#Exploring existential uncertainty

[omegaphilosophia]

Exploring the Paradox: The Convergence of Heaven and Nihilism

In a seemingly paradoxical twist, the concepts of heaven and nihilism intersect at the edges of human understanding, offering contrasting perspectives on the nature of meaning and perfection. While heaven is often associated with ultimate fulfillment and perfection, nihilism challenges the inherent meaning of existence. In this thought-provoking blog post, we will delve into the intriguing convergence of heaven and nihilism, exploring how these seemingly opposing viewpoints shed light on our quest for meaning.

Heaven as the Culmination of Meaning: Heaven, often portrayed as a realm of perfection and ultimate fulfillment, represents the pinnacle of human aspirations for a meaningful existence. It embodies the ideal state of being, where all desires are met, and harmony prevails. From this perspective, heaven is viewed as the endpoint of the search for meaning, encompassing abundance and fulfillment in every aspect of existence.

Nihilism: The Perfection of Nothingness: In contrast, nihilism challenges the very notion of inherent meaning and purpose. It posits that life is devoid of objective significance, highlighting the absence of inherent value and purpose in the universe. From a nihilistic perspective, perfection lies not in abundance, but rather in the recognition of nothingness as the ultimate truth. Nihilism embraces the idea that in the absence of imposed meaning, one is free to define their own sense of perfection.

The Paradox of Perfect Nothingness: The convergence of heaven and nihilism reveals a paradoxical perspective on the nature of perfection. While heaven embodies perfection through abundance and fulfillment, nihilism perceives perfection as the acceptance and embrace of nothingness. This paradox challenges our conventional understanding of perfection, inviting us to contemplate alternative interpretations of meaning and fulfillment.

Meaning in Imperfection: A deeper exploration of the convergence of heaven and nihilism prompts us to question whether perfection is inherently tied to meaning. Nihilism invites us to find beauty and significance even within the imperfections and limitations of existence. It challenges us to seek meaning not in an idealized state of perfection but in the acceptance and embrace of our flawed and finite nature.

Embracing the Journey: Rather than perceiving heaven and nihilism as irreconcilable opposites, we can view them as complementary aspects of the human experience. Heaven represents the longing for transcendence and the pursuit of ultimate meaning, while nihilism reminds us of the importance of questioning and critically examining established meanings. Both perspectives contribute to our ongoing journey of personal and collective discovery.

The convergence of heaven and nihilism challenges our preconceived notions of meaning and perfection. While heaven embodies the quest for abundance and fulfillment, nihilism questions the inherent meaning in existence. By exploring their convergence, we open ourselves to a richer understanding of the complexities of the human experience and the diverse interpretations of meaning. In this exploration, we find room to contemplate the significance of imperfection, the power of individual interpretation, and the ongoing search for personal fulfillment in the face of existential uncertainty.

In embracing the paradoxical nature of heaven and nihilism, we embark on a profound philosophical journey, questioning traditional assumptions and exploring the intricacies of human existence. As we navigate this intellectual exploration, we gain insights into the diverse perspectives on meaning, purpose, and perfection, ultimately enhancing our understanding of the intricate tapestry of the human experience.

[ereh-emanresu-tresni]

I have Saturdays free and thus a full and contiguous weekend for the first time in nearly a year and a half starting tomorrow and I am. So hyped omg

[writing-for-life]

Dream's Therapist

I’m not sure if I should apologise for this brain fart in advance, but it just found its way to the page after this. Yes, this is how my brain works (or rather doesn’t)…

Intake Session

The client presented for his intake session on 22/04. When he made his appointment, he showed particular interest in the fact that this is an integrative therapy practice which uses cognitive, behavioural, somatic and Jungian approaches and is also versed in sex therapy. Naturally the ethical kind.

He was extremely on time (that is to say, close to three hours early), but he insisted on spending that time in the waiting area instead of coming back later. My receptionist assured me he did not move from the offered chair during that time and that he, in fact, did not move at all. She occasionally had to check (inconspicuously of course) if he was breathing.

Upon entering my office, he was polite if slightly aloof. He was dressed all black and refused to take off his coat. No problems with personal hygiene could be perceived from a distance. After getting seated, he enquired whether I could dim the lights ever so slightly because it was too bright, to which I agreed.

I noticed his staring at the crystal paperweight on my table for an extended period of time before he, seemingly out of nowhere, asked: “I trust your office is a mere illusion, a fleeting moment in existence?”

DT: Something like that I guess. What brings you here?

Dream: Well, I have these recurring nightmares. Not while I am sleeping, since I obviously don’t sleep.

DT: Obviously.

Dream: I create them.

DT: The nightmares?

Dream: Yes. And all of a sudden, they all suffer from… existential dread instead of helping to get rid of it. Also, my hair keeps getting tangled and knotted all the time, but I am not quite… certain if this relates in any way.

DT: Interesting. And how does that make you feel?

Dream (deadpan): Feel? I don't “feel”. I weave narratives, conjure nightmares, and occasionally attend celestial tea parties. Emotions are for mortals. The hair is inconvenient though.

DT: Right. Let's explore your childhood. Did you have any issues with your family?

Dream (I notice uneasy shifting in his seat): My family? My father, always running late. My mother… (I notice a slight tremble in his bottom lip)… well, she is… dark. My sister, Death, tells me I am a buzzkill, especially at family gatherings. Truthfully, I believe all my siblings are just trying to gaslight me into believing so because I can be… quite entertaining? (I notice uncertainty). Plus, one of them is… let's just say: they are the reason I have commitment issues.

DT: Commitment issues. Let’s expand on that a bit. Have you ever been in love?

Dream: (I notice extreme rigidity): Love is a quaint human invention, like gluten-free pizza or reality TV.

DT (I don’t know what that means and ignore it): I sense reluctance around the topic?

(He stares at the paperweight for a good 3 minutes)

Okay, let's try word association. I'll say a word, and you respond with the first thing that comes to mind. Ready?

Dream: Proceed, mortal.

DT: Sand.

Dream (I notice a raised eyebrow and a slightly tetchy sigh): Golden grain sifting through my fingers.

DT: Pillow.

Dream: A convenient weapon during astral battles.

DT (I momentarily feel confused and lose my footing, to which he reacts with)

Dream: I could show you? (I notice he makes a move to get up from his seat)

DT: That won’t be necessary right now… Word association: Unicorn.

Dream: (I notice grave seriousness) My ex-wife. I think.

DT: That should suffice for now. Let’s briefly discuss coping mechanisms. How do you handle stress?

Dream: Stress? When the universe unravels and the fabric of the Dreaming tears, I binge-watch reality shows. The Kardashians, mostly.

DT: Why the Kardashians?

Dream: Distraction. Inspiration. For all manner of things. Mostly nightmares.

DT (I notice the recurring theme of nightmares): Do you hold any hopes or dreams for the future?

Dream (I notice a nervous twitch around his mouth which he tries to hide unsuccessfully): I am the King of Dreams. Dreams shape reality itself. But if you must know, I dream of a world where everyone flosses regularly and understands general relativity.

DT: Why is flossing important?

Dream: I just like good teeth.

DT: Why general relativity?

Dream: Because it would help. With ships.

DT: What ships?

Dream (I notice eye-rolling and bridge-of-nose-pinching): Never mind.

DT: It’s okay, we can talk about anything that seems important to you.

Dream: It is of no import. Is time up yet?

DT: No.

Dream: Good, I shall leave then.

DT (I feel confused but try not to show it and respect the client’s wish to leave. I’m getting paid either way): Same time next week?

Dream (who is already standing): Time is a mere construct. But yes, let us pencil it in. And remember, reality is just a draft…

Further notes: The client suffers from insomnia and thinks he creates nightmares. He potentially has internalised he is one. He seems detached from his feelings to the point he believes he does not have any emotions and does not seem to relate to being human. He feels misunderstood by his whole family and suffers from the delusion that his sister is Death. He makes another of his siblings responsible for his failed relationships, which has led to the ingrained belief that love is not for him. He seems to compensate with believing he is above others and refers to himself as the “King of Dreams”. I notice a tendency to shirk potentially painful topics. He seems to communicate diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities apart from binge-watching TV, but he seems quite enamoured with the concept of astral battles and general relativity, which requires further exploration…

Next Session >

[lovehotelreservation]

Self Love

Summary: Bound by bestowed duty, burdened by the fate of countless, it only made sense that you, Meteor, and Clive would share not just many things in common, but a bed together.

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Clive/F!Reader/Meteor

tfw i've been cooking up this double penetration since the fanfest london announcement 🧍‍♀️

sorry to wols who don't main smn i hope you and everyone else still enjoy milking clive and meteor 🙇‍♀️

--------------

As a Warrior of Light, it was a wonder how you were able to constantly find yourself trapped between a rock and a hard place.

To which your roguishly rugged handsome companion would grin and cheekily comment something along the lines of “Well, my name is Meteor after all.”

And it was by this you would test his mettle and knowledge of Paladin as you called forth the fierce might of Phoenix in response.

Though, then again, you did have to be very mindful of mentioning the likes of “Phoenix” and “eikon”, lest you cast your other rugged yet sullenly handsome companion into yet another frenzied existential fit.

Clive Rosfield.

Poor man had just barely dragged himself out of the storm of having to comprehend how he managed to find himself plucked from his motherland of Valisthea only to be unceremoniously flung to the world of Eorzea, where he would cross paths with you and Meteor.

Thankfully, he was in the company of those who were well familiar with the concept of traveling dimensions. Meteor was the one to give Clive a reassuring pat on the back as he affirmed that it would just be a matter of when until some means to return him to his universe was found.

For now, as he cheerfully suggested, Clive could tag along with the both of you, joining your trek to venture to lands yet to be visited by either of you. The world had just been saved and the realm beckoned to be explored.

While understandably conflicted at first–what with thoughts of home, his brother, his friends at the Hideaway and across the Twins, and more weighing on his mind–Clive eventually relented and agreed to join. In such a foreign yet strangely familiar world, any lessons, techniques, and even powers he could acquire here to bring back to his world to bring forth needed revolution and change, then so be it.

He just had to quickly get used to you calling forth vastly different versions of Ifrit, Titan, Garuda, Bahamut and Phoenix with a mere book and a glowing foxdograbbit.

Similarly, while you and Meteor had seen your fair share of madness across your journeys together, you both couldn’t help but be in awe whenever Clive drew forth power from the eikons of his world that mirrored so perfectly with the primals of Eorzea, to even witnessing him prime into the infernal behemoth that was his Ifrit while squaring off with foes and hunts alike alongside you both.

Sharing tales of triumphs and losses over a campfire within the Black Shroud, offering knowledge that could only be learned in the heat of battle while sailing through the azure skies on an airship to Radz-at-Han, keeping watch of one another while treading treacherous ground through Coerthas, unwinding in the comforts of a local izakaya in Kugane after a hard day’s effort–this in turn had the three of you to bonding ever so closer together. After all, each of you had borne the burden of being savior in your respective worlds, carried forth the hopes and dreams of friends and allies present and past, maintained the balance of using your bestowed powers responsibly and striving to not allow self-doubt and greed corrupt your hearts so, and much more.

Beneath the warmth of the afternoon sun, your days together would be spent in glorious adventure.

Whereas underneath the dreamy glow of the evening moon, your nights were bathed and adorned in absolute euphoria.

All because Meteor couldn’t help but grin the very instant he noticed the way how Clive’s eyes would linger on you whenever the moment allowed for it, the shift from morose uncertainty to shy yearning reflected in those deep cerulean irises of his.

And with how long he had been adventuring with you all this time, he would be much too ashamed if he failed to notice that dreamy, awestricken stare of yours every time you marveled at Clive whenever he demonstrated his beastly prowess in battle.

The visitor and the host.

Experienced in combat yet naive with romance was the former.

Always thinking about the bigger picture and much too used to putting the needs of the world before one’s own desires was the latter.

Meteor, however, stood right in the middle and was ever eager to bridge gaps.

In this particular case, he did just that by keeping you sandwiched right between him and Clive as the three of you were tangled together in bed. Clothes and armor were long discarded and strewn across the floor of your inn’s suite, ensuring that nothing would get in the way of your two rugged companions and their wandering hands along your body.

As to be expected, Clive was curious with every touch as he lied beneath you, his fingers basking in the warmth of your bare skin as they sought to find which spots pleasured you most. Every moan you let you had his breath caught in his throat–a precious action soon followed by a burning need to elicit as many mewls of his name from your lips as much as possible.

By contrast, Meteor was ever proud as he quipped that he knew your body best–even better than you when he felt more daring. Maintaining his position above and behind you, he boldly grabbed at your breasts and gave your ass a few good slaps, with each gasp he earned in response being demonstrated as a reward that Clive could also earn were he to handle you in a similar way. And while stepping in as teacher had its own unique fun, he relished in being able to make you melt and crumble underneath him with every knowing stroke and plunge of his fingers.

Despite their different approaches towards you however, both were in absolute agreement in ravishing you thoroughly. With you caged between two broad and sturdy physiques of divine, chiseled muscle, you were kept perfectly in prime position to have Clive and Meteor plunge their thick, long cocks inside of you in tandem, leaving you crying out in sheer bliss as your core and your ass were subject to their relentless pounding.

“You’ve gotta find it rather humorous, mate–” Letting out a breathy laugh, Meteor pushed back his sweaty bangs away from his eyes as he peeked over your shoulder to glance at Clive, a grin plastered on his lips. “–you used to keep your distance from our lovely summoner every time that book was out, but now you can’t even stand to be a step away!”

At once, Clive had his eyes shut firmly tight, far too overwhelmed by the sinfully sweet sensation of the dripping wet velvet heat of your core continuing to squeeze around his cock. Yet at Meteor’s words, his eyelids fluttered open as he hoarsely responded with, “Could you blame me?” all while his hands reaffirmed their hold on your hips.

His cheeky grin now more of a wicked smirk, Meteor remarked, “Not in the slightest! After all, I speak from experience…!”

Upon the last word he uttered, his posture hunched forward as he proceeded to ramp up the pace and intensity of his thrusts, barreling his dick into your ass with feverish frenzy.

“And what’s that supposed to mean, Mete–!”

Though you were made to squeal all the more, you were ready to turn back towards Meteor with a stern questioning look, were it not for him already prepared for your reaction. Before you could complete your sentence, you suddenly found yourself pressed further down against Clive, the gentle yet heavy weight of a hand on the back of your head urging you to lock lips with him instead.

“Now, now, love–while I’ll never get enough of having your eyes on me, you’ve got a primal to master! Focus!”

Meteor’s laughter filled your ears while Clive’s tongue clumsily found its way into your mouth.

While you were eager to get back at the former, it was as your eyes found its way to the latter’s that you truly found yourself speechless.

The pure adoration held for you that was reflected in Clive’s eyes had your heart flutter and your hands quickly cupping his grizzled jaw as you hungrily reciprocated his affection.

And as the two of you kissed, you felt the stubble of Meteor’s chin scratch against the nape of your neck as he kissed your skin, making sure to press further down against the points that made you shiver most.

Stuck in the middle between the two men who cherished you most, you knew you weren’t going to be leaving the bed anytime soon tonight—especially when they had so much love they wished to pour inside of you over and over.

Even so, you were more than delighted to be in your current position. From this day onward, regardless of where your paths may lead as they split and twist, you would find your way to back to them, even worlds apart. 

[savantfilm]

"Lost in Translation" (2003) emerges as a tender, introspective masterpiece from the visionary mind of Sofia Coppola, intertwining the lives of two lost souls in the bustling heart of Tokyo.

Scarlett Johansson's portrayal of Charlotte is a revelation, exuding a quiet yet profound sense of yearning and existential uncertainty. Opposite her, Bill Murray's performance as the jaded Bob Harris is a nuanced exploration of midlife crisis and emotional isolation, laced with his signature wit and vulnerability.

Coppola's direction delicately weaves together moments of serenity and disconnection, capturing the alienation amidst Tokyo's neon-lit landscape. The film's narrative unfolds like a melancholic poem, inviting audiences to immerse themselves in the unspoken connections forged between two strangers adrift in a foreign land.

Lance Acord's cinematography paints a mesmerizing picture of Tokyo's bustling energy, juxtaposed with the tranquil intimacy of late-night conversations, evoking a sense of both longing and belonging.

"Lost in Translation" isn't just a tale of fleeting encounters; it's a contemplation on the transient nature of human connections and the profound impact a shared moment can have on one's soul. It's a cinematic reverie that resonates long after the credits roll, inviting reflection on the complexities of life, love, and the beauty found in fleeting connections.

[dutifullynuttywitch]

Things left unsaid

Blades of Light and Shadow

Summary: A continuation/slight rewrite of Blades 2 Chapter 3. Autumn reunites with Mal after her escape from the Shadow Realm. She stays the night to explore their relationship after a year apart.

Warning: Ⓜ️🔥 Angst, Explicit/NSFW 18+

Pairing: Mal Volari x f!mc (Autumn Nightbloom)

Word count: 1,900

At the orphanage, after having tucked away the children for the night, Autumn, Mal, Nia and Tyril discuss what she’s learned from her time trapped in the Shadow Realm and the latest existential threat. The conversation turns to finding the last member of their party, Imtura.

Mal sits back in his chair and exhales sharply.

“I may have been keeping track of her. She’s been hanging around a tavern in a village about a day’s travel from Whitetower.”

“So what are we waiting for, then? Let’s go find her.” Autumn makes to get up, mind set on the mission ahead.

“I think it would be best if we waited until the morning, Autumn. That way I can make arrangements for acolytes to look after the children while we’re away. And some of us could use a good night’s sleep…” Nia looks pointedly at Mal.

“I’m fine, Nia,” Mal waves off his friend’s concern, “let’s go find the princess and get this Ash Empire-busting show on the road.”

But his quip doesn’t quite land, Autumn notices. And his trademark smirk doesn’t reach his tired eyes.

“Nia is right.” Tyril declares, “Let us all get what rest we can tonight. From the little you have shared, Autumn, our quest will be far from easy. We can meet up at the palace at first light to gather supplies for the road.”

Everyone nods their agreement.

Tyril pushes off from his chair, followed by Nia.

Autumn hesitates, glancing Mal’s way, suddenly unsure.

She catches him looking at her intently, in his eyes a mix of uncertainty, sorrow and longing.

She feels an ache in her heart.

In her messed-up, altered memory, it had been mere days since they’d laid in a loving embrace in her palace chambers, sharing dreams and promises of a life together.

But he’d gone through a whole year’s worth of growth and experiences without her. Her very surroundings, this orphanage, a testament of it. How much had he changed? Had he found a different kind of happiness in her absence? Was he still her Mal?

“I’d like to stay here tonight, if that’s okay with you?” She asks softly, tentatively.

Mal exhales a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “Of course, kit, I’d like that.”

“We’ll see you both tomorrow, then. Try to get some rest.” Nia stops behind Mal, giving his shoulders a gentle squeeze. He nods, giving her a soft smile in return.

“And I know I’ve said it a dozen times already but it’s so good to have you back, Autumn.” She beams, wrapping her dear friend in a tight hug before stepping out into the night.

The moment the door clicks shut, a palpable tension settles in.

“It really is.” Tyril nods his farewell, a smile tugging at his lips.

Mal and Autumn observe each other from opposite ends of the table, faces in turmoil.

Afraid to release the weight of unspoken truths.

Elation at being reunited, but also uncertainty… and a latent anger at all the stolen time.

Her growing anxiety at feeling left behind, her friends having shared a whole year’s worth of living while she’d been locked away, frozen in time. The cold terror that grips her whenever she thinks of her recent imprisonment, knowing that Valax could open another portal at any time, anywhere, to drag her away again. Incapacitate her. Cut her open and steal more of her blood and life away from her. How Autumn feels utterly powerless to stop her.

His guilt at having failed to stop Valax from taking her, failed again and again in his attempts to free her from the Shadow Realm. A deep-seated trepidation, knowing he can’t possibly protect her against such a powerful enemy, though he’d readily give up his life for her. Shame he’d lost hope in ever seeing his kit alive again… He doesn’t deserve her.

But he sure as hells can’t live without her.

Suddenly, Mal strides across the room and lifts Autumn into his arms, pulling her into a searing kiss. He tries to convey all of the love and fear and hurt and regret.

All the emotions he can’t make himself say out loud.

She holds on to him for dear life, returning his kiss with just as much fervor, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“Autumn, gods how I’ve missed you. You have no idea, this past year without you, I can’t even…” He trails off, burying his face into the crook of her neck, sucking in a ragged breath.

“Mal, I’m right here.”

Neither can promise it will be all right.

Not until all the rifts have been sealed and the threat gone. And even then, some scars may never quite fully heal… but at least they have here. now.

Mal cups her cheek tenderly. He captures her lips once more, softly, coaxing, seeking entry. She moans as he parts her lips, tasting her.

She loses herself in his kisses, threading her fingers into his much shorter hair as his hands explore her, rediscovering, caressing, sending delicious shivers up her spine.

He pulls her flush against him, and she can feel his need.  

“Hmm Autumn, I’ve missed this, gods I’ve missed you.”

“How about you show me just how much, my handsome rogue?” She whispers in his ear.

His fingers tighten on her hips, eyes darkening at her invitation.

“Your desires are my command, kit.”

She makes to unbuckle his armor straps but he stops her, warm hand over hers. “Wait, let’s take this somewhere more… private.”

He lifts her up, carrying her up a few flights of stairs as she distracts him, lithe fingers caressing his face, soft kisses peppering his jaw and neck.

He takes her into a vast attic room and lowers her reverently onto a soft bed.

The moon shines through a large slanted window, bathing the room in an ethereal glow.

As he unstraps his weapons and armour, she takes in her surroundings, curious.

The room is sparsely furnished, with an imposing dresser off to one side. She spots a table cluttered with papers, maps, parchments and a few leather-bound books. On a far wall stands a cabinet filled with artifacts, jewelry, golden goblets and knives. A few richly colored Parnassian rugs strewn across the floor.

He catches her appraising gaze and sweeps an arm across the room with a flourish.

“Welcome to my humble abode, kit.”

“I like it. It’s very… you.”

“Is it now?”

He smirks as he peals off the last of his clothes slowly, teasingly, then settles down next to her.

“But right now, I’m more interested in the man than the place…”

She marvels at his naked body, drinking him in.

Mal trails hungry kisses down her jaw, her neck, undoing the straps of her dress with practiced movements.

She sighs, then gasps, as he pulls off her dress in a smooth motion, blazing a hot trail along her chest with his mouth and tongue, calloused fingers caressing her stomach.

“I have to say, your presence vastly improves the place, kit.” He whispers onto her skin, his beard titillating her senses.

"Oh Mal, ever the charmer." Autumn giggles breathlessly.

Mal trails bites followed by hot kisses from her breasts to her collarbone, then neck, before recapturing her mouth in a hungry kiss.

“Gods Autumn, you’re stunning. A work of art.”

“You’re not so bad yourself, your magnificence.” She purrs as she trails her fingers along his chest down his chiseled abs, wrapping her hand around him, stroking, relishing in his deep groan.

He caresses every inch of her skin with deft fingers and his wicked mouth, rediscovering her and delighting in all the wonderful gasps and moans he elicits. Mal fully intends to show Autumn just how much she means to him, how much he missed her, by ravishing her and worshiping her for as long as she’ll let him.

The delicate, teasing caresses soon overwhelm her senses.

“Ah yes, gods Mal… just like that.”

She gasps as he finally kisses between her thighs, every brush of his talented mouth and fingers provoking wave after wave of intense pleasure.

“Hmm… Autumn, you taste as good as I remembered.”

She’s on the verge of unravelling under his praises and caresses.

“Mal! Please, I need you, all of you.” Autumn tugs at his shoulders, desperate to kiss him, feel his body against hers, feel him inside.

He chuckles at her commanding tone and happily obliges, wrapping her into his strong arms as he sinks into her, both groaning at the delicious sensation.

He sets a slow, languid pace, intent on teasing every ounce of pleasure out of his wonderful kit.

The feel of his powerful body moving against her, his familiar scent soon overwhelm Autumn. She urges him on, increasingly impatient, pleading. Their rhythm grows frantic, until they both cry out, reaching their peak together.

“Well, that was... exquisite.” Autumn sighs contentedly, sinking back into her lover’s arms.

She gazes up to find Mal smirking, self-satisfied.

“Now don’t let it get to your head, your magnificence.”

“Can’t help it if I’m good at everything I do…” He drawls smugly, avoiding a pillow aimed at his face.

He wraps her in his arms, basking in the afterglow.

His fierce, beautiful kit. Back in his arms after so many desolate months.

Mal caresses her tenderly as they both fall into a contemplative silence.

After a while, he looks at her, eyes tinged with sorrow. “You know, I dreamed of holding you like this every night you were gone, Autumn. I tried so hard to find a way to get to you. I… I’m sorry I let you down….”

“Mal, you kept looking, you didn’t give up on me. It means a lot.” She smiles sadly.

Mal winces, the familiar pangs of guilt back again.

“I’m not saying I wouldn’t have appreciated a rescue party say, a year ago,” she smiles wryly, “but we all know crossing the realms is near impossible. I know you all did everything you could to reach me. I keep wondering… if I’d somehow been able to wake up sooner. Escape sooner…”

“What do you remember from your... captivity?” He asks cautiously.

Her body grows tense in his arms.

The nightmares.

Her friends, Mal, taunting her, attacking her.

Flashes of the lab. Feeling trapped, strapped onto a gurney.

Unable to move or scream.

Sharp pain.

The smell of blood… her blood…

Over and over again.

She is unable to speak, frozen. The emotions too raw. Unable to process. Not yet.

Mal holds her tighter, protectively. Wishing he knew how to take away her pain.

“Autumn, I’m here for you, no matter what. Whatever you need, I… I won’t let anyone hurt you again.”

His assurances slowly pull her away from those dark memories and back into the present.

Back to this moonlit room. To the relative safety of her lover’s arms.

“I know.”

She manages a weak smile before burying her face in his shoulder, breathing in his scent, trying to center herself.

They still have so much to figure out, to talk through. They’re still in mortal danger. About to embark on yet another impossible mission.

But for tonight, at least, they can find some solace in each other’s arms.

[magictavern]

also if you enjoy cohen's monster culture paper, i have two other pieces to recommend for further lines of thought -- first, mieville's theses on monsters. it's annoying and obtuse in the way that mieville's academic writing often is (i enjoy him but Jesus Christ), but i think the core of it is a really engaging and quick exploration of what we mean when we deploy the concept of monstrousness, and how monstrousness requires a certain uncertainty and inability to be pinned down.

second: theses on plant horror (this is a shortened version of the original piece, and i think you can get a full scan on academia dot edu but i am NOT sending anyone there without proper warning). it's very overtly riffing on the form and style of cohen's piece, but is a lovely bit of writing on eco-horror and a general philosophy of nature and our relationship to it. i read it while having an existential crisis and reading the area x trilogy, so take my fondness for it with a grain of salt due to that specific set of factors, but ultimately, it made me think a lot about flora through the lens of horror and what it means to be so intertangled with it in general

[bubbleflux]

Sub-Zero: The Cryogenic Heart of Mortal Kombat's Existential Depths

In the frost-laden universe of Mortal Kombat, Sub-Zero emerges as more than a mere character; he embodies a paradoxical blend of chilling resolve and existential depth. Beyond the superficial layers of his cryogenic powers lies a narrative rich in philosophical underpinnings, exploring themes of identity, destiny, and the relentless march of time. In this deep dive, we venture into Sub-Zero's icy domain, uncovering the existential depths that define his character and shape his journey.

The Nature of Identity: At the core of Sub-Zero's character lies a profound exploration of identity—a theme woven intricately throughout his narrative arc. From his origins as Bi-Han, the original Sub-Zero, to his transformation into Kuai Liang, the mantle bearer burdened by familial legacy, Sub-Zero grapples with the existential question of selfhood. His transition from assassin to reluctant hero mirrors the existential struggle to define oneself amidst external expectations and internal conflicts.Moreover, Sub-Zero's dual nature as both hero and anti-hero exemplifies the fluidity of identity, blurring the lines between righteousness and darkness. As he navigates the treacherous terrain of the Mortal Kombat tournament, Sub-Zero confronts the duality of his nature, questioning the very essence of his being amidst the chaos of battle.

The Sands of Time: Time, an ever-present force in the Mortal Kombat universe, casts a long shadow over Sub-Zero's journey, shaping his destiny in unforeseen ways. The cyclical nature of time, embodied by the eternal conflict between realms, mirrors Sub-Zero's own cyclical struggle for redemption and purpose. Like a shard of ice adrift in the river of time, he is both shaped and shackled by the events of his past, haunted by the specter of his actions and the consequences they entail.Furthermore, Sub-Zero's encounters with characters like Scorpion, whose vendetta spans generations, highlight the inescapable grip of time on mortal beings. Their rivalry serves as a reminder of the immutable nature of fate, driving Sub-Zero to confront the ghosts of his past and forge a path towards redemption in the face of inevitability.

The Cold Embrace of Existential Angst: Beneath Sub-Zero's stoic facade lies a wellspring of existential angst—a product of his tumultuous journey and the burdens he carries. His icy demeanor serves as a metaphor for the emotional barriers he erects to shield himself from the pain of his past and the uncertainty of his future. Yet, beneath the frosty exterior, lies a heart burdened by the weight of destiny, yearning for warmth amidst the eternal winter of his existence.Sub-Zero's quest for redemption becomes a Sisyphean struggle against the existential void, as he grapples with questions of purpose, morality, and the inherent futility of mortal endeavors. Each victory in the Mortal Kombat tournament offers temporary respite from the icy grip of despair, yet the specter of annihilation looms large, reminding Sub-Zero of the ephemeral nature of existence.

[gamesbyalbie]

System : ONLINE

I appreciate a degree of nebulous uncertainty when it comes to my past: I was born. I lived. My consciousness was digitized. A few millennia passed. Sirit found me in some ancient computer files. Decided to offer me a job. Now I'm here.

I don't want to know exactly how long it's been. How long I've been alive. How long I've been displaced. 

An absence of definitives preserves my sense of estrangement. If I had hard facts and figures, this—my current state of existence—would feel less surreal. More details might make it harder to think, "Hey. Maybe I'm not a digital ghost working for one of the far-flung descendants of humanity. Maybe I don't split my time between a spaceship and an alien planet. Maybe I don't regularly converse with a being that's basically a giant psychic plant. Maybe it's still 2068 and I'm just a normal human and this has all been a really long, really weird, really convincing dream."

"Maybe."

System Processing is a short solarpunk story about Ov, a digital caretaker rapidly approaching retirement. Experience their final day, get to know the curious alien, Kor-Laðə, aid Ov's friends, and explore the beautiful world they inhabit in an introspective tale about individuality and symbiosis, understanding and acceptance, and grief and love. 

Features

Aliens! (including a planet that's one giant, sentient plant)

A nonbinary and neurodivergent cast of characters

Thorough, interactive codex entries

Sleek, retro UI inspired by visuals from shows like the Matrix

Four unique endings—one of which is hidden

And much more...

Content Warning: This story contains mature themes including memory loss, depression, death, grief, and suicide. It dives into philosophical topics such as existentialism and skepticism and questions what it means to be human/alive. Please be aware of this and if you are made uncomfortable by any of this story's content, please stop reading.

Links

Play Here | UI Template (Fall 2022) | Author | Tag | Ask

And remember...

We are Kor.

[feste-de-jester]

🃏 ⤷ Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead (1966) by Tom Stoppard

CW: existentialism, death

A Brief Summary: Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead is a tragicomedy first performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 1966, which follows the antics of Hamlet's background characters Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. The play is very much focused on the meaning of life and death, existentialism, what is real and what is not, and the concept of chance as the audience follows through the seemingly odd conversations and actions of this pair of characters during their off-stage time during the story of Shakespeare's Hamlet.

The Certainty Of Death: Stoppard immediately begins the play by establishing how uncertain the world is that Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are based in the coin-flipping game, in which Rosencrantz flips heads consecutively ninety-two times, throwing all regular laws of physics and existence out the window. Over the course of the play, the pair come to discover that death is the only certainty in life - that no matter what one does with one's life, or how different one's life is from someone else's, everyone is heading for the same inevitable end. Guildenstern, in Act 3, notes a particularly useful metaphor to illustrate this:

ROS: We might as well be dead. Do you think death could possibly be a boat? GUIL: No, no, no... Death is... not. Death isn't. You take my meaning. Death is the ultimate negative. Not-being. You can't not-be on a boat. ROS: I've frequently not been on boats. GUIL: No, no, no - what you've been is not on boats. [Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead, Act Three]

Ultimately, what he is explaining, is that life is very similar to a boat-ride in the way that a person can do whatever they like whilst on the boat, but cannot control the destination, nor stop it.

Lack Of Agency: In Shakespeare's Hamlet, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are merely background characters, appearing in the text as they are summoned and disappearing as they are killed. Stoppard explores this concept thoroughly in his own text, opening up this idea of how little agency the characters in a play have. Their actions, their fates, and their lives are written out by the author, and with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern somewhat recognising this, it creates an invasive world in which nothing goes to plan for them. The world in which they are placed is written out to conflict them with chaos and lack of understanding, and then to rival against them by putting them to death, controlling how long their existence is due to last. Audiences further see this with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern not knowing how to pass the time outside of the structured scenes of Hamlet other than playing games. They begin the play by betting on coin-flipping, and they later decide to play a game of questions. The disorder that Stoppard creates is fuelled by this lack of structure and how the characters don't know what to do with it.

Identity: Many viewers of Hamlet can agree on how similar Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are as characters, to the point where they can hardly be deciphered from each other unless it is being put down to actors or costume. Whilst Stoppard continues this idea (building on this concept of uncertainty and chaos) by continuously making the characters recognise their own lack of awareness in their identity, in which they mistake each other for the wrong name, making them seem like the same entity in how they are so closely bonded, he also explores the characters and makes them more personified. Audiences could identify Guildenstern as a philosophical person, questioning why the chaos is ensued upon them, why they are in the middle of the situation that they are in, questioning life, death and everything in between. He gets annoyed when he simply cannot grasp the vastness of it. Rosencrantz, on the other hand, is much the opposite in some ways. He is more passive to these ideas, but is often distressed and almost panicked when he doesn't understand his or his friend's purpose in the story.

ROS: My name is Guildenstern, and this is Rosencrantz. (GUIL confers briefly with him.) (Without embarrassment) I'm sorry - his name's Guildenstern, and I'm Rosencrantz. [Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead, Act One]

GUIL: What are you feeling? ROS: A leg. Yes, it feels like my leg. GUIL: How does it feel? ROS: Dead. GUIL: Dead? ROS: (Panic) I can't feel a thing! GUIL: Give it a pinch! (Immediately he yelps.) ROS: Sorry. GUIL: Well, that's cleared that up. [Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead, Act Three]

Useful Links: - CliffNotes Page (extremely helpful when researching the play!) - 'Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead' (1990 film) - 'Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead' (2021 BBC Sounds audio production) currently not available (see below)

———————⋆˚｡🎭｡˚⋆———————

Hi! I was recently researching this play for my classes and found that I really loved it, so I thought I'd share it here! It's such a brilliantly written text, and I highly recommend reading/watching/listening to it because it is astoundingly clever.

A quick note about the BBC Sounds production I've linked - if you are currently a UK student and have access to Box Of Broadcasts through your institution, the audio production is available in two parts on there. Highly recommend it if you can access it! :)

Thank you for having a read!

🃏 ⤷ Maya (they/he)

[therealmoonknight5]

a Kafkaesque memoir

Seeing yourself inside the works of Franz Kafka is like a psychedelic experience.

Kafkaesque literature, with its surreal and nightmarish portrayal of bureaucracy, existential angst, and the absurdity of life, deeply resonates within me. The haunting narratives and labyrinthine situations echo the complexities and uncertainties of the human condition, often reflecting society's dehumanizing systems. This evokes a profound sense of introspection, stirring emotions of alienation, anxiety, and a quest for meaning. The vivid imagery and unsettling themes in Kafkaesque literature serve as a mirror to the disquieting aspects of reality, prompting me to contemplate the nature of power, identity, and the enigmatic essence of existence itself. Ultimately, it encourages a relentless exploration of the inexplicable, urging me to confront life's ambiguities with a blend of curiosity and trepidation.

[omegaphilosophia]

The Philosophy of Courage

The philosophy of courage explores the nature, value, and significance of courage as a moral and existential virtue. Courage is often regarded as the willingness to confront fear, danger, or adversity in pursuit of a noble or morally worthy goal. Philosophers have long grappled with questions about the origins of courage, its ethical implications, and its role in shaping human behavior and character.

Key aspects of the philosophy of courage include:

Definition and Nature: Philosophers examine the concept of courage and its various dimensions. They explore different definitions of courage, considering whether it involves the absence of fear, the ability to act despite fear, or the presence of certain virtues such as resilience, determination, or moral integrity. Philosophers also explore the relationship between courage and other moral virtues, such as justice, temperance, and wisdom.

Moral and Existential Courage: Courage is often divided into moral courage and existential courage. Moral courage involves standing up for one's principles, values, or convictions in the face of opposition or adversity. Existential courage involves confronting the uncertainties, challenges, and existential threats inherent in the human condition, such as mortality, meaninglessness, and existential angst.

Ethical Perspectives: Philosophers analyze the ethical significance of courage within different ethical frameworks, such as virtue ethics, deontology, and consequentialism. They explore questions about whether courage is inherently good, how it relates to other moral virtues, and whether there are moral limits or constraints on courageous action.

Psychological and Emotional Dimensions: Philosophers consider the psychological and emotional aspects of courage, including the role of emotions such as fear, anxiety, and resilience in shaping courageous behavior. They examine theories of emotion regulation, emotional intelligence, and moral development to understand how individuals cultivate courage in the face of adversity.

Social and Political Courage: Courage is often manifested in social and political contexts, where individuals challenge injustice, oppression, or wrongdoing. Philosophers explore the role of courage in promoting social change, defending human rights, and resisting tyranny or authoritarianism. They examine historical examples of courageous figures such as activists, whistleblowers, and revolutionaries who have risked their lives for the greater good.

Cultural and Historical Perspectives: Courage is influenced by cultural norms, values, and traditions, which shape how courage is understood and practiced in different societies. Philosophers study the cultural and historical roots of courage, tracing its evolution across time and cultures and examining how it is depicted in literature, art, and mythology.

Philosophical Exemplars: Philosophers often cite examples of courageous individuals or moral exemplars who embody the ideals of courage. These exemplars may include historical figures such as Socrates, Gandhi, and Martin Luther King Jr., as well as fictional characters from literature and mythology. Philosophers analyze the virtues and qualities that make these individuals courageous and explore the lessons they offer for moral and existential courage.

Overall, the philosophy of courage provides a framework for understanding and evaluating the significance of courage in human life, ethics, and society. It raises important questions about the nature of courage, its moral implications, and its role in promoting human flourishing and moral integrity.

[call-sign-foxtrot]

A Neo-liberalistic Nihilistic Manifesto

Economic Policy meets Existential Despair

In this grim guide, we'll delve into the depths of neoliberalistic nihilism and explore the realities of navigating the market-driven hellscape. In this journey through the corners of capitalism, where the only certainty is uncertainty, and the only currency is cold, hard cash. History? A meaningless series of market fluctuations. Morality? A subjective construct hindering your consumption choices. Truth? Fungible and for sale to the highest bidder.

Step 1: Embrace the Market Abyss

In this wild west of capitalism, the invisible hand of the market reigns supreme, guiding through the chaos of supply and demand like a blindfolded stumbling through a minefield. Forget about regulations or ethical dilemmas – profit is the only compass you need. The market will definitely reward your...gestures vaguely...audacity with untold riches (or bankruptcy, but hey, it's all meaningless anyway). But in this world, failure is but a temporary setback, a stepping stone on the path to greater success. After all, what does it matter if we lose it all, if the game is all that matters?

Step 2: Find Meaning in Materialism

In this world devoid of inherent meaning, material possessions become our gods. So go ahead, splurge on that designer handbag or the latest iPhone – they're the closest thing to existential fulfilment money can buy. With each purchase, we are not only filling the void within, but also contributing to the great capitalist machine that powers our world. And in doing so, we are becoming the ultimate consumers, the apex predators of the consumerist jungle. Just ignore the sense of emptiness that creeps in when you realize that no amount of consumerism can fill the void within. So why not treat yourself to that dopamine rush you get from scoring those limited-edition drops? It's basically the same feeling as finding true happiness, only slightly less sustainable and much more expensive.

Step 3: Exploit, Exploit, Exploit

In the pursuit of profit, nothing is off-limits. Exploit cheap labor in developing countries? Check. Dodge taxes like a like a ship vanishing into fog? Double check. Destroy the environment faster than you can say "climate change is real"? Triple check. In the grand scheme of things, morals are just roadblocks on the way to wealth. "This all sounds so...unethical." And you're right. It is. But in the world of business, morals are just a luxury that only the weak can afford. So, if you want to make it to the top, you'd better be prepared to leave your conscience at the door. Who needs a clear conscience when you have a yacht? Or a private jet? Or a mansion on a hill?

Step 4: Rinse and Repeat

Congratulations, you're now a card-carrying member of the neoliberalistic nihilist club! But remember, the journey is never truly over. As you navigate the waters of late-stage capitalism, always keep one eye on the bottom line and the other on the abyss. Who knows, maybe one day you'll achieve true enlightenment – or at least a slightly bigger offshore bank account. Perhaps we will find the freedom we so desperately crave – or perhaps, more likely, we will find nothing at all.

Step 5: Await the End

Now all that remains is to await the inevitable collapse – the final unraveling of civilization as we know it. Embrace the pain, the anguish, the existential despair – for in the depths of suffering lies the only semblance of truth we will ever know. Let it wash over you like a tidal wave, drowning out the hollow echoes of consumerism and capitalist excess. For in the end, it is our suffering that defines us – not our fleeting moments of happiness or success.

Disclaimer: This is Satire. Repeat: "There is only the market, and the market is good..." (except when it isn't, but hey, that's the thrill of the gamble, right?).

[punishdsin]

One thing that I love that the Silent Hill series often delves into is religious fanaticism through cults or extremist groups wielding significant influence over the town and its inhabitants. These cults typically worship ancient deities or supernatural entities, believing in apocalyptic prophecies or seeking to bring about some form of divine judgment or salvation.

The portrayal of religious fanaticism in Silent Hill is complex and nuanced. Some cult members are depicted as devout believers genuinely convinced of their cause, while others are manipulative and power-hungry individuals exploiting the faith and vulnerability of others for personal gain. It explores the darker aspects of religious devotion and adds layers of moral ambiguity and psychological depth to the narrative.

Silent Hill critiques the dangers of blind faith and the manipulation of religious beliefs for nefarious purposes. It raises questions about the nature of belief, the consequences of unchecked zealotry, and the thin line between spirituality and fanaticism. By weaving these themes into its narrative, Silent Hill invites reflection on the role of religion in society and the potential for both good and evil inherent in religious belief systems.

The presence of eerie churches and religious symbolism reinforces the idea that suicide is often perceived as a moral transgression deserving of punishment rather than forgiveness. Many religious traditions view suicide as a sin or a violation of divine law, punishable by eternal damnation. The town's ominous churches, adorned with symbols of faith, evoke a sense of judgment and condemnation, suggesting that those who take their own lives are condemned to suffer in the afterlife.

This portrayal adds complexity to the exploration of themes like guilt, redemption, and the consequences of one's actions. Characters grappling with suicidal thoughts or haunted by past suicides may confront these religious taboos and struggle with feelings of shame and unworthiness. The religious imagery in Silent Hill underscores the weight of these moral dilemmas and the psychological torment experienced by those who feel trapped by their inner demons.

By addressing these themes head-on, Silent Hill prompts reflection on the intersection of religious beliefs with mental health issues and the stigmatization of suicide within society. It challenges traditional notions of sin and salvation, inviting players to question the fairness and compassion of a worldview that condemns individuals already in profound emotional distress.

The portrayal of suicide and its religious implications in Silent Hill adds depth to the series' exploration of existential themes and the human condition. It confronts uncomfortable truths about morality, mental health, and the search for meaning in a world fraught with suffering and uncertainty.

[schizoidvision]

5 Key Ways Schizoid Existential Anxiety Holds Significance

Existential anxiety, at its core, revolves around the deep uncertainties that arise from our human condition: the quest for meaning, the inevitability of death, the nature of freedom, and the challenges of isolation. When seen through the lens of schizoid tendencies, these concerns can become profound driving forces that shape behavior, perception, and interactions. Let's explore the significance of existential anxiety in those with schizoid tendencies.

1. The Quest for Meaning and Identity:

For many with schizoid tendencies, there's a fundamental sense of 'drift' or a feeling of not truly knowing oneself. This disconnection from a core sense of self can intensify existential anxieties. The world becomes a place where they're searching not just for external meaning but also a consistent internal narrative. This search often becomes a central theme, pushing them to introspection and sometimes further withdrawal.

2. Fear of Engulfment:

One of the core features of existential anxiety is the dread of losing one's unique identity. Schizoid individuals often manifest this fear as a pronounced fear of 'engulfment', where they're afraid that getting too close to someone or forming attachments will erase their sense of self. It's as if their boundaries are porous, and they must guard against external influences overpowering their innermost identity.

3. Solitude vs. Isolation:

Solitude can be a choice, a moment of reflection, and personal growth. However, when combined with schizoid tendencies and existential anxiety, solitude can morph into isolation. This self-imposed isolation arises from a desire to confront or escape from life's inherent uncertainties. While solitude can offer a sanctuary from the overwhelming nature of existence, it can also exacerbate feelings of loneliness and the sense of being an outsider looking in.

4. The Nature of Freedom:

While freedom is often seen as a positive aspect of human existence, it comes with the responsibility of choice. Schizoid individuals, dealing with existential concerns, might find this freedom burdensome. The need to consistently define and redefine oneself, especially when one's sense of self is already shaky, can be a heavy weight to bear.

5. Confronting Mortality:

Existential anxiety invariably brings us face to face with our mortality. Schizoid tendencies, with their introspective nature, often mean that individuals ruminate more on the nature of life and death. Their internal world becomes a theater where they play out various scenarios, confront their fears, and grapple with the idea of life's transience.

Summary:

Existential anxiety is not exclusive to those with schizoid tendencies; it's a part of the human condition. However, in individuals with schizoid tendencies, this anxiety finds unique expressions and plays a significant role in shaping their worldviews. Understanding this can provide a compassionate lens through which to support and empathize with individuals navigating these deep waters of existence.

Video From My Youtube Channel: Fear of Engulfment

[slowly-unspooling]

Episode 8 - The Revelation

Explore the newest mysteries in the latest episode of Slowly Unspooling! Episode 8, titled The Revelation is now available for your listening pleasure. You can find us on your favorite podcast feed here. Join us as we dive deeper into the mysterious world of the company and explore the unsettling encounter between Kai and an enigmatic figure known as The Director.

🌟 In this episode, you'll hear incredible performances from our talented cast:

Aspen Rayne as Kai ( @rayneing-on-your-parade)

Kat Hatherlee as The Director (@raisedbyheathens)

🚨 Content Warnings:

Strong Language

Psychological Distress

Existential Uncertainty

Workplace stress

Depersonalization

Follow us here on Tumblr at SlowlyUnspooling for regular updates and exclusive insights. Want to take your support to the next level? Join us on Patreon here. All patrons contributing $10 and above will receive a special shoutout at the end of the upcoming episode, our way of expressing our gratitude for your generous support.

Comments, reviews, and questions are always welcome, and even highly enjoyed so don't hold back as we near the end of season 1!