#also need a master post and some cleaner posts to actually link in the master post

[pyra-colony-au]

i need to start putting together a proper timeline and maybe get around to drawing some comics + i’m thinking making this multi-media to include some epistolary stuff/letters between characters? bc megop pen pals… and Megatron would want to send letters to Impactor and Kiloton while she’s on Cybertron and they’re still on Pyra

[mybuttonfelloff]

Okok so we all know the Sims 3 is like, not super popular and is also notoriously buggy BUT on the off chance anyone is like me and loves it, i have some tips that have greatly helped my game run better. I also am including links to any specific creators or sites I recommend. Tips under the cut bc it's a long post, but I tried to be thorough! You will need to understand like, basic reading comprehension and basic computer-y stuff (downloading files, unpacking files, dragging and dropping into folders, editing the occasional file text) but most stuff I link to have tutorials for adding mods into the game and whatnot.

I really hope this helps people like me who love TS3! but know the game is.... outdated for basically all computers. These are all things ive learned over the past couple years, so I hope this can be a helpful resource for anyone wanting to play TS3.

Number one will probably be using this tutorial to make the game recognize your current computer specs. Because the game is, yknow, old, it wont recognize newer drivers and whatnot. This tutorial will allow the game to actually recognize them and therefore run better https://www.carls-sims-4-guide.com/forum/index.php?topic=26753.0

Nraas will be your best friend for managing things in-game. It's similar to MCCC for the sims 4 but you completely customize which like, modules you use. I highly highly recommend specifically Story Progression and Master Controller https://www.nraas.net/community/home

LazyDuchess is a goddess and I highly Highly recommend her Smooth Patch mod. It makes the game run so much better. Also she has so many other mods that make things like CAS load faster plus a search function for Build/Buy https://www.patreon.com/lazyduchess/posts

ModTheSims is a great resource for Sims 3 Mods as well, definitely recommend making an account and perusing their sims 3 mods https://modthesims.info/

Speaking of ModTheSims, I highly recommend Regul Save Cleaner to... clean up the extra data in your saves https://modthesims.info/download.php?t=652440

Also on ModTheSims theres an excellent bug fixing mod from Simler90, it touches on a bunch of like longtime bugs that havent been fixed (like the firefighter career being bugged) https://modthesims.info/download.php?t=659969

Make sure that before playing or after adding any new mods, delete the files: caspartcache.package, compositorcache.package, scriptcache.package, simcompositorcache.package, and socialcache.package. If not, the game WILL load slowly and/or crash. These files are found in Documents\ElectronicArts\The Sims 3. Not sure about Steam bc I use the EA app, but I assume its a similar path.

Save every half hour or so to prevent crashes killing too much progress. And don't play for longer than an hour per initial load (like, play for an hour, save, quit and load the game again). I find it helps the game run smoother when you dont play in 3 hour stretches.

make a backup saves folder for your saves. Im not sure why, but i found that keeping only one save in the actual saves helps it loads faster and smoother.

Also when saving your game, ALWAYS use Save As. If you Save As, you wont have to worry about accidentally corrupting your saves, which happens a lot

Also, when you're about to save, move the save you loaded into your backup saves folder BEFORE saving. I find it crashes/corrupts way less if its not trying to compete with the other save

also keep your sims personal inventory fairly empty (like 10 items max) to prevent a known bug from occurring when saving. Use a storage box or something to store collectibles like gems, plants, etc.

WHEN IN CAS WAIT UNTIL THE LITTLE FLOWER LOOKING ICON IS BLUE TO SCROLL THROUGH THE CATEGORY. When it turns blue, all the items have properly loaded, so it wont lag nearly as much.

Prev point applies to build/buy, wait for the category to load before messing with things. You'll save yourself a lot of stress

Dont use 4 speed, i find it just lags and stops progressing time. I use 2 or 3 max, even when sleeping

In BuyDebug you can buy these invisible lights that make the lighting much much better in game. Just have an actual light, like a lamp or outdoor light, to be able to change brightness and color in Live mode. Bc.... Its invisible so non-clickable

[rawliverandgoronspice]

https://www.tumblr.com/rawliverandgoronspice/718014251940315136?source=share

Ill be honest and say i think the removal of sheikah related lore was not for internal weird racist reasons and instead simply for game design reasons, why the zonai tech is so similar in concept and execution. totk is a sequel and also a redux, they needed technology for mechanics and a reason for the world to change and introducing an entirely new race of characters would be the perfect scapegoat. it feels like it ignores botw almost entirely because 1) new players 2) to be a finished version of botw more mechanics and more content. the narrative was barely a thing in this game because what mattered the most was design and gameplay above all else. i don't think caring about gameplay first particularly bad, it's a fun game they will probably revolutionize the industry once again, and that nintendo doesn't care about lore at all but it really wasn't the priory here at least that's how I felt when i play the game. i adore the overworld and the npcs but the main quest (tears) story itself is very stale. best praise i can give to it is character design and zeldas sacrifice/how they handled her and link that's literally it (vague because i don't know if you've gotten there yet, it's after the completion of the tears quest and getting the master sword). zelda lore at this point is a sandbox and us fans will do what we want with it. sorry for the ramble!

Hey, thanks for the ask!

So I sort of agree, especially on the first part. I absolutely believe that yes, sheikah were not sidelined for malicious reasons, and the ease of just having one super-powerful ultratech culture you rely on was cleaner than having the old relics hanging around. I actually think it's the cleanest choice to make (one that would have been *even cleaner* would have been to write a story and think of a world that reinvent its landmarks based on that new ideas of archeology and the past bursting back into the present, which is theme that coats the game but doesn't ever permeates it). I still think any acknowledgement that it used to exist would have enriched a world that has, ultimately, very little new things to teach us about itself (I have scoured the Depths a bunch, and it's a combat/exploration hotspot, and that's cool but also what a missed opportunity to try some proper FromSoftware-style worldbuilding down there!). I don't think this would have confused new players; if anything it could have hinted at more and gave the new players any reason to pick up Breath of the Wild? But: the world is a playground! That's cool. I think it could be a much more meaningful playground, that's all. There's a category of players who kind of need some light modicum of internal consistency to be invested in exploration, and will just get bored otherwise (I have seen a bunch of people making this exact remark, and honestly... yeah, there are areas in the game I'm not interested in exploring just because I know it's a consequenceless challenge in the end --I'm just not the kind of player that is hooked by a game loop on its own merit, I need to understand what I'm building towards or I lose interest. It's the kind of thing that wouldn't have changed anything to a regular TotK's enjoyer experience, but would have greatly enriched the experience of players like me)

Still think that making Sheikahs a subset of hylians was a very weird choice. Not an outright malicious one, but one that does build up with all of the other weird choices and make this Hyrule feel like a revisionist Hyrule; and one they simply... didn't have to make.

(I'll maybe do another post about this, but there are so many things in this game that would be very confusing to a new player either way also --but that's kind of going into another territory)

I disagree about one general point, however, and I may get offtrack here a little but I guess you gave me an excuse to rant a little about how narrative design is perceived by the general public and what has been frustrating to witness in regards to the conversation surrounding this game from my perspective.

Mainly, this notion that "they had no other choice" because they chose to prioritize gameplay. I'm going to overshare a little (again sorry) but I work in gamedev in real life; I am actually a narrative designer that did quest design and game writing on a couple of games, some of them that also qualify as AAA open worlds. I think it's completely fair to see this game from a player perspective as a series of compromises struck to privilege the aspect of the game they were the most confident with --however, it is literally my real life job to walk through situations that can be extremely similar to this one and find solutions that weave narration with fun experiences game and level designers managed to put together. It doesn't mean that story has to swallow gameplay: if anything, narrative designers always try to privilege mechanics first and treat them as narrative devices in their own right before whipping out the actual cutscenes and the constant writing (and this game was somehow under AND overwritten in my opinion, especially in English --so I don't think it even solved this aspect?). This is not at all aimed at you in particular but at the internet at large; it ends up being quite grating to see assumptions being made about what can and can't be done in non-linear narrative as like, a fact of the universe instead of it being a specific field that deserve research and investment just like any other graphical advancement or intricate interactive feature, and explain away poor design decisions by the strange notion that they had no other choice, as if Nintendo studios aren't comprised of a bunch of humans who made active and passive choices. Like, I worked on very similar issues. There are solutions to how you feed information to the player in a non-linear way. There are ways to maximize impact and depth, even when you let the player guide the story. Again: it's fine if it doesn't bug you or a lot of people --but there are flaws. It happens. It's gamedev. It's a miracle any game is made at all --and this one is its own sort of miracle. What strikes me as strange is that I never see that level of excuses made for companies that do not cultivate that same image of being an unapproachable, united workforce, that get instead torn to shreds at the slightest sideway brush --but that's another subject maybe (maybe).

Narrative design is this thing that, when it's not there, people don't realize it could be; and when it is there, people take it for granted unless it's very visibly front and center like in Edith Finch or Disco Elysium or any other number of indie games (generally it's the indies who do all the research and development and take all of the risks on that front --like seriously I worked in narrative-driven studios, known for their narrative games, where 2/3 of the game designers couldn't care less about emotional impact beyond satisfaction/frustration/boredom, and it's infinitely frustrating (heh) to have your specialization considered optional fluff when you know how far thematic cohesion can push a game when handled well ANYWAY anyway). So: I was always going to care about the way they handled narrative, because it's how I'm wired, what I research, and I also played this game in part because I was very curious on how they'd push their explorations of BotW's possibilities, which were very interesting if a little limited. Needless to say, this was a let down. And I think it's not unreasonable to have higher narrative standards than this.

I do want to autocorrect myself on a statement I put out before, however, that being the notion that not enough research was put into narrative. I think I want to push forward a new theory that sounds much more plausible to me (again based on nothing but speculation and weird déjà-vu vibes, which is perhaps why I care that much :) :) ), and that being: a lot of research was done, and then cut. It seems very plausible the narrative used to be much more ambitious than this --and then, for one reason or another, somebody panicked, or the thing got out of hand, or they couldn't get it to work exactly right, and everything was downscoped pretty late into production. Six years of development is a long time, and I don't think anyone with the standards of a Nintendo employee would have been happy with handling the storyline the way it was. It kinda feels like a rushed cobble-up of loose threads after a massive downsizing, leaving plot holes and suboptimal emotional experience. Again: just a theory, no proof at all. But I absolutely wouldn't be surprised, and it would explain a lot of things.

[deathstroke-the-himbonator]

So I've been playing The Hades Game like fucking mad for the last few weeks, and although I'm not very far in it (at least, I don’t think I am; I’ve only beat Hades once!), I'm absolutely in love with it! Anyways, a certain idea has been kicking around in my head for awhile now, so I thought I'd share it with y'all; feel free to tell me what you think of it! (Warning: spoilers for when you beat Hades the first time!)

Anyways, I've already seen a really cool AU post for if Demeter raised Zagreus on the surface by herself (which you can find HERE; please check it out, the outfit for Zag alone is an amazing concept, and I love the artwork!!!) but I keep thinking about an AU where, after Zagreus dies at birth, Persephone runs away and takes his wrapped up body with her.

On the surface, she reconnects/reunites with her mother Demeter, and with her aid, the two of them manage to resurrect the newborn baby, though now he has more white in his hair than anything else. After that, Persephone sends Hades a letter to tell him that Zagreus is alive and well (because she actually has some fucking class), before proceeding to raise Zagreus on the surface with her mother, far away from the entrance to hell. The Olympians also help her out a bit, but mostly they just help by hiding Zagreus when it’s necessary.

(The rest is under a cut ‘cus this got a bit long, sorry!)

Years pass in relative peace, until Zagreus is about as old as he is in-game (I think he’s around 20-25ish???) and is living well, working with his mom and grandma to take care of their gardens and live peacefully away from mankind; he especially loves tending to the animals and guiding lost mortals to safety. However, one day while foraging for fruit in the deepest corners of his mother’s signature garden, Zagreus happens across a strange man in long robes, who introduces himself as Thanatos.

The two men get along swimmingly from minute one, and after agreeing to meet with each other again soon, they leave and tell their families/friends all about the experience, having no clue who they are to each other. After all, Thanatos was told growing up that his lord’s first wife died giving birth to their first and only child, who was a stillborn, and Zagreus thinks his father died of disease (his mom didn’t have to heart to tell him anything bad about his dad). Needless to say, they’re gonna be in for quite the shock soon.

Cue Hades losing his shit and calling on Thanatos, Megaera, and Achilles to go find his progeny and bring him home; he gives them special permission to leave the Underworld without any resistance, trusting Than to lead the way back to Zagreus. Achilles is less than thrilled to be performing such a morally grey task for his master, but Meg and Than are eager to prove themselves, so he begrudgingly agrees to help, even if it hurts his conscience to do so.

Persephone and Demeter also freak the hell out on their end, scared shitless by the fact that Death incarnate has just met their son/grandson, and they’re worried that he plans on coming back again soon. Demeter suggests sending Zagreus to live with the Olympians until this all blows over, but Persephone disagrees, wanting her son to stay nearby in case he grows ill (it’s implied that she’s a bit overprotective of him, mostly because she’s afraid of him dying again; this also means she refuses to let him know that he’s in any danger, believing it would only make things worse for him in the long-run). Frustrated but understanding her daughter’s pain all too well, Demeter at least convinces her to call on the Olympians for aid, which Persephone agrees to do.

The gods promise to help of course, but... well, they're low-key lying; they wanna see how this plays out first.

After several days of traveling through hell (literally), the “let’s kidnap Zagreus” gang makes it to the surface, and they immediately head to Persephone’s garden. All this time, Zagreus has no idea that he’s being targeted, so he goes about his chores as usual, only to run into Than again, and hey, he brought some more friends for him to meet! Zagreus is friendly with all of them, being raised to be very polite by his guardians, and while he’s busy chatting with Than and Achilles, he doesn’t notice Meg sneaking behind him. Just as Zagreus is rattling on about how the animals have been faring this summer, Meg stabs Zagreus in the back with a blade coated in Hades’s blood, cursing him to belong to the Underworld again.

With Zagreus now unconscious from a sedative that was mixed with the blood, the trio hurry off with him back to the Underworld, but not without Persephone seeing what they’ve done to her son. Horrified, she begins to sob, and winter arrives in the mortal world without so much as a fall season in-between this and the summertime.

When Zagreus comes to, he finds himself in a bedroom similar to the one he has in the game, but it’s much cleaner and has less objects of personal value to him. Hades is standing at the foot of his bed when he wakes up, and very calmly, Hades tells Zagreus that he’s his father, and that from now on, Zagreus will be living in the Underworld with him and his people, where he so obviously belongs. It’s a shame his mother can’t be here, of course, but they just need to wait awhile, that’s all; surely she’ll come to her senses and return home soon, now that her husband and son are here.

Zagreus jumps out of bed and faces his father as soon as he’s done monologuing, ready to tell him off for what he’s done, but to his shock, Hades hugs him as soon as he’s on his feet, and admits that he’s waited for this day for a long, long time. He asks his son to please just accept that this is his home now, and despite still being a bit surprised (and subtly hugging Hades back because Longing), Zagreus tells him straight up that he can’t, that he has to get home, especially with winter coming in a few months!

Dejected but not overly surprised, Hades simply nods in acceptance, but he still warns Zagreus that it’s no use trying to fight it; he’s stuck here, now and forever, so he may as well get comfortable and try getting along with him, because no one’s going anywhere anytime soon. Zagreus is horrified, but he nods nonetheless, unsure of what to say or do just yet.

Later that night, as Zagreus is struggling to sleep in this new, unfamiliar place, Achilles comes to him and apologizes about what’s happened, and although he can’t magically fix everything for him, he tells Zagreus that it actually is supposedly possible to escape; it’s just that no one’s ever done it before. Driven by his desire for freedom and the thought of reuniting with his mother, Zagreus tells Achilles that he’s going to find a way out, no matter the cost. Achilles congratulates him on his tenacity, but warns him that it won’t be easy. Still, he’s willing to help Zagreus as much as he can.

From then on, I imagine the game playing out very differently from the original, with a rather frazzled and scared Zagreus trying to get home to his mom and grandma, but with none of his training from Achilles in this AU, he has to rely on something his mother taught him; his connection with earth and all it’s inhabitants. Or, in his case, his connection with the spirits of animals (a cross of his dad and mom’s powers). That’s right, I’m making The Hades Game into a fucking Pokemon-ripoff, but still with some rouge-like elements mixed in (mostly with Zagreus not keeping his animals after runs).

Having royally fucked up in not stepping in sooner to protect Zagreus, the gods end up helping him out by sending down animals associated with them for the young god to tame for a run (I’ll come up with them later). They usually offer a selection to choose from, and from there Zagreus can build up a team and use it to try and escape the Underworld.

To replace weapons, I like to think he’d have “signature” animals that can help him out for any of his runs, specifically ones from Achilles, Poseidon, Zeus, Demeter (once he reaches the surface at least once), and eventually even Hades gives him one if they bond together enough ((yes, it’s Cerberus... kinda; it’s a puppy version of him, otherwise he’d be OP as fuck)). Zagreus’s signature animals can all be given names, and they keep certain skills that they pick up through enough experience battling in the Underworld for Zagreus.

As for story-line stuff, Zagreus ends up in a very fish out of water situation as he tries to get to know everyone in Hades’s house (he’s still our kindhearted Zag, after all, and he knows most of them aren’t to blame, not even really Than!) while also focusing on his goal to get home to his mom. Hades ends up being a lot nicer to him in this AU, perhaps overly so, as he’s trying to make his son like him more in order to make up for lost time (and fill the hole in his heart that Zag’s initial death as an infant and Persephone leaving with him created). It’s part of the reason he’s even letting Zagreus try to escape; he wants him to learn that it won’t work on his own terms (and maybe also scare the kid so bad that he comes running to him for comfort afterwards).

Also, I should really note that Zagreus is 100% a sweet country farm boy in this AU, and he has no idea what the fuck is going on with pretty much anything in the Underworld, much to everyone’s astonishment. For example:

Meg: Gods, it must be weird getting used to everything down here, huh? Sick of stepping in bat shit yet? Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it, and Dusa’s pretty good about cleaning it up to begin with. Zagreus: I mean, I guess? It’s not that different from chicken shit tbh. Meg: What the fuck is a chicken???

After that... yeah, I dunno. I’ll try playing Hades some more, see if I think up anything else that could be interesting, but for now, I hope at least someone ends up liking this dumb AU (if not, I’ll still like it... might even try my hand at drawing for it a bit tbh). Again, please check out the person who’s post/art I linked earlier in the post, ‘cus their art is really awesome and inspired me to include Demeter more in this AU!

[genderhoax]

I used to want to be an artist but then i stopped drawing for like 7 years. I want to go back but i'm scared and dont know where to start. So yes, i am interested in those drawing videos can you post them if you dont mind? ^_^

Of course!! I am in the same situation as you actually. I used to draw a lot in middle school (2010-2012) but my depression worsened during high school and in college, I’d only draw as a distraction, never seeking to study or improve. I decided to get back this year, since I decided drawing was the only thing I could see myself doing professionally. I felt very lost, because how do you get back? How do you know what’s your actual, current, art skill? What are your weaknesses? Your strong points?

That’s how I learned to study the fundmentals of art. Because visual art is not a skill. It is a set of skills, if you are very good at anatomy but not really when coming to painting your art is going to look differently than someone who learned anatomy in how to draw manga books but paint like a pro. I am going to divide this post in categories, Also, all the videos I link I also recommend all the channels they are from! My favorites are The Drawing Database, Sycra and Ganev, Sycra and The Drawing Databse have a little of everything and are great at explaining. Ganev is a bit sarcastic but I like the way he teaches. I took some parts of the text of this post from here.

How do I begin? How do you even get back at art? What tips should you use? These are general tips videos, usually nice to draw along. /the fundmentals and how to get started/ /5 tips for better drawing/ /perfect pratice/  /beginner’s guide/ /5 tips for digital art/ /10 tips to improve/ /why your drawings are stiff/ /what level is your art/ /improve your art fast/ /drawing basics/ /how to hold and control your pencil/ /intuitive drawing method/ /iterative drawing/

The Fundamentals: Proportion & Placement Proportion is relationship between one element and another. In the visual arts proportion relates most importantly to the abstract quality of scale and placement. You know how stereotypically an artists puts a pencil to their eye when looking at an object? They’re mesuring the proportion of the object in question and how to represent it corectly in the drawing. /principles of proportion/ /ways to create illusion of space/ /drawing the human figure/ /how to draw proportions playlist/ /how to use proportion in character design/ /basic anatomy and proportions part one/ /part two/ /part three/ /part four/ /proportion basics/

Form & Construction The idea of form is how we see the 3D objects in or world and transform them into 2D in the paper/canvas. It’s understading that eveyrthing is made up of basic forms. /dynamic sketching part one/ /part two/ /how to draw forms/ /structure/ /building form/ /another how to draw forms/ /how to visualize 3D forms/ /form study process/

Perspective & Depth Perspective is knowing that as things move away from the viewer’s eye, things seem to get smaller. Get familiarized with terms like horizon line and vanishing point. This is the basic that must be understood to learn perspective. Here’s a good article about this. /an intro video on the subject/ /step by step tutorial/ /perspective basics part one/ /part two/ /part three/ /part four/ part five /part six/  /another basics video/ /20 perspective lessons/ /eye level tip/  /linear perspective/  /simple form perspective/ /drawing the figure in perspective/

Anatomy Anatomy is something I think it’s one the most crucials things to learn in order to make your drawing look good. Once you understand how joints work you’ll be able to see how bones and muscles move. And this goes for anything with a skeleton. It’s one of those things of you learn the rules before breaking them. I am linking different playlists, since linking different videos on various parts of anatomy would take forever. Just study a body part at time: head, eyes, nose, lips, ears, shoulders, neck, hairline, breats, torso, hands, feet etc. /how to do an anatomy tracing/  /playlist 1 /  /draw the head from any angle/  /anatomy for artists/ /draw facial features/ /how to draw and paint/ /playlist 2/ /draw 3/4 head with loomis method/ /playlist 3/ /drawing a head in 3 hours (this one is great to draw along with the artist)/ /how to draw a body/ draw a head with loomis method part 1/  /part 2/ /part 3/ /decipgering bridgman’s anatomy/ /anatomy quick tips/

Gesture Gesture drawing is a method of capturing figures in exaggerated poses, usually drawn quickly. It is important to undersand that the goal of all gesture is to study the figure and see how it moves. I like looking at poses and copying them. Here’s a good article. /how to draw gesture/  /how to draw any pose/ /draw interesting poses/ /a guide on gesture drawing/  /tips for expressive dynamic poses/  /figure drawing tips/

Composition The overall layout of a piece is very important. Artists often consider things like the rule of thirds or the infamous golden ratio. Neither truly defines a composition, but they can both go into your decision making. /composition in art/  /understanding composition/ /10 composition tips/ /beginner’s guide to composition/ /art fundamental: composition/

Value Studying value is very much the study of light and shadow. But there is a technical side of light that you’ll want to pay attention to if you’re going for technical rendering. /guide on rendering/  /seeing light and shadows in daily life/  /10 minutes to a better painting/ /understaing colors and values/ /shading basics/ /ambient occlusion/ /shadow colors/ /tips on how to shade/ /draw shadows on objects and people/ /lighting tutorial/

Color Theory Color theory is understanding which colors go good with eachother, and knowing the pyschology behind it. (what are cool colors? what colors make someone feel comfortable?) It is fundamental in art for you to understand the relationship between colors and what makes them look good. Best color theory books. A comprehensive guide to color theory. /hue value saturation in photoshop/ /color theory for noobs/ /understanding color/ /what you should know about colors/  /warm and cool colors/  /the basic elements/ /choose colors that work/

Traditional Media If you draw in traditional media, all videos above can be used easily. These are just videos for general tips in traditional media, there isn’t many since my focus is digtal ^^’ /watercolor tips/ /draw with colored pencils/ /blending colored pencils/ /4 how to draw lessons/ /Block in colors/ /holding the brush/ /

Digital Media Digital art is how everyone’s been doing art these days. It doesn’t matter if you’re doing with your phone or your computer. I don’t do art on my phone, I know the most used app is mediabang for android and procreate for apple, and I think anyone who is able to do art with their finger is very skilled. If you are like me and prefer doing art on your computer, you probably have your tablet. If not, well you should have. Not having a tablet is not an option if you want to get better at art ^^’ Best tablet for beginners in 2020. Or you can just buy an old used one, if it still works, and you are a beginner, a small intuos is all you need. When talking about softwares, the three big ones I see people using are: Photoshop, Clip Paint Studio and Paint Tool Sai. The best one is CPS, but I find Sai easier to navigate, but CPS is extremely complete and I hope to be able to master it someday. CPS Tutorials. I don’t have much to say about photoshop, people use it mostly because they’ve been using it forever lol I divide my digital painting process in steps: Sketch/Lineart/Color Blocking/Shading/Blending/Color correction. Sketch is the basics, draw your idea. Lineart is to clean your sketch. Color Blocking is to color your drawing one color, so it’s easier to work in it. Shading is to understand where the lighting sources are coming from and apply them. Blending is to blend the colors of your drawing with brushes. Color correction is when I use filters of hue/saturation and others to make the drawing more appealing. These require understadings of the software of your choice which I am not very good at the moment so I can’t give you more tips than that ^^’ Hopefully these videos can help. /perspective grid/ /clean line art/  /coloring process/ /make lineart interesting/ /best brushes for digital painting/ /skin shading tutorial/  /lineart vs painting/ /art in clip studio paint/ /hair tutorial/ /3 tips for improving/ /10 digital art mistakes/ /color block tutorial/ /shading skin/ /from lineart to painting/ /cleaner lineart/ /add texture to your art/ /improve your art with better shadows/ /the importance of brushes/ /use layer modes/ /improve your lines/ /how to blend colors/ /another blending tutorial/  /color blocking/

Exercises It’s no secret that to improve on art, you must pratice. Everyday, even if it’s just a little! A great way to pratice is make use of youtube picture in picture function to draw along in your software of choice. /pratice drawing forms/ /proportion exercises/ /perspective exercises/ /value studies/ /creative drawing exercises/  /simple drawing esercises/

Resources Senshi stocks, a deviantart page full of poses photos. Quick poses,  pictures of models, contains nudes. Character design references DesignDoll, create a personalized sketch doll and make it pose.

Phew!!! This took forever to make and is way more than you asked for, but I decided to go all in so I can have a masterpost for me too and for anyone else interested in art. As soon you can understand the fundamentals, you can do your own research and study, youtube is really great for this. I hope this helps, let’s get better at drawing together!!! Ganbarimashou (ง •̀_•́)ง

[cybiluncivilised]

Yucky Dirty Medieval People

So, I posted a video about this to TikTok, in which my hair is awful and I framed it badly... I think the worse my videos are the more comfortable I feel putting them up.

I keep seeing videos and posts on how people were not dirty in the medieval era and apparently we're still needing to get the message across. I've seen a couple of people mention that Medieval People (people from an incredibly broad 1000 year era in history) thought that water wasn't good to wash with because it spread disease. This was a renaissance era belief, apparently, and we have very clear guidance on bathing and when and how to do it in the medieval era.

I actually am not a huge expert on this, but think it's worth discussing. In the parts of Europe the Reenactment Soc I'm in represents, bathing was discussed as a very decadent and vane thing to do very often. I tend to take the opinion that if someone was complaining about it, then people were definitely doing it.

I would really appreciate if someone who had better knowledge than me tagged me in a post that basically covers good facts and resources on this! I'd det it up for a scheduled reblog quarterly to make sure people kept seeing it because why are we talking about this?

It was a lot of effort to get a nice warm bath going and in the cooler places like the United Kingdom you were starting with basically colder water but people are recorded to have still bathed in rivers. People definitely sponge bathed often with linen cloths and towels, they definitely took measures to smell nice including wearing perfume and brushing their teeth. What they had and how well these things worked depended on where and how people lived, a lord might chew on a piece of cardamon for sweeter breath and a peasant would go for something more like mint.

I also personally believe what was considered "clean" and what was considered "moral" were very linked in those days. The line between being pious and being clean were a little blurred, I mean. Right now it's easy to see that being clean in a world of disease and infection is a social responsibility. A person who doesn't practice good infection control is a "bad person".

When I see more discourse on how people covered their hair as a religious principal it really hammers it home for me. Protecting hair keeps it cleaner, we know this. People washed their hair less often, but they covered it up because it's just absolutely unheard of, vane, unpious, to not do so.

Clothes

This is what I actually made my TikTok about.

I went on a pilgrimage with our Master at Arms (the person who inspects all the hard kit in our society) and we got lovely and muddy! I left my stuff with him, because he was going to wash his kit he may as well wash mine as well. Honestly, I was tired, lazy, and just couldn't be bothered to carry two bags home from his instead of one. I KNEW that there was a high chance he wouldn't do it straight away. I KNEW what would happen if he didn't. I feel guilty for putting him in that position but the repercussions are mine to deal with so that's ok. His stuffs fine so ladeedahhhh XD

People absolutely, completely, definitely washed their clothes pretty much as soon as they got muddy. Having sat and made this kit, knowing that fabric was more expensive as a proportion of your costs overall and that you'd actually want to look after these things, knowing the labour I put into these garments, I know no one would let this happen.

I'm going to keep working on washing these. I could pick up some materials to make lie from my parents, who have a log burner, but I'll give handwashing with a bar of soap a go.

This is, for me, a demonstration of how important experimental archaeology is. I could make a post on what I learned specifically from the pilgrimage.

Things I feel certain of, women probably wore winningas and I'm sure they pulled their skirts up, or at least their underskirt somehow. Just avoid getting mud on your linens, if you can. Wool seems to cope better with it in general, or maybe ours did because ours were all in brown and brown adjacent colours.

Winningas are long strips (like, 10-14') of about 3" wide, hemmed wool, secured around the foot and calves under or sometimes instead of shoes.

We did speculate that a lot of people would get more comfortable with a wimple falling off during a long pilgrimage but I'm honestly thinking maybe not, still. I think that people who wore wimples and veils and such every day were much better ta wearing them than me.

Anyway, my reflections on medieval laundry are flawed by my personal feelings. I strongly feel that someone who spent money and time making something, in a world where being dirty might make you a "bad person" but also made you look poorer and everyone hates poor people, would want to keep their linens looking as good as possible. Linens had the function of protecting your outer clothes from sweat from your body, so it may have been an accepted fact that they were just "dirtier", even though their smell deterring, sweat whicking, purposes only actually worked if you washed them quite often - like at least twice a week maybe.

Maybe I should do a few weeks in medieval kit, tilling some land and such. See how well I can cope, mostly having sponge baths, mostly just washing the linens. Hahahaha

Thank you for reading, I really enjoyed getting this off my chest!

(I spent ten minutes earlier editing this post before posting it and it somehow still posted my earlier draft FFS so sorry if you read this the awful time round!!! It's super annoying that it did that and I'm super pissed thank you Tumblr.)

[nekophiliaff]

how they move (a personal reference)

I said I was going to do a Twitter thread for my headcanons on how the characters dance in my GenIno socmed au When You Move (I’m Moved). But there was just so much to unpack. 

So my self-indulgent ass wrote a whole LONG ASS post instead!!

Most of these are just for the benefit of the the story (Sakura being unable to look alluring when dancing to sexy choreos lmao) but some of these I believe would be true outside of the story (Hinata having ballet experience, Shikamaru is a tutting machine). 

Genma Shiranui

Big Daddy G mainly dances hiphop but he is not master of one style/technique (whereas kks is god of popping and isolation, obi is a b-boy). BUT.

HE IS AMAZING AT CHOREOGRAPHY N FREESTYLE. THIS MAN. PUT ON ANY SONG. HE WILL DANCE. BEAUTIFULLY. JAZZ. HOUSE. SALSA. ANYTHING. You best believe this sexy motherfucker memorized TaeYang's Wedding Dress choreo in high school and decided from then on that he was going to be a dancer.

Ino Yamanaka

Ex-cheerleader (position: dancer and backup flyer). Used to be stiff but loosened up after time away from cheering. Mostly hiphop n absolute beast with sexy dance (but ALSO contemporary bc she is flexible ((but not as flexible as hinata)) n not afraid to fall. Oops.).

Think BP's Lisa. She takes choreo. ELEVATES IT. Sets the blueprint. Shows you what it's supposed to look like. Every choreographer's dream. Plus, she knows to communicate with the audience while performing. She is trained NOT to get too carried away or too lost in the moment.

Obito “Veto” Uchiha 

Obito loves breakdancing. He's not as fast or powerful as Gai and Lee but he knows how to work the floor. His moves are cleaner, more cohesive than the capoeira duo. When it comes to choreography, this man is GOOD but tends to FORGET STEPS bc he's TOO INTO THE MOVEMENT.

ALSO: "Naruto, Kiba, look! The parking lot is empty, let's do tUMBLES!!!!" Does stunts with Naruto, Kiba, Sasuke, Lee, and Neji.

Rin Nohara

Not originally a dancer. It will show when she's dancing with everyone else. BUT. The experience also comes across because she will never look out of place. She will execute choreo AS IT IS INTENDED.

Think how BoA dances in "Only One" or Kahi in Wall to Wall. It LOOKS EASY and SIMPLE when in reality, it's actually very difficult and requires understanding of how your body will move and look like (because if someone who isn't aware of their own body tried the Only One dance, it would most likely look AWKWARD.)

Kakashi “Kash” Hatake 

This man. Is GOD of classic locking, popping, and isolation. Will never give more power than is required of the choreo. His movements are smooth. Clean. Precise. He has full understanding and control of his body. Good in freestyle. Revels in minute movements.

Weakness? Do NOT expect him to CHOREOGRAPH a whole routine. He cannot. For the life of him. Create a routine.

Sakura Haruno

She. Is an absolute BEAST. This woman will stand beside Naruto and Chouji. and KRUMP. Total opposite of Kakashi's precision. She can pop like kks but hers is not as clean bc she puts more power in releasing her muscles. If they danced together, it would prolly look like this (skip to 0:38).

Sakura cannot EVER look alluring in a sexy choreo. She's got too much power (and swag). She can dance it. But it doesn't look sexy on her. It comes across more as attitude.

Tenten

Took martial arts as a kid (arnis). Transferred all that athleticism into dance. Will get doWN ON THE FLOOR WITH THE B-BOYS MAN (it's why she always got her hair tied) and just SPIN.

Also: Freestyle! When outside of a dance circle (a “cypher”), Tenten will make use of the surroundings to dance. practicing in the park?? ok lemme just juMP ON THAT LAMP POST and DANCE. parking lot??? OMG it’s veto’s car lemme just kick on it a lil bit on Rin’s behalf. 

Hinata Hyuuga

Took ballet as a kid. HATED the control. HATED being too restricted. Taught herself contemporary and eventually hip hop (oh how the Hyuuga clan GASPED). Helps Genma choreograph contemporary numbers for S-Rank but mostly dances them with Sasuke.

As for hip hop, Hinata SERVES!!! Sakura’s POWER is overwhelming but Hina will hold her own just fine and will KILL YOU with the attitude in her EYES ok. Hinata working sexy routines with Rin is also a must-see.

Sasuke Uchiha*

Took ballet as a kid. Go-to guy for contemporary numbers. Only trusts Hinata to choreograph (and dance with) for contemp bc she's the only one WHO UNDERSTANDS the forms and techniques.

In hip hop, like Rin, he does the choreo AS INTENDED. He is also used for stunts sometimes because he jumps high n come on twinkle toes let's use that ballet experience to good use.

Shikamaru “Bullshik” Nara

No words for the TUTTING GENIUS. Clean angles. Fast hands. Can create scENERIES USING A WHOLE TEAM'S FINGERS, HANDS, ARMS, ELBOWS with his choreography. Ya know, like this but faSTER. 

Like Kakashi, he is also a master of popping and isolation. Not so much locking. Locking needs a lil more energy to pull off. He's too tired for that.

Shino Aburame

ROBOTIC. That's it. Jk. Also a master of popping, locking, and isolation but he has a specific style he sticks to whereas Kakashi is mostly just freestylin it n feeling the groove. Kash actually likes dancing with Shino and Shikamaru (my lovely funky trio). But Shino is mostly focused on his own thing. 

The one time Shino choreographed, Kakashi danced with him n it looked like this (it mellow af man).

Chouji “Ciao” Akimichi

S-Rank's very own KRUMP KING. Chouji is POWER incarnate. And only Sakura and Naruto can stand next to him, dance next to him when he's doing his thing. He may not be as FAST and AGILE as his teammates but. He will CRUSH choreo if u tell him to let loose. 

Break a leg? Chouji will BREAK THE FUCKIGN FLOOR with this routine!!!! 

Naruto Uzumaki

Almost a male version of Sakura only he isn’t afraid of stunts (yea she can’t even cartwheel). Takes ur Tiktok choreos and gives it the ENERGY it deserves!!!!! But, like Obito, he tends to FORGET CHOREO esp when he's feelin the music.

Also the glorified HYPE MAN of S-Rank. Someone else dancing in the circle? “YEEEAAAAA WORK IT!!!!!” Dancing WITH the team during training or on stage? “AYE AYE AYE LETS GOOOOO” his energy is CONTAGIOUS. 

Kiba Inuzuka

This man. An absolute SLUT FOR STUNTS. He rly prefers doing stunts than the dancing, tbh. Always pulling Naruto so they can practice whatever NEW THING he came up with!!!! (he mostly likes stunts bc the more impressive, the more the crowd cheers and he is a whore for cheers) he'd totally come up with smth like this with naruto, genma, and obito!

He is also good at creating choreo. But Kiba, pls STOP with the pelvic thrusts. Not all the routines need a pelvic thrust, u horndog. 

Neji “NJ” Hyuuga 

You mean ALL 3 JUNIOR members (and Gai) have martial arts experience?!??? Neji has a black belt in Taekwondo but that doesn’t matter. he is mostly just here for choreography. BUT this man is precise af. Never misses a beat. Is all about hitting those complimentary beats in between counts and listens for other instruments in the song.

Rock Lee (and Maito Gai*) 

Lee and Gai (both have some training in capoeira). Two peas in a pod. Both super into old school hiphop and breakdancing!!!!! Before Gai's injury, he and Gai were the ULTIMATE B-BOY duo. 

*Sasuke and Gai (along with Kurenai and Asuma) are no longer part of S-Rank, sadly. 

Ending note: I might make another post with just links to choreos and who I feel they belong to lmao bc this was way too fun to conceptualize. I didn’t include choreos to GenIno bc I don’t wanna spoil some of the other stuff lmao.

[zamilemzizi]

A trip down lockdown memory lane!

A trip down memory lane

As my business steadily builds itself back up, with a new face and some Covid-influenced changes, I look back at what it was like for a few months last year as just the “Mom.” The South African lockdown, one of the strictest in the world at that time, forced most of us Marketing and PR SME owners to close our doors and focus on creating a safe and “new normal” environment for ourselves and our families.

My parents both contracted the Corona Virus and so, it was left up to me to care for ALL five grandchildren for a few months. Including my own children, I had two five-year-olds’ (one boy; Wandi and one girl; Koli), one nine-year-old girl (Thotse), a twelve-year-old girl (Lungi) and the legend himself, my two-year-old son (Bugsy) whom you will have read a lot about on my personal Facebook page. As if that was not enough, we rescued an eight-week-old puppy (Luna) too!

Being a person known for preferring the company of all the Mzizi grandchildren, I was up for the challenge of this time spent being reacquainted with the daily struggle of just-being-the-mom-with-no-work without the pressure of having to go to work.

I acknowledge that my experience of this time is grossly different to that of a majority of my fellow countrymen/women, who struggled to make ends meet. Zam’s Hive started a fund, which generously received funds donated by almost ALL of my clients, close friends and colleagues from my place of work. We used these funds to assist families who wrote in via WhatsApp and SMS stating what their urgent needs were and paired them with the correct donor. I was astounded at how the people I knew were able to look beyond their own experience of the Lockdown, and were able to give the little (or lot) that they had to keep hope alive.

However, being the stay-at-home mom yielded quite a few hilarious experiences, which naturally, I shared on social media as they happened. Here are some of these posts. I hope they make you chuckle a bit at my expense. I hope they remind you that no matter how bleak the situation, our inner circle, our families, our children, the people that matter most to us are the ones we should keep our focus on.

How the wars began…

Wandi’s benevolent fart

Raising boys is a BREEZE!

My Wandi has reached that age where every hug and cuddle is a conscious decision on his part to be with me. It says, ' I choose to be near YOU. I choose you, mommy'

So imagine my joy as I was working in my office and my big boy chose that moment to sit on my lap...

He sat facing me, flashed his special smile and said' 'Mommy, let me show you how much I love you'

He put his hands on my shoulders and closed his beautiful brown eyes. I could see him mentally reaching deep within himself in order to share what he had to say. Then...

I felt it. A persistent drill-like hammering on my sturdy thigh where his bony bum was perched.

The stench was instant and the fog it created in my mind was confusion personified. I could not immediately compute that my baby came all this way just to fart on me. As realization dawned on me, my little angel held onto me just a little bit tighter to keep me in place as the hammer-drill was still operating. My thin leggings were no barrier from the barrage of bodily functions battering my poor skin.

During this assault, Wandi did not change his facial expression at all. He looked like a little Buddha bestowing a blessing upon a lesser mortal.

When he was done, he nimbly sprang off my leg and bestowed a beguiling cherubic smile upon me. Slowly reversing from the room with his cheesy smile and eyes closed, he blessed me with his benevolent ' enjoy the smell mommy' and quietly closed the door.

Bugsy drinks shit water

I'm on my knees begging for this changeling to be taken. Return Bugsy pre-terrible twos to me please!

I went into the toilet for a teensy while. I'd been holding it in for some time chasing my kids around. To my knowledge, fake Bugsy was safely chilling on my bed.

As my empty bladder and I float out the bathroom, changeling proudly displays a cup of water he is drinking...now this is a problem because all taps and cups are beyond his reach. This cup looks like the dirty one I ignored on the floor a teensy while back- are you judging me Karen?!

I frantically urge fake son to show me if he got water from the other toilet. He proudly replies, ' I no drink here Wandi peepee here' This is good. It's great actually. Wandi has diarrhea and drinking from his toilet could kill someone. Never mind Corona.

So I drag the smirking not-really-my-son into the kitchen to wash this mysterious cup. At this stage I'm fuming at the lord thinking 'turn this crap into wine NOW'

As I wash the still alcohol free cup, I turn to find swopped-at-birth guy smacking his lips and drinking from the bucket mqobothi style.

MY HEART SKIPS A BEAT!

I used water and Jik to clean dog poop just now. I spilled the water but clearly not all of it. What's worse here? Jik poisoning or dog poop poisoning?

The terror child is ok. I gave him milk and surrendered the rest to his creator.

I'm ok. I have a new twitch in my eye and I think I might have peed my pants a little. But otherwise baaah I'm good.

No really.

Just fine.

Look- fake son took the tin of milk and smeared the stuff on himself.

I'm just FINE!

Then the tensions were rising

The stand off

In a bid to demonstrate his defiance of my authority, my two year old has taken the long life milk and some shopping bags to an undesirable corner of the house. He has boldly announced that, 'I puttinnnin me in noty cona' This is his strategy to deprive my authority of putting him in a corner myself. The standoff continues...

Sulking in the shower

I swear I don't make this stuff up...

Wandi just played with matches and his cousins came to tell on him. Naturally I gave him 'the look' times 10. He says to me,

'I know you're cross with me and wont talk to me.'

He stalks off to the shower and sits there while singing his new and spontaneously composed struggle song. The words weren't too clear but this is what I heard:

Take me away in peace, take me away in peace.

 Please note he has taken to eating some of his meals in this shower.

Can someone please send me a bottle of gin??!      Its for the kids.

 The breaking point

Exacting revenge in small ways

My kids broke my hair clippers machine while I was cutting them. So now I'm leaving them with unfinished cuts because one needs to take revenge wherever the opportunity may present itself-even if it's your own kids. They think they know me. Mxim!

 Mom flu strike

I've been in bed with flu for a week now. During this my kids haven't given me an inch of space and rest.

I'm still a horse, jungle gym, chef, personal snot cleaner and unwilling audience to dance shows and song decompositions.

Tonight was just the worst! I went to the chemist for more meds and so needed a nap from the trip. Only to realize that I'd over slept and it was supper time.

After a mad dash to cook, serve and feed the royal highnesses, I'd had enough.

Where am I now? What am I doing now? These are all relevant questions I'm happy to answer for you.

I'm in my bedroom. For the first time since I became a mother, I have done the only sensible thing a tired parent can do...

I'VE LOCKED MY BEDROOM DOOR BIYAAACHES!

The situation update is as follows:

Hostile!

1.  Two year old has attempted breaking door down

I DON'T CARE!

2. Five year old has resorted to creepy body plastering against door and quietly chanting 'mooommyyyy can we have ice cream while you die?'

I  DON'T   CARE

3. In a rare show of solidarity the boys are now howling like wolves outside the door, throwing in the odd 'moooommmy where are youuuu'

I    D O N T   C A R E!

4. Nine year old niece has increased the volume and frequency of her coughing

IIIIIIIII DOOOOOOOONT CAAAAAAARE!

I'm at peace in my warm bed. Let the siege continue I have all that I need in here. A bathroom, all the toilet paper in the house, the only phone with airtime and did I mention -I'm the only person tall enough to cook. Muhahuahua!

They will know me!

 The resolution?

Wandi prays for peace

So as usual the kids were acting up and driving me crazy before bedtime. This time however, the transgressions were extreme.

Someone didn't pee INSIDE the toilet but decided to mark his territory next to it instead.

Another decided to generously leave food on a dinner plate and put it in the kitchen sink for Santa maybe.

Another was dejectedly roaming the passage without pajama bottoms like a homeless person. Left to wander the night in shame and bottomlessness.

This was the last straw and I blew my top off.

EVERYONE TO BED WITHOUT A STORY NOW!

Even the little one understood that Armageddon was nigh, and scurried into bed as fast as his fat stubby legs could carry him (only half way up the bed usually).

In an unusually respectful and hesitant tone, Wandi bravely reminded me that I forgot to pray. So fine! I asked God to please help me make my children good etc.

Wandi again bravely offered to pray too and this is where he played his master plan into action (he never wants to pray):

Wandi: Dear God, please make all my dreams come true. The end.

 Yes. He said the end and not AMEN. I felt a reluctant smile coming on but I was wise to the enemy.

The next morning the kids all came to greet me in that way guilty kids do hoping for a cease-fire.

'Good morning rakhali' etc.

Then the master played his Ace move.

Wandi: In the name of Jesus, good morning everyone!

 How could I remain grumpy after my son evoked the name of Jesus?!

He's goooooood. One point to Wandi. None to me.

 Please subscribe to my blog and follow me on social media for more insights into; what goes on in the life of a working mom building an empire. All the links are below. My women’s network as well as my courses are also available on this site.

[sad-boy-mono]

High School Casualties 

Chapter 3/?

Word Count- 1,719

Master Post with Ao3 link

After Shayne quickly re-filled his water bottle at a water fountain outside the bathroom, the two boys made their way to the nurses office. Shayne glancing to Damien every so often to make sure he wouldn’t pass out again.

“So, how’re you feeling?” Shayne asked not to long into their walk.

“Kinda better, I don’t think I’m gonna take another spill just yet.”

Ok good. I mean he looks fine. Well not exactly fine. I don’t think he’s looked fine all day, but getting shit sleep will do that to you.

“Well I guess I do look kinda rough but damn dude!” Damien exclaimed with faux offense. “I mean you’re not wrong, but damn!”

Shayne’s face contorted into a look of shock and confusion. “W-what are you talking about?”

“Did you not just speak?” Damien laughed, thinking that Shayne was messing with him.

“No... I didn’t...” Shayne stuttered, shaking his head no. 

“Strange, I could’ve sworn you said something!” Damien insisted.

“But I didn’t. At least not aloud.” Shayne said, mumbling his last sentence.

“What was that last part? You kinda trailed off at the end.”

“What? Oh nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“Ok then...”

They two continued their walk in silence. Shayne glancing at Damien now with confusion added to the concern. 

Can Damien read minds? No, no I’m just thinking to much into this. You probably just said it aloud without realizing it. But wait didn’t something like this happen earlier? It happened a few times- No, Shayne chill the fuck out. It’s all in your head. You probably said it out loud and didn’t realize it. Maybe you need to get more sleep too.

How did I- I could’ve sworn I heard him say something! Heh, maybe those jokes about me being psychic are true! HAH if only. That would be cool. Being psychic. But how did I hear Shayne! He’s messing with me, he HAS to be! Shayne is one hell of an actor after all so that could’ve be-

“-amien we’re here.” Shayne said, causing Damien to jump. “Woah, sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you there.” Shayne chuckled.

“Naha it’s fine,” Damien laughed along. “Let’s head in.”

Shayne opened up the door for his friend, giving an exaggerated bow as he did so. Damien snorted and bowed back at his friend before walking in.

“Sorry, I’ll be with you in one second kiddos!” exclaimed a voice coming from behind the large desk on the other side of the room. “A picture frame fell of my desk and broke so I gotta clean up the glass real quick.”

“Ok yeah, no problem.” Damien called back with a thumbs up. 

“She can’t see the thumbs up, I don’t know why I did that.” Damien mumbled just loud enough that Shayne could hear, making him let out a wheezy laugh.

“You’re so stupid.” Shayne whispered through his laugh.

“Alright boys, sorry about that.” The nurse said coming out from behind the desk. “What can I do for you?”

“Uh yeah, my friend here-” Shayne pointed over to a now very anxious looking Damien, “-hasn’t really been feeling well today. He almost passed out in the halls.”

“Oh dear! Well, why don’t you- what’s your name hun?” The woman asked sweetly.

“Oh um, Damien.” Damien answered, fidgeting with the cuff of his hoodie.

“Alright Damien, why don’t you go lay down in that room right down there.”She pointed to a small hallway with 6 rooms, 3 on each side. “First door on your right, no way you can miss it!”

Damien mumbled a quick thanks to her as he slowly made his way to the room, glancing at Shayne before he went in.

“Ok and now for you...”

“Shayne.”

“Ok and now for you Shayne, let’s get you a hall pass written up so your teacher will know you weren’t skipping class.” The nurse dug through her desk and pulled out a small slip of yellow paper. “Which teacher do you have next?”

“Mr. Moss for PE.”

“Oh well please tell him I say hi! David such a nice guy. He’s so fun. Oh but I’m rambling-” She handed Shayne the hall pass, “-here you go hun, have a nice day!” 

“Thanks, you too.” Shayne took the slip and walked out of the room with a wave.

===

Damien had taken one more glance at Shayne before he walked into the room. 

He never really like going to the nurse. It just made him uneasy. He never had a bad experience really, other than dealing with a rude nurse that obviously hated children and teenagers despite the fact that they chose to work with children and teenagers. But he had no real reason other than that. 

Damien sat down on the bright red-orange sofa-like bed in the room. It wasn’t very comfortable and your skin would stick to it when it was hot. And it made a deep groan anytime there was any sort of movement, but it beats laying on a shitty cot.

He looked around the beige room. It had what you’d expect there to be in a nurses office plus some more stuff. Some basic first aid kits on the wall, a desk, a sink with a stack of small paper cups next to it, and a small freezer for ice packs. Then there were cupboards that lined the wall that were littered with photos of children and drawings made most likely by said children. It put his mind at ease, no one would have a child if they hated children. 

“Alright dear-” Damien, once deep in though, jumped at the nurses sudden appearance, “-ope sorry dear didn’t mean to scare ya! Probably should’ve knocked first.” The nurse laughed sitting down at the desk. 

“Oh i-it’s fine.” Damien said through a forced chuckle. 

“Alright but anyways, what seems to be the problem dear?” The nurse pulled out a piece of paper along with a pen from the desk. “Your friends told me that you almost fainted? Do you know what might of caused that?”

“Um well, I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night so I’ve been pretty tired all day.” Damien rambled, fidgeting with the, weirdly sharp, corner of the bed.

“Hmm, ok anything else that you can think of?” The nurse asked, standing up to grab smomething from the cupboard.

“I didn’t have time to eat breakfast this morning, was in a bit of a rush.” The nurse nodded, and grabbed another thing from the cupboard.

“Alright, Damien I’m just gonna take your temp real quick. It’s just gonna roll over your forehead. It’s cleaner that way.” she took the thermometer and had the ball at the end roll across Damien’s forehead, exactly like she said. 

The nurse took a close look at the screen before writing something down on the paper she grabbed.

“Alright Damien, you don’t seem to have any sort of fever. So if you want you can rest hear until your next class and we can see how you feel then, or I can call one of your parents to come pick you up now if you think that’s gonna be a better option.” 

Damien spent a few moment debating his options. 

Going home would be nice, but mom and dad are at work. Well she could just call up my sister instead. But if you go home, then you’d have worked on you essay all night for nothing! Ugh ok

“I’ll just stay here and rest for a bit.” Damien concluded.

“Ok that totally works! In the mean time you have these,” she said and handed Damien a few packets of crackers, “and if you need to there’s cups for water by the sink, you can go ahead and grab some if you need it! I’ll just email your teacher, let them know where you are and you can rest up a bit!” The nurse grabbed the piece of paper on her desk and began to walk out of the room before quickly coming to a stop.

“Shoot, I should probably get the name of your teacher shouldn’t I? Who’s your teacher for this period?”

“Oh uh Mr. Ovenshire for physical science.”

“All righty, and what’s your last name hun?”

“Haas, H-A-A-S.”

“Ok perfect, have a nice rest kiddo!” The nurse said, closing the door so it was only open a crack.

Damien laid down onto the bed to face the wall. He opened on of the packets of crackers and ate them.

Well that didn’t go so bad! You got some crackers, there’s water and you get to sleep. I should tell Shayne I’m not dead. Damien though to himself, grabbing his phone from his pocket. 

Damien

Not dead gonna nap :) See you at lunch probably

Damien slid his phone back into his pocket and closed his eyes. Within seconds, he fell asleep.

===

How?

How did that happen?

Oh god what did I do?

FUCK 

I didn’t think that would happen!

How the fuck did that happen?!

Oh god is he bleeding?

He was so far away from the wall! 

How did he-

I didn’t even throw the ball that hard!

Oh god he’s gonna hate me.

Everyone’s gonna hate me!

But it was an accident!

I SWEAR

FUCK

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!

===

The sound of the bell yanked Damien from his, somewhat peaceful, sleep. 

Was that a dream? That felt to real to be a dream. And who was speaking? It sounded like Shayne? Damien thought to himself, before being interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Hey hun, just checking in on ya. How are you feeling?” The nurse asked, peeking her head in through the door.

“Much better actually, thanks.” 

“Oh it’s just my job! If you’re feeling better, feel free to head to your next class and have a nice day!”

“Thanks, you too.” Damien said, grabbing his bag off the floor and walked out of the office, waving to the nurse when he walked out the door. 

Gotta find Shayne. Shit no you should call him first.

Damien pulled his phone out of his pocket and ducked into the nearest bathroom as he dialed up Shayne’s number

“Come on, pick up baby boy.” Damien whispered impatiently as his phone rang, waiting for the other line to pick up.

===

A/N- Surprise! I got this out much quicker than expected! But y'all deserve it since chapter 2 took so long for me to get out! Also if you're thinking "Wow that nurse is really over the top," good cuz that's how I pictured her to be! Kinda based on the nurse at my old school but like times 10. Anyways stay tuned for the next chapter and thanks for reading :D

[mimzy-writing-online]

Writing Blind or Visually Impaired Characters: Narrative

Before I get started, I want to refer you back to part one of this post which covers how to craft your blind character. The reason for this referral is because it involves determining what caused your character to go blind and what they see themselves. What your blind or visually impaired character is capable of seeing is crazy important to what kind of narrative you’re using.

Link to the Master Post: https://mimzy-writing-online.tumblr.com/post/185122795699/writing-a-blind-or-visually-impaired-character

Link to Part One, Crafting your Character: https://mimzy-writing-online.tumblr.com/post/185123396964/writing-a-blind-or-visually-impaired-character

Every post I make about writing blind characters, both now and future, will be tagged #blindcharacter on my blog. Follow this blog for more writing advice.

Disclaimer: I have been visually impaired for the last two years of my life, and I have written with two blind characters, using specifically their first person POV, so this is really getting into my experience there. This will also involve some real life experience and memories that I, a visually impaired person, have.

Narrative Choice

If your character is the main character than you have to make the choice between writing in first person and writing in third person. If you character is a secondary character or a background character, narrative choice won’t be as important, but you still need to be aware of what they can see in a particular moment and scene because it will affect how they act in that moment.

First Person

I personally think writing a blind character in first person is always the ideal. This allows your readers to inhabit the character and see what they see, or don’t see. Readers want to temporarily experience someone else’s life, and if they’re reading a story with a blind main character then they want to experience that person’s life fully.

There are drawbacks. You have to work in terms of what your character can and cannot perceive. That can make scene description hard (I will include tips for that down below) and it can be easy to slip up and forget that your character shouldn’t be able to see the color of someone’s eye, their smile, a passing street sign, the color of a gifted scarf. You have to learn to work inside their limits. If there are places you mess up and accidentally write them perceiving too much with their sight, then all you need to do is edit.

Again, there will be narrative tips for first person down below.

Third Person

The drawback to third person is the inability to inhabit the life of your character. It’s much easier to slip up and include things your character shouldn’t be able to see. Your readers will probably forget how blind your character is if they read pages and pages with great visual description and then be surprised when your character verbally remarks that they didn’t see X and Y and Z. You still have to work with what your character can realistically see and it’s much easier to forget if you’re watching their life from a bird’s eye view instead of through their eyes.

Third person is something I would recommend if it is your preferred writing style and you struggle with first person. I would still recommend at least trying first person before you nix the idea.

Again, narrative choice isn’t as crucial if your blind character isn’t your main character.

Describing the Visual World through your Blind Character in First Person

This is where thoroughly visualizing what your character can and cannot see because hugely important. Even if your character only has light and shadow perception left, there are plenty of ways to give visuals to your character’s world.

Some of this might even sound like cheating.

Depending on how old your character was when they went blind, they may still remember what it was like to have sight. Yes, this sounds like cheating, but it’s very possible that your character might remember what their home, neighborhood, friends, and family look like. However they may eventually forget and that depends largely on time. I’m jumping back to Molly Burke real quick. 

Her YouTube channel here (since it’s the first mention of her in this specific part of the post): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwf9TcLyS5KDoLRLjke41Hg

Molly lost most of her vision when she was 14, but before that she did see colors and nature and what her family looked like (she was always legally blind though, since birth) but Molly is 25 now and it’s been ten years now since she lost the rest of her vision. She doesn’t remember what colors look like or what certain animals look like now because she hasn’t seen them in 10 years. She knows which colors look nice together, but that’s from years of social learning, people saying what colors they think look good together and which colors clash. So if it’s been a long time since your character lost their vision, or if they moved away from the town they grew up in, they probably don’t have any visual memory to use.

Your readers will create their own scenery automatically. They already do with sighted narrators. No matter how thoroughly you describe a room or a house or a beach they will always see it with their mind, and their mind will always use the things they know to see. (I personally use layouts of houses I’ve been to before when reading a book with a character who lives in a house, and same with apartments that I’ve been in, and my mind’s picture is never identical to the writer’s but that can’t be helped.)

So your readers know what a suburban neighborhood looks like. They know what a beach looks like, or a forest, or a meadow of flowers, or a late fall afternoon looks like. They know what schools, hospitals, department stores, and restaurants look like. Their brains will automatically fill in the narrative gaps with the details that belong there, you just have to tell them where they are, or where the character understands themselves to be.

A trick for triggering the right mental picture in just a few words: Use location, mood, time of day, how crowded it is, and aesthetic. A quiet and peaceful beach versus a crowded beach littered with trash. Two different settings, but described in only a few words. A modern, busy coffee shop versus a relaxed hipster coffee shop. Loud nightclub? Smokey jazz lounge? Dark dive bar? Dingy public bathroom? Clean, modern bathroom? They all invoke different images in your head based on past experiences you’ve had but I only used a few words for each location.

Unless you’re like me and have absolutely no experience with nightclubs and have no idea what they’re like because you’re not about that life, so whatever you picture is based off Oliver Queen’s bar on Arrow because you’ve seen enough clips of it.

Things your character will always know (unless in special circumstance)

-Location (unless they were kidnapped or blacked out and woke up somewhere new, in which case you get to decide how they figure out where they are)

-Time of day (unless drugged or just particularly awful with time keeping like me)

-North, East, South, West (blind people are better at this than sighted people actually. They teach themselves to be so they don’t get lost.)

-Season and climate they live in

-If where they are is crowded or deserted or somewhat populated, and if the current amount of people is odd for this particular location and time.

That is enough to get a setting started, but then you add in non-sight sensory details.

Your character’s other senses can pick up the other details.

They’ll hear the leaves crunching under their feet and scraping against the pavement as they move their cane, hear the traffic or the kids playing in the park or the footsteps behind them on a quiet street or the skateboards whizzing past. They’ll feel the sand under their fingers, the soft sink of grass under their sneakers, slippery mud, the cracked pavement or the bumpy asphalt under their cane, or the peeled paint on the wall chipping under their nails, or sticky syrup on the table they didn’t see before they put their hand there. They’ll feel the sun on their cheeks. They’ll feel the chill of the wind. They’ll smell the food in the restaurant they’re visiting, or smell the pinesol floor cleaner, or the smelly dumpster they’re passing, or the wet dirt after rain. (When I walk outside I usually can smell the wet dirt before I see the wet puddles on the ground) Their senses can add details their eyes never could.

As a writer in general, you need to get use to using all five senses when writing, but consider this the extra mile where you use them to compensate for the lack of visual description.

Describing Conversations without Sight

That sounds like a contradiction, but there’s a lot more sight involved in a conversation than you think. Somewhere between 60 and 90% of communication is non verbal (I’ve heard multiple versions of this statistic and I can’t be bothered to look it up again myself)

This means what your characters are saying isn’t the only information you’re getting. Sighted people can use body posture and facial expression to get a feeling on someone’s mood during a conversation. A frown or a smile, crossed arms, sharp and agitated arm gestures or flowing and light arm gestures. Rolled eyes, annoyed looks, shared glances, funny faces, all of it. In some cases your blind character might see the smile or the body posture, if they have enough sight to allow for that, but if they don’t?

Your character doesn’t know who’s smiling or frowning, or what their friends look like when they do those things. Shared glances aren’t possible and your character won’t notice their friend rolling their eyes.

(Not unless their specific amount of vision allows them to sometimes see these facial expressions, such as when they’re very close and the lighting is good)

Your character is using vocal tone and word choice to find the emotion of the speaker. Fast talking implies urgency or excitement. Broken sentences or stuttering implies anxiety, shyness, guilt, lying, agitation. Calm tones, slow talking, and light laughter implies easy conversation with no tension. Mispronounced words or slurred words imply drunkenness, exhaustion, or injury.

Friends and Family Sometimes Fill in the Details You Don’t See

This is personal experience I’m writing from. It’s very common for my friends and family to point visual details out for me when I’m out and about, especially if they’re details I would care about seeing or that would make me happy to know, and these are all real things they’ve mentioned to me.

“There’s an orange cat on that roof.” “There’s a really nice garden over there, lots of roses.” “There’re two kids outside playing with light sabers.” “There are parrots in the trees above us.” “There’s a street performer across the street.” “There’s another person walking by with a cane twenty feet away from you.” (This happened yesterday before my last class of the semester, so fresh memory) “Oh, there are pride flags hanging from that building.” (that was last summer on a drive through a nearby town during June, and I was very happy about it)

Or mentioning things that might be a hazard for me- “There’s a big crowd coming up.” “We’re walking into the parking lot now” “There are some orange cones ahead” “There’s a nearby ladder, walk to your right.” “There are some skateboarders coming towards us.”

Or mentioning social things of interest- “That person is checking you out.” (flirting) “That person is staring at you.” (rude) “There’s a cute guy/girl over there.” “Friend A does not look like they’re enjoying talking to friend B.” or “Friends A and C are dancing/smoking outside/laughing/staring at their phones.” Anything really.

Sometimes it’s things that are inappropriate and rude and judgey, but trust me when I say that people will tell you about it when you can’t see it. “Wow, that girl’s outfit is terrible.” or “Wow her roots are bad.” or “That dude looks like he hasn’t shaved and showered in a month.” or “I don’t like this tattoos.” or “He looks like a troll.” If your blind character has a companion who’s especially judgey, these might be things they say.

Identifying Other People in a Conversation

Here’s an important question. Does your character see enough to identify someone by their face or body or walking style? No? Here’s what you need-

If a good friend or a nice classmate walks up to your character, they should say, “Hey Matt, it’s Kara” or introduce themselves somehow so that your character knows who they’re talking to, and then the conversation starts.

If you’re going to tell me that your character recognizes everyone by the sound of their voice, I’m going to tell you that you’re wrong.

Humans aren’t capable of producing super unique vocal tones and ranges that set them apart from the other 7 billion here, and humans, (even the super powered blind people I’m going to tell you to avoid writing in part three) even blind humans are not capable of recognizing everyone’s voice.

Your character might recognize a specific voice if its- 

1) Their parents or their siblings or their best friends or their teachers, maybe. I can’t pick my mom’s voice out in a crowd, so obviously that’s not a guarantee 

2) They might recognize someone if they have a recognizable accent that few other people in your character’s life have. American friend in the U.K. or a Russian classmate in America with an accent.

3) That person has an exceptionally high or low voice that really stands out. Not likely though.

If they do recognize that person, they probably only recognize them in context. I recognize teacher’s voices if I’m in the specific part of campus I normally see them in. I recognize some -some- of my classmate’s voices if I’m physically in that class, but I’d never pick them out of a voice line up on a different side of campus. I recognize actors voices if I’m watching TV (actually, it’s more that I recognize dialogue of movies and tv shows I’ve watched before and remember who played what part)

In certain circumstances, yes, maybe your character would recognize someone’s voice. Please use the “Hi Matt, it’s Kara, have you finished the homework yet?” method because it’s so much more reliable and I would love it it the people who read your works learn to start introducing themselves that way to their blind friends.

Obviously, not all of your characters will know to introduce themselves to you this way, or may forget, but hopefully your blind character has taught their friends well enough to do that.

I will leave that as Part Two. It’s been five hours since I started this project and it’s way past midnight. Feel free to leave me asks about writing blind characters. I will always be happy to answer your asks.

Follow this blog for more writing advice (and not just for blind characters)

[ownfact]

How to unfollow everyone on Instagram in 2020

How do I unfollow everyone on Instagram?    

 Every once in awhile we get an email from our readers asking how to unfollow everyone on Instagram. Some even want to know the   best Instagram unfollow app   so that they can attempt to   mass unfollow everyone on Instagram   in an instant. Instead of responding to the emails individually, we thought it would be more convenient if we’d create a comprehensive guide on how to unfollow everyone on Instagram. We should first look at some of the reasons you’d want to unfollow everyone on Instagram before exploring the best    instagram unfollow app   

  Reasons for unfollowing everyone on Instagram      Start a clean slate     Sometimes you just really need a clean slate, you’ve followed the same people for 6 years, seen the same old content. You feel you’ve outgrown the content the people that you follow post, frankly, it gets monotonous and boring. This may be your cue to unfollow everyone on Instagram.

    Clean up timeline     You may not want to unfollow everyone on Instagram. But you may have users who frequently post undesirable content, unfollowing such users can help clean up your timeline.

    You’ve reached your follow limit     Instagram allows you to follow a maximum of 7500 users for each account. In order to be able to follow more people, you’ll need to unfollow some of the users you are following in order to make room to follow others.

    You’ve changed your business model     If you are running a business account and you’ve changed your business model, it would make sense to unfollow users from your previous niche, in order to make room for following new users in the new niche you’ve ventured into.

    You’re unable to view posts from close friends and family     When following too many users on Instagram, your feed can easily get clogged by posts from people you don’t have a close relationship with, so much so that you won’t be able to view posts from people you actually care about. In such a case the easy thing to do would be to unfollow everyone else except those you would wish to keep around.

   Related:    Who unfollowed me on Instagram  ?  A tutorial on how to find out who unfollowed you on Instagram .    How to know if you need to unfollow everyone on Instagram   Here’s what your follower/following ratio says about you  (the number represents the ratio of your following compared to the number of followers you have – 400 is <0.5x of 1,000, 500-1,000 is 0.5-1x of 1,000, etc.):

  <0.5 Spammer:  You are inexperienced with Instagram automation tools and are spamming followers in hope for follows back.

  0.5-1 Suspicious:  You are likely to be using Instagram automation tools, but are following the wrong people or have poor quality content leading to poor follow back rates.

  1-2 Normal:  You have some success with Instagram automation, but need to focus on other strategies to drive more engagement.

  2-10 Micro-Influencer:  Users that are either master of Instagram automation or has incredible content to grow their account.

  10+ Influencer:  Likely to be micro-celebrities or rising stars that are popular on other social media channels.

 If you’re in the <0.5 Spammer or 0.5-1 Suspicious bracket and you want to add some credibility to your channel, you need to mass unfollow on Instagram.

  Who should you include when performing a mass unfollow on Instagram?   Here’s a composition of followers that may necessitate  you to unfollow everyone on Instagram

   Inactive accounts     Bot/Fake accounts    Those who haven’t followed you back      The conventional way of unfollowing everyone on Instagram     1.   Sign in to Instagram and then press the “Profile” button.      2.   Press the “following” box that displays the number of people you’re following on Instagram.      3.   Press the green “Following” button next to the first person on the list to stop following that person. Make sure the button becomes a blue Follow button.      4.   Repeat the previous step for up to 200 people that Instagram displays in the list.      5.   Sign out of Instagram or continue to use it but don’t follow or unfollow anyone. Wait about an hour and then repeat the previous steps to unfollow another 200 people until you’ve unfollowed everyone on your list.   As obviously noted the above process is tedious and frankly, nerve-wracking, don’t worry we have a simpler method    Apps to unfollow everyone on Instagram   There are many  unfollow app  in the market today that claim to have this functionality including the option to   remove followers on Instagram  , caution, however, should be observed, Instagram has made several upgrades that may result in a ban if you tried unfollowing everyone on Instagram. As a matter of fact, an attempt to unfollow 500 users at a go may plunge you into a blocked or banned account. There is however a   Social Media Automation tool   that has stood the test of time and is frankly unrivaled.   JARVEE   is an intelligent tool that mimics normal human behavior and runs on autopilot. This is to say that, after successfully setting up, you sit back while  JARVEE  does the job for you.

    Go here and download a free trial    of this advanced social media automation tool for free. The trial period is 5 days which is time enough to unfollow everyone on Instagram. (No credit card details required)

  PS: JARVEE also supports   Facebook,   Google+,   Twitter  ,   Pinterest  , Tumblr, LinkedIn, and   Youtube   platforms. 

  Once you’ve registered and installed the tool, use the details sent to your email to log in to the app.  Here you are going to add your Instagram account (s)-depending on the downloaded package you can automate as many Instagram accounts as possible.  To add your account on  JARVEE , click on  SOCIAL PROFILE  on the left Menu bar.  Now click on  ADD PROFILE  and select  INSTAGRAM .  Fill in your Instagram login details and click  VERIFY.   Once your account is  VALIDATED , you can now click on  TOOLS  on the left Menu bar. Here you will see all the accounts that you have added on JARVEE.  To set up auto unfollow, click on the name of the account whose users you want to unfollow.  A new interface will appear with all the features available for Instagram. Since we are only interested in auto unfollowing, you’re going to click on the  UNFOLLOW  tab.  Here you have a myriad of options to go with  At this point, you need to decide whether you want to unfollow everyone or a select group of people.     Manual Way to Unfollow People On Instagram  

 In order to  unfollow everyone on Instagram  manually, follow these steps:

    Tap your profile icon on the Instagram application.  Click on the  “Following ” section and see the list of people who you follow.  Whoever you want to unfollow, click on the “ Following ” section which is written next side of the name of the person.  Confirm your request with Y/N questions.      Unfollow everyone on Instagram   Since Instagram will not allow you to  mass unfollow  instantly, we’re going to spread the unfollowing task over the 5 days trial period. Ideally, you’ll need to allocate the number of users you wish to unfollow proportionately to the 5 days trial period. For instance, if you need to unfollow 500 users, then you’ll have JARVEE unfollow 100 users per day.

 To achieve this, copy the setting as illustrated in the image below when you’re done toggle the status button to start the unfollow operation.

    Unfollow a select group of people   In this section, you’re going to decide on the users you DO NOT intend to unfollow. You’re going to achieve this by placing their user names in a  WHITELIST . You may also wish not to unfollow users that have interacted with your content. This will help keep your engagement going. Just make sure to check the two boxes that say ‘ do not unfollow likers ‘ and ‘ do not unfollow commenters ‘

 Under  USER FILTERS,  there’s an option to use the  WHITELIST . Make sure you have it checked and place the user names of the users you’d like to continue following. Once this is done, you can now toggle the STATUS button to start the process.

  Other apps include, but are not limited to:    #1. Cleaner for Instagram [Android]   This is a multi-function app for Instagram. Using this app you can delete multiple photos at a time, Mass Block & Unblock, Mass Unfollow etc.

 To Mass Unfollow, Follow the steps:

  Step 1:  First  Download & Install : Cleaner for the Instagram app on your Android device.

  Step 2:  Launch this app and login with your Instagram account username and password.

  Step 3:  Tap on ‘Following’ from the bottom bar and go with the ‘Quick Select’ blue button. Here you will many options to select the ‘following’ users. Just Tap on ‘Select All’ to unfollow all at once

  Step 4:  Now Simply Tap on  ‘Flash’  blue floating icon and Tap on the  ‘Unfollow’  option, as shown in the above image.

  Also Read: How To View & Download Instagram Profile Picture [Full Size] 

  #2. Mass Unfollow for Instagram [iOS Devices – iPhone/iPad]   ‘Mass Unfollow for Instagram’ is one of the best tools for iOS Devices to clean up your Instagram account. Using this tool you do the following task:

  Bulk block/unblock/unfollow users  Bulk delete posts  Bulk unlike posts & more…      It’s very simple to use this tool.    First  Download & Install:  Mass Unfollow for Instagram App on your iOS device (iPhone/iPad).  Login in this App with your Instagram Credentials. After that simply  select  the users from  ‘Following’  tab at the bottom bar and  Unfollow  all in a tap.    #3. Unfollow for Instagram – Non-followers & Fans [Android]    ‘Unfollow for Instagram’  is a simple Instagram Manager tool that shows you all the users who don’t follow you back and give you an option to unfollow singe or multiple users in a single tap.

  To  Mass Unfollow , First Download & Install: Unfollower for Instagram App on your Android device. Then Login with Instagram Username and password.  It will scan your Account and tell you Followers/non-followers stats. To unfollow the users who don’t follow you back, tap on  ‘Non-Followers’  Tab.  Now simply tap on  ‘Unfollow’  button from the bottom bar to unfollow all non-followers.    Download Link:  Unfollow for Instagram

  #4. Cleaner for Ins [iOS Devices – iPhone & iPad]   This is another best tool to clean up your Instagram account on your iOS devices. Steps are similar to the above ones. So Download this app from the below-given link and Unfollow Tons of people with a single tap.

  #5. Unfollowers for Instagram – Follow Cop [Android]   Follow Cop is an ultimate and elegant utility tool to manage your Instagram account. It gives you details of your Followers, Non-followers, Recent Followers etc from your account. Also, you can  Mass Unfollow  [upto 15 people in a click] from your Instagram Account.

 Steps are similar to the above ones. Download this app from the link given below and start to Clean up your Instagram account is FREE.

 That’s it.

   Feel free to reach us in the comment section or on email for any assistance. 

  Recommended:   How To Grow Your Business on Twitter in 2019  .

https://socialtipster.co/unfollow-everyone-on-instagram/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=unfollow-everyone-on-instagram

#smm #socialmediamanager

[perkdistrict]

How to unfollow everyone on Instagram in 2020

How do I unfollow everyone on Instagram?    

 Every once in awhile we get an email from our readers asking how to unfollow everyone on Instagram. Some even want to know the   best Instagram unfollow app   so that they can attempt to   mass unfollow everyone on Instagram   in an instant. Instead of responding to the emails individually, we thought it would be more convenient if we’d create a comprehensive guide on how to unfollow everyone on Instagram. We should first look at some of the reasons you’d want to unfollow everyone on Instagram before exploring the best    instagram unfollow app   

  Reasons for unfollowing everyone on Instagram      Start a clean slate     Sometimes you just really need a clean slate, you’ve followed the same people for 6 years, seen the same old content. You feel you’ve outgrown the content the people that you follow post, frankly, it gets monotonous and boring. This may be your cue to unfollow everyone on Instagram.

    Clean up timeline     You may not want to unfollow everyone on Instagram. But you may have users who frequently post undesirable content, unfollowing such users can help clean up your timeline.

    You’ve reached your follow limit     Instagram allows you to follow a maximum of 7500 users for each account. In order to be able to follow more people, you’ll need to unfollow some of the users you are following in order to make room to follow others.

    You’ve changed your business model     If you are running a business account and you’ve changed your business model, it would make sense to unfollow users from your previous niche, in order to make room for following new users in the new niche you’ve ventured into.

    You’re unable to view posts from close friends and family     When following too many users on Instagram, your feed can easily get clogged by posts from people you don’t have a close relationship with, so much so that you won’t be able to view posts from people you actually care about. In such a case the easy thing to do would be to unfollow everyone else except those you would wish to keep around.

   Related:    Who unfollowed me on Instagram  ?  A tutorial on how to find out who unfollowed you on Instagram .    How to know if you need to unfollow everyone on Instagram   Here’s what your follower/following ratio says about you  (the number represents the ratio of your following compared to the number of followers you have – 400 is <0.5x of 1,000, 500-1,000 is 0.5-1x of 1,000, etc.):

  <0.5 Spammer:  You are inexperienced with Instagram automation tools and are spamming followers in hope for follows back.

  0.5-1 Suspicious:  You are likely to be using Instagram automation tools, but are following the wrong people or have poor quality content leading to poor follow back rates.

  1-2 Normal:  You have some success with Instagram automation, but need to focus on other strategies to drive more engagement.

  2-10 Micro-Influencer:  Users that are either master of Instagram automation or has incredible content to grow their account.

  10+ Influencer:  Likely to be micro-celebrities or rising stars that are popular on other social media channels.

 If you’re in the <0.5 Spammer or 0.5-1 Suspicious bracket and you want to add some credibility to your channel, you need to mass unfollow on Instagram.

  Who should you include when performing a mass unfollow on Instagram?   Here’s a composition of followers that may necessitate  you to unfollow everyone on Instagram

   Inactive accounts     Bot/Fake accounts    Those who haven’t followed you back      The conventional way of unfollowing everyone on Instagram     1.   Sign in to Instagram and then press the “Profile” button.      2.   Press the “following” box that displays the number of people you’re following on Instagram.      3.   Press the green “Following” button next to the first person on the list to stop following that person. Make sure the button becomes a blue Follow button.      4.   Repeat the previous step for up to 200 people that Instagram displays in the list.      5.   Sign out of Instagram or continue to use it but don’t follow or unfollow anyone. Wait about an hour and then repeat the previous steps to unfollow another 200 people until you’ve unfollowed everyone on your list.   As obviously noted the above process is tedious and frankly, nerve-wracking, don’t worry we have a simpler method    Apps to unfollow everyone on Instagram   There are many  unfollow app  in the market today that claim to have this functionality including the option to   remove followers on Instagram  , caution, however, should be observed, Instagram has made several upgrades that may result in a ban if you tried unfollowing everyone on Instagram. As a matter of fact, an attempt to unfollow 500 users at a go may plunge you into a blocked or banned account. There is however a   Social Media Automation tool   that has stood the test of time and is frankly unrivaled.   JARVEE   is an intelligent tool that mimics normal human behavior and runs on autopilot. This is to say that, after successfully setting up, you sit back while  JARVEE  does the job for you.

    Go here and download a free trial    of this advanced social media automation tool for free. The trial period is 5 days which is time enough to unfollow everyone on Instagram. (No credit card details required)

  PS: JARVEE also supports   Facebook,   Google+,   Twitter  ,   Pinterest  , Tumblr, LinkedIn, and   Youtube   platforms. 

  Once you’ve registered and installed the tool, use the details sent to your email to log in to the app.  Here you are going to add your Instagram account (s)-depending on the downloaded package you can automate as many Instagram accounts as possible.  To add your account on  JARVEE , click on  SOCIAL PROFILE  on the left Menu bar.  Now click on  ADD PROFILE  and select  INSTAGRAM .  Fill in your Instagram login details and click  VERIFY.   Once your account is  VALIDATED , you can now click on  TOOLS  on the left Menu bar. Here you will see all the accounts that you have added on JARVEE.  To set up auto unfollow, click on the name of the account whose users you want to unfollow.  A new interface will appear with all the features available for Instagram. Since we are only interested in auto unfollowing, you’re going to click on the  UNFOLLOW  tab.  Here you have a myriad of options to go with  At this point, you need to decide whether you want to unfollow everyone or a select group of people.     Manual Way to Unfollow People On Instagram  

 In order to  unfollow everyone on Instagram  manually, follow these steps:

    Tap your profile icon on the Instagram application.  Click on the  “Following ” section and see the list of people who you follow.  Whoever you want to unfollow, click on the “ Following ” section which is written next side of the name of the person.  Confirm your request with Y/N questions.      Unfollow everyone on Instagram   Since Instagram will not allow you to  mass unfollow  instantly, we’re going to spread the unfollowing task over the 5 days trial period. Ideally, you’ll need to allocate the number of users you wish to unfollow proportionately to the 5 days trial period. For instance, if you need to unfollow 500 users, then you’ll have JARVEE unfollow 100 users per day.

 To achieve this, copy the setting as illustrated in the image below when you’re done toggle the status button to start the unfollow operation.

    Unfollow a select group of people   In this section, you’re going to decide on the users you DO NOT intend to unfollow. You’re going to achieve this by placing their user names in a  WHITELIST . You may also wish not to unfollow users that have interacted with your content. This will help keep your engagement going. Just make sure to check the two boxes that say ‘ do not unfollow likers ‘ and ‘ do not unfollow commenters ‘

 Under  USER FILTERS,  there’s an option to use the  WHITELIST . Make sure you have it checked and place the user names of the users you’d like to continue following. Once this is done, you can now toggle the STATUS button to start the process.

  Other apps include, but are not limited to:    #1. Cleaner for Instagram [Android]   This is a multi-function app for Instagram. Using this app you can delete multiple photos at a time, Mass Block & Unblock, Mass Unfollow etc.

 To Mass Unfollow, Follow the steps:

  Step 1:  First  Download & Install : Cleaner for the Instagram app on your Android device.

  Step 2:  Launch this app and login with your Instagram account username and password.

  Step 3:  Tap on ‘Following’ from the bottom bar and go with the ‘Quick Select’ blue button. Here you will many options to select the ‘following’ users. Just Tap on ‘Select All’ to unfollow all at once

  Step 4:  Now Simply Tap on  ‘Flash’  blue floating icon and Tap on the  ‘Unfollow’  option, as shown in the above image.

  Also Read: How To View & Download Instagram Profile Picture [Full Size] 

  #2. Mass Unfollow for Instagram [iOS Devices – iPhone/iPad]   ‘Mass Unfollow for Instagram’ is one of the best tools for iOS Devices to clean up your Instagram account. Using this tool you do the following task:

  Bulk block/unblock/unfollow users  Bulk delete posts  Bulk unlike posts & more…      It’s very simple to use this tool.    First  Download & Install:  Mass Unfollow for Instagram App on your iOS device (iPhone/iPad).  Login in this App with your Instagram Credentials. After that simply  select  the users from  ‘Following’  tab at the bottom bar and  Unfollow  all in a tap.    #3. Unfollow for Instagram – Non-followers & Fans [Android]    ‘Unfollow for Instagram’  is a simple Instagram Manager tool that shows you all the users who don’t follow you back and give you an option to unfollow singe or multiple users in a single tap.

  To  Mass Unfollow , First Download & Install: Unfollower for Instagram App on your Android device. Then Login with Instagram Username and password.  It will scan your Account and tell you Followers/non-followers stats. To unfollow the users who don’t follow you back, tap on  ‘Non-Followers’  Tab.  Now simply tap on  ‘Unfollow’  button from the bottom bar to unfollow all non-followers.    Download Link:  Unfollow for Instagram

  #4. Cleaner for Ins [iOS Devices – iPhone & iPad]   This is another best tool to clean up your Instagram account on your iOS devices. Steps are similar to the above ones. So Download this app from the below-given link and Unfollow Tons of people with a single tap.

  #5. Unfollowers for Instagram – Follow Cop [Android]   Follow Cop is an ultimate and elegant utility tool to manage your Instagram account. It gives you details of your Followers, Non-followers, Recent Followers etc from your account. Also, you can  Mass Unfollow  [upto 15 people in a click] from your Instagram Account.

 Steps are similar to the above ones. Download this app from the link given below and start to Clean up your Instagram account is FREE.

 That’s it.

   Feel free to reach us in the comment section or on email for any assistance. 

  Recommended:   How To Grow Your Business on Twitter in 2019  .

https://socialtipster.co/unfollow-everyone-on-instagram/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=unfollow-everyone-on-instagram

#facebook

[d3-iseefire]

Princess of Shadow Chapter 2

Master Chapter List: https://d3-iseefire.tumblr.com/post/187613581372/princess-of-shadow-master-list

Link To My Other Stories: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ISeeFire/works

Thorin was in a particularly bad mood.

As he'd been irritable since the start of this whole thing, Frerin felt he could be excused for not immediately noticing.

“Problem?” he asked in what he hoped was a mild voice as he dropped onto the bench where Thorin sat aggressively cleaning his weapons. It was a long running joke that the shine of Thorin’s blades were directly tied to his mood. The cleaner they were the fouler his temperament.

Currently, they shone brighter than Frerin had ever seen them.

Thorin’s eyes cut toward his and then, with a violent motion, he yanked a crumpled paper from his inner coat pocket and thrust it out toward Frerin. “A raven arrived this morning with this.”

Frerin took the paper with trepidation. Not all the ravens of Erebor had gone into exile, and what few had weren't all that willing to place themselves in danger. For one to brave a battlefield meant it was news that couldn’t wait.

Frerin steeled himself and spread the paper out on his knee. Whatever it was, he told himself, he’d handle it. Mahal knew he'd handled worse over the last winter. His eyes scanned the words on the page, and a mixture of relief and sadness washed over him. Relief that the news wasn't actually bad, and sadness that it spoke of loss all the same.

“Congratulations." He handed the paper back and Thorin shoved it roughly inside his jacket. He placed his sword across his knees and stared out unseeing into the camp laid out about them.

“I missed the birth of my son.” His voice was hoarse, and his lips twisted with a grimace. “Was it worth it?”

“You know it was.” Frerin rested his hands on his knees and dug his fingers into the worn fabric of his trousers. His eyes went to several dwarves walking past and he could see their clothing was no better than his own. They were a patchwork army, filled with mismatched armor, faded and torn clothing, and inferior weapons. The siege equipment belonged to the elves, the tents to the Men of Dale. “There was no other choice. Even if the cold hadn't forced our hand, your son deserves better. They all do.”

Thorin had hesitated when Gandalf had urged them to retake Erebor, but Jayde hadn't. Frerin could still see his brother's wife, hand resting on her swollen stomach and voice barely wavering as she'd announced that of course Thorin had to go. "Have you told Vili or Kili yet?"

"No." A slight, wry smile pulled at Thorin's lips for a moment. "I'm still trying to decide whether or not to tell Dis about Kili's injury."

Frerin suppressed a shudder. The fight over whether one, or both, of his nephews could come had been legendary. Dis had been adamant against it, while her sons had been just as passionately in favor.

Frerin had been dragged into it entirely against his will. He'd been born late in his parents' lives, long after his siblings, and was only a handful of years older than Fili and Kili. Other than it creating a relationship that was closer to siblings than uncle and nephews, it had never really been something he gave much thought to.

Or at least he hadn't until his sister tried to insist her sons were far too young to go to war. Frerin had no choice but to take their side, since arguing with Dis would have been arguing against himself as well.

He'd have taken their side regardless, not that he was stupid enough to tell his sister that. Fili and Kili were adults, as much as Dis sometimes struggled to see it, and had as much right to fight as anyone else.

In the end, it had been Thorin who'd intervened and managed to reach a compromise. Fili stayed behind to lead Ered Luin while Dis supported Jayde in her final stages of pregnancy. Vili and Kili had gone and Dis had personally threatened the three of them if anything happened to her youngest son.

"I wouldn't mention it," he said now. "You'll write that Kili was grazed by an arrow and she'll decide--"

"That he must have lost an arm and I'm minimizing it," Thorin said with a chuckle. "You're right. We can let Vili tell her when she arrives."

"Perks of her being married," Frerin agreed cheerfully. Thorin's eyes went toward the mountain and Frerin's good mood sobered a bit. "Maybe we should try breaching it," he suggested with hesitation. "There can't be many left capable of putting up much fight."

"None of them were capable of putting up much fight," Thorin said in irritation. "We should have done this years ago." He was silent for a few moments, contemplating, and then finally shook his head. "No, we've lost enough. I won't lose more to impatience. We can wait a little longer."

Frerin clasped his brother on the shoulder. "And that's why you are, and will be, a great king."

Thorin sent him a tight grin and returned to cleaning his weapons. Frerin settled in next to him, rested his hands in his lap, and studied the mountain. It was only a matter of time. Until then, the least he could do was ensure his brother didn't inadvertently start an entirely different war with the elves or men while he was in a poor mood.

***

Bilba sat quietly while Josie worked on her hair. The routine could take an hour or longer and that wasn't adding in the time it took to do her clothes, jewelry and makeup. According to her grandfather, princesses had two purposes. Gaining favor or alliances and looking pretty at court. Another of his possessions he trotted out to show off before sending her away to her room again the way a child might replace a toy on a shelf once they were done with it.

Bilba was always miserable. She had to wear layers worth of underclothing in addition to corsets and stays and whatever her grandfather thought could force her body into the perfect form. Over all that went heavy velvet or silk dresses dripping with pounds of gems that made her feel as if someone were constantly pressing down on her shoulders.

She was grateful for the warmth in winter but in the summer the heat she was forced to endure had caused her to faint more than once. Carrying a small pouch of smelling salts helped, but there was still a widespread belief in the mountain that she suffered from a weak constitution.

“There we go, Your Highness.” Josie stood back and clasped her hands in front of her. “What do you think?”

Bilba forced a weak smile at the other woman. Josie had taken Bilba's hair, which usually fell to her waist in a thick mass of chestnut waves, and painstakingly curled it. She'd then worked it into an elaborate braid that wound along the side of her head, and over her shoulder. The entire length of it was studded with diamonds, emeralds and rubies.

The jewels matched the velvet, emerald gown Josie had already helped her get on. It was practically dripping with jewels and brocade, particularly along the off the shoulder neckline. The edges of the stones irritated her skin and she was forever fighting the urge to adjust it in a futile attempt to find some semblance of relief.

She glanced at her reflection in the mirror and hid a frown at the makeup Josie had put on that made her appear years older.

She barely recognized herself.

In the main hall leading to the dining room there were portraits depicting past kings and queens of Erebor. All were dressed in their finery and posed perfectly, the absolute definition of royalty. The paintings were all Bilba really knew about them. She didn't know their personalities or what their hobbies had been. She couldn't say if they'd feared the dark or if they would sometimes sneak to the kitchens to get a snack in the middle of the night. They were simply royals, flat images on canvas with the person behind the title long lost to history.

It was how Bilba often thought of herself after Josie got done with her. She was a princess, a living portrait walking about the palace. She doubted anyone could name her favorite color if asked, or state what her opinions were on living in the mountain, or even what made her laugh.

Sometimes, Bilba was afraid she didn't know the answers to those questions herself.

"It looks wonderful, Josie," she said quietly. She kept her voice soft and modulated, devoid of anything resembling a personality. Proper according to her grandfather.

She turned to leave, slow and graceful so that the earrings dangling from her ears barely twitched where the tips brushed her shoulders.

Josie rushed ahead of her to open the door and Bilba put her shoulders back, straightened, and raised her chin. Her stomach twisted and she resisted the urge to wring her hands together with nerves.

Josie gasped suddenly and clapped her hands to her mouth. "Oh, my gosh, I forgot your tiara!"

Bilba's eyes widened fractionally. She had several tiaras, and quite a few circlets, all of which were quite heavy and very uncomfortable. They also needed to be woven into her hair, usually near the beginning of the process, not the end and certainly not after.

"That's quite all right, Josie," she said, trying to hide the sense of panic at having to undergo the process all over again. "I'm sure grandfather won't mind."

He most certainly would mind, but Bilba was hoping he'd be too preoccupied with the ongoing siege to notice.

Josie frowned. "I don't know. I could probably do it quick."

Bilba had no desire to sit in that chair again for any length of time so she simply smiled and started toward the door. "I'd be late. You know how my grandfather feels about me being late."

Josie grimaced. "True." She pulled the door open with flourish and grinned. "Have a good day, Your Highness."

"Thank you, Josie." Bilba let out a slow breath, arranged her hands in front of her waist and glided out of the room.

Well, glided as much as one could glide when one could not, in fact, float and had to rely on their feet. The action required a surprising amount of control in her legs and usually left them stiff and cramping.

The corridor outside her room was cold, and shadowed. The dwarves had been careful in their design of the mountain, placing the living areas in locations that allowed windows and balconies to let in natural light. For the rest of the mountain they had cut shafts fitted with perfectly cut and polished stones capable of refracting light in a multitude of directions.

Together, in what must have been a masterful feat of engineering and design, they provided light and fresh air to nearly every part of the mountain save the mines where lanterns and other methods had been used.

It was one of the many things the hobbits had taken for granted. Over the years many of the shafts had become blocked or occluded. No one know exactly how to clear the shafts, or replace damaged or missing stones, which had left large sections of the mountain shadowed or in near total darkness.

Bilba had never entirely understood the dwarven resistance to helping keep the mountain in repair, or why they'd left in the first place. Certainly, having a hobbit in charge rather than a dwarf must have been rankling to some, but surely it had been better than what they'd had before?

By all accounts Durin had been a brute and his son little better. Were the dwarves just so xenophobic that they couldn't stand the thought of a non-dwarf on the throne no matter that it was a significant improvement? Every one of them had left and, since then, not a single dwarf had willingly set foot in Erebor even when offered significant amounts of money for needed repairs.

A noble and his wife rounded the corner toward her and Bilba gave a slow nod of the head in greeting. They returned it but, just as they passed, she saw both their faces twist in derision. Her stomach twisted inside her and she clasped her hands together until the knuckles shone white.

She didn't know what she was doing wrong. Usually when she passed she'd get vague nods or greetings but, since the war had started and especially since the siege, she was increasingly getting snide comments, looks of disgust or outright cuts.

She'd tried harder, sat longer in that stupid chair, allowed Josie even more liberty with her hair and clothing, worked harder on the pleasant smiles and pleasantries her grandfather insisted were proper for a princess. Still the slights continued and, if anything, grew worse.

Nothing she did seemed to matter, and she couldn't even ask because, as her grandfather liked to say, a princess was primarily to be seen, not heard. Unless she were making simple greetings or directly responding to a question posed to her, in as succinct a manner as possible, she was to remain quiet.

The only times she'd ever broken that rule had been with Sigrid, who insisted it was idiotic, and, to a lesser amount, Legolas. She'd trusted them and look where that had led. Perhaps, had she kept her mouth shut as her grandfather had taught her to do they wouldn't have betrayed her. At the very least she wouldn't have the sick feeling in her stomach as she recalled the times she'd opened up to them. All the things she'd said, and all only to now realize how they must have been silently mocking her the entire time.

The doors to the dining room loomed ahead and Bilba's spirits flagged further. Her grandfather's favorite pastime during meals was to watch her and criticize her every movement. From the way she held her spoon to questioning her weight, nothing was off limits to him and it was all generally done in front of whatever councilmembers or lords he'd invited to dine that day.

He'd begun to ignore her somewhat since the Durins had arrived, but she still faced each meal with trepidation that this time would be when he took notice of her again and started up the endless critique. There had been several times she'd been driven close to tears. Sometimes she had the suspicion that was what her grandfather wanted, a game he was playing or a test of some kind.

The guards in front of the door leaned over in concert, grabbed the handles and pulled them open. Bilba took a deep breath, tried to center herself and then swept into the room exactly as she'd been taught to do.

It took her all of ten seconds to realize the room was empty.

Her footsteps stumbled to a stop and her eyes widened. Usually, when she walked into the dining room it'd be to the sight of the massive table near to groaning under the weight of food piled upon it. Servers would be darting about filling the plates and goblets of her grandfather and councilors, and the delicious smells from the multitude of dishes would have her stomach growling in a most un-princess like way.

Today, there was nothing. No sign of her grandfather, or any councilors, no food set out on the table, not even the musicians her grandfather insisted on having in the back corner to play serene melodies while he discussed politics.

Bilba turned toward the doors, but the guards had shut them behind her, leaving her alone in a giant, cavernous room. She'd never realized just how cavernous until this very minute when she was in it alone with nothing but her own silence for company.

She knew she wasn't late. Had something come up? There'd been no sign of panic or rush in those she'd passed in the corridors, and no one had come to her room to alert her to anything.

A shiver ran over her and, since there was no one to see, she crossed her arms over her chest and began to chew nervously on her lower lip.

Her eyes went back to the table again and, this time, lit upon the fact that it wasn't quite as empty as she'd first thought. There was a piece of paper, folded in two, sitting on a small tray at her customary spot. She hadn't immediately noticed it as her eyes had gone naturally to where her grandfather and his councilors usually sat, and not to her seat at the far end of the table.

Bilba tried to swallow down a suddenly dry throat. Dread settled over her and she could feel her body growing tense. Digging her fingers into her arms, she forced herself to take a step, and then another one and another. It seemed to take ages to get there and, once she had, she regretted it not taking longer still.

She picked up the letter with the tips of two, shaking fingers and, before she could talk herself out of it, opened it in a quick motion.

The first few words had her breath freezing in her lungs, while the rest caused her to sink into a chair as her legs buckled beneath her.

On the page the words seemed to burn into her eyes, and she swore she could almost hear her grandfather’s voice.

The mountain is lost.

You will delay the fall as long as possible to allow Erebor's court to retreat to a safe harbor. You will keep your silence on the manner of our escape so that we may use it in the future when we return to take back what is ours.

You will not fail me.

Bilba read them again, and again after that. She closed her eyes, opened them again, and pinched herself, doing everything and anything in her power to wake up, or to somehow, someway make the words change. Go away. Be something different than what they were.

But no matter how hard she tried to convince herself she was asleep, or how much she wished for things to change, the truth remained stubborn and unyielding.

Her grandfather was gone, and with him most, if not all the council.

Her grandfather had just effectively declared her Queen, which meant the only thing standing between the wolves gathered at Erebor’s gates and those hiding within...was her.

[thebookmen2]

AO3 BNHA fanfiction Master Post

(Not really in a certain order, I like them all) (most pictures were made for the fic while others I found on the internet that I thought best suited it) Alternate quirk Izuku::: Title: Yesterday upon the stair by PitViperOfDoom Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8337607/chapters/19098982 Summary: Midoriya Izuku has always been written off as weird. As if it's not bad enough to be the quirkless weakling, he has to be the weirdquirkless weakling on top of it. But truthfully, the "weird" part is the only part that's accurate. He's determined not to be a weakling, and in spite of what it says on paper, he's not actually quirkless. Even before meeting All-Might and taking on the power of One For All, Izuku isn't quirkless. Not that anyone would believe it if he told them. Notes: BEST BNHA FAN FICTION EVER CREATED! I see dead people Midoriya, Rei!!!!! One of the best fictions that capture all of the BNHA personalities with a stunning plot that is original enough to not be OC but not copying the manga/anime for it to be just a recount of BNHA, infinity/10

Title: UA unsolved by Kabukichou (ameliafromafairytale) Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13253055 Summary: "Hey there, ghosts," Midoriya says, "it's me, ya boy." The dorms are haunted. Shenanigans ensue. Notes: so many memes XD, good funny read after u read yesterday upon the stair 

Title: Daymare by IntrospectiveInquisitor Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11277075/chapters/25222215 Summary: Izuku Midoriya has endured a decade of abuse, ridicule, and social ostracization due to his status as 'Quirkless'. Even his childhood friend, Katsuki Bakugou, has tossed him aside and made it a mission to drill his uselessness home. But despite his obstacles and the derision of his peers, Izuku will never give up on his dream of being a hero, and will never feel shame for being called Quirkless. Because it's easier than acknowledging that he has a Quirk at all. Notes: HOHOHOHO! If u like Kacchan pissing his pants this is for u, Starburst! Colourful Izuku, super anxiety, protection squad

Title: Dis(associate) by BeyondTheClouds777 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13853580/chapters/31865358 Summary: Izuku has a “dissociation” Quirk that lets his ghost leave his body, and it’s both convenient and inconvenient at the same time. Either way, though, he's going to do whatever it takes to become a hero. Notes: Ghost!Izuku AU, SUPER punny~! Cat bells

Title: know what i've made by the marks on my hands by Simkjrs Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11356197/chapters/25417506 Summary: Midoriya Izuku just wants to lead a quiet, peaceful life. This is foiled by the fact that a) he can see spirits, b) his good nature demands that he help anyone he sees in trouble, and c) he, by all rights, should not exist. Helping the heroes who have fallen victim to the new quirk-breaking drug is a terrible idea for many reasons, the first and most important being that he hates attention and avoids it like the plague. But he's the only one who can help, so he does. This is, Izuku decides as he breaks in, more trouble than it's worth. Notes: just leave the child alone, badass Izuku, super freaking good, good hearted Izuku wanting to not give a shit. Accidentally keeps giving a shit.

Title: but you gotta get up at least once more by Simkjrs Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7392847/chapters/16792135 Summary: Midoriya Izuku does not let his lack of a Quirk prevent him from being strong. Also known as that one AU where Izuku follows the ridiculous training regimen of Saitama from One Punch Man and becomes stronger than anyone ever imagined he could be. Notes: ONE PUUUUUUUUNCH! A great take on Izuku has no quirk AU, engaging read, Izuku and Kacchan relationship tho so toxic is beautiful, great art too! Happy Shinsou!!!!! Everyone: Mitoki no! Mitoki: Mitoki yes! 

Title: I Summoned a Demon 101: an In-comprehensive guide to Corporeal Demon Do's and Don'ts by EAter Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11362569/chapters/25434867 Summary: Midoriya Izuku was born with a quirk: the ability to summon and bind demons from an alternate plane to do his bidding. With only a few days left until the UA entrance exam and still no offensive-type demons in his arsenal, Izuku makes a desperate attempt at summoning one corporeal, a feat he had never before attempted. He'd say it was a success but, he doesn't actually know if it'll be more a help or a hindrance. Especially since Bakugou Katsuki is, well, kind of a shit. Notes: not gonna lie, this is dirty. But I love this fic nevertheless because of Izukus quirk it's amazing, best OC's that don't seem like OC's I summoned a demon fan art: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11777418/chapters/26554554

Title: I exist, in you by Acchidocchi Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7426390/chapters/16867999 Summary: "Having a quirk like this, it's worse than not having one at all," the doctor says, handing some papers over to Inko, whose worried expression has not once wavered. "You'll have to keep a close eye on him to prevent him from hurting himself." Izuku tunes the doctor out. With a quirk like this, he is capable of helping people. And in that moment-- regardless of whatever Inko or the doctor says-- that's all that matters to him. (Or rather, a universe in which young Midoriya Izuku is born with the rare soul bond quirk; allowing him to heal others by transferring their pain to himself). Notes: the feels train is here, Shinsou and Izuku relationship makes me wanna die it's so beautiful, healing quirk Izuku is bootyful, based on Kiznaiver!

Title: Desperate Measures by GlowingArrowsinTheSky and SpiritusRex Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8061265/chapters/18470281 Summary: AU in which Izuku stays quirkless and finds his own way of becoming a hero ; ) Notes: general studies Izuku, the protect squad is strong in this one, vigilante!izuku, Mei makes his gear, ‘The Vigilante’, izuku/todoroki, protection squad hunts Izuku hahaha, Izuku accidentally changes the world lol

Title: Erased Potential by theslytherinpaladin Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11088315/chapters/24735288 Summary: Midoriya Izuku, determined to become a hero before ever meeting All Might, looks for another way. He might not have a quirk, but that can’t be all that being a hero is about. He has the intelligence, the drive, the determination. All he needs now is to know how to use it. Enter Aizawa Shouta. Notes: If Aizawa got to Izuku before All Might (cough well technically Izuku got to Aizawa cough), Daddy Aizawa, Robin Izuku lol, comic books are involved

Title: Death Warmed Over by Kazzarole Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12398358/chapters/28210815 Summary: When Izuku dies, it's with a lot less grace than he always imagined it'd be. But even when he gives up the ghost, there's still things that need to be said--and, luckily, he gets a second chance. (A fic written for PitViperOfDoom's "Yesterday Upon The Stair".) Notes: an unofficial "if Izuku from yesterday upon a stair died", plus Izuku/todoroki is good shit

In BNHA Universe AU's:: Title: Send Endeavor to the Shadow Realm series by PitViperOfDoom Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/584566 Summary: Todoroki Enji is the worst and Midoriya finds ways to let people know it Notes: JUST THIS WHOLE THING IS AMAZING!! Just some pure Izuku/Todoroki with a shit tone of roasting worst dad in existence 100/10 would recommend all of it

Title: The Laundry room by Dellsey Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11567502 Summary: Aizawa is visibly unhappy. “You didn’t know there was a laundry room in the basement? How did you manage before, then?” Everyone starts talking at the same time, and as Aizawa picks up what is said, he starts feeling a very diverse array of emotions, the most intense one being frustration, because, for God’s sake, these are supposed to be the students of the best high school in the country and they couldn’t figure out there were washing machines in the dorm building, but also exasperation when he hears ‘dry cleaner’ (too much money) and ‘mom’ (spoiled, spoiled children), and absolute dread when he hears someone say ‘you’re supposed to wash clothes that often?!’. He sighs. Sometimes, he forgets they’re just kids. Notes: just some good hearted class 1A dorm fluff  

Title: Reverie by AuspiciousWhiskers Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7038916/chapters/16009183 Summary: Shinsou Hitoshi finds a cure for his insomnia in a very unexpected place. Notes: just the best Shinsou/izuku fic tbh, sleepy BOI needs his sleep, Izuku is best boy

Title: Fog lifting by PitViperOfDoom Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12876822 Summary: Izuku doesn't want to be here anymore. He doesn't regret the decisions that led to him ending up here, but he would like to leave now, please. Notes: hooooooly shit I cried, if you like seeing Izuku being hurt u read this, let this boy go home  

Title: That Time Izuku was in a Shitty Mood part of the "that time" series by CaridwenAngetueur1 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11889639 Summary: To say that Izuku had woken up on the wrong side of the bed was an understatement. In fact, Izuku was willing to physically fight anybody who summed it up that simply. No, Midoriya Izuku was in the shittiest of moods and you don't want to fuck with him when he's angry. Notes: Super freakin funny, best reactions to moody Izuku ever, don't fuck with izukus sleep guys

Title: diaper days by Sweet_lives Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8532163/chapters/19559131

Summary: Deku crosses paths with a Villain who has the power to change ages, and leaves Izuku a toddler! Although this unexpected predicament holds many problems, the biggest issue at UA is who'll get to take care of him! Notes: just some wholesome baby Deku being looked after by class 1A 

Title: Be Enough by PitViperOfDoom Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10531698

Summary: Midoriya cracks under the weight of things that may be outside of his control. Bakugou addresses the problem by throwing Todoroki at it. Notes: just some Izuku/todoroki fluff TBH, just throw Todoroki at it and everything will be ok, one chapter fic

Title: Drink my thoughts by Celestialfics Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10643583

Summary: [02:13 AM] todoroki: Are you awake? Notes: just a little bit of depression combined with Izuku/Todoroki 

Title: Make the Most by Eloarei Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12185904/chapters/27665082

Summary: People always said he'd never get into UA without a quirk, but he did his best and he succeeded. And people always said he was never going to meet All Might, but there he was, knocked on the floor of a busy supermarket. It didn't look like him, and maybe that was why people weren't clamoring for autographs, but Izuku recognized those eyes when he saw them. He really had to stop listening to other people. Notes: my first All Might/Izuku fic and it's good shit, quirkiness Izuku, Izuku protection squad  adult Izuku

Fantasy AU:: Title: In the Eye of the Storm by CheshireButton Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11910153/chapters/26911119

Summary: Izuku Midoriya is a scientific prodigy seeking a cure for a rapidly spreading neurodegenerative disease. A potential clue in his research points to a fabled island, guarded by an eternal storm from which no travelers have ever returned. He navigates through the hurricane and discovers an island that is anything but uninhabited. He must adapt to survive against the natives who place intruders in three categories: warriors, mates, or meat. Notes: maaaan I really love this fic!! Warning is a little dirty but not focused on that focused on the OMG best plot and characters, best Kacchan

Title: prince & prince by Authoress Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6565564/chapters/15022348

Summary: Note to self: don't accidentally fall in love with a prince who's in an arranged marriage keeping your kingdoms from declaring war against each other. Especially when you're spying on him as his manservant. Notes: SO GOOD, izuku/todoroki, best man servant Izuku

Title: Remember Me by Blue_Writer Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12603072/chapters/28707684

Summary: It had been years since Bakugou was exiled from his home and became the savage dragon king, but one good thing finally came to his life when he met Izuku again. The only issue, is that he doesn't remember him. Notes: Izuku/Kacchan, you want Kacchan being cute? This is ur fic, dragon boy AU, Izuku wants to be a knight 

Title: break your bones but not your promises by PitViperOfDoom Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12738864/chapters/29051784

Summary: Tales of a world of magic and mundane, of heroes, villains, and everything in between-- of promises kept, bonds forged, and monsters both battled and befriended. Notes: it's a good read, lots of Fae law, baby Izuku and Shino are highlights of my life 

Villain Izuku AU:: Title: the distinction between hope and expectation by Kattenprinsen and Ramabear (RyMagnatar) Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6963121/chapters/15874927 Summary: Five years ago, Bakugou's favorite nerdy victim vanished off the face of earth. Even if that was the proper thing for a quirkless, useless kid to do, he never quite forgot those bright green eyes staring resolutely up at him even in the face of Bakugou's violence and explosive quirk. The last thing he expects is to find the boy again in his final year at Yuuei- not just that, but to have him hauled into the middle of a fight by a group of bizarro villains out to smash All Might to bits (or something). Admittedly, it's hard to pay attention to a madman's stupid raving when your childhood friend (not dead. not missing anymore. still useless. still so pathetic. utterly helpless.) stares up at you with eyes that are begging for help. Yuuei hasn't taken his rage or his vulgarity away from him, but it has given him something. Bakugou is a hero. And heroes? They save even the useless ones and save Deku he will. He doesn't have a single plan beyond that moment, doesn't need one. Besides, when it comes right down to it, Deku has all the plans that any of them need. Notes: summary sums it up lol, best mastermind Izuku ever!! Multi-quirk Izuku, kinda nearly turns his whole class into villains? Well...shows them the way  a really good read, Izuku/Shinsou (nose bleed CUTE AF)

Title: The Switch by Rhyllow Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12375993/chapters/28152045 Summary: Just when Todoroki finally realizes his feelings for Midoriya, his world is turned upside down. On a mission, Midoriya was hit with a quirk that turned him into a villain. Brimming with evil, blood lust, and greedy desire, Midoriya has become unrecognizable to his friends. Blaming himself for Midoriya's suffering, Todoroki makes it his mission to restore his love back to his regular self- knowing full well that there may be no hope left. Notes: oh boy, villain Izuku to the max , Izuku is unstoppable BOI

Title: No hero yet no villain by OldSauk411 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10868088/chapters/24141750

Summary: Midoriya Izuku had grown up bullied because he didn't have a quirk. Handled with kid's gloves because he also lacked a soulmate. Told he could never be a hero by the person he look up to the most. Filled with rage at everyone that had ever doubted him, he left to become something they wouldn't see coming, to get back at every single one of them for doubting him. He left to become a villain. Notes: got some Izuku and Shiguraki friendship, multi-quirk Izuku, soulmate AU bros, Izuku/todoroki

Soulmate AU:: Title: Burn and Breathe by PitViperOfDoom Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11066478

Summary: Soulmates are connected through pain, and some bonds have more to share than others. Todoroki Shouto wishes he could reject his soulmate. Midoriya wants nothing more than to protect his own. Notes: sweet angsty little read, super powerful "don't you touch him" from Izuku

Omegaverse AU:: Title: we're young and wild and stupid by Dandolion_weed Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12614520

Summary: Omegas who haven't presented deal with their premature heat in different ways. Midoriya Izuku bakes for people he loves. Notes: I'm weak for cute Izuku fics, not dirty just super fluffy

[stimtoybox]

what do we do if we're in a country where it's illegal to sell borax, in any shape or form ? (it's not present in eye solutions, those are just saline water) ?

When it comes to traditional slime, anon, you’re stuck. I wish I had a solution for you, but I don’t. Slime is made with the reaction between PVA (either glue or peel-off face masks) and either sodium borate/borax or boric acid, so it’s difficult to make a good, stretchy slime without both of these things. There really isn’t anything else that you can swap in.

(Certain glues will activate from some brands of shaving cream alone, but you need so much shaving cream to such a small amount of glue. I’ve never had any locally-available glue be able to activate with locally-available shaving cream this way; I cannot advise on which glue and shaving cream combinations will work.)

I don’t understand the reaction to borax or why it is so inaccessible in certain countries. Boric acid is the more dangerous chemical, diluted in laundry detergents, floor cleaners, contact lens solution, liquid starches and other similar products. Oddly enough, those activators are often billed as “borax-free” by slime makers hence and “safer” than sodium borate solutions, but the MSDS for sodium borate/borax gives it the same hazard rating as table salt. Obviously, you don’t want to eat it, but it’s no more dangerous to handle than baking soda. We handle more dangerous chemicals in cleaning products all the time, so this fear of borax baffles me.

(This old post of mine talks about slime safety, data sheets, the PVA-and-borate-ion reaction and other bits about slime-making, with links to more resources.)

In my opinion, making slime from PVA glue, water and dissolved sodium borate is safer than using PVA glue and laundry detergent, liquid starch, lens solution or floor cleaner for slime, because you don’t have any additional detergents, dyes, fragrances or chemicals added to the slime–and most of these cleaning products are not designed for prolonged skin contact. Yes, you don’t use a lot of these activators to make slime, but I’ll choose the method that is cheaper and limits the additional chemicals in my slime, giving me more control over what it contains.

This, of course, isn’t helpful if you can’t access borax!

I have a special interest in slime, anon, and based on the many videos I’ve watched, while there are various tutorials for slimes made from dishwashing liquid, shampoo, toothpaste, glue-stick glue, packing peanuts and acetone, nail polish, water and hand soap, none of them work that well, and even the ones that kind of work require very specific brands–and, I suspect, a little YouTube trickery. Even when they’re not faked, they seem to be talked up on camera more than they actually work in the presenters’ hands, in terms of making a nice, clean, stretchable borax-comparable slime. Many presenters seem to think “gooey” is good enough, but from a stimming perspective, I cannot recommend a good non-PVA-and-borax alternative. I’ve tried a few myself with no success, and others haven’t performed well enough on camera for me to even bother experimenting.

(Please don’t make the packing peanuts and acetone slime, followers! Acetone–and this slime requires pure acetone–is far more dangerous to you than borax.)

You might like to try, anon, some of the edible slime recipes using psyllium powder, but they’re a little more oozy than stretchy, and they don’t keep as well as glue-based slime. I’ve also got several video tutorials under the #edible slime tag, but many are only good for one-time or short-term usage, making them less suitable for stimmers.

In all honesty, if you can’t get any borax/boric-acid containing products, I wouldn’t bother with trying to make your own slime. I’d buy it online, endure storebought slime or, if you want to DIY something yourself, look at making doughs for stimming. I’ve featured plenty of handmade playdough recipes on this blog, and a no-cook stimming dough is easily made by combining dishwashing liquid/conditioner/hand soap/lotion (any of those) with cornflour/cornstarch. It won’t keep forever, but it’s easy to make and replace every couple of weeks, and you can use basic supermarket ingredients.

(Put cornstarch in a bowl, slowly knead in soap/conditioner/lotion until you have a dough-like consistency that isn’t too crumbly, store in an airtight container.)

For doughs, check out the previous DIY master posts: one ⁕ two ⁕ three ⁕ four. I’ve got at least a couple of dough or putty tutorials on every page, using a variety of ingredients and cooking processes, so there should be at least one that works for you.

I know dough doesn’t have the texture and stretch of handmade glue-and-borax slime, but I am aware of nothing that replaces the borax/boric acid. For a DIY toy with the same add-scent-and-glitter potential for stimmers, it’s as close as I think you can get.

[terrible-tentacle-theatre]

The Bestiary: Cleaner Mimic

Disclaimer: While this article is founded in scientific fact, it contains hyberbole and conscious exaggerations for the sake of comedy. Do not take my ramblings at face value. You can find the sources at the end of the article and tools for scientific fact-checking under the “Learn more” link on my blog.

This, is a coral reef.

My god.

The average coral reef, contrary to most popular belief, is a damn deadly place. It’s akin to one of those kung-fu movies that feature a beautiful, classy lady clad in a traditional qipao who inevitably turns out to be the one person in the entire movie that you should definitely not have fucked with. Bladed fans are not pleasant, people.

Coral reefs are like that lady. Silk hiding steel. The steel magnolia. And several other allegories involving steel and other metallurgy products.

Don’t let the pretty coral structures fool you is basically what I’m saying here. The same laws of nature apply in the prettiest blue oceans as the ugliest swamps, because Mother Nature, creative as she may be, has no sense of human aesthetics. The most colorful ones are usually also those who will slit your throat and snatch your purse the quickest.

Take the giant moray (Gymnothorax javanicus) for example. Long and pretty colored it may be, it’s still a suicidally dumb idea to approach it without proper precautions. Its body can reach up to three goddamn meters, and it has a second set of jaws inside its mouth to pull you into its maw with.

…

…No.

No, I’m not going to make another Alien reference. It’s too easy. Fuck off.

And if you think „oh it’s easy, just stay away from the cave”, it has another unpleasant surprise in stock for you: it’s got buddies. Buddies such as the roving coralgrouper (Plectropomus pessuliferus), a fuckoff huge predatory grouper that will very gladly team up with the moray to hunt your ass down if you’re sufficiently tasty-looking and sufficiently a fish. The grouper sweeps through the open water for prey while the moray mops out gaps and crevices, ensuring that you have nowhere to run. Symbiosis is a wonderful thing.

It’s like Touhou, except instead of a bunch of tiny bullets you’re expected to dodge two huge fuckin fish, and you don’t get a single Fantasy Seal. ZUN is taking notes somewhere.

I think I got my point across. Coral reefs are no laughing matter, beautiful as they may be. It’s the same fish-eat-fish world out there as in all other waters.

While our specific example here (the moray and the grouper) inhabits the pretty murderlands of the Red Sea, the same rule of thumb applies anywhere else too, such as in warm waters of the the Indo-Pacific region. This is where today’s review subjects spends its little existence of piracy and treachery on the sea.

Close your eyes for a moment and picture that you’re a humble, ordinary cleanerfish (Labroides dimidiatus).

You eke out a respectable living on the coral reefs of the Indo-Pacific in the business of (surprise, surprise) cleaning. You avoid getting your day ruined by some big mean mother fucker with teeth the size of your whole body by offering to clean the filth, dirt and the gore of your devoured fellows off of said mother fucker’s body. It’s a good business and you’re basically under a protectorate from the entire reef: nobody will eat the best guy who keeps their scales clean.

Life is all good.

Until one day your customers show up at your door with torches and pitchforks, calling for your blood, that is.

So what the hell happened, you ask? Until yesterday you were a widely popular small local business, and now everyone is calling you a cheater who exploits their trust for your own gain.

What happened is this guy.

Yo.

Grip something sturdy: no, this isn’t another picture of the same fish. Clearly some JoJo-tier bullshit is going on here.

What you just touched… was your own future self!

Meet the cleaner mimic (Aspidontus taeniatus), also known as the false cleanerfish. While not a mimic in the classic chompy treasure chest monster sense, it’s every bit as sneaky and assholish. You might think it’s just another cleanerfish, but it’s actually a clever master of some goddamn clever cloak-and-dagger disguise bullshit.

Taking on the appearance of the cleanerfish and imitating its signature “business is open” dance (spreading its fins and waving its tail up and down), the mimic now enjoys the same protectorate, since nobody would eat the dude who gives everyone regular massages and scrubdowns. It could probably live its entire life comfortably, enjoying its undeserved safety, if not for the fact that it ruins its own chances at this through an acute case of chronic backstabbing disorder.

See, it’s like this: The mimic sets up shop on some coral reef, preferably close to a cleanerfish station. This is because it needs a location which fish regularly visit for cleaning off their filthy, filthy scales. Then, this diminutive conman sets its plan into action.

The plan is simple:

Look like cleanerfish.

Act like cleanerfish.

Wait until unsuspecting “clients” show up at your place for a good cleaning.

Bite a chunk out of their fins and RUN.

HAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKING SUCKERS

Instead of a scrubbing, all the poor clients got was becoming scrubs themselves.

So you can probably see why the poor cleanerfish’s reputation thus goes downhill. Afterall, the only way to distinguish your friendly neighborhood cleaner-man from the asshole who steals your organs is by the position of their mouths, which is not what you’re normally looking at when you enter a massage salon.

The cleanerfish has its mouth on the end of its head like this:

Meanwhile, the mimic has its mouth a little underslung its head like so:

Just look at this smug little shithead. Even his face is perpetually locked in a haughty grin. If the ocean was an imageboard, the cleaner mimic would be all the smug anime girl reaction images.

That's it. That's literally it. Other than this one tiny detail on a fish that's already tiny as shit, the two are virtually indistinguishable. If it wasn't already a false cleanerfish, this guy would be a catfish instead.

So long story short, everyone on the coral reef is getting catfished big time by this guy and they take all his dirty little tricks hook line and sinker. This, of course, develops into full on drama. Blogs are deleted. Callout posts are written. Receipts are collected. And the poor bastard at the center of it all is the falsely-accused cleanerfish.

BATESIAN MIMICS DON’T INTERACT

If the local fish are sufficiently dumb, the cleaner mimic can fuck with a reef community for its entire life. Surprisingly enough, however, most local fish are not sufficiently dumb. Regular clients of the cleanerfish will learn to distinguish it from the mimic if they fall for the Nigerian prince scam enough times, and reportedly give the duplicitous little fucker a chase, forcing it to abandon its usual diet of nipped-off fins and skin for a relatively more vegetarian regimen of tube worms and fish eggs. And all because it couldn’t keep its teeth off of the locals. Good job, false cleanerfish. Good job.

And you know the worst part about this entire bullshit? If you’re a fish, and you roll up to a cleaner station to get your act tidied up, and the local cleanerfish starts working on your scales, you still can’t be sure it’s not a cleaner mimic. Because, see, the mimic only attacks its cleaning clients in about 20% of encounters. Now your weekly bathtime comes with a side order of Russian roulette. I hope you’ll have a fun time.

Of course, there is one way to know if your masseuse is in fact a mimic: if it opens its mouth and it looks like this, bail the fuck out of there. No amount of personal hygiene is worth that shit.

Sources

Encyclopedia of Life (EoL)

Ocean Biogeography Information System (OBIS)

FishBase

World Register of Marine Species (WoRMS)

National Geographic

Vail, Manica & Bshary. 2013. Referential gestures in fish collaborative hunting. Nature Communications.