#internet brother

[chaotic-archaeologist]

got a question for ya regarding sex and online safety.

Background; I am an adulty adult. I have been able to and have voted in more than 3 elections. [I know you take interactions with minors seriously]. I am also ace and autistic. as a result I have never felt the urge to date and I normally don't mind having friends close by.

However, I also just moved for the 4th time since 2019 and would like to meet people.

So I downloaded Grindr. already got my first dickpic lol. I have also been chatting with a fellow who I like and would like to be friends with and I also wouldn't mind exploring my kinks with people... but I have never had to worry about safe online sexy stuff before so I don't know the basics beyond normal internet safety.

What do I do‽‽‽

Okay first, thanks for clarifying the adulty part. This is an awesome question, and here's the advice/steps that I personally follow for situations like this.

Have your first meeting in a public place. Go for coffee or ice cream or lunch or dinner or whatever. But don't meet them alone. This way, if you get uncomfortable with anything that's happening, they're much less likely to continue with that behavior after you attempt to extricate yourself.

Make sure there are no expectations. Plan not to have sex on the first date/meet up. Grindr often tends to ignore this rule since it's very hookup centric, but you're absolutely within your rights to insist on taking things as slowly as you want to.

Don't rely on the other person for transportation. If you choose to meet someone, get yourself there and plan to get yourself back. Walk, bike, drive, public transportation, unicycle, it's all good. But there's much less room for pressure if you're not depending on them for a ride home. This segues nicely into my next point:

Do not tell them where you live. At least, not right now. Plenty of people on Grindr are willing to "host" meaning you can come to their place. That's fine for them, but I err on the side of never giving anyone my address until I've had a thorough chance to assess their character and meet them a few times.

Tell someone where you will be. Let someone who cares about you know that you're going out, where you'll be, and what time you expect to return. Establish a time to check in when you're going home/if you choose to extend the meeting. There are also apps like Noonlight that can function similarly.

Be careful about what you consume. If you're going to enjoy and mind alternating substances, be very, very careful. This goes for anything from getting drinks at a bar to any and all of the recreational drugs on the market.

Be prepared for a little bit of awkwardness. Meeting someone in person is often very different than chatting online. If the conversation is awkward or halting, that's okay. Give it a little time (but also don't be afraid to trust your gut if it's telling you something is wrong).

Communicate clearly. If you have any needs—which can range from an allergy, not being able to stand for long periods of time, needing them to speak loudly so you can hear them, safety concerns—the best way to get those met is to be upfront. You don't need to disclose the reason why you need something if it makes you uncomfortable, just state what you need. People worth spending time with will respect that. The same thing goes for your wants.

Use protection. Maybe this isn't applicable for you specifically, but I think it belongs on this list. Condoms. Dental dams. Gloves. Someone on an app telling you they're negative for any number of things is not an actual guarantee they're not lying to you. Not wanting to use protection (not just for anal/vaginal intercourse, but for oral sex as well) is a huge red flag. Decide in advance what your boundaries are and stick to them.

If it sucks, hit da bricks. Fundamentally, you owe this person nothing. There is no consequence for saying "you know what, I'm not feeling this and I'm going to leave." Be as polite as you want to, but put yourself first.

At the end of the day, the only thing you have control over is you. How you react, where you meet this person, what you do—that's what you control. Hopefully any meet ups will be fun and relatively safe, but just in case, set yourself up for success by maintaining what control you can.

From one adult to another, these are all suggestions rather than rules. Many people on Grindr choose not to follow various ones, and that's fine. Take some time to think about what you're comfortable with and make your decisions accordingly.

Also, best practice for someone sending an unsolicited dick pic (if you don't want them) is just to block that person. But sending a return picture like this one is a hilarious option.

-Reid

[battlevann]

Mutuals i hope i am a weird imp and maybe your weird internet family member to you

[withoutatrace-pkmn]

(@friendball-irl)

TRACE ARE YOU ALRIGHT??? YOU HAD ME WORRIED

oh fuck I’m so sorry! I’m fine, just got a bit roughed up last night!

You are absolutely, undoubtedly not fine.

well I’m better than I was last night. heads a bit clearer. now I just have to figure out how to… what to do.

are you ok? you were in the tangle last night right? that place is fucked up

[y2k-internetexplorer]

[disintegreate]

⋆｡ ⋆⭒˚🕆 ⋆⭒˚｡ ⋆ 

[hawkeyedflame]

[ijustdontlikepeople]

Nhl x internet 5/?

[brucewaynehater101]

Reverse Robin AU

Tim, pissed that he got replaced as Robin, decides to kidnap Jason and go off grid. He bribes him with books, plenty of online literature classes, and Alfred's signed approval.

When Bruce debuts with 9 year old Dick Grayson, Tim pulls the same stunt. He has a nursery set up for Zitka, though.

[slutpoppers]

Terriermon digivolves into Gargomon for the first time, Digimon the Movie

[chaotic-archaeologist]

reid im halfway through my first ever dig and ive literally just been crying the whole morning even while digging cos my trench is just so confusing and overwhelming and i can barely tell contexts apart and i feel so dumb but i really can barely see any differences at this point idk how im gonna make it through the latter half of the season i dont even know why im telling you this i just dont know who else to go to

Okay, first things first, take a deep breath. You are learning. It is okay for you to be confused! You are not expected to know everything your first or even second time around.

I'll let you in on a little secret: I felt this way on my first dig. I still sometimes feel this way. I've participated in four excavations, I'm still relatively inexperienced.

The best advice I can give you is to ask questions. Don't be hesitate about it. If your supervisor points out something you don't understand, ask "what do you see?" or "what are you looking for?"

The vast majority of archaeological knowledge is built up through experience and amassed comparative knowledge. Your supervisor has years of fieldwork under their belt that they're drawing on when they make conclusions. You don't have this knowledge bank, and that's okay—this is your chance to build it!

I'm going to call on @archaeologistproblems and @archaeologysucks, both veteran CRM archaeologists who might have helpful insights. Anyone else with experience is also welcome to chime in.

You are not dumb, you're just inexperienced. That is not anything to be ashamed of.

Keep your trowel sharp and your heart hopeful, -Reid

[warhysteria]

older brother core

[withoutatrace-pkmn]

(@friendball-irl)

I GOT THAT REFERENCE :D

AYYYYY MY BROTHER IS A MAN OF CULTURE

[y2k-internetexplorer]

Xbox cats!!!

[jestroer]

I love being a part of hermitcraft fandom, not a single normal person in sight, I think sometimes am i being too weird and then i see my mutual being absolutely fucking insane on dash and think ah no im fine actually 

[immortal-dreamer]

how the fuck do you make a free web series that's been available for free for the past 20 years on youtube and now it's suddenly paywalled

and it's not even available to pirate because it's been free for so long im actually going to fucking break something

[slurpid]

I eat and am eaten.