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eclairfromleclerc · 8 months

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Hello people! It’s been a while since my last chapter but the writer’s block was humongous and I kept pushing myself to write the next chapter. It is another long one, almost 25K words. Please excuse me for my long ass absence and stay with me for the rest of the story! I hope you’ll enjoy the newest part and I can’t wait to see your opinion and comments on it. Take care. Until the next one <3 xx

All’s Fair

(Toto Wolff x Reader!Horner) Chapter 9

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Monaco has the best sunny days in the whole world. You’ve loved going out under the Mediterranean sun every time your family visited Monaco when you were young. Now laying on the couch that you’ve spent almost all of your summers on, you see the light entering the apartment. Music plays in the background as your friend Sara is making coffee in the kitchen and you are laying in her living room as you’ve always done.

After the victory celebrations on Sunday you left the track and flew straight back to Nice. Your childhood friend Sara picked you up and you’ve been staying in her family’s house in Monaco for the past 2 days. Those days passed by with your usual activities. Having coffee in the casino square, going out clubbing, cooking, gossiping and in general doing girly things. As soon as you arrived in Monaco you visited the apartment that Sara proposed and booked it right away as you had already asked for your belongings to be moved to Monte Carlo. The only thing left for you to do is to move all of those things to the apartment. The thing about being in Monaco is that now you are able to show the world where you are. During the past weekend there was just speculation about where you actually were. You had managed to place yourself in Monaco with some instagram posts but no one knew (well except for Toto and Lewis) that you still were in Jeddah.

“Sweetheart coffee is ready.” Sara yells from the kitchen

“Bitch I don’t drink coffee” you answer “You haven’t seen me in a month and you already forgot?”

“Shut up, I made you your Earl Grey just how you like to drink it” she says and you’ve already made your way to the kitchen

“Thank you idiot” you tell her

“You’re welcome, your majesty,” she says, mocking you for your tea preferences. You sit down opposite to her and start drinking your tea. “So” she interrupts the silence “Do you remember Marc?” she asks

“Marc who?” you ask

“Marc Taylor.”

“S, are you serious? Are you asking me if I remember the guy I had a crush on for ages?” you ask her

“Well you’ve met a lot of people since you started working in F1 and I genuinely thought you forgot him” she says “Anyways, he saw the story I reposted from yesterday night at Jimmy’z and replied to it. He asked me if we wanted to join him today.”

“Join him where?” you ask intrigued

“He will be having a brunch party at his yacht.” she says trying to hype it up

“Ugh, I’m not sure I want to see so many people.” you say

“Come on Horner, it’s going to be so great. We haven’t had a brunch party at a yacht in ages, the last time we did was when you graduated.” she pauses “Plus he told me not to hype it up, the only people there will be his friend group.”

“Marc’s friend group is 15 people. I am only willing to see 5.”

“Why are you acting like a 65 year old with depression, come onnn.”

“Because my job drains me to the point that I just want to stay at home with a cup of tea and read a good book. I am with people every day and during the weekend I am chased by cameras and fans.” you tell her as she looks at you mockingly “I know, I know. I chose this life and to be frank I love the whole fame,chase and clout that comes with it. But during my non-race weekends, I need to have a detox.”

“You had your whole week off, enough paddock detox, enough people detox. What were you doing in Jeddah? Meditating, visiting the four seasons’ spa, drinking coffee, eating expensive meals. That’s enough, now we get to party.”

Little does she know that you weren’t actually meditating, not visiting spas, not even staying at a four seasons’ but at a Ritz. You take a look at your best friend as she puts on her puppy eyes.

“Pretty please.” she says and she crosses her hands as if she’s begging “Do it for me Horner, it’s going to be fun. It’s part of your new life after all. People here in Monaco have brunch yacht parties really often, so you better get your ass ready. We are going.” she says.

You shrug in response, but actually get up from the chair and go to the guest room where all of your belongings currently are. You open your suitcase and take out the sundress you wore the day you and Toto went for coffee together and match it with a pair of Hermes sandals. The weather is now sunny in Monaco and you actually love how it is a great mix of sun, breeze and heat. You put on some makeup and style your hair as loosely as you can, you’re going to be in the sea after all. Later both you and Sara leave the house and go to the location that Marc dropped a pin on. You can hear people talking from the other side of the yacht, the one that faces the Mediterranean. You quickly jump on the platform on the back of the yacht and walk up to the place where everyone’s sitting.

“Hello everyone.” you say and you see Marc standing up approaching you. Sara is just behind and she waves everyone but doesn’t get any closer to you. Marc comes to your side and hugs you.

“Miss Horner.” he says in awe “It’s been a long long time hasn’t it?” he asks

“It has. Thank you for the invitation.” you say “We brought a little something.” you say and you hand him the bottle of Dom that you’ve been holding.

“It’s really no big deal, I wanted to see you and Sara so I just texted. Thanks for the Champagne.”

By the time both of you stop interacting, Sara is already sitting on the table and speaking to everyone. You take a seat, far from her in the only two empty chairs and Marc emerges shortly after to take the seat next to you. Without asking he starts filling your plate.

“You should definitely try the Croque Madame, it’s a miracle.” he says and you smile at him

“I will, thanks.” you reply as you register his existence next to you. He’s the most charming guy you’ve met, well less than Toto but to be frank, you can see why you were heads over heels with him. At that moment you decide to snap a photo and text Toto.

You

[Photo]

Much earned gift for my last week’s performance

Wolff

You better recharge, I want you on your A level in Baku.

[Photo]

The weather here is freaking awful, I miss Monaco.

You

Wait, you actually know how to send pictures? Monaco is amazing today. You should have been here.

Wolff

Replying: Remember who gives you access to the paddock.

If I were there you wouldn’t be in that yacht right now.

You

Toto behave, you’re at work.

Wolff

I’m at a business meeting and I hate those so why not distract myself with some other thought.

You

Because I’m so hot you’re going to embarrass yourself. Gotta go now, I've got a whole yacht waiting for me

Wolff

I don't blame them. Have fun, just not too much ;)

You laugh at Toto’s texts as Marc watches you at the same time

"Are you bored of us" he asks

"No, I just have to text someone" you reply

"Red Bull keeps getting you busy I see?" he asks

"Actually, I am not in Red Bull for the time being, I am just enjoying myself and I am actually moving here next week"

"Great decision to be honest. Monaco could use a distraction." He says

"So I've been told" you tell him

"By whom?" he asks and you realize you cannot possibly talk about Toto with him

"Just a good friend" you laugh

“ah one of those best friends, I get it" he says and you nod not showing any emotion at all over what it meant

“Are you enjoying yourself in F1?” he asks trying to start conversation with you

“I am. It is a space I’ve grown up in and I already knew everyone as well as everyone knew me. There’s nothing different as to what I’ve lived up to now except for the fact that I have a little bit more screen time than I used to have 5 years ago.”

“Well 5 years ago I used to see you almost every week and now I have to watch F1 to see you.” he says

“You watch F1 now?”

“I always watched F1.” he says

“I’m pretty sure you’ve only watched the Monaco Grand Prix.”

“Until this year.” he replies “Plus I have a really good reason.”

“What’s the reason? Max’s racecraft?”

“Nah, you are” he says and you freeze temporarily

“I’m flattered.”

“I meant it as a compliment so you should be.” he tells you and he looks at you with a flirty look and you turn to look at Sara who is already too invested in her conversation with Marc’s friend, Tristan.

The rest of the brunch party goes on in a pretty similar way. Marc keeps flirting with you and Sara is way too busy to come to your rescue. At some point the yacht leaves Monaco and sails in the Mediterranean for two or three hours while all of you party on the deck. Now the sun is setting down the horizon and you return back to the harbor of Monaco and the party has already winded down so you find yourself sitting on a chair sipping your last glass of champagne. Sara is nowhere to be seen, probably too busy making out with Tristan on the inside of Marc’s yacht since they’ve been missing for the last 45 minutes or so. The chair opposite to you is empty but not for long. As soon as Marc spots you he leaves his friends and comes to your company.

“Did you enjoy the party?” he asks

“It’s been a while since I partied like this but I loved it. Now relaxing with a glass of champagne is the must thing to do.”

“There’s plenty of space inside if you want to lay down for a while.” he tells you

“I think the space might be occupied by our friends and as close as I am with Sara today isn’t the day that I want to listen to her having sex with your best friend.” you laugh

“The yacht has 6 cabins. I very much doubt all 6 of them are taken.”

“6 cabins huh? The Taylors really have given it some thought before spending money on this yacht.”

“Yeah, my mom insisted. But hey, that’s why we’re working our asses off every day. To spend on things like this.”

“So you are working?” you ask him

“Yeah, I’ve taken over some of my dad’s companies and I’ve been living between Monaco and Switzerland for a while.”

“And how is it?”

“You know how it is. We’ve learnt to live in this world. I love the job but really that’s all I focus on. Thank god all these fuckers are around and remind me that I need to have a work life balance.”

“Oh my god. Marc Taylor is a workaholic?” you say surprised “You need people to remind you to live for a while instead of working?”

“My mom is so afraid that I won’t even have a wife that she’s trying to get me to meet eligible bachelorettes.”

“Lisa is actually doing this?” you ask shocked

“Lisa has been asking me to ask you on a date for months” he tells you and you laugh hysterically.

“Well tell Lisa that I am twice the workaholic that you are. I am not working and living, I am living my life at work. I am constantly working.”

“How does it feel?”

“It does get a little lonely at times. But as you’ve said I’ve learnt to live like this ever since I was a baby. Sometimes I just wish I had someone to support me.” you tell him and what he does next surprises you.

He leans closer and puts a hand on your cheek and kisses you. You don’t react. Partly because you were caught completely off guard and partly because your 19 year old self would die for this kiss but the only thing in your head that played over and over again is “You can’t do this to Toto” . He pulls away from the kiss and you smile but he’s looking for something more and you know it.

“Marc, look I am so flattered that you actually like me. My 19 year old self would be dead right now. But as much as I used to like you then, I cannot do it now.”

“You’re not into it huh?” he asks partly heartbroken partly surprised

“It’s not that. It’s that there’s someone else in my life right now and the things with me and him aren’t that simple so I wouldn’t want to further complicate it.”

“I understand.” he says “Although Lisa would be thrilled to have you as her daughter in law, I have to destroy her dreams.” he laughs

“I am so sad. Tell her I love her regardless and if I end up alone you’ll be the first one I will flirt with.”

“Bold way to tell me I am the second option.”

“Oh god no that’s not how I meant it. It’s just that you never know how life will play out. We might end up married managing the Taylor Group and Red Bull Racing, but we might just end up as two workaholic friends who push each other out of their working space.”

“That’s true.” he says

For the next 10 minutes you discuss and when the yacht finally arrives at the harbor you leave the yacht before thanking everyone. You and Sara walk back home and she keeps talking about her and Tristan during the whole way to her house. You keep quiet about the whole thing with Marc and let her vent about what happened for the rest of the day. Late at night just when you’re ready to go to sleep, her in her bed and you on an inflatable mattress Sara is still talking about Tristan.

“He actually texted me like 5 minutes ago, I can’t believe it.” she says “We are plann-”

“Marc kissed me.” you say interrupting her mid sentence

“WHAT?” she screams and jumps on her bed

“Yeah, you were too busy screwing Tristan on those cabins but when we arrived at the harbor, he sat down next to me and kissed me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” she asks completely shocked

“Because you were venting about Tristan and I knew you would react this way.” you answer

“Well why aren’t you reacting in this way? You’ve had a crush on him since forever.” she asks

“Had. Past tense.”

“Well, do you have someone better than Marc to hook up with? His father is a freaking billionaire and he’s about to inherit all this. He’s handsome and kind and he’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of.”

“Yeah, now he’s not the one I am dreaming of. Plus, believe it or not, it’s not always about the money.”

“Are you out of your mind? Who is possibly a better option than Marc for you right now? Well, to be frank Charles Leclerc is. You’re not sleeping with Charles Leclerc are you?” she asks and you laugh

“If you actually knew who the guy who is the better option you’d definitely think I’m out of my mind. And no, I am not sleeping with Charles Leclerc, sadly.” you tell her

“If you don’t spill, I will kick you out.”

“I most definitely cannot tell you.”

“Come on, we’ve known each other since we were in the womb, your family is my family, what tells you that I could possibly say anything to anyone?”

“Okay, I will tell you, just because you actually are my best friend. But don’t you dare say anything to anyone or I will be destroyed. Oh, tell me your wildest prediction.”

“Just so that I have a clear target group, he is from F1 right?” she asks and you nod “Omg, is it Max? Because if it is Max it will be the most iconic friends to lovers boo-” she starts ranting and you interrupt to shock her once again

“It’s Toto Wolff”

“WHO?” she looks at you like you are a lunatic.

“It’s freaking Toto Wolff, Team Principal of Mercedes AMG Petronas F1” you tell her and she looks absolutely shocked

“You are definitely out of your freaking mind. Since when are you into older guys and how the hell did that happen?”

“I always thought he was attractive but was blindsided by Christian’s hate for him. But long story short, I got drunk once and we hooked up and it’s only been going downhill from there. I’ll have to explain it to you when I get to my new apartment.”

“I am absolutely shocked.” she says “Is he at least treating you right?” she asks

“We are just hanging out but he’s been decent I’d say.”

“Now that I am thinking about it, he kind of is the better option.” she says and she visibly loses herself in thought

“Just so you know, the only people who know about all this are you and Lewis.”

“I have a common secret with Lewis Hamilton?” she asks, showing her clear preference for him.

Your answer is to just laugh and then say goodnight to her.

The next day you are being woken up by the light entering the room from the window that you forgot to close. It’s the day that you will finally move to your new apartment in Monaco. You grab your phone first thing and you see millions of notifications, more than usual. Your first thought? Something bad happened. And indeed something had happened, not exactly bad, but the headlines from the news, tweets and tags are somewhere in between the tone of

“Red Bull Racing’s newest management addition shows her love with a billionaire’s son in Monaco.”

The first article wrote: Miss Horner and Mr. Marc Taylor were spotted getting cozy at the latter’s yacht party in Monaco harbor yesterday. The pair shared a kiss and they seemed to exchange some fond words. We are excited about this new romance blooming in the streets and seas of Monaco. Are we going to see the Taylor Group entering F1 alongside Miss Horner’s Red Bull Racing? It’s only a matter of time to see.

“Shit, shit, shit” you keep saying and Sara who has only woken up looks at you like you’re crazy

“What?” she asks

“It’s all over the freaking internet.”

“You and Wolff?” she asks nervously

“No, god, it’s me and Marc”

“Wait, how did that happen?”

“Someone must have snapped a picture of us while we were kissing when the yacht was in the harbor. God this is a disaster.”

“Why is it a disaster?” she asks. Well sometimes you really doubt about her having a brain

“If Toto sees this he’s going to be feral.” you say “Oh god, I should text him right now to let him know that the whole thing is a lie.” You open the iMessage app

Wolff

[Photo]

Flying to Nice from the UK, I’ll be in Monaco for the rest of the week.

You check the time that this was sent. Yesterday afternoon. You were probably at the party then and you accidentally deleted the notification so you didn’t see the message afterwards but now you decide to reply.

You

I hope that you have arrived in Monaco safely. I am sure I will see you somewhere here before we get the chance to meet all alone. Sorry I didn’t reply earlier but I must have accidentally deleted the notification while I was at that yacht party yesterday. Speaking of which, I need to talk to you about the whole thing going around on the internet.

You see that your messages are being instantly read but you get no reply.

“The moving truck will be arriving at the apartment in 20 minutes, we must get going. Come on, get ready.” Sara says

“S, Toto is leaving me on read, do you think he’s mad at me?”

“No, he’s probably too busy in those company meetings back at Brackley.” she tries to reassure you

“Toto flew to Monaco yesterday afternoon, he’s not at Brackley.” you tell her

“Well, he’s still working from Monaco so he might reply to you later. Girl, we really don’t have time for this. It’s moving dayyy.” she says trying to hype you up. “Up, up, up” she says trying to grab you “The moving guys will be at the apartment and you will be lying here all day? Let’s get ready to move in. You’ll worry about Wolff later. And at the end you told me that you’re just hanging out, it's not anything serious so you’re free to do whatever you want. And if he’s sure that you want him he won’t even believe those things.”

You stand up before replying and put on a pair of sweats and a Red Bull t-shirt to be comfortable while moving in. “I know that we’re just hanging out at the moment. It’s just that the things are confusing as it is now, I don’t want Marc Taylor confusing them more than that.”

“He won’t. But you’ll have to worry about it from your new bedroom so, shoes on, grab your bag and let’s go to the apartment.

You do as she says and 20 minutes later you are outside your newest home getting the keys from the owner while the guys are removing boxes and furniture from the truck.

“Well, you are here.” Sara says. “I have to confess it looks really pretty and modern.”

“Sara, it’s just the outside of the building.”

“But still it’s pretty. The actual apartment is prettier though” she says and she instructs all of the boxes with your belongings and furniture to be moved to the 6th floor. For the first time in your life you will be living at the top of a building. You and Sara take the elevator to the apartment. You unlock the door while the guys are waiting for you and you enter using your right foot first.

“It’s for good luck.” you say to Sara and she smiles doing the same

For the next 5 hours you and Sara assemble your furniture and unpack the boxes with all of your stuff. You show her your ideas on how to put everything into place as you’ve imagined it and as you’ve seen it on your pinterest moodboards. At some point both of you try to settle the bed in your master bedroom. A new queen sized bed that you bought after seeing how big the room is. The one side of the loft is covered in full length glass windows that have a great view to the mediterranean with a huge balcony just in front of them that you will probably enjoy your morning tea in, during the non race weeks. The light enters every room, giving them a great coziness and openness. While you two are trying to move the bed just in the right place you remember that now you happen to have neighbors.

“Shit S, are we making too much noise?” you ask

“Well, if you know another way that we can move this monster bed and not make a sound, let me know.”

“What if the neighbors are annoyed?”

“They can fuck themselves, it’s not even quiet hours yet.” she says and you help her do the job.

After the bed gets in the right place you lay there for a second

“Horner, come on, what are you doing?”

“I am too overwhelmed by this, we’ve been working for 5 hours nonstop and this thing isn’t anywhere close to a living apartment.” you tell her

“Oh and wait till I leave you to go to the gym.” she says

“Come on Sara, you are working out here can’t you just skip the gym today and help me a little with those boxes?”

“I’ve been doing it for the past 5 hours if that says something to you. I will be leaving in half an hour though. And don’t worry. You can take it one step at a time and after some time you will manage to unpack your whole stuff.” she says smiling

“I hate you.” you tell her and you go back to work.

You set your new office in the living room, just in front of the large window so that you get enough light and inspiration from the views outside. You also set the couch and the coffee table in front, as well as your new TV. Half an hour later Sara leaves indeed for the gym, leaving you all alone for the first time in your newest apartment. That’s when it hits you and you grab your phone. The messages you sent to Toto, still unanswered and it’s been a long time since he’s read them. You decide to give him a call. You press his phone number and wait for him to pick up. You hear one, then two, then three rings and then it goes straight to voicemail. You hear his voice that you haven’t heard since Sunday. The phone rang but it went to voicemail which means that he’s declining your call. You try once again, the same thing. You get it, he’s probably angry with the whole thing but if he doesn’t want to talk to you nor do you. Instead of overthinking it you throw yourself back at moving. You blast some Taylor Swift on the speakers that you connected first thing as you entered the loft, and drop a huge box of books in front of you which you put on the built-in shelves in the living room. You use your ladder to fill the upper shelves that you cannot reach by yourself. You keep dancing, moving things, chairs, couches and tables. At some point you hear the door knocking. You turn the music off and run to the door.

“Who is it?” you ask and you hear a voice from the outside of the door

“I live downstairs and I wanted to let you know that it’s quiet time now, you are annoying us with all that music and moving things.” the voice says. You feel very embarrassed about what you did and the last thing you want is to piss your neighbor off so you decide to open the door and apologize. But when you do you freeze.

“Toto?” you say and he looks at you, his eyes wide as if he just saw something unbelievable

“What are you doing here ?” he asks

“This is my new apartment in Monaco, I was just moving in.”

“You’re joking.” he says

“Do you actually live downstairs?” you ask thrilled

“I do yeah, I live on the fifth floor loft.” he says

“How was England?” you ask and he looks at you.

“Fine.” he replies, obviously bothered.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you, I texted you this morning but you didn’t reply.” you say “I also tried calling but it went to voicemail.”

“Talk to me about what?” he asks acting like he doesn’t know

“About Marc Taylor. Toto, I know you’ve seen it, it’s all over the internet.”

“I mean what would you possibly have to say about Marc Taylor? It’s a shared secret that you’ve been wanting him since high school, everyone in Monaco knows it. You must be over the moon though. Handsome, rich, young and charming. Everything you’re looking for.”

“You have to believe me Toto.”

“Believe you about what? You clearly wanted the guy since forever so why not give in?”

“You fucking know that the whole thing is fake.”

“There are pictures,” he says, keeping calm.

“You know how it fucking is Toto, those reporters only take whatever they think will make people engage more with their stories. They only caught the kiss but after that I told him that there is someone else in my life.”

“I wouldn’t know. I am not the one going around boat parties in Monaco and kissing strangers.”

“Just admit you are jealous.” you say

“Now you know what? I find it really pretentious that you get to be angry with the whole Cynthia thing and I am suddenly overreacting to seeing you kiss other guys.”

“It is not the same.”

“No, it is exactly the same and your position is way worse than mine because me and Cynthia haven’t seen each other since this thing started.” he says

“Well, it’s not like this “thing” is something exclusive so I can see and kiss whomever I want.” you say

Toto turns and looks at you and this is the first time you see a kind of hurt in his eyes

“Do you ever shut up Horner?” he asks

“I’ve told you before, only if I am made.” you say and look at him

Hearing these words probably makes a bell in Toto’s head ring because the next thing he does is to grab you by both hands and pin you against the wall like he did the first time he kissed you. He looks down at you as you look up at him and he leans in to kiss you but you push him just a little and grab his hand. You put it against your neck and once he gets the memo he applies a little pressure that makes you go crazy. He kisses you slowly and you kiss him back in enjoyment. A few seconds later he grabs you and runs into the hallway searching for your bedroom. Once he finds the bedroom with the queen size bed he rushes and pushes you to the bed. You lie on your back looking at him. The power that this man holds, you think. You slowly begin to undress him, freeing him of his gray sweatpants and leaving him only with his boxers on seeing him growing hard as he looks at you.

“Is the bed new?” he asks and you nod

“What a way to use it for the first time huh?” you say and he laughs

“Let me tell you something Horner, I don’t want you anywhere near me with a red bull shirt ever again” he says and he strips you off of the red bull shirt “It’s the biggest turn off.”

“I can see it” you tease him. At first he seems pissed off but then he takes your sweats off and then he does the same with his T-Shirt.

“Enough talking” he says and he leans in for a kiss which you deepen immediately. He leans in on you and you push him towards you from his neck as he stabilizes himself by putting one of his knees between your thighs. You feel the intrusive thought in your brain and you grind yourself on his knee

“Much needy I see ?" he asks and you do nothing but look at him

“Can’t resist mister Wolff” you say

“As you should miss Horner.” he replies and his hand moves to your chest while he starts kissing you on your neck. You feel him leaving hot trails of kisses on you as his hand cups your breast. Well he certainly has a way of doing things. His kisses leave you wanting more, needing more so to make yourself feel good you move your hips against him once again and you can feel him laugh against your skin as he moves his hand against your panties

“So wet already” he whispers to your ear sending shivers down your spine “Does he also do that to you?” he asks clearly, talking about Marc. You shake your head as the words were kind of hard to come off your mouth

“Use your words baby” he says

“No, he does not” you say while your breathing is getting heavier

“Is he better?” he asks and you shake your head once again.

“Toto please, I need you.” you say and he obeys to your plea.

He removes his briefs and pushes your panties to the side as he enters inside you. It feels good. Better than it had in Jeddah. You gasp at the move and you dig your nails on his back as he kisses you. He suddenly grabs your hands and removes them from his back while thrusting in and out in a slow but great way.

“No touching today.” he says and holds your hands over your head with his strong grip. He keeps moving as you let small moans escape and you feel like you’re in another word. You want to touch him as well and right the time that he loosens his grip on you you try to move your hands but his grip gets stronger and smashes your hands back to the place they first were. You complain for a while but he makes you feel so good that this is the last thing you care about.

“You’re so good love. Always feeling so good.” the pauses between his words are getting bigger, showing that he’s feeling as good as he does. “Good god.” he says once again and you laugh at him. He keeps going strong though, changing the tempo of his thrusts, hitting and touching all the correct places. You feel getting closer and closer to your climax but instead of laying calm you start leaving kisses on his chest.

“You make me feel so good.” you say “Fuck Toto, you’re so good. God no you’re perfect.”

“Are you close?” he asks

“Yeah” you say and you gasp “You?”

“Very” he says in between his grunts. Some minutes later you come first and he follows you shortly after while repeating your name.

Right after that both of you lay naked on your new bed. Toto is caressing your hair as you are laying on his chest listening to his heartbeat. He breaks the silence first

“Are we good?” he asks

“I am good” you reply

“I am talking about our fight.” he says

“Oh I thought that it was established when you were repeating my name while having sex with me.”

“You’re right.” he says and stares outside the window while the sun is setting. Both of you sit in silence for a minute or two until you break it

“He’s not better.” you say

“Huh?”

“Marc Taylor. He’s not better than you. It was nothing but a kiss, Toto.” you tell him “And yes, he might be a European billionaire’s son and he might as well be hot and charming but you are also all those things, which surprise, happen to be everything I seem to look for in a man. But I need you to know Toto, in my eyes you are more charming and hotter than him. I would give Marc Taylor up for you but I wouldn’t give up you for Marc Taylor.” you tell him and you look up at him while he’s staring at you, clearly paying attention to what you were telling him.

“Thank you.” he says

You keep laying there and by the time the sun sets you are already asleep. You wake up an hour later and you see Toto is also taking a nap. You nudge him and he wakes up.

“What is it ?” he says being somewhere between asleep and awake

“Nothing, we just fell asleep here.” you say

“You’ve got a nice bed. Good choice.” he says

“I know but I have to get up to finish the rest of the apartment.”

“No one is helping you?” he asks

“Sara was here until she abandoned me to go to her gym session. Now I have to do this all by myself.”

“You know you don’t have to do all of it today right? You are going to be exhausted. Plus I can also help you with unpacking.”

“No, you probably have work to do. I’ll do them by myself and tomorrow Sara will be here to help me”

“Who is Sara?”

“My best friend. She’s the one that found this apartment for me” you tell him

“So she’s the one that I have to thank?” he asks and you nod while laughing.

“You will meet her as soon as I get back to Red Bull.”

“Which is going to be when?” he asks

“I know you want to get rid of me but I don’t have any information yet. Beth usually sends me my schedule the week before each grand prix and judging by the fact that she didn’t send it until now, I think this won’t be the weekend you are looking forward to.”

“Maybe you should start packing your things for Baku.” he says

“I don’t have anything to do there.”

“Come on, I told people Mindy Rosevelt will hang with us for a while longer.”

“Second race at Mercedes?” you ask excitedly

“The Ritz in Baku has already been informed that we would like an extra suite.”

“Toto, a suite? Again?”

“You always need a suite, love.”

“Do you have plans for Baku?” you ask

“How about we go to the paddock together, you sleep in my suite and you help us during the race?”

“So you only want me to be there to tell you about Red Bull’s strategies so you can win?” you say playing offended

“I only want you to be there because you make it easier for me to focus when you are next to me rather than in the garage next to ours. And because I want you in general.” he says

“That’s a good excuse.” you tell him

“After all, even if it was only for the strategy part, you should remember that all’s fair in war.”

“And love.” you say

“That also” he replies

“When are we leaving?”

“Wednesday night, with my jet from Nice airport.”

“Good.” you say

“Put some clothes on, we are going to unpack the rest of the boxes.” he says

“Yes sir.” you say

“Sir huh? Remind me of that the next time I am laying in bed with you” he tells you and you laugh as you stand up to put some clothes on. For the rest of the evening you and Toto unpack the boxes that you and Sara left. Both of you laugh as he makes fun of your music taste. He even dared to make fun of Taylor Swift, which you did not take lightly but still forgave him when he danced with you in the living room of your new apartment and when you both watched the harbor from the balcony. It is almost midnight when he decides he has to go.

“Why do you have to go now?” you ask

“The apartment is almost ready, Sara can help you set up the last box and I have to work tomorrow, unlike you.”

“You are literally working from home and your home is downstairs, why can’t you stay for the night and leave tomorrow night?” you complain

“Because this is your apartment, your space. You have to spend the night alone to get used to the feeling.”

“I’ve lived alone before, I know how it is.”

“Yes but now it’s different, you'll see.”

“Can’t it be different with you here?”

“It can, but I am positive you will be better off alone for this night.” he says “We won’t be lost after all, I will be downstairs, you can call me any time.”

“Okay” you tell him “Can I kiss you goodnight?” you ask

“What happened to you? You are too expressive!” he says

“I know, you are not used to it.”

“No, I am used to you being expressive, just not very emotional.”

“Changed state of mind” you say

“I like it.” he says “And to answer your question” he leans in and kisses you deeply “I was going to do it anyways.”

You smile at the gesture “Goodnight Toto.” you say

“Goodnight love.” he replies and he leaves.

You close the door and walk straight to bed where you immediately fall asleep.

The next day you text Sara and she drops by for a morning coffee in your new balcony. As soon as she enters the loft she looks around.

“Wow Horner, did you get any sleep?” she asks

“I actually did.”

“How did you unpack all of those boxes by yourself?”

“I didn’t do it by myself” you tell her

“Omg, who did you invite?”

“No one, a neighbor helped me.”

“Oh, you’ve already met your neighbors? That’s crazy. Are any of them hot?”

“Yeah I met one of them because he wanted to complain about the noise. And yeah, he was hot. In fact for me he is one of the hottest.”

“What happened to Miss Toto Wolff is the hottest man on earth? Did she disappear?”

“No she didn’t, because actually Toto Wolff IS the freaking neighbor.”

“What the hell?” she asks “Girl I need coffee and Monte Carlo air STAT.”

You make her coffee and your tea and go to the balcony where you sit on a big white table.

“Turns out Wolff is my freaking neighbor. He’s living downstairs and he heard the noise during quiet hours so he decided to give me a notice.”

“But when he saw you he forgot what he noticed” she says

“No actually he did make the notice and then we pretty much fought for Marc, ended up having sex, had a nap and then unpacked all of my boxes. We danced together in the living room and then he left because he had to work today.”

“You used the bed for the first time to have make up sex with Wolff?” she asks

“I pretty much did yeah” you tell her

“You are crazier than I thought you were.” she says

“I am crazier than I thought I were” you say

You tell her everything that happened yesterday night as both of you drink your beverages watching the view from your balcony. Later on Sara helps you unpack the last box and your apartment is finally set. The next few days you pass your time by hanging out with Sara and your other best friends who happen to be in Monaco. Toto drops by some days and you two hang out for some hours until one day you finally ask him for a Mercedes project to work on so you can spend your time by being more productive. Days pass and it’s finally Wednesday morning when you are actually packing your clothes for Baku. You take mostly summer clothes even though you won’t be able to wear any of the to the paddock. You also take your extra Mercedes shirts and pants as well as Toto’s Mercedes shirt. You make sure everything is there. After that you call Sara to drop by so that you can say goodbye to her and spend the rest of the day alone at the apartment until Toto knocks the door to let you know that your driver has arrived and is ready to take you to Nice to finally fly to Baku. A car ride and a flight later you and Toto land in Azerbaijan. Both of you wait in the jet until the car is ready to take you from the plane to the hotel. At that time the cockpit door opens and you take a look inside. The pilot who goes out of the cockpit is not Mike. You raise your eyebrow at this and you look at the door more intensely for Toto to notice.

“What are you looking at?” he asks looking up from his phone

“Our pilot.” you say

“What about him, are you not satisfied?” he asks

“No, I am. But the question is, where is Mike?”

“He’s on leave, why?”

“Just wondering”

“Why would you care about him?”

“Because I like him”

“Noted” he says and turns back to his phone without speaking

“Are you jealous Wolff?” you ask

“No”

“Are you sure?”

“End of discussion” he says and you laugh

“Okay sir.” you tell him

After that the crew opens the door and you get off the plane. You already made sure that you have your mask on you so people won’t recognize you. Back to the same old ways. You take a ride to the hotel and you walk straight to your suite in which some other Mercedes employee checked you in before you arrived. Toto goes back to his own suite even though he asked you to hang out with him instead. You settle down in your suite and check Toto's schedule for the weekend

13:30-14:00: Press conference

14:10-14:50: F1 Team Principal Meeting

14:50-16:00: Coffee Break

16:00-17:00: Team Meeting

18:00-20:00: Business meeting

20:30: Dinner

You open your phone and text Toto

You

I’ve been taking a look at your schedule, is everything to your agreement?

Wolff

Yes, all is checked and approved

You

Good to know. By what I'm seeing, it’s going to be a full day. I mean press, team meetings and business meetings

Wolff

Oh is it actually on my schedule?

You

The business meeting? Yeah it’s tabbed in from 18:00 to 20:00. Should I remove it, is it wrong?

Wolff

No, let them believe that I’m busy during that time.I have already planned something. It’s not a business meeting, it is supposed to be a meeting for us two but I told Brad that I will be busy so I guess he thought it was business related

You

Oh, so I am busy from 18:00 to 20:00 too? What are we going to do ?

Wolff

I would let you be curious but we are supposed to go to a boat trip in the Caspian. I’ve chartered a boat for a couple of hours and then we will be having dinner too, so please do not wear high heels.

You

Oh I love boat trips so no high heels

It’s not like I could put heels on though, I will be dressed in the Merc gear all day long

Wolff

Well pack another outfit but still no high heels

You

Okay then. I guess I’ll see you later?

Wolff

Tomorrow

You switch your phone off and fall asleep for a few hours. It’s already early in the morning since you left Nice at night and the flight lasted a long time but thank god you didn’t have to be at the paddock until noon. You wake up at 11 and order some breakfast. You get ready and phone Toto to let him know you are ready. 10 minutes later you are on your way there in his black AMG SUV and you see the fans taking photos of the car. Well it’s Toto they’re taking pictures of since they have no idea about who you actually are. You get out of the car and go to Merc’s hospitality. You wave Toto goodbye and you go to your office while he’s off to his. Later on you hear a knock at your door.

“Who is this?” you ask

“Mindy, it’s Lewis.” you hear a voice

You stand up and put your mask on before opening the door. Better safe than sorry. When you open the door you see that it’s indeed Lewis so you welcome him in. You take off your mask and sit on the little couch

“How is it going?” he asks

“Everything’s good, thank you. How are you?”

“Good. You know how it is. Just running around, trying to keep up with everything.”

“Lewis Hamilton trying to keep up? I am pretty sure everyone is trying to keep up with you, not you with them.”

“Well yeah, when it comes to F1 it’s pretty much how you say it is. But in real life I have so many things to keep up with.”

“I bet you do. Like I am pretty sure you are flying to New York as soon as the race ends.”

“I am. Met Gala.” he says and you laugh

“So you won’t be here for post race celebrations if you win. I guess I should hand the win to George this time, or maybe let Red Bull win.”

“Don’t you dare”

“I won’t Lew, you know you’re my fav. But if you want to secure the win, I need to get in the Met next year.” “Deal.” he says

“Oh god Lewis, I was only joking.”

“I know, but I am pretty sure that I can land you an invitation.”

“We’ll see until next year.” you tell him “Is Roscoes coming to the gala?”

“No, I am actually sending him back to Monaco for the week and then he’ll be with me in Miami.”

“Where is he going to stay in Monaco?”

“At the pet hotel.”

“Why don’t you leave him with me ?”

“In Monaco?” he asks

“I live there now”

“You do? I can leave him with you, of course.”

“If you don’t fully trust me I can ask Toto for his help. We live in the same building.” “I have so many questions about this but I have to go. It’s gym time.” he says

“We can figure out the logistics about Roscoe later. Have a good session Lewis.” you tell him before he leaves the office

For the next hour or so you hang out in your office all alone and when it is time you leave the hospitality center to accompany him to the press conference. Just when you are outside the press conference center you see Christian and by his side a really familiar face that you cannot remember. You take another look at her while Toto stops dead in his tracks.

“What?” you ask him and he looks confused. You take a look for a third time. You see a familiar girl dressed in Red Bull gear talking to Christian. It’s then when it clicks. The girl is Cynthia. Cynthia Jones dressed in Red Bull speaking to Christian. What the heck is this about? You can feel the anger rising to your chest

“Breathe” you hear him say

“That’s too far” you tell him

“It’s crazy.” he says “Go talk to her, find out what this is all about.”

“I will" you say

“Just be careful not to reveal too many things"

“Of course"

Toto glances at his watch. 12:55

“I should get going, press is starting in 5"

“Okay, I'll see you later" you tell him and he nods “Do you wanna meet here?"

“I’ll be straight off to the TP meeting. I will see you during the coffee break, okay?”

“Okay”

“Try to find out what Cynthia is doing here.” he says

“I will” you tell him and you smile

“And if you are too angry about what you find out, I have some files you can take a look at while you’re waiting.”

“Okay” you say and you leave him. You spot Cynthia hanging out outside the press center and you decide to approach her

“Hello.” you tell her

“Hi” she replies and smiles “Oh, you’re Mindy right? The girl who gave us the Mercedes tour in Jeddah?”

“Yup, that’s me.” maybe not “What are you doing here?” you ask her

“I landed a job in Red Bull Racing. Isn’t it crazy?” she says

“Oh definitely. You went from visiting the paddock to actually working here, congrats!” you try to play excited when you are actually fuming

“It was meant to be. I landed the job when I was visiting the paddock in Jeddah.”

“How come?”

“Christian Horner met us at the paddock club and he asked what we were doing. Once I told him about my studies in management he asked to see me in person and then he proposed this job.”

“What’s your position?”

“For what I’ve understood, I am currently sort of replacing Christian’s daughter while I am also acting like his PA.”

“Oh so management?”

“It’s still too early for that title and I definitely don’t have that much freedom as an executive does. I am thinking it more like an internship in management while also being a personal assistant to Christian.”

“Oh Christian” you say and you roll your eyes

“He’s not as bad as everyone thinks he is.” she says “He might actually be better than Toto”

“Yeah, nah” you tell her “Toto is actually definitely more human-ish than Christian.”

“And how would you know? Have you ever worked with Christian?” she asks jokingly. If only she knew

“No but judging from the paddock rumors he seems to be a tough one to handle.”

“Absolutely not. He is really kind and funny. Really chill type. He made me call him by his name since day 1. It’s really like we’re friends.”

“That’s really good for you.” you say

“What about Toto?” she asks. As if she would let it go

“Mr. Wolff is really nice.”

“You’re not calling him Toto?”

“No, he prefers to keep things professional. He’s more into being formal and things.”

“Must be boring” she says

“It’s pretty good for now and I’m always guessing, familiarity might be a little too much at some point.”

“Christian has been saying this about his daughter.”

“He has?” you ask slightly nervously

“Yeah, he said that working with family might be a little too overwhelming at some point.”

“Well he’s kinda right. Did he say why she left?”

“From what I’ve taken they decided that she should take a break and she’s currently hanging out in Monaco in her new apartment. He’s thinking of taking her back by the Monaco Grand Prix but he’s not sure yet.” she tells you

“Oh, well. Whatever suits them best.”

“Yeah, we are not the ones to judge.”

“Definitely not.”

“It was really fun talking to you again Mindy. We should hang out sometime.”

“Yeah definitely.” It’s not like you slept with the man I am sleeping with. you think

You wave at her and leave the press center to wait until Toto finishes his morning tasks. You open the F1TV stream and watch his interview. When Will starts asking a question to Franz Tost you decide to text Toto about your findings.

You

Turns out Cynthia Jones is staying in my life for good cause apparently Christian hired her in my position during the Saudi GP. And I wasn’t even out of the team for a week

You see him holding his phone and taking a glance at it while Franz is speaking. He rolls his eyes and puts the phone back in his pocket. You stay once again in your office, going through Toto’s schedule for the weekend and looking at your socials. Some time later your phone rings

Wolff

She’s going to make our lives hard but it's very typical of Christian to hire someone from the first day that you left

You

She even proposed that we should hang out

Wolff

If only she knew

You

That’s what I said

Wolff

She was waiting outside the press center for Christian and now they’re both in front of me walking to the TP meeting. She’s talking and Christian is laughing like he’s having the time of his life

You

I figured she’s that type of assistant cause according to her she and Christian are practically besties now. It’s going to be a good one when I get back to rb

Wolff

Remind me to mount a secret mic and camera on you when that happens cause I want to see the Horner-Jones fight.

You

I bet you she’s going to regret the day she agreed to that position

Wolff

Whoa, too aggressive. How about checking some data before the coffee break cause rumor has it that you love reading data and commenting on them

You

Anything to get her off my mind and anything for you Mr. Wolff

Wolff

I’m flattered. There’s a file in your email waiting for your comments and questions. Bet Bono is going to be thrilled. I am off to the meeting, see you soon.

After Toto’s messages you check your email to take a look at the file he sent you. It’s full of data and details about this year’s rocketship. It is then when it hits you. The data are from the simulator and the track they’ve been using is Barcelona. In Red Bull you always used to run simulations in Barcelona so you have the exact same data from your ex team. You open them and start comparing them and finding where Mercedes lacks compared to Red Bull. You also open Adrian’s and GP’s essays on car performances and start noting any questions or things you’ve noticed. You really hope Toto will actually use them in his meeting with Bono and James. However, you keep all of the comparisons to yourself. You are not sure Toto is in favor of cheating so you will probably announce it to him later during the coffee break. You make a new file and email it to his account. Later on you hear a knock on your door.

“It’s Toto” you can hear him say and you unlock the door for him to enter.

“Hey.” you say

“Hi, how are you feeling?” he asks

“I am good. I read all the data and I relaxed so much.”

“Well, I, on the other hand, almost had a fight with Christian.”

“Why?” you ask

“Because he was being a douchebag.”

“Nah, he was just being Christian” you tell him and he laughs

“Was the data any good?”

“Yeah, I also emailed you my questions and stuff.”

“Oh, I will be forwarding them to James and Bono.”

“Speaking of the data, I saw they were sim data from Barcelona.”

“We use Barcelona almost every time for our simulations.”

“Well, it turns out, Red Bull does too.” you tell him and he looks at you, suggests to keep talking “I have the comparisons fully made here. There’s also an excel file with all the lacks and the sections Red Bull might present an advantage.”

“This is interesting.”

“I know Toto. But the thing is, I didn’t email those to you because I didn’t know if you wanted to have access to all that information.”

“I totally get it.”

“You should understand that this is confidential, but if you decide you want it, it will be in your inbox right away.”

“This file can affect the whole development path for us.” he says

“I know, that’s why I kept it.”

“You should keep it for yourself.”

“I swear I won’t give this to Red Bull.”

“I trust that you won’t” he says

“I will always have it at hand if you want to use it though. Anything for Mr. Wolff” you say and both of you laugh

“Thank you.” he says “Do you want some coffee and a snack? It’s coffee break after all.”

“No, thank you. You can leave this tiny office and enjoy your coffee in your office. I feel bad for keeping you here.”

“I am only hanging out here because I want to.” he says “But I’ll leave you alone. We’ll have enough time tonight.”

“Of course.” you smile at him

“Meet you after the team meeting ?”

“I will be waiting.”

Once Toto leaves for his coffee break and the team meeting later you decide to go out and see the track. There are some bikes available at the hospitality center so you grab one and ride at the track of Baku. You see other people doing the same thing, some of the drivers are also doing their track walks. At some point you spot Max. It’s been a while since you talked considering the fact that you didn’t even see him in Jeddah but you kept texting during that time. When you spot him it is in your impulse that you almost yell at him to go and talk to him. When you remember that you are actually supposed to be an unbothered Mercedes employee you change your mind, and as you are caught up in your thoughts you almost lose your balance. Thankfully you save it before you find yourself in the ground or the barriers and you keep your direction and finish your lap. 6 km later you are back in your office, thankfully not sweaty since you took your time to circle the track, and you also have a cup of tea and a chocolate bun as a snack. You take a bite as you see today’s headlines from the Media day and you also take a look at some market news. After a while Toto texts again

Wolff

Just finished asking all of your questions to the mechanics and they were impressed to say the least because they managed to assess some really important things for the race

You

Next time I should be present in those meetings

Wolff

I will personally make sure of it. We will be done in 25, I’ll pick you up. Don’t be late

Those 25 minutes pass by quite fast and you don't realize until Toto is knocking at your door. Thankfully you packed your stuff earlier so Toto cannot complain about you being late.

“I am impressed.”

“I didn’t actually understand how fast the time passed. Thank god I had my things packed.”

“That’s why I texted you earlier.” he says

“Yeah but you cannot complain now.” you reply

“No, the truth is I cannot.”

“Are we going straight to the boat?” you ask

“Yes, that’s why I told you to pack another outfit. Tell me you didn’t forget”

“I did not”

“Good. Now get your stuff, we are leaving.” After that both of you leave the track and go to the boat Toto has chartered for a couple of hours. He helps you hop on the boat and he does the same

“Are you going to drive this?” you ask

“Are you scared?”

“It depends on whether you are driving this thing or not”

“I am driving”

“Are you allowed to do this?”

“You are shitting yourself” he laughs

“Yeah because if we drown, imagine the headlines people will write.”

“We’ll be the next Rose and Jack.” he says

“Yeah, almost.”

“Just so you know, I am fully capable of navigating the boat.”

“For real?”

“I have a sailing license.”

“Is there anything you can’t do ?”

“Think straight when you’re with me.”

“Very funny.”

“It’s true.” he says and you take a look around and see people walking up and down the harbor “What about finally leaving? We’re going to miss the sunset if we take any longer.”

“Let’s go” he sails and he undocks the boat.

The two of you sail in the Caspian leaving the Baku port behind you. Toto is making sure that everything he does is safe, occasionally checking on the radar to see whether there are other boats in close proximity. You sit by his side and snap a couple of pictures of him while he’s driving the boat. He looks absolutely stunning. It’s already late afternoon, 19:00-ish and the sky is starting to get sweeter, indicative of the sunset later on. When you are finally out of the waters in a space that is far enough from the shore but close enough so you can distinguish the structures of the city, Toto drops the anchor and stops the boat there. “That’s quite a nice view.” you say

“I figured you would like it” he says and comes to your side

“You can actually see the whole city from here.”

“I figured that since we are not able to see the city together on foot, maybe this is the second best option.”

“It is. Although I would have loved a nice walk and a tour of the old city.”

“I would have loved that too.” he says as you keep looking at the city behind you and puts his hand on your lower back.

“This right here, is the Maiden Tower," Toto points at a tower and your gaze follows his finger

“Legend has it that a young princess jumped from the top and ended her life because her father wouldn’t accept the man she loved."

“Hope I won’t end up this way.”

“God, I hope not.” he laughs and you shift your gaze to the two largest towers in the scenery

“The flame towers.”

“I know them Toto, I’ve been coming to Baku for a while.”

“Let me give you a tour, Horner. Don’t be shit.” he says and you smile

“Go on then.”

“The flame towers were finished in 2012. The building is a little less than 200 meters and it has a double purpose. In the first tower there are a lot of offices and apartments and in the second tower there’s a hotel.”

“What are they supposed to mean?”

“They are meant to symbolize the eternal spirit of Azerbaijan and the country's enduring strength and resilience. Plus the whole flame design idea came from an Ancient Azerbaijani tradition of fire worshiping.”

“I love them, they look so pretty.”

“And right beside there’s the crystal hall.”

“Never heard of it” you say

“Eurovision was hosted there in 2012.”

“Wait, how do you know, are you a fan ?” you ask him

“No, I hate Eurovision.”

“What?!” you say surprised. “You’re European, you cannot hate eurovision.”

“I can, and I do.”

“But why?”

“Because it’s kitsch”

“It’s not kitsch, it’s camp, everyone loves camp.”

“It’s kitsch and I hate it, move on.” he says

“I cannot wait for the day that I will make you watch it.”

“I’d rather Christian find out about us.”

“That’s a bold one” you tell him

“Last but not least, the fortress.” he says ignoring you and points to it

“I’ve seen the fortress, I took a ride at the track today.”

“How did you like it?”

“It’s so pretty, but it’s prettier from the sea. And much more interesting when you talk to me about it.”

“Hm” he says and he puts an arm around you

“How did you learn all those things?” you ask

“I read a lot, even if I don’t have time to see the sights, I like to read about them, get to know the story of the city that I am in.”

“That’s fair. I was wondering because I’ve been here like five times and I’ve never gotten past the name of each sight here.”

“That’s good because you can for once, not talk and let me show you around.”

“You’re the best tour guide I’ve ever had.” you smile at him and you leave a kiss on his cheek.

During the next hour you stay on the boat in the Caspian and see the sun set on the horizon. You take a look at the flame towers which reflect the orange and pink lights of the sunset. You snap some pictures of the scenery as well as Toto who is sitting carelessly in the boat with his white linen shirt and his sunglasses on. He also snaps some pictures of you from both yours and his phone and you also take some selfies. You immediately set the best picture of him as his contact picture and once you are done with the whole photo thing you get back to where Toto is currently sitting and relax with him for a little while longer. You two soak in the views without talking much. As it starts to get darker Toto drives the boat back to the harbor where you dock and leave to get to the hotel. Both you and Toto enter the elevator to get to your suites

“You’re coming over for dinner right?” he asks

“Well, I was thinking of getting some sleep for tomorrow.”

“Come on, I’ve already asked roomservice to have our table set.”

“Now I can’t say no.” you tell him and smile at him. When the elevator gets to your floor you walk out and follow him to the door of his suite. You enter first and he follows and the smell of food hits your senses.

“It smells fantastic.” you say

“It’s traditional Azerbaijani cuisine.”

“I love it. We should have tried the Saudi Arabian foods as well.”

“Well, nothing can go wrong with Italian.” he says

“Then why didn’t we order Italian” you tease him

“Because I wanted to immerse myself in the Azerbaijani culture today.”

“Is it a part of the guided tour?”

“Well, couldn’t it be?” he says “Since I’ve already given you a sight tour, I am ready to give you a culinary tour as well” he tells you as he pulls the chair off the table so that you can take your seat

“Thank you.” you tell him and you sit down as he walks back to his side of the table and sits down

“This is called Dolma.” he says as he leaves one of them on your plate “It is grape leaves with a filling of minced lamb with rice and some herbs.”

“Interesting” you say as you take a look at the plates on the table “Oh god, is this kebab?”

“You know kebab?” he asks

“Literally everyone knows what kebab is Toto, it’s not a secret. It’s actually one of my favorite street foods.”

“It is really good.” he tells you as he grabs a bite of it “You should also try out the pilaf”

You take a look at it “What is this?”

“It’s something like a risotto I guess”

“I thought you knew the exact recipe of every single plate” you tease him

“Apparently I don’t, I just took a look at the menu and chose what I thought was best.”

“Everything looks delicious though.” you tell him

“Wait until Miami. We’re going to eat some great burgers there.”

“Speaking of which, I am not sure that I will be in Miami”

“Why ?”

“Because it was cringe enough last year, I won’t submit myself to that whole cringe fest again.”

“You will be coming.”

“Says who?”

“Me” he replies and you sit there taking another bite of your amazing food, slightly annoyed . When he realizes that what he said made you angry he talks again. “Look, it is really important that you should be there. It is supposed to be your home race, we’ve told everyone that you are American, if you are only staying for a few more races it will be weird if you are not present for the only time you will get to go to a race in your country with the team.”

“No one will remember Toto.”

“People will remember. We have a list of each race in which we note whose home race it is. And by what I’ve seen you are already on the list.”

“I didn’t write my name anywhere.”

“I am pretty sure Bradley did. He probably remembers that you are American and just added you in.”

“And what about the home race list?”

“We are kind of celebrating it by giving them less time to work during the weekend, or allowing them to bring their families in.”

“That’s so sweet though.” you say

“I mean, people are important to us, they are not just workers, they are our companions.”

“I hate this team” you say and you see Toto lifting one eyebrow at you “I mean, I hate how much I already love it. How am I supposed to go back to Red Bull?”

“You can just stay in Mercedes.”

“And say what to Christian?”

“Tell him that his team is shit, his management is also shit and that you cannot grow in that shitty environment.”

“He’ll find out that you told me to say that and then you will find yourself on the cover of Corriere dello Sport.”

“Won’t be the first time.” he laughs “ Jokes aside, would you ever consider leaving Red Bull?”

“Now I certainly do. I mean, I hadn’t seen anything aside from how Red Bull worked as a team and the race weekend at Saudi was eye opening.”

“Is that a yes?”

“I am already considering it, yes.”

“Will be nice to have you here one day, without hiding I mean.”

“I wasn’t talking about Mercedes. I am considering an offer at Ferrari.” you tell him jokingly and he almost chokes at his wine

“Where?”

“Ferrari. It’s a really great team with a great legacy.”

“Ask them for a paddock pass for tomorrow then.” he says and you burst out laughing

“I am only joking.” you tell him “I would consider it if I had an offer from another team though.”

“We will always have a position available for you if you ever decide to leave that shithole.”

“I’ll tell you when this happens.”

“There’s a when, not an if, that’s good.”

“I know what’s best for me and I am slowly convincing myself it’s not Red Bull”

“Good.” he says and you two keep eating until you hear someone knocking on his door .

“I’ll be right back” Toto tells you and answers the door. You can hear him talking with someone, his voice is quite familiar.

“Shov?What are you doing here?”

“Do you have some time to see tomorrow’s practice program?” you can hear him say

“Um, I am actually a little busy.”

“It will only take a second, you should only check and approve it.”

“I fully trust you Andrew, I approve of it.”

“Good.” he says and he almost leaves “Are you having dinner with someone?”

“Yes, with Lewis, we are discussing contract extensions.”

“Has he been here a long time?”

“An hour or so.” Toto tells him

“That’s funny, because 20 minutes earlier I was at the gym with Lewis.”

“Um…”

“It’s okay Wolff, I hope you are having a good time with whomever you are hanging out with right now” he says and laughs “Hello unknown person who is having dinner with Toto.” You hold your laugh until Toto says goodnight to him and he leaves the room. When you see Toto entering the room with his ‘I fucked up’ face, you burst out laughing and he joins you seconds later. “I hope he was not angry” you tell him

“No he wasn’t angry, I am pretty sure he was thrilled about the whole thing. He’s been trying to get me someone to hang out with for ages.”

“You are good mates huh?”

“He’s one of my closest friends, yes.”

“And he still asks for your approval for the program he wants the team to follow tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ve told him millions of times that it’s not necessary but he insists.”

“That’s so sweet of him.”

“I am only taking a look at it before approving it, it’s not like I pay that much attention, I fully trust him.” he tells you and you keep eating

“When are we leaving for Miami?” you ask

“We? I thought you weren’t coming.”

“I am, I also have to bring Roscoe with me, I promised Lewis that I will take care of him from Sunday till we get to Miami so that he doesn’t have to while he’s in New York for the Met.”

“You promised Lewis that you will carry Roscoe all the way from Monaco to Miami?”

“That we will carry him, yes.”

“How did I get involved in this? I don’t remember having any conversation about a dog.”

“I told him that I would take care of him and then I promised that you will help me since you’re now my neighbor. I figured you would know him a little better than I do. I mean Lewis brings him to the paddock almost every week.”

“And have you ever seen me with a dog in the paddock?” he asks

“No, but I thought you had a good relationship with him.”

“Me and Roscoe’s relationship is nonexistent, Horner.”

“Oh god, tell me you are afraid of Roscoes” you make fun of him

“I am thinking of leaving Nice on Thursday morning.” he says

“You are changing the subject.”

“I am not, you asked me when I plan on leaving for Miami and I answered.”

“Thursday huh? What about Media day?”

“I’ll have Shov or either one of the two James to do it and we will be present for the Free practice.”

“Cool.” you tell him

For the rest of the night you hang out together until you decide to leave.

“Will we be going to the paddock together?”

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning.”

“What’s the schedule for tomorrow? Hold up, let me check.” you tell him and grab your phone out of your pocket to take a look. “Oh you have a business meeting after FP1 which is supposed to last almost until the start of FP2. James is set to do the press.”

“I don’t remember having any business meetings. Who is it with?”

You take a look at your phone reading the name which catches you completely off guard. You blink twice and take another look at it, still the same name. “Who planned this?” you ask

“I don’t know, I don’t remember planning anything for Saturday. Maybe Bradley did.”

“This cannot be real.”

“It better not be Cynthia again.”

“Who cares about her right now?”

“Will you tell me who I am meeting tomorrow for whatever reason or am I going to this meeting unprepared?”

“The guy you hated last week, Marc Taylor?”

“Seriously?”

“I am dead serious Toto, his name is here.” you tell him and show him the name on the schedule. “You are supposed to discuss sponsorship. Apparently the Taylor Group is interested in investing in F1”

“This is going to be a hell of a meeting.”

“This is going to be a disaster.”

“Funny that both of the people from our past keep appearing in our ways.”

“It’s not funny, it’s shit. Toto, promise me you will handle it gracefully.”

“Dear, I have nothing to be afraid of. You’ve proven to me who you’re always thinking of. It’s pure business. If he wants to invest and it favors the team then we shall cooperate.”

You take a deep breath “That’s too much information and it’s already getting late. I am guessing I should get going.”

“Won’t you stay for the night?”

“Nah, it’s quite early in the race weekend and I want you to focus tomorrow. Both for the testing sessions and the Marc thing.”

“Okay, see you tomorrow?”

“I am actually thinking that maybe I should skip FP1 since Marc will be around, I don’t want him finding out who I am.”

“Smart idea.”

“I am going to drive myself to the track and meet you for FP2”

“Brunch at the track?” he asks

“Oh definitely.” you tell him and you kiss him goodbye as you go back to your suite. You don’t have anything to do so you decide to check your emails before going to sleep. You see a new message popping up the list From: Netflix, DTS

Miss Horner, we would like to schedule our next shooting with you for the newest season. Please let us know if and when you are available to be present at the track where the interviews take place.Kind Regards, The DTS Producers

You shrug and decide to answer From: Ms. Horner

Hello and thank you for contacting me, I am currently taking some time off the team and I am not aware of which race weekend I will be back in the paddock. I will however be happy to inform you as soon as I find out about my whereabouts within Red Bull. Regards, Miss Horner

You set your alarm at the same time Toto’s and Marc’s meeting is supposed to take place and then switch off your mobile and fall asleep. The next morning you wake up just in time to actually take a shower and get ready to go back to the track. You arrive there just in time for FP2. Everyone’s already in the garage so you decide to go there directly. As always, you see Toto sitting at the top of the fantasy island watching over the two garages. “Hello Mr. Wolff.”

“Oh, you’re here!” he says

“How did your meeting with Marco Barco go ?” you say and as soon as the words get out of your mouth you see Marc Taylor himself walking next to Toto with his headset on “How did you just call me?” he asks and you freeze, mainly because no one calls him like this except from you, the Horner you, not the Mindy Rosevelt you. “How did I call you?”

“Did you call me Marco Barco?” he says and Toto looks at the both of you slightly confused

“I called you Marc. Just Marc.” you tell him

“Alright.” “Mindy, this is Marc Taylor, he’s the owner of our newest sponsor. We closed the deal earlier during our meeting.”

“Mr. Taylor, I am so glad that we will have you around more from now on.”

“So am I, I am glad that I actually decided to go for my instinct and invest something in F1.”

“Absolutely.”

A short minute after he asks

“Why are you still wearing a mask? Isn’t it bothering you?”

“Oh no no, it does not. I am actually wearing it because I don’t want to catch any colds and lose my internship days.”

“I see. And where are you from? Mindy right?” By the questions he asks you are already sure that he is suspecting something

“Yes, I am from Boston, US and I ended up here as an intern from Daimler US.” you say and he answers “That’s really cool.” For the rest of the time you don’t interact, Toto isn’t involving in any of your talks and you know it’s because he fears that he’ll fuck this up more if he does. However, he still speaks to you and Marc separately and when he’s talking to Marc he shows off a little more confidence and certainty. It’s like he knows that he’s better than him, which he actually is and you’ve made it clear both that night in Monaco and yesterday after your dinner. The session finishes with the two red bulls on top, followed by the two Mercedes. “P3 and 4 isn’t bad but it’s not P1 and P2 either. I know we’re running similar engine mappings and we still need to be on top.” Toto says in his message to the mechanics.“I am sure we will be there by tomorrow.” you tell him “I should go grab some food because I haven’t eaten yet. I am sure I will see you around Mr. Taylor.”

“I believe so.”

“Marc and I are going to talk a little more and he’ll be off in a while. Talk to you later?” Toto says and winks on you while Marc is on his phone “Of course Mr Wolff. See you later.” you tell him and get back at the hospitality center where you get some food which you take to Toto’s office. You unlock the door with the set of keys he has given you and you set your tray at the table beside his office. You lock the door as you stay inside in order to surprise him. After some time you can hear footsteps approaching and the door handle moves but the door doesn’t open“Oh it is locked.” you can hear Toto say and the next thing you can hear is his keys on the lock. He opens the door and just as he enters the office you speak “I thought we should have brunch together.” The man who enters the room stops dead in his tracks. Of fucking course it’s Marc, followed by Toto who is gesturing something to someone in the hallway. Toto stops and looks at you. Marc speaks first “Horner, what are you doing there?” he asks “Shush Taylor, they’re going to hear you.”

“Why are you sitting in Toto’s office dressed in Merc gear?”

“Ummm” you say and you pause to think “F1 made us have team principal meetings like this in order to boost our relationship” you tell him, not a good excuse. In fact it’s a terrible excuse. “What kind of bullshit do you think you’re selling to me?” Marc asks. Toto is just behind him shaking his head “There’s no point in trying to lie to him.”

“Isn’t there?” you ask and at the same time Marc is taking a look at you. “You’re Mindy? I figured something was wrong here.”

“Look, I need you to shut your mouth about this. No one can know.”

“Why are you here in the first place?” he asks “Christian shut her out of the team for an unknown period of time and she wanted to have access to the paddock without paying herself.” Toto says. “Why didn’t you ask Franz to take you in his team for a while?”

“Because I didn’t want Christian involved in anything.”

“So you two guys had a fight? And what about Mercedes Toto, how is the team going to be safe with all of this.”

Toto tries to explain the situation to Marc “She has already signed NDAs about the team, and I wouldn’t even take her in if i didn’t trust her.” You take a deep breath and Toto understands the position you are in so he decides to leave you and Marc alone for a second “Should I go fetch us something to drink?”

“Yes please.” you tell him

“Why did you end up out of the team in the first place?”

“I was late to a business meeting. You know how Christian is with them.”

“And he threw you out. How long has this been going on ?”

“Not long ago, the GP in Jeddah was my first one with Merc.” you say. Marc stays quiet for a while and his eyes spark with realization a minute or two later. “Oh god, it’s him, isn’t he?”

“What?” you ask him. “The guy you’re heads over heels with? The situationship man! That’s why he’s the one you turned to for the paddock access and that’s why he gave it to you. You two are dating right?”

“Well yeah, it is him but I told you before, no one can know okay?”

“Of course. How long have you been together?”

“We are not together yet, we are just spending time.”

“Yeah right and he took you in his team because he’s just spending time with you.” he tells you and you laugh “I might not know him for a long time but I can tell who I am making deals with. He’s a very direct guy.”

“I know he is.”

“If it’s not me, he’s the next best option.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying since this has been happening.”

“I am happy for you, really.”

“Thank you Marc.” you tell him. Later on Toto comes back with your drinks and the three of you discuss for sometime. Later on and only after you’ve completed your duties for the day you wave Toto and Marc goodbye and go back to your hotel. You sit in your room, have an extra long video call with Sara in which you tell her everything about today and all the days you’ve been missing from Monaco and she texts you a photo from her balcony in Monaco which you post in your official instagram story in order to make everyone believe that you are actually there and not in Azerbaijan. You watch a bunch of drive to survive episodes to prepare for your upcoming interviews and then take a long relaxing shower. Before you even realize it is time for dinner and just as you were thinking of it you get a text

Wolff

Are you coming over for dinner?

You

Nah, I am actually thinking that maybe I should get some rest before tomorrow. I will be ordering something here instead

Wolff

Okay. I hope you are alright

You

Yes, all good but I would like to be excluded from tomorrow’s practice session. Only if I am not needed that is

Wolff

You are always needed but you are always working hard and think you deserve to have the session off

You

Thank you Toto, I won’t forget that ;)

Wolff

I hope you won’t

After your chat with Toto you decide to order some dinner in your room and after that you spend some time on your socials before going to bed. The next day you wake up early as you hear someone knocking at your door. Well, it’s not just someone, in fact, it is Lewis who is at your door and right by his side is his best friend, Roscoe. You were expecting them since Lewis told you he would bring Roscoe over to your suite before hitting the track for FP3 and now you are supposed to take care of him and bring him back to the paddock just before qualifying, when Angela will take over from you. “Good Morning. Were you sleeping?”

“I was yeah but I was planning to wake up either way.”

“This is my good boy Roscoe” he says and he kneels and pats his back “Good boy” he says. “He is adorable.” you tell him and you also kneel to pet him. “He might be a little shy at first, he just wants a lot of cuddling and playing. I am sure he will love you though.”

“I hope he will, we will have to spend some time together before Miami.”

“Toto mentioned that you didn’t want to come, did you decide otherwise?”

“I did yeah, we are planning to come on Friday so Roscoe will be there by then. When are you flying from New York?”

“Thursday morning, I have media duties, I am not like you.” he laughs

“Well, I am not going to the Met either so I guess we are even.”

“Yeah right. Am I going to see you at qualifying?”

“Of course, I plan on coming, I will bring Roscoe to you later.”

“Good, see you then I guess.”

“Bye Lewis.” you say as you wave him goodbye. Roscoe and you enter your suite and you can see him running in his tiny feet trying to take in the space around him. You decide to take a shower but you leave the door open and as soon as you come out of the tub you find Roscoe sitting there waiting for you. For the rest of the time you play with his favorite toy that Lewis left you and he lies on your side as you take a look at the morning news. When the time comes, you get ready and hit the track once again but this time with Roscoe Hamilton on your side. You can see photographers taking pictures of you but you remain completely calm as your face mask and your hair hide your real identity and enter the Mercedes hospitality. You drop Roscoe off to Lewis’ suite where Angela takes over, and text Toto who you can clearly see from the garage that you’re currently sitting in. Toto is just outside making statements to broadcasting channels and companies ahead of qualifying and you are sitting there on the right side of his chair waiting for him to come back as soon as the broadcast of qualifying begins. The session is pretty good for the team, meaning Mercedes and the drivers manage to get P2 and P3. Max is sitting in P1 for tomorrow’s start, a brilliant lap from him you think. “2nd and 3rd are pretty good positions.” Toto says. “The only thing that scares me is Max in P1.”

“We’ve got him, the setup for the race will be even better, Mick has been running the data from the analysis the engineers made based on your comments on the simulator and we’ve seen impressive lap times. We’ll get this for sure.”

“I never doubted their skills, I am sure they can even make the Williams work.”

“They are not doing miracles, they are just engineers.” Toto says and you laugh “They had some good guidance, we wouldn’t have found the exact setup if it wasn’t for you.”

“It’s just Saturday though. We will see tomorrow.”

“You’re right.” he tells you “About tonight, you don’t have any plans right?”

“Except for laying in bed as soon as I get back and ordering dinner I don’t plan on doing anything else.”

“Dinner and movie then?” he asks and you nod “Hitting the track together ?” you ask and he blinks a couple of times. “How come?”

“Well, won’t I be sleeping in your suite tonight?”

“I am surprised that you’re even proposing that.”

“Well if you don’t want to, I have plenty of space in my suite, I will be sleeping all alone again.”

“Okay, dinner and sleepover in my suite for tonight.”

“Will you be doing press?” you ask.“Only for an hour or so, after that I need you with me in the post qualifying meeting with the mechanics.” he tells you. “Where?” you ask surprised. “I need someone to write some notes down for me during that meeting so I figured you would want to join.”

“But-” you hesitate and he interrupts you before you can finish up your sentence “I don’t have any issue with you, I fully trust you.”

“I know, you’ve been quite vocal about it.”

“Well, best believe it. Also, you won’t be there just for note taking, you can partake to the whole meeting with your points or ideas”

“You cannot be serious.” you tell him. “I am as serious as it gets Horner. Wait for me outside your office in an hour.” Toto says as he waves at you and disappears from your sight. After an hour you find him outside your office. Both of you attend the post-quali meeting where you participate with a lot of questions about the performance of the car. At some point you also hear praise from Bono about the setup that you proposed. Well, he didn’t exactly give credit to you, since for him it’s nowhere near your job to give mechanical input about a car set up but he did say that whoever came up with the insights on the setup was a great help. The car was flying compared to the free practice yesterday. It turns out that you actually helped them and you now, more than ever, feel a part of a team that embraces you even if it isn’t directly said to your face. As soon as the meeting is done you and Toto go back to the hotel, wasting no time in the paddock. You get directly back to Toto’s suite where food is already served. The both of you eat and then you relax for a while on the couch

“I am so exhausted from today.” you tell him

“Do you want to sleep?” he asks

“How about we watch a movie?”

“You are going to sleep in the first 5 minutes”

“I promise you I won’t” you tell him “Not if the movie is good anyways”

“How about La La Land?” he asks and you look at him and burst into laughter. “You want to watch La La Land? Are you serious?”

“I just happen to know that you love it.”

“Yeah but do you actually like it?” you ask. Toto clears his voice“Um, I haven’t watched it.” and you answer surprised “You cannot be serious.”

“I am. Whether you believe it or not, I don't watch such movies. Or any movies at all.”

“You are traveling 300 days out of 365 and you don’t watch movies? What do you do on the plane?”

“Read the news, sleep. It’s not that I don’t watch movies, it’s just that it is not on a regular basis.”

“I will make you a cinema fan, I swear. La La Land was game changing for me. That’s what we are going to watch. I don’t care if you don’t like musicals.” you say and you navigate in the TV menu to find the movie stream “Oh and by the way, if you haven’t watched Mamma Mia yet, I will get my ass off this suite and not talk to you until you watch it.”

“I have watched it and I can say that I actually liked it.”

“Aren’t you ashamed to say it Mr. Perfect Image?” you ask him. “Not to you. You clearly watch that kitsch fest that is Eurovision and love musicals so I am not the one to be ashamed here.” he says. “Hey!” you yell at him.“Just press play Horner.” he says and you follow his instructions. During the whole movie you can see he watches with pure interest, even during the songs which he doesn’t know he seems like he’s having fun. You are doing your part to keep him entertained, singing all the songs since this is probably your 50th rewatch. You make all the fun and smart remarks that you’ve seen on socials from other fans of the movie to keep him engaged. When the movie ends, during the epilogue scene and towards the end you can see him tensing, kind of trying to cover his emotions up. As the credits roll you turn to him. “So? What do we think about one of the most amazing musicals made to this day?”

“The ending” he says and pauses. “The ending what?” you ask him. “The ending was weird. Like it really made you believe that this could work but it actually was the ‘What could have been’ moment. It was kind of brutal.”

“Well, that was the intention. To show that two people had to let go of each other to achieve their dreams. It’s because they loved each other that they decided to do this. Now that I am thinking of it, it kind of is brutal, but it’s realistic. Life is brutal sometimes.”

“Do you analyze every movie that you see like this?”

“Well, yeah? That’s the point of watching a movie, it’s not looking at beautiful pictures for three hours straight and then going to sleep.”

“So you’re really passionate about it then.”

“I am yeah.”

“It’s kind of nice that you find things that you really like and are so passionate about them”

“You can also do it, you know. Being that one guy who’s obsessed with managing a team, finance and racing isn’t all you can ever be. You can have hobbies and other interests. I just think you are scared to break that flawless facade, which is funny because I genuinely believe that you are a man that is full of passion and you want to show it to people. You are afraid that if anyone outside of your safety bubble finds that you are human and not a well programmed robot that performs at its peak day in day out, your life will end. I know you try to be open about things that concern you and people around you, like how you’ve been speaking out about your mental health, but showing your real self can be hard for you but you should really try.” you tell him and he sits there just listening “How about we make this a thing? Movie night, once a week. Or more if you have more recommendations.”

“Am I about to turn you into a cinema noob?”

“Shut up.” he says and checks his watch that is resting on the arm of the couch you are currently sitting on. “How about going to sleep? We have to be at the paddock tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah sure.” you say and both of you walk off to the bedroom where you sleep until Toto’s alarm goes off. “Good Morning.” he says, his voice deeper than usual, with that sleep raspiness standing out “Hello.” you tell him and you can feel him shifting next to you“It’s race day”

“I am aware. I have a really good feeling about today.”

“Hm” he says “Do you sense a win?” he asks and he plants a kiss on your cheek. You could get used to it. “I actually do. I feel like we are going to do well.” and you can almost hear him laughing “Who’s we?” he asks you. “Mercedes?” you tell him and he laughs, content that you actually consider his team yours by now.You lay still on the bed for a few more minutes, sitting in complete silence but you can feel the two of you debating whether or not you should get off the bed. You and Toto are too lazy to do anything but like always he’s the one who takes the initiative and moves. “Come on, get yourself ready. We have to be down at the paddock in 45 minutes.”

“I don’t need 45 minutes.”

“Oh you’re sure about that?” he asks. “Positive. You can time me if you want.” you reply.“Yes?” he asks. “Yea. But I am not going to race myself to get ready without breakfast first.”

“I thought you were smart enough to figure out that we are always having breakfast at the track.” You don’t reply, you just sit and stare outside the window while Toto is using his phone. With his serious voice he says “Hey Siri, call Jasmine.” and then his phone starts dialing. It’s not after a minute that a female voice answers the phone. “Hello Jasmine, this is Toto, can I have my full breakfast order done and served in 45 minutes in my office?” he asks and waits for a few seconds. “I also want two servings of the same order, that in my office too, same time.” he says and you smile at the chat he’s having with his employee. “Also, it is really important that you find Mr Lord and let him know that I will not be available for the next 2 hours and I don’t want any distraction while I am in my office. Yes. Yes. Thank you Jasmine.” he says and he ends the call. “Now that you know breakfast is waiting, go get ready. Now.”

“Is this an order?”

“I am already counting.” he says and you run to get ready.You start running around his suite grabbing all of the things you need for race day as Toto sits on the couch scrolling on his phone while he gives you some glances. 15 minutes later you are ready to go, bag on your shoulder, shoes on. “I’m ready” you say standing and looking at him. “You are quick.” he says, still scrolling. “I am. We could go now, although you are not ready.”

“It won't take more than 5 minutes.”

“Really?” you ask “Yes. I just put my clothes on, get my iPad and my computer in my bag and I’m ready to go.”

“Oh I thought you needed time to get your face ready for cameras.”

“Nope, I’m all natural, the one who needs to get her face ready is you.”

“I didn’t do anything on my face except from washing it and applying some sunscreen. I am 100% natural today.”

“I see. Although you cannot convince me that when you were at Red Bull you took less than 35 minutes to get ready.”

“Well yeah I needed like half an hour to get my hair and make up done. I have to get camera ready every day. I was always late and Christian yelled at me so many times. Now no one sees me so it really doesn’t matter if I look like shit.”

“You don’t look like shit, you are great.” he tells you “Aw thanks.” you say and you drop your bag on the floor and sit next to Toto on the couch and give him a peck on his cheek. He turns and looks at you and kisses you right on the lips, instantly deepening the kiss laying you on the couch. You smile in that kiss and keep going, tangling your fingers on his hair, pulling him closer. He puts his hand under your waist and pulls you closer and you can already feel a burning desire. “How about we get back to bed?” he asks. “We have to go Toto” you manage to say between kisses.“I don’t want to leave.” he says. “We can miss the race to be honest.” you tell him. “Yes we can.” he tells you “But we won’t. Plus you’ve already ordered us your breakfast”

“You’re better.” he says and you scoff when you hear his words. “Oh god, behave Wolff” you tell him and you push him away teasingly. You walk away from him and he sits there, resting his head on the back of the couch trying to calm himself. “You got to get ready now”

“Okay.” he says unwillingly and stands up and starts getting ready. Half an hour later you take the walk from the hotel to the paddock which has already begun getting flooded with people. Both you and Toto take your breakfast at his office and then you follow him around in his pre race routine, from fan zones to debriefs, to interviews and finally to the grid. You spot Christian and Max many times during your time there but Toto doesn’t say anything more than a Hello to both of them. You watch Max get ready to hop in the car in front of both Lewis and George and can’t help but feel a bit of anger that he is sitting on pole. You know Mercedes’ car is fast, it’s more deserving to be in P1 than Max. You know you have to work hard to bring them in P1 and P2, because the Red Bull is not slow either, you know the car from inside out, and you know it’s capable of winning. It’s only a race’s time. When it is time you manage to greet Lewis in a flurry of cameras, fans and engineers at the grid and head back to the Mercedes garage. As you head towards the entrance of the garage you hear your (fake) name being called and you turn to see Cynthia outside the Red Bull garage as she shouts good luck to you and you yell back at her, wishing her good luck. You take your place at the fantasy island and watch the race start. Max launches off perfectly, at the right time and Lewis and George get a little left behind. As the race goes on, Max is still in front of the two Mercedes drivers, who are actually closely following him. You keep watching fully focused on the telemetry screens in front of you, and listening to the talks between team members about pace and strategy. Not long after the race start, you see both cars overtaking the Red Bull and launching off into the distance. The cars are quite quick but Max keeps following them, in DRS range. The rest of the field stays back as the two black and the one blue car fight to get the first place. As soon as it is time for strategy calls you can hear the team agreeing on a double stack for the pit stops, and so it happens, but as it is normal, double stacks can’t always be flawless. George’s stop is perfectly timed and great in duration so that the undercut will be strong enough but on the other hand, Lewis who has been really unlucky with some shitty stops has it again. The front right tire doesn’t come off as quick and the stop lasts a whooping 5.6 seconds, which makes Lewis lose a track position to Max and a whole 2 seconds to him as well. Toto gets so frustrated with the stop that he smashes the desk like he always does and the race continues. Toto is all the time on the radio with the strategists and the mechanics and as a result he has no time to talk to you. Lewis is chasing Max but failing. Max is much quicker than he is and when he does reach him he is not able to make a move on him. The race finishes with George in 1st place, Max in 2nd and Lewis in 3rd. As always Toto reaches and presses the button to congratulate George and you can see the message being broadcasted on TV. George happily replies and celebrates, thanking Toto and the team. And then Toto moves on to congratulate Lewis. Lewis is much less excited than George was. He just thanks Toto and the team and switches his radio off. You realize from the first minute of the broadcast that Lewis is kinda pissed off and disappointed.

“We won” Toto turns and tells you with a smile on his face. “Lewis is disappointed I’m sure. But yeah at least George won.” you tell him. “I know Lewis will be disappointed. We let him down today, he’s not going to be glad. He did everything he could but still the car just couldn’t work to get past Max.”. “I am really hoping he will be alright.”

“It’s Lewis, he’s always bigger than this. A title got stolen from him and he kept on going. I am sure he’s going to come out of this car, go to press and celebrate with us even though he might feel bitter about the third position.”

“Yeah, you probably know him better than I do.” you say and then Toto leaves you in the garage while he’s walking around the paddock talking to journalists, Sky Sports, F1 TV. Later on there’s indeed a celebration with the team for George’s win and Lewis’ podium and everyone gathers there. There’s the usual team picture and then the champagne celebrations which everyone tries to avoid but gets caught up to. After the whole thing winds down you find Lewis sitting outside the garage and you sit with him “Congrats for today!” you tell him trying to cheer him up “Uhh, I don’t know man, this isn’t my best result, but thanks either way.”

“Come on Lewis, you know you did the best you could, and it’s okay, I was in the garage next to Toto and right after that mistake he kept on trying and asking on how you could get past Max and even George but I guess the stars didn’t align for you today but for George.”

“I guess you’re right. I feel like I am overreacting but you know I have to keep my head up, nothing comes out of complaining.” Lewis says. “You just somehow became your own therapist and you overcame the whole thing in like 5 minutes. I hate you.” you tell him laughing. “I’ll teach you how to do it, it seems like you will need it when you leave us.” he says reminding you of your situation in Red Bull. “Definitely” you tell him and you sit there in silence for a while until Toto comes by you. “We’ve got to get going, we only got one and a half hour before the jet leaves”.

“You’re leaving now?” Lewis asks and Toto nods but some mechanic comes to talk to him

“Will Roscoe be joining us?” you ask. “About that, I will be flying with Valtteri and will drop him to Nice before flying to NYC. I was thinking about spending a little more time with Roscoe before dropping him off to you. Is it okay if Valtteri drops him by your place later on?”

“Oh no problem, give him my number so that he can text me once you are in Nice.”

“Great!”

“Lewis I really gotta get going, I have to pack my things back at the hotel before leaving.”

“Of course. I’ll see you in Miami. Take good care of Roscoe.”

“I will” you tell him and you wave him goodbye. After that you leave the track alone since Toto is still busy at the track. You go back to your suite and pack your things and with 45 minutes still left you take your phone and ring Toto. “Are you in your room?” you ask. “No, still at the track.” he says and you reply slightly surprised “Wait, what are you still doing on track?”

“I am having a discussion with Stefano about technical directives and he can’t stop talking.”

“Are you sure you’re going to make it? Are your stuff packed?”

“No they are not, I thought I would have enough time to do it now but he thinks we are having a meeting.”

“Why don’t you tell him that you have to catch your flight?”

“Because he will propose that we fly together” he answers “I keep checking my watch but he doesn’t get the message”

“Oh then try to get out of this discussion asap.”

“Will do. See you in a while” he says and he hangs up. You check your bag and you find Toto’s suite card so you decide to go to his suite and pack his suitcase. You take everything off the closet and start folding them and placing them in his carry on, take his shoes as well as his stuff from the bathroom and place them in the suitcase. Lastly you take all of the chargers and laptops and stuff them into his bag. You take a seat on his couch now both of your suitcases fully packed and ready to go but he’s nowhere to be found. 20 minutes before the time that you have to be in the airport your phone rings and his name pops up on the screen. You accept the call. “Hey” you say. You “We are not going to make it on time. I only just got to the hotel.” he says and you hear footsteps outside his door. “And? We still have 20 minutes.”

“Everything is unpacked. We are going to be late.” he replies and the door opens. He sees you sitting on the couch and ends the call. He walks in the hallway with a confused expression“What are you doing here?” he says and you point at the suitcase and bag left in the middle of the living room area. “I packed.” you tell him and you smile. At this very moment you see a very anxious but happy Toto walking towards you and placing a kiss on your head. “Thank you” he says. “I had time to kill, a spare key card and I figured you might be late so I thought why not. I hope that I packed them in the right way. Oh and make sure that I got everything.”

“It’s perfect, thanks.” he says and he takes a look around the suite, looking for things he might have forgotten. Five minutes later you are ready to go, you leave the hotel, you drive to the airport and get there 10 minutes late but still the jet is ready to go. You board, take the seat opposite to Toto and get as comfortable as you can, he takes a book out of his bag and places it on the table in front of you. You take off from Baku and you start feeling slightly worn out. “Sleepy?” he asks. “Is that so obvious?”

“Yes.”

“It’s just that races wear me out so much. In Red Bull it was easier but now I literally spent twice as much energy because of the whole hiding thing.”

“I get what you mean, I can’t get through it without a cup or two of coffee”

“It is funny because the race is during the afternoon but it still drains me”

“You should sleep.” he tells you. “I won’t.” you tell him and he hums “So, tell me about the technical directives you were discussing with Stefano.” Toto starts explaining what he and Domenicalli were discussing along with some other team principals and you try really hard to follow what he was telling you. You were asking him questions but you felt your eyes burning “I will just close my eyes because they hurt but I will keep listening.” you tell him. “Sure” he says and he laughs. “Hey, I won’t sleep.” and he teases you “I bet you won’t.”. You close your eyes and you follow Toto’s voice, keep asking him questions and discussing until you are less and less conscious and fall completely asleep. Almost 4 hours after, you wake up, feeling the plane descending into lower altitudes. You feel surprisingly warm and open your eyes only to see Toto’s jacket all over you. You slept through the whole flight. You move slightly and Toto, who is sitting just opposite to you reading his book lifts his eyes from the book to you.“Glad to see you didn’t sleep.” he tells you “Hey, don’t make fun of me!”

“I love it when you know you are not right and still try to convince others that you are.” You roll your eyes at his comment and take a look outside the window. “Where are we?”

“Almost in Nice, we will be landing in 20”

“Cool. I can’t wait to sleep in my bed.”

“You’re not coming over?”

“No, I’ve had enough of you during the past days.”

“Right.”

“How’s your book?” you ask. “It is good.” Toto says

“I’ll read it after you.”

“I’ll be happy to lend it to you.”

“Oh and if I like it I will need access to that Wolff Reading List.”

“I don’t have a reading list.”

“Oh god what?”

“It is not a competition Horner, I read for my pleasure.”

“So do I but I have a reading list. I read reviews and I sometimes write them anonymously.”

“Well, I don’t give a shit about reviews, I read the synopsis and if I find it interesting I read it. I am sure some of my favorite books have the shittiest reviews but I don’t care.” he says. “Wow, you are stronger than I am. If a review isn’t good I won’t even start the book.”

“That’s some of the shit people of your generation do”

“Oh yes I keep forgetting that you are a boomer.” you joke “We are not going to discuss this again.” he says in a strict tone “Okay sir.” you mock him. “Fuck off, go back to sleep.” he says and he turns back to his book. “Thanks for the blanket by the way.” you say but he gives you no answer and you laugh. “Are you going to drive me back to Monaco?” you ask. “No you should call Marc” he says. “I hate you Wolff.” you tell him. “I hate you too.” he laughs. A short time after you land in Nice and contrary to what he said earlier, Toto orders for all of your baggage to be loaded to his car. You take the drive back to Monaco while discussing paddock gossip which Toto repeats isn’t a thing he does but he happily participates in the whole discourse. Half an hour later you arrive at home, Toto parks the car in the garage and you get your bags out of the car and take the lift to your apartment. You hug him goodbye and go to your apartment where you instantly unpack and get comfortable and sit in your bedroom where you binge watch gossip girl until it is late enough and Valtteri is calling you to drop Roscoe off. You text him your details and 5 minutes later he’s knocking your door. “Hi Valtteri.” you greet him. “Hi” he says shyly, holding Roscoe’s leash on his one hand and a bag with Roscoe’s food and toys

“Lewis told me to drop those off. Including Roscoe.”

“I will be taking care of him while Lewis is in New York For the Met Gala.”

“Oh yeah, I would take care of him but Tif and I have to go to a bike competition in France”

“Don’t worry, I will take care of him instead. Good to see you, did you have a nice flight?”

“Yes, it was pretty decent, you know how it is when traveling in private.”

“Yeah definitely.” you tell him. “We missed you in F1, when are you coming back?” he says and for a moment you freeze before you register that you supposingly weren’t in Baku this weekend. “I missed you guys too. I don’t know when I am coming back yet, I am still adapting to my new life here in Monaco.”

“You are right, we will be happy to see you back.”

“Thank you for dropping Roscoe off for me”

“You’re welcome.”

“Good luck for your competition.”

“Thanks, goodnight!” Valtteri says and leaves you with Roscoe.

Roscoe gets in and moves around the apartment trying to get used to it. You play a bit with him but at some point you are too tired and get to bed where Roscoe joins you and curls next to your feet and falls asleep. You do the same for the night. The next day you wake up in your new home, register the fact that now you have to take care of Roscoe. You take him out for his morning walk and you go back home where you decide to text Sara once again.

You

I am back in Monaco. Are you up for some coffee?

Sara

Oh welcome back! Of course I am up for coffee. Your place or mine?

You

Cafe de Paris in an hour?

Sara

Omg sounds perfect. Gotta go get ready.

You

I will be bringing Roscoe over too

Sara

God I love this dog. Of course bring him over, the dog is a socialite

You shut your phone and start getting ready, dressing up appropriately for the Cafe de Paris. You feed Roscoe and get him ready and after an hour you are sitting in Cafe de Paris with Sara. You both enjoy your drinks while the bulldog is sitting by your side and you keep gossiping about people you know. Sara spills her work gossip and you keep discussing different bullshit. Time goes by and both of you get hungry so you propose cooking dinner at your place. You and Sara get back home and you start cooking a risotto while she drinks wine and you tell her all the paddock gossip. “So turns out Christian hired that bitch who was hooking up with Toto.”

“He did what?”

“Yeah, he hired her during my first week off the team.”

“Oh my gosh. I might sound a bit harsh but don’t you think that your dad is a bit problematic?” Sara asks “I’ve been thinking that since I officially joined the team, S. I just don’t understand his logic” you say and you hear your phone ringing. When you check you see Christian’s face popping up.“Speak of the devil”.

“Hey dad” you say

“What are you doing?”

“I’m good you?”

“No, I mean, what are you doing outside with Hamilton’s dog?”

“Oh Roscoe? Lewis is flying to the Met Gala and he wants someone to take care of his dog.”

“And you suddenly became best friends with Hamilton that he trusts you with his dog? You have the audacity to walk him in Monaco’s most crowded places? There are pictures all over the internet.”

“I think you are overreacting.” you tell him

“How did the dog end up in your hands? Were you in Baku yesterday?”

“What the fuck dad? I was in Monaco, I had Valtteri drop him off.”

“Are you teaming up with them? Do you think it’s going to make me change my mind and take you back?”

“Look, I have a risotto cooking up on my stove and I do not plan on burning this place down, so let me get it straight for you. I am just taking care of a dog that for some reason triggers you in a way that nothing ever has. I am doing a favor to a friend. Nothing to piss you off. I don’t know why you think everyone is constantly plotting against you but the reality is that we are not. Take a chill pill and get used to seeing pictures of me with Roscoe until Lewis takes him back. And for fuck’s shake, let me live my life.” you say and you turn off the call. “What was that about?” Sara asks. “There are pictures of us and Roscoe from today and Christian was pissed because of a freaking dog.”

“Oh then you were right to speak to him like that”

“Thanks” you say. As soon as the food is ready you and Sara enjoy your lunch at your balcony with a sea view and after a couple of hours she leaves you alone. You clean up the kitchen, do the dishes and get changed to a tracksuit and a pair of sneakers for Roscoe’s night walk. You enjoy a walk along the coast of Monte Carlo and later on you come back to your building. To your surprise you see Toto just outside, dressed in a suit while waiting for his car. “Hi” you tell him. “Hello. Out for a walk I see?” he asks. “Yes, Roscoe needed his night walk.” you say as Roscoe approaches him. Toto instantly takes two steps backwards looking at the bulldog “Where are you off to?” you ask. “I’m going to a business meeting.” you are interested about his day “With a sponsor ?” and he replies giving you all the information you ask for “No, it’s for one of my finance jobs.”

“I see.” you say and you spot someone with a phone pointing to you two “We are being videotaped”

“It’s been a while since we’ve last seen you in the paddock miss Horner” he says “Oh yeah, I’ve been having some time off that’s why.”

“I’ve heard the rumors, met your substitute as well. When do you think you’re coming back ?”

“I haven’t decided yet, I am still recharging to be honest.”

“Good thing to do. Take your time”

“Thank you Mr. Wolff, take care.” you tell him and leave him to go back to your apartment. You take Roscoe off his leash and he slowly walks to his bed where he falls asleep. You lay on your couch and check your socials. It’s the first Monday of May and your timelines have already been flooded with Met Gala content, from the setting of the red carpet to some of the celebrities and acquaintances getting ready for the event. You promised Lewis that you will stay awake to see him on the red carpet and for this reason you decide to take a nap. It’s not that late but since you have to wait for Lewis until later that night you chose to kill some time this way so you drift off to a sweet nap. In the middle of your sleep you hear the doorbell ringing and you walk half asleep to the door where you check through the peephole to see who it is and you see the one tall austrian outside your door dressed with the same clothes as earlier. You open the door and you let him in.“What are you doing here?” you tell him, voice sounding a bit hoarse so Toto gets the hint. “Have you been sleeping? Did I wake you up?” he asks a little worried, “Ummm, you kinda did” you tell him, “Oh sorry, I should go then, let you rest.”

“I was going to wake up anyway. I promised Lewis I will watch him on the red carpet today.” you tell him and he asks “What is it today?”. You laugh with his ignorance “Oh god we are never going to get an invite if you keep asking those questions.”

“Why do we need an invitation for this?”

“It’s one of the most exciting nights of the year Toto, the Met Gala, every relatable celebrity dresses up in custom designer pieces that match to a theme and they have a dinner or something.”

“Prom for rich people?”

“Kinda. I am surprised you aren’t aware of it, since Lewis has been going during the past 3-4 years if I’m not mistaken.”

“Pop culture isn’t my thing.” he says while he takes off his jacket and hangs it on a chair nearby. “I can see it” you reply. Toto joins you on the couch, he sits on the side, takes off his shoes and unbuttons the top button of his shirt. You grab your computer and sit close to him. You open the TV and you play the Vogue Livestream of the event while Toto sits bored next to you switching his gaze from the television to the ceiling, to your laptop, to you and then back to the television. As you are watching the event, Toto stands up and takes a look at your bookshelf and he picks a book which he starts reading while you are too busy waiting for Lewis. Toto speed reads the book as you text Lewis asking him to let you know when he will be joining the red carpet. At some point you distinctively hear Roscoe’s paws on the floor as he runs to the living room. He sits just below your feet which you have laid on the coffee table while Toto is laying on the long side of the couch. Roscoe takes a look at you and then at Toto, both of you too far absorbed to be paying attention to him and for this reason the poor dog decides to make you pay attention to him. Roscoe starts barking and in a fraction of a second, Toto slams his book close and starts backing up and climbing on the back of the couch. When you notice him you burst out laughing. You should have been aware that Toto is afraid of Roscoe, that’s why he was skeptical about having the dog in the same place as him during a transatlantic flight. It seems so hilarious to you that a grown ass man such as Toto is afraid of an old bulldog, mainly because Toto is who he is. The intimidating boss, the scary rival. You immediately grab your phone and start recording. “Lewis, I know you’re in line for the red carpet and you probably won’t see this until tomorrow but you have to see this.” you say as you record yourself and then turn the rear camera on. “I don’t know if you are aware of it but it seems like Mr. Wolff here is afraid of your dog.” you say as you see Toto on the back of the couch and Roscoe staring at him. “Hey! It’s not funny, please get him to leave!” he says and just as he completes his sentence Roscoe continues barking at him, Toto’s expression is essentially pure panic at this point but you continue laughing. You know Roscoe just wants to play with him but he is not very much aware of it. “Please just stop recording and get him out of here” he says again, you are still recording. “He’s not going to hurt you” you tell him, “You don’t know it” Toto replies. “Okay Lew, I have to take care of this, we are still waiting for you here” you say and you show the Vogue Livestream on your TV “Have fun!” you say and you stop recording, sending the video to Lewis. After that you leave your phone down, you grab Roscoe and bring him by your side, far from Toto, who seems like he lost 5 years of his life. The dog lays on the couch as you rub his belly and he seems happy. “See, that’s what he wanted. Just a bit of attention and love.” you tell him “Well, if he wanted that he shouldn't have barked at me. I was scared to death”

“Toto Wolff is afraid of dogs.” you say “I am. You cannot imagine how many times I’ve managed to avoid any interaction with this dog during the past 8 years.”

“I was just wondering how Lewis didn’t have any idea of this.”

“Oh, did you send the video? Did I make a fool of myself on Lewis as well?”

“No, that’s not making a fool of yourself, that’s adorable”

“Until Lewis posts it on his socials”

“He won’t” you say

“You don’t know Lewis, he loves making fun of me every chance he gets”

“I mean sometimes you’re hilarious so he’s right, you shouldn’t be angry.” you tell him

“Most of the time I’m not actually angry, I am just acting like I am to make him feel bad”

“You are crazy” you tell him and you turn to catch a glimpse of the screen when you see Lewis coming up the red carpet. “Oh there he goes!” you say and Toto turns his attention to the screen and so does Roscoe once he realizes that his dad is on the tv. “That’s a daring outfit.” Toto comments as he watches Lewis posing on the red carpet. “Oh you suddenly have an opinion on fashion?”

“Why shouldn’t I? You think you’re the only one with a fashion sense?”

“Darling, at least I have more than 3 outfits in my wardrobe” you tell him and he rolls his eyes. He knows you’re right but he still focuses on the television. You see Roscoe staring at the screen and you snap a photo which you post on your instagram stories right after lewis leaves the red carpet. “Did we just sit here to watch Lewis pose on the red carpet for 3 minutes?”

“No, I am hoping he will be back for an interview shortly after.” you say and he nods, going back to the last page of the book he was reading and 5 minutes later Lewis comes on the screen again and both of you watch the interview ss

“You’re an expert on this aren’t you?” he asks “I have been watching for the past 10 years, Toto. Plus, they do love Lewis a lot, it was almost certain that they would give him the interview.”

“They do seem to have a preference for Lewis though.” he says

“The truth is, as much as Max is supposedly my friend, he’s not that relevant out of our little world.”

“How can you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Hang out with him”

“Look, he isn’t as much of a dick as he seems, he’s actually a pretty decent company and he’s a kind soul but only if you are close to him and that’s why he comes off as an asshole to everyone else.” you say and you yawn. “Sleepy?” he asks

“Yeah, I am starting to get tired. Are you going to stay?”

“I would but Roscoe will be here.”

“He can sleep in the guest room, please stay?”

“I will, although I have a meeting tomorrow morning. I’ll just wake up early.”

“Okay” you tell him and you stand up taking Roscoe in your arms “Wanna pet him?” you ask. “Only because you’re holding him” he says as he pets Roscoe who’s now sleepy. You leave your living room and head towards the guest room where you leave the dog, closing the door behind you. By the time you are out the door you see that the living room is already empty and you head to your room where Toto is already laying in your bed. You change into your pajamas and climb in your bed where you fall asleep. The next day you wake up and as Toto said, he has already left for his meeting. You check your phone and you see several texts, the first one from Toto reads a simple Text me when you wake up. The second one is from Marc, saying Parties ahead of the Cannes film festival are just starting, thought it would be nice for us to be seen together, to silence people about our whereabouts. Only as friends though. Accommodation in my yacht. Tristan will be here, bring Sara as well. RSVP. You give it a thought, thinking about how Christian made a scene about Roscoe, and how he asked you where you were. You text Toto first, to make sure it won’t be a problem.

Woke up just fine although i would have liked you to be here and not in that stupid meeting of yours. Also, Marc just sent me an invitation about a party tomorrow and I think maybe I should go, do some pr job, give people something to talk about

Toto

You should go just don’t get too wild

You

I won’t,besides Sara will be probably coming as well.But the thing is it will be in Cannes, but I’ll make sure to be back to Nice on time for the flight

Toto

No problem

You leave your phone on dnd and continue your tasks for the day, doing some light cleaning on your apartment when the doorbell rings. You open the door and you find a donut and a cup left on your doormat, the cup has a note on "Sorry for not being here for breakfast, consider this as my not so homemade breakfast." You smile and shut the door, immediately texting Sara, inviting her over for coffee and gossip. Once she comes over you share the news on the party for which she agrees immediately and she proposes a shopping spree for the party. You agree with her and shortly after you are off to the shops where you try on different outfits, occasionally texting Toto for his opinion on some of the outfits. At the end of the day, Sara ends up with 4 or 5 bags from the shops and you buy one simple black dress from Sandro to wear for the event. You grab a drink at the Blue Gin and you head back home where you pack your bags both for the party at Cannes and for the trip to Miami. Before you get back to bed you receive a text from Marc.

Marc Taylor

I will be waiting for you tomorrow morning for our trip to Cannes

You

Where will we find you?

Marc Taylor

At the marina, we will be using my yacht obviously

You

We will be there @ 10:30. Should we bring coffee?

Marc Taylor

We have a barista on board. Just get your bags.

The next day you wake up, dressing up with a maxi sundress suitable for the yacht trip. You later meet Sara and her driver drops you off at the Monaco marina, right outside Marc’s yacht. You get on board as members of Marc’s staff get your bags on the yacht and into your rooms. You follow Marc straight ahead and join him and Tristan on the deck. You can see people with cameras taking pictures of you from the marina and you play along. You do want paparazzi to see where you are and who you are with, you are confident that they will be running the story before the party today. You greet Tristan and walk the deck, taking the sun in and gazing into the mediterranean. Sara snaps some pictures of you and then the yacht leaves Monaco and sails to Cannes. “What time does the party start?” you ask,"At 8 I believe.” Tristan replies, “We have to start getting ready as soon as we arrive there” Sara tells you

“We will arrive in Cannes in an hour, you will be needing 6 hours to get ready?”

“Haven’t you met Horner? She takes at least two hours to get ready for a day at the paddock, you think she will be getting ready in sooner than 5 hours for a party in Cannes?” Sara answers and you laugh. As you sail to Cannes, the four of you sit on the deck sipping champagne and gossiping about old acquaintances of yours until one hour later you arrive and you dock at the marina. Tristan and Marc go out for a walk and you and Sara stay on board to relax and get settled to your rooms. You leave Sara in her cabin and you relax outside on the deck. You snap a photo and post it on your stories and then start reading your book until you start getting ready, while listening to music. Tristan and Marc come an hour later and Tristan waves at you. You take your headphones off. “There’s someone that has a package for you outside”

“What package?”

“It’s an order from a fashion brand I think. They said you made the order from Monaco and sent it here”

“Oh yeah that” you say “Marc can you please get this for me?”

“Of course” Marc replies and leaves you behind with Tristan. “What are you reading?” he asks, “The Goldfinch” you tell him.

“Oh I heard it’s nice.”

“It is really good, I’ll give it to you when I finish it”

“Great! Um, by the way, have you seen Sara?”

“She’s in her cabin, probably planning today’s look. She doesn’t wake up looking as good as you see her.”

“Bet she looks even better when she wakes up” Tristan says and you burst out laughing.“You really like her don’t you?” you ask

“I do. Not as much as Marc likes you though.”

“Tristan, Marc and I have already discussed this.”

“You know he’s still trying though” he tells you but he stops talking as he sees Marc coming up to the yacht. “This is your package Miss.” says Marc and kneels in front of you showing you the box.“Thank you mr. Taylor” you tell him “I gotta go try it on and plan my look for today, see ya later losers.”. You walk away from Marc and Tristan and into your cabin where you untie the black bow on top of the box and open it to reveal a green silk dress and in the box, a black handwritten card, a handwriting you recognize."Yesterday night I was watching Succession, saw this dress on Shiv and thought it would look nice on you. Bis Bald.". You smile in disbelief and try the dress on and you manage to fish out your emerald Manolo shoes which perfectly fit the color of the dress. You decide to wear this to the party instead of your new bought Sandro dress and you undress since lunch is about to be served. After your meal you return to your room, and start getting ready. You take a shower, use a face mask and then fix your hair in a low bun chignon. You apply some light makeup and some jewelry for the party. When you get out of your cabin you see Marc and Tristan in their party suits. “Wow Horner” says Tristan but Marc just sits there staring at you. “We should try to snap some pictures until Sara is ready” he says again and pushes both you and Marc at the front of the yacht where he takes pictures of you both with your phone and your polaroid camera but his phone rings so Marc becomes your photographer for the moment. “You look stunning, the color is amazing.”

“Thanks” you say and you keep posing.

When the whole photoshoot is done you check your pictures and decide to post one of them on your story but first you want to check that everything is okay from Toto’s side

You

[Sent 2 photos]

Your wish is my command. The dress is perfect. Tristan and Marc were stunned

Wolff

I knew as soon as I saw it that it would be a perfect fit. Glad they liked it. Hope Marc keeps his hands to himself though

You

He will! About that, is it okay if I post the picture of me and him ?

Wolff

Everyone is going to talk about you two being a couple so why not feed the story to them? It’s okay by me after all ,at the end of the day only I know that you will be sleeping in my bed for the weekend

20 minutes later Tristan is already yelling at Sara to hurry up and when she does show up at the deck she sees you and stares at you. “Horner!????? What are you wearing?” she asks “You look stunning but bestie this wasn’t the plan was it?” You approach her and you whisper to her ear “It was a surprise gift I couldn’t say no to”. She scoffs. “And he won’t even bring me flowers” she says as she points at Tristan. A couple of photos later the four of you are off to the party. At the party there are a lot more photos, dancing, drinking, mingling and socializing. Everyone is enjoying the wonderful night including Sara, Marc and Tristan. You get lost in a discussion with some movie producer who happens to be at the party and at some point you see Marc approaching you along with a blonde woman, which you happen to know. “Horner!” Marc says as you greet the producer “Marc, I lost you an hour ago, where were you?”

“With this badass. I am not sure you’ve two met but, this is Francesca Scorcese”

“Taylor, I’ve met Horner before. You always forget nepo babies always know each other”

“Absolutely” you say “What have you been up to since I last saw you?” you ask. The three of you start discussing and later on partying. Late at night the party starts drifting off and your quartet returns happily to the yacht. You gather all the pictures from today, making sure there’s enough you and Marc on them so that people will start believing that you are in a relationship. You post them on your instagram captioning them as “What were your favorite nepo babies up to ?” and you shut your phone before falling asleep. The next morning you wake up and make sure everything is packed. Sara’s sister who happens to have a job in Nice and was taking care of Roscoe in the meantime comes and picks you up from Cannes and drives you to the airport where you finally meet Toto. “Morning!” you tell him and give him a little hug. You are already in incognito mode so you’re making sure no one is watching you. “Hello. How was your party night?”

“We had a lot of fun actually. You know how our events are? Not even close to that”

“At least on those events we get to be at the same place.”

“But as long as I can remember the only thing we’ve managed to do was fight” you tell him “Thanks for the dress again. Everyone was impressed”

“That is for you telling me that I don’t have any fashion sense.” he teases you “Mr Wolff, it is time to board.” the lady at the gate says. You take your stuff, carrying Roscoe in his cage as well and you board the jet. You get comfortable and get Roscoe out of his cage but you hold him on your lap, making sure that he won’t get close to Toto. The plane takes off and you drift off to sleep as the lack of sleep from your party night becomes apparent. After 3 hours you open your eyes and look out the window as you are flying mid Atlantic. It takes a minute before you realize that Roscoe isn’t on your lap anymore and you take a glance around you and you see the bulldog sleeping on Toto’s lap. You laugh at the sight, thinking how some days before Toto was afraid to death and how now he peacefully sleeps with him. You snap two or three photos and send one of them to Lewis.

You

[Photo]

Character growth! We are on our way to Miami. See you there

Lewis Hamilton

That is insane. Ah man, can’t wait to tease Toto for all of this. Thanks for the content, Horner. See you at the track!

Shortly after you drift back to sleep and you only wake up when you feel the ground below you shaking. You open your eyes and look out of the window again to see the airport of Miami. You don’t register that you have finally arrived until you hear “Miss Horner, Mister Wolff, Welcome to Miami”. Toto looks around and tells you “Let’s see what this race week brings us” and you nod, mentally preparing yourself for another week at the F1 circus.

#f1 #toto wolff #formula 1 #all's fair fic #toto wolff x reader

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folklore-girl · 9 months

Text

ek ladki bheegi bheegi bhaagi si — a short story

a/n: okok so i tried my best for you @androgynous-pavbhaji <3 since this is your secret santa gift? im so sorry for posting this so late, this was supposed to come out a long time ago.. but ig happy new year? hope you like this!

word count: 0.6k

warning(s): bad writing, cringe dialogues + a shitty asf story in general :( im so so sorry.

raindrops splattered on the sidewalk as i hurriedly made my way to the bus stop, my clothes drenched from the downpour. my hands held up my handbag to shield my head from the rain and to try and deflect some heavy raindrops, but all in vain. for the millionth time, i cursed my stupid self for not carrying an umbrella, even though we were deep in winter, and there was no way I could’ve predicted this. i still should have.

and, to top it all, i was horribly late to my bus.

when i reached the bus stop a thousand years later, my shoes were soaked and my head was in an overdrive. i noticed a guy—probably my age—waiting at the stop too and decided i should probably wipe the mess off my face.

so, i took out my napkin, just to drop it on the ground like an absolute idiot. and as i bent to pick it up, the guy on the right offered me his napkin, in spotless white.

i was scared. not of the guy, but of ruining his napkin by using it. he saw me hesitate and said, “arey, it’s fine. i have spare.”

“pakka?” i asked, uncertainly.

“yup,” he said and i thanked him, smiling.

he smiled back. and i thought, wow. i guess men aren’t all bad, then.

i took the napkin from him and dabbed my face with it gently, still scared to damage it. when i was giving it back, he said “it’s ok, you can keep it.”

“you sure?” i asked again.

“yes!!” he laughed, “it’s alright, you know. i don’t bite.”

“no, but, i’m not used to all this,” i gestured with my hands and his eyebrows rose in confusion. “kindess?” i finished lamely.

“well then, you will be soon,” he winked and i looked away because i was in a loss of words.

meeting a decent man made me feel like i was in some other dimension, some dream where kind strangers were real and not a thing to read in tumblr posts and fawn over.

by now, my heartbeat had slowed down and my breaths were much less frantic, so we talked about our buses.

“oh, me too,” he smiled, “we’re both going to mumbai.”

“that’s nice,” i smiled as the bus approached the stop, “i bet the ride is gonna be fun.”

he smiled, “hopefully.”

we hauled up our luggage and sat in the bus, me in the window seat with him by my side.

we talked for almost the entire ride there, exchanging our names and talking shit about distant relatives (my lord, we had the same type of humour). and when we grew bored of talking, we both decided to do something else. he plugged in his earphones and i found out that i couldn’t find mine anywhere.

i looked out of the window and i could tell it was going to be a long road.

he noticed and offered to share his wired ones. feeling utterly helpless, i gave in.

later, we discovered that our music tastes were very similar and i soon found myself scooting closer to him as we listened to his playlist together.

by the time shuffle lead us to ‘i guess i’m in love’, i knew the feeling burning up in my chest, threatening to spill over. it was beautiful and warm, like sunlight filtering in through the curtains. like the first day of spring, my heart was blooming and after a long time, i felt the butterflies.

but it couldn’t be, could it?

i woke up to the sound of mumma calling my name. i’d fallen asleep with my head in my arms, crossed on the windowsill while rain poured outside and my chai grew colder with each passing minute. right next to it, my phone had just finished playing the song “ek ladki bheegi bhagi si” on my wired earphones and suddenly the surreal scenario in my head made sense.

i guess it was a dream, after all.

xoxo

#. ༉‧₊˚ — her writings !#desiblr secret santa 2023 #dss2k23 #desiblr #desi aesthetic #desi tumblr #desi tag #writers on tumblr #female writers #writeblr #writing #moodboard #bollywood

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kaeemin · 2 years

Text

OOPS! WRONG NAME!

➠ pairing: non-idol! bff!na jaemin x reader

➠ genre: fluff | friends-to-lovers | angst ??

➠ wc: 2.946 words (that was unexpected)

when na jaemin said the wrong name at his own wedding.

READ PART ONE HERE!

EVERYONE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY IN A WEDDING.

“I am happy for him.”

“Liar.”

“But I really am.”

“Nice try.”

You glared at Jeno, crossing your arms. “You can’t tell me what to feel. I’m happy. End of story.”

“Yeah, and I’m the long lost prince of Narnia.” Jeno rolled his eyes, fiddling with his tie. “Y/n, you can’t lie to me—no, in fact, you can’t lie at all. You’re the worst liar I know, other than Mark hyung.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Hey, it’s not wrong to not be happy.” His tone suddenly softened, kneeling down in front of you. Jeno’s eyes were full of pity and you hated it. You hated it because you know he’s right: you are not happy.

“It is wrong, though.” You stubbornly point out. “Jaemin’s a married man in less than 24 hours. I’m his best friend and I should be happy for him.”

“But you’re in love with him.”

You are. Deeply. Utterly. So much.

“I am,” you gulp, looking away from his dark orbs. It hurts to admit it but what else will you hide from him? Jeno already knew your secret anyway ever since you rejected him back at high school.

Jeno squeezed your hand, sighing. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re not Jaemin.”

He smiled, even chuckling a bit. You let out a small laugh too before shaking your head, squeezing his hand back. “Yeah, I’m not happy. But I want to be. Jeno, Jaemin has done so much for me, and being in his wedding means a lot. He does make me happy in general. Maybe we were really destined to be just friends.”

“Friends don’t look at each other that way, though.” Jeno softly said, tucking the hair covering your face behind your ear. Once he was satisfied fixing your hair, he stood back up and attended once again to his still not fixed tie.

“Drop it Jeno, I’m serious.” You bit your lip, checking the time. “Jaemin’s getting married, you have to accept that. I have to accept that.”

“I’m getting married.”

“You’re getting married.”

“I can’t believe I’m getting married!”

“You can’t believe you're not getting married to Y/n?”

“Y—what? No!” Jaemin turned his head at Chenle so fast that he felt blood rushing, giving him a slight headache that added to his stress. “I love Bea!”

“I never said you didn’t.” Chenle snickered, opening up the bottle of champagne. Jaemin huffed, ruffling his already messy hair. “Well, I do, okay? I love Bea. That’s why I proposed. That’s why I’m going to be standing at the altar.”

“You were just about to say yes though.”

“Then you’re hearing things. I’ll pay for your doctor after the marriage.”

Chenle scoffed this time, taking a sip of his glass of champagne before passing the whole bottle to the groom. “I have nothing against you or Bea, if you love her, then fine. But if you love her just because of Jeno and Y/n—“

“Yeah, sure. I’m in love with my fiancé because my two best friends obviously have something going on.” Jaemin sarcastically says, giving the bottle a look before taking a huge gulp. He needed it.

“You know Y/n rejected him, right?”

“I know, Le. I was literally the one who comforted Jeno five years ago.”

Chenle felt his chest tighten, staring at his friend for a long time before releasing a deep sigh. “You have to stop caring for others too much. Worry about yourself too, you idiot.”

“I didn’t push myself away because I know Jeno likes Y/n,” Jaemin slurred, cheeks tinted red from the alcohol he just chugged. He pinched the bridge of his nose, resting his elbow on his thigh. “I love Bea. I’m continuing the wedding.”

How many times has Na Jaemin done something stupid?

Good question. Even he couldn’t count.

On his wedding day, he was feeling a mixture of emotions. He really couldn’t pinpoint which is which, and that’s probably thanks to the alcohol he had consumed before the bride’s father came over to give him a goodluck.

Jaemin knows he’s supposed to be happy, like any damn man should be on their wedding day.

But he feels the worst.

Was he really having second thoughts? Oh, Jaemin felt like a jerk. How could he face his fiancé properly when there’s another woman in his mind? He felt horrible. Why were you even on his mind?

Okay, maybe he did lie.

Five years ago, when he ran through the storm to reach you and confess his undying love, when he missed the chance all because of a phone call, Jaemin had thought shoving all his feelings inside and moving on was the best he could do.

After all, he loved you, and Jeno was his friend. How could he ever do that to a friend?

“You good?” Chenle’s voice cut his thoughts off.

“Yeah.” Jaemin replied in a whisper, eyes scanning the room nervously.

“You better be. The wedding’s—let me rephrase that—your wedding’s about to start.”

Jaemin gave a tight smile, trying his best to ignore the demon by his shoulder, tempting him to leave the altar and look for you.

“Groom, ready?”

This is it.

He’s going to be a fucking-married-man.

“Yeah.”

The wedding planner nodded her head then rushed outside the church door to probably ready the flower girls, bell boys, bridesmaids, and escorts.

“There.” Chenle smiled, nodding in a direction. Jaemin followed his gaze and his stomach dropped in regret the next second.

There you are, sitting prettily in a light pink off-shoulder dress, with your hair perfectly loose and slightly curled. You weren’t wearing much make-up, he could tell, yet you still managed to outshine everyone in the room.

Jaemin’s heart skipped a beat.

You smiled widely and gave him two thumbs-up, mouthing “you got this”. And almost instantly, Jaemin felt his nerves calm down. He smiled back just as wide, nodding.

You always knew how to calm him down after all.

Music started playing, and one by one, the bridesmaids and escorts started walking down the aisle. Flower girls soon followed and then, the bride.

“Here comes the bride.”

Everyone stood up, eager and excitedly. You, however, tried your best to show you were just as enthusiastic as the others. You had a brief eye contact with Jeno on the other side of the room and he scrunched his nose up, as if to tell you everything’s going to be alright.

But it isn’t, really.

You don’t think you can handle it, even if you try. You can’t watch the man you love share his vows with another woman.

As Bea walks in slowly, her eyes staring lovingly at her groom, Jaemin starts to feel his heart palpitate again. Not because of the wedding, not because of the bride walking to him, but because he was afraid.

He was fully afraid of why he didn’t feel a thing. Don’t get him wrong, Bea looked beautiful in a white dress, but you would look more stunning. Jaemin’s scared his worst fear might be happening: he hasn’t moved on and he’s still in love with you.

“Um, Jaem?”

Jaemin stopped daydreaming and cluelessly stared back at Bea. She chuckled nervously, nudging her hand out again until he finally got the hint and shakingly took it, guiding her in front.

It felt so wrong to him, and feeling that is wrong. Especially in this situation.

“Before we start, regrets must end here right now. Is there anyone who objects to wed Na Jaemin and Ki Bea?”

You wanted to raise your hand. He wanted you to raise your hand.

“Alright then, we shall proceed.”

You wanted to leave. He wanted to leave with you.

When the vows were exchanged, Bea had gotten emotional, declaring her love while Jaemin felt like the biggest jerk alive. He almost froze when the mic was passed to him, but managed to stutter out words, telling the story of how they met and how he proposed.

Jaemin couldn’t really hear a thing. In fact, he couldn’t even stare directly in her eyes. He just felt too guilty. Maybe some of the audience noticed his odd behavior, because he was sure Chenle had caught on. The little devil always did, anyways.

“Will you, Ki Bea, take Na Jaemin as your lawfully wedded husband? Be with him through thick and thin, through sickness and in health?”

“I, Ki Bea, take thee Na Jaemin as my lawfully wedded husband. Be with him through thick and thin, through sickness and in health.”

“Will you, Na Jaemin, take Ki Bea as your lawfully wedded wife. Be with her through thick and thin, through sickness and in health?”

Jaemin took a deep breath.

He could do this. He can do this. He will do this.

“I, Na Jaemin, take thee L/N Y/N—“

Gasps erupted from the room.

You snap your head up, eyes widened. Did you hear it right? Did he just say your name?

Jaemin grew red from embarrassment, even taken back himself. What did he just fucking do?

“U-Um..”

“It’s okay, Jaem. I understand it’s a mistake. Just—just repeat it.” Bea stammered, her hold on his hand loosening. Jaemin slowly nodded, swallowing the huge lump on his throat. He awkwardly shifted his weight on his left feet, taking another deep breath.

“I, Na Jaemin, take three L/N Y/N—..”

Half of the people were already standing up on their seats. Everyone was whispering to themselves. By now, you were sure that you heard your name.

You received stares from left to right, but what mattered to you right now was the stare Jaemin gave you.

“I—you—but—ugh!” Bea tantrumed, throwing her bouquet of flowers on the ground. She pushed Jaemin’s chest roughly, nose and eyes red from tears. “I knew you were still in love with that bitch! I never liked her!”

“B-Bea, wait, I can explain.” Jaemin realized he wasn’t just the king of all jerks right now, but he was also the stupidest man standing on earth.

“Explain what? You can’t explain! Listen, Jaemin, you have to pick. Me or her?” Bea demanded, stomping her foot. Jaemin winced visibly, struggling to choose. He felt so, so, guilty that even his eyes started to sting.

“I..”

A hand on his shoulder stopped him from speaking. It was Jeno.

“What’s happening here?”

“What’s happening here!? Your friend cheated on me! That’s what’s happening. That bitch never stayed on her line. You’re mine, Na Jaemin. Mine!”

“Funny.” Jeno narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms against his chest. He smugly let out a smirk. Sensing trouble, both families—from Jaemin’s and Bea’s side—were also now in front.

“I demand an explanation, Na. I trusted you with my daughter.” Bea’s father sternly said while her mother comforted her. Jaemin opened his mouth to speak, but no words left his mouth. What else would he explain? That he was still in love with you?

“I can give you an explanation, sir.”

“You’re not the one I’m asking, boy—“

“But isn’t your daughter only using my best friend here, for your business?” Jeno glared at the older man. Jaemin looked at him confused.

“Don’t you dare try to accuse me and my family like that.”

“The Na’s are successful business owners. And your own is almost close to bankruptcy. I have proof of you trying to steal money, Mr. Ki. Don’t make the mistake of humiliating yourself in front of everyone right now.”

“What is he saying?” The mother asked, with her brows furrowed and eyes teary. “Nothing! The boy’s crazy!” The father suddenly showed fear, urging his family to leave. “Let’s go. We have no other business here.”

“But daddy!”

“Bea. Let’s go.”

Jaemin was left stunned when his ex-fiancé was dragged by her father outside the church. He coughed a little, turning to Jeno. “What the fuck was that?”

“I think the words you were looking for were ‘thank you for saving my ass, where’s y/n?’.”

“Jeno.”

“I had my suspicions, okay? Meeting Bea that day on the club was not a coincidence. And she’s really bad at acting. I had to do a quick background check to see if she’s worth it for you.”

“Jeno..”

“You’re my best friend, Jaem. All I wanted for you was to be happy. I’ll handle the guests and your family.”

Jaemin couldn’t help but shed a tear when he pulled Jeno in a tight hug, thanking him all over again and again. God, what did he do to deserve this?

“Stop thanking me, fatass. Run after her. Chenle knew Y/n needed to get out of here when everyone was whispering about her, so he led her outside to the garden.”

“Thank you!”

“Shut up!”

Jaemin laughed, wiping his tears with his thumb before running out the door, loosening his tie that was choking him for the past hour.

He’s been in love with you for so long, that even Chenle couldn’t even remember how he fell for you. No one that knew remembered, really. Only Jaemin remembered every detail very clearly.

It was by summer, when you stood up for him from a couple of bullies. You always shared your lunchbox with him, you even helped him repair his broken toy care, for goodness’s sake. And yes, it had been more than a decade, and yes, he was down bad.

So bad.

It was always you.

His love never faded, in fact, it grew stronger as he woke up and lived everyday, longing for you.

Jaemin caught a glimpse of your light pink dress by the garden’s balcony. He panted, swallowing. Five years ago, he was in the same situation, when he was too afraid to admit what he really wanted to say.

But thanks to the adrenaline from the wedding and the run he just had, his confidence was boosted.

“That was one hell of a wedding.” You broke the silence, still not facing him. Your eyes were still stuck on the flowers, but you did hear footsteps and some heavy breathing.

“Bad.” Jaemin cringed, walking closer to you and leaning beside you, staring at the flowers too.

“Oh, the worse.”

He smiled. “I’m so happy it turned out that way.”

Your throat feels dry when you turn to face him. “Why?” You croaked out after exhaling, knuckles white from how tight you were gripping the railings of the balcony.

“Saying your name up there felt right.” He was still smiling.

“Why did it feel right?”

“Because.”

“Because what?”

“Because I always dreamt of you walking down the aisle in a white dress.” And smiling.

You hit his shoulder, groaning at his answer. It wasn’t the one you wanted to hear, and he knew that.

“Na Jaemin!”

Jaemin chuckled, swatting your hand away. He scrunched his nose up, which made him identical to a bunny. “You know it’s rude hitting people.”

“Since when?” You ignored him.

“The day we met.”

“That long?” You groaned again, now covering your red face. It was the effect of Na Jaemin on you that you used to hate and grew to love.

“Yeah, that long.” He nodded, confirming.

“Why didn’t you tell me any sooner? Or did you plan waiting this long, until you’re in your own fucking wedding to tell me?”

“Touchè.” Jaemin clicked on his tongue. “I don’t know. I was a kid, I was dumb. I did try sometimes but everything failed.”

“So five years ago, when you ran through the rain and knocked on my door on a school night, did you..?”

“Yeah.”

“..did you want to tell me you were engaged?”

“Alright, that’s it.” Jaemin gives you a glare when you laugh at your own jokes. “I can’t help it! I find an opportunity and I use it. Starting from now, I’m using this day against you.”

“I’ll do the talking now.” He sighed, shaking his head when you laughed louder.

“No!”

“Y/n.”

“Imagine saying the wrong name at a wedding, that’s so fucking embarrassing I—“

“—I’m in love with you.” Jaemin cuts you off.

You stop, licking your lips and looking away. It was quiet for a few seconds.

“I know.”

“You did!?—“

“No, it’s not that,” you calmed him down, letting out a weak smile. “I didn’t know. But I did have a clue when you said my name while dedicating your wedding vows.”

“Ah.”

“Mhm.”

Jaemin cleared his throat, his shoulders slumping. The adrenaline was fully gone by now and you still weren’t responding back to his confession. His chest tightened and his eyes stung. “I..I should go.“

“I’m in love with you too.”

“Oh.”

“Jaemin,” you wince and place your hands on his chest when he leaned in. “We should probably take it slow, right? I mean, you just got out of a relationship not even an hour ago.”

“Right. That makes sense.” He frowned, keeping his hands on your waist. Jaemin caressed your skin lovingly, staring deeply in your eyes. He respects you so much that if you tell him to wait fifty years of no kissing, he’d do it without hesitating.

Waiting has always been worth it if it’s you.

One look in his eyes, you craved the temptation and grabbed his collar, tip toeing to reach his lips. Jaemin could swear he heard you say “fuck it” and he couldn’t care less. He closed his eyes, squeezing your hips before cradling your cheek to make the kiss deeper.

Fuck it.

He’s in love with you, you’re in love with him.

Jaemin walked barefooted in hell for this and he would do it all again in a heartbeat.

advice: don’t marry when ur not sure. trust me. anyways, feedback? <;3

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mischiefmaker615 · 1 month

Text

Ghost (Loki Love Story) Ch. 16

Upon entering the main entertainment room, you had already been able to hear how many guests had arrived. A few, was an understatement. There were people occupying every area, fives at the most where you had to turn sideways to scoot past a few people, Loki close on your heels while you felt the scowl on his face resonating behind you.

Most people had a glass of something, balance was practically nonexistent and laugher was everywhere. It was a party all right, and it all just reminded you of how much you preferred being antisocial as people stumbled in your path, some bumping into you and others laughing loudly in their drunken stupor.

Feeling two protective hands on your shoulders, Loki gently guided you from behind out of the crowd and somewhere where you both could stand with some breathing room.

‘’most of these people I doubt he even knows.’’ You sigh with dry amusement, turning to face Loki as he scans around like he was your body guard.

‘’many I would hope not to see again.’’ He mumbled as Tony pulled up with a full glass in his hand- one you doubted was his first- and a wide grin on his face.

‘’welcome to the party! We were just going to get started on a few games- care to play 7 minutes?” he grinned, slinging an arm around Loki’s shoulders to either help his balance or to make an attempt to become buddies.

‘’however you play this.. 7 minutes game will probably sway my interest further on being here.’’ Loki replied dryly and shrugged him off of him.

‘’you get to fuck…’’ Tony failed at whispering with an elbow nudge and a grin but you piped up before Loki’s face could consider it.

‘’no wanted couple is guaranteed at you know it Stark. Besides, we’re stuck together so how the hell will different partners work.’’ You didn’t necessarily want to know the answer but Tony merely grinned with a raised brow.

‘’threesome?”

‘’pass. I don’t share.’’ Loki warned with narrowed eyes.

‘’they could always watch inst-‘’

Stark was suddenly cut off when a loud pop could be heard towards the bar area and his attention perked on high alert. ‘’of that better not be the good shit-‘’ Tony exclaimed before he rushed off to save his special stash.

You rolled your eyes with a sigh and hugged yourself, suddenly having a small wave of awkwardness before you nudged Loki gently. ‘’come on.’’

‘’where are we going?” he grinned, his voice and eyes full of seduction before he noticed your unamused look.

‘’to get a drink. It helps tolerate being around Tony.’’ You told him while he followed you towards the bar, Stark being seen rushing back to the other side of the room to resume whatever game he had suckered people- women into playing with him.

‘’as much as I’d love to drink and forget the iron idiot, Midgardian alcohol isn’t quite strong enough to do anything.’’

‘’well,’’ you smiled and fluffed your wings as if to remind him you weren’t human. ‘’I have found a few things in my time here where it could at least come close’’ you shrugged and he sat at the bar while you slipped behind it, the distance not being to far away where you could move about without a teleporting issue.

‘’humans aren’t suppose to indulge in certain drinks in a particular order, something about color or whatever’’ you waved a hand as you bent down to grab a few bottles under the counter, Loki leaning forward as he shamelessly took in the view down your shirt before his eyes moved away when you came back up with three bottles. ‘’we none humans, will do just that’’ you grinned and began pouring the liquids together into two glasses.

‘’my my aren’t we full of surprises.’’ Loki smiled as he leaned on his forearms against the bar counter while you finished pouring and slid him a glass into his open hand.

‘’you have to find ways to amuse yourself on this planet. Midgardians like booze probably just as much as you Asgardians.’’ You laugh before you clinked your glass against his before taking a generous sip.

‘’perhaps, though Asgardian festivities aren’t nearly as.. unorderly, strange and separated.’’ Loki noted and took a small inhale of his drink first, a brow raised in question but not disgust before he raised it to his lips and took a sip.

You didn’t realize your eyes staring in anticipation while you leaned forward on the counter to see his reaction. Upon seeing his smirk and where his eyes were when he lowered his glass, your arms crossed at your chest with a death look.

‘’asshole.’’

‘’that, I might. But one could embrace their title if I received that worth it view.’’ Loki smirked and his eyes softened to indicate he was done teasing before gesturing to his glass. ‘’this is quite good love, perhaps there’s hope for Midgardian contents after all’’ he chuckled and you came around the bar to sit next to him.

‘’I miss the real parties. Everyone knew each other, was merry and welcomed all- let alone the food being far better.’’ You reminisced and Loki smiled down at his drink as he thought of Asgard’s festivities as well. ‘’let alone fire places, stronger booze, better music and smashing the cups traditionally.’’

Loki raised a brow and looked at you. ‘’they do not smash their glasses?”

With a grin, you downed your glass quickly and threw it to the floor beside you. People yelped with the sudden noise, Tony’s voice being heard in the distance with “the fuck-“ over the music and judgmental faces were silently asking if you were going to move to clean that up. The both of you turned back around to the bar with a laugh, Loki shaking his head with a sigh.

‘’stiff as a board, these Midgardians. They missed an opportunity to have things better.’’

Your eyes moved over to him, your elbows almost touching each other’s as he brought his glass up and downed it, setting it down and aside on the counter. his expression was noticeably troubled, one he quickly masked upon your silence and he stood.

‘’what ails you love?” he asked, playing it off as he moved himself behind the bar and bent down to look over the bottles, avoiding eye contact.

‘’why do you want to rule so badly?” you asked quietly, but he heard you.

Glancing up at you, he sighed and looked back down to rummage through the bottle choices. ‘’I was born to be.’’

‘’..you were raised to be. But you don’t always have to do things just because people expect you too. You could do whatever you want, you have freedom and no expectations now, you don’t have to be des-‘’

‘’destiny’s puppet, I know Y/N.’’ Loki sighed and pulled up two bottles that caught his eye, setting them on the counter as he looked at you with expressionless eyes. ‘’I get you don’t wish to follow what has been written by gods know who- but sometimes happiness remains in your expectations and there’s nothing wrong with that.’’

You raised a brow at him. ‘’what do you mean?”

Loki looked at you a moment, his eyes studying yours as if he were waiting for you to figure it out first before he spoke, pulling both your glasses over to him. ‘’you are raised and told that some day you will do this, or do that. True, as one gets older they have the choice to do something else.. but some of us are fine remaining in those expectations of others.’’ He said and stilled a moment. ‘’..i was raised to rule, and want to rule.’’ His eyes then moved to yours carefully, his intense gaze practically ruffling your features as you held your breath. ‘’you were told I was your soul mate.. do you want to stay with me?” he asked slowly, his voice sounding quieter yet somehow you could hear it as if he was the only one in the room.

In that moment, your heart fluttered, stomach seemed to churn a little as shyness seemed to creep over you again. As your lips parted to speak, Loki’s eyes holding hopeful as he held his breath, Steve set down an empty glass onto the counter with a mild clink, snapping both of you out of it as you looked away awkwardly.

‘’it would be nice if Tony explained how the games worked rather than locking randoms into a closet.’’ Steve sighed with amusement as you noticed light, smeared lipstick on his cheek.

‘’ask better questions.’’ Loki said dryly, his grip on the bottles tightening ever so slightly at his presence.

‘’well he doesn’t approach people much if they are currently occupied,’’ Steve started and turned to you, completely trying to ignore Loki’s presence. ‘’which is why I’ve come to ask you to dance.’’ He smiled, holding out an open hand.

‘’I’m sorry Rogers but unless you plan on making a circle with all of our joined hands, we’re stuck together.’’ Loki’s tongue dripped in sarcasm as Steve shot him a look.

‘’you have at least a few steps distance before the teleportation happens, I’m content just doing it here too.’’ Steve said with a mask of optimism as he turned towards you with your reddened cheeks.

‘’I’m not to good at it..’’ you said sheepishly and Steve laughed.

‘’that’s probably because you don’t remember, you are quite the dance Y/N when you are under the influence’’ he teased and you laughed at the memory.

‘’everyone thinks they can dance until they see the footage the next day’’ you laughed, Loki raising a brow as the both of you bounded apparently over a memory that had happened between you too.

‘’you’ll do fine, it’s even a mildly slow song’’ Steve encouraged and you bite your bottom lip as you debated, feeling Loki’s eyes boring into yours.

You and Steve were just friends, it’s not like it was a groping and grinding song- not that you would.. but the two of you enjoyed being around each other when it came to surviving Tony’s surprise parties. Loki needed also to lighten up with his jealousy faze.. you two weren’t dating. You felt guilty though, how Loki looked but you still found your hand in Steve’s, letting him help you down from the barstool before you gave Loki a sheepish look. ‘’won’t be long.. or far..’’ you promised him before you let Steve pull you maybe two steps away from the bar casually.

Loki’s teeth gritted together, seeing Steve take your hand and waist like if it were a ballroom dance and he flashed a smug look at him over your shoulder. ‘’that bastard..’’ Loki hissed, knowing fully well Roger’s was up to trying to steal you away, and right in front of him to where he’d have no choice but to watch.

The cap of the bottle popped off and Loki took a long swing right from the bottle. They were just dancing.. a single act between friends.. why was she even friends with him? there is nothing special about that vanilla soldier, and there was nothing he could do to stop the bond. Soulmates could never be broken.. no matter what.. and yet jealousy could drive a person away.. Loki sighed and took another long sip of the bottle. He would just have to not act jealous, not care as to not push you away. The alcohol did help distract him from the bitterness he felt when he watched you and Steve laughing, spinning and childishly trying to figure out how to dance.

‘Norns this is strong..’ Loki thought as he shook his head to clear away the slight dizziness before he took another gulp.

‘’I’m surprised you took interest in that one, I hear it can fuck you up.’’ Natasha commented, making Loki look to his side as she leaned herself against the counter with her own glass she was nursing.

‘’Midgardian alcohol doesn’t do much on me.’’ Loki said dryly, his voice indicating that he wanted her to go away as she watched him in her burgundy tight dress almost similar to Y/N’s.

‘’with the amount I just watched you drink, It should. Thor brought it back from New Asgard long ago, say’s they found a way to almost replicate what you gods used to drink.’’

‘’what do you care?” Loki mumbled, looking away from her to glare daggers at the back of Steve Rogers. He hoped she’d get the hint to leave so he could concentrate on what to do in his new growing state. His vision began to dance and his head swam while he set down the bottle and turned it to read. The title wasn’t recognizable, but now that he thought about it, the flavor had a mildly similar taste to that of Asgard’s booze.

‘’just looking out, we share a tower after all and don’t necessarily prefer barf in it when we’re trying to deal with Tony’s drunk ass most of the time already making a mess.’’ Nat shrugged with a careful warning before she sauntered off.

Loki swayed ever so slightly as he pulled his eyes back ahead to where Y/N was. You danced so gracefully, laughing and smiling while you released the day’s stress to take in the party vibe. Despite who you were dancing with, Loki took you in awe as he couldn’t help but grin. His grin grew more as he stood himself up, already feeling the affects as his hand gripped the bar’s edge before his mind finally set off somewhere.

‘gods.. this isn’t good..’

Tag List: @violethaze @fire-in-her-veinz

#loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki x reader smut #loki god of mischief #loki smut #loki fluff #loki #loki fanfic #loki x reader #lokifluff

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obae-me · 1 year

Note

Hi, I’m so glad you’re back. Can you do Mammon and MC going on vacation in the human world with MC’s family?

Thank you

❤️❤️❤️

Of course I can! What a cute idea! Since I know there’s so many different family situations out there, I’m going to do my best to keep the family details as vague and general as possible! Thank you for the request! Also I wasn't sure if this was meant to be in a more friendly or romantic aspect, but it was hard for me to deny a couple's vacation, so I hope it's okay being Mammon x MC!

“Once more, from the top!”

Mammon groaned, flopping back onto their bed in their room. “Come oooon,” he whined. “Don’t make me go through all that again.” He attempted to beg, giving them some version of puppy eyes, his lips pleading with the human to give him a break.

They, unfortunately for him, would not stand down, no matter how adorable he may seem. “Mammon, you’re going to meet my family. My human family. In the human world. And I hate to break it to you, but neither you nor your brothers are very good at blending in. At all.” Which is why MC had spent way too long creating a plausible backstory, and why they were pressing Mammon so hard to remember it.

It had been about a month ago when MC’s family first reached out, sending them a letter about what they were missing at home. How did a human letter reach the Devildom in the first place? Probably thanks to Diavolo. The other humans were, obviously, still completely in the dark about where MC truly was, figuring they were simply studying abroad and not in what most humans would call hell. And in the contents of that letter was a suggestion of a vacation. A fully paid and fully planned vacation. After all, school would be out for a short break, and they wanted a chance to see MC again...and about this supposed ‘boy’ that MC had mentioned before.

“Why not just tell them about me? They’re your family after all, right?” He wondered, sitting back up on the bed with his legs crossed under him, his arms tucked near his knees.

They folded their arms, tilting their head at him. “Please don’t tell me you’re seriously asking that.” Well, now he looked a little wounded. They sighed, sitting next to him, putting their hand on his head. “Maybe in the future we can, but this is their first time meeting you. Aside from the hundred other problems revealing yourself would cause, trying to bring you and your realm’s entire existence up over dinner would either get me sent to a hospital or give them all mental breakdowns over the revelation that essentially everything they’ve ever known is a lie.”

His face suggested that he didn’t retain any of that, so focused on grinning like an idiot over MC’s touch, but then he finally looked at them curiously. “You didn’t have a mental breakdown.”

Sweet naïve boy. They did. They really did. But that wasn’t their main focus right now. “The point I’m trying to get across is that it's really important to me that we keep the truth a secret right now so we all can have a good time, okay? So please, can we go over the story together one more time so I don’t feel so nauseous?”

He finally sighed, his eyes softening towards them. “I didn’t realize it was that important to ya. Okay, just watch and see, I’ll be the best human ever!”

---

When they had heard the words ‘all-expenses-paid-vacation’, they expected, sure, maybe the hotel rooms and meal costs, but no...it was all paid for. Every single cent. Whatever their family didn’t cover, Diavolo did. Even this fancy rental car, which Mammon was more than happy to immediately jump into as soon as Barbatos had dropped them both off. “Yeah, baby!” He had shouted, leaping into the driver’s seat of the convertible.

MC couldn’t help but be a little hesitant. “Do you even know how to drive up here?”

“Yeah I do!” He beamed for a moment before his face fell a little bit, looking a bit annoyed. “Had to work hard for it too. Your laws up here are seriously ridiculous.” Then the moment of seriousness had passed. He leaned over to the other side of the car, grabbing the passenger side handle and pushing the door open. “Get in!”

With a playful roll of their eyes, MC loaded both theirs and Mammon’s luggage inside the vehicle before seating themselves in the car. It was...kind of nice, being in the human realm, seeing Mammon behind the wheel of a human car, a silly Hawaiian shirt on like one of those old dads that go on vacation. He adjusted his sunglasses, fiddling with the radio till some song that appealed to his taste pumped out the speakers. After making sure he was buckled up properly, they both set out on the road, the sun beaming down on them, the smell of the ocean in the air.

“Pop-quiz time!” MC announced, letting their hand hover off to the side, the air gusting through their open fingers.

Mammon groaned, keeping his eyes trained on the road no matter how much he wanted to turn to give them a glare of annoyance. “No quizzing on vacations!”

“Question one!” As they ignored him, his face scrunched up into a little pout. “Who are you, handsome stranger?”

He scoffed a bit, but they caught the redness that came to his cheeks. “Name’s Mason.”

MC clapped their hands together in a bit of glee. “Good!” At the praise, the color in his cheeks deepened. “What’re you going to school for?”

“Finance and fashion design.”

They leaned back in their seat, feeling a bit calmer knowing that he was actually retaining all this information. This whole human bit might work out after all. “And how did we meet?”

He sighed heavily. “It sounds so plain and simple! Not super special at all!” As they both slowed down to stop at a red light, he finally looked at them, a sulky look in his eyes. "Why couldn't we go with my idea?"

“Because," MC continued, their eyes softening at him. The idea had been really cute. He suggested that the story be that MC was crossing the street, when a car ran right through a red, trying to escape the blaring sirens of the cops chasing them! They were criminals, and now they were about to run into someone! He had seen this and courageously ran through the street to grab them, pulling them aside to safety. Somehow, at the end of his story, he had saved MC and then they both managed to stop the criminals, both of them getting reward money for doing so, and with that money, Mammon would suavely ask MC out for dinner. Obviously he had fashioned the story off some movie they had watched earlier. "The more cliché it is, the less my family will question it. Now, Mason, how did we meet?”

As traffic moved forward, he turned his head away from them, his answer monotone. “We share the same math general class together, but didn’t start talking to each other till we got grouped up for a project.”

“And after I asked you to help study with me for tests, we found we clicked! Perfectly human!” They reached over to rub his shoulder, lowering their hand to open the GPS on your phone. “We’re meeting my family at the airport. From there, we’ll check in at the hotel and go out to lunch.” They waited for him to make some sort of reply, but when he never did they raised their head. He suddenly looked too serious, mouth in a tight line, hardly looking at the scenery they both were passing. “Mammon?” He was caught up in his own head it seemed. MC turned down the music on the radio and placed their hand on his arm.

He blinked, removing one of his hands from the wheel to grab their hand. “I don’t wanna mess this up. I know how important it is to ya.”

They gave his hand a squeeze and then released it to let him place it back on the steering wheel. “You won’t. We wont. We’ll just keep to the story and enjoy our time up here, okay? Swimming, sand, surfing, sunning, just focus on that, okay? Oh, and don’t forget we need to bring all your brothers back a souvenir.”

He lightened a little bit at that, the little golden highlights in his hair shimmering under the human sun.

---

"MC!" Their name was called, picked up above the other busy voices in the airport. MC turned and grinned, holding their arms out for the inevitable embrace. Their family member wrapped their arms around them and grinned, pulling back shortly. "It's been so long! You look good. You've been okay so far from home?"

"I've never been better!" MC expressed, stating what mostly was the truth. Sure there had been bumps and bruises and...worse than that, but the time they had spent in the Devildom was an enjoyable one overall.

"And this is..." Someone else from MC's family spoke up, looking towards Mammon who was actually pacing a little bit behind MC, trying not to stand out too much.

It took Mammon a moment to collect himself, coming to stand by MC and hold his hand out. "I'm Mam--Mason," he shared, taking the hand of one of the humans and giving it a firm shake.

"It's so nice to finally meet you!" The person that had given MC the hug came over and led them away, everyone grabbing luggage to take outside. "He seems sweet. You'll have to tell me all about him!"

Mammon was suddenly left alone with the remaining members, obviously trying not to panic, laughing nervously at jokes as he kept up his human disguise. He helped take some of the family's luggage as he quickly followed behind MC. "So!" He exclaimed, changing the subject as he stood by MC's side. "Where we heading for lunch?"

One of the humans pulled up an image on their phone. "I found what looks to be a popular local restaurant not too far from here, and it's beachside too! A little pricy, but who could pass up eating and then going right out to swim? See?"

"That looks perfect? See, Mam-- babe?" They felt themselves almost sweating. They tried so hard to get Mammon to remember his 'new name' and yet they almost just let it slip themselves. Their quick thinking seemed to work though, although Mammon almost seemed like he was unable to breathe. MC encouraged Mammon to look at the photo which seemed to snap him out of it. Now he just seemed pumped.

"I'm going to eat so much sushi," he beamed.

"That's the spirit!" One of MC's family members announced. MC grinned. They were all getting along just fine.

MC jogged ahead a bit, looking back at the group as they nodded. "Let's all head back to the hotel so we can put away our stuff and grab our swimsuits! We've got plenty of sunlight left, people! Let's make the most of it!"

---

Lunch went really well. Everyone ordered too much expensive food and yet somehow managed to pack it all away. MC's family kept asking questions, and suddenly Mammon seemed more than happy to answer. It was mostly a little session to gush about how much he knew and liked about MC, and it was hard to tell if he was trying to get on their family's good side or if he really just enjoyed talking about them that much. Either way, it was sweet, even if it was clear that some members of MC's family found some things hard to believe. No demonic secrets were spilled at least.

But what they were all looking forward to was the beach. Everyone was dressed and ready. MC's family brought plenty of towels and toys to keep all of them entertained. They set up their spot away from the others, MC sitting in the shade of a large beach umbrella while they watched some others drag Mammon away for a little frisbee competition. They'd let him go and have a little bit of fun before dragging him away for them to be on their own for a little bit. For now though, they'd watch him mingle with the humans, a surprising smile on his face. For someone who seemed to not be able to stand humans when they first visited the Devildom, he seemed to be having a lot of fun with them.

Someone sat next to MC, opting out of the frisbee game to sit under the shade, opening a cooler to pull out a chilled can. They looked over at the others and then back at MC. "He seems like a good one."

"Hm?" MC looked back over at their family member, snapping out of their thoughts as the sound of the opened can cracked.

"Mason." They gestured towards Mammon, nodding a bit. "I was a little worried--"

"Oh please," MC sighed a little.

"I was! Here you are, disappearing all the sudden to study abroad and then later tell us you're with someone. We don't get pictures, we hardly get calls, we get a hand-written letter of all things, so yes, we were all a bit worried. But..." They leaned over and placed a hand on MC's shoulder. "There's something about him...can't quite place it, but he's...different. I can tell he's been good to you."

MC's heart swelled a little. They looked up towards Mammon right as he looked back. When they locked eyes, he beamed and waved, cupping his hands around his mouth to shout. "You better watch me beat these losers!"

MC cheered him on as he turned back towards the other humans. Then they felt MC's company nudge them a bit. "Is it true he's got six other siblings?"

"Uh, yeah," MC answered honestly.

"Next time we do this, we'll have to invite all of them. Imagine how fun that would be!"

MC chuckled nervously. Trying to get all seven demons to control themselves accordingly?...Sounds almost more like a nightmare. But also...Maybe there would be a proper day where they'd all get to meet. The humans MC cared most of all meeting the demons they cared for most of all. "I think that would be nice." Although, as the frisbee game seemed to be ending, MC got up quickly, hoping to get away for a bit before they were asked any more questions. "Be back in a bit!" They jogged over warm sand to snatch Mammon by the hand, dragging him away.

"Hey, what's going on?" Mammon wondered as they both headed towards the sea.

MC looked back at him, feeling the waves coming up to wash over their feet. "I just wanted you to myself for a bit, that's all." They headed over to a quieter part of the beach, walking towards the ocean till the water was at their waist. "Thank you," they suddenly said, looking out towards the waves, listening to the happy screams of children, to the birds above them.

"Huh?" Mammon moved to stand in front of them, holding their arms in his hands. "Why? What did I do?"

"Just...for everything. For coming up here, for following this story I made up, for getting along with my family. I hope you're having fun, I know you're not really used to being away from the others."

"You're here, that's all that really matters to me, you know that."

MC felt a warm tug in their chest. "I know. I love you."

Mammon had to look away for a moment, but inevitably glanced back. "I love you too." MC pulled at him a bit, gesturing for a kiss. PDA typically embarrassed him, but who was he to deny something like that? He closed his eyes and leaned over just in time to get a sudden splash of water in the face. He spluttered a bit, watching MC laugh and suddenly swim away. "Oi! You little....Come back!" He meant to sound frustrated, but he couldn't help but laugh, diving into the ocean to catch his human, snatching them by the waist. "Gotcha. Gimmie what you owe me."

"Fine, fine," MC, turning in his grasp to plant a kiss on his lips. "Hm, too salty."

"And whose fault is that for splashing me, huh? I think I deserve interest for that!"

MC wrapped their arms around his neck and kissed him once more, rubbing his back a little as they parted. "There, happy now?"

He hummed like he was thinking it over. "For now." They both waded in the water a bit, enjoying each other's company. "I'm really glad I get to be here with you. This has only been one day and yet I feel like the happiest demon in the world. This is going to be a great vacation."

"Yeah," MC agreed, the last bit of anxiety they were holding suddenly unraveled while they were in his arms. They looked off in the distance where their family was playing. "It will be."

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me mammon #obey me mammon x mc #gn!mc

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ohallthecrushes · 2 months

Text

You're a storm in a teacup and I'm starting to like the chaos.

I won't blame you if you feel as frustrated as Elias in this episode. But this is part 1 of this dance between them and I swear they're gonna finish it with fireworks in part 2.

Without further ado!

Summary: Evelyn is a young-troubled woman who’s just escaped a highly guarded psych ward (twice, but this time causing havoc on her way out)

Now she’s running through the city, hiding from police. A not-so-accidental encounter with a man named Elias Voit will change her life forever. And she’ll change his. His seemingly selfless help is laced with danger, hidden agenda, manipulation, endless tension, and…love? Slow burning inteligent-idiots-in-love trope. But mind you, just because it’s a love story, doesn’t mean it ends well.

General warnings throughout the story: Manipulation, illegal activities, murder(s), Stockholm syndrome, kidnapping, explicit content, language… The whole pack. It’s Criminal minds after all.

In this episode: He makes some amends and takes her on a mission. They have a job to do. One simple job that definitely don't include breaking his rules and dancing in a stolen dress.

Elias woke the next morning, all felt like a fever dream. He replayed the events of the night over and over in his mind, wondering if he had pushed her too far. But he had had to teach her not to play him in the most gentle way he could, and obviously he could had done worst than that and yet he hadn't. So despite everything that could had happened, he was sure he had done the right thing.

He started his day as usual, no regret of his actions and no pondering of what could had been. He moved on and expected Evelyn to do the same.

And yet...

She didn't. Instead she was acting like a trapped animal, hiding before him in her room. He let her be for some time, until it started to feel annoying. He paced the cabin, the silence growing more oppressive with each passing hour. Their usual banter, her sharp mind, their conversations—he missed it all.

He missed her.

He needed her to feel safe with him again, so he decided he needed to make some amends, to take a step back and give her some space, and hopefully, she would feel more at ease.

He sat at the small desk in the corner of his bedroom and pulled out a piece of paper. He took a deep breath and began to write, old-fashioned style.

Evelyn

I realize that last night might have been too intense. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable or scared. That was never my intention. I understand that you need time and space to process everything, and I want you to know that you're safe here.

I have to leave the cabin for a couple of hours or so. Use this time to relax and think. When I return, we can talk if you’re ready. Or not. It’s your choice.

Elias

He folded the note and walked to her door, sliding it under with a sense of finality. As he walked to the living room, he reflected on his own feelings. How much this note was a simple manipulation and how much sincerity he actually put in it? He furrowed his brows not sure of the answer.

He gathered a few things, packed a small bag, and glanced back at the door of her room. He wanted to knock, to say something more, but he knew it wasn't the time. With a sigh, he turned and left the cabin, hoping that the time apart would help them both find some clarity.

As the door closed behind him, the cabin felt even quieter. Evelyn, hearing the front door shut, got up from her bed and retrieved the note. She read it slowly with a hint of disbelief.

Was he sorry? Really?

Or was he trying to lure her out?

She appreciated the gesture even if it wasn't complete genuine, but it also left her with more questions. She sat down on the edge of her bed, holding the note, and pondered what her next move should be. The silence now felt less oppressive and more like a space for reflection, though it felt unnatural as well. She looked at the door. Had he left? That would be a relief, wouldn't it?

Moving with cautious, she left her room and peeked into the kitchen, then the living room.

Empty.

A quick check confirmed the front door was still firmly locked. Elias wasn't playing any escape games this time.

She smiled slightly at the realization. For the first time since arriving, she was alone. Freedom at last. She came back to the kitchen and poured herself a cup of tea as a simple act of celebration before she began to explore the cabin. Now without him around she could check everything more precisely, hoping to find something interesting.

But she felt disappointment quickly. The cupboards yielded nothing but mundane supplies, drawers hid nothing besides the ordinary, and the walls were adorned with generic landscapes devoid of any personal touch. No photos, no souvenirs, no personal belongings... Was there anything real in this place, anything that offered a glimpse into the man who held her captive?

An hour later, she slumped onto the couch, the search was fruitless. Everything was clean, even sterile, a carefully constructed facade that revealed nothing. The answers, if any existed, were likely locked away in Elias's room.

She swallowed the disappointment down her throat with a tea. The man she was drawn to was still an enigma. She knew nothing more about him than what he'd told her. And yet he knew more about her than she'd ever revealed. It wasn't fair.

The last night...her plan to get revenge, had back fired at her in ways she hadn't expected. It was partly her fault for underestimating him and thinking that stepping on this man's pride and provoke him was a good idea, that somehow she'd be able to control the situation. But even with all the consequences that he'd warned about, and his possessive statement that she was his, she couldn't deny that the arousal she'd felt had overshadowed the initial fear.

Now that she was alone in the cabin, she could be completely honest with herself and finally admit it.

And honesty, the consequences were ricocheting in her mind between being a threat and being a delicious promise.

The sound of the front door opening halted her contemplation. Elias walked in, his dark blue eyes sweeping the room before landing on her. A hint of amusement danced in their depths.

"Thorough, aren't we, Evelyn?" He sounded almost amused. "Did you find anything… interesting?"

He knew. Of course, he knew. She forced a nonchalant shrug, trying to hide her disappointment. "Just looking around."

"And here I thought you'd just enjoy your freedom, relaxing with a book, maybe trying to pick up some locks..." he glanced at her, setting down a bag he had brought with him.

"It was tempting to try, but no, as you can see I'm still here." She smirked at him. "But It was nice not having you breathing down my neck for a change."

His eyes twinkling with self-content as he saw that leaving her alone for a while had brought expected results. "Good girl. I'm glad you didn't try to run. It shows you're beginning to understand the benefits of our arrangement."

She bristled at the patronizing tone but chose to remain silent. As she rose, ready to go back to the solitude of her room, he spoke.

"Hold on, Evelyn." he gestured her to stay. "I've brought you something."

She watched curious as he reached into the bag and pulled out something she didn't expect to see. Her old guitar.

He handed it to her like a very precious delicate gift and observed her reaction, reading the kaleidoscope of emotions on her face.

Hesitantly, her fingers reached out, tracing the familiar shape of the instrument. All those memories of songs she'd played when her life had still been normal, came back to her. She couldn't help but smile with nostalgia.

"Thank you." she said genuine. But her eyebrows furrowed slightly as she added playfully. "Don't expect me to play any love ballads for you."

"Not a ballad fan, sweetheart, don't worry." he chuckled. "But I would like you to play something for me. One song." He lifted his index finger. "After all, I went all the way back to your old flat to get this. Surely you can indulge me."

She hesitated for a moment, but then her fingers brush the strings, and she nodded. "Fine, I'll play you something, but not now. I... I need to adjust the guitar first. Maybe later."

"Ok, I'll take your word." He agreed, watching her holding the instrument tightly to her chest.

The guitar was a calculated olive branch that served a purpose, and a sliver of normalcy tossed back in her hands. He was pleased that his gesture had the intended effect, bridging the gap created by their last night's confrontation.

"Anyway..." He said as if reminding himself of something important. "We're hitting the road tonight, so your performance has to wait until we come back."

"We?" she repeated with surprise. "Me too?"

He slowly nodded. "I have a job to do and I believe you may prove yourself useful."

"Useful?" she repeated again, taken aback. "And what kind of job?"

"Don't worry, beautiful, nothing too dangerous." He paused before explained. "Let's just say that someone took something from me. Now, it's time to take something back."

His explanation was as little as ever, but by now, she was used to his veiled pronouncements. She pressed further however, wanting to know what she would be getting herself into.

"Steal something back?" she asked. "Another house break-in then I assume?"

"Something like that." he admitted, his voice devoid of remorse. "Are you in?"

She tilted her head in a knowing look. As if she had a choice. "How can I not be?" She asked with irony.

As the evening came, she changed her clothes to something black and tied up her hair. She was ready to go...eager to go to be honest. She knew that this road trip wasn't something she should be looking forward too, but it was a break from the monotonous routine of the cabin and getting out of here felt like a relief.

The sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in vibrant hues of orange and pink. She stepped out of the cabin and quickly settled down next to Elias in a sleek black car, ready to hit the road. The car purred to life, and just like that they took off into the night.

The dark highway stretched endlessly before them. They didn't talk much. He was focused on the road before him, while she was fiddling with the radio, skipping through various stations. One station after another buzzed to life, offering a cacophony of pop hits, grating news broadcasts, and static, before she found something interesting.

The music filled the car until the last note of the last song faded, leaving a charged silence in its wake. He reached out and flicked the radio off, his gaze focused on the road ahead. "We're almost there." he announced, his voice low and serious.

She straightened in her seat, her attention fully on the surroundings now. As they neared their destination, the landscape began to change. Sprawling suburbs gave way to a more secluded area, and finally, a large villa came into view. It was an imposing structure, surrounded by a high, well-maintained fence.

He pulled the car to a stop at a discreet distance, the engine idling quietly. He turned towards her, his eyes serious. "This is it." he said.

She couldn't help but feel uneasy. Even though she knew the house was probably empty, it still didn't feel right to just break in there.

Elias on the other hand wasn't fazed at all. He explained the layout of the house and the security system. "The alarm is electronically controlled." he said. "Disabling it should be a piece of cake for someone with my skills." He tapped his fingers against the wheel as he glanced at the house. "However..." he continued, gesturing towards the fence. "there's a dead zone near the back window I need to access. I need to plant a device there, but the damn fence is too high to reach from outside."

She eyed the fence with skepticism. "So, what exactly are you proposing I do?"

"Simple, my dear Evelyn. You're small enough to squeeze through that hole in the fence over there." He pointed towards a barely noticeable gap at the base. "Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to plant this device near the back window."

He pulled up a small, sleek gadget that looked utterly unassuming. "Don't worry." he said, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "Like I said before, the house is empty. The biggest threat you'll encounter is probably a bored guard dog… or maybe just a case of claustrophobia."

She glared at him, unamused by his attempt at humor. “Not funny, Elias.”

He shrugged in a nonchalant way. "There's always a dog guarding places like this. Just saying..."

She stared at the barely visible hole, then back at him. The situation was absurd, a scene ripped straight out of a bad spy movie. But deep down, her wild spirit she'd tried to suppress, urged her to accept the challenge.

Grumbling under her breath, she wore her gloves and snatched the device from his hand. "Fine." she muttered, the word laced with annoyance. "But if I get mauled by a guard dog or stuck halfway through this ridiculous fence, I'm blaming you."

"Don't worry, trouble." he said, his voice teasing. "I wouldn't send you if I wasn't sure you can do it. I wouldn't want to lose my most valuable… asset."

Whether his words were meant as a compliment or a veiled joke, she couldn't tell. With a sigh of resignation, she crept out of the car and towards the fence.

The hole was barely big enough for a child, and definitely not designed for a grown woman. She started to crawl through it, wincing as twigs and branches scratched against her skin. Leaves tangled in her hair, and dirt smudged her clothes. This was supposed to be a high-tech heist, not a scene from a children's comedy show.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she pushed herself through the opening. Standing up and dusting herself off, she scanned the yard for any sign of the bored guard dog Elias had mentioned. Nothing. He'd probably been pulling her leg.

Shaking her head, she located the window he'd described. Following his instructions, she placed the device, its tiny antenna pointed directly at the window. A moment later, a green light flickered on, indicating a successful connection. Elias had hacked the system.

Now the waiting began. She scanned the yard again, the silence broken only by the chirping of crickets. The night air was cool against her skin, the adrenaline from the crawl starting to wear off.

After what felt like another eternity, she saw the front gate opening and Elias came through.

"Took you long enough." she grumbled.

There was a smudge of dirt across her cheek, and a stray leaf clung stubbornly to her hair. Her clothes were covered with dirt and debris.

He suppressed a chuckled, noting her annoyance. “You know, I had to be sure my entrance would make a good impact. Anyway you did well.” he praised her as he took off the stray leaf from her hair.

She sighted, his complement did nothing to make her feel less like a crappy burglar. She watched him as he held up his phone. No elaborate climbing or lock-picking for this modern-day thief. Just a few taps on a screen and the door swung open, welcoming them into the opulent interior. He handed her a flashlight and took the lead, not wasting any time. She followed close behind, her gaze wandering over the marble floors, the gleaming chandeliers, and the artwork that decorated the walls. For a moment, her annoyance at being dragged into this bizarre mission faded, distracted by the surroundings.

When he pushed open a heavy wooden door at the end of the hallway, it became clear what he was after: a computer. Or more precisely, what was in it.

He snatched it up, his fingers flying across the keyboard as he plugged a device into the machine, his movements sharp and decisive.

"Downloading something, I presume?" she asked, watching him.

"Something like that." he murmured without looking up.

He didn't elaborate, and she knew better than to ask. This was his world, and she was just a reluctant accomplice or an useful assistant. Whatever the role, she found herself drawn further and further into this dangerous web.

As he continued his work, a low hum of the computer filled the room, the only sound besides the rhythmic tap-tap-tap of his fingers on the keyboard.

She shifted from foot to foot, her gaze drifting around the office. The sleek furniture, the polished wood accents - it was all impressive, but it did little to quell the restlessness creeping in.

Her eyes landed on the desk, and there, nestled beside the open laptop, sat a half-eaten bag of what looked like chocolate chip cookies. Surely, a single cookie wouldn't hurt, right? The owner of this mansion wouldn't even miss one, besides, after her adventure through the fence, she deserved a little treat. She slipped off her glove, her fingers reaching for a cookie. Just one, she promised herself. But then, one turned into two, and two became three. The rich chocolate and sweet dough melted on her tongue.

Suddenly, Elias's head snapped up, his dark eyes locking onto her with disbelief. "Unbelievable." he muttered, his voice laced with a hint of exasperation.

She froze, mid-chew, a half-eaten cookie suspended in her hand. "What?" she mumbled with a sheepish grin. "They're delicious." she added defensively. "Besides, I've earned it."

He raised an eyebrow as he glanced at the screen. “You have a habit of stealing food, you know that?”

She rolled her eyes playfully. “Hey, you keep dragging me into these situations. A girl’s gotta eat, especially when she's bored.”

He leaned back in his chair and sighted. He couldn't help but be charmed by her brazenness.

"Alright, alright." He conceded. "You can explore a little. But stay close, and keep your sticky fingers off anything valuable. And for god's sake, put your glove back on before you leave fingerprints everywhere."

She finished the cookie and winked at him. "Yes, sir." she said mock-saluted him.

She ventured out of the office. The mansion was a labyrinth of hallways and grand rooms, each one more luxurious than the last. She kept her distance, as he had instructed, but curiosity, a persistent itch she could never resist scratching, propelled her further away from the office.

Following verbal instructions had never been her strong suit anyway.

She stumbled upon a room that undeniably belonged to a woman. The air hung heavy with the sweet scent of perfume. The sheer amount of jewelry and expensive accessories was beyond absurd.

Unable to resist the urge, she reached out and picked up a pair of oversized sunglasses. She held them up to her face, peering through the dark lenses. They weren't her style, not at all, but the sheer extravagance of it all was intoxicating.

One item led to another – a wide-brimmed hat, a chunky bracelet that glittered with diamonds. Each piece was like a part of a costume from a life she could never truly inhabit.

Flicking on a small bedside lamp, she caught a glimpse of a vast walk-in closet through an open doorway. The sight that greeted her was enough to make her jaw drop. Rows upon rows of designer clothing, each piece more luxurious than the last, hung with invisible try me tags.

One piece of clothes caught her attention – a black, lace dress that shimmered with a subtle, otherworldly glitter. Surely, just trying it on wouldn't hurt, right? Without hesitation she slipped off her dusty clothes and tried on the dress.

The fabric clung to her, fitting her perfectly. She stood before the large mirror, feeling like a diva just about to attend a luxury dance ball.

Except the music was missing. And this dress craved a soundtrack.

Her gaze fell on a vintage-like music player on the nightstand. She turned it on and hit the play button. a classic 80's slow jam started playing. Perfect.

Meanwhile Elias was nearing the finish line. Just a few more minutes, and he'd have what he came for.

But suddenly he felt a prickle of unease. He glanced towards the doorway, expecting to see Evelyn hovering nearby, but the space was empty. A frown creased his brow. He'd specifically told her to stay close. Curiosity was one thing, but blatant disregard for instructions was another. Great. Just what he needed – a rogue captive with a penchant for wandering.

Sighing in exasperation, he pushed himself away from the desk. There was no point in waiting any longer. He had to find her, and hopefully, she hadn't gotten herself into any trouble.

He stalked down the hallway. He called her name once, a low growl that echoed through the house. No answer. Then, he heard a sound, a faint melody, a slow, sensual tune that seemed to ooze from a room down the hall. His frown deepened. Music? What the hell was she doing? With a surge of irritation, he followed the sound until he stood before the right door. He pushed them open and his eyes fell upon the scene before him. There, in the center of the room, stood Evelyn.

And she was a vision.

Clothed in a black, glittering dress that clung to her body like a second skin, she swayed to the music. Her hair that had been pulled back in a messy bun, now cascaded down her shoulders.

For a moment, he stood there, speechless, his initial frustration forgotten. She looked... incredible.

Then, as quickly as it came, the spell broke. He remembered why he was here, and the reason she shouldn't be cavorting around in stolen clothes.

"Evelyn!" he snapped, his voice sharp with a mixture of annoyance and disbelief. "What the hell do you think you’re doing?"

She startled and whirled around, the black dress swirling around her legs. As her gaze met his, her lips curled into a mischievous grin. She began to sway towards him, her movements effortless and fluid. She spined around and her hand reached out landing on his chest.

"Dance with me, Elias." she said with a low voice. There was a playful invitation in her eyes that felt like a dare.

He stared at her, his initial annoyance dissolving a little. His lips parted, his first instinct was to refuse. The mission was paramount, and he should be reprimanding her, not indulging in a dance. But the way her hand felt on his chest, and the way she looked at him, made him hesitate.

"Just for a moment, please." she asked.

Her body came closer and he found himself at a crossroads. Logic screamed at him to pull away, to focus on the task at hand, but his resolve weakened. The memories from the previous night crawled back into his mind, awaking the desire in him.

With a sigh of surrender he took her hand off of his chest and pulled her closer, their bodies moving together in a slow, hesitant dance.

"Let the music take you." she breathed, her words laced with a playful innocence that belied the effect she was having on him. "Just feel it."

He wasn't sure if it was the music, the borrowed dress clinging to her curves, or the sheer surreality of the situation, but he started to enjoy it. For a few precious moments, the world outside the room ceased to exist for them and the lyrics of the song filled the room.

A safe night, I'm living in the forest of my dream.

I know the night is not as it would seem.

I must believe in something

So I'll make myself believe it

This night will never go.

Their bodies swayed closer, the distance between them shrinking. They could feel the magnetic pull between them growing stronger. His touch, initially hesitant, grew bolder, his hands more daring, hungrier as they tracing down her lower back. He spined her around and pulled her closer, pressing her body to his. Her lips parted slightly as if on the verge of a whisper, letting out a small gasp. He wrapped his arm around her waist and then, with a swiftness that surprised even him, he closed the distance between them completely. His hand found its way to her neck, their breath mingled, eyes locked. In a rush of urgency and need, his lips landed on hers in a hungry, possessive kiss.

She kissed him back with the same desperate urgency, letting his tongue slipped inside her mouth. It wasn't a gentle exploration, but a hungry claim. The kiss was fueled by the built up tension and lust, and the knowledge that this fragile connection could shatter at any moment.

Her hand tangled in his hair, digging into the dark strands as she pressed herself closer. Why was she responding to this man, her captor no less, with a such uncontrolled way?

A gasp escaped her lips, a sound barely audible among the melody of the song.

I never stop myself to wonder why

You help me to forget to play my role

You take my self, you take my self control

His lips left hers, trailing down to explore her neck. His hand, hungry and possessive, grabbed her butt as the other squeezed her neck. A voice, a faint echo of reason, whispered in the back of her mind, urging her to stop this madness. But the heat of his touch, the lust they both felt, were too powerful to resist.

He wanted more, it was evident in the way his hand dipped beneath the flimsy dress, sending a jolt through her. Suddenly he pushed her back onto the nearby bed, the dress pulled up showing her bare thighs. He let his body fall gracefully on top of her, hovering above her. He wasn't going to be gentle this time. The pressing need within him demanded a different kind of intimacy, a raw possession. His touch, rough and insistent, charted a path down her body, eliciting gasps that charged his own lust. A different kind of music to his ears.

I, I live among the creatures of the night.

I haven't got the will to try and fight,

against a new tomorrow, so I guess I'll just believe it,

that tomorrow never comes.

His hand found its way under the dress, revealing more of her body to him, giving him an access to her most vulnerable parts. She felt his hand pressed on her soaked underwear, his fingers started eagerly rubbing her clit through a thin fabric as his mouth attacked her neck, going down to her cleavage. He almost ripped off the dress with his other hand, to free her breast. His mouth found a nipple and sucked on it, his teeth half-gently nibbling it, making her gasped with overwhelming sensation.

There's a moment of resistance, of course, a whispered plea for him to slow down. But he didn't listen. He pushed past her defenses, his hunger a relentless wave that would eventually crash over them both.

She had no other choice than to submit to him. She clung onto him, her hands slipped underneath his shirt, pulling it up, her nails scratching his skin.

He reached down to his pants and unzipped it, his hard cocked pressed onto her clit as he lowered himself, pinning her down to the mattress. He was ready to take her, to finally claim her, to hold sway over her desires and needs in ways she couldn't even imagine.

But then, as abruptly as it began, the music stopped. The silence that followed was filled only with their rapid breaths and uncontrolled gasps. He tensed for a moment, his body pulling back from hers just a fraction as he opened his eyes.

What was he doing? Taking her on a stranger's bed in the house they'd broken into? Ripping off the dress that didn't belong to her? Was he really wanted to fuck her here? Leave his seed, his DNA all over the crime scene? Risking to be caught?

A frustrated groan rumbled in his chest.

He looked down at her, his eyes dark with desire and unwanted but unassailable realization. This wasn't the place. Doing it here wasn't an option.

With a muttered curse, he pulled back, his body tensed with self-restraint. He'd let himself get lost, be recklessly careless and taken over by his primal desire. Fuck.

It was deeply frustrating. He hadn't planned on this, on the way her touch would disarm him, the way her own recklessness would affect him in such way.

She was left laying sprawled on the bed as he got up. Her breath was caught in her throat, she felt disappointment, but it was quickly replaced by shame and confusion. She hadn't expected this to go so far, yet a part of her couldn't help but feel a pang of frustration at his abrupt retreat.

She propped herself on her elbows and looked at him as he zipped up his pants and pulled down his shirt. He didn't wear his usual mask of indifference, there were a lot of conflicting emotions playing on his features, frustration, anger, suppressed lust and something akin to disappointment.

His words when they came were clipped, harsh commands that startled her. "Get dressed. Change back into your own clothes. Tidy this room up, make it look like you weren't even here and meet me in the car. And do it fast. Don't make me have to come back here."

There was no room for questions, no space for arguments. His voice was a harsh rasp filled with danger and an unspoken threat.

She just watched him leave trying to figure what had gone wrong. She realized that he'd let himself get caught up in the moment, just like her. He'd forgotten the danger, the mission, all for a dance and a kiss and everything that this kiss had been leading to but hadn't meant to happen. He was angry, that much was clear, angry at her and perhaps, even more so at himself.

With a sigh, she rose from the bed and started to undress...

Inside the car he didn't spare her a glance, his jaw clenched tight as he pulled out of the driveway, leaving the mansion behind them. She sat beside him in silence thinking that this wasn't how it was supposed to end. Their moment of a raw unexpected lust had felt so good when it had lasted. Now, it felt like a cruel tease though this time it wasn't her intention at all. But did he know that?

The silence in the car was heavy. Finally, he broke it, his voice laced with a harshness. "You had one job, Evelyn." he growled. "One. Stay close, don't touch anything, and don't cause any trouble. You managed to break every single rule in the span of ten minutes."

His words were a whiplash, leaving a stinging mark on her pride. He was right, but his anger wasn't exactly triggered by her disregarding of his rules, but the unfinished dance between them. She couldn't help but feel resentment. This hadn't been entirely her fault. He, too, had been caught in the moment, momentarily forgetting his rigid control and rules. Yet, she knew that it wouldn't be wise to make him realize that right now. It'd only escalate the already tensed situation.

"I... I'm sorry." she mumbled instead, the words barely a whisper.

Tears for some unknown reason pricked at her eyes, blurring the passing scenery. She turned her head away with an attempt to hide her vulnerability.

He glanced at her but didn't say anything.

The miles slipped by, the memory of their dance, of their tangled bodies, vivid and pulsating, played on a loop in his mind. Her hand, warm and insistent, on his chest, the heat radiating from her body, the kiss, the lust that had ignited a firestorm within him... He knew he shouldn't had taken her invitation in the first place. It would have jeopardized their entire mission. Luckily he'd regained control over this mess before it'd have brought them into serious troubles.

Unfortunately he was aware that the problem they were facing now, the real problem that wouldn't just go away, was the lingering tension, the lust that required to be fulfilled, the unfinished dance that had started long before they'd entered that mansion.

The problem had to be resolved quickly before it got out of hand.

And he knew that they could defuse the tension in only one way.

But they needed to get back to the cabin first.

#fanfiction #elias voit #sicarius #cm evolution

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pocket-luv101 · 4 months

Text

Where the Heart Leads // CynoNari

Fandom: Genshin Impact Ship: CynoNari

Summary: In the Temple of Silence, Cyno struggles to decide what he should do.

A/N: (Cyno Story Quest 2 spoilers)

“I made this remedy from Kalpalata Lotuses and Henna Berries. Our dendro Archon created the vines so they have remnants of the Divine Tree’s power. The berries enhance those properties and add a cooling effect to make the drink easier to digest. It will ease your pain and fatigue. I’m sorry that I can’t do more than make your passing peaceful.” Tighnari placed the bowl on the bedside table and then reached to help the elderly man sit up.

The sharp gaze on his back made him pause. Since he entered the temple, he felt the desert priests and warriors watching him with suspicion. He couldn’t blame them due to the tense history between the rainforest and desert. They were slowly starting to mend their relationship after they overthrew the corrupt sages. However, the Temple of Silence isolated themselves and were more cautious.

Tighnari hoped that they could gain the priests’ trust. He looked over his shoulder to guards standing next to the door. Without breaking his gaze with them, Tighnari ate a spoonful of the medicine. “I am a Forest Watcher and a doctor. I made a vow to protect every living being before me. Anyways, it would shortsighted and idiotic for me to assassinate your chief while I’m a guest here.”

He waited until the guards relaxed before he continued to help Bamoun. Despite their first hostile introduction, it was clear that the chief was well respected among his people. Tighnari knew that people were more than the image they projected. Scholars often judged Cyno as the cold General Mahamatra but Tighnari saw so much more in him.

After he finished treating Bamoun, he left the room. He intended to return to the room that Sethos gave them and discuss what they should do next. Sage Cyrus was taken prisoner by the Temple of Silence. If they wanted to rescue him without antagonizing the Temple of Silence, they needed to be careful and diplomatic. There was also the question of whether they would allow Cyno to leave with the Ba Fragment of Hermanubis.

I won’t let them take him, Tighnari silently vowed to himself. Cyno had protected him countless times and he would be the one to help him.

He only took a few steps outside before he saw Cyno. He was leaning on the wall across from the door. Tighnari didn’t need to ask him to know that he had been waiting for him. Cyno likely wanted to be nearby so he could protect him in case someone attacked him. The unvoiced kindness made Tighnari’s face soften into a small smile.

“It’s late so we should rest in our room. You travelled through both the rainforest and desert without taking a break. You need to rest, Cyno. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow and it’s best to have energy and be well prepared.” Tighnari held out his hand to him so they could walk together, side by side. He was confused when Cyno didn’t take his hand as he usually would.

Quietly, Cyno said: “They placed Sage Cyrus in a prison cell. I went to check on him but they won’t allow me inside because they’re worried that I’ll help him escape.”

Understanding quickly dawned on Tighnari. The third reason he waited for him was because he needed someone to talk to. Cyno was guarded and rarely let down his walls to be vulnerable. Tighnari was the only exception. He lifted his hand and lightly ran his thumb over his cheek. He searched for the right words to comfort him. For Cyno, the tender gesture was enough for him.

“We’ll save him. I promise.” Tighnari looked down the hall where priests and soldiers passed by. He leaned closer to Cyno and whispered into his ear. “It’ll be best to find a private place to talk. I should be able to find an empty room by listening for voices.”

“I know a place.” Cyno wrapped his arm around Tighnari’s waist and led him down the hall. He didn’t question where he would take him because he trusted him. He took him through the maze of halls and they walked through the shadows to not be seen. The tall statues of Hermanubis protected them from prying eyes when they reached the end of the hallway.

Cyno ran his hand over the stone wall and Tighnari wondered what he could be searching for. He strained his ear and searched for a hint. He could hear a soft breeze beyond the wall and he reasoned that there was a secret passage. The sharp strike of obsidian against rock made his ears flatten against his head. Cyno dug his staff into a crack in the wall and then pried the door open.

The opening he created was thin and they were barely able to force themselves through. He could only see a few feet in front of him since the room was pitched in darkness. Tighnari blindly reached forward and searched for a lantern that they could light. The darkness hid the steps in front of him and he almost tripped over the stair. He started to fall forward but Cyno caught him.

“Be careful.” Cyno helped him stand again but he didn’t let him go immediately. He kept one arm around his waist and, with his free hand, he created small sparks to light their way. Tighnari studied the walls as they climbed the steps. Cobwebs filled the lanterns on the wall and their footsteps created holes in the floor of dust. How long has it been since someone entered the hidden staircase? How did Cyno know of it?

They reached the room at the top. Cyno placed his electro energy on the candle waiting for them. A purple hue engulfed the room and revealed a study. Scrolls and books lined the walls and the table held strange instruments. The atmosphere of the study told him that the room held a deep history. As he scanned the room, Cyno collapsed in a chair.

“Are you okay, Cyno?” His expression had become more burdened and weary. Tighnari moved in front of him and ran his fingers through his silver hair. “What is this room? Did Sage Cyrus tell you about it before they took him away?”

“This is Hermanubis’s private library. He told me about it.” Cyno whispered the name. He rarely told others of his past or the divine spirit within him. Tighnari knew about the experiments that the Akademiya performed to force Cyno to master its power at a young age. His heart ached when he thought of everything Cyno went through.

Tighnari dropped his hand from his hair and wrapped his arms around his neck. He climbed onto Cyno’s lap and hugged him. He could feel his breath brush over his skin as he buried his face into his neck. Cyno breathed in the scent of flowers and dewdrops that clung to his hair. If they weren’t so close, Tighnari wouldn’t have heard him whisper: “Hermanubis’s voice has gotten stronger since we entered the Temple of Silence. He wants me to stay.”

“But—” Tighnari bit his tongue against the rest of the sentence. I don’t want you to leave.

They had been friends since they were students in the Akademiya and their lives had entwined further since then. Tighnari couldn’t imagine his life without Cyno. He held him a little tighter, as if he could keep him from staying in the Temple of Silence. A part of him knew that it was selfish to stop Cyno if he wanted to help the priests as Hermanubis’s heir. “That’s what Hermanubis tells you. But, what’s your decision?”

“I don’t know.” Cyno let out a heavy sigh. “I was born here but it doesn’t feel like my true home. Sage Cyrus raised me in the Akademiya but, aside from Sage Cyrus and Lisa, the scholars treated me like an outsider. Hermanubis wants me to help the priests here. However, I can’t protect others while I’m here. You, Collei, Sage Cyr— My father.”

Cyrus rescued Cyno after he saw how painful the experiments were. He went on to adopt him and he was endlessly grateful to him. Even if the Akademiya distrusted people from the desert, Sage Cyrus treated him as his own son. He only hesitated to call him by “father” because of a fear he held from childhood. If the Akademiya decided their experiments failed, they would be separated. He thought he could protect himself from the pain by distancing himself from others.

Nevertheless, he slowly built a home in the rainforest: the hut Cyrus raised him in; the library where Lisa tutored him; and the dinner table he shared with Tighnari and Collei. Cyno finally returned Tighnari’s warm embrace. The most important home he made was the one in his arms. He loved him and he would stay by his side as long as he allowed it.

“I know the Temple of Silence has been struggling without Hermanubis’s full power and I want to help them. I can’t turn my back on my duties as the General Mahamatra though. My concern is that Hermanubis will take back his blessing if I refuse to stay. Without his power, I can’t protect you.”

“Hermanubis chose you for a reason. Children could be candidates for his power but only a few became his vessels. I don’t know what those conditions were but I can list a few guesses. You’re strong in will and body. You have a kind heart. You’re intelligent. Those are aspects of a Divine Spirit.” Tighnari leaned back and cupped Cyno’s face. “Provided that he intended his power to only be for the Temple of Silence, he would’ve taken it away during the General Mahamatra ceremony.”

“I already decided that I won’t leave, whether Hermanubis took away my blessing or not.” Cyno took his hand and lifted it enough for him to kiss wrist. Tighnari didn’t know whether it was his words or kiss that made his heart race. He was grateful for the dim lighting of his electro bolt so Cyno couldn’t see him blushing. “I’ll find a way to help them after we recuse Sage Cyrus and return home.”

“He shouldn’t look too excited. The moment we’re back at my hut, I’m going to give you a long lecture.” Tighnari warned him and slipped his hand from Cyno’s hold. Confusion passed over Cyno’s face and that made Tighnari frown deeper. “Don’t act as though you don’t know why I’m angry with you. You ran into the desert alone and left me a note to not follow you!”

“With how little I knew about the Temple of Silence, it was too dangerous to involve you, Tighnari. I thought I could save Sage Cyrus on my own. Look at the situation we’re in now. Sethos called us guests but the Temple of Silence can make us prisoners.” Cyno already knew that any argument he made would be pointless once he saw Tighnari’s stubborn frown. He fell in love with Tighnari’s stubborn conviction and, even now, his unwavering eyes drew him in.

“I understand that you wanted to go after your father right away but… Why did you tell me not to follow you? No matter how dangerous the situation is, I will be here for you. I thought you knew that, Cyno. Is it because you think I’m weak?” They were close and the thought that Cyno didn’t trust him was painful.

Tighnari pulled away from him and started to climb off his lap. He was taken by surprise when Cyno placed his hand on the small of his back and stopped him. He fell backwards when his other hand grabbed his leg. Instinctively, Tighnari clung to Cyno to keep himself from crashing to the ground. Cyno’s strong hands kept him from falling.

He landed on the desk. They had never been so close before, with Cyno above him and his legs wrapped around his waist. Tighnari could feel his heart racing against his shirt but he didn’t know whether it belonged to him or Cyno. He was surprised by Cyno’s calm expression and wondered if he was the only one flustered by their position.

Then, he looked into his red eyes. His gaze was filled with tenderness and love. “You’re the strongest person I know. You’re also one of the most important people in my life. That’s why I wanted to keep you from the Temple of Silence. It was to protect you. I—”

A knock from across the room made them both flinch. Cyno quickly covered Tighnari’s body to protect him. He looked up and found Sethos standing in the doorway. His eyes narrowed into a glare as he expected Sethos to arrest them for entering Hermanubis’s study. However, Sethos merely held up his empty hands.

“I spoke with the guards and convinced them to allow you to visit Cyrus. I intended to tell you sooner but I couldn’t find you. You should go see him before the guards change their minds, especially if they knew where you disappeared to.”

“Cyrus needs medical attention so I should see him right away!” Tighnari slipped under Cyno’s arm and quickly left the room. He couldn’t meet Sethos’s eyes as he passed him, embarrassed to be caught in such an intimate position.

Cyno was slower to leave than Tighnari. He followed him but paused next to Sethos. He didn’t take his eyes off Tighnari descending the staircase as he said: “I’m not going to give you Hermanubis without a fight. I need his power to protect the ones I love.”

“I do too.”

#genshin impact #cynonari #cyno x tighnari #genshin impact cyno #genshin impact tighnari #fanfiction

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sarahowritesostucky · 6 months

Text

📖"Alpha, Beta (& Omega)"

Rated: Explicit

Chapter Rating: Teen

Word Count: 3617

Pairing: Steve x Bucky

Tags: a/b/o, arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, nobility/royalty au, alternate history, dom/sub elements, beta bucky, anal sex, oral sex, hurt/comfort, first time, age gap, domestic discipline, spanking, head of household, wedding night, Edwardian time period, m/f/m poly marriage

Summary: To save House Barnes from scandalous ruin, James must agree to a contracted marriage, accepting Lord Senator Steven Rogers as his Alpha, Husband, and Headship.

To read previous parts of this series first, got to the story's masterlist

13. A Public Scene

This Chapter: “What do you think I should do to you, hm? You think I should spank you? Put you over my knee? I wasn't raised to neglect my duties as Headship, Bucky. I've been spending all this time trying to be lenient, trying to be your friend. But maybe that’s not what you need. Maybe you just need to be put in your place.”

Bucky sets his plan into motion the very next day. He asks Steve if they can do something fun that evening. “Something that does not involve high Society,” he stipulates, to which Steve gets a thoughtful look on his face and tells him,

“Yeah. Yeah we can do that. I’ll come up with something.”

What Bucky doesn’t expect is for him to take them out to a genuine tavern. Inside the local Rose and Crown, it’s warm and loud and cheerful. Bucky lets Steve guide him to a booth and they both slide onto the bench, squished in next to each other. “It’s crowded!” Bucky says, voice raised to be heard over the general volume of the place. He's grinning like an idiot, never having been in a place like this. "I've never been in a place like this!"

“Sorry!” Steve says. “I know it’s a little common, but I thought that was what you might’ve wan—"

“I love it!” Bucky says, and he does. The hubbub and cheer of all the patrons is infectious. It makes Bucky wish that he could be a part of it. Society fellows like he and Steve would never be permitted to frequent places like this back home. The anonymity of their trip allows them to pass under the radar for now, and Bucky finds that delightful. The fact that they’ve dressed down for the evening helps them pass unnoticed—although they’re dressed fancier than any of the locals. It isn’t a lewd place or anything, just a social hub for working men and women after a long day, but the mood is boisterous and rowdy, and Bucky is honestly surprised that Steve would bring him here. “It’s neat!” he tells Steve.

Steve smiles and looks enthused at Bucky’s response. He scoots in closer—much closer—to Bucky and puts their faces together so that neither of them has to shout. “Yeah?” he asks, smiling genuinely and meeting Bucky’s gaze with his pretty blue eyes and stupidly earnest, stupidly handsome face. “Good. I wanted to do something you’d enjoy, after the ball last night. I know you didn’t exactly have the greatest time.”

Bucky scoffs. “You can say that again.”

On the tabletop, Steve’s hand slides over top of his, enveloping his fingers in an affectionate squeeze. “I know that wasn’t easy for you, behaving like that, having all those snotty people look down their noses at you. But I appreciate the restraint you showed.” His eyes are kind but his lips quirk the barest bit, as if he’s remembering Bucky’s huffy shenanigans at the ball. “I have to admit, I kind of loved seeing the look on Lady Whatsit’s face when you actually told her to butt out.” When Bucky does nothing but look at their joined hands and grunt, Steve hums and rubs hand soothingly. “I’m sure it’ll get easier to navigate public events in the future, as a Senatorial Spouse. And of course it's not so strict back home, Buck. You know I’ll always try to—”

“Let’s order drinks,” Bucky says, cutting him off and pulling his hand out of Steve’s consoling one. Steve looks a little miffed, but Bucky pretends not to notice and flags down the barkeep.

“Get ye?” the man asks as he arrives at their table, wiping his hands on a towel. Bucky asks what he recommends they order to drink. The barkeep squints at him, as though Bucky’s outed himself as an outsider simply by having to ask. He grunts and says that he’ll bring them over two pints. Bucky’s certain he catches the guy muttering something about “Rich folk” on his way back to the bar.

Two big glasses get clunked onto the table a moment later. “Hope you like Guinness,” Bucky tells Steve as he sits back and pulls his own mug in close. “Or whatever this is.” It’s black, foamy on top, and Bucky lifts the heavy glass to drink from it. The foam gets all over his upper lip. He pulls back and smacks his lips loudly. “Wow. I really hate beer.” He sips again, accumulating more foam. Steve laughs at him and Bucky raises an eyebrow. Deciding to be a shit, he swipes the foam away on a finger, then sucks that finger into his mouth in a purposefully suggestive manner.

“Buck,” Steve scolds, still smiling. “Take it easy.”

Bucky refrains from rolling his eyes. “Oh. So I can’t entice you in public then?”

Steve’s eyebrows rise. “Entice?”

“Mm.” Bucky shrugs. “I mean, you wouldn’t want me doing anything like, say … this?” He scoots so close to Steve that they’re pressed full together from shoulder to hip, then slides his hand onto Steve’s leg. Even from over his trousers, Bucky can feel the firm muscle of his thigh. “Husband?”

Steve’s gone still, and after a moment of what Bucky interprets as shock, his hand finds Bucky’s under the table and removes it. “Yeah. Definitely not that.”

“Oh come on. Don’t be such an old man.”

“I’m hardly old,” Steve drawls. “Just because you’re a child.”

“You’re the one who married me,” Bucky grumbles before he can help it. Steve stiffens though, having heard. He lets go of Bucky’s hand.

“I meant it figuratively, of course,” he snips. “You’re of majority.”

Yeah and you’re a thirty year old Alpha who pity-married your beta first. Who even does that? Bucky can’t bring himself to say it out loud, though he wants to. When he starts to slide his hand back onto Steve’s thigh, the alpha sighs and removes it again. “Honestly, Buck, what do you want me to say: ‘Yes, you can go ahead and grope me in public’?”

“Nobody would’ve seen,” Bucky snipes. “I was just trying to have some fun.”

Steve looks like he doesn’t know what to say to that. Before he can say anything, the sound of a piano chimes, someone having started in on a loud tune across the bar. It’s a drinking song that’s obviously well-known, as many of the patrons laugh and start to sing along. “There,” Steve says, wrapping his arm around Bucky’s waist and hugging him against his side. He kisses his hair and gives him a playful squeeze. “Stop trying to molest me and just enjoy the atmosphere.”

Bucky grunts, pulls his beer in closer to sip it, and tries not to admit to himself how much he likes the feeling of being held tightly against Steve’s body.

Several beers and many songs later, the pub is in full swing. The man who’d been playing songs at the piano an hour ago has been replaced by a younger—and drunker—woman, and she’s banging out tunes that have far bawdier lyrics, much to Bucky’s delight.

He’s drunk now. He waited until Steve got caught up in conversation with a friendly stranger, then took several shots in rapid succession before he could be caught. Now, Steve has excused himself to the restroom and Bucky’s taken his chance again to order and down another two shots. He goes to the piano’s side with a few other fellows who’re singing along, and stands there drinking his beer and singing loudly along with the current song that he thinks he’s got about half the lyrics down pat—something about a locksmith’s mistress.

The other people have noticed Bucky and that he’s American, and they start cheering for him to take the lead in the chorus. And hey, since Bucky’s drunk and wants to piss Steve off, he figures this is a good way to test the waters. It’s not like he isn’t having fun being stupid in public, anyways. So he gets up on a bench and starts singing the worst of the lewd lyrics with everyone clapping and singing along with him.

Everybody is ruddy-cheeked and howling with laughter and drunkenness, and Bucky is actually starting to crack himself up. Down below, somebody shoves what must be the prettiest girl in the room forward and they hoist her up onto Bucky’s bench, and Bucky takes her into his arms and they sing the lyrics together, him getting the words wrong out of ignorance, and her out of utter drunkenness. The chorus comes ‘round again and they’re all about to sing it, but then Steve comes back from the restroom and sees the situation. And he does not look pleased. His eyes widen in shock, aimed straight at where Bucky has his arm wrapped around the pretty girl’s waist. Then they narrow to slits,

Oh boy.

Bucky grins and lowers the girl back down to the floor. “Sorry Doll,” he says. “I think this is where I leave you.”

“Aww no!!” The crowd moans and protests the ‘Crazy American’ leaving, but Bucky waves them off with a drunken salute. “I love you!” he says. “Goodnight! Godspeed! God save the queen!”

The people roar and cheer even louder at that, and just when Bucky’s about to say he’ll be back tomorrow night, he feels Steve’s big hand wrap around his wrist and give a firm yank. “Let’s go.”

Outside on the street, Bucky has to keep his eyes focused on the sidewalk because everything in London is cobblestoned and therefore a literal deathtrap for any pedestrian who’s had more than two drinks. “Ouch! Oof! Steve, slow down!” Bucky’s giggling and stumbling, holding onto Steve’s arm as they walk and gleefully aware of how unhappy his husband is. The upset, possessive Alpha smell coming off of him is the biggest indicator. Bucky snickers, amused by it as they walk. “You smell mad, Steve.”

Steve grunts.

“Are you mad?” Bucky asks, voice lilting childishly, even to his own ears.

Steve huffs and pulls him along. “Yes, Bucky. I’m mad.”

“But whyyy?” Bucky whines.

“Because. You were behaving like a fool.”

“Pft. So what?”

Steve’s arm muscles stiffen where Bucky’s hanging onto him. “You’re a Senator’s husband!”

Bucky huffs. He knows that. If they were in the States, he’d almost certainly be in the penny papers by morning print. And it would not be good for Steve’s image or his career “Why’d we hafta leave?” he slurs, not paying attention to Steve’s answer at all. He knows he was being completely inappropriate. That’d been the point. He doesn’t admit this to Steve, of course. “I was having fun!”

“Too much fun,” Steve says, voice clipped.

Bucky grumbles unhappily. “No.”

“Come on. We’re here.”

The next thing Bucky knows, they’re in the apartment, and—wow—he must be drunker than he thought, because hadn’t they just been in the street? “Huh,” he says, rubbing his eyes and shrugging his jacket off onto the floor. He hears Steve make a frustrated sound and turns to face him. “What?”

“Pick that up,” Steve says. “You’re not going to make a mess in my home.”

“Your home?” Bucky frowns. “What’s yours is mine, Dear.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Yeah yeah. Hang your things up, or at least put them in the bin where the servants will find them.”

It takes Bucky a few seconds to process that, and when he does, he gets defensive and sneers at Steve. “The ‘bin’? The ‘bin’ is the trashcan, Steve. Don’t you speak British?” He’s being nothing but snotty and difficult, but that’s the whole point. He kicks his jacket across the floor, though it doesn’t move very far—certainly not far enough to be satisfying. “S’fine,” he insists brattily. “I’ll get it tomorrow.”

Steve clearly doesn’t think this is funny. He stands there looking annoyed, hands on his hips. “Trust me, tomorrow you are not going to be in any shape to tidy this place. Come on Bucky. Pick it up. I’m not playing this game with you.”

Bucky stills, the amusement draining from his face at the rude awakening of Steve's Voice. “‘Game’?” he says lowly. “You think I’m playing a game?”

“Pick up your things and come to bed.” Steve doesn’t spare him another glance as he turns and leaves the room.

Bucky scoffs at the authority in his tone, and at the fact that he's pretty much dismissed Bucky by turning his back and walking away. Bucky scoops up his jacket and follows after him, standing in the doorway to the bedroom and crossing his arms as he watches Steve starting to get undressed.

“Hang your jacket up,” Steve says.

Bucky drops it. “Make me.” He kicks his shoes off one by one, just to add to the insolence.

“Oh.” Steve says. He nods and calmly removes his cufflinks and watch. He sets them aside on the highboy, then takes the time to neatly remove his shirt and drape it over the footboard of the bed. Bucky gets distracted at the sight of Steve’s bared upper body in only an undershirt—his toned back and wide shoulders and tapered waist … But then Steve turns to face him, and the look he gives Bucky is all business. “Is that how it is, then?” he asks quietly.

Bucky nods, though in all honesty he feels a bit nervous to be actively challenging Steve like this. Even for someone like him, it’s bold. Steve is his Headship, after all, and his features are hardening rapidly at Bucky’s behavior. “That’s how it is,” Bucky says.

Steve inhales deeply, looking disappointed. “You’re sloppy-drunk Buck. How many shots did you down while I was away from the table?”

Bucky's face slackens, taken-aback and annoyed that Steve knows about the shots. Digging his heels in, he shrugs and lets a mean little chuckle escape. “I dunno. Who cares? I was having fun.” He gets up in Steve’s face and points at him. “Because that’s what real people do, Steve. They have fun, they get drunk.”

“It’s how alcoholics have fun,” Steve snaps, not backing down from Bucky’s closeness. “Or bratty betas who’re trying to cause a scene.”

Bucky freezes, caught out by Steve’s words. “I—I wasn’t—”

“Oh, weren’t you?” Steve cants his head. “You’re telling me that little display wasn’t you trying to push your boundaries with me?”

Bucky feels his cheeks heat. “Boundaries?” He scoffs. “What boundaries? You haven’t set any. I’m not a child.” Bitterly, he adds, “Like you have any right to—”

“I have every right to, and you know it,” Steve says tersely. “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to make it a formal thing in our marriage. I was hoping you’d just—"

“Just what, Steve? Hm? Just behave? Fall in line? Obey you?”

Steve's lips twist unhappily. “It was in your marriage vows, if you’ll remember correctly.”

That hits Bucky like a slap in the face. Because, shit: it really was, wasn’t it? “Well we both know this was a marriage of convenience,” he counters, flustered and well-aware of the new level of nasty he’s taking this to. “I didn’t get to write the vows, I just had to say them.”

“But you did agree to say them. I gave you ample opportunity to back out,” Steve says. "I left the choice to you."

“And leave my family in ruin?” Bucky scoffs. “Yeah, some choice that was.” He glares at Steve and growls, though it’s nothing like the sort of sound Steve could put out, if he wanted to. “I never wanted this. I never wanted you!” Steve is coming closer, backing him up against the wall and holding him in place with his stare and his pure physicality, their chests only inches apart. Bucky gulps at the proximity and the scent of him. Steve smells …

“You want boundaries?” he says. “You’ll get them.”

Overcome by the unnerving urge to bare his neck to his Alpha, Bucky swallows heavily and forces himself not to. “You gonna hit me?” he asks, genuinely worried that Steve might do it. He certainly looks displeased enough.

For a second, Steve’s eyes go soft, but then they harden again. “You seem to think you can keep asking that, then provoking me, then asking again, and it’ll never happen.” He tips his head down to Bucky's level, leaning in closer—close enough that Bucky would think he was going to kiss him, if they weren’t in their present situation. “What do you think I should do to you, hm? You think I should spank you? Put you over my knee?”

Bucky gulps and shakes his head the barest bit. “No.”

Steve’s eyebrows draw together, mocking him with a sympathetic pout. “No? Hm. Over the bed then? I think that’s how my mother did it with my fathers. Or maybe with your palms against the wall. Or wait, I know; I’ll have you bend right in half and grab your ankles. That’s the most humiliating position of all, isn’t it? Maybe that’s what it’ll take with you. I've been spending all this time trying to be lenient, trying to be your friend. But maybe that’s not what you need.”

Bucky whimpers, overwhelmed by this new side of Steve he’s seeing. “S-steve,”

“Maybe you just need to be put in your place.” Steve physically presses him against the wall, crowding him until their chests are touching and he’s putting his lips to Bucky’s ear to whisper, “You think I don’t know how to assert myself in this marriage, Bucky? Well try me. I didn’t put the capital H in Headship, but we both know it’s there. And I wasn’t raised to neglect my Spouse.” He steps back, giving back those few inches of space, though it hardly makes a difference for how stuck in place Bucky feels. “I’ll discipline you when I feel it’s needed.”

“Now?!”

He shakes his head. “Tonight was your last freebie.”

Bucky is left gaping, unable to untangle his cowed thoughts from his outraged ones. He’s drunk, so he settles on growling and jerking away from Steve, headed to the bathroom to get away from him. “I hate you!” he snaps, not clever enough to come up with anything more creative to say.

Steve doesn’t reply or follow after him, thank goodness.

Bucky runs himself a bath just so that he can have time to himself. But eventually the bathwater gets cold, and he's forced to concede that his reprieve is over.

He pulls the plug from the drain and dries off using one of the big fluffy towels. Steve’s London apartment really is very luxurious, but he doesn’t have time to appreciate the fine crystal fixtures or the smooth marble floors. He knows he has to go back out to the bedroom and face his husband now, and he so doesn’t want to.

When he gets out there, Steve is sitting up against the headboard, legs under the covers and changed into his night clothes. He’s holding a book, the bedside lamp’s gas flame just barely illuminating the darkness. “Hey,” he says, marking his place in the book and setting it aside. He pats the bed next to him. “Come on over here.”

Bucky frowns, feeling vulnerable with his hair wet and nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. He goes over to the vacant side of the bed. “... You want me to sleep in here?” he asks, audibly unsure. He’d been expecting Steve to tell him to sleep in another of the bedrooms.

“I don’t subscribe to the notion of kicking Spouses out of bed for misbehavior,” Steve says. He nods for Bucky to lie down. “Come here.”

Bucky bites his lip, eyes roving over to where his own nightclothes are stored in the dresser …

“You don’t need them,” Steve says, bringing Bucky’s attention back. He nods at the towel. “You’ve been so eager to drop your clothing all night. You can stay naked.”

That makes Bucky’s guts twist with dread—and okay, maybe the barest twinge of arousal. The dread far outweighs it, though. He hesitates, but eventually listens, dropping the towel and climbing under the covers quickly. He doesn’t want to be naked in front of Steve. “Don’t touch me,” he says when he’s laid down and Steve is moving closer.

Steve pauses, body going stiff where he’d been about to pull Bucky into his arms. "What?"

“I don’t want to have sex,” Bucky mumbles, not quite able to meet his eyes. “Please don’t make me.”

Steve’s scent sours even worse than when he was angry and had Bucky pinned against the wall. It’s a long moment before he speaks, and when he does, his voice is quiet but firm: “I will never force you to have sex with me, Bucky. Do you understand that?” Bucky keeps his eyes down and nods, but Steve doesn’t accept that. “Look at me.”

Bucky inhales at the use of Steve’s Voice. He meets his eyes … and is surprised to see that Steve doesn’t look mad. He does look like he’s waiting for Bucky to listen to something important, though. “What?” Bucky snaps self-consciously.

“I know what I said about being your Headship, Buck. And I meant it. But I promise you: I won’t ever make you do anything sexual that you don’t want.”

He squirms, embarrassed even though he’s glad to hear Steve say this. “Don’t see why not,” he mumbles. “It’s your ‘right’ just like everything else. You’re the Headship, and I’m just the beta Second you pity-married.”

Steve can obviously hear all of the quiet scorn in that, but he doesn’t take the bait. He stares at him for a long moment, his unhappy gaze boring into Bucky from across the bed. “Go to sleep, Buck,” he finally says, sounding sad. “Trust me: I have zero interest in touching you that way tonight. I was just going to hold you while we fall asleep.”

“Sure. Whatever.”

“… And you only ever have to say ‘no’ to me, if you don’t want it,” he adds. His scent has turned to something kind of … hollow and forlorn. Bucky doesn’t like it. “Go to sleep,” he says again, then reaches over to turn down the lamp.

They’re left in darkness illuminated only by the faint speck of the lamp's pilot light. Bucky feels the motions as Steve shuffles and lays down on the mattress, firmly on his side of the bed. Bucky lies down too, tucking into himself and scrubbing his cheek into the pillow, facing away from Steve.

He winds up feeling cold and alone, and wishing he’d allowed his alpha to hold him after all.

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mr2swap · 2 years

Text

After Christmas: 1

“Damn it, I can't take this one more day!” My father promised me that this would end today, that we would return to our original bodies, and we would never talk about everything that happened this winter vacation.

He has been putting off reversing the spell he “accidentally” cast on us so I can enjoy my youth for a couple of days. When mom left us my father looked so pathetic and sad, I thought that if I let him use my body for a day or two after Christmas it would be the most generous of me and the truth is I can fully understand why he did it ... his life is shit!

He was never able to finish high school for being an idiot, so all he could get was a 10-hour job as a low paid builder. Every day I wake up at morning, so I can start the day with 3 cups of coffee without sugar because “my” doctor told me that I had to watch my diet, some tasteless eggs and a couple of painkillers to be able to bear leaving the home without having to complain all day that I spend working under the sun.

At first, it was not so bad it was great to wake up in my father's room in his taller, stronger and older body, everything looked smaller especially my father who was now in my slim body of a 14-year-old boy, maybe it was the adrenaline rush and excitement that made me completely ignore the pain in my back and not have had a drop of coffee all day.

After confronting him and admitting that he was the cause that one day to the next he will wake up like a 48-year-old man we reached an agreement, we would return to our bodies once Christmas passed, I must admit that going out to do the shopping For Christmas dinner with my dad it was a lot of fun, we talked all day about everything I would have to do in his body, he even taught me how to drive, and he let me drink my first beer when we got home, I felt funny after empty a couple of cans, and it all seemed incredibly light especially with how big my arms are now.

But all the fun ended the next day, on Christmas Day as soon as I woke up again in this body you can understand why my father told me not to get too excited about drinking beer, I even think I was still a little drunk after drinking so much last night My head hurt like hell and the rest of my body didn't feel better, and I think for the first time I could understand why my father used to take those pills every day with his coffee.

While I was trying to go down the stairs carefully to have a lot of coffee that I now needed my father was already at the foot of the tree unwrapping the gifts that he had personally wrapped a couple of days before, when I realized what it was not I could believe it—DID YOU BUY ME A PS5?! — I quickly helped him connect it while he was just as excited as I was to play however I could see that there was only one control and after a short fight I decided I was too tired and screwed up to spend it all The day I was arguing over who would take the first turn playing and my head was killing me, I decided that I would play the next day once I returned to my young 14-year-old body.

However, the days have passed, and my father still does not break the spell, making excuses after excuses, and he doesn't even make an effort to lie to me during breakfast today. He told me, “have you started with that again? It starts to be annoying to hear you say the same thing every morning, “IT'S A SON OF A BITCH! Right now he must be on my first day of class pretending to be me and talking to my friends while I'm covered in sweat and dust, killing me at his shitty job.

I am doubting if one day I will recover my body, I have to find the spell that my father used to steal my life and be 14 years old again! … well I will do it tomorrow today Robert, a friend of my father from work invited me to drink a couple of beers on the way out of work, he said we had a lot of fun and was really pushy. I suppose there are good things about being an adult.

Hello! Happy New Year, this is the first story here on Tumblr, the second part and a short epilogue are on my patreon.

You can also join my discord server if you want to know the latest news of my stories or chat with me, Tumblr has me blocked or something and I can't receive messages, so discord is the only way to talk to me lol

#bodyswap #body switch #body swap #male body swap

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lnnlove · 2 years

Text

leather and lace | e.m.

eddie munson x fem reader

summary: your band plays at the hideout on thursdays and you've always competed with eddie munson. when you realize your actual feelings towards him, you start sending messages in the songs you choose to sing and eddie notices. a (fr)enemies to lovers with mutual pining story where the upside down is never mentioned and the only conflict is the one that these two idiots in love create on their own.

word count: 10k

warnings: slight asshole!eddie, general angst, cussing, marijuana use, drinking, reader uses fem pronouns, mentions of harassment, beginnings of smut, if I missed any please let me know!

author's note(s): I did not fact check if all of the songs mentioned were released at the time this would be taking place (I feel like this is '87 or '88 and our boy got to graduate), please don't hate me! this is basically an open love letter to miley cyrus's version of heart of glass (when they sing heart of glass in the story, imagine this version) which obviously was not around then so if you can't ignore a few inaccuracies, don't read. also, i've just decided the fourth member of corroded coffin is named kevin instead "unnamed freak" or "freak 1" as he is referred to on wiki and imdb (😭).

here, have an accompanying playlist bc I love you <3

The Queens of Noise were what you sentimentally named your band after winning the middle school talent show when you sang the song of the same name by The Runaways with your four best friends.

"It's easy to sing the same words over and over again," Eddie Munson said to you backstage after the awards. "You just sang to the recorded song, you didn't even play your own instruments." That was the first thing the older boy ever said to you.

"Whatever Eddie. You're just jealous that we won," you replied to him with squinted eyes and a look that said eat shit Eddie Munson.

"First place doesn't prove anything except that the teachers like you better than us. It doesn't mean you actually have any talent," Eddie sneered, "come on guys, let's go."

Eddie brushed past you to leave the auditorium, jutting his shoulder into yours harshly as he walked past with his band Corroded Coffin following closely behind him, but Gareth actually smiled sweetly at you and your friends and Jeff quietly congratulated his sister standing behind you.

Ever since that day, everything you do is to prove Eddie Munson wrong.

Eddie said it wasn't impressive if you weren't playing your own instruments, so you learned guitar. Sarah switched to keyboard from piano lessons. Jess took up drums and Heather decided on bass. Tiffany (or Tiff as she preferred) got her brother Jeff to teach her guitar and she turned out to be better than you so you became the lead singer. The girls all help you on backup vocals and sometimes Sarah takes the verses of songs that require a more soprano voice, just like Stevie Nicks and Christine McVie the two of you like to joke with each other.

By the end of your freshman year in high school, you and your girls had solidified yourselves as the Queens of Noise and were practicing every other day in Heather's garage (much to her parents' dismay). You all decided to enter the talent show again next year.

You thought Eddie might finally see your group as a proper band according to his standards since your friends would be playing the music for One Way or Another by Blondie while you sang. But all he said to you after the show was "Easy for you to get all the attention when they're stuck with all the hard work," motioning to your friends behind you before brushing passed you to the other guys.

So you decided you could start playing the second guitar part under Tiff on some of your songs.

After you played on stage for the county fair in 1985, The Hawkins Post wanted to write a story about the band. You found out at the after party Tiff was having, so of course naturally Eddie was there with Jeff and the other boys too.

"Remember us when you're famous," Gareth joked and the other boys congratulated you in some way, but Eddie's competitive nature compelled him to say "Of course they want to write about it, all you know how to play is the hippie shit everyone loves."

"Don't talk about Fleetwood Mac like that man," Kevin retorted in your defense.

You dismissed his comment, but decided you could start training your voice to sing more like Joan Jett and Cherie Currie anyway. It had always been obvious to your friends why you made the decisions you did, but they knew better than to bring it up.

You thought he might finally be impressed during your senior year when the Queens of Noise started playing at the Hideout on Thursday nights and you consistently had a bigger crowd than Corroded Coffin did on Tuesdays.

"No surprise that the drunks of Hawkins would rather watch a bunch of girls on stage than listen to real music," Eddie claimed.

He loved to taunt you over the songs you chose to play, insisting that his metalhead preferences were better than the covers you did of Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, The Runaways, Pat Benatar and Blondie.

Although you and Eddie would never call each other a "friend," you were nearly always around each other. You even had to endure two extra years of high school with him because he refused to apply himself to academics. Your bandmates had gotten close over the years, bonding naturally over shared interests and participating in healthy competition any opportunity you got. Eddie had a good relationship with all the girls except you, who appeared to be a perpetual thorn in his side. It was fine because he was the exact same to you.

The other members of your bands could still give their all to the band while supporting and cheering for the other but you and Eddie, both as stubborn as you are, could almost never put the aggression of competition aside.

Jeff and Tiff were close as siblings, Sarah and Gareth finally took their flirtation and secret hookups to the next step and told everyone they were dating in '86, and even Heather, Jess and Kevin were close because they lived in the same neighborhood. All of that was great, except that it meant you had to run in to Eddie all the time at parties, movies, or the other's shows.

"For someone who doesn't like me, it seems like you're one of our biggest fans," he'd mock you when they got off stage.

"I just came to keep Sarah company asshole," you respond with rolled eyes.

"Whatever you say Y/N," he'd joke as he walked away from you.

It seemed like you'd had a version of that conversation after every show you went to.

Just like going to their nights at the Hideout, you'd been roped in to many movie nights at Jeff and Tiff's house before, and stopped being surprised when often times Eddie would join as well. It typically ended with you two in some type of disagreement about the movie being good or not, since Eddie considered himself such a movie critic.

It wasn't always that bad though. Eddie is the type of guy who always noticed when your drink was empty and was quick to get you another. He'd stepped in several times to say "Hey man, she said she's not interested," when drunk assholes harassed one of you at the bar or parties. You noticed he would always seem to stick close by after something like that happened.

"A tad flat tonight babe," Eddie announced to you after forcing the heavy back door of the bar open to join you in the alley after a show one night.

"Not right now Eddie, I'm not in the mood," you attempted to brush him off.

"What's wrong, can't take a little constructive criticism?" he taunted.

You scoffed and turned your back to him, hoping he'd take the hint and leave you alone. But Eddie is not very good at leaving you alone.

He circled around to face you, dropping his head to meet your eyes when he noticed the smudged mascara under your lashes and clear glassiness in your eyes.

"Whoa whoa, what happened?" he said, bringing a hand to your shoulder. But you look away from him, unable to meet the concerned expression on his face.

When you don't answer, he jumped to conclusions.

"Did some asshole say something to you?" he questioned you, "other than me?"

How is it that he can make you laugh at a time like this? As small and delicate as your little laugh was, it shot something much stronger to Eddie's core.

All you could do was nod, feeling silly in his presence for letting something like that get to you. You noticed Eddie's jaw clench when he raised his head and turned it to look behind you toward the door.

"What guy? What's he wearing?" Eddie asked.

You didn't want to answer. You didn't want him to do something irrational or even get hurt because of you.

"No Eddie," you whispered.

"Tell me Y/N," he demanded.

"Okay, he's sitting at the end of the bar wearing a white collared shirt."

You'd barely finished before Eddie tore off in the direction of the bar. You stayed out there another minute or two collecting yourself and wiping your eyes clean of makeup.

To this day you're not certain what happened. But when you got back to the group, the guy at the end of the bar was gone, Eddie had a bag of ice from the bartender on his right hand, and your friends didn't say a word about it.

He punched a guy out once when he came on too strong to Jess after a gig and now you know he'd done the same for you even though the two of you barely ever saw eye to eye.

You found yourself in the smoke circle with Eddie at every party and he'd always let you take the first hit of a bowl. He'd let you bum a cigarette behind the bar or outside of school any time you asked and would light it for you sometimes even though you never once asked him to do that. The groups would get together to go to movies and concerts sometimes, all piling in to Eddie's van and carpooling to the city.

"Ah ah ah, what's she doing here?" Eddie asked, eyes darting to you. He can't resist an opportunity to torment you.

"Come on Eddie, you know Y/N's part of the group just as much as we are," Jess defends.

"I'm the one who told you all about this concert in the first place, Munson!" you argue.

"Can't you two please behave just for one night?" Gareth asks from his spot behind Sarah, head hanging over her shoulder. She nods in agreement.

You and Eddie hold eye contact for a few moments, considering all of your options.

"I will if he does," you bite as everyone begins to pile into the van.

The groups' eyes trail to where Eddie towers over you, watching from their seats in the back of the van.

"Fine," he answers, "after you," motioning for you to take a seat inside so he can close the back door. You move to climb in and can't help but gasp silently when you feel his hand under yours gently squeeze to help lift you into the van. But when you look back to him once you're seated, he's already slamming the door shut and turning his back to you to walk around to the driver's seat.

He left you alone the rest of the night, but there were a couple of times you shared quick glances from where you danced with the girls and he was standing behind the group nodding along to the music. You almost thought you could even make out a smile on his lips. But that was wiped from your memory the second he looked away from you and back to the stage.

Sometimes you could swear you caught him looking at you across the room with a look that wasn't hateful. Sometimes he even did things that sent a jolt of warmth to your stomach. But that was quickly diminished every time when Eddie would return his attention to another girl or say something that reminded you of his disdain for you. You tried so hard to ignore the pangs of jealousy when you saw him with someone under his arm or the flutters in your stomach when he held eye contact with you. All of it just added to your confusion and the frustration you felt towards him grew with every broken gaze.

✽✧✽✧✽✧✽

That brings you to tonight, Thursday at The Hideout. It's 7:45 and you're getting ready for your weekly show at 8:00. The stage is all set and you're backstage with your girls, putting final touches on makeup and warming up for the performance.

"Shit," you hear Tiff utter under her breath after a snap echoes through the small green room.

"What's wrong Tiff?" Heather asks from her place on the couch.

"My string broke," she announces, stress lacing her voice.

"Shit," the other girls repeat.

"I don't have any extras," Tiff says anxiously.

"Okay, okay, don't panic. I'll be right back," you announce on your way out of the door. You know Eddie's here and maybe he has some extras. You'll just be a little late on stage.

You make your way from the green room behind the stage, into the office and then out to the bar where Eddie is occupying a seat talking to the bartender.

"Eddie," you call out nervously as you approach him.

"Y/N," he returns tensely.

"Do you have any extra guitar strings with you?"

"Other than the ones that are strung to my electric, no. Sorry sweetheart."

"Fuck," you mutter under your breath, secretly shuttering at the nickname but turning away from him and leaning your elbows on the bar, attempting to come up with another solution.

Eddie eyes your slumped figure and brows that are furrowed in contemplation.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"Tiff's string broke and we're obviously supposed to be playing in a few," you motion to the stage.

"Ah, that is quite the pickle you're in," he teases you, his mind calculating what you'll ask him next.

You think of something and sigh, closing your eyes and bracing yourself for what you're about to ask.

"Eddie...." you begin.

"Yes dear?" he mocks.

"Can we borrow your electric guitar? Pretty please," you utter with monotone.

Eddie exhales, puffing his lips and eyeing you sarcastically.

"That's a pretty big favor to ask without a cherry on top," he jokes. "Ask me again like you mean it." He says with squinted eyes examining you. He loves having power over you, there's no way he'll relent this easy. He'll make you beg a little first because he's reveling in the pouty expression on your face right now.

"Eddie please," you swallow your pride and begin, "if you care about me in any way at all, can I pretty please with a cherry on top borrow your guitar that I know is in the back of your van right now anyway?"

He fake considers for a moment, prolonging your torture.

“And what makes you think I care about you?” he asks, seriously.

“You're right, nothing. I wouldn't dream of you having any type goodwill towards me," he smiles at your response, quite satisfied with it. "But if you like me even just a little. I mean, not like me. but if you think I deserve any amount of kindness - "

"What'll you give me if I do?" he interrupts.

"Anything!" you shout impulsively, "Anything you want." You regret that instantly while considering all of the things he could ask of you.

"Jesus Christ babe, yes if you're that desperate, you can borrow my guitar."

You sigh, relieved, trying to ignore the twisting feeling the pet name causes inside you. Eddie stands from his seat and moves past you to the door to go retrieve the guitar from his van.

You stand, slightly in place as you awe at the fact that you just successfully asked Eddie Munson for a favor, and he said yes.

"You okay in there there?" he asks from his place a few feet away from you, interrupting your thought and grabbing your attention with a small wave in front of your face.

"Yes, Munson, I'm fine," snapping back to your normal self and rolling your eyes at him.

Eddie smirks, he secretly loves when you call him that.

“Good. For a second there I thought you might be in love with me or something," he jokes before turning around to make his way out of the door.

You curse yourself for not being able to think of a witty response and wait by the bar for the few minutes it takes him to return.

He hands you the guitar. "If you return her with even a scratch - "

"I know I know, you'll have my head," you interrupt jokingly, as you grab the instrument from him and turn hurriedly to leave for the girls backstage, not thinking of the many ways he could interpret that.

You return his guitar the same night with no mention of what he wants for his payment. He'd briefly considered asking for a kiss just to torture you, but quickly decided against that thinking it would be too much like the creeps who hit on you girls at the bar all the time. Eddie was not actually interested in coercing you into anything.

So Eddie decided to drop it, not wanting to hold anything over your head or make you feel like you owe him anything.

But a few days later, he opened his van door to find the new Dio and Judas Priest tapes he'd been wanting from the music store but hadn't bought yet with a note that simply said "thank you," in your scribbly writing that he recognized from class. You'd noticed him eyeing those tapes during your shift at the store and thought two tapes with your employee discount was the least you could do to thank him for saving your show.

Eddie smiles to himself at the thought of you doing something nice for him, even going as far as breaking in to his van to keep it a surprise. He chuckles to himself, thinking how out of character it was for you to do something sweet for him. Maybe, he thought, she feels the same. But he dismisses the thought as soon as it enters his mind. No, we're just even now. Nothing's changed, returning to his normal train of thought and strengthening his resolve to continue treating you as he always has.

Neither one of you ever bring it up again, but you have hope that maybe things are different between you now.

✽✧✽✧✽✧✽

The following Saturday was special because the band that was scheduled to play at The Hideout canceled and Sarah and Gareth convinced the owner to let Corroded Coffin and The Queens of Noise play back to back to fill in.

It was a big deal for both groups. You'd been playing Tuesdays and Thursdays for years, but a Saturday is different. Saturdays are for big groups, sometimes even from other cities. There's always a bigger crowd and one of the bands who used to play on Saturdays at The Hideout are on a small nationwide tour now.

Best of all, you'd be able to be there for each other's big moments front and center on the floor while the other group played on stage.

You and the girls practiced every day after work in preparation and even agreed to skip work the Friday before to finalize the details and make sure everything was clean and perfect. You all agreed on your strongest songs and put together a set you were really proud of. You were even going to debut a Blondie song that you've put your own spin on to see how the crowd likes it.

On Saturday, you and the others all arrived in the afternoon to begin setting up and warming up. You shared the green room backstage and it felt like any other night you all got together at Jeff and Tiff's. Gareth and Sarah were draped over each other on the couch, Jeff was playing some card game with Kevin and Heather, Tiff was tuning her guitar in the corner with Eddie who was strumming along to something, and you were sat at the vanity with Jess, sharing a joint for your nerves and deciding when to start your makeup and hair.

"Let me get a hit of that please," Tiff requests and so you bring the joint to her in the corner, holding it to her lips. After she takes a drag, you offer it to Eddie and he accepts quietly with a raise of his eyebrows. You let him keep it because you figure he'll want more than just on hit.

The boys were scheduled to start at 8:00 and then you would follow them at 9:00.

It was 7:00 when you broke the silent calm that had fallen over the room.

"Shouldn't we do a toast or something?" you suggest, "I mean this is kind of a huge fucking deal." You can't help the nervous laugh that falls from your lips after the realization hits you.

"We should," Jeff agrees, "we're playing a FUCKING SATURDAY SHOW!"

The group erupts in shouts, hollering cheers and praise for the situation you've found yourselves in.

"Okay then let's circle up," Sarah says as she jumps off the couch, pulling her arms around the two standing closest to her.

The nine of you circle up in the middle of the room, wrapping arms around each other and huddling together. Eddie stands across from you, gazing down at your excitement as he pops the cork out of the complimentary bottle of champagne left for your group and spraying the foam over all of you in the center of the circle.

"We all drink," he declares, pulling the bottle to his lips and taking a long pull of the lukewarm wine before dropping his head back down and returning his gaze to you.

He extends his arm, handing you the bottle. You accept it with an appreciative smile and take your pull.

"To...." Eddie begins, unsure of how to make a toast. "To us!" he shouts when you take your drink.

"To us!" the others chant in chorus.

"To us," you say when you finish your sip and pass the bottle to Gareth on your right.

Everyone passed the the bottle until it was empty, and then it was time for the boys to go on stage.

While the boys played, you and the girls were front and center to the stage moving to the music with each other and getting the crowd excited. You usually sang along but tonight you were trying to resist the urge so you could save your voice. Their music buzzed through the amps and speakers plugged in around them, vibrating in your chest. You danced and swayed with your friends to get yourself warmed up for your show.

The stage at The Hideout is just a platform that's elevated about three feet. If you're standing at the front of the crowd, you're still close enough in height to whoever's on stage that you can interact, something you've taken advantage of many times in the past while on stage and in the crowd.

From your angle below, the boys were backlit by the stage lights and covered in a warm halo that illuminated their forms. You couldn't deny how beautiful Eddie looked on stage. A natural performer, a personality that shined up there. You secretly ached at the thought that he seemed sweet and flirty with everyone but you.

The boys were great during their set. Of course they always were. But you enjoyed tonight more than any other night because it felt like they all were glad that you were there. There was such little animosity coming from Eddie that you almost thought he wanted you to be there instead of just accepting your presence. You even caught his glance a few times from your place below them.

During their last song, you had to leave the crowd and get backstage to take their place, but you were able to see the last song from the side stage. Gareth and Jess and agreed to use the same drum set, so all you had to do was walk out with your instruments, get Sarah's keyboard, and adjust the mics to be ready.

Suddenly you were wracked with nerves.

After their last song, you all cheered and whistled at the top of your lungs from the side stage so they could hear you over the rest of the crowd. You saw Gareth blow a kiss to Sarah and a blush creep up Kevin's neck.

"Thank you," you hear Eddie on the mic. "We are Corroded Coffin." Another cheer from the crowd. "Now please welcome our Queens of Noise."

Our Queens of Noise.

The possession in Eddie's words rung in your ears and froze you in place.

The boys were approaching you as they exited the stage. Kevin patted Heather's back in encouragement, Jeff hugged Tiff off the ground and told her to get out there, Gareth did his handshake with Jess before twirling Sarah off the ground and setting her down with a kiss.

Eddie spun Heather around and then moved toward you. He was glistening with a thin layer of sweat and his smile was contagious. His chest was heaving with breath and his delicious musky smell surrounded you as he casually enveloped your head in one of his arms and whispered "your turn" against the top of your head. Then you felt him release your head and his other hand on the small of your back nudged you forward. He was so relaxed, as if this was not the first time he's ever embraced you.

Yeah, things were definitely different now.

You took a step forward and shook off the surprise that had overcome you.

You were on fire during your set. You could feel your diaphragm tighten in your stomach as your sang deep, bellowing notes. In between your verses or the chorus, you'd dance back to back with Heather or Tiff, twirl and sway in the middle of the stage, shimmy to Jess in the back on drums and blow kisses to Sarah at her place on keys. Your stage presence was something you were proud of.

You noticed the boys squeeze their way to the front of the stage with their drinks during the third song, all nodding along and praising you all in their own boyish way. You think this is probably the closest Eddie's ever watched one of your gigs, and try to act unfazed by his closeness.

The last song of the set was your new one. You'd only sang it in rehearsal. Never in front of a crowd and never in front of Eddie.

You took a few deep steadying breaths before nodding at Tiff to begin her riff. You nodded along to the beat from her, Heather and Jess, closed your eyes and took a breath before singing the first line.

Once had love and it was a gas. It soon turned out, I had a heart of glass.

The crowd responded well, singing along and screaming for you.

You heard a loud whoop from Jeff with hands cuffed around his mouth and even a shout from Eddie.

During the break when Sarah took over with a keyboard solo, you take a moment to breathe and dance to the music from your friends around you. Below you, the boys were passing out shots and you notice Eddie raising one above his head, intended for you.

You squat to his level to accept it, offering him a quick clink as a cheers before standing, knocking back the shot, and jumping back in for the rest of the song.

Eddie thinks it might be the hottest thing he's ever seen. He swallows a gulp that rose in his chest and exhales deeply.

The crowd erupts into a chorus of cheers and praise on your last note and you inhale sharply to regain your breath. You smile into the mic and say thank you to the people in front of you. You gather with the other girls in the middle of the stage and bow while they cheer for you before turning to exit the stage.

Eddie calls your name from where he's standing by the corner of the stage as you walked down the stairs on the side.

You walk over to him, your heart pounding from the adrenaline in your system from the show and also from the look Eddie was giving you. He looked so good standing there with the stage light behind him and rush from their set still evident in his eyes. Maybe this is it, you think.

He exhales as you approach him like he had been holding his breath.

"That was great," he admits, his eyes taking in your chest rising and falling with heavy breaths and your post-stage glow.

"Yeah right Eddie," you scoff, rolling your eyes and turning away from him towards the bar. You're so used to his insults that you can't even register him being sincere.

He catches your wrist and spins you back toward him. You collide with him, bringing your free hand to his chest to steady yourself and look down to where he is holding your wrist between your bodies.

"I'm serious," he breathes, eyes trained down at where you stand pressed against him.

He towers over you with a look in his eyes that you don't recognize. Your breath hitches in your throat and you can't think of what to say.

"You were amazing up there tonight," he continues, "I couldn't take my eyes off of you."

Your lips part at his words and your insides twist. Every thought has left your brain as you stare up at him. His eyes are so inviting that it makes you forget all the things you'd planned to say to him for years when he finally admitted that you impressed him. Your gaze falls to his lips just for a second and you allow yourself a selfish moment to indulge as you imagine what he would taste like if you leaned in and just kissed him right now.

Your fallen eyes don't go unnoticed by Eddie.

Eddie begins to dip his lower to you when you're interrupted.

"Y/N, come on, the boys are buying us a round," Sarah says from behind you before crashing clumsily into your back, placing her arms on your waist and peeking around your shoulder to kiss your cheek, completely missing Eddie's expression and the moment that was unfolding in front of her.

She pulls you back and your wrist is freed from Eddie's grasp but you don't break your eye contact with him until she spins you around to face Heather, Tiff, and Jess who came along to collect you.

"What was that about?" Heather whispers in your ear as you're pulled into the group's embrace.

"I don't know," you whisper in response. But you think you might.

"He looked like he was going to eat you up," Tiff jokes, well aware of the implications in her tone.

You secretly wished he would. But you swallowed that feeling into your stomach, convincing yourself that there was no way he felt that way about you.

The girls giggle around you as they make their way to the bar to celebrate. You accepted drink after drink handed to you that night, but you weren't able to fully celebrate. Not when Eddie didn't follow you back to the group. Not when Eddie had looked at you that way. Not when you weren't sure what you were feeling in your stomach. Not when you could be putting yourself in the most vulnerable place you've been in in years. And especially not when you could be exposing yourself to someone who you're certain couldn't return the feelings you're having.

You didn't see much of Eddie after that Saturday at The Hideout. You went to your job at the music store every day thinking he may turn up, but he never did. He gave you the cold shoulder on his way out of the door when you tried to say something to him at their show on Tuesday and he wasn't at yours that Thursday. Avoiding you, you thought to yourself and tried to swallow the feeling that it elicited from your gut. Of course he was. How could you have been so stupid to hope something was there?

What you didn't know is that Eddie was hiding from you, worried that he'd revealed too much to you that night at The Hideout. Part of him wanted to reveal more to you. But he wasn't even sure himself what he felt for you. So until he figured it out, he was doing the safe thing and staying away from you. Except this coming Thursday because he agreed to cover for the bartender at the bar, so there's no way he could skip your show.

✽✧✽✧✽✧✽

You went back and forth between being certain the way he'd looked at you after the show was out of desire and thinking the way he was holding your wrist firmly was out of hating having to admit that you put on a good show. But either way, the taste you'd had having of him close to you was not enough.

So when Sarah told you at Sunday's practice in Heather's garage that the boys would definitely be at your show on Thursday, you couldn't help but ask "all of them?" sheepishly.

"I think so, why?" she asks, giving you a probing smile with raised eyebrows.

"No reason," you shrug off. "Think you ladies would be up to learning a new song for Thursday?"

They agree, exchanging knowing glances to each other as they took their places.

On Thursday, you arrived through the back of the bar so you didn't see Eddie until you were on stage. You could feel his eyes on you from his spot behind the bar but you refused to lift your gaze to him. He'd been giving you the cold shoulder for over a week and two could play at that game. Besides, your song choices for the night were bold and you thought you might chicken out if you saw anything in his eyes that changed your mind.

You sang I Hate Myself for Loving You and it meant more to you tonight than it ever had before. Your past relationships and meaningless hookups never once crossed your mind when that song came on, but one stupid tall metalhead with stupid brown button eyes and stupid long hair that you want to run your fingers through flashes through your mind every time you've heard it for weeks now.

Jess started playing the beat for your last song and you took a deep breath as you closed your eyes and felt the music surround you. Tiff came in on guitar while Heather and Sarah kept a steady bass line that you're certain was the only thing keeping your heartbeat regular.

We've been here too long, tryin' to get along. Pretending that you're oh so shy, you begin to sing.

You glanced at Eddie behind the bar who was watching you. You wondered if he recognized it yet and if his heart was racing like yours was at the sight of him.

Do you wanna touch, Do you wanna touch, Do you wanna touch me there? Where? There. Yeah! Yeah, oh yeah.

You have to hold the mic with both hands and screw your eyes shut to will yourself to finish the song without looking in Eddie's direction again. When you were done, you said "that's all for tonight, thank you" to your crowd and you quickly exited the stage.

While the other girls went the bar immediately for the post-show shot tradition, you took the opportunity to sneak out back for a quick cigarette, desperate for a moment alone to catch your breath before facing Eddie.

But of course he doesn't allow you that favor.

Eddie watched your attempt at a sneaky escape and followed you out after pouring the other girls their shots on the house and making sure there was no one else at the bar for drinks.

You were standing to the right of the door with your back to the wall when he came out, you had a joint hanging loosely from your lips while you clumsily searched in your pockets for a lighter. You'd realized in seconds that you didn't have one, but you were still using that as your excuse not to look up at him.

Eddie reached his arm to you with his lit zippo, raising it to your lips. You leaned in with your hands cupping the end of the joint, allowing the flame to light it and take a deep hit immediately.

You finally lift your eyes to meet Eddie's. He's staring hot daggers in to you. You swallow the feeling growing in your throat, becoming acutely aware that neither of you have said anything yet.

"You sing that just for me?" Eddie asks, taking a dangerous step closer to you.

"What?"

Eddie tilts his head in frustration, squinting his eyes at you. Annoyed, he snatches the joint from in between your lips and tosses it to the ground, ashing it with his toe. He can't believe the capacity you have to bother him.

"You heard me," he says, bending at his hips so he's eye to eye with you, lifting his hands to either side of your face and caging you into the wall.

Your breath hitches in your throat. Your insides twist into a knot and your legs feel like they're melting. He hovers above you, your lips only parted by a few inches. His face is tilted towards you and he's drinking you in, reveling in the way your eyes fluttered shut and your chest began to heave.

"I," you whisper unsurely. "Yes, I did."

"And yes I do," Eddie breathes before moving forward, admitting the answer to the question you were asking with your song and crashing into your lips.

He brings his left hand to cradle your cheek and uses his right to grab your waist and pin you to the wall. You ball his shirt in your fists to pull him flush against you before reaching your arms to rest on his shoulders and wrap around him, sending one hand to the nape of his neck and feeling his hair between your fingers.

"God, I hate you," you whimper as Eddie breaks from your lips to suck sloppy kisses into your neck.

"No you don't," he murmurs with confidence just below your ear before returning to your lips.

"No I don't," you repeat into his lips.

You part your lips for him, allowing Eddie to slip his tongue inside. "You drive me fucking crazy Y/N," he utters into your mouth and you mewl in response.

His tongue moves smoothly with yours and he tastes like the shot of whiskey that he took just before following you out here. He was warm against you, both your chests breathing heavily between you. Eddie trails his hands all over your body in exploration. You wondered if he could feel your heartbeat with how hard it was fluttering against your ribcage.

You realized what you felt pushing against your stomach is his hardened cock swollen against his jeans and you moan into his mouth, clenching your thighs together at the thought of him filling you up and becoming aware of the wetness pooling between your legs.

The noise drives Eddie wild. He reaches down, sweeping his large hand down your waist, over your hip and to the back of your thigh. He grips the dough of your thigh and hikes it up, hooking it around his middle and lining your warm center up with his throbbing erection. You gasp at the sudden friction you didn't realize you were aching for. It's just a taste of what he could give you. You feel his lips pull into a smile against yours, knowing the effect he's having on you. You consider giving in to him, right here.

Your mind races with possibilities.

Have I felt this way all along? Has he?

Is this how it will be from now on? Does he want that too?

What if he doesn't? He definitely doesn't. He doesn't know how much it would mean to you.

What if it's just this one time? You'd never survive that.

"Wait," you say, breaking your kiss and catching your breath. Eddie rests his forehead against yours, ready to jump back in whenever you're ready. "I can't."

"Why not baby?" he whispers against your lips, hot breath fanning over you.

Baby. It sends a fluttering to your stomach. Your heart aches. You want him.

"I'm scared Eddie." Your eyes are closed.

"Scared of me?" He pulls away and straightens in front of you.

"No," you open your eyes to see the pained expression that paints his face. You want to kiss it off. You bring your hand to cup his cheek and he leans in to it. "I'm just really scared of getting hurt," you feebly admit. Eddie is silent for a moment. You pull your hand from his cheek and hug it to your middle. His silence scares you and he stays silent for just a second too long. You turn to the direction of the parking lot and take one step, then another.

"No I would never - " he tries to assure you but he was a second too late. You're already walking away from him.

When Eddie returned inside without you, he was met with the barrage of worried faces of his friends.

"Where's Y/N?" Jess asked, stating the thing that was obviously on everyone's mind from the kissed out look of Eddie's lips that were swollen and stained slightly with the color you'd been wearing.

"She uh..." Eddie trailed off with his face turned to the side, unable to meet the concerned looks in their eyes. "She left."

A choir of questions sprang from their mouths.

"She left?" Heather asked quietly, dread tugging in her stomach knowing something must have happened.

"What did you do to her man?" Jeff asked at the same time.

But Eddie didn't answer. He knocked back a shot from the bar and walked away from the group, the sting of rejection still too fresh inside him to discuss it any further with the group while he was fighting the negative feels rising in his gut.

The group watched as he approached a table of girls across the room, and couldn't help the groans that they sighed out in unison with rolled eyes, realizing how completely unprepared they were for the fallout that was sure to follow Eddie's agonizing attempt to nurse his ego.

You drove home in tears, shaking from the sudden absence of Eddie you felt and sickness churning your stomach as you played the events back in your head. The shock eventually wore off and your tears slowed to a stop, but the nausea remained until you fell asleep that night, unsure if you did the right thing or made the biggest mistake of your life.

✽✧✽✧✽✧✽

You called out of work the next day, allowing yourself one day to wallow in self pity since you were now leaning more towards thinking you made a huge mistake. It seemed like your lips still tingled from the pressure of his kiss, your body felt hollow without his touch and you longed to feel it again. Your heart ached every time your mind betrayed you and flashed the memory of his wounded expression through your mind.

It wasn't until Saturday morning that the girls showed up to your house, forcing themselves in to confront your sullen state. You were asleep when they opened your door.

Heather climbed into bed beside you and mirrored your position on your side, bringing her forehead to yours and tracing a soft finger down your nose to wake you up.

Jess sat at the edge of your bed with a caring hand placed on your exposed calf and Sarah hovered behind her with her head hung over Jess's shoulder.

You took count of your friends as your blurry vision cleared before realizing one was missing, rolling over on your back to see Tiff with her head hung low to meet your eyes and hands on her hip. "Good morning," she greeted briefly, "now spill."

You sat up a scooted closer to Heather, making room for Tiff to slide into bed on your other side. Sarah and Jess sat at the foot of your bed, crossed legged and facing you, both clutching one of your excess pillows for comfort.

It feels like you've been in a variation of this arrangement a hundred times before, either cuddling or being cuddled by your girls while you or the other works out their problem. It feels the same as it has since you were little girls. Like nothing has changed in the decade you've all been taking turns crowding into each others rooms, only this time something has changed. Something huge.

You don't hate Eddie Munson at all. You love him.

You were afraid that he wouldn't feel the same, that he'd only planned to be with you once and things we be the same between you after.

But now you were more afraid of never having him at all.

When the girls left, you decided you'd suppress your fear and just call him. But when you heard to the dial tone for the eighth time, you hung up with a huff and looked up to your ceiling to choke back the tears that threatened to fall.

On Monday, you knew that he'd be at Gareth's for their practice. Sarah gave you the number for his garage phone and when you called, Gareth answered.

"Hello?" Gareth asked on the other end, kindness always evident in his voice.

"Gareth hey, it's Y/N."

"Y/N?" he asked, thoroughly surprised.

"Yeah," you said with your eyes screwed shut, "listen, is Eddie there?"

"Eddie?" Gareth asks, and you can hear him shift on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah," you say, embarrassed while you wait.

You hear unclear whispering in the receiver, mumbling from definitely more than one person.

"Um, sorry Y/N," Gareth returns, his voice dripping with uncertainty, "he's not here."

You gulp down the lump in your throat, knowing there's no way he's not there.

"Okay," you sigh, defeated. "Would you just let him know I called?"

"Yeah, I'll tell him you called."

"Thanks Gareth." And you hang up.

You thought about going to their show Tuesday, but the dread that filled you when the time came was enough to keep you away. If he was avoiding you, you didn't want to make it worse by forcing him to see you. Not yet.

So on the next Saturday when you saw Eddie passing in front of the music store window during your shift to get to Family Video next door, you blinked first to make sure you weren't imaging it. But before you could understand it, your legs seemed to be carrying you towards him while your brain was yelling at you to turn around.

You ran quickly from behind the counter, leaving customers alone in the store and you threw open the door, flying out of it and running after him before he could get inside the other store.

"Eddie!" you shout at his back.

He pauses, shoulders tense in his leather jacket as he stands up straight. He hesitates for a few seconds, making you afraid that he won't turn around at all.

But he does. And the stony look on his face makes you wish he hadn't. His brows are knitted together in a furrow and his lips are pushed together in a tight line.

"What do you want?" Eddie says, so calm that it unnerves you.

When you don't answer right away, he shakes his head slightly and sticks a hand out like you're inconveniencing him.

"Something you want to say?" he asks, his eyes staring at you, annoyed by your silence.

"Yeah, I.." you choke on your words.

"You what Y/N?" Eddie scolds, his eyes squinted at you the way they used to when he looked at you. Before. "Your stash running low? Need to buy an ounce? Someone's instrument is broken and you need to borrow one? Your car's not starting and I need to fix it?" His tone is getting more and more exasperated.

You can't form any words. All you can do is stand there and accept him berating you. His words hurt and your lower lip begins to tremble.

"Because unless it's one of those things, I don't know what you could possibly be talking to me for."

When Eddie finishes, he turns and walks away. You exhale and a tear spills over your eyelashes and down your cheek.

✽✧✽✧✽✧✽

"He hates me," you say on the phone to Sarah when you get back behind the counter at work.

"I don't know, Y/N I think maybe he's just hurt you know?" Sarah attempts to soothe.

You disagree.

"Listen Y/N," you hear Gareth say distantly in the receiver before a shuffle on the other end. "I've known Eddie a long time okay?" His voice becomes more clear. "And he's not very good at this kind of thing. He'd much rather avoid his problems than deal with them and right now that's you."

"Oh thanks a lot Gareth, I feel so much better," you joke.

"Not his problem," he says. "I mean... the problem is he feels rejected, like you don't feel the same about him."

You heart drops.

"What do you mean the same about him?" you scream.

"Shit," Gareth curses under his breath, "I've said too much."

"You're gonna have to say a little more," you threaten.

"Well, we all know it, Y/N" Gareth explains, "he's always teased you and stuff because he loves to get a rise out of you. I can tell he has feelings for you. The whole hating you thing was always an act because he got off on the wrong foot when we were kids and he kept it up because didn't know what else to do."

You can't believe what you're hearing. His words ring in your ears like a squealing amp and your breathing picks up.

"Oh my god," you whisper, dropping the phone while you try to grasp what Gareth has just told you.

"Gareth, why the hell have you never told me that?" you faintly hear Sarah reprimand him on the other end of the phone.

"Um, okay okay," you catch back up, "Gareth can you please just make sure he comes to our set on Thursday?"

"I don't know, it'll be really hard to convince him."

"Just do it!" you and Sarah yell in unison before you slam the receiver down.

You know what you have to do. You lost your words when you tried to talk to him so you just have to find someone who's already written the words for you.

✽✧✽✧✽✧✽

When Thursday came, you were hopeful things might work out. You took deep breaths in the mirror as you got dressed for your show at The Hideout. You were sure of your feelings now and you'd make Eddie see, one way or another.

Gareth came to you and Sarah on Monday to say that there was no way in hell he could get Eddie to the entire show on Thursday, so you devised a plan to get him there in time for the last two songs. So you knew you had to make the last two count.

You'd felt like you were floating through the entire day, like a puppet going through the steps of a routine, legs carrying you places without you thinking about it.

So when you found yourself in the green room before your set, the gravity of the situation finally started to set in as time inched closer and closer. Your stomach twisted into knots and your mouth went dry.

The girls noticed the shift in your spirit immediately and came to you with hugs and enough encouragement that your doubt was replaced again and you felt good enough to take the stage.

Your set went by in what felt like just a few minutes. You had your normal crowd at the tables and some in the standing space in front of the stage, including the three attending boys of Corroded Coffin. You silently wished time to slow down, you were so nervous for what was coming. So when you were playing your fifth song, Sarah nodded to Gareth who snuck away to the phone.

He dialed Eddie's number from memory and waited eagerly for an answer.

"Hello?" his friend answered. Gareth let out a sigh of relief.

"Hey man," Gareth began, "Do you think you could come get me and the boys? Jeff's car isn't starting."

"Uh yeah I guess, where are you?" It was a dumb question. He knew where they were.

"The Hideout," Gareth said with eyes closed and teeth gritted in suspense as he waited for Eddie's answer.

"Shit, it's Thursday isn't it?" Eddie cursed into the receiver.

"Yeah man, but they're almost done with the set so you don't have to stay or anything. And we'll wait outside for you," Gareth lied. He was trying to time it perfectly for Eddie to arrive for the last two songs and have to come inside when they weren't waiting outside for him.

"Alright alright, I'm leaving now."

"Thanks man, see you in a few," Gareth silently celebrated in place as he hung up the phone and made his way back to his friends for the last of your set.

It was almost perfect. You looked around the room but didn't see Eddie when Jess tapped the count off for Heaven Is a Place on Earth with her sticks and you had to start singing the first chorus. You try to ignore the worry that he won't come growing inside you and sing the song, closing your eyes for the first verse.

When the night falls down I wait for you, and you come around.

When you finished the first verse, you opened your eyes and see him. He was standing at the very back of the room with his back against the wall. It looked like he had just walked into the door and he wasn't planning on coming any closer. He kept his lips pulled together in a tight line, his head head slouching against the wall and he looked at you through hooded eyes.

You smiled as you continued the song, happy that your plan had worked. You couldn't help yourself and met his gaze as you sang baby, I was afraid before but I'm not afraid anymore, hoping he understood to true meaning behind the lyrics.

When the song ended, Gareth followed your gaze and saw Eddie standing at the back of the room. Eddie met his eyes and gestures for him to get the others and leave. Gareth is shaking his head rapidly at Eddie, refusing to leave. You knew you had to act fast.

You cleared your throat into the mic. Eddie stops motioning to Gareth and his attention snaps back to you.

"We have one more for you tonight, and it's new for us but I'm sure you'll recognize it." You pause for a few cheers from the audience. "It's um... for someone special who made it tonight," you murmur into the mic. "I hope they know who they are." The room falls mostly silent, spare a few whispers you can hear among the crowd.

"I think maybe a few of you do," you joke into the mic, hearing comfortable laughter fill the room. And with that, you nod at Tiff to begin the music.

There's a few seconds of music before you have to come in with lyrics, so you use them to take deep breaths and when you glance at Eddie, you notice he's already moved a little closer. There's no going back now, you think. So you close your eyes and start singing.

Tonight, I want to give it all to you. In the darkness, there's so much I want to do. And tonight, I want to lay it at your feet. 'Cause boy, I was made for you and boy, you were made for me.

You looked up to see that Eddie has moved to his friends and he's watching you. His expression has slightly softened and you think you can maybe even see a grin painting his face in the dim light.

I was made for lovin' you, baby. You were made for lovin' me. And I can't get enough of you, baby. Can you get enough of me?

You sing directly to him, holding his gaze that's he's trying to intimidate you with. He won't win because you're not scared anymore. He's the first to break your eye contact, turning his head when Jeff nudges him and he begins nodding along with his friends.

Tonight, I want to see it in your eyes, feel the magic, there's something that drives me wild. And tonight, we're gonna make it all come true. 'Cause boy, you were made for me and boy, I was made for you.

You continued singing, moving your body to the music on stage for him, but your eyes never wandered far from where he stood in front of you.

Eddie exhaled the breath he was holding in, giving in to his weakness for you as he watched your electricity on stage. Someone passed him a shot. He downed it without even stopping to ask what it was, smiling at the stranger and thanking them. He needed it for his nerves. He was not sure what he was going to do when you finished singing.

I was made for lovin' you, baby. You were made for lovin' me And I can give it all to you, baby. Can you give it all to me?

You draw out your last note slightly, and breathe deep with a heaving chest when your song ends. You smile at the applause, lower your head back to the clapping crowd and see Eddie weaving his way through the people to the front of the crowd at the stage, to you.

Your heart thumps at the sight of him coming towards you. Just as he approaches the stage, you bend at your knees and come down closer to his level. You're hovering just inches above him at this height, his head is turned up only slightly to meet your eyes.

Neither of you say anything as the crowded room is cheering around you. Eddie stares at you from his place beneath you and the heat flushes you, pink rising from your chest and into your neck.

Almost instinctively, Eddie surges forward and you meet him without second thought, bringing your empty hands to either side of his face.

You kiss him with desperation, as if you could kiss away the agony of the last week, as if you didn't kiss him like this he would disappear from in front of you forever, like this is your last chance.

The crowd erupts around you, cheers and shouting and applause filling the room. It causes you both to break your kiss because of the huge smile that spreads on both your faces.

"You sing that just for me?" Eddie breathes against you.

"Yes."

"You mean it?" he asks in disbelief.

"Every word," you promise, planting a sweet kiss to his lips as his insides burn up with your love.

Then you feel his hands reach up and grab your ribs. He applies the slightest pressure, telling you to jump, that he'll catch you. And he does. You wrap both arms around his neck and Eddie pulls you off the stage effortlessly. He lowers you with firm hands on your ribcage to straddle your legs around his tall frame and keep your lips trained on him the entire time.

"Yeah you're welcome!" Jeff shouts.

"See you later then? We'll just pack up here!" Jess yells from stage with sarcasm.

"It's about fucking time!"

The whistling and catcalling you hear behind you grow more and more distant as Eddie walks you to the closest door, unwilling to waste another second without his hands all over you. You lift one hand from its place on his back to give them all the bird.

You can thank them later.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #stranger things #joseph quinn #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #stranger things 4 #Spotify #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fics #eddie munson imagines #stranger things eddie

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ignoredbellyaches · 21 days

Text

AND WHEN I ARRIVE AT MY DESTINATION... I AM GONNA KILL BILL.

Ford can't remember his name.

WARNING: Heavy focus on suicide ideation, actively considering it, and the writing of a last note. Other than that, it's just general angst. Not proofread, we die like men.

Ford stumbles over some stupid root in some stupid, cryptic forest- He hates this dimension, he HATES it. How did he even get here?! He knew dimension hopping was finicky when taking shortcuts through witches, and he shouldn't have even entertained the thought... But it was pretty cheap.

He checks his energy blaster, popping open the fuel only to see it was running on maybe two more blasts. He peers over the rock he's hidden behind, his eyes darting wildly around for any sign of the monster that was (currently?) chasing him. To say it was huge was an understatement. It was at least four times his size, it... Two blasts weren't going to hold him over, not for that monster and not long enough for him to find more of the fuel or an alternative source of it. Ford chewed on his lip, trying to think.

A growl is heard.

Ford tenses against the rock, closing his eyes as he tries to listen for any other movement... It sounds like the beast is going in a different direction from him, but too close for comfort. He was safe for now. Ford takes off his goggles, rubbing away the collected grime and sweat on his face. He couldn't keep doing this, not forever. He couldn't even keep track of time anymore- was time even a thing out here? What was he even trying to accomplish— getting back home where nothing but horrific memories waited for him? No one was waiting for him, not except that damned Cipher. He was such an idiot.

Ford looks back down at his nearly empty gun, sighing. "Trust no one!...but your gun," Ford thought with a grimace on his face. How would he get out of this situation? Did he even want to? Obviously not, or else he would be discretely scavenging around to find some way out. He just wanted to rest without feeling the weight of the galaxy on him. He could always...

Well, he didn't usually entertain the thought. Not wanting to give into what Cipher surely wanted, succumbing to the madness and offing himself, but... It was tempting, Ford had to admit. He knew it was against all of his morals, that it would be such an anticlimactic end to his story, but... Who would even be around to remember his story? Who even remembered him? With how much time has passed, maybe in earth years, everyone he knew had already died. Moved on, blissfully unaware of his situation or they just didn't care. Not like he ever took the time to-

It was the logical thing to do. Work smarter, not harder. Ford pulled out the small journal he kept in his coat pocket, hating the damn thing but he always had the urge to record things. He wondered if anyone out here could even read it? Whatever. He grabbed the quill he still had on him from Earth, the only thing beside his glasses that he still had, and pulled out an alien ink that stained a deep purple instead of a black.

"To whomever it may concern,"

No one would be concerned. This journal would probably be eaten by some crazed feral.

"My name is"

Ford exhaled, closing his eyes. Did he really want his name attached to his corpse? Unwashed, unkempt, ugly bastard in the middle of some kind of forest. What even was his name...? He was... Was...

Ford choked out a sob, quickly slapping a hand over his mouth, subsequently dropping his quill.

Oh God, what was his name?

Against his wishes, Ford strains out another breath, trying to recollect himself.

He was... His name was-

Damn it! Why couldn't he remember!? He knew this, surely he knew this... Just remember other things, what's your mother's name, your father's, your brothers?

Caryn, Filbrick, Stanley, Shermie... What was he forgetting!? Some kind of S name, he knew. He presses his thumbs against his temples, his thoughts clouded by the memories of others. His father wouldn't be impressed with a quitter. Shermie must've been well past college. Mom would probably be gossiping to her friends right now, talking about how she hasn't seen her golden boy in ages- Stanley would've...

What was Stanley doing?

Last Ford had seen him, Stanley was calling out to him before pushing Ford into his own personal hell. Surely, he just went off without a care, figuring it was one less Pines to worry about...

Pines! Stan.. Stanford, Stanford Pines.

Ford moves his trembling hand down to his quill, focusing through his silent tears back to the journal. He steadies himself, and even though it took him uncomfortably long, he mustered the strength.

"My name is Stanford Pines."

His jaw clenched at his own name. He could feel his veins filled with hatred. Not only towards himself but towards... Bill. That fucker took everything from him. He was to blame, not Ford. A snap breaks him out of his trance.

His quill bent at the top. Ford sighs, taking a deep breath. His eyes open back down to the journal, his hand still before writing furiously.

"And I am going to kill the entity known as Bill Cipher." He slams the journal close, putting back in his coat. He can die later, but he'd be damned if Bill wasn't going first.

...

requests/asks are open : )

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icey--stars · 1 year

Text

Born For Tragedy: Part 2

Series Index

She was tragedy. Nothing except death, fear and pain followed in her wake. When she was young, she was beaten. Now she’s the one doing the beating as an assassin. A mysterious stranger comes to her, paying an absurd amount of money for her to kill Beron Vanserra, and protect the eldest son until the job is done. She stumbles across a story much similar to her own, and knows what must be done.

WARNINGS: this chapter is the first to fully introduce the domestic violence and abuse. past this point there are no more warnings on it. please be aware of this!!

↢ 『 ☾ 』 ↣

Valda awoke early, skillfully strapping on her daggers, before pulling on the idiotic-looking orange skirt, and then a white blouse. Under the cover of darkness, she was able to glamor the burn scars that covered her wrists, and the battle scars from various other things. The tattoos as well. One flowy crescent moon on her upper right arm, a bargain mark, and then the training mark of the Masters: a flowy dark raven across her collarbone. She also made sure the lashing marks that made it past her shoulders were glamoured as well.

She ruffled her short, black hair before she exited the servant quarters to find breakfast and Nova.

“Well at least you know how to dress,” Nova said from behind her. Valda startled, turning around quickly, consciously having to tell herself to keep her hands away from her daggers.

“I know how to do a lot of things,” Valda retorted.

“Perhaps then, there will be a few more surprises,” Nova mused, walking past Valda with a wrinkled noise. “Hopefully, bathing is one of them.”

Valda sneered, puffing out her breath. She closed her eyes for a moment before following Nova. Breakfast was some sort of tasteless porridge. The Autumn Court must be poor, Valda thought, because the Forest House’s servants weren’t even fed properly.

“Clean Lord Jax’s room,” Nova ordered. “Be quick about it. Lord Jax has a meeting this morning only for so long. If he finds you, you might be in for some trouble.”

Valda rolled her eyes but took the broom, duster, and hamper offered. “And Eris’s after then?”

“Lord Eris,” Nova corrected. “And yes.”

“Lord Eris, General Eris, Eris, the heir-“ Valda listed off. “I think if we’re just talking about him, we won’t die.”

“You never know who’s listening in this house,” Nova said. It was much too ominous for Valda’s taste. “Just wait. You’ll see.”

Valda rolled her eyes but left without another word. It wasn’t that hard to find Jax’s quarters. He had a bedroom combined with a study, rather than two separate rooms like Eris.

It was quick and easy to sweep, dust, and gather up the sheets and clothes to be cleaned. Putting on the clean sheets she went back to get had been a bit more difficult, but she was done.

Valda picked up the duster and the broom, walking out of the quarters. Jax was right down the hallway. He had shoulder-length hair that was tied messily into a ponytail. His nose wrinkled as he spotted her coming out.

Valda stood off to the side, waiting for the son of Beron to pass.

Jax shot his hand out and pushed her head down. “You bow, newbie.”

Then he walked off, as Valda bit back an angry retort. Oh, she’d delight in tearing him apart if she got the chance.

Valda continued walking down the hallway, heading toward Eris’s chambers. If she could finish her work early, and lie to Nova she’d been working, then she might be able to gain some input on what was actually happening in this house. Perhaps she could learn what made Nova so nervous to speak out of line.

The doors were closed when she got there, so she hesitated slightly, frozen for only a moment before rapping her knuckles twice.

“Who is it?” Called that haughty voice from within. It was coming from the left, so Eris was likely in his study.

“The cleaner,” Valda replied.

She heard movement behind the doors before it opened and Eris glared down at her. “Come back later,” he said gruffly.

“I won’t bother you,” Valda insisted. She also needed to gather information on this particular individual as well. Why must he be protected? He was the heir, so he’d become High Lord when she killed Beron, but did she really need to protect him?

Eris looked her over again. “Don’t bug my dogs,” he ordered, and then backed away, turning back into the study.

Valda bit back a smirk. She went inside, leaving the door cracked, and went toward the bedroom first. She had to at least make her excuse seem believable. The bedsheets didn’t need to be done yet, so she quickly swept the floors in strokes and gathered the dust and dog hair to throw out.

When she moved into the main hall, a sleek gray hound was laying there. It had one floppy gray ear and intelligent silver eyes. It perked up as she approached, but didn’t growl or bark, and rather seemed to be observing her like Valda was doing.

As it turned its head back to the ground, deeming her harmless, she noticed wisps of smoke and shadow following the movement. Valda hummed. Interesting.

She’d heard of the heir’s ghost hounds, naturally. They were famous enough to be known everywhere. She knew Eris had 12 of them, and that was all.

So she silently swept everywhere around the hall, respectfully avoiding the hound that was lounging.

As she walked into the study, she noted Eris sitting at his desk, and four more hounds at his feet. This male clearly spoiled his hounds.

She began sweeping, observing Eris and his movements.

Eris was heavily muscled, as she suspected, but it was confirmed by the bulging biceps from under his t-shirt. He tended to bite the end of his pen before writing something down as if it helped him think.

When he sat up, he leaned just as badly as anyone else. He looked up at her as she stepped into the place right beside the desk, sweeping.

“You’re interesting,” he mused. “Less afraid than the last one.”

Valda hummed. “Is that a good thing?”

“There’s the second thing,” Eris continued, gesturing towards her slightly. “You’re not hammered on respect like the rest of them.”

“I only give respect when it’s absolutely required,” Valda explained. “When making conversation, it tends to be annoying.”

“Your name is Adira,” Eris recalled. “How did Jack react to you?”

“Jack?” Valda questioned, looking up at last. She met Eris’s amber eyes unflinchingly. She had no reason to fear this male.

“The hound in the hallway,” Eris clarified.

“He looked at me and then ignored me,” Valda answered honestly. She wanted to know why that was important, especially when Eris hummed, and moved back to his work, satisfied.

Valda continued sweeping slightly, her eyes catching on that same novel as last time.

Eris stood suddenly, knocking her from her unfocused state and into an alert one.

Eris lifted a brow as she stood up taller. “A fighter,” he observed. “What can you do?”

Valda looked down at her hands. They’d immediately raised the broom like it was a damn sword. She held back a grumble and lowered the broom back to the ground. “I can’t fight,” she lied.

“What a delightful little liar you are,” Eris chuckled. It’s a taunt, she told herself. It had to be a taunt.

“Tell me, Adira, where are you from?” Eris asked, grabbing a sword she’d missed in her observations from beside his desk. Or perhaps it’d been summoned, or was new and she hadn’t been able to get close enough to the heir of the Autumn Court to see it.

She couldn’t tell Nova one thing and Eris another, she decided. It’d be too risky. “Hewn City, in the Night Court.”

His eyes narrowed. “Interesting.”

Then he left, the sword now belted to his hip. A high-pitched whistle had all the hounds following him.

What a weird person, she thought to herself.

Valda quickly finished sweeping and glanced at the folders on Eris’s desk, but it seemed they were just army reports. Apparently, that bastard shadowsinger from the Night Court had been sneaking around more than usual. She knew of the asshole, but never once had to face him. That was probably a good thing since he was a trained Illyrian warrior, and she was a deadly assassin. They’d end up killing each other.

When she was done snooping, she went back to Nova. “Do the High Lord’s chambers require cleaning?” She asked. She needed information. At least something.

“Are you sure you want to enter that room?” Nova countered, cleaning the dishes with another male servant.

“You have very little faith in me,” Valda noticed. “Yes.”

“Then sweep it and leave as quickly as you can,” Nova ordered. “If the High Lord or Lady Merle is in there, you best be ready to get on your knees.”

She’d already gotten on her knees for that particular High Lord. She’d gotten caught once and paid dearly with the new lashing marks across her back and manacle burns across her wrists and ankles. If she had to get on her knees again, to kill him? She could handle that. She just wouldn’t believe what she was kneeling for.

“I’ll be back then,” Valda promised, and walked off. Finding Beron’s chambers was easy since his were the most adorned and bigger than any others. She entered and saw nobody there in the bedroom. The study, however, sounded like there was someone writing.

So, she scanned the bedroom and began sweeping. The bedroom betrayed no information. The only thing she did find of use was a dagger under Beron’s pillow, which she put right back where it was. Perhaps delivering food in the evening would be more useful to find out the information she required. She desperately needed the High Lord’s schedule, guard schedules, and how the fuck she could kill him. Killing a High Lord was the second most dangerous mission she’s ever attempted. The first? Killing the five Masters who trained her.

She still didn’t know how she would manage to do this. The only thing that she had on him was surprise and skill. He had more power, more guards, more everything. She just had her strong magic which was still nothing compared to a High Lord’s, and her daggers.

She knocked on the study and heard a female respond. “Come in dear!” She called.

Valda schooled her expression to neutral as she walked in. “Hello Lady Merle,” she greeted, seeing the red-haired female sitting at her desk. “How are you today?”

“I’m doing just fine,” Merle replied, smiling warmly. “You’re the new cleaner, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am,” Valda answered, gesturing with her broom.

“Well I do hope you’re getting on alright! My son, Eris, certainly is a difficult one, so you just let me know if you need anything.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, thank you, my lady,” Valda answered. Merle was kind, from what she had heard. Merle was nothing like her husband, nor any of her sons. She was kind and welcoming and deserved Valda’s respect for staying that way, even with all the unruly males surrounding her.

Merle grinned again and turned back to her work while Valda began hers. When she was near the desk, she saw Merle was writing a letter to somebody, however, the beginning was merely a “Dear,” and nothing else. No name or title. Valda wondered who it was for.

“Have you met Eris yet?” Merle asked as Valda moved to sweep beside the bookshelves.

“I have,” Valda replied.

“How was he?”

“Interesting,” she answered honestly. “He seems to take his dogs’ judgements very personally.”

“Ah, yes! I got him his first, did you know that? I named him Percy, and gave it to Eris when he was young. I’d never seen his face light up so brightly! Now he's got 12, and soon to be more!”

“One is pregnant?” Valda guessed.

“Yes, I believe the female is called Taunya. A wonderful little girl. Eris keeps updating me on her status, and everything is going splendidly.”

“That’s good,” Valda said mildly. “What does Eris do during the day?”

Merle grinned as I’d just given her a solstice present. “He’s quite bland, often following my husband around. My son spars, trains his dogs, hunts, and visits the cities more than Beron!”

“Ah, is he in charge of something besides the army then?” Valda guessed.

“He likes agriculture, and speaking with the people. When my husband isn’t around, he’s so much happier.”

“Ah, so the High Lord tends to sour the mood?”

“Sadly, yes. That’s just me being honest though! He’s a strong leader for Autumn. He’s led us through the Hybern War and more.”

What an interesting set of opinions of your husband, Valda thought to herself. Beron was respected and feared, but he spits on the mood wherever he is. That wasn’t useful, per say, but it might be able to help her.

However, the information on Eris was useful. She could figure out his schedule, if he had any, and use it to her advantage. She doubted the heir would be happy suddenly getting all the inherited power of Autumn, and seeing his father’s corpse. She needed to be stealthy around all the sons.

“Thank you for such a pleasant conversation, I have them so rarely these days,” Merle said. Valda swallowed.

“It’s my pleasure, my lady. I’d hate for your day to be so dull.”

“And what about you? Besides the new job, how are things? Where’d you move from?”

“Ah,” Valda hummed. “Nowhere and everywhere. I haven’t settled down for a while. I’m a nanny majority of the time. This is new, but good work.”

“A nanny?” Merle repeated. Valda nodded, playing along with her alias and cover. “Oh, I remember having one of those. It made it a ton easier to raise Jax. I had Eris all on my own, though. Quite the screamers, those two. Lucien was quieter at least.”

Valda smiled warmly. “I love hearing your memories of your children, Lady Merle. You speak of them so fondly, even if they have such deadly reputations nowadays. It’s sweet.”

Merle grinned right back. “I love sharing them to those who will listen!” She exclaimed.

The door opened in the main bedroom. Merle froze and she swallowed. She waved me off with her hands rapidly. Valda realized who walked in and quickly went back to sweeping.

Beron Vanserra walked through the study doors. “Merle, why is there a servant here?” He growled, glaring at me. I tensed, remembering the daggers on my thighs.

“Oh, dear, she’s been quiet. She’s the new one! Such a good, respectful young female. She even asked when sweeping near my desk!” Merle exclaimed. A lie, Valda noticed. Why was Merle lying to her husband, the High Lord?

Beron suddenly slapped Merle across her face and Valda flinched. She flinched hard. The broom nearly fell to the floor from the surprise and adrenaline coursing through her. She tried to forget the times when her mother and father did the same thing to her.

“You don’t let anyone in here without me around,” Beron snarled. “Get out,” he ordered Valda.

Valda swallowed and bowed her head. “Yes, High Lord. I apologize if I’ve offended you.”

“You’re lucky I don’t feel like torturing someone right now. Get out,” Beron growled.

Valda quickly walked out of the room, casting one last glance when Beron had turned back to Merle, who was frozen in her seat. Her lip did not tremble, and tears did not come to her eyes. Valda knew, from experience, that means this has happened before. Multiple times.

She shut the door to Beron’s bedroom with her teeth clenched and her hand grasping the broom so hard it might’ve snapped. Valda marched down the hallway so into her own rageful, vengeful thoughts that she almost missed Eris Vanserra.

Eris lifted a brow as she didn’t lower her head or move to the side of the hallway, but kept marching past him.

She ignored the heir. Lady Merle of the Autumn Court was abused by Beron Vanserra. The High Lord. Valda wanted revenge, and she wanted it quickly.

Eris caught her upper arm and yanked her toward him. Valda turned, bracing her feet, preparing to fight her way out.

↢ 『 ☾ 』 ↣

TAGLIST (see post for getting added)

@bunnymallowo, @officiallyunofficialperson, @margssstuff, @rebloggiest-reblogger, @inpraizeof, @graciereads, @eos-princess, @imma-too-many-fandoms, @mali22, @sassybluebird,

#eris vanserra #eris acotar #eris x oc #acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar fanfic #origianl character #oc #mywriting

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variousqueerthings · 10 months

Text

I am an idiot with a box and a screwdriver, passing through, helping out, learning. I don’t need an army

Dark Water/Death In Heaven -- we're doing it as a double episode single-review, because it's one continuous story. It also wraps up a lot of the thematic threads of season eight and finally reveals that *gasp* it was the Master all along! (I genuinely do not remember if people were taken by surprise back in the day, I never watched this far at that time, and obviously I knew when I finally did)

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 6/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 6/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 3/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 5/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 5/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 5/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 6/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 4/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 4/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 2/10

FULL RATING: 46/100 (if I can count….)

the real issue with the plot of the finale, as I see it is actually solidly in the field of "pacing." there's some other stuff (I'll get into what I think about fulfilling character arcs and concepts about soldiers below), but pacing is the throughline as we take a look at various themes and arcs and whether they were sufficiently wrapped up

EDIT: this one is quite long because it also partially covers the whole season + I rant about the military

OBJECTIFICATION: oooof the four women in this finale, Clara, Kate, Osgood, and Gomez!Master, we technically don't get this much, however I do think it's interesting that M*ffat's Master is... called... Missy....

which I will not be doing, because I hate it. you see she's "Mistress" because she's a woman now, but no nonono, she needs a cutesy version of it, so it's "Missy," she's like the sexy dom you always dreamed of (just like Irene and River and several single-episode characters...)

at least he didn't dress her in leather

it's also hard to designate whether the way he writes her is so off from the way Simm!Master was written, because he for sure had a bunch of "I'm just Cu-raaazyy" moments. also he used bigotry as a casual hammer, which I'd be curious to talk with RTD about. I don't think he'd do that the same way if he were writing those episodes today, anyway, wrong era

Gomez!Master, in these episodes, has some really really stellar moments. she also has moments that make me go, "ah yes, this is a woman written by M*ffat," most noticeably in some of her one-sided "flirting" with the Doctor. again, it's hard to pinpoint, because a lot of it is just "yeah they're unhinged about each other and have been forever," but some of the "ooh Doctor I'm doing all of this for you," stuff is... it just feels like they can do that because of het Nonsense now (which I will get into in the "sexiness" point)

like she can be softer now (in a Master way) because she's portrayed by a woman opposite Capaldi's Doctor, which I think the "short for Mistress" moment is the most prime example of

I do also think though, this is (you guessed it) partially a pacing issue, because they didn't insert Gomez!Master into the main narrative until the second-to-last episode. if we could have seen her in some material way doing something prior to that -- but wait, Simm!Master also only appeared properly in the second-to-last episode, yes, correct, but Simm!Master was materially affecting the narrative from very early on, and not in a somewhat random "I gave you a number to call for a helpline that turned out to be the Tardis and also I'm sort of sitting around waiting for the plot to catch up with me" setup, but in a "I'm monitoring your family, I'm fucking with the government" kind of way -- there was even a musical cue that included the four beats that recurred so that we could connect that to the overarching story of mind-control

I'm going to get back to this in complexity, because we're getting off-point. Point is the jump from where we left off to where we find Gomez!Master being a bit lovey-dovey (again, in a Master way) just wasn't there and I feel like M*ffat thought he could do it this way because of course now they're played by a man and a woman... hypothesis. theory, if you will. Charlie Day Corkboard meme perhaps. but M*ffat would never have done this if the Master were played by a guy, looking at his track record. he might have done it if the Doctor were played by a woman, but I think the real issue there would have been how incredibly porn-opening-adjacent his Doctor/Master interactions would have become, so that's a different sort of lesbophobic bullet dodged

like, I'll take more explicit Master/Doctor stuff. but I'm fucking watching you M*ffat, youknow.

PLOT-POINT: Clara is not a plot-point in this episode, however I do think the pacing of Stuff hits her quite hard. we had a slowish build-up of her and Danny over the episodes, although fascinatingly he never really got to have proper feelings about the acres of lies she'd told him -- she was working up to telling him about it properly, but he got hit by a car before she could

this brings up a Thing about Clara, which is that she makes a loooot of bad decisions that prioritise her own current wants over what's good for her and/or people around her, and I doooo think that's intentional -- she has a line in this episode where she says to Danny, "I wasn’t very good at it, but I did love you"

now season 9 might deal with the guilt of the above, so there may be things to come, but there was certainly a lot of confusion on my side about what her journey was going to be about, and so far it seems to be a very unhealthy "I am owed things" rather than about running away from something tangible or feeling overwhelmed from life

there is the original idea that it was her mother's death that prompted her to want to travel, but something always got in the way, and that this (for example taking care of two kids whose mother died recently) indicates that she's a "good" person who cares for others -- and she doesn't not care, but it's certainly not her driving character trait in the way that it seemed to look like when Eleven met her properly and gauged her as a person who could be a companion

this is all very waffly, because I'm still not sure where Clara lands in all of this, or if I think it works in the grand scheme of things, especially in tandem with the other characterisations and themes of this season. it's got a very depressing, hopeless sort of framing to it that in other contexts I might be really into, but I may not enjoy for Doctor Who

that being said... it's consistent throughout the season. Clara sees the Doctor's red flags (and we'll get to those) and provided the ending is okay and she can control the Doctor and her own role in the situation, she's okay with the idea that people get used along the way -- as long as the Doctor doesn't try that on her

in this episode of course Clara threatens to (and makes good on that promise, even if it doesn't work) destroy the Tardis keys, stranding them both on a volcano, rails against the ordinariness of grief and feels that she is owed something more, shuts down Danny's attempts to say that he loves her, because it's not on her terms (granted, these terms are "please just accept that I'm dead," but that is kind of the point with Clara and her sense of controlling things, even death), then decides to be the one to kill Danny properly as a Cyberman, despite the Doctor explaining that Cyber-Danny will kill others, and then is fully intending to just straight up kill the Master!!!!

this is wild to me -- back in s3, when Francine and the entire Jones family are prepared to see the Master dead, it's because he destroyed the earth and made them watch and kept them as slaves for a year

in this episode, Clara wants to kill the Master because she did bad things that, yes, prolonged the sadness of Danny's death, but crucially did not actually cause Danny's death. Danny just... died. yeah, there's probably theories out there that the Master might have caused it (we'll get to this too), but this is never textual in the episode, and Clara never gives an indication that that's her belief

she's just angry that the Master is a bad person who did bad things, as concept. and mostly she's angry because her boyfriend is dead, and as far as I can see, the Doctor is now off the hook (whereas at the beginning the Doctor was very much on the hook) and the Master is the closest person around to take that anger out on

bonkers for a companion to be this way. again, Martha, my beloved Martha, Osterhagen key back in the day, she's not doing this out of anger, she's having a straight-up bad time and the whole tragedy is about the Doctor accidentally turning companions into soldiers. they've got guns and everything. Clara just bypasses this and is simply down for murder because she's upset

at the end of course she elects to not tell the Doctor about Danny's sacrifice/still being dead, because she thinks the Doctor would stay rather than return to Gallifrey (which may not be found after all, because the Doctor lies to her about that too), which is quite self-sacrificial of her. we'll see where this sentiment goes, especially as it's another lie, which is kind of their whole... thing with one another. terrible terrible for one another, which I know is the appeal for their fans, so I'm not necessarily writing this as critique

I am reminded of the Doctor and Martha again, who also had a whole unhealthy thing going on, but it was very based in the narrative and had a specific trajectory and then an ending that acknowledged this as a reason for Martha no longer wishing to travel with them (and then some things I have questions about, RTD bring Martha back I'm not satisfied!)

in this story, it feels like this is simply who Clara is. and while it does contradict some of her earlier narrative in s7, I can accept that it's consistent now. but yeah... as said, there's some plotting and pacing inconsistencies. where are the kids from before (I know she stopped taking care of them, but one feels like they had no tangible impact on the story), why was Danny's death written in the way it was (we'll get to that), where did some of her s7 characterisation go (I really missed a Clara who wasn't just smart and quippy, but was also scared and out of her depth), is this because she "knows" a lot of the Doctor lore now, so she feels like she belongs more in this world than other people? why was she in love with Danny, to the point of wanting to go to a possible afterlife to get him back (actually this is a big one, because while they did have scenes together, I don't know what drew her to him, and I have some feelings about Danny down in the politics section of this, which somewhat can be boiled down to "he gives me the vibes of a man who is kind and sensitive and easily used and Clara likes to use people so...")

like I said- it's not that Clara doesn't make sense for who she is now, but that the pacing and structure don't support her arc very well. I don't think this is the worst thing to happen to a female character during M*ffat's run, but it does make this finale less emotionally fulfilling than it clearly wants to be

am I sad that Danny is dead? yeah, but not because of Clara. I'm sad because of his unrealised potential as a character. am I shocked that Clara wanted to shoot the Master? yes, but because it was a Bonkers Yonkers bit of characterisation on top of some already wild things she did which any past Doctor I think would have said "ok, you are not suitable for this kind of life, because you are way too down with murder and have no emotional stability." When Clara left the Doctor, I was kinda like. yeah, ok, she could end this here I guess (I say that, and acknowledge that actually the Christmas Special right after gives her a bit more depth on the whole "Danny Dying Sitch" of things, although again, it does not make me think she should be continuing to travel with the Doctor, never mind be working with UNIT in s9????)

ok. but. pacing. let's get to it

COMPLEXITY: ok the problem with this episode is not technically complexity, although it does fall for a couple of M*ffat standards in that it didn't need to be doing some of the things it is doing (the cremation stuff I think is particularly unsettling in a needless way that I think crosses a line, but that is possibly subjective)

the problem is the questions I was asking in the previous sections and a whole bunch more, that shows that all of the themes and questions that were set up throughout the season weren't paced well or satisfactorily concluded

take one that I like: The Master. big fan of Gomez' portrayal of The Master barring a few things that are very M*ffat female character, with a dash of his Moriarty (so youknow the drill if you've ever spent too long engaging with a M*ffat narrative), but that's not her, that's just her having to make a "hey Missy you're so fine" dialogue work

I mentioned it was odd that she was so sidelined and just... hanging around... until the second-to-last episode. I am unclear why she "chose" Clara to travel with the Doctor, first of all. I cannot remember if this is answered in the episode, beyond like "the Universe and fate and shit" which I'm not a fan of if so. second of all... why didn't she kill Danny? (EDIT: did read there's a short story that confirmed she did kill Danny, but we're going purely by episodes here)

if we want to go big, say, why wasn't there a big, slow reveal that she'd been poking around in Clara's life, maybe also Danny's life who knows, and that she was giving all of these things to the Doctor as a gift by using humans as puppets culminating in Danny's death and this is what sets Clara off? the idea that she once again is just playing to the tune of a larger narrative that she has no control over and worse, isn't even about her, but about this fucked up dynamic between these two incredibly old aliens

I'm sure some people like the randomness of Danny's death. I personally do not. I think it's contrived angst that comes out of nowhere in the same way so much of M*ffat's narrative tends to do. why is this happening now? because we need the story to go there and we forgot to place 90% of the establishing building blocks that make it feel organic -- the worst offender for this in my opinion is still the "Amy grew up with River as her best friend the whole time, you just didn't know," but this is a pretty bad example in my opinion too, because on the surface it is very very sad, and the randomness of death is a great idea... but hey, remember when they did that story in 2005 with Rose's dad and it was really good and established and played into the overarching themes of her story? this is not that. this is using sadness as a cheap device

there's like. a story in here that is really really good, and it gets buried underneath a bunch of contrived over-the-top stuff (although, while I initially thought the "president of the earth" stuff was bad, and still kind of do, I did think it was funny that the Doctor mocked the Master about all those times they tried to rule the world and the Doctor managed it by accident)

I also -- and I'm sure many people have noticed this too -- cannot help but go, "oh isn't this just the Library plot but evil? and with a worse/less believable set of scifi nonsense explanations?" and that's such a M*ffat classic too. use three or four good (and sometimes not good) ideas over and over again, but bigger and more unwieldy

Ohhhh boy the idea of the Brigadier becoming a Cyberman, because all of earth - no wait, more than earth, some of the people who end up there aren't on earth - for the last x amount of years has just been sucked into the evil Library database. (seriously, tell me how this works, because it works across Time and Space apparently??) -- anyway billions? trillions? of people becoming Cybermen. I don't think this is explained either. I am not a fan of the Brigadier becoming a Cyberman, let's say that

none of the core scifi stuff is explained beyond a handwave, and none of the emotional arcs are given a satisfying conclusion but!

listen Michelle Gomez is so cool, I relish the future when I know she's getting better dialogue

also in theory I like the callback to the "I win" in s3. we know the Doctor doesn't kill her, but yeah, him going "you win." they're such weirdos about each other, truly. again, with all of the rest of the "stuff" this season, the poor pacing, the scrape-the-surface-and-it's-cheap-sentimentality I don't think it entirely works, but hey, Gomez will return so!

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: Danny is dead. the Master is Michelle Gomez (and not dead). the Doctor is slightly? more chill in themself (maybe, idk, going by the following episode, maybe not). Gallifrey is still lost. I think that covers it?

also the Doctor just straight-up wasn't looking for Gallifrey this whole time it seems

COMPANIONS MATTER: Clara does some things in this one. notably, not a single thing she does works, but for the ways they work because the Doctor and/or Danny care about her so so much, which I think is at the heart of all of this -- if you (the audience) believe that the Doctor and Danny have so much affection and/or love for Clara that despite her behaviour they would go to the afterlife for her, they would break cyber-coding for her, then this works

if you don't believe this, then we're in trouble.

things Clara does: aforementioned attempted destruction of Tardis key, attempting to save Danny from death, passing herself off as the Doctor, killing Danny, killing the Master

I thiiiink... that covers it. within this she does convince the Doctor to take her to the afterlife, and Danny saves her life a few times

I want to note the "Clara pretends to be the Doctor" moment, because I think it's a good example of some of the flattening of her character. in her earlier entries in s7 she was afraid at times. now, obviously, like the other companions she's seen more, she's more confident, but she is still in very real danger -- contrasting with Rose in Doomsday and how she taunts the Daleks, she's still very very afraid, she's sure they're all going to die

and I think Rose in Army of Ghosts/Doomsday is the closest to Clara out of previous companions I've seen (not counting Classic Who which I haven't finished). by that point she's seen so much that her mother comments that she doesn't seem like herself anymore (I wish Clara's grandmother had made a similar observation -- or at least some kind of observation). she knows a bunch of DW lore, she loves the travel for the sake of it, she feels, yeah, special (although with the caveat that she's met previous companions, the Doom hangs over them all season, we know this is about to end one way or another)

I just sat there the whole time thinking, "why is the director not asking JLC to put more emotion into her voice, more doubt, more desperation, just... more. why is this scene so flat?"

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: the Doctor is a headless chicken in this one, except for the fact that he's like "yeah we'll go to the afterlife" and then promptly goes "there is no afterlife, this is stupid."

it's a small thing on the whole, but hey, Doctor, you're the one who decided to go there

as for the Doctor as a seasons-arc roundup. I... don't hate it... but I still don't like how this Doctor is characterised. he's still incredibly unlikeable just on a personal level, and yeah yeah good doesn't mean nice, but he's also just not kind. and I think I struggle to enjoy an iteration of the Doctor who isn't kind, at least sometimes

I think a lot of that -- the unkindness -- falls to the wayside as a concept in this episode, because idk, it's not important I guess? whereas I think it's central to the Doctor's question of "am I good"? are you good because you try to make people not-die, sure, but you're also good because you don't mock kids. you don't casually state that you've forgotten peoples faces because they're so forgettable/unimportant to you. you don't treat people poorly that know they're about to die

if that stuff -- that domestic stuff, as Nine might have called it -- isn't important to the question, then I don't think the question is being satisfactorily answered by this episode

yes, Twelve turns down the chance to have a literal army that could just kill all bad guys, but I never doubted that. does Twelve treat others with kindness? Mmmm still not really, going by the episode right after. it's a fun little exploration of something absolutely wild the Master might try, but I don't think it tells me anything new about the Twelfth Doctor

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: ok, I'm sure some people loved some of these callbacks. The Brigadier. the Cybermen outside St Pauls.

did like Osgood saying that Simm!Master prime-minister wasn't even the worst one we've had. that ages ever more hilariously

I just don't think the plot is good enough for a lot of them. and as an ending to the Brigadier well... ok, I liked it better than way back (s6) the Doctor receives a random phonecall that the Brigadier is dead and it's apropos nothing and Kate Stewart hadn't been introduced yet, so it was just some random guy that the old fans knew, but the nu fans would have been ??? about, because why does this guy dying drive the plot like that? I liked that the Brigadier has context

of course that context is, your brain was uploaded to a computer database for years and now you're fully a cyberman -- and it's not framed as super tragic? it's another one of the ways the emotional Stuff falls flat in this episode, and I just choose to pretend it's not something that happens

“SEXINESS”: M I S S Y... short for Mistress... because we need to gender this now. Anyway, the first time this character meets the Doctor in this form, she forcibly grabs him and kisses him without his consent (afterwards Clara smirks and asks if she used tongue)

so that is... that is a thing that happens. that is a thing that has happened a lot on this show, both to Ten and Eleven, but not to Twelve until now, because I guess women only humorously throw themselves at twinks

when will our suffering end?? why is this considered funny???? Stop!!!

she also at one point says "you know I should shoot you in a jealous rage, now wouldn’t that be sexy," which was one thing I was alluding to with the "where does writing the Master as kind of fucked up end and writing the Master as a Crazy Evil Sexy Lady begin" because this is definitely in the latter category

INTERNAL WORLD: is this just the Silence of the Library but evil and less believable? yes. does it make sense that they could magically put all those minds back into reconstructed Cyberbodies on top of corpses, including people who must have been dead for centuries, or died in the future not even on earth? don't think about it

POLITICS: So, you know how this season is all about the Doctor and soldiers and "am I a good man" and Danny was a soldier and calls the Doctor an officer, and on the plus-side we have the Doctor's speech about not being a good man or an officer or anything like that, but just "some fuckn guy" (paraphrased, he actually calls himself an idiot)

on the flipside of that we have... Danny. oh Danny. I. so I really want to like Danny, and I actually do like Danny, I think he's the most underserved character of the season, in the sense that everyone else being written to be an asshole just makes it shine through that he is... not. and his whole thing is that he feels guilty about having shot a kid in Afghanistan and that's what made him leave the military, because... it felt bad, I guess

I write that, because Danny didn't leave the army because he didn't agree with their politics anymore. despite having a bunch of lines derogatorily calling the Doctor "sir," and flipping shit like "watch the blood-soaked general in action" there's never actually a story of Danny realising a superior officer was using his power to hurt anyone, and he never questions that having been there in the first place, in a position to shoot a child, might have been the bad thing

he's not railing against superiors, he's just railing, which is frustrating when it's so close to getting it right. it seemed like they might be going there for awhile, there was a hot second where I thought they might, but at the end he firmly re-identifies himself as a soldier and shoots himself and the other Cybermen into the sky to save the planet. it's so... oooh it's so [flames on the side of my head]

he does send the kid back, rather than himself, which circles back to my thinking about Danny the character (kind, compassionate, sensitive) and Danny as keeper of certain themes (that it's not the system of soldiering that's bad, in fact we need to defend ourselves, see Doctor, your black and white narrative about soldiers as related to any guilt you might feel about having once killed people, or making situations happen where people die or or, is false, because it's more complicated than that, and soldiers are a good thing actually -- no, we haven't actually made a narrative about systems of soldiering, we've conflated freedom-fighting against a fictional fascist-coded alien with the British army, it's the same thing in the end)

it makes me want to -- in that oh-so-silly fandom way -- take Danny away from the writers and look back at his core traits: he's an orphan who by the sounds of things was never adopted, so in a place of being easily groomed by a structure like the army, he believes in the inherent goodness of people (I think), like I said, kind, compassionate, sensitive, lovely to kids, clearly suffers from PTSD (of course), and... in my opinion eaaasily misused by others, because he judges things to be solely on his shoulders

because Clara is a very forceful personality, I can sooo easily see how he'd be taken with her and want to forgive her over and over again and sacrifice himself for her

I wish that Danny's storyline had been about realising his worth. not his worth as a fucking soldier, but just "oh, I've been scared my whole life, I've had to do what others told me my whole life, and now this is my choice." I mean, the sacrificing is still... sigh (I do remember seeing people pointing out that great, we introduce a Black recurring character and then yeet him into the sky once his use is up, vs, say Rory who is there from beginning to end)

(I actually like Danny better than Rory on the whole, but I also think Danny and Rory have a lot of similar traits, and they both fall in love with women who have treated them abysmally, but at least Clara understands this as a part of her arc, both in the final episode of this and the subsequent Christmas episode)

but at least it wouldn't have been a sacrifice in which he reinserts himself as a cog in a machine. fucking soldier. please Danny, you deserve more from this thematic journey. if we'd had a narrative about an abusive or simply bad or incompetent or idealistically incompatible officer, this would have made more sense, but instead we just get vague references that go nowhere

ok I'm writing in circles now, so let's drop this and talk about the kid he shoots, whom he meets in the "afterlife" (argh this whole concept is so stupid) and I guess just... sits with? until he scares him away. and then sends him back to life again

there's something poignant in that to an extent, it's just of course that this random unnamed kid from Afghanistan who says not a line is a prop to absolve Danny of his personal guilt at shooting a child, and, again, not really about the nature of British colonialism and military violence

now oof, those are some heavy themes to bring up, can we expect all this from a silly show like Doctor Who? well, M*ffat did, he just wasn't able to follow through. heavy themes aren't shock value, you'd better be a good enough writer to do something with them, or idk, not want to suck the British army's dick

ooh, that was a bit aggressive on my part. I think because season eight actually has so much interesting stuff it's playing with, so this time I could finally see Stuff, but then the payoff was just a disappointing slap. RIP Danny, in my heart you had character development this season that went into all of the interesting narrative threads that were introduced, and you became a passionate speaker for not grooming kids into joining the army

the TL;DR of this point is "soldiers good sometimes. check mate Pacifist" -- but similar to Kill The Moon, it's so messy I'm not sure it actually knows what it wants to say

FULL RATING: 46/100 (if I can count….)

I feel like not everyone would agree with me, but I like the Master's overall plan. it fits with the wildly swinging way they try to win the Doctor over, just to lash out when the Doctor (understandably) turns them down, while also pinpointing the little hypocrisies of the Doctor's morals, because the Master keeps offering the ability to Change Things and the Doctor prefers little shifts of the status quo that often mean people get left behind or get hurt or it's much messier than a clean sweep of "if you just ruled the Universe with me, we'd do good things"

(the Doctor is of course right to go "yeahno, this is not a good idea, for starters we both have so many issues, for seconds anyone who sets out to be a good ruler of anything has already failed because of the premise"). it's the strongest part of the episodes for me, I just wish it had had a more satisfying build-up and been able to tie in better to the themes of the season (or rather that the themes of the season had been written better in previous episodes so as to tie in better with this wrapping-up)

and obviously the whole "soldier" stuff is just badly written

and Clara...? I'll wait and see in her final season. it's very much a "depends on how they round it off" for me

also, oh boy am I done with quips. the Wh*donesque quipping is doing my head in, please make it stooop

"One last chance. I don’t care about the rules, I don’t give a damn about paradoxes, I swear you will never step inside your Tardis again" <- this is Villain Behaviour Clara!!!!

#im watching nu!who #im watching capaldi who #episode dark water #episode death in heaven #the measurement #theres so much more i didnt cover tbh my energy for this is low rn

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