasn't one... Zhao: So he took his beloved cat with him... I see. Zhao: Sorry for the bother. ...How bout you keep up the great work as look outs~. [Zhao leaves] Liumang B: Geez... I'm just glad I didn't get turned into manju filling.... [at a different set of apartments, a doorbell rings] Stern man: ...Yeah? Who is it? (Tl note: are these the same apartments you visit in LJ? haven't they been through enough??)

Zhao: Yoooo, Taka. Hope you don't mind me barging in for a sec~. Heyyy~ as I thought this place is pretty nice. Is this stuff for a pet? (Tl note: his name is 王 which has a bunch of possible readings, Taka was a very arbitrary pick) Liumang Taka: Wh-... Boss...!? Zhao: Aw you don't have to call me boss, it's fine~. You're one of the people who disagrees with my hereditary placement, aren't you? Taka: No, that's not... Zhao: It's chill if you do. I'm not here to blame you for anything. Zhao: Actually, I'm here cause I think Jin's cat is here. ...Ranran-cha~n, are you here~? [Ranran meows at Zhao] Taka: !? Zhao: Hey, that hurt~. Zhao: Since it seemed like Jin took his cat when he ran, I've been hitting up all the homes of the anti-hereditary faction to see which ones could keep a pet~. Zhao: So, Taka... This is Jin's cat that you're taking care of, yeah? Taka: No... you've got it all wrong. This is my cat. Come get some food, Ran. Zhao: ...Hmmm~. Is that it. This looks an awful lot like Jin's cat, you know. Zhao: A black and white persian with odd eyes, how'd you end up with one that's just got so many similarities? Taka: ...I saw Ranran and wanted to get a kitten just like it. I also took the name from it. Zhao: Hmmm~ ...But, well, the little bit of thick black fur on the underside of its tail shouldn't be exactly the same as Ranran's, right? Zhao: Just let me check that real quick. Taka: No, you don't need to. It's there. It truly is a miraculous resemblance. Zhao: ........Wooow~, that's a hell of a coincidence. But, hmm, it doesn't seem like this cat has any thick fur like that? Taka: Eh!? Zhao: What I said was a lie, actually. The real Ranran doesn't have any black fur on the underside of its tail. Zhao: Oooh bad luck~. You fell for the oldest trick in the book. Taka: Guh.... uuhh..... uraaaaahghhhh!!!! Zhao: Woah there, I'm not letting you run. I've got a mountain of questions I gotta ask you now. Taka: G-Get ready!! You're already going to kill me...! I'll have to kill you instead to make my escape!!!! [they fight, Zhao wins] Taka: S-So strong... Why's some nepotism baby that strong...

Zhao: Well that's a hurtful thing to say. I've never once lost a fight, you know?

Zhao: Well now that the persuasion session is over... Talk to me~. Where's Jin? Zhao: Since you tried to escape, it doesn't seem like you're hiding him in your house. Taka: I-I don't know... I was just supposed to look after Jin-san's cat for him when it came time for him to escape. Taka: I really don't know anything else.... Zhao: ....You understand from before that you can't lie to me, right? Taka: I-It's not a lie!!!! I really wasn't told anything else!! Please believe me!! Zhao: .................Yeah, okay~. I believe you. Not like you have any room left to lie. Zhao: .........But just to be safe, how about you show me around this place. Zhao: ...Yep, no hidden rooms or signs of another person living here. Seems like he really isn't here. Zhao: Well, hiding in another anti-hereditary faction members' house is basically asking to be caught. Zhao: Sooo... He probably dropped the cat off and went directly to wherever he's hiding. Taka: Y-Yes sir... He wasn't able to bring Ranran with him... so he really stressed how important it was that I look after it... Taka: He knew I had raised and loved a cat, so he believed I would be trustworthy... Zhao: ...Hey Taka, what are some of the things that cats don't like? Taka: Things they don't like...? There's a lot. Hot stuff, the sound of the vacuum cleaner, water...  Taka: Besides those... really strong smells can be bad. All of that varies on the individual cat, though. Zhao: Really strong smells, huh... [flashback] Zhao: Yo, Jin. How's the beef ramen taste?

Zhao: But the stir-fried Chinese cabbage is so good. You know how the garlic really pops? Zhao: Ah, but you were eating Chinese cabbage until two years ago, right? Did you get tired of eating it? Or is it due to your lady friend~? Jin: .......... Zhao: Oh yeah, how's your cat doing, Ranran-chan? It's just 2 years old. It's an indoor cat, right? [flashback over] Zhao: .....I probably got it~. Jin's location. Taka: Eh....?

[END PART 2]

[the sound of the door to the restaurant opening] Zhao: Table for one, please~.

Owner of the Chinese Restaurant: ....Your seat is right this way. Here's some water. Once you decide on your order... Zhao: Owner-san, do you remember me? The other day I was here with a regular named Jin. Owner: ....Ah, so you're Jin's acquaintance. I don't know if something happened, but he hasn't been by recently. Zhao: Is that so~. Jin was a regular here, but you had a private relationship with him too, right? (Tl note: 🤨 🏳️‍🌈 ❓ ) Owner: ...It was a pretty limited relationship. Occasionally we went fishing together. Zhao: Hmmmmmmmm~ ...For having such a limited relationship, it's awfully kind of you to be sheltering Jin from the Yokohama Liumang currently chasing him. Owner: Eh? H-Hold on, where are you going!! Zhao: ...Bathroom~ at least I was planning to, but you're really jumpy huh, Owner-san. Zhao: Could that be becauuuse~.... if I take a single look into the backroom I'll see that Jin is hiding there? Owner: !? Zhao: Looks like I got it in one.... Jin, how about you come out already? All the exits are blocked, you're not getting away again. [Jin exits the back room] Jin: ......How did you know I'd be here?

Zhao: Because you left Ranran with Taka. Jin: ........What? Zhao: You dote on your beloved cat. Therefore you would have taken it with you. But you didn't. Zhao: So the only explanation is that you must have gone to hide somewhere that you couldn't bring Ranran. Zhao: There's plenty of reasons I could think of why you wouldn't take Ranran. Safety, preference, the noise it makes... Zhao: However, you have connections with the Liumang and it's difficult to do a quick investigation, you could have established some trust, and you couldn't take Ranran... Zhao: So that made me think that the only place to hide must be Jinhua. This place reeks of garlic, which Ranran doesn't like. (Tl note: the store name is 金華 and could be some other readings but Jinhua is the reading for the city in China) Jin: ...How the hell did you know that Ranran doesn't like the smell of garlic? Zhao: Well, I didn't know about it originally. Zhao: I just noticed that the time when you stopped eating this place's famous stir-fried Chinese cabbage was the same time that you got Ranran. Zhao: ...That's when the lightbulb went off. Zhao: You started eating beef ramen without any garlic because Ranran hated it, right? Jin: .....Heh, you really solved that. You're a lot more clever than I thought. Zhao: Well, I'm a pretty capable kid, you know~. Jin: You've exceeded my expectations. But, after surrounding the shop and blocking all the exits isn't this a little naïve? Zhao: Hm? What's naïve about it? Jin: Coming at me alone!! I'm going to take you hostage and get the hell out of this town!! [they fight, Zhao wins] Jin: Wh-What was that power....

Jin: Shit... Just kill me already. Call in your men and make an example out of me. Zhao: Ahh, that was a lie actually. The only person here is just me. Jin: What the hell...? Zhao: In 2 hours, there will be a 5 minute gap in the guards at the Jinhua bridge. You can use that to get out of the sealed district. Zhao: I just came here to say that. Well then, good luck. Jin: ! H-Hey...! Hold on! Why are you doing this... Zhao: As long as it saves lives, I'm fine doing anything. Jin: This ain't fine! I just tried to kill you! What sort of game are you playing at...!? Zhao: ...Haaa, don't you know people don't like guys who can't take a hint? Zhao: Just to be perfectly clear, you know how I'm the boss of the organization? So that means I have no choice but to make an example out of you. Zhao: I've known you for a long time. Besides-- Zhao: Since I was the boss's son, everyone treated me like some kind of cancerous growth, but you never had any restraint even with me. Zhao: That pissed me the hell off... but really that isn't a bad thing. Jin: Zhao... Zhao: Well, that's all there is to say on that. Enjoy your second chance at life. See yaaaa. [Zhao leaves] Jin: ....I'm sorry, Zhao....

A short time later....

Associate: ...And since then, we haven't been able to locate Jin. He may have left Japan by now.

Zhao: My bad? I messed up on my initial call. I'm sure he must have left the city by then. Zhao: I'm sorry for being an unreliable boss. I'll be sure to work harder next time. Associate: ....We'll see if that happens. Zhao: Hm? Did you say something? Associate: No... Until next time.

[END]

BONUS TIME!

I love Zhao. he just goes around lying to people for fun. his two great loves in life are fucking with people and being a ginormous softie

Whenever I ran a line through deepl to doublecheck something it really really really wanted to call Zhao a girl due to all the tildes he uses lol. Zhao’s got 5 cards which is a pretty solid amount, including these two KSRs

that’s it for now! look forward to two more posts in the near future! I’ve got an event and equipment to share!!

[nogenderbee]

Hii may I request the pjsk boys(especially Rui cause he'll fit in the role perfectly)with a reader who's bad at sewing and always ended up getting scolded by the teacher cause their progress is two lessons slower than the others(pretend there're sewing lessons at school cause mine has, and this is exactly my situation rn🥲); however, the reader is actually a pretty awesome fashion designer and artist, they always draw tons of different creative designs on their sketchbook, but they have never turned them into clothes due to their shortcoming in sewing? How would the pjsk boys comfort and help the reader?

I might have an idea for Rui! Since Rui crafts inventions a lot, he might be good at sewing as well(I'm not sure about that tho), maybe he could sew the reader's designs out as wearable clothings(If those designs were drawn for Rui, he would wear them proudly afterwards)or craft a robot version of the reader's designs(perhaps the robots would wear mini clothes or something like that).

Of course I can do that! I kinda took my time because later I had break and all but I hope you enjoy it either way! <3

Also I couldn't agree more on Ruis part so your ideas may repeat a bit in Ruis part...!

Akito, Toya, Tsukasa, Rui with reader who learns slower

TagList: @vodka-glrl @yulikesminori @kuzui5201314 @miya-akane @alicewinterway18 @indi-has-fallen

⊱ Akito really added to it... he would often say that it's your fault but then will insult teacher for you and bring you some of your faves to cheer you up

⊱ speaking of teacher... he definitely got into fight with them at least once arguing over the fact that they shouldn't be so mean to you

⊱ if you go to Kamiayama, he'll try to be a bit nicer and not go all the way but still will protect you! But if you go to Miya then he doesn't care what reputation he'll have there and will speak his mind out

⊱ he often sits with you and it's easy to say he gets even less than you do but he still tries to help somehow spoiler: he fails

⊱ when he saw all your plans and that you aren't realizing it because you don't feel like your skills are enough, he gets shocked and a bit annoyed

"Why are you letting your skills stop you?! If it's your dream then don't stand and do nothing just because you THINK it may not do well. You won't know untill you try it!"

⊱ he'll try to get someone who can sew for you so you can learn from them and catch up with the material

⊱ he's not good with all that so he may not help you with learning but he will stay by your side when you study and cheer you up whenever you can (in his own tsundere way tho of course)

⊱ also tells you to ask teacher or classmates for help and if anyone says few bad words about you to tell him and he'll take care of that

⊱ Toya actually tried his best at comforting you and he managed to calm you down few times even tho he's bad with words

⊱ he's not really the one to argue with teachers but he is willing to have some calm talk with them and if it doesn't work then at least he tried his best, right?

⊱ but even if it doesn't work and your teacher still will be mean then he'll always borrow you his shoulder and bring you some of your faves, maybe even wrap you in a blanket

⊱ even if he can't sew, he'll learn how to with you or even learn himself so then he can help you better and maybe even teach you few stuffs

"Hey it's alright, I'll try to learn with you and maybe if I get it I can explain it to you. We'll get it together, I promise."

⊱ he definitely asks around few people he knows if they can sew and if they can then he'll ask you if you're alright with them helping you out

⊱ but if he won't find anyone then he's always willing to get you like a tutor for sewing and is willing to pay for it, no matter how much it may cost

⊱ Tsukasa was absolutely shocked when he heard about it... your teacher yells at you just because you need more time?!! That's ridiculous!

⊱ so on the next day he went to your teacher and had a chat with them, he wasn't screaming or insulting, he started slowly and calmly but then it turned into one big performance of his

⊱ so he got nothing done and instead put his acting skills in actions so your teacher may had let out few laughs or giggles but he probably made no progress for you...

⊱ but he won't stop at that! He doesn't get a single thing from sewing but he does know a lot of people! And if he'd have to, he's willing to approach random person on street and ask them for help

⊱ in the end, he'll probably end up clinging to you while comforting you through it all and assuring you that you're doing good job

"YN, I'm sure with this much time, you'll be better than all your classmates! But for now let's take a break, alright? I even got you your favorite drink to cheer you up!"

⊱ and when he sees all your plans you have then he's absolutely amazed! He hates that you don't do them just because you think you're not good enough so he makes it his duty to either boost your confidence or help you learn it!

⊱ you may need some time to learn few stuffs but he sees nothing bad in it, in fact he still talks proudly about you in front of his friends and anyone really

⊱ Rui would be lying if he said he didn't noticed that you learned a bit slower but he truly didn't mind that! In fact he somehow found it quite adorable~

⊱ although when your teacher scolds you for it instead of helping you, he can't help but loose hope in humanity even more...

⊱ but luckily for you, he knows basics fom sewing since it was useful to him during makin some of his inventions so he may help you a bit or at least get you on the right track faster

"Hmm... hey I might be wrong but shouldn't you do it this way? As I said I'm not sure but that's what I could understand from this tutorial..."

⊱ he's really ready to sit next to you and try to understand what you need to learn along your side, at first it was just to help you out but later on he started to be more and more interested in it as well

⊱ whenever you understand something with his help, he'll just smile proudfully and maybe plant a small kiss on your forehead while saying how proud he is from you~

⊱ and when he sees your sketches, he'll ask if it'll make it easier for you to sew if you saw your ideas in 3d, and if your answer is yes then you can expect new invention dedicated to you on the next day!

⊱ when you walk into his room, you can see few inventions that he created after being inspired by some of your works

❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉

[veeples]

book recommendations

@lavampira AND @narrativefoiltrope beloveds tagged me! thank you for the tag dani and i'm still soooo thrilled you loved goth western so much <3

tagging: @nerdferatum and @winesharksea and anyone else! tbh if you're a mutual of mine and you're on storygraph hmu, i love following other people and seeing what they're reading.

1. the last book I read:

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory by Caitlin Doughty — I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't expecting to tear up from a memoir detailing her year working for a crematory, but it ended up being a very touching experience in understanding how Caitlin went from college graduate to eventual Ask a Mortician (one of my fave youtubers I miss her so much). It is a book that deals with death, both the traumatic and the relatively peaceful, so maybe not the LIGHTEST of reads, but one I actually wanna re-visit soon!

2. a book I recommend:

The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin — I got recommended this series by @queerbrujas, and wow! I think if you're someone whose interested for a sort of, soft start into sci-fi, the elements are there and add value, but the emotional arcs and world building that unfolds is just so masterfully done. Once I really got into the first book, I tore through the next two in the series with relative ease.

3. a book that I couldn’t put down:

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo — This is just a super fun fantasy read!! It makes me wanna read more like, fast paced heist sort of novels. Each character in the ensemble has a strong personality so they all stand out from each other, but they complement each other well and offer interesting relationships with each other! I was so enamored by the book I had to run out to a store to buy the sequel the night I finished it.

4. a book I’ve read twice (or more):

The Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir — Funny thing is, I almost never re-read books because I feel like, good God I already have so many on my to be read list that I keep adding onto, I don't have time to re-read books. But this series has a ton of re-readability value, and it's almost necessary to take a second or third or fourth pass (depending on how insane you are) to pick up on the subtleties and the continuous narrative of themes that Muir puts down once you get past the memes and lesbians. I'm putting the whole series here because I've read Gideon the Ninth, Harrow the Ninth, and Nona the Ninth 2-3 times now and will probably re-read again before Alecto the Ninth comes out (impatient grumbling).

5. a book on my TBR:

Sterling House by Alix E. Harrow — Can I be completely honest, I actually don't know that much about this book. A librarian gave me a little book magazine when I was picking up some books one day and this book was on the cover. And the cover was just very pretty. I'm a very shallow person, you see. Also a bit like a bird because I see something pretty and I want it. But I also really wanna read Dungeon Meshi, so there's that too.

6. a book I’ve put down:

The Telling Room: A Tale of Love, Betrayal, Revenge, and the World's Greatest Piece of Cheese by Michael Paterniti — This book was honestly such a drag to read. Slow paced and at 80% in, I still hadn't gotten to the confrontation between the original cheesemaker and his best friend who sold his family's cheese and business for money, which is so hyped up. There's a point to it taking so fucking long, and the point is, that's apparently just how the people the author visited told stories. Long winding tales with bunches of offshoots. Probably great as an orally told story. Bit miserable as written word.

7. a book on my wishlist:

The Unclaimed: Abandonment and Hope in the City of Angels by Stefan Timmermans, Pamela Prickett — This one I saw in an e-mail for new books that came out in March, I think, and I have an interest in funeral practices and issues in modern day death management, thanks to being such a big fan of Caitlin Doughty. This book deals with the growing phenomenon of the unclaimed dead, which got touched upon in one of Caitlin's books, but not expanded upon. I try not to buy books if I can avoid it, but this one being so new and probably a little too niche for my library, I'll have to purchase it if I wanna read it!

8. a favorite book from my childhood:

??? — I don't think I have one to speak of that I can remember. I remember really being enchanted with some book about a girl finding a secret garden, so maybe it was Literally just The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgsen Burnett. Or like, I really liked the kid's book about the old lady who swallows a fly. Does that count???

9. a book you would give to a friend:

Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson — This book was recommended to me by a friend, specifically the audiobook version. And wow, yeah! I kind of judge audiobook, and really narrator quality, by this one! The narrator put so much love and emotion into narrating the book, which really highlighted the emotional high points and made them punchier. This book may have made cry a little because I am always a sucker about characters who feel they don't fit in anywhere, who feel odd, who feel different, but find support and community and love with other people who feel the same way. So, like, I would definitely give this book to someone if they wanted an introduction to how good audiobooks can be.

10. a book of poetry or lyrics you own:

The Essential Neruda: Selected Poems by Pablo Neruda — I bought the bilingual version of this book last year so I could see how Spanish is used in poetry, and then found out that he has a complex way of using Spanish so maybe it's not that useful. <3 And then I didn't read it at all, it's still on my bookshelf. Judging me. u_u I'll get to it one day.

11. a nonfiction book you own:

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado — Don't remember how this book got on my radar, but I went out and bought it and was so pleasantly surprised by how the style Machado uses in it to detail her memoir of an abusive relationship. So it's not a light read whatsoever, but just by style alone made it very evocative, it almost reads like literary fiction. I never thought about approaching memoirs or non-fiction in what I figure is a kind of non-standard way, so it stands out from the other non-fiction books I've read.

12. what are you currently reading:

Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver — So this is apparently a sort of, like, modern retailing of Charles Dickens' David Copperfield, which I would have got, except like, I'm not that big of a literary nerd. So I had to look that up. Really, it caught my attention because I'm currently re-listening to a fave podcast, Old Gods of Appalachia, and this book is set in like, 80s-90s Appalachia so it's adjacent enough to my interest. So far it is masterfully written and has such a strong voice for the narrator and protagonist. It's also a thick ass book, well over 500 pages which is a bit out of my usual range, but it's been nice to sit down with a longer story that feels like I'm sitting down to listen to the guy tell me his life's story.

13. what are you planning on reading next:

??? — Bruv who knows? I don't plan these things until I'm done with whatever I'm reading now u.u. I have a little gay romance I bought during indie bookstore day and I also promised @sysba to read some other Chinese manhua with some other sad tragic gay boys. It'll probably be that one.

[juneviews]

Heyyy girl! Not sure if you’ve answered this before but what are your fave non gmmtv bls/Thai dramas?🪷💗

hi anon! I don't think I actually have, all in the same post! let's go <3

I TOLD SUNSET ABOUT YOU

I've talked about this show about a thousand times already, so I'll keep it short: this is the only show I consider truly perfect, from its writing, cinematography, acting, chemistry, storyline, soundtrack, etc. it's not for everyone bc it's VERY angsty but it's deffo my cup of tea & I'm gonna be honest teh's coming out storyline was extremely important to me as it came right before I also finally accepted my bisexuality. overall just my favorite show, so important & beautiful with deeply flawed characters <3

PROJECT S: SKATE OUR SOULS

this show is the only other one with itsay I've rated a 10/10 in my life, even though it's not perfect, because it literally changed my life. the last sentence of the show literally helped me get over the worst depressive episode of my life, which is a pretty goddamn beautiful result for a show about depression. even though it's not entirely perfect, it's still an extremely well written show, has a gorgeous cinematography full of neons, incredible performances & a story that was so important to tell. I couldn't recommend it more!

PROJECT S: SIDE BY SIDE

in also a near flawless show, we have this show. it's a very touching story that will make you cry, tries to understand all of its characters, with stunning acting performances from everyone, and it's just the kind of shows I don't see anyone disliking tbh. very well executed & definitely an all time favorite of mine :)

THE REVENGE

probably the most underrated show on this list, this is actually the show I'm the most upset about being underrated lol, bc it's literally SO GOOD. if it was a korean show it'd go viral type of good. this is a very fucked up story so not for the faint of heart but it's executed extremely well, and honestly I don't have much negative to say about this show. flawless performances, an extremely impactful show, and forever one of my favorite thai dramas ever made!

SLEEPLESS SOCIETY: INSOMNIA

another highly underrated thai drama that no one has watched. this is female-led, touches on politics & corruption, has a very different setting from usual & a great plot through and through. the ending is also super iconic & stays on my mind to this day. I really encourage anyone to watch it!

MY RIDE

if you like love sick or my school president, I think my ride will be your cup of tea. it's a pretty simple story but with such lovable characters & a beautiful healthy ship that it immediately became one of my favorite comfort shows. it's the ultimate proof that even a more simple story can be beautiful if given enough soul, quirkiness & love :)

IN FAMILY WE TRUST

in family we trust is a lakorn, but it doesn't feel like a lakorn. apart from the obviously beyond iconic cast at every level, the writing & cinematography are leagues above any other lakorns. for a murder story that should be pretty straightforward, they managed to weave in the interpersonal relationships of the characters perfectly, and this is the kind of show that you can put down once you start. if you've never watched lakorns before, I'd recommend this one to start with since it's quite similar to regular series.

TO SIR, WITH LOVE

another lakorn, another slay! this one is way more lakorn-y so I don't think it's for everyone, but it's literally the only lakorn that treats its queer characters fairly lol & it's such a beautiful love story. it's very dramatic bc 1) lakorn & 2) historical drama with repressed queer characters, but everything in this drama just HITS. you care for the characters so much, and the brother relationship is also so supportive & beautiful and I'm so glad the show never compromised it for some petty drama. overall this show put me through all the emotions & I loved it so much for it lol

GREAT MEN ACADEMY

this show is the proof of the kind of imagination thai film makers have when they get a good budget. the world building of that show is so vibrant & fun, but more than that the writing is really good with endearing characters, good interpersonal relationships, and a really beautiful love story & plot. this is just such a nice show to watch, even with its kind of childish aspect, and once again the cast is great since it's the same as in in family we trust lol. watch both shows back to back & be shook at how drastically different yet so good they both are :)

THE DEBUT

another super underrated show that no one has watched but fucking slaps. not only is it female-led with amazing performances (and a great cast!), but this show really is so well written, with a mystery & a plot twist that will pull you in and make you bingewatch it. the cinematography & colors also slap, and overall it's such a good show that I wish more people would watch.

xxx

[machinesbleedtoo]

This is going to be totally random and maybe odd to say, buuuut. I was going through old faves of mine, noticed a piece you did of Darkshore last year, and it made me remember something that I thought you might appreciate.

Long long ago, you did a piece of WoW fanart (of your priest character way back when), and at the time I saw it, I was truly enamored. (I feel like this was back on Deviantart, but I really can't remember now, lol.) There was something so haunting and beautiful about it. I played WoW too, but I had never considered playing Forsaken because I had a little bit of a fear of zombies. But seeing your art as well as the description that accompanied it managed to inspire me... so much that I ended up making my own Forsaken priest, and she's ended up being one of my favorite characters. You sparked in me an appreciation of the dark and grotesque and creepy, and finding the beauty that can be in those things. And I'm not really scared of zombies anymore!

I guess what I wanted to convey is that back then you inspired me, and even now you inspire me! I really love the atmosphere and emotion you can convey in your art.

Lots of love~ <3

omg!! that would have been deviantart, yeah. was it this one?

I've thought about repainting this many times, not because I feel it needs to be repainted. I just like the setting, colours and pose a lot, and it'd be fun to do again. It's one of the few artworks of mine that's over a decade old that I still like looking at.

I'm glad to hear I helped with the zombie fear, all I really wanted to do with my art was to have people find unpleasant things tolerable enough to sit with and think about. because those things aught to be thought about and appreciated, too.

Thank you for telling me this story. I wish we all had the courage to tell each other stories like this. the world would feel less lonely. how lovely it is that each of us influences every environment we traverse through merely because we traversed it.

[mute-call]

ok as per usual im gonna dump all my ideas here & figure them out later <3

v; your bell telephone factory : dsaf-fluid factory phone au.

things i Want / need to keep in mind bc i want to use them / also make this unique from his other verses:

he's not the only pg!! i'll go refresh myself on the generations but i think i want him uhhhh peter-esque.......? bro idk i need my dsaf friends to remind me of stuff. basically i want him to have access to his pre-phone memories but not Immediate Complete access

im sorry i refuse to name any pg of mine scott cawthon all my besties hate scott cawthon <3 . but the pg name can be scott gyver in honor of one of my fave canon phone guy designs

blue head. i cant wait to confuse people by using my animatronic icons for non-animatronic verse >:)c

steven should have worked with other pgs in the past when he was human. i think he would have been lowkey scared of them but also never really got in trouble w them. uneasy alliance /lh. steven voice hey my life might suck but at least i dont have a phone for a head! haha. ha. ha

alright down to the details!

i’m thinking he discovers one of the kids’ bodies in the suits if I want to differentiate, or i can steal from dsaf & let him catch William (Henry?) in the act. I think either would work well for him tbh.

additional / alternate idea.... he gets caught during fnaf 2 shit. not a manager at that point (some other pg is). catches william using the suit & gets Done For. previous pg gets scrapped after all that shit goes down & steve comes to look over fnaf 1. it like. goes ok for a while & then the location goes into decline but doesnt technically close so he is just Standing There. <3 . he takes over night shift bc he just fucken lives there basically. has some line about how he's less likely to get his head bit in now that it's plastic so this is the best option for everyone.

im so indecisive about how & when he should die pre-phone. idk man idk. i think this is one of those things i need to develop better in threads / might be flexible & set at diff points thread to thread

pre-phone steve....

drawing from my hcs about him when he was younger, i think pre-phone phoney was SO bright & cheerful & nicies...

really good with the kids. excited about his first real job to support his family. not yet beaten down by fnaf-slash-dsaf shenanigans

i guess he'd die younger than 30 in this unless he gets phone-ified after his canon death point but that doesnt make much sense. so. itty bitty phone. youngun.

post-phone scott....

i am SO into the idea that he's never fired anyone. pushover of a phone!!!

he & peter can share their fake little photo of a completely different phone guy w a completely different family /lh. pg's so excited to have kids :) . he talks about them all the time! please stop telling him they dont exist!!!

partially to differentiate from animatronic verses & partially to bring in his fnaf 1 characterization i think he's pretty chill as far as pgs go. like he'll ask you to stop screwing stuff up but he'll also just shrug and leave if you tell him to shut up about it T_T . very difficult to rile up.

i think one benefit of phoneification for him was removing his guilt about jeremy where applicable. i think i am leaning more towards steve being human for that game, and the bite of '87 stuff being a real turning point for him in terms of . everything. (but blue, wouldnt it make more sense for him to die BEFORE the bite? yes. <3 and yet /lh).

i think he & jeremy would have been closer if he hadn't been manager + everything that happened there fucked him up severely. luckily, as a phone, he doesnt feel much about it at all!

is there anything im missing..... idk more to come. etc.

[thecraftybear]

I think tumblr ate my previous attempt at this ask so here it goes again

assuming the "birophile" in your bio means you love beers... do you have a fave beer?

if you can't choose only 1, tell me what beer should I ABSOLUTELY try if I'm.ever in Poland?

I don't really have a fave beer, because my choice of drink depends on too many changing factors. But if you're ever in Poland and want to try a decent beer, I can safely recommend most stuff produced by Browar Trzech Kumpli. They're Polish craft beer veterans who managed to weather the Covid crisis (which severely impacted the scene, due to their dependence on pubs), their products' quality is high and steady, and they balance a lineup of evergreens with the occasional experiment. They excel at American styles of pale ale, but also do very well with other types (their take on Grodziskie, a historical Polish style, is perfect for hot weather). Their beers are available (variably) in Lidl and sometimes other supermarket chains.

If you're out on the town, there's a multitude of good brews to be found, as long as you don't mind tracking down a decent pub. Most restaurants and clubs are too focused on wide appeal, so they serve watery corporate swill, but smaller pubs and certain restaurants (such as Chmielarnia in Warsaw - great Nepalese and Thai food, btw) instead get their stock directly from breweries or specialty suppliers. There's a ton of good breweries out there, and I haven't been much of a pub wanderer in recent years, so I don't have any specific recommendations. The last new brewery that made a very good impression on me was Browar Sarabanda with their Cold IPA, a year ago. I'm not up to date on their releases though.

In a different weight category, since they're regional (rather than micro) breweries that made it big, I can also recommend Browar Kormoran and Browar Na Jurze. They both have solid lineups of traditional and new wave styles, but are more tame with experimental beer (except Kormoran sometimes releases a limited edition heavyweight). Their Baltic Porters are really good for colder seasons, and mature well in my beer cupboard 😆 They're easy to find in supermarkets and have a good price to quality ratio.

If you happen to be in Warsaw, I can recommend one specialty shop downtown: Piwomaniak. The owner really knows his stuff. His advice will be much more valuable than mine, considering I've been out of the loop for a while.

[bcbdrums]

I've noticed you got into soul eater somewhat. What are your favorite characters and why? You don't have to answer this I was just curious I've only heard of soul eater through your blog.

Ah yes, I'll tell you exactly how that happened.

So back in June....

Me: You're into Soul Eater now, what's that? Friend: It's MINE you can't have any. Me: Ohh-kay lol.

Jump to August, when I drove about 14 hours to my friend's house...

Me: We're gonna go fishing, and shopping, and go to the fair, and go to the caves, and eat nacos, and we're gonna— Friend: LET'S BINGE SOUL EATER ALL WEEK Me: Ohh-kay lol.

And that's the long and short of that LOL @midnightcaptions ain't even sorry. Neither am I.

I was surprised I liked it actually, I hadn't expected to. The characters especially are very creative and have a depth that intrigues me. Also, the universe is so complex I feel like....you can't actually understand the whole thing on your first watch? Gotta watch the show many times to fully comprehend how that universe's magic works... And even then maybe not get it. I know it's confusing the heck out of me.

Fave chars... I'll start by saying I love all of them. Like I said, each one is creative and has a lot of depth. But I do have faves.

I'm addressing the beginning of this answer as if to people who are familiar with the show, and after that, I'll answer it as if to those who are not familiar like yourself. You can skip to that if you want. So for those who KNOW what Soul Eater is all about....

I'm pretty obsessed with Stein and Spirit. Not as a ship, but... I wanna know their story. I wanna know about their academy days, about these "experiments" Stein did... I wanna know about Spirit's ex-wife and how she actually managed to get him away from Stein. And where is Maka's mother, really. I just know there's a LOT more going on there than what's said onscreen. Because of what we know about the academy in the present day, we can make assumptions about the past....and too many things just don't add up. Like...none of it. None of it adds up. So yeah, those two are my current faves and I'm slowly developing headcanons to fill in all those gaps that have me so desperately curious. As of right now, my fave ep is the ep where Stein and Spirit team up again for the first time against Crona. They're both just so awesome in that ep and I love it. A little glimpse of what things should be like... What a meister and weapon partner at ultimate synchronicity should be... Idk. I just really like them. As to the main three and their weapons, I think I like them all equally? They're all unique and each pair's story is unique (or trio in Kid's case). I don't think there's been any episode I've been disappointed in... Like, if it's a Maka and Soul ep, I'm excited. Black Star and Tsubaki, I'm excited. Kid and the twins, I'm excited. I'm excited for all of it. And especially for anything that gets more into the academy's history and all that, like I kinda said before. I even like Excalibur, lol.

OKAY. Now for you, Anon, and anyone who doesn't know what Soul Eater is....

It's set on earth, but it is still its own universe. Like how Marvel for example is set on earth, but you just accept superheroes and magic stuff. So Soul Eater is the same, it's earth but you accept some magic stuff. The story mostly takes place in Death City, which is in Nevada. The main characters are meisters and weapons. A weapon is a human with the ability to transform into a literal weapon, such as a scythe, sword, pistols, and more. Each weapon has a meister. There is a school, the academy, which trains weapons and meister pairs to go out and hunt for evil spirits and destroy them, to protect the earth from evil, and later on more specifically, from madness. This school is run by the Grim Reaper. So the meisters and weapons are all in service to him. The main characters are like, pre-teens/teens. Maka (meister) and Soul Eater (her weapon), Black Star (meister) and Tsubaki (his weapon), and Death the Kid (meister and son of the Grim Reaper) and Liz & Patty Thompson (his twin weapons). There are other main characters but any further mentions would give spoilers... There's spoilers enough already been said in my prior rambling. So that's...the setting. And then of course, stuff goes down. Serious villains show up, gotta save the world from madness... That's all I'm gonna say, no spoilers.

This show is not for kids, lol. And I highly recommend NOT looking up anything that will spoil, it's too confusing and will ruin it. Just watch it. It's only like 52 episodes or something so it's easy to get through. Oh and the manga goes off in a diff direction so again, don't look stuff up cuz even worse spoilers if you get into manga stuff.

So....yeah. It's interesting. Thanks for the ask.