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stanfanfiction · 11 months

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Taste of You - Ken / fem! Reader fanfic - PART TWO

Edit: multiple parts have been uploaded and can be found on my pinned Masterlist on my profile :)

Tags/ warnings: 18+ ONLY / virgin Ken / oral (f and m receiving) / lots of fluff and horny angst / bashful Ken / first time sex / Ken being confused and adorable and hot / slow burn / smut / praise k!nk

Ken stared at you, nodding slightly, but his nerves seemed to still get the better of him at your soft command to “get in the bed.” You touched his cheek gently. He hummed happily, nuzzling his cheekbone into your palm, eyes twinkling, still looking at you, enjoying being treated so gently.

“What is it, Ken?”

He closed his eyes for a moment, breathed in, and brought a hand up to make sure your hand stayed against his cheek. He shrugged the tiniest bit, glancing away when he opened his eyes again. “I, well, I thought I knew enough….to…I wanted to…impress you.”

Any shred of his forced “cool” demeanor completely gone, you smiled at him, small and quiet. “You do impress me, Ken.”

He stared. “Don’t lie to me. Please,” he whispered, sounding choked up.

You shook your head. “I’m not. I won’t.” You get why Ken might not have the best self esteem, especially considering his kind of forced himbo status since his “birth” into the world and considering how, reading through the lines based on what Ken had told you, that all of the Kens back in Barbieland held the same level of intellect. So you got why he would, here with you in your world, definitely feel overwhelmed and possibly not the brightest.

Ken glanced down at himself again, still holding your palm to his cheek. “You promise?”

“Ken, everyone has to learn this kind of thing this way, and have someone show them.”

He stood a little straighter then. “Yeah?”

“Mmmhmm.” You slowly reached your free hand towards his cock, which did somehow resemble a gorgeously huge, fake looking sex toy you would get at a shop. But then, he WAS technically a doll…somehow…even here, in your world..you stopped thinking too hard about it as you wrapped your hand softly around the base of him, not wanting to move too fast, making sure he felt comfortable with everything. He inhaled sharply as you applied pressure with your hand, although not moving it yet.

“Is this okay, Ken?” You whispered.

He continued to stare at your hand wrapped around him as you kept a steady grip on his shaft, gently gliding up to his tip. As you circled your thumb around his crown, he let out the most gorgeous shiver. The noise that escaped his lips was almost silent but made you suddenly desperate to hear more, hear him louder.

“How is this?” You asked, thumb continuing to rub on him.

He exhaled loudly, his hand gripping the your one that he had been holding to his face by the wrist and squeezing, almost in pulses, unintentionally in time with the bolts of pleasure he was feeling as you touched him.

“This is…it’s good. Really,” he swallowed, “really good.” He shuddered again, and you knew you had to get him on the bed and start to have your way with him already.

“Ken, can I keep doing this to you? But, on the bed?”

He finally looked back up into your eyes. His pupils were huge, and he breathed through his mouth - god, how the fuck were you so attracted to his mouth now, and thinking of the things you would teach him to do with it.

“Mmmhmm,” he replied, short, simple. “What do you want me to do?”

“Just lie back, get comfortable.” You removed your hand from his groin, and he moaned in disappointment. “I’ll start again, once you’re..” you nodded to the bed directly behind you. He walked to where you had directed, not letting go of your wrist, and sat down, staring at you expectedly. You felt like you should have been frustrated but somehow every moment of this was just blissful, quiet, mesmerizing. Watching him was *truly* mesmerizing.

“Okay, get further up the bed. Lay back for me.”

He did as you asked, still not letting go of your wrist, thus pulling you up towards the headboard with him. It was as if he was afraid you would leave if he let you go.

“Good Ken,” you said, not really thinking through your words until you heard him breathe in sharply again. Oohhhh….of course he would have a praise kink. And of course he wouldn’t even known what a *kink* is yet, you thought.

His eyes trained on you every moment, you straddled him slowly. His gaze flickered up to your face, your lips, down to your legs suddenly encasing his hips, back to your eyes, then your hand as you set it firmly onto his muscled chest.

“I’m going to need this hand back,” you said, gesturing to your imprisoned wrist.

Ken shook his head. You bit back a giggle. “Why, Ken?”

“I don’t want to,” he said simply, not forced or dominant, just…an answer.

“It’ll be easier to make you feel good if you do.”

He paused, then using that same wrist, pulled you down towards him. You were a bit shorter than he was, so even with your hips at the same distance as his, your face barely hovered over his head as you were forced to lean over him, your free hand supporting you still ground into his chest. You weren’t sure what it was he needed, but the tension between you was so thick -

Ken reached his free hand up to tangle in your hair, lifting his head up to suck your lips into his. A moan escaped you effortlessly as he nipped and pulled on your mouth. As you gently dug your nails into his chest, his hips bucked, unexpectedly for the both of you. His head fell back immediately and you were now beginning to become slightly annoyed that he didn’t know what he was doing, because he bare cock stabbing into your panties just then made you want to ride him, hard and NOW. He gasped at the same time you did, staring up at the ceiling as in disbelief.

“THIS is why I need both my hands, Ken,” you said, your voice firm now. He looked at you, his body stiff, chest heaving.

“If you don’t like anything, literally anything at all, tell me. I will stop.” You stared back at him, and saw in his eyes that he believed you. “I promise.”

He finally released your wrist. Somehow the loss of his grip actually made you sad for a moment. You cursed yourself in your head then sat back up, moving your hips down a bit so his groin was now fully exposed to you. Your core sat on his thighs, his thick muscular, dear fucking god I bet he will be able to fuck like a stud, between those thighs and those abs and - you forced yourself to focus, Ken lying motionless beneath you and staring. The guy never seemed to stop staring.

You breathed in and wrapped both of your hands around his cock, firmly. He moaned loudly, head falling back into the pillows, and you decided it was best to just keep moving because if you asked him if he was okay every time you made a move, this would probably last days…not that it would be a bad thing, but…

You began stroking him up and down, making sure to squeeze a little more at the tip and rub your thumb around it before going back down like he seemed to enjoy earlier. And he was very much enjoying it. He grasped the covers beneath him, eyes squeezed shut, moaning loudly at every sensation. His breathing became so rapid you were *almost* worried he was going to hurt himself.

“Is this good, Ken?” You asked, not stopping your movements.

“Ahhmmm..mmhmm…I..AHH!” He sputtered his words, and you felt even more heat grow in your core, watching this man be absolutely destroyed by your touch. His body shivered deliciously, his muscles flexing every time he tensed.

You leaned over without announcement, taking his tip into your mouth and moving it in rhythm with your hands. The noise he made…dear. Fucking. God. He looked down at you now, his eyes wide, his legs trembling a little.

You smiled, more to yourself than to him, as you pushed as much of him into your mouth as you could handle. Ken made a sobbing noise and gripped your hair tightly in both hands. You knew he didn’t intend to, but he was actually pulling a little too hard, and you discovered it turned you on more. You began sucking him a little faster, taking breaks to suck and lick only his tip, then going back down as far to his base as you could muster.

“I…fuck…Y/n…I can’t -“

You sat up, releasing his member from your lips, but still holding him with one hand. You actually felt concerned. “Are you okay?”

“I need…I can’t…breathe.”

You climbed back up closer to him, hovering over his torso, taking his face in both of your hands. His pupils were fully blown, his hair messy from tossing it back and forth on the pillows, and his entire body was flushed. He looked like he had just been fucked out of his mind. Your fingers on his cheeks seemed to soothe him, and again he reached a hand up to hold one of your hands and cradle it as he leaned into your palm.

“Are you okay, Ken?”

His eyes closed, he hummed an answer that sounded winded but content.

“What do you need?” you asked.

“Mmmmmm. Just you.” He sounded almost drugged, smiling and turning his face to plant kisses into your palm.

“Do you not want me to finish?”

“Finish what?”

Holy shit. He didn’t even know what a climax was. You were dumbfounded for just a moment, not knowing what to say. He helped snap you out of it.

“Why aren’t you undressed, y/a?” The sudden realization dawned on him, and he leaned up onto his elbows, you moving back a little to avoid him literally smashing his face into yours.

“I, uhh…was wanting to focus on your first.”

He cocked his head. “But in the movie -“

“Yes, I know, they were both not wearing clothes.”

“Do you dislike not wearing clothes?”

His desire to discover an answer was - why did everything he was doing right now make you want to fuck him more.

“Oh!” He sat up more, face bright with a new realization, and now you fully straddled his lap as his hands came up to wrap around your waist, almost as if a seatbelt to keep you safe. “Is it because I’m supposed to undress you? Like how you undressed me?”

You didn’t know why you kept losing your words tonight, but now it was fucking happening again.

You were taken off guard as he wrapped his hands around your small nightly, pulling it off in one easy, swift motion. He smiled at your proudly, and you just stared at him in disbelief, until he glanced down and saw your breasts. Then his entire face became entranced. You didn’t realize you were covering yourself with your hands until you spoke.

“Now I KNOW you’ve seen this. These were aalll over that movie.”

“Yes, but those weren’t yours.” He reached up and pulled your arms away easily, gazing at you as if opening a fascinating book for the first time. You held your breath as he held you open for him, his lips parting slightly as if in a trance. He leaned down and took one of your nipples into his mouth without warning, and you caught yourself pulling back from the sudden touch. Ken seemed to sense that you weren’t saying “no” as much as you were saying, “Oh, I wasn’t expecting that,” and he placed both large hands onto your back and he easily pulled you into him again, this time his lips latching tightly onto your nipple.

Now it was your turn to shudder. He sucked gently and hearing your moan, pulled you between his lips a little harder. You exhaled loudly when his tongue swept over it, and he hummed contentedly, continuing his exploration of your nub for awhile longer. You placed your hands on his shoulders, not needing to balance yourself but wanting to touch him as he held you firmly in place with his own hands, pressing harder into your back so you were easier to suck on, to take more of your breast into his mouth. You bucked when he bit down, gently, but still without expectation, and he grunted when your clothed vulva once again pressed against his naked cock.

He pulled away, looking up at you. Now YOU were flushed and heaving and…all over a goddamn nipple? Fuck. What was happening.

You looked at him, suddenly feeling a little self conscious again. “Hi,” you whispered.

He beamed at you in adoration. “I made you feel good, too?”

You exhaled and smiled, laughing a soft, breathy giggle. “Yes, Ken.”

“I’m good at this now?”

You brought your hands up to run your fingers along the back of his neck, and his expression let you know this was another new sensation he hadn’t experienced before. “You are very good at this, Ken.”

He leaned his forehead against yours, sighing, holding you close to him. Honestly, you were thankful for this moment, you needed a breather. You stayed like this until he pulled back, once again looking confused. Your stomach flipped. Oh no, what this time?

“The man went off screen to go down on the woman, too. Like when the woman went offscreen…she was doing what you did to me?”

You realized what was about to happen and blushed so deeply you felt the heat in your cheeks literally burn. “Mmmhmm,” you got out.

He looked down at you, at your panties still covering your core. “Then it’s my turn to do that to you.” He smiled, confident he had given you the correct answer and that you would be proud of him. He reached for the tops of your panties but you stilled his hands, suddenly VERY nervous.

Ken frowned. “What is it? Are you confused like I was earlier?”

Your mind raced. Of course you had had sex before, many times, actually. But suddenly being put in a position to REALLY have to focus on literally every single detail, down to introducing this man to what a woman’s privates looked like, how to touch them, studying every sound and movement you made, and how incredibly vulnerable that made you feel…you were frozen for a moment.

Ken remained silent, contemplating what he was supposed to say. You seemed anxious like he had been earlier, so, you must have been feeling the same worries that he had, he mused. He racked his brain for a moment, then said, “If you don’t like anything, literally anything at all, tell me. I will stop.” He smiled now, obviously proud of himself for remembering what you had told him earlier. You realized he assumed that what must be said every time someone was about to give another oral sex. It must just be the “normal” thing in his mind - and he had zero idea what giving oral to you was going to be like.

You nodded slowly, and looking genuinely concerned, he began moving one hand up and down your back gently, tracing your curves with his fingers. It’s as if he knew he needed to help you relax, and his instinct this time was finally perfect. Your body became less rigid, and he moved the other hand to hold and squeeze your other breast, and you became dizzy and…just…fuck it.

You leaned into him completely, kissing his jawline, his neck, his collarbone, leaving tiny bites here and there, loving the gasps he made and how certain areas that felt particularly good made his grip on you tighten. His chest melted into yours as he kissed you greedily, hungrily, and he ran his tongue along your lips. You moaned and could tell he smiled a little, feeling proud. He knew now that you liked his tongue, a lot.

After awhile longer, he pulled back, looking back down at your panties. “Can I take these off now? Please?”

He fucking said please….

You took a deep breathe, and climbed off of his lap. He whined at the loss of contact as you reached to pull your panties off.

“No!” He started, hand reaching out. “No, that’s my job to do.”

“This isn’t like a formal thing, Ken.”

Confusion. Again.

“Just let me do it,” he pleaded, not seeming to want to understand what you had said, but literally giving you puppy dog eyes as he held the waistband of your panties in both hands now, only waiting for you to give permission. You didn’t think he really understood the concept of consent, but that he just really didn’t want to do anything to upset you.

You laid back in the bed onto your back now, and he watched every moment, the most loving look on his face. You nodded finally, taking your hands away from his, allowing him the access he craved.

He smiled as he pulled the clothing off of you, leaving you completely bare. You worked hard not to force your thighs together, just breathe, just let him see.

He didn’t say anything at first. He was still, as if working to understand, once again, something he had never seen before.

Fuck, fuck, fuck stop feeling self-conscio-

You internal scolding hushed as he gripped both of your thighs again, pulling you open. You held your arm over your mouth, trying to just be silent. You didn’t feel shame per say, but this was all such a mind-fuck and you -

“Fuck, you’re beautiful.” He sighed.

You looked over your arm, and he continued boring his gaze into your core. “So, so beautiful, Y/N.” One of his hands begin grazing up one of your thighs, and once again you worked to control your breathing. His fingertips ever so goddamn gently touched your clit, and you gasped, His barely-there touch was electric. “I’ve never seen anything like this before,” he cooed. “You’re incredible.”

One finger ran down your entire core, slowly, studying every little crease it could find, memorizing you. You let out a small sob yourself, just trying to get through whatever wonderful torture this was.

Ken looked back up at you. “Hey, Y/N?” You were silent, expecting him to be asking another sex question. “Y/n? Please? Will you look at me?”

You did as he asked, his stunning, chiseled body planted firmly in front of you. Oh god, the things running through your mind that could literally happen at any moment if you’d just fucking explain them to him.

“Yes, Ken?” You breathed.

“How do I make you feel good now? I…haven’t seen one…”

You nodded, working through how exactly you wanted to introduce him to this new segment. “Uhm,” you began, deciding maybe it was best if you did the touching, at the least for now.

“So, this area here,” you touched your clit with a finger, pressing on it slightly, chills running through you. Chills that Ken definitely noticed. He looked excited but focused.

“And here,” you went lower, slowly, “is the vagina.” You held your lips open a little so you could show him easier.

“Mmmhmm. Okay.” He encouraged you to go on, letting you know he was paying attention.

You decided you would stop feeling any form of embarrassment from this point forward and just force yourself to enjoy this, not think about it…

“The vagina,” you said, dipping one of your fingers into it, but didn’t continue when you heard him gasp, his eyes wide.

“So I put my fingers on your clit and in your vagina and that makes you feel good?”

“Mmmhmmm,” you replied, slowly taking your finger back out to rub your clit again.

“Okay, yeah, mmhmm I can do that.” He was talking more to himself than to you, and hurriedly moved the hand you were using to touch yourself out of his way, eager to try.

“Wait, Ken!”

He startled at your command. He looked almost incredulous, why would you stop something right when he understood?

“Listen.” You sat up now, holding his hands. “This is…there’s a LOT that goes on from this point forward.”

He nodded, listening, wrapping his hands around yours in a protective way.

“You don’t have to just use fingers.”

He nodded quickly, letting go of your hands. “Yes, I know.”

“Ken, you -“

He shushed you with his lips again, pushing you back onto the bed, his weight fulling pressing into you. You moaned, and you knew at the moment you were wet enough for anything he had to offer. He smiled again. “You took such good care of me. Let me take care of you. I know what you need now.”

He slowly began kissing down your neck, your jawline, your collarbone, mimicking the tiny nips you had given him. You closed your eyes and shivered, trusting him to just discover as he went along for now.

He tenderly kissed your breasts, your navel, your hips, holding them while he loved on you firmly, making sure you knew he wanted you to stay there.

When he got down to your core again, you opened your eyes, watching. His eyes met yours, and he smiled one more time, quiet yet confident. A single digit pressed against your clit, circling it, learning how it moved underneath his touch. You moaned softly, and that was enough for him to lower it down to your opening, holding your lips open with his other hand like you had shown him. You braced for “impact,” but all he did was trace around it, staring at it, then back at you. The almost ghost of a touch was fascinating to experience. You had never felt anyone look at you, touch you with so much love, so much care.

“Does it hurt when I put my finger in?” He asked, still circling the muscle gently.

“Mmm, uh, sometimes. If I’m not wet enough.”

He took a moment to contemplate that answer, then leaned down and placed the most delicate kiss into your folds, his touch and breath making you absolutely melt. You wrapped a hand in his hair and just basked in the moment. “What a good Ken.”

This made him even more confident, and he began kissing your core more, up and down, and honestly it felt so wonderful you didn’t want to tell him to do anything else, until his lips suddenly wrapped around your clit and sucked.

You hips bucked and your cried out, and Ken’s eyes sparkled up at yours with joy of figuring out something that *really* made you feel good, and he began lapping at it with his tongue, in the exact same order he had discovered tasing your nipple.

“Ohhh my god,” you panted, pulling his hair hard, which he seemed to love. “So good, Ken. You’re so good at - AHH! Fuck, god, you are incredible.”

Once you started almost mewling, he moved his lips down to your opening, and slowly traced his tongue around it. You were done. Your body went into alternating spasms of being limp then becoming rigid with every movement. When he stuck his tongue inside you, you basically began to sob. He hummed his approval as he licked you deeply in circles then slowly in and out, holding your legs apart because you had begun squeezing them around his head.

Finally he pulled back a little, licked up over your clit again with firm pressure, and exhaled. “Will it hurt if I put my finger in now?”

You knew you looked like a mess, and felt almost goddess-like in it. “Not at all. Please,” you pulled harder on his hair. “Please, Ken. I need it.”

“You need my finger?” You couldn’t tell if he was egging you on or if he was confirming what it was you wanted.

“Yes, you, your finger, your cock, I don’t care anymore. Please, my good boy, I just *need* it.”

Realization dawned on his face, and you cursed yourself for letting the idea of his cock get into his mind again, because even though now he finally understood what he thought he was doing when he dry humped you, you didn’t want to distract him until he had made you come. You felt insane right now.

“Oohhhhh,” he said, smiling warmly at you. “I understand.”

“MMhmmm,” you quipped, trying to to tug his head back down towards your vulva. “Please, now.”

“Fingers?”

You nodded, and he slowly pushing one of his achingly large digits into you, staring at you, making sure you seemed to feel good. You moaned loudly, opening your legs wider. Ken was hypnotized by you.

“More, please.” It was hard to comprehend the right words to get out, as you began bucking into his hand.

“More?”

“Fingers. Need two. Need you to move.”

“Two more? Or two in -“

“KEN, PLEASE!” You cried in frustration, unable to think you were so overwhelmed with sensation and desire.

Kens focus whipped back to your core, pulling out his single finger than pushing two back into you. Your groan was delicious, as was the heat surrounding his fingers now. The wetness, the warmth, the tightness of the muscle he was penetrating. He watched and felt in awe as he began moving his fingers in and out, trying to mimic the way you had been bucking into him.

“Yes, and, please,” you mewled, “curl? Like this?” You showed him two fingers through glazed eyes, curling them upward. Ken stared, determined to do what you were wanting, and copied with his fingers inside you. He did something perfectly because now your hips moved more into his touch, and he moaned as he watched your writing, moaning, all because he was making you feel good. His assault became a little faster after awhile, a little harder, testing out what limits there were, his eyes never leaving your face, your body, memorizing every movement.

"I need your lips, please," you started, then continued quickly, "fingers are good. Keep doing, ahh!!" he hit the spot really hard unexpectedly, and you felt the most amazing pleasure roll through you. "Keep doing THAT, but use your lips on my -"

Ken understood immediately, much to your surprise, but also much to your gratitude as he began sucking and licking your clit in rhythm with his fingers, and you tightened your grip in his hair.

"Please, please, Ken, don't stop," you pleaded, your climax hurriedly approaching.

Ken wanted to pull back and tell you he wouldn't stop, but decided against it, since he wanted to keep doing this to you for as long as you wanted. Your orgasm hit hard and strong, your back arching off the bed, almost screaming as he didn't let up his movements for a single second, even after your body collapsed back onto the bed and you worked to catch your breath.

"Okay, Ken, thank you - ah! oh no, please really, stop."

He stared up at you but kept going, again confused for whatever reason, wanting to make sure he was making you happy.

"Ken, it hurts now." You said, and he halted immediately. He jerked back, removing his lips and fingers from you as if he had been struck.

"I hurt you??" He looked broken.

"No!! no, no, please. Come here. Lay with me." You smiled at him, inviting him to you, and he gingerly crawled up and lay besides you, wanting to touch you so badly still, but not sure what he had done wrong.

"Mmmmm," you breathed happily into his hair, allowing yourself to relax and enjoy the post-orgasm glow. "Thank you, Ken."

He felt tense. You pulled his arm to wrap around your waist, kissing his lips, and he kissed back, still staring at you, needing an answer.

"You made me feel very, veerryy good, Ken. You got me to orgasm."

"I got you a what?”

"When a person is being pleasured, sometimes their pleasure *peaks,*" you show him using your hand, going upwards like mimicking a rollercoaster. "It feels amazing. Like an explosive amount of feeling good," she said, loving using the term he found to be the best way to describe everything tonight. "And then you get all warm and feel all glowy, and cuddly, and sleepy. Like I am right now."

“And I didn’t hurt you?”

“Oh, that’s more because after I orgasm, I’m really sensitive. So it could hurt if you keep going.”

Ken allowed his head to now relax into the pillow next to you, and he smiled. "I made you feel the best you could feel?"

"MMmmmm," you smiled, kissing the tip of his nose, your hand finding its way back into his hair.

Ken smiled, proud, and like he was going to say he loved you. Thankfully he didn't and instead said, "Did I have one of those?"

You shook your head. "Not yet. It can get kind of intense. You seemed like you needed a break."

"I don't know how it could feel better than what you did," he admitted, wrapping your free hand in one of his, kissing your palm again. He seemed to love doing that.

"It can. We can make that happen, if you like."

He smiled sleepily, even though you were pretty sure he wasn't actually tired but rather just matching your energy. "You said my cock can go into -"

"Yes," you cut him off.

"Is that how I orgasm?"

"That's one way." You snuggled your body fully into his now, your skin-to-skin contact making you more relaxed, and Ken nudged his knee in between yours.

"Can we do that next time? After I make you have an orgasm first?"

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midnightsnyx · 9 months

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girl at home | mat barzal | part 2

pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader summary: you’re eighteen when you find yourself pregnant after Mat leaves for hockey. nearly eight years later, Mat finds out about your daughter and you have to deal with the consequences of not telling him about her.

warnings: mentions of pregnancy, lil bit of angst with a sprinkle of fluff and not edited im sorry lol word count: 2.1k authors note: *screams internally* thank you guys so much for the love on this story so far. I was super hesitant to post it at first but I am glad you guys like it! I'm posting this a little early but updates will be every sunday from now on. This chapter is kinda sad but happy times are on the way <3 thanks for the feedback, and if you like part 2, let me know!

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Sitting across from Mat for the first time in almost eight years, doesn’t go exactly as planned. He’s waiting for you even though you arrive fifteen minutes before the agreed time, hoping to rid yourself of the anxiety you are feeling which means he’s been here even longer. So you wipe your sweaty palms on your jeans and stride over to where he’s waiting and sit on the chair across from him. He’s staring at his phone so his head jerks up when he hears you.

The first words that come out of his mouth are: “are you sure she’s mine?”

Which, okay, that’s a fair question because you did tell everybody and their grandmother who asked that Mat was not the one who knocked you up. Of course, nobody actually believed you but there were a few people from your high school that believed it. Most girls who had always had a crush on Mat, would say that you cheated on him and obviously Nora couldn’t be his child because for some reason, they never actually accepted that you and Mat were a couple.

So yeah, his question is fair and you did know he would ask.

“Yeah, we can do a paternity test if you don’t believe me,” you say quietly. It’s not something you necessarily want to do, because then you’d have to come up with some reason to tell Nora why she needs to go get her cheek swabbed or blood tested. She’s as stubborn as Mat, and you would probably have to hold her down to get whatever the doctors needed unless she agreed.

“No, I believe you.”

His words take a huge weight off your shoulders but also replace it with a new one. You know Mat, he’s the kindest soul and has the biggest heart and he’s going to want to at least properly meet Nora and might ask to be in her life. In the first few years of her life, there wouldn’t have been anything you wanted more in the world. However, you’ve grown now and so has she. Your number one priority has to be what is best for Nora, and turning her life upside by introducing her to Mat is scary. For both you and her.

And Mat? Despite what he might think, he’s nowhere near prepared to jump into being her dad.

“Can I ask you something?” he says, pulling you from your spiraling thoughts.

“Sure,” you say even though you know what he’s going to ask. It’s a question you’re nowhere near ready to answer but you have no choice now.

“Why? Why didn’t you tell me about her?”

He doesn’t sound as angry as you were expecting, maybe thanks to his dad talking to him but there’s underlying hurt. You try to put yourself in his shoes, trying to think if there was anything in the world that would have stopped you from wanting Nora. You know for a fact that if Mat knew, he would have been in her life somehow but you’re not sure if he would have given up the NHL to do it, and that’s exactly why you didn’t tell him.

“I didn’t want to hold you back,” you say softly, watching his facial expression change. He just looked confused before but now he looks sad almost. His eyes close for a moment and when he opens them, you feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach.

“I thought you knew me better than that.”

“I did! I do,” you argue. “If you knew about her, it would have kept you away from everything you worked hard for. Your dream was the NHL, Mat. If I told you about her, it would’ve crushed that dream. We didn’t want to hold you back.”

“Yeah,” he scoffs. “Who’s we? You and my parents? You shouldn’t have made that choice for me, it wasn’t right.”

“This is a child we’re talking about Mat. Were you really ready at eighteen to drop everything and raise one?”

“Were you?”

“No,” you say truthfully. “But I didn’t have a jersey with my name on the back waiting for me.”

He doesn’t say anything and for a moment, it’s silent between the two of you with background chatter from the cafe. You’re sure that he’s just going to get up and storm out but he takes a deep breath and slowly exhales, knotting his fingers together.

“I wish you’d told me,” he mumbles before looking up at you. “I would’ve stayed.”

“I know,” you whisper but you can’t meet his gaze.

. . .

You’re picking Nora up from her day camp a couple of days later when you get a message from Mat asking if he can meet up with you. There’s been no contact since the two of you last met, having left with a short goodbye to pick up Nora. He hadn’t asked to see her and you hadn’t offered so you thought maybe he would leave it but you should’ve known better.

You fire off a sure, see you in twenty, and debate on whether to bring Nora with you or drop her off with your mom. Mat might not even want to see her, but if he’s reaching out to you again it’s probably about her.

“Wanna go meet my friend?” you ask, looking back at her to gauge her reaction. She might just want to go home after all day at camp, but she perks up immediately when you ask.

“The one from the grocery store?” she squeals but narrows her eyes and gives you a suspicious look. “Hey, I thought you said he was a stranger.”

Shoot.

“Well, he was to you,” you try to explain. “I knew him when I was younger.”

“As young as me?”

“As young as you,” you tell her and she grins, nodding her head and shouting an excited yes, so you pull out of the parking-lot and start towards Mat’s parents house. You’re a little nervous to be around his family after dancing around them for so long after Nora was born. Meeting up with Liana wasn’t as hard as you were expecting, but you’re not so sure about his parents. Aside from the occasional awkward greeting, you haven’t properly spoken to them since before Nora and you’re starting to think maybe bringing her will just make things worse but before you can change your mind, you’re parking your car in the driveway.

He’s sitting outside on the porch swing when you step out, and his eyes widen in surprise when Nora climbs out of the car. He definitely wasn’t expecting you to bring her but this could be a good test. If he decides he wants to be part of her life, having all their interactions scheduled wouldn’t be a good start so you decide to just jump in the deep end.

“Hey,” you call out before grabbing Nora’s hand and making your way towards him. He’s already making his way down the pathway and meets you about half way, pulling you into a surprising hug before crouching down to Nora’s level.

“Hey Nora,” he says, smiling gently and offering her his hand to shake just like last time. “Do you remember me?”

She bobs her head once, accepting his hand but tries to hide her face in your leg. Of course now, she’s practicing Stranger Danger, instead of blurting out her full name.

“Mom made dinner, if you guys are hungry?”

Family dinner is just about the last thing you want to do but Nora perks up at the idea of food so you agree, following Mat into the all too familiar home you spent so much time in as a kid. Not much has changed, you realize as you look around the foyer. It feels a bit like coming home but you’re not sure if you were missed.

“Smells good,” you say, trying to make conversation and Mat smiles awkwardly.

“Yeah, mom is making your favorite.”

How she can remember your favorite meal is beyond you, but you’re not about to miss a peace offering and this is certainly one.

“My favorite food is spaghetti,” Nora informs him and you watch Mat nod seriously, taking in anything she says. You try not to look too deep into it because even though he knows she’s biologically his, Nora is still just a cute kid talking a mile a minute about anything and Mat has probably been trained on how to handle excited children.

When the three of you make your way to the living room, with Nora still chatting excitedly, you stop short when you see a picture frame on the wall.

It’s you. Well, it’s you and Mat at graduation. Arms wrapped around each other and Mat kissing your forehead. If you look close enough, you can see past your smile and see the sadness in your eyes. This was before you were pregnant but you were already grieving the loss of Mat. He left for hockey shortly after and your only reminder was the brown haired little girl still talking to Mat.

“Is that you, mama?” Nora asks suddenly, standing on the tips of her toes so she can get a better view. Her nose scrunches up and she looks at the photo, then Mat, and then the photo again.

“Oh,” she says and you sigh.

“Let’s go see Mat’s parents.”

Nadia and Mike are waiting in the kitchen, trying to make it seem like they weren’t listening in on the conversation. Liana is sitting at the table, reading a book casually but you know she was probably listening too.

“This is Mike, Nadia, and Liana,” you tell Nora who lights up at Nadia’s name.

“My middle name is Nadia!” She squeals and you stare at the floor, not wanting to meet any of their eyes. Someone - probably Nadia - inhales sharply and then lets out what sounds like a sob.

“That’s a beautiful name,” Liana says and you look up to see her looking at Nora with a soft smile on her face. Mike has an arm wrapped around Nadia who’s trying, and failing, to hide tears. You’re glad Liana is trying to distract Nora because you’re about two seconds away from crying and Mat must be able to tell because you feel his hand lightly touch your back. His hand lingers for a moment until you take a deep breath and blow it out steadily.

Then his hand is gone and you feel the loss right away.

“Hey, we have a swing outside in the backyard,” Mat tells Nora. “Wanna go check it out while dinner finishes cooking?”

He looks at you for permission so you nod, smiling at Nora when he takes her hand and leads her outside. Liana follows shortly after and then it’s just you, Nadia and Mike. Both their eyes are red rimmed and Nadia only hesitates for a moment before striding over and pulling you into a tight hug.

“Thank you, my girl,” she whispers and all you can manage is a nod because you’ll probably cry now if you try to talk. The two of you just stand there for a couple minutes until Mike chuckles. You pull away, wiping your eyes to see him standing in front of the patio door so you make your way over to see what he’s looking at and almost start crying again.

Mat and Nora are playing what looks like a game of tag, Liana laughing at them while trying to film. It’s exactly the kind of thing you had sometimes allowed yourself to imagine.

“Would you look at that,” Mike says softly.

“He’s a natural,” Nadia agrees. “Always was.”

Then she turns to you with a small smile on her face. “I know the struggles of being a mom. You have to do what’s best for your kids…” she hesitates, gazing outside before looking back at you. “He wants to try, if you’ll give him the chance. We’d all love to get to know Nora.”

You would love nothing more than to have Mat’s family in Nora’s life. For her to get to know her other grandparents but you can’t help but be scared of what could happen if you let Mat into her life. She could get attached only to have him ripped away when he has to go back to New York but you can’t have Nora in Nadia, Mike, and Liana’s life and not Mat’s.

But maybe you owe it to Mat, to give him a chance at having a place in her life after not telling him about her all this time. You were doing what you thought was right - what was right - but if Mat really wants to be part of her life, maybe it’s time.

You look outside and see Nora on Mat’s shoulders with Liana chasing them, before looking back at the woman in front of you and smiling softly.

“I think Nora would love that.”

tag list: @dasiysthings

#hockey imagines #allies writing #nhl fanfiction #hockey fanfiction #nhl imagines #hockey imagine #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fanfiction #mat barzal fluff #mat barzal fic

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faust-the-enjoyer · 4 months

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@gluttonybiscuits asked: Please omg I am STARVING for more dbf!Keegan and I wish I could feed myself but I'm sjfbehfhdhd y'know? 💀💀 Anyway I have the idea of dbf!Keegan with an afab!reader where Keegan didn't know our dad has a kid cuz he wants to keep his work and personal life separate. So Keegan meets reader as an adult. And I like to think when he first sees them, he's like "double smash" but his brain and dick are fighting with each other cuz that's his best friend's kid 😩🖤

Double Smash

Tags: afab!reader, fem!reader, reader is 21+, age gap, guilt, allusions to male masturbation.

Warnings: MDNI.

A/n:....I'm SO SORRY this took like 2 or 3 months.....I was really busy because of school and i wanted to write this but didn't wanna half-ass it😭 but also tumbler made an update where I can't edit saved asks😀 pls to the original asker know that you can request a part 2 to this if you want bc I didn't know how to end it!

- divider by (benkeibear)!

It was just another day on base for the two, he'd always grab some coffee for himself and for your dad when he went into his office, always chatting with him. They've grown to have a close companionship from working together and protecting each other over the years. Your father would always reveal things about himself and only himself, never talking about his family when he's working. Keegan would be the same, always quiet and secretive.

It was during a holiday that you father asked him to come over so he could show him some of his vinyl record collection and have dinner with the family. He was welcomed through the door by your father as you just came down the steps of the stairs. "This is my best buddy, Keegan." your father introduces him to you proudly with a carefree smile, he turns to him, "Keegan, this is my daughter.". his eyes linger on your face as he extends his hand to you to shake it, "Pleasure meeting you.", and as you introduce yourself and shake his hand, you smile as you can't help but notice his pretty blue eyes trail down to your lips.

After a bit of chatting with the two in the living room and hearing your father's endless stories about the two's missions, you get up. "I'll go get dinner ready.", your father excuses himself as he gets off of the couch as well, "I'm going to the bathroom, Keegan, would you mind helping her set the table?", and he didn't even wait for answer, he just left for the bathroom. Keegan lets out a breath as he gets up from the couch, following you to the kitchen.

As he helps you with dinner and the table, he puts dishes in their distinguished spots on the table while looking at you. "You know I...never heard your dad talk about you..." he says calmly, his eyes slowly going over your facial features, he really hopes he didn't understand what he said in a different way. "He doesn't like talking about me when it comes to work, you know, for my safety and what not." He looks away while setting the utensils and cutlery down, "Yeah, I get it.", he looks over at you as you pull a dish out from the oven, his eyes trailing from your gloved hands, to your back, to your hips, to your backside. He could feel his stomach twist and turn whenever he heard your voice, and he couldn't help but let his eyes linger on your body.

He spent the night eating dinner with you two and afterwards your father showed him that vinyl record collection he's been itching to talk about and show off. Your father had kept bringing him back into the house over and over again, to watch the soccer game, to have a drink, to have dinner, to watch a movie, and your father always encouraged you to join, which you gladly agreed to, much to Keegan's delight, prompting you to spend more time with him, and after the holiday was over, they had to go back to base. A new issue arose in Keegan's life; you. As the days went on after not seeing you for a while he couldn't stop thinking about you, the way he'd respond slower when people talked to him on base, and the number of condoms that were thrown in his trash can were all evident of your effect on him, but there was one issue: your father. What would he say to Keegan, his comrade and his best friend of years if he knew he wanted to get with his daughter? What would he do to him? Would he just throw all of those years and memories in the trash? Would he direct his anger at you instead? He didn't know, he couldn't calculate all of the reactions your father might have if he found it, and it made him feel like he was at his wits' end whenever he sat down with him, it made him feel guilty and disgusting.

#faust speaks #cod x reader #cod keegan #keegan p russ #keegan p russ x reader #keegan russ x reader #keegan russ

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britcision · 1 year

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Gonna try and sneakily post after dnd let’s see how fast I can yeet this up 👀 new chapter!!

(I was kinda considering pushing out the porn parody to push me over one million words on AO3, but I have to be in the mood to write good smut, whereas I’m damn near always in the mood for crack, so here we are

The porn parody has been started though, and the first chapter is edging its way to completion. I will be starting an entirely new taglist for the porn parody though, so do say in the comments here if you would like to be tagged in the first chapter of that!)

I got to use a little of my actual real life work knowledge for once in my life, instead of my unending stash of random knowledge 👀 it’s a bold new world and I bet you ANYTHING Bruce never documents his code

Eleven million backup plans for if marshmallows take over the world, but someone else sits to debug the batcomputer? Zip. Nothing. Fuck them if they can’t read Bruce they aren’t authorised to touch it

As may be rather obvious… We’re right up in the bats again this chapter, and Bruce is going to make some Inadvisable Decisions 😈

I’m sure this will have absolutely no consequences whatsoever! This chapter also came in a little short, since there’s not quiiiiite enough space left to squeeze in our next scene, Danny Attempts To Make Jason Kill Him In A Motorcycle Accident

This means we should not brick ANYONES’ tumblr! (Like that’ll happen, my poor mobile using fellows)

Note: there is a reason why I’m choosing when to use our various vigi’s human names while they’re masked, I didn’t miss one on the “edit” that is formatting this mess for Tumblr 😁

First Chapter and AO3 link:

Previous Chapter:

——————

One Fine Day In The Middle Of The Night

About twenty minutes after dropping Danny off at his dorm, Jason was suited up and ready to go.

Well, he’d stayed outside until he’d seen Danny shut the door behind him first. Jason had some fucking manners, though if pressed he couldn’t name who’d taught him them.

It was a habit older than the streets, watching to be sure his friends got to safety.

Danny’s dorm was about fifteen minutes from one of Jason’s better safe houses, as it happened. Jason had never been to a dorm, but from Danny’s stories?

A step below Teen Titans’ bunks, and those had sucked. Less privacy, smaller rooms, and more people? Who weren’t even part of the same team?

Maybe next semester Jason could offer to let Danny move in. He didn’t need need the safe house.

Red Hood could always buy the building. There were other apartments and while they weren’t luxurious, they beat half his other spots. The neighbourhood wasn’t bad either.

It’d be nice to pay Danny back a bit. Not have him closer. Just. Repay some of the debt by giving him a place to stay, rent free.

And maybe, just a little bit, the part of Jason that enjoyed the romanticism of his period novels kinda liked the idea. An estate for the king on your lands was a big deal back then.

A slightly more modern part of him thought being a landlord for his ruler would also be pretty funny. He figured Danny would enjoy that side too.

And it wasn’t like the guy could complain, since he’d literally given Jason back himself. Yeah, Jason was gonna pull that one out if Danny tried any familiar “oh I can’t accept this” on him.

Fixing his core was pretty damn god level on the favours spectrum. Jason could do whatever the hell he liked and Danny would just have to deal with it.

It cheered him up a little more, kept him in a good mood on the ride back to his safe house. It was more time where he couldn’t help Cass, but seriously?

Danny could change in a matter of seconds and be at her side not much slower. Walls, cars, goons, Jason had this feeling that none of it would slow Danny down.

And yeah, knowing that helped, but there was still a piece of him that only unknotted as he slid his helmet on and headed to the window.

“Hey, Black Bat. Busy?” He asked as the comms switched from earpiece to helmet display.

Of course he wore both. People kept trying to steal his damn helmet. That was also what the internal explosives were for.

The others all piped up when they heard him, Harper and Steph calling cheerful greetings around an ongoing conversation.

“Shit, Hood’s in, this mean I can go back to bed?” Bluebird teased. Spoiler cut her off immediately.

“Hell no, it can’t be a school night, Robin’s here! Great timing though Hood, we’re planning Red Robin’s eulogy and you have some experience there,” Spoiler chirped brightly, and Jason hesitated.

Sucked in a breath. He wasn’t gonna judge anyone else’s coping mechanisms until they got past “heads in a bag” levels.

Best to ignore it, since she wasn’t actually trying to set him off.

What the hell had Tim done since they’d left the manor?

Shaking his head, Jason settled into Red Hood and hopped onto the fire escape, scaling easily to the roof.

“Black Bat?” He repeated instead of answering, and half smiled when Spoiler groaned dramatically.

Black Bat answered in the considerate group pause.

“Not busy. Why?” She sounded amused, not even particularly tired, and Jason relaxed enough to slip all the way in.

“Thinking of going a little out of my way tonight. Wondered if you’d mind a tagalong?” Red Hood asked, hoping he sounded casual.

It wasn’t like he’d been planning to patrol the Alley anyway; his guys had already been told to handle it. He’d have to run around tomorrow night to keep the creepers scared, but he could have a couple off.

The tiny pause before her answer didn’t quite feel like judgement, but Jason muted before blowing out the sigh as she did. It wasn’t like the others needed to know he’d been stressing.

“Sure. Meet at library?” She’d had his tracker up. Hood nodded, turning and running for the edge of the roof.

“Sounds good.” And they’d probably wound Spoiler up enough, she’d start plotting vengeance for being ignored soon. “So what the hell did Little Red do?”

“Brought Too Fine to the Bat Cave,” Spoiler told him with relish, not noticeably put out by the delay.

Not necessarily a good sign, since she was also this enthusiastic while actively plotting against him.

Wait.

Too Fine was Tucker’s hacker name.

“But he doesn’t know about us,” Red Hood said with a frown, catching an outcropping and swinging on.

“Oh, now you tell me,” Tim groused while the others snickered, “what a shame you didn’t think to when it’d have actually been helpful!”

News to Hood that he was on, probably still in the cave.

“He knows now,” Nightwing chimed in brightly, probably also travelling from the slight strain in his voice.

Hood paused for a moment, letting that sink in before attempting the next jump.

“Is he on comm?” He asked warily, because if Tim brought Tucker to the bat cave, it was entirely possible that they were all outed.

And that Tucker might tell Danny he was Red Hood.

Shit, he still had to text Harley. Resolving to do it once he hit the library, he set back to running, throwing himself across another street.

Black Bat would probably take a little longer to get there.

“He’ll be back, he’s in the bathroom,” Tim explained with a heavy sigh, shaking his head. “It’s not all bad, he’s given me the full story on what happened in Amity Park. Witness account and all.”

“From a witness you let down to the bat cave~” Spoiler sang sweetly across the air.

Red Hood could hear Oracle rolling her eyes as she cut in.

“Tone it down, Batgirl. Bluebird, if you’re still thinking of heading in, could you swing past one last site on your way?” She said firmly, then lightening her tone for their current guest.

“Batgirl who? I’m Spoiler,” Spoiler grumbled, but didn’t push beyond that. None of them did when Oracle invoked the name she’d had before any of them masked up.

Bluebird snickered at her before answering the question, a hint of exertion suggesting she was on the move too.

“I’m not actually in a rush to go home, O, I got all dressed up so I might as well enjoy one last hurrah.”

Right, because she’d be going back to school probably when Danny did.

Harper had always been a damn good hero in Jason’s books, but she valued her retirement and none of them really wanted to ruin it. Unless, apparently, seven bats just had to stalk Jason’s new friends.

Hood would have apologized, but frankly if she’d said no, some of the others couldn’t have come to the gala to be a pain in his ass.

And then he couldn’t have had so much fun fucking with them.

Fine. One cool fruit basket for the Row household, and some rainbow cupcakes for Cullen. He needed practice on frosting roses anyway.

Although that also reminded him.

“Hey Bluebird, have the others filled you in on Phantom?” He asked, cutting off some more background chatter from Spoiler and Tim.

Nightwing and the girls had had hours by now.

“What, your new boyfriend?” Bluebird asked sweetly, and Hood rolled his eyes.

Probably hit the important shit then.

“Sent you a picture?” He asked instead, decidedly not entertaining that question.

Nightwing and Spoiler snickered. Hood flipped off their general directions, settling himself comfortably on the roof of the library to wait for Black Bat.

There was a short pause, the others now wondering what he was getting at. Good.

“In and out of suit,” Bluebird agreed, curiosity tinging with mild suspicion. Being out of retirement clearly wasn’t good for her.

Hood nodded, pulling out his phone and shooting Harley a quick text. It might be moot now, asking her not to mention Red Hood shit in front of Danny, but he might as well.

He still had to ask if Waylon knew. Might as well ask. And see if Tucker knew when he got back.

“I know you’re outta the game, but keep the light show to a minimum if you see him around, okay?” He asked, scanning quickly over the list Danny’d cleared for public discussion.

He didn’t know if Tucker would have mentioned it, but he might as well. Cause of death was good, but Jason personally would veto “and the effects it may have now”.

Because fuck Bruce and his need for everyone to show him their weaknesses.

Bluebird definitely sounded curious now, and possibly like she was punching someone.

“Oh? He not big on the electricity?” She wondered aloud, and Hood grimaced.

Because if they were both at Gotham U in engineering… there was actually a chance Harper and Danny would run into each other.

Danny was older, but Harper skipped a couple years and he had no idea what year Danny was in. Fuck, they might be in the same classes. He couldn’t believe he’d never thought of that.

“Not exactly. You mighta seen him around actually, he’s an engineer too. But he’s not a fan of the electricity flying around,” he explained, Nightwing making background noises that told Hood he hadn’t put the pieces together either.

Good. At least he wasn’t alone.

Bluebird made an interested hum, and probably a finishing blow considering the satisfaction when she spoke next.

“I thought he looked familiar. But then, he’s total Wayne-bait. Yeah, I can keep the good stuff under wraps if I see him around. Gonna guess he’s had some bad shocks in the line of work?”

Hood hesitated and in exactly the same instant Black Bat landed on the roof. Sam had given them all the warning about talking about a ghost’s death, so he could leave it at that.

But…

The way Danny had looked when he explained about Vlad. Yeah, he’d rather they took this seriously. He didn’t want any of his family to hurt Danny, even by accident.

“It’s how he died. He won’t spontaneously combust or anything, but it’s a bad memory.”

Silence reigned while the others absorbed that particular detail, Black Bat crossing to crouch on the roof beside him. Hood leaned over enough to bump their shoulders together.

He could almost feel concern radiating off her, which was an extra weird experience after literally feeling all of Danny’s emotions half the day.

Guess that was where Cass’s liminality was going. It made sense, kind of; despite her occasional trouble speaking, she was pretty much the clearest communicator in the family.

Having another back up way to make herself heard would only fit.

On a whim, he tried projecting comfort back to her. Black Bat didn’t seem to notice, though whether that meant more on her part or his was the question.

She leaned in and bumped him back, her expression unreadable between the full face mask and the shadows.

“Heard and understood, Hood,” Bluebird agreed after a minute, her tone unusually solemn. Hopefully Dickie would take it to heart too.

The odds of Danny running into Nightwing weren’t great if he stuck to Blüdhaven, but Dick was a nosy bastard and there was always one “emergency” or another.

Better than the odds of running into Bluebird, although Harper would almost definitely look him up at school.

Maybe Jason should warn him.

“Maybe you could build him a faraday suit,” Spoiler mused, and Red Hood snickered.

“Handy, but then we couldn’t contact him,” he reminded her and she groaned loudly.

“Hey, if we’re both techies he’ll probably have his own idea. I’ll look him up out of costume, it’s my turn to say hi,” Bluebird decided, and Hood shot Danny a quick text.

Just a heads up.

A picture of Harper, captioned “beware of sibling. May be looking you up in class”. Black Bat giggled beside him, head cocked to watch the screen.

Harper wasn’t technically one of the Waynes, but if Waylon counted she definitely had to, and it wasn’t like Bruce picked his family. Asshole.

A few minutes later he got a message back from Danny.

‘DannyP: !!!!! I know her! 😳😳🤯 She does the cool nanobots! Half our year is betting if she’s a rogue or a vigi 👀 inside info??’

Which was fair, since just knowing Jason wouldn’t be much of a hint either way.

“He knows you,” Black Bat reported to the others, Bluebird immediately bitching that she’d been ratted out.

Red Hood mostly ignored her, texting Danny back.

‘JTodd: Neither anymore. She was a vigi, but she’s retired and getting her degree. No idea if she’ll come back after.’

“Odds you’ll change sides and go rogue, Bluebird?” He asked into a pause, and very much enjoyed the momentary stumped silence. “Apparently there’s a hefty bet.”

Momentary, because everyone had an opinion on that and had to share it. Everyone except Bluebird herself, who seemed to be thinking it over.

“What’re the odds for rogue?” She asked thoughtfully, immediately defending herself as the group booed. “What! I have student loans!”

“You are my villain arc, Red Hood,” Spoiler declared as solemnly as she could through laughter.

“I’m my own villain arc thank you so much, go find your own,” he refuted with a half grin.

“Ask Phantom,” Black Bat advised Bluebird in the meantime, which was probably fair. They weren’t good at staying on topic.

She then gave Hood another gentle nudge, probably for the same reason. Flicked off her comm for a moment.

“Wanted to talk?” She asked, and yeah, they probably should get back to it.

He gave a shrug, hauling himself up and holding a hand back down to her. Definitely not feeling guilty.

They’d tell her before anything became relevant. It just.

Well.

They were a family of fucking detectives, who could never leave well enough alone, and Jason really didn’t want them questioning his humanity.

Just once, he’d like to know something about himself before anyone else did. To have time to understand and come to terms with what he was before Twenty Questions.

Cass was very good at not asking questions though. And Black Bat turned off her comm first. Tim was distracted, probably with Tucker coming back because he’d been quiet.

No better opportunity was likely to come up.

And really, she deserved the same courtesy. Knowing about herself before the others did.

Maybe she’d have some ideas on how to tell them.

Making up his mind, Hood tapped his comms and hauled Black Bat up with his other hand.

“Hey O, gonna be offline for a minute. Text if you need me or BB, we gotta be radio silent.” There were enough possible reasons for that, he didn’t bother giving one.

Just so long as they knew.

Usually he’d just turn the comm off and swear at her if she turned him back on if he wanted peace and quiet, but… well, it was nice to hear the background chatter.

Nicer when the big Bat himself wasn’t in the field to tell them to focus.

“I always need you, baby!” Nightwing called just before he clicked off, and Red Hood rolled his eyes under the helmet.

Dramatic bitch.

He looked back to Black Bat, wondering where would be the best place for this talk. She was watching him patiently, not moving.

It had been her patrol.

“Is there anywhere on your route we can talk privately?” He asked softly, a little surprised at himself. He’d been the one who wanted to wait.

But that just made it his call who he decided to tell what, and when. And Cass… he trusted Cass.

Besides, it wasn’t like he was liminal. It’d give them something to think until he was ready.

Black Bat regarded him for a moment longer, then nodded and made her way to the edge of the roof.

“Follow.”

The night was wearing on, but Bruce was darkly satisfied that they were finally making progress.

Constantine’s pacing (replacing his smoking; Bruce may not have bothered arguing in the cave, but even Constantine knew better than to light a cigarette in space) had finally slowed.

Something terrible had happened in Amity Park, but even the magician was grudgingly admitting it was probably over. Left permanent scars, but getting no worse.

Unless it was on a cosmic level and would be a slow seeping problem for millennia, but Alfred had Opinions about Bruce concerning himself with issues on that time scale.

There was only so much they could do in the moment.

Another survey of the city was required, and in person since even the League’s best couldn’t take clear pictures of Amity Park.

A fact which didn’t seem to have stopped the Amity Parkers from photographing and sharing pictures of each other, according to his children. Constantine hadn’t actually argued when Bruce compared it to background radiation, so it must be close enough.

He also hadn’t done more than grimace when Bruce asked if he wanted to undertake the survey personally. That was as good as an enthusiastic agreement.

First, though? First they needed to call a meeting of the Justice League, primarily the heroes located in North America.

They had been horribly uninformed of what was going on right under their noses, and if Constantine was right… Amity Park’s problems had begun to spread.

To Gotham.

To his children.

Constantine’s grumbling that it was the miasma of death that hung over the city drawing them in had not inspired confidence, and Bruce resolved to have Zatanna over at her soonest convenience to explain.

Helping Constantine put together a report on Amity Park itself had more than convinced Bruce not to ask Constantine, even if he could have done it today. The man was…

Well. Bruce wasn’t looking forward to having to run him through the JL’s classification system again. Maybe one of his children would want to go and handle the technical side.

All he had to do was finish preparing the presentation, call the League, and he could rest. It would likely take a day or two to put a full meeting together, but he could at least fill Clark and Diana in tonight.

He could sleep in between. Just for a little while.

Right after he showed Constantine how to configure the alerts from Amity Park to direct to the Justice League Dark, not the spam folder. They hadn’t sent one in years, but he was determined not to miss any changes.

That should have been the easiest part of this whole mess. It was just a simple form, with a basic test button to ensure it worked.

Nothing too complicated even for a man who’d decided “no reply needed” meant the same thing as “too dangerous for anyone but JL Dark”.

Fine. It was fine.

Bruce loved making training videos to highlight the most basic functions of a system and ensure that people actually understood what the various controls meant. Wonderful.

It meant that they could work in parallel for a while, Bruce on the presentation for the League, Constantine to fix his mistake. In a blissful silence, even.

It couldn’t last.

“It’s not working, Bats,” the magician declared, pushing back and away from his computer. Probably to pace again.

Bruce closed his eyes, breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth, and made his way across to frown at the monitor.

“Did you save your changes?” He growled, doing his best not to let the irritation show. It was getting harder every time.

Constantine rolled his eyes, definitely not helping, and pointed at the screen.

“See for yerself. Look, JLD Top Priority, like ya said. And then ya hit the top button to save, and the red button to test it, and nothing happens.”

He waited impatiently while Bruce clicked through the buttons, seeing it for himself.

Constantine wasn’t wrong. That was unexpected.

Brows furrowing under his cowl, Bruce checked the deleted requests. Three test messages from “Amity Park”.

“Hn.”

“Someone’s fucked ya system,” Constantine commented dryly, sounding unduly pleased that it wasn’t his fault.

Something other than his haphazard filing had apparently been causing some of their problems. Bruce… just didn’t have the time tonight.

He nodded over to his screen instead, pulling up his wrist computer to send a private message to Tim in the cave. How long could a tour take?

Tim could find what was going wrong long before he’d have the time.

“I’ve compiled most of the presentation on creatures of the Realms. Is there anything important I should add?” He asked gruffly and Constantine sighed dramatically and flounced over.

Bruce firmly ignored Steph’s voice in his ear.

Not because he didn’t agree, whatever a “woobie” was.

He just needed Constantine’s once over to confirm he had all the pertinent information, and then he could call Clark and Diana.

Head home.

Get to bed.

“Looks fine. I should check yer damn revenant some time soon too though.”

Bruce froze, finger just above the send button on that tech request to Tim.

His fucking what.

Black Bat led them easily across the city, along what was probably her normal patrol route. Taking her cue from Red Hood, she didn’t rush, but soon indicated that they turn off into a small alley between two warehouses.

Hell, not even a proper alley. A gap where the buildings hadn’t quite smushed together.

Red Hood recognized the area from Nightwing’s bitching; there’d been a bust here last week, and something had cloaked the whole block from surveillance.

These days, he was almost tempted to check what Danny knew about it. Ghosts fucked with technology in ways none of the bats would find.

Black Bat stopped them half way down the gap, feet braced against one wall and her back to the other, leaving her “sitting” about twenty feet off the ground.

Hood matched her a little further down, grumbling a little at the crush. Almost a foot taller, it wasn’t exactly a comfortable position for him, but he’d held worse.

They were stable, and damn near impossible to observe. This was as good as they’d get.

“So,” he began, and immediately realized he had no fucking clue what to say.

Black Bat’s flat, expressionless mask was not helpful.

Hood wished he could pull his helmet off, just to run his hands through his hair. But they were on patrol.

Black Bat just waited, silent and patient while he wrestled with himself. Finally he decided to just spit it out.

“Danny died, and came back,” he said in a rush, glancing over to her.

Black Bat nodded.

“Like you.”

“Like us,” Hood corrected, groaned, and switched off the voice modulator. Actually, fuck it, he had his domino on.

He pulled the helmet off, balancing it in his lap. He could shove it back on if it came time to go.

Black Bat was beside him now, almost close enough to touch. Close enough to lean in and bump their shoulders together.

“One main difference,” she noted thoughtfully, then tapped her chest, “no skin change.”

Which, yeah, Jason had been hoping to emphasize before any of the family got too far down the right track.

“Right,” he agreed, leaning back to stare blankly into the smog of Gotham above them.

Fuck. How do you even say it? How do you tell someone they’re not fully human anymore?

Someone like Cass, who’d been raised to believe she’d never been human, by force. Just a weapon.

Her hand was in his now, and he couldn’t be sure if he’d reached out or she had. He stared down at their laced fingers instead.

“You know how people get when they spend too long around the pit water,” he began slowly, trying a different path.

Cass had been raised around the League of Assassins. She knew.

And took the change of topic fully in stride, nodding and giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Erratic,” she mused softly, her face tilted to the wall across, “unpredictable, especially if they went in.”

No one was going to say Ra’s Al Ghul was an unstable mess of a man, but no one had to. Still, how controlled he was was impressive, especially after you saw what mere exposure to the fumes did to other people.

Red Hood nodded, sighing softly.

“Danny’s parents kept it in the fridge. He was… exposed long before he died,” he explained quietly.

If he was talking about himself, he’d say “contaminated”. Hell, it was the word Danny used when explaining it to the bats.

Jason just couldn’t use it about Danny. It just wasn’t right.

Black Bat stilled, almost enough to be mistaken for a statue instead of a living being. Was that her liminality too? Or just her training?

Red Hood couldn’t stand it either way, giving her hand a gentle tug.

“He told me… being around it too long can change a person, even if they never get dunked,” he said slowly, trailing off again.

“We got dunked,” Black Bat said quietly, her hand curling more tightly around his. There was no hint of emotion in her voice, and Jason hated it.

Pulled her closer, doing all he could to project comfort-sorry-concerned-love you. Wishing he’d asked Danny to teach him to do that first.

Neither of them had really considered he’d need it, since Danny was so good at reading him. But he needed her to know she wasn’t alone.

Her shoulders hunched suddenly, body tensed to spring until her head snapped round to focus on him.

He could… he could feel surprise from her. Maybe it was working.

He gave a graceless half shrug, grinding his shoulders against filthy bricks.

Tried to project yeah it’s weird for me too, but wasn’t sure how well it came across. Anything beyond pure feelings was a little tricky for him to push, though he could usually work out what Danny was saying.

“We got dunked,” he agreed quietly, resolving instead to wrap her in love-protect-safe-safe-safe, “and sometimes… that changes you even without a flashy transformation.”

It was an awful explanation and he knew it, could practically feel her eyes darting all over his face, his posture, reading things he probably wasn’t aware he was showing.

Then she relaxed all at once, settling in and leaning part of her weight on him as well as the wall. He braced automatically to take it. He wouldn’t let her fall.

“He called it being “liminal”,” he explained softly, working an arm around her shoulders above the wall to coax more of her weight onto him. “I don’t know what it means for you yet, BB. But nothing bad. He was sure it wouldn’t be bad.”

Black Bat made a soft humming sound, obediently shuffling so he could wrap his arm around her. Looking down at their still twined hands.

“Can feel you,” she said softly, hand rising to tap gently against the red bat on his chest. “Big brother.”

It startled a bark of laughter out of him, because… well, yeah. A good way to sum up everything he’d wanted to tell her without words.

Felt a quick rush of satisfaction from Black Bat, and tried to answer it with relief-agree-protect.

“Yeah, that’s the fuckin’ weirdest part,” he agreed dryly, almost felt the rush of her giggle more than he heard it. “Apparently some liminals get this… aura around them. Sharing what they feel. I didn’t know if you would…”

What? If she’d notice? If she’d be able to feel the same things?

Black Bat nodded, head tipping up to meet his gaze once again.

“Robin? Batman?” She asked, and Jason hesitated.

He couldn’t talk to either of them about it. Not yet. Bruce would fucking push, he always did, and wouldn’t stop until he tore the secrets out of him. Damian would just run to Bruce.

But it was a valid question. And they did sort of deserve to know just as much.

For now he took refuge in what he knew, shrugging it off.

“Danny thinks they’re liminal, but… not as far along as we are.”

Not as close to death. Not as close to not being human, although technically they were both legally non-sentient, so that was fun.

“D’you really think either of them have the emotional bandwidth to share?” He tried to joke, covering the moment.

Black Bat just stared at him until he fell silent. Then nodded.

“Should tell them. No rush,” she added almost before Jason could tense, leaning back in and resting her head on his shoulder, “have been for a while, yes?”

Jason paused a moment longer, shook his head, and snickered.

“Cannot believe I ever doubted you’d be able to do the whole “emotional telepathy” thing,” he grumbled good naturedly, and Black Bat glowed with gentle amused.

“Better than you,” she told him archly, sounding for a moment like Steph when she was teasing Tim. Jason gave her a squeeze.

“Don’t I know it. But yeah, it’s not a new thing, and won’t mean anything to anyone unless one of us dies again.” Which he wasn’t going to think about.

Shit, someone said Robin was out tonight.

Nope. Not thinking about it. Robin had been patrolling for years, and as much as he whined about his solo patrol route, he never deviated.

Not after Oracle had highlighted his route on his wrist computer for him and proved she could see every footstep. She wouldn’t necessarily tell Bruce, but she’d always know.

Black Bat nodded, resting against him for a moment longer before sitting up again.

“You want to wait.” It wasn’t a question, but he felt compelled to answer.

Picked up his helmet, turning it over slowly in his hands. But of course she’d understand. She always did.

“I want to know what this means to me before I have B poking and prying into every part of my life,” he said quietly, staring into the eye slits of the helmet.

Black Bat ruffled his hair.

“Can wait,” she agreed gently, switching her position to have a hand and foot on either wall. Ready to move on. “No rush.”

Red Hood pulled his helmet back on and matched her, the pair climbing quickly out of the crack between the warehouses. It almost wasn’t worth saying, but…

“You can tell the others if they ask. I just…”

“Don’t want questions,” Black Bat agreed lightly, flipping up onto the roof. “Can ask Danny when the time comes.”

“Yeah,” Red Hood agreed, crouching beside her. “Mind if I stick with you on patrol tonight?”

He sort of hoped she’d think it was unrelated, but another moment of stillness passed across her as she regarded him.

“Until we die again,” she repeated his own words, and Hood was pretty happy she couldn’t see his face anymore as he grimaced.

Not that it mattered, another shot of amused shooting between them, followed by a much softer appreciated.

At least she wasn’t judging him for being a mother hen.

“Understand.”

Tim and Tucker had made quick work of the interview, and Tim was pretty much running out of questions when the batcomputer pinged with an incoming message.

Tucker gave it a longing look and Tim chuckled softly, wheeling himself over.

“Hang on. Might be one of the others out on patrol,” he explained, right clicking to pull up the monitor that tracked the bats’ various dominos out and about.

Tucker stared up at it politely, diverting his attention from what Tim was doing on the other screen, no matter how curious he was. Showing trust and all that.

It was actually really cool too; he’d not really seen a map of Gotham, and having one superimposed with little glowing lights of the various heroes on patrol was really cool.

It wasn’t really zoomed in enough to tell if Bluebird was actually in a fight, but the little blue dot seemed to be the only one standing still, so Tucker assumed she was.

How cool would that be? Watching just normal human vigilantes fight and take down bad guys?

Although off the top of his head, he could already think of a couple of things to add to the monitoring program. They might already be there, he hadn’t clicked around, but like.

Vitals were all well and good, down in the corner next to each hero’s name and the colour of their dot, but just the heartbeats? That wouldn’t tell you enough.

Tucker preferred brainwaves, because then you could tell if they’d been hit with something or overshadowed.

Although maybe it was because he’d spent his time keeping track of a guy who pretty regularly did not have a heartbeat. And it also gave him more data points for some of his cooler side projects.

Understanding the different brainwave patterns an individual made in different situations was a key part of neural mapping, and adding it to the bat’s routine would get him a ton of data.

And then they could really play Mariokart.

He’d have to ask Tim if they tracked any of that later. Not all the bats wore helmets or cowls that would support the electrodes, apparently. Although if Danny could get his hands on a domino…

Tucker was snapped back to the here and now as Tim pushed back from the batcomputer, a wry grin on his lips.

“Actually, I think this might be something you could help with, Tucker. If you don’t mind a little work on your night off?” He teased, back to Tucker’s complaints about a night of fun and tech.

Like getting to play on the batcomputer did not absolutely count as fun and tech.

Tucker beamed, excitement welling up in him and cracking his knuckles. It’d be pretty cool to assist a human vigilante too. And on a tech problem!

Gotham was fucking great. If Tim really meant it about getting him an internship, Tucker might have to see about switching schools.

MIT was great, but it wasn’t Wayne Enterprises, personal meetings, or personal tech demonstrations with Tim Drake Wayne!

“Sure! What’s going on?” He asked, shuffling over to look at the other screens now that he had permission. Making sure it was obvious he hadn’t been looking.

Resisting temptation had been hard. He deserved credit.

Tim nodded to the screen, and that? That was a message from Batman. Bruce Wayne. Batman.

Tucker scanned the message, eyes widening even as Tim spoke.

“Wanna help debug the Watchtower?” Tim asked, and Tucker clutched at the back of his chair as his heart leapt, swooning just a little.

The Watchtower. The actual Watchtower. In space. Oh he was shoving that in Danny’s face for not telling him he was friends with the Bats!

There was only one real question left.

“Will Oracle be here?” He asked eagerly, looking around the rest of the screen.

A soft chuckle played from a speaker in the bottom corner, and Tucker jumped half a mile as a masked voice spoke.

“You boys have fun with this one, I’ll keep an eye on the city. If you finish early you could walk me through that server of yours?”

Oracle.

The Oracle.

They were real, they talked to him, they wanted to talk about his locked down servers! Tim lunged to catch him as Tucker collapsed, knees giving out under the swell of emotion.

All of his dreams were coming true, all at once.

He’d never been happier.

Danny was having a pretty quiet night in. That didn’t used to be unusual while he was in Gotham; having time to himself was still pretty much a novelty, and he wasn’t exactly a party boy.

Of course, it was a night in with some of his parents’ inventions and recently one or two of his own, so the actual “quiet” part was negotiable.

Quiet enough not to piss off his dorm mates, but luckily most of them were engineers too. They may not always know what he was doing, but they were usually interested.

Tonight, he was alone, most of the floor still being home for the holiday. That had been one of the things he’d looked forward to most about staying behind, but…

Well, after his noisy and action packed few days… he was lonely.

He wished he’d asked Jason to stay. Just because he’d said he was going to bed didn’t mean he had to do anything of the sort.

It was just that Jason had been… tense. He’d not even gotten off the bike when they arrived, just pulling over and chatting for a minute before heading out.

Like he wasn’t fully comfortable going into Danny’s place, which was kinda fair. Unlike Jason’s apartments, Danny’s dorm was a communal space.

Even if most of his dorm mates weren’t home, there was still a chance one of them might turn up. And then Danny would have someone else bugging him about his “boyfriend”.

Nope.

Besides, he’d see Jason again at 11am (he had this horrible feeling Jason might be a morning person), so it wasn’t even all that long. He should probably just go to bed.

He should check his class schedule, actually. Work out what days he’d have free, work out when he and Jason could skip to the Zone for fight club.

Wait.

Would Jason be free.

What the hell did Jason do for a living? He’d have to ask at some point, Danny mused, logging in and taking a screenshot of his class schedule for the new year.

For now, it was probably best just to send Jason the picture so he’d know when Danny was free, and then Jason could work out a good time for them to go and it wouldn’t be Danny’s problem.

Excellent. Sheer genius.

Humming happily to himself, Danny pulled up Jason’s number and sent the picture of his schedule, with the caption:

‘Let me know when ur free for field trips 👊🏻💥👻’

Eyes closing for a moment, Danny let his awareness drift out across the city. It wasn’t something he’d done a lot; Gotham wasn’t his haunt and he didn’t want to step on any toes.

Usually he’d just expand his conscious aura if he was looking for someone, but knowing how much Jason didn’t like it… well, his passive aura covered most of the state, so reaching through the same city couldn’t be all that hard.

Right?

Frostbite could find anyone, anywhere in the Far Frozen with little more than a thought. And was convinced Danny would be able to do that with the entire Zone, some day.

Danny was a little less convinced. Past the background awareness that he was no longer in Amity Park that had taken months to fade, he’d never really paid attention to his passive aura.

It’d be too tempting to feel out the rogues, or at least react to the sudden surges of aggression and danger. But he hadn’t had anyone to protect before, and he knew Jason would feel better knowing Danny could.

That was kinda why Danny hadn’t mentioned how theoretical this particular ability was, although he had no doubt he’d recognize Cass’s energy if she came close to death.

Which meant he should totally recognize it while she was alive, well, and had more energy, right?

He had no idea where she was, which parts of Gotham fell on her patrol route, but that kinda helped. It meant he couldn’t trick himself by focusing on a particular area.

Surprising precisely no one though, he found Jason first. The other halfa almost glowed when Danny was focusing on his energy, a bubbling little ball of yellow and red.

He… was maybe with Cass? Danny’s brows furrowed, nose scrunching as he tried to focus without changing his aura.

He was definitely with one of the liminals. And that quiet little light, almost blue, felt sort of like Cass. When he forced himself not to be distracted by Jason’s brighter glow.

Eyes snapping open, Danny’s concentration broke and he frowned up at the ceiling.

Well, that explained why Jason was in a hurry to get going. He was no expert in Gotham herself yet and had no idea where the two of them were, but if he tried again he could probably work it out.

Did Jason still have a suit? Or did he call Cass in, find something he could do as a civilian to have her help?

Shrugging to himself, Danny dismissed the question and hauled himself up. Might as well get to bed; they’d be back together in the morning and he could always ask.

Tim was scrolling through the code for the alert messaging system itself while Tucker went through the sections that pertained to Amity Park specifically on his PDA when the other boy made a sudden, startled squeak.

Tim considered pretending he hadn’t heard, but there was a chance he’d found the answer. So he glanced over.

“Any luck?” He asked, noting Tucker’s sudden strained expression. Maybe the guy needed the bathroom actually. They’d been down here a while.

Tucker laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“So… uh… what exactly does the bug we’re looking for do?” He asked in a small voice, looking more embarrassed than Tim had ever seen.

Which… was not a proportionate response for that noise. And a question that they both probably should have thought of sooner.

He’d meant to mention it, since they’d have to explain it to the Amity Parkers at some point.

“So… remember how the Justice League never responded to an alert from Amity Park?” Tim asked not a little sheepishly himself.

Tucker nodded, not actually looking any less embarrassed himself either. That was definitely a great sign.

Tim sucked in a deep breath and forged ahead.

“So, it turns out there’s a bug in the Watchtower’s systems, where anything coming in from Amity Park gets marked as spam and funnelled straight into trash. We fixed the marking as spam thing, which I guess was user error, but it’s still-”

“All going to trash,” Tucker finished with a sigh, grimacing and shaking his head, “aaaaand I think I know why. But the timeline doesn’t make sense?”

That… that wasn’t even on the same continent as what Tim’d expected he’d say.

“The timeline?” He asked, brows furrowing, sliding over to peek at Tucker’s screen.

Tucker shook his head again, angling it so that Tim could see… a section of code that shuddered faintly in and out, almost disappearing entirely every few seconds.

That.

That was not a thing that should be happening.

Tim would have loved for it to be a simple screen glitch, but it was only that one small section of code. The lines above and below were fine, and Tucker could move the flickering chunk up and down.

“Yeah, this is your problem,” the Black man sighed, wiggling the section demonstratively, clearly aware of Tim’s shattered hopes.

Heartless man. Genius man.

“You’ve had ghosts in your back end. Probably wouldn’t even show up on an uncontaminated device. Which, by the way…” he trailed off, and Tim shook his head immediately.

“Not tonight. No changes to the batcomputer without Bruce’s say so,” Tim said firmly, since he’d already fucked up once. Might as well limit the damage.

Tucker shrugged and nodded back to the section of code.

“Okay. But this… this was definitely Technus. And that makes no sense? He’s a spirit of technology, we’ve fought him a bunch of times, but if he got into the Watchtower’s code he wouldn’t just… hide,” he tried to explain, adjusting his beret fussily.

It totally wasn’t adorable.

Tim did his best to keep up though, nodding along and thinking back over everything they’d been told about ghosts so far.

“You think we’d have noticed?” He asked, and Tucker snorted.

“He likes making giant robot bodies out of toasters, you’d definitely have noticed him on your space station,” he agreed dryly, then sighed.

Frowned down at the tablet again.

“I mean, Danny could make him do it and behave himself now, but if these changes were active during the whole Pariah Dark thing… I dunno, Technus should have been a way bigger problem. He’s not subtle.”

Tim frowned, thinking about what Tucker had said and then pausing.

“Danny could make him behave now?” He asked and Tucker pulled another face. Like he hadn’t meant to say that.

“Well, yeah, Danny’s miles out of Technus’ league now,” he tried to brush it off with a laugh, “the guy knows he’ll lose any fight so he’s really not a problem anymore. We have hackathons,” he added and Tim really wanted to know more about that.

There was just. Something off about Tucker’s answer. Not the content itself, just the way Tucker clearly wasn’t saying something.

That was a problem for future Tim though. Present Tim had a job to do.

“So can you fix what he did?” He asked the important question, and Tucker made another face.

“Dude… whoever or whatever made Technus do this, will probably notice if we fuck with it,” he said warily, and Tim shrugged.

“Whoever or whatever made Technus do it couldn’t do it themselves. How would they know?” He shot back, and Tucker chewed his lip.

Shook his head.

“Lemme text Danny. He’s the ghost expert, he’ll know how much we should worry about this,” he explained quickly, pulling out his phone and shooting off a short message.

Tim gave him his very best deadpan expression.

“How much we should worry about technology ghosts getting into space and fucking with Justice League HQ. I have the feeling the answer is “a lot”?” He offered sweetly, and Tucker snickered.

“Yeah, well, we’ll see. Might actually be alright, if this is all he touched. And, since you won’t let me juice the big computer, we’d have to scan the whole thing through my PDA. Every line of code,” he added, like Tim wasn’t already dreading it.

Tim sucked in a slow breath, weighing his options.

Touching the batcomputer? Ultimate no-no. But Tim’s personal laptop… it had access to the Watchtower’s systems, and was under Tim’s personal control.

And would let Tim go through the sensitive data himself, which the core code of the Watchtower was full of. The question was, did he trust Tucker not to install anything dangerous?

That question had been answered the second he asked Tucker to help him debug though. Clearly the guy could already put what he wanted, where he wanted, and with their current tech?

None of the bats would ever know. At least if Tim’s computer got the update, he’d have a chance at spotting ecto-infused code.

There were other computers they could use of course, old or unnetworked computers that Bruce would probably insist they start with.

Which wouldn’t be able to access the Watchtower’s servers, and couldn’t hold the whole thing to be able to run a useful check.

The answer really was kinda obvious.

Tim looked to Tucker, who’d been texting away while he thought things through.

“We can’t do the batcomputer, but is there anything you could do for my laptop tonight, or do we have to wait on Danny still?” He asked, deeply regretting that they’d gone to video games instead of the tech upgrade.

At the time he’d been planning on having a burner laptop done though, so it probably wouldn’t have been as useful.

Tucker shrugged cheerfully and slid his phone into his pocket, cracking his knuckles.

“Well, I can’t give you the full infusion to let you open Amity’s encrypted data, but I can write you a little something that should expose Technus’s code even without it,” he offered, and Tim brightened up.

“How long?” He asked eagerly, wondering if Tucker would let him watch. It’d be fair if he didn’t, Tuck had been cool about not looking when Tim played on the batcomputer, but…

Tucker smirked, flicking open a new screen on his PDA.

“How long will it take you to get the laptop down here?” He asked smugly.

Tim booked shit to the elevator.

Private Chat: DannyP & TooFine

2:15am

‘TooFine: Danny when tf did u have Technus hack the JL’

‘DannyP: ……. 👀 u cannot prove i did that 🚫🚫’

‘TooFine: I’m helping Tim debug the Watchtower’

‘TooFine: double fuck u for not telling me about Batman btw’

‘TooFine: someone sent all the Amity alerts to trash’

‘TooFine: if we keep talking about this I might accidentally send something to the group chat 🤨’

‘DannyP: FUCK FINE DONT TELL SAM 🏳️🏳️🏳️’

‘DannyP: after the pd thing’

‘DannyP: cw called’

‘DannyP: they hadnt been reading the messages anyway i just’

‘DannyP: shitty people track the jl y’know? and i didnt want em knowing about us’

‘DannyP: let em all think its a joke and then no one else comes an tries to use our portal to harness the realms and blow up superman or whatever’

‘TooFine: dude u fucking told me to tell them what actually happened??’

‘TooFine: pretty sure anyone tracking the jl will work that out now’

‘DannyP is typing’

‘DannyP: ok so maybe i didnt think that through 😔😔😔’

‘TooFine: no shit. I’m fixing the code in case any new alerts come through but it’s not like they’ll bother to call’

‘DannyP: not like they need to, frighty’s got em covered 🗡️🗡️🎃’

‘TooFine: yeah yeah. I’ll set it to ping u too’

‘DannyP: ur the best tuck 🙇🏻‍♂️🙇🏻‍♂️🙇🏻‍♂️’

‘TooFine: better than u deserve’

Across the city, Red Hood and Black Bat had stopped for smoothies. Patrol was quiet, and word on the street was that Bluebird was mostly to blame.

Nobody wanted to know why she was back and taking no prisoners, so even the docks were almost deserted.

Then again, with Riddler and Waylon snapped back off the streets, Penguin lying low in fear of Harley, and Batwoman making Two Face’s life a personal hell?

Yeah, no wonder the smaller players were lying low.

Hood had pulled his phone out to check in on the Alley in case they’d be more useful there when he noticed a message from Tucker’s private chat app.

It was from Danny.

Danny had sent him his class schedule. Told Jason to let Danny know when he was free. Like class was the only thing that’d stop Danny from wanting to see him.

Jason was so lost in staring at his phone, utterly swamped in the implications, that he didn’t even notice Black Bat finish her smoothie and swap out her empty cup for his.

Danny wanted to see him again.

He’d have to work out a proper schedule of his own.

Bruce was having a Bad Day. An extended bad day, one that was fast approaching 48 hours long.

As if everything with Amity Park wasn’t already bad enough, both in the past and the present, now Constantine believed there was something wrong with Jason.

That his son wasn’t fully human anymore.

Now, Bruce’s best friends weren’t even a quarter human between them, and no matter what everyone seemed to think he was perfectly happy with meta humans.

So long as they kept themselves safe.

Preferably where they wouldn’t be mind controlled, kidnapped, or held hostage every few days. Frankly being a meta was probably stressful enough even in a normal city.

But he’d keep Gotham’s metas as safe as he could, just like Duke.

But Jason… Jason had been born human. Had lived as a human, died as a human, and Constantine seemed so sure he’d come back as something else.

“Revenant” the man had called him. An animated corpse that haunted the living, powered by rage.

Bruce might even have believed it two years ago, when Jason first returned. Jason had been so angry, intent on destroying Tim when the other was just a child.

When Jason was little more than a child.

But… that wasn’t all he was. He was himself, truly Jason Todd in ways Bruce hadn’t wanted to believe. He’d fought his rage and won every day.

Most days.

And being around Amity Park, being around Daniel James Fenton, might be enough to push him back over. To drag Jason closer back to death.

Halfas could act as psychopomps, bringing lost souls safely to the other side.

Jason had only just become himself again. They had only just begun healing the rift between them.

Bruce couldn’t lose him again.

They had to keep him away from Amity Park. It was as simple as that really; something in Jason’s resurrection had gone wrong and they all knew it.

Even Jason himself wouldn’t argue with that. Something about his death clung to him, poisoned him with that violent green rage.

His children’s reports told him that Danny was claiming to help with the pit rage because he had also been exposed. But what if he was just helping the pit?

Even if he didn’t mean to, exposing Jason to that much power that closely tied to death couldn’t be good. Constantine hadn’t exactly said as much, but Bruce could read between the lines.

Death magic was contagious between those who’d been infected. Who’d died and come back.

That wasn’t fun to know. Not with how many of his children, his friends had all died before.

Even he himself had. He’d have to investigate Amity Park personally. Take the risk himself, to keep it from the others.

Tim and Duke could help, but they were both so busy with their own lives. He would have to wait and see.

His meeting with Clark and Diana hadn’t gone well either. They’d both been gratifyingly concerned with what he’d learned and had recognized the threat.

Clark had promised to keep an ear out for Jason, to listen in on his heartbeat and make sure he was okay. Bruce would have been grateful, if Clark hadn’t also told him that Jason’s heart was noticeably slow.

Easy to pick out, even if they hadn’t spent much time together.

Just how close was his boy to dying again?

Diana had advised caution. Wanted to speak to Danny herself, see the hero who had shouldered the burden of this small town. See if he had turned under the pressure.

Pressure that should never have been his. Pressure they should all have shared, protecting the child and the town together.

It would be his fault if Danny had broken. Had given in to whatever in the Infinite Realms had stolen a whole town away.

Bruce knew that with a leaden certainty, felt the weight of it settle in his chest. The same way he knew he was responsible for most of his rogues.

He could see the wisdom in letting Diana talk to the man first. She was wiser than most of the League, and a good judge of character. Even without her lasso, it was hard to lie to her.

But if what Constantine said was true, he didn’t want to tip their hand. Zatanna and Shazam had both agreed to attend tomorrow and give their own opinions.

They could afford to wait one night. Perhaps two, if Danny couldn’t be found tomorrow.

Just about the only thing Bruce wasn’t worried about was Danny running. If he had ill intentions, he wasn’t the sort to give in and disappear so easily.

He’d threatened Bruce to stay out of things between him and Jason. And certainly wasn’t afraid of a fight.

Bruce was also quite sure that he and Diana could take the boy if it came to it, even with the abilities Constantine ascribed to the realms. He would find a way.

But not tonight, he reminded himself firmly as he strode into the zeta tube. Tonight he would go home, update his children, and get some sleep.

Maybe waiting a day or two to speak to Danny directly would help. This concussion had passed frustrating and was beginning to affect his decision making.

Shaking his head to clear it, Bruce hit the button to send him home. Soon he could rest. At least for a little while.

A gentle buzzer went off in the cave and Tim yelped like he’d been stung, clutching at Tucker’s arm in an entirely unmanly way.

“SHIT he’s back hide the candy canes!”

Tucker stared at him wide eyed, but to his credit the other man didn’t hesitate to sweep the pile of different flavoured canes off the desk and into the front of his shirt.

“Where?!” He asked, and Tim hesitated for half an instant.

The zeta tube was down by the cars. Bruce would be up in less than a minute. Spinning Tucker by the shoulders, he shoved him towards the infirmary.

“Get in there! Don’t come out til I say!” He hissed, already hearing the zeta tube’s door whoosh open.

Tucker obediently scurried away, and thank fuck he was quick on the uptake enough to drop his voice below a whisper.

“What?! Tim, what?! Am I not supposed to fucking be here?!” He hissed, and Tim pulled the infirmary door almost shut before darting back to the table.

He’d cleared it with Bruce, had texted about giving their guests a tour, but since it turned out that Tucker hadn’t already been in the know… well, he wanted to prime Bruce with the good news first.

The tube only pinged once though, so Constantine hadn’t come back with him. That was probably good. Bruce would be less cranky.

Tim wasn’t exactly back in his seat by the time Bruce reached the batcomputer, but he was close enough to watch him note the second chair.

Tim didn’t let him ask.

“I have a first hand witness account of what happened in Amity Park.” That was the important thing, right? That they had answers.

Bruce stared at him for a long moment, eyes narrowed and the whiteouts narrowing with them. Tim stared him down, refusing to look away.

He’d fucked up just like, a tiny bit. But he’d gotten results. Better results than anyone else. So was it really a fuck up?

He watched Bruce’s eyes widen as he realized, and was a little surprised when the man’s shoulders slumped. He dropped gracelessly into the swivel chair, elbows propped on the table and his head cradled in his hands.

Tim was growing a little alarmed now, hurrying forward to Bruce’s side. Was he injured? Had something happened?

His hand was just reaching out to touch when Bruce sighed and sat back up.

“Tim. Who did you bring to tour the cave?” He asked in a tired, heavy voice, and Tim’s brows furrowed.

What? He’d said, hadn’t he?

“Tucker Foley?” He said cautiously, wondering if he should call Alfred. Maybe switch out Bruce and Tucker and get the big guy into the infirmary.

Bruce was very still. Tim forged ahead, hoping to get to the good news.

“He was a vigilante back in Amity Park, part of the support team. I have his statement going back to the beginning of the ghost attacks, and he’s already answered most of our questions.”

Leaning past Bruce, he hit a couple of keys and brought up the sound file of Tucker’s interview.

Bruce was still a little slow as he turned to look, but it seemed to hearten him. Which was when Tim realized.

“Wait. Who did you think I was bringing?” He asked, brows furrowing in confusion.

Bruce shot him a sidelong frown, pulling off his cowl.

“Not a stranger,” he growled, though his heart clearly wasn’t in it. He just sounded tired.

Tim carefully patted him on the shoulder, still thoroughly confused.

“What? But I said…” he paused, pulling out his phone and staring at the texts.

Nope. No he didn’t.

Oops.

Groaning, Tim let his head drop.

“Ah fuck, and I thought we were doing so well!” He sighed heavily and Bruce made a grunt that might have been a laugh. “Alfred’s going to be unbearable.”

That shut Bruce right up, as it should, and then Bruce sighed again. They were moving past it then. Probably for the best, since Alfred would lecture them both on the importance of communication later.

At least it wasn’t only Tim’s fault. The only person who wasn’t a stranger or a bat had been Harley, and he wasn’t actually sure if Harley had cave privileges.

Well. She did now. Since that was what Bruce must have thought he was asking.

Then Bruce straightened, eyes determined and steely.

“I have new information from Constantine. The risks of the Infinite Realms.” It definitely heartened him to talk about, skipping straight to the debrief part of the day.

Maybe they could just skip right over the Tim-fucked-up-and-brought-a-stranger-to-the-cave.

“I need you all to keep away from the Amity Parkers until I know more.”

Ah.

No then. Nope, not skipping over it, because Tucker was actively still fucking in the cave. It was for the best that they’d hidden him then.

Tim shook his head firmly, hoping that if he seemed certain that would help.

“That’s not gonna work, Bruce. I couldn’t have fixed our Watchtower problem without Tucker, and we can’t look at any of the Amity Park data without an Amity Park device.” It was the theory they’d been running with, but they’d had it confirmed now.

Never mind that Tucker had already downloaded most of what was publicly available for them. Bruce would always want a primary source anyway.

Tim pretended it didn’t affect him when Bruce’s head jerked, eyes narrowed as he scowled at Tim.

“You let him into the code for the Watchtower?!” He exclaimed in a hiss. Which was interesting, since Tim had kinda figured the bat cave thing would be more personal.

Then again, the Watchtower could compromise more than that.

“Bruce, read the report on Tucker. We literally couldn’t stop him if he wanted to hack in, because his tech runs on levels that slide right past ours. Tech he’s already sharing,” he added sharply, reaching behind him without looking to hook his laptop forwards.

Bruce, mouth already open to argue, quieted at once. Yeah, new toys always helped. Tim nodded to the batcomputer.

“The update’s ready to go live, but I waited because you need to see this. Open the third window,” he nodded over, pulling up the corresponding section of code on the laptop.

Bruce’s expression pinched but he did as requested, clearly not willing to put another step between himself and the answer. A quick glance up to confirm, and Tim nodded to himself.

Fuck, he needed a laser pointer.

“So it all looks good up there, right?” He pushed and Bruce frowned, but nodded, eyes scanning quickly across the screen.

“Is this your update?” He asked but Tim was already shaking his head, pushing his own laptop towards the man.

Bruce’s eyes widened at the glitching sections of code. Tim nodded, satisfied he’d gotten Tim’s point.

“Tucker Foley wrote me a program so that I could access this ghost code. In half an hour. From scratch,” he added for emphasis, and yeah, he could already hear the lecture about “compromised tech”.

He tried to shut that one off too, pointing up at the screens.

“That? That’s apparently the work of a ghost. One called Technus, who likes to possess technology, and now Tucker and I are going through every line of the Watchtower’s code looking for changes.”

Bruce’s lips thinned to a tense line and he gave a short, harsh nod. He very obviously didn’t like it, but the presence of a bigger threat did wonders for calming him down.

Tim patted his laptop.

“We’re waiting on you to upgrade the batcomputer, but we’re gonna need to check every program on that too. Everything, Bruce. These ghosts could have been rewriting everything. And we’d never know if I hadn’t asked Tuck to help me with the Watchtower.”

Honestly, Tim was just hoping none of their rogues had made any ghostly connections. The implications made his head spin, but he stubbornly kept himself on track.

They needed Tucker’s help. Never mind that the ghosts themselves were reportedly allergic to subtlety and would always go big over going home; that was a tendency, not a guarantee.

Hell, if Tim had a say, he’d get Tucker’s upgrades for the ghost code, improved firewalls, and Danny’s ectoplasm into all his own gear by tomorrow.

He wasn’t going to, Bruce’s paranoia being what it was, but he was already uploading Tucker’s program to his suit’s wrist computer. It wasn’t like there’d be any hidden malware.

Tim had watched over his shoulder as Tucker wrote it, direct on the PDA. And watching him work had been… it was just…

He so rarely got to talk to anyone that was actually on his level. Rarer still that they weren’t a direct member of the family.

And Tucker, for all he currently had a tech advantage? He’d invented that advantage himself. All on his own, he was incredible. Maybe even better with some aspects of software than Tim himself.

The things they could do together… even the internship was pretty much a formality at this point. Just get Tuck through college and see if he’d accept a job at WE.

Hell, if he wanted to found his own company Tim would invest. That kind of brilliance deserved everything it needed to grow.

He had to wrench himself back to the present moment, the “introduce new genius to Batman” step still looming large, but honestly? Tim wasn’t worried. Bruce would see the potential.

Here and now Bruce’s gaze had gone distant, and Tim could easily have kept going, but he stayed quiet. Let the man absorb new information, stop and think.

And if he still wanted to make dumbass decisions, well, Tim could argue with him literally all night. They’d all picked up Bruce’s stubbornness too.

It was hard to focus on the screen through the throbbing of his head, the lights too bright even at their lowest setting. He’d checked.

Luckily, it was an issue he’d been dealing with for years, and Bruce pushed it aside with the resigned acceptance of long practice.

He’d pay for it later. That night of sleep was probably going to be a day of sleep at this rate, but he’d get at least six hours. More if Alfred caught him.

For now… Tim felt very strongly about this. Had good reason to, if he was even half right about the scope of the problem, or Tucker’s uses as a solution.

After hearing from one member of the Justice League Dark, Bruce was desperately hoping Tim was right. They sorely needed an ally, one they could trust to guide them through these dangerous waters.

Of course, Fenton and Foley were close. That may skew his judgement, but it could be accounted for. Wasn’t worth more than an ally whose skillset Bruce understood, and could trust.

Tucker Foley was a tech expert, which put him above any occult master in Bruce’s book. Magic had no rules, not that could be relied on, and Bruce wouldn’t touch it if he didn’t have to.

And Tucker’s tech would work with his own.

There’d be a review period of course. He’d have to meet Tucker himself, speak to him a little, get a sense of the man. See how far his opinions would be based in fact, not feeling.

Tim’s vouch was a good first step. As little as Bruce liked that Tim had brought an outsider down to the lab. And then let him use Tim’s computer.

And honestly, it certainly wasn’t Tim’s fault that Bruce hadn’t asked. He’d been lax, not checked properly, and it was that damned concussion slowing him down.

He needed sleep. His thinking was dangerously clouded. But one thing was always true: he trusted Tim’s judgement. Probably more than he trusted his own at the moment.

They could review the situation in the morning, come up with some suitable punishment and protocol to introduce new vigilantes to the cave (which they’d never needed, because other heroes usually came through the League and were already vetted).

A thought struck and Bruce almost smiled. It would be a fitting solution on three separate sides. Maybe the punishment would be easy after all.

“Alright. I’ll need to speak to Foley first. And you will be writing out fresh protocols to address when a new hero but not a league member can be introduced to the cave,” he added, and Tim groaned loudly.

Bruce ignored him. That was just the start of his troubles.

“You will also be responsible for running John Constantine through the full reporting system, and updating the training materials so this doesn’t happen again.” It was a weight off his shoulders, really.

And a fitting punishment, because Tim would definitely think twice before pulling this stunt again. The man himself threw both his hands into the air.

“What?! Bruce! You said you fixed it!” He whined, and Bruce resisted the urge to smile.

“And I fixed Amity Park. But I highly doubt this was his only error, so the two of you will have to review every case he’s reported on before you go back on patrol.”

It was probably several hundred since they’d had the new system alone. Tim groaned like Bruce was sucking the soul from his body.

Bruce levelled him with a stern look.

“I take the secrecy of the cave seriously, Red Robin. This will not happen again.”

“Because I’m gonna die of old age sitting at a desk with Constantine,” Tim grumbled, folding his arms and scowling.

It wasn’t even something he could write a program to fudge for him; every case would need Constantine’s personal input to be sure it was filed correctly.

Bruce was quite pleased with this solution. But he made sure to hide the smile from Tim, who wouldn’t appreciate it right now.

“Tucker Foley may end up working out for us all, but that’s no guarantee a future mistake won’t be fatal. And Tim…” even if it was a formality at this point, he had to ask. “Do you trust him?”

The answer was obvious, this was Tim’s personal laptop, this was the Bat Cave, and as expected Tim nodded immediately, the sulk from his punishment vanishing.

“He’s a good guy. He’s even made a clean set of Amity Park data you can look through until Danny fixes the batcomputer.”

Ah. And there was the problem. With a solution wrapped around it though, so Bruce focused on the cleaned set of data.

If Tucker was anything like Tim, it’d be extensive enough to keep him busy until the Justice League came to a decision.

Until he could speak to Danny. Speak to Jason.

He was so tired.

Bruce nodded, leaning back in his seat.

“Alright. Tucker Foley is exempted, but I need you and the others to stay away from the rest, and particularly Danny Fenton until the League has made a decision.”

It was just a little heart breaking watching Tim’s face fall from hope and happiness straight back into worry.

“But Bruce… he’s helping Jason with the pit, he might need to see him,” he argued, arms folding again.

Bruce shook his head. That was exactly what he was afraid of.

“I know… and I know how Jason feels about following orders. I’ll tell him myself, tonight.” Luckily he was still in the batsuit, if not the cowl.

Raising his wrist to his face, Bruce activated his secondary comm on the group channel. He’d turned both off when his children headed out, fully aware Oracle would override it if they needed him.

He didn’t need to be distracted by the noises of a normal night.

“Everyone, return to the cave before heading in please. There have been developments I need to update you on.” Nothing to worry them, but hopefully interesting enough that Jason would still drop in.

No talk of protocols or anything. No, that was Tim’s future.

Tim, who was looking at him oddly.

“Who told you Jason went out tonight?” He asked, and Bruce frowned. Looked up at the batcomputer, and realized that the tracker screen wasn’t open.

That could be a problem.

“Didn’t he?” He asked, really not looking forward to asking Dick to ask Jason to drop by tonight. If Jason was actually home, actually sleeping…

But Tim shook his head, that odd expression still on his face.

“He never said he would, but he called in after taking Danny home. He’s out with Black Bat,” Tim added, and Bruce frowned.

Why even bring it up if Jason was out? What did it matter?

Tim, clearly seeing and understanding his confusion, groaned and tugged at his hair.

“Bruce. Please, just… listen to me. Danny isn’t the threat here. He’s been nothing but helpful. He’s the one who picked up the ball when the League dropped it, who dealt with all the ghosts we can’t. He saved that town-”

“We don’t know that, Tim,” Bruce cut him off, shaking his head sharply. “We can’t take that risk.”

He could see Tim getting frustrated, temper flaring, and in an odd way, it made him feel better. Calm. In control.

“Bruce, you stubborn… so what? We just tell Jason to keep away from the only person who makes him feel better?” Tim asked sarcastically, and Bruce could see exactly how he’d missed the point.

This was what he’d have to watch for with Tucker Foley. But the technical advantages would be worth it.

“We don’t know that he’s making the pits better,” Bruce said darkly, and fuck it felt good to even voice the thought aloud.

Made it feel real, less like paranoia.

Tim gaped at him, but didn’t argue.

Bruce raised a hand, counting the points off on his fingers.

One.

“None of us heard anything about him a week ago. Not even a few days. Fenton has been here over a year and only just ran into Jason?” It wasn’t possible.

It didn’t make sense. Gotham was a large city, sure, but for two people apparently so closely linked? No.

A second finger rose.

“Danny himself claims that he is helping with the pits.”

“Jason agrees,” Tim cut in, clearly looking to break his train of thought. Bruce silenced him with a stern glare.

“Danny claims he is helping with the pits. Jason claims to have noticed the same thing, but we already know the pits affect his mind. He may not understand what’s being done to him.”

That? That made perfect sense. The pits had driven Jason into those uncontrollable rages, made him do things he’d never have wanted to.

Who was to say they couldn’t have a more subtle influence? More dangerous? More like Ra’s himself.

Even Tim couldn’t argue with that, and Bruce nodded his satisfaction at the boy’s silence, raising a third finger. This… he wasn’t looking forward to this one.

But its weight had been sitting in his chest since the possibility came up, and he didn’t want to hide anything from his boys. They deserved to know the risks.

No matter how much he’d rather protect them from it.

“The little f… Constantine believes there is a chance that even being close to Danny may have dangerous side effects for Jason, purely accidentally.”

Tim’s eyebrow rose at the aborted description, and Bruce was glad he’d clamped down on it. Couldn’t quite meet the boy’s eye as he continued to explain.

“Danny’s connection to… his death,” the words were hard to even speak, another child lost, “is what gives him his power. It’s strong, and may have radiating effects Danny doesn’t even know about.”

Because that was kind of the worst part. There was a chance that Danny truly meant everything he’d said in earnest. That he was Jason’s friend, wanted to protect him.

Wanted to help Jason come back to himself and be free of the pit rage. That they did truly care for each other, and wanted to make each other better.

And none of those good intentions would matter if Danny’s mere presence risked Jason’s soul.

He could see Tim realizing it too, eyes widening and the aggression slumping from his shoulders. But he’d decided to be honest.

Clear, open communication. They could try.

“The way Jason came back… we still don’t know how it happened, or why. But anything half living and half dead can have side effects on the world around them, especially for those who have already died.”

Danny might be here to take Jason away. Back to the dead.

He’d meant to say the words, to lay it bare, but in the end he choked on them. Couldn’t even face the thought.

Tomorrow. After he slept. If they still needed convincing, he’d try again tomorrow. Which did neatly bring them to point number four.

Steeling himself, Bruce shifted his gaze back to Tim, raising his pinky finger.

“And if you are right, if Danny really is helping… it’ll only be for a few days. I meet with the League tomorrow. Zatanna and Shazam will both be there to give their opinions.”

Suddenly Bruce just felt tired. Tired of arguing, trying to make people see things his way. All he wanted was a couple of days. Just to be sure. Just to be safe.

Tim raised an eyebrow again, shifting slowly to lean against the other chair.

“Then why will it be a few days? Why not tomorrow?” He asked cautiously and Bruce chuckled.

Of course Tim knew him well enough to know there would be something else.

“I’d like to talk to him myself first. Perhaps have them meet him directly. Just to be sure what his intentions are in the city.”

“And with Jason,” Tim put in flatly. Bruce just nodded. The boy was right.

“With the city and with Jason,” he agreed, looking back up at the large screens of the batcomputer.

Pulled up the location tracker for his bats and birds, watching their little trails of light run across the city. He wouldn’t let any of those lights wink out.

Tim sighed and shook his head, coming to lean against the back of Bruce’s chair instead. Not quite tall enough to rest his chin on the top of Bruce’s head, and not likely to grow much more at nineteen.

“I still think it’s a bad idea,” he said bluntly, eyes tracking the Red Hood dot in particular. “You’ll only push Jason further away by trying to control who he sees.”

Bruce shook his head, leaning back just a little more into the presence of his son.

“I don’t care if Jason hates me for the rest of his life, so long as it’s a long and healthy one,” he said softly, and Tim snorted.

Pushed away from the chair, and for a moment the distance ached.

“Yeah, well. When it blows up in your face, I told you so. Did you wanna see Tucker tonight or tomorrow?” He asked, and Bruce’s head snapped suddenly around, scanning the cave.

“He’s still here?”

Shaking his head, Tim made his way across the cave to the infirmary, pulling out his phone where Bruce couldn’t see it. He shot off a quick text, not looking down.

‘J. Don’t come back to cave. B has mega bitch face just let him cool down’

Across the city, the message flashed in the corner of Red Hood’s helmet visor. Groaning to himself, Hood kicked a goon’s gun into Gotham bay and waved to Black Bat.

“You good? I gotta send a text.” He called, deeply offending the eight goons still standing, armed with knives and fucking pipes, and tussling with Black Bat.

Which only got worse when she shot him a quick thumbs up, sat on a particularly tall goon’s shoulders before throwing herself back so far the guy toppled, twisting them in the air so she still somehow wound up on top.

Hood nodded, pulling out his phone one handed.

“Hey! You can’t just text! We’re not done!” A goon protested, rushing in at Red Hood.

Who pulled his gun and shot him in both kneecaps, sending him sprawling to the slick planks of the dock.

This was why he always took out their shooters first. Batman could preach hand to hand all he liked, it was way safer when the bad guys had holes in their hands and no guns.

“Anyone else?” Hood asked rhetorically, pointing the last gun on the dock at the remaining goons in turn. In unison, all six focused their attention solely on Black Bat.

Not because they thought they’d win, but well. She didn’t have a fucking gun.

“Yeah, thought so,” Hood grumbled, sending a quick message back to Tim.

Paused to take a picture when Black Bat actually got three heads at once into a leg lock, because that had to be a record.

‘Is it to do with your big fuck up?’ Cuz honestly, what else could B be pissed about?

The answer came back though, fast and weird.

‘As hard as I also find it to believe this, no. Magician’s got him all twisted around about Phantom. Wants to forbid us all from seeing him.’

The phone creaked in Jason’s grip as he read the last words, a low rumbling growl spilling from low in his chest.

The remaining standing goons whipped around and exchanged startled looks.

That. That definitely wasn’t fucking good. No way.

Black Bat took another to floor as they paused, and the last three fled. Didn’t quite make it to the door.

Jason didn’t notice until her hand landed gently on his shoulder, concern radiating off her. His head whipped round, and he was suddenly glad the full helmet covered his face.

Couldn’t see the way he fucking snarled at her.

Black Bat didn’t move, her head cocked to one side as she regarded him.

“Eyes. Glowing,” she told him carefully, reaching up to touch the side of his helmet.

Jason jerked back in shock, but he could already feel the green rushing away. Receding until his vision purely his own again.

He hadn’t even noticed the green haze.

Black Bat inspected him again, then nodded, going on tiptoes to pat him on top of the head.

“What’s wrong?”

Red Hood sucked in a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment to recenter. He’d never felt the rage come on that fast, from nothing to all consuming before he even felt it.

Even thinking of the messages made angry green tides again.

We will not be kept from the King!

And it was talking to him again. Lovely. Why couldn’t that part have been his imagination?

Shaking his head, he focused on Black Bat’s question instead.

“Just B bein’ an asshole again. I’m gonna pass on the cave tonight, tell him I went to bed.” It was about as much as he thought he could talk about it without screaming.

Almost forgot that Black Bat could read him too, her aura still soothing and open to him as she nodded. Rested a hand gently on his shoulder.

“Go now. Rest,” she told him firmly, turning back to the downed and groaning goons.

Red Hood hesitated, looking around the dock. It was getting early, nearly time to turn in anyway, and they were done here. Just a routine drug shipment.

The last lot too dense to be cowed by the mood on the streets, or counting on the hour to mean the bats went to bed. Cuz that went so well for them.

He nodded and moved to help her, flipping the biggest goon over and zip tying his wrists to his elbows, and then his ankles.

“After I help you wrap your presents,” he agreed, heard Black Bat let out a soft huff of laughter.

One of the still conscious goons shot him a glare.

“Y’could at least pretend to take us seriously,” she grumbled, then yelped as one of her fellow goons kicked her in the shins.

Clear message: do not push the crazy bat.

Red Hood snorted.

“I’ll take you seriously when you’ve fuckin’ earned it,” he told her, going for the next biggest body.

Black Bat could take every one of them out of the fight, but bagging and tagging a dead weight was much less fun for her. He could handle that part before turning in.

He had a big day tomorrow.

Private Chat: DannyP & TooFine

4:30am

‘TooFine: dude Tim just shoved me in a closet I don’t think Batman knows I’m here?????’

‘TooFine: dude’

‘TooFine: dude wake tf up I might need emergency evac 🚨🚨’

4:35am

‘TooFine: that fucking Constantine guy’s put a bug in Batman’s ass’

‘TooFine: told u we shoulda hunted him down 😤’

‘TooFine: and after all I did to help!! Ungrateful bat!!’

4:46am

‘TooFine: okay Batman fucking hates u specifically ur screwed 😳’

‘TooFine: I’m good tho 😇’

‘TooFine: I think he likes me now 😏’

‘TooFine: he wants all my sweet tech upgrades’

‘TooFine: they’re gonna let me play on the batcomputer!!! 😳😳😳’

5am

‘TooFine: u are missing vital updates bitch’

‘TooFine: he’s gonna fucking ground Jason from hanging out with u’

‘TooFine: AH SHIT HE KNOWS IM HERE ABORT ABORT ABORT’

8am

‘TooFine: u may have been right going to bed early man this shit sucks’

‘TooFine: didn’t even get to see what happened’

‘TooFine: they sent me to bed like a naughty child! 😤’

‘TooFine: I’m changing all his ring tones to Funky Town’

10:59am

‘DannyP: okay miette’

11:02am

‘HalfBitch: OKAY IM SORRY TUCKER AT LEAST TAKE THE MAGIC MIKE THEME OFF’

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Tag List: @welcometosasakiworld @kyrianclawraith @someonebored0100 @stealingyourbones @starkcravingmad @frostedthroughghost @akikkobara @rainbowbunny0159 @littlefeather345 @violet-catsarelife @serasvictoria02 @wolfjackle @blacksea21090 @secretdestinywerewolf @anime-hipster-the-amazing @undead-essence @skitscratched @blackroserelina @snoodly-boop @trickerdi @mayoota-blog @xysidhe @idkmrpianoman @little-apricot-the-writer @chaoticmistake @the-legal-shipper @bun-fish @aroranorth-west @demon-cat-goes-woof @perfectwastelandcreation @onyxlightdragon @larks-and-katydids @peachesandcreamfemboy @jesus-camp-the-sequel @may-rbi @mothman-the-mothman87 @viyatrix @stargirl1331 @idfk-man10 @thedepressedrobin @skulld3mort-1fan @rootsmudge @ravenshadow17 @cankoking @phantom-dc @mentalcarebear @magic-pincushion @redamancyardor @lyra689 @itsparadoxlacuna @alcorbearson @asphyxia778

#dp x dc #danny fenton dead and loving it #dead on main ship #jason x danny #danny x jason #one fine day in the middle of the night #still no smooches here tho #just bat angst and softness #chapter 13 #unlucky 13 cuz i forget the number exists

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speremint · 11 months

Text

Good Omens S2 Thoughts

OBVIOUSLY spoilers for GO S2 below, so if you've not seen, and don't wanna be spoiled, don't read!

The tl;dr of this long post is that I loved S2, it was a lot of fun, and I love that it focused more on Az and Crowley, but I also think it was a little out of pocket and a little messy in writing.

Anyway I fuckin.. am still processing all of what I watched, and am currently rewatching with a friend, too, but here's my jumbled thoughts on S2 and especially the final episode because I'm having many emotions and I need to get my thoughts out somewhere.

Listen. I would like to clarify that I loved S2 and I loved S1, and I think S2 was VERY smart to parse down on supporting characters and keep it stuck to Crowley and Aziraphale for the most part.

I'm assuming that S2 was made with S3 in mind though, esp after this post from Neil Gaiman, bc lord I will cry if there's no S3.

The focus on the story of Job I am being super optimistic in hoping that maybe it's Gaiman punching us in the throat with S2 before offering us a nicer S3... regardless though, I loved the season despite my minor criticisms.

I... do not have anything against Beelzebub/Gabriel, but holy shit was that out of left field for the ending... I just feel that, despite Gabriel having memory loss (it doesn't seem to be COMPLETE since it was kinda touch and go during scenes), they should've sprinkled in some sort of foreshadowing the his relationship or fondness of Beelzebub.

Have him at least not try to decimate that fuckin fly with books, or take an interest in books on forbidden romance, or rebellion against authority, or maybe just flat out have him be interested in Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, or Nina and Maggie's. Just SOMETHING to set it up a little bit...

EDIT:: while rewatching, I suppose they hinged most of their foreshadowing in Beelzebub's passiveness and interest in Gabriel, but it's a little hard to have a comparison given how little they were in S1

It was only after I skimmed the GO tag that I saw people were pissed about Aziraphale's choice in E6 and I'm kinda just like ??? It's not OOC though... He's always been loyal to Heaven, and the times when he's been questioning, the biggest issue, is that Crowley was an enabler. He kept Aziraphale from REALLY facing the consequences of these decisions because he's acted as a safety net in some of the situations they're put in.

I love the added scenes of the past with Crowley and Aziraphale, they're fuckin great and I like that it continues to expand upon their relationship and "temptations", but I do think it was kinda reiterating stuff we knew from S1... even if it was good fan service, for lack of a better word. I just kinda wish they had sprinkled in more reinforcements of Aziraphale's fealty to heaven. Or, perhaps during the scene when Azira is worried he's going to become a demon, he could take that time to ask Crowley on his feelings on being a demon, and perhaps if he regrets it, just to also set up for the finale desire of Aziraphale in turning Crowley back into an angel.

Regardless though, S3, assuming there is one, will be a big wake up call to Aziraphale when he's left on his own and also under a tighter leash by heaven, especially since Crowley is gone. Also, expanding on Crowley being a high rank when he was an angel made my fuckin night, I still stick to the headcanon that he was the Archangel Raphael, don't @ me

I do think that... some of the stuff that happened in S3 did feel a little like a response to fans as well, since I know Gaiman is on tumblr and Ik the fandom has been really vitriolic over the fact that Az and Crowley didn't kiss or anything in S1... tbh I didn't think it was that big of a deal cause love is shown in many different ways, and I admit I do like that they kissed in S2, but it did also feel uhhh kinda spontaneous.

Not a bad thing, just wasn't expecting it. I did replay the scene bc I'm an angsty bitch. But yeah, I'm like ehhh.

Also Nina and Maggie randomly coming at the end to like.. sit Crowley down and be like "erm youre stupid and in love" felt very weird in a way I can't quite describe, but also felt kinda undeserved. Esp cause Crowley was like "eh I guess". I think the more subtle off handed chat he had with Nina about Aziraphale being his partner was a more elegant way of setting that up, and having him reflect on that instead would've been better. But also tbf he and Azira were being bitches and indeed messing with Maggie and Nina.

I don't like the term of describing content as "fanfic"y because a lot of fanfiction is super well written, but I think S2 was very... fan service-y... rather.

Which tbh I don't mind that much, esp given Gaiman really didn't want an S2 to respect Pratchett's passing as his cowriter. So... meh. I did genuinely dislike the ball scene at the end though. Just... it was really weird, and I'm not sure what they were trying to say with it, other than Aziraphale is fucking demented... and tbh he should've known better since the fucker's been on earth for ages, idk. After talkin with a friend, it just was a really weird scene, and if anything was OOC for him, I think it was that bc his removal of free will, speech, and even actions, was fucking insane.

Also I don't think John Hamm is attractive, so I tbh was just confused for a lot of his scenes that had interactions or alluded to him...

I liked S2, I really did. It was campy, it was a lil sloppy, but it was fun, and it gave a lot more Crowley and Aziraphale being a bitchy little married couple before their fuckin messy ass divorce at the end.

ANYWAY... I really can't wait to see what happens, and I am PRAYING that there'll be an S3. Until then, I will happily sit in my puddle of tears

#this is word vomit im sorry #good omens s2 #good omens s2 spoilers #personal #i prob will draw go again ngl i am cry

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slytherinshua · 1 year

Text

Anti-Romantic

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . .

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ genre and tags: fluff. lee know is portrayed as a tsundere. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ warnings: y/n is a bit insecure and her friends think lee know is weird. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ pairing: tsundere!leeknow x fem!reader. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ wc: 706.

You had always been fine with the fact that Minho wasn’t often outwardly romantic with you. You weren’t particularly romantic either so it never felt like there was something missing or that he didn’t love you. You were both content with the dynamic of your relationship, and hadn’t given much thought about changing it.

But when you told your friends about this, they were at a loss as to how your relationship with him even worked. When you said you didn’t hug or kiss that much, the room was silent. And when you spilled the fact that you two rarely complimented each other either, your friends were left stunned— as if it was unheard of. You had never thought of it as weird, but now you were wondering if you should have. You were aware that you sometimes cared about people’s opinions too much, but all 3 of your friends had agreed profusely about this. They must be right, right?

You were sitting on the opposite side of the couch as Minho, thinking about this. Both of you were busy with work. Minho was on his laptop, writing and reading over lyrics, and you had a book resting open on your lap. Your brain kept going back to your earlier conversation with your friends at brunch.

“Why don’t you try being a little more romantic, just for one evening?” “I agree. You could set up a romantic dinner or snuggle while watching a movie. Isn’t it your anniversary soon anyway?”

All your brain could go to was if you and Minho were somehow doing it “wrong”. Was there a right and wrong way to a relationship? You were contemplating this thought more than you probably needed to, as you didnt even notice your book slip off your lap and land on the floor.

Hearing the small thud of the book against the floor, Minho looked up from his laptop. He leaned over to pick up your book gently from the floor and place it back in your hands.

“You’re thinking about something.” He noted, watching your face that was still scrunched up from your train of thought. Your eyebrows were furrowed and your lip was pouting slightly. Minho thought you looked cute, but he wouldn’t say it out loud.

You hummed in response, debating whether to bring up the topic with him or not. “Minho?”

“Yeah?” His eyes were back onto his computer screen, his fingers typing on the keyboard and making some edits, but you knew you still had his attention.

“Have you ever felt like we don’t do enough?”

He furrowed his eyebrow, “Don’t do enough how?”

“Like as a couple.”

“No?” He shook his head slightly as if pondering over what being a couple entailed in the first place. You two really were very similar. “Do you feel like we don’t do enough?” He finally asked, turning back to you.

“I don’t know. I didn’t before…” You started, “But my friends seem to do so much more in their relationships. And then I started to wonder if we’re supposed to be like that as well.”

“What do they do so differently than us?”

You started to get a bit shy after he asked that, hesitantly continuing by whispering, “You know like… physical affection and… pet names…?”

“Oh…” There was an awkward pause for a second, both of you thinking over how you usually spent time together and if it was considered as normal.

“Would you… like it if I called you pet names or was more touchy?” Minho asked suddenly.

You were silent for a moment, “No… I like you just as you are.” You smiled and turned your head towards him, “We’re still a couple even if we don’t do stereotypical couple things, right? We’re the ones in the relationship, not my friends, after all.”

“You still know I love you even though I don’t say it often, right?”

“I know.” You scooted closer and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “I like our relationship… it’s not over the top.”

Minho nodded in agreement, settling back on the couch. He gave you one short kiss on the lips before going back to his work, leaving you to go back to your book.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ skz taglist: @kangtaehyunzzz,, @yeonjuns-bluehair,, @syrxiee2,, @ddenoudepression,, @justhyunhoer

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delicrieux · 2 years

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Hi lovely was wondering if you could maybe write a stranger things one with Steve. The reader is dustins older sister and is a bit bitchy with Everyone and one night when Steve’s over she upset and he sees what she’s really like and that she is actually human haha ❤️

THE STRANGEST THING | endless drabble series (summer edition)

summary: steve has a thing for dustin’s sister pairing: steve harrington x henderson!reader a/n: i love stranger things. there’s nothing i love more than stranger things. i want 100000 season’s of this series even if it turns into supernatural. i do not care. give me more. also, used prompt 5. warm, breezy nights, with this req mwah ty sm for sending it in <33

masterlist. ☕. reqs are open for the summer prompt list!

part 2.

It’s a miracle. It has to be. Or...or, a tragedy. Something between the two extremes. Because Steve has seen many outlandish things happen at Hawkin’s, but this one takes the fucking cake.

He’s seen you angry. Seen you happy (a few times, maybe, he’s not to sure about that to be honest, he might’ve been hallucinating). Seen you cracking a joke or two at his expense (he wasn’t angry, they were funny, but then again, everything you say is funny and only to him). But he’s never, ever ever in the history of all evers, seen you upset.

It takes him aback. You Henderson’s are tough to crack, and to see you so visibly defeated is just uncanny.

You’re not the easiest to get along with. You’re a bit rude to their rag-tag team of heroes that save the world every other month without a thank you. A bit cold, a bit distant. A bit pretty, too, but Dustin would probably bury him alive if he was to ever speak it out loud.

From your bed, you notice him. Shit. You weren’t meant to notice him. He was supposed to be watching movies with Dustin in the living room, then going to the bathroom and not halting by your door. To be fair, you could’ve kept it closed. Then again, you probably didn’t think he’d be lurking around like some villain ready to spy on unsuspecting high school seniors.

That sounds horrible. He must explain himself immediately, “Just--” He waves his hand around, all smile and charm and perfect hair, “on my way to the bathroom.”

“Does this look like the fucking bathroom to you?” You snap back.

“Right.” He chokes out. Clears his throat. You make him stupidly nervous, “I just, uh,” He just what? The question is written all over your face and he’s already preparing for a lashing, “I was just on my way and...noticed that you seem a bit upset.” He smiles again, anxiously, trying to lessen the blow he’ll surely have to take after such a confession, “I thought it was strange, cuz, you know,” He motions to you, “you’re you.”

There’s a pause. He thinks he’s off the hook when, “The strangest thing is that nobody fucking asked, Harrington.”

Yeah, this isn’t going that well. At least he doesn’t have a thing for you, because that would make all of this worse.

You jump up and make your way to the door ready to shut it in his face but he’s quick to stop you, “Woah! Woah woah woah!” He raises his hands in a pacifying gesture, one that, surprise surprise, seems to work, “I don’t mean any harm, I swear.” Okay, you seem to be listening, so that’s a start, “You’re Dustin’s sister. You know I love that kid.” He admits this a bit quieter, partly because he doesn’t want the said kid to hear and partly because what he says is really fucking true, “And... so...” He shrugs. It should all be already obvious.

That angry spark seems to fizzle from your eyes. Your features soften and your shoulders droop and you look at him unguarded and okay--okay, right, he might have a thing for you after all.

“You can tell me.” He says, gently, afraid to scare you away, “If you want to, that is. I’m not forcing you or anything. Just...just, you know, you can always. Talk to me.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

“I dunno, maybe because I’m a nice person?” That got a smile out of you. Jackpot. A smile suits you better than a frown, but then again, everything looks good on you. He grins, “Okay, well, if you change your mind, I’ll be down the hall. Once I’m done in the bathroom. You should come join us, by the way.”

“I’m not into that nerd stuff.”

“(Name).” He says, wounded, hand covering his heart, “Don’t let poor Dusty hear that.”

“He’s well aware of that already, trust me.” You say with a small smile. There’s a pause of pleasant silence, then, “You should go before you pee your pants.”

“Yeah, I really should.”

And it’s not completely unexpected when you, despite not being into that ‘nerd stuff’, join the two of them on the couch and steal Dustin’s popcorn. You’re quite vocal about not understanding what’s going on. To be fair, Steve doesn’t understand either, but Dustin explains it pretty clearly. The movie is just the three of you talking. Laughing. Exchanging glances that don’t quite have a meaning yet.

Steve thinks that if all summer nights were like this, he wouldn’t mind. Maybe the three of you could go to a drive-in theatre on a balmy night like this. Or the two of you. He’s not about to say it, but if Dustin was to, let’s say, not tag along, it would be better. A whole lot better.

“Dude!” One, singular pop-corn hits his cheek. He blinks. Dustin is glaring at him, “Stop staring at my sister, it’s fucking creepy!”

"I wasn’t staring!”

“Like fuck you weren’t!”

“It’s fine, Dustin,” You say, “maybe he just had an aneurysm.”

“What the hell, (Name)?” He hisses. Dustin laughs.

Yeah, he’s not taking Dustin to the movies. Fat-fucking-chance.

hope you liked it! xx

#stranger things #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve x reader #stranger things x reader #imagine #imagines #request #reader #reader insert #xreader #joe kerry #summer snapshots

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compacflt · 8 months

Note

hey! i was just going through your blog, and i saw a post about ice&carole and mav&goose. i looked a bit more but i couldn't find a post about your take on mav and goose's relationship, so i wanted to ask what it was. if you have answered this, i'm sorry about asking you again. imo i think what they had was wayy deeper than friendship but complex and probably not romantic, but again, i just wanted to know your thoughts on it.

thank you! and this blog has probably been one of the best finds i have ever come across on tumblr, i'll be sad to see you go.

yeah, i was really trying to be suave and subtle and mysterious about it with this parallel

like, you should be able to figure it out for yourself.

but luckily for you i looooove beating dead horses. to a problematic degree.

the full story of my vision of mavgoose (moose?) is in the completed draft of the extras that are coming out on Saturday. about halfway through. But i want to bring it back to the internal craft-of-writing debate i brought up yesterday—my inability to summarize, or to cut superfluous sections that don’t really matter.

I’ll stick it under the cut for spoiler reasons, but i wanna show the simple first draft of this scene versus the complicated, heavier final draft. And I want to ask any of you, if you’re interested—as a reader, which is more impactful? which should i end up publishing?

the simple first draft:

then i kept turning it in my head thinking of different ways to edit it to say something slightly different, to get a little more specific, coming up with things to add, and ended up adding like five extra paragraphs. which is this:

about 1/4 of the final draft (by which i mean, this is about 1/4 of the whole final discussion scene, but the goosemav-specific content only goes on for about another graf [omitted bc spoilers]):

(so to answer your ask explicitly, i actually don’t think they were anything deeper than good friends. imo there’s no evidence that they were anything deeper than good friends, especially with maverick blowing goose/goose’s wishes off soooo many times [‘she’s lost that lovin feelin;’ volleyball; refusing to do the responsible thing at least twice even after goose tells him it puts his & his family’s livelihoods at risk…bro all he does is blow off goose]. see me bitching in the tags for more on this)

obviously in my head the complicated in-depth version ⬆️ is the True version, the version of events that really Happened. i think the writing is in some spots much more compelling. But it just doesn’t make for a particularly good reading experience when it’s surrounded by like 3/4 pages of other discussion of history! sometimes too much of (what i think is) a good thing turns that good thing bad! & this is a major keystone dynamic of my whole series so i just want to get it right, for my own peace of mind. I guess im asking you to be the harsh editor i wish i had sometimes, if ur interested in doing so—this is genuinely a major major problem i have with my writing, i can’t ever just leave well enough alone 😭 please let me know if simpler is better/less is more in this case! do i publish the short vague “the reader fills in the blanks” version or the long boring “here’s EXACTLY how i see it” version?

#crowd sourcing beta readers. let me know.#also.#how many times do i have to say maverick is neither a good person nor a good friend #and the writers of TGM hugely whitewashed and dulled down the original sharpness and thoughtlessness of his character #for the sake of post-50s tom cruise mary-sueifying him #before it sticks?#if it helps you can write out a list of his actions in the original movie.#for instance: > blows off goose to be late to dinner with Charlie anyway #> follows her into the women’s restroom > continues a pattern of dangerous behavior even after #Goose his supposed best friend tells him multiple times it is threatening their jobs #the truck master scene… the locker room scene… the ‘can’t afford to blow this scene’#and then he does it a FOURTH TIME AND KILLS GOOSE HELLO!!!!!#so much for being a good friend like c’mon!!!#if he REALLY respected goose he would have SHOWN HIS RESPECT FOR GOOSE!!!#i am leaving this blog so out come the hot takes!#movies are also woobifying tom cruise lately! how’s that for a hot take #i genuinely felt insulted by TGM’s sexless passionless soft bokeh-light KIND OF half-sex with Penny. that was insulting.#what happened to the savage bitter kid in 1986 top gun? why is he so soft and toothless?#the only time we see him is in the ‘it’s not the plane it’s the pilot’ ‘EXACTLY’ exchange. THATS maverick.#sorry you know me. TGM is not my favorite. i am extremely cynical about it.#i love the IP but the writing choices in the 2nd movie wrt mav especially make me…. 😵‍💫😵‍💫#pete maverick mitchell #nick goose bradshaw #mavgoose #you can ignore me bitching but pls don’t ignore my begging for secondary opinions here

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imtooscaredforthis · 1 year

Text

So Two Murderers Walk Into A Room…

Chapter Three: The Truth Isn’t So Bad

Mentions of: Murder, Homicidal Thoughts, Knives, Homicidal Tendencies, Mental Illness, etc.

A/N: I was super sleepy while editing this so please forgive grammar/spelling errors

Tags: @vandeaad @dead-bxxxtch-walking @moonshineinasippycup @stwbwwychan @mama-miya

He was right. You hate to admit when you’re wrong, but boy were you wrong. You truly are in some sort of fucked up dimension. And that entity thing, you saw it. After you sacrificed all those survivors. It was real.

In some strange way, you felt connected to it. Like it was controlling you. You shouldn’t want to be controlled. You never want to be controlled. But you like how you feel.

You get that familiar blissful feeling whenever you kill, but multiplied by ten. Right now, you feel amazing, the buzz and adrenaline running through your veins. You feel better than you’ve felt in a long time. Honestly, you wouldn’t mind doing this for eternity.

“Boo.” A voice suddenly whispered in your ear, making you shriek and turn on your heel, waving your knife around. A gloved hand caught your wrist, stopping you before you could do any damage.

It was that masked freak from before. He chuckled to himself lowly, and you could feel the smugness emanating from him. “Seems like I caught you red-handed, Sweetheart. You finally ready to confess?”

And just like that, your mood soured. Sweetheart. Who does this condescending prick think he is?

“Don’t call me that.” You hissed poisonously. “And I don’t have to tell you anything.”

“You don’t, but I’m sure I can get it out of you. You do have quite a bit of blood on you after all. Cute. So how many did you get? Two? Three?” He examined the knife in your hand, before releasing your wrist.

“Four, actually.” You corrected him, doing your best to stop your smile as you felt some sadistic pride grow in your chest. What are you doing? Why are you trying to please him?

“Ooooh, four. You got them all?” He asked. “Yeah, not like it was hard or anything. I was a district champion in track in High school, and I did gymnastics in college. So I have some extra skill when it comes to the hunt.”

You can’t help but find yourself getting sucked into this conversation with him. No one’s ever talked to you about murder before. It’s such a taboo subject, and yet, you’re here, talking to this man and treating it so casually. It’s so…freeing.

“See? Isn’t it nice being able to be yourself? Your true self? I knew you’d admit it eventually.” He remarked.

“Okay, you might’ve been right about some things, but not everything. Who are you, anyway?” You asked, realizing he never told you his name.

“Mmm, I go by a lot of things, but most people know me as Ghostface.” He said.

You repeated the name to yourself, before giggling. “You’re so weird.”

“Laugh all you want, but that name terrified anyone who heard it, especially those who read my name in the paper. The stories of what I did kept countless up at night, and I would’ve scared you too.” He stated in an irritated, almost threatening tone.

“Oh really?” You challenged him. “Yep. I’d have you changing your locks and everything. Maybe I’d even get you to move.”

“Well, you’re wrong, Ghostface. Because I’m not a pussy. I’m not scared of anything.” You replied, gesturing at him with your knife in hand, a big grin on your face.

He was oddly quiet for a moment and stood as still as a statue. Still, you could feel his eyes following your movement. Then, he spoke. “I have a feeling you and I are going to be good friends.”

Huh? Just when you thought you got under his skin, when you thought you finally deflated his huge ego, he bounced back immediately. Seems like you can’t push his buttons like he can push yours.

“Now, there’s lots for us to do. I need to show you around to the other realms and have you meet the other killers. That’ll be fun.” He remarked.

“Other killers?” You repeated. “Yeah, you didn’t think it was just us, did you? Now c’mon, let’s go.”

He wrapped an arm around your shoulder, leading you out of the woods.

–

It didn’t take long, just a little more walking before finding the other killers. There were around eleven, all grouped up together, waiting for another trial, you assumed. Many had more monster-like features, but others appeared to be human.

You weren’t afraid, but you were intimidated, and curious. Why did they look the way they did? Did they always look like that? Or did something change them? Do you look like that?

It’s been a while since you looked in a mirror, but you don’t think you do. You hope you don’t. One of the few things you pride yourself on is your looks. You’re beautiful. You know you are.

Not only is it nice to be pretty, but it’s good for sex, and it’s also easier to lure in your prey. That’s how you’ve killed and gotten away with your murders.

“Hey guys, welcome our newbie, _______! Isn’t she just the cutest?” He pushed you against him, before reaching up and squeezing your cheeks. Glaring at him, you smacked his hand away, slipping out of his grip.

Feeling all the attention on you, you glanced at the group, suddenly feeling shy. “Uh, hi.”

It’s strange, being around people and creatures that all now know your secret, even though you’ve spent your whole life hiding it. It’s even weirder knowing that they’re just like you.

Well, not just like you, but they obviously have to have some involvement with killing to be there.

“Well, hello there.” A lilac-haired man purred. He approached you quickly, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. You blinked at him, processing his actions.

Okay, now some guy dressed in what seems like a ringmaster’s outfit is hitting on you. Not that you minded. He was quite good looking after all, with a pretty face, and a toned upper body. Great abs too.

“Oh, where are my manners? I’m-”

“Fuck off, Trickster. She’s mine.” Ghostface interrupted, shoving him away. He said something to him, you weren’t sure what because it was in another language, but whatever it was didn’t sound nice.

You opened your mouth to object to Ghostface’s statement, but the next thing you knew he was ushering you away from the killers. “You’ll get to know them later. Let me show you around.”

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floufli · 1 year

Text

Admit It

Chapter 2 : Consequences (5k)

Summary:

Before the whole "multiverse collapsing" thing, everything was going pretty smoothly for you. As Spider-woman, you saved people, beat up villains and lived an calm and uneventful civilian life. But everything seemed to have changed the moment one boy was bitten by some radioactive spider. Now, the villains you faced have become more active, and always seemed to disappear before you could deliver them to the police. One day, you manage to finally catch the trail of the ones that kept stealing your catches, only to be left to discover another facet of your life waiting for you.

Will this end well for you? You could only hope so. But you are perfectly okay with risking it all, after all, that "Miguel" got one hell of an ass to make up for it.

Tags:

Miguel o'hara x fem!reader, violence, 18+ MINOR NON FRIENDLY SO HOP HOP GET OUT OF HERE, future tags

Chap: (1)

MasterList

Don't copy to another site or I'm gonna be big mad >:C and don't feed to AI obviously

Author notes:

Doing this instead of doing exam stuff related. Tried do to 3k didn't work now take this 5k and the smutty bit . I wanted to put Miguel's POV but it would have been 7 or 8k so it'll be for next chap.

I'll probably edit it later bc there're parts I find weirdly written but anyways-

Why did I do that already? Ah! Yeah! I remember, to " not miss all the fun". Silly me... HOW IS THAT FUNNY???

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT !!" You screamed at the top of your lungs as you almost immediately regretted going through that damned portal. One second you were walking onto a nice- beautiful even, concrete floor, and the next you got yourself propelled into a way too colorful void that made your eyes hurt.

Why does everything they have must be so bright? Does it not make their head hurt, like, please??

But right as of now, you thought the colorfulness of this new environment to be one of your less important problems. At least for now.

You were more concerned as to where you were actually heading, a slight panic running through your body as you realized you had no control whatsoever over your direction or speed. You didn't mind not knowing where you were going to land, no problem, but you would prefer not to crash into a building- or even better the ground, at 100km/h.

Quickly asserting the situation, you tried to take as much information as you could. Looking around yourself, you could observe ass you traveled into what could be a sort of invisible tunnel, if an invisible tube could be called a tunnel, it kind of defeats the whole purpose of the tunnel but anyway. Although you could see some kind of geometrical forms that set the global shape of the way, like guides that allowed the tunnel to go the right way.

The feeling almost made you sick. Sure swinging around was something you now excelled in, but being moved around so much that you lost sense of up and down was now something you dread to experience again.

That's something I'll never get used to. You thought as your eyes tried to find something to anchor yourself before you could throw up your last meal.

Thanks to whoever designed this thing, the experience was quite short, even if quite extreme. In only mere seconds after your entry into the portal, you were back in the real world. And not this weird in-between dimension that threw your senses off.

As much as you were thrilled for the experience to be over, your eyes stung at the bright lighting at the end of the way. But you got no time to rest and recover properly your vision. The moment your body went through the blinding light, gravity suddenly seemed to reappear, pushing you down toward the ground. Acting by instinct at this point, you let your body react by itself as it reoriented itself so you would land carefully on your two feet, and not head first.

" Ah.." You sighed, appreciating the comforting weight of gravity. You raise to your full height, arms by your side, you let your eyes take as many details around you as they could, while your ears tried to assert if there were any threats nearby.

That's a pretty big elevator.

Your eyes were amazed by the sight you were met with. By just looking from side to side, you could see the breathtaking, future-like sight behind the thick protection glass. Incredible buildings stretched so far up into the deep blue sky that you almost could believe your own eyes. How was it even possible? That must be some kind of dimension that's set well into the future for it to be so technologically advanced.

The scenery was pure beauty, roads were spreading around each building like a gigantic snake, embracing each gap and swirling in the place. And unlike your world, those were set up in the sky, allowing an astonishing field of green to surround the whole city.

OH.MY. ARE THOSE FLYING CARS?!

It was still hard to tell from this distance, and knowing that the elevator was actually moving upwards, but you could swear those cars looked weird as fuck.

…Wait, they definitely were flying...there wasn't any road for them to be on ??!

Too caught up in your own excitement, you didn't notice the three people waiting with you while the elevator moved. Running towards one of the glass windows you almost pressed your face against it to better examine this completely new view. But you quickly dismissed the idea once you saw that the elevator was in fact just a platform and putting your face against the window would result in your face being squished down along the elevator's movement.

Wait that's weird... why is everything upside down?

It took you a good minute to realize that your entire vision was in fact upside-down and that your body was in fact dangling into the void, only kept from falling by your talons. Despite the fact that the spikes on your feet were considerably huge, it seems like you didn't notice them piercing into the platform's ground.

Thanks, weird spider instincts. You thought amused, it would have been quite embarrassing if you had landed just for you to fall down because you couldn't spot that the gravity was inverted.

Parting from the glass, you looked behind you. Three different pairs of eyes met your own. You almost let a laugh escape your lips when you saw the scene, stopping yourself last second, but unable to help the smile on your lips.

While the two other Spiderwomen- you guessed you could call them like that for now, were standing perfectly straight on their feet despite the gravity trying to pull them down, Vulture was dangling weirdly, only hold back by the firm grip of the youngest Spider. Seeing something falling upwards wasn't really common in your job, as you almost never let yourself be put in a taught enough situation that would force you to be left head down.

Vulture wasn't as pleased as you were on another note. His face was one of pure worry as he frequently stared at the girl holding his restrained body and then the abysmal void separating him from the bottom of the building. You could almost catch beads of sweat sliding profusely from his now pale face.

"Enjoying the view?" The woman asked with a smile of her own, all the while she was playing with something on her watch-like device. From her relaxed brows, everything was going as usual for her. This told you a lot about the situation as a whole; if they were really who they pretended to be, fellow Spider-Men from; different universes, then they could be many more than just these two and the “Miguel” from before.

“Yeah, flying cars are not really a thing at home. This view is really something to behold.” You stated breathily, even if you didn’t know them- not even their names you realized, you could let your guard down, you could feel it.

It had been so long since you felt this safe.

Not having to worry about enemies coming to stab you in the back, always looking out for people's betrayals, it really was refreshing to say the very least. A much-needed break indeed.

“Miguel’s dimension is surely more advanced than most of ours, that’s for sure!” The woman laughed as if amused by your almost pure reaction to the scenery. Just as she finished doing whatever she was doing with her watch, the elevator started to slow down, and you walked up to where they were currently standing- waiting to arrive at your destination.

But just as you were about to stand before them a sudden vague of pain came through you. The feeling, despite short-lived, left you breathless, contorting in pain, you lost your balance and almost fell to your knees. But weirdly you didn’t.

It was as if you were shredded into pieces, and while you tried to scream, you could hear the bugged sounds that came out of your mouth. You really felt like a scratched disc that kept coming back to one scene over and over.

Thankfully, it went away as quickly as it came. You were now crouched down just next to the older woman, who had lowered herself in the meantime you were out. Now extending her arms, presenting you with a sort of elastic bracelet.

“Shit! I’m so sorry girl, that completely slipped out of my mind. There put this one on, it will stop you from doing that again, I know it’s not the best feeling.” She said to you, expression full of remorse while you quickly put on the thing.

“ That’s for sure..” You breathed, “Shit, that fucking hurt ugh-” You straightened yourself while she stayed near in case you needed help, but in mere seconds you were back to full form.

“Yeah, I know. Sorry again, a lot of things to do at the same time and you weren’t on today’s agenda.” Just as she finished her sentence, the elevator came to a stop, it’s lack of a door allowing you to fully take in the view in front of you.

“But don’t worry, Lyla will give you a real Goober since Miguel asked her to, you should have it soon enough.”

You didn’t pay as much attention as you probably should have to her words, too focused on observing the impossible scene.

There were so many Spider-Men and Spider-Women everywhere.

But you didn’t get the chance to admire them more, the two women and their package were already well ahead of you, still in the elevator.

Oops, wait for meeee!!

You quickly took off towards them, but still, let ourself look around the bright alleys. They were covering almost every centimeter available, from the floor up to the ceiling, thanks to the Spider capacities they surely possessed too.

You jogged behind the two women, avoiding the Spiders that came in your way while saluting the ones that acknowledged you.

“Jessica, do you bring us a new one? Does Miguel knows about that one?” A voice came from your right, a Spider-Man, his suit a deep red and light blue. He seemed to have been talking with others, but your presence must have caught his attention.

How does he even know I’m new here? WE ALL LOOK THE SAME. HOW?

“YES AND YES PETER.” The woman, Jessica, answered without missing a beat, walking unfalteringly toward a gate a bit farther into the ‘main’ way.

The other spider let go almost immediately after her answer, going back to his previous discussion.

“Don’t worry, they are all pretty chill when you get to know them.” The young girl spoke while you continued to look around, catching your attention.

“Yeah, since we’re all Spiders from different dimensions I figured we must be the nice guys I guess. I shouldn’t be too worried about them trying something.” You nodded, and the youngster laughed softly at your response.

“I could even present you some, I’m sure you could get along just fine with Hobby.” She continued as you all entered a darker zone of the building, the atmosphere changing immediately. It even smelled different from the main hall.

The scent is different here but it feels off. Like there’s something behind it? You took a long inspiration. It’s not strong but I can definitely smell something.

It smells pretty good too. Like a subtle mix of pine and oak, just strong enough to pick on but not too overwhelming either.

Hell, it smells divine.

As if in a trance, you followed while they approached different cells-like containers, each filled with what you could recognize as a villain from your own dimension, except slightly different.

Jessica stopped before what looked like an inactivated cell, pushing some sort of code into a nearby panel while the girl approached and put down the Vulture right in the middle of the device that served as the cell’s base.

The moment he left her arms the cel activated, a bright purple hue commit to completely encapsulated him, leaving him unable to leave.

“ They wait here before we send them back to their own dimensions,” The girl said as she pulled down her mask, before pointing toward another room, behind some control panels. “ We got a supper-and-absolutely-not-scary giant spider robot that scans their DNA before sending them back. Super effective.”

“Totally humane and professional.” You completed as you began to see white appendages leaving a hole you didn’t notice in the ceiling, red yes soon following as the gigantic thing came out to work on the prisoner that was just scanned.

Yep! Not scary! Not scary at all!

Quickly, you turned around before you could witness anything more this spider thing was about to do, and chose to follow the two women, staying closer to the girl that seemed more eager to talk.

“I’m Gwen between, I’ve not been here for much longer than you don’t worry, only a month or so. So I know what it feels like at first.” She tried to reassure you, that was easy to tell. But you weren’t stressed, or at least not as much as you think you should have been.

It’s weird. Since I smelt the scent I feel almost at ease.

But there’s more to it, I can feel my entire body heating up.

…Don’t tell me they got some strange laboratory things going on in there and I’m the only one affected… That would be so embarrassing.

You could feel your face heating as you walked. You chatted calmly with the Girl after introducing yourself, and she seemed eager to talk to someone, but inside, you were screaming. It was beginning to be difficult to breathe with your mask, the scent becoming stronger and stronger as you approached a somber room with a sort of platform attached to a metallic arm that stretched into the darkness.

It’s dark enough here, I should be able to pull it off without dying from a headache.

Mimicking the actions of the girl, Gwen, from moments prior, you raised your hand to pull your mask off swiftly, a sigh of pure satisfaction leaving you as the cold air of the room hit your burning face.

I hope I'm not too red or I'll need to make something up.

Thankfully no one seemed to notice your very much cherry-colored face, possibly due to the low lighting of the room to begin with.

Get your hormones in check for fuck's sake.

"Everything's alright here?" Jessica asked as she could tell something was visibly bugging you from the frown on your face.

"Yeah, Yeah everything's good. Just trying to take in all the new info you know?" You answered quickly, but not without missing the curious face Gwen threw your way.

Your eyes went back to Jessica, she was next to the control panel now, and just as she had been doing all the way here, she taped some code on the display. But this time, a holographic figure appeared just next to her.

"Hey, Lyla!" The girl next to you greeted cheerfully the hologram. Wait, THEY HAVE ADVANCED AI TOO?

"Hi Gwen, what's up? Still, sticking with poor old Jess? Miggy still hasn't let you go alone on a mission?" The yellowish woman asked, her form teleporting just next to the girl in question.

"You already know the answer to that Lyla-" Gwen answered, defeated, "I'm ready, at this point I'm just waiting for SOMEONE to tell him that I'm ready too."

The glare she threw at Jessica couldn't be missed, even if you tried, her eyes full of expectations but only met with blank ones.

"Hey it's not my job to babysit, I will have plenty of work when this one will be there," She said while pressing her hand on her belly," If you're sooo ready just go and tell him you are. That shouldn't be difficult for someone as good as you." She finished, a wicked smile playing on her features, obviously teasing the girl.

The two continued their own playful arguing, you could only stand by and watch, at least until the AI- Lyla apparently finally noticed you.

"OH! YOU'RE THE NEWBY MIGGUEL SAID TO MAKE THE GIZMO FOR!" The hologram appeared right in your face, causing you to jump in surprise. She looked like a twenty-something years old woman, a short brunette, and she smiled at you friendly.

"Yeah, I guess that's me..." Everything was starting to become a bit too much for you, having enhanced senses had its pros and cons, and being easily overwhelmed was one of them, and the strange but pleasant scent that invaded your mind didn't help your body to calm down.

"Good, I'm sure you got your own Spidey things to do so we're gonna be brief." She said happily, moving around with way too much energy for such a little thing. "Take that first, it's way better than the daily pass you have right there."

A bracelet similar to the one you saw on the two women materialized in front of you, and you quickly reached out to catch it, not wanting it to break.

Pulling off the elastic bracelet from your right arm, you rapidly replaced it with its metallic counterpart. Up close, you could see the amount of detail and work that went into the item's conception, from the small display to the multiple buttons there and there.

"We'll teach you how to you it don't worry, it's not that hard when you know what to do." Lyla declared confidently, from her proud expression, she must have been the one designing the item.

"But first-" Jessica turned from Lyla to face you.

"-First we'll explain to you everything that has happened." Lyla cut off, earning an angry look from Jessica.

Finally. You thought. it's not like I came here for that in the first place but kinda.

Suddenly the whole room became pitch black, and a beam of white light rose from the middle of it, urging you to come closer. The beam began to take the form of a tree, and from there you could only listen as both Jessica and Lyla explained to you the story of this organization.

"These webs linked us all together," Jessica started, "And one year ago, a gap was left in it, allowing people from one dimension to enter another, those we call anomalies."

"And if we don't do anything, all the worlds could be destroyed."

Waving goodbye to your new colleagues, you stepped into the portal after making sure it was set to your dimension. The trip wasn't as bad as the first, since you were now expecting the whole floating part, but still, it will definitely need to be improved.

When you landed, you were surprised to see yourself in your flat, in the middle of your living room. Almost falling to your knees in relief for the day to FINALLY be over, you caught yourself last second, instead falling face-first into your sofa.

Your body was aching everywhere and you could already feel the headache in your temple, the distinct throbbing enough to let a painful whimper escape your lips.

Need to shower and put this off.

After inhaling heavily, to prepare yourself mentally for the pain to come, you finally rose to your two feet and headed to the bathroom. You took your sweet time undressing, delaying as much as you could the moment the cold air of the room would touch your sensitive skin.

Your flat was modest, and so was your bathroom, you didn't have a very big salary at your local job, and doing Spider-Woman exploit didn't pay shit. Free work all along and still some people got the nerve to hold it to you when you made the slightest mistake.

'Go on take the work' You had wanted to yell more than once. But deep down you knew no one would take your place if it meant going through what you did to have this kind of powers.

As you managed to get most of your suit off, you couldn't but notice the smell that came from off of it. The same as the one in that place in the HQ building. Miguel's 'office' would you had learned it to be. The memory of the man's face still vivid in your mind.

Poor guy, he really lost everything he had. And I can't imagine the amount of guilt he has accumulated over time from that.

And still despite your kind words you couldn't help your body's reaction the moment your eyes met the sculpted body of your new boss. At this moment you thanked every god and goddess you knew the name of to have made this room so dark. If you think you were feeling kind of hot before, then now you were burning from the inside out, everything felt ten times as what you were used to. Sounds, images, odors, everything was multiplied and allowed you to sense almost everything that was going on inside and outside the room.

But it was useless, as your eyes only seemed to see interest in this Miguel's divine complexion.

And damn if your suit didn't make your body heat up once more. Chills ran through your entire body, your talons and fangs starting to stretch despite the fact you didn't want them to. You desperately tried to control yourself, tried to let go of the fabric in your hands, but it seems your body wasn't cooperating. Instead, your hand rose the piece of fabric to your face, allowing you to smell the full fragrance still enclosed in its fibers.

"Shit-" You hissed, as one of your hands grabbed the edge of the sink, your legs were starting to give up on you. You didn't feel this aroused in- hell you've never been this turned on in your entire life and that's saying something about yourself right now. Why was it happening now? It wasn't nearly as bad when you were there, it should have calmed down and not worsened!

You could only let yourself fall on your knees in an attempt to calm yourself, maybe the coldness of the tiles would help? Well, it didn't. Now you could hear a cracking sound coming from above and below you, your talons and claws surely pushing the ceramic of the sink and the tiles to its limit.

As embarrassing as the whole thing was would feel yourself growing soaked, your entire core on fire, waiting for something you weren't sure only your fingers could provide. But your resolution to control yourself started to falter.

So while your nose was still buried deep into the fabric, mouth agape while you inhaled the divine sent, your other slowly caressed your body, starting by your neck, luckily your claws still retracted the moment they touched your skin. You tried to imagine how his body would feel below yours, how his fingers would feel against your skin, would they be rough or smooth? Oh- What you could do to this man at this instant.

Your hand was now on your breasts, your hand easily englobing the mound of flesh, playing with it just the way you liked, causing small moans to escape your drooling mouth. Your hips began to move with a mind of their own, swinging back and forth against nothing, the feeling at your core begging to be too much.

Leaving your other breast without giving it the same attention, you let your hand make its descent towards you screaming for attention vulva. You breathed heavily into your suit, both yours and his scent mixed making your mind go crazy.

"Fuck-Ah!" You jumped as your fingers first made contact with your aching clit, the simple touch almost enough to immediately send you over the edge. Your whole body was tensing now, waiting for something to release the unbearable tension.

Tentatively, your finger started to play around with your sensitive clit, sending powerful waves of pure pleasure through you that left your mind practically blank- except for the image of this beauty of a man panting below you.

Hips grinding on your hand, chasing for more, you allowed one finger to begin spreading your wet folds, sighting in relief when a new sort of pleasure overwhelmed your senses.

But still, it wasn't enough, you were fully moaning into your suit while three fingers worked hard on spreading you and your hips still grinded hard on your palm, trying to get as much stimulation as you could.

You had the picture perfectly painted in your head, mimicking your current depraved act, you would be riding that man until he'd beg you to stop, or until you were fully satisfied. He would look so good with tears in his eyes, you thought, the constant brows on his face as its appeal but god- what would give out to be the one making sure he was milked until there was nothing much he could give you.

You licked your dried lips at the thought, your tongue brushing slowly upon your bared fangs. You panted heavily, sensing your orgasm approach way faster than usual, the familiar tightness in your core becoming more and more unbearable, but promising a delightful end for all the torture it had been.

You curled on yourself when you grinded particularly hard on your clit, provoking a shockwave that made on fall on the floor of the bathroom. You must have been quite the sight, ass up in the air, hand pushing your suit in your face, all the while you now grinded with a desperate thrust into your hand.

Shit-shit-shit!!

Your entire frame tenses when your orgasm finally hit you full force, the hotness of your core spreading across every centimeter of skin, up until your face. Instinct taking over, you let yourself sink your teeth deep into the fabric still pushed in your face, and the moment your fangs sank in completely, you could feel your own venom ooze out of them.

"Ah AH-" You tried to muffle your sound but to no avail. Fingers still moving against and inside you, you tried to make the few waves of pleasure last as much as you could, even if it meant overstimulating you a tiny bit. After the last bit of pleasure eventually faded, you stayed immobile for a few more minutes, struggling to comprehend what exactly had just happened.

What. The. Fuck. Was. THAT?

Still slightly out of breath from your previous activity, you slowly rose back up, wincing at the feeling of your fingers leaving your leaking cunt. Sitting on your knees, you tried to assert the situation.

You looked intensely at your wet hand, your mind still not processing everything that just happened, as if it had been totally disconnected, leaving your body to be ruled solely by primary and animalistic instincts.

You stood up, not without faltering for an instant, where you incredible sense of equilibria when you needed it?

"Okay. Okay. That is just horny me, no need to think about it. It's just the Sider DND going berserk because of a pretty guy." Your reasoning was strong, at least you thought it to be, just enough to convince you would surely do the work. Looking up into the mirror about your sink, you stared at yourself, hand grabbing its edge with way too much force, causing your fingers to go white and a small crack to appear.

You looked absolutely disheveled, your already not very tidy hair now tangled in a messy patch of color. Your eyes were bloodshot red, your pupils still dilated, taking over most of your eyes, leaving no place for its original color to sip through. Along with you still, open mouth and bared fangs, your shoulder moving up and down in rapid breaths.

You looked monstrous, quite literally. If someone were to see you like this, it would be more than understandable if they suddenly took off running, fearing for their life. You seemed ready to attack anything that come your way, but you could help to find a certain charm to your current state. Sure you looked savage, but the good kind of savage.

Hell, you even though you looked pretty hot like that.

Turning on the sink you quickly rinsed off your hand, a sudden wave of fatigue shutting you down. You then took a quick shower to rinse off any residue of dirk of concrete from today's work, along with the last proofs of your own excitement.

In less than fifteen minutes you were out of the shower, patting yourself dry, and getting ready for bed after throwing your suit in the washing machine before the smell would get you to do this again-and it almost made you sad to know that the only piece of this sent would be gone. Leaving the bathroom after opening a window to evacuate the fog, you stepped into your leaving room for a quick dinner, nothing too fancy.

You took from the fridge some leftovers from this afternoon, some rice along with a small piece of marinated fish, which will be more than enough. You ate at your own pace, not bothered by the clock ticking, reminding you of today's day of work. When you finished, you took out your phone, making sure you didn't forget to activate your alarms.

You entered your bedroom languidly, the darkness of the room comforting you, and with eyes as sensitive as yours, seeing in the dark was included in the package. Putting your phone to charge and the watch thingy- a Gizmo you had learned, o the night table, you throw yourself into the smooth and soft sheets of your bed.

As you found a comfortable position to fall asleep, your mind went back to what today had taught you, memories of all the Spider-men and women invading your mind, and fatally- the image of this Miguel you didn't even know as you watched him lose everything he had.

What a shitty person I am for having this kind of thought toward that poor guy.

Your eyelids were now starting to feel heavy, and before you could react your eyes closed on their own accord, your conscience beginning to drift away.

Thought shutting down as you began to fall asleep you could help but come back to what you saw at the HQ, but this time without the guilty feeling, thanks to being half-asleep.

But he got that cake... Bigger than me.. that's for sure...

Tag list : (tell me if you want to be added/deleted)

@stany0url0calwh0res111 @mira-dystopiancore @smotheredinlighterfluid @vvitcxen @st4rrlighttt @mstozierr @maxi-ride @miguelsmainb @autismsupermusicalassassin @bluevenus19 @jenniferdixon05207 @candlewitch-cryptic @ahoeformyself @rxionv

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dominote · 4 months

Note

omg... please may I know more abt bb playing L in ur tv show au 🫴 (no pressure, I just saw ur tags and I'm so intriguied :3)

aaaa yes!! i'm not gonna give away the WHOLE THING yet (i have over a thousand words of pre-planning notes that WILL magically be turned into a fic sooner or later), but i can definitely tell you about the premise!

so, basically - a few establishing notes:

BB survives. he's let out on probation post-canon for being on good behaviour; near pulls some strings and makes sure he's kept a close eye on.

he does this by putting him with mello and matt, who also survive the events of death note. don't worry about how. the important part is that mello's the only one left who heard about BB directly from L himself, and mello can't really argue with that logic, especially with near saying mello is better suited for something than him.

mello publishes a book about the kira case because he strongly disagrees with near about keeping things under wraps. letting light yagami be remembered as a good boy and kira as a martyr to his followers? nahhh. let the world see the man behind the "divine justice" for the charming snake he was, and let kira's followers see exactly how human their god was. some details are edited, of course, but it's largely a factual account of the case where it's clearly stated when aliases are used to protect the privacy of affected people. even a lot of details about L are released, because mello wants the original L to be remembered properly, not be tucked under light's and near's asses as though there was never a difference. near doesn't agree with mello, but he doesn't stop him, either, as long as he gets to approve the final draft before release.

the book becomes an absolute bestseller, obviously. everyone wants to know the real story of the battle between kira and L. before long, directors and movie studios clamor for mello's attention, wanting to sign deals for the rights to make a movie or tv show based on his retelling of events.

obviously, they need actors for the tv show mello agrees to sign with. hideki ryuga's the director's top choice for light, not just because of the resemblance, but the fact that he's local to tokyo and the bonus of his name coming up as an alias used by L himself - it's perfect. recognizing that mello is really, really picky about the casting for L, though, the director lets mello sit in on the casting for that role.

no force in the world (matt) could possibly have kept BB from making it to the audition.

mello has little choice but to admit that yeah, okay, going for accuracy, applicant rue ryuzaki is unfortunately the best casting choice among the options. he is also one of mello's roommates and a nightmare to work with-- yeah, the director's already got him signing the contracts, sure, whatever.

BB is absolutely gleeful.

he is also, in fact, a nightmare to work with.

hideki ryuga, his co-star, puts up with him. so does misa amane (playing the role of misa amane). everyone else is desperately unsettled by his method acting ass.

in an attempt to bond, hideki takes BB out to party. while the night is a bit of a mess, they do at least get absolutely schwasted in the end. sensing weakness, BB pounces to ask the question that's been burning in his mind ever since he heard about hideki ryuga being an alias of L's.

L doesn't just use other people's names. he takes them as trophies. he defeats them first.

oh, yeah, a very drunk hideki ryuga confirms. yeah, i did encounter the guy, actually.

hideki ryuga does not realize in the slightest at this point that the perpetrator of the los angeles BB killings has just decided he is now the most interesting person around he can hyperfocus on.

#am i gonna write bb/hideki ryuga rarepair fic. the answer is ''i mean. too late. i already started it''#enjoy this uhhh. idk. preview? trailer? intro summary?

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hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall · 10 months

Text

Love isn't something you just learn Commander. Part 2

Pairing: Commander Cody x F!Reader

Words: 14 536 (oopsie)

Warning: Angst, like A LOT OF ANGST, a description of violence, DEATH, a little bit of action, wouldn't call it a smut even. Fluff. Cody being an idiot. ANGST. Bur Fluff as well.

Summary: A lot has happened and Cody realised that maybe things change.

A/N: So it is not editted. I am sorry, maybe I will do it later. I just really wanted to post it :D And I'm not sure I am 100% with the ending. It feels rush. Maybe I will come back one day and re-write. But for now. ENJOY :)

P.S. My Tag List is open to yeah... :D

It was new and scary. The thought itself wasn't really welcoming. You were a stationed medic, not trained to be a field doctor. So when the request came in for you and your team to accompany the Troops on the next mission you weren't sure if that was just some silly mistake.

Of course you were promised to be secured as well as it was possible, but the thought itself wasn't really as welcoming as you'd like it to be. The War was scary and you weren't a soldier. Not one bit, and you never hid that.

"We need some medical support. What we have from the Clones army isn't enough", Obi Wan explained, hoping to find a common ground with you. "We work well with your team. You know Kix and our medic, so both the 212th and 501st would be able to cooperate well with you."

"We're not soldiers, Kenobi" you answered, looking at your closest medics. "Most of my team consists of civilians volunteering to help, with not even any medical background." You stopped and sighed deeply, feeling all the eyes on you. "Are we going to get any basic defense lessons?"

"The first mission starts in three days. We don't have time for that. Most of your people would stay behind as a background help. Only those with more medical experience would be put in front of the battles as a better equipped help." Saying that, his gaze was moved to his soldiers and nodded his head at them, making you frown. "I'm sorry Y/N", your brow raised hearing him say your first name. Manipulative son of a bitch. "I know, you didn't sign up for that, but…"

"I will talk to my people. It is their decision, alright?", he nodded understanding your point. "I will help as much as I can of course. I'm just…" you trailed off, feeling bashful all of a sudden. "I don't want to be a bother if it comes to it."

"You won't be, Doc, trust us." Cody spoke and you turned towards him. It has been almost a month since that fateful talk. You kept your promise to him to be adult about it and to your surprise Cody made sure you felt comfortable around him. What's more, he and you spent more time together than ever. At the beginning he would come for a check up, staying a bit later just to talk. Nothing special, nothing that would make any of you uncomfortable. But with time the two of you noticed that your conversations became more and more fun rather than essential. “We would still prefer to give at least a basic defense training for the medics that would accompany us into an actual field. You included.” You swallowed and nodded. No, you didn’t like that one bit. There was a solid reason why you decided to never become a soldier. You weren’t the physical type of person really. Always keeping your nose in books has made you averse to any physical activities. “Some of my people and a bunch of 501st guys will be happy to teach you guys some basics.” Despite Cody’s soft spoken words you were still not sure about it. But it was War and you promised yourself that you would help the Clones and the Jedi win it in any way possible.

“Let me talk to my team and I will let you know about the final size of the eventual group.” All of them nodded their heads. You could decide for your own, but your people’s lives weren’t yours and they had a right to decide. “I will accompany you, of course, but I will have to leave Garialth here to keep an eye on everything.” Kenobi wasn’t too happy about it, but he understood that someone must stay behind in case and if he was forced to choose, you were still the best possible option. “How much time does my team have to decide?”

“None, really” Rex interjected, sending you one of his apologetic looks. “Even if the smaller medic teams wouldn’t accompany us to the field, we still need to give them a basic military brief. And we leave tomorrow morning so…”

“Give me half an hour?” Rex smiled, thankful for your cooperation. “I need your word, Kenobi, that if any of my men decides to stay here, there will be no consequence.” The Jedi nodded and promised that nothing bad would happen. “And I want to have a way to contact all of the teams that will be made up from my medics.” Another nod and well, you had to give it to Kenobi. After all, he was a negotiator. “Half an hour.”

***

You were proud of your men. There were only a handful of them that didn’t want to join the Troopers. Most of them may have been civilians joining your team, but they have quickly become the true medic team of the War. Even Skywalker and Kenobi were surprised when you gave them the numbers. Yes, you were proud of your men, and even more afraid now. The more joined the field, the bigger probability that more would never come back.

“Come on, Doc.” Cody’s hand on your shoulder shifted your focus onto him. “I’m responsible for your training.”

“Excuse me?” You gaped at him, not believing what you were hearing. “For sure you have some better things to do than that!” He turned and looked at you with a raised brow. He sighed deeply and then you truly looked at him. He was tired, very tired. The rested man that left your hospital bed was long gone and the Cody you knew took his place. The blacks under his eyes were getting bigger, his face despite not showing any emotions gave away more to those that looked closely. You noticed the way he would look for a quiet place more than often, probably due to the headaches that were probably becoming an everyday occurrence in his life now. His sullen cheeks worried you a bit that you have already been taking care of. Whenever he would come to you for a caff or just a talk you always had something to eat. Whether it was something as stupid as a sandwich or even something sweet. But something more than ratio food.

“Keeping you and other medics safe is our priority now.” He smiled softly seeing the way you were looking at him. “Stop analyzing me.”

“I’m not” you pouted and chuckled when he raised his brow at you playfully. You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Fine, maybe I am. But can you blame me? You left my hospital looking shiny, like you came right from Kamino and not even a month later you are once again.. Well you…”

“Me?!” He laughed at that and you cursed the little butterflies in your stomach at that sound. It wasn’t often Cody would truly laugh, but when he did, it was the most beautiful sound and you swore you’d do anything just to hear him again. It was like an addiction, when you had it once, you wanted it always.

“You look tired Cody. I know you’re the Marshall Commander but when was the last time you actually rested? I can’t make you train me when I know you could spend that time resting.” He raised his brow at you and you stood your ground, knowing what he was doing. The bastard knew how imitating he was, but you were a head medic of the Coruscant Hospital. You weren’t one for intimidation. And so you crossed your hands and locked eyes with him, making him smirk.

“You are stubborn, has anyone ever told you that?”

“One or two of your brothers”, you shrugged and he rolled his eyes at that, making you smile.

“How about we go through the strategy for this mission, and while you revise it yourself I would close my eyes for a while?” You narrowed your eyes at him but obliged, happy with a somehow compromise. A simple “close my eyes” wasn’t what you initially was aiming for, but when it comes to Cody, you knew it was more than what you were able to get.

"Just a heads up, I'm a very slow reader!" The man chuckled and you were already forming a plan for him to rest as long as possible. Even if it meant reading the damn strategy briefing more times that it was logically necessary.

***

The sound of your angry groans was the only thing that could have been heard for a while now. No matter what you'd do, the damn thing wouldn't work as well as it did for Cody and the bastard seemed too smug about it.

"You won't become an A-class shooter after just an hour, Doc" the little smirk on his lip would normally bring a soft smile to your lips, but you were tired and annoyed. Nothing seemed to work. No matter how you stood, how high or low your arms were, or what direction your feet were facing, you were unable to shoot the damn target.

"Your breath is too hectic", he started, taking a stand next to you. His blaster at a perfect angle with his arm, the stance was just as he showed you, and his eyes never leaving the target. A perfect soldier shooting a perfect 10. "It's like you hate the solemn thought of holding a blaster." You looked at him and bit your lips nervously. He had a point, the first time he gave you the gun to hold, you could feel your hand shaking. You weren't a trained soldier. You were a medic, a doctor, and holding a gun was the last thing you wanted.

"I'm a medic, a doctor," you started, avoiding his eyes. It felt stupid. Here you were in front of a Marshal Commander, a man you lo… you look up to, looking all so weak and pathetic. "I swore to protect people not kill them." Cody frowned and sighed, ignoring the way you flinched at it a little bit.

He never thought of that. He knew training you wouldn't be easy, after all you weren't a trained soldier, bread for it. But he never truly comprehends that your complete lack of skill with a blaster would have another reason, other than just you being unable to do it. He would never have guessed that someone would just be opposed to even holding it and with an actually good reason.

"A gun isn't just for killing," he started, not sure how to go with it. He wasn't good with talks like that, Rex or even Fives would probably have a better go, but you were here with him and his job was to keep you safe. He wanted to keep you safe. And to do it, he needed you to learn the basics of self defense. "It can save people as well. This is how we do it, why we Clones use it." You raised your brow at him but looked at him giving that benefit of a doubt. "Killing is hard and the last result when it comes to humans. This is why the blaster has two options. To stunt and to kill. We may be machines made to win a war but we do not like killing any more than you or other civilians."

"You're not machines!" He smiled at your interruption. He would never admit, but his heart did skip a bit whenever you showed your protective side towards him and his brothers. He would never admit to it, but he liked the way your eyes shine with anger whenever someone spoke wrongly of Clones, he couldn't help but smile at the way your tone gets more serious and your feet stumble with a bit of anger, almost as if to emphasize your words. It's kind of childish, but he still adores it. He doesn't know when that happened, but whenever you speak and defeat them, his heart does this weird thing he never truly understood and he thinks he never will.

"Is that all you got from my speech?" His question, despite being serious, weighs some kind of cheekiness that only Cody would show. "Think of a gun like one of your scalpels and equipment you use to save our lives." He gave you the weapon back and you looked down at it, weighing it in your hand.

It was so warm. From that short time he held it it already became his. She felt different, like his touch on it took away the scary aspect of it. After all, if Cody could hold it and use it, it can't be that bad. Right ?

"How do you feel with a knife?" The question got you off guard. You raised your brow at him and smiled mischievously.

"I did cut you open nicely", your heart skipped a bit with his laugh and you were never more proud of yourself. Cody had one of the most beautiful laughs. Despite him being a clone, you were sure that you would be able to distinguish him from the others with that laugh alone. It was deep and soft at the same time, with that something in it, something mysterious.

"Maybe the gun isn't really your thing after all."

***

"So no knife either?" You felt like crying. Nothing worked. The knife was even worse than the blaster. With the latter, you were at least able to shoot remotely close to the target, with a knife… well it took Cody one simple move to take it away from you. You felt angry and embarrassed and you don't know when you started to cry. "Hey, Doc, are you alright?" The concern in his voice brought a quiet sob from you, which he didn't miss. His hand on your shoulder would have probably brought you comfort if you weren't so mad at yourself right now. "Did you hurt yourself?"

"I'm angry", you hissed, throwing away the knife and trying to get rid of the angry tears pouring down your cheeks. "I'm so damn furious at myself." He raised his brows and whether he knew or not, his hand tightened on your shoulder. "We're off on the first mission tomorrow and all I did for the past two days was waste your time. I'm so angry because I'm sure you had better things to do than babysit me around and teach me things I'm so terrible at. You tried so hard and here I am…" you looked up in alarm when you heard a chuckle coming from the man. You expect all the different reactions but not this.

"I'm sorry Doc, I really am… it's just" he composed himself and straightened sending you one of his soft smiles. "I thought you hurt yourself or I worked you off too much and here you are… gosh you really are adorable!" The both of you froze at his words.

From the way his eyes searched anything but you, it was obvious he did not plan on saying it. At least not saying it out loud. You looked away and bit your lip nervously. You must have misheard him, it was impossible that the Marshal Commander Cody saw you as adorable. But it was not the time for that. And so you did all you could to master the most neutral face, like you didn't hear it at all.

"You're tensed", he finally continued when he noticed that words he stumbled didn't have any effect on you. He wasn't sure if he was thankful for that or the complete opposite. "It's like you are already preparing yourself for failure." You rolled your eyes, trying to control your breathing once again. "Here." There was a millisecond of uncertainty, but he picked up your knife and walked behind you, handing you the weapon. "Take it and slowly take a deep breath. Try to feel it in your hand, but empty your mind. Do not associate it with anything rather than just a knife. A blade you used hundreds of times in your entire life." His gloved hand was on yours, the second one protectively on your other arm. "You're holding it so hard, I'm afraid you'll break it", you couldn't help but chuckle, despite the uncontrollable feeling in your stomach, when he moved closer and you could feel him almost leaning on you. "Take a deep breath, Doc. Breath with me. Come on", he turned you around and put your hand on his chest. Despite the inner happiness in seeing him in only his blacks, you really wished he had his chest plate now on. You could feel his muscles from the thin fabric and you did your best to focus on what he wanted you to do.

And so you closed your eyes and listened to the controlled beating of his heart. How his chest would move wu\ith such peace that you envied him for it. "Breath with me. In and out and repeat."

He smiled softly, feeling how you started to drum your fingers on his chest, almost looking for a rhythm that would relax you somehow. He would never guess that you were so stressed. He knew that feeling well. Having the lives of others on your back was enough to make your nights sleepless. Also the longer the War was taking, the more tired you would become, the more of his brothers would make your life more and more tiring. He knew and saw numerous times how you cared deeply for him and other Clones and he knew that whenever any of them didn't come back it hurt you more and more. And yet you never let it affect you. You always smiled and supported them. You were always there when he or the others needed you. You would send him to get some sleep, not caring about the oh so growing bags under your own eyes. You were way beyond tired, you were exhausted and yet here you were on a way to a mission you really could have said no to. However, you never even thought for a minute about yourself, your main priority was your man. You didn't think twice before saying yes, but your men’s lives weren’t yours to decide. You were not a soldier and yet you were stronger than anyone Cody knew. And he admired it, he watched you since his hospital visit and he couldn't take his eyes off.

In the beginning he would come and talk to you, because he felt bad for the way he reacted to your feelings. But the more he observed, the more time he spent with you, he learned to realize that he actually enjoyed that time. You were such a fun and interesting person, with a lot to talk about. And what he found himself to be waiting for yet another evening he would spend just with you. Talking about the War, politics and the situation of the medic teams. But also about your favorite planet, the language you both would like to learn, about the dish you'd like to try and things you'd never touch and how awful Kenobi's lack of any reason is. He found himself thinking what would you think of the last planet he was on. Would you enjoy it or would you hate it as much as he did. What he learned was that he didn't find it scary that he started to think of you more and more often. And that scared him the most.

"Now open your eyes and just do what I taught you." And to your surprise the knife actually hit the target. Maybe not the actual target per se, but it stuck into the oval plate, which was a much better outcome than the other tries before. You gasped surprised and looked up at Commander smiling widely. You were so excited about the outcome of your last throw that you didn't realize how close you were to the man. His hands were still on you, his body closer than before. "Good girl." He murmured and it was then you realized. The praise never left him before and it was so unexpected that you had to stiffen the little moan trying to escape. Was he doing it on purpose, did he know what he did to you? Could you even dream to think that maybe you had a small effect on him as well? "Now let's see if that would work on the blaster as well." He took a step back and removed his hands from yours, putting the practice blaster in the same place the knife was just seconds ago. "Just like you did before take a deep breath."

You tried your best to concentrate and remember the feeling just before you threw the knife. But your mind was blank,completely. Your body felt cold and stiff again and you missed it. Miserably. You looked away afraid to see disappointment in his eyes.

"Again", you flinched a little bit, unsure if it was the Commander voice he used on you now, or you were just being paranoid. "Relax, Doc. You're stiff and awkward again. Take a deep breath, just like I showed you."

You weren't sure what it was that made you say it. Was it the overwhelming feeling or failure that you wanted to end. Or just a reminder of his hands on yours, the dream you know that would never come true. The reminder of him behind you, so close that could feel his heartbeat. The same heart you saved weeks ago. The heart of the man you were so desperately feeling in love with and you couldn't help it.

"Would you remind me, please?" Cody's eyes widened, hearing your quiet and soft question. You still weren’t looking at him, but he was sure to see your cheeks getting this adorable color of pink. It's not that Cody isn't familiar with women, hell no. He had enough adventures with them when he went to the 79's. But these were emotionless, he always knew what to expect. A night of fun and release and a goodbye before the sunrise. A one night stand. Nothing more, nothing less. But despite it all, he knew when a woman flirted with him. And despite the women in the club being more forward, he was sure that little question was not innocent. Not when you yourself were so flustered.

He felt divided when he stood behind you. He knew that he shouldn't, he didn't want to give you hope that anything could happen between the two of you. He knew he was becoming soft on you, but you weren't like those girls in the club. He didn't want to use those feelings of yours as a way to release his stress. You were so much to him already. So much more than he would dream to accept.

But the other part of him was pulling him towards you. It wanted to be closer to you, to be touched by you and show the most vulnerable parts of himself, he never showed anyone, not even his closest brothers. He wanted to get to know you more and more. And not only on the physical level but the emotional as well, and as scary as it was it was most importantly thrilling. And the more time he spent with you the more time he realized the second voice always won.

And so he grasped your arm in one of his hands, turned you around and pulled you towards him in a way that your back was pressed against his chest. The hand on your arm traveled down to your hand holding the blaster, changing its position to make sure you held it correctly. His other hand was hovered over your hip. "Relax, mesh’la" you shivered slightly hearing his voice so close to your ear. You swallowed hard and did what he asked, ignoring the Mando word you were sure you've heard before in your life. "There, good girl!" Now you were almost sure he was doing it on purpose. There was no way that he was as cruelest as that. You felt so warm and no matter how much you tried, you felt heat on your cheeks and your mouth was getting drier and drier. "Good, deep breath. Close your eyes for a second and relax." You followed his instructions and smiled, actually relaxing with his touch. He smelled amazing as well, like pinetree forest. So fresh and natural and so when you opened your eyes and shot, you actually hit the little disk not too far away from the target.

He turned you around and smiled softly at you. The kind of smile you have never seen. You could see it in his eyes how proud he was of you right now. His other hand joined the first one in your hip and he pulled you closer, closing the distance between the two of you even more. His eyes shifted to your lip and you swallowed, unable to look away from this beautiful, amazing man. As you were about to pull him down by his neck, the loud beeping pulled you two away from each other.

"General", his tone lacked the softness and he was back to being the Commander of 212th. "Yes, we are done here." You felt a weird twist in the stomach when he didn't look at you. "She'll manage when it's necessary", you looked away from him and put the gun away, the feeling getting nastier every second. "Yes, sir. I'm coming" He ended the call and without giving you even a look, walked to his armor and put it on quickly, including the helmet. "Practice what you learned alone. I will send Boil to supervise your progress" and he left, leaving you completely dumbstruck. Without even a glance back, the doors closed behind you and you felt tears in your eyes.

What the hell just happened? There were so many questions in your head now and you weren't sure, you were able to find an answer to any of them. Were you too forward with the request ? If you were, why didn't he say anything? It was him, who pulled you closer, it was him that gave you that look. It was his hand on your hips and it was his smile that lured you towards him. And despite knowing it all, you still felt as if you screwed up. You were standing there searching for a reason why he just left, moving you to someone else, as you were an incompetent shiny.

You cursed when tears started to fall. Why did he just leave? Did he hate you now ? Did you read the room wrong ? The more you thought about it, the more you felt your heart breaking. You thought, damn that, you hoped, that maybe you two were getting closer. You never expected him to return your feelings. You just wanted to be his friend. You just wanted him in your life. And somehow, not even sure how, you screwed it all up.

It was stupid of you to think that someone like Cody would ever be interested in you. You were just one of the medics, working for GAR. There was nothing special about you. You weren't even able to use a blaster. How would you even think, the Marshal Commander would spare you any time. You should have been happy that he spent his precious time with you. Something you were sure that you have lost.

And so, you followed his order. An order of the Marshal Commander of the Republic army. You calmed yourself down and practiced, to make sure that you wouldn't bother anyone.

***

"You look angry" Rex was looking at his vod with concern in his eyes. "You seemed optimistic with the plan on the debrief."

"It's a good plan." Cody answered shortly, taking a sip of caff, or whatever the hell that was supposed to be.

"Then what's going on?" The Commander sighed and hid his face in his hands, unable to even explain it. He was angry at himself. So damn frustrated, that he let himself go when it came to you. He acted like a damn shiny. It was stupid, but he knew what he wanted at that moment. He wanted you, so damn much. He wanted to taste you in all the ways possible. He wanted to feel those soft hands on his skin, he wanted to hear you say his name. He wanted you. And that was the stupidest thing he did, even worse than getting drunk with Wolffe that one night, and that was stupid already.

"Nothing. I just have to get my head straightened to focus on the mission", the captain raised his brow in surprise. Cody was always focused on the mission. Rex hasn't met anyone as serious about the War as Cody was. So whatever got him distracted must be huge. "I have to focus on what's really important."

"You spend too much time with General Kenobi… you start talking in the same mysterious ways" the Commander chuckled softly and took another sip from his cup, hating it even more than the first one. What he wouldn't do for a cup of an actual caff. He would have to definitely go see Fox after that mission. The bastard was one lucky son of a bitch. Sure he had to work below Palpatine, but he had the best caff.

"Have you ever thought about something more?" The question surprised both of them. Cody wasn't sure if it was the tiredness and lack of sleep that pushed him to start the topic, or just the fact that he felt worse and worse everytime he remembered the look on your face when he just left.

"More than what? That piss they dare call caff?

"You know what I mean Rex’ika" the captain of course knew what his brother meant. But he was still working out the surprise of the question itself. Cody was a dedicated soldier, one of, if not the best one out there. And here he was, asking about the alternative future. Something more than being a soldier. "What if there is more and we're just too afraid to take it?"

"We're soldiers, Clones… we are at War. I won't lie to you and say that I never thought of what it would be like to have a family one day. To wake up to a nice warm body wrapped around me and not wonder about the awkwardness of the morning after." He chuckled nervously. "But I'm aware that those are dreams of common men, and we, my friend, are not common men." He hated to see the way Cody shoulders dropped a bit at his words. But he preferred to be honest with him straight away than to give him a false hope that would break him even more, later on. "So I'm guessing the training was eventful?"

It was Cody's time to chuckle nervously, sadly even, which didn't go unnoticed by Rex. It wasn't a surprise to Rex about your feeling towards his Vod, and he may have heard of the rejection you got from the said man. So it was surprising to see when Cody has started to spend his time with you, more often than not. And he was more than surprised when it was the Commander that volunteered to train you for the upcoming mission. Rex worried it would only make things more complicated, but he never thought it would turn out like that. With Cody falling for the sweet Doctor. If they weren't Clones, during the War, he would have found the situation hilarious. If only.

"Boil is going to train her that last day" Rex' eyes widened at Cody's words and tone. "I need to focus on the strategy and the briefing. I don't have time to babysit. "Not waiting for a response, the Commander stood and left the kitchen, hoping to get at least a bit of sleep.

Rex was staring at the closed doors unable to comprehend what just happened. But whatever did happen between the two of you must have scared the man quite a bit, seeing how he decided that running away from his problems and putting down the emotional barrier was the only way to go. Rex only hoped that it would not affect you that much.

***

Boil was an excellent teacher. He was patient and fun to be around. He gave you some tips for when you have to shoot and you don't have time to think. Or he gave you an idea to hold the knife differently. Of course he didn't make a soldier out of you in a day, but you were more than thankful to him for the support. You still felt nervous now, sitting at the briefing room, but you kind of felt like you would be able to do something. He also made sure you trained hard enough not to think of Cody.

Cody, the same man, who was standing near the table covered in plans, who was ignoring your presence. It was like you didn't exist. Like that little scene between the two of you never happened. Like all that relationship you worked so hard in maintaining just seemed to cease. It broke your heart, seeing how he bluntly ignored you, not even daring looking your way.

"You with us, Doc?" You blinked a couple of times, turning your attention towards Kenobi, who was relying on the brief for the mission.

"My people are ready, whenever you need us." You started, walking closer to the map, stopping as far away from Cody as possible. "My technical team will be stationed here", you pointed at one of the caves about half a click from the main medical base and about a click from the main battle front. “Kix' team will support my guys there and have some moving men between those two places." You circled around the spots you talked about. "This will give us a good flow of pace. Team Alpha and Beta will be placed under both you General and Skywalker as medical support for the Clones teams." You paused and looked at the two Jedi with nothing but seriousness in your eyes. "Please remember I put these men's lives into your hands, Masters. I trust I won't have to focus on writing any apology letters to their families." This was one of the points you brought up regarding the mission. Your men would be as safe as it was possible. "Ceavis and I will lead two small teams closest to the Generals and focus on first aid and logistics. Each team will consist of 4 men plus the leaders. What we say, goes. Understood?" You were sure you noticed a smirk on both Rex' and Ashoka's lips. But no one dared to say anything but to nod.

This mission was one of the most important ones yet. Two objectives during one assault. One team would focus on the fighting and defending objective. Keeping the army as far away from the separatists' base as possible. And that mission fell on the more offensive 501st. The other one would be responsible for saving the political prisoners and getting the stolen information back to the Republic - fallen under the responsibility of the 212th. This was why the medic team was needed. There was no time to retreat and help the injured back in the base. The base would have to move with them and help those that would still be working, hoping to minimize the casualties.

"Doc, you keep with me and Cody." You tensed a bit, unable to hide it away from the Jedi, who only raised his brow. "We will listen to you regarding the medical knowledge and expertise, but Cody here is responsible for you, so you listen to him. Understood ?" He mimicked your words with a lace of joke in his voice. You nodded looking at the Commander, who was still looking at the map, memorizing it to the last detail.

You couldn't blame him, you knew that. He was focused on the mission and the War and keeping his brothers alive. But it still hurt you that he bluntly ignored you, like you were some kind of disease. It hurts you to be able to see the softness in his eyes and feel it on your skin and so absurdly be punished for it. You never expected anything from him, and you told him that, and for just one moment you felt so happy and full. So full and finally able to breathe when he looked at you with those eyes of his. Like you were the only thing in the world at that short moment, like you were a magnet pulling him towards you. And then it was over, it ended sooner than it actually started and he wasn't even able to look at you.

"Don't worry, Kenobi. I know my place." You didn't mean it to sound as hurt as you did, but it did make Cody finally look at you. He frowned, but didn't say anything. Putting his helmet on, he left the room, telling his General he's off to double check everything.

"So…" you looked at Rex who walked to your side. You were thankful it was him and not Kenobi, or worse, Anakin. "Will you at least tell what my di’kut of a brother did?" You couldn't help but smile softly at the Captain. You weren't sure if Cody spoke to him about what happened… on the other hand you would like to know yourself what happened.

"Getting rid of any interruptions." The Clone raised his brow at that and sighed. He was afraid, whatever Cody started talking about, was more what he originally thought. And seeing the way you both reacted to each other, Rex knew that whatever you worked so hard to build, was somehow destroyed. And he couldn't get the feeling off his chest, that it was somehow his brother's fault. "It's my fault really. I was stupid enough to hope that whatever was building between us was something more than a typical professional relation." And before Rex was able to say anything, you left the briefing room, hoping he would have missed that single tear that dropped down your cheek.

***

"I hope you know I don't like it one bit" Ceavis growled under his breath, preparing for the upcoming mission. Ceavis was your third in command and as much as you appreciated his work and knowledge, you and him were never truly friends. You both had too different characters and a completely different look on the world and your jobs.

"Yes, you mentioned that once or twice", you rolled your eyes at his tone and sighed. You were in no mood to listen to his constant negativity. It was the last thing you and your men needed. You knew it wasn't a good idea, but the decision has been made. "I'm not sure which team would actually be a better and safer option." You stared at him for a while, waiting for him to at least start packing the essentials, but apparently he had all the time in the world, while you were repacking for the fifth time already.

You didn't know how Kix did it. You were only allowed a small backpack, enough to keep you alive, but not enough to actually do anything productive. It scared you, the thought that you had to choose from the essentials, that the Clones had to choose like that every damn mission.

"Master Skywalker and the 501st's team will be much bigger, that's why I'm sending you there." You started, trying to control the annoyance in your voice. "You and Enya will focus on firming two formations. Let Enya handle the stay put one, while you take the teams and get the help directly to the soldiers. Your team got the basic training right ?" He nodded visibly, not happy with the way you still wanted to go with the mission. You wonder why he even agreed to come. "Anakin knows that the lives of my people are his priority. He wouldn't want to get under my skin, so whenever you feel like the mission is out of the hands of the 501st speak with Rex and Anakin." You got a nod from him and you turned to leave the room. "We are part of something bigger here, Ceavis, try to remember that", and not giving him any time to respond you left, going to meet up with your team.

***

"Is there any reason for this weird energy between you and Doc?" Cody frowned at his General. He should have known Kenobi would have picked up any unusual behavior. "I thought you were becoming close."

"Too close", the Commander answered, before he was able to think of the words coming out of his mouth. He sighed at the Jedi's raised brow and continued. "We're at War, General. It would be irresponsible to get attached to anyone."

"You don't mind the relationship you share with me and your brothers."

"This is different, sir!" Cody murmured, knowing well enough what the man next to him was trying to do.

"Well I hope so, I'm really not good at dealing with romantic feelings" Cody's head snapped at him, his eyes widened and mouth opened almost as if he was ready to fight with his General, but nothing came out. "Whether you're blind or really afraid. Frankly I never considered you a coward and for the success of the mission I hope there's nothing wrong with your eyesight." The Clone swallowed hard and the Jedi smiled. "What's really the matter, my dear ?" Cody hated it when he used these words of affection. He would never be able to say no to his Jedi, and he hated the fact that the general had such power over him. With nothing more than some words.

"I don't really know myself. Before I knew it, I started to actually enjoy her company. She's smart, witty, interesting and…" He coughed awkwardly, playing with his helmet. "She's really pretty." He looked away, hearing the Jedi chuckle softly. "I felt bad at the beginning. I never had anyone declare their love for me and I didn't want her to get hurt. I hoped that if I tried to stay friendly she wouldn't feel bad. But the more time I spent with her the more I thought of her." He shook his head in annoyance and kept on playing with the helmet. "The last couple of days, when I trained her… I know not every Jedi believes we’re nothing but the weapon for the Republic, but it's still weird to hear it from civvies." He scratched his neck nervously, feeling his Jedi's eyes on him. "She sees us. Like really sees us and I can't help but wanting to see her as well. She cried angry tears because she thought she was a burden to me." He chuckled, but got serious again with the flashbacks. "I never felt such a pull towards anybody. I wanted to comfort her not as a Commander, but as a man. Her man." He clenched his hands around his helmet and closed his eyes. "I… you called when I almost …egh.. you know."

"Kissed her", Kenobi helped him out, laughing at the way his Commander stared at him. It was like he said something in a line of taboo. Obi Wan could not help but admit that it was adorable to see the always stoic Commander, all flustered with a thought of kissing someone.

"I'm starting to realize why the Jedi opt for no emotions involved." Cody started again, making the Jedi frown again. "I asked Boil to train her after that and we haven't really spoken… I'm trying to ignore her, because if I'm near her, all I think about is her going on that mission with us. And the thought that something may happen to her paralyzes me to the ground. It's pathetic isn't it?"

Kenobi smiled softly at the man and patted him on the shoulder. It wasn't a secret to him that you were utterly in love with the man, but it was new to see the Clone smitten with you, especially after he rejected your feelings in the first place. He knew the way others looked at the Clones, and he would lie if he said he wasn’t angry whenever someone said something bad about them. For the General, his Commander and his brothers were as much human as he or anyone in the Galaxy and they deserved the respect for protecting the Republic. So whenever he went out with his battalion to 79th, he truly enjoyed seeing them relaxed and flirty with the girls. And it wasn't a secret that he saw Cody as more than his Commander. He was happy to call him a friend and right now, he couldn't help the happy feeling in his stomach seeing Cody in love with his other friend.

"It's not pathetic, Cody. It's childish that you ignore her, yes." He grinned at the angry look from the Clone but continued nevertheless. "But definitely not pathetic. We Jedi see more and feel stronger. So much stronger than anyone in the Galaxy. To control those feelings we opt for these no attachment rules. But it's not like we don't feel. Feeling makes you human. It makes you act faster and stronger to protect those that you care about. You are a great soldier, my dear, and there is not doubt in me that the mission will be a success, even when you worry so deeply for our Doctor." The Clone smiled softly and nodded. "Love isn't easy and it doesn't always end well, but running away from it may be the most stupid mistake you'd made in your life. If you care for her, talk to her. Tell her how you feel, but for the love of the Force, don't ignore her. You'll only hurt yourself and her even more." He ended at the same moment when your team was slowly getting hungry. "Trust me, my friend. Life is to short for regrets."

***

"I want to set a camp of some kind in here" you stated, showing a place that was supposed to be abandoned, not too far away from the final destination, but far enough that the medics would have time to fall back. "If you need a medic to come with you, I volunteer, Boil and Commander Cody have trained me enough not to be a bother. Aila will stay and take command over the camp." The young girl nodded, already hearing the plan from you, before you presented it to the battalion. "Cath has also agreed to go if you decide to split during the mission. This would give a total of four medic in the move-in team, which is more than enough." You looked at Cath, a young man who, as one of few, had some experience with blasters.

"Sounds good to me" Kenobi started, looking at his Commander who was still looking at the holomap, a frown on his face. He didn't like the fact that you so willingly wanted to go with them, but he knew if it was anyone else he would have agreed to a good plan. You were the best medic he knew and it would be a stupid ass decision if he declined your help, especially that it was what he trained you for.

"It sounds good. Having a small camp will help in case we would need to fall out and go in a smaller group." He nodded, more and more impressed with your planning skills. It made him a bit at ease, when he knew you were prepared for that mission. "The entry to the building seems like a labyrinth, it would be a good idea to divide the teams right now, to save time later."

"I'll take the lead with the first team, you can have the other team." Kenobi started looking at Cody, who nodded in agreement. "I want to see what Cath is capable of." He didn't miss his Commander's eyes on him and he knew there would be a stern talking about it later on. He bit down a chuckle at that. "You and Doc work well together, are you OK with that ?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Sure, Kenobi", both of you answered at the same time, not daring to look at each other. Working well with each other. You almost scoffed how untrue that was at the moment. You probably would if Cody would have enough guts to look at you… and well, if you weren't such a coward yourself. But this was a mission, no personal attachment was prohibited and you had to hide the hurt you felt. And shame. It was the second time you let the same man break your heart. He didn't even have to do much, his ignorance was enough for you to bring tears in your eyes at night. But it was in the past, nothing was more important than the present. And right now you had to work together to make sure the mission went smoothly.

"Alright! We move out in ten, get ready!" Everyone around turned and was ready to follow the Jedi into the ship, already prepared for the upcoming mission. You did the same, turning to leave when you felt a hand on your wrist stopping you.

"Can we please talk?" You raised your brow wanting nothing more to just walk away and tell him there was nothing to talk about. But your stupid heart made you stop and nod at the Clone. "I must apologize. What I did in the training room was a mistake." So two was not enough. He just broke your heart the third time. A mistake - that closeness, that softness in his eyes, the touch of his hands on you. It was all a mistake. "I should not have gotten so close. I… I mean there is a mission and I think we should both focus on that right now." He tried to make the last two words stand out, but the nervousness made it only sound harsher than he ever intended.

"I understand", his eyes widened at your affirmation and he seemed to relax a bit, until he actually looked at you and his heart broke just a little. Your expression was emotionless, your eyes had no life in them, like you didn't care about anything. "You don't have to worry, that mistake won't happen again." He voluntarily flinched at your monotone voice and the repeat of his own words. Somehow, hearing them from you, felt foreign, painful. "The mission is a priority, Commander." And then you left him alone in that empty briefing room. Feeling worse than he has ever felt before.

***

The planet was a nightmare. Whenever you stood, you could hear someone fighting. It was like a war zone on the whole damn planet. You tried to ignore the dead bodies of locals, just left there. Forgotten by everyone, like a bag of trash forgotten, when it wasn't needed anymore.

"We divide here." Kenobi started, looking at your team, as if encouraging you. You sent him a small smile, which je reciprocated with a firm nod. "Cody, I will let you know when we get the data back, I'm awaiting your response when it comes to the situation at your sector."

"Yes, sir !" The Clone turned towards your group and showed the small map from the holopad. "We will focus on that road here. It's a recon mission from us. If we can avoid the fight we will. 501 has that covered." You couldn't help but smile at his tired tone, when he mentioned Anakin's division. "We may encounter local forces there. If you have to fight, if you don't, capture them. Reckon! Everyone gets it?” A chorus of yes sirs was heard and the men scattered to get into the position. “Stay close to me, Doc.” You turned, after hearing his voice. Despite the command in the tone, you could see a vulnerability in his eyes. You didn't understand where that came from, but you nodded.

You weren’t about to be a bother to him. You have decided. The moment that mission is over, you will come back to your hospital and regain that professional relationship Cody was so fixated about. The last thing you wanted was to make his life any more difficult than it already was. You desperately hoped to become his friend. Someone who would be able to help him whenever he would have been in need. But he wasn’t looking for a friend. You realized he was just being nice. A good, old Cody. Always the gentleman. All this talk the two of you had was some kind of an apology from him for turning you down. And that thought was making you want to break down and cry right here right now.

“Boss” you heard Aila’s voice in your right ear and turned to commlink on. “The camp is set up and we have divided work throughout our stuff and the Clones.” You smiled at her words and nodded at Cody who looked your way, as if to confirm that all is fine.

“Good! Make sure that you’re aware of both your surroundings and the medical stuff. Try to divide it into small teams as we discussed. Get Grail and Tylie focus on the equipment. The rest make sure you show off to those Clones. We can’t be worse than them.” You ignored the chuckle from the Commander and smiled at the one from the girl on the base. You believed in your men, your medics were the best and you weren’t being subjective. You trained them well, and you trusted them with your life. All you could do was boost their morale as much as possible. Even with some stupid jokes like that. “If anything happens let me or Commander Cody know.”

“Boil and Waxer have already instructed us on the military shit.” The girl laughed at the two Clones that were left behind as a support. “You be safe, OK, boss? I need a raise and I won’t get it, if you don’t come back.” You laughed at that and turned off the comm, when you walked into the tunnel.

“Focus now. Blasters out, get them into stun mode and keep your heads up.” Cody muttered, turning on the light on his helmet. “And remember we only kill the damn clanckers.” You followed his order, getting your blaster out. You could almost hear your heart beating, with how loud it was getting. You tried your best to control your breathing but it was getting more difficult the further you went into that tunnel. The damn gun was also much heavier than it was during the practice. You noticed how your hand shook a bit when you lifted the blaster slightly. This was ridiculous. You shouldn’t be this nervous, you knew what you were getting yourself into. It’s too late to change your mind. Survive this and you can come back to your patients and white walls of your hospital.

“I won’t let anything happen to you.” Cody whispered softly, seeing the way your hands were shaking. He wasn’t surprised to see your nervous state. Despite being an amazing doctor, you were just a civilian, that was always as far away as possible from the battlefield. All this must be terrifying for you. Not only were you afraid for your own life, but knowing you, you were also thinking of your team. Always the caring one. “Do you trust me?” He didn’t know where that question came from. He wasn’t supposed to focus on any kind of conversation with you. His job was to observe and act as quickly as possible. Not have an existential dialogue, with the woman he was annoyingly falling for. This should be left for after the mission. And yet here he was, trying his best to make you feel better.

“Yes”, the certainty in your voice made his heart skip a beat. He didn’t expect you to answer so quickly and with such confidence. He looked down and smiled softly seeing the way you were completely focused on your surroundings. ‘Good girl’, he thought to himself.

“Good, then we have nothing to worry about”, she smiled softly and he felt lighter seeing that little lip quirk. He felt proud for making you feel at least a little bit at ease.

“Commander!” He stopped, motioning to others to stand by. “Its Vice here. We are at some kind of door, about half a click from your position. We can check it out, or should we wait for you?”

“Wait for us.” He commended, signaling others to move again. “All the medics are here with us, in case something happens no one will be able to help you. Stand down, and wait, Tropper.” A soft yes, sir was the last thing Cody heard and he took some extra, longer steps to get where his men are. He could hear how you already contacted the CLone medic for this team, to be ready. Well, there go the nerves.

“Isn’t it too quiet, Commander?” If they were in any other situation, he would have hated the way you addressed him. But it was the mission, and he was telling himself you were just being professional. Something he should focus on as well. “I may be paranoid, but…”

“It’s possible that the real action will start after we open those doors Vice told us about”, he answered but couldn’t get rid of the nasty feeling in his stomach. He actually did feel the same as you. You all walked for 15 minutes now and nothing was going on. Not only you haven't missed anything, but there was no one waiting for you. “General”, he finally spoke to his comm, when they stopped at the doors with Vice by his side. “Do you read me?”

“Loud and clear, Cody.” hearing as Kenobi answered almost automatically it seemed that nothing was happening on his side. “Something doesn’t smell nice in here.”

“Same here, Sir.” He murmured and signaled for his men to take position. “ We are at the doors. We will open them and see where it gets us. Has General Skywalker been in touch”

“The 501st are having the time of their lives right now, from what I heard.” You couldn’t help but chuckle softly at his sarcastic tone. “But Anakin didn’t sound like he was complaining.”

“Nothing new then”, Cody commanded and the General hummed softly. I will contact you in 15 minutes. If you don’t hear from me or anyone on the team, please assume the worst.”

“Same here, Commander. Stay safe!” And that was it. No commands from the General to the Commander. There was no need. Obi Wan trusted Cody completely and the Clone Commander knew that well. That trust went both ways.

“Ok, on count to three, Howl, open up that damn door.” raising his hand, he started to count down from three and when he closed the fist, you expected some kind of commotion, a boom or a blaster fire from the other side. But once again nothing was there. One part of you was happy that nothing has happened yet, but the second part knew that there was something fishy in here. “Move, move. Keep your eyes open, but let's keep on moving. Instinctively you moved closer to Cody, after his instructions, your fingers tightening on the blaster just a little more.

“The sensor shows around 50 people a click away from here”, Guts reported, showing the screen to Cody. So the intel was correct. There were people being held captive. “There are kids as well.” He nodded and looked down at you. You nodded, understanding. The moment they got there, it was your job to get to those poor people and help those that were in need. Your other, free fist clenched around your bag, ready for the action.

“General. We have sensed 50 lives a click away from us. We are ready to move in. We will meet you at the rendez-vous point, when we can.” He frowned when there was no response. He tried again, and again, but the line was quiet. “Howl, Vice, Doc, try your comms and contact the General.” You all did as he asked, but the outcome was the same. Silence.

“Shouldn’t we help them?” You asked and he looked at you, shaking his head.

“They may have encountered the enemy. We should finish our mission here and then help them.” You wanted to argue. What if they were ambushed, what if they needed our help but couldn’t contact us, what if… “You said you trust me, Doc.” You looked at him and frowned, when he took off his helmet. “Then trust me on this one. And let’s finish our first mission together.” You opened your mouth to respond, but couldn’t find any words. You did trust him. And his judgment. And so you nodded, closing your eyes to relax.

“Ok boys, let’s get this done and go help the General.” They all cheered and you all got ready to storm the place down, unable to hear the quiet rumble from the General in your ear. A silent “it’s a trap” that would later on be a constant nightmare to those that somehow survived.

***

All you could hear was the ringing in your ears. You tried opening your eyes, but you felt as if they were all too heavy. The air felt polluted and heavy all of a sudden. Your head, and that damn ringing wasn’t helping the migrene that was forming, quicker than you liked to admit. Something wasn’t right. But you were still too out of it to realize what was happening.

“Doc!!” you must be dreaming, because you are sure, you hear that soft voice of the commander near you. But for some reason he sounded so worried, almost scared. If that was even possible. You so desperately wanted to keep on dreaming. To have him speak to you in that same soft manner. With his hand on your cheek. This dream was what you wanted for so long and so you closed your eyes and focused on sleeping. “No, no, open those eyes. Come on, sweet girl! Look at me!” He never called you that. Those sweet words were like honey to your ears and you wanted to listen. But you were afraid that if you did, you would wake up and be met with reality. “You have to wake up, damn! Come on!” The pain in your stomach, however, brought you back to reality. With a gasp you sat down and opened those heavy lids, squinting, when the dust was getting into them. “Thank the Maker!”

You looked around and stiffened seeing the scene. If it was only biologically possible, you were sure, your heart just stopped beating right at that moment. You were used to blood and suffering and screams of pains, but what you were now surrounded by was more like Hell. It was how you imagined it to be.

“Don’t look!” it made you look up at him for the first time, since you opened your eyes. He didn’t have his helmet, there was a trickle of blood flowing down his handsome face. There were cuts on his cheeks and his always well-kept hair was a total mess now. He looked awful, and yet you still find him so incredibly handsome. “Focus those pretty eyes on me, OK?” You frowned and tried to look around again, but he stopped your head with his hand on your cheek. His forehead resting on yours, making your breath hitch at the proximity. “I need to get you out of here.”

“Cody”, you started but hissed when you tried to move. You looked down at the source of pain and your eyes widened. Your shirt was no longer white and one of Cody’s hands was pushing on the spot there, trying to stop the flow as much as he could. “What happened?” You asked quietly but he only shook his head and you released that he was shaking slightly. “Cody… Are you… Are you OK?” You were slurring a bit, but you had to make sure. He had a cut on his head. You needed to check on it, to make sure he didn’t have a concussion.

“I need to stop that fucking bleeding and I will be just fine, Mesh’la!” He said, pushing on that wound of yours, making you scream in pain. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Please, please tell me what to do!”

“I need to help others first. Need to take a look at your head!” You looked around again and a shocked sob escaped your lips, when you finally realized what surrounded you. Masses of motionless bodies, laying in the most bizarre positions. Some crushed by the rocks, some not even full. You weren’t sure if you were even able to locate the part of each of the bodies, to try to put them back together? What for? You didn’t know. Not like those Clones had families that would like to bury them. They all died here with their family. All of them, from what you saw. All these men that accompanied you here, were lying dead in front of you. And not just them. In the further part of the corridor you could see bodies of the civilians you came to save. Men, women, kids. Even babies. All dead, buried under the rocks, with blood pouring through the leaks of those rocky walls.

You tried to look away but you couldn’t. Even Cody’s hand on your face didn’t work this time. Your eyes were following each of the bodies surrounding you. A young man holding a woman in his arms. A child separated from his mother. A young woman with dreams cut so drastically. And your whole squad. Those men you loved so much and cared for. You tried to scream when you noticed Vice’s body laying not too far away from you. But you couldn’t as no sound left your lips. He just laid there, still in his armor. If you truly wanted, you could imagine, he was just resting. If you only shook him a bit, maybe he would wake up and smile at you.

You looked at Cody again, when you heard him calling you by your first name. You couldn’t remember if he ever did that? He did use your last name once or twice, but normally stuck with Doc. Until now, you weren’t sure he even knew your name. You chuckled to yourself, but caught when the pain was back, You gasped and almost fell back, if not for Cody keeping an eye on you.

“I know you worry about everyone. But please, Doc. We have to take care of you first.” Oh, yeah you were bleeding. The adrenaline was wearing off and you did start to feel it all. You tried to take a deep breath and relax a bit. You knew that if you let yourself, you will get into a panic attack mode, and that was not good for your heart. And then Cody would have to take care of even more than he does now. Poor guy. He did not sign up for this. You weren’t supposed to be a bother. No to him. No… You shook your head slightly, trying to get back to the topic at hand.

“As the bleeding isn’t exceeding, it means you did a good job and left whatever is there blocking it?” Speaking was getting more and more difficult, but you needed to instruct your commander what to do. You wouldn’t do it to him. You won’t just die, and leave him be. Alone in that Hell you found yourself in. “Don’t take it out even if I go into shock and ask you to do it, got it?” He nodded and still kept the pressure on the wound. “As I’m still able to actually think it means, I wasn’t out for too long and haven’t lost that much blood yet.”

“No… It all happened about 5 minutes ago.” You nodded and slowly sat up, easing your breathing with every second. It all meant one thing. You were probably in the second class of hemorrhagic shock, which wasn’t that bad. You did feel anxious, but the total confusion hasn’t come yet. “I’m not sure if we're actually safe here, so I would prefer to move you…”

“No”, you stopped him, mid sentence, shaking your head. “Any sudden move will lead me to bleed out. We need to stop that blood coming out of my body before anything else.”

“And how do we do that?” You clenched your hand around something, which you later on realized it was Cody’s thigh, you were holding on. But he didn’t seem to mind at all, not even caring that you would probably leave some bruises there.

“My bag”, you said softly, realizing that what you’re about to offer will be a hell on its own. But either that or bleeding out on your first ever mission. And that was just sad. “You will have to…” A cough stopped you and you cursed feeling a metallic taste in your mouth. Not good, very not good. “You will have to act fast. OK?” He nodded and he opened your back. To your surprise nothing broke there and you happily found what you were looking for. A pair of gloves, a bottle with a silver nitrate solution, you were so glad you decided to prepare. Some swabs, bacta patches and hemostatic dressings that should help the bacta to do the trick.

“Ok, some pay back for sticking my hands into your chest.” He raised his brow and smiled softly, happy to see you still had enough energy for some silly jokes. “First of all, put the gloves on. Then prepare some swabs and then after removing that thing in my body, you will pour the…”

“You just told me not to remove it”, he countered and you sigh, giving him a stern look. You didn’t have the energy to do any of it. You were slowly getting into class three of shock that wasn’t good.

“You will pull that out of me and pour that bottle’s continent on the wound. Do not stop even If I cry and scream. You need to pour at least half of it. You need to do that the second the thing is out of my body.” You looked at him and he nodded, understanding your implication. “You then put the dressing on and patch it up with some bacta. And hopefully it will stick till we get some help.”

“Hopefully?” he raised his brow at you but put on his gloves and started to follow your orders. He has never done anything like that. He wasn’t a medic. He wasn’t trained to do it. Your life depended on him and he hated it. He was supposed to protect you and here you were, lying injured because you saved him. He wasn’t sure you even remember how you pushed him away, when the bomb went off. How without thinking you just jumped to action saving his sorry ass.

He closed his eyes to relax and acted before he changed his mind. He tried. He tried so hard to ignore that hellish scream from you when he poured whatever there was in that bottle. He knew he would dream of nightmares of that scream and part of him knew he deserved it. But he kept on going. He did what you told him to do and when you laid there with your eyes half closed, breathing hard, your face covered in tears, but with the wound sealed somehow and no blood was flowing, he was fine with being the one to bring that scream out of you, if it meant you would survive it.

“Hey, Mesh’la, you OK?” You smiled weakly and nodded. “Ok, I’ll clean that up quickly and we need to go, ok?”

“I need to have a look at your injuries… We need to see if someone…”

“No-one survived.” It was like a slap to your face and you recoiled, feeling your eyes water at that. “It wa s a fucking trap. They knew we were coming and they used civilians to get us here.” He shoved the medical things into your bag, and took it on his shoulder. “I tried contacting the General, but no sign yet.” You looked around again, and sniffed looking at all those bodies laying around.

“I’m a doctor, Cody… I was supposed to save them. I was supposed to do something… I can’t just leave….”

“You couldn’t do anything for them… But you saved my life, if that makes you feel better.” You frowned, and gasped softly, when he lifted you up into his arms. He was so careful with you. It was such a contrast to the hardened soldier he was. “You pushed me away when the bob went off. I will always be in favor of you.” You looked up at his stoic face and hid your face into his chest, letting yourself cry. For real this time.

***

“Have any of them answered?” Obi Wan raised his eyes on his former Padawan and sighed, shaking his head. “Rex has his team ready to go. We will take Kix and Cath with us and we can go search for them.” Anakin looked at his Captain who nodded, ready to go and save his brother. “You can take Rex and go save your men.” The Master smirked and looked at Skywalker, who shrugged. He was a good man. Kenobi knew that Anakin understood. If it was Rex buried there, the young Skywalker would not have been as calm as his Master.

“I should have felt it in the Force much quicker. I should have acted sooner.”

“It’s not your fault, Master!” Ashoka added, frowning at Kenobi. “I don’t think anyone out there would blame you for that, and so you shouldn’t.”

“When did your Padawan become so smart, Anakin?” They both laughed softly and he sighed. “I hope she’s alright. It was her first mission.”

“Cody is there, so there is nothing to worry about, Sir!” Rex said, making the Jedi master smile softly. Yet, the Captain was right. Cody was the best soldier Kenobi knows. If there was anyone who would survive that and protect you, it was him. And so he stood and took his lightsaber from Anakin, ready to save his friends.

***

“I’m sorry Cody”, he looked down and your form crawled at his thighs. You looked so small, so adorable, if only those tears didn’t stain that pretty face of yours, he would be a happy man to hold you so close to himself. Almost losing you made him realize that he was an utter idiot. He should have been honest with you at the base. You two should have talked. And he promised himself, he would not leave your side. He would be your shield. Physically and emotionally. He would let you sleep on him, he would let you wet his armor with your tears. He would let you do anything to him, only if you felt just slightly better. “You lost so many of your brothers and I’m the one who’s…

“You cry for my brothers.” He ended for you, kissing your temple softly, making you freeze. You closed your eyes, enjoying the tender feeling of having him so close. You should not be enjoying it. It was selfish, and yet you couldn't help it. Despite the armor, you could feel the heat of his body. Or was it your body heat you felt? “Not many do that. Not many care enough to share a tear for them. And here you are. Your beautiful eyes puffy after crying so hard for those that were meant to die.”

“I hate when you say that.” He chuckled sadly, and hugged you closer, his cheek on the top of your head. “I wish I would have done more.” And yet it was like a lighting shock. You straightened, hissing in pain. Cody frowned and looked at you in alarm. “Let me see if you’re injured!” He exhaled and couldn’t help but smile.

“You should rest. I don’t know how long that patch will last…” You bit your lip and your hand slowly raised to go through his hair.

“Please, Cody. Let me be useful.” His eyes widened and he once again leaned his forehead to yours. A soft touch, an intimate gesture of the culture he was raised in. A quiet plea and the feelings exchange, of all the things he’s like to say but couldn’t. And so he nodded. And let you. He let you step away from him, keeping a safe hand close to you, just in case. He just sat there and let your small, soft hands take his armor off. Slowly, almost afraid as if your moves would bring any harm to him. If only you knew how different it was. How he yearned to feel you touch. To be cared for by you, with that loving touch of yours. “Can I?” He nodded his head, afraid to say anything. Not sure if he would be able to. “Oh, Cody!” You gasped, seeing his bruising ribs. It was impossible for him not to feel pain. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You were more important.” He murmured, not able to look at you. Such a strong Marshal Commander, unable to look at the woman he… yes, he loved, look in the eyes. What shocked him was how easy it came to him. Losing was like a spur for him to realize his feelings. “If I didn’t take care of me, who would save me like you could?” You blushed and smiled shyly at yourself, opening your bag. You carefully cleaned his bruises and the cuts on his cheek and head, making sure to bring him as little pain as possible. “I was scared I’d lost you out there.” You froze and his words, but stayed quiet, letting him say whatever was weightining on his chest. “I never wanted to hurt you. Never meant to be such a jerk. I…” He finally looked up and your heart broke a bit at his sad expression. It was like a mere memory of his actions that hurt him physically. “I was scared, because you were becoming someone so very important to me in such a short time and… I’m a Marshal Commander.” You apologized quietly when he hissed at one of the head injuries, when you put a patch of bacta there. “I’m… I’m supposed to only have War on my mind and yet here I am… I was so scared, when you laid there, unable to move.” You swallowed hard when he softly circled his fingers around your wrist. He brought your hand towards his lips and left a soft kiss there. A lingering touch, you will dream about when that mission is over. “I got scared when I realized that I cared so deeply for you. Back in the base. When I almost kissed you. You told me that love is when you can’t get someone out of your mind. And I keep on thinking of you all the damn time.” Your breath hitched at his admission.

Your shaky hand lowered to take care of his bruised ribs. And you tried to ignore how he shivered at your touch. And you hoped deep inside, that you had the same effect on him as he did on you. You should be a professional, but here he was, half naked in front of you. You tried to focus on your job, but his words shook you. He just admitted that he was falling for you. You swallowed hard, wanting to say something, do something, but you couldn’t. And so, you just wrapped his torso and ribs safely and looked up at him when you finally finished. Happy to know that there was nothing critical.

“Please don’t say all these things, if you’re going to ignore me, the moment we are back.” He flinched at your declaration, and you felt bad, but you needed to know. Needed to be perfectly sure, that if you let yourself dream, hope, then that won’t just crush after all this is over. “I have loved you for so long, so if you…” But you weren’t given a chance to finish. His lips were on you, before you were able to react. You froze, not sure if you were actually dreaming. His lips were softer than you imagined. It was kind of innocent and sweet, as if he was unsure of himself. When you didn’t move, he stepped back and awkwardly started to apologize, but you didn’t give him a chance. You crushed your lips to his, ignoring how your stomach hurt a bit with those sudden movements. But you didn’t care. You were finally kissing the man you have loved for such a long time.

Cody didn’t waste his time. Calloused, soft hands cupped your face, pulling you forward even more. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss, licking the bottom of your lip asking for permission to enter. And you let him, because who were you to make him wait. And he doesn’t waste that chance. It wasn’t just a kiss. It was a way, a chance to show you how much he adores you. His tongue is gently messaging yours, sensually, taking the time to get to know you.

He pulls away, but doesn’t waste any time, kissing your jaw softly, nipping at it softly, making you gasp softly at his touch. His hands grasp and your waist. Tightly, but enough to hurt you, mindful of your injury. He was so careful with you, so loving. You tilt your head back, wanting more. More of him, more of his warm and hot kisses. You feel him inhaling you and you can’t help but moan softly when he tastes you with his skillful tongue.

“Cody!” You shriek and he laughs, when you playfully pat him on the shoulder when he bit and sucked your pulse spot at your neck, for sure leaving a mark there. “What if someone notices?”

“Let them. They will know who you belong to!” Normally you would never let any man talk to you that way. But with Cody it didn’t feel disrespectful. It was like he was confessing, that at the same time he belonged to you and you almost cried with happiness. “But I have to stop now, cyare.” Your heart skipped a beat with the Mando leaving his mouth. “You are injured and I’m unsure if I would be able to stop myself if we go any further.” He softly kissed your forehead and you blushed at this innuendo. As you were about to say something even remotely flirtatious, a voice could be heard from Cody’s comlink. He quickly turned it on and you felt tears appearing in your eyes when you heard Kenobi’s voice on the other side.

“Cody, report.”

“General!” You could hear the Jedi relaxed sigh on the other side. “You have no idea how good it is to hear you.”

“Are you OK? Is anyone injured?” Your smile dropped and you clenched at your shirt nervously.

“Doc will need medical attention as we had to make do with her injuries.” He held your hand and sighed, readening himself to tell his Jedi the bad news. “It was a trap, Sir. The moment we walked in, the bomb activated. All of my team, including the civilians are gone.” There was silence on the other side. Probably no one expected the news to be so devastating.

“My sincere apologies, my dear. I did realize it was a trap, but…”

“Don’t blame yourself, Obi!” You interjected, hugging into Cody’s (still) bare chest. He raised his brow and you were expecting a similar reaction from the Master on the line as well. It was the first time you said his name like that. “No one could have expected that. We can’t save everyone.” You sniffed softly and Cody, wrapped his arm around you.

“It’s good to hear you”, you smiled when he used your name, instead of the nickname. “You both stay where you are. Rex has traced you, we should be there with two medics to take care of you.” And the line was off and you leaned into Cody, kissing his collarbone softly.

“When we’re back”, he started before Kenobi and the team would come. “I will properly apologize to you.” You frowned, and wanted to deny whatever he thought, but he only kissed you softly at the top of your head and shut you up completely with that sweet move. It was a truly weird feeling. You were so very happy, despite being so devastated at the same time.

***

It took you a whole month of rehabilitation and Kix’ nagging of you staying in bed, before he was remotely OK to let you leave the hospital. Cody was visiting you every day with some sort of a gift. A single flower, a chocolate, a cup of coffee, or a book, you could read to kill the boredom. You both talked, he apologized almost everyday and made sure that he bid you with the sweetest of kisses. You did have a serious talk about where you both saw this going. He promised you that he would do his best to open up to you, but he did ask to give him some time. He never even considered something as stable as a relationship and it was all new to him. And you were more than willing to give him all the time he needed. And so you both decided to take things slow. For the both of you.

So when he didn’t pick you up from the hospital today, you were worried. He was on his leave and he promised he would a week ago. But here you were, walking to your apartment alone. There was this sick feeling in your stomach, which you tried to get rid of. There was probably something holding him up. Something important.

You opened your flat doors and gasped, letting the bag fall from your shoulders to the floor. There he was awkwardly standing, in the middle of the room, with some flowers, a table ready for dinner.

“General Skywalker and Ashoka helped me with it… “ He walked towards you, handing you the flowers. “I’m sorry I didn’t pick you up from the hospital. But I do owe you a first date, don’t I, Cyare?” He leaned forward and pressed a sweet, quick peck on your lips.

“Oh, you are more than forgiven, Commander”.

Tag List: @loving-the-cambridges

#star wars #the clone wars #commander cody #star wars fanfiction #fanfiction #commander cody x reader #cody x you #idiots in love #idiots in denial #the clones #star wars the clone wars

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starlit-dreaming · 3 months

Text

when honestly you can’t recall (Baxter Ward/MC) p3

Rating: M

Romantic Ships: Baxter Ward/Original Character(s); Derek Suárez/Leandra “Lee” Last

Platonic Ships: Main Character | Jamie Last & Leandra “Lee” Last, Main Character | Jamie Last & Original Character(s)

Tags: Unplanned Pregnancy, Single Parent, Angst w/a Happy Ending

TL;DR: A self-indulgent Single Parent AU. Lee has a better relationship with my MC compared to Liz. I wrote this when the Baxter DLC was still in beta, so I opted to avoid writing spoilers (for now) and to avoid rewriting moments of the Jude/Scott wedding.

A/N: Cross-Posted on AO3 under the same title (@ Starlit_Dreaming). Originally this chapter was ~8k words, but I decided to split it when I ended up turning it ~10k when I was editing and kept on adding more and more to some of the scenes. I literally spent several hours just "editing" this chapter so it's a good thing I chopped it in half to save the rest for another day for editing rip

Obligatory Tag: @arcosoffireheart

Links: 1 | 2 | [3] | 4

Summary:

Everyone assumes that Gabby is exactly like her mother, but Rosaline will always see the traces of her daughter’s father. The shape of her eyes, how fussy she gets if there’s even a hint of conflict, every moment her daughter is calm and serene in her arms, the sweet and gentle smiles.

Her daughter does not have her black hair, either. Wavy hair, yes, but it was not fully black and her father has only ever dyed his hair.

It’s a miracle that nobody notices their similarities.

Including Baxter himself.

// In which Rosaline ends up becoming a single mother in the aftermath of her and Baxter’s summer fling. Some things change. Some things don’t.

——————————————————————

Part 3: just standing by blankly

——————————————————————

~1 Year Ago

Beginning of Summer

In-Between Steps 3 & 4: Age 22

———————————

“It’s just a dance,” she laughs as Cove starts to cry.

They’re in the living room, practicing their dancing — or rather, Rosaline was trying to teach Gabrielle how to dance, and Cove was watching. She was crouched on the carpet flooring, gently holding Gabrielle’s arms up to mimic a simple dance, guiding her daughter into a swaying motion as she giggled with glee.

Cove was sitting on the L-shaped sofa, recording everything with Rosaline’s phone as he observed their dancing. He’s taken to being a very doting uncle, diligently taking videos and pictures and crying over her daughter.

“Yeah, I know,” he sniffed, watching them with watery eyes and a shaky smile. “It’s just that… she’s just so cute! You even made her a cute poofy little dress, and it’ll be the first wedding she attends.”

“Cove, I literally made all of her clothes. This isn’t the first time I made her dress, and I’m sure our friends are going to get married sooner or later,” Rosaline laughed, shaking her head in amusement. “You know this. And she’s also the flower girl for Jude and Scott’s wedding, too.”

“I know, but still,” he sighed wistfully. “Why does she have to grow up so fast?”

She snorted, “Guess we know how our parents felt, huh?”

“It’s also hard since Gabby looks so much like you when we were kids,” Cove sniffed.

Gabrielle perked up at the mention of her name, looking over to Cove before she gasped and started wiggling out of Rosaline’s hold. Once she was freed, she approached Cove with a rather determined look for a toddler as she promptly patted his leg with a bit of a smack, making him twitch with a subtle wince.

Ah yes, the joys of toddlers going the extra mile.

“It’ll be okay, Coco!” Gabrielle exclaimed with determination, looking incredibly pumped up and sounding so much like Lee does when she’s trying to reassure Cove with endless patience and positivity. “Pain, pain, go away!”

“Oh my god!” Cove seemed absolutely delighted by this turn of events and possibly even more teary-eyed. “That’s so cute, Rosa…” he murmured, glancing at her before focusing back to the toddler. “I’m okay, Gabby.”

“But Coco is crying!” she frowned, looking up at him with a pout.

“Don’t worry, Brielle,” Rosaline laughed, walking over to sit down beside Cove and promptly scooping up her toddler. “Cove cries happy tears.”

“Happy crying?” her daughter tilted her head, purple eyes wide and curious. It’s easy most days, seeing her daughter and not seeing bits and pieces of Baxter so blatantly. Cove often says that she looks more like Rosaline anyway, but Rosa thinks that he’s just being biased for not really caring much for Baxter to begin with.

“Mhmm. Cove cries a lot,” she says, and Gabrielle nods in agreement. “People cry when they’re sad, but Cove cries when he’s happy, too.”

“Does mama cry happy?” Brielle tilted her head, eyes wide as if it were a groundbreaking revelation.

“No, mama doesn’t,” she smiled. “Mama only cries when she’s sad.”

“Mmm… it’s okay, mama,” Gabrielle nodded. “I’ll make pain go away!”

“Aw, thank you, Brielle,” Rosaline softly smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you, mommy!” she chirped.

———————————

Two Months Ago

Beginning of Summer

Step 4: Age 23

———————————

“I love you, mommy,” she sleepily chirped.

“I love you, too, Brielle,” Rosaline softly whispered, pressing a kiss to her daughter’s forehead as she pulled the seatbelt for her daughter. “And just like that, she’s already out,” she couldn’t help but feel calmer now, before closing the car door and moving to sit in the passenger seat. “Alright, space cadet, time to go home.”

“…are you sure you want to leave?” Cove asked, his brows knitted in worry as he looked at her. “I don’t mind waiting here for a bit.”

“…why would I want to stay?” Rosaline asked, closing her eyes as she relaxes into the seat. “The wedding’s pretty much done now, and everyone who’s still inside is just eating and drinking at this point. Lee and Derek already left for the honeymoon, and Brielle’s pretty tired.”

“Gabby interrupted you,” Cove murmured, sounding incredibly hesitant and unsure. “I thought that you still needed to talk to Baxter…?”

Of course Cove, out of everyone, noticed what had happened, that she was literally just finishing up a dance with the man in question. Still, the thought of him made her… well, she doesn’t quite know what to think of him right now. Thinking about him was starting to be too much of a common occurrence, but hopefully that all ends now that the wedding’s over.

If he were to need a dress designer for his clients, he wouldn’t need to talk to her again. There were other dressmakers Velvet Design Studios, and their sister buildings, Suitable Lenders and Lacework Lenders, were other viable options for renting dresses.

Rosaline crossed her arms, looking out the window to the sunset skies. For years, she’s been hung up over Baxter, and no matter what, it’s been the same thing over and over again.

She tries, he shuts her out, she gets hurt, and it repeats.

Again. And. Again.

“…”

“Rosa?”

“No. I’m… I’m tired.”

———————————

Several Months Ago

Beginning of Autumn

In-Between Steps 3 & 4: Age 22

———————————

“No, I’m… just tired.”

While it was true, she was actually exhausted for reasons unrelated to work (unless Baxter counted). She doesn’t feel inclined to correct that, though.

“Mmk, well, try to take it easy, Rosa,” Sonya said, peering at her with a concerned look. “I know you have a lot of work on your hands, and that you’re more than capable of handling it yourself, but don’t hesitate to ask for help.”

Sonya Chastain was Carol Amparo’s granddaughter and one of the few full-timers who was Rosaline’s age — most of their co-workers were usually in their mid-twenties at the earliest, thirties at the latest. She was a rather cheerful person with bright brown eyes and short blonde hair, with a bright smile that puts Cove at ease out of all her coworkers. It helps that she has a rather relaxed attitude in her interactions with everyone, which often puts high-strung clients at ease whenever she handles their fittings.

(Truthfully, Rosa was trying to hook her up with Cove in bits and pieces. Cove did think Sonya was cute, after all, and Sonya has had a major crush on him since the day they first met. Granted, she claimed it would pass, but it’s been a few years now.)

Her specialty mostly lay in beadwork than dressmaking, but she could at least do some basics and was much more adept with handling customers. Much better at it than Rosaline was.

Or at least, Rosa and Cass often pushed the customer service duties onto Sonya, since she was the youngest in their building.

The phone rings.

“Velvet Design Studio, otherwise known as Corsage Designs, Sonya Chastain speaking. How may I help you?” Sonya answered the phone with a fake smile, slipping right into character as she pulled up her tablet, bringing up the shared calendar. “Hello, Mr Ward.”

Rosaline froze, purple eyes immediately snapping over to her co-worker.

“Yes, Mrs Carol Amparo informed me that you were hoping to shadow one of our designers to learn more about our studio in hopes to be able to better offer our services to your clients.”

“What?” Rosaline hissed, earning Sonya’s confused glance. “Since when did Carol tell you that?”

“This morning,” Sonya whispered, hand covering the phone briefly before she continued to speak to Baxter and proceeded to blatantly lie because she did not plan on making any phone calls: “Yes, I was just about to call you myself to confirm a day. Will this Friday be convenient for you, Mr Ward? Lovely. You’ll be following one of our lead designers in bridal wear, Rosaline Winters.”

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry Rosa, you technically have the least workload scheduled this week since you’re focusing on a few personal projects,” Sonya whispered, looking apologetic at Rosa as she covered the phone for a brief moment before assuming her customer service smile as she refocused on the phone call. “Unfortunately, our lead suit designer, Cass Gardner, is busy at this moment in time—”

“—and I’m not?” Rosaline dryly grumbled.

“—but thankfully, Ms Winters will be able to walk you through the process of our work without an issue. Mhmm. Yes, our building is located right behind Lacework and Suitable Lenders, but if you’d like, just give us a call and Rosaline will be out to meet you.”

“I don’t appreciate how ready you are to volunteer me like this,” Rosaline muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“See you on Friday, Mr Ward!” Sonya ended the call and promptly slumped in her seat. “What’s got you so snappy, Rosa? You normally give people a walkthrough of the place,” she raised a brow. “I get that you’ve been tired lately, but it’s not like we’re pulling emergency all-nighters at the moment… plus, you love to show people around.”

“It’s worse than an all-nighter this time because Baxter’s my ex,” Rosaline groaned. “And you’re literally having me spend a day with him.”

“Oh…” she winced, opening up a calendar on her screen, typing in Baxter’s appointment. “Bad breakup, huh?”

“He didn’t think we would work out long-distance, so he dumped me,” Rosaline grimaced. “Suitor for the summer, he said.”

“Yikes,” Sonya cringed, slowly starting to organize the papers on her desk as she tried to smile. “At least you’ll only have to see him for only a day…?”

“Unfortunately no. He’s also Lee’s wedding planner, so I’m practically seeing him at least once a month if not twice a week because I’m her maid of honour and dress designer, so we’ll be in regular contact. Plus, he wanted to keep tabs on the dress progress — first time having a bride custom order a dress, so he wanted to know a little more.”

“For real?” Sonya looked taken aback at that, pausing in her organizing to look incredulously at her. “But Lee outright adores you, Rosa. Why would she deliberately put you into an awkward situation with your ex?”

“Derek was the one to set the meeting up, and Lee is super worried for me, but Baxter’s one of the best planners I know. It made sense that he became a wedding planner, and I knew that he’d go out of his way to make sure things go as perfectly and smoothly as possible. I told her to work with him, but I also didn’t really…”

“You didn’t really… what?” Sonya prompted.

“…I didn’t really think he would stay. When he figured out that it was Lee’s wedding, and that I’d be there, I just… I know him, y’know?”

“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I… thought he’d leave again.”

———————————

Two Weeks Ago

End of Summer

Step 4: Age 23

———————————

“I thought he would leave again.”

And all of a sudden, under the sunset sky, staring off into the horizon, it felt almost as if they were 18 again in the midst of summer. Lee could remember it easily — the way Rosa shed her mask and displayed her feelings out in the open for Lee, the way Lee reassured her, and the way things ended in the aftermath of it all. It felt so stupid, really, the way things felt as if it were just repeating in different sequences of events.

Before, Lee would’ve reassured her. She would’ve told Rosa that Baxter loves her just as much as she loves him. That he wouldn’t dump her unless he had a good reason to. But he did, he did, and he said he wouldn’t be back.

She wasn’t going to lie to Rosa. It didn’t matter if she sincerely believed in them back then, because Baxter leaving had shattered Rosaline.

And Lee would never forget the guilt she felt when Rosa called her, crying.

“Well… he hasn’t exactly given you a reason to think that he would stay,” Lee murmured, trying to sound casual only to wince at how bitter it came out instead.

Liz, Aunt Pam, and Auntie Lani all thought that Rosa never even dated the guy and were surprised when it was mentioned in passing. And still, they believed that Rosa took the breakup in stride because she never cried to them and never acted differently, so they were fairly accepting when he said he was sticking around after her wedding. Rosaline was hurt, but she understood that he didn’t want a long-term relationship when they ended things back then.

Lee told him to treat Rosa better than he did before, and honestly, she wants to scream countless obscenities at him. She wanted to get angry at him, to shout and scream and tell him off for daring to break her cousin’s heart. Hell, if Rosa hadn’t said anything, she would’ve dropped his ass and hired another planner. Derek had even asked her if she was sure about keeping the guy as their planner! And yet Rosa had smiled so serenely and kindly, and had reassured Lee that Baxter was trustworthy when it came to planning. How could she say no to her cousin, even if Lee was infuriated with the man?

But Lee shouldn’t lose her temper just like that, otherwise she would end up revealing all the painful details that she’s meticulously kept close to heart, everything that Rosaline had wanted to keep quiet about. Her feelings, the nights she spent crying alone, the way her heart shattered. No matter what, Lee refused to hurt Rosaline in such a way.

(And, if she dropped Baxter as a planner, Rosa would’ve been even more worried and stressed about the wedding, and despite her feelings on the matter, Rosa was significantly calmer and happier with Baxter on board.)

And, the worst thing about saying all the thoughts in her head, however, is that hurting him with words or a slap would hurt Rosa, too.

Why does her cousin have to love a guy like that?

“Yeah… that’s true.”

Lee walked over, standing beside Rosaline. She wondered what she was thinking so intently about, standing there on the sand. Naturally, it was about Baxter, a thought that made Lee purse her lips as if she had just tasted something sour.

Loosening her expression, she glanced over to Rosa before scooting over, bumping her shoulder lightly.

“What’s on your mind?”

“I’m absolutely hopeless, Lee.”

It didn’t alarm her — Rosa’s self-esteem did take a hit when she got dumped by the person in question, but it wasn’t a self-deprecating statement like before. In fact, she sounded amused more than anything.

“Hey, that’s my darling cousin you’re talking about here,” Lee said in a teasing tone, impishly poking her shoulder. “You better not badmouth her in front of me like that, or we’ll be having problems here.”

“I think you’re gonna have a problem with what I have to say, anyway,” Rosa snorted.

“You mean you’re finally going to talk about your desk at work? About time. It’s covered in fabrics and lace, Rosa. I think you should stick to dressing up people and not desks.”

Rosaline barked out a laugh. “You sound like Cass,” she shook her head.

“Yeah, and it made you smile,” Lee grinned.

“Thanks, I really needed that,” Rosa bumped her shoulder against Lee’s, a small smile remaining as she turned to look at her. “Thank you for always being there for me.”

“Of course,” Lee softened, reaching to hold her hand. “I’m always here for you… even if I think you’re making a big mistake.”

“I never stopped loving him, and I’ve tried. You know that better than anyone. I tried so hard to stop loving him, but loving him is as easy as breathing,” Rosaline sighed, tearing up as she looked at Lee with unsure eyes. “You said it before. He loves me as much as I love him. And… I know that it’s true, even if he tried so hard to keep me at a distance.”

And clearly, Lee made a mistake when she said that. If Baxter loved Rosa, then he should’ve said something by now. Especially when they have a kid together.

“Will you… forgive me? For getting back together with him?”

“You never have to apologize to me. It’s your decision on what to do,” Lee wryly smiled, reaching up to wipe away Rosa’s tears. “You can’t help who you love, but… I just don’t want you to get hurt again. I don’t want you to cry because of him, you know? I’ll always be here for you, but I won’t hold back if you call me crying in the dead of night again. I really will end up fighting him, even if he helped me plan the perfect wedding.”

“Yeah…” she whispered, crying as she smiled at Lee. “Thank you for accepting it. For being here when I need you, from when we were kids to even now. You’re my best friend and…” she shakes her head, not wanting to voice the thought out loud. Lee was the sister that she wishes she had, but she does love Liz, and Liz has always been her sister.

“I am pretty great,” Lee smiled softly, squeezing Rosa’s hands, understanding. “Promise me you’ll be careful,” she said, knowing that she can’t convince her otherwise. “Don’t let him break your heart again. Promise?”

“I promise.”

———————————

Two Days Ago

End of Summer

Step 4: Age 23

———————————

“I promise.”

“And you’re sure…?” Rosaline softly asked, holding his hands as she looked up into his brown eyes. “I don’t want casual relationships, so I’m fine with us just staying friends if that’s not for you. What I want is a relationship with marriage in mind.”

“I don’t plan on leaving,” Baxter firmly stated, expression serious as he looked at her with soft eyes. “I understand your hesitation, and for that, I don’t blame you. I truly love you, Rosaline. I’ve loved you since the summer we dated, and even when we broke up, I still loved you, and when you entered my life again, I realized that I have never stopped loving you.”

She stared at him, eyes watering before she threw her arms around him, hugging him tight with tears in her eyes.

“I love you, Rosaline,” Baxter softly says, holding her tight. “And… I would want nothing more than to be a part of our daughter’s life. If you’ll have me.”

“Really…?” Rosalina whispered, voice wobbling.

She feels him nod, “I know that it’ll take a long time to earn your trust again, especially after what happened. I’m here to stay. I swear it.”

“Can you… say it again?”

“I’m here to stay.”

———————————

Two Months Ago

Beginning of Summer

Step 4: Age 23

———————————

“I’m… here to stay.”

Rosaline pauses in the middle of her work, hovering over the half-finished dress for her daughter. It was another cute floral dress made for Jude and Scott’s wedding this time. She just needed to add more flowers to it.

“Are you?” her eyes flicker to Baxter for a brief second before refocusing on her work. “Whatever happened to this just being a professional arrangement? A done deal, where we both do our own things?”

“…despite claiming as such, and saying that we would go our separate ways after Lee’s wedding, I… never actually thought of it.”

“…okay.”

“Okay?” he repeats, and Rosaline could so easily picture the way his eyes would brighten up. She hates that she knows him so well, and that she can’t just be happy with this.

“What about Brielle?”

And it’s the silence that makes Rosaline’s heart clench.

Because Baxter is speechless. As if he doesn’t know what to say about their daughter.

She bites the bottom of her lips, feeling him stare at her from behind. What did he think was going to happen? She’s been letting him interact with Gabrielle in bits and pieces, getting him to, at the very least, be open to being in their daughter’s life.

Their interactions at Lee’s wedding were her own selfish wishes, but her daughter will always be her first choice.

“If you’re going to be in my life again,” Rosaline said, as if this were obvious. “Then you’re going to end up having some kind of relation with Brielle beyond just being a grown-up that we interact with as if we’re just an acquaintance. I want to establish what to expect.”

“Ah… I see,” Baxter simply says, more to himself than anything. “Your daughter should naturally come first, so I feel that there shouldn’t be any issues with that. I don’t necessarily think I could be considered family to her, perhaps just a family friend. If something were to happen to her while you’re hanging out with me, I’d fully understand that you would prioritize your daughter’s well-being and safety.”

She lets him stew over the thoughts, but she can’t help but feel heartbroken.

Your daughter, he says.

It was enough of an answer for her.

He doesn’t want to acknowledge Gabrielle as his daughter.

“Okay,” Rosaline shakily sighed, staring at the little half-finished purple dress in front of her sadly. “That’s fine.”

“Hmm?”

“Not everyone wants to be parents, so I understand,” Rosaline murmured, managing to mask her feelings as she turned, smiling at him. “Would you… prefer that I keep it a secret from her? Until she gets older?”

“I beg your pardon?” Baxter blinked, confused.

Rosaline frowned.

Or maybe Baxter just didn’t know?

“Baxter… who do you think is Gabrielle’s father?”

“I… was under the impression that Cove was Gabrielle’s father.”

“You… thought Cove was the father?”

———————————

Then

Mid-Spring

In-Between Steps 3 & 4: Age 19

———————————

“You thought Cove was the father?”

Rosaline, for the most part, looked incredibly unamused as she rubbed her swollen stomach. Cove looked flabbergasted at Derek, as if he had just said the strangest thing he’s ever heard. Lee, being one of the very few who knew the father’s identity and knew that Cove was part of the family, had burst out into a fit of laughter.

“If Cove was the father, he would’ve gone with me to all of my ultrasound appointments, and I would’ve scheduled them for a day when he could actually come with me, even if the thought of it made him nauseous,” Rosaline pointed out, rolling her eyes. “But I guess that’s a fair assumption.”

“What?!” Cove finally exclaimed, his delayed response finally kicking in and looking downright startled and horrified. “Rosa’s my sister!”

“I get that now,” Derek sheepishly laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s just that — think about it. Rosa only ever talks about you when it comes to the guys in her life. She’s pregnant, and now you’re moving in with her and helping with the baby whenever they get here.”

“I… I guess?” Cove frowned, brows knitted as he thought it over, paling at the thought. “Oh god… do other people think that I’m the father? Do my parents think I’m the father?!” he whips his head around to look at Rosaline with panicked eyes. “Do your moms think I am?!”

Lee, unhelpfully, is dying with laughter.

“No, none of them think that,” Rosaline explained, trying so hard to retain the semblance of patience she’s developed since childhood. Pregnancy hormones, however, were no joke, with how irritated she was starting to get even if Cove’s concerns were valid. “I told my moms that it was a one-time thing, and that I wanted to keep them when I found out. Also, they asked me if their dad was going to be involved, which, obviously, he’s not.”

Derek rubbed Lee’s back as she slowly started recovering from her giggling, her cheeks red from laughing so much and eyes shining with amusement.

“Dad One was happy for me, and he didn’t ask me about the father, but I’m pretty sure my moms already told him by now. Otherwise, he would’ve asked us about what’s going on with us moving in together with a kid on the way. Mom Three was pretty excited about being a grandma, and she already knew that you couldn’t have been the father, because otherwise you would’ve been there with me when I told her.”

Cove relaxed significantly after hearing that, placing a hand over his chest.

“Dad Two and Mom Four,” she continues, giving Derek a look, raising a brow as he smiled sheepishly. “Didn’t think Cove was the father, and were happy that I wanted to name my daughter after Gregorio. Although Nico asked, because he was just being curious in all honesty and since I was literally naming her after Dad Two, if you or Cove were the donor, which Mama Four was horrified about because it was possible, and she probably would’ve gone into a panicked frenzy even more thinking that she got a grandchild with your blood before you even got married, but I reassured them that no, it was just an ex-boyfriend.”

“Well, at least he’s less of a menace than when we were kids,” Derek snorts, shoulders relaxing from the knowledge that his parents knew the truth.

“I think Terry was the only one who asked if my daughter was yours, Cove,” Rosaline said thoughtfully. “But Terry was also the one to ask me a lot of questions about potential fathers. Liz and Miranda have never asked, but they both have this look like they might know who it is.”

“I’m glad that was cleared up, then,” Cove sighed, rubbing the back of his neck rather awkwardly. “Not that you’re not an amazing person Rosa, but…”

“Yeah, I get it, Cove,” she nodded, sharing an understanding look with the man in question. “It’s weird.”

“So uh… are you…?” Derek trailed off.

“Hmm?” Rosa looked over to him.

“Did you… ever tell the father?”

———————————

Then

Mid-Autumn

In-Between Steps 3 & 4: Age 18

———————————

“Will you ever tell the father…?”

Rosaline shook her head, looking at the vase of flowers on the table than at either of her moms. Lee is sitting beside her, holding her hand. She dreaded the question, she expected it, but the thought of Baxter had left her heart aching.

And… she still never really mentioned much of Baxter to either of her moms. All she ever told them was that he left, and they knew that she had wanted to keep in touch with him.

“Is he out of the picture?” Noelani asked, concern on her face.

She tried to contact him, but it’s rather pointless to when he won’t answer phone calls or text messages. None of it mentioned her pregnancy yet, but once she got the ultrasound, she planned on telling him that she was going to keep the child. If he still didn’t want to be in their child’s life, she’ll take his silence as enough of an answer anyway.

“…Yeah. It was a one-time thing, and he isn’t answering my calls or responding to my texts since we broke up. I’m the one who wants to have this child, and he’s going to be against it, anyway. I… don’t plan on getting him involved if he doesn’t want to be.”

Both of her moms shared a worried look with each other, an unspoken conversation happened between them. Pamela frowned, Noelani still looked concerned.

“It’s… a pretty big responsibility, Rosaline,” Pamela stated, looking at her. “Having a kid is wonderful, but it can be hard at times, especially when you’re still so young. This isn’t like having a pet, and there will be times when you have to put that child’s needs above your own.”

“I know,” Rosaline softly said, nodding. “I know it’ll be hard, but I want to keep them.”

“Well… we do know someone you could talk to,” Noelani said, thinking it over. “Your… your mother — your birth mother,” she clarified. Rosalina blinked, looking at her with clear confusion. “She had a friend before she passed away.”

Rosaline wasn’t ever interested in knowing more about her birth family. Not when she was a teenager and Liz had thrown a fit, and not even now. However, it was more for the sake of medical records that she should know, and when she entered high school and her parents talked to her about her birth family.

Not that there wasn’t really much to know. Her birth mother was an orphan, her birth father wasn’t in the picture, he knew, but wanted no involvement and had even signed away parental rights.

“While Cliff and Kyra would be able to provide insight on what it’s like to raise a child on their own, they did co-parent Cove,” Pamela said in agreement, thinking it over. “Mrs Amparo has regularly helped single parents get back on their feet or assisting single mothers who are on their own with no one to support them.”

“We will love and support you, of course,” Noelani assured, smiling softly as she reached over for Rosaline’s free hand. “But having a child can be difficult, and we want to make sure that you don’t feel alone in this.”

“Of course, we’ll help you whenever we can,” Pamela nodded in agreement. “I just want you to be certain. Are you absolutely sure that this is something you want?”

“I’m sure,” Rosaline murmured, blinking away the tears.

———————————

Then

Mid-Spring

In-Between Steps 3 & 4: Age 19

———————————

“I’m sure,” Rosaline reluctantly stated, trying not to let it get to her.

“And he really hasn’t answered back?” Lee pursed her lips, looking almost as if she had just tasted something sour.

“Yeah. I texted him, saying that I needed to talk to him about something important,” she shifted in her seat uncomfortably. “I did leave a voicemail saying that I was pregnant, but… still he didn’t say anything back.”

“I’m sorry, Rosa,” Cove frowned, wrapping his arm around Rosaline as he rubbed her back in a comforting way. She sighed, shoulders relaxing as she wryly smiled. Lee reached for her hands, holding it tight.

“Don’t be,” Rosaline shook her head, eyes softening as she stared at her phone wistfully. “Not everyone wants to stay together,” she smiles, almost weakly as she holds their intertwined hands up, “And… not everyone’s willing to take care of a kid with someone.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about doing this alone,” Lee softly stated.

Cove nodded, “We’ll both help you out as much as we can.”

“You guys are the best,” Rosaline smiled.

#wynter writes #fic: when honestly you can't recall #baxter ward #our life: beginnings & always #baxter x mc

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starlit-hopes-and-dreams · 10 months

Text

Word Find Tag

Catch up p8, June edition. Thanks for the tag Elli 💜 (@i-can-even-burn-salad)

My words: cruel, chain, cloth and color

Your words: burn, bleed, bother, and broken

Gently tagging: @little-peril-stories, @menagerie-of-monsters, @dont-touch-my-soup, and You, if you'd like :D (Open Tag)

To repay you for your patience, I am going to attempt to pull these words from the two Nykim chapters I have lol

I feel like I should just blanket CW for captivity, restraints, and torture (whipping, aftermath of whipping, broken bones) XD

Cruel Riah

Resignation flashed in Nykim’s eyes, there and then gone. His eyes fluttered closed as he chewed and swallowed, the pink tip of his fox tongue darting out to capture a stray crumb. “Thank you,” he whispered, letting his chin drop to his chest. Gods, he looked so tired. Riah stared at him, trying to figure him out. His reputation wasn’t exactly matching up to the man in front of her. Maybe it was situational, but all he had done was tease her when he could’ve been demanding, demeaning, or downright cruel. He might be the world’s best con man, but her heart twinged nonetheless. Watching people suffer had never been her favorite past-time. And it would be unfair if she offered food only to take it away after one bite.

Chain Nykim

“Answer, please answer!” She wasn’t supposed to say that part, maybe, because it sounded like she was shoved into the table for it, based on the thud and clatter of whatever was on the damned thing. The effort wasn’t worth whatever price she would pay for that. He wouldn’t. Not that it mattered because the whip came down again and again in quick succession, giving him no time. The shock of the blows reverberated in his bones, the barbs rending his flesh with each strike. Air hissed between his teeth, chain links embedded in his palms, sweat slickened his forehead, and the whip kept coming down. Leather met lacerated skin with a sickeningly wet slap. The woman didn’t appear accustomed to witnessing torture because her breath kept hitching in the background. At least she couldn’t see–fuck!

Cloth Riah

One look, and she’d had to walk straight back out. Merrick had turned and raised one eyebrow. Pushing past the rush of anxiety that look provoked, Riah’d told him she needed to clean Nykim’s back, or she wouldn’t be able to see to judge if he healed himself or not. Now, a cold sweat prickled her brow as she pressed a cloth that was no longer white to Nykim’s shoulder. She dunked it in water that was no longer clear, rung it out, and went back for another pass. The bleeding had slowed. Riah couldn’t say if that was a good thing or not. Couldn’t say if her stomach churned more from the crimson-soaked fabric in her hands or the clearly visible ruin of this man’s back.

Color Riah

“Like what… you see?” “Yes,” she snapped, “I like seeing horrible people like you in the position you’re currently in.” The smirk didn’t fall from his face, but the laughter left his eyes. “Yes, of course. I deserve–” Something shifted in his arm, something that made that awful bone-on-bone sound she was so familiar with from her hip, and he cut off, pursing his lips as his face lost all color. It wasn’t until then that she noticed the other signs of pain she’d conveniently missed before. The tension in his thighs, evident through the tight black material of his pants. The way his chest rose and fell just a bit too fast. The barely visible sheen of sweat coating his skin. This man was in agony, but instead of moaning or screaming or even yelling at her to help, he was sitting there on shattered knees, hanging from broken arms, conversing with her. Oh yeah, and couldn’t forget his shredded back. Gods, she was a terrible person. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t. I didn’t mean that.” “Yeah, you did,” Nykim panted. “Which–fuck–which is curious, considering the shit company you keep.” Riah winced.

#starlit plays tag games #word find tag #wip: shattered kneecaps #nykim collects strays and bones #i'd give you the whole whipping scene in chain but its nice and long :)#all these quotes are long #whoops

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glitxhwayventeen · 5 months

Text

The Smart One: Part Three

Yeonjun

Characters: Yeonjun x female reader

Warnings: mentions of- a fight scene, death, drinking, smoking, partying, sleeping around (but it’s all consensual so i don’t see a problem with it. But i know some people do so TW ig), name calling (but they don’t actually mean it and none of them think they do, they’re loving nicknames), crying, pining/angsty love, blood, another pack’s fight, Yeonjun being dumb basically poor baby

Author’s Note: Home sick with Covid so I figured I’d put out another chapter! Hope it does totally suck :/ it was a bit rushed on my part so I’ll end up going back and editing some things later I’m sure. I know it’s a bit slow but it’s leading up to the next chapter i swear. Let me know what you think!

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

There Will Be Blood Masterlist

The Smart One: Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

🥀

Bold- Dialogue Italics- Thoughts

Tag list- @hihello-pinky

It took Yeonjun a while to stop sobbing mindlessly so he could explain himself and apologize to the pack. And at first, the pup of the pack was really mad at him for refusing to interact with you. Though after he began tending to his wounds, Huening Kai started to think about just how bad the fight they had could’ve ended.

So he, in a way at least, understood that his brother was just trying to protect you. Which the younger boy appreciated, he cared for your safety as his friend too.

Though as the day slowly faded into night, he kept thinking about the current predicament the oldest had to face. And the more he thought about it, the more unfair he found it all. In fact, he still thought the whole situation was bullshit.

He didn’t get the purpose in keeping you in the dark about everything. He didn’t see why you shouldn’t get to decide whether or not you wanted to be part of the family on your own. He didn’t understand why he and his brothers had to live their lives only half fulfilled when all the normal humans got to go on and live normal lives.

But mostly, he didn’t get why Yeonjun shouldn’t be able to have the love of his life by his side.

For as long as Kai had known him, the eldest wolf rarely cared for anything, or anyone, enough to fight for it as much as he had fought for you the last day alone. Truthfully, he hardly even seemed to care about what was going on with his own pack unless he absolutely had to. All he acted like he cared about was the party boy lifestyle he had relished in.

And oddly enough, before the day’s incident, Yeonjun hadn’t even ever fought with his brothers before. Sure he smacked them every now and then to make them come to their senses. Sure he raised his voice at them when he was angry with them.

But he never got to the point of physically attacking them. Other people yeah, he was known to start fights with people outside of their pack. Just never within the pack.

That’s how Kai knew just how badly the whole situation was affecting his hyung. When he knocked him to the ground, he could see panic race across his face. He could see the fear behind his crimson eyes. And he could feel the internal conflict he was going through with every punch thrown his way.

He wanted his brother to be happy. He wanted him to get to live the life everyone should have the choice in living. And he wanted you as a sister.

It wasn’t even because it would mean you’d be able to help him with school whenever he needed. Or that you’d feel the need to take care of him as the only mate in the pack.

The truth was, Hyuka was already sandwiched between two sisters in his real family. He loved having them around, even if it meant constantly fighting and bickering with them. So he knew he’d love having you, one of the few friends he had ever managed to make on his own that he never disagreed with, as a new addition to their pack.

And the pup just knew you’d have the best influence on Yeonjun. Where he was frantic and illogical, you were calm and rational. Where his brother was unpredictable and borderline dangerous at times, you were steady and always comforting. Where he was cold and charming, you were loving and awkward.

The two of you were like Fire and Water. Your personalities were so different it was almost comical. But Kai knew that fate wouldn’t have brought the two of you together as mates if it wasn’t exactly what you both needed. And it was cruel of outside forces to try and pull the two of you apart.

He couldn’t stand for it anymore. He wouldn’t. He brought you two together and he was damn determined to keep you that way.

And he knew that once Yeonjun had gotten to know you personally and spoken to you for just a little bit longer, he’d be unable to keep his word on distancing himself from you. All Kai had to do was find the perfect way to get you two talking.

————

Soon, days of ignoring you turned into weeks. And soon those weeks turned into over a month. Yeonjun had managed to stay away from you for over a month, and he was proud of himself for it. Proud, and gutted for not being able to be anywhere close to you for your own safety.

Anytime he felt like giving into his instincts, anytime he could sense he was about to throw it all out the window to go and get close to you, he had to stop and remind himself it was for the best. You were safer with him out of your life now.

Even if you still got bullied relentlessly by some of your so-called classmates. It was better than getting attacked by a werewolf or put in harm's way because a hunter decided to go after their little pack again.

But he would be lying if he said his lack of knowledge about how you were doing wasn’t killing him.

So much so that he had actually gone back on his word to follow you around campus a few times. He hadn’t meant to, truly he was pretty good at staying away from you.

But he just had to make sure you were doing alright every now and then. He stayed out of your line of sight, you had no clue he was anywhere around you. He still kept his word.

He had no contact with you and so he had no idea what was happening in your life minus what he had seen with his own eyes.

In fact, the only news Yeonjun got of you was what he had managed to catch from the pup’s conversations with their other brothers. The eldest didn’t have the courage to ask for any information himself, fearing that if he heard just the wrong thing he’d go running to your side and ruin your life.

And his brothers didn’t want to tell him anything about you if they could help it, figuring that it must’ve been torturing enough to be away from you.

Even so, the oldest of the pack couldn’t help but keep his ears open for any mention of your name or topics that could’ve been related to you whenever he was near them.

So he knew you had picked up two new students to tutor because your teachers asked you to help them out. Because you were someone that cared for others.

He wished he could ask you why you felt the need to spread yourself so thin just so you didn’t let your teachers down. He wished he could ask you if you were getting enough sleep and taking care of yourself enough to compensate for the added stress. But he couldn’t.

He knew that you aced your physics exam you had been worried about because Kai insisted that he and the other boys take you out to lunch to celebrate since you had no one else to reward you for the good job you did. He wished more than anything he could have celebrated your victory with you too.

Yeonjun hoped you listened to the boys when they told you how proud they were of you. He hoped that you believed every word he secretly coached/begged Huening to praise you with because he couldn’t tell you himself.

He knew that you recently went back to visit your mother in… Kenya? At least that’s the word he thought he had heard Kai tell Beomgyu when he questioned why you didn’t have a tutoring session with him that week.

He wondered what your life was like there and if you had a good time. He wondered what your family was like and if you missed them as much as he missed you.

Yeonjun felt like a hollowed out shell. Most days he only woke up or ate because his brothers practically forced him out of bed to shove food down his throat.

He didn’t even try to attend classes anymore, something that his school had sent him a notice for. But he didn’t care, he knew his rather well off and neglectful parents would just donate some large amount of money to the administration so they wouldn’t make a fuss over it or ask anymore about it.

He no longer attended parties. He still drank and smoked, but only when he could actually pull himself out of bed long enough to light a cigarette or pour himself a drink, which wasn’t very often.

And Yeonjun definitely didn’t give a fuck about sleeping around anymore. He had even had a few of his fuckbuddies come knocking on their front door asking why he wasn’t around or why he wasn’t responding to their late night texts. A few even questioned if he was dead they were so confused on why he had just fallen off the face of the earth.

But it didn’t matter to him, he closed the door in their faces with ease. None of them were attractive to him anymore. None of them excited him anymore. None of them made him feel anything anymore. None of them were you.

His behavior was beginning to concern his brothers, so much so that they were beginning to think he was facing some sort of rejection from refusing to be anywhere near you. But truthfully he wasn’t. At least, he didn’t think he was.

He just felt like the flame that kept his hot head floating went out. He was tired and over dealing with any and everything if it didn’t pertain to you.

Yeonjun thought maybe he’d feel a little better once the pup’s birthday came around. They usually celebrated by ordering his favorite foods and playing games together.

But instead, he was informed earlier in the day that Kai had already planned on going to some party one of his classmates invited him to.

So there he laid in bed, staring at the giant digital 11:55 PM on his alarm clock, waiting for his exhausted brain to finally let him sleep while all he could think about was you.

He laid there waiting for the subtle closure of his eyelids hoping you were okay. And that your classmates would finally start to leave you alone. He hoped you enjoyed visiting your home country. And that you ate lots of yummy food and were keeping yourself healthy.

He wondered if his brain would let him visualize your beautiful figure and get to see your flowing smile again in his sleep. If he’d finally get to hallucinate finally getting to hold your hand or getting to feel how soft your hair really is when he would imagine tucking it behind your ear.

Soon, as he felt the familiar heavy weight take over his sight, he began to fantasize that he was hearing your soothing voice ringing through his ears once more.

But just as he had begun to finally close his eyes, just as his mind had finally started to shut off so that he could rest and hopefully be with you again at least during his slumber, his phone began to light up and buzz on his bedside table. Someone was calling him.

He was about to just say fuck it and let it go to voicemail. But something inside him told him to answer it, that the call could be important.

So begrudgingly, Yeonjun propped himself up to grab his phone to see who it was, and low and behold Huening Kai’s goofy contact photo popped up on his screen.

Why in the ever loving fuck was Hyuka calling him so late? Shouldn’t he have been out at some party?

He swiped right to unlock his phone and answer the call, “Huening it’s almost fucking midnight what in the hell could you possibly be calling me for?” The older boy groaned in Korean, his voice no doubt sleepy and dazed sounding.

“I-I’m sorry! I-I didn’t want to wake you!,” a feminine voice told him in English, a British accent slipping through as she stuttered in a panic, “This i-is Yeonjun right?”

His eyebrow lifted in confusion. Why had some random girl answered his phone? Why was she calling him so late? Where was Hyuka? And why did the girl’s voice sound so… familiar?

“Yes, this is Yeonjun,” He automatically replied in English, not knowing if the person on the other end even spoke his native language or not at that point, “Who’s this? Why are you calling me from Huening Kai’s phone?”

He heard the person clear her throat through, what he knew from experience to be, club like music before speaking again, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I wasn’t sure what else to do,” The girl apologized, “Kai’s very very drunk right now-” Yeonjun carefully tried to listen to the pretty sounding voice, wanting to be sure his tired brain didn’t mix any of its English words up, “He called me to help him get home. But I don’t have his address. I’d take him back to mine but the dorms don’t let us bring back opposite genders at night.”

He knew he knew your name. He was positive he had heard your voice before. It was on the tip of his tongue…

But before he could mentally guess anymore, another very familiar voice began speaking loudly in the background, “Noona wait! Is that- is it- Hi Yeonjun-ah!!” He heard Hyuka giggle as the girl begged him politely yet patiently to be quiet so she could speak.

“I’m sorry but Kai told me to call you because the others were busy?”

“Yes noona! Very verrry busy!” Huening laughed.

Based on his tone of voice, Yeonjun figured he must’ve been drunk off his ass. Which was worrying for two reasons.

One, the pup was a light weight who was naive as fuck when he was sober. The wrong person getting near him meant he was easy to take advantage of.

And two, it meant he wasn’t in control of his emotions. And that meant he could end up dissolving his contacts or shifting, at any given minute, and end up blowing their secret to a room full of random people.

“Right- yes busy. Anyways if you could just give me your address so I could bring him home I would really appreciate i-” but Yeonjun cut you off, knowing full well what was gonna have to happen.

“Don’t worry about it. Just watch him please. And send me the address. I’ll be there soon.” And with that, the older boy regretfully threw his blanket off of him, sat up, and threw his leather jacket over his tank top and some sweats over his boxers to head to the bathroom to put his contacts in. It was gonna end up being one hell of a night.

————

When Yeonjun got to the gathering of young people, his nose was immediately hit with the smell of partygoer sweat and bad weed. He used to welcome the unsavory odor. But since he met you, he learned it did nothing but give him a headache.

Walking into a less than ideal place hadn’t even been the worst part of his night that far. He also had to wake Soobin up to get his car keys. Hyuka felt like throwing up when he went for a ride on Yeonjun’s motorcycle when he wasn’t piss drunk. On top of that little lovely fact, the elder boy had recently gotten it detailed and he absolutely was not gonna risk his baby brother ruining it. Even if it was his birthday.

He probably would’ve more than likely fallen off of it anyways given the fact that the pup had probably drank so much he couldn’t hold his head up straight and had to have some random girl use his phone to call him for him.

So he had to unfortunately wake up the alpha to ask him if he could take his safer care. A car Yeonjun wouldn’t normally have been caught dead in because of the mom vibes it gave off.

Yeonjun was also still a little ticked off that Kai had told whoever it was that called him that he was the only one available to help when all three of his other brothers were at home. Two of which were still actually awake.

Not to mention he was ripped from his bed just as he was finally falling asleep and beginning to have a dream that involved you. So Yeonjun didn’t care if it was Huening’s birthday, he was gonna have to owe him big time for the night’s turn of events.

He managed to squeeze through the front door and did his best to zero in on the pup’s scent. He quickly figured out however, that that task would be nearly impossible. There was too much going on around him and he was far too out of it himself to be able to use his super powered nose properly. His other senses however, seemed to be in overdrive.

And it certainly didn’t help that he could also hear everything within the house. He could hear a guy down the hallway get rejected by a less than interested girl. Not that the guy was taking the hint in any sort of way.

Yeonjun soon found himself wondering if you would do the same to him if he had been able to ask you out. But then he realized he was being ridiculous. Of course you wouldn’t do that. You were too nice a person to try to blow off anyone asking you for a date.

He could hear all the best friends fighting outside about who was betraying who and why. He found one girl’s argument so compelling that he almost felt the need to take her side on the childish matter. Her voice was cracking and Yeonjun just knew that she must’ve been on the brink of tears.

He wondered if you would argue like her, if fighting with other people would overwhelm and upset you so much that you’d cry publicly to prove a point. Which he soon remembered was a dumb thought to have. You would never be in the position to argue with someone to begin with.

You didn’t like attention and, according to Huening, you weren’t someone who would fight with your friends. You were more someone who would fight for your friends.

He could hear all the people hooking up in the most public and odd places. Not that Yeonjun could say much, he used to do the same thing before he met you. He had actually had fun doing similar antics with random girls he would meet at parties. He liked the thrill of potentially getting heard or even caught by someone else.

But he knew that, even if he was willing to look through the mortal danger he could end up putting you in, and even if he was willing to have sex with someone he cared for as much as he did you somewhere that could end up getting you caught and getting your scholarship revoked, chances of someone as shy and as anxious as you would never agree to doing something so daring. He wouldn’t have minded though.

At least he would have had the opportunity to be with you at all in the make believe realm the sounds around him constructed in his mind.

All the pining and internal pain he was feeling from his brain somehow finding a way to put you into his every thought on the situations around him was making him feel sick to his stomach.

Yeonjun wanted to go home and go to sleep already, at least he could dream about being with you. But no, he just had to come search for his alcohol intolerant brother.

Though just as the older boy was about to cut his losses and call it a night, figuring Hyuka would just have to wait for his fast metabolism to kick in and burn the alcohol out of his system to get home as a consequence of getting fucked up, he caught a whiff of an all too familiar yet enchanting aroma.

His heart sunk instantly in his chest and a whine instantly found its way out of his lips, much to the confusion of other party guests around him. What were you of all people doing at a college frat party?

You volunteered at the library because you thought it was a fun place to be. You tutored other students in your spare time because you wanted everyone to succeed. You were a straight A student on the dean’s list for heaven’s sake. You were too good and too innocent a person to be getting fucked up at a party.

Were you drinking? He didn’t feel any different than he normally did. Which meant you probably weren’t too drunk… right? Surely you wouldn’t have accepted a drink from a stranger. You would’ve known the dangers and the scary intentions behind the gesture…right? The thought of what could’ve happened to you if you were naive enough to take a drink from someone made his stomach crawl.

Had you come to the party alone? Were you meeting someone at the party? Were you seeing someone at the party? Is that why you came?

The imprinting bond wasn’t as strong for you, if you even felt it at all given the current state of his relationship with you. Meaning you were still able to date other people and feel something, unlike Yeonjun who now found no pleasure in other peoples company because he had imprinted on you. God he hoped you weren’t there to hook up with some guy.

He didn’t know what to think. A million questions ran through his mind at once, but two kept making themselves more prominent: were you alright? Were you being safe? Yeonjun had to know.

So against his better judgment, he started following your scent rather than looking for his brother. Which ended up working for the better anyways as he was sitting on the couch in front of you, lightly giggling as you kept asking him to take small sips of water.

And that’s when everything clicked. A huge weight felt like it had lifted itself from his shoulders. You were the voice on the phone earlier.

Huening must’ve called you to come and help him because he trusted you and knew you’d come. Yeonjun just hadn’t heard you speak English before as when you introduced when you first met, you introduced yourself to him in Korean to make him more comfortable.

You weren’t at the party getting wasted or getting with some random guy. You were at the party making sure his little brother was safe and well taken care of until he could be picked up.

He could hear you lightly giggling at Huening letting some of the water you were helping him drink fall down his chin. And he swore he would sell his soul if it meant being able to hear your beautiful laugh everyday for the rest of his life.

Yeonjun felt like he was on cloud nine. It was the first time he had been so close to you in what felt like forever and there you were being your usual loving and thoughtful self.

He felt such a rush of energy, in fact, that he hadn’t even noticed he had started walking to get closer to you until he noticed a girl come over and hand your shyly smiling form another bottle of water.

But not just any girl. It was a girl Yeonjun knew. She was a mate. He instantly recognized her as Cherry, Seungcheol’s, Beomgyu’s brother’s, mate. And she had ruffled Kai’s hair and left just as quickly as she had come over to hand you the water.

“Yeonjun-ah!” Huening squealed, making grabby hands at his older brother with a happy, albeit red, face, an action that had you turning around to look at him in return.

It was his first time being in front of you since the day Huening tried to introduce the two of you. He had thought that you’d hold a grudge at him for the whole situation. He thought maybe you’d hate him or call him names. Maybe even refuse to speak back to him or be blunt.

But the only emotion he saw from you was the light in your eyes going out as they widened in horror, mere moments before you dropped your grin and tilted your head down in what looked to be shame.

Yeonjun felt a knot twist in his chest. He knew you likely wouldn’t be happy to see him again, and he was prepared to deal with any angry or agitated remarks that you’d throw his way.

Though you didn’t end up being angry or agitated with him. You weren’t annoyed or holding a grudge. You didn’t pretend he didn’t exist or run away so you wouldn’t have to deal with him.

Seeing him made you feel sad. And that hurt him more than any words you could or any actions you could commit against him.

But you didn’t know that nor did he want to tell you that and make everything worse. So he nudged all the extra sweaty bodies away from him so that he could stand near you and his brother.

“Hi Ningning.”

————

You had just managed to get another sip of water in Kai’s mouth when you saw him. You knew he was coming, he had told you very aggravatingly over the phone that he would be coming to get your student from the party he had called you to so that you could help him.

And that was your original intent. You had received a call sometime after 11:00pm from your friend saying that he was drunk and needed help getting home.

Without question you put on the outfit you had already had laid out for the next day’s classes, grabbed your keys, and sprung into action.

You didn’t want anything to happen to him. You knew he was very shy and quiet normally. You didn’t know what drinking a bunch of alcohol in a room full of strangers would do to him. But you knew what they could do to him. And you weren’t going to let it happen. Not if you could help it.

But when you got there, you had very quickly realized that you had no way of getting him home. He was too drunk to be able to remember his address.

He had no real friends around him at the time that knew where he lived either. And you had never been to his house before because you had always met up at school or at food places to celebrate good test scores.

You would’ve just taken him back to your dorm rooms if there wasn’t a rule in place about opposite sexes not being allowed in the rooms after a certain hour. Sure some of your fellow classmates snuck boys into the girls dormitories all the time. But you certainly weren’t one of them.

Doing such a thing was against the rules and you were an avid rule follower. And if your moral compass wasn’t enough to deter you, the clause in your international student contract that stated you could lose your scholarships if you were caught with a boy in your room while on campus was.

But even if you were truly able to get over all the internal alarm bells in your head that told you under no circumstances could you do such a thing for your friend, you had no idea how you would even do it.

He was so drunk he couldn’t stand straight. He was giggling and laughing and on the verge of vomiting every other second. He was worse off than your kaka was when you and your baba had to drive to get him and bring him home for the weekend during his first week at university. There was no way you could easily and quietly sneak him in your dorm without the entire building finding out.

So that left you with one last choice: phoning a friend. And, since you knew none of the people who did actually associate themselves with you knew where he lived either, you had to resort to phoning one of his friends.

You just weren’t sure which one. You figured you could try Soobin or maybe even Taehyun since they both lived with him and were friends with him, you weren’t even gonna consider Beomgyu because they’d both end up needing help in the end anyways, but Kai insisted they couldn’t help because they were busy.

In fact, when you listed off other people in his small contact list on his phone, he said most of them were. The only one that wasn’t just so happened to be Choi Yeonjun, the guy that hated you for just breathing.

And while you hated that you’d end up embarrassing yourself talking to him again from sheer nerves alone, you also knew that Kai should be at home in his bed sleeping the alcohol off so he didn’t get himself hurt.

Which is why you ended up calling the popular boy to begin with. Which you could tell he definitely wasn’t happy with given his oh so loving ‘what the fuck do you want’ attitude over the phone.

Which of course made you frazzled and panicked, even though you logically knew he was probably only saying such things because it was so late and he thought his friend was calling him.

So you resorted to speaking English to him over the phone, not thinking that he may not even be able to understand your accent or know the English language at all.

He seemed to understand, at least enough, because he was presently sat in front of you, chastising the younger boy for getting so drunk.

“Hyung, that’s not fair!!” A very child like Kai crossed his arms loosely over his chest, “It’s my birthday. I’m allowed to do what I want to do and no one should be able to stop me.”

While the small smile that had managed to find its way back to your face again at the boy’s cute antics did help you feel a little less uneasy over the situation, you still felt a range of emotions, almost all negative, that you weren’t sure how to handle.

You felt bad for your friend and for not being able to do more by yourself to help him. You felt ashamed for having to call Yeonjun, someone who quite literally hated your very existence for some unknown reason, to come and get him in the dead of night.

You felt guilty for having probably woken the older boy up from his sleep and for forcing him to speak with you when he clearly didn’t want to.

But mostly, you felt like you wanted to curl up in a ball in your room to cry again. You weren’t even sure why. You weren’t good at pin pointing your emotions, you just knew the way the elder boy acted felt like he shoved a knife through your chest. And, though it had been a little over a month since your last and only real interaction with him, the meeting had been replaying over and over at the front of your brain nearly every minute of the day since.

“Just because it’s your birthday doesn’t give you the right to inconvenience people Ningning.” Yeonjun rolled his eyes and grabbed Kai’s face, making him drunkenly follow his finger to see how far gone he was before letting his chin go and thumping him a little too hard on his head in annoyance.

Not that your friend seemed hurt by it anyways, it didn’t seem to phase him at all really. He actually found it funny and stuck his tongue out at him in defiance.

As the two went back and forth about who was wronged and who wasn’t, you somehow found the courage to move your gaze from your fingers to the party boy’s face.

How could somebody with such delicate features, no doubt handpicked by god himself, be so terrifyingly intimidating? Why did you have to think he was attractive? Why did he have to hate you? Why did life always seem to throw things your way it knows you have no way of getting through by yoursel-

Your thoughts were swiftly interrupted by the pretty boy, who’s piercing stare went from looking at his friend angrily to staring at you with… a look you couldn’t quite place as he spoke again, “Yeah well i’m sure ____ wasn’t too happy about having to drop everything to come help you either.”

Your eyes widened, not wanting to upset either of the two boys as Kai was trying to sober up enough to walk through the crowd of people blocking your way to the exit without having to be carried out.

He had said your name. He remembered your name. You had always hated your name. Back home, everyone acted as if it was too foreign to pronounce. It always sounded like they were pronouncing it with razor blades stuck to the roof of their mouths. But it was the first time you had heard it come out of his mouth and it flowed so smoothly and so melodiously that you wanted it to be the only thing he said ever again.

“N-No!” You stuttered rather quietly for someone trying to have a conversation at a frat party, yet still managing to bring both their attentions straight to you, “I-I mean, I didn’t really- It’s not that I um…”

You noticed that, while Yeonjun had started to look at you with some much earned confusion, your friend began festering a devilish look in his eye and a mischievous smile.

You hadn’t told Kai what you had thought of his roommate, and you didn’t plan to. But part of you had begun to think that he may have caught on somehow.

And another part of you had begun to wonder whether or not your current meeting with Yeonjun had been part of some plan to get you to speak to each other again considering it was all he had been talking about the last few weeks.

“I-I didn’t have to drop much to come,” you finally managed to get out, “I w-was just at my dorm. And Kai’s my friend. I-I didn’t want anything to happen to him.”

The two men in front of you dropped any previous faces they had. At first you start to think that perhaps they were getting thrown on by your stress induced stutter you had worked so hard over the years to cover.

But as time went on and no one said anything, you realized the reason they went silent was because they hadn’t been expecting such a sincere reply from you.

Though how were you supposed to know what they wanted you to say or how they wanted you to act? It wasn’t as if situations such as the one you found yourself in were common for you. You hadn’t ever even been to a college party before Kai called you asking for help.

You didn't drink or smoke, the smell of alcohol made you physically nauseous and you steered clear of cigarettes because you had asthma. You didn’t party, you were always taught that education was more important and should always take priority. And you definitely didn’t have friends to joke around with. So you didn’t have a frame of reference on how to properly reply to people.

“Hey Huening? You feeling any better? Or am I gonna have to carry you back to that god awful Kia Carnival?” Yeonjun joked, clearly only wanting to lighten the mood.

But your face started to heat up and you dropped your head down slightly, trying to help your very unstable friend stand so that he could get to his vehicle.

“Uh Hyung,” Kai slurred, finally getting to his feet as the older boy dove to put his arm over his shoulder so he could walk with support, “That’s not a very nice thing to say about ____’s car hyung.”

Your eyes widened, but you kept them straight as you stayed on his opposite side so he could safely move through the crowd of people without falling.

You shouldn’t have been surprised. You already subconsciously figured someone like Yeonjun would never agree with the way you lived your beige lifestyle.

Your schedule was as predictable as your responses. Your grades were as perfect as your attendance and your cookie cutter wardrobe. So it only made sense that your car was as bland as the rest of your life choices.

Someone like Choi Yeonjun lived life on the edge. He drank and smoked and partied. He never attended his classes or cared much about his grades. He drove a cool motorcycle and wore leather. He lived a fast paced lifestyle that you just… didn’t.

Part of you wished you could. That you could throw all your ambitions and scary thoughts to the back of your head and live a hectic lifestyle. But that wasn’t your life. You were bland and boring by most people’s standards. And so was your car apparently.

But it was a car you felt you could drive in a foreign country with little to no worry about your safety. It made you feel comfortable and that’s all that mattered to you. So you truly didn’t regret purchasing it.

It was just a little embarrassing that someone so popular and wild decided to say such a thing about it out loud.

Yeonjun scoffed at him in return, “Huening I know you’re drunk off your ass right now, but let’s try not to put words in my mouth. I was talking about Soobin’s ugly car.”

“____ has a Kia Carnival too.” Your friend defended you, even though you just secretly wished you would’ve been swallowed whole by the dancefloor you were walking on.

You hadn’t planned on saying anything. You were actually internally praying Kai wouldn’t either. But you should’ve known better.

He was drunk and said what he was thinking out loud when he was sober already. Of course he’d still do the same while he was drunk off his ass. And of course it would be you of all people he’d defend out loud to his friend who he thought was making a personal dig at you.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could vaguely make out Yeonjun’s own fox eyes becoming bigger in surprise to Kai’s response.

“Oh shit- Wait! I didn’t mean to say shit I mean I- I’m sorry ____!” Yeonjun swiftly let out, saying your name in a way that made your stomach do backflips, “I- I didn’t mean it in a bad way!” He insisted, nearly dropping his roommate in an attempt to get his point across to you by facing you, something that confused you greatly.

His tone sounded almost… apologetic. What was he sorry for? Why would he care if he offended you or not when he hated you?

The popular boy didn’t even care enough to give you basic human decency the last time you had met. So why did he seem so startled at the realization that he could’ve potentially hurt your feelings by making fun of the model of your car?

All you could think to do was shake your head to hide your blush, “Don’t worry about it. I hear stuff like that all the time from the students I tutor all the time.”

Then once more from your peripheral vision, you could have sworn you saw Yeonjun’s face fall into an emotion you could only place as guilt.

Part of you wanted to ask if he was okay. Part of you also wanted to ask what was wrong with him. But you didn’t. You figured it wasn’t your place. You were a stranger to him.

Instead, you helped walk Kai back to his car with his friend, the only sound being made by anyone coming from the younger boy’s mouth.

“Uh guys? I think I’m gonna be sick.”

(Edit: 5/24/2024)

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