#HEALING? CATHARTIC?

[rokurookajima]

the stars, the moon

they have all been blown out

(x)

first sunrise post-harmonic convergence, first time seeing each other face to face post-bonding our souls together forever

(also imagining this would potentially be wan’s first time seeing her in human form at her full power which idk that makes me feel something)

[dykedvonte]

I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.

I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?

The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.

[somegrumpynerd]

Okay I know I'm the most biased person about dadmare, but you can't honestly tell me that if Cross started to mention the way xgaster treated him and his brother as children - the way an adult bullied and belittled and abused them - that it wouldn't make Nightmare see red

[canisalbus]

I've been following you for years, and I love your art. Seeing you repost your older art pieces reminded me how much I loved the angry, bitter, miserable Machete art and how it resonated with me... but a part of me is also so happy to see the current art of him being happy. Cute art of him as a unicorn, or chilling in a bathtub with Vasco. Like, we're all growing and healing :')

[yikesy]

also I like imagining post revolution apollo and hermes when I'm getting too tired of The Angst™

they're like this to me

apollo: (opening the curtains) hermes get ready!! we're having a constitutional assembly(!!!) ⁽⁽`o(≧ᗜ≦)o´⁾⁾ (vibrating with excitement)

hermes: (hiding under blankets) i can never show my face in public again, from this point forward i don't deserve to have a say in anything anymore

apollo:...

isn't that the exact sort of treatment that made you snap in the first place.

hermes:...

(gingerly uncovers eyes)

apollo: (sighs fondly) we're going together

and on day three they're already drafting proposals for workers rights or something

[blitzwhore]

Stolitz, and their fear of rejection and sense of worthlessness turning into a self-fulfilled prophecy.

Blitz—

Does anybody love you, Blitzo? / No.

Eventually everyone goes...

Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress. It's nothing... You know. It's nothing else.

I'm going to die alone, aren't I? Just a wrinkly, old, withered waste.

Royal demons don't give a shit about guys like us. They're all the fucking same.

Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you. You make that really clear all the time.

But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo.

I mean, Stolas is just a loud, thirsty bitch who loves feeling the thrill of being dicked by the lower class. It's a novelty to him.

And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was, and he'll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos, and laugh at my jokes... /Oh well that's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit / I know, right?!

It's all my fault. I'd hate me too. I mean, I do hate—

You're going to die alone. You're gonna die alone, Blitzo.

[My worst fear has come true. He couldn't possibly want me. This has to be a joke. He's selfish and an asshole, just like the rest of them. He's trying to get rid of me; that's the only explanation. I'm just a broken toy he's finally gotten bored of, just like I knew would happen. He won't even fight for me, and why would he? I could never be good enough for him. It's happening again. I'm being abandoned by someone I care about. I really am going to die alone.]

Stolas—

Would he want me if he was free? And if he's only here as a prisoner, what kind of monster does that make me?

I mite b bsuy / I wouldn't want to bother you!

You see... I seem to have found myself with, um. Feelings for him. And I'm not sure if it's a mutual thing.

Dearest, I know better now, I must give you this choice.

I'll save us both before we grow cold.

What's between you and I? Just a comfortable lie.

I'm sorry it's a bad time yet again, Blitzy...

He deserves the choice to stay or go.

So I'll grant you this mercy, this bind on our souls needs to end...

Next time you come over, maybe we can talk about what happened at Ozzie's? / Y? / I'm sorry! Nevermind, it's not a big deal.

What's left for me and my broken heart if I cannot have you? Unless it's me, and no matter what in this world I could give, it's not enough to get through the walls you've conjured up to live...

I'll believe him, and not the voice that says I'm not enough.

I'll fucking die alone if this goes bad!

[My worst fear has come true. I truly am not worthy of being loved. He's rejecting me— no, mocking me for even thinking he could ever want to be with me if he didn't need my book. I've been taking advantage of him all this time, all the while believing we had something real and being naive enough to think he could love me back. I am a monster. And now that he can, he has chosen to leave me. So now the least I can do is quietly let him—the only person I have ever wanted and felt alive with—go. I really am going to die alone.]

[shou-jpeg]

Worst part about living in a city and not the mountains is that I no longer can just walk outside my house and scream into the trees when I'm feeling it.

Noooooo instead I have to respect my neighbours 🙄☹️😫

[kikinoir777]

Gaslight Glow

Your charisma ignited something within me— warmth and safety, something I'd never had. Love, I called it. But nothing lasts forever, not even a polished facade. You had me there— your glow a lie, a mask, a deceptive cloak. A flicker of cloaked anger creeping in with every word of disdain, fear taking hold in my mind. Each whispered doubt echoed louder, twisting the truth I once knew. Your words are barbed wire, tangling in my mind, leaving scars not even I can see. Unseen wounds whisper in the dark, shaping silhouettes into doubts. The mirror reflects a cloaked figure, cracks weaving lies through its fractured face. When I reach out, the mirror shatters into murmurs, each shard holding a different truth. Ghastly visions waver, dancing in the reflections of each broken fragment. Effortless whispers drift through my reflection, reshaping my reality. My soul’s light glimmers, about to dim. You’ve tried to snuff it out, deepening the darkness I fought so hard to crawl out of. But my soul’s light refuses to fade, flickering defiantly against the darkness you cast. But I endure— hope rising within me, evoking courage amidst your malevolent phantoms. I emerge from that darkness. I pick up a shard of that broken mirror. My soul shines through, radiating strength and resilience. Your influence begins to wither. Clarity deepens, truth taking root. I reclaim my narrative— verity anchoring the foundation I fought for. I stand unbroken, a warrior, shattering your facade and reclaiming truth.

[torchstelechos]

Me to Siffrin at any point in the story:

[lifesizehysteria]

In every iteration of Violet Bridgerton I write, I will unapologetically make her wife/lover worship her body that is marked and changed and softened by pregnancy because it’s what she deserves. It’s what we all deserve. Her body is perfect and that’s all there is to say on the matter.

[ajatheoleander12]

Sure, therapist Nahida sounds nice. But have you thought about good coping mechanism Nahida and bad coping mechanism Wanderer healing together?

There's something nice about her giving it to him straight, without coddling him or trying to get a result from helping him or looking down at him like the other people in his past did. She still let him believe that she was doing it for her own benefit cause she knows that he feels guilt for his deeds and his feelings towards others and he wouldn't belive her if she claimed otherwise. She doesn't want to push him to far out of his comfort zone and she doesn't need him to believe that she's trying to help because she doesn't need the affirmation that she's a good person, she doesn't push her insecurities onto him. She tries to both encourage him to walk out of his comfort zone and establish bountries.

I really like the scene where she practicaly tells him: "You were a bad person and you did horrible things and you have to own up to the shitty things you've done."

She's also probably the only person in Teyvat that completely understands him. She was also deemed unworthy of the title of an Archon, she was also deemed too little and not enough for her caretakers at the time. She was also discarded by the people that were meant to assist her growth. She was also replaced with a "better" option. I am fully aware that they also share differences, but I believe those differences are meant to show us an alternate ending to either story. Nahida was never coddled, which lead to her having doubts about herself and trying to please others and resulted in her growing a little on her own. Wanderer grew dependent on his emotional bonds with the people that cared for him and ended up taking their loss too hard and stalling his growth. Nahida met the right people that helped her through a difficult time, both physicaly and emotionaly. Wanderer met Dottore, who manipulated him and made him worse. Dottore was an enabler to Wanderer and a bad influence. And that might be a stretch, but I believe that the meeting between Rukkhadevata and Nahida could have been the meeting between Wanderer and Makoto.

Idk, I could be wrong, but I don't like it when there's a singular interpretation of the relationship between two characters. I'm also not a fan of how we forcfully speedgrow Nahida and how the "baby" metaphore in Wanderer's lore is only ever used to say he's a shotacon or smth. I like the complexity of these characters too much to only have one opinion for them. I also like the idea that Nahida is also self-healing by helping Wanderer, who is kinda like a man-child at times.

[foolishstepladder]

Franziska and Pearl have so many parallels man

Franziska von Karma. Raised in a household where she’s placed on this pedestal as this perfect child, but also kind of fighting to be the ‘best’ against her adoptive brother. Never really escaping those expectations until the very man who set them is placed in custody, and even then… that was her world. She doesn’t know a life outside of living up to the expectations of her father, and fighting tooth and nail for respect from everyone else.

Pearl Fey. Raised by her mother and expected to hold up the Fey name. Seen as this perfect little daughter who’ll have immense channeling capabilities and take on the family mantle. Having that same scenario of a parental figure placing high expectations on you… but having those unhealthy pressures removed at a much younger age than Franziska had. Escaping that mentally abusive environment at an age where she can still learn and develop a less warped view of the world, and put more faith into her new role models (ie Phoenix and Maya).

Pearl’s childhood is what Franziska’s really could have been had Von Karma’s crime been revealed a decade before it was. Had the truth of DL-6 emerged in its initial trial, her life would have mirrored Pearl’s. But instead, they’re direct foils.

[canisalbus]

Your art is so poignant and skillfully executed. I'm always excited to see what you create, and all the various influences that are revealed(or hidden) in each art piece.

That being said, I was not prepared for the sudden influx of Sad Dog x Bright Dog art you've been sharing recently! Machete having the potential of being loved and enjoying tenderness despite himself is one of The Best reveals of 2023. I enjoy how you express his relationship and struggles just as much as i enjoyed the stand alone pieces you've shared.

Thank you much for sharing the broader stories and pictures of your characters 💓

.

[fastcardotmp3]

Nancy Wheeler needs a steadier set of hands.

It’s a vital thing, the steadiness, and one which she’s prided herself on for a long time now, but in this moment? On this endless night? Nancy needs a steadier set of hands.

She stands along the wall, close to the door because it’s crowded beyond measure in the double-wide trailer that’s used primarily as a med center and because it’s hard enough to breathe during this conversation without direct access to an exit.

The fingers of her right hand tap against the side of her thigh, a discordant rhythm which her ballet instructors of her youth would have disparaged on the spot. Stay in time, Nancy! Don’t be so hesitant, Nancy! Did you forget how to count, Nancy?!

Her fingers tap, but the beat of her heart is not much better at keeping consistent time, so what is she meant to count along with? Where is the pace being set? Where is the music to guide her through this moment as her unsteady hands reach into the bag slung across her body and pull out a bottle of lake water, black as pitch and viscous?

Where is her partner in this pas de deux as the glass clatters with the uncontrollable force she uses to set it down on the table at the center of the room?

“Jesus Christ.”

“That’s our drinking water?”

“It looks like— like fuckin’ Venom.”

“What the hell is Venom, Henderson?”

“From Spider-Man? Symbiote alien from another planet and—”

“That’s our drinking water?”

Nancy stands against the wall.

She watches and she listens as they pass the bottle around, the glass face boasting Coca-Cola loud enough that it almost really does just look like a bottle of flat soda, and she chooses to let them bicker.

There was a time, some many months ago now, when Nancy would have walked in and at the very least pretended at enough confidence and certainty to convince everyone she had a plan and they would all be okay and they wouldn’t all die of thirst because the Upside Down and the entity controlling it has finally decided that direct action against their resources might be more efficient that sending monsters through the gates has been so far.

There was a time, indeed, when Nancy might have even felt such confidence, such certainty, but she can't remember that sensation now.

Not a sensory memory within her reach, not a modicum of cautious optimism born from a girl who had not yet learned the undeniable yearning of loss.

Nancy is here, as Joyce forces them all into some semblance of focus, kids and adults and the meeting of the two alike, but Nancy is also there.

Nancy is sixteen again, making a choice which changed her life, a choice she weighs in her hands during every moment of quiet, during every moment of noise too. If she had gotten in the car with Barb, would they have been able to outrun the forces of the Upside Down together?

Would Nancy simply have been dragged to her death with her best friend instead?

Is she fucked in the head for thinking both of those options may have been better than the reality?

“We need Max,” El is saying, arguing back against the sudden surge of insistence to fight. “When I can get through to Max, then we will have the upper hand.”

She says it a little stilted, a turn of phrase she's heard more than she's used, one which she likely only knows in this specific context.

Jonathan is standing beside her, close enough to offer visible support.

Eddie has a finger looped through the belt at Steve's waist, doing the same.

Robin sits beside Erica, Lucas on the other side of his sister, and Dustin pacing in the small space behind the couch.

Nancy leans against the wall by the door.

“We can't just wait around,” Steve shakes his head, almost in apology. “Vecna or— or the other thing, whatever's in charge at this point— it's making a play, right? That's what's happening? It's going on offense and we can't just keep playing defense, we have to actually make a play back.”

Nancy feels a headache brewing behind her eyes, clenches and unclenches her right hand in a fist to try and find something like stability. Fails at it.

“We've been holding our ground long enough,” Robin agrees with him boldly, “we understand how to fight back. If we catch him by surprise...”

“But can we? Catch him by surprise?” Lucas now, deep bags of grief under his eyes which Nancy understands all too well.

She wishes for him to never understand it as well as she does.

She wishes for a lot of things.

“He's baiting us,” Dustin shakes his head. “We tried that game with— with Max,” a thick swallow, “and he's mocking us with it. We should wait. We aren't ready.”

“It doesn't matter whether or not we're ready,” Nancy hears herself speaking and the way all those eyes turn on her is the sort of being seen she's avoided all her life.

Ever since she was a child, she hasn't been able to stomach people pretending to know her. Ever since she was a child it's been a form of control, a form of expectation, another set of rules she's had to conform to and she's goddamn tired of it.

She's really just so tired.

“It doesn't matter,” she shrugs, crosses her arms and grips at her biceps so no one can see the way her hands shake. “We'll never be ready, but if we wait long enough we will get weaker because we won't have water and we won't have food and it will be winter. He'll freeze us out before we can even try. It doesn't fucking matter.”

Things are escalating where the people of Hawkins are still trapped in the wasteland. In the midst of it, Nancy Wheeler finds catharsis, and maybe even hope. sequel to "that's just wasteland, baby!"

Ronance | 15.5k words | rated E

read on ao3

[excelsior9173]

i know after caramel we’re feeling kinda sad about the dancing references and “show me how to dance forever”

but- as someone who basically made dancing their entire personality for 14 years (and who cannot let go of that- because it is truly still such a major part of my life- everything is viewed through the lens of dance for me) i still hear a lot of hope in that phrase.

idk, dance is something that just. will never ever be connected to negativity in my mind- i cannot ever think of dancing as a bad thing. and it’s something humans do when we’re happy. hopeful. euphoric. vessel says he’ll keep dancing. and maybe instead of that being a prison (like the stage is), maybe that’s more of a battle cry?

“this life may not be what i had expected, the pitfalls are deep and scary, but i will continue to dance because i want to live and have hope and joy” he’s not just saying he’ll keep dancing because he’s told to- he said he’d keep dancing flat out. that’s a conscious decision. and perhaps “show me how to dance forever” is rather a plea for learning how to find the joy and love in it again. to bring it back to what it’s supposed to be. it’s like the third interlude from the tog tour- “let [death] bring you hope in one hand and fear in the other. it is asking you to dance with both after all”. there is no hope without fear. and he’s laid out his fears. now maybe it’s time for hope

idk. i’m just rambling. been planning a tattoo ever since this album cycle started because the smhtdf phrase hit me so hard. but to me that line is about hope. it’s about being hopeful that a happy future can be found. after all, who doesn’t want to feel light enough to dance through life?

[cassiaslair]

from i prevail's album, trauma ( 2019 ). slightly modified to fit dialogue prompts. if it's in parentheses, feel free to omit it.

bow down.

get on your knees & bow down.

i come alive, i'll survive, take on anything.

so paint a target on my back, let 'em come to me.

i'm on another level that you'll never reach.

if you seek forgiveness, you'll get nothing from me.

you will never know, it's the price i pay.

look into my eyes, we are not the same.

i'm in control, & you'll know my name.

i gave my life, gave it everything.

the best of your best ain't good enough.

keep running your mouth, & i'ma call your bluff.

so... i had this dream, it meant everything, & i watched it come alive.

i let you in, underneath my skin, & i learned to love the lies.

now i lay awake & i contemplate... have i become what i hate?

would you go to war? would you die for it?

paranoid.

something isn't right, i feel it in my bones.

every time i look around, it follows me home.

i get so stressed out when my head gets loud.

all this emptiness inside, i can't fill the void in my mind.

sometimes i just wanna die (wish that i could tell you why).

is it all inside my head?

i just can't escape the noise.

i think i'm paranoid.

every time you leave.

all i ever wanted was to find someone.

holding it together is the hardest part.

every time you leave, i lose a little piece of me.

every time we speak, words don't do it justice.

it's just us from here.

finishing the puzzle is the hardest part.

everyday wishin' you could stay, 'cause our minds may change, but our hearts remain.

i can't believe you gotta go away again.

if you ever start to hesitate & you feel the weight, it starts to break.

we're not the same; know that this means everything to me.

no one said life gets in the way.

rise above it.

i've been patiently waiting, tying my stomach in knots.

i've been lost in the moment, going to war with my thoughts.

if you're feeling the pressure, the pressure's all that i got.

so if you think you're ready, i'm here to tell you you're not.

you're in over your head.

i'll be damned if i ever let you get me again.

i will stop at nothing 'cause i was made to rise above it.

one of these days, everyone will know (but for now i stand alone).

i count my enemies like trophies.

i've got nothing left to prove.

when i look at you, all i see are trophies.

i'm not afraid to put it all on the line (like it runs in my veins).

you cannot stop me, so don't even try.

breaking down.

i think... i think too much.

i'm a little bit paranoid.

i think i'm breaking (down).

maybe it's in my blood.

hate every single second, minute, hour, every day.

everybody's out to get you.

every time they ask me, i just tell 'em that i'm fine.

i try to hide my demons, but they only multiply.

everybody fucking hates you.

i say i'm feeling hopeless, but no one's listening.

i don't really like myself.

DOA.

on our knees, we pray as we waste away.

we dig our grave, dead on arrival.

i close my eyes & contemplate on why i chose to be great.

i find myself trying to escape from where i'm supposed to be safe.

maybe i should pray like i'm supposed to be saved.

sometimes i feel like getting even, but i choose to behave.

i'm mentally locked in a prison (& i need bail).

i wish i was more flourished. i wish i had more courage.

i wonder if it's all worth it (i wonder...).

dead is the land of the free.

am i not worth saving?

gasoline.

let's burn it fucking down.

back from the dead to tell you that i'm alive.

killed the old way (but i survived).

fuck the blueprint.

death or exile, you decide.

tell 'em all that i made my name.

now it's mine to send up in flames.

this right here is as far as you go.

this right here is where i lose control.

burn it all down, i don't give a fuck.

fuck what they say, fuck everything.

kill it all (kill everything).

nothing but red inside when i close my eyes.

break or bow down, you decide.

tell 'em all that you can't be saved.

tell 'em all that you dug this grave.

learn to live in this mess you made.

hurricane.

tell me i was never good enough.

remind me of the demons that i've been running from.

tell me who the hell you thought i was.

just blame it on the person, the person i've become.

lately, i don't give a fuck.

i can't be myself when i'm with anyone.

(&) maybe, i'm already gone.

i'll never be the same.

it hit me like a hurricane.

i don't know why i drown my mind (in everything they say).

it got the best of me.

tell me that i'm lost inside my mind.

i reach out, but it's pulling me under.

remind me i've been searching for something i won't find.

tell me i was never worth the time.

just blame it on the person you think i left behind.

look into my eyes.

believe me that the storm is coming.

let me be sad.

i'm holding back right now.

('cause) i'm numb to what's around.

i miss the life i used to have (with you right here).

now everything is turning grey.

i'm blacking out the shades for now.

let me be sad.

let me be sad, even for a little while. just a chance to catch my breath.

let me be sad, even for a little while, 'cause it's all that i have left.

can you see it in my eyes, i've been distant?

i can't tell if it's the end or the beginning.

i know i haven't been myself, i'll admit it.

i put up walls so if i burned any bridges, just know i'm doing everything i can to try & fix it (but knowing me i'll probably miss it).

these voices get so vicious.

feels like i'm ripping stitches.

i wish some days i could go back (before life changed, it was so fast).

that time is gone, & i know that (so please, let me be sad).

when all i see are memories, i don't wanna lose a thing.

low.

i'm so damn low.

i can't lie, i'm falling (the floor gave out again).

the walls are caving in.

i've got these voices in my head.

i don't know why i'm broken.

my world is sinking in.

they tell me that i'm not enough.

is it my time?

even when i'm high, i still feel low.

voices in my head won't leave me alone.

i keep falling.

i'm in over my head again.

i'm on my own, i know it.

i think i'm too far gone to save.

i can't let go. i'm holding, i feel it slip away.

the more they say, the more they cut.

i'm hanging by a thread (don't know if i let go).

i'm doing everything i can to fix the problem.

this is how it feels when you hit rock bottom.

deadweight.

i'm cutting out the deadweight.

let me take a second to get this through to you.

it's time you get put in the rearview.

cut ties, there's nothing left to your lies, i'm seeing right through.

let me lay it out so it's clear for you to see.

i'm done with the ones that don't believe.

i'm cutting out the ones who drag me down.

all this negativity weighing down on me.

admit it's so pathetic to think i'd carry you.

i'd rather watch all the lows you sink to.

now i can see what you're really all about.

turn your back & run your mouth.

i laugh at all the time you wasted.

you're bitter, i can fucking taste it.

so if you think that you can drag me down, it's gonna come back around.

keep it up, motherfucker (i'll cut you out).

i don't belong here.

'cause i don't belong here.

those days, it was all i wanted.

nowadays, it feels all the same.

used to stare at my bedroom ceiling wishing everything would change.

now it's hard when you're always searching for the life that you left behind.

time disappears, year after year.

how the hell did i get here?

i feel so far away.

minutes turn to hours & the hours into days.

i gave up everything.

you don't know what you got until you throw it all away.

looking back on the past, all the time i wasted...

i'm running from everyone that tells me that i'm fading out.

must be mistaken 'cause i don't feel anything.

you know i got this brain, it drives me insane.

some days i feel i can't take the pain.

i can't explain it 'cause i don't need anything.