#Edit: sobbing 2k notes?!

[werewolfsister]

…anyway!

Anyway!

[chocum]

KARMA !

— brat taming the jjk men feat. choso kamo, kento nanami, toji fushiguro.

WARNINGS. femdom!reader, f!reader (she/her), brat taming, cock slaps, crying, handjob, choking, p in v, riding, overstim, lingerie, lollll slotted toji out :33, recording, finger sucking. ( 2k ) note. hellloooooo hope u all enjoy this. i had fun writing bc i loveee the idea of making big strong men crumble mhmhmhm. anywaysss reblogs are appreciated thank youuu love u all. repost bc last night it didn’t show in the tags 💔 but i edited it and added alottt so if you already saw it feel free to read again !! ty

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 CHOSO KAMO

“ma— make m— ooohh fuck. wai—wait” his voice trembled so cutely that it was barely coherent, crumbling into a pretty whine that drowns out his pathetic attempt (if you could even call it that) at being a defiant little brat, making you giggle, your slicked up thumbs pushing and rubbing down on the slit of his leaky tip, sending jolts of pain masked as pleasure up his bony spine, “make you?”

immediately he knows he’s fucked up. the air between you growing thick.

he didn’t know what came over him, really. maybe he had been watching too much porn, fantasizing too much, because the idea of getting tamed by you— god, just the thought of getting put in his place, turned him on so much. so, so much.

but having to actually disobey you, he couldn’t. he believes he was only put on this earth to serve you and please you. to be good. his head hurriedly shakes side to side, making each strand of ravened silky hair jump and dance before resting to frame his flushed face, “‘m sorry didn’t me—”

you land a heavy, hard slap to his cock, the sound pounding in his flushed ears blending with the beat of his heart, making his body tense up and jerk underneath you. his breaths come out in ragged little gasps, each one such a struggle as his fuzzy brain short circuits under your warm palms.

it really is cute, you think. cute how easy it is to break him. the pretty tears that drip down his puffed-up, blushed cheeks remind you of that. he’s choking on his sobs when you move to cup his face and kiss the corners of his eyes, and his cheeks. crying and sniffling because he hates when you’re mad. hates disappointing you.

“‘m sorry, i don’t— just wanna be so good for you. i’ll be— wanna be your good boy.”

“i know,” you coo, petting him like the pretty pet he is, “wanna try again for me, hm?”

and oh, he’s nodding so sweetly, cock throbbing for you, his big glassy eyes heart-shaped, staring up. so ready to be yours, ready to be the good boy you’ve trained him to be.

so you tell him again, “fuck my fists, make yourself cum, pretty boy. and look me in my eyes.”

his hips buck up, the salty tears on his cheeks warming and dried as he uses your sticky hands like a fleshlight, whining prettily when you tighten your grip around him, “‘m sorry” he babbles over and over, drooling out the corners of his parted puffy lips.

he’s so good. staring into the blown pupils of your pretty eyes without fault, like you told him to. because you told him to.

and his thighs burn, his legs shaking and trembling against the silky sheets as he gets closer and closer. the pain almost urging him on, “are you gonna cum for me? baby? gonna give it all to me hm?”

“yes, ple— please. please, can i cum can—”

you pull your hands off him.

drawing out the prettiest whine to ever be heard. like a song of the angels. his head falling back against the wooden headboard, hips bucking up in search of something to ease the ache that overwhelms in his tummy. those hot tears making a special reappearance.

“aww baby,” you hum, feigning sympathy, massaging his warm— full, heavy balls, “did you really think you’d get to cum after that, hm? did you?”

his eyes widen in desperation, disappointment. he tries to speak, to plead, to beg, but all that comes out are broken little sobs and whimpers.

the look on his face is almost pitiful. furrowed brows, pout, and his mouth hangs open.

you bend to lean in closer, your breath so warm against the shell of his sensitive ear, “you have to earn it, baby. good boys get rewarded. brats get punished.”

for you, he nods weakly, his voice barely a whisper as he chokes, “i’ll be so good, pro— promise. please, let me cum. let me show you how good i am”

so pretty. your fingers slip down to massage his aching balls, applying just enough pressure to keep him on that edge he loves to dangle over without giving him the sweet, sweet release he craves. “nuh uh, not yet,” you hum softly, your tone both firm but oh so gentle. “show me how much you want it.”

his hips buck up involuntarily, humping the air in search of your grip— relief, eyes locking onto yours, colored irises filled with adoration. he’s completely at your mercy, every nerve and ending in his body on fire, every muscle tensed up in anticipation.

and you can see the struggle in his eyes. it’s really a beautiful sight, and you savor every moment of it. “that’s it,” mumuring, “keep looking at me like that. show me how much you need it.”

his breaths come in short little, ragged gasps, his chest heaving and caving, thighs burning from fucking the air.

but finally, after what feels like an eternity, you decide to grant him some mercy, your hands moving back around his throbbing cock, stroking him just how he likes it, “cum for me, pretty boy,” you command, a soft, seductive purr. “give it all to me.”

with a strangled, gargled cry, he obeys. his body convulsing, every muscle tightening as he finally, finally finds his release, his cum spilling all over your hands in thick, hot, sticky spurts. and he’s so obedient, his eyes remaining locked on yours, even as his vision blurs and fuzes with pleasure.

“there you go,” you whisper, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. “such a good boy.”

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 KENTO NANAMI

the tie that usually wrapped snug around the collar of nanami’s shirt adding that signature pop of yellow to his suits now decorates his flushed neck, constricting it, the tail of it clutched tightly in your fists as you ride his cock, your hips rolling and jerking against him relentlessly.

thick cum drips down to his balls, pooling underneath him, a swirl of your mess and his. he’s cum two–no, four? he doesn’t even know how many loads he’s stuffed into your warm cunt— or how many you’ve forced and sucked out of him, his cock so sensitive it fucking hurts, every time you snap back down on him sending poky jolts of overstimulation through his entire body.

“fu—fuck, honey, please. i don’t have— ngh— don’t have anything left to give. fuckin’ drained me already— can’t—”

you tug on the silky fabric, making him choke on his words, gargling on warm, foamy spit. his hands reaching to grab at the curve of your waist, but he’s flinching, remembering how you said, no touching. remembering why he’s in the position in the first place.

because he doesn’t listen.

refused to keep his hands to himself, your body begging to be touched, in his words. as if he didn’t take you seriously, just kept grabbing at you, digging his slim fingers into your plush skin.

so, obviously, there’s some sort of misunderstanding .. some sort of disconnect. he must have forgotten who was in charge.

you don’t even give him a response, ignoring the prickly burn in your thighs to fuck him dumb. maybe then, ironically, he’ll learn how to act. each jerk of your hips move to push him further to the edge, to remind him of his place.

his body is weak, just sitting pretty, twitchy, letting you do as you please, sweetly hiccuping under your frame, “hah— please, my fucking god i— i’m sorry” he’s all gone and sucked up, cock crying, drooling pathetic tears of salty cum in your cruel walls. sweat peppering his forehead, slicking the ridges of his chest, making him glisten.

“please, i’m fucking begging i’ll— hah, won’t disobey you again. i’ll— i’ll be good. i’ll be yours”

aw, there it is.

and you hum, stilling your hips, letting his cock fill you all the way up, “mhm that’s all i needed to hear. now give me onee more load. just one. know you can do it pretty boy, give it to me”

even though his body is spent, just the true definition of exhaustion, he responds, his pretty cock twitching inside you as he drags against his own warm cum in your spongy walls. and it doesn’t take long before he’s giving into you. balls so empty, just a few little spurts drooling out, but it feels just as intense, maybe even more than any of his other orgasms. “good boy”

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 TOJI FUSHIGURO

“toj’ my pretty boy” your finger draws across the pink lacy lingerie that does a pathetic job of covering his cock. poking out, leaking and drooling all over the fabric, almost ripping through it with just how hard he is, “you look so good like this”

he grunts, blush growing across his cheeks, a deep, deep crimson, turning his head to avoid your gaze, avoid your phone brightly flashing, recording him.

“so hard too, aw” mumuring, you move closer, recording every detail of how he bulges through the set you so perfectly picked out for him. the pink complementing his tanned skin so well, truly a work of art “touch yourself for me”

another grunt escapes his lips, and he’s fidgeting, dragging his balls against the bed, rutting like a fucking dog, pulling at the ropes that hold and confine him, caging him against himself, “need your ..”

“yeah, need what?” you prompt with a smile, watching through your screen how he struggles to say it, pouting as his brows furrow up.

“need your help”

theres a wicked little glint in your eyes, pulling back at the stretchy band of the pretty underwear, letting go so it snaps back against the sensitive underside of his thick cock, making him whine, his broad body shaking and twitching, muscles clenching up.

humming, you bring your palm to his face, telling him to lick, and he listens, immediately.

licking a long stripe up your warm palm, but oh, he gets carried away. stretching to wrap his scarred lips around your fingers, bobbing his head up and down, drool dripping down from around his pursed lips, letting his tongue lay flat. “look at you, so eager”

he comes off with a pop, smirking because he knows you love when he’s so good like this for you.

you press your slick fingers against his covered perky nipples, watching as he twitched, before moving to stoke him through the pretty lingerie, “don’t fu—fucking tease”

you ignore him, let him get away with the little back talk because he just looks toooo cute, eyes all big, looking up into the flash of the camera, leaking through the lingerie like such a pretty boy. all for you.

you flick your wrist faster, leaning to spit on his clothed cock, sending thousands of shivers up the nerves on his spine, making him croon, his ass raising up off the bed to buck into your palms, giving the camera such a good show.

“gonna cum, shit— i’m so close. fuck— please”

he’s babbling, his voice all high and whiney.

“mhm go ahead, baby”

with a final, desperate thrust, he’s shooting against the fabric, babbling your name as it oozes through making a sticky little mess before you’re leaning down to lap at his clad tip. to clean him up.

then you come off him, stopping the video. and tojis looking up at you through glassy eyes as you press against your phone, smiling.

“what— hah, what are you doing”

“sending it to shiu”

[arminsumi]

First request ever: Can you make a story about Gojo, where their both in a relationship but gojo had to end it because he was afraid that she would be in danger?

Thank you! Keep up the good work, I love your stories!!!

LET ME MARRY YOU

↳ GOJO さとる + fem!reader

The risk of dating you his too much for him to handle, so he breaks it off, only for him to come back to your doorstep years later and ask: "Let me marry you."

2k

Note : istg each time i edited this... the wordcount grew lol. i hope u enjoyyy 🥹💗 tysm for enjoying my work it means everything

Warnings : angst -> fluff (?) -> happy ending trust me, Shibuya arc spoilers (Ep 9), manga spoilers (chapter 221)

🍒 More from Jay : Gojo works / Gojo fave works / JJK works / oct. reqs open

The risk of dating you is thrilling when Satoru's just a teenager in puppy love. But as he grows older, and heads into those dreaded 20s, the risk makes him more and more nervous.

What if something happens to you?

He presses kiss after kiss to your forehead and feels his chest tremble, feels his lips quiver, as he refrains from telling you the truth about the Jujutsu world. Satoru just can't do it.

There are so many instances of him saving you from curses that you're oblivious about. He just smiles strangely, and you wonder why he looks like he's just seen a ghost. Because he has, those pretty eyes see ghosts. But those pretty eyes also see you, "What am I looking at?" he responds after you ask why he's looking at you so tenderly, "I'm looking at my future wife." he flirts just to fluster you.

That's at the cafe, when things are still simple. He keeps thinking to himself, as he lays with you in bed some nights;

I want to marry you.

I'm going to marry you.

Please let me be your husband one day.

As if he's trying to manifest it.

Everything is okay-ish... until he gets pangs of fright when your name starts to be known outside of his closed circle of friends.

It's October 11th.

Gojo Satoru breaks up with you.

He leads you to believe that the two of you are just "right person, wrong time". It all hurts an incomprehensible amount for him, to finally cut the string that tethers the two of you together.

He sits on the stairs, head in his hands, mourning.

He starts many mornings with crying spells that last until midday.

He destroys evidence of you and him. In case anyone ever finds it and thus finds your apartment, or work, or college... or anything.

But he can't part with a very special photo. It's you and him in Okinawa, sharing a cheesy kiss at the beach. In the moment this photo was captured, Gojo remembers having whispered some dirty joke in your ear and that's why you smiled so big into his kiss.

He drifts to sleep to the lullaby lovesongs that defined your love.

Years pass, he refuses to even talk to you. The heartbreak worsens with time, he laughs when he realizes that on his 27th birthday.

Isn't time supposed to heal all wounds? Someone said that to him once. Well, they must have been lying without realizing it.

The day Gojo Satoru is sealed, he looks into Suguru's eyes, and remembers you through them. When he resides in that awful prison realm, he only thinks of you you you you you you you oh god he misses you so much that it feels like the very thought of your smile stabs his chest. Every memory is painful. Every flashback puts one more crack in his heart.

"Can't I ever catch a break...?" He laughs to himself, chattering skeletons making their eerie symphony around him.

He thinks. Ponders. Wonders. Broods. Daydreams. All about you. Always about you. Never anything else. Just his first love, from the late spring of his 17th year.

His earthly goddess.

The purpose of his benevolent actions.

He cries. And sobs. And weeps. Because no one can hear him but the skeletons and he's sure they don't mind the sight or sound of a 27 man howling in pain over a lost lover.

It's not just your relationship that he's mourning. But the fact he can't feel you in this cube... that he can't feel your presence in the world... that's worse than the heartbreak. At least through all these years, he's been able to sense your existence. Feel the subtle ripples of your soul no matter how distant you are; you'd be stood in a coffee shop, he'd be at Jujutsu High teaching, and yet feeling you.

Because as he promised to you at 17, "Half my soul is yours. And half your soul is mine. I'll always be with you even if I'm not there."

He has the biggest breakdown of his life in that little cramped suffocating claustrophobic eerie creepy box.

It's 19 days later. He's out. He's back in the world. And he feels the sense of you, your existence, swelling in his chest, tickling his mind, prodding his heart.

"Gojo sensei, where are you headed?"

"I'm gonna go find my other half." he says cryptically.

It's a stark bright day.

Gojo Satoru knocks at your apartment door.

You open it.

He looks at you, and you look at him.

"Hi."

"...hey...? Wow. Haha... you grew into your features, huh?"

Your voice fills his heart with life.

"You too... glad you still live in the same place... I was worried you might have moved out..."

"... Ah, Satoru, you'd be able to find me no matter what corner of the world I resided in."

Your laugh fills his mind with pleasant memories.

There's an a magnetism between you and him just like there always used to be. It feels like two magnets connecting at last, after feeling the distant attraction throughout all these years of distance.

"You're right." Satoru says after a silence of just staring into your eyes.

"I'll always find my way home."

A silence ensues after he says this.

"...haha... don't cry... or I'll cry..."

"... Satoru... I thought of you every day after you left me at the station."

"... me too."

"... why did you leave?"

He stares at you.

"... I was scared of you being in danger."

He gulps.

"Me? In danger? But you're the strongest, why would it matter."

Oh god that's right. You said it then when you were 17, "You're the strongest" and he carried that title with him from then. And now you've said it again. He's reminded. He feels a bit stupid. A bit ridiculous. A bit...

"You're right..." he chokes up. "I am. I could have protected you I guess..."

"... yeah, duh."

He smiles meekly.

It was more complicated than that, sweetheart. But I won't tell you.

He hesitates. He contemplates.

"I have to tell you everything... will you promise to believe everything I say even if it sounds insane?"

"Of course. What is it?"

He inhales deeply. And instead of blurting out his whole life story of being a sorcerer in the Jujutsu world, he just leans in and kisses you hard and truthfully. Cups your cheeks. Closes his eyes. Tastes you like a sweet from his childhood that he hasn't had for years. Presses to you. Takes in your scent.

Yeah yeah... he'll tell you everything in a minute.

But for now just let him kiss you until he runs out of breath.

Let him just...

"Hey..." he pulls away, gasping, "Let me marry you."

"Haha, Satoru..." you take it as a joke and laugh, because it sounds as bizarre and unexpected as one. Then you realize there's that serious look on his face. "... Satoru?"

"Can I?"

"... what?"

"Can I please?"

"... huh??"

"Can I marry you, please?"

He looks at you and waits for your answer. His poor heart. It's palpitating. His whole chest cavity inspires with love for you. This man that you haven't seen in years has just asked if you'll let him marry you — with very specific wording.

Can he? Will you let him?

It's funny in a way, because you think to yourself; this is such a Satoru thing to do... show up unannounced years later on your doorstep and ask for your hand in marriage as if no time has passed, as if you know the full story.

"Satoru... what happened to you throughout these years for you to come back to me and ask for my hand in marriage?" you ask, genuinely baffled.

He swallows slowly. "I know I sound like I've lost my mind. But I promise I haven't."

"That's hard to believe. The Satoru I remember was always on the brink of mania. A bit insane but not quite."

You make him laugh. "Yeah..."

"So are you asking to marry me out of insanity?"

"No."

"Well alright then. I guess I'll marry you."

You make him laugh again, with that funny tone. He hasn't laughed genuinely in years... it's always been that plastic laugh. But this is his genuine laugh. Silky and quiet. The opposite of his demeanor.

"I guess I should be explaining everything to you properly... before I ask you something like that."

"You're damn right..."

"... don't scold me too hard when I tell you all the reasons I left. Or, if you do, then at least hold me while you scold me. And run your fingers through my hair like you used to."

"Satoru."

"Yes?"

His heart throbs. He looks at you.

"Stop standing at the doorway and come inside."

"Oh."

You sigh. He smiles. Then he bows his head so it doesn't hit the top of the doorframe. Damn tiny Tokyo apartments. Your archway always had it out for the crown of his head. You laugh when he bumps into it just like he always used to.

So the two of you sit down and just talk. And talk. Maybe cry a bit. Actually, you cry a lot. And he holds you. And he says he's sorry. He says sorry over and over, as if the word is a bandage he's trying to wrap around all your heartbreak wounds that he caused.

"I'm sorry."

Satoru's apologies aren't easy to come by, and when you receive them, they nurse your heart. It's the gentleness with which he says it, and earnest too. Each successive sorry means more than the last.

"My angel..."

When you call him this after he vents to you about his time in the Prison Realm, and his overwhelming duty of being the strongest, he breaks down completely and just weeps in your arms.

He sobs like you've never heard him sob before, like a dog.

Finally. At least for a moment. He could be weak. Let down his guard. Be raw. Be emotional. Not a teacher. Not a sorcerer. Just your boy. Your Satoru.

Your consolation is all he wanted throughout these years. He looks up at you, eyes red and sore, nose sniffling, and stares at you like he can see your soul.

"...Satoru?"

"Marry me."

You chuckle again.

"If that will stop your tears..." you joke.

He sniffles loudly and swallows, composing himself.

"I thought about marrying you so much when we were together... 'n I tried so hard to bite my tongue when your name nearly rolled off it while talking to my students some days. I was always..."

On the verge of saying your name.

He sniffles long and hard and waits for your hand to weave into his hair.

"Will you think about it?"

"I will."

There's a silence. Satoru feels hopeful. He lays on your chest, arms around you like you're his whole world that he won't dare let go of again.

"There." you say with finality. "I thought about it. Let's get married."

"That took you, like, ten seconds."

You laugh with him. "Yeah... I already knew in my heart when you asked me at the doorway... you know... Satoru... it's funny. When you left, it felt like half my soul was gone. And when you knocked on my doorstep, it felt like I was whole again. Does that sound freaky, or does it tie into all this... Juju... Jujutsu stuff?"

He's silent.

"I have no idea."

"Wow. My future husband isn't knowledgeable at all." you joke.

His heart flutters at 'future husband'.

"Sorry." he says, smiling softly, "My mind is blank when your fingers are running through my hair."

The two of you go on and on, until you're laid in bed sleeping at each other's side. Resting. And god, did Gojo Satoru need a good rest.

In your arms, he's no longer an insomniac.

© arminsumi

Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.

Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

[lunarheslwt]

28th appreciation fic recs: February edition

Hi! Welcome to the February fic rec list! I wanted to put together all the fics I've read and loved over this month for the 28th appreciation, so here they are! Click on the links for full tags and summaries. If you read any of these make sure to show the authors some love by leaving kudos and comments, and sharing any fic posts!

☁️To you I can admit, I'm just too soft for all of it by @starryhaze28

(28k / not rated / non traditional a/b/o)

“Harry?” Louis asks when he hears the frantic crying coming through the speaker. “H, darling what's wrong?” Concerned, Louis puts on his shoes as he keeps hearing the sobs. It’s the middle of the night and the phone call has definitely pulled Louis out of his deep slumber, but Harry is crying, and Louis has to be with him. “It’ll be okay, baby, I'm gonna come over, okay? You just- Haz you have to send me your address, yeah? Can you do that for me?” Louis asks, trying to remain as poised as possible as he presses his phone between his ear and shoulder so he can grab his jacket. “No.” Harry cries out. “It's all wrong, Lou- It’s-” Another sob. “I hate it, Lou, I hate it so, so much, make it stop.” the nesting shop au

Thoughts: the softest dearest thing you'll read, characters I would die for, a true comfort read

☁️While you're figuring it out by @silverstuff50

(4k / E / wholesome bdsm)

Harry is in a rut and his mood is getting lower and lower. Louis helps him with love and kink.

Thoughts: if you love kink, and if you love the softness and emotions that come with established relationships, then this is for you, its the perfect combination!

☁️On that note by @allwaswell16

(6k / E / pen pals, getting together)

Louis’ office job on an omega only floor would be absolutely fine, if not for the alphas he and his friends have to deal with in the building. But although they’ve never met face to face, the friendly notes sent between him and Harry in Purchasing help him get through the day.

Thoughts: this was so cute, and Louis' character esp is so endearing, and the way they get together is so precious !

☁️(drippin' on me) till my feet are wet by @justanothershadeofblue

(3k / E / watersports)

They’ve known each other so long, is the thing. More than a decade, at this point; their entire adult lives. They know each other with a deep and abiding familiarity, know each other's ins and outs, hopes and fears, secrets and kinks. There’s nothing hidden between them, and little that escapes each other’s notice. All of which is to say, Louis knows exactly what Harry’s up to, making this huge pitcher of lemonade and waiting until the lads were out the door to bring it outside and press a cold glass into Louis’ hand. He’d poured the liquid carefully, sunglasses concealing his gaze as he filled it to the top. “Drink up,” Harry had said, and Louis had, tipping the contents down his throat in one long pull, letting a few drops slip free and run down, chilled and sweet, into his short beard. He’d caught Harry’s eye and held out his glass for more. “Good,” Harry had said, voice deep, and filled it again.

Thoughts: so. fucking. hot. And bonus: the tenderness that comes with established relationship. Best of both worlds really, so it's perfection.

☁️We don't fight fair by @hellolovers13

(2k / E / chase, non traditional a/b/o)

“What, you think I'll just roll over for you now?” The smirk on Louis’ face was almost devilish. “Yes,” He breathed against Harry’s lips, cocky and sure, like it was a fact of life. It sent all kinds of shivers through Harry. God, but he wanted to. Wanted Louis to have him right against this wall, let everyone see how he fell apart under him. But not tonight. Harry fixed his posture, standing up straighter and trying to get himself under control. “I don't think so, omega.” Or: Nothing like a little chase to start off Louis' heat.

Thoughts: *muffled screaming*. Genuinely was so hot I was speechless for a good while. If that's not convincing: there's a chase. And it's O/O. I'm begging y'all to go read this.

☁️Man spreading by @red-pandaaa

(2k / E / pwp)

“Manspreading is such a bad habit,” Harry said, mainly because he felt like he was obligated to. “Is that so?” Louis said, in a tone that challenged Harry to disagree. Harry nodded as firmly as he could. “I think you should try to tone down the manspreading a bit.” “Maybe I should spread out my man instead,” Louis mused. OR Harry complains about Louis manspreading, Louis makes a joke, and rimming ensues

Thoughts: short and sexy, i loved it sm, this ones for the uh...rimming enthusiasts!

☁️Trippin', Stumblin' by @itsnotreal

(4k / M / friends to lovers fluff)

Harry was falling for Louis. No, really. He was literally falling for Louis— well, okay, maybe it was because of him. Technicalities. Or the one where Harry is super clumsy but still manages to catch Louis’ attention.

Thoughts: nervous awkward harry is so precious to me, this was so fucking cute and PRECIOUS

☁️You can try to hide by @itsnotreal

(6k / E / cnc, hunter prey kink)

Harry has managed to keep his innermost thoughts at bay when he’s around Louis, but what happens when he shows up unannounced one night when Harry’s at his most vulnerable.

Thoughts: read tags! cnc done WELL, so gripping so thrilling, so hot. The mind reading is SUCH a nice touch ahhhh

☁️Shut your mouth, baby by @larry-hiatus

(3k / E / new years smut)

While fooling around in a closet at a New Year’s Eve party, Louis can’t seem to keep quiet. All he needs to do is hold off until midnight, when Harry will finally uncover his mouth and let him come at full volume.

Thoughts: Em never misses with the smut so this is another banger, bonus: desperate overwhelmed Louis. So. 10/10 in my mind.

And that's it! Yet another short list bc I've been so tired and falling asleep before I could read sigh. Also yes literally almost all are smut but in my defence it's because I didn't get time to read long fics and short ones are usually smut. But then again we love and support smut in this house so you're welcome. Send some love to the authors if you check out any of these!!

[cafeacademia]

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞

𝐒𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐒𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: When a student in the year above starts to harass you and won't take no for an answer, you spill it all to your best friends, Sebastian and Ominis. But when things start to get dangerous, they are quick to step in.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: Reader is harassed, mentions of being followed, hurt/comfort, lots of comfort, protective behaviour, mild harm but everything gets fixed at the end, there are some light Ominis x Reader vibes if you squint but easily ignored. Only briefly edited, sorry for mistakes.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: approx 2k

𝐌𝐲 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 | 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: Hello! Here's a hurt/comfort fic for Sebastian. I hope you enjoy the extra protective boy vibes. Let me know what you think! Reblogs and comments are appreciated, but not necessary 💕 feel free to request a fic!

“Please, Sebastian, I am quite fatigued by your incessant argument about this.” Ominis sighed. “Really, I think you should be the one to admit that pastries are better than oatmeal.” The boys were playfully arguing again, much to the discomfort of the other students around you in the library. “Come on, Ominis. Hot porridge with a bit of honey is clearly the superior breakfast food.” Sebastian huffed. “Yes, well that may be very well and good for you, but I have refined taste…” Ominis spoke in a boasting fashion, which he fullwell knew got Sebastian even more competitive. While the boys were squabbling about breakfast foods, you however, were focused on trying to ignore the sickening feeling of someone staring at you. You could feel his eyes on you. There was a boy in the year above you who had decided, for some reason, that you were his biggest fixation to date and he did a fantastic job of making you feel constantly on edge and uncomfortable. Not that you had the courage to tell anyone, mind.

You could barely hear anything over the blood rushing in your ears, your heart racing. You knew he was watching, you could feel the grimey burn of his stare on you and with each passing moment you felt worse, like you could not breathe in enough to feel like you had breathed at all. “Please tell me you aren’t siding with Sebastian?” Ominis asked. You barely heard him. “Hello?” Sebastian placed a hand on your shoulder, a look of concern crossing his features. “Are you alright?” He asked, suddenly overtaken by a strong sense of unease in your behaviour. “Um, sorry?” You asked, looking at the boys, a little confused. “Are you okay?” Sebastian pressed. “Oh, yes, sorry I was a bit absorbed in my homework.” You cleared your throat, but the raised brow that Sebastian gave you told you that he didn’t believe you. At all. “Funny, I didn’t hear your quill moving once.” Ominis gave you a look that said it all. He knew you were lying too and you let out a deep sigh.

“I’ve got to go.” You said, about to clear up your things, but Sebastian stopped you. “Hey, hold on a moment, did we do something to upset you?” He asked softly. He looked at you with genuine worry in his eyes and you felt a pang of guilt for wanting to run away so quickly. With a quick glance over your shoulder and a scan of the surrounding students you let your shoulders drop as you let out a deep breath and closed your eyes. “There’s a boy in the year above. He keeps following me and leaving me notes and he won’t take no for an answer when he asks me on dates and he’s been staring at me this whole time and I feel like my skin is crawling whenever I see him.” You whispered it all out, afraid someone else might here, but with your words came tears and you could barely suppress them. “He keeps following me and it’s getting worse.” You added, struggling not to let out a little sob.

“I cannot bear to hear you cry over some oaf.” Ominis sighed, reaching over the table to place his hand over yours, while Sebastian put his arm around you. The closeness of your friends was appreciated, and you ached to lean closer to Sebastian, but you felt you couldn’t. You were just friends and even though you felt something more between you, you didn’t want to push past the already vague lines of what friendship was. “Who is it? I’ll have words.” Sebastian asked, his jaw tight and grip slightly rougher than usual, but still gentle enough to feel comforting. “No, I don’t want you getting into trouble for me. I tried to tell Fig about it, but he had to rush to London last minute and Professor Weasley is so busy I can barely get a word in and-.” “Slow down, it’s alright, we’ll sort this all out, won’t we Sebastian?” Ominis interrupted, gently taking your hand into his. “This shan’t last much longer, we’ll see to it and I promise that Sebastian and I won’t get into trouble for it.” He spoke in a gentle, yet commanding way. “Do you trust us?” Sebastian asked. “Of course, with my life.” You replied without hesitation. “Then you know we’ll sort this all out.” Sebastian spoke softly, reaching up to gently wipe away your tears with his thumbs.

Your boys, persuasive as ever, had convinced you and you shyly accepted their protection, glad that they did not question or pry on the ways this boy had upset you more than necessary. “Everything will be alright, let us take care of it. Just tell us who it is who has been harassing you.” Sebastian pressed, his hand gently soothing you as he rubbed your back to help calm you. And you told them everything.

To say the boys were furious was an understatement at best, at worst, they were enraged and Sebastian likely had thoughts that if acted upon, would probably see him straight to Azkaban.

The following days passed without much incident and for a moment, you thought that perhaps your boys had already had words with the boy who had been bothering you. But one Sunday, as you left your common room and made your way through the quiet halls towards the undercroft, you heard footsteps behind you in the empty hall. You sped up a little, not looking back at whoever was behind you. The steps grew faster and closer and you clenched your fists, hoping it was just Sebastian or Poppy or someone else who hadn’t thought to call out to you first. But then you felt the cruel grip snatch your wrist and you were yanked backwards. “Are you trying to make me jealous by hanging out with those Slytherin boys?” It was him and your heart dropped. Your stomach turned and you froze, completely unable to even muster a word to respond. “You know they only hang out with you because you let them flirt with you.” He said. You couldn’t look up at him, it would only make you panic more. “Let go of me.” You tried to sound commanding, but your words only came out soft and shaky and weak and the boy who towered over you tightened his grip on your wrist. “It’s Sunday, you’re not doing anything. Let’s go somewhere private.” He tugged you along with him and you tried your best to pull yourself out of his grip. “I’m not going anywhere with you.” You gritted out, tears welling up in your eyes as you tried to force his hand open, but he swatted your free hand away and caught both of your wrists in his unforgiving grip, forcing you to look him in the eyes. “You’re coming with me.” He asserted and you were stunned into silence.

“I believe she said no.” Sebastian stepped out into the corridor from around the corner, calm and collected. “Back off, she’s mine.” He hissed, pulling you closer to him and you wrestled against him again, struggling to get his hands off you. “You’re hurting me. Let go.” It came out in a cry of frustration and you shoved him, forcing him back finally and he stumbled enough for you to get one of your hands out of his grip. “Let go of her before I do something we both regret.” Sebastian threatened, stepping in and prying his hand off you before gently pushing you behind him. Relief washed over you, but your wrists throbbed and your heart hammered in fear as you watched the altercation. “This isn’t over.” He hissed, backing off, but when he turned, Ominis blocked his path.

“Oh, my apologies. I believe my friend here was just talking to you, it would be rather rude of you to walk off now, wouldn’t it? Especially when Professor Sharp was so kindly about to join us.” Ominis said coolly, Sebastian smirking and watching as Professor Sharp emerged from somewhere in the corner and made his way over. “We’re going to have a long chat with Professor Weasley.” Sharp announced as he approached, quickly marching the boy off with him.

“Are you alright?” Sebastian asked, coming to your aid immediately, his eyes filled with worry as he took you into his arms, cradling you against his chest and letting you cry into his jumper. “Did he hurt you?” Ominis urged, voice curt and strained as he hovered around you worriedly. You could barely get words out between sobs, your hands clinging to Sebastian’s jumper for dear life as you cried. “It’s alright, let it all out.” Sebastian soothed you. “Let’s get you somewhere comfortable.”

The boys gave up trying to ask you questions and instead focused on getting you into the undercroft so that you could cry it all out and have the privacy to tell them what you needed to. “How did you know he’d follow me?” You asked between sobs, barely able to control them. “I had a hunch, Ominis went to get the closest Professor and I turned up to keep him from running off with you.” Sebastian explained. “Merlin only knows what he was going to do if you hadn’t stalled him.” You shuddered at the mere thought. “Don’t you dare think of that. That ogre will get a worthy punishment, I’ll see to that, don’t you worry.” Ominis took your face in his hands, thumbing away your tears gently. “The least I can do is use my family name to get that bastard expelled.”

You didn’t say anything, but you hugged Ominis tightly, until he insisted that he must go and write to the highest person on the school board possible, leaving you in Sebastian’s care.

“Thank you for everything.” You sniffled, looking up at Sebastian. “No need to thank me, sweetheart, you know I’d do anything to protect you.” He smiled softly, sitting down next to you and putting his arm around you, pulling you close. “I promise, I’ll always protect you.” He said. “Just promise me that you’ll tell us if someone is bothering you in the future. You don’t have to be afraid.” Sebastian reassured you. “I promise.” You nodded, leaning your head against his shoulder. “Good girl.” He smirked, pausing for a moment before he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. Your heart fluttered and you welcomed the affection, allowing Sebastian to take your hands into his own so that he could inspect your wrists. “May I?” He asked, hesitant to touch where you had been hurt. “Of course.” You whispered. Sebastian took his time, checking your wrists and then pressed gentle kisses to them both, his eyes holding your gaze the whole time, and you felt like you might melt. “I promise, you’re always safe with us. With me.” Sebastian spoke softly. “I know.” “I’ll always protect you.” He spoke barely above a whisper, his lips so close to your forehead that his words brushed against your skin, warm and comforting, slowly sealing his promise with a gentle kiss.

[myimaginesandrp]

Unwanted Reunions

Summary: You’re not exactly the best at this superhero stuff, but you try. Everything seems to be going okay until a creature who's  not from around here crashes your universe. And that means… they won’t be the only ones to do so. 

Notes: 2k, Miguel O’Hara x Spider Woman reader

Warnings: Mild angst  maybe?...

A/N: Please be nice. This is the first time I write for the ITSV/ATSV universe. This man just has me in a chokehold rn 🙈 {Also this was 0% Edited. oops}

◣━━━--------━ 🕷 ━-------━━━━━◢

The cool breeze of the evening sky brushed against your cheeks as you slowly made your way up another floor on the glass covered skyscraper you found yourself on. Man you wished you were home. You wished you were in your tiny apartment, laying in bed cuddling with a book, or rotting your brain away with a show like you had planned. Instead  you were here, in the middle of the city, crawling up the 50th floor of some random building as balding men in suits watched you trying, and failing, to keep calm because you were scared out of your mind. The last time you had gone up this far you had almost thrown up inside your mask. As it happens, getting bit by a radioactive spider comes with many perks that don’t include taking away your fear of heights. 

Why you still tried to help people on this side of town was a wonder to you. They were all snobby jerks who looked down on people like you. People with “enhancements” or as most of the population liked to call, “unnatural freaks”. Hence why you had decided to opt for the suit and the mask. It helped keep your sanity and your normal life as “normal” as you could get. As “enhancements” went, yours weren’t so bad. You could’ve been some rando with glowing skin, or some deformed fella with multiple limbs, or like that one poor girl who had spikes sticking out of her back.  Such things happen when you mess with stuff you shouldn’t. The people you worked with didn’t know when to stop, and so here you were shooting webs out of your wrists and feeling tingles every time you were in danger. And of course, crawling up ridiculously tall buildings because you were just a girl trying to help people. 

Today people happened to be two idiots who were filming videos on a loose platform instead of cleaning the windows like they were supposed to. They were young, one blonde and the other with rainbow colored hair who were looking around frantically as the platform they stood on swung in the wind. Their camera was a scattered mess of plastic on the ground, and if you didn't hurry, they were going to be joining the scraps soon. But the farther up you went, the harder the wind pushed against you, and honestly maybe this superhero life just wasn't for you anymore. It had been months of near misses and property damage, and rude ladies telling you to mind your own business. 

The snap of a rope above you pulled you away from your thoughts and you looked up just in time to see the last cable holding the platform give out. You leaped up with all the strength you had and grabbed the rainbow haired guy, as the other held on to what was left of the support cables with all his mind. As a series of webs later and you had him all wrapped up around you, holding on as you reached for the other who would not let go. 

“Buddy, you need to let go, that thing is gonna give out!” Exasperated, you reached out to him only to have him kick at your hand, sending his shoe straight up to hit your forehead before it went tumbling down below.

“ I don't want your help, you're a woman! I’ll wait for that one guy with the rocket suit to show up”. Your eyes flashed red. There was no way this guy was for real. 

“Look asshole! He’s in jail! He was laundering money”  you yell back at him while the other young man wrapped around you began to sob.

“I don’t care, I’ll just wait here”  the blonde screamed, shaking his head. A warm puddle of what you hopped were tears spread down your back and you reached forward again only to get hit in the face with another shoe. 

“Look you can either come with me, or you can turn yourself into a puddle of guts once you hit the ground. Your choice!” You took several deep breaths and offered your hand again. This time he reluctantly reached out his arm and you pulled him quickly before he changed his mind. 

The way down was ridiculously slow. The screams and cries of the two men mixed together with the force of the wind made the whole ordeal that much more unpleasant. The last rays of the day were hiding behind the rows of buildings as you focused all your attention on not looking down.  A decent sized crowd gathered at the bottom, a fire truck just pulling into the street to help. Just as you were about to reach the bottom and be done with this mess, you felt your body go rigid. 

No, not now. You thought to yourself as your “tingles” went off, letting you know something was off. What could possibly be happening now… Your answer came in a scatter of screams from the people below. Bodies ran into one another and others pointed up into the sky. You turned in time to see a mass of colors paint the sky and a single figure stepped through. And as a flash of familiarity hit you when you saw him, so did a large creature on your left. 

The two men went flying into the ground and you were lifted into the sky by an enormous pair of wings. It took you a second before you realized it was actually a man, or at least he looked like a man, with a large beak and a set of talons that began clawing at you. Glass broke around you as the man creature flew through buildings heading towards the part of the city you knew was trouble. 

The large green building you worked at came closer and closer and all you could do was try and try to pull and jump and evade his attacks. Still you managed to redirect him towards the river. A moment later you were crashing into a large and thankfully empty warehouse. The creature was shifting and screeching in pain and you rubbed your eyes to make sure you were seeing correctly but this thing was not from around here. And if this thing was not from around here, then others would follow. Your heart dropped to your stomach as you realized you were in for a seriously unwanted reunion. 

Shaking your head you leaped up and made short work of the creature. Now that you had your feet on the ground it was easy for you to work your way around the threat. With a long sigh you finished tying him up and dropped to the ground, to check on your wounds. Most of your arms were scratched up and a nasty gash on the side of your waist was throbbing, but you were okay. You stood up and looked over at the falcon man? Who was knocked out in front of you.

“Now what am I going to do with you? Hmm?” You said as you walked around to get a good look at him.

“I’d be more than happy to take him off your hands” Said a familiar voice behind you. Your body tensed and relaxed as you turned to meet a pair of brown eyes you thought you’d never see again. 

“ Jess!” You made your way over to her and she welcomed you into her arms with a  warm embrace. “I’ve missed you so much” 

“Me too girl, Headquarters hasn’t been the same without you and your big brain” She said with a warm smile. 

“Oh I doubt it, Lyla should have everything taken care of…” 

“Not everything” she replied and nodded her head to the side. Your eyes trailed away from hers as another figure stepped out of the Shadows. 

You took a step back as your heart betrayed you by speeding up to a mile a minute. He had his full suit on so you couldn’t see his face or any emotion behind the new mask as he made his way toward the two of you. He was so tall, taller than you remembered, and his gaze was fixed on you as he began making his way towards you. His name slipped from your lips before you could stop yourself.

“Miguel” 

“I thought you were going to wait for me by the river?” Jess said as she began to play with her watch, scanning the creature. 

“You took too long,” he replied as he looked over at the creature before coming back to meet your gaze. 

“I guess this one is yours?” you cleared your throat. Your name left his lips and you had to move before your body betrayed you and did something stupid like cry. “He’s all knocked out. You should be able to take him with no issues I-”

“You’re hurt” Jess said as she reached forward and lifted your arm to reveal the gash on your side. “We gotta get this looked at”

“No, it’s fine” you said, stepping away “I’m sure it will heal very soon, it's not a big deal.” A firm hand  wrapped around your wrist as he called your name again. 

“She’s right, just have someone in headquarters look at it and you can come right back” he said stepping closer to you. 

“That’s not a good idea. I have a lot to do here. I have people to look after here” 

“Chiquita, it will be quick. I promise.” Your body went rigid at his words. 

“Yeah I’m not sure your promises have much weight to them anymore.” He winced at your words, letting go of your wrist. 

“I’m gonna let you two catch up for a second.” Jess cut in, “See you at headquarters!” she said before disappearing into a portal.

“Chiquita…” Miguel started but you took a  step back shaking your head.

“No, you don’t get to call me sweet names anymore. You broke your promise”

“You know I had no choice. I had to do what I did for the good of the universe. You know that!” 

“You don’t know that! How could you possibly know what the outcome would be?”

“ All the calculations said-”

“He was a child, Miguel! A child! I told you to give me a chance to help him and you went behind my back and you did what you wanted anyway” your voice getting louder and louder.

“You think I wanted to do that to Miles? You think it was easy for me to do what I had to?” he said pacing around.

“ I needed time” you said shaking your head “ I just needed a little more time and we could’ve found an answer”

“But we didn’t have time!” His tone finally reached yours. “We didn’t have time and he was going to destroy millions of people’s lives.” 

“You lied to me Miguel. You lied to me. You were so hellbent on doing what you thought was okay that you didn’t care who you hurt on the way.” Your breath cuts off as the pain in your side burns through you. He runs over and catches you before you fall over. In a moment his mask is gone and you’re staring into his eyes. His eyebrows furrow with concern as he looks over at the red on your  suit that is growing each second. 

“ We can talk about this later. Please, let me help you.” he pleads.

 You don’t know if it’s the loss of blood making you dizzy but you nod your head reluctantly.

“Fine, but as soon as I heal you bring me back” you say. Or you mean to say, but instead a mess of syllables leaves you.  A moment later he lifts you into his arms and as you lean your head on his chest the world around your shifts into a colorful mess. He steps through the portal and you let the heaviness of your eyelids win, welcoming the darkness. 

___🕷___

Tysm for reading :> it’s been a hot minute since I actually wrote something so I know this is gonna be a mess. Either way if you made it this far, thank you so so much for taking the time to read this ❤️

Ps. I’ve been working in this chapter so I’ll be posting an updated one very soon. Please look for ward to that!

[evernkillian]

HP Fanfiction Recs | One- Shot Edition; Part 1

Standard Rec Lists Disclaimers Apply: Please for the love of God read the tags and Author's Note/s, This is NOT the ultimate rec lists or whatever, the fics below are my cup of tea.

Also, I tried my best to make the Quotes I included spoiler free but if you think it is just tell me!

(also, I have more fic recs! Here)

🍄🍄🍄

1. r/AITA by Seagate

G | 2k Words | Hermione / Draco

Summary: A budding relationship seen through the eyes of Reddit posts

Hermione POV. Well, Reddit Post Style. Hermione's a good friend 🥹🥹🥹 Actually, most of her posts are about Harry, seeking advice on how could she make sure that he won't get hurt/make sure that he's in good hands. ALSO ALSO they keep interacting in the comments so READ THEIR USERNAMES IT'S FUNNIER IF U KNEW WHO IT IS. To this day whenever I remember Voldemort's comment I laugh. I love Hermione's characterization- she's loyal, and she takes no shit. I laugh a lot reading this because Hermione sounds so serious but it's funny. Also my favorite quote:

I don't buy it for a second. The kicked puppy look, the lost baby blue eyes, and pouty lips? I was there when he perfected it. When he used the fake remorse to get out of trouble with the professors. 

I slammed the door in his face. I'd rather get murdered, thanks.

2. Do Not Collect 200 Dollars by KittySmith

T | 11k Words

Summary: It isn't Voldemort who is reverted to baby form from the Final Super Spell - but why is Harry still alive?

Is Voldemort... cooing?

Crack fic. Like, really crack. I reread this fic when I need a laugh. Voldemort's mind is a beautiful place it's so funny. I love how oblivious Voldemort is with Snape's kidnapping attempts LAUGHING CRYING SOBBING the interactions of these 3 are my favorite parts because of its peak comedy. Voldemort as the most bizarre doting parent ever. Oh, yeah, it's a Voldemort Wins AU. He's just taking care of Harry and researching. What an icon. ALSO MY FAVORITE QUOTE:

He examined the banana he had left consideringly, checking its heft before he threw it directly into Severus’ terrified face with a flat, “Bitch.”

3. Heartbreaking Confession by LiquidLuckandStuff (@liquidluckandstuff )

M | 1k Words | Harry / Tom|Voldemort

Summary: After the war, Harry visits Voldemort's grave after a bad day with a Mind Healer.

He confesses something he is too scared to tell even his closest friends.

Just Harry having a bad day and talking to Voldemort's grave. About Almosts, what ifs, what could've beens. This fic shows that Voldemort and Harry understood each other very much. The ways they've shown it while they're enemies, while one of them is dead. Also my favorite quote!!! It's longer than this, 3 paragraphs but i think that would be too spoiler-y so here it is!

Quietly, Harry whispered a terrible secret. “Sometimes, I want to crawl in there with you."

4. Breaking More Taboos by Destiny_Of_A_Dragon

M | 3k Words | Harry / Voldemort

Summary: The first time Harry broke the taboo, he’d been beyond starving, with little to no choice. The second and third times were much the same.

But the fourth?

That’s when everything changed.

HOLY MOLY THIS FIC!!!! MAKES ME FERAL!!! It's so unique and I've reread it lots of times!!! Can't say more because spoilers but!!! If you've read this scream about it with me. Sadly I can't put my favorite quote here since I don't wanna ruin the surprise factor but!!! Just know I have a lot of them!!!

5. Lightning Heart by Clarisse (transnymphtaire)

G | 1k Words | Harry / Tom

Summary: The first time you touch, a matching symbol is left behind where skin met skin.

ROLE REVERSAL AU!!! DARK LORD HARRY GRRRRRRRR. ALSO GRYFFINDOR TOM. Also Luna's part is brief here but she's a badass I love her. And!!! Harry giving tom gifts for courting. And they're soulmates! Favorite quote:

"Did you know that Gryffindor was my old house?” Harry ask conversationally, as if they’re not under the school, with a mirror hiding the Philosopher’s stone.

“It’s why I chose it over Slytherin.” Tom answers.

🍄🍄🍄

[angst-in-space]

october '23 writing progress

words written: 7.9k

most words written in a day: 1.2k

least words written in a day: 0

current yearly total: 142.8k

projects worked on:

ya sci-fi book revisions

misc other projects (planning adult sci-fi wip, taking beta notes, etc.)

works published in october:

none

october goals:

finish book rewrites….i mean it this time i swear

update one of my multichap fics?

maybe work on other fics if i have time/energy (but it’s doubtful lol)

november goals:

write as much as i can for nanowrimo (at least try to get to 50k?)

actually enjoy writing again? :')

FINISH MY YA SCI-FI BOOK REWRITES I STFG

work on outlining/zero drafting adult sci-fi wip

finish writing edit letter for friend

work on fics??

update one of my multichap fics??

notes:

i'm gonna be real besties... i'm at sort of a Writing Low right now. i did not meet any of my october goals or even come close. i only worked on my book rewrites on 4 days out of the entire month and i think my rewrites totaled to like... less than 2k. everything else i wrote this month was pretty much just taking miscellaneous notes because i could not bring myself to write/edit. i just haven't been feeling great about my work so it's been hard. but i was also traveling (i went to seattle which was AWESOME!!) and i feel like i needed the break and to step back for a bit, so hopefully that's helped me to clear my head.

i'm (sort of?) participating in nanowrimo—but this time around, i'm telling myself my main goal is just to enjoy writing again. i feel like i've had a hard time feeling excited about writing recently, and i just wanna feel that spark of joy again.

so! one thing i'll be doing this month is outlining (and maybe sorta zero drafting) a shiny new wip which i'm very excited about!! and i'm hoping i can work on some fic too, since i haven't done that in like 2+ months *sobs*

otherwise, i DO actually want to finish my ya sci-fi book rewrites for realsies this time. i had kinda hit a wall with it.... not so much that i'm stuck on what needs to happen, rather that i just ran out of steam i think and got hit really hard with self-doubt and feeling like my book isn't good lol. but, i'm getting into the last big act and there are a lot of scenes i'm excited to add/rewrite, so i'm hoping that'll help propel me towards the end of this draft (PLEASE????).

[nicolesangel]

nothing safe is worth the drive

pairing: wanda maximoff/reader

summary: you and wanda both get hurt on missions, just for completely different reasons. what happens when your anxiety for losing each other finally comes to a peak?

words: 2k

author’s note: very loosely based off of "treacherous" by taylor swift. specifically the lyrics "this hope is treacherous, this daydream is dangerous" and "nothing safe is worth the drive and i will follow you, follow you home". i absolutely did not do a thorough edit of this so please tell me if there is anything wrong! enjoy :-)

click here to read on ao3 or read below!

The compound was quiet today.

You lay in the medbay, an IV line in your arm, your closest friend, Wanda, sitting next to you. She had been next to you all night, waiting for you to wake up, but she’ll never tell you that.

The mission was going so well until the very end. You were supposed to find the weapons and secure them and then get out. There wasn’t supposed to be someone waiting for you at the exit; your path was supposed to be cleared by Natasha. You got out with only a few broken ribs and a concussion, fairly lucky, but when you got back to the jet, you blacked out.

When you finally awoke this morning, Wanda’s eyes were shining with relief. She squeezed your hand before letting go so you could readjust yourself. She handed you a glass of water silently; you gave a small smile back before taking a sip.

“Is everyone else okay?” Your voice was rough as you spoke your first words.

“Yeah,” Wanda sighed. “Actually, there was an emergency call. Everyone else has already headed out. i just wanted to make sure you were okay before I left.”

You panicked momentarily and sat up straighter. “Okay, give me ten and I’ll be ready to go.”

“Y/N, seriously? You aren’t going anywhere. Even if the doctors had okayed you, Tony has you suspended from missions for two weeks until you heal.”

“I just—“ you pause, groaning in pain as you shift your body toward Wanda. You now realize the room is almost completely dark, light just spilling in from the hallway. You sigh, “Fine. But please, Wanda, be extra careful. They can’t afford to lose you too.”

I can’t afford to lose you, you think.

“I promise, Y/N/N. Everything will be okay.” she squeezes your hand one last time before leaving.

You are left alone with with the dark and your racing mind. You can’t lose Wanda. She doesn’t know how much she means to you. Maybe you don’t even realize it yourself until now. You love her.

——

Everything did not end up okay. Despite her promise to you, Wanda ended up in the hospital bed beside yours. But, at least, she was conscious.

Your mind is racing with concern, sadness, anger (and love). You don’t even realize you’re staring at Wanda until she shoots you a glare, a bandage covering a huge gash on her forehead. “Your thoughts are loud. I appreciate your concern, but please, just turn your mind off and let me rest.”

You don’t even get a word in before Wanda is asleep. You lay on your back and stare up at the dim fluorescent lights. Your eyes are burning, tears threatening to roll down your cheeks. You want to sit next to Wanda and be there for her when she wakes up the way she had done for you.

Your body is aching, but you don’t know if it’s from the longing or the broken ribs. But despite your fighting, you also fall asleep.

When you wake up, the room is just as dark as it had been earlier. You have no idea what time it is, but it feels like no time has passed at all. You hear rustling sheets from next to you and notice that Wanda is awake, laying on her side, head propped up by her hand, staring directly at you with a small smile (or grimace, if you looked close enough, from the pain).

“Morning sleepyhead,” she whispers.

You turn yourself to face her, as much as you can without facing excruciating pain, and give her a gentle smile back. But your smile fades as quick as it came. “Wanda…”

Her expression immediately shifts to worry, her brows furrowing as she looks you up and down. “What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

“No,” you sigh, trying not to let your anxiety overwhelm you. You begin frantically whispering, “I was so scared Wanda. You told me you would be extra careful and yet, here you are in the same condition as me.”

“Y/N…”

“I could have lost you for good…” you mutter under your breath.

“Why would you think that? You know I can handle myself and it would never go that far.”

“I—“ you pause to swallow down a sob as tears begin finally slipping from your eyes. You almost let those three words escape your lips, but you couldn’t do that. Not now. Not when Wanda, and you, were injured and emotional and clearly frustrated with each other. “I just want you to be safe. That’s all.”

“No,” she growls, and you flinch. “It’s something more than that. I know you care, but please give up the act Y/N. What is this really about?”

You end up back how you started this conversation; eyes up at the ceiling, lying on your back. “It can wait, Wanda. Neither of us are in the condition to be fighting or crying or — whatever.”

“Fine,” she whispers, mirroring your position. “Just know, I feel the same way.”

——

When you wake up the next morning, you are discharged from the medbay and were ordered another week in bed to heal the concussion. You wanted to ask Wanda what she meant — what did she feel the same way about? — but she was still passed out when the nurse came to wheel you back to your room. It would have to wait.

The next week went by excruciatingly slow. The only human interaction you had was with the nurses that brought you food and medicine. And Natasha that one day.

She brought you dinner on your fourth day. You asked her to stay for a bit; you needed company after being (and feeling) alone for a while. She complied, sitting down beside you on the bed, stealing a bite of your food, gaining a glare from you.

“Nat,” you said quietly, testing out your voice after hours of silence, “what was the emergency that day? No one has told me…”

“We must have missed some of the weapons because we caught trucks moving grenades and dynamite from the same unit. But everything went as planned.”

You looked up at her with confusion. “But, if everything went well, then how did…”

Natasha rolled her eyes, a smirk crossing her lips. “She got that cut fighting for you.”

What does that mean? you thought. Confusion swept your mind. “Nat, what—“

“She found the guy who hurt you. Cursed him out. He punched her. Hard. She threw him around a bit before sending him our way.”

“Why would she do that? I told her to be careful.” You couldn’t believe what you heard. You couldn’t decide whether to be flattered or pissed.

“You know her. You should have known she wasn’t going to listen. She cares too much to let something like that go.” Natasha patted your hand before she walked toward the door.

Just as she reached the door, she paused and looked back at you. Tears are beginning to form again in your eyes. “You should tell her, you know.”

“What?” You locked eyes with Natasha.

“That you love her.”

Natasha was gone before you could respond. How did she know? Was it that obvious? you thought, your mind scrambling for a coherent thought. And did Natasha know something you didn’t? She did say that Wanda cared about you “too much”, but what does that—

Is that what Wanda was talking about when she said she felt the same way? Did she already know? There’s no way. How could she possibly know you love her when you only just realized it yourself?

It is now your first day off of bedrest and you take time to reacclimate yourself to the compound alone. You’re given smiles and nods and “I’m glad you’re okay!”s as you walk around. You weren’t expecting company when you returned to your room.

Wanda was wrapped up in a blanket on your bed, a book in her hands. As soon as she heard your footsteps entering the room, she put the book down and looked up at you with a shy, apologetic smile. “Hey,” she breathed out. “Can we talk?”

“I mean it doesn’t look like I have much of a choice, does it?” You slide into your bed beside Wanda. She offers you some of her blanket and you take it, ending up shoulder to shoulder with her.

Wanda looks over at you, empathy emitting from her emerald eyes. “I’m sorry I snapped at you the other day. I just— I hate to see you hurting and my emotions got the best of me and—“

“Natasha told me how you got hurt.”

Wanda sighs. “Of course she did.”

“Listen, Wand, you didn’t have to do that. I was fine! Really, you didn’t have to—“

“Yes I did!” You’re cut off abruptly by Wanda’s exasperation. Her eyes are sparkling with tears as she takes your hand in her own. “I did have to. Because I couldn’t handle seeing you so hurt and him getting away with hardly a scrape. I care too much about you.”

“But why did you put yourself in so much danger when I specifically asked you to be careful?” Your voice is elevated and now tears are slipping down both of your faces.

“Because I love you!”

The room fills with silence as you stare at each other, your mouth slightly agape as you squeeze Wanda’s hand.

You whisper, “you love me?”

Wanda gives you a sad smile. “I love you. So much it hurts. And it’s so scary how much I love you because what happens if I lose you? Even if you don’t love me in the way I love you, I am so scared that one day you’ll get hurt and I’ll lose you. I just—“

You cup Wanda’s cheek with your free hand. “I do love you in the way you love me. I really, really do.”

You lock eyes with each other before Wanda begins slowly leaning in. Her eyes flicker down at your lips before you close your own and connect your lips with hers. You’ve never been so happy or scared, but your heart is buzzing.

You separate before taking both of her hands in your own and placing them in your lap. You stare down at your intertwined fingers before speaking.

“I love you, but I’m so scared too. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you either.” You look up at Wanda before giving a timid smile. “But I want to do this with you. You’re my home. No matter how dangerous or scary it may be, I want to love you.”

“I have hope, you know.” Wanda takes one of her hands to push a piece of your hair behind your ear and lets it linger. “I know we are constantly putting ourselves in danger. It’s literally our job. But loving you is worth the risk. It’s worth the pain we will experience and the anxiety and anger because in the end of it all, it will always lead back to you. No matter what. You’re my home too.”

You lean in and kiss her again before wrapping yourself around her. She wraps her arms around your waist, holding on as if she would never let go.

“Are we really going to do this?” you whisper.

“There’s no way we aren’t doing this. Loving you is worth the risk of losing you.”

You separate enough to see Wanda’s face, her arms still around your waist, yours still resting around her shoulders, your foreheads resting against each other.

“God, I love you so much it hurts.”

“I love you just the same.”

[viastro]

daisies | yoon jeonghan

ミ★ synopsis: the best type of revenge is to hurt the person that means the most to them. aka, in which jeonghan is in charge of making you fall in love with him, just to break your heart. 

ミ★ genre: angst, some fluff, some spice

ミ★ warnings: mentions of vomit

ミ★ word count: 10,089

ミ★ pairings: jeonghan x female reader

ミ★ notes: hi! i was inspired by one of my favorite dramas, the great seducer, and decided to write this! i didn’t want to make it a full blown series, so i instead made a really long ass oneshot. i hope you guys like this though, i think it’s one of my favorites thus far.

ミ★ update 8/1/21: i just edited and added a few parts to this oneshot to make it a bit better ! i added a total of around 2k words throughout the oneshot ? because the original word count was around 8k :p

The music is loud against Jeonghan’s ears as he dances with a girl he doesn’t even know the name of, not that he wants to know her name. She turns around and wraps her arms around the back of his neck, giving him a smirk. “Enjoying the view?” 

Jeonghan grins, leaning in towards her ear to whisper, “Maybe.” 

The unknown girl giggles at the ticklish feeling from Jeonghan’s lips, only making his smile wider as he moves closer to ask,

“Wanna get out of here?”

“Hannie! Hannie, we have to go.” Jeonghan curses at the familiar voice, turning around to see Chan with a frantic expression on his face, and that’s when he knows it’s serious. “Is it Minji?”

“It’s Minji.” Jeonghan removes himself from the stranger’s arms without another word and follows after Chan. They hurry out of the club, the cold spring night air hitting them as they walk. Jeonghan stops for a moment, looking up at the stars as he wonders what could’ve happened. 

“Jeonghan! Come on!” The black haired beauty takes one last breath of the night air before rushing over to Chan’s car.

“Minji, please calm down!” Jeonghan hears as soon as he and Chan enter Minji’s house. His eyes widen when he hears a loud crash from upstairs, and he sprints up the stairs fast as he can, bursting in through her bedroom door to see Minji crying while holding a flower vase in hand. Her mom turns to look at Jeonghan helplessly, and he nods his head at her.

“Minji, look at me.” Jeonghan says softly, and she keeps her eyes trained to the floor as she clutches the vase tightly. He takes a few steps closer as Chan walks in quietly behind him, choosing to stay back since he knows Jeonghan handles these situations better. “Minji.” 

It’s when she’s about to throw the vase that Jeonghan grabs her wrist to stop her, pulling her into a hug with his other arm. She freezes for a moment, before letting out a small sob into Jeonghan’s shoulder, closing her eyes as she takes in her best friend’s comforting scent. “It’s okay Minji, we’re here. Chan and I are here.” 

Chan finally walks over, resting his hand on Minji’s back as she cries. He takes a glance at Jeonghan to see him with a stoic expression on his face, eyebrows slightly furrowed as the sounds of Minji’s sobs get louder. 

who the fuck did this to her.

“I always knew Dohyun was a piece of shit. Can’t believe he’s already showing interest in another girl when you guys just broke up.” Chan grumbles to himself as he places his water back down. The three of them are sitting on Minji’s floor, talking about what caused her breakdown. She lets out a small sigh, running a hand through her hair, “I should’ve listened to your protests from the start. He was too charming though.” 

“That’s how they get you. I mean, look at Jeonghan.” The person in question chokes on his drink, turning to look at his blonde haired best friend with a furrow to his brow.

“Why the fuck am I being brought into this?” 

“He’s a charming ass guy,” Chan continues, choosing to ignore Jeonghan. “That’s how he’s able to pull in any person he shows the slightest bit of interest in. Then when he gets what he wants, poof. He’s gone.” Jeonghan chuckles, not finding it in himself to deny Chan’s explanation.

Cause he’s right.

Minji’s eyebrows furrow once an idea comes to mind, and she stands up along with the plan forming in her head. Jeonghan and Chan look at her with confused expressions on their faces, and she flashes them a small smile. 

“The best type of revenge is to hurt the person that means the most to them. Correct?” The two guys nod at her, not sure where she’s going with this. 

“And Chan says that Hannie is a bit of a fuckboy, right?” Jeonghan rolls his eyes at the term, opening his mouth to argue and Minji flashes him a look. He sighs, nodding his head and leaning back onto the bed frame. 

“What if we have Jeonghan swoop in and take the girl Dohyun’s interested in, have her fall completely in love with our sweet, sweet Hannie. Then he breaks her heart when the task is completed, so not only will Dohyun feel sad for her, but he’ll feel guilty knowing this wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t move on so fast.” Minji says with a grin, looking at her two friends to see their reactions. Chan frowns immediately at the idea, while Jeonghan stares back at Minji with an open-mouthed smirk. 

“We haven’t done anything fun like this in a while, I think it’d be cool.” Minji claps her hands in glee at his response, about to start planning the whole thing when Chan intervenes. “I don’t think this is a good idea. I understand revenge on Dohyun, but why do we have to bring the girl into it? She didn’t do anything wrong to Minji.” 

“I don’t see why not. Don’t be a party pooper Chan, just help us plan it out mm?” Chan stares at his two best friends, obviously seeing he won’t be able to get through to them. He lets out a sigh, raising up his hand as a way of saying well, get along with it. 

“Well what I know about this girl is that her name is yln yn. She’s a year younger than us and goes to the same uni. Apparently she and Dohyun were close when they were in high school, but lost contact when he moved.”

“So his first love basically.” Jeonghan states, and Minji nods at him. “Ding, ding, ding! You’re correct. She works at the flower shop down by that cat café near your guys’ apartment complex.”

“Sounds like you know a lot about her for someone who just got their heartbroken.” Minji slaps the back of Chan’s head and he lets out a small whine. Jeonghan chuckles as he watches Chan rub the back of his neck, glaring up at Minji.

“Have to know the enemy, don’t I?” She asks with a smirk. Jeonghan takes a sip of his water before turning towards Minji and asking, “So what’s the plan?” 

She bites her lip excitedly, walking over to grab her corkboard and sticky notes. Minji turns back around with a big smile. 

“Here’s what I was thinking…”

“I hope your wife enjoys the bouquet Mr. Lee!” He gives you a big smile, waving bye as he steps out of the shop. You let out a breath, feeling satisfied by another happy customer. Leaning back onto the counter, you grab your water bottle and take a sip, only to immediately choke and spit it back out into the bottle when the door chimes. 

“Hi, welcome to-” The words die in your throat when you see the man who walked in. His black hair is parted down the middle, framing his delicate, but strong features. He’s wearing a white turtleneck with a beige overcoat, making it appear as if he just came out of a photoshoot. 

The infamous Yoon Jeonghan, a senior at Seoul National University. He’s notorious for sweeping people off their feet in a matter of minutes, being both charming and handsome really works in his favor. You can’t deny that he’s the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, but you’ve heard the rumors.

don’t get pulled in. 

He runs a hand through his hair, flashing you a smile as he steps over to the counter.

oh jesus.

“Hi, I heard you guys make really pretty bouquets?” You nod your head silently, and he cocks his head to the side.

oh BITCH! You’re supposed to speak!

“I mean, I guess so! I’d say bouquets and flower crowns are our specialty.” Jeonghan lets out a small smile, finding you to be a lot cuter than he originally expected. “What’s the occasion?” 

Jeonghan takes a good look at you, analyzing your features as you look at him expectantly. He stares into your eyes, tilting his head when he sees how they sparkle back at him. He’s heard a lot about people holding stars in their eyes, but he never believed it.

Until now.

“Um, sir?” Jeonghan shakes his head, rubbing the back of his neck as he snaps himself out of his daze. You look down at your hands, feeling shy at the fact that you just caught Jeonghan basically checking you out. He grins at your shyness, “It’s my friend’s birthday soon, I wanted to get her something nice.” 

“Okay, well here’s a photobook of our recent bouquets we’ve made, as well as the customer favorites. My favorite flowers are daisies, but I personally like bouquets with sunflowers because,” 

Jeonghan listens attentively as you explain the different bouquets, and the meaning of the flowers added to them. He watches the way your eyes sparkle even more when you talk about something you’re passionate about, even letting out giggles when you look up at him with a bright smile on your face. 

“Well, I suppose I’ll get the sunflower bouquet you recommended to me.” You nod your head, typing in the order into the computer. “Great decision.”

“What time will it be ready tomorrow?” Jeonghan asks, leaning forward onto the counter. You find yourself scooting backwards from the close proximity, choosing to look busy with the computer. “I can have it ready by 12 pm, if that works for you?” The pretty boy nods his head, grinning at your shyness.

this will be a piece of cake, Jeonghan thinks to himself.

“Yeah, that’s perfect. My name is Yoon Jeonghan by the way.” You nod your head as you type in his name for the order. Glancing up from the computer screen you see him watching you with an amused expression on his face, and you raise an eyebrow. “Is there something on my face? Shit, it might be the sparkles from that ribbon...” 

Jeonghan giggles at you, shaking his head. “No, there’s nothing on your face, yn.” You raise an eyebrow again, and he smiles. “How do you know my name?” 

He points at your nametag, and you look down at your hands, letting out a small, ah. 

I… am stupid.

“Both silly and beautiful, a great combo.” Your eyes widen at the compliment, realizing you’re about to be one of the people that Jeonghan breaks and that’s when you snap out of it. Jeonghan’s smile drops slightly when he sees you look at him with a serious expression on your face, stark contrast to the shy smile you were sporting previously.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jeonghan.” He nods his head slowly, giving you a smile before walking out of the shop. You let out a breath, leaning back onto the counter and closing your eyes.

not gonna fall for it.

“It’s been two weeks and you’re telling me she hasn’t fallen for you yet?” Minji asks Jeonghan as they hangout by the bar. They watch Chan from across the club, seeing him giggling with a girl. Jeonghan takes a sip of soju, letting out a sigh as he remembers his failed attempts of asking you on a date.

“No one’s ever said no to me before, so that shit kinda hurt my ego.” Minji rolls her eyes, muttering about how you must either be blind or stupid, or both.

probably both.

“Maybe I should’ve made Chan do it.” Jeonghan flashes her a glare, turning away to look around the club. His thoughts keep going back to the first time you turned him down, and he chugs the rest of his soju. 

“Here’s the bouquet! I hope your friend likes them.” You tell Jeonghan with a smile, handing him the delicate yellow bouquet. He grins at the bright assortment, finding them a lot prettier than expected. He glances up at you, finding himself staring into your eyes once again as he says,

“She’ll love them, thank you.” You nod your head, typing into the computer that you’ve given the client the flowers. Jeonghan stands idle for a moment, and you look back at him, wondering why he hasn’t left yet.

“Is there something else-”

“Would you like to go on a date with me?” Your eyes widen, clearly taken aback by his request, before you chuckle, “No thank you.”

“Great! I’ll pick you up at—wait.” You stare at him in amusement as he fumbles over his words. “Did you say no?” 

“I did.”

“Why?” 

“I know the type of guy you are, Jeonghan.” Jeonghan’s shocked expression turns into an amused smile, and you watch as he even lets out a small laugh, shaking his head. He leans onto his elbows on the counter, staring into your eyes, “And what may that be?”

You smile, and he waits for your response. You lean onto the counter as well, watching as Jeonghan swallows from the close distance between the two of you that you initiated.

“The one that makes any girl he wants melt into putty in his hands. Then when he gets what he wants, he leaves. I’m not going to fall for it, Yoon Jeonghan.” He blinks at you in shock, and you give him a sweet smile, leaning back and taking a sip of water from your water bottle.. 

“Have a wonderful day.” Jeonghan snaps out of his state of surprise, and lets out a deep chuckle, looking at you with a challenge to his eye. 

“I’ll prove you wrong, pretty. I’ll see you around.” 

Jeonghan scowls at the memory, and Minji lets out a sigh when she turns her head to see the crease between his eyebrows. She reaches up and rubs the area with her thumb until the frown disappears, and she gives him a smile.

“Let’s dance, hm?” Not waiting for his answer, she grabs Jeonghan’s hand and brings him onto the dance floor. They sway with each other for a few minutes, Jeonghan clearly still thinking of you as he blindly follows Minji’s lead. She squints at how unusual Jeonghan’s being, and pats the top of his head.

“She’ll come around Hannie, they always do. When she does, remember the plan.” Minji says in an attempt to reassure him, and he bites his lip, thoughts trailing back to your smile as he says,

“She’s not like them though.”

“Jeonghan, why are you here again?” You ask boredly as you spray the daisies at the front of the shop, not even sparing him a glance. He freezes, before holding out an unopened boba, and you finally turn your head to see him looking at anything but you. “I got you the classic pearl green milk tea, I wasn’t sure what your favorite flavor was so I decided to play it safe.” 

You stare for a moment, finding it sort of endearing that he’s too shy to even glance at you right now. Deciding to be nice, you reach out and take it, feeling warmth flood your face when he finally locks eyes with you. Jeonghan wipes his original surprised expression off his face, now smiling at the fact that you took the drink. 

It’s been three weeks since Jeonghan’s ordered those flowers, and he’s visited the shop every time you're on shift. He hasn’t even bought flowers since the day he ordered the bouquet, he just comes to talk to you and help out in the shop. He keeps trying to take you out on a date, but you never give him the time of day. Your own boss has fallen for him, nudging your hip and telling you to “say yes to the handsome man!” You’ve never heard of Jeonghan trying so hard to get with someone, let alone drag it out for three weeks. So now you’re left wondering if he genuinely does like you?

“It’s my favorite flavor, thank you.” Jeonghan lets out a sigh of relief, and the corner of your lip quirks up. You cough into your shoulder, turning around to walk back into the shop after an awkward silence settles over the two of you. He reaches out and grasps your elbow softly to stop you, and you slowly turn your head to look back at him.

“Are you going to ask me if I can go out with you again?”

“…”

“You already know my answer, Jeonghan.” 

“Give me one night.” You don’t pull away, and he takes it as a sign to continue. “Let me take you out on one date, and I’ll let you decide whether I’m the type of guy you think I am. You can leave whenever you want, I just want one chance with you.” You stare into his eyes, finding truth to his words, and you let out a sigh.

“Okay.” Jeonghan tries to fight the smile emerging onto his face, resulting in his pretty lips quivering a bit. 

“Okay.”

“… Okay.”

“I’ll see you.” Jeonghan says, turning around and beginning to walk away. You immediately frown, “You’re not going to give me your number?!” 

“Check the boba!” He yells back, and you glance at the cup to see his number written on it, along with a message.

have a good day at work, yn <3

Biting your lip to stop the warmth from rushing to your cheeks, you turn your head to look at Jeonghan’s retreating figure. A smile breaks out on your face when you see him raise his hands in the air in victory, and you feel your heart warm.

“I guess he’s serious.”

“Hey, I’m here.” Jeonghan says into his phone, and he chuckles at the numerous curses you mutter as you slip on your shoes in a hurry. “I’ll be out in a sec!” 

Hanging up the phone, Jeonghan makes sure the passenger seat is clean. He grabs his water bottle, taking a sip as you step into the car. When he swallows the water, he opens his mouth to greet you, only to pause when he lays eyes on you.

Instead of the t-shirt, jeans, and apron he always sees you in at work, you’re wearing a pleated black skirt with a white dress shirt and an oversized argyle patterned vest over it. Feeling Jeonghan’s stare on your side-profile, you turn your head and lock eyes with him, and he snaps out of his daze.

“You, uh.” He coughs into his shoulder in an attempt to hide the blush rising up his cheeks, “You look pretty.” Jeonghan mutters, and you smile shyly. 

“Thanks, you look nice too.” He chuckles, pulling out of your driveway. “Just nice?” 

“Just nice Jeonghan, don’t push my kindness.” You joke and he rolls his eyes at you. He hands you his phone for you to aux, and you smile happily as you search up a Day6 song to play. Jeonghan sneaks glances at you, and you chuckle when you notice. 

“You’re gonna get us in an accident if you keep turning your head to look at me.” He sputters, and you laugh at his reaction. He takes one more look at you as you giggle, finding the sound of your laugh a lot cuter than he should. 

“Where are we going for our date?” You ask, and he shrugs. He takes a right at the stoplight before grinning at your question. “You’ll see.”

“Oooh, so it's a surprise?” Jeonghan doesn’t respond, instead letting out a small hum to the tune of Day6’s new song. You smile, looking out the window to take in the view of Seoul at night for the remainder of the car ride.

“So, how was the date? It’s been like three weeks since we all last hung out like this. I need updates, Jeonghan, updates.” Minji states as she flips the brisket on the grill. Chan takes a cooked piece, turning to look at his friend for his response. 

Jeonghan stares at the meat, a small grin appearing on his lips as he remembers how your guys’ first date ended. 

“Can’t believe you fell while we were ice skating.” You giggle, and Jeonghan lets out a whine, patting his rather sore butt. He shoots you a playful glare, to which you stick your tongue out at him as he walks you to your door. 

“At least I know I was able to make you laugh that hard on our first date.” Jeonghan jokes, and you give him a small smile. You’re surprised that tonight was so fun, it truly exceeded your expectations. The surprise location was the ice skating rink, to which you were incredibly excited for.

Jeonghan brought you there in hopes that he could teach you how to skate, but little did he know, you already knew how to. It ended up becoming a competition between the two of who could do the most intricate tricks. You won though, because Jeonghan literally ate shit when he tried to do an axle. 

“So, yn, what’s your final opinion of me after tonight? Am I the type of guy you originally thought I was?” Jeonghan asks once the two of you make it to your doorstep. You stare at him for a moment, taking in his handsome features. Tonight’s date was fun, and you learned a lot more about him than you ever thought you would. He’s charming, funny, kind, and lastly, you find him to be genuine. 

As you look at Jeonghan, you let out a small breath when you come up with your verdict, and he nervously awaits your response even though he hides it well. 

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” He repeats, and you give him a big smile as you open your front door. You slip off your shoes, and turn back to look at Jeonghan.

“Have to go on a second date to come up with my opinion.” You say, closing the door before he can ask anymore questions.

Jeonghan stands there for a moment, letting your words process in his brain. Once it finally hits him, he lets out a smile, clapping his hands in victory. Jeonghan pumps the air, stepping off your porch and heading towards his car with newfound confidence and excitement filling his veins. 

It’s been three weeks since then, and you and Jeonghan have gone on three more “official dates.” The other times the two of you have hung out are for some reason, not considered dates, more of you guys just bonding. Whether it be helping each other with homework, Jeonghan coming to help you at the shop, or the two of you doing late night convenience store runs to eat ramen, there’s something going on between the both of you.

Chan is able to sense something different as he stares at his friend, knowing that this was going to happen. Minji notices as well, considering that Jeonghan still hasn’t answered her question. She frowns at him, reaching out and slapping his arm. He jumps back, startled, as he looks at his two best friends.

“You don’t like yn… right?” Minji asks, to which Jeonghan stares at her as memories of you flood his mind when he tries to come up with an answer. He remembers the way your whole face lights up when food gets placed in front of you, and how you just let your glasses fog up when the two of you eat ramen. He’s tried to take your glasses off when you eat the hot noodle dish, but you would slap his hand away each time, giving him a smile.

“my glasses are just having a sauna, leave them be.”

Minji tilts her head to the side, and that’s when Jeonghan cracks a small smile, looking up at her. “No, I don’t like yn.”

You lay on your bed, scrolling through Twitter to try and find some cursed emoji pictures when you hear your front door unlock. Jeonghan steps in with a bucket of fried chicken, taking off his shoes and slipping into the pair of slippers you left by the door. He places the food on your kitchen counter, before walking over to your room and peeking his head inside to see you laying on your bed, not even giving him a glance.

“You know, if it wasn’t me who entered your house and instead it was some crazy serial killer, you absolutely would’ve died.” Jeonghan says, announcing his presence. You finally look away from your phone, giving him a sarcastic laugh before going back to Twitter. He scoffs, walking into your room and snatching your phone out of your hands.

“Hey!” 

You open your mouth to argue, only for Jeonghan to interrupt by saying, “Come eat first, I brought chicken.” It promptly shuts you up, and you stand up off your bed, quickly following him into the kitchen.

You let out a squeal once you see the chicken, opening up the container and taking out a piece. You take a bite, and Jeonghan watches you with a knowing grin on his face. You squint your eyes at him, pointing at the chicken to get him to eat as well. He rolls his eyes, grabbing one and taking a bite. 

The two of you spend the next half hour finishing up the chicken. With Jeonghan threatening to throw a bone at you, and you sneaking the crispy pieces of his chicken whenever he’s not looking. Once you’re both done though, you sit down on your couch, still a bit of space between the two of you.

You and Jeonghan have been hanging out for a month and a half now, him even having the spare key to your place while you have his. Sometimes he just randomly comes over to do homework on your floor which scares your roommate to death sometimes, while you sneak over to his at night to steal some of his soju when you run out. Other times you both just watch movies together or play video games. You don’t know what you guys are as neither of you have made a move to make it official.

In all honesty, all the two of you have done to progress your relationship is accidentally brush your hands together. Jeonghan’s just waiting to see if your opinion of him has officially changed, while you’re waiting for him to ask you to be his girlfriend as you are too shy to ask him. 

“Yn.” You turn your head to look at Jeonghan, eyes glazing over his handsome features. His black hair that’s usually straight is resting in slight waves on his forehead, emphasizing the overall soft look that he has going on today. “Mm?”

“Have you come up with your final opinion?” Jeonghan asks, reaching out and tucking a stray piece of hair that fell over your nose behind your ear. When you look up into his eyes and he sees the sparkle in them, his hand freezes, staying rested on your cheek. 

Your eyes slowly trail down at his pink lips, heart rate increasing when his tongue darts out to lick them. Jeonghan stares at you, feeling the tension in the room rise as he watches your eyes move back up from his mouth. His thumb brushes against your cheek, beginning to hear his heartbeat in his ears by how nervous he is. 

“Yn.”

“Jeonghan.”

“Can I kiss you?” Jeonghan watches the way your eyes sparkle up at him, finding himself to be the luckiest man in the world to see you like this. You nod your head slowly, letting out a breath, “Yeah.” 

Without wasting another second, Jeonghan leans in close and tentatively presses his lips to yours. Your hand reaches up, entangling your fingers into his hair. He pulls away, just to capture your lips again after a second of staring, slowly leaning you back until you’re laying on the couch. 

i don’t like her. i don’t like yn. Jeonghan mutters in his brain like a mantra the more he kisses you. His hand lowers to your hip, squeezing it slightly when you tug on his hair again. He hears his heartbeat in his ears, tingles in his stomach when you slightly suck on his bottom lip.

i don’t like her. this is a game. this is for minji.

“Be my girlfriend?” Jeonghan whispers against your lips in between kisses, completely ignoring what the voices in his head are saying. You pull away, looking at him with wide eyes, but his gaze is focused on your pretty swollen lips. 

“Did you just?” He glances up into your eyes, and he lets out a small smile. A giggle comes out of you, and you raise a hand to your warm face. 

“Yeah, I’ll be your girlfriend, Hannie.” Jeonghan bites his lip as a grin breaks out onto his face, before leaning back down and kissing you breathless again.

if i didn’t like her, then why do i feel like this? why do i wanna kiss her more, why do i only want to kiss her, why do i not want her kissing anyone else like this?

why does it feel like this isn’t just some game anymore?

“You’re crazy.” 

“Says the one who tried to duct tape their friend to the wall once.”

“Okay, in my defense,” You stare at Jeonghan across the table, giving him an amused smile as you wait for him to continue. “Chan let me duct tape him to the wall. It was a joint effort yn.” 

You roll your eyes, reaching out and hitting his shoulder lightly, before taking a sip of your boba. Jeonghan smiles at the sparkle in your eyes, taking note that the sunlight hitting your skin is as beautiful as the cherry blossoms blooming in the spring. 

 It’s been two months since you and Jeonghan have called it official, three and a half months since the day you guys met, and the two of you have become the talk of your guys’ university. Everyone who knows Jeonghan as the guy who never settles, has finally settled. You’re in the limelight as well, girls either being envious or worried for you, and guys nodding their heads in approval at Jeonghan’s decision. 

“You’re really pretty like this.” Your eyes widen in surprise at the sudden compliment, beginning to feel shy by Jeonghan’s stare. You look down at your drink, small smile taking over your features. “Like what?”

“Happy. You look pretty when you’re happy.” Jeonghan mutters softly, eyes holding an emotion that is indecipherable to you. 

But it’s easy to read for Chan as he stares at the two of you from across the café. He shakes his head in disappointment, knowing that Jeonghan’s going to have to tell you one day. Chan watches as Jeonghan reaches out and rests his hand over yours, a happy smile forming on his face when you make a joke. 

i haven’t seen him this happy with another girl in a long time, Chan thinks to himself, taking one last sip of his boba. He walks over to the exit, throwing his cup in the trash. He takes one more glance at the two of you, now finding you excitedly telling Jeonghan a story of who knows what. 

All Chan knows is that you’re happy, and Jeonghan’s happy, but it’s going to be taken away as soon as you find out the truth. 

“Jeonghan, when are you going to end things with yn? It’s been over three months since you two became ‘official’, I’m pretty sure she’s already head over heels for you.” Minji asks from her couch. She blows on her newly painted nails, making sure they dry properly. Chan shoots the striped ball into the pocket, taking note of the way Jeonghan visibly stiffens after the question is asked. 

“She’s not head over heels.” Jeonghan answers, nodding his head once Chan misses the next striped ball. He leans down, getting ready to hit a solid. “Are you sure that’s it? Or have you forgotten our fucking plan?” 

Jeonghan pauses, turning his head to look at Minji, only to find her glaring at him. Chan lets out a small sigh, pulling out his phone to try and distract himself as the tension in the room rises. Jeonghan rolls his eyes, turning back towards the pool table. 

“You’re supposed to make yn fall in love with you, and then break her heart so that Dohyun feels horrible. Did you forget that because you think she’s some good fuck?” Jeonghan slams the pool stick down on the table, actively startling Minji and Chan. “You know that yn hasn’t even mentioned Dohyun since I first started talking to her? He hasn’t tried to see her either, you know that? It makes me wonder why you even decided to target yn in the first place.” Jeonghan says, turning his head to see Minji’s reaction. He watches as her demeanor shifts slightly, suddenly appearing to look guilty, and he squints at her. Jeonghan pushes off the pool table and walks over to Minji so that he’s standing a few feet from her.

“And don’t you ever degrade yn to just being a good fuck again.” Minji blinks up at Jeonghan, not used to having his anger directed towards her. Her initial shock shortly turns into rage. Laughing, she stands up off the couch to stand her ground. “What a joke, you fucking fell for her didn’t you?” 

Jeonghan turns away, clenching his fists as he stares out Minji’s window. Chan watches from the pool table, feeling wracked by nerves as he watches his two best friends argue for the first time ever. 

“Yoon Jeonghan, the man at Seoul National University who was unattainable. The one who was called cold hearted because he’d break the hearts of people left and right, has developed feelings for the pawn in our game.” Minji sneers, now staring at Jeonghan with an amused look on her face. He finally turns and stares directly down into Minji’s eyes, feeling anger flood through him. 

“And what about it?” Minji’s mouth drops open slightly, having not expected him to confess. Chan stares between the two of them, afraid of the tension rising in the room. “W-What?”

“I’m in love with yn. She’s witty, intelligent, funny, kind, beautiful; if you made a list of all the good traits in the ideal person then that’s yn’s description. I’m not going to play her like that, she’s no longer just a game. And I’m not going to be a pawn in your revenge plot anymore either.” Jeonghan states, before turning around to go and grab his phone. Minji reaches out and grabs his arm, but he doesn’t look back.

“You think she’s going to forgive you when she finds out?” 

The room stays silent for a moment, and Minji thinks she’s won from the way Jeonghan’s staring at the floor. Her heartbeat picks up when Jeonghan rips his arm from her grasp, turning to glance at her. 

“No, and I hope she won’t ever forgive me when she finds out. Yn deserves someone better than me. Someone who won’t blindly follow their friend and purposefully hurt a girl who didn’t do anything to be involved in this.” Jeonghan states, and Chan bites the inside of his cheek, looking down at the floor.

“I’m a horrible, selfish person for what I have done to yn, but I’m going to do at least one thing right and tell yn the truth, myself.” Jeonghan explains, before turning and walking towards the door, raising his hand up to grab the door handle.

“If you walk out that door we’re no longer friends, Jeonghan.” Minji threatens in one last weak attempt to get Jeonghan to stay, feeling afraid that she’s about to lose him. That she no longer has the control she once had over her best friend. Jeonghan stills for a moment, before grabbing the door handle and ripping the door open, shutting it directly behind him. The slam of the door echoes through the room, a sense of finality settling itself upon Minji and Chan.

“Fuck.” 

You hum quietly as you tend to the orchids, finding the blue ones to be incredibly pretty on this sunny day. The sound of the door chime rings throughout the shop, and you turn your head to greet the incoming customer.

“Hi! Welcome to Bloom Bloo-”

“Yn?” Your eyes widen when you recognize your old friend, immediately breaking out into a smile as you stand up at your full height to wave at him.

“Dohyun! What are you doing here?” You ask as you walk over towards him, and he gives you a grin as he opens his arms and pulls you into his embrace. Your eyes widen slightly at the skinship, having briefly forgotten how Dohyun shows his love as you tentatively wrap your arms around him, patting his back.

“I came to order a burger and fries, actually.” Dohyun answers when he pulls away, and you squint at the man, pushing him with your hand as you walk over to the register, listening to him laugh that contagious laugh of his from behind you.

“Haha, funny.” You say, trying to fight back the smile that’s threatening to break out onto your face. Dohyun catches it though, and giggles to himself. “Based on the smile you’re fighting, I can see that you hold some truth behind that statement.”

You shake your head, turning back towards your friend and getting a good look at him. His brown hair is parted to the side, showing off his forehead and nice eyebrows. He’s wearing a brown hoodie with a black puffer jacket over it, and you purse your lips, wondering why it seems like he put in a bit more effort into his appearance.

“Are you checking me out, yn?” Dohyun asks with a teasing grin, and you roll your eyes. You open your mouth to respond, only to pause when you hear a familiar voice ring through the shop.

“You better be talking about a bouquet of flowers.” You and Dohyun look towards the entrance to see Jeonghan standing there, frown on his face. He squints when he locks eyes with Dohyun, and the brunette raises an eyebrow when he recognizes the man.

“Jeonghan?”

“Hannie, with how much you come into the shop, you should just apply for a job here.” You joke, watching as Jeonghan’s features immediately soften slightly when he looks over at you. He lets out a small smile, shaking his head at you.

“I wouldn’t be able to bring in as many customers as you, anyways.” Jeonghan tells you, walking over and patting your head over the counter. You grin, grabbing one of the daisy flower crowns you made in the morning and placing it over Jeonghan’s head. Dohyun glances between the two of you, and he finds himself squinting at Jeonghan when he remembers his reputation on campus.

“You two are dating?” Dohyun asks, and you nod your head.

“For a bit over four months now.” Jeonghan adds, feeling his heart thump against his chest as Dohyun stares at him with a hint of suspicion in his gaze. The brunette simply turns back towards you, and gives you a smile.

“I’m happy for you, yn. You’ve been single for as long as I can remem-” Dohyun sputters when you spray him with the spray bottle full of water, and Jeonghan bites back the laugh that almost escapes him. Dohyun wipes his eyes and shoots you a glare, making you giggle a bit.

“Yn! I have a date in an hour, don’t ruin my hair.” Dohyun whines, and you laugh, “Then don’t boast about how lonely I was!”

A frown forms on Jeonghan’s face as he watches you and Dohyun begin to discuss the numerous bouquet options he can choose from for his upcoming date. The memory of Minji saying that you were the one Dohyun was showing interest in plays in his mind, and he bites the inside of his cheek, wondering if that was even true.

“Take care of those, I made that bouquet this morning!” You say, breaking Jeonghan out of his thoughts as Dohyun carefully takes the arrangement of flowers from your grasp. He nods his head, “Careful is my middle name.”

“Yeah, yeah. Have fun on your date!” You tell Dohyun, and he smiles, nodding his head. It comes to Jeonghan’s surprise when Dohyun turns to him, gesturing towards the door.

“Can you get the door for me, man?” Jeonghan nods his head, walking over and pushing open the door for him. The brunette smiles, walking through the door, but stopping to quietly mutter,

“I know how your trio used to do things in high school, and I know that Minji was upset when I ended things. I only broke up with her because I learned of the type of people you guys are. This better not be one of your trio’s games, because yn doesn’t deserve that. And if it is, then end it now.”

Jeonghan stands frozen as Dohyun gives him one more smile and sends a wave towards you, before walking out the door. You tilt your head at your boyfriend, wondering why he looks so guilty as he stares down at the ground.

“Jeonghan? Are you okay?” You ask, seemingly breaking him out of his daze. Jeonghan looks back towards you, giving you a smile as he walks over. “Did Dohyun say something? He’s always been protective, even when we were younger.”

Jeonghan shakes his head at you, reaching out across the counter and taking a hold of your hand. You raise an eyebrow, watching as Jeonghan cups your hand within both of his.

“What’s on your mind, Hannie?”

“Are you free tomorrow?” Jeonghan asks instead, and you stare at him in silence for a moment. You let out a small giggle, shaking your head and reaching out with your free hand, patting the top of his head, the delicate petal of one of the daisies brushing against your wrist.

“Were you nervous about asking me on a date? That’s so cute, but yes. I should be free tomorrow.” Jeonghan gives you a smile, and you find that it doesn’t really reach his eyes as he stares at you.

“Great. I’ll meet you at the bus stop tomorrow, okay?” Jeonghan asks, and you nod your head, warmth flooding your face as you stare at your boyfriend. Jeonghan bites the inside of his cheek from the stars in your eyes, wondering how he’ll ever be able to tell you the truth. He lets go of your hand after pressing a soft kiss to the back of it, turning and walking towards the doors, but stopping to glance back at you.

“See you, pretty.” Jeonghan tells you, and you smile at the nickname.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jeonghan!” He grins, pushing open the glass doors and walking out of the shop. The smile on his face falls once he’s far from the flower shop, and he takes a deep inhale of the Summer air, the daisy flower crown resting over his head suddenly feeling heavy. Finding that it resembles the weight of his heart as he knows that everything’s about to be broken.

one day. i just want to spend one last day with yn.

You sit on the bench by the bus stop, waiting for Jeonghan to arrive so the two of you can go to the aquarium. You unlock your phone to see if there’s a new message from him, only to see no new notifications. 

“I know the feeling.” You jump up, turning towards the voice to find a pretty girl standing beside you. Her brown hair falls in waves down her shoulders, and she’s wearing an off the shoulder floral top paired with a beige skirt. You tilt your head to the side, finding her rather familiar.

“Hi yn. I’m Minji, Jeonghan’s friend.” She introduces, and you have to stop yourself from letting out an ohhh because now you recognize her. “Oh, hi Minji.” You reach out and shake her hand, giving her a smile. 

“Are you waiting for the bus?” You ask, and she shakes her head, letting out a small laugh. “I drove. In all honesty, I came to pick you up.”

You raise your eyebrows in surprise, having no clue as to where you’d even go since you haven’t met Minji before. She gives you a smile, “Jeonghan told me to come get you because he’s running a bit late due to Chan being silly, per usual. He said he’ll come pick you up at my house.” 

“He did?” 

“You don’t believe me?” You immediately raise your hands up to tell her you didn’t mean to imply that she’s a liar, but Minji stops you right away while giggling at your antics. “I was kidding yn, don’t worry. Now, do you want to come hangout at my house or do you want to wait here by the bus stop?” 

You stare at her for a moment, before letting out a small smile. “I think there’s an obvious answer to that question.” 

“Wow! Your house is so nice.” You state as you stare in awe at all the beautiful artworks put on display. Minji waves her hand at you, telling you not to flatter her so much. You follow her up to her room, still looking around with child-like fascination.

damn, this almost makes me feel bad. she’s kinda sweet. Minji thinks to herself as the two of you finally make it up to her room. She places her bag down by her bed, removing the earrings from her ears. You stand shyly by the door, unsure of where to sit, or if you’re even allowed to sit. Minji turns towards you with a grin on her face. 

“You can sit over there yn.” She tells you, pointing over towards the small couch in the corner by her desk. You nod, walking over to go and sit down, only to pause once you see a corkboard laying on her desk. 

“I’m going to use the restroom, be right back.” Minji announces, a smile on her face when she sees you staring at the board. She walks out of the room, pulling her phone out of her pocket to call Jeonghan. 

“What?” Jeonghan answers as he heads towards the bus stop where you’re waiting. He lets out a soft smile down at the lavender daisies he bought on his way, planning to surprise you with them since they’re your favorite flower. He remembers the small box in his room, a gift he plans to give you after you guys get back from the aquarium. “Just wanted to let you know that you should probably turn around and head over to my house.”

Your hand slowly lifts up the board, tears filling your eyes. 

“Why?” Jeonghan pauses when he doesn’t see you sitting at the bench the two of you agreed to meet at. He lowers the flowers once he realizes what Minji meant, cursing to himself and turning around. 

“Have a nice run.” Minji says cheerfully, hanging up the phone and placing it into her pocket. She smiles, walking to the sink to splash water onto her face in an attempt to wash away the small feeling of regret.

You stare at the photos of you taken from your social media, gaze following the red line that lands on different notes with the places you work and hangout at. Your heart shatters as you read the instructions on what to do when Jeonghan meets each new step with you. Your eyes land on the very last note, and it takes everything in you to not crumple onto the floor.

break her heart.

The feeling of wanting to vomit builds up in your throat, the realization that you were just a pawn in their sick game slamming into you like a train. That you fucking fell for it, you fell for him. You drop the board, stepping away from it as if it’s cursed. You quickly leave the room, dashing down the steps and running out the door. Minji watches from upstairs, letting out a sigh once you slam the door shut. 

The tears blur your vision as you run off her property, trying to get as far away as you can. You slam straight into a hard chest, stumbling backwards that their hands have to reach out and grasp your arms so that you don’t fall. You wipe away your tears with the back of your hands, opening your mouth to apologize, only to stop when you realize who helped you.

Jeonghan stares back at you, sweat dripping down his face from running, purple daisies on the ground beside him, now missing multiple petals. You rip your arms out of his grasp, feeling a sob bubble up in your chest as the two of you stare at each other in silence. 

“Yn, I-”

“Don’t. Just. Stay away from me.” You state, attempting to walk around him, only for him to stop you. 

“Yn, please. Let me explain. I can tell you everything, please just-”

“Explain what? That you used me for your revenge plot? That you strung me along for months when I had nothing to do with what happened between Dohyun and Minji? That you just think of me as some fucking joke?” Jeonghan shakes his head, grasping your arms to try and plead with you. The sob finally breaks out, and you reach up to cover your face. “God, no. Yn you’re not a joke, you could never be a joke. I never meant for it to get this far. It was all a plan at first but then I got to know you and I fell in l-”

“S-Save it. I don’t want to hear anymore lies.” You mutter, and Jeonghan’s eyes begin to water when you remove his hands from your arms. You stare at him, tears continuing to fall from your eyes as you do so, wondering how you let this happen.

how you let yourself fall for him.

“I-I just wanted one more day. One more day with you, and I was going to tell you everything.” Jeonghan chokes out, hands shaking by his sides as he waits for a response. After a moment of silence, he tentatively reaches up to try and rest his hand on your cheek, “Please, yn. Let me explain-”

“How come I have to get punished just because I love you?”

Jeonghan pauses, staring into your pained eyes as his hand slowly lowers back down to his side. The sparkle that he was so used to, now replaced with the glassiness from your tears. You wipe away the wetness on your cheeks, realizing you confessed that you love him for the first time.

how unfortunate. 

With that, you turn around and walk away from him, not looking back. Jeonghan watches your figure shrink until you’re out of sight, and he drops to his knees, tears finally streaming down his face. He rests his face onto his arm, crying loudly as his heart completely shatters from what he ruined. While Minji watches from her gate, gulping down the feeling of guilt as she stares at her best friend experiencing heartbreak for the first time.

“I hope you’re eating well and taking care of yourself. I-” Jeonghan says into the phone as he stares up at his ceiling. Chan watches from the doorway, feeling sad for his friend. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Jeonghan mutters, ending the call before the voicemail can catch the sound of him crying. He places his phone beside him, covering his face with his hands to try and muffle his sobs. 

It’s been three weeks since you found out the truth, and Jeonghan’s been calling you everyday since then. He’s refused to leave his room unless it’s to use the restroom or grab food, other than that, he rots in his bed all day, the feeling of regret and resentment towards himself flooding his veins. 

That and soju, lots of soju.

“Hannie, do you want me to bring in the dinner I made?” Chan asks, and Jeonghan doesn’t answer, instead turning over in bed and covering his face with a pillow instead. “You need to eat.” 

Jeonghan just curls up even more, closing his eyes as more tears escape. Chan lets out a small sigh, walking out to go and grab the food anyways. He lifts up the tray, carefully stepping back into Jeonghan’s room and placing it on his desk. 

“It’s there if you need it.” Chan says before closing the door. 

While you, you’ve also been laying in bed for the past three weeks. Currently you’re listening to the last voicemail Jeonghan left you, crying as you hear his voice shake towards the end when he apologizes. You turn over, clutching your pillow tightly against your chest as you sob. Your roommate looks at your closed door, concern written all over their features as they hear your loud cries. 

You haven’t been to work as you called in sick. Your manager understands, having heard from your roommate that you’re not in the best mental state. All you’ve done is eat, sleep, and sit in the shower for hours at a time, just letting the water run over you. 

While Jeonghan has hurt you deeply, you can’t help but miss him. You yearn to hear out his side, try and be understanding, try again, but then you remind yourself that you were just a game.

just a game.

“Hi, is yn home?” Your roommate points towards your room. “Be careful though, she hasn’t really left her room for the past month.” 

Chan gives her an understanding nod, knowing that Jeonghan’s doing the same thing. He slips off his shoes, before walking over to your door and knocking softly. You turn your head, muttering for them to come in, expecting your roommate. Your eyes widen when the door opens and you recognize Chan, Jeonghan’s best friend. You sit up, clutching the pillow tightly.

“What are you doing here?” Chan tentatively reaches his hands out, handing you a bag. You raise an eyebrow, taking it from him and looking inside. You let out a breath when you see a jewelry box. You lift it out of the bag, slowly opening it and biting back another sob.

“He was going to give it to you the day you guys were supposed to go to the aquarium, as a way to tell you he loves you, and that he’s sorry.” Chan explains, and you stare at the way the light reflects against the daisy pendant of the necklace. 

“I know you might not want to hear this at all, but I’ve never seen Jeonghan pine after a girl, let alone fall in love. Yet, I saw both of those things happen with you.” You slowly look up at Chan, who’s giving you a small, hopeful smile. “I know what he did was shitty, I tried to stop them from including you in the plan in general. I just, I’ve seen how you’ve changed him for the better. I know Jeonghan, and I know that he really regrets what he did. He wouldn’t be calling and texting you everyday if he didn’t. He doesn't even text me honestly.” 

You look at the necklace, feeling sad, but somehow a bit better, more assured. You glance back up at Chan, giving him a nod. “Thank you Chan.” 

He gives you a smile, “Of course. Anything for your guys’ happiness.” 

It’s been a month and a half since everything happened, and you’re finally leaving your room. It’s not much in your eyes, but your roommate was ecstatic about it, even though it’s just a trip to the convenience store. It’s also quite literally two am, but they said, any outside air is good air! You trudge over in your grey sweats and oversized black sweater, lifting up your glasses to rub your eye with the back of your hand.

Once you’re at the convenience store, you head straight towards the ramyun, grabbing the eight pack and walking out of the aisle. You step over to the register, pulling out your card to pay for it. The chime of the door opening grabs your attention, and you tiredly look up, only to freeze when you lock eyes with Jeonghan.

He doesn’t look any better, bags prominent under his eyes, black t-shirt hanging loosely on his shoulders. However, you still see him as the most handsome guy you’ve ever seen. Shock is evident on his features as he stares at you, unsure of what to do. Jeonghan’s eyes trail down, seeing the daisy pendant glimmer back at him from the light. He opens his mouth to say something, only for you to turn back towards the cashier once they hand you the bag of ramyun and your receipt. 

Jeonghan clenches his fist, walking over towards the aisle where the soju is. You let out a shaky sigh, turning your head to look at his retreating figure, debating on following after him. After a moment, you shake your head, choosing to walk out of the store sadly. 

Jeonghan stares at the box of soju for a moment after hearing the bells, signalling you left the store. He bites the inside of his cheek, having an internal battle with himself.

What if she doesn’t even wanna talk to me? She hasn’t answered my calls or texts for the last month and a half, that means she hates me. 

I have no chance, she’ll never forgive me. 

She shouldn’t forgive me for what I did...

But I miss her.

Fuck. 

Jeonghan immediately turns around and runs towards the door, forcefully shoving it open and feeling the cool night air hit him. Only to stop when he sees you waiting right there, sitting on the steps, your bag of ramyun placed beside you. You slowly turn your head, looking up at Jeonghan. 

“Yn.” 

“Jeonghan.” 

The two of you stare in silence again, and you break it by patting the empty space beside you. 

“I don’t think anyone will come to the shop in a while, it’s literally two am.” You say, and Jeonghan lets out a breathless chuckle. He takes another step before sitting down beside you, and that’s when you both fall into another silence. Except this time it’s more comforting, being with each other after yearning for so long but knowing it was best to stay away.

“You look like shit.” You state, effectively breaking the silence, and Jeonghan glances at you, a grin gracing his features. He turns away, shaking his head and looking up towards the stars. “I know.” 

You follow suit, staring up at the stars as well. A small smile appears on your face after a moment, and you turn your head to look at Jeonghan, only to realize he’s already staring at you. He lets out a content sigh, finding the stars slowly making their way back into your eyes. You turn away once you feel the warmth rush up to your cheeks, choosing to look at the parked car in front of the two of you. He looks back up towards the stars, trying to find which one shines the brightest.

Jeonghan comes to the conclusion that you shine brighter than the billions of stars in the sky as he does so.

“I’m sorry.” Jeonghan says after a moment, the sound of resentment present in his voice, and you let out a breath. 

“I know.” 

The two of you sit in silence, staring at your surroundings. A tear slips past your eye, and you wipe it away with your sweater paw. You wrap your arms around your knees, hugging them close to your chest as you stare at the empty road.

“I missed you, Jeonghan.” Jeonghan harshly bites the inside of his cheek, tears falling past his eyes as he continues to stare up at the night sky. 

“I missed you too, yn.” 

You let out a sigh after a moment, before leaning over and resting your head on Jeonghan’s shoulder. He freezes slightly, at the contact, but relaxes. After a moment, he lays his head over yours, and that’s when you both know you’ll be okay. 

we’ll be okay. 

[oppabimbab]

sequel: did we make it right? | kim taehyung

genre: heavy angst, tiny bit of smut, break up

starring: taehyung x reader

synopsis:  you broke up with him and the phase of moving on—you didn’t know it would be this hard. You wanted him here but somehow, it feels like letting go is the best and the only choice you had in your hands, isn’t it? or not?

words:  8,972 words

side note: so this sequel happened since yall cried bc of prev fics and many of you wanted the second part of that. here we go. sorry for the grammar errors and any kind of faulty. i tried my best to keep the plot as it was planned and i still think this isn’t my best edits yet but enjoy!

recommended songs: moon and back - alice kristiansen | run to you - lea michele

related: maybe, it wasn’t right | kim taehyung

**

You had no idea that moving on would be this hard. It has been almost 6 months since the relationship ended and these past 6 months—were never that easy. It was harder than everyone have told you about. They said it would be easy but not once you found yourself in a right state of mind. They said everything will be just fine but you still found yourself in the midst of grief. 6 months—You never knew that time flew this quick even though every day felt like nothing but misery to you.

Break up wouldn’t be easy. And you agreed. It was a torture.

There were some part of healing that you didn’t understand. It was weird and confusing. Some days, you find yourself laughing and smiling like you had the entire world in your hands. You ate well, get enough sleep and happy. And some days, you would stopped talking to anyone—not even your bestfriend Wendy and locked yourself up in that stuffy room. You woke up with swollen eyes and broken heart like the wound was still fresh and bleeding. It was heavy and difficult. It made you confused and clueless. It became more confusing when you couldn’t find any reasons to move on if everything reminded you of him.

You tried to avoid his favorite songs every time it came on the radio. You changed the channel if his favorite movies shown up on the screen. You even stopped looking at everything that remind you of him. You forced yourself even it was really hard not to curl on your bed and cry. They were all a torture.

Honestly, if you asked yourself, you would agree that it still hurts like hell. The pain was still there, reminding you every day how unwanted you were. The memories on that night kept pulling your skin and made it bleed—reminding you that he wasn’t yours from the very first start. It still torn you down and drained the energy that was barely there. You couldn’t remember how many times the ugly tears would fall down in a very random place.

You were having the casual night, watching some movies with Wendy then the next second, she was there—patting your back as you bawled your eyes out because you remembered him. You wanted him, here.

Let alone when you needed to take few minutes break from your work at the office just to spend some tears inside the toilet—thinking how cruel he was for making you like this. He was really cruel.

You wondered—how was he? Did he cried when you left? Did he go through those sleepless nights like you did? Perhaps, did he ever think of you when he heard your favorite songs? Was he in pain, just like you?

6 months have passed yet It was never that easy to forget him.

When nights fall, you would silently scrolled down to the old messages you have shared with him. Taehyung was a bad texter. He hated texting because he said he preferred to see you more than doing the dry text all day. Once, both of you got into argument because of how bad he was.

“Are you serious?” you frowned at him—crossing your arms while you stood there. You weren’t happy now and of course, he knew why.

“What?” he chuckled as he munched on his favorite snacks, watching his favorite movies. Probably confused as hell why were you acting like this at 11pm. You rolled your eyes.

“You said you would text me when you got home yesterday? But you didn’t?” you pouted—scrolling through the messages from yesterday before you looked back at him. He raised his eyebrows.

“I didn’t? I thought i did?” he grinned and just like that, he was really a bad texter.

“Baby!! I got worried for nothing. I thought you were kidnapped,” you thumped your feet softly on the ground—trying to protest at him like an annoying clingy girlfriend.

He let out a hearty laugh at you. His eyes disappeared when he laughed and weirdly, you loved that. You hid the smile that was slowly plastering your face.

“Who would want to kidnap me though?I’m big and huge, unlike you,” he scrunched his nose at you, probably amused at you and your sudden clingy self. Your eyes widen at him, almost choking at his choice of words. A small laugh escaped your mouth.

“Big? Are you really that big?” you mocked while squinting your eyes. Taehyung hated it when that tone came out from your mouth. He cocked his brows. A grin showed up on his lips.

“Don’t act like you don’t know. Or should I remind you?” he bit his lower lip before pulling you closer to him. You squealed when he made you sit on his lap when you supposed to be mad—making him giggled at your quirky squeal as he planted hundreds kisses on your jaw—stroking your hips softly. You couldn’t help but laughing.

“Hmmm. You smell so good. Did you change your shampoo?” he mumbled through the kiss. You slapped his shoulder and looked down at his hooded eyes. A happiness bloomed in your heart at the sight. Nothing fancy. Just his presence was enough. Crazy.

“So, you’re going to change the subject again like you did last time?”

“Yes,” he grinned. You groaned jokingly. Taehyung knew your weak spot and he never failed to use that. And you weren’t complaining either.

When the memories came up, you were left helpless and vulnerable again and again. You wished it never ended. You wished the memories shouldn’t be called memories because you wanted to feel it everyday.

There were a lot of them and every day, you would remember it like a diary. His pictures—he loved to send you those random pictures of him, his dog Yeontan and sometimes, those things that remind him of you. 2k pictures from him—you still kept them nicely inside your phone.

You would read those old messages from him without realising a trail of tears were streaming down in the corner of your eyes. You didn’t realise the same tears kept you company every night without fail. He was gorgeous. You missed his raspy laughter. The way he pinned his body against yours because you were cold. Those sleepy voice echoed through the room when he woke up next to you—begging you to stay with him for few more minutes.

And just like that, the entire night was spent with the silent cry from your mouth. It happened everyday and you didn’t know how to make this stop.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him. Fucking asshole,” Wendy groaned in frustrations while you were beside her—sobbing. The first few weeks of break up, you chose to keep quiet about it because you had no energy to tell anyone about this. And when you decided to tell her, of course, she was mad. As hell.

“If he still wants that girl so much, why the fuck did he date you for 1 fucking year? Are you kidding me? Did you look like a joke? Oh god,” her eyes were gleaming with fire as she couldn’t hide the anger in her voice. The scrambled egg was left cold because she lost her appetite already. That morning felt intense and gloomy than ever. Wendy was a very straight forward woman. Even you were here sobbing like a crazy woman, she cursed the fuck out whenever she pissed off.

You shrugged, wiping your eyes with the tissues.

“Maybe if I was enough-“

“Enough? For god sake, you are more than enough. You gave everything you had, what else did he want?” her voice soften when she noticed your flushed face. As she came closer, she pulled you into her tiny embrace. Again, you broke down. You wished she was right. You wished you had given everything.

“Babe, you are the kindest person I have ever met in my entire life. You are beautiful, gentle and selfless. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. You don’t deserve this,” her voice broke a little when she heard you crying. She was a very sensitive person because the next second, you heard her tiny sob. You hope somebody could feel what was inside your heart now.

“I don’t know. I really don’t know, Wendy. I’m really sad,” she rubbed your back softly as you forced yourself to talk. It felt like a huge chunk just got stucked in your throat. You couldn’t talk.

“Please take your time. It will be okay. It should be okay, I promise you,” she whispered.

Months have passed. Will it be okay?

You leaned against the leather seat as you finished the last document for the day. It was a long day yet you be able to survive it even in such state. You gave a soft pat on your shoulder before gathering all the paper works to give to your boss before you leave. It was already Friday. Time flew quicker than you imagined.

Switching off the computer and grabbing your stuffs, you counted the steps to the huge room, few metres from your desk before you knocked on the door. A soft hum was heard few seconds later and you entered it.

“Good evening, sir. Here is the edited financial reports that you’ve requested before. I’ve made a few edits and please let me know if there is more faulty,” you cracked a soft smile across your lips as you put the plastic file on the table. You tried to sound professional as much as you could do even in this messy state of mind. You glanced at the young man—standing at the book shelf.

“Good work, thank you,” he nodded. A soft smile appeared on his lips as he looked at you. You returned the same thing to him while you stood there, at the edge of the his desk.

“If that’s all, I’m leaving first, sir. Thank you for today,” you bowed politely before you turned your heels. Few steps ahead and he called you again. You looked back at him and this time, he was already leaning against the desk, crossing his arms on the chest—staring at you with frowned brows.

“Can I ask you something? I hope it’s not something personal to you,” Mingyu voiced out—looking straight into your tired and confused eyes. You sure everyone could see how tired you were because you didn’t plan to hide it either. It drained your energy to fake anything now.

“Sure. What’s it, sir?”

“Are you okay?” his voice soften along with his eyes—gazing at you like a melted honey. The tension frown disappeared from his face and it was replaced by a worried gaze. You were a little surprised at his question especially when he looked at you like he knew something was bothering you. It looked like he knew something was wrong with you.

Mingyu has been always that kind of person and you were fully aware about that. The relationship you shared with him was fully business and you barely talked to each other once the office hours ended but sometimes, it felt more than that.

The way he guided you during your first few months as his clumsy secretary, the way he spoke to you even you screwed up too many times, the way he handled those mistakes caused by you—you knew Mingyu was a very gentle person. Rather than making himself as that cold and egoistic boss, he made sure that you could look up to him every time you were in need. Even so, you didn’t want to see his kindness as something that involved love like everyone claimed—deep inside, he treated everyone just as nice as he treated you.

He was a gentleman—with maturity. For real, you couldn’t ask anything more than that because that was enough.

You finally get it why Taehyung disliked him. You flinched slightly, trying to get him off your mind.

“Yes. Of course I am,” you faked a laughter even his eyes were striking into yours, completely unconvinced with your lies. He exhaled, silent for few seconds.

“You’ve lost your focus these past few months. I don’t know, you did your job perfectly but something is off. Are you okay? Is there something bothering you?” His voice has soften a bit—he probably noticed the changes on your face which was something you wanted to hide.

“I’m really sorry, sir. I will do it better next time,” honestly, you had no idea what exactly should you reply to that? Were you okay? Were you good? Definitely not. He shook his head, still unconvinced.

“That’s not answering my question,”

“Uhm,” you hesitated. Your lips turned into thin line.

“Actually, there are few things that have been bothering me but they are minors. I’m completely fine....yes, everything is just fine. Maybe it’s me being easily tired but really, i’m good. Don’t worry, sir,” you tried to sound convincing to someone that observant like Mingyu. He was really sensitive to little changes. You didn’t know he noticed those changes in yourself more than you did.

“If you need days off, please ask me for that. I don’t want you to overwork yourself too much. You’re important,” he looked serious without any hint of smile on his face as his eyes never left yours. His eyes were so intense and you wonder, why was that? Mingyu had such beautiful pair of deep eyes and you couldn’t deny that.

When he noticed a small smile crept on your lips, he spoke again.

“....as my secretary. You’re important to this company,” he corrected himself while adjusting his throat—his eyes immediately left yours as you still stared at him with a small smile. You chuckled—looking down to your feet. He was oddly cute for some reason.

“I know, sir. I appreciate that. But, i’m really fine. I still can go to work tomorrow. I can stay overtime if you want me to,” you smiled at him sincerely—showing off the beautiful smile you barely shown to anyone these past few months. But, this time, you find yourself loosened up for something very weird.

A small raspy giggle left his mouth as he shook his head. Mingyu got off from the edge of the table before he came to the desk to clean up the papers and stuff. You supposed, he was about to leave so you waited for him to finish.

“That’s good to hear. I’d like my best worker back....Alright, that’s all for today, You can leave now,” he flashed you another soft smile. You bowed politely.

When you thought it finally came to end, he called you again. This time—he came closer to you, towering your petite figure under his built. His scent—sweat and cologne filled up your sense, making you looked up at him.

“Are you hungry?”

“Yeah, kind of,”

“Great. Dinner’s on me tonight,” he grinned before he left you alone in the empty room—completely speechless at his sudden gesture. That was quick and random.

“But, sir I-,”

“You can’t say no to your boss, can you?” his voice echoed through the office as he already few steps ahead from you. That was it. You couldn’t say no to your boss, could you?

For few moment, you felt comfort. A sincere one.

**

The whole ride was filled with soft music from his radio along with the soft breeze, coming from outside. None of you both started any conversation since 10 minutes ago. It wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable but it felt more like both of you were enjoying this silence.

“Do you have any plan tonight? I mean...you know, it’s Friday,” when you were too immersed in such silence, he spoke out—bringing you back to the reality after been lost in your own thoughts. God knows how many time you have spaced out like this. You despised this side of you.

“Uhm, no honestly. I’m planning to eat then sleep until next morning,” you replied while letting out a faded chuckle. The next second, you immediately realised how pathetic that sounded like. Mingyu must be thinking that you were such an anti social and depressed bitch. But, you has always been like this since forever.

He giggled while nodding.

“I don’t know why but I kinda knew you would say that. That sounds very of you,” his deep husky voice filled up the car space along with the small laughter coming out from his mouth. You glanced at him, hiding a smile. You weren’t sure if he already recognised your traits for these past 2 years of working together but for some reason, it was kinda cute that he noticed the littlest thing about you.

“You can’t stop me,sir” you replied, almost chuckling with him.

“Can you do me a favor? Drop the honorific when the office hours ended. I think it’s better that way, it’s not like we are discussing about that annoying client we hated the most though,” he said in a very straight voice.

Without you realised, the car was filled with your laughter when you couldn’t hold yourself from laughing at his remarks. That was the most random shit you have ever heard from him. Mingyu looked surprise but a soft chuckle left his mouth.

“I can’t believe you said that. You hate her too? I thought it’s only me who hated her for no reason,” it was hard for you to utter the words as you were still laughing—covering your mouth with the back of your hand. He nodded with a grin across his lips.

When you have calmed down, he spoke again.

“Can you do that?” he met your eyes. Curling your lips, you nodded.

“I’ll try, Mingyu,” you hid a smile. His small dimple appeared right away—eyebrows raised.

“Without doubt, huh?” he teased. Again, the car was filled with nothing but his small chuckle and your soft smile.

The weird thing is, you felt a warmth for the first time from someone you had the least expectations from.

When both of you arrived at the restaurant, it was packed and crowded—completely something that you hated the most. The last time you went to such place was few weeks ago, thanks to Wendy’s pushy ass.

Both you and Mingyu came inside—finding a table to grab a dinner and go. But, it seemed like it wouldn’t happen because when you looked around, you found that eyes again. Out of those stranger eyes, you would still find that eyes again. Eyes that you have lost.

You saw his boxy smile—twinkling like it always does while his eyes—gleaming with the same sparkle. They were beautiful and painfully gorgeous that you almost forgot everything around you. Again, the universe seemed it was fading away from you.

But, he wasn’t alone. She was there—with him. The woman whom you wished you wouldn’t be seeing again—sharing the same smile and laughter—with him. Those gazes, you sure, they were filled with love.

The wound inside your chest, it was ripped open again.

**

Everything about this was tiring. Your body was tired. Your mental was tired. Your soul—it died. You tried to comprehend and see the good things from this stage of your life but why did it seem like nothing would work out? Why were you still here, alone with the same wound again?

It was unfair. Why was it only you, who suffered the pain of this break up? Why did it look like none of these things affect him as much as it did to you? Why did your heart still ache so much like this even 6 months have passed? There were so many questions that held you like a knife—stabbing you for the same reason again and again.

The same warm tears fell down—wetting your face for millionth times as you found yourself to be sitting on the bench at a park, not to far from the restaurant. The people seemed to be freaked out since you were there—sobbing silently like a weak bitch even you have told yourself to stop being this weak. Nothing worked out. None of them.

Honestly, you hated this. There were so many changes in yourself and you hated that.

“I found you,” the familiar voice echoed through the cold space before you looked up at your side with tears streaming down to your chin.

There was Mingyu—breathless as he tried to catch some breath from running too much. He must be running around to find you since you left the restaurant in just blink of eyes. Silence filled the gap between you and him while he stared at you and your pathetic self. It was embarassing and you wanted to disappear.

He heaved a soft sigh before slowly making the gap disappeared as he sat next to you.

“So, I believe, that thing, it bothered you these past few weeks? Your boyfriend?” he spoke and from the corner of your eyes, you could feel his gaze glued at you. With these swollen eyes and state, how the hell could you look at him?

“Ex boyfriend,” you replied. He nodded.

“I understand,” he exhaled, taking his eyes off you and looked around as if he let you to calm yourself down from the tragic sobbing. He probably noticed that you wanted to hide yourself from him so he looked away, letting both of you immersed in a night silence.

“It is hard and complicated,” without you realised, you spoke out in such a defeated voice. It was still vulnerable. And Mingyu finally saw that side of you.

He curled his lips.

“Break up will always be difficult. Don’t believe it when they say it’s not,” he met your teary eyes. His gaze was soft and dreamy. He probably saw all the pain in them that he chose to keep staring at you.

“I don’t want to let him go. I don’t want to forget him. Not yet. Not forever. It’s crazy,” you wiped the remaining tears in the corner of your eyes using the back of your hands as you looked down to the ground.

“Do you still love him?” he spoke as he looked straight to the busy streets across the park. You nodded as the remaining tears stained your cheeks. After all these while, you didn’t care anymore. You didn’t care if he find you weird—crying over someone like this even in fact, you shouldn’t have anymore.

“Aren’t you hurted? By still holding on to the past?” Mingyu cocked his head at you. His brown orbs were shining under such dim street lights above both of you. They were blinking like a pearl, something you have never seen it before. Rather than looking disgusted or uncomfortable, you could see a hint of reassurance in them eyes.

“It hurts so bad, Mingyu,” your voice cracked as you felt his gaze seemed never left yours before he exhaled. He looked up to the sky and sighed again.

“You know, there is a thing that I strongly disagree since forever. They said love is about timing, where you found your soul mate at the right time and be happy, also at the right time....” he stopped. There was a short silence.

Then he filled the air with his voice again.

“....but I believe, love is about what has been written for you,” a faded smile appeared again.

“It will always be difficult to get over someone.... whom you thought would be here with you for the rest of your life,” he added.

“...but you know, love isn’t about staying until the end. It’s not always about holding on from the beginning. Sometimes....it’s about letting go even it’s going to break every parts of you,”

When both of you found each other’s eyes—you could feel your heart clenched so much that it suffocated you to the edge. You felt every pieces of you were scattered all over the place again because deep inside, you knew it was true. You wanted to deny but It was painfully true. Fuck this.

“No, please,” curling yourself, you sobbed into your hands. Everything about this was hard. You weren’t ready. The next second, you felt his warmth beside you as he scooted closer. The same cologne filled your sense before he whispered.

“Can I hug you? To ease the pain even a little?” you weren’t supposed to hug your own boss but weird thing, you found yourself nodding at him. Probably, begging for some comfort that been slowly losing from your system. And, Just like that, you were so deep in his embrace—in an embrace that wasn’t Taehyung’s.

Part of you was so in pain. You wished it was him, hugging you this way. You wished it was him—comforting you this way because world knows, everything will be just fine. But, he wasn’t here anymore and you weren’t sure how to get used to that.

You pulled Mingyu closer to you and sobbed on his chest—like you did to yourself every nights. He wrapped his arms around you, securing you like he never wanted you to fall apart like this. It felt like he knew how painful it was so he was there, to put the scattered pieces, back as a whole.

It was weird. You knew there was a goodbye few months ago when you chose to leave but now, why did it feel like everything was finally over? It felt like you have lost that 1 chance and hope—leaving you this helpless.

“Let the grief go and set him free. You deserve to be happy. Genuinely happy,” he whispered—pulling you closer.

You sobbed. He was your happiness but it seemed like you need to replace it with a new one.

**

Another 2 months have passed. Nothing has changed drastically in your life except the fact that Mingyu has become a new part of your life. You couldn’t believe that night would be the night where both of you went deeper than you had before. He wasn’t yours and you weren’t his but the relationship has changed especially when he helped you moving on. Mingyu knew how and when to be gentle whenever you were around. It looked like he studied every little about your traits and tried to get along with it without disrespecting you in some kind of way.

You appreciate his presence so much. His presence was new yet comfortable—that you were still trying to get adjusted to it even sometimes, you got confused and lost. The weird part—Mingyu was the opposite side of Taehyung.

He loved to cook whenever he had the chance to do so and surprisingly, was good at it. He was huge fan of romance and melancholy genre—you still remembered when he kept you company, watching the same cliche kdramas without whining and complaining about how sucks the genre is.

He loved the smell of pastry—he loved the beauty of the evening sky—he loved the sound of the ocean. Those things that you barely heard from your ex. Indeed, there were new.

Some days, it felt perfect. Almost perfect. The heart break was slowly taken away from you and your days started to fill with laughter and smile. The heaviness in your heart got lifted for a moment, leaving you with nothing but a temporary happiness. It was genuine, all because of him. And you didn’t plan to push him away because there was some part of you, longing for his presence but you had no idea on what reason.

“Are you serious?” your eyes got widen as your gaze was glued on his face that had grin all over it. He curled his lips and nodded before taking the usual monthly reports from you.

The dried saliva in your throat was swallowed forcefully—making him chuckled.

“You’re asking me to go to a party with you? I supposed it isn’t a good idea, sir,” you kept the professionalism as both of you were still in the office—the boss and the worker but you couldn’t hide the tone that coming out along with the words. He shrugged.

“I couldn’t attend it last year and I don’t plan to do that again. And also, I don’t plan to go there by myself either,” he sounded very casual and straight forward—completely ignoring your widen eyes. A slight hum from you filled the space.

“That sounds sad,” you scoffed jokingly before you took back the signed report from him. His small dimple appeared.

“I guess that’s a yes? Great, you sure know what’s the best,”

“Hey, I didn’t say anything,”

“Okay, are you coming with me?” he crossed his arms—showing off his veiny arms while raising the eyebrows at you. For some reason, your heart thumped at the sight because he sure looked hot. You adjusted your throat as you looked back at him.

“I’m coming,” you said, almost rolling your eyes because he definitely knew you were going to say yes—as you witnessed a small satisfied smile plastered on his lips. He looked fierce yet soft, you don’t understand.

“Great. I’m going to pick you up tomorrow, at 8. Are we good?”

“We good, sir,” you scrunched your nose at him before you excused yourself to leave. He gave you a thumbs up as you left

You weren’t sure if he made you come as his secretary or something more than that.

**

You couldn’t help the nervous sweat that have been wetting your hands when you saw how huge the party is. Now, you weren’t sure if the basic black dress that been wrapping your curvy figure was a good choice since everyone looked damn good. Is this make up okay? This hair?

“Mingyu, I feel uncomfortable,” you leaned closer to his side while whispering to his ear, as both of you walked inside the bar. Of course it was crowded with so many people that seemed to be his friends because each seconds, his name was called.

“Just stay with me, you’ll get used to this,” he whispered softly before you could feel his warm hand sealing yours as he guided you through the crowd. There wasn’t any response from you as you let him take you to anywhere he liked while he introduced you to anyone he bumped to. He wanted you to be by his side so bad because swear to god, his hand felt like glue—it was sealed perfectly inside yours.

“Now, let’s meet my friend. He’s over there,” Mingyu said with a grin to you as he took you to the corner—making your heels clank on the marble floor. Every steps felt like fire because your heart thumped for no reason. They were beating so hard that it made you anxious for nothing.

When you finally reached the table, a gush of air left your lungs immediately when you saw him. Again.

It made you freeze on the ground—making you stood there like a statue as you felt all of the gazes were glued on you. You didn’t give any damn about anyone at the table because the only matters right now was his gaze—it felt like a fire on your body. You met his eyes again after the last time it broke you. He looked surprise to see you here, standing across him, in someone’s hand. Perhaps, he thought you were so in love and happy with someone new. Your heart thumped at the sight before you looked away.

“Thanks for inviting us, bro, it’s been a long time since I met you. Oh and this is my date for tonight,” Mingyu spoke as a proud grin plastered all over his face—greeting those people at the table without noticing you were completely out of zone. Wooshik greeted him back before he averted his attention at you.

“You look good like you always do. I’m glad you come,” he smiled—making you return the same thing. Of course he knew you. He was around when you dated Taehyung. Wooshik witnessed your journey with him until it ended. You glanced at Seojun and Hyungsik, who were also flashing you a soft smile. Those guys, it felt weird to see them after the break up.

“Thank you, Wooshik. The party is great,” clenching into your small pouch, you scooted closer to Mingyu, tugging his arms around yours—completely ignoring Taehyung’s eyes on you even it almost made your legs become wobbly and shit. Mingyu smiled at your gesture because he knew what was inside your mind. Without any doubt, he took your hands inside his. The atmosphere changed. There was a short silence.

“Enjoy the party, you two. Let me know if you need something,” Wooshik spoke—there were changes in his face, he probably finds it weird that you were now in someone else’s arms instead of his friend. You were sure everyone finds it’s weird that both you and him were no longer together in just blink of eyes even yesterday the world saw how deep the love was. It was indeed weird because the next thing you realised, you were in different home.

Every sips of alcohol that glided into your throat felt like nothing but a poison. The crowded place were damn noisy and full of emotions but you were here at the corner with the emptiest heart instead of having fun—like Mingyu have always told you. You should be having fun tonight but it seemed like nothing ever worked out on you.

It’s crazy that both of you were in a same place but the distance felt way too significant. He was over, probably happy and in love. You were over here with your empty heart.

Somehow, you hated him so much. Why would he always come up whenever you were at your peak—building yourself back? Why would those images of them two slapped you—shoving the damn thorns and blood to your heart whenever you were trying to be fine?

“Are you okay?” you flinched a little when the warm whisper touched your ears before you find Mingyu, by your side. Every time you looked at him, you couldn’t help but feel bad. How the hell could he still keep up with your sudden mood swings and bullshits like this? The weird part, he always treated at you like the whole world belonged to you.

“Yeah. I’m good,” you replied—forcing a smile. It was very artificial. He curled his lips as he stared into your eyes without saying anything. Both of you exchanged such an intense eye contacts for few moments before he took your hand—gesturing you to dance with him. You were left in hesitation but just like always, you would say yes.

His hand, you let them sealed with yours. The next second, you realised that he took you to the center of the bar before the warmth from his arms wrapped around your waist as he pulled you closer to his body. Your whole body froze when his deep eyes strike into yours when you looked up. Mingyu was tall that your petite figure almost got disappeared inside his embrace.

“Put your hands on my chest,” he whispered down at you—making you slowly do as what he told you. You weren’t sure if everyone was looking at both of you but the thing is, your skin—it tingled.

“Have I told you that you look beautiful today?” after such silence, he spoke again.

Chills running down your spine when he added.

“You look amazing in this dress. I think I’m falling in love,”

When he said that,it felt like there was a huge chunks in your throat because you barely can breathe when your sense came back. The courage to look at him was gone immediately when you finally understand what he just said.

“Mingyu...” you whispered—trying to make this conversation as clear as possible. He needed to repeat himself because you were afraid that you might be wrong even you heard him crystal clear. His hands slid behind your back to pull you closer—making your face was few inches away from him.

“Please...let me love you,” he said.

“Mingyu, what are you saying?” you whispered back at him.

“I know, I know. This is too sudden for you but please....let me love you. Let me heal you,” he looked down, breaking the eye contact from you. There was a desperation in those eyes, leaving you without words. He sounded needy and desperate. After all these while, you never know he was in love with you. You had no idea, not even once.

“How can we do this? We barely know each other. I’m scared,” you spoke to him—finding his eyes again. The more you stared at him, the more it made you confused you—how couldn’t you see that before? They were obvious.

“We can make this work, I promise you. We can do this. Gosh, I love you so much,”

A small smile appeared on his lips. Mingyu was one gorgeous man. He spoke with his eyes and heart.

Silence filled the gap.

“Can I kiss you?”

You wanted to say no but the next second, you found yourself nodding at him. You wanted to get off from his arms but you let him touch you even deep inside, your heart felt heavy.

The next second, you felt his lips against yours. They were sealed perfectly, spreading his warmth against your trembling lips. Mingyu secured his arms on your back when he noticed you were stumbling on your feet as the kiss deepen. His lips felt nice but why were your heart still empty? Why didn’t you feel any emotions in your heart when he kissed you like this? The worst part—why did you still have Taehyung’s image in your mind even after all these while?

The kiss lasted for few seconds before Both of you pulled away from each other and panted hard. You looked down to your feet—catching some air and a piece of reality. Time has froze around you, you couldn’t really process anything about this yet.

“Don’t touch her,” before you could get back to your sense, you felt a tight grip around your arms—pulling you away from Mingyu.

There was Taehyung, standing so close here as he glared at him with so much fire in his deep eyes. His eyes were already that deep but with fire, they were really intimidating. His jaw clenched a lot, his body tensed up with anger. Your eyes widen at him. Why was he here?

“Don’t fucking touch her again,” he grunted like a tiger before taking your hand and took you away from the place. There was nothing come out from your mouth as you followed him to anywhere he wanted to bring you.

You shouldn’t do that but you did.

**

“Let me go!!! What the hell are you doing?” you screamed at him when you were stumbling on the ground—almost hurting your feet. Few more steps, he let you go.

“What are you doing with him?” Taehyung grunted under his breath—his chest pound like he was holding such anger. You frowned at him.

“Why do you care so much? Let me go,” you spat as you tried to push him away but unlucky you, he was way much stronger

“Why are you kissing him? Why did you let him touched you?!” his jaw clenched a lot as he found your eyes even in such dark alley. You used to see sparkle in them but this time, it was a fire and you had no idea why would he act this way when everything was over now?

“It’s none of your business, Taehyung! Everything that happen in my life, you don’t need to know. Go kiss your girlfriend and leave me alone,” you yelled even your legs almost turn wobbly because of his fiery eyes. The words felt like thorns in your mouth and his presence still affected you this much, he probably knew that.

He looked stunned.

“After all these while, why do you care so much about me? I thought you said you wanted her but why are you here, dragging me from him? Why?” the quiet alley was filled with your fiery voice between you and him.

“Look.....I know, I know...I’ve fucked everything about us. Everything we had. I get it why it you are this mad because....gosh, this is crazy,” he ran his fingers through his wavy hair while sighing to the cold air. He sounded so frustrated and guilty that it made you become more furious.

“Oh for god sake, please. I don’t want your sorry. Just never show up again, please. You don’t know how hard it is for me to erase you from my life. You hurted me, Taehyung...” you stopped for a while because fuck this, the same tears were pooling in your eyes again.

The painful memories showed up again.

“...You broke me so much. So please, leave me alone. I’m tired,” You weren’t sure if those words were true. You weren’t sure if you really wanted him to leave you alone.

You thought the conversation was over when there was barely any response from him but the next second, he pulled you and pinned you against the cold wall of the small alley—trapping you between his arms. A small whimper escaped your mouth at the cold contact while his face was only few inches away from you that you could his hot minty breath. Teary eyes to such deep pair of eyes. What a moment.

“I never wanted to hurt you like this,”

“You probably get sick of me already but for the remaining minutes, I wanted you to know that—every part of me, never wanted to bring so much pain to you, like this,” you caught his eyes even it was really dark. They have soften. There was no more anger and fire. Don’t know why but It made your heart clench even more.

“Are you still in love with me?” out of sudden, he asked you.

“Why does that matter now?” your voice faded.

“Say that you don’t love me anymore and I will let you go to him. Say that so I know.....when you go back home, there is no more piece of me that would hurt you like this,” his eyes tremble. Fear and pain. Tears pooled again in your eyes. The blood could stain your lips from bitting it too much.

When you couldn’t answer it, he spoke again.

“Push me away if that’s the answer,”

And just like that, he crashed his mouth against yours. The kiss was deep—deeper than the last time you had with him when you chose to let him go. His lips—that was 8 months ago since you got to taste it and they still have the same flavour. Sweet and addictive. Like a drug. Taehyung grunts in the kiss as deepen the kiss by pulling your face closer—savouring your mouth like he missed it.

You hated yourself. You knew you already had the answer for Mingyu’s question because the next thing you realised, you didn’t push Taehyung away. Instead, you kissed him back like tomorrow doesn’t exist.

**

“Ah!!” a sweet erotic moan escaped your mouth as he planted trail of kisses along your bare chest—sucking and biting into the flesh, leaving some marks on your body. His kisses were rushed yet it never stopped sending chills and tingles to every part of your skin.

He stopped kissing you as he pulled the wet panty from your hips—showing off the dripping liquid from the pussy. You moan to the air when the cold breeze touched your bare core that it immediately made you missed his warmth. He stared at you for few seconds before coming down to your wet entrance.

“Oh my god, Taehyung!” you screamed out loud as you felt his warm tongue all over the throbbing clit. He sucked on your clitoris while grunting and groaning which sent so much electricity to all over your body. Mouth opened, body arched—you called his name like it was the only thing in your mind. You lowered your gaze down at him while moaning, just to find his eyes—were looking straight into yours. Swear to god, you heart thumped a lot. You fisted into his hair—pulling him deeper.

When he thrusted his tongue inside your core, a gush of air left your lungs immediately, making you scream his name as he stared at you. That was hot and your pussy clenched for more. Taehyung kept licking, sucking, eating you out and you never know you have been missing this intimacy with him. He always make you feel good. This good.

A knot started to twirl in your lower abdomen whenever he thrusted his tongue into you with no mercy. It felt like heaven.

“I’m so close,” you cried out and not long after, you cummed—making him lick your juice all over your pussy without taking his eyes off you. That was really hot, you couldn’t contain the overwhelming cloud in your chest everytime you met his beautiful eyes.

Then, he got off from the bed to unbuckle the belt around his waist before undressed the pants from his body—leaving the huge bulge under the boxer to your sight. His cock was throbbing hard inside the fabric and when he pulled his boxer down, your pussy clenched for him. You wanted him to touch you again and do whatever he wanted to do with your body.

“Ride me,” he grunted before crawling back on the bed, sitting with his back on the headboard as he waited for you to climb on him. The veins along his neck and arms were making it’s hard for you to think straight. Your mouth felt dry.

Slowly, you crawled on top of him, sitting on his thigh as you placed your hands on his shoulder for support. Lips were bitten when you caught his eyes before you slowly placed his member on your entrace before sitting on them—burying it deep inside your tight and wet pussy. Taehyung groaned—staring at how deep he buried inside you while you were here with a breathy moan escaped from your mouth.

God, it felt so good. Your legs tremble at the sudden contact—making him secure his hands on your hips as you started to bounce and move your body on him. The pace was slow and intoxicating. He was really big and the fact that you needed to adjust to his size, you never knew it has been a while since he made love to you like this.

Squeezing your eyes, your chin was lifted to the air along with the scream and moan from your mouth. He grabbed onto your hips—making you move back and forth on his dick while groaning with you, so the room was filled with nothing else but the sound of skin slapping that got louder each time you buried himself in you. You’ve lost your mind, you couldn’t feel your legs anymore. Why did the pleasure feel much more stronger now when both of you were no longer together?

“Fuck. Oh fuck,” he grunted through gritted teeth, pulling you closer to deepen the thrusted. Chin up to the air, you cried his name out—digging your nails into his shoulder whenever he quicken the pace. His cock was slapping your weak spot over and over again. It drive you crazy.

“Taehyung....” you whined—the courage to look at him were suddenly gone as you felt your chest was somehow heavy.

When you realised that you be able to touch him again like this—you felt like you just woken up from such nightmare. You could feel his skin, his lips, his eyes against yours—after being so lost and alone. You’ve missed him so much but you had no idea it was this much. 

Your cheeks were stained again. As he kept thrusting inside you, you couldn’t help the heavy cloud in your chest—making your silently sob on his shoulder. He wanted to look at you but you didn’t want to so you kept your face buried on his shoulder. You have lost that courage to see his eyes at times like this.

“You always feel this good. I’ve missed you,” he whispered along with a faint grunt—making you moan out loud with tears falling down from your eyes. It was a weird combination. Moaning and screaming his name in every thrusts, both of you were reaching the climax.

Few more thrust, he cum inside you—filling every space of your core with his warm release as your body jerked and flinched at the contact. Your legs felt like a jelly that you almost fell from him but he grabbed your hips right away.

Both you and Taehyung were panting hard on each other’s body after such intense and quick sex. You weren’t sure what was that sex for? Was this a goodbye sex or make up sex?

There was only silence but then, it was replaced with your small sob. The tears kept falling down from your eyes and stained his shoulder as you buried your face on the crook of his neck. The emotions that lingers in your head were too much, you couldn’t put it into words.

“Why are you doing this to me?” you spoke. A chill ran down in your spine as he stroke your hair softly while giving a soft rub on your hips using the other hand.

“Why are you making me like this, Taehyung! Tell me, you jerk!” you almost yelled before you pulled from him and punched his chest with your little might—trying to let go this slight anger in your chest. You pushed, punched and slapped his chest while sobbing like a crazy woman. He stared at you without saying anything before you finally stopped and became vulnerable again.

“Why did you make me fall this deep even I know, I can’t have you,” your voice crack.

He was cruel. He made you cry and now, he made you break Mingyu’s heart when that guy had nothing but love for you. But, after all these while, why did you still pick him instead of Mingyu? Why did your heart still want him, like this?

“I’m so sorry for hurting you like this,” he whispered—pulling your hands that covered your face before crashing his mouth again. He sucked on your lips like there was no tomorrow—probably get to taste the salty water from your eyes. The kiss lasted only for few seconds before he pulled away.

“I....I never knew that I wanted you this much until you left. Everything...everything felt so fucking empty when you aren’t here. Fuck, what did I do to us?” he took your face inside his hands. His deep eyes were trembling so much.

“You love her,”

“I was confused,”

“Don’t get it twisted, Taehyung,”

He shook his head.

“It made me angry to see you with him. I saw you that night...at the restaurant. I shouldn’t be mad but I did. I know he loved you and it drives me insane.The thoughts of you being with him, god, it’s crazy because I hate it,”

He wiped off the water from your eyes as he took every part of your face into his eyes. God, you’ve missed this. You thought you have lost it completely.

“What do you want, Taehyung?” a faint voice left your mouth.

“You. I want you. I know...what I did to you was too much. I know and I’m not asking you to forgive me now. But, let me fix this. Let me fix the broken parts of you,” his voice strained so much that you actually could feel his pain. Just as much as you do.

Tears prick again.

“I’d still want you even you ended up choosing her instead of me. That shit hurted but I’d still want you”

He shook his head, denying you immediately.

“Nothing happened between me and her ever since you left. The relationship wasn’t there because I couldn’t do it and she agreed for us to just stay as friends. Nothing more than that. She was my first love, yes but no matter how we tried, I realised that, my feelings for her were completely gone when you left. I thought it was her but no, baby. It was you,”

“Believe me, just this once,” he begged.

Swear to god, your heart bloomed like a spring. A small smile finally appeared on your lips as you stared at him. He talked sincerely with his eyes and you could see that. Twinkling and sparkling.

“I love you. I love you so much,”

He spoke and it felt genuine. You knew Taehyung wouldn’t be saying those words without actually meant it. You couldn’t remember when the last time he said that to you but listening to it again after a while, you were on a cloud nine.

You chest were full. The heaviness was gone in a blink of eyes. You nodded at him while biting down your lips before you wrapped your arms around his neck—burying your face on them.

“What took you so long to reply?” you whined softly.

He chuckled.

“I’m so stupid for taking this long,” his husky voice filled you.

“You are so stupid,” you sob—tighten your arms around him as if you didn’t want to let it go. Not anymore. Silence filled the space as both of you got immersed in such deep thoughts for a while.

“I love you too, Taehyung. I always do,” after a while, you finally got to let him know that. The sincere feeling that has been longing in you ever since you met him. It was still here to this day. Crazy.

“Can I date you?” he asked after few minutes of silence and without any doubt, you said nodded. He said the same thing to you before and it happened again. It felt like both of you just got back to the day 1.

Where both of you were young, reckless and in love. Perfectly right.

**

PS: I think I wanna open a fanfic request box. You guys can give me a request (genre: angst, smut, fluff) and I’ll make it happen (slowly, no tension). Also, ask me anything. I’m always opened for talk. And, thank you for enjoying this fanfic and its sequel. love u

[kagetatsumis]

tagged by @mareshes and @zofias to do a content creator year in review! hehe ty grace and zaiba <3

first creation and most recent creation of 2020: first creation: this emika chen edit wow i made a...lot of edits this year most recent: this soul of the sword quotes edit!

one of your favorite creations from 2020: literally every single sotf edit i made but i’ll pick the series edit for sotf because idk why i really like staring at the colors

a creation you’re really proud of: this is one of my fave edits and it took a LONG time so this spin the dawn edit

a new style you tried this year and a gifset that uses it: i don’t make gifs but i guess a new style i did was start actually doing cutouts of ppl? that makes no sense but i really liked this tid series edit that a lot of my newer edits for series kind of take on?

a creation that took you forever: this spin the dawn edit took me AGES omg i’ve never worked on an edit as long as i worked on this one

your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: holy frick this tfota edit has nearly 2k notes o.o this year was the year i first got (2) 1k+ notes on an edit and i’m still shook ngl

a creation you think deserved more notes: again every single sotf edit but maybe the sotf quotes one ?

a creation with a favorite scene/quote: the sotf quotes one for sure <3 this one + the one i made for soul of the sword and the upcoming night of the dragon one wreck me bc i just,, i love shadow of the fox okay (tho if we’re being real that spin the dawn edit quote >>>>)

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: does... sotf...count... idk what to say man i made 5 edits for sotf this year so,,, but also i finally read red winter so that edit then i guess

a creation you made that breaks your heart: i’m literally repeating the same answer but like LITERALLY ALL MY SOTF EDITS bc that series breaks my heart </3 but i’ll go with the first sotf edit i made bc the quote “nobody has ever shown you any kindness before, have they?” breaks me every time (wait til i do night of the dragon...then we’ll see)

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: does this count as simple? its kinda minimalistic i really liked this nikolai lantsov edit

a creation that was inspired by another one (add both your creation and the one that inspired it!): the inspo is tagged but i made this faenet song lyrics edit inspired by one from kate!!

a favorite creation created by someone else: i have a LOT of faves but this tvd edit by lauren is one of the prettiest things i’ve seen

some of your favorite content creators from the year: i’m going to miss people :sob: but @montagov @acotars @zofias @yanxi @williamsherondales @cortland @sunchosens @parrishes @mareshes @wrenhal @alexhenry @dragonrepublic @venka @suyins @tessawilliam + I’M SURE I’M MISSING SOME PEOPLE BUT LIKE YEAH

and for good measure, another a couple more creations of yours that you love: okay well this is random but this gabriel edit i really like; i pretty much listed all my faves up there ^^ but this time will be diff edit was also a fun one

nice, tagging uhh the people above and anyone else who wants to do it <3 yes this was just me plugging shadow of the fox the entire time but at this point are you surprised????

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Love, Maybe? {39}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Cursing, Heavy Angst

Word Count: 2K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

NOTE: **Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought. 

**Loosley Edited/Proofread**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊❤❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 39:  Breakdown

-Vixen-

 After driving for almost two hours, you made it to the airport and through the terminal to get on the next flight back to LA. The fact of the matter was you had work to do and couldn’t go anywhere else. Ella slept on the flight and you just stared out to nowhere. You were in a catatonic state and completely useless. It was the calm before the storm.

Making your way through LAX you didn’t think to try to disguise yourself or hide it hadn’t registered that your entire life had just blown up and you were no longer a private citizen, you were a commodity of the public. The rude awakening came when you were on the escalator holding Ella, your bag and one of hers and a few feet below was a sea of paps. Once it lowered for you to step off it began.

 “Vixen, over here. Vixen. Smile. Care to comment on the story that broke?”

 The snapping of the cameras was everywhere. It didn’t take long for Ella to whine and begin crying. When she did they didn’t stop and respect her, they only continued.

 “Do you think she looks like Chris, Vixen? Did you trap him in Vegas? How did this happen?”

You swallowed the ball in your throat and tried to push through them while holding Ella close. She held on to you fiercely as she bawled her eyes out. The sound of her cries coupled with the vulgarity of the questions a feeling of helplessness bombarded you. 

“Come on Vixen comment for the readers.”

“You’re Chris’ first black woman. No one knew Chris liked black women. We are all shocked. Care to comment on how you snagged him?”

“Trapped him perhaps?”

You couldn’t believe your ears and what they were insinuating. After a few minutes, airport security surrounded you and assisted you in getting out of the swarm and out to a waiting taxi. 

Once inside your primary focus was trying to console Ella. The entire ride she cried and the entire ride you held your shit together for her, but barely. The entire ride all you could think about was keeping your tears in and your breakdown at bay. Ella’s crying was slowly ripping at your soul.  

When the taxi pulled up to the house he helped you with the bags to your door and pulled off. After you walked into the quiet house you stood there and sighed. You could feel despair fill you, again you pushed it away and got upstairs to get Ella in a quick bath. She refused to let you go so you carried her to the kitchen to prepare her a bedtime snack. You fed her and then laid in her bed with her and sang her a lullaby.

 It took a little over an hour for her heavy breaths to normalize and for her grip to slacken on you. Finally able to move you sat up and just watched her. When you walked out, you slowly made it to your room. After closing the door, you just stood there unable to do anything. You walked to your bed, curled up and wept. The power of your sobs shook your bed, and the sounds of your cries filled the room. You buried your face in your pillows hoping to muffle the sounds so you didn’t wake Ella. The last thing you needed was for her to see you crying.

 An hour passed, then two, and three and still you hadn’t stopped crying. It was as if a deep sadness was finally being released and the tension and stress your body held was falling away. You felt a loss you fully understood, a loss you felt three years ago. It was the loss of hope. You’d fallen in love with him yet, again and again, he’d fucked it up. 

You didn’t hear your door open, all you felt were two pairs of arms wrap around you and the familiar scent of your mother and sister filled your nostrils. That busted open the gates of your sorrow and you laid there and cried.

 ~~~~~~~~~

 Four hours later, you were in the same spot doing the same thing. The only difference was you were alone now. Unable to get speech out you just pointed to the door after a few hours and they knew you needed to be alone. You hadn’t moved or spoken, and you didn’t feel like you could. All you could do was cry. You didn’t realize how much you’d held in and now that you were at your capacity everything poured out. You were able to fully experience and pour out all the pain, hurt, sadness and anger you’d tightly bottled over the last three years.

 Your mother and sister occasionally checked on you but Nex knew that you needed to be alone and you’d reemerge in your own time. Thankfully you had them, and they were well versed in handling Ella. The sun rose, you were in your bed with a tear-soaked pillow. The sun began to set, you were still there only on to a new pillow. It was a cycle. You always hated to cry, and you hated what you were doing right now, hated that this is what you were reduced to.

By nightfall, your tears stopped, but your anger returned full force. The more and more you thought about the last day the angrier you got. He’d known about this for weeks. He had every opportunity, but he lied.

 “Technically, he never lied.”

 You closed your eyes and tried to blot out that voice that always liked to emerge when it came to him. The voice that either downplayed something he did or urged you to be more open, let him in. Look at what he did, yet again.

 “To be fair, this isn’t all that different than what you did. Only thing he kept hidden was your marital status, you kept a whole child hidden.”

 Again, you closed your eyes, pressing them shut as hard as you could trying to blot out the sound of your own voice, the sound of the truth that you knew deep down.

 “If you’re going to be this angry about it, then you’re a hypocrite.”

 The voice was right. You were a hypocrite, but right now you didn’t give a flying fuck. He played you. Everything he’d done for the last few weeks had an angle. He manipulated you, minipulated the situation and your feelings.

 “You’re reaching and you know it.”

 Rolling your eyes, you moved for the first time and rolled onto your back and stared at the ceiling. The last night with him played in your head, the way he touched you, whispered to you, looked at you, it all felt so real. Once again you’d seen something that wasn’t there, and once again you were the fool for it.

 By the next day, you were able to get up and shower but every few minutes you’d stop what you were doing and just stare out to space being sucked back into yet another memory. You hated it because now you had so many you could be involuntarily pulled into, so many that could cripple you with overwhelming emotion and you couldn’t pick the emotion, it would pick you. You hated feeling emotionally out of control.

 Since seeing Chris again that is all you were, emotionally out of control. Though he said he couldn’t read you and never knew what you were thinking or feeling you felt as if everything you felt, and thought was easily seen.

 By the time you dressed and walked out it was already midday. As you walked out into the living room you tried your best to paste a smile on your face. As soon as you walked in Ella bolted to you.

 “Mama!”

 “Hi princess.” You lifted her in your arms and hugged her tightly. This was all that mattered, you thought.

 “How are you, baby girl? Did you eat?”

 She nodded and played with your hair then your face.

 “What do you wanna do? Paint? Movie?”

 “Paint.” Her eyes lit up and you smiled.

 “Okay, wanna help me get it ready?”

 She nodded. You put her down and the two of you went around the house gathering what you’d need and then put them in the backyard. For the next few hours, you painted with her and enjoyed every bit of her banter. She was the perfect distraction, the only thing you needed.

 A few hours later, you were sitting there just watching her make her sixth masterpiece, a finger painting with an assortment of bright neon colors. You sat there with a glass of wine in your hand just enjoying her.

 “Mama dis foe da-da. He wike it.”

 You took a deep breath and another sip of your wine and tried not to give anything away. This was your first test.

 “Okay.”

 “Wayo da-da?”

 Taking a shaky breath, you spoke. “He has a lot to do today honey. He’ll be by when he can, promise.” The answer seemed to be enough because she nodded and went right back to painting without another mention about him.

 By the time the sun set, you were sitting for dinner with your mom, Nex, and Ella. Conversation was sparse between the adults it was like neither of them wanted to address the big elephant in the room otherwise known as your marriage, the state of things and your future. You were in no hurry to breach any of the topics. While Ella talked you pushed your food around your plate barely getting any in your mouth. You were too lost in your thoughts. You didn’t even realize you were sitting there alone until you looked up and everyone was gone, your plate taken and silence around you.

 Walking around the first floor it was freakishly quiet. You found your phone in your bag and nodded when you saw it was dead. Climbing the steps, you peeked into Ella’s room and she was fast asleep. Once inside your bedroom, you pressed against the door, closed your eyes and took several calming breaths. No matter how you tried you never felt like you could take a full breath in, your chest felt heavy as if that elephant was sitting right there. You lugged across the room and plucked your phone in beside the bed and gave it a few moments before you powered it on.

 Again, you laid back and stared at the ceiling. You still couldn’t believe what was happening. Couldn’t believe that in the span of months your life had changed and weeks it changed even more and now it was the sight of a bombing. Losing yourself in your thoughts nothing registered until you heard incessant vibrating and bell notification sounds. It went off one after the other after the other. Grabbing your phone, you looked at the still vibrating phone and saw how much your life had blown up.

 You’d missed over fifty calls, had almost sixty messages, numerous emails, and things were still coming in. Tapping your calls log, you saw missed calls from each of your friends, your parents, Nex, Kassius, Zack, but the bulk of them were from Chris. Getting out of calls you went to your messages and saw almost thirty messages from Chris and the rest from those in your circle and Franklin from the restaurant. Groaning you sat up and tapped his messages.

 MSG Franklin: We’ve had paparazzi camped outside for hours. They’re making it a nightmare for customers to get in but we’ve had an influx of diners. It’s been crazy.

MSG Franklin: What do I tell them? Do I tell them anything?

MSG Franklin: Should I call the cops?

MSG Franklin: They are NOT going away.

MSG Franklin: Please advise.

 From his messages, it looked like he was losing his shit. Briefly, you scrolled through your messages intentionally ignoring Chris’.

 MSG Drea: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! You’re MARRIED!!!!!!!😳🤯

MSG Joan: Wow. Why all the secrecy?🤔

MSG Jia: YAAAAAAAAAAAS BITTTTTTCH. Get 👏🏾that 👏🏾good 👏🏾white dick.🍌🍌🤪

MSG Angi: So you’re a whole wife and mother? Wow, okay I see you Mrs. America’s Ass!!!!😈🥳🙌🏾

If you were in a different state of mind this may have been funny to read but it wasn’t. You couldn’t find the humor of this. Just then a message came in, showing over the screen.

MSG Chris: Vixen, please answer me. I get it I fucked up and I’m sorry. I really am. Let me explain. Please. We can’t leave things like this, not after everything. Please.

 You could hear his voice and it tugged at your heart. You could feel the sting of tears. Quickly you put it on silent and tossed it to the side then laid down hoping to sleep and wake and have this be a nightmare.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[calpalirwin]

B.U.B

Summary: Everyone got more than they bargained for when Ashton started dating Sam.

A/N: Ugh, this is such a bittersweet moment. The official end of my brain child with @creator-appreciator​ and our new trope: back up boyfriend (BUB). But what an appropriate note to end on: a wedding! If you haven’t read it, or need a refresher, be sure to catch all 5 previous parts of BUB under the miscellaneous portion of my masterlist!

Disclaimer: Not a poly!sos series!

Content: General bub tom-foolery wedding edition!

Word Count: 2k on the nose!

And away, and away we go!

__

Part 6

“Lazy day?” Ashton asked from his spot on the couch next to Calum when Sam came downstairs in leggings and a tank top.

“Nope!” she grinned at him. “Going dress shopping with the bubs and the girls.”

“Is it really a bub outing if I’m not there?” Calum asked.

“Wait, you’re not going?” Ashton asked, looking over at his friend. “What are you doing here, then?”

“Misery loves company?”

“Oh, you are not miserable!” Sam scoffed. “You’re just pouting because I told you you can’t come.”

“I don’t pout. I just find it unfair that you banished me from a bub activity.”

“It’s not a bub activity. It’s a wedding party activity. Of which, you are not technically a part of.”

“Princess, you’re forgetting a crucial piece of intel. And it’s that I am the party.”

“You’re still not coming, bub.”

Calum narrowed his eyes at her. “Have fun talking Luke out of glitter.”

“Have fun not knowing what the dress looks like,” she taunted back. Sam swiftly pressed a kiss to Calum’s cheek before kissing Ashton. “Have a good day, boys.”

“Bye, baby. Have fun,” Ashton told her while Calum sunk lower in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest.

~~~

“So, these are the colors,” Sam explained, pictures spread across the kitchen table, everybody listening intently. “The girls got their dresses and they are stunning! But all four of you still need to go get your tuxes. And when you do, take this color! This is the color!” She held up the photo in question, looking around at who she trusted most to hold on to it.

“I got it,” Calum said, snatching the picture out of her fingers. “Is there a different color you want Ash’s? Or mine for that matter?”

“No. Same color’s fine for you and Fletch too.”

“You don’t want him to match your dress?”

“Oh, her dress is beautiful!” Luke teased, seeing his opportunity and taking it. “Makes her look like a princess, Cal.”

“A queen, dumbass…” Michael sighed.

“Whatever. Point is, it’s a beautiful dress, and she looks amazing in it!”

“If you’re not this excited when we get married, I’m leaving you at the altar,” Sierra teased.

“You should leave him now,” everyone joked.

“Hey!”

“Oh! And Fletch! The flowers. Can you give this to Bryce down at the shop?”

“Yeah, I’ll give it to him next time I see him.”

“Good, good. And when is your family getting here?”

“Not til like the week of the wedding, wh- oh shit, Harry’s suit. Uh, I’ll tell him to go to a tailor to get his measurements and I’ll bring that with me when we all go get fitted.”

“Which you’re doing when?”

“When would you like us to do that, baby?”

Sam grinned, “You're so smart sometimes, Fletch. Can you guys go soon? Like next week?”

“You got it,” the boys saluted her. “Anything else?”

~~~

“Fletch!” Sam hollered from the backyard.

“What?!” Ashton asked, running to her, only to find her sitting beside the garden he’d been planting. “What are you doing?” he giggled.

“Trying to teach myself how to garden,” she stated.

“Mhm… why?”

“Because, Fletch!”

“Do you need help?”

“Yes! None of this makes sense!”

“What do you mean it doesn’t make sense?” he giggled again, coming to sit beside her.

“This!” She flashed the packet of flower seeds in her hand. “Plant in the warm season. What does that even mean? It’s California! It’s always warm season!”

“Why is this something you want to do?”

“Because it’s something you like doing, and I thought I would surprise you by doing it with you.”

“Aww! You don’t have to.”

“But I want to! It can be our thing!”

“So, if I take you to Home Depot right now, we can put some gardening stuff I’ve wanted on our wedding registry?” Ashton asked hopefully.

“Who needs fancy china anyway?”

“God, you’re the best! Okay, let’s go.”

“Wait!”

“What?”

“Call the guys. We might need help.”

A half hour later Sam was talking the ear off of a Home Depot employee. “So he wants to plant like real stuff. Like tomatoes, you know? But I think other stuff would look really good too. Like regular flowers and such. So, my question to you, is what would be the best things to plant if we were going to plant them, say, later this afternoon? What would we need?”

“Uh… I can show you what’s popular?” the clerk offered, either feeling completely out of their element or intimidated by the woman with all her questions and posse of 4 giant Aussie men.

“Lead the way!” Sam chirped.

“Oh, um, you wouldn’t happen to have those scanners for wedding registries, would you?” Ashton put in as they all started walking across the store to the garden section.

“You want to register for your wedding at Home Depot, sir?”

“Yes, please.”

“You don’t want to register at IKEA, or like a Target?”

“Nope! You guys got some great stuff here.”

“Okay…”

The wedding registry aspect of it proved to be useless as anything Ashton scanned, Calum, Luke, or Michael immediately grabbed with a “What? I want one too…”

“So, this is probably a crazy question, but c-can I be invited to your wedding? Like… nobody's going to believe me that this happened. That a couple registered here. I just… I gotta see what type of wedding would be thrown by people who register at Home frickin’ Depot,” the clerk asked as they rang everything up.

Sam hummed as she dug around in her purse, pulling out a small card and handing it over. “Yeah! Of course! I didn’t end up liking this design, but it’s got all the important information on it, so I hope this’ll do.”

“Holy crap, thank you!”

“Of course! Thanks for dealing with us.”

“You just carry invitations around in your purse?” Ashton asked Sam.

“You don’t?”

“I don’t have a purse… I have pockets.”

Sam rolled her eyes. “Just help the bubs.”

~~~

“Okay, my bachelor party and your bachelorette party,” Ashton started. “How do you want to do this? Cuz I know I have groomswomen, but I want my boys there too. And I imagine you probably want the same thing of wanting your bubs and your girls. So… separate weekends or joint party?”

“Joint party would just be a regular hang out.”

“Yeah but like… in a cabin in the mountains. Away from everything. Or separate weekends. You get everyone to do your thing with. Then I get everyone to do my thing.”

“But then we don’t get each other. And with a joint party we do.”

“I think the point of bachelor and bachelorette parties is so that way we’re not around each other, baby.”

“Then why’d you suggest a joint party, Fletch?”

“I didn’t. I was just laying out all the options.”

“Mhm… sure. A likely story.”

“Okay, I might be hoping that you pick a joint party because I think that’d be fun. A nice getaway with my closest friends and future wife. What could be better than that?”

“You do make a pretty good case.”

“So, joint party?”

“Joint party!”

The end of the month found the eight friends and Harry standing around in a cabin. “First order of business!” Sam declared. “Room assignments. Ashton and I get the master room. The rest are up for grabs. Second order of business! Once you find your room, come back with all the blankets and pillows so we can make our fort.”

“A fort?” Harry snickered. “What are you, twelve?”

“Aw, c’mon,” Ashton nudged his kid brother. “You’ve seen the pictures of our forts, haven’t you?”

“Oh, that’s like a for real thing? Thought it was a joke.”

“Fort Luke Sucks Balls is most certainly real. And for this weekend, you are an honorary member,” Sam told him with a bright smile.

“Uh… thanks? I think?”

~~~

“Mike… you were right,” Luke breathed as Sam turned around in her dress. “You do look like a queen, sweetheart.”

Sam blushed. “Thanks, partner.”

“You saw her try it on in the store last week,” Michael told Luke. “Idiot…”

“Well, yeah! But not with her hair all done up, and make up.”

“You’re right. Still an idiot, but you’re right. Wanna make a bet for when Ash starts crying?”

“Hmm…” Luke thought. “Tears up when she walks down the aisle, full on sobbing through his vows.”

“Oh, definitely with you on him tearing up when she comes down the aisle. But I’m betting he just does that thing where he clears his throat a lot rather than the blubbering during the vows.”

“Alright. So if I win, we have to change Fort Luke Sucks Balls.”

“And when you lose, a name change can never be proposed again by you.”

“Deal.”

The blondes shook hands to cement the agreement, each one certain they’d win while Sam rolled her eyes. A bet the was rendered null and void when Ashton A.) teared up when Sam came down the aisle, and B.) cleared his throat a grand total of 107 times (Michael counted) before quietly breaking down during Sam’s vows.

“I now pronounce you Hubasaurus Fletch, and Wifeysaurus Babe,” Calum announced. “Now kiss your bride before you start crying again.”

Ashton gave a half sobbed laugh, before cupping Sam’s face in his hands and ducking his head down to give her the world’s most heartfelt kiss.

~~~

“Alright,” Calum said into a microphone, getting the toasts started. “Hi, everyone, I’m Calum Hood. The wedding officiant, and only guest speaker for this evening.”

“The sensation!” Michael called out loudly, his hands cupped around his mouth.

“The bodacious!” Luke joined in.

“Ccccccaaaaaalllllllluuuuummmmmmm Hhhhhooooooooooooodddddd!” the group of friends all whooped, drumming their hands on the table.

“Okay, thank you!” Calum said with a squishy cheeked grin. “So, as you can imagine we all love Ashton and Sam so much. And when deciding this part of the night, we all wanted a chance to say something. But, we ultimately decided that a lot of our stories would overlap and that it would be too long, so I’m doing it on behalf of all of us. So, it goes without saying Ash, that you’re like a big brother to us guys. I don’t think it’s a stretch of the imagination to say that we wouldn’t be the people we are without you in our lives. And we’ll never be able to thank you enough for accepting a random Facebook message from a kid you didn’t know and helping us become what we are. And then there’s Princess Sam. Sorry, Queen Sam. I have never been happier to be proved wrong in my entire life. I’ve never been happier to have been wrong about thinking you were just some girl that wouldn’t matter in a couple of months. And I deeply apologize for everything I did in those first few months. In these last 5 years I’ve gotten to know you, it’s very easy to see the woman that stole my best friend’s heart. Because you stole all of ours too. And if I say anything else, I’m gonna end up like Ash here, so I’ll just end this by saying that I’ll forever be grateful that you two found each other, because it’s been nothing short of incredible. Here’s to the best years.”

Calum raised his glass, everyone else following suit, while Luke and Michael hopped up on stage next to Calum. Michael grabbed the microphone out of Calum’s hands while Luke got situated with a guitar. “Perfect toast for a perfect couple, Cal. And perfect segway into the newly announced Mr. and Mrs. Ashton Irwin’s first dance! Hit it, Luke!”

While Luke started strumming the opening chords to Best Years, Ashton led Sam out to the dance floor, spinning her in a slow circle before pulling her close. “I love you so much, baby,” he whispered for only her to hear.

“I love you too, Fletch. So fuckin’ much.”

__

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[puckinghell]

Don’t Wanna Lose It | Mikko Rantanen

Summary Request: Write something about Mikko!!! Maybe something angsty/ sth about signing his contract. Words: 2k  Note: If I suffer, you all suffer. I listened to Afterglow by Taylor Swift and Mirrors by Justin Timberlake while writing this. I should probably edit more but I can’t because it makes me sad. Enjoy. 

----

It’s excruciating, to see Mikko so down.

You’re trying not to stare at him from the other side of the kitchen, but you’re failing. At least Mikko won’t see you stare, because he’s keeping his eyes fixed on the floor.

There’s something about the hunch in his shoulders, the lack of excitement in his eyes, the tight set of his jaw. It hurts you, hurts you deep in your bones and your soul, and you want nothing more than to lift his spirits, to hold him and never let him go.

You can’t really do that. You lost that right when you messed it all up.

That night, two weeks ago, and you made a big thing out of a little thing and everything went wrong. Because of a misunderstanding. Because he’d said the wrong thing and you thought there was a reason to attack, because you blew everything out of proportion.

Contract talks had been weighing heavy on Mikko, and you knew it, too. You understood why he stayed in Finland, during it all, but that didn’t mean you didn’t miss him so much you could barely sleep at night. 

Sometimes, you went over to his flat, used the key he gave you for emergencies and curled up in his bed. In the beginning that helped. But after the first two months it had stopped smelling like him; not even his apartment bore any trace of him, and suddenly it was just another building. 

You talked, sure, through calls, facetime, texts, snapchat. It’s not the same, and it’s easier, to misinterpret things, when you can’t see someone, when their tone of voice is morphed through miles and miles of distance. 

That’s where it went wrong. 

“I’m just bored, here,” Mikko said through the phone. You could hear the frustration ringing clear through his voice, but you didn’t know what to do to get rid of it. “I have no one to skate with. I don’t have you. I just have my parents’ dog, and he doesn’t even really like me.” 

“You should come visit me in Denver,” you blurted out.

It was such a dumb idea.

The line stayed silent, and then, quietly, “I don’t think I can.” 

And there it was, that feeling of hot, burning anger, in the pit of your stomach. The sneer in your voice, when you spoke. 

“Why? I’m pretty sure you don’t need a contract to see your girlfriend.” 

You had no right to be so annoyed, but it was a lot to handle for you, too. It’s not like Mikko’s decision affected only him; you hadn’t seen your boyfriend in months. 

“Babe, I’m sorry,” he said, and now he sounded exhausted, which wasn’t much better than frustrated. “I can’t go there until I can play hockey again. I’m sorry. I can’t.” 

“Can’t, or won’t?” you snapped, and when he stayed quiet you knew the answer to that.

And that had been that. He hung up a little later, since you were no longer really participating in the conversation. No big fight, no big explosion, but a deep settled upsetting feeling in your stomach that you couldn’t get rid of the following days.

So you punished him the way you knew would hurt him the most; with silence. There was nothing that would get to Mikko like you ignoring him, nothing he hated more. You didn’t answer his phone calls, his texts begging you to talk to him. In fact, you didn’t talk much to anyone, pretty much lived like an island.

And he’d taken the hint. He stopped calling. 

So you were hurting even more. Because you were mad, and frustrated, and upset, and missing him, and now pretty sure you ruined it forever. Now you’re pretty sure even if he comes back to Denver, you won’t be seeing him. 

You knew what you needed to do, you just didn’t know how. 

Until there really was only one option left, and you got on the plane. 

And now, after a lot of hours cramped up in an airplane seat, you’re standing in Mikko’s kitchen in Finland, and he’s standing next to the counter, arms crossed and eyes fixed firmly on the floor.

It’s early morning, in Finland, even though your jetlag tells you it’s time to sleep. The morning light is almost ultraviolet, seeping in through the kitchen windows, and Mikko looks almost angelic, with his light blond hair and bright blue eyes.

Everything in you screams to go to him, hug him, kiss him.

You tell yourself you can’t.

When he opened the door his eyes had widened almost comically. He’d muttered your name, reached out for you, then stopped himself. It hurt. Not just that he wasn’t touching you, but mostly because you could see that he is hurt. More than you’ve ever seen him before, even after they got kicked out of the playoffs. 

And now you have to fix it, but it’s hard, to talk, when everything inside of you is screaming. 

“This is all on me,” you hear yourself say, and it’s almost like your voice is coming from outside; you’re not sure you’re sounding like yourself, but at least Mikko looks up, a little unsure, but at you, for sure.

That gives you the power to move on.

“It’s all me, in my head. I know I’m the one that fucked this up. But I need you to know that that’s not what I meant, Mikko. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t mean to make you choose. I was upset, and I lashed out at you, and that’s not fair. You didn’t.. you didn’t deserve that.” 

You swallow, try to focus on Mikko, if only to stop yourself from crying. It doesn’t work; your words end up a jumbled mess croaked out between tears. 

“It’s just that I miss you, you know? It’s hard, being so far away from you. And I don’t... it’s not your fault, I know I probably just ruined everything, but I... I don’t want to lose you, and I don’t wanna do this to you, I know I need to say sorry... I’m just scared that... Just don’t go. Please.” 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Mikko says, then, his voice a little rough still, but definitely awake now. “I’m trying to come home.” 

Home.

You break down, at that, finally let yourself go, and to your surprise, Mikko reaches for you and lets you collapse into his arms. His breathe is warm against the side of your head and he presses you into his chest, strokes his thumb over your back. 

“I always mess up,” you sob, “I don’t know why I always have to break what I love so much.” 

“Hey,” Mikko chastises softly, “you didn’t break this. We’ll be just fine.” 

And you need him to tell you that he’s still yours, that even when you break his heart, he’ll always just want you; but for now you’ll take what you can get, and if fine is that, that’s enough. 

“Am sorry I didn’t come to see you,” Mikko mumbles, and that’s when you pull back.

“No,” you try to sound stern, “you’re not allowed to take the blame now. Of course you can’t go to Denver now, Mik, I get that. I was just selfish, and I missed you, and everything sucks without you there. But that didn’t mean I had the right to hurt your feelings like that. That’s my fault. I take the blame for that.”  

“Yeah,” Mikko admits, “but this is hard for you too, and I didn’t really think about that. I just thought about what it means for me, but you’re part of my life, and I know anything that happens in your life affects me, so I should’ve realized that this contract stuff affects you, too.” 

“I don’t give a rat’s ass about the contract,” you sniff. “I just want to have you with me.” 

Mikko chuckles. “Well, you do now. I can’t believe you flew to Finland.” 

You give him a wry smile. “I need to say sorry, that I hurt you.” 

“It’s okay,” he repeats his earlier words. “I still love you. Even when you lose your mind.” 

His voice is teasing and you smack his arm for good measure, but then you press up on your tippy toes and kiss him. 

And that finally feels like coming home. 

It’s not until much later, when you’re tangled in the sheets, a mess of naked limbs and soft sunlight through the creak in the curtains, that Mikko brings it up again.

“I want to be in Denver, you know,” he says softly. His index finger has been tracing slow circles on your lower back, but now the movement stills. “Those guys, they’re like, my brothers. And I love the city, and the fans. And you...” He pauses. “I don’t know what I’d do if I had to move away from you.” 

“You won’t,” you tell him; a promise you can’t make. He grunts, knows it too; appreciates the sentiment, anyway.

“I don’t wanna lose it, what I build there.” Mikko sighs. “It’s a good thing I have an agent, because I would sign for league min if it meant I could go home today.” 

You reach out and thread your fingers through his hair; he hums in content, closes his eyes. 

“You’ll be back in Colorado,” you repeat. You have to say it. You have to believe it. There’s not really another option, not if you don’t wanna lose it, again. 

“But what if...” Mikko starts, but you interrupt him. That’s not a sentence you’re willing to let him finish, because that’s not a thought you’re willing to entertain. 

“Then we’ll figure that out later. I’m not losing you.” You try to smile at him, although you’re pretty sure he’s gonna look straight through you. “If we can survive my random self sabotaging outbursts, we can survive moving to a different city. But I’m telling you, we won’t have to. I think if they don’t sign you soon Gabe is gonna lock Sakic and your agent in a supply closet until they’ve got it figured it.” 

At the mention of his captain, Mikko’s eyes brighten.

“You believe that?” 

And yes, you do. Mostly because you have to. But also because anyone in their right mind would do whatever it takes to have Mikko there.

“I believe it,” you whisper. “We’re not losing what we have. I might lose my mind every now and then, but...” 

“But we won’t lose us,” Mikko adds, and well...

You look at him, at his bright blue eyes in the darkness, the truth in them as he looks at you with love. And you know you might mess up again; that’s something that’s a part of you, that ugly little monster called insecurity, that makes you lash out and hurt those you love.

But you also know you’ll always keep fighting for this, for him. 

Because no matter what NHL team he ends up playing for - although it better be the Avs - he’s the one you want beside you, no matter where it is, he’s a part of you, and that’s something that doesn’t happen all the time. 

Something worth holding on to. 

And you’re not gonna lose it. 

[nomadmilk]

Why the God Isn’t Bored on Midgard - Loki x F!Reader Drabble

Summary: ... It was all because he saw you.

Word Count: 2K (yIkEs)

Warnings: None? Partying? Jerk ex-boyfriend?

Author’s Note: I don’t know why this sounds like an essay... Maybe because I’ve written a lot in the past 3 years so it’s kind of pouring out onto my creative writing too?... This is also post-Ragnarok with IW & Endgame non-existent... Let me know if I should continue this, cause’,  I mean, the end of this sounds like it’s going to be in chapters... I’m just stuck between Loki smut chapters or one-shots *Shrugs*... Hope you like, anyway ^^. Also, as of 02.06.2019, it’s been edited slightly, cause some parts bugged me ToT

Here’s the links to the next parts: Part 1     Part 2 Part 3     Part 4 Part 5     Part 6 Part 7     Part 8 (First Half)     Part 8.5 (Second Half)  Part 9

Thor had been busy trying to find homes for his people, alongside Brunnhilde and Bruce, and, whilst Loki did his part as Prince of Asgard to help as much as he could, Thor knew the nature of his brother. Since his reappearance on Earth, Nick Fury and Stephen Strange had made regular visits to him since his arrival.

Obviously, they didn’t trust him due to past events, despite Thor’s protest of his good behaviour and little evidence of this. On the other hand, Loki was pretty sure he was on good terms with himself now.

He realised that humans forget as fast as they lived, compared to Asgard and Asgardians. He was able to sit in libraries and cafes without getting any harassment for what he did in New York. After a few days or so, he was quickly able to find a café he could attend. After a few more times of visiting them, the employees had begun remembering his order.

He sat down on his usual spot; an area where the café was able to open its walls and extend itself with a roof hood to provide shade for the customers. He positioned his seat halfway underneath the extended roof of the place, and halfway inside the shop, where he could enjoy the outdoor Summer weather without being amongst the crowd that it brought about. His feet would cross, legs spread, and his book rested in one of his hands. His coffee would be brought over, and he’d dip his head in gratitude before taking a sip of his drink.

Although on one day, he got distracted by a woman; her tears were flowing over her cheeks, but she was listening intently to the person opposite her… Her brother? Her boyfriend?

After surveying for a while, Loki guessed that it definitely was her boyfriend; she had tried to hold his hand, but he had swiftly avoided her touch by leaning back into his chair.

Despite the short distraction, he thought nothing of it at the time. It just confirmed a quality all humans seemed to have; attachment to sentimentality.

As he left, and a waiter awkwardly brought over one crying girl two hot drinks, Loki could finally tear his eyes away from the situation and back into his book, although, he had lost where he was on the page.

Being on Earth, without bringing hostility from anyone, became a bit dull, and Loki wasn’t sure of what to do with the spare time he had besides reading a good book, and having a hot beverage. When Thor made it mandatory to attend one of the Avengers outings, Loki absolutely protested. He almost got away from the occasion, but Brunnhilde had punched his copycat illusion of himself so hard that his real self could feel it in the library he was in.

So, Loki went socialising, to a club with the people he once fought quite violently with. Before anything, he was warned by a lot of people to not get into any trouble, and so, with a gritted smile, he followed his brother to a large building with booming thuds of music and lights blinking in and out of the windows. They were escorted through by bodyguards managing through a sea of people, some of which recognised the famous faces. As the Avengers gave waves, and Tony Stark couldn’t help but take pictures with some of them, it made the trip through the club slower, and annoying, and the more agonising for Loki. He couldn’t hear anything or anyone, and just wanted to focus on walking with the others to go where they were meant to go.

And then he saw you, again.

You had not noticed the Avengers, not bothered to take a picture with any of them. None of it seemed to make you pay attention as you were clearly distracted by the beat of the club song. He was surprised he recognised you; the last time he saw you, your hair was tied in a low bun, you were wearing a woolly jumper, and your face was blotched in red with all the sobbing you had done. But tonight, you had completely transformed; a dress that fitted you, your hair was styled, and your face no longer blotched from the tears.

There was a man, not the boyfriend, dancing really close behind you, and you welcomed it by clasping his arms around your waist.

The notion kept his eyes on you; your lips were covered with a matte red lip, and they spread to a smile. He saw your head lean back and rest on the man’s shoulder, closing your eyes in full bliss.

Loki couldn’t tear his eyes off you this time. This was different. He couldn’t remember exactly when he last saw you, but it wasn’t too long ago. Your break-up seemed terrible for you, and now you’re out here, grinding against a man you don’t know, as if there was nothing bothering you at all. The way you were swaying and in rhythm to the music; it was a careless, and a messy solution to an otherwise meaningless problem.

On the other hand, it was almost chaotic, and began to intrigue him about humans.

“Loki, get a move on.”

He feels Thor’s familiar grab hold onto his arm, and he drags them to where everyone else is. Loki had ordered a glass of red, which was mediocre compared to drinks he had on Asgard. The room they were in was a balcony with glass walls, where it was quieter and a more tolerable atmosphere than the one beneath them. He settled himself in a corner, checking on the people below as the rest of his group mingled. He scanned the floor, flitting his eyes through some faces.

It was way past midnight. He was tired and tipsy; although, not as tipsy as the others. Thor, as per usual, could handle is liquor along with Captain America. On the other hand, the spy, the marksman, and Tony Stark, especially, had to be carried out by the others, and Loki had to do his part by opening the doors for all of them.

As Tony’s bodyguard pulled over in a large vehicle, he caught you one last time for the evening, leaning against a wall, the man’s body pressed close to you. The sober Avengers were busy trying to put the drunk Avengers into the car, so Loki knew he has a bit of time to check up on what you’re up to.

He sees you frown and jerk your head away as the man leans in for you. Usually, Loki wouldn’t think about other people’s business, but he felt his blazer collar tighten. He loosened it, unbuttoning the coat, beginning to stride towards you.

But then he sees it; you punch him in the face, keeling from the pain from your knuckles. The man laughs, and Loki’s strides become longer and faster, until another thing.

He sees you knee the man in the worst place possible, and Loki couldn’t help but flinch and stop in his tracks. He watches, the man shouting profanities at you, as you hail a taxi and go into the first one the pulls over.

In all of Loki’s weeks on Earth, nothing has ever made him smirk as wide as you had made him.

“Hey! Gothic Gandalf!” Stark’s voice made Loki’s eyes roll. The billionaire was slurring and didn’t have very good nicknames because of it. “You better not be doing some trouble!”

When the night was over, the next day Nick Fury arrived at the tower for his regular examination of Loki’s behaviour. So, after a couple questions, and a scrutiny of his behaviour in the past few days, he had agreed to lessen his visits now that Loki had worked out to be a functional civilian.

“You’re ready for a house.” Nick said. “But it’ll be chosen by us and monitored by us.”

Thor agreed with a smile. “Well, it’s something.”

“Might as well just put me in a prison.” Loki replied.

“Well,” Nick stirred his coffee, “that is Plan B.”

A week later, Loki, Thor and Nick went through several estate agents to find an apartment. They  entered a few buildings within the city, however they all had to meet to an agreement; Nick wanted to make sure that the place wasn’t close t anything that could give Loki any ideas, Thor just wanted to know if it’s within distance with his house he was planning to get, and Loki just wanted to know why he couldn’t just stay with his brother because all the places he saw was not to his standard of living.

By the time they got to the seventh building, it was at a quaint corner of the city, ad Loki had long decided that he wasn’t going to agree until Fury had actually taken the time and been aware of his terms.

The place was the most decent than the others. He couldn’t hear any neighbours, the floors were evenly spaced, so that guaranteed even living in one of the apartments meant that he could get a decent night’s sleep, and that meant he didn’t have to conjure up anything to fix noise problems.

The Landlord of the place was really overselling it; he flourished in hand movements and waffled in adjectives that complimented the building; he could have just stated that all the apartments had new bathrooms instead of explaining it over five flights of stairs.

He unlocks the door, letting the three of them in. “And, here is the apartment.”

The apartment was occupied with books, a television, a soft sofa, a couple of shoes on the side of the shoe rack, some scarves and jackets on pegs, and the kitchen was sectioned out by a counter, and had a jarring pale orange and black colour scheme.

As the landlord gave information to Fury, who took interest for him, Loki was not impressed.

“It’s a good apartment – that’s the bathroom over there, looking beautiful – and this-“ the landlord opens another door. “And this is the bedroom.”

As soon as the landlord opened the door to the next room, Loki couldn’t believe what he was seeing; it was you, again.

Your expression was in absolute ire and bewilderment the moment they had opened the door. You begin to raise your voice at the landlord, and the landlord begins to save face by angrily putting a front.

Thor crosses his arms, watching you increasing in anger at a situation you weren’t prepared for. “I don’t think this place would be good for you, brother.”

Loki was still stunned by your presence; you were beginning to shout, and Nick Fury was trying to dissolve the situation.

“I liked the previous apartment better.” Thor continues, making sure no one heard him besides Loki. “The person head of the building there didn’t understand us much, but you could definitely tell she was stubborn, and she wouldn’t be putting up with your…“

Loki drowned his brother out in the background. It was mere coincidence that he saw you in the café, in the club, and now in your own apartment. And his brow furrowed at the pattern of it. Was this Strange’s doing? Was this Fury’s? Either way, he wasn’t happy with it being all planned, if it is.

Who are you? And why are you reoccurring in his life?

As his thoughts trail as he looks at you, you catch a glimpse of him, only to immediately look back to him; for the first time, you see him too.

“…Y/N. Just Y/N…” He catches wind of your name as you turn back to Fury.

The rest of your words flew over Loki’s head; you were too wound up with the argument that you didn’t acknowledge your lack of pants, and the fact your blouse was loose around you. You looked as dishevelled from the last time he saw you, like you hadn’t recovered from the club. He couldn’t admit to himself that he was staring at you. He’s seen you get angry, and sad, and messy…

What else have you got?

“I’ll take the place.” Loki said. “I can move in as soon as possible.”

It was rich seeing your jaw drop.

Nick Fury stopped protesting, realising the change in Loki’s behaviour towards you; if he’s distracted, he should be less of a problem.