#DIRGE FOR IMMIGRANTS

[ptts2023]

TM GAME TOURNAMENT MAGAZINE ANNOUNCEMENT 14 PART 03

Written By: Neng Hong Lam Date Written: June 02, 2025

Table of Contents: Book 1 Book 2 Introduction Chapter 01: 1992-1994 Chapter 02: 1992-1994 Chapter 03: 1993-1995 Step By Step Long Journey To Acceptance And Forgiveness Part 30 Chapter 04 [1.] Dirge For the Immigrants A. Achieving the San Diego Family Life B. Effective Transition To Education Step By Step Long Journey To Acceptance And Forgiveness Part 31 Chapter 04 Continue [Important Note 12 (Yearbook)] B. Effective Transition To Education (Continue) Step By Step Long Journey To Acceptance And Forgiveness Part 32 [Important Note 13 (Want A Chance To Explain)] Step By Step Long Journey To Acceptance And Forgiveness Part 33 Chapter 04 Continue Important Note 14 A. Movies & TV Series B. I'm Still At the Beginning of My Healing Process C. Trapping Myself Argument [2.] Relieving the Peer Pressures

Important Note 14

I'm Still At the Beginning of My Healing Process

In the later on chapters, I will write about this period of time, 1998-2006. Right now, I'm going to briefly go over the movies and TV Series I watch during this period of time.

I'm going to list the movies that are in my movie DVD collection during my middle school, high school, and college years. Like I wrote above, it is around 1998-2006. Because it is in my collection, so I get to watch them whenever I want to. This mean like the critic's acclaim, "Emotional Satisfaction". I would watch them depending on my mood. Also, I'm going to break those movies into different categories.

I think the following movies have family theme and humble human touch. Also, one of the movies have the critic's acclaim, "Emotional Satisfaction."

"Together" (2002) (Chinese Cinema), Directed By: Chen Kaige "Beijing Bicycle" (Chinese Cinema) "Harry Potter" movie series "The Road Home" (Chinese Cinema)

I think the following movies have heavier theme than those movie listed above. Also, the following movies could categorized as Action movies.

"Battle Royale" (Japanese Cinema) "Night Warriors: Darkstalkeers' Revenge" (Animated Movie) "Street Fighter 2: The Animated Movie" "Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children" (Animated Movie) "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" (Chinese Cinema) "House of the Flying Daggers" (Chinese Cinema) "Underworld" "Princess Mononoke" (Animated Movie) "Resident Evil" Movie Series

I think the following movies are philosophical. Also, there are depth to those movies.

"The Place Promised In Our Early Days" (Animated Movie) "The Promise" (Chinese Cinema), Directed By Chen Kaige "Lord of the Rings" Trilogy "A Love Song For Bobby Long"

At that point of time, because the following movies are foreign films, so I think those movies are fan pick, fan of animation, and/or critic acclaim's animation. Exception is "Spirited Away" have a huge success imported to the USA.

"Spirited Away" "Only Yesterday" (1991) "Ocean Waves" "Whisper of the Heart"

I watched the following TV Series on TV program:

"Pokemon" Animated TV Series Yu-Gi-Oh" Animated TV Series "Hercules: The Legendary Journey" TV Series "Gundam WIng" Animated TV Series "Dragon Ball Z" Animated TV Series "Cowboy Bebop" Animated TV Series "Rurouni Kenshin" Animated TV Series

I'm not going to write about the Cable TV channels in this Important Note. Including AZN channel (use to called International Channel).

As for the video rental stores, my family occasionally would rent movies at the local video rental stores. (Local also known as USA video rental store.). Because my family most of the time would rent movies and TV Series at the Chinese Video Rental store(s). I will write more on the video rental stores on the later on chapters.

The following are the Chinese TV Series that I watch and I could recall those TV Series without looking it up. Most of the time, me and my family try to watched those Chinese TV Series around the release date (AKA the date it is being aired in TV program). My family would rent those Chinese TV Series in the Chinese Video Rental store. Usually those Chinese TV Series are long TV Series. Long Chinese TV Series are around 60-100 episodes.

"My Fair Princess" Season 01 (1998) (Chinese TV Series) "My Fair Princess" Season 02 (1999) (Chinese TV Series) "Romance In the Rain" (2000) (Chinese TV Series) "The Legend of the Condor Heroes" (Chinese TV Series) (I watched around 2004.)

Beside renting, me and my family also tune in on the long Chinese TV Series that are aired in the TV program from the International channel. (You could get International channel from regular Cable plan.)

In addition, me and my family also tune in on the long Chinese TV Series that are aired in TVB channel from the Chinese Satellite Cable. I didn't have time in my schedule to research about Chinese Satellite Cable. Aunt Sophie would recorded the long Chinese TV Series each weeks in the VHS tapes. Then, she would lend those VHS tapes to my older sister, Bun Hong San. After my family watched those VHS tapes, Bun would return those VHS tapes to Aunt Sophie. Because the borrowing VHS tapes and returning the VHS tapes happen every week, so it is like a regular routine.

Movies that are in my movie DVD collection after 2006. But, close to this period of time.

"Silent Hill" (2006) (I watched "Silent Hill" around the release date. Because I heard it is based on the Konami's video game, "Silent Hill"). In the later on chapters, I will explain why I watched this movie many times. "Better Tomorrow" (Chinese Cinema): The same with "Silent Hill", in the later on chapters, I will explain why I watched this movie many times.

I didn't list the comedy movies that I watched with my family. My reasons is because I'm currently already facing enough problems. Comedy movie might misinterpreted I'm not being serious about the problems in my life.

Right now, it seem like whatever movie I watch have some kind effect on my life. So, I was thinking what if I watch the family theme's movies again. It is not too heavy. "Harry Potter" movie series could be argued as heavy theme. But, at the end of each years, Hogwarts school principal would give out awards to the students who have shown qualities and accomplished tasks. These awards lighten the movies.

I would tells myself because the protagonist, Harry Potter is a wizard that is why he is having a hard time fitting in the world. But, he is famous in the wizard's world.

Since I have watched those family theme movies many times in the past. And, it look like I'm appreciating those movies. In addition, I felt like it is beyond I'm enjoying watching those movies. Because I felt that the magic from those movies have provided me with guidance through the difficulty in my life.

What if I watch those family theme movies again would it give me that same feeling like in the past or would it create problems in my life?

What I want to says is there are days I felt very stress out. And, I want to give myself a break by watching a movie. I don't want it to turn out to be making myself even more stressful.

That is why I wrote this "Important Note". Example: I want to watch a movie and don't have to felt like I'm creating more stress to myself.

I'm Still At the Beginning of My Healing Process

It is a trap to talk about the following:

[Trapping Myself Argument 01 Begin]

I have inferior background led to a situation of I have to beat overwheming odds. And, I have to face a lot of pressures. Dealing with my situation led to destructive self- criticisms. The destructive self-criticisms led to the following:

"Tale as old as time. Song as old as rhyme. Beauty and the Beast." From the song, "Beauty and the Beast". Nothing ever change Scenarios. I Told You So Scenarios. And, so on.

Beauty and the Beast, Disney Fairy Tales, Nothing Ever Change, I Told You So, refined education through high education study, get rich or die trying, struggle for power, fame, and global domination, battle for survival, battle for the title as the strongest person in the world, and so on. Mean people already know about those things. There is nothing new about those things. There are no originality about those things.

[Trapping Myself Argument 01 End]

That is why I keep saying it is a trap to talk about I have to kill myself.

Because I'm hurting myself and degenerating myself explaining about the problems in my life and the arguments against me. So, instead of trapping myself (or killing myself). I called tormenting thoughts.

In Book 1 Introduction Part 01-09, Chapter 1, and "Emergency" section in Chapter 2. And, Book 2 Introduction. I wrote about the problems in my life and the arguments against me. Including my situation. In each "Important Note", I would continue explaining about my situation. There are 14 "Important Note" so far including this one.

What if those 20 pages and 14 "Important Note" is not enough to explain about my situation? I miss out on something. That one thing I miss out create a chain effect in my life and it destroy me.

This mean being forced to have to kill myself led to, "What did I do that is so wrong for this to happen to me?" In other words, it is upsetting. Because the anwer is my inferior background is what started all the conflicts. Example: If I didn't have inferior background, then I don't have to be forced to kill myself.

The way I see it. It would be better if people give me supports. Instead forcing me to kill myself.

This mean at this rate. I'm not going to last long.

Yet, before writing about this, I did told myself. I'm going to try very hard to give myself a little bit of hope.

Is it about did I got that little bit of hope or not, or is it about did people give me supports or not?

So, the question is, "What am I trying very hard for?"

From this question, I would argues that I want to take my first step by trying to get some supports first. Then, complain about I'm being haunted by demons.

Yet, being forced to kill myself. Being haunted by demons. And, I have no supports. Would led to, "How long could I last?"

Looking at what I have wrote so far in this section would led to. Going back to the question, "Is it okay to have a little bit of bit hope?" From that question, my goal on writing this section is to have a little bit of hope.

Does this mean having a little bit of hope is equivalent to I'm dealing with the tormenting thoughts?

The argument is if I have a little bit of hope is equivalent to I have overcame the tormenting thoughts.

Going back to what I wrote at the beginning of this section, I'm trapping myself (or killing myself), So, I'm going to narrow down to the following 2 choices. In addition, in the future, if I'm being pressured by the tormenting thoughts, then I would write another "Important Note".

Choice 1: I believe that one day, I might able to get some supports. Example: There are people who would acknowledge that I have accumulated 199 First Places in the TM Game Tournaments. Those people would show their appreciation to those First Places by giving me some supports.

Choice 2: I would tells myself if I have to keep stopping my writing of the healing process to write about my tormenting thoughts. Also, I'm still at the beginning of the healing processs. Then, I'm not going to last long.

I would argues because I want find a solution to my current situation. So, I'm pushing myself to hurry on finish writing this healing process. The reason I have to hurry is because I'm still at the beginning of it. Also, while I'm writing this healing process, I have to write the Important Notes, so I could deal with my tormenting thoughts. In addition, because it is a very long healing process, so when I'm done writing it, it might be too late. Is it about finish it or not or is it about could too late?

Who would have guessed reading my PTTS posts or leave me a feedback could save me from tormenting myself to death?

Trapping Myself Argument

Trapping Myself Argument also known as Get Rich Or Die Trying Argument.

It is a trap to talk about the following:

[Trapping Myself Argument 02 Begin]

Daily Cooking: When you are poor, you decided to have 3 1/2 teaspoons of salts. Instead of 4 teaspoons. In your chicken soup. The voices in your head would criticize you. Your body started having rashes (pimples). When you are rich, you accidentally put 3 teaspoons of salts. Instead of 4 teaspoons. In your chicken soup. People would give you praises that your chicken soup tasted very delicious. Or, you created a very delicious soup mix.

Looking For A Girlfriend: When you are poor, if you have thoughts about maybe one day you could ask a girl to be your girlfriend. You can't even have thoughts about girls. When you are rich, girls are lining up to want to talk with you and want to be your girlfriend(s).

Little Things In Your Life: When you are poor, every little things you do is creating problems in your life. Everything you do is not right and/or not good enough. When you are rich, every little things you do is getting praises and/or being appreciate by people all over the world.

Getting Feedback: When you are poor, you are trying very hard for many years to get feedback at tumblr.com, but you can't get any feedback. Also, the voice in your head is telling you should be happy with no feedback.

Please Help Me: When you are poor, you posted up many posts at tumblr.com asking for help, but you have no feedback. When you are rich, you don't need to ask for help. People want to help you.

Trying To Connect With Your Community: When you are poor, it is very hard for you to talk with the people in your community. Also, you are getting bad vibe in your community. When you are rich, you don't have to worry about being connect with your community. Also, you have good vibe in your community.

[Trapping Myself Argument 02 End]

I would argues whenever I get a chance to talk about my situation. I would point out that I want to get connected with my community. Have friends and connections. Like I wrote above, when you are poor, bad lucks keep happening to you. So, I'm very confused.

The very confusing would led to the following argument: I'm not trying hard enough.

Old Age Agument: This argument is I'm an athlete, I exercise a lot, and play in 2 high school sport teams. So, the old age start happening to me at 60 years old. The old age happen to the average people at 50 years old. This mean I get 10 more years than the average people.

Daily Newspaper Argument: I would argues while I was growing up, I sees my father, Chung Wun Lam read the Chinese Newspapers daily. And, watch the News on TV daily. So, I been thinking that the society care about Newspapers and News on TV like my father. This mean the society would give me a chance to explain about the problems in my life.

I would argues it is hard for me to get feedback, appreciation, and support, but I don't want to kill myself. And, I think life should be appreciate even though, it is hard for me to get appreciation. In addition, according to the Old Age Argument, I'm not at my old age. According to the Daily Newspaper Argument, I get to have a chance to explain about the problems in my life.

This mean it is very hard for me to kill myself. So, if someone kill me as an act of mercy, because my life is a misery and it is hard for me to kill myself. Then, I won't die without a fight.

In the later on chapters, I would write about my Mission Bay High School (MBHS) years. Right now, I'm going to briefly go over an event in my MBHS years.

On 1999, Coach Shehe is the teacher aid in my class. Later on, on 2003, he became my English teacher and my MBHS wrestling team head coach.

In addition, whenever he talk with me, I could tells:

He did some background check on me.

He think that I'm facing a lot of problems in my life. Also, I'm lacking confidence because of those problems. The lacking confidence make me felt discouraged about life and have low self-esteem.

In one of the talks, he told me in the book, "Half Nelson" the protagonist is facing a lot of problems in his high school classes and at his house. So, he is lacking confidence in life. The lacking confidence make him having a hard time focusing on life.

Nevertheless, he would train very hard during the wrestling practices in the wrestling gym. The hard training was able him to stop the problems in his life and lack of confidence from ruin his life. At the same time, the hard training made him became a champion in the wrestling competition. I think what he trying to tells me is the Constantly Doing Physical Exercise Argument could stop the problems in a person life.

But, I think this argument, Constantly Doing Physical Exercise could only apply to my life while I was in the MBHS sport teams. Because back then, I could relies on my family members and my friends.

I would argues that I want to Constantly Doing Physical Exercise and stop thinking about "Trapping Myself Argument 02" or just don't think too much in general. But, I might run out of food and don't have foods to eat.

In addition, Constantly Doing Physical Exercise Argument is hard. I have to deal with my situation while doing physical exercise make it harder.

So, it is discontent if I able following through with the Constantly Doing Physical Exercise Argument by pushing myself through the hardship. Then, after got through the hardship, my situation made me don't have foods to eat.

This mean I been telling myself to Contantly Do Physical Exercise and don't think too much. And, it is not about able to push myself through the hardship or not. So, I want to ask the following question: Would I able to have foods to eat while pushing myself through the hardship?

Yet, I could vibe the following argument: If I stop thinking too much and/or trapping myself, then I have a higher chance of pushing myself through the hardship.

Relieving the Peer Pressures

The argument is because I have inferior background including immigrant status. So, the peer pressures is I think that my goal is to be like a regular student in the CPES campus.

But, what is the standard as a regular student?

My apartment is on Grand Avenue, turn left on Jewell Street. Continue walking until you get the CPES campus.

One time, while walking on the sidewalk of Jewell Street to our apartment. Me, Du, and Sandy decided to play tag. So, the tag game made us went to the alley way of Jewell Street.

In the alley way, we stop playing tag. And, started admiring a beautiful house. We started talking about the people who live in that beautiful house must be wealthy doctors.

Then, from the other side of fence of the beautiful house, a classmate, Anthony Munoz called out to me, "Hi Neng, what are you doing here?"

I told Du and Sandy I'm going to have a talk with Anthony. I'll catch up with them. They told me they will wait for me at Jewell Street.

I told Anthony I live on Grand Avenue. This mean my apartment is only 1 street away from his house.

I continue telling him that he already apologize to me back on 1993 when he held me back, so Ryan McClurg could punch me. I already accepted his apology.

Then, I asked him if he want to play tag with us?

"There is probably not enough space to play tag in my backyard." He told me.

"How about the alley way?" I asked him.

"I want to, but my parents don't want me to get out of the fence." He replied.

Even though, he held me back, so Ryan could punch me. And, he already apologized to me later on. But, I think if he have to stay inside the fence and can't play with other children, then it is kind of sad.

I think the reason I have this thought is because me and him been in the same class for multiple years. Also, my apartment is only a street away from his house.

So, I told him. I walk to school daily on Jewell Street. His house is on Jewell Street. That is why this is the first time I sees him, because he have to stay inside the fence.

He asked me if I want to come in his house. I told him me my brother and my cousin are waiting for me.

Then, I left the alley way and meet up with Du and Sandy.

The next day, I suggest to Anthony, that we could get to know each other if he come to my birthday party. This mean you have to get out of your fence.

Then, I told him that I will stop by his house and ask his parents if he could come to my birthday party. So, me and him set an appointment for me to stop by.

While I stop by his house. After I asked his parents. His parents told me that he wanted to have a talk with Anthony first.

As I'm waiting for his parents to finish the talk with him, I could tell that his parents and him are having talk about my birthday party.

Then, he told me that his parents doesn't want him to go to my birthday party.

In a way, I was expecting him to say no. Because his parents doesn't want him to leave the fence of his house.

Also, this is probably the best way. So, I could continue with my life and don't have to feel like I have to stop by his house, because I walk by his house daily. After all, he helped Ryan. That is how how Ryan able to make that punch on my stomach.

In addition, meeting him in his house is a more official way to accepted his apology for what happen on 1993 when he held me back, so Ryan could punch me.

Even though, he didn't come to my birthday party, but he gave me a birthday present on my birthday.

The birthday present is a very high-tech water-gun. The birthday present Adam Maze gave barely beat his. Because I been wanting a chance to starting collecting the NBA basketball league cards. So, the basketball trading cards Adam gave me was like what I was hoping to get as a present.

Afterward, me and Anthony continue with our life like before I met him at his house.

As for Adam, I told Adam I forgive him for not coming to my birthday party even though, we are supposed to be best friend. But, he don't have to give me a birthday present. Yet, I really like the present he gave me.

Then, I added if you wanted your present back. Or, if you wanted half of it. Then, I don't blame you. Because your present made me really happy on my birthday.

"Lets play Pogs." I suggested to him. To try to change the subject about my birthday party.

"I need to tell you something. I'll tell you during our game of tetherball." He told me.

While me and him are playing the tetherball game, he told me the following: "When my parents pick up today. I want you to have something. Keep it between me and you to avoid creating suspicion. Do whatever with it as you want. It is your."

Because me and him are best friend. So, I could accept another present from him.

"You will see." I could hear him mumbled to himself.

After about 15-20 minutes, his parents waved toward him from a distance.

"I have to go. Take this." He said and he handed me a bag. Then, he ran toward his parents.

When him and his parents are out of sight. I climbed up to the top of the Monkey Bar. After I made sure there are no one around, I took a peek inside the bag.

"Oh my god." I thought out loud.

Then, I quickly hide that bag inside my backpack. I try to wipe away any sweat on my forehead and face. And, act normal.

While I'm walking back to my apartment with Du and Sandy. I didn't talk with them to avoid creating any suspicion.

"He gave me his entire Pog collection. Do you know how much it worth? I have not sees any children have as many Pogs as him. Am I old enough to handle something this valuable?" I thought to myself during the walk.

"The average regular Pog cost 25-50 Cents each Pog. The lower quality Pog cost 5-10 for a $1.00. The holographic Pog $1.00 or more each Pog. Super Rare Pog cost more than holographic Pog. Promo Pog cost more than Super Rare Pog.

The average regular Slammer cost $1.00 each Slammer. Usually, 1 Slammer is worth about 5 Pogs.

This entire Pog collection make me a very rich student at CPES campus.

I remember Marc Hua told me one day, he would bring his most valuable trading card, "Jerry Rice" to school to show me.

I thought that was my only way to come near a trading card.

Then, Adam gave a brand new collection of 50 collectable trading cards for my birthday. "Michael Jordan" is the most valuable card in that collection. Is it arguable "Michael Jordan" is worth more than "Jerry Rice". "Michael Jordan" is the MIP in the Chicago Bulls basketball team. "Jerry Rice" is the quarterback in the San Francisco 49ers football team.

I don't know how much the 50 trading cards is worth.

But, I think that large Pog collection could worth. The lowest is $30. The highest is $60 or more.

What about the amount of time it take to search for all the Super Rare Pogs and Promo Pogs? What about the Pogs no longer selling in the store and out of print, you can't find those Pogs anywhere?

I flash a few of the Super Rare Pogs or Promo Pogs to the students, I would be the most popular student in the campus." I continue to thought to myself during the walk.

"If I tells him to take it back the next day. Then, I broke the agreement. What if I told him I would keep it as though it is mine. But, I'm okay with it if he wanted back." I continue to thought to myself during the walk.

After that though, I stop being nervous and sweating over his Pog collection. There are around 100 Pogs. And, 20 Slammers.

Most Pogs are made out of durable thick cardboard. There are Pogs made out plastic. The Pog and Slammer size is about 2 centimeter radius circle. The Slammer made out of hard thick plastic. The thickness of the Pog is as thick as a Credit Card. The thickness of the average Slammer is as thick as 3-5 Pogs stacked together. Pog only have 1 thickness. As for Slammer, there are an arrange of thickness for Slammers.

Some Pog players think that the Super Thick Slammer is better. Other Pog players think that thin Slammer have more control and technique.

Pogs and Slammers have 2 sides like a coin. The front side is like the Head side of the coin. The back side is like the Tail side of the coin.

There is a picture on the Pog front side. The pictures are characters from popular cartoons. Beside cartoon characters, the pictures could be creative, imaginative, or abstract designs or patterns. Example: Logos, symbols, and so on.

Most of the time, the Pog back side is plain/blank. Sometime, the back side have description and/or advertisement.

Most of the time, you could feel the engraved image on the front side of the Slammer. Slammer back side is like Pog back side, plain/blank. But, you could feel engravement on the back side of it.

The Ante could be any number of Pogs you want. But, you probably want to go with 1 Pog Ante. The number of player is the same as the Ante, you could have any number of players in 1 game. But, you probably want to go with 2-4 players.

The following are the rules for a 2-players game with 1 Pog Ante: You select a Pog you like from your opponent's Pog collection. Vice-versa, your opponent select a Pog from your Pog collection. Then, placed those 2 selected Pogs face down stack on top of each other on the ground (or a Pog matt if you have a Pog matt.). Flip a coin to decide who go first. Player1 goes first. Player2 goes second. When it is your turn, you would use your Slammer to slam on the 2 face-down Pogs. If any Pogs are face-up, then you win those Pogs. Win mean you get to keep them.

Most of the time, the Pog games I played are play for keep. I rarely play Pogs for fun. Play for fun mean after the game is over, you return the Pogs you win back to the player(s).

The next day, while me and him is at the campus playground, I would go with his agreement and try not to get too much attention about his Pog collection.

"Man. I thought I was getting good at Pogs. Your Pog collection made me felt like I'm a beginner in Pogs. I mean that is a lot of Pogs you gave me." I told him.

"You still remember that day you beat me in the "Four Square" game and "Monkey Bar". The students are cheering out your name. Forget about Pogs for now. Watch this. I'm going to says "Bloodsport", the crowd going to cheer out, "Knock Su Cout"." He told me.

Then, he turn his attention toward the students. "Listen up! Bloodsport." He raised his voice toward the students. Then, the students started cheering out, "Knock Su Cout… Knock Su Cout… Knock Su Cout…"

"That is what I'm talking about." He told me.

But, the crowd cheering is like my life. Because each fight I fought. There is a crowd of students cheering out my name. I don't sees anything new about it. Yet, the Pog collection could bring me things I want in life. Example: I could show people that Pog collection and get accepted as a collectable merchandise importer.

"I'm the Empty Handed Combat league regulator. I sees the crowd cheering all the time." I told him.

"I'm not done yet. Watch this." He replied.

"MORTAL KOMBAT!!!" He shouted toward the students.

All of a sudden, all the students in the playground started cheering out, "Mortal Kombat… Mortal Kombat… Mortal Kombat…"

Back to the mega water-gun. During the water-gun battles, my siblings, my cousins, my friends, and neighbors would fight over a chance to use that mega water-gun Anthony gave me.

Because it is much more powerful than the 99 Cents Store water-guns. All the people in the water-gun battles, are using the 99 Cents water-guns, I'm the only person with a mega water-gun. The 99 Cents water-gun could only load about 10+ ounces of water. That mega water-gun tank could load up to half of a gallon. One pump from that mega water-gun is like getting hit by multiple water-balloons.

I would let my siblings, my cousins, my friends, and neighbors take turn using that mega water-gun. We all really like using that mega water-gun. Also, we all have a lot of fun using that mega water-gun. So happen water-gun battle is our most favorited activity during the hot Summer days. Example: You wanted to get soaking wet to cool down on a hot Summer day. But, if you got soaking wet, then you are eliminated in the water-gun battle.

Looking at the water-gun battles, is it arguable Anthony's birthday present is better Adam's birthday present.

I would argues that because there are a lot of pressures on the most beautiful and beloved baby in Sand Be image. Being haunted by ghosts and nightmares. Living in the USA is a dream. And, the tough struggles I went through to adjust to living in the USA. So, I would try to cherish as much memories as I can.

But, the peer pressures are I'm an immigrant with inferior background. Anthony have wealthy doctor background. Adam have wealthy sport management background. The argument is nobody would believe what I wrote because compare my background to Anthony's background and Adam's background, I'm not important.

I argues that things finally work out for me. The students are celebrating me as the champion. Me and Adam became best friend. Anthony wanted to be my friend. Ashley wanted to be my girlfriend. And, my parents finally give me some of their time by spending some time with me. The peer pressures would argue it was a trap. I got trapped the whole time. I should have stay away from my family, because I'm living in a dysfunctional family.

Even though, I wanted a chance to explain what happen. But, I would argues the peer pressures could lead to making my situation very confusing.

Because I'm stress out about my situation. Also, it is a healing process. So, I'm going to put the peer pressures to the side in the following section (next section).

"Step By Step Long Journey To Acceptance And Forgiveness Part 34" continue in TM Game Tournament Magazine Announcement 14 Part 04.

[writerinchaos]

'No Kings' Protest in Kenosha, WI

Resistance

Chants ring out in the still air

Signs held proud, aloft

Creeping cars honk in solidarity

Sun glinting off the windshield

Poor people deserve dignity and respect

Immigrants deserve dignity and respect

Women deserve dignity and respect

Queer people deserve dignity and respect

You will not silence our beliefs with your billions

You will not stifle our independence with your power

You will not trample on our rights with your bigotry

You will not bury our dreams in your lawless bills

Our voices will ring over the dirge of discord

We will stand tall against this fascist regime

Our resistance will shatter the wall of inequity

We will emerge from the fires stronger, braver

[altocat]

Something i found interesting in rebirth was how they drew specific attention to Murasaki is a wutaian name and cloud saying that his family probably immigrated to midgar before the war

So there is a very high chance that if Hojo is still Sephiroth’s father, both are probably some percentage of wutaian

What’s weird is that this is brought up narratively right before the party meets vincent. SQUARE WHAT IS GOING ONNNN

I've always been of the mind that Sephiroth has Wutaian blood from somewhere, whoever his father might be. There's a lot of history Pre First Soldier that we still don't know. And Dirge only gave us a little.

[wanderingthedesertalone]

Finding and Identifying Archeological Antisemitism

It’s bewildering that seemingly intelligent men believe that Jews never were enslaved in Egypt when oral traditions, which do have some validity although not ultimately, and historic records demonstrate a Jewish population in a land where slavery was the norm. Certainly, like all immigrants, this migrant population was given, unless they came with coins in hand, less desirable career options, to understate the milieu of exiled Jews during the Middle to Ptolemaic periods of Egyptian history (2040–30 BCE). I will do my best to demonstrate that there was slavery in Egypt, which isn’t disputed, and Jews were among those who were enslaved.

It’s believed, in antisemitic archaeological circles, that there’s a lack of evidence for Jewish slavery in Egypt during the Middle (2000–1700 BCE) and Intermediate Period (1700–1550 BCE), the era that scholars believe that Exodus is making reference to(14). However, a dearth of findings doesn’t rule out Jewish slavery, this hypothesis can’t be disproved until there is concrete evidence to say that there weren’t any Semitic slaves in Egypt. The onus of this lays on scholars to prove inequivalently that lack of certain materials, that may yet to be unearthed, such as Judaic coins (I highly dispute the notion that slaves would have been buried with coinage or rituals object), demonstrates that there wasn’t an enslaved Jewish population in Egypt.

As a note, I’m not looking into anything later than 2000 BCE, the written record before this time has mostly, if it existed at all, been lost to the sand of time, not to mention this era may predate the ability for the Israelites to explore any further than Assyria and Mesopotamia.

If not slaves, what were Jews in ancient Egypt? Free and dangerous. Unsurprisingly, many scholars are quick to believe that there was an influential Jewish population in Egypt during the Middle and Intermediate Period (1700–1550 BCE) who tried to overthrow the government, left with stores of gold in hand and returned to bring war upon the Egyptians but no Jewish slavery(17). These scholars come to this conclusion through the same method they claim to be inaccurate, a few written records, namely Exodus 12:36 and the Histories of Manetho. However, The Torah isn’t our guide as to the facts, merely a pointer in the right direction. I would be remiss to base any evidence solely on the Torah, a document that is flawed by generations of a game of telephone, before scribes wrote the passages down, and a mixture of magico-folklore and historical record. Scripture alone, to the chagrin of many Rabbis, can’t be solely relied on as proof of slavery in Egypt, research must use the art of synthases. Returning to the point at hand, this notion echoes of 1860’s America, freed black would become the Black Brute, lurking in the shadows and waiting for any opportunity to inflict violence on the white man or foster the fall of civilization.

What if the Torah is completely inaccurate or outright lying about the exodus from Egypt? It’s noted that passages that refer to Exodus were written hundreds of years after the fact. For instance, Song of the Sea, one of the oldest passages in the Torah that refers to the Exodus was written around 1000 BCE(3), yet, the Exodus is considered, by Jewish historians, to have happened around 1400(14) BCE. Four hundred years is a long time for a story to evolve, however, the natural evolution of folklore doesn’t imply lying on part of the culture that retells that story nor does it imply that that specific narrative is void of truth. There’s been many cases where a piece of text that remains in the collective unconscious has been used to find the truth it hides, notably, the Gullah people of South Carolina identified their African roots through a funeral dirge.

Most importantly, even if Jews are wrong about their sojourn in Egypt, they aren’t, no ill intent is implied.

What about an alternative theory to a monolithic exodus? Although I don’t doubt Semitic slavery occurred in Egypt, I, for one, don’t believe that 600,000 Semites exited Egypt at once. Slavery was, and continues to be in countries like Mauritania and Saudi Arabia, ongoing in the region and perhaps exodus happened in waves. In the Jewish collective unconscious these waves are recollected and cause an insistence that exodus was a monolith and happened in 1400 BCE. It could be that the Song of the Sea refers to one wave and other passages refer to other waves in the continual Semitic exodus, something that, in many ways, continues until this very day. Yet, this is purely a hypothesis.

Something that rarely comes in up these discussions is that Jews were, according to a number of tablets and papyri like the Lachish relief(25), Sennacherib’s Annals(27), Nebuchadnezzar’s Chronicles(25) and ETC enslaved in Assyria, a region that may have been conflated with Egypt due to the plastic nature of folklores before scriptures were committed to tablets or papyri becoming cannon and the habit of scribes accidentally copying the notes of Rabbis into scripture or other mistakes that can alter Hebrew. Simply, Rabbis may have scribbled notes in the margins of scrolls comparing events and those notes could’ve been copied into later addition of scripture binding what was previously known to be waves in exodus into one event. This doesn’t suggest that Jews never were enslaved in Egypt, just that

The aforementioned tablets and papyri were written between 700–400 BCE, much after scholarly consensus on the date of The Exodus. Considering these events happened after The Song of the Sea had been committed to tablets and papyri, it certainly couldn’t have been what the author was referring to when they wrote this portion of scripture. Despite Rabbis attesting that the Torah was written at once by Moses, it’s an anthology of writing and some Linguists have noted that, based on the various ways in which YHWH is spelled in manuscripts of Exodus, portions of it could’ve been written as recent as 750 BCE(28).. It could be that Jews were enslaved in Egypt as well as other places and Exodus, existing in many iterations prior to the Council of Jamnia, the council that set the writings of The Torah in stone, combined a number of writings from different times and authors to construct the text. The fact is, folklore is plastic and dates details change over retelling of a narrative. Nonetheless, an outright denial of Semitic slavery in Egypt remains an act of antisemitism.

So, what is the point of going against scripture to find evidence of a downtrodden Jewish population in Egypt? And, I am aware that I’m bucking the system with these theories. It’s not that I strongly desire that my ancestors were enslaved idol worshippers, I simply desire to establish that it’s antisemitism that blinds archaeologists from considering the evidence. Without a doubt, contextual evidence suggests that Jews were among those enslaved in Egypt, giving credence to the fact that a Semitic people hail to the region and possess ancestral rights to land.

Upon examination, it’s easy to see antisemitism brewing among those who work with histories of the region, whether they be archaeological, religious or socio-political figures, so many organizations attempt to silence any talk of Jews legitimately making claims of homestead to the Middle East, Asia or North Africa. The plain fact is that even among members of the UN:

“Israel routinely faces more criticism and condemnation at the United Nations than any other country, including those that systematically kill their citizens or deny them the most basic human rights. Even today, both the [UN] General Assembly and Security Council continue to pass one-sided resolutions that single out and condemn the Jewish State(22).”

Not to mention, an overwhelmingly powerful bloc of Arab nations promotes a slanderous docket meant to isolate Israel that has met little resistance. What influence the politics or the region have over archaeological inquiry is yet to be discovered. However, influence over the general western zeitgeist can be seen in a shift in the ways in which Israel is portrayed in media(8). Jews are considered the oppressor and Palestinian and Muslims the oppressed. Certainly, this is cause for cognitive bias among archaeologists.

To be clear on the subject of the widespread subjectivity of Jews in Egypt when it comes to archaeology, especially when it comes to the past there’s not much we can be sure of, neither history nor the archaeological record can exist unadulterated by politics and human perception. The entirety of our knowledge of historical events is filtered through human interpretation and politics. As many have noted, the winners write the history books. In the milieu of 2023 all sympathy goes to the Islamic world, so much so that geopolitical histories have been revisioned, by many, to exclude Jews as the inhabitants of their homeland, demonstrating that antisemitism has become the norm. Or, as Alexander Cudsi, Professor Emeritus on Middle East Politics states “history finds no evidence of any people, race, tribe or culture known as Palestinian who attempted at any time to reclaim any lost land to any domestic or foreign colonizer. The anthropological miracle called the Palestinians only came into existence in the 1960’s.” Today’s Palestinians are invaders from Greece and the Philistines, not an indigenous group who predated the Canaanites(2). These invaders first arrived in the region around 500 BCE. Despite this, the narrative and general zeitgeist, at least among westerners, has shifted. Nowadays, Palestinians have been granted the role of the oppressed and Jews the villains.

Archaeological antisemitism has been long in the works, so long it’s a reflex for many. Cudsi also notes that the The Roman Emperor Hadrian, after ransacking Jerusalem, believed that renaming the area after the Jews’ immortal enemy, the Philistines, would be the ultimate act of hostility(2). Yet, this fact has been intentionally forgotten, almost reflexively. It has been quietly swept under the rug that the region was renamed by a man who destroyed The Second Temple, banned circumcision and reading of the Torah(10) and possibly encouraged the migration of the Greek to the Palestinia as a means of erasing Jews from the archaeological record and memory. Why not, based on this washing of history, for political reasons, deny Jews were enslaved in Egypt as well as deny their right to a homeland? Antisemitism is so ingrained in the current milieu, those so inclined to believe that Jew weren’t enslaved in Egypt and consequentially have no right to lands in Israel never consider their actions or words to be those of hatred.

Originally, the attempt at removal of Jews from the archaeological record and denying rights to the region was enacted through destruction of toparchies (administrative districts made up of central towns and the rural areas surrounding them, a system that dates back to the reign of King Solomon)(19), razing of The Second Temple and etymology. Yet, not even Emperor Hadrian was completely successful at this. The fact is thus, the typology of ceramic shards found in Palaestina, although there are few intact pottery shards, are glazed with Northwest Semitic epigraphy(26). However, this is ignored as a fluke in the archaeological record just like those papyri, written as inventories of slaves owned, are dismissed as too vague.

Findings of pottery shards in North America, for example, are used to identify which tribe inhabited the examined region. But somehow this, along with papyri and oral tradition, falls short when establishing Palestine as the Jewish homeland. Still today there are many who attest that Jews never inhabited the region and that the region had been inhabited by a non-semitic tribe called the Palestinians. A desire to completely remove Jews from the region, dating back to the time of Emperor Hadrian and continuing into the modern era of Muslim theocracies, denying Jews any claims to a homeland in the Middle East or North Africa, may be the original motivation behind archaeological antisemitism.

Most dishearteningly, antisemitism is perpetuated by today’s media. A growing Western love of all things Islam perpetuates this prejudice, as I’ve noted. This symptom, which without a doubt effects at least American born archaeologist, has been exacerbated by the Black Lives Matter movement, member of can be seen, during the protests of 2020, demanding that Jews who showed up to the demonstration as an act of solidarity “get the [expletive] out of here, this isn’t your fight, Revelation Two and Nine synagogue of Satan(16).” Hatred is casually baked into the western zeitgeist affecting archaeologists and everyone in equal measure. I, for one, have experienced both overt and covert antisemitism, made to feel as though I should apologize for being a “Zionist” to other members of my political party.

Despite an attempt to erase Jews from Egypt and the surrounding lands, pottery fragments found in Tell El-Dab’a were chemically derived from Palestine(20). The fragments dated to between 1663–1555 BCE and demonstrate that a population who hailed from Palaestina was at least in Egypt during the Intermediate Kingdom (1700–1550 BCE), if not enslaved, as merchants. It’s known that trade between Israel and Egypt has been going on since the beginning of the Middle Period, around 2000 BCE. To demonstrate, the tomb of the high priest Khnumhotep II depicts a Semitic traders bringing offerings to the dead(1). There isn’t much dispute of a Semitic population in Egypt during the Intermediate and Middle Kingdoms, history has, as a small consolation prize, awarded a consensus that the burial and religious practices of Tell El-Dab’a were influenced by Canaanites. I guess in the antisemitic mind it’s somewhat OK if Jews were there as long they were nothing more than Bedouin, if they were landowners or enslaved, they might have ancestral rights to the region’s land.

How did the majority of Jews end up in Egypt? I feel that the best answer is in the book Egypt and the Exodus. Some arrived as family units, some were brought to Egypt as captives, as indicated by Harris I Papyri (a document that calls Jewish slaves The Sea People and numbers them in the thousand), during the reign of Ramesses III. Most were exploited as a ready labor force in the Nile’s eastern Delta. Interestingly, The Harris I Papyri is undisputed, a document that accounts for 2000 slaves, yet archaeology continues to deny the existence of Semitic captives in Egypt(3). Too often, those who’ve lived in the dark refuse to see the light, the light, after such a long sojourn in the dark, hurts their eyes.

What’s most fascinating about the migration pattern noted in Egypt and the Exodus, which I find to be more plausible than Exodus’s account, all Jews in Egypt descending from Jacob (Exodus 1:1–1:3), is that the Jews entered Egypt in waves, among them were both free men and slaves, creating a socio-cultural system that contained both free and enslaved Semitic peoples. In sum, both arriving at and leaving Egypt happened in waves. Those who entered, entered for a number of reasons, both reputable and nefarious (ancient Jews were, afterall, human) and as various socio-economic classes.

This notion is certainly supported by Egyptian customs. Egyptian slavery is identified as corvée labor(29), a system in which a workforce is organized for specific projects from among the available people, which could include both locals and foreigners.

Although it’s debated whether or not Jews were enslaved during Egypt’s Middle (2000–1700 BCE) and Intermediate Period (1700–1550 BCE) there exists plenty of records documenting slavery in Egypt. According to Dr. Mark Janzen the Satire of the Trades outlines the dangers and misfortunes that accompany seemingly every occupation but that of the scribe.” Various phrases referring to a types of forced labor are found in the Satire:

w Hr bAk.f (“drawn/made to work”),

w Hr bAk.f mni.ti (“made to work in the fields”),

tw.f m Ssm 50 (“beaten with 50 lashes” for a day’s absence), etc(23).

Although these terms don’t directly name Semitic peoples as slaves, possibly as a form of dehumanization or the fact that details about the lowest of socio-economic status are typically left out of the annals of antiquity (consider the burial practices of women in orthodox Islamic countries that continue till this very day). These terms do establish that there was slavery in Egypt during the aforementioned period. Interestingly, a reference is made to “Western Asiatics” in The Satire of Trades which is possibly a translation of Hyksos, Manetho’s term for Semitic peoples. There’s little to no dispute whether or not slavery occurred in the ancient world. It’s simply a question of where Jews enslaved there and why would anyone in this day and age care if they were.

The Hyksos(17), whose history was written down by the scholar Manetho, although hundreds of years after the fact, gives an alternate story of the Jews in Egypt. Manetho claims that the Hyksos established a capital in Tell el-Dabʿa, the eastern Delta and controlled the Nile Valley as far south as Hermopolis. Although this is most likely a revisionary history by an armchair scholar, most of the Hyksos personal names are west-semitic(17). However, this only states that names of Canaanite origin were known during the lifetime of Manetho, the reign of Ptolemy I. The only other point of interest in The Histories of Manetho is that early archaeological antisemitism can be seen. The document states that the Hyksos inherited their religion from a leprous Egyptian priest and insinuates that the Jews were the Black Brute of their day. Just as the Torah is disregarded as solid evidence, The Histories of Manetho should be as well, after all, they are merely a record of folklore.

Moreover, I’m not here to dispute the origins of Judaism, but in short, I’m certain that concepts were borrowed from regional folklore, Baalism and Zoroastrianism, not handed down by a sickly Egyptian Magi. Yet, there are some who believe that the tetragram YHWH originated with the Edomites, descendants of modern Jordan, and migrated to Israel ``Edomites split from the main body of Edomites, moved northwest, and became one of the tribes of the Israelites, taking their god YHWH and YHWH became the G-D of the Israelites(21). Although I find this disagreeable, I am certain that, despite biblical and Talmudic edicts against it, Jews of antiquity practised exogamy(5) and adapted customs from other cultures along the way.

Lastly, The Brooklyn Papyri gives an interesting inventory of Asiatic slaves captured during war:

[O]f the seventy-nine servants presented in the list on the verso side of the Brooklyn Papyrus as belonging to a single owner, at least thirty-three were Egyptians(23)!

Taken as a whole, both native-born Egyptians and foreigners could be compelled into slavery. Yet, the trouble with defining a “slave” status in ancient Egypt and thus declaring concrete evidence of Jewish slaves is that there is no consensus as to the precise legal statuses of those called “slaves/servants” (Hm.w) or “workers” (bAk.w)(23). Just as women in conservativity Islamic countries are buried in unmarked graves, those without rights weren’t often described in depth in legal documents, legal documents typically boiling down to ‘a nameless slave was sold to so and so.’

Aside from circumstantial evidence, what proof of Jewish slavery do archaeologists intend to find in the Egyptian sands? What would be concrete evidence? Archeologically speaking “any notice of slavery was done through historical written records. It was believed to be the only way of seeing slavery, that there was no way to know that slaves existed unless you knew they were there. Ropes deteriorated over time, and chains were often repurposed(11),” not to mention, the sands of Egypt are a monster with a voracious appetite, the pyramids were engulfed by sand for thousands of years. Moreover, the desert may be an excellent environment for preserving papyri, but so much is lost beneath the sand and anything of value was pillaged by the intermediate years between burial and archaeological excavation. What remains in the ground are objects that most considered to be useless or cursed. Finally, the places in which Jewish slaves inhabited, the east bank of the Nile, was prone to seasonal flooding, water, like sand storms, is a destructive force that man is useless in fighting against.

If any artefacts of Jewish slavery remain, where would they be found? The setting described in Exodus is most likely Egypt’s east Delta, on these fertile grounds, the Nile floods yearly. Although, as I mentioned, the desert readily preserves objects, even naturally mummifying the dead, the shores of the Nile do not. Perennial flooding destroys almost everything not buried. Moreover, the area has no source of stone, and mud-brick structures, the kind that would’ve housed slaves, fortified merchant tombs and were used to make storehouses, melted back into the mud and silt from which they were formed(9). Besides the lack of available material, slave quarters, as they are globally known to be, wouldn’t have been made of lavish or durable materials. Heavy limestone was used to construct pyramids, not the houses of peasants. At best, archaeologist may find hearths, sacrificial pits or other circumstantial evidence that more than anything else points to habitation along the east banks of the Nile or scrolls, like the Papyrus Bologna 1094, from the Ramissede Period (1292 BC to 1189 BCE). Papyrus Geneva D 187(30) tells how two workers fled their taskmaster because he beat them. On its own, not the most compelling evidence. Moreover, due to damage, the papyrus is largely unreadable, but some speculate that it is referring to Semitic slaves. All in all, it seems that little concrete evidence of slavery exists under the Egyptian sands. Worst of all, no other culture is expected to produce concrete evidence of slavery because asking for these artefacts is like asking for a shoehorn with teeth, it just doesn’t exist. But, this is the ever changing nature of antisemitism.

Perhaps, graves of Jewish slaves are yet to be discovered, where DNA testing can be conducted, but slaves may have been thrown into the Nile as a final insult. For these reasons, and the repurposing of tools of slavery along with pillaging of graves (though slaves were most likely not buried with tools or ritual items if they were buried at all) no physical evidence of slaves working along the east Delta is likely to have survived the ravages of millennia seasonal flooding and man’s need to repurpose objects that are no longer of use. I feel no need to defend the notion of continual repurposing aside from this one note, even temples in the region were recommissioned to serve new deities with the coming and going rulers and religious customs.

Besides, what trinkets were the Jewish slaves allowed, bits of cloth to cover their nakedness and a few Shekels? In 1981, Mauritania became the world’s last country to abolish slavery. But, it wasn’t until 2007 that the government passed a law allowing slaveholders to be prosecuted(7). Yet, the ownership of slaves continues to this very day. In this land, there’s an unknown quantity of slave graves. Perhaps, archaeologists should inspect the slave graves of Mauritania to find if the region’s downtrodden are buried with anything more than the clothes they were wearing upon death. My hypothesis is that the slaves are buried in shallow graves, against local Islamic custom, without the mandatory funeral shroud(12). At least no one denies that ex–slaves rest beneath the sand of Mauritania.

Why exhume the slave graves of Mauritania? Mauritania is relatively close to Egypt, shares a commonality in dialect of Arabic spoken (many speak Arabic in an Egyptian fashion), is known for burial rites as rich as those practised during the Egypt’s Middle Period (both regions are known for cultural heteronomy) and these peoples culturally and biologically share ancestry along with a long history of slavery with Egypt(15). Degraded peoples have little or no belonging and what they did possess may be lost to the sands of time. Looking at the slave graves of Mauritania will demonstrate that expecting to find concrete evidence of slavery is either an oversight by archaeologists or antisemitism disguised as a dilemma in archaeological practices. As noted before, archaeologically speaking, any notice of slavery has been gathered through historical written record, which, when it comes to Jews in Egypt, there is a plethora of.

Furthermore, to say that a lack of physical evidence of a denigrated people inequivalently proves that said people never inhabited the region or fell to servitude there is remiss. In fact, it seems counterproductive to not rely on both documentary and archaeological sources to find the remains of people who were treated as subhumans. As I’ve noted, remains might not have been interred with either the Judaic or Egyptian burial traditions. To reiterate, it’s a false sense of intellectualism and modernism that says that oral traditions have no validity and, although admittedly flawed, of no use in scientific inquiry. In man’s collective unconscious heroes become gods and exact dates become obscured but free men don’t become slaves. It is our human, and especially Jewish, nature to celebrate those, even if small, victories that have kept our ethno-religious group extant. After all, we are purportedly the founders of The Protocols of Zion and the murders of the only incarnation of the Abrahamic G-D. Thus being, we are villainized by all, including both of the dominant political parties of America (see Beri Weiss: How to Fight Antisemitism) and large portions of the Islamic world, we have more than enough reason to celebrate those small victories over those who wish another holocaust upon us. For a reference, apocryphal writings, those texts, like the Maccabean Revolt and Enoch, in which the Jews were victorious over an almost unstoppable force, in the above cases the force being a Roman invasion and death demonstrate that Jews, like all peoples, create heroes of the fallen not slaves. This just goes to show that among the downtrodden, formidable enemies may become nepheline, but again free men don’t become slaves in the annals of history, not when those free men control the narrative. There certainly wasn’t a global flood, as it’s said in the Torah, but a number of events noted in other folklores, notably, The Fires of Queensland have been demonstrably proven. There is a kernel of truth to Jewish slavery in Egypt, it’s contemporary media enforced antisemitism that continually denies this truth and resists further inquiry.

A piece of Gugu Badhun folklore, an Aboriginal people, has been passed down through 230 generations. A tape recording made in the 1970s documented an elder talking of a huge explosion shaking the land, followed by the forming of a massive crater. An acrid dust swept through the skies and if people walked into the haze, they were never seen again(6). It was later found that a meteor had struck Queensland and such a fire did occur. Is it just a coincidence that the Gugu Badhun mentions a fire and a fire occurred? I’m not here to say, but most oral traditions include tales of fire, famine and flood because throughout human history these events have occurred and these tales serve to warn that these events will occur again.

It is antisemitism that causes archaeology to find the folklore of Oceania and Asia as endearing and worth investigating, but dismisses Jewish oral traditions. It’s antisemitism that causes archaeology to declare that “there’s substantial evidence to suggest that the Gugu Badhun oral tradition is about an actual fire but Jewish slavery is a myth, when there is enough evidence to at least admit the possibility that among the inhabitants of Egypt there were both free and enslaved Jews and those Jews assisted in constructing large scale projects. Those who worked on these projects, granaries and palaces, may have been a combination of out of work farmers, free and enslaved Jews. For a project this size, this is a plausible explanation.

Transitioning from folklore to written text, Exodus makes two basic assertions, Jews were forced to make mud-bricks and they built “supply cities.” There exists documentation of forced Semitic mud-brick making, Louvre Leather Roll 1274(13), from the time of Ramses II, between 1279–1212 BCE, reads “Paherypedjet son of Paser is one of the brickmakers who fails to deliver his quota of 2,000 bricks.” This scroll predates Semitic references to Exodus, the oldest verse about the Exodus, The Song of the Sea, was written between 1125 and 1000 BCE. The date of The Song of the Sea was derived via textual considerations, the historical and cultural context presented in the hymn. This may not be the strongest piece of evidence, but as a piece of the whole, the fact that this does mirror the Torah, the inventories of Asiatic or Hyksos slaves and, murals that depict slave life in Egypt (especially those that present Jewish slaves as smaller than their Egyptian counterparts) and text that mention a Semitic forced labor population.

It must be antisemitism that causes an irrational denial of Jews being in the region and some of the Jew having been forced into labor. If they didn’t contribute to building the pyramids, which may have been nothing but a Hollywood trope and isn’t supported in scripture, it was other projects at least, palaces, storehouses and works made of, As Jews in Egypt were noted to work with, mud-brick. It’s no stretch of the imagination that texts that predate the oldest known portions of Exodus and collaborate with the Torah, combined with other evidence, stands as fairly sound evidence. It’s simply personal incredulity that causes archeologists to deny Jewish slavery in Egypt with absolute certainty.

The second assertion of Exodus 1:11, as mentioned above, is that the Jews must build supply cities. Archaeologists had been puzzled by the potential location of the biblical supply city, properly known as Pithom, until it was identified by E. Naville. The city is just as expected to be, a group of granite statues representing Rameses II standing between two gods, a city wall encircled the compound, a ruined temple and the remains of a series of brick buildings with very thick walls that contained rectangular chambers of various sizes and opened only at the top and without any communication with one another were unearthed at the site(18). However, archaeologists continue to refuse to find this compelling evidence on the grounds of lack of implements of slavery, this is simply antisemitism, again, what would they expect to find? Shackled remains holding a shekel?

Evidence like The tomb of vizier Rekhmire, circa 1450 BCE, shows foreign slaves fashioning bricks for the workshop-storeplace of the Temple of Amun at Karnak in Thebes as well as building a ramp. They are labelled “captures brought-off by His Majesty for work at the Temple of Amun(9).” Yet, antisemitism continues to act as a blinder in the archaeological community. Even more textual evidence, The Harris Papyrus I, a writing from the reign of King Ramses III, during the Middle Period reads:

“I brought back in great numbers those that my sword has spared, with their hands tied behind their backs before my horses, and their wives and children in tens of thousands, and their livestock in hundreds of thousands. I imprisoned their leaders in fortresses bearing my name, and I added to them chief archers and tribal chiefs, branded and enslaved, tattooed with my name, their wives and children being treated in the same way(3).”

The author refers to the conquered people as the Sea People. They are those who hail from Israel. It’s not just scrolls and folklore that indicate Jewish slavery in Egypt. As I’ve noted, pottery fragments found in Tell El Dab’a are of Palestinian origin, murals depict Semitic slaves and a recent discovery, a mass grave, may contain the remains of Jewish slaves.

In Akhenaten’s City, two biblical era workmen mass burial grounds have been unearthed, the South and North Tombs Cemeteries. The graves contain youths of 3–25 years old and “paint a picture of poverty, hard work, poor diet, ill-health, frequent injury and relatively early death,” stated Archaeologist Mary Shepperson. The South Tombs Cemetery has almost no grave goods for the dead and only rough matting used to wrap the bodies, exactly what one might expect to find in the graves of Semitic slaves. However, the origins of the inhabitants of these tombs are debated, but the debate is one of the most transparently antisemitic arguments for not investigating if the remains are of enslaved peoples. Shepperson stated that as far as I’ve seen, the inhabitants of the tomb are heterogeneous, the type of population one might find in a metropolitan, according to bone structure, so none of the interred could be of Jewish descent(4). This just goes to show how blinded even archaeologists are by their biases. In the end, only DNA testing can inequivalently determine origin. Sure, Anthropology, by examining skull bones may take a stab at a person’s origin, but it’s not a perfect science and the results, especially in this instance, may be obscured by interpreter bias.

Pottery fragments, oral tradition, papyri and murals made for pharaohs all attest that Jews were enslaved in Egypt. When combined with the writings of Manetho, we see that there was a socio-economic system that contained both free and enslaved Jew in Egypt between 2000–1000 BCE. Why would any intelligent man who is able to extrapolate data based on synthesizing findings deny there were Jewish slaves in Egypt along with the free, those who either lead a revolt or simply left with gold and silver, I can only attribute to the antisemitism the began with Emperor Hadrian and continues, through the media, to be disseminated until this very day. It seems that fools will only coincide to an enslaved population in Egypt if shekels and shackles are found, two things most likely pillaged and reused, not the type of artifacts left in the unceremonious burials of second class citizens. Most frustratingly, this is not the standard applied to other cultures when it comes to proof of historical servitude.

One final piece of evidence of Jewish slavery in Egypt is the presence of a four room house(3), dating back to Ramses III or IV, built in a Jewish style. However, I don’t find this as compelling as others do. Architectural styles change and the genesis of an aesthetic may pop up in several cultures at about the same time, notice how many cultures claim “we invented the number zero.” Yet, I do find documents like The Harris Papyrus I to be undeniable proof of Jewish slavery in Egypt. Unlike other writers, the author of this papyrus had no intention of telling a good story, it’s simply an inventory of what Ramses III believed to be his, thousands of Semitic slaves. Those who deny the proofs either have something to gain by it or themselves are slaves to the media which has been on a smear campaign since the time of Emperor Hadrian.

Was there an enslaved Jewish faction who were compelled to build the storehouses of mud-brick. I’m sure there were. Were there Jews who led a rebellion against the Pharaoh, I’m certain that this happened as well, although they were freedom fighters not villains not the villainous murderer, intent on grabbing as much power and gold as they can, that Manetho makes them out to be . Most likely, just as there were free Blacks and enslaved blacks before 1865 in the US there were both enslaved and free Jews in Egypt.

As I’ve noted, folklore makes everything bigger. The role of a storyteller is to tell a good tale, not accuracy and so when looking into the past through folklore we must carefully pull apart the feasible from the magical. I do believe that we’ve broken down the facts and established that Jews were compelled into labor in ancient Egypt. In the end, the Jewish collective unconscious recollects waves of entering and exiting Egypt, conflating these collective memories with the story of exodus. However, it’s archaeological antisemitism, caused by a long history of politically based hatred, that causes the archaeologist to outright dismiss that Jews were ever enslaved in Egypt.

Bibliography

1 Articles de Presse. (n.d.). ARCHEOLOG-HOME /INDIana-UNIversitas. http://www.archeolog- home.com/pages/content/were-hebrews-ever-slaves-in- ancient-egypt.html

2 Baum, P. (2021, October 22). History finds no evidence of any people, race, tribe or culture known as Palestinian. BLiTZ. https://www.weeklyblitz.net/opinion/history-finds-no-evidence-of-any-people-race-tribe-or-culture-known-as-palestinian/

3 Bietak, M. (n.d.). Egypt and the Exodus.

4 Borschel-Dan, A. (2017, June 9). In ancient mass graves, archaeologists find child slaves of biblical Egypt. Times of Israel. https://www.timesofisrael.com/in-ancient-mass-graves-archaeologists-find-child-slaves-of-biblical-egypt/

5 Bryn Mawr Classical Review. (n.d.). https://bmcr.brynmawr.edu/2002/2002.07.37

6 Cadet-James, Y., James, R. P., McGinty, S., & McGregor, R. (2017). Gugu Badhun: people of the Valley of Lagoons. In Aboriginal Studies Press eBooks. https://researchonline.jcu.edu.au/49419/

7 Campbell, G. B. F. J. (2016, October 14). The State of Slavery in Mauritania. Council on Foreign Relations. https://www.cfr.org/blog/state-slavery-mauritania

8 Cornish, A. (2021, May 21). Liberal American Attitudes Are Starting To Shift On Israelis And Palestinians. NPR. https://www.npr.org/2021/05/21/999241551/liberal-american-attitudes-are-starting-to-shift-on-israelis-and-palestinians

9 Dospěl, M., & Dospěl, M. (2023, June 7). Pharaoh’s Brick Makers — Biblical Archaeology Society. Biblical Archaeology Society -. https://www.biblicalarchaeology.org/daily/ancient-cultures/ancient-egypt/pharaohs-brick-makers/

10 Hudson, M. (n.d.). What was Hadrian’s relationship with his Jewish subjects? Encyclopedia Britannica. https://www.britannica.com/story/what-was-hadrians-relationship-with-his-jewish-subjects

11 Kmulvehill. (2017a, April 24). The Archaeology of Slavery | Real Archaeology. https://pages.vassar.edu/realarchaeology/2017/04/24/the-archaeology-of-slavery/

12 Lagdaf, S. (2017). The cult of the dead in Mauritania: between traditions and religious commandments. The Journal of North African Studies. https://doi.org/10.1080/13629387.2016.1269230

13 Leather Scroll: Quota for Brick-making, 1274 BCE : Center for Online Judaic Studies. (n.d.). https://cojs.org/leather_scroll-_quota_for_brick-making-_1274_bce/

14 Marotta, K. (2020, October 19). When did the Exodus happen? https://www.wednesdayintheword.com/when-did-the-exodus-happen/

15 Mauritania | History, Population, Capital, Flag, & Facts. (2023, May 24). Encyclopedia Britannica. https://www.britannica.com/place/Mauritania/Plant-and-animal-life

16 New York Post. (2020, October 29). BLM mob violently chases Jewish men showing ‘solidarity’ at Philadelphia protest | New York Post [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1bBmeagZAI

17 Pinpointing the Exodus from Egypt. (n.d.-a). Harvard Divinity Bulletin. https://bulletin.hds.harvard.edu/pinpointing-the-exodus-from-egypt/

18 PITHOM — JewishEncyclopedia.com. (n.d.). https://jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/12192-pithom

19 Schiffman, L. H. (2022). The Land of Israel Under Roman Rule. My Jewish Learning. https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/palestine-under-roman-rule/

20 Sons of Jacob — New Evidence for Presence of Israelites in Egypt — Associates for Biblical Research. (n.d.). https://biblearchaeology.org/research/patriarchal-era/3317-the-sons-of-jacob-new-evidence-for-the-presence-of-the-israelites-in-egypt

21 The Name Yahweh in Egyptian Hieroglyphic Texts. (2010, March 8). https://biblearchaeology.org/research/topics-by-chronology/exodus-era/3233-the-name-yahweh-in-egyptian-hieroglyphic-texts

22 The UN Relationship with Israel. (n.d.). Copyright 2023. https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/the-u-n-israel-relationship

23 What We Know about Slavery in Egypt — TheTorah.com. (n.d.). https://www.thetorah.com/article/what-we-know-about-slavery-in-egypt

24 Wikipedia contributors. (2023a). Assyrian conquest of Egypt. Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assyrian_conquest_of_Egypt

25 Wikipedia contributors. (2023b). List of inscriptions in biblical archaeology. Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_inscriptions_in_biblical_archaeology

26 Wikipedia contributors. (2023c). Levantine archaeology. Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Levantine_archaeology

27 Windle, V. a. P. B. B. (2020, July 3). Sennacherib: An Archaeological Biography. Bible Archaeology Report. https://biblearchaeologyreport.com/2020/07/03/sennacherib-an-archaeological-biography/

28 The Editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica. (1998, July 20). Exodus | Definition, Summary, & Facts. Encyclopedia Britannica. https://www.britannica.com/event/Exodus-Old-Testament

29 Wikipedia contributors. (2023c). Corvée. Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corv %C3%A9e

30 Wente, E. F. (1967). Late Ramesside Letters.

[sinceileftyoublog]

mui zyu Interview: Embracing the Chaos

mui zyu

JORDAN MAINZER

Pop experimenter mui zyu--the stage name for London-based artist Eva Liu--combines explorations of her heritage with wide-eyed, open-hearted dives into the modern world. Born in Northern Ireland to parents who were Hong Kong immigrants, Liu grew up studying more classical art before choosing to pursue film studies at university. Her first foray into recording music was as lead vocalist of alt rock trio Dama Scout; she released her debut EP as mui zyu in 2021. mui zyu's debut album, Rotten Bun for an Eggless Century reckoned with ideas of identity and lineage but also memory and perception, Liu continuing her tradition of using field and voice recordings from her family. But it was a mere year later where Liu took the biggest artistic leap.

On miu zyu's second album nothing or something to die for (Father/Daughter), Liu's themes and soundscapes expanded beyond bedroom pop, beyond her head. Fittingly, it was her first time not recording at home. With a grant from the PRS Foundation, Liu and her longtime collaborator Luciano Rossi were able to set up at Middle Farm Studios in Devon, sessions that challenged Liu to take her sound to the next level, increasing her use of vocal manipulation and pedal wizardry. Its genre aesthetics are wonderfully all over the place. Scraped, raw acoustic guitar-led love song "everything to die for" is sandwiched between whirring synth-and-drum machine jam "the mould" and the melancholic, Postal Service-esque "donna like parasites". "speak up sponge", meanwhile, is a string-laden, comparative dirge. Album closer “扮豬食老虎”, with piano, sampled vocals from Liu's family, echoing field recordings, and decaying synths, exists somewhere between Rotten Bun and William Basinski's The Disintegration Loops.

What's also special about nothing or something to die for is that Liu was able to work with like-minded artists. Miss Grit, whose work also uses fantastical, sci-fi themes to investigate identity, lends her vocals to "please be ok", a song about not being honest with yourself about your feelings in the presence of others. She and Liu harmonize, eventually over a drum machine beat, only to be subsumed by faster tempos and distortion, as if to remind themselves it's important to let it all out in the beginning, else you're drowned out. Father/Daughter labelmate Pickle Darling features on "in the dot", providing strikingly atonal vocals to go along side warbling synths on a song that reminds us that momentary happiness is preferable to the destructive pursuit of perfection. Perhaps most meaningful to Liu, though, was getting to work with lei, e, aka Emma Lee Moss (fka Emmy the Great). Liu looked up to Moss, another Hong Kong British artist in the indie music scene, for years before getting to work with her, eventually opening for her and singing Cantonese covers with her at the Hackney Chinese Community Centre in London. For their first proper original song collaboration, mui zyu and lei, e take us on a sonic odyssey, adding to the album's canvas of synths, drum machines, and guitar distortion with off-kilter piano, noise, and then a quiet hum.

In September, mui zyu released nothing or something to die for (Cantonese tasting menu), 5 songs from the album translated into Cantonese. It was an opportunity for Liu to work with not only Moss but her father, for hours over the phone, on translating the lyrics. The specific songs picked are a perfect encapsulation of mui zyu's current diverse sensibilities; if you wanted to get a sense for who she is as an artist, ironically, I'd tell you to start there. Most exciting is that mui zyu remains unpredictable, the type of artist who could go in one of many different directions and will probably pick the least expected route.

Last year, I spoke with Liu over Zoom about her songwriting process and picking collaborators on nothing or something to die for, as well as how film inspires her music. Read our conversation below, edited for length and clarity.

nothing or something to die for cover art

Since I Left You: Now that nothing or something to die for has been out for a while, has your relationship with the music changed because you've gotten outside reception?

Eva Liu: I don't think it's changed. I finished the album [in October 2023]. We got it to a place where I was really happy with it. I haven't said goodbye to it, [but] once it's out of your control, you let it do its thing.

SILY: With the addition of videos, the album has a whole visual identity. It almost seems like nothing or something to die for is more than an album, like a conceptual world.

EL: Because [my] first [record] had a concept that arrived naturally, I didn't want this album to has as much of a concept. But it has definitely formed its own little world naturally. In a way, it's looking outwards as opposed to inwards like the first album. There wasn't a narrative I was building--the songs just go well together. Putting it together was kind of chaotic, and the album is about embracing chaos, so it seems like that was meandering throughout it.

SILY: Did you study film?

EL: I studied Film Studies at university. It wasn't practical or about making a film, but it was about film theory, kind of like [what Art History is to art.] I actually didn't want to go to uni, but I didn't know what to do. I love film, so that's why I chose [to study Film Studies.]

SILY: You've certainly mentioned a lot of direct filmic inspirations on some of these songs. How do you connect the film world to the music world? How do those inspirations, like 2001: A Space Odyssey on "satan marriage" or Blue Velvet on "sparky", come about?

EL: I don't really write with film in mind. I do have a sort of vision with the songs, and having been so influenced by film in the past, I am inspired a lot by images and art and how [movies are made.] Sometimes, if I want to capture a certain feeling in a song or video, I'll reference certain pieces of work that I love. But I'm not wanting to write about film, if that makes sense. It's just something that helps me creatively.

SILY: The folks you collaborated with on this record are everyone from those you looked up to in the past to your peers and a Father/Daughter labelmate. How did you choose your list of collaborators, and what does it mean to you to have this group in particular on the record?

EL: lei, e was someone I looked up to in my journey with music and identified with, having not seen many artists who are from Hong Kong or Hong Kong British, especially in the indie scene. I loved her music, and she was definitely a role model for me. I had reached out [three] years ago on the off chance she wanted to collaborate, and we've done a few things together since. [pauses] Oh, that's funny, she just texted me. [laughs] We ended up doing shows together and events at the Hackney Chinese Community Centre here in London, on Cantonese translations for songs, and a whole bunch of other stuff. She's become a very dear friend of mine. I really wanted to work with her on [an original] song, which is why she was one of the people I wanted on this album. She's got such a nice voice as well.

Miss Grit is someone I met [two years ago.] I loved their guitar playing. We just got chatting, and it was great to collaborate. These artists, I didn't directly pursue them to work with, but when I was writing this album, there would be some songs I had in mind for collaboration, and certain artists made sense for what I felt the song needed. Pickle Darling, we're on the same label, and I love their whole sound and delivery.

SILY: Did the lyrics or the concepts come before the instrumentation?

EL: Usually, in my music, the instrumentation comes first and lyrics after. I sort of tend to write based on a feeling and how that feels on an instrument. I'm actually not very good with words in general. I find it easier to translate what I'm trying to create with music as opposed to words.

SILY: Throughout the record, there's such an interplay between what you're saying and what the song's about, and the way the songs are constructed. You play a lot with tempo, and I feel like it's somewhere between thrilling and disorienting. It's a very effective contrast to the songs. Was that intentional?

EL: There's definitely a relationship. The music is based on a certain feeling or message I'm trying to portray, and the words come together and arrive gradually. Sometimes, they come to me much quicker than others. It takes a bit more time with lyrics [for me.]

SILY: Is the title "telephone congee" named after the term that suggests it should take the length of a phone call to cook congee?

EL: It's actually to do with the length of time you're on the phone, if you're talking too long, you're boiling congee. My mom and aunt would be on the phone for ages, and my dad would be like, "You're talking so much, it's like telephone congee." It's quite colloquial, but it means you're on the phone too much.

SILY: Are the two "telephone congee" interludes plus the final track, "扮豬食老虎", all sampled vocals from your family?

EL: That's my mom speaking Cantonese. She was also on the first album as well. I need to stop getting my family to do stuff. [laughs]

SILY: They've been on everything, right?

EL: Yeah. Even the first EP. My niece and nephew were on [a record], and my dad was on the first record. It's been a nice way for me to do something with them. They're quite far away. My parents are in Hong Kong, and my sister and brother are spread out. Growing up, music wasn't that encouraged. [My parents] encouraged piano lessons and to learn classical music, but not as a career. They must have gotten around to the idea that music is more than a hobby. It's kind of like letting them in to my world, having them send me voice notes or sing on stuff.

SILY: Do they know the voice notes they send are going to be used on your music?

EL: They do, but sometimes, my mom will send me a voice note, and I'll ask, "Can I put this on a song?" and she won't really know what it's for.

SILY: Can you tell me about the album art?

EL: The album art was done by a friend who calls herself Waffle Burger. She's a great artist, a painter. She does these incredible apocalyptic paintings that have this kind of eerie but cute element to them. I felt like that's how my music feels like at times. I like things that are juxtaposing. I actually bought one of her small paintings. We were chatting more when we were working on this album, and I thought of her to do it, and she was receptive. We discussed what sort of vibe it would be, and I picked out things I liked in her work. Her understanding on the album was translated into this strange cave with these creatures. I didn't ask her to, but my cat's in it, in the little picture frame.

SILY: Are you the type of artist always writing songs, or do you have to set aside time to do it?

EL: I wish I could be someone who's just constantly creating, but I'm someone who has to set aside time to focus on it. I noodle on guitar quite a bit, but when it comes to writing, I have to set aside time.

SILY: Is there anything you've been listening to, watching, or reading lately that's caught your attention?

EL: Recently, I've been listening to a lot of Sun Ra and Xiu Xiu. I went to see MaXXXine at the cinema. I enjoyed that; that was fun. Me and my friends have been watching a lot of horror movies. I watched Scanners and loved it and re-watched The Wicker Man, one of my favorite films--the 1973 version, not the Nicolas Cage one. I watched some interesting horror films my friend was keen on seeing, like Paranormal Activity 2--my friends were having a [marathon], and I joined for the 2nd. It's not something I normally watch. I think they watched all 7? I didn't even know there were 7 Paranormal Activity [films.] I've been listening to The Blindboy Podcast.

Tour dates

2/24: El Cid, Los Angeles, CA

2/27: Public Records, Brooklyn, NY

3/1: Wavelength Winter Festival, Toronto, Canada

3/29, Far East Film Festival. Udine, Italy

[thelondonpedestrian]

Book Review: Severance by Ling Ma

Severance treads a very fine line between apocalyptic pandemic thriller and marginally infuriating over introspective memoir. While I was perhaps hoping for more of one than the other, I'm not sure how well either delivered for me.

The prologue has a strong start with "After the end came the beginning. And in the beginning there were eight of us, then nine - that was me...".

All books need a great opening sentence and this was a good one. As it stands, I was expecting much more exploration into the themes and survival of the characters trying to live with the incurable mysterious" Shen virus" pandemic than I felt actually came across. The novel boasts 26 chapters and 291 pages and sadly it felt like only very few of these actually addressed the present day issue of protagonist Candace Chen's new life as one of very few virus survivors. The reader is offered few glimpses into how Chen faces her present day adversity with fitting into a small group of "non-fevered" individuals, who are slowly picking their way across America to settle down at the "facility" - a place to presumably congregate and start life anew

Instead, much of the novel is devoted to Chen's memories of her arrival in America as a second generation Chinese immigrant, growing up to eventually move to New York and start a career in book production. Much of the book is given over to Chen's grief and loneliness regarding her deceased parents and their motivations for moving to America, Chen's frustration with her ex boyfriend for deciding to leave New York while she wants to stay, Chen's perceived inability to fit in with her peers despite being able to seduce multiple men on multiple occasions (I don't have a problem with this, it just doesn't scan with the not-fitting-in aspect), and Chen's lack of motivation as to why she wants to work at her job- largely boiling down to the last request of her dying mother being "make yourself useful"

I found author Ling Ma's writing incredibly compelling, which is how I managed to finish the book in one 8 hour sitting, but closed the book feeling generally quite annoyed at Chen for making the choices that she did up until the final chapter. It is strange when a page-turning book houses an irritating protagonist. Hate-reading is far too strong a term for this, but perhaps mildly-irritated-reading works better. I did read all of this during a sick day and really had nothing better to do while resting, so I guess that played a part.

Ling Ma spends an awful lot of this book reeling out pages and pages of description regarding the intricacies of specific Bible book production in East asia and endless lists of branded shopping boutiques and the products that lie within in. This creates a personality for Chen that feels hollow and kind of boring. Chen comes across as not even caring much about any of these things in her own life and yet they become such a seminal part of the book. It is reminiscent for me of American Psycho and the dirging monologues of Patrick Bateman's endless skincare and workout regime. Perhaps it is a commentary on late stage capitalism meant to strike a chord with the millennial audience?

I do appreciate that the Shen Fever virus described in the book has symptoms of repeating mindless tasks with a blank stare in its earlier stages, which I guess is meant to draw parallels with the protagonist. However it felt like Ma was trying to jam it down my throat way too much. It seems that Ma wanted to present Chen as this introspective, independent soon-to-be single mother who would make her choices on her own terms but instead it fell flat. More and more Chen felt to me like a very clichéd, lone wolf, nobody-understands-me moody selfish twenty something. Instead of telling her ex boyfriend at their last meeting that she is a) pregnant and B) the baby is his, she opts to conceal this information and push him away until he eventually disappears. Nowhere in the book does it give any indication that Jonathan (ex boyfriend) deserves this kind of treatment. They break up because he wants to leave new York and she doesn't. She refuses to tell him about the baby because... Well. I don't really understand why. That's it. Choosing to give birth and raise a baby in the middle of a world-ending pandemic by yourself over opting to stick it out for a while with someone you at least know and trust feels like a very weird, not entirely well informed decision to me.

I also couldn't get beyond how Severance feels very much like parts of The Stand written for a modern audience and with less words. Perhaps this is an homage to Stephen King? Particular parallels can be drawn with Chen inevitably having to get out of New York by herself, walking, while pregnant and facing down a pontentially perilous journey through the Lincoln Tunnel. Furthermore the group of survivors she meets has a self-appointed leader who is very Christian-religious focused. Admittedly none of them dream that a wise old lady servant of God is leading them to salvation, but the religious leading element is a strong focus.

All in all, I wish that this book had some more editing. I wanted to know more about the group dynamics of the survivors and how their relationships develop and splinter. I wanted to know less about bible production, beauty products and the capitalist hellscape we're all forced to endure every day. Hell, even if Chen herself became sick at the end, that would have made the beginning make a lot more sense to me.

Would I recommend? Eh. Maybe. If you need to kill 8 hours while holed up in bed with a bad back, sure. If you want character depth and a genuinely original take on an old theme? Maybe not.

[scrawnytreedemon]

Ooh, how about Hojo for the ask meme?

OHOOOO, I HAVE A L O T TO SAY, BABY-- Especially after seeing that final showdown, oh boy.

(hfhdkjfhjkj sorry for this being late!! had many thinsg to do <33)

For context, I know jack-shit about Dirge of Cerbeus, and I’d rather it stay that way. Vee has scarred me enough with her recollections from the wiki alone, and unless we finally do that shit-movie night we’ve been meaning to for awhile, I’m not touching it with a ten foot pole.

First impression: Horrible rat man; nasty. Your run of the mill Mad Scientist except somehow Even Worse. Perhaps a little generic at times. Pervy fuck. Probably has a bunch of obscenely lewd magazines in his study. Fuck him for fucking over absolutely everyone that’s gotten within ten metres of him. This guy fucks, and that’s how we got Sephiroth. -1/10, Worst Scientist, Husband and Father of the Year.

Impression now: I... I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I like him now, unironically. You win, Hojo Fuckers. Seeing that scene at the control panel, I think that man’s genuinely depressed-- Like, ‘I’ve devoted my entire life to my work to numb the pain but now I’ve realised it’s all for nothing and it’s fucking useless and I’m fucking useless and there’s nothing for me to do other than sacrifice myself for my son, who fucking hates me.‘ Like... Jesus Christ, I did not expect him to be so self-aware. He’s still a downright horrendous person and many of the things he’s done, if I believed in such a mindset, are downright irredeemable. Basically, I actually like his character now-- full-on -- even if he’s still a right bell-end.

Favorite moment: The rooftop scene. Jesus Christ, man, that changed my whole view on him. The way he’s actually becoming aware of how wrong he was, and how it weighs on his mind-- How, almost absently, as if he’s saying it more to himself, he tells Cloud he should become a scientist. It’s a small thing... But it speaks to a level of respect I don’t think Hojo has had for anyone in a very long time. He’s been brought to his limit, willing to give anything and everything so that the one thing he’s done right, his son who he gave up to further his now-dead career, succeeds in world-annihilation. What really gets me is that moment in the fight, where you’ve ended the first phase, when he says, apathetically, how he hopes the Mako juice is going-- And then he turns into a monster. This horrendous, twisted thing that’s barely held together by skin and sinew-- Probably one of the most downright-horrifying things in this entire game --And it’s just... like... wow... he broke.

Idea for a story: A fic where him and Sephiroth actually try and make amends. I’ve seen this guy killed off-screen so many times, and everytime, I am deeply disappointed. I get it. Hojo’s probably the worst character in the game. He has no morals and no boundaries, and he’s irritating as fuck-- I get it --But he’s also the reason all of this shit has happened, and is such a vital character in the forming of the story, in Sephiroth’s specifically, that I want him to be done justice. I want to see one of them reach out to the other, and slowly, bit, by bit, by agonising bit piece together something vaguely resembling a foundation for their relationship. I want to see them reminisce over the few good times they had together, and address deeply the many, many bad ones. It’ll be painful, and there will be many bumps in the road where they’ll feel like there isn’t even a point to this shit, and yet push on despite that. Because despite everything, they are family-- And not because they are obligated to, but because they’re choosing to. I want to see that. I really do. I’ll probably write it myself.

Unpopular opinion: I think my newfound appreciation of him in general, lmao. I won’t get into the paternity debate, as I’ve addressed that in Vincent’s post and another one. Perhaps the fact that I think it’s stupid that the scientists in FFVII get referred to by their first names-- Like, who does this shit??? Who out here thinks Hojo sounds like a first name??? It’s just... Really unprofessional and I don’t think Hojo is comfortable enough with anyone to just have them call him by his first name. Also Dr. Faremis Gast sounds better than Dr. Gast Faremis. I know it’s a pun in Japanese but I don’t give a shit. Fight me.

Favorite relationship: Him and Sephiroth, because there’s just, alot of shit. I don’t think he was ever truly close enough to Lucrecia for me to get invested-- It’s clear the relationship, though while initially stable and they probably got along well, was one mostly of work --And I don’t think there’s anyone else close enough to Hojo’s character to serve as another option, either. Maybe Vincent, but again, that was through Lucrecia. Seph and Hojo have this dynamic where strained doesn’t even begin to describe it. Hojo thinks Seph doesn’t know and Seph thinks Hojo doesn’t know that he knows-- And it’s painfully clear that had it not been for Hojo, Sephiroth wouldn’t have been so unstable. There was alot of abuse, physical and psychological, that got framed as ‘work,’ and it’s undoubtebly fucked with Seph’s very concept of ownership, and who owns another. It’s clear that on some level, Hojo feels shame for what he’s done-- Not guilt, shame --And is unwilling to let the boy(and perhaps even himself) from knowing his true parentage. Part of it’s definitely spite for Lucrecia, but there’s more. I could go one for hours, honest to god, so like, feel free to tack on your own ideas, fellow trash conoisseurs.

Favorite headcanon: Him being Wutaian. Not sure if it’s entirely headcanon, but like, it really is ironic. I personally think his family moved to Midgar while he was still young-- Perhaps due to a faction split -- so he grew up on the Eastern Continent, so he was stuck in this weird middle space alot of immigrant or descended from immigrants children where on one hand, you’ve got your family’s legacy, and you probably, if not fluently, speak their native tongue and carry out their traditions, and on the other hand you’ve grown up with people who’ve been here for generations and inevitably get moulded by their ways and their customs, perhaps to the point you’re more culturally theirs than your native land’s. If we’re going with the faction split, I think Hojo leans hard into the latter, out of a deep-seated indignance. Maybe his family were fairly influential, before they had to move to what was, no doubt, a less than idyllic neighbourhood. I think part of what made him want to become a scientist was that need to regain that honour, that dignity-- It’s very self-centred, and clearly didn’t work out.

Thank you Vee as always-- You incredible bastard --For both asking and also rambling with me about this grease-weasel for like, a good long time.

Knowing my luck I just might’ve gotten another hyperfixation. A terrible one. Fuck.

And to anyone who’s read this far, thank you! As always, feel free to throw in your own thoughts, whether they be replies or reblogs. I’m curious to know what the general vibe is about him(other than Haha Stinky Goblin Rat), as I don’t think he’s talked about all that much? Maybe I’m looking in the wrong places.

Anyhow Hojo Fuckers, I owe you a beer. Not a good one, probably tastes of piss, but knowing you lot, that’s probably just fine, lmaooooooo. Keep up the ungodly work <3

[passionate-reply]

This week on Great Albums: one of my favourite “hidden gems” of the mid-1980s, Blancmange’s *Mange Tout* is about as extra and in-your-face as it gets, full of dense arrangements, gender-bending bombast, and musical instruments from Southern Asia.

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! This time around, I’ll be taking a look at one of my favourite hidden gems from the mid-1980s, the sophomore LP of Blancmange, entitled Mange Tout.

Despite their relative obscurity today, particularly in comparison to many of their contemporaries, Blancmange weren’t total strangers to the pop charts. Their first full-length LP, 1982’s Happy Families, would yield the biggest hit of their career: “Living on the Ceiling,” which peaked at #7.

Music: “Living on the Ceiling”

While it never got to be a chart-topper, “Living on the Ceiling” is still an unforgettable track in its own ways. Perhaps its most distinctive feature is its use of the traditional Indian instruments, the sitar and tabla. While 80s synth-pop is certainly full of Orientalism, most of the references you’ll find are pointing to the Far East, and the perceived aesthetic sophistication and techno-utopian futurism of China and Japan. Aside from certain works of Bill Nelson, Blancmange were pretty much the only ones engaging with South Asian musical themes. Blancmange’s instrumentalist, Stephen Luscombe, grew up in London’s Southall neighbourhood, which had a high population of immigrants from Southern Asia, which led him to a lifelong interest in Indian music. Combined with electronics, it makes for a totally unique sound, which ends up sounding better in practice than it might in theory.

While any time White European musicians turn to alternative cultures as artistic tools, there’s a valid cause for some degree of criticism and concern, there’s also an artsy, left-field un-hipness about Blancmange, who seemingly drew from Indian music not only alone, but purely for sonic enjoyment. Unlike the exotic fantasies spun by groups like Japan, none of Blancmange’s songs seem propelled by any specific idea or ideology about India, but rather seem to tackle common pop themes of love and heartbreak against a seemingly *non sequitur* musical backdrop. While we, as listeners, might have strong associations with particular sounds, this is ultimately more cultural than innate, and there’s really no reason why a composition with Indian instruments must revolve around some theme of “Indian-ness”; it isn’t like people in India don’t also fall in love. However you feel about these influences, the role of Indian instruments is only increased on Mange Tout, where they appear on multiple tracks, including the album’s most successful single, “Don’t Tel Me.”

Music: “Don’t Tell Me”

On Mange Tout tracks like “Don’t Tell Me,” not only do the instruments return, but so do the session musicians who had performed on “Living on the Ceiling”: Deepak Khazanchi, on sitar, and Pandit Dinesh, on the percussion instruments tabla and madal. “Don’t Tell Me” is a track with a lot of pop appeal, lightweight and singable, which makes it a bit surprising that it was actually the final single released from the album. It certainly impresses me that Blancmange managed to create such bubbly and finely tuned pop, given that neither of their core members came from any formal or technical background: Luscombe had had a history in avant-garde music ensembles, and vocalist Neil Arthur became interested in music via the DIY culture of punk. Their first-ever release, the 1980 EP Irene & Mavis, sounds more like Throbbing Gristle than Culture Club, but they somehow managed to arrive at something quite sweet and palatable in the end. That said, it’s also possible for sweet to eventually become too sweet--and this line is provoked on the album’s divisive second single, “That’s Love, That It Is.”

Music: “That’s Love, That It Is”

In contrast to the lighter “Don’t Tell Me,” “That’s Love, That It Is” is utterly bombastic, with a vicious intensity. The instrumentation and production style is dense to the point of being borderline overwhelming. By this point in his life, Stephen Luscombe had recently discovered that he was gay, and his time spent in nightclubs that catered to the gay community provided another pillar of Blancmange’s signature sound: the influence of the queer disco tradition, which is almost certainly the source of this tightly-packed instrumental arrangement style. Blancmange never seem to be mentioned in the same breath as other stars of queer synth-pop like Bronski Beat, Soft Cell, and the Pet Shop Boys, presumably due to the combination of their overall obscurity and the fact that Luscombe was never the face of their band, but I see no reason not to include them in the same pantheon of camp. Speaking of queerness, it’s also worth noting how Blancmange played with gender, particularly on their cover of “The Day Before You Came.”

Music: “The Day Before You Came”

A solid eight years before Erasure’s iconic Abba-Esque, Blancmange offered their own interpretation of an ABBA classic with “The Day Before You Came.” In their hands, it’s a languid dirge, and a meditation on quotidian miseries for which the titular event seems to offer little respite. The unchanged lyrics, portraying the narrator working in an office and watching soap operas at night, are subtly feminine-coded, but the deep and unmistakably masculine voice of vocalist Neil Arthur seems to muddle those connotations. While it is a cover, I’m tempted to sort it into the same tradition as Soft Cell’s “Bedsitter” and the Pet Shop Boys’ “Left To My Own Devices,” as a work which musically elevates the everyday life of a campily self-obsessed character to the sort of melodrama the narrator perceives it to have.

I’ve spent a lot of time praising the instrumental side of their music so far, but it’s also true that Blancmange wouldn’t be Blancmange without Arthur’s contributions. The presence of his rough and untrained voice, with the added gruffness of a Northern accent, draws a line between these tracks and a typical pop production, and he sells us quite successfully on the gloomy, ominous feeling of tracks like “The Day Before You Came” and the album’s lead single, “Blind Vision.”

Music: “Blind Vision”

On the cover of Mange Tout, we find an assortment of seemingly unrelated items, which form a sort of graphic wunderkammer against a pale beige backdrop. Perhaps the best theme that could be assigned to them is that of travel--we see several means of transportation, such as a boat, a motorbike, and an airplane flying above a map, as well as items that can be taken as symbols of exotic locales, such as a North American cactus, and an elephant and Zulu nguni shield from Africa. Only the harp is clearly evocative of music itself--and this instrument won’t even be found on the album! The album’s title, “Mange Tout,” suggests that we are getting “full” Blancmange, or “all of” Blancmange. Taken together, the cover and title seem to imply that this album is stuffed to the brim, and contains a whole world of musical ideas. I would definitely agree that that’s a major motif of the album: it’s audacious, explosive, and free-wheeling. It very much feels like an album that was put together on the back of a first initial success, with a pumped-up budget and bold creative vision, and hence pulls no punches. Perhaps the most compelling feature of Mange Tout, and the primary reason I recommend this album so highly, is its unbridled enthusiasm for what it’s doing. Even in its ostensibly experimental moments, Mange Tout feels not like an album that is “trying” something, but rather one that boldly and assuredly proclaims the things it does, and embraces a kind of “more is more” maximalism.

In hindsight, it’s easy to see Mange Tout as the creative as well as commercial peak of Blancmange’s career. Their follow-up release, 1985’s Believe You Me, is far from the worst album I’ve ever heard, but it definitely doesn’t feel quite the same as the “classic” Blancmange works, adopting a more middle-of-the-road, radio-friendly synth-pop direction, with less of the South Asian influences and experimentation that really set them apart in the saturated synth-pop landscape. While not a work devoid of merit, Believe You Me was a relative commercial dud, and the duo would split soon after, chiefly citing personal and creative differences--though they did have a brief reunion in the early 2010s.

Music: “Lose Your Love”

My favourite track on Mange Tout is “All Things Are Nice,” which, alongside the neo-doo-wop “See the Train,” would be classed as one of the more experimental tracks on the album. Full of tension, “All Things Are Nice” alternates between eerily whispering vocals from Arthur, and a variety of samples from other media--which was still a relatively cutting-edge technique for the time. “All Things Are Nice” is almost certainly the most conceptual track on the album: as samples discuss world war, and Arthur whispers that “we can’t keep up with it,” the song is probably to be interpreted as a commentary on the runaway nature of technology and so-called “progress” in the modern age. The titular assertion that “all things are nice” seems to be ironic--or perhaps it embodies a sheer love of chaos and unpredictability, for their own sake, which would certainly fit the album’s mood. It also feels like it might be a sort of defense of the album itself: like I said, *Mange Tout* is serving us “all of Blancmange,” and isn’t it fun to get to have all of something? That’s everything for today--as always, thanks for listening!

Music: “All Things Are Nice”

[arcticdementor]

Describing Dashiell Hammett’s noir detective character The Continental Op, literary critic Steven Marcus inadvertently captures the reactionary. Both detective and reactionary emerge from profoundly disordered societies. Their gut tells them something is amiss, that their circumstances are fundamentally unsatisfying. Each finds himself waking up to a world of falsehoods, where natural inclinations are everywhere subverted, where human flourishing is derailed or destroyed, and where truth is buried under mounds of error. With little to nothing left to ‘conserve’, the reactionary becomes a deconstructionist, a detective, stripping away contemporary liberalism’s false legitimations.

There are several branches of reactionary thought, but most if not all share at the core an antipathy for the money-power, a sacral understanding of culture, affinity for hierarchy, and some degree of hero-worship. These threads persist regardless of any particular riffs or permutations. The reactionary, through churchism, nationalism, vitalism, traditionalism, or some combination thereof, struggles against liberal nihilism, the deracination of romantic visions and immaterial goods. In short, reaction rejects the myth of Progress.

…

Modern decadence rarely takes the form of lavish balls or orgiastic retreats. Instead, it is characterized by exhaustion, the desocialization of pleasure and thrill, anhedonia. Late cartographer of capitalism Mark Fisher describes the latter vividly as “the soft narcosis, the simstim eternity, the comfort food oblivion of Playstation, all-night TV and marijuana.” All forms of fulfillment eternally forestalled by gluttony, onanism, and the general inability to disconnect from our ever-present digital dopamine drip. Contemporary reaction, then, often originates as a backlash against passivity, consumerism, sterility, physical weakness, and all the other rotten fruits of disenchantment.

…

While it is no doubt true that many past eras surpassed our own in virtue, beauty, and spirituality, it is impossible to return to the same set of social, economic, and technological conditions that shaped the past. A Bushism summarizes the issue well: “I think we can agree, the past is over.” The challenge, then, is to fashion a society out of postmodern clay, in which natural virtues again flourish. The reactionary mind must attune itself to the particular ailments, conditions, and advantages of postmodernity. 

…

Until very recently, this was an apt description of the Western world. But as liberalism works itself pure and intersectionality marches through the institutions, it also reintroduces the West to metanarrative. From the Enlightenment’s murder of myth, through to the Enlightenment’s death, we have arrived again at an era of myth. As the United States continues its transformation into an ideological state premised on gender gnosticism, anti-whiteness, and anti-nationalism, liberalism’s hyper-moralism becomes clearer.

Today, the West is returning to the political as such, to a state of polemos, the social warfare that punishes, purges, and partitions. Yet the regime’s tendency toward anarcho-tyranny, as well as postmodernity’s general liquidity and chaos, lends extra potency to reaction’s promises of order, beauty, and the sacrosanct. These developments are a great boon to reaction. Politicization is a preferable outcome for the reactionary, and one step closer to the outright conflict necessary to effect social rejuvenation.

…

With normalcy demonized at every turn, the West finds itself in another Prohibition era. The person who honors his ancestors, obeys God, and admires traditional mores participates in “collaborative illegality.” Societies of illegality, where day-to-day life becomes a radical state of affairs, are fertile ground for reaction. Confrontation is everywhere preferable to obfuscation. If, as detectives, reactionaries are emergent byproducts of decline, then we should expect them to proliferate as decline accelerates and the spirit of polemos enlarges.

…

The scuttled America First Caucus recently proclaimed America as “a nation with a border, and a culture, strengthened by a common respect for uniquely Anglo-Saxon political traditions,” and decried mass migrations disruption and disintegration. The media backlash to the term ‘Ango-Saxon’ was both predictable and educational. America, as it was perceived by the Founders and most subsequent generations, no longer exists.

The Confederates are clarifying here. If we considered the United States as an Anglo-Saxon civilization, which incorporated other ethnic groups into this civilizational fabric, the Civil War was a tragic conflict between kin. If being American means identifying with a vacuous, chimeric liberalism, then the Civil War was an existential battle between the supposedly chthonic horror of racism and the ever-perfected march of reason. This is exactly how the ruling elite perceives the United States: a polity on an ideological mission to liberate the world, whatever form that liberation may take in each succeeding generation. America’s refusal or inability to recover a moderate and reasonable ethnos is nothing less than suicidal. If immigration continues and there is no American identity aside from vapid cosmopolitanism, the money-power will continue its disintegration and rulership over the United States.

A bleak portrait, perhaps. But so is a crime only halfway solved. As a detective continues his investigation, to be called on amid a crumbling society of illegality, so does the reactionary continue forward. He is often the fortunate benefactor of Providence, that sublime knife which eternally slips loose Gordian knots. The Gracchi brothers’ assassinations by the optimates and their mob paved the way for Caesar; Jacobin excess unwittingly opened Fontainebleau’s doors to Napoleon, and Europe’s midcentury dirge kept Iberia under reactionary rule until the third Christian millennium. If Buchanan began transforming American conservatives into reactionaries, and Trump made reaction politically viable — if even for a moment — we can reasonably hope reaction will maintain its historical relationship with decline, and be nourished by decay.

…

With that and all the above in mind, we may sketch a vision for an Occident shaped by reaction. As with reaction generally, it will be a romantic vision. After liberalism’s society of illegality inevitably buckles under its own weight, the regime’s simultaneous reaction emerges triumphant. The inevitable degeneration of republics into oligarchies reaches its climax: the ‘one and the many’, king and peasantry, president and people, triumph over ‘the few’, optimates, oligarchs, regime Brahmans, and the like. Porous borders are shut, capital is disciplined and reordered to serve national rather than global, financial interests. Liberalism’s atomization buffet is shut down for good, the policies and laws that annihilated the family are overturned, gender is reembodied, and voluntary infertility is a dwindling artifact, a bygone object of derision. The past, which Fisher calls “forever lost and forever insistent,” is insisted upon, and revitalized through new modes of government, old sacraments, and the erection of monuments that honor the past and promise the future.

If this sounds fanciful, it’s because it is. No clarion call to ‘build’ can make the path any straighter or the course any clearer. What reactionaries may take solace in, however, is the organic nature of human societies, the predictable decline and rejuvenation of civilization as superorganism, history’s countless overthrows and about-faces. When it happens, it will seem as if it couldn’t have happened any other way. Georges Sorel speaks to this through Vincent Garton’s translation, prophesying: “We would very much need a Mongol conquest to effect the rebirth of great art, today enslaved to the barbarian tastes of the plutocracy.” Accordingly, only terminal decline produces successful reaction.

A reactionary West will emerge from the same organic historical process that has carried reaction to power again and again: the Hamiltonian battle between, on one side, ‘the one and the many’, and on the other, ‘the few’, from revitalized conceptions of ethnos, thymos, and telos. In the vain hope of identifying and reestablishing a timeless and just social order, the Western Man today must dig through refuse and rubble and investigate the gleaming scraps and trinkets he finds underneath. He must do as the noir detective does — live within and struggle against the society of illegality, case by case, until there are no more crimes to be solved, no deconstruction and reconstruction to be undertaken. He must exist as something ‘natural’, beyond reason and beneath society, so that when the time comes, when Providence cuts the Gordian knot, he will be ready to lend his labor to monuments that honor the West’s past and promise its future.

[armandismed]

Recommendations for Social Sciences Literature:

So as a recently graduated law student and lawyer (as well as being affected by many areas of intersectionality related below), I’ve been really into studying the social sciences and how society reflects how it treats the least of its citizens. My friend suggested that I draw up a list of recommendations for her, and share it with others as well. 

While my interest in these books might begin in how to consider the perspectives of others and consolidate my own point of view when representing a client, I can safely reassure you all that these are (for the most part) layperson books that I read in my spare time; not ridiculous legal dirges that will put you to sleep. All these books were spectacularly engaging for me, and I’d recommend them highly.

I’d also  like to preface this list with the fact that I educate myself on books that consider intersectionality and how the experiences of individual subsections of society affect society as a whole and an individual’s position in them. While as a result of the topics themselves these books often consider bigotry and sensitive issues/topics, they are academic considerations of societal constructs and demographics (as well as the history that grows from oppression of certain subsections of society), and attempt to be balanced academic/philosophical narratives. Therefore, while difficult topics might be broached (such as, for example, the discrimination transexual women face in being considered ‘women’), none that I have read would ever be intentionally insulting/ extremist in their views, and many are written by scholars and academics directly affected by these issues. Just research these books before purchasing them, is all I ask; for your own self-care. ♥

That being said, I have divided these recommendations into several areas of study. I will also mark when there is a decided crossover of intersectionality, for your benefit:

Feminist Theory: Mostly concerned with the limitation of womens emotions, the experience of women within Trump’s America, and the idealised liberation of women in 1960s, with a particular focus on the UK and ‘swinging’ London.

Disability Theory: Academic Ableism in post-educational facilities and within the immigration process.

Black Theory: This includes the relations between colonialism and the oppressed individual’s underneath its weight, the struggle through American’s history through ‘white rage’ towards the success of African-American success, and a sad history of racial ‘passing’ in America.

Immigration Theory: This mostly focuses on the experience of the disabled and Southern/Eastern Europeans/ Jewish people entering both Canada and the United States. It also provides this background to the immigration policies against a backdrop of social eugenics. I also included a book on the UK history of the workhouse in this category, as immigrants were often disproportionately affected by poverty once arriving in the UK/England, and often had to seek shelter in such ‘establishments.’

LGBT+ Social Theory/History: The history of transsexualism and the development of transexual rights throughout history.

Canadian Indigenous Theory/History: A history of the movements between the Indigenous peoples of North America and colonialists, as well as a two-part series on Canada’s Indian Act and Reconciliation (’Legalise’ aside in its consideration of the Indian Act, these are fantastic for the layperson to understand the effect such a document has had on the modern day issues and abuse of Indigenous people in Canada in particular, as well as how non-Indigenous people may work actively towards reconciliation in the future).

Toxic Masculinity: Angry White Men essentially tries to explain the unexplainable; namely, why there has been such a rise of the racist and sexist white American male, that eventually culminated in the election of Donald Trump (However, this really rings true for any ‘angry white men’ resulting from the rise of the far right across Europe and beyond). It is based on the idea of "aggrieved entitlement": a sense that those benefits that white men believed were their due have been snatched away from them by THE REST OF US~~~. While good, also just really expect to be mad (not in particular at the poor sociologist studying this and analysing this phenomenon, as he tries to be even-handed, but that such a thing exists at all).

1. Feminist Theory:

Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger: 

As women, we’ve been urged for so long to bottle up our anger, letting it corrode our bodies and minds in ways we don’t even realize. Yet there are so, so many legitimate reasons for us to feel angry, ranging from blatant, horrifying acts of misogyny to the subtle drip, drip drip of daily sexism that reinforces the absurdly damaging gender norms of our society. In Rage Becomes Her, Soraya Chemaly argues that our anger is not only justified, it is also an active part of the solution. We are so often encouraged to resist our rage or punished for justifiably expressing it, yet how many remarkable achievements would never have gotten off the ground without the kernel of anger that fueled them? Approached with conscious intention, anger is a vital instrument, a radar for injustice and a catalyst for change. On the flip side, the societal and cultural belittlement of our anger is a cunning way of limiting and controlling our power—one we can no longer abide.

Nasty Women: Feminism, Resistance, and Revolution in Trump's America: 

Nasty Women includes inspiring essays from a diverse group of talented women writers who seek to provide a broad look at how we got here and what we need to do to move forward.Featuring essays by REBECCA SOLNIT on Trump and his “misogyny army,” CHERYL STRAYED on grappling with the aftermath of Hillary Clinton’s loss, SARAH HEPOLA on resisting the urge to drink after the election, NICOLE CHUNG on family and friends who support Trump, KATHA POLLITT on the state of reproductive rights and what we do next, JILL FILIPOVIC on Trump’s policies and the life of a young woman in West Africa, SAMANTHA IRBY on racism and living as a queer black woman in rural America, RANDA JARRAR on traveling across the country as a queer Muslim American, SARAH HOLLENBECK on Trump’s cruelty toward the disabled, MEREDITH TALUSAN on feminism and the transgender community, and SARAH JAFFE on the labor movement and active and effective resistance, among others.

(A heavy focus on intersectionality ♥)

The Feminine Revolution: 21 Ways to Ignite the Power of Your Femininity for a Brighter Life and a Better World: 

Challenging old and outdated perceptions that feminine traits are weaknesses, The Feminine Revolution revisits those characteristics to show how they are powerful assets that should be embraced rather than maligned. It argues that feminine traits have been mischaracterized as weak, fragile, diminutive, and embittered for too long, and offers a call to arms to redeem them as the superpowers and gifts that they are.The authors, Amy Stanton and Catherine Connors, begin with a brief history of when-and-why these traits were defined as weaknesses, sharing opinions from iconic females including Marianne Williamson and Cindy Crawford. Then they offer a set of feminine principles that challenge current perceptions of feminine traits, while providing women new mindsets to reclaim those traits with confidence. 

How Was It For You?: Women, Sex, Love and Power in the 1960s:

The sexual revolution liberated a generation. But men most of all.

We tend to think of the 60s as a decade sprinkled with stardust: a time of space travel and utopian dreams, but above all of sexual abandonment. When the pill was introduced on the NHS in 1961 it seemed, for the first time, that women - like men - could try without buying.

But this book - by 'one of the great social historians of our time' - describes a turbulent power struggle.

Here are the voices from the battleground. Meet dollybird Mavis, debutante Kristina, Beryl who sang with the Beatles, bunny girl Patsy, Christian student Anthea, industrial campaigner Mary and countercultural Caroline. From Carnaby Street to Merseyside, from mods to rockers, from white gloves to Black is Beautiful, their stories throw an unsparing spotlight on morals, four-letter words, faith, drugs, race, bomb culture and sex.

This is a moving, shocking book about tearing up the world and starting again. It's about peace, love, psychedelia and strange pleasures, but it is also about misogyny, violation and discrimination - half a century before feminism rebranded. For out of the swamp of gropers and groupies, a movement was emerging, and discovering a new cause: equality.

The 1960s: this was where it all began. Women would never be the same again.

2. Disability Theory:

Academic Ableism: Disability and Higher Education: 

Academic Ableism brings together disability studies and institutional critique to recognize the ways that disability is composed in and by higher education, and rewrites the spaces, times, and economies of disability in higher education to place disability front and center. For too long, argues Jay Timothy Dolmage, disability has been constructed as the antithesis of higher education, often positioned as a distraction, a drain, a problem to be solved. The ethic of higher education encourages students and teachers alike to accentuate ability, valorize perfection, and stigmatize anything that hints at intellectual, mental, or physical weakness, even as we gesture toward the value of diversity and innovation. Examining everything from campus accommodation processes, to architecture, to popular films about college life, Dolmage argues that disability is central to higher education, and that building more inclusive schools allows better education for all.

(See immigration below for another book by this author on the intersection between immigration policy and disability).

3. Black Theory:

Black Skin, White Masks by Frantz Fanon: 

A major influence on civil rights, anti-colonial, and black consciousness movements around the world, Black Skin, White Masks is the unsurpassed study of the black psyche in a white world. Hailed for its scientific analysis and poetic grace when it was first published in 1952, the book remains a vital force today from one of the most important theorists of revolutionary struggle, colonialism, and racial difference in history.

White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism: 

Referring to the defensive moves that white people make when challenged racially, white fragility is characterized by emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt, and by behaviors including argumentation and silence. These behaviors, in turn, function to reinstate white racial equilibrium and prevent any meaningful cross-racial dialogue. In this in-depth exploration, the author examines how white fragility develops, how it protects racial inequality, and what we can do to engage more constructively.

White Rage: The Unspoken Truth of Our Racial Divide: 

From the Civil War to our combustible present, and now with a new epilogue about the 2016 presidential election, acclaimed historian Carol Anderson reframes our continuing conversation about race. White Rage chronicles the powerful forces opposed to black progress in America. As Ferguson, Missouri, erupted in August 2014, and media commentators across the ideological spectrum referred to the angry response of African Americans as “black rage,” historian Carol Anderson wrote a remarkable op-ed in the Washington Post showing that this was, instead, “white rage at work. With so much attention on the flames,” she writes, “everyone had ignored the kindling.”Since 1865 and the passage of the Thirteenth Amendment, every time African Americans have made advances towards full participation in our democracy, white reaction has fueled a deliberate and relentless rollback of their gains. The end of the Civil War and Reconstruction was greeted with the Black Codes and Jim Crow; the Supreme Court's landmark 1954 Brown v. Board of Education decision was met with the shutting down of public schools throughout the South while taxpayer dollars financed segregated white private schools; the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and Voting Rights Act of 1965 triggered a coded but powerful response, the so-called Southern Strategy and the War on Drugs that disenfranchised millions of African Americans while propelling presidents Nixon and Reagan into the White House.Carefully linking these and other historical flashpoints when social progress for African Americans was countered by deliberate and cleverly crafted opposition, Anderson pulls back the veil that has long covered actions made in the name of protecting democracy, fiscal responsibility, or protection against fraud, rendering visible the long lineage of white rage. Compelling and dramatic in the unimpeachable history it relates, White Rage will add an important new dimension to the national conversation about race in America.

A Chosen Exile: A History of Racial Passing in American Life:

 Between the eighteenth and mid-twentieth centuries, countless African Americans passed as white, leaving behind families and friends, roots and community. It was, as Allyson Hobbs writes, a chosen exile, a separation from one racial identity and the leap into another. This revelatory history of passing explores the possibilities and challenges that racial indeterminacy presented to men and women living in a country obsessed with racial distinctions. It also tells a tale of loss.As racial relations in America have evolved so has the significance of passing. To pass as white in the antebellum South was to escape the shackles of slavery. After emancipation, many African Americans came to regard passing as a form of betrayal, a selling of one’s birthright. When the initially hopeful period of Reconstruction proved short-lived, passing became an opportunity to defy Jim Crow and strike out on one’s own.Although black Americans who adopted white identities reaped benefits of expanded opportunity and mobility, Hobbs helps us to recognize and understand the grief, loneliness, and isolation that accompanied―and often outweighed―these rewards. By the dawning of the civil rights era, more and more racially mixed Americans felt the loss of kin and community was too much to bear, that it was time to “pass out” and embrace a black identity. Although recent decades have witnessed an increasingly multiracial society and a growing acceptance of hybridity, the problem of race and identity remains at the center of public debate and emotionally fraught personal decisions.

4. Immigration Theory:

The Guarded Gate: Bigotry, Eugenics and the Law That Kept Two Generations of Jews, Italians, and Other European Immigrants Out of America:  

A forgotten, dark chapter of American history with implications for the current day, The Guarded Gate tells the story of the scientists who argued that certain nationalities were inherently inferior, providing the intellectual justification for the harshest immigration law in American history. Brandished by the upper class Bostonians and New Yorkers—many of them progressives—who led the anti-immigration movement, the eugenic arguments helped keep hundreds of thousands of Jews, Italians, and other unwanted groups out of the US for more than 40 years.Over five years in the writing, The Guarded Gate tells the complete story from its beginning in 1895, when Henry Cabot Lodge and other Boston Brahmins launched their anti-immigrant campaign. In 1921, Vice President Calvin Coolidge declared that “biological laws” had proven the inferiority of southern and eastern Europeans; the restrictive law was enacted three years later.

Disabled Upon Arrival: Eugenics, Immigration, and the Construction of Race and Disability: 

In North America, immigration has never been about immigration. That was true in the early twentieth century when anti-immigrant rhetoric led to draconian crackdowns on the movement of bodies, and it is true today as new measures seek to construct migrants as dangerous and undesirable. This premise forms the crux of Jay Timothy Dolmage’s new book Disabled Upon Arrival: Eugenics, Immigration, and the Construction of Race and Disability, a compelling examination of the spaces, technologies, and discourses of immigration restriction during the peak period of North American immigration in the early twentieth century.Through careful archival research and consideration of the larger ideologies of racialization and xenophobia, Disabled Upon Arrival links anti-immigration rhetoric to eugenics—the flawed “science” of controlling human population based on racist and ableist ideas about bodily values. Dolmage casts an enlightening perspective on immigration restriction, showing how eugenic ideas about the value of bodies have never really gone away and revealing how such ideas and attitudes continue to cast groups and individuals as disabled upon arrival. 

The Workhouse: The People, The Places, The Life Behind Doors:

In this fully updated and revised edition of his best-selling book, Simon Fowler takes a fresh look at the workhouse and the people who sought help from it. He looks at how the system of the Poor Law - of which the workhouse was a key part - was organized and the men and women who ran the workhouses or were employed to care for the inmates. But above all this is the moving story of the tens of thousands of children, men, women and the elderly who were forced to endure grim conditions to survive in an unfeeling world. 

5. LGBT+ Social Theory/History:

Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution:

Covering American transgender history from the mid-twentieth century to today, Transgender History takes a chronological approach to the subject of transgender history, with each chapter covering major movements, writings, and events. Chapters cover the transsexual and transvestite communities in the years following World War II; trans radicalism and social change, which spanned from 1966 with the publication of The Transsexual Phenomenon, and lasted through the early 1970s; the mid-'70s to 1990-the era of identity politics and the changes witnessed in trans circles through these years; and the gender issues witnessed through the '90s and '00s.

Transgender History includes informative sidebars highlighting quotes from major texts and speeches in transgender history and brief biographies of key players, plus excerpts from transgender memoirs and discussion of treatments of transgenderism in popular culture.

6. Canadian Indigenous Theory/History:

The Inconvenient Indian: A Curious Account of Native People in North America: 

Rich with dark and light, pain and magic, The Inconvenient Indian distills the insights gleaned from Thomas King's critical and personal meditation on what it means to be "Indian" in North America, weaving the curiously circular tale of the relationship between non-Natives and Natives in the centuries since the two first encountered each other. In the process, King refashions old stories about historical events and figures, takes a sideways look at film and pop culture, relates his own complex experiences with activism, and articulates a deep and revolutionary understanding of the cumulative effects of ever-shifting laws and treaties on Native peoples and lands. 

21 Things You May Not Know About the Indian Act: Helping Canadians Make Reconciliation with Indigenous Peoples a Reality:

Since its creation in 1876, the Indian Act has shaped, controlled, and constrained the lives and opportunities of Indigenous Peoples, and is at the root of many enduring stereotypes. Bob Joseph's book comes at a key time in the reconciliation process, when awareness from both Indigenous and non-Indigenous communities is at a crescendo. Joseph explains how Indigenous Peoples can step out from under the Indian Act and return to self-government, self-determination, and self-reliance - and why doing so would result in a better country for every Canadian. He dissects the complex issues around truth and reconciliation, and clearly demonstrates why learning about the Indian Act's cruel, enduring legacy is essential for the country to move toward true reconciliation.

Indigenous Relations: Insights, Tips & Suggestions to Make Reconciliation a Reality:

A timely sequel to the bestselling 21 Things You May Not Know About the Indian Act - and an invaluable guide for anyone seeking to work more effectively with Indigenous Peoples.

We are all treaty people. But what are the everyday impacts of treaties, and how can we effectively work toward reconciliation if we're worried our words and actions will unintentionally cause harm?

Practical and inclusive, Indigenous Relations interprets the difference between hereditary and elected leadership, and why it matters; explains the intricacies of Aboriginal Rights and Title, and the treaty process; and demonstrates the lasting impact of the Indian Act, including the barriers that Indigenous communities face and the truth behind common myths and stereotypes perpetuated since Confederation.

Indigenous Relations equips you with the necessary knowledge to respectfully avoid missteps in your work and daily life, and offers an eight-part process to help business and government work more effectively with Indigenous Peoples - benefitting workplace culture as well as the bottom line. Indigenous Relations is an invaluable tool for anyone who wants to improve their cultural competency and undo the legacy of the Indian Act.

7. Toxic Masculinity:

Angry White Men: American Masculinity at the End of an Era: 

One of the headlines of the 2012 Presidential campaign was the demise of the white American male voter as a dominant force in the political landscape. On election night four years later, when Donald Trump was announced the winner, it became clear that the white American male voter is alive and well and angry as hell. Sociologist Michael Kimmel, one of the leading writers on men and masculinity in the world today, has spent hundreds of hours in the company of America's angry white men – from white supremacists to men's rights activists to young students. In Angry White Men, he presents a comprehensive diagnosis of their fears, anxieties, and rage.Kimmel locates this increase in anger in the seismic economic, social and political shifts that have so transformed the American landscape. Downward mobility, increased racial and gender equality, and a tenacious clinging to an anachronistic ideology of masculinity has left many men feeling betrayed and bewildered. Raised to expect unparalleled social and economic privilege, white men are suffering today from what Kimmel calls "aggrieved entitlement": a sense that those benefits that white men believed were their due have been snatched away from them.

Happy reading, everyone. ♥

[ptts2023]

TM GAME TOURNAMENT MAGAZINE ANNOUNCEMENT 14 PART 02

Written By: Neng Hong Lam Date Written: May 30, 2025

Table of Contents: Book 1 Book 2 Introduction Chapter 01: 1992-1994 Chapter 02: 1992-1994 Chapter 03: 1993-1995 Step By Step Long Journey To Acceptance And Forgiveness Part 30 Chapter 04 [1.] Dirge For the Immigrants A. Achieving the San Diego Family Life B. Effective Transition To Education Step By Step Long Journey To Acceptance And Forgiveness Part 31 Chapter 04 Continue [Important Note 12 (Yearbook)] B. Effective Transition To Education (Continue) Step By Step Long Journey To Acceptance And Forgiveness Part 32 Chapter 04 Continue [Important Note 13 (Want A Chance To Explain)]

Important Note 13 (Want A Chance To Explain)

I felt like I'm about to have a major breakdown right now. So, I'm trying not to be too tense to avoid having the major breakdown.

The following is how it started:

[Why I felt like having a major breakdown? Begin]

I got fed up and too tired to point out that talking about my situation is a trap.

So, I decided Yesterday (05/29/2025) at 5:45 PM, I would leave the North Clairemont Branch Library. Then, eat my dinner. Then, get back to my exercise schedule. Like I wrote in "Important Note 07", I have stopped my exercise schedule for around 2 weeks of time, because of the 6 power sockets in my house kitchen don't have electricity.

What I wanted to do is giving myself a break to feel sorry for myself.

Because I been wanting to not hold back and just cry feel sorry for myself. But, I couldn't cry. Because not crying already can't stop the problems keep happening to me. Crying might create more problems in my life.

The plan is while I'm doing my jogging exercise. I would make myself fall down. Then, start crying. The people on the sidewalk, and/or the cars that drive by. Would stop and ask me why am I crying?

I would reply. "I'm okay now. I just got a bad fall."

I get to cry and felt sorry for myself. Also, I get to know that there are people that care.

It was just a wishful thought. Because my situation. I just didn't want to think too much and jog until I can't jog anymore.

For some reason, the voice in my head happen at the highest is while I'm taking a bath or shower. The theory is bath or shower is when I'm relaxing. This mean the voice in my head don't want me to relax.

I would argues it is not the voice in my head. Because I have started serving in the Student Service starting on 1993. This mean the voice in my head is serving more services than me. As long I continue with the services, then one day I could keep up with the voice in my head.

In the past, I take a shower every 2 weeks. Even though, the whole time I would keep telling myself to hurry with my shower. But, the voice in my head would slow me down during the shower.

For some reason, my mother, Sok Nghim Hoi would scold at me whenever she see me taking a shower.

Even though, I already have voices in my head during shower. Yet, I keep telling myself to hurry so I don't get scold at. But, she still scold me.

One time, she banging on the restroom door and telling me to open the door. I quickly wrap a towel over my waist and open the door for her.

It is during the Christmas time, so I told her that I'm taking a shower to get ready to greet the guests for the Christmas holiday.

She push me out of the way without saying anything.

I interpret the quiet as you are a bad child. Shut up and don't talk. You are only making fun of yourself.

Then, I stopped her from continue walking. I told her that the restroom floor is wet and she might slip on the wet floor. Because I step out of the shower, so the water on my body dripped on the floor.

All of a sudden, Andy San show up. He telling why am I speaking back to my mother.

"I'm sorry. I just want to dry the wet floor, so no one would slip. So, I don't get blamed for the wet floor." I would explained.

It was a very painful Christmas morning. I'm standing in the porch with a towel wrapped around my waist and very confused about what just happen.

So happen, each time I took a shower most of the time something would happen.

Either the water would stop when I'm about to finish my shower. Or, the water inside the bath tub would not go down the drain.

There are multiple times, Nghim would scold at me about why the water inside the bath tub doesn't go down the drain.

On March 2025, when I begin my exercise schedule. I would make taking a bath like a punishment.

I would get on my knee and make sounds that I'm in pain. At the same time, I would wash my hair with shampoo and scrub my body with soap.

Yesterday (05/29/2025), just a day ago, I watched the "Tekken: Blood Vengeance" until Ling Xiaoyu able to have a break. That break scene is she finally able to take a shower after she went through hell. The shower was able to relax her and give her a break from went through hell. I could feel how important that shower is to her.

Because of Ling Xiaoyu's scene, I let down my guard while I was taking a bath. The following thoughts slipped into my head: What the hell am I doing? Taking a bath supposed to be a relaxation. Not a punishment.

That thought almost made me have a major breakdown. So, I used the CX12 Sony HandyCam (Camcorder), and started recording myself. I start complaining about my situation is very harsh.

While recording myself, I realize that I been recording myself complaining about my situation for many years. I started recording myself at 11:00 PM and end at around 3:00 AM. That is about 4 hours.

The following is my stressful day: I'm very distressful about my situation. I'm very stress out on finishing up adding tags to all of my recent PTTS posts including "Step By Step Long Journey To Acceptance And Forgiveness". I'm exhausted from the jogging exercise. And, the 4 hours of painstakingly complaining about my situation in the camcorder.

I keep it at: I just wanted a chance to explain myself. Also, I'm doing my reporter responsibilities and duties.

I want to have wishful thoughts that the very harsh would stop being so harsh. But, what if nothing ever change?

[Why I felt like having a major breakdown? End]

"Step By Step Long Journey To Acceptance And Forgiveness Part 33" continue in TM Game Tournament Magazine Announcement 14 Part 03.

[krispyweiss]

Song Review: Bob Dylan - “I Pity the Poor Immigrant” (Take 4)

As Bob Dylan worked on John Wesley Harding, he considered making “I Pity the Poor Immigrant” an upbeat, acoustic toe-tapper.

The evidence comes in the form of the previously unreleased Take 4, which follows an early version of “Tell Me That it Isn’t True” as the second single from Travelin’ Thru, 1967 – 1969: The Bootleg Series Vol. 15, a three-CD set credited to Dylan (featuring Johnny Cash) that comes out Nov. 1.

Sprightly and irresistible, this outtake is nevertheless jarring as the lyrics - about a man who passionately hates his life/and likewise, fears his death - fit better inside the dirge-like album track. But outtakes are best when they provide insight to an artist’s creative process and this one does precisely that.

Grade card: Bob Dylan - “I Pity the Poor Immigrant” (Take 4) - B

9/24/19

[thesupersecretbookstore]

This Week’s Expert Picks

Recommended to me by Nikki Sixx's Instagram, Wait Till I'm Dead, the uncollected poems of Allen Ginsberg, called out to me. This random book of beat poetics is like a birthday gift that didn't arrive on time. It's like your mom ordered it on Amazon and it didn't arrive on time and then everyone forgot about it. What a pleasant surprise. These poems are rigid and sparse but more my speed than a lot of latter day Ginsberg poems, when he went on a Buddhist rant or a political dirge. I banged out this book in a weekend, reading between basketball games and breakfasts for dinner. This is the type of book you don't set out to buy, but if you come across it on a sale shelf you must add it to your collection. RB

This is the story of Franz, a young man leaving his Austrian home to work in the busy city of Vienna. He starts working for a tobacconist by the name of Otto, in which he helps supply the folks of Vienna with newspapers, cigarettes, and cigars. There are many regulars whom visit the shop, which include Sigmund Freud. Franz and Freud form a unique friendship amidst Germany annexing Austria and changing the landscape forever. Along with the landscape, Franz, Freud, and Otto are changed forever.

The novel is essentially a very minimal version of World War II and focuses on these people while crazy world events are happening. Frankly it was, not at all what I expected? I wanted to read about the Tobacconist and his job and the novel focuses on Franz and Freud, and their odd relationship. The writing was well done but as far as a plot wasn’t much there.

Aside from the plot, the character development was pretty nonexistent as well. You don’t really learn much about Franz, and Otto whom the book is named after. The Freud aspect felt off about the novel, and with the backdrop of WWII it made for an odd landscape. It definitely had some potential but just falls flat, perhaps fans of WWII will enjoy it but just not enough to keep me interested. CJH

American Born Chinese by Gene Luen Yang has won all the awards there are to win for graphic novels and young adult literature. And it deserves them, but I feel like it falling into these two supposedly niche categories does it a great disservice. People often ignore those two genres as illegitimate as if they don't exist solely for marketing purposes. But I digress.

American Born Chinese tells the story of the teenage son of two Chinese immigrants to the US and his coming-of-age. Through three parallel stories--one of a folklorish Monkey King, one of an American sitcom, and one that appears to be the reality--we learn of the combined struggles of racism and teenage hardship, in addition to living a life that cannot be translated to parents or friends.

The main character, who appears to be the main character in all three story lines, struggles with conflicted feelings about making friends with the Taiwanese immigrant in his school and the Japanese-American girl his friend dates. His struggles, though, come with wry humor, piercing sincerity, and perfect metaphor. The weaving of the three story lines creates an unshakeable narrative. An easy read, I'd recommend this book to folks interested in learning about the immigrant experience, especially for folks who may not love to read. SE

[itwas50yearsagotoday]

10/5/20:  It was 50 years ago today, October 5th, 1970, Led Zeppelin released their third album ‘Led Zeppelin III’ (naturally).  This is one of those albums that seems to divide the diehards from the fans... I know at least two people that have said that this is their favorite album.  I remember getting it on cassette from Camelot Music when I was a teenager, and after hearing Zeppelin 2 and 4 first, I was mighty disappointed by this record.  I think I will say that, what completely spoils it for me, is that it contains what must be the worst last song on a Rock record ‘Hats Off to (Roy) Harper’... this song not only kinda sucks but also is quite unlistenable... I don’t care how ‘genuine’ Robert Plant is supposed to sound singing old Delta Blues tunes, but this is fucking dreadful.  Too bad, because I’ve grown to like Roy Harper a bit... why associate this with him?  Whatever... at least I got that out of the way, because beyond that track, mostly ever other song on this record is at least good, if not great.  This album starts off, of course, with the well-known (especially since Marvel Universe) song from the record ‘Immigrant Song’... I’ll cover that one on its own before the end of the year since it was a rare Led Zep single.  So the deal with ‘III’ is that it is one side heavy, one side light... old school critics seemed to say that this was the ‘blueprint’ for the legendary follow-up, not that one this or one the other, but the mixing up of the two styles, because there certainly is more acoustic-based music here than on the previous two records.  Blueprint?  Sure, maybe...the big difference between this album and the next is the level of grandeur is SO different.  Maybe the dirge-y ‘Since I’ve Been Loving You’ would flow amongst the tracks of Four Symbols (or possibly ‘Tangerine’).  Most of the songs on this records, hard and soft, have a much more intimate feel... like songs in a club versus songs in an arena.  The best representative of the soft side, by the way, is the Spotify track I’ve linked ‘Gallows Pole’... after 30-odd years of listening to this record, this I think is the best song on it.  It’s just so FULL of energy, and it STOMPS... more than even ‘Bron Y’Aur Stomp’, which is also a decent tune on the soft second side.  The first side also has an interesting microcosm of this hard-soft feel with ‘Friends’ and ‘Celebration Day’, which like ‘Heartbreaker’ and ‘Living Loving Maid’, must be together... although in the former case, the songs actually merge... by themselves I think the songs are okay, but I like them together much better.  What else... ‘Out on the Tiles’ could fit on ‘Physical Graffiti’ as it is a rather generic hard rocker, but not bad either, and the extended coda is awesome.  On the second side, the other two soft songs left are ‘Tangerine’ and ‘That’s the Way’... ‘Tangerine’ could fit on IV... and if there is a blueprint for the blueprint, it’s this lovely tune.  ‘That’s the Way’ is a pretty song too... both of these songs are ‘morning songs’ to me.  Maybe I heard them both during a sunrise at some point.  So that’s it... also, I used to commit some blasphemy when I was a kid, as I would substitute the B-side of ‘Immigrant Song’ which is the pretty little sing-a-long tune ‘Hey, Hey, What Can I Do?’ for ‘Harper’... that’s how they shoulda done it.  So there.

[sinceileftyoublog]

Alejandro Escovedo's Songs, Living and Breathing

From left to right: Mark Henne, Alejandro Escovedo, James Mastro, Scott Danbom

BY JORDAN MAINZER

He's a true master of reinvention. Don't get me wrong: It's the same Alejandro Escovedo. But he's continuing to find out that there are many right ways to tell his stories, especially when it comes to their musical accompaniment. Escovedo hasn't released a new album of original material since 2018's The Crossing, and that's okay. In 2021, he shared a Spanish-language version of the aforementioned album, La Cruzada, an act whose sociopolitical ramifications speak for themselves, in an era of increasing anti-immigration rhetoric and xenophobia that the very album explores. And earlier this year, inspired by his forebears, Escovedo decided to revisit all eras of his discography.

Including tunes from pre-solo career bands Buick MacKane and The True Believers, Echo Dancing (Yep Roc) is 14 re-recordings of older songs. When Escovedo boarded a plane to Italy to record with Don Antonio (with whom he recorded The Crossing) and Nicola Peruch, he thought he was going to improvise a new record from his lyrical and melodic sketches. Upon hearing other bands' interpretations of his songs--namely Calexico's version of "Wave", originally from 2001's A Man Under the Influence--Escovedo thought, "I, too, can do that." The man who sings on Echo Dancing is, yes, older and wiser, having seen friends and family members come and go, continuing to find truth in stories both personal and fictional. But instead of focusing on his own voice, Escovedo obscures himself behind clouds of haze, electronic effects, sparse drum machines, and distorted guitars, the pain in his voice all the more affecting due to how isolated it sounds. On "Thought I'd Let You Know", a clattering song originally from 2016's Burn Something Beautiful, Escovedo stretches the running time a full three minutes, as if to give himself even more time to reflect alongside buzzing stabs of noise. He repeats, "We're not alone / We are all alone," the effective musings of someone struggling to make sense of the world around them.

At the same time, if songs with more traditional instrumentation sound futuristic on their Echo Dancing version, Escovedo pulls familiar sounds out of those that might have sounded dystopian in the past. The Crossing's "MC Overload", for instance, trades the original's chugging, metallic instrumentation and vocoders for bluesy picking, Gianni Perinelli's soprano saxophone, and Escovedo's deadpan baritone. And Antonio adds gospel-inflected organ to "Swallows of San Juan" and "Last to Know", which somehow sounds at home next to drum machines and dulled bass drums.

Escovedo's gear

When I saw that Escovedo was touring Echo Dancing, I thought, "Which versions of these songs would he play live?" Would we get the new version of "John Conquest" with syncopated synthesizers, or the Buick Mackane punk burner (technically and hilariously titled "John Conquest You've Got Enough Dandruff on Your Collar to Bread a Veal Cutlet")? Would he play fan favorite "Castanets", a self-described Mott the Hoople-style rock and roll song, or "Casta​ñ​uelas", the slow, drippy, half-Spanish language dub version with slightly different lyrics? According to his show last Thursday at FitzGerald's, the answer was, "Sometimes, both, other times, something in between the two, and occasionally, neither." During "Sacramento & Polk", Escovedo's venerable backing band--guitarist James Mastro, keyboardist Scott Danbom, drummer Mark Henne--adopted the upbeat punk drive of the original version from 2006's The Boxing Mirror, behind Escovedo's obscured vocals, which were inspired by Echo Dancing's version. On "Bury Me", a prescient tune when it appeared on Escovedo's 1992 debut Gravity, Mastro played the original's twangy slide guitar, while Danbom extracted the pure funk from the new version. Their performance of "Too Many Tears" combined the built-up dirge of Big Station's original with Escovedo's miles-away delivery of Echo Dancing's. And "Everybody Loves Me" retreated to a soulful, back-to-basics ethos, its blues-funk towering above the original's CCR-indebted strut and new version's wonderfully puzzling industrial country.

If the true testament to a song's lasting impact is how it can emotionally resonate over time, ballad "Sensitive Boys" was the highlight of the set. Introducing it, Escovedo paid tribute to his brother Manuel, who passed away weeks ago at 94 years old. Hearing Escovedo repeat, "The world needs you now," despite what we all knew to be true was heartbreaking, yes, but the band filled the room with an undeniable warmth, from Escovedo's deep belting to Mastro's plucky guitars and Danbom's keyboards, out of which he concocted a whole orchestra worth of sounds. It's sometimes hard to remember just how long Escovedo's been around when I think to myself that he hasn't put out anything "original" in a while. Hearing Echo Dancing and seeing him live reminds me that the sort of newness I look out for, even crave, is still limited by the construct of time. With the right shift in perspective and a couple tweaks, a song can be just as living and breathing as I am.

[yetanotherfanficblog]

Unexpected Journey

Fandom: Final Fantasy XIV

Characters: Pyotyr Ilych (Male Duskwight Elezen WoL OC), Enkhjargal Qalli (Male Au Ra OC).

Rating/Warnings: PG (Violence and Kidnapping mentions)

Summary: Many years before he became the Warrior of Light, Pyotyr was a simple assessor of the Arcanist’s Guild. One day, a Visit from a member of a Rogue’s Guild gets him much more than he bargained for. Semi-sequel to the fic Unexpected, also on this blog.

---

Arcanist's Guild assessor Pyoyr Ilych, as was common on afternoons, found himself inside one of the warehouses near Mealvaan's Gate on the docks of Limsa Lominsa, staring down a rather sizable pile of crates. He opened his book, and flipped tg the day's itinirary.

"Hm," He said, murmuring to no-one in particular, "Teagan's Folly, merchant ship, Ul'dahn ownership, claims 500 lots of Thavnarian Silk."

He flipped the book one more page, and scribbled a small line to complete a link with a flourish. In a flash of aetherial energy, his companion, a small blue carbuncle, appeared before him.

"There you are, Master Sparkles!" he said, favoring his partner with a smile, "Shall we get to work?"

Pyotyr took his work even more seriously than usual these days, after a rash of hazardous smuggling - mostly Pluto and Dreamweed, but a few Allagan artifacts as well. As an Ex-Pirate, he could let a bit of smuggling pass, but when you were smuggling powerful ancient weaponry or performance-enhancing drugs, well. That just wasn't sporting, to say nothing of the  vastly heightened possibility of getting innocents caught in the crossfire when some great dodo fired a weapon she had no idea how to operate, or completely lost his mind to the effects of a Pluto overdose. Thus, he was only about halfway done with his inspections when he felt a presence behind him.

"May I help you?" He said, if only to let the person know they were not undetected, and turned around to see a black-scaled, blue-skinned Au Ra perched on the pile of crates behind him.

"Pyotyr Ilych, assessor, arcanist, whom I see," he sang, a simple but unfamiliar tune in a strong baritone, "If you can lay your work aside, I'd have you speak to me."

Ah, of course, the Qalli. While some of the Xaela who'd immigrated to Eorzea had left behind the ways of their homeland, many more still kept to the traditions of their people and their particular tribes in one way or another. For the Qalli, that meant that all spoken communication was instead sung or chanted in a tone that might be a simple chant, a noisome battle hymn, or a funerous dirge, among other things, depending on the content of the missive and the personality and emotions of the speaker. For Pyotyr's part, he rather liked it. It reminded him of the rythm of the sea shanties out on the Ocean, the crew singing in harmony to work in harmony.

Unfortunately, his trepedation of this person came from a different angle altogether. The intruder wore baggy, loose-fitting green canvas pants and sandals, with a belt full of pouches and tools and a pair of sheathed daggers slung low across his hips. His hands were wrapped in cloth bandages, fingers free for gripping and touch, another length of green cloth wrapped across his chest, and a bandanna held his hair and the sweat of his brow in place, keeping it from falling in his eyes, with only a single braid of white escaping to run down his back a short ways - the classic uniform of a swabbie, yes, but also of anothe group only spoken of in whispers among pirates and dockworkers alike - and since they weren't on the deck of a ship, nor were shiphands generally allowed in the warehouses while the assessors worked, Pyotyr had to assume this person was, indeed, a member of the Rogue's Guild, the enforcers of the old code.

"Master Qalli, I'd wager?" Pyotyr bowed and smiled slightly, guarded, eyes probing. With a gesture from his hand, Master Sparkles, who had been sniffing at a crate at the top of the pile, bounded down the containers and came to heel at his side, "I shall not insult either of our intelligences by asking who you work for, but I am at your service. What brings you to call on a poor assessor such as I?"

"Enkhjargal Qalli is my name, I gainsay not your words," the Rogue sang in reply, "But questions must I ask of you, ere my quest be fulfilled."

Pyotyr shut his book. He felt still a bit on edge, but if the Rogue was going to execute him, chances are he wouldn't have gotten his attention first.

"A pleasure to meet you, Master Qalli," he answered, not quite truthfully, "It's my last inspection of the day, but I'd prefer not to be kept too long, if possible. I need to stop at the markets before my girls get home from school, if you please," he said.

"Tell me then, of Drystelakwyn," He sang, "Captain Mhardraga of the Pomona, Scourge of Garleans, Mother of your Children, for this have I come unto your door."

At that, the vitality drained from Pyotyr's face for a moment. If a Rogue was saying a Pirate's name, it was not often for good tidings. They were most likely to be marked, wanted, or at best a victim of the Rogue's true prey. He steeled himself, said a quick prayer to the Navigator that Enkhjargal had not marked his moment of fear, and that Mhar was alright, stood up straight, and spoke.

"Captain Mhardraga Drystelakwyn," He spoke, "Is an Honorable Privateer. She has a Letter of Marque to waylay Garlean ships, and never waylays a ship under the protection of the Eorzean Alliance. Only Salvages and plunders wrecks and islands she has a fair claim to. She sends me a share of the ship's haul every so often under our charter, and to fulfill her duties as mother of our children. She sometimes sends the girls letters and gifts, especially on their namedays. I ask nothing more of her, and I consider her a friend still. She sometimes visits when she's docked in Limsa, but I havent seen her for six months, which is certainly not the longest she's been at sea by far. Regardless, I will gladly vouch for her character. She's the best sailor I've ever known, and as honorable a swashbuckler as ever sailed the seas. Does that answer your question?"

Enkhjargal smiled at that, looked almost amused. Meanwhile, Pyotyrs heart felt as if it was beating between his ears. The crew of the Pomona were dear to him. Mhar, Slaf, Doc, and many of the others who had trod the decks in his day still sailed under the flag, and he still drank a pint with them if he could steal away while they were docked in town. Sure, they'd played fast and loose with their letter of marque everyone once in a while, but they really were one of the more honorable crews on the waves. Whatever could they have done to gain the eye of the Rogue's Guild?

"I mean them no harm, friend," Enkhjargal sang, "Their charter is safe, their honor intact, yet worrying words carry on the wind now, I fear this letter, may shine more on that."

And indeed Enkhjargal produced a folded piece of paper from one of the pouches on his belt, handing it to Pyotyr, who unfolded it.

Pyotyr Ilych,

The Bounty isn't complete unless we bring you in too, and we're willing to do whatever it takes. If you aren't on Moonglow Isle within a fortnight, we'll find your children, and take them in your stead.

Jeantiel Estellieur Captain of the Bloody Hand

"Seven Hells, why didn't you show this to me earlier? How did you get this? I have to go, now, I have to make sure Svetlana and Anastasia are safe-" He turned to run for the warehouse door, but before he took more than a few steps, Enkhjargal sang out.

"They are safe, even now, let your mind rest, Ser Ilych, Spirited to safehouse, guarded by our finest," He sang, "This letter we took from the street tough that bore it, who lifted a purse 'fore he came to your door."

Pyotyr turned back to the man, "By the Gods, couldn't you have let one pickpocket pass? How long ago was it? Where have you taken my girls? Are you sure they're safe?"

Enkhjargal nodded, "I give you my word, as Qalli and Rogue, your daughters are taken to a place they won't know of. But now our concern lies in the Bloody Hand, this Bounty they speak of, the fate of your friends."

"By the Twelve," Pyotyr said, "I will hold you to that, Enkhjargal. But for now, you are right, I must gather my thoughts. This bounty, I do not know of it. Surely if we were wanted in Eorzea, I would never have been able to make a life as I have in Limsa!"

"Not by Eorzea, your reputation is spotless," Enkhjargal sang, "Or at least enough not to be clapped in cold iron. Yet old enemies may hold grudges long, and the Garleans have heard your plundering song."

"Wait, the Garleans? I thought they just sent armies after their targets! Are you saying they sicced another group of pirates on us?"

"The Rogues' guild believes this, our sources suggest that the truth of the matter is as you have said," Enkhjargal chanted, gravely.

"Damn me," Pyotyr murmured, "If I was on that bounty still, they must have Slaf and Mhar at the very least. Where did they want me to go, Moonglow? Damn me, that's one of the Umbral Isles!"

"The Graveyard of ships, of privateer corpses," Enkhjargal sang, "But for the bold sailor, a hideaway and haven."

Pyotyr growled, "Damn it, Mhar. How did they get to you anyway?"

Enkhjargal put a hand on Pyotyr's shoulder, "The rogue's guild sets sail for bold Moonglow Island, you and your daughters will now be protected. Garlean Tyranny will not be stood for, not within the confines of Vylbrand's brave seas."

Pyotyr sighed, "Enkhjargal, I appreciate it, but you have no idea how powerful the Bloody Hand is. What if the Garleans gave them weapons to go along with the bounty offer? Or worse yet, Magitek! If they take you down on that island, and I'm not there, they'll just keep coming until they have me or my daughters, and I can't let that happen. Besides, The Pomona's crew is still important to me. I went ashore to raise my girls but they're still my mates."

"Your speech is commendable, your face is determined," Enkhjargal sang in return, "Yet consider the words that next spring to your lips. Your Privateer days are a decade behind you, and the swords of the swashers are sharp as before."

Pyotyr shook his head, "I spent the first quarter of a century of my life fighting. You don't forget all that in a few years. And I havent completely fallen out of practice. Mhar and Doc and Slaf and the rest need me. And my daughters won't be safe until this Bloody Hand is taken down."

Enkhjargal nodded, "Your daughters we'll protect, our watch will not waver, til Bloody Hand's wiped out or gives up their suit. But if you won't join them, with us then, do travel, and with your help mayhap, the Hand will be cleaned."

Pyotyr smiled queasily, reassured by the Rogue's support, yet still worried, for his daughters, for the Pomona, for his own life.

"Alright. I'll pack a few things and meet you wherever I need to. But before we leave... could I see my daughters?"

"Of course," Enkhjargal sang, shortly, sweetly, a reassuring smile on his face.

---

Thus it was, a few hours later, that Pyotyr and Enkhjargal ducked into a certain warehouse thought by some to be a convent of nuns of a strangely named and unknown order. Enkhjargal lead him down a side hallway, and opened a door into a room. While no windows stood on the walls, a fire crackled cheerily in a nearby fireplace, and a small couch, some chairs, and a table lent an air of homeliness to the room. Two young girls, Roegadyn by their stature, but with slightly pointed ears, leapt from the couch and looked at the door, immediately breaking into a run when they saw who entered.

"Papa!" They shouted in Unison, and Pyotyr knelt down and gathered them into his arms.

"Oh! Svetlana! Anastasia! How glad I am to see you," He murmured, trying not to let his voice be choked too much by the tears of relief that rose to his eyes.

"Papa, why are you crying?" Svetlana, younger than her sister by a few minutes, asked meekly.

"I am crying because I am so relieved to see you and your sister again, my dear," He answered.

"We're happy to see you too, Papa," Anastasia said in her turn, "Even if you couldn't make us Clam Chowder tonight after all!"

Pyotyr chuckled at that, despite himself. Anastasia was nearly as forward as her mother, sometimes.

"I am sorry for that, both of you," he said. "but I promise. I'll make it for you as soon as I get back."

"But you ARE back, Papa!" Anastasia insisted.

"For now, yes," Pyotyr said, and now he held them both before him, at arm's length, a hand on each of their shoulders.

"But I'm going to have to go away for a while. No longer than a week, if I'm lucky."

"Why, Papa?" Svetlana was the first to ask, eyes wide.

"Well, you know the stories I tell you, of when Papa and Mama used to sail togther?" Pyotyr said, waiting for the girls to nod before continuing, "There's a few people who didn't like some of the adventures we had back then, and they've been chasing your mother and me. We think they might have kidnapped your Mama, and they want to kidnap me. So I'm going to go make sure we're all safe from them."

"Oh!" said Anatasia, "Are you gonna fight them to save Mama?"

Pyotyr sighed, "It may come to that, yes. But don't worry. I'm coming back, alright?"

"Fear not children, And Sleep in Peace," Enkhjargal sang from the behind Pyotyr in the doorway, "For Enkhjargal Qalli shall sail with him! I will protect both him and your mother, and return to Lominsa safely and sound."

Svetlana's eyes were brimming with tears, but she looked up at Enkhjargal with a small smile, "Thank you, Mister Enkhjargal," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I like Mister Enkhjargal, Papa," Anastasia said matter-of-factly, "His voice is really pretty. Maybe I should start singing everything I say too!"

Pyotyr chuckled, "Well, we can discuss that when I get back. Maybe I can teach you a few more Sea Shanties."

Anastasia beamed at that.

"And what about you, Svetlana?" Pyotyr said, turning his gaze to his quieter daughter, more prone to introspection, her heart more tender than her sister's, "What do you want to do when I come home?"

"I-I-" she whispered, then threw her arms around her father, "I want to go home, Papa."

"And we will, Svetlana," Pyotyr said, feeling his heart breaking into pieces, wrapping his arms around her in return, "We will, I swear it. My sweet Svetlana."

After a moment, he disengaged from the poor girl slightly, to reach into the satchel at his waist, producing two small dolls, dressed as proper swashbuckler queens, "Here, darlings. I stopped by the house and got you a few things. I'm leaving this pack here, but I wanted to make sure you got them."

"Priscilla!" Anastasia shrieked happily, and snatched up the doll in blue, hugging it happily. The doll dressed in a red jacket, Svetlana took more properly, but she hugged it just tight.

"There, you see girls? You have Priscilla and Merlwyb to keep you company, just like at home. I know it's going to be tough, but you're both brave and I'm so proud of you. I'll be back as soon as I can to take you home, and I swear, we'll have nothing but your favorite meals for at least a week!"

Anastasia and Svetlana both nodded at that, and Svetlana leaned in to hug her father tightly one last time, followed by Anastasia.

"I love you girls," He whispered, "I'll be back."

"We love you too Papa," they said, and Pyotyr stood up, and with one final smile, walked back out the door, knowing that if he stayed another moment, he wouldn't be able to leave.

Enkhjargal and Pyotyr walked back down the hallway in silence for a moment.

"I swear to you, on all my honor," Enkhjargal sang, "Your daughters will be kept safe and well fed. Maggie McGee, one of our number, a mother herself, will watch night and day."

"Thank you," Pyotyr spoke, his voice husky, "I... thank you. Svetlana's such a dear sensitive little girl, she'll be heartbroken for days. Anastasia is good at looking after her, but they're both in such an unfamiliar place, and she might be frightened too. We've lived in our apartment above the fish market since they were three years old, you know? I havent spent more than a night away from them since they've been born."

"You are acting bravely, to secure their future," he sang, "In that there is no shame, though sadness you feel. They will be safe here, while we journey to Moonglow, to save their mother, and stop cold the Hand."

Pyotyr nodded, and on his lips murmured a small prayer, "Navigator, Blessed Llymlaen, if ever you answered one of my prayers, let it be this. Keep my family safe, and let me be reunited with my daughters, all of us hearty and whole. I pray!"

And so Pyotyr and Enkhjargal exited the small warehouse side door, to embark on an Unexpected Journey, the fate of his family hanging in the balance.