#Friedrich II

[fritz-on-a-blitz]

when it's codextober but this man holds your mental health hostage while enjoying his cursed coffee™

credits for base pose: mellon_soup on tiktok

[merry-kenobi]

Short clip from a German silent film from 1922/23 - Movie: Fredericus Rex

[best-hohenzollern-ruler]

Friedrich der Große (r. 1740 - 1786)

'Old Fritz'

Friedrich's relationship with his father, Friedrich Wilhelm I, is an oft-discussed topic. It was marked by public and private abuses and emotional and physical in nature. While the King's beheading of the then-crown prince's friend was the culmination of this treatment, it was consistent over Fritz's adolescence. Denigrated for his effeminacy, physically assaulted, and denied all earthy respite; it is little wonder that Fritz attempted to flee his father's persecution the first chance he had.

In 1740, Friedrich led Prussia against its first bout against Austrian tyranny. Did we have any claim to Silesia? Not a one. Did we agree to the Pragmatic Sanction? Technically, yes. Did that matter to Old Fritz? It did not, and for that he brought Prussia out of the scrapheap and into history! Because of him Prussia will live on for centuries! ...What the hell is a Kaliningrad?

Many rumors abounded about Friedrich's paramours and proclivities. It's the burden of every great man to endure these sorts of challenges, you see. Some say his testicles were malformed or, even, nonexistent. Some say everything was in fine working order and he sired bastard children with a Madame von Wreech. Some - and this is most absurd, you will agree - even posit that he was a homosexual. I understand hating your wife all too well, but that does not mean 'fortune is a woman and I am not that way inclined' suggests anything improper! ...Voltaire wrote what (Note: I am concerned for your health -L)

Friedrich III (r. March 1888 - June 1888)

The 99-Day King

Surprisingly for a Hohenzollern, Friedrich took a relatively liberal stance to politics. Even more shocking was his pacifist streak that led him to oppose our wars against Denmark, Austria, and France. Do not let his heart fool you; even a Prussian pacifist is nothing to sneer at. In all three conflicts, he commanded his troops capably and treated his opponents with the utmost dignity.

There were many hopes pinned to Friedrich's reign, put there both by himself and his supporters. Alas, he ascended to the throne when he was already terminally il with laryngeal cancer. Push and push as liked, what reforms could a dying emperor make? The most significant aspect of his reign is what it may have been - and what it could have avoided.

We have received a letter, whose author only identified herself as an 'American woman.' It reads: 'I know Fritz is going to beat Fritz, but please look at him. Isn't he the most dreamy Hohenzollern you've ever seen? Those piercing eyes, that strong nose, that beard you could lose your hand in. So what if he didn't like his son? That a crime now in this family? Fritz, your wife is gone, but I know one English maiden who's still seeking a good man. HEY-O!' (Note: Burn this debauchery -L)

[herzeliebes-waltherlin]

sans-souci ist das hakuna matata des 18. jahrhunderts

[acrossthewavesoftime]

Happy Birthday, Old Fritz!

Someone turned 311 today, and I would almost have forgotten. So here are my Top 4 Most Dubious Fritz-Related pictures, as taken by me:

1. Postcard from Prussia

Found in an antique bookshop. There were lots of them, all unused. And small wonder why: These Greetings from Potsdam do indeed show the man whom the city's advertising vampire bleeds touristically dry, but the statue depicted on the card is the one on the Unter den Linden boulevard... in Berlin.

2. Fellas, Is It Brandenburg to Be Gay?

This one is on me. The interactive exhibit in the Haus der Brandenburgisch-Preußischen Geschichte (House of the History of Brandenburg-Prussia) museum asked visitors to use the magnetic scrabble board to spell out what they think of Brandenburgers-- instead of going for the cliché of monosyllabic, gruff rustics (or indeed a more truthful, or flattering description), I decided to leave this contribution.

In all seriousness, there are people out there (and I met some of them myself) who don't know Friedrich II. was gay. And maybe, someone who didn't yet know got to see this, and did some research. One can hope, right?

3. It's (Not) Potayto, Potahto

It was quite dark and the bad lighting from a phone flashlight doesn't make it any easier to see, but the purple potato in the middle (which was adorned by a beautifully drawn FR monogram in pink marker) looked suspiciously like a sweet potato. Those were, as far as I know, in fact not introduced by Fritz-- though it has to be said that, while his cunning plan to trick Prussian peasants into farming potatoes makes for a good story, this isn't what happened historically, either. But never let truth come in the way of a good story, right? And this is why until this day, visitors to his grave leave a (sweet) potato behind.

4. The Ghosts of New Palace

So technically I know there is ongoing conservation and restoration work in the building that very likely continues well after the visiting hours have passed. Not-so-technically, I would like to believe that Fritz and a select guest list of fellow ghosts are having a big (birthday-) party behind the windows that were illumined quite unusually late at night when I took this picture.

[sherbertilluminated]

my friends & I projecting onto people who died centuries ago

[surbifarfaen]

Prince Frederick II & Hans Hermann von Katte

(Please ignore the horrible background, I’m very lazy)

[diioonysus]

women in art: ophelia

[ghuleh-draws]

would you feel comfortable sketching Copia and Secondo drinking juice boxes together? :3 <3 if so, please and thank you xx

Secondo realizes Copia might be on to something with the juice box thing 🤔

[emahriel]

Anor Friedrich

DRAGON'S DOGMA 2

[merry-kenobi]

Walking Kattes last way makes me feel so many emotions...

[goodsped]

look at these idiots

[best-hohenzollern-ruler]

Wilhelm II (r. 1888-1918)

The Last Kaiser

Well, as you all know, our esteemed Kaiser has had a few bumps along the road of his reign. Most notable was, of course, the sacking of Chancellor Otto von Bismarck, which made waves all across Europe. So far, the Iron Chancellor's successors have possessed none of the realpolitik skills needed to govern the country and this "dropping of the pilot" will surely be seen as one of Wilhelm II's greatest failures.

His Majesty has greatly expanded our navy, including the Nassau class of battleship, our response to the British Dreadnought. While some have railed against this expensive arms race with the British, His Majesty assures us that Germany must establish itself on the seas to be taken seriously. One cannot help but wonder if His Majesty's increasingly frantic search for "a place in the sun" has any connection to his upbringing.

His abrasive personality has led to Germany's isolation from former allies Russia and Britain, which places Germany in a precarious geopolitical situation should war in Europe break out. (Note: Don't be ridiculous -T)

Friedrich I (r. 1688-1714)

First King in Prussia

Persuaded the Pope to elevate the duchy of Brandenburg-Prussia to a kingdom, creating the Kingdom of Prussia. Were it not for him, our great state would have never existed. Unfortunately he was unable to claim the title "King of Prussia" due to some ridiculous dispute with the Poles.

A patron of education, he created the Prussian Academy of Arts and the Royal Prussian Academy of Sciences. The later was shut down under his son due to monetary constraints, but was later reopened and reorganized until Friedrich der Große.

Although he was militarily opposed to the French, he did incorporate a lot of French culture into his court in an imitation of Louis XIV.

[acrossthewavesoftime]

Der Kronprinz singt

Friedrich der Große als Kronprinz, Antoine Pesne, 1736. Vormals Berliner Stadtschloss, heute: Huis Doorn, via Wikimedia Commons.

Auf einer nächtlichen Zugfahrt durch ein Land, in dem man Bisamratten im Freibad sieht und in dem es auch wieder Wölfe geben soll, entstand aus einer vergnügten Laune heraus im Gespräch mit einer gleichsam historisch interessierten Reisegefährtin die Idee, die allseits bekannte inoffizielle Hymne Brandenburgs einigermaßen historisch nach den Erlebnissen und persönlichen Empfindungen des berümtesten aller preußischen Könige als jungem Mann umzugestalten. Von Friedrich Wilhelm I. beim Tabaskollegium zugequalmt zu werden kann ja wohl kaum schlimmer sein, als nach Zugausfall auf unbestimmte Zeit in einer brandenburgischen Kleinstadt festzuhängen... oder?

Jedenfalls exisitiert jetzt eine nagelneue Textfassung von Rainald Grebes Brandenburg aus der Sicht des 18-jährigen Fritz.

Zum darüber lachen, den Kopf schütteln und meinetwegen auch unter der Dusche singen:

Es gibt Länder, wo was los ist

Es gibt Länder, wo richtig was los ist, und es gibt

Brandenburg, Brandenburg

In Brandenburg, in Brandenburg

Gabs wieder einmal einen Fahnenfluchtversuch

Was soll man auch machen mit 17, 18 in Brandenburg?

Es sind nicht alle Lange Kerls, doch mangelts Vattern an Ideen  

Ich muss von diesem Wüstling endlich weggehen

Aus Brandenburg

Da steht der König auf dem Hügel und findet keinen zum Verprügeln

In Brandenburg, Brandenburg

Ich fühl mich heut‘ so leer, ich fühl mich Brandenburg

In England wär‘ ich einer von 6 Millionen

In Brandenburg muss ich bei meinem Vater wohnen

Brandenburg

In Berlin sind der Bach und der G. F. Händel

In Wusterhausen raucht Vattern in sei‘m Tabak-Tempel

Brandenburg

Küstrin, oh ich hasse Küstrin

Oh ich hasse Küstrin

Da wollt‘ ich nie hin

Und Katte wollte das auch

In Brandenburg, in Brandenburg

Gabs wieder einmal einen Fahnenfluchtversuch

Was soll man auch machen mit 17, 18 in Brandenburg?

Es ist nicht alles ganz schlecht, es gibt Keith und Wilhelmine

Doch glaubt Vattern dass sich das mit Katte nicht gezieme

In Brandenburg

Wenn man Friedrich Wilhelm auf Treibjagd sieht, dann ist man im Naturschutzgebiet

Mark Brandenburg, Brandenburg

Ich fühl mich heut so ausgebrandenburgt

In England kann man so viel erleben

In Brandenburg tut’s nicht mal Kartoffeln geben

Brandenburg

Aus dem Stadtschloss würde ich am liebsten verschwinden

In Wusterhausen kann Vattern den Malkasten nicht finden

Brandenburg

Küstrin, oh ich hasse Küstrin

Oh ich hasse Küstrin

Da wollt‘ ich nie hin

Küstrin, oh ich hasse Küstrin

Oh ich hasse Küstrin

Da wollt‘ ich nie hin

Und Katte wollte das auch

Lassen Sie mich durch, Prinz-Sein ist absurd, ich muss weg aus Brandenburg

Nimm dir Essen mit, wir brechen aus aus Brandenburg

Wenn man nach England will muss man raus aus Brandenburg

[sherbertilluminated]

Thinking about her again (the way Knobloch introduces Mendelssohn in quasi-Homeric opposition to the absolutism of Frederick II not by highlighting his strength but his disability, turning his life into a physical contradiction to the established, bellicose narrative of 18th-century Prussia)

[britneyshakespeare]

His virtue was the brainstorm of a dreamer!

He died a fool. And may his fall pull down

his friend and all his century! We shall see

how they get on without me. For one evening,

the world belongs to me still. [...]

King Philip II of Spain, Don Carlos by Friedrich Schiller, Act V scene ii. Translation by Robert David MacDonald.