#Greg Michael

[adamwatchesmovies]

Baby Geniuses (1999)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

I've said many times that there are no bad premises, only bad executions. Baby Geniuses has taken that thought behind the shed and blasted it with a double-barrelled shotgun. This is one of the worst films I’ve ever seen.

To prove that her method of education is the best, Dr. Elena Kinder (Kathleen Turner) and her associate, Dr. Heep (Christopher Lloyd) separate twins Sylvester and Whit (played by Leo, Gerry & Myles Fitzgerald and voiced by Miko Hughes) at birth. One twin is raised in a laboratory and the other by a kind couple (Kim Cattrall as Robin and Peter MacNicol as her husband Dan). What the scientists at BabyCo don’t realize is that babies are naturally capable of speaking in a language only they understand - until they grow out of it once they learn to converse with adults. When the brothers meet and are accidentally switched, the other babies under the scientists' care make it their mission to return them to their rightful homes.

This film’s story sounds even stupider as I’m trying to summarize it. None of it makes any sense, whatsoever. If babies are intelligent, why do they poop in their diapers? Why do they get fooled by simple peek-a-boo games? How is it they can’t figure out a way to communicate with the rest of us? Oh, because adults are too stupid to realize that the random notes they smash onto a keyboard actually translates into a beautiful symphony and that their random scribbles on a page are identical to ancient languages? Please.

It doesn’t get any easier to swallow when we see a baby jump up in the air and perform karate kicks or use tools to escape from secure locations. Their skulls haven’t even solidified and yet they’re able to incapacitate full-grown men, and not just random men, but armed guards? Movie. I don’t mind if YOU’RE an idiot, but don’t assume I’m an idiot.

Moving past that load of diaper gravy and we find this catastrophe that is a plot. It’s so brainless and idiotic that at first, you can have fun at its expense. The unconvincing CGI used to create a baby in a three-piece suit dancing to Puttin’ on the Ritz had me in stitches. Then, the film kept going and going and going. It grinds away your sanity and will to survive until you’re begging for it to end. You think you’ve seen lousy performances before. This picture takes it to a level of hell so deep it was deemed unfit for Satan himself. First, we have child actors on-screen. Not only are they children, but they’re babies so they have no idea what is happening around them. They’re basically looking off-screen at jingling toys with this stupid expression on their face. Then, they’re dubbed over by voice actors who are devoid of talent. We're talking dual-levels of awful. They’re almost enough to make you overlook the adults, who must have had nothing but regrets once they got on set because they bring no enthusiasm to their roles whatsoever.

There is no shortage of criticisms to be directed at Baby Geniuses. It features a terrifying animatronic baby (played by a man in a suit) who is sure to turn up again in your nightmares. The plot follows no logic. Writers Bob Clark (who also directs) and Greg Michael frequently run out of comedic ideas and instead start referencing other movies - even when it makes no sense. None of these criticisms accurately convey how agonizing it is to sit through Baby Geniuses. The picture relies heavily on you either finding any scene with a baby doing something it isn’t supposed to do hilarious or having an emotional meltdown at the sight of any diaper wearer. At no point is it more obvious than in the film’s overly manipulative conclusion, during which a montage of children is set to Gift of Love by Randy Travis. Thinking back to it makes me throw up a bit. And there’s a sequel to this? And it’s supposed to be EVEN worse? Diving into a crocodile pit is looking like a better option at this point. (On VHS, May 9, 2018)

[mooneggtarts]

Mike will tellthe kid once he's a little older, or once Mike has the mental capacity to explain it

[pixlokita]

Fam visited and brought new bebe so had to draw glammike and baby Greg to get it out of my system

[doctorsiren]

Finally watched Over The Garden Wall all the way through and I just think a FNAF AU could be interesting

[rwrbmovie]

Never tell us the odds. May 8-11, 2024

[dr-robert-chase-apologist]

[propertyofjameswilson]

What's wrong with him?? Wait omg he actually knew that he's not just a ho but also sugardaddy Wilson's ho

[wheel-of-fish]

hey fish! i was wondering if you have any recommendations for the portrayals of erik that are more on the sweet or tender side of the spectrum? or especially tender moments some actors have done? thanks!

Yeah sure! These are the actors who come to mind offhand.

Earl Carpenter (with Rachel Barrell)

Ted Keegan (with Emilie Kouatchou)

Josh Piterman (with Kelly Mathieson)

And the OG Michael Crawford, but I would actually direct you to this audio clip for him.

And here are some other tender moments that I like!

James Gant (with Holly-Anne Hull)

John Owen-Jones (with Celia Graham)

Laird Mackintosh

Saulo Vasconcelos (with Irasema Terrazas)

Michael Nicholson (with Olivia Safe)

Jeremy Stolle (with Samantha Hill)

Also this audio of Greg Mills

(Do most of my favorite tender moments involve hair and/or hands? MAYBE SO)

EDIT: This is not meant to be an exhaustive list! Please feel free to add your own!

[wwprice1]

Awesome X-Men covers coming our way in September!

[disneytva]

The Disney Afternoon’s’ programming block launched 34 years ago, September 10, 1990.

The block will turn 35 years in 2025, wishful thinking for a crossover series with all characters like Jellystone! from MAX getting ordered.

The 2010s and 2020s saw new interations of some shows of The Disney Afternoon block with DuckTales as reboot for Disney XD , Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers as a live action/cgi hybrid film for Disney+.

New interations of The Disney Afternoon shows are still being made with Darkwing Duck having a reboot in the works since 2020 and a TaleSpin reboot very early in development since 2023 both projects for Disney+ are being helm by Disney Television Animation, Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg and Point Grey Pictures. (Nickelodeon Animation Studios "Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles") In October 2023, it was announced that Gargoyles was getting a live action reboot handled by Atomic Monster and Blumhouse Television, Gary Dauberman (Warner Bros “Anabelle” franchise), acts as showrunner with James Wan and Michael Clear (Universal Pictures “M3GAN”) as Executive Producers alongside Jason Blum (Universal Pictures "Five Nights At Freddy's").

As of right now there's two major Disney Afternoon IPs still left to be rebooted:

-Adventures Of The Gummi Bears

-Goof Troop

Who's next? i guess the future knows however attempts by current Disney Television Animation artists where made:

"Goof Troop" by Becky Dreistadt and Frank Dreistad  (“Big City Greens”, “Big City Greens The Movie: Spacecation”, “Star Vs. The Forces Of Evil”, Cartoon Network Studios “Steven Universe The Movie”, “Steven Universe Future”)

"Adventures of The Gummi Bears" by Pedro Eboli and Mark Satterthwaite (Netflix “Cupcake and Dino: General Services”, Cartoon Network LATAM “Oswaldo”, Nickelodeon “Ollie’s Pack”, Discovery Kids LATAM “Bada Bean”, Amazon Prime Video "Gary and His Demons")

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

A small (and by no means complete) collection of phantoms going Above and Beyond the Call of Horny

@meilas this one's for you

Greg Mills (w. Mary Michael Patterson, Broadway 2014)

Davis Gaines (w. Tracy Shayne, Broadway 1995)

Ethan Freeman (w. Anne Görner, Essen 2006)

Michael Crawford (w. Dale Kristien, Broadway 1988)

Michael Crawford (w. Dale Kristien, LA 1989)

Akutagawa Eiji (w. Hanaoka Hisako, Sapporo 1994)

Ian Jon Bourg (w. Olivia Safe, Hamburg 2001)

Scott Davies (w. Meredith Braun, West End 2000)

The same

John Owen Jones (w. Rachel Barrell, West End 2005)

[jt1674]

[pixlokita]

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[doctorsiren]

for @sleepysquib 😁😁😁

[johnwettonhispants]

In honor of finishing level 1 of Sid Smith's King Crimson biography I give you sketches of the original 1969 KC lineup!

[tmntkiseki]

When you have a crisis over the realization that The Last Ronin could very well be a potential alternate future for the 2003 series as well as the original Mirage comics due to 2003 taking so much inspiration from them.