#FUNNIEST PLOT THAT COULD'VE HAPPENED | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

poggyking3 · 5 months ago

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It was a night, an ordinary one as most of them thought. Just a good old december night with all of them there, preparing for the Christmas spirit. Despite how some of them may talk about the love you might share during such times, they all loved the holiday the same and not just because of the time off though that was definitely part of it.

And it was but a simple game night with a sprinkle of the holiday vibes around, with some decorations hung up in some places, maybe looking a bit out of place considering the blues of the castle and the greens, yellows and reds of the christmas decorations. Not that any of the crew were competent enough to even notice that and even if they did- well- what would they do about it, take them off? And then what? repainting Christmas decorations, especially so last minute just sounds absurd. So it is best to assume that all of them were stupid. But regardless they were oh so joyful, besides some minor things. At least for a bit that is.

They were playing smash, currently it was Saiko and Tari and was it a heated fight! Tari took her gamer out and Saiko wouldn't go down without giving her all without flinging the controller into the TV screen. As everyone was cheering for either of the 2, SMG4 was already thinking of something else. You see, this man, this godawful man had some plans up his sleeves. He had been training in smash while the others weren't there so he did get a bit better or at least he believed so. He was just thinking who to fight against... Who would be the funniest to ask... And as he thought about that, his gaze lingered to SMG3. Perhaps that could work, especially with their rivarly! It would definitely rile up some emotions. Or maybe he could finally get SMG3 to admit defeat! He could also ask Mario but that would bring on more chaos than he'd desire then... Boopkins is bad at it so he couldn't show off with fighting him. Tari would still wreck him. Maybe Meggy? As he thought about all his options, he didn't realise he was staring at SMG3. He only realised so when SMG3 poked him on his shoulder, giving him a look. A sort of weirded out look but maybe he was a bit worried too. SMG4 blinked, staring for a few seconds more as he realised what happened than awkwardly chuckled then immediately lowered his voice to not draw anymore attention.

-I'm good - he replied to SMG3.

-Sure, loser - SMG3 said, rolling his eyes - Don't stare at me though, that shit's weird.

-I didn't mean to

SMG3 looked at him, thinking SMG4 was a dumbass motherfucker, stupidest man to walk this Earth if he thought he could get away with this so easily.

-You're planning something - SMG3 said pretty simply.

-No, no I'm not I'm just.... thinking about last minute Christmas shopping is all! For like... Food and stuff you know, always having to restock with Mario around - SMG4 tried to reason as best as he could possibly manage while grinning in the stupidest way. SMG3 also thought his grin was stupid wishing he could take it off and...

-If you say so - SMG3 replied, quickly putting away whatever that last thought could've been.

SMG4 felt a rock fell off his heart, he didn't think such a simple stunt could get him into such situations. He didn't like when SMG3 made his heart race like this, it was uncomfortable. Because it was always SMG3 who would suspect him. Back then when Among us was still cool to play and they would, SMG3 would always be the one quickest to guess him to be an impostor. And often he was right which was infuriating. He could never catch a break. Maybe his target really should be SMG3, now that he fired himself up, wanting to wipe the floor with him. He deserved that for making him feel that way. What he didn't know though was that someone else was plotting right behind them.

Soon, Tari and Saiko finished their round, with Tari only just barely being the winner, the 2 shook hands like how good sportsmanship dictates so.

-Hey, SMG3 - SMG4 said - How about we go next?

SMG3 raised an eye brow.

-Sure, why not

They were handed the controllers by the other 2 so they could sit down and get into their gaming positions. They chose their characters and the round started. First, SMG4 didn't give himself away, playing worse than usual. But only at first. As soon as he saw SMG3 relax, he locked in. It was actually quite amusing to watch as their friends were also surprised with what was happening. SMG4 really was wiping the floor with SMG3, who, despite trying his best, was actually being beaten.

And so, as SMG4 set himself up to win, he indeed won. Because of locking in. It was totally worth it, his friends actually clapped for him.

SMG3 was not amused at all though.

-I knew you were planning something stupid - SMG3 said, pointing at SMG4 with an accusatory tone.

-I don't know what you're talking about - SMG4 said with that same stupid grin.

-You totally set me up

-I've just been training, it's not my fault you suck!

-I don't suck!

-Really? Prove it then!

-Of course I will, let's play another game mode.

And so they played again, this time SMG3 was locking in too, and playing a different character he was more accostumed to. And while SMG4 thought he was amazing, that was his downfall too. This time, he lost.

-There - SMG3 said with the biggest shit eating grin a man could wear - and I didn't even need to train

-That's- no- that- that You- SMG4 stuttered stupidly, he felt like victory fell out of his hands, like sand - Again! We're going again!

And so they went again, both locking in and strongly at that. Though their friends were starting to get a little agitated the 2, despite how their behaviour is somewhat entertaining.

Though while the others were busy watching SMG3 and SMG4 once again duke it out, only Meggy noticed Mario sneaking off.

-Red, why are you going?? - Meggy asked him, to which he stopped.

-Getting something to stop these idiots from stealing game time from us

-Yeah that's goo- she suddenly stopped - How do you exactly plan to do that?

-You can trust Mario - Mario gave a double thumbs up then quickly left before Meggy could ask another question. She sighed, hoping that it won't just further escalate the situation.

She went back to watching the 2 playing and throwing insults at each other. They really went downhill and what for?

At last, SMG4 won, but only barely.

-You only got lucky - SMG3 immediately protested

-I'd actually say that about YOUR victory, you only had it because you got lucky

-No, not true I- but he was stopped as, in a very cliche way, everyone gasped.

-No way - Meggy was flabbergasted.

-...Will they? - Tari looked around, trying to look for an answer.

SMG3 and SMG4 were left confused, Meggy pointed up to which then they both noticed why that whole dramatic reaction happened. They were under a mistletoe of all things. SMG4 seemed to freeze there, was this real? Was this really happening? It couldn't be.

-No way, I'm not doing that - SMG3 turned away, hiding how he was getting a bit red in the face. It would be... so weird to kiss SMG4.

-C'mon, it's-a good time to be jolly! - Mario teased the 2, that was when SMG4 and SMG3 noticed that it was Mario holding it above them.

-Mario, I'm actually gonna strangle you - SMG3 said.

-Seconded - SMG4 said.

-C'mon, are you 2 too much of-a wimps to do a little kissy kissy?

Meggy couldn't help but chuckle at that, while shaking her head, as if dismissing him and totally pretending like she was scolding him and not finding the situation funny.

-I'm not, I just don't want to! - SMG3 whined.

-Me too, this is totally unnecessary!

-They are totally too scared to do it - Saiko commented, seeing where this was going. Mario grinned.

-See? Mario is not the only one who sees. C'mon, just one and done, easy!

He could regret this.

He really could. But well... Fuck it. That was coming anyways. He knew Mario would pull this stunt sooner or later, maybe later he won't try again.

SMG4 grabbed SMG3 by his face. SMG3 barely had time to react before he was pulled into a brief, short and awkward kiss by SMG4. It was... Weird. Just as he thought it would be. And he...really... really hated it. While SMG4 went to strangle Mario, SMG3 quickly left the room, not wanting to be percieved. That was the the last thing he could ever need with the state he was put in. He went outside the castle, considering just going back to the café. They would find him anyways. They would worry anyways. They're all so... so annoying. And why did Mario do this? Sure, he did get a little carried away with SMG4 but that was no reason to make them kiss. Besides, he had done that before so... why would he need to do it again? Did he just enjoy seeing them suffer? Maybe he was still... Eh, why would he care about what anyone inside this castle thought about him anyways, he could survive without them before, so...

He fell to the ground, crying. This was too much. His tears were warm compared to the chilly weather. Though neither felt at all comforting. He would've felt more comfortable if the earth just swallowed him whole. This was so stupid! Why did he have to end up like this? Was everything he did in his life leading up to this stupid moment to further humiliate him as if being besties with his once sworn enemy wasn't humiliating enough. Not that he chose this life, it chose him. And he was anything but happy about this, especially then. Would it be too late to try change his identity and move far away where nobody knows him?

He didn't notice SMG4 coming outside. He didn't notice words being spoken by him.

-SMG3, are you listening? - SMG4 put a hand on SMG3's shoulder, which made him look at him finally. SMG4 never saw such raw emotion on SMG3's face, it kind of stunned him. But the feelings quickly turned way more sour than they initially seemed, anger fully replacing them. SMG3 quickly wiped his eyes.

-Leave me alone

-I just wanted to say sorry

-You could have just not done it

-Mario would try again otherwise...

-And you think like this he won't again?

-Uh- Oh....

SMG3 sighed, he really had the stupidest meme guardian partner ever. How unfortunate for him.

-You really are this stupid, huh? New low for you

-I just thought... maybe I- Maybe I wasn't thinking at all

-Not new from you

-Look I- I didn't come outside for you to be insulting me. I wanted to say sorry and.... maybe invite you back inside. I'd still like to... celebrate these times with you, despite what happened. You matter to us, 3

SMG3 didn't reply for a bit, SMG4 couldn't read his expression. Then the man laughed, as if he couldn't act weirder. He once again felt that weird feeling, his heart racing. Why did SMG3 need to make him feel so uneasy?

-I- SMG3, I'm being serious, c'mon, you think I'd be joking?

SMG3 stopped, seemingly contemplating.

-I just found your pitifully baby words funny, that is all.

-And you weren't touched by them at all?

-No - SMG3 lied.

-Uh huh - SMG4 knew - Come on, man, come inside, besides you have to see Mario, put him in a... new shape one could say, I think you'll like it

SMG3 rolled his eyes, might as well, despite everything. The faster they'd both forget about this the better.

Now, despite the amount of days that would go by, the memory wouldn't fade. Another memory for both their minds to replay in their minds when they're trying to get some sleep. Just like some other events. And it was weird, very weird. But maybe if he would just hold out a little longer it could go away, he could forget, they could both forget and it would all be at least somewhat okay. Hopefully. But who knows! The past always comes back to haunt you.

If you post this, TO EVERYONE ELSE THAT MIGHT READ THIS, THIS ISN'T SUDDEN, I'VE THREATENED HIM LONG AGO. THIS WAS COMING.

- Nerd anon

ITS 3 IN THE MORNING????

#smg3s blog #smg3 #i think thats enough tumblr #nerd anon strikes again #in character

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echoingbirdsofprey · 7 months ago

Text

Take Me Back To Eden

One - When We Were Made

Pairing: ii x OC Violetta Kastor

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: swearing as usual for anything I write and this is not a slow burn, so there's immediately flirting and talk of an ex

A/N: Out of respect for the band and their crew, I've decided to use made up names, as it gets a little taxing writing the Roman numerals over and over. It is clearly explained who everyone is. I've also made up physical details if needed, some true (eyes that we know of), some not. The actual plot and storyline is entirely fictional except maybe some of the tour dates but those are also mostly rough estimates so don't come after me! Enjoy!

Violetta had no idea that the first thing she was about to do at her new job was tech for a ritual. Fresh out of school, she'd been hired on a recommendation by her favorite band, which was the craziest shit that could've happened to her. What band, you ask? Well, Sleep Token of course. Yes, the masked and mysterious collective hired Violetta to be a guitar tech. And she could tech with the best of them. She'd majored in music production and recording and she was top of her class. Her professor knew the record label owner and sent him a message because she wanted Violetta to be successful.

Well, what a way to start. She'd been thrown to the fucking wolves the very first ritual. Theo, their tour manager and lead on the soundboard met her and immediately pulled her toward the stage during soundcheck. He went over everything quickly and concisely as the sultry sound of Vessel's voice was overheard through the microphone.

"You're gonna hang with Jack tonight and he'll show you how everything works. We've got in-ears. We'll get you a pair to use for now and then the boys will want you to have a custom pair once we've decided to let you stay." Theo explained, placing a hand on her shoulder and smiling. Violetta knew this was her audition for the rest of her career. She was used to pressure but she couldn't have imagined the amount put on her in that first night.

Luckily, everything ran so smoothly that instead of coming out in a state of panic thinking she wasn't good enough, she'd been congratulated so many times she couldn't even count. She hadn't done much but noticed the mics sounded off just before the set, then restringing IV's 8-string Jackson when the top two strings gave way, faster than she'd ever restrung and tuned a guitar, and that made it all worthwhile.

The funniest thing that had happened that night was her becoming fast friends with Jack. He was just like her friend at home, Brian, except Jack wasn't gay as fuck. Not that she had a problem with that, but it could be a lot for people just meeting him. Jack was nice, down to earth, could joke about anything, and would take a selfie at the best moments. She really liked Jack.

Everyone had been stupid nice to her. It was later on, after the ritual, that she had her second dose of reality dished to her when she headed backstage. She'd helped pack away all the gear, and mind you, getting to help put II's drums away was the highlight of her life until she entered that green room. There, sitting and looking very normal, with a water bottle in one hand, phone in the other, was Vessel.

"Hi, you must be Violetta. You were top-notch tonight, darling." He said, the rumble and rasp in his voice so evident after singing. He looked like a dang noodle of a man, floppy brown hair and a clean shaven face, with crystal blue eyes that wrinkled at the corners with happiness. She smiled and thanked him, going to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. She kneeled down, taking one from the bottom rack and surveyed what else was in the fridge. Fruit, lots of energy drinks, cans of soda, sushi, and finger sandwiches of all different kinds. "Feel free to eat anything too, hun, that's all for us and the crew."

She wasn't terribly hungry, but she thanked him again and sat across the room from him at a foldable table that was set with several folding chairs. She took a few sips from her bottle and took out her phone. She scrolled through the pictures that had been taken that night by their photographer, Alex. One in particular she quite liked was of II, the drummer. He was for sure in the moment, sticks blurred in the air, and his head thrown back as if in ecstasy. Speaking of the drummer, that was who came through the door next, taking a can of Coke and a bottle of water out of the fridge. He took up residence on the couch that was facing where Violetta was sitting. He glanced over and smiled.

"You must be Violetta." He said, soft spoken and slightly higher timbre than Vessel. She nodded and he smiled again, his deeper blue eyes lighting up. He looked tired and still fairly sweaty, even though she was sure they'd cleaned up, but maybe he hadn't just yet. He was the shortest member of the band, but still taller than Violetta as she was a short five feet tall. He popped the Coke open, placed it on the floor by his feet, then unscrewed the cap from the bottle of water and chugged half of it before putting the cap back on.

Jack swooped in, gave Violetta a bear hug, then swooped out with water and some food on a plate. He poked his head in again, realizing he'd forgotten to tell Violetta something.

"I think you're rooming with one of the guys tonight, if that's okay? They're not too annoying." He said, a lilt of humor in his tone as he smirked at Vessel and II. "But ask Theo again, he'll be able to tell you." He said and then he was off.

She glanced down at her phone just as she received a text.

Unknown Number: hey 👋

She tilted her head and sneakily looked over at Vessel, then II. They were both on their phones. The timing of the text was rather conspicuous.

Vi: hi, who you?

Unknown: wouldn't you like to know 😏

Vi: yes. I would in fact

Unknown: who do you think I am?

Vi: honestly, don't know, but you're timing is awful fuckin weird

Unknown: is it?

Vi: yeah 🙃

Unknown: Oh c'mon, just guess

Vi: are we using real names or the numbers that Sleep gave you?

Unknown: clever girl

Vi: you're in this room with me, you have to be, otherwise you're standing out in the hallway

There was a pause in messages. She hadn't thought to listen for a text tone, but she looked up just as IV walked into the room. He didn't have his phone out.

"Hey, I really appreciate how quick you restrung my guitar. You did a great job, babes ." He said and she couldn't help but smirk at his use of very British slang. He walked to the fridge and stood in front of it, surveying the food and drinks available for a few moments before grabbing a few things on a plate and sitting down at the table next to her, but sort of across from her.

Unknown: well?

She didn't hear a text tone. She glanced at Vessel, and typed a message back.

Vi: you all have blue eyes

Unknown: okay?

Vi: is it a requirement to be in Sleep Token? Have pretty blue eyes?

Unknown: possibly, you think my eyes are pretty?

Vessel and IV hadn't typed anything. Vessel was scrolling. IV had just sat down. She averted her eyes to II, who was also scrolling.

Vi: floor tom

Unknown: kick drum

She watched as II's thumbs typed fast as fuck.

Vi: snare

Unknown: you like?

Vi: I have questions

Unknown: shoot

Vi: how the fuck did you get my number

Unknown: Theo

Vi: are you flirting with me?

Unknown: are you?

She looked up and straight at II. He smirked but didn't look at her. He typed something back.

Unknown: hi, I'm Cal, am I your favorite?

She stood, going to throw her empty bottle of water away.

Vi: it's always the quiet ones

She clicked the number and saved it as "Cal" with a little drum emote in the notes. She received a text.

Cal: ✨️

Vi: did you just use a sparkle ✨️ emote?

Cal: I did, yes

Cal: im your roommate by the way

Her heartbeat picked up and she full-on stared at him, lips parted for a split second, then she bit her bottom lip and took a breath.

Fuck .

Cal: is that okay?

This time, he turned and she gazed deep into the ocean blue of his eyes, her very emerald ones seemingly lit with fire behind them. And not a rageful fire, but a very lust filled one.

Vi: how'd you know you were my favorite?

Cal: im good at guessing

Vi: guess my next move then

Cal: why don't you guess mine?

Vi: nope

She grabbed another bottle of water, a can of Coke, said "good night" to the guys, then headed out into the hallway, running into Theo. Cal stayed seated for a few moments before deciding to do the same and try to catch up with Violetta. Theo stopped her for a moment.

"Hey! You were awesome tonight. I meant to tell you earlier, Cal's your roomy for tonight. I figured that might work for you since he's pretty quiet and easy to get along with. I gave him your number so you could get the room key from him when you were ready for it." He explained and Violetta nodded and thanked him. He pulled her in for a hug. "Welcome to the crew."

She smiled wide and then headed down the hallway. She became aware very quickly of the drummer's footsteps behind her. He caught up to her, grabbing for her hand.

"Hi." He said, same soft tone as before. Violetta smiled and she could feel her cheeks getting redder by the second. He was...cute...no...he was hot. He was both. He had a little bit of facial hair, matching dirty blond hair on his head and through his white t-shirt she could see some of the dark, traditional, and colored tattoos that painted his chest. He had two full sleeves of tattoos as well that crawled their way onto his hands. The black body paint really did a great job of hiding it all. She glanced down at his hand that was still holding hers.

"Sorry." He said, going to pull away but she stopped him.

"Still flirting with me?" She asked, intertwining her fingers with his. She felt him twitch like he was going to pull his hand away but he stopped himself, mesmerized by the way his hand fit in hers and the tattoos on her arms.

"Do you...want me to?" He asked sheepishly. His heart was pounding out of his chest just being by himself with her.

"I was kind of enjoying our little text dialogue. Never had that happen before." She said, a wide smile forming on her lips.

He studied her for a few moments, before bowing his head and pulling her toward the exit door. The hotel was just across the street, so they walked, acting like a normal couple, but she could tell he was slightly on edge, by how his grip on her hand tightened slightly. He didn't want to be recognized, she surmised.

He led Violetta to the elevator, going up a few floors before they exited and walked down the hall to room 409. He fished in the pocket of his shorts, tapped the card on the sensor, and the door clicked open and he allowed her in first. He flicked on the light. To her surprise, someone had thoughtfully brought her bags up and placed them on the single bed.

There's only one bed. Fuck. Oh, wait, there's a couch.

"You can have the bed, sweetheart . I'll take the couch." He said, touching the small of her back before taking a pillow from the bed, saluting, and diving onto the couch with an audible " fuckin' hell".

She felt her temperature rise again at the use of the pet name. She wondered what III's nickname for her was going to be, since he was the only one of the boys she hadn't met yet.

She sat on the bed and glanced over at II...or Cal. She placed the can of Coke and her bottle of water on the night stand that filled the space between the couch and the bed. He was laying down, arms behind his head, his phone on his chest, and his eyes closed. He'd kicked off his shoes and his legs were propped up on the arm of the couch. Violetta leaned back against the pillows, turned the light off and took out her phone, setting the brightness as low as possible.

Vi: you don't have to sleep on the couch, it looks uncomfortable

Vi: also that can of Coke is for you

She waited and glanced over as she saw his phone light up. He took a second, opening one eye, typing a slow response then sending it.

Cal: really?

Vi: really what?

Cal: you can't just talk to me?

Cal: also thanks, how'd you know?

Vi: I can, I just kind of though this was cute

Vi: I guessed

Cal: very cute...sweetheart, if I come in that bed, we're not sleeping

Vi: is that a threat?

Cal: it's a fuckin promise

She sat up, her heart racing. What a fucking player. She didn't think he was like that. She responded back.

Vi: that's awful forward of you

He shifted, turning on his side with a loud sigh, then typed back to her.

Cal: im staying on the couch...not a good look for your first day if we fuck around

He'd been able to relax a little and feel confident in his words, as he wasn't saying them out loud. If he'd had to, he wouldn't be saying any of this.

Vi: maybe my second? 🤭

Cal: you're fuckin adorable

Violetta smiled and closed her eyes. Her phone vibrated again.

Cal: let's get to know each other first...not saying I'm not interested... I'd just like to know you better ...makes the sex better

Violetta let out a little squeak and laughed quietly. She kind of hoped he didn't hear her, but he probably did. She put her phone down next to her and rolled onto her side, letting her dreams take her to places she'd never been before, with the drummer hot and heavy in her thoughts.

¤ ¤ ¤

Conveniently enough, the next morning was not a show day, so the boys and the crew could relax. Violetta was still a little in college mode, so even though she'd gone to sleep past one in the morning, she still woke up at six a.m. her body ready to go for a walk like she did every morning for the past four years. She opened her eyes and it wasn't as bright as she'd thought. She certainly wasn't going to go for a walk in a country that she didn't know, without people she knew, so she looked over to the couch. Cal was gone. She looked down at her phone, which had two texts.

Cal: left you the key, text me when you're awake

The other was another unknown number.

Unknown: mornin, girlypop, waiting in the next room for you when you wake up

Violetta shook her head and smiled. This kept getting weirder, but more exciting. She dressed quickly, black leggings today, and a maroon Sleep Token sweatshirt over a navy Northlane tank top. She tousled her hair, putting it up in a claw clip, letting her bangs fall over her eyes. Now she knew III's nickname for her.

She took her phone and the key card, and headed out into the hallway. She texted the unknown number, who she was pretty sure she knew who it was.

Vi: uh, which next room?

She only had to wait a few seconds before she heard a door click to the right. A short girl with black long hair had stepped out, followed by the tallest, lankiest, most British looking guy she'd ever seen.

"Hi, Violetta. I'm Piper. I'm the merch manager. This is Steve." She outstretched her hand for Violetta to shake and then she shook Steve's hand after. He smiled wide, the smile reaching all the way up to his eyes, making the corners wrinkle.

" Girlypop , huh?" Violetta said with a smirk. Steve's laugh bellowed through the hall and Piper smacked him on the arm.

"You're so loud." She said and he grabbed her around the waist and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"Yeah but you like it. C'mon. Girlypop , breakfast time." Steve said, gently pushing Piper toward the elevator and making a come here motion with his hand at Violetta. When they stepped inside the elevator, Violetta took out her phone and texted Cal.

Vi: you didn't sleep much

It didn't take him long at all to respond.

Cal: mornin sweetheart, I'll meet you at breakfast

Vi: how do you know where we'll be?

Cal: you're not hard to find 😉

Violetta smiled as they left the elevator. They walked down a short hallway and entered a large dining room with several buffet tables set up. There were a lot of bands playing last night and a lot of them had stayed at this hotel. She followed Piper and Steve as they went through the line and grabbed food. Violetta wondered if she should get a plate for Cal.

Vi: food?

She waited a moment before scooping some scrambled eggs onto her plate, then bacon, some sort of sausage patties, and two muffins.

Cal: I'll share with you

She loaded the plate up with a few more things and saw that there were the big ass cans of Redbull. She took one of those and a big water bottle also. She followed Steve to a table, where Piper was already seated. Steve scooted in as close as he could to her and put an arm around her waist, pulling her close.

Out of seemingly nowhere, Vessel and IV showed up. Vessel sat on the other side of Piper with a muffin and a bottle of water, certainly not as close as Steve. IV sat next to Violetta with a full plate. He began devouring his food, glancing at Violetta every so often as she was slow to begin picking at her food.

Then she felt a presence beside her, a warm body touching hers. A tattooed hand reached out, stealing a piece of bacon from her plate to eat. He chewed happily and then placed one arm around Violetta's shoulders.

"Hi, sweetheart ." He said, low enough that only she heard it. No one seemed to notice him sitting, or putting his arm around her. Or eating from her plate the whole time. He even drank from the same can of Redbull as her, which made her chuckle a little the first time he took a sip, because he took it out of her hand and took a long sip right after her, then placed it back down.

Once everyone had finished, Vessel had volunteered to clear everyone's plates. Steve and Piper decided they were going to go down to the festival so they headed out soon after finishing. Violetta made sure she saved his number in her phone as "Steve" and put " Girlypop " in the notes. Cal still had his arm around her when IV sat back down.

"Sorry. I didn't actually introduce myself yesterday. I was so fuckin' tired. I'm Jesse." He said, offering his hand for Violetta to shake. She did and he smiled warmly back at her. Cal leaned forward and raised a brow at him. Jesse took Violetta's phone and put his number in by himself, then texted her.

Jesse: hey babes

She smiled and shook her head, then checked the little note next to his name. It was a winky face emoji. She immediately texted him back.

Vi: hi flirty

Jesse: you bet I am

Violetta raised her brows at him and he gently touched her shoulder before leaving the table, leaving her and Cal together. He leaned back again and took the last sip of the can of Redbull. Vessel sat down across from them.

"You can call me Roman if you want...instead of Vessel. Or call me Vessel. Or Ves. Doesn't really matter to me." He said, catching Violetta's eyes immediately.

"How are you going to give me your phone number, because everyone else's attempt has been an experience." She said with a grin. He also smiled and held his hand out. She put her phone in it, and he typed his number in the box at the top then gave it back. He'd left the name part blank.

"I leave that up to you, darling." He said, his super low baritone sending a shiver down her spine. She now had all four of the boys' numbers. She saved his as "Roman" but put "Vessel" in the notes.

"Anyone ever gets my phone they're gonna know all yalls identities." She said and glanced at Cal. He was scrolling on his phone, not paying much attention to their conversation, but his arm was still around her. It had fallen slightly and was more situated near the middle of her back now. He'd unconsciously begun drawing small circles there, which she had not realized until now. Her cheeks heated and she sighed, trying to put away any unwanted horny thoughts, but they just wouldn't stop.

"That's alright. We're on our way to revealing ourselves anyway." Roman said, finishing up the water he had grabbed.

"You are?" Violetta asked and he just nodded.

"We're healing. We've become something new." Roman said, then gently reached for her hand, placing his on hers for a moment before leaving her and Cal to each other again. She turned to him and he looked up from his phone immediately.

"You're healing?" She asked, brows knitting in concern.

"That's why I said I want us to get to know each other first. I have...some baggage...and I want you to be sure you wanna deal with my shit." He said, reaching for her other hand. He put it on his chest and she could feel his heartbeat was fast. Faster than it should be for sure. "This..." He motioned between her and himself, "is so unbelievably fuckin' nerve-wracking for me right now."

"Why?" She asked softly, spreading her fingers under his. He took a deep breath and she felt his heart kick up a notch more and his breathing quicken slightly as well.

"I had...an ex...batshit crazy. Trying to out us all among other things...which I want to tell you but I can't right now...but...she fucked us all up." He explained, trying to stay calm and not trip over his words.

"You don't have to tell me anymore right now." Violetta said, feeling his grip on her hand tighten. She saw hesitation in those ocean blue eyes of his. She could even catch a twinge of fear. "I won't pretend to understand what you went through...but I'll be here for you if you want to talk about it...and if you don't...we don't have to."

He smiled warmly at her admission and pulled her close for a hug to show that he appreciated it. When he pulled away, he caught a glimpse of her emerald eyes and he could've melted at how pretty they were in the morning light. Violetta leaned closer, the tip of her nose touching his and he closed the last few centimeters, letting his lips just graze hers, a ghost of a kiss. When they parted, Violetta noticed he was shaking slightly and she embraced him once again.

"What the fuck did she do to you?" She asked softly, not necessarily at him but just in anger toward his ex. She'd beat the shit out of the girl if she ever met her.

#sleep token #sleep token fic #sleep token ii #vessel sleep token #sleep token band #iv sleep token #iii sleep token #sleep token fanfiction #sleep token ii x oc

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fairydares · 1 year ago

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other contender for the funniest plot twist/reveal in Fairy Tail was that Laxus's Anime Eccentricity is "bad sense of direction"

wym...wym though because you exiled him 😭 did he just spend those two whole months pretending not to be constantly 100% lost? was he just stalking around in the desert with false confidence and a knapsack?

he finally reunites with the guild on tenrou:

"i've been...all over this world of ours" $5 to tell me one location

"i just happened to be passing by" we already knew that was 100% a lie, but now it's 200% a lie because you never could've found your way there on your own apparently

we are finally made privy to this info in the TARTAROS arc...bye lmao

#laxus dreyar #fairy tail #posts i actually wrote

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lizardsfromspace · 11 months ago

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Every time I see that last supper Lost promo for the final season I'm amused that Ilana's in it. Ilana is actually the best and funniest case of Lost leaving plot threads on the table but it never gets brought up bc you have to have actually watched the whole show to know it instead of just going "well did they ever explain the Smoke Monster" (yes)

So if you haven't seen it, and don't mind spoilers (there are full series spoilers below), Ilana was introduced as a recurring character in the back half of season 5. She was promoted a lot more than usual for a guest star, with it more or less being stated upfront she'd be a main character in season 6. She was a mysterious woman who was on Ajira 316, the plane that brought the survivors back to the Island. But it turns out she's working for Jacob or something, and is carrying a mysterious steel crate, etc. She's clearly set up as important, and in the season finale, we're given a brief and enigmatic flashback where she's heavily bandaged in a hospital and is visited by Jacob.

It was announced before season six that the actress would be promoted to a series regular, and she was in all the cast promos; like the "lost supper" one. So it was set up that she'd be Important

But. Uh. Between promoting the actress to a regular, and doing the promos, and starting work on season six, the writers realized they didn't have time in the final season to develop a whole new main character and her backstory. But she was already signed on for the whole season! So what did they do?

After half a season of build up, Ilana does absolutely nothing. Outside of one episode she's basically an extra. After all that mysterious set-up and obvious ties to the central figure of the mythology (who's implied to be her dad!) she gets no further backstory or development. And then twelve episodes into the season this happens

youtube

This is, of course, a callback to a different character exploding in the same way in the first season. I don't know why it's a callback. It doesn't even really work for shock value bc again, it's identical to a shocking death the show famously did five seasons ago, so you kinda brace yourself for it when someone starts tossing around dynamite. I don't know why any of this happened

What I love about this whole arc is that, if they had thought things through and realized "wait, we don't have time for this" between seasons they could've just had Ilana die in the season premiere. But they had the realization so late they had to feature her anyway

The amazing part was, this was the second time this had happened. Before season 5 it was announced that it would have two major recurring characters who would be regulars in season 6, Ilana and Caesar, played by Said Taghmaoui. But they must've realized they had no time for Caesar much faster bc they killed him off after only a couple episodes, without ever revealing anything about him

Anyway when you think of Weird Unsolved Lost Moments, think less of the big ones that aren't even really true (no they were not "dead the whole time"), and think of that time they introduced someone as Jacob's daughter & had her do nothing & then spontaneously explode

#lost #television #long post #Youtube

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strawberrymixt · 3 months ago

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I can't use emojis on this device but I thought I'd send in an ask for this thing anyway, if you don't mind :D

I read (and re-read the bits that were older) 'Buy Me Coffee?' a bit ago and wanted to ask about that one! I get that one's a bit long so maybe a section of a newer chapter, like chapter 9/nf

thanks for the ask! <3 and it's really not a problem to cover all of what i've written so far (and upcoming chapters) :] i like to yap about my stories.

in general: if i'm remembering correctly, i conjured this idea around 2020-2021, so when i was a freshman in high school, but i never actually published it until 2023 (junior year). which is kinda crazy, since i obviously wasn't in college then. but i am now, so i can write it (somewhat) more accurately now.

as for how i came up for the concept for "buy me coffee?" itself... i don't really remember. i mean, i knew i liked cafes and wanted to write an au about it, but i forgot where i got the inspiration for the plot itself. i want to say it was from a "plot shop" fic on wattpad but i don't really remember for sure.

chapter 1: you would not BELIEVE the amount of times i ended up rewriting the very first chapter. like, i'm pretty sure i've rewritten it at LEAST 10 times, minimum. still, i liked how it turned out—i consider it my funniest chapter low-key.

chapter 2: i don't necessarily HATE this chapter, but i do think i could've probably written the conversation between kaito and shuichi a bit better because it felt a bit info-dumpy, but whatever.

chapter 3: i think this might've been my favorite chapter to write so far. i just have a soft spot for bowling, hence why it was the main focus of the chapter. and arcades in general. oh, and i really like the WOH, in case you couldn't tell :3 the arcade is going to be brought up again, so look forward to that!

chapter 4: i had a very hard time writing the beginning of this chapter for some reason??? 😭 i still kinda don't like it and i think that contributes to why i consider it my least favorite chapter so far. i did like writing the LGBT club bit tho

chapter 5: this was definitely the most random chapter i've written so far in terms of what was happening, imo, and i kinda didn't like it at first but then a commenter said that they liked the scene where kaito makes shuichi his sidekick, so i have a better opinion of it now :p

chapter 6: goddamn the interactions between kokichi & hiyoko were my favorite thing to write in this chapter (i really need to write more content for them).

chapter 7: this is my second favorite chapter so far; half because of the saimota interaction, and half because i really love cats :D

chapter 8: like i said in the author's note, i had planned for something completely different to happen here, but i've decided to push it back to a later chapter, so i won't spoil that, but i really had to scramble to write something so training time!

upcoming chapters: i actually have a majority of the chapters planned for this fic, i just actually need to write them (curse my mental illness 😡), but for the next chapter some more development between saimota happens. also, kaede, maki, and kokichi make a re-appearance because i miss writing for them! i haven't gotten too far into it, but here's a little snippet of the beginning (subject to change):

You know how you have those times where you don't feel like doing a certain task, so you put it off until later? Yeah, that was the exact predicament Kaito was in the moment. Except, well… he had been putting off a five-page essay that was due in less than two hours. Which was why he was now furiously typing away at his laptop while he sat in the cafe that day, because goddammit, he was not going to let his procrastination get in the way of completing his dare!

but, yeah! :D this is my favorite longfic to write, and i hope i can actually see it through to the end!

#i probably forgot to mention something but whatever #kala's mail #ask game #danganronpa #fanfic writing #fanfiction #buy me coffee?#kala writes

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heejamas · 16 days ago

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I LAUGHED SO HARD AT YOU GOING ON A DATE FOR FIC RESEARCH PURPOSES!!! omg you are SO SO FUNNY i read nicest guy and it was the funniest thing ever when i tell you you must be so so fun to be with irl I MEAN IT

i wanna know other date stories you have

LMFAOOOOO OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH 😭 i do have a few interesting date stories and i can tell you a recent one that was weird af

lmao this date was a trainwreck fr ok so i went on this date and this dude he takes me to some "exclusive club" for like only the super rich and he deadass thought i'd be impressed??? like no cap i was so fkn annoyed but THE WHOLE PLACE LOWKEY LOOKED LIKE A SATANIC CULT MEETING no joke and when i walked in i saw ppl wearing balenciaga like tf bro if you're rich buy some decent clothes yk balenciaga is peak tacky for rich ppl it just pisses me off

anyways he told me the dress code was "dress like you're going to a cool bar with friends" so i was like bet and i threw on a leather jacket, a skirt, and my adidas sambas yk and then i show up, and this mf is in a SUIT!!!!!!! like why didn't you tell me to SUIT UP 😭😭😭😭

then we get to the restaurant at the club and it's hella expensive and he's all like "i'm paying for everything!" PERSONALLY i hate when guys do that cause i don't mind splitting the bill, but they say it like they're doing you some huge favor and he was so rich it felt like he was treating me like some poor girl he found on the street the whole time 😭😭😭 BUT THEN at the end of the date, he ordered one mf CAESAR SALAD AND WE SPLIT IT. A FKN CAESAR SALAD. like i went on a expensive ass restaurant date to split a caesar salad? dude i could've gone to the damn chipotle for that

and then, the ultimate plot twist: at the end of the date he offered to drive me home all gentlemanly and i was like "nah i'm good i have my car" and he goes "oh, too bad, i wanted to know where you live. i've never been to your side of the city, i've always been scared, but i'd go for you" BRO. I LITERALLY LAUGHED IN HIS FACE SERIOUSLY this mf thought i lived under the bridge or something?? i'm just a suburban girl like I AM SO SORRY i don't live in a penthouse apartment like you richie rich

i love reading fanfics where the guy is a rich douchebag and the resder is just a normal pleb but when it happens irl i get so triggered lmaooooo FUCK RICH MEN I HATE THEM ALL

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moltensmusings · 1 year ago

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Alright I've watched the whole season so I'm going to mention things I did and didn't like about Hazbin hotel

Likes

I've never been the biggest angel dust fan but I enjoyed how he was handled. I think the decision to have him bond with husk and husk just be able to see through everyone's facades was smart

Husk and mimzy were always my favorite designs from way back when and after the pilot I really wanted to see more of husk since he had no screen time so I enjoyed his plot. Hope season 2 gives us more of his backstory as an overlord.

I liked mimzy's inclusion, wish she stayed longer but I understand why she didn't.

The overlords and their disputes were a lot of fun, vox vs Alastor was something that kept me wanting to watch. Very interested to see where alastor goes.

Nifty consistently had some of the funniest lines to me. I feel like they balanced her screen time well.

Vaggie and Charlie were cute in the screentime they got together

The music was great.

The decision in the rewrite to make Vaggie fully nonhuman was smart. I remember Viv originally had her being from the 80s but the choice of making her an angel who fell I did like a lot.

Sir pentious was a fun addition.

Those bits of Alastor's true demon form coming out were amazing. Favorite animation moments.

Generally I enjoyed the show for what it was. I can name more but just know largely I liked a lot of it. Way more than I expected.

Dislikes

I didn't really care for Adam. Not an "oh he's horrible I hate him" more that I just didn't find him to be a compelling antagonist.

I don't understand why all the angels were so shocked their weapons could harm each other when they seemed to be aware of it when vaggie got her eye gouged. I feel like they could've written that plot point better (like they're aware but just keep the knowledge hidden and make sure no angelic metal makes it to hell, like why does Adam seem more annoyed than shocked when he finds a dead angel.)

Sir Pentious death feels like it happened too soon. It didn't hit as hard as someone like Husk, Angel, or Vaggie's would have because we just didn't get as much time with him as most of the cast. I don't even remember them focusing on his backstory at all (I'm aware he's been redeemed and will return, but for those moments of thinking he was dead it just didn't feel as impactful as it could've)

I wish for characters like Alastor they'd leaned into making their costumes look more like the times they were from. His hair and his coat feel so modern.

I wish they'd had more episodes for character development/time. 6 months happening over an 8 episode period is too fast. Especially because (again) they killed off a hotel character.

Continuing the previous point, more episodes could've introduced us to more characters like Cherrybomb. Characters who know the main cast but opt not to stay in the hotel. So that the final battle would've felt a bit bigger/more tense with a bunch of characters we know on the line.

This one is more personal preference: I wish they'd gone more horrific with true forms. Charlie is fully not human, give us a beastial form for her.

People have mentioned it before, but they really should've axed Alastor's connection to Voodoo in the rewrite.

I once again want to say: largely I enjoyed the show. I went into it as a person who was a massive fan of vivziepop between 2015-2017. I wasn't the biggest fan of the humor in Helluva boss but liked the hazbin crew so I wanted to give it a shot and it was so much better than I expected. I just had some parts I didn't personally like.

#hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #if theres a critical tag let me know and ill edit my tags!#molten rambles

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bigskydreaming · 6 months ago

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The funniest fucking grudge in the entire Wild Cards series is from how much Bradley Finn hates Jay Ackroyd. Finn is a joker doctor whose mutation turned him into a centaur, while Jay is an ace private investigator whose ace power is that he's a projecting teleport. He can't teleport himself, but he can teleport anyone anywhere he's ever been, no matter how far away it is now. (He has to make finger guns at the person he's teleporting or it doesn't work. A lot of ace powers have a weird, personal psychological component to activating them).

Anyway, Jay was one of only two people from Earth to ever end up on a far away space-faring planet called Takis because Plot Reasons. And over a decade after his return to Earth, he and Dr. Finn got involved in Potentially Lethal Shenanigans, and while in a place where they were both potentially about to be killed, Jay - let's say....panicked - and in a well intentioned but not actually necessary use of his ace power, he popped Bradley Finn safely away to the first place he could think of when trying to come up with a place where the bad guys wouldn't be able to get to him easily.

....so yeah, he full on teleported Finn to another planet half-way across the galaxy.

Cut to another twenty years later, when Finn has made it back to Earth after his own very long and VERY offscreen odyssey that involved contracts with the Network because despite all the space-faring species out there, nobody was particularly interested in going out of their way to help some rando from a species most of them had never heard of get home to a planet most of them had never heard of.....

And its kind of a running gag that Jay has very studiously been doing everything possible to avoid Finn since he heard he returned to Earth, despite them running in similar circles and knowing a lot of the same people.

He's like "so uh, just curious, do you happen to know if Brad's still pissed about....y'know. That thing?"

Their mutual friend, a shape-shifting private detective who frequently screws himself over by shape-shifting into famous actors from decades ago and forgetting that other people aside from him remember these actors existed and also they're dead which is kinda a giveaway....and who also once accidentally shape-shifted himself into King Kong once and got stuck like that, it was a whole thing, look, he makes interesting choices, its literally the only reason he and Jay are friends: You mean that time you teleported him lightyears away from home and it took him several years to find a way back? Yes, Jay. Yes, I believe he is in fact still pissed about that.

Jay: Ugh! He's being so unreasonable, you agree with me at least, right? I was TRYING to save his life!

Mr. Nobody: And did you? DID you save his life, Jay? Was his life actually going to be ended if you DIDN'T send him ALL THE WAY to Takis?

Jay: Well TECHNICALLY....no. But I didn't KNOW THAT at the time!

Mr. Nobody: Yeah, sorry bud. Hate to say it, but pretty sure this is not actually one of those "its the thought that counts" moments.

Jay: ....fine. How many more years do you think it'll take him to get over it?

Mr. Nobody: Well, my guess is that depends. How many years did it take him to get back to Earth from the other side of the galaxy?

Jay: Whose side are you on anyway?

Mr. Nobody: Its cute that you think ANYONE'S winning here.

Jay: Ugh, bite me.

Mr. Nobody: New York, Jay. You guys were in Europe. You could've just sent him back to New York. Where you both live. And work. And -

Jay: I KNOOOOOOOOW. I was literally being trigger happy. I get it. I've heard ALL the jokes by now.

Mr. Nobody: Mmm. Yes. And I'm sure that has been very hard for you. Not as hard as crossing the galaxy, perhaps, but -

Jay: You're a terrible friend. Positively hateful. I'm cutting your salary.

Mr. Nobody: I'm independently wealthy.

Jay: HATEFUL.

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lividria · 1 year ago

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Pikmin: Global Survey: Alph(a Wraith)

So one of my friends wanted to make a bunch of shitpost nintendo game ideas for something and he accidentally timed it right at the start of my pikmin hyperfixation so i went way beyond it and accidentally just made an entire pikmin AU essentially, it was meant to be pikmin 5 (and beyond) but for the sake of not retroactive consequences when/if pikmin 5 comes out i will call it Pikmin: Global Survey because the plot is pikmin 4's research team (plus other people) trying to explore as much of PNF-404 as possible to study stuff

so i'll start talking about it with the darkest & most serious idea of them all that started as a series of jokes and ended as the set-up for one of the funniest ideas i've ever had, what happens to alph

when i was writing the google doc from before i was taking this even remotely seriously i just wrote in the character section "Alph is dead." to explain why i brought back brittany and only brittany besides her just being my favorite of the koppaites (there was an entire gag planned where charlie was busy in a war in pikmin 5, mentioned being MIA in pikmin 6 and then pikmin 7's credits shows he's somehow on PNF-404 like pikmin 4 does with louie but that's the end of the series so he never gets an actual role), but then i realized i could work with that and it spiraled from dumb joke to extremely screwed up plotline

so the idea became like, for whatever reason koppai is going through a civil war after pikmin 3 (which i think takes place after pikmin 4 and i will treat it as such), and one of the sides decides to go to PNF-404 because they don't want to be in koppai anymore and they know there's food there as you can tell they didn't really think about it, and among other people charlie & alph are sent to get them to not do that but those 2 in particular are incredibly terrified of what's going to happen to all those people because they've seen all sorts of monsters, the plasm wraith in specific being yea, and given that they had siblings in pikmin 4 they could've heard about other shit like the water wraith which doesn't help

go fucking figure they crash, and alph and his ship lands right in front of the formidable oak (no idea where the other crew members went and it doesn't matter), and he's obviously panicking, and then the plasm wraith rears up behind him, clearly remembering him as one of the people who took olimar, and skewers him

with such a death you won't be surprised he comes back as a ghost, specifically the Alpha Wraith (i don't know if he counts as an actual wraith but what else would you call him, the Alpha Spirit? ...wait that doesn't sound bad actually), which is a bunch of concentrated alpha radiation (i love puns... does that count as a pun i don't know definitions) vaguely in the shape of a monster soul but with alph's face, hair and ears (but made of the radiation still obviously), and since he was the keen engineer in life he can control machinery & metal in general (he can probably like levitate metal around and assemble it into stuff but i haven't thought about it enough) but inhabiting anything for too long causes it to rust so he constantly has to jump around or stay vessel-less (i looked it up and radiation can actually cause rust but idk the details), but he obviously would prefer not just hanging out because radiation, if someone touches him that'd be bad, and by the time the research team finds him he's completely destroyed the spaceship he showed up with and i haven't figured the rest out from there besides him joining the team sorta lol but brittany is obviously very conflicted about the news because on one hand alph is dead but on the other hand he still exists sorta (but can't be taken out of pnf-404 because of course)

now for the actual reason i'm posting this, all of that leads up to this one idea for a gag comic that i was mentally assaulted with that i unfortunately cannot bring to fruition, where like, alph is obviously still not on good terms with louie after pikmin 3, so louie walks into whatever ship he's using and watches in terror as it begins to read out AM's hate monologue from I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream, louie stares up in terror with his horrible bulging eyes, while alph & brittany lose their shit in a nearby bush watching this happen

so this is a desperate attempt to see if anyone sees this and brings that to life because if you were there at the time and saw my reaction when that specific thought formulated in my brain it'd look like a ghost strangled me but if you saw my oatchi wraith post you know i am not particularly capable of creating it myself, so here we go

if anyone is interested in more ideas from this entire au almost-fanfic thingy whatever you'd call it i have a lot more to talk about with this idea but i don't think much of it is anywhere close to alph's part in most departments lol, sorry for the rambling & tangents but if you thought i was rambling too much in this post you're really in for it when/if i get into the other plot points

#pikmin #pikmin au #pikmin global survey #alph

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autumnsrage · 1 year ago

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Terentuis D.

Gives Negan/Salamanca vibes.

“Your kid machine gunned a bunch of my men down, and I brought them home, safe and sound, and I fed her spaghetti.”

——————————————————————————-

Terentuis just being a weird but well-meaning guy was the funniest plot twist they could've gone with, he didn't even seem to know he was acting suspicious half the time? when he started sword fighting next to Autumn and he was just like 'hi sweetie!!!🥰' like he was so excited for another opportunity to bond with his granddaughter.

———————————————————————————

So maybe Terentuis isn’t alive/undead when Autumn summons him to fight his still living wife who murdered him. Maybe autumn summoned him thinking he was someone else-one of the few beings strong enough to defeat Zinnia? So she initially doesn’t believe it when the person she summoned turns out to be an old “”human”” man/based off the stories she has read and heard about describing Terentuis because she and anyone else would have assumed he was a Giant Muscled Barbaric Sadist magick casting killing machine and he’s just a super sarcastic eager to be involved and bonding grandfather and finding out what happened to autumn and rose makes him human.

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hollowed-theory-hall · 11 months ago

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Yes, to all of this.

Book 7 has some really good moments, but then spits in your face with other moments. Like, I was more bored reading book 1, as I'm not its biggest fan, but book 7 is so much more frustrating because it's the end. It's supposed to be the highest stakes, the penultimate Harry Potter book. And then it kinda falls flat, while still having really good scenes that make me wish the whole book was like that.

I actually think the plot point with the unforgivable and how Harry changed could've worked even if this book, if it was introduced earlier. Like, imagine a world where the locket does feed on Umbridges magic and is more awake, and active and human. And during the infiltration of the ministry, Harry uses unforgivables, and the locket sees it, all their time sitting around with the locket could suddenly turn into juicy character exploration.

The locket would remind Harry of the unforgiveable he cast constantly, reminding him he isn't that different from Voldemort. And Harry would wonder if the locket is right. As he slowly sees more and more through his connection with Voldemort and thinks about how he would have to kill Voldemort at the end of it: "one must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives"

He could've had a whole arc about it that could've been great to read!

And it could've gone multiple different ways, from Harry becoming more willing to cast unforgivable, justifying it by being a war with the locket laughing at the back of his mind, or he could've gone the complete other way, burned by the knowledge he shares something with Voldemort.

Have that cause some tension and arc for Ron and Hermione too. I don't think Ron reacted at all to Harry casting the Imperius at Gringotts like it's nothing, so, yeah.

And, I think, the locket trying to revive itself the way the diary did, would've been so much more interesting than, just, like, sitting around and causing the group to be angry.

And if you want them on the run, there are ways to do that. Have them move from place to place. Between muggle houses and muggle hotels and the confound people as they leave. Have them question the ethics of that. (and perhaps find a different solution for Hermione's parents).

I definitely agree with the Horcruxes having stronger defenses, I mean, I really liked the retrieval of both the locket and the cup, when we see the trio work as a heist team, these are some of the funniest parts if the book, and it could've been great to see them planning for other types of situations to retrieve the other Horcruxes.

And it'll be better if Fiendfyre couldn't destroy a Horcrux so it wouldn't seem contrived that they are stuck with a Horcrux without killing it for months on end. Or, if Fiendfyre still destroys Horcrux, give a good reason that the group isn't casting it. Make it like an unforgivable curse, something they tried and failed at casting, just something more reasonable than: "oh, I thought it was too dangerous," because there are ways to make it safer by choosing a desolated location that has no kindling.

And I feel like we really barely see the war itself. Like, for the trio, for most of the book, it doesn't feel like there's a war. And there isn't, not really.

By book 7, the government was taken over practically overnight. There wasn't an actual war at any point, not really. And we see some of the changes that came about in the ministry, we see the Death Eaters, but Voldemort isn't really relevant to what the Death Eaters are doing, he isn't there. So it feels like the book doesn't build up to Voldemort being the cause of all of the shitty things in the ministry, he's the Death Eaters' excuse.

This could have been explored better, with the trio realizing the ministry barely changed and it sucked just as much before. Realizing killing one man wouldn't just solve everything magically. Like, I still want Harry to face Voldemort, and the prophecy would still happen, I just think the buildup towards it could've been better. Make the fight with Voldemort more personal and treat the ministry as somewhat a separate thing. I mean the ministry being corrupt even without Voldemort is a plot point that has been built up since book 4 and it would've been nice if it got some attention and not be glossed over for the sake of a happy ending that feels out of place.

Normally, I post theories on this blog, and what I usually do is solve plot holes, but I'm currently rereading Deathly Hallows, and I honestly forgot how stupid some decisions there are. So, I'm compiling some of them here to maybe theorize and solve these plot holes later. But for now, I'm baffled.

1. I just reached the part where they started camping in the woods, and Harry just started being hungry, and I don't think I can adequately describe how dumb that is. Like, I can get wanting to stay hidden and stuff, but why not call Kreacher?

I mean, Harry showed in HBP he can just call Kreacher to him:

But the question was, how to call him? What did you do? Quietly, tentatively, Harry spoke into the darkness. “Kreacher?” There was a very loud crack, and the sounds of scuffling and squeaks filled the silent room.

(HBP, 419)

Why not call Kreacher and tell him to bring food to the tent? He's a house-elf, so he could apparate through their wards with no problem. They could've had Kreacher's cooking still, I just don't get it.

2. They didn't actually need to leave Grimmauld Place at all. The book explains it like this:

“Harry, I think he can. I—I forced him to let go with a Revulsion Jinx, but I’d already taken him inside the Fidelius Charm’s protection. Since Dumbledore died, we’re Secret-Keepers, so I’ve given him the secret, haven’t I?” There was no pretending; Harry was sure she was right. It was a serious blow. If Yaxley could now get inside the house, there was no way that they could return. Even now, he could be bringing other Death Eaters in there by Apparition.

(DH, 271)

But Yaxley wouldn't be a Secret Keeper, he couldn't bring other Death Eaters inside. This isn't how the magic works.

After Dumbledore dies, everyone he told the secret to becomes the Secret Keeper. Hermione is a Secret Keeper. She can reveal the secret to Yaxley by appparating him, but that doesn't turn Yaxley into a Secret Keeeper. It's just one Death Eater who knows how to get in that Harry and Co can kidnap, obliviate, or kill if they're really stressed about it. Yaxley couldn't bring anyone else inside regardless of how much he wanted to. He isn't a Secret Keeper, so all the other Death Eaters would've had to wait outside and watch the place the house should be in like they did up to this point.

And sure, Snape is a Secret Keeper but considering he somehow lied his way out of telling them the secret, even though we see Death Eaters stationed outside Grimmauld Place, I think it's safe to say, he wouldn't tell even after Yaxley knew and potentially returned with this information. I mean, the fact the Death Eaters are watching outside Grimmauld Place tells us Snape didn't tell them, and it should tell Harry, Ron, and Hermione Snape didn't betray the secret, as otherwise, the Death Eaters would've just broken in to search for them.

3. If we're talking of the Fidelius Charm and Secret Keepers, I don't get why Bill and Arthur Weasley have to be their own Secret Keepers. Why create this plot hole so late in the game? I mean, up until book 7, I didn't question why James and Lily had to have a third party as their Secret Keeper. It was just how the spell worked. Well, not anymore.

So, now I have to wonder why they were convinced they needed someone else, someone outside the house? Perhaps it was out of paranoia? So that if something happened to them anyway there'd be someone outside who could bring help?

4. And don't even get me started on the Battle of the Seven Potters. I mean, apparition or side-along apparition are completely viable methods of transportation, so why brooms? Wtf?

I mean, the Order makes this same ludicrous decision in OotP, when they transport Harry from the Dursleys to Grimmauld Place on brooms, so at least they're consistent in their stupidity.

Like, I could make an excuse for the use of brooms if they're trying to evade the Trace. According to how I believe the Trace works, the Trace wouldn't pick up on a broom the same way it didn't pick up on the flying Ford Angelica. It's an item already enchanted, magic isn't being cast, so it doesn't pick on it. So, while the Trace would pick up on apparition, it won't pick up on broom flight.

The problem with this is that in OotP we see the Order cast magic inside the Dursleys' house, making any chance of avoiding the Trace moot:

“Don’t be stupid, it’ll be much quicker if I — pack!” cried Tonks, waving her wand in a long, sweeping movement over the floor. Books, clothes, telescope, and scales all soared into the air and flew pell-mell into the trunk.

(OotP, 53)

And in DH, Harry is already 17, and the Trace shouldn't be a problem for him, so this excuse doesn't really hold water...

I'm sure I'll remember more as I continue reading, but these are the ones that really bother me now. Rant over (at least until I find a hopefully not super contrived way to make all this make sense in-universe).

#harry potter #hp #harry potter thoughts #hp thoughts #hollowedrambling

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