#Got into this community like a week ago

[cows-writing]

Was talking to a friend about G/T headcanons and thought of this:

"Do you know how hard it is to feel like you're not supposed to be born like that" She yelled at the top of her lungs, her voice echoes through the empty, grey place they were all in. Her eyes were already filled with tears but she wasn't about to give up. Not that easily

"I'm saying you were blessed. Being so tall. It's not a curse, it's a miracle. You should be proud" Mafuyu responded. She wasn't all visibly upset like Mizuki but she was definitely as shaken up inside as her.

The sekai felt especially lonely that day. Like the remaining colors that could be seen in the distance completely faded away. Kanade and Ena were stuck, observing the whole argument, not knowing if they should intervene. Everything was supposed to be good. They were supposed to live happily ever after but one tiny malfunction in Mizuki's remote made it all go crashing down. Though Kanade felt herself that it was just a long awaited explosion. They didn't talk about their sizes for a reason. Like she was sitting in front of a ticking bomb, patiently waiting for it to finally explode. And it did. Mafuyu snapped, Mizuki was crying and she was just sitting. And waiting. Again

"I don't need to know. I just said what I thought" Mafuyu responded, now completely facing away from Mizuki. She was saying all that confident claims but she wasn't even brave enough to look Mizuki in her eyes.

"You don't know... How you sound right now!" Mizuki was taking big breaks to not lose the air completely. She was constantly brushing her face with her long sleeves to wipe out the tears that didn't even get a chance to fall down her face. "You don't know anything!"

"I am a monster when I'm that big-!"

"You're not" Kanade cut her off. She wasn't that brave to stop them arguing but she would never let Mizuki say such things. Mizuki quickly looked at her and Kanade as quickly regretted speaking up. She just looked at the floor and took a step back, showing she's not going to interrupt further.

"You can do something. You can look down on people, you can intimidate, you have power!" Mafuyu's harsh but calm voice slowly turned into a yell. Her mask began to slip and they were finally matching in tone.

"I'm not more than a poser trying to pretend to be something I'm not"

The more they talked the more apparent it was that these two needed to get these things out of their chests. They needed to scream and cry and argue. Otherwise they would only keep it inside, slowly turning them into something far less human. Something devoid of emotions. Like a bomb that never exploded, but merely destroyed itself from the inside.

There were pictures in front of Ena's eyes. They were the pictures. She felt a little selfish for letting it get to that moment but where Kanade saw only grey, a world that lacks colors, she saw paintings. Mizuki was pink turning into red. The flowers around her weren't blooming, they were on fire. Mafuyu's purple hair was dragging all the way down, slowly turning into a sea. She was surrounded by large fishes, bug enough to eat her whole. But she was calm, like she was used to it. Ena's hand began subconsciously make small circles next to her leg, as to mimic the paint strokes she would do on the canvas if given a chance.

"You feel small because you can't stand up for yourself!" Mizuki yelled.

The straw that broke camel's back

"I am small! That's the point of this entire argument!" Mafuyu was finally facing Mizuki. She also had tears all over her face and an anger that was only rising "You go here talking about some assumptions or social expectations. But you forget one important thing..." She made her way to the other girl who flinched, scared of what's to come next

"Tide's about to wash off those flowers" Ena thought to herself

"You... Could crush me under your feet" Their faces were now millimeters away from each other. Mizuki could hear Mafuyu's fast breathing and feel how the other girl was shaking. Mafuyu could see Mizuki's eyes wandering just to not look directly at her.

"The second bomb is about to explode" Kanade told herself as she closed her eyes, fearing what might happen. They both held in their breaths.

Finally Mafuyu placed her head on Mizuki's shoulder and sighed. She let herself cry. Loudly and visibly. She wasn't tiny right now but she was as vulnerable as if she was. Mizuki gently hugged her. Like a fully loving hug both of them needed at the moment. The second that these two went silent Ena and Kanade joined in. Their hugs were far more desperate. Like they, even if they didn't take part in the argument, needed it also. With the same intensity.

In my G/T version, being a giant or tiny is a reflection of your deepest fears. These are my personal interpretations of characters, don't eat me.

Mizuki is a giant and hates it. She always felt like being so tall was considered masculine. It reflects how she hated her male body but felt like a traitor. Like not fully a "woman". She was helpless and her size wasn't helping at all.

Mafuyu is tiny and hates it as well. It reflects how tiny she feels compared to her mom. Like she is a helpless, scared little kid who can just pray that her mom has her wellbeing as a priority. She feels small and insignificant.

Kanade and Ena are yet to be thought of but I lean on Ena's inferiority complex making her tiny and Kanade's fears that her big passion and talent was what eventually only made things worse makes her a giant

[fatcowboys]

im done w moving and out of the shitty apt w the shittier roommate (who did not let move out happen without adding as Much drama as possible) and have just. been feeling so much better. living w my two friends who actually communicate well and all work together on our needs and gah. so less stressed and anxious now!!! and also in a week kitty introductions have gotten farther than they ever did w shitty roommates kitties (they were kinda bullies, so we had to move glacial speed even w oregano cat expert) and just. thank u the universe things are so much better now

[annalyticall]

Being an adult is really cutting into my fanfic writing time

[mimbotomy]

I'm sorry to hear that planning has been stressful, but best wishes this Saturday!!! I'm so excited for you and your wedding and your marriage and wish you every happiness 💕.

Thank you! I am very excited too! Mostly because I get to marry the love of my life 🩷🩷🩷 but also because there are only four days left and judging from my track record this last month that means I will probably have to deal with🤞🏼only🤞🏼four more things going wrong! 🎉 And then I’ll be married to my favorite person and the stress will probably be gone! ✨

(Please send good vibes my way it’s been a very weird hectic month 😂)

[bloodyweeds]

malewife evrie wilt

[dandyshucks-moving]

I sat down to draw out some more layouts of buildings and then thought of this as a doodle and uhm... 2 hours later, it's not a doodle anymore, and I didn't complete anymore layout planning (>\\\\<;)

Juno and Guz.ma working on layout blueprints of Sinnoh's Old Chateau, planning on fixing it up into a new team base in Juno's region!!

[ladiablesse]

that was thee biggest disappointment i’ve had in a minute :/ it’s okay though i guess it wasnt for me

[bunnyb34r]

Had a chance to be the asscrack bandit today and I only didnt take it bc it was my 57 year old coworker who I've known since well birth probably agdggdhdhdhdhd it would've been so funny though...

[boytoycowboy]

my mother just asked if she could sit in on my therapy session tomorrow. so my therapist “knows how bad i am”. like that’s going to make it better.

[asinglesock]

me yesterday: I'm going to bite my tongue so I can live peaceably and not argue with my brother-in-law. I'm not going to fight over interpretation of scripture because even if he's teaching harmful things, that doesn't mean I'll be able to make anything better by getting upset

me today: how dare you suggest that "Hellenistic Jews" were a distinct group from "Non-Hellenistic Jews" in the 2nd Temple Period rather than Hellenism being a broad cultural millieu under which all Jewish communities of the time interacted with questions of identity in diverse ways. Read The Beginnings of Jewishness : Boundaries, Varieties, Uncertainties by Shaye J. D. Cohen or I'm going to throw hands.

[frogphase]

Where is the line between communicating how you feel openly but also not always being the person chasing resolution

[jacularmetteld]

Just for everyone who still sends me messages:

[llycaons]

btw never go into an iwtv post replies. I saw someone earnestly arguing that lestat never wanted louis to change and loves him the way he was because quote “he never told him to stop caring about racism’. like okay yes canonically he never said the words “I want you to stop caring about racism’ but he definitely said it in every other way he could communicate it. some willful ignorance here on par with the most rose-tinted jc interpretations from the most out of touch fans

[casual-eumetazoa]

I’m re-reading the 25k-ish words that I’ve written for FrankensteinWIP so far and man, it’s been so long since I actually enjoyed reading back my own text. It’s not the kind of literary prose I wish I could do, but it’s so distinctnly mine, and this book in general is such a self-indulgent project, it makes me happy just to work on it. 

On the other hand, I’m realizing more and more that I can’t juggle PhD school, youtube, and writing all at the same time. And logically I should prioritize youtube over writing because it has at least some sort of potential to become my full time job, but it hurts so much to post these videos that I spend months on and get like, a couple hundred views and 10 comments. So I would much rather focus on novels, but it makes me feel guilty. I feel like I haven’t had any sort of success with youtube yet because I don’t try hard enough, don’t post often enough, etc etc.

Doing the PhD is great because my workload is not insane, I get paid pretty well, and I love the people at my institute. I do have to manage my energy levels incredibly well and I end up burn out every few months anyway, but I make it work. Still, eventually I will graduate and will need to get a real job... and I don’t know if I can do it. Like, I don’t know if I will be able to hold a full-time post-doc position, especially a tenure track one. Especially if my chronic illnesses will keep detereorating. 

I’m hoping that after I graduate I will be able to scrape enough science writing and tutoring hours together to work part-time from home, and have time for youtube and writing. Doesn’t look very achievable now cause any freelance like this requires self-promo, and it seems like I really suck at it. But a boy can dream I guess.

[theygender]

Working in excel with your only other coworker who also knows how to use excel