#HIDDEN INVENTORY ARC! (said through tears)

[jasmineoolongtea]

i wish i hated you - geto suguru

"wish there was worse to you, i wish that you were worse to me"

contents: geto suguru x gn!reader, lovers to exes, angst, hurt + comfort, hurt + no comfort, following the events of the hidden inventory arc, gojo and shoko appearance as well

summary: it's been a few weeks since your seemingly happy relationship with geto came to and end in the blink of an eye, leaving you reeling from the aftershock. now tasked with cleaning up your dorm for graduation, you're sent down an unfortunate trip down memory lane of your and suguru's relationship and end after his departure.

wc: 2.4k ish

a/n: inspired by i wish i hated you by ariana grande. even though i do like writing fluff, my true passion is actually angst, especially writing gut-wrenching angst to sad music. hope you guys enjoy this one and any likes, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated <33

A clean breakup. No tears, no snot, no painful begging to rethink the other's actions or to fight for whatever was left of the relationship. "It was better this way." He said, "We're not like those other couples, we're better than that." All you could do was nod as the knot at the bottom of your throat began to constrict itself into a weight that felt like it was going to drag you down with it.

What if you weren't better than them, you would think to yourself late at night. It wasn't like you were asking for a massive breakup fight like one straight from the movies, screaming and crying at each other through a thunderstorm, broken plates being tossed around haphazardly with you two spitting venomous insults at each other. You just wish that at least it ended like it was something, rather than nothing but even in your dreams, all you can find yourself doing is repeating the mistakes of your past as you stand there frozen in place, watching as his silhouette fades into the foggy recesses of your mind.

No matter where you went, it felt like you were constantly haunted by his presence, or whatever remained of it at this point. Hell, even your room didn't feel like it belonged to you anymore. You were a temporary guest that drifted through its old walls that echoed the haunted past of happier days, where you would lay with Suguru under the blankets, whispering sweet nothings, until both of you fell asleep. Every single thing in that room had been touched by him, in both a metaphorical and literal sense, to the point where if you closed your eyes hard enough, you swear you could feel him hovering in front of you. In times like those, you foolishly reach out to see if you steal back a few seconds of happiness, to see if you can experience his touch for only a fleeting second but are only met with nothing but the cold, empty silence around you.

If it was up to you, you would take nothing from your room when the time came. Ideally, it would become a time capsule, perfectly preserved to the point where you could still see the shadows of a not-so-distant past dance across the walls once the sun had set. Maybe once in a while, you would find yourself there again, making your way towards the bed that barely smells like him anymore and curl up to the memories of days when you and him would plan your futures together.

"Suguru," he hums in response, his back towards you as you card your fingers through his raven locks from the mattress behind him. "What are your thoughts on getting a pet together?"

"I could see us getting a cat together in the future." He replies, leaning his head against the mattress. "Actually, I could see us doing a lot of things in future."

At his words, your attention was immediately peaked as you let go of his hair and rearranged yourself on the cramped bed to lay on your stomach, arms wrapping around his neck as you silently implored him to continue on. He smiles softly at your antics.

"I could see us moving out of this dorm and into our own apartment where we could bribe Satoru and Shoko to become our very own moving company." You giggle to yourself at the thought. Good for you guys that your friends were so transparent with their wants. "Maybe in a few years down the line, we might decide to take the next step and at our high school reunion we would show off our matching rings." You murmur a few words of approval at his vision of the future. You could see it, stretching your left hand out in front of you as you envision a delicate ring resting upon your ring finger, a constant reminder of the love between you two. His gaze lands upon your outstretched hand and reaches up to intertwine his fingers with yours. Suguru starts rubbing circles around your ring finger as if testing how it would feel to be met with the coolness of a metal band around it instead of just the softness of your skin. Gently, he brings your hand up to his lips, placing a chaste kiss against your interlaced hands that elicits a shy giggle from you.

"A few years more, we might even have kids." He says suddenly, looking off into the distance through your dorm window.

You raise an eyebrow at him, curious about where he was planning to go with his vision. "Oh yeah? How many?" You question. It wasn't like you were necessarily thinking about having kids when you were barely on the border of adulthood. However, if you ever were going to raise children with anyone, you think you would want it to be with Suguru.

"I think 2 would be nice. Both girls." It sounds like he's thought a lot about this, considering how resolute his response is. You choose not to comment on though, despite feeling your cheeks grow with warmth at the thought of him taking so much care to plan his future out with you down to a detail like this. Sensing that you were starting to get lost in thought, he gave your hand a slight nudge. "What do you think?"

"I think it'd be nice." You respond back, leaning further forward to rest your head upon his shoulder. Seemingly satisfied with your answer, Suguru gives your cheek a soft kiss before standing up from his position on the floor. Your hands are still interlocked as he hovers above you, pointing towards you on your bed. He always does this. Ever since you guys started dating and even before this, he always asked for permission to enter your space. He does this with 3 knocks on your door when he wants to come into your room, a shy tap on your shoulder when he wants to pull you closer to him and a point towards your bed whenever he wants to clamber in with you. You've told him before that he doesn't need to do this. To you, your space is basically his space at this point and he's always a welcomed guest. He only brushes off your comment with a simple smile and a brief kiss against your lips and continues on with this habit. Even now, with everything that had transpired, you think you would still let him in no matter how long it was since he came knocking.

Using your grip on him, you pull him down onto the mattress with you, shuffling back to the point where your back is against the wall as he rests his head against the pillow. Suguru opens his arms, inviting you into his embrace which you gladly accept with your head now resting against his chest. His arms encircle your figure as you listen to the steady rhythm of his heart lull you into a sense of security. In this room, between these papered walls, is a sanctuary that the two of you had carved out for each other with your bare hands. Though you had only known Suguru for 3 years and were only dating for 2 of those years, you don't think you could ever fall asleep or feel even as safe without hearing, feeling and sensing the steady drum of his heart right next to you.

You knew first-hand how draining the world of jujutsu and curses was, even more so for those who were first-grade or special-grade sorcerers, and so it always warmed your heart knowing that Suguru was comfortable enough to relax around you. You could physically see how his shoulders would sag with relief every time he saw you safe and sound and you let yourself believe that with every brush of his hair and every soft touch, you were pulling away all the tension and stress away from him. It wasn't enough as you would soon come to find out and maybe, it would have never been enough.

The memory is only temporary. Like all memories are really. Just a recollection of the past and its ensuing ghosts. Holding out for a second longer in this state of limbo between reality and your mind won't make the memory last longer. You know this, but it doesn't stop you from trying to squeeze your eyes shut just a bit tighter hoping that you might be able to grasp onto its tendrils for just a bit longer. Eventually, you give up on trying and get up from your curled-up position on the bed. The sheets are crumpled but there's only the indentation of you on its surface, the usual presence of the second one now long gone.

As you begin to undertake the arduous task of cleaning out your closet, it dawns on you how much stuff that was left behind by Suguru. Prior to this, you thought that it would be you and him spending a lazy afternoon here cleaning it out before you moved into your shared apartment, reminiscing on the glory of your high school days together. Hell, you even entertained the idea that Suguru might have ransacked the room for his belongings when he decided to up and leave that night. It would have spared you all this pain of dredging up old memories. You never thought that it would be you who was cleaning it up alone.

If this was a normal breakup, you would pack his things up into a tidy little box and ship it off to wherever he was in the world with a note wishing him the best for his future endeavours. Out of sight and out of mind, you would think to yourself as you did it. Or maybe if you were more the vengeful type, you would throw a match onto it and watch with a cheap can of beer from the convenience store, the ones that you would always complain tasted like nothing but foam, in hand as the flames burned away remnants of the past. You could even picture Shoko taking a sip with you as you two both sat in silence. But you could never do that. No matter how badly you wanted to, even if it was a small mercy you could have afforded yourself.

A lot of this would be easier if you would dare to take that more permanent step of trying to erase him from your life. It would be a lot easier if you could understand why he chose to do this, breaking up with you days before he went to that village. You thought you two were happy, at least on your end you were. You think about what you've heard about how he ended things with Satoru. Why did he have to be so good with you until the end? When you broke down crying on that day, he turned around in his step and sat with you on a bench while you melted into a blubbering mess. He didn't need to do that. He wasn't your boyfriend anymore. He wasn't even your friend anymore with how he worded his goodbye. "It's better for us if we don't talk after this." was what he said. Yet, despite all of that, he still remained with you, rubbing soothing circles on your back whilst you sobbed against his chest. The next thing you remember from that day was waking up in your bed, eyes red and swollen, a dry throat and tucked into your bed with a glass of water on your nightstand.

It's not like you haven't tried to be angry at him. You think back to a few days ago when you tried to destroy some of the origami cranes that Suguru folded for you and left on your desk. According to Shoko, she said that stuff like that could be "cathartic for the soul." though you're pretty sure she stole that quote from a poster advertising a rage room. When you asked him why he did that late one night, he was as cryptic as ever, only sending you a soft smile as he started to fold another one right after finishing the first. You later found out from Satoru that he was planning to fold a thousand of them as he wanted to wish for your happiness and safety, he only got to about 20 before he left. It only took ripping up the first one for you to immediately regret your actions. Whatever anger there was in you dissipated the second you saw the shredded and butchered remains of the crane in your hands. Apparently, when Satoru and Shoko came to check in on you, it was already sunrise and you were still sitting there at your desk, trying to glue together whatever was left of the paper at that point.

All emotions felt manufactured to you when it came to Suguru. If you couldn't be angry at him, then you thought that you could be annoyed but that was a failure as well when you realised that it was a fault of your own that you didn't speak up when you had the chance to voice your thoughts to him. Regret wasn't an option as well because if anyone would ask if you regret meeting Suguru then your answer would be a resounding no. You wouldn't trade your time with him for anything. Trying to be happy could never work when you felt like there was a gaping, empty hole in your chest from where someone had ripped out the Suguru-shaped piece that managed to worm its way into there. Every time you put on a smile, it's like a failed imitation of what one pictures a smile to be, making you out to be a fraud amongst the sea of people who were still intact.

In all honesty, all your problems would be solved if you hated Suguru Geto. Then, just maybe, there was a sliver of a chance that you wouldn't feel burdened by all this pain and yearning for what once was and what could have been. It would be easier if he was worse, but that could never be that because that wasn't who he was. He was someone who cared for those around him with every beat of his bleeding heart, too much if you asked those close to him to the point where he would try to shoulder the weight of their world tenfold. Just like how there could not be worse things about him, you could never hate Geto Suguru despite everything.

[mononijikayu]

quiet eyes — geto suguru.

He took in the image of you, one that has matured, has grown, has changed over the course of a decade. Yet there was something in his eyes, a conflict, when he looked at you. You didn’t understand why, you didn’t understand where it came from but you didn’t say anything. You just let this moment stay as it was. You let your eyes quietly take in how he has grown in these years. And you know, he was doing the same with you.

GENRE: Pre-Hidden Inventory Arc to Post-Hidden Inventory Arc, 1997 to 2010;

WARNING/s: Alternate Universe ─ Canon Divergence, Romance, Young Love, First Love, Emotional Hurt, Domestic Life, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Pining, Friends to Lovers, Grief, Long Distance Relationship, Break-Up , Reconciliation, Closure, Past Lives, Emotional Turmoil, Trauma, Depiction of Physical Touch, Depiction of Mental Anguish, Depiction of Depression, Depiction of Parenthood;

masterlist

song: quiet eyes by sharon van etten

note: i wrote this after sobbing to a rewatch of celine song's past lives and i realized, its so suguru coded and this is what i came up with. my friend did the beta read and they said i should stop writing for their mental health cause they sobbed about it!!! anyway, i hope you guys enjoy it!!! i love you all~

YOU SOMEHOW ALWAYS GET LOST.  It was New Year’s Eve again, a night you eagerly anticipated each year. You wore your best winter coat, its soft, warm fabric wrapping around you like a comforting embrace. The streets were alive with festive energy, and your hand was firmly clasped in your mother’s as you navigated the lively crowd. This annual visit to the shrine was a cherished tradition—a time to pray to the gods for a good year and wish for a bountiful year ahead. 

The shrine was adorned with vibrant decorations, and the air was filled with the tantalizing scents of festival foods. Lanterns hung from every tree branch, casting a magical glow that made the snow glisten like a blanket of tiny diamonds. As you and your mother approached the shrine, you could hear the rhythmic beating of taiko drums and the joyful chatter of families and friends coming together to celebrate.

After making your way through the crowd, you and your mother finally reached the shrine. You joined the line of people waiting to offer their prayers. Your mother guided you through the familiar ritual—ringing the bell, clapping your hands, and bowing deeply. Together, you prayed for health, happiness, and prosperity, the wishes echoing in the silent spaces of your hearts.

Once your prayers were done, you and your mother decided to explore the festival. There were so many stalls, each one more fascinating than the last. You were particularly captivated by a booth selling colorful masks and another with a game where you could win goldfish.

Amidst the excitement, you noticed a beautiful display of kites. Entranced, you let go of your mother’s hand for just a moment, stepping closer to get a better look. When you turned back, she was nowhere in sight. Panic surged through you, and the festive sounds around you became a blur of noise as you called out for her, your voice lost in the sea of revelers.

Tears began to well up in your eyes as you frantically searched for any familiar face. It felt as if the world was closing in around you. One moment, you were holding her hand tightly, and the next, you were adrift in a crowd of unfamiliar faces. Panic set in as you called out for her, your voice swallowed by the cacophony of the celebration. Tears welled up in your eyes, and you felt a sinking feeling of helplessness.

Just as the world seemed to close in around you, a gentle voice broke through your anxiety.

"Hey, are you okay?"

You turned to see a boy about your age with kind and warm purple eyes and a reassuringly graceful smile. His dark hair framed his face, and he carried an air of calmness that immediately put you at ease. This young boy, his name was Geto Suguru, though you didn't know his name yet.

"I... I can't find my mom," you stammered, your voice trembling, wiping your tears away.

Geto's expression softened with understanding. "It's okay. I'll stay with you until we find her. Don't worry."

He took your hand in his, and together, you began to navigate the crowd. Despite the chaos around you, Geto's presence made you feel safe. He chatted with you, asking about your favorite games and food, distracting you from your fear. You found yourself laughing at his jokes and stories, the tension slowly easing from your shoulders.

As you wandered, Geto kept an eye out for anyone who might be looking for you. He was patient and kind, never letting go of your hand. His maturity and kindness were far beyond his years, and you were in awe of him. He seemed so composed, so generous, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of admiration. There were stars in your eyes as you watched him interact with others, his gentle demeanor and thoughtful actions standing out amidst the bustling crowd.

You wondered if you could ever be like him—so good, so tender, so mature. The way he handled the situation with such grace and calmness inspired you. You admired his ability to stay composed and kind, even when faced with the daunting task of helping a stranger in distress. It made you aspire to be better, to embody those same qualities of compassion and maturity.

As the festival began to wind down and the crowd thinned out, Geto reached into his pocket and pulled out a small flip phone. With practiced ease, he dialed his mother's number, his fingers moving swiftly over the keypad. After a few moments, he brought the phone to his ear, his expression tense with anticipation.

"Mom?" he said, his voice soft but urgent. "I'm at the shrine. Can you come pick me up? I found someone who got separated from their mom."

As he spoke, you watched Geto's face, noting the concern etched into his features. Despite his calm demeanor, you could tell that he was worried about his own mother's reaction. But to your relief, his expression softened as he listened to the voice on the other end of the line.

"Okay, I'll wait here," Geto replied, his voice tinged with relief. "Thank you, Mom."

With a click, he closed the phone and slipped it back into his pocket. Turning to you, he offered a reassuring smile. "My mom is on her way. She'll be here soon."

True to his word, within minutes, a woman appeared in the distance, her face a mixture of concern and relief as she hurried toward you both. Geto's mother enveloped him in a tight hug, her eyes brimming with tears as she whispered words of reassurance.

"Suguru, are you okay? What happened?" she asked, her voice trembling with emotion.

Geto explained the situation, recounting how he had found you wandering alone in the crowd and stayed by your side until help arrived. His mother listened intently, her expression softening with pride as she looked at her son.

"You did the right thing, Suguru," she said, her voice filled with warmth and affection. "I'm so proud of you."

Together, Geto and his mother welcomed you both, offering words of comfort and reassurance. They stayed with you until your own mother arrived, her face a mixture of relief and gratitude as she hugged you tightly.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice choked with emotion. "I don't know what we would have done without you and your son."

Geto's mother smiled warmly, her eyes shining with kindness. "It was no trouble at all. I'm just glad we could help."

As the evening drew to a close and the festival began to wind down, it was time for you and Geto Suguru to part ways. You approached him, a mixture of gratitude and reluctance filling your heart. Geto turned to you, his gentle smile putting you at ease even as you felt a pang of sadness at the thought of saying goodbye.

"Thank you so much." you said, your voice filled with sincerity. "I don't know what I would have done without you."

Geto's smile widened, his eyes sparkling with warmth. "It was nothing, really," he replied modestly. "I'm just glad I could help."

Your mom whispers to you, that you should go home and get some rest. You nodded at her and you watched that boy wave his hand at you. You nodded back at him. You turn your back on him. But it was then, you gasp and turn around and run towards him, causing him to gasp as you lean against his personal space. 

"Hey, what's your name?" you asked, your curiosity getting the better of you.

"Geto Suguru," he replied, blinking as his voice responded softly.

You nodded, committing his name to memory. You introduced yourself too, extending your hand in friendship. He smiled at you, his purple eyes turning brightly back at you.

Geto shook your hand, his grip firm and reassuring. "It's nice to meet you," he said, a genuine smile lighting up his face. 

“It’s nice to meet you too.” You gleefully say back to him, grinning.

"I hope we meet again someday," Geto said, his voice tinged with sincerity.

You smiled back at him, your heart feeling lighter knowing that even though you were saying goodbye for now, there was a chance that your paths might cross again in the future.

"Me too," you replied, the words carrying a promise of friendship and possibility.

With a final wave, you and Geto went your separate ways, the memory of your chance encounter lingering in your thoughts long after the festival had ended. And as you made your way home, getting ready for bed, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the unexpected friendship. You think that this will fill your heart with joy for a long time.  One that had brightened your New Year's celebration and left a lasting imprint on your heart.

You lay in bed, moving to your side and closing your eyes.

You wonder if the gods would allow you one more wish.

You wish you could meet Geto Suguru when you wake up.

WHEN YOU MEET SUGURU AGAIN, IT WAS MIDDLE SCHOOL. The first day of middle school was a whirlwind of excitement and nerves, a kaleidoscope of emotions swirling through the air like leaves caught in a gentle breeze. As you stepped through the doors of the school, you were greeted by the lively buzz of students reuniting after the summer break, their voices rising and falling in a symphony of anticipation.

The corridors echoed with the sound of footsteps echoing on the linoleum floors, punctuated by the occasional burst of laughter or excited chatter. Lockers slammed shut with a metallic clang, backpacks were slung over shoulders, and pencils were nervously tapped against desks as students settled into their new classrooms.

Amidst the hustle and bustle, you couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation tinged with a hint of apprehension. Everything felt new and unfamiliar—the layout of the school, the faces of your classmates, the rhythm of the day unfolding before you.

As you made your way to your first class, you were met with a whirlwind of activity—a flurry of introductions, syllabus handouts, and icebreaker games designed to break the ice and ease the transition into the new academic year. The air crackled with energy as teachers and students alike embraced the opportunity for a fresh start, eager to embark on the journey that lay ahead.

In the hushed stillness of the classroom, amidst the shuffling of papers and the murmur of conversations, you found yourself unable to resist stealing short glances across the room. There, amidst the sea of unfamiliar faces, your eyes locked onto a figure that seemed oddly familiar—a flash of recognition igniting a spark of curiosity within you.

As the pieces fell into place, a realization washed over you like a wave crashing against the shore—it was Geto Suguru. The same Geto Suguru who had once been your companion in childhood, the same Geto Suguru who had shared in moments of laughter and understanding during that fateful New Year's festival all those years ago.

Your lips parted in silent astonishment as you stood there, a sense of wonderment enveloping you like a warm embrace. It was as if fate itself had intervened, weaving your paths together once more in a way that felt almost predestined—a serendipitous twist of fate that defied explanation yet felt undeniably right.

The realization that you and Geto were classmates filled you with a sense of awe and gratitude, the threads of destiny drawing you together in a way that transcended the boundaries of time and space. It was as if the universe had conspired to reunite you, stitching together the fabric of your lives in a way that felt both miraculous and inevitable.

In that moment of silent awe, a wave of comfort washed over you, soothing the fluttering nerves that had danced in your stomach upon realizing that Geto Suguru was indeed your classmate once more. It had been so long since you had seen him, since the days of childhood innocence and carefree laughter. And yet, despite the passage of time, the bond you shared felt as strong and immutable as ever.

With each step you took towards him, the distance between you seemed to shrink, bridging the gap that had separated you for so long. The morning light cast a soft glow upon his features, illuminating the contours of his face and the subtle changes that time had wrought. You couldn't help but notice how he had grown taller since you last saw him, how his frame had filled out with the promise of adulthood. His hair, once a tousled mop of unruly curls, was now neatly tied back in a bun, accentuating the angular lines of his jaw and the intensity of his gaze.

As you drew closer, you couldn't help but marvel at the transformation that had taken place—the way he had grown more beautiful and handsome with each passing year. There was a quiet strength in the set of his shoulders, a confidence in the way he carried himself that spoke of maturity and self-assurance. And yet, beneath the veneer of adulthood, you could still see traces of the boy you had known—the same warmth in his eyes, the same kindness in his smile.

In that moment, as you stood before him, the years melted away, leaving behind only the essence of your shared history and the promise of new beginnings.

"Geto–kun?" you uttered softly, the name slipping from your lips almost instinctively. 

Geto's gaze met yours, his expression mirroring your own sense of surprise and recognition. "Oh, it’s you!" he replied, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Fancy seeing you here."

You couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder at the serendipitous twist of fate that had brought you together once again. "I can't believe we're in the same class," you exclaimed, a hint of excitement in your voice. “After all this time, huh?”

"Yeah, it's pretty wild," Geto agreed, his eyes bright with a mixture of disbelief and amusement.

As the realization sank in, a flood of memories from your childhood encounter at the New Year's festival came rushing back. The shared laughter, the moments of quiet understanding—it all felt like a lifetime ago, yet here you were, reunited once again in the most unexpected of places.

"It's like fate brought us together," you mused, a sense of awe coloring your words.

Geto nodded, a thoughtful expression crossing his features. "Maybe it did," he replied, his voice tinged with a hint of wonder.

As you pondered the serendipitous nature of your reunion, a faint smile played at the corners of Geto's lips, mirroring the quiet sense of wonder that danced in his eyes.

"It's strange how life works sometimes," he continued, his voice soft and contemplative. "The way it brings people back into our lives when we least expect it."

You nodded in agreement, feeling a sense of kinship with Geto as you shared in the mystery of fate's guiding hand. "Yeah, it's like we were meant to find each other again," you remarked, a sense of certainty settling within you like a comforting embrace.

For a moment, the two of you stood in companionable silence, lost in the quiet beauty of the moment. The bustling classroom faded into the background, leaving behind only the warmth of shared memories and the promise of new beginnings.

"I'm glad we did," Geto said softly, his gaze meeting yours with a depth of understanding that resonated deep within your soul.

"Me too," you replied, a genuine smile gracing your lips as you felt the weight of the years slip away, leaving behind only the simple joy of reconnecting with an old friend.

As the bell rang, signaling the start of the day's lessons, you and Geto exchanged a knowing glance, silently acknowledging the significance of this unexpected reunion. And as you took your seats side by side, a sense of anticipation filled the air, carrying with it the promise of friendship and camaraderie that would endure far beyond the confines of the classroom walls.

You looked at him for a moment. 

His glance turns back at you too.

You smiled at him, he smiled at you.

You felt your face turn red for a moment.

Has his smile always looked this beautiful?

YOU BOTH WENT IN DIFFERENT SCHOOLS IN HIGH SCHOOL.Watching Suguru step into his new chapter at Jujutsu High filled you with a complex array of emotions. Pride swelled within you as you witnessed him embark on this journey he had long dreamed of. His determination, his dedication—it was inspiring to see him pursue his passion with such fervor and commitment. Yet, intertwined with that pride was a profound sense of longing, a yearning for his presence that tugged at your heartstrings with each passing moment.

The prospect of being apart from Suguru, even temporarily, casts a shadow over your excitement. The thought of not having him by your side, of not being able to share in each other's daily joys and struggles, left an ache in your chest that was difficult to ignore. As much as you wanted him to succeed and thrive at Jujutsu High, the prospect of being separated from him weighed heavily on your heart.

Every time you thought about Suguru navigating the challenges of his new school, facing dangerous cursed spirits and confronting the unknown, a wave of worry washed over you. You couldn't help but fret over his safety, over the dangers he might encounter in his quest to become a jujutsu sorcerer. The distance between you only amplified these fears, leaving you feeling helpless and vulnerable.

You had always known about Suguru's ability to see cursed spirits. You had witnessed firsthand the toll it took on him—the sleepless nights, the restless tossing and turning as his mind wrestled with the dark entities that plagued his existence. And though he always reassured you that he was fine, that he could handle it on his own, you couldn't help but worry about him.

As you sat together in Suguru's childhood bedroom, the dim glow of the bedside lamp casting shadows across the walls, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled in the air. Suguru had just confided in you about his ability to see cursed spirits, a revelation that sent a chill down your spine.

"I've always been able to see them," Suguru admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "Ever since I was a child."

You listened intently as Suguru recounted his experiences, describing the terrifying visions that haunted his nights and the relentless whispers that echoed in his mind. It was as if he were living in a nightmare, trapped in a world where darkness lurked around every corner.

"And the worst part is," Suguru continued, his expression haunted, "I can't escape them. No matter where I go, they're always there, lurking in the shadows."

Your heart ached at the pain etched into Suguru's features, the weight of his burden evident in every word he spoke. You had witnessed firsthand the toll it took on him—the sleepless nights, the restless tossing and turning as his mind wrestled with the dark entities that plagued his existence.

"I'm fine, really," Suguru assured you, sensing your concern. "I've learned to live with it. But sometimes...sometimes it's hard to bear."

In that moment, as you gazed into Suguru's weary eyes, a surge of empathy washed over you. You couldn't begin to imagine the horrors he faced on a daily basis, the constant battle against forces beyond his control. Yet, despite the darkness that threatened to consume him, Suguru remained steadfast, his resilience a testament to his strength of character.

Wrapping your arms around him, you pulled Suguru close, offering whatever comfort you could in the face of his suffering. "You don't have to face this alone," you whispered, your voice filled with determination. "I'll be here for you, no matter what."

But amidst the whirlwind of emotions, there was a glimmer of hope—a deep-seated belief that no matter the distance, your bond with Suguru would endure. You clung to the memories you shared, the moments of laughter and love that had forged an unbreakable connection between you. And though the road ahead might be fraught with challenges and obstacles, you knew that together, you and Suguru could overcome anything.

So, as you watched him stride confidently into the halls of Jujutsu High, a sense of determination took root within you. You would weather this storm of separation, you would support Suguru from afar, and you would eagerly await the day when you could be reunited once more. For now, all you could do was hold onto the love you shared, trusting in its power to bridge the distance and keep your hearts connected, no matter where life may lead.

One thing that particularly concerned you was his aversion to the taste of cursed energy. Whenever he mentioned it, a pang of anxiety would grip your heart, knowing that he was enduring something unpleasant just to fulfill his duty as a jujutsu sorcerer.

Despite the distance between you, Suguru made sure to keep you updated on his well-being. He would send you messages whenever he had a free moment, sharing snippets of his day and letting you know that he was okay. And on his rare free days, you would make it a point to meet up with him, cherishing every precious moment you had together.

Your dates were a welcome respite from the challenges of long-distance, a chance for you to reconnect and strengthen your bond despite the miles that separated you. Whether it was a leisurely stroll through the park, a cozy dinner at your favorite restaurant, or simply spending quality time together at home, every moment with Suguru was a treasure to be cherished.

And though the distance between you was daunting at times, your love for each other remained steadfast and unwavering. Together, you navigated the ups and downs of long-distance with grace and resilience, knowing that no matter the obstacles you faced, your love would always endure.

As you and Suguru sat across from each other in a cozy café, the soft glow of candlelight casting a warm ambiance around you, you found yourselves catching up on each other's lives. Suguru had just finished recounting his latest adventures at Jujutsu High, regaling you with tales of intense training sessions and encounters with formidable curses. 

"It sounds like you've been keeping busy," you remarked with a smile, sipping on your latte. "How are things going at the school?"

Suguru nodded, his expression thoughtful. "It's challenging, but I'm managing," he replied, his tone calm and composed. "The training can be rigorous, but I'm learning a lot."

You nodded, though a hint of concern flickered in your eyes. "And what about the jujutsu sorcery? Is it... difficult?"

Suguru's gaze met yours, and for a moment, you thought you detected a shadow of hesitation in his eyes. But then, he offered you a reassuring smile. "It's not easy, but I'm okay," he assured you. "I've got some great teachers and classmates who help me out."

Despite his words, a knot of worry tightened in your chest. You had seen firsthand the toll that dealing with cursed spirits could take on Suguru, and while you trusted in his strength and resilience, you couldn't help but wonder if he was truly alright. 

"I'm glad to hear that you're getting support," you said, reaching across the table to gently place your hand on his. "But if things ever get too tough, if you ever need someone to talk to..."

Suguru's fingers intertwined with yours, his touch warm and reassuring. "Thank you," he said softly, his gaze sincere. "I appreciate that more than you know."

As you sat together in that intimate moment, the flickering candlelight casting dancing shadows across your faces, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together. With Suguru by your side, you felt a sense of strength and comfort that filled you with unwavering hope for the future. And as you leaned in to share a tender kiss, the worries of the world melted away, leaving only the warmth of your love and the promise of tomorrow.

As the year 2007 progressed, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss between you and Suguru. It started with small changes—missed calls, delayed responses to messages, and last-minute cancellations of plans. At first, you brushed it off, attributing it to his busy schedule with missions and training at Jujutsu High. He had a duty to that after all. You never questioned him about it.

But as time went on, Suguru's behavior became more pronounced. He became increasingly distant, avoiding your attempts to spend time together and offering vague excuses about being swamped with work. When you did manage to hang out, you couldn't ignore the noticeable shift in his demeanor. He seemed withdrawn, his usually vibrant energy replaced with a palpable sense of exhaustion.

Concern gnawed at your heart as you watched Suguru's health deteriorate before your eyes. "Suguru, are you okay?" you asked gently one evening, unable to ignore the worry that twisted in your gut.

He waved off your concern with a forced smile. "I'm fine, just tired from all the missions," he replied, his voice strained. "Don't worry about me."

But you couldn't shake the feeling that something deeper was troubling him. "Suguru, please," you insisted, reaching out to touch his arm. "You don't seem okay. Talk to me."

His expression darkened, and for a moment, you saw a flash of frustration in his eyes. "I said I'm fine," he snapped, pulling away from your touch. "You don't need to keep asking."

The tension between you simmered beneath the surface, unresolved and heavy with unspoken words. "I just want to help," you murmured, your voice tinged with hurt. "But I can't do that if you won't let me in."

Suguru's jaw tensed, his gaze hardening. "I don't need your help," he retorted, his tone sharp with irritation. "I can handle things on my own."

The words stung like a knife to your heart, leaving you reeling with a sense of rejection. "But I care about you, Suguru," you whispered, your voice cracking with emotion. "I can't just stand by and watch you suffer."

A heavy silence settled between you, thick with unresolved tension and unspoken fears. In that moment, you realized that despite your love for Suguru, you were powerless to ease his pain if he refused to let you in. And as the weight of his distance pressed down upon you like a suffocating blanket, you couldn't help but wonder if your relationship could weather this storm—or if it was destined to crumble beneath the weight of unspoken truths and untold secrets.

The air crackled with tension as Suguru's conflicted emotions waged war within him. He wanted to reach out, to grasp onto your comforting presence, but the weight of his burdens held him back like chains around his heart. Each moment spent in your company only served to amplify his guilt and shame, reminders of the facade he was desperately trying to maintain.

"I'm sorry," Suguru murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, his eyes cast downward in shame. "I just... I can't do this anymore."

Your heart clenched at his words, aching with the pain of impending loss. "What do you mean?" you asked, your voice trembling with fear.

Suguru shook his head, unable to meet your gaze. "I can't keep pretending like everything's okay when it's not," he admitted, his words heavy with resignation. "I need to figure things out on my own."

The finality of his words hung in the air like a heavy shroud, suffocating any hope of reconciliation. Tears welled in your eyes as you struggled to comprehend the sudden unraveling of your relationship, the dreams you had woven together now torn asunder by the cruel hand of fate.

"I understand," you whispered, your voice choked with emotion, though the pain of acceptance felt like a dagger to your heart. "I just wish... I wish things could have been different."

Suguru's shoulders slumped in defeat, his own anguish mirrored in the depths of his gaze. "So do I." he admitted, his voice thick with unshed tears. "But sometimes... sometimes it's better to let go than to hold on to something that's already broken. I can’t hurt you more than I already have.”

Your heart clenched at his words, each syllable a dagger piercing through the fragile remnants of your shattered dreams. The weight of his pain, his self-imposed exile, bore down upon you with suffocating force, leaving you gasping for breath in the wake of his confession.

"Suguru, please..." you pleaded, your voice cracking with emotion, reaching out for him as if to bridge the ever-widening chasm between you. "Don't shut me out. We can work through this together."

But Suguru's resolve remained steadfast, his gaze haunted by the ghosts of his past and the specter of his uncertain future. "I can't," he whispered, his voice barely audible above the tumult of your emotions. "I need to do this alone."

Tears welled in your eyes as you watched him turn away, his silhouette fading into the darkness with each step. The ache of his absence echoed in the hollow chambers of your heart, a void that seemed impossible to fill.

As the weight of his absence settled over you like a heavy blanket, you couldn't help but wonder if this was truly the end. If the love you had once shared was destined to fade into nothingness, swallowed whole by the vast expanse of time and distance.

But even as you grappled with the pain of separation, a flicker of hope danced in the recesses of your soul. Perhaps, in letting go, you would find the strength to heal, to move forward, to forge a new path untethered by the chains of the past.

Heavy heart and tear-stained cheeks, you whispered.

The sound of silent farewells shuddered in the cold air.

You try to live through the ashes of your broken dreams.

But you would be fine, you knew you would be one day.

Suguru loved you enough to bear the weight of the world.

THINGS CHANGED OVER NINE YEARS.  You couldn't shake the feeling that you'd never truly move on from Suguru. His presence lingered in the recesses of your mind, a constant reminder of what once was and what could have been. But life was relentless in its forward march, indifferent to your heartache and longing. You knew you had to move on, to carve out a path for yourself in a world that would keep spinning regardless of your pain.

In the days and weeks that followed, tears became a familiar companion, each drop a silent tribute to the love you had lost. But with time, you found solace in the gentle rhythm of life's ebb and flow. You learned to navigate the world with a newfound resilience, allowing the pain of your past to shape you into someone stronger, someone more resilient than you ever thought possible.

As the days turned into months and the months into years, you grew around the grief in your heart, like a vine winding its way around a sturdy tree. You became a new person—a version of yourself that your past self would hardly recognize. You embraced new experiences, pursued your passions with unwavering determination, and forged connections with those who filled your life with light and warmth.

And though Suguru would always hold a special place in your heart, you came to understand that moving on didn't mean forgetting or erasing the past. It meant honoring the memories you shared while making space for new beginnings, new adventures, and new love to bloom.

As you navigated the bustling streets of Tokyo, the weight of your responsibilities pressed heavily upon your shoulders. The city buzzed with activity, a stark contrast to the whirlwind of emotions churning within you. In the nine years since parting ways with Suguru, life had taken unexpected turns, leading you down paths you never imagined traversing.

Becoming a mother had been the greatest joy amidst the tumultuous journey of life. The moment your son entered the world, a surge of indescribable love washed over you, eclipsing the pain of your past and filling your heart with boundless happiness. Holding him in your arms for the first time, you knew that your life would never be the same—that every sacrifice, every struggle, was worth it for the sake of this precious new life. 

You had always wanted a life like this with Suguru. You had always thought that you would end up having a lifetime together, to have children, to have normal lives — to grow old together. When you looked at your son, you thought about the life that had been robbed from you by fate, but also the hope that came with the birth of the most precious thing in your life. Your son was, after all, your pride and joy.

Parenthood brought with it a sense of purpose unlike anything you had experienced before. From sleepless nights to endless diaper changes, every moment spent caring for your son filled you with a sense of fulfillment and contentment you never thought possible. Watching him grow and thrive, witnessing his first steps and hearing his infectious laughter, became the highlights of your days, grounding you in the present and reminding you of the beauty that existed amidst life's chaos.

Despite the challenges of balancing motherhood with your career, you found moments of joy in the simple pleasures of everyday life. From bedtime stories and snuggles to impromptu dance parties in the living room, each day brought new opportunities to cherish the bond you shared with your son, a bond forged in the unbreakable bonds of love and devotion.

And as you raced through the crowded streets of Tokyo, your thoughts drifted to the little boy eagerly awaiting your arrival at school. In his laughter and in his smile, you found solace and strength, a reminder that no matter where life's journey took you, the love of your family would always be the anchor that held you steady amidst the storm.

Today, however, brought with it a new challenge—a decision that would alter the course of your lives once again. Your husband, a foreigner whose stint in Japan was coming to an end, had been called back to Europe. After much deliberation, you both had decided to accompany him, embarking on a new adventure in a foreign land.

As you hurried to pick up your child from school, a sense of urgency pulsed through your veins. His teacher had informed you that he would be finishing up his language lessons, buying you some much-needed time to make it there before his class ended.

Breathless and slightly disheveled, you finally arrived at the school, your heart pounding in your chest as you scanned the bustling courtyard for any sign of your son. And then, amidst the sea of unfamiliar faces, you saw him—Geto Suguru, standing there in a traditional geto-kesa, engaged in conversation with one of the middle school teachers. 

Your pulse quickened at the sight of him, a flood of memories washing over you like a tidal wave. It had been so long since you had last seen each other, and yet, in that moment, it felt as though no time had passed at all. Quiet eyes feasting upon him, relearning him after a decade of him disappearing from your world. 

As you approached him, your heart hammered in your chest, uncertainty and longing warring within you. Would he even remember you after all these years? And more importantly, did you still hold a place in his heart as he did in yours?

Summoning every ounce of courage you possessed, you called out his name, the sound barely audible amidst the cacophony of voices around you. And then, as he turned to face you, his expression a mixture of surprise and recognition, you knew that some things truly never change.

As Suguru turned to face you, his eyes widened in surprise, a flicker of recognition crossing his features. For a moment, time seemed to stand still as you stood before each other, the weight of the years that had passed between you palpable in the air. The teacher seemed a bit flustered, but you smiled at them and bowed with an apology. They seemed to understand, they bowed and left.

"Suguru," you breathed, your voice barely above a whisper, the name feeling both foreign and achingly familiar on your lips. “Hi.”

Recognition dawned in his eyes as he studied your face, his expression softening with a hint of nostalgia. "It’s you." he replied, his voice a quiet murmur that seemed to echo with the weight of unspoken memories.

He took in the image of you, one that has matured, has grown, has changed over the course of a decade. Yet there was something in his eyes, a conflict, when he looked at you. You didn’t understand why, you didn’t understand where it came from but you didn’t say anything. You just let this moment stay as it was. You let your eyes quietly take in how he has grown in these years. And you know, he was doing the same with you.

The years melted away in an instant as you stood there, lost in each other's gaze, the past and present converging in a bittersweet collision of emotions. It was as if no time had passed at all, as if you were once again the young souls who had shared secrets beneath the cherry blossom tree, bound together by an invisible thread that transcended the passage of time.

"It's been a long time," he murmured, his warm voice neutral as he looked at you. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

You nodded, unable to tear your gaze away from his. "Too long." you agreed softly, the ache of longing and regret threading through your words. “I just….this is a surprise.”

“I should say that.” He whispers back to you. “How have you been?”

“Good,” You smiled at him, fidgeting with your gloved hands. “I’ve just been busy with life.”

Suguru's gaze softened as he listened to your words, a faint smile playing at the corners of his lips. "I'm glad to hear that," he replied, his voice warm with sincerity. "Life has a way of keeping us on our toes, doesn't it?"

You nodded, a wistful expression crossing your features. "It certainly does," you agreed softly, the weight of the years weighing heavily on your shoulders. "But enough about me. How about you? How have you been?"

A flicker of emotion crossed Suguru's face, his expression momentarily guarded before he offered you a small, reassuring smile. "I've been... managing," he replied carefully, his words laced with a hint of uncertainty. “It’s been a lot.”

“I’m….I’m glad that you’re managing.” You mumbled back to him, unsure of what to say. “It’s rough to be an adult now.”

You studied his face, noting the subtle tension in his features and the guarded look in his eyes. It was clear that there was more to his story than he was letting on, but you didn't press him further. Instead, you offered him a gentle smile, hoping to convey your support and understanding without words.

"Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here," you said softly, the sincerity in your voice unmistakable. "No matter what, you'll always have a friend in me."

Suguru's smile widened at your words, a flicker of gratitude shining in his eyes. "Thank you," he murmured, his voice filled with genuine appreciation. "That means more to me than you know."

Silence stretched between you, heavy with unspoken words and unresolved emotions. In that moment, you both stood on the precipice of something uncertain, the weight of your shared history hanging between you like a fragile thread.

As Suguru's gaze shifted towards you, his brows furrowed in confusion, a question lingering on his lips. "What are you doing here?" he asked, his tone tinged with curiosity.

Before you could respond, a familiar voice echoed across the hall, drawing your attention away from Suguru. You turned just in time to see your son rushing towards you, his arms outstretched in excitement. With a laugh bubbling up from deep within you, you opened your arms wide, ready to catch him in a warm embrace.

As your son leaped into your arms, his laughter filling the air, you couldn't help but feel a surge of joy and warmth wash over you. Holding him close, you pressed a kiss to his cheek, relishing in the simple pleasure of being reunited with the one who brought so much light into your life.

In the midst of the joyful reunion, you failed to notice the subtle shift in Suguru's demeanor. His gaze lingered on you and your son, his expression clouded with a mixture of emotions—confusion, disbelief, and perhaps even a hint of resentment.

As you finally turned back to face Suguru, his eyes met yours, his expression guarded and unreadable. It was clear that something had shifted between you, a rift forming between the two of you that seemed impossible to bridge. And in that moment, you couldn't help but wonder if perhaps some wounds were too deep to heal, no matter how much time had passed.

As the weight of Suguru's gaze bore down on you, a pang of sadness tugged at your heart. You had hoped that this unexpected reunion would bring a sense of closure, a chance to reconnect and perhaps even rebuild what had been lost between you. But now, as you stood before him, the distance between you felt insurmountable.

Summoning a smile that felt forced, you attempted to break the tension that hung heavy in the air. "This is my son," you explained, gesturing towards the young boy in your arms. "His name is Shouma.”

Suguru's eyes softened slightly at the introduction, a flicker of recognition crossing his features. For a moment, he looks at your son and sees nothing but you. He was you when you were younger. You when he first felt what joy, what life looks like in all its glory.

His eyes scan lower as the boy played with his nametag. Purple orbs widened slightly as he read the letters of the boy's name. 憧 for longing. 真 for genuine. He meets your gaze for a moment. It was the moment he knew. You pursed your lips into a flat line as you lowered your gaze, busying yourself with fixing your son's shoelaces.

Shouma.

Genuine.

Longing.

"He's... he's beautiful," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “Looks exactly like you.”

“That’s what my husband said.” You responded, a tight smile on your lips as you said those words. You could see something in his face shift. Despite the warmth in his words, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled in the pit of your stomach. There was something about the way Suguru looked at you and your son—a mixture of longing and regret—that left you feeling unsettled. “He is my mini-me.”

“He really is.”

When the bell sounded, the steps of children and the ringing of their voices echoed across the rooms and into the halls. It was then two children, twin girls, excitedly rushed when they saw Suguru standing near you. The two girls, Mimiko and Nanako, whose names were written in their name-tags, emerged from their classroom happily. You watched them embrace Suguru as they spoke and chattered. You take your son’s hand, who looks at the older girls in front of him.  

You couldn't help but notice the apprehensive mistrust in their gaze as they glanced at you and your son. Their eyes held a mixture of curiosity and wariness, as though unsure of what to make of the unexpected encounter. They’d never seen you in their entire lives before, you were a stranger. They didn’t know you. They clung closer to Suguru, as though to instinctively protect him. 

Suguru, sensing the tension, stepped forward to bridge the gap between his daughters and your little family. With a gentle smile, he introduced you and your son, his voice warm yet tinged with a hint of unease. "Mimiko, Nanako, this is an old friend of mine and her son," he explained, his gaze flickering between you and his daughters. “These two angels are my daughters.” 

As the introductions were made, you couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness wash over you. They seem to let their guard down slightly, as you watch them cling less towards Suguru and greet you cordially, almost shyly. You smiled at them. They seem to be polite girls. Suguru had raised them well, with all the love in the world. 

You were glad that Suguru had managed to build a family, a life beyond what you had—one that seemed to have escaped the grief, pain, and misery that had engulfed him when you last saw each other. Even if it wasn’t with you. But as you looked into each other's eyes, you saw the same mourning glint reflected in his gaze, a silent acknowledgment of the 'what if' that would forever linger in the shadows of your hearts.

The presence of Mimiko and Nanako, standing by Suguru's side, served as a bittersweet reminder of the life you were supposed to have together. A life where you imagined waking up beside him, raising children together, sharing dreams and burdens. But that future had slipped through your fingers like sand, and now you stood on separate shores, each tethered to a different destiny.

You knew you would never leave your husband. He had been your anchor, your partner through the ups and downs, the father of your cherished son. Your life with him was built on love and commitment, and you were grateful for the family you had. Yet, the ache of what might have been remained, a quiet sorrow that echoed in the moments of stillness and reflection.

Suguru’s eyes, filled with a mix of pride and melancholy, told you he felt the same. He too mourned the lost possibilities, the dreams that had withered in the wake of your separation. The shared sorrow created a bond, a silent understanding that no amount of time could erase.

Meeting Suguru's gaze, you saw the turmoil reflected in his eyes, mirroring the conflicting emotions swirling within your own heart. It was as though the ghosts of your past lives were living through your regrets, haunting you with the memories of what could have been.

"I’m happy for you, Suguru," you said softly, your voice tinged with genuine warmth. "You've built something beautiful."

He nodded, the corner of his mouth lifting in a bittersweet smile. "And you too. Your son... he's wonderful."

Before either of you could say more, your son tugged at your hand, his innocent eyes wide with curiosity. "Mom, who are they?" he asked, glancing at Suguru and his daughters.

You crouched down to your son's level, smoothing his hair affectionately. "This is Suguru, mama’s old friend. And these are his daughters, Mimiko and Nanako."

Your son smiled shyly at the girls, and they responded with slow, but tentative smiles of their own. The innocence of the children contrasted sharply with the complex emotions swirling between you and Suguru, a poignant reminder of the simplicity and purity of childhood. Somehow, reminisce about how you and Suguru met. 

“You raised them well, Suguru.” You smiled at him. “They got your kindness too.”

“And your son, he’s everything that’s you.” He retorts back, a quiet smile on his lips. 

As the conversation continued, you felt a mix of sadness and acceptance. Life had moved on, taking you down different paths, but the connection you once shared with Suguru remained, however muted by time and circumstance. You would always mourn the life that could have been, but you knew that the choices you made had led you to where you were meant to be.

Suguru’s voice broke through your reverie. "Take care of yourself, and your family," he said, his tone carrying the weight of unspoken words.

"You too, Suguru," you replied, your heart heavy yet resolute. “Thank you for letting me….relive a past life.”

He took a deep breath and smiled for a bit. “You too. Thank you.”

But as the sounds of the bustling city called to you, you knew that some things were better left unsaid.Some things were best left as they were — past lives. You took your son’s hand and kissed the top of his head. You looked at Suguru and nodded.  With a heavy heart and a sense of resignation, you offered him a small, bittersweet smile. 

"It's good to see you, Suguru," you said, the words laced with a quiet ache.

His gaze softened, a flicker of regret dancing in the depths of his eyes.  "You too," he replied softly, his voice barely above a softened whisper.

It wasn’t lost on Suguru, the irony of you being the last to walk away.

As he lay dying, his quiet eyes shifting to the ground of his past life,

He smiles, thinking about how good it was to see you one last time.

He hopes in the next life, you would live a long happy life together.

If the gods were kind, they'd let you love each other once again.

[bysaber]

Singing in a choral ft. Suguru Geto

Day 08 of 31 Days of Ficmas!

summary — In a world filled with curses and tragedies, Suguru Geto hears the most beautiful voice of his damned life when he least expected to.

word count — 629

content — angst, guilt, no comfort, i’m sorry

notes — ok, i think geto’s guilt pos-hidden inventory arc was never explored and it’s NOT POSSIBLE he didn’t feel guilt, man. he killed his PARENTS and it’s NOT ADDRESSED FURTHER OMG. anyway so that’s my own character’s psychology interpretation!

Suguru Geto didn’t like to walk among humans.

Not only because they disgusted him, but because it would remind him of the times they didn’t.

And that… that was the worst part.

Blending in, seeing all the people he would eventually murder – even though they weren’t monsters.

But he’d rather know, he’d rather know whose life he was taking.

Humans, humans.

Monkeys.

He had a purpose, he’d do everything to achieve it.

He killed his own parents, he gave up on everything to try to save the life of his fellow Jujutsu Sorcerers. His friends, his family.

Even though it was an impossible dream, he tried. He was trying. Day after day after day.

He shouldn’t let guilt take place in his heart.

And yet…

He walked in those streets, hearing conversations and laughter coming from humans that weren’t so bad, after all. He walked and saw that not only hate existed, but happiness and love.

He was a hypocrite. But what could he do? He had to make a choice, and he did.

But nobody seemed to understand how hard of a choice it was.

Suguru Geto was about to leave, sorrow having filled him completely when he heard something that made him suddenly stop.

“May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be bright…”

A voice.

So beautiful and melodic that he felt the need to turn his head to catch a glimpse of its owner.

“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know…”

You’re dressed in white, so different from his all-black outfit, and the words you sang were like a punch in his gut.

He suddenly remembered it was December 23rd, and that he would never have Christmases like the ones he used to know from when he was a teenager.

In the middle of the crowd, he succumbed to his guilt.

He felt the tears falling and all the things he would never be able to say stuck in his throat, and still, he still hated all those monkeys for making him go through that.

While hating himself for thinking that while admiring you – it was so paradoxical.

The rest of the coral disappeared behind you, the main voice, and he watched as you sang – and wished for a white Christmas.

His would be red.

When the choral ended and the crowd dissipated, Suguru stood there. He was aware he looked like a lunatic, but still…

“Hey, are you ok?”

It almost scared him.

He looked up to see you, looking at him with a concerned expression, “Sorry… I noticed you seemed upset about something while we were singing. I just wanted to check,” you opened a soft smile and it pained him more.

“Oh, don’t worry about me. The song just made me emotional,” Geto smiled back – the smile he had mastered.

“Oh, ok. Good to know,” still didn’t seem like you believed him. “In any case, I just want to wish you a good night. And a good life. You seem like you deserve it.”

Suguru just looked at you. He couldn’t say anything – even if he tried.

What could he say? Thank you?

“Well… good night, then. Maybe we will also see each other tomorrow!”, you said at last, waving goodbye while distancing yourself.

“Hey!”

He yelled before he could even think about it. You looked back at him, confused.

“Don’t come here tomorrow. Stay out of Shinjuku and Kyoto,” Suguru Geto asked you. “Please.”

You couldn’t muster the reason why, but you just nodded to him before parting ways.

He watched as you left knowing that was the last good thing he would ever do.

Because the next day, December 24th, 2017, was the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons.

[giggly-squiggily]

It’s the way I was gonna send this earlier but got distracted-

gojo and geto blurb that is in my head bc I just watched hidden inventory arc.

No it is not canon, no I don’t know how their powers work

AND NO THERE ARE NO SPOILERS ❤️❤️❤️

“You haven’t slept in two days, and you aren’t planning on sleeping again tonight, are you?”

I’m just so deep in thought abt this scene bc yeah. So here’s how I think the scene shoulda gone bc Gege is a coward:

—

The two nights of not sleeping were catching up to him, and Gojo feels like he’s going to die on day three. His body feels like a lead weight, and he can barely move. His eyes are burning, but he can’t dare to close them. He has to keep on full alert for… reasons.

Geto comes in and sees him in the state he’s in. His heart immediately drops. Gojo looks like he’s about to collapse.

He comes up next to the chair and places a hand on the white-haired sorcerer’s shoulder. The man jumps a good few feet in the air. “Shit- Suguru, you scared me.”

“Sorry, Satoru,” Geto whispers. “How’re ya’ holding up?”

“Decent,” Gojo hums, accentuated with a yawn. “I think I can smell shapes now.”

The brunette exhales a chuckle, kneeling to the left of the chair. “Yeah? What does a circle smell like?”

“Like a-“ he yawns, subsequently rubbing his sore temples. “Like- like uh- yeah.”

“I agree,” Suguru replies, turning off the lamp before slowly bringing his hand up to thumb at his friend’s thigh. “I’m sorry you have to be up for so long.”

The two are left in darkness, causing Gojo to release a loud sigh of relief “I’ll be fine… I’ve got you with me.”

The whisper in Gojo’s tone lets Geto know that his friend is about to cry. “Switch with me.”

“What?”

“I said switch. Let me sit.”

“Hah? Suguru-“

“Satoru, stand up.”

Begrudgingly, and with great effort, Gojo manages to stay upright for about four seconds before his knees and thighs fail and send him back down. He sits in the brunette’s lap, head hanging low.

“There you go… yeah… shh… let go, Satoru; it’s okay...” Geto soothes as he pushes the latter’s head against his chest. “You just get some sleep, and I will keep watch.”

“But-“

“Satoru-“

“Suguru, I can’t.” There’s pain in his voice. Geto can feel the shaking of Gojo’s body as tears burn behind his eyes. “I-I have to p-protect-“

“And you can’t protect them while you’re exhausted,” Suguru soothes as he starts to comb through the white mop beneath his fingertips. “If they came after us now, what would you do?”

There’s no reply.

“Please…rest, Satoru,” Geto begs, hugging his friend closer to him. “It’s just us awake… you can be vulnerable now. You don’t have to be the strongest with me.”

With that spoken confirmation, Satoru shivers as he breaks down into soft cries. Suguru cuddles him with zero judgement and zero words spoken. He hums a soft song the two have always enjoyed as he begs the greater gods above to allow Gojo to sleep.

After a mere ten minutes, the white-haired male is sleeping soundly with residual tears on his face. Geto sighs in relief and hugs Gojo closer to him as he releases his cursed companion to watch over them all.

Gojo would probably be pissed at him, or he would pretend it never happened. But either way, Suguru smiles as he rubs his friend’s back and shoulders.

Tomorrow will have to be the judge…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*inhales*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DUCKY! Oh my- *explodes* THIS IS EVERYTHING??? (and nah you're totes right Gege get on Ducky's level with this emotional ANGST) Gojo not taking care of himself and Geto having to step in feels so canon? And him humming songs while he breaks down GAH! I love this and I love them- thank you for sharing this delightful masterpiece I am in HEAVEN! *hugs a thousand hugs*

[beebotea]

☁️ ˖⁺ lonely together — geto suguru

pairing: geto x gn!reader genre: fluff, a smidge of angst word count: 1.8k cw: post hidden inventory arc, reader is referred to as “darling”, morally gray reader, slightly suggestive joke at the end (idk geto insinuates u shower tgt), geto calls non-sorcerers monkeys i.e.: “i can fix him.” nah. he's perfect as he is

“so if youre lonely, no need to show me. if youre lonely, come be lonely with me.”

“suguru!”

you called out from the bottom of the hill, staring up at the entrance to the temple you had seen pictures of in yaga’s office. a board filled with pins and red rope connecting to other pictures related to geto suguru’s disappearance.

the man dressed in monk’s clothing with cascading raven hair done into a half-do stopped and turned towards you.

you noticed how his eyes widened upon seeing you. he looked healthier since you last saw him.

“suguru! did you sleep well last night?”

“it was enough. shouldnt you be preparing for your mission?”

“suguru! i got us some snacks from the bakery on the way home! do you want to try them with me and gojo?”

“no, it’s alright. im going to take a shower and rest in my room. you two go ahead without me.”

“suguru! i havent seen you in days, come out of your room, please? i miss you. everything’s been so boring lately…”

“im a bit tired. i have a mission tomorrow morning. goodnight.”

“suguru. tell me whats wrong… you havent hugged or kissed or even looked at me in weeks.”

“i dont really want to talk about it right now. i need to go soon, y/n.”

“be safe.”

“suguru? so it’s true?”

“it is.”

“youre leaving us?”

“i have to. dont you think we, those who are gifted, deserve more than the reality we live in?”

“what?”

“i want to thank you for worrying about me all this time and trying to make me feel better. i’ll miss you, goodbye, y/n.”

you remember returning to your dorm that day in a daze, tears long dried during your walk home, pondering his last words to you. apparently he’d been a lot more harsh on satoru than with you or shoko in his parting words.

you wanted to hate him for leaving you and everyone behind as if none of it ever mattered. as if everything he’d said to you in the past few years was a lie.

it had always been the four of you. but now, more than ever, you felt alone. you, satoru, and shoko all had a void that no amount of cigarettes or alcohol could fill. nothing could make you forget how warm the world used to be. how beautifully the moon used to glow. how bright the stars used to shine. now, all you could see was the vast darkness in between.

although your time was spent with two others as often as you could make possible, you felt inexplicably lonely.

we deserve more?

for the first few months, you were convinced he’d gone crazy, lost his mind, didn’t know what he was thinking.

but the more missions you took and the more casualties you witnessed, you started to understand what he meant. jujutsu sorcerers walk on a thin sheet of ice separating them from life and death. all the work they do and all the sacrifices they make for nothing more than monetary compensation.

we must protect those who cant protect themselves, satoru had said. but who was there to protect us? you thought in rebuttal.

haibara yu was only 17 when he passed. amanai riko was 14 when she was assassinated. gojo and geto were 18 when they were hunted and barely survived.

was it really all that worth it?

you remembered walking through the next few months of your last year in high school barely responding—as if it all went by in a blur.

nanami dropping out of jujutsu high, gojo mastering his domain expansion, shoko getting into medical school, you receiving your sorcerer’s license. did any of that mean anything if you all just died soon after?

the only thing you could recall clearly from your last year was bejng called to yaga’s office and offered a job as a teacher at the school.

you remember getting a glimpse of his board, filled with intel and pictures noting geto suguru’s activities. you recognized the temple and the trees surrounding it in a picture.

it was near your childhood home in the mountains where an old religious took base.

“i’ll have to decline, principal yaga.”

“dont get me wrong, you’ll still be sent on missions, you wont be cooped up here all the time. you’re a first-grade sorcerer after all—“

“really, principal yaga. i dont want to be a teacher here.”

“y/n?” suguru didnt take his eyes off of you as you bolted up the staircase, wrapping your arms around his shocked body.

“i missed you.” you smiled at him, feeling him instinctively wrap his arms around your waist as you pulled away.

“how did you find me?”

“i have my ways.”

he let out a gentle chuckle, one that youve been wanting to hear so badly for the last 14 months. “of course you do.” he tucked a strand if hair behind your ear, reminding you of the sweet and gentle young man you fell for in the beginning of high school. he took a moment to take in your appearance. he hadn’t seen you in so long and would be lying if he said he didnt miss you as well.

“i missed you too, y/n. why are you here?”

“well—”

“if youre here to convince me to come back. its not going to work.”

“wasnt really planning to.” you shrugged.

“oh?” he raised his brow, taken aback by your response. it was almost as if a weight was taken off his shoulders. it was hard enough to push you away once, a second time would probably break him entirely.

suguru couldnt help but let out a relived sigh, showing you the smile youve been dreaming of since he left. “so if youre not here for that, then i take it youre still sooo in love with me then arent you.”

“hey! im still mad at you, dont act all normal with me just yet.” you rolled your eyes, playfully swatting him on the shoulder. in all honesty you should be a lot more upset, livid perhaps, by the way he left it all behind. leaving your life without so much as saying ‘i love you’ or even sharing a kiss in the 3 weeks before his sudden rampage driven departure. but the thing was, your mind couldnt seem to care anymore. your tears and anger had long run out the first three months. your grieving had come to an end almost a year ago and now, you couldnt help but just be happy to see him again.

“right. im sorry.” he never took his eyes off of you as he spoke. “i didnt want to leave so abruptly like that. its just— i dont think i could stay in that world and continue to be happy.”

“i don’t completely understand what happened, suguru, but i know how you feel…” he nodded at your reply and began to guide you into the building.

“i wouldnt change anything even if i went back. except, maybe wait for you to come to the same realization. but believe me when i say this, ive always loved you. it just didnt feel right to say anything when i couldnt even love myself.” he said, holding your hand as the two of you walked through the traditional temple halls.

“was it lonely?”

“a little at first. but not so much anymore. ive found a new family and now with you by my side, i think i can finally call it complete.” he smiled at you, stopping by two large doors at the end of the hallway. “i want you to meet them.”

“theyre in there?” he nodded.

two months had passed since you arrived on the doorstep of his temple. two months for you to feel at home and with purpose beside your new family. two months was all it took for you to be completely by his side at all times, not that it was difficult. sure he was a bit more cruel and less kind to non-sorcerers than he had been in the past. but really, who was to blame him?

in any case, you knew that you fell in love with how he treated you and how he made you feel. him being relentlessly kind to others back then had only been a bonus, really. you couldnt care less about how he treated those ungrateful animals anymore anyways.

“y/n-san! geto-san said he’s too busy to take us to the shopping district right now! we really wanted to buy new shoes this weekend.” mimiko pouted at you, bursting into your room without knocking, barreling straight into your arms and sending the brush out of your grasp.

“cant you two wait a little bit longer? then all four of us can go to town together.” you opened your arm to welcome nanako as she dejectedly followed behind her sister.

“y/n’s right you two,” you looked up to see suguru standing at the doorway, fondly smiling at the spectacle before him. “i have maybe three more clients, a shower, and then i can take us all there, alright?”

the girls perked up at his voice, cheering and running over to him.

he took a step back from the running children and held his hands up to stop their advances. “no, no, dont get too close. i still have the monkey smell on me. i cant get you two dirty, now can i?” he looked back up to where you were sitting at the vanity. “y/n, dear.”

“yes, suguru?”

“would you like to help me with my last few clients? its awfully boring without you, you know.”

“do i have to?”

“well, if youre there then i mught be able to finish even earlier than expected and we’ll get to leave sooner too. right girls?” he winked at mimiko and nanako.

they excitedly nodded and begged for you to go with him. “yeah! please, y/n-san! we’ll be good while you’re helping out!”

“alright, alright, fine. i’ll go. but no playing on my phone alright? i bought you two plenty of nice books the last time we went out.”

“we promise!” they pushed you out of your own room and towards geto before slamming the door behind you.

suguru let out a soft chuckle as you walked towards his extended arm and linked your arm with his.

“hmph. using the girls against me. you play so dirty, suguru.”

“well how else would i get what i want darling? and besides, that just means you’ll have to rid of the monkey smell by taking a shower with me.”

“perv.”

the world you lived in had started to feel lonely. those worthy of suguru’s new world were few and far between compared to the vast population of animals surrounding you. but right now, your heart feels full. even if the world outside your paradise is bleak and lonely, the least it could do was to let you stay with your perfect family and be lonely together.

a/n: yeah best reality is when geto is happy and gojo is happy and everyone is happy because no one turned evil… but if evil why pretty? our boy can do no wrong!!

[ghostmaldo]

high school nanami with a s/o that failed a mission :((

Awwww this ones goanna be a little sad, a smidge of angst but mostly fluff and comfort. Thank you for being my first request 💙 I have some more ideas and ficus qued, I just gotta get over being siiiick.

Warnings: Mentions of death, mentions of gore, symptoms of depression, like I said a little sad, spoilers for Geto and Haibara from Hidden Inventory arc

Ask box open: 💙

Playlist I listened to while writing this: https://youtu.be/kFbN4v5cRH4?si=wiiaPLHrTeX4Z-0N

~Maldo

A gentle breeze combed it’s way through (Y/N)s hair. Their back laid against the trunk of the tree with their knee’s pulled up to their chest. Listening to the birds sing their peaceful morning songs with their eyes closed off to the real world. Unaware of their friend and fellow sorcerer standing a ways back behind them, starring at them with worriedly. A cup of their favorite drink pressed between his fingers. The whole walk here and Nanami Kento still didn’t know what to say to his friend…His friend he cherished so deeply… just as he had Haibara.

Nanami heard of what happened a week ago… the accident… another failed mission in Jujutsus record books… one compiled of many others that occurred during the last several months. It weighed on all their hearts so heavily. Innocent bystanders caught in the crossfire perishing under their watch. He understood it was difficult not to succumb to those dark voices… After all he’d heard them plaguing his own thoughts late in the nightly hours.

That’s why he was here. He’d seen first hand what listening to those voices did to a person. Geto Suguru was a prime example. The whole situation with the vessel had changed him, formed him into a man beyond recognition… now he no longer stood beside them as a comrade… but as an enemy. And gods had Gojo taken the biggest hit… even if he did try to hide it behind his strength and techniques. Nanami would damn himself if he sat back and watch the same fate befall his last living friend. He couldn’t withstand even the thought of losing them too…

He sighed and shook his head of those troubling thoughts. It was now or never… and he wasn’t going to leave his friend to battle this alone. He steadily approached them, cautious not to startle them. When their tired and swollen eyes turned to look at him he was crushed. Nearly everything unspoken was written in their glossy (e/c) eyes. He moved hastily to sit next to (Y/N), their shoulders barely brushing against the other. He offered the drink to them in a whisper, watching attentively as they took it from his hand. “Thank you, Ken.” They replied equally as hushed. Dammit he just wanted to reach inside of them and take all of their pain away. They set the object on the grass patch beside them, then they buried their head into their arms and knees. Nanami heard a soft sob come from them. He panicked for a moment, then a thought came into mind… a form a comfort he’d seen used with people before.

Nanami placed a gentle hand on their back, ghosting his fingers over their spine. A sign that he was there if they needed him. And it seemed they did. They leaned their weighed into his chest, the crown of their head resting against his chest. He found it natural to wrap his arms around them and pull them in further into his lap. Their body shook as the cried, and Nanami allowed them to cry as much as they wanted. Knowing it would somehow help them move past this.

After several moments passed and (Y/N) sobs quieted to hiccuping snuffles, he spoke up. “Would you like to talk about it?” The two locked eyes. (Y/n) sat up a bit to be eye to eye with the man. Rubbing the remaining tears out of their eyes lashes. “I don’t understand whats happening Nanami… First the vessel, then Haibara… Geto…. And all those people I could have saved but I wasn’t strong enough!” Tears once again began to roll over their red cheeks. The frustration cracking their worn voice. “This feels like madness! Are we… supposed to go on and on with so much death surrounding us like this?” The question wasn’t directed towards Nanami specifically. Even if it was he still wouldn’t have known how to answer. He breathed in… then out again. His breath fanning over (Y/N) face. “I-I don’t know. I wish there was an easy answer to help sooth your worries… But I don’t have them.” (Y/N) eyes bore into him sharply as if they were disappointed with his answer. But there eye’s widened when he drew them in for a warmth filled embrace. Nanami rested his head along theres, his fingers bunched the fabric of their uniform as he desperately clung to them. Almost if he were afraid to let go and lose them forever.

“I do know this… I can’t lose you too. We’ve both lost a lot of things…. But it won’t bring those things back by wishing we were stronger. Our enemies don’t intend to stop… so we must also continue, even if it’s difficult to take the first step. There are people still here waiting for you to take it with you.” Nanami cupped (Y/n) face ever so gingerly, wiping away their tears with the pads of his thumbs. A small tender smile formed on his face. “Haibara would fight for us if he were still here, so we must continue his fight. For him.”

Nanami’s words were tough to swallow… but they knew he was right. They nodded slowly, taking a few deep breath in before turning their gaze to Nanami. “Thank you Ken, you mean the world to me too.” It was their turn to return the hug back to him. A light chuckled rumbled against his chest. He patted their head gently, then proceeded to help them to their feet. Their eyes were still red, puffy, and the tiredness still hung from their bottom lashes. But the hopeful smile they emitted toward him brought him satisfaction. They’d be alright with time.

“ Don’t forget your drink… and…let’s get you something to eat. Even if it’s something small hmm?” Retrieving their drink, (Y/N) agreed to his offer. The pair making their way to the nearest vending machine.

[duckiemimi]

I AM SO PISSED OFF ABOUT GOJO'S DEATH, like everyone is ofc, the execution was so miserable. but lemme elaborate

I love tragedies, i love when a character dies before they can achieve their goal, when the ending is completely hopeless, when happiness is completely out of reach for the mc, that's my type of thing, i love stories that are willing to have an ending that kicks you in the nuts and makes you regret ever consuming it. and I'm 90% that's what gege is going for, maybe not that extreme but a sort of bittersweet ending (more bitter than sweet tho).

but the thing is that writing effective tragedies is hard, it's a very careful process because it can easily feel cheap or lazy, you need to set it up properly or it will fall apart, and i personally believe that gege's set up was pretty decent! but they pay off...

i'm used to important characters dying, i love it! but i look at Gojo's death and it's like... damn, what a wasted chance. that thing had the potential to be one of the most impactful deads in modern manga, yet it was so rushed, so lazy and cheap, a good character death can make you cry for a character that u didn't even care about to begin with, but with Gojo, whos character i loved, I didn't shed a single tear! gege really set up this amazing character FOR NOTHING, IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO POWERFUL, WE WERE ROBBED!!!

also, I'm so angry abut the lack of reaction from gojo, like, you are fighting the child you basically RAISED, SHOW SOME EMOTION, sure he is possessed but it's still his body??? like at least pretend to care y'know? it could have been another incredible powerful thing yet gege said "nu-uh :3"

when i catch u gege....

i completely agree! and i know gege’s capable of writing fantastic tragic character arcs because geto’s a great example—no one ever actually complains about how his death was written! gege absolutely nailed the set up of his character and the downhill journey he went through in the hidden inventory arc, and even when he turned villainous, readers still loved him because of how human he read. geto never had a happy ending! but we still loved the way he was written and the way he ended! it made sense, it had meaning.

gege used to be great at resolutions and pay offs, at delivering the unwritten promises he started the story with, but this arc has just been one big mess…just like you, when gojo died, it didn’t feel real to me. but not because it was grief for a well-loved character; it was because it held no weight at all. he died and the world kept turning, and while that’s just the way their universe works, having someone who came out the womb shifting the balance of the world just die inconsequentially makes no sense. no one stopped to mourn him? no one gave him the minute he gave to geto in shibuya? no minuscule pause at all, no shock or outright anger? was he not loved?

i’ve lost most of my hope for the ending i’d hoped for, but i’m staying because i want to see yuuji decide to live for himself. but even that small flame of faith i have, it wavers…

[yuujism]

Sun and Night. (gojo satoru x reader)

Chapter 1: Hate

chapter 2 →

| PAIRINGS: gojo satoru x reader x getou suguru

| WARNINGS: ⚠️ SPOILERS FOR HIDDEN INVENTORY ARC AND VOL. 0 IN THE MANGA ⚠️ explicit language, nsfw (next chapter will have tags), plot, too much writing, kinda modified so it can fit the story but nothing out of canon, grammar errors

| WORD COUNT: idk lol i’ll count it later

| A/N: so uhhh, i’m back i guess ??? this came to me after re reading the manga and kinda yearned for some angst between gojo and reader because they both loved suguru so much 😽 and i love suguru a lot too and i miss him dearly anyway !! please check the post before this one to know what will go on with my other series !! right now i’m taking my time to write :( anyway hope you enjoy!! i hope it’s not kinda half asses though sorry ):

summary;

You and Satoru were in love.

You were both so deeply in love, just not with each other.

Where you and Satoru found comfort in each other after the accident happened.

Chapter 1: Hate.

You were in love.

To you, Getou Suguru was the bright moon in your dark sky.

Long and silky black hair, sly yet serious dark eyes and the soothing voice of reason, drowned your thoughts almost every day. He was really in every thought and dream you could have and you didn’t mind.

He always looked at you with a sweet smile adorning his features, raising his hand and waving it at you whenever you walked into the room. The sound of your name slipping through his lips made you realise you did like your name, but only when it came from him. The faint touch of his hand on your shoulder that sent shivers down your spine, face heating up reflexively as he leaned down to your ear to say some silly joke about Yaga.

Even to this day, you could still feel the ghost of his breathing in your neck.

Getou Suguru made you feel welcomed, and you loved him for that. You deeply loved him.

You knew you weren’t the only one who had their heart squeeze with adoration whenever Suguru came into view. He was just better at hiding it, an expert in sweeping his emotions under a rug and masking them with a cocky smile. But not for your observant eyes.

Gojo Satoru was also in love.

To Satoru, Getou Suguru was equal to him. The strongest sorcerers. He was also an annoyance.

Contrary ideals and constant bickering never failed to appear when these two were put together. They seemed so different: white and black; water and oil; the sun and the moon. Yet they always found themselves with each other.

Satoru hated the way Suguru could look through him so easily, calling him out on his bullshit whenever he was getting out of hand. Satoru didn’t mind as long as it was him and only him. The way they could almost read each other’s minds as if they were connected, only needing one look from the other to completely understand what were they thinking. The memory of Suguru still made Satoru’s stomach fill with butterflies, recalling the first time he saw his best friend through the eyes of a person in love.

Getou Suguru made Satoru feel everything he didn’t want to feel, and he became his one and only since the beginning.

You were both in love with Getou Suguru, but never admitted it. Not to him, not to each other, not to anybody. Everyone was oblivious to the way you indirectly fought against Satoru over the black haired sorcerer’s attention.

But then, it all came to an abrupt stop and everything shattered into a million pieces. It came as quickly as an unexpected projectile to both of your stomach’s guts.

“Getou Suguru is now to be executed on sight as a curse user.”

And you tried your best to stop the tears from coming and forget. Forget his sweet smile, his soothing voice, his touch and everything he made you feel. And Satoru did too. Because Getou Suguru was now a criminal. A murderer.

You wished it was all just a bad dream, that the charges against Suguru were just a complex plan from another terrorist group. Hope was something that you didn’t believe in and right now it looked like the sweetest of options. Ignorance is bliss after all.

Until Satoru came one day after an apparent encounter with Suguru thanks to Shoko’s aid. It was all true. You still remember the tremble in Satoru’s voice confirming every single event that was described in the announcement. His parents, the village, the hatred against humans. It was all real and, sadly, everything was clear now.

Getou Suguru was no longer the one you both knew and loved.

You also remember the discussion you had with Satoru after everyone left the room, asking him why he didn’t stop him, why he didn’t do anything to bring Suguru back to the school just like everyone expected him to.

“Would you have been able to do it?!” His yelling made you jolt before you looked at him with regret as his cold blue eyes showed his true and raw emotions for once.

And you knew. You knew that question had a deeper meaning than it appeared. And you also knew Satoru was well aware of your own feelings towards Suguru when his eyes looked through all the barriers you built to hide the pain you were in. To hide your love and broken heart. You could almost see his own dispair deep within himself. It was just too much and you couldn’t help but look down at your own feet through your tears.

Turns out you weren’t the only one with observant eyes.

“No.”

After that day, you and Satoru never exchanged words that weren’t about the students or the missions you were given through those months. You also never talked about the not-so-hidden feelings you both had towards the sorcerer that was once your friend and acquaintance.

It didn’t get better either but, somehow, it wasn’t worse than those days.

The memories of his smile still haunted you and your heart still felt as broken as that damned day. But at least you hadn’t heard of him for a long time. None of you had.

Satoru seemed to had forgotten completely. Or that was what he wanted to show. You knew he was as broken—or even more—than you were. How could he deem himself the strongest when he couldn’t save his one true friend and love after all. However, Satoru was sperfect at everything, even hiding the pain.

And everything did look better for you and Satoru in the path of forgetting Suguru. And, just like last time, destiny just couldn’t leave you alone.

Getou Suguru was back.

The way your body petrified under his gaze when he was finally in front of you after a long time was pathetic. You couldn’t move even if you wanted to, mouth slightly parted in an attempt to call him out for the first time in what felt forever. Was it fear? Was it shock? You didn’t know.

What you did know is he was the same Suguru but different. His smile wasn’t sweet anymore and his hair was longer. But the way he said your name still made your heart flutter in adoration and yearning for him.

No. No, this can’t be.

No, no, no. Getou Suguru was a criminal. A curse user. You had to stop him. You had to do something, anything!

Move.

Flashes of Suguru’s touch came into your mind as he walked towards you, calmly and confident as you stood there, a trembling hand trying to make its way to fight. Suguru didn’t stop.

Move.

Satoru’s words during your discussion resonated in your mind over and over again. Are you able to stop him? To risk it all and kill him if needed? Your hand stopped.

Move!

But you couldn’t. Not when he placed his hand on your shoulder, thanking you for not putting up a fight. Not when he walked past you, his familiar scent filling your nostrils for a brief second. And certainly not when he spoke from behind you, telling you how much he’d missed you.

You almost felt like laughing. You were truly pathetic.

Pathetic for not forgetting him. For thinking that, maybe after all this time, you would’ve been able to stop Suguru if the chance presented in front of your eyes. Unlike Satoru who couldn’t do it.

Oh, how wrong you were.

You crumbled down to your knees, hands holding your aching head as tears filled your eyes and memories of Suguru came to your mind. You weren’t strong at all. You could hear the rumbling far from your spot now, announcing the start of a fight.

Time passed, slow or fast, you didn’t know. But the tingling sensation of Suguru’s touch on your shoulder lingered until everything was silent once again.

It wasn’t until Satoru was next to you, that you finally got out of your stance of shock, looking up at him and his bandage-covered face. His demeanour was different once again, even if you couldn’t see his eyes, you could sense something was off, something happened just like that day.

Satoru didn’t even make the effort to face you as you stood up, still slightly shaking for the past event. He couldn’t. He didn’t know how to break the news for you because, once again, he couldn’t save Suguru. And this time, forever. His heart felt heavier than ever, his hands clenched into fists as he tried his best not to show how he was also shaking.

God, how Satoru wished that everything was different.

When you finally came to his senses, Satoru finally faced you, a small smile appearing in his face. His mask, you thought. His mask was crumbling in front of your eyes and he still tried to hide it. How cynical. Your eye twitched with annoyance as you saw right through him.

“Let’s go! The higher ups are wa—“

“He’s dead.” You cut him off and Satoru’s smile dropped, staring at you.

It wasn’t a question nor did you hesitate when those words came out of your mouth. You didn’t need him to confirm your statement as he once again faced away and the sound of the wind filled your ears.

Satoru could almost hear the sound of both of your hearts breaking even more, this time, until dust was the only thing remaining.

You didn’t have any more tears to cry as you grew tired of Satoru’s silence, taking it as the answer you weren’t even expecting before walking in front of him towards your next destination, leaving him behind. You disliked him more than ever right now.

Satoru limited himself to stare at your figure getting further away, jaw clenching with anger. Anger directed at you and himself. How could you look right through him? Did you even care about Suguru’s death as much as he cared? Did you even love him as much as he loved him?

That day, Satoru decided he hated you.

[i-simp-for-gintoki]

Itadori Yuji and Gojo Satoru thinking their s/o died

“Hey If you're comfortable can you do Reader with amazing regeneration power ( like deadpool lol ) For Yuji And Gojou? Like they don't know about their power tought they're dead but they just pop up back like nothing happens and explain their power to them? But if you're not comfortable it's okay! thank you” -anon

Sorry this took so long! I literally completely rewrote this like 6 times and decided in the end just to keep it relatively simple and not overly detailed. Gojo’s part includes spoilers from the manga (specifically the Hidden Inventory arc) only because thats the only time i could ever think of a situation where he would see and be near you when you get that injured.

Despite all these rewrites i still hate it-

Warnings: blood and injuries

Itadori Yuji:

Gojo had arrived to the classroom 8 minutes late as usual

Instead of training, he decided to hand out some missions to you first years

“Nobara and Megumi, you two are gonna go clean up a hospital and the surrounding area in the xxx district. Meanwhile, Yuji and y/n are gonna go clear out curses from some buildings by a cemetery in the xxx district. Shouldn’t be too difficult”

“You’re not gonna tell us which buildings?” itadori asks and the blindfolded man simply shrugs

“Your lovely y/n can sense the curses out with the power of love” he explains

You sigh and get up from your desk

“Yeah yeah, lets go Yuji” you say pulling your boyfriend’s hand

“Aw, no cute nicknames?” “Shut up Gojo-sensei” you say making your teacher frown

‘Never should have let gojo satoru of all people know that me and yuji are dating’ you think to yourself

And so you and yuji went off to fulfill the mission

It took a bit to get there but luckily it didn’t take long to find the curses

You decided to stick together as you searched the empty buildings

There was a small handful of the usual low grade curses that you guys took out pretty easily

But just when you guys thought you were done, a high level cursed appeared

“Man, I really wished Gojo-sensei would let us know if theres gonna be anything thats grade 2 or above” you say growing nervous and yuji nods his head

“Don’t worry, i’ll protect you” he says giving you a reassuring smile

And so you guys got serious and fought the curse

You both received a few scraps here or there but nothing too serious

Its when the curse switched up its attacks that it got particularly tricky

Instead of throwing cursed energy around, it shot disc blades out of its arm

You barely had enough time to duck out of the way

It went clean through the wall

“Yuji leave him to me” you say but he immediately denies your request

“No way! I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if you got hurt when I could have prevented it”

You were unsure but continued the fight anyways

After both of you sustaining many injuries, Itadori went for the final blow and ended it

Sadly before it fully faded away, it sent one final disc out

Flying straight past yuji, you didn’t have time to react and it went straight through your neck, essentially decapitating you

Your body falling limp onto the ground, the pink haired boy could only slowly turn around to face you

“...huh?”

Eyes wide as they could possibly be he called out your name and fell to his knees

“You’re joking right? Theres no way this really just happened...right?!” he yelled, voice cracking as he stared at your ‘corpse’

“Ooh such a shame. See if you just swapped places with me they would have lived. Atleast they wouldn’t have died to some low level curse” Sukuna said, mouth appearing on his cheek

“Shut up!”

At this point he was bawling

Tears were flooding out of his eyes even tho its only been about 10 seconds

As his shaking hands slowly picked your body up he mumbled a bunch of apologies but stopped when he saw something

Your head was beginning to regenerate

And he has to admit

Seeing your head fully regen like that was kinda disgusting

Opening your eyes, the first thing you see is a teary eyed boyfriend

“Yuji?” You ask and he pulls you into a very tight hug

“I’m so sorry y/n, I let you...I-I thought you died” he choked, still shaking as he held you

You sighed and returned his hug with as much love as possible

“I realize i never explained my ability to you huh? So you know reverse techniques? Its like that but much more advanced. Unless im completely blown away, i’m pretty sure I can’t die. I do however still feel the pain”

He nods his head at your explanation

You guys sit there for a bit as you quietly reassure everything is fine while rubbing his back

You kiss his cheek and stand up

For the rest of the day he is stuck onto you, just glomped on as much as you’ll allow him to be

It really scared him

It happened so fast and if you really had died...he doesn’t even wanna think about how he’d react

When you returned to the school, you didn’t bother reporting back to the principle or gojo and instead spent the rest of the day chilling with Yuji in the dorms

You could deal with the consequences later because for now

Loving yuji and making sure he’s happy is all that matters

Manga spoilers for Gojo under the cut

Second year!Gojo Satoru:

Its not completely accurate to what happened but shushhh

You guys had just come back from Okinawa and despite being on a serious mission you guys had fun

Well you did stay an extra day solely to stay at the beach but no one needed to know that-

But now the fun’s over and you were back at Jujutsu high safe inside its barriers

You could tell Satoru was absolutely finished with this mission, he was completely over it and exhausted

“Im done. No more baby sitting” he said leaning onto you

Resting his chin on top of your head he let out a yawn which made you laugh a bit

“Suguru. You can do the rest with Amanai right? I wanna go sleep and cuddle with y/n” he complained while wrapping his arms around you but suguru snapped back

“Huh? You think you can just walk away with them before the biggest part of this mission??”

He wanted gojo to see the mission through to the very end and not just ditch to go ‘cuddle with y/n’

When the boys continued to argue, gojo unwrapped his arms from you as he stepped closer towards getou

Sighing you gave riko a look and apologized which she simply smiled at

You only meant to take a step forward to intervene

Only a single small step

But your instincts where screaming that you push Satoru away with no second thought

Why did you follow your instincts so quickly? Why shove him so hard that he almost fell over? And why was there a searing hot pain in your gut?

“Im surprised you managed to push him out of the way on time, makes this whole effort for assassinating pointless don’t you think?”

As you slowly looked down you finally realized a sword had been stabbed into you, and that there was a new face right behind you

Ah, thats why then

“Y/n!!” Satoru yelled, blue eyes widening as he saw blood seep through your clothing and onto the concrete

As he and suguru instantly went into battle mode, the sword was harshly ripped out towards your side and cut an arm off in the process

As suguru used curses to hold toji back, satoru swore he teared up a bit as he picked you up and moved to a more safer spot

He couldn’t lose you, literally anyone but you

He’d be willing to die if you got to live

“Y/n your stomach..and arm..!” he yelled watching the blood pour out of you and showing no sign of stopping

Which just made him grow more and more panicked

You could feel his arms tremble as he held you and see that it was taking everything he had to not let the tears spill

“I-I don’t--this..this is my fault! The second i stop using my power this happens to you!” his emotions where spiraling more and more out of control

He couldn’t even see that the blood had already stopped

“Nothing is your fault Satoru. You can deal with the blame game later and instead go deal with the situation at hand” “But-”

“Satoru. i’ll be fine, focus on the enemy and protecting Riko.” you say wincing, already feeling it everything heal itself

“Fine?? Those injuries arent a ‘im fine’ injuries--!” you cut him off by harshly placing your hands onto his face to help him snap out of it

“Satoru. Im perfectly fine okay? So stop panicking.” you say pressing your forehead to his, though it was a bit awkward since he was taller than you

(if your taller than 190cm props to you and just ignore that part)

“Huh? Can reverse techniques be this advanced for shamans?” he asked, eyes still wide as he gently placed his hand on yours

He was in complete awe that your arm was back and looked perfectly normal

“My ability is basically a more advanced version of Shoko’s ability. I can regenerate anything and will be perfectly fine even if i lose my head. So ignore me for the time being and go kick the intruders ass” you say and he takes a deep breath before nodding his head

“wish you could have told me this before so i could have prevented all this panic” he said making you feel really guilty

“sorry! it just never came up before” you say flexing your regenerated arm, seeing if it felt right or not

You watched as he took off his sunglasses and handed them too you and turned towards Toji who was busy slaying a curse suguru threw at him

“Suguru and I will take Riko to Master Tengens place, im leaving this guy to you okay? Not like he’d win anyways, since after all-” he cut off what you were saying with a kiss before smirking

“After all, Im the strongest”

[shipforshippers]

Hidden Inventory Arc (Jujutsu Kaisen): Aftershocks

Gojo's Past aka Hidden Inventory arc is probably did something that took Naruto to 448 chapters (Obito's storyline) to complete in just 14 chapters.

Boy did Gege Akutami hit the ball out of the park with this arc! Here is the listicle of my selective Brain farts and aftershock of reading this arc. Some are good things, some are just my own queries and some are bad things to wish to be improved.

Aftershocks:

1. Friendships: Utahime Iori and Shoko Ieiri have a really underrated and precious friendship, that I would like to see. Something like in Jujutsu scroll.

2. Shoko Ieiri: I know people say Nobara Kugisaki is a better version of Sakura from Naruto. I say you are wrong! Shoko leiri is the better version of Sakura.

Please don't @ me!!!!!!!

Sakura Haruno in Naruto is somebody who has always worked under the shadow of these two Godlike Shinobis. She has always walked behind them, in her own words. She is a medical assistant. She is friends with the tsundere from another team(Ino). She does have some personal issues and she has learned to deal with them in punches. BUT we are here for Shoko Ieiri, She is the third member of the Godlike Socercers' team. She is doesn't go on dangerous missions. She is a medical assistant. She is friends with the tsundere from another team(Utahime). See, what I mean when I say they have so many things in common. BUT there is a key difference between these two ladies. Shoko has never relied on the boys. She never yearned for their approval. In fact, after committing heinous crimes Geto came to visit her, and in response asking him to come back she knew her boys well enough to let them have their last conversation. Even as an adult, she is the one who sided with Gojo on Yuji's death.

YES, I know that Sakura and Shoko both are different character types. One is kind of tsundere and the other is emo type. Having said that, I know these two ladies had served a similar kind of purpose for their respective duo. Neither of the ladies has tons of details on them but one is given respectable characterization and another one has tokenism, guess which one is which?

3. Hidden gems - principal Yaga and Kuroi Misato: Well, he is not a principal in this timeline. Yet, the punching Gojo gave me flashbacks of the Goodwill event.

This is something that so many anime have done in past so well. And there is a solid reason that this kind of dynamics works. serious teacher- idiot student! their affection and understanding are great character dynamics.

Kuroi Misato, the caretaker of Riko. She was more than that she was family to Riko. She was badass through and through! Also a fan of Mario Kart just like Nobara. I thought she needed a special mention.

4. Character deaths: Gege from the beginning was not afraid to kill his characters. whether Yuji in the very second arc, Junpei in the following arc, Gege Akutami killed his character if it was necessary for our trio. However, it is Riko's death that catapulted us into whatever we are getting currently. It moved the plot in an instant with a shock to everybody's system. Needless to say, it was very well done! But, dear god, Riko was a sweetheart! honestly, when Gojo carried Riko's body, that made my eyes tear up!

Evil but the absolute genius stroke was when Riko realized and had the real option to go back and live a normal life, in that exact moment her life was taken away from her. like I said, evil but genius!

5. Trash talk: I mean Toji and Satoru did name-call each other. But seriously they should take pointers from Nobara. Boy does she do a great job in trash talk!! And no that is not an observation, it is a fact!

6. Chapter 69: Just ignore the number. The thing I am getting into is not something new. People before me and a lot more credible than me have said this. However, here I go, the one thing that is difficult about JJK, is the art style whenever the story kicks into gare. The art style gets all lines and mushy whenever the battle starts. And it is not good when you are a battle shounen manga! But personally, sometimes this art style makes it difficult to read the manga (though it might be not for everyone). So as a result I find anime does one better here. But this very chapter is easy to read. It was easy to flow. I am not well versed in a manga art form, but when I see one I know one. And as much as I love the story, but when the story goes into a battle mode I have to reread some parts or google later on to understand what is happening. That being said Chapter 69 (Yes! I am giggling, I will give you some time to giggle also), by far the easiest to read. All the action scenes were easy to read, all the funny scenes landed perfectly. So, Kudos!!! More of this, please!

7. Bits and pieces: a) Yuki had an eye on Maki, is that what page 134 was about? b) You can't convenience me that; Geto has a rainbow dragon, the cover page of chapter 63, and cover page of chapter 77 is not gay! There are gay, and I am happy about it!

c)Gojo looking up at his students, smiling like crazy, was such a dad thing to do! Add to that it was only Megumi person to question about that said smile, had my heart filled with warm familiar love!!!

8. Toji Fushiguro: What is there to say that has not been already said on the internet for this fictional character. I mean, I would have loved it if some people would have kept it to them about this man. However, here are my 2 cents about this man, I simp for Toji Fushiguro!

What were expecting?! I mean look at all the fan art he has, how can you not simp for him? regardless of which spectrum you lie on. He is hot in almost all his fanart. I am also surprised that so many people missed the fact that Gege Akutami called Toji, Papa-guro?! No one is gone to question that? that how utterly cute that it is!

If you have come this far then I would like to thank you! Also please leave your favorite fanfics recordations in notes cause I am lazy!! thank you!!!

[quazartranslates]

Welcome to the Nightmare Game - CH102

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

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Chapter 102: Slaughter Secret Society (IV)

{cw: sexual stereotyping}

When the rain stopped the next day, Qi Leren, who had been exercising at home for half a day, received a banquet invitation from a bat sent by Mrs. Kathleen. Qi Leren put the invitation letter in his inventory and went into the bathroom with deep pain - the make-up.

Yes, this was also a new skill he had mastered in ten days. Except for the red tattoo on the corner of his eye, which was painted with special material and had to be erased with special chemicals, all the other dressings have to be prepared by himself. Of course, these styles were all designed by the Trials Office, and strived to make anyone think at first sight that he was a gay man with a good “yooooo” aesthetic.

Qi Leren did not protest against this, but he insisted that a person's sexual orientation could not be judged from his appearance. Even if he was dressed in a straight style, it didn’t mean that his sexual orientation was straight. However, the court rejected his opinion, and their purpose was to make him look like a gay man. As for whether he was or not, the Court indicated that they couldn’t control him.

Half an hour later, Qi Leren looked at his unrecognizable self in the mirror and felt melancholy.

Although make-up was a good skill to have, a man doing it would be treated as a pervert…

After finishing crossdressing, Qi Leren finally examined himself in front of the mirror. Today's clothes weren’t low-necked and open-navel, but it looked strange after being accessorized with a collar. It was like going to an S&M party with a whip tied around the waist.

Qi Leren repeatedly hypnotized himself. Right now he was Red, not Qi Leren, so he walked out of the house with his head held high. Of course, in order to keep a low profile, he still put on his cloak.

On the way to the party, Qi Leren vaguely felt that someone seemed to be following him, probably from the Court, but he didn't care. Soon he came to the place written on the invitation letter.

The present destination seemed to be a small bar, which was located in the area of the Twilight Township where most NPCs were concentrated. The handsome waiter outside the door asked him if he had an invitation letter, and after seeing the invitation letter sandwiched between Qi Leren's fingers, he greeted him respectfully.

The feeling of being followed disappeared, and Qi Leren followed the waiter through the lively dance floor and walked into a quiet corridor.

"Keep walking along the hall, there is a door at the end, and someone will show you the way," said the waiter.

Qi Leren snorted lightly, stuffed the common currency used between NPCs in Nightmare World into the waiter's collar, and whispered in his ear lightly: "Thank you for guiding me, baby."

The waiter turned red, and some took a step back in a panic. He bowed and left under the teasing gaze of Qi Leren. The speed was much faster than when he came, for fear of losing his virginity if he took a slow step.

Qi Leren’s "evil charm smile" had already reached an advanced level in the business of flirting with straight men, and he walked slowly to the waiter at the end of the corridor... Well, he had already seen the waiter opposite’s face pale. Good, it seemed that this was also a straight man, easy to flirt with.

“It's fun to flirt with straight men” ——BY Qi Leren, who was having bitter fun.

After walking to the waiter and speaking flirtily, Qi Leren smoothly entered the space hidden in the bar’s basement. After the humble door was opened, mirrors and masks were hung on both sides of the wall behind the door. Each mask was beautifully decorated, looking gorgeous and elegant. Qi Leren couldn't help but pay more attention to it.

"Are you Mr. Red? Welcome, welcome." Ashley, the young man who had been saved by Qi Leren, came out from the corner and spoke with awe and excitement.

After being rescued by Red yesterday, Ashley has been thinking about this mysterious predecessor, and he was also very concerned about the man who’d played against Red. He vaguely felt that there was some kind of entanglement between them. After he told Mrs. Kathleen about it, Mrs. Kathleen just smiled and touched his cheek, saying that she also liked to play with the hierophants of the Holy See. Somehow, Ashley's heart was full of acidity.

Across from him Red nodded lightly, not caring about his complicated mood.

Ashley took a masquerade mask off from the wall and put it on his face: "Mr. Red should also choose one. Our party is a masquerade, and everyone will be wearing a mask."

With that said, he secretly looked at the side of Red’s face. He still looked so cold, but so charming, the delicate side of his face and that red tattoo in the yellow light filling him with a sense of colourful desire. With a smile on his face, he squinted at him, and his vapid, feminine voice sounded, "Oh? Why don't you choose for me?"

Ashley's face turned red and he felt overwhelmed under Red’s gaze, and even the wound from being stabbed by the Trail didn’t hurt.

"I... I think this one is very nice and suitable for you, predecessor," Ashley said pointing to one of the masks.

The mask was a half-piece, covering only the upper half of the face and covered with golden wire-drawing. There were two bright red patterns at the position of the tear groove, just like two tears, and the corner of the mask had a moon-like arc, just to reveal the tattoo on his face.

Red stretched out his hand and took the mask off the wall, putting it on his face. The silver mask made him mysterious and elegant, while the tattoo exposed in the hollow part added a few charm points to him. He looked in the mirror on the wall for a while narcissistically, then turned to Ashley and said, "You have a good eye."

"Predecessor is the one who’s won the prize."

Ashley, who bowed his head as he spoke, suddenly saw a white and beautiful hand appear in front of his eyes. The slender index finger lifted his chin. He raised his face in panic and saw Red’s face close to his. The half-mask covered his upper face, but it highlighted the charming curve of his bright red lips. He was so close that he almost touched the tip of Ashley’s nose.

"Don't waste me saving your life. So... How are you going to repay me?" Red whispered in his ear.

Ashley's comely face suddenly rose with crimson, and he glanced at Red in a panic, and then, under his smiling gaze, he closed his eyes tightly, with a shy appearance allowing this to continue.

"..." Play, play it off!

Qi Leren growled in his heart, and stood stiffly in the same place, lying in the trough, talking about a good straight man! He's a straight man pretending to be gay, and of course he only goes after straight men! What's wrong with you, you little gay! He’d only done this twice yet already gotten caught by it?! People shouldn’t respond this well!

Ashley, who didn't wait for the kiss, secretly opened his eyes. The mysterious man who hooked his chin smiled lightly and bit him full on the earlobe: "You’re so cute."

With that said, Red stepped back and blew him a kiss, swaying into the underground corridor.

Ashley gawked at his back, and the earlobe he’d bitten was burning hot. He didn't know what was wrong with him. Obviously he only liked women, but it was as if he’d been poisoned when he saw how attractive and charming the predecessor Red was. Even if he was a man, his heart beat faster for him.

Was it because the predecessor Red had saved him that he had that kind of nestling complex?

Ashley shook his head to dismiss the blushing thoughts and quickly chased after him.

The low-key bronze door opened, loud music suddenly burst out, and gorgeous lights lit the basement, illuminating the room full of men and women having fun. Mrs. Kathleen, draped in tulle and leaning against the Roman column by the door, wore a feather mask and held a glass of bright wine. She showed a charming smile to Red as he stood at the door: "Welcome to our carnival feast. Have fun."

After Red paused, he looked around at the men and women who were dressed revealingly and whispered, "My pleasure."

In fact, at this moment, Qi Leren's heart was broken: Hello, is this 110? Someone here is having a divine feast of the body, gathering people to have sex and wreak chaos. Come and save me!!!

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Editor’s Notes: Qi Leren’s just going around the Nightmare World causing everyone to have gay realizations lol. Happy Lunar New Year and Happy Valentine’s Day! <3

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[yuujism]

Sun and Night. (gojo satoru x reader)

Chapter 2: Need

← chapter 1 | chapter 3 →

| PAIRINGS: gojo satoru x reader; hints of getou suguru x reader x gojo satoru

| WARNINGS: ⚠️ SPOILERS FOR HIDDEN INVENTORY ARC ⚠️ suggestive language, toxicity, toxic gojo, toxic reader, angst, grammar errors

| WORD COUNT: idk lol i’ll count it later

| A/N: this is the second chapter of sun and night!! just didn’t want to make it into one chapter because personally i kinda get tired of reading ?? idk so i’m dividing into 3-4 chapters hehe!! so you can see where this is going with this chapter !! next chapter will have some smut so yeah 😎 hope you like it

summary;

You and Satoru were in love.

You were both so deeply in love, just not with each other.

Where you and Satoru found comfort in each other after the accident happened.

Chapter 2: Need

It was really obvious.

The way Satoru treated you was different since that day and everyone noticed it. You couldn’t bring yourself to care though.

Years passed after Suguru’s death, marking a before and after in both you and Satoru’s lives. Your mind and body grew tired of the mourning and the countless of lonely nights filled with tears and regrets, the whisper of your name coming to you like a fantasy. Like a memory that never really happened.

Satoru tried to get busy in an attempt to not think back at his best friend, getting into teaching and being a pain in the ass to the higher ups. It seemed way too Satoru-like: acting like nothing ever happened.

The hatred you felt towards the strongest sorcerer quickly became an envy you couldn’t hide.

You envied how easy it was for him to forget Suguru, remembering the way he couldn’t even tell you your first love died right in front of his eyes. You envied how strong he was and how different you were in every aspect of your life. You envied the way Satoru could just keep going with his life.

The both of you didn’t try to hide the bad blood between you, disregarding and ignoring each other outside the mandatory professional interactions you had. When asked about by your students, the same answer was given from the two sorcerers:

“We just don’t get along.”

And it was the truth. You didn’t get along.

Even when you tried to remember a friendly interaction between you and Satoru when Suguru was still alive, nothing came to your mind.

Satoru could’ve decided to hide his hatred towards you, he just didn’t want to. He didn’t even bother to hide the drop of his smile whenever someone mentioned you or whenever you entered the room. He still thought you didn’t deserve Suguru, not as much as he did at least. And that made Satoru’s blood boil.

He was the one who heard Suguru’s last words. He was the one who Suguru trusted in. He was the one. Enough said.

Of course you were aware of that. After all, they were both with and for each other. Even if it hurt your pride to admit, you were not stupid enough to deny the adoration those two had for one another.

You were just glad Satoru never brought the topic to the table and didn’t seem to have any intentions for it.

Or so you thought.

It wasn’t till the both of you were paired for a mission in the woods that everything started to go downhill for the third time in your whole fucked up relationship.

In the end, Satoru did most of the work. You really didn’t know why Yaga kept pairing you both when he knew Satoru was capable enough to take any curse by himself. It irritated you to no end how Yaga kept being a stoic asshole after all these years.

And Satoru knew that as well. You couldn’t even miss the cocky remarks he would do after every mission.

Unluckily for you more than for him, your patience wasn’t having it this time.

“Yay! Another job well done by me!” Satoru cheered for himself as he walked in front of you as he removed his blindfold to put his sunglasses on, raising his long arms in victory before turning back to face you, a sneer on his face. “Anyway, good job, I guess.”

Satoru wasn’t quick enough to turn around before he saw your whole cold facade crumble in front of his eyes, the words coming out of your mouth catching him off guard.

“Fuck, don’t you ever shut the fuck up?” You couldn’t stop yourself from gradually exploding, the fiercely murmur barely reaching Satoru’s ears who just grinned maliciously.

“Why are you mad? I just told you good job” His as-a-matter-of-factly tone didn’t help your anger, noticing how he also stopped in his spot to look down on you from afar. “You really get mad at everything. Not getting laid?”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed, walking past him not really being in the mood to argue with a man hitting his thirties acting like an actual child.

God, you were better than this. Better than him in this way at the very least.

“Or still can’t get over your unrequited love?”

Now, Satoru knew that was a low blow, even for himself. But oh, how he hated you. How he liked to see your face twist into pain and anger because of his snarky comments. You deserved it. You deserved to be hated by him and he would show it any chance he got. Satoru was ready for your outburst, maybe expecting you to use your technique against him and show you how useless it was.

But what he didn’t expect was for you to stop in your tracks and turn around calmly, a lot more clam than what Satoru liked.

Your eyes locked on his for the first time since your first discussion years ago and Satoru tensed under your gaze. He didn’t want you to look through him again, but he knew you had already seen everything you needed to see.

A nostalgic yet mocking grin adorned your face, not quite reaching your empty eyes.

“Never thought it would be you to bring up these feelings after all this time.”

And, this time, it was Satoru’s facade that crumbled down.

Because it was true. Neither of you ever mentioned Suguru to each other or the feelings you both knew you had towards the deceased sorcerer. Because, unknowingly, Satoru just admitted how jealous he also felt that you felt the same for Suguru.

No, not the same.

“Feelings?” Satoru mocked you with a twisted smirk as he took off his glasses, eyes filled with a fire you couldn’t describe. “Don’t make me laugh. You didn’t have feelings for him. Suguru was just a whim for you!”

This was the second time Satoru yelled at you and it almost felt like a deja vu. You jolted, the tone of his voice reaching deep within you to light the same fire that was burning in those blue eyes. You were glad you were still in the outside where nobody could stop or hear you.

“You really are thick in the head, aren’t you?” You yelled back, walking towards him in an agressive manner. “A whim? A fucking whim?” You laughed painfully, stopping inches away from him. “I loved Suguru more than you could ever imagine. What? Too jealous you weren’t the only one down bad? Oh! Boohoo!”

“Oh, shut the fuck up!” He bit back, throwing his glasses to the side to grab you by the collar. “You don’t even deserve to love Suguru! I do! He was my one and only, not yours. I did more for him than you ever did in your pathetic life!”

“Fuck off! Don’t you think I didn’t know that?!” God, you hated the way how your voice cracked in the end in front of him, tears creeping to your eyes as your hands flew to Satoru’s wrists. His infinity was surprisingly off. “I fucking knew it! God, the way you looked at him was enough for me to know you loved him just as much...” Tears started rolling down your cheeks, Satoru’s grip tightening. “I envied you for that. Fuck, I even envy how you don’t feel pain anymore.”

Satoru really didn’t mean to let this escalate this far, but what kind of bullshit were you spitting now? He was so angry, he didn’t even care about the fact your small hands and nails were digging into his skin.

“Are you dumb enough to believe I don’t think about what I could’ve done differently every day of my life?” Satoru’s tone was low now, blue eyes piercing into you with disdain. “I blame myself for his death. Do you? Tell me right now. Do you blame yourself?”

“Yes.” The lack of hesitation made Satoru let out a snort, and you didn’t let him interrupt you with his complaining again. “I blame myself as much as I blame you. While we were busy trying to get stronger after what happened with Master Tengen, he was suffering and we didn’t notice. We didn’t want to notice.”

Silence sourrounded you both, the grip on your collar loosening as the seconds passed by. You knew Satoru was having a hard time processing all this. The emotions, the discussion, letting out everything he hid for years and finally accepting your feelings towards Suguru. As if he was the one who decided on who could love him and who couldn’t.

His gaze never left your face, trying to deny the undeniable: all those times years ago, even when he thought he was doing a great job at hiding it, you could see right through him. You knew how much Satoru loved Suguru and you knew how he also swept Suguru’s feelings under the rug. You were just like him.

But, fuck, how he hated you.

How he hated your now soft eyes looking at him as if he was an injured lamb crying for help. How even if he towered over you as he had you in a strong grip, you didn’t seem to flinch over your next actions. Hated the way your hands made their way to the sides of his face, the coldness sending shivers down his spine as his breath hitched in his throat.

But what Satoru hated the most was the way he was probably feeling the same as you right now.

He wasn’t going to deny it anymore. At least, not this time.

“You know I hate you, right?” Satoru whispered, letting go of your collar to place his large hands on the sides of your neck, face a breath away from yours.

The faint brush of his lips against yours sent mixed signals to your brain. Don’t do it. This is a mistake. That’s dangerous territory. He’s literally Gojo Satoru.

But, holy hell, the way his hands travelled down your sides, reaching your hips after leaving a trail of fire on your skin, made you throw every worry out of the window. You needed this.

You both needed this.

“Yes, I know.”

And that was enough for Satoru to capture your lips in a feral kiss, the grip on your hips pulling you close to his body as your hands tangled in his white locks, pulling harshly as your tongues fought each other for dominance. You almost missed the way Satoru whined against your mouth at a certain pull on his hair, nails digging into the flesh of your hips as he grinded his growing erection against your stomach. And it really felt heavenly, having this anger come out through this kiss was the best option you could find.

But something was off.

Even if Satoru was the one kissing you as if his life depended on it, you couldn’t help but picture Suguru. His voice, his touch, his scent... everything was Suguru. A mere fantasy again and this time it hurt more than you think it would.

“S-Satoru, hold up.” You mumbled between kisses, trying to pull away by pushing him by his chest.

Satoru looked at you through half-lidded eyes, panting through parted lips the same as you as you stared at each other with guilt in your eyes. His hold in your hips released to place them in your cheeks, almost as if he was trying to make sure you were actually you. And that’s when realisation hit you like a truck.

“You...” You started hesitantly, looking down at your own hands on his chest. “You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”

A second. Then two. Then a few other more passed and Satoru just seemed to have had a bucket of cold ice water thrown at him. It was almost as if you were inside of his own head. It was annoying.

“Fuck.” Satoru growled, finally pulling away from you as both of his hands ran through his hair desperately, turning away from your figure. “Fuck, I’m... I mean, yes, I was thinking of... Fuck!”

God, he was spiralling again. Of course he was thinking of Suguru. Satoru was thinking of your lips being Suguru’s, your touch, everything. Fulfilling the dream he could never live. And now you were probably going to have an argument again about how that kiss was a mist—

“Satoru.” Your hand on his back made him jolt, slapping himself mentally for not turning his infinity on after getting away from you.

He turned to face you, your features giving him a sweet smile as your other hand reached for the side of his face once again. Satoru didn’t like the way his heart jumped at your touch.

“It’s okay,” You murmured lowly, pulling Satoru close to your face once again as he calmed down. Your now warm hands reached behind his neck this time, his hands instinctively flying to your waist as your bodies got close to each other. Satoru was putty in your hands once again as he looked down at your parted lips.

“I was thinking about him too.”