#Hated by Life Itself.

[utaitemusic]

I don’t need dreams or even a tomorrow, If you’ll have lived on then that’s all I need. Yeah... That’s actually what I want to sing about.

[callieloid]

tuning test with beloved hotaru <3 I'll finish her voicebank soon I prommy...

[four-pointed-leaf]

helping hand

[weareallgonnaliveforawhile]

Y'all know those fanfics where Saiki is an asshole to Teruhashi or really rude to her until they start dating? Yeah, this is what I imagine what that Saiki meeting Canon Saiki would be like.

Canon Saiki: So do you still deal with Teruhashi?

Fanfic Saiki: I can not avoid that woman. The other day she was bothering me when a mob of her fans showed up so I teleported away and-

Canon Saiki, surprised: You revealed your powers to her?! I mean, her fans do suck, so I can understand panicking and teleporting the both of you away-

Fanfic Saiki: What? No, I teleported myself away and left her there.

Canon Saiki: You what.

Fanfic Saiki: I teleported myself away. Well actually, I was the one who kinda summoned that crowd so that she'd be too overwhelmed with them to go find me-

Canon Saiki, shaking with murderous rage: You what.

[oyasumiya]

hated by life itself

[skrunksthatwunk]

actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.

he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.

a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).

but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.

and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.

he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.

and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal

[mollysunder]

Shimmer & The Glorious Evolution: A Love Story

We can see how a specialized high quality strain of Rio's shimmer can alter the biology of living organisms to make users produce their own shimmer, as is the case with Jinx. So what will happen now that Rio's specialized shimmer has been exposed to an artificial life form, i.e. the hexcore?

What Has the Hexcore Done Without Shimmer?

Prior to the hexcore's exposure to shimmer infused blood we've only seen it capable of releasing short bursts of massive energy when Viktor experiments with it.

When exposed to human blood the hexcore reacted by "consuming" a drop of it. The blood effected the entire magical dimension the hexcore connects to by turning it to a shade of purple similar to the plants found in Singed's cave.

Later we see that this newly blood infused hexcore's magic turned purple and is able to not only react to organic matter such as plants, but stimulate their growth in turn (not for long of course). The affected plants also take on the purple tinge similar to the hexcore's magic.

What Have We Seen the Shimmered Hexcore Do So Far?

Once Viktor exposed the hexcore to his shimmer infused blood it was capable of producing a longer lasting stable state with its test subject twice. Initially, what exactly happened to Viktor's leg was up to interpretation, but later on animators in Bridging the Rift confirmed that Viktor's new leg and hand are made of metal.

This means that the hexcore took Viktor's flesh and shimmer infused blood (more than the first time) and exchanged it for an arcane/shimmer configured metalic replacement. His skin is gone and we're looking at what his muscle has been converted to.

The transmutation of Viktor's hand and leg into metal could have only been facilitated through the use of shimmer. It was likely the remaining shimmer in Viktor's system that prevented him from being absorbed into the hexcore. Without a sufficient amount of shimmer, a regular human hand does not equal a shimmerized arcane metalic hand. The flesh, bone, and blood of an entire adult woman and a pitance of shimmer is worth the hand it provides.

What Will Happen Next Season?

The further the hexcore directly interfaces with organic matter the more similar it becomes in appearance and ability to shimmer. Where it improves health and strength at increasing biological costs. Once Viktor realizes that he's missing the "Inspiration" rune, the rune matrix will finally be complete and reach a "stable" state.

A "stable" state could mean the hexcore could reliably interact with and alter organic matter like Rio's shimmer is capable of. Based on the notes Sky left behind, her research focused on plant biology. In theory, a "perfect" hexcore could not only stimulate plant life to grow impressively, they could be durable enough to survive in extreme environments like Zaun.

While there is evidence that shimmer and its byproducts can enhance plant growth, especially in Zaun, there is a catch. Any plant affected by a hexcore corrupted by Rio's specialized shimmer would be altered in a way that makes them capable of being producing shimmer independently.

Just from Viktor's experiment with a hexcore exposed to a single drop of blood, the plants began to glow purple like the plants Rio would eat and break down into shimmer. Except, like Jinx the hexcore would pass down its own strain to the plant subjects that's compatible with the hexcore's "exchange" requirements.

But why would Viktor want to create plants capable of producing MORE shimmer for Zaun. Simple! Without shimmer you can't get... The Glorious Evolution. It's already been mentioned that Viktor's limbs have become metal, and to make his transformation complete he'll need more shimmer. For others to become like him, he needs more shimmer.

but...

Who Would Be Willing to Follow the Herald's Path?

Shimmer addicts like Huck and those who live in the sump with dying flesh and residual concentrations of shimmer in their bodies could be "healed" from their state of deterioration through the hexcore.

In Bridging the Rift we actually saw an unfinished clip of Viktor reaching his metalic hand to reach out and grab the face of a shimmer addict. Upon further inspection of the unidentified character's scars, we can guess this is Huck.

There's also the underlying culture of flesh sacrifice in Zaun, which is actually in the same vein as the Church of the Gloriously Evolved. In League, specifically through Camille's lore, the Church of the Gloriously Evolved actually exists outside of and likely before the Machine Herald came to the scene. The Church's roots even stretch into both Zaun & Piltover.

They believe that you must sacrifice something close and dear (like diseased flesh) with the faith that something better will take its place. Splinters of this organization likely made Silco an object of worship admiring his power and assuming the shimmer he brought was the miracle they sacrificed so much for already. Without Silco and his shimmer, Viktor and his hexcore would become the Church's new object of adoration as they bring shimmer AND immediate transmutation.

Finally, there's Sevika. In the tarot seen, Sevika drew a winning hand with a pair of card, Death and The Magician, that resemble Jinx and Viktor respectively. The scene may foreshadow that Jinx and Viktor will be the trump cards to win her Zaun's independence. But How will that work with Viktor?

You could argue that Sevika could bring Viktor in to repair her arm, but there's an entire industry backed up by a chembaron, Smeech, to fulfill that need. Viktor's going to need to bring something new to the table to be brought into the fold, and that could be shimmer infused plants and the "healing" properties of the hexcore. And I'm sure Sevika's pragmatic enough to know that for Zaun to survive Piltover's retaliation she'll need to bolster her resources in manpower and shimmer... lots of it.

Whether Sevika will be able to handle the cult of personality around the Machine Herald, especially if Jinx ends up siding him is a whole other discussion.

[antidisneyinc]

so I'm learning that outside of the usual deluge of violent racism at having to see black skin onscreen, one of the major complaints about the acolyte is that it yet again doesn't portray the jedi as pure unabashed heroes who never did anything wrong. which is an issue I've seen in the tags on this site for other star wars things before and it is such an absolutely freakish hill to die on. why is the jedi's purity as an institution so important to you. are you vicariously defending a real life institution you believe to be pure and unproblematic? 🤨 why do you think what happens to the jedi is only tragic if they embody some ideal of heroism that doesn't exist? why do you demand that they fill a two dimensional role of goodness that isn't necessary in stories that go beyond the binary of empire vs. rebels? why are you allergic to exploring the flaws that exist in every religious organization fictitious or otherwise? why does this world need to be a cartoon in order for it to make sense to you?

[yumeyumeappleo]

it's incurable </3

[oceanwithouthermoon]

ive never liked powerless saiki aus because the entire conclusion of the series is him accepting his powers as being a part of him that he cant change so like.. in aus where the power remover works, half of his development is erased..

if he had been "powerless" for longer, we wouldve gotten to see him realize this himself and im genuinely sad that we didnt.. we got to see him realize that being powerless wasnt the change he wished it would be and that its something he cant change, but its literally over a two day long period and we miss out on sooo much potential development..

and then in aus where hes born powerless, people think he would have the exact personality and development that he THOUGHT he would if he got rid of/didnt have his powers, like NO ? "without powers he would be another satou-" NO he would be a shy, borderline flamboyant, weird, awkward, genius LOSER.

he would have a more normal relationship with his brother (still probably competitive but in a way more average sibling way and kusuke wouldnt have had the motivation to become so murderous) and he would probably be even more friendless but with less trauma.. he may or may not have ever befriended akechi at all, and the classroom incident wouldnt have happened.. even some of his current friends might not be around if not for coincidences due to his powers or direct involvement from his powers.. (nendo and kaido would for sure still be there though, but this only ensures the idea that he would be the biggest fcking loser ever)

he would still be saiki, but. his powers are a key part of him. he would be totally different without them, but NOT in the way he thinks he would..

[utaitemusic]

In truth, I couldn’t care a bit if I died, but I’d be pretty sad if the people around me did I suppose it’s some kind of ego; that goes "because I just wouldn’t like it"

[lichilly]

“I had all and then most of you

Some and now none of you.

Take me back to the night we met.”

— The Night We Met by Lord Huron

cw implied death, angst, OWWW OWWWIE OWWW

The day starts as usual.

The sun rises, birds chirping as you push open the balcony door to let the morning air in. Joseph steps out, a cigarette already between his fingers. You join him, two mugs of coffee in your hands. He takes one from you with a grateful smile, you both settle into the routine.

The day is beautiful. The suns warm embrace on your skin makes you want to linger there forever, soaking in her rays.

“What d’ya want for breakfast?” he asks, smoke curling lazily from his lips.

You ponder for a moment, imagining the taste of different dishes. “How about…pancakes?” you suggest, feeling your mouth water at the thought.

Joseph chuckles, stubbing out his cigarette and taking a final gulp of his coffee. “Pancakes it is then.”

You eat breakfast together at the table. Joseph flips through his script between bites, humming under his breath and glancing at the clock occasionally. A quiet sigh escapes him as he polishes off his plate.

He rises, placing his dirtied plate on the sink, setting his empty mug on top. He walks over to you, gently pushing your hair back and kissing your forehead.

“I gotta go. I’ll see you later, okay?”

You hum, cheeks warming from the kiss. “I’ll pick up stuff to make your favorite for dinner tonight. I know we haven’t had it in a while.”

His eyes light up, “Sounds like a plan.”

He heads towards the entryway, grabbing his jacket. He looks back at you, a smile still lingering on his lips.

“Don’t worry, filming shouldn’t take long today. I’ll be home before you know it.”

The butterflies in your stomach flutter with his words.

“Okay, I’ll see you later,” you reply, eyes droopy with morning grogginess and love.

The door clicks shut behind him, you watch a moment longer. Your eyes trace over the knob, down the mysterious crack in the wood, and watch his shadowy steps fade away. A sudden uneasiness creeps in, filling your gut with a syrupy ache. The butterflies no longer flutter, their wings cut, leaving you with a heavy feeling in their place.

You try to shake it off, but the feeling lingers, the knot in your stomach tightening with each tick of the clock. Hour after hour, minute after minute, you try to distract yourself with meaningless chores. You go grab things for dinner, the hustle and bustle of the store creating a dull hum over the pit in your stomach. A weak balm that doesn’t last the second you step through the apartment door again.

Night falls, groceries left forgotten on the counter. Seconds tick by painfully slow, each one a reminder of his absence. You can’t shake the feeling that something is terribly wrong.

Joseph doesn’t return that night, or any night after that.

[gearbit]

Catch the Wave by Kz (livetune) - 16th Anniversary Fan Film

Art/Animation - Omutatsu Movie - Eneki Remix - Guiano Vocaloid Edit - Bibi

[stuckinapril]

i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????

[smokeandhubris]

i love love love media that loves the world. i want to be reminded that the universe is so incomparably beautiful and complex. i want to be shown that life is messy and broken and it hurts so bad but it’s so so so beautiful and you can’t help loving it anyway. there are people out there, wonderful ones who will stay by your side if you’ll let them. there is the sun and the warmth of it and the light. there is the path between the trees and the sandwich shop down the road and the river in the paddock and is that wonderful and isn’t that worth living for. i love when media tells you it’s okay to be broken and it’s okay to be hurting and it’s okay to live despite it. tell me i am worth saving. tell me to listen to the rain falling on tin rooftops and fall in love with life. tell me that the world loves me too.

[nedlittle]

need the historical romance girlies to go back to their roots and read forever amber (1944)