#GOD FORBID SHES SEEN MY ACCOUNT ALREADY AND HATED IT

[itadore-you]

day 2 of fearing bio wifey finding my blog (she's getting DANGEROUSLY close)

[linberlyy]

HBO recently released a new video with mini-interviews with actors on green/black team. And do you know what conclusion we made? Our greens actors are so afraid to express their opinions and views on the actions of the characters that they begin to laugh them off, albeit in short phrases, and explain what we already know.

Just take a look:

Tom: “Why should Team Green be on the throne and not Team Black? My name is on the lease for the castle." (We know, Tom, how much you get hated, and we understand that this is all you can say in principle at such events).

Fabien: “I think it's more a loyalty thing for Cole. I think it's his loyalty to Alicent. He wants what she wants. I myself… no comments.” (I was already shy at the end, you are our sunshine).

Ewan: “Aemond, he was bullied and wronged as a kid. They carved his eye out. He bounced back. He put a sapphire gemstone in his eye. And yeah, they're gonna get what's coming to them.” (Here Ewan revealed what we've already...sort of...seen? Why do we need a summary of the events of the first season? Even the last encrypted phrase sounded without the connotation we needed, so that, obviously, God forbid, we put him against mailwife Daemon, against whom he is nothing).

Olivia: "We have bigger dragons." (Poor Olivia, she was hated, it seems, more than anyone else. She looks thinner and tighter. I really hope that we are wrong. They didn’t even say the words in using their party, just so as not to cause a storm of negativity, how dare this ungrateful person go against Rhaenyra!)

While the actors of the opposite side can afford to make too eloquent and provocative statements, it is clear that most of the normies will support them and begin to squeal with delight:

Steve: “Team Black should be on the throne instead of Team Green. Team Green are usurpers. Team Black are the rightful heirs. They were named by the King. They're just better looking, generally.” (Even green actors cannot afford to call their characters “legitimate” and make any comments in favor of the opposite side, but here there is just basic cringe. Everything we like).

Eve: “They're the best. And the annoying people are pretty obviously the Greens. They're all just a bunch of knobs, and they need their heads being knocked together." (No comments, right? Everything is clear here).

Harry: “Team Black are decent people. We are more of a functioning family. We do things the right way." (The funny thing is that the whole Dance is the struggle of ONE family. The fact that EVEN the actors divide both groups into TWO different families already says something, and we do not take this into account, as it is about the same persons in the scripts).

Phoebe: “I think we love each other way more. I think we have a family base that is incredible. (Yes, let's also compare who loves whom more).

Bethany: “Team Black are the most fun. We get on the most. They all hate each other. „You have no idea the sacrifices that were made to put you on the throne“. (In the video, after the actress’s words, they accidentally removed Alicent and Aegon from the trailer, obviously, there was a visible emphasis on the fact that there is no love in the green family, and in general they watched without exception, but with their black maniacs, everything is cool with them).

Matt: “My uncle is a challenge I welcome. If he dares face me." No chance. I'm coming for his head. I'm gonna put it on a spike. Me and Rhaenyra, there's a bloodline to us, isn't there? We're the thoroughbreds." (Compare Ewan's lines with his. There is a big difference. Matt has the ability to say things like this to please the surviving fans, while Ewan does not, because all he gets in response is judgment, hate speech and swearing. And the phrase “We're the thoroughbreds” each time comes closer and closer to the name of H*tler with his “pure Aryan blood”, don’t blame me).

Emma: "We have madness on our side. And we have a powerful naval presence. Thanks to the Velaryon fleet." (Ok, do we need to remind you in what right and wrong ways the characters got it? Do the Velaryons themselves even know what the key is? However, Emma’s words carry disgust, like the words of her fellow actors, so she’s just a bun. Thanks for that too).

Does anyone have any other suggestions as to which side we present to get our ass kissed? The answer is obvious.

[thevividgreenmoss]

The day+ after taking psychedelics the lingering afterglow feels sort of the like opposite of a hangover not the opposite exactly but ykwim. You're drained but without the groggy smoker's flu aspect of a hangover ig…but ssri withdrawal, to me, is the opposite of that…anyways a communication failure between the pharmacy and doctor's office led to the former not refilling my fluvoxamine prescription last month because apparently somewhere in some system it said it had been too long between appointments for a refill to be automatically approved. Or something. I don't know exactly, but both parties involved in making this decision for me are saying what you have to do is give the psych clinic $50 for an eight minute zoom call with the nurse practitioner then she can send in refill approval to the pharmacy. So I do, and she does. And the pharmacy tells me they have received this request but are out of stock of the medication in question and will have it ready by Friday 2/23, by which point it will have been four days since l've taken these stupid fucking bullshit pills that don't do jack fucking shit, for me, in terms of treating the symptoms they allege to treat. but do, very successfully, induce a million various side effects, thus ultimately only serving to accelerate the suicidal freefall that my life had become over the past few years, before which all previous periods of suicidal free fall I have experienced, which cumulatively might account for the majority of my adult life, pale in comparison, and out of which I had only, somehow, through various maneuverings, sort of begun to pull mvself/be pulled from since maybe around September, despite the plagues and horrors still hanging over my head.

On Friday 2/23 they still do not have any luvox, apparently no other CVS in the vicinity does either, which is something that the pharmacist and I learn together, upon my inquiry, God forbid you proactively look into such a thing on behalf of your customer-patient. Or like fucking let them know that you were out of the shit to begin with and that this abrupt cessation would have taken place regardless of procedural issues you were initially hiding behind. Like this means that people who had already had their appointments in place and their refill requests sent through and approved in advance are in the same boat as I am. A lot of them probably have a lot less experience with drugs, prescribed or otherwise, going in and out of their system, which means a lot of them are probably going to have an even harder time handling this shit than I am, and just over the past four days I have seen my face become ashen my eyes hollower dizziness pulsating microseizure pinching my synapses staggering bracing myself against the kitchen counter thinking i hope I at least this doesn't trigger weight gain and hating myself for thinking this thought and for the majority of thoughts I have ever thought that are my own and not my own the maiority of which are abstracted distortions so grotesque they make this hateful fear of my own body seem rational and kind and just. In comparison.

Your prescription will be ready Wednesday 2/29 and when that day arrives it will still not be ready but every couple of days you will receive automated updates informing you that an order is being placed for your prescription until Thursday 3/16 when your prescription will be ready for pickup. Now the ssris are for the most part out of my system the withdrawal period is I think over and I'm afraid of what will happen if a) I elect not to begin taking these pills again since the post-withdrawal period where my body reacclimates to life without ss/nris has not been kind to me historically, or b) I start taking the shit again. Freedom of choice. For now the pills are still at CVS waiting to be surrendered upon receipt of payment and proof of insurance. Even if all this did not take place the fear of losing my apartment and along with and above that the fear of losing my cats chokes me. But I know whatever happens they'll have the most darling adventures. My cousin said he could take them in for me if I have to move back in with my family (my dad's allergies/COPD won't allow for them to stay with us), and I know he and my aunt and uncle will care for them. And there are people dying and dying and I'm afraid of being rendered even more useless than I already am as it stands I am nothing but I have been blessed with the capacity to care for people within my small orbit in my broken way within the severe limits of my imagination and capability and I'm afraid of losing even that.

You guys I wish you could see outside the sliding door the rain and Charlie in front of me alternatingly playing with her little lamby and watching the rainfall and Emily lying down beside me. I'm afraid of the look in my eyes in the picture I took of the three of us the week I got them back in September 2022 a few months after finally moving out on my own into this apartment I'm now sitting in, in the picture the two of them perched on my shoulder and me smiling shell-shocked. But whatever happens they will be themselves and they'll be together. They love each other so much you guys I swear it's the most precious thing and nothing that happens to me matters more than that but still I can't stop crying

[sangrewrites]

my own work tea

okie so i'm a barista in like amazon hq right??? and i've been with this company since i was 23 gag so i've seen everything you could think of. anyways since reopening from covid they've been running like this free coffee bullshit and it was only supposed to be like a 3 month program the lies!

well here we are nearly 3 fucking years later and it's still free!!!! last year they were going to end it but some cry baby amazonians literally made a petition and so they kept the program. well back to office happened and it was supposed to end again AND THEY FUCKING LIED AGAIN they decided to keep free coffee bc god forbid these rich tech fucks pay for anything at this point.

we're already busy right with the people in the building but adding to that with all the people they're making come into the office it was a recipe for disaster which is what happened lmao these fucking higher ups make decisions and then they're all pikachu faced when it doesn't play out how they expected.

don't even get me started on this chick sam and her bestie kristen who are both rat snakes and i hate them. when they first started we didn't have a good first impression of each other and sadly that's stayed even years later. i'm completely over coffee right and wanted to go back to my old job as market supervisor. which an opportunity came up for me to interview for it again which i did. it was so pointless bc kristen still has this fucking grudge against me for something i did when she first came into the company. so sam was like "we'll talk again in a few weeks" well guess what we have yet to talk and my poor friend kass is literally doing two supervisor positions while getting paid for just one.

lets move on to the people i work with. you have sadie who is my ride or die but also i've began to notice things about her as a supervisor that i don't like. then you have stevie who is literally the best but she can also have her annoying moments. then there is kelly who is a fucking doorknob a lot of the time and tyler who is somehow the oldest of 6 but acts like a literal child. now sadie and tyler are like two peas in a pod which isn't a good thing. they feed off of each other and when together can be annoying af. like so much so that kass even came to me and was like "whats going on with you and sadie???" bc there was def tension for a while with how those two acted.

i love sadie but as a supervisor there is a reason our bosses question if she can run a shop. she makes excuses for tyler instead of holding him accountable for doing a shit job closing. we had a new person start last week and literally on her 3rd day he was rude to her for no reason. like obvi she's not gonna know what fucking pastery is what. so when she heard about it the next day instead of holding him accountable she made excuses for him. he's a closer and i used to be a closer, and she allows him to get away with not doing shit or doing a half assed job. but when i was closer that shit wouldn't fly, and again she makes excuses about how it was a different time.

i literally feel nothing about tyler, like i tolerate him but outside of work he is not someone i would ever interact with.

the thing about sadie also she has said some outta pocket shit to me that i don't even think she realizes is outta pocket. sometimes i'm quiet, it doesn't mean i'm in a bad mood. i just don't feel like talking and one time she was like 'gosh she has an attitude today" and i snapped back like "i don't but i can get one real quick." then i was gonna call out to finish packing and clean up my apartment before moving but she literally guilted me into coming. and made some remark like "it's not my fault you're not done packing" i'm lowkey reaching the point that outside of work i won't be speaking with her either if i were to leave.

BIG SIGH. i love working with a few people and like all of my regulars who come get coffee. but like at some point that isn't a valid excuse to stay somewhere that stresses me tf out and where i am not happy. sure i make good money but at what expense??? i would rather make less and be happy going into work.

[antiloreolympus]

Bunch of (Older) Asks [P.2]

1. This episode of LO was cartoonish - no pun intended. Minthe gave an Evil Character speech fr. Your target demographic cannot be over 18 if you are That Much on the nose.

2. I think one of the reasons that LO fans deny it’s flaws is because RS does not plan the episodes, just writes them as she goes. And i don’t remember clearly but i think there were some asks saying that RS steals from HxP fanfics and theories (which makes sense since she likes to control and see everything) and seeing how there are so many theory accounts of LO she probably views them all and steals the theory ideas, therefore giving LO fans a sense of righteousness. What is simply RS art laziness or her just simply not caring about the artwork anymore is taken by fans as a theory for what might happen, leaving RS with plenty of ideas and her fans happy that they saw “hidden clues”. An example would be that of the episode where Persephone is chasing Minthe and then turns her into a plant, the shape of the cape looks like the eyes that Persephone feels around her (although i believe that it’s just simply a coincidence) and the fact that her hair does not grow like crazy. We know that Persephones hair grows when she’s mad, sad etc etc and is even shown on the episode when she turns big and when she grown vines and starts hibernating because she’s on TV as a criminal (which she is). Now because RS forgot to draw Persephones hair longer when she was attacking Minthe, fans are speculating that Persephone now has her powers on control and is not shadowed over by “the feeling” anymore. While the next episode shows that Persephone can’t actually turn Minthe back into a nymph and saying that she can’t really control her powers. RS will probably find a way to incorporate that theory in the comic but who knows when

3. One thing that I hate in lore olympus is the treatment of minthe. I understand why people don't like her, but she's seen by all the characters as one dimensionally evil when she's not really commited a cardinal sin in my eyes? Like she's very obviously lower class, struggling with money, and she figures that seducing a musty rich slave owner is her best way to an easy life. damn bitch i'd do the same, she's also seen to be easily led by thetis, and damn if my boyfriend who i was already feeling insecure around (who's family called me the equivalent of trailer trash and he didnt stick up for me) told me he was dumping me for a NINETEEN year old??? I'd freak out too! She's not perfect, and she's said some awful things, but she's honestly pretty rational. She's also treated pretty awfully by the other gods on account of her being a nymph, and being shafted by persephone who is a literal heiress? She knows she needs hades so she doesn't die, and that persephone doesn't. I don't know, i understand why people don't like her and she's said some unforgivable things, but her actions? They make sense, and she's annoyingly portrayed as irredemable and evil.

4. i get it, minthe is obviously an antagonist, but i get no satisfaction in her death. she was a victim of hades' actions + him using his power over her to where him turning his attention to the next pretty thing he saw meant shed be homeless / in poverty. why would i root for a rich girl's split personality (so it CAN'T be her actually doing it! god forbid!) murdering a powerless nymph for actually standing up to a king and have it be "no you MUST respect the 1% or else ill kill you!" its gross!

5. LORE OLYMPUS WANTS WHAT HADESTOWN HAS

6. The confrontation between Minthe was drawn like a joke/meme when it was a pretty serious moment puts me off so much and the quality of the art was so stiff and underwhelming too. If this were made with the old art it wouldve looked alot better and expressive i think

7. LO would have flopped a long time ago if it didn't use greek mythology names as a crutch; the art style would have only carried a season minimum before people would start realizing how badly written it is...

8. ngl i follow a fucking homestuck RP blog with better greek mythology takes than LO

9. The biggest issue that makes me despise Lore Olympus is that pretty much every character falls into one of two groups: 1 Persephone cheer squad who can do no wrong and 2. Evil Meanies who don't like Persephone the cute uwu bean how dare you not love her, like girl....

10. Every comic or fanfic i’ve seen of HxP depicts Hades as this insecure, shy guy who doesn’t really know how to talk to women and like? Wtf.. how is one of the most powerful gods, the ruler of the underworld insecure?? I get that people love the whole -uwu shy powerful guy talks to main love interest and is a softie - but for what Hades is it doesn’t make any sense. And since so many people want to make gods relatable to mortals (which is dumb and so unachievable) a much better portrayal of Hades would be one of the quiet and fair guy. A confident god who knows what he’s doing and is aware of the power he has. An insecure god means that he’ll exploit everyone in his kingdom and our -soft boi- can’t do that. Hades is aware of his powers and the role he has, and has simply not found a goddess to his liking to be queen of the underworld. LO making Hades into this abused guy who has low self esteem is done in bad taste. I understand that people want to read and see things that seem familiar or that include them and whatnot, however gods are gods. They are not mortals. They don’t go by the same rules as us and do not process things the same as us.

[herohotline]

omg can you please do a hawks x pro hero! reader where they get partnered up for something and she's just cold and finds him extremely annoying,, one day they're just patrolling or something and he makes a joke and she SLIGHTLY smiles and hawks sees this and his heart just goes 📈📈📈,, maybe it ends with her patting his wings "oh? theyre soft" and hawks just nosebleeds lmao,, please and thank you 💞

A/N: weak for him... also wanted to write for someone other than aizawa lmao my inbox is full of him. I also made the reader tall in this fic because I thought it fit, so the reader is about 6′0 in height. small readers, just pretend ur tall, u already do it anyway. 

Also, tbh, this prompt kind of strayed. I still hope you like it! ---

It’s The Chicken Wings For Me (Hawks x GN!Reader)

---

Keigo Takami- otherwise known as Hawks to the general public and basically everyone else he knew. The man didn’t give his name out to just anybody besides a select few- the only reason you knew his name is because you frequently worked with the guy since you were both hired by the Public Safety Commission. 

Just because you happened to know his name and work with him doesn’t mean you like him, though. 

He was cocky, purposefully arrogant (because you knew how smart he actually was), and way too comfortable, in your opinion. Each time the Commission teamed you up with him, you had a habit of making a stink. You’d think that the Commission would be annoyed by your complaints and make them stop by just Not Pairing You Together like you wanted, but no. The two of you, unfortunately, make a good team, despite your lack of chemistry. 

So you just have to put up with him and his aggravating attitude. 

---

Keigo knows that you hate him. 

Hate- that’s a strong word. You don’t really hate him, you just hate putting up with him. To be fair, Keigo doesn’t make it very easy for you. He acts like a little brat, honestly- he pokes and prods you that much more because he knows you don’t like it. He thrives off your clipped comments and agitated glares. 

He doesn’t really know why he likes to bother you. It’s like the kid who pulls on the pigtails of the girl he likes- something like that. 

Today, the two of you are simply out for patrols together. He usually takes off during patrols, cruising in the air to have a broader view of the streets below- but because he’s paired with you, he keeps his feet on the ground, walking by your side as he chats your ear off. 

The two of you almost look goofy together. You’re several inches taller than he is, he has to look up at you to talk to you properly- but with the way you are, you barely even give him the time of day as you refuse to look down at him. The fact you can ignore him so easily because he falls out of your line of vision really makes Keigo work that much harder to earn your attention and frustration.

“But- ah- I’ve really told you a lot about me, haven’t I?” Keigo says suddenly, and he grins up at you as he puts his hands in his pockets. “You should tell me more about you!” 

You scoff and purse your lips, finally offering him a glance as you look down at him. Always so cocky... “I disagree,” you tell him simply. “Sure, you talk a lot, but you don’t even tell me anything about yourself when you do. It’s just a bunch of stories that you happened to be a part of or witnessed, none of it says a thing about you. So, thanks for the invitation, but I’ll pass.” You look back to the road in front of you. “Besides, you should be keeping an eye on our work more than talking.”

His face falls as he sighs, putting his hands in his pockets. “You’re such a downer, ___, and you always see right through me, too!” He throws his head back as he stares up at the sky, his wings twitching just barely. He could fly off, do his job like you said, but... Keigo simply doesn’t want to. “So cold... cold as ice.” 

“Mhmm,” 

“Even colder than Endeavor’s kid! You know, the half and half one.” Keigo holds his chin as he thinks. “So I guess he’s not actually that cold.” 

“Doesn’t one of his other kids have an ice quirk? And his wife?” 

“Oh, you’re right. I forgot.” 

You snort in amusement. “You’re a big fan of his but forgot about his other kids, huh?” 

“I was distracted!”

“By what?”

“You! And your coldness!” 

You actually laugh then, shaking your head and smiling, god forbid. Has Keigo ever seen you smile before? He watches you with wide eyes, his wings once again twitching as he takes you in. “Right,” you roll your eyes at him, your amused smile doing things to him that you don’t even notice, “my coldness. You ever take a guess on why I’m like that around you?”

Keigo grins. “Because I’m insufferable.” 

“Exactly. You should do something about that- hmm?” You’re cut off by something brushing your arm. You had rolled up the sleeves of your suit earlier because of the heat, and when you look down, you see Keigo’s feathers lightly brushing your bare skin. Keigo follows your line of vision and when he realizes, his wing quickly folds back. 

“Oops! My bad.” He laughs casually. You stroke the area where his wing had touched you and hum, lips pursing together. 

“You keep doing that, you know,” you tell him as you look at his wings. “They keep spreading out like that because you aren’t stretching them. Go fly off and tell me if you find anything.” 

“Giving me orders?” He quirks his brow at you. 

“Yes.”

“...” His shoulders sink and he sighs again. “Fine! Fine,” his tone is defeated as he takes a few quick steps away from you, and then his wings spread out as he gives you a cocky smile. “Impressed?” 

“I think it stops looking cool once you get to know the person behind the wings. And after you’ve seen it hundreds of times,” you deadpan. 

“But you admit that it was cool at least once.”

“Sure, fine. Go ahead and try that hard to fish for my compliments.”

“I will, thank you!” Keigo laughs and gives you a salute, and then he takes off into the air. “Don’t miss me too much!”

Your head lifts to watch him, “believe me, I won’t,” you assure him. Keigo just laughs again, and within a second, he’s suddenly gone, only leaving a burst of wind that sends chills down your naked arms behind him. You scoff. 

He totally did that on purpose.

---

By the time your patrol shift is over, you’re officially bored out of your mind. It’s a good thing because it means that no villains had attacked the area and everything was peaceful and safe. You had helped an old lady with her bags and then a few other pedestrians with directions around the city, but other than that, you didn’t really do much besides walk around a lot. You at least treasured the time you had to yourself when Keigo had finally taken off to patrol the city from above. 

You really don’t know why he insists on bugging you. 

Eventually, he comes back when he was bored enough, so the two of you ended your shift together. He asked you where you were headed now that you were clocked off, and you kindly told him to mind his own business. 

“I don’t think that concerns you, chicken boy,” is a very kind way to tell someone to bug off. You could have been worse. 

“Chicken boy, that’s a new one,” he replied, and for once, he actually looked fed up with you. “What about me is like a chicken, anyway? Be honest.” 

You had almost laughed at the opportunity. Instead, you reach out and put a hand on his feathers, lightly petting and putting one between your fingers as you hum. “I don’t know,” you tease, “kinda looks like a chicken to me.” 

Keigo’s nose scrunches in a way you had never seen before as he pulls his wings away from you. “Chickens are white,” he told you. 

“True enough,” you put your hand back at your side. “Chickens can’t fly, either... Their wings aren’t as soft as yours. So with all of that taken into account, it really doesn’t make sense that whenever I look at you, I still just see a scraggly old chicken. Wonder why that is.” 

You had really just been teasing him, trying to get on his nerves like he had so frequently got on yours. His face turned pink, and you thought- yes, finally. I’ve finally done it. 

But then he just smiled, wide, ear to ear. “Just admit it and say you think I’m cute.”

Of course. 

Your face falls as you just stare at him blankly, and his shit-eating grin never leaves. “Where on Earth did you get that from what I said.” 

“Chickens are cute! You don’t think so? I think you do.” 

The bickering never ended, and you didn’t even notice that he continued to follow you until you arrived at the food cart you were planning to eat at. And then the two of you continued to bicker and peck at each other, just like a couple of hens, really- as you ate dinner together. It was truly amazing how stubborn Keigo was to bother you- it almost looked like you were friends to passerby's. But you were definitely not friends, nowhere close. 

He was just a piece of gum on your shoe. Really. 

[autumn-foxfire]

Already villain stans are upset with ochako because she told toga 'hey u can live free if u want but if it hurts people there will consequences' instead of coddling her like a fricking baby. Like God forbid a killer face consequences. Yet this same people cry constantly about Hawks not being punished for killing Twice. Apparently only heroes should face any punishments in their eyes 😑

I’m not surprised but damn is it annoying to see.

I also hate this insistence that Ochako should have to “understand” where Toga is coming from even though Ochako is Toga’s fucking victim. Toga was apart of a group that has tried to kill Ochako and her friends multiple times, many who have almost died at their hands. Ochako owes Toga absolutely nothing.

Ochako isn’t responsible for how Toga turned out how she has. In fact, it’s not really that clear why she’s the way she is because Horikoshi did a pretty bad job linking her sad backstory to the sorry affair that is the failure in hero society. But the point still stands, Ochako should not have to be Toga’s fucking therapist, not when all she’s trying to do is save the lives Toga is trying to kill.

My god, I have not seen so much victim blaming in a fandom before then I have for BNHA.

As you said, this fandom can’t handle their precious favourites being held accountable for their horrible actions. It’s amusing, if they wanted an piece of work with characters with tragic backstories and questionable morals, there are plenty out there, I don’t know why they keep trying to force BNHA into that mold when the manga has set out clearly that villains who commit wrongs get held accountable by the law.

And the hypocrisy is just beyond amusing. Heroes have to pay for their “crimes” but the villains? No! Apparently they all have justifiable reasons as to why they want to commit genocide!!

...This fandom is beyond tiring.

[in-class-daydreams]

Cherry Blossom | Daichi Sawamura x Reader Oneshot

- Pairing: Daichi Sawamura x Reader One Shot 

Word Count: ~ 4600

Genres: Fluff, slight angst, unrequited feelings

CW: Self-deprecating inner thoughts, implied anxiety

Summary: (Y/N), a third year attending Karasuno High School, spirals into confusion as she begins to develop feelings for a certain childhood friend. 

2: 26

‘Are you kidding me?’

The day was already going by extremely slow for (Y/N), and she definitely was not having a good one either. She slept past her alarm until about 20 minutes before class started. In a rush, she attempted to make toast, which she somehow managed to burn, which meant on her sprint to school she had to eat some crusty, burnt ass toast and try not to choke on it. Yum! On top of that, all her lectures throughout the day have been painstakingly slow, and that didn’t improve her mood one bit.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a hand slip a small piece of paper onto her desk.

“What’re you doing after class today?”

Judging from the handwriting, (Y/N) knew it was from Yui-chan, who, just like (Y/N), could not care less about the titration process.

Discreetly, she wrote and responded back to her note, “Photoshoot. Houka-san said it’ll be on campus today,” and quickly passed it back to her.

After multiple exchanges, the teacher was finally cut off by the bell. At last, they could escape this hellhole known as school. As she packed up her supplies into the bookbag, she felt a hand on top of her head, ruffling her hair. Immediately, she knew who it was.

“Ah! Daichi! Stop it! I have a photoshoot soon, you’ll mess up my hair!”

“What do you mean? It still looks the same,” the boy smiled back. (Y/N) could only look back at him back with the most deadpan expression. Well, she was actually looking up at him quite a bit. She was by no means short, but in comparison to the tall volleyball player, she was definitely on the shorter side.

“Where were you this morning? I waited for you at the usual spot, but you weren’t there.” Daichi asked.

“Overslept. It was a nightmare honestly.” (Y/N) responded while attempting to clear her memory of the chaotic mess that she was that morning.

“Oh? The flawless and perfect (Y/N)-senpai had a stumble getting ready?” Daichi grinned teasingly, with obvious sarcasm dripping from his voice.

“Shut up, I’m human too,” she snapped back. “Don’t you have practice soon? You don’t want to be late now, do you, Captain?”

“Suppose not,” he said before facing the other girl standing off to the side, “Ah Michimiya-san, I was going to talk to you about the gym schedule for next week.”

Yui had an obvious flush on her face, and was struggling to get the right words out, let alone look him in the eyes. (Y/N) mercifully suggested that the three of them walk to practice together, so they won’t be late.

‘Hopefully, that’ll give her more time to collect herself and talk to him.”

With all her stuff collected, she went and changed into the bathroom to get ready for the photoshoot. After brushing and styling her hair that Daichi had ruined, she quickly walked out to the cherry blossom trees by the gym to meet up with her photographer.

“My apologies, Houka-san, I got caught up in something.”

“It’s alright (Y/N)-san. Please don’t be late next time. I’m on a strict schedule after all,” she sighed irritatingly, “Now, shall we get started?”

“Ah yes, of course. It won’t happen again,” she sheepishly apologized.

After getting herself together, (Y/N) felt immense ease. Being near the cherry blossoms had always comforted her. Maybe it had something to do with the aesthetic of it, but a lot of it had to do with the lasting memories that came along with it.

~~

Thirteen Years Ago : Age 6

(Y/N) woke up in an unfamiliar room. She sat herself upright, and took a look around the room. Bandages everywhere, a single stool, and a desk with a file folder.

‘Right, I fell asleep in the nurse’s office’

Her mom, being a teacher, told (Y/N) to go take a nap in the nurse’s office while she finished things inside the classroom. She would eventually go wake her up when she was done, or if the young girl woke up early, she could go to her classroom instead.

After straightening herself up, she opened the door and walked down the unfamiliar hallway. The only thing she remembered was that her mother had told the young child her classroom was in a different building. Naturally, she walked outside the building only to realize she didn’t specify which building it was in.

‘Ah shoot.’

Wandering around the large campus only drained the poor girl, and (Y/N) was suddenly overwhelmed with panic that accompanied her with her failure to find her mother’s classroom.

Tears couldn’t help but form in the corners of her eyes, threatening to fall any second now. She ran around the corner, now tears rolling down her face.

With her eyes facing the floor, half closed, and half visible from her hands wiping away her tears, she ran into a wall...or what she thought was a wall.

She looked up to find a boy, with jet black hair who looked to be about her age, looking down at her with a worried expression.

“Hey, you okay? What happened?” he asked.

The tears stopped flowing down her face, and she stood up to reach eye-level to the boy.

“N-no, I don’t know where my mom’s classroom is and I’m lost”

“Here I can help you find it!” The boy replied cheerfully, “I’m Daichi Sawamura by the way. What’s your name?”

“(Y/N) (L/N)”

“(L/N)-chan, we can go look for her classroom together! My dad works as a teacher here too, so I know my way around here pretty good”

Before she could respond, Daichi grabbed her hand and led her away from the cherry tree they were standing under moments ago. Something about him told her that she could trust him without any concern, and she was right.

(Y/N) learned a lot about him while he was leading her. She found out his favorite colour is orange, came to this school everyday after school to wait for his dad to finish work, and that he loved volleyball. After a few minutes, they entered a building filled with different classrooms, and managed to find the right classroom.

“Ah, thank you for the help, Daichi-kun”

“No problem. Say, wanna meet by that cherry tree tomorrow too?”

Little did she know that it would end up being a daily routine to meet there.

~~

The photoshoot ended smoothly, and that edition of the magazine she was shooting for was scheduled to be released sometime within the next month. Nowadays, it wasn’t uncommon to see her pictures on the front cover of popular magazines displayed at stores. Since the beginning of this year, her popularity as a model had skyrocketed beyond anybody’s expectations for someone who rarely posted on her social media. Well, that changed quite a bit after her career took off.

Normally, she would wait for Daichi to be done with practice so they could walk home together, but seeing that she would have to wait an extra 45 minutes or so, she started walking to the gym. Cracking the door open slightly, and seeing the coast was clear, she walked towards the back until a round object was flying towards her at an alarming rate.

Bam! A volleyball slammed into the wall beside her.

‘Phew, barely missed me.’ She looked up after receiving a mild shock, and everyone on the court had their eyes on the mysterious girl who just walked in.

‘Well, so much for sneaking in,’ she mentally slapped herself.

“NOYA-SAN! LOOK! (Y/N)-SENPAI’S HERE!”

“WHAT?!? (Y/N)-SENPAIIIIIIII!”

The two very energetic boys flung themselves at her, and before she could move out of the way, two strong arms held them back mid-jump.

“Oi, knock it off you two,” Daichi scolded. “(Y/N), I thought you said you had a photoshoot. Why are you here?”

“It went really well, so I ended early, and I figured I’d wait for you in here,”

“You could’ve just gone home--”

“Daichi, I’m not gonna break tradition because I ended early--”

As their bickering continued, the first years, particularly the one with some orange hair asked nobody in particular, “Who’s that pretty senpai punching Daichi-san?”

“That’s (Y/N)-chan. She and Daichi have been childhood friends.” A pure angel, by the name of Sugawara, was happy to satisfy his kohai’s curiosity, before mumbling, “though he should really do something about being friends,”

After facing a barrage of punches from (Y/N), Daichi finally got back to practice while she sat on the benches scrolling through her feed and managing her account. Her recent post was filled with support from her fans anticipating her next magazine release, as well as some hate comments, particularly about her age and looks. But honestly, they were irrelevant wimps that had to bully people from behind a keyboard to feel good about themselves, so it never really bothered her too much.

Before she knew it, Daichi’s practice had ended, and she didn’t even notice him get changed and coming back to pick her up. It wasn’t super dark, but having Daichi with her definitely helped her feel reassured, though she could easily fight off a couple people if needed. Regardless, the dim lights added to the comfortable silence as they continued to walk to their houses.

(Y/N) was the first to break the silence, “Hey Daichi,”

He hummed a quiet, “Hmm?” as he continued to look forward.

“Did things go well with Yui-chan earlier? You didn’t scare her off or something did you?” she joked light-heartedly.

“What? I didn’t think I scared her off? Maybe I did on accident?” he began to think about all his interactions with her because God forbid if it was his fault that’s causing tension between them. “You’re probably right though. I don’t think she likes me all that much, or at least she’s uncomfortable around me. I’ve talked to her on multiple occasions because of volleyball, but every time I get the same vibe from her...maybe I did something to offend her… Why? Did she say something about it?”

‘I guess the saying is true. Men are oblivious as fuck.’

“Oh no, I haven’t seen her after she left with you. I was just wondering because you know--”

“Because..?” Daichi stopped for a second to face her.

(Y/N) had to think about it for a second. She remembered Yui-chan’s request from a couple days ago that she couldn’t decline.

~~

“(Y/N), please! You know him really well! I just get flustered really easily around him, but he’s just so sweet! I really like him, can you please help me get noticed by him?” Yui pleaded. Her eyes were filled with genuinity, and after seeing that, there was no way she could say no to her.

~~

“--because I actually think it might be the opposite of what you think.” (Y/N) chose her words carefully, “if anything, I think she’s getting flustered because she really admires you, you know?”

“Really? You think so?”

“Mmhmm,” she hummed. ‘And she’s not the only one,’

“Ah well, I mean, I know that feeling. I have for a while actually,” he stated awkwardly. Daichi was not one to express his feelings, so this came across as a big shock to (Y/N), for this was the first time he had ever said anything along the lines of romance.

This time, she was the one to stop suddenly, and before she could process her thoughts, Daichi interrupted her to let her know they’ve reached her house. After quickly saying goodbye, (Y/N) walked up before heading to bed with an uneasy feeling in her stomach.

~~

The next day was filled with confusion in (Y/N)’s mind and heart. Her mind was confused because she did not understand one bit as to what the teacher was talking about, but her heart was left aching the entire day. After what Daichi said last night, she couldn’t bring herself to see him. If anything, it caused her to actively avoid him throughout the day. In the years that she’s known him, he’s never brought up his romantic feelings towards someone.

‘Do I like Daichi?’ she asked herself. She slapped both hands to her cheeks, ‘That’s not possible! I’ve known him for a long time, and he’s my best friend! It’s not like that! ...right?’

Yet, simultaneously, the idea of him being with another girl left her feeling queasy. As much as she loved Yui-chan and wanted the best for her, the idea of Daichi being hers gave her an ugly feeling inside that she quite disliked.

‘Will Daichi leave me then? I know he’s not the type to do that, but what if I’m wrong? If it’s Yui-chan that he likes, will she need me afterwards? What if they decide they only need each other, and I go back to being unapproachable?’

She knew that these negative thoughts weren’t true. (Y/N) knew better than to doubt her friends. If anything, she should be grateful that they’re by her side. After all, they don’t treat her like she’s on a pedestal. She was aware that being somewhat “famous” gave people a different perception towards her, but Daichi and Yui-chan still treated her as if she’s still a high school student, not a magazine model, and for that she was greatly appreciative towards them. But with that preciousness comes with the greater fear of loss. Before she could go off on her own tangent, she was interrupted by Yui-chan.

“-N),(Y/N). Class is over. Are you okay? You looked like you were spacing out for a bit?” Yui asked, concerningly, after the girl failed to respond to the bell ringing, and to her continuous (and aggressive) waving. The poor girl looked like she was about to break down from panicking seeing that her attempts to get her friend’s attention were failing.

“O-oh, I guess I’m just a little out of it today.” A familiar sense of fatigue and guilt pained her after seeing her best friend falling apart right in front of her eyes.

‘Clearly, there’s no need to explain the whole truth, right? If I do Yui is going to freak herself out’

“Did something happen between you and Sawamura-kun?” Yui asked innocently.

The sound of his name made her hesitate and shift in her seat. Yui, aware of how she acts when something bothers her, knew that it had to have been just that. Giving her time, Yui waited before (Y/N) responded.

“We were walking home yesterday, and we talked about you,” she started carefully, and glancing over to her friend, it was no surprise to see her eyes filled with anticipation, ready to hear what she would say next. “I didn’t say explicitly that you liked him, but rather you admire him, and with your personality, it could be a little harder for you to be open right away. It came up because he thought you didn’t like him, so I just assured him that wasn’t the case. Then he said something that I’ve never really heard him talk about. He said that he also had that feeling towards someone.”

She looked over once again, Yui, clearly at this point looked like she was going to explode. “I’m not sure who he's referring to, but I figured it’d be you. So, I’ve just been thinking about how to go about with what you’ve asked of me. But, I think it’s safe to say, you should talk to him more. To me it seems like the feeling is mutual between you two.”

She could’ve sworn she could’ve won an Oscar from that performance. To her, she showed no worries of avoiding the truth externally, quite contrary to the painful stabbing inside her chest with every word she breathed. What she said wasn’t completely untrue, but she hated how she couldn’t be open with how she felt. She trusted Yui with all her heart, but Yui’s happiness was more important in this case. Afterall, she didn’t want to destroy her relationship with Yui, and just decided to keep it to herself.

Contrary to how (Y/N) was feeling, her friend was clearly ecstatic. Her face just lit up with joy before jumping out of her seat to hug her friend.

“Thank you so much (Y/N)! You don’t know how much this means to me!” Yui beamed. All she could do was hug back in response.

After Yui left for practice, (Y/N) decided her heart had too much to handle for one day. For the first time since Kindergarten, she broke away from the “ritual,” and walked home alone without Daichi. Quite honestly, it was a weird sensation not having the boy next to her.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the only day that this had occurred. Over the next couple days, she actively avoided Daichi, and continued to walk home without him.

After a few days, (Y/N) slipped on her outdoor shoes and started to head towards the school gates, once again, without the absence of Daichi. Even though days have passed, she still couldn’t get used to the feeling without him. All of a sudden, a large hand grabbed her wrist, stopping her from walking further. Right as she turned around, she saw the one person she didn’t want to see.

“D-daichi!”

‘Great’

He was clearly out of breath as if he had sprinted over to her. ‘Did he run over to me before I could leave?’

“(Y/N). I wanted to talk to you before you left,” he said firmly. The days without talking to him, hearing his voice was so soothing on her mind that momentarily she forgot why she was avoiding him in the first place. Snapping out of her trance, she tried to pull away from his arm to stop them from walking further, but Daichi kept a firm grip on her. She didn’t realize she was back at their usual meeting spot, underneath the cherry blossom tree.

“Daichi, let go of me. I have to leave, and you have practice,” she tried to reason.

“I know you don’t have anything after school today, and practice can wait. This is more important,” he replied, not once breaking eye contact. He was serious about this.

There was a quick pause before he started again, “(Y/N), what’s going on?”

Thump.

“N-nothing” she said weakly, looking away from him. She could feel his gaze on her, and he still never looked away.

“(Y/N), I’m just worried about you. Is everything okay? I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve been avoiding me lately. Did I do something wrong to upset you?” he asked cautiously.

“I wasn’t avoiding you. I’ve been busy recently, and I wanted you to have time to sort out that feeling of admiration you have towards that person. It seemed like I was going to be holding you back, and I only just realized it after you said it that day.” Her voice was wavering, and she tried her best to keep her feelings in check. It certainly didn’t help that her heartbeat could be heard from miles away.

Thump. Thump.

“This was the first time you’ve ever said anything remotely related to romance, and I know you don’t talk about your feelings a lot. So I thought I would just be getting in your way. I mean, if there was a guy I liked, and I saw a girl around them constantly I would be pretty discouraged about my chances. And--”

Before she could even finish her rambling, she saw him walking closer towards her. She kept backing away slowly, only to be stopped by the cherry blossom tree behind her. Before she knew it, there was a warm,gentle feeling on her lips.

She froze.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Before she could process what was happening, he pulled away, and suddenly the distance between them grew bigger again. (Y/N) stood there looking like a dumbfounded idiot, unsure what to do, but mostly in shock trying to figure out what just happened.

“D-daichi...you, uh, uhm--” she sputtered.

“The girl that I feel admiration for wasn’t Michimiya-san. It’s you. It’s always been you, (Y/N). These last couple days without you near me, or by my side, it’s been so painful. I’ve missed you. You know you mean a lot to me, right. More than I could even tell you.”

“Daichi, I-” she composed herself. She finally looked him in the eyes, and noticed his face was clearly flushed. Oddly enough, that reassured her quite a bit in the moment.

“I don’t need an answer now, (Y/N). But, I just really needed you to know, and whatever you decide, I respect your decision. For all I know, things might change between us, but just know that whatever happens, I’ll still be there for you, always.”

Moments after, silence filled the air, and Daichi took that as his cue to excuse himself, and save himself from making the situation even worse. He shuffled his feet a little bit and glanced up at the girl before he headed towards the gym, only to stop momentarily to look back at her before ultimately deciding to leave her to her thoughts.

‘Oh my god. Daichi and I--!’

That kiss just confirmed that yes, she felt the same as Daichi, and she’s always liked him. That provided some relief for her knowing that his feelings weren’t towards Yui--

‘Oh no--Yui-chan… What am I going to tell her? Should I tell her? Yes, I should, she deserves to know.’

Shortly after, she decided the sooner she tells Yui, the better it will be for everybody.

To: Yui-chan [3:46 pm]: Yui-chan, after practice can we talk? Meet up at StarDollar at 6?

From: Yui-chan [3:47 pm]: Yup, see you then!

~~

6:00 pm

(Y/N) sat nervously at the cafe table waiting for Yui to show up. She got a latte to try and calm herself a little bit before telling her the truth. Seconds later, Yui walked into the shop scanning the room before her eyes landed on her friend, and walked over to her.

“Yui-chan,” (Y/N) started, “I’m sorry for calling you out here last minute, especially right after practice too.”

“Oh no it’s okay. I thought it might’ve been a little serious judging from your tone and all. Is everything okay?” Yui asked, hesitantly.

“Yeah. No. Not really.”

Yui, let her friend collect her thoughts before (Y/N) began to speak again.

“Yui, you have to know how much you mean to me. And I want to apologize for being a terrible friend, and letting this happen,” tears were starting to form in (Y/N)’s eyes. “Today, Daichi confessed to me.”

Silence.

At this point, the tears in her eyes were falling. She couldn’t bring herself to look at her friend’s eyes. She didn’t want to see the face of hurt and betrayal in her precious friend’s eyes. That was, until she left a pair of warm hands wrap around hers.

“(Y/N), you’re not a terrible friend. If you really were, I don’t think you would’ve told me this. In fact, I’m really grateful you trust me enough to tell me this,” she said with a smile on her face.

(Y/N) couldn’t tell exactly what her friend was feeling. She wasn’t mad? Was she beyond pissed, and this was all she could say out of courtesy?

“(Y/N), thank you for telling me this.”

“You’re not pissed?”

“Pissed? No. A little heartbroken? Yes. But I already knew somewhere deep down that the person he admired wasn’t me. I’ve known it was you all along. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and how his face brightens whenever he’s with you. I’ve also seen it with you. If anything, I’ve been the terrible friend. I knew that you two liked each other in some way, but I was being selfish, and I asked you a request that I never should’ve.”

‘I guess then not to make these worse, I might have to reject Daichi. Then that means everything goes back to the way it used to be, right?’

“(Y/N), I know you’re thinking of rejecting Daichi-”

‘Damn it, how did she read my mind?’

“Don’t. I know I shouldn’t tell you what to do, but it seems to me like you two like each other mutually. There’s nothing wrong with accepting a confession from someone you like.”

“But Yui--”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine,” she gave a small reinforced smile to try and prove some assurance for her emotional friend.

“Yui...thank you,” (Y/N) said as she pulled Yui in for a hug.

“Anytime. I’d never let a man come between our friendship. You mean so much more to me than some guy.” she replied, returning the hug.

After leaving as emotional wrecks from StarDollar, (Y/N) felt some sort of relief inside her. For sure, she felt bad for Yui having to deal with this outcome, but also extremely grateful that she wasn’t willing to jeopardize their friendship.

~~

The next day, (Y/N) woke up feeling a lot more refreshed. Maybe even empowered? She strode to class with an aura of fresh air, and Yui definitely seemed to take notice.

“Good morning (Y/N)!” Yui greeted.

“Good morning Yui!”

“Are you planning on returning his feelings to Sawamura-san soon?” Yui questioned.

“Yeah, I’m planning to do it after his practice today. I have another photoshoot today, but timings should work out if everything goes well,”

“Nice! Good luck (Y/N), you’ve got this!”

The rest of the day flew by quickly, and even the photoshoot went by a breeze. She quickly made it over to the gym where the boys’ volleyball team would be practicing and burst open the doors.

“DAICHI!”

Everyone turned towards her. The tall boy with freckles literally jumped in his spot.

‘Whoops. I’ll apologize to the team later.’

“(Y/N)?” Daichi inquired, “what’re you doing here?”

“Daichi, can we talk? Please?” she pleaded. Before he could answer, she turned to the team behind him, bowing. “Sorry guys, I’ll be borrowing your captain for a moment.” She took Daichi by the arm and dragged him out of the gym.

“It’s about time ‘friends’ became something more,” Sugawara muttered to himself.

Outside, (Y/N) walked towards the cherry blossom where Daichi had confessed to her. Daichi was quite honestly, frozen with shock after being suddenly removed from yelling at the simpletons for going crazy again.

“Daichi-” (Y/N) she started, and his attention snapped back to her, “Daichi, I thought a lot about what you said yesterday, and I have my answer.”

“(Y/N) if you need more time then--” he was cut off.

“Daichi, you mean the world to me. You treat me like (Y/N), the high school student, your childhood best friend, like a normal person, not like someone who’s placed upon a pedestal. That itself means so much to me. But it’s not only that. Daichi, I realized, when I started walking home by myself, my life is so different without you. It’s so boring, so dreadful. You bring joy into my life with just by being near me. And for that, I’m forever grateful.”

“(Y/N)-” his words were cut off this time with another familiar warm feeling.

She placed her lips on his, slightly hesitant at first, and Daichi, hesitant because he couldn’t believe this was happening to him. For years, this was only a mere dream, or fantasy of his, but it was becoming a reality.

After separating, Daichi pulled her into a warm embrace. Her head rested on his chest, and his arms wrapped around her like a protective shield (back off peeps lmaoooo).

This moment was quickly ruined by the rustling in the bushes, followed by the boys’ volleyball team jumping out and yelling in pure joy.

“About time Daichi!”

“Our captain is such a man!”

“(Y/N)-senpai isn’t single anymore, but she’s in the hands of someone trustworthy!”

“Noya-san! That was so deep!”

Fin.

~~

(A/N): This was the first one-shot I’ve ever written, so I hope it turned out okay :)

Special thanks to Apprentice Admin Strawberry-Chan and Mango-Chan for helping me edit this !

- Admin Kiwi-Chan

[balletroyale]

Asked and Answered: Russian Ballet

Honest question, do you think there’s a chance Kovaleva won’t be promoted to prima after all? Her repertoire is astoundingly limited... is it possible that newly-promoted Marchenkova will overtake her?

I have no idea what will happen. But I wouldn’t say Kovaleva’s repetoire is limited, especially as she is so ill-suited for what she does do. I will say that I see two openings for principal women at the Bolshoi in the next five years. Who will it be? Well, favor changes quickly there...

(Contd from last message re: Bolshoi v Mariinsky) can you BELIEVE than Nagahisa got JULIET?????? What’s next??? Nikiya for Lukina, Aurora for Nagahisa, Raymonda for Ionova and O/O for Nuikina?

Given the incompetence of the directing of the theatre, I fully suspect all these will eventually happen... But if the question wasn’t rhetorical, I’d say Aurora for Nagahisa and O/O for Nuikina are soonest in our future. Barf. 

Honestly I’m amazed at all the roles 2nd soloists at the Mariinsky get versus Bolshoi soloists.... I mean, Giselle for both Lukina and Nagahisa??? One of the heaviest principal roles?!?! Gamzatti for Nuikina? Meanwhile the only principal role Denisova has danced is Phrygia, Zhiganshina danced Gamzatti and both have been with the company for longer than the Mariinsky girls I mentioned. even Sevenard who is so hyped up hasn’t danced any principal role besides Kitri. And Kitri is objectively entry level, it’s not comparable in difficulty with Giselle. IMO the Bolshoi policy is much more prudent, I really like how they’re handling young dancers rn (perhaps they have learnt from the Kovaleva mess...?)

The structure of the Mariinsky is absolute f****ed up. Their ranks have basically been rendered meaningless. They have about four women who actually dance as principals, and yet almost all of the first soloists dance almost if not more frequently (as they dance principal AND soloist roles) for less prestige and of course, less money. If you’re going to cast people consistently in leading roles, then promote them so they can have something to show for it. It’s disgraceful to not give these dancers the rank they deserve. 

I agree the Bolshoi is leaning towards being miles better in this regard, though it hasn’t always been the case. I hope the trend continues. 

Regarding maria khoreva’s promotion, I think I saw someone say (I forgot who or where) that they suspect that Fateyev keeps promoting her to keep her at Mariinsky. She’s a major talent and they probably want to push her as the next Lopatkina or at least Tereshkina (god forbid but you know what I mean). But she’s very famous especially on social media with digital marketing, Instagram, Tiktok, etc. and has a lot of connections and clout overseas in the West. Basically any company would be happy to take her and she would instantly be an international star (with her level of dancing and being in a Western company) so Fateyev is desperate to keep her at Mariinsky so he attempts to appease her with leading roles and the rank of first soloist. Maybe this is something really obvious that everyone already knows but I never thought of it this way before and I think it makes a lot of sense.

Yes and I do really respect her business acumen and ability to sell herself for what people consider her worth as a young woman. However, I think she and the companies are very misguided in thinking that this is the way that ballet companies should be structured and careers made. 

Ohhh my GOD. This might seem a bit random but I honestly don’t know where else to talk about this (I’ll confront the people I’m about to talk about below but just thought sharing this here is quite important). So I run a Krysanova fan account on IG, recently posted a video of her fouettés. Someone reposted them on Twitter with the caption “Europeans” and someone else replied “Black culture: twerking” which they liked. I clicked into their account, they claim to be “pro-White” (now what the fuck is that?) and to “inspire, bring hope and joy to Whites” and they post content of European women. That’s fine and dandy, I love European culture but newsflash! Not all Europeans are White! And they didn’t even ask me for permission or credit me (just like how Europeans stole, invaded and colonized Indigenous peoples and their lands ahem) but that’s not even the worse. They apparently posted some photos that have Sw*stik*s in them (and deleted them promptly afterwards) and they went on some Youtube video of two Black women talking about dating and marriage in Iceland and harassed them saying Icelandic people find it disgusting, that they’re promoting “White replacement”... They also retweeted this account who is basically a White Supremacist spewing nonsense and hate to POC, especially the Black community. Saying White people are “being attacked”, defending H*tl*r, N*z*sm and racism, that POC perpetuate violent crime, drugs and prostitution, that Europe should only belong to “Indigenous Europeans” and it’s appalling that POC are “replacing White people” etc.. It hurts and disgusts me to see ballet, such a beautiful art form empowering and uplifting so many people around the world, being fucking weaponized and perverted into something that endorses such a vile belief and worldview. I know this might seem super random in your ask box, It was just one account that I’ve seen so far, I don’t know if this has been going on for a long time in their wider community of racist fucks but this is certainly the first time I have seen it and I’m SICK. I REALLY hope exploiting ballet for their disgusting purposes is not an actual phenomenon but it probably is :(

I’m sorry this happened to you. I don’t think it’s a widespread phenomena though, fortunately. 

[jojotichakorn]

so guess who watched 2moons2 and loved it despite thinking they would hate it for a very long time ? it’s me babeeey ! 

anyways , i know a good few people feel the same way i did about it , so i wanna make my case about why this version is actually as good as ( better than ? ) the og 2moons . 

before we start with the serious stuff , here’s an actual photo of me watching this series : 

now , ‘tis time - my huge ass review / not really review / thoughts on everything i’ve seen so far :

notes on the overall thoughts about the show and its vibe :

for the first time in forever a bl is actually not trying to stretch out for seasons knowing how unlikely it is for them to get a continuation ( *cough* the og 2moons but also lbc *cough* ) . with 2moons2 , they’re actually putting the whole story all in one , and you know what ? it’s better this way ! we somehow barely lose anything yet everything happens quicker and the pacing feels so much better . plus , it means we’re getting all the couples and all the best moments from the novel and don’t have to worry about anything ;

the overall script is better , which is why this version is better ( at least in that regard ) – i’m sorry , that’s just how it be . instead of simply translating whatever’s happening in the novel to screen – this version actually bends the story in ways that simply fit a show adaptation better . you can see that everyone involved actually gives a shit and that’s a nice change .

notes on the actors and the acting :

the actor who plays phana is actually really good and he manages to make pha an actually likable character, thanks to both the script and the acting itself – he sort of mixes pha’s obliviousness and initial indecisiveness with his general demeanor and makes all of it rather charming ;

the actor who plays yo is doing a good job , especially with the emotional scenes , though i would say to me personally he just doesn’t look “ cutesy “ enough – there was something that always picked bass apart from everyone else in the og show and i just don’t see enough of that here ;

ming still manages to have everything i’ve always loved about him and remains my favorite character even without kimmon’s face , so i suppose that’s both a testament to my being honest in who i like and unaffected by kimmon’s charms and the fact that the actor playing ming is fucking nailing it ;

kit was probably the one I was most nervous about ( and i’d say he’s generally a fan-favorite ) , but he ended up being really great as well . the thing i love the most about what the actor’s doing is probably all the subtle movements and glances he does - kit is a very reserved person , but he feels things deeply at the same time and that’s hard to show on screen , but the actor somehow manages to do it anyway ;

forth suffered the biggest change out of all of them , I think – he feels like way more of a bad boy here . if in the og 2moons we had forth that only looked like a bad boy , but was actually a known softy , here we seem to get a more popular trope of forth having an actual demeanor of a bad boy which has a lil’ heart of gold and a lot of kindness hidden behind . i’m not sure if it was the actor’s choice or if it was a collective decision and I’m not yet sure if I prefer it to the og version , but we’ll see . regardless , generally forth is amazing too ;

can’t say much about the actor who plays beam just yet , because we haven’t seen too much of him , but he’s slowly starting to shine through and we’re actually getting forthbeam this week , so he’s going to show himself in his full glory there - from what i’ve seen of him so far , i’m sure he’s gonna be awesome too .

notes on the characters and characterization :

there is suddenly a lot of character to phana and you actually start liking the guy , despite some things he does , and I think it’s a very collective effort – starting from the fact that we have an actual actor playing the character now ( instead of a clown ) and ending with how much the script tries to introduce him in a very different way as opposed to the og series ;

speaking of how different they introduce phana - the way they gradually introduced his pov is fucking fantastic . we start with them already dropping hints here and there in the first episode and the farther we go , the more we see of pha’s real self and his true feelings . I feel like that’s a significantly better decision than hiding his true intentions from us for almost the entirety of the show , making us think he’s a complete asshole and then doing a very obvious 180 which just dumps all of phana’s pov on our heads pretty much out of nowhere ;

ming provides most of the comedic elements in the show ( the ones that are actually funny that is ) – his facial expressions whenever anything phayo related happens are worth all the praise and he’s generally exactly the kind of life of the party that he’s supposed to be ;

because of quicker pacing and better writing , beam ends up being a far more fleshed out character from the start and I appreciate it . he’s less phana’s friend and more his own character now and it’s great .

notes on the couples and the romance :

the kisses are good . period . that’s all I have to say . they’re all fucking great . good job y’all , you really went through with that one ;

phayo are no longer boring and dragged out . they’re actually fucking cute and I enjoy their scenes instead of sitting there thinking “ where iss mingkiiit “ ;

as much as it pains me to say it ( and we all know how much I love kimmon and copgi ) but the contrast between mingkit in the new version is more loyal to the novel – ming is a tad bigger and generally more masc than kit and that’s how it was supposed to be .

notes on little details i couldn’t help but notice :

tiny nods to future couples are all over the place from the very beginning , which I appreciate – it’s not that they explicitly state anything , it’s just nice to hear forth briefly asking whether beam is gonna be at the party or to see kit lowkey staring at ming for a bit ;

the first scene with yo and forth is ten times better , in my personal opinion – it feels a tad more realistic and is just short enough to make sense ;

the first scene with kit and yo is a bit better too – there’s just something about them slowly recognizing each other that seems more convincing , like i can actually imagine it happening ;

all the “ omg you got way hotter !! “ moments always bothered me so much because … who fucking talks like that ? in this version , they’ve replaced it with a more tame “ you are so grown up and look so different now “ sort of thing , which is way more believable  ( especially for someone who hadn’t seen their friend for a year and then almost died after seeing him again , because puberty hit him like a fucking train on full speed and he got way different - it happens y’all , saw it with my own two eyes ) ;

they gave forth an actual motorcycle ! and he uses it ! all the time !

pha smiling whenever yo calls for him but changing his expression as soon as he turns around to actually look at him is just one of those super nice touches that shows this version as being more careful and caring with its characters and the plot ;

there’s actual fucking symbolism in this thing ? which is ? wow . the entire dance around the meal mingkit had on their “ date “ after ming won the competition and became the moon was 110% representative of what both of them felt towards each other ( and I mean every little gesture , every word – all of it ) and it’s fucking beautiful ;

small details of the show are mostly good – it doesn’t really matter much , but when you see someone opening their phone and looking through their recent calls , it always takes you out of the show to just see a bunch of generic names listed or – gods forbid – nothing at all . 2moons2 doesn’t have that problem and it’s a nice change .

notes on some not-so-good and not-very-good things ( in my personal opinion , of course ) :

in the best traditions of the og 2moons and the entire bl genre , there is enough problematic moments for us all to collectively sigh and roll our eyes – not necessarily a complaint towards 2moons2 itself , just kinda sad it couldn’t do better already knowing what a lot of people didn’t like ;

 the zoom-ins are a very interesting artistic choice , but as a person who perhaps watched too many soaps in their life , I’m kind of used to it ( besides anything that can remind me of toris is hands down a good thing ) ;

yo talks way too slowly – I understand he’s a super shy character but for fuck’s sake just the pauses between each pair of words he makes take up half the episode and it can get real annoying real fast ;

all product placement aside , the kitkat moments in the og 2moons were always the cutest and ming saying “ i love kitkat “ while eating the chocolate bar and staring at kit was always an iconic moment and one of my personal favorites across all bls so it’s kind of sad to see that entire lil’ quirk to be completely gone from the show and the boys’ dynamic ;

the entire phayo reconciliation scene seems confusing and way too rushed for me - i immediately started filling in the blanks with what i know from the og 2moons and that’s just not something that’s supposed to happen , especially with such a substantial scene ;

way too much of that usual “ lady gang “ we see in so many bls which is a shitty trope , as well as a girl who stalks the gay couple ‘cause she has nothing better to do - we all fucking hate those in the first place , but especially when there’s too much of them . i’d rather see another mingkit scene , thank you very much .

this is long enough already , so i’m gonna go ahead and wrap it up . i was being as honest as i could in all accounts and though there is some things i don’t like about this version too - in general , as well as in comparison to the previous one , i think it wins with very little doubt . and i certainly recommend everyone who was putting it off to watch it , because it’s absolutely worth it . it’s seriously very good , i pinky promise !

[cat-stark]

theonsa + university shenanigans!

anon, this is quite possibly the most ridiculous thing i’ve ever written, but i had a blast. 

THEON: Babe, I’m willing to do a lot for you, but not this.

THEON: I’ve grown as a person since you’ve seen me last.

THEON: I have a conscience now.

ROBB: Um???

ROBB: I saw you three hours ago?

ROBB: Also you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair?

[read on ao3]

THEON: Oh fuck off with the John Mulaney quotes. I hate Jon for making you watch him.

ROBB: It’s like his duty. I’m pretty sure John Mulaney is the only successful English major, so Jon needs someone to look up to.

THEON: Literally how the fuck did you land Margaery?

THEON: Speaking of whom, I’m not willing to help you cheat on her.

ROBB: Did you use ‘whom’ correctly? God how stoned are you?

ROBB: And excuse??? The fuck??? You dare???

THEON: ??? You literally texted me “So there’s this girl…”

ROBB: For JON, but go off I guess

ROBB: Also don’t fucking play like you’re suddenly honor bound.

ROBB: You’re just terrified of my girlfriend

THEON: Also true, but she’s not special. I’m terrified of a lot.

ROBB: You’re a lot.

ROBB: But are you going to help or not?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In Theon’s defense he hadn’t really expected his night to wind up like this.

On the other hand - and why the fuck was he debating the other side, when he was literally talking to himself in his head, and trying to defend himself? - he should have known that nothing good was going to come out of tonight. Sure, he hadn’t expected to wind up in Sansa fucking Stark’s dorm room wearing nothing but skin tight swim shorts and holding a goat in his arms, but honestly, he should have expected something along those lines, considering that Robb had texted him about a girl.

(The last time Robb had texted Theon those words they had wound up drunk at a bar, where the girl in question had convinced the two of them that the circle of life meant that every time someone died, their spirit was put into whatever being was born at the exact moment of their death.

Bran had been forced to come rescue them, and he was the one who had convinced them - when they were sober - that he was occasionally possessed by a raven with three eyes.)

Theon had fucking known better, but he was in a shitty mood, because had received his financial accounting exam back, and he had done abysmally well, thereby destroying his dreams of being kicked out of the business program, and god forbid doing something he actually cared about instead, like teaching seven year olds how to tie their fucking shoes and how to read an analog clock. It was fucking tragic and Theon Greyjoy was the only person for the job, but if his father found out about all the early childhood development classes he’d been taking, he would have bigger problems than the one he had currently found himself in.

Which was…yeah, it was a problem.

Not only because he was standing in the middle of Sansa Stark’s bedroom, as previously mentioned, but because she was sitting cross legged on her bed - and fuck crossing her legs did nothing to hide just how fucking long they were - wearing nothing but a long-sleeved Winterfell University shirt that was too big for her. Theon reckoned it might have been Robb’s, which honestly just made her kind of hotter. He probably ought to do some serious self-reflection, or at the very least, talk to Sam about it. But Theon was comfortable with his level of fucked up, and Sam was only any good at psychoanalyzing someone when he had at least two joints. Theon would rather just smoke the joints himself.

Even worse than what she was wearing - which, really all Theon could think about was removing her clothes - was the wide eyed stare Sansa was currently fixing him with. Her eyes were already so fucking wide and blue. It should literally be illegal. At the very least, against the fucking handbook. Theon hadn’t been aware that the school had a handbook until Jon had brought it up at some point - fucker probably jerked off to it, fucking weirdo - but they did, and he was fairly certain that Sansa Stark’s big blue Disney princess eyes were violating some sort of obscure rule. Jon had already pointed out a handful of small clauses that Theon would be mildly concerned about, if he ever managed to think about something other than Sansa fucking stark. Which he didn’t exactly manage often. Which brought him to his current problem.

“You’re lucky my roommate isn’t here.”

Theon blanched. Good god, Theon would literally never hear the end of it if Margaery had been in here. As it was, she was probably already smirking at his expense from wherever she was. Robb’s girlfriend was terrifying, and insanely omniscient. She was the only one who could actually rival Bran Stark - and that little asshole was an actual psychic, Theon refused to believe differently. She probably had some innate sense for things like this.

This being the fact that Theon was stupidly in love with her best friend, who was currently wearing only a long-sleeved shirt and panties, and not tiny shorts like Theon had previously assumed.

God he was hyperventilating.

“This is all Robb’s fault.”

Sansa rolled her eyes. “Well obviously.”

“Also a bit Jon’s. He’s into this girl now.” Sansa’s eyes lit up, but Theon barreled forward. It was Marge’s job to keep her up to date on the gossip. Also, Theon didn’t actually know who the girl was. “And apparently she wanted to do this G.O.A.T. yoga. All of the signs were advertising it in the student commons.”

Sansa nodded along, as if all of this was making perfect sense. Theon could have kissed her then and there. He could have kissed her just about any time of day. Thing was, he never did. Fucking coward.

“Well, G.O.A.T. yoga took itself a little too seriously. They had actual goats.” Theon paused dramatically, waiting for Sansa’s reaction. When the expected surprise never came, Theon’s brow furrowed. “Who has goats at yoga?”

“Um. Well it is goat yoga? I’m…perplexed by your confusion here Theon.”

He rolled his eyes. “Well yeah, but like, greatest of all time yoga. Like Gregor Clegane is the greatest of all time.”

At that, Sansa sat up straighter. “Setting aside your blatant disrespect as sheer ignorance , and praying that you aren’t serious, considering that Sandor is by far the superior Clegane, goat yoga is actually a thing. It’s not G.O.A.T. yoga. It’s literally yoga with goats.”

Theon’s eyes darkened - gods Sansa was hot when she talked sports. She was hot all of the time, but now Theon was imagining fucking her in a jersey, and nothing else. When wasn’t he imagining fucking Sansa, honestly though? His fantasies were rarely that original - they just featured Sansa.

(He wasn’t Pod. Poor fucker actually admitted - while drunk off his ass - that he had once created an entire Dungeons & Dragons level fantasy, complete with actual dice and a dungeon master - not in a kinky way. But Pod had also had a threesome, so needless to say Robb, Theon, Jon, and Sam had all shown up to Pod’s the next time he invited them to try D&D.)

“The flyers clearly were marked as G.O.A.T. As in the letters of ‘goat’ spelled out, with periods in between each one.” Theon was growing a bit agitated, but that might have more to do with the goat that was currently squirming in his arms.

“Theon. It’s goat yoga. I promise. It does not stand for ‘greatest of all time’.”

Theon gaped at her. “Then why the fuck would they put fucking periods in?” Sansa burst out laughing, and the goat bleated angrily in his arms, and tried to kick out. “No, honestly. You’re the marketing guru here. You have to know how to make posters and shit for communications, right? Haven’t you taken a class on advertising yet? Surely you know that’s a fucking stupid thing to do?”

Sansa frowned. “I’m an agricultural economics major.”

Theon stared at her, mouth slightly ajar. “Robb told me you were doing communications!”

She snorted. “Robb doesn’t even know what major he is.”

Which - fair fucking point.

But also -

“God that’s hot.”

Sansa’s eyebrows rose even higher - if possible - and Theon felt himself wanting to sink into the ground even more - if possible.

“There’s…literally nothing remotely hot about my major,” Sansa said slowly. “There is an incredible dearth of ‘sexy agricultural economist’ costumes. Not even on Etsy. I’ve checked.” She said this so primly and matter-of-fact, that Theon had to do a double take, before realizing she was absolutely serious. Meaning she had been searching for sexy costumes.

Sansa did the incredible thing - okay, every fucking thing she did was incredible, but this was actually supernatural or some shit - where she read his fucking mind and said, “Halloween is just around the corner.”

And wasn’t that a fucking glorious thought, Sansa Stark in a sexy Halloween costume? God, Theon was already half hard thinking of it, but he was holding a goat, and that felt vaguely sacrilegious. Or something. Theon worshiped the Drowned God, but he was pretty sure one of the faiths had something to do with goats. Point was, it was a highly inconvenient time for this problem to arise .

“You could wear whatever you want, you’re the sexy part.”

Sansa’s lips quirked into a smile, and it was enough to halt Theon’s impressive attempts at kicking himself with his own mind. Or maybe he should just call up Arya, and ask her to do it for him. Come to think of it, he actually had an unending list of fierce women who would happily kick his ass. Speaking of -

“I’m hiding in here. By the way.” Theon blurted out the words, knowing that he was making less sense the longer he stayed in the presence of Sansa. It was a casualty of proximity, but frankly, since it was her fucking fault, she should be used to it. Even Dr. Lannister had been rendered speechless by her, and the man never fucking shut his mouth. Thank god he was head over heels for Dr. Tarth, because oh gods, Theon couldn’t compete with a smug, blonde asshole. It was exactly Sansa’s unfortunate type.

Not that Theon was really in competition. He was quite content pining from afar.

“You’re hiding in here. With a goat.”

But really, what sort of questions could even be asked? No, truly, what the fuck was a beautiful young co-ed supposed to say to her older brother’s best friend, who was currently dressed in indecently tight swim shorts that Loras had given him as a gag gift last Christmas, that had the words ‘OLYMPIC GOLD’ printed in large blocky letters across his ass, clutching a squalling goat to his chest? It was like a fucking Renaissance painting - one that Sansa had better just accept and move on.

Really, Theon was far too sober for any of the night’s events to be remotely justifiable.

“Well, I already explained the G.O.A.T. yoga.”

“Goat yoga, and yes, go on.” God, she could hear the periods that Theon put in the word. He needed to fucking marry her. Maybe he should ask Gendry for advice. Sure, the man had literally proposed to the girl who took his virginity - approximately two hours after said deflowering took place - but Arya hadn’t killed him. Plus, the two fucked off to Vegas to actually get married - and Theon was still holding onto that tidbit for the opportune blackmail moment - so clearly he had gotten the whole desperation angle to work for him. And since Theon had significantly less than what Gendry was working with, he felt like he definitely had more desperation than his hopefully future brother-in-law.

“So we were there for the girl. Jon’s girl. But like…Dany was there too.” Honestly, that should have been enough information, but Sansa’s face was still carefully blank. “She had a goat Sansa. Dany.” She still wasn’t seeing the problem. “Daenerys Targaryen! She had a goat! I had to save him!”

“You do realize that Dany is the president of the ASCPA chapter here? She literally spends her Tuesdays trying to get people to sign pledges to go vegan. On Saturday she hosted the rally to protest the poaching of lizard lions. Theon you were there !”

Okay. That was technically a fair point.

Counter: Sansa had also been there, and she had been wearing thigh high boots paired with a long-sleeved dress that left Theon uncomfortably hard for the rest of the rally, and completely oblivious to whatever was happening around him.

“I mean, I didn’t think she was going to hurt the goat.” Now that Theon’s mind was a little clearer, he could see how ridiculous the idea had been. Dany did seem particularly attached to animals, and she seemed compassionate enough. She had zero regard for Theon’s mental health, considering how many times Theon had tried to stop by Yara’s for some decent fucking food, only to hear through the ridiculously thin walls, Dany screaming something about riding a dragon. Complete with his sister’s moans that were honestly more traumatizing than his childhood.

Fuck, he was probably going to blab that to Dr. Tarth on Monday, and she would start analyzing his relationship with his sister, make him cry, and gently scold him for trivializing his actual shitshow of a childhood. But whatever, it was a coping method, and it was his .

“Then what did you think?”

“Er,” Theon scratched the back of his head, which was a habit, and which looked effortlessly cool - a fact Theon knew , because he swore up and down he saw Sansa’s eyes darken a little - except it wasn’t quite as effortless or as cool, because he was still holding a fucking goat. “I may have been concerned that she was going to do some sort of ritualistic blood sacrifice that involved fire, a goat’s blood, and the full moon.”

Sansa stared at him, mouth open, for a full sixty seconds. It was terrible, because it gave Theon ample time to think about everything he’d like to do with that mouth and - fuck .

“Theon, have you been watching Riverdale alone again?”

Theon pouted.

“Robb has an evening class now, and Jon only likes period dramas.” Sansa also liked period dramas, and being classy and high brow with Jon. But she also watched women’s wrestling with Arya, and Spanish telenovelas with Rickon, and getting wine drunk and watching trashy reality television with Bran. And of course, Riverdale with Robb and Theon.

“Well why didn’t you ask me to watch it with you?”

Theon’s brain was currently short-circuiting. There wasn’t really a decent response to that, considering the answer - “I’m so fucking in love with you, and I may have already picked out the tie I’ll wear at our wedding, but also I want to fuck you a dozen ways into next Saturday, but also I want to sit down and talk mortgages and student loans with you,”   - sounded fucking insane, and Theon wasn’t about to blow the best relationship he’d ever had. Even though their relationship consisted of Sansa being his best friend’s little sister.

Too impatient for Theon to answer, Sansa rolled her eyes, and began pushing books off of her bed, reaching for her laptop. “Theon, put the damn goat down, and get over here.”

He was maybe hyperventilating. He was pretty sure this was how most porn videos in a college setting began. Which - hey, he wasn’t complaining.

Taking a seat on Sansa’s bed, tentatively, he watched as she booted up her laptop, willing his heart not to skip a beat when he realized that her wallpaper was a picture of the time Theon had grabbed her round the waist and spun her wildly at the pumpkin patch, in the middle of a cornfield. It had been a disastrous outing, in which the Starks had discovered that Bran had hay fever, Jon had spent a literal hour picking a pumpkin, Robb had cried when he thought of all the awkward looking pumpkins that wouldn’t be selected - and then tried to take all of them - and Rickon and Arya had brought a godsawful mask so they could take turns scaring the living shit out of people in the corn maze. Gendry had also cried.

But Sansa had looked so lovely, with her cheeks flushed, and her eyes shining bright, that Theon hadn’t been able to stop himself. He had just reached over and started swinging her around, delighting in her shrieking giggles. By the time he had realized that Catelyn was taking pictures, he was too drunk on Sansa’s happiness to care.

The loud dun-dun of Netflix startled Theon out of his thoughts, and he glanced at Sansa, who was looking at him with the sort of tenderness that made him feel like she was performing the softest, most delicate vivisection known to man. He felt bare, but he still couldn’t look away from her Disney princess eyes.

(Seriously, it was incredible that there wasn’t a brightly colored animated musical about her. Then again, all of the things Theon imagined doing with her were not appropriate for children, and yes , Theon would of course be cast as her Prince Charming.

Suck it Jaime Lannister.)

“Hey. Any time you want to watch, just call. Seriously Theon. I’m right here.”

Theon swallowed, and nodded, and watched the small smile drift across Sansa’s lips. He longed to reach out and touch it - with his fingers, his lips, anything - but it wasn’t the time. Theon knew that. People could say what they wanted about him - and fucking hell there was plenty someone could say - but he had a good sense of timing. He wasn’t just waiting for some elusive, obscure ‘right moment’. But he was waiting all the same.

For now, Theon planned to do nothing more than curl up with his best friend’s younger sister, and watch the terrible teen soap opera on Netflix, while chilling, and decidedly not Netflix and chilling. And Theon knew there was every chance in the world that he would fall asleep in this bed, and he knew it was equally likely that Theon would spend all morning lazily kissing Sansa Stark if she allowed it, which - yeah, he kind of thought she might. But those were all maybes, and Theon never planned a fucking thing in his life.

The goat currently lying on the floor of Sansa’s bedroom was testament to that.

MARGAERY: [image]. Oh my god. Can you actually believe these two?

ROBB: What the fuck?

ARYA: fucking bless

GENDRY: Is that a goat?

JON: When Theon wakes up, please flip him off for me.

MARGAERY: With pleasure.

ARYA: did they plan this?

JON: Please, Theon doesn’t make plans. Speaking of which, Marge, on second thought, please pour ice cold water over him to wake him up.

ARYA: why do you text with punctuation???

JON: I’m an English major. It’s practically required.

ARYA: is it also required for you to be a little bitch?

ROBB: BURN

ROBB: But seriously guys. Why the fuck are Sansa and Theon cuddling with their eyes closed?

MARGAERY: It’s called sleeping dear.

ARYA: literally every fanfic i’ve read starts with this

JON: If you’re going to use the word ‘literally’, please use it correctly

MARGAERY: Oh sweetling. Every fanfic I’ve written starts with this.

ARYA: jon i will l i t e r a l l y kill you

ARYA: and links or it didn’t happen marge

MARGAERY: [link]

ARYA: fuck me up, bedsharing and enemies to lovers

MARGAERY: I love this fic more than your brother

ROBB: Wait…I thought that was the one where the characters are banging? Like literally all the time????

JON: For the love of the gods, please use literally correctly

ROBB: You only care about grammar this much when you get laid, so Theon and I say you’re welcome

ARYA: speaking of theon and getting laid last night…

ROBB: WHAT IS GOING ON?

GENDRY: Is no one seriously going to talk about the goat?

[erikismybitch]

Waiting In Vain: Chapter 2

Why Not Trey?

This was Marleys second day in a row waking up in Trey’s bed. She fidgeted in his sheets , his huge hands caressed the side of her butt. It soothed her as she slowly drifted back into a slumber . Once she was still , he went back to rolling his backwood.

Trey smoked a blunt every morning , along with a bottle of alkaline water . Marley suggested he drink that a while back , he felt the change in his body and never tuned back. His friends made fun of him, called it “white people water”. Marley exposed him to a lot of things . Like exfoliating his skin and saving for his future . “I know you don’t care now , but one day you gon’ get old and who wants to work when their old “ Marley helped him open up an account for retirement the day after that conversation.

He used a lighter to spark the blunt . His phone rang , it was Amber, the mother of his one year old son. He wouldn’t dare answer the phone in the presence of Marley . Not only did she not know he had a kid, he was also having sex with her too . Amber called again and he didn’t answer . The buzzing woke Marley up again . Quickly she covered her exposed upper body , still feeling insecure about those indirect weight comments from days ago.

“It’s not like I haven’t seen everything before “ Trey chuckled and went to pull the sheets down , instead he began coughing from his smoke . She turned to him, still covering her body . “What’s up with you ?” He cleared his throat by taking a sip of water . She debated on whether to tell him what Erik said to her , but that would be all bad . Trey loved two things , Marley and violence . God forbid one had anything to do with the other .

“I said what’s up with you ?” He repeated himself .

“Nothing...I gotta get home so I can work” she raised up and sat upright. Trey handed her his blunt , she took a quick puff and gave it back .

“You coming back tonight ?” He questioned .

“Three nights in a row? You know we don’t do good when we together too long “ she laughed , Trey only laughed because she did .

“You right “

She placed two tender kisses on his chiseled shoulder and got up . Fully naked she began to get dressed . Trey admired her body and continued to stare at it . She blushed slightly. He was the only man she had ever allowed to see her in that vulnerable state . But as soon as she got fully dressed, she left.

Marley always had her laptop with her , sometimes she’d work in random places . This time she wanted to go back home and take a long shower . That’s exactly what she did . Then after that, worked six hours and crashed again. That’s all her life had become . Work and sleep , then the occasional slip up with Trey.

Her phone was on fire with constant calls from Becky from the bar . The sports bar that Marley sometimes worked waiting shifts when she needed the extra money . The same bar that she agreed to work at tonight , two weeks ago. It was an hour past the shifts start. Marley was able to get ready with the speed of light and dash straight to the bar .

“You told me you could work when I needed you !” Becky shouted as soon as she got a view of Marley walking through the bar doors .

“I’m so sorry , I totally forgot “ Marley admitted , it was the truth . Her brain had been focused on so many things lately, it slipped her mind . Marley was relieved that there was just a baseball game showing , that meant tonight would be mellow . When football was playing , that’s when it got rowdy but she got the most tips . Basketball games , those brought in the black crowd . A whole bunch of men hitting on her and not tipping .

After apologizing a little more , Becky forgave her and put her to work . She made a few drinks after following table orders . Then tended to whatever other customers needed . She took a break three hours in , it was around Ten now . Tiana had sent her a message , from what she could see on her phone.

Can you do my hair on set tomorrow, I got a shoot

Your shoots last all day , I need to work tomorrow .

Tiana was a model , not a real one that was represented by an agency . She had a career that branched through social media . With over a million followers on Instagram, Tiana was a hot commodity . Marley wasn’t unattractive by any means, she just wasn’t her cousin .

“You’re the smart one , keep studying. Tianas just gonna marry a rich man to take care of her. You’re gonna ‘ take care of yourself” her aunt said those words to her , when she was just ten years old . Marley was always weirded out at how their family categorized the two of them . Marley did all the schooling while Tiana took pictures. And made in a day what Marley made a week. The family was wrong .

Tiana kept going on about how her hairdresser couldn’t make the shoot tomorrow and she was desperate . Marley apologetically told her no again . Then she trolled her about how she wouldn’t buy her anymore clothes using her fashion nova stipend. Marley laughed out loud , she didn’t care about that . Situations like these, she would reach out to Trey and joke about how needy Tiana was. He hated her and vice versa . Tiana thought Trey was a hoodrat and he thought she was stuck up. So he enjoyed bashing her to make Marley feel better . But they were broken up , and she had to learn how to cope with things without him . She knew she had pushed it when she spent the night twice that week .

So , you’re really not going to help me ?

Marley didn’t even text her back . She slid her phone in her pocket and went back to work . As she waited tables and mingled with customers , she thought about how she never went out and did things like this . The few friendships she had , had no substance . In college she made friends , but when she moved back home Marley grew apart from them . Then she met Trey and totally isolated herself from everybody. Then came Tiana , who was arrogant and self centered . But actually the only person she had .

I’ll do your hair tomorrow, but don’t expect me to stay at the shoot .

Marley gave in , like she always did . Putting the needs of others first instead of her own. Tiana responded with a kissy face emoji . Then warned her that Erik would be staying over tonight . Marley cashed out at around 1am. Taking home almost three hundred in tips . She made it to the apartment about a quarter past .

The welcoming sex sounds made her feel right at home , since it was a normal thing now . Marley made it through the hall way and stopped at Tianas door . Where she could clearly hear the act of bodies slapping against eachother . She put her ear to the door , her favorite thing to do was listen to the off the wall things Erik would say . Tiana was yelping loudly, then she sounded to be gasping for air .

“Talk to me bitch , speak the fuck up !”

Marley felt her body shift weakly at his words. He was different from Trey , he wasn’t a talker . But she didn’t mind it , in fact Marley took a liking to the talking .

“Tell me this pussy mine !”

“Erik! This is your pussy!”

Marley backed away and allowed them their privacy . For the most part because she could still hear them in her room , in the bathroom , in the shower and in her bed .

Tiana is fucking this dude so loud that I can’t even sleep.

She sent a text to Trey.

Want me to come over and make it a competition?

Marley considered it , but then considered the fact that she was allowing him to get too close for comfort . It was like opening Pandora’s box .

Right before she moved in with Tiana , she and Trey were happy . So she thought . Marley had a scare , she missed her period . And Marley never missed a period . Trey was sitting at the end of her bed, she didn’t want to push the issue that she could possibly be pregnant . She was afraid , Marley wasn’t ready to be a mother. She moved , Trey looked back at her and smiled . It was early morning and he already had a mouth full of gold teeth . She laughed before she broke the news .

“Trey , I missed my period “ it was like a weight was released from her chest. Trey’s smile faded instantly. He made a face , one that she would never forget . It was as if she was trash on the street . Not the love of his life like he claimed she was .

“I don’t want a baby with you...”

It’s okay , they stopped . GN

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #234

“don’t take care of me - be scared of me.”

Does it bother you when people beg? I mean, it depends on the consistency, intensity, and the subject. Do you ever eat cookie dough raw? I have, but salmonella will punish me some day. Are you one of those people who are always cold? I am the exact opposite. When was the last time you rode a rollercoaster? Pf, never. Don't want to. Do you like hot dogs? I hate the fact that I love them lol. Do you have any weird rings? I wouldn't consider any "weird," no. Have any bad addictions? Ugh, caffeine. Are you anything like your siblings? I am very, very different from my two immediate sisters. Ma says I'm extremely similar to Katie, my half-sister, though it's odd because we don't seem to agree on very much? I don't even think she likes me. When was the last time you shaved your legs? Literally not since like... February. It's not like anybody but family sees my legs anyway. It's just stupid societal expectations for a woman, and I've never been prone to obeying those to begin with. Do you like long bike rides? I used to LOVE riding my bike when I lived in the woods/by an almost-dead road, but I haven't that in... god, years. I don't even have that bike anymore. My knees would never, EVER survive riding one right now. Do you know someone who is blind? My sister is in one eye, but I can't remember which. Do you have a YouTube account? how else would I like every Mark video in existence and I wish I was kidding?????????????? How many cell phones have you had? No clue. Not many. Maybe like, four or so. When was the last time something bothered you? Yesterday 'cuz I was getting weird fuckin phone calls. Do you ever try free samples at the store? Sure, if they seem like something I'd like. Can you speak French or Spanish? No. What school year do you think will be/was the saddest? 8th. Anxiety and depression were getting bad, puberty was A Thing, confused about life in general and why all this sadness and fear was happening to me. Do you like boys with long hair? I mean this depends on the person, but in general, yes. I think I prefer it over shorter, in most cases. Have you ever had plum juice? No, but that sounds decent. If I can even remember what a plum tastes like... I loved them as a kid, haven't had one in like, years. Have you ever passed out? Once, almost twice not long after the first time. Was today someones birthday that you know? No. Have you drank any water today? A little bit. When was the last time you had a crowd at your house? Holy shit. Probably not since we MOVED here in '17. Are you worried about anything right now? When aren't I at least a bit worried about something, really. Are you keeping anything from your best friends right now? No. Do you currently have any mosquito bites? Not currently. A- blood, hell yeah man. Do you have Twitter? Yes. Literally to like. um. one somebody's stuff. If you found out you were pregnant, who would you tell? God FUCKING forbid. Obviously my family. Sara. If it was from consensual sex, I'd tell friends eventually. If it was, uh, any other way, probably not EVEN some family because there are some that would probably never speak to me again if I got an abortion. Is your driveway stone or pavement? Stone. Have you ever caught something on fire? Yeah. Y'know, s'mores, sparklers, wood when making a bonfire or something. Regular stuff. How many people have you kissed in a car? One or two. Idr if Sara and I ever have. Do you and your best friend have an inside joke? "buzzfeed" Do you have a gym membership? Not anymore. How long was your last shower? Not even ten minutes. Get clean and get out. What is your favorite color fingernail polish? I think red tends to be the prettiest. If you had to get a tattoo, what would it be of? Man, don't ask me this. I have a billion ideas. If I had the money for it though, I'd probably finally get this (Denialism) as a tat on my left upper arm next. It's like, my favorite drawing ever, and I've already gotten the artist's permission. What is the best fast food place, in your opinion? Sonic has had my heart lately. What is your favorite eye color in the opposite sex? I just generally like vibrant and/or light blue eyes, but I really don't care about someone's eye color. What is your mom’s maiden name? Yeah, let's share that on the Internet. Would you rather receive balloons or flowers for valentine’s day? Flowers. Balloons are nothing but waste and wind up as litter anyway. Do you follow the crowd when it comes to trends or do your own thing? Do my own thing. Trends 'n shit don't matter to me; I don't care how "cool" or "uncool" something is. I like what I like. What is your worst bad habit? Assuming the worst of absolutely everything within .01 seconds. Do you believe in happily ever after? No. Things aren't always gonna be happy, sorry. What is your average phone bill? I don't know, Dad pays it. Which is better: chapstick or lip gloss? Chapstick. Have you ever been proposed to? No. Do you take certain medicine on a daily basis? A decent number. Have you ever seen two people together and you got sick to your stomach? I remember seeing a picture of Jason and his girlfriend after me once after they got together and I. Don't know how to describe that feeling. I think I felt more murderous than anything. Do you prefer laptops or desktop computers? Laptops for portability's sake. Have you ever had a really bad haircut? Looking back, the haircut I had before this one wasn't great. Only at some angles did it look good. I mean I don't regret it though, it's how I realized I think I'd like short hair. Did you ever order any clothes from the Alloy catalog? Never heard of them. What brand, color, and type is your favorite eyeliner? I love black eyeliner, but I don't have any favorite brands. I hate liquid, though. My hands aren't steady enough for that, and it's just messy. What’s your favorite type of yogurt? Meh, not a big fan. Idk. Do you have any overdue library books right now? No. Do you have a piggy bank? No. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? Nope. Do you own plaid pants? No. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? Yeah, through all of middle school. What was your high school’s mascot? A firebird. Who were your best friends in high school? I had various ones. Excluding The Ex, there was Hannia, Alon, Megan, Maria, Girt... There was a few. Have you ever been to Chicago? Once, with Sara and her dad. At night. And the lights and cars and shops and towers and everything was too much for my rural ass. I'm not a city person, but because it was SO different and just incredible in scope and all, I still thought it was absolutely beautiful and so exciting. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? Bottom. When my sister and I were little and shared a room though, I almost always had the top bunk. As I got older though, that inverted. Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? I THINK Aaron did once, but I can't remember for sure. Are you close with your cousins? No. Are you close to any aunts or uncles? Not especially, but only because, like my cousins, I pretty much never see them. Are you close to your grandparents? All but one is dead, and that one is dying. Barely knew any, save for my remaining grandmother, and we've never gotten along well/agreed on much, but I mean, I still care for her. I also pretty much never saw her. Who betrayed your trust? Plenty of people. Who was your first best friend (apart from a sibling)? Brianna. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? I don't know. Probably play make-believe or go swimming. What kind of popcorn is your favorite? Normal with butter and salt. Does your town have a big fountain in it? The next town over does. What is your town known for? "You mean Tennessee?" Don't think that's too much of a giveaway. What’s one way in which you’re still a child? I am very dependent on Mom. What’s one way in which you’re old? My knees are at least 107. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? gooooooood take me to get a tatTOOOOOOO What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? Mom buying tickets to the Ozzy concert next year alksdjfalwe. I've been losing my fucking mind since the new single came out and album was announced. Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? I'm not a vengeful person at all, really. I tend to forgive. Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? English has always been a breeze, and usually science. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? Just about anyone looks better with dyed hair to me. I just like colorful, interesting hair. Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? Yes. I was born dirty blonde. Do you own an American flag shirt? No. Do you own a British flag shirt? No. Do you have a seashell collection? No. We used to have a box of them, though. Do you have a rock collection? No. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Just chill. Casually swim around aimlessly. Cacti or seashells? Hmmmm. I think seashells, but that's tough. Dreamcatcher or wind chimes? MAN, this depends on the design. Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? The only one I have that I consider the absolute *perfect* moment was at Ashley's gender reveal when she and her husband found out the baby is a girl. Her face especially is priceless. What color was your first car? N/A Was your first car used or new? N/A What was the last thing you said in complete caps? HAHAHA I sent Sara a fucking CURSED picture of Pennywise as a good morning text. Do you enjoy playing board games? Not really. Are you good at playing Hide and Go Seek? I guess I was as a kid. I'm sure I wouldn't be now. Elephants can't really hide. :^) Do you live in an apartment or a house? A house. Is there a music artist that never ceases to amaze you? As far as truly *amaze* goes, probably Amy Lee. Her voice is just fucking incredible. What is your favorite term of endearment? Probably "love." Or "dear." I dunno. Do you like Twizzlers? NO. They're gross as hell. Do you sneak in candy/soda when you go to the movies? Yeup. Fuck those prices. What was the last song you had on repeat? I adore Ozzy's new "Under The Graveyard" beyond words and so have been binging it like mad since yesterday lmao. Where are your favorite pair of jeans from? I don't have jeans. Do you tap your foot when you listen to music? No. If I respond to it in any voluntary way, I'll most likely be tapping my hand with the beat. Will you get your hair cut anytime soon? I need to, yeah. I hate when my hair starts getting long enough to curl a tad upwards in the back. Are you uncoordinated? VERY. Have you ever listened to Jane’s Addiction? I know and enjoy "Jane Says" and "Been Caught Stealing." What’s the worst thing you’ve ever experienced? Heartbreak. What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? I dunno, there's a lot. Do you write “Dear Diary” when you write in your diary? I don't have a diary. I don't think I ever did. What is your escape from your problems? Music, playing WoW, stuff like that. Just give me a distraction. Do you watch YouTube videos a lot? Literally every day throughout the day. It's at least background noise. Do you have an embarrassing period story? No, thankfully. Would your life be at risk if someone knew everything about you? No. Is your life at risk? I mean, more than like by disease, some psycho, an accident, shit like that, no? Do you feel safe in your hometown? No. Never did. I miss our house and the childhood memories, but that place was dangerous. Where do you dream of moving to? The mountains of NC. What fascinates you more: outer space or the bottom of the ocean? Space. Have you ever seen a UFO? I guess by the definition of "unidentified flying object," yes, but I think it was some sort of natural phenomenon with a star, not an alien. Maybe. Does anyone encourage you to go after your dreams? Yeah. :') What is the stupidest thing anyone’s ever said to you? "i'Ll AlWaYs LoVe YoU, bRiTtAnY!" What’s the most amount of weight you’ve gained from a medication? LET'S. FUCKING. NOT. Do you name inanimate objects? No. What do you think the constellations mean? "Nothing? Just humanity reaching to ascribe some type of meaningfulness to the world around them." <<<< This, I like this. Did you like the venue your senior prom was held at? I mean it was at the local college's gym. Nothing special. Which spelling do you like best: Hayley, Hailey, or Haley? Hm, I think "Hailey." Which name is better: Hailey, Bailey, Kailey, or Shailey? Ummmmm I think "Kailey." Are you mad at someone? I'm always going to be mad to a degree. Do you feel like your life was stolen from you? I guess in a way by mental illness? Do you have a professional camera? Yeah. What would you change about your hair? Ugh, I want to COLOR it. I really want silver hair atm. When was the last time you changed your hairstyle? Last year. Do you like rose gold? I love it. What’s your favorite color gummy bear? I don't... care? Oh wait, maybe green. Those normally have an apple kinda feel, right? Or do they all thaste the same? What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex’s body? I like s h o u l d e r b l a d e s. Have you ever made up/sang a song for someone you cared about? Only ever poems. Ever had a song sang about/for you? I mean, I've had like songs /dedicated/ to me, but never actually made for me specifically. What is your middle name? Marie. Like every other white girl known to man. What do you smell like? My house, I guess? Ever hurt yourself playing Wii? I don't believe so. Do you have freckles? Not on my face, but random ones on the rest of my body, yeah. Can you do the alphabet in sign language? No. Do you like your feet? I seriously hate feet. That includes mine. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had in your mouth? uhhhhhhhhh Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No. (If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shorty" instead of "girl"? Ugh no, thank Christ. Have you ever sent an embarrassing moment of yours into a mag to be printed? No. What IS your most embarrassing moment? I've told it before but now I don't remember it??? What’s the last thing to make you scream? Like a small, quick one, I think a loud noise scared me. I've been extremely sensitive to those lately and idk why??? Do your parents knock before coming in, or just barge on in? My door's never really closed, but when it is, Mom doesn't. Dad does. Do you think you’re more cute or sexy? BOY neither. Do you own any mini skirts? Bitch I wish I could wear mini skirts but I would blind people with my body rn. Do you draw little hearts and stuff with eyeliner next to your eyes? Nah. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever lost? Good question, idk. Has your mom ever lied to you? Yeah. Do you have a deep voice? It's definitely deep for a girl, but it's not like, manly. When’s the last time someone made breakfast for you? I guess the last time I was out for breakfast? Idr. When someone knocks on the door, who do you think it is? A mailman/woman. No one else comes here unexpectedly. Has anyone ever licked your foot? UM NO Do you play games with boys/girls, like "hard to get"? I never did and never will. I'm definitely not easy, but I don't play games. Oh wait, unless we're already a serious couple and I'm sexually being a tease. Hobby. When’s the last time someone told you they were in love with you? Some time back. Is there a Sonic where you live? mmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM- Do you smile with your teeth? Usually. What do you like on your pizza? Pepperoni, jalapenos, sausage... stuff like that. I'm WEAK for meat lovers pizza sobs heavily in wanna-be vegetarian Do you know anyone who lives in Newfoundland? No. How ‘bout Alberta? No. Anyone in Canada at all? Yeah, a friend's ex. She's cool. If you could trade houses with a friend, who would it be? I wouldn't damn anyone with this house, lol. I mean it's not bad, it just has its issues. Are you a good person to come to for advice? It depends on the subject we're talkin' here. Do you sleep naked? No. I'd feel so vulnerable. Favorite place you've been: Through the NC mountains. Which of your Facebook friends lives closest to you? UHHHHHHHHH how do I not know this?? When was the last time you cried? Idr, actually. Who took your profile pic? Where? What’s your favorite season? Autumn. What was the last book you read? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. Fucking read it. Are you a good influence? This also depends on the area of focus. Does pineapple belong on pizza? NO. Sweet and savory do noooot mix in my world.

[bluerosesburnblue]

Bless that post. I love the aro/ace headcanon, but I also love all mc/charlie shippers. Basically, I'm very very Pro-Ship and like... I've seen the people who headcanon aro/ace charlie get really hostile and weirdly aggressive over it. I'm pretty sure one person even deactivated their account because they dared to call out the harrasment and were in turn harrassed themselves. Fandom is supposed to be fun and shipping should never be about activism like some ppl are trying to do and it boggles me

Thank you. Given the extremes people go to on this site, it’s nice to see someone else who agrees with me about keeping these things measured and respectful

Honestly, my breaking point the other night was that I happened to see an anon on one of the really popular blogs in the fandom. All they said was that they were a fan of the ace headcanon, but they saw a lot of the negativity in the tag in regards to the Charlie/MC ship and were worried that if they started posting their stuff regarding it that they’d get backlash or get seen as insensitive. The whole thing looked like someone who was very anxious asking someone they respected if they thought it would be appropriate. They probably trusted that blog to be mature and give them some reassurance

The response they got was basically (I’m paraphrasing here) “The ace ‘headcanon’ is undeniably canon, you can still post your thing but just know that it’s not canon and nobody has to like the fact that you posted it. I don’t know what hate you’re seeing, but I haven’t seen it and I don’t think it exists.” Which is, like… denying that anon’s experience and brushing off their fears is just a shitty thing to do to someone who was obviously nervous and looking for reassurance. And also completely wrong. Just because you can read that interpretation into a canon line doesn’t mean that your interpretation is completely canonical. Dating and romantic or sexual attraction are not the same thing. And it’s bad enough that that response is getting a good amount of notes

But what really pissed me off was a response I saw from someone else on that post. This person immediately accused that anon of intentionally overreacting and fishing for sympathy, crossing the line by asking someone they respected about their opinion of the discourse, and trying to deny asexual people representation. And they had the nerve to go on about how “people you thought were nice are turning out to be shitty people.” And then told that anon to grow up

That is absolutely disgusting behavior. Even if Charlie was canonically aro/ace, it would be going too far. Nobody knows anything about that anon, because they’re a goddamned anon. For all anybody knows, that anon could’ve been a kid or young teen who legitimately wanted to be respectful to the ace/aro community and thought it best to ask someone they respected what their opinion was. This is exactly what I was afraid was going to start up. That the second somebody showed that they didn’t agree with the popular interpretation or, god forbid, admitted that they don’t know enough and wanted another opinion, that they’d get slammed and harassed, with accusations made about their character. A character that we can’t even truly know because this is the internet and it’s easy to read whatever you want into these things. You’re not “educating” anyone, you’re just making them not want to learn

And then that original blog had the gall to tell that anon that they didn’t see any reason why they’d be afraid of harassment. When that aggressive, uncalled for response was a response on their post

The best part? Not only did that anon directly cite a post that had bothered them in a later ask, but they admitted that they were ace and questioning aro and just didn’t see why that line made the interpretation canon

And the person who slammed them? Not aro/ace.

As far as I can tell, that anon never got an apology. The sidequest isn’t even out yet and the fandom has already devolved into people making assumptions and yelling over actual ace people over their own representation and refusing to see a problem with it. In fact, they think they’re in the right because quite a few popular blogs agree with them. That anon could’ve been a kid. Are we really going to scream at people who might be kids over a headcanon?

Not a single, goddamned person made any effort to say that that person was out of line. Not a single person saw a problem with that response. I’d say it was just that one person in the wrong, but I’ve seen equally harsh and aggressive responses by other people out there, too. This isn’t a situation of one person being an asshole (if it was I might’ve just called them out, specifically), they just happened to be the one to tip me over the edge

That’s what’s pissing me off about this situation. If someone is legitimately so scared to post something completely harmless that goes against the popular interpretation, then there is a problem. There is a problem, that shouldn’t be ignored just because you might disagree with that anon’s opinion. People don’t get that scared for no reason. It’s awful and immature to ignore the problem. To pretend it doesn’t exist, or to support the response they got and double down just to make yourself look right

People are really getting this awful over a side character in a mobile game. Just back up and really look at that. A side character. In a mobile game.

Some people need to grow up, and it sure ain’t that anon. And I hope that if that anon ever sees this, they know that they’ve got my support and I’m so sorry that some people think asserting that their headcanon is canon is more important than an actual, living person

As for the “it’s canon do we really have to spell it out for you?” argument, uhhh… YEAH. Not them, specifically, but the source material does. Otherwise it’s not CANON. Canon is reserved for things irrefutably stated in the text not “all possible (or your favorite) ways you could interpret lines in the text.” When it’s widely accepted, that’s fanon. Canon: Charlie states that he doesn’t have time for dating because he’s busy studying dragons. Fanon: Charlie is ace/aro. We also need to destroy this false equivalency that dating and romantic attraction are the same thing. It doesn’t help anybody on either side

And no joke, I read a novel one time and the main character was so obviously ace to me. The whole thing was written from his point of view, and he was always questioning why people found romance to be so important. He wasn’t into any of the girls that flirted with him, he kissed his male best friend and said he didn’t feel any sparks, he avoided romance of all kinds even while questioning his sexuality. Well, come the end of the book, he realizes that he was gay and in denial and VERY in love with his best friend. It was adorable when they got together

But at the same time, there was way more evidence to suggest that that character was ace than there is for Charlie, and yet canonically he was gay despite that. Sexuality is something very complex and personal and the discovery of it no less so, so yes, absolutely, I think it needs to be stated in some way to be canon. Things can’t just be implied to be considered canon. Your assumptions may very easily be wrong, or not what the author intended. And even things that the author intended can be considered non-canon. Death of the Author is a real thing, after all. If it’s not stated in the text, it’s not canonical

If Charlie had said “I’m not interested in romance and don’t know if I ever will be” or something similar, then yes I’d say they had a basis for their argument. But that’s not what he said. Charlie says… basically what I would have if someone had flirted with me in high school. My suspicion is that something in JC’s contract meant that they weren’t allowed to make Bill, Tonks, or Charlie romance options, so they just reworded JK’s old interview when writing his dialogue to be more relevant to the quest material

And people using that interview as “proof” is especially funny to me since she only said that after denying the possibility that he could be gay because Dumbledore already was. You’re all really expecting this woman whose reaction to being asked if a character being homosexual was a possible interpretation was “Uh, no, we already have one of those,” to go around and confirm him to belong to an even less represented group? And do it tastefully? And then have half of these people who take that as canon also state that they don’t generally consider things that JK reveals outside of the source to matter?

Christ, people, learn the difference between canon, fanon, and Word of God. And then stop ignoring or harassing people for rightly calling out that you’re misusing the terms

[takemealivelh]

“Can we talk?”

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 8 | Part 9

Summary: Tension rises and explodes, unlikely

Word Count: 1.9k

Credits to @cal-pal-cuddles and @letsfuckndance and my friend who doesn't have tumblr bc they helped me edit this and I LOVE EM SO SO MUCH

It was official; my friendship with the 5SOS boys had been ruined.

I tried talking to them after the party, the days after that. I tried having a conversation with Ashton, a cigarette break with Calum, a laughing fit with Michael... I still couldn't look at him in the eyes. The pace of the shows sped up again. They were all local which, thankfully, meant less travelling during the awards season that had finally laid upon our shoulders. It meant I didn't have to share my everyday with the band, I could go home after rehearsals and hang out with the friends I hadn't seen since we all came back from tour. 5SOS didn't fire me, but they weren't hanging out with me anymore either, and I'd tried.

"I'm not gonna pretend I'm not mad at you," Ashton looked at me from the other side of the rehearsal room with a bottle of water between his hands. I disconnected the XLR cables from the patch panel as he spoke, my fingers trembling. I was nervous all the time, I couldn't help it. "But I thought you should know we've all been talking, alright? We want you to do our sound for the award shows."

It felt like a warm, red, embarrassing, proud heat was rising from the middle of my chest, spreading itself throughout my body, "Okay," I muttered. Ashton took a sip from his water and stood up with a sigh, I could tell he hated this whole thing as much as I did.

“We’re heading out now, we-” Luke’s voice came from the side of the room and when I turned my head I saw he wasn’t alone. “Hi,” he acknowledged me with a nod and awkwardly brought the girl closer to his waist, “this... this is Erin, I... I don’t think you’ve met each other?” The stutter in his voice was obvious, and I think she'd noticed. The girl smiled at me and waved shyly, I introduced myself from the uncomfortable crouched position I was in. While Ashton smiled at her and said something to make her laugh, Luke slipped out from the embrace and went to grab his jacket from a chair that was about an arm’s length from me. "We're going out for lunch but we'll be back in two or three hours."

I looked up at him as he spoke, not daring to move, still holding around 6 cables in my hands. His eyes laid on mine and held them for longer than a second. I could feel my palms getting sweaty, my throat closing. “Nice to meet you,” my voice broke when I turned my attention to the girl. She seemed nice, she had this radiant energy around her. I hated it.

Erin looked like the kind of girl I would've been good friends with in another life. She wore jeans and a PJ Harvey t-shirt and I thought she was so cool. It would’ve been so much easier if Luke had shown up with a bratty drama queen, someone who pulled his jacket every two seconds, demanding attention.

Seeing them together was hard, watching them have fun around each other was harder, because it was a constant reminder that I had that with Luke and now I didn't because I was the one afraid of being in a relationship. He had all the right to move on, be happy, find another girl who could give him what I couldn't. It didn't minimize the pain, though. The ‘incident’ had been fairly recent. Fuck, it hadn't gone even two full weeks when he had already started sharing flirty touches with her. Another two weeks and we got to see her more often, she would show up to rehearsals after work. Hair up in a ponytail, apron stained with small fingerprints, Erin would sit next to me and smile at Luke as the band went over the songs again and again for the performances. She would tell me about parent-teacher meetings in the breaks, and I would try to explain to her what an audio interface does.

"We're gonna go now," Luke would throw an arm around her and bring her closer to his body when the rehearsals came to an end, "see ya."

“He seems to be moving on fast,” I heard Calum say as they unplugged their instruments. “I thought he’d be still moping because… you know...”

Michael set his guitar down and pulled out his phone from his pocket, “seems fast but, I don’t know, man... Like, I mean, Erin seems nice.”

“It’s weird that she’s around a lot, though.”

“Yeah, but you know Luke. He can’t really stand loneliness, can he?”

I sank on the chair behind the mixer and cut the microphones, not wanting to hear any more.

Days seemed to be passing faster, Erin seemed to be around a lot more. Every time Luke kissed her lips, grabbed her by the waist and she threw her head back in laughter... every time she laid her head on his shoulder... it hurt.

"Maybe he's just trying to make you jealous."

"Why would he do that? He knows it won't work."

"Hasn't it?"

"He looks happy."

"Then maybe you should move on."

My friends were right, they didn't even know Luke but it seemed logical.

Keeping my interaction with the 5SOS boys to a minimum, I only spoke up when necessary, making a few suggestions that I thought could make the performances stand out. They weren’t as upset as they used to be, but we still hadn’t gone back to normal. "Can you brighten up the distortion in the mix, please?" Michael called out through the stage to where I was standing, I gave him a thumb up and adjusted the equalizer once again. It was around 4 pm when our sound check finished. Luke and Erin's laughter caught my ears as they walked past me to the backstage area.

"Listen, I like the mix but I need the kick a little louder in my..."

"Can we talk?"

Calum and I looked up from the several Post-Its we had scattered around the table, Luke was staring at us from the other side of the dressing room. It took me a moment to recognize which one of us he was talking to, but Calum knew right away. He patted my knee, which he hadn't done in a while, and left in silence.

"Hi," I put the pen down and stood up awkwardly, not really knowing what to do with my body. My hands found comfort inside the pockets of my jacket, "what do you need to talk about?" My words were soft and hesitant, I didn't know what to expect.

Luke remained quiet for what it seemed the longest time, he started a few sentences but kept cutting himself off. He seemed nervous. "I- yeah, what I..." he scratched the bridge of his nose with his thumb. It was surreal to think that now we had to be careful about our next words instead of just blurting out the first thing that came into our minds. I desperately wanted to go back to those days, I didn’t like this new dynamic between us. It didn’t feel natural.

"Is it about the show?"

"No," he shook his head. We heard a loud thud coming from the direction of the stage and the vocalist of the band started testing the microphone. I kept my body very still, uncertain of what could happen if I asked another question, if I tilted my head in annoyance... If Luke and I were having this conversation during another time, I would've rolled my eyes at him, "get to the point, Hemmings. You've been babbling for an hour now."

All I could do now was wait.

I watched Luke’s chest move with a sigh, he peeked his head out of the door and then closed it, giving us the privacy we hadn't shared since the party at Ashton's place. The familiar smell of his cologne hit my nose when he took a few steps closer towards me, his messy curls falling on his face as he debated his next words. It astounded me how easily I could read him. This whole anticipation was making me uncomfortable. "No, it's not about the show,” he said. "This is weird," a small laugh left his lips and he avoided my eyes, my brows scrunched in confusion. "No, okay, this was a bad idea. I'm gonna go now."

He turned in his heels and walked back to the door.

Fuck, Luke.

The awkwardness, the annoyance, the anger, all the words I'd been choking down for days now had seemed to surface in a matter of seconds. "Luke, oh my god, are you serious?" My face felt hot and my jaw felt tense. I twisted my fingers inside the jacket. He turned to me, eyes wide, lips parted. "I know I fucked up but these past weeks all I've ever done is to try to give you space. It's been like walking on fucking eggshells because no, wow everyone is so worried about you. Luke is so sensitive we need to protect him at all costs," I relied on my histrionic tendencies to get my point across, as I usually did. By now, all the words cascaded out of me, pouring relentlessly. There was no holding them back. Luke knew that stage of me well, maybe that's why he didn't try to interrupt me.

"The boys are mad at me, they won't talk to me, they won't even listen to what I have to say. I get it, alright? I understand that they're way closer to you, I get that. But seriously? It's been like a warzone. Always thinking of strategies, tactics. I can't say this to you, I can't look at you like this, god forbid I accidentally run into you. Wow, no. What happens if I need to tell you to turn the fucking overdrive down? All of you give me a look and I'm sick of it, Luke. I can't keep trying to protect your feelings, okay?" His gaze dropped to the floor, I knew I had hit a delicate nerve. "You knew- you know how hard I've been working, you know I care about the shows, but now I'm afraid all the time because if I say the wrong word you're pouting and you know what? I don't deserve that shit. It's not like your poor broken heart is lonely, you have Erin." Luke's attention seemed to spark up, but I didn't like the bitter taste her name left on my mouth. His eyes were curious and he took a few steps closer to me, as if he was scrutinizing me.

"She's around all the time and quite frankly that's really douchy of you, Luke. A month ago you were all over me, saying we could be great together. What now? I said no and you went home, opened a Tinder account and swiped right for the first girl you saw? Real mature. Does she know? Does she know you're using her as a rebound? ‘Cos we all know that's what she is, isn't she?"

I was out of breath, drowning these emotions for weeks had been exhausting, letting it all out was even more draining. Luke's eyes were still fixated on mine, but I couldn’t read them. His silence nearly engulfed every other sound in the room, the footsteps on the other side of the door, the sound check that was going onstage, my speeding heartbeat ringing in my ears… For the first time, I wasn’t able to know what was going through his mind, it both terrified and relieved me. I didn't move, my jaw slightly trembled when his body got even closer to mine. His hand reached for my chin, and his lips crashed into mine.

TAG LIST:

@brown-eyedshell @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @myloverboyash @hopeless-renassianceluke @dukesnumber1  @rip-lukes-balsamic @letsfuckndance @cal-pal-cuddles

I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE I FORGOT THE NAME OF THE BLOG OF THE ONE PERSON WHO SENT ME AN ASK TELLING ME THEY WANTED TO BE IN THE TAG LIST

BRO I HAVE PROBLEMS

[scummy-writes]

Stupid and Sappy post

*waves hands* It’s time for Scum to say bye to MM under the cut! (This is very stupid jhfbjhf)

I can already feel people rolling their eyes at me for this, especially folks who keep like, vague tweeting me and shit over my opinions about this game, but guess what bitch is gonna write this anyway! Me! sfbjhdf

(This post is going to be incoherent at places, like as I am as a person, but also! I talk about heavy subjects like suic*de, so if that gets to you, please don’t read!)

To start it off seriously: even though recently I’ve had a lot of issues over this company with their lack of warning over heavy triggering content, and their very blatantly bad customer service, I still love the original game a lot. Not in the “Oh this plot is beautiful” way, but like. This game helped me at a time when I was extremely lonely, and was dealing with a lot of heavy shit at home.

If you guys have followed me since the beginning, you know know I started this blog just a few months after downloading this game. Like riiight at the beginning of Jan 2017, I made my first post on here- this blog is two years old! I started out as a HC blog and stayed that way for a while, and I think after I hit 1k followers I finally brought up the fact that I had an AO3 account- and folks realized I had started writing fics in oct 2016 for this game! So, a lot of people know that, wow! This game inspired me a lot creatively and helped me hone my writing skills a bit more after a while not being in a writing class! (And yes, my early fics I absolutely refuse to look at because I hate how I used to write JHBJSBFS).

What a lot of folks don’t know, is that at the very beginning of august, I had gotten out of a ward after coming very close to doing something pretty bad to myself. 

Granted, I didn’t have to stay in there long- I had put myself in there so I could also leave whenever I wanted (as long as the docs deemed me safe to leave as well) but I kept myself in there for a good bit so I could do a lot of critical thinking and not stress so much about my job at the time.

Afterwards, I got out, while I wasn’t still at That Point, I was still struggling pretty bad mentally. Home life was rough, my mom was battling with a terrible boyfriend at the time that lived with us, and I was still dipping back into some pretty bad thoughts.

Then, a friend I’ve had for a while now, introduced me to this game! And, well, I already covered that it helped me a lot in the creative process, but it also helped distract me a shitton from the bad home life I had.

A lot of people probably also remember that a month after having this blog up and running, my mom tried killing herself.

Everything is still really vivid in my memory about that- because like. So many things could have gone wrong. My little brother could have fallen asleep earlier before he found her, I could have picked up that extra hour for my shift at work, this, that- but long story short she’s still alive.

But it was a terrible year for me. Probably, arguably, all of 2017 was the worst year I’ve had in my life so far. So many things happened with my mother, she was mentally unstable, and after a lot of threats against me I even had to move out until she was more stable and, you know, not threatening to hurt me/break my shit.

And, a lot of you know, while I was constantly dealing with my own mother threatening me and trying to disown me, I was also being harassed on a constant basis over juz*n bullshit. Words cannot describe how laughably stupid that whole situation was, but it was completely, utterly, ridiculous bullshit. 

Add that onto me dealing with the IRL struggles with my mom, some of which are somewhat starting to repeat even now- to the point where I’m going to be moving out again soon- well. Shit! It sucked, lol. It sucked a lot, and there were many times where I wish I was back in the hospital or worse.

But, and yes I’m gonna say exactly what yall are expecting, again- this game helped me out a lot. I constantly felt alone and worthless- my own mother was abandoning me- and these voiced sprites made me feel less alone. Gave me the attention I wish I had IRL.

And, well, a lot of my 2017 year is easy to summarize. Constantly harassed, bullied, and dealing with stupid fandom wank. But, also, filled with wonderful messages and support from you guys. 

I’ve preached before how follower counts are ridiculous to base your self worth on- and yes I still agree to that, please don’t base your self worth on follower counts. Or anyone’s! - but some of you have literally followed me since the beginning, or for a Very Long Time, if not. I may be terrible with names, but I still recognize you guys and all the kind words you’ve sent me, and I hope you guys know you helped just as much as MM was helping me.

I’m getting incoherent, but a lot of what I’m trying to say is that, this game has helped me out a shitton. That’s probably why I get so vocal about issues concerning the company- not out of a sense of ‘they owe me’ (they owe me absolutely fucking nothing), but just. It sucks seeing a game that used to be so wonderful in its prime, go so fucking downhill so fast. Customer service used to be wonderful, I remember accidentally putting down my old address for the VIP package and messaging them right after I ordered explaining I needed a change of address, and a Live Person getting back to me within the hour and fixing the issue.

Comparing that with, you know, the Four Fucking Months it took to speak to Someone Successfully about the saeran daki bullshit- then you know...Well, yeah you guys know, I’ve went off about it before.

Now it’s apparent that they’re more money hungry, with how you had to pay 900+ hgs with the recent AE stuff with V, and...hoo boy, I’m sure everyones heard enough at this point.

So, backtracking a bit because I’m chugging coffee and all incoherent, this game has brought in a lot of positives in my life. You guys, healthier distractions than what I used to do to myself, friends, creative outlets being brought back to life again. I think thats why I get so upset at the fandom, at people snapping at me for not liking some of the recent things cheritz has done- people fucking vaguetweeting me, for fucks sake, and getting so personally angry at me over how I got upset at Cheritz. Like, I’m not shitting yall, I literally lost friendships  over my opinions on cheritz.

And it sucks! Not gonna lie, like it sucks because it’s so fucking stupid. But then you take a look into the fandom- with the ongoing and constant harassment over contributors in charity zines, constant harassment over people if they like a character you don’t or vice versa, the harassment against artists concerning repostings or, god forbid, them drawing a ship you dislike- and it’s just. 

How did a game, focusing on the message of how kindness and patience can help out in so many ways, create this rabid fucking fandom?

Even content creators fight against each other. I cannot explain the bullshit I’ve seen over people being mad that they’re not on someones personal “recommended blogs to follow!” lists, over people going out of their way to harass folks because they didn’t make it on a zine, over people trying to use a follow count over why they’re much better than so and so- It’s just...Bad. All of it.

And, well. Combine Cheritz rapidly making their own game worse, in ways we all have heard about me (or others) complain about, and this terrible fandom, I think that perfectly explains why I’m uninstalling and pretty much being done with the fandom once the other stuff I’m involved in finishes.

This game brought a lot of happiness for me, and even with my recent grievances with this game, it (laughably) hurts to uninstall it. I know its ridiculous, god trusT ME i know, but it still sucks saying goodbye to something I still love, but can’t stand being around anymore. At this point, the fandom feels like an abusive ex-friend/whatever and the game used to be what good the ex had left. And now that thats getting worse...orz

I’ll always treasure the doors this game opened up for me- how it allowed me to meet amazing people, some of which I can happily say are my friends, and how it helped me become creative again, how I’ve been able to be on zines to help charities, and how I’ve been blessed to hear my writing impact people in positives ways- but here’s my sappy goodbye while I try to scrapbook the positive memories and bury the negative ones in upcoming therapy session.

If you read this far- bless yoooooou I know I sound like the damn. Crazy image of the dude with papers pinned to the wall, but I hope I made some sort of sense. Thank you!