#Haven't seen this floating around so thought I'd share

[ahhhsami]

A Simple Trick for Fic Writers

Hey, if you're a fic writer and a character speaks in a different language, you don't just have to add the translation in the notes. Use the following HTML coding to add 'text on hover' to the word(s). If the reader is on a computer they can hover over the text to see the translation.

<span title="This is the text in the box!">This is the text that shows in your fic!<;/span>

Here are some examples from a fic on my AO3.

This coding here <span title="a fool, idiot (lit. emptyhead)">Eyn utreekov&lt;/span> will show this on hover.

This next example shows that you can add a lot of text. The formatting is the same as above.

PS: When doing this, there may be spacing issues, but you can edit the text through AO3's html or rich text editor. From there you can add italics (like I did), bold, etc, and fix any weird spacing issues. Just be careful not to delete the coding that you worked so hard on 😂

[ecogirl2759]

~~~NEW UPDATE~~~

(I'M A DUMBASS WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TUMBLR WORKS SO IF YOU SAW THIS ALREADY NO YOU DIDN'T)

I'm glad people liked my 4コマ KINGS post so much lol. I love spreading the word about obscure lore :)

Under the cut I've responded to some of my favorite tags, given a little more backstory into the source of these pictures, as well as posted a few new ones :D

There's also a question at the very bottom that I'd love to hear opinions on, but no pressure if y'all don't feel comfortable answering ^w^

You're welcome >:D

Same, bro. I was basically thinking that the entire time I was reading these books lol

I feel like I should give a little context to these comics and where they come from lol. I wasn't very clear about the backstory in my original post. I do agree, when I found these, I thought they were super important, too, particularly because I don't think a lot of the fandom knows about these books lol.

The Danganronpa 4コマ KINGS anthology series was published in the early 2010's featuring a bunch of different artists. The series is 4 volumes long and published by Spike Chunsoft, meaning, while these aren't necessarily canon, they ARE official :)

There is another series of anthologies in relation to both the first and second games, but I don't have those.

The first two volumes of this series is relatively well documented. There are sites where English translations have already been added to all of the comics in them (I'm pretty sure), as well as some screenshots popping up on places like Pinterest.

The third and fourth installments, however, are really poorly archived. The third has some content from it floating around, but it's hard to come by. The fourth had almost no information on it no matter where I searched.

I say this because a while ago I found the ONLY pictures of the Mastermind!Taka comic on this really old Tumblr blog from 2014 and REALLY wanted to figure out what it was about. (Didn't help that I couldn't read some of the bubbles in those photos.) First I searched for an English translation (there wasn't (so I'm working on one hehe)), then I tried to find which book it was even from, and NOTHING!

These books, since they were in circulation around 2014-ish, have stopped being printed, so copies of them are very hard to come by. Luckily, I was able to get my copies from a kind stranger on Ebay :)

-NOW-

Here are a few more pictures that I thought were funny/interesting that I couldn't add in my first post because of the picture limit lol.

Sorry for the really long post, I just thought it'd be interesting to share :)

Here's the page of artists that contributed to this anthology! Please go check them out (or see if they have any socials since it's been so long). Some credits change per volume, hence how many photos there are. (And sorry for my hand, it's hard to hold these open lol.)

You've probably all seen the covers, but have you seen what's behind the covers? (Also including the opening illustrations. These have probably been posted online already as well, but they're worth including imo.) (Again, please excuse the fingers, I'm trying my best ;-;)

^ Sayaka came with a smudge :( she still pretty tho

So, uh, remember when I said Hifumi made ship fodder? ......Here it is. Eat your heart out lol

Also remember when I said that Mondo's hair was fluffy and bouncy? Here's the proof:

Sakura has been de-buff-ified twice LMAO

ALSO remember when I said Syo was a fan of BL? ...... :)

ALSO remember when I said Kyoko was kinda socially awkward?

(Context: Kyoko sees Kiyotaka and Mondo calling each other bro and, thinking it'll strengthen their bond as well, calls Makoto "Makoto-oniichan," or "big brother Makoto" lol. Also, second picture says "I have come to save you, Makoto")

Chihiro Shinji chair meme

I'm at my picture cap, but there's a lot I haven't brought up lol

-SO-

For a different thread, would people like me to find pictures of certain characters? (i.e. just photos of the characters looking cool/hot/stupid without a lot of the text.) Because I am totally willing to do that :)

I've already got a lot on Byakuya, Sakura, Aoi and Mondo for all you simps out there, and it's not hard to find even more lol.

So lmk :D

[psychewritesbs]

Food for thought but here's an interesting video about the psychology of the trinity and I'm curious as to what your thoughts on this and how Gege might be applying this in JJK considering the concept of threes is arguably prevalent in the series.

https://youtu.be/LAR6FPBPbmA?si=61IoNkA2M7w8dPIb

ohoho anon. I even made a little diagram about it that I just absolutely have to share because the brainrot was so good.

This is the thing, maybe this amounts to something, maybe it doesn't, but these are the things my nerdy brain lives for in jjk. ESPECIALLY because they show Gege's level of metaphorical thinking.

I remember this one time this jjk anti told me "I am sure Gege does his research, but jjk is not that deep". Bro... this isn't research, this is deep understanding of the dynamics of the psyche.

Anyways, Analytical Psychology in jjk under the cut'o.

In fact... MBTI anon, this one might be for you... I'd be curious to read your thoughts.

God I missed using that meme.

First things first. Max Derrat! YES. I've only seen a few of his videos, but what I've seen has always been very, very interesting stuff. Guess how I found him?

Dun dun dun...

Jacob's Ladder.

I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THIS MOVIE.

So, anyone reading this, go watch the movie and the yt video shared by anon if interested. The movie is a mindfuck, my favorite kind.

About the video...

TLDW; Max basically talks about why the number 3 is considered a sacred number in numerology. For example, Max argues that we often see Gods that come in triads (i.e. Zeus and his brothers Neptune and Hades), but argues that 4 is actually a number of wholeness.

I had rambled about numerology and the significance of 3 and 4 before here. But here's the text again (context: mind = body = soul in jjk as representing the 3 major clans):

Thing is, we are ideally meant to think of it as if this holy trinity (3) makes up one whole together (4). This "whole" is called the Self in Jungian terms, and it is thought to be the entirety of our existence (mind (includes the shadow) + body + soul). Also, from a numerology and esoteric standpoint, you also want to consider that four (the Self) symbolizes stability and order, where three (mind + body + soul) is harmonious but not balanced.

But I really like that Max brought up the Kabbalistic tree of life for his example of why 4 = wholeness. I'm not going to go into all that tho. Suffice it to say he brings up Jung's Answer to Job, which I have not finished reading, but I understand the book is basically Jung rambling about why God is basically an asshole.

Don't quote me on this.

Part of the conclusion that Jung came to is that if God (1) represents "good" then he is not omnipotent because there is an opposite energy to "good", and that is "evil", or Satan (2).

Now, Max talks about how the Holy Trinity (3) represents aspects of God (or something like that), but that Satan, who is on an equal level as God (because good vs evil are opposing energies), got pushed into the shadow (4).

Again, Max does a much better job at explaining how this works, but the whole thing totally reminded me of Jungian typology.

Excuse the chicken scratch.

In the diagram above, you can replace mind (spirit), body (the son), soul (the Father) and (?) with one of the functions from the MBTI.

Mind you, I haven't studied Jungian typology in depth, and I am totally not well-versed on MBTI typology. But the gist of it is that there's 4 functions thinking, feeling, sensation, and intuition. For one reason or another, one becomes dominant, two support the dominant one, and a 4th one is underdeveloped or pushed into the shadow.

You see the pattern?

This is where we come to jjk and the one who might "emerge from the darkness, blacker than darkness. [And] purify that which is impure."

Jujutsu Kaisen

Now. I don't have the most coherent thoughts on the topic tbh. Everything is kind of a bunch of ideas floating around that I'm having a hard time grounding.

But I think of particular interest is the idea of the bath's goal being "being near evil."

But in the original Japanese text, the kanji Ura Ume uses is the kanji for devil/demon, not evil. You know, the function that got pushed into the shadow.

魔

So there's defo something here pointing at the need for wholeness and for bringing the contents of the shadow into consciousness in order to achieve said wholeness.

And what is in the deepest depths of the shadow? The devil himself. Your own worst enemy.

If you haven't already, I recommend you read Ant's meta of Megumi's character (hi Ant). Of particular interest to this whole ramble, is the idea that at the core of individuation, Megumi is being tasked with merging with his shadow and how that has greater implications...

God I love Jujutsu Kaisen...

Anon. THANKS for this ask. I am spoiled with brainrot inducing asks and I am very grateful for it.

[harleybeaumont]

Sneak Peek 👀👀👀

It's been a while since I posted but I thought I'd share some of what I have in the works!

Unintentional - Chapter 15

(It's been a long time so I hope you guys haven't forgotten about this one!)

Liam snuggled as close as he could to Max, while his hands were still cuffed to the bedpost. Last night felt like an amazing dream. Everything had turned out perfectly. Dinner, the boat ride, the blue lights he attached to the boat, the proposal.. And especially the amazing, intimate night the two of them had shared together afterwards. Life was good, great even.

Liam’s cell phone buzzed insistently on the bedside table, but without Max uncuffing him, he obviously couldn’t get it. Eh, let it go to voicemail. Liam sighed and rested his head against Maxwell’s, but before he could go back to sleep, his phone buzzed again. Then Maxwell’s started ringing.

“Hey.. babe, your phone.” Liam whispered, causing Max to wake up and look around in confusion as both of their phones continued ringing.

Max fumbled with his cell phone, placing it to his ear as he lay back next to Liam. “Yello?” He mumbled and rubbed his tired eyes. “What?!” Max shot up, gripping the phone tighter, looking back at Liam.

“What? What is it? Who is it?” Liam searched Maxwell’s stricken face. Clearly something horrible had happened. “Max! Is everyone ok?”

Maxwell blinked back tears, “Hang on a sec, Ri.” 

It was Riley… That means something awful must have happened to Drake! “Oh god, is Drake ok?!”

Max dropped the phone and quickly unlocked Liam’s cuffs. “Yes. Everyone is ok, babe.”

He grabbed the phone off of the bed and put it on speaker. “Hey Ri, Liam’s here with me. Can you, uh.. Repeat what you told me?”

Riley sighed deeply. “God.. I’m so sorry about this, guys. It looks like the world found out about your engagement already. The media is going insane.”

Mardi Gras Mayhem

(a collaborative fic I've been working on with a few other writers! I'm writing for Maxwell, Tariq, and Neville! Here's a bit of Max and Tariq's!)

Maxwell

“Tonight you are an honorary member of my bachelorette party and we are gonna make sure you have a good time.”

“Whoohoo!” Maxwell yelled as he jumped in the air with a huge grin. “I’m Max, by the way.”

The bride-to-be pointed to all the women in the group in turn. “Ginger, Allison, Mandy, and Hope. And I’m Jess.”

Max could barely contain his excitement. “How did Mandy get that adorable plushie!? I need one! Need!!!”

Mandy laughed, “Watch and learn! Ready ladies?”

Another float began making its way past and the ladies jumped up and down, screaming along with the crowd. Suddenly, the group raised their tight t-shirts again, exposing their breasts and shimming around. Maxwell watched in awe as the men on the float reached into their bag and threw cups, plushies, beads, and bejeweled flip flops right in their direction. Holy shit! The secret is.. titties!!

Tariq

“Ladies! Get out here!” Coco called out and several half dressed women emerged into the room.

“Oh dear! I’m so sorry!” Tariq covered his eyes and spun around, mortified. He had witnessed more nudity on this trip than he had ever seen in his life!

“What do we have here?” A deep voice asked curiously and Tariq lowered his hands. When he looked at the person in front of him he saw a six foot tall woman with broad shoulders, makeup, a wig cap, and a gold dress. To the left of them, a man was changing out of a button up shirt and into a rainbow halter top.

For the first time since he arrived, Tariq noticed how tall the waitresses on either side of him were. The more he looked around, the more he realized how tall everyone in the dressing room was. 

“Oh dear,” Rosy chuckled. “I think he just now figured it out!”

Tariq looked around, feeling embarrassed by his naivety. “This is a.. a..”

“A drag show, honey!” Coco laughed.

The Shower Slip Up

(I have been teasing this one for a while and I honestly have no idea why I haven't posted it yet! Gonna try to post this next week! This is a one shot from my fic Love Me The Way I Am with Maxwell x MC (Harley). I'm just gonna leave you with this one sentence 🤣🤣🤣)

If anyone had told Harley that stuffy, prudish Bertrand Beaumont would one day be laying next to her nude, she would have thought they were insane.

I am also working on the final chapter of Maxwell's Jolly Holiday, but so far it's only in my head so I don't have anything to share! 😆 😅 don't worry I didn't forget about it!

[gunsli-01]

I think DECO*27 100% knew what he was doing with Futa and Muu, and if the point he was trying to make about the both of them was internet/moral radicalization, then hats off to him because Futa is a damn good reflection of internet mob mentality and Muu is just proof that some fans are hypocrites (even Futa calling out voters for condemning him and praising Kotoko was a good detail). Hell, maybe my thoughts on Muu make me a hypocrite too.

Also, if he's been trying to do specific pairings being a juxtaposition of each other, then 03 and 04 make a lot of sense being a specific pairing (moreso than any other).

Personally, I believe everyone is allowed to be a little bit of a hypocrite when it comes to Milgram. I mean it actively promotes voting based on one's own biases. Plus, if that's what makes this experience fun for some then I say keep at it. I'd just enjoy seeing those biases interrogated more or at least noted. I feel like that's what will keep the fandom peaceful and less argumentative.

My focus is what would be fun overall, and I feel like arguing amongst ourselves isn't good for anyone. Like the shape and future of the prison changes with our choices sure but that doesn't mean the fandom space should turn into a prison in and of itself.

In my opinion it seems Deco and the writer working on Milgram Takuya Yamanaka know what they're doing. They also both did work on the Caligula Effect games. Though Takuya was the producer on the first one and the writer of the second game. I'm quite sure he gave writing input on the first one as well though.

Deco and he seem to be discussing possible outcomes from the verdicts already locked in as well.

I'm not that good with Japanese so these will just be slightly corrected google translations.

"In other words, the future changes depending on if one is "forgiven" and "not forgiven" × 10 people. The other day, I went over the possible outcomes that can occur from the current situation with DECO*27, but even for us as the producers, I realized that the future of the prison is very exciting thanks to the choice of the guards."

Though I'm fairly sure the x 10 people means across ten people or times ten. So, the future changes with each new verdict.

As someone who enjoys writing and collaborating/discussing plot points with friends I can't help being a little jealous. This seems like an incredibly fun and lively predicament to be in!

They also said this when Futa's second trial CD went on sale.

"Futa's second trial EP is on sale! I wrote the drama "Baptism of Fire" with the intent of punching the guards who participated in Milgram with all my might, so please enjoy it💪 and keep sharing your thoughts! Look forward to the release of the MV premiere of "Backdraft" from 19:00 today🔥"

So, yeah, they're moving very strategically it seems. Possibly paying attention to how people respond to the videos, maybe even seeing the popular theories floating around. They also seem to genuinely like Futa's character. He's even been compared to a puppy on the Milgram app.

Given the ideas I've seen discussed in Caligula Effect Overdose so far... They seem to enjoy depicting realistic and flawed characters. Sometimes to extreme degrees. @apatchworkstar and I have been going through Caligula Effect Overdose and boy if you think the Milgram characters are messed up then ha, ha, ha... They're a bit tame in comparison to that cast, which is saying a lot given most of them haven't committed murder. Yet somehow some of them are still easier to dislike...

I can't talk much though my favorite character in it so far is Eiji Biwasaka. He is probably one of the most dangerous people there and may have committed some crime, but I don't have confirmation of it yet just a lot of alluding to it~ Real talk he probably did that shit I think he did. Yet, at this point I'm like you've been the realest dude here this could be true, and I would just not care.

Hell, I'd probably help him cover it up at this point. Honestly, I would I know in my heart he did that shit and I'm just like huh well this isn't Milgram and I'm not a snitch this seems like a not my lane issue. Though my bias is oh shit star sign buddy; I don't see enough Pisces in media, sweet!

Things I've seen covered in the first game so far have been fatphobia, transphobia, eating disorders, doxing, assault, peeping, and a myriad of other topics that usually are not dragged to the forefront.

So, they already have some experience with discussing heavy topics and depicting discrimination realistically in various forms.

All that to say yeah, I agree with you they one hundred percent have a grasp of what they're attempting to convey. So, aggrandizing any of the prisoners is going to end up leading to some disappointments. Because they are really good at portraying horrid people and the fact that all the Milgram characters don't seem to be terrible people is more suspicious at this point.

[frombirkhallwithlove]

So I noticed on your wife’s blog that she mentioned that you also associate Taylor Swift songs with Charles and Camilla so I was wondering which ones you thought are most like them??

Thanks so much for this wonderful and inspiring question! In fact, I think that quite a lot of Taylor songs could actually be written for / about Their Majesties (they most certainly aren't but I think they "pitch perfect"). A couple of months ago, I started a little something I haven't posted anywhere yet but I'm happy to share it here (and please do let me know what you think! 🥰)

Charles & Camilla's love story in quotes from Taylor Swift songs...

"We were both young when I first saw youI close my eyes and the flashback startsI'm standin' there..."

~ Love Story (obviously 🥰)

"And I got a boyfriend, he's older than us. He's in the club doing, I don't know what"

~ Gorgeous (Camilla about Andrew... I mean he IS older then them 😅 and I'm afraid the second part was just like that as well...)

"Walked in expecting you'd be late

But you got here early and you stand and wave

I walk to you

You pull my chair out and help me in

And you don't know how nice that is

But I do

And you throw your head back laughing

Like a little kid

I think it's strange that you think I'm funny, 'cause

He never did

I've been spending the last eight months

Thinking all love ever does

Is break and burn, and end

But on a Wednesday in a cafe

I watched it begin again"

~ Begin Again (because Charles treated her so much better than A. and sadly she hadn't only spent eight months but in fact five years with him at that point 👀)

"And I don't know why

But with you I'd dance in a storm

In my best dress

Fearless"

~ Fearless (for when Camilla found herself in love with the Prince of Wales... )

"But you know what they say, you can't help who you fall for

And you and I fell like an early spring snow

But reality crept in, you said we're too different"

~ I bet you think about me (for when they split (?) in December 1972 and Charles left to join the Navy... I do indeed bet they thought about each other all the time... 🥺)

"It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you

Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright

I go back to December all the time"

~ Back to December (for when Camilla realised that A. wasn't going to change even after their wedding and she might or might not have started to regret going back to him after Charles joined the Navy in December (!!!) of the previous year 💔

"It's nice to have a friend..."

~ obviously 🤭 (for the time they rekindled their friendship after she had married A.)

"And when I felt like I was an old cardigan

Under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favorite"

~ Cardigan (because he still managed to make her happy and feel good about herself while A. still treated her... well, the way the did...)

"And when we've had our very last kiss

My last request is

Say you'll remember me

Standing in a nice dress

Staring at the sunset, babe

Red lips and rosy cheeks

Say you'll see me again

Even if it's just in your wildest dreams"

~ Wildest dreams (before he married his first wife 😭)

"She floats down the aisle like a pageant queen

But I know you wish it was me

You wish it was me

Don't you?

Don't say yes, run away now

I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door

Don't wait, or say a single vow

You need to hear me out

And they said, "Speak Now""

~ Speak Now (if only I could go on a time traveller and do exactly that on a certain day in July '81)

"You've got a smile that can light up this whole town

I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down..."

~ You belong with me (... 😔)

"She said "James, get in, let's drive"

Those days turned into nights

Slept next to her, but

I dreamt of you all summer long"

~ Betty (for when he realised he still loved her 😭)

"'Cause there we are again when I loved you so

Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well"

~ All too well (for when they finally got back together ❤️)

"Make sure nobody sees you leave

Hood over your head, keep your eyes down

Tell your friends you're out for a run

You'll be flushed when you return

Take the road less traveled by

Tell yourself you can always stop

What started in beautiful rooms

Ends with meetings in parking lots"

~ Illicit affairs (for obvious reasons, around the late 80s/ early 90s

"Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it

My love

They are the hunters, we are the foxes

And we run

Baby, I know places we won't be found and

They'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down

'Cause I, I know places we can hide"

~ I know places (for back when they could only meet at "safe houses" from a handful of friends 🥺)

"And your secrets end up splashed on the news front page [...]

Another name goes up in lights

You wonder if you'll make it out alive"

~ The Lucky One (for 1993... 😭💔)

"My castle crumbled overnight

I brought a knife to a gunfight

They took the crown, but it's alright

All the liars are calling me one

Nobody's heard from me for months"

~ Call it what you want (for when Camilla more or less had to go into "lockdown" following the "revelations" 😔 Glad they did NOT take the crown, though)

"I've been under scrutiny

You handle it beautifully

All this shit is new to me

I feel the lavender haze creepin' up on me

Surreal, I'm damned if I do give a damn what people say

No deal, the 1950s shit they want from me

I just wanna stay in that lavender haze"

~ Lavender Haze (for the mid-90s)

"'Cause baby, I could build a castle

Out of all the bricks they threw at me

And every day is like a battle

But every night with us is like a dream"

~ New romantics (mid-/late 90s)

"Seems like there's always someone who disapproves

They'll judge it like they know about me and you

And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do

The jury's out, but my choice is you

So don't you worry your pretty, little mind

People throw rocks at things that shine

And life makes love look hard

The stakes are high, the water's rough

But this love is ours"

~ Ours (for when they finally "went public" from 1999 onwards 🥰❤️

"Romeo, save me, I've been feeling so alone

I keep waiting for you, but you never come

Is this in my head? I don't know what to think

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said, "Marry me, Juliet

You'll never have to be alone

I love you and that's all I really know

I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress

It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes""

~ Love Story, for when he finally asked her and she agreed 😍😍😍😭

"But in your life you'll do things

Greater than dating the boy on the football team

But I didn't know it at fifteen"

~ Fifteen (because I think our darling girl really had no idea that she was going to do MUCH greater things in her life than dating/marrying a certain Cavalry Officer even at 25... and probably not even at 57, when she finally married her Prince 🤭)

"I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night

And now I see daylight, I only see daylight"

~ Daylight (because she was finally married to the love of her life and slowly but surely began to discover her potential and became more and more confident in her role 🥰)

"Stick with me, I'm your Queen."

~ London Boy (for when destiny fulfilled itself and she did become his Queen... 🥺😭)

"Long live the walls

We crashed through

How the kingdom lights shined

Just for me and you

I was screaming long live

All the magic we made

And bring on all the pretenders

One day we will be remembered"

~ Long Live (because the kingdom lights will shine for them on May 6th 😍😍😍)

[systemquirks]

Figured I'd share a few of our quirks since I'm bored.

For some reason we have an excessive amount of nonhuman fictrojects, specifically alien or robotic fictrojects, mostly due to our interests in specific media. Like. Around 59% of our system is nonhuman and around 22% is alien/robot.

We also have several alter relationships, I think more so than I've seen in other systems? At least in the ones I've talked to. This includes a 9-10 person polycule. And with a very fictroject heavy system, it definitely makes it a little interesting lol. We get a little scared talking about it because even though it's valid and we would support someone with all our heart if we saw them talking about similar relationships, we get scared that people will fakeclaim us or think it's wierd.

I think our innerworld is pretty unique, or a the very least interesting in its own right. Most people I've heard describe their's usually as a room, a mansion, a city, or even a world. Ours is a floating island that's actually a fragment of a destroyed parallel/alternate universe. One of our alters was supposedly the god of that universe(we know this stuff through psuedomemories, obviously this isn't the truth, its just how our brain sorta rationalizes it), they're pretty cool. They're kind of like the system's mom but also sje makes sure we stay away from a place we call the hangar(a place below the island where dormant/'unfinished' alters stay, looks sorta like an airplane hangar). There's also a little beach that waterfalls off the side and a big hologram room. Most of the buildings on the island are in a circle, but there's nothing really in the middle other than a small playground and a normal tree. There's also a pathway of little canal sorta structures connected to the beach that go throughout the island and the fronting room specifically for a few siren alters we have. Also a hill with pretty blue glowing flowers. There's also a little section based on that time we went to a specific theme park. We can change it a little bit from time to time, but it's stayed mostly the same since before we even realized we had osdd(originally we thought we had madd or just a crazy imagination). A circle of buildings on a floating island in the void.

We have a few alters that are what we call "bodily caretakers" where the alter either a.) takes care of the body(eating, hygiene, etc.), or b.) reminds the fronter to take care of the body(stuff like eating, sleeping, or hygeine, or stuff like fixing posture or trying to stop bad habits). It's mostly just something we haven't seen a specific term for that we related to.

This is longer than I originally meant, but I like talking about myself and just thought I'd share. :)

- A(host of a traumagenic osdd system)

Thank you for such a great submission!!! So much to dig into.

I always find it fascinating when I hear about folks with so many fictrojects! I've only got two, myself, so it's always so interesting to hear more about others with more. We do have a large amount of non-humans, but the majority aren't fictrojects :)

I LOVE Hearing about romances in-sys. We have a large amount of in-sys relationships. Many of us are dating each other, and most of us have our own relationships between ourselves. We keep our relationships in our pinned posts on other blogs so everyone can see that we have a lot of them. I want more positivity for in-sys relations :)

Your innerworld sounds so interesting. For some reason, it reminds me of Kingdom Hearts. I hope that's not rude of me to say!

I'm actually the alter who formed who now handles some of our caretaker aspects. While I do not identify with that role, I do like the term you use here! I know many systems with "bodily caretakers," though most of them either use the term caretaker, or are hosts of their systems.

Thank you so much for sharing so much about yourself! It was wonderful :)

[heavyelectricity]

The Dark Hospital

"Hah, this'll be scary."

That's what we thought as the three of us approached the door. It was an inconspicuous thing, surely too narrow to be anything other than a decorative feature. But sure enough, the door creaked open to reveal an entryway that was no wider. The youngest was the only one of use truly excited to venture inside, and sure enough she went in first. I attempted to follow, but try as I might I just couldn't squeeze through. Neither could the third of our group. By then, it was too late to call our companion back, so we decided to find the exit and wait.

Despite our difficulty in finding the exit, the large wooden door proved to be far grander than the entryway. At the very least, it appeared to be designed for regular adults. The two of us shared a quick giggle about the doubtless terrified people that would emerge. Instead, the first person we caught leaving The Dark Hospital was smiling. The next looked like the weight of the world had been removed from her shoulders, and the third was practically skipping. The person we were waiting for? Nowhere to be seen.

Impatiently, I returned to the front door. Through sheer force of will, I managed to fit myself through the claustrophobic corridor, only to be confronted with a rather unnerving foyer. I tried to turn back, to no avail - the door was one-way. Not that it mattered, as a rather eccentric, shady-looking man had sidled up to me and started to talk to me.

As I did my best to ignore the distractions from my unwanted guide, I took note that this was a most unusual hospital. Not a bed in sight, nor an operating theatre. Surgical equipment was entirely absent, and the stark, fluorescent lighting you'd expect wasn't there either - though I suppose that fit the name of the establishment. There was some sort of lighting, but if its source could be traced, I wasn't able to do it. Whether that was a failure of my eyesight or simply distraction from the irritating man, I don't know.

What I do know is what this unseemly gentleman knew, and what he knew was a lot. A lot about me. Intensely, uncomfortably personal things about me. Following ten minutes of non-stop harassment, I started to answer some of his questions, in the hope that he might find satisfaction and leave me alone. All I wanted was to find her and get out.

My efforts were to no avail. Whether through luck or judgement, the "Doctor" - his title, not one I recognised - had detected the dishonesty in my answers. Maybe, if I told him the truth, he would cease his relentless questioning? Of course not. If anything, that just made it worse - the questions became more intrusive and harder to answer. Lying wasn't an option, but the truth…

I'm falling. The colours are dazzling, an otherworldly roar fills the air. The floor is tilted at near enough a right angle and my fingertips are aching, as I desperately claw at anything that might stop me from tumbling into the abyss. The Doctor, by now floating in front of me, is shouting in my face - repeating all the lies I've told myself over the years, to protect myself from the reality I've feared more than anything else. Surely these are my final moments. I'm sorry I couldn't get her out. I'm sorry I ever came in. I don't want to die with regrets. I scream out the truth I'd never admit.

Silence.

No strange lights, no strange noises, no pit threatening to swallow me up. And… no more fear. I'm taken to another room, with someone friendly. There's a mirror. For the first time ever, I look in the mirror and I see myself differently - I see a person that I'm comfortable with, someone I don't hate the mere sight of. I try on some of the clothes that are around, I don't quite know if they work - but there are others in the room, and they help me out. Finally, I find something that makes me feel pretty good.

But I still haven't found her, so I have to keep going. I'm no longer so fearful for her life, but I'm intensely curious to know what she made of the whole experience. Maybe she's already left? Maybe she's waiting for me outside? So I open that big wooden door, leading back to the street outside.

The young one still isn't there. But our other companion is, and she sees me - the new me. For the first time, the real me.

And she turns, runs and screams.

[semi-imaginary-place]

ffxiv on to shadowbringers full spoilers

i joined ffxiv right around 5.2-5.3 so i actually got super spoiled on shb

really they're putting the gate at the lake and not in the special crystal tower zone where the raids were.

... are those unique animations? that wasn't the default run. wow you can really see how the funding has improved since arr.

oof that bloom effect my eyes are suffering for making a pale ass character dressed in white. the one time in videogaming history where the bloom is narratively appropriate.

so ardbert in shadow. uh i don't recognize the narrator voice. oh hey minfilia haven't seen you in forever. so why did player character get whole body teleported when all the other scions left their bodies behind. (or is the pc secretly collapsed on the source)

now i could go for the map marker.... ooooor i could run around the entire map. boooo the devs thought ahead and blocked me off.

they killed off the brenon clone immediately D:

i can't tell if it's lore significant or not but the crystal exarch's arm doesn't have the lighting effects crystal usually has. like most of the crystal in ffxiv is kinda glowy and a little translucent but the arm is matte like paint. maybe it's a graphics limitation thing idk.

is it me or does the crystal tower look different. i don't remember those basalt looking formations. there's fluffy amaljaa! was initially confused because underground is the WORST place for an herbarium but if the problem is too much light i guess it makes sense. having giant grates in the library seems like a bad idea. hmm the naming scheme seems sharlayan. why is the marketplace called universal music? its a good thing i know most of these terms from other ff games and shab spoilers otherwise if you threw like 7 new race names at me i'd cry. once again the lack of guard rails is concerning. why are the hortorium and sweetsieve no next to each other. a lot of wroght iron and glass.. art noveau? is this entire city built over silvertear lake?

great now the writers have a precedent for timetravel

exarch described feo ul as "kanojo"

ghostbert angst. i joke but i do find this sort of stuff compelling. oh that clears it up, so his title changed. because i just heard that the warriors of light killed the shadowkeeper and caused the Flood but arbert was also going around calling himself the warrior of darkness, and i didn't connect it until now but it was all them. hey this is that melody that plays whenever the pc does something heroic, played prominently in the ultima and around the end of 2.0 but here its real slow and sad.

did the faeries take over ishgard???? especially curious is the faeries are the equivalent to the sylphs. and rak'tika is the shroud equivalent. limsa was gentrified lol. what im curious about is the habitable part of novrant is shown as both an oval and a circle and i don't know which map is right.

exploring lakeland and uh is that a giant lake monster? yeh that's a giatn lake monster. why's there a road at the bottom of the lake. you guys have extremely nice outdoor furniture. like damn going to spend the budget on nice furniture instead of having a roof.

Crystarium architecturally reminds me of my highschool pet worldbuilding project about a magic crystal floating city filled with telepathic shapeshifting immortals.

shb could have been its own game. Post apocalyptic fantasy about civilization on the brink feels like a pretty standard premises minus the light and dark swap. Writers went wild with the worldbuilding. So glad i watched ffxii and xenoblade so i know what a hume is

Theres also how the crystarium is built over silvertear lake the center of all magic. Although middy isnt on the first, then why are there dragons dragonish things around. I wonder how much shared history there is between the source and the first since right around silvertear actually is the elezen homeland and thats where the elf bandits on the first are hanging out trying to reclaim their homeland.

[catchmeifyoucansalvatore]

thousand days monologue.

Versailles, I've been thinking about the last thousand days we've spent together. Sometimes I have the feeling that you have become an extension of my body, my skin and soul connected by the depth of our emotions, my sky and stars inked on the tattoos on your chest.

I am the autumn of my own life, you know? The promise of what the flowers once were and the premise of a winter that will sentence my own break. And you are my spring. Emerging from the birdsong to renew my leaves, my lost fauna. There is no winter when you are around, it never arrives, it never dares to devour my veins and turn them into stone and marble.

I know I'm lost. That my existence won't last that longer, I'm as sure of that as I need air to breathe. But you live on in me and I know that at the end of my days I will live on in you. Yesterday, when the warmth of the blankets was embraced by the acidity of our affection, you said that your whole future will be different because you met me. And that every one of your new steps would be graced by my presence and the things we shared together. I can't die, Versailles, my heart will definitely never stop as long as you remember me.

These days, I had a dream. Maybe I haven't shared it with you because these particular illusions always make me think how romantically stupid my mind can be. But anyway, we were somewhere in Europe, something like Bordeaux or Bâle. I was wearing that yellow dress, the one from my dreams - which I recently discovered as a symbol of all the incredible creations of my mind. Well, long curly hair and a satin choker. You were you, but in a Count Vronsky or Robbie Turner way. I think about that, about those details, because it was us and at the same time it wasn't us. I thought for a while, remembering these differences, that probably my mind was replaying all the romantic characters we'd seen together - but in our bodies, you know what I mean? You'd hold my hand or press my waist, at certain moments I'd feel your fingers running through my hair, holding the line of my jaw to lock your lips to mine. And I felt all the butterflies of spring floating around in my stomach, burning my blood and making me fade away in your arms like the times when my body gives up on staying awake.

Anyway, we were walking and walking and walking. And for some reason, I never got tired. Me, who can't walk a few meters without feeling exhausted, without holding your arm for fear of collapsing. Me, broken and definitely with long-standing vitamin deficiencies, walking... Walking... Walking next to you and, not even for a second, did I feel that I needed a place to sit or a shadow to regain my energy. You were right next to me, smelling of vanilla, smoke and french liqueur. I could perfectly feel the texture of your skin and at the same time the bricks, the moist summer of the european streets, the never-ending walk.

It was you who made us stop. Next to a bridge, a privileged view of the sea and the canyons, one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen in my life. I remember looking into your eyes and thinking that my agnostic nature is not neutral when it comes to you; you are a irrefutable proof that there is a superior entity and that His creations are beautiful and perfect. I kissed you. That specific kiss when we were silent, breathing each other's air, feeling each other's hearts, daring the other one to pull away first. I remember hugging you with all my force, as if I could hide in your skin, sew our bodies together so that we would never be apart - not even for a second. I don't know if God really exists and I have no connection to any religion. But sometimes I think that dream was a gift from something beyond my imagination. It was like a vision of the future and the past at the same time, as if it were us, but also Noah and Allie in 1940, surviving with what we were allowed.

It can’t be that simple. I don’t believe it. Twice my destiny to live near you was broken, until we met in the future, surrounded by drama, alcohol and recent discoveries. It is not possible that fate has so many coincidences. Our first kiss, the day we saw the moon together, the first time I went to your house to watch a movie. It’s not possible, I don’t believe that.. I feel like we had to meet. I feel like this dream has happened before and it might happen again. I believe we are more than just this coincidental wave of events. I cannot love you only in this life. We cannot be gathered a few thousand days. Not when it seems my heart will slip out of my chest whenever I see you, not when I dream of Bordeux and the way you hold me.

I don’t believe we’ll die. I believe art is preserved by time. With songs, books, poems, and particular stars. I believe that you will be eternal in me and I will be eternal in you and that we will never really leave the world; our arts never die. So I know, I’m sure of that... That even if our hearts stop beating one day, I will still be the autumn that hurts and you will be the spring that heals. I believe that we will continue to exist and remain alive in the arts. So for each of these details, I will continue writing about you until I turn to ashes.

I will keep writing about you until we become eternal. On the sands of the beach of our coastal city, or on the bricks of Bâle.

As ethereal as the thousand days that have passed.

[self-shipping-selfcare]

The Fox Monster in the Woods | Leo x Reader

《I love him <3》

✎Self Indulgent

✎Fluffy

✎Reader is Gender-Neutral

reblogs with comments > reblogs > likes

《↬.•.•✿•.•.↫》

There's rumors floating around town of a fox monster that lives in a cabin in the woods. It's a rumor told around your town, but no one has ever seen or confirmed its existence...Until today.

You heard about it from your friend and decided to investigate. Your friend decided to join but ditched at the last second, so you're alone. You wander the forest, slightly confused on where you're going, and end up making it to a small cabin. It looks like a tiny house, rustic with nature and rose themed stained glass windows. Is this where that fox monster lives?

You walk up to the door and hesitantly knock on it. A moment passes and the door opens, a short red fox wearing a suit standing at the doorway.

"Oh, hello! Come inside and warm yourself by the fire, it's quite cold out there!" He says with a happy smile, opening the door wide and stepping aside to let you in. He's right, it is pretty cold out. It's autumn and it started getting cold out, not enough to snow sadly.

"O-Okay..." You mumble, walking inside. You're surprised, you didn't expect him to be so kind- and short. He's honestly adorable with how optimistic and sweet he is.

"I made some tea, I can share if you'd like?" He asks as he walks over to the fireplace, sitting down in a rocking chair and taking a sip of some tea.

"No thank you." You say as you walk over to the fire to warm yourself up.

"Can I get you anything? Some food? A drink?" He asks, setting his teacup on a table. The table has a lit oil lantern and a single book on it, he must've been reading before you stopped by.

"I'm good, thank you." You say softly, smiling at him.

"Of course! May I ask what you're doing out in the woods by yourself? It's not often I get visitors and I don't want to assume you came out here to see little old me." He asks.

"I actually did." You say, turning towards him.

"O-Oh, really? What for?" He asks. You glance away for a moment nervously. You're reluctant to tell him; you don't want to hurt him by saying everyone in town thinks he's a monster. He's too sweet and kind to be a monster.

"W-Well..." You cave, you're going to tell him. "There's a rumor going around town about a fox monster that lives in the woods, so I decided to investigate."

"Oh really?" He asks softly, not sounding as hurt as you thought he would. "And you decided to go alone, without any equipment to protect yourself with, with the chance I'd be hostile?"

"Well, my friend was going to come but they bailed on me." You mumble, glancing away.

"But still, you didn't bring anything to protect yourself with. I don't wish to be rude but that wasn't entirely the smartest decision, with the chance that I could've been hostile and strong enough to deal any damage. Sure, it worked out in your favor, but still... If you're going to attempt something risky like this again, please be safe alright? I don't wish for you to get hurt." He says softly.

"You say that like there's more things out there." You say.

"I can't confirm nor deny that fact." He says.

"Wait, are there more of you out there?" You ask him with a shocked look.

"Well, I personally haven't seen anyone like me, but it is possible there's more people like me living in these woods. I know River lives here and she told me there's some fairies who live here as well, but I don't know if there's anything else." He explains.

"River? Who's River?" You ask.

"Oh! River is the guardian of the forest. She's very sweet, you should meet her!" He tells you.

"Oh okay..." You mumble softly. "Do you get many visitors?" You ask.

"Well, not many but there are two people who visit me almost everyday. Other than them, I don't get visited often. You're the first one in a while that isn't River or Amber." He says.

"What's your name?" You ask.

"Oh, my apologies. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Leo, what's your name?" He asks.

"My name is Y/n." You say.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Y/n." Leo smiles at you. He glances out of the stained glass window and sees the sun getting close to setting for the day. "You should probably get going, it's getting late and I want you to be safe and not lost in the forest." Leo says.

"Alright, I'll get going. It was nice to meet you too, Leo." You say as you get up, walking towards the door. "Hey, should I tell everyone that I met you, and that you were really sweet? They all believe you to be some horrible monster." You ask, your hand on the door handle.

"That would be nice, thank you. I may be a monster, but I'm not a monster. I'm human mentally, like you. That makes sense, right?" Leo says.

"Yeah, that makes sense." You say. You open the door and go to step out but Leo stops you.

"Wait..." Leo stands up and makes his way towards you. "You should probably have some proof to show them so they don't think you're lying. I know what it feels like to have someone not believe you even when you're telling the honest truth." He picks up a picture off of the shelf, handing you the picture. It's a picture of him smiling kindly at the camera. "Here, take this picture of me. I have a couple of these, so I don't need it." He smiles at you.

"Thank you." You say and take the picture.

"Of course!" He smiles at you.

"Bye Leo." You say as you begin to walk away.

"Bye Y/n!" He says and closes the door. He sits back down and continues reading his book, feeling content.

《↬.•.•✿•.•.↫》

[wh6res]

UP IN SMOKES — DOYOUNG

psych student! kdy | tw. college au, violence, a knife, GASLIGHTING, hallucination, psychosis, swearing, just pure manipulation, minor charac death, there's a court scene, this is a repost! | wc. 10k she a beast

life could’ve been simple;

you shouldn't have met kim doyoung.

what does a freshman in college hate the most other than the high-stress levels of moving into a new dorm? a shitty roomie and a smelly, moldy mattress. the girl you call roommate refuses to help move the mattress because it will ruin her new manicure. what a fucking classic. 

"sounds like a 'you' problem. figure it out yourself, plain jane." 

she said before heading out, annoyingly popping her bubblegum as she kicks a few of your scattered boxes by the front door. you roll your eyes; classes haven't even started yet, so why is she already making your life miserable? as much as you'd like to snap at her, you don't, merely glaring daggers at her back as she finally turns the corner of the hallway and disappears. 

"bitch," you mutter under your breath. 

you eye the abomination that is supposed to be your bed, cursing how you shouldn't have made a 15-minute pit stop to starbucks for a drink when you could've just bought one from the instant coffee vending machines in every corner of the hallway of this dorm building because if you didn't, maybe you could've beaten regina george wannabe from taking the better bed. sighing, you suck it up and start getting to work. life's full of shit, anyway; no point sulking.

moving a moldy mattress is easier than you thought, to say the least. you can't ask for help from the other freshmen you bumped into in the hallway because they, too, are under a huge amount of stress from the move and are busy getting their affairs in order. it was a good thing, though, that a committee was formed specifically for this day to help out the freshmen if they were to stumble upon problems or mishaps with moving in. they were all around the campus, and they prove to be way friendlier than your batch mates. since this morning, three people have already offered help in carrying your luggage — which you have politely declined.

"hey, uhm… is this the stall for the welcoming committee? oh, wait. i'm sorry, there's a sign right there —"ugh.

you mentally shut your eyes in humiliation. why do you have to be this bad, this awkward at communicating with strangers? why couldn't you be born like all those socialites who already (probably) got their contacts filled with new numbers on the first day of school or something?

"yeah, this is them — welcoming committee, i mean. how can i help you?" he smiles, sweet, radiating the epitome boy next door aura as he looks up at you from where he's sitting behind the stall. your eyes quickly land onto the name tag stuck on his varsity jacket before meeting his eyes again. 

"i have an issue with my mattress. it has mold, you see..." your voice slowly trails, becoming quieter as you feel small under the weight of his piercing stare. oh, come on. he's just a guy with a beautiful face, woman the fuck up.

"really? let me see..."

he needn't finish rounding the stall when his nose is hit by the pungent smell brought forth by your mattress. frankly, you weren't that picky. you could've covered it with bedsheets and call it a day, but the odor is too strong to ignore. you mentally hope the smell didn't latch onto your clothes, especially not when someone so cute is around — what a bad first impression.

"oh, god!" he exclaims the moment he lays eyes on it, taking a step back. “now, that has to go. and you lugged it from the fourth floor?" 

ah, yes. according to tradition in these dormitories, which you've only found out today, freshmen get the curse of climbing four flights of stairs up while the seniors strut into their rooms on the ground floor like the hallway is a goddamned runway. 

"doyoung! help me carry these!"

someone calls his name as you both turn your head to spot a chestnut-haired girl clad in the same varsity jacket he's wearing. you grimace at the sight of her. for someone so small, she just had to volunteer to carry all those heavy bags. however, he doesn't move in front of you and brushes her off as if she doesn't look like she's carrying rocks over her shoulders. "i'm already helping someone else! go find taeyong or something. i'm sure that shit's loitering around here somewhere!"

"oh, it's okay, you can go help her. i'll just look for someone else —"

"nah, it's fine!" you try hard to school your face into indifference when you notice his gummy smile. "plus… trust me when i say no other person from the committee will help you with this. this shit smells like my roommate's sweaty basketball socks!"

you can't help the smile forming on your face as you help him carry the mattress off to the side of the hallway, the stinky thing leaning vertically against the wall and behind a huge terracotta plant pot. "don't worry, let's report it to student affairs so they'll get you a new one. congrats! you'll have to share beds with your new roommate tonight, freshie. it'd be a great ice breaker."

the universe truly hates you.

your expression must've been a dead give away because he's suddenly patting your shoulder, regarding you with utmost sympathy. "been there, done that. i hated taeyong, too, when i met him last year. still, for some mind fuck of a miracle, we've grown to be friends and developed a talent of not wanting to kill each other every two seconds."

"highly doubt i'd be friends with a regina george-level bitch, but thanks, anyway," you mutter under your breath. suddenly, you whip your head towards him after internalizing what he just said. "you met your roommate last year? you're a sophomore?"

he scoffs, leaning down to your height to lowly mutter against your ear as he eyes the lobby's front desk. "why? do i look like some 4th year who radiates 'don't touch me' energy?" 

you feel the heat on your cheeks with how close he is, only releasing an exhale when he finally gets out of your personal space. "i'm kim doyoung. you've heard it from wendy earlier, but anyway — i'm a 2nd-year psych major."

"no way!" you exclaim, a little too excited. "i'm taking psych, too!"

"oh, you are? well, if you need anything or if you don't understand stuff…" he winks. "feel free to approach me anytime."

hmm… how sweet of him. 

it was only hours later that you found out who kim doyoung is in your department during the acquaintance party. and for god's sake, you found out from your best friend who is a major in english lit and has never even seen the guy. "seriously, you didn't know he's a genius? i hear the professors call him a prodigy, girl! a fucking prodigy. if i were you, i'd ask for his help in every subject."

"you know i prefer keeping to myself. how'd i know stuff like that when i have no one to talk to in the psych dorms?" you look down, making the ice cubes in your drink clink against each other. "i didn't think he was this big shot or whatever. he looks normal, and everyone treats him normally."

"well, what do you expect?" she hisses, hitting your arm. "the other students don't want to make him feel alienated or something just because he's tons smarter than them. but anyway… the real question is…"

you roll your eyes when she pauses for effect, tentatively leaning closer to whisper under her breath. 

"is he cute?"

you didn't want to answer her question, but he's been stuck in your head since he offered walking with you to the student affairs office. doyoung had smiled his cute gummy smile and had even ruffled your hair before leaving you for committee duties — saying he's cute would be an understatement. 

"you have no idea."

for his first act;

he gains your trust.

fast forward to one year, many things have changed, but the only constant remaining is the handsome sophomore — who is now a 3rd-year, by the way — whom you've met on your first day. coursework has been pretty tough this year. instead of the content written in your textbook, your mind is plagued by the horrible twist of fate your best friend had encountered; she didn't have enemies. or so you thought.

she disappeared in the middle of christmas break last year. her beaten up body was found only a month later, in january, floating around the university's lake. happy fucking new year. 

the first time she chose to spend the holidays with you instead of her family back in her hometown, and that happens? some rotten luck you both have. it's why you didn't put it past her family to hate your guts with strong convictions. it's okay. the feeling's mutual. after all, it had been your best friends' own family, the same ones who had been so willing to take you in when you got kicked out, that were so eager to pin you as the murderer of their child. all under the argument that you have been the last person seen with her. 

oh, the things her mom said about you when she had stormed into the police station, red in the face, tears streaming down her cheeks..."i warned my baby not to hang out with that — that bitch. came straight out of a cursed family, that one. abusive dad, a nutjob mom. that bitch is a danger! probably got her dad's nasty temper and beat my baby to death! i want her on the electric chair!"

in those times, you once again realize this world is fucked up and cruel in every bit of its glory as you fought tooth and nail to defend yourself. but even then, they never believed you — the law will only favor the rich . the prosecution had been so sure it was you until a certain witness appeared and presented himself before the jury.

"do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" 

doyoung raises his right hand, fixing his stare straight at the judge. "i solemnly and sincerely declare that the evidence i shall give will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

"how long have you known the defendant?" the prosecutor asks, arms crossed in front of her chest as she paces in front of the witness stand.

the boy briefly meets your gaze, and it's enough to make his heart sink. doyoung can't bear seeing you in those grey overalls when he knows it himself. you're being accused of a crime you didn't commit. "i've known her for one year."

"how'd you meet?"

and the questions went on and on; your defense attorney isn't all too keen on winning the case and had never once yelled "objection!" in her seat, but what could you expect? all the evidence kept stacking against you, and some of those you knew were even fabricated. you've never felt this hopeless in your whole twenty years of living. 

"what's the point in this, anyway?" doyoung snapped in the witness stand, fiercely glaring at the prosecutor. "how is my history — or lack thereof — with the defendant any relevant to the case? you're not even asking me about evidence nor what my statement is!"

"easy there," the prosecutor retaliates, jaw locked. "i have to first measure what exactly your relationship is with the defendant for us to think twice about your statement. who knows..." the prosecutor makes a grand gesture of turning her head in your direction, affixing you with a condescending stare. "she might've just hired you to say these things."

your attorney doesn't come to your aid.

"perjury isn't my thing." 

the prosecutor seems to have taken offense by the tone of doyoung's voice, but he doesn't let her speak further. "the victim isn't all sunshine and rainbows, you know. she'd been a part of a sorority and one with quite a nasty reputation in the college, too. i have to say she made very poor decisions, ones i'm sure her family didn't even know about. you see, they take their oaths and pledges very seriously. the victim wanted out. they didn't like that."

"and you have evidence to support this claim?"

without a moment to waste, he digs around the front pocket of his jeans before proudly presenting a black usb between his slender fingers. "knock yourself out."

the professor calls your name, snapping you out of your reverie. this isn't the first time your mind had transported you back to that particular day in the courtroom, where doyoung had swooped in and saved you from a lifetime in prison. the whole ordeal had been so scary, so frightening that you remember everything vividly as if it had only happened yesterday.

the classroom is empty. even your social psych professor has long packed up his stuff and is already standing by the classroom door. damn. were you that out of it?

"i'm so sorry." you mutter under your breath monotonously as you walk past him and out the door without another word. this is bad, very bad. no one would help, much less lend their notes to someone charged with murder — especially of their very own best friend. whether you were innocent or not doesn't matter to the student body. you've been ostracized, gossips of your problematic family spreading like wildfire, and the ridiculous part is only a fourth of the gossips are true.

the damage is done. 

at this point, you realize with a heavy heart that you have to face doyoung again sooner or later. you haven't talked to him at all since the start of the new school year, ignoring his lighthearted greetings in the hallways, rejecting his calls, ghosting his texts. you are afraid people would judge him harshly for hanging around you. frankly, you were embarrassed to ask any more favors from him with how much he's done for you already and the fact that he had seen you in such a state of vulnerability.

but you also didn't want to fail your subjects and lose the one thing holding your life together — your scholarship.

that is why you found yourself standing before him, in his favorite spot in the library tucked behind shelves upon shelves of books, next to the windows overlooking the empty football field. he's wearing black-rimmed glasses and is clad in the usual navy blue sweater as his head turns to and fro between a textbook and his notebook. the air had been so silent, you hear the aggressive scratches his pencil makes against the paper.

you feel a little hurt when he makes no move to acknowledge your presence, but you think back to what you have been doing and figured he has a right to act this way. 

"hey, doyoung." your voice is meek, hesitant.

"if you're not here to explain nor give me an acceptable reason why you've been ignoring me for the last few months, then please get out of my sight. i'm busy, as you can tell." he is brutally honest, knocking down the remaining hope you have left of ever reconciling with him.

something within you snaps, the steady streams of tears running down your cheeks as you pinned your stare on doyoung's open pencil case lying on the table. you have nobody left. your family — father, specifically speaking — has disowned you for taking a course your heart wanted, and the one friend you have lies motionless in a white coffin buried six feet under the ground. you didn't want to lose doyoung, too, no matter what role he plays in your life.

"i'm sorry," your voice cracks. "life's been… fucking shitty, and i'm sure you of all people know what i've been through. i've thanked you before for — for what you did, and i'm thanking you again right now but — i'm sorry, i'm really —"

your voice cracks when you feel him pulling you into an embrace. you feel the tension in your body breaking loose as you crumble in his arms. all those months grieving and wallowing in self-pity took such a heavy toll that you can't help but tightly clutch the sides of his hoodie, scared he'll slip through your fingers.

one of his hands comes up to push your face against the crook of his neck, muffling your cries in the silent library. doyoung felt like a jerk for snapping at you the way he did. how inconsiderate can he be? however, he felt elated because you sought him out yourself and wanted his help of all people.

his eyebrow raises in amusement. 

well, not that you have a choice, anyway.

it took you a few good minutes to calm down, cringing when you see the wet patch on doyoung's sweater because of your tears. 

"why don't you tell me everything, hmm? i'll help you as much as i can."

you sheepishly look down, fiddling with your fingers as you sit across him, the open textbook and notebook before him long forgotten. "well, i've been so out of it lately? my mind's just a whole bloody mess and i can't focus on any of my subjects at all and if i can't, then i'll lose the scholarship and it's the only thing i have in my life right now —"

"hey," doyoung cuts you off, placing a warm hand against your forearm to calm you down. "you won't lose that scholarship. trust me, okay? why don't we arrange tutoring sessions and i'll even lend you some of my notes from last year. what do you think?"

"okay... thank you, doyoung."

"for the record, you have me in your life, too. i'll always be here for you."

in the first session, you woke up from your deep slumber with only 15 minutes to spare from the scheduled time, but thankfully, your tutor only lives one floor down with the rest of the 3rd-years. bringing nothing with you but a pen and a pad of paper, your textbooks were destroyed as some students from your batch thought it'd be fun to throw them into the lake to "honor" your friend. 

you offer a small smile when taeyong opens the door, sporting an oversized shirt and track pants, eyes wide in shock when he sees you. "hi? can i help you?"

"hello! i'm here for doyoung. he's tutoring —"

"he doesn't live here anymore. his mom bought him a place outside the campus."

what?

"i'm sorry for disturbing you, then. do you by any chance know where he lives?"

that's weird. doyoung never mentioned he's already moved out. you feel a wee bit irritated that he forgot to tell you; it would've saved you the embarrassment of interacting with the varsity player. you weren't stupid, you can see the hints of repulsion in taeyong's eyes the moment he opened that door and saw you standing before him, no doubt thinking about: oh, look, it's the crazy murderer with a fucked up family standing in front of me.

he had shut the door in your face. you stood awkwardly for a good minute in the hallway until the door reopens, taeyong handing you a small piece of paper with doyoung's new address scribbled hurriedly in black ink. he doesn't give you a chance to thank him for he's already closed the door again without another word. 

you opted walking to his place instead of catching a ride because the money you have on you is enough to buy yourself dinner. to say the least, the apartment building is mediocre, not too grand, nor is it too rundown. double-checking the floor level written on the paper before pushing the elevator's button, you then realize doyoung lives on the very top floor of the building.

the hallways are painted a boring brown. some acrylic number signs plastered on the doors are broken, hanging vertically with one screw left. it says on the paper he resides in room 720. taking the right hallway, you mentally count as you eye the mahogany doors. 718… 719… there it is!

when you raise a fist to start knocking on his door, there is a tinge of hesitation surging through you. perhaps being alone with a boy in his apartment is not the best setting for a girl like you should end up in, but this is doyoung we're talking about. if he had ill intentions for you, it would've manifested a long time ago. you shake your head, feeling bad for thinking of him that way as you slowly knock on his front door. not long after, it swings open, revealing the 3rd-year in a white shirt and boxers as he lazily dries his hair off with a small towel. 

"you're late," is the first thing he says to you before spinning on his heel to disappear further into his humble abode. 

"you didn't exactly inform me you've moved out of the dorms. so, whose fault is it?" you retaliate, inviting yourself in and closing the front door shut.

"whatever. let's get started!" he plops himself on the floor, coffee table filled with loose papers as he struggles to find a specific one amongst the mess. "i've already scanned, exported to pdf, and emailed you my notes. it should be in your inbox by now. anyway, answer this quiz i made so i know what i'll be working on."

"you didn't really have to send your notes, doyoung. i could've just read everything from the textbook," you sit down across from him because otherwise, you'll be too distracted to remember information. 

a thought crosses his mind. with what textbook?

"i just think it's missing some essence. that's why i love reading over other psych books in the library for fun. be grateful, those notes are like my babies and i don't simply give them to anyone," he looks at you pointedly. "they've all been summarized and explained in layman's terms so you wouldn't have to spend grueling hours of reading and trying to make sense of the big words as i did — i know that's not the definition of 'fun' normally, but it is for me, and that's why i do it."

"okay, doyoung. you sound so defensive when there's nothing to be defensive about," you tease, feeling pleased with the hint of red on his cheeks as he averts his gaze from yours, muttering incoherent words under his breath.

you spent the following tuesdays, thursdays, and sundays like that; hours upon hours with no one but your tutor, laptops with tangled chargers, a printed copy of his babies, and a mountain pile of loose papers filled with the specialized quizzes doyoung makes to measure your progress. the location varies from a cafe or his flat. but in what you've gathered from the time you spent with him, doyoung's a homebody. cafe tutor sessions are rare, and he always complained about how "noisy" the atmosphere was — "i can't stand it."

but the conversation hadn't always been about academics. 

sure, for the first few sessions, doyoung kept an image of professionalism and had heavily insisted on it — "it's for your learning experience!" — despite your lighthearted teasing. but as time passed and he eventually grew more comfortable in your presence, you find the strict 15-minute break he had initially imposed between 45 minutes of studying turned into hours of talking about whatever; how he likes his eggs in the morning, your favorite coffee brew, his favorite show, your strongest pet peeve. 

and you wholly welcomed the change, not minding that it's practically dark out whenever you go back to your miserable dorm. you feel butterflies in your stomach whenever doyoung offers to walk you home but never had you taken his offer, still cautious of other people seeing you both together despite his constant reassurances. you've already thoroughly ruined your image. you didn't want to ruin his, too. 

kdy the cute tutor, 2:14 pm —last day of midterms! & its all majors today  —good luck —remember what i taught u —lets get ice cream after u cant say no

you shake your head bemusedly. his texting style is the most doyoung thing he does and it's as if you can hear him say these things to you in real life. too caught up in your own world, you fail to detect another student sitting next to you and had nearly fallen off your chair in shock when they spoke.

"why are your notes like that?"

you fight the urge to glare at the person, especially when you turn your head and see lee jeno looking at you in genuine curiosity. he's the only batchmate that treats you a wee bit nicer among the rest. although he isn't technically your friend, at least he doesn't look at you like you're a piece of bubblegum stuck under his shoe like all the others.

"what do you mean?"

"they're… the definitions are all jumbled up. where did you even get that?" 

what? jumbled up? doyoung himself said these notes are a combination of most of the psychology books he had read last year concerning his subjects. how would it be jumbled up? then again, lee jeno was not tutored by the prodigy himself. maybe things are bound to seem "jumbled up" when information is too great to understand for a feeble mind. 

just as you were about to claim these notes aren't yours, the professor has already waltzed into the classroom with a thick wad of papers — the exams. after one last concerned glance directed your way, jeno averts his gaze with a confused tilt of the head. 

hours later, you walk out of the classroom with the biggest smile on your face. aced it, you thought. your hands feel numb with how much you wrote on the essay portion but it's worth it if it meant you get the full 25 points, which you no doubt will as it was a topic you surely tackled with doyoung. speaking of... he sure is a man of his word.

"what are you doing here?" you hiss, head ducked with hair framing your face as to not draw attention from the rest of the students filing out of the testing hall.

"i texted you that we're getting ice cream. remember?"

"i did. but i didn't remember agreeing."

he shoots you a comforting smile, planting his hands firmly on your shoulder. “i told you, y/n. i don't care if they all see us together, so what? we all know you didn't commit that crime and it wasn't your fault you were born into the family you had. i don't care about the trivial things, baby, so don't shy away from me, okay?"

how the fuck can you say 'no' when he's looking at you the way he is as he brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear? doyoung's just so bewitching that he has you wrapped around his slender fingers. he seems pleased when you stumbled over your words as you come up with a reply, caught off guard by his bold gestures.

"i just — you, uhh — fine..." you gave in, rolling your eyes out of pretense.

he just had to call you 'baby' and erupt the butterflies in your stomach.

it had been doing that for the last few months now and it had only truly manifested today when he took you out for ice cream to celebrate the end of hell week. and since you didn't want to go back to your dorm yet, you asked if you guys can watch some movies in his house but it had simply become background noise to your heart-to-heart talks. and what better accompaniment than the classic, chicken and beer?

you listen to him drone on and on about the little realizations he had on some of his past lectures even when you barely understood anything he's saying. doyoung's so lucky to be extremely good at something he's so passionate about, talks about the human mind and the complexity of a person's behavior will never fail to make his eyes light up in interest.

he calls out your name.

your eyes snap open.

"why don't we get you home? it's past 10 and it's alright, stupid, you don't need to pretend to be interested in my psychological findings." he chuckled light-heartedly, stealing the can of the now room-temperature beer from your hands before you can protest. 

"i wasn't dozing off, i swear."

"i caught you in the act. stop lying."

like all the other times he has you as his guest, doyoung once again offers to walk you home and you decline for the thousandth time. it really isn't that much of a long walk anyway. you don't see the need for him to go out of his way to secure your safety. plus, you were the one who insisted on hanging out in his house anyway. you weren't that thick-skinned to let him take you home, too.

"you're drunk!" he scolds.

“no, i’m not. i can perfectly handle myself."

"but —"

"bye!" 

you feel a little guilty for shutting the door in his face. still, a minute longer of his persistence and you would've taken his offer. unfortunately for doyoung, you are one stubborn girl. only if you don't make brisk movements with your head, then you won't see doubles. you'll be fine, it's just a quick walk and it's not as if you're stupid enough to pass by deserted alleys. 

but you had underestimated the divine prowess of your fucked up fate.

everything happened in a matter of three seconds; one, the blinding headlights illuminate your path from behind; two, you hear the loud honk, and as you turn around — three, the vehicle sends you rolling against the asphalt.

you should have taken the alleyways.

for his second act;

he alters your reality.

when you open your eyes, you thought you were dead and your spirit is wandering elsewhere — because you don't believe in trivial things like heaven and god — until an agitated doyoung comes into view. for a split second, you thought, is he dead, too?

"i'm not dead, you idiot." too dazed, you hardly register his anger. "i can perfectly handle myself, she said. i'm not drunk, she said. this wouldn't have happened if you had simply let me walk you home! you're damn fucking lucky you're alive and breathing right now!"

a person clears their throat.

"i don't think it wise to… nag at the patient the moment she wakes. don't you agree, sir?"

pink splotches on doyoung's cheek as he looks down, embarrassed at getting scolded as he stands closer to your bed. "i'm sorry, doc."

you didn't know when your vision cleared or when you started hearing normally again, but it was enough to find out what exactly had transpired on the very night of your tragic accident. a hit and run. fifty-fifty chance of surviving. doyoung getting a call from the hospital in the middle of the night —"they were trying to contact your dad, but he wasn't answering. i was the last person in your call history." 

six months in a coma. but today, you wake… only to find out your world has crashed and burned.

"what do you mean i lost my scholarship?"

"baby, listen to me —"

"why did they take it away? is it because of my accident? i'm behind by one term only and i swear i can catch up. they need to let me back in the program. there must've been some mistake —"

"your gpa didn't reach the cut-off grade."

that can't be possible.

"but you tutored me!" you claim with conviction, pointing an accusatory finger at him until you groan, bowing in pain as you clutch your head.

doyoung springs into action. the chair's legs screech against the tiles as he jumps to your aid, ushering you gently back against the hospital bed despite your refusal. "you're not well. lay back down, please."

you don't hear a single word he says, not when you had lost something so crucial. "i put in the effort and learned everything you taught me... i aced those fucking mid-terms! i know i did!" you were on the brink of tearing up as doyoung settled himself in front of you.

"i… i actually saw your papers," his lips set in a thin, hard-line. "everything was all wrong, sweetheart. what happened to you? i tried reasoning with the professors, mentioned your state — you know, with your best friend dying — but they didn't relent. i'm sorry y/n. i'm so —"

gone. everything is gone. the money. the dorm. what if they ask you to pay the fees from last year? what if they ask you to pay the tuition fee for this year? you have no money, no family, no relatives. no one to help. who's even going to pay for the hospital fees?

you weren't able to process anything after that. not with the sudden news of your now revoked scholarship. doyoung pulls you in a tight hug. "i was a bad tutor," he says, snapping you out of it. "maybe i shouldn't have pushed you that hard to learn them. why were your answers even mixed up y/n? i thought you knew those topics already…"

he pulls away, observing your confused state as your eyes dart everywhere in the room. "what — how are they mixed up? i know i got them right. there has to be some mistake. you taught me those topics, remember?"

"i did... "he averts his gaze. "but i don't remember teaching them to you mixed up, darling. i think you did that all on your own."

"but… why would i mix up my answers? that's —"

"see, what i mean?" he cuts you off, raising a hand to give your cheek the most delicate caress. "you're not well, baby. you need to be treated, especially with how much you hit your head during the accident. don't worry, i'm here. we'll try asking if you can stay in the dorms at least until you find another place —"

"am i a charity case to you?"

oh, the surprise on the junior's face when you push him away as you pin him with a hard stare. you just don't get it. why is kim doyoung so adamant about helping you? in becoming your hero, even when you never asked him to be? if you let him help you this time around, that'll be the 3rd time he came to save your ass. it's not as if you're ungrateful. simply, you've had enough of his help. you don't know how a person like you, who literally has nothing, can return the favor to someone like doyoung.

"what are you saying —"

"i'm saying…" you fix him a hard stare. "you helping me out doesn't even benefit you in the slightest. so why do you do it?"

he pauses, staring at you with hesitance in his eyes as this seems to be the very first time you've truly seen him speechless. when doyoung opens his mouth, he mumbles, and you hardly make sense of what he said. 

"do you really want to know why?" 

you urge him on with an arched eyebrow, his softened tone creeping into your heart. 

"you're someone special to me y/n. i don't know how or when i admitted it to myself, but you are, and it hurts me to see how shitty your luck is," he cracks a small grin, slowly settling back onto the hospital bed as he grabs your hand. "it's okay to seek help from others. it isn't a sign of vulnerability or weakness. i help you because i want to, and i'm more than willing to take care of you. will you let me?"

you're not blind. you've noticed the way he had slowly started coming closer as he continued to speak, hands held securely in his as he looked straight at your eyes then down at your lips. and so, you act in a way you know that will surely answer his question — with a kiss. 

the man before you immediately reciprocates, overpowering your own eagerness as he curls the tips of his fingers into the roots of your hair. he pulls you close, cradling you against his chest. you can taste his desperation in the way his tongue dances against yours, the kiss transporting you into an alternate reality where your world revolves around doyoung and doyoung alone. 

when he pulls away bleary-eyed, both of you ignore the thin strand of saliva connecting your lips. "how about you come live with me for the time being, my love?"

still high off his kiss and natural scent, you hardly mull over the question he asks you. "okay."

days later, after you've been discharged (he wanted to chip in for your hospital bills but you had given him a firm no), doyoung had been the one to show up at the dorm to collect all your things after leaving you in his apartment. the cutie had refused to simply drop you off and had deliberately accompanied you up the elevator, through the halls, and finally into his apartment. 

"i'll be out for just a minute, sugarcube."

"oh, can you get take out?"

doyoung had smiled, playfully booping the tip of your nose. "no, because i'll be cooking for us tonight as a little celebration for you getting discharged. you'll love it; i'm making your favorite!"

it was funny how the night had been nothing but utter bliss. the foreign feeling of being taken care of sprouting in your chest as you watch him cooking from behind the counter. it felt… nice. but funny enough, as if doing a 360, you both had immediately gotten into an argument the next day. 

"i don't see the need for skipping another day if i feel perfectly fine! i'll figure something out once we get there, doyoung, so can we just —"

"you' re not fine, babylove — hell, you got discharged yesterday! i'm not just about to let you back into the arena with those students. they've only grown more immature since your coma, love. i seriously don't want you near them."

"fine! then i won't talk to them. simple." you throw your hands up. "there. problem solved. now, can we please just go to uni? i need to talk to the dean and the head of student affairs, too —"

"i'm going to uni, not you."

maybe it had been the way he firmly stated his claim, the way his eyes pierced through your soul as if daring you to argue further with him that made you snap.

"i'm not a prisoner in this apartment, doyoung! don't treat me like i have the plague! i'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself — jesus christ, i've been doing it nearly half my fucking life!"

too caught up in your anger, you've failed to notice the tears pouring down his face as he sets his gaze on the floor. 

"you're right," his voice cracks. "i shouldn't be pushy like that. i'm sorry. you just mean so much to me and i'm so scared of losing you again. with your coma — i just — it's like i was fighting a losing battle each day that passed when i saw you in that hospital bed. i've never felt so scared in my whole life and i hated myself for not being able to protect you that night."

his tears run like waterfalls, and when you step forward with your arms wide open, doyoung sobs harder as he pulls you against him. you hardly comprehend what he says as he spoke, shaking against your frail body as you felt his tears stain your blouse. "i'm sorry, i never should've dictated what you felt — i'm so sorry."

"no, it's okay. i was feeling a little lightheaded, anyway. i'll stay here and i can come back to school next semester, right? doyoung? just… please stop crying."

he lifts his head, staring at you with bloodshot eyes before giving your forehead a kiss. you let a relieved sigh escape your lips, melting into his warmth as you prop your chin on his shoulder. if you had only been more attentive, you would've seen the reflection of his wicked grin on the tabletops. too easy.

living with him became a blur after that incident. everything fell into a routine for the next four days as you spent the day watching netflix, eating, reading, sleeping. nothing felt fun anymore. but your peaceful life had ceased during the fifth night — the whispers, they woke you up. you can hear them from behind your door at night, and when you rouse awake, you see doyoung walking around the hallway from the tiny gap at the bottom of the door. you had sighed, falling back into your plush bed as you pray to god, he keeps it down. 

but what he told you the next day rendered you speechless. "me, walking around the hallways? whispers?" he says, confused. "i was already asleep, love. knocked out cold the moment my body fell on the bed."

"but…"

he doesn't spare you a glance as he takes his sweet time skimming through his notes on the dining table, coffee in one hand. "maybe it's just the meds kicking in."

"no, surely it was real! i literally woke up in the middle of the night," you repeat. "it's okay if it was you, doyoung. i'm not mad."

he sets his coffee mug down a little too loud. 

"well, you can't be mad at me, sugar, because like i said — it wasn't me," it doesn't take a genius to notice he's awfully cranky today. you observe him, dark half-moons under his eyes as he relentlessly reads his notes with instant coffee in one hand. 

"you're just imagining things, okay? stop acting crazy."

for some reason, the way he had uttered certain words like 'imagining' and 'crazy' made you curl into your seat in embarrassment. he was right that your doctor did prescribe a generous amount of pills per day, but his tone made it feel off, made you feel like there was something wrong with you even when there wasn't… 

right?

you didn't say a word after that and had hesitantly pecked him on the cheek before he left for school. with the amount of time you're with him, two things stood out to you — his keen sense of observation and his knack for reading people. you highly doubt he didn't notice a shift in your behavior but a part of you thinks it's just the stress talking. he is about to take his finals and had recently started on his research paper. 

every psych student is required to present a paper in accordance with the department's annual theme. it could be anything from proposing a theory (if you dare) to constructing a well-developed psychology model. if you don't turn one in, you don't graduate — the paper's that important, and you've been bugging him for so long about sneaking a peek on what his study is about. but he always refused. 

the next week came rolling around, and both of you had been spending every day together due to the semestral break. the arguments have significantly lessened, but your episodes — eventually, you started calling it that way because that's how doyoung labels it — have only gotten worse. you end up moving out of the guest room and into his. privacy be damned. the whispers stopped momentarily but what came next became your imminent downfall.

the first time you heard it, you thought you were dreaming. but the doorknob kept rattling aggressively even as you sat up. just as you climb off the bed, your half-asleep boyfriend asks where you're going. 

"bathroom," you lied.

you were always the one to snort when it comes to the supernatural, claiming it's all bullshit. yet, as whatever outside continues to fight its way inside the room, the rattling progressing into loud bangs against the door, you're not so sure of your beliefs anymore. you're not crazy. nothing is wrong with you, and you're perfectly fine. this apartment is cursed, and you are going to prove that to doyoung.

grabbing your phone from the bedside table, you turn the flash on, pointing the camera at the door as you take a footage of the mad entity that has been playing games with you. a squeal escapes your lips when a particular bang! reverberates louder in the room than all the others. the phone slips your hand, falling onto the floorboards. you don't bother to retrieve it as you scramble to get yourself back under the blanket and into doyoung's comfortable warmth.

you snuggle yourself plush against his chest, shaking as you wrap your arms around his waist, inhaling his natural scent to anchor you back. 

bang! bang! bang!

you didn't get a wink of sleep last night.

"can't the video wait? there's a new episode of start-up, and i want to watch it already!" he whines, shoving his face further on the throw pillow situated on your lap.

you giggle, shaking your head as you scroll through your gallery to find the video. i'm not imagining things. i'm not hallucinating. i'm not crazy. "here! watch... i'm telling you this apartment is haunted, and the ghost probably likes you, which is why it doesn't bother you —"

your lighthearted rambling cuts off when you notice no sound emitting from your phone. weird. you could've sworn you started recording right when the loud banging has already started. your heart drops upon the wary stare doyoung shoots you before he continues to watch the video. 

no, no, no, no — please!

you quickly scoot over to his side, watching as the video unfolds before your very eyes. the shot was messy as the phone was handheld, not to mention you were panicking at the time. but the video is silent. not a single noise of a rattling doorknob or banging on the door can be heard through your phone's speakers. 

"maybe — maybe you didn't turn the volume up?"

you hardly contain the mortification in your face when you realize the volume's at 100 already. and as if on cue, your squeal is heard in the video and the noise of the phone hitting the floor.

doyoung's silence shakes your whole being. as you kneel before him teary-eyed, your voice breaks. "i swear, i'm not crazy."

but at this point, you don't believe yourself anymore.

for his third and final act;

he triumphs.

his deprivation began in minuscule ripples. 

it didn't take much effort on doyoung's end to convince you to stop studying for a year or two, at least, only until your hallucinations aren't as severe anymore. everyday felt like hell on earth as the fine line between what's real and what isn't has blurred over one too many times. in sheer paranoia of accidentally hurting him in his sleep, you moved out of his bedroom and had started sleeping in the guest room again — much to doyoung's frustration. 

but he's a smart man, one that recognizes an opportunity amidst the hurdles thrown on his path.

"why does my door need a lock outside again?"

he approaches you, who’s sitting cross-legged on the bed, after screwing in the last of the screws that came with the new doorknob. doyoung is familiar with the look written on your face, has observed and studied you enough to navigate his way inside your pretty little head with ease.

he can't have you doubting him, can he?

"you know i'm all about protecting you, right?" he starts. you nodded. "i've been doing it for a year now, and i will continue to do so until you need me to. the world is a bad place, sweetheart, remember? your own best friend's mother tried framing you. your dad disowned you. you've been ostracized in the whole college... do you think i'm just like the rest of them, baby?"

doyoung has already mastered the perfect expression of a kicked-puppy, one that easily pulls at your heartstrings and has you cooing at him.

"no!" you say with conviction, reaching forward to thread your fingers through his. "i know you're different, not like any of them at all. i know you're only doing what's… best for me."

he ignores the underlying hesitance in your tone. that will be corrected, sooner or later.

doyoung tightens his hold as he kisses the back of your hand. such an innocent gesture — but such ill intentions.

"the outside lock helps me in protecting you, love. you don't need to worry about anything. just focus on getting better, alright? i'll keep the bad guys away from you."

it was during his first semester of senior year, a few months back, doyoung and a good few students of his batch had been granted the opportunity to intern for a mental hospital located near the edge of the city. he was supposed to decline the offer but you convinced him to take the spot. it had only been a two-week “job” yet it was enough for doyoung to conclude — he’d rather kill you than subject you to the horrors of what the patients have to go through in the loony bin. 

eventually, the small ripples shift into unforgiving waves, dragging you into the depths as everything comes crashing down before your very own eyes.

it should have been like any other day inside the apartment. doyoung's already gone in the morning to attend classes. though not before setting a tray of your brunch on the nightstand, making sure to lock your door on his way out. he knew your nightmares and anxiety kept you up at night, resulting in longer hours of sleep during the day. 

turns out, you moving out of his bedroom had been a blessing in disguise. coming home to an empty apartment has become his biggest fear yet, and you unconsciously found a solution for him. one that doesn’t have him fidgeting on his seat as he counts down the minutes ‘til he’s back by your side.

doyoung smiles unconsciously as he listens to his professor drone on and on in front of him — his mind at peace, knowing you're safe and sound in your little prison.

until he received a text that made his blood run cold.

ty, 11:34 am —im done.

meanwhile, you rouse awake once more to thunderous poundings against your bedroom door. oh no, you thought. it's happening again. this time, there'll be no doyoung barging into your room, half-asleep and hair messy, as he tries to calm you down. you throw the blankets over you as you sob, hugging your legs against your chest as you try to 'wake yourself up' from the hallucination.

the person outside calls for your name, the desperation in their tone alighting a new-found fear in your heart. you don't know what's real anymore. is this truly happening, or is it another hallucination your fucked up mind has conjured up?

"please! it's taeyong! y/n, can you hear me?"

taeyong?

slowly, your head peaks above the blanket, warily staring at the door. doyoung has warned you about these kinds of things, has practically ingrained in your mind that whoever comes looking for you will take you away from him. not to mention, doyoung slipped one time and said he isn’t friends with taeyong anymore.

the banging on the door progresses.

“are you in there? answer me! i can’t find the key!”

you don’t say anything, merely pushing the covers off your body as you keep your eyes fixed on the beating door. it looks like it’s about to pop out its hinges as taeyong relentlessly fights his way inside your room. what are you going to do? do you open the door? oh. right. you can’t do that on your own accord. the key is with doyoung and he isn’t in the apartment at the moment.

all your thoughts come to a halt when the boy outside sends the door flying open, finally breaking the lock with one powerful kick. you flinch back, his actions pushing you on your feet, wanting to place a maximum amount of distance from the intruder. 

taeyong looks frantic, disheveled as he immediately notices your alarmed state. he approaches you cautiously, hands up to show his empty palms. “hey, hey… it’s just me, y/n. i’m not going to hurt you. i’m not the enemy here.”

“doyoung doesn’t know you’re here, does he?”

the look of surprise on his face is an answer in itself. for someone doyoung had proudly claimed to have “broken” you’re still quite quick to catch up on things, taeyong observed. and he doesn’t know what to feel about it — pity? guilt?

“that’s not important!” he claims, boldly surging forward to grasp your shoulders with a firm grip. taeyong felt his heart dropping when you flinch under his grasp. 

“listen to me. we need to get you out of here. doyoung isn’t — he isn’t everything you thought he is!” he can’t help but raise his voice, panic surging through him because there’s not much time left and you aren’t exactly cooperating. you’ve been trying to shrug off his hold the whole time. 

“do you think he actually loves you?”

“he does! stop saying bullshit!”

“doyoung never loved anyone and you want to know why? because he’s too in love with his research to care for anything else!” taeyong felt bad to have been so direct, especially when he sees the tears now falling freely down your cheeks. “listen to me, y/n! i’m not the enemy! if there’s anyone you should be pushing away, it’s doyoung! he turned you into his lab rat! you are nothing but a variable in his study! don’t you get it?”

taeyong grabs a firm but gentle hold of your head, trying to make you look at him straight in the eye for the gravity of what he’s about to say to you.

“doyoung had his eye on you since sophomore year. i told him this was a bad idea and that he should change the topic of the research and he was. fucking hell, he was about to scrap the whole thing until your bestfriend died and did you know what that psycho told me? that it was a sign for him to continue the research! and i’ve been pestering him so much that he moved out because he claimed i was going to get in the way of his discovery.

tell you what, if you can tell me right here, right now, that he has mentioned anything — anything at all — about his study to you then everything i’m saying is a lie.”

you have asked doyoung for the longest time about that research but the answers have always been the same. “not yet, my love. it’s not time for it to be seen with your eyes. soon, okay?”

with a voice not louder than a whisper, you ask. “what… what’s his research about?”

you fail to see the sorry look on taeyong’s face. “in psychology, they say a person only develops psychosis mainly through genetics or drugs. although you’re technically already a worthy “lab rat” considering your mom and upbringing, he wanted to expand the external factors of what causes the disorder — grief, grades, toxic family relations…”

you hear a ringing in your ear and a sudden urge to throw up. only, you didn’t have anything to hurl because your brunch remains untouched on your bedside. 

“but he hadn’t been successful. and that’s… that’s where i came along. doyoung thought the medications he’s been giving you isn’t doing what he wanted it to and he knew he needed a little push. i was… i gave him that push. remember the whispers, the banging on the door at night? it was all me. he made me do it. you know what that means, right? you’re not crazy. you don’t need to stay here cooped up like some kind of pet, believing all his lies as if it’s written in a fucking bible —”

he stops. and if he hadn’t, you wouldn’t’ve heard the familiar beeps of the front door’s automated lock going off. doyoung’s home. 

in lightning speed, taeyong has you sheltered behind him, throwing his warm coat over you in the process, hoping to give the smallest comfort amidst the chaos that’s about to erupt. there’s no point in pretending or hiding — one look at that lock and his crazy friend would know something’s off. 

taeyong feels you flinching behind him with every heavy footstep against the floorboards as doyoung wastes no time in getting to your room. and when he finally appears, hands braced against the door frame, you’ve never been this scared your whole life. his eyes are drawn into slits, fixated on taeyong alone. “how fucking dare you?”

“it’s over, doyoung. give it up or you wouldn’t have to suffer a longer sentence than you’ll already get.” taeyong tried with his whole being to appear intimidating.

“what’re you saying, yong? i meant, how fucking dare you barge in here and disturb my girlfriend in her sleep? that’s not very nice of you…” doyoung sports a disarming gummy smile as he approaches, hand outstretched and beckoning towards you. “c’mere, baby. i don’t think you’ve eaten lunch yet?”

“drop the fucking act, you psycho!”

“what act?” doyoung tilts his head innocently, gaze shifting from taeyong’s and yours, who keeps peeking from over his ex-friend’s shoulder. luring you out is a piece of cake unless taeyong decides to make things a wee bit more complicated, doyoung thought. “i’m just concerned for my darl —”

“we’re leaving.” taeyong cuts him off, breaking eye contact as he places a firm grip around your wrist. he pulls you towards him, farther away from your supposed lover as he tries walking past doyoung. 

but the said man pushes taeyong back with a humorless smile on his face. “and who told you that you can do that?”

a pregnant silence befalls the room as the two men size each other up. they regard each other with such hostility, you can't help but unconsciously fist the back of taeyong's sweater in nervousness, prompting the man to turn his head over his shoulder for a swift second to check up on you.

but a second is all that doyoung needed to deliver the first kick towards taeyong's legs, throwing him off his balance. if it was one thing doyoung knew, is that he needed to eliminate taeyong's agility all together if he wants to win against him. 

but taeyong isn't one to back down. the moment doyoung straddles him on the floor, with a fist raised to throw a punch, taeyong grunts as he rolls them around. doyoung now receiving taeyong's rain of fists as he yells. "fuck you! you manipulative asshole!"

you sat on the corner, horrified of the scene happening before you. you've never seen doyoung this way. he has always been your sweet, caring bunny, but after everything taeyong said, you aren't so sure you even know the man you've been living with. 

"everything i did, i did it for her!" you flinch at the sound of bones breaking as doyoung kicked taeyong's ribs. "she had nothing to lose! i saved her!"

the door is open, you noticed. wide-open and inviting you to make a run for it. and you would have made a run for it...  but taeyong. you can't leave him behind, not when he lays there bloody and grunting in pain as doyoung lets his anger take over him. so, as stupid as may be, you did it. you had to.

"you didn't save me," you say, schooling your face into indifference as doyoung whips around, forgetting about taeyong in the bat of an eye. "you caged me in here, treated me like there's something wrong with me, gaslighted me into believing everything you said! and... what did you say? 'saved me'? you made me go through hell!"

the whole time, taeyong tries his hardest to stand upright, but his broken ribs don't allow him to. the pain too great that he had no choice but to crawl instead, arms pulling his weight as he drags himself across the floorboards, desperately trying to get doyoung's attention back on him even if it meant getting beaten to death.

meanwhile, he had his eyes trained on you the whole time you spoke, sobbing as you walk backward in fear as doyoung approached you with a dark glint in his eye. he doesn't like what you're saying; that much is very clear. he wanted to yell at you, to scream of your ungratefulness despite his constant care but instead, he says.

"i thought we were making progress, baby. i guess i have to drill everything in your brain again. you're not okay, but you will be after i treat you."

you try to fight the urge to look at taeyong as he finds his strength, silently rising up from the floor to ambush doyoung while he's so busy preaching about you. 

"what i said is true, baby. do you actually think this scum over here is doing this to save you? do you actually believe everything he said? i've been here since day-1, my love. literally. and have i ever let you down? no. everything i'm doing is for us. even this damned research!"

taeyong surges forward to put him in a chokehold, but everything happened so fast, and the next thing you knew —

"did you actually think i'd fall for that?"

you didn't know the sound of a knife cutting through flesh could sound that loud, but nothing could beat the strained gasp that tumbled through taeyong's lips as he shakily held the knife pierced through his heart. you would've been concerned about how doyoung got it so accurate in one go or where the knife even came from. but you were too busy screaming, collapsing against the wall as you let out a broken sob. 

"no," you mutter. "no, no, no..."

you can't bear to avert your eyes from taeyong as he lies dying before you. the look of fear in his eyes would forever be ingrained in your mind, and no amount of brainwashing or gaslighting would ever make you forget.

doyoung killed him. you lost.

the knife clatters loudly on the floor as he slowly turns around as if he himself has yet to register what he did. you didn't know what to expect from doyoung's reaction but certainly not the eerie smile that starts spreading on his face. 

"now... how about that lunch, baby?"

✉ : a repost no one asked but i respectfully dont give a fuck <3

[ashesandhalefire]

Thanks so much for sharing your RNM thoughts. It can be hard to put the frustration into words, but you did, and so eloquently! I also haven't seen nearly as much floating around after the finale as I thought I would, so I feel a little weird making posts. It feels like everyone is already all over it and done talking about it, so it's nice to know that I'm not alone in feeling really disappointed with how this season ultimately turned out.

ahhh it certainly didn't feel eloquent when i was rage typing into a text post but thanks asdfjkl

it's definitely been quiet on the tumblr front post-finale but i usually just assume most conversation is taking place on discord or something lol. but i know what you mean! i was behind on watching and felt weird making more posts after my liveblog that were just like "AND BY THE WAY" but tbh i needed to get that stuff out of my head because i'd just be like scrolling through tumblr on my lunch break and all of a sudden be like AND ANOTHER THING and i just couldn't take it anymore

[hackink]

Step Dad

A short story

I hear thrashing and screaming, I yearned for it to end, never did. That quite sucks not gonna lie.

I'm the big one, it's like I'm the chosen one in my family, could be both good or bad. I've got to take care of my siblings, like all the time. The big responsibilities always point in my direction. It's not all bad, I do have my fair share of fun. But for that same reason, I must set a good example. I can't really act the way I wanna most of the time, usually I've make-up on my face, covering the skin before it. It's kinda complicated.

This one time, my parents came into my room, they introduced me to someone, he was a tall white man, and was fairly well clothed. He was wearing these really nice shoes, and had a suit on that looked like it cost buck. I shook his big hand, it felt soft, and a bit warming. We talked for about 30 minutes, he was a fairly nice person, and my parents seemed to like him as well.

After that time was over, my dad went to the room, and grabbed some suitcases out from the closet, as he rolled them by, I felt my heart drop. They explained everything.

Quickly, I put my make-up on, before it was too late, it was. Once I saw my little brother and sister hugging the leg of my dad, begging him to stay, I washed it off naturally. 'Who is he to take the place of my dad?' This thought lingered in my head that night, I took some sleeping pills.

I avoided the man, I didn't want to talk to him, if I saw my mother close to him, I'd turn my head, cause I know how violent I can get. There was this one time, where I walked into the kitchen to get a snack, was playing Minecraft with my siblings, and there I saw the two, hugging and kissing. I, at that moment, remembered how my dad taught me to drive, how he taught me to build a nice dog house for our pet dog, which had died upon my dad's exit. I remembered every single second I spent with my father, the amazing role model he was, and snapped.

Back in the 8th grade, one of my good friends was playing bloody knuckles with someone. He totaled him. He then turned to me, and held his fist up, I didn't last two punches. He told me to start punching the walls at home, bit by bit, so that it wouldn't hurt and my fists would become stronger. In two months' time, my knuckles along with my punches, had become stronger than most boys in my school. I beat my friend, the only time I did too, cause he trained after that as well, and became much better than me. Though, I did beat just about anyone in school at bloody knuckles.

I clenched my fist, and I dropped my phone. This man was innocent, I just hated the fact that he wanted to replace the man who could never be replaced, ever. I felt like letting him know. I had never punched anything as hard as I could, since it'd probably be the end of my fist, but boy do I gotta say his cheek was soft. He fell to the ground and hit the stove with his head, my mom started to scream and push me back, each little shove she gave me, let me know how much she liked this man. They all hurt. I hadn't seen her do that with my dad in the past year, and he gets to do it in the first week? I couldn't settle with that, I ran out the house, and went to my grandma's house, where I began punching the tree in order to not break down in tears.

She gave me some hot cocoa, and let me spend the night there. She felt like she always had, like my grandma, so I felt comfortable, silently I sobbed. The next morning I got up and took a shower, my hands had a bunch of wounds in them from punching the tree bare fisted, and they really hurt to clean. They were also shaking, 'maybe I cracked a bone or something?' I didn't really care, my adrenaline wasn't going down anytime soon.

I was taking a jog outside around the house to clear my mind, when I see a tall man, with some really nice shoes, and a bruise on his cheek come by. 'Your mother sent me to get you.' I ignored him, for his sake. He sat down in a chair, and patted next to him, signaling for me to take a seat. I was thinking it was a bad pun, was he here to mock me? His face was so infuriating, the fact that it wasn't six feet under was pissing me off. On my next lap around the house, I kicked his chair over, his suit looked expensive. He smiled and chuckled, 'kids these days are quite funny.' Why? He must be a psycho, my reaction would be to get mad, or confused at least!

He began to jog alongside me, this man was starting to tick me off big time. I stopped running, grabbed his tie, and said 'Get out, and I mean out, you lay another finger on my mom and I'll kill you!' I tripped him, and continued my jog. I'd feel guilty, but I can't for someone who got my father kicked out of the house, nobody deserves to live after screwing with my family.

I returned home later that day, still a tad hesitant because of the incidents the day prior. My mom asked me to help her cook, she was making shrimp. She gave me the basic rundown of what she had going, and started cutting vegetables off to the side, we started talking about the usual, how much I annoyed her, and how my siblings were idiots. I hear the door open, and I get ready for disappointment, 'Hello everybody!!' it's a... playful voice?

'Where's my food you peasants?' My eyes lighten up, followed by tears. I rush over to hug my dad, started to sob in his arms. He had a black bag, that had chips in it, he always brought chips back home from time to time. He lied it down on the table, and not long after, my siblings came running and crying. 'Dad why did you leave!?' My little brother cried as he hugged him, my sister on the other side. I felt a sense of family, something I haven't felt in a long time. Through the open door walked a other entity, the tall man. I then snapped back into life, and became a bit sad that I wasn't seeing my dad every day, or that he wasn't showing me something. I didn't feed him, I let him eat a microwaved frozen food, I could not give a damn about his existence. Well, that's a lie, I'd prefer if he was gone.

A couple weeks went by, I was kinda getting used to ignoring the tall man in my house. One good thing is that I never saw him getting intimate with my mom. Could've been good or bad, cause I couldn't punch him, bummer. He was always at work, your typical nine to five corporate slave. So when he was gone, I'd spend time normally with my family. I video chatted my dad every day or two, and just talked about life, sometimes he'd show me how to wood work via video chat. I could live with this.

One day, he came back with a few boxes in his hands, and a letter, or at least that's what it looked like. He opened the boxes in front of my sister and brother, as well as my mom and I. Inside the link box, there was a super high quality drawling tablet, the exact one that my sister always wanted, and cracked jokes about. She took it and ran to her room to use it. In the blue box, there was this laptop, one that my little brother was talking about gettjng for ages, and wouldn't shut up about how good it was. He said thank you and ran to his room to use it. I was pissed, he was trying to buy us into liking him, and it was seeming to be quite effective. He opened a my box, it was keys to a car, specifically the car I always told my dad I was going to get when I got money, and got us out of this house, into a nice house. He always said he was gonna buy it for me, I felt conflicted.

'I know we've had our ups and downs, but I really do want to get along with you as my child, or maybe even just a friend.' I saw my mom out of the corner of my eye, she was tearing up, of happiness. I came back to my senses, and went back to my room, slammed the door shut. I knew I had let my mother down, there were like twenty different emotions circulating through me, they were wreaking havoc. I began to punch the walls, I started screaming, it was probably audible from miles away. I felt weird, something I had never felt before. It didn't seem healthy, but I didn't care. This feeling was new to me, I felt like dying over and over, but even then, that might've not been enough to suppress the pain. I remember thinking to myself, 'I'm gonna kill him, he will die!'

That night, I asked him to come talk to me outside. He looked excited. We went outside, and I took him to the back of the house. I had an itch on my lower back. 'So, what's up?' I didn't reply. 'You're uh, quite the mysterious one aren't you?' He chuckled a bit to himself, I didn't move a muscle. He began to talk about what he had for the future, how he was gonna move us out in like a month, and buy us everything we wanted. 'That's what my dad's gonna do.' I mumbled quietly. 'I beg your pardon?' He replied. I couldn't take it anymore. 'My dad's gonna buy us a house, he's gonna move us out!' I pulled out the pocket knife from the back of my pants and stabbed him in the chest.

His blood came rushing out shortly, I began to scream and cry, 'You will never be my dad!' I stabbed him time and time again, he didn't move after a while. My dad walked up behind me and patted me on the back, along with my mother, sister, and little brother. We spit on him together, and we started to chant, it was a happy chant. We danced around his corpse. I started to sweat intensely, my family began to fade away, still chanting, it turned louder and louder. They began to float away, I dropped to my knees, and the tall man was laughing at me, he pointed and laughed. I started to laugh, with tears running down my face, I took the knife and pointed it at me, that's when I heard the voice. 'Wake up! Jesus Christ you've been sleeping all morning!'

My mom woke me up, I got up and went to the table. I got a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and began to eat. My mom walked outside and began to talk to my aunt, 'So, I was able to get this puppy sold for about $150!' I overheard some of their conversation, I wanted a puppy. My dad walked in with a bag, 'Hello my dear children! I am awesome for I have brought the goodies!' I look inside the bag, and tell him that he forgot my hot chips. He quickly runs outside. I take the bag over to my sister and brother, where they get their bag of chips, and start munching away. Once I finish my cereal, I get ready for school. I brush my teeth, and put on a sweater. My mom passes by me on the phone with her sister, talking about something, I couldn't quite catch it. As I open the door, I see my dad chasing after my baby sister, who's face is covered in mud, and laughing away. 'I'm gonna brush your hair so hard!' He yells at her, I giggle to myself. My aunt is outside my house, playing jump rope with my cousin. I wonder who's winning. My sister walks past me, and looks at me. 'Another bad dream?' she asks. 'Yea, this one was hectic.'

[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 8)

"What'll it be, Jack?"

After about an hour of kicking it with the crew, Luna heads back to Ashley's house. Colson is going to pick her up around 10p.

Luna and Ashley take the extra time hanging out and catching up. They speak daily but haven't seen each other since Christmas. It's now the end of April. Snacking on the couch, Luna asks Ashley if her and Dom want to come out tonight. Ashley says maybe to the club later, but most likely not because they're going to dinner and will probably do something more low key. Luna loves her honesty. She then asks Luna what she intends to do at the strip club, Luna tells her, her elaborate plan and why.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD! THAT was YOU!?? He's told me about that night and THAT GIRL!!" She's laughing. "I never put 2 + 2 together!!!" She continues to laugh. "I feel so dumb! Because now all of a sudden it all makes sense." She says whisping her hands around. "You guys are cosmic." She says with a huge smile. "ANNNND!!! YOU are fucking nuts!!" Ashley laughs. "BUT he is going to LOOOOOVE it!" She stops for a second. "I didn't realize you guys were connected like THAT. I thought shit just popped off last night."

"Nah.." Luna says. "He's not a rando." She stops before asking her friend. "Is this ok? Colson and I? With you? You know I'd die for you Ash, so fuck a dick." Luna says. Silently regretting her words.

"No, no, no, Loons!! You know how that was. Kells and I are roll dogs."

"Still. It's the first dick we've shared... EVER!" Luna emphasises.

Ashley laughs and looks at her friend square in the eye. "But, HE'S YOUR DICK, Loons. He was never mine."

Both satisfied with the conversation they move on to shit talking for a bit.

Shortly after, Luna starts to get dressed for the evening.

--------------------------------------------------

Colson pulls up to Ashley's. Walking up to the door he notices he has butterflies.

"Fuck, I've been here before. Why am I so nervous?" He thinks to himself. "Because it's not the place. It's her." He suddenly realizes.

After a solid knock, he can hear Jagger barking from the other side of the door. Colson loses his breath when Luna answers it. She's dressed slightly casual in a pair of high waisted cutoffs and over the knee laced up wedge boots. His eyes are immediately drawn to her voluptuous breasts on display in a nude bra under a sheer, star sprinkled black shirt. She's littered in her usual jewelry. Again, she has minimum makeup up but a deep red lip.

He can't help but notice. "She really is naturally beautiful." He muses to himself.

"My Kitten, you look WONDERFUL tonight." Colson tells her while licking his lips. She laughs.

"Is that a thing now?" She asks, standing on her tippy toes, throwing her arms around his neck before kissing him 'Hello'. Their tongues tease each other's happily.

"Which one?" He asks kissing her with a smack.

Pleased with his answer, "Doesn't matter, I like them both." She says smiling as she releases him, leans down, grabs 2 bags and closes the door.

"You better." He says, smacking her on the ass. He takes her extra bag as they walk to his Rover.

--------------------------------------------------

The strip club is loud but not too crowded. Everyone sits down in VIP, begins to order drinks and enjoy the girls. After a bit, Slim dips off to procure Colson a private room. Once Slim returns, Luna excuses herself to go to the bathroom. Instead she grabs her extra bag out of the Rover and proceeds to find the small help she needs. It's not long before Luna is chatting up one of the girls, mentioning how it's her boyfriend's birthday and she'd like to dance for him. She follows her new friend, Ginger, back into the dressing room.

"Did I just call him my fucking boyfriend?" She asks herself, making her way through the club.

The backstage dressing room is busy and loud. Luna's has friends who dance so she's familiar with the scene. Ginger takes her over to her station. "Feel free to use anything you need. You're not working so the other girls shouldn't bother you." Ginger reassures her before heading back onto the floor.

"Thank you." Luna says. She's not worried about anything and has everything she needs already. She smiles and blushes, thinking of the first night she saw Colson. She loves that he remembered her by her coat. It's one of her most cherished, vintage pieces and she doesn't go many places without it.

--------------------------------------------------

Colson is sitting in a private room. He hasn't seen Luna for a while and is trying not to over think his current situation of Slim shoving him in this room.

"I REALLY hope this doesn't piss her off..."

His thoughts are broken when the door opens. He sees one black heeled, fishnet leg slide between the crack. There's a black bow at the top of the high highs. As the door opens fully, Luna steps in. She's wrapped in the cheetah print coat and fishnet stockings. Colson can't see much more. He feels his dick instantly grow. "Holy Shit, Luna." He says sitting up in his seat, as she slowly let's the coat slide open, walking towards him. He admires her body as it comes into his full sight. He loves that she always seems to wear black lingerie. As she comes closer, she begins to sing Happy Birthday as she straddles him, unbuttoning his shirt. He slides the coat off of her body. "Happy Birthday, Dear Bunny." She sings seductively in between sloppy kisses, grinding and opening his shirt, caressing his bare chest. "Happy birthday to you." She finishes with a smile and a giggle.

"You are so fucking awesome." He breathes into her as his hands make their way over every inch of her body. She throws her head back in pleasure as he kisses her neck, grinding hard into his cock. "I fucking WANT you." He pants.

"Take me." She heaves into the air.

With those words, he straightens her out, pushing her back by her hips and grabbing her by the back of her hair to look directly into her eyes. "Once I fuck you. You're fucking MINE." He says firmly.

She grabs him by the jaw, never breaking eye contact, stating "I better be your FUCKING ONLY." Before kissing him hard on the mouth. Then she stands up over top of him on the couch. He nibbles her scorpion, making her squirm and giggle. Kissing her stomach and hip bones, he slides her black panties down her thighs, exposing her pussy. She lifts her right leg, sliding one leg through the panty hole. She rests that foot on top of the couch as Colson grabs the back of her thigh tightly and buries his face in her sopping cunt. He's devouring her, hungrily. Luna grips his hair and the wall to balance against his strong arms. She moans in pleasure.

"We're doing this.?" She half asks herself. "We are and I don't fucking care." She thinks. Letting any rule or worry drop away. Focusing completely on Colson.

He licks each fold slowly and firmly. It's not long before she's twitching, pulling on his head begging for him to be inside of her. He pulls her down so that they're nose to nose. Looking into her hungry eyes. "Are you sure?" He asks.

She nods pulling his face to hers. "I'm all in." She heavily breathes. He beams as they kiss each other passionately. He moves his mouth to her neck. She unhooks and slides off her bra, leading him to kiss her pierced breasts. She unbuckles his belt, sliding his jeans and briefs down with his help. She takes his huge cock and slides him slowly into her tight, dripping pussy.

"OHHHHH FUCK." Colson thinks.

He's so big she has to adjust a couple times to take him fully inside of her. He groans in pleasure with each shift. Once he's finally in she begins to slide up and down his cock slowly, shifting her hips along the way. Through deep kisses they both moan in ecstasy. Sliding deeper and faster "Put your hand around my throat" she whispers. Colson's dick rages at her request.

With this, Colson throws the cheetah print coat on the couch beside him. Staying inside of her, he lifts and lays her on it. He slides out when he throws her fishnet covered legs over his shoulders. She inhales excitedly as his dick slides back into her plump, wet pussy.

"Does my dirty, little, whore like that? He asks as he slightly tightens his grip.

"Mhmmmmm" she moans bucking harder against him. She can feel her walls gripping his cock

Luna throws her head back as her mind goes black.

Her body grips his tightly and giggles the way she did for him last night. He can feel her cum on his cock. Smiling he flips her over. She groans in pleasure as he enters her again from behind. After a few pumps, she's slamming her ass against his dick.

"Shit! I don't know if I'm fucking her or if she's fucking me." He thinks amused as he pulls on her long blonde hair, drawing her head back and slapping her shaking bare ass.

He's quickly learning what she likes as she flares up from his actions. He can feel her about to cum. Again. As she bucks harder. He swings her back around. Throwing her legs back over his shoulders, diving deep into her sweet pussy. After a few moments he lets out a loud groan, exclaiming "I'm cumming, Kitten!" as he releases himself inside of her.

"HOLY FUCK!! HOLY FUCK!! HOLLLLLY FUCK!" Her brain can only scream.

She squeezes tight, bucking against his throbbing dick a couple more times before exploding all over them both. Again.

"Me too, Bunny." She giggles lowly in his ear, kissing him on the cheek. He rests his floating head her back.

Their chests heaving together. Him laying warm inside of her. A few moments later he shifts, popping out of her. He rolls her over into his arms, raising her chin and looks into her heavy blue eyes with a bit of fear. "I need you to meet Casie. Because. I'm in love you, Luna. And I'm falling harder every second."

He sees her eyes light up. A tinge of fear as she looks deeply into him. Her heart is racing. She can still feel him sweetly inside of her. He can feel her soul race as she squeezes her thighs tightly around his waist and nods her head.

"I love you too, Colson." She says before they passionately kiss. Once they break away, they lay together, contently wrapped in each others naked bodies. She kisses him on the jaw. "We should go." She says.

"You're probably right." He agrees, helping her up. Standing together, he takes her face in his big hands. "That wasn't my dick talking," he says "I mean it. I love you. Have since I first laid eyes on you all those years ago."

"I know." She says with a smile "I have too." She's reaches up high to kiss him.

As they gets dressed, she sees the 3 cameras in the corners she had meant to look for when she first entered the room. She had anticipated them beforehand.

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Colson returns to the crew in VIP as Luna heads back to the dressing room to change. Once dressed she heads back to VIP. She's looking for Benny. She spots him off to the side, away from Colson.

"Good." She thinks.

Wearing the cheetah print coat, she makes her way over to Benny, slides her bag in VIP, behind the table on her way. As she approaches him, she leans up to his ear, asking him if he'll help her real quick. He nods in agreement. She leads him out of VIP and the main room, off and down a long side hallway. She stops and turns to him. "Imma about to pull some shit in here." She says. "I've got this." She states. "I just need you to stand hard, watch my back, never break character and most importantly... Trust me. Can you do that?" She asks.

Kells has gotten him into crazier situations with less of a heads up. So, he shrugs. "I got you, Brooklyn." He responds with a smile.

"Thank you." She says before turning and firmly opening the black door behind her.

Luna walks directly into the room. There's a man and dozens of monitors. Benny realizes they're in security. "Hi! How are you?" Luna says to the man, not missing a beat. "I'm Luna, you must be Jack." She says with a bright smile, shoving her hand out. He shakes her hand reluctantly. "I've got a problem Jack, that only you can help me with. Now, I'm sure you have an idea of who I am." She says leaning against the counter, both hands in her coat. Lifting her left foot up to his chair and slightly resting it on his dick in a very dangerous manner. "So, let's play a little game. I have 2 numbers in my pockets. "A 5" she says, shaking her left elbow, "that'll help us both. Or." She continues staring Jack in the eyes, emotionless. "A 9." At the end of that sentence, everyone in the room hears the cold, click of steel. Benny, shocked, maintains his composure. Luna smiles. "What'll it be Jack?"

"What do you want?" He asks.

She pulls out a flash drive. "All 3 cameras in Room 2 from the last 2hrs. You know what I'm talking about. I know you watched. 5 or 9, Jack."

"5." Jack says sheepishly reaching for the flash drive. Luna glances over at Benny. They're ok. She keeps her position, watching over Jack's work. In less than 5mins he hands her the flash drive.

"Now. Erase it." She says pushing the ball of her foot further into his cock. He looks at her, equal parts angry, scared and turned on. She feels him begin to grow. "You know you don't want the 9, Jack." She says flatly. With that she watches him delete the footage. While pulling a wad of cash out of her left pocket, she removes her foot. "Thank you, Jack." She says sweetly, handing him the cash and pecking him on the cheek. "Have a good night." She says, lifting off the counter and sauntering out as Benny follows her.

Your dude's a lucky guy." Jack says behind them.

"He knows." She tosses back to him. Thanks again!"

Walking back down the hallway slightly in front of Benny, Luna asks him "You ok?"

"Yup." He says

"Questions?"

"Some."

'Shots and then the fuck up outta here?"

"Yup." With that they round the corner and head to the bar.

At the bar Luna orders 2 double shots of Jameson. "Loaded?" He asks.

"Not even close." She smirks, downing the first shot with him. "Answer anything else once we're outta here and I tell Colson?" She asks.

"No problem, Brooklyn." He tells her as they cheers and slam the last shot. "Let's go round up these Assholes and get the fuck up outta here." Luna agrees and follows Benny to VIP to collect Colson. Suddenly, he stops and turns back to Luna. "How'd you know he'd take the money?" He asks.

"They always do." She shrugs, with a disgusted look on her face before walking passed him to find Colson.

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Colson is back in VIP with the crew and a bunch of girls. His head is swirling.

"I can't believe that just fucking happened! She's a fucking hellcat!" He thinks to himself pleased. Looking around he begins to wonder where Luna is. He thought he'd seen her come back and her bag is by his feet. "Where the fuck is she." He thinks looking at his phone. He has a missed call from the Dr. "Shit, I need to check my voicemail..." He mind drifts as he sees Luna walking through the crowd with Benny. She has on The Cheetah Print Coat. It makes his dick hard immediately. "God Damn, she's fucking hot..... Wherever she was, I'm glad she's smart enough to take Benny with her." He thinks relieved as they enter VIP.

Upon entering VIP, Luna climbs on top of Colson's lap. "Ready to split?" She asks. 'I'm kinda hungry."

Colson laughs "I am too, after that work." He says kissing her. "We ready to be out?" His yell is matched by groans. "Oh well, Bitches.." He starts again. "We gotta be at Nightingale by 1A. So, LET'S GO!! WE OUT!!"

Luna climbs off of him, slides her coat off and sticks it in her bag. Colson takes it, and her hand, leading her through the crowd, outside, into his waiting car.

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As Benny sits down in the driver's seat, Luna and Kells climb into the back. It takes everything for him not to ask Luna a million questions. Not that she could answer, her and Kells are heavily going at it again. He slides up the partition to give them privacy.

"I think my Mans has FINALLY met his match." He can't help but laugh to himself.

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To be continued.....

[crwatters]

College Tip

Haven't seen this one floating around, so I thought I'd share it.

If you're moving into an apartment or rent house and need furniture, most universities have a "surplus warehouse" or similarly titled thing which is where they put excess, outdated, left behind furniture, bikes, etc. From what I've seen they're usually only open to the public one day a week, but you can do a bit of digging and find out when that is online. Some items are free, others will be cheap or really really cheap. Most of the furniture will need a little TLC, but it's worth it imo. Decent, functioning couch for 30$? Seen it in surplus. Set of dining table and chairs for 75$? Seen it. Regular ass desk chair for 5$? Check surplus!

Seriously guys if you need to completely furnish a place on a budget, I highly recommend you check your university's surplus warehouse. A quick google of "[uni] surplus building" or "[uni] surplus warehouse hours" could save you a lot of monies