#Don't know if I have adhd but in my head I studied for a year then got 95% which means I failed to score that 5% therefore gotta Repent

[roaringroa]

oficially diagnosed with adhd babeyyyyyyy

[copperbadge]

[ID: A screengrab of an app, with the heading "2024"; beneath the heading is an image of a grid decorated to look like a grassy field, covered with little digital plants such as trees, cacti, and toadstools. In the corner is a count of the plants, 117, and also the number one to indicate one real tree has been planted.]

Duolingo, for all its faults, has been really helpful for learning Italian, because it gamifies it exactly at the level I want. But it's also stalled in terms of what it can teach me; I've completed all the modules and it has started to become simply repetitive drilling. I decided I'd go off the paid subscription when the year is up, because I can do flashcards and translation on my own, and I wanted to find new ways to gamify that so that I would keep at it.

Enter Forest! When you want to focus on something, you open the app, set the amount of time you want to focus, and "plant" the timer. It basically locks your phone to a handful of apps (you can select which ones) so that you either have to focus outside of your phone, or focus on the apps you've allowed. If you successfully spend the entire time without "cancelling" the plant, it gets added to the grid. It also awards you coins which you can use to buy new kinds of plants, but slowly enough that you have to work a little for them. There's also a "friends" function where you can friend and compete with others, although I haven't explored that yet.

For me it's useful because it locks me out of stuff I shouldn't deal with while I'm studying, preventing me from, for example, feeling guilty that I haven't responded to a text immediately. It also gives me a little dopamine hit when my plant grows successfully, and unlike some other apps I looked at, once your plant has grown, you don't have to do anything further -- there's no maintenance, per se, which keeps it from getting overwhelming. It's primarily useful to me as a way of rewarding myself for doing something daily, which I will need once I'm not getting night owl chests and streak rewards from Duolingo. I've been on Forest long enough now that I know it'll work for me so I thought I'd recommend it.

Forest has a free version, but a lot of the features I wanted (custom tags, the ability to create a library of favorite settings, etc) were only in the paid version. That was a bummer until I looked at the cost of the paid version which was literally a one-time payment of $3. So I paid the $3 and honestly, more than worth it.

I use it for everything from locking me down while I'm doing my ADHD video game to timing how long I spend on writing and crafts to rewarding myself for doing my Italian lessons and breathing meditation.

[geekwritersworld]

Little Artist

Pairing: Peaky Blinders x you (more mentions of Tommy and you though)

Warnings: fluff, one liner angst at the end (I am incapable of not adding angst to everything I write)

Summary: As stated below in the request. @anne-17890

Hello, I could ask one in which the younger sister of the Shelbys, maybe she is 14/15 years old wants to be an artist and she has a lot of talent but the family does not know but the art teacher one day calls the Shelbys at school to talk about her sister and they discover her talent and that she received a letter from a private school in London to study on full scholarship. Thank you for your time

A/n: I've taken forever for this request and I am so sorry about that. My only defense being that ADHD is an absolute pain in the rear :)

Do let me know what you think ❤️

You weren't much of a reader, you didn't care much for music nor did you like being stuck around your siblings all the time. And of course they didn't let you anywhere near the business so you spent most of your time by yourself. You tried out new things, hoping something would stick and become a hobby. And on a whim one day you decided to try your hand at art.

And at some point it stuck. You began frequently drawing, improving yourself each day. And it was becoming more than a hobby. So to escape you turned to art; to the one thing you found almost calming. To express your emotions and to sketch what you pictured the world beyond small heath looked like.

And you were exceptionally good too, you realized. You were grateful for that, of course. Your siblings occasionally noticed your work at the table where you'd forgotten them on late nights and ensured to compliment your skills when you woke, but lately you made sure to conceal your work.

Despite your classmates keeping their distance from you knowing you were a Shelby, you managed to make one good friend-Nancy-to whom you'd grown quite close.

You both found common ground in your love and flair for art. So you'd both spend time at Nancy's house, making mess of her living room floor with all the art supplies. Sometimes you left your sketch book with her, not wanting your brothers fussing over your art.

Taking up an art class at school without the knowledge of your siblings you found solace in the art room. You weren't sure what was keeping you from letting your family know of your art skills. Sure they knew you could sketch and create art, but they never knew the extent of it. They never knew of your capability to create hyper realistic images on paper with mere pencils everyone used everyday.

Of course, Nancy was sworn to secrecy to never reveal to your family. But it wasn't through Nancy that the Shelby's ultimately found out of their youngest sisters talent.

It all began on a particularly dreary morning. When you were relieved you'd left your sketch book with Nancy due to the rain drizzling down on the way to school.

That damp afternoon you walked home knowing something you hadn't that morning and you avoided walking home with Nancy aware that she'd ask you questions about why you'd been pulled aside that morning in school by the head.

"Now Y/n" The professor sat you down with the head on the other side of the table listening intently. Sitting down, hesitating at first, you wondered what you'd done.

"We wanted to talk to you Ms. Shelby" she paused " about what you plan to do once you've finished school" You almost wanted to laugh, if you didn't know any better, you'd assume she was literally sitting on the edge of her chair with how intently she waited for your response.

"You mean for university?" you asked confused.

"Yes" she nodded

"well I don't know really, I haven't given it much thought seeing that I have a few more years to go" you said, nervous.

Your professor smiled kindly and looked at you. You still wondered why you arts professor was here, talking to you when you were due in math class.

"Thing is, your art" she cleared her throat " your artistic abilities are admirable. It's very rare to see such talent" she continued "and we've ..er.... communicated with one of the universities in London, and they're want to offer you a full scholarship in arts, should you chose to enroll at that university, we've received a letter from them as well, for you"

You stared at her, your mind blank. You expected to see John burst into the room laughing at you for the joke they were played on you. Surely itwasn't...it couldn't be.

"what" you rasped, throat drying.

Smiling wider, the head this time, pushed an envelope towards you "here"

Reaching forward with a hesitant hand, you slipped open the envelope and began to read the letter that resided inside.

Once you'd scanned the letter and read the words over and over you held on to it.

"could I keep this?" you mumbled

"of course" both women said unison.

"can i think about it? if that's alright" you looked at them.

Nodding the professor responded "of course!"

So you took your time. Or rather you avoided your professors. Rushing out the moment school was done, reaching at the last possible moment- making sure to take an extra long route to school; you did everything you could to avoid your professors and best friend.

You made excuses and tried avoiding Nancy as much as you could.

You wouldn't tell your family. They didn't need to know.

Of course Aunt Pol noticed your sudden odd behavior. She noticed you were home more often than usual, you didn't sit in the living room as much you used to, and coming home earlier from school than normal and you'd been avoiding your family; barely talking to them anymore.

Pol and Tommy knew you were a shy kid, you had been your whole life. However you were never this quiet with you family, especially with him and Arthur.

Frustrated Tommy slammed the pen down on the table making one of the men in the betting shop to flinch. He couldn't stop wondering what was wrong with his youngest sibling. He didn't get it. Were you in trouble?

Why were you more closed off than usual? Tommy knew you were too much of a Shelby to directly tell them even if they asked you what was wrong.

He got up and decided he needed some fresh air- and a cigarette.

Tommy wasn't sure where he was heading until he got there.

Exhausted, not to mention surprised that your arts professor had walked right past you that morning, you thought it was odd since you'd been avoiding her for over a week; deciding not to dwell on it too long you put your things together and got ready to leave.

You looked forward to going home and getting some sleep and perhaps even meeting Nancy later on.

Once classes were let out, you slipped your bag onto your shoulder and bolted for the door but stopped short when you spotted your older brother standing near the gates looking straight ahead at you.

Standing still as the rest of the children rushed past you- some even knocking into you, you remained still until Tommy tilted his head at you releasing a puff of smoke from his lips.

Taking in a deep breath trying to push through the mist of confusion in your head you walked towards him "what are you doing here Tom?"

You occasionally called him Tom instead of Tommy, and sometimes it bugged Tommy but in a way it was endearing plus if there was one person he'd tolerate referring to him as Tom it would be you.

"No reason" the look in his eyes told you different.

Rolling your eyes, you moved past him, intending to walk home "why didn't you tell us?" Tommy's footsteps were slow behind you against the wet gravel.

"what?" you snapped your head to look at him, your fingers turning cold despite the humid air.

"I think" Tommy caught up to you slowly, staring ahead "you know what."

"so she fucking tattled" you snorted suddenly "how mature for a grown woman" you were infuriated but nervous at Tommy's reaction.

"she didn't have much of a choice considering I asked her how you were"

"Why the fuck are you asking my professors how I am ?!" you looked at Tommy like he was deranged. Maybe he was, you didn't know. All that smoking and drinking was probably catching up.

"Because you won't talk to us" your brothers nonchalant attitude was beginning to frustrate you even more.

"Well you never asked did you?" you sassed.

Tommy stopped walking and you stopped a few steps ahead of him turning to look at him "would you have told us if we asked?" Tommy raised an eyebrow.

You rolled your eyes "no" you mumbled "fuck off" and continued walking.

Tommy let out a mirthless chuckle.

The rest of the walk back home was in silence, you could feel your brothers eyes boring in the back of your head and you did your best to bite your tongue and not snap back at him.

Shutting the door behind you Tommy spoke with an uncharacteristic soft tone "y/n"

letting your shoulders drop, you took a deep breath to avoid crying then turned to look at Tommy.

"Look, Tommy, I'm not going so leave it alone" you walked into the kitchen and picked up a glass to pour yourself some water.

"Why not?" Tommy leaned against the doorframe of the kitchen.

Instead of responding you stared right back at Tommy with unrelenting gaze that you knew your aunt held so often with your brothers too.

After a minute of the two of you standing and staring at each other in silence you said " 'cause I don't want to go. Now let it go will you" Pushing past him you went up the stairs to your room.

You didn't see Tommy again that day until the next morning when you opened the door with your school bag in hand and almost walked into him standing right outside your door.

"morning y/n" sarcasm laced your brothers words.

"What?" you narrowed your eyes looking at him.

"You" he reached forward and pulled your bag off your shoulder " are coming with me today" he shoved your bag onto your bed and put his hand on your shoulder.

Your eyes widened "where" you looked at him

He didn't respond rather he nudged you out of your doorway and downstairs.

"There's the bloody artist!" Arthur shouted when he spotted you coming down the stairs.

you immediately turned to glare at Tommy and caught him rolling his eyes at Arthur.

"Where ya goin' Tommy?" Arthur ignored the obvious annoyance his siblings felt toward him in the moment.

"Nowhere" Tommy mumbled

Taking his distraction from you as an opportunity you ducked from under his hand on your shoulder and bolted back up the stairs.

"Y/N" Tommy yelled bolting after you. Arthur laughed watching Tommy run after you.

Rushing into your room in time, you slammed the door shut and locked it. Ignoring Tommy's knocking on the door.

Grabbing your bag you slid open your window and threw it out. And then slipped your left leg out the window and securing it safely on the edge you ducked and climbed out completely, still hearing Tommy ordering you to open the door.

Managing to climb down safely, you dusted your clothes and turned around and walked right into Aunt Pol standing there arms crossed watching you, not impressed, and Tommy stood behind her smirking.

"might want to take the front door next time " John snickered walking out to where the three of you were.

"Right" Aunt Pol moved forward while guiding you back into the house- through the door- she continued "you're going with Tommy, I don't bloody know where he's taking you but he's told me it's important".

"But I have school!" you fought back " for which I'm probably late thanks to Thomas" you exclaimed.

"well then you better go along with him quickly so you don't have to skip another day" Pol smirked.

Truth was, Tommy knew, that Pol of course had noticed the change in your behavior as well no doubt, and when he told her last night that he was going to pull you out of school for the day for something important, she didn't argue knowing her nephew must obviously know something and if he wasn't telling her now he would later.

Tommy didn't tell her cause he wanted you to tell them yourself. He didn't want to push you away any further by revealing something you still preferred keeping to yourself.

You knew it was hopeless fighting back if Aunt Pol was involved and siding with your brother.

Grumbling, you let your bag fall of your shoulder, put it on the sofa and turned to Tommy "fine" you stomped outside.

Tommy, who had a cigarette in between his lips, let out a puff of smoke and then walked after you.

Slamming the door shut to the car, you sulked. Your frustration grew stronger the more you kept thinking about Tommy doing this because of yesterday. You didn't understand why he couldn't just let it be.

Tommy didn't speak at all on the drive, he juts looked ahead. And you didn't bother asking him where he was taking you. You were too stubborn to ask. Instead, you leaned your head back against the seat and closed your eyes.

Having fallen asleep you didn't realize how long the car ride was, and only woke when Tommy nudged your shoulder calling your name.

Looking out the window yawning, you felt your breath hitch the moment your eyes adjusted on the massive building in front of you. The red bricked building stood in front of you with a field of grass stretching wide in front of it. The grass was greener than you'd ever seen grass to be. You opened the door and got out standing still, afraid that if you moved you'd wake up back in your damp room in Birmingham. The air, it was-clean- it wasn't damp with a lingering smell of something stale, like in small heath.

Tommy watched you take in where he'd brought you. His chest tightened noticing the disbelief in your eyes. He felt a sudden rush of pride and love. He wanted this for you. He wanted you to be able to get away from small heath. He wanted you to have this, he knew you deserved it more than anyone.

You'd kept to yourself your whole life. Content with the little you had, never asking for anything.

And god, Tommy knew you were so smart and capable of making something of yourself. He didn't understand why you didn't want this -or rather- why you were refusing it when it was being handed to you.

He so desperately wanted you to go here. Moving to stand next to you, he put his arm around your shoulder.

"What do you think?"

You were too struck with amazement to actually speak aloud, instead you whispered "I don't know"

And you didn't. You wished so desperately to go here now that you'd seen where you had the opportunity to come. But the same questions haunted you in the back of your mind, how would your family be able to afford financing your stay. Just finding a place for you to live would be a big expense.

You couldn't ask this of them. You couldn't move to live such a life in London, when your family would still be breathing the toxic fumes of small heath.

Tommy could almost feel your longing. To come here, to make a life for yourself. But he couldn't figure out what was holding you back, why you were adamantly refusing, why you hadn't told them either.

He couldn't understand it.

"Would it be selfish Tommy?" you whispered, shifting your weight on your left leg.

Tommy furrowed his eyebrows "no it wouldn't" he said softly.

He didn't think his heart was capable of breaking again, but apparently he learnt that it was the moment you asked him that question. It broke his heart to think that you were willing to let your future go just because you thought it would be selfish to ask this of your family. Because you didn't want them to spend their money on your education.

"I want to come here Tommy, I really do" you couldn't help it anymore. You turned to look at Tommy, tears brimming your eyes and you slipped your hand in his and held it tightly.

He wasn't expecting to see the tears in your eyes, so when you slipped your hand his, a few seconds later he let go and instead slipped his arm around your shoulder again and pulled you into his side.

"then you're going to come here eh" he rubbed your shoulder.

"How are we going to afford it?" you hiccuped.

"you're the first Shelby to be offered a fuckin' scholarship and that's what your worried about?" Tommy chuckled.

You were always the more grounded Shelby, but it never occurred to him just how far your selflessness went.

"Listen to me" he made you look at him "we'll afford it alright, we've got more money now than before and by the time you have to leave we'll have even more, plus I've got Ada a place you could stay with her, after she finds out I've got her a place of course"

"Tommy-"

"It's not for you to worry about money, you leave that to us" your brother clarified.

You said nothing further but continued leaning into your older brothers side until he finally asked you if you were ready to leave.

Watching the building fade past you, you turned back around looking in front "they know then?"

"Only that you've been told you've got exceptional art skills" he gave a small smile.

You were grateful he hadn't told your family of your scholarship opportunity yet "thank you".

You spent the trip back to Birmingham wondering how you'd tell your family. You were beyond nervous and the bundle of nerves only worsened as Tommy turned into the familiar streets of the Small heath.

When the car came to a halt you almost refused to get out but you had to get out at some point. So you did. With shivering legs and a pounding heart.

Only when Tommy nudged you into the pub did you realize that you'd never told Tommy that you were going to tell your family today. But somehow he knew you'd agree once you'd seen the place you were being given the opportunity to go to. And seeing your family gathered at the table when you entered the pub only confirmed this realization.

"Ada will be here soon" Tommy walked over and sat down next to Arthur-a decision he knew he would regret the moment you told them.

The chair scraped against the dark wooden floor as you took one from another table and sat down. In the same instant that you sat down, Ada strolled into the Garrison, taking off her hat.

Once she'd sat down grumbling about how this better not be a meeting revealing one of Tommy's fuck ups.

But Tommy had rolled his eyes and clarified "we're here 'cause Y/n has something to tell us"

You sighed heavily and looked up at the ceiling, and then looked back at the unflinching gaze of your entire family focused on you.

"right-um-well" you cleared your throat and shifted slightly in your chair. "I-um" you began bouncing your knee.

You realized in that instant that the only way you'd be bale to tell them was if you didn't look at them directly and avoided the look of disappointment they'd inevitably express at your selfish-ness of asking something like this of them.

So instead you looked at your fidgeting hands and came out with it in one breath "I've been offered a scholarship to a university In London for-um-art and I've decid-thought of taking it"

There it was. The heavy disappointed silence. Your heart dropped at the silence. Even Harry it seemed had stopped wiping the bar behind you.

You could hear everyone's breathing in the loud silence, more so you could hear your own heart beating quite rapidly and were sure everyone else could too.

"A shelby going to bloody university!" Your head snapped up to meet Aunt Pol's tear brimmed eyes. She was beaming, and you realzied you'd never actually seen a smile on her that actually reached her eyes- before this that is.

The relief washed over you like a wave, you could physically feel the relief in your skin, your shoulders felt lighter and you felt as htough you were giong to start fully sobbing at any second.

Arthur sat stunned for a few more minutes while Ada and John hugged you, raving about how proud they were of you. Finn congratulated you Arthur seemed to come to and started literally bellowing out of happiness. You were pretty sure he was just making noises and not even shouting proper sentences, "little one's going to fookin' University!", Tommy instantly took a deep breath looking at the ceiling standing up.

Chcukling, you said "I'm not litt-oh" Arthur hugged you tighter than he had before, unable to contain his happiness for you and you had to tap him on the shoulder letting him knowing you couldn't breath.

Once he let go John, Finn and Ada continued talking excitedly making lists of things you'd need for university, and you leaned your head past Arthur and looked at Tommy who was now leaning against the wooden beam; smiling at you.

"how come you got a scholar-whatever-it-is and I didn't?" You heard Finn say behind you.

"Maybe cause you never fucking went after the first day of 6th grade" John laughed, making Finn roll his eyes.

You however walked to Tommy and engulfed him in a hug. Squeezing him as tight as you could. And Tommy did the same.

He looked up at Pol who and gave him a nod. Tommy knew it was his aunts way of letting him know he had done the right thing in doing whatever he had done to convince you to get away to a better life.

"hang on" Ada said then "we've all been here talking about how fuckin proud we are of you for your scholarship, but we've barely seen your bloody art"

So of course the next thing you knew you were being dragged down to watery lane to show them your art book. Which you didn't have, seeing as you'd left it at Nancy's so John then accompanied you to pick it up and watched you tell Nancy you'd explain everything later.

John was itching to grab your book from you and take a peek on the way home, but he also knew you would chew his ear off for it and decided against it.

The moment your family's eyes glimpsed the first page, they proceeded to compliment you, but Ada made it a point to let you know you were a downright arse for keeping your work from them.

Tommy and Pol stayed up that night, long after everyone else had gone to bed- after Tommy had carried you to your room.

Sitting down next to his aunt with a drink, he leaned back on his chair.

"y/n's going to have a better life Pol" Tommy sighed, smiling a little.

"god knows if there's anyone that deserves it more than anyone, it's that child." Pol nodded.

And he knew it was true. He doted on you from the moment you were born. When you opened your eyes and looked at him with those beautiful eyes of yours, Tommy swore he would kill for you.

And not once since did he take his job as the older brother for granted, if anything he always went the extra mile to make sure you were safe.

Of course the rest of your family protected you too, but Tommy like always, went beyond what was necessary sometimes. But he would rather do too much than too little and end up having you hurt.

A few months later, it was this very habit of Tommy's, the one that kept you safe for 15 years, that made the new Irish Inspector in small heath, watch you from the alley as you walked home one evening.

[chaotic-archaeologist]

long time follower, first time asker... i really need some wisdom or encouragement right now. i'm in my 30s and have been working on a bachelor's degree for years, in fits and starts, with a lot of setbacks. (finally landed on history with religious studies minor, but i used to study anthropology as well.) the thing is, i recently watched a guest lecture by a wonderful religious scholar (dr. francesca stavrakopoulou) and she was so... inspiring? erudite? smart? she was incredible to listen to, she seemed so in touch with her field and was able to draw amazing connections and answer questions with references to multiple religions and languages off the top of her head, was able to recommend peers of hers by name for other specialities, it was really inspiring.

but as awesome as she was, after the lecture was finished i was a little devastated because i feel like i will never be able to achieve that level of ease and expertise no matter how much i study. i feel like a fraud, i feel like my adhd is holding me back and turning my brain into swiss cheese. it's already taking me so much longer to get a bachelor's than it should and i'm painfully aware you have to have a PhD to really work as a historian; i feel like i'm so far behind that i'll never catch up and that as i get older i'll just get worse at learning... is this imposter syndrome? am i just struggling with a plateau and need to push harder to reach the next level? am i just not cut out for academia? have other academics also struggled with this? what do i do? :( i love this field more than anything, i have wanted to study people and history since i was in high school. i don't even know what i would do with my life if not this, but i just don't know if i'm completely out of my league and living in a fantasy land or if having a career as a historian is really still possible...

You know what, I'm really glad you asked this question.

I had a very similar experience recently, where I went to an academic talk that was so well done it left me thinking well shit, I'll never be able to do something like that. But you know what? I really do think that's the imposter syndrome talking.

I'm a fan of the four stages of learning. Unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, and unconscious competence.

You and I, as upper level students, are maybe somewhere on the cusp of conscious incompetence and conscious competence, which is not an especially comfortable place to be. We're aware of how much we don't know, and when we do things, we have to try really hard to be good at them.

The talks we both watched were given by people at the level of unconscious competence. And you know how they got to that level? By doing a PhD and spending a really long time immersed in the literature. They started their learning journeys earlier, and so they know more than we do right now. Which is normal!!! At this point in our careers, we are not expected to be able to do work like this, and there's a reason for that—we're not ready yet. But with time, we will get there.

(Psst, you know what the biggest prerequisite for giving a talk like that is? It's passion and a genuine interest in your field. You can't learn that, or force it if it's not there. And it sounds like you've got it covered.)

So now I'd like to address your fears of being too old. I totally understand—ageism is real, and it's especially hard in college settings where everyone around you tends to be 1) much younger, and 2) on the high school -> college track. Not being on that track is not a moral failing. The higher education system in the United States is very hostile to anyone who doesn't perfectly fit into the university's machinery. That is a problem with academia, not with you.

I know plenty of nontraditional students who have gotten their degrees at varying ages. When they give you your diploma, it won't have your age on it or how long it took you to get your degree. What matters is that you've earned it, not when. Better now than never. Don't give up.

I would like you to try to do on thing for me: look back through your life and make a list of all the moments where you had an "aha" moment. When you realized this was something you wanted to do for the rest of your life. When you did something and felt good about it. And I do really mean write! it! down! Keep this list (and add to it) so you can look back at it. I pay attention to stuff like this when I write in my journal so I can remind myself during low moments.

Congratulations, it sounds like you're passionate about something enough to pursue it doggedly, even when things are difficult! That's something special that not everyone gets to have. I think you owe it to yourself to do your very best to pursue your dream.

-Reid

[wolken-himmel]

In which Riddle intends to lecture (Y/n), who has slacked off on a recent test— only to find out that the prefect suffers from ADHD.

Now he's determined to help with tutoring sessions.

Request by @princess-kaylia-blog.

"You can't be serious, Ace. Tell me this is a joke. Zero points on the last alchemy test?"

Riddle looked like he was about to explode with how red his face had gotten. His grip around the tea cup in his hands tightened considerably, to the point where Ace and Deuce feared he would snap the handle right off. Luckily, Riddle caught his cool again soon, allowing the first-years fo exhale in relief.

"Yeah," Ace confirmed sheepishly, "(Y/n)'s grade kinda got a worse recently, and they've never been good in the first place."

"I never expected that from the Prefect of Ramshackle! I cannot tolerate such laziness... Hard work and concentration are the key to a bright future, and slacking off now will ruin that."

Deuce let out an absent-minded hum. "Now that you say it, (Y/n) tends to really procrastinate on everything..." he muttered under his breath, deep in thought. "Even worse than Ace..."

That, in return, drew an offended gasp from his fellow first-year, who jumped to his feet and glared down at his friend. "Hey! I don't procrastinate... often," Ace exclaimed angrily, only for his fury to morph into sheepishness when Riddle shot him a reprimanding glare. Ace merely crossed his arms and looked at the other two intently. "Besides, did you not know that (Y/n) has ADHD?"

"...I did not." The dormleader's eyes grew wide in realisation.

Deuce raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What's that?"

"A disorder that makes it hard to focus and work for a long time," Ace explained while sitting down again. "I looked it up on my phone while I was doing my homework earlier." A mischievous grin appeared on his face.

For a while, Riddle was left speechless. A sudden feeling of guilt pooled in his stomach, and he began to regret all the awful things he had said about you earlier. Perhaps he had judged you wrongly. The frustration he had felt towards you earlier morphed into something akin to determination. "I guess I will have to change my entire tutoring system now when it comes to the prefect..."

A shiver ran down Ace's back. "Ugh, don't kill the prefect with your tutoring sessions, dormleader."

"You do not seem to value your head nowadays, Trappola. Shall it be off with your head, then?"

"N-No! I meant good luck, sir—"

°°°

A few days later, Riddle indeed sat in your dusty room within the Ramshackle mansion, ready for the tutoring session to begin. Yet, you only reciprocated the determined look on his face with a reluctant frown. He watched you fiddle with your pen for a while, only for you to unexpectedly raise your gaze and furrow your eyebrows at him.

"I don't know why you insist on helping me, Riddle. Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate it— but I don't think it will help me."

"(Y/n), listen to me. I've dealt with worse, but look at Heartslabyul now! Nobody has dropped out or been held back ever since I became dormleader," Riddle exclaimed and plopped himself into the creaky chair next to yours, a passionate look in his grey eyes. "I do not wish to appear arrogant, but I do believe that we can cooperate and improve your grades slowly over time. I certainly cannot cure you of your ADHD, but I do plan on helping you improve working and studying with it—"

His monologue was interrupted by the door to your room being thrown open, thus colliding with the wall loudly. You two snapped around to find a familiar cat monster striding inside like he owned the place. "Oi, henchhuman!" Grim yelled out and held a bowl with popcorn out to you. "You wanna watch this cool movie with me? Ditch our lame homework and let's go—"

"Not today, fiend," Riddle grumbled under his breath while turning Grim around and promptly shooing him out of the room.

You watched with furrowed eyebrows as the door was slammed right into his face, the cat now left to protest outside. Soon, your cat companion let you be and wandered away, and Riddle returned to your side.

"Hey, I really wanted to watch a movie right now..."

A disapproving sigh escaped his lips. "No wonder you can't get anything done with such an environment..." There was no apprehension in his tone.

"Yeah... I'm easily distracted. It's a struggle to sit still and read through these heavy textbooks, especially when there's all kinds of ruckus going on around me."

He hummed thoughtfully. "I see. But now that we've eliminated some of these distractions, let's declutter your desk, alright? And then we can make a to-do list to organise your work a little bit better. That will be our first step before we get into studying," he explained and clapped his hands together. "And this might sound like a lot, but we don't have to get everything done today. It's alright if we go forward in small steps... Small steps are better than no steps at all— and much better than steps backwards."

At first, you could only stare at him with wide eyes, and your lack of reaction left him confused and embarrassed. Yet, it all came crashing down tenfold when you snapped out of it and leapt forward to wrap your arms around him gratefully. "...Thank you, Riddle. I really appreciate this..." you murmured into his shoulder, unable to prevent a smile from forming on your lips.

Fumbling on his words, Riddle struggled to keep his face from heating up. "N-No problem."

[queerstake]

As a queer drawn to the faith and trying to deal with the messiness of entering into everything, I've been trying hard to read more of the Book of Mormon because I only have a very vague understanding of it's Whole Deal, but executive dysfunction, ADHD, and honestly, a million other excuses are making it very difficult. Are there any good resources for walking through the fundamentals? Childish but I feel like I'm disappointing the Lord if I'm not more on top of this.

Hi anon! I totally get it and yes, I can think of a few ideas!

If you're looking for ways to understand the BoM (or even just general doctrine) from more of a bird's eye view:

I hope you don't find this silly, but when I was a kid, the church published an illustrated children's version of the BoM that's obviously way quicker to flip through. It might be harder for you to find those exact editions I read as a kid if you don't have ready access to a church library, BUT I found this!! It's (almost) the ENTIRE BoM illustrated and summarized and it's online!

Looks like they put out videos too that summarize the BoM beginning to end. Here's a link to the video series. I haven't seen these, so I can't vouch for them, but they might be helpful! Similarly, there's a BoM in 60 seconds video you might find helpful.

If you'd benefit from a schedule, the church is currently studying the BoM in sunday school! The past few years, we've been using a study guide called Come Follow Me with weekly assigned reading chapters. I've actually been working on posts about CFM as they relate to queer mormon theology, but I haven't had much posted yet since I've been having a rocky start to 2024. As things improve, I'll be able to hopefully even establish a schedule on this blog!

I'm not sure if missionary lessons is something you're interested in at this point, and it's definitely not something you ever need to do, but the missionary lessons themselves are a pretty good doctrine intro if you're looking for just Mormonism 101 in a digestible way. The missionaries teach out a book called Preach My Gospel, which is available right here. You'll be interested in the lessons, which are found in Chapter 3. If you just scroll down, you'll see some of the links are labeled Lesson instead of Chapter--just click on those bad boys. And if you have any doctrinal questions, I'm always MORE than happy to talk about the church! You'll probably get a faster answer DMing me personally at @logans-mormon-blog, but I'll always answer asks here as soon as time permits.

If you're looking for easier ways to finish the BoM from beginning to end:

The BoM on tape. The church has an audiobook version available on the Gospel Library app and other audio apps like Spotify.

The Reader's Edition. If you can get your hand on a reader's edition, a lot of people find this is an easier way to plow through the BoM. What's special about this one is that it's formatted not like scripture but like prose, and it really does change the reading experience!

I don't know if this helps any, but I struggle with some of the same issues as you and I'm always bitterly disappointed when I'm not able to move mountains. If I had my way, I'd be the most well-read scriptorian of all time and this blog would be updated constantly. But life often doesn't shake out that way. I spend way more time than I want to with my brain entirely burned out of my head. So you're not alone, if that's any comfort. I think God gets it--he made our brains, after all, and knows how hard it is to wrestle with. It's easier said than done, but don't beat yourself up. God loves the both of us and he's the most perfectly patient person who's ever lived. He's not frustrated or disappointed with our efforts. Religion exists, in my opinion, to help improve and enrich our lives, not make them more challenging OR even to make them perfect if we only could just run fast enough. I too wish I could be more diligent and on it, but shit happens, right? And we're not on earth to be perfect, we're here to be happy and to learn. When Joseph Smith was translating the BoM, God told him "Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means provided to enable you to translate; but be diligent unto the end." D&C 10:4. We're doing our damndest, and that's all God even wants from us.

If anyone else has more resource ideas, please let us know!

-Logan

[shubblelive]

— RED PEN

— summary : wilbur's next show is in three days, and he just so happens to be in the same city as you.

— genre : fluff

— warnings : literally just the word sex, one singular curse word, mentions of food/eating

— pairing : musicianbur x reader

— featuring : musician!wilbur soot, lovejoy (mentioned)

— pronouns : none (you/yours)

— word count : 0.7k

— note: reader is in early 20s in uni and still lives at home also i accidentally adhd coded reader

you couldn't find your red pen.

you were colour-coding notes, and you had put your red pen somewhere and you couldn't keep writing your notes without it. your window was open, letting a light breeze in on one of the last warm nights of the year, and you were looking under your bed for the damn piece of stationary.

it was dark, and you were feeling slightly claustrophobic, phone flashlight in one hand the other pushing things out of the way.

"what are you doing?"

your head shot up, hitting the underside of your bed and making you swear loudly. you had to do the awkward reverse-army shuffle to get out from under your bed. it definitely wasn't dignified, and yet when you finally got to your feet the man in front of you couldn't be more enamored with you.

"wha- what am i doing?" you spluttered, diving into wilbur's open arms. "what are you doing? i thought you were on tour!"

wilbur chuckled and stroked your back. "i missed you,"

you buried your head in his neck. "i missed you." despite the fact that will only had a few hours with you and wanted to catch up on everything that you'd been doing, he let you hug him for as long as you needed.

"what were you doing under the bed?" he asked quietly, knowing your parents would be asleep.

"can't find my pen," you mumbled, not pulling away.

as much as he didn't want to, wilbur pulled back slightly so he could look you in the eyes. "it's in the fridge,"

"why the fuck would it be in the fridge?"

he took your hand, and gently lead you down the stairs. "well, if i know you, which i hopefully do, then i know you always forget to eat. and you know this," he gave you a look and you stuck your tongue out at him.

he reached your kitchen, letting you sit on the kitchen bench. he pulled open your fridge. "so, in an effort to remind yourself you put essential items with food," he tossed you your pen with one hand and held up a tupperware container of pasta you'd saved for dinner.

he was right, and you hated that he knew your weird little strategies. he saw your frown and put the container down, coming to wrap his arms around you. "darling," he said softly. "i love you,"

"i am embarrassing," you said decidedly, melting into his embrace.

"maybe," he mused, planting a kiss on your jaw. "but i still love you,"

"i think i'm done studying for tonight," you put a hand on his cheek. "let's go,"

will was lying on top of you in your bed, your fingers scratching gently at his scalp. "how did you get in, by the way?" you asked as an afterthought.

"window," he said simply. "the rest of the band booked a hotel, but i knew i had to see you," you kissed his forehead. "like i said. i missed you,"

"are you performing tomorrow?" you asked gently, almost scared to hear that he'd have to leave.

"nope," he sighed contentedly. "next show's in three days, and i don't leave 'till the afternoon before. so i am all yours until then."

"what do you wanna do?" his fingers traced along your arms with a feather light touch you'd missed so much it ached.

"we could have sex?" wilbur asked, and you couldn't stop yourself from giggling.

wilbur looked at you amused. "what's so funny?"

you snorted. "nothing, darling," you could barely get it out, wheezing. wilbur started laughing too until you both fell silent.

someone knocked on your door.

"everything alright?"

"mhm," you said. your parents understood you were an adult, and they adored wilbur, but you knew they wouldn't take too kindly to him sneaking into their house without them knowing. "yeah, sorry. just... on the phone to will. sorry, i'll keep it down,"

wilbur pressed his face into your sheets to stop from laughing, and as soon as your dad had gone he looked up at you. "god i've missed you,"

"ah shit," you said suddenly. "i forgot to eat."

[fujobritta]

okok because @constable-rohza asked . some stuff about my mq au (that goes with this fic !)

little note about making the au: because i know nothing about the california school system or just how school works in the united states in general i spent a while just very vaguely asking people i know in the us about how shit works there (i will never understand why elementary is 5 years and then middle is 3 and then high is 4 ??? here we have elementary for 6 and then junior high for 3 and then senior high for 3 . it makes so much more sense to me . anyways) like . why the fuck do freshman/sophomore/junior/senior exist . its just so insane . but i could talk about how much i hate america for days on end this is supposed about my au .

i write like most of the fic that goes with this au in class on folded sheets of a4 paper so heres some additional paraphrased notes that i found on those as well as some little fun facts ive been turning around in my head:

there this weird little timeline thing i spent like 30 minutes losing my mind over (i was incredibly tired and had nothing in my system but an adhd pill and a glass of milk and nothing was making sense to me) anyhow in that flashback at the start of the fic, as mentioned in the a/n at the end of the chapter, brad is 27 and david is 30 and they're sort-of-friends (brad doesn't want to call them friends but they are). jo at this time is 6 years old and david's ex-girlfriend kinda just stuck the kid with her . i had a bunch of backstory behind that but then i realized that i was probably never going to get into that so i just scrapped it . but it was the whole "you knocked me up before we broke up now i'm forcing you to take care of this kid because i don't give a shit anymore" thing and david is a pushover so he just took it . about 9 years later and like a month into the new school year, brad gets arrested . jo is 15 at this time, has to start school . he gets out on parole around two months before the school year ends .

jo's homeschooling wasn't really homeschooling, brad would just give her schoolwork with instructions and some teenager would sit there and babysit every day until brad got home early (made an arrangement to never have any classes to teach during the last period/block of the day) to cover anything she didn't understand . once she got old enough for brad and david to trust her at home alone (like 11-12ish) they stopped hiring a babysitter . she was about a year or two ahead in her studies when she starts at the high school brad and david work at so she breezes through most of her assignments and tests

before brad was a teacher he had some job in finance . what specifically ? nobody knows ! he never talks about his old job and just vaguely alludes to it because it creeps people out . all anyone knows about it is that he made a buttload of money from it . he decided to be a teacher for fun because he has a soft spot for kids and knows a ton of stuff

i wanted to stick fairly close with canon so no spoilers but the way brad got arrested was by covering for something jo did

when david was a kid he actually didn't have much interest in being a teacher, he wanted to be a firefighter and teaching was his plan b (one of his parents was a teacher) . he talks a weird amount about firefighters in the show and i wanted to incorporate it somehow :P also he forces his class to read brene brown

ok that's all for now because i still have to finish writing the fic and i may add some of the little details in my head into later chapters and i don't want to spoil too much !!!

[zipstidbits]

hi zip! 👋 i'm just really curious about how you got into astrophysics 👀 and what careers interest you in that field if you don't mind sharing ☺️ i just think it's so cool, but like, in the way of someone who knows absolutely nothing about astrophysics except that it's probably really hard and also rockets 😛🚀 have a lovely day! 💞

hi zesty!!!!! thanks so much for asking, i don't mind sharing at all :))))

how i got into astrophysics:

both my parents are second-generation americans so education/college was always The Big Goal growing up. this translated to my parents really emphasizing math and science skills and i got really interested in science this way. (the post-cold war american cultural emphasis on science as a whole probably contributed to this as well, lmao.)

i ended up momentarily ditching the science dream because i started struggling with math in middle school. i can do it, but my adhd means i struggle to hold numbers in my head (do mental math) and sometimes i can be slow/need to write things out more than others/make silly mistakes/and then get bogged down by imposter syndrome. this was like 10+ years ago so i had zero diagnoses and minimal support so i hopped onto the anti-math train.

i never stopped liking science though. i want to know everything and imo, science contains the answers to everything and is how we'll learn all that is unknown right now. once i hit high school and science class started having a shit ton more math i started to view math differently. it became the whole 'the enemy (math) of my enemy (the unknown) is my friend' thing. thankfully, math, when applied to physics concepts, makes more sense than when in a pure math class, so this became a very doable arrangement.

i also started consuming a lot more pop-science/science in the news around this time. neil degrasse tyson, the one astrophysics class i took in high school, and my dad who played a lot of star trek and pbs space videos on youtube to bond with me opened my mind to the most beautiful thing ever (space). i just think it's the coolest thing ever and the unknowns are so cool and i want to know what's going on up there so bad!!!!

this (and some spite*) led me to apply to college for a BS in physics. doing just physics and not astrophysics was sort of a safety net because i thought i'd really like particle physics too but it turns out quantum mechanics is evil and fucked up so i chose to stick with astrophysics as my concentration, lmao.

*i felt like a lot of my peers in high school assumed i couldn't do this because i wasn't naturally good at math/physics and i took a little more time and effort (i spent a lot of early mornings and afternoons in help sessions, lmao) and a part of me wanted to prove them wrong.

then, this past fall/winter, i applied for a bunch of astrophysics phd programs because i've thankfully got a BS degree and i've made my mind up on what i want to do in life (study/learn about space). i got rejected from 7 out of the 8 schools i applied to which was terrible in the moment but great now because i didn't really have to choose what program to accept, lmaoooooooooooo.

careers that interest me:

i very much enjoy teaching (i was a teaching assistant this year) and i would really like to continue it. i could probably do that in most research jobs by mentoring others in a lab/research setting but also being a professor sounds really cool and appealing to me since i could do research and traditional teaching, lmao.

i'm kind of willing to give most astrophysics research jobs a try, i think? the only line i'd really draw is i don't want to work anywhere near the american military-industrial complex for moral reasons

thank you again for asking zesty!!!! sorry for rambling so much and i hope you have a lovely day as well!!! <33333

[1ore]

Hi, I've been following you since Ye Olde Esk Days and you've always been a huge inspiration for me as a fellow gender-questioning neurodivergent lesbian both in art and science.

I've been wanting to reach out because I'm considering enrolling in Enviroinmental Sciences (or something in that ballpark) in 1 or 2 years and wanted to ask how your experience studying it has been to you as a person with an artistic bakground? I am afraid my ADHD might get in the way of maths, and that I might not be "smart" enough to pursue a degree in STEM, despite the fact I've always been interested in scientific subjects and in the conservation efforts around the area (and the river) I grew up in. so, yeah, I don't really know what else to say xmx I hope this message wasn't too much, and thank you for taking the time to read it. Your art and its message has always meant a lot to me! (also, happy Pride month!)

ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

So, funny enough, math anxiety is part of what what led me to Environmental Science in the first place. My degree is a Bachelor of Arts in Environmental Science, not a Bachelor of Science, because IIIIIII didn’t want to take more semesters of calculus and organic chemistry than I had to 🤪 I struggled with math in highschool, and by the time I went back to school, it had been more than 5 years since I last took a math class. I was also more interested in the interdisciplinary parts of Environmental Science, so a BA let me put more credit hours towards classes in policy, law, social science, humanities, etc.

As far as I know, having a BA hasn’t held me back. I’ve been accepted into internships and other programs doing “real science” just fine. Maybe this won’t always be true, but I’ve figured out that I like teaching and engaging people in science more than I like being in academia, so that works out fine for me.

As for my experience with ADHD and math/science courses, I have euuuauuuehhh a lot of thoughts. This gets dense, sorry.

First, my ADHD came with a side of anxiety, which manifested as a compulsion to do well academically regardless of how much my mental health suffered. Doing busy work felt like hell on earth for reasons that were then mysterious to me, but disappointing my teachers felt Worse. So I became really good at, like, academic minmaxing, not so much learning or taking care of myself. It’s hard to articulate. I want to say I was muddling through these classes as a professional test-taker and not a student, and also not applying myself fully. But at the same time, I felt like I was well beyond my breaking point? This made more sense to me later when I got the diagnosis LOL. my capacity for doing the things I’m supposed to do, the way I’m supposed to do them, is lower than other peoples’. So either I do what I’m not supposed to do, or I do it “the wrong way.” <- meaningless.

I say all that because coursework is a poor metric of how “good” you are at science or math, or whether you'll enjoy doing them outside of the classroom. We know this LOL but I want to reiterate it. I learned how to get really good grades without learning how to reason my way through why xyz methodology is justified, or how to ask questions and be curious about what’s happening around me. It’s corny but it’s true. on one hand I still struggle with these, because I’m still working under the assumption that whatever’s going on in my head is the “wrong” way to do it. But ADHD does a lot of heavy lifting for us with lateral thinking and being able to make connections that other people can’t always see. If you want to do Science ™ (as in academic research,) this is an awesome tool to have in your toolkit.

There’s also a whole world of environmental work outside of academia that demands its own skillset, which coursework may or may not teach. Like, if you want to do hands-on restoration work or interpretive work or field technician stuff, this is less “can you spit out the balanced equation for photosynthesis on command” and more “can you operate a woodchipper” or “are you comfortable with public speaking and customer service.“ This is another part of what attracted me to envirosci--how wide-ranging the job market is. The backdrop of science is the same, but your day-to-day responsibilities can look wildly different.

Also, if it’s any encouragement, being an arts person has been a huge plus in my experience. My most recent employer told me outright that the artsy scicomm stuff in my resume is what made them think “oh, we need her.” Art and science are wives LOL a lot of the skills you hone as an artist are invaluable in science, especially if you’re doing any kind of communication work. (<- has seen some poorly-written papers and incomprehensible figures in her time)

Going along with that, back when I was yea high and wanted to do art professionally, I remember people telling me that you only go to art school for the professional connections. A lot of STEM careers are locked behind having a specialized degree, but I think this advice is still applicable here. Being a “good student” hasn’t helped me as much as abandoning my anxiety and sending cold emails, showing up at peoples’ guest lectures and office hours, participating fully and sincerely, etc. The stuff I did outside the classroom was more meaningful to me, in the end. (That said, I was lucky to have several classes that were more skills/training-oriented for things like GIS, field botany, conducting environmental assessments for NEPA, etc. You can swing projects for classes like these as opportunities to build skills or create portfolio pieces.)

OK. I thiiiink that’s everything I have for you? I hope that answers your question. If not, I can give it another shot. I'll also leave you with this answer from beloved mutual Heedra re: what Environmental Science as a major is like. I can't believe it's 6 years old because it's part of what put Environmental Science on my radar in the first place LOL

[69consellationsinatrenchcoat]

✨Welcome to 69 Constellations* in a Trenchcoat✨

*alters (our increasingly misnamed system blog, we don't have 69 alters.)

As a general rule of thumb we're a system, not plural. We work together as a family to recover... we're a system, trying to recover. Singlar parts of a greater whole.

Welcome to our little corner of the internet. We go by Constellation, or TheConsellationCollective, or as some of you may know us; 69ottersinatrenchcoat.

We have diagnosed dissociative identity disorder (DID), autism, ADHD, and chronic pain… and a few other things that if you stick around you'll learn about.

We tend to post a mix of things we enjoy and informative content.

.°˖✧ Meet the Team ✧˖°.

Kaden, they/he (🐚): 18 years - bisexual - trans masc - INTP 5w6 I wish I could say I'm interesting but… I'm not really. I'm trans masc, a bisexual disaster, eighteen years old and a massive Swiftie. I adore stats and analysing patterns where I can, especially in personalities, human behaviour and the brain.. I play lot of the Legend of Zelda, and adore the franchise. I'm a massive nerd and proud of it haha. Atheist (humanist).

Kyle, he/him (💜): 21 years - pansexual - cis man - ENFJ 2w3 Dad to like, everyone... and madly in love with Lillia. Also, he's my older brother. He's seriously awesome, and does a lot of our religious related content at school. Christian.

Lillia, she/her (🪻): 19 years - bisexual - demigirl - INFP 1w9 Our resident creative genius. Loves painting, drawing, writing, and all things artsy.. she's an amazing poet (will deny) but I've read her work, I cried. She's softly spoken and can usually be found with her head in a book, quietly debating philosophical concepts or caring for our littles.

Amber (🔥) they/she: 20 years - bi ace - apagender/gender apethetic - INFJ 8w9 I'm the main protector of our system and I manage chronic pain where I can. As the original post said, I'm a writer, I wrote poetry a lot to escape this..absolute train wreck of a world. I often spark drama and controversy in my family by having rather unusual opinions, and because of how I word things (it's not intentional). I'm bi, but ace, and as Kaden said, a druid [edited 11/6/24 by Amber]

Link/Wild, they/she/he (🗡️): 17 years - bisexual - genderfluid - ISTP 9w8 Our fun-loving adventurer. Loves trying new things and having fun, and being... chaos on legs. He can and will, eat everything. My amazing boyfriend (..and yes, he's an introject from LoZ). Religion wise he follows Hylia and the triforce goddesses.

Some of us don't post here and don't want info up and that is totally okay, and will be respected. However, they may post at their leisure, but will usually sign off in the tags with "posted by [emoji]"

The list above doesn't include everyone :)

Littles post mostly on @fivelittlemuffins and will remain anonymous

.°˖✧ System Info ✧˖°.

We go by constellation and use they/them pronouns. We're bodily an adult, and studying to become a psychologist; we start our psych degree at the beginning of 2025!!

.°˖✧ DNI ✧˖°.

Syscourse: we believe that, psychologically, systems cannot be formed without trauma. If you are experiencing amnesia, identity confusion etc, it's best to speak with a psychologist or another mental health professional. We do not want to get involved in syscourse if at all possible.

Homophobia, transphobia, any kind of queerphobia, religious discrimination, hate speech etc, on our blog will be cause for an instant block.

Under 16s, please do not follow.

this is the better intro post (you can find the old one, here)

[lost-girl-2021]

Do have any head cannons for the Days into Decades characters?

I have a couple that I've (mostly) worked into the story, but here're some random thoughts.

KIRI

Kiri is low-key a drug dealer. Like, not in a shady way, just 'in the spirit of enlightenment' sort of way. She started smoking maybe a year or two before, the summer before she started high school, and she may or may not have a small garden growing under her conveniently high bed.

She wants to be a doctor, but wants to specialize in homeopathic/alternative medicines. She volunteers/interns as a candy striper type of thing at the hospital where her mom works and enjoys spending time at the hospital. However, she also has seen the dangers of painkillers and their addictive properties, which spurred her interest in alternative medicine.

She wants to be a doctors because of her mom, both of them. Growing up, she saw Neytiri as a hero, saving lives and curing people. When she was old enough to understand what happened to Grace (I think I said she was dead-dead in this one, I don't remember anymore) it inspired her to become a doctor even more. Because, while her mother was more of a scientist than a healer, she was working to help people just like Neytiri. Both of them are her heroes and she is eager to be like them.

NETEYAM

Neteyam is definitely a studier. He's very strict with himself when it comes to schoolwork (and pretty much everything). He skipped a grade in school, not just because he's super smart, but because he's been so dedicated to his studies, to the point where he'd been bumped up a grade in junior high.

He's also a private person. He doesn't really hide anything from his friends and family, so much as he just doesn't feel the need to share every little thing. He's pretty self-reliant and he kind of acts like a self-cleaning oven sometimes. He does everything and takes care of himself in every way, which sometimes brings to him shutting people out on accident. Because, he doesn't need anyone or anything and he has to remember that other people don't run at 100% capacity like he seems to.

Probably will have a small mental breakdown sometime during his first semester at college. Because, even though he's been preparing for this for years, he's never been away from his family for so long and he misses home and he just needs a break. Probably cries as soon as he gets home for winter break, freaking out absolutely everyone. His mom is convinced he's injured, his dad flat out carries him to a couch or his bed, his siblings are running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

He dates. I'm not saying Neteyam is a player or anything, but contrary to his sibling's (and Spider's) belief, he dates. He's had two girlfriends, one no more than a middle school fling. He's currently back with his second girlfriend in Days Into Decades, but they're keeping it casual, to say the least. She kind of bossy, which works out well because he needs to learn how to relax and nobody else can talk him away from studying.

LO'AK

My dude Lo'ak is kind of crazy. Like, not crazy, but he's just chaotic as fuck. Probably has ADHD, and definitely needs someone to tell him he's going too far sometimes. That's part of why him and Tsireya work so well. She's calm where he's energetic and he's spontaneous where she's detail-oriented. Yin and Yang style.

Lo'ak feels like the odd one out in his family, sometimes. Unlike in canon, he's not particularly different species-wise ig, but he's constantly comparing himself to his siblings. It feels like everyone has there place except him. Neteyam is going to become an officer in the military or something and Lo'ak knows he doesn't have the discipline for all of that. Kiri is basically a doctor in her own right at this point, always glued to their mother's side when they aren't at school. Tuk is the baby, the apple of her parent's eye. She can do no wrong. And, in the past couple of years, Lo'ak feels like all he can do is wrong.

Spider makes him feel better, when they're together. They have the most in common out of everyone, between skating and music (and weed). When Spider moved, it hit him especially hard, because they hadn't talked in forever and just as they repaired their friendship, he was gone.

I like the idea that Lo'ak used to sneak over when he was mad at his parents, or when he knew Spider had a particularly shitty day. The McGregor's had a gazillion guest rooms, but Lo'ak would stay with Spider, either crashing on the bean bag or ending up sprawled on the bed next to Spider (100% platonically, FYI). Usually he'd wake up with hair or a foot in his face, but it was usually worth it.

TUK

Tuk is just vibing in this AU. She goes to elementary school and then her dad picks her up and they usually get ice cream or go to the library for an hour or so until her siblings get out of school. Every drawing goes on the fridge.

Probably one of those kids who collects cool bugs and then tries to figure out what kind they are. Butterflies too. She tried to catch a bird once, but it didn't work out well. She got to hold a baby chick once though and she didn't stop talking about it for at least two weeks.

Sees Spider as just another one of her brothers, even if he doesn't live with them. Before he went to live with Quaritch, he'd ride with them to school every day and he'd been around constantly for as long as Tuk can remember. She doesn't even question it, just accepts it as a fact. Cause, Kiri has a birth mom and then a mom-mom and she's still Tuk's sister, so obviously it works the same with Spider.

NEYTIRI

Neytiri is like Cristina Yang plus a strong family drive. Badass, and cutthroat when she needs to be. All the new doctors/nurses/staff are surprised as fuck when scary Dr. Sully shows up with an actual ray of sunshine named Kiri, who's the scariest doctor's daughter. (Kiri thinks this is very funny and feeds into the rumor mill of how scary her mom is).

She works long hours, but they're steady and after so long at the hospital she's managed to secure weekends off for the most part. Her shifts are 48 hours, but she usually manages to go home for an hour or two to say goodnight to her children or have dinner with them.

JAKE

Works Private Security now that he's out of the army. Usually a goofy guy, full of dad jokes and shit, but when it comes to serious stuff it's a complete switch. The kids all know that mom's the strict one, but Dad's the one they don't want to get mad. He'll ground someone for a whole week just for cursing. Lo'ak once shoplifted when he was twelve and he lost his skateboard for the summer.

PTA dad. Knows all the events, has a whole calender that's color-coded and everything. Knows other parents by first names. He treats it like a very important job. (All the other PTA moms are jealous of Neytiri, some of the school bs is just so boring, they'd love husbands who wanted to take over the bake sale).

SPIDER

Has and will be grouped in with the Sully kids. Not even just by Jake and Neytiri, but the school and people around town. Like, the school faculty know he's a foster kid and they just kind of assume he's the Sully's foster kid. So do classmates who always see them together, carpooling and hanging out and stuff. Like, some of them have been going to school together since kindergarten, it's just kind of an unspoken acknowledgment.

Jake and Neytiri have definitely punished him before (usually when he does something stupid alongside one of their kids and he's caught with them). He's had his skateboard taken, been put in time-outs, etc. Mostly when he was younger and fully a wild child. One time jake saw him at a coffee shop when he was supposed to be in school and went full truant officer on him.

[loser-female]

Nothing, just every time I sit around to think about ADHD I inevitably see all the abuse I've been through in front of my eyes again.

Now I just want to go cry in a corner.

The truth is that... I don't have any superpowers. I'm a 2x dropout. I cannot remember years of my life and the memories i have are extremely fragmented and difficult to put together. If I didn't have ADHD I wouldn't have been abused causing trauma that will never go away. I barely graduated high school - it took me 7 years instead of 5, I was too depressed to get out of bed at a certain point -and for some reason I thought I could do physics. And I can understand very difficult concepts, they don't fly over my head. But my country universities are completely unstructured. I got told "do these things in a three months time", so I couldn't keep up (and I also had chronic pain). I just cannot. I need a degree to keep going with my career but at this point I 100% believe it's over my possibilities, so I don't think I will ever reach the role of a SOC manager or a CISO.

I struggle daily to daily because all my energy goes to my job and when I'm done I'm exhausted. I have to make my boyfriend that does a physical heavy job (he is a factory worker) do 70% of the stuff because I just cannot. I do want to, but everything goes out of the window because I spent my whole day trying to focus. And he needs to double check because I forget. I forget to do laundry, I forget to take out the laundry and it then smells bad and I need to rewash it, then I forget it again. I don't miss my cats stuff because they are annoying.

While I'm actively monitoring I sometimes forget what I'm doing. And with sometimes I mean twice a day. Then I remembered and I have 10 alerts to analyse and then I get distracted again. It doesn't compromise the quality of my analysis for a miracle. Because I triple check everything, but I'm slower than my coworkers.

I called a customer yesterday because I contained his asset from the network (which is a very invasive operation) and I couldn't remember for the sake of my life if he disabled the email only or the whole o365 account. I still don't know. And it's a problem because I need to report to my coworkers and I will definitely look like an idiot if I gave them the wrong information. (They know about my ADHD and are very understanding)

I say"I need to reply to that email" and it's four months and now it's unacceptable to do this.

I recently failed a job interview because I forgot crucial information at the wrong time. I rely a lot on my notes and mindmaps which are great if you do intelligence analysis, but not that great when people expect you to remember everything.

I forgot to pay my water bill for 6 months because it got lost. I misplaced it, everyone thought it was being paid and it wasn't. (Idk how I didn't get my water shut off. Learned my lesson and now it get out directly from my bank account).

I forget to call my family for weeks because to me time makes no sense. Which is the reason why I struggle so much with my very necessary self study things. I need to get them done. I don't have the brain parts required to do that.

It's so awful, I get help but it cannot change the biology of my brain. I hope I will get some sort of "cure", although I rationally know it's impossible.

I'm scared to have kids because no way I'm condemning someone else to the amount of daily struggle I have. Especially my own child!

This is what living with ADHD actually looks like. Failing over and over again, and if you have good people around they will not mind that much, but I admit I wouldn't give me half of the slack my loved ones do to me. It's not the secret of any success, it doesn't make me "creative" or anything. In fact, I would have written how much stuff if I could finish what I start! How many things could I have done! I'd be a physics professor now. I'd have a PhD or something. I wouldn't have lost a decade of my life (1/3 of my life) to depression and anxiety.

Not that I have a bad job, I love my job, I earn more than I would have if I actually stayed in physics. even if things turned good for me that doesn't mean I don't miss what I could have been.

[emeritus-fuckers]

Match-up event - Jez

(Nyx and I decided to match each other up for lols)

Let's go. I'm twenty, agender (afab), somewhere between bi and pansexual, poly and somewhere under the aromantic umbrella. Don't mind any pronouns in particular. I want one match-up with a human and one with a ghoul (let's see how you handle it babes). I study writing, might pick up a second major in journalism, dunno yet. Theistic satanist. Monsterfucker. Mask kink af.

I'm 164 centimeters tall (I'm not looking it up in feet). I've got a soft tummy and pretty good ass (lmao). You know how I look like, though I am planning to dye my hair blue.

They're not done yet, but I wanna include this anyway: tattoos. I'm not including any that could guide you to a potential result :p

Little cartoon seal on my right arm (for my sister)

Little cartoon panda on my right arm (for my brother)

Spider-Punk emblem on my left shoulder

666 under my left collar bone

A little plague doctor on my right arm

Also planning to get a shit ton of piercings all over my body. (Not just face and ears if you know what i mean), but that's for later. I like getting my nails done, usually to colors are symbolic or just a reference to something.

I usually wear skinny jeans and hoodies with some weird print. I love oversized hoodies, they are like my main source of comfort. I have chains attached to my pants, and I love wearing too many necklaces. I usually have ghearrings (the ghost crosses) in my ears and another one on a chain around my neck. Also wearing a Baphomet (like the goat head in a pentagram) necklace, a pride heart one, a matching besties necklace with Vic and occasionally a choker. I do occasionally do all out, wearing a white dress shirt, black skinny jeans, a leather jacket and the listed jewelry with my favorite rainbow sneakers and round sunglasses. With lots of rings, mostly something skull/plant/occult themed. Always silverish color, never gold. I don't like gold.

Outside from Ghost, I mostly listen to rock and different kinds of metal. And FNaF songs.

I was a Creepypasta kid. Aside from Polish and English I speak some German and bits of Italian, but very little. I can read most arabic letters (as in I know what sounds they make).

I have lots of different posters on my walls and I have stickers on my furniture because I grew up too fast and I'm catching up on my childhood now. I've got mental issues, including but not limited to autism, ADHD, depression, anxiety, mommy issues and daddy issues. I like calling them my pokemon.

I like writing (though I barely have time for that) and re-watching Total Drama (watched it 8 times just this year) since it manages to keep my attention, something most movies fail to do, which is why I barely watch anything. I get bored very easily. I play the Sims 4 a lot, but I can't build in it for the life of me. I'm amazing at building in the Sims 3. Big fan of Assassin's Creed (I don't like the new ones, though, since it doesn't feel like AC anymore to me). I own many true crime and paranormal activity books, though I can barely read at this point. I like manga, though. Currently collecting the Soul Eater series. I love plushies. I got a new one today. Their name is Pyza. (Yes, they're enby, I even got them a pin)

I know way more about butterflies than I should. I know lots of useless trivia in general. Most of it disturbing. I'm tired 24/7, but my body either wakes up before 7AM or after 6 hours exactly and it's impossible for me to fall asleep again. My room is usually a mess, but that's okay, so am I.

I'm a total introvert, but I'm also so tired with life I forced myself to become the extrovert of the group. I'm really loud if I like people, although my affection is usually random touches on someone's arms and shoulders with a strange noise. I make noises. A lot.

For some reason, babies love me. Even though I personally dislike children. I love pets, though. All sorts of pets. Cats, dogs, snakes, spiders... Anything. If I can pet it, I want to pet it. I love moths from the attacus family, I mean just look at this gorgeous girl!

As for my personality, aside from daily mental breakdowns, I'm relatively chill, just... Very unhinged. I talked about Secondo's dick piercings in McDonald's. Compared to the shit I say, Terzo's an angel.

I think that's all. Have fun babes <3 - Jez

[anghraine]

Do you have any advice for navigating chronic mental health stuff and grad school? How has your advisor handled it?

Background: I'm finishing my first year of a PhD. The classwork was fine/ easy, but the research was not, and my advisor isn't happy. Part of this is from my mental health slipping (the rest is normal research life); her reaction was that I need to either take a break until this is resolved or leave, since she's at a point in her career where she doesn't want to deal with unreliable students. When I mentioned getting tested for ADHD, she heavily implied I therefore can't cut it in the program. There are no other professors in my program doing research even slightly related to my field. I know this is illegal, but it also seems pretty normal for grad school. Have you seen advisors handle that sort of disclosure well?

No issues if this is too detailed/ you don't want to respond!

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that! That's super shitty, though I have heard of roughly similar things happening. However, it is definitely not my experience in my own PhD program with my advisor (except that my advisor was also my only real option as far as research goes).

My advisor has been extremely kind about my mental health, despite it causing a significant amount of inconvenience and concern for him personally. I didn't mind talking about why that is any more, but I'll put the longer version of the story under a cut. (Mind the tag.)

I had an awful breakdown from late 2020 up to the end of 2021/early 2022 (bipolar mood swings from "can't focus but lalalala" to "suicidally depressed for months" coupled with autism problems and extreme anxiety). My advisor and department chair didn't know what was going on, but they were concerned that I stopped responding to basically anything, and I nearly did have to leave the program.

But the one major university thing I did manage to do during this time was to get my clinical autism diagnosis confirmed through testing services and to consistently see a psychiatrist. Both the psychologist and psychiatrist I ended up seeing strongly recommended reaching out to my advisor, disclosing my conditions/their impacts on study, and seeing what my situation was at that point.

So (after considerable angst) I put together an email to him, and he quickly wrote back. He was fantastic. He just said he was glad to hear from me and know how I was doing, and handled a lot of the bureaucratic end of things. I did end up needing to disclose basically everything (except the suicidal ideation, which I did not mention to anyone except my psychiatrist) to the department chair and head of graduate studies, and it all turned out okay in the end.

That's a big part of the reason that passing my exams and getting advanced to candidate is so surreal and such a big deal for me. But I really am inexpressibly grateful to my advisor for helping me through an extremely rough patch, where he went well beyond what he really had to do. As a side note, our research only partly coincides, but I would not exchange him for anyone (he studies 18th/19th lit in English where I study 17th/18th British).

So I guess my takeaway is that, as someone with mental health problems, having a supportive, helpful advisor made a lot more of a difference than having common interests with him. Your advisor seems genuinely quite bad to me. I don't really have a solution for you, though taking advantage of student health services was helpful for me, personally, in having documentation I could direct people to.

And if you really do need to go on academic leave and she's willing to approve it, sometimes it can be helpful in recuperating from academic life for awhile if you can afford the delay. Alternatively, you might look for more helpful people to have on your committee if that's how it works at your institution. You might also go to the chair of your department with your concerns if you feel you can trust them (bearing in mind that it's kind of the nuclear option). If you're seeing a counselor and/or psychiatrist/psychologist, you might also ask them what they suggest, since they'll know your institution.

[thelastcetra]

Q&A Time

Thanks for the tag, @jimtheviking ! I love doing these~

Do you make your bed? Almost never. I hate it. I wish I could and it would look all nice and stuff, but it takes too much energy out of my ADHD brain.

Favorite number: 2, 3, 7, 13

What's your job: I'm a software engineer who is currently making a game.

If you could go back to school, would you? If I can study for fun I would totally go to school again. I'd also like to relive high school to some extent but like a week or so. I am happy with my life but high school was really fun for me.

Can you parallel park? With thoughts and prayers and hand gestures of the every person around my car, helping me, yeah.

Do you think aliens are real? Absolutely, yes.

Can you drive a manual car? Yes. But it's been years.

What's your guilty pleasure? No guilt, only pleasure.

Tattoos? None yet. I have at least 3 I want to get.

Favourite colours: Blue, yellow, pink, anything pastel...

Favourite types of music: I usually listen to soft rock and alternative pop, but I really listen whatever I like. My playlists are one whiplash after another.

Do you like puzzles? Yes!

Any phobias? Yes but I don't want to write here in case Tumblr starts recommending me posts about it. It's an animal.

Favourite childhood sport? Swimming is the only sport I ever loved and will love.

Do you talk to yourself? Yup. Mostly in my head but sometimes out loud too.

I don't know who is into these q&a stuff so whoever wants to do this, please go ahead! Don't forget to tag me~