#Hanji x f!reader

[vay99]

Hanji x f!reader

Drunk

Anime/Manga: Attack on titan

"Oh no." you say as you find Hanji drunk in the dining hall. 

"OH NO." you say as Erwin returns to their table with another bottle of wine, clearly drunk. 

"Oh no no no no no." you say as you see Levi laying on the floor, he definitely drank too much. 

"Ooooh (y/n)! Come drink with uuus!" Hanji calls you over.

"I uhm." 

"Somon geht me... to ma bed." Levi slurs, failing to stand up. 

"I feel like a babysitter, God damn." you speak to yourself as you help Levi to stand up properly, one arm around your shoulder. 

"Erwin, help me. Now." you command your boss, but you couldn't care less. While you're helping Levi reach his room, Hanji follows you and talks about every nonsense. 

"No, Erwin, don't. Hah... whatever." you put the blanket over Levi and Erwin, who just collapsed onto the bed, and leave with Hanji. 

"You know that Titan heads are light as a feather?" 

"Yes Hanji, I do." 

"And that Titans-" 

"Okay, Hanji, I know all of your Titan facts. Every breakfast, every lunch and every dinner." you stop her, cause dunken Titan facts are too much for your brain right now. 

"Aaaaaaaaaah, theeen... what would you do if the Titans would be gone. Like this, poof. Gone." Hanji asks as you've reached her room. 

"Probably hide all alcohol so we can actually enjoy our freedom." you laugh, trying to get her into her bed. 

"Nooo, I don't want sleep. Staying up." she complains like a child. 

"Hanji, stop it. You need sleep now. If I let you walk around you'll get hurt, like always. You're a genius but once you're drunk you're- Stop chewing on your pillow." 

"Stay with meeee (y/n), then I'll sleep." 

"Okay." you give in, getting comfortable on her bed. 

"(y/n), how do you think titans have sex?" Hanji asks once you lay down next to hear. 

"I don't wanna know."

"But whyyyy? It's interesting. Do they hide their genitals or do they have other methods. Uuuuh what if titan babies are born threw their spit?!" Hanji sits up straight in bed, in total euphoria. 

"Hanji, lay down and go to sleep. No more titans." you pull her back by her arm. 

"(y/n)?" 

"Go to sleep." losing your patience you're about to snap. 

"What would you do if the Titans would be gone? And we wouldn't have to fight?" she repeats the question from earlier. 

"I don't know, I've been a soldier ever since 15. I can't imagine a different life." you stare at the ceiling, the candle spending a bit light. "And you?" 

"I wanna see the world outside. With all of you. No fights, just discovering everything. And find Levi a girlfriend, he seems so sexual frustrated." Hanji stares at her hands while talking, making her kast comment even more hilarious. 

"Aren't we all?" you start laughing in which she joins in. 

After the laughter dyed down Hanji rolls herself over and lays, face down, in your boobs. "This is heaven." and passes out, immediately snoring. "I like boobs." 

"Me too, me too Hanji." patting her head before drifting off to sleep as well. 

Hanji wakes up with a major headache, waking you up threw her groaning. 

"My head." she complains, rolling around as she holds her head. 

"Then go back to sleep." you yawn, still tired from the night, dragging drunken idiots around can be exhausting. 

"(y/n)????? What are you doing here?" she gasps, sitting up a little too fast. "Argh my head." 

"I'll get you a pill." you sigh, leaving the warm bed as you shuffle towards the bathroom. 

Swallowing the pill with water made Hanjis headache endurable. 

"Thanks (y/n)." she sets her glass down again as she hides under the blanket. "What, what did I do yesterday?" 

"Oh just the usual, talking about titans, how much you love them, that you want levi go get a girlfriend, what you'd do if the walls disappeared, you know, the usual." you explain, feet playing with the blanket. 

"Haha, that's good to hear." the stone falling off her chest was probably heard outside the walls as well, until... 

"Oh and you said you liked me~" you joke, remembering her diving straight, or rather jot so straight, jn between your breasts. 

"OH NO! I'm so sorry, I wanted to confess on a better way..." Hanji rolls around on the bed, clearly panicking. 

"You just did." you burst into laughter, holding her wrist so she stops pulling her hair, and eventually going bold. 

"Huh?"

"You didn't actually confess, you only layed, face down, on my boobs and said 'this is heaven'." you think about last night, chuckling as you watch her cheeks turn pink.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? Boobs are heaven. And you're always welcome in my heaven~" you whisper as you're slowly leaning in, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"I-I-I, yes." she nods, jumping into your arms.

"Sometimes I forget that you're older then me."

"You still love me, jokes on you." she mutters into your chest.

"Yeah I do, but if you don't go back to sleep I'll make Levi haunt you." you warn her with a sweet voice, patting her head.

"Good night (y/n)."

"Good night Hanji."

"(y/n)?"

"Mhm?"

"How do you think titans have sex?"

"..."

"I'll better run, bye. AAAAAAH!"

[sunboki]

— TEASER

You and Han Jisung are the ultimate best friends. While he’s busy nerding away, you’re filling him in on the latest and greatest drama. That’s until he brings up crushes. And I mean, what’re you supposed to say when he asks you that? It’s not like Jisung’s your crush… right?

📓 » Han Jisung x f. reader

GENRE┊non idol au, friends to lovers, (kinda) enemies to lovers, two idiots being oblivious, fake relationship au, highschool au, angst, fluff, slowburn

WORD COUNT┊estimated to be around 5k-6k words

WARNINGS┊profanity, lack of communication, childish pettiness, stupidity at insane levels

AUG’S NOTES┊if you don’t have a date this valentines, just know we’re both in the same boat ☹️ hopefully some hanji will help!!

THE BOYFRIEND STATUS TAGLIST — OPEN

The first night of your downfall all started in mid-January.

All was well and had been going well, until it wasn’t.

You’ve known Han Jisung since second grade, starting with having to apologize for knocking over his castle and him proceeding to cry even louder in the sandbox, snotty in his red and white striped shirt.

You swear that shirt is still in his closet.

And when he was wimping away in a corner, you were the one that got him out of his shell. To this day you’re convinced you’re the first person to ever witness the true Han Jisung, who starts slapping things when he laughs really hard, who gets overly competitive during board games, who keeps hundreds of mind-blowing tracks he’s produced to himself, and who (you wouldn’t admit it) has one of the prettiest smiles in the world.

Freshman year of high school you met Jisung again in your Geography class.

Initially, it took you a moment to recognize his face, having changed quite a bit over the years. And certainly not a bad kind of change. Although, his nerdy personality was all the assurance you needed to figure out it was him, apart from that he switched to contacts, grew his hair out more, and looked, y’know, “older.”

Older as in: what happened to you? ..Why are you so attractive?

But you won’t get too far into that.

Through the years he tutored you. Jisung had a knack for studying since day one, and despite occasionally looking like he could pass as a dropout (usually the week before finals), no one else could maintain better grades than him.

So, on a night both you and Jisung were slouched over your desk, procrastinating school work by rating people at school from most to least kissable, he turns to you, face halfway illuminated by your lamp.

“Do you like anyone?” Your boba-eyed friend asks while you aimlessly scroll through your camera roll in search of the photo you’d been talking about, mumbling a quiet “of course” in response.

Jisung makes an unconvinced noise and clasps his hands together, leaning forward.

“No like, like like anybody.”

Finally escaping your ‘rating people’s kissing-capabilities’ headspace and now entering into your ‘is this the question i think it is?’ one, you wipe your sweaty palms on your jeans.

It’s a strange question, not a Jisung-question, and you find yourself growing increasingly nervous the longer he stares at you.

You’ve never even thought about it really, so why are you so sweaty? Why does your heart feel as if it may just beat out of your chest, why is your mouth so dry?

Questions.

Clearing your throat and secretly praying it didn’t give away your piling anxiety, you feign a roll of your eyes, tapping your fingernail on the cool desk.

God, why are you so nervous?

“Um, nobody, why?” You retort, ignoring the scrutinizing squint of his eyes watching you.

It’s never like this. You’re the one that teases, gets him all shy, stumbling over his words. So now you suddenly feel like Jerry and he’s Tom.

Abnormal.

“C’mon, there has to be someone you think is cute,” He whines, and before you can stop it one word smacks you upside the head.

You.

“It’s Minho!” You shout, hurried and barely audible as if trying to tune out your inner panic.

Han looks stunned.

Han as in best friend, not crush. Right.

What were you thinking?

“..Min.. Minho?” He phrases slowly, evidently surprised.

Being completely honest, you’re just as surprised as he is. Minho is attractive, sure, but never in your life did you consider him like that.

Oh how you wished you could erase all of this from ever happening.

It doesn’t make sense. Because it’s not like you’re into Jisung. Or are you?

Nope. Nuh-uh. You were just caught off guard and unprepared. Not to mention it was an unexpected question, that’s all.

Fuck.

You like Jisung. There’s no point of lying to yourself anymore. From the start of seeing him again, those “friendly” gestures weren’t friendly anymore, they were intentional, pursuing. Walking from class to class together, constantly checking your texts, meeting his eyes only to smile like fools.

“Yep. Minho. That’s the guy,” Cutting each sentence shorter than the last, you nod fervently, avoiding his gaze.

Both soaking in utterly hellish silence, the tension was likely seeping through the cracks in your door at this rate.

He really shouldn’t have ever brought this up, and you shouldn’t have said Minho. So on the bright side, at least you’re both at fault here in the grand scheme of things.

“..Alright then.” He shrugs and goes back to writing down notes, ignoring how the room feels a hundred degrees hotter and that every inch of your soul is drenched in a cold sweat, plagued with the situation you landed yourself in.

What has gotten into you?

sunboki, may 2022 ©

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : BF!Han Jisung x F!Reader TW : established relationship ; arguing ; panicked Jisung ; kind of angsty but mainly fluff ; a little suggestive at the end ; Word Count : 3.0k Request : @moon0fthenight : a hanji fic (angst cause its ur forte OFC) where you have a small argument with him, and so you give him space understandingly, but he misunderstands your intention and thinks that you are givjng silent treatment so breaks down with a panic attack and vents all his work struggle and you comfort him

“Thank you!” You chimed as you grabbed the carry out bag from the girl working the window, making sure it wouldn’t tip over before moving out of the drive-thru lane and heading back out on the road again. 

Jisung and the rest of 3RACHA had been working late nights yet again, staying up until the crack of dawn trying to perfect the songs that would be coming out in the next album that hadn’t even been announced yet. They were always ahead, but you worried about them and their lack of rest. That’s just one of the reasons you were heading out to the studio right now, the scent of grease from the fast food filling your car, and while you knew it wasn’t the healthiest meal, you wanted it to be something quick that they could munch on, and then hopefully they’d all decide to just head on home and get some sleep when they were done eating. 

Making your way into the building and over to the elevator, you clutched the bag in one hand and the cup holder in the other hand against your chest, hoping that you wouldn’t accidentally drop or spill any on your way to the studio. It was a surprise, you wanted the guys, especially Jisung, to know that you cared about them. 

As you walked down the hallway, the soda in the cups sloshing against the plastic lids, you could hear them faintly talking behind one of the doors. The light of Chans computer slipped through the crack between the actual door and the frame, and you wondered just how focused they had been on working that they didn’t even shut the door all the way. 

At least it would make it easier for you to get into the room, and you nudged the door with your hip to push it open further, flashing your brightest smile to the guys who all looked up at you with the most confused looks. “Jisung…” Changbin muttered to your boyfriend who sighed heavily before pushing himself up off the couch. 

“It’s late… What are you doing here?” He asked as he walked over to you, eyeing the food that you were holding before his eyes moved back up to your face. It surely wasn’t the reaction that you were expecting, but you wrote it off as them just being tired. 

You held up the food bag, your smile never faltering, although it felt like the guys in the room were less than happy that you had come in. “I brought you all some food, you’ve been working so hard. I just wanted to check up on you three…” You explained, finally setting the bag of food down on the little side table before placing down the cup holder as well. “I was wondering when you’d come home… I’m worried about you all.” 

“Jisung…” Chan now said his name, more sternly this time as he swiveled his chair around, removing the headphones from his ears and dangling them around his neck. They were all staring at you, and the looks that you were getting from the three were a mixture of annoyance, irritation, and even a little bit of anger. 

“Sorry, hyung…” Jisung mumbled, placing his hand on the small of your back and leading you out of the studio and back into the hallway. “You don’t have to check up on me. I’m not a baby.” Jisung said sharply once he had gotten you out of the room, and the words hit you a little harder than they probably would have if he had just said them over a call or through text. “If I’m not home, and I’m not answering your calls or your texts, then just assume I’m busy and don’t bother me. This is setting us back. You’re setting us back right now.” 

You had gone out of your way to make sure they were fed, you had done it out of the kindness of your heart, because you cared about your boyfriend and you cared about his friends, and they were all looking at you like some sort of burden. It was one thing for Chan and Bin to look at you that way, you didn’t really care, but for your boyfriend to see you in that light, that was painful. “I was just… I was trying to make sure you ate… I wanted to make sure you were okay…” You whispered, trying to swallow down the lump that was forming in your throat. 

Jisungs eyes were like daggers as he rolled them, shadowed in the low light of the dimly lit hallway. “I didn’t ask for that. You came here unannounced, we were doing good, we were almost finished. I just need some space, that’s all I’m asking for. Space and time to get done the things I need to do. You think you can manage to let me have that?” 

While you hoped that he didn’t really mean the things that he was saying, you couldn’t be sure considering the fact that he sounded so serious right now. “Y-Yeah… I’m sorry…” Was all you could manage to say. What else could you say to that? You didn’t come here expecting an argument, you didn’t come here thinking that he’d be mad at you for surprising him. You had been completely sideswiped by his and the other guys' reactions, and all you could do was feel the pain from his words as you backtracked down the hallway, the sound of the door slamming shut echoing off the walls on either side of you. 

Space… Time and space… That’s what he needed, and that’s what you’d give him. With much thought, you realized that he was just working hard, and maybe you were a little bit overbearing at times, but that’s just because you loved him, you cared about him. It was hard, but you’d give him what he needed so he and the guys could get done what they needed to do, and then when that was over, you’d be able to talk to him hopefully. 

You packed a couple clothes and other necessities into a small bookbag, heading to your parents house under the pretense that you missed them and the house felt lonely without Jisung there. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but you weren’t going to tell your parents about the small tiff that you and your boyfriend got into either. You’d stay there for a couple days, not just to give him the space, but to keep yourself from overthinking about his words, because while you had come to the conclusion that he didn’t actually mean them, it didn’t change the fact that they still hurt. 

It was easy to keep yourself busy while you were there. You hadn’t seen your family in so long, that a better half of your stay was just you catching up with them and talking to them about how things had been since you were gone. You went shopping and helped with dinner and chores, and you spent late nights staying up watching shows with your mom just to make up for missed time. You barely even had your phone on you, let alone the time to check it for texts. 

“Hey babe, we finished working on the album! Wanna celebrate with us?” “Totally cool if you don’t want to do a group celebration. Maybe you and I can go out for dinner or something?” “I miss you, I haven’t seen you in a bit. I’m coming home today, I spent the night at the dorms, I can’t wait to sleep in our bed with you again.” “Are you busy with work or something? You haven’t answered in a whole 24 hours and that’s totally not like you… I love you!!” “I came home and you’re not here… You’re just working… Right?” “Your toothbrush is gone…” “Your brush is gone…” “Your clothes and your bookbag are gone… I really hope that maybe we just got robbed and you’re at work right now or something because I’m getting kinda scared…” “Babe…?” “I know that what I said wasn’t nice and I’m sorry, please don’t leave me. I love you so much, you don’t understand.” “Baby, please. I’m getting scared, I’m really scared. Tell me you’re coming back. Just call me. Please I didn’t mean it!”

When you finally got to check your phone close to the end of your visit, your entire lock screen was filled with notifications from him, and when you checked them, you silently cursed yourself for not checking your phone more often while you were there. The last thing you wanted to do was to make him think that you were actually mad at him, but you knew how he was, and you knew he was probably freaking out already considering the last message was sent a day ago. If he wasn’t panicking to the other guys at the moment, you were sure he was lying in bed crying. 

“Ji ended up coming back home a little earlier than we thought.” You excused yourself as you walked through the living room with your bag swung over your shoulder. “I had a great time, I’ll come back and do this again soon, I promise.” You hated having to leave your family on such short notice, but with Jisungs anxiety and you knew how he could get, you were worried about leaving him alone for too long with the assumption swimming in his head that you had actually left him. 

“Oh no, that’s okay. Next time you come up, bring him with you. We haven’t seen him in a while either.” Your mom said, cheerful and still unaware of the reason behind your presence and the reason for your rushed departure. “I love you, come back soon, okay?” You nodded in agreement, taking an extra second to give everyone a hug before running out the front door and throwing your stuff in the backseat before climbing into the front and starting the drive back home. 

You had tried to call him on your drive back home, and either he didn’t have his phone on him, or he was actively ignoring you, because he wasn’t picking up and that scared you even more. As you pulled up to the house, the sun was just beginning to set, but none of the lights in the house were on. Was he even home? 

Not even bothering to grab your bags from the back, you jumped out of the car and ran up to the front door, fumbling with your keys to unlock it only to realize that it hadn’t been locked at all. Usually he would lock the door no matter what, worried about crazed fans or even just robbers breaking in and hurting either you, him, or both. Your heart was already racing as you slowly stepped into the dark house, not even bothering to kick off your shoes as you flicked on the lights and made your way around. 

Everything felt quiet, too quiet, too still, and you worried that maybe he really had left after you failed to respond to his texts. You were about to leave, go to the dorms to see if he was there or if any of the other guys knew where he was, when you heard the toilet flush and the slight creak of the bathroom door as it opened. “Ji?” You questioned softly, feeling more like the main character in a horror movie right now than a worried girlfriend. 

All those fears subsided though when you heard him gasp, the hall light flicking on and revealing your boyfriend, his hair disheveled and his eyes bloodshot, his cheeks and the tip of his nose blushed a dark pink and his lips chapped from breathing a little too much and a little too heavily. “Y/N…” He croaked out your name, but he didn’t move from the center of the hallway and the domed light above his head was more like a spotlight on him in contrast to the darkness of the rest of the house. 

“I thought you left.” You whispered, finally taking the time to take off your shoes before walking over to him. “Why were all the lights out? It’s so dark… You could have tripped over something and hurt yourself.” You quietly scolded him, your fingers gingerly moving his hair out of his face only to realize that it had been curtaining just how sad he truly looked. 

“I thought you left…” He retorted, but he didn’t move away from your touch, he actually seemed to melt into it. “The light hurt my eyes… I was crying so much… I thought you were gone. I… I didn’t know what to do, and you weren’t answering my texts, I didn’t even know if they went through and none of the guys knew where you were. I got into an argument with Chan and Changbin… I was so scared…” He rambled, and your heart ached for him, knowing that you put him through so much. 

Your arms moved down to wrap around his waist, burying your face in his chest, breathing in the comforting scent of him that you had missed so much while you were away. “I would never leave you… You said that you needed space… That’s what I was giving you.” You explained, and his silence afterwards had you pulling back, looking up at him to see the fresh tears that were spilling down his cheeks as his eyebrows furrowed and his bottom lip trembled. 

“I don’t know why I said that…” He shakily mumbled, his hand moving up to the back of your head to pull you against his chest once more, like he was truly scared that you’d leave him again. “I was just so busy with the new album and… It’s so stressful sometimes working with them. I just wanted to get done and come home to you… And… I fucked up, I know I did.” 

“No you didn’t…” Your words were slightly muffled by his shirt, but you hoped that he heard you. “Baby… Ji, listen…” You moved your head back and then took a step back so you could look at him, but your motion had his eyes widening with panic as his hands reached out to you again. “I know that you get stressed, and I know that sometimes I can be a little… overbearing-” 

“N-No… You’re not… I love when you come visit me at work. I love when you show me that you care.” He cut you off, his chest rising and falling heavily as he verged closer to having another anxiety attack and you quickly shushed him, rushing back into his arms, and while the one on the receiving end of the hug would usually be the one comforted, you knew that allowing him to hug you was comforting enough to him. 

“You didn’t let me finish…” You murmured, making sure that your mouth wasn’t squished against his chest this time so he would really hear you. “I know that I can be overbearing sometimes… but it’s because I love you, and I care about you, and I don’t want you to overwork yourself. I know that you get tired, and when you’re tired, you get kind of grumpy. I wasn’t mad about what you said… It was kind of upsetting, but I understood that it didn't come from a place of anger… You were just exhausted, and you were stressed… And I wasn’t… I would never leave you because of that.” You tilted your head up to look at him, your own eyes glossing over with your own tears that seemed to form just from seeing his. “Did you at least eat what I brought you guys?” You asked, trying to slightly verge the topic from being so sad, and he sheepishly chuckled as his head nodded. 

“Yeah… And I felt like shit about it too. We all did… My burger was extra salty because of my tears.” He answered, and you couldn’t help but laugh as you tightened your arms around his waist, nuzzling into his chest. “I’m just glad you’re home… I missed you so much… And… And next time you come to the studio to surprise me, I’ll let you sit on my lap and I’ll hold you… I think you being there will make me feel better.” 

You hummed softly, nodding in agreement to his words. “If that’s what you’ll do next time I come to the studio, I’ll have to visit more often.” You lightly teased, moving your arms up to drape around his neck as you pulled him down just enough to press a kiss to his lips. “I missed you too.” You murmured against his lips, feeling the corners pull up slightly as his fingers fisted the loose fabric of the t-shirt you were wearing. 

“Please do… I’ll just kick the guys out if I want to be alone with you…” His voice was low now as he slowly began to back you up towards the bedroom. “Can I make it up to you… For upsetting you… For being awful and rude…?” 

You smirked as you pulled back to look at him, your eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Mm… I don’t know… I think you just want to get me in bed…” You jokingly remarked, although you weren’t really against the idea, your finger hooked into the bottom of his shirt as you lightly pulled him along with you until your knees hit the edge of the bed and you fell back onto it. 

“It might be a little bit of that too…” He mused, falling onto the bed over top of you and holding himself up just enough on his elbows. “But I want to show you that I love you… How much I appreciate you…” He dipped down, his lips latching onto your neck, and you could feel through his shirt that his body was burning up. God you loved this man, you loved everything about him, and when his lips finally got done working on the the exposed skin of your neck and he looked down at you with eyes that were both so dark, but so bright at the same time, you knew that you’d do anything for him as long as you got to be with him forever. He was everything to you, and you could tell by the way that he looked at you that you were everything to him. “Can I?” 

Permanent TL : @whatudowhennooneseesyou @duchesskaren @mytherapisttoldmenotto @lovesunshinefelix @moon0fthenight @kurolils @maruskz @hello-2-u-from-me @mrswolfiechan @bunnychangbin @his-angell @if-spearb @yomomma104 @lanatheawesome @facelesswrittes @grannyindehouse

[secretsecretbunny]

Just friends: stray kids smau.

Part two: "MewMin."

paring: lee minho x f!reader - roommate!skz

genre: fluff, angst, comedy, (future smut), smau, roommates au.

warnings for this chapter: weed use, mild sexual jokes, relentless flirting, honestly that's it, this is mostly fluff.

intro || part one || part 1.5

As you stretch your arms overhead, you swing your legs over the side of the bed and stand up, putting on an oversized t-shirt and your favorite pair of pajama shorts. It may have appeared that you weren't wearing any pants, but you didn't care and were confident that nobody else would either, as long as you were comfortable. As you leave your room, you make your way towards the basement stairs, passing by the kitchen where Chan and Seungmin are busy preparing their breakfasts. The aroma of freshly toasted bread fills the air as you walk down the hallway.

"morning!" you said, your voice still a bit raspy from sleep.

"morning, sweetheart" Chan responded, motioning you in for a hug.

You took a few more steps into the kitchen, feeling the coldness of the tile floor against your bare feet as you wrapped your arms around Chan's waist and rested your head on his chest, enjoying the warmth his body provided. "You should really be sleeping more" he mumbled into your hair.

You sighed "I know I know, but I have caffeine!" You chirped as you pulled away from the hug.

"You're gonna be shaking like a damn chihuahua if you don't chill with the caffeine" Seungmin said as he took a bite of his food. You turned around to face him.

"oh so I get shit for drinking too much caffeine but Innie doesn't? Double standard ass bitch." Seungmin just rolled his eyes. You looked him up and down for a moment, he was dressed in a nice black button up with the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, matching black slacks, and nice shoes. He was adorned with gold necklaces and rings while his hair was parted in the middle.

"You look hot, where you going?" you asked with a tilt of your head. His face scrunched up in disgust, despite his flushed cheeks, making Chan laugh.

"Ew. Anyway.. I'm heading over to Gucci and then Prada to get some dog clothes for the pups I'm walking today." he explained.

"You shop at Gucci and Prada for dogs?" you ask incredulously.

"Yes? And?" he replied in defense.

As you left the kitchen, you couldn't help but shake your head with a hint of amusement. "Nothing, just suddenly I'm a dog." You said with a laugh.

"Yeah well I'm not buying you shit!" He shouted down the hallway, his words chasing after you as you made your way towards the stairs that led to Jisung's room.

You walked down the stairs and passed through the spacious game room, which was filled with a variety of entertainment options, including a few arcade machines, an air hockey table, and a dart board mounted on the far wall. Rounding the corner you peeked into Jisung's room. "Hanji? You're clothed right?" you asked cautiously. He laughed "no, I'm stark naked and smoking a fat bowl." he said sarcastically. "Oh hell yeah" you said, dramatically bursting into the room. As you laughed uncontrollably, you collapsed onto one of his soft couches. He quickly passed you the bong with a chuckle, shaking his head at your dramatics. "well, the fat bowl part was true at least" you accepted the bong, lighting the bowl and taking a decent sized hit before you blew the smoke out slowly. God you loved a good wake n bake.

The sudden buzzing of your phone signaled an update awaited you in the group chat.

You slowly savored the coffee Jeongin had brewed for you, already feeling the effects of the RedBull but still yearning for more caffeine. Six hours or less of sleep wasn't uncommon for you, but it certainly wasn't enough to feel rested. The weed kept the caffeine jitters at bay and you were content vegging out on the sofa in Jisung's basement bedroom.

You lived in a spacious and luxurious house, so it was no surprise that the basement was just as impressive. It was modeled the same as the rest of the place, with the exception of the lack of windows. Jisung's room was adorned with purple LED lights and chill music played in the background, creating a peaceful atmosphere that was perfect for starting your day.

After sending your last message to the group chat and locking your phone, you let out a sigh as you set it down on the coffee table in front of you. Jisung sat on the smaller sofa across from you, giving you an inquisitive look with his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes fixed intently on yours. You raised an eyebrow back at him "What?" you asked. "not to be the bitch in another bitches business.." he started, slouching further into the sofa "but you do know they're just worried, right?" he asked hesitantly. You gave a gentle smile before another sigh escaped you. "Yeah, I know, but I'm good, promise." you said. Jisung nodded in response.

The door creaked open further and both of you leaned forward to see who was entering. "Hey, just me." Minho said as he stepped inside. "gimme a couple hits, my body is screaming from this morning's routine" he complained. Jisung sat up, handing him the bong. Minho took a hit, blowing the smoke up towards the ceiling. "So, wasn't trying to eavesdrop but.." he turned to you, face unreadable "you are like.. safe.. right?" he asked, referring to your work. You carefully chewed on your bottom lip for a few seconds, gathering your thoughts before responding. "I mean.. yeah. I'm safe." Minho looked at you, unsure if he really believed you or not. You smiled, placing a hand on his cheek. "Don't worry about it." You dropped your hand and Minho let out a huff.

"Anyway.. what are your guys plans for the day?" You asked. Jisung hummed in thought. "I'm probably just chilling here all day." he said with a shrug. Minho looked at you. "I was thinking about going to the Spring festival they're holding at the park. It'd probably be boring alone though.. if you wanted to come with." he said nonchalantly, as if he wasn't already planning on asking you to go. You perked up. "Will you buy me snacks?" You gazed at him with pleading eyes, resembling those of a puppy, and paired it with an endearing smile that lit up your whole face. The combination was irresistible, making him burst into laughter. "Yeah yeah, I'll buy you snacks, princess" he said, rolling his eyes. "Hell yeah! I'm in." Minho turned towards Jisung. "You wanna tag along.. orrr?" he asked him, giving him a look that you couldn't quite decipher. Ji just smirked "Nah. You two have fun." He said, giving Minho a knowing look. "Okay. We'll head out around three, yeah?" He asked you, you nodded. "Yeah, sounds good!" As Minho rose to his feet, he tenderly patted your head before making his way towards the exit. "I'm gonna go make myself some food, I'll see you later though." he said walking out of Jisung's room and back up the stairs.

Ji fixed his gaze on you, his right eyebrow arched in a subtle yet unmistakable gesture of inquiry. "What?" You asked with a confused expression on your face. "Nothing it just.. kinda sounds like a date." He said with a sly grin and an exaggerated eyebrow wiggle, emphasizing his point in a playful manner. You rolled your eyes. "We're just friends, Hanjiiiii" he laughed. "Whatever you say, bug."

You and Jisung smoked another bowl and engaged in conversation while enjoying music, laughing over absolute bullshit until you decided to get ready for the festival with Minho. "Have fun on your daaaate~" Ji mocked in a singsong voice as you stood up from the sofa, his tone was playful but slightly sarcastic. You threw a pillow at his face and laughed before quickly scurrying off to your room.

You chose a cozy and laid-back outfit, consisting of a soft grey sweater, a stylish denim skirt, and your trusty white sneakers, perfect for walking around. For your hairstyle, you opted to keep your strands flowing freely, adding an effortless touch to your overall look. When you stepped out of your room, you narrowly avoided bumping into Minho as he was stopped in front of your door. "Oh, hey. I was just about to get you." He said with a laugh. "You ready?" You nodded "yup! Let's head out!" you said, pulling him along. "You wanna get cheap coffee before?" He asked. "Duh"

Following the stop for coffee where you stayed to savor the drinks, you continued on to the festival, where you were greeted by the vibrant colors of springtime as you approached the park. The sweet scent of blooming flowers mingled with mouthwatering smells from an array of food stalls wafting through the atmosphere. After quickly exiting the car, your excited bouncing drew Minho's attention. "Where to first?" You asked Minho who had an amused smile on his face. "I promised you snacks, no?" he said with a grin. "Let's go get you something good." With graceful precision, you maneuvered around the car and latched onto Minho's arm. "I want something sweet and deep fried!!" You exclaimed. He chuckled as he guided you towards the array of food stalls, each one tempting your senses with its unique aroma. The sweet and savory smells mingled in the air, making your mouth water in anticipation. As you scanned the row of stalls, your eyes landed on a particular stand that caught your attention: Cherry blossom powdered donuts. You pointed to it excitedly. "thaaaaaat". Minho laughed at your excitement, throwing his head back. "Okay okay okay" he laughed out.

As you approached the stall, your face dropped. "Wait, Min, these are expensive. I'm not letting you buy these!" You said, pulling out your wallet. Before you could even pull out your card, Minho quickly and sneakily grabbed your wallet from your hands, shoving it in his own pocket. "Don't even think about it, princess." He said, looking at you intensely. "Miiiin" you whined "aht, shut it." Without hesitation, he extracted his wallet from his other pocket and handed over money to cover the cost of two donuts. You pouted. "I could've totally paid for mine!" With a sly grin spreading across his face, Minho reached out and affectionately tapped his fingers beneath your chin. "I know you could have. I simply didn't want you to, freak." You rolled your eyes. "Fine but I owe you." This made him grin. "Yeah? What are you gonna pay me back with?" He asked with a tilt of his head and a wink. Your face flushed a bit at his sudden flirtatious attitude, and you could feel the heat rising to the surface. You hid it by walking over to a bench that sat beneath one of the many beautiful pink trees. He laughed as he followed you to the bench, where you both sat down and enjoyed your donuts.

You basically devoured your donut in just two bites, while Minho had barely taken his first bite. He looked at you with a hint of amusement and wiped away some powder that had gathered on your bottom lip with his thumb, swiping over it slowly. The soft pad of his thumb meeting your sensitive lip had goosebumps rising on your neck. Your heart stupidly skipped a beat at the gesture. 'Jesus, y/n. This is Minho, what the hell is your problem?'. Maybe it was because of Ji's teasing about this being a date, but you had promised yourself ages ago that nothing could ever happen between you and any of the boys. You refused to be responsible for the fallout of your closely knit group. Not after the rumor almost destroyed everything. All you'd be doing is proving the rumor right.

You turned your head, clearing your throat. "Remember last time we came to the spring festival?" You asked him. With a gentle smile playing on his lips, he relaxed into the bench, letting out a soft laugh. "Yeah. I had to hold your stupid hand the entire time because you freaked out and started crying when I went out of sight for two minutes." He said, reminiscing. "It was ten minutes, Min!! I thought you ditched me.." you pouted. "I would never." He said, nudging your shoulder, the contact warm. You nodded "Yeah, I know. But I was already ditched that day by the guy I was supposed to be there with. I thought maybe I just sucked to be around." You huffed with a nervous laugh.

Minho's fingers grazed against your skin as he tenderly tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, making your heart flutter. "Nah, you're my favorite person to be around." God he needed to stop. No, you needed to stop. It's not like he was even doing anything particularly.. flirty. Was he? This was normal behavior within your friend group, so why should it feel different with Minho? You sucked in a breath. "I thought I was a freak." You teased. He laughed. "I mean, a freak could be a good thing, depending on where you're at." He said wiggling his eyebrows. Now you were laughing. You smacked his arm. "Jesus Christ, Min." You said rolling your eyes. "is that what you scream in bed too?" He said, his voice low. You looked at him, tongue in cheek. "Wouldn't you like to know?" You asked sarcastically. Minho merely shrugged. "Maybe." You just shook your head with another roll of your eyes. "You're impossible, Lee Minho."

The two of you went back and forth for a while, making jokes and conversation before deciding to walk around the festival some more. With so many things to look at, you could hardly focus on just one thing. Suddenly you came to a stop in front of a stall with a dart board game, eyeing what was possibly the cutest grumpy looking cat plush. It honestly reminded you of Minho. "Got your eye on something, princess?" Minho asked, backtracking to you. You simply nodded. "Give me my wallet. I want to win that cat!" You explained, pointing at the stuffed animal. He laughed. "That weird looking thing?" You stifled a smile. "Funny you say that, I was just thinking that it looked like you." Minho threw a hand to his chest with a dramatic gasp. "How dare you, I am MUCH cuter than that thing." You rolled your eyes, making a grabby hand, asking for your wallet.

Minho simply shook his head "Not a chance, princess. I invited you, I'm paying." he said. "Minnnn no! You know how I feel about people spending money on me!" You huffed. "And y/nnnnn you know how I enjoy spending money on people!" He mocked. You narrowed your eyes at him, thinking out your plan for a moment before you were suddenly lunging at him, reaching for his jacket pocket in a swift motion. With one arm securely around his waist, you attempted to slide your other hand into his pocket. Minho was cackling as he pulled at your wrist, his fingers deftly working it away from his pocket before using the position to pull you close to him, his eyes sparkling with amusement. Your breath hitched in your throat as you realized that your faces were now only inches apart as he beamed at you with an unrestrained grin, making you halt. "Nice try, princess, but back off." He whispered. As he spoke, you could feel the gentle whisper of his breath on your lips. It was as if time stood still for a moment before you felt yourself blushing and taking an involuntary step backwards. Minho smiled. "Good girl.. now, let's get you that cat." He approached the dart booth, handed the operator a few dollars, and received a fistful of darts in exchange.

As you watched him throw the darts, you shielded your eyes from the sun's rays. The first dart hit its mark in the center immediately. The man removed it before Minho threw the second dart, also landing it directly in the middle. You raised your eyebrows, impressed. The actions repeated in the same way until all the darts were gone, earning you your chunky, angry cat. As Minho handed you the plush creature, you couldn't help but beam at it with excitement. With a grin spreading across your face, you gently squished its cheeks. "I love him." You cooed, making Minho laugh. "You really think that thing looks like me?" He asked. You looked at him, then back to the plush, smile still on your face. "Absolutely. Grumpy, but undeniably cute." You giggled out. You missed the subtle, yet noticeable pink hue that suddenly seized his entire face while you were fixated on the cat, completely absorbed in your own thoughts. Minho reached out with his hand and ruffled your hair, causing a few strands to fall out of place before he began walking away. "whatever you say". After catching up to him, you kept pace with him and cradled the soft toy against your chest, exuding happiness.

As you walked side by side, you made your way towards an old wooden bridge that stretched across the serene lake. The sun was warm and casting a bright glow over the water as you stepped onto the creaky boards of the bridge. You stopped midway, taking in the breathtaking view around you while listening to the gentle lapping of the waves. "We should take a selfie!" You exclaimed, pulling out your phone. "Sure, princess." He said, leaning against the railing. Capturing a good picture proved to be more challenging than expected, and you found yourself attempting different poses and angles, all while letting out annoyed sighs when they didn't work as planned. This caught the attention of an older woman on the other side of the bridge. "Oh! Let me take a photo for you two!" She said sweetly. "Oh! Thank you so much, ma'am, I'd really appreciate that!" You said with a smile, handing her your phone.

You sat your cat plush nearby and stood next to Minho, your hands clasped behind your back as Minho leaned closer to you. The woman lowered the camera. "Oh come on, I'm sure a lovely couple like you can strike a more romantic pose than that!" She said with a laugh. Your eyes widened as Minho chuckled. "Oh! We're not-" But before you could even complete your thought, Minho was already turning in your direction with lightning speed, enveloping you securely within his strong arms while lifting you off the ground. You gasped, wrapping your arms around his neck for stability. "That's more like it!" she exclaimed excitedly. "Min, what the hell?" you whispered. He huffed out an airy laugh. "Relax, princess. It's just a photo. I won't drop you." You could feel the warmth of his chest against yours, and his breath on your neck, making you flustered yet again. Unwilling to let your flushed face be documented, you angled your head so that your face was out of view of the camera's lens.

The woman snapped the photo and looked at it with a smile as Minho put you back down and lightly stroked your cheek with the tips of his fingers. You were distracted for a moment, unable to break your eye contact with Min before the woman handed your phone back to you. "It came out perfect!" She said with a smile. You snapped back to reality. "Thank you so much, ma'am" you said as you took your phone back. She waved off the praise as she went back to her own business. You and Minho looked at the photo for a moment before you tucked your phone back into your pocket. You were still feeling a bit flustered as Minho threw an arm around your shoulder nonchalantly, pulling you close to him. "Where to next?" He asked you. You shrugged "uh, you wanna get something to drink?" You asked. He nodded "sure thing." He replied. "Any way you'll let me pay this time?" You asked, looking up at him with a playful glare. "No way in hell, baby." You rolled your eyes at his response. "Fine, whatever." He simply laughed at your reply "I love when you're compliant." He purred. You playfully pushed him away, you holding back a grin as he cackled.

You and Minho walked over to the nearby drink stand, scanning the menu board as you waited in line. When it was your turn, you ordered a cherry blossom lemonade for yourself while Minho chose a strawberry cream drink. The two of you sat near the water, swapping drinks every so often as you made conversation and watched the sun set, your shoulders pressed together. You were both laughing at an old college story when a yawn escaped you. You looked at the time on your phone. It was only 9pm, but you were already feeling exhausted from the lack of sleep the night before. The darkness outside seemed to be closing in on you, making your eyelids feel heavy and your body begged for rest. You rested your head on Minho's shoulder momentarily, enjoying the comfort he provided.

"You ready to head back?" He asked you, noticing your sleepy state. You nodded. "Yeah I'm exhausted." You admitted. He stood up, offering you his hand and helping you up. You grabbed your grumpy cat and you both headed to the car, Minho never releasing your hand.

The ride home was spent singing along to a few songs, smiles plastered on your faces. Minho couldn't help but steal a glance at you, his heart skipping a beat as he took in the sight of you happily belting out one of his favorite songs with your eyes closed, completely absorbed in the music. He focused his attention back on the road just as you opened your eyes, completely missing his gaze.

As you finally arrived home and stepped back inside, you were greeted by the chaotic screams of Jisung and Felix, who were fully immersed in Mario Kart. You laughed at them as you passed. "Welcome back, Bug!" Ji called out as you passed by. "Hey, I'm here too, you know." Minho shouted back. "Yeah yeah you too, loverboy." Jisung responded dismissively. You laughed as Minho rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, I'm gonna go hit the shower before I settle. Today was fun." He said, brushing your arm with his finger tips as he walked by. "Okay. Goodnight, Min." You responded softly. "Goodnight, princess."

After arriving back to your room, you put on some comfy clothes and settled onto your bed to catch up with everyone in the group chat.

As you set your phone down next to you, you can't help but think about all that happened today. Suddenly, Minho's smiling face pops into your head. The way he was so close to you all day, his thumb brushing over your lip, his flirty jokes, his arm around your shoulder, his face close to yours.. your face felt hot just thinking about it. No. Stop. You literally can't do this. You promised yourself you never would. Not with any of the boys. You couldn't. You couldn't because you didn't want to risk your friendships and you couldn't because of your job. It was just all out of the question. No matter what your feelings truly were. Besides, Minho didn't feel that way about you, regardless of how much he jokingly flirted with words and actions. His intentions were probably never serious.

As you were running your hands down your face, your phone suddenly buzzed again. Thinking it was likely the group chat, you picked it up to check, but much to your surprise, it turned out be a private message from Minho.

You smiled at the photo. It really was cute.. you wondered what things would be like if Minho wasn't part of your friend group. If he was just a guy you met, maybe in a coffee shop or a bookstore. You didn't let yourself entertain the thought for long, flicking off your lamp and curling into your blankets in a swift motion, almost as if you were trying to escape the notion that had just crossed your mind, you pulled your grumpy cat to your chest and buried your face in it.

MewMin, you decided to name him. He would have to do...

a/n:

Guys I did it. I finished part two 😭 y'all asked for fluff so I did my best to give you fluff!! Please please let me know what you think by commenting, reblogging, or sending me an ask!! Thank you so much for your patience!! I love you!! -Bunny 🐰💕

There is no taglist.

[snowyquokka]

Hi gorgeous 💞

I honestly love you work, thank you so much ❤️

If it's not too much to ask but my birthday is on 14th March so can you write a hyunjin x f reader smut +fluff with him giving reader his birthday gift for her (surprise me with your writing)?

I would really appreciate it 🥺

Bye 👋

SYMPHONIES

cw: mature content MDNI, fem reader, oral *f receiving, swearing, friends to lovers, no aftercare shown but is implied

wc: 1.3k

a.n - happy birthday beautiful!! i hope this was a good enough present <3

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

12:00 AM

Tons of DMs, calls and texts erupt on your phone simultaneously, wishing you a happy birthday. Everyone but the one you wanted most.

Is it wrong to be in love with your best friend since the sixth grade? To a normal person, maybe, but to you it’s the reality you’re forced to live.

4:00 AM

Did he forget? You can’t blame him; he is an idol after all and he’s probably exhausted. At this point the group chat you are in with all the guys is blowing up to the point where you had to silence it once you realized that Hyunjin wasn’t responding or jumping in the conversation.

CHILDREN OF CHAN

|lixie - happy birthday cutie

|hanji - HAPPY BIRTHDAY

|hanji - get ready to party bitch. it’s on

|seungmo - im not getting stuck with han’s shitfaced ass this time

|minhoe - it’s only like one in the morning and you’re already plotting?

|innie - felix get back on league

|channie - im trying to sleep

|seungmo - put your phone on silent then old man

|seungmo - nvm you probably dont know how at ur jurassic age

You let out a small laugh and bite your lip, contemplating if you should thank them or not. Ultimately deciding against it and telling yourself that you’ll do it when you wake up, you turn off your phone and roll over onto your side, soundlessly falling asleep.

10:00 AM

There’s a knock at the door, startling you out of yet another poor attempt at sleeping. You hop out of bed sluggishly and make your way to the living room. To your surprise, Hyunjin is leaning against the doorway, having let himself in with the emergency key you gave him when you first moved in.

“Just in case,” He insisted, “What if something happens and you need me? Or vice versa.” The fact that you believed that would be the only scenario he used it for seemed a bit foolish as he visited more and more.

You spot a somewhat large box, royal blue with a red ribbon on top, in Hyunjin’s hands. He smiles and pushes off the doorway. “I’m sorry to intrude like that, you weren’t answering your phone.” He says when he reaches you.

You shrug, “It’s okay. I was only sleeping.” Hyunjin nods and places the box in your hands with a sly grin, “Open,” He gestures towards the box. You move to the couch and take the lid off the box. The first thing on top is your very own Jiniret. “So you stop kidnapping my child,” Hyunjin laughs and slides onto the couch next to you. The next thing you pull out is an all black hoodie and when you turn it around you see Hyunjin’s name on the back. The small gesture shouldn’t cause butterflies to emerge in your stomach, but it does to your dismay.

You take out the rest of the stuff (a few small fake plants, Versace perfume that you scold him for buying for you, and a couple of his PCs sprinkled in between everything). You finally reach the bottom and furrow your eyebrows when you pull out a blindfold. You look at Hyunjin whose expression has morphed into something mischievous. He moves the box out of your lap and takes the blindfold out of your hands before tying it around your head, obstructing your vision.

“C’mon, stand up.” You do and Hyunjin slides his hand in yours, guiding you somewhere.

After a few moments you assume you’ve reached your bedroom, the smell of your favorite candle filling the air. The door clicks behind you and now you’re hyper aware of Hyunjin’s presence.

“Why are we in my room, Jin?” Instead of answering you, he runs his fingers delicately down your bare forearms, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake.

“I think we can both agree that we have more than just a normal friendship, don’t you think?” Hyunjin’s voice has noticeably dropped, causing shivers to wrack your body. Your heartbeat quickens so much that you wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear it. “I asked you a question, baby.”

Are you dreaming? You must be dreaming. There is absolutely no way you aren’t. He would never say anything like this. Right? Right. You’re pulled out of your thoughts when Hyunjin places his hands on your hips and presses you flush against his body.

Maybe you aren’t dreaming, judging by the very real, sizable erection digging into your stomach. “Hyunjin I-” You aren’t too sure what to say except to agree with him. He walks you back to the bed and gently lets you down, climbing over you soon after.

“Are you sure?” You know for sure that he would never lie about something like this, especially with you. You’re asking yourself more than you are him.

He toys with the hem of your shirt, “May I?” You nod and raise your arms as he lifts it over your head before immediately attaching his lips to your neck. Hyunjin nips at your shoulder and collar bone before making his way down to your breasts. “Do you want this?”

“Yes, please.” You whine. He unclasps your bra and throws it somewhere. His mouth attacks your right breast, his other hand massaging the other. Your back arches in pleasure and you can’t help but let out a groan. How can’t you when Hwang fucking Hyunjin has his pretty pink lips wrapped around your nipple.

“Fuck, baby. You make the sexiest sounds.” Hyunjin drops to his knees, pulling your shorts and panties down with him. His mouth waters at the sight of his index finger being swallowed whole by your tight heat.

“Holy shit,” You say breathlessly. You raise your hands to take the blindfold but he stops you.

“Not yet, baby. Want to make you come first,” With that he adds another finger and watches, mesmerized, as your cunt takes his digits. The lewd sounds filling the room are enough to make him bust right then and there. He manages to pull himself together though. That is, until he gets a taste of you.

Hyunjin’s tongue slides in between your folds in one flat stripe and he groans. The groan is so deep that you feel it vibrate through your entire being. He traces figure eights across your clit and you swear you're in heaven. His tongue is euphoric and the feeling of his delighted groans are better than ecstasy.

“Hyune, please. I’m almost there.” Your fingers tug at his roots so hard you might have to apologize later. Hyunjin doesn’t seem to mind very much.

“You’re so good for me, baby. Come on, finish for me. Let me hear those pretty little symphonies of moans.” You clench around his fingers as he increases the pressure on your clit, giving you a knee buckling orgasm. You crash so hard that Hyunjin has to hold up your waist to prevent you from falling.

He chuckles and licks the insides of your thighs clean before rising to his feet and pulling you into a wet kiss, your own juices invading your tastebuds. Hyunjin finally lets you take off the blindfold after helping you sit up. The man in front of you looks so proud of himself with a lopsided grin, your release glistening on his lips.

“Happy birthday, baby.” He pulls you into another kiss and cups your jaw.

“This gonna happen every year?” You smile. Hyunjin shakes his head.

“This is gonna happen whenever you’ll let me.”

[elllisaaa]

Omg oMg omG OMG soft dom reader never going through with punishments so he/she decides the boys need one tonight bc minsung was touching without permission and they’re both subs so she/he watches hanji desperately try to fuck minho and minho trying to jerk off and they cant keep a steady rhythm so they switch and minho is on top but it makes it worse bc minho has a small cock. so eventually reader gives in and fucks them hard making them cry and then fluffy after care 💓

omg minsung x reader is my weakness (and 2min, but i'll talk about it another time) and subby men ??? that's another weakness (yes, i have many). thank you so much for sending me this (my first ask, i'm all giggly, kicking my feet and all (don't hesitate to send more)). I hope you'll like it even if I changed some details as inspiration flooded. also, sorry for answering to this a little late, i was very busy with my no nut november serie, but a lot more is coming, don't worry. thank you for your ask anon ! enjoy !

DISCIPLINE - SUB!MINSUNG x READER

-> pairing : sub!minho x dom!fem!reader x sub!jisung

-> words count : 3.5k

-> genre : smut, established relation, threesome

-> warnings : dom/sub dynamic, threesome, poly!relationship, punishment, dirty talk, teasing, mutual masturbation, oral (f. receiving, m. implied), swearing, use of 'good boy', 'puppy', 'brat', and 'slut', degradation, face slapping, voyeurism, dry humping, masturbation, body worship, hair pulling, mommy kink, handjob, footjob, cum eating

+ the way i'm depicting minho and jisung does not represent them, it's only a work of fiction !

-> 18+ content bellow, minors dni

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> masterlist | skz masterlist

You never felt the need to punish Jisung, nor Minho. Your boyfriends were always very sweet, always listening without you needing to be rough or assertive, thus there was no need to be mean. Maybe that’s why they took the liberty of touching each other even when you explicitly told them not to, maybe thinking that you wouldn’t be mad and let it go like every other time. But as soon as you entered your shared bedroom, they felt the mood shift and that you wouldn’t be as kind tonight. Maybe it was because of the stress of work, or maybe you just wanted to put them in their places for once. 

“- Care to explain what both of you are doing ?”

Jisung lifted his head from Minho’s neck where he left a tone of little purple marks, his hand stopping his motion on the other boy’s cock who couldn’t help the little whine that escaped him at the loss of friction. 

“- We… We were too turned on… Sorry, sorry, but we missed you too much.”

You walked fully into the room, your heels clicking on the floor as you threw your suit jacket on the chair sitting before your dressing table, the guys fumbling until they were sat at the edge of the bed while you did so, their eyes scanning every one of your moves nervously. You couldn’t lie to yourself and say that the scene didn’t make you wet. Because it had, obviously. But you weren’t one to let it slide when they disobeyed you like that. 

You stopped in front of them, staring right into their souls, especially at Minho. You knew him. You knew that he was the one who had led Jisung into this. He surely had argued that you wouldn’t be this mad, that you would even be happy to have them ready for you when you’d come back home. But as you tugged his hair back, forcing him to look directly in your eyes, he felt so little, as if your aura was crushing him. It was threatening, but also hot. So hot. You were still wearing your working clothes : black high heels, black suit pants and an elegant white blouse, which was a little see-through, and they both could see your laced bra underneath. Yeah, maybe Minho had a thing for you looking like the attractive businesswoman you were.

“- That’s not a fucking excuse. I only asked you one thing. Do you remember ?”

Minho knew better than to answer without being allowed to and so did Jisung that was squirming in place, dying to have your hands on him too. You smiled down at him in a sickeningly sweet manner that didn’t presage anything good for him. 

“- Good boy, you at least learned one thing. Now you can talk.” 

You had grabbed his jaw in the meantime, making it difficult for him to talk but he did it anyway. He understood very well that if he wanted to cum tonight, he must follow every one of your orders very closely. 

“- You told us not to touch ourselves while you were away.

- That’s right baby, and why did I say that ?

- Because you only left for three days and that you’ll be back soon.

- Looks like you remember after all.”

You squeezed his jaw harder before releasing him, turning away from him to shift your attention on Jisung instead. Even if you suspected that Minho had gaslighted him into making out, he wasn’t innocent either, always testing your patience and being a brat. It was time to put them both in their places

“- So fucking explain me why I find you doing exactly what I told you not to do ? 

- I- We missed you so much, we just want-”

Jisung’s next words died into his throat, replaced by a moan when you slapped him, his head turning to the side with the violence of the impact. But you knew better than to stop at his hiss of pain - you knew he liked it, loved it even, knew that it made his dick twitch without even needing to check.

“- Don’t talk until I fucking tell you that you can, you don’t want to anger me even more, do you ?”

This time, Jisung didn’t dare let out a word, simply shaking his head from left to right, big doe eyes zeroing on your lips as you stroked the red mark you left on his cheek. 

“- Good.”

You stepped back a little, taking in the lustful view of your two boyfriends, seated on your shared bed, entirely naked when you were still fully clothed, their cocks rock hard when your panties were drenched, waiting for your next command. Why didn’t you try that out before ? It gave you such a rush of adrenaline to see how much power you held over them, ideas of everything you wanted to do to them clouding your mind. You could break them in so many ways, the possibilities were endless. But for now, you just wanted to see them suffer and pay the price of their actions.  

You pushed the chair you previously threw your jacket on until it was before the bed, sitting down and spreading your legs wide open. You could see Jisung drooling on your thighs, and Minho’s hands gripping the sheets to stop himself from touching his cock at the sight before his eyes. You smiled cockily at them as you unbuttoned your blouse painfully slowly, taking forever to reach the last one, exposing your chest to their hungry gazes. And as much as Jisung wished you didn’t wear a bra, he also had to admit that it fitted you perfectly, making you look like a goddess. 

“- Go on.”

Both of them stared at you, confusion written all over their faces. You rolled your eyes, annoyed that they didn’t get what you implied. 

“- Gosh, I really have to do all the work, dumb boys can’t even understand what I’m saying.”

Your degrading words went directly to Jisung cock, a moan threatening to escape him. He was almost ready to nob at your words, willing to agree to whatever you said as long as it meant pleasing you. He never saw you so bossy, but he already liked it. He wanted more and more of your mean words. 

“- Continue to touch yourselves like the stupid little sluts you are.”

Minho threw an hesitant glance at the other boy, but in a matter of seconds, they were all over each other again, lips and tongue mingling in a heated and messy kiss, hands roaming over their body and groping everywhere they could reach. They were so desperate for more it was almost cute. Almost because the way Jisung was humping Minho’s leg as he straddled his lap was everything but cute. He looked like a dog fucking his favourite toy, tongue lolling out of his mouth as his hyung kissed down his neck, groping his ass to guide his moves against his thick thigh. 

“- F-Fuck Min ! I need more…”

You bit your lips, resisting the urge to come up to them and wrap your hands around both of their pretty cocks, but seeing them whining so pathetically against each other's mouths was maybe even more satisfying. 

“- Be more specific Ji. What do you want Min to do ?”

Your voice breaking the silence made them halt their grinding for a bit, but they quickly went back to it, both of them hissing at the feeling of skin to skin contact.

“- I- I want his hand wrapped around my cock… Please…”

Minho’s eyes dived into yours over Jisung's shoulder, and he swore he had never seen such determination in your gaze before. He shivered as you cocked your head to the side, your mischievous smile having him wanting more. 

“- Do you think you deserved it though ? You think you deserved to have your dick touched after not listening to me ?”

Jisung turned his head toward you, tears almost spilling out of his eyes from how badly he needed to be touched. Your smirk widened as you unzipped your pants, slipping your hands between your thighs and brushing against your clit still covered by your panties. You let out the filthiest moan, just to tease them a little more.

“- No… I don’t think you’ve been good enough to earn it.

- Does this mean I have ?”

The pretentious smile on Minho’s face was soon whipped off as your gaze darkened. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. Maybe he shouldn't have provoked you. 

“- Does testing my patience get you going Lee Minho ? Answer.”

He gulped loudly, not even trying to hide how much your rough tone was turning him on.

“- N-No… Just want you to touch me.

- Then stop being a fucking brat for once.”

Minho only nodded his head, not daring to speak up again and risking to not feel your hands on him tonight, not when you looked so gorgeous, with your legs spread, rubbing at your wet clit while licking your lips. 

“- You’re going to listen to me, and do exactly what I tell you if you even want to see my hands coming near your cocks. Understood ?”

Both of them silently responded, not wanting to further anger you. 

“- Great. Ji, get off of him and sit down. Min, down on your knees.”

They shuffled quickly, moving into the exact position you wanted them to be, Minho staring at Jisung’s hard cock while the second was focusing on you, panting heavily and waiting for your next order. But it seemed like the older one couldn’t resist the urge to lick along the younger length, taking pride in the loud whine he let out. 

“- Close your mouth, slut.”

Minho did as you told immediately, fighting with his self-control to not touch either Jisung or himself. But he wanted to, badly. He needed it. 

“- Touch him, but no sucking or you’re not cumming.”

A small “yes'' left his mouth before he wrapped his hand around Jisung’s cock, watching him as he threw his head back and grabbed the older’s hair, another moan slipping past his lips. As Minho got to admire his boyfriend sinking down into pleasure, the latest got to contemplate the heavenly sight of your panties pushed to the side, fingers slowly working your wet cunt open. 

“- Finally listening to me. Doesn’t it feel so much better than disobeying ?”

Both of them moaned in response once again, and your smile widened at the sound, your fingers reaching deeper inside of you and making you release a noise too. Seeing them giving in to you was the quickest way to get you relaxed after this stressful work trip. 

“- Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’ve been good Min, you can touch yourself now.”

He didn’t let your words go to waste, immediately wrapping his other hand around his aching cock, whimpering at the feeling, pleasure and relief rushing through his veins.

“- S-Shit ! Feels so good… 

- Is that so ? 

- Y-Yes ! Would feel better if it was yours though…”

You let out a huff, and Minho could feel your disappointed gaze on him, but what he was even more focused on was how he couldn’t help but moan at seeing one more drop of Jisung’s precum hit the floor - such a waste they were not dripping down his throat. Jisung who didn’t care about your conversation by the way, as long as he got someone touching his cock. 

“- I’m being kind and you still find a way to complain ? Do you really want me to punish you ? 

- No, no, no, no ! I promise I can be good !

- Then come over here and show me. Prove me that you’re a good puppy.”

Minho never felt so turned on in his entire life, so he didn’t think twice before abandoning a whiny Jisung behind him as he crawled to you, sitting back on his heels between your legs, looking expectantly at you, silently asking you for permission to finally touch you. 

“- Go on.

- Thank you… thank you…”

You smiled down at him as he slowly took off your heels one after another, then slid down your pants to get a better view of your soaked white laced panties that he got rid off just as quickly. Maybe that having mens at your feet was your biggest kink after all because you’ve never been this wet before. Minho squeezed your thighs before he placed a kiss on your left ankle, slowly leaving a wet trail behind him as he got higher on your legs, sometimes sucking a little harshly on your skin. When he got to your inner thigh, he left a noticeable purple mark, his moans answering yours as you tugged on his hair. He was ready to do the same with your other leg but you yanked him roughly by his hair, inching his face closer to your pussy, his nose almost brushing against your clit. Minho was surrounded by the intoxicating scent of your arousal, his mouth watering at the memory of your taste. 

“- Haven’t I made it clear ? Eat me out.”

Minho immediately licked a strip of your wet folds, whining as your delicious essence filled up his senses. His nails were digging into your thighs, but you didn’t mind the slight pain, just as he didn't mind how roughly you were pulling his hair - in fact, you both loved it. You threw your head back when Minho sucked on your clit then pushed his tongue into you slightly, all the noises he made created a delicious vibration against your core that had you release one or two whimpers. But your focus shifted to Jisung when you heard him whine as he squirmed in place, desperate to get touched too. You smiled widely, seeing how tightly he fisted the sheets to keep his hands for himself, thrusting up in the air.

“- Have you been a good boy too Ji ?”

He lifted his head quickly, his teary eyes diving into yours as he nodded his head fervently.

“- Yes ! Yes ! I’ve been so good mommy ! Didn’t touch myself, I promise !

- Good job baby. Time for mommy to reward you hm ?”

Jisung closed his eyes, thinking that he could cum just from your deep, raspy voice praising him. He certainly would have, if you didn’t offer him something even more appealing. 

“- Oh my god, yes please ! I need you so bad, please… 

- Then come here.”

Just like his hyung before, he didn’t waste a second and almost ran to where you were seated, with Minho still eating you out as if he was a man starved, trying to ignore how painfully hard is dick was. You beckoned Jisung to come closer, until he was standing beside you and you could wrap your hand around his pretty cock. The loud moan that escaped him as you did so only made you smile again, loving to see tears spilling out of his eyes and rolling down his puffy cheeks. Having men crying from only your touch was maybe your second biggest kink. 

“- Aah ! Thank you ! Thank you mommy, f-feels so good…”

And having men calling you mommy was the third, without any doubt. However, your smirk was wiped out of your face when Minho buried one of his fingers inside your cunt, a moan leaving you instead. You knew him by heart ; he was jealous of the attention you were giving to Jisung and not him. You scratched his scalp lightly, another muffled sound coming out from him. He couldn’t put up an attitude with you, becoming putty in your hands every time they landed on him in any way.

“- Yeah ? Feels good Ji ?”

The boy only answered you with a high-pitched moan, one of his hands gripping your breast, just needing something to ground himself in reality. Because you were making him crazy, he was losing his mind over you and how good your touch felt. No coherent thoughts were crossing his brain anymore, the only one invading all his senses being you. 

“- So fucked out and you didn’t even put your dick in me…”

You knew Jisung could and would fuck you good, so good when you’ll let him. But for now, having him leaking precum from only your hand and the view of Minho devouring your cunt was enough to bring him close to the edge. It was also very tempting to put him in your mouth, but the man between your thighs was going feral, bringing you close to the edge. He added a second finger, stretching you out just like you loved, licking all the juices that were leaking out of your cunt. He needed more, more and more of your arousal. But he also needed you to touch him, whatever it was, he needed it. Minho lifted his head, his glossy eyes diving in your lust filled ones, his chin and lips covered in your essence.

“- Can you touch me, please ? I’ve been good for you…”

His hands were squeezing your thighs hard while your own, which wasn’t busy jerking Jisung off, came down to stroke his cheek. Minho sighed in relief to the feeling, leaning even more in your touch.

“- Mmh… It’s true, you’ve been such a good boy for me, eating me out and not complaining, and you’re even begging me… But aren’t you forgetting something baby ?”

His face was already flushed and hot, but at the thought of the words only, he felt his cheeks grow warmer. Jisung never felt any shame in calling you that, but it still got Minho all shy, and it was the very reason why you asked him to do it. Because you loved to see him like that : on his knees for you, totally giving in to you.

“- Please mommy… Touch me…”

The smile stretching your lips was worth it, and even more when he felt your foot caressing his thigh, reaching higher and higher until you pressed lightly against his cock. And the sinful moan Minho let out ravished your ears. Without you needing to ask this time, he dived back into your cunt, and it was your turn to moan loudly, your foot moving deliciously against Minho’s length and your hand still squeezing Jisung’s cock. The three of you were working in sync, your whimpers and whines mixing to create a filthy symphony. 

Jisung was the first to cum, letting out a broken cry of your name as he did so, the sticky substance landing on your cheek and lips. You continued to squeeze his cock, milking him dry and slightly overstimulating him as he was still very sensitive. And seeing him in such a state of desperation paired with Minho’s skilled tongue and fingers pushed you over the edge too. You unconsciously pressed your foot harder against his cock, making him whimper louder, and you felt it twitch before his release was covering your skin just a moment after. 

All of you needed several minutes to come down from your highs, the only sound being your heavy breathings. When you regained enough consciousness to open your eyes again, it was to be struck by the vision of your two boyfriend’s fucked out faces, still in their own little worlds. A mischievous smile blossomed on your face, because you were certainly not finished torturing them now that you discovered how pliant they could be. So you nudged Minho’s face that was still resting against your thigh, getting him to lift his head and look at you with the softest eyes and you almost felt guilty for what you were going to do - almost being the key word.

“- You made a mess baby, didn’t you ?”

Simply looking down at your feet covered in his cum made him hard again. Minho only answered your question with a shaky “yes”. 

“- Then you’re gonna clean it up. Lick it off.”

Without uttering a word, Minho grabbed your ankle to bring your feet to his mouth and he didn’t hesitate to eat his own cum, under Jisung’s intense gaze, who seemed completely out of it. However, all you needed to get his attention back was to point at your cheek that was also covered in cum. In the blink of an eye, he was greedily licking it off of you, and you couldn’t have felt better than with your two men all over you - and it was only the start.

As you layed in bed between Minho and Jisung, you finally felt at peace for the first time since the beginning of this stressful week. You pecked Minho’s forehead and Jisung’s nose before snuggling even closer to them, if that was even possible. 

“- I’m sorry for being so rude, I hope it wasn’t too much.”

Jisung chuckled, his fingers coming down to trace random patterns on the exposed skin of your shoulders. 

“- Don’t worry baby, we would have let you know if it was.”

Minho nobbed at the other boy's words, not lifting his head from where it was nuzzled in your neck. 

“- It was really good actually.”

The warmth radiating from his face was enough of a hint for you to know that he was blushing again, making you smile softly as you closed your eyes, ready to drift to sleep.

“- I missed you even if you’re two little brats.”

And something was telling you that now that they had a taste of your dominant side, they would test your limits even more.

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

skz taglist (fill in this to be added) :

@puppy-minnie @binwons @yoongles2025 @thicccurls

[miuwrld]

plus one | minsung x reader

warnings : sub! jisung, dom! minho, switch! reader kinda? , mxm, bi! minho, bi! jisung, reader absolutely loves seeing both of them looking insane, cum eating, oral (f & m recieving), cream pie, masturbation, porn w/o plot tbh, perv! hanji, what else???, idk just crazy smut kinda filthy imo

smut under the cut yall🙏

the team dinner was different. you and minho were secretly dating at your office. he couldn’t take his eyes off of you as he sipped his champagne. oh…he wanted to rip that damn skirt off of you and make you scream out his name…

you opened your mouth slightly to let minho’s tongue tangle against yours. he softly laid his hand against your back to support you as you fell on the bed. it was hard to pull away, it was so passionate.

“mm- baby. let me take your clothes off” minho whispered softly. his voice was soft and gentle.

you batted your eyes feeling moved by his soft voice and his cute actions. as passionate as minho is when you have sex, he’s still very attentive and caring. he carefully takes off your heels, and takes off your skirt. he couldn’t help but stare at your bare legs. you giggle, “minho? are you going to continue?” he cutely nods and kisses your legs. you smile ad you watch him attentively.

minho slowly makes his way to your pussy. you look down and have this glint in his eye that makes him continue. he slowly licks your folds and licks along your clit. you wince since you feel oddly sensitive today… he let out a soft chuckle and sucked your clit which had you breathing and letting out soft moans.

no one in that room knew of the other person peeking from the door : hand in cock, jerking off softly. his best friend, han jisung, was a friend of both of you two. he bit his lip as he tried to conceal his soft groans. he felt so perverted.

“minho…can you fuck me now? i want to feel you” you asked

he smirked, “but i wanna eat you out more..”

you knew this game he liked to play, he wanted to hear you beg.

“please. minho, i need your dick in me. i wanna feel it so bad. please fuck me i can’t- i just need it! ok? please?”

he had to hold back from laughing, he kept that stupid smirk on his face and he took off his shirt and pants and swiftly pulled his boxers down. his eyes looked down right like he was starving…ok maybe tonight was going to be more hot than you thought.

“good baby” he said as you laid on your elbows and looked up at him.

he slid in slowly, trying to slowly work his way inside to not hurt you.

this was getting hard for jisung to not cum….this was so…hot

his pace was slowly starting to become quicker as he rolled his hips into you. shit..if that wasn’t enough his hand slowly flicking your clit added onto the stimulation. you leaned your head back as you let out loud moans.

he scoffed, “you’re such a slut…you like this so much huh?”

you laughed as you looked at him seductively once again, “of course i do.”

he didn’t wanna cum just yet…he wanted to keep going..but it was getting hard for minho. he kept his pace as he leaned down to put his body on top of yours. he held you softly, his body warm. your moans started do come out more often and in a faster pace. he knew you were close.

“you wanna cum, huh?”

you nodded, “yes please”

“fuck..” jisung said out loud

minho quickly looked over his shoulder as he saw jisung closing his eyes and fucking into his hand.

“jisung, you’re such a pervert” minho said with a smirk on his face

you were suprised by the stop of minho’s thrusts, but, you knew of jisungs presence.

jisung’s eyes immediately opened and widened in shock and embarrassment.

“i-im sorry.. i was-

“come here ji” you said softly

he looked at minho who tilted his head towards you.

“okay” he whispered as he walked towards the two of you.

“jisung-ah…you wanna watch so bad? here’s a show” minho said with a grin.

he immediately started his pace once again which made you let out a suprised scream. shit? was he actually going to fuck you in front of his best friend? i mean jisung’s hot but damn…

“wait shit…i’m gonna cum” you screamed

“do it all over my dick baby. i know jisung wants to see this” minho said as he flicked your clit.

jisung had to stop himself from drooling.

you squirted instantly and let out soft moans as minho continued his pace inside your pussy. god??

he kept his grin as he licked his finger that had some of your juices on it. he pulled out swiftly and looked down at his cock.

“jisung-ah, suck my dick” minho said softly

WHAT? jisung had to pause. minho’s gay? wait- what. HUH

jisung walked slowly over to minho and looked up at him. his eyes big and eager. minho really wanted to just-

jisung instantly attached his mouth to minho’s cock. you watched in amusement as jisung moved his head. minho whispered curse words and grabbed jisung’s head and moved to his liking. you could hear jisung’s closed off moans. god, he looked so cute stuffed with minho’s dick in his mouth.

“shit…” minho said as he let go of jisung’s head and he let go of his dick. jisung panted as he was trying to breathe once again.

“you make perfect lube , jisung-ah” minho shamelessly stated

jisung was red.

minho pushed his cock back inside your pussy which made you whine.

“suck his dick” minho commanded

you didn’t have to be told twice.

his hard dick with the little pink tip. it looked delicious. minho fucking you doggystyle while you have a cute boys dick in your mouth? this is a perfect evening.

you swirled your tongue as jisung began to groan. he slowly patted your head as you kept going. your moans vibrated onto his dick which made him almost cum in your mouth. minho started to groan and his thrusts became sloppier.

“shit i’m gonna cum!” he uttered

jisung looked at his face, his hair messy and his hands red. shit…minho looked so hot. and then your body against his dick…and your mouth taking his dick. this was too much for him, he came in your mouth with a loud grunt.

cum flooded on both ends…you felt the twisted yet sexy feeling of it going down your throat and inside your pussy. jisung’s cum was instantly swallowed and you let go of his dick with a pop.

he looked so fucked out…this was a new sight you wanted to see more.

“jisung-ah, eat her out” minho said as he reached to grab his hand. you turned on your back and josung pushed your legs open.

he licked a long stripe against your pussy which made you let out a groan. you felt sensitive i mean…this was a new experience.

minho’s cum came flooding out as jisung kept licking against your pussy. minho had to control himself so he didn’t get another boner. jisung looked up to you and minho as you both watched.

“good boy…cleaning us up” you said softly as you raised his head up and kissed him. you tasted you and minho’s cum together. his tongue softly exploring your mouth. minho kissed your neck softly which caught you off guard. jisung let go and minho instantly grabbed his face to make out with him. it was like he knew everything about jisung already, and his tongue was licking up into his mouth like a dog. jisung pulled away with pink lips.

“you did well, jisung-ah” minho said

-

the end this is the most wildest shit i’ve ever read and written so maybe this might be deleted because i was just writing this while not thinking so…..

[lolahauri]

✎ Introduction ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Requests are always open, and you can send as many as you want, as detailed as you want! I just get to them whenever i can/feel like it.

Anon's: 🌹-🕯️-🍁-❤️-

Other Accounts: @lolas-favfics @lolamultifandom @lolahaurisfw

AO3: Here

-> MASTERLIST <-

-> EVENT MASTERLIST <-

DNI: MAP, ZOO, Pro-Para, Pro-Ana, TERF, Zionist, Bigots, Minors!!!, Discourse Blogs. ❤️🖤🤍💚

Things I Won't Write:

Sex Crimes of ANY KIND, Super Violent/Xtreme Kinks, Inflation, Feederism, Abuse, Puke, Shit, DDLG, Age Play, Raceplay, Wound Fucking, Gore, Vore, Misgendering, Lesbian x Male, Gay Man x Female, Stepcest etc... no exceptions!

Fluff, Angst, Platonic. (Go to my other fanfic blog for that.)

Things I Will Write:

Genderbent Characters, Mild Yandere, Daddy/Mommy Kink, Cheating, Mild BDSM, CNC, Dubcon, Monsters, Hybrids, Sex Pollen, Legal Age Gap, Power Imbalance (Prof/Student, Boss/Employee), Feet, Armpits, Piss, Breeding, Mild Bloodplay & Knifeplay, Cock Warming, Dry Humping, Voyeur, Public Sex, Orgy, 3somes, Sex Toys, Overstim, Edging, etc... etc... :P

Trans Reader, Chubby/Tall/Short/Curvy/Fat/Buff Reader, Other Specific Characteristics.✔️

*if you aren't sure, just ask!* :)

HC's, One Shots, Multi-Chapter, Drabbles, F/O Imagines.

Canon-friendly, AU's, Canon Divergence, Out of Character.

Ch x Ch / Ch x Reader / Ch x OC / OC x Reader / Poly Ships of any kind.

F/F, M/M, F/M, GN/F, GN/M, Poly Ships of any kind.

Now that that's out of the way, here's the list of fandoms and characters i'm familiar with and will happily take requests on! (you can request other characters from these fandoms, but it might take me longer!)

Adventure Time/Fiona & Cake: PB, Marceline, Marshall Lee, Winter King, Candy Queen, Simon, Ice King, Fiona.

Attack On Titan: Armin, Eren, Mikasa, Sasha, Levi, Hanji, Annie, Historia, Reiner, Erwin, Ymir. 

Avatar: Jake, Neytiri.

Batman Begins Triology: Batman, Catwoman, Bane, Joker, Scarecrow.

Bee & Puppycat: Bee, Deckard, Cass, Toast.

BigBang Theory: Raj, Leonard, Penny, Amy.

Black Dynamite: Honeybee, Black Dynamite.

BNA: Michiru, Shirou.

Bob’s Burgers: Bob, Linda.

Breaking Bad: Jesse, Skylar.

Call of Duty: Konig, Ghost, Mace, Keegan, Krueger, Valeria, Farah.

Creepypasta: Jeff, Jane, Ben, Toby, EJ, LJ, Slenderman, Splendorman, Clockwork, Kate, Masky, Hoodie,

Desperate Housewives: Bree, Gabi, Edie, Lynette, Carlos, John.

Dirty Dancing: Johnny, Baby.

Earth Girls Are Easy: Mac, Zeebo, Wiploc, Valerie.

Elemental: Wade, Ember.

Encanto: Isabela, Bruno, Dolores, Julieta.

FNAF Movie: Vanessa, Mike, William/Steve.

Frozen: Elsa, Anna, Kristoff.

Futurama: Leela, Fry, Amy, Bender.

Gravity Falls: Ford, Stan, Soos, Melody, Giffany, Bill.

Jane The Virgin: Jane, Michael, Petra, Luisa, Rose, Rogelio, Xiomara.

Jurassic Park (1993): Ian Malcolm, Ellie Sattler.

Jujutsu Kaisen: Gojo, Choso, Nanami, Sukuna.

King of the Hill: Hank, Peggy, Luane, Nancy, Dale, Khan, Min, John Redcorn.

Lisa Frankenstein: Lisa, Creature, Taffy.

Little Mermaid (2022): Ariel, Eric.

MHA: Dabi, Hawks, Aizawa.

Moon Knight: Moon System, Layla, Khonshu.

National Treasure: Benjamin, Riley.

Nintendo: Link, Zelda, Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, Luigi, Bowser, Waluigi.

Norbit: Rasputia, Norbit.

Princess & The Frog: Tiana, Lottie, Naveen, Shadow Man.

Ratatouille: Colette, Linguini. 

Regular Show: Mordecai, Margret, Eileen, CJ, Benson.

Resident Evil: Karl Heisenberg, Carlos Oiliveria, Lady Dimitrescu.

Rick and Morty: Rick, Jerry, Beth, Doofus Rick.

Riverdale: FP Jones, Hiram.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: Kim, Ramona, Gideon, Wallace.

Serial Mom: Chip, Beverly.

Silverado: Slick, Rae, Mal, Paden.

Shallow Hal: Rosemary, Hal.

Shameless: Lip, Fiona, Kev, V.

SheRa (2018): All Adults.

Sherlock (2010): Sherlock, John Watson.

Slashers & DBD: Brahms, Ghostface, Michael Myers, Jason Vorhees, Pyramid Head, The Spirit, Huntress, Trapper, Wraith, Trickster, Pearl, Jennifer Check, Stu Matcher, Billy Loomis, Tiffany Valentine, Patrick Bateman, Thomas Hewitt, Vincent Sinclair, Eric Draven, The Artist, Amanda Young.

Spiderverse: Miguel, Jessica Drew.

Spongebob: Dennis, Man Ray.

Squid Games: Gi-Hun, Sae-Byeok, Ali, Sang Woo.

Steven Universe: Garnet, Amethyst, Peridot, Lapis, Jasper, Blue Diamond, Rose, Greg.

Stranger Things: Robin, Billy Eddie, Chrissy, Hopper.

Supernatural: Sam, Dean, Castiel.

Super Store: Amy, Jonah, Dina, Garrett, Cheyenne.

Tangled: Flynn, Rapunzel, Mother Gothell.

The Batman (2022): Batman, Riddler.

The Breakfast Club: John Bender, Allison Reynolds.

The Nanny: C.C, Fran, Maxwell.

Total Drama Island: S1 Contestants, Chris, Chef, Blainley.

Triple Frontier: Frankie, Santiago.

Turning Red: Ming Lee, Jin Lee.

Twilight: Edward, Carlisle, Alice, Charlie.

WWE: Rhea Ripley, Roman Reigns.

YOU: Beck, Joe, Peach, Love.

Young Sheldon: Mary, Connie.

Abel Morales (A Most Violent Year)

Astarion (Baulder’s Gate 3)

Babbo Natale (Violent Night)

Barbie (Barbie 2023)

Basil Stitt (Lightning Face)

Beverly Goldberg (The Goldbergs)

Bruce (Beyond Therapy)

Charles Ingalls (Little House on the Praire)

Charlie Dompler (Smiling Friends)

Chel (Road to El Dorado)

Dale Kobble (Longlegs)

Dan Conner (Rosanne)

David Levinson (Independence Day)

Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)

Doug Remer (Baseketball)

Duke Leto Atreides (Dune)

Fezzik (Princess Bride)

Francine (American Dad)

Fujimoto (Ponyo)

Georgia Miller (Ginny & Georgia)

Jack Harrison (Translyvania 6-5000)

Jackson Rippner (Red Eye)

Jon Arbuckle (Garfield 2024)

John Doe (John Doe Game)

Jonathan Levy (Scenes from a Marriage)

John Wick (John Wick 4)

King Baldwin (Kingdom of Heaven)

Kitten (Breakfast on Pluto)

Laurent LeClaire (In Secret)

Linda Gunderson (Rio)

Llewyn Davis (Inside Lleywn Davis)

Master Chief (Halo)

Mike (5lbs of Pressure)

Moe Doodle (Doodle Bops)

Nani Palekai (Lilo & Stitch)

Nathan Bateman (Ex Machina)

Outcome-3 (The Bourne Legacy)

Orestes (Agora)

Paul Blart (Paul Blart: Mall Cop)

Paul Cable (Last Stand at Saber River)

Peggy Bundy (Married With Children)

Peter Mitchell (3 Men & A Baby)

Poe Dameron (Star Wars)

Prince John (Robin Hood 2010)

Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd (Top Gun: Maverick)

Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)

Shiv (Pu-239)

Stanley Ipkiss (The Mask)

Star-Lord (Gaurdians of the Galaxy)

Tate Langdon (AHS: Murder House)

The Janitor (Willy’s Wonderland)

Thomas Magnum (Magnum, P.I 1980)

William Tell (The Card Counter)

[chatterbox-73]

Simptember 2024.

Day 3 - Stuck with me.

Hanji Zoe x Reader

This story is a smut story for simptember, I’ll be writing more characters x reader one shots for simptember and if you want to see a character please let me know...

You must be 18 years or older to read this...

🔞⚠️NO MINORS ALLOWED⚠️🔞

A/N: hanji is non-binary in this one-shot, if you have any issues with this take it elsewhere.

Summary: you and Hanji find comfort in each other after a devastating loss.

Word count: 1.8k

CW: NSFW and adult content, mention of loss and death, angst, fingering, dry-humping/grinding, bottom/switch Hanji, oral (f!giving) and swearing.

You sat on your spouse bed as they sat beside you hands clasped together, head downturned, the smell of the ocean filled the room and acted as a constant reminder that you and everyone else on this boat were travelling to your doom. “Hanji it’ll be okay, we’ll be able to make them see” you hummed and you laid a hand over their’s, they sighed and leaned into you, resting their head in the crook of your neck before taking a deep breath and flopping down onto their back. “You’re amazing, almost too good for me… ya know that” hanji hummed and you fell back next to them, you pinched their nose and frowned, “that’s not true and you know it” you whispered and kissed their cheek before letting go of their nose.

Hanji had always doubted your relationship with them, though you both loved each other it wasn’t always like that, as you were originally in an incredibly serious relationship with a close friend of hanji’s, Moblit Berner. The relationship was so serious you’d both spoke of marriage and children, although despite your relationship with Moblit, hanji was also in love with your boyfriend and you were sure if you hadn’t drunkenly confess your feelings for the man, he’d be with them rather then yourself. Despite your dislike for hanji and their dislike for you, you both kept it civil for Moblit’s sake, however when he died you were both so lost, your world had fallen to pieces and you could tell so had Hanji’s. You and Hanji began to spend more time together, you felt at peace being around someone who was so close to Moblit, Hanji had always resented you for ‘stealing’ Moblit from them, that was until he was gone and they had begun to see how much you loved him by how much you hurt, they also saw how giving you were and realised you were exactly what Moblit had needed. Moblit was a giver, he’d always given all his time and energy to Hanji, but with you, he didn’t need to give much, because you were always so willing to give him everything, you were just like him and just what he needed, however he was no longer here, leaving you with so much to give and no one to give it too.

Hanji was surprised to see you at their door only a week after Moblit’s funeral, you held a covered pot in your hands and a weak smile on your face, “I made a little too much Borscht and thought you might like some” you spoke just above a whisper, hanji nodded and gestured for you to come in. Hanji grabbed out two bowls and spoons before sitting at the dining room table, you scooped some into the bowls and sat across from Hanji before beginning to silently eat, Hanji noticed the food was still hot, like you had cooked it and then came straight over, “thank you but why didn’t you share this meal with your neighbours” they asked as they took a large spoonful and ate it, you looked down at your bowl sadly “he’d always talk about how you’d forget to eat and he’d have to practically force feed you… it got to the point he’d ask me to make an extra portion just for you…” you looked up at them and felt tears sitting in the corner of your eyes, “…and… and now… I’m supposed to only cooking for one… but I-” you cut yourself off with a sob following this you took a deep breath in and looked back down at your bowl. “Keep cooking for me, I’m always hungry and I’m hopeless at cooking…” Hanji chuckled before continuing to eat and so it became a regular thing. It became quite normal to see you and Hanji walking around the markets picking out ingredients for meals, you’d both grown close and you could definitely see why Moblit liked to spend time with them and if you were being honest you’d started to fall for them, Moblit’s death still hurt but it had been a year and Hanji had made everyday easier. You sat on Hanji’s couch with a glass of wine in your hand, “you know this tastes really good for the ‘cheap’ stuff” you chuckled and slipped on the half empty glass, “what can I say, I’m a person of fine taste” they smirked and took a large gulp from their glass while sticking up their pinkie, you laughed and shook your head before placing down your glass, “stay there, I brought the perfect meal to go with this” you stood up and walked over to the small picnic basket you brought with you, before taking out a kind of covered board and walking back to them, “ohhh what’s this…?” They hummed as you placed the board down and uncovered it, “tada! It a charcuterie board” you smiled and sat back down, Hanji was quick to start eating the food on the board before continuing on with your conversation. You both chatted about all kind of things, however a small silence fell over both of you, “you know I miss him…” Hanji stated almost out of nowhere and you blinked at them before nodding, “me too… I- I wish he had the chance to see the ocean” you smiled and swirled the drink around in the glass, Hanji hummed in agreement and placed a hand on your knee, “I’m gonna be here for you no matter what… you got that?” They smiled and squeezed your knee, you chuckled and nodded before leaning into them for a hug. You placed down your glass and wrapped your arms around them, Hanji copied your action and moved in closer to you, “I- I… umm” Hanji stumbled as they pulled away and looked down at their lap, “what’s wrong?” You asked and they looked up at you with a red face, “I think I really like you… but I don’t want to take advantage of your grief” they sighed as the turned and rested their head in their hands, you smiled and rubbed their back “Hanji, I like you too and yes, I’m still grieving but I want to start slowly moving on” you smiled as they looked up at you in shock, you leant in and kissed they cheek, Hanji hugged you and gave you a soft kiss to your lips.

Dinners became dates and hugs became kisses, long passionate kisses. You and Hanji stood in the kitchen holding each other as your lips locked in a fiery dance, Hanji’s hands began to wonder and found refuge under your shirt, you gasped at the coldness of their hands and chuckled as they pinched your skin, soon enough you and Hanji found your way to the bedroom, you laid on the bed and Hanji leaned over you, “this isn’t too fast? I don’t want to rush you” they smiled and you shook your head, “no, we’re not going too fast…” you grabbed their collar and pulled them in, “are you sure-“ Hanji panicked but before they could finish, you kissed along their neck up to their ear, “let’s do it” you giggled, to then moved to open your legs and hike up your skirt in the process, Hanji then shifted and pressed their hips in between your spread legs, “have you ever done it with someone like me?” They asked as they removed your shirt.

You hadn’t but what did it matter, Hanji was your partner, your lover… and lovers make love, that’s what you wanted, that’s what you needed.

“I’ve had sex before, and I don’t need a cock to enjoy myself” you chuckled and turned your body so that you were now straddling them, you made a move to unzip your skirt before lifting it up your waist and up over your head, “pretty graceful, huh” you smirked and tossed the fabric to the side.

There you sat over Hanji, naked, completely naked, you then moved their hands and placed them on your hips before you slowly started rolling your hips as if you were riding a cock, they hummed and rubbed circles on your bare skin, “you seem like a professional” they groaned watching as your puffy clit rubbed against their coarse fabric, “oh yeah… but you make me like this” you whined breathlessly, Hanji laughed and pressed your further onto them, you moaned loudly “Hanji, more… more pressure” you whimpered, suddenly they grabbed your legs and flipped the both of you so they were over you and grinding their hips into you.

You grabbed at their waistband of their pants, “I need to feel your skin against me” you moaned and tug at the fabric, they slowly pull back and remove their pants and shirt, take in their appearance and you feel your face going red, they were just so attractive, almost too attractive. You gently reaching out for the bandages around their chest, “are you comfortable taking this off?” You asked and they look away, before shaking their head “I’m sorry I can’t yet” Hanji glances at you only for a moment and you smile, “don’t be sorry, I’m not upset, this is all about comfort and trust” you grab their cheeks and look them in the eye, “I want you to be comfortable” you kiss them and move a hand down their stomach to their cunt.

Your fingers brushed over Hanji’s clit and they moaned, pressing their hips into you, you began slowly moving two fingers inside them, “oh fuck” Hanji cried and ground their hips in time with your fingers, you placed soft kisses on their neck and whispering praises against their skin, “I’m close… please” Hanji moaned and their hips shuttered, as they hunched over and rested their face in the crook of your neck, “you’re so sexy when you cum” you hum and pull back, you push them down and climbed back onto them, straddling their thigh you smiled and kissed their cheek, Hanji took a sharp breath in as they felt your knee pressed into their core while you began grinding yourself onto their thigh, “trying to make me cum again?” Hanji huffed out and you grinned, “I always want you to feel good” you moaned and began to focused on your movements.

Hanji watched your body wind and grind on them, working yourself as well as them to an orgasm, you really were a giver in everything you did, they wondered for a moment if this is what it was like for Moblit when he was with you.

“Well your stuck with me” they moaned, eye glued on your body as your hips twisted and you throw your head back, coming down from your high you moved to lay between Hanji’s open legs, kissing over their trembling core, “good” you breathlessly chuckled and began working your tongue into them.

Simptember Masterlist

Day 2 - Dabi/Toya Todoroki: Psycho B*tch

Day 4 - Tamaki Amajiki: Comparison

[lannaloveit]

Action and Reaction 🔥❤️

Part 2 ⬇️

The night ends with Hyunjin returning home thoughtful, Han taking an interest in Ágata and Y/N sleeping in the guest room of Cris's house, since she offered to help clean up the mess.

The girl wakes up to a message from Han: "Look, I don't know what happened last night, but I wanted to know if you're okay." She then replies with: "Good morning Hanji, I was fine, I just found it strange to see you "moving on", spending all this time with you made me think about our past." "I understand perfectly Y/Nnie, but I need to move on, I'm tired of running after you, it was making me feel bad, I'm happy for you and Hyunjin, he seems perfect for you," Han adds.

As the days went by, she really realized that every action has a reaction, that if she does something, something will react. Y/N liked Han but was in love with Hyunjin.

Or maybe not?

She felt confused.

Maybe she did see something in Hanji, he was so similar to her, so fun, funny and it seemed like they shared the same neurons.

She used to say that he was "my alarm clock" the one that makes her wake up every day, her "reason".

Hyunjin arrived so suddenly, it was good, energizing, but as the days went by that gave way.

"You seem sad" Cris said

"I'm not, just a little confused with myself, I feel like I lost Henri and I didn't want that." "Tell me what you want from him, do you want him? Or do you want to risk Hyunjin? I've known you since you were a child, Y/Nnie, and I know that in order for you to really like and want to be with someone, you have to know them for a long time. Do you know why you were sad about his kiss with Agata? Because you trust him, because you wanted him. Think again, maybe Hyunjin only showed up to show you who you really want, because the idea of being away from him scares you. - Cris She hugs Cris and cries "Hyunjin will think I'm an idiot." "No, you just have to talk to him, and if he does, that's his problem, you have to fix things with your best friend now." "Cris, you know that you're actually my best friend, right?" Cris kisses her head and smiles.

Hanji found himself thinking about the damned “truth or dare” kiss. He *wanted* to kiss the prettiest girl in his opinion. Y/N was the prettiest girl, but he simply kissed Ágata because she was the most desired among the boys and he was afraid of what Hyunjin would do. After all, this was before he knew that Ágata was dating a college student who picked her up every day on his motorcycle after school. He felt ridiculous for thinking that she would give him a chance. But what can we expect from a girl who shows up with a different boy every week?

°

Y/N spends recess with Han and he tells her about Ágata. Honestly, Y/N knew the girl’s nature and knew that she would be bad for anyone who got involved with her. Cris comes up to them and says:

“Y/N, baby, we need to talk.” He looks serious.

“What happened?”

“*Hyunjin,* it was all a bet.

“What?” Han answers.

“I was in the bathroom and I heard him talking to Seungmin at the door about whether Hyunjin would really be able to “get Y/N” and saying that it would be easy because you “fell for his trap.” To top it off, Seungmin said that he should try too because you seem to be acting like a saint, but behind his back you were hooking up with Hanji and trying to deceive Hyunjin, so one more wouldn’t make a difference.”

“They saw that I heard because when I left I threw some truths in both of their faces. Seungmin tried to punch me, but I was faster and punched him in the face, pushed them both away and left.”

“My God…I always had a bad feeling about Hyunjin…it’s a shame I was right.”

“I’m going to kill those idiots.” - Han

“Guys, you better calm down, it’s not worth wasting your time with them, I’ve already taken care of this.”

“I need to talk to Hyunjin” -Alanna

“Be careful, pretty” -Hanji

Y/N finds Hyunjin standing at the door of their classroom

“Hi, honey” -hyunjin

“Don’t call me that, idiot”

“Calm down, why are you like this? Are you nervous because of your friend Cris? Didn’t he fuck you today?”

“Fuck you!” Y/N ends up slapping Hyunjin hard in the face, who freezes there after realizing that everyone saw it. Including the girls he picks up. How could they trust him after that? They even *filmed* it.

Cris and Han get the girl out of there before the confusion gets worse and the three of them go to the cafeteria since the class was free.

“Y/N, I don’t want to see you get into this kind of trouble anymore, I know he deserved it but you could have gotten hurt, if you need anything call me and I’ll fix it” -Cris

“Honestly, you were amazing, princess” -Hanji

Cris gives Hanji a disappointed look

“What’s wrong? I’m trying to lighten the mood” -Han

“I’m sorry but I couldn’t let him talk to me like that, I know I don’t have many female friends but that doesn’t mean I’m a bitch who sits with every boy I see, especially because the only sluts here are Ágata and Hyunjin.”

“I agree, beautiful, but it’s true, when you need it, call one of us” -Han

°

Y/N goes home with Hannie and they decide to watch a movie, but the girl feels so overwhelmed.

They go to the kitchen to make a snack and she starts to cry

"Kitty, are you crying?"

He hugs her and she rests her head on his shoulder while he strokes her back

"And is this crying from happiness or sadness?"

"It’s just that…everything has been so “heavy” lately, there’s a lot going on and I didn’t expect this to happen so I felt horrible with each passing moment. I can’t explain it, I thought he could be a light but in fact he became the darkness that I run away from so much now, I’m sure he’ll try to destroy my image. I bet on a loser dog and realized that I was the loser" - Y/N

"Think about what makes you want to stay, not what makes you want to leave, everyone in that school knows what he did, everyone knows he lost and anyone who disagrees is a loser like him." -Han

"I discovered a new galaxy when I met you, I love you so much." -Y/N

"- I always loved you my love, I always knew it was you, I was always crazy about you" -Han

"- crazy?"

"- yes, crazy, completely crazy" -Han

He grabs her waist and lifts her chin delicately with his finger and kisses her slowly, passionately

She thought: “Hanji, how hypnotizing you were.”

-" Thank you for not give up on me." -Han

[x0xqzra]

✐BOTH❦ - Levi Ackerman x Fem Reader x Hanji Zoe

TW: sexual topic, yelling, crying, pregnancy, blood, angst, my own version of timeskip Levi and Hanji (that means this may not be connected to the manga/anime plot-- but may contain some spoilers)

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

(Y/N)~your name

(L/N)~last name

(F/C)~favorite color

(A/N)~author's note

P.O.V~point of view

❦

Y/N's P.O.V

My name is (Y/N)(L/N), I am the girlfriend of Levi Ackerman .

We have been in a relationship for 3 years now.

I'm currently pregnant with Levi's child, 2 months to be exact.

I've been keeping my pregnancy a secret.

I didn't tell anybody about my pregnancy yet, even to my best friend Hanji.

I want Levi and I would be the first person to know about this exciting news, I am so excited and nervous to tell this to Levi because of his behavior recently, he would always come home late and drunk, and he is been more cold towards me.

I know, titans had been extinct so it's rightful for him to take some rest and loosen up, but I think his behavior is too much.

It's 12:35 at midnight and I still haven't slept because I want to eat dinner together with Levi. The food is getting cold but I still waited and did not eat. I will only eat once Levi come home.

Yeah, I know this is bad for me and the baby but I really don't want to eat if Levi was not here to eat with me.

I heard the sound of keys and the door knob being opened. When the door is finally open, there I see my boyfriend Levi, drunk again.

"hey levi are you okay?, did you eat already?" I ask him worriedly even though he act like this I still love him. I know I should be tough sometimes, but I just can't find it in my heart to be tough on him.

We used to be a happy couple. I don't know if it's just me, but once the titans have gone extinct, everything seems to fall apart.

"shut up!" Levi screamed to me "you're so f*cking annoying, no wonder I only use you for pleasure"Levi said to me, I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. I try to not cry and think that he only said that because he is drunk, he can't really mean it right?

"I-I'm sorry, let's just sleep"I said stuttering. I just wanna hug him while listening to his heartbeat... Like we used to do... that would surely make me feel better.

I then feel him slap my cheek so hard that make me sit on the floor while holding my cheek,the tears that I been holding finally escaped my eyes.

Wait no... This isn't the levi I know, he's just under the influence right? Am I too blind? Do I really deserve this?

I look up to see levi going to our shared bedroom to sleep, I just sob there thinking what did I do wrong. Why did we end up like this, Am I a bad girlfriend, is there something I didn't give him?

I then hear a phone notification sound indicating that there is a new message.

Since the titans have gone extinct, people are focusing on creating things that will make life easier, one of those are smart phones.

I slowly enter our shared bedroom to see Levi sleeping, I grab Levi's phone in the table beside our bed, I open the phone to see this;

Petra:

hi babe, where are you? are you busy?,come to my apartment let's watch some movies

Levi:

Yeah sure babe but I don't think where only watching movies I'm on my way, don't wear any underwear, that's an order.

Petra:

*picture of petra naked*

Levi:

Good girl wait me there

*new message*

Petra:

Hey babe did you arrive safely?and babe don't forget your promise that you're gonna break up with that slut

*seen*

I can't believe what I'm seeing.

I can't believe Levi was cheating on me... Am I really that blind... For love?

I don't even know who this Petra girl was.

Levi, the father of my child... The man that promised me he'll love me till death...

I quickly put all of my clothes and stuff on a duffle bag, yeah I love Levi but I love my child more... I'm done packing every single thing. I put my things in my (F/C) car and got back to our house to write a letter for Levi ;

Levi

As I gather the pieces of my shattered heart, I come to terms with a painful truth - your love for me has faded into the abyss of uncertainty. I question if you ever loved me at all, the echoes of doubt gnawing at my soul. In this moment, I find the strength to sever the ties that bind us, to walk away from what was once our shared world.

I want you to know that I will no longer intrude upon your life. No more texts or calls to disrupt your days, no more attempts to bridge the chasm that has grown between us. I promise to step back, to let go of the dreams we once held dear.

Yet, as I bear this burden alone, there is something I must share with you. Levi, I am carrying your child, and I cannot contain the mix of emotions that consume me. Amidst the heartache, there is a glimmer of excitement - the prospect of being parents together. But I fear that my hope is misplaced, that you will not share the same joy upon hearing this news.

I find myself torn between love and heartbreak, holding onto a love that may never return. As I bid my final farewell, know that my love for you was real, genuine, and raw. I cherished every moment we shared, and I will cherish the memory of what could have been.

Farewell, Levi. I loved you, and perhaps I always will.

~(Y/N)

I entered my car with a red nose and eyes. Sniffing on the way, I drove to Hanji's house sobbing and hoping she is still awake at this time.

I arrived at Hanji's house at 1:58 at midnight. I knock at hanji's front door several times trying to wake her up.

The front door opened revealing a bedhead hanji, I came in and hugged her tightly while sobbing.

"(Y/N)? ohh my gosh are you ok? Why is my baby crying?" hanji said rubbing my back as we hugged.

"L-Levi was cheating on m-me" I say stuttering while sobbing and hiccuping.

"shhhh shhh calm down (Y/N) this stress is not good for the baby" hanji said, I back away a little bit shocked that she know that I'm pregnant. I paused for a few seconds.

"How..." was all that is able to come up to my mouth.

She hugged me again while massaging my back.

" Oh come on (Y/N) I'm a scientist-doctor. Do you really think I wouldn't notice your weird behavior recently? Mood swings, cravings, vomiting, and many more weird things you've done recently? " she said smiling at me.

"y-yeah I kind of forgot about that " I said still sniffing slightly.

" Come on (Y/N) let's sit on the couch and talk about this" hanji said dragging me to the couch.

We sat on her couch. "so what exactly happened?" she asked me with furrowed eyebrows and a soft voice.

I told her what happened. Levi cheating on me, Levi slapping me, and me leaving... so practically... everything. I began to tear up again while she hugged me trying her best to comfort me.

"you can sleep in my room, if it is okay with you, we can share the bed, but if you don't want to sleep together, I'm fine on the couch you go to sleep in the bed" she said.

" Sharing the bed is f-fine" I said still stuttering because I just finished crying.

Hanji gave me one of her T-shirt and shorts that are oversized to me because I was short and she was way more taller than me, she let me wear it because she says that it will look good in me (sorry if you're tall A/N)

I entered Hanji's bedroom to see Hanji with red sports bra and black sweat pants, I don't know why but the sight makes me blush

'no this is wrong she is a girl and I'm also a girl, we literally just got cheated on' I mentally scold my self for blushing.

I am so confused of what I'm feeling, I shouldn't feel this way... Right..?

"oh (Y/N) come on let's sleep it's already 2 am" Hanji said glancing at the clock on the table beside her bed.

I lay down facing away from her.

I soon felt Hanji lay beside me, and before I drifted to sleep I felt Hanji's hand slip in my waist...then I fall asleep...

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

NOTE: MAY CHANGE DUE TO REPLOTTING. Full story on Wattpad.

Continuation in my WATTPAD BOOK

Feel free to ask, my vamps

MASTER LIST

[secretsecretbunny]

Just friends: stray kids smau.

Get to know the characters/story set up.

pairing: lee minho x f!reader - roommate!skz.

genre: fluff, angst, smau, (maybe smut in the future idk yet, may have written parts as well) roommates au.

notes/set up: boys are non idols, but some still do music/dance + other jobs. they all live together in a big ass house that's owned by richboy!felix's family. chan, minho, changbin, and y/n were college friends. chan and felix are cousins. felix, hyunjin, han, seungmin, and innie were college friends. literally all college dropouts which is what they all bonded over. ended up living together by association basically. chan, bin, and han are still 3racha, and are known, just not famous.

↓about them↓

chan: nicknames- channie, dad, pops, paparacha, sometimes gets called chris but usually only when someone's mad/serious. producer for social media musicians/small time musicians, and 3racha. almost always at the studio. group dad. supportive, sweet, helpful, responsible, overworker, protective, peace keeper. loves his friends more than anything, also loves music, romcoms, running/jogging, working out with changbin. well off but not super rich.

minho: nicknames- min, catboy, grumpy, twinkle toes, dancing queen, loverboy, hoe. choreographer/dance instructor. cold on the outside, squishy in the middle. doesn't express his feelings well, but tends to be softer around y/n. loves cats, movie nights, night walks/drives, and true crime podcasts. social weed smoker and drinker. hardworker, sarcastic, flirty, funny, makes inappropriate jokes. he likes to pretend he doesn't care, but secretly does.

changbin: nicknames- binnie, bin, binbo, crybaby, muscle man, beefcake. personal trainer, duh. loud. straight up himbo. his appearance scares people but he's protective, kind, caring, and will cry at cute things/when he's happy. absolutely loves cute things, y/n's cooking, cheesy TV dramas, rapping, working out, and affection. all around soft boy until you piss him off.

hyunjin: nicknames- hyune, hyunnie bun, jinnie, gorgeous, rapunzel, punzie, bob ross. he's rich. also sells his art. sarcastic, blunt, artistic, boujie, addicted to shopping. also likes to pretend he doesn't care, but probably cares too much. loves painting, drawing, and being lazy with his friends. a little in love with felix, no one can tell if he's serious or not. will absolutely start painting on the walls, floors, or ceilings just because he can. everyone loves it though.

jisung: nicknames- hanji, ji, hannie, babygirl, smokeshow, bud, han yolo. does random odd jobs and makes a suspicious amount of money from it + sometimes streams with felix. stoner, great friend, supportive, anxious, hyper, has mad adhd, loves anime, rapping, and sweets. he's a little weird but in a good and cute way. loves sharing his weed with his friends. also loud.

felix: nicknames- lixie, lix, pixie, sunshine, golden boy, richy rich, brownie boy, angel. also just rich, part time streamer. literally sunshine ofc. social butterfly. always trying to drag y/n or one of the boys somewhere. sweet, generous, kind, happy, excitable, loves cute things, baking, video games, and also anime. him and ji bond over it.

seungmin: nicknames- seungminnie, minnie, puppy, bitch, dickhead, devil. luxury dog walker (started his own dog walking business). sarcastic, sometimes rude, easily annoyed, but overall a great friend. likes dogs more than people. protective af but tries to hide it. will 100% shut off his rude and sarcastic comments if his friends really need him. loves pranks, coffee, singing, writing, and scary movies.

jeongin: nicknames- innie, in, babyboy, coffee boy, bigmouth. barista at a fancy coffee shop. wants to make his own money and not live off of his wealthy parents. sweet, kind, generous, can be sarcastic when he wants to be. loves animals, coffee, video games, asmr, and singing. can't keep a secret to save his life. plays innocent but is definitely not. once smoked weed and and cried because he couldn't remember how to make a latte. never smoked again. he's the only one of the boys who calls y/n noona.

y/n: nicknames- bug, bubs, princess, tiny, sweetheart, pretty, feisty, attitude, noona. has lots of secrets and trauma. no one knows what she does for work. she refuses to tell the boys and any time they have tried to find out she catches on and puts a stop to it. they just know she's getting paid well. sweet, kind, funny, people pleaser, messy. has an attitude sometimes and can hold a grudge. when in a fight or flight situation it's 50/50. she'll either punch you in the face or run so far her legs turn to jelly. acts confident and bold: isn't. just a great actress. gets sad often but pretends she's not. loves cooking, ghibli movies, plants/flowers, cuddling, fire, and her friends. hates her family. smokes with ji a lot but is a social drinker. she grew up really poor so she tends to get anxious about spending money/people spending money on her. 100% gets princess treatment regardless.

Socials:

part one || part 1.5 || part two || part three

[sweetsungie]

the silence between two special songs | h.j | part 4

pairing: souncloud! jisung x reader (ft. dancer! hyunjin)

genre: college au, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst, mature content, fwb, mutual pining, unrequited love, rapper jisung, english major reader

series: the silence between two special songs

word count: 22k

warnings: cursing, fluff, total angst fest, marijuana use, smoking, a lot of making out, jealousy, mentions of sex, oral (f. receiving), teasing, dirty talk (???), slight dry humping, heartbreak, toxic situationships :(

synopsis:

falling in love with someone was one of the best and worst things a person could do. you'd remember the first time your heart skipped a beat at the sound of their voice and how perfectly their lips fit into yours. you'd remember how they encapsulated every single fiber being within you that you could no longer breathe when you were around them; likewise, you didn't want to.

you'd remember all the good things about them.

but then you'd remember the first time it ached knowing that they cared about you, but not enough. how they loved you, but not the way you wanted them to.

not the way you wanted hyunjin to.

and not the way jisung wanted you to.

•°. *࿐

a/n: this was such a hectic couple of weeks ughhh!!! i hope you guys enjoy this chapter though, a lot of heartbreak and angst and feels and ahhhhh :’( 

as always though, the series spotify playlist is linked below so listen as you read, if you can (i’ve updated with skz replay 2022 hehe)

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

comment to be a part of the taglist <3

masterlist

series playlist

You believed that loving him was like chasing after the clouds. 

“We never made it, did we?��

You knew it was impossible, but you still craved it, just for the excitement, the thrill it gave you; for the feeling of adrenaline coursing through your veins. 

But after a while, you realized it was pointless. 

Absolutely pointless going after something that was completely out of your reach.

It was scary to find someone that made you happy. 

You would start giving them all your attention because they were what made you forget everything and consume anything. And for a split second—that felt like forever—you would find yourself realizing that everything bad in your life had disappeared.

They would be the first person you would want to talk to in the morning and the last one before you slept, just so you could start and end your day with a smile. It all sounded great to have that someone, but it was scary to think about how easily they could just leave and take that happiness away with them.

But still, it was the best thing in the world and you wouldn't trade it in for anything else.

“Fuck Hanji—” You sobbed, back arched, nails digging, and fingers gripping into the sheets below you. This had to be your fourth orgasm of the night—no, maybe fifth. Who knew? You honestly weren't keeping track anymore.

All you knew was that this shouldn't be happening… again.

Jisung’s voice was muffled. “Mhm I know baby, let it out.” He peered up from in between your legs, watching you unfold before his very eyes into a blissful contracting high, over and over, all because of his mouth. “Let me know how good I’m making you feel.”

He, out of all people, knew that he really should not be doing this. 

He shouldn’t keep coming back to you—not like this. Not when he had his heart delicately worn on his sleeve and you were the one to play with it.

Words suddenly didn't seem to exist anymore as you struggled to keep your trembling legs apart. Ultimately you failed, nearly trapping the boy’s head in between your thighs as you rolled over to your side. 

And although Jisung should’ve been regretting it, scolding himself to stop after the first time he made you finish tonight, he couldn't keep a smug smirk from forming on his lips. He lifted himself up to watch you fucked out, eyes shut. 

Sure, he was used to it by now. But he could never get tired of the view. 

He rolled you so you were wholly on your back again, your body limp as you were still in the process of regaining any sense of strength you had. Lowering himself onto his forearms, he leaned himself slightly onto the top of your chest, upper bodies pressed together. Like always, he wanted to feel you closer.

Kissing you gently at first, soft skin gliding over softer skin, he pulled your lower lip between his, drawing on it slightly. “Another?” His warm breath blew across your cheek, a hungry look in his eyes. 

It should’ve felt like you've both done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, maybe even stole some candy from a kid—but as his embrace became more heated, his hand clasping around your neck and stroking up and down until he felt you relax—it felt like complete bliss. 

You shuttered so easily against his touch. The barest tip of his tongue moved forward to tease your upper lip. You welcomed him, and he began to explore your mouth with purpose, catching you almost unaware. 

The lack of words from you was what caused his hand to wander. It trailed down the side of your waist, down your hips, and right in between your legs again before grazing a finger against your wet, throbbing bud. 

You moaned against him, your hips lifting from the contact. It was ridiculous how needy you had gotten within the past few weeks. Ever since you had gotten a taste of what a real orgasm felt like, you just couldn't stop. 

Partly because it felt so good in it by itself, and partly because, well, it felt so good that you seemingly forgot about all your worries.

Ever since break had begun, there had been a constant routine in place. 

You’d wake up, think about Hyunjin, go on your morning walk, read, take a nap with a random movie playing in the back, think about Hyunjin some more, read again, and get into bed. 

Then, you’d end up not being able to fall asleep. So, you’d spend some time on your phone—an hour, maybe even two. Just long enough until you’d run out of applications to fornicate with, ultimately leading you to think about Hyunjin again.

What was he doing? What did he wear today? Did he have a good day? A bad one?

It was embarrassing, pitiful, and pathetic and all you wanted to do was shame yourself in the mirror because of how utterly miserable you were acting over a boy.

So later you’d result in texting Jisung, and bother him until he’d understand what was going on with you. He had mastered the language of ‘girl’ after spending his whole life dealing with you.

And because of that, he’d end up calling you even though he was flooded with work right next door at his desk and was too lazy to get up and talk to you in person.

You’d always let it ring twice—sometimes two and a half just because you didn't want to seem too desperate for what you had in mind.

"I'm bored," you’d sigh dramatically.

He would simply laugh as his heart quickened, mind running back and forth between yes, no, yes, no, until he was stuck on yes as if some malware had corrupted his system. A beautiful, yet dangerous virus.

After what happened the first night, you had told Jisung multiple times that he didn't need to do this anymore. You felt bad because it seemed like he was just doing this for you. 

When you made the first move, he was hesitant and overly nervous.

"Are you sure?"

He paused for a second before nodding his head. "Yes,” and he told you honestly. He had made a contract with himself before even entering your room that he’d forget the consequences—just this once. He could have everything.

He’d insist and tell you that he didn't mind—that if you needed to release your stress, he could help you. And because of this, it didn't help that he seemed to be feeding into your addiction. You had no choice but to believe it. 

So now, if it wasn't for the sudden discomfort you felt against his fingers, you would've kept going to have your next climax—because you needed it, and because you wanted it.

But it would all happen again tomorrow, right? 

Wincing from the overstimulation, you pulled away from his swollen lips slightly. “Mm—I don’t think I can go again.” Your pelvis was growing sore and the space between your legs began to ache.

He nodded, his mouth moving against the surface of your skin for a few moments more before halting his movements. He lifted himself, falling over beside you with a sigh. 

Turning to look at him, you took in his flushed-out face. “You want next?” You asked, beginning to reach for the waistband of his sweatpants before he stopped you.

He shook his head, eyes closed with sleep. “No, that’s okay.”

“Are you sure? I feel bad.”

“Don’t feel bad.”

“Easy for you to say. You never let me go down on you,” you huffed out. “I feel like it’s not fair.”

It was true. Based on the laws of orgasms between more than one person, it wasn't fair. Everyone involved should be able to feel the sweet sensation of release. But Jisung felt like he didn't deserve that—especially not from you. 

And it wasn't as if he hadn't lost all his self-respect already, he somehow managed to save the last shred of it by not letting your lips anywhere near his dick.

Surely, you both have had sex multiple times by now, with the two of you chasing your highs. And if he was lucky, sometimes he’d even finish twice. But something about the thought of you solely out to please him, and only him—He’d lose his mind once and for all.

Jisung was nothing but a humble servant. It was better this way for him. Opening an eye to glance over at you, he plastered a ridiculous smile onto his lips. “Don’t feel bad for abusing my skills.”

Your mouth fell agape and you slapped his chest. “Bitch, I literally just offered!”

His hands came up to shield himself, now fully awake. He laughed until you huffed out in playful frustration. “I just want to sleep with you, that’s all.” 

“You can silly.” You engulf him in a kiss and he hummed, pulling away ever so slightly.

“But like in the innocent way.” He wasn't sure if you understood where he was going with this.

You groaned dramatically, a humorous smile forming on your lips. “You're so boring…”

“Oh, am I?” He raised an eyebrow, quizzically, and you nodded. “If I’m being honest, I was expecting you to get down on one knee while asking to give me head… so if anyone's boring, that’s all you.” 

You paused for a moment. "Now, you're the stupidest person I've ever met. Did you know that?"

He let out a complacent laugh. "I get that a lot. Good thing you help me with my homework! But you love it, don't you?" He teased, taking a strand of your hair and twirling it around his finger.

Whatever. You rolled your eyes, "I don't know, do I?" 

His phone sounded with his ringtone. "I sure hope so.” 

As he turned over to your nightstand to grab his phone to answer it, you sat up, cringing at the big mess you made between your legs. You needed to shower quickly before Minho came home and hogged all the hot water. 

He was finally coming back after a full week away for break. He had gone on vacation with his parents and cats and you couldn't wait to hear about it tomorrow. 

“In the morning?” Jisung groaned slightly from beside you. He sat up, leaning to grab one of your plushies that found its way onto the ground, and lazily hugged it to his chest. “That’s so early… Yeah, yeah I know… Fine… I’ll see you then.”

And with that he hung up, tossing his phone down on the space in front of him. His expression screamed with slight annoyance and despair and you couldn’t help but teasingly question him over it.

“What's with the face?” You chuckled, tossing on a shirt.

“I have to go to the studio tomorrow at like seven in the morning,” he exhaustingly hurled his head back onto a pillow.

Immediately your eyes brightened and you hopped back onto the bed beside him. “I wanna go!”

For the past couple of days since break had begun, Jisung, Chan, and Changbin had been trying to rent out a spot at a studio to record and plan for their third mini album.

This was a big deal for them because they were never able to do it in any other place besides their small studio setup at their houses. So they did a lot of research and were slowly trying to expand their resources.

Jisung looked at you with the utmost confusion ever, “Did you miss the part where I said it was at seven in the morning?”

“So what? That means we get an early start to our days!”

Now he was really fucking confused. “Let me get this straight. You—Y/N—wants to get an early start to your day? It must be opposite day.”

Your jaw dropped, “What do you take me for? I can get up early.” He gave you a look that screamed with ‘in your dreams.’ It made you scoff at his audacity. “You really underestimate me.”

He lightheartedly rolled his eyes, trying his best to fight an amused smile at your annoyance, “Hmm, I guess I do.” He could feel his face beginning to heat up and he mentally cursed himself out for it. “Either way, the answer is no.”

"Why?"

He paused for a moment, thinking. "Because you talk too much it’s distracting."

You raised your eyebrows and pointed at yourself. "Me? I’m the one who talks too much?" 

He nodded in response, just to get you worked up for his own personal enjoyment. And it worked considering you glared at him for a couple of seconds. 

“Jisung, you and I both know that you’re the one who never shuts up.”

“Woah, now I’m just offended.”

“How?”

“Because you make it seem like it's a bad thing Y/N.”

“Well, that's because you made it seem like it too—You know what? Never mind, I don't wanna go anymore.”

If anybody heard you both, they would've assumed you were an old bickering couple.

He bursted out laughing and kept trying to reach for you—trying to touch you to apologize. You had to tell him to stop many times until you relentlessly gave up. "I’m sorry," he cheekily grinned, poking the fat of your cheek, "Forgive me."

“Shut up, Han.” You swatted his hand away.

Placing a hand on his chest, he gasped. “Ouch, not the government.” After a moment, he exhaled loudly like he had been keeping in a breath for too long. "You know what?" He said to you. He slid his fingers through yours and squeezed your hand.

"What loser?" You were still kind of mad at him.

"You're my favorite person.” 

He felt you laugh a little and it made him smile.

"Oh yeah? Out of how many people?" You asked.

"All of them babe,” he winked. “So, fine, you can come.” You squinted at him for a few seconds, suspicious of his sudden switch-up. “What?” He laughed, giving your hand another squeeze. “C’mon, I’ll buy you coffee and food too.”

“I feel like this is a joke and you're just trying to get my hopes up.”

“Definitely the case.”

You pushed him away from you, jokingly. “Fuck you.”

But when he brought himself back to you, touched your bare arm, and then cupped your chin, he turned your head to face him. “Kidding.” It felt as if the stars were dancing across his skin. "You can actually come. And if it helps I’ll give you kisses all over your face,” he proudly stated, lifting a finger, “but don't even dare try to nap on Changbin’s shoulder either, even though he has more muscles than me! You can only nap on mine… or the arm of the sofa.”

You laughed, shaking your chin from out of his grip. "Are you always so greedy?"

His eyes glinted, "With you, yes.” Easily, yes.

“Gross, Sungie. You made it sound real for a second,” you faked a gag. "But okay. I’ll go if you want me to so badly.”

The two of you didn't know what to call it, what was happening between you, but you both liked it. It felt silly and fragile and good.

Usually, he would’ve argued back but he’d let you have it just this once. “As aggravating as it is, I do.”

You laughed, “See, this is why you're my favorite person, too, Ji.” You snuggled your head against him. “By a long shot.”

Silly, fragile. good, and everything else in between.

By the time you both needed to leave the next morning, it managed to take a lot of willpower in getting the both of you out of bed than expected.

It didn't help that you and Jisung were running off of only a couple of hours of sleep either, so the thought of ever getting out of the warmth of your sheets was pushed far back in both of your minds. 

But soon enough, you realized that someone had to take one for the team and get up first, or else neither of you would ever make it. Yet every time you mustered enough energy to attempt to get up, Jisung would always pull you right back in into the warmth of his embrace. 

And of course, you had no other choice but to let your body fall into his control.

This was why the both of you were an hour late. 

As expected, Chan lectured the both of you when arriving—more so Jisung, since the older boy didn't have the heart to blame you entirely for his friend’s laziness. Although, he knew in reality you were all the more reason for it.

“I told you that we should’ve said six instead of seven,” Changbin butted in from where he was seated. “If we did, he would’ve come right on time.”

Jisung flicked him off, “Shut up. This isn't even fair because you live with Chan. If you were me you would’ve overslept too.”

Changbin mocked him in a childlike manner and Jisung nearly launched himself on top of him. This was normal behavior between the both of them so you and Chan simply laughed as a result. 

Soon after the bickering ended (with Chan having to interfere of course), the boys finally began to work and you found a spot in the back where there were couches to catch up on some reading. 

Despite the fact that you had read a lot during the break already, you had only been reading the book Hyunjin had given you. And you were nearly finished with it, but for some reason, you couldn't bring yourself to actually complete it.

This was why you were stuck reading some random book that you ordered online a couple of days ago now. 

You weren't too sure as to how long they had rented out the studio for, but you had assumed it was for a good part day by the looks of it. A couple of hours had passed by now, with the three of them in and out of the recording booth. It was interesting at first watching the music process behind the scenes, but now you were starting to grow bored.

What did you expect though? They paid for this room so surely, they would be doing what they planned on doing which was working. 

You sighed to yourself, flipping to the next page. Where was your free coffee and food? Maybe you should bother Jisung about it soon because he made a bold claim about it yesterday.

You looked up to watch him from where he was at. You could hear his light mumbles as he repeated the lyrics. He was sat across, his back facing you, and tapped his pen against the table whilst he made up a random tune to go along with it. You resisted the urge to let your eyes linger on him for too long. 

Although you couldn't see it from where you were sat, his eyes traced his notebook as he lazily swayed himself in his chair. But you didn't need to see his face to know that he had a faint crease between his eyebrows as he focused. 

And suddenly you felt something pool in between your legs at the thought. You imagined your mouth moving down to his neck and breathing in the scent of his skin so he would gasp. You imagined taking in the taste of him, running your hands down his chest, kissing your way across and down the line of his torso.

You tried to not make it obvious that you were openly studying him. 

But ultimately, you failed as you suddenly felt a pair of eyes on you—and it was Chan’s. He had caught you staring and immediately after, your cheeks flushed red. Undeniably enough, he most definitely did not know the reason behind your stare, but still, you felt icky.

Why were you so aroused all the time? It was embarrassing.

You would have shaken your head if you could have found it.

"Alright, tell me what you think," Jisung said to the boys beside him, passing his notebook. It woke you up from your daze. He leaned back in his chair, spinning around in it briefly to face you and give you a quick smile. 

But, looking at your flushed-out appearance, curiosity quickly washed over him as he wondered what had been on your mind. 

The boys soon gave their input, agreeing with some of his additions. “But maybe you should ask Y/N. She has a fresh eye,” Chan suggested suddenly. 

Jisung’s eyes widened slightly, at your name. He needed to stop getting flustered so easily. He was just unsure of where his friend was taking this so abruptly. 

He took his notebook back, silently hoping that Changbin wouldn't agree with Chan. 

“That’s true. Sometimes a new person could help,” Changbin added before turning back to look at you. “Y/N, come here real quick. We need your input.”

With a sigh, you stood up from where you sat and walked over to them. Jisung hesitantly passed you his notebook and a minute passed before you finished reading what he had wrote. 

You were silent for a moment, reflecting.

"Hmm… I think," you said slowly as you leaned over to place his notebook in the space in front of him. His eyes followed your actions. "I think that you really can drive a person crazy by simply refusing to look at them. I like it.”

You were referring to a specific line you had read.

Jisung chuckled to himself softly, tracing his tongue lightly against the bottom of his lip. He turned around in his chair properly so his back was facing you again and he couldn't see you anymore. 

His elbows now rested on the table as he sucked in against his teeth. "I suppose there isn't anything quite like being ignored by someone you have feelings for, huh?"

It was nearly two in the afternoon before you decided you were pretty close to disliking books. You had spent so much time today reading and pausing and reading and pausing—you were so tired of looking at pages.

You also didn't have any room to voice your complaints. You were the one who basically begged to go last night but now you were slowly starting to regret it. And sure, it would've been easier to just leave right then, by yourself, but a part of you wanted to prove to Jisung that you wanted to be there. 

It was your stupid and really lame way of trying to show your appreciation to the boys because this was their first time in an official studio. But the clock was moving too damn slow, probably even slower than usual.

You sighed to yourself, throwing the paperback book onto the opposite side of the couch. That was enough of that. How much longer was this going to take…

“Alright, let’s take it from the top.”

It took everything in you to not groan loudly for everyone to hear you. Today wasn't about you and you had to keep reminding yourself of that. And it worked… for maybe another half an hour until you just couldn't take it anymore.

You picked up your phone and began to type away.

you: i’m bored

No response. You waited a few minutes before texting again.

you: like realllyyyyyyy fucking bored

Nothing.

you: han jisung

Okay, clearly, he was busy working right in front of you… but still. His phone at the very least should’ve lit up. Maybe he was on do not disturb. You were growing irritable.

You stood up, ever so abruptly, and walked over to him. You grabbed his phone that was facing down. He was too busy looking at whatever was on his laptop screen before shooting you a glance from the side.

“Yes?” He asked and stopped typing.

You unlocked his phone and placed it on his keyboard before walking back to the couch. Luckily the other two boys beside him were too busy on their own devices to pay attention to what happened.

It took a few seconds before your phone lit up with a text.

jisung: oh

jisung: me too

jisung: wanna cuddle?

You rolled your eyes still a bit moody but quickly typed nonetheless.

you: yes

jisung: wait

jisung: i was joking

you: oh 

You paused briefly, unsure of what to say next. Now what. 

jisung: fuck it lol

jisung: bathroom? 🫠

Your eyes glanced up from your phone, and Jisung casually stole a look at you before setting his phone back down. It was like you both knew what the answer was going to be. Almost immediately after, you stood up and told the boys that you were going to the bathroom. 

You were very, very restless. 

But the second you stepped out of the room, you realized that you didn't know where anything was. Maybe this would be the perfect time to reflect on your poor, polluted thoughts from earlier. 

“Y/N?” A familiar voice suddenly called out.

You turned to the voice at the end of the hallway behind you, and soon after, you took a stumble backward. It was Seungmin and Hyunjin. 

The same voice, which was Seungmin’s, spoke once more. “Thank God we found you! We’ve been lost for the past ten minutes walking around this building.” His hands carried two brown bags and he made his way to you. “Where are the boys?” 

You were still quite startled by the sudden sight. Then everything processed once Hyunjin took his first step towards you. You looked absolutely disgusting right now. Your hair was a mess, your body was engulfed with a hoodie that was quadruple your size, and you probably still had morning face—you just didn't feel too good about yourself.

The two of them finally met you where you stood, frozen. “Oh—um… hey guys,” you coughed out. Gosh, you were making it so awkward.

“Hi,” Hyunjin waved at you with his usual dimpled smile. His hands were full as he held a cup tray of sodas.

“So, do you know where the room is?” Seungmin prodded, impatiently. 

You swallowed, your eyes struggling to break away from admiring the long-haired boy. “Y-Yeah sorry. It’s just down there.” You pointed over at a door on the right side of the hallway. 

Seungmin thanked you shortly after and headed towards the door. It took him a couple of seconds before he realized Hyunjin wasn't by his side but rather, still in front of you. 

“You coming?”

Hyunjin looked over his shoulder, “Hm? Uh, in a sec. You can head in without me.” You could hear the ice in the sodas clink together as he turned back to face you.

The beanie Hyunjin wore prevented his hair from getting into his eyes. The color was periwinkle and it complimented his skin nicely. 

Yeah, you definitely felt and looked like shit. 

Silence followed subsequentially after Seungmin disappeared behind the studio door. You cleared your throat, “I didn't know you were back.”

His eyes brightened a bit when you spoke. Usually, he had to be the one to start the conversations when it came to you. “I came back last night.”

You nodded slowly, wanting to hear more about it. “How was home?”

“I mean, it was nice seeing my family and KKami,” he shrugged, “the weather wasn't too cold either, so that was nice.”

He paused, trying to think about what more he could say. 

“... Ah—and I worked on my art a lot! I would love for you to see it.”

“Oh…” Your eyes grew slightly bigger at the second half of his response. “Me?” You were feeling like you didn't hear him properly. 

“Yes! When you have time, of course,” he nodded giving you a warm smile. “But um… art aside, overall, I missed everyone a lot,” he proceeded to say regarding the conversation. He felt himself getting off track.

You wondered who fell under the category of everyone.

It had been so confusing these past few weeks with Hyunjin and you weren't too sure about what he was thinking. Maybe before you would have had an inkling, but now? You had no clue.

All you knew what that every time you looked at him you were sure of how you felt. You’d passed by each other and your heart raced and you were sure of how you felt. One day he was acting cute with you and the next it was awkward and you’d never speak. 

“I’m sure everyone missed you too, Jinnie.”

It just made you unsure about everything on his end. He was never yours to begin with, but you couldn't live without him. 

He laughed softly, “So does that mean you missed me then?”

You sucked in a breath, quietly, unsure of how to respond. Was he flirting? You weren't too sure if this was considered that. He was probably being nice… just like he was nice for inviting you to see his art.

Just as you were about to answer, the studio door opened, revealing Jisung.

His eyes instantly widened as he took in the view of the both of you, “Oh—um, sorry.” He suddenly felt bad for interrupting your time with Hyunjin. He quickly walked back into the room not bothering to wait for the both of you to respond.

You and Hyunjin both looked at each other for a moment before deciding to follow Jisung into the studio. Whatever was left of your slightly awkward conversation soon died out and suddenly you didn't need to go to the bathroom anymore now that Hyunjin was here.

Once entering, Seungmin was in the process of unpacking the food he had bought for everyone out of the bags. The smell alone made you want to smother him in a big hug because you were starving. You hadn't gotten a proper meal today yet because of how late you and Jisung were and there just wasn't any time for that beforehand.

By the time everyone sat and ate, the room was full of conversation. It seemed to be a mutual understanding between both you and Jisung that you both just weren't going to be needing the bathroom anymore anytime soon. 

It was pretty obvious by how you sat beside Hyunjin and nearly laughed at everything he said.

Jisung was pretty sure that whatever it was that had you laughing so loudly every other minute couldn't have been that funny. He was a much better comedian than Hyunjin. Well, that's what he liked to believe anyway.

Soon enough everyone took the lunch break a bit too much to their leisure because Changbin was currently standing at the front of the room—with Chan by his side as his special assistant—in the middle of a game of charades. 

This was obviously not the time for it, especially when the boys had paid money for this room to get work done. But a few games didn't hurt. 

Changbin grabbed spun Chan around so everyone could see his back, and smacked his butt. 

“Bin, you’re clearly mimicking Minho.” Seungmin blandly said immediately, which made everyone laugh. “Who else smacks ass?”

The boy sighed dramatically in defeat before plopping down on the couch. “You guys could’ve at least tried to act like it was good.” He took a long sip of his drink before speaking up, “Hyune, you’re next,” he called out. “Make it hard or else Seungmin’s going to win.”

Seungmin gave Changbin a quick sarcastic smile before directing his attention to his phone. 

“I’m not good at this,” Hyunjin complained, laughing. He stood near the producing tables in an effort to somehow mimic one of the members of 3Racha someway. He was honestly just going to make it up on the spot.

Which he did… sort of. It was just really, really bad.

Changbin looked at the boy confused, “You need to be a little clearer than that my guy.”

“Take it easy on him,” Chan chuckled. “Just try it again Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin grabbed a pair of headphones from the table, not realizing that the wire had tipped over Jisung’s drink. It wasn't until his eyes caught a glimpse of the white cup on its side and sheets of paper starting to darken from the liquid seeping through it that he gasped.

"Oh shit!” He set the headphones back down and quickly picked up the cup hoping to prevent any more damage. But honestly, it was already too late.

Chan immediately stood up, speeding over to the scene. It took him a moment before he slowly lifted a notebook and looked over at Jisung who was busy listening to whatever nonsense Changbin had to say. 

And as Jisung caught a glance at Chan’s expression, his lingering smile faded when he realized the notebook Chan had in his hands was his, except completely soaked with soda. 

He shot up from his seat to see what happened and his heart almost broke at the sight. He saw his notebook—the one which housed literally every song from the past few years, ruined. There was no way this actually happened. He had to be dreaming. 

“Hanji—Shit—I’m so sorry!” Hyunjin felt terrible.

Your eyes widened and you walked over to them to see what the commotion was about.

Jisung was completely silent. He honestly had no words. He was just overwhelmed with so many emotions and was afraid that if he did speak, he’d regret what would come out.

You gasped, as you watched him carefully go through the pages to see how much was destroyed. “Ji…” You knew how much this meant to him.

He sighed and closed his notebook, setting it right back down on the wet table. 

And he walked out of the room.

Hyunjin’s face was pale, all the color basically sucked out of his face. This was all his fault, he thought. Why did he always have to go and ruin everything?

Chan swallowed, not knowing how to break the silence that overtook the entire room. He honestly never saw Jisung that angry before—neither have you. He was silent, not showing an ounce of emotion, and simply just left.

The tall boy began to panic. “What do I do? I fucked up—”

"It was an accident,” Chan sucked in a breath of air, picking up the notebook from the mess again and setting it off to a drier side of the table. He also knew how important this was for Jisung but he saw no point in shaming Hyunjin for it. It was already done. "Ahh... Binnie, can you grab some napkins? Let me go and check up on him.”

And you were about to offer to take his place and talk to Jisung yourself, but Chan already walked out of the room.

There was music that sounded loudly throughout the entire apartment. 

It was nearly eleven at the night and soon enough your neighbors would start knocking at the front door because of it.

“What the fuck is he still on about?” Minho grunted as he stood up from the sofa. He was in the middle of trying to finish his show. 

Your bedroom door was open so you glanced over at Minho from where you were seated at your desk, and watched him as he went and knocked on Jisung’s door. 

Ever since the incident at the studio, Jisung had been so quiet—completely silent in fact. You felt like you were walking on eggshells around him for the first time in your life and it scared you because you never saw him like that before.

Usually, when he was upset, he’d get over it after a day or two. But now it had been almost a week since and you didn't know how to tackle it.

Sure, you’ve definitely been mad before—definitely too many times to count—but you always had him to help you out of it. He’d always suffocate you with hugs, bring you food, and refuse to leave your side until you cracked a smile. 

But now that the situation was flipped, you weren't sure if acting all bubbly and joking around would help him feel better the way it had always worked on you.

Minho knocked again much more adamantly, “Jisung.” Still nothing. “We will get a noise complaint if you don’t turn your stupid music down.”

A few moments later, the music stopped and Jisung swung his door open. He brushed past Minho, who furrowed his eyebrows at the boy's borderline rude demeanor, and then proceeded to zip up his coat and put his shoes on by the door.

Where was he going?

Once he walked out, the apartment fell silent. You felt like a bystander, especially by the way you watched this all happen from your room.

If this was what he was like when he was mad, order would never be restored on Earth. There was no way.

The remaining boy, let out a loud breath, sitting back down on the couch and pressing resume. “I’m trying my best to give him the benefit of the doubt but…”

“I know,” you sighed. You understood where both of them were coming from. Jisung had been acting out irrationally ever since and it was so irresponsible. He hadn't even been replying to Chan or Changbin—so much so, they were worried and came over to check up on him.

But still, you felt sorry for him.

That was years of his hard work down the drain. 

You grew worried about him now, wondering where he actually went. He probably shouldn't be alone out in public and you were afraid he’d get into trouble somehow. Maybe he went to the roof? You were name-dropping a few places in your mind, but the roof seemed like the most plausible option.

Standing up from your chair, you grabbed a hoodie and threw it on. Before leaving your room though, you made sure to grab the new notebook you had bought for him a couple of days ago. You weren't sure if he already had a new one by now, but you still wanted to give him it just in case.

You walked over to the front door to put on your shoes and Minho said, “Let me know when you find him.” 

Of course, Minho was still upset with Jisung’s behavior, quite frankly he wanted to explode, but he was still his best friend. He knew that this was just his own way of coping with what happened.

You nodded, giving him a light smile before heading off to the rooftop of your building. You really hoped Jisung was there, frankly, you honestly had no other locations in mind that made sense.

He rarely went out and when he did, it was to his friend's houses. But since you already knew that he wasn't actively talking to any of them, that wouldn't be the case.

Once walking out of the elevator, you heard soft faded sounds of music playing from the farthest end of the roof. You smiled to yourself softly, quickly realizing that it had to be him. 

You quietly walked over to him, sitting down beside him without a word. He was in the middle of taking a hit from his pipe, later blowing out the smoke. And now that you were there beside him, you honestly didn't know what to say. You didn't think that far ahead.

He glanced over at you, offering his pipe which you gladly accepted. You placed the colorful glass in between your lips as he lit the weed that was inside of it. 

None of you said anything yet and for the first time, you felt an awkward tension arise between the both of you. You weren't good at consoling other people. It was just something that you struggled with your whole life. 

So after taking a hit, you breathed out a simple, “I’m sorry.”

After a few more moments of silence, Jisung lightly scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“No, I’m sorry. You didn't deserve that,” you frowned. “How can I help?” He shook his head, releasing smoke into the cold air again. “Seriously, Ji I—”

His voice snapped and was much sterner this time around, “Stop it, Y/N. It doesn't matter anymore. It’s done and there's no going back now.” 

You flinched at his tone and immediately his features softened once he realized. 

“I…” He sighed. This was why he had been avoiding everybody. He didn't want to blow up or say anything that would make anyone feel bad. It would've made him feel even worse—seeing you now, made him feel worse. “I’m sorry. I really don't know why I’m like this.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay. I know I’ve been annoying and I feel like shit knowing I’m stressing everybody out,” he quickly refuted. “I feel terrible for feeling this way, but I’m upset. I can’t not be upset.”

Within these past few days, he had been going through trials and tribulations. He knew Hyunjin didn't do it on purpose so he couldn't be too mad at him about that. He was just upset. And it was stupid because he was upset at Hyunjin more for stealing your heart away than ruining all the work he had down for the past few years.

It annoyed him so much because of this. 

Hyunjin stole you and now the only other thing Jisung had for himself—his music. 

He took a deep breath to himself, feeling a bit lightheaded now from all the weed he had smoked. 

And he guessed that was how a person knew they loved someone: when their heart ached; when their stomach dropped; when their lungs felt like they were caving in, just because of the thought of them with someone else.

You placed something on the faux grass that suddenly captured his attention: a new notebook. “I know that it may not have everything your old one had, likewise, it never will—but I hope that you could at least make new memories with it?” You suggested.

His quiet music still played from the speakers of his phone and he could've sworn to himself that the world was moving in slow motion. Any normal best friend would've gotten their grieving friend another notebook if that was the reason for the sadness. It’s obvious. 

But, the gesture was too much for his heart to handle. Especially when he was this high. Especially when he was this upset about himself—and you—and Hyunjin—and life.

Immediately his heart rate increased. “I love you,” he blurted out. 

You laughed sweetly, not paying attention to the weight of his words. “I’m glad you like it, Sungie.”

“Too much—I love you too much,” he continued, quietly this time. 

You shoved his shoulder gently. “Quit it. You're making me blush.” You tried to make the conversation turn into something light-hearted. Something you hoped to help his mood.

But he was slightly feeling even worse. You weren't taking him seriously.

After talking with Chan that one night a few weeks back, Jisung had tried his best to get you out of his mind. But even still, he found himself thinking of you late into every night, hoping that there was a chance that you might’ve fallen asleep thinking about him, even for a second. 

He found himself making lists in his head of what new things made you laugh every day, just so he could hear it more and more. He found himself unable to look away even when you were just carelessly reading a book; sometimes, especially then. 

He could not erase your beauty from his mind, because the moment he'd look at you from that different perspective, he could not go back. After seeing you as beautiful, he could never again just look at you with indifference.

So he kissed you—without warning, without permission, without even deciding to do it but simply because he couldn't have done anything else—he kissed you. 

He was in pain, hurting, and all he wanted to do was feel you—you were the source of quite literally everything good and bad in his life. And he needed that breath you were holding because it belonged to him, and he wanted it back. So much so that he kissed you deeply enough that as he fought for what was his, you forgot whose air you were breathing.

The smell of your hair, the taste of your mouth, and the feeling of your skin seemed to have gotten inside him, moreover, into the air all around him. You had become a physical necessity.

"Ji…" You mumbled against his lips. 

You were on the roof with a beautiful boy, and he was trying to tell you that he loves you, but you didn't care to listen. He loves you, you know?

The formerly quiet music was now concealed by both of your loud breaths. Once he moved his mouth to suck onto your delicate neck, lightly biting, that's when you whimpered, unable to keep your composure. 

Seemingly so, it affected him the same because he pulled you on top of him so you straddled his waist. He didn't like the space between you and him. He moved his lips against your jaw, and your chin, and painstakingly slow down the left side of your neck until he was kissing the hollow at the base of your throat.

"Jisung." You breathed out again, your eyes beginning to feel heavy from the sensual feeling between your thighs. You weren't expecting this to happen. He tugged at your hoodie, beginning to pull it off, but you jumped at the sudden contact of coolness hitting your exposed skin. "Shit– Ji, we can’t," you whispered, pulling your hoodie back down.

"Why not?" He asked. 

“Because.”

He tilted his head up slightly to look at you, his hands continuing to explore underneath your hoodie. “Because?”

Seconds later, his lips hovered themselves against yours again, lightly brushing over them. He gave you the one thing that you wanted most. He made you feel desired. You knew it was wrong but the very thought of his hands gliding up against your bare torso and touching you made you blush in all the right places.

“Honestly I thought you’d participate more,” he hummed. You moved your hips against his very much clear hard-on and he bucked his hips. "Fuck." He caressed as much of you as he could reach and kissed you hard. Tightening every muscle in his body. He had to force himself to not go back downstairs and throw you on his bed. 

So what if Minho saw?

He wanted to go slow with you, for his sake. But it was just so hard. He wondered if there would ever be a time when he’d actually need foreplay to get hard with you.

You let out a half-chuckle, amused by how affected he was. “I'd participate.” You stopped grinding your hips and pushed away his hair from his forehead, endearingly. "But not today.”

It didn't quite hit him that he had basically confessed that he loved you until he felt you try to move from off his lap. His grip around your waist tightened. 

He wondered if it could be so hard for you to love him. 

Maybe tonight wasn't the night for you to know that. Maybe someday he’d tell you again, but instead, he’d write it and put the message in a bottle and throw it into the ocean hoping it would somehow reach you when the timing was right. 

“Can we just stay like this?” He asked, suddenly afraid to look into your eyes. “Please.”

You gave him a warm smile, nodding. 

He bit the inner corner of his cheek and squeezed his eyes shut in hopes of it maybe stopping him from saying anything he’d regret tomorrow. He leaned forward, his head fitting perfectly in the crook of your neck. 

“Could it really be so hard to love someone like me?” he repeated to himself.

Letting out a wisp of smoke into the air, he reopened his eyes. 

“Perhaps, it is.”

You checked your phone briefly to see if Minho had texted you but all your eyes captured was the time displayed. You began to get lost in the ticking of the clock you had imagined in your head.

“It’s 11:11 make a wish,” you whispered, setting your phone back down. You wrapped your arms around his neck to hug him closer and squeezed him a little tighter. 

“I’ve got mine,” Jisung replied instantly and you were too curious to keep yourself from asking what wish provoked such a quick response. “Can I tell you?” He questioned, wondering if sharing a wish truly kept it from coming true. 

“I don't know, write it down in your new notebook and tell me in a month,” you offered.

“How about in 20 years?” He asked with a contagious smile that you knew was there although you couldn’t see it.

You rolled your eyes, laughing. “Sure, that works too.”

He lifted his head from your neck and pulled away slightly. He stared at you while you were in the middle of asking him if he had felt better now, but the look in his eyes made you pause, "What?" You asked self-consciously.

He shook his head lightly. "Nothing," he said, maddeningly. You scrunched your nose in distaste. "I just," he said slowly, carefully. "I just want to hang out with you my whole life. You know?”

You made your way to the art studio with your hands both carrying a coffee each and with a pastry bag hugged against your chest. It was raining and you probably looked ridiculous without an umbrella, but you didn't mind as you were on your way to see your man that wasn't your man but was at the same time. 

It was complicated. 

Surely, the both of you hadn't been spending nearly as much time as before. But, you had hoped that now that he had invited you back to the art studio, things could go back to how they were.

Finally arriving, you used your shoulder to push open the parted door of the art studio since your hands were clearly already occupied. As you opened the door, Hyunjin turned his head to meet you, and his pink lips automatically curved into a smile. 

Then, it took him half a second before gasping at the sight of you basically drenched from the rain.

He quickly stood up from his stool to assist you, "Oh no!" He helped you by taking the coffee and pastry bag from your hands and setting them down on a nearby table. “Let me get you an extra sweater.”

“Hyunjin, it's okay,” you waved off. “I’m not cold.”

He shook his head not wanting to hear it. “No, no—you can get sick. Wait here, let me get it from my bag.”

It took him a minute before locating his extra sweater from his dance bag. He quickly draped it over your shoulders and your heart did that thing again. The thing where it sped up ever so instantly. You were entering dangerous territory by having his clothing encompass you like this. 

It smelled too much like him.

He gave you a dimpled grin, "Thank you for bringing these. You really didn't need to… especially since you got soaked in the process."

You chuckled, “Don't worry about it. I hope the pastries survived.”

He passed you one of the coffees you had brought. "They should be okay.” 

It didn't really hit you until now that you were back at the place where you kissed Hyunjin for the first time. It had been a while since it happened and you couldn't help but feel your mouth grow dry from the thought of reliving it. 

You took a sip of the lukewarm drink and looked at him.

It didn't take long for you to see the boy of your dreams staring right back at you, with his smile so wide and bright. He held a big canvas in his hands, ready to show you, and you felt content. You felt secure and safe around him. And when he looked at you, he made you feel so whole.

And it was simple, really. You wanted the feeling. 

The feeling where the world stopped and started all at the same time. You wanted to feel the rest of the world fade away when that one person was holding your hand. You wanted to know a pair of eyes in a crowd that saw only you. You wanted that warmth—the kind of love that filled every space within you and spilled out into the rest of your world. 

Coloring it with hope. And love. And that feeling that only true love can awaken in a heart. 

The feeling of being whole.

Although his look alone could make you feel an adrenaline rush like you were high off him, there was something about the way he watched you as you were busy observing his work. It was like you had years of artistic experience and it was your opinion that only mattered to him. 

It was almost six in the evening and there you were, still sitting beside him on a stool while he explained what everything meant in his piece. It was exciting and meaningful and pure—it was him. 

He stopped speaking for a second, noticing your sudden gaze on him. You were too busy in thought. You really couldn't pinpoint a single flaw on his face. 

He let out a breathy chuckle, "If you’re looking for a way out, I can stop." He didn't take much offense in it as art could sometimes be boring after a while, but you shook your head rather swiftly in response.

"No! I’m awake,” you cleared your throat. “I was just looking at you," you confessed bluntly.

He laughed loudly, his head dipping back slightly. "You're cute."

“You’re cute too.”

"I guess we make a pretty good team, then," he responded. You hadn't noticed how quiet the room had gotten afterward. 

It was funny how much tension could construct itself out of thin air. 

He stood up, grabbing a much smaller piece of work to replace the one you had just looked at. “Does this kind of remind you of anything?” He asked. You looked at the canvas, unable to understand what he meant. He saw how confusion narrowed in between your eyebrows and he giggled. “It's based on the book I gave you a while ago.”

You looked away and took a few moments to think to yourself before meeting his eyes. They were the ones that didn't seem to stray away from you during your short departure. “I haven't finished reading it yet.”

Of course, it was the truth but, you were nearly close to doing so. You could easily depict what he was trying to express in his work but you didn't want to ruin it.

You recalled how the girl in the book didn't fall in love with the boy when she first saw him. She didn't feel any change in heartbeat. Having those feelings for a random boy that she just happened to see often never crossed her mind. 

But then the girl began to notice him, in the ways he spoke, how he chose his words carefully and politely. She began to notice how he always held the door for people and how he respected them. She noticed how he smiled at others and how he got others to smile and her. 

She noticed all of those little details and moments and combined they showed her how beautiful of a person he truly was—-maybe that’s what made the girl fall in love with him completely.

He quickly removed the canvas and flipped it over, “Oh! I shouldn't spoil it then, huh?”

A small breath left your nose and you nodded. “Yeah. You can show me after I finish, okay?”

His eye contact was goosebump-inducing as his lips began curling into a smile while he muttered a sweet, "Okay."

You wished you could explain his eyes instead, and how the sound of his voice gave you butterflies. How his smile made your heart skip a beat and how every time you were literally just around him, you felt so nervous but so complete.

You just wished that you could show him how much he meant to you. Exceptionally so, that you wished you could let him take a look into your mind so that he would see for himself just how much you were in love with him. He was your world and you honestly would’ve spent every day for the rest of your life proving this to him if you could. 

That you were wholeheartedly his. You’d always be for him. 

“Let me show you this one instead!” He offered, setting another similar-sized canvas on the easel. 

As he spoke, you looked over at him, wondering how you could begin to describe your feelings. His smile was so consuming that all you could see were the tops of his cheeks, and the fact that he could literally blind you with happiness was a perfect representation of the kind of effect he had on people. 

He made you happy.

He didn't know the spell he casted over you. He didn't know how every time you were around him it felt like you were living your own self-made fairy tale. You were detached from the world, fallen completely into his—and you never wanted to leave. 

You wanted the fairytale to go on and on, never wanting the story to end. You wanted to stay in this time and place forever, because, with him, there was nowhere else you’d rather be.

You looked at him like he was art and you held onto his words like they were falling stars. 

"You give good advice," you said shortly after he finished explaining his thought process behind this piece of work.

He sheepishly smiled, "I know."

"... Maybe you should start taking it," you looked into his brown eyes in deep thought.

"Hm?"

You shrugged, tilting your head as you thought to yourself for a couple of seconds. You knew that ever since he had come back, he was having trouble readjusting to everything here. You acted like you didn't notice but he was so close to falling apart and you didn't want him to deal with it alone. 

"I mean, you always call art beautiful and courageously mean it, but how is it that the most beautiful person doesn't realize that he too is all of those things and more?"

Maybe you were digging up a hole that he wanted to keep buried and maybe you did regret those words as soon as they left your mouth—but it was said and no matter how much you tried to somehow take it back, it was done. 

He looked down at his lap, clearing his throat as he bit down on the bottom of his lip lightly.

Maybe you did cross a line this time. "You know what, forget I said any—" you started.

"Sometimes, I don't know…I just feel like," he groaned, not appreciating his inability to form his thoughts into coherent sentences. "I just feel like I don't really matter anymore—well, not Hwang Hyunjin me, but like me, me.”

He was the boy who fed into his insecurities and starved himself of potential.

“And it’s not like it's anybody’s fault! It’s really not—it’s just…” He was struggling immensely. “I want people to be happy, I always do. But now I feel like I’ve found myself trying more.”

He never usually said much, but his mind was a storm, his creativity insatiable; he was an enigma. Truly a mystery to you, but the depths of his eyes spoke volumes. His head housed the most intelligent conversations and although he never spoke them out loud all the time, you knew it. 

He never said much, but in the end, that didn't matter. You read him so clearly and he had no idea.

You sighed, “Are you still hung up on what happened with Jisung?”

After that day, Hyunjin felt the worst he’d ever felt in a while. His thoughts were brutal. They were vicious, and mean, and picked out every flaw that he had. 

His mind always won against his heart and they became too much for him. His heart became heavy and he needed to remind himself to breathe and that he was okay—that everything was okay—clearly knowing that it wasn't at all.

“Kinda,” he exhaled before he ran his hands down his face trying to sober up his dilemma. Suddenly his phone rang and it startled the both of you.

He glanced at the contact and sighed to himself again before turning to look at you with a frown. He felt guilt wash over him as he saw the contact although you couldn’t see it for yourself.

You were too busy trying to find the words to tell him that you liked that he trusted you enough that he was willing to confide in you. 

He paused for a moment, and as you were about to say something, he beat you to it.

“I’m sorry, I need to go.”

“Can you like… stop using your phone?” You snatched Jisung’s device from his hands and hid it underneath your leg. “We’re watching a movie.”

He groaned, throwing his head back against the couch. “Well, the movie you chose is lame. Right Lix?”

Felix looked up from his phone, “Huh?”

You rolled your eyes, “You guys suck.”

It was the weekend before finals began and you had sacrificed your studying time to hang out with your friends. Felix was finally free from his theatre escapades for the semester and suggested a night of baking and watching movies. 

You weren't even too sure how Jisung managed to sneak his way into these plans. He had been spending an awful amount of time locked in his room lately, granted, he was trying to catch up on everything he lost. But today he had left for a couple of hours, probably to meet up with his friends, and somehow made it just in time for the movie to begin.

Yet, of course, they took you for granted and clearly wasted your time though.

Felix set his phone down, throwing an arm over your shoulder. “Okay, I’m sorry! I’m done.”

You squinted at him, testingly. “Really?” He nodded and gave you a pinky promise.

“Okay, wait—why won't you take Felix’s phone too?” Jisung pointed out from the side. You shushed him before redirecting your attention back to the movie. 

In their defense, the movie was actually pretty bad. You didn't want to agree with them though because technically, it’d be your fault for choosing a horrible film then. 

As a matter of fact, before watching the movie, you wished Minho hadn't been busy preparing for his dance final so he could stay and spend time with you all. But now, you were thankful he had other plans. He would’ve eaten you alive for wasting his time like this.

Once the movie came to an end, Felix ran to the kitchen to check on the brownies. 

Jisung held his palm out to you, “Phone please.”

“You’re so annoying.” You chuckled, placing it into his hand nonetheless. “This is why you don't have an ‘M’ on your palm, loser.”

You were referring to the old childhood myth behind the meaning of palm lines. 

Apparently, if the lines managed to create an ‘M’ letter, then it meant that you would get married in the future. It was stupid, you both knew it. But it was a debate you two had sometimes when you were younger.

“I might not have an ‘M’ but,” Jisung opened your hands and began to trace tiny little circles on the lines of your palm, "didn't you know? I can read palms too." He concluded it with a sarcastic gasp.

Your eyebrows rose as you looked at the boy with an amused expression, "Oh really?" He nodded and you studied the boy for a few moments not believing him in the slightest, but went along with it anyway. "Fine, what's my future then?"

"Us."

You sat up, now laughing as you threw a pillow at him. "I can't believe you just said that.”

He brought a hand up in defense, "Listen, I just made that up on the spot. You should be proud of me that I am still able to do that even though my brain is fried."

Not bothering to entertain him any longer, you joined Felix in the kitchen and the both of you snacked on brownies. As much as you wanted to say you did most of the work when it came to baking it, Felix was the pro. He had many years of brownie baking on his belt.

The both of you managed to spend the rest of the evening talking about life and honestly anything else that was interesting or new. You could tell that both of you needed it. He’d been overworking himself the entire semester so to finally be done, was so rewarding. Plus, talking to Felix was always like a breath of fresh air.

By the time he left, it was nearly ten o’clock. You weren't too sure if Jisung was still home since his bedroom door was closed and he wasn't anywhere in the living room. So, you went back onto the couch and kept yourself busy with your phone.

You should've really been studying though because shortly after, Jisung peeked his head through his door. It seemed like it was all the more reason for him to bother you.

“Is he gone?” He whispered even though it was sort of loud.

You raised an eyebrow, “Who? Felix?” He nodded. “Yeah, he just left.”

Without a word, he walked over to where you were on the couch and basically snuggled up against you—more so his entire body nearly on top of you. 

"Ji, what are you doing?" You questioned him. 

He nestled himself in a little more, "Making sure you're comfortable." 

"And how will you accomplish that by lying on top of me?"

"I won't." A shadowy grin appeared on his face although you couldn't see it. "I'm just doing that because I like lying on top of you.”

"Well, I don't," you rolled your eyes. His chest brushed against yours, sending a velvet shiver through you. 

"That's a lie."

You huffed, letting his clinginess be. This was normal Jisung behavior anyway. So, you stuck to using your phone some more. 

After a few silent minutes, the faded noise of the television still present, Jisung lifted his head up to look at you. "Just so you know, if you want my lips on any piece of you, I'm more than willing to appease you,” he said suddenly.

Your mouth dropped.

"And my willingness to comply extends to my hands, my fingers, and my dic-”

"Oh, my gosh," you cut him off. “You could’ve just said you were horny instead of listing all your… services.”

"Services?" He tipped his head toward you. "That sounds so dirty."

“Jisung.”

“Yes?”

"You're so annoying." You sighed, obviously frustrated by him.

He lightly smirked, "What? How?" You gave him a look. “So annoying, that you wouldn't walk straight the next day? Or, so annoying that you want me to get off of you?”

You couldn't help but feel the familiar chills run down your back and hit you ten times harder. Suddenly you were too desperate for his touch and taste in a matter of seconds. Desperate enough that your inner thighs begged for a kiss and you wanted his lips to make it rain.

"What's with the weird eyes? Relax, I was joking," he laughed and began to lift himself from your body.

You pulled him back on you almost immediately, "I was just thinking about how big you are."

You briefly glanced down at your joined hands. He carefully stroked the length of your palm with his thumb. And when you looked at each other again, his eyes were a little darker.

"Yeah? I'll fit you just right."

Now guiding your hand to rest over his hard-on, you felt the entire length of him. He let you, of course, but still kept a distance probably in an attempt to tease you. It was bothersome.

So you took it upon yourself and kissed your way up to the corner of his lips, and he finally turned his head and swallowed your sigh in his mouth.

The kiss was wet and rough, maybe a little annoyed. Your tongue slid against his, and a flame pulsed to life in your lower belly. Goosebumps scattered your skin and you pressed your thighs together. 

You looked over your shoulder at his bedroom. It was so close it would take maybe a few big strides to be pushed back down onto his mattress. His tongue could be on your skin in under thirty seconds.

"If you're going to fit me so well, show me then.”

He nipped your bottom lip, "I will."

In a matter of seconds, the both of you stumbled into his room, making sure to close and lock the door behind you. Minho would probably be home soon so the two of you needed to be careful.

"Kiss me," he whispered and that was all it took for you to kiss him like every fiber of your being was dying, and he was your medicine. And oh did it feel like it, because suddenly, you were more alive. You felt stronger. You consumed him like a drug, inhaling and exhaling.

People made mistakes. They kissed the wrong people and pretended to be okay. They would do anything to distract their hearts, and they would do anything to deviate it from missing someone. 

Was that what you both were doing? Surely, that was the case...

There was no doubt that Jisung had this extraordinary energy about him that consumed and calmed you all at once. The way he dismantled your defenses and challenged you at every turn helped you to become a stronger and more passionate person. And despite your resistance to admitting it, you felt capable of anything around him and couldn't help but believe that he brought out your best self.

He brought out the best in you, and you didn't mean better manners, or a sense of maturity, or whatever else this tired world expected of you. You meant that he just made you want to climb roofs, run wild, and act inappropriately, take risks, and pursue your dreams with passion and integrity. 

Around him, you were living.

And to him, you were not just the two a.m. thoughts when he was alone in his bed. You were the three p.m. laughs when he was busy with his friends, the six p.m. dinner when he was in the kitchen, and the ten p.m. songs when he was writing new lyrics. You were always on his mind.

You were the most beautiful thing he’d ever felt, and he was convinced you’d remain the most beautiful thing he’d ever feel. Did you know how limiting that was? 

To think at such a ripe young age he’d experience the most exhilarating person he’d ever meet, and he’d spend the rest of his life just… settling. To think he tasted the most natural rawest form of sugar and everything else would be refined and synthetic. 

That nothing beyond this moment would add up. That all the years beyond him could not combine themselves to be sweeter than you.

He grabbed the back of your neck and then kissed you deeper and slower. He kissed you until your heartbeat continued to throb between your legs. A frenzy burned through your blood. 

You pressed your body to him, tracing your nails down his clothed stomach, and tugged at the belt loop of his pants. He made a rough sound in his throat, but his lips began to slow down against yours. 

When you realized he was pulling away, you moaned in frustration. 

His thumb brushed over your mouth. "Are you sure you're in love with Hwang Hyunjin?" His tone was ridiculing and teasing. 

"I am," you protested trying to close the distance between your lips again. 

You were surely acting like it, he wondered. He stifled a light laugh and you could feel the coolness of his breath against your face. “Then tell him.”

And it wasn't until later that night he regretted even bringing Hyunjin up. He was prepared for what was to come, but it still hurt.

The both of you lay in Jisung’s disheveled sheets, finally clothed again. 

"Jisung?" You voiced out, your fingers traced his arm lazily and you were trying to fight off the heavy slumber you felt dawn over you.

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever regretted it?" You asked.

He paused for a moment. “Regretted what?”

“You know… kissing me… sleeping with me. All of it.”

"Of course not," he stated. Even though he wasn't too sure what the truth wholly was. No matter how happy you made him, he believed that there would always be a part of him that kind of regretted everything. "Why would you even think that?" 

You shrugged and settled your head on his shoulder. "I—I’m not sure. I guess it’s just—" 

That night you let him see what made your world spin. And for you, those were your dreams. 

But not just any dreams—dreams about love and passion. You shared with him your words and your feelings. There were quotes, stories, and hopes. All the inner workings of your mind were captured in these dreams. Dreaming about the boy you loved was the only thing that kept you sane. 

You turned Hyunjin into a metaphor and thought of him as everything from a drug to a hurricane.

And there you laid, legs entangled, speaking about a boy that you loved again to another who struggled to cope with his own feelings. Your eyes glistened as you spoke of Hyunjin. You spoke about him like he would move mountains for you. 

But Jisung, he would've moved mountains for you too. You didn't know that though. You would never know that. Because as he gazed at the galaxies in your eyes like star watching was one of his favorite things to do, you were too lost in your thoughts of another to notice anything. 

You loved Hyunjin’s everything just like Jisung did—but with you. He guessed, the only difference was that he knew you wouldn't have chosen him.

So that night, you smiled and leaned on Jisung’s shoulder, half-clothed, as you told him your masterpiece. It was breathtaking. It was you—undeniably you. 

You giggled and turned to him and placed your finger against his lips—and all he could think about was what it would've felt like to have you say all these things about him. 

But then you said, "I want to tell him." Your voice was so quiet and he realized just how still the whole world felt as your breaths became the same.

His heart stopped. “Oh.” He didn't expect you to take to his advice from earlier. It happened in the heat of the moment and he wasn't thinking straight. It was a joke. And part of him began to hope that you were joking with him too, calling the whole thing off—to take it back right now. 

“Well,” he scratched the back of his head, “He better not be an idiot. I hope he knows he’s got something special.”

Jisung wouldn’t show it, and he really hoped you couldn’t tell either, but it felt like a ton of bricks were laid perfectly on top of his heart. 

You laughed weakly as you still felt tired. "It’s just—” You were stuck over how to ask him. “How do you know when it's over though? That it wouldn’t work out?"

Sleep crept up to your eyes and you closed them, letting them rest. “Just for a moment,” you told yourself. 

The boy beside you heard your breaths get heavier and gazed down to see that you had fallen asleep before he could even answer. 

A sad smile crept onto his lips and he softly pressed a kiss to your temple. 

"It's in the silence.”

The last dance practice for the semester had just come to an end and you were in between the idea of either throwing up your lunch or just running away forever. Neither seemed really plausible though considering you actually enjoyed your lunch and you had your last final tomorrow, so you needed to be present. 

Either way, you were nearly about to defy all things appropriate and dissipate with good reason, of course.

Confessing. You nearly struggled to breathe for a moment. It shouldn't be too hard. Hyunjin had to feel something for you, right? After all, you both had been through together—all the memories—he had to. 

Before, it sounded insane to even contemplate, but your mind otherwise convinced itself that something was definitely there. All the talks, laughs, glances across the rooms—something had to be there.

And as much as you wanted to call it bluff just so it wouldn't get your hopes up too much for when the truth came out, you couldn't bring yourself to do so. No matter how many times you fell into your thoughts, they all somehow reminded you about everything beautiful that came along with him—Hyunjin.

His soft skin, his scent, the crescents in his eyes that shined a bit too much it was almost blinding. He was endearing and captivating, and everything you had ever wanted. Surely, the most exquisite in human form. 

He had to feel the same.

You found yourself outside of the dance studio knowing who was waiting behind the door, and you shuttered at the thought of leaving the room either the happiest girl in the world or the saddest. 

You didn't want to sound too selfish, but you wanted him all to yourself. And it was with that desire, you felt the need to confess. 

Sure, your late-night conversation with Jisung somehow, someway, made you actually want to pursue it. A part of you was bluffing when you told him that you would do it—you were half asleep in fact. You were hoping for your friend to talk you out of it—out of the so-called crazy idea—but he didn't.

And now that you were separated from Hyunjin by only a door, you couldn't help but want to take the easy way out of it, which was simply just leaving.

But you were bound to tell him at some point, regardless of Jisung’s input—regardless of your nerves and lack of confidence.

Well, that’s what you liked to believe anyway. You just didn't expect it to be so soon.

You hesitantly opened the door, walking in to be greeted by the boy that you couldn't ever stop thinking about. Although practice had already concluded a while ago, he was still in the middle of the empty studio in the midst of practicing. You wanted to simply melt onto the ground as you locked eyes through the mirror. 

He was a symbol of your weakness.

He didn't have to do anything to make you fall for him, and you didn't fall for him because of what he could or couldn't do for you. You fell for him simply because he was unapologetically himself—you fell for him for everything he was and everything he was not. 

He was so perfectly flawed, but also perfectly himself. 

He turned around to face you, "Y/N?"

You were still by the door, scared to fully make your way into the room. "Hey..." Your eyes trailed him as he headed towards his bag.

"What are you doing here?" He grabbed a water bottle from inside. It gave you enough time to make your way to him, slowly, at your own pace. He took a long sip, parting from the bottle with a soft smile. “I thought you were studying for your exam.”

You exhaled lightly, letting out a breathy laugh. "Yeah, I was going to."

He placed the clear bottle back into his bag and peered over at you. Slightly knitting his eyebrows together, he refocused his attention back toward you. “Do you want me to help you?”

“Huh? No, no… that’s okay.”

“Are you sure? I’m just messing around in here before the studio closed for the semester but I can make some time—”

You shook your head, “Jinnie. I…” Your train of thought was faulted by the look in his eyes. He waited for you to finish but he distracted you. Was he aware of how you just couldn't speak anymore?

You just didn't understand how anybody could look the way that he did. He had the prettiest eyes and the warmest yet most killer stare. You wanted answers. You wanted him to take accountability for it—for everything. 

But quite frankly, you didn’t even think he would ever because he probably didn't know it.

"I... I just wanted to talk to you about something,” you finished quietly. 

Hyunjin grew quite curious and it was evident in the way his eyebrows softened at your tone. He nodded before sitting on the ground and patting the spot beside him for you to join him. You sat down, both of your bodies parallel to each other.

You sighed.

He wasn't sure what direction you were headed in. Something was clearly bothering you. Many thoughts flooded into his mind as he listed different possible explanations that could've left you this way. 

“Is everything okay?” 

"Do you know what you do to me?" You abruptly stated as the butterflies in your stomach began to erupt—so much that they could've lifted you up. 

He stopped his mind from wandering further and froze. This was what was happening? 

You shouldn't be doing this. 

"I get lost in your eyes, all the time actually—and whenever I hear your name I get tripped out so easily..." 

Were you making a fool out of yourself? You really didn't know. Your mouth was just moving on its own and you lacked control. 

"—And you'd always look into my eyes and show this wide grin. I always asked why you did it, but you’d shake your head and ignore the question." You tried your best to avoid his piercing eye contact. "Maybe that's why I fell for you."

You finally met his gaze but he broke it away almost immediately. That was when you felt your heart shatter into a million little pieces like a sheet of glass. 

You thought that somehow, someway, you were getting closer to the truth and knew it. You see, deep down, a part of you always knew that nothing would really happen between the both of you. You believed that maybe those types of things were only possible in a world you could only possibly dream of. 

Surely, Hyunjin seemed to just be the person of your dreams... so much so, you felt sorry that you fell. You were so sorry. Sorry that despite his refusal to look at you now, you still found his soul absolutely enchanting, fascinating, and breathtakingly beautiful.

It took him a minute before taking a deep sigh, "Y/N."

You always dreamt of all the moments you were never going to have. You guessed that this was just your way of dealing with the fact that he didn't want you—and he probably never will. And despite how badly you wanted him to reciprocate your feelings, what you both had was ruined. 

And so you came up with a separate reality in which everything was okay, where he was by your side and where he finally would fall.

Hyunjin wanted to tell you that he knew your favorite color and your favorite book and the way you’d always talk to yourself whenever you got annoyed. He wanted to tell you that he prided himself in the fact that he memorized the way your mouth would curve into a smile. 

He wanted to tell you that he would be there for you on the bad days too. He wanted to continue to hear you laugh and see your eyes glow in gold, just to know that you were happy.  

And he really wanted to tell you too that you had completely captivated him—but instead, he sympathetically looked at you, his eyes finally meeting yours once again.

He knew that you both couldn't be together because he was supposed to be in love with someone else, and well because, someone else had fallen for you too. 

Hyunjin noticed it for the first time a couple of months back that Jisung was in love with you. 

He nearly called himself stupid when he realized it. How could he have been so blind? So oblivious to everything. How could no one else realize that when you walked into the room, Jisung would suck in his breath at the very sight of you? 

There was that silence. The kind of silence Jisung spoke about. You weren’t too sure if you imagined him saying it but it didn't hurt any less.

"I-I’m sorry—I don't know why I just said that.” You were beginning to panic. 

He looked over at you, tracing every feature of your face like he had a million times before, and his heart began to beat to the rhythm of your short breaths. He turned away. “We can’t do this. I…”

This all could've been easily solved if he had brought himself to confess that he felt something for you. But he couldn't. 

It made sense to him—it all did. How you’d always admire him silently when he wasn't looking. He always saw something in your eyes when he did catch you staring though; a shine of wonder. 

If only you knew how much those little moments mattered to him too. 

But now you were left confused and heartbroken by the boy who always told you that you were amazing, but seemingly enough, wasn't good enough to commit to.

"We started this at a strange time in my life,” Hyunjin said softly. “I was broken and sad and in serious need of someone to listen. I was that guy that needed someone by his side to feel validated. And you were beautiful and charming and most importantly broken too.” 

You hated how you felt like shit and you hated how he looked at you—as if he felt bad for you. 

He sighed, “I didn't realize you were just as damaged as me when I met you. But that's why we clicked, wasn't it? I was messed up over a girl—over life—and you were the one constant that made me feel sane.”

Your breathing stilled. Messed up over a girl? Until it clicked. “Bora?”

He looked at you with concern, as if he never meant to hurt you the way that he did.

“I still love her Y/N.”

It was silent for a moment before your voice broke, "Still?”

Jisung hadn't told you? Hyunjin wondered to himself. He had expected Jisung to tell you about her the second she showed up that night at the club and also at the party.

You on the other hand wished you could rid yourself of the parts of you that beg for understanding. The parts of you that desire an answer to the question, “Why did you choose her over me?” Because there was no real answer. It was never about you. He simply chose to be with her. You were an innocent casualty. 

But still, you were always going to love him more, weren't you?

Words didn't seem easy anymore to Hyunjin. Everything he’d said and will continue to say would only worsen everything. “I—uh, I met her when I was away and I just… We just fell in love and—I’m sorry.” He felt ashamed.

“Why are you sorry?” You quickly refuted. “You can’t help how you feel.” You cleared your throat, shifting in your seated position. The boy beside you could tell how much the color drained from your cheeks. "It was my fault for getting attached to you," you said and your voice cracked, "both of us knew it wouldn't have worked out anyway.”

His heart stung. 

He wanted to tell you everything that you wanted to hear—to make you happy. To tell you that he felt the same way, unapologetically. But he couldn’t—not when he knew couldn't be the guy you needed him to be.

If he told you that, you would've told him that anything he did would've been enough and begged him to stay. To have him would make you throw away quite literally any sense of morality just because he was who he was, and you loved him because of that. 

Every day you woke up and thought about him, and you hated it. Why did you have to be the one to get so attached? It didn't seem fair.

And it wasn't right—Hyunjin knew that. So he wished that you’d become full of so much happiness that it healed every part of you. There was a whole world out there waiting for you. Great cities and art and music. Genuine beauty, and you could have it all, but without him. 

You guessed, deep down, you both were bound to end, and he would be the one to end it. You just kind of hoped that maybe he would have loved you too—enough to fight against it, you know? 

He pulled you into his chest and you didn't fight it. You were in the process of growing numb. "I care about you Y/N, I will always be here for you,” he assured you while gently running his fingers through your hair. 

Hyunjin was everything you needed, but you weren't that for him. You knew he cared about you, but you also knew that he didn't care enough to try. And yet, you didn't know which was worse.

You should have never texted him that one day that led into another and another and soon became a daily thing, morning and night, to text him and pray he would respond as fast as he did. 

You shouldn't have ever gotten your hopes up as high as you did when Jisung told you there was the slightest chance that Hyunjin was interested in you. You should have never kissed him back that night in the art room; it wouldn’t have led to even more hope. 

Then maybe it wouldn’t hurt this bad.

Hyunjin only wanted you when it was okay for him. You were the second option. You were his backup when he had nothing else to do. You were the one he’d give up for someone else. Easily replaceable. 

His second option.

But knowing this didn't change the fact that now when you pictured him and Bora together, you wondered why it was her instead of you; and when you thought of him holding her hand, you wondered why it was her instead of you; and when you imagined him kissing her lips, and touching her face, and lying in bed beside her at night, you wondered why it was her instead of you.

When you thought of the moment when he chose to share his life with her instead of you, you couldn't help but analyze your components, piece by piece, in an attempt to figure out which fault of yours led him to that choice.

You really wanted to be her. You so badly wanted to be her. 

Yet, tables tended to turn quite quickly on this Earth now that his presence was no longer on your plate, how bitter. And now you were left a mess wondering if you had ever meant anything to him at all.

Letting him hold you, you whispered something that confused him, "No, you don't care. But that's okay."

It didn't take too long for Jisung to get back home that night. 

You had locked yourself in your room for the rest of the evening, hearing Minho come and leave the apartment every so often. You were hurting so badly that you were even desperate enough to sacrifice Minho knowing everything, just so you could cry your heart out and be heard by someone. 

But that was easier said than done. If you had to tell Minho the entire story, it would have opened your wound even more. Plus, if you were being honest, he probably didn't even think that you were home to begin with. Usually, he’d call out for you or knock on your door, but he didn't.

So instead of bringing yourself to his attention, you rather continued to fester in the darkness of your room, trying your best to deal with everything alone. And you were attempting—like really, really trying to do it so you could push the thought of Hyunjin out of your mind. 

But with a knock at your bedroom door, everything was ruined.

You stayed silent for a few moments, looking at the dimly lit white-framed door. 

“Y/N.” Jisung muttered, lightly knocking once more. “What’s going on with you? I’ve been texting you all night.”

You weren't too sure of what to respond with. You hadn't been on your phone since everything happened and you were pretty sure it was still somewhere at the bottom of your school bag.

“I know you're in there, your sneakers are by the front door.”

Wiping your wet nose, you rolled your eyes. He was so stupidly annoying even at a time like this. He’d never let you rest over your damaged sneakers.

You stood from where you sat and walked over to unlock the door for him. As much as you wanted to be alone, there wasn't any reason to hide yourself from Jisung. Not like this—not anymore. He knew everything about you and he’d continue to do so, always.

When you opened the door, he immediately noticed your tear-stained cheeks and his heart dropped. Had you done it?

You tried your best to smile at him. "Hi, Sungie." 

It was so much easier to act like none of it mattered, and to pretend to wear a smile than to confess that your heart was broken from losing someone who was never even yours to begin with. 

But there didn't seem to be a reason to fake it in front of him. He deciphered everything about you within a matter of seconds. He didn't fall for your act and without a word, he engulfed you in a hug.

You didn't resist, instead, letting your body go limp as the boy hugged you. You didn't want to cry anymore, but the feeling of his arms around you made it so fucking hard. You were just so tired and drained.

The both of you stayed like that for what felt like minutes, his hands stroking up and down your back. As much as you were hurting during every moment of it, Jisung felt like his world was crashing down too. Seeing you like this, so quiet, so hidden—you didn’t deserve it.

"It's his loss," he hummed against you. 

Your heart fell for a moment. You lifted your head from against his chest and voiced your concerns quietly. “W-What?” 

He sighed, gently brushing the hair that stuck onto your forehead away. “Hyunjin. It’s his loss.” 

He wanted to tell you—to express to you that you deserved to be chosen undoubtedly over and over and over again—not merely considered. 

Seeing you like this did so much more to him than you could have ever imagined. 

But you wanted to tell Jisung that—to Hyunjin, he didn't lose anything. He just wasn't interested. It was as simple as that. He was good at making people believe that they were more important than they actually were.

Jisung was hesitant when asking, “What happened?” 

You tipped your chin back to look at him fully. “Nothing happened,” you admitted, eventually. You shoved aside your pride and felt the words scorching your tongue. “He just… didn't want me the way that I wanted him.”

You kept telling yourself that if Hyunjin wanted to talk to you—wanted to be with you, he would’ve. It’d only take a second of his time to text you, maybe even to tell you that he had made a mistake and loved you all this time. 

In all honestly, you were disappointed that he occupied your mind and that your heart still jumped whenever you thought about receiving a text or a call hoping that it was him. Simply hoping that he would tell you that he wanted you instead of her.

"And I think he knew," you continued after a while, "It just didn't matter enough for him to care."

Jisung was struggling to keep his composure against you when in reality, he really wanted to give Hyunjin the worst punch in the world for doing this to you. But what did he expect though? His friend had been seeing another girl this entire time, quite frankly, he should’ve told you about Bora to begin with. 

Was this all his own fault then?

He gently grabbed your hands, interlocking his fingers with your own. Your palms were warm—fingers so soft. It was something he always loved. 

He guided the both of you over to your bed to sit. “You know what I see?” For a few moments, he studied you, taking in your frayed tank top and bare legs.

You tilted your head, waiting for him to go on. The moonlight that peered into your room from the window dimly lit the carpet beside your bed. It gave you both just enough light to take in each other.

“I see a beautiful girl with an amazing heart and a corrupted mind,” he said.

Confusion marred your otherwise flawless features. 

He continued, “Thoughts and ideas damaged by broken promises and lies. I see a girl whose mind is constantly battling with her heart because her heart chooses to feel what her mind chooses to ignore.”

To Jisung, you deserved someone who loved you with every single beat of their heart, someone who thought about you constantly, someone who’d spend every minute of every day just wondering what you were doing, where you were, who you were with, and if you were okay. 

You needed someone who could help you reach your dreams and who could protect you from your fears. You needed someone who would treat you with respect, and love every part of you, especially your flaws. 

You should be with someone who could make you happy, really happy, dancing on air happy.

You paused for a short while, unable to figure out what to respond with. He was more than right—you weren't dumb. Your mind could tell wrong from right, but your heart struggled immensely to comprehend that. You really wished it did though. It would have made everything a hundred times easier.

Suddenly, the rain, which had been lightly falling all night, began to pick up in speed. You closed your eyes getting lost in the sound of it, the thought of the cold water against your skin spread peace throughout your body for a moment. 

One of Jisung’s hands remained interlocked with your fingers, and the other was caressed your bare thigh. He held you like you were his lifeline and he was scared to release you.

"You have to let it all go.” He traced his thumb over yours, still moving every so softly to keep your emotions at bay. “The way he kissed you, the way he smelled, the way he touched your waist and pulled you in. You have to try to let it go and you have to try to let him go."

“It’s not that easy, Jisung. I can’t just forget.”

You understood that love wasn't always flowers and chocolates. It wasn't always afternoon cuddles or laughing together at two in the morning. Sometimes it was crying and begging them to stay. 

Sometimes it was screaming at the wall because you heard something you didn't want to hear and a part of you just broke inside. Sometimes it was staying up all night, wondering why you weren't enough. Or it was sometimes self-doubting yourself because you wanted to know what she had that you didn't. 

“I know that,” he mumbled. “I know that it’s hard.”

You see as much as you thought you knew everything about the boy beside you, you didn't.

Jisung was aware that love was sometimes scrubbing your skin at four in the morning in the shower, trying to wash away their smell. Of course, it wasn't fucking easy. Love wasn't always romantic. It was painful and it would sometimes tear you apart.

To him, words were beautiful. To produce them, he allowed his fingers to move about in a rhythmic and rather therapeutic manner. Those movements then delivered his thoughts and emotions into the minds of human beings who couldn't be reached by the sound of his voice. 

He thought it was time for him to start understanding that you were now just one of those people that was out of his reach. He wanted to ask you what it felt like to be told you were perfect in every way and will always be taken care of. 

He wanted to convey the emotions that ripped through someone like himself. He wanted to express the hope and loyalty that was instilled inside him—the kind that was built up wall after wall, only to feel as though they were peacefully torn down by someone like you, who pulled him deeper into your love. 

“I know that it’s hard, Y/N,” he repeated, “and you’re right, it’s hard to forget.” 

You nodded, “If I could I woul—”

He cut you off. “But I just can't do it.” He bursted out, his eyes suddenly began to fill to the brim with tears. 

Your eyes widened at the sight, taken off guard by his abrupt tone and reaction. “What?” 

He shook his head and looked up to keep himself from looking at you. “I just can't watch you love him like that.” 

“Like what?” You asked, cupping his face so he could meet your eyes. You traced in his dark orbs, hoping to quickly find an answer to his unexpected outburst. “What are you talking about?”

Jisung knew you would never look at him the way you did Hyunjin. He felt like he was being selfish with his emotions now.

“Like he’s everything you ever wanted.”

And suddenly now, while you both stared at each other at that very second, he couldn't take it anymore. He wanted more, he wanted more than just looks and brushes of arms and legs and the stupid endless teasing and meaningless fucking on your end. 

He wanted to taste your lips and your neck and everything, again, like always. But this time, he wanted to pull you in and never let you go.

"I'm in love with you," he blurted out. "I’ve been for all my life, actually, but you've never noticed because you never paid attention."

Your heart dropped nearly twenty stories and you felt lightheaded. He could feel your body tense up as you sat still, slowly struggling to breathe properly. 

"I have never loved anyone as I love you." He continued, confessing. Was there a chance you could believe him this time? "I can't put it into words—there are none that come close to expressing how I feel."

You shook your head, loosening your grip against his palm and removing his hand from your leg. “Jisung, stop it. You don’t love me—”

This had to be a joke. Just like when he said it before on the rooftop—yeah, that's what it was. He saw you in your emotional state and thought this would be a funny prank to get you to laugh, right? You were still very upset from earlier so he should've expected you to not—hmm, maybe if he pulled this stunt again next week, you would’ve cracked a laugh from it.

Your mind was very convincing to you.

“I love you!” He shouted, the impact of his words lost on you. 

“Be fucking for real.” You still weren't taking him seriously. “This isn't funny.”

“Funny? I have loved you since the day I met you, and since then, you’ve been driving me crazy Y/N. My thoughts can't fucking move without constantly being drawn back to you.” Hand-dropping, his voice cracked as he continued. “You’re it.” 

You were his world. But he wasn't yours, and he would never be.

He proceeded to pour his heart out, unable to realize what damage he was creating while doing so. "It’s you. It’s always been you.” 

He was so vulnerable, and you tried your best to understand how suddenly, in a matter of seconds, his heart was in your hands. 

“I can’t describe it anymore, it is you. You are the only one that I will ever want. I belong with you. You are my home. I look at you, and somehow I can see us fifty years from now on the front porch of some old house in the middle of nowhere and we're together.”  

You stayed silent as everything ever good in your life came crashing down on you. This didn't sound like a joke anymore. And suddenly, just by searching his dark eyes from where you sat, the countless times he tried to express to you of his endless love began to show. Each time he poured his heart out to you, you never noticed. 

He paused to take a breath. “And as pathetic as it sounds, I need you. You are the only thing that matters to me. You are my only constant. You are my good."

“No, no, no. You must be confused.” You shook your head for what seemed like forever. “Please just talk to me tomorrow—”

You attempted to stand up in an attempt to open your door so he could leave but he grabbed your arm. “What?” His voice broke. You were starting to make him feel like a crazy person.

You sat back on your bed with broken stars in your eyes and burnt promises on your tongue, and you told him after a brief pause, “Jisung, you and I both know that your life would be so much easier without me.” 

He continued to sit by your side, taking your hand into his like before. He was close enough that your arms and hips and legs still touched and he said, “But not better.”

By now, your eyes were looking around at everything except his. In some measure, you wanted to cut open his mind and let yourself into the secret world he had created just for you, but, you were scared of what you would find. 

This wasn't what you had expected. It wasn't anything you could have ever imagined. Because he tried to be poetic in the way that he loved you, but it was so passionate he couldn't string words together in any way that made sense to you.

So there it was; the silence.

You wanted to speak—to answer—but words couldn't formulate your emotions the same way he couldn't describe the way it felt to have his heart ripped to pieces.

During the haunting stillness, Jisung finally figured out why it hurt so much. He was stuck in limbo, the liminal space between what you both were and whatever came next. It wasn't good for either of you.

Sure, he attempted to move on after listening to Chan’s advice but he couldn’t. It took him days of staring at the ceiling at four in the morning and numerous discussions with himself before he woke up one morning and decided that he wanted you still.

However, he knew, logically, that what you both had was done now; your silence is more than enough proof.

But he couldn't help but wonder if this time, the silence—your silence—fostered hope, that small "what-if" in the back of his mind. And even the smallest glimpse of hope was enough to keep him here in front of you, trapped in this uncertainty.

Despite how bewildered you still were, you gingerly pushed the fallen strands of hair from his eyes. He was still your best friend. Of course, you loved him. You’d always love him. 

And he was aware that he had always been just your boy friend you’d come to whenever you needed sympathy or company. Not your boyfriend, but your friend that was a boy.

“I just—I just don't deserve you,” you finally whispered. 

Of course, in a sense, he did deserve so, so much better, but all he wanted was you. He knew that he should have refrained from doing anything with you. He was doing just fine before… everything—before you came back into his life as the person he loved. 

Because loving you now was just so fucking destroying.

He opened his mouth to tell you what you didn't want to hear, but you shook your head, not letting him speak. 

Tears burned your eyes, “No, Jisung. I don't. You're so amazing and caring and someone like me doesn't deserve someone like you,” you assured him, his grip tightened around your hand. 

Please, don’t do this.

He was too pure and too sweet to love you.

Nevertheless, he wanted you to know everything. That he’d still love you through every emotional part of the roller coaster you had brought into his life. He loved you on the days that you were pleasant and kind and also on the days you were unrecognizable to him. 

He loved you through changing circumstances and the rapid movement of time. He was loving you now, even when you decided that you didn't love him. 

"I don't care," he said and he didn’t. He brought himself closer to your lips. "Do you even know?" He drew back for an instant, his eyebrows knit together. "Do you know what it's like around you? I can't..." He ran one hand through his hair and stared at you. "I can't breathe whenever you're around."

He was just so deeply in love with you, but you never cared to notice. You always cared about another boy, and not the one that mattered. He loved you so much and you took it for granted. You always went crying to him about your problems, and the boy beside you always lit himself on fire to keep you warm. 

And judging by the way you treated him, it was only a matter of time before his flame went out.

“Why didn't you tell me before?” You asked him, your eyes darted wildly across his although your vision was more than blurry by now. “You were my best friend.” 

His lips and hands shook at the sound of the cold rain pounding against your window, and his stomach turned because, at once, he struggled to find air to breathe. 

What was he supposed to tell you? That you weren't just a best friend to him? That his soul ached for you every time he wasn't busy talking? That he couldn't bear to hear you talk about him in a way that got his hopes up? 

Or was it that he couldn't watch you love Hyunjin the way you were supposed to love him?

“I couldn't bring myself to tell you,” he resulted in saying.

“Why? Because of who—Hyunjin?” You searched for an understanding. It took him a while before he nodded hesitantly at your question, afraid of how you’d take it. “But this goes way farther back than Hyunjin. You had so many years to tell me—to be honest with me.”

It was easier then. 

Before, Jisung hadn't touched you, he hadn't kissed you, he hadn't done nearly enough stuff with you. It was completely different now and he didn't think you understood that.

“I know but—”

 “Do you even know what Hyunjin said?” You continued to ask, cutting him off.

Suddenly it felt like a crime to look into your gaze. Jisung was avoiding it like a plague.

“This entire time, he had been in love with another girl,” you confessed, wincing as you relived yourself swallowing the biggest pill ever imaginable. It cut your throat and nearly made you bleed out. You couldn't believe what you were saying. 

“Bora?” His eyes finally snapped over to yours, widening. “H-He told you about her?”

You nodded, feeling the tears you’d been failing to desperately keep in, continue to roll down. “Yes, and I was so stupid and blind and I just wanted to cry and cry and cry—so I just need you to tell me the truth,” you sobbed. “I can’t do this anymore.”

You didn't want secrets anymore. You couldn't even begin to understand how your best friend had been in love with you for so many years. It didn't seem real. You didn't want to accept it.

But somehow, someway, you both were in love, he was so sure of it.

It hadn't been processed to you yet that Jisung had said the girl's name—Bora—ever so immediately as he did. You didn't think much about it until you could see the look of shame wash down on his face.

He had been keeping the information between Hyunjin and Bora from you for how long? It was pitiful and downright unacceptable considering you were his best friend. How could he tell you now?

But you wanted honesty, right? You wanted to know everything.

“If you want to know the truth,” he still couldn't even look at you anymore, “I’ve known about their… situation.”

He could hear the breath you sucked in quietly. You shook your head, unable to wrap your mind around his confession. “No, you didn't.”

Please, please, please. This couldn't be true. Please.

“Yes—”

“No. You didn't know Jisung. You couldn't have known.” You were still so adamant about not believing him. None of this was supposed to happen. He didn't know—there was no way he had known about Hyunjin and Bora this entire time. “You also can't love me, it’s not possible.”

He grabbed your chin, holding you firmly, and stared into your vacant eyes. “Please, why are you doing this? Why don’t you believe me?” He whispered to you like two children shading a secret.

You pushed his hand away, standing up from where you were sitting. “You didn't fucking make me look stupid for all these months—you didn't make me look stupid for all these years. Jisung, tell me that you didn't.” You began to break down.

You both were in love, he was so sure of it. 

“I couldn't help it. I couldn't help it, I'm sorry.” He couldn't even begin to express the guilt and the pain he was experiencing. He didn't even dare to value them either. You were all he could see. 

This was when he realized that this was a mistake.

He stood and attempted to hold your hand again, to which you took a step back. He wanted it to go back to how it was. “Please understand that I was in pain,” the words were now being pulled up from his throat like a clown’s handkerchief trick, but he was choking, “I never meant to ruin things. I never meant to ruin us.”

Part of you wanted to forgive him. You were so heartbroken because you not only lost the boy you loved earlier, but also your best friend tonight.

You knew that Jisung wasn't a selfish person, and he probably had his reasons. You wanted to see the brighter side of everything but you couldn't. Not now anyway. Not when he had told you his true feelings that he had kept a secret for so long. 

It felt as if your whole life with him had been a lie.

But he was your best friend and even if you tried with all your heart, you could never fully hate him. So the other part of you wanted to tell him that you loved him back so badly, even if it wasn't the truth. You wanted to tell this boy who you knew would give you the world if you asked, that his feelings were reciprocated, but they weren't. 

You believed that maybe could’ve been, though. They could’ve been if you weren't so hung up on someone that didn't love you. 

And you wanted to tell him that, but you thought it would’ve hurt even more.

You finally took the first step closer to him to hold his hand, just as he tried before. It was what he wanted right? He let you.

It was funny how something that should’ve felt so good could feel so bad when the circumstances weren't right. And your circumstances were definitely not right. But you squeezed his hand anyway, letting him know that you were feeling exactly what he was feeling, and you were just as torn as he was. 

Jisung dropped his forehead against yours, your eyes closing while you both just silently breathed through whatever this moment was. You could feel everything he was not saying. 

You could even somehow feel the kiss he wasn't giving you. But if you both slipped back into the moment you shared last night or even the night before, it would’ve ripped his wound open even wider, until that was all he was. 

And as much as he wanted to deny it, he knew just as much as you did that this wasn't a good idea.

So Jisung stood there, defeated, trying to break the silence, but secretly afraid that if he stayed he’d only break everything more.

With your features blurring past his closed eyes, just like how he had memorized you his entire life, he breathed out. “I’m sorry—I don't think I was supposed to tell you any of that.”

let me know your thoughts about this chapter! i’m interested to hear your opinions :) stay healthy <3

masterlist

taglist: (pls lmk if i missed you or if ur interested!)

@hyynee @keilykat @sikebishes @soobin-chois​ ​ @chxrry-chris @0x1lovesong1 @drhsthl @rindomo @ooshanaya

[lolahaurisfw]

✎ Introduction ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Here i'll only be taking requests for fluff, platonic, and angst! Reqs are always open like usual too, and you can request as much as you want and as detailed as you want! i just get to things when i can/want to.

Anon's: None Yet

Other Accounts: @lolas-favfics @lolamultifandom @lolahauri 🔞

AO3: Here

-> MASTERLIST <-

DNI: Map, Zoo, Pro-Para, Pro-Ana, TERF, Zionist, Bigots, Discourse Blogs. Block me if you don't agree. ❤���🖤🤍💚

What I'm Willing To Write:

Fluff, angst, platonic, hurt/comfort.

HC's, one shots, short multi-chapter fics, imagines/drabbles.

Canon-friendly, AU's, Canon Divergence, Out of Character.

Ch x Ch / Ch x Reader / Ch x OC / Poly Ships of any kind.

F/F, M/M, F/M, GN/F, GN/M, Poly Ships of any kind.

Fictional Other (F/O) Imagines: +18, no names, they/them only.

Now that that's out of the way, here's the list of fandoms and characters i'm familiar with and will happily take requests on! (you can request others from these fandoms, but it will prob take me longer)

Adventure Time/Fiona & Cake: PB, Marceline, Marshall Lee, Winter King, Candy Queen, Simon, Ice King, Fiona.

Attack On Titan: Armin, Eren, Mikasa, Sasha, Levi, Hanji, Annie, Historia, Reiner, Erwin, Ymir. 

Avatar: Jake, Neytiri.

Batman Begins Triology: Batman, Catwoman, Bane, Joker, Scarecrow.

Bee & Puppycat: Bee, Deckard, Cass, Toast.

BigBang Theory: Raj, Leonard, Penny, Amy.

Black Dynamite: Honeybee, Black Dynamite.

BNA: Michiru, Shirou.

Bob’s Burgers: Bob, Linda.

Breaking Bad: Jesse, Skylar.

Call of Duty: Konig, Ghost, Mace, Keegan, Krueger, Valeria, Farah.

Creepypasta: Jeff, Jane, Ben, Toby, EJ, LJ, Slenderman, Splendorman, Clockwork, Kate, Masky, Hoodie,

Desperate Housewives: Bree, Gabi, Edie, Lynette, Carlos, John.

Dirty Dancing: Johnny, Baby.

Earth Girls Are Easy: Mac, Zeebo, Wiploc, Valerie.

Elemental: Wade, Ember.

Encanto: Isabela, Bruno, Dolores, Julieta.

FNAF Movie: Vanessa, Mike, William/Steve.

Frozen: Elsa, Anna, Kristoff.

Futurama: Leela, Fry, Amy, Bender.

Gravity Falls: Ford, Stan, Soos, Melody, Giffany, Bill.

Jane The Virgin: Jane, Michael, Petra, Luisa, Rose, Rogelio, Xiomara.

Jurassic Park (1993): Ian Malcolm, Ellie Sattler.

Jujutsu Kaisen: Gojo, Choso, Nanami, Sukuna.

King of the Hill: Hank, Peggy, Luane, Nancy, Dale, Khan, Min, John Redcorn.

Lisa Frankenstein: Lisa, Creature, Taffy.

Little Mermaid (2022): Ariel, Eric.

MHA: Dabi, Hawks, Aizawa.

Moon Knight: Moon System, Layla, Khonshu.

National Treasure: Benjamin, Riley.

Nintendo: Link, Zelda, Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, Luigi, Bowser, Waluigi.

Norbit: Rasputia, Norbit.

Princess & The Frog: Tiana, Lottie, Naveen, Shadow Man.

Ratatouille: Colette, Linguini. 

Regular Show: Mordecai, Margret, Eileen, CJ, Benson.

Resident Evil: Karl Heisenberg, Carlos Oiliveria, Lady Dimitrescu.

Rick and Morty: Rick, Jerry, Beth, Doofus Rick.

Riverdale: FP Jones, Hiram.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: Kim, Ramona, Gideon, Wallace.

Serial Mom: Chip, Beverly.

Silverado: Slick, Rae, Mal, Paden.

Shallow Hal: Rosemary, Hal.

Shameless: Lip, Fiona, Kev, V.

SheRa (2018): All Adults.

Sherlock (2010): Sherlock, John Watson.

Slashers & DBD: Brahms, Ghostface, Michael Myers, Jason Vorhees, Pyramid Head, The Spirit, Huntress, Trapper, Wraith, Trickster, Pearl, Jennifer Check, Stu Matcher, Billy Loomis, Tiffany Valentine, Patrick Batmeman, Thomas Hewitt, Vincent Sinclair, Eric Draven, The Artist, Amanda Young.

Spiderverse: Miguel, Jessica Drew.

Spongebob: Dennis, Man Ray.

Squid Games: Gi-Hun, Sae-Byeok, Ali, Sang Woo.

Steven Universe: Garnet, Amethyst, Peridot, Lapis, Jasper, Blue Diamond, Rose, Greg.

Stranger Things: Robin, Billy Eddie, Chrissy, Hopper.

Supernatural: Sam, Dean, Castiel.

Super Store: Amy, Jonah, Dina, Garrett, Cheyenne.

Tangled: Flynn, Rapunzel, Mother Gothell.

The Batman (2022): Batman, Riddler.

The Breakfast Club: John Bender, Allison Reynolds.

The Nanny: C.C, Fran, Maxwell.

Total Drama Island: S1 Contestants, Chris, Chef, Blainley.

Triple Frontier: Frankie, Santiago.

Turning Red: Ming Lee, Jin Lee.

Twilight: Edward, Carlisle, Alice, Charlie.

WWE: Rhea Ripley, Roman Reigns.

YOU: Beck, Joe, Peach, Love.

Young Sheldon: Mary, Connie.

Abel Morales (A Most Violent Year)

Astarion (Baulder’s Gate 3)

Babbo Natale (Violent Night)

Barbie (Barbie 2023)

Basil Stitt (Lightning Face)

Beverly Goldberg (The Goldbergs)

Bruce (Beyond Therapy)

Charles Ingalls (Little House on the Praire)

Charlie Dompler (Smiling Friends)

Chel (Road to El Dorado)

Dale Kobble (Longlegs)

Dan Conner (Rosanne)

David Levinson (Independence Day)

Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)

Doug Remer (Baseketball)

Duke Leto Atreides (Dune)

Fezzik (Princess Bride)

Francine (American Dad)

Fujimoto (Ponyo)

Georgia Miller (Ginny & Georgia)

Jack Harrison (Translyvania 6-5000)

Jackson Rippner (Red Eye)

Jon Arbuckle (Garfield 2024)

John Doe (John Doe Game)

Jonathan Levy (Scenes from a Marriage)

John Wick (John Wick 4)

King Baldwin (Kingdom of Heaven)

Kitten (Breakfast on Pluto)

Laurent LeClaire (In Secret)

Linda Gunderson (Rio)

Llewyn Davis (Inside Lleywn Davis)

Master Chief (Halo)

Mike (5lbs of Pressure)

Moe Doodle (Doodle Bops)

Nani Palekai (Lilo & Stitch)

Nathan Bateman (Ex Machina)

Outcome-3 (The Bourne Legacy)

Orestes (Agora)

Paul Blart (Paul Blart: Mall Cop)

Paul Cable (Last Stand at Saber River)

Peggy Bundy (Married With Children)

Peter Mitchell (3 Men & A Baby)

Poe Dameron (Star Wars)

Prince John (Robin Hood 2010)

Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd (Top Gun: Maverick)

Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)

Shiv (Pu-239)

Stanley Ipkiss (The Mask)

Star-Lord (Gaurdians of the Galaxy)

Tate Langdon (AHS: Murder House)

The Janitor (Willy’s Wonderland)

Thomas Magnum (Magnum, P.I 1980)

William Tell (The Card Counter)

[stilemawillow]

MTIJ | Ch.30 City of Dumbassery, Here I Come

|mtij masterlist|

pairing: levi ackerman x reader

word count: 13k

summary: a girl with a variety of hidden complexes has to live with a french asshole for nine months. easy? on the surface. problematic? definitely. romantic? not too much, or at least they’d make it a point to say so everytime when asked. the end? please, their dynamic isn’t as simple as that.

warnings: nsfw content; mentions of nudity; virginity loss; oral sex (f! receiving); protected sex; explicit sexual content; reader discretion advised

A hundred-dollar question: where do people go to blow off steam when their interns weren’t back back from their vacation yet? First and foremost, never City of Dumbassery as it’s not a place for relaxation. I might’ve been its main population these days, but I fancied myself a rational person capable of making the right choices when needed. Pretend you’re not looking at my romantic history. The right choice, however, wasn’t always right in the heat of the moment, only in perspective, so we begin this scene with me, seated on Erwin Smith’s couch with Hanji Zoe and a cup of coffee.

For more information on the right-est choice I made as of late, keep watching. Or as asshole-me insists on promoting: Come see the prequel to the biggest fuck-up of this girl’s life. I, though oblivious to its imminent eventuation at the point where we start, had a vague notion of what I wanted the next few days to look like. Let’s just say, humourlessly enough, that my wildest dreams came nowhere close to the reality that would take place.

“I’m sorry about last time, (Y/N). I didn’t know about you and Eren.” Hanji’s contrite apology made my smile widen as I lifted the cup of coffee to my lips. Dismissing the fact she brought the topic right back with the intention to make amends, Hanji was a good person and clearly sincere in her ways of regarding me. Kindness was one thing, but this woman’s pure cordiality was admirable.

“It’s not a problem. I could tell it wasn’t your intention to hurt me.” The corner of my mouth twitched in self-reproach at the manipulative bullshit I let slip. Instantly, I corrected: “Not that I was hurt.” If it’d been Annie, she wouldn’t straight-up laughed. Had it been Levi, he would’ve stared at me like I was dumb for thinking him dumb enough to buy it. But this was Hanji and she just smiled reassuringly.

“You can share if you want to. That’s what I’m here for with all my friends,” she offered. It sounded tempting but I couldn’t allow myself that kind of openness yet. Annie was, as always, the only person who knew the full story in all its repulsive glory but if I wanted to preserve (Levi’s privacy) my reputation, I couldn’t tell the whole thing here. The whole thing – look at me dodging the serious parts in an attempt to make myself feel better. I couldn’t tell Hanji about my intoxicated attempt to sleep with her friend, who gave dubious if any consent. Sounded appropriately disgusting like this.

“Mike and Erwin seem like they lead pretty decent lives, though.” Redirecting the topic, ignoring everything weird, dismissing all as a dirty scheme meant to humiliate me – a methodical step-by-step guide on how to be a paranoid bitch. It would’ve been my equivalent of the Bible if I weren’t an atheist. Even if I regularly used OMG, if I had to pick a fictional character to believe was real, at least I’d pick one from a book with a legit author – something by King, Thackeray, Hemingway, Tolkien, Orwell or Hawthorne. Following that train of thought, I might as well start worshipping Mickey Mouse – it’d do me more good than the big guy with the beard who loves me but would make me suffer for all eternity for stepping out of line once. I did it a lot.

“It wasn’t always like that. Not to mention Levi was stuck in the gutter a month back.” Hanji’s words snapped me out of my daze. “I know I told you to wait for him, but I don’t trust him, so make sure you keep this conversation a secret,” she warned while leaning forward as if afraid the walls would hear. The suspense, though exaggerated and a bit comical, made me put down my coffee. “So, you know how Petra is mentioned here and there?” I nodded. “She was Levi’s fiancé. She died in a car crash last October.” I knew I should’ve reacted appropriately but I couldn’t force it quickly enough. Hanji noticed. “You don’t look shocked.”

“No, but I am surprised. A lot of things make sense now. I’m sorry for your loss.” I hastened to make a recovery to lessen the doubt along the planes of her face. A pang tugged on my heart. When I considered the alternate reality where Petra hadn’t died, the notion of Levi not arriving for his internship was incomprehensible. He’d be studying hard at home and married. No rings, no chaos, no cheating for me – yes, good, but no company around the house either, no distraction and no comfort.

“You haven’t done anything to apologise for it,” Hanji said. “Anyways. Shorty was in a really bad place the months after. Working himself to the bone, no sleep, no food, no nothing. He just had to be doing something. The one good thing that came out of it was his weekly visits to his mother.” A small pause, a moment of consideration for her and an odd feeling of fascination for me. I was soaking it up like a sponge because I was seeing, at last, his angle. “Maybe it hit him that if death came for Petra, it could come for Kuchel, too. I can’t know for sure. All I know is he exhausted himself to the point he collapsed. Unconscious for three whole days. Isabel told him he’d gotten the internship when he woke up.”

“So he used it as an escape,” I finished. It was a logical conclusion. Hanji nodded. Avoiding pain wasn’t the way but he’d been desperate to get away and the internship had been the perfect opportunity. He’d grabbed his bags, boarded the plane and then… well, had to deal with me. Not a warm welcome by any means. He hadn’t even had the energy to get angry or look like he felt anything. I hadn’t known, hadn’t cared enough to see. It made me uncomfortable to realise it.

“Flew over a whole ocean and kept working,” Hanji proceeded. “He wanted something to distract himself with. When he ran out of work because he did overtime, he started calling home more often. Vague details were all he gave, but I got the feeling he had something else to work on.” Hanji’s words made a lopsided smile kiss my lips. He’d wanted to busy himself with my well-being, but I’d taken it the wrong way, as I often did. Nowadays the matter was often used against him but never by him – wasn’t that funny?

“Becoming the spoiled brat’s babysitter,” I filled in kindly, but Hanji’s disapproving frown meant to reproach along with the eloquent gesture of her crossing her arms. I didn’t regret the way I worded it. Eren, Annie, Mikasa and my mother had often tried to make me rethink my ways, but results were yet to manifest. This story, with me as the shitty protagonist most likely to be insufferable contrary to sympathy-inducing, portrayed reality as I saw it – and reality often neglected character development.

“He never called you either, but he did mention taking care of you had the same effect as working, if not better. I felt he might find himself a friend, so I supported him. I think I made the right choice. You have a lot in common,” Hanji declared. It struck a cord – did we really? Our arguments were fire lashing out at ice �� not something that happened with people got along. Levi was hard to anger whereas I had a short fuse – everything was a personal insult. No easier target than a conceited paranoid.

“On the topic of that,” I piped. “How do you forget somebody?” The question was light-hearted. I decided to dismiss the whole story so I could ponder it later. Hanji’s brows furrowed as she smiled sympathetically. She couldn’t imagine the situation well enough. The question was I over Eren? had kept at a safe distance from my mind during my birthday vacation and the beginning of August only to assault it now with pitiless ire.

Things kept coming back when I least needed them. Thoughts of the twinkle in his teal eyes or the crooked smile he always wore before a kiss, the sound of his voice – the softness he’d told me he loved me with the first time, the haunting quiver in it when we were breaking up. I woke up at night with the howl of planes taking off and landing. On some mornings, I woke up, hoping to hear a knock at the door and see his face. Would he be more tan? Would his eyes be the same? Would his hair be styled differently? Would he have grown taller?

But, (Y/N), a voice would say in my head, people don’t grow taller just like that, it’s physically impossible.

Eren can, I’d argue, because Eren is my boyfriend and he can do anything if he puts his mind to it.

But Eren wasn’t my boyfriend and he wasn’t a miracle-maker. I’d sit in bed and argue with myself that Eren would come back, that I wanted the best for him and that wasn’t me, that we were done, but that he’d still come back. He never did. A small desperate part of me still hoped for the door to open – any door. Erwin Smith’s apartment’s front door right now, even. I could almost hear his footsteps going up the stairs. I swore I could. I turned to Hanji, a naïve question – can’t you? – flickering in my orbs. She didn’t catch it.

“I’m not an expert,” she said instead. “But Levi can be of help. His coping mechanisms aren’t the best example to follow, but he has a good head on his shoulders. He just doesn’t listen to it.” She might’ve thought, with how desperate I looked, that I might cry. She didn’t know pride would rather have me rip out of my tear ducts before that happened. I didn’t cry often or in many people’s presence. That wasn’t to say I didn’t like Hanji. But Annie and, unfortunately, Levi were the exceptions here. The latter was a mystery, probably my attempt to play a damsel in distress to ask for attention. Attention and help and fucking, might as well – a kiss. Couldn’t he just kiss me sometimes without me having to be in the middle of a mood?

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t copy those coping mechanisms even if I wanted to. Work, sex and alcohol are never a good mix.” I let out an awkward string of laughter, weirded out by my abrupt disconnection from the conversation and how it turned my thoughts against me. I didn’t miss him that much. Also, he was coming home tomorrow. I had nothing to play the desperate whore for. There was the blondie. That wasn’t jealousy, though. I’d say it was my wish to prove myself better.

“Sex?” Hanji echoed with a conflicted expression.

“Sex with my father’s secretary. I think it was around May. He stormed out after calling her and came back drunk in the middle of the night,” I explained. The brown-haired woman took a second to process the story, then burst out in incredulous laughter. My brows twitched. “What’s so funny?” Was it something else or was I just weird for not thinking my father’s intern and secretary fucking the joke of the century?

“I remember him telling me about that,” she started, voice hinting at a new bout of cackling. “He went to her place for paperwork and she had her boyfriend over. They kept offering him drinks and he agreed to shut them up. Crossed the line at some point. He even got lost on his way back to the house.” I wanted to face-palm using the table and, hopefully, get myself into a coma. Was there a person on this Earth denser than me or was I a phenomenal idiot?

“Oh, God,” I muttered in a wheeze. “I’m so stupid.” Embarrassment and shame painted the tips of my ears bright crimson as I clenched my fists. Hanji patted my shoulder.

“You’re not stupid. I would’ve thought the same if I had no context. Levi would never just have a one-night stand, though. Not the type of person for it. He claims it’s the wrongest way to get over something.” Her brown eyes, previously fixed on me, were now directed at the coffee table. “Might work for you, but he most certainly hates it.” A snort was drawn from her lips as she withdrew her hand from my shoulder. I tried not to think about it, but it was inevitable. Hitch’s party, him refusing, refusing, refusing, because it would be “just like that” and “just like that” was a solution for neither of us.

“I’ll consider it,” I joked. “I was busy up until recently, but maybe university won’t be enough to distract me.” I smiled as Hanji chuckled, patting my back.

“Another boyfriend should do the trick in that case,” she said.

But I don’t want another boyfriend, I wanted to counter. I want your grumpy short friend. The thought froze me up. Asshole-me joined Hanji’s hearty chuckle. Bold of me to think it. Terrible of me to think it. Wrong of me to think it. It was complicated. If romance was not involved here, it was undeniable at this point. I could almost feel it written in capital letters on my forehead.

ATTRACTED TO LEVI ACKERMAN. VERY.

“I’m not ready for the commitment.” Was the only comment to exit my mouth due to the sudden discomfort nestling in the crevice of my ribcage. “I think,” I added awkwardly, reluctant regarding a relationship but very opinionated on the topic of engaging my father’s intern in something inappropriate that would make our relations twice as complicated as they were.

“A friend with benefits then?” Hanji’s mind-reading abilities amazed. I realised it suddenly – that it was natural, this attraction of mine, no matter how humiliating and inconvenient. It wasn’t weird and maybe it wasn’t all that wrong. It was a guy who was three years older than me who lived with me that I considered unreachable. The forbidden fruit, so to say. He was handsome, mysterious and had abs. Natural to be attracted to that. Natural to be attracted to it when I saw it every day and it saw me every day and most times it treated me with passive kindness. So there’d be no harm, I assumed, in initiating something a smidge bigger. What was stopping me? I didn’t have a boyfriend, I wouldn’t feel guilty and I wasn’t insecure because, hey, he’d kissed me last time. Obviously, I wasn’t nasty.

“Update from a virgin to a slut then?” I smirked, a decision born. Hanji’s mouth clamped shut shamefully and I laughed. “I’m kidding, calm down. It was just a joke.” I patted her back. The ring on my finger was cool to the couch and soothing. My resolve, for once, was there. I had a goal. A simple one at that – nothing dangerous. Two words: kiss Levi. I would do it because there was nothing to stop me. I mean, what was the worst that could happen?

…

Imagine an elegant expensive kitchen armed with all kinds of top-quality appliances. Paradise for all little housewives who greet their husbands with a warm meal. I wasn’t that type and the fact I spent four hours cooking more food than a family of six could eat didn’t make me one either. Judging was futile because I took care of that myself during the whole process. Currently, the fruit of my effort sat in front of me – a full three-course meal with different forks to go with the high-class atmosphere. I was far from a successor of Gordon Ramsay, but I outdid myself this time. Why? Last-minute anxiety maybe. Or fear. I needed a distraction because the thought of Eren wouldn’t stop pestering me. Added to that was the fact my father could walk in without Levi. Asshole-me didn’t help.

Bet on the outcome now! A once-in-a-lifetime offer that provides an endless amount of entertainment for the whole family! Fifty bucks says a discount version of William will use the vanishing potion and fly back to France! The other side of the bet? Sorry, I don’t know her. With such a commentator, it was early to skip the food and go straight to consuming my fingernails. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. Place your bets right now, your bets need to go in the ballot box, quickly fill out the slips and put them in! Will he go or yes? And what’s the sweat for, princess? Don’t we like watching history repeat itself? I love it. So bet, bet, bet, bet! Come on, faster! If I had a penny for each time your father’s intern left you in the summer, I’d have two pennies. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s hilarious it happened twice!

The jingle of keys pulled the plug on asshole-me’s voice. I’d waited a whole hour now and my head snapped up so fast I heard my neck pop. The front door opened and my heart flinched when my father walked in, dressed in one of those hideous Hawaiian shirts they sold in souvenir shops and flaunting on his nose and cheekbones a really bad case of sunburn. He’d say the sun was harsh in Minnesota. I’d pretend not to hear because believing was impossible. He slipped out of his sandals and I clasped my hands together in excitement.

“Dad, finally! I was starting to think I’d have to reheat everything,” I said. He turned to face the fake exasperation masking the genuine joy I felt at his return. A doubtful smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and my eyes were frantically bouncing from him to the open door. Panic began to well up in my mind. Asshole-me was diligently digging a hole for it, to fit as much as possible.

“A pretty big feast you have there.” Rolland Raven took off the sunglasses he was wearing to eye the food a bit better. I cracked a smile I hoped wouldn’t seem constipated. My thought process was starting to lag due to overload when I heard a faint curse. Next thing, Levi’s pale figure, wearing a ridiculous straw hat. My heart dropped like a stone, plugged the pit of panic and made asshole-me yelp when it nearly crushed her fingers. I felt like stumbling back into my chair and never getting up.

“I guessed you might be hungry after the flight. You don’t have to eat all of it,” I said. It was then a pair of graphite hues shot up to my face. It felt like each muscle in it strained almost to the point of tearing. My father took a seat at the counter while the intern opted to drop off his luggage upstairs and change clothes. I stared after him a second too long while he was climbing the stairs.

“You’ve never waited for me after a business trip before.” (E/c) clashed with (e/c) as my father began picking his food and digging in with more enthusiasm than I’d expected. Levi had mentioned the almightly Raven had complained about the poor quality on the trip compared to what he had at home, but it was still a compliment to witness it manifested.

“I usually have things to do when you’re on business trips, father. This summer I needed a source of entertainment.” I rolled my eyes, letting them scan the interior during the roundabout lie. Lucky enough, they caught the exact moment Levi was leaving his room, tugging down his shirt. A glimpse of fit abdominals. A vague tan line. The food on the counter became a tad bit less appetising.

“Don’t you have Eren Jaeger to help with that?” My father’s question made my attention snap back in place just in time for Levi not to catch me staring. He took a seat at the far end of the counter but I was too preoccupied with a small freak-out fit to dwell on it.

“About that,” I squeaked out with a constipated expression, prompting both men’s attention to turn from half-hearted to wholly undivided. Amazing. I couldn’t have done a better job at it if I’d begun yodelling out of the blue. “Eren broke up with me two months ago.” The key to not sounding like a squeaky toy was to not meet anybody’s gaze. My father was blinking like something had gotten in his eye and Levi’s jaw clenched at the discomfort he was subjected to.

“And I wasn’t notified of that because?” Rolland Raven, among many a quality, was a proud man who, in spite of his profession, could never act quite as predictably as I wished him to. This was no exception because I didn’t have time to open my mouth before he silenced me with a hand in the air. “No, forget I asked. I need to have a serious talk with him. Maybe make him pay back all the dates you’ve handled with interest. We can make a fortune.” The devious plan was voiced in his typical cold-blooded businessman manner. I waved my hands around in discomfort.

“Hold your horses, father. You’re not the one who got dumped. Eren ended the whole thing because he went to study in Germany,” I explained but it wouldn’t satisfy my father, who only glared while putting a fork-full of potatoes in his mouth. Levi tried to become fully invisible. I thought if things got too heated for him, he might make a dash for his room with the dish.

“Unreasonable as can be. If he loved you as much as he had the balls to claim in front of me, he could’ve thought of an alternative that didn’t include breaking your heart. Because of something as insignificant as distance, too.” My father leaned back in his chair with folded arms. He forgot all about food so he could glare at me.

“4898 miles to be exact,” I murmured pitifully. Both men shot me an incredulous look, to which I switched on defence mode. “I did my research. I wasn’t crying the whole time.” Subconsciously copying my father’s position, I reclined in my chair and crossed my arms, glaring like a child prior to giving a sigh and smiling weakly. “I gave it a lot of thought and he did the right thing. So can you be the one to tell mom later?” The last inquiry seemed to surprise him, maybe because it was expected of me to share more with my mother and thus already have her know the super secret information I was handing him.

“I’ll try not to cry as I do.” A nod and a similar weak smile. “You did well not to tell me immediately.” He returned to normal – calculating and sharp, looking for weaknesses and thinking in numbers. Levi’s lack of shock went unnoticed, which I was secretly thankful for. The raven was looking at me playing with the silver band around my finger to soothe my nerves.

“Because you would’ve gone to the airport to kick him to the curb like a good father?” I smirked, a pointed look aimed at the dark-haired businessman, who only snorted in return prior to redirecting his attention back to the food.

“… maybe.” A small pause betraying care, an awkward glance in his intern’s direction conveying mild panic as a result of his feelings showing and a fake clearing of the throat to show discomfiture. He changed the topic immediately. “Have I told you you’ve become a better cook than your mother?” (E/c) clashed with (e/c) and I knew he could see I was holding back laughter by the way the corner of his mouth twitched downwards in displeasure.

“You have now. Congratulations on successfully dodging the topic,” I announced with a complacent grin as he scoffed, ignoring the embarrassment so he could go back to eating. Levi’s gaze was relentless but, once having resolved the current minor conflict, I felt too ashamed to return it. I couldn’t be speaking of Eren, thinking of Levi and acting like a professional whore. It went against my moral code. I wished it was as stable as my pride. Somewhere in my head, asshole-me was drafting an advertisement for the future demise of both.

The following day was unexpectedly laid back in terms of emotions – the process of waking up and going to work was starting to become mechanical. I disliked that I was turning into a nine-to-five zombie, but Melinda’s cross remarks did nothing to hinder my placidity and Adam’s request for a date was, surprisingly, accepted with a pinch of reluctance. It was time for something new, I defended when asshole-me breached the topic of my change of heart. I couldn’t go a whole life without clashing with a man who wasn’t Eren. To forget him, I actually needed to accept that. Because knowing he wouldn’t come back and I didn’t want to get back together was different from realising I couldn’t stay in the comfort zone of being endlessly attached to him and using it as an excuse to never move on.

I felt a smile light up my face the moment I saw Levi in front of the TV with a cup of tea in his hand. Unfortunately, I couldn’t use him to move on – it was the conclusion I drew from the quiet happiness gripping my heart at the sight of him beckoning me over. Everything I’d done had been quite enough. I wouldn’t turn him into a tool as well. So I settled on the couch and we led a half-assed conversation about the movie playing until my parents barged in, beaming and formal. Going for a date at a restaurant – yeah, no, I knew where they were going after. I smiled as we sent them off, and then the ebony-haired intern began choosing the movie we’d be watching and I worked on the snacks downstairs.

Accepted a date, claimed you won’t use him and now you’re pondering the kiss you’ll initiate. You know you’re fucked in the head, correct? Asshole-me piped mockingly, making me huff. I knew I was fucked in the head because she was there. Also, kissing Levi and using Levi were two different things. Different for him how? It’s kissing. It wasn’t. It would be exploring this time – not thinking about being distracted but feeling it for what it was. Jesus, that’s such a weak excuse. I felt she might be face-palming. Seriously, what’s wrong with you? You spent so much time telling your best friend you don’t like him, then you miss Eren, then you “date” Adam, then you grab your friend-zoned intern and decide you’ll be kissing him again – after you established you’re fucking inferior to the blondie who’s clearly hitting on him or clearly intent on doing it too. Can you not follow the timeline?

“Princess, why does Natalie tell me you’ve filled out all the forms related to the company’s income during our vacation?” Levi lowered the phone from his ear. The call had ended a second ago and he was glaring at me doubtfully. I was busy watching the movie – hopefully, excuse enough for scarce to no eye contact. I opened the pack of Doritos I’d dug up from my secret stash in the garage and warily eyed the pale intern’s expression.

“Because the forms were in the office downstairs and I figured they’d get in the way of our movie marathon, asshole. I haven’t messed them up.” My scoff was promptly returned to sender as Levi shoved his phone back in his pocket and clicked his tongue in exasperation. Another three minutes passed before I spoke up: “By the way, I need advice.” The room was dimly lit and the raven’s sharp gaze was on my temple.

“Will you have it in mind when you get back on your bullshit?” The inquiry was flat and doubtful. I tried to nod but it came out looking like a cringe and a shrug. His lips pursed in exhaustion. “Spill,” he ordered coldly, making me pout.

“How do I forget Eren?” Squeaky was the best I could do after becoming tense again. Nervousness was gnawing at the feeble stem of courage I’d managed to grow and my hopes for this to go as smoothly as a chat about the weather were stuck in an elevator on the top floor of a skyscraper. Even overthinking was useless here.

“Easy,” he said. Again, there was that breach of grammar. “Find somebody new. Judging by how much you’re smiling these days, you might as well be done with that.” The suspicious mockery made me snort.

“Don’t you think I might be happy to have you and dad back home?” I asked pointedly.

“No,” he countered with a defiant click of his tongue. What he said next sounded like an extract from a Jorge Bucay book. Something about self-love maybe. “Before you get with Rivers, however, you have to accept that Jaeger is now your ex. He’s part of the past and the past doesn’t hold power over the future if you don’t let it.” I bit back laughter to not offend him.

“Such a poet you are,” I huffed half-heartedly. “And how do I stop loving him?” Seriousness stood perched on my right shoulder, but the Doritos between us kept decreasing and I felt the soothing coolness of the ring on my finger. Our gazes locked and I stared, just because I could, because he was back, because he acted normally. And why wouldn’t he? Our circumstances surely weren’t enough to alter his demeanour.

“You don’t. You never will and you should get used to it.” His answer cut deep and I realised it might’ve confused me but I was too captivated by his eyes to process it. He forced himself to explain: “We never stop loving somebody once we’ve fallen for them. We just fall harder for another person.” It was as romantic as it was businessman-like. A bit too… systematic somehow.

Line up, line up! Asshole-me encouraged. I imagined a big queue in front of an entrance door with a sign bearing my name above it. Number 12, pass through, but beware – number 10 wasn’t careful with his words and number 11 made no effort to change that! The asshole side of me clearly fancied the idea. For all waiting, the Eren Jaeger mural is on the left and the guy on the right is the one you’ll never be! Keep trying but keep this face in mind – Levi Ackerman is hiding in a lot of the corners you’ll visit! He’s an invaluable guest at this establishment! Oh! Is it time for the next one already? Hurry up, number 13! Don’t hold up the queue, who knows how much capacity we have left. And so on until the last victim had walked in. It made my nose scrunch up.

“Does that mean you still haven’t gotten over Petra?” I piped curiously, bright eyes observing closely the intern’s reaction. The movie was no longer as interesting. Everything I could focus on was the furrow between Levi’s brows and the flat unperturbed look in his eyes. He grabbed a Dorito from the pack. I moved my hand away just in time to avoid a clash.

“It means I haven’t fallen in love with the next in line,” he said, reinforcing the notion of a queue. “I’m used to the fact she’d dead. Filling out every report in the world won’t bring her back,” he paused briefly and gulped, “so I go on with my life.” The explanation was simple but relatively quiet, like he was trying to say the words while not exactly aiming to have me hear them. His gaze was staring at the screen ahead as I looked down, trying to come up with a good one-liner to put him out of his discomfort.

“I feel like we’re becoming pensive,” I started with a lopsided smirk, “so let me pull a Reverse Uno card on this mood by saying I’ve reached a milestone in my life.” Licking the Dorito dust off my fingers, I puffed out my chest proudly, making the intern put a hand to his mouth. Maybe he’d bitten back a smile behind it. “I won’t get fined for driving without supervision now. Not to mention, I can have sex.” Waving an index finger in front of his face, I didn’t react when he grabbed it without warning.

“I don’t see what stopped you before,” he stated nonchalantly. I shrugged, concluding I hadn’t exactly shared with him details about my childish vow.

“There was this really religious teacher at school when I was ten – she scarred all her classes by giving them unsolicited Sex Education lectures mixed with Bible verse. Got fired because children complained to their parents, but she did a good one on me before that,” I explained with a smile, yanking my finger from his hold. “Since sex was for sinners – both began with the letter s, she explained to us – and I didn’t want to be a sinner because it meant… well, a bad person, I told myself I’d have sex only after turning eighteen, regardless of the temptation. So I held out. Proud of myself for that.” My complacent smile made him snort. He might’ve glanced at my lips right after.

“I’m sure there’s been a lot of temptation for you, princess,” he drawled in a deep sarcastic voice, moving the empty bag of Doritos away before wiping his fingers with as I processed the retort. I sat still, pouting for a fraction of a second, when it hit me this was my chance. The signal was there – shining in bright green, if I wasn’t color-blind – and it was time for me to grasp the opportunity.

“More than you can imagine, asshole,” I said with a scoff, not parting my eyes from his profile to observe his reaction. We cast aside the fact he could’ve poked fun at me being the furthest thing from a believer, yet such a big aspect of my life had been altered by a religious teacher. The tip of his nose twitched when he snorted in dismissal, not daring to meet my eye all of a sudden.

“The mood has been brightened. What do we do now?” He turned to face me, curious but hesitant, and I felt a surge of courage at the sight of the indecisiveness dawdling about in his grey eyes. The blue specks were calling me – count us, (Y/N), count us – and I concluded this would be the one time I initiated anything between us. It was stressful and scary, but it was Levi, so want overpowered fear, resulting in something we’d have a hard time sorting out our feelings on.

“Watch the movie you so diligently picked for us maybe?” But actions contradicted words because I was leaning in and he could see it. For two whole seconds, there was no movement on his end. Panic was about to make me pull back, pin it to something else, anything else, when his hand lifted, slender fingers gently tucking my hair behind my ear. This was it. It would happen. I was exploring what it’d be like without the guilt of purposefully seeking distraction.

It was slow – the first kiss – his lips barely landing on top of mine so we could taste the water even when we knew it was lukewarm. The movie was like white noise – I could catch fragments of dialogue and the screen illuminated Levi’s profile the few times my lids fluttered open. His hold on the side of my face was gentle, granting permission for me to pull back at any point. I didn’t know what he was thinking. I knew I was barely thinking and it felt nice, for my head to be so blissfully empty. It was all sensations and when he dragged his tongue over my bottom lip, my mouth opened to allow access for further exploration. The kiss deepened and I tried to push closer into him.

“Get on top,” he muttered into my mouth. His right hand dipped to grab my leg. I might’ve flushed bright red, but I still complied, slowly straddling him and letting his hands guide me to where he found it most comfortable. I was terribly aware of what I sat on. It might’ve been terribly aware of me, too.

It was slow and fast at the same time. We weren’t breaking the kiss but some moments of it – like his hand brushing my side and making me cover in goosebumps – were fleeting like blinks while others – like the weird scorching thing in my whole torso – felt endless. It was indescribable to a point, the heat of the moment but the moment was long and the pace was changing slightly the more it went on. It hadn’t been him either. It was him responding to me, because I couldn’t for the life not hold him tightly and subconsciously look for more. We were glued together and his fingers had tentatively pushed up my shirt at the back so they could trail up and down the curve of my spine.

My head was tilted, fingers tangled in his hair and heavy huffs escaping my nostrils. He smelled like lavender and rain and cologne, and my fucking conditioner I’d told him a thousand times to stop using because it was expensive. I didn’t bother scolding him about it now. My desperate want turned the kisses hungrier and there was this point – I might’ve wiggled slightly to find an even closer spot – but he stiffened and grabbed the back of my head, growing twice as persistent and passionate. Weird, using that word about him. It hit me the forbidden part of male anatomy I was seated on top of had risen to attention. It made me wonder if it had happened before and that, in turn, was simultaneously embarrassing and flattering. He was attracted to me, too. Duh. We were literally making out on my bed.

When more began translating as more of everything instead of more of this particular thing, he seemed to sense the shift. His hands guided me off his lap and back on the bed. My head was resting against the pillow and my head was empty, lids fluttering open to drink the sight of him the first time he broke the kiss – pale but handsome, tired but caring, bored but clearly moved by the happening. It was a miracle. I’d been begging for this statue to show me anything in the beginning of his internship. I hadn’t known it could show me this – it looked like a godsend. My heart was going a hundred miles per hour, my breath was unsteady and my body felt hot all over.

It didn’t matter where he kissed – my lips, my neck, my chest, my shoulders – I just wanted him to keep kissing me. Temptation had seldom been this strong and the vow was no longer active, it was fulfilled – an electrifying realisation. I didn’t need to have him stop. What my sinner’s hands did the moment that resolution snapped in place was to grab the hem of his shirt and, with pointed urgent eyes, plead with him to take it off. He hesitated for exactly one second, then complied, like he’d complied with everything else without having me say it. He was kneeling between my legs, arms going over his head so the piece of clothing could be discarded. His chest and abdomen flexed, the biceps, the triceps, all the other names of muscles I’d had to read about but hadn’t memorised. Adonis in the flesh. Fuck me for drooling. Oh.

If I could paint, I’d paint him. If I could sing, I’d write a song. If I had a taser, I’d tase myself out of being so cringe-worthy in admiring the body of a man. But when that body pressed against mine, everything became a bit too hot – literally and metaphorically – so I decided the next step was to cool down by taking off my own clothes. First the shirt, then the pants he helped out with. I almost laughed when they tangled at my ankles and he had to tug them off with an irritated frown. Here it was, having my father’s intern see my bra again. This time I didn’t mind.

“Frills? Seriously?” Well, now I minded.

“Do we have an issue?” I snapped with a pointed look. It didn’t help he was towering over me, sizing up my underwear with eyes that spoke simultaneously of him being amused and him being something else. I wondered if he was still hard. I hadn’t touched there once.

“It’s almost cute,” he mocked flatly. He didn’t reach to take it off – he just leaned down to mollify me with a kiss. It worked. I was carried off into wanting more again. The weight of him on top of me grounded the body and made the soul soar. It was a cringe comparison but whatever, it was true. I realised, right about the time I tugged on the waistband of his sweatpants and his brows flashed in unrestrained surprise, that I was an eighteen-year-old doing exactly what was expected of every single eighteen-year-old on the planet – sneaking a boy into my room while my parents were out.

This here was a boy I trusted and a boy I was halfway convinced was more of a man than a boy, mostly when it came to observing how he casually sat up and removed his sweatpants with precision contrary to clumsiness. My eyes flickered down to his boxers. Still hard alright. There was a rush of excitement and shame all at once when I realised it. A bit too late to stop and pin this a mere heat-of-the-momet make-out session. It was the real deal. Happening. Live. In my room. On a late August evening. Goodness gracious.

It took me a second to process it and he might’ve sensed that I’d grown a bit rigid despite remaining just as active. He didn’t advance the happening, petting my hair and kissing me, and trailing lower, but only as low as he’d gone before, finding the rest a sort of forbidden land. Didn’t even take off the bra with the frills he mocked me for. What a gentleman. He was kissing the curve of my breast and I was wondering how in the fucking hell I’d deserved this.

“We don’t have to,” he warned at some point. “If you don’t want to. Saying no is allowed.” He kissed me and it was intoxicating, but also the last snapped nerve. I arched my back off the bed, elbows bending so my hands could reach for my bra clip. The shoulder straps went loose and Levi paused for a moment to process what the act meant.

“I won’t say it,” I muttered with determination, eyes locked with his. Pride was strong within me even now and, having the wordless consent, he gently took off the bra before paying some attention to newfound territory. It was like being examined in a lab. Again, my boobs weren’t perfect. It was genetics and fate, and whatever else. In being embarrassed about him staring at my chest, I was graced by the thought I hadn’t shaved anywhere. Double embarrassed. Wasn’t it only right that the first time would come with presentability? There go the Raven teachings.

And the word nipple is somewhat lame – I’ve heard it from native and non-native speakers of English both – but there is no other word. So when his tongue rolled around my nipple, I forgot I hadn’t shaved and drew such a sharp breath I almost choked. My chest was heaving and he was thumbing my other nipple. I thought we’d get straight to it and was mistaken. He knew better, it seemed, because a virgin needed the bare minimum of this much and more foreplay to truly relax. It hit me for a fraction that this was actual foreplay while I was staring at the ceiling between trying not to make any sounds. I was like a dead fish, just letting him do things to me. More responsive than a dead fish but awfully inexperienced in any case. It made me feel just a bit guilty. My one saving grace was the fact his erection kept brushing against my leg – and if that was there, then it meant he wasn’t dissatisfied.

It was a black spot for a while because I couldn’t pinpoint between the overwhelming build-up of nice but not nice enough where exactly Levi was kissing or sucking or nipping or touching. Now it would be my thigh, now leaving a hickey on my shoulder, now trailing kisses over my jaw and down my neck, now caressing my side, now trailing a finger down to my navel, now my boob, intermission, the other boob – and the whole time there was that thing in my abdomen, the same one I’d felt with Eren, the hot knot begging for attention.

This was a new person and I hadn’t thought it’d come with a new person, but it was there alongside a brand new dynamic which wasn’t hurried or harsh or overtly passionate like I’d been used to. The pace was decent and steady and passion here didn’t amount to bruises – or at least not explicitly so. The new person made it thrilling, overwhelming. The new person made it a brand new experience. And when the brand new person’s hand gently dipped to touch the part where my legs met, I shivered all over, heart and lady boner flinching at once. Levi, with his obstinacy, refused to ask permission vocally. I still nodded, spreading my legs a bit wider. Slowly, like my panties weren’t in the way, he kissed from my knee to the base of my inner thigh, nipped slightly and made me yelp, and muffled something like a chuckle against the plush of my leg.

I didn’t know what he was thinking. I knew his fingers pressing against the spot where wetness had accumulated made my mouth gape slightly. I craned my neck and closed my eyes. There was embarrassment holding hands with excitement, with pleasure breathing down their necks. Nothing quite mattered. I breathed out like I’d been holding my breath for fourteen minutes when the raven’s fingers gently dragged back and forth against my core and then he might’ve been impatient, because he tugged my underwear out of the way, down my legs, past the knees and the ankles, dropping it with the rest of our clothes and the empty Dorito bag on the floor. It was a whole mess, this thing. I wanted it.

“The house is empty, princess,” he said while leaning down to kiss below my navel.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, almost out of breath in spite of my lungs functioning perfectly. His fingers were ghosting on the side of where I wanted him to touch. His mouth dragged lower. There was the jab of shame about not being shaved again. It hadn’t sent him to his feet and out of the room, so it was probably fine. A man wasn’t afraid to fight the jungle, I’d heard a few times before.

“That you can make noise without being scared,” he responded casually. I snorted and decided inwardly that I wouldn’t be making any noise whatsoever, just to spite him. It did feel good, though, so I doubted I could actually hold back effectively. As though to challenge the unsaid decision, Levi cut the suspense short. When his tongue rested where only one other had before, I came close to whining. My hand shot down to paw at his hair and he hummed against my clit. The vibrations of it made me writhe slightly.

He licked and sucked – nipped twice, which made me yelp both times – and did all sorts of other magic. Added to the title of mind-reader would now be the rank of mage. Then, there was this point when I could feel his fingers prodding at my entrance – a gentle warning of what was to come. First it was one. My mouth gaped and there was a slight flash of something like pain. More like discomfort. Now this was brand new wherever I looked at it from. Remember, my vow had its doors but none had included penetration. Officially the furthest I’d gone with somebody. Goodbye, hymen. You served us well.

He waited. Waited almost a full minute and distracted me with his tongue before I rolled my hips to give him the green light. Slow pumps. It was still uncomfortable, but the friction wasn’t painful. Just uncomfortable and new and I didn’t like change, but when this one found with its finger one particular spot sold off as the Bermuda Triangle for men to find, I might’ve liked this particular change. First, it made me moan. Second, the more he kept reaching that spot – because it was impossible to miss I liked it – the closer I was to coming. There were sloppy sounds and a second finger inserting itself in me, and my voice bouncing off the walls before dropping to the floor in a hush.

I might’ve said his name, actually, I might’ve half-screamed it. The orgasm hit me like a brick dropping straight on my genitals and he kept flicking his tongue slower and slower until I’d ridden it out in full. How considerate. When his fingers came out, there was a spot of blood. My mouth clamped shut in shame. He reached over to clean them with a wet wipe – then he cleaned me, too, because obviously he could see things that were invisible to me. There was slick on his chin and I glared half-heartedly when his eyes twinkled in amusement at me.

“Well, that’s done,” I muttered while he leaned over with the intention to kiss me again. “Wipe your mouth, asshole.” I put a hand to his chest to prevent my own pussy juices from coming in contact with my face. For a clean-freak, he sure didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get them off.

“You don’t want to see how tasty it is?” He was mocking me. I was red and hot all over still, a bit like a deflated balloon being refilled with exasperation contrary to air. No longer a virgin, as far as doctors would care. Still kind of in the middle, considering typical hetero interactions included something more than fingers.

“God, no!” I tried to push at his jaw and he almost chuckled when the pussy juice got on my fingers and I flicked my wrist frantically to get it off.

“It was god, yes a second ago,” he drawled pointedly. I burned bright red under his gaze, naked and not a hymen-bearer and kind of lost as to what came next. I pouted, swatted his shoulder and pretended to be very disgusted when he kissed me, making it open-mouted and sloppy for the sake of spiting me. In truth, it didn’t taste like much. Tasted weird, unlike food and drink. Well, that’s bodily fluids for you.

Remember the right-est choice I made as of late? Here it comes. The kiss guided his fingers down to my clit again and mine – to the band of his boxers. A tug and a snap, and he asked me three whole fucking times if I was sure. Not verbally, of course. It was just the particular way he stopped between each step to make sure, to look at me straight in the eye and have me nod my consent back to him. Like I’d change my mind that fast. God’s sake – if I would’ve said no, I would’ve said it before we’d kissed. But this wasn’t something he would do under normal circumstances – not a matter of alcohol, guilt or duty. It was free will and choice. Mine might’ve been made sometime last month, right around my birthday.

The boxers were gone. I blinked at it. A penis in textbooks, a dick in colloquial speech, a cock in smut books, a member in tame erotica. Length, girth, meat sword, love machine – could go on forever. We sat staring at it like it was an alien and while I was bashful, I was also bad with measurements without the aid of a ruler, hence why I safely concluded that I could stack about four donuts on it and put the zipper on it. There was that thing – precum, was it? – leaking from the tip. In all honesty, no I didn’t want to lick it off. Same went for sperm. In the history of mankind, I’d done the gracious thing and sucked off my boyfriend exactly once – the rest had been handjobs because blowjobs came with terrible pains in the jaw, a cramping of the tongue, a crap salty taste and the awkward detail of looking like an unattractive fish during the act. So, no, I didn’t volunteer to show off how bad I was at it.

“Condoms, shit.” It flew out of my mouth unintentionally. Levi’s face scrunched up. We were both visited by the bitter realisation that going further was not an option anymore, unless he wanted to don on a sock. Then the solution came to me. “Keep it up, I’ll be back in a minute,” I mumbled hurriedly, jumping off the bed and rushing butt-naked out of the room so I could go to my parents’ bedroom. Yeah, no, such was the reality of things. I tried to keep my conscience untainted while rummaging through the wardrobe. The hidden box of condoms in the back by the shoes was the saving grace. I wouldn’t speak of this to a living soul that wasn’t Annie Leonheardt ever.

The moment I returned to the room with the box held proudly over my head, Levi snorted. He laid me on the bed again and the mood returned, which was weird because I’d pinned him the type of experience one moment of interruption and consider it all ruined. Not that I’d thought about him during sex or having sex. I hadn’t. I promise. I was thinking it now, when I was about to have it with him. The kisses eased the natural awkwardness and by the time he was putting it in, I was a desperate mess again. Sweat stuck to skin and my breath got stuck in my throat when he pushed it in. I blanked, gaped like I’d received a headshot and felt him stand still to let me adjust. There was, again, mild discomfort. Fingers couldn’t compare to a dick.

I gave it half a minute and told him to move. The first thrust had me whining into his mouth. It was good. It was good, progressively becoming better and better and better, a surprise arriving with each snap of his hips. My father’s intern having sex with me, my father’s intern, my father’s intern, my intern, my Levi. The first five minutes were full of careful slow strokes to let the awkwardness dissipate and for me to get used to it. I won’t call myself anything but I’ll say I got used to it a bit too fast for comfort. So it went. Losing my virginity to my father’s intern.

“Faster, can you--- a bit faster?” The words were choked out and you’d wonder why I would ask for faster when slow was doing a good job of making my chest heave like I was running a marathon, but it was maddening and addictive.

“I can for you, princess.” It was a rasp against the side of my neck and I was blanking because the voice, paired with the hands, with the scent, with the sensation of being full and empty, then full and empty again was so mind-numbing I could melt on the spot and stay there forever. So slow and careful turned into fast and considerate. There was no harshness in him even when he kneaded my boobs or licked stripes down the length of my throat, no harshness whatsoever when he gripped my thighs or my sides. It was tight, but pleasant, egging me on further.

I bit down on the pillow when he found the spot. I bit his finger, too. I bit his shoulder and I bit my own hand to keep my voice down because how was something on this Earth allowed to be so nice? Fuck. He murmured at me to moan if I felt like it. There was a smug undertone. And when he reached between us to roll circles around my clit, I didn’t moan – I was a banshee impersonator, neck craning, back arching, toes curling, all that jazz. I came with a crash and a bang, and it might’ve been an hour by now, or maybe more, but the neighbourhood was asleep and I was wide awake, trying to wake them up, too.

A five-minute break of kisses served as an intermission to avoid me becoming overstimulated but Levi was still hard and still quite energetic in spite of the fact he’d been fucking me for an overall of thirty minutes without stopping or having his pace hitch. Round two started fast and I had my legs up, knees on the sides of my head. It was hot, seeing him through that kind of frame. Just one bead of sweat on his temple – not sticky all over, unlike me. Why was I the one becoming exhausted anyway? I was being a pillow princess. His eyes were gorgeous and his lips were slightly swollen.

“Please, don’t stop,” I whined at some point. He didn’t seem to have any prospects of stopping anyway, but I couldn’t help it. He huffed, chest heaving with lust and I knew it wasn’t easy to be the one doing all the work, so I mentally gave credit where credit was due. “Oh--- Levi, God!” He seemed like he wanted to laugh and my ring glimmered in the dark against his cheek while I tried to pull him down for a kiss which was simply impossible in our current position. He switched it five minutes later. It was not an understatement to claim I was seeing stars and everything was nice and nothing was awkward and this was the most handsome man with the most stamina on this land.

I lost my voice at some point, or I thought I did because my third orgasm couldn’t make me bite down on the pillow fast enough to muffle the literal holler that left my lungs. His name, by the way. If that hadn’t woken the neighbours, I wasn’t sure anything would. I was recuperating and he was trailing gentle pecks along my neck, still not finished. Was sex always this physically draining? My mind might’ve blanked during the third round and we were in missionary again because I insisted that I be able to kiss him any time I wished to. His hand was holding my wrist captive and the other was massaging my breast and it was all a giant whirlpool of pleasure and heat and fluids – the nasty and the nice in one, but I couldn’t care less about the nasty.

He came with a growl, biting down on my shoulder to muffle something that sounded like my name as his pace hitched and turned sloppy for the first time in what felt like hours. He slumped down on top of me and I was breathing more heavily than him, calmed by the weight. I was blinking at the ceiling and my heart was doing somersaults in my ribcage. He went to shower after a minute of rest, I called him out for being a clean freak and it just so happened that my perception of time wasn’t all too warped because checking my phone made me realise we’d had sex for about three hours, foreplay included. I slipped into the shirt he’d tossed on the floor, wiped myself and very considerately ignored the soreness in my hips while changing the sheets.

To my biggest surprise, he returned to my room in a new pair of boxers with his hair wet. There was no invitation. He joined me on the clean bed and wrapped his arms around me. This might’ve been aftercare. When our gazes locked, I didn’t dare avert my eyes in bashfulness. It was surreal and I wanted to memorise it. Then he asked me again – as voicelessly as the first time and the following ten – and I answered positively by flashing him the biggest smile I could muster. No words were exchanged. Levi rolled his eyes and I tucked myself under his chin, legs tangling with his. I was knocked out cold. I wouldn’t hasten to write this off as a happy ending but I wouldn’t immediately turn it angsty either. I explored. It was nice. I don’t think I regretted it for a second.

Waking up was a surreal experience because it included the added luxury of being bathed in sunlight with a warm arm draped around my midriff and a pale sunlit face inches from mine. A spot of purple in the crook of his neck and a few red crescents on his shoulder. Perhaps one or two leftover scratches on his back. I blinked at the sight incredulously, gradually coming to and realising what this position meant – prompted by last night’s three different ones, too.

It happened! Asshole-me hollered in my head, nearly hysteric, slamming a pan into a bell and making the echo of the toll ring painfully against the confines of my skull. You ruined it all! It was like an automatic switch – suddenly, the neutral was the bad and I had complicated it with my impulsiveness, my stupid hormones. I imagined four months of awkwardness and the wish to have more but being completely incapable of asking for fear it would mean feelings. I pictured a tense atmosphere, uncomfortable interactions, embarrassing thoughts, lame excuses. A friendship built with struggle and just barely reinforced annihilated to smithereens by my dumb ass.

I cringed, removing my hand from Levi’s chest to slap myself across the face for being horrible again – not in using him but in indulging my own selfishness. His eyelids fluttered open before the admonishment transpired and I was staring straight into the melted silver which had the tendency to read my thoughts. The current self-reprimanding cacophony would entertain him.

“… should make you coffee,” he mumbled half-coherently, making me blink wondrously at his hazy composure. This is normal, his eyes whispered, lips pressing nonchalantly to my forehead before he got up, so there’s no need to be so shocked. The trip down the stairs was silent. I had left scratches. More than two.

Currently, we were in the kitchen, sitting around the counter with our mandatory morning drinks. Unsaid words hung from the ceiling like dangling cobwebs. Levi, who’d needed a moment to retrieve his memories in full, was stiff and uncertain, and in spite of that visibly calmer than me. I could feel my face heating up as I thought of what to say. This wasn’t normal, even if both of us upon our respective awakening had pinned it such. It was something we had to discuss but how were we supposed to discuss sex when we sometimes fought over food? Deciding what to do seemed impossible.

“Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?” The raven, of course, was the one who broke the silence while I was slurping on my coffee, gaze averted and heart beating erratically. “Princess, I’m afraid this is something important,” he said in the face of my silence. His piercing glare was on my temple but I wouldn’t turn, keeping my fingers glued to my cup and my mind grounded in panic. “Need I remind you exactly what happened?” Levi pressed additionally, husky voice raising in audible urgency. I felt completely and utterly naked – dressed in only his shirt and my own underwear.

“We had sex, that’s what happened.” I shrugged, mind preoccupied with the strange feeling eating its way into it. Deep into my stomach, up to my lungs, through the chambers of the heart, in the windpipe – but not painfully. “There’s nothing more to it.” The nonchalant statement didn’t get a warm welcome. That much was to be expected. The attractive intern was frowning, rubbing his temples with a frustrated sigh. I tried not to look at his fingers.

And I’m trying to do just that, asshole-me scoffed pointedly. There’s something different about them when they’ve been inside you last night, yeah? A good type of different. Imagine it. My shoulders tensed as I chased her around in my head with a frying pan. Levi ran a hand through his ebony locks. Wow, is that the sex hair? And I pursed my lips in displeasure, knowing the struggles of the current moment and choosing in spite of them to secretly a wish for a second time. No harm, you know, no harm whatsoever in wanting to fuck your father’s goddamn intern, yeah? No? Can you hear it? Does it sound like a good sentence? Does it?

“Where exactly does your lacking virginity fit into your nothing more to it?” His retort made me cringe, well aware of the virginity ace hidden up his imaginary sleeve. It was a bit harder to argue with him when he was half-naked, letting me see the spots I’d bitten and kissed. The situation: we’d had sex. My side: I had nothing against him being my first because I trusted him and he’d been experienced and careful enough to make it nice. The actual problem: he was my father’s intern.

The abstract part: intimacy often came with, well… intimacy. Casual sex had the advantage of not seeing your partner again afterwards and in our case, we’d had casual sex with somebody we saw daily. Future speculation: tension due to this adventure would brew either discord or twice the ferocity in repeating the adventure. A possible solution: talking about feelings. Additional issue: Levi and I talking about feelings? Not in this day and age. Not in this life either. Telling him he made me feel warm and appreciated? Impossible. Honesty in the face of something embarrassing? Sorry, I don’t know her. She must be really lame.

“Everywhere, because I don’t care for it. It might add complexity to your situation, but it doesn’t play a big role in mine.” Dismissing the whole of it and pinning it on him was wrong. My nonchalance was false. Maybe it was what made him take a deep breath prior to speaking up again, his tea untouched.

“You’re supposed to be freaking out, princess.” His eyes were on mine and asshole-me was screaming: Come on, do it! Just kiss him and make things worse! Go right ahead! I averted my gaze with a snort. He’d used my nickname last night. Added a shade of meaning to it. I tried to get a grip as my rational side reasoned with the situation. This had been a one-time thing – or at least for him. Following that train of thought, wanting more was useless.

“You think I’m not?” It was high-pitched and ludicrous. Memories were surfacing and it was somewhat unpleasant to think they wouldn’t repeat. Levi kissing me in the dark, almost saying my name, clearing the hair from my sweaty forehead, biting my neck as he came, smiling against my lips as I tugged on his hair and tried not to moan, holding me close afterwards, not once saying the wrong thing. “I’m freaking out. You just don’t see it.” My downcast gaze was thoughtful and the air was becoming heavier with something I couldn’t identify. I could feel him staring and it bugged me not to know what he was thinking. “What?” I snapped, refraining from playing with my ring.

“What do you want to do now?” He asked flatly, eyes pinning me in place. “Do you want me to pretend this didn’t happen or do you want us to keep going?” It was ridiculous hearing him say it because, usually, he wouldn’t. I blinked, thinking I’d misheard.

“Keep going as in keep having sex?” I echoed to make sure I’d understood. It might’ve gone out a bit more shocked than expected, which made him sigh.

“I was listing options. In the end, it all comes down to what you want.” The flat voice made me realise I knew what I wanted well enough to have chosen during the conversation with Hanji three days ago or maybe even before I’d had the courage to admit it to myself.

“I don’t know what I want,” I lied with a pointed look, vehement embarrassment clawing up my throat and scratching at the back of it. I could say I wanted to keep going – his offer meant he might be willing – but his response was a fifty-fifty on whether he was sexually frustrated or would rather stick to decorum while living in the same house as the girl he was fucking and her father. I couldn’t turn the question on him because it was mean. I couldn’t call it a mistake because that would be another lie. I was tired of lying when it didn’t go to protect my pride.

“You don’t?” He quirked a thin brow mockingly, feigning the surprise he didn’t feel. “Or you just don’t want to admit your favour the more embarrassing option?” I sat motionless, knowing this wasn’t what I should’ve been doing – considering it. Maybe this was a test he had for me – to see if I’d be dumb or act like a reasonable adult. But (there came that stupid word again) if Hanji had been right, this wasn’t a random hook-up, which meant there might be something and---

Are you seriously considering a relationship with somebody who’s leaving in less than four months? Asshole-me interjected, making me sigh in defeat. Doesn’t fuck randomly, okay, fine, but this is an exception. How in the fucking hell would he grow to like you? You know that’s impossible. Methinks he went along with it because you clearly wanted it. Think about it, he does all sorts of bullshit for you. So what sounds more plausible? Him being himself or him liking you? The former, of course, but I couldn’t admit it. Like I couldn’t admit he was right to say I favoured the more embarrassing option.

“Even if it was like that,” I chose to return the favour and be doubtful, “I’m not inclined to think your morals would let you humour me.” My chin was tipped upwards while Levi shook his head and finally took a sip from his tea. The ghost of a smirk in the corner of his mouth disarmed.

“I have little to nothing against it. But,” (that fucking word again) the firmness of his voice was the only thing keeping my chest from swelling, “it doesn’t sound like an ideal course of action when you’ve almost got yourself a new boyfriend,” he reasoned calmly, somber responsibility lacing his tone.

“It’s not cheating if we’re not official,” I protested instantly, furrowed brows and a pout. He snorted.

“That’s not what I meant, princess.” My lips pursed at the jolt the nickname gave me. “I don’t want sex clouding your judgement. I get Rivers isn’t your boyfriend, but you shouldn’t exclude him as a possibility just because you’ve started thinking you have feelings for me.”

“Besides being a poet, you’ve turned into a psychologist, too,” I exclaimed with a genuinely cheerful chuckle that made him quirk a brow. Something in my throat shrivelled up. “Don’t dwell on my feelings too much, asshole,” I reassured. “I like this because it’s something new, not because I’m head over heels in love with you.” I was still chuckling as he sipped on his tea and fixed me with one of those firm looks that had the ability to bend the knees. The effect was doubled in intensity this morning.

“Make your choice then,” he said boredly, not wishing to be too imperious, seeing as the situation wasn’t taking place in a formal setting where he was the boss and I was the indecisive underling. I might as well have been, with how hot my ears got while I held his gaze, brave and stupid in the face of somebody who read me better than I sometimes read myself.

“I’m not saying it out loud,” I muttered, bashful. The ebony-haired intern watched me struggle before tilting his head to the side with a fake air of oblivion.

“Then I won’t know what you want,” he said innocently, attempting to mock my shyness and what was more – succeeding. I burned bright red, feeling heat creep up my neck and my glare was pointed and uncontrolled. It couldn’t pass as mere annoyance because Levi was hitting a nerve.

“I didn’t see you having a hard time knowing everything I wanted last night, but okay.” There was more spite than sass in the sentence, which only further conveyed my inability to stay nonchalant – something that clearly amused him. “I want us to… keep going. Satisfied?” Crossed arms, downcast gaze and a childish pout. I was the live embodiment of the word petulance and Levi wasn’t done having fun with it.

“Not as satisfied as I clearly left you.” He was smirking and I glared at him, furious and not knowing where the blood would go when there was no space left in my head. I hopped off my chair, turning my back to him and hearing how he moved to stand behind me. A well-meaning hand landed on my shoulder. “It was a joke, princess, there’s no need for the cold shoulder.” His tone was flat and disinterested, but there was a pacifying sliver. He might’ve been trying to make peace but I wouldn’t have it after all the embarrassment he put me through – just to have a good private laugh, too!

“Un-fucking-bearable, that’s what you are,” I hissed, brushing his hand off my shoulder and heading to the staircase in order to escape. He gave chase and set on ignoring the usual code that forbade touchy-touchy when unneeded. The pure and unfiltered imagination one must have in order to picture a shirtless Greek God chasing after a poorly dressed eighteen-year-old spoiled brat was too ambitious a requirement for anybody to fulfil. Turn to mythology for that, but it’s inappropriate there and this one meant well.

“I’ll stop embarrassing you if that’s what you want.” His hands were on my shoulders. He turned me around and I didn’t look at him, much less respond. He could sense I was ashamed. His hands slowly trailed down over my arms to hold my wrists in a grip I could, with effort, free myself from. “Does the mere mention of sex with no context whatsoever embarrass you, princess?” He knew it did, leaning forward with twinkling eyes and a complacent half-smile. “Your face is red.”

“And you’re a fucking genius, congratulations,” I spat with sarcastic disgruntlement. He pulled me forward so that I bumped into his chest. My shoulders jumped in surprise. I didn’t want to look him in the eye but the sight of the marks I’d left on him were no less embarrassing to behold. My heart sped up and I was pouting, flush against him with nowhere to go.

“It speaks,” he whispered by my ear. His hands retraced their steps over my arms and shoulders, gently gliding against the sides of my neck until they held my face. “Does it want to go up to my room?” Blue specks in a pool of melted silver. The question was genuine, in spite of being masked with slight mockery. The adult of us two. I tried to stay mad, but it was impossible. I promised the blue specks I’d count them later and then we were kissing. It was a funny picture – the whole of this situation – ridiculous but somehow not fictional. It was him lifting me off the floor and me wrapping my legs around him. It was him making step after step, steady and careful not to drop me while I snickered into his mouth. It was me being a literal koala and then it was us, hearing the jingle of keys.

“Shit,” I cursed, parting from him with a smack. He let go and I could catch only a glimpse of the panic on his face before I was running up the stairs. I’d barely closed the door behind us when I heard my mother greeting the empty kitchen downstairs. While I breathed out in relief, Levi was already heading to the balcony. It occurred to me that there was a pack of condoms on my nightstand and they were stolen. I’d need to make a trip to the pharmacy and replace the box. Talk about inconvenient. “Careful now,” I piped while the intern was preparing to make the jump, “we don’t want you to fall.” He gave me a half-hearted glare but said nothing.

When he was gone, I plopped down on my bed and grinned incredulously at the ceiling. This “secret sex” thing we were about to dive into wasn’t how I’d imagined the weeks prior to my first year in university, but oh, well. Expect the unexpected and if unable to – just accept it. This officially marked the beginning of my longest stay in City of Dumbassery. It was surprising, however, that I wasn’t alone in there. Twice as surprising that I’d be stuck with my father’s intern. Whom I was having sex with. Amazing. Spectacular. Asshole-me would have my ass for that.

tag list: @unloved-cadillac ; @donaldthrts

[beezlub]

Requests Information; ♡ requests will be done on a first come, first serve basis! ♡ i do have a right to refuse any requests that i personally do not feel comfortable doing ♡ i can write OCs if commissioned, but any requests sent through my inbox will be X Reader to make them more applicable to readers alike

what i write; ♡ X Reader primarily ♡ romance, fluff, angst, friends-to-lovers, smut*. basically anything under the sun tbh ♡ *smut is a rare thing i will write for a request. i will write it for characters i know are canonically of-age. i will though, write nsfw headcanons of under 18 characters, but not the actual act itself (if that makes sense) ♡ AUs & canon ♡ M/M, M/F, F/F ♡ feel free to add in any details you'd want!! (ex; hogwarts legacy; fem reader, hufflepuff, song 'yellow' by coldplay, sebastian and reader go on their first date to hogsmeade and they end up dancing in the snow under the fairy lights in the plaza). make it as detailed as you want, or give me free reign lolol

what i will NOT write; ♡ heavy gore ♡ furry related stuff ♡ fandoms i am not currently in ♡ school papers

fandom list; ♡ Hogwarts Legacy - Sebastian Sallow, Ominis Gaunt, Garreth Weasley, Poppy Sweeting, Anne Sallow, Imelda Reyes, Amit Thakkar, Aesop Sharp ♡ Attack on Titan - Levi Ackerman, Eren Yeager, Armin Arlert, Mikasa Ackerman, Jean Kirschtein, Reiner Braun, Annie Leonhart, Hanji Zoe, Connie Springer, Pieck Finger, Sasha Braus, Erwin Smith ♡ My Hero Academia - Katsuki Bakugo, Izuku Midoriya, Shoto Todoroki, Hitoshi Shinsho, Ejiro Kirishima, Tamaki Amajiki ♡ Genshin Impact - Albedo, Alhaitham, Beidou, Cyno, Diluc, Zhongli, Jean, Kazuha, Ayaka, Ayato, Kaveh, Keqing, Lisa, Neuvillette, Ningguang, Ei, Childe, Tighnari, Traveler, Xiao, Yae ♡ Honkai Star Rail - Asta, Blade, Bronya, Dan Heng, March 7th, Gepard, Himeko, Jing Yuan, Kafka, Luka, Luocha, Natasha, Sampo, Seele, Trailblazer, Welt ♡ Stranger Things - Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington, Nancy Wheeler, Robin Buckley, Johnathan Byers ♡ Haikyuu!! - Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Nishinoya, Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kuroo, Kenma, Oikawa, Issei, Iwazumi, Bokuto, Ushijima, Satori, Atsumu, Osamu ♡ Baulder's Gate 3 - Astarion, Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Gale, Halsin ♡ Stardew Valley - Abigale, Alex, Elliot, Emily, Haley, Leah, Maru, Penny, Sam, Sebastian, Shane ♡ Yellow shaded fandoms are the ones i'm active the most in at the moment! ♡ Listed are the characters I'd write anytime! If there isn't a character listed that you want, feel free to ask in your request! There is a minimal amount of characters from these fandoms that I won't write for lolol.

thank you for reading all of this! if you wanna request something, please do! i love writing for all of you and including all the little details you guys ask for. if you're interested, just go to my little asks/reqs box and type away to your heart's content!