#Cleaner Master

[rapidhighway]

trying to show you the absolute cinema i had the pleasure of watching in tonights dream. We could’ve had it all

[shanklin]

September 5th, 2034, 11:45 pm

Town Cemetery

Gravity Falls, Oregon

Two men stood over the freshly dug graves of Gravity Falls' most notorious citizens. Mabel and Dipper Pines have been a natural part of town just like the forest, the mountains and the lake, so it has come to a surprise to everyone when they passed away just a couple hours apart from each other. If you had told anyone in town a week ago that the Pines would be able to die at all, they would've scoffed at the suggestion.

Those old coots dying? As unlikely as finding a manotaur in a dress. The weirdness has taken a hold of the Pines. Gravity Falls will not allow them to die.

And yet they did die, quietly and uneventful in their sleep. The whole town came to the funeral, be it their friends or enemies, partially to say their goodbyes and partially to see if it was really true or if they would join the many zombies that used to roam the cemetery before their great nephew and last known living relative got rid of them all that one summerween.

"Are you sure this is necessary?" the skinnier man asked and looked around, his body twitching at every noise and gust of wind. The other man smiled and put a hand on the skinny man's shoulder.

"You're a good friend, Fiddleford. I appreciate you staying with me today, but you don't have to be here for this."

The skinny man, Fiddleford, clutched his arms and looked away.

"B-But what if you get hurt, Stanford? I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

STAN ford? STANford STAN STAN STANLEY STANLEY WHERE IS STANLEY?

The wind howled and Fiddleford jumped.

"I assure you, old friend, they are perfectly harmless. I'll just make sure their spirits will move on peacefully. Please go and wait in the car. I'll join you shortly."

The man's black trenchcoat fluttered in the wind revealing glimmering sigils in the moonlight.

After a long pause Fiddleford finally nodded and turned to leave.

"Be quick." He demanded and Stanford waved him goodbye.

"I will." He replied, his smile firmly in place until his friend was no longer in sight and the squeaking of the gate echoed through the night.

Stanford turned back to the graves and pulled a couple of candles, two letters and an old antique watch out of his coat. He looked at the watch and seemed to count. What exactly, they weren't sure as the hands were missing on the dial. The watch snapped shut with a loud click and Stanford hurried to light the candles and place them in a triangle around the letters.

They knew the letters and they screamed. Those weren't the man's letters. They belonged to the one that looked the same but wasn't. Those letters belonged to the little boy they lost. To the one they hurt. To the one that took a part of their soul with him when he left.

STAN STAN YOU'RE NOT STAN WHERE IS STANLEY?

They raged and the trees bent under their anger. Branches fell to the ground and the thief held up his arms to protect his head.

NOT YOURS NOT YOURS WHERE IS STANLEY

The thief took a candle, mumbled something under his breath and blew it out.

The pain was instant and all consuming. They screamed once more but their control got ripped away from them and the storm faded.

The thief kneeled down in front of their graves and rubbed his eyes.

"I see you've calmed down now."

CALMED DOWN? THEY ARE NOT CALM THEIR SOULS HAVEN'T BEEN CALM SINCE THE BOY DISAPPEARED REGRET SO MUCH REGRET THE LETTERS BELONG TO THE BOY THEY NEED TO APOLOGIZE.

The remaining two candles flickered and cast shadows on the letters they wrote before their bodies started to rot. The boy is still lost. Their soul is incomplete. They need to wait for the boy, they need to find the boy and make it better. If they just found the boy they could make it better. They could fix their mistakes.

"I found the letters you wrote to Stan. I'm afraid those are what's been keeping you here."

STAN STAN STAN STAN THE LETTERS ARE FOR STAN FOR THEIR LITTLE BOY

HE NEEDS TO KNOW

The candles flickered and the impostor sighed.

"I will tell him everything you wrote down when I find him. I promise, but the letters need to go. They shackled your souls to the mortal realm."

Stanford took another candle and shivered as they tried to grab it and went through his living body.

Ancient words left his mouth and he blew out another candle.

The pain was worse the second time. Endless torture as the outer layer of what was once the feeling of their body got peeled away and their vulnerable souls got exposed and ripped out of their intestines.

"Show yourself!" A voice demanded, but the agony made it impossible to form a thought. "Please." It continued.

PLEASE PLEASE MAKE IT STOP PLEASE GIVE US PEACE MERCY THE BOY THE BOY STAN STANLEY MAKE IT STOP!

Two dim lights formed in front of their torturer. They squirmed and flickered in fear as the man drew closer and smiled with tears in his eyes.

"Thank you for showing yourself to me. I know this is difficult, especially at your level."

It hurt so much.

The man picked up the letters and touched their bleeding souls. His hands were vile and full of love. Oh, they thought in between the pain. It's their other boy. The one they raised. The one they failed all the same in their grief and self hatred. The one who left in search of his brother and was rarely there to smooth over the edges that formed between them. They loved him back but his hands felt rotten. There was something wrong in his soul, something tainted that should not be there. Has it been their fault as well?

Their light shined brighter at the recognition.

"Grauntie Mabel, Grunkle Dipper", their boy said, sounding much younger than before. He coughed and blinked and picked up the last candle.

"I know things between us haven't been the best ever since Stanley, ever since he left, but I want to tell you that I am grateful and proud to have been raised by the two of you. I'll miss you."

Their boy gave them a teary smile but they barely noticed. The mention of their other boy, the boy they lost, their Stanley agitated their souls once more.

STANLEY STANLEY WHERE IS STANLEY GIVE US BACK OUR BOY OUR LIGHT OUR DEEPEST REGRET DON'T TOUCH THE LETTERS THEY BELONG TO STANLEY EVIL VILE THING DON'T TOUCH US DON'T TOUCH HIM STANLEY

They screamed once more through the pain and the fear and regret, but their powers have been sealed so all they could do is glow brighter and hope it will be enough.

Their boy wiped away his tears and straightened.

"I love you too." He said and held the last candle against the letters. The flames licked at the paper and they burned alive. It was pure destruction and agony. Their very being was turning into ash and they were helpless to stop it.

Everything was red hot hellish pain and then, suddenly, there was peace. Blue gentle flames cooled their burns and what little was left of their souls. They leaned into the touch and opened their senses.

Their destroyer yelped as the fire eating the letters turned icy and engulfed them into a strong protective layer. He looked up and saw the figure of a man leaning against one of the gravestones.

The man snapped his fingers and the burning letters vanished from out of their destroyer's hands and reappeared in his own. He inspected them with disinterest and scoffed before putting them into his coat.

SAFE SAFE HE IS SAFE

They circled the man with their dim lights and made sure to stay close.

"Pretty sure those letters aren't yours, Sixer."

Their destroyer's eyes widened.

"Stanley?" He whispered, but it might as well have been a shout as the name enlightened their souls.

STANLEY STANLEY STANLEY THEY FOUND STANLEY HE IS SAFE SAFE THEIR BOY IS SAFE

"Oh wow. So you still know my name. And here I thought you forgot considering how you were just about to burn my property."

The man with Stanley's face, their other boy, they have to remember that, rose from the ground and took a shaky step forward.

"You're alive."

"More or less." Stanley deadpanned and clapped his hands. "Well it was nice catching up with you. See you around. Or not." Their boy cocked his head and shrugged. His voice was nonchalant, but so close to him they could feel the tenseness.

Their other boy moved closer, undeterred. He reached out but Stanley moved back.

"Don't leave. I - I've been looking everywhere for you for the past 20 years. Please stay."

Their other boy stopped moving when he saw Stanley evade him, but his hands stayed slightly raised.

Stanley let out a hollow laugh.

"Well you should've looked for me sooner."

THEY SHOULD'VE THEY SHOULD'VE LOOKED SOONER SHOULD'VE CARED SOONER THEY'RE GUILTY THEY KILLED THEIR LITTLE BOY WHY DID THEY LET HIM GO WHY WHY THEY'RE SORRY THEY'RE SORRY THEY NEED TO APOLOGIZE READ THE LETTER STANLEY STANLEY STANLEY

"I am sorry, Stanley." Their other boy's voice cracked and they all knew it wasn't enough. It would never be enough.

"Good for you." Stanley said as they kept screaming their apologies into empty ears. Their lights flickered around their boys and illuminated them under the cloudy night sky.

A golden fish like symbol on Stanley's blood red coat lit up and their other boy retracted his hands in shock.

"Why are you wearing the order’s crest?"

Stanley rolled his eyes. "Take a guess, Poindexter."

"They're murderers." Their other boy pleaded as the clock struck twelve.

"So am I." Stanley spat back, causing their other boy to flinch.

"But you knew that already, didn't you? You've been hunting us down for more than ten years now."

Their other boy shook his head as Stanley continued.

"Playing dumb doesn't suit you, Sixer. You knew I killed Pa. And you knew I've killed others. I've been an active member of the order for two decades now. Everyone knows that."

Their other boy shook his head once more.

"I know you're lying. I know there's more to this."

He took a step into Stanley's direction and tried to close the distance between them.

"Is it blackmail? Did they curse you? Did you make a bad deal that you can't back out of?"

Stanley snorted. "What? Like you did?"

Their other boy ignored the remark.

"Whatever it is, I can help. I can keep you safe from those monsters."

Stanley's tenseness turned into blinding rage and he pulled their other boy forward by his collar.

"Those monsters are my family and I won't let you or your master hurt them ever again."

Stanley threw their other boy to the ground and glared at him.

"Stanley, you don't understand. They've brainwashed you."

"They've saved me." Stanley replied as the sound of the last church bell faded to nothing.

"I've got to go. Tell your master the hunt is on."

Stanley opened his jacket and their tired burned and broken souls nestled near his heart.

"Stanley, please. Wait!"

Their other boy shouted, but the noise grew faint as they closed their senses to rest.

Their Stanley, this missing part of their souls, turned on his heels and burst into flames leaving only ash and the distant sound of a motorcycle behind.

---

This was supposed to be a short drabble to get rid of my writer's block. As usual I wrote more than I meant to.

I'll use this fic as writing practice and will write more whenever I'm stuck with something else.

You can find and follow it HERE on Ao3 if you want to read more in the future, but don't expect fast or regular updates please :)

And of course, it's techically part of the

Selfish Shellfish AU - Masterpost

though no knowledge of that one is required.

[wildflowercryptid]

finally sketched up the design for my smeargle evo, mastsmear, that i talked about a year ago!

[6ad6ro]

[mikurulucky]

Another headcanon about my f/o

Tochiro's never been good with cleaning his living space. He occasionally has the urge to clean in short bursts of motivation, and HE specifically has to be the one to clean his room, otherwise he won't know where everything is.

But even if he's the one cleaning his room, he tends to struggle to find anything after cleaning his room. He also finds it to be kind of a pointless endeavor anyway because it just gets messy again and organized chaos > not being able to find anything.

Miime once cleaned his room as a surprise after his birthday. At first, he was a bit perplexed but unbothered until he struggled to find his journal, books, and ramen packs. He barged into the main deck and was like "WHICH ONE OF Y'ALL WERE IN MY ROOM?!! I CAN'T FIND A DAMNED THING!!" After that, he made sure no one entered his room without permission.... and installed a lock on his door in the Arcadia.

He outright stopped cleaning his room, only making sure things are easy to find, once he was diagnosed with space disease. He's gotta save the energy for when he really needs it, plus he still has HELLA executive dysfunction either way, so.

Whenever he doesn't have his own bedroom to himself in various timelines, he at least has a workshop to himself that's equally as messy and cluttered as his room in other timelines. Case in point, his workshop on the Arcadia in Endless Orbit SSX/Albator 84.

[calico-kiwi]

i have been learning taekwondo for ALMOST A YEAR ALREADY so how come it wasn’t until LITERALLY TODAY it dawned on me I can now use my newly acquired fighting knowledge to WRITE COOL AND BETTER FIGHT SCENES FOR MARIBAT OH MY GOOOODDDD IVE LITERALLY BEEN TOO AFRAID TO REALLY WRITE FIGHT SCENES BUT THIS IS LIKE SO PERFECT

anyways catch me daydreaming abt writing maribat stuff again, hopefully we can turn the daydreaming into daydoing (or maybe nightdoing)

[pyra-colony-au]

i need to start putting together a proper timeline and maybe get around to drawing some comics + i’m thinking making this multi-media to include some epistolary stuff/letters between characters? bc megop pen pals… and Megatron would want to send letters to Impactor and Kiloton while she’s on Cybertron and they’re still on Pyra

[brukon]

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[saltywerewolfcrown]

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[oifaaa]

My boy Aang really got a guided tour of the inequality happening in Ba Sing Se and said "I have a war to deal with I'll let the next avatar deal with this shit"

I know I was joking the other day about Korra but I do fear it should be common knowledge at this point that all avatars are just causing messes the next avatars after have to clean up and yes that very much includes Aang

[mylonelylife135]

My Pathetic Family

The first.

.

.

.

You didn't remember much of your father as a baby.

You didn't hear so much of his voice. See his smile. Feel his hands guiding you towards him as you had taken your first steps.

No.

It was Alfred.

It was Alfred's voice you first heard, Alfred's kind face you saw when you first opened your eyes, Alfred's hands that were held out towards you as you stumbled towards him and falling into his warm embrace.

Your first words were addressing Alfred as 'Da!'

The only good one in this god forsaken family that you didn't want to hurt, his love was unconditional.

Bruce? his love was... You didn't know. You've seen his figure around in his room when he sometimes left it open. You sometimes heard his voice when he was he and Alfred would talk very loudly the room would feel suffocating, even for someone as young as yourself at the time.

After those conversations, you would see Bruce even less.

You didn't remember his face. You don't think you've ever seen it.

All you knew was that he probably looked somewhat like you. You didn't look much like Alfred, no matter how much you tried to find similarities in both your appearances.

You didn't understand the why Bruce was gone so often. it didn't matter if you were playing with toys in your bedroom, learning the letters of the alphabet with Alfred, reading beginners books about ants with Alfred and he would praise you on how you're such a quick learner, or walks to the park to play on the swings- Bruce was never there.

Only Alfred.

You were starting to wonder why Bruce was even here, he didn't even do anything.

That was until one day when Alfred woke you up, made you a bath despite your complaints, put you in a cute purple dress and brushed your hair to look nice. He didn't usually do this unless it was a special occasion. It wasn't your birthday, though.

"Al, why am I dwe-dress all pw-pretty?" You asked, your eyes staring up at the butler as he knelt down to your height to put a small bow hairclip in your hair.

"You are going to be meeting someone special today, (____). I have a feeling that you both will both have lots of fun together as you get older."

You weren't sure what Alfred was talking about until you were led to the living room. A spacious room with two large red couches, a fluffy carpet, a nice wooden table and TV... You didn't really come in this room often, other than when Alfred cleaned it and you sprayed surface cleaner on everything you could see to help.

This time, however, it was not so empty.

It was Bruce, his hand in a kid's that was maybe seven or eight years older than you. "(____), this is Richard. He will be living with us from now on. Think of him as your new older brother." Brother?

Three year old you was dumbfounded, your eyes looking up and seeing Bruce's deep blue ones. His chiseled features and raven hair-

Why did you have to look the same?

Your silent staring might have made Bruce uncomfortable, as he coughed and continued, "I know this is sudden but I hope that you both will adjust well to eachother."

Your grip on Alfred's pants tightened, glancing upwards to meet your new older brother's gaze.

The same eyes as Bruce, same hair almost the exact same features.

He looked like him, too.

"Hi."

"H-Hey..."

It seemed like your new brother was nervous, shy, withdrawn. Sad.

It reminded you of a kid who was getting pushed around at the park by older kids.

It stuck with you how no one helped the kid.

Did he need helping, too?

"I will have a bedroom set up for you, Master Dick. In the meantime, you and (____) can get to know eachother." Alfred said, your grip slipping away as Alfred would walk off, Bruce going with him as the door shut and you and Dick were standing there in the living room.

Your eyes looked towards the door, wanting to call out to Alfred and say both didn't have snacks-

There was tea and cookies on the table.

"Do you want to pw-play?"

"Uh, no, not really."

"Ok."

"..."

You were used to being told no. Alfred couldn't be around all the time and did have duties, like to Bruce.

It wasn't that bad playing by yourself alone, sometimes it was fun.

"...Are you my sibling? a real one?"

"No, I'm not." Richard crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes staring down at you with a flicker of annoyance.

You remember seeing an adult do that when scolding a dog.

Was he angry?

"You aren't?" You tilted your head, your voice full of confusion. You could see his face get all wrinkly.

"Then why did Daddy bw-bring you home?" You were taught by Alfred that it was good to be curious, to learn more about your surroundings and people to make friends since you were struggling or something.

"You don't need to know that." His posture was rigid.

"Why?" What was so wrong with asking? you wanted to know more about your new sibling.

"Because I don't want to talk about it." His hands clenched.

"Why?" No means no, but Alfred did say to get to know eachother-

"BECAUSE I SAID SO! Maybe you should learn to mind your own business." Richard yelled, his voice full of agitation and anger before storming off and out of the living room and slamming the door loudly.

Your hands were clenched to your shirt as you watched him leave, eyes wide.

You didn't understand why he got so mad. You wanted to get along with him.

You didn't know what was more pathetic, the fact that Richard got pissed off by a three year old or that you once wanted to have a close relationship.

You watched the door with slightly shaky breaths and teary eyes before going to sit down on the couch, reaching your small arms over and grabbing a cookie to munch on it.

You didn't really like your new sibling. He seemed angry and mean.

You didn't think that Alfred was right.

This wasn't going to be fun.

.

.

.

Relationship Status!

Bruce Wayne (Your father): 5/100 -You don't know your daddy well, it's weird calling him daddy.

-You only do so because Alfred said that you weren't his dad, it was Bruce.

-It feels weird staring at your daddy. You didn't really like that you looked similar.

Alfred Pennyworth: 80/100 -You wish he was your dad instead.

-You like clinging to him all the time since you're homeschooled.

(NEW character!) Richard Grayson: -5/100

-He's kind of mean.

-Why did he yell at you?

-What was so special about him?

[bloodibambiidoll]

Nasty Girl ⟡˖ Older!Rafe Cameron x Perv!Reader ⟡˖

✰ Rafe is an arrogant dick, over a decade older than you and your dad’s boss, you shouldn’t want anything to do with him. So why can’t you stay away? ✰

۶♡ৎ This is a request from my angel @babygorewhore I love you sm, this one’s for you pookie ۶♡ৎ

✰ Age gap (Rafe is early 40s reader is mid 20s), Obsessive behaviors, perverted acts involving panties, gagging, choking, spit kink, daddy kink, unprotected sex, pussy slapping, pillow humping, pussy eating, cum eating, size kink 18+MNDI ✰

You can’t stand Rafe Cameron. And the fact that you’re so obsessed with him only makes you hate him more. No matter how much you hated the way he walked around like he owned the world, or the rotating door of women he brings around, you can’t shake this irresistible pull he has on you. You shouldn’t feel this way, not only is Rafe a huge dick he’s also over a decade older than you and your dad’s boss. It started off small, stealing glances at him every time you visited your dad at work, dressing in your most revealing dresses and skirts to his work events, making off handed comments and brushing past him when there was clearly room to go around. It wasn’t until you caught him in a bathroom with some lanky blonde bent over the counter while noises that resembled a crow left her body that you finally lost it.

You decided to leave the company charity event early, making sure to pass Rafe’s car and leave your tiny pink thong on his side-view mirror. He wouldn’t know they were yours, but he would know that they didn’t belong to the girl he was currently balls deep inside of because you saw her coral thong pushed to the side. After that it was like you couldn’t stop. You started leaving your panties anywhere you’d think Rafe would find them. In his office on his desk or the chair, his car became a favorite, you even managed to loop one around his drink while he wasn’t looking at the country club once. After the first few pairs you started leaving dirty photos of yourself along with them. Not showing your face, of course. Just shots of your ass and tits, always matching the underwear you planned to leave. You thought about maybe just texting or even emailing them to him but your dad gave him both of those things “in case of emergency”. So you decided to do it old school and take photos on your Polaroid. It was sexier that way, anyway.

But you haven’t done anything like what you’re about to do. You’re upstairs with the sound of loud voices all drowned together barely making it through the thick, high floors beneath you. It didn’t take you long to find Rafe’s room. A double door at the end of the long hall with gold ornate knobs was very clearly the master. You also weren’t surprised he had a keypad lock on his door, especially throwing a party like this. Your dad and his coworkers are everyday businessmen to the sivlian eye but behind closed doors they’re into some pretty deep criminal shit. Luckily you already managed to break into his laptop. It was almost too easy, he navigates technology like a grandpa even though he’s only forty. You had a passing thought about teaching him a more efficient way to organize his work laptop but you quickly shut it down. You’re supposed to hate him. Even if you him to fuck you until you can hardly breathe. He had a whole entire document of passwords and key combinations and you may have written all of them down. So you easily slipped inside after entering the numbers on the keypad.

You spent some time looking around and it was about what you expected. Sleek, expensive furniture, no decorations, the white walls bare aside from a random picture of a boat near the window. It's so clean it almost seems like no one lives here but you assume that’s probably due to the cleaners. You go through his drawers, nothing of interest really, unless you count all the clothes you could potentially steal. His bathroom is just as clean as his room and you can’t help but smirk when you notice a full skin care routine sitting on his counter. So vain. But, you can’t deny a man who is invested in his hygiene is extremely sexy. You smell his expensive colognes, his body wash, even his fucking shampoo. You inhale every single one like it’s your drug of choice. Though, you’re sure they smell a million times better on his skin, mixed with his musk.

After spending some time snooping, your focus turns back to the real reason you came in here. You walk into his large walk-in closet and flick on the light. There’s a glass jewelry case in the middle, filled with designer watches, rings, chains, and sunglasses. You approach it and try to pull open the top drawer when you’re met with resistance, you notice another combination lock. But a lightbulb goes off in your head, remembering the key code marked “jewelry case” before pulling out your phone, finding the numbers and unlocking the drawer with a click. The first drawer is, as expected, more jewelry that matches the items in the display case above. The second drawer though, that’s a different story. When you slide it open instead of expensive designer, it’s filled with lace and silk.

Every single pair of your panties you’ve left for him are in this drawer, along with the Polaroids stacked neatly. Upon closer inspection you notice that they’re covered not just in your cum, but his too. It has your pussy nearly dripping, you were already wet from the minute you saw him earlier tonight but now you can feel your slick dripping down your inner thighs, causing them to stick together under your micro dress. You have to practically drag yourself away from the sight of your underwear under lock and key, almost like they’re treasure, covered in a mixture of Rafe's cum and your own.

You look around the rest of the space and the entire span of the closet is lined with his clothes hanging on wracks. One side is clearly business attire and the other is more casual. Though there isn’t a huge difference, you’ve never seen Rafe in jeans and a t-shirt. You can’t decide if the thought is more sexy or comical. It’s hard to imagine him being well, relaxed. You grab a black button up before exiting the closet, undoing the buttons as you go. A thousand dirty fantasies run through your mind as your eyes roam over the king sized bed. But there’s one you can make a reality right now. The whole reason you came in here. You grab one of his silk pillows and wrap his shirt around it before placing it in the middle of the bed. You turn around to grab your Polaroid out of your bag and then crawl onto the mattress, mounting the pillow. You don’t bother taking your fuzzy platform heels off either, he can sleep on the grime from the bottom of your shoes along with the juices from your pussy for all you care.

You start off slow, running your hands along your body, groping your tits through the faux leather of your dress, imagining that they’re Rafe’s much larger hands. It doesn’t take you long to get worked up, your juices starting to make the cloth underneath you slick. You're so wet that when you start to jerk your hips back and forth on the pillow that you practically glide. The lace of your thong gets pulled tighter, adding extra pressure to your puffy clit. Your dress rides up your hips, revealing your ass and the plush of your thighs as your hips start to speed up. Once you start to really get into it you pull your panties to the side and yank the zipper that goes all the way down the front of your dress down your chest so your tits can spill out. You switch up the movement of your hips every few moments, rotating between using the pillow for leverage and running your hands down your body.

You start to get so lost in the throes of pleasure you almost forget where you are entirely until your white sock covered shin smacks against your pink polaroid camera. You smirk to yourself in remembrance as you pluck it from the bed and turn it on. You hold it above yourself while you press your tits together and spread your legs far enough to show your mound on top of his shirt and snap a photo. You take more than one this time, using almost the entire roll taking pictures of your body from various angles. You shove your fingers in your mouth. Take photos of your tiny thong string nestled between your ass. You even take one with his shirt held up between your teeth. That ends up being the last photo because the smell of his cologne hits your nostrils and it has you inhaling deeply while your hips start to subconsciously grind down again.

Rafe practically felt like a madman as he tried for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes to get out of this conversation with your father and their business partner. Every single time he tried to slip away he was pulled back in somehow. But that didn’t stop his eyes from traveling to the tantalizing view on his phone screen every ten seconds. He felt like a cat who caught a mouse it’s been chasing for months. All without even trying. You lead yourself into a trap he didn’t even set and it couldn’t be more fucking perfect. The fact that you had no idea that his entire house was bugged with cameras that he could see directly in the palm of his hand made his cock twitch. Rafe checked his phone the minute he got the notification that someone was unlocking his bedroom door, ready to send security up there to grab a thief. But he was oh so pleasantly surprised when he saw it was you. You weren’t like any of the other girls he’s ever seen in all his time living on this island. Your platform shoes and dark make-up were utterly enticing to him and your bratty attitude made him want to bend you over his knee until you cried. He also knew you were a naughty girl, with a dirty little secret only he knew. Rafe’s obsession for you only grew by the day and now it was at an all time high.

He decided to let it play out for a bit. He watched as you surveyed his blank walls and rummaged through his drawers. Then you made your way into the bathroom and he watched as you greedily inhaled his colognes and body washes. You went into his closet and somehow unlocked his jewelry case. He’d have to figure out how you managed to learn his key codes later. His heartbeat sped up when you reached for the second drawer but the way you looked down at the trophies you had ever so graciously gifted him with elation only made his appetite for you nearly unbearable. What really sent him over the edge though was how you were currently strandling his pillow as you bucked your hips with his shirt held to your nose.

The entire scene had him losing his mind with lust and you just kept taking it further. He watched you pull your tits out, the way you took all those slutty pictures for him and he wished more than anything in the world he could turn his phone up to full volume so he could hear the pretty little moans leaving your lips. He could tell from the avid speed of your hips and the way your eyes are rolled back that you’re close to your end and he’ll be damned if he isn’t there to see it. He finally excuses himself under the guise of having to go to the bathroom and slips up the large staircase with ease.

You're so close. The pace of your hips is so quick that the entire bed shakes underneath you as delicious euphoria is seconds away. You have the corner of Rafe’s shirt grasped tightly in your fist as you hold it up to your nose. The cloth is pulled taunt against your clit just right, drool drips down your chin onto the black material as you take in Rafe’s scent. Heat washes over you and you moan with reckless abandon, too lost in your tidal wave of an orgasm to care if anyone can hear you.

“I knew you were a dirty girl, but this is even better than anything my mind ever could’a dreamed up…” The sound of Rafe’s voice makes you practically scream and you clutch his shirt over your chest on instinct. Your entire body heats as you take in his large form leaning against the closed bedroom door. His arms are crossed and he has probably the most smug smirk you’ve ever seen in your life painted on his face as he looks over at you through hooded eyes.

“Rafe! I - aren’t you supposed to be hosting a party?” You scoff and roll your eyes, clearly trying to change the subject when you’re the one who broke into his room.

“Well… you see…” Rafe stalks over to you like a predator that caught his prey and stops at the end of the bed. He places his large hands on the mattress so he can lean down only inches from your face, his tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip as his eyes travel down your body before connecting with your own. “This little unassuming mouse wandered into my den without even considering that I have eyes on every inch of this house.”

“How - how long have you been watching?” You clutch onto the shirt tighter, hiding your boobs and bare pussy even though he’s already seen both on multiple occasions. Something about him knowing it was you was making you suddenly nervous.

“Oh, sweetheart, I get a notification when someone opens that door… I saw everything. What do we have here?” His eyes are blue fire as they land on the Polaroids and he picks one up with delight before picking up another and another until he’s seen every single one. He sets them aside in a neat stack before abruptly gripping onto the shirt covering you and ripping it down your body with a growl. You gasp in surprise and use your arms to cover your nipples while slamming your legs shut. “Oh, no, none of that. Don’t get all shy on me now, I’ve already seen it all.” Rafe grabs the pillow and pulls it from underneath you causing you to fall backwards on the bed onto your ass. “Would you look at that…” He looks down at the pillow with hungry fascination as a low groan rumbles through his chest. You watch as he runs the pad of his finger through the creamy wetness before bringing it to his mouth and holding eye contact with you as he sucks it between his lips. His eyes immediately roll back when your taste hits his tongue. “Fuckin’ delicious. But I’m always tastin’ you secondhand.. I can’t wait to taste that sweet pussy directly from the source.”

You’re utterly stunned for a moment. You look up at him with your jaw hanging open while you do your best to cover your most intimate parts when all you want to do is throw your legs open and fully submit to him. You always told yourself if he ever caught you that you would make him work for it. But with the way he’s looking at you now? You can already feel yourself slipping and he hasn’t even touched you yet.

“Who - who said I was going to let you taste me? And what do you mean secondhand?” You tried to say it in a biting tone but your voice squeaks and betrays your facade immediately.

“Oh, little mouse… this little back and forth we’ve been playing has been fun and all. But now you’ve wandered right into my bed and I’m done playing games.” Rafe abruptly grabs onto your ankles, pulling you down to the edge of the bed until your feet are dangling off and you try to pull your knees together again but he grips onto them and pulls them back open. “Quit hiding from me.”

His hands grip tightly onto the meat of your thighs, the gold rings on his fingers pinching your skin in a way that has you holding back a moan. The look in Rafe’s eyes is nearly animalistic as he stares down at your puffy, wet pussy. Your little black thong pushed to the side, covered in creamy, white juices. His fingertips travel down your legs gripping hard enough to bruise with every inch. He brings his thumbs to the crevices of your thighs and presses his fingers hard on either side of your folds, pushing your pussy lips together. You can’t hold in the tiny mewl that leaves the back of your throat. He punches your slick cunt together roughly a few times before pulling you apart. Your pussy clicks for him from your wetness as he pulls you open.

“Been waiting for this moment, ya know?” Rafe runs his thumb along your slit, gathering your wetness before bringing his thumbs to rub along the sides of your lips, teasing you. “I knew it was you. I had my suspicions from the beginning. Ever since you walked in on me in the bathroom…”

“How?” Your voice is a broken whisper, any thoughts of fighting back slipping further and further from your mind. Embarrassingly enough, you feel like you could come from just this.

“Well, I was almost positive after that cute little cherry thong…” Rafe grazes over your clit for just a moment before going back to teasing you. “Earlier that day you were wearing these sexy little jeans and when you bent over I got a view of that same thong. Then, to my surprise, the very same pair ended up in my office later that day.” He presses hard on your clit, giving it a few strokes and you think his teasing has finally come to an end but as soon as it’s there, it’s gone. And he goes back to teasing your pussy tantalizingly. “But then, about a week later I saw you sneaking out of my office and I decided to let you get away with it.”

“You decided?” You push yourself up on your elbows and scoff with your eyebrow raised, your irritation with him returning. Rafe just smirks before shoving his thumb knuckle deep in your pussy and curving it against your walls. It makes your eyes roll back while you wriggle underneath him.

“Yes, princess, I decided.” His other thumb presses on your clit hard but doesn’t move. “Once I was positive it was you, I wasn’t ready for it to stop. Especially once you started leaving those little pictures for me. Who knew you were such a dirty slut.” He pulls his fingers from you before landing a harsh smack on your clit causing you to yelp.

“So you knew it was me and didn’t say anything? And then proceeded to keep them in a treasure box and jerk off all over them? Pervert.” Rafe slaps your pussy again, three times in succession.

“Stop being a fuckin’ brat. If I’m a pervert, what does that make you, huh?” He slaps your pussy even harder and then brings both of his hands down on your inner thighs with a loud smack. “Leaving me your panties, takin’ dirty photos for me, I saw you inhaling my cologne like it was a line of coke. And now I caught you in my bed, coming all over my pillow. You’re a nasty. Little. Girl.” He punctuates each word with a slap to your cunt and you can’t help but moan loudly for him.

“Yeah? Well you’re a nasty old man.” Your chest heaves but you still manage to paint a cheshire smirk on your face, your eyes twinkling with mischief as you use the last of your resolve against him.

“You know what? I’m sick of your bratty fuckin’ mouth.” Rafe grips onto the thin strings of your panties and pulls them down your legs before balling them up and shoving them in your mouth. The sudden intrusion makes you gag, but it’s not unwelcome. The act of dominance and the taste of yourself on your tongue has any and all attitude in you evaporating from your body. He grabs your chin and roughly shakes your head side to side. “That’s better. You gonna be a good girl and let me taste that perfect cunt now or do I need to beat the attitude out of you?”

You moan around the lace in your mouth and drop your knees to the sides, offering yourself to him. Rafe looks at you devilishly as he lays on his stomach on the mattress and throws your legs over his shoulders. He runs his nose along your inner thigh as he takes in your sweet scent before hovering over your pussy and inhaling deeply.

“Smell so fuckin’ sweet, bet you taste even sweeter.” The flat Rafe’s runs through your folds up to your clit before circling it a few times. He nips it with his teeth and shoves his tongue as far as it can go inside of you causing you to cry out and arch your back off the mattress.

“Quit wiggling.” Rafe growls into your pussy, the vibrations sending shockwaves through your body. His large hand splay on your hip, holding you down as he eats you like a man starved. He circles two fingers at your entrance before pressing them knuckle deep inside of you. He caresses your sweet spot while sucking your clit into his mouth and it has an explosion of pleasure washing over your body as your orgasm consumes you.

Rafe pulls off of you when you come down from your high and brings the fingers that were just inside you to his chin dripping with your juices. He smears it around before sucking his fingers clean, groaning like he just ate the best meal of his life. He leans forward and plucks the panties from your mouth before slamming his lips against yours. The kiss is dominating and he shoves his tongue deep into your mouth, swirling it around and coating your taste buds with your own cum. He leans back to admire you and he feels like his cock is going to burst. Your hair is a mess, your dark lipstick is smudged and slick, and the zipper on that tight little dress is barely hanging on. Your tits are on full display as you lay like a perverted little angel with your legs spread beneath him.

“God damn. I’ve gotta fuck that pussy, baby.” Rafe pulls the zipper of your dress the rest of the way down before leaning up on his knees and reaching for the buttons on his shirt. “Take that shit off. Leave the socks and shoes though.”

He licks his lips as he continues to unbutton his shirt while his eyes practically swallow you whole. You quickly rid yourself of your dress and push yourself up onto your knees to watch him undress. You have to stop yourself from jumping him when he gets his shirt all the way off, his perfectly toned body towering over you. When he gets his pants down enough to get his cock out you can’t even hold in your gasp. He’s huge. So thick you aren’t sure you could wrap a single hand around him and so long that you aren’t sure if you could take him all down your throat.

“Fuck. I don’t know if that’s going to fit…” Your eyes are the sizes of saucers as you stare at his cock with your jaw slack. Those words make Rafe feel like he’s going to go insane and his hand flies to your hair, grasping onto it at the nape of your neck and yanking your head back.

“Oh, it’ll fit.” His tongue slides over his teeth and he takes his shaft in his hand so he can rub his precum along your lips, adding to the mess. Rafe uses his grip on your head to manhandle you onto your back before throwing your legs over his shoulders. He smirks down at you while he pumps himself in his hand. “You want it?”

“Yes, fuck. I want it so bad.” You tilt your hips towards him searching for any kind of friction but his hand presses down on your hip, stilling your movements.

“Oh, come on, baby doll. You can do better than that. How bad do you want it?” He taps the head of his cock against your clit a few times before running it through your folds. You try to angle your hips to push him further inside of you and he just tuts at you like you did something naughty before pulling his cock away entirely. “Let me hear it, beg.”

“Please, daddy, I want it so bad.” Rafe breathes out heavily through his nostrils and grips onto your throat, leaning down so his face is inches from yours.

“Oh, little mouse.. you’re just full of surprises, huh? I don’t think you know what you’ve done.” Rafe chuckles darkly and leans back up onto his knees, positioning his cock at your entrance. He presses his head into you and he’s so thick you already feel so full by the time he’s only a few inches in.

“Oh, god. I don’t - I really don’t know if it’s all going to fit.” The air is nearly taken out of your lungs when he thrusts his hips forward and you’re sure he’s all the way inside of you now but he pulls almost all the way out before slamming his cock into you to the hilt with his hips flush against yours. “Holy shit, oh my god.”

“I thought you wanted it so bad, now you’re whining that it won’t fit? I’m gonna fuckin’ make it fit and you’re gonna take it like the dirty little slut you are.” Rafe rams his hips into yours at a brutal pace as he grips onto your throat again and squeezes tightly. His free hand comes to rub circles on your clit and it makes your vision blur. “Yeah fuckin, take it. You gonna come for me? I can feel your pussy squeezing me. You’re so fuckin’ tight.”

“Yes, fuck daddy, please make me cum.” Your voice is a broken sob as your makeup smears messily down your face. “I’m so fucking full.”

“Yeah, that’s right, sweet thing. Give me your cum.” That’s all it takes to have an all consuming orgasm washing over you. Your walls convulse around Rafe’s thick length and he picks up his thrusts, chasing his own high. He uses his grip on your throat to press you down into the mattress and your legs fall down onto his hips. You lace them around him and this new angle has him hitting so deep you swear you’re going to feel him for days. The hand not on your throat hooks onto your bottom teeth, pulling your jaw open so he can spit on your tongue. You swallow without asking and then suck his fingers into your mouth greedily.

“You’re so fuckin’ nasty, ya know that? Letting your dad’s boss fuck you till you cry while he’s right down stairs. Leaving me your little fuckin’ panties. This perfect god damn pussy.” Rafe is babbling like a man possessed as he pumps into you hard and deep until his cock starts to twitch inside you. He growls as he fills you with ropes of his cum. When he pulls out you feel nearly hollow and then he shoves his fingers knuckle deep inside of you, collecting some of his cum on his fingers. You pull his hand back to your mouth and lick his fingers, moaning at your combined tastes.

“Oh, I’m gonna have so much fun with you, little mouse.” Rafe stares down at you with a hunger that’s laced with obsession and you don’t even care because you’re just as obsessed as he is. “You’re mine now.”

Taglist: @nemesyaaa @strawberrydolly333 @sturnioloshacker @loserboysandlithium @gri959 @rafeinterlude @xoxohoneymoongirl @tacymbcm @bunnies-p1tst0p @starkeysprincess

Dividers by @anitalenia

[satkru]

Consider yourself lucky

heian era sukuna x male reader

A/n: I love glazing sukuna idc what anyone says sukuna is literally so fine and he has done nothing wrong, also i js wanna say ty to @ — mmonikurr for helping me w this :)

Cw: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT : dub-con , belly distortion , two cocks (sukuna) , manhandling , fear play , forced eye contact , begging , reader is stated to have a “feminine figure” but u don’t have to have one if u don’t want one 👍🏽 , praise kink (if u squint hard enough) , mentions of mpreg

Y/n’s eyes fixated on his once beloved clan ‘s home, his breathing came out raggedy and rushed, as if he just ran a marathon.

Who could’ve done such destruction on this big village?

Through the smoke y/n saw a large figure emerge, along with a slightly smaller figure walking beside it. The both of them bared no wounds and actually looked cleaner than ever.

Y/n slowly raised himself from his knees and began steadily walking backwards, keeping his eyes on the two figures who chatted away in front of his burning clan.

Y/n descended into the forest slowly but surely, occasionally making sure his footing was in the correct position. CRACK! Y/n’s face went pale as he realized what he had done.

A stick had perfectly positioned itself below y/n’s foot and snapped in half, causing the big sound. The man wasted no time in running as fast as he could, using the bases of the trees as small boosts as he booked it.

But tonight was not y/n’s night, as he then tripped and fell over an uprooted branch. Fear and adrenaline coursed through y/n’s veins but there was no time to get up, as both the large figure and smaller figure steadily made their way towards the fallen man.

Y/n did nothing but close his eyes and pray to himself that he would be able to survive this night and be able to see another day. The footsteps gradually became closer until they finally stopped by his feet.

“Uraume, check this boy for any injuries” a deep and menacing voice spoke, y/n heard “uraume” hum before being forced onto his knees and having to look into uruame’s red eyes.

Y/n stared into their eyes as they thoroughly checked his face, uruame’s fingers gracefully floated over y/n’s face, taking their time to touch and probe at the man’s face, occasionally rubbing some dirt off of y/n’s face.

“He’s all clear sir” uraume spoke before back to where they once stood. “Good to hear, I don’t want my playthings to be ugly with a face full of scars” the large figure walked towards y/n, their extremely buff and big figure making the smaller male on the ground cower more into the dirt in fear.

“Get up” the bigger male’s voice commanded. Y/n basically jumped to his feet, looking up at the other man’s face with tears in his eyes. “Hm, what a precious boy we have, truly much better looking than all the others” y/n’s cheeks became a sweet pink color as the compliment sunk into his skin.

A pair of large and course hands wrapped themselves around y/n’s waist, causing the male to gasp from the sudden touch. Another pair of hands caressed y/n’s face, “my name is sukuna ryomen , but to you, it ‘s master, got it?” Y/n nodded as soon as sukuna finished his introduction.

“What a feminine body you have.. are you sure you’re not a girl?” Y/n tensed up, “no master.. im no girl..” the smaller male said through trembling lips and in a tiny voice.

Sukuna hummed, “what a shame, I would’ve impregnated you the moment you said you were” y/n ‘s face grew hot with the thought of someone more huger than him rearranging his insides.

“Guess you’ll have to do for now” y/n let out a surprised gasp as he then felt his robe being undone and being swept off his shoulders. The cold air of the night breezed over y/n ‘s exposed skin, making him shiver.

“Aw, want me to warm you up sweet boy?” Sukuna ‘s words were laced with lust and desire, y/n opened his mouth to respond but was then cut off as sukuna ‘s bottom pair of arms lifting him off the ground as if he were nothing.

Y/n and sukuna were now at eye level with each other. Sukuna ‘s four eyes staring deep within the naked man ‘s soul, y/n couldn’t help but avert his gaze away from sukuna ‘s deformed face.

Causing sukuna to get irritated and grab y/n ‘s face with one of his many hands, “look at me, boy, I am your savior, I am your god, so you will treat me as so”.

Y/n could do nothing but whimper and force himself to once again look into sukuna ‘s eyes. “Good boy” ryomen purred, his already cocky smirk growing even more cockier by the second as he looked at y/n’s fearful face.

And just like a god, sukuna dropped y/n back on the forest floor because “mortals have no business being on par with their gods”.

The “god” placed a hand on y/n ‘s head, grabbing a fistful of hair and tugging him more close to his upper inner thigh. “As a servant, you must do everything I say, alright?” Y/n nodded eagerly.

“Hm, that’s what I like to see, now, as your first task for me, you will suck my cock. Got it?” Sukuna watched as y/n shakily nod and reach up to untie his pants lace.

Y/n then grabbed the hem of sukuna’s pants and slowly pulled them down, revealing not only one, but two extremely long and thick cocks. Drool dripped out the corners of y/n ‘s mouth as he stared intently at the two cocks.

Sukuna chuckled, “hasn’t anyone taught you staring is rude?” Y/n blushed and bowed his head, “m-my apologies.. master..” , sukuna chuckled and pulled on y/n ‘s hair. Causing the man to yelp and grab onto sukuna ‘s strong thighs.

Y/n looked up into ryomen ‘s demanding eyes, “well? Get to it slut” , y/n let out a quick ‘yes master!’ Before wrapping his lips around the tip of one of sukuna ‘s cocks while groping the base of the other.

Sukuna groaned as he then moved his hands that were in y/n ‘s hair down to the base of his neck. Y/n licked and slurped on sukuna ‘s big and girthy tip, coating it entirely in saliva.

“Fuck.. go down that shaft, I need to feel my head hit the back of that whorish mouth” y/n did what was asked of him and began to slowly deepthroat sukuna ‘s cock. Gaining a loud and drawn out groan out of sukuna.

Soft and whispered curses leaked out of sukuna ‘s mouth as y/n began to bob his head on sukuna’s cock, making his way down the base.

While y/n worked on sukuna’s top cock, he began to stroke the bottom one at a slow pace, making sure to fondle the balls as well.

“Fuck.. I’m c-cumming.. don’t even try to pull back now, you’re going to take my entire load deep in that slutty throat of yours” and just like that, sukuna came in y/n ‘s mouth, coating his once pink insides a creamy white.

Sukuna ‘s second cock spurted it’s essence onto y/n ‘s bare chest, some dripping down to his abdomen and down his own cock.

Y/n ‘s pushed himself off sukuna ‘s cock with a gasp, coughing up some left over cum that got stuck in his throat. “We’re not done yet boy, get up”.

The cum-covered man got up, his legs trembling as if he were a newly born fawn. Sukuna ‘s bottom arms wrapped themselves around y/n ‘s waist, hoisting him up to where his head laid comfortably between sukuna ‘s pecs.

Sukuna’s hands then slowly slid down towards y/n ‘s ass, taking the two cheeks into his palms. Spreading them out enough to where y/n ‘s hole was visible. Sukuna then took one of his hands off of y/n ‘s ass to perfectly position one of his cocks directly below y/n ‘s hole.

The sound of the combination of a wet cock and a dry hole filled the quiet forest, along with a surprised moan from y/n. Sukuna smirked at y/n ‘s response, but he wanted a more extreme reaction.

A light went off above sukuna ‘s head as an idea popped into his malicious mind. Ryomen thrusted his hips up, making contact with y/n ‘s plush cheeks. Y/n through his head back as he let out a much more pleasurable and loud moan than before, along with that, a string of a certain warm and creamy white substance squirted out of the tip of y/n ‘s cock.

“Cant even handle a single thrust? This isn’t looking good for you boy” sukuna said with a snicker, y/n was about to argue with him but decided to kept his mouth shut. Ryomen slid y/n back up, earning a groan out of him. Sukuna then grabbed his other cock and positioned beside his other cock.

He slid the tip in, causing y/n to dig his face into the crevasse of sukuna ‘s pecs. And with another thrust, ryomen ‘s other cock had successfully entered y/n ‘s already filled hole.

Y/n clawed at sukuna ‘s arms, drawing a bit of blood. The pain that sukuna was suppose to be feeling was replaced with ecstasy and the desire for more. MORE pain, MORE pleasure.

“Ready?” Sukuna asked, but didn’t wait for y/n ‘s response. Sukuna slid y/n up one last time before delivering a powerful thrust into his hole. Y/n cried out, tears forming in his eyes from the thrust of sukuna ‘s hips.

Ryomen continued to deliver harsh and heavy thrusts into y/n ‘s already recked hole, y/n begged for sukuna to stop, but he was already too far gone in pleasure to be able to hear y/n ‘s pleads.

Y/n felt the many veins that drove along sukuna ‘s long and hard cocks, the veins were enough to drive y/n insane as they rubbed against the tight and gummy walls of his insides.

Sukuna ‘s cocks twitched, signaling that he was close to his release. Y/n sobbed as he realized that he would be downgraded to nothing but a cumslut and a cocksleeve for a curse that was way more stronger than him in every way.

“Take my kids into that precious hole of yours slut, maybe then you could actually gain a purpose for something” y/n knew what “purpose” he would gain, he would become a mother to children he could not bare.

With a couple more thrusts, y/n felt sukuna ‘s cocks unload their last gallon of cum into his once pure hole.

Sukuna breathed heavily, trying to catch an ounce of fresh air in the steamy and hot ecosystem him and his new slut had made.

“Consider yourself lucky I didn’t kill you, but now, you must work for me, you’ll worship me and my existence altogether, your nothing without me, your only purpose for me is to be a hole I can put my two cocks in and bare my kids in that stomach of yours” sukuna whispered delicately into y/n ‘s ear. Causing the poor man to shiver and shakily nod.

“Uraume, mind cleaning me and my new toy?”

[ladyannemarie5]

I finally got to watch “The Witcher: Sirens of the Deep” again, so here's the third part of:

Things we learned/confirmed about our bard in “The Witcher: Sirens of the deep”

Geralt is always ready to protect his bard on hunts.

He and Geralt share the coins from the hunts and his performances as a bard (awww like in the fanfics). 

He often suffers from financial problems thanks to sharing Geralt's coin and moral code (but he never leaves him alone)

Geralt lets Jaskier touch him as he pleases even though physically Jaskier couldn't move an inch of the witcher if Geralt didn't want to (you know, that scene at the beginning where they're in the tavern, Geralt gets up to leave and Jaskier with a firm hand on his shoulder puts him back in his sit)

He went to Bremervoord, his old town where no one appreciated him and he suffered from bullying and from which he fled so desperately to be himself, just because Geralt was avoiding you-know-who.

He never misses an opportunity to badmouth Yennefer LOL.

He was the driver of the carriage on Ellander's trip to Möen that Yennefer was talking about in S3E1 where she and Geralt did everything but talk (to be honest, I'm not really sure on this point but in the scene where the driver is seen steering the carriage you can see a blue doublet that may be Jaskier's trademark, but maybe I'm just projecting my bard on everything LOL)

It's Jaskier The Bard, The Song Don of Oxenfurt, The Crooner of the Continent

Essi “Little eye” is like Jaskier's little sister and the bard's #1 defender (Sooo cute and sad considering that probably, and following canon, that was the last time Jaskier saw Essi)

Geralt only learned that “Julian” was the bard's real name 20 years later. 

He used to say he was originally from Oxenfurt (considering this point, it makes me wonder at what point the Viscount of Lettenhove thing came in).

He was meant to be a man of the sea, but he was “creative and different and they treated him horrible because of that” (MY SHYLAAAAAA, I liked that they gave more lore to his past, is it better than what I've read in fanfics? I don't think so, but it's appreciated anyway)

He's a superstar, master of the scene (we already knew this but it never hurts to remember it).

Jaskier steals Geralt's beer 

Geralt is quite used to Jaskier's nonsense and dramatics (that scene where Jaskier spits out the beer, which he took from Geralt, for knowing that Essi is a bard and the witcher just shakes the drink off without blinking)

“If you know my name, it's because you know his songs” (What the hell???? Geralt was so ready to defend his bard's honor).

Jaskier is Geralt's official wingman (he just doesn't want him to be with Yennefer). 

Geralt hunts and cooks for him (awwww)

Jaskier doesn't like Geralt's cooking.

Jaskier knows that Geralt has a big heart and is a softie. 

And there was only one tent, Geralt sleeps outside the tent (probably to keep watch, but there's no way they haven't shared a tent at least once)

Jaskier is a very heavy sleeper

As a bard, he is aware of political, social and economic issues in many parts of the Continent (which helped Geralt to solve the Sirens' problem). 

He is the beauty and moral support in the team (he is gorgeous).

Geralt removes Jaskier from the path of danger (that scene where Melusina in the form of the princess goes for Geralt and he removes Jaskier)

No matter what anyone says, Jaskier solved the case. 

Moral support of Geralt when they call him “sewer cleaner”. 

“And yet, for all the talk of Witchers lacking emotions, I know how to hurt you *proceeds to order Jaskier's death.

Jaskier was already saying goodbye to Geralt and blaming himself for returning to Bremervoord.

Jaskier may always be the damsel in distress, but when the situation calls for it he knows how to use a sword and fight in spite of his fears (keep the swords away from the bard when he is shocked and scared)

Zelest, welcome to Jaskier's harem.

Despite all the drama and commotion in the fights, Geralt constantly checks that his bard is alive and well, always ready to drop everything and help if needed.

Jaskier is quite used to Geralt's favorite technique of being eaten.

Jaskier has been to many royal weddings 

Jaskier gave up his life and everything he knew in order to fulfill his dream of being a bard (and he made the right decision) 

“But for now, looks like Jaskier will have to do” (To be honest, I don't know how to take this lol).

Jaskier is the one who decides where to go in his adventures with Geralt. 

The whole Sirens of the deep is set immediately before the dragon hunt (and that breaks my heart)

And last but not least, Joey Batey is the love of my life (and I love that they respected his incredibly blue eyes). 

(I didn't think this would turn out to be so long but here we are, sorry for the verbal vomit).

You can check the previous parts here and here