#Disney parent lane

[creepypasta-fan-page]

“Lane The Lurker„

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-: I wholeheartedly believe that LTL is the type of person to go all out for holidays.

-:Like for Halloween they decorate the manor with fake cobwebs and those ridiculously huge blow up Disney characters.

-: They also does the whole combat boot in (fake?) blood going up to the door or around the house.

-: They also raid spirit Halloween for those “Creepypasta” costumes. Like the really poorly made Jeff the killer mask that has the name is “Austin the Error”

-: for Fourth of July they have “America the great” playing. They also paint the American flag. On the manor. Yes they have gotten in trouble for doing this.

-: And don’t get me started on Christmas… They get the Mickey Mouse blow ups, the fake snow, stockings for everyone (they decorate them and Sally’s is most definitely covered in pink glitter)

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!!LNL DOES NOT BELONG TO ME AND BELONGS TO @raythekiller !!

-:Also, They’re a Disney parent..

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[rcmclachlan]

Relative Value (buck/tommy)

"And I feel for her, you know? I really do. The dissolution of a relationship, especially a marriage, feels like you're drowning in hot tar, and you spend every waking moment kicking your way to the surface to try and breathe. But if she brings up her divorce again while I'm in the middle of peeing? I'm going to divorce her head from her body."

Buck makes a face at the thought of Maddie's decapitated coworker. "Please don't send the 118 to that scene. I'm not so great with entrails these days. Send the 147—they deserve it after they botched that extrication on Monday." 

Maddie laughs, the sound tinny but comfortingly familiar coming through his phone's speakers. She'd propped her phone on Jee-Yun's dresser halfway through the call so she could put away laundry while she talked, and for the last five minutes he's been watching her fold Jee's clothes like she's being judged at the Olympics. 

It's nice to see that hasn't changed. Maddie should've been in jail years ago for the way she loads a dishwasher, but when it comes to laundry she's a goddamn wizard. When he was younger, his parents saddled him with taking out the trash and doing the dishes, but putting away the laundry was always Maddie's chore. She actually enjoyed it, the weirdo. She used to tell him the first whiff of warm Snuggle right out of the dryer was a cure-all. Also, she can fold a fitted sheet in under ten seconds. He'd timed her once.

Maddie takes an eye-wateringly orange shirt out of the laundry basket and with three decisive motions turns it into a perfect rectangle. If Jee ever decides she wants to go deer hunting, she'll be all set. "Since when are you not good with entrails?" 

"Since that guy was ripped in half last week."

It'd easily been the grizzliest car crash he'd ever been called to. It made the 405 pileup a few years back look like Disney on Ice. About halfway through tagging and bagging almost a dozen casualties strewn all over the westbound lanes of the Pomona Freeway, the guy responsible for the crash snapped awake while Hen and Chimney were setting up and drove off in a panic. The top-half of the motorist stuck under his car was dragged maybe sixty feet, and Buck had a front row seat to the sight of the poor guy's nerves and vasculature trailing behind him like squid tentacles before the driver came to a stop by hitting yet another car. 

"I'm also not eating spaghetti for the foreseeable future, FYI," he adds.

Maddie wrinkles her nose. "Okay, changing the subject: when do you leave again?"

It wouldn't be an overstatement to say the smile that question invokes explodes over his face. He feels it happen; the spark eats the fuse so quickly there's barely any lead-up and his cheeks burn from the sheer magnitude of the blast. 

"You look deranged," Maddie says, laughing.

"I feel deranged." He's been like this all week and it's starting to scare everyone. Chimney keeps leaving pamphlets for Clozaril in his locker. "Tomorrow morning. We're picking up the bird right after we do a coffee run."

"I wish my boyfriend was whisking me away to the mountains for a romantic getaway." Maddie heaves a theatrical sigh. "My husband says the best he can do is Shake Shack."

The whole thing is absolutely bonkers. He'd been minding his own business, half-watching a documentary about volcanoes with his feet in Tommy's lap, when they showed some insanely beautiful footage of Mount Rainier. And although his mind was focused on completing level 29 of Euclidea, his mouth was busy saying, "I've always wanted to go there." 

Thumb digging into Buck's instep, Tommy had made a thoughtful sound and said, "I'd tapped a buddy of mine to get us into Griffith Observatory after hours, but I like your idea way better. Let's do it."

If someone had told Buck 1.0 that someday a beast of a man would be flying him by helicopter to the Cascades for their two-year anniversary, he would've laughed his way into a pneumothorax. And then he would've tried to fuck his nurse. 

He looks across the living room to where their bags have been sitting, fully packed, since last night, and grins. "Tell Chim he needs to step up his game. You're worth Zankou, at least."

Maddie snorts. "Gee, thanks."

Behind her, there's unexpected movement, and every muscle in his body locks up as his heart stops in a moment of brief, blinding terror. 

It's stupid to feel this way after seven years, but a little part of him is still waiting for Doug to crawl out of the shadows like a wraith to finish what he tried to do. He's spent many a sleepless night spiraling to the soundtrack of Chimney's desperate, Do you know he's dead for sure? Did you see a body?

Buck did see his body, but a little voice sometimes whispers to him from some deep, dark place at two in the morning: it was freezing that day. It could've slowed the bleeding, could've kept him alive long enough to go to a hospital. You don't know what happened after the ambulance left with him. What if he survived? What if he's out there right now, just biding his time?

Which are bad and ridiculous thoughts to have because he knows that monster is dead, and frankly he's got better things to think about than Doug, who's absolutely having his skin torn off in hell right now—especially since his adorable, perfect niece is the one who came into the room. 

"Say hi to your uncle, Jee," Maddie says, smiling. In her hands, a pair of polka dot leggings becomes a polka dot brick with hospital corners. 

Jee-Yun jumps a little like she can't quite see him, and Maddie goes over to the dresser to obligingly tilt the camera down. 

"Hi, Uncle Buck." Jee-Yun waves, then rises an inch or two higher in the frame, and he realizes she's standing on her tiptoes. She cranes her head, moving it a bit from side to side like she's looking for something. After a few seconds, she drops back down, grimacing in disappointment.

He looks over his shoulder, but no one's there. "Sorry, kiddo, it's just me."

"Just you is fine, always," Maddie immediately pipes up, and he ducks his head with a smile. It's always nice to hear her say that. "It's just that… well, she had a question and we weren't sure if you were the one we should be asking."

Buck grins. "Lay it on me, Jee."

It's always a little hilarious to watch how Jee reacts when the spotlight's on her. She bounces and twirls a little, and her whale-spout pigtails move with her. For someone getting ready to enter kindergarten, she's got the stage presence of a Broadway star. "Uncle Buck, how do airplanes fly when they're so big and heavy?"

He opens his mouth to answer her, but there's nothing there, just an empty pocket of air that tastes vaguely like the ham sandwich he had for lunch. He closes his mouth with a click, stymied. He could've sworn he knew this one. Something about lift and drag?

"Jee, I-I'm sorry. I don't know off the top of my head. I could look it up for you?"

A little groan escapes her, but it turns into a shriek when a tie-dyed sweatshirt comes winging from off-camera and lands on her head. Jee wrestles the shirt away, static making her hair cling to her face, which she swipes with a whine. 

"That's why I wanted to ask Uncle Tommy!"

Buck has forgotten a lot about the tsunami. Time has softened the memory of how warm the water was, how it shoved its way into his mouth and nostrils like it was trying to find a way inside his veins, and that it was filled with so much debris it scored the insides of his cheeks bloody. But the one thing he never lost was how his feet went out from under him when that first wave hit like a freight train. He hasn't been able to ride a roller coaster since: he doesn't see the need to pay to experience the feeling of free fall again. He remembers every second of it like it just happened. 

He may be sitting on the couch with his feet firmly on the floor, but his stomach is thrilling at the familiar sensation of being completely unmoored. Only instead of being dragged into the dark, he's being pulled up into endless blue. 

Breathless with stratospheric joy, he digs his trembling fingers into his knees like it's going to do anything to keep him grounded, and chokes out, "Who, Jee?"

The look Jee turns on the camera is so confused that Buck isn't sure he was even using real words just then. It could've been a jumble of sounds falling from his mouth like aquarium gravel. 

"Uncle Tommy," Jee says, with the patient air of someone who forgot they were talking to an idiot. "It's okay if you don't know about airplanes, Uncle Buck. You drive fire trucks."

He's pretty sure he was just insulted. Behind Jee, Maddie's wide-eyed and mouthing an ecstatic oh my god! 

"Tell you what. When—" he swallows thickly, overcome "—Uncle Tommy wakes up from his nap, I'll have him call you and he can tell you all about how planes stay up in the air."

She mulls it over, and he can see the outline of her tongue poking the inside of her cheek like she's swishing the offer around in her mouth. Finally, she gives him two decisive nods of her head that has her pigtails bouncing. "Okay. When's that?"

"I-I don't know. Soon." If the lightning had struck a few feet away from him instead of dead-on, he thinks it would've felt like this. Any second now he's going to vibrate out of his skin and scar Jee for life. "Maybe I should go check on him." 

"I think that's a good idea," Maddie says cheerfully, coming into the foreground. Her eyes are glossy and red, and even with two screens and several miles between them it feels like she's about to wrap him up in the warmest hug. "Why don't we let you go for now? Uncle Tommy can give us a buzz later."

"Yeah, t-that sounds like a plan." He knows he's rocking the deranged look again, except it's somehow so much worse. He doesn't care. He hopes his face gets stuck like this. When he rolls into the station two weeks from tomorrow, he's going to take every pamphlet Chimney shoves at him and eat them.

Maddie's grin is threatening to split her face in half. "Give Uncle Tommy a big kiss from us."

He's going to do way more than that. "You bet. Bye, Mads. Bye, Jee!"

The very second the call ends, he's on his feet and practically running down the hall. Tommy had been coming off a rough 24 earlier when he'd sloppily kissed Buck and then staggered into the bedroom. It's been almost three hours and Buck hasn't heard a peep since. 

Buck makes sure to lift the bedroom door when he opens it so the hinges don't creak, and when he sees Tommy—sprawled diagonally across the mattress with his jeans still on and enough drool soaked into the pillowcase to fill a bathtub—his knees decide it's the perfect time to stop working. He clutches the door frame so he doesn't crumble to the floor under the weight of all this euphoria.

Jee thinks of Tommy as family. It's not hard to figure out the logic she must be using to get there: she has an Uncle Buck, who has had a Tommy for as long as she's been making real memories, and therefore… 

He can't help but wonder who else in the world is operating on that same intel. Jee has no doubt told the teachers at her kindergarten about her mom and dad and her amazingly cool Uncle Buck, but maybe she's also told them about her other uncle, who always lets her ride on his shoulders when they go to the park and who talks to her like she's a forty-seven-year old at brunch. Maybe she's told kids at the playground about the uncle who knows why planes stay in the air and who folded himself into a pretzel because she wanted him to sit next to her at the kids' table last Friendsgiving. Maybe she's drawn shitty pictures in crayon of two stick figures holding hands under a smiling sun, and when her classmates ask who they're supposed to be, she tells them, "That's my Uncle Buck and my Uncle Tommy." 

Inhaling shakily, he makes himself move from the doorway to the bed, crawling in as gingerly as he can. It's all for nothing, though, because Tommy cracks an eye open and fixes it on him. Buck scrunches his face up in apology, but Tommy just smiles a little and tugs Buck down, pressing his face into the space between Buck's neck and shoulder and settling with a hum.

Buck slides a hand into his hair and holds him close, breathing in old sweat and a hint of his own shampoo. "I love you, Uncle Tommy."

"If this is a new kink, I'm going to need at least another two hours of sleep before I'm prepared to tackle it," Tommy mumbles. 

Choking on laughter, Buck presses a kiss to the side of his head and wonders if it's possible to die of happiness. "Not quite. Your niece has a question about airplanes and wants you to call her when you wake up."

When there's no immediate answer, Buck is sure Tommy's fallen back to sleep, but then Tommy shifts a little in his arms, presses a kiss to his shoulder, and murmurs warmly, "Will do."

[a34trgv2]

Why It Worked: Inside Out

Introduction: Inside Out is an animated coming-of-age film produced by Pixar Animation Studios and distributed by Walt Disney Pictures. Directed and co-written by Pete Docter, with the screenplay being co written by Meg LaFauve and Josh Cooley, the film stars Amy Poehler, Phyliss Smith, Lewis Black, Mindy Kaling, Bill Hader, Kaitlyn Dias, Diane Lane, Kyle MacLachlan and Richard Kind as Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust, Fear, Riley, her parents Bill and Jill, and Bing Bong respectively. Released on June 19, 2015, the film was a major box office success grossing $858.8 million on a budget of $175 million. It also received critical acclaim from critics and audiences alike. According to Rotten Tomatoes, out of the 384 reviews aggregated, 98% gave a positive review with an average rating of 8.9/10. It also received numerous awards, including an Oscar for Best Animated Feature, several Outstanding Achievement Awards at the Annies, a Golden Globe for Best Animated Feature, and a Critic's Choice Movie Award for Best Animated Feature. It is often seen as a culturally significant film for mental health and the importance of expressing one's emotions. I saw this film for my birthday back in 2015 and I loved it right out of the gate. After multiple rewatches over the years, I stand by my personal opinion that this is a masterpiece of animation and visual storytelling. I'm overjoyed to talk about this film now that it finally has a sequel out.

The Plot: This film has 2 stories that are interconnected to one another, taking place in the mind of an 11 year old girl. On the outside, it's a bout a kid moving to a new city and being overwhelmed by the sudden changes happening all at once. On the inside, it's about Joy and Sadness trekking through Riley's mind, while along the way understanding each other's importance. Together, they create a very unique and engaging plot about growing up and learning to express yourself. The film brilliantly cuts between Riley, Joy and Sadness' journey, and what's happening at HQ to organically show what Riley's feeling and how her actions have psychological consequences. In addition to having powerful gut punching drama, it's also a very funny film with plenty of slapstick, goofy gags, and impressive word play that always gets me to belly laugh. Michael Giacchino also provides an enchanting, dreamlike score with great use of the piano and brass sections. The true highlight of the story is, of course, Pixar's masterfully crafted and innovative animation. The film makes Riley's mind so vibrant and expansive with Dream Productions and Imagination Land being major highlights. The outside world also looks very well done with the people looking very appealing, San Francisco looking grimy yet lived in, and Riley's old home in Minnesota looking very welcoming and colorful. Speaking of color, the use of colors in this film is nothing short of excellent from the radiant colors of Riley's memories, to Riley's clothes reflecting her current state of mind throughout the film. I also love how they use black and gray to represent faded memories and lack of emotion. If there's one word to describe Inside Out's story and animation, it's colorful.

Cast and Characters: This is an outstanding cast they brought on board for this film. Shout outs to the film's casting directors Natalie Lyon and Kevin Reher for picking out some excellent actors. Amy Poehler was phenomenal as Joy, perfectly capturing her bubbly and eccentric personality while also naturally showing her vulnerability and frustrations. Phyliss Smith sound perfectly dower and soft spoken as Sadness, yet at the same time making her sound so innocent and relatable. Lewis Black was the best match for Anger, making him sound crusty, cynical, and having a short fuse. Mindy Kaling brought in the right amount of sass and pettiness as Disgust and her comradery with the other emotions was brilliant. Bill Hader did a great job making Fear funny and relatable as a character. Kaitlyn Dias also deserve major props for her vocal performance as Riley, making her sound like a soft spoken but fun kid who goes through a great character arc in the film. Lastly, Richard Kind was the absolute surprise standout of the cast as Bing Bong as not only did he do a great job making him funny, but also made him relatable, selfless, a bit of an airhead, but also really resourceful. The cast did such a great job bringing these characters to life, with all of them being iconic and memorable in their own way.

Where It Falters: Outside of maybe adding another scene or 2 with Riley's life in Minnesota, I wouldn't change a thing with this film. It's one of those films where the only nitpick I have is I wanted more. Fortunately, that's remedied with the existence of the 2024 sequel. Coming out a couple years sooner wouldn't have been so bad either, but like I always say, quality>quantity.

Conclusion: There are a select few movies I consider to be a masterpiece. Inside Out is most certainly one of those movies. With outstanding writing, iconic characters, wonderful voice acting, masterfully crafted animation, and an enchanting score, it has more than earned its cultural significance. I cannot recommend this film enough, especially for those who struggle with expressing themselves such as yours truly. I promise this film will speak to you as it has for me after all these years. Thanks so much for reading and I'll see you soon ;)

[loukaiitis]

Kip Kinkel: Thurston High School

Summary of the 1998 Thurston High School Shooting committed by Kip Kinkel. Note: this is for informational and educational purposes only. Post is below the cut. 

Background: 

Kipland Philip Kinkel was born August 30th, 1982 to Bill and Faith Kinkel. He had one older sister, Kristin, who was about six years older than him. The family lived in Springfield, Oregon; Bill previously taught Spanish at Thurston High School and Lane Community College, and Faith was a Spanish teacher at Springfield High. Kip was described as a relatively normal teenager with some odd hobbies and interests. He was on the football team and enjoyed the music of Marilyn Manson and Nirvana. He was also known for being “obsessed” with bombs and guns; this fixation would only grow over time.

The Kinkel family did not seem to have any major conflicts. Kristin was a successful competitive cheerleader in college, and Bill and Faith were both popular teachers. However, Kip had some academic struggles. It was recommended that he repeat the first grade, and he was later diagnosed with dyslexia. Despite having difficulty in some academic areas, Kip thrived in science and math; in fact, he was placed in a “Gifted” program.

Mental Health / Warning Signs

Kip’s behavior began to change as he became a teenager. He was twelve years old when he began hearing voices in his head. The first time it happened, he was walking home from school; according to Kip, a male voice told him, “You need to kill everyone, everyone in the world.” When he could not find the source of the voice, he panicked. He ran to his house, grabbed the rifle he received for his birthday, and hid in his bedroom until he did not hear the voice. Soon, one voice developed into two, and then three. These voices were all male voices and would talk to each other: either to fight or to work together to manipulate Kip. These voices terrified him, and he tried to make sense of them. However, his conclusions were all based in paranoia.

“I believed that the Disney corporation was working in conjunction with the U.S. government, and they had planted a chip in my head and so the voices were coming from this chip,” - Kip Kinkel (2021)

This paranoia developed rapidly, but he went to great lengths to hide it from others. He began believing that foreign countries would invade and kill him. These fears led him to have an increased interest in weapons.

 In seventh grade, he expressed an interest in building bombs and tried to obtain books such as the Anarchist’s Cookbook. He obtained a shotgun from a friend during this time as well. Faith Kinkel discovered his plans to obtain weapon-related books and grew concerned. Despite knowing about Kip’s violent interests, she did not intervene. It wasn’t until Kip started getting into legal trouble that some action was taken. In eighth grade, Kinkel and his friends were caught shoplifting CDs at the local Target. Sometime after this incident, Kip and a friend were arrested in Bend, Oregon for hitting a car with a rock from a highway overpass. These incidents led to Kip being brought to a psychologist. Kip intended to keep the voices and delusions he was having a secret. Dr. Jeffrey Hick would see Kip for nine therapy sessions and noted that he showed “no evidence of delusional thinking or other thought disorder symptoms.” It was apparent that he had a strained relationship with his parents, especially after his sister (who acted as a mediator for the family) had moved out. Kip described eating and daily functioning as a chore. He was eventually diagnosed with depression and prescribed Prozac.

“I remember freaking out. I had this plan, and this is a mess, but I had this plan to get into the military because if I got in the military, then I could get into the CIA, and if I got in the CIA, then I could get the right connects to find whoever in the government that put this chip in my brain. And being diagnosed as depressed..  this was something the voices pushed.. meant that I would not be allowed into the military. And I would not be allowed to own guns.” - Kip Kinkel (2021)

During the time of these counseling sessions (January 20th - July 30th 1997), Kip was suspended twice in late April. Despite this, he was seemingly progressing well in counseling; it seemed that Kip’s depression and anger were under control. Because of this, his father allowed him to purchase a 9mm Glock with his own money (under the agreement he would not be able to use it without his father’s supervision). In an attempt to bond, Kip and his father would go target shooting. Soon after, Kip purchased more guns: a .22 pistol from a friend (which he kept hidden) and a .22 semiautomatic rifle that his father allowed him to purchase. Kip’s obsession with explosives grew just as his obsession with guns did. In class, he gave a descriptive speech about the process of building pipe bombs with detailed illustrations.

Expulsion:

On May 20th, 1998, Kip was going to purchase another gun, a .32 caliber semi-automatic pistol, from a friend; they arranged the day before for Kip to purchase it at school. Kip paid $110 for the gun and kept it in his locker. However, this gun was stolen from the friend’s father. The father contacted the school, concerned that one of his guns was taken by one of his son’s friends. A list of possible suspects was given to Detective Warthen, but Kip’s name was not listed. After speaking to other students, Warthen questioned Kip about the gun. He confessed and was arrested, along with the friend he purchased the gun from. According to Detective Warthen, Kip was extremely worried about what his parents would think of him being charged with a felony. Bill Kinkel drove Kip home from the police station. They stopped at Burger King; Bill left Kip inside the building while he ate in the car. Kip felt as though his fears had become a reality.

“It was no longer, ‘I need to get this gun to protect myself from these very specific threats.’ Everything was a threat, everything was evil, everything was ugly, I got to the point where there was a mantra that the voices were saying, but also that I was experiencing, which was that I had to commit the crimes that I committed. The sense that I had no other choice was overwhelming. It became my reality.” - Kip Kinkel (2021)

Shooting: 

According to Kip, the voices in his head continued to get louder and more unbearable. The voices he was hearing were telling him to kill his father. Around 3pm on the same day as his expulsion, Kip grabbed his .22 rifle and shot his father in the back of the head while he was drinking coffee in the kitchen. Kip dragged the body of his father to the bathroom and covered him with a sheet. Between 3pm and 6:30pm, Kip’s home phone received numerous calls: a call from an English teacher at Thurston High School looking to speak to Bill, a call from a friend of Kip asking about Bill, and a call from one of Bill’s Spanish students asking about his absence. Kip gave vague, short answers to these calls before hanging up. The final call was between Kip and two of his friends. During this call, Kip explains that he did not know that the gun was stolen, and that he had no plans to use it. According to the friends on this call, he was impatiently waiting for his mother to come home and stated that “It's over...Everything's over... it's done... Nothing matters now."

Around 6:30pm, Faith Kinkel was in the garage, getting out of her car. Kip entered the garage, told her that he loved her before shooting her twice in the back of the head, three times in the face, and once in the chest. Kip covered her body with a sheet. That night, the voices convinced him that more people needed to die.

“I know it’s really hard for people to accept and understand, but there was something very clear inside me... like suicide wasn’t an option for me until I had done this thing that they were telling me to do. And they had promised me that once I did this thing I could kill myself.” - Kip Kinkel (2021)

The following morning, May 21st, 1998, Kip dressed himself in a black trench coat and packed his .22 caliber semiautomatic rifle, the 9mm Glock, and .22 caliber semiautomatic pistol into his backpack, along with ammunition. He taped a bullet to his chest (an extra bullet to kill himself, in case he ran out of ammunition) and a hunting knife to his leg. He drove himself to Thurston High School in his mother’s Ford Explorer.

Kip parked a block away from the school and walked through the back parking lot to enter the school. In a hallway near the school’s cafeteria, Kip shot two boys, Ben Walker and Ryan Attebury with the rifle; Walker being shot in the face and Attebury on the side of his face. He continued down the hallway to the cafeteria, where he shot the remainder of the 50-round clip. Determined to keep shooting, Kip tried to use his Glock, but he was tackled by five students after one shot. Two students were killed: Ben Walker and Mikael Nickolauson. Ryan Attebury, along with 24 others, survived their injuries. As Kip was arrested, he stated he just wanted to die or be killed. 

At the police station, Kip spoke to Detective Al Warthen. He was questioned about the moments leading up to the shooting, and Kip confessed to the murder of his parents. (Most of this recorded confession can be found online). Warthen left the room momentarily, and Kip managed to grab the knife he had taped to his leg. When Warthen returned, Kip yelled at Warthen to kill him before approaching him with the knife. Warthen escaped the room and locked Kip inside; He and another officer sprayed pepper spray into the room in an attempt to disarm Kip. 

As detectives entered the Kinkel’s house, “Liebestod”, a song featured on the CD soundtrack of Romeo + Juliet, could be heard on repeat at a blasting volume. Upon entering the house, detectives found explosives in crawl spaces, the bodies of Bill and Faith, and a note confessing the murder of the Kinkel parents.

“I have just killed my parents! I don't know what is happening. I love my mom and dad so much. I just got two felonies on my record. My parents can't take that! It would destroy them. The embarrassment would be too much for them. They couldn't live with themselves. I'm so sorry. I am a horrible son. I wish I had been aborted. I destroy everything I touch. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I didn't deserve them. They were wonderful people. It's not their fault or the fault of any person, organization, or television show. My head just doesn't work right. God damn these VOICES inside my head. I want to die. I want to be gone. But I have to kill people. I don't know why. I am so sorry! Why did God do this to me. I have never been happy. I wish I was happy. I wish I made my mother proud. I am nothing! I tried so hard to find happiness. But you know me I hate everything. I have no other choice. What have I become? I am so sorry“ - Kip Kinkel’s written confession

Trial:

On June 16th, 1998, Kip Kinkel was indicted with 58 felony charges, including four counts of aggravated murder that he was originally charged with. Kip spent approximately 18 months in solitary confinement. He was kept in a juvenile detention center until being transferred to an adult county jail after his 16th birthday. Kip was evaluated by different doctors that came to the shared conclusion that he showed signs of paranoid schizophrenia. Due to his age, he was not given a formal diagnosis and was only given medication for a brief period of time. During his confinement, the voices only gained more control over Kip. 

Just days before the trial, Kip decided to plead guilty instead of going forward with an insanity defense. He felt that a mental institution would be just as bad as prison, and he wanted to avoid a stressful trial in hopes that the voices would not bother him more than they already were. 

During the sentencing, survivors, family members of the victims, and doctors testified. Many called for the harshest sentence possible. When Kristin Kinkel tried to console her brother and block out the anger surrounding him, he allegedly said, “No, I owe it to them to listen.” Kip’s defense team attempted to get a lighter sentence due to his age and mental instability. However, the notoriety of the case led to Kip receiving the harshest sentence for a juvenile. On November 2nd, 1999, Kip Kinkel was sentenced to 111-years in prison without the possibility of parole. He apologized to the survivors and families of the victims.

Appeals / Recent News:

Kip and his legal team have made multiple attempts to appeal his sentence, with no success. However, Kip has made significant progress in his life in prison. He earned his degree in global studies in 2007 and has worked as a clerk in the prison library, a yoga instructor and an electrician. Kip’s mental health has improved with the help of proper medication and therapy. He continues to advocate for criminal justice reform today. In the summer of 2021, Kip Kinkel gave his first and only interview for an article by HuffPost.

“It’s hard for me to be able to say that because, so clearly, I had so many other choices. But in that time, that’s the horror of becoming fixated in a psychotic way... I felt like I didn’t want to do what I was going to do, I had to do it. That’s what was going on in my head.” - Kip Kinkel, speaking about his crimes

[zhenni12]

okay I’m making a list

Thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com stuff you can input below the cut (as much as I can find anyways). I’m not gonna say what they do unless necessary.

Dipper

Mabel

mason

Stan-click it a bunch of times. Then click “how he defeated me” a bunch of times.

ford/sixer

divorce/breakup

bill/cipher/bill cipher/llib- Wikipedia page for triangle. I read the whole thing. I thought there would be a code. There wasn’t. rubber hose

love ya bro- picture that Stan drew of him and ford on their boat. On the back there’s a code that says “wanna keep notes from parents and cops? Here’s a note: kings of New Jersey!” kings of New Jersey pacifica

platinum paz

Alex hirsch

wendy

abuelita

waddles

clone/tyrone

Giffany (click multiple times)

weirdmageddon

craz/xyler

mcgucket/fiddleford

disney

mystery

question/answer

love/boyfriend (I feeeeeel like it’s Ariel narrating. Cannot confirm. But it kinda sounds like her.)

reality/the universe

triangle

cursed

curse wittebane

titans blood

tantrum

scalene/scrimbles

euclydia

suck it merlin

lies

sorry

mystery shack

book of bill

gravity falls

season 1/2/3

just fit in

dorito (it will jumpscare you. Just wait.)

baby bill

not a phase

theraprism

death

life

fordtramarine

booberry

blind eye

family matters

axolotl

journal 3

morality

shave your grandma

paper is book skin

even his lies are lies

gun

god/help me

ducktective

tad strange

Toby determined

fbi/cia

one eyed king

pinata

cryptogram codex

disco girl/babba (it WILL get stuck in your head)

portal

that’s just a/theory

you cant kill an idea

Vallis cineris—(from the corner of the room, visible in lightning flash)

forget the past

Hotxolotl

SevenEyes —code reads: “set coords to dimension R34LITY.”

R34lity

ad astra per aspera—(this is from the page that comes up when you click the stabbed book: it’s written backwards and in code. It’s Latin for ‘through hardships to the stars’)

monster

even his lies are lies

well well well being (click multiple times)

naitsuaf

oroborous

elon/gyatt

baaaa —code translated to “black sheep”

black sheep

sorry

dionarap—beware the imposter LOL (also what genius tried paranoid backwards??)

T. J. Eckleburg

tcennoc eht stod

NOW FOR THE REALLY LONG TRAIL THING THAT HAS US ALL STUMPED

riddle—yes—mountain dont—lyre liar—Harold’s ramblings—union made—29121239168518—grebley hemberdreck—rat—34166554—tinsel snake—torture mentally—Xgqrth—333 Sundapple lane, cozy creek, IL, 60714-94611—multilevel mark (which, I will say, was weird, because on the Theraprism page about bills crimes it lists “multilevel marketing” as a crime. Don’t know what’s up with that.)—…who defeated silas birchtree—Emmaline butternubbins—dispense treat now!

and that’s all I’ve got.

[citrusella-flugpucker]

So, I've long held that I always thought Ralph Breaks the Internet was... adequate. Not good. Not bad. Just... okay as a sequel. And I think, catching it on Disney Channel today, that I've figured out why that is.

It's because every one of its big ideas could be an interesting hook or element in a WIR sequel on its own.

Vanellope feeling stifled in her role and considering going Turbo (and how that's both similar to and different from previous documented instances of going Turbo (i.e. on the Sugar Rush end, there's no reason the game will go out of order if she happens to disappear from the random roster))

Ralph becoming heavily emotionally dependent on maintaining his friendship with Vanellope and keeping it as-is, and having to work on that

Ralph going Turbo (though maybe not like he did to cause Sugar Rush to go out of order--and doing it again after the first movie would need care to not feel like a rehash)

The internet (though I wonder if the particular execution of the internet not being as interesting may have to do with Rich Moore IIRC openly not really understanding the internet, circa 2012/2013)

Sugar Rush steering wheel breaking/figuring out what to do about it

Engagement farming (that part where Ralph tries to get TubeTube views, though here I mean it more broadly in the sense of "trying to get people to engage with something"--I could even see the specific engagement farming of dated-by-2018-standards memes feeling funny and timeless if the person doing them was not Ralph; for instance, if Litwak (who's past middle-age by RBTI) decided to try to do some to increase foot traffic at the arcade or something lol)

Viruses and glitches (though like Ralph going Turbo, it would need care to not feel like some sort of rehash of Vanellope and the Cy-Bugs)

The B plot with Hero's Cuties as parents/parent figures to the Sugar Rushians

Not Oh My Disney, the Princesses, or... nnnngh... the Slaughter Race Princess Song™. They just really only "work" in a very particular treatment of the plot and would be uninteresting or bad on their own (at least in the context of a Wreck-It Ralph sequel--maybe they'd be fine in a different movie entirely).

But anyway, the problem, I think, that brings the movie down to "adequate", that makes me not enjoy it as much or feel the magic I felt with WIR, is that the movie shoves all of these individually interesting thoughts together in a way that makes it feel cluttered and unfocused.

In essence, the movie can't pick a lane, I guess is what I'm saying. It wants to do too many things, and the way it does too many things results in an experience that doesn't feel as nice as the tightly interconnected A and B plots of the first movie. Whereas if it maybe picked fewer things from the list (or even just one thing) that it was able to execute well, maybe it would have felt like a nicer experience for WIR fans in particular?

TL;DR: Maybe RBTI would have felt nicer as a WIR sequel if it tried to do... less?

[the-gay-disney-games]

Round 1B: The Lion King 1 1/2 (2004) vs. Mulan (1998)

Propaganda:

The Lion King 1 1/2:

“This movie is about Timon and Pumbaa raising a child together”

“Just 2 dudes raising their son and dealing with commitment issues. The movie heavily leans into the bit that Timon and Pumba are like a couple. Timon is voiced by gay icon Nathan Lane. This movie was my childhood.”

Other propaganda for the original movie with the same idea:

“Simba was literally raised by a gay couple (Timon and Pumba…Timon even literally wears drag in the movie)”

“Timon and Puumba are a queer couple that raised simba into adulthood. Scar is a mean gay. Nuff said”

“Timone and Pumbaa are Simba's gay adoptive dads.”

Mulan:

“Trans awakening for so many of us”

“Well Mulan gives off very non-binary vibes”

“Literally listen to the music also Li Shang”

“just what your intro post said - Milan being trans (or gnc) coded and Li Shang being bi coded. like come on do i even need to explain? I’ll just add that I was listening to “Reflection” on repeat cuz the lines “Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me?…When will my reflection show who I am inside?” we’re stuck in my head. So with that song on loop I decided to finally chop my hair short in true Milan fashion (ok that’s a lie, I didn’t do it myself, but the PRINCIPLE) so not only is Milan trans/gnc coded but I can’t be the only one the movie inspired to finally go for The Haircut or something else related. sry that’s very rambly”

“gnc. bisexual. what more could u want.”

“Both trans and gay coded. Shang was so into Ping that he couldn’t stand to execute him for his “crime”. Also includes drag saving the day!”

“This is less a competition for the queerest movie and more a competition for the second queerest movie. Just *look* at every aspect of Mulan and tell me it’s even a contest.”

“Not only is mulan super trans coded but Shang is definitly bi”

“I know it's the obvious pick, but Mulan is so gender and Shang is so bi. 💯💯💯”

“Mulan is very trans coded. Li Shang is totally bi. Dude absolutely had a thing for “Ping” before learning he was actually a woman (Mulan). Also watching that movie as a young egg made me feel less alone about the fact that I didn’t fit into the “girl” role everyone around me pushed me into. Mulan was kind of my hero and sometimes listening to Reflection makes me tear up a little bit because it’s such a mood but also such a TRANS mood. It’s probably my favorite Disney movie song. “Why is my reflection someone I don’t know” made me THINK as a kid. Disney may be evil but they did the world a great service with Mulan.”

“It is obvious why”

“If movies could turn you trans this one did it to me”

“I mean I assume this one is going to be there, but what if we all think “oh everyone is going to put mulan so I won’t” and then nobody does?”

“it’s mulan”

“Gender”

“Mulan is so trans, however you want to read her (as a trans man, genderqueer, genderfluid, etc.) and Shang is hella bi. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk”

“This movie is SOOOOO trans coded. Captain Li is a bisexual icon. As an Asian queer person I have sat and cried to Reflection by Lea Salonga while staring in a mirror too many times to count. Can I be my authentic self without making my parents who I love hate me? It's too good.”

“My little asian tboy awakening”

“Can be read as transmasc- he finds his true purpose/calling in life by presenting as male- or as transfem- she goes against everyone’s expectations for her by revealing her true self as a woman. A very trans movie. Also just a very good movie in general.”

[sadgirlnoga]

hot fvcking take but i feel like we should reserve the phrase "'ruined my childhood" for cases where either the form of media had a bunch of questionable content, offensive stereotypes and mistreatment on set(in the case of a show, musical, movie etc.) and/or if the creator ended up being a sh1tty person. NOT when the creator/company behind the show decide to create a modern interpretation of the franchise. bc idk about you, but my childhood was ruined when i found out that Dan Schneider was a p3d0ph1le and Butch Hartman was an abl31st, not when Disney casted Halle Bailey to play Ariel in the live action Little Mermaid movie last year, or when the female Ghostbusters movie came out in 2016(despite what middle school me in 2019 would've wanted you to believe), or when Lois Lane had short hair in My Adventures With Superman. keep in mind i was raised as an ashki jewish boy with gen x parents. Ariel was my trans awakening, my dad used to tell me the entire ghostbusters plot as a bedtime story and even had a CD with the theme song on it, and i used to consume so much DC media i even had justice league and young justice movie CDs from blockbuster. the fact that yt aess millennial men pay their bills by b1tching and m0aning about how every single time they see something their parents thought was "demonic" adapt over the years, their inner child unalives inside and that they have life so hard bc capitalism isnt pandering to them anymore is absolutely dystopian to me. meanwhile some of us are here trying to reflect back on our pasts, wondering wether or not some scenes from our favorite cartoons may have fvcked us up.

[comfort-clubhouse]

NEW Comfort Characters List!!!

Oggy and Olivia (Oggy and The Cockroaches)

Little Miss Sunshine, Little Miss Shy, Little Miss Tiny, Little Miss Splendid, Little Miss Dotty and Little Miss Hug (Little Miss)

Mr Happy, Mr Nonsense and Mr Impossible (Mr Men)

Mr Quiet, Mr Scatterbrain, Mr Funny and Little Miss Giggles (Mr Men Show)

Hello Kitty, Cinnamoroll, Keroppi, Chococat, Gudetama, Fifi, Mimmy White, Mama White, Papa White, Grandma White, Grandpa White, and Julianna Scott (Sanrio)

My Melody, Kuromi and My Sweet Piano (Sanrio and Onegai My Melody)

Pusheen (Pusheen the Cat)

Shirousa, Kurousa, Strawberryusa, Blueberryusa, Momousa, Vanilla, Aousa, Pandausa, Balletusa and Primausa (Sugarbunnies)

Miffy (Miffy)

ENA (ENA Season 1 and Dream BBQ)

Moony, Hourglass Dogs and Shepherd (ENA)

Humf, Humf's Parents, Uncle Hairy and Flora (Humf)

SCP-049 SCP-999, SCP-131 and SCP-053 (SCP)

Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Tabi, Carol, Sunday, Hex, QT, Nikusa, Solazar, Annie, Garcello, Rascal, Chris, Sarvente, Ruv, Selever, Rasazy, Pom Pom, Ash, Cassette Girl, Dr Springheel and Nikku (Friday Night Funkin)

Boy and Girl (Friday Night Funkin - Twinsomnia)

Tankman (Tankmen)

Soft Boyfriend and Soft Mouse (Friday Night Funkin - Soft)

Shinto (Friday Night Funkin - Lullaby)

Skid, Pump, Lila, Jaune, Robert, John, Streber and Bob Velseb (Spooky Month)

Hat Kid and Snatcher (A Hat In Time)

Taki (Friday Night Fever)

Charlie Dompler and Pim Pimling (Smiling Friends)

Lazlo, Edward and Gretchen (Camp Lazlo)

SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star, Sandy Cheeks, Gary, Plankton, Mindy, Mr Krabs and Karen Plankton (SpongeBob)

Mario (Mario and DIC Cartoon)

Luigi (Mario, DIC Cartoon and Super Mario Movie)

Yoshi (Mario and Super Mario World Cartoon)

Peach, Daisy, Wario, Bowser Jr, Boo, King Boo, Rosalina and Luma (Mario)

Bowser (Mario and Super Mario Movie)

Count Bleck and Tippi (Super Paper Mario)

Lumalee and Giuseppe (Super Mario Movie)

Bow and Watt (Paper Mario)

Koops (Paper Mario and The Thousand Year Door)

Polterpup (Luigi's Mansion)

Hellen Gravelly and Morty (Luigi's Mansion 3)

Rabbid Rosalina (Mario + Rabbids)

King Koopa (Mario DIC Cartoon)

Oogtar (Super Mario World Cartoon)

Sonic and Tails (Sonic, Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog and Sonic Movie)

Amy Rose, Dr Eggman, Cream, Cheese, Chao, Orbot, Cubot, Vanilla, Vector and Chip (Sonic)

Sage (Sonic Forces)

Zazz and Zavok (Sonic Lost World)

Tails Doll (Sonic R)

Knuckles, Tom Wachowski, Maddie Wachowski and Dr Robotnik (Sonic Movie)

Wes Weasley (Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog)

Po and Laa-Laa (Teletubbies)

Snorky and Fleegle (Banana Splits)

Rilakkuma (Rilakkuma)

Donutella (Donutella)

Captain N and Simon Belmont (Captain N the Game Master)

Rayman (Rayman and Animated Series)

Rayman/Ramon (Captain Laserhawk)

Globox, Grand Minimus and Ales Mansay (Rayman)

Betina and Flips (Rayman the Animated Series)

Red Guy, Duck Guy, Sketchbook, Colin, Lesley, Electracey and Bread Mother (Don't Hug Me I'm Scared)

Postman Pat and Jess (Postman Pat)

Fifi Forget-Me-Not (Fifi and the Flowertots)

Spud and Lofty (Bob The Builder)

Numbuh 3, Numbuh 5, Father, Monty Uno, Mushi Sanban, Maurice, Delightful Children from Down the Lane and Interesting Twins from Beneath the Mountain (Kids Next Door)

Bambi, Thumper and Faline (Disney's Bambi)

505, White Hat, Demencia and Black Hat (Villainous)

Goliath (Gargoyles)

Chudd Chudders, The Earl, T-Bone and DangerGrid Of Doom (Skatoony)

Kirby, Meta Knight, Ribbon and Elflin (Kirby)

Tootie and Plex (Yo Gabba Gabba)

Mio and Mao (Mio Mao)

Luz Noceda, Eda Clawthorne, Willow Park, King, Raine Whispers, Collector, Emperor Belos and Lilith Clawthorne (Owl House)

Anne Boonchuy, Marcy Wu/Darcy, Sasha Waybright, Sprig Plantar, King Andrias, Lady Olivia and Hop Pop Plantar (Amphibia)

Grim Reaper and Jack O Lantern (Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy)

Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Daisy Duck, Goofy, Clarabelle Cow, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit and Ortensia the Cat (Disney)

Mugman, Devil, Baroness Von Bon Bon, Sally Stageplay, Ms Chalice and King Dice (Cuphead Show)

MX (Mario 85 and Mario's Madness)

Lucas (Mario 85 and Mario's Monday Night Massacre)

Mario.EXE, Coronation Day Peach and GB (Mario's Madness)

Pac-Man and Inky (Pac-Man)

Gingerbread Man/Gingy (Shrek)

Matt, Tord, Edd, Tom, Eduardo, Zanta Claws and Ringo (Eddsworld)

Matilda (Ellsworld)

Pocoyo and Nina (Pocoyo)

Lord X, Curse of X, Hog, NormalCD and Majin Sonic (VS Sonic.EXE)

Mao Mao, Adorabat and Badgerclops (Mao Mao - Heroes of Pure Heart)

Edd/Double D and Nazz (Ed, Edd n Eddy)

Dawko, CookieSwirlC, Jaiden Animations, RRcherrypie, RME Music Channel, Kristers Viļums, Janet HQ, FrozenPhantom, Blazeplayz/All mighty hobo, king of creepypasta, NashiroThePenguin, 🌸..POKE_TV..🌸, []Kiara cutie❤️[], Fluffle Puff, Añćä, SMG4, Xx_Amanda_xX, SSGSS Marioftw, WiiLikeToPlay, Kitty Ashley, Marciplier, .anormalhuman, Jay productions, °•[PDC_FOREVER]•°, °Just_an_autistic_idiot°, DAGAMES, CG5, CK9C, PR!NC3 P!lLL, VanossGaming, Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, jacknjellify, AnimationEpic, Katie Ryan, Welp I'm Spooky, Rosanna Pansino, Or30, WolfyChu, SweetoToons, atsuover, Nicky Tate, Sr Pelo, VanillaHamHam, PedramDoesStuff, mashed, Ashley Nichols Art, Emirichu, GinjaNinjaOwO, ☆ShadowsFluffyChestFur☆, So Yummy, ThAt1!FnFfan, .ImSea, Knight, Sonrio the Hedgehog and king_dice3245 the hedgehog (YouTubers)

Robert Englund, Charles Martinet, Wendie Malick, Frank Welker, Keith David, Makiko Ohmoto, Kevin Michael Richardson, Clancy Brown, Jeffrey Combs, Tara Strong, Grey DeLisle, Michael Rosen Marty Grabstein, Jason Alexander, Mark Hamill, Greg Eagles, Mel Winkler, Tom Kenny, Joey D'Auria, Richard Horvitz, Lex Lang, Elsie Lovelock, Harry Hill, Susan Sheridan, Paul Schoeffler, Bill Nye, Justin Fletcher, Michael Jackson, Daft Punk, Marc Thompson, Brandon Rogers, Jonathan Freeman, Gilbert Gottfried and Brendan Blaber (Celebrities)

Wanda and Dark Laser (Fairly Oddparents)

Penny Ling (Littlest Pet Shop Series)

Sayori and Monika (Doki Doki Literature Club)

Gabriel (Ultrakill)

Raiden (Metal Gear Rising)

Garfield and Odie (Garfield)

Sam and Max (Sam & Max)

Spot (Spot The Dog)

Woolly and Tig (Woolly and Tig)

Raiden, Sub Zero and Scorpion (Mortal Kombat)

Francis (Felidae)

Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb)

Katz, Courage, Le Quack, Freaky Fred, Muriel Bagge, Computer, Bunny, Kitty and Black Puddle Queen (Courage The Cowardly Dog)

Bubbles and HIM (Powerpuff Girls)

Share Bear and Wish Bear (Care Bears)

Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty)

Zim (Invader Zim)

Komi Shouko, Najimi Osana, Komi Shuuko and Tadano Hitohito (Komi Can't Communicate)

Emily and Percy (Thomas the Tank Engine - Model)

Sunflower (Plants Vs Zombies)

Slappy (Goosebumps)

Lost Silver and Strangled Red (Friday Night Funkin - Lullaby)

Misfortune (Little Misfortune)

Hypno (Pokémon and Friday Night Funkin - Lullaby)

Jigglypuff, Pikachu, Darkrai, Mew, Buneary, Celebi, Jirachi, Riolu, Lucario, Manaphy, Latios, Latias, Piplup, Dwebble, Diancie, Wynaut, Togepi, Zorua, Minccino, Cinccino, Pawmi, Axew, Emolga, Chikorita, Torchic, Cosmog, Pachirisu, Komala, Ralts, Mudkip, Eevee, Sylveon, Altaria, Swablu, Quaxly, Misdreavus, Gengar, Audino, Iris, Alice, Alicia and Bianca (Pokémon)

Wall-E, EVE and M-O (Wall-E)

Six (Little Nightmares)

Maleficent (Disney's Sleeping Beauty)

Jaq and Gus (Disney's Cinderella - 1990s)

Pomni, Ragatha, Gangle, Jax and Caine (The Amazing Digital Circus)

The Cat (Coraline)

Optimus Prime (Transformers)

N and Cyn (Murder Drones)

Gizmo (Gremlins)

Charlie Morningstar, Angel Dust, Alastor, Nifty, Lucifer Morningstar, Rosie, Fat Nuggets, Husk, Keekee, Emily, Zestial and Velvette (Hazbin Hotel)

Blitzø, Moxxie, Millie, Stolas, Asmodeus, Fizzarolli, Paimon, Collin, Queen Bee-Zlebub, Vortex, Octavia, Oliver and Loona (Helluva Boss)

Frost Queen Cookie, Clover Cookie and Espresso Cookie, Onion Cookie, Squid Ink Cookie, Cream Puff Cookie and Parfait Cookie, Strawberry Crepe Cookie and Cherry Blossom Cookie (Cookie Run - Kingdom)

Scar and Lex Woods (Alien Vs Predator)

Giulia Marcovaldo and Luca Paguro (Luca)

Tanjiro Kamado, Nezuko Kamado and Zenitsu Agatsuma (Demon Slayer)

XR, NOS-4-A2, Zurg, and Ty Parsec (Buzz Lightyear of Star Command)

Woody, Buzz Lightyear, Jessie, Mr Potato Head and Mrs Potato Head, Slinky Dog, Buttercup, Dolly, Trixie, Bonnie Anderson, Bunny and Ducky (Toy Story)

Little Green Men (Toy Story and Buzz Lightyear of Star Command)

Peep (Peep and the Big Wide World)

Totoro (My Neighbour Totoro)

Goku, Chichi, Vegeta, Krillin, Beerus and Whis (Dragon Ball Z)

Master Crane and Lord Shen (Kung Fu Panda)

Scarecrow (Arkhamverse, The New Batman Adventures, Batman The Animated Series, Nolanverse, Fear State, Brave and The Bold, Injustice 2, Happy Halloween Scooby Doo, Harley Quinn Series and Tomorrow-Verse)

Mad Hatter, Baby Doll, The Ventriloquist, Scarface, and Alice (Batman The Animated Series)

The Joker (Batman The Animated Series and The Batman 2004 Series)

Ragdoll, Catwoman, Penguin and Riddler (The Batman 2004 Series)

Harley Quinn (Harley Quinn Series, Injustice 2 and MultiVersus)

Ghoul (Batman Beyond)

Question and Huntress (Justice League Unlimited)

Scream Queen (Batman - Brave and The Bold)

Red Hood and Green Arrow (Injustice 2)

Starfire (Teen Titans)

King Shark (Harley Quinn Series)

Jake, Mee Mow and Princess Bubblegum (Adventure Time)

Chikn Nuggit, Cheezborger, Slushi, Bezel and Cofi (Chikn Nuggit)

Dr Drakken (Kim Possible)

Elvira (Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark and Happy Halloween Scooby Doo)

Narrator (The Stanley Parable)

Medic and Sniper (Team Fortress 2)

Wheatley (Portal)

Peppino Spaghetti, The Noise, Vigilante and Fake Peppino (Pizza Tower)

Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, Flurry Heart, Princess Celestia, Apple Bloom, Granny Smith, Thorax, Discord, Ocellus and Silverstream (My Little Pony)

Apple Blossom, Strawberry Kiss, Kooky Cookie, Spilt Milk, Milk Bud, Dum Mee Mee, Sippy Sips, Choc and Chip, Buncho Bananas, Jessicake, Donatina and Peppa Mint (Shopkins)

Mr Stitchy and Clowny (PIGGY)

Screech and Seek (DOORS)

Orange (RAINBOW FRIENDS)

Agatha (Dark Deception)

Lambie (Doc McStuffins)

Fink, Shannon, Darrell, Professor Venomous, Lord Boxman and Red Action (O.K KO)

Pipsqueak and Grammy Norma (The Lorax)

Freddy Krueger (Nightmare On Elm Street - Original)

Jason Voorhess and Pamela Voorhess (Friday The 13th - Original)

Michael Myers (Halloween - Original)

Leatherface/Bubba Sawyer (Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Original)

Chop Top Sawyer (Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2)

Needlem0use/Sarah Henderson and Luther (Needlem0use)

Anton (ANTONBLAST)

Filburt Shellbach, Rocko Rama and Spunky (Rocko's Modern Life)

Pops, Eileen and Hi-Five Ghost (Regular Show)

Mirabel Madrigal, Pepa Madrigal, Antonio Madrigal and Bruno Madrigal (Encanto)

Meilin Lee (Turning Red)

Abby Park (Turning Red)

Bluey Heeler, Bingo Heeler, Chilli Heeler, Bandit Heeler, Muffin Heeler, Socks Heeler, Brandy Heeler, Radley Heeler, Frisky, Calypso, Rusty, Lila and Pom Pom (Bluey)

Lilo Pelekai, Stitch, Angel and Pleakley (Lilo and Stitch)

Rebecca Rabbit, Emily Elephant, Zuzu Zebra, Zaza Zebra and Edmond Elephant (Peppa Pig)

Brandy and Mr Whiskers (Brandy and Mr Whiskers)

Big and Small (Big and Small)

Holly Thistle and Nanny Plum (Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom)

Mort, Gia, Melman, Stefano and Alex (Madagascar)

Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private (Madagascar and Penguins of Madagascar)

Corporal (Penguins of Madagascar)

Scratch, Molly McGee and Libby Stein-Torres (Ghost and Molly McGee)

Spawn (Image Comics)

Cyan Fitzgerald (Todd McFarlane's Spawn)

Hades (Disney's Hercules)

Jafar, Iago and Genie (Disney's Aladdin)

Nasira (Disney's Aladdin in Nasira's Revenge)

Horned King (The Black Cauldron)

Kissy Missy, Boogie Bot, Bunzo Bunny, Candy Cat, Hoppy Hopscotch and Dogday (Poppy Playtime)

Moon Knight and Mr Knight (Moon Knight)

Peni Parker (Spider Man - Into the Spider Verse)

Doctor Octopus, Vulture, Electro, Shocker, Tinkerer and Aunt May (Spectacular Spider Man)

Eddie Brock/Venom (Venom)

Baby Groot and Rocket Raccoon (MCU's Guardians of the Galaxy)

Jeffrey the Land Shark (It's Jeff)

Karen McCormick (South Park)

Butters Scotch (South Park)

Penny Proud, Oscar Proud and Suga Mama (The Proud Family)

Mike/Svetlana/Manitoba Smith/Mal, Zoey Izzy, Cameron, Jasmine and Chris McLean (Total Drama)

Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Peridot, Rainbow Quartz, Greg and Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe)

Chiaki Nanami, Korekiyo Shinguji, Monokuma and Monomi/Usami (Danganronpa)

Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury, Artemis, Luna and Diana (Sailor Moon)

Secret History Tails and Secret History Mario (Mashed)

Roy O'brien (ROY)

Loid Forger, Yor Forger, Anya Forger and Bond Forger (Spy X Family)

Pixie, Brutus, Lola and Hugo (Pixie and Brutus)

Felix and King Candy/Turbo (Wreck It Ralph)

Isabelle, Timmy Nook, Tommy Nook and Rover (Animal Crossing)

Gidget, Chloe and Daisy (Secret Life Of Pets)

Ember Lumen (Elemental)

Sun, Moon and Eclipse (Five Nights At Freddy's - Security Breach)

Foxy (Five Nights At Freddy's)

Funtime Freddy and Circus Baby (Five Nights At Freddy's - Sister Location)

Bill Cipher, Mabel Pines, Wendy Corduroy, Stan Pines and Ford Pines (Gravity Falls)

Eric Duckman and Cornfed Pig (Duckman)

Slender Man, Splendor Man, Trenderman, Jeff The Killer, Laughing Jack, Sally and Lulu (Creepypasta)

Elmo, Cookie Monster, Big Bird and Julia (Sesame Street)

Ms Piggy, Swedish Chef and Gonzo (Muppets)

Bubble and Ice Cube (Battle For Dream Island)

Four, X, Six, Lollipop and Cake (Battle For BFB)

Winner, Price Tag, PDA and Conch Shell (The Power Of Two)

Lightbulb, Paintbrush, MePad, Bow/Bot, Paper, Test Tube, Silver Spoon, Clover, Goo and Candle (Inanimate Insanity)

Tune (Object Mayhem)

Shelly (Brawl Of The Objects)

Brownie (Battle For Isle Of Sleep)

Orbulon, Ashley, Kat, Ana, 9-Volt and Penny Crygor (Warioware)

Wallace, Gromit and Feathers McGraw (Wallace and Gromit)

Wendolene Ramsbottom (Wallace and Gromit - A Close Shave)

Lady Tottington and Hutch (Wallace and Gromit - Curse of The Were-Rabbit)

Penny Fitzgerald (The Amazing World of Gumball)

Sans, Papyrus, Toriel, Mettaton, Napstablook, Asriel and Alphys (Undertale)

Ralsei and Jevil (Deltarune)

Grizzly Bear, Panda Bear and Ice Bear (We Bare Bears and We Baby Bears)

Chloe Park (We Bare Bears)

Agent Trout (We Bare Bears Movie)

Jared (We Baby Bears)

Flaky, Flippy, Sniffles, Lammy and Cub (Happy Tree Friends)

Neo Cortex, Aku Aku, Dingodile, Pasadena O'Possum, N-Gin, Lani-Loli, Kapuna-Wa and Crash Bandicoot (Crash Bandicoot)

Ochaco Uraraka, Momo Yaoyorozu, Eijirou Kirishima, Tsuyu Asui, Hawks, Mirio Togata, Present Mic, Shota Aizawa, Ms Joke, Eri, Kota Izumi, Tomura Shigaraki, Toga Himiko, Dabi, Inko Midoriya, Ordinary Woman, Spinner and Tenya Ida (My Hero Academia)

Claire Foley (Professor Layton)

Sam (Trick R Treat)

Hanazuki, Kiyoshi, Yellow Hemka, Pink Hemka, Light Blue Hemka, Blue Hemka and Raspberry Hemka (Hanazuki)

Bugs Bunny, Tweety Bird and Marvin the Martian (Looney Tunes)

Zardy (Zardy's Maze)

Flapjack (Misadventures of Flapjack)

Charles Calvin, Right Hand Man, Reginald Copperbottom, Dmitri Petrov and Ellie Rose (Henry Stickmin)

Mr Shark, Mrs Tarantula, Diane Foxington and Wolf (The Bad Guys)

Miraitowa and Someity (Tokyo 2020 Mascots)

Bing Dwen Dwen and Shuey Rhon Rhon (Beijing 2022 Mascots)

Meggy Spletzer, Tari, Melony, Karen, Axol and Mr Puzzles (SMG4)

Blackie (Nightmare Cafe)

Dr Nefarious (Ratchet and Clank)

EteleD/Henry Morris and Corrupted Mii/Austin Sanders (Wii Deleted You)

Connor and Hank Anderson (Detroit - Become Human)

Poppet, Luvli, Jeepers, Shishi, Sleepypaws, Baby Rox, Roxy, Holga, Suey, Tomba, Kissy, Fifi, Marsha and Dr Strangeglove (Moshi Monsters)

PukeyHurlC (Grossery Gang)

Mama, Nastasia and Ichigo (Cooking Mama)

Yuto (Babysitting Mama)

Moomintroll, Snorkmaiden, Snork, Moominmamma, Moominpappa, Snufkin and Joxter (Moomin)

Komasan, Komajiro and Whisper (Yo-Kai Watch)

Hatsune Miku, Kasane Teto and Kagamine Rin (Vocaloid and UTAU)

Tuffy and Tyke (Tom and Jerry)

Misty (Tom and Jerry Show - 2014)

Shaggy Rogers, Scooby Doo and Fred Jones (Scooby Doo)

Madelyn Dinkley (Scooby Doo! Abracadabra)

F, Y and P (Alphabet Lore)

Sammy Lawrence, Boris, Tom and Allison Angel (Bendy and The Ink Machine)

Bendy (Bendy and The Dark Revival)

Sulley, Mike Wazowski and Boo (Monsters Inc)

Puss in Boots, Kitty Softpaws and Perrito (Puss in Boots)

Three Diablos (Puss In Boots - The Three Diablos)

Jack Horner and Death Wolf (Puss In Boots - The Last Wish)

Toothless, Ruffnut Thornston, Tuffnut Thornston, Valka Haddock, Cloudjumper, Gobber, Hiccup Haddock III and Astrid Hofferson (How to Train Your Dragon)

Bender (Futurama)

Wednesday Addams and Enid Sinclair (Wednesday)

Molly Horren, Milly Mandara and Chloe Ventura (Milly, Molly)

Major Dr Ghastly and General Skarr (Evil Con Carne)

Unikitty and Puppycorn (Unikitty)

Viridi (Kid Icarus - Uprising)

Scrooge McDuck (Ducktales)

Della Duck, Dewey Duck, Manny The Gargoyle and Lena Sabrewing (Ducktales – 2017)

David Jones, Zoe Kusama, Cathy Turner, Samuel King, Eduardo Ramirez, Amy Young, Maddie O'Malley, Charles Dupont, Sunny and Margaret Littlewood (Criminal Case)

Tutter (Bear in the Big Blue House)

Chowder and Mung Daal (Chowder)

Shaun (Shaun The Sheep)

Timmy (Shaun The Sheep and Timmy Time)

Mittens, Otus and Apricot (Timmy Time)

Jack Skellington, Sally, Zero and Oogie Boogie (The Nightmare Before Christmas)

Emily (Corpse Bride)

Jack Sparrow, Hector Barbossa and Davy Jones (Pirates of the Caribbean)

Hank J Wimbleton, Tricky, Sanford, Deimos and Jebus (Madness Combat)

Happiness Hank (Happiness Apotheosis)

Kedamono and Popee (Popee the Perfomer)

Mama Imelda (Coco)

Frankie Stein, Dracalaura, Catty Noir, Abbey Bominable and Twyla (Monster High)

Madeline Hatter, Kitty Cheshire, Crystal Winter, Bunny Blanc and Lizzie Hearts (Ever After High)

Tessa, Mags, Eye Brawl, Dr Krankcase, Flynn and Hugo (Skylanders)

Bart Simpson, Maggie Simpson, June Bellamy, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, Sideshow Bob and Ned Flanders (The Simpsons)

Sebastian and Ursula (Disney's Little Mermaid)

Melody (Disney's Little Mermaid II - Return to the Sea)

Cruella De Vil and Lucky (Disney's 101 Dalmatians)

Mrs Brown (Mrs Brown's Boys)

Joe Swanson and Jasper (Family Guy)

Cleveland Brown (Family Guy and The Cleveland Show)

Tunip (Octonauts)

Chuck and Matilda (Angry Birds)

Leonard Mudbeard, Courtney, Zeta and Debbie (Angry Birds Movie)

Nikki, Max, Nerris, Ered and Gwen (Camp Camp)

Victor Creel and Mike Wheeler (Stranger Things)

Skeletor and Orko (He-Man)

Margaret the Mole and Felix the Fish (Andy's Apple Farm)

Mushu (Disney's Mulan)

Iroh, Suki, Momo and Toph (Avatar The Last Airbender)

Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Alya Cesaire, Gabriel Agreste and Nathalie Sancoeur (Miraculous Ladybug)

Evil Queen/Grimhilde, Dopey and Snow White (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)

Bjorn, Splork and Kat Tut (Peggle Deluxe)

Nigel Thornberry (Wild Thornberrys)

Quasimodo, Esmeralda, Claude Frollo, Clopin Trouillefou, Hugo, Victor and Laverne (Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame)

Lumiere, Fifi and Chip (Disney's Beauty & The Beast)

Klaus (American Dad)

Pinocchio, Figaro, Honest John, Gideon and Geppetto (Disney's Pinocchio – 1940)

Winnie The Pooh, Tigger, Piglet and Eeyore (Winnie The Pooh)

Mog and Owl (Meg & Mog)

Captain Hook and Smee (Disney's Peter Pan)

Kronk, Yzma and Kuzco (Emperor's New Groove)

Trixie and Captain Cuddlepuss (Creature Comforts)

Wally Darling, Julie Joyful and Barnaby B Beagle (Welcome Home)

Rocky, Babs and Mrs Tweedy (Chicken Run)

Konata Izumi (Lucky Star)

Lucy Loud, Lynn Loud and Luan Loud (Loud House)

Rita and Spike (Flushed Away)

Nugget (Super Meat Boy Forever)

Om Nom, Om Nelle and Nibble Nom (Cut The Rope and Om Nom Stories)

Swampy and Allie (Where's My Water and Swampy's Underground Adventures)

Linus van Pelt and Woodstock (Peanuts)

Dory and Deb (Finding Nemo)

Destiny (Finding Dory)

Billy Bear, Bonnie Bear and Mr Pumpkin (Butlins Mascots)

Grogu and Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)

Wally/Waldo (Where's Wally - 1991 Series)

Mr Tumble and Granddad Tumble (Something Special)

Sackboy (Little Big Planet)

Vex (Sackboy - A Big Adventure)

Parappa and Sunny (Parappa The Rapper)

Danger Mouse and Penfold (Danger Mouse)

Baymax (Big Hero 6)

Otto, Antauri and Circus of Ooze Crew (Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go)

Sid, Manny, Granny and Peaches (Ice Age)

Arnold (Hey Arnold)

Yumeko Jabami (Kakegurui)

Lucas (Lucas The Spider)

Marisa Kirisame (Touhou)

Noddy, Fuse, Naughticorns(Bling, Hoof and Cloppycorn), Pat Pat and Dinah Doll (Noddy)

Toto (Dr Panda)

Wander and Lord Dominator (Wander Over Yonder)

Alice Green, Tilly Green, Cricket Green and Bill Green (Big City Greens)

Ty The Tasmanian Tiger and Maurie (Ty the Tasmanian Tiger)

Larry the Cucumber (Veggitales)

Lady Dimitrescu and Karl Heisenberg (Resident Evil - Village)

Norrie and Peggee (Hey Duggee)

Kratos (God Of War)

Tiana, Charlotte La Bouff and Dr Facilier (Princess and The Frog)

Berry, Dreamy, Lily, Petite and Daisy (Palace Pets)

Ms Featherbon (Palace Pets - Whisker Haven)

Simon and Fionna (Fionna and Cake)

Gordi and Maria (Unicorn Wars)

Zippy and Bungle (Rainbow)

Dougal (Magic Roundabout – 1970)

Benrey, Dr Coomer and Tommy (Half Life VR)

Shellsea (Fish Hooks)

Jude (6teen)

Susie and Kimi (Rugrats – 1991)

Jenny Wakeman (My Life as a Teenage Robot)

Skulker and Walker (Danny Phantom)

Zippy (TUFF Puppy)

Rango and Beans (Rango)

Calvin McMurray/Freckle and Mordecai Heller (Lackadaisy)

Dee Dee (Dexter's Laboratory)

Master Shake (Aqua Teen Hunger Force)

Pugsley and Norma Khan (Dead End - Paranormal Park)

Stocking Anarchy (Panty and Stocking)

Ongo (Jelly Jamm)

Bubble (Fundamental Paper Education)

Darkwing Duck and Quackerjack (Darkwing Duck)

Snorky and Fleegle (The Banana Splits)

Fear, Anger and Sadness (Inside Out)

Anxiety and Embarrassment (Inside Out 2)

Naven Nuknuk and Zora Salazar (Epithet Erased)

Captain (Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists)

Astral (Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal)

Benrey and Tommy (Half Life VR)

Felix the Cat (Felix the Cat)

Kiff Timberlay (Kiff)

Vanity Smurf (The Smurfs)

Glendale (Centaurworld)

Bernie (Zig and Sharko)

Varian (Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure)

Wubbzy and Daizy (Wow! Wow! Wubbzy)

Fender Pinwheeler (Robots)

Joe Dalton (The Daltons)

Toaster (The Brave Little Toaster)

Hilda (Hilda)

Gizmo (Gremlins)

Cheshire (Alice In Wonderland - 2010)

Jiji (Kiki's Delivery Service)

Dick Dastardly and Muttley (Wacky Races & Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines)

[bombshelllblonde]

in honor of my recent disney trip:

rdr2 walt disney world modern au headcanons

(this accidentally got posted to my lesbian sex account so if you saw that…no you didn’t 🤠🥸)

-dutch is mad that the trip got booked in the first place. he is not a large crowd disney guy. he’s a “i need to sit with my back against the wall and plan our escape route” man. he is very angry that weapons are not allowed. it’s too expensive and he’s mad that they used the camp funds to pay for it.

-hosea is the disney dad. backpack full of snacks, sunscreen, cooling rags, the handheld fans that spray water, the batteries to replace the old ones in the handheld fans. you need tylenol? he’s got it. you’re lost and need to find the way to tomorrowland? he’s got the disney magic experience app up and ready for you. he has the itinerary written out perfectly and everyone has a copy. he has all the routes mapped out and he bought one of those “disneys best kept secrets” books. he used dutch’s credit card

-charles only ever wants to be in animal kingdom. he has the best luck with all of the animals; his calm presence always brings out everyone from their hiding spots. he knows all the fun facts about the animals and all the little kids think he works there, so he answers everyone’s questions. some disney parents want to give him a cast member compliment/shout out on the app but he just shrugs and says he doesn’t work there

-arthur is the head counter. he didn’t really want to go because he thought it was silly, but he is the one who is watching out for everyone. he assigned everyone a number in his head and he’s making sure they are all accounted for. when jack gets tired he throws him up onto his shoulders, and always has a cold water bottle available for any of the girls when they get too hot or thirsty

-john is all for the lightening lanes and scouring the app for the best rides. he forgets to add other people until abigail reminds him, but basically he has been booking himself on the big rides like tron, rockin roller coaster, tower of terror, etc. when he mentioned that he got the rides, arthur asked how many people he got them for and john only said he got a lightening lane for himself. abigail took his phone and john wasn’t allowed to use the app anymore

-javier is enamored with the princesses. he sees them all and isn’t creepy about them, but he thinks they’re all beautiful. jack isn’t interested in meeting the princesses at all so javier just sees them from afar and waves. he did walk by jasmine and he spoke spanish to her and made her swoon a little.

-in all the parks they have cooling stations where it’s just a giant machine that blows out cold misty water to cool down children. bill commandeered it. cast members have kicked him out but he manages to sneak back after shift change

-sean has been making sure that he takes jack to meet all the characters. he says he really wanted jack to meet timone from lion king, but in all honestly he and kieran made a bet to see if sean talked enough smack if timone would punch him in the face or not

-trelawny cries every time at the happily ever after fireworks in magic kingdom. he gets so many emotions and feels overwhelming joy at even the small parades (no i’m not projecting my own feelings onto trelawny rn 🙃)

-gaston flirts with ms grimshaw and it actually makes her blush. dutch feels rage and jealously almost immediately

“oh dutch he’s just playing a character!”

“susan, i don’t like the way he is speaking to you!!”

[sashascripta]

A cup of coffee (Luke x male!reader)

This is a request for @thewheat-thins69, hope you enjoy!

Luke pulled out his old roller-skates and eyed them, in a weird amalgamation of disdain and wonder. Rushed to his mind were memories of gliding down the pavement in his teen years, returning home from school, eager to see his dad. His teenage years were the very definition of a mixed bag. It was filled with dreams, hope and energy, the efforts of his wonderful parents, but then tragedy worked its cruel hands in the affair.

He shook off those memories, focusing instead on the wonder. On you. He was absolutely enraptured by you. You were the only person who could bring a cup of Weston's egregious coffee and only receive in turn a mild reproach.

You had started off as friends but Luke couldn't deny his ever-growing feelings for you. Once, as a joke, Lorelai proposed the two of you spent so much time together, you acted like a married couple. You both turned away from each other. He anticipated rejection or puzzlement on your face, you didn't know what to expect on his. When Lorelai noticed both of your forlorn yet hopeful expressions, she went: "Oh my god. Did I just inadvertently play matchmaker or ruin yet another friendship?"

"It's fine," Luke remembered brushing off in his cliched way. "I-I don't know if (Y/N)'s acquainted with your exasperating sense of humour, Lorelai. It probably caught him off guard."

Lorelai had shot an annoyed look Luke's way. "Hello? (Y/N) works at the inn. We spend many evenings laughing at your expense, appreciating my wonderful, perky, very welcome sense of humour." 

She'd turned to you in the middle. "That wasn't even my best work," she reminded you, only to notice how out-of-it you seemed. And by out-of-it, out of the friendly dynamic the three of you shared. Your attention was fixed on Luke, and he seemed to you the only person in the room.

In the way she quickly walked and talked, Lorelai also abruptly took the hint. "I should get going. Rory's home from Yale and claimed to have brought with her a pizza the size of our kitchen table. I didn't think we ever needed that thing but now it seems to have finally found its calling-okay, bye bye." She had stumbled out the door, awkwardly chuckling.

"Luke, I–"

"(Y/N)"

You spoke at the same time, emitting a chuckle that finally cut the tension in the air. "You first," you coaxed.

Luke looked caught off guard instead and swallowed nervously. "So, I-uh, I don't know what to say exactly. I'd be lying if I said I never thought about this, never thought about us. Or that I hadn't thought about this exact moment in my head either, but we're friends and I never wanted to ruin that. I know the move to Stars Hollow wasn't easy for you, and I can't blame you. This place would repel Walt Disney, for god's sake. But I-I can, very awkwardly, say that things here haven't been the same since I met you."

"Luke," you said.

"Wait," Luke interrupted, "before I lose my resolve. Would you like to go out sometime? I mean, can I take you out sometime? On a date."

You smiled, a wave of comfort running through you, at what you wished to transpire but never imagined would so perfectly unfold. However, when you saw Luke's nervous, pleading expression, you wanted to make this moment easier on you. "So long as it's at Weston's!" you teased, provoking another laugh from the both of you.

Now Luke was wistfully rolling back and forth his roller-skates on his apartment ground, thinking about the moment when everything fell in place. God, he neither thought he'd have to recruit Lorelai Gilmore as his wingwoman, nor be so pleased she was there that second.

He set off for the rink Taylor recently opened to compete with that of Woodbridge. He tried not to think about Taylor at that second, lest his mind fill with annoyance instead.

When he got to the rink, he looked round, only to discover how crowded it was. "Luke!" he heard a cheerful young girl's voice. It was Lane who skated up to him. "Come on in. We have a bet on which job Taylor hired Kirk for, and the largest sum is on concession stand!"

Luke resisted the inclination to roll his eyes at what Stars Hollow considered gambling but then spotted you walking in and absentmindedly patted Lane's shoulder. "You go ahead, I'll-uh, catch up." Confused, Lane agreed and skated off.

Luke met you close to the entrance. "Hey," you said with a smile that made his knees weak. You both lingered on the way to greet each other until you ended up in a bear hug. Luke's arms felt so strong and safe, like nothing, not even your pesky worries or doubts, could plague you at that moment.

"I have my skates right here," said Luke. "My feet grew exponentially when I was a kid, we had to buy new ones every few years. Then when I was 18, we seemed to hit a plateau, so I finally fit in these, still." He stopped. "And now I realised I spent the last twenty seconds talking bout shoes, I'm sorry."

You smiled. "No, don't be. I was going to rent but then Lorelai told me Taylor found three different loopholes to hike these prices up and bought a pair of these bad boys. If all goes well, perhaps I'll get to use them again." Luke grinned warmly, which immediately eased your worries. You realised the implication behind your last phrase meant that you were dreaming of a second date and proper future with Luke, but didn't want to be so presumptuous to assume Luke was on the same page. But his smile conveyed an understanding that you actually reassured him, rather than frighten him away.

"So how bout we take a few rounds? If you want a coffee or something, we can stop at the cafe. Or I can take you to Weston's. They do make a pie there which makes me stop thinking about how much butter they use in the crust," Luke rambled once again. When he started talking to you, he felt the need to both confide in you as much as he could in those few breaths and add the necessary provisions to his words, in case you got the wrong idea. He didn't want to ruin anything before you properly explored it.

You laughed, wondering if Luke would ever recognise how endearing he was in his nervousness. You were so sick of men who compensated for their insecurity with brazenness and ego, that Luke was a breath of fresh air. You could tease him and he wouldn't crack. He'd just smile and banter back. He could keep up with you and that felt so reassuring. Everything about him felt secure.

You both entered the rink and skated close to the edge, because everyone was gathered near the middle, in a huddle. You heard Babette argue with Taylor: "You're crazy! Why would you put Kirk in charge of guarding the door?"

You smiled. Stars Hollow was a unique place, that's for sure. But it was also so peaceful yet full of excitement. And it was a community, so people all helped each other and were there for each other, in a way they didn't bother to match in the city. 

You only half-paid attention when Taylor pushed that Kirk was the only one who could spot and stop a Litchfield spy, attempting to copy the design and layout of their rink, to beat it as the best in Connecticut.

Luke noticed your faraway look and said, "To have Taylor's problems." Humour was the way you bonded as friends so he assumed it would carry on in your relationship too.

You laughed politely, only partly in the loop on Luke and Taylor's incessant rivalry. When someone bumped into you and went on in a fashion inconceivable with the camaraderie of the town, Luke grabbed onto you with more haste than was necessary. "You okay?" he asked. His gruff voice had the surprising ability to both calm and ground you. "Why don't we get out of here?" He immediately blushed at the implication and quickly went back on his words: "I mean out of the rink, get you a coffee or something!"

You realised it was getting a bit rowdier, what with Kirk entering the circle and attempting to proclaim his winnings for having bet on himself. "It's rigged now, Kirk, you ruined everything!" Patty protested.

You and Luke walked back to the diner, silently enjoying each other's company. "Ah shoot," he said as you both ambled in. "I know you prefer the coffee at Weston's and I brought you here. Am I a cheap date or what?"

"I don't go to Weston's for the coffee. Yours is far superior."

"Really? Well, I thought everyone enjoyed their whipped cream disasters they call 'specialty,' but that may just be Lorelai and Rory."

You smiled. "There's a time and place for that, but daily, I prefer Luke-Luke's!" You stumbled on your words as well. Luke smiled, turning to pour your coffee and omit the glee on his face.

After you nursed your cup for a bit, Luke suggested you go upstairs and watch a movie, only to, midway on the staircase, remember he didn't own a television. Before he opened the door, he told you this, expecting you to want to return downstairs, but you diverted his expectations.

"No, let's stay. You'll make tea and you keep the good tea up here," you said. Luke hadn't dated a friend before, but he so enjoyed the different awkwardness that came with it. Gone was the embarrassment of having to share with a virtual stranger the intimacy of a couple, on a one-on-one date. What unfortunately lingered was the fear of saying the wrong thing and making it worse. But what was entirely new was knowing the person so well that you could predict what the wrong thing was to say. It is different, though. We're friends and we know each other, and I keep thinking I can't say the wrong thing. But I inevitably do, Luke's mind debated with itself.

He opened the door to the apartment and put the kettle on, while you made yourself comfortable on the sofa, rearranging the cushions the way you knew you liked it at home. You took a sip out of the diner-large cup and sighed in pleasure. Luke made coffee like no one else in Connecticut.

Luke watched you and smiled to himself. He brought his tea and you both finally fell back into comfortable banter and conversation. Neither of you were as nervous as you were when the date began, but the anticipation and slight wariness of saying the right thing remained.

You set your cup down on the coffee table and leaned into Luke slightly. He adjusted you so you were rested on his chest. I'm cuddling with Luke, you thought. I'm cuddling with Luke. You ignored the excitement in your chest and leaned in further. 

[inevitablemoment]

WILLOW OLSON - OC INFO

FULL NAME: Willow Brianna Olson

NICKNAMES: Will (by everyone), Willie Bree (by her parents)

FACECLAIM: Marilu Henner

FANDOM: Ghostbusters (1984-1989; 2021)

BIRTHDAY: February 11, 1952

ZODIAC SIGN: Aquarius

SEXUALITY: Demisexual

GENDER: Female (she/her/hers)

OCCUPATION: Waitress (1968-1970) || Summer performer in Branson (1968-1970) || Salesgirl at Macy's (1970-1974) || Actress, singer, and dancer (1968-currently)

BIRTHPLACE: St. Louis, Missouri

LIVES IN: St. Louis, Missouri (birth-age 18) || Branson, Missouri (age 16-18, summers) || New York City (age 18-currently)

NATIONALITY: American

FAMILY:

Raymond "Ray" Stantz (husband, married 1990)

Addison Stantz (daughter)

Natalie Stantz (daughter)

Grace Stantz (daughter) [adoptive]

Maxwell "Max" Olson (father, deceased 2000)

Eloise Olson [nee Finnegan] (mother, deceased 1996)

Suellen Nelson [nee Olson] (sister)

Michael Nelson (brother-in-law)

Michael Nelson, Jr. (nephew)

Beau Olson (nephew)

Abigail "Abbie" Olson [nee Prescott] (sister)

Margaret "Maggie" Olson (niece)

Elliot Olson (nephew)

Anna Klein [nee Olson] (sister)

Quinlan Klein (brother-in-law)

Anthony Klein (nephew)

Lindy Klein (niece)

Marcus Klein (nephew)

Jocelyn Klein (niece)

Gerald Stantz (father-in-law, deceased 1982)

Louisa Stantz [nee Crabtree] (mother-in-law, deceased 1982)

Carl Stantz (brother-in-law, deceased 2021)

Sandra Stantz [nee Foa] (sister-in-law)

Justin Stantz (nephew)

Zachary Stantz (nephew)

Lindsay Stantz (niece)

Jean Stantz [formerly Garland] (sister-in-law)

Evangeline Garland [nee Stantz] (niece)

Grace "Gracie" Finnegan (maternal aunt, deceased 1996)

Cathleen Spengler [nee Paige] (honorary sister-in-law)

Egon Spengler (honorary brother-in-law)

Callie Spengler (honorary niece)

Marie Spengler (honorary niece)

Trevor Spengler (honorary grandnephew)

Phoebe Spengler (honorary grandniece)

Peter Venkman (honorary brother-in-law)

Dana Barrett (honorary sister-in-law)

Oscar Venkman [born Wallance, formerly Barrett] (honorary nephew)

Eliana “Elly” Venkman (honorary grandniece)

Andrew Venkman (honorary nephew)

Kelly Venkman (honorary nephew)

Janine Melnitz (honorary sister-in-law)

Louis Tully (honorary brother-in-law)

Lily Tully (honorary niece)

MOODBOARD

CHARACTERISTICS: Ambitious, creative, friendly, kind, competitive, chatty, self-assured, mildly vain, dreamy, determined, protective, musical, desperately tries to be elegant and refined, somehow both extremely confident and not confident at all

LIKES: Performing, living in the city, wearing costumes, spending time with Ray and her daughters, babies, chocolate, Mandy Patinkin, Disney movies, Halloween, spooky stories

DISLIKES: The Spenglers (from 1993-2021), losing, Daisy Eagan (for "stealing" the Tony Award for Best Featured Actress in a Musical in 1991), altos, camping

WEAPON OF CHOICE:

Her rep book

Her makeup collection

Her wardrobe

Her impressive mezzo/soprano mix belting voice

Her dancing skills

OTHER PERSONAL INFO:

During summers in her last two years of high school, she performed for tourists in Branson, Missouri, living with her Aunt Gracie.

She met Cathleen Spengler when they were in an off-off Broadway production of Kiss Me, Kate; Cathleen was playing Katharine/Lilli Vanessi and Willow was playing Bianca/Lois Lane. The two struck up a friendship, and shortly after Cathleen gave birth to her second daughter Marie, she introduced Willow to her friend Ray Stantz. After a whirlwind courtship, the two tied the knot on Halloween 1990.

She was nominated for Best Featured Actress in a Musical at the Tony Awards in 1991 for her role as Sister Ruth in a musical adaptation of Black Narcissus, but lost to Daisy Eagan.

She would later win Best Leading Actress in 2001 for her role as Polly Kern in Red as the Curtain, a Drowsy Chaperone-style vaudeville satire mixed with the blood and guts of Chicago.

Both of her pregnancies were rough-- her pregnancy with Addison was especially uncomfortable and the labor/delivery was fraught with complications, while during her pregnancy with Natalie, she was still dealing with the emotional fallout of the Spenglers' perceived betrayal.

INSPIRATION: Glinda Upland (Wicked), Ivy Lynn (Smash), Elliot Reid (Scrubs), Effie Newsome (Murdoch Mysteries), Cathy Hiatt (The Last Five Years), Erika (Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper), Jenny Lind (The Greatest Showman/Barnum), Wendy Darling (The New Adventures of Peter and Wendy)

NAME ANALYSIS:

Playlist available here

[my-coven-is-claudia]

this was originally a reblog of my “the mystreet cast are bad actually” post but i’d rather make this it’s own post cuz it’s a monster. this is what happens when i’m stuck on a train.

maybe mystreet doesn’t deserve this amount of analysis but the cast are bad people. not disney villian type of bad i mean they are all very flawed people and refuse to realise it. a lot of them are continuing cycles of abuse in some way and make no effort to stop it or make any self-reflection.

you have your obvious suspects: katelyn and aaron. katelyn is extremely aggressive,, taking after her father’s overprotectiveness and a lot of her general relationship issues can easily be tracked back to her mother and her disappearance. as elizabeth abandoned her,, the person who was meant to be the closest to her,, katelyn pushes away every person who attempts to get to know her on a deeper level. she blames herself for elizabeth’s disappearance and in fear of being left in the dust again she doesn’t let people in. when people do attempt to reach out to her she retaliates with aggression and wrecks her relationship with them. her highschool relationship with jeffory fell apart because of this as she couldn’t understand why someone could ever be so nice and understanding towards someone like her. she breaks up with him solely because he treated her decently and for the rest of her life she dreams about what could have been and doesn’t really move on from him. she abandons him like her mother did. katelyn’s relationship with travis is a more extreme example of how she continues the cycle and her more aggressive treatment of him is a consequence of her issues being suppressed and untreated. she is not only in denial of her own problems but also where these issues came from. during an argument with travis in love love paradise he implies that elizabeth did not care very well for katelyn. she’s in denial of her mother’s mistakes as well as her own. an example of this is when she almost kills travis she twists the story in her head as her simply being worried about him. she cannot see the severity of her actions and how she’s hurting people. she does love and care for her friends but she clings onto the idea that she’s unlovable and she tries to prove that by being the monster. she continues the cycle elizabeth started.

on the complete opposite end of the spectrum we have aaron. he continues the cycle of abuse less in relation to abuse towards others and more so abuse towards himself. aarmau is problematic obviously because of the age gap but also because aphmau doesn’t exactly treat him amazingly. in emerald secret when she suspects he’s cheating in an episode she literally throws a rock at him but when he’s given clear cut evidence of her potentially cheating on him in lovers lane he doesn’t immediately blow up but instead says he will discuss this with her. on top of this,, she invites his family at some point without his permission and when he subsequently begins to panic she pulls out the “well i want to know more about you through your family. how is that a bad thing?” subsequently crossing his boundaries. aphmau clearly has unresolved trauma from her dad cheating and then up and leaving and she projects that onto aaron and their relationship,, fearing it will fall apart like her parent’s relationship. her relationship with her mother also effects how she treats aaron as her aggressive behaviour seems to derive from sylvanna. although her mother clearly loved her aphmau felt trapped by sylvanna,, especially when it came to her love life. aphmau doesn’t want to be like her but in an attempt to distance herself from sylvanna’s control by getting with the person her mother despises the most she ends up becoming exactly like her. aaron loves aphmau so much that he ignores her mistreatment of him. her accusations. her crossing his boundaries. she is the only thing that matters to him as she was the first person to treat him with kindness. this comes to a head during starlight when he believes her to be dead. he enters a depressive episode,, completely shutting off from the world and everyone around him. now that he has lost aphmau nothing matters. she was the candle that gave him light and acted as his saving grace from his previous abusive environment. but in the end he ended up in another toxic relationship of his own making.

garroth and zane’s relationship is another good example i think of the cast treating others in the same way their parents did. garroth neglected and ignored zane’s feelings for so many years which perfectly reflects garte’s own neglect of zane. although not maliciously,, garroth ignored zane after highschool and fed into his father’s neglect of zane. their interactions in pdh are very surface level and there’s clear disconnect between them that i think caused them to barely speak to each other after graduation. garroth also likely found nothing wrong with garte’s treatment of zane,, too blinded by his own ignorance and also the pressure he felt by his father to become the owner of the ro’meave conglomerate. for years,, garroth viewed zane as someone he could simply pass the responsibility on to and it clearly never crossed his mind that maybe zane didn’t want that responsibility either. that both of them were trapped under garte’s thumb,, allowing themselves to be pinned against one another instead of fighting side by side against their’s father’s abuse. but garroth does not know zane,, does not understand him,, only viewing him as the vague concept of a younger brother similar to garte’s own misconstrued view of zane. he only sees him by what he could be: garroth.

i could say a lot more about other characters but omfg i can’t write anymore. but i do have one more thing to say.

the vylad joke about him being the least problematic out of the cast was a random thing i shoved in the original post but i think he acts as a shining light amongst all this bs. he comes from the same home as garroth and zane but he clearly has dealt with the effects of his situation a lot differently and more healthier than his brothers. he arguably was the most screwed over out of the three of them. a child born from an affair and a walking disgrace to his family’s legacy,, his existence was a curse. in diaries we see the negative effect this had on him as it’s implied he has a low self-esteem. but in mystreet he’s free. he’s not tied down by the ro’meave name and it’s expectations and instead gets to do whatever he wants with his life. he’s carefree and appears content. unlike his brothers he doesn’t inflict the same pain that he father did. by distancing himself from his family he escapes the shackles of the cycle. he puts a stop to it.

[duckprintspress]

Celebrate World Folktales and Fables Week with 10 of Our Favorite Folktale Collections

This week, March 19th to 25th, is World Folktales and Fables Week! Duck Prints Press is celebrating with two blog posts: today’s, which focuses on the folktales, fables, and myths that influenced us as creators, and tomorrow’s, about our favorite folktale-inspired fiction (queer and otherwise).

Love folktales and fables? Join us now and learn about the ones we love – some you may know, some you may not!

D’Aulaires’ Book of Greek Myths by Ingri d’Aulaire & Edgar Parin d’Aulaire (an inspiration for Shadaras)

The first book that comes to mind is D’Aulaires’ Book of Greek Myths (I had to look up the title, but the cover is burned into my memory). While there may be other collections of fairytales and folklore that struck me, this is one of the first ones I read, and it set the stage for my love of mythology in general.

The True Story of the Three Little Pigs! by Jon Scieszka & Lane Smith (an inspiration for Veronica Sanders)

I remember being really inspired by the genre of “a well-known story told from a different perspective” after reading the Jon Scieszka/Lane Smith books in 2nd grade, like The True Story of the Three Little Pigs. I always really liked thinking about folktales and fables from the POV of the “villain.”

Folktale-Inspired Disney Films (an inspiration for Adrian Harley)

I was a Disney-loving child of the 90s, so I am still unpacking the ways that shaped my view of folk stories, stories as a whole, and the world—and reconciling the positive ways these stories shaped me vs. the harms of the Disney corporation.

The Onion Girl (and other stories) by Charles de Lint (an inspiration for Anonymous)

He did an amazing job of blending American and European folklore with ordinary life in all its highs and lows. I don’t know if I could point to a specific story that’s retelling any one folktale, but I can absolutely point to the author as a whole for his folkloric style and tender exploration of magic, queerness, and being outcast. He helped invent the Mythic Fiction subgenre. The Onion Girl lives in my head rent-free.

Folktales of the Amur: Stories from the Russian Far East by Dmitri Nagishkin (an inspiration for Nina Waters)

A collection of eastern Russian folktales that really had a huge impact on me. 30+ years on from when I read them, I honestly couldn’t relate a single one of the stories, but they burrowed so deep into my psyche that when I imagine “folktales that really mattered to me” the first image that comes to mind is the cover. The art throughout the book is just absolutely gorgeous.

The Rose-Beauty – a Turkish Fairy Tale (an inspiration for Alessa Riel)

This is a Turkish fairytale that impressed me because it was cruel even for a fairytale. It‘s about a young woman who is blessed from birth to grow roses in her hair, cry pearls and grow grass wherever she walks and the cruel fate she is dealt because people are jealous of her gifts. It has a happy ending but only just.

A Tale Dark and Grimm by Adam Gidwitz (an inspiration for Sebastian Marie)

It had a HUGE influence on me as a kid, for two main reasons. One, the events of a lot of European fairytales are told as happening to the same two kids and their parents, which creates a really interesting story structure. Two, it’s unabashedly mean and gory and cruel and well, dark and grim. It says that sometimes people are terrible and sometimes bad things happen to decent people. It’s one of the things that made me want to write fairy tales, or at least stories that are a bit gruesome and meant to be told to children.

The Swan-Maiden – a fairy tale (an inspiration for Alessa Riel)

This is a variant of the selkie tale as far as I can tell, only that the women don‘t turn into seals but beautiful swans. It was the version of the lore I first encountered and the unfairness of the women being forced to marry their captor and abuser and then also being cursed for abandoning the children these men forced onto them always resonated deeply with me.

The Blue Light by The Brothers Grimm (an inspiration for Alessa Riel)

In this fairytale a veteran soldier is unjustly treated by the king and then a witch sets him three challenges. The third one is getting her a blue light from a deep well. He refuses to give her the light and she drops him into the well along with the light. It turns out the light can fulfill wishes. Up to this part the veteran looks like a sympathetic person, but he uses those wishes to have the princess dragged to his room three nights in a row to do his bidding against her will. He is finally found out and sentenced to death for this transgression but manages to escape that fate by using the blue light and he gets the kingdom and the princess to boot. I always found this supremely unfair.

Egyptian Mythology (an inspiration for Dei Walker)

I think one of the first books of folktales, legends, or fairy tales I can remember reading repeatedly is a copy of Egyptian myths and legends I used to get out of my local public library when I was young. It was already an old edition in the 1980s and its pages were yellowed, but I would borrow it regularly and lose myself in the stories of life and (un)death along the Nile.

What are some folktales and fables that have inspired YOU? We’d love to hear about them, and maybe find some classical stories to add to our To Be Read piles!

Who we are: Duck Prints Press LLC is an independent publisher based in New York State. Our founding vision is to help fanfiction authors navigate the complex process of bringing their original works from first draft to print, culminating in publishing their work under our imprint. We are particularly dedicated to working with queer authors and publishing stories featuring characters from across the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. Love what we do? Want to make sure you don’t miss the announcement for future giveaways? Sign up for our monthly newsletter and get previews, behind-the-scenes information, coupons, and more!

Want to support the Press, read about us behind-the-scenes, learn about what’s coming down the pipeline, get exclusive teasers, and claim free stories? Back us on Patreon or ko-fi monthly!

[carewyncromwell]

"What do you think?"

"...I think you're...very beautiful."

"I should hope so. And just who might you be? What are you doing here?"

x~x~x~x

Yay, Halloween is almost here! And my "movie character costume" for Carewyn and Jacob's aunt Pearl Cromwell is definitely a combo breaker. Although all of my other entries in this series have featured dressing my characters up as animated movie characters, I decided on a live action movie villain for Pearl -- specifically Mombi from one of my favorite underrated childhood movies, Return to Oz! (As a side, it was bloody impossible to find good quality still image references for this dress!! I had to simplify it quite a bit simply because I had so little to work with.)

Honestly, when it came to thinking of a costume for Pearl, I was kind of at a loss, in the beginning. Both Pearl and Claire are decidedly more subservient to Charles's will than even fellow Clan member Blaise is, considering that Claire is such a passive and ignorant character and Pearl follows him out of a misguided sense of honor -- so casting either of them as incredibly powerful, malevolent, self-focused Disney villains like Ursula or Maleficent seemed incredibly out-of-place. And yet even more "realistic" villains like Mother Gothel seemed more in-line with Blaise personality-wise, since Pearl's style of parenting tends to lean more on sternness and stoicism ("just suck it up and stop complaining," basically), rather than manipulation and feigned, cloying affection. Even Lady Tremaine, who I definitely eyed for a while, didn't come across as that great a match for Pearl, since she's never been the sort to want to social-climb through her children or otherwise, nor is she the sort to get any satisfaction from her subjugation and abuse of others, instead being much more the type to justify it as a necessary evil.

What really shifted gears in my head was finding a villain that looked more like Pearl, and Mombi immediately came to mind, since her original head has reddish curls just like how I imagine Pearl's, although quite a bit shorter and lighter in color. (Mombi's hair actually better resembles mine, funnily enough!!) And then yeah, I made the connection -- Mombi in Oz may be incredibly intimidating in her own way, but she's ultimately subservient to the real mastermind, the Nome King -- just as Pearl is subservient to the mastermind in her storyline, her father Charles. Mombi is perfectly willing to keep a child captive in a mirror on the Nome King's direction -- just as Pearl arguably keeps her own children, Arsen and Kain, inside the stifling Cromwell Manor because Charles is determined not to "lose" any other family members like he did Lane. And in the Real World, Mombi's non-magical counterpart -- Nurse Wilson -- is a very cold, stoic, oftentimes cruelly dutiful character who still betrays a tiny shred of humanity, since she does actually jump into a rushing river to try to rescue Dorothy at one point and looks genuinely distraught (maybe for the sake of her job, but also perhaps sincerely) when it looks like Dorothy is going to drown. This too is very "Pearl" to me: she can come across as heartless a lot of the time, but she isn't pure evil. Admittedly Pearl isn't as vain as Mombi by a long-shot, but hey, can't win 'em all.

I decided to base the head in Pearl's hands on her deceased mother Marilyn, just as a little shout-out to the rest of the Cromwell line. And well, that kind of macabre touch is very true to the film, that's for sure! Return to Oz overall is a movie I know a lot of people see as nightmare fuel, especially in comparison to MGM's The Wizard of Oz, which it tries to be a sequel to but doesn't match in tone at all. For me personally, though, I loved both films as a kid and I still do -- I like the MGM film for its music, dancing, and innocence, Return to Oz for its real sense of danger and darker, more book-accurate whimsy, and both for the unique and likable characters they created.

Coming very soon: our last two main Cromwell Clan members, Claire and Charles, to finish off these Halloween sketches for the year!

[thesinglesjukebox]

SABRINA CARPENTER -"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE"

It's the Fourth of July, so today we turn our attention to guess who? American women!

[6.17]

TA Inskeep: The way Sabrina Carpenter drops in "don't embarrass me, motherfucker" on the chorus of this country-tinged lament is so smart; she clearly understands pop music. This isn't another "Espresso," not even close, but that's smart, too, showing another angle of her. A real, new pop star: how refreshing. [7]

Brad Shoup: As a critic, it's almost too easy. The warmed-over chillwave disco with the line "I can't relate to desperation"? Or the Vangelic pop-country that opens with "I know I have good judgment/I know I have good taste"? (Plus we installed a ceiling fan last weekend.) Her plaintive "Hopelessly Devoted to You" killed in her Melbourne Eras Tour slot, but "Please Please Please" is the truest tribute to Olivia Newton-John: flippant and funny, casually virtuosic. Plus it's a little bit country. Carpenter's wryness is approaching Deana Carter or Kacey Musgraves levels, but when she hits those shimmering pleases it's like watching her peel herself open. It's not quite the same feeling as being a parent, but it's close. In terms of the emotional switches she's flipping and the prettiness of the track— how everything locks so crisply without feeling like a metatextual pop puzzle box— I think this is magical: nearly perfect but for ending on the bridge. [9]

Will Rivitz: As an avowed and long-term Sabrina Carpenter hater (a Sabrinah?), my least favorite aspect of her career so far is not that every song she releases sounds like a C-tier rip-off of some other, better pop star; it's that she can't even be consistent with which other, better pop star to rip off. I've already gone on record saying "Thumbs" sounds like a sanitized, focus-grouped Alessia Cara impression, and since then Carpenter's continued to spin the wheel: "Nonsense" is a worse Ariana Grande song, "Espresso" is a worse "Say So," "Feather" is a worse "Circles." (Carpenter recently announced Jack Antonoff has worked with her on "about half" of her upcoming debut album, meaning that not only is she aping a full third of today's pop elite, she's aping a set of artists completely distinct from those she's gotten her impressionistic hands on in the past. Pick a lane and stay there, please!) Thankfully, "Please Please Please," at long last, doesn't sound quite so concretely like any particular musician active on the charts at the moment. Unfortunately, it does sound like royalty-free music piped into a tropical Disney cruise's breakfast buffet at low volume, monkey's-paw evidence that she's better served cheaply mimeographing those who came before than forging her own way. I've seen a couple comments online that the success of "Please Please Please" is "justice" for Espresso not hitting number one; if so, it's the kind of application of criminal justice that in its flagrant disregard for human dignity should inspire mass activism against the carceral state. [2]

Jonathan Bradley: Sabrina Carpenter’s first actual chart-topper is a curious thing, so tonally all over the place that its incoherence starts to look like a puzzle to be solved. She switches from wry wordplay “you’re an actor, so act like a stand-up guy” to diva sass (“heartbreak is one thing; my ego’s another”) to hopeful coaxing (“it’s so nice, right?“) to curses and threats (“don’t embarrass me, motherfucker”) at such a rapid clip that I start to have concerns for her own reliability as a narrator; you have good judgment, Sabrina? Really? The overarching picture, oddly, is of a prim mother furious with an offspring acting out in public, and desperately hoping not to show it. “If you wanna go and be stupid,” she scolds. “Don’t do it in front of me.” (This interpretation makes no sense considering the song is aimed at a romantic partner whose best side she still believes exists, which is entirely the problem.) A sluggish disco beat, so awkward that it’s antithetical to the concept of groove, languid blooms of synthesizer, and a vocal tone that sways and wavers like a limp plant in a light breeze all suggest the solution to these parenting problems lies in a refilled prescription and another martini. Maybe this boy will go play on the road. [7]

Katherine St. Asaph: It's not as huge as "Lovefool," as most things aren't, but "Please Please Please" recreates everything great about the Cardigans classic at a smaller scale: Nina Persson's folkie emoting and coquettish spoken-word coos, the impatience to get to the big chorus it knows it's got, the self-aware self loathing that's bound to result in endless quips and listicles 15 years from now about how whoa, no one realized how fucked-up this song is (assuming there is a media industry remaining 15 years from now). [7]

Taylor Alatorre: She mentions her ego in the chorus, so this is supposed to be a self-deprecating portrait of an unsympathetic character, right? But then she addresses her boyfriend as "motherfucker" in a threateningly low register, which is supposed to be an empowering feminist thing, right? Ambiguity is one thing, but squishiness is another, and "Please Please Please" doesn't adopt a solid enough stance for its jabs to land with the desired amount of heft. Any replay value comes not from the citation-needed punchlines — is “actor” considered a culture now? — but from the Bleacher you love to hate, Mr. Antonoff. He’s managed to get some genuinely queasy and head-spinning synth textures to the top of the Hot 100, even if he had to ride the peak of yet another artist’s imperial wave in order to do it.  [5]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: Earlier in the week I wrote a scathing [3] point review about how awkward this sounds, and how the goodwill of "Espresso" had been wasted. It turns out that after sitting with this for a week, you come to see how the awkwardness is the draw. I'm not sure where Sabrina Carpenter's ascent will take her, but may she write oddball, camp hooks in perpetuity.  [7]

Alfred Soto: Despite my initial rave, "Espresso" has turned into a mild annoyance. I'd tolerate writing lyrics that sound like garbled putative Instagram memes if Sabrina Carpenter's vocal choices weren't stuck in "coo" mode. "Please, Please, Please" is more of the same but worse. Line by line, nothing scans, and the high fluting synth line complements her self-involvement. Which doesn't mean I'll change the station when it's on. [5]

Ian Mathers: It's not that I underrated "Espresso" (which is fine!), it's that "Espresso" is a high [6] and this is a pretty low one. [6]

Mark Sinker: If “Espresso” was the moment where the sexy Species beast breaks containment, this is what comes after = if it’s on I won’t turn it off probably, but it’s mostly diminishing returns.    [6]

Scott Mildenhall: Gossamer and jarring at once, this would barely register were it not so meandering. There are enough unfulfilled flutters of feather-light flair to give it the album track vote; green-lighting it as a single feels like over-commitment to their possibility, rather than their realisation. [5]

Harlan Talib Ockey: Carpenter’s country-inflected vocal performance wields lyrics so sharp and realistic as to make the listener a little uncomfortable. (What is “I tell them it’s just your culture” supposed to mean?) Unfortunately, the chintzy synths and cloudy vocal production crowd her out with the aural equivalent of an aggressive “JUST KIDDING.” Huh. I wonder who was in charge of that. [5]

Isabel Cole: As a Taylor-liker and forever Melodrama stan, I’ve often found myself in the position of Antonoff apologist as his shtick has grated on the pop lovers around me; he’d produced some songs I love, and at worst I found him uninspired but inoffensive. This is the first song I really feel has made me hear what the haters are hearing; it sounds like a track someone assembled as an Antonoff parody. [4]

Hannah Jocelyn: Like the meme where Beyoncé traps Sia in her basement, Jack Antonoff has the iLok with all Serban Ghenea's compressor plugins so he cannot make drums sound even a little bit punchy. This is is otherwise nearly perfect; I’m not yet tired of ABBA pastiches the way I’m tired of John Hughes pastiches and 2-step pastiches, and the sharp lyrics are mean spirited but amusingly tough love to her partner. It even has the head-turning moments that made "Espresso" so addictive; "don't embarrass me, motherfuuucker," "the ceiling fan is so nice," "don't make me hate you prolifically" — I was sold on Carpenter the pop star, but I can now be convinced on Carpenter the songwriter. If she can pull off a line like "I tell them it's just your culture" and make it not sound like the shittiest thing in the world, I'm even more sold on Carpenter the performer too. [8]

Andrew Karpan: I’ve heard it said that the way she says something just a little weird is what makes these records the indelible bits of pop culture candy that they are. Just a sing-urr and, now, motherfuck–urr. Writing a song about being out of Barry Keoghan's league only literalizes this kind of fetish for contained ugliness. A record that meets its moment, like a mirror that’s just a little chipped.  [8]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: A real Rorschach test of a single: is it a breathtaking coronation of a single, the culmination of a journey from fringe teen pop never-was to actual pop superstar, or is it a bit of a letdown, too staid and stagey after the three-part screwball pop triumph of "Nonsense"-"Feather"-"Espresso"? Mostly, I'm struck by how boring this sounds. Doing an Italo disco-styled take on a Dolly Parton song should be more compelling than this, but the fruits of working with Jack Antonoff are shiny and tedious. I get why people are fomenting ridiculous payola conspiracy theories about this playing on their Spotify accounts — even if there's nothing actually shady happening, this just sounds like mandatory fun, an almost-successful exercise in forced charm that stretches Carpenter's charisma about to its limits. [5]

Nortey Dowuona: Good for Barry Keoghan, it's nice to see him get some very difficult roles that actually stretch him. He was wasted in Eternals. [8]

Julian Axelrod: It brings me no pleasure to report this is the best Kacey Musgraves song of 2024. [7]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]