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#CASSIAN READER INSERT
dameronology · 2 years
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Cassian angst. Cassian angst. Cassian angst. CASSIAN ANDOR ANGST. Now, as much as I love fluff and smut, please I’m begging for some Cassian angst! Please break my heart🥴🥴 Maybe with the prompt "i love you. i've always loved you."🫣 Thank you and have an amazing day!!🫶🫶🫶
i'm sat in the library at uni rn and i should be writing my dissertation but i remembered this in my inbox and couldn't stop thinking about it
Cassian hadn't meant to piss you off.
But, if there was one thing he had learnt over the course of your relationship, it was that he never meant to piss you off. The intention was absent but the action was...well, it was present. And pretty fucking constant. He didn't often think about his actions (and even less about the things he said) and more often than not, you found yourselves with locked horns and bitter words. It got to the point where people in the Rebellion would tip-toe around the pair of you just for fear of being caught in the middle of it.
You wouldn't have described yourselves as enemies, not by any stretch of the imagination. Friends was a strong word too. Then again, there didn't seem to be a specific term for co-workers who have been each other's partner in crime for like five years and really admire each other and probably wanna fuck but also there's tension and-
-you probably get the point.
You were only in Cassian's life by circumstance, as he was in yours. The Rebellion forced you together and even though you'd always had the option to work alone or partner up with someone else, you never strayed from his side.
Even when you argued constantly. Even when Cassian pulled the dumbest shit.
"You could have at least asked me before you attacked the base!" you hadn't meant to yell. He just brought it out of you. "There were Storm Troopers everywhere-"
"- I don't need your permission!" Cassian cut you off. "I knew what I was doing. I made it out alive, didn't I?"
"Because of luck, Cass," you muttered. "Dumb fucking luck."
He snorted, rolling his eyes and pointing to you. "You wanna talk about dumb luck?"
"Cut the snide comments," you snapped. "You can't keep avoiding the point I'm making - we're partners and you keep making stupid decisions on your own!"
"So even if I made them with you, they'd still be stupid?"
"Yeah, but we'd be making them together."
"I don't get your logic," he muttered.
"We're meant to be a team," you quietly said. "I've worked with you for the better part of five years. I've tried so hard and sometimes it feels like you don't even like me."
"Hey," Cassian's voice went soft all of a sudden. "That's not true-"
"- I can take the yelling and insults, okay?" you continued. "I just can't deal with you not trusting me in the field. That just feels insulting, like you don't trust me-"
"- I trust you with my life," he cut you off. "More than anyone or anything."
"So why do you act like you hate me?" you pushed.
"I don't hate you..."
"What is it then?" you huffed. "What could possibly make you act like I'm your worst fucking enemy-"
"- I love you," he said. "I've always loved you."
"You do?"
"It seems as though there is a fine line between love and hate and how it makes someone act, but I have never been more sure of where I stand," Cassian admitted. "Do you ever see me arguing with anyone the way I do with you? Trying to protect them that way, or care about them that way?"
"No. I don't."
"There you go, then," he smiled. "I love you."
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Four to Tango (poly!Mates Bat Boys)
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Pairing(s): Rhysand x Reader, Cassian x Reader, Azriel x Reader
Warnings: foursome, smut, just a reason to create smut where three gorgeous fucking men rearrange your organs, cunnilingus, fingering, p in v, never ending orgasms lol, overstimulation, all three of them are utter teases, polyamorous mates, no jealousy, rhys loves to watch his brothers fuck you stupid, my emotional support bat boys, i desperately need them rn, foursomes are hard to write ngl 🫠
Words: 5836
Summary: Three of them at the same time? You may not make it out alive.
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Life before your three mates had never consisted with as much sex as it does now. In fact you were a virgin when you met the Illyrian trio. Not for lack of trying to get into a relationship. There were other concerns for you to attend to that distracted you from finding a partner.
Then Azriel literally fell into your lap. Followed by Cassian descending from the sky while laughing at the other who was blushing furiously and trying to scramble off of you with a string of apologies. Rhysand, with a flap of his wings touches down to the ground with an entertained grin. Until his violet eyes noticed you. Really noticed you. Almost reading into your soul.
Had it really been only four months since then?
Thinking about it had you blushing into your pillow. Four months of mind shattering orgasms and lavished with never ending affection. You must have really been good in your past life to receive these three as a reward.
Rhys shifts beside you. Voice husky from sleep but practically purring when he wraps his arms around you. "Seems like its been longer than four months, huh?"
His palms flatten against your midsection. Warmth immediately spreading across the plane of your skin. You wiggle closer to him and in reply, Rhys buries his face in the juncture of your neck. His lips pepper small kisses along the soft skin of your jugular.
He took turns with Cassian and Azriel as to who spent the night with you. It was only fair. You told them that you cared for them all equally and it didn't matter to you. You'd accept whatever they could agree upon without there being any jealousy.
Rotating was tricky in the beginning. Giving them each the same amount of attention to prevent feelings of being left out. And maybe you were starting to get greedy with their love because you couldn't help but feel incomplete without the other two when you were in one's bed.
Your inner musing catches Rhysand's attention; seemingly waking him up. The arm laying on top of you is removed when he sits up. Did you unintentionally offend him with your thoughts?
"Would you be interested in all three of us here?" He questions.
You turn to address the high lord of the Night Court. Beautifully and sinfully sexy the way he leans on his elbow to gaze at you. Tousled black hair shifting across his brow. What an alluring sigh the made. Tattoos and scars marking the smooth surface of his tan skin.
"All three of you in this bed?" It had been done before when you wanted to cuddle with all three of your mates. Rhys' bed nearly broke, not large enough to support two extra heavy frames.
"More than that." Rhysand's thumb brushes a stray hair out of your face. The depth of his tone had a warmth shooting down to your core. Thighs press together, you melt under his attention. "All three of us feasting upon you. At the same time." A growling undertone hits your ears. Your breathing becomes shallow as he holds your gaze.
You gulp, mind already racing when you whimper out "A-All of you?"
Rhys reads each and every one of your dirty thoughts, his lips curling sinisterly. "Can I take that as a 'yes', love?"
A furious blush overheats your cheeks and the tips of your ears. "I-I. . . How would that even work out?"
He leans in and nips at your already burning shell of your ear "You leave that to us."
Ever loving to tease you, he leaves with that promise hanging in the air. Claiming he had work to do but that he'd see you for lunch. For a while you lay in bed, thinking of the dark glint in your mate's eyes.
Surely, all three of them would be way too much for you to handle. Each of them were terrifyingly well-endowed. Especially Azriel. It took several tries to get more than the head of his cock inside of you. In the end he had to ease it in slowly over several dates until you could fully sheath him.
It became your hyperfixation throughout the day. As you went about the House of Wind to when you were out in the town market.
When you bump into Mor back at the townhouse, she manages to make you squeal on what Rhys had brought up earlier that morning.
Mor lets out a low, impressed whistle. "You have got to be the luckiest female in all of Prythian. What are you sweating about?"
"I can barely handle one of them at a time, Mor. I fear they'll kill me. Death by cock. I don't want that on my tombstone."
"Death by cock doesn't sound too bad." she hums but it turns into a snort when she catches your distressed expression. "Quit fretting. They'll take good care of you."
Chewing on your bottom lilp you knew you probably came off as silly to her.
Mor's hand caresses your upper arm. In a short amount of time, Mor had become the big sister you never knew you needed. She became your confidant and would keep all of your secrets; take them to the grave if required. "They're dumb males but they love you. Never in a million years would they ever dream of doing anything to hurt you."
That was clear to you since day one. The Cauldron destined all three of them to be your mates for a reason.
And it could be fun.
Who were you kidding, you knew it would be fun. Having sex with them individually always reduced your bones to pure pudding. They were overly generous lovers. Always making sure you climaxed first. Treating you not like a queen but a divine entity to be worshipped. Their faces, your thrones.
Talking with Mor did you good. You felt absurd at your previous concern. This would be the experience of a lifetime. Getting to love all three of your mates at once had you giddy.
After Mor leaves, you're constantly checking the clock. Almost lunch time. That meant your boys would be home at any minute. Your heart felt like a energetic bird in a cage, banging against its bars in desperation to get out.
You debate going upstairs and changing your underwear to something sexier when you stand to head toward the stairs, that's when the front door opens. Poking your head out from around the corner, you confirm it to be your boys. You were still getting used to the feeling of the mental connection that connected you to your three mates. Cassian and Az are in the middle of a conversation behind Rhysand when the trio walks in. Rhys grins at you before grabbing the attention of the Illyrians who stop their chatter.
Never one to be subtle, Cassian struts past them and pulls you out into the entry hallway. He swoops down to capture your lips with his, picking you off your feet unintentionally. His kisses always took all the air out of you, making your head delightfully light and floating. Cassian's eyes hold specks of glittering gold when he returns you to the ground.
"Welcome home." you breathily greet him. You swear Cassian puffs his chest out like a proud parrot every time he can get your vision to go starry with his kisses.
"You should've moved in a long time ago. I like coming home to you." Cassian's voice is smooth, deep as if purring.
Rhysand chuckles at your swooning thoughts toward the general. "Easy Cass. Get her any more riled up and we may not make it to the bedroom in time."
The cool caress of Azriel's shadows slithering up your legs accelerates the 'lub dub' of your chest.
"Aw, am I exciting you princess?" The general gets an immediate reaction when he picks up the scent of your arousal dripping from between your legs. Dark delight curls Cassian's lips.
Rhysand and Azriel appear to smell you as well. Hunger straightens their backs and their pupils blowing out. Azriel's serpentine shadows squeeze the fat of your upper thigh, another prods curiously at your clothed pussy, asking for permission inside. "Now sweetling, you wouldn't want anyone to come upon us and ruin our fun. Be a good girl and head up those stairs."
"You heard him." Rhysand reinforces Azriel's command when you hesitate, your face beet red. His chin tilts up, gesturing to the staircase on your right.
They looked like three wolves before they pounce on the poor unsuspecting lamb. You go up the stairs on wobbly legs. Every inch of you tingled with anticipation feeling the heat of the boys at your back. They're basically panting behind you, forced to watch the sway of your hips and ass as you go up one step and then another. Its a race to the bedroom door. You're the one to twist the knob, but its the flat of three palms against the door's smooth frame that shove it wide open. Cassian scoops you up, the ground slipping out from under you.
Cassian twirls you around before settling you down on the mattress like the treasure you were. If he possessed a tail, you bet all the riches in Prythian that it would be wagging fast. His lips are placing kisses all along your exposed legs, having flipped your dress skirts up. You uncontrollably giggle when he reaches the upper insides of your thighs, so close to your core.
You catch Rhysand's dark chuckle, the door closing shut follows after.
"Impatient as ever, Cass." Azriel comments and moves to one side of Rhys' bed while Rhysand stalks toward the other.
Hovering over you with his hair tickling your face, Cassian smirks and gifts you one last kiss before allowing you to sit up. With your three mates in front of you, you couldn't help feeling a little shy. Individually, you'd become sexually confident with them. But to have three pairs of lustful eyes all focused in on you. . .
You fidget and squirm, feeling the space between your legs flutter. "S-So. . . how is this going to work?"
"Nervous?" Rhysand reaches his hand out to gently stroke a lock of your hair.
"A little. I mean, to have the Night Court's high lord, general and spymaster all together is a bit intimidating. But I trust all of you." You grip Rhys' hand and move it towards your lips to kiss his knuckles; swearing that you hear him sharply inhale as you do so. You spoke the truth when you said you trusted them. They had you feeling confident and bold with the lavish amounts of love that they bestowed you with each day. How they made you feel like you could take on the very world itself as long as they were by your side.
Letting go of Rhysand's hand, you start to undress; overtly cognizant of their heated stares. Fully naked, you decide that Azriel's been so patient in waiting for attention. He grins when you crawl onto his lap and cup his jaw to pull him into a fervant kiss. His wings twitch and the shadows that perpetually clung to him push you closer against his form. In the background, you hear Rhysand and Cassian shuffle around. You wonder if they'd talked about this often.
"Oh, we have." Rhysand grins. "Many times. Sweetling, you have no idea the of the plans we've devised."
Azriel bites your lip in the moment making you gasp. Those powerful hands of his grip your ass tightly, forcefully moving you in a grinding motion against his hardening cock. Not caring that a smear of your arousal shined on the fabric of his pants.
"All the ways we can absolutely devour you."
Behind you, sharp teeth graze your shoulder making you squirm even more on Azriel's lap.
"The delicious thing that you are, it was necessary to. . . coordinate our moves." They move from your shoulder to your neck.
Your moans are unrestricted, they simply go directly into Az's mouth. He greedily feasts on them, tendrils of shadows softly gliding down your calf and to your ankles.
Now, Az.
You're not spared even a second before you're flipped around. Azriel takes hold of your wrists, splaying you out in front of Rhysand and Cassian. Their tattoos free from the confines of their shirts. And of course their well endowed shafts were already hard.
Rhysand is on his stomache, creeping closer to your pussy lips to brush his mouth against it before nuzzling with the tip of his nose at that little bundle of nerves that had the muscles in your thighs twitching. Teasing at first until his tongue lazily toys with it.
Azriel has you completely restrained. Nowhere for you to run or hide.
Fingers rub along your labia that was coated in your slick. Rhysand uses his fingers to gently pull your lower lips apart.
Your hazy gaze falls on Cassian who is gently stroking himself. He sends you a wolfish grin when he catches you. "Feel good, princess?"
All you can give out in response is a kiltered mewl. Rhysand was making his circles larger and larger around your clit. The tip of his finger starts to tickle at your entrance.
"A-Aahh-" Head lolling back, it falls against Azriel's shoulder. He's kissing the length of your neck, definitely leaving love bites.
Inch by inch, Rhysand inserts his index finger in you and ever so gently begins to curl his finger from inside of you. It's featherlight but enough to send an electric jolt through you and up your throat. Between your legs, Rhysand is constantly changing his speed and pressure. You squirm when Rhysand easily slips another finger inside of you and picks up his tongue speed on your clit.
You're trying your best to gyrate your hips to a near grind against Rhysand's face but Azriel's pesky shadows simply wouldn't allow it.
"Please!" You moan with another pathetic thrust of your hips.
Rhysand's lips smirk against your pussy.
"What do you say, general? Should the high lord let our well mannered lady come?" croons Azriel as he nips at the soft spots on your neck.
The tip of Cassian's cock is blushing with the most perfect bead of precum like a pearl. His lips curl in a smile when he catches your pretty eyes staring at him. He makes a show and swoops his thumb over the tip of his cock, dilated pupils observing how your mouth unconsciously opens with want to take in Cassian's member. And he would love to shove his cock down your throat, but that would have to be another time.
Instead, Cassian chooses to cock his head in scrutiny. "Too soon, don't you think?"
You desperately shake your head in disagreement but behind you Azriel laughs. "You're a cruel bastard aren't you?"
Shrugging indifferently before turning a wicked smirk your way, Rhysand returns to teasingly feasting on you as you squirm to shove your pussy closer to his mouth. He reduced his tongue strocks to pathetic kitten licks that had you wanting more.
Replacing Azriel's hands was the cool grip of his shadows as his hands now grip your tits. Scarred finger pads toy with your nipple until both are erect. Between your legs Rhys continues running the flat of his tongue up and down, dealing little rolls of the tip of his tongue against your clit occasionally. Just enough to keep you on the edge.
You're a whimpering, moaning mess. Half lidded eyes are barely able to make out the now fuzzy image of Cassian as he strolls to your other side. He puts one knee on the bed and leaning on his hands for support, he bites at your free tit that isn't being tortured by Azriel's loving pinches. His mouth latches on instantly.
Focus all over the place, you're lost in your own heady bliss and while you were denied your orgasm, your whole body was trembling from your mates' individual actions.
When Rhysand sits up, you nearly scream in frustration and pull at your shadowy restraints. "No!!"
They laugh at you and the bucking of your hips against empty air. You find yourself being manhandled once again, your tummy pressed against the mattress with your ass high in the air. Instead of Azriel's cock springing in front of your face its' Cass'.
Not needing any instructions, you take him into your mouth. You feel Cassian twitch against your tongue.
"See what a good girl she is, Cass? Come on. She deserves to come." the High Lord runs his hand along your flank, giving the globes of your ass a small squeeze. "Accidentally" slipping his thumb past your pussy lips.
Just to show Cassian what a good girl you were, you swallow more of his girth down your throat and hum. The vibrations that jolt up his cock has Cassian jerking his hips with a groan and threading his fingers into your hair. Rolling his head back, Cassian feels the walls of your throat tighten.
Through the warming of his face, Cassian trains his eyes back on your face.
"I think to sweeten the general up, perhaps our good girl should make the general come." You barely hear Azriel's smooth voice over the pounding of blood vessels in your ears. The entirety of the bottom of your face is covered in your own saliva and Cassian's precum. Your breathing was labored as you even struggled to inhale through your nose. Determination burning you up from the inside as you enjoy Cassian's cacophony of moans. Fueling the inferno in your core that has you wantonly feverish.
Obscenities made up of wet gagging noises coming from you and Cassian's own erratic growls fill Rhysand's master bedroom.
If anyone were to walk by outside-
"Don't think of that." Lightly scolds Rhysand. "There is no world except for the one in this room." His tongue licks from your clit to your perineum making you shiver and moan with your mouth full of Cassian.
There's a tug from Cassian's hand in your hair, pulling you back to the present matter at hand. He grinds his hips against your face. You're more than happy to forget about any sense of decorum or shame.
Your thoughts please Rhysand as he practically purrs against your pussy before he starts a full on make-out session with your lower lips. Your pitiable moans that send pleasurable quivers through Cassian's cock was enough to have his grip tighten in warning before shoving you off. Immediately follows the ribbon of cum shooting from his tip
"F-Fff-Fucking good girl" Cass' tone sounds like a curse but his red cheeks and heaving chest told you plenty. In a appreciative gesture, you run your fingers through the tantalizing streak of his happy trail, skating over the ridge of his cum gutters and up the mountain of abs.
It's all you can do as Rhysand spears that exquisite tongue of into your pussy while also stimulating your clit.
Alright, the general has spoken, sweetling. I'll give you a big reward.
Rhysand makes sure to keep his hands attentive to your messy, wet pussy when he pulls his face away. From the mess you left on his hands, Rhys uses it to coat his cock and and gently taps the tip against your entrance.
All the while Cassian brushes a few strands of hair out of your face before cupping it in his massive, callused hands. He always held you like you were a fragile egg. Intently watching every twitch of your face as Rhysand slowly pushes the blunt end of his cock into you. Inch by inch, he sheathes his member; like a sword with its scabbard. Your mouth parts, forming a soft 'o' shape as you feel your gummy walls accommodate his girth. For even Rhysand its a snug fit but being patient rewards him. Strong hands keep your hips in place.
Need to make sure I stretch you out a little before you take Az.
You're surprised you have a bit of your whits with you as you numbly think Where is Az?
"I'm right here, princess." Azriel sits on the bed once again, this time matching everyone else's nudity.
Again you're taken aback by how truly lucky you are when you gaze at Azriel and Cassian with half-lidded eyes. Cassian was already at half-mast in a matter of seconds thanks to the way your tits bounced when Rhysand fluidly slid his cock in and out. The powerful lines that composed their physique. Each muscle a testament to the trials and tribulations they have survived through. Your mates.
"Yes." He picks up his pace while swiping his thumb over your clit. "We're all your's sweetling." Heat radiating off of Rhysand makes your back start to sweat. Especially when he leans his forehead to press against your shoulder as he nearly folds over you, his thrusts becoming more animalistic as he neared the pinnacle of his own pleasure.
It's ridiculous how hard Rhysand can make you come. Overwhelming that your own small body could hardly contain it in your physical vessel. You can't help the tears that warm the backs of your eyes as you feel a thousand stars burst from inside of you. Stardust blurs your vision as your pussy walls clamp down on Rhysand mercilessly in your orgasm.
You're grateful that Rhysand solely is keeping you up. Your own body fails you as muscles spasm and every bare inch of you grows overly sensitive to Rhys' tightening grip.
Searing heat fills your core. The only sign that Rhysand has reached his climax as well besides the vicious bites he leaves all over your shoulders.
Your boys laugh when you face plant into the mattress, a heaving mess already and Cassian nor Azriel have had their fun yet. You will your arms to lift you up.
Red faced Rhysand takes pity on you and wraps one arm around your midsection to help you at least sit up enough to focus on the other two males whose chest are heaving just as much as yours'. Azriel's pupils have swelled till they took over his natural eye color. They'd look terrifying if it weren't for their raging cocks.
Well. . . the sight of those impressive members were slightly terrifying but also thrilling. Surprised when you felt your sticky pussy clench with need. Spoiled your cunt had become. Utterly spoiled by your three indulgent mates.
Cauldron grant you strength.
"Az and Cass will take care of you while I get you some water." Rhysand breathily tells you as he attempts to catch his own breath. You pout slightly when he moves to leave. He kisses your lips to placate the pout. "I'll be back. You'll be good. Won't you?"
"Always." You beam up at him. It has Rhysand melting, debating on staying and sending for one of the wraiths to fetch you water, but he knew you loathe the idea of anyone hearing your moans besides your mates.
With another promise of being prompt, Rhysand takes a second to at least put some pants on before leaving the room.
That's when Cassian unexpectedly pounces on you, pushing you back down against the mattress as you squeal your surprise. His lips are all over you, nips and kisses alike.
"Remember, we have to wait for Rhys." Azriel pipes up much to Cassian's chagrin as he shoots the spymaster a tampered down glare. While he's not too bothered with waiting, that doesn't mean he wasn't going to play around with you a little bit.
"Yeah yeah I know." Cass grins, his face leans down to hover over your tits before he takes on in his mouth. His teeth gently tug at your nipple making you warble. He hollows out his cheeks to give it a good suckle. "You'd probably do with a good tit sucking, Az." Comments Cassian once he removes his lips with a loud 'pop' noise.
"Then quit hogging them." Grins Azriel and pushes his brother's face away from your chest. Actually he nearly shoves Cassian off of you in his haste to latch his lips around your pert and abused bud. Imprints of Cassian's front teeth could be made out on the delicate skin of your breasts. Cassian doesn't put up a fight and watches Azriel swiftly clamber atop of you.
His giant wings block out the rest of the room, encasing you so that you could only focus on the spymaster.
He slithers down onto his tummy, his face making a slow ascent to your tits. Biting at the undersides, soft and tender and already baring red marks from Cassian's previous nibbling. Azriel's palm goes to cup at your heated pussy, still slick from your orgasm and leaking even more now with their touches.
You grind against his bare hand, absolutely drooling at the deep growl that rolls through him when you do so. Feel your lower lips spread against his palm, Azriel lets out another debauched groan that was now being muffled thanks to your nipple in his mouth.
Wrapping your arms around Azriel's head, you pull him closer to your chest and weave your fingers into his dark hair. In response his suckling becomes louder, the sensation shooting a thrill to your pussy. You coo praises with your head thrown back and your legs wrapping around Azriel's waist.
"Uh-uh sweetheart." Azriel lifts his face when he feels you trying to wiggle onto his cock. "Cassian has to stretch you out next."
"I've taken you before though. I can do it without any prep." Complaining, you're basically whimpering when Azriel peels himself completely off of you. You want to bite your tongue off for even saying anything.
"Looks like she's about to have a tantrum." Teases Rhysand when he opens the bedroom door to slink back in, but it was true. Azriel had worked you back up and now you were in need of another cock inside of you.
At least he's able to stop your pouting when you hands you water. You didn't realize how parched you were until the first splash of cold water hits your tongue. Guzzling it down, you're not paying attention to your bat boys having a silent conversation. One that you were not allowed in on.
Rhysand winks. Distracting you from Cassian sneaking up and lifting you high up onto his shoulders, smashing his face right into your pussy. Your fingers claw at his shoulders for stability as you feel yourself teeter to and fro.
"Cass!" Squealing, you can't enjoy his tongue fucking into you since you're doing your best to not fall.
Doesn't help when you can feel the vibrations of Cassian's low chuckle.
Its hard to forget just how powerful your mates are. Reminded consistently by their massive muscles. Cassian's hands never quivered in holding you up above his face.
You shiver and go slack jawed.
There you go.
Shadows help you to steady yourself on Cassian's hands, giving him your absolute trust.
When he's satisfied with how wet you are, Cassian slowly moves you down onto his lap. Each inch of him you took in, you let out sweet little cries. Lewd squelches emit from your singing pussy, Azriel and Rhysand watch with rapt attention at the general's cock splitting you open.
Your high lord nudges at his spymaster.
Azriel obeys and right in the middle of a cry provoked by a particularly hard thrust on Cassian's end, Azriel shoves his cock into your wide open mouth. The back of your throat is punched by the tip of Azriel's cock, enticing your gag reflex to choke you. Corners of your mouth ache when your lips have to widen even more in order to take Azriel's fat dick. Your eyes burn with dewey tears and a silver string of saliva dribbles down your chin.
Cassian continues to fuck you harder and your muffled cries has Azriel's spine tingling and his cock twitching in your mouth as his hips continue to thrust in and out.
Even with Cassian supporting all of your weight, you find your thighs trembling and hips quaking every smack of Cassian's pelvis meeting your ass.
Surprisingly, Azriel's own rhythm matched that of Cassian's. They really did plan this out. Impressive.
"We had to plan things out. You could get hurt otherwise." Rhysand replies. He couldn't explain the immense arousal it gave him to watch his brothers spitroast you. To watch the veins in your throat bulge and your red face streaked as pleasure induced tears slip down your cheeks. Quite the sight to behold and the most beautiful image in the world to Rhys.
The same time your head was bobbing, so was your ass as Cassian lets out possessive growls that outwardly had him appearing vicious. Cass' grip on your thighs told him otherwise, it was one of assured strength that he would not let you fall.
He knew you always thought yourself to be the lucky one in the relationship. Lucky to brag of your three strong mates that could rule all of Prythian's courts if they developed the taste for it.
In all honesty, they were the ones who felt like the luckiest bastards.
A mate wasn't something they ever thought would be bestowed to them. Blood trailed behind them. Brutal childhood years that physically and mentally scarred them for life.
You were their reward for all those horrible years.
And he couldn't imagine sharing you with anyone else but his lifelong friends that were basically brothers to him.
You're slapped across the face as another climax seizes control of your limbs. Spasming against Cassian's face that was now utterly demolished by your slick that gave his lips a shiny glaze.
You don't give Azriel an opportunity to pull his member out of your mouth before he too is creaming against your tongue. Thick, long ropes that coats your esophagus.
Abruptly, Azriel rips his cock out of your mouth as Cassian flips you onto your back and with one hand, holds your knee ditch in place and truly pounds into your pussy that had your tits bouncing uncontrollably from the velocity. He's smacking your wet, overly sensitive clit using the flat of his fingers. You shriek, feeling your back swallowed up by the mattress below you. Cassian could crush all of your bones and you wouldn't give a flying fuck in that minute.
With one last, devastating thrust, Cassian spills his warmth into you.
Giving yourselves extra time to come down from yet another post-coital high, Cassian slips out from you and gently places your legs back down. He pats your flank like you're a brood mare. "Atta girl."
Unable to conjure the energy to laugh, instead you wheeze out a scoff and half-heartedly swat at his arm.
He casts Rhysand and Azriel a teasing grin. "She's ready."
Azriel, your usually sweet and gentle Azriel suddenly has a predatory glint in his eyes. "Spread her."
Working together, Rhysand and Cassian grab hold of one leg each; parting them so Azriel can lewdly examine his prey.
"Look at this." Azriel hums and swipes his finger along the slit of your pussy, collecting a bit of Cassian's cum on his index finger. "Already stuffed. I wonder if my cock can even fit in there with both Rhys' and Cass' cum."
Despite your heated blush that made you dizzy, your lips quirk up. "The only way to find out is to try."
With all of the mixed liquids coating your cunt, it was pretty easy for Azriel to slide half of his cock into you. The rest he eased in with a few rocks of his hips. A growl that comes from the pit of his stomach is ripped out of Azriel, his wings flaring out when he takes you. His brothers continue to possess a secure hold on your thighs as their eyes focus in on the contorting features of your face.
The pressure of his cock is enough to pin you down. Overwhelming even but you'd taken his shaft before and you were determined to do it again.
In order to do so, you will your body into complete, ragdoll obedience that relaxes your entire body; even the death grip the walls of your cunt had on Azriel. It garnered him more wiggle room to start bullying his cock further into you.
Rhys actually breathes out a soft laugh "Wow. . . is that what being 'cock drunk' looks like?"
Cassian groans and using his free hand begins to fist his dick. "Cock drunk on Az's cock, princess?"
Unable to laugh, instead Az's lips twitched into a grin; one of his hands roam to stroke your cheek. You're thoughtlessly nodding along to whatever Cassian was saying. All you understood were the two words "Az's" and "cock".
For a second, you really do fear that Azriel will split you in half when his length pushes past the sensitive roof of your pussy and rams its head against your cervix.
Each love tap had your toes curling inward and your eyes rolling back.
Another?
Greedy girl. Do you even know how many times you've come?
You squeal, hips meeting Azriel's in perfect synchronicity. They can taunt you all they wanted. As much as they made you cock drunk, the three of them were completely pussy whipped.
In retaliation Rhysand gives your nipple a harsh tug. "You'll pay for that later, sweetling."
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Exhausted was an understatement.
All four of you lay in a disgusting heap of limbs and collective sweat. Half of Cassian's body hung off the edge of the bed. He didn't mind. At least he was able to cool off even his foot was basically touching the ground and put a few inches between himself and Azriel. You lay between the spymaster and the high lord. Waters were retrieved after the fun was officially over.
Now you lay with your mates sated and unspeakably happy.
Your inner musings have Rhysand smiling. He turns your face toward him using but his fingers on your chin. "We live to make you happy." Rhysand languidly kisses you, enjoying the flavor upon your lips. A combination of everyone's juices. They would help you get to the bath. Eventually.
"I'm taking it the princess was satisfied?" Cheekily grinned Cassian.
You laugh though it costs your body to wince in slight discomfort. "Yes. If you didn't notice, I quite enjoyed myself."
Azriel nuzzles his nose along the length of your neck. Mentally you make a note that you'd have to visit the dressmaker so that they could alter your gowns to make them cover your neck and chest. Without context, many would assume the red marks all over your body was a sign of disease. Showing up to a professional meeting with hickeys all over your body wouldn't bode well either.
"Lets try double penetration next time!" Chimes Cassian.
Mother be good, these boys were certainly going to be the death of you.
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@enchantingcupcakecollectionfan @a-courtof-azriel
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acourtofwhatthefuck · 3 months
Text
Bad for Me — Cassian x Reader
Hi! I found this in my drafts and thought I’d share it while I’m finishing up the next part of Bluebird. I’m not sure why I never posted it 🤔maybe because I don’t think it’s very well written. Also, it seems I was using a prompt list for parts of dialogue in this, but I can’t for the life of me think which one it was 😅but anyway, enjoy an angsty piece with an angsty cliffhanger ending 💅🏻
Word Count: 4.5k
Warnings: None.
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“What the fuck is this?”
There wasn’t a part of you that didn’t shake with anger as you stormed your way into the sitting room. Anger that had built up and festered as the day had faded into night.
It was late. You’d waited up — waited for the telltale, arrogantly loud footsteps that had announced Cassian’s return. Where he’d been all day, you didn’t know nor care.
Sure enough, you found him in his usual chair by the fireplace, a glass of whiskey rested on the arm and his eyes closed. His fingers rubbed circles into his forehead — a positive sign that he was sporting a particularly gruelling headache.
Good. You would yell into his ear until he launched himself off one of the verandas and flew far, far away.
“What is this?” You repeated, chucking the item you held straight onto his lap.
His eyes slowly opened, and he glanced down impassively. “That’s a piece of paper. It’s useful for writing, or drawing, or—”
“Don’t be a smartass.”
It had surprised you, to say the least, to wake up to the folded note on your bedside table — in Cassian’s rough scrawl.
Find yourself a pretty little dress. Don’t make any plans for Friday next. We’re going dancing. Cassian.
“Explain.” You demanded, your tone clipped. Brash.
You didn’t want to go dancing with Cassian. Or walking, or running, or…anything.
It was bad enough living under the same roof as him. Working in the same circle as him. Bad enough having to be civil in the name of a unified front.
But you were professional. You could pretend to get along in front of people.
That didn’t mean you had to socialise with him, though.
With a sigh, he sat up straighter, brushing his hair back. “Rhys is having me play courtier again.”
Your head cocked to the side. “But you’re so terrible at it.”
The minuscule pause and tick of his jaw told you you’d landed a sure blow. A nervy spot, for Cassian, was certainly his abilities off the battlefield. Why Rhys insisted on sending the General on certain courtier expeditions was beyond your comprehension. And beyond Cassian’s, too, judging by how much he hated it.
You took no small amount of pleasure in that fact. A little payback for all the ways he’d torn you down over the years.
“Hilarious.” He rolled his eyes at you.
“I wasn’t joking.”
“Whatever. Rhys is having me represent him at a fucking ball in the Hewn City and I need a plus-one, so — you’re coming.”
Your shoulders tensed. “Absolutely not. Ask somebody else.”
“There’s no way I’m putting Mor through that. And she’s in Vallahan, anyway.”
“So take Amren with you.”
“Be real, Y/N.”
You stared at him, clenching your jaw. You hated him. Hated him so, so much — loathed him — that you swore your veins turned to ice around him. Ever since you’d met him, and you’d taken one look at him and thought he was the most beautiful male you’d ever seen. 
You’d sworn never to fall in love again, when you’d joined Rhysand’s Inner Circle — and seeing Cassian go through flings like you went through books only solidified that decision.
Hate was a good thing. Hate was something you could pour all your anger into and throw at the person that seeped into your thoughts a little too often.
And dish that hate out you may, but gods Cassian gave it back just as fiercely.
“Ask one of your many lovers.” You spat. “You have your cock in a different female every week. I can’t imagine you’re short on admirers.”
Cassian stretched his arms over his head. “And how many admirers do you have, Y/N?”
You tried your best not to flinch. To let him see the effect his words had on you was as bad as him thrusting a dagger into your gut. You willed yourself to give nothing away.
“Just find somebody else.” You said. “There’s not a fucking chance I’m going anywhere with you, of all people.”
You didn’t give him a chance to respond. You turned on your feet and stalked from the room, leaving the note on his lap and your barbed words hanging heavy in the air.
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Three nights later, your bedroom door burst open so abruptly that you dropped your book on your face.
“Pause your masturbation for five minutes.” Cassian’s deep, arrogant voice filled the room. “I have your dress.”
You sat up, your entire body tensing the way it always did in his presence. “What.”
He kicked the door shut behind him, and even in your considerably-sized bedroom, his domineering figure seemed to take up most of the space. He strode to the foot of your bed — and paused, just for a moment, his eyes drinking in the sight of your nightgown, your unbound hair.
You didn’t have a chance to remark before he straightened himself out and launched a flash of pale pink fabric at you.
“For the ball.” He said. “I checked your size and asked the shopkeeper to pick it out, so…if you don’t like it, I don’t really give a fuck.”
Your eyes fell down to the dress in your lap. Undeniably pretty, with its rosy hue and flaring skirt, thin straps and tiny, beaded jewels. A dress you would probably choose for yourself, if the occasion called for it.
You’d always loved clothes; dresses in particular. The intricacies of certain garments fascinated you, and the thought of creating your own made your heart skip a beat.
You thought you’d feel pretty in this dress; prettier than you usually felt, in your leathers or shirts and breeches. It wasn’t all that often that you had an occasion to dress up for.
But even this gown wouldn’t convince you to accept Cassian’s invitation. Or, rather, his order.
You pushed the dress away from you, though your fingers lingered within the soft fabric. “You’re absolutely fucking insane if you think I’m going to that ball with you.”
Cassian’s eyes fell to where your hands stroked the skirts, before climbing back up to meet yours. The bastard knew what you were feeling. He fucking knew.
“Oh, you so want to.” He smirked. “I can see it in your eyes.”
You shrugged nonchalantly. “So it’s a nice dress. I’m sure one of your many sexual escapades would appreciate it.”
The General’s head tilted, a few strands ripping from the loose knot his hair was tied into. “What is it about my sex life that bothers you so much?”
That you’re free to even have such a sex life without judgement. That you will never know what it’s like to be ostracised just for exploring such things. That you can fuck who you like with no repercussions. That it isn’t me you’re—
“Don’t mistake me for someone who gives a shit about anything you do.” You bit. “I just wouldn’t want such a nice dress to be wasted.”
“It won’t be. Because you’ll be wearing it to the ball on Friday.”
“No.” You threw the dress back at him. Picked your book back up. “I will not.”
“I’m going to hang it on the door.”
“Don’t bother.”
He ignored you, of course. The dress was hung. “We’ll be leaving at seven.”
“No we won’t.”
“We will.”
He pulled your bedroom door open, slipping out.
“Cassian?” You called, and there was a strong pause.
He poked his head back in. “What?”
“I’m not going to that damned ball with you.”
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You were going to that damned ball with him.
High Lord’s orders, your ass. You’d kill Rhys for this.
The dress was a perfect fit, clinging to you like a second skin. And as you stared yourself down in the mirror, smoothing your hands over the fabric, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt this pretty.
A long, long time ago. A night of passion. A night that would ultimately ruin your life.
You shook the past from your thoughts, straightening yourself out. It was imperative that you wore an unbreakable mask to the Hewn City. One that was steeled and sharp and revealed nothing of the person that lay beneath.
A thump fell on your bedroom door. “We’re going to be late.” Cassian barked.
You rolled your eyes, turning away from the mirror. The beads of your dress swished as you moved, and you focused on that, rather than the oaf that was currently trying to break into your room.
Just a few hours, and this would all be over.
“Simmer down, General.” You pulled the door open, stepping out. “I’m ready.”
Cassian stepped back. And stopped.
His hazel eyes slowly traced the length of your body. And despite the fact that he’d griped about being late, he took his sweet time drinking you in.
You waited for the snide remarks. For whatever fault he would surely find with your appearance. But when his eyes landed on your face again, you couldn’t puzzle out his expression.
“Good.” Was all he commented. “Let’s go.”
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“Can you quit your fidgeting?”
Cassian scowled beside you, rolling his shoulders. “The collar on this thing is too tight.”
Your eyes travelled the sculpted length of his body — not for the first time — before you forced them away. He looked…undeniably breathtaking.
His comfort, you knew, was in leathers and body armour. Only on rare occasions like Starfall or Solstice did he swap his usual attire for more casual clothing like button-up shirts and trousers. You couldn’t recall a time you’d actually seen him decked in a tailored suit.
Until now.
The material was of deepest burgundy, outlining — accentuating — every last muscle it possibly could. There was something thrilling about the thought of so many deadly weapons hiding within that dashing attire. Something thrilling about knowing the Lord of Bloodshed walked beside you.
Right now, though, he was the fucking Lord of Complaining and Whining. You rolled your eyes, turning to him.
“What are you doing?” He watched as you pushed up onto the tips of your toes.
“Shutting you up.” You adjusted his collar, ignoring the feel of the backs of your fingers brushing his neck. “Better?”
“Suppose so.” He rolled those shoulders again. He wouldn’t be content until the suit was off him completely.
“Then let’s go.” You currently stood outside the towering gates of the Hewn City, the air always unpleasantly cold in these parts. You took a step forward, your dress swishing along the ground—
A warm, rough hand landed on your arm. Stopped you.
“What?” You glanced at Cassian over your shoulder.
“Rhys is expecting us to represent him.” He said, his hazel eyes strangely fierce. He always got that look when there was a task at hand. “I know we hate each other. And that’s more than fine. But just for tonight, can we pretend that we…don’t?”
You stared back at him pensively. A petty part of you wanted to shrug him off and scoff. To tell him that the unpleasantness with which he’d always approached you had long laid any potential alliance to waste.
But he was right — Rhys was counting on you both. And Rhys had done a lot for you since you’d turned up on his doorstep with barely a coin to your name. For him…for him, you would pretend to enjoy Cassian’s company.
“Whatever.” You shrugged the General’s touch off, turning back around. “Fine.”
It wasn’t going to be easy, though.
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You made sure, in your life, that you never had to spend any extended amount of time with Cassian. You tolerated him when you had to, and avoided him the rest of the time.
But you’d been for nights out in the same group, of course. And you’d forgotten how many females tended to flock to his side and fawn over him.
This ball was a sure reminder of that.
You’d barely stepped into the room and grabbed yourselves a drink before groups of females were glancing over and chatting excitedly, shrill giggles floating over to you. It was a mere five minutes before one of them mustered the nerve to ask him to dance, leaving you standing on your own.
It was during that first dance that you decided — you weren’t just going to be civil with Cassian.
You were going to be so sickeningly over the top that he’d have no chance of skulking off with any of those females and leaving you by yourself while he got his cock sucked. Not a chance. If they thought he’d been claimed by another member of Rhys’s Inner Circle, they’d back off; if a little begrudgingly.
So you watched. Waited for that dance to end. Rhys hadn’t given you any specific orders, besides attending on his behalf and keeping an ear out for any gossip. You drank your wine and enjoyed the music, and the second Cassian had an empty space before him, you dipped in before anybody else could.
It seemed to surprise him. He blinked at you, before straightening himself out. “What are you doing?”
“Dancing with you.” You grabbed his hand, fastening it on your waist.
“Rhys never said we had to dance together.”
“You want us to get along, Cassian?” The music began, tugging you into movement. “Then let’s get along.”
With the other couples beginning to dance around you, it left no other option than to follow suit and avoid causing a scene. Cassian’s jaw ticked, but he grabbed for your other hand and began to pull you around the dance floor with him. He was no seasoned dancer, by any means, but he displayed more skill than you’d expected.
Another thing you loved — dancing. Feeling like your feet were floating. Once you started dancing, you wanted to keep going and going into you fell off the world and tumbled into a blissful beyond. Nothing else mattered besides the music, the moves.
“I didn’t know you could dance.” Cassian commented, echoing the thoughts you’d had about him.
You shrugged, not misstepping once. “I was forced to take lessons as a girl.”
“I didn’t know that, either.”
“Why would you know? It’s not as though we like each other.”
He spun you around. Dipped you in his arms. “And why is that?”
Laughable, that he was the one to ask that question. “You tell me. You never tried.”
“Is that how it went?”
“It is.”
He stared at you, expression unreadable. No other words were exchanged as one dance came to its end, and the music flowed into the next piece. But you didn’t need words to carry out your plan.
The second you caught a glimpse of hopeful, waiting females in your periphery, you pulled Cassian closer to you once more, your bodies flush against each other.
You may have felt a teensy bit ridiculous as you slipped your fingers into the strands of his hair and brushed it out of his face.
“I like your hair like this.” The words were heavy on your tongue. Not untrue, but…painful to say out loud.
Cass stared at you. “…thank you.”
But his thanks was lost in your satisfaction as the awaiting female disappeared from the corner of your eye, skulking off to sulk, no doubt. It was an effort not to smirk. Still, you righted yourself and continued with your plan.
You made certain that yours and Cassian’s bodies met in all the right places. Very close. Very dangerous.
Perfect — because there were still hopeful, simpering females watching. Waiting for you to walk away.
“Dance with me again.” Your breathy tone wasn’t entirely for show — nor was the hand you trailed down his arm for emphasis.
But Cassian frowned at you. “What are you up to?”
“Me?” Your eyes glittered. “Nothing at all.”
He kept his gaze on you, following you into your second dance. You could have sworn you saw the slumping of many shoulders as you spun around the floor, Cassian’s hands like a burning brand on your skin.
You weren’t even really paying attention to him, simply following the steps mindlessly, until he spoke again.
“That isn’t how it went.” He said.
Your brow furrowed as you spun around. “What?”
In one swift move, he was pulling you against him, pressing your fronts together. “You said I never tried to know you. I refute that.”
You shrugged. “You treated me with the same contempt as the bastards I ran away from.”
“You treated me like I was dirt beneath your shoe and I didn’t deserve the time of day.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. That simply was not true. He had always been cocky, and arrogant, and difficult. He acted as though mud wouldn’t stick to him, as though he could do what he liked, when he liked.
Suddenly, you didn’t want to be dancing with him anymore. Didn’t want his hands on you, simpering females or no.
He could go to hell.
“I never thought you didn’t deserve the time of day.” You contested tersely. “I—”
“I know.” He interrupted. Spun you around again. “I worked it out eventually.”
“Excuse me?”
“What your problem is.” Another dip.
You didn’t like this conversation — it’s direction. It would be easier to run away, to avoid it.
Easier, but cowardly.
“Pray, tell, General, what do you believe my problem is?” You stared at him.
He leaned down, just as the music faded. Poised his lips at your ear. “Jealousy.” He murmured, the word seeming deafeningly loud. “Sometimes the way you look at me makes me think that perhaps you don’t hate me that much.”
You knew your body stiffened between you. And as he pulled back and smirked, you also knew that he knew he’d won.
Whatever it was that glittered in his eyes was…knowledge. Knowing. An understanding. And that couldn’t mean anything good for you.
“Cassian?”
The two of you looked up upon the intrusion, only realising then that the music had stopped, and the dancing with it. A doe-eyed girl stared at the General with bright, sparkling hope in her eyes.
“I was hoping I might have the next dance.” She said.
You didn’t care anymore. You barely spared either of them a glance as you let go of Cassian and pushed out of his arms.
“He’s all yours.” You said.
And then you went to find some fresh air.
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“I’ll be sure to tell Rhys that you spent the evening skulking around on your own whilst I did all the posturing.”
You glanced at Cassian out of the corner of your eye. You weren’t interested in a verbal sparring match right now. The night air was pleasant on your skin, and you allowed it to cool your face, your neck. Allowed it to wash away the tension permanently coiled within your veins, if only for a few stolen moments.
“Go ahead”, was the only reply you offered.
Eyes pierced into you as you bathed yourself in the moonlight. Even with your own shut, you could sense Cassian watching, waiting. But you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of anything beyond vague acknowledgement. Not now.
That seemed to fucking torture him.
“What—no smartass response?” He quipped.
“No, Cassian,” you sighed quietly. “No smartass response.”
He paused — seemed genuinely knocked silent for a moment — before he scoffed. “I don’t believe that for a second. Even in silence, I know you’re up to something. That scheming brain of yours—”
“This scheming brain of mine is exhausted.”
As your eyes flew open, you caught the way he faltered, a slight misstep, the barest ruffling of his wings. For all he was the General of War, the Lord of Bloodshed, you’d also observed him to be a profoundly emotional person. And that emotion sometimes won as he fought to hide it.
This emotion…it was ire. Gone was the sharp-edged teasing. He found issue with your words, and his jaw gave a telltale tick.
“What could you possibly be exhausted by?” he scoffed. “You need only turn up looking like a fucking goddess and people respect you. You’re not some lowly, bastard-born brute. You don’t get sneered at simply for breathing—”
“You believe people respect me?”
“Of course they do!”
“You don’t.”
He stumbled — actually stumbled — and it was only that which alerted you to the way he’d been inching towards you. But his steps faltered, and he gaped at you like your revelation was entirely out of pocket. Like you had no reason to feel that.
“You have never respected me.” You held firm on your point, even if your voice was a tad quieter. “I fled a fucking viper’s den and ran to Rhysand’s court, hoping to find a sense of…of belonging. But you…” A soft, rueful chuckle shuddered out of you. “You have made it your mission to ensure that would not be the case.”
Slowly, Cassian’s brow pinched. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, seeming to search for the right words. “That…isn’t how it went…”
“It is,” you shrugged. “You said I treated you like dirt — perhaps, unintentionally, I did. Perhaps it was a defence mechanism, because I never expected to flee absolute hell and come face-to-face with a male that I immediately wanted.”
There they were — the words out in the open. The truth wedged itself between you like a glaring, unmissable sign. You had never hated Cassian. Quite the opposite.
“I thought that I would never want another male in that way again.” You revealed hoarsely. “I thought I would live a life content with just…being me. With friends and nothing more. But that first day I met you, I walked in and I…I knew. I felt it.”
Cassian blinked, slowly shaking his head. “What…”
“And then you were so hostile, and I thought that maybe that was a good thing. That it would discourage me from feeling things. But I must be a fucking glutton for punishment, because no matter how cold you were towards me, my feelings only grew. And I tried…I tried so hard to shift them into hate, but I couldn’t. I’ve never been able to. I simply…can’t.”
The way he stared at you…so hardened, so severe…you couldn’t get a read on the reaction. But then…had you ever really been able to get a read on him?
“You were right…what you said about me being jealous,” you swallowed. “I was. I am—”
“That was…just a joke…I was just being a dick—”
“No,” you shook your head. “You were right. I was jealous in there, and I’m always jealous when people flirt with you. When I see you smile at them and joke with them and I shouldn’t wish it was me but I do. These feelings are constant. And that, Cassian…that is why I am exhausted. It’s exhausting for me to know you.”
Silence.
It should have been a relief, to have finally shifted such heavy feelings from your shoulders. But they were like tangible beings, fogging the air around you, wrapping you and Cassian up in a situation that was complicated and ugly and not at all ideal.
You knew he would do nothing with your feelings…except maybe sneer at them, laugh at them, throw them back in your face. You expected nothing from him. And the longer the silence went on, the more you began to wish that you could steal your confessions back. Shove them deep back into that narrow part of your heart that was still capable, somehow, of feeling such things.
You cleared your throat, tweaking the pretty, delicate gloves that covered your hands and forearms. “We should…head back inside.”
You breezed past him, suddenly desperate for the mindless chaos of the throne room. But you’d only managed a few steps forward before Cassian was gripping onto your arm and yanking you back.
Your dress fanned out as he spun you around, and a breath pushed out of you as he slammed you against the nearest wall, the cold brick biting into the fabric of your dress.
Before you could say anything, he was dipping down, his mouth sliding over yours.
Cassian kissed you deeply, punishingly, his lips moulding to yours perfectly. You gasped against him, and his tongue slid into your mouth to dance with yours, his rough, rugged taste invading you.
You’d thought about this moment a ludicrous amount. You’d imagined what the weight of his lips might be like, how perfectly his tongue might duel with yours. Nothing — no amount of imagining — could prepare you for the reality. The sense of rightness as his hand coasted up to clasp the back of your head, his fingers sinking into your hair. He gave a gentle tug, and you moaned in immediate response.
Air, it seemed, was not important. Not as you kissed him back feverishly, gripping at his shirt in an attempt to pull him as close against you as he could possibly get. The press of his hard body against yours was pleasure in itself. You nipped his lip, desperate for more, more, more, and he groaned in response.
This — this could very well spiral out of control, and you would welcome it. You wanted him to tear your clothes off and take you against this wall. You wanted him to make you feel like he wanted you, like it wasn’t exhausting to know him—
But there was suddenly emptiness and coldness. And it took your mind a moment to catch up and realise that he had pulled away.
Not far. Just enough to stare down at you, his deep hazel eyes flaring and furious. His panting breaths sawed out of him, landing directly on your lips and making you desperate for another taste. You tilted your head up—
He shook his head. Stepped back.
“No,” he murmured, voice gruff. “No. You…you are very bad for me.”
Your entire body turned cold at the words. Words that sliced at you, reminiscent of ones you’d heard before. “What?”
“You’re bad for me,” he repeated. “And I am very bad for you.”
“Cassian—”
“Don’t—don’t even say my name.”
With a swiftness that sent a gust of wind rustling the skirts of your dress, he turned, wings flaring and launching him into the star-speckled sky above you. You gaped at his retreating figure, flying off into the night, leaving you alone not only in that courtyard, but in the fucking Court of Nightmares.
Your mouth had turned dry, your skin cold. You lingered out there long after Cassian had flown off, waiting to see if he would come back. Pathetically hoping he would.
He did not.
And as you conceded, slipping your courtier mask back into place and turning to retreat back inside, his words rang like a deafening klaxon in your head.
You are very bad for me.
698 notes · View notes
quinzzelx · 4 months
Text
No need to decide
Azriel/Cassian/Rhysand x Fem! Reader
Summary: This is porn without plot. You drink with your friends and it turns into something heated.
Word Count: 6700
Warnings: Smut, 18+! Fouresome, DP, Oral fem and male receiving, Deep Throating, Slight Shadow Play, Overstimulation
A/N: Well- this was fun to write. I have a lot of other stuff coming up the next days. Several WIP's and Requests :) Hope you enjoy this filthy piece of my imagination. I haven't proofread it yet and this might be a little straight forward lol...
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Azriel, Cassian, and Rhysand fixate their eyes on you with an intense fire, their stances exuding a raw, untamed power. "We've been looking for you! We were worried sick when you didn’t return," Azriel strides towards you and gently grips your face. "Don’t ever disappear like that again. I thought I lost you."
"I'm sorry, Az..." you sigh, meeting their concerned gazes. All of you are still bloodied from battle, dried blood clinging to your skin. "How about we let the evening be like the good old days? Just drinking and relaxing?" You pat Azriel on the shoulder and give Cassian and Rhys a soft smile. They all nod in agreement, the tension in their shoulders easing, although concern still lingers in their eyes.
"That sounds like a great idea. Let's go to the council room, we have some good wine stored there. I'll just quickly head up to my room and clean up. You all should too, you reek," you chuckle as you walk past them, heading up the stairs to your room. After a quick bath and changing into a silk pajama set, you return downstairs to find the three already sitting in the sitting area.
"I can see you already started without me," you tease, and their gazes immediately shoot up to you. Cassian whistles lowly, admiring your appearance. "Damn, you look good enough to eat."
"We didn't start without you, just got here a bit early," Rhysand explains with a grin, leaning back into the chaise. "Only you, Y/N. Only you," he chuckles.
You join them, grabbing a bottle of wine and taking a swig straight from it, earning surprised yet amused looks from your friends. "Like good old times, right?" you beam, and Cassian agrees, grabbing a bottle for himself. "See! I know why I like Cassy best!" you tease, earning a chuckle from Azriel.
As you all engage in casual chatter and laughter, you start to feel the buzz of the alcohol. "I'm bored," you announce, leaning back and watching them lounging around the sitting room. "Can we play something?"
Azriel raises an eyebrow at you, a smirk playing on his lips. Cassian grins and sits up, finishing his bottle before responding, "Bored, Y/N? Let's play something like... Truth or Drink, perhaps?"
"Remember when we played Truth or Drink back in Rhys' cabin in Windhaven?" you reminisce with a smile, earning a snort from Rhysand. "Yes, we got bat shit drunk, and my mother was so angry at us for weeks because Cassian broke not only one but two doors," he chuckles, recalling the memory fondly.
Azriel's laughter joins the mix, his deep voice resonating in the room as he watches the playful exchange between you and Cassian. "Those were the days," he comments, his gaze nostalgic. He finishes his drink and sets the bottle aside, leaning forward with interest. "We could definitely play that again. Who wants to start?"
Sitting up straighter, full of energy, you announce, "I think I'd like that! Who wants to start?" Cassian, ever the instigator, leans forward, his eyes twinkling with mischief. Placing his empty bottle on the table, he pokes you in the side, then leans back, chuckling. "I'll start. Truth or dare, Y/N?"
Though momentarily confused, you quickly join in the fun. "I thought we were playing Truth or Drink? But I'm fine with this too!" Your grin broadens, accepting the challenge. "Dare!" The three friends share a look, each a bit surprised at your bold choice. Cassian pauses, evidently not expecting you to choose Dare. "Remember, if we don't want to do something, we have to drink!" you remind them, shooting Cassian a daring look. "Come on, Lord of Bloodshed, give me your worst." Cassian's surprise gives way to a hearty laugh. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and looks at you with a mischievous glint in his eye. "Alright, here's your dare: go outside and fly around the block. But here's the catch—you have to do it in your underwear."
Your eyes widen in mock horror. "I'm way too drunk to fly!" you exclaim, laughing and playfully swatting at his arm. "Give me something I can actually do!"
Cassian's laughter fills the room, his earlier mischief replaced with amusement at your reaction. "Alright, alright, let's keep it grounded. How about this then: you have to serenade us with the most embarrassing song you know, right here, right now."
Grinning broadly, you nod, accepting the modified challenge. "You asked for it," you warn, rising to your feet with a playful sway. As you clear your throat dramatically, Rhysand, Azriel, and Cassian lean back, each one wearing an expression of delighted anticipation. You launch into an off-key, dramatically overacted rendition of a notoriously silly love ballad, complete with exaggerated gestures and melodramatic expressions.
Laughter and cheers fill the room, the earlier tension dissolving into an evening of joyful camaraderie. Azriel watches you with a soft smile, his eyes reflecting pride and affection, thoroughly enjoying the light-hearted side of you.
Now it was your turn to direct the game. You turned towards Rhys, who was already eyeing you with an amused, anticipatory smile. "Rhys, truth or dare?"
Rhys leaned back, his expression turning mischievously sly. "Dare."
You paused, a spark of mischief lighting up your own eyes. "Use your powers to show me one of your dirtiest dreams," you challenged, eager to see if he'd take on the dare or opt for a drink instead.
Rhys's eyes narrowed slightly, a grin unfurling across his face. He extended his hand to grasp yours, a ripple of power coursing through the contact. Suddenly, your vision blurred as he shared a vivid memory—his dream flooding your senses.
You gasped, your cheeks flushing as the explicit scene unfolded in your mind's eye. It was shockingly graphic, and you couldn't help but blush even deeper when Rhys's voice echoed in your thoughts.
Feeling his amusement, Rhys released your hand and leaned back, watching your flustered reaction with a chuckle. "Well, did I pass your dare or not?"
Your eyes were wide, your mouth agape. "I... I didn't expect that. I mean, it was definitely graphic," you managed to stammer out, still reeling from the intensity of the dream. You tried to lighten the mood with a tease. "If you're packing that much in reality and not just in your dreams, your mate is indeed fortunate."
Laughter erupted around the room, the tension breaking as Cassian and Azriel joined in the mirth. Rhys just smirked, pleased with your reaction.
"You're up, Rhys. Why don't you ask our dear Shadowsinger here?" you said, nudging the game along.  Rhys turned to Azriel with a playful glint in his eye. "So, Az, truth or dare?"
Azriel's expression was unreadable for a moment before a smirk played at the corners of his mouth. "Dare," he responded confidently. Rhys's smile broadened. "I dare you to kiss the most attractive person in the room."
Azriel's eyebrows raised in mock surprise, then he turned to look directly at you. His smirk deepened. "Challenge accepted." He stood gracefully, crossed the room in a few strides, and sat down next to you. Leaning in close, he pressed a brief, soft kiss on your lips before pulling away with a light chuckle. You blushed furiously, caught off guard by the sudden contact. "Your lips are very soft, Az," you murmured quietly, meant only for him to hear.  Azriel's grin widened as he leaned in, his voice a whisper against your ear. "I could say the same for yours."
The room filled with chuckles and light-hearted banter. Cassian whistled, and Rhys laughed, clearly enjoying the turn of events.  Now, it was Azriel's turn to steer the game. He looked at you with a playful challenge in his eyes. "Y/N, truth or dare?"
Considering the electric atmosphere and his intoxicating closeness, you replied with a hesitant, "Dare?" Azriel's eyes sparkled with mischief. "I dare you to wrap your arms around me and pull me in for a kiss," he said, his voice low and enticing.
"What, again?" you asked, teasing him lightly. "Don't tell me you kissed me once and already can't get enough."
His chuckle was warm, filling the space between you. "Maybe I just enjoyed it?" Azriel's hands reached out, pulling you closer as he tilted his head, capturing your lips in a slow, lingering kiss.
The kiss deepened, and you found yourself melting into him, the lines of friendship blurring into something more tender and profound. Cassian's playful voice broke through, adding a flirtatious edge to the night. "Truth or dare, Y/N?" he whispered, sitting close behind you now. You didn’t even hear him cross the room. As his hot breath Fans across the back of your neck, the rules of the game completely forgotton.
Caught between Azriel's lips and Cassian's whispered challenge, you managed a breathless, "Dare?"
Cassian's warm breath tickled your ear, his hands gently tracing circles on your waist. With a sly grin and a gaze full of mischief, he leaned closer, his lips brushing the shell of your ear, sending shivers down your spine. "I dare you to stand and strip off your shirt. Let's see what you're hiding under there."
Blushing deeply at his boldness and the intensity of the situation, you hesitated. "I...I'm not wearing anything underneath... this is just my sleepwear," you murmured, a mix of embarrassment and challenge in your voice. As you fumbled with the silk shirt, your wings awkwardly in the way and your movements clumsy from the alcohol, Azriel stepped in. Silently, he helped lift the fabric over your head with gentle ease.
As your shirt fell away, exposing your bare skin to the cool air, Cassian's gaze intensified, drinking in every detail of your newly revealed form. Rhys, no longer content to observe from a distance, rose from his seat and approached with a purposeful stride.
"Allow me," Rhys murmured, his voice a low caress as he reached out to steady you. His fingers brushed your chin, lifting your face as he leaned in to capture your lips in a tender yet insistent kiss. Meanwhile, Cassian wasted no time in exploring the skin now bared before him. His fingers grazed your stomach, slowly making their way up to tease your nipples, eliciting a soft moan from your lips.
Caught in the sudden escalation, you gasped, your body responding despite your confusion. "What's happening?" you breathed out, your mind reeling as the game of truth or dare seemed to blur into something more intimate. "Weren't we playing a game?"
"Yes, but it seems we've all become quite..." Rhys paused, breaking the kiss, his voice thick with desire as he stepped back, allowing Azriel his turn. "distracted..." A devilish glint sparked in Rhys's eyes as he turned to Azriel, challenging him. "Truth or dare?" he asked, his tone laden with implications.
Azriel, his gaze fixed intensely on your exposed body, took a deep breath, his desire palpable. Without hesitation, he reached out, his hand cupping your breast, thumb teasing your nipple with deliberate strokes. "Dare," he breathed out, his voice rough.
Rhys smiled wickedly, stepping back to give Azriel space, his eyes alight with anticipation. The scent of arousal hung heavy in the air surrounding you. Rhys' eyes darkened as he observed the unfolding scene with predatory interest. "Azriel," he challenged with a smirk, "I dare you to make her climax."
At the daring proposition, your eyes—wide with desire—met Azriel's. His gaze, alight with raw lust, held yours as he leaned close, his breath searing against your ear. His fingers resumed their tantalizing dance across your nipples, pinching gently, eliciting a sharp gasp from your lips. "Ah, Azriel," you moaned, your gaze hooded, body arching towards his touch.
Cassian's chuckle vibrated against your neck as he pressed himself closer, his lips grazing your skin. "You're breathtaking," he whispered, his hands exploring downward to grip your hips, his hardness pressing insistently against you.
"What's happening?" you gasped, caught between them, your mind a whirl of sensation and confusion.
"You're not dreaming," Rhys assured with a soft laugh, his hands gliding down between your breasts. His lips captured yours in a deep, exploring kiss, his tongue mirroring the actions of his hands.
Lost in the kiss, you barely registered Azriel's hand slipping down the front of your pants. But his withdrawal, fingers glistening with your arousal, snapped you back to the present. "You're so wet for us, love." He pressed his wet fingers to your lips, and you sucked them clean, your eyes locked on his, wide and filled with lust.
The three shared a look of pure desire. Cassian's grip tightened on your hips as he pulled you flush against him, grinding his hard cock against your ass. "I want you so badly," he growled, capturing your lips in a fierce kiss.
As the kiss deepened, Azriel's hands ventured lower, sliding your silk shorts down, leaving you bare before the trio of fully clothed Illyrians. His fingers resumed their work, now directly on your heated flesh, teasing your clit before plunging deep inside you. The sensation overwhelmed you, and your knees buckled. Cassian supported you, his strong arms wrapping around you as Azriel drove his fingers deeper, faster.
Rhys stepped closer, his hands caressing your breasts. "You're magnificent like this," he murmured. Overwhelmed by their touches, you managed to gasp out, "Need you," as waves of pleasure built within you, your gaze meeting Rhys violet eyes as you come on Azriels fingers with a scream. "Fuck, Azriel!" The Shadowsinger keeps his fingers working inside of you, bringing you close to another orgasm immediately. Shit, they were your undoing.
Cassian scooped you up effortlessly, carrying you to the chaise lounge. He laid you down, his body hovering over yours as he began a tantalizing trail of kisses down your body. "So you want to fuck all of us, hm?" he mused, his breath hot against your exposed skin.
"Yes," you breathed out, desperation lacing your voice. "I want all of you." As Cassian's mouth found your core, his tongue expertly coaxing pleasure from every stroke.
Azriel's hot breath tickled your ear as Rhysand tended to your nipples, groping and kneading your breasts. "You're dripping wet, love," Azriel murmured, his words sending shivers down your spine. With each passing moment, the anticipation grew, the air thick with raw desire.
Belts click and shuffle, as they freed their massive cocks, your eyes widened with a mixture of anticipation and arousal. "Fuck, you're huge," you gasped, your hands instinctively reaching out to wrap around Azriel's cock while your other hand flew around Rhys's.
Azriel groaned at your touch, his hips bucking into your hand as Rhys's attentions intensified on your nipple. "You're going to let us fuck your pretty cunt, aren't you?" Azriel's question hung in the air, met with your eager nod and a firm grip on their cocks. "Yes," you panted, your need echoing in the room. Cassian's growl reverberated against your core as he continued to feast on you. "Good girl," he praised, the vibrations sending you spiraling closer to the edge. "We're going to Fuck you and fill you up until you're screaming our names."
Your body arched, senses overwhelmed as another orgasm approached. "Fucking hell, Cass," you moaned, your hands working Azriel and Rhys with fervor.  Azriel's groan mingled with your moans as he guided your mouth towards him. "I want to fuck your mouth," he confessed, his cock eagerly welcomed by your hungry lips. With hunger akin to a starving woman, you eagerly took him in, moaning at the taste of him. Azriel's praise spurred you on as you hollowed your cheeks, bobbing your head with abandon, focusing on driving him to the brink of ecstasy.
As Cassian continued his assault on your core, Rhys's attentions on your breasts intensified. "Fuck, I can't wait to be inside you," Cassian growled, his tongue working magic on your clit. Your moans reverberated around Azriel's cock, driving him closer to the edge.
With each thrust into your mouth, Azriel's groans grew louder, his hips moving faster. "You're going to make me cum if you keep doing that," he warned, the sensation of your mouth driving him wild.
Gasping for breath, you released Azriel's cock as Cassian withdrew from your core. “You take me so well.” Azriel's praise sent a shiver down your spine, his whispered words igniting a fire within you. The primal desire in their eyes mirrored your own, and in that moment, there was no turning back. Many years of friendship, growing up together, winning battles and wars. And here you were, drunk on wine and lust as your three best friends ravished your body.
Cassian's impatience is palpable as he declares his inability to wait any longer. With a firm grip on your thighs, he hoists you up, swiftly discarding his pants to reveal his thick length. Settling back onto the couch, he leans against the backrest, anticipation evident in his eyes.
Your breath catches as he pulls you down onto him, your back molding against his chest as his cock glides through your soaked folds. A sharp yelp escapes your lips at the suddenness of the sensation, Cassian's grip on your hips only adding to the intensity. He throws his head back in ecstasy, a low groan rumbling from his throat as he lazily rubs your clit, causing you to squirm beneath him. Your wings flex against Cassian's chest, adding to the intoxicating intimacy of the moment. Rhys's appreciative gaze sweeps over you, his eyes dilated with desire as he takes in every detail. He leans forward with a feline smirk, capturing your lips in a bruising kiss.
"What do you want, Darling?" Rhys's voice is low and daring, his violet eyes gleaming with mischief as they meet yours. He grunts at the sight of your flushed cheeks and swollen lips, evidence of how you had them wrapped around Azriel’s Cock just moments before. His admiration is evident as he takes in the streaks of tears and drool on your face.
"Gods, you look good like this," he murmurs before claiming your lips again, his tongue exploring your mouth with fervor, licking into it, teeth clashing against each other in the heated kiss. As Cassian grinds against you, his cock teasing your slick cunt with every movement, you're unable to hold back your moans, each drag through your folds eliciting a desperate response that escapes into Rhys's mouth.
Suddenly, you feel something cold slither up your legs, sending shivers down your spine as it trails along your back like gentle caresses. Shadowy tendrils dance around your form, exploring every inch of your body with an eerie yet tantalizing touch.
Amidst the heated atmosphere, Azriel's voice cuts through with a dark allure. "My shadows are eager to explore your body too," he murmurs, his breath hot against your ear as he leans in closer. "They long to feel every curve, every inch of your skin, and indulge in the pleasure of the sounds you make." His words send a thrill of anticipation coursing through you. As Cassian's warm breath caresses your neck from behind, his lips grazing the shell of your ear, you feel a shiver run down your spine. "Tell me, Y/N," he murmurs, his voice dripping with desire, "have you ever been fucked in that pretty little ass of yours?"
A furious blush spreads across your cheeks at his bold question, rendering you momentarily speechless. Unable to form coherent sentences, you simply nod in response, feeling the weight of their intense gazes fixed upon you, each one watching your every move.
"We need words, angel," Azriel adds, his touch sending electric pulses through your body as he drags a scarred thumb over your bottom lip. Almost instinctively, your tongue slips out, drawing his thumb into your mouth and sucking on it eagerly, eliciting a low groan from Azriel's lips.
"Yes, I've been fucked in my ass before," you admit, your voice hoarse from the earlier throat-fucking. "Good," Cassian hums in response, his cock dragging through your wetness, coating himself in your slick as he positions himself at your asshole. With gentle pressure, he begins to push into you, urging you to relax. Your eyes roll back, your head falling back onto Cassian's shoulder as you feel the stretch.
"Oh, fuck," you groan, the mixture of pleasure and pain coursing through you as Cassian gradually sinks deeper inside you, until he's fully sheathed. "Do you like having my cock up your ass?" Cassian grunts, starting to thrust into you, his movements deliberate and controlled.
"Yes!" you mewl, your pussy twitching and clenching around nothing, craving the sensation of being filled. "Need one of you in my cunt," you whimper, your pussy dripping with anticipation, yearning for attention. Azriel and Rhys exchange a glance, wordlessly communicating their next move. Azriel then positions himself in front of you, propping one leg onto the edge of the chaise lounge, his knees bent and angled as he aligns himself with your cunt.
Azriel thrusts into your drenched hole, his groans mingling with your gasps as you feel yourself being filled so thoroughly. Sandwiched between the two Illyrians, you're overwhelmed by the sensations coursing through your body. "Fuck, you feel so good," Azriel moans, his movements becoming more urgent as he seeks out every inch of your warmth.
Cassian grunts into your ear, his voice husky with desire as he whispers sweet praises, his words sending shivers down your spine. "You're so tight, angel," he murmurs, his breath hot against your skin. "Fuck, you take me so well."
His words fuel your arousal, igniting a fire within you as he continues to thrust into you with increasing fervor. "You're amazing," he groans, his grip on your hips tightening. "So fucking beautiful, taking both of us like a champ."
Rhys stands beside the chaise, his gaze fixated on the erotic tableau before him. With a hunger in his eyes, he positions himself next to you, his throbbing cock eagerly seeking entrance. "Open up for me, darling," he urges, his voice thick with desire as he guides his member between your parted lips. Your mouth, still slick from Azriel's earlier attentions, welcomes him eagerly, enveloping him in warmth. Rhys moans softly, his fingers tangling in your hair as he begins to thrust gently, setting a rhythm that matches the movements of Cassian and Azriel behind you.
His praise mingles with your moans. As Rhys plunges deeper into your mouth, his praises become a melodic chant, whispered between gasps of pleasure. "You're so beautiful like this," he murmurs, his voice a seductive melody against the backdrop of your moans. "Taking us all so eagerly, so willingly."  His words send shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you as you eagerly suck him deeper, your tongue swirling around his length in a dance of desire.
"Such a good girl," Rhys continues, his breath hitching with each thrust. "You were made for this, made to be worshipped by us, to be pleasured in every way imaginable." His words fuel you, driving you to take him deeper, to please him as he plunges into your mouth. As Azriel and Cassian pick up their pace, the intensity of their thrusts sends waves of pleasure coursing through your body. Each powerful thrust fills you up completely, hitting the deepest spots inside you, driving you closer to the edge of bliss.
Your body is flushed with arousal, a rosy hue spreading across your skin as your heart races with anticipation. With every thrust, your breasts bounce in rhythm. Beads of sweat form on your skin, glistening under the dim light of the room as the heat of passion consumes you. You mewl and grunt, lost in a haze of ecstasy as every coherent thought is driven from your mind. You're fucked so well, so thoroughly, that all you can do is surrender to the overwhelming pleasure that consumes you. As Rhys thrusts into your mouth, you eagerly meet his movements, sucking and licking with abandon. His cock fills your mouth, stretching you as you take him deeper, eager to please him as much as the others.
"You're such a good little whore for us, aren't you?" Cassian growls into your ear, his breath hot against your skin as he pounds into you with primal urgency. Azriel's voice is low and husky as he murmurs, "That's it, take all of us. You were made for this, made to be filled up by us." Rhys's words are a seductive whisper against your skin as he thrusts into your mouth, "You're our perfect little plaything, made to satisfy our every desire."
Their words send shivers of pleasure down your spine, fueling the fire of ecstasy that burns within you. You moan around Rhys's cock, your body writhing with pleasure as you surrender to the overwhelming sensation of being taken by them all at once. As they continue to sweet-talk you, their words of adoration and desire fueling the intensity of your pleasure, they also begin to engage in conversation amongst themselves.
Cassian's voice is filled with lust and admiration as he murmurs, "Gods, she's so tight around me. Feels like heaven." Azriel grunts in agreement, his movements becoming more urgent as he drives deeper into you. "She's insatiable. I can feel her clenching around me." Rhys's voice is a low growl as he adds, "She loves it, doesn't she? Loves being taken by all of us at once." The three of them share a knowing glance, a silent communication passing between them as they continue their assault on your body.
As you come around Azriel's cock, your body convulses with pleasure, and you release Rhys's cock with a wet pop, moaning loudly in ecstasy. "Fuck! Gods, yes. More," you whimper, your voice dripping with desire as tears gather at the brim of your eyes once again.
Sensing your need for a change of scenery, Cassian and Azriel pull out of you, their movements synchronized as they lift you up, their strong arms cradling you bridal-style. "Let's go somewhere more comfortable," Cassian suggests, carrying you with ease as you pant heavily, your body still trembling from the intensity of your orgasms.
Rhys leads the way into his bedroom, the air heavy with anticipation as Cassian gently sets you down on the bed. "On all fours now," he instructs, his voice commanding yet tender as he helps you assume the desired position. "Now tell me, pretty girl," he murmurs, his breath hot against your ear, sending shivers down your spine. "Whose cock do you want?" You pause for a moment, your mind fogged with desire and need, before you answer with absolute certainty, "All of yours."
Their chuckles ripple through the room, a symphony of desire and amusement. "Yes, but where?" Cassian repeats, his voice laced with anticipation. You bite your lip, considering the question amidst the haze of arousal. "Everywhere," you finally breathe out. Cassian and Azriel exchange a knowing glance, their desire evident in the hunger of their gazes as they settle onto the bed in front of you. "I want all of you to cum inside of me," you declare, your voice dripping with need as you gaze at them with pleading eyes.
A primal hunger ignites within them at your words, their cocks throbbing with anticipation as they watch you with ravenous desire. Without a word, Cassian moves closer, his hands trailing down your spine as he leans in to press his lips against the nape of your neck. "You heard her, boys," he murmurs, his voice husky with desire. "Let's give her what she wants."
Rhys's gaze darkens with desire as he watches the scene unfold before him. With a predatory gleam in his eyes, he moves closer, his fingers trailing over your slick folds before he positions himself at your entrance, his cock twitching with anticipation. "Please," you whimper, your voice pleading as you arch your back, presenting yourself to them completely. "I need you." As Rhys positions himself behind you, his cock pressing eagerly against your dripping folds, you let out a whimper of anticipation, your body trembling with desire. His hands grip your ass with a bruising force, pulling you closer to him as he aligns himself with your slick entrance.
With a low growl, Rhys thrusts into you, his cock filling you to the hilt as you moan in ecstasy. The sensation of being stretched and filled by him sends waves of pleasure coursing through your body, your back arching and your hips instinctively grinding back against him. Meanwhile, Azriel and Cassian settle on the bed in front of you, their cocks standing proud and ready for your attention. With a hunger that matches your own, you eagerly take them into your mouth, sucking and licking with fervor as you alternate between the two. Azriel groans appreciatively as you take him deep into your mouth, your tongue swirling around him as you eagerly work to drive him to the brink of ecstasy. Cassian's grip tightens on the sheets as you lavish attention on him, your mouth and tongue working wonders. When your mouth cannot please one of them, you work them with your hands.
Back with Rhys, his thrusts become more urgent, his hips slamming into yours with a relentless rhythm that leaves you breathless. Each thrust sends shockwaves of pleasure through your body, building the heat within you to an unbearable intensity. You're surrounded by the heady scent of sex and sweat, the sounds of your moans and the slick sounds of flesh against flesh filling the air as you're taken by all three of them at once. As Rhys's thrusts become even harsher and more powerful, you feel yourself being pushed to the brink of ecstasy. Each withdrawal is agonizingly slow, teasing you with the promise of his impending return, before he slams back into you with a force that sends shivers down your spine.
His moans fill the room, mingling with the sounds of your own pleasure as he drives you towards the edge. With each thrust, he curses under his breath, his voice thick with desire and need.
"Gods, your pretty little cunt is milking my cock so well," he growls, his brows pinched in pleasure as he snaps his hips into yours with even more force. "I'm gonna fill you up now, okay, darling?" he murmurs, his voice laced with a mixture of desire and possessiveness.
You can only manage a breathless whimper of agreement as Rhys's powerful thrusts leave you gasping for air. His cock pistons into you with a relentless intensity, each movement driving you closer to the brink of ecstasy.
With a guttural groan, Rhys pulls out almost completely before slamming back into you, his movements becoming even more forceful and erratic. Your body responds instinctively, arching into his thrusts as you surrender to the overwhelming pleasure coursing through you. With one final, powerful thrust, Rhys buries himself deep inside you, his cock pulsing as he spills his seed into your waiting depths. The sensation of being filled by him pushes you over the edge, and you cry out in ecstasy as waves of pleasure wash over you, your body convulsing with the force of your orgasm.
As the intensity of your climax fades, you collapse against the bed, panting heavily as you bask in the afterglow of your shared pleasure. Rhys remains buried deep inside you, his breathing ragged as he presses gentle kisses to the nape of your neck, his arms wrapping around you protectively.
"Would you mind if I go first?" Cassian's voice is husky with desire as he glances at Azriel, who returns his gaze with a heated intensity. "Go ahead," Azriel grunts in response, his own desire palpable in the air.
With a silent understanding passing between them, Cassian switches places with Rhys, who withdraws from you only to be replaced by Cassian's throbbing length. Unlike Rhys's powerful thrusts, Cassian's movements are more deliberate, more controlled. He grinds into you, his cock buried deep within your slick folds, maintaining a constant pressure that sends waves of pleasure coursing through you. You can feel the tension in Cassian's body, the urgency in his breath as he nears his own climax. But despite his impending release, he keeps his movements steady, his focus solely on pleasuring you.
And oh, how you revel in it. You love being their plaything, their vessel for pleasure. Your gaze meets Azriel's, and in his hazel eyes, you see a reflection of your own desire, a mirror image of the passion burning within you. As Azriel strokes your hair with a tenderness that belies the raw desire between you, you feel a surge of emotion welling up inside you. With each grinding motion, Cassian's cock delves deeper into your quivering core, eliciting a symphony of moans and gasps from your lips. His breath becomes ragged, matching the rhythm of his thrusts, as he nears the edge of release. "Oh, fuck," Cassian groans, his voice thick with desire. "You feel so good, baby. So fucking tight." As his pace quickens, the tension in Cassian's body becomes almost unbearable. And then, with a guttural cry of ecstasy, Cassian finally succumbs to the overwhelming pleasure coursing through him. Hot strings of seed spill from his throbbing cock, filling you to the brim as he empties himself inside you. "Fuck, yes," Cassian pants, his voice raw with passion. "Take it all, darling. Take every last drop."
As your body succumbs to exhaustion, collapsing onto the mattress, you feel utterly spent, your legs trembling with the remnants of pleasure. Rhys and Cassian share a knowing smirk and a low, rumbling laugh, their eyes alight with satisfaction.
"How about you run her a bath and get some food while I take care of her," Azriel suggests, his voice a soothing balm amidst the haze of pleasure that envelops you. With gentle hands, he helps you turn onto your back again, his touch as soft as a whisper against your skin.
You sink into the mattress, utterly relaxed under Azriel's tender ministrations, your body humming with satisfaction. The warmth of his touch soothes the ache in your muscles, easing away the tension that had coiled within you.
"Thank you," you murmur softly, your voice barely above a whisper. Despite the exhaustion that weighs heavily on your limbs, a sense of contentment washes over you, wrapping you in its comforting embrace. Azriel smiles down at you, his gaze filled with warmth and affection. "Anything for you" he whispers, his words a promise of devotion that sends a flutter of butterflies dancing in your stomach. As Azriel leans over you, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips, his voice rasps with desire. "I still need to fuck your pretty little cunt one more time, angel," he murmurs, his tone husky with anticipation. With heavy-lidded eyes, you nod, your gaze glazed with the remnants of pleasure.
He moves in front of you, his eyes tracing the halo of your hair spread out like a soft cloud on the mattress, your wings unfurled, a testament to your ethereal beauty. "So fucking beautiful," he whispers, his voice laced with reverence as he gently folds your legs up to your chest, hovering over you with a predatory grace.
"I won't be gentle," he warns, his voice dripping with promise as he plunges into your sensitive pussy. A scream tears from your throat as Azriel's cock, long and thick, fills you completely. There's a certain correlation between the expanse of his wingspan and the size of other parts of his anatomy, and you feel every inch of him stretching you to your limits.
His pace is relentless, unforgiving, each thrust hitting that perfect spot inside of you that sends sparks of pleasure shooting through your veins. He moves fast, brutal in his assault on your senses, leaving you no choice but to surrender to the overwhelming pleasure that consumes you. You moan loudly, wildly, unable to control the spasms wracking your body as Azriel's relentless rhythm drives you closer and closer to the edge of ecstasy. He grins down at you, a feral gleam in his eyes as he growls under his breath, "Look at you, completely drunk on my cock." His words send a shiver of excitement down your spine, mingling with the waves of pleasure crashing over you. "You don't know how long I've wanted to do this," he confesses.
As Azriel's gaze wanders to your wings, his own unfurling behind him with a mesmerizing display of power, he traces a finger over the delicate membrane of your right wing. The sensation sends a jolt of pleasure coursing through you, and you immediately clench around him, your walls squeezing around his cock in a deliciously tight grip.
Azriel's satisfaction is evident in the grin that tugs at his lips, a mixture of pride and arousal evident in the way he huffs with each powerful thrust into you. "One more time. Give me one more," he coaxes, his voice a seductive whisper that belies the feral look in his eyes.
As he continues to pound into you with an intensity that leaves you breathless, he keeps softly brushing his fingertips over your wings, exploring the soft tissue and tracing the contours of the delicate bones. Each touch sends shivers down your spine, and you squirm beneath him, overwhelmed by the sensations coursing through your body.
Gasping for air, your toes curl as the overwhelming pleasure threatens to consume you entirely. In a tantalizing twist, a shadowy cool tendril finds its way to your clit, adding another layer of sensation to the already intense experience. As Azriel ruts harder, his movements becoming more unsteady and desperate, you feel the tension building within you, every snap of his hips sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through your body. With each thrust, he drives deeper into you, hitting that perfect spot that makes you see stars.
And then, it happens. You come together, your bodies trembling in sync as wave after wave of ecstasy washes over you. Azriel's hips stutter, his movements growing erratic as he shoots his ropes of hot cum deep inside of you, filling you up with his essence.
When he pulls out, a mixture of their combined cum drips from your well-used pussy. Azriel's eyes darken with desire as he takes in the sight of your fucked-out cunt, leaking with their combined release.
"Fuck, so pretty with our cum all over your pussy, mhm?" he breathes heavily, his fingers gathering some of the spilled cum before pushing it back inside of your throbbing cunt. You moan at the overstimulating sensation, your body still trembling with aftershocks of pleasure.
"We wouldn't want to waste anything now, would we?" he murmurs, leaning over to brush a soft kiss to your forehead before capturing your lips in a gentle kiss. Your body continues to shake as you try to come down from the intoxicating high.
Rhys returns with a tablet full of food, setting it down beside the bed as Azriel picks you up, cradling you in his arms, and carries you to the bathroom where Cassian had prepared a warm bath. The steam rises, enveloping you in its comforting embrace as Azriel gently sets you down into the tub. "You'll bathe," he murmurs softly, his voice laced with tenderness, "then we'll eat, rest for some time, and then..." He pauses, his gaze intense as he meets yours. "Then we'll fuck you until the sun comes up."
His words send a shiver down your spine, a mix of anticipation and desire coursing through your veins. You nod eagerly, your body still humming with the lingering echoes of pleasure. The promise of more to come ignites a fire in the pit of your stomach as you soak in the warm water, letting it soothe your weary muscles.
As you lean back, closing your eyes and reveling in the sensation of warmth surrounding you, you can't help but smile at the thought of what lies ahead.
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surielstea · 5 months
Text
Words on Paper
Based on this request.
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Pairing: Azriel x Fem!Reader
Summary: Azriel’s jealous over a male in your book and it’s hilarious.
Warnings: Just fluff, short Drabble :)
1k words
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You and Nesta hadn't shut up about the men in your books all morning. The new Sellyn Drake novel had come out less than a week ago and the both of you couldn't stop raving about it, you swore you had dreams about the characters, and when you weren't caught up in the plot you were analyzing the characters, the male love interest specifically who Nesta and you were all but frothing at the mouth over.
"I need him, unfortunately," Nesta sighed, looking over to me as we held our planks. Valkyrie training seemed to go a lot faster when the both of you got the chance to debrief over chapters and share what you were passionate about, Cassian didn't seem to care as long as we stayed on task and kept up with the movements.
The exercises had become second nature to the both of you, sure it wasn't as mindless as breathing but after it's been part of your routine for weeks it truly does come naturally, like a second language that only the two of you can speak.
Azriel was slow to insanity at this point. He couldn't seem to adjust to the idea of you taking interest in anyone but him. With Mates, the rule is that if the bond is accepted then there's no one else for that person, intertwined by fate.
So why was he so irritated when you rambled too long about a guy from a book?
"Are you two working out your mouths too?" Azriel stands above you, arms crossed over his chest. Slowly, you look up at him with a wide grin. "Sorry, sir," you tease. Nesta shakes her head in exasperation and you giggle.
It took one minute of silence until Nesta and you were whispering amongst each other again.
Azriel seems to have given up days ago, his eyes narrowed at you from across the sparring mats, Cassian next to him as they drink their waters.
“Doesn’t it bother you?” Azriel asks his brother, continuing to stare at both of their mates. “Does what?” Cassian turned to him with an arched brow. “That they’re so obsessed with those men from their little smut novels,” Azriel mutters and Cassian nearly laughs at the death glare the Shadow Singer was saving for the fictional male, who as of late was threatening to take his wife away.
“It’s just words on paper,” Cass shrugs, bending down to place his water on the ground. “I know but, the idea of her wanting anyone else gets under my skin,” Azriel argues and this time Cassian does laugh, it was so odd to see the revered Spymaster so torn up about some guy, who wasn’t even real. “What’re you jealous of him?” Cassian scoffs through his laughter. Azriel rolls his eyes and puts his water down. “Whatever, just don’t come crying when you can’t satisfy Nesta anymore,” He grumbled.
“I doubt that day will come,” Nesta hums from behind the Shadow Singer. He knew she was there, you with her, but he needed to get his point across. “Hey hun, you ready to go?” You dip under his arm, placing a hand on his bare chest. He only nodded in reply.
“Hey, remember what I said, it’s just words Az,” Cassian said before you got the chance to winnow him away, he nodded once more then you took him home.
You didn’t want to know what the General was going on about, you could tell from training Azriel was a little irritated but you couldn’t remember doing anything to irk him.
“You gonna tell me what’s wrong or just keep pouting like a baby?” You ask and he scowls down at you. You smile, hands coming to his jaw and pressing a soft kiss to his lips, he barely has time to reciprocate it before you’re pulling away.
“What’s got you so tense?” You smush his cheeks together and he just stares at you in reply, so you begin to guess. “Something Cass did?” You ask and he shakes his head no. “Something I did?” He doesn’t move and you deflate, flinging your arms over his shoulders and melting into him. “Can’t you just tell me what’s wrong, please?” You sigh into his neck, already admitting defeat. “Do you like him more than me?” He blurts and you stiffen, pulling away to look up at him confused. “Like who?” You utter. “The guy in your stupid book,” He grumbled and you openly cackled before slapping a hand over your lips. “It’s not funny,” He groans backing away from your touch and plopping down onto the sofa, where he could sulk in peace. “I know, I’m sorry Az,” You say, taking deep breaths to control your giggles. “I’m just saying, what does he have that I don’t?” He frowns and you walk over to him, sprawling over his lap and straddling his hips. “Perhaps a control on his emotions?” You tease and he grumbles beneath his breath like a child, looking away from you.
It was true that Azriel was quite explosive. One would think he’d be less reactive as the Spymaster and yet he might’ve been the quickest to action out of all the inner circle. It was a weakness, something he was working on. It was rude of you to point it out but you make up for it by peppering a line of loving kisses up the side of his face.
“I love you, okay? Only you,” You reassure. “Those men, they’re meant to be thirsted over, you understand that don’t you?” You ask and the male nods. “I just don’t want you wanting anyone else,” He looks at me and my grin widens. “Awh, Az,” You wrap your arms around him and squeeze him tight. “I’m all yours, don’t worry,” You muffle into his neck. “Yeah? All mine?” He asks and you nod rapidly before saying, “Promise,”
“Now stop acting like a big baby,” you pull away from the hug and hold his face in your hands. “I’m gonna go bathe, you gonna keep moping out here or do you wanna join me?” You tease. He doesn’t answer and instead picks you up from where you sit and walks you straight to the bathing chambers.
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Azriel Taglist: @coolepowersthings @lovely-giggles @quiettuba @ilovewarner45 @judig92 @tothestarsandwhateverend @je-suis-prest-rachel @call-me-a-fool @brieflyclassymortal @cherryjain17 @stqrgirlies-blog @chelsiemp @nyxbranwenn @dnfhascorruptedme @summerandsalt @annamariereads16 @thisiskaylin @itsbonniebabe
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munsons-hellfire · 6 months
Text
Lost Part 1 | Cassian
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SUMMARY: You were the princess of the Spring Court. But you no longer wanted to follow behind your brother. When Feyre decides to leave, she takes you and Lucien. But with the discovery of your mate and a war on its way you start to feel so lost.
PAIRINGS: Cassian x Tamlin!Sister!Reader
CONTENT WARNINGS: Mentions of abuse, mfw, part 1, I might have missed something but I don't think this really has a lot of warning in this part. Enjoy!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: So I ended up turning this into a few parts. There are a few points I want to touch and I don't think it would've been a good idea to do one whole part. If you wish to be added to the tag list for this please let me know down in the comments. The sumary will most likely stay the same I'm not sure yet.
WORD COUNT: 2.0K
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It felt like forever. The torture you faced under your bother’s ruleing. It wasn’t protection as he liked to call it. It was a prison, Tamlin had taken over after your father had been killed. You hadn’t been able to shed a tear when it happened, you always assumed that you weren’t meant to be in the Spring Court. When Feyre arrived as a human, you knew she was your chance for an escape.
So when she took the opportune moment to leave, you followed right behind her. Currently you didn’t understand how you had found yourself in this situation. You, Feyre, and Lucien had been on the run from the Spring Court. Little cuts littered your chest, arms, neck, and face. It was so cold, you didn’t know if you could hold on any longer. One of Lucien’s brothers was on top of you, holding you against the ice.
He lifts your head up and slams it down into the ice hard. Stars are dancing around your eyes, as you struggle to keep the blade from going into your throat. Your hand was on the blade, blood dripping onto your neck. A whimper escaped your lips as he stared down at you with a malevolent smile.
“You make such pretty sounds, I wonder what else I could get out of you.” He whispered, his tongue licking up the side of your chin all the way to your pointed ear.
You tried to push the male of you but it was no use. He was far stronger than you, and right now you were too weak. You couldn’t access your power considering you were drained. There were plants all around you even in the Winter Court but that was the last thing on your mind. It also didn’t help that you had never learned to fight. Tamlin had thought it was best you learn how to be a housemaid, how to be a mother, how to take care of your future husband.
Whatever the case may be you learned everything except how to fight and how to use your powers in a situation like this, it was biting you in the ass. Where Tamlin could shape-shift, you could manipulate the plants around you. But your brother didn’t know that, you knew better than to tell him your secret. Just before he could do further damage to you another male flew into him knocking him to the ice.
You turned to your side, a wince leaving your lips as you watched that same male throw a punch into his face. He continued to do so, he hadn’t been able to stop until someone had pulled him off Lucien’s brother. He wasn’t dead, you knew that he was knocked out cold. Your breath was shallow, as the male turned towards you red siphons glistening in the darkness of the night. He was leaning over you, hazel eyes searching you.
He gently picked you up, resting your head to his chest while he cradled the rest of your body. You stared up at him, when he looked back down at you, it snapped. Just before you closed your eyes you felt the gold thread tied around your heart. The mating bond had snapped, you were tied to the male that had just saved you. Now that you were safe you could close your eyes and that’s exactly what you did.
Rhysand stood next to his brother as Madja worked on you. Cassian had his arms crossed over his chest, he was leaning against the door. The male was trying his hardest not to hover over Madja while she worked on his mate. But it was excruciating not to be next to you to hold your hand while she healed you.
“Are you positive?” Rhysand asked again, finally looking over at his brother. Feyre was at the end of the hallway, with Azriel as well. Lucien was also there but Cassian didn’t care much for him, his brother was responsible for the injuries to his mate. He wanted to kill him so they were standing guard in front of Lucien.
“Yes. The Princess of the Spring Court is my mate. I know she felt it too.” Cassian explained again, saying the same thing he’d consistently said when they had arrived back home. Cassian paused, staring briefly at his brother. “Do you really think she has powers?”
“Feyre believed it, and I know what I saw when we were under the mountain. Tamlin didn’t see it but Amarantha did. She protected herself in a cocoon of vines. Whatever she can do, she’s more powerful than she believes herself to be.”
Cassian had heard mentions of the story about how you’d protected yourself to avoid the affliction of pain at the wrath of Amarantha. She loved your older brother, but she hated you. So she’d made your torture just as cruel and wicked as Feyre had gone through. She even locked you up with Feyre, keeping you distanced from the only family you’d ever known. Tamlin. Lucien.
Rhys had told Cass that he had done everything in his power to keep you safe. But when that happened, everything changed. He knew eventually you’d be in his court. Tamlin would destroy you, and it looks like he’d already done just that. Finally Rhys looked back at Cassian again.
“We need to keep her safe.”
“She’s my mate, I won’t let her go back to that bastard of a brother. She’s safe here.” Cassian stated calmly. He caught Rhys looking down the hall to Feyre who gave a nod.
“Then you both need to accept the bond officially, Tamlin will demand her back. And if it isn’t accepted we have no choice but to hand her back over.”
“I’ll discuss it with her when she’s awake. Until then I can’t do much.”
Rhys gave a nod of his head as Madja walked up to them. “She is healed, though she might be out for a few days. Everything was drained, powers included. She needs time to rest.” Madja explained.
“Thank you.” Cassian said, stepping past the healer and walking into the room. He grabbed a chair and set it next to your bed. Then he reached for your hand, holding it in his. Cassian would wait days for you to wake up, as long as you came back to him.
You held onto that thread when you thought you might die. Slowly you blinked open your eyes, a groan escaped your lips. You looked around the room noticing that you weren’t in the Spring Court. Then the memories of what had happened came flashing back into your mind. Panic started to rush through your body, however a hand gave you a comforting squeeze. You turned your head to see the male that had saved you holding onto it.
Just like you remembered he had red siphons on his body. Seven of them to be exact. His black hair was shoulder length, some of it was tied back in a small bun. He looked sexy with his hair that way. A smirk covered his lips, he must have seen what you were thinking was plastered on your face. His golden-brown skin made him look just as handsome. You could see some tattoos peaking through his shirt.
It was a gray shirt and was fitted perfectly to his upper body. You wondered what everything looked like underneath his clothes. Your mind started to drift, thinking of what he’d feel like against you, naked. His pulling of the chair brought you out of your thoughts, you decided to pull yourself up slightly so you could lean against the headboard. You felt the golden string that connected you to him. It was such a pain to not be closer to him. You needed him closer.
“Can you hold me?” Your voice was soft as you asked the question. He stared at you, the confusion was there only for a moment before it switched to understanding. You watched as the male stood from the chair, removed his boats and climbed into your bed. He leaned you forward gently, sitting behind you.
When he settled down into the bed, he pulled you towards his chest. You had noticed that somewhere in between him joining you on the bed he'd taken off his shirt so you could feel his warmth. You rested your head back on his chest, and closed your eyes feeling the bond shine brightly at the touch.
“I’m Cassian.” He whispered in your ear after a few moments of silence.
“Y/N.” You paused, pulling his large hand into yours and entangling your fingers together. You didn’t understand how you’d gotten so lucky to be blessed with a mate provided by the Mother. “So you really are my mate?”
You questioned finally. Maybe this was all a dream, and you’d wake back up in the Spring Court. You didn’t want that though, you’d known you had finally gotten away from your brother's temper and you couldn’t go back to it. Things had gotten worse for you when you’d all returned from under the mountain.
“I am.” Cassian’s words were so comforting as he said them.
“I didn’t think I’d ever get a mate. I… Tam said I’d never experience this. That I’d be marrying off to someone who would never be my mate.” You felt your mate tighten his grip around your waist, his jealousy was evident but you didn’t mind it. Oddly enough it felt comforting, you’d been missing something like that for a long time.
Cassian clenched his jaw at the mere mention of what your brother had in store for you when the time was right. He nudged his nose into your hair. “I can assure you mate, that’ll never happen. I will not allow your brother to take you away from me.”
“But Tam, he’ll try to get me back. I am the princess of the Spring Court after all. He’ll try to call a meeting, to call for a battle against this court.” The worry was evident in your voice as you spoke the words that Rhys had mentioned a few days ago.
“If we accept the mating bond, your brother can not do anything about it. We can accept it then see a Priestess.”
You wanted to reject the idea of accepting the bond so quickly, but you knew that was a lie. Cassian was your mate, and you were his. This had to be done, and it had to happen now. A war loomed over your heads because of your brother. He’d chosen the wrong side and you wouldn’t stand by anymore. Not with what you could do.
“Let’s do it.” You spoke finally. “I need a day, and we need somewhere where it can be just the two of us. When we come back we’ll see a Priestess.”
“I have a place in mind for privacy.” Cassian said, a smirk on his lips. “I can give you a day as well. But after that you’re mine forever, princess.” You only gave a nod and closed your eyes leaning further into Cassian’s chest. It wasn’t until you were finally asleep, breathing evenly that Cassian called to Rhys in his mind.
“How is she?” It was the first question he had asked when the conversation started.
“She’s fine.” Cassian paused, he glanced down at his mate. “She wants to accept the bond.”
“Good. That’s excellent news brother. I think we could all use that right now.”
“We’re gonna head to the cabin for a few days, then we’ll see a Priestess when we come back.”
“Sounds like a plan. When you both come back we’ll discuss what to do in case Tamlin does try to do something. I want to help her learn her powers if she’ll let me.”
“I think she’d be more than willing to learn. I think it would be great to start training with her as well even if we don’t get far into it.”
“Good idea, brother. Both of you get some rest. I’ll let Feyre know she’s doing better.”
With those words Cassian felt his High Lord leave his mind. When Cassian looked back down at you he noticed that you were asleep. The fae lights in the room dimmed down allowing only the moonlight into the room. Cassian held onto you tightly as you slept on top of his form. This wasn’t the best of circumstances, how he found you. But he was so glad that he’d found you when you needed him most.
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soulessjourney · 8 months
Note
Hello love I have a request that I would love you to write!
Cassian or Azriel I am not picky and Y/N
Y/n gets into an argument with Cassian and or Azriel about how they are not attentive, and they’re for them anymore and says that if things don’t change they’re leaving. Things do not change and it is the night that the inner circle goes into Hewn city. at the gala, Eris ask Y/N to dance. And one of the boys is really brooding just standing in a corner just watching YN and Eris dance and then is the part where Taylor goes. “I can see you staring honey like he’s just your understudy like you get your knuckles, bloody for me” I want their eyes to connect from across the dance floor. That would be great. then I am giving you full creative freedom with the undertones of exile by Taylor Swift. give me all the angst you can give the more the better.
I absolutely love this idea! I hope that I live up to your expectations and provided enough angst to feed that burning hunger of yours! Also apologies that it has taken me so long, in all honesty I kept forgetting what I was writing and I wanted it to be PERFECT.
Exile
Paring: Azriel x Reader
Word count: 4k
Summary: Azriel starts to distance himself from you. Fed up with his disappearing acts, you confront him, only for it to end in driving you away entirely.
Warnings: Angst (and lots of it), Fighting, Language, Hurt and comfort (from Mor)
If there was one thing Azriel was known for, it was his dedication to his work and his undying loyalty to Rhysand. He was also your mate, someone who meant the entire world to you. You had met Azriel about two hundred years ago when you started your bakery. He came in after watching you struggle with carrying the large bags of flour, extending a helping hand. Since then, he started coming daily to see what new goods you were cooking up, and that's when he asked you on your first date.
The first date was a bit awkward as he shied away, speaking in such a hushed tone that you had to repeatedly ask him to repeat himself. Despite Azriel's strength, you loved his shy side. There was something so docile and soft about it, and you were the only one who truly got to see that side of him.
When the bond snapped into place, both of you were fighting over who would mix the flour, ending with both of you covered from head to toe. It was when he heard your infectious laugh that he felt it, and it was obvious when you gave him that loving gaze he was drawn to. Your eyes were so soft, and your smile was wide. So, that evening, you made him his favorite treat and offered it to him, which soon led to Azriel making sure Rhysand got it through Cassian’s head that you two were not to be bothered for a few weeks.
Those were the moments you missed more than anything. You missed curling up with Azriel as you read the same book, often sharing your reactions. You missed hiding from him to scare him, only to fail the moment his shadows shot out to greet you after a long day. You missed your mate, and your happy memories felt like a fever dream. He was starting to become a distant memory, and part of you wasn’t even sure if you wanted to put up a fight.
You couldn't recall the last time you had spent more than a few moments with him. Lately, he had been staying at the House of Wind to be closer to Rhysand, ready for any last-minute missions that might arise. Initially, you didn't mind, considering Rhysand's frequent missions, especially when Feyre was pregnant and needed his support. However, what began to trouble you was that he never invited you to join him, nor did he visit your shared home to see you.
Then you heard about the time he started spending with Elain. You weren't bothered by her, as you couldn't blame her for shutting everyone out. Her entire life had been stripped away in a matter of moments, and now she was essentially immortal, with a mate forced upon her. However, understanding also brought weariness. You could sense that she had developed feelings for your mate, and Azriel, being who he is, most likely was unaware of the affection she held towards him. Strangely, this knowledge made you want to be around him more, but you didn't know how to navigate the situation.
Azriel had been a significant presence in your life, and the sensation of him slipping away was something you loathed. At some point, he had closed off the bond, making it nearly impossible to reach out to him through it. Running your hands over your face, you attempted to dispel the exhaustion before deciding to visit the House of Wind to ensure Azriel was at least alive.
Your arrival at the House of Wind did not go unnoticed. Cassian, upon spotting you ascending to the training area, made your presence known. "Y/N! You're here. We've been wondering when you would show up. We were starting to think you didn't like us," he teased, capturing everyone's attention.
Clearing your throat, you offered him a small smile as the breeze tousled your hair. "Yeah, things have been hectic at the bakery. Have you seen Azriel? It's been hard to find him lately," you inquired, noticing Cassian's expression contorting into one of pure confusion.
"What do you mean? He said he was with you this morning," Cassian replied, scrutinizing your every move. Dread began to fill your body as the realization that Azriel had even been deceiving the others dawned on you.
Forcefully laughing, you scratched the back of your head, clearing your throat. "No, he was! By 'lately,' I meant during the day since he's usually all over because of the missions Rhys keeps assigning him," you explained, even your forced smile fading as Cassian's gaze filled with concern and pity.
"Y/N, Rhys hasn't assigned him anything for a while, not after what happened with Feyre and your injury. Rhys wanted him to be around you more because of that close call. Are you telling me you haven't seen him?" Cassian inquired, raising a brow and challenging you to lie. By now, the entire area had cleared out except for Nesta, who stood in the background watching you and Cassian, her jaw tense. She knew something, and you would extract it from her if necessary.
"No, I haven't. I mean, he comes home once in a blue moon, but then he just sleeps in the guest room, and he's gone by the time I wake up," you admitted, your shoulders sagging. "I really miss him, Cass. The nightmares are starting to return. He's not avoiding me because he blames himself for what happened, right?" Just a few months ago, Azriel had angered someone, resulting in a dagger being firmly lodged in your side. Recalling that moment, you realized Azriel wasn't present when Cassian and Feyre found you on the floor of the bakery's kitchen that morning.
You heard Nesta curse before she joined Cassian's side. "I spoke to the idiot already, and I thought I got through to him. He's with Elain in the garden. I saw them just before training started, and considering how often they spend time there, he should still be there," she divulged, her expression shifting from anger to guilt. You wanted to be furious, but part of you couldn't muster the anger towards her. Nesta had tried her best to handle the situation discreetly, but with her knowing, you wondered just how long Azriel had been sneaking around with Elain while deceiving the rest of his family.
You hadn’t heard anything else Nesta had said as your feet carried you through the house. Just as you turned the corner, you collided with a solid chest, causing you to stumble back. Looking up, you sucked in a deep breath as your eyes locked with a pair of hazel ones. "Azriel," you breathed, reaching out towards him. Your hand fell to your side when he pulled away from you. "I've missed you. You're never around anymore," your voice thick with emotion as you struggled to say anything beyond the standard 'I miss you'.
Azriel glanced over your shoulder, his expression hardening. "You're not supposed to be here. Why are you here?" His eyes eventually met yours as a scoff escaped your mouth. You hadn’t seen your mate for the past few weeks, and that’s what he had to say to you? That you weren’t supposed to be there, trying to ensure he was alive?
"You're joking, right? Azriel, I haven’t seen you for weeks, and that’s all you have to say? A hello would’ve been nice at least," you snapped, crossing your arms. Rolling his eyes, he turned on his heel and began to walk away. "No, you don’t get to walk away from me, Azriel. That’s not fair. You don’t get to pull a disappearing act without some sort of explanation. You don’t get to lie to your family and expect not to get caught," you snapped, following after him. As the two of you entered the dining area, you missed the others sitting at the table, their conversations cut short as you stomped after Azriel.
Azriel stopped and spun towards you, his wings flaring slightly. "My gods, Y/N, can’t you just get off my back? I’m not going to be there every single second of the day with you. You need to learn how to live without me for once in your life." Any sound that filled the room suddenly fell silent as you took a step back, feeling as though he had slapped you.
"Oh, shit." Looking around, you came face to face with your family, all silent as they watched you. Nesta was glaring daggers at Azriel, while Cassian and Rhysand were positioned to intervene if things went south. Mor and Feyre looked at you, their faces filled with guilt. Then there was Elain, sitting there with the audacity to appear clueless about what was happening. Your entire family was there to witness the potential downfall of your relationship with Azriel. Great.
"What's your issue, Y/N? Why are you on my case today? I haven’t done anything to deserve this nagging. Gods, it’s like after you healed, you became an overbearing mess," Nesta slammed her hands down on the table and stood, prompting Cassian to grab hold of her to prevent her from lunging at Azriel across the room.
A dry laugh escaped you as you narrowed your eyes. “Overbearing? Azriel, you haven’t been around in weeks! You can’t even stand to be in the same room as me. And overbearing? Day to day, I have to deal with the people you anger, and I constantly fear for my life because of your job. I took a damn dagger to the side and almost died because of your job. I’m sorry if accepting you for who you are and your job is overbearing. I’m sorry that worrying for you is just so awful. You’ve changed, Azriel, and I don’t know if it’s because of the damn elephant in the room or if you’ve simply given up. I’m tired of dealing with the nightmares alone, and I want you back by my side when I wake up screaming because I constantly feel that dagger ripping me apart.” Tears streamed down your face as you looked around.
Rhysand had slowly made his way towards you with Mor by his side, the two members of this family, besides Cassian, whom you trusted with your life. Glaring down at the ground, you looked up at Azriel, your face void of any emotion. “If you can’t clean up your act, I’m done.” Azriel froze as a flood of fear slammed into you. He slipped, and you could tell the moment he slammed those walls back up.
“Clean up my act? You’re the one to talk. It’s like ever since you woke up, you became afraid of the world all over again. You shouldn’t need us to walk you to work and back. You shouldn’t need us hanging around the store all day just because you’re scared of someone showing up. I can’t stand to have a mate who is so fearful of the world.” You dropped your shoulders in defeat at his words. It was true; after what happened, you had been terrified of being in that shop, fearing they would come back and finish the job.
Rhysand was next to you in a second, followed by Mor, who caught you as your knees gave out. “That is no way to speak to your mate, Azriel,” Rhysand spat. “You sat around moping because you wanted one. The Mother blesses you with one, and this is how you thank her? Seriously?” Rhysand crossed his arms, the room noticeably darkening.
“Well, maybe she made a mistake. Maybe Y/N isn’t supposed to be my mate. We have nothing in common, meanwhile, Elain and I do.” The moment the words left his mouth, your head snapped in Elain’s direction as you clenched your jaw.
Looking back at Azriel, you shook your head. “I mean it, Azriel. If you can’t clean up your act, I’m done. Don’t bother looking for me until you figure out your mess. I’m done,” you spat, winnowing from your very spot into your room. Grabbing a duffel bag, you began to cram things into it just as you heard footsteps sprinting down the hall towards your door, and the echoes of voices calling out to the owner of those steps.
As Azriel threw open the door, you looked at him as he reached out for you, his mouth opening to say something. Before you could hear what he had to say, you disappeared, leaving him standing in the middle of your room.
---
It had been a month since you chose to seclude yourself in Mor's guest bedroom. As the door slowly opened, light flooded into the dark room, and Mor stepped inside. Sitting on the bed, she gently rubbed your back to draw your attention. "Hey there, sweetheart. It's time to get you out of this room. Velaris has started to notice your absence now that the bakery is closed," she said softly, sensing your reluctance. "He still asks about you, but he's also spending more time with her. Rhys has tried talking sense into him, Cassian kicked his ass, and the girls have been giving him the cold shoulder. I'm sorry, my love, but perhaps attending the Gala in Hewn City would do you good," she suggested, brushing your hair away from your face gently.
You nodded and turned onto your side to look at her, a small frown forming on your lips. Mor's gaze softened as she sighed softly. "Come, I want to show you something," she said, gently pulling you out of bed. Standing up, you followed her out of the room toward another one just down the hall. Mor pushed the door open, revealing a mannequin adorned with a stunning deep purple gown featuring delicate beadwork climbing the bodice. The main skirts bore the design of a tree and leaves, with the beads on the skirt representing flowers. It was the most beautiful gown you had ever seen.
"I had it made for you to wear tonight. You deserve to look and feel beautiful. Azriel is taking you for granted. With your beauty and eyes that could bring a man to his knees, this dress is perfect for you," Mor whispered from behind you, resting her hands on your shoulders gently.
A wide smile graced your lips for the first time in a month as you turned to face Mor. "Thank you, Mor. Truly, it means a lot to me that you did this," your words were soft and heartfelt. A sense of brokenness lingered within you, the result of Azriel's neglect over the past month, compounded by the knowledge of his time spent with Elain. Mor guided you to the bathroom, where she helped you into the tub and began to wet and wash your hair.
"You know, we’re all upset with him for treating you like this. Yes, Elain needed help before, but even Nesta started to reprimand him for spending too much time with her. I remember when he first came home after meeting you. He was covered in flowers and had the biggest grin on his face. He couldn't stop talking about you, and Cassian often had to beg him to stop. But then, after one of his missions went awry and you got hurt, everything changed. He refused to see you, or even go near that part of the house. And then he kissed Elain. I thought Nesta was going to tear him to shreds. After that, he began lying to us about spending time with you, even after Rhysand practically forced him out of the garden." Mor's words pierced through you, mentioning the kiss shattered your fragile emotional state.
A wave of despair washed over you. Shoulders slumping, you gazed down at the water surrounding your bare form. "Do you think he still loves me?" you asked, your voice trembling with uncertainty. Mor took a deep breath, visibly caught off guard by your question. She hummed softly as she poured water over your head, grappling for the right words.
"I'm sure he does. Azriel is complex, we all know that. For centuries, he's prayed to The Mother for a mate. I heard him whispering a prayer every night until he met you. Then it turned into begging her to ensure your safety. Azriel tends to shut down and push away those closest to him when he's struggling to cope. He avoided Rhysand when he returned from Amarantha's clutches. His treatment of you isn't fair, but I genuinely don't know how to reach him anymore." Mor cleared her throat, rising to her feet. "I'll leave you to dry off and get into a robe. When you're ready, come downstairs, and I'll help you dress and do your hair," she offered with a comforting smile, squeezing your shoulder before exiting the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
It didn’t take long for you to exit the tub once the water turned cold. After drying off your body, you slipped on a black silk robe and began to towel dry your hair. As you made your way towards the stairs, you made a mental note to find a way to thank Mor for everything she had done for you. Nearing the bottom of the steps, you froze upon hearing Mor engaged in a conversation with someone. Peeking around the corner, you spotted Azriel standing with his back to you in the middle of the living room, while Mor stared at him with an intense gaze. “She thinks you don’t love her, Azriel. You’ve pushed her to the brink of giving up,” she snapped, causing him to tense at her words.
Azriel ran his fingers through his hair, his mouth opening and closing as he struggled to find the right words to say. “I do, I just... I don’t know. I haven’t seen her for a month, and I’m starting to go crazy, Mor. I don’t know what to do about it anymore, and it feels like everything I say comes out wrong,” he confessed. You noticed his shadows lurking in the room, beginning to slither their way towards you.
“And what about the kiss, Azriel? You kissed Elain while your own mate was at home, thinking you were off on some mission Rhysand assigned to you,” Mor jabbed a finger into his shoulder. “You gave up, and she kept pushing. This is your doing, and you need to figure it out. She was serious when she told you to clean up your act. Right now, you’re showing her you’ll never change, not after you hadn’t even bothered to come see her for a month knowing she was here. You pushed her aside for Elain. It’s time you finally accept the consequences of your actions, Azriel. If you lose her for good, that’ll be on you.” Before Azriel could respond, he tensed and turned towards you, his eyes widening.
Allowing your gaze to fall into a blank expression, you looked at Mor. “I’m ready,” your voice came out as a whisper, and Mor nodded, shoving past Azriel. You both made your way back up the stairs, leaving Azriel standing alone in the middle of the room. Once again, you were just out of his reach, and once again, he was on the verge of losing you for good.
---
The gala was breathtaking. Witnessing the courts gathering together always brought you immense joy. Tamlin made his way towards you, a wide smile on his face. “Y/N! It’s good to see you again. We've been missing your baked goods dearly,” he grinned, prompting a laugh from you. Born in the Spring court, you had grown close to Tamlin, and it was there that you honed your baking skills while growing up. When the time came for you to seek a new path, Tamlin had let you go, assuring you that you would always have a home to return to.
When Azriel pulled his disappearing acts, leaving you alone with your thoughts, you often debated returning to Spring, where you knew you had a family who would welcome you with open arms. “Thank you, Tamlin. If I'm ever permitted, I’ll be sure to bring you some of my cookies that you drooled over,” you teased, brushing a curl away from your shoulder.
Tamlin looked around, a questioning look flashing across his face. “Where’s your mate? The last time you and I talked, he was glued to your side.” Your eyes dulled slightly as you shrugged. You hadn’t seen Azriel all evening, though you knew he was here as you were constantly followed by a shadow.
Before you could respond, Eris made his appearance, as fashionable as ever. “Y/N, you truly outdid yourself this time. You look absolutely breathtaking in that dress. Shall we have a dance?” Without waiting for your answer, Eris grabbed your hand and led you towards the dance floor, where bodies swirled in a mesmerizing pattern. You and Eris fell into an easy rhythm as he looked down at you. “Sorry to drag you away from Tamlin, but I couldn’t help but notice how sad you looked. Is it because of your mate?” His eyes bore into yours as you sucked in a deep breath.
“It would be a mistake to lie to you,” you grumbled, earning a laugh of agreement from him. “Azriel and I haven’t talked for a good while. He’s been busy with other things,” you mumbled, avoiding eye contact. As you both spun, you caught sight of him standing in the corner of the room, watching you. Your eyes hardened as they locked onto his.
Eris cleared his throat, pulling your attention back to him. “You know, if you need a break from your home, you can stay in my court. We obviously have the room, and I can make sure you get the space you need to think. As much as Morrigan hates me, she’s worried about you to the point where she asked me for help.” Studying his gaze, it wasn’t hard to tell that he was being genuine.
Looking towards Azriel again, you studied him, your eyes narrowing as Elain walked up to him, handing him a glass. Biting back your tears, you let your walls down, throwing every ounce of anger, betrayal, sadness, and fear at him. You watched as he stumbled back slightly, his hand flying up over his chest, his eyes locking onto yours. You watched as Elain reached out to him, running her hand over his arm as she tried to check on him. Eris stopped moving as he stood next to you, watching the interaction between the both of them. “Just say the word, and I can take you away from here,” he whispered.
You waited for him to brush off Elain, but he didn’t. He let her hand rest on his cheek as he kept his eyes on yours, his eyes widening. “He doesn’t care about me anymore, Eris. Take me to your court,” you said, looking up at Eris, who only nodded. You didn’t miss how he glanced at Rhysand and the others, giving them a small nod. You didn’t miss how their shoulders sagged in defeat once they realized you were leaving. You didn’t miss how the crowd began to part as Azriel raced towards you, dropping to his knees in front of you. You watched as his body shook with sobs, how he begged you to stay, begged you to stay by his side. “Where were you when I begged The Mother to bring you back to me? Where were you when I was dying on the kitchen floor of my own bakery after taking a knife for you? Where were you when I woke up screaming for you? Go back to Elain, Azriel. You made your decision.” With that, you turned to Eris, giving him a small nod. With that, the both of you walked away, leaving Azriel on the ground sobbing into his hands before he disappeared from your sight as the crowd closed behind you.
569 notes · View notes
velarisdusk · 1 month
Text
Shattered
Hockey AU
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Series Masterlist Part 3 <- ✦.⁺.✦.⁺.✦ -> Part 5 - Burning Desire
word count: 8k
content: [ explicit sexual content, fingering, voyeurism, exhibitionism, dirty talk, praise, degredation, dominance/submission, biting, group almost sex?, 5 guys but it isn't a gangbang sorry | infidelity, alcohol mention, strong language, emotional conflict, verbal conflict]
summary: At a lavish party you're reluctantly attending on behalf of your boyfriend, who's occupied with a pressing PR matter, temptation proves too alluring to resist. A heated encounter with several teammates in a secluded room is quickly shattered, forcing you to face the consequences of your actions.
author's note: :)
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The invitation had arrived in a gold-embossed envelope, signaling the kind of wealth and excess only a notorious socialite like Ianthe could muster. When the team saw the invite, their collective groan was almost comical.
“Oh, come on,” Azriel had grumbled, tossing the invitation onto the table. “Does she really expect us to show up to one of these again?”
“You know how she is,” Rhysand had replied with a roll of his eyes. “She’ll throw a fit if we don’t, and then all of her fans’ll spam our comments.”
Despite their reluctance, Cassian had insisted on attending. “It’s good PR,” he had said with a smirk. “Sadly, I can’t make it. I’ve got a prior engagement.”
Eris had raised an eyebrow. “What engagement?”
“A press event,” Cassian had replied smoothly. “To address your… inappropriate use of the team’s Twitter and make clear that the rest of us had nothing to do with it.”
Eris had looked defensive. “How was I supposed to know it would blow up like that?”
Cassian had stifled a chuckle. “Yeah, how would you have known? The Vipers tweeting, ‘Calling all baddies with fat asses, slide into my DMs if you want a real man tonight,’ and then following it up by replying to half of them with ‘ayo shawtay’—with five y’s—‘hit me up.’ Not unusual at all.” He paused, letting the absurdity of the situation sink in. Laughter bubbled up around the room, the tension breaking as Cassian continued, “Some outlets reported it as ‘disturbing,’ so now I’m on damage control. Important stuff. You’ll manage without me.”
So, you found yourself amidst a sea of opulence, far removed from your usual comfort. The penthouse was alive with celebrities, influencers, and high-profile guests. Crystal chandeliers bathed the room in a warm glow, casting reflections off designer clothes and extravagant jewelry. Conversations buzzed around you, a mix of superficial small talk and name-dropping that made you feel even more out of place.
Ianthe had greeted you with an overly enthusiastic hug, her perfume almost overwhelming. “Oh my goodness, (y/n)! It’s been ages since I’ve seen you and Cassian!” she exclaimed, her voice loud and piercing. She wore a shimmering gold gown, the fabric hugging her every curve and sparkling under the dim lights. “Where is he?”
“Babe, you should go. Someone needs to make sure they don’t embarrass themselves, and since I can’t, you’re the only one I trust to handle it,” he had said, brushing a stray bit of hair behind your ear. “Besides, Ianthe will make it a whole thing if I don’t show up or at least send someone in my place. I’ve got that press thing to handle.”
“Do I really have to go?” you had asked, frowning. “I don’t know anyone there well enough to enjoy myself.”
Cassian had sighed, wrapping his arms around you. “I know it’s not ideal, but it’ll be over before you know it. Plus, the guys’ll be there. Just stay for a bit, make an appearance, and then you can leave. Ianthe will appreciate it, and so will the team.”
You had huffed, certain they’d appreciate your presence. “Fine, but you owe me.”
He had laughed, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Deal. I’ll make it up to you, promise.”
“He couldn’t make it,” you said with a forced smile, smoothing down the fabric of your elegant but understated dress. “But he insisted I come in his place.”
Ianthe’s laugh had been high and tinkling, grating on your nerves. “Of course he did! Well, you’re here now, so make yourself at home! Enjoy the party!” She flitted off to greet another guest, leaving you feeling even more adrift.
Despite her warm greeting, you couldn’t shake the feeling of being out of place. As the night wore on, you tried to mingle, but the crowd was overwhelming. You watched the guys make small talk in their circles, but the noise and the crowd became suffocating. Seeking refuge, you slipped away from the chaos, your steps quickening as you wandered through Ianthe’s penthouse.
The further you ventured from the bustling noise, the more the laughter and music faded into a distant murmur. You eventually discovered a quiet hallway upstairs, offering a welcome escape from the revelry below. Following the corridor, you stumbled upon a study, its shelves lined with immaculate rows of books, each seeming more decorative than practical. You stood in the center of the room, the serene atmosphere wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. The soft glow of a nearby lamp cast gentle shadows on the walls, and the muffled sounds from the party below felt like a world away. It was a rare moment of peace, a chance to collect your thoughts and find solace in the stillness of the room.
Your gaze drifted around the dim room, but your thoughts were elsewhere, tangled in a web of regret. Cassian's face flashed in your mind, a painful reminder of the trust you had shattered. The memories of what had transpired were vivid: stolen moments in the locker room with Azriel and Rhysand, the rooftop terrace with Helion and Tarquin. It had all started with light touches and innocent flirtations, things Cassian tolerated, but you had crossed a line. The reality of your actions pressed heavily on you, each encounter a mark against your integrity. Every touch from Tarquin, every whispered promise from Helion, only served to deepen your regret. It wasn’t just the physical betrayals that stung but the realization that you had allowed things to spiral out of control. What had driven you to push the boundaries so far? Was it the thrill of the forbidden, the chase of something new, or simply a frantic attempt to fill a void you hadn’t fully acknowledged before? The ache in your chest grew with each passing moment, a constant reminder of the damage you had done.
The sudden rush of music and laughter from the party downstairs broke the silence, flooding into the study as the door creaked open. You turned, startled, and saw Rhysand and Tarquin step into the room. Rhysand’s gaze was sharp, a mixture of curiosity and something else flickering in his eyes. Tarquin’s expression was equally intrigued, his attention immediately drawn to you.
“What brings you up here, alone, with all the fun downstairs?” Rhysand’s voice was smooth, almost curious, but there was an undercurrent of something more in his gaze. 
“I needed a break from all the noise,” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady.
Tarquin leaned casually against the doorframe, amusement evident in his eyes. “Ianthe does have a flair for the dramatic, doesn’t she?” His tone was light, almost playful.
Rhysand nodded, his expression almost sympathetic, but his eyes never left yours. “Must be hard without Cassian here.”
You swallowed hard, feeling the tension in the room. “Yeah, it’s... different.”
Rhysand chuckled softly. “Tarquin and I were just chatting, and your name came up.” He stepped closer and brushed a hand down his sleeve, as if casually dismissing any pretense. “He mentioned something interesting about you.”
He took a final step, closing the distance between you. His presence was that of danger and allure. “So, I told him something interesting in return.” His hand reached out, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch lingering. “And, well,” he continued, his lips curling into a predatory smile, “we just had to share what we learned with Azriel and Helion.”
As if on cue, the door opened again — Tarquin’s doing, you noticed — and Azriel and Helion walked in. Helion’s grin widened as he sauntered over with an easy, confident stride. “When they came over, we were just having a little chat about you,” he remarked, his tone light and teasing. But there was something in the way his gaze lingered on you, something that hinted at a deeper, more dangerous amusement.
Azriel’s sharp gaze lingered on you. “Did you think we wouldn’t notice the way you’ve been acting?” His voice was soft, almost gentle, but there was a subtle edge to it as if he were piecing together a puzzle you hadn’t meant for them to solve. It wasn’t that you were intentionally hiding anything; it just seemed to happen that way. He paused just a few steps away, his presence quietly commanding.
Tarquin idly traced his fingers along the edge of a nearby bookshelf, his gaze drifting back to you with a casual curiosity. “We’ve noticed you’ve slipping away whenever one of us gets too close. Almost like you’re avoiding something... or someone.” His voice was light, but it was clear he was feigning ignorance.
Rhysand’s voice dripped with mock indignation. “You’re even avoiding eye contact with us. How do you think that makes us feel?” His gaze was intense, holding you in place. 
The room was charged with tension as they closed in on you, their questions relentless. You shifted uncomfortably, trying to find the right words amidst your rising anxiety. “Look, it’s not that simple,” you said, your voice trembling. “I’ve just been... overwhelmed.”
Azriel’s lips curled into a faint, knowing smile. “Overwhelmed, huh?” His voice was soft, but it carried a weight that made your heart race. He moved around you with a quiet, deliberate grace, his hand settling on your shoulder with a firm yet almost tender grip. “You know, running from one fuck to another isn’t exactly a solution.” His fingers trailed slowly up your arm, the touch deceptively gentle, but there was no mistaking the intent behind it.
Helion closed the distance with a casual, almost lazy grace, his smile never fading. “Avoiding us won’t make the mess you’ve made disappear,” he teased, his voice laced with playful mockery. His hand brushed over your shoulder lightly. “Now that you’re here, though, maybe we can have a bit of fun sorting it out.”
Rhysand’s voice softened as he leaned in, his expression mockingly sympathetic. “So, (y/n), was it worth it? Playing these games, sneaking around? Did it give you what you needed?” His hand brushed against your jaw, a gentle touch that belied the weight of his words.
“Answer him, (y/n),” Tarquin chimed in, his voice nonchalant as he flipped through a book without really looking at it. “We’re all ears.”
You swallowed hard, feeling the heat of their scrutiny. “I... I just didn’t know how to handle everything,” you stammered, trying to keep your voice steady. “It was a mess, and I didn’t think it through.”
You met each of their eyes, trying to make them understand despite the teasing edge of their demeanor. “But you know what?” you added, a spark of defiance igniting in your eyes. “It takes more than one person to fuck. If you’re going to judge me, take a look at yourselves. You’re supposed to be his friends, but you’re betraying him just as much as I am. Don’t act like I’m the only one to blame.”
Azriel’s brows rose in amusement, clearly entertained. With his lips trailing the side of your neck, he murmured, “She’s got a point, doesn’t she? We’ve all played our parts in this.” You shivered at the sensation.
Tarquin closed the book with a snap and shelved it, a smirk playing on his lips. “Well, if we’re all to blame, maybe we’ve been too harsh,” he drawled, standing beside Rhysand, finally joining you all.
Helion’s fingers began a slow, deliberate trail along your waist, his touch possessive. He let his fingertips graze the fabric of your dress, eyes glinting with dark amusement. “Let us make it up to you?” When you didn’t respond, he added, “I’m surprised Cassian let you out in something that makes you look so… delicious,” he purred, his voice low and sultry.
You shot him a look. “Cass doesn’t ‘let’ me do anything. I do what I please, and he’s secure enough not to care.”
Helion’s smirk widened as he leaned in closer, his breath hot against your ear. “Misplaced security, then,” he murmured, his tone dripping with mockery and desire.
Azriel watched the exchange with a predatory gleam. He moved his hands to your hips, the touch light but purposeful as he pulled you back into him. “Maybe he should be more worried about how easily you slip away,” he suggested, his voice a dangerous whisper. Tarquin stepped closer, his gaze fixated on you as he reached out to run his fingers along your exposed neckline. A chill ran up your spine.
Without warning, Helion’s hands slid from your waist to your hips, resting on top of Azriel’s, pulling himself closer. He leaned down for a heated kiss, his lips insistent and demanding. As his kiss deepened, Azriel ground himself against your ass, groans of pleasure from both of you filled the relatively quiet study. 
Tarquin leaned in next, his lips finding your neck. Rhysand, standing on your other side now, placed a hand on your shoulder, letting his lips graze your ear before trailing down to your jawline. Azriel’s hands moved from under Helion’s to your ass, grabbing and squeezing and pinching and spreading. “Oh, God,” you gasped breathlessly into the kiss, your voice trembling as you pressed your chest against Helion. “I can’t… I can’t handle this.” 
But his kiss only grew more fervent, his tongue exploring yours as he murmured against your lips, “You’re doing just fine, you’ve handled much more.”
With trembling hands, you reached down, your fingers deftly finding their way to the two men at your sides. Your fingers brushed against the smooth, warm fabric, feeling the outlines of their arousal. Tarquin's pants were dark navy, contrasting sharply with the crisp white of his dress shirt, and his belt was a sleek black leather that made the bulge even more pronounced. Rhysand wore a tailored charcoal suit, the fabric fitting him perfectly, showing off his powerful frame. 
As you palmed them through their pants, you couldn’t help but marvel at how incredibly sexy they all looked. Helion’s suit was a rich, deep burgundy, the color enhancing the warmth of his skin and exuding an air of refined elegance. The fabric shimmered subtly under the soft lighting, and the tailored lines of his jacket accentuated his every movement, making him look irresistibly captivating.
Though Azriel was behind you, you knew he wore a classic charcoal-grey suit, the dark color highlighting his powerful build. The suit’s fitted cut accentuated his broad shoulders and slim waist. Calling it elegance, you thought, would not do him justice.
“Fuck,” you breathed out, your voice a ragged whisper as you felt the heat and hardness of their cocks through the fabric. “You all look so… fucking hot, it’s driving me crazy.”
Azriel groaned quietly behind you, his grip on your ass tightening as he hissed, “That’s what we wanted to hear. Keep talking, angel, tell us how much you’re enjoying it.”
Your breaths came faster, each one a ragged gasp as the intensity built. “I... I can’t,” you moaned against Helion’s lips, your voice trembling. “It feels so good, it’s too much...” You turned your head to lock your lips with Rhysand, the hand you used to please him now tangling in his hair. “You’re all so fucking perfect,” you breathed, your words spilling out in a torrent of need.
Tarquin bit down on your neck, making the skin there tingle in pleasure and pain. You gasped, your voice breathless. “I want all of you, I need every bit of this... fucking addicted.” Azriel placed kisses against the back of your neck, and your words became a fervent plea. “Please don’t stop, I need more, I need all of you.” You were overwhelmed, your mind a haze of need and desire. “Just keep going, don’t stop... I’m yours, just take me, use me,” you begged, your voice raw with need.
“Well, this is a scene,” a smug voice cut through the charged atmosphere. The room went silent as every head turned toward the door.
“Seems like you’ve all been holding out on me,” Eris drawled, leaning casually against the doorframe. His eyes swept over the room with a mixture of amusement and hunger. “Didn’t realize you were all getting so… wrapped up in each other tonight.” His gaze lingered on you with a dark, knowing smile. “Seems I’ve arrived just in time.”
The tension in the room shifted, grew heavier with Eris’s presence. Your heart was racing, caught between the intense pleasure still pulsing through you and the fresh wave of anxiety his scrutiny brought. The others froze momentarily, their expressions a mix of shock and discomfort.
Helion, having maintained his composure, tilted his head with a nonchalant grin. “Eris, what a surprise. Care to join?”
Eris’s grin widened as he stepped further into the room. “I’d be delighted,” he said smoothly, his gaze never leaving you. “I’m disappointed. I’ve made it very clear how much I want you. So tell me,” he murmured, his voice gaining a roguish tone as he continued, “if Cassian wasn’t satisfying you, why didn’t you come to me first, baby? You know I would’ve fucked you so much better.”
As he closed the distance, you eyed him with apprehension. Eris’s eyes roamed over you, taking in your flushed skin and the desperate look in your eyes. “If I can’t have the privilege of being the first in this room to fuck you, I’ll just have to be the best, won’t I?” 
With that, Eris pushed his way through Rhysand and Helion, his presence commanding and overpowering. His fingers brushed against your lips as he leaned in, his breath warm against your ear. “And trust me,” he said, his voice brimming with a fierce intensity, “I plan to make up for every second of those three years. Think you can take that?” His tone was a blend of seductive confidence and genuine desire.
Before you could respond, Eris’s lips were on yours, his kiss wild and demanding. His hands tangled in your meticulously styled hair, pulling you closer as his tongue explored your mouth with an urgency that matched his frustration. Your mind raced with conflicting thoughts—how wrong this felt, knowing Cassian hated Eris with a passion. They’d seemed almost friendly at the club, though. Maybe they’d become friends after that night. Which was worse? But as Eris's lips moved against yours, you couldn't help it. You found yourself clinging to him, craving more.
Rhysand’s hands roamed with deliberate slowness, slipping beneath your dress to explore the bare skin of your thighs. Each caress sparked waves of pleasure that had you gasping. His lips found your neck, tracing heated, lingering kisses that made you moan in response.
Helion’s hands roamed over your front and sides, brushing the sensitive skin just beneath the hem of your dress. His lips followed a path from your shoulder down your arm, leaving a trail of kisses that made you whimper with every touch. His touch was both teasing and possessive, a stark contrast to the yearning you felt.
Behind you, Azriel's hips pressed firmly against you, lifting your dress to reveal the lacy, barely-there underwear you wore. His breath was hot and intense against your skin, his kisses on the back of your neck growing more insistent. Tarquin, on your left, knelt down, his lips placing open-mouthed kisses up your smooth leg, his hands gripping your thigh with relentless, demanding pressure.
The room was soon filled with the symphony of your moans, the fervent kisses, and the hands exploring every inch of your body. The line between pleasure and chaos blurred as their combined touches drove you to the brink of madness.
Eris pulled back slightly, his eyes dark with an intense desire and a wicked glint. “This dress... it’s in my way,” he growled, his voice rough with urgency. “It needs to go.”
Azriel swiftly undid the zip, and without a second thought, Eris grabbed the hem of your dress and tore it up and over your head, tossing it aside. The cool air of the study hit your exposed skin, making you press closer into Eris's arms, now completely vulnerable.
“God, fucking look at you,” he groaned, his voice thick with satisfaction as his hands roamed over your newly exposed skin. He leaned in again, capturing your lips in another searing kiss. His hands moved with renewed fervor over your body, exploring every contour.
Rhysand, Azriel, Helion, and Tarquin took full advantage of the moment, their hands and lips everywhere, driving you to the edge with their combined touches. Your neck, your chest, your arms and legs, your ass; you couldn’t keep track of who was where anymore.
The room was filled with the sounds of your breathless moans and their low, appreciative growls and hums. Every nerve in your body was alight with sensation, the heat and intensity of their touches washing over you completely.
Eris’s hands moved to your breasts, which had been freed from your bra at some point, kneading and teasing them while his mouth claimed yours with a wild intensity. His lips traveled down to your neck, and your face flushed with embarrassment as you realized you were left in nothing but your panties and heels. The remaining fabric clung to you, highlighting your vulnerability amid their consuming attention.
“Go ahead and say those pretty words for me again,” he growled against your lips, “like you were when I came in. Let me hear you, baby.”
“I want it so bad,” you gasped, your voice trembling with need. “I need it, I’m begging you, please.”
“Azriel, fucking move,” Eris commanded with a low, vicious growl that was unlike anything you’d heard from any of them. Before you could fully grasp what was happening, your back was shoved against a bookshelf behind you, Eris’s hand cradling the back of your head. The sensation of the others being ripped away left you feeling startlingly exposed, emptiness washing over you.
Eris’s eyes pierced into yours, hunger and dominance in his gaze. His hand moved from the back of your head to the front of your neck, his grip surprisingly gentle, almost like a caress. “I want to hear you say it again,” he demanded, his voice rough and commanding. He placed his other hand on your bare waist, squeezing. “Tell us how much you want it. Tell us how badly you need to be fucked by all of us.”
Your breaths came out in ragged pants, your body trembling with anticipation and need. “I want it,” you repeated, your voice cracking with desperation. “I need it… Please.”
Eris’s lips curved into a dark, satisfied smile as he pressed his body against yours, the heat and hardness of him making you moan. “Good girl,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble. 
The heat in the room surged as Eris's words hung in the air, his confidence palpable. The intensity of the situation seemed to reach new heights with his arrival. His fingers traced your lips, and you parted them slightly with a quiet exhale. The way he looked at you, with that dark, predatory glint in his eyes, made you feel like a prey caught in the snare of a hunter.
Rhysand and Helion exchanged glances, the challenge in Eris's demeanor stirring a competitive edge among them. It wasn’t until now that you realized Azriel still had a hand on your hip, his touch now more possessive, as if he were staking his claim. Tarquin’s eyes narrowed slightly, his lips curling into a smirk as he observed the scene unfolding.
Eris, now firmly in your space, didn’t wait for a response. His hands moved with a practiced ease, his grip on your jaw guiding you to face him fully. His eyes were dark, almost hypnotic, as they bore into yours. “Tell me,” he said, his voice low and urgent, “what do you need right now? Let me hear it.”
His warmth was enveloping, his breath hot against the shell of your ear as his lips brushed against the sensitive skin. Every touch seemed to heighten your awareness of just how far you'd let things go, and yet, you found yourself unable to pull away.
“I need...” you began, your voice trembling with desire and apprehension. You tried to glance at the men in the room, at Azriel, but Eris gave your head a firm but controlled shake, forcing your attention back to him. “I need all of you… All of you, Eris.”
His smirk widened, satisfaction gleaming in his eyes. He took your hand, which lay limp at your side, guiding it to his abdomen and laying his hand over yours. You could feel every muscle under his dress shirt. “Good,” he murmured. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”
He then turned his gaze towards Azriel, his eyes narrowing slightly. “You heard her,” Eris said, his tone brooking no argument. “Take a break. She’s mine now.”
The room seemed to pulse with energy when Eris gently spun you around by that same hand, his presence a commanding force as he instructed you to place your hands against the large oak bookshelf. His hands slid down slowly, along your sides, caressing your hips and waist with a deliberate, almost reverent touch. You felt his lightly calloused fingers grazing your skin, igniting a fire that made you ache with need.
The rest of the group watched with fascination and anticipation, their eyes never leaving you. The room was charged with competition and desire that seemed to fuel the intensity of the moment. As Eris knelt behind you, his touch grew more demanding. His hands roamed possessively, squeezing the curve of your waist, tracing the swell of your hips, and gripping your thighs with a fierce intensity. Every touch ignited a fire within you that made you surrender completely to him. With your hips pushed out and your back arched, you let out a moan that sent a jolt of arousal through the room, leaving the others subtly adjusting themselves as their growing need strained against their clothes.
When he bit down on your ass, the sound pulled from you fell somewhere between desperate and strained. Just when you were on the verge of demanding — not begging for — more, Eris pulled the lace of your underwear aside and teased a finger through your arousal. 
“Look at how nice and ready they got you for me,” he murmured, more to himself than anything. After lining two fingers up to your entrance, he continued. “Thank them for me, baby?”
Though you stumbled over your words trying to steady your breaths, you managed a quiet “thank you” as he eased his fingers into you with an aching slowness. The groan he let out had you squeezing around them. Eris's fingers moved with a slow, tantalizing rhythm that left no room for haste. Each caress was meticulously timed, creating a sensation that felt intensely intimate yet firmly under his control. His touch was not just about pleasure but also about power, each stroke conveying his dominance. 
Eris looked around the room, fingers still pumping slowly in and out, his gaze meeting the eyes of his teammates who watched with rapt attention. He smirked, fully aware of the effect this display had on them. With a casual but commanding tone, he addressed them without breaking his rhythm. “Sit back and take it in,” he said smoothly, standing back up. “Once I’m done with her, you won’t be seeing her like this again.”
You would’ve glanced around the room to gauge their reactions, curious despite yourself, but Eris didn’t give you the chance. His free hand came up to grasp your chin firmly, turning your head to the right to face him. “Eyes forward, or on me,” he murmured, voice low and dangerous, his breath ghosting across your lips as his fingers inside you curled just right, sending a jolt of pleasure through your body. The sharpness of the motion had you gasping, pulling your focus solely to him.
Your lips parted to respond, but instead, another moan escaped as his fingers flexed inside you, sending pleasure radiating out from your core. The slow, deliberate pace had you trembling, every nerve drawn tight as you clung to the edge he was carefully holding you on.
"I..." you started, but the words were swallowed by a sharp intake of breath. "You–" The sentence dissolved into another gasp as his thumb slid over your clit in a slow circle. Every inch of your skin felt like it was on fire, and you couldn't help the way your hips pushed back against him, seeking more.
Eris's smirk widened, and his grip on your chin shifted, thumb trailing down the column of your throat. "What's that?" he taunted softly. "I didn't quite catch that."
You fought to catch your breath, tried to gather your thoughts, but it was no use.
"You're... taking your time," you managed to murmur, a half-hearted attempt at regaining some ground. But the way your body betrayed you — arching toward his touch, trembling under his fingers — made it clear that he was the one in control. 
Eris hummed, clearly pleased with himself. "And you love it," he murmured, his voice low and dangerous, as if it were a secret meant just for you.
Another moan escaped your lips, but you gritted your teeth, trying to stifle it. You felt the weight of the others' stares on your skin, but they didn't matter. Nothing mattered except the feeling of Eris inside you, stretching you, teasing you. The pleasure was too much, and yet somehow not enough. It was a cruel balance that he had perfected.
Eris’ lips brushed against your ear as he spoke, his voice low and velvety. “You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you? I can feel how ready you are, how much you want it. But I’m going to take my time with you, is that okay, baby?”
You couldn’t help the small whimper that escaped your lips, the sound more of frustration than anything else. The way he moved inside you was maddeningly slow, calculated, as if he wanted to draw out every bit of pleasure he could. Your body responded eagerly, hips instinctively pushing back against his hand, craving more, needing more.
Helion’s voice drifted in the background, but you were too lost in those smoldering amber eyes to pay it any mind. “Come on, Eris. Give her something to remember.” Chuckles and murmurs of approval echoed around the room.
Eris chuckled, a dark, satisfied sound. “Patience, gentlemen. You’ve all had your turn.” His fingers slid out of you with a slow, deliberate motion, leaving you feeling unbearably empty. 
The hand cradling your face moved to trace a path down your back, over your ass, the touch firm and possessive. He didn’t rush, didn’t give in to the urgency that was building in the room. Instead, he took his time, savoring the feel of your body beneath his hands.
Rhysand’s voice cut through the tension, smooth as silk. “Don’t tease her too much. We want her desperate, but let’s not break her just yet, hm?”
Eris’s grin widened, a wicked glint in his eyes as he turned his attention back to your face. “Oh, I have no intention of breaking her. Just bending her a little.” His fingers found their way back between your legs, brushing against your swollen, sensitive flesh with just enough pressure to make you gasp. “We’ve got all night, after all.”
You were drowning in sensation, every touch, every word pulling you deeper into a state of raw, aching need. The way they watched you, the way they spoke about you as if you were theirs to play with, only made the heat pooling in you grow stronger.
“I… I need it,” you whispered, your voice trembling with anticipation. “Please, Eris… please.”
Eris’s smirk softened, just a fraction. “Look at you, begging so sweetly,” he murmured, but his eyes held that predatory glint you’d come to recognize. He brushed a thumb over your lower lip and leaned in close, his voice a low, seductive growl. “I want you to show them, baby. Move those pretty hips for me—let them see how badly you need this.”
He paused, letting his words hang in the air, the command settling in. The way he looked at you, his gaze intense and unyielding, made it clear this was no request—it was a demand. “Go on,” he urged, his fingers pressing just a bit more firmly against your aching core. “Show them how much you want it.”
A surge of anticipation coursed through you at his words, the need to satisfy that growing ache overpowering any lingering restraint. You were acutely aware of their gazes on you, the weight of their expectation filling the room. Slowly, you let your hips roll forward, the movement tentative at first, but as Eris’s fingers pressed more firmly against you, a soft moan escaped your lips, urging you to continue. You arched your back slightly, pushing your body back toward him, the desire becoming impossible to ignore.
A low murmur of approval rippled through the room, the men watching you with hunger and admiration. The sensation of Eris’s touch, combined with their heated gazes, sent a thrill through your veins.
“That’s it,” Eris whispered, voice dripping with satisfaction. “Good girl. Keep going.”
You moved with growing confidence, your hips swaying in a slow, deliberate rhythm, designed to show them just how badly you craved them. The room seemed to grow hotter, every brush of his fingers against you intensifying the ache. You were fully aware of how exposed you were, how much you were giving them exactly what they wanted, and yet you couldn’t stop yourself.
Eris’s other hand slid down your back, his touch firm, guiding you to continue. “Do you see this, gentlemen?” he called over his shoulder, his voice thick with pride. “This is what it means to truly want. To be so consumed by need that you’d do anything to be filled.”
A fresh wave of arousal surged through you at his words. The others murmured in agreement, their voices low and appreciative as they watched you move under Eris’s command. And as you continued to grind against him, the heat between your thighs growing more intense with each passing moment, you realized there was no turning back. You were completely at their mercy, and it felt both terrifying and exhilarating.
Eris’s gaze held yours, unwavering and intense as if he could see every thought, every desire running through your mind. The others seemed to fade into the background, their presence still felt, but distant, as Eris commanded your full attention. He slowly removed his hand from between your thighs, and you bit back a whimper of frustration at the loss of contact. The smirk on his lips told you he knew exactly what he was doing.
“Look at you,” he murmured, his voice dropping to a low, intimate tone that sent a shiver down your spine. “So eager, so desperate. You’d let me do anything to you, wouldn’t you?”
The question hung in the air, heavy with the implications of what he was asking. You could feel the weight of his dominance pressing down on you, making it hard to think clearly. Still, you found yourself nodding, unable to tear your gaze away from his.
Eris’s smirk deepened, his hand reaching for the waistband of his pants. “I knew it,” he said, his voice filled with a dark satisfaction. “You want to be mine, even if it’s just for tonight. You want to feel every inch of me inside you, don’t you?”
A tremor ran through you, the anticipation nearly unbearable as he slowly undid his pants, the sound of the zipper loud in the otherwise silent room. “Yes,” you whispered, the word slipping out before you could stop it.
He freed his cock from the confines of his pants, stroking himself slowly as he watched your reaction. “Tell me,” he demanded, his voice a low growl, “how you want it. How you’re going to let me fuck you.”
You swallowed hard, your mouth suddenly dry as you tried to find the words. “I want…” you began, your voice trembling with a mix of fear and desire. “I want you to take me, Eris. To make me yours in every way.”
Eris’s eyes darkened with lust, his hand moving faster as he stroked himself, the sight sending another wave of heat through your body. “Good girl,” he murmured, his voice filled with approval. “I’m going to fuck you so hard that you’ll still feel me inside you tomorrow. You’ll be so full of me, you won’t be able to think about anything else.”
The way he claimed you with his words as if you were his possession, only stoked the flames of desire within you. You knew you should be ashamed, embarrassed by how easily you were giving in, but all you could feel was the overwhelming need to be consumed by him.
“And when I’m done,” Eris continued, his voice low and dangerous, “you’re going to thank me. You’re going to tell me how much you loved every second of it, how you haven’t been able to stop thinking about my cock.”
“Go on and get dressed for me, baby. We’ve got somewhere to be.”
The words cut through the charged atmosphere like a knife, and every head in the room turned toward the doorway. Cassian stood there, hands resting in the pockets of a suit that fit him perfectly. He stood upright, his posture conveying an unsettling calm. His eyes, though steady, held an intensity that made your stomach twist.
You froze, your heart racing as you tried to pull yourself together. Eris, momentarily taken aback, pulled his hand away from you in a swift motion, his expression caught between surprise and frustration. The men around you were already moving, hastily tucking themselves away. You reached for your clothes, discarded a few feet to your side, hands trembling slightly as you dressed under Cassian’s unwavering gaze. He didn’t move, didn’t hurry you, but the weight of his presence was undeniable. Meanwhile, the others couldn’t seem to settle their eyes on one spot, their gazes flickering restlessly around the room.
As you dressed quickly, your mind spun with fear and a dizzying confusion. Cassian’s gaze was a constant weight on your shoulders, and every movement felt slow and surreal. When you finally made your way toward him, he extended his arm, guiding you toward the door with a firm, steady hand. The steady warmth of his arm beneath your hand was the only thing anchoring you against the whirlwind of your mind. 
You stepped into the hallway, the noise of the party growing louder as you and Cassian descended the stairs. The space felt cold, the walls closing in around you as you moved with a sense of dread. Cassian’s silence was a heavy shroud, his presence almost forbidding. His eyes remained fixed ahead, devoid of any warmth, though his face remained perfectly composed. He gave brief, casual waves and polite nods to those who greeted him, his demeanor impeccably maintained. His silence was almost chilling; the way he pointedly avoided looking at you only heightened your sense of unease.
As you approached the exit, Cassian was stopped by a man who must have been a colleague. They spoke in low tones, most of the words indistinguishable to you through the blood pumping in your ears, but you caught Cassian’s voice cutting through the din with cold clarity. “Seems she’s had one too many espresso martinis tonight,” he said, his tone smooth and effortlessly charming. “We’re heading out.” The words seemed to echo in your ears as you walked alongside him, your arm still looped through his. The weight of the situation pressed heavily on your chest as you tried not to stumble. 
You and Cassian made your way down the sleek marble hallway, the ambient noise of the party fading behind you. The elevator was just a few steps from the penthouse door, and you held tightly to his arm as he guided you. Every movement felt deliberate, his grip firm but impersonal. Waiting for the elevator felt like an eternity, each passing second stretching out and amplifying the anxiety in your stomach.
The elevator ride was a blur of metallic walls and muffled sounds. You stared straight ahead, unable to bring yourself to meet his gaze, each moment stretching into an unbearable silence. When you finally reached the ground floor, the lobby greeted you with its polished elegance. The sound of your footsteps and his seemed to reverberate through the space, each echo amplifying your trepidation. The building’s doorman greeted you with a nod, and Cassian responded with a brief, detached smile. 
As you neared the entrance, Cassian pulled out his phone with his free hand, making a brief call. The minutes dragged on as you stood by the sleek glass doors. Soon after, a black Audi A7 glided up to the curb, its glossy finish gleaming under the streetlights. Cassian had brought out the luxury car tonight, a stark contrast to his usual red F150. The polished finish and the soft purr of the engine seemed to mock you.
Cassian opened the car door for you, his gesture polite and deliberate. You slid into the plush interior, the cool leather seats enveloping you as you settled in. He closed the door behind you with a soft click, then slipped a tip to the valet before making his way around to the driver’s side. With an unreadable expression, he slid behind the wheel, taking his time to adjust himself before pulling away from the curb.
The drive was shrouded in an oppressive silence, the only sounds being the steady hum of the engine and the occasional click of the turn signal. Cassian’s profile was set in a rigid line, the stern set of his jaw betraying none of his inner thoughts. You fidgeted with your hands, trying to make sense of the situation, but every attempt to gauge his mood seemed to lead only to deeper confusion.
Your gaze dropped to your hands in your lap. They were trembling. betraying the turmoil churning inside you. The silence in the car felt suffocating, pressing down on you with each passing second. Your mind raced with frantic questions: Was he angry? Disappointed? Did he already know everything? The more you tried to steady yourself, the more the uncertainty gnawed at you.
You tried to focus on the rhythmic thrum of the engine, the soft vibrations through the leather seat. But even the steady hum seemed to amplify your anxiety, making the silence feel even more oppressive. Each street you passed blurred together, a series of indistinct shapes and shadows. Your thoughts spun in a relentless cycle of worry, and you couldn’t escape the growing dread that was settling heavily in your chest.
Then a new wave of mortification crashed over you. The image of Cassian opening the door, his eyes taking in the sight of you practically naked against the bookshelf, filled your mind. The sheer embarrassment of being caught in such a compromising position—the heels, the underwear pulled aside, leaving you exposed and vulnerable—was almost too much to bear. You had been so caught up in the moment, so lost in the haze of the night, that you hadn't fully processed how degrading it must have seemed. The thought of him seeing you so utterly exposed, presenting yourself like a bitch in heat, was a sharp, humiliating jolt.
You considered what you might say when the time came. Would apologies be enough? Could explanations make any difference? The questions tumbled through your thoughts, each one more unsettling than the last. Now and then, you’d steal a glance at Cassian’s profile, trying to read something—anything—into his stoic expression. But he remained a solid, unyielding presence, leaving you to confront your anxieties alone.
You glanced at the passing street signs, noticing they were not leading toward your apartment. Your brow furrowed in concern as you watched the roads change. Cassian made a sharp turn, and you could no longer ignore the growing knot of anxiety in your stomach.
“Cassian,” you ventured cautiously, your voice barely cutting through the heavy silence, “where are we going?”
He offered no response, his focus straight ahead, his expression inscrutable. The tension in the car grew almost tangible as you fidgeted in your seat, trying to make sense of the unexpected detour. 
Minutes stretched into what felt like hours, each intersection and street sign passing by in a blur. The initial confusion of the detour slowly gave way to a creeping sense of recognition. You noticed that while the roads were leading you further from your apartment, they were somewhat familiar. The familiar landmarks began to settle in your mind, and you felt a growing realization.
As the streetlights flickered past, you finally identified a landmark that confirmed your fears. The realization hit you with a jolt, and you swallowed hard, feeling a lump of anxiety form in your throat.
Cassian pulled the car to a smooth stop in front of the familiar house, its warm lights casting a soft glow on the front lawn. You stared at it, stunned, as he unlocked the doors. 
“Cass, please, we need to talk about this,” you said, your voice cracking as you turned to face him. “I know things look bad, but I can explain!” But why should he let you explain? What would you even say?
He glanced at you briefly before turning his attention back to the road ahead, responding with a cold calmness. “There’s nothing to discuss. You’re staying with your mom for a bit.”
The impact of his words hit you hard; this was the first time he had spoken since you left the party. “No, wait,” you pleaded, the tears that had been brimming your eyes finally falling. “Please, just let me explain. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen—”
Cassian cut you off with a firm tone. “I’m not interested in your excuses, (y/n).”
Your hands gripped the seat as you struggled to find the right words. “Cass, please, it wasn’t what it looked like. I was just—”
“Just what?” he cut in, his voice as cold as ever. “Drunk or not, and it seems like you’re not, the situation was clear. Get out.”
You stared at him in shock, your voice trembling. “Please, just listen to me! I’m sorry for everything. I never meant for any of this to happen!”
He gave you a hard look, his face set in stone. “You made your choices. Do us both a favor and fix your hair before you walk in. Wouldn’t want your mom to think her daughter’s a cheap fucking whore.”
The words hit you like a punch, leaving you in stunned silence as he waited for you to get out of the car. You stared at Cassian, your heart aching with each passing second. “Cassian, I’m so sorry. Please believe me, I…” Your voice trailed off. You weren’t getting anywhere.
With a resigned sigh, you reached for the handle and slowly opened the car door. Each movement felt heavy with your defeat. As you stepped out onto the pavement, you cast one last glance at him, the weight of the night’s events settling heavily on your shoulders. Cassian's face remained impassive, his gaze fixed ahead.
You pushed the door shut, and made your way to the front door, the cool night air biting at your exposed skin. The stillness of the quiet neighborhood seemed to press in on you, the pitiful realization of your vulnerability sinking in more with each step.
Standing on the doorstep, you hesitated for a moment, your fingers hovering over the doorbell. The stark contrast between the warm, inviting glow of the house and the cold, dark night around you felt almost surreal. The weight of your earlier actions and Cassian’s harsh words seemed to bear down on you.
Finally, with a resigned breath, you pressed the button on the Ring camera. The chime echoed softly through the night, a jarring reminder of how far you had fallen from the comfort you once took for granted. As you waited, you could only hope that your mother’s response would offer some semblance of solace amid the wreckage of your evening.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
Taglist <3
@blessthepizzaman @celear @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @girl-math-aint-mathing @halo-hanging @julesvanslutta @lilah-asteria @paleidiot @panther-girl-124 @secretlyhers @starlightazriel @scarsandallaz @uncxmfxrtablex
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sapchat · 1 year
Text
We Are Not Our Fathers
Azriel x Reader
Summary: You get summoned to your mate and Cassian whilst they are on a mission, only to find out there was a surprise at the end of it.
Warnings: mentions of a fight, children, and an argument between two lovers.
Words: 5k
Part 1: You are here! Part 2
Fun fact: this is technically my third fanfic now, cuz I’ve got a part one for something else and I’m writing part two, I just got this idea yesterday while listening to this playlist and was like “I need angst, azriel, his mate and a child.”
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Azriel and Cassian had been at one of the Illyrian camps investigating rumors of… something. You hadn’t been paying attention when your mate told you why, he’d been getting dressed while telling. So, you could see the distraction at the time. It had been at least two hours since your mate had left and you got summoned down the bond, and a shadow seemed to tug at your hand.
So, following the bond you appeared in a typical Illyrian Steppes living room, with Azriel at the top of the steps.
“Hey, we uh, need you up here. We thought we were done but Cass found someone.” Azriel said meeting me at the bottom of the steps and grabbing a hand, rubbing his fingers on my wrist. He picked the habit up a few years into our bond, he says it keeps him grounded, especially after or during missions like these. Nodding my head, I followed the narrow steps behind him to see Cassian standing in the doorway of one of the rooms, there was a smidge of blood on the side of a wall, so I wasn’t sure what I was going to walk in on.
A little winged child was not what I was expecting. Cassian looked at me sheepishly then nodded to the side so the three of us could talk.
“So, I’m going to assume we didn’t know there was a child here?” I asked leaning against the wall.
“From what we could tell there were no reports of a child when we first started getting reports of the retaliation happening. My shadows also didn’t pick up on a child when we got here, so either he was just hiding really well because of the guests in the house, or he snuck in.” Azriel responded.
“Any idea how much he heard? Or what does his parental situation look like?” I asked, I needed to know how bad this situation could be. Especially if this child doesn’t have a family because of its father’s or mother’s choices.
“For the most part, some of them went easy. Only three of ‘em put up any real fight, hence some of the blood there by your head,” Cassian started.
“Ew, thanks for telling me that one.” I’ll just shuffle to the side.
“As for a possible guardian, he hasn’t answered any questions. He did call me a bastard though, so I guess he has listened to something while around them.” Cassian finished. He seemed almost more stressed than I. I assume because he’s become quite partial to being babysitter for Nyx in the last few months for Feyre and Rhysand to be able to go out.
“What do you think, he’s probably what four, maybe five. You have more experience in working with kids, and with Madja, what do you think his outcome is with what he’s been dealt.” Azriel asked, dragging a scarred hand down his face.
“All children are different. One could experience something awful like the death of a parent and not remember anything about it. Others could never recover from it and grow up acting out the rest of their lives. It’s just a matter of how they get help. And knowing this camp, they probably won’t get much mental help at all. You two should know that” It’s not what they wanted to hear I imagine, but it was the truth. “So, what’s the plan? I assume if you have summoned me here you want me to go talk to him?”
“Yea actually, that’s exactly what so thanks for offering that so we don’t have to ask.” Cassian states rubbing the back of his head. Little shit.
Sighing, I turn my eyes to my mates, who just shrugged. I’ve been left here with the two most awkward people when it comes to random kids. Such a surprise came from the man-child Cassian himself. I roll my eyes, but send something to calm down the bond, and turn to go into the room.
The child is on the smaller side, evidence of the winter that’s still in the mountains so it’s evident his family doesn’t have much money for food. He’s got some dirt on his clothes so he’s either been out playing today or he just doesn’t have many clothing options. His wings were on the smaller side for what we assume his age group is, so he either is just going to have slightly smaller wings, or he’s developmentally delayed for his possible age. Probably due to the lack of food and hygiene.
I step slowly into the room, trying to make my slightly tall frame smaller. “Hi there. What’s your name?”
The little boy looked at me with wide hazel eyes, a twinkle in it that I couldn’t tell meant he was scared or intrigued by my presence. “Hawthorne.”
“Hawthorne huh?” You ask, then tell him your name, “Are you okay Hawthorne?” I ask him, he sits up just a little taller, a twitch in his bat-like wing following after.
He nodded his head in response, and I nodded back in understanding. “I was wondering who you were here with buddy? It’s okay if I call you buddy, right?”
“I was with my daddy. and I don’t know if you can call me buddy. Daddy’s usually the only one that does. Daddy said it’s cause we’re friends, but I don’t know you.” He answers sheepishly looking around my body towards the end, telling me I have a shadow, likely two of them.
“Well, if I tell you something about me, and then you tell me something, then we would be friends, wouldn’t we?” He hesitates, thinking about the question then nods his head quickly.
“Okay, well you know my name already,” I say then move to sit on the corner of the bed and make it seem like I’m thinking about my fact, “One of my favorite things ever, is getting to go and watch the sunrise or sunset as it comes up or down, and it shine on the soft snow. It’s really pretty.” I say, his head perks up a little at what I tell him.
“I like that too! I also like it when it storms, 'cause that means I don’t have to go out and I get to stay inside with my daddy.” He says. I smile at his enthusiasm of getting to share something we both like.
“I’ll tell you another secret then.” His eyes get really wide, and I feel a questioning brush through the bond. “I also like it when it storms. Because that means I get to stay inside with my friends.”
“Are they your friends?” Hawthorne asks looking at Cassian and Azriel behind me.
“Yeah, those are my really good friends, Cassian and Azriel. They… came to talk to the people that were downstairs. Did you know them?” I ask, glancing at the two males behind me, who are trying to seem small, but with the size of Cassian and Azriel’s wings. They’re failing.
“It was my daddy and their friends. I heard lots of yelling. And that they called your friends bastards. So, I did when they came up here. Where is my daddy?” I looked at Azriel for an answer, he looked down and then at Hawthorne.
“We took your father somewhere so we could talk with them. Do you have a mother we could take you to? Or anyone else.” Azriel answered the child.
Hawthorne shook his head no, “Daddy says mommy died when I was little, even smaller than now. And daddy says I’m the only thing he has left. But I think that’s silly 'cause we have neighbors!”
I sigh and look at my mate and Cassian, I then look back to the hallway and back to the child, “Hawthorn I’m going to go talk with my friends really quick, are you okay here?” The boy nods his head and watches as the three of us leave the room.
It’s now my turn to rub my hands down my face. “What do we do with him? I assume mom either died in childbirth or from sickness. And now we’ve got dad where he’s going to probably be punished for what they’ve been planning.”
Cassian almost winces at the last part, “His father was one of the people to put up a fight. We’ve got him in Hewn City right now, one of the others said he’s the ring leader for wanting to try and get rid of Rhys, and ‘go back to the old ways.’”
“Gotta love males and their ever-needing reason to be on top,” Azriel said laying back against the wall across from me, one of his feet resting between my ankles.
“We asked Rhys what he thought. He thinks it should be up to you.” Cassian said.
I processed the question for a second. Thinking about the options that are available. If Hawthorne stays, he’ll be homeless, wandering the streets like Cassian did; and based on how he looks already, he probably wouldn’t last long. Or taking him with us. To Velaris and trying to find him a place there. He could stay in the House of Wind until we find somewhere or someone.
I look at Azriel and he nods, knowing what I’m going to decide. If I had it my way, there would be no children wandering the roads here in the camps. But the orphanage idea has been slow, Devlon the only one wanting to even entertain the idea.
“Take him with us. He’ll be better off in Velaris, and until we can find somewhere permanent, he can stay in the House with us all.” I say, Cassian nods knowing I’m making the decision based on what he’s told me of his past before Rhys and his mother.
“Looks like you’ll get a friend Cassian, I’ll be sure to set up playdates.” Azriel says pushing off the way and patting his brother on the back.
Cassian had a shocked look on his face, eyes following Azriel as he followed me back into the room Hawthorne was patiently waiting in.
“Hey, Hawthorne? How about you come with me and my friends for a little bit, until we can see if your father gets into trouble, okay?” I asked going in and sitting on his bed, angling my body to be eye level with the winged boy. He seemed to sit and think about it for a second, then spared Azriel a questioning look before looking back at me.
“Will I still get to do my training?”
My eyes widen just a tad. Training at five? I look over my shoulder to Cassian and Azriel in question.
“Yeah me, and Cassian can help with that. We’re both really going at flying so we can help you learn some.” Azriel told the child, putting a lot of emphasis on them being so good at flying. This seemed to make the boy happy.
“Okay then. I guess I’ll come with you. But I get to bring my toys!”
“We wouldn’t expect you to leave them behind buddy. Now where are your clothes?” I said standing from the bed and ruffling my fingers through his dark brown almost black hair.
Hawthorne jumped from the bed, his little wings flapping as he did, and ran to the dresser in the corner of the room. He pulled open a drawer almost at eye level and grabbed what little clothes sat in there. “Here they are!” He ran back over and handed them to me. He only had two shirts and another pair of pants, plus only a few pairs of undergarments.
I looked in the direction of my mate and he nodded at what I was thinking. We’ll have to get him some more clothes. I held my hand out and Azriel summoned a bag from the shadows and handed it to me. I usually use it for the farmers market, but I’ll just get a new one.
“Okay, bubs, come here and I’ll hold you while Azriel takes us back to the house.” The boy hopped over with a questioning look on his face.
“He’s going to fly both of us to your house?”
“Nope! He’s going to do something called winnow, which means,” I sat for a second thinking how to explain this to a child, “he’ll grab my and Cassian's hand, and then we’ll disappear and then reappear in the house!” Yeah, that was a great explanation.
Hawthorne seemed to question it for a second, then came over and all but crawled up into my arms. I moved the bag to my shoulder and then joined Azriel and Cassian. The three of us all looked at each other as if questioning what I’d decided.
And into the shadows we went, only for Azriel to then grab onto me tighter to glide us down to the balcony of the House of Wind. Hawthorne gripped my neck tighter looking around at all he could see of Velaris. And I knew I had made a good decision for the boy.
Feet touching the ground Hawthorne all but leaped from my arms to run and look over the balcony, pulling himself up by using his feet on the spindles to gain leverage to look out. Mouth opening by the second, I leaned back against Az watching the boy. He’s never seen so many people at once living in such a beautiful place.
“Hawthorne, wanna go get a quick snack before we get you cleaned up in a tub?” I asked leaving my mates front to join the boy at the railing. He looked up at me with wide eyes before looking back out towards the Sidra. “It’ll all still be here when we’re done. And if you’re not tired then you can even see it once the sun goes down. It looks even better.” He turned back with a slightly toothless grin and nodded enthusiastically, jumping from the side, and gripping my hand swinging from it.
Walking into the sitting room I walked the boy towards the kitchen. Already sitting on the counter was a little dinner for the boy, the House instantly knowing what was needed of it. I helped him up onto a stool he quickly dug into his dinner.
“Easy now, don’t want to eat too fast and make yourself sick,” I advised brushing a finger across his back. I walked around the counter and grabbed a small cup and filled it with water so he could drink as well.
Once he was done eating, he quickly gulped down the water and brushed his mouth on his hand, then proceeded to wipe the hand on his shirt. Boys. I grabbed him before he had a chance to run off and walked him up to mine and Azriel’s bathing room where Az sat pouring a few drops of bubbles into the bath.
I set Hawthorne down on the ground and allowed him to undress so he could climb in the bath and gave my mate a quick peck on the cheek in thanks. Admiration flowed down his side of the bond as I leaned over and started wetting Hawthorne’s hair. He splashed around a little playing with the bubbles as I washed the grime off of him.
Once I was done, I grinned and grabbed a handful of bubbles and placed them on his head. The little Illyrian quickly looked up at me and proceeded to grin. And without a moment's notice he flapped his wings in the water spraying water all over me.
We both sat in silence for a little bit, me in shock and him with a look that said, ‘Uh oh’. Then I started laughing, and Hawthorne quickly realized he wasn’t in trouble for getting water over me.
After his bath, and the fight of drying him off, and the battle of getting him dressed. I did as I had promised and walked him back to one of the balconies so he could watch the ending of the sunset and all the lights of Velaris come on. We sat quickly, him in amazement, me writing down some reports to send to Rhys in the morning.
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It was in the middle of the night I was awoken to one of Azriels shadows, Azriel rousing from sleep himself and moving a wing off of me to see what was happening. Then I heard soft padding down the hall, and a shuffling of wings. I then heard the door move a bit as someone jumped and grabbed the doorknob, and the door quietly moved open.
Raising our heads, we were greeted with Hawthorne sniffling as he waddled into the room. He looked up at the two of us from the foot of the bed, glancing back and forth. I glanced at Azriel and silently asked if he’d allow the boy in the bed with us.
Azriel looked at me, then flopped back on his stomach and grumbled “Once you feed them and let them sleep in the bed, they end up staying. Look at Cass.”
I lightly slapped his arm and raised up more and nodded to my side of the bed. Hawthorne quickly shuffled over and climbed his way into the bed and my arms. “Wanna talk about it?” I quietly asked.
He shook his head and placed his wet face into my neck. I hummed an okay and moved the blankets back over us and went back to sleep, Azriel’s wing shifting back over as he moved around.
In the morning I awoke to an empty bed, not unusual with Az doing morning training, but I distinctly remember a little boy crawling into the bed in the night as well.  
Climbing out of bed, a shadow greeted me happily and started leading me in the direction of the living room; and was greeted by Cassian holding the boy in the air telling him to get ready, and Azriel sat in a chair drinking tea.
“If he breaks something Cassian, you get to tell Rhys.” I said, walking further into the room and joining Azriel on the armrest, his hand wrapping around my hip and patting it. Azriel tilted his head in a way saying, ‘That’ll be fun’ and went back to his morning readings.
“Hey, we learn to fly by being dropped from different heights, I figured you prefer it in the living room, where he could land on the couch.” The general replied, letting go of the boy and allowing him to flap-glide his way to the couch in question.
I let the two continue and looked down to my mate, “Wanna join me in the kitchen, so we could talk about H-A-W-T-H-O-R-N-E’s F-A-T-H-E-R?” He nodded his head and took my hand to lead me in the direction of said room. Already on the counter was my breakfast, courtesy of the house which I thanked, and a steaming glass of coffee.
“I went earlier this morning. He’s not wanting to give us anything. Rhys wants to make an example of them.” Azriel said going straight to the point. I looked up from putting jam on my toast, my eyes trailing to the sounds of the child’s laughter and Cassians' praise.
“What about Hawthorne?”
Azriel sighed, already knowing I wasn’t going to let this go without a fight. Either with him or our High Lord. “Rhys is going to leave that up to you. His recommendation thought was to find someplace around Velaris so he wouldn’t be in a camp where issues may arise in the future. When he’s older.”
I looked sharply up at what he said. “What is that supposed to mean?” I made sure to keep my voice somewhat low so as to not raise attention to us.
“We both know what he means. He’s just trying to cover future bases because he has Nyx now.” Azriel tried to calm down, resting a hand on top of mine. I pulled it back from him immediately.
“No Azriel I don’t know what you mean. He’s a child what are you two trying to say?” I was angry. He’s five, if that. What was there to possibly worry about to ‘keep an eye on him in the future.’
Azriel said your name then continued, “His father was plotting to get a group of people to kill Rhys. Maybe worse.” Azriel almost seemed angry at the position I had taken, in defending this threat against his High Lord. But the threat was a child.
I glared at Azriel and all but snarled when I said, “Sons are NOT their fathers Azriel. You of all people should know that.” I even pointed in his direction for emphasis on my statement, his hazel eyes going wide in surprise at it. Shock and hurt flowed down the bond, and I pushed my feelings of anger towards him.
Turning I leave my breakfast to go join Cassian and the deemed threat in the other room to watch him stretch his wings.
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It was later in the evening, after playing with the child and having Cassian take us down to the shopping district so he could have more clothes that I had finally let myself think about the argument from earlier in the day. I had already put Hawthorne to bed almost two hours ago and was down in the kitchen sipping wine. Setting the glass down on the counter I ran my hands down my face in frustration, and then came some shuffling.
Turning my head, I expected Azriel but found Hawthorne. Bleary-eyed from what little sleep he got. “Hey, what are you doing back up, it’s late.”
The little dark-haired child rubbed his eyes, his other hand gripping a little black cat stuffed animal he begged to have. “I have trouble sleeping in the bed. It’s super soft.” His eyebrows furrowed together and then he said, “The shadows also keep me awake by playing with my hair.”
A few of Azriel’s shadows had taken a little liking to the boy, much unlike their master, it seemed. “Well. Since you’re awake, want some hot chocolate?” I asked, the boy seemed confused at my words and asked what hot chocolate was. “Hot cocoa?” He shook his head in confusion again.
“Come on, I’ll make us some cups and you can try it,” I said lifting him up to sit on the counter and wiped my finger at some of the dried drool on his cheek.
Turning to a cabinet, I grabbed two mugs to set beside him and continued to pull supplies out to make the cocoa. Hawthorne watched every move I made, measuring out the ingredients, putting them into a pot to warm up, and even helping stir every now and then. Once it was done, I moved it over to the side to allow it to cool a bit more before putting the drink into the mugs.
“Now here’s the fun part. I like to add some extra things to mine.”
Hawthorne seemed interested in whatever it was I was going to add.
“I like to take this white stuff, called whipped cream, and put it on top, then add this stuff here called cinnamon. Do you wanna try mine and see if you like it for yours?” I asked, Hawthorne seemed to think deeply about it, furrowed eyebrows, and all then eagerly nodded his head. I carefully handed him my cup and he took a little sip, whip cream getting on his upper lip and nose, then made a loud ‘ahh’ sound after gulping it down.
“I’d like some please!” The boy eagerly handed my mug back and watched me add it to his smaller mug.
We sat side by side sipping at our drinks, Hawthorne’s eyes drooping more and more as he drank before he set his almost empty mug on the counter and yawned.
“Ready to go back to bed?” He seemed a little hesitant and then said something that broke my heart.
“I don’t wanna sleep by myself, I’m scared someone’s going to come and get me.” He didn’t want to make eye contact.
I looked at him a little inquisitively, “Why do you think someone’s coming to get you?”
“Well, I really liked being with Daddy, even if I didn’t get much food. And then you guys came and took my daddy and me, because daddy was being bad. But you have been really nice, and Cassin has been helping me fly, and even though Azzie don’t like me he still lets me play with his shadows, and you guys have food and it’s warm-“ I stopped him before he could continue working himself up.
“Hawthorne, you don’t have to go back to the camp if you don’t want to. You know that right?” I said rubbing his hand in a comforting way.
He seemed sheepish as he nodded then asked, “I would get to stay here with you? And Cassin and Azzie?”
I sighed trying to think of an answer, “I don’t know if you’d get to stay with us. You could go to another place that would love you very much.”
Hawthorne didn’t like that answer. Tears forming in his little hazel eyes, lips wobbling, and I knew I needed to backtrack.
“Hey, how about this buddy?” He sniffed and ran a hand over his eye, “How about we pause this conversation, and me and you go sleep? Then we can talk when I get some answers.” Answers only the Inner Circle could answer.
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It took Hawthorne only 20 minutes to fall back to sleep in his room and me another hour lying beside Azriel. It was early morning when I awoke to Azriel getting up himself.
“Think you could call a meeting about little bits?” I asked rubbing my hands down my face.
Azriel sighed and sat back in the bed beside me. “You shouldn’t get attached to him; you know that. And it’s not that I think that he’s going to become his father or that I hate him. I heard you guys’ last night, and what you both talked about.” He sat there for a second licking his lips as I cringed knowing he heard us, “I do like him. He’s a sweet kid, and I’m glad he’s had a better life than most Illyrians-”
I stopped him, “I didn’t mean what I said yesterday. I know you’re not your father and I should’ve never. Ever. Compared you to him.”
“I know. You were angry and believed you had to defend him. I’m proud of you for that. But if you really want to discuss what happens with him, then I think we should talk.” Azriel said, grabbing my hand and holding it as he laid back across my stomach.
I nodded, and we started talking. About all outcomes for Hawthorne. What would happen to him, how he’d be raised, all of it. Then we went to the River House. And I joined the Inner Circle as we talked about him. Rhysand’s concerns, Amren’s and Mor’s surprise, Feyre’s support in what would happen, and how it would all be dealt with.
At the end we had an answer.
It was later in the day that I asked Hawthorne if he wanted to go walk around town with Azriel. I was slowly walking behind as Azriel walked somewhat awkwardly with the boy, talking with him as Hawthorne was eagerly pointing around at different shops.
Hawthorne’s eyes widened and grabbed Azriels’ hand, the older Illyrian tensing up at the innocent little child grabbing his scarred hands and dragged him over to a bakery to press his face into the window and stare at the sweets.
“Can we go in there?” Hawthorne asked eagerly looking between Azriel and me. Azriel looked to me for some guidance, letting me control the situation. Nodding my head, Azriel led the three of us into the bakery and let the boy pick what he wanted and got me my favorite treat too.
I led Hawthorne back outside so we could eat, take in the sights, and talk to Hawthorne like we needed to.
“Hey Hawthrone, remember the conversation from last night? Can me and Azriel talk to you about it?” Hawthrone seemed more downtrodden at the reminder of last night but nodded his head.
“Hawthorne, I got to visit your dad before we left, and I just wanted you to know that he isn’t going to be able to come home. And because of that, we need to find you a good home.” Azriel started out, not telling the boy his father wasn’t going to come home. Rhys did have to make an example and couldn’t just pardon him because he had a son.
“Azriel and I have been talking with some people, and we’re wondering what you want to do,” I said, handing the boy a napkin to clean his face as he ate. He glanced between Azriel and me, then down at the table.
“Where would I go if Daddy can’t take me?” he asked shyly.
“Well, we could find you a loving home here, in the city. Where you would be cared for and get to learn all kinds of things with kids your age and everything. Another choice is we find you a home back at your camp, somewhere that’d be able to care for you, and you’d get to be with other Illyrians your age.” Hawthorne seemed to think the two options over. Then Azriel looked at me and I nodded.
“Or” Azriel started, “You could stay with us, and we could raise you. Then you’d stay with Cassian and us, get to meet the High Lord and Lady, and all our friends, while going to school here in Velaris. And in a few years, we’d take you to a camp called Windhaven and you’d train to be a warrior.” Hawthorne’s eyes got wider and wider as Azriel continued, looking back and forth between us two, his grin starting to match mine.
“So. Which would yo-“ Azriel didn’t finish as the tiny Illyrian lunged over the table into both of us.
“YOU I WANNA STAY WITH YOU!” Hawthorne yelled excitedly, gripping the both of us as I laughed.
Azriel looked at me, love flowing down the bond and him receiving the same back from me at the new addition to the family.
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847 notes · View notes
illyrian-dreamer · 2 years
Text
ACOTAR Masterlist
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GIF by kennedy1917sworld
*(Indicates smut)
Azriel:
Changing Shadows (complete series):
Summary: You have a new role in the Inner Circle — Heard Guard of Velaris. And as Rhys’s younger sister, you feel you have a lot to prove. 
You and the Shadowsinger are also growing closer, and tension builds as your relationship changes from friendship to something else...
How will you juggle your feelings for Azriel and the dangers that come with your new role, without disappointing the rest of the Inner Circle and the Night Court?
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5* | Part 6* | Part 7* | Part 8 | Part 9* | Part 10 | Part 11* | Part 12* | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15* | Part 16* | Part 17* | Part 18* | Part 19* | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23* | Part 24 - Finale
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Overwritten (complete series)
Summary: After months as his prisoner, Hybern has hijacked your mind, turning you into an enemy of your home, your family, and your mate, Azriel. 
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5* | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 - Finale
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And Then There Were None
Summary: In the lead up to the war, Hybern releases a catastrophic spell that wipes out all humans, sparing just one.
Abandoned in the desolate human lands, you scavenge to survive long enough to find your family.
Reluctantly, you are found by the Shadowsinger as fate intervenes to guide you under his watchful eye.
Part 1 | Part 2
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One shots:
A Shadowsinger’s intuition
Feel too much
Confessions at Starfall
Stay with me
Spin the bottle
In the arms of understanding*
Drabble:
Salad (fluff)
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Cassian:
One shots:
Tides and turmoil
With benefits*
Remnants of a star
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Azriel and Cassian:
Our Girl (series)
Summary: Deeming you unfit for a mission, the Inner Circle have betrayed your trust and shattered your life’s mission to avenge you sister. And the two males you love most were at the centre of it all.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4* | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9
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Rhys:
Series
Dance with the devil
Summary: You attempt to rob the High Lord of the Night Court.
Part 1 |
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One shots:
Two lessons in one*
Make a bargain with me
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Bat boys:
Drabble:
Bat boys react to being called ‘bro’*
Brat taming bat boys *
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Lucien: 
Frozen Flames (series)
Summary: After fifty years trapped Under the Mountain, you struggle to adjust to your new found freedom as Kallias’s third-in-charge to the Winter Court.
In an unlikely circumstance, you meet Lucien Vanserra.
As you and Lucien grow closer, dealing with the loss of your mother and trauma from Amarantha’s reign proves harder than you thought. How will you start to trust and love again?
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5* | Part 6* | Part 7 | Part 8
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Eris
One shots:
Conditions of entry*
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Comment to join the tag list :)
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Sarah J Maas, not my own.
2K notes · View notes
thelov3lybookworm · 1 year
Note
newly-mated cassian x reader or azriel x reader finds out his mate is pregnant, and his primal protective instincts go crazyyyy,overprotective isn’t even the word, like if someone looks at her funny he has a knife to their throat. or imagine someone pushes her and she falls and he just beats them to the brink of death
Overwhelming.
A/n: thank you anon for the ask, I love it 🫶
•○🌑○•
"And then– Cassian?" Y/n groaned, realising her mate wasn't walking next to her anymore. She turned, searching for the overgrown bat, and it didn't take long to find him as he towered over everyone.
She made her way through the crowd towards the mouth of a darkened alleyway, where Cassian was furiously whispering something to a male, who was pressed up against the wall.
"I swear to the cauldron–" Her mate was saying when she finally reached them.
"Cassian!" He turned immediately, most of his attention now on her.
"Yes darling?"
She glared at him, hands on her hips. "Let him go."
"But he was looking at you weirdly–"
"I wasn't! I–" The victim in question began, but one look from Cassian had him shutting up, swallowing thickly. A glint at the male's neck caught Y/n's eye, and she realised that Cassian had a knife to his neck.
"I'm pretty sure he wasn't. Let him go."
"But–"
"Cassian." She sighed.
He grumbled but sheathed his knife. The male ran off with a grateful look at Y/n.
"Why would you do–"
"Cassian. Can you please stop doing that? I'm tired." Since he'd found out about her pregnancy two months ago, he'd almost made life living hell. For both Y/n and whoever dared to look at her. It wasn't that she hated it. No, she loved when her mate took care of her. But it was starting to get too much now. And if this was the case when it had only been two months, she couldn't imagine what he'd do for the rest of the term.
He nodded, his head low, shoulders slumped. She sighed before walking up to him and pecking his cheek. He smiled, and they continued on their way.
It had been a long time since the two of them had set foot outside of the home, with him insisting everyone out there was out to get his mate and child, and her not wanting anyone to die at his hands. So she had stayed at home, but she couldn't stay cooped up forever. They were taking a walk around the Rainbow as she told him of the new book she was reading when he cornered the male.
As they now walked on, Y/n spotted an Illyrian male walking towards them, talking to another fae male. She knew his wings would bump into her, so she tried to steer clear of them. But the place was jam packed, and his wings knocked against her shoulder.
Immediately, Cassian was on him, growling and snarling. He punched the guy, who tried to deflect. But one should always steer clear of a protective fae male, let alone an Illyrian, when their partner is pregnant.
The two went down as the people passing by stopped and stared. Some started muttering to each other as heat rose to Y/n's cheeks. She tugged at Cassian's collar, trying to get his attention by calling his name, to no avail.
She took a deep breath and then screeched. "Cassian!"
He stopped immediately, giving the other Illyrian the opportunity to slip from his grasp. He leaned heavily on his friend, looking halfway todeath. He was bruised badly, blood trickling from his nose and mouth as he stared incredulously at the General of the Night Court.
"What the hell?!" He said, glancing at Y/n who gave him an apologetic glance.
"I'm so sorry, he didn't mean to harm you."
"I most certainly did." Cassian snarled, standing and again starting to advance on the Illyrian.
"Cassian, please stop." She pleaded.
"Apologize. Now. You hurt my mate, and you will apologise."
"What?"
"You heard me. I will not repeat myself. Apolo–"
"There is no need to apologise. How can you expect him to ask for forgiveness when you nearly beat him to death?" She glared at her mate, exasperated.
The fae male sniffed the air, then his eyes went round. "Are you pregnant?" The Illyrian turned to her as well while Cassian continued grumbling.
She smiled and nodded.
"I'm so sorry then. I didn't mean to hurt you." The Illyrian smiled.
She shook her head. "Don't worry about it." Turning to cassian, she crossed her arms. "Cassian, say sorry. Please."
"Why me?" He burst out, his eyes wide. Before Y/n couldn't answer though, the Illyrian spoke up.
"There is no need. I understand. I had a similar reaction when my wife was pregnant." He turned away, giving a wave to Y/n before clapping Cassian on the back and walking away. Cassian eyed him until the crowd swallowed him up. Then he turned to Y/n.
"Take me home." He blinked at her demand.
"But didn't you want to spend some time here?"
"I would like to stay locked in the house if you are going to kill every citizen of Velaris for just even breathing the same air as me."
He opened his mouth, but picked her up to fly back when she gave him a look.
•○🌑○•
She hadn't talked to him since they returned, and she was as sad as he was.
The door creaked open, but she stayed lying on her side. She heard his footsteps coming closer, but he didn't climb onto the bed. She waited.
"Do you want me to sleep somewhere else?" His voice sounded so sad, like a kid who knew their parent was angry. She turned to him then.
"Why would I want that?"
"You're angry." His shoulders curved inwards, as if awaiting punishment.
She sighed. "Come here."
She spread her arms, and he climbed onto the bed, his arms going around her as his head rested on her chest. "I'm not angry, love. I just get a little upset when your protective side becomes overwhelming."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be." She told him, stroking his hair. "Just try to control the instincts. Yeah?"
He nodded, and when she glanced at him, she saw that he was pouting. She smiled.
"I love you." She murmured, kissing the top of his head. She flooded the bond with love, receiving the same amount of love that crashed into her soul from his side.
"I love you more. And you too." He mumbled, poking her belly.
She smiled. They talked into the night until sleep claimed them both.
As she drifted off, she knew the child growing in her would be the most loved child in the entirety of Prythian. And her mate would be the best father in the whole world.
Becuase, just like his protectiveness, his love was overwhelming.
•○🌑○•
Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess
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Pregnancy (ft. Poly!Mates Bat Boys)
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Warnings: none
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You’re actually surprised it takes you so long to become pregnant (ya know considering that all three of them just rail into you multiple times a day lol)
When you start feeling like actual shit day in and day out, Rhys had Madja come over to evaluate you
And what do you know! You got a bun in the oven!
Cue your mates happily freaking out that there’s going to be a baby
They don’t even ask or question who the father is in the beginning. It’s too soon to do any paternity tests
Rhysand and Cassian become the nesters; prepping the nursery, hiring a fleet of nannies and guards for the precious heir
There was a dangerous side effect to being pregnant with one of the Bat Boy's babies were the powers it gave you. Hormone induced powers
You were stronger but more cautious around people, even your mates, and easy to snap; all to protect the precious life growing inside you.
Outside of the Inner Circle, no one else knows. Your pregnancy is kept secret for the first few months (though Cass wants to shout from the top of the House of Wind that he’s gonna be a daddy)
This is done mainly because you rue when the lords of the Court of Nightmares find out
The rest of the realm may rejoice, but the Court of Nightmares has always sneered your way and thought of you as a glorified whore
You knew they’d insist immediately on a paternity test. They would not bend the knee to a child that was not of Rhysand’s blood. If the father of your first born happened to be Cassian or Azriel, there could be a fight back
Once news of your pregnancy is released, there was a type of press conference below in the nightmare court
Like all of you predicted, they raise a big stink about paternity
A child of the spy master or the general would not be accepted on the throne
A glimpse of Rhysand's beast form shuts them up. Azriel's shadows aid in emphasizing the massive power they had compared to all of the fae in the room
"Fate destined her as our mate. Whoever the child truly belongs to is inconsequential. Any child birthed from her is worthy of the Night Court throne."
When Azriel isn’t doing work for Rhysand, he is glued to your side or has a shadow following you. He’s especially concerned since he heard talk of murdering you and your unborn baby. A threat like that would not be taken lightly.
All three of your mates love placing their hands on your belly, anticipating a reaction from the baby
Cassian is determined to get the baby to kick for him
I think they would just become puddly, mushy, dads to be.
The Bat Boys wish their respective mothers were alive to share in this joy
Because their big boys, unfortunately that means your baby will be a big one if the size of your tummy was any indication
Midnight snackies provided by the Wraiths without prompting. They know all of your favorite foods
Amren bets the baby belongs to Rhys
Mor thinks its Az
You actually bet it’s Cass’ due to how active the baby is. Constantly kicking you and the funny fact that the baby would REFUSE to kick against Cassian’s hand. Az and Rhys have gotten the baby to kick for them
When the baby has grown large enough inside of you, a paternity test is conducted just for the sake of the Inner Circle's curiosity. You don't want to know the results. Besides, once the baby is born, you'll know.
The dreams you'd been having recently were of a small boy, a mix of features that came from each of your mates. Rhysand's eyes. Cassian's unruly, long hair. Azriel's massive wings that had whisps of shadows clinging to them.
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Practice On Me — Part Seven — Azriel x Reader
Note: I hope you enjoy this part because I’m not overly happy with how it’s written, I don’t know why 😭probably just me being a DUMBASS. Also, it’s still not letting me tag some of you 😩anyone know why?
Summary: The Bat Boys are worried about reader. Cassian’s getting a little suspicious of Kaeda. Azriel is really, really missing his friend.
Word count: 7k.
Warnings: Some injury detail.
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“He cannot do this. Surely, he cannot fucking do this.”
Azriel slams his fist on the table so hard that ale sloshes over the lip of a mug. The atmosphere in the mead hall is unusually calm tonight. There’s more laughter than arguing, and some dickhead with a lute is even providing the attendants with music. But at the centre table, a cloud of doom darkens the mood.
Everyone has wisely given Rhys, Cassian and Azriel a wide berth.
Tensions are high. Something’s got to give.
“His role in this camp is to oversee our training.” Az balls his fists. “Not to get involved with how we spend our time outside of it.” He eyes Cass and Rhys opposite him. “Right?”
“Technically, yes.” Rhys confirms. “But as the overseer of said training, he also has the authority to remove any distractions as he sees fit.”
“Distractions? She’s our friend, not a fucking toy—”
“I’m just putting it to you straight, Az. It’s the typical Illyrian attitude rearing its ugly head. All four of us made the decision to go to Fenlaros, and yet it’s the female who shoulders the blame.”
“It’s fucking ridiculous.” Cassian finally speaks up.
He hasn’t said much. Too busy thinking about last night.
Nobody knows a thing about that wild, impulsive fuck except him and Y/N. He plans to keep it that way. Not out of any sense of regret, but…he doesn’t know. His brain is ticking over.
He can’t help wondering something that’s never occurred to him before.
Is Y/N branded a certain way by Illyrian ideologies because the closest people to her are males? Has she unfairly gained a reputation — one that would be made worse if what she and Cassian had done became common knowledge?
He doesn’t want to be the reason she gets more shit thrown her way. He’s starting to think he should think harder before he acts. Maybe last night was a mistake. He can’t even see Y/N to talk it through with her.
“So what do we do?” Az is asking as Cass zones back in. “There’s got to be something. Do we take the matter to your father?”
Rhys cocks an eyebrow. “Be real for a second, Az. My father would laugh us out of Velaris. He doesn’t concern himself with trivial camp matters.”
“Y/N having to choose between an abusive household or perishing in the snow is not a trivial matter.”
“To him, it is. He’d tell Devlon to lead and do what he believes is right. Which, he already has, even if we don’t agree with it.”
“Well that’s bullshit. We can’t just lie down and do nothing—”
“I’m not saying that, Az—”
“What about your mother? She adores Y/N. Surely she could appeal to your father—”
“No. She’s pregnant. She stays out of this.”
“Then what do you suggest, Rhysand?”
“How about you start by explaining to Cass and I what’s gotten into you recently?”
Finally, Az has nothing to say. He goes silent. Still.
He stares back at his two friends like he can’t imagine why they would wonder such a thing.
And then he purses his lips. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Cassian scoffs. “Please. Even I think you starting fights left and right has been extreme.”
“Fuck you. You’re totally exaggerating.”
Rhysand raises an eyebrow. “If you say so.”
“I do.”
“We’re just worried that your behaviour has changed since Kaeda came into the picture—”
“You know what I’m worried about?” Az snaps. “Our friend who is literally homeless as of this morning. That’s a little more important, don’t you think?”
Yes…and no. It’s not that Cassian and Rhys don’t agree. It’s just that…that all roads lead back to Kaeda. And that’s becoming a problem.
“We’re not just going to leave Y/N to deal with this alone, Az.” Rhys tells him. “We just need to be careful about how we deal with it. Devlon isn’t messing around. I don’t want us to cause her more trouble.”
As folds his arms. “So what do you suggest?”
“I’ll talk to Y/N’s friend — Vegha. I’m sure she can open her home to Y/N while we figure things out. Just don’t do anything impulsive or stupid.”
That seems to appease Az a little. He sits back in his chair — allows himself to be a bit more open.
Until Cass totally fucking ruins it and says, “And don’t go starting any more fights just to impress Kaeda.”
Az says again, “Fuck you.”
Cass returns a withering look. “Fuck you right back.”
“Productive.” Rhys comments, shaking his head. He pushes to his feet, and both his friends look round.
“Where are you going?” Az asks.
“To speak with Vegha.” Rhys tells him. “And don’t follow me. You two idiots will only make things worse.”
He has no idea how right he is.
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
It starts with the fire going out. Always.
The door swings open hard enough to hit the wall, and freezing air envelops the place. Your father tracks snow into the house, and he smells so strongly of booze that it permeates the room and spreads like a sickness.
You are five years old. You like to draw things in the soot that coats the fireplace. You don’t like green apples, but red ones aren’t so bad. The house always feels untidy since mama stole away in the dead of night a year ago. You try to keep on top of the cleaning, but the damp and the cold makes your hands sore, your bones ache.
Every night, you sit with your hands in your lap and wait for your father to return home. If he’s coming back from the forge, he’s tired and in a bad mood. If he’s coming back from the mead hall or a tavern, he’s drunk and in a really bad mood.
Tonight is the latter. But not only is he drunk and in a bad mood — he’s also brought company.
Four other males. They’re all huge — too huge to fit into the house, you think. If they’ve come for food, there isn’t any. If they’ve come for comfort, there isn’t any of that, either.
But they’re looking at you, all four of them. And in some way, you know that it’s you they’ve come for.
“This is the one?” A male with reddish-brown hair asks.
“I have only one.” Your father answers, and he jerks a chin in your direction. “That is it.”
It.
“Scrawny. There’s barely anything of her.” A second male comments. “This won’t be difficult.”
“I always think that,” reddish-brown answers, “and then they start fighting back. Kicking and scratching.”
You may only be five, but you are not foolish. Something is very, very wrong. A sinister wave has swept your already-miserable home, and you are about to be swallowed up in it. You eye the four males with wide eyes and scoot back a little.
Reddish-brown is the leader. He folds his arms with an authoritative air and announces, “Pathorn and Yevmael can hold her down,” he turns to the second male, “you take one wing, and I’ll take the other.”
The male that steps towards you from the back has eyes as black as the soot in the hearth. His lips twitch up on one side, and he says, “Come here, then, little pup.”
You do not move.
“Come.” He repeats. “It won’t hurt…much.”
They laugh at that.
You tuck your dirty, bruised knees tightly into your chest and rest your chin atop of them. You say nothing, make no move.
“Oh for fuck’s sake.” His friend at the back says, stalking over to you. “Just pick her up.”
He does exactly that — by the scruff of your neck. You yelp as he yanks you into the air, and on instinct, your arms are flailing, legs kicking, tiny wings flaring.
“Look at that.” Charcoal eyes sneers at those very wings. “It’s a fucking abomination.”
If this is a game, you don’t like it. You twist in the male’s grasp, try to wriggle free, and he growls a curse at you. You growl back — a fierce, fierce noise, you think. It makes the males laugh again.
“On the table.” Reddish-brown says. “Face-down.”
“Papa,” you fight, “papa, papa, papa.”
There comes no response. It’s then that you realise he’s removed himself from the room. Left you with these monsters.
“Quiet now, pup.” Charcoal eyes says. “This won’t take long.”
You want to scratch him, and you try, even though your nails are chewed and bitten, despite mama always telling you not to do that. But mama isn’t here now and neither is papa. It’s just strangers with angry faces. Strangers who want to hurt you.
You’re slammed down onto the table, and you let out a cry. Someone holds your legs down. Another person holds your arms.
You are five years old. You like to draw pictures in the soot that covers the fireplace. You don’t like green apples, but red ones aren’t so bad. You are utterly and totally alone.
“I hope you never thought about flying.” Reddish-brown steps up to you. “That day will never come.”
And then they begin hacking at your wings.
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
Your father takes you to a healer only when it’s almost too late. A fever scorches you head to toe. You think that mama returns to sit by your bedside, but that isn’t real. It’s a dream.
You’re too weak. You sleep fitfully on your front, because trembles wrack your body that continuously wake you up. You jerk every time the pain at your back gets too much.
The door opens, and you wonder if mama is returning again. You like that dream. But it’s your father, accompanied by the male who has been leaning over your weakened body for days.
“Will she live?” Your father asks.
“She will.” The healer tells him. “If she can fight off the infection.”
“Can’t you just give her a tonic, or something?”
“This is the worst wing clipping I have ever seen. There are ample healers in Illyria who are qualified to carry out the practice. What possessed you to instead leave her in the hands of a group of soldiers?”
“I will do with my child as I see fit.”
“You may no longer have a child, if she cannot fight this. Her life hangs in the balance.”
Your father makes a noise that sounds like a growl. He does that when you’re in his way, and he just wants to sit quietly without you lingering around him. “Give her a fucking tonic—”
“If she survives this,” the healer tells him, “she will be scarred and in pain for the rest of her life. You did not merely clip her wings. You butchered them. This is precisely why a healer should be the one to perform the procedure—”
Your body jerks with a fresh wave of pain, and you whimper. Both your father and the healer look over at you.
Your father’s lip curls, and he turns to the male once more. “Fix her.” He commands. “Because if you can’t, you’re helping me bury the body.”
No. The males will come back and put their hands on you again. They’ll bury a body. They’ll bury your body. They’re going to bury you. Soil will fall on your ruined wings, and when mama truly does come back, she’ll have only an unmarked grave to greet you at.
You try to move, but you’re strapped down. You whimper again.
Bury the body.
Bury the body.
Bury the—
Your body lurches up.
Sweat slicks your skin. You press a hand to your forehead, but it’s cool, not burdened by fever. You’ve awoken like this every morning for the past week.
The dreams are burdening you a lot right now. The memories.
They remind you, at least, why you will not return to your father’s home. Even if you end up hunching yourself up in doorways and exhausting any other dire options.
You hear a noise from the doorway, and you rub the bleariness from your eyes. Illuminated by the dim light in the hall, a male leans against the doorframe. He watches you nonchalantly, biting into an apple. Green, not red.
“You were shouting in your sleep again.”
You heave a deep, slow sigh and rake your fingers through your hair. Sweat soaks the strands.
“You dream often about burying bodies, don’t you?” The male steps into the room. He flares his wings, and you try not to look at them. “You’re quite odd. I think I like it.”
“Get out, Markis.” You sigh again. “Stop watching me sleep. It’s strange.”
“Is it more or less strange than chanting about burying a body?” He smirks. “And you’re in my house, remember? You can’t tell me to get out.”
“Yeah, well, it’s my house, too, and I can.” Suddenly, Vegha is appearing. She swats her younger brother, and a slither of relief settles into you. “Stop bugging her, Markis. Go to the training rings, or something.”
Markis so clearly doesn’t want to leave. He eyes you, his gaze falling from your neck, down to the old, threadbare sweater that you’ve been sleeping in. It’s Azriel’s — still smells like him.
The intensity of the male’s gaze is uncomfortable. And after a week of tolerating it, you’re not sure you can any longer.
“Fine.” He swallows down a bite of apple. He sends you a leering smirk. “I’ll tell your friends you said hello.”
Vegha rolls her eyes. “Markis, just leave before I boil your entire head—
“I’m going, I’m going.”
The male strides out of the room, shooting you one last look over his shoulder. You should ignore it, because the idiot is just basking in the novelty of having a female under his roof that he’s not related to, but the discomfort has sunk itself under your skin, and you’re not sure you can live with it.
Which is a bit of a problem, considering there are no other avenues for you to explore, and have nowhere else to go.
Vegha shuts the door behind her brother and turns to you. “You slept fitfully again.”
“Yes.” You feel a little bad admitting it. It’s not her, nor her family home, nor the bed that’s the problem. It’s you. All you. “I have a lot on my mind.”
“Of course, you do. I wish there was more I could do to help.”
“You’ve done more than enough, Vegha.”
She doesn’t look convinced. The worried streak in her eyes is an indicator of how terrible you look. And you know she’s just caring for you as your friend, but you can’t stand it. One more pitying glance may push you over the edge.
“I have to get to the crèche.” She tells you. “Can I get you anything before I leave?”
“No—thank you.” You sit up. “Listen…I won’t be here when you return home. I’m getting out of your hair today.”
She pauses. Studies you. “You’re not in my hair. You’re welcome to stay for as long as you need. Ignore Markis — he’s a cock.”
You breathe a soft laugh. But you can’t ignore Markis — not any longer. Just as you haven’t been able to ignore any of the males who have made the past week even more difficult than it already was.
Illyrian males are…are a sickness. They’re bred in violence and depravity. So few of them are good.
And if the past week without Azriel, Rhys and Cassian has taught you anything, it’s that to some degree, your exposure to such behaviours has always been muted, thanks to their protection. They’ve been a strong unit around you since you were eleven years old. Most males have been wise enough to steer clear and escape the wrath that would come down on them for messing with you.
But now you’re forbidden from seeing them, and you’re free game for any fucking male in this gods-forsaken place.
You need to be away from them. To be on your own.
“I know.” You answer Vegha. “And I appreciate you opening your home to me, I really do. But it’s fine — I’ve made other arrangements.”
The look she gives you is dubious. She doesn’t believe you, and rightfully so — it’s total bullshit. “You have?”
“I have.” You dip your chin. “I’ll be just fine.”
“…well I’m glad to hear it. You’ll come right back here if those plans fall through, right?”
“Of course I will.” No.
She hesitates at the door. She’s been nothing but kind and accommodating to you — a real friend.
But it’s bad enough not being able to escape the males that haunt your dreams. There’s a damn good reason for you staunchly refusing to return to your father. You will not swap one monster for another.
“I’ll see you soon, then.” Vegha studies you. There’s a sadness in her brown eyes. She genuinely cares. “Take care, Y/N.”
“I will.” You force a breezing smile. “And you, also.”
She inclines her head, and then she’s slipping out of the room. The silence only gives way for your too-near dreams to dig their claws in. You scrub your hands harshly over your face and push to your feet.
You don’t know where you’ll go. It’s tempting to ignore Lord Devlon’s warning and race back to the cottage. Drama may await you there — a total mess that you somewhat made for yourself — but at least you’d be warm and safe while facing it.
You can’t — you know you can’t. You don’t want Az or Cass or Rhys to face any consequences.
So after you get yourself ready and gather what little stuff you have, you head out into the snow and hope you won’t be sleeping in it that night.
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
Azriel strikes at the sparring dummy as if it fucked his wife and stole his seat at the dinner table.
The damn things are supposed to be bolted to the ground, but a couple of bolts are no match against the fearsome shadowsinger.
He strikes and strikes until the object is more or less obliterated, because fuck the sparring dummy, that’s why. Fuck the sparring dummy, and fuck Lord Devlon, and fuck—
“I think you made your point.” A trilling voice cuts through his red mist of rage. “How about you set the sword down and have some water?”
Perhaps it’s just Azriel’s anger thinking for him, but he doesn’t feel that Kaeda has been particularly helpful from where she’s perched atop a smooth rock. She cleans her nails with the tip of a dagger and stretches her wings out around her.
Across the ring, Cassian watches and turns to Rhysand. “Why is she allowed to be here, but Y/N isn’t?”
Rhys shrugs his tense shoulders. He doesn’t know the answer.
The two of them step closer to where their brother is trying to breathe through his fury. He’s not coping so well.
See, Azriel has experience with missing things. He misses his mother all the time. Sometimes it’s a dull ache, manageable amongst the mundane comings and goings of life. Other times, it hurts so bad that he doesn’t think clawing his chest open would be too extreme a reaction. Missing a person is a sensation that knits itself under his skin and seeps into the marrow of his bones. It’s relentless and hideous.
Missing Y/N is a new kind of torture he never contemplated having to face.
It’s not just that he’s worried about where she is, whether or not she’s safe and well. It’s that he misses the silliest, tiniest things about her that he didn’t even know he’d ever noticed in the first damn place. The rapt determination with which she cuts the crusts off her bread because that’s a little too much bread for her. The way she gestures wildly with her hands whilst passionately talking about things. That ruined, tattered journal she carries around in which she scrawls blunt, one-sentenced, sometimes unintelligible thoughts. And her scent — gods, her scent.
It has been one week — an amount of time he’s spent away from her before. But it’s different this time. This isn’t like being away on a training exercise and knowing he’ll soon be coming home. He knows nothing. Doesn’t even know what to think, what to feel.
Other than an overt urge to murder the camp lord. Violently.
“How about we get done here and head to the mead hall?” Kaeda breaks through his warring thoughts. “I’m starved.”
Az grabs a nearby rag, wiping the sweat from his face. “Not really hungry.”
There’s a pause. And then a soft sigh leaves the female. She sheathes her blade and pushes to her feet, just as Rhys and Cassian are approaching. “I mean this in the nicest way possible, Azriel, but you can’t be visiting my father with this attitude.”
At once, this grabs the other two males’ interests, and Azriel wants to groan. Right. He’d forgotten about that.
“What’s this?” Rhys frowns, staring between Az and Kaeda. “You’re returning to Fenlaros?”
“My father invited Azriel to dine with us, that’s all.” Kaeda answers for him.
It had genuinely slipped Azriel’s mind. Amongst everything else waging war in his thoughts, a dinner with Kaeda’s family in Fenlaros had sunk right to the bottom.
But he knows immediately how it looks. That he’s being secretive.
Rhys studies Azriel closely. “And you’ve cleared this with Devlon?”
No, no he hadn’t. Quite simply, he’s not sure he can be within twenty feet of the bastard, right now, without throttling him.
He hates himself for it — he really, truly does. But for the sake of sparing himself a lecture, he shrugs. “I have.”
He does not lie to his brothers. And they can smell that lie on him right away.
Cassian stares at Kaeda for a long moment, before turning towards Az. “That is a fucking terrible idea, and you know it.”
“It’s dinner.” Kaeda shoots back.
Cass grits his teeth. “I’m talking to Azriel.”
“Listen, Cassian—”
“Excuse me—I’m sorry to interrupt.”
All four of them turn in the direction of the intrusion —and they stop short.
All three of the males know Vegha, of course. Rhys was grateful that she’d so willingly opened her home to Y/N when he’d asked. But other than that, they’ve only spoken to her in passing — she’s never had reason to seek them out before.
But what adds a slither of urgency to her rare appearance at the training rings is the even rarer appearance of the two little girls who hold her hands. They’re not supposed to be here, and Vegha knows this well.
She obviously deemed whatever this is urgent enough to bypass that rule.
“Vegha.” Azriel steps forward, studying her closely. “Is all well?”
Vegha shifts on her feet, clutching tighter onto the girls’ hands. She’s never comfortable here, around all these males, but it’s a different unwanted attention that makes her want to turn and leave.
Kaeda eyes her head to toe with a look of distaste. Of mistrust. She folds her arms and flares her wings — a gesture that has the little girls gasping.
“Settle down.” Vegha squeezes their hands. She directs her attention back to the males. Strange, that she feels more comfortable with them than she does with the only other female present. “Honestly, Azriel, I’m not at all sure.”
Rhys steps forward. “Is it Y/N?”
Cassian swears — swears — that a small sigh comes from behind him. From Kaeda.
“I know you’ve been instructed to stay away, and I don’t wish to cause you any trouble.” Vegha tells them. “It’s just…well, she was staying at my home this past week, as you asked, Rhysand. I told her she was welcome for as long as she needs — that she mustn’t return to her father’s house. But just this morning, she suddenly announced that she was leaving…that she’d found somewhere else to stay.”
“And?” The word slips from Kaeda’s lips.
Yeah, Cass definitely isn’t in the mood for this today.
“And…and I’m not sure I believe her.” Vegha shrugs slowly. “My brother wasn’t exactly making it a pleasant stay, and I think she was desperate to get out of there. But I can’t imagine where she’d go. I just…thought I should tell you. You know her better than I do.”
True — except her three closest friends can’t imagine where she’d go, either, if not back to her father’s house. And they can’t imagine her resorting to that.
She has no money for a room at an inn. She doesn’t have a long list of friends who will open their homes up to her. And she most certainly can’t go back to Rhys’s mother’s cottage.
So…where? Will she pitch up in one of the abandoned tents across the camp? Will she spend her nights shivering in doorways and wondering where her next meal is coming from?
This is fucking ridiculous.
She can’t be left to live like this.
“You did the right thing, telling us.” Rhys reassures Vegha. He offers a gentle, soft smile to the girls at her sides. “How about you take these two back into the warm? We’ll deal with it.”
Gods, he’s already a High Lord through and through. Calm in the face of turmoil. Not letting on to his inner panic.
Vegha dips her chin. “Sorry, again, for interrupting.” She tugs gently at the children’s’ hands. “Come, girls.”
Rhysand’s brow furrows. Vegha is perhaps the only other good friend Y/N has in this place. There’s no way she’s made other arrangements — Rhys knows it. Cassian knows it. Azriel knows it.
“We’ve got to do something.” Azriel voices what they’re all thinking, a feral panic colouring his tone. “We can’t just leave her to face this on her own. Fuck what Devlon says. I’m not sitting back and letting her freeze or starve to death.”
Rhys chews his lip. “…I can try to speak with my father. But I’m not hopeful where he’s concerned. This falls under Devlon’s jurisdiction.”
“All Y/N needs is a roof over her head and some food in her belly until we can work out what to do next.” Cassian crosses his arms over his chest. “There’s got to be some way we can help. Is there not any clue of where she might go?”
The two males are looking at Az expectantly. If anyone knows, it’s him.
But he’s just…he’s not had his eye on the ball recently. His thoughts are all over the place. Perhaps he’s neglected his friendships a little — because he could swear he knows Y/N inside and out, and yet his mind is blank. Utterly fucking blank.
“I—I need to think.” He runs a hand through his hair, turning — he stops at the flash of red hair that meets him. He’d forgotten Kaeda was even there.
She stares between them, saying nothing, her face pinched and arms crossed. What she’s thinking, Az isn’t sure. But a thought suddenly strikes him.
“Kaeda.” He faces her properly. “Can’t you house Y/N in Fenlaros for the time being? Until this is sorted?”
Kaeda stops short. Blinks at him. “…What?”
“It doesn’t have to be your home, or…or even anything extravagant. Just somewhere she can sleep. There are surely more options in Fenlaros than there are here.”
Kaeda does not like this one bit. A negative reaction is rippling off her in waves, and it hits Cassian like a blast of cold air. Rhys, too.
But Az seems oblivious.
“Azriel…” The female keeps her voice calm, measured. “You know it isn’t that easy. A person can’t just…defect to another camp.”
“She wouldn’t—”
“So what’s your excuse?” The words are falling from Cassian’s lips before he can stop himself. He’s not sure he cares.
Kaeda pauses. Her face is a sheet of wide-eyed innocence as she turns to him. “Pardon me?”
Cass shrugs one shoulder. “You’ve been buzzing around here for months like a fly. What’s your excuse, if that’s not allowed? Because your father may be Lord of Fenlaros, sweetheart, and he may let you do whatever you want, but look around you. This is Windhaven. His word doesn’t mean shit here.”
Azriel takes a step towards him. “Cassian—”
“Either help our friend, or stay the fuck out of it—”
“Cassian, that is enough—”
“It’s fine, Azriel.” Kaeda’s voice is so deceptively warm, you could melt butter on it. She steps towards Cassian, face open, hands held up in a placating manner. “It’s fine. You’re right. I understand you’re upset, and I…I apologise if my presence here has been burdensome. Of course I’ll help any way that I can. I’ll talk to my father right away.”
Cass doesn’t feel particularly satisfied by that. Doesn’t believe a fucking word, to be honest. His eyes communicate that as he stares the female up and down.
“Cass, I think you should apologise.” Azriel says.
He barks a laugh. “No chance.”
“Kaeda just said she’d help—”
“Enough.” Rhys finally jumps in. His tone is laced with authority — just a smidgen of an idea of what he might one day be like as High Lord. He crosses his arms and glares the three of them down as though they’re bickering younglings. “Arguing back and forth will do nothing to help Y/N. We need to act. I will speak to my father. Kaeda will speak to hers. Az, you should see if you can find out where Y/N might have gone. Cass, I want you making sure she doesn’t go anywhere near her fucking father’s house. By the end of the day, we should have at least sorted something. Understood?”
Cass doesn’t look away from Kaeda. He can see her eye twitching — the way she so desperately wants to push back against being ordered. Gods, how Az can’t see right through her, he has no clue—
“Understood.” Azriel answers without hesitation. “I’ll get right on it.”
Rhys inclines his head. “As will I.”
“And I’ll head back to Fenlaros.” Kaeda adds.
Cassian merely shrugs. “Fine.”
Without goodbyes, Azriel is shooting into the skies — probably hoping to get an aerial view of a sodden, freezing Y/N traipsing through the snow.
Rhys looks between Cassian and Kaeda for a beat longer before he disappears, winnowing — Cass assumes — straight to Velaris.
And then there were two.
Kaeda turns back to Cass. The doe-eyed look on her face is instantly gone. There’s a hint of a damn smirk.
“Whatever game you’re playing at,” Cassian clenches his jaw. “You will not win.”
A soft hiccup of a laugh escapes the redhead. “Oh, yes I will.” She steps closer. Close enough for her cotton-and-powder scent to envelop the male. “See, I always get what I want. Always.”
“Not this time. Azriel may not see you for the viper that you are, but I do.” He grits his teeth. “And I will fucking destroy you before you cause any damage.”
Green eyes glitter back at him. The female is unperturbed by the threat — and she knows he means it. There’s even a change in her scent that makes Cassian’s nostrils flare. A darker one. A muskier one.
“Oh, Cassian, I do hope so.” She says, and pushes up so her lips are at his ear. Her full breasts brush his chest. “I love a male who’s willing to punish me.”
She winnows away before the snarl has a chance to claw up Cassian’s throat.
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
This is starting to feel like a bad idea.
It was easy, from the warmth and comfort of Vegha’s home, to convince yourself you’d be fine out amongst the wilds of the camp. But the old armoury is dark, dingy and cold, and within hours, you’re not sure you have the resolve for a single night there. Let alone however many you have ahead of you.
This used to be a place of mischief, when you and your friends were children. This far end of the camp has sat abandoned and unused for years, after newer, more effective training rings were installed where the hub of activity now lays. The four of you would spend days here, playing pretend with the old, wooden practice swords that were left behind. You’d make up stories of the area being haunted by the ghost of an ancient, disgruntled Camp Lord. And as you got older, it became a place to come and get drunk, to speak words and secrets that remained there, never to be carried away with you.
You won’t be bothered here, you know — nobody ventures this way. But that, and the fact that the old armoury affords you a roof over your head, are about the only positives. You’re so cold that it hurts. You’re hungry and miserable and tired in a way that has nothing to do with nightmare-filled sleeps.
And gods, you miss your friends. You miss them so much, it‘s a gnawing ache. All those nights you took for granted, tucked up warm in the cottage, Cassian making you all laugh with his antics. Those times seem so distant, now. Is this how it will be, from now on? Never did you think you’d be separated from your friends. And you don’t even know if this is a permanent thing. Will you have to wait and wait until Rhysand is High Lord and able to make decisions, before you can see them again?
These thoughts will do you no good. They’ll only make you colder and drive you to shed tears that you’re not sure you have the energy to shed.
You bundle in your blanket, squeezing your eyes shut as though that fruitless act will shield you from the cold. You were tempted to build a fire, but the last thing you want is to draw attention from anyone flying above. Being found in here will just bring you more trouble you don’t need.
You’re already hunched as it is, gloved hands buried under your armpits — but you somehow manage to tense even more when you hear the distinct sound of boots traipsing through the snow outside.
No.
You can’t do this — not right now. Nobody fucking comes here. Is the Mother laughing at you from above and sprinkling more misfortune into your already-dire existence? You can’t handle a confrontation, can’t handle being told you can’t stay here—
But the door creaks open, and it’s Azriel’s face that peers around cautiously. You almost sob with relief.
“Thank fuck.” He breathes. He’s slipping inside, shutting the door behind him. In a few great strides, he’s in front of you and dropping to his knees. “Are you alright?”
If you speak, you might crack. You risk it all the same. “How did you find me?”
“Took me a while to think of this place, I must admit. It’s been a long while since we were last here.”
But find you, he did. And fuck, his scent and natural warmth are swarming you. It feels like nothing else matters right then. Just you and him, like it’s always been. He yanks you into a hug, and you don’t stop him.
“You’re frozen.” He whispers, squeezing you. His gloved hands rub at your arms, your back, your shoulders. He pulls away to cup your face, and he studies every inch of it. You’re not sure what for.
But you stare back. You don’t know what to do or say. That could be the cold making it difficult to think, or it could be this weird wedge between you that feels like it’s only growing.
Az leans closer, and he presses his forehead against yours. “I miss you.” His gloves brush over your cheeks. “Gods, I miss you. So much.”
“I miss you, too.” You shudder. The words are weighty and truthful, not just referring to this past week apart, but to whatever has been going on for a while, now. You didn’t mean for it to be like this. You just want to go back to how it was.
“I’ve thought about nothing else—” His nose bumps against yours, and one of his hands slides to the nape of your neck, kneading the skin there. “I just—just need you close to me, Y/N. Always.”
You attempt a breathy laugh. “I don’t think Devlon would agree with that.”
“Fuck, Devlon. We’re going to get around this. Rhys is going to talk to his father, and even if that fails, Kaeda is talking to hers. I reckon they’ll be able to offer you sanctuary in Fenlaros until this is sorted—”
You pull back to blink at him. Study him. “What?”
“I asked Kaeda to speak with her father on your behalf. To see if they can find somewhere for you to stay. I’m sure they can—”
“Azriel, I’m not going to Fenlaros.”
He pauses. “…If they’ll have you, Y/N, yes you are. It means you’ll be safe and warm and fed—”
“No.”
“What? Why?”
“Besides the fact that I’m already in enough trouble thanks to that place?” You pull away from him, easing to your feet. “I don’t know anyone there. And if Devlon were to find out—”
“Stop worrying about Devlon and start worrying about your safety.” Azriel, too, stands. “It’s the most logical thing.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“Y/N.”
“I’m not going further away from you than I already am, and I’m especially not going to start playing house with your lover, Azriel, it’s odd—”
“That’s what this is about?” He cocks an eyebrow. Folds his arms. “Because you don’t want to accept help from Kaeda?”
You shrug. And just…just to give your body something to do, you begin pacing. “I’m not sure it would be very helpful at all.”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You just don’t like her, do you?” He snaps. The sound is harsh, and it makes you grit your teeth. “You’re not willing to accept help that you so clearly fucking need, because you don’t like Kaeda.”
“I don’t trust Kaeda.” You whirl around to face him. “Not one fucking bit, and you shouldn’t, either.”
“Why?”
“Because none of it makes sense! Why is she here in Windhaven, Azriel? What is it she actually wants?”
It’s dangerous — the way your voices are rising in volume and echoing around the armoury. But it’s as though weeks of emotional buildup are floating to the surface, and you can’t stop them, and they’re stoking an anger that actually warms you and feels better than being cold and hungry.
Azriel shakes his head. “You’re fucking impossible sometimes, you know that? You don’t want to help yourself. It’s like you’re determined to make your life as difficult as possible, and when you’re offered help, you don’t take it. You’re impossible!”
“Yeah, Azriel, maybe I am.” You snap back. “But at least I’m not lying through my teeth like Kaeda is, and at least I don’t break my damn promises.”
Azriel stops short. Stares at you.
You and he both know you’re referring to Solstice Night. You should have confronted it before, but…but you buried it.
You’re not sure you can do that anymore.
Azriel purses his lips. And then has the nerve to state, “Things are different between you and I these days.”
“Yes.” You stare back at him. “They are.”
Your eyes are trying to communicate so much. Things are different, and it might be the boundaries you crossed, but you’re more certain than anything that it’s Kaeda’s influence. You just don’t understand why Azriel can’t see it.
You wonder what he might say yet. So much anger and pent-up frustration zips between you. Mixed with longing and missing each other. Loving each other. Wanting to scream at each other, and for each other.
And part of you wants him to spit vicious words and fight back, just for you to feel something — even though you know that’s not Azriel’s style. But you stare and stare, and neither of you speak, and then Az is shaking his head and clenching his jaw.
“I’m not arguing with you here.” He says. “It’ll only draw attention to us.”
You fold your arms. “Fine.”
“I’m going to speak to Rhys, find out what his father said. And I’ll speak to Kaeda—”
“Go right ahead. I’m still not stepping foot back in Fenlaros—”
“And I’ll bring you some blankets and food. Or Cassian will. Or…whatever.” He stops still for a second, swallowing. “But we need to fix this shit between us.”
You know that. But you’re so fucking stubborn, your own worst enemy. And right then, you want to scream. Cry. Hurt him how he hurt you.
So you say nothing. You just shrug again.
He stares, as if waiting for a better reaction. And then he shakes his head once more and turns, striding back to the door. You wonder if it’s a bad thing to let him go, like this. When will you see him again? How will things be when you see him again? You’re making it worse for yourself, for him, for both of you.
You open your mouth — to say what, you’re not sure. But you’re stopped by Az pausing with his hand on the doorknob. With his back to you, his shoulders tense. He’s frozen in place.
And then he speaks — growls — two words. “Fuck this.”
He turns, marching back over to you so fast, you don’t have time to react.
And then he’s grabbing your face, and his mouth is on yours.
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quinzzelx · 5 months
Text
Shadows and Starlight
Part 3
Azriel x Fem!Reader
Summary: You and Azriel finally get it on.
Chapter 01 // Chapter 02
Word Count: 7K Oh lord
Warnings: This is pure filth! 18+ NSFW content. Explicit sexual content. Fluff! This can be read as a stand-alone if you don't want to read the first two parts- I'd still recommend reading the first two chapters. I have not proofread this yet!! There might be reoccurring words, weird sentences and/or grammar issues. I will do this as soon as I can.
A/N: Oh DAMN!! I popped this out in no time! This had me feeling some ways while writing. I am still so overwhelmed by the positive feedback I've received. You guys have honestly no idea how much this means to me. Sooooo, I really do hope you enjoy this! Let me know what you think, always happy about feedback.
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The satin sheets felt cool and smooth between your fingers as you fisted them with your hands. Cauldron, you had fought battles before, wars even, but right now with the way Azriel hovered over you, you knew you stood no chance. Whatever he wanted, you would yield to him, give it to him, everything, your whole being entirely. Only the moon’s light and the bright flashes of the falling stars outside illuminated the room. “How long?” The question left him with a slow exhale, voice raspy and strained.
Your heart was pounding with such favor and strength, so loud that you barely could hear what he just said, the question he had just asked. “What?” A yelp left your kiss-bruised lips when you felt his hands move to your thighs, squeezing them and yanking you forward a bit so that you sat at the edge of the bed, his bed. Every bit of air left your lungs then as he slowly bent over from his position standing in front of you, leaning over your flustered form. He gripped your chin, tilting it upwards gently to catch your eyes with his. “How long have you known for?” He clarified, eyes narrowing slightly at the possibilities of why you wouldn’t have told him earlier. Maybe you did not want him. Maybe your heart already belonged to someone else.
There was no anger in his voice as he spoke to you. “Just now.” You gasp when you feel the hand holding your chin up slightly wrap around your throat, his thumb brushing over your pulse point lightly. While his grip was strong enough to keep you still, head still tilted up to look at him, it was gentle, soft. One of your own hands found their way over the one wrapped around your neck. Hazel trailed down to watch where yours now clasped his, watching as your throat bobbed while you swallowed. He wanted to groan at the way you were looking at him when his eyes met yours again.
“Was that what you wanted to tell me before Feyre interrupted you?” His brows furrowed slightly when you shook your head lightly, as much as shaking your head was possible with his hand wrapped around your throat. You bit your lower lip slightly, breathing heavily. “No. It only snapped shortly after you kissed me.” Azriel found himself captivated by the way your chest rose and fell with every ragged breath you took. Captivated by how his hand felt wrapped around your throat, how it felt every time you swallowed, and how fast your heart was beating.
“I wanted to tell you how helplessly in love I am with you.” Your voice was shaky, mind clouded by the intensity of your emotions. Azriel shut his eyes then, letting his forehead fall to yours. In the charged silence that followed your confession, Azriel's grip on your throat tightened ever so slightly, a primal instinct surging within him at the vulnerability of your admission. His breath came out in short, ragged bursts, his chest rising and falling in tandem with yours as he struggled to process the weight of your words.
When he finally opened his eyes, the molten gold of his gaze bore into yours with a fierce intensity, as if searching for the truth hidden within the depths of your soul. "You have no idea what you do to me," he whispered hoarsely, his voice thick with emotion. With a shaky exhale, you leaned into his touch, the heat of his body searing against your skin. "I need you, Azriel," you confessed, your voice barely more than a whisper. "More than I've ever needed anything in my life."
Guided by pure need and longing, his lips crashed against yours once more, capturing your lips with his in a heated kiss. For months, he had wrestled with the forbidden fantasies that tormented his mind, visions of your body pressed against his, of the intoxicating taste of your lips against his own. The longing had gnawed at him, a relentless ache that he could neither place nor explain. Despite his best efforts to bury his feelings for you deep within his soul, they had persisted, growing stronger with each passing day until they became an undeniable force that drove him to the brink of madness. He had spent countless nights hating himself for thinking about you in such scandalous ways, but never dared to entertain the idea that you could be his Mate. And yet, here you were, in his arms, igniting a fire within him that burned brighter than any star in the night sky.
He cursed himself for his blindness, for allowing his fears and insecurities to cloud his judgment for so long. You had been there all along, his steadfast companion, his confidante, his best friend. And yet, he had been too blind to see what was right in front of him, too enamored by his love for Mor and lusting after Elain, too afraid to acknowledge the longing that had been simmering beneath the surface for far too long.
But now, as he held you in his arms, the truth was undeniable. You were his Mate, chosen by the Mother herself to be his partner, his equal. And as that realization washed over him, a surge of raw emotion coursed through his veins, overwhelming him with a sense of gratitude and awe.
His voice, though still tender, took on a more daring tone as he spoke, his hands trailing over the delicate lace adorning your dress. The fabric felt soft and delicate beneath the rough texture of his scarred fingers. "You're not just my equal," he murmured, his voice low and husky, "you're my other half, the missing piece of my soul. And I intend to cherish and adore you for all eternity, to worship every inch of your body as if it were my sanctuary." Your breath hitched, a soft moan escaping your parted lips. The tightness of your dress felt suffocating now, chest heaving.
Azriel straightens his back, now standing to his full height in front of you. Holding your eyes captured with his, his hands wander to the top-button of his black shirt. There was a unspoken promise in the way he looked down at you. As he stood before you, his wings casting a mesmerizing shadow in the moonlit room, you couldn't tear your gaze away from him. His fingers deftly undid the buttons of his shirt, revealing the intricate tattoos that adorned his muscular chest, you couldn't help but admire the sight before you. With each button released, your anticipation grew, the desire to feel his skin against yours overwhelming your senses.
His lips ghost over your neck then, inhaling your scent. A guttural snarl leaves him as he smells just how turned on you are, letting his lips trail up your neck to the shell of your ear. "You're mine" With a soft gasp, you tilted your head back, offering him better access to your neck. "Yours," you whispered breathlessly. Azriel nips at the skin just beneath your ear then. “So. Fucking. Intoxicating.” He raps in between hot open-mouthed kisses that trail back down your throat, ending at your collarbone.
Standing up from the edge of the bed, you closed the distance between you. Your fingers trembled slightly as you reached out, trailing them along the exposed skin of his chest, tracing along the lines of his tattoos, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your touch. His head was tilted down, his eyes fixed on you with an intensity that made your breath catch in your throat. Azriel's gaze never leaves you as you explore his body, his eyes dark with longing and something deeper. He remains silent, his chest rising and falling with each ragged breath, a silent invitation for you to continue your exploration. With each button that came undone, revealing more of his sculpted physique, your heart raced faster.
When the last button was undone, you pushed the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. His skin was warm beneath your touch, his muscles tense with anticipation. "You're so beautiful," you whispered, your voice barely audible above the sound of your racing heartbeat.
"I want to feel every inch of you." With a low growl, Azriel's lips brushed against the shell of your ear again as he spoke, his voice thick with want. "Then feel," he murmured, his breath hot against your skin. As he turned you around, pressing his front into your back, you could feel the hard bulge of his arousal pressing against your lower back.
"Can you feel what you do to me?" Azriel's voice was a husky whisper against your ear as his front pressed into you, his painfully hard cock straining in his pants, hands trailing over the scarred skin of your back. You shivered at his touch, feeling the warmth of his hands as they came to a halt where the fabric of your dress starts again, right where your skin would dip into the curve of your ass. He wanted to rip that god-forsaken dress right from your body.
“I can't take it anymore," Azriel groaned, his voice thick with lust as he began unbuttoning the dress, his fingers trembling with anticipation. Each button that came undone sent a jolt of electricity coursing through both of you, the tension between you reaching its breaking point. When he reached the last button, just beneath your ass, his breath caught in his throat as he realized you weren't wearing any underwear. With a low growl, he threw his head back in frustration, calling you naughty as he slipped the straps of your dress off your shoulders.
Pressing a kiss to the spot where the straps had left small indents in your skin, he murmured against your ear, "You're driving me insane, you know that?"
You could only whimper in response, the intensity of his touch leaving you breathless and desperate for more. As he peeled the dress from your body, revealing every inch of your skin to him. “It’s quite common to-“  Your attempt to explain the impracticality of wearing anything underneath these dresses is cut short when Azriel kneels behind you, pulling the dress down to the floor with him. The words die in your throat as his lips press against the middle of the small of your back, sending shivers cascading down your spine. His touch and the cold air hitting your perked breasts makes your nipples harden.
You gasp as his kisses trail downwards, his lips leaving a scorching trail along your skin. When he reaches the curve of your ass, you feel his teeth graze over the soft flesh, sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. Your hands grip the edge of the bed tightly as you arch your back, offering yourself to him completely.
As you step out of the dress, Azriel pushes it aside, his gaze drinking in the sight of you standing before him in all your glory. His hands start at your calves, moving upward with deliberate intent until they come to rest on your ass cheeks, kneading them with a gentle yet firm touch. Azriel's eyes darken as he notices the slick coating your inner thigh, a silent testament to your arousal. With a low growl, he lets one of his hands travel there, his thumb grazing dangerously close to where you need him the most as he gathers some of your slick with his fingers. God's, you were so wet for him.
He hums satisfied when your body trembles under his touch, hands wandering to grip your hips again. "Turn around." He orders softly, urging you with his grip on your hips. As you turn to face him, your breath catches in your throat at the sight of Azriel kneeling before you, his eyes dark with lust, his gaze locked onto yours with an intensity that sends a thrill coursing through your veins. His tousled hair frames his face, adding to the raw allure of the moment, and you can't help but feel heat pool in between your legs.
His smirk only adds to the tension between you, his arm wrapping around the back of your legs to keep you steady. With a boldness that surprises even yourself, you reach out to run your fingers through his hair, relishing in the sensation of the soft strands beneath your touch. Azriel's eyes flutter closed briefly at your touch, a low growl rumbling in his chest as he leans into your hand, savoring the feeling of your touch against his skin. He opens his eyes again, his meeting yours immediately. "Remember what I said earlier?" He tilts his head in question, his gaze slowly raking down from your face to take in your breasts, flushed and perked, begging for attention, trailing down further to the curve of your hips, trailing even further to level his gaze, looking at your dripping cunt briefly. Pressing a heated kiss to one of the scars adorning your stomach then, he exhales sharply, the heat of his breath on your wet skin making you shiver. "It's hard to remember anything right now." You say with a gulp, struggling to even form words right now. His chuckles softly. "I said." He pauses, grasping your thighs with both of his hands now. "That I wanted your legs to frame my face."
Azriel's words send a jolt coursing through you. Your breath hitches as his hands grip your thighs firmly, his touch sending a jolt through you. With a shaky exhale, you nod in response, your gaze locked onto his with a mixture of pure need and anticipation. "I remember," you manage to reply, your voice barely above a whisper.
His smirk deepens at your response, his eyes gleaming with primal hunger as he leans in closer, his breath hot against your skin. "Good," he murmurs huskily, his lips trailing fiery kisses along the curve of your hip. He needed to taste you, feel you dripping on his tongue, needing to know if you tasted as sweet as you smelled.
Unable to contain your own arousal any longer, you whimper softly, your fingers tangling in his hair as you guide him closer to where you need him most. "May I?" he asks, looking up at you again. Something tells you that he was at the brink of losing all his restraint, but if you now said you wanted to stop, he would immediately. You nod eagerly in response, unable to find the words to express the overwhelming need that consumes you. "Yes," you breathe out, your voice barely a whisper, but it's all the permission he needs.
He pulls apart your legs slightly, all while holding eye contact. Subsequently, he tilts his head slightly angling himself and dives in. His tongue falls out, dragging along your folds hungrily, his nose brushes and presses into your clit. A sinful groan leaves him when he tastes your arousal on his tongue, sending vibrations through your core. Fuck, if he wasn’t holding you up with one of his arms, supporting your weight, you would have fallen to your knees right then. Your back arches involuntarily at the sensation, a low moan escaping your lips as pleasure courses through your entire body. Azriel's touch ignites an inferno within you, burning hotter and brighter with each tantalizing stroke of his tongue.
With each flick and swirl, he sends ripples of ecstasy coursing through you, drawing forth gasps and whimpers that echo in the stillness of the room. Azriel's voice is husky and thick as he speaks, his breath hot against your heated skin. "You taste divine” And god’s you did, if he were to die with his tongue buried inside your pussy, he would die a happy male.
You can't help but moan in response, the sound a melodic symphony of pleasure as Azriel's tongue continues its relentless assault on your senses. His hands both wrap around your middle then, pulling you flush against his mouth, as if he was trying to drown between your legs. When his tongue delivers a particularly harsh flick over your bundle of nerves, you can't help but react, gritting your teeth and pulling on his hair in a desperate attempt to anchor yourself amidst the storm of sensation. The action elicits a deep, guttural groan from Azriel, his own pleasure evident in the way his body responds to your touch. Shit, he liked that.
Azriel pulls back with an embarrassingly wet, squelching sound, his lips swollen and his eyes heavy-lidded as he gazes up at you. A glistening trail of your essence adorns his chin, evidence of the pleasure he has bestowed upon you. Lazily, he licks his lips, savoring the taste of you as he takes in the sight before him. Your face is flushed, your chest heaving as you struggle to catch your breath. Every nerve in your body is alight with sensation, your mind reeling from the intensity of the experience. With a soft sigh, Azriel leans forward, pressing a tender kiss to your inner thigh before rising to his feet. The intensity of his gaze never wavers as he meets your eyes, heavy breaths mingling together.
Without a word, you lean forward, closing the distance between you, and your lips meet in a searing kiss. As your lips mold together, you can taste yourself on his lips, a heady mix of your arousal and his own taste. Azriel responds eagerly to your kiss, his arms wrapping around you as he pulls you closer, deepening the connection between you. His hand wanders to cup your breast, kneading the soft flesh with a gentle touch, making a shiver run down your spine at his words. "You're perfect," he murmurs against your lips, his voice husky. "With every scar," he adds softly, his fingers tracing the lines of your skin, "every imperfection, you're still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
His touch is gentle, reverent, as if he's tracing a map of your soul with his fingertips. And in that moment, you feel seen, truly seen, in a way you've never experienced before. It's as if Azriel is not only exploring the physical contours of your body but also the hidden depths of your being, embracing every part of you with unwavering acceptance and love.
Tears prickle at the corners of your eyes as you gaze into Azriel's, overwhelmed by the depth of emotion in his words and the tenderness of his touch. "Thank you," you whisper, your voice trembling with emotion. "For seeing me, for loving me just as I am." You press your forehead against his, your heart overflowing with love for this remarkable male who has captured your soul so completely. “I love you, Azriel.”
Azriel's gaze softens even further as he listens to your heartfelt words, a gentle smile playing on his lips. He brushes his thumb against your cheek, wiping away the tears that threaten to fall. "You don't have to thank me," he murmurs, his voice filled with warmth and affection. "Loving you comes as naturally to me as breathing. You've always been perfect to me." He leans in to press a tender kiss to your forehead, his arms wrapping around you in a comforting embrace. "I love you too, with every fiber of my being."
You melt into his touch, your full breasts pushed against his chest, skin on skin, the shift in position had you feel every hard inch of him pressed against your lower stomach. One of your hands used his distraction to sneak between you, cupping him through the fabric of his pants. You wanted to moan at the sheer size of him. Azriel's breath hitches as your hand cups him through his pants, his hips instinctively pressing forward into your touch. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, a low growl rumbling from deep within his chest.
You can feel him hardening even more beneath your touch, the heat of his arousal pulsing against your palm. His fingers dig into your waist, holding you close as he savors the exquisite torture of your touch. With a shuddering breath, he whispers your name, his voice thick with desire.
Azriel's voice is strained as he speaks, his words coming out in a low, gravelly tone. "I'm sorry, but I think I'll lose it if I don't fuck you already," he admits, his breath hot against your skin. His admission sends a jolt of anticipation coursing through you, your own desire matching his as you feel the urgency in his voice.
You can't help but let out a breathless laugh at his honesty, the sound a mixture of excitement and longing. "Then what are you waiting for?" you tease, a playful glint in your eyes as you meet his gaze. "Take me, Azriel. I'm all yours." And that's all he needs, every chain of restraint he had kept up shattered with your words. You Yelp when he lifts you a little and throws you back onto the bed with ease. Azriel's movements are swift and confident as he sheds his remaining clothing, his gaze never leaving yours. The hunger in his eyes mirrors your own as he stands before you, gloriously naked.
A soft gasp escapes your lips as you take in the sight before you, your eyes tracing every curve and contour of his impressive length. Never before had you seen a more beautiful sight, and the need to feel him inside you overwhelms you. His cock stands tall and proud, the veins along its silky length enticingly prominent, pre-cum glistens on the head, a tantalizing invitation that beckons you closer. Cursing under your breath, you can feel your core clenching around nothing but air, aching for the delicious sensation of being filled by him.
"And here I tried to take my time with you," he remarks, his voice low and husky with need. Despite his words, there's an unmistakable hurry in his movements as he kicks off his pants. Azriel crawls onto the bed, his movements fluid and purposeful. Every inch of his body radiates heat, drawing you in. As he hovers above you, his eyes roam over your body hungrily, taking in every curve and contour as if committing them to memory.
He props himself up with his arms, caging you beneath him. With a strained sound, something between a growl and a moan, he lowers himself onto you, his weight pressing you into the mattress. Your breathing quickens as his hand traces down your body once more. "Let's ensure I don't hurt you when I take you," he whispers, his voice filled with want. He dips a finger into your wetness, gathering your slick. "Azriel," you moan his name, squeezing your eyes shut in need, impatiently trying to create some friction by grinding on his hand. "I've got you," he murmurs reassuringly, his thumb drawing lazy circles on your clit.
Azriel watches every single one of your reactions, savoring the way your face contorts in pleasure, how your lips part, relishing every whimper and whine he can coax from your body. A soft hum escapes him as he eases one of his digits into your awaiting warmth. Your hand wraps around the arm he uses to prop himself up with, squeezing slightly. "Good girl," he murmurs, his voice a low, seductive rumble. After stretching you with one finger, he adds a second one, slowly thrusting them inside, curling them slightly, watching your reactions carefully. Your breath hitches as he fills you, your walls clenching around his fingers in response to the delicious sensation. Azriel's gaze never leaves yours as he moves his fingers within you, hanging onto every reaction you may give him.
Feeling the way your body responds to his touch, Azriel can't help but grin as he finds that sweet spot that makes you gasp his name loudly. He repeats the motion, relishing in the way your body reacts, confirming that he's found exactly what he was looking for. With a confident smirk, he lets his gaze wander down, watching as his fingers disappear into your wet cunt, completely lost in the sight and sensation of you.
As he picks up the pace, Azriel watches intently as you clench around his fingers, your body trembling with the impending release of your release. With a commanding tone, he orders you to look at him, and you obediently open your eyes to meet his gaze. "I'm-" you begin, wanting to tell him that you're about to come, but before you can finish your sentence, he carries you through the intensity of your orgasm. A high-pitched moan escapes your lips as pleasure courses through your body, echoing through the room. He kisses the top of your head lovingly, his lips lingering there as he whispers words of encouragement. "That's it, love," he coos softly, his voice a gentle melody in the midst of your pleasure. With tender care, he lets you ride out the waves of your orgasm, his fingers still inside you, providing the support and stimulation you need.
While you come down from your high, a surge of newfound energy pulses through you, fueled by blinding passion and longing for more of him. You catch his lips with yours, the taste of your pleasure still lingering between you. With a playful nip, you bite down on his bottom lip, eliciting a low growl from deep within his chest that vibrates against your lips. His hand retreats from between your legs, but you're not done yet. Your hand finds his heavy cock once more, the need for him burning hot within you. With deliberate strokes, you run your hand down his length, feeling him twitch in response to your touch. His grunt is muffled by the kiss, but you can sense the pleasure building within him.
You push lightly against his chest, your gaze lingering hungrily on his throbbing cock in your hands, eager to taste him. As you attempt to lower yourself, your intention clear, he catches your other wrist with a firm grip. His voice is heavy with need as he speaks, his desire palpable. "As much as I would love to see those pretty lips wrapped around my cock," he begins, his words laced with hunger, "I desperately need to fuck you right now." The intensity in his eyes matches the urgency in his voice.
Your breath hitches when he finally bottoms out, buried deep inside you to the hilt. With both of your eyes closed in pure bliss, you can feel the pulsing of his cock inside you. When you glance at him, his brows are furrowed in concentration, his lips pressed together in a thin line, clearly focused on controlling himself.
With a gentle yet firm touch, he removes your hand from his cock, replacing it with his own as he guides himself to your entrance. With a swift motion, he drags his cock through your folds, the tip grazing over your clit in a tantalizing friction. You shudder as he repeats this motion, each pass sending a jolt of electricity through your body. He grinds down on you, coating his length in your arousal.
With a low groan of pleasure, Azriel nudges at your entrance, his cock easing into you slowly. Both of you moan in unison as he sheathes himself inside you, inch by inch. "Fuck," he breathes out, his body tensing slightly as he closes his eyes to focus. You feel incredible, and he knows he needs to take his time to savor every moment. With a few seconds of restraint, he continues to ease himself into your cunt, your legs falling apart to give him more access to your dripping core.
His eyes lock with yours when he opens them, seeking confirmation, and you respond with a nod, a smile playing on your lips, encouraging him to proceed. However, your smile fades instantly when he withdraws and plunges back into you with full force. Your hands instinctively find their way to his back and shoulders, but as you inadvertently brush against the soft membrane of his wings, a guttural moan escapes him, accompanied by a curse. "If you do that again," he warns between ragged breaths, "I won't last."
Your sheepish smile does little to mask the desire flickering in your eyes as you offer a soft apology. "Sorry," you whimper, your voice strained, as another forceful thrust sends waves of ecstasy coursing through your body. "Don't be sorry," he murmurs in response, his voice thick with need. "Just... fuck." His words trail off into a groan as he continues to drive into you with relentless urgency, each thrust sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. You mewl at his hard thrusts, clawing at his back. "More" you whimper.
Azriel's grip tightens on your hips as he obliges, his thrusts becoming more fervent and primal in response to your plea. Each movement sends ripples of ecstasy radiating through your body, igniting a fiery passion between you that consumes every inch of your being. "You want more?" he growls, his voice dripping with lust as he meets your desperate gaze. "I'll give you everything." The intensity of his thrusts increases, driven by Illyrian instincts and overwhelming desire. His hips move with a feverish urgency, each snap of his body meeting yours sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. His wings flare out behind him, a testament to the raw passion consuming him in the heat of the moment. You cling to him, lost in the moment.
Azriel curses, sweat forming above his eyebrows. "I- Shit, wait." He slows down a little bit. "Come here." He slides out of you a bit, pushing your knees up to your chest and hooking each leg over one of his shoulders. "Let me just..." He mumbles in concentration, arms scooting behind your back, lifting you up with him and hurrying to press your back against the headboard. He holds you firmly, the new position and angle giving him endless access to your throbbing heat. You are held up by his muscular arms, sandwiched between his body and his headboard. "Ready?" he huffs.
You nod eagerly, your body already craving his touch and the new angle. As he slides back into you, you gasp at the sensation, the deeper penetration sending sparks shooting through you. His arms hold you securely up in the air, your back pressed against the solid wood of the headboard as he moves with a renewed vigor. With each thrust, you feel yourself being driven closer to the edge, the intensity of the moment overwhelming you. "Yes, Azriel, don't stop," you moan, your voice a breathless plea as you surrender yourself to him.
Your eyes nearly roll to the back of your head as he pounds into you relentlessly. You're a moaning mess at this point, tits bouncing with every thrust up into your clenching cunt. Azriel imagined this moment so many times over the course of the last months but nothing compared to the real you, the real feeling. "Your pussy feels amazing wrapped around my cock." He speaks into your ear, grunting softly, his hair falling into his face a little. "So good for me." Your body trembles with each powerful thrust, your senses overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of the pleasure coursing through you. Every word that spills from Azriel's lips only serves to fuel the fire burning within you, his praise igniting something ancient deep within your core. You can feel the tension building, the coil of ecstasy winding tighter with each movement of his hips. "Azriel," you whimper, your voice a desperate plea as you cling to him, lost in the euphoria of the moment.
"I love the way you say my name like that." he emphasizes his words with another deep thrust of his hips, hitting that sweet spot inside you that makes you see stars. He bites into the soft flesh of your neck, biting, sucking, marking you as his. The sensation of his teeth sinking into your flesh sends shivers down your spine, a mixture of pleasure and pain mingling together in the most intoxicating way. You arch your back, offering yourself to him completely, every inch of your skin craving his touch, his possession. His words echo in your mind as you moan his name again and again, each utterance a testament to the bliss he's brought you to.
"My Mate." He grunts out in-between thrusts, sucking at the spot where your neck meets your shoulder. "Only mine." You cling to him desperately, your nails digging into his back as you feel yourself hurtling towards the edge of oblivion. "Yours," you gasp, the word torn from your lips as pleasure consumes you. "Only yours, Azriel." As you feel yourself getting closer, you let your hands wander to Azriel’s wings again, letting your fingers softly explore the bone and flesh of the beautiful membrane. He releases a sound that he never even heard himself make, rutting into you again, jaw clenched. "You'll be the death of me"
Azriel groans loudly as he feels you clenching around him, milking his cock for all he is worth, the sensation pushing him over the edge. With one final thrust, he buries himself deep inside you, releasing with a roar as his hot seed spills into you, his body shuddering with the force of it all. He collapses against you, his wings folding around you both protectively as you both ride out the waves of pleasure together. You both pant heavily, his head resting on your sweaty shoulder. Both of your hearts beating rapidly, just slowly calming. "We made a mess of your bed." you state with shaky voice. Azriel laughs then, a true deep laugh.
His wings tremble under your touch, a sensation unlike any other coursing through him. "Gods, don't stop," he growls, his voice strained as he continues to thrust into you, the intensity of your touch pushing him closer to the brink. "I want to feel you come apart beneath me." You feel yourself clench and constrict around his cock that's nestled deep within you. So, so deep within you. Moaning soundly, you chant his name, telling him you're close. Azriel responds to your pleas by driving into you harder, his thrusts becoming more urgent and desperate as he pushes you both towards the edge.
"Come for me," he urges, his voice rough, his hips meeting yours with harsh snaps. "Let go, love." You gush around his cock then, white, hot pleasure shoots through your body as you spasm around his thick length buried inside you. Raking your nails down his wings while your whole body shakes, you hear him fucking whimper.
Azriel's laughter is like music to your ears, a symphony of joy and satisfaction that fills the room. "Worth it," he murmurs against your skin, his breath warm against your neck. You can't help but smile, feeling content and loved in his arms. "Definitely worth it," you agree softly, snuggling closer to him as you both bask in the afterglow of your passion. Azriel grinds into you one, two more times for good measure, easing out of you with a low groan, his cock twitching at the sight of your shared release dripping from your cunt. He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead before moving to the side of the bed, standing up and disappearing into the bathroom.
He brings a warm towel when he returns, using it to wipe away any remaining traces of sweat and arousal from your skin, his touch soothing and comforting. Once you're both clean and comfortable, he pulls the covers over you, tucking them snugly around your bodies.
With a tender smile, he brushes a strand of hair away from your face, his eyes filled with affection as he leans in to press a soft kiss to your lips. "You were incredible," he murmurs against your mouth, his voice filled with sincerity. "Thank you for sharing that with me." He then settles beside you, pulling you close so that you can rest your head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
“Why exactly didn’t we do this earlier?” The question leaves you with a huff. Azriel chuckles softly, his fingers tracing soothing patterns on your back. "I've been asking myself the same question," he admits, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "But I suppose everything happens in its own time. And right now, I'm just grateful that we're here together." He shifts slightly to gaze into your eyes, his expression tender. "I love you."
You smile up at him, your heart swelling. "I love you too," you whisper, reaching out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind his ear. The moment feels so precious, so intimate, that you wish you could freeze it in time and stay like this forever. Azriel's gaze holds yours, a warmth and adoration shining in his eyes that makes you feel cherished beyond measure. With a contented sigh, you snuggle closer to him, relishing in the comforting embrace of his arms. This was where you belonged, in his arms, together, for eternity.
With a groan you move to look at Azriel again. “Cassian will never let this go” Azriel snorts at your annoyed groan. "Let him tease all he wants," he says, his voice laced with amusement. "As long as I have you, I couldn't care less about what Cassian has to say." He presses a gentle kiss to your temple again, his arms tightening around you in a reassuring embrace. "Besides, I think he'll be too busy celebrating to bother with teasing."
You smile at his words, feeling a warmth spread through your chest at his affectionate gesture. "I suppose you're right," you reply, running your fingers lightly through his hair. "But still, I can already hear the jokes he'll come up with." Azriel grins mischievously, his eyes dancing with amusement. "Well, since he's been giving me shit for about a century now, telling me I should finally make a move," he begins, his tone low, "I think we've given him quite the surprise, wouldn't you say?" He leans in to nuzzle your cheek affectionately, his lips brushing against your skin as he speaks.
A playful smile tugs at your lips as you imagine the reactions of your friends. "Oh, the looks on their faces when we tell them we're mates," you say, your voice tinged with amusement. "I can already picture Cassian's jaw hitting the floor." You chuckle softly, leaning into Azriel's touch
Azriel nods in agreement, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "Oh, Rhys will definitely be worse than Cassian," he says, his tone laced with amusement. "He's probably been waiting for this moment even longer than Cassian has. I wouldn't be surprised if he sensed it coming before we even did." His heart swells at the sound of your laughter, his own lips curving into a wide, genuine smile. He reaches out to gently brush his thumb over your swollen lips, his touch tender and filled with affection. "I could listen to that laugh forever," he murmurs softly, his gaze warm as he gazes into your eyes.
A loving glint dances in your eyes as you playfully tug at the bond between you and Azriel, relishing in the connection that binds you together. His eyes widen in surprise, but he quickly catches on, a smirk forming on his lips as he tugs back, understanding your silent communication perfectly as you send love down the bond.
Cassian's voice echoes through the room, breaking the tranquility of the morning. Startled awake, you and Azriel jolt upright in bed, disheveled and bleary-eyed. Azriel's wings instinctively flare out in a protective gesture as he pulls you closer to him, shielding you from Cassian's sudden intrusion.
Entwined in each other's arms, the warmth of your bodies creating a cocoon of comfort, you and Azriel drift into a peaceful slumber. The golden thread of your bond shimmers softly, a tangible reminder of the connection that binds your souls together. As sleep claims you both, your dreams are for once not plagued by haunting memories. Instead, you sleep soundly, dreaming of whatever possibilities lief in the future.
☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆
"Did I interrupt something?" Cassian's grin widens as he takes in the scene before him, unable to contain his excitement.
Azriel clears his throat, his cheeks tinged with a faint blush. "Cassian, is there a reason you're barging into my room at this ungodly hour?" His tone is a mix of irritation and amusement. But Cassian is too busy reveling in the moment to pay much attention to Azriel's annoyance. "You sly dog!" he exclaims, pointing an accusatory finger at Azriel. "You finally made a move, didn't you?"
You bury your face in Azriel's chest, feeling a mix of embarrassment and amusement at Cassian's brazenness. Azriel simply rolls his eyes, though there's a hint of a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. "It's about time!" Cassian continues, unabashed. "Rhys is going to lose his mind when he finds out!"
Azriel sighs, resigned to the fact that there's no escaping Cassian's teasing now. "Well, since you're already here, you might as well make yourself useful and fetch us some breakfast." Cassian's grin widens even further if that's even possible. "Consider it done!" he says before bounding out of the room, leaving you and Azriel to share a knowing glance. Despite the intrusion, there's a sense of contentment and happiness that lingers in the air, a silent acknowledgment of the bond that now binds you and Azriel together. As you lean into his embrace once more, you can't help but smile, grateful for the unexpected turn of events that brought you to this moment.
☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆
A/N: Welllllllllllllllll, what do you think? For now, I'm very happy with where their story ended. But I have some ideas that could work for further parts. Otherwise, I'll probably work on other projects of mine!.
Taglist: @impossibelle @paleidiot @tele86 @namelesssaviour @sstrohma @that-one-little-soybean @mybestfriendmademe @durgenyx @shinyghosteclipse @katherinejess @thisiskaylin @itsbonniebabe @lilah-asteria @dream-alittlebiggerdarling
I hope I didn't forget anyone!!
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bloodycassian · 7 months
Text
Divinity - threesome, Azriel x Reader x Cassian - smut with plot.
Angst and pining turns into tender smut - skip to +++++++++++ for just the smut.
warnings and themes below -
dirty talk, P in V, Oral, praise kink (slightly), mating bond, mentions of blood, mentions of death, stalker-ish behavior, suggested bondage, suggested BDSM/brattamer!Azriel, thoughts of suicide, jealousy and envy, alcoholism, mentions of painkillers
Cassian was a dog. He knew it but watched anyway. He didn’t know why it happened, why it had to be you, but he didn’t bother to deny the insatiable craving he had for you when he was this deep into his cups. He turned into an utter and complete animal for the sight of you before him. He was already drooling. He’d be on all fours in a second if it’d appease you. Entranced, he followed your every move, eyes lingering on all the perfect curves and dips of your body as you danced.
Then came the hands upon your hips, so similar to his own, in all but the scarring. 
His own brother in bond didn’t know how Cassian lusted for you. How, in the darkest nights when he knew none would hear, he often pleasured himself to the mental image of you. He once feared Azriel has become aware of the way he felt about the shadowsinger’s mate, but there was never an attempt on Cassian’s life. Surely if Azriel had known, Casisan would be dead on the spot. 
He his behind his pint, taking a long sip before banishing you from his mind. 
He turned in his chair, facing the rest of the crowd that swayed to the band’s music. His stomach clenched and unclenched, as if  not leering at the one he lusted for warred with his very being. He ached. His body, his mind, something deep inside his chest, in his diaphragm keened and pitched - gods he was drunk.
He slapped down a few gold marks and slid from his chair, pushing his hair back from his eyes. Sickness overwhelmed him exiting the bar. Patrons rustled in and out, several attractive fae that gave him looks as he strode out. None seemed quite right though. None were you.
He doubled over and vomited in the streets of Velaris. 
+
He found solace only when you shared quiet evenings together at dinner, Azriel idly brushing lightly over your hand and serving you different foods. Envy gripped Cassian, a noose and a leash. His guide and his demise. He couldn’t look his brother in the eyes when you were around. 
At least his body wasn’t aching. 
+
He found more and more reasons to be around you. His headaches and nausea were growing worse by the week. He’d visited Madja at least three times in the last month, but nothing could be done about his condition. “Perhaps you should take a break from Ritas, General.” She’d scolded, eyeing the way his hands shook and his pallor. 
He hadn’t admitted how the pain only subsided when you were around. If you were his solution, then he’d find another. Eventually. When he had the time. 
But he was so consumed by the pain, he found himself merely enduring life when you weren’t around. Rhys had even begun to question him, commanding that Cassian go to the Illyrian healers and make sure that the more spiritual side of him was alright. He knew how skeptical Rhys was concerning the ‘mage’ centers there, therefore it was no comfort that he’d been so adamant about it.
Cassian drifted. He drank more. He wallowed around at the house of wind, just to be free of the hold the pain had on him. It seemed to be the only place he could find relent from the aching in his diaphragm. His hands shook in the mornings after he’d dreamed of you, just a few doors away. He wondered if you felt his heated presence when he was around, if you saw the way his eyes widened and how he seemed unable to breathe properly when looking into your eyes. 
Then he’d glance over to where Azriel stood, strapping on his belt of weapons or leaping form the balcony, and the shame would shatter him. He’d hide from you for days at a time while Azriel was away, hoping to the Mother that his cock didn’t get him assassinated by his own brother. 
He would leave - he should leave. But what the hel was he meant to do about the migraines, the stomach cramps that accompanied him departing your vicinity? 
He could stay, and risk becoming a homewrecker, or he could leave and be hollowed out on the inside by some of the most intense internal pain he’d ever experienced.
He almost wished Azriel would end him.
+
The illyrian camps were the same as they’d always been. A part of him joyed in seeing the soldiers take up guard as he flew over. He was the Lord of Bloodshed here. A traitor, the male who’d killed an entire village of them for what they’d done to his mother. He would not be disrespected here. 
He winced at the landing, the only thing keeping him flying being the pain management he’d bought from the back alley of a mage’s shop. One known for peddling above average doses. 
He knew drinking himself stupid wouldn’t get him all the way to the Steppes. He also knew showing up to the mages caves would be somewhat dangerous, espically not knowing what’ they’d need to do to fix him. So he’d paid a hefty bag of coin for the shiny purple bottles, and it’d paid off. He would need to be sober for this interaction. 
The front door was a ragged, sunbleached patchwork of driftwood from the beach down the mountain. The gaps between packed with mud and moss, carvings dotting every surface. Some were clearly from children, faded scrawled names and hearts and wings. The majority of the others were symbols, whorls and shapes that almost resembled letters.
He knocked lightly, then entered. The sun on his back disappeared, and his teeth chattered slightly, not entirely from the shade.
“A rare visit from a royal such as yourself” A female voice called, deep and soft and something he would have found sultry if he could think of any female but you. She appeared from behind a partition, holding a bowl with twigs and things rising from the edges. 
He straightened as she breathed deeply. Her eyes flickered beneath her lids, scenting him. Taking stock of his recent history. He shuddered, and the pain lanced through him for a moment. His teeth ground together. He would not fear a female as small as her. But the power she held… it seemed to radiate from her, like the embrace of a fire. 
“I am no royal. I just happen to have a convenient connection to some.” He quipped back, mood souring as his pain spiked and faded. The sawing knives in his gut had grown sharper and hotter with every wingbeat away from Velaris before he’d taken the potion a quarter of the way to the Steppes. Was it already wearing thin? 
“What ails you then, Lord of Bloodshed?” She cocked her head to the side, daring him to dispute his battle earned title. She ran a finger over the lip of the bowl, her eyes tracking the movement of his hand to the center of his torso.
“Shouldn’t you know by now?” He couldn’t help the hand he used as support in that aching spot, just between his ribs. He wasn’t dying, he knew that at least. He’d been close enough to death before to know what it’d be like when it truly came for him. 
“I sense pain, yes. But to truly know you’d have to allow me access to  the afflicted area.” 
Reluctantly, he followed her to the area behind the partition, which was beautifully adorned with dried herbs upon the wall, hanging upside down from several strings. The candlelight flickered over every surface, making shadows dance and radiate a warm glow over the bed upon the floor. 
He removed his tunic. Her eyes darted over his body, every part of his sculpted muscle. Her tongue flicked over her lips. “If you want your coin, you’ll quit smiling like that.” He warned. 
She hissed a laugh, but motioned for him to lay flat on the bed. 
“You may find these methods strange, and different from how your healers in the courts handle things. But you must trust that I am going to help you.” She began, the words practiced and falling from her tongue so quickly he could hardly keep up with the pounding in his head. 
“We will begin with a full body check.” She lit something that began smoldering on a shelf to her side. “I will be sensing your energy from your key points, finding the difficult areas and allowing that to guide me where I sense it is taking me.” Something wet smeared against his cheekbones, but he was beginning to ease into the process with much more willingness now as she explained. 
“It may seem like your afflicted areas become hot or tense when we begin to heal them, but please refrain from moving. The flow of energy is determined by your positioning and your emotion.” She was prepping more things, her honey smooth voice lulling him into a trance. More cool sensations dotted his chest, his abdomen. “If you are running, your body sends more energy to your heart. When you are trying to think of things, more to your mind. Just as a plant cannot grow without enough sunlight, we may not grow without enough positive energy. 
Her hand began at his head, kneading his greased hair and the ever present headache eased into a dull hum behind his eyelids. Her fringers traced over his skin, goosebumps breaking out every time they skimmed too lightly. His mind went blank at the warm pressure when he would push lightly on whatever key points she spoke of. Moving to his face, then his shoulders and chest. 
She eased downwards, the moment she skipped over the center he was arching up, pain lancing through him like a hot spike. A firm hand on his shoulder held him down. His eyes flashed open and panic corrupted his mind. 
“You must relax your body, Cassian.” A voice, not the woman’s languid tone but one that was much more intimately familiar to him. One that set his head spinning and stomach doing flips. One he’d imagined everything from fighting with to fucking with. 
But there was no way you were here, this was a trick of the mind. He knew that. He knew it. 
But it worked. And once he was able to relax his muscles again, the roaring pain in his muscles eased. It faded to little more than a dull ache. And for the first time in months, he went fully and completely unconscious. 
+
“I’ve never experienced such a through sickness such as yours, General. What a grip that female holds on you.”
“What are you talking about?” 
“You came here for answers, didnt you? You left your answer back in Velaris.” She pulled a rag from her makeshift sink and tossed it to him. “She is all you need. Your mate. Some scholars believe that-”
“What are you talking about?” He repeated again, his voice echoing through the cave.
She leveled him a look, one that had him straightening. “As I was saying - some scholars believe the refusal of the mating bond is powerful enough to kill. I suggest courting her, if you wish for the pain to ease more quickly.” 
“I don't understand what you are saying. She has a mate. I-” He stammered for the words, unable to comprehend what this female was telling him. Was Rhys right, was all this a scam? A show of something desired for a quick pocket of coin? But that pain he’d experienced - it was eased now. As if temporarily fended off by her power. 
“It is possible to have more than a single mate, Cassian. Especially if both parties of the mated pair are willing.” 
“It is unheard of. Azriel wouldn’t allow it.” He attempted an angry tone, but everything seemed distant and far away. 
Her eyes flashed with the glean of the information. But she kept her composure otherwise. It must have brought pity, from the way her face softened. “Perhaps you do not know all of the Shadowsinger’s secrets. He likely has more than you know.” She blew out the incense and a few of the candles. “But there is no denying that there is a tether in you. A mating bond, quite strong if you’ve been having effects this violent.”
He sat, head spinning. His stomach pitched, but for once it wasn’t because of the illness that infected him when you weren’t around. 
“What do I do, how do I-” His lips were moving, but the words seemed spoken by someone else. He was far, far away from his body and his mind was numb with shock. The words died in his throat before he said them. There wasn’t a single right question to get the answers he needed, and it left him to an ocean of self pity to wallow in. 
“Go to them. At the very least it will ease your suffering.” 
But he was already striding out, leaving a sack of gold marks on the floor behind him. “Mother watch over you, lord of bloodshed.” Her voice echoed through his mind the entire journey home. 
+
Azriel’s mind tricks were strictly forbidden during training, which meant the sight of Cassian approaching with nothing but his leathers on and nothing more than a dagger at his side was real. A rare sight of the General without a sword strapped at his back. His hair was also different, disheveled more than usual. As if he’d been running his hands through it for hours. He was pale, deep purple marks beneath his eyes, standing out even against his dark skin. 
“Cas, what is it?” Azriel turned to the male, not bothering to take up a defensive stance even when Cassian approached him in the ring. 
Something was wrong. Deeply, truly wrong then. 
“I need to speak with both of you.” He said, his voice like gravel. Like he’d been screaming. 
You approached, and they seemed to have a silent exchange. Something in Cassian’s eyes hardened when he looked to the shadowsinger, and there was the slightest nod as he handed Azriel the blade, hilt first. 
Your mate took it uneasily. You’d never seen Azirel seem so uncomfortable with a weapon in hand. He held it loosely, as if it pained him. 
“I can’t say this right. There is no way for me to be able to ever apologize for this. But I need to at least say it once. I am sorry for this. I am sorry for how this is about to fuck everytyhing up. Azriel I understand however you react, and I hope, if you decide to kill me, it is with that blade.” He nodded to the one he’d brought, the tip of it pointed to his stomach. 
“Cassian what-” You began, but his eyes flashed with such pain, such torment and pleading, that it took your breath away. He held your gaze and steadied his mind. This was it then, the moment he’d always hoped for, in some sick way. A part of him joyed that he’d die and no longer have to live with the agonizing guilt. 
“You’re my mate.” He said it, lip curling in disgust at himself. He said it, and seemed to deflate. Azriel was silent, your mouth agape as everything quieted. A beat, two, three. “I’m know it’s at least you. I’m not sure, Azriel if-” He began rambling, his cheeks flaring red beneath the bronze of his skin. The tips of his rounded ears turning a shade of pink. 
Something aligned inside you. Something deep and powerful, shifting the world beneath your feet and settling you into a new reality that seemed wholly incomplete without Cassian. Your eyes went to Azriel for the smallest second, attempting to make sense of what had been said. 
Your mate - your mate, the one you couldn’t imagine life without. The strongest male you’d ever met stood beside you, shaking. 
His shoulders seemed to crumple inwards, his hands trembling fiercely. 
The blade dropped the the ground, the shrill sound of it shocking you from your stupor. Azriel was moving before you could say anything. His hands went to Cassian’s shoulders, pushing him back, and back - stumbling backwards until they were both on the ground. “I asked for the blade-” Cassian ground out.
But Azriel was not choking Cassian, as you thought he may be. When you approached, Azriel was merely staring at him, his eyes locked on the other males in challenge, and in something like awe. 
The same way he watched you, you realized. Your breath hitched in your throat. 
Cassian’s eyes went wide with shock, then they went glassy. His brows pulled up in the middle, and he was breathing something - chanting something over and over. Through the roaring in your ears, his voice  seemed to slip through. A tether, a bond slipping past your mental walls. 
“She was right. She was right, she was right she was right-” It chanted over, and over.
You gripped Azriels shoulder, pulling him backwards off of Cassian. Both of them lay where they’d landed, victims to the reality that was your newly shared bond. 
A tangle of emotion shot through you, forcing you to the ground with them. Pain welled in your mind, your stomach and Azriel groaned along with you. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry-” You weren’t sure if the quivering words were coming from Cassian’s mouth or if they were his mental voice, but it cracked and splintered through your very soul. 
The world seemed to be collapsing, turning inward and eating itself whole. Pain and joy, laced with the scent of sea air and warm woods invaded your mind. Light and fear and an all consuming love roared through every bone in your body along with that seaside forest. Your blood sang with it. You could practically taste it upon your tongue, it was so potent. Through a sea of despair and grief, relief flooded your lungs and refilled you with life again. Cassian. You couldn't’ breathe. Not when his mental self was so all consuming. 
Cassian’s presence flowed through you on a bridge of broken, fired swords melded together with every step he took upon them. Every lick of his essence upon them firing them together, forging a bond of unbreakable steel. 
Another angle of anger, a deep rage and pity appeared. Azriel. You’d know his darkness anywhere, it was a part of you. It was the part of you that was so essential, so ingrained into your life, that you couldn’t imagine living without him. His passion, his smile, his laugh, his eyes - mother above, you were nearly knocked breathless waking up to him every morning. You gripped on to the bond, familiar and comforting as he slid into your mind, meeting you halfway. He embraced you for only a moment, not lingering at your side. His presence flew to the new section of your shared mental space, erupting from the black space like an island from the ocean.
 The bond quivered beneath his wrath, threatening to break that path of shadowy webs and ice. A glacier. that's what Azriel was in comparison. But with the heat of Cassian’s forged bridge, it was not unpleasant. You shied away from neither of them. 
Something happened then, something that was so unexpected from the two of them that it had you questioning what you sensed. A truce of sorts seemed to unfold before you as their presence met in your mind. 
Azriel’s northern drift of snow and ice faltered upon meeting Cassian’s wall of flame. They twined around each other, and a great column of wind flowed between the three of you. Emotion raged, jealousy, resentment, brutality and violence. It was dizzying. But then there was also an undeniable love. A tender, tentative love that shone through it all.  Harmony, and heated desire. A shiver rolled through you, and their presence both seemed to turn towards yours for an instant, distracted. There, in that moment, an unbreakable bond of care radiated from both of them - at war with the violence that begged to be released.
 Your mind was lost to it all, strewn wherever it took you. Indignation, then mouth watering need. Sorrow, then shame. You wished you could stop them, to throw yourself between them and endure the pain of it all alone. You would take it. The honesty of the realization shocked you. You’d easily take the burden of it all if it meant you could have them both, still, without the pain you were feeling second hand. 
The same care washed through them. You could feel it, as real and palatable as the chilled wind that washed over your physical body. 
Light flashed, blinding and warm, and it was over. The sky appeared before you, painted pink from the sunset that shone over Velaris. 
The wind you’d felt had been Azriels shadows gathering, black as the deepest part of the oceans and just as cold. He was standing first, his teeth chattering as he helped you, then Cassian to a standing position. 
“I always thought the bond between us was somehow different than how I felt with Rhys… Like there was an entire world more -” Azriel admitted, his cheeks flushing. Their presence in your mind rose and fell together like the sleeping breaths of a giant.
“I didn’t know. I am truly sorry Azriel-”
You were shocked yet again by Azriel’s next words. “Apologizing is a waste of time. We’ve been destined together, likely for longer than we have been.” He gripped your hand for a moment and squeezed. You weren’t offended. It was probably true, and they’d both been in denial of it for a long, long time. You’d only met Azriel a few hundred years ago, in a freak accident in the Hybern sea - and it had seemed too strange to be anything other than the Caludron mixing your lives together. 
But why had fate - the mother - waited so long to pull the three of you together? 
The questions were forced to wait. 
++++++++++
Azriel pulled you both close, then he was winnowing you together into the house of wind, back to your room. The clothes strewn on the bed felt embarrassing now, but Cassian took in the details greedily. You blocked out the heat that flooded his bridge at the sight of the hook points on the bedposts. Azriel’s coolness fluttered with amusement. You smacked his arm, and he hid his grin while watching the other Illyrian. 
It all seemed so natural, as if accepting Cassian as your mate was as easy as speaking to him.  It fell so in line with how the male truly was. It wasn’t a stretch or any kind of adjustment to make at all, it was as if you’d turned your head and he’d been there all along. Waiting, hoping and hungering after you.
The weapons upon the wall, the shelf of odd books on the other side of the room, even the bedspread were not unfamiliar to Cassian. The books were ones Cassian knew well, from basics of different fighting styles to tomes on battle strategy from all areas of the world. He’d envied Azriel for several of the weapons mounted beside them, most of them won in battles. 
Azriel noticed his admiration and smiled - the two had always had similar taste, after all. The General’s eyes shifted to the other pile of books and slips of paper upon the desk, full of different sketches and stories to be told and read. The empty glasses of water and scattered clothes left atop the bed. 
His eyes settled upon you, his eyes taking on a new confidence, like he’d learned enough from the small observations in your room and he now felt equipped for what was undeniably coming next. He could feel it, roiling beneath his skin, a beast of lust and greed lurking inside him. It took all his strength not to allow it freedom. To battle it every second with you so heated and flushed before him, laid bare on that bond - opened wide to both you and Azriel’s raging desire to claim you..
“This is going to be delectable.” Azriel’s dark voice purred in your mind. Then, the vision of you and Cassian locked in a melting kiss appeared. It was something you’d seen more than a few times when you and Azriel envisioned bringing a third into the bedroom. Your heart sped, forcing blood to pump thickly through your throat. 
“Kiss her.” Azriel suggested, his eyes skimming over Cassian’s body as if drinking him in. As if he were finally allowed to do such a thing. 
“Az, I-” Ever the gentleman, Cassian had to enforce some kind of hesitation, for respect alone. He shivered at even the idea, his mind bending to the thought more than it did with a High Lord’s order.
“She likes it slow, at first.” Azriel described, and you could feel the heat flooding through the bond, swelling your desire further. The anticipation tingled upon your tongue. The green tinged nerves that flowed from Cassian made racing to his hand easier. He didn’t need much convincing to grip yours back, glancing between you and Az. 
“Grip her ass, pull her in and it’ll set her off.” The shadowsinger smiled at your glare, and placed a hand on the small of Cassian’s back, leading him forward. You couldn’t deny the pure heat that coursed through your veins at the sight of your mate wanting another male to fuck you. “Once she’s earned it, I mean.” He ended with a wink. 
You rolled your eyes, and raised your free hand to brush away strands of Cassian’s hair from his face, tucking it behind his ear. “I’m looking forward to not having to deal with him alone any longer.” You let a finger drag over Cassian’s jawline, and he shivered.
Flames rushed down those mental bridges, Azriel’s just as intense as Cassian’s despite fact that the Shadowsinger stood to the side. Shadows darkened the room around you, the anticipation from Azriel apparent through the outline of his trousers. He gave you a nod with those darkened eyes, making your stomach flip, and you stripped your clothes off quickly. Eagerly, you realized with a small part of your mind that was not entirely consumed with arousal.
 Laid bare before them both, on the edge of the bed, just how Azriel’s eyes had suggested. Azriel knew just how to have you obey him. Just like how he knew to push the right buttons when he wanted you to give him attitude so he could punish you. It was a silent, wicked game you played together in private, but with Cassian here… Doubt crept in. A whisper of his thought floated to you. “Another time. He will not be punishing you until we go over rules first, darling.”  Your gaze flicked from Cassian, then back to him. He’d somehow bypassed Cassian with his implanted thought. You could see his pride shimmering behind his eyes at his accomplishment. 
He was cautious with his testing, you could feel it now, the way he cast shadows from your side of the conjoined bridges, to Cassian’s, then back. Attempting to find weak points, or ways to block out you and him. You would have glared at him, if it weren’t for the way he was also palming the hardness in his leathers. Your mouth popped open at the sight. Two males, both powerful and gorgeous and ready to fuck you. 
More than that. They were ready to lay their lives down for you, if it were commanded of them. This was far, far more than just a threesome. You’d have time for those relevations later, though. You reached down, toying with yourself, reveling in the way both of their eyes tracked the movement and how they both swore.
“Dont be shy now, Cas.” Azriel encouraged, his hands going to gently guide the larger male. The feel of the other Azriel’s skin against his own was like kindling to his flame, and the lord of bloodshed would never admit to the way his eyes fluttered back, pulling on years of hard willed training to not devour you before him. 
Here he was getting exactly what he’d envied Azriel for - Hel, being told to take you by Azriel.. And he was still cautious. He blamed his warrior mind. It was a trick, some way to test his loyalty, it had to be… but he coldn’t deny that connection in his mind that he now felt.
You gave a sinister smile, sensing just what your actions were doing to him, and winked. Upon the first touch of his hands - both of their hands - it was hard to hold back. Hard to keep from pulling them to you and fucking them both right there. It sent sparks to the base of your spine, heat to fuel your very bones. Cassian’s breath shuddered from him at the softness of your body, at the way Azriel was guiding him to touch you. 
Thighs, rubbing - massaging really - heavy, petting strokes of his calloused hands everywhere that he’d desired to touch for so long. Everywhere but your glistening cunt, which he scented with every breath. His mouth watered, but even when Azriel stepped away to watch from the end of the bed, Cassian didn’t immediately go to the feast before him. 
No, he wanted this to last. He wanted to savor every part of this experience. So he broke away for only a second to undo his belt, pull down his trousers and give himself a slight relief from the pressure building inside him. 
His cock was a gorgeous thing to behold. He was thicker than Azriel, but a bit shorter, and the slickness of his head had you anticipating the moment you’d taste him. You sat up to do just that, but a rope of Azriel’s shadow whipped forward and guided you back to the bed. You were going to protest but Cassian was grinning at the other Illyrian. 
“We can communicate openly or -” Cassian’s raspy mental voice lowered, and some part of you knew that the next words were just for you. “Privately. Just us, just for him or me or -” Cassian’s voice took on a more echoing tone next. “I can let you both know just how badly I want to bury my cock inside you.”
Your thighs clamped shut on his hands as he ended the thought with a soft thumbstroke over your clit. Azriel hissed, and you whimpered. The male atop you sucked the pad of his thumb between his lips and sighed. “Fucking delicious.” He muttered, his voice similar to his mental tone. 
His wings flared out, and he knelt before you, finally getting a full taste of your arousal. The heat of him was immeasurable, all consuming and completely fucking wonderful. He groaned into it, looking up to watch you, his mouth atop your clit. He lapped at it slowly while you arched and reached for anything - wanting to have Azriel in your hand, your mouth - anywhere. But he only shook his head, the corner of his lip pulling up slightly as he watched.
“Please-” You whined, unable to stop the way your body rolled and ground harder onto Cassian’s mouth. 
“Fuck-” Azriel panted, his hand steadying at the base of his cock. A bead of precome appeared at the tip, and he dabbed it with his finger. The next moment he was right at your side, shadows swirling from winnowing. His finger traced over your lips a moment before you sucked it into your mouth, reveling in the taste, the weight of it. It would have to suffice until he’d give you what you truly wanted. 
Cassian’s tongue flicked greedily lower, soaking you further with his saliva. You rocked into it, needing more than just the teasing licks. Your core ached, need turning into something that was controlling your very action, no matter how depraved. His tongue dipped into your hole, fucking you there for a moment while your eyes rolled back. You squirmed, locking your legs behind his head and pulling him deeper, closer, angling for more. You need the stretch, the fullness of his cock inside you.  the filthy exhilaration of his muffled moan had your legs quivering, weakening their hold enough for him to break away. Your insides quivered around the loss, and a wave of near orgasm pleasure washed through you, forcing your legs to shake. 
Had that feeling been Azriel? You hadn’t been touched nearly long enough to be so close already. Was Cassian - no, Cassian’s length didn’t reveal the same amount of slickeness that Azriels did. You shuddered at the thought of how much this was doing for Azriel. He’d wanted something like this for so long, but had always been too territorial to allow someone else in. The mother seemed to have answered his wish, and Cassian’s in one go.
Cassian sat up on his knees, a wide, smug smile spreading across his soaked lips. The shine of your wetness on his chin and nose sent you into a frenzy, and you moved to sit up, to taste yourself upon him. before you could, Azriel was at his side, kissing him, lapping it from him. Your mouth fell open, dry from the moaning. 
Watching them together was truly a gift. An extension of yourself felt exactly what they were experiencing, and that alone was so intense and heady you could barely focus on actually looking at the two. Cassian’s broad body was so different from Azriel’s lithe figure, so at odds with how many of your lovers in the past had been built. It made the need for his cock even more heightened. 
Their hands coasted over the plains of each other’s chests, their muscled backs, caressing and being much more tender than you anticipated them to be. Then Cassian’s hand landed at the base of Azriel’s cock, and pumped once. Az’s eyes flashed open, wide and wild. His teeth bared, his shadows devoured him and he re appeared at your head, his cock dripping precome onto your cheek. A rope of shadow pulled your leg back, allowing Cassian easy access.
“Fuck her good Cass.” He growled, then sighed at the heat of your mouth around him. You moaned around it, taking him in deep and humming as Cassian’s blunt head pressed against your entrance. 
He was fire, and he was all consuming, setting flame to every part of you he touched. Pure lava coursed through your veins once he entered you. The first few inches were bliss, and he kept going, and going, sinking into you until you were sure there was no space left to fill. There was nowhere for him to go but he kept pressing, pulling out and nudging back in, slickening his length more with your own juices so he could push in farther. Your mind buzzed with satisfaction. 
“So fucking tight.” He breathed, sweat appearing at his brow. Azriel relieved your mouth and instead positioned himself to your side, summoning at pillow for your head so he no longer had to hold you in place. No, he had much more important things to do with his hands. He languished in his strokes, matching the easy pace that Cassian set. Whining, you reached for him but were denied. 
A warning growl sounded in your mind, the desperation there palpable. He was on the brink, and just from watching. You cursed under your breath, but didn’t push him to give you what you wanted.
You watched Cassian break you apart, separating your lips and pushing deep until he bottomed out, a pinching sensation radiating through you, only to be drowned away by the exquisite pleasure of being so full. 
He rested there for a moment, and Azriel pulled at his cock idly, keeping himself hard while he watched was not a problem, fuck he’d do better with a break so he wouldn’t finish before Cassian.. His balls had tightened to the point of pain, forcing him to choose cumming down your throat or calculating the distance between his bedroom and the shop he’d have to visit tomorrow to buy a contraceptive tea blend. That worked to cool him off.
He was not here for the destination, he reminded himself.. The journey of discovery was something that thankfully would take several, several tries. Over years. Centuries, he hoped.Centuries. His mind unraveled that. Getting to know Cassian on the level he’d always wanted to. Getting to have experiences like this for centuries. His chest filled with heat, a different kind than the one that fueled him to nearly cumming in his own hand. 
It still nearly happened, watching Cassian lick his thumb and circle it over your clit while he pulled out, and gently pushed back into you. Blinding pleasure chased every rub, every thrust, and you pushed away his hand after a few more. “So close already?” He smirked, satisfied with his work.
He glanced to Azriel, and hissed under his breath at the perfection of the male. “I can feel her tightened up, nice and close for me.” Cassian said with a snap of his hips forward. You garbled some plea and tugged on the shadow bound leg that Azriel commanded. With your other hooked around Cassian’s back, you could almost force him deeper, to give you the angel that would have you coming undone around him.
“You like his cock, honey? You can tell me.” Azriel hummed.
Guilt did not burden you at this simple, animalistic pleasure. Not when there were two other sources of ecstacy contributing to your heady need. You nodded fervently, allowing them both to see how you’d truly become engulfed by the pleasure they provided. 
“Good. That’s a good girl, taking him so well.” He bit his lower lip and groaned. “I can feel you, like a ghost. This bond will be the death of me.” Azriel’s cock wept heavily, coating him with slick precome that you wished he’d let you taste. But every time you feebly reached for him, he’d sway from your touch. 
Cassian’s cock surged inside you, pressing up just as he thrust inward. Your body responded with a clench of your pussy around his girth, and gasps and moans echoed through the room, and there were no more games with either of them.
Azriel’s shadow melted away, and his cock was in your mouth at the same moment. Cassian sucked a mark onto your breast, and with both legs free you were able to latch around him and arch into his thrusts, meeting him with every one. 
Salt tanged your tastebuds as Azriel fucked your mouth, his hand keeping you in time with Cassian’s pace. And gods with every one of Cassian’s long, delicious thrusts he ground down onto your clit, sending you barreling towards the edge you weren’t sure if you were ready to be thrown from yet. 
You pulled Cassian forward slightly with your legs, angling him better and - gods. Your eyes rolled, and wetness seemed to burst from your pussy from the way the sound of Cassian’s cock sliding from you changed. Your toes curled, your mind went blank. There was nothing but the muffled, desperate moaning and ragged breaths as the pleasure tore through you. It was violent, and had you writhing on the sheets with the intensity of it.
Your walls spasmed, a hot and intense orgasm ripping through you and leaving you unable to move other than the rhythmic sway of your hips, silently bargaining for more once the intensity died down. Thankfully, Azriel had enough experience with your post orgasm needs that he continued fucking your mouth.
“Fu-u-uck-” Cassian drew the word out, and his eyes squeezed shut. Azriel’s hand tightened in your hair, then he held you there, his cock shoved deep in the back of your throat as he came and came, a breathy mess of loud moaning. 
Cassian wasn’t more than a second behind, spilling into you with a roar that managed to rip through your post-orgasm bliss. The feel of him, of his cum filling you sent your body into a heated need for more. You pulled back from Azriel, his hands had been frozen in your hair even after he’d finished. You climbed to Cassian, fixing your hands upon his broad shoulders and pushing his cock even deeper as you climbed him.
He knew what you wanted. What you needed. He grinned, eyes wild. And though he still shook from his own orgasm, hauled you up and off the soaked bed with corded, trained muscles. He pushed you to a small section of undecorated wall, and pined you there with ease. 
“Greedy thing, aren’t you?” He rumbled, pulling your thighs high up his hips and fucking you hard and fast. Gods this was for you, all of him, and Azriel both -  for you and he was giving it his all- You could hardly think of how lucky you were with his cock nudging into that small place inside you with every brutal thrust.
He was muttering filthy things in your ear, getting you closer with every action. “Y’Just need to cum again, don’t even care how. Gods I can feel you-” He sighed, and his jaw ached with how badly he wished he could finish again, to have you quivering upon his cock as he came into you until you were both fully spent.
Azriel lay on the bed, watching and idly toying with himself, his cheeks flushed and shadows coasting over his thighs. His cock stood proudly, shining with your leftover saliva and his own pleasure. 
Cassian was not forgiving. He pounded into you ruthlessly, rattling the swords and artwork upon the wall. You curled into him, meeting his every thrust with arched eagerness that had you building to another quick, exhilarating finish that left you panting, clawing at his back. The intensity of this one had you shuddering, crumpling in his grasp, and he rode you through it, fucking into you with the same harshness as he had been.
Only when your teeth let the skin of his chest free did he relent with slower, softer rolls of his hips until he was sure you didn’t want more. Until he was sure he couldn’t make you finish again. He wanted to make you like this every hour, every minute of the day now that he’d had a taste. IT would be hard to do anything but this for his foreseeable future. To have you so in his grasp, so tangible now… he still only half believed this was real, and not a dream.
He decided that before he woke, if this really were a dream, he’d treat you right. Both you and Azriel. He lay you down next to Azriel, and pulled his cock free from you. A wash of his cum followed, soaking the bedding further. He stood back a moment, marveling at both his mates.
He would have to make sure to give Azriel more time during their next round. He’d been so consumed with you it had been hard to focus on anything but you and the encouraging words and feelings from Azriel.
The sight before him was his future, and all that mattered in it. His reason, his divine destiny from the Mother. He blinked the tears away before they could pour over.
Cassian joined his mates, avoiding the large wet spots on the bedding. “I hope to the Mother that these sheets actually get washed and not Glamoured…” He grumbled, eyeing the room around him. The house deposited a stack of books upon the end table a moment later. Cassian picked one up. 
“Mothering of the Fae and other Species of Prythian, by Lidia Knight.” He read the title aloud, then glared at the ceiling. Azriel looked over your blissful expression, to his new mate, and laughed.
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munsons-hellfire · 8 months
Text
Happiness in the Heart | Eris Vanserra
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SUMMARY: You were in love with Azriel for as long as you could remember. But things changed when Elain joined your family, everything changed. Then you met your mate and suddenly you found everything you ever wanted. But you couldn't have had it had it not been for Azriel.
PAIRINGS: Eris Vanserra x Reader
CONTENT WARNINGS: No smut, Eris is nothing but sweet in this, angst, fluff, mentions of death, mentions of blood, nothing to graphic, mentions of heartbreak.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I had plans to make this a lot more sadder than what is actually written. But I like the way it turned out for the most part. I wanted to write a good sweet side to Eris and this was it. I enjoyed writing this very much and I hope you enjoy it as well.
WORD COUNT: 5.1K
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You’d been a part of the inner circle since you could remember. For a long time you truly felt like one of them but everything seemed to change when the Archeron sisters became a part of the inner circle. Suddenly everyone whom you’d assumed was your friend had disappeared. Azriel was your best friend and the two of you were inseparable and then Elain came into the picture and just like that you lost him.
You didn’t blame Elain, you understood. You knew that maybe you were better off alone. Your thoughts got the better of you telling you that maybe things would be better if you disappeared. Especially when Azriel started spending more time with Elain. You loved him, but had always been too afraid to say something. Though now it seemed like you no longer had a chance.
You were drifting from the inner circle, becoming less and less. Though you would still go out on missions, but for the most part you’d ask Rhys to send you out by yourself. As you started to lock yourself inside your room and away from the people you cared about they didn’t seem to notice. That hurt the most, that you had just disappeared from their lives.
Currently you were in the autumn court, Eris had become the new heir of the Court after his father’s untimely demise. Your friends were around but you paid no mind to them, you had drink after drink until you were drunk enough to hopefully not remember anything the following morning. You looked around the court, Azriel was in the center smiling and dancing with Elain.
Right then and there your heart had officially been torn to pieces. And to make the blow worse you believed that everything that had happened between you and Azriel had been your fault. You had waited too long and now you’d never get a chance to tell him how you felt. Taking a long exhale you grabbed another glass of wine and exited out of the room heading outdoors.
You tumbled down the steps slightly eventually sitting down on one of them, then you dropped your body the rest of the way and stared up at the stars with nothing but a blank gaze as tears cascaded down your face and into your hair. You had tried so hard not to cry but seeing Azriel happy with someone who wasn’t you made it that much worse. A figure stood in front of you glancing down at you.
“I would’ve thought that everyone from the Night Court liked to party.” Eris Vanserra’s voice ran through your ears. The newly appointed High Lord was staring down at you.
“I guess I’m not in the mood for a party.” You mumbled, staring past him.
“Pity.” He paused, wanting nothing more than to stop the tears falling from your face. Eris had known since the High Lord meeting to fight against Hybern that you were his mate. When you had walked into the room and looked at him he had felt the golden thread of the bond tie his soul to yours. But it seemed nothing had snapped for you. It had been 5 years since then, 5 years too long in his eyes. “You look rather divine if I say so myself.”
“You’re compliments won’t do anything to cheer me up.”
Eris moved down the steps, then he held his hand out to you. “Walk with me, my darling fox.”
You grabbed his hand but held a glare on your face. “I’m not your darling fox, don’t call me that.”
The male only smiled as the moonlight highlighted his features. “You say that now, sweetheart.”
You released a groan walking past the High Lord. No matter what you heard about Eris, you couldn’t seem to hate him and you didn’t understand why. When the two of you were far enough from the party Eris shrugged off his cold exterior.
“Why don’t you come stay in my court for a while.” Eris said, showing his compassionate side to you. Shock seemed to wash over your face as you stared at him.
“What? Why?” You rushed out.
“Do those you consider friends really care about you?” He asked a serious look in his amber eyes. “Do they know that you're struggling, that you feel so alone, that the male that you love is not interested in you?” The way he had mentioned Azriel was off putting to you. Like he was upset that you were in love with another male that wasn’t him. But why, is what you wanted to know.
“My burdens are not theirs to bear, they are not yours to bear. We barely know each other.”
“I don’t need to know you to feel your pain, little fox.” Eris lifted a hand and moved a strand of your hair behind your pointed ear. The touch was enough to cause your heart to stutter in your chest,
“How can you feel my pain?”
He sighed, looking away. “You’re my mate, Y/N.” The words were soft and so low you almost didn’t hear him speak it.
“What?” He could hear the confusion in your voice as you stared at him.
Eris didn’t want to repeat himself because he needed to get it off his chest, he needed you to know even if you hadn’t felt the bond, even if there might be a chance that you’d reject it. He couldn’t wake up everyday anymore and feel your pain. He wanted to help, he wanted to be there for you to show you that you're not alone no matter what you think.
“You. Are. My. Mate.” He had paused in between the words and had also stepped closer to you. Your breath hitched in your throat when he grasped your fingers and held them between his. And as if he had spoken it into existence you felt the gold thread tie you to Eris. When he gave a tug on the bond a choked sob left your mouth.
You surprised yourself when you wrapped your hands around the male’s waist and pulled him into a hug. More tears had started to roll down your face as he hugged you back just as tightly. When you pulled back slightly to look up at him he lifted his hand to wipe away the tears.
“What does this mean?” You asked.
“You can stay in the Night Court if that’s what you wish, I won’t force this on you. But I’d like a chance for you to get to know me better. To know the real me and not the cold distant male you’ve met a handful of times.”
“Okay.” You paused, staring into his beautiful eyes. “And when I’m ready to accept the bond?”
“When you’re one day ready to accept it we can hold whatever ceremony you’d like. But I’d only request that you come stay with me here in the Autumn Court. Only after will you be my High Lady. You’ll rule with me by my side, I will not force you to bear my heir, all of that will be your decision. All of this will be yours to choose.”
You nodded your head. “I might need a few days to think about the offer.”
“Very well my little fox.” You rolled your eyes at the male.
───── ❝ ◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸ ❞ ─────
You had traveled back to the Night Court, after that night. Upon returning you felt a little less alone. You thought that the idea of Eris being your mate would scare you, but in truth it excited you. Looking at the supposed friendships, you started to think that maybe it was time to leave. You wanted to know Eris more and eventually accept the bond. You just needed time to adjust to the idea of leaving.
In the weeks that you’d returned home no one had made an effort to see where you’d gone that night. Not even Azriel. Suddenly you no longer felt sad about him not loving you. But it still hurt. The way they had all treated you had hurt. Currently you were on a mission by yourself, Rhys had sent you to a village to see if any danger lie there.
In hindsight you should’ve brought someone with you. But that mistake cost you everything. You’d swore to yourself to keep the village safe from whatever danger loomed over it. But when the fairies appeared and took you out, they had killed every villager. Silence surrounded you, you had blacked out and managed to winnow back home.
Eris could feel your panic, sorrow, fear, and sadness down the bond. You landed in the center of your room, blood covered the entirety of your body and you don’t remember what had happened. All you knew is that whoever had killed the villagers were dead. Screams of pain left your mouth, but to you they were muffled. This mission has truly broken you. The door to your bedroom opened, there stood Azriel.
Rhys and Feyre right behind him. While they were trying to get you to calm down and stop the screams that fell off your lips. All the while you started to call for your mate.
“Eris please.” You had whispered in your mind.
“I’m on my way little fox.” He whispered back.
When Azriel got close enough that he could touch you, you flinched, backing away from him. “Don’t touch me.” You had angrily whispered. You could see the hurt on his face but you didn’t have the mental capacity to focus on that, your mind was still on all the children who had died on your hands, all the parents that had been slaughtered, all the elders that were killed. They were all on your hands.
“Y/N, tell me what happened.” Azriel said, hoping he could get something before Rhys or Feyre entered your mind.
“Now you care.” Those were the only words that came from your mouth before Rhys entered your mind. Your shields were down and he had been able to discover everything. You tried to push the High Lord out of your mind but it had been too much. So much so that when he left your mind you collapsed to the ground. You feel asleep the nightmares of what you witnessed following you.
Rhys had shown both Feyre and Azriel what had happened on the mission. He however refused to show Azriel that Eris had been your mate. He would respect your privacy on that. As for everything else, he should’ve seen the signs that you were pulling away, and after this mission he knew you’d leave and never return. They had all pushed you and now they had lost you.
Cassian appeared, Eris standing with him, a scared look on his face as he looked down at you unconscious. Azriel clenched his jaw, staring at the male.
“What’s he doing here?” Azriel went on to ask.
“I’m here to take my mate home.” Eris answered as he walked towards your body that was still covered in blood.
“You’re her mate?” The words left Azriel’s mouth before he could stop them.
Eris only ignored him, he picked your body up and held you in his arms. Then he turned back to Rhys, a glare on his face. The stone cold looked never leaving even as Rhys spoke to him.
“You can do the one thing that we all failed at. You can take care of Y/N and be there. Just promise that she comes to visit.” Rhys said, his voice broken as he said it.
“I will try my best. But you all betrayed her. You know she shouldn’t have gone on a mission in this state and yet you sent her anyway, now look where it’s gotten her.” Eris turned to look at Azriel. “And you, I didn’t want to tell her that I was her mate because I thought she deserved better than me. I thought maybe Y/N would be good with you, she loved you. But you broke her heart and now you’ve lost her for good. I will make this very clear shadowsinger. You are only allowed in my Court if your High Lord or High Lady is present, if not you are banned from entering the Autumn court even if you try to talk to Y/N. If you step foot on my court without either Rhys or Feyre present you will be killed.”
Eris looked at Rhys and Feyre who gave him a nod of understanding. Before Azriel could argue Eris winnowed out heading back to the Autumn Court to clean you up. Azriel looked at his High Lord and Lady.
“You’re going to honor what that male said?” Azriel asked, staring at the two.
“It’s not like we have a choice in the matter. I told you that she loved you, we all did and you ignored her when she was hurting. We all did, and none of us will ever be able to make up for that. But you should’ve told her that you didn’t like her that way. Instead you dragged her on like she was a lost puppy.” Rhys paused, taking control of the power inside himself. “I sensed that Eris was her mate and that’s why she came to the coronation for Eris. I shouldn’t have sent her on that mission but she needed to be with Eris and this was the only way, the only way for her to be truly happy. Because if she had done something I would’ve never forgiven myself and Eris would’ve never forgiven us. We would lose an ally for any future war. So yes, Feyre and I will be honoring what he has asked. You will not step foot on Autumn land unless one or both of us is with you. If you go against our orders your fate will be left in Eris’ hands.”
“Fine.” Azriel stormed out leaving to figure out what had just happened.
───── ❝ ◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸ ❞ ─────
You woke up a few days later. When you came to you looked around the room until your eyes fell on your mate. He was sitting in a chair, asleep. You groaned slightly as you lifted yourself up from the bed. Eris opened his eyes and found you staring at him.
“Hello, little fox.” He whispered, a smirk gracing his lips.
“How long have I been out?” You asked quickly, smiling internally at the nickname. You still weren’t ready to accept it but it was starting to win you over, especially after he had rescued you.
“A week. I had a healer take a look at the injuries you got on that mission. They were healed.” He answered. You eyed him as he stood from the chair and walked over to the bed, he sat down on the edge and reached for one of your hands.
“I’m sorry.” You looked away from him as the words left your lips.
“No. What happened is not your fault. Don’t apologize, I will always come to rescue you no matter what.” For the first time in 5 years you finally understood what it was like to have someone in your corner.
“What, um, what happened after I passed out?”
“Rhysand wants you to still visit. I told him I’d try my best but I know right now that’s not the best for you. I banned Azriel from my court, our court when you’re ready to run it by my side. He’s only allowed to step foot in this land if Rhysand or Feyre is with him. I will not let him hurt you again, ever.”
Your lips trembled, how could someone you’ve barely known done so much for you. Eris had done just that, had done enough to make sure you're safe and secure in your new home. You wished he’d show this side more to the other high lords, either way you were so lucky to call him your mate. Even if you hadn’t accepted it yet.
“Thank you.” Eris nodded his head, eventually he rested his forehead against yours and the two of you closed your eyes and enjoyed each other’s company.
───── ❝ ◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸ ❞ ─────
It had been a year since you’d left the Night Court and joined the Autumn Court. You became a part of the Autumn Court a month after your arrival, it had been tough to get used to but you eventually found peace. You had picked up a part time job as a librarian to keep you busy when Eris was away for his High Lord responsibilities.
After some time you and Eris had alone time. You had cooked a meal for him and that had been your way of accepting the mating bond. Two weeks later you had a mating ceremony for the Court. You married Eris and became High Lady of the Autumn Court. Word had been spread to the other courts, and you had received plenty of congratulations.
Even ones from those you used to consider friends. For the entire year you had managed to heal yourself with the help of your mate, your husband. And you were ready to forgive all of them including Azriel. Especially now that you would be a mother. Currently you sat in the bathing waters with a hand on your bump, you were 8 months along.
You couldn’t be more excited to get closer to the due date, to be able to welcome your child into the world. Eris was afraid when you had first told him. He was afraid he’d be like his father and torment the babe rather than love it. But you had constantly reminded him that this child would come into the world loved by two parents. You had made it clear to Eris that he was nothing like his father and he had shown that by changing his persona and being there throughout the pregnancy so far.
“How are my girls?” Eris questioned from the bathroom door. You pulled your attention from your bump and looked at the male you were happy to call your husband and mate.
“We’re fine. Very happy.” You paused, sending him a smile and a large amount of happiness down the bond, he of course smiled at you. Then he walked towards you holding his hand to you. You took it and he helped you from the tub. “Must I remind you that we are going to have a son.” Your smile only brightened. You were certain you’d have a son first, where Eris was certain you’d have a daughter first.
“We shall know when our child comes into this world.”
“And it’ll be the happiest day to be able to hold him or her in our arms.” Eris rested his head on yours. The two of you take in each other's emotions. Finally you parted and helped you get changed into a dress that had been altered to fit your growing bump. You two stood in front of the mirror, Eris had his hands resting on your stomach, yours were on top of his.
“Are you ready for tonight?” He asked, concerning washing from his lips.
“I am. This is a great way to announce the pregnancy of our first heir. And it’ll be good for me to forgive them. It’s the last step in my recovery and I need to do this.” You explained to him.
“Okay. If at any point you get overwhelmed-”
“I know, tell you and we can leave.” You said cutting him off.
“Exactly.” He watched as you turned around in his arms and stared up at him.
“Azriel is no longer banned from our Court.” Your words caught him off guard but he knew to expect them.
“Are you positive?”
“Yes, if he wishes to visit without Feyre and Rhys then he should be able to. I don��t love him anymore and I’m no longer bothered by the way he treated me and the fact that he didn’t love me. Without him I wouldn’t have found you, I wouldn’t be growing our child. I wouldn’t have the family I was always supposed to have. It’s because of him that I get to love you and will continue to love until the Mother decides it’s my time to leave. Azriel is the reason behind all of this and it’s not fair to keep him from our Court.”
Eris smiled at your words. “Very well. My High Lady has a say in his punishment and if that’s what you are okay with then I will stand by your side as you tell them.” You gave a small shake of your head. “Now we have guests waiting for us, I don’t think we should keep them waiting.”
“No we shouldn’t.”
You interlaced your fingers with your husband’s and the two of you walked out of your chambers heading to the throne room where the other High Lords and High Ladies waited. You’d even known Tamlin would be there. He was still making amends for what he did in the past but a few months ago you’d learned that the Spring Lord had discovered his mate.
She had been helping Tamlin with his recovery and helping him to be a better male. Lucien had been able to build his friendship with the male again, and you were there to help. You were also there when Lucien found out that Helion was his father. Everyone was healing and you couldn’t be more proud of the things all of you had accomplished since Eris had taken over as the High Lord in Autumn.
With you by his side things were moving in the direction they needed. The doors opened for the two of you, instantly eyes fell onto you and Eris. Your grip on your mate's hand got tighter as the two of you walked past your guest heading towards your throne. He squeezed back, assuring you that everything was okay.
Keeping your head held high, you had a hand resting on your bump protectively as the other High Lords and Ladies and the guest they might’ve brought with them stared at your bump. After making it to the steps you and Eris turned looking at everyone.
“My wife and I wanted to thank you all for being here. Please enjoy the food, drinks, and have fun dancing.” Eris said, a smile on his face. Everyone was still getting used to this new side of Eris but they trusted you, and because they trusted you they could trust him.
Eris helped you sit down on the throne, then he took a seat on the armrest next to you. Rhysand and Feyre walked up with Azriel behind them but at a distance.
“Y/N. It’s so good to see you again.” Feyre stated with a smile on her lips. You smiled back.
“You’re glowing.” Rhysand added.
“Thank you. Eris and I are so excited to meet our little bundle in the coming weeks.” You said, briefly glancing at Azriel. He was staring at you.
“How have you been?” Feyre proceeded to ask.
“I’m doing better.” You looked to Eris, he gave you a nod and squeezed your shoulder softly. You reached for his hand and held it in your hands. Azriel took note of the wedding bands that were on your left hand. He noticed Eris had one too. “I actually wanted to discuss the banning of your Shadowsinger from our court.”
“We apologize if this has caused any discomfort for you.” Rhysand said, his violet eyes switching between you and Eris.
“No it hasn’t. Firstly I’m sorry that it’s taking me so long to speak with all of you. I was in pain and was trying to heal. Eris, he’s helped a lot in my healing journey. And so has our child. I’d like to have family dinners with you again, as long as Eris is welcome.”
Feyre and Rhysand glanced at each other, you know they were having a silent conversation with each other. Finally they looked back at you and Eris.
“We’d like that very much.” Feyre said with a soft smile on her face. You released a breath, Eris sent a wave of love down the bond. You knew he was proud of you and it was showing.
“Secondly, Azriel, could you please step forward so that I may speak with you.”
He gave a nod and moved in between Feyre and Rhysand until he was in front of them. His shadows were moving around his body, he seemed happier as you looked at him. Maybe some kind of change had come his way after you’d left. You knew he wasn’t with Elain because she was with Lucien right now.
A few months ago she had accepted the bond between them after she herself had found what made her happy. She learned to accept the bond and with it Lucien. You’d hoped that maybe Azriel had found his mate too.
“I know that you were never in love with me the way I was. I only wished you’d told me how you felt. That being said, thank you.”
“Thank you?” Azriel asked, hazel eyes narrowing in you as confusion filled his normally emotionless face. Feyre and Rhysand also stared at you with confused looks.
“If you had told me that you loved me I would’ve never found my mate. I wouldn’t be married to Eris, I wouldn’t be High Lady of Autumn, it’s still a shock even now. And I wouldn’t be carrying our child right now. Because of you I found everything I needed. I found my home, my purpose. I learned to heal myself even after everything I’ve gone through. I hope that you find a mate one day.”
Azriel took a moment to process your words. “I have, she’s wonderful.” He said. He turned slightly looking at Rhys. Then he looked back at you and Eris. “She’s here, would you like to meet her?”
You nodded enthusiastically, years ago you would’ve been sad and jealous that he hadn’t noticed you but now it was different. Now you were happy and you could see that he had to.
“Will you help me up, dear?” You asked, looking at Eris. He smiled at you.
“Of course, little fox.” You smiled at the nickname as he helped you from the seat.
The two of you walked down the steps. When you were close enough you pulled Feyre into a hug. She hugged you back tightly. Then you moved over to Rhysand and hugged him tightly. Seconds later Azriel came back with a female by his side. Cassian, Nesta, Amren and Mor were also with him.
“They wanted to see you too.” Azriel mentioned. Hugs went around quickly, then your eyes landed on the female Azriel had brought over. You took a closer look at her and noticed the bright blue eyes. “This is Gwyneth, my mate.” The smile that broached his face made you happy. Lucien and Elain joined at some point, he sent a nod towards you and Eris.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you from everyone.” She said, holding her hand out towards you.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” You told her your name as you shook her hand. “Eris is my mate, and this is our little bean.” You said holding onto your bump. Eris was behind you with a smile on his face.
“A happy reunion. Does this mean you’ll come visit now?” Mor asked eyes on you.
“Yes it does. And you are more than welcome to visit here as much as you like.” You paused looking at Azriel as sadness seemed to cross his face for a brief moment. “None of that.” You said.
“What?” Azriel asked you.
“Azriel, Shadowsinger, you are hereby welcomed back to the Autumn court whenever you please. You’re no longer banned from our home.”
“And you’re okay with this?” Azriel asked, looking at the High Lord.
“My High Lady’s word is power and if she grants it then we are to follow it.” Eris answered.
“Very well.”
Relief washed over you when Azriel accepted your request. “Let’s enjoy this party, shall we?” You said pulling your husband towards the dance floor. The others followed behind you. As you danced with your family you looked up at Eris.
“Are you happy?” He asked spinning you around and pulling you back to his chest.
“So happy.” You answered, resting your head on his chest.
“Good. You deserve it.”
───── ❝ ◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸ ❞ ─────
A few weeks later you and Eris welcomed your son into the world. Currently you held onto the sleeping babe as your friends started to arrive at your home to meet the newborn. You looked down at your son, truly content with the life you had right now. You could hear the laughter in your home and it had been so long since you felt a part of it.
Azriel made his way up to you first, Eris allowing you time to talk to him. You looked at the Shadowsinger when he came to a stop next to you. A smile graced your lips when he looked down at your son.
“Would you like to hold him, Az?” You asked, using a nickname you hadn’t used in a long time.
“I’d be honored, Y/N.” He smiled brightly. You leaned forward shifting the babe into Azriel’s arms. His scarred hands tightened, as he held onto the babe. His shadows moved towards the babe, almost as if they were protecting your son.
“I think you’d make a fine Uncle.” You said, lifting your gaze to Azriel. He was staring at you with shock in his hazel eyes. “I don’t want what happened in the past to define our future. Nova, he deserves to have a happy family. And I want you to be a part of that just as much as everyone else that’s here.”
“As long as I can teach him how to fight.” Azriel said excitedly.
“I wouldn’t expect anything less, but Nova has a few years before he’s ready for that.”
“Very well.” As the night moved on and everyone met Nova you realized that it had been so long since you felt this content, this happy. You had your new family and your old family.
“You deserve to be happy, don’t forget that my love.” Eris said in your mind as a wave of love flew down the bond.
“How can I forget when you're constantly reminding me?” You remarked with a smile.
“And I’ll continue to remind you until the Mother decides to take me away from you. But I promise that I’ll find you in every lifetime.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
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