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brawltogethernow · 4 years

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So, I don't think I've ever asked you this... what IS the whole point of the Spider-Sense? It really seems like something that only exists for writers to ignore or work around when they want to inject Legit Tension into a story.

I’ve thought about this power so much, but never with an eye to defend its right to exist, so I needed to think about this. The results could be more concise.

Ironically, given the question, I have to say its main purpose is to ramp up tension. But it’s also a highly variable multitool that a skilled creative team can use for...pretty much anything. It does everything the writer wants it to, while for its wielder always falls just short of doing enough.

I went looking through my photos for a really generic, classic-looking example to use as an image to head this topic, but then I ran into the time Peter absolutely did not reimburse this man for his stolen McDonald’s, so have that instead.

A Scare Chord, But You Can Draw It

That one post that says the spider-sense is just super-anxiety isn’t, like, wrong. It’s a very anxious, dramatic storytelling tool originally designed for a very anxious, dramatic protagonist. I find it speaks to the overall tone of the franchise that some characters are functionally psychics, but with a psychic ability that only points out problems.

Spidey sense pinging? There’s danger, be stressed! Broken? Now the lead won’t even KNOW when there’s a problem, scary! Single character is immune to it? That’s an invisible knife in the dark oh my god what the fuck what the fU--

Like its counterpart in garden variety anxiety, the only time the spider-sense reduces tension is in the middle of a crisis. But in the wish fulfillmenty way that you want in an adventure story to justify exaggerated action sequences, the same way enhanced strength or durability does. Also like those, it would theoretically make someone much safer to have it, but it exists in the story to let your character navigate into and weather more dangerous situations.

For its basic role in a story, a danger sense is a snappy way to rile up both the reader and the protagonist that doesn’t offer much information beyond that it’s time to sit smart because shit is about to go down.

Spidey comic canon is all over the board in quality and genre, and it started needing to subvert its formulas before the creators got a handle on what those formulas even were, and basically no one has read anything approaching most of it at this point, so for consistent examples of a really bare bones use of this power in storytelling, I’d point to the property that’s done the best job yet of boiling down the mechanics of Spider-Man to their absolute most basic essentials for adaptation to a compelling monster of the week TV series.

Or as you probably know it, Danny Phantom. DON’T BOO, I’M RIGHT.

DP is Spider-Man with about 2/3 of the serial numbers filed off and no death (ironically), and Danny’s ghost sense is the most proof in the formula example of what the spidey sense is for: It’s a big sign held up for the viewer that says, “Something is wrong! Pay attention!” Effectively a visual scare chord. It’s about That Drama. And it works, which won it a consistent place in the show’s formula. We’re talking several times an episode here.

So why does it work?

It’s a little counterintuitive, but it’s strong storytelling to tell your audience that something bad is going to happen before it does. A vague, punchy spoiler transforms the ignorant calm before a conflict into a tense moment of anticipation. ...And it makes sure people don’t fail to absorb the beginning of said conflict because they weren’t prepared to shift gears when the scene did. Shock is a valuable tool, too, but treating it like a staple is how you burn out your audience instead of keeping them engaged. Not to go after an easy target, but you need to know how to manage your audience’s alarm if you don’t want to end up like Game of Thrones.

The limits of the spider-sense also keep you on your toes when handled by a smart writer. It tells Peter (everyone’s is a little different, so I’m going to cite the og) about threats to his person, but it doesn’t elaborate with any details when it’s not already obvious why, what kind, and from what. And it doesn’t warn him about anything else-- Which is a pretty critical gap when you zoom out and look at his hero career’s successes and failures and conclude that it’s definitely why he’s lived as long as he has acting the way he does, but was useless as he failed to save a string of people he’d have much rather had live on than him.

(Any long-running superhero mythos has these incidents, but with Peter they’re important to the core themes.)

And since this power is by plot for plot (or because it’s roughly agreed it only really blares about threats that check at least two boxes of being major, immediate, or physical), it always kicks in enough to register when the danger is bearing down...when it’s too late to actually do anything about it if “anything” is a more complex action than “dodge”.

Really? Not until the elevator doors started to open?

That Distinctive, Crunchy Spider Flavor

The spider-sense and its little pen squiggles go hand in hand with wallcrawling (and its unique and instantly identifiable associated body language) to make the Spider-Person powerset enduringly iconic and elevate characters with it from being generic mid-level super-bricks. Visually, but also in how it shapes the story.

I said it can share a narrative role with super strength. But when you end a fight and go home, super strength continues to make your character feel powerful, probably safer than they’d be otherwise, maybe dangerous.

The spider-sense just keeps blaring, “Something’s wrong! Something’s wrong! God, why aren’t you doing something about this!?”

Pretty morose thing to live with, for a safety net! Kind of a double edged sword you have there! Could be constantly being hyperattuned to problems would prime you for a negative outlook on life. Kind of seems like a power that would make it impossible for a moral person to take a day off, leading them into a beleaguered and resentful yet dutiful attitude about the whole superhero gig! Might build up to some of the core traits of this mythos, maybe! Might lead to a lot of fifteen minute retirement stories, or something. Might even be a built in ‘great responsibility’ alarm that gets you a main character who as a rule is not going to stop fighting until he physically cannot fight anymore.

Certainly not apropos of anything, just throwing this short lived barely-a-joke tagline up for fun.

One of my personal favorite things about stories with superpowers is keeping in mind how they cause the people who have them to act in unusual ways outside of fights, so when you tell me that these people have an entire extra sense that tells them when the gas in their house is leaking through a barely useful hot/cold warning system that never turns off, I’m like, eyes emojis, popcorn out, notebook open, listening intently, spectacles on, the whole deal.

It also contributes to Peter Parker’s personality in a way I really enjoy: It allows him to act like an irrational maniac. When you know exactly when a situation becomes dangerous and how much, normal levels of caution go out the window and absolutely nothing you do makes sense from an exterior standpoint anymore. That’s the good shit. I would like to see more exploration of how the non-Parker characters experiencing the world in this incredibly altered way bounce in response.

It’s also one of many tools in this franchise hauling the reader into relating more closely with the main character. The backbone of classic Spidey is probably being in on secrets only Peter and the reader know which completely reframe how one views the situation on the page. It’s just a big irony mine for the whole first decade. A convenient way to inform the reader and the lead that something is bad news that’s not perceivable to any other characters is youth-with-a-big-exciting-secret catnip.

Another point for tension, there, in that being aware of danger is not synonymous with being able to act on it. If there’s no visible reason for you to be acting strange, well...you’re just going to have to sit tight and sweat, aren’t you? Some gratuitous head wiggles never hurt when setting up that type of conflict.

Have I mentioned that they look cool? Simultaneously punchy and distinctive, with a respectable amount of leeway for artists to get creative with and still coming up with something easily recognizable? And pretty easy to intuit the meaning of even without the long-winded explanations common in the days when people wrote comics with the intent that someone could come in cold on any random issue and follow along okay, I think, although the mechanic has been deeply ingrained in popular culture for so long that I can’t really say for sure.

It was also useful back in the day when no artists drew the eyes on the Spider-Man mask as emoting and were conveying the lead’s expressions entirely through body language and panel composition. If you wiggle enough squiggles, you don’t need eyebrows.

Take This Handwave and Never Ask Me a Logistical Question Again

This ability patches plot holes faster than people can pick them open AND it can act as an excuse to get any plot rolling you can think of if paired with one meddling protagonist who doesn’t know how to mind their own business. Buy it now for only $19.99 (in four installments; that’s four installments of $19.99).

Why can a teenager win a six on one fight against other superhumans? Well, the spider-sense is the ultimate edge in combat, duh.

Why can Peter websling? Why doesn’t everyone websling? Well, the spider-sense is keeping him from eating flagpole when he violently flings himself across New York in a way neither man nor spider was ever meant to move.

How are we supposed to get him involved with the plot this week???? Well, that crate FELT dangerous, so he’s going to investigate it. Oh, dip, it was full of guns and radioactive snakes! Probably shouldn’t have opened that!

Yeah, okay, but why isn’t it fixing everything, then? Isn’t it supposed to be why Peter has never accidentally unmasked in front of somebody? ('Nother entry for this section, take a shot.) That’s crazy sensitive! How does he still have any problems!? Is everything bad that’s ever happened to characters with this powerset bad writing!? --Listen, I think as people with uncanny senses that can tell us whether we are in danger with accuracy that varies from incredible to approximate (I am talking about the five senses that most people have), we should all know better than to underestimate our ability to tune them out or interpret them wrong and fuck ourselves up anyway. I honestly find this part completely realistic.

*SLAPS ROOF OF SPIDER-SENSE* YOU CAN FIT SO MANY STORIES IN THIS THING

The spider-sense is a clean branch into...whatever. There is the exact right balance of structure and wishy-washiness to build off of. A sample selection of whatevers that have been built:

It’s sci-fi and spy gadgets when Peter builds technology that can interface with it.

It’s quasi-mystical when Kaine and Annie-May get stronger versions of it that give them literal psychic visions, or when you want to get mythological and start talking about all the spider-characters being part of a grand web of fate.

Kaine loses his and it becomes symbolic of a future newly unbound by constraints, entangled thematically with the improved physical health he picked up at the same time -- a loss presented as a gain.

Peter loses his and almost dies 782 times in one afternoon because that didn’t make the people he provoked when he had it stop trying to kill him, and also because he isn’t about to start “””taking the subway’’””’ “‘’“”to work”””’’” like some kind of loser who doesn’t get a heads up when he’s about to hit a pigeon at 50mph.

Peter’s starts tuning into his wife’s anxiety and it’s a tool in a relationship study.

It starts pinging whenever Peter’s near his boss who’s secretly been replaced by a shapeshifter and he IGNORES IT because his boss is enough of an asshole that that doesn’t strike him as weird; now it’s a comedy/irony tool.

Into the Spider-Verse made it this beautiful poetic thing connecting all the spider-heroes in the multiverse and stacked up a story on it about instant connection, loss, and incredibly unlikely strangers becoming a found family. It was also aesthetic as FUCK. Remember the scene where Miles just hears barely intelligible whispering that’s all lines people say later in the film and then his own voice very clearly says “look out” and then the room explodes?? Fuck!!!!

Venom becomes immune to it after hitchhiking to Earth in Peter’s bone juice and it makes him a unique threat while telling a more-homoerotic-than-I-assume-was-originally-intended story about violation and how close relationships can be dangerous when they go sour.

It doesn’t work on people you trust for maximum soap opera energy. Love the innate tragedy of this feature coming up.

IN CONCLUSION I don’t have much patience for writers who don’t take advantage of it, never mind feel they need to write around it.

#spiderman #peter parker #spiderverse #spidey #marvel #danny phantom #one day you'll see what i'm doing with it in the project i'm collabing on w/ my brother and then you'll all be sorry and hopefully impresse #mirrorfalls #asks answered #essays

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mxwhore · 4 years

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for burnout i just draw the most garbage horrible creature i can. the more fucked up the better. oh ur eyes look vaguely proportionate? let’s fix that. make the arms l o n g e r. This line is straight? why not make it crunchy. if i saw this in my living room at three am would i cry? no? well let’s change that. oh this image has good quality? what if i shrank it to pixel art size then blew it back up. it’s like art but evil. you can do it and know it’s bad but do it on purpose!!!! or i just draw some dumb shit like kool aid man in sunglasses. either one.

OH MY GOD, I LOVE THIS PIECE OF ADVICE SO MUCH I DECIDED TO TAKE IT IMMEDIATELY.

Youre right anon, i feel so much better now.

#life changing <3 #reference #tessas txt

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xenahari · 4 years

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SCM Gods as Desserts

1. Leon

Anything that’s slathered in either dulce de leche or caramel. Rich, thick and oozing with quality - only the best for him, after all. Maybe even top it with some gold leaf.

2. Zyglavis

Black Forest Gâteau. Looks dark, mature and tempting on the outside but the creamy filling and sweet cherries add an unexpected streak of sweetness that he’d only allow you to see.

3. Teorus

Funfetti Birthday Cake - specifically angel food. Light, soft and dotted with adorable sprinkles everywhere. The angel food softness matches with that angel persona he always puts on, too ^.^

4. Tauxolouve

Tiramisu. Only for the most refined tastebuds. Lots of layers. Maybe even soaked in coffee liquor for that extra element of richness. Suave and sexy, just like him.

5. Karno

Spiced Carrot Cake. The type that you never get sick of. Moist and full of cinnamon and nutmeg that remind you of warmth and home. May be simple, but damn is it tasty. just like him

6. Dui

Gingerbread Cookies. Cute, and can be either soft or crunchy. Great for nibbling on. Spiced just enough to remind you of warmth, and cuddling by the fire.

7. Ichthys

Freakshakes. Rainbow coloured, full of fun (and sugar) and one of a kind. You know that eating a freakshake spells all kinds of trouble, but you do it anyway because why not? yolo.

8. Scorpio

Molten Lava Cake. Looks dark on the outside, but cut it open and you’ll be left with a gooey, soft mess that you can’t help but enjoy. To be honest he could be a dorayaki too, but he does have a tough exterior (at first anyway) so maybe not.

9. Aigonorus

Japanese Soufflé Pancakes. Only the softest, fluffiest, most adorable things you could eat. He could definitely be a dorayaki too, but the pancakes are way fluffier. Of course, a thick drizzle of honey or maple syrup and a last dusting of powdered sugar is an essential - he’s so soft!

10. Huedhaut

Coffee & Walnut Cake. Layers. Rich, but soft, and full of flavour. Fairly refined. Definitely something I could see him ordering in a coffee shop, too. Maybe even a Battenberg?

11. Partheno

Pink Champagne Truffles. Only the best for Partheno too. Beautiful, decadent and expensive. Very high quality. Surprisingly classy considering how much of a pervert he is.

12. Krioff

Mint Chocolate Chip Cheesecake/Ice Cream. Refreshing, and amazing comfort food. Sweet, but not too much, and creamy. The kind you feast on after a bad day and it never fails to make you feel better.

#scm #star crossed myth #scm leon #scm zyglavis #scm teorus #scm tauxolouve #scm karno #scm dui #scm ichthys #scm scorpio #scm aigonorus #scm huedhaut #scm partheno #scm krioff #desserts #voltage inc

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italianfish · 5 years

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Here’s some things that I’ve overheard recently

- Michael Jackson part 1, before he came around

- That’s a sexy gauge

- We have cones in our eyes??? *Turns to friend* Show me your eyes.

- What’s ROYGBIV? Is that a person?

- I put the jewish inside of him

- The air in my house is polluted with sleeping pills

- One day someone will react to my gay jokes

- One day someone brought a tub of ice cream out of their backpack in the middle of class

- Hey Francis (Talking to a blow up alien)

- Why do you like assholes

- Aladdin doesn’t have nipples

- Support your own god damn neck!

- I saw my friend in the bathroom and he gave me orange juice

- FORM THE EQUATOR!!!

- Yes, indeed my good sir

- Sharing your wealth is the way to become poor

- I’m sorry I don’t have calcium in my body

- Why the pancreas?!

- I watched this show and these characters exploded and it was my favorite show

- Someone is going to lose a pancreas

- A: Don’t lose your pancreas B: I’ll try to hold onto it

- She knew how to multiply! And I was like “You’re only three!”

- Come on Moser, hitting the nut won’t do anything

- I work with a prostitute

- I love crunchy pancakes

- You are a big neon doof

- Look I can spit, I’m cool now

- ‘Ay! Trout!

- In her free time she did her taxes

- Hey! You like Raisin Bran?

- If you get a rooster you’ll be hungry, unless you eat him

- It smells like Hawaii

- If A claims he’s a god and Jesus says he’s the son of god... Does that mean Jesus is A’s son?

- We managed to convince our sub that this was a film and lit class so we watched infinity war all period

- A- So let’s keep the duck B- It’s a vulture...

- Did you just call me fuzzy?

- I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on

- He looks like a punk rock jazz drummer

- A- British! British! B- I HAVE A NAME!

- Stop putting your dog in the oven!

- Did you expect it to be that good of a cactus?

- I relate to Squidward so much

- He was like the dad that left to get cigarettes and never came back

- We’re literally following Marty Mcfly

- My elbows are funky fresh

- A- You shank em’ B- No! That is the exact opposite of a solution!

- Unicorns caused global warming

- A- No balls in class! B- But we’re in health

- The crazy chellos are back

- See! I do have friends!

- It’s a train, a train of love

- A- Why do they keep getting rid of the babies? B- I don’t know, abortion

- You have to earn the bucket hat

- My friend brought in 7 bucket hats

- Hide the forks!

- The turtles tried to cross the road once

- I’m scared of turtles

- So does everyone just carry a sword around in their back pocket?

- When you’re fishing, anyone in a bucket hat has authority

- She has cheese on her hook!

- Are your knee pits moist?

- Why are you molesting me with water

- I was born vaccinated

- I was born to be a little spoon

- Why do I look like a hispanic man

- Can I tickle your knee pits?

- You’re going to get eaten by the ocean

- A- You’re a hot mess B- Hey! At least I’m hot!

- They’ve developed a handshake! Isn’t this a problem?!

- We’re in the OG thirteen colonies

- A- I’m not used to seeing those big grassy structures B- You mean trees?!

- My name is bagged milk

- You only drink bagged milk once, in Canada

- It’s not expensive, you’re just poor

- I forgot I’m a lady

- That’s you after I poop

- I want to be Brazilian

- I figured out what the voice was! They’re playing Bingo

- A- Do “coo coo” B- CAW

- It’s probably in a nice aisle, aisle 9

- So inside the bag there are 3 more bags full of milk

- Mom we got the bagged milk

- He told me I looked like Nicholas Cage

- Her bio says inhale the kale

- I feel like an easy bake oven

- The bags just like, left

- But what about the unicorns

- Look at that potato! That looks free!

- Everyone! Find a piece of metal and lick it

- I’m the toilet man

- Go fetch me grapes

- All girls want to molest this

- He ate a whole pancake out of an Applebee’s dumpster

- Why did he eat turf

- I’m on a mission to find dairy products

- I was going to go to school and pretend to be a witch

- Remember when you put the lotion in my mouth and I drank it?

- We’re playing quarter baseball

- Pretend you’re sleeping

- The ultimate frisbee association

- My mom picked me up from school so I could go to ultimate frisbee practice

- They got a $2000 grant for a barely existing ultimate frisbee team

- She’s ultra mom

- The dodgeball guy called my friend a walrus

- We did a dramatic reading of an adult novel

- He was buying materials to make a whip

- Grate her down like a piece of cheese

- We sat in a circle and named our most Jewish quality

- 4 is the cosmic number

- I hate being a fertile woman

- Excuse me I’m Jewish

- Surprise disco duet

- I shook like 7 tents

- She’s the strings teacher, we keep her in the basement

- Whenever we finished a test and we said “I’m done” he would say “I’m done! You’re finished!” his last name was Done

- I thought the fire hydrant was a turkey

- I asked him if his password was like an anniversary or something and he said “It’s the date of my grandparents death”

- He gives us weekly quantum physics lectures

- Bruh! That looks like a lunchbox!

- No offense but this guy would make out with a floorboard

- You seem like the kind of person to kiss a floorboard

- You sound exactly like my pediatrician

- Lots of poop, no sock

- She’s not doing her work, she’s looking at Peppa pig

- Yo neighbor, I need some sugar

- White moms are really easy to scare

- Even though it’s part of Asia, ITS NOT

- Why was there a hanging waffle?!

- I got complimented on my croissant

- You can sell your liver

- Bernie Sanders reminds me of a muppet

- WHY IS THERE A HELICOPTER IN THE KITCHEN!!!!

- What are you going to do? Hunt squirrels?

- *A bunch of AP students shouting “Linguini”*

- I got bitten by an iguana in Aruba

- We got an actor to join the hammock group chat

- Say goodbye to your ovaries

- I’m half a butt cheek away from death

- Are you one of those people who puts ice cream and pop tarts in a blender

- Yo! You got any shoes I can eat???

- That’s how you segregate your trail mix???

- He has a six pack of ribs

- I’m so done with books about African children

- Do homies kiss

- I’m here for the num nums

- Don’t touch my pizza you savage!!!

- HURRY UP AND MEDITATE

- What are you for Halloween? Jewish?

- Do ducks have tails

- He was the one that broke the constitution

- Oh god now there’s Hitler on my paper

- God given right of ruling... Manifest destiny in China

- Do you shampoo your eyebrows

- This isn’t Bayblade!

- Bob Ross wasn’t an artist, he was an art therapist

- If anyone on the team is a jellyfish, it’s definitely Brandon

- It’s your fault that I’m not going to college!

- I’m having spinach for dinner! I’m so excited!

- I locked him in his toolbox

- Let’s rent a midget for a day and we can throw him against a wall

- I know how to utilize money, but do I know how to utilize it well, that’s another question

- Man, that place needs a Chick-fil-a, and I’m going to make it

- We should have the purge in school one day

- If you’re weird enough, people won’t want to rape you

- Flex seal it with tape

- Oh yeah, I got vinegar all over my sweatshirt

- Don’t say “Have a good day”, because I’m not having a good day

- Well maybe someday you’ll have cancer

- What’s up guys, I’m from Richie’s pizza, and today I’ll be showing you my body count

- An obo sounds like a clarinet with Down syndrome

- I DONT HAVE ANY MARINARA SAUSCE ON ME RIGHT NOW

- WE WILL SMUGGLE OUR KIDS TO AMERICA

- I’m the jolly black giant

- You pissed off a priest

- If we get a lot of money, I can take her boyfriend to prom

- Ted Bundy would share a lot of ideas with you

- They’re doing a milk experiment... But with marinara

- A- That’s not a color! B- But it’s on a crayon!

- Hey what’s up cheese goblin

- I’m letting my toes breathe

- I’m just saying, tinfoil doesn’t taste that bad

- YOURE EATING IT YOU UNGRATEFUL SWINE

- When I was away were you in my house? Because it’s happened before

- How do you say I have scoliosis in Italian?

- I’m gonna give give birth to a duck, right here, right now

- Are you comparing a 3D printed violin to genocide

- I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST BLACK PEOPLE

- Brother from another mother, TELL ME ABOUT THAT

- I’m a vulture, just vulturing

- I’m going on a field trip to the sewage treatment plant on my birthday

- You’re making my vagina angry

- Competitive Just Dance team

- Oh no there’s spaghetti falling out of my pockets!

- (Yoda impression) Take anger out on minorities I must

- I can turn off the lights and you’d still be white

#overheard #i just overheard #conversation #funny #funny conversations #haha #long post

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krizaland · 5 years

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Enter the Zimvoid Chapter 26

First Chapter Previous

Heyo! Chapter 26 is here!

Be warned: There are more spoilers ahead!

The monitor crackled to life to reveal your Zim sitting on the couch with a box of packing peanuts next to him.

It wasn’t long before Your Zim grabbed a packing peanut and popped it into his mouth, causing him to hack and cough for a few seconds.

“He’s the first Zim to choke on one of those styrofoam packing peanut things?” Zib snorted before bursting out into laughter.

“Wait, that’s your thing? Choking on a packing peanut? That’s just stupid.” 2K gave your Zim a confused look.

“Wow and I thought my thing was lame.” Specs muttered as he adjusted his glasses.

“HA! THIS IS WHY BRUTUS IS SUPERIOR! BRUTUS CAN EAT A WHOLE BOX OF THOSE CRUNCHY FOAM THINGYS!” Brutus boasted as he put a hand on his chest.

“Don’t those make you sick?” Palindrome asked.

“NOPE! BRUTUS LIKES THE CRUNCHY FOAM THINGYS!” Brutus confirmed.

“Eh, why am I not surprised?” Palindrome sighed.

Majestzee opened his mouth to speak but all that came out was roaring laughter.

“CEASE YOUR INCESSANT LAUGHTER AT ONCE! So what if I choked on a packing peanut?! I am still the ULTIMATE ZIM! AND YOU SHALL ALL RESPECT MY SUPERIORITY!” Your Zim roared as he threw his arms into the air.

“Never in all my time here have I ever seen a more pathetic thing! This guy truly is the worst Zim I’ve ever seen!” Zib cackled as he wiped away a few tears.

“If my Zim is the worst Zim…Does that make me the worst Dib?” Dib whimpered as he continued to watch the hologram.

“I almost feel bad for this Zim. I mean, what redeeming qualities could a Zim this pathetic possibly have?” Zib smirked as his laughter finally slowed to a stop.

As if on cue, you rushed to Your Zim’s side.

“Oh my god! Zim! Don’t worry! I know what to do!”

And with that you proceeded to give your Zim the Heimlich Maneuver.

POP!

Your Zim managed to cough up the packing peanut.

He let out a sigh of relief as you put him back down.

“Thanks Y/N.”

Zib’s eyes nearly burst through his cracked glasses! Never had he seen such a beautiful Y/N.

“Those soft eyes! That perfect figure! They’re…They’re perfect! They’re the most perfect Y/N I’ve ver seen! Computer! track down this Y/N at once!” Zib commanded as a few globs of drool splattered onto the computer’s monitor.

“SEARCHING FOR THE Y/N….”

WHIRRR

“Y/N LOCATED IN THE ZIMVOID!”

“Wait! What?! The Y/N is here?! I didn’t think they would be able to follow the Irken distress signal. Then again, I guess they probably just wanted to save their precious Zim but still I’m surprised they even managed to get through one of my many Pandora’s Quadrangles. After all, I worked so hard to ensure that no one other than Zims could get here.” Zib rambled as he scratched his head.

“Eh?! That Dib made the portals?!” Your Zim yelped as his eyes widened in shock.

Zib’s rambling became nothing more than muffled mumbles as the gears began to turn deep within your Zim’s mind.

“I understand it all now. All these ridiculous fake Zims…It’s all the other Dib’s fault! He’s perverted the natural order with his disgusting… Dibness. But he can’t fool me! No one can fool me!” Your Zim ranted as a chuckle escaped his throat.

“Shh! Be quiet Foamhead!” Palindrome shushed.

Meanwhile, you were frantically running through hall after hall.

You tried your best to remain unnoticeable but you begun to worry that your pounding footsteps and heavy breathing might give you away.

“I gotta find the dungeon! Think, Y/N! Think! If I were a deranged tyrant, where would I keep my dungeon?” You asked yourself as you continued to wander about.

It wasn’t long before you found your answer.

Standing before you was a large, colorful map of Zib’s castle.

“Oh hey, a map! What luck!” You hummed as you inspected the map, “Let’s see…Dungeon…..Dungeo- There! That looks about right!”

And with that, you trotted off to find your friends!

The rest of the group was on the last few moments of the recording.

“Oh well! I’m not going to question all the details! Looks like I’ll have to put my Dib Virus plan on hold! I’ve got a wedding to plan!” Zib giggled eagerly as more drool dribbled down his shirt.

And just like that, the recording slowed to a stop.

“Huh, well I was expecting something more informative but I guess this works…” Dib muttered as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Yeah, I guess we’re gonna have to make due with what little we’ve got.” Specs added as he adjusted his glasses.

“So what’s the plan?” 2k huffed.

“If only the beautiful Y/N were here. Surely, they would know what to do.” Majestzee sighed as he rested his hand on his cheek.

“Guys! I’m so glad I found you!”

Everyone looked up to find you cheerfully waving at them.

“Y/N! You’re ok!” Specs chirped as he rushed up to greet you.

“Oh beautiful one, I knew you’d come to our rescue!” Majestzee crooned as he clapped his hands.

“Eh?! Y/N?! Is that you?! Is that really-ACK!” Your Zim yelped.

WHOOSH!

Brutus shoved your Zim to the ground as he eagerly ran towards the cell door.

“Y/N!!!!!!!!!!!!”

BASH!!

Brutus was so excited he plowed clean through the bars and scooped you up into his big, burly arms.

“Really?! You could’ve done that the whole time?!” 2k growled as he tugged on his antennas.

“At least Y/N’s safe…” Palindrome sighed as he playfully shook his head.

“YAY! NOW THE WHOLE FAMILY’S HERE!!” GIR squealed as he twirled around a bit.

“Oh, god! I’m so glad you’re all alright.” Tears streamed down your cheeks.

“OF COURSE BRUTUS IS OK, PRETTY Y/N!” Brutus reassured.

“Hey! Y/N it’s ok-” Your Zim began before being cut off.

“What? Don’t tell me you thought that dumb other Dib actually did anything to us! Everyone knows Dibs never succeed in killing Zims!” 2k chuckled as he hopped onto Brutus’s head.

“Excuse me! I wasn’t finished-” Your Zim was cut off yet again.

“Heck, I don’t think there’s anything that could kill a Zim!” Palindrome added with a grin.

“Hello! I’m trying to talk here-” Your Zim grew more and more annoyed by the second.

“Well that’s not entirely true but that’s not the point. The point is, we’re fine, Y/N.” Specs corrected as he activated his spider legs to see you better.

“Is anyone listening to me at all!?” Your Zim snapped as he activated his own spider legs.

“The question we should be asking is: Did other Dib did something to you?” Majestzee added as he squeezed in between Specs and Palindrome.

“EXCUSE ME! I, THE ULTIMATE ZIM, HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TALK TO Y/N FOR QUITE SOMETIME NOW!” Your Zim screeched as he squeezed his way through the crowd.

Majestzee burst into another fit of laughter.

“Yes, yes. I’m a master of comedy! Now can I please speak to Y/N now?!” Your Zim snapped as he put his hands on his hips.

“Oh you can talk to the beautiful Y/N, but I don’t think they’d want anything to do with a Zim who choked on styrofoam!” Majestzee mocked as he wiped away a few tears.

“Majestzee! Don’t be rude! I love my Zim very much thank you!” You countered as you folded your arms.

“I apologize for my disrespectful behavior, beautiful one. I’ve forgotten that your heart is so kind that you love all Zims. Even those who are clearly inferior. That’s one of the many things I love about you. You’re so kind.” Majestzee let out a dreamy sigh.

Your Zim let out a growl as his body shook with rage.

“Are you kidding me?! No Zim is inferior!” You growled as you shot Majestzee a glare.

“I mean he did choke on styrofoam. That’s pretty sad if you ask me.” Palindrome sighed.

“So what if he choked on styrofoam?! That doesn’t make him sad nor pathetic! My Zim is just as awesome as the rest of you!” You chided as you folded your arms.

“Are you sure about that?” 2k whispered as he raised an antenna.

“GRARGH!!!! I’M THE ULTIMATE ZIM! YOU WILL ALL RUE THE DAY YOU’VE INSULTED ME! Except you, Y/N, thank you for sticking up for me. BUT THE REST OF YOU WILL PAY! OH HOW YOU WILL PAY!! Come GIR! Let’s show these fools what the real Zim can do!” Your Zim roared as he stormed off with GIR in tow.

“Zim wait! Come back!”

However, Zim was too upset to hear your pleas. He continued to drag GIR along to begin his rampage.

#Invader zim #Invader zim x reader #Invader Zim comics #Invader Zim dib #Invader Zim spoilers #spoilers #invader zim into the zimvoid

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kendelias · 4 years

Note

OTP ask game for Oliver and Isaac?

skipped number thirteen cos it bummed me out and the last one bc it was to make up your own q!

1. What was their first impression of each other?

oliver was immediately attracted to isaac, and crushed on him for most of their childhood. isaac thought oliver was hot, but an asshole (which isn’t 100% wrong but he thought he was like a bully and boy was he wrong!). plus, he was busy crushing on lydia, so he also viewed him as lydia’s sidekick (which also wasn’t wrong).

2. What is their ship name?

olisaac!

3. Describe their relationship dynamic.

oliver going “BNJFNSKBNELBNKLEN” and isaac smiling, softly, but putting his face in his hands and going “oh my god” nonetheless. dumbasses, empty heads but full hearts.

4. What was their relationship like before they got together?

oliver was quietly pining from afar, isaac was slightly afraid of him (for no good reason).

5. How would they describe each other?

isaac would describe oliver as a dumbass with a great ass. a know-it-all, but in a good way, and extremely caring and loyal. (also lowkey a crackhead)

meanwhile, oliver would describe isaac as gentle, kind, and very, very handsome. also semi-aloof. like isaac wishes not to be known but uh oh! oliver is going to know him!

6. What do they love about each other?

everything, but specifically isaac loves oliver’s brain (intelligence... hot) and his very cute ears (pointy. isaac monsterfucker confirmed.)! oliver loves isaac’s (at times hidden) kind heart and his back!

7. What do they have in common?

crunchy outside gooey inside, ride-or-die loyalty, putting their lives on the line for dumb reasons

8. What are some differences between them?

oliver thinks things through whereas isaac jumps headfirst into danger; oliver is super extroverted whereas isaac is more introverted; oliver is very nosey whereas isaac is like “please can we mind our own business”

9. What made them realize they were in love?

oh great question. i think for oliver it was more of a long-time realization than an abrupt moment, but i think he really acknowledged it to himself when isaac was hospitalized and nearly killed in 3x01. for isaac, it’s legitimately the next episode, after he’s put in the ice bath and there’s a scene for them that’s like. very. important. (it’s kind of spoiler-y and not yet written so im being vague as hell)

10. What are their love languages?

a little bit of everything, but mostly words of affirmation and quality time!

11. Do they get married? Who proposes and how?

they do!!! oliver proposes but only after long and extensive conversations about it; it’s probably a surprise but like. just the two of them in their own home after watching a movie on netflix or something.

12. What would happen if they never met?

bro..... hate to think about it. BUT oliver would probably be very promiscuous (as he kind of was beforehand) and wouldn’t settle down til much later in life. he probably would have stayed with his mother and taken on the duties that were meant to be placed on him which... would be bad! meanwhile, things would have gone pretty much the same for isaac as in canon im sure, which is upsetting in its own right!

14. Are there any love rivals?

i mean besides the nameless people oliver dates before isaac (and technically lydia i guess), not really!

15. Describe your favorite moment of that ship!

okay so from what i’ve written (because i’m sure there’s some i haven’t written that’s gonna be really good), right after isaac decides he’s going to leave beacon hills with erica and boyd in 2x11, he goes to see oliver, and asks him what he thinks. oliver tells him outright what he thinks and it’s a very mature and honest conversation that shows the serious side of oliver we rarely get to see! they have like a really real conversation about their relationship and why isaac shouldn’t stay for oliver particularly, but for himself. it gets to me every time.

16. What do other characters think about this relationship?

for the most part, nobody cares JSDMFKMKSDNKF like they’re just chillin! but lydia thinks they’re very cute (although she was a little jealous at first), murphy thinks they’re annoying but he’s really secretly happy for oliver, and imogen is like “hell yeah go off lil elf boy.” oliver’s mom, elaina, has forbidden oliver interacting with the pack but she also doesn’t know he’s like. gay or anything let alone dating isaac jdfkewfkn

17. Describe or write a really fluffy scene!

okay so after their first date, oliver drives isaac home and they have a (joking and flirting) conversation about their relationship and how isaac should stop, like, endangering his own life. they also have their first kiss! here have some dialogue

Oliver: Hey, what you did tonight? It was kind of stupid.

Isaac: Which part?

Oliver: See, the fact that you have to ask that question concerns me. [Isaac chuckles.] Some of us kind of care that you keep endangering your life, you know.

Isaac: Kind of?

Oliver: Okay, really care. Really, really care.

Isaac: That’s new for me. You, Derek, and Scott might be the first people to care.

Oliver: Somehow I got that feeling.

18. Describe or write a really angsty scene!

okay so the scene after isaac gets dunked in the ice... angst! but besides that, the scene where gerard corners them both in the locker room during the lacrosse game in 2x11

19. Talk about a headcanon you’ve never talked about before.

okay so i kind of talk about everything about them to at least saraid and nicole BUT for part of their honeymoon they go to disneyland in paris, france and are very obnoxious the entire time

20. What does a typical date look like for them?

they love going on long drives!! they also love museum dates and taking walks in parks

21. What’s a really significant moment in their relationship?

oh when isaac admits that he cares... that’s a good one! because it shows oliver that this is more than a one-sided infatuation. plus it’s just after when gerard’s cornered them in the locker room and oliver’s healed him. it’s a moment,,,, whew.

send me a ship for the otp ask!

#oliver clark #teen wolf #ship: isaac x oliver #maddie #ask #asks #randomestfandoms #what kind of woman doesnt have an ask #i'm still finding out queue i am

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allthefilmsiveseenforfree · 6 years

Text

Aquaman

My first film of 2019 and oh boy is it a doozy. Here’s the thing - I know it's gonna be bad when people keep telling me, "I can't wait for your review for this one." That does not inspire confidence in quality filmmaking because, I think we can all agree, the reviews are most beloved when I am being a petty bitch. So it’s time for 2018′s last big tentpole superhero adventure, DC’s solo Aquaman movie, starring Human Sex God Jason Momoa and Amber Heard doing shockingly bad Little Mermaid cosplay. See, Momoa plays Arthur Curry, the son of the queen of Atlantis and a mere mortal lighthouse keeper, so he has the heritage and the birthright to take the throne of Atlantis from his scheming brother (Patrick Wilson) and unite the land and the sea, if he wants to that is (he doesn’t.) There’s a lot going on here that could be wildly entertaining if handled right, so the real question is does this movie, ahem, sink or swim? Well...

It’s a tangled mess of yes and no, but honestly the problems DC has making a movie of the caliber we KNOW superhero movies are capable of sinks this whole ship. Call the Heartbreakers, cause I’m about to get Tom Petty up in this bitch.

Our story begins with a voiceover about the hero’s parents because that’s always a good sign. The Queen of Atlantis, Atlanna (Nicole Kidman) washes up on shore and enjoys some light Stockholm Syndrome with Tom, a lighthouse keeper in Maine (Temuera Morrison), leading to the birth of Arthur Curry, aka our main Aqua type Dude (Jason Momoa). Some Atlantisians - Atlantians? That just sounds like they’re from Atlanta. Some sea people come to forcibly take Nicole Kidman home after at least 2 years, like wow are these people bad at tracking their queen, but then suddenly they just know where she is? And she’s like “I have to go back, they will always find me” um well not for at least 2 years they won’t, ma’am. Anyway so she heads back into the sea and Tom is left to raise baby Arthur alone until he’s probably 8 or 9 and then the sea people’s vizier (Willem Defoe) comes to land and starts training Arthur how to do sea people stuff because he’s heir to the throne. But it’s pretty clear Nicole Kidman is no longer in Atlantis and he’s not allowed to see her...and everyone’s really mad at her for having a “half-breed” son with a land-dweller. So why is Willem Defoe here training him like a half-melted wax figurine of Mr. Miyagi? HANDWAVEY DISTRACTION so anyway, now Arthur’s all grown up doing Aquaman shit but like on the DL, cause he doesn’t want to be all obvious about it. His forced love interest Mera (Amber Heard) comes to Maine to tell him that his half-brother King Orm is planning a huge war against the land-dwellers in order to become Ocean Master and the only way to stop him is to find this Sacred Trident and take his rightful place as king. Honestly a bunch of other shit happens too but if you’re as hung up as I am on the Ocean Master thing, I think we can all agree we have enough info to proceed.

Some thoughts and also questions because this movie demands questions:

As I’m sure you can guess, the script is just....it’s just so bad. Within the first 15 minutes, we got to hear the following exchange - Nicole Kidman, crying and marveling at the wetness on her face: "Our tears are always taken by the sea." Tom: "Not here. Here we feel them." This is meant to be a scene in which a woman is leaving the love of her life and her infant child, presumably forever. And we got sea tears.

The gravity with which the phrases "ocean master" and "sacred trident" are spoken is just something I was not emotionally prepared to deal with. This makes it sound like I can’t handle Maguffins in comic book movies which I absolutely can! But it helps if they at least sound otherworldly or mysterious. Ocean Master sounds like a game of I Spy you made up at SeaWorld to get your little nephew Caydlen to stop trying to crawl into the touch tank.

Every location is SOMEWHERE IN THE ____ SEA. I understand that the ocean is vast and contains multitudes. But you can’t be any more specific than that? You can’t be any more specific than that ten times?

I like how, at one point, there is scientist on cable news talking about the existence of Atlantis, and he is being depicted as SO crazy that the audience is meant to think he's ridiculous when we literally know he's telling the truth. The conspiracy theories he’s touting are the exact thing that is going on in the movie, but he comes across as a fool because...we’re....meant to feel foolish? For believing in Atlantis? Does no one work in marketing at DC or Warner Brothers? I’m legitimately asking whose choice this was.

This is all coming across as very negative, so let’s focus on some good. 1) Jason Momoa. The man is basically a human god, so the casting is excellent - he’s funny, he’s disarming, he’s cool, he’s the bad boy you wanna take home to mom. He plays the part excellently and even manages to make some of the world’s clunkiest dialogue sound kind of ok.

2) Some sequences really, really work - the trench sequence was a particular fave, and I think speaks mostly to director James Wan’s horror movie street cred. It was visually rich, atmospheric, and terrifying.

That’s pretty much it for the positives.

Why the fuck is Dolph Lundgren here?

I don’t think I mentioned this above, but more movies need to have viziers.

There’s a literal octopus playing the drums during a fight to the death like the filmmakers expected us NOT to immediately mentally sing “Under the Sea”?? During the first climactic battle between our hero and his main nemesis??? Like what tone is this even going for? Is it supposed to be silly? It takes itself too seriously. Is it supposed to be a 60s era Saturday morning cartoon? There’s too much “the land-dwellers are poisoning our oceans and killing our people so we need to start a holy war” for that. Is it supposed to be a wayward manchild finds his raison d’etre origin story? Did you read the thing about the octopus.

And what the fuck is going on with this soundtrack. The crunchy NUH-NUH-NUHHH guitar chord every time Momoa tosses off a horrible one-liner in his first scene. The techno-battle music that’s aping the far superior Daft Punk soundtrack to Tron: Legacy during a high-speed foot chase in fucking SICILY. And then Pitbull shows up to perform the audio equivalent of a used condom found in the back of a 2003 Hummer, a bafflingly ill-conceived cover of Toto’s “Africa.” Do you know how bad a song has to be for it to be the worst cover of “Africa” in a year where WEEZER covered “Africa”???

I literally don’t even have time to get into the out-of-nowhere secondary villain, Black Manta, who could have had potential if he weren’t playing his scenes like he’s in a 1988 Steven Seagal movie. I’m all for “this is kinda stupid but I’m still having fun” movies. I genuinely enjoyed last year’s The Predator and The Hurricane Heist! But the only person who seems to be having any fun here is Momoa, and even then it’s amidst a bloated, overstuffed mess of a script. I’m not going to say I had a bad time watching this movie, but I certainly don’t think it’s for the reasons any of the filmmakers were intending.

#119in2019 #aquaman #aquaman review #jason momoa #amber heard #willem dafoe #patrick wilson #nicole kidman #temuera morrison #dolph lundgren #james wan #movie reviews #film reviews

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namjoonysl · 6 years

Text

don’t play (m)

jimin’s your roommate and you’re convinced he’ll never see you as anything more than a friend. jungkook’s the fuckboy you match with on tinder who decides to help you make your roommate jealous. (1/?)

reader x jimin, reader x jungkook

11k+

Some people in life had it easy. They were gorgeous, beautiful, and everyone wanted them. That wasn’t you. You’d never been the pretty one. Guys didn’t hit on you when you went out with your friends, they didn’t go out of their way to hold doors open for you, they didn’t slide into your DMs when you posted selfies, but that’s okay.

There’s more to life than being pretty. You’ve learned to love yourself for other things, more substantial reasons: you were smart, you were hardworking, and you tried to be kind, which was more than a lot of people could claim. After recognizing these qualities and loving yourself for them, the state of your looks didn’t bother you anymore. For the most part.

Most days, you were fine. But days like today, when you walked into your kitchen first thing in the morning to see Park Jimin making waffles, wearing nothing but a white towel around his waist, droplets of water traveling down the defined expanse of his back—days like today, feeling a little self conscious was unavoidable.

You didn’t anticipate moments like this when you agreed to be Jimin’s roommate. You were just trying to be nice. Sometimes you really wished you were less nice.

“Morning, Jimin,” you mumbled, sleepy crankiness making your voice thick.

Jimin whipped around, a droplet of cold water flicking off his damp black hair and hitting you on the arm. “Oh, you scared me,” he laughed, “morning! Want a waffle?”

You grunt a “sure” that sounded both masculine and inelegant. Accepting the plate of waffles covered in thick golden syrup, you busied yourself with cutting into crunchy food and nibbling on a piece. You stared into the patterns of the marble countertop in front of you, pointedly avoiding looking at Jimin’s topless upper body.

Jimin chuckled. “Oh my god, you’re so cute.”

You paused chewing. “Wha?” you ask with a mouthful of waffle. You swallowed and looked up, narrowing your eyes. “Why’d you say that?”

He grins. “You never look at me when I’m shirtless. It’s cute that you’re shy, and a bit of a prude.”

A path of embarrassed stinging traveled up your neck and red blossomed on your cheeks. “Hey, I am not a prude. And I’m not shy either. I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“Oh, I see,” Jimin nodded, a tug of teasing at the corner of his mouth, “well that’s very considerate of you, but I’m super comfortable with my body. Look all you want.”

You roll your eyes fondly. Most mornings went like this, playful exchanges over shared breakfast, an unexpected domestic routine you’d fallen into and would miss when you inevitably parted ways. No one stays roommates forever. Jimin would fall in love with a beautiful girl because that’s what beautiful people did: they paired off together, two by two, until all that was left was you.

“So, Tae told me you went on a Tinder date,” Jimin says casually.

You almost spat out your orange juice. Thankfully you stifled your gut reaction and swallowed the tangy beverage with some grace. “He wasn’t supposed to tell anyone that.”

Jimin tilted his head thoughtfully. “Why not? And why would you tell Tae instead of me? I’m your roommate. Also, I tell you every time I go on a date.” The pout could be heard in his voice. It was true, Jimin had many colorful accounts of his romantic life and he had no problem sharing them, but there was a reason for that. Jimin’s dating life was amazing, and you could barely get matches on Tinder. Still, you felt bad for not telling Jimin.

You shrugged. “I’m sorry. It’s just really lame and not even worth mentioning. It’s not a big deal, plus the date went horribly. I just didn’t want to keep talking about it.” You tried to brush off the conversation, but Jimin was never one to let things go.

“Why did it go horribly? Was the guy a dick to you or something?”

“No. I mean, yeah actually. He showed up like twenty five minutes late, rattled off an apology about his job or something, I don’t even know, I could barely hear him. The bubble tea place he wanted to meet up at was so loud. And the conversation was stilted and awkward,” you said. You tried to sound nonchalant and not let on that it did bother you. You didn’t want Jimin to know that you were actually disappointed and hurt by the date, very much so.

“Oh no,” Jimin intoned sadly, an empathetic frown on his face, “I’m sorry.”

“Like I said, it’s not a big deal,” you chuckled and walked to the sink with your plate, washing off the sticky syrup residue. You felt his presence beside you. “It’s just a Tinder date. It’s how these things usually go, you know? Can’t expect anything good.”

Jimin sighed and took your wet plate from your hands. He lifted the dry towel by the faucet and wiped your plate, then placed it gently on the drying rack. “I know you hate being comforted, but I don’t care. The guy you went out with was an asshole and I’m sorry you had a shitty time. You deserve better.”

You smiled, tight-lipped and uncomfortable, but grateful nonetheless for his thoughtful concern. “Thanks Jimin. I only hated that a little bit.” You nudged his arm playfully with your elbow.

He laughed. “Well, now that the serious moment is over, I’m curious about something.” He leaned in conspiratorially. “You met up with a guy from Tinder.”

You blinked, expecting him to continue. “Yes?”

Jimin smiled, an angelic expression that could make anyone give up incriminating information, but he looked far from innocent right now. “Level with me.You trying to fuck?”

You sputtered and slapped him on his shoulder. He tipped his head back and laughed, the ridges of his throat protruding underneath his milky skin. “Please,” you said with mild annoyance.

“What? It’s a valid question. You go and meet a guy on Tinder out of the blue. You’re an adult. Everyone does it. Nothing wrong with it.”

You shake your head. “Random hookups aren’t my thing. That’s more of a Jimin thing.”

“Yeah?” Jimin half-smiled bashfully. At least he had the grace to look a little embarrassed about his reputation. “Are you slut shaming me?” he asked jokingly.

“Nope, we’re just completely different people.” You opted not to explain that Jimin looked like a runway model and you… did not. It was sad enough to think it. Saying it out loud would’ve been too pathetic. “Live your best life, get that shit, dick everyone in this whole town, it’s none of my business, Jiminie. I support you!”

“Did you just say dick everyone?” he sputtered through giggles.

“Gotta go shower! I’m late for work. Have fun dicking!” you called on your way to your bedroom, leaving behind a sputtering Jimin by the sink.

***

At work, Taehyung laid it on thick with the charm. Aside from being his friend, shifts with Taehyung generally went really well since his effortlessly pleasant and non-threatening flirting personality always raked in the tips.

Today however, every time you watched Taehyung flirt with another unsuspecting girl, you glared in his direction. You were jealous. What a life he must have with that magnetic personality and that pretty face. If you dared to try to be flirty, you would make everyone in that interaction uncomfortable, including yourself. You tried your best not to let on that you were a little annoyed with Taehyung, but every time you thought back to this morning when Jimin was interrogating you about your love life, it soured your mood.

“Jeez, are you still pissed?”

You paused in the middle of tossing a latte into a metal tumbler. Taehyung was leaning against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest, leveling you with a knowing stare. “I’m not allowed to be pissed that you told Jimin about my pathetic love life?”

Taehyung rolled his eyes. “No one’s love life is perfect. We’re friends, we tell each other embarrassing shit, it’s not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal,” you whined. Tossing the cinnamon latte into a plastic cup and sealing the lid, you smiled and handed it to the customer waiting by the bar. “Jimin brings home girls all the time. He’s had multiple girlfriends. I had one boyfriend two years ago and he was barely nice to be. Going on a shitty Tinder date, going on a Tinder date at all at this age—it’s just really lame.”

“What age? You’re only twenty two, not some thirty year old desperate spinster.”

You shrugged. “It feels like I am.”

“Is that the only reason you’re so bothered?” he said suggestively.

Your brows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Are you sure it’s not because you have feelings for Jimin?”

You blinked. “Feelings? For Park Jimin? Do I look stupid to you? That was a rhetorical question,” you clarified when he opens his mouth to answer.

“I was going to say,” Taehyung began, “that you shouldn’t feel stupid about it. Lots of people fall in love with their roommates. It’s a really popular trope.”

You snorted. “That’s hilarious. I meant that it’s stupid because Jimin’s really attractive. Have you seen the women he dates? I don’t compare to them. And don’t try to console me about this. It’s not a big deal, I’m fine, I’m just stating facts. Why do you think he even asked to be my roommate? You think if there was any chance he’d catch feelings for me that he’d want to live with me?”

Taehyung blinked. “I don’t get it. What does being roommates have to do with negating feelings?”

“You see, when you live with someone, you can’t really put up any pretenses, right? The other person sees all the ugly, boring sides of you—not that Jimin really has any. The point is, he doesn’t care about impressing me, so he’s okay with living with me. He thinks of me as a friend, and I’m not stupid enough to believe he’d ever think otherwise.”

Taehyung nodded. “Wow, you’ve got it all figured out. Impressive,” he said flatly.

“Shut up. I’m serious.” You playfully whacked his leg with a mini towel on the way to the sink, which was piled high with coffee-stained mugs and saucers. One by one, you scrubbed the ceramic dishware and arranged them onto the drying shelves. You’d entered a peaceful rhythm of scrubbing, washing, and drying when Taehyung called you over to the front counter. You rolled your eyes. Just when you thought the rush was over another customer shows up. What did Taehyung need you for anyway? He was perfectly capable of taking orders by himself.

When you get to the front counter and plaster on a giant fake smile, the expression immediately shatters when you realize why Taehyung had called you over. It was Jungkook, your shitty Tinder date.

“Jungkook,” you stated. Underneath the counter, you felt a light tap against your foot. You didn’t need to look down to know it was Taehyung, the same person you initially confided in when you were trying to decide whether you should go out with Jungkook when he matched with you and asked you out. Taehyung looked over his profile and read your messages, and ultimately decided he seemed harmless enough.

“Hi,” Jungkook said, smiling tight-lipped. “Do you have a minute?”

Your mouth went dry. You glanced at Taehyung for help, who nodded and gave you a light pat on the back. “You can go,” he said, “I’ll hold down the fort.”

“Okay,” you said quietly. You cleared your throat and removed your apron, pulling it over your head, hoping it wouldn’t get caught on your hair like it sometimes did—it didn’t. “Wanna sit here?” You pointed to a table in the corner that was in a blind spot from the cameras so your boss wouldn’t see you sitting down, but was close enough to the counter so Taehyung could hear your conversation.

Jungkook nodded and followed you. “Sorry to show up out of the blue,” he said. “I texted you but I didn’t get a response.”

“My phone was in my bag, sorry. I wasn’t checking it. So what’s up?”

Jungkook ducked his head, tendrils of wavy black hair falling in front of his eyes, and you were reminded why you had a such a hard time deciding whether you should meet him. When you saw that Jungkook swiped on you, you figured it must’ve been a mistake. Jungkook was really hot. He was also twenty one, one year younger than you. Even so, you thought there would be no harm in matching, so you did. He sent you the first message, four words that almost made you fall off your bed: “wow, you’re really pretty.”

Now here he was, one shitty encounter later, sitting in front of you wearing a white tshirt and ripped black jeans with his hands folded on the table, looking guilty and a little sad. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I know the date went bad and it’s my fault. I showed up late and I was out of it, and I felt really bad, so I’m sorry.” He peered up through his bangs, brown eyes wide with sincerity and remorse.

“Oh,” you said, caught off guard. “Um, it’s alright Jungkook, I wasn’t expecting you to sweep me off my feet or anything. It’s no biggie. No hard feelings.” You let out a little laugh, not quite sure what to say. No one had ever apologized for being a bad date before. It was unclear whether you should feel like he was validating your experience or pitying you.

He stood up straighter. “No hard feelings, okay, good.”

“Yeah.” You scratched your brow awkwardly, peering back at Taehyung, who was leaning over the counter looking as confused as you felt. “Is-is that all? Cause I kinda have to get back to work…” You stood up and Jungkook instantly mirrored your movement, reaching out a hand.

“Wait, that’s not all. I was also sorta wondering if we could go out again?”

Your mouth fell open a little. “Um. What? You want to go out again? Why?” You stepped beside your chair hesitantly.

“I just want to do things right this time. You know, show up on time, go somewhere we can actually hear each other.” He chuckled, the corners of his eyes wrinkling up in a way that was adorable and boyish and exactly the kind of thing that made you weak. Your guard was already dropping. “I just like talking to you, and I was the one who asked you out. I was a rude date, but I’m not a bad person, I promise. So, what do you say?”

You froze. People always told you you were too nice for your own good, too understanding, giving second chances to people who rarely deserved them. This felt like one of those moments. The first date with Jungkook had gone so poorly. He didn’t even offer to pay for your tea, and considering he was the one who asked you out, it would’ve been the polite thing to do. His age was probably partially responsible for that, and the tardiness. He was still in college, and from what you saw of single guys in college, they weren’t the most collected individuals.

Still, your resolve was feeble, and Jungkook was a hot guy who apologized and wanted to take you out again. Your mind was filled with doubts and suspicions of ulterior motives, but in the moment, you couldn’t find it in yourself to reject him, at least not to his face. Thankfully, customers just walked in, an impatient looking group of older women who probably wouldn’t appreciate being kept waiting.

“I’m sorry, I have to go, people just came in.” Jungkook peered over his shoulder and his shoulders drooped in disappointment.

“Can I text you later then? Or you can text me, let me know if we’re on for round two?” He grinned, glints of hope in his eyes.

“Sure, I’ll text you.”

“Okay, cool. Sounds good! Then I’ll catch ya later hopefully.” He gave a little wave on his way out, and when you joined Taehyung at the counter again, you pointedly avoided looking at his smirking face.

***

When you get home, Jimin wasn’t there, not surprising. He usually went out on Friday nights, the more extroverted counterpart to your homebody nature. With the luxury of the whole apartment to yourself, you took a shower, took out your contacts and put on glasses that looked like you borrowed them from your grandma, put on the fluffiest, least sexy pair of PJs you own that had little hearts and sheep on it, an oversized college tshirt, cooked a pot of ramen, and started watching a space documentary on Netflix.

It was nice, being able to exist in a common space with wet hair and no bra, being able to ugly in peace without worrying about your hot roommate witnessing you in your natural state. You didn’t have a TV in your room so you were happy to watch something on a screen that wasn’t your laptop for once.

When all the noodles were finished, you placed the fork on the coffee table and began to drink the salty soupy remnants of the ramen by slurping it out of the bowl like it was a mug, the way kids do. It was when the bowl was at your lips, angled it so it largely covered your face that you heard the front door open, along with the voice of your roommate and the laughter of a woman.

You brought the bowl down immediately and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. “Jimin, hi,” you said with a small voice, your cheeks flaming red.

“Oh hey,” Jimin smiled, “sorry, I should’ve warned you. I thought you’d be hanging out in your room. Amy, this is my roommate, _____.” The woman nodded curtly at you, a stiff smile stretching her plump, glossy lips.

“Hello,” you waved, embarrassment making your palms sweat as you became painfully aware how toned her body looked under her elegant black dress, and how much of a slob you were in comparison. “Nice to meet you. Um, do you guys want to hang out in here? I can go to my room, it’s fine.”

“No no, that’s alright,” Jimin said, “we’re just gonna be in my room.” A small suggestive grin tugged at the corner of his mouth and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes in his face. “I’ll see you in the morning okay? Goodnight!”

With that, he took his date’s hand and pulled her into his bedroom, and she followed eagerly. Her elated screeches and giggles could be heard after he closed the door.

With effort, you tried to erase the most recent moments of your life from your memory and resume your space documentary, but Carl Sagan’s voice could barely be heard over the moans and wistful sighs coming from the next room. You glared at the beige wall in front of you and turned up the volume a few notches. A few seconds later, you heard three sharp raps against the wall. Unbelievable.

With a scoff, you turned down the volume and tried to ignore the girlish yelps and the low grunts that you’d heard many times before from the previous women Jimin brought home. The deep, throaty groans shot straight to your gut, and it was all you could do to scurry into your bedroom and slam the door shut before your mind started to go to dark places.

This was how it usually went. Friday night, Jimin’s got a hot date, and you’ve got desire pooling in your belly and nothing to do about it but sulk. It was then that your phone vibrated on your bedside table.

Jungkook (11:35 pm): hey sry i know it’s late but have u decided yet ? can we go out again ?

You wanted to say no. You wanted to say that he blew it, that if he really wanted to go out again, he would’ve shown up on time and he would’ve picked a better place and he would’ve at least offered to pay since he invited you. But then you heard a high pitched whine, albeit muffled, but the sting was of it was fully felt. Jimin was in his bedroom having the time of his life, just like everyone else you knew on a Friday night, and you were in your PJs and your breath smelled like noodles.

Maybe you were getting desperate, but you liked the feeling of being pursued for once, even if it ended in disappointment again.

Me (11:38 pm): yeah i guess we could go out again

Jungkook (11:41 pm): cool! wanna get dinner tomorrow night ? i know this cool thai place, my treat ?

Well, at least he was offering to pay this time. You had the receipts if he wanted to back out. You could handle disappointment again if free food was involved.

Me (11:42 pm): sounds good, see you then

***

The following afternoon, you rushed home from work to get ready, but not without ducking most of Taehyung’s intrusive questions. (“Where are you going? What are you gonna wear? How did he get you to agree to go out again? Are you gonna fuck him?” “None of your business, I have no idea, I just feel like going out again, and fuck off.”)

Thirty minutes before the date you found yourself standing in front of your closet, at a total loss for what to wear. Getting dressed was generally a traumatic experience since nothing ever seemed to fit right, and a childhood of being taught to hate your body didn’t help your self-esteem.

Jungkook said he was taking you to a Thai restaurant, so you had to wear something nice without looking like you tried too hard. There was no avoiding it: you had to wear a dress, something you rarely ever wore. You never really got out of the college phase of wearing tights and tshirts, and at work there was no uniform, so you generally wore jeans and a simple tshirt.

In the end you decided on a cream colored mesh dress that had embroidered flowers on it. You tugged uncomfortably on the thin straps. Your shoulders and your upper back, and a lot of your cleavage was exposed, but that was the point. Exposure. You bought the dress thinking someday you’d be brave enough to wear it, and today was the day. You were going to push yourself out of your comfort zone because that’s what grown ups did. You weren’t an insecure little kid anymore.

Standing in front of the mirror, you inspected your appearance from every angle, and then lifted up your arm to double check you wore deodorant when suddenly you heard a sharp rap at your door. You yelped.

“What is it?” you called.

“I’m going out, just letting you know I’ll probably be late!” Jimin said from outside your door. You rolled your eyes. Of course Jimin was going out two days in a row.

“Sounds good!”

“What about you? Are you staying in?”

You froze. Internally you debated whether you should tell him you had a date, weighing the pros and cons.

Cons: He’d want to know who you were going out with and you’d either have to lie and make up someone new, or tell him you were going out with Jungkook, after which Jimin would probably judge you or chastise you or worse, pity you. He would also want to know all the details afterwards, and since tonight will probably end poorly at worst, mediocre at best, it isn’t information you want to relay to anyone, least of all Jimin.

Pros: You could ask him if you looked pretty in your dress. You could ask him what boys like when they went out with girls. You could ask him for advice, assistance, just anything that would help you feel less lost and vulnerable.

Your stomach spurned and you felt queasy. You decided to keep your plans to yourself.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna stay in, watch Netflix or something.”

Jimin’s fond sigh could be heard through the door. “Some things don’t change, huh?”

You gulped, taking in your appearance in the mirror. Forty minutes was spent straightening and styling your hair. You managed to tame the frizziness and create some loose waves. An additional thirty minutes was spent on your makeup. Hours of your life had been dedicated to watching makeup tutorial videos, so you knew how to do a golden bronze eyeshadow look with a shimmery lip, with some semblance of hope under layers of cynicism that Jungkook might want to kiss you.

Briefly you wondered what Jimin might say if he saw you like this. He’d never seen you dressed up before. You never bothered to look the least bit glamorous around him. Making an effort for him seemed pointless. He’d never see you as a viable girlfriend or hookup or anything really.

“Yeah, some things never change,” you murmured to yourself, hoping with all your heart that that wasn’t true.

***

You waited until Jimin left to go out. When you arrived at the restaurant, Jungkook was waiting for you outside. He was wearing a striped button up and skinny jeans, black boots, and silver hoops in his ears. It would always be a mystery whether it was his appearance or the heel of your shoe that made you stumble a little walking up the sidewalk. It was almost as mysterious as why someone as attractive as Jungkook would want to see you again. You wondered if the people outside were surprised that you were the one he was waiting for.

“Hey,” he greeted politely, briefly glancing down to do a once over, “you look um, really nice.”

Your cheeks suddenly felt hot, and you were grateful for the layers of foundation and concealer on top of your pink skin. “Thank you, you also look nice,” you said shyly, picking at the embroidery on your skirt. “Should we go in?”

“Yeah, of course! Here, watch the steps. Thank god I made reservations. I didn’t think it’d be this packed tonight,” Jungkook said, lightly touching your back and gently guiding you up the steps outside the main entrance. It was a cute gesture, something you’d seen guys do for girls in movies, and you fought to keep the smile off your face.

“I’m impressed,” you said, smiling, “most guys in college I knew wouldn’t have had the forethought to make reservations. They just winged everything.”

Jungkook let out a little laugh. “Yeah, that’s pretty much how it is, but I just wanted to make sure everything went well this time, since I fucked up last time.” Jungkook ducked his head, a characteristic gesture that seemed to indicate that he was nervous or embarrassed, or both. It was cute. He really knew how to play into the whole adorably clueless, but with the best of intentions schtick. At the front of the line, he greeted the waitress at the podium. “Hi, reservations under Jeon?”

“Yes, Mr. Jeon,” the waitress smiled, barely sparing a glance at you, “your table is right this way.”

Jungkook kept the hand on your back as you both followed the waitress. She seated you at a table by the window. “Please let me know if you need anything,” she said, addressing only Jungkook, whom she was still smiling at.

“Thank you,” he nodded at her. When she left, he picked up the menu. “This place has really great noodles. If you want any recommendations, let me know.”

Six minutes later it was decided that you would get the chicken and he would get the beef, and you were both allowed to try each other’s food because greediness was decidedly lame.

“So,” Jungkook said, “did you have a nice day today?”

You grinned at his attempt at making conversation. “Yeah, it was a pretty uneventful day. Just went to work.”

“Ah yes, at the coffee shop. It’s so cute that you’re a barista.”

You snorted. “Why is that cute?”

He shrugged and laughed, fiddling with a button on his shirt. “I don’t know, it just is. The coffee shop you work at is so lowkey and vibey, and then you’re just up there, making coffee. It’s a thing, trust me.”

His explanation made you laugh again. “If you say so. It’s less cute when there’s a line out the door and people are getting mad at you because they have to wait so long.”

Jungkook frowned empathetically. “Yeah, that doesn’t sound pleasant. They should expect to wait? And I’ve had the coffee where you work. It’s good, totally worth the wait.”

“Oh, you came by the shop?”

“Yeah, once a while back. You weren’t there.”

“I see. So where do you work, if you do at all?” you asked curiously.

“Oh, I don’t work,” he said, leaning back in his chair, “If I did, I’d probably fail all my classes.”

You nodded. “Fair enough.”

A different waiter brought you your food and arranged it on your plate. Jungkook stopped the man before he left. “Excuse me, could we also get two glasses of the house wine please? Oh sorry, _____, is that okay with you?”

You blinked, not expecting Jungkook to go ahead and order alcohol. You didn’t have anything against drinking, but you were a little hesitant to consume something that would lower your inhibitions in case you said or did something embarrassing. “Y-yeah, that’s fine, wine sounds great,” you finally decided, remembering that you were trying to go out of your comfort zone and do things you were afraid to do.

Jungkook grinned when the waiter left. “Can I be honest with you?”

“Yeah, what’s up?” you said.

“I don’t actually like wine. I just thought you would be impressed if I ordered it.”

“What?” you sputtered, giggling. “Seriously?”

“Yes!” he laughed. “Thought it’d be classy and mature or something, I don’t know. Was it lame?”

“Oh jeez. Yes Jungkook, it was very classy and mature of you. Only thing is, I don’t much like wine either.”

“Oh my god,” Jungkook paused in the middle of swirling a fork into his noodles, “for real? We’re really gonna be sitting here drinking something we both dislike?”

You shrugged, biting into your chicken. “We don’t have to drink it.”

Jungkook’s shoulders drooped and he gave you an unamused, slightly hurt pout. “Oh… it’s just, I made a big thing about ordering it, and it’d be kinda embarrassing if the waiter came back and saw both our glasses left untouched.”

You giggled. “Fine, fine, I’ll sip it a little.”

“Thank you,” Jungkook said, doing a little bow. “We still good on trying each other’s food?”

After that, conversation came easy between you and Jungkook, which was a relief. The first date was so stiff and awkward, but so many factors were different this time. He picked a nicer place, he even showed up early, he complimented you. Maybe you were too cynical. Tonight could actually end up perfectly fine.

“______?”

You heard your name being called, but it wasn’t Jungkook who said it. When you looked up at him, he gave you the same questioning look. And then it became clear. Standing about three feet behind Jungkook was the owner of the voice, your roommate Jimin.

“Jimin! Hey,” you said, smiling. Your expression faltered when he didn’t smile back.

“Hi,” he said slowly, “What are you doing here?”

Briefly, you glanced at Jungkook, then realized why Jimin looked so confused. Back at your apartment, you’d told him you were planning on staying in. You’d been caught in a lie. “Oh, um, yeah I… I decided to go out.” You hesitated, unsure whether you should introduce Jungkook, how you should even introduce him. Would it be too forward to call him your date?

“Ah,” Jimin nodded, his eyeline moving to Jungkook, “is this your date?” He walked forward until he was standing by your table.

“Um…” you started, looking at Jungkook, who’s eyes darted between you and Jimin with faint amusement.

“Yes, I’m her date,” Jungkook said, extending his hand to Jimin. “I’m Jungkook, and you are?”

Jimin’s eyes went imperceptibly wide as he took Jungkook’s hand. He glanced back at you, his gaze slightly confused and accusatory, but it was abundantly clear he was less than pleased. You shook your head apologetically, pleading him silently to be cool. “Jungkook. I see… I’m Jimin, her roommate.”

“Oh, nice to meet you,” Jungkook said.

“You too,” Jimin replied curtly. “Well, my date’s waiting back at our table so I can’t introduce her right now, but it’s wild that we ran into each other here, isn’t it?” You could feel Jimin’s eyes burning into you. You nodded, taking a sip of your wine, grimacing at the bitter, oaky taste.

Fingertips grazed the back of your hand where it was placed on the table. You looked up to find Jungkook looking at you curiously, a small smile at the corner of his mouth. His fingers brushed against yours in a gesture that signaled something like allyship, support.

“Well, we should get back to our date,” Jungkook said.

Jimin’s expression was unreadable, his stare focused now on your hand under Jungkook’s. “Right,” he said after a moment, letting a smile stretch over his face, “you two have a lovely time. I’ll see you back at home, ____.” The way he said ‘home’ made it sound like something intimate, something meaningful just for the two of you. He touched your shoulder and left his hand there, just for a moment, but the seemingly innocent touch was enough to send a shiver down your spine. And then he was gone.

“So, that was your roommate. Seems nice,” Jungkook said nonchalantly, taking a sip of his wine. “Fuck, that really is gross.”

You snorted. Suddenly you became aware that his hand was still covering yours. You moved your fingertips against the cloth in an attempt to stir Jungkook’s senses in case he forgot he was still touching you, but he didn’t budge. Instead he grazed his thumb against your knuckles. He was aware and full of intent, and maybe it was the wine going to your head, but the gesture made you sigh softly in contentment.

“Sorry about that,” you said quietly. “He was just surprised to see me. I didn’t tell him I was going out tonight.”

“Why not?”

“Well, I kinda mentioned how shitty our first date was, so that didn’t leave a good impression on him,” you said bluntly, surprised by your own honesty.

Jungkook blinked and sat up straighter. “Oh. Yeah, I get why he was glaring daggers at me now.” He grinned.

“He was not,” you muttered. “Wait, you’re joking right? I didn’t notice him doing that.”

“Oh no, he looked like he was ready to punch me.”

You frowned, chewing nervously on your lip. “He did look a little angry… don’t worry, he was just judging me.” You let out a fond laugh.

“Judging you for what? Going out with me again? That seems a little unnecessary. He’s not your brother or your dad or anything. He’s just your roommate. Why does he care who you’re out with?”

“He’s just a caring person. We’re really good friends, and also, I don’t do this much, this whole dating thing. He’s just watching out for me, you know?”

Jungkook nodded slowly. “I guess I understand…” He laughed. “I swear, I really thought he was your ex or something. Are you sure he doesn’t like you?”

You were about to take another sip of wine, but Jungkook’s question made you freeze. “Like me? Please, don’t be absurd.”

“Why is that absurd? You live together, you seem close. People can catch feelings being around each other for so long.”

You shook your head, another scoff of laughter escaping you. “He doesn’t like me.”

“Bet.”

“Excuse me?”

Jungkook leaned forward and wove your fingers together on the table, a bolder gesture than before, one that made you sit up straighter and cross one leg over the other. “I bet you he likes you, and I know how to prove it.”

“Prove it?” you asked. Your voice sounded far away. All you could focus on was Jungkook, the collarbones peeking out from under his shift, the way his dark hair cascaded over his eyes, the slight smirk hooked at his parted pink lips.

“Mhm,” he nodded, “don’t look now, but your roommate, who you’re convinced has no feelings for you, is sitting about seven tables behind you, and he’s completely ignoring his date because all he’s looking at is us.”

The haze clouding over your brain parted momentarily. “Jimin’s looking this way?”

“Yeah.” With his other hand, Jungkook reached across the table and tucked a loose lock of hair behind your ear. The intimate gesture made you look away, but Jungkook wasn’t gonna put up with your shyness. He gave a sharp tug at your hand. “You’re cute when you’re shy,” he said, grinning.

His words paralleled Jimin’s own observation about you, and the memory of him, combined with the way Jungkook was looking at you like you were the unofficial off the menu dessert was a bit too much.

“Jungkook,” you murmured, “what are you doing?”

“Trying to prove you wrong,” he said, a teasing lilt to his voice. “Wanna play with me, _____? Here’s what I’m thinking. If I lean over and kiss you right now, I bet Jimin will react. If I’m right, I get another kiss. If I’m wrong, well, then at least I got to kiss you once.”

“Um, I…” You had no idea what to say. A large part of you didn’t believe that Jimin was actually looking at you, but some small part of you didn’t see why Jungkook would lie about something like that. Unless he was just teasing you to get you to kiss him.

And then there was the voice inside you screaming with joy that Jungkook was flirting with you.

Maybe if you hadn’t been drinking, you could think more rationally about this, but the part of you that never got to indulge in fun and spontaneity had been denied for too long. In lieu of answering Jungkook, you leaned across the table and placed your lips on his. You felt his sharp intake of breath through his nose, and then he relaxed and kissed you back, placing a hand on your cheek and angling his mouth, deepening the kiss.

You could taste wine on his lips, and he didn’t seem to mind when you lightly ran your tongue along his parted mouth. With a low growl, he cupped your jaw and gave you one last kiss. When you pulled away, his eyes were dark with lust and half-lidded.

“I was right,” he mumbled, tracing his finger along your jaw.

“Hm?” you hummed.

“Jimin looks like he wants to kill me.” Jungkook grinned, a look of victory and vindication. “See for yourself, baby.” He nodded in Jimin’s direction. Nervously, you turned around, and sure enough, Jimin was leaning back in his booth, staring directly past his date and straight at Jungkook with a look of murder in his eyes.

His eyes found your’s, and his gaze softened at the edges. Still, he didnt look happy. Quickly, he averted his gaze and took a sip of something amber from his glass, and then pushed back his hair.

You turned back to Jungkook. “See? He totally likes you. He looks so pissed that I kissed you.”

The waiter came back and Jungkook asked for the check. He pulled out his wallet and deposited his credit card inside the leather holder before you could look at the amount, but from the small glance you managed to sneak, it looked like a substantial price.

A warmth settled into your skin, and it wasn’t unwelcome. You found yourself smiling as Jungkook traced patterns against your knuckles. “Hmm, maybe he’s just pissed that I kissed the asshole who showed up half an hour late to our first date,” you teased.

Jungkook chuckled. “Fair enough, but wouldn’t you say I’ve made up for it with this one?”

“You think you can just buy me a fancy dinner and some wine and we can call it even?” you accused with no real malice in your voice.

“I mean, there’s more I’d like to do to you,” he murmured, glancing down briefly at your body. “The terms of my bet were that if I won, I would get another kiss. You seemed fine with those terms before. And since you still don’t seem to believe that your roommate’s into you, I have no problem taking you home and finding other ways to make him mad. You know, purely for research purposes. Gathering evidence. Gotta prove a point to this girl I know.”

You giggled. “That’s a bold proposition. You basically just said you wanted to fuck me to prove a point. Is that supposed to tempt me?”

Jungkook smirked. “Not gonna lie, I wasn’t expecting you to be so forthcoming. It’s really hot that you just called me out, but it’s true. You’re attracted to me, otherwise you wouldn’t have taken the initiative to kiss me. And that was a hot kiss. I bet if we fucked, it would be good too.”

Instinctively, you glanced around to see if anyone was listening to your conversation. Everyone seemed too invested in their own dates to care that Jungkook was trying to get you to fuck him. A lurch of insecurity brought you back to reality.

“Jungkook,” you said quietly, “you’re right. I’m not usually this forthcoming. I didn’t plan on giving you a second chance. I didn’t plan on drinking. I didn’t plan on kissing you. Cards on the table, this isn’t really who I am. I’m just trying to convince myself that I can be someone who can go with the flow, stop worrying about every little thing, but that’s not me. The real me still doesn’t understand why you wanted to go out with me again. A part of me still thinks it’s because you feel bad for me,” you rambled. “And now you’re playing this, this game? Are you being like this because you’re actually attracted to me, or because of some other reason? I’m sorry to ask and shatter this illusion, or whatever. This is just what’s on my mind.”

Jungkook tilted his head and released your hand. He inhaled. “Alright, let’s just slow down, okay? You haven’t shattered anything. I’m glad you told me what’s on your mind, because now I can set the record straight. I wanted to see you again because I ruined things the first time and I wanted to give this thing a fair chance. With that being said, I’m here because I think you’re hot. Everything I did tonight was so we could both have fun, and so that you’d be more inclined to sleep with me. I feel like I should tell you that because you appreciate honesty. Was I wrong? Are you repulsed by me now?”

Your lips parted. You weren’t expecting him to be this forthcoming, but he was right. His honesty was appreciated. You nodded in affirmation. “Do you really think I’m hot?” you asked quietly.

Jungkook let out a breath of disbelief. He grinned. “Yeah. I don’t know if I’ll get slapped for this, but I’ve had to stop myself from looking at your tits like ten times tonight. I wasn’t expecting you to show up here looking like this. You look beautiful. But even before tonight and our last date, when I saw your pictures and swiped on your Tinder profile, I did that with every intention of sleeping with you.”

“Oh,” you said dumbly. “That’s… good to know.” You cleared your throat awkwardly and nodded.

Jungkook’s sharp features lit up with amusement. “Is it? That’s interesting. So you really like it when I’m upfront with you. I feel like I could use this information to my advantage.”

You rolled your eyes and laughed. “Apparently honesty is my new kink. Unfiltered, shameless honesty.”

“What’s there to be ashamed about? To quote you, cards on the table: I wanna sleep with a hot girl, dinner and wine is the extent of my romantic capabilities, and I’m not promising you anything more or less than amazing sex.”

“You’re promising that?” you scoffed playfully. “That’s a heavy promise, kid. I haven’t slept with anyone since my last boyfriend, and that was two years ago. My expectations have been building up. It’d be a shame if you had performance issues and I waited all this time for nothing, right?”

Jungkook’s jaw dropped open slightly and he looked absolutely indignant. “First of all, I’m not a kid. According to Tinder, I’m only one year younger than you. Second of all, that sounds like a challenge, and I can’t wait to win. Again.” Jungkook leaned in close until he was inches away from your ear. “Let me take you home and fuck you until you scream,” he murmured softly, “Two years is a long time to wait. I’ll fuck you so good you’ll forget your ex’s name.” His words sent jolts of pleasure and anticipation to the apex of your thighs. You squeezed your legs together and squirmed in your seat. “Plus,” he said, “wouldn’t it be fun to give Jimin a show? Let him hear how good I can make you moan?”

You reeled back. “Why are you bringing up Jimin again? That whole thing was just a ruse to get me to kiss you, right? This has nothing to do with Jimin.”

Jungkook’s eyes glittered with knowing and mischief. He was up to absolutely no good. “You’re lying. I saw how you reacted when he touched you. Anyone could see how much he affects you. It’s fine if you don’t want to admit it. I’m basically a stranger, but I have eyes. And from my perspective, you want him. I’m just hoping you want me too.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. He sounded so arrogant and self-assured. “Who are you to tell me what I want? You think from one interaction you understand my feelings?” With that, you stood up.

“Woah woah,” Jungkook stood up too, “I’m sorry okay? You’re right, that went a little too far, but you don’t have to leave,” Jungkook said.

“We both have to leave. Didn’t you say you were gonna take me home?”

Jungkook blinked. “You still want me to…?”

“You think after all this, I’m gonna stop now? I haven’t gotten laid in two years, Jungkook.” You chuckled, a little humiliated and regretful that you let that bit of information slip out, but if after all your ranting and your insecurities, Jungkook wasn’t turned off, then things are still good. “Did you drive here?”

“Yes.”

“I did too. Follow me back to my apartment. Oh, and one more thing.” You pulled him in by his collar and kissed him again. His hands immediately found your waist, gently but firmly holding you against him, and he moved his mouth against your’s. You pulled away. “Is Jimin watching?” you mumbled against his mouth.

“Yeah,” he breathed.

“Hmm, maybe you’re onto something. Or maybe Jimin just has a thing for watching people kiss,” you snickered.

Jungkook grinned. “I’m fine with either as long as you keep kissing me.” Jungkook peppered a row of light kisses against your jawline. “Your lips are so soft,” he mumbled. “I want them wrapped around my cock when we get back to your apartment.”

You playfully shoved his chest. “You college kids and your filthy mouths. We’re in public,” you whispered. He was unbothered, his grin only spreading wider over his eager face. He let you lead the way to the doors, and on your way out, your eyes inadvertently met Jimin’s wide orbs. His soft questioning gaze hardened once he saw Jungkook following you. You swiftly averted your eyes and walked out the door, Jungkook a couple steps behind you.

***

Fifteen minutes and a missed exit later, you were finally home, but you weren’t alone. Jungkook stood in your living room, watching as you kicked off your heels.

“Nice place,” Jungkook commented, the first exchange of words between you since you left the restaurant. “Did you just move here?”

Your brows scrunched in confusion. “No?”

“Oh okay. I was just wondering why you got lost and had to do a u-turn on the way to your own apartment.”

Your eyes narrowed in annoyance. “Sorry, I got nervous, sue me.”

“Nervous? About what?”

“Never had a random hookup before, haven’t gotten laid in two years, you know, all that embarrassing shit I let slip back at the restaurant.”

Jungkook shrugged. “I’m not judging you. I really just care about one thing, and I stopped feeling bad about it the moment you said you came out with me to prove something to yourself. Technically, you’re using me too. Let’s not pretend either one of us is better or worse than the other.”

You nodded, letting his insights sink in. “Wow, you just keep dropping these pearls of wisdom all over the place today,” you deadpanned. “Got anymore truth bombs you wanna blow me away with?”

Jungkook plastered on a fake smile. “No, I think that’s it.”

“Great. My bedroom’s this way. Let’s do this before I change my mind.”

Jungkook snorted, but followed you anyway. “You sure know how to make a guy feel special.”

“Oh, you mean like how special you made me feel when you told me you were just using me? I really loved hearing that,” you said sarcastically. Jungkook suddenly took hold of your elbow and spun you around, walking you backwards until you were trapped between him and the wall.

“I think you did,” he mumbled. His hand slid up your arm, coming up to firmly clasp your throat, his grip loose enough so you could breathe, but tight enough that it promised despicable intentions. “I think you actually loved hearing that I want to use you. I mean, I found you on Tinder of all places. No one looks for love or romance on Tinder. You knew what was up. You act like this is all so unexpected, and maybe it is, but that doesn’t mean this wasn’t exactly what you were looking for. Just a night of meaningless sex with a stranger, someone to stretch you out and fill you up like you’ve wanted for two years.” Jungkook’s other hand pulled down one strap of your dress. He left a trail of soft kisses against your newly exposed skin.

A whimper left your parted mouth when a row of sharp teeth grazed your collarbone. Your hands sought purchase, clinging to his shirt. You tried to pull him down and pull yourself up at the same time. There was more distance to bridge now that you didn’t have heels to support you anymore. The fist wrapped around your throat loosened, the free hand reaching down to hike up the skirt of your dress. His fingers climb up the back of your thigh until his palm met the fabric of your underwear. He squeezed the flesh of your ass, pulling your hips against his.

Your hands gripped his shoulders, your head bowed against his chest to hide your face. Sex with your ex boyfriend had never been like this. It was boring, customary. It felt like a formality, something you did because that was what people in relationships did. He never made you cum either—he never lasted long enough.

“Jungkook,” you moaned.

“Hm? What is it baby?”

“I want that, what you said, but I’m nervous. I’m sorry,” you whimpered. “Can we go to my bed?”

“Yeah, if we can find it. Where’s your lightswitch? Can’t see shit in here—”

“No. Lights off,” you said firmly. “Bed’s this way.” You took Jungkook’s hand and led him to your bed. “Um, sit.”

Jungkook chuckled. “Yes ma’am.”

In the darkness, being naked felt less intimidating, especially next to someone as physically imposing as Jungkook. It was a scary thought that Jungkook would feel your body, all the places you were soft instead of toned. Your confidence with your body had been a tumultuous journey. It took a long time, but you were finally at a place where you didn’t hate your body anymore, but that didn’t mean you loved it either. One of the biggest reasons you hadn’t been with anyone in so long was exactly this, the fear that someone would be repulsed by your body.

It was one thing for Jungkook to think you looked hot in pictures, or glammed up with a pretty dress at a restaurant with your hair and makeup done. It was another thing to be naked with him. You couldn’t turn back now, you thought, reaching behind you to pull down the zipper of your dress.

“Need help?” Jungkook asked. You nodded and he reached out for your hand, guiding you into his lap. His arms wrapped around you, one hand brushing your hair away from your clasp of your zipper and the other hand tugging it down. “You look so pretty in this dress. Lift your hps, baby.” You complied. He bunched up the skirt and lifting the garment over your head, leaving you in your bra and panties. “Got all dressed up to see me,” he said softly, “made your lips all shiny, made me want to kiss you the whole night. You had your tits pressed up in this fucking bra all night. God, I’m so glad you agreed to fuck me.”

Jungkook’s hands landed on your thighs, squeezing a little. His own felt so solid and strong and you resisted the urge to grind down on them. He must’ve sensed your squirming because he started trailing his fingers up your sensitive inner thigh.

“Can I touch you?” he asked, fingertips inches away from your pussy. You were soaked, you could feel it, smell it. The thought that he could smell your arousal too made you glad he couldn’t see how embarrassed you looked.

“Yeah,” you mumbled, “touch me.”

Jungkook’s fingertips brushed against your pussy over the lace of your panties. The small caress alone had you hunching over, pulling him closer and wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Does that feel good? You want more?” he said, stroking your pussy.

You nodded vigorously. “Please,” you whimpered.

“Then ride my hand.” Jungkook laid his hand flat against your pussy. “Show me how much you want it.”

When you hesitated, he stroked you again, wedging the ends of his fingers between your pussy lips, still covered by your drenched underwear. Slowly, you started to move your hips, arching your back to angle your clit downwards. Everytime you brought your hips forward, your clit brushed against Jungkook’s palm. Soft moans fell from your lips, your head hung downward.

“That’s it, you’re doing good. Take what you need,” Jungkook told you, encircling his arm around your waist and urging you to go faster. “You’ve never done this before, have you?”

You shook your head.

“That boyfriend you had didn’t deserve to be with you.”

You scoffed, still riding his hand. “You know nothing of it,” you muttered. “You don’t need to say that to me. I don’t need sympathy.”

Jungkook’s thumb then started stroking your clit, his fingers rubbing against your folds, breaking you out of your rhythm and making you gasp his name. “You know what? You’re right. I don’t feel bad for you, because you chose to be with him. I just think it was a waste that you dated this guy and you never got to experience this. Bet he didn’t even make you cum.”

You growled then, anger infusing with your arousal, and you covered his hand on your pussy and pressed down, rubbing harder to get more friction. “Shut up.”

“Oh, we’re sensitive about it,” he mocked, removing his hand. You whined at the loss of contact. “My hand’s soaked, you were dripping out of your panties. Gonna fuck you now, alright?”

Your breath caught in your throat, but you nodded anyway. “Yeah, fine.”

“Go lay back by the pillows,” he told you, “since you probably want it missionary right? I was gonna ask you to ride me, but I think that might be too much for you. Want me in control?” Jungkook’s tone was a little teasing, but you could tell he was looking out for you, trying to assess what would make you feel good.

“You can be in control,” you mumbled, climbing up your bed and laying down like he instructed. “Just… start slow, okay?”

He hummed. “I’ll try, but I’ve been thinking about how tight you are all night. I mean two years… fuck.” In the dark, you could make out the outline of him. He unbuttoned his shirt. Then you heard him unbuckling his belt. His clothes fell in a pile on the floor. It was when the bed shifted that you knew he was climbing up over your body, kneeling between your legs.

Two fingers hooked into your panties. “Okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you breathed, doing the work for him and peeling your panties down your legs in a rush, exposing yourself fully to him. “Um, I’m assuming you have condoms, because you sure as fuck know I don’t.”

He chuckled. “Yes, I already put it on.”

“Oh, okay good. Sorry, I’m a little out of sorts.”

“You still wanna do this? It’s okay to say no. We can stop everything right now,” Jungkook told you, placing his hand gently on your knee. For a fuckboy in college, he was remarkably considerate.

“Hell no,” you muttered. “No way we’re stopping. You promised me you’d fuck me and you promised it’d be good.” Your tone bordered on pouting but you couldn’t be bothered to care. “I just wanna feel good, okay?” You spread your knees, reaching out your hand. “Please make me feel good, Jungkook, please?” you said quietly, whining for his touch in an attempt to trigger a dominant kink he probably had buried somewhere.

“Shit,” he muttered, spreading your knee further open. You jolted when suddenly his fingers touched your wet pussy, wedging between your lips and spreading your wetness around your entrance. “Really? Just gonna beg me to fuck you like that, huh? God, why are the inexperienced ones always so fucking needy, it’s so hot.” He definitely liked being a dominant. “I gotta get you a little more ready, okay? If you’re gonna take my cock, you gotta take my fingers first.”

You nodded frantically, clenching your stomach as you felt the initial intrusion. Slowly, inch by inch, he sheathed two fingers fully inside you. The stretch was uncomfortable, but not as painful as you expected—but then again, you hadn’t been touched in two years and you were so wet your underwear had to be peeled off you.

“Feel okay?” Jungkook asked. “You’re so tight, god. I need to stretch you out a little more. Can you take three fingers?”

“That’s fine, I can take it,” you said, grimacing when you felt another digit enter your tight hole. “Wait, slower please,” you winced.

Jungkook complied, taking his time to move his long fingers in and out, his thumb slowly circling your clit. Jungkook hooked his fingers and brushed against your upper wall. In response, you cried out.

“Ah… wait, keep going, that feels good,” you whimpered. And then a door slammed. You yelped.

For a moment, you froze. “Sounds like your roommate’s home,” Jungkook whispered, followed by a devious chuckle. “Wanna make you moan again, want him to hear you,” he urged, circling his thumb quicker around your clit and pressing his fingers deeper inside.

“Jungkook,” you moaned, barely over a whisper.

“Come on, you were just making so much noise, why’d you quiet down? Don’t you want Jimin to hear how good I’m making you feel?”

Indecision clouded your brain. You were two warring halves. One part of you was embarrassed. You weren’t the girl who went out and brought someone home. You were never that adventurous, never that sexy. This didn’t feel like you.

But a needier part of you wanted to prove that it could be. And as twisted as it was, you wanted Jimin to hear you. You wanted him to know that he wasn’t the only one who could fuck around.

You let out a kittenish mewl as Jungkook rubbed your clit furiously. You brought him down for a messy, wet kiss. Entangling your fingers in his hair, you slipped your tongue into his parted lips and licked into his mouth. The pressure below your stomach was building and you arched your back.

“That’s more like it,” Jungkook praised as he pulled away. His fingers slipped out of you. “Need my cock in you now,” he said, lining up his cock with your entrance. In the dark, all you had to go by was feeling, and the head of his cock felt massive against you. He rubbed it against your folds, swirling your juices with his precum, brushing his cock against your clit a couple times.

“Oh my god,” you breathed, spreading your knees wider to accommodate him, but the action felt futile. He was big, he was going to stretch you out, and it was going to hurt. Inevitable. “Okay, I’m ready,” you told him, trying to unclench and relax as much as possible, but the anticipation was still making you tense.

Jungkook pushed in, holding his shaft and slowly getting deeper. You cried out, digging your nails into your mattress. The pain was worse than you thought. If you’d gotten a look at Jungkook’s cock, you would’ve had a better idea of what you were getting into.

“You okay?” Jungkook grunted. He propped up one of your knees and you were happy to accept the help. Your energy was slowly being drained, all of it being used to breathe through the intrusion that was splitting you in half.

“Ye-yeah, I’m good,” you panted, “are you, are you almost in?”

“Um, like halfway,” he said. “Can you take anymore?”

“Yes,” you said with resolve, “yes. Keep going, just go slow, please.” You held onto the pillow above your head, turning to your side and squeezing your eyes shut. You didn’t recall losing even your virginity being this intense.

After what felt like hours, Jungkook filled you to the hilt. He was panting above you. “Shit, I didn’t think you’d be this fucking tight. It still hurts a lot, doesn’t it? Tell me to stop, and I will. Or just tell me when you want me to move.”

You gasped, trying to even out your breathing. The pain was starting to subside, giving way to an aching between your legs, uncomfortable, but not intolerable. “Move, now,” you gritted out.

Jungkook started pulling out and you inhaled sharply through your nose. This wasn’t the hot, fast hookup you envisioned. This wouldn’t be easy, but you were going to stick it out until it felt good. You owed yourself that.

“Better?” Jungkook asked when he was halfway in.

“A little,” you winced when he was almost out, just his tip at your entrance, “just, start moving. I just need to get used to it.”

You heard his exhale of relief. His sweat was starting to meld with yours. He must’ve really been holding himself back. Slowly, he pushed back in. He held himself up with one hand braced on either side of your head, his hips pushing into you with precision.

After a few minutes, the pain became a dull ache. Your pained groans turned into a staccatoed gasp. “That’s good, that feels good,” you whispered.

“Really? Want it faster?” Jungkook muttered.

You nodded, a wistful sigh. “Yeah. Thanks,” you panted, “for going slow. I’m good now, I promise. Just, fuck me, fuck me please.”

Jungkook didn’t need to be told twice. He readjusted, hiking up your knee and leaning forward. The new angle let him go deeper and faster. He snapped his hips into you, shaking free gasps and moans from your throat. “Good. I knew you could do it, I knew you could take my cock well. Love hearing how good I make you feel. Don’t hold back, yeah? Be a good little needy slut and moan loud for me,” he growled. He pushed down the cups of your bra until your breasts were freed. He cupped one of them, squeezing. “Feels so fucking good inside you, so soft inside this dripping cunt,” he groaned.

Jungkook rutted his hips faster, almost aggressively. “Oh my god, Jungkook, I’ve never been fucked like this,” you gasped. Your toes curled and you wrapped your legs around Jungkook’s waist, bringing him closer to you. The pressure at the junction of your bodies was mounting, on the verge of snapping. You were going to fall apart soon. “Fuckfuckfuck I’m so close, please, please make me cum Jungkook, keep going just like that,” you whimpered, certain that if he stopped now you would lose your mind, what little of it was still intact.

His thumb started circling your clit again, his face tucked into the crook of your neck, his lips whispering obscenities into the bruised skin there. “Gonna come for me, huh?” he mumbled, his words punctuated by the slap of his pelvis against yours. “Gonna come all over my cock like the filthy little slut we both know you are?” Jungkook sped up, his hips slamming into you now. High pitched moans spilled out of your throat as you moaned his name. “There you go baby girl, say my name. Don’t let Jimin doubt for one second what’s going on there, what I’m doing to you, what he’s missing out on.”

“Oh my god,” you mumbled, completely beside yourself now that Jimin was once again in your thoughts, the cut of his hip bones when he walked around shirtless, the veins that resided there and along his toned arms, the lingering touch he left on your shoulder, the cut of his jawline, that angry look on his face after he saw you kissing Jungkook, his pretty pretty face, those pillowy lips, how good he sounded all those nights you overheard him fucking someone else, his low grunts, how it would feel if it was Jimin between your thighs right now sliding in and out of you.

And then you were coming. “Fuck,” you hissed, “oh my god, oh my god, please, please Jungkook,” you almost sobbed. Nothing you’d ever accomplished with your hand, your dildo, or your ex had ever made you feel like this. The burst of pleasure was palpable in every corner of your body. Your body was quivering and your hands sought purchase in Jungkook’s hair, his shoulders, your pillow, anywhere to cling to and anchor yourself to something.

Jungkook came after a few more sloppy thrusts with a drawn out groan, filling you completely. When it was over, he pulled out and peeled off the condom, and fell on the bed beside you. Neither of you said anything. You couldn’t even if you wanted to. All you remembered when you dozed off was feeling jolts and tingles on your sex for minutes after you came, hearing your heartbeat pounding in your ears, and Jungkook’s exhausted pants to your side.

In the morning when you woke up, Jungkook was gone, leaving you alone to deal with the consequences of your spontaneous night of debauchery with a stranger, aka, a sleep-deprived, confused, and very angry Park Jimin.

#jungkook x reader #jimin x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #jimin fanfic #bts smut #reader x jungkook #reader x jimin #jungkook imagine #jimin imagine #jimin smut #bts imagines #bts imagine #jungkook imagines #jimin imagines

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obtusemedia · 6 years

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Top 25 Songs of 2018: Honorable Mentions

It’s year-end list season again! And with that comes my sixth annual top 25 list.

But before we countdown the best that 2018 gave us, here’s 15 songs that just missed the cut. Like in 2017, this year had more quantity than quality when it came to singles, meaning although there were only a couple legitimate contenders for the top spot, there were plenty of solid songs that I had to give a shout out to. So apologies to great acts like boygenius, Florence+The Machine and Childish Gambino (although he easily had the best music video this year) for just missing the cut.

Let’s get into it!

“Nobody” by Mitski

There are plenty of songs about loneliness, but Mitski turns that emotion into insanity on “Nobody.”

Her emotions ramp up and become more desperate throughout the indie-pop track, as Mitski’s pleads for companionship intensify. She wants to find love, but frankly, she also just needs human connection. And as the one-word chorus repeats into oblivion — “Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody...” the situation becomes more and more helpless.

My main issue with Mitski’s 2018 album, Be The Cowboy, was that most of the short vignette-style songs weren’t memorable. That’s not the case for the manic, disco-tinged “Nobody,” which instantly became a standout in her impressive catalog.

“Heat Wave” by Snail Mail

I’m not sure what it says about indie rock that its most hyped newcomer is mostly copying the sounds of the ‘90s, but when the tunes are as good as “Heat Wave,” I’m not going to complain.

Nineteen-year-old prodigy Lindsey Jordan, aka Snail Mail, delivers with a simple love song perfect for lazy summer days. Jordan’s vocals are charmingly warbly and mesh well with the crunchy guitars that wouldn’t sound out of place on a Pavement album. It’s catchy enough for soccer moms and with enough alt-rock nostalgia to grab any indie rocker’s ear. There’s a good reason Snail Mail’s star has shot to the top this year among the Pitchfork set.

“Me and Michael” by MGMT

IT’S THE COMEBACK OF THE CENTURY!

That’s not even hyperbole: After they released three generation-defining classic singles, MGMT’s relevance disappeared after their 2010 album Congratulations intentionally alienated audiences (despite being pretty solid). Then, their 2013 self-titled album was straight-up bad.

But thankfully, MGMT decided to return to the synthpop jams that brought them success 11 years ago, while keeping their weirdo quirks intact. And it was a winning formula, as the bombastic single “Me and Michael” proves.

“Michael” is painfully ‘80s, from the glittery keyboards to the thundering drum machine beat. Yet, many of the instruments are off-key and frontman Andrew VanWyngarden’s hipstery vocals aren’t exactly Duran Duran-esque. And the clash of styles helps create a solid tune, the band’s best in eight years.

“Elastic” by Joey Purp

Remember how Azealia Banks used to pump out hip-house bangers like it wasn’t even hard? Then she lost her mind, and now “212″ is a relic of a better time.

Thankfully, Chicago native Joey Purp is picking up the slack, although he puts a much more minimalist spin on the sound. “Elastic” is a very simple, skeletal song, with Purp nearly mumbling over a steady, bouncing beat with couple vocal samples to liven things up. “Elastic” shows that when it comes to club bangers, you really don’t need to overthink things.

“Nameless, Faceless” by Courtney Barnett

Melbourne indie rocker Courtney Barnett’s second album, Tell Me How You Really Feel, had a noticeably more frustrated outlook than her 2015 debut. A prime example is the album’s lead single, “Nameless, Faceless,” all about the difficulties of being a woman in a world that treats them horribly.

Barnett goes after internet trolls during the song’s verses with the droll, snarky tone that made her indie-famous, but the chorus is where things take a dark turn. Paraphrasing The Handmaid’s Tale author Margaret Atwood, Barnett sings, “Men are scared that women will laugh at them ... Women are scared that men will kill them.” She then adds that she holds her keys between her fingers in-between her fingers to protect herself at night.

It’s a fearful song for fearful times, and more proof that Barnett is one of indie rock’s best songwriters.

“Electricity” by Silk City and Dua Lipa

Producer giants Diplo and Mark Ronson teamed up to create a perfect homage to ‘90s house. It’s bouncy, effervescent, and features one of pop’s best voices: Dua Lipa. The fact that a dance jam this perfect was only barely a hit in the U.S. is a total shame.

“After The Storm” by Kali Uchis feat. Tyler, The Creator and Bootsy Collins

I’m not typically an R&B guy, but I couldn’t resist newcomer Kali Uchis’ debut Isolation this year, especially its smooth throwback single, “After The Storm.”

Uchis glides over the off-key synth backdrop, expressing post-breakup optimism with ease. The sticky melody and relaxed vibe are helped out by a blast of smooth (if off-kilter) loverman shtick from Tyler, The Creator and some fun adlibs from funk icon Bootsy Collins. But this is Uchis’ show, and she barely needs to lift a finger to hold listeners’ command.

“Please Don’t Die” by Father John Misty

After releasing an overstuffed and underwhelming album last year, Father John Misty, AKA singer-songwriter Josh Tillman, decided to keep it simple this year, and I’m back on his bandwagon.

One reason for that is how blunt and personal his songwriting is again, particularly on “Please Don’t Die.” Tillman’s concept album God’s Favorite Customer focuses on the real-life story of how his depression caused him to hide out in a hotel for two straight months, and the heartbreaking “Please Don’t Die” tackles this scenario from the singer’s wife’s point of view.

She constantly reminds Tillman that his potential suicide won’t be a victimless crime during the soaring chorus, and he laments how his spiraling has affected her in the somber verses. There’s no snarky winks to the audience here — just Tillman nakedly depicting how his emotional chaos effected those around him.

“My My My!” by Troye Sivan

I never paid too much attention to Australian former YouTuber Troye Sivan. Now I’m regretting that choice, thanks to “My My My!”

Pure bubblegum pop doesn’t play much of a role in today’s music landscape, so it’s hard to call any version of that subgenre “modern,” but that’s honestly how I would describe this jam. It’s a slice of stuttering tropical pop with some indie and ‘80s flavor to it, and Sivan himself sells the tune like he’d been singing these types of songs for years in a boy band. I’ll be keeping tabs on Sivan from here on out.

“Light On” by Maggie Rogers

Last year, I was floored by Maggie Rogers’ unique blend of rootsy nature sounds with blue-eyed soul, particularly in her stellar single “Dog Years.” It seems like she isn’t fixing what ain’t broken, as “Light On” is a continuation of that sound.

Although it isn’t quite as transcendent as her early singles, “Light On” is still a quality power ballad, with a nice mix of acoustic guitar and organic synths, complete with a showstopping, melancholy chorus. Rogers still knows her way around a gorgeous melody, and I’m sure she’ll continue to fill her niche as the best music you’ll probably hear at REI.

“The Opener” by Camp Cope

Camp Cope have had it up to here with shitty men, and “The Opener” is a scathing indictment of the hypocrisy the trio constantly face.

Lead singer Georgia McDonald wails over a ‘90s alt-rock groove about sexism both in the dating world as well as the music industry. The latter is where she reserves her sharpest lines, going after men who’ve said her success isn’t her own doing, and being told to book smaller venues by the same guys who will “preach equality” in public. And of course, how do these men in power maintain their faux-feminist image? “‘Just get a female opener, that’ll fill the quota.’” Scathing.

“We Appreciate Power” by Grimes feat. HANA

If “We Appreciate Power,” the (as of writing this) brand-new Grimes single, was trimmed by a minute or so, it might have made the actual list. It’s a smidge on the repetitive side at its current 5:30-length.

But dear lord: This is a BANGER. As just about every critic has said, the production here is an aggro mix of Nine Inch Nails and Korn, complete with squealing guitars, a pounding, synthetic beat and some random screams thrown in the mix for fun. And yes — it works. Put it on during the next workout and see how fast you start going.

Throw in some legitimately creepy lyrics about artificial intelligence and totalitarianism and you’ve got a classic Grimes single. If only it was a bit shorter...

“Lake Erie” by Wild Pink

For a band from Brooklyn, Wild Pink are shockingly good at creating music that sounds like the sun setting on a Midwestern corn field.

“Lake Erie” is so close to The War On Drugs’ signature sound — heartland rock mixed with whispered vocals and shoegaze-y atmospherics — that I’d call it a ripoff, if it wasn’t arguably better than anything The War On Drugs has put out in a few years. It’s emotive, gorgeous and not too pretentious, like something Bruce Springsteen could’ve released 35 years ago.

“Noid” by Yves Tumor

No, unfortunately, “Noid” isn’t about retro Domino’s ads. It’s much darker than a claymation pizza mascot.

Yves Tumor’s art-rock track is fairly normal for its first half. It even has shades of Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On” in the lyrics wondering about the sad state of the world. Then, things get weird: the bass starts playing in a different key, the background fills with static and screams, and Yves Tumor keeps singing along, and his lyrics about being “scared for my life” start to seem less like a protest anthem and more like a horror soundtrack. It’s a chilling experience.

“Party For One” by Carly Rae Jepsen

Queen Carly releases another pop banger and you think it’s not going on my list? Come on, now.

I’m not going to pretend like “Party For One,” Jepsen’s triumphant breakup anthem, is on the same level as her all-time classic singles. It’s the kind of bubblegum that she could write in her sleep.

But why penalize a perfectly great song just because the artist has done better in the past? “Party For One” might not be “Run Away With Me,” but it’s still a solid piece of synth cheese that no doubt makes Canada proud.

#top 25 songs of 2018 #pop #rap #indie rock

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bizarre-dollhouse · 7 years

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Animation Direction and Aesthetic Appeal: Why I Didn’t Like Book of the Atlantic

For the record, if you really loved Book of the Atlantic and thought it looked great and/or are sick of people bitching about it, you probably won’t want to read this post.

If you didn’t like the movie, thought the movie looked terrible, are curious about how and why people don’t like it, or, most importantly, want to read about aesthetic techniques and how they relate to anime in general, please continue.

I want to really talk about animation, visual direction, and adaption techniques, and I want to use Kuroshitsuji: Book of the Atlantic as a negative example, because I soooo wanted to love this movie and ended up really disliking it.

For the most part, this post is just me getting something off of my chest, because I feel like there’s this grand misunderstanding held by people who didn’t like the movie about why the movie looked bad.

I just disagree with the consensus so strongly that I...I have to make a post about it. Because every review I’ve seen of this movie mentions how just the cgi is bad, or it just looks like they didn’t have enough money amiright?

I just think it is so much more interesting complicated than that.

Lots of text under the cut.

I’ll just get the basics out of the way: the cgi does not look well integrated and some of the background faces are derpy.

Moving on.

Part 1: Something to keep in mind:

Anime movies tend to look better than weekly anime tv shows because they are given both more time and a higher budget. This is why so many people thought it was unfair that A Silent Voice was up for Best Animation in the Crunchy Roll awards.

This is kind of unimportant but I would like you to keep it in mind while reading the rest of this post.

Part 2: What does good animation even mean?

I’ve heard a defence for the movie’s lacklustre animation is that it looks like all of the money went towards the fight scenes, or that the fight scenes make up for everything.

I’ve seen the fight scene between Sebastian, the reapers, and Undertaker a few times and I’ll admit, there are a few nice cuts early on with some very dynamic dodges and attacks, but after that it’s a lot of easier techniques, like held poses, slow motion falls, cut aways, frame movement, etc. The fight scene as a whole I would (personally) consider to be pretty “meh.”

This might sound kind of harsh, but even if you totally disagree with me and think the fight scene looked great, that just means it looks nice.

That fight scene is not especially well animated.

What takes up the most time and money in animation is the amount and detail of movement (key animation). Look at any important fight scene from FMAB, or BNHA, or the early episodes of Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress. Those big fight scenes have a lot of key frames and details, and they all have wwwaaaay more key animation than the big fight in BotA despite being weekly tv shows.

One Punch Man is a great example because the animation in that show is fucking stellar and the director straight up said that the budget for One Punch Man is not much higher than a typical tv anime budget. Time and skill are the more important factors.

So, not speaking from the perspective of visual appeal, but from the perspective of animation quality, the big reaper fight scene in BotA isn’t that good.

Even the scene everyone raves about, where Lizzy fight all of the zombies: there’s a nice cut of her steps and a cool shot where she stabs one of the zombies in the head from above, but her sword then turns into a flash and we don’t see many details involving aim or choreography. Her stabbing them through the hallway also doesn’t have any real choreography other than her running and spinning once. After she stops to talk to Ciel, the scene gets a little more dynamic with more complicated moves, but it’s shot from far away and still has few key frames. I’ll admit I think it still looks kind of cool and maybe better than how it looked in the manga, but I don’t even think it’s close to the level of quality that’s in a lot of Bones shows.

Anyways, even if you’re in the majority camp and think these scenes look good, compare them to any of the shows mentioned above and you’ll see that even if they look good, they wouldn’t be especially difficult or expensive to animate, and aren’t impressive from a technical standpoint.

Part 3: Make a collage with those cut corners

Shifting focus a little bit, let’s talk about Higurashi.

Higurashi is one of my top 10 favourite shows (I highly recommend it if you’re not too squeamish). This show also looks awful. Like, really awful. There’s barely any movement, the characters are off model almost 100% of the time, and it has a very simplistic art style.

Despite being outright ugly, Higurashi still visually impresses me more than BotA because of one very simple, yet very very important fact:

The director and animators are trying their best.

Check out the scene in this gif set (gore warning). There’s a shadow silhouette, repetitive movement, and not much detail in the eyes, so it’s not technically impressive in terms of animation, but the way that the screen shakes when the bat lands, the lower angle used to put Keiichi in a dominating position of the frame, and the colour blur expressing the fact that this is both very emotionally intense and set at a different time make my brain say “ah yes, thought was put into making this scene look good with limited resources.”

Simpler yet is this scene, where it’s just two characters standing and talking while being atrociously off model. But the way they’re placed on the screen (ie parallel but opposing) is both cool visually and thematically relevant. It’s got a nice colour pallet, too.

Higurashi likes to play around with visual perspectives. This scene (violence warning) has no animation in the first gif and repetitive, fast movements in the second, but it takes the perspective of a man about to be beat to death with a baseball bat, which still makes it feel tense.

There’s another top fucking notch scene where someone is digging their own throat out with their finger nails, and instead of showing what would be a difficult scene to animate, they have a zoom in on the character’s back from the perspective of an impending threat that may or may not exist closing in on him and it’s terrifying despite the fact that nothing is animated.

Directing choices like these are extremely common in Higurashi.

Another slightly less obvious example would be Princess Tutu (which is one of my top 5 favourite shows that I recommend to everyone). Princess Tutu has very very few moments of sakuga and lots of repeated animation and kind of inconsistent movement in some scenes.

It looks cheaply made and is not well animated, but literally no one gives a fuck because that show has beautiful character designs, beautiful colour design, and interesting/creative set pieces.

The point is it’s 100% possible to make a cheap as fuck, poorly animated show and not have it look terrible.

I guess this is just my opinion, but when I compare the visual direction in Higurashi and the art of Princess Tutu to the flat, poorly blocked, and underwhelming visuals that make up a lot of BotA, I grow significantly less impressed with it.

The production team stuck pretty damn close to the manga, but the manga looks good because the panels are highly detailed illustrations that are specifically designed to look good when they are standing still and in black and white. They are also placed on a page which controls the visual pacing and lets you fill in movement with your imagination.

Translating this directly into animation but taking out the detail and shading in the illustrations and having the movements look worse than they did in my imagination does...not...look as good.

Part 4: Adapt

Let’s say, hypothetically, that BotA had fewer resources than most anime movies for some reason (money, time, staff, etc.). Sure, I don’t know the behind the scenes details. I doubt this was the case, but it very well might be.

.......Then why did they adapt the source material the way they did?

The manga for Kuroshitusji is fucking gorgeous and has some really iconic panels. For example, check out this post comparing a beautiful panel with the same scene from BotA.

...Why? Why would you make it that way?

Is it because you think it’ll please the fans to keep it the same? Because you wanted to cut a corner and use the manga as a storyboard?

Because it sure as fuck wasn’t because it would look good in the anime adaptation.

If the director and/or animators wanted to do the same scene but with limited resources, they could have maybe cropped it so it focused just on the undertaker’s face and the girl’s face, and then focus on making that look pretty and/or detailed. They wouldn’t have to put extra time and effort into drawing a nice full body shot, but they could still have it look good.

I came up with that time and money saving idea in less than 10 seconds and I’m not even a god damned animation director.

This goes back to my previous point, where it can be possible to make a passible looking show with limited resources, but this movie opted for sticking to the source material even though they really couldn’t do it justice.

Which is fine!!!! Embrace stylism!!! Kill la Kill has some goofy looking fight scenes with cut outs and cheeky techniques, but it does it in a way that builds the environment of the show and works within that universe because it’s clearly a part of the style.

Heck, studio Shaft practically gets away with murder by embracing weird styles with some of their older, cheaper shows.

Those particular styles almost definitely wouldn’t work with BotA, but find your own! Adapting the source material means exactly that: adapt it. Change it in a way that makes it just as good, if not better, than the original product in this new format.

In fact, I remember 2 scenes I thought looked pretty cool in this movie: one where it’s showing how the bizarre dolls work and the animation goes all Madoka Magica, and one where it shows this shadowy version of Sebastian before he makes his contract.

Both of those scenes have a style that is unique to animation and were not in the original manga.

I mean I guess it’s somewhat admirable that they were trying to stick to the source material, but they just...didn’t do it well.

Part 5: Does anyone here know CPR?! Because we need to breathe some life into this movie!

LITERALLY ALL OF MY PROBLEMS WITH BOOK OF THE ATLANTIC CAN BE EXPLAINED IN ONE SCENE.

IT’S KIND OF INCREDIBLE HOW MUCH THIS SUMS IT UP.

So there’s this scene in the manga where Ciel thinks he’s about to watch Lizzy get eaten by zombies and is, understandably, pretty torn up about it, as seen here:

This is a really great panel: Ciel’s face is expressive, the sea water makes it ambiguous whether or not he’s crying or sweating, and it’s from a unique angle that ensures his face and desperately reaching arm are both in the foreground.

Here’s the same scene in the movie:

Ciel’s face is less expressive, the angle is a lot simpler, and minute visual details are straight up omitted.

It’s like “yeah, we’re practically using the manga as storyboards*”

*unless the panel is like, hard to draw or expressive to the point where it might look off model.

I feel like the studio was deeply afraid of using animation that was too off model for reasons I don’t understand. Maybe it’s because they were afraid that the characters would look too unattractive but like...

it’s okay to have a character look a little fucked up if they feel a little fucked up.

Returning to Higurashi: that horror series has become famous for its highly emotive facial expressions.

Check out Rena’s furious face in the fourth gif of this set.

Or Rika’s super fucked up expression when suffering intense harm.

Or the sheer intense terror in Keiichi’s eyes in this gif and this gif set.

Like sure, the show looks like garbage and has lots of other derpy, off model faces, but they clearly had an idea of what they were going for and how to use animation as acting.

I feel that maaaybe the production team for BotA confused looking ugly (having faces distorted by emotion) for looking bad, but that’s 100% speculation.

Part of my reasoning for that speculation is in the following scene:

So, in the manga/BotA, Sebastian and Ciel run into Druitt, and the scene plays out like a well timed joke when Druitt asks them how they know him and they go like this

and it’s funny.

The exact same punchline is in the movie but it looks like this

like, the idea of the joke still comes across, but the expressions aren’t as humorously exaggerated and the joke isn’t as funny as a result.

This is also a scene where I don’t want to hear any “this scene looks bad because of money” arguments because drawing the simplistic expression from the manga would have been easier and less time consuming.

Again, let’s look at the comedic scenes from Higurashi:

This particular style probably wouldn’t look good in a Kuro adaption but the idea is that you can deform facial expressions for the sake of joke and sometimes it will make the joke funnier.

The point is also that Higurashi is a really well directed show despite being poorly animated. Can you tell I’m pushing Higurashi?

Please do not misunderstand this point: BotA for the most part has fine facial expressions that communicate the desired emotion. It’s fine. My point is that they probably should have been more daring with their creative choices to make certain scenes more emotionally/comedically effective.

In fact, part of the appeal of animation as a medium is the ability to play with reality through drawings.

Or just, you know, just draw a kid looking sad from a nice angle.

Conclusions:

Kuroshitsuji: Book of the Atlantic is obviously not the worst movie ever. In fact, there are quite a few scenes with good animation, good framing and competent direction.

(Ooh, I should have mentioned this earlier, but there is a legitimately good cut where Sebastian and Ciel are reaching for each other and it shows blood appearing before you see Seb get stabbed. This was a good choice and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it was not in the manga.)

I can totally see someone saying this movie looks good, and that’s a perfectly justified opinion, I just strongly disagree when looking at the overall product and how it compares to the manga and pretty much every other decently made show/movie.

I’m just upset because this arc in the manga is amazing and the most cinematic, and it clearly was not adapted to its full potential. And now it probably never will be.

Please let the impossible happen and let Bones or Madhouse get the rights for the Green Witch arc and make an amazing adaption. Pleeeaaaassseee.

When I die I want A-1 Pictures to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time.

That being said, if you have not seen this movie and (for whatever reason) are dead set against ever reading the manga; give this movie a watch. The story’s utterly fantastic and it’s a...watchable...movie.

But here’s the moral of this whole post:

Book of the Atlantic does not look bad just because it looks cheap. .

Book of the Atlantic looks bad because it looks bad.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Tal-- *passes out*

#kuroshitsuji #black butler #book of the atlantic #higurashi no naku koro ni #text

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oceanbreaks · 6 years

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T A S K T H R E E : Q U E S T I O N N A I R E

⋆ ◦ ° ☾ 001. GENERAL.

does your character have any nicknames ? no, that’s sad someone give him one, make it stupid - like boo bear.

when was your character born ? november 11th, 1984.

where was your character born ? valdez, colorado.

is your character allergic to anything ? nah, this bitch invincible.

does your character have any illnesses ? a doctor a day keeps the apple away.

what is your character’s mbti type ? enfp, the campaigner.

what is your character’s economic status ? upper middle-class.

⋆ ◦ ° ☾ 002. APPEARANCE.

what is the color of your character’s eyes ? hazel , i think.

what is the color and texture of your character’s hair ? ramen noodles.

how tall is your character ? six foot, yeet . his only redeeming quality imo .

what is your character’s body type ? lanky af, might break if u step on him.

does your character have any scars ?scarification cos he’s an edgy bitch, prick marks, picked scabs scars.

what is your character’s post prominent feature ? this dicc . kidding xd , his brows be thicc.

does your character have any body modifications ? no piercings, too many tattoos.

what is your character’s clothing style ? mismatched everything.

what does your character’s voice sound like ? annoying.

what does your character smells like ? weed, irish spring-old spice infusion, but mostly weed.

what are some unique mannerisms ( talking with their hands, accents, talking fast, etc ) your character has ? so many hand gestures, put them in your pockets fool.

⋆ ◦ ° ☾ 003. FAMILY.

does your character have any siblings ?yeet, an older brother. we kinda stan, sometimes.

what are the names of your character’s parents ? are they still alive ? jane and ryan, they’re the whitest suburban parents okay don’t hold their names against them.

does your character have any children ?not that he knows of.

does your character have a spouse ? no, thank god.

who is your character’s favorite family member ? probably his brother uwu.

did they ever live with their family ? if so, how old were they when they left home ? yeppers, lived with them until he went to college.

does your character want to have children ? or do they want more, if they already have them ? yeah he wouldn’t mind, if it happened he’d be excited but like wldn’t put the effort in to be like hyfr kids !

⋆ ◦ ° ☾ 004. FAVORITES.

season: one of true detective. he doesn’t care for the weather !

curse word: shit, that was a classic.

food: pizza, basic bitch.

book: what’s reading.

artist: fábio magalhães , disgusting .

animal: it’s weird to have a favourite animal and thas the fax.

tv show: mind hunter, the twilight zone.

movie: videodrome and don’t u forget it .

social media: y-y-youtube. ( also twitter & facebook ).

⋆ ◦ ° ☾ 005. PERSONALITY.

is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted ? he acts like a dumbass but he’s smart-ish, he literally has a masters in film criticism, i mean u gotta be kinda smart to bullshit right.

what does your character want from a partner ? what do they think and feel of sex ? constant love and attention, sex is cool but watching your partner appreciate ur favourite part of ur favourite movie ? just as orgasmic .

what are your character’s weaknesses ? he’s a bad bitch u can’t kill him.

how well does your character accept / own up to their own mistakes ? how do they deal with the mistakes of others ? he owns up to his mistakes all the time, cos he makes a lot of them xd , he’s pretty forgiving but like . . [ gay judgement ]

is your character pragmatic ? responsible ? reckless? i’m tasha, im 20 and i never learned the definition of pragmatic, good thing he’s reckless then.

how is your character’s imagination ? daydreaming a lot ? worried most of the time ? he doesn’t daydream per se but he has a lot of ideas that he’ll let you know about.

is your character aware of who they are ? of their strengths and weaknesses ?no, he’s oblivious. but ignorance is bliss yeet, it makes him invincible again , he’s a bad bitch. you can’t kill him.

how they react when facing a stranger’s suffering ? what about the suffering of their loved ones ? [ gay panic ] with strangers and [ gay judgement ] with family.

how do they feel about their physical body ? hates it, a shoddy vessel for an excellent soul.

what do other people think your character’s worst quality is ? well he’s a fuckin deadbeat so maybe jot that down.

is your character an introvert or an extrovert ? extrovert , disgusting.

⋆ ◦ ° ☾ 006. EXPERIENCES.

has your character ever been arrested ? petty crimes, his parents always bailed him out tho shoutout to them uwu.

has your character ever cheated on a partner ? no, he fucks with monogamy ok ):

has your character ever been cheated on by a partner? no, none of his relationships have ever lasted long enough dhfjg

has your character ever been in love ? how did it turn out ? well ya, probably. how all relationships turn out, down the shithole.

has your character ever had sex ? what was their first time like ? he sure has, it was drunken and awkward and endearing in that way ig.

what was your character’s first party like ? drunken and awkward and endearing in that way. prolly blacked out.

who was your character’s first love ? redacted cos i’m too tired to head canon.

what is their best childhood memory ? what about the worst ? getting into shenanigans with his brother. worst - anything involving his parents and their sad eyes ’n judgement, gross.

what’s the most terrible thing that ever happened to your character ? when he woke up in a literal garbage dumb and got literal rabies and had to get a literal tetanus shot. that and the time he was constipated for like six days straight , ugh.

what are some past occupations your character has had, if any ? he’s delivered pizzas, glenn rhee is quaking. kidding he outsells ly boo.

what are their most embarrassing memory ? any time he’s shat his pants, there’s no way for it not to be embarrassing - no matter how many times it happens.

have they ever done charity work ? um no .. lmao.

⋆ ◦ ° ☾ 007. QUIRKS.

does your character drink ? do they take drugs ? imagine if i said no.

what is your character’s most prized possession ? stupid film mementos given to him by stupid film ppl.

what are three things you can always find in your character’s wallet / purse ? condoms ( i say this as if he ever gets laid ), cash, cards.

what are your character’s bad habits ? his whole life, that and he leaves the toilet seat up.

is your character a night owl or early bird ? night owl, hoot hoot.

do they prefer crunchy or smooth peanut butter ? s-s-smooth?

do they prefer netflix or hulu ?both.

do they prefer cats or dogs ? dogs.

are they left handed, right handed or ambidextrous ? left handed, quirky bitch.

⋆ ◦ ° ☾ 008. RANDOM.

did your character like school ? what was their favorite subject ? [ me in 2k12 vc ] i love learning, i just hate homework and like, school and applying things. english ):

is your character good at their job ? hell yeah fr !

what is your character’s dream job ? doesn’t have one, legend.

what is your character afraid of ? what keeps them up at night ? not being in control of bodily functions, aging.

what did your character’s childhood home look like ? was it in valdez ? it sure was, and it was white picket fence suburbia. v cute.

what is your character’s level of comfort with technology ? decent. he knows how to troubleshoot and stuff, he doesn’t use computers for that much though.

what is a talent your character thinks they have but is very wrong about ?singing … sweaty … hush … this is why the band died.

what is a talent your character actually has ? driving , is that a talent ? no ? ok, then having swag.

what does your character’s home look like? listen their apartment is nice ok, it’s just made ugly by bobby’s presence.

#valdez.task003 #i truly lost my last braincells writing this #frances will come later );

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lecherouswritings · 6 years

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Earlier on this blog I did a large, basic outline of Rat’s plot with MANY details and interactions redacted for the sake of making something easy to read and not a blatant script. The structures of the writings I post here are more for my memory’s sake and not actual prose or even thought-provoking? It’s so I can keep track of where I was in the story comparing where I am now. The stories change up a lot, as do the characters, but some have been around for so long that the changes they make are minor. I thought it might be kind of fun to “go off” on some stuff I want to touch on in Rat’s plot. I get a lot of this stuff is masturbatory self-fulfiling stuff and I don’t expect anyone to give it a read so don’t feel any pressure haha. It’s always done for myself, but I appreciate anyone who takes the time regardless.

Rat goes through several personality changes. When I had originally wrote out this plot, before tumblr, Rat was kind of this idol that people took with them, and his presence where ever they took him was disruptive, like a bad omen. Almost like he’s hibernating the whole plot until one day he breaks free from his cocoon and is the Devil. I examined it and heard other people’s ideas and felt that wasn’t really good enough. I wanted Rat to be more involved. In fact, my characters are very interactive with me on a daily basis, and I want to be able to share the voices that interact with me. It has to go through me and I’m not the best converting tool, but I’m giving it my best shot so bear with me. I thought that maybe Rat would have severe abandonment issues what with not having parents and using his friends as a family, and I wanted to avoid the word family and use the word Pack, not just for the wolf reference, but to definitely not reference the Manson Family which is a very real thing that happened and don’t want to be disrespectful to victims and such. I did model a lot of what Rat and his pack do after The Manson Family movie that Jim Van Bebber did, that was a huge, huge inspiration for me, but again, didn’t want to completely take from a real event, even if the movie was amazingly executed. All that being said, I think Rat does fine on his own and doesn’t have any fear of abandonment. He alters how he behaves and talks around certain pack members, and has a general authoritative role when they’re all together. Mixing and matching his personality based on who he’s interacting with is an important thing to keep in mind whenever I get around to the comic. I’d say he’s most genuine around Peter because Peter doesn’t believe in most of the shit that’s happening, whereas most of the pack members are fooled ( they’re impressionable 20 somethings, basically kids. ) I think also, Rat, having been bullied by other kids and adults due to his differences ( He has wolf teeth, deformed arms and legs, socially repugnant ) found a sort of underdog hero in The Devil from when he would attend church. God, who was so loving and good, never stepped in whenever Rat needed Him, so this lead to a stream of thinking that maybe he was rooting for the wrong side. But then, Satan did nothing either. That left option 3: BECOME Satan! Why not? What’s stopping him? We’re taught to be whoever we want to, so why not that? Rat doesn’t have a good concept of ( or maybe he doesn’t care to ) what’s doable and what isn’t in the frame of reality. It should also be noted that since he didn’t have much of a childhood, it’s also a big big reason why he acts so childish and childishly cruel and silly. It’s his way of expressing a part of his life he didn’t get to have much of, aside from with Amy and Kyle. Rat also has a problem processing real empathy. He’s good with faking it, playing a role if it gets him what he wants, but actually feeling sorry for someone isn’t something he’s capable of feeling once he gets older. As a kid, sure, he’s still very tender and has some good intentions left in him, but toxic masculinity sets in the older he gets, the ego and all it’s clowny ridiculousness, and how everything imaginable is a plaything for him. Again, why not? Morals? He doesn’t really care. To quote his faceclaim, “I can’t believe in the things that don’t believe in me” which I attribute heavily to his character. There are certain principals he’ll abide by, but that doesn’t make him good by any respect. He may not abide by rape, but he’s certainly an advocate for murder. OH but, he does legitimately care for his select Pack members, but it diminishes over time and becomes fake, but the readers aren’t too sure when that is, when he’s faking it and when he’s being legitimate. Why does Rat advocate for murder? What makes someone think it’s alright to take the lives away from others? So one huge thing about my stories is they’re all linked to an Old God named Hito. The chain of command in this story goes Hito - Rat - The Pack. When they worship Rat, it translates to Hito, so they’re all participating in a limited faction of Hitoism, and they’re aware of Hito and what they’re doing and what for, just not the limited part. Hito does have smaller factions that branch off, like Acolyte’s Endaiyanism which is like a masculine version of Hito but still Hito, and the opposition is Larionism but I’m not going to get into what that’s all about. What’s important is Hito and her role in this. Also super important detail as to why I almost never touch on Hito in recent art and things: Hito is never to be seen by mortals. Only glimpses and verbally but never seeing her. You have to be in the correct dimension to see her and living or mortal beings are NOT ALLOWED THERE. There’s no oxygen there so there’s no way anyone could just walk through a portal and be OK there. You can go there in dreams but Hito will not be in a visible form, you can feel it but not see her. You could’ve seen her when she was alive on Earth but she’s also not human ( her pronouns are preferred since she appears female and her cult is very female orientated but technically I don’t think Hito has a gender. ) Hito has a sort of wishmaster role in the comic where she can make people’s desires and wants become reality, so long as they’re willing to pay a life-long loan for it -- the loan being murdering people in Hitotian ritual. Rat, at a young age, wanted to encompass the concept of the Devil as he viewed him, and Hito would make that happen, so long as he killed so many people in a quota per night. The pack idea worked out because he’s able to meet that quota through his followers, so it keeps Hito satisfied and Rat on the path to physical and spiritual transformation. People never did Rat any favors, so why be peaceful when he can get what he wants by killing them? They don’t mean anything to him, He can’t relate to them, or be bothered to. He’s also a very keyed-in person, despite his lack of empathy. Rat’s the kind of person you can really get along with. He’ll know what to say to make you laugh or delight you, but he can also pull at your strings, find what makes you tick, and rile you up if he wants to. With Hito in his corner, it diminishes his fear, so Rat is very bold, in your face, and often times throwing himself and others into reckless danger for an idea he has. Or because he just wants to. Again, he tailors his personality based on his current company. He’s like a parasite who loves to worm into people for the sole purpose of his gain and nothing else. All charitable things he does for his pack members is to earn their trust. Ryan doesn’t trust Rat from the start, but is blindly following for his own gain. Rat’s aware of the mistrust and the disbelief, the Judas of the group, and knows that changing Ryan’s mind is out of the question. Ryan’s flawed by his own humanness, so Rat knows that he’ll get what’s coming to him. Based on the way Ryan and Amy interact, and knowing their history, it doesn’t take Rat a long time to deduce that Ryan took advantage of Amy as a minor when she was in a desperate phase in her life, and Ryan being older and knowing better, he’s earned Rat’s complete ire, but he keeps Ryan around because he’s a good tool; good at killing, huge and bulky, intimidating, bold and out there. Personally, however, he can’t stand the guy. He’s got a lot of normie qualities about him that Rat finds deplorable and unnecessary, but his feelings are slightly hypocritical as Rat indulges in the same behaviors as Ryan sometimes, but mostly as an act. Whoever needs to see it. I also realize, personally, that Rat and I talk about his views and reasons on things and I get 100% honesty in his responses, but the problem is that I feel it translates easier through verbal communication than written. Writing down facts and feelings on Rat are really difficult. It’s as if it doesn’t translate well, and since I don’t have any immediate questions I’m not sure what to really start or end with with Rat. Not to mention, Rat isn’t a singular age throughout the comic; he ages from 7 years old to 60s/70 years old so depending on what age the question’s aimed at will the answer vary, just like an actual person, so I try and make up general things to talk about that don’t change that much, like his stance on rapists and murdering. How about I do bullet point type of things, maybe that’ll help. Children: Hates them! Rat adopts a pecking-order mentality with children being the lowest, adults being slightly higher, and the elderly taking a backpedal back to one, but he feels more justified in messing with an old person than a child. Sometimes he’ll antagonize or enlist a child, like to help him steal something, or to incite a ruckus, but Rat hates children to the point of not wanting to kill them. He’ll usually send Ryan or Peter to kill them since they don’t have a problem with it. Amy doesn’t mind either but her, Jessica, and Kyle prefer not to. Food: Rat’s favorite foods are: Fruit gushers, milk chocolate, Baby Ruths, crunchy candy cigarettes, caramel apples, big giant lollipops, novelty candy like ringpops or baby bottles, anything with chewy caramel or rainbow designs on it. Actual food he’ll eat except he hates vegetables. Meat, cheese, but toss him an onion or asparagus and he’ll hit you. Rat’s spent most of his life living out of dumpsters and eating people’s throwaways, which is why he’s usually emaciated. He’ll sooner offer his Pack food than himself. ( Favorite drinks are chocolate and strawberry milk. ) Drugs: He’ll do it all but his favorite is acid and tequila. He’s dabbled with heroin and enjoyed that feeling, cocaine, but nothing beats the trip he gets on acid, or the punch of gold tequila. TV: His favorite shows are Care Bears, Wacky Races, anything Hanna Barbera or Looney Tunes related. Scooby Doo he loves, as well as stuff like Hair Bear Bunch and shows that were popular in his time, but mostly the children shows. Intelligence: Rat’s actually very well-read and street-smart! He’s book smart in various areas because he spent a lot of time in the library growing up since it was Not in his horrible home or on the streets, which is where his extensive reading of Satan happened. Rat loves to play dumb, a quality him and Jessica ( and occasionally Peter ) share. Maths not so much. Rat interpreted the bible’s Genesis story as a cautionary tale against learning so he made it a personal goal to learn as much as he could about everything around him. Rat’s mostly well-read on events concerning America, only after his arc does he make himself internationally known and learn about them, but Rat is um. He’s a very proud Florida-native American. Actually, in talking with him, I think he likes the image of something huge and powerful and stupid being in control, so he loves playing up dumb and insensitive when he’s a big scary monster post-arc ( He appears in other character’s stories as a monster that must be stopped!!! outta control!!! ) Attention: Loves it. Can’t get enough of it. He’ll be an absolute clown or a total showman, whatever the situation calls for. Maybe give someone else a spotlight while he waits for his moment to spring to life and steal it away. Rat is the ringleader of his merry bunch and will make sure everyone knows he’s A REAL ( MORNING ) STAR!!! Abilities: Rat has a Madness-By-Proxy ability where if he lingers in a place long enough, the people inhabiting the area will go insane and hallucinate. It’s a mind-control power that he has to flex and strengthen to get better at controlling it. The older and more experienced he gets with Hitotian ritual and murders, the larger the madness waves reach. People will wake up and murder their families and then not know why they did it, or whatever horrible deed -- in a way, this is almost a “devil made me do it” excuse if you think about it. As Rat metamorphoses, his power becomes stronger, then weaker, then the strongest. His metamorphosis is over time, deforming his body and changing his genetic structure so that he can safely pass into another dimension of familiars who’ll christen him The Devil, but first he must suffer, as suffering creates a residual energy that influences Hito and other entities to pass into our realm and alter us. I’d say almost every story I write has that element in it or similar. It’s hard to get at Rat because of his lack of empathy and warm blooded attitude, so his body and mind are targeted, his two treasured things as he’s a huge egomaniac. That being said, his body becoming deformed is both a blow to his ego and a huge ( somewhat erotic ) fascination he has. His pack are more upset by it than he is most of the time. Think of Rat as an insect going through the motions, like a caterpillar. I’d say Rat’s more adjacent to an insect than a wolf, but he loves the wolf symbolism so, so much. ( He’s a furry, give him a break, and also Peter had him manifest as a wolf in his fears so Rat loved that. ) Death: Extremely fascinated with it. All of his fantasies are centered around death, be it his own death or others. Him and Amy used to play a game when they were kids called ‘wahwad’ which is a way of pronouncing Who And How Will ( they ) Die? where they’d sit and people watch and try and guess how they’ll die or how they would kill them if they could. Rat would try and see how many drugs ___ he could do before he would feel himself slipping off, and Amy would watch him and he’d do the same for her. Kind of a trust exercise. All that being said, Rat doesn’t take other’s death seriously. He thinks people’s lives are a joke, that people are just there for him to mess with and pick apart. There’s no value to other’s life in Rat’s mind, they forfeited that when he saw how nasty they can be at any given moment. Other people’s deaths aren’t on his mind. He’ll keep people around as long as is convenient for him. I wanted a scene or two of a few victims Rat doesn’t kill right away who challenge his views, but I hate that it ends disappointingly with their logic not sinking in. I also wanted an extra pack member to be witness who WAS affected by the victim’s logic and Rat realizing their change of heart and cornering them with the rest of the pack and tearing them apart, mocking their empathy. Which leads me to... Empathy: Rat had heavy empathic feelings as a young pup, but it disintegrated as he became a teenager. Seeing the world for all it’s ugliness and until a certain age, he saw people as literal pigs ( he’s aware people don’t normally look like that because of TV and magazines ) but after they start looking like people, he secretly wonders if they really do look like pigs and which one is the facade and which is really how they look. That aside, he thinks compassion and empathy are weaknesses, which is why he loves insects, because he perceives them as living organisms with no empathy, same with reptiles. He thinks it perverts people’s abilities to make decisions and hinders them, as does morality. I wonder if even the reason he has hard anti-rape sentiments is because he’s a survivor, and it pains me to think he would have a different view if he wasn’t. All in all, Rat’s supposed to be an example of how someone can turn rotten over time. Rat’s definitely not someone to look up to, but he has good qualities if that makes sense. Rat’s story is supposed to be about a person who caves under the bad shit and turns it around and makes it power, but he does it in the worst way, hurting thousands along the way. He doesn’t care about anyone, but he’ll make you think he does so you can trust him. I wanted him to be a villain you love to hate and hate to love. I want him to make sense sometimes and nonsensical the next, that maybe your views align with his from time to time. As with all my OCs, making them as human as possible, even the monstrous ones, is very important to me, and given how vocal they are in my head, I consider them like room mates so it’s hard to translate that for people who don’t have them around. So if anyone has any questions about Rat or anyone else, feel free to ask them because I’d love to try and tackle it!

#oc: rat #long post #meta stuff #rape ment cw #drug ment cw

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