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welcometothebookreport · 3 years

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Top 10 Books of 2020!

My goal was to try reading 100 books in 2020. That more than happened—thanks for being so weird 2020—but then narrowing that list down to favorites was another story! It was surprisingly not as hard as I expected to think of a book to fill the first, second, and tenth slots… everything in the middle was more of a challenge. Here’s an attempt at a cohesive list of favorites!

10. Curvy Girls Can’t Date Best Friends by, Kelsie Stelting

Summary: It was all fake dating and games until my heart got involved… I wanted to have the best summer ever. To have my first kiss and finally get my brother’s best friend to notice me. So I talked my best friend Carson into helping. He’d do anything for me, and I’d do the same for him. But somewhere between fake dating and pretending to fall in love with him, I fell for real. And it was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. In the last four books of The Curvy Girl Club, Carson and Callie have stayed best friends. Now it’s time for a love story all their own. Start reading Curvy Girls Can’t Date Best Friends today for a story sweeter and more delicious than honey!

Rating (out of 7): 6

Warnings: Depictions and mentions of both child abuse and domestic abuse; fat shaming

Thoughts: It’s best friends. It’s pining. It’s fake dating when they both discover the feels are real--and maybe, perhaps--have been there all along. This is tender, thoughtful, caring, funny. There is forgiveness from old enemies; a reconciling between old friends. My only minor complaint would be the pacing felt rushed after a certain point, leading up to the climax. THe resolution was beautiful, though, and I thoroughly enjoyed this book!

9. Dream Lake: A Friday Harbor Novel by, Lisa Kleypas

Summary: In New York Times bestselling author Lisa Kleypas's Dream Lake, readers well enter the world of Friday Harbor, an enchanting town in the Pacific Northwest where things are not quite as they seem and where true love might just have a ghost of a chance...They say that opposites attract. But what happens when one of them has been devastated by betrayal and the other is so damaged and jaded that his heart is made of stone? Alex Nolan is about as bitter and cynical as they come. One of three Nolan brothers who call Friday Harbor home, he's nothing like Sam or Mark. They actually believe in love; they think the risk of pain is worth the chance of happiness. But Alex battles his demons with the help of a whiskey bottle, and he lives in his own private hell. And then, a ghost shows up. Only Alex can see him. Has Alex finally crossed over the threshold to insanity? Zoë Hoffman is as gentle and romantic as they come. When she meets the startlingly gorgeous Alex Nolan, all her instincts tell her to run. Even Alex tells her to run. But something in him calls to Zoë, and she forces him to take a look at his life with a clear eye and to open his mind to the possibility that love isn't for the foolish. The ghost has been existing in the half-light of this world for decades. He doesn't know who he is, or why he is stuck in the Nolans' Victorian house. All he knows is that he loved a girl once. And Alex and Zoë hold the key to unlocking a mystery that keeps him trapped here. Zoë and Alex are oil and water, fire and ice, sunshine and shadow. But sometimes it takes only a glimmer of light to chase away the dark, and sometimes love can reach beyond time, space, and reason to take hold of hearts that yearn for it…

Rating (out of 7): 6.5

Warnings: alcoholism, divorce, afterlife, spirituality, sexual content, aging (dementia)

Thoughts: I have become a huge Lisa Kleypas fan this year. Her characters are endearing and gripping. This story is emotive, compassionate, caring, and thoughtful in its pursuit of telling two love stories. One that reaches beyond life and death, the other determined to overcome any and all obstacles. The pining, family, togetherness, support, and depth in this story is everything I could have asked for and more.

8. An Ember in the Ashes by, Sabaa Tahir

Summary: Laia is a slave. Elias is a soldier. Neither is free. Under the Martial Empire, defiance is met with death. Those who do not vow their blood and bodies to the Emperor risk the execution of their loved ones and the destruction of all they hold dear. It is in this brutal world, inspired by ancient Rome, that Laia lives with her grandparents and older brother. The family ekes out an existence in the Empire’s impoverished backstreets. They do not challenge the Empire. They’ve seen what happens to those who do. But when Laia’s brother is arrested for treason, Laia is forced to make a decision. In exchange for help from rebels who promise to rescue her brother, she will risk her life to spy for them from within the Empire’s greatest military academy. There, Laia meets Elias, the school’s finest soldier—and secretly, its most unwilling. Elias wants only to be free of the tyranny he’s being trained to enforce. He and Laia will soon realize that their destinies are intertwined—and that their choices will change the fate of the Empire itself.

Rating (out of 7): 7

Warnings: depictions of graphic violence, slavery, mention of brothels, arena style fight-to-the-death scenes, war,

Thoughts: Harrowing, gripping, haunting, inspiring, compelling. An incredible beginning to an amazing series. The love story is a single, red line that weaves between the characters individual stories, twining them in undeniable ways. It was perfect from beginning to end.

7. A Vow So Bold and Deadly by, Brigid Kemmerer

Summary: Fall in love, break the curse. It once seemed so easy to Prince Rhen, the heir to Emberfall. Cursed by a powerful enchantress to repeat the autumn of his eighteenth year over and over, he knew he could be saved if a girl fell for him. But that was before he learned that at the end of each autumn, he would turn into a vicious beast hell-bent on destruction. That was before he destroyed his castle, his family, and every last shred of hope. Nothing has ever been easy for Harper. With her father long gone, her mother dying, and her brother barely holding their family together while constantly underestimating her because of her cerebral palsy, she learned to be tough enough to survive. But when she tries to save someone else on the streets of Washington, DC, she's instead somehow sucked into Rhen's cursed world. Break the curse, save the kingdom. A prince? A monster? A curse? Harper doesn't know where she is or what to believe. But as she spends time with Rhen in this enchanted land, she begins to understand what's at stake. And as Rhen realizes Harper is not just another girl to charm, his hope comes flooding back. But powerful forces are standing against Emberfall . . . and it will take more than a broken curse to save Harper, Rhen, and his people from utter ruin.

Rating (out of 7): 7

Warnings: mentions and depictions of blood, violence, fight scenes,

Thoughts: This is the book that had me diving head first into the pool of all books Brigid Kemmerer. Her style is efficient, clear, vivid, transportive, and emotive. She knows her characters, and has a way of making me feel connected to them. I empathize with them, even when they’re being stupid. She humanizes everyone she writes. Her pacing is perfection. This book is my favorite retelling of Beauty and the Beast out there.

6. Defy the Stars by, Claudia Gray

Summary: She's a soldier--Noemi Vidal is willing to risk anything to protect her planet, Genesis, including her own life. To their enemies on Earth, she's a rebel. He's a machine--Abandoned in space for years, utterly alone, Abel's advanced programming has begun to evolve. He wants only to protect his creator, and to be free. To the people of Genesis, he's an abomination. Noemi and Abel are enemies in an interstellar war, forced by chance to work together as they embark on a daring journey through the stars. Their efforts would end the fighting for good, but they're not without sacrifice. The stakes are even higher than either of them first realized, and the more time they spend together, the more they're forced to question everything they'd been taught was true. An epic and romantic adventure, perfect for fans of The Lunar Chronicles and Illuminae.

Rating (out of 7): 7

Warnings: depictions of space warfare, AI, spirituality and other religious themes explored.

Thoughts: Claudia Gray is one of my favorite authors. She is bold and fearless in her themes. Her characters slay me. Their love story is subtle, yet immediately gripping. She’s transformative. There is a heart and depth explored in this story that moved me to tears multiple times throughout the book.

5. Call It What You Want by, Brigid Kemmerer

Summary: New York Times bestselling author Brigid Kemmerer pens a new emotionally compelling story about two teens struggling in the space between right and wrong. When his dad is caught embezzling funds from half the town, Rob goes from popular lacrosse player to social pariah. Even worse, his father's failed suicide attempt leaves Rob and his mother responsible for his care. Everyone thinks of Maegan as a typical overachiever, but she has a secret of her own after the pressure got to her last year. And when her sister comes home from college pregnant, keeping it from her parents might be more than she can handle. When Rob and Maegan are paired together for a calculus project, they're both reluctant to let anyone through the walls they've built. But when Maegan learns of Rob's plan to fix the damage caused by his father, it could ruin more than their fragile new friendship... In her compulsively readable storytelling, Brigid Kemmerer pens another captivating, heartfelt novel that asks the question: Is it okay to do something wrong for the right reasons?

Rating (out of 7): 7

Warnings: mentions of previously attempted suicide, theft, mention of past standardized test cheating, mention of professor-student consensual relations (the student is 18), discussion of abortion vs. single motherhood

Thoughts: EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS BOOK!!! Whether I agree with all the characters and their opinions and decisions by the end of this book or not, I understand them. I have come through this story with them, and I understand them. I respect them. I cheer for them. I would die for them. The humanity and compassion woven into this story. The many threads and pieces that weave and wind together to make it so beautiful. I repeat: everyone should read this book.

4. Black Rednecks and White Liberals by, Thomas Sowell

Summary: This explosive new book challenges many of the long-prevailing assumptions about blacks, about Jews, about Germans, about slavery, and about education. Plainly written, powerfully reasoned, and backed with a startling array of documented facts, Black Rednecks and White Liberals takes on not only the trendy intellectuals of our times but also such historic interpreters of American life as Alexis de Tocqueville and Frederick Law Olmsted. In a series of long essays, this book presents an in-depth look at key beliefs behind many mistaken and dangerous actions, policies, and trends. It presents eye-opening insights into the historical development of the ghetto culture that is today wrongly seen as a unique black identity--a culture cheered on toward self-destruction by white liberals who consider themselves "friends" of blacks. An essay titled "The Real History of Slavery" presents a jolting re-examination of that tragic institution and the narrow and distorted way it is too often seen today. The reasons for the venomous hatred of Jews, and of other groups like them in countries around the world, are explored in an essay that asks, "Are Jews Generic?" Misconceptions of German history in general, and of the Nazi era in particular, are also re-examined. So too are the inspiring achievements and painful tragedies of black education in the United States. "Black Rednecks and White Liberals" is the capstone of decades of outstanding research and writing on racial and cultural issues by Thomas Sowell.

Rating (out of 100): 100

Warnings: come to it with an open mind and ready to be challenged and think

Thoughts: The definition of economy is: the wealth and resources of a country or region, especially in terms of the production and consumption of goods and services. An economist is an expert in economy. For this reason, I don’t much care to read books written by economists. They tend to come across as superior and smug in their dissemination of facts. This was not the case with Thomas Sowell. Thomas Sowell has this “tell it like it is” way in which he tackles his topics. He follow facts, studies, statistics, public records, and is unapologetic in his delivery. He is a leader among men. His essays were thought-provoking, challenging, insightful, and, best of all, easily understood. He writes with authority, but without condescension. He writes as one who wants to help anyone with a desire to learn. I cannot wait to read more of him this coming year!

3. Theater of War: What Ancient Tragedies Can Teach Us Today by, Bryan Doerries (audiobook read by, Adam Driver)

Summary: This is the personal and deeply passionate story of a life devoted to reclaiming the timeless power of an ancient artistic tradition to comfort the afflicted. For years, theater director Bryan Doerries has led an innovative public health project that produces ancient tragedies for current and returned soldiers, addicts, tornado and hurricane survivors, and a wide range of other at-risk people in society. The originality and generosity of Doerries’s work is startling, and The Theater of War—wholly unsentimental, but intensely felt and emotionally engaging—is a humane, knowledgeable, and accessible book that will both inspire and enlighten. Tracing a path that links the personal to the artistic to the social and back again, Doerries shows us how suffering and healing are part of a timeless process in which dialogue and empathy are inextricably linked.

Rating (out of 7): 7

Warnings: recounting of death, war, and other tragic life circumstances

Thoughts: Buy the audiobook! The visceral heart and soul in the story is even more felt in the compelling reading of Adam Driver. There was pain, but there was healing. Tragedy haunts the world; it haunts each and every one of us in different ways. Stories of how others, real and fictional, deal with their hardships is helpful in dealing with our own, and finding a path forward.

2. A Sky Beyond the Storm by, Sabaa Tahir.

Summary: Picking up just a few months after A Reaper at the Gates left off... The long-imprisoned jinn are on the attack, wreaking bloody havoc in villages and cities alike. But for the Nightbringer, vengeance on his human foes is just the beginning. By his side, Commandant Keris Veturia declares herself Empress, and calls for the heads of any and all who defy her rule. At the top of the list? The Blood Shrike and her remaining family. Laia of Serra, now allied with the Blood Shrike, struggles to recover from the loss of the two people most important to her. Determined to stop the approaching apocalypse, she throws herself into the destruction of the Nightbringer. In the process, she awakens an ancient power that could lead her to victory--or to an unimaginable doom. And deep in the Waiting Place, the Soul Catcher seeks only to forget the life--and love--he left behind. Yet doing so means ignoring the trail of murder left by the Nightbringer and his jinn. To uphold his oath and protect the human world from the supernatural, the Soul Catcher must look beyond the borders of his own land. He must take on a mission that could save--or destroy--all that he knows.

Rating (out of 7): 7

Warnings: death, violence, ghosts, afterlife, sacrifice, loss, fade-to-black love scenes

Thoughts: One of the most satisfying conclusions to a series I have ever read. Truly. READ THE ENTIRE SERIES. SAVOR AND LOVE EVERY LAST BOOK!! AND KNOW THAT THE END IS THE BEST!

1. Letters to the Lost by, Brigid Kemmerer

Summary: Secret letters spark true love in this emotionally compelling romance from the New York Timesbestselling author of A Curse So Dark and Lonely, Brigid Kemmerer. Juliet Young always writes letters to her mother, a world-traveling photojournalist. Even after her mother’s death, she leaves letters at her grave. It’s the only way Juliet can cope. Declan Murphy isn’t the sort of guy you want to cross. In the midst of his court-ordered community service at the local cemetery, he’s trying to escape the demons of his past. When Declan reads a haunting letter left beside a grave, he can't resist writing back. Soon, he’s opening up to a perfect stranger, and their connection is immediate. But neither Declan nor Juliet knows that they're not actually strangers. When life at school interferes with their secret life of letters, sparks will fly as Juliet and Declan discover truths that might tear them apart.

Rating (out of 7): 7

Warnings: loss of sibling, loss of parent, alcoholism, mention of infidelity, mentions of previous physical and emotional child abuse. Overall darker themes dealt with in this book, but in such a compelling way.

Thoughts: There is a reason I have read this book seven times this year. It’s everything I love in a story. It is rich and compelling. It is moving and haunting. It’s adults being flawed, but still adults. It’s teens learning to grow, and also, to still be kids. It’s wonderful!!!!

#maereads #top10reads

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diveronarpg · 4 years

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Congratulations, LISSA! You’ve been accepted for the role of BENVOLIO. Admin Minnie: Our Bellamy has come home at last, and I am so excited to welcome you as well, Lissa! Your application was, in a word, gorgeous. I could viscerally feel Bellamy’s heartache and his struggles with every line, and you mapped out a beautiful peacemaker who has yet to find peace within himself. While I read and reread your prose several times, it was your passion for Bellamy that really made this an easy decision. The level of thoughtfulness and care, Lissa, was next level, truly. It became very clear to us how deeply you loved Bellamy, and I’m so excited to see Bellamy blossom on our dash. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

OUT OF CHARACTER .

ALIAS:

Lissa.

AGE:

21.

PREFERRED PRONOUNS:

She/her.

ACTIVITY LEVEL:

My time is limited because of university and my part-time internship. However, I’d say I’m able to pop up twice/thrice a week, more or less!

TIMEZONE:

GMT -3.

HOW DID YOU FIND THE RP?

I found this RP some time ago, so I can’t say for sure. Probably through the tags, though!

OTHER RP ACCOUNTS:

https://dantesinfcrno.tumblr.com/.

IN CHARACTER .

CHARACTER:

Benvolio as Bellamy Santo Domingo.

WHAT DREW YOU TO THIS CHARACTER?

“ WAR-BEGOTTEN. ” ╱ “ HIS KICKING A MEANS OF DEFENSE FROM CRUELTY. ”

NATURE VERSUS NURTURE, an undying question with no solutions, a concept with a spectrum that falters and crumbles in the hands of Bellamy: a boy, born amidst carnage, picking flowers in haunted fields and gifting beauty upon the world like a stolen flame only pertinent to deities. He wears no crown of laurels upon waves of untamed hair, but every spring spats thorns before his feet. Bellamy cradles them, plunges them against his veins, his chest, his neck, puncturing his flesh with words whispered by fated winds. Kindness is dangerous as a sharp blade, if wielded with enough precision. He refuses, time and time again, this visceral call from the woods, from the ivory castles that know of corpses and festering. He refuses, vices and sins unbecoming of him –– but they are already there, lurking in the shadows since air reached his lungs for the first time. Bellamy pretends not to see it, but those who stare deep into his eyes can recognize the Stygian darkness that swims underneath honeyed warmth. A flame is still scorching, no matter how domesticated.

IN AN INTERLUDE, he swears there will never be carmine stains in his fingers. He lays awake at night, however –– the blood his heart pumps might as well not be his own; might have been harvested off the bodies buried beneath Verona’s sacrilegious grounds. Bellamy wonders, a heavy conscience his first determining trait, if he is not punishment from the heavens to the Santo Domingo lineage, if he is not a life sentence determined by God to appease the remnant lambs saved from slaughter. As he moves through the Montagues, through his own people, Bellamy looks in a mirror, and sees nothing. He has always been a ghost, meant to carry what no one desires to hold close.

BELLAMY IS NOT A SLAUGHTERHOUSE of the likes of his father: he is a morgue, eerie place of eternal unrest. Battlecries do not linger in his tongue as prayers do; his knuckles suffer a lesser offense than his guts once a punch is thrown. Violence is a betrayal to the murdered saints that crawl through his spine, and once again–– Bellamy refuses to bow before his birthright. In a world of dog eats dog, he opts to remain alive until his last breath is stolen from his lungs, his canines and claws kept safely hidden underneath trained porcelain touch. To be made out of steel, and not crush all tender things that take root in his soul –– is it foolish, or is it admirable? The looks of pity are the only answer he has ever gotten.

“ POETIC AND PHILOSOPHICAL SOUL OF THE ANCIENT GREEKS. ” ╱ “ CURSED WITH GENTLENESS. ”

KINDNESS & WEAKNESS, he learns, are not the same. Mercy is a weapon like any other, and Bellamy learns how to use it. They do not see it ; and dismissal becomes a habit for this ruinous shrine Bellamy dares call his body. He supposes, amidst war, it’s a privilege to have surprise by one’s side: no one expects the quietest of children to strike with such ravenous fury, hellfire blazing against raw flesh. Bellamy doesn’t speak of grief, of this century-old wound that has found a nest inside of his lungs, of this monstrous butterfly learning how to morph itself into anger.

I YEARN FOR PEACE. I yield. I must provide diplomacy for a world eager to end in flames. He repeats such verses as if they’re the poetry he is so fond of –– because the truth is, gentle elegance is a decision he has taken much before he could stand on his own legs. He is an absurdity, an oxymoron, an anomaly. Is that such a terrible thing to be? Is he in the wrong, to still mourn over those who wished to see him dead? He prays, quietly into the dead of night. He prays, and the world listens, but only for a moment. This is all the hope he has, and is it not an exit wound worse than any other? Relentless wishing upon a star, begging for a deity to descend from paradise and provide salvation–– in the end of this path, Bellamy forces himself to become Pariah & Messiah (if not him, who else would find reason amongst blasphemous madness? who else would shamefully bow their head before the cross, and beg for their sins to be forgiven?).

THE CURSE THEY SPEAK OF IS A BLESSING IN DISGUISE, for Montagues & Capulets alike are far too consumed by the fiery flames of murderous passion to understand the gravity of each battle they initiate. Bellamy has run out of ways to explain the weight of the blood that paints cobbled streets red ; decides to act as a fortress for his people (this entire city, plagued by a tale of two selfish families). PEACEMAKER, they say, as if it’s an insult –– as if his loyalty doesn’t lie deeper than any other soldier’s ; as if he has not sworn down his life for the chance Verona might see the sun rise in shades of joyous amber ; as if he hasn’t halted his existence to serve & protect.

BELLAMY DOES NOT offer words enlaced with poison to those who subdue him –– his throat aches with screams locked in for too long, but he dares not speak unless he delivers alluring arguments that might lead all out of danger. This is what he has never chosen for himself, and yet–– he bears it. For his father, for his brothers, for Roman and Marcelo, for the warriors that spit on the paths he follows with religious diligence, for the mothers in this nightmarish town that provides no comfort to their sons but death.

THE MIND HE HAS CULTIVATED, albeit mocked by many, is a powerful companion to the tender heart he has crafted with mangled hands. Innocence is vulgar in a world like this –– but Bellamy’s good will is not one borne out of naiveté. This is what both armies do not understand: Bellamy is not moved by his kindness, nor is he propelled by volatile emotions –– what blooms underneath the tender facade is a deliberate choice he will take, time and time again, funded on principles that have raised Athens from the ground up. This is what he will not abdicate. This is what no one sees, for he is more ghost than man, more mind than matter: amidst wicked and tempestuous men, Bellamy raises himself above raging waves, an unmovable marble tower.

HE, OF COURSE, STILL PICKS UP A DAGGER ╱ a gun, infiltrating loveless troops in order to conquer peace. There is no other way, he has realized. Perhaps crumbling is necessary for rebirth ; perhaps some sins can only be washed out with blood. As Francis Butler once said, “the nation that will insist on drawing a broad line of demarcation between the fighting man and the thinking man is liable to find its fighting done by fools and its thinking done by cowards,” so Bellamy goes to the front lines ; not with the blind desire to create chaos ╱ but to make change. If the weight of the pen is not enough, he will find a way to be heard.

“ SINS OF OMISSION. ” ╱ “ PUT OUT THE FIRES. ” ╱

“ SELF-LOATHING. ”

BELLAMY DOES NOT REST, his mind unable to encounter a moment of quiet. When will this end? He could only ever sleep once he turned his back to Verona, bloodshed no longer marring his door –– but still, he woke up in a cold sweat at least once a week, and it felt like betrayal, deep down in his bones. ATLAS could never hide his true nature, for the Earth would still weigh heavily down his shoulders. He wasn’t missed, of course, too much of an oddity, with idealist visions that somehow disturbed the choleric landscape they lived in. And yet, as he traveled around the globe, as he became renowned for his grasp of law & justice, insatisfaction was in the back of his mind. What if–– they died? What if–– Marcelo disappeared one night? What if–– Roman could not handle life on his own? What if––. No amount of change was capable of drowning this out, when the city that has birthed him was still ablaze. You have become selfish. He would stare at open windows, and the desire to book a flight would bellow inside of his every vein. Embrace your fate, for cowardice is unbecoming of a Santo Domingo.

BITTER ONCE HE LEAVES, bitter once he returns. Is there anything he could do, to prevent this miserable tale of a prodigal child coming back to a nest they’d long forsaken? No matter how many books he has memorized, there are no words that can explain this feeling –– no one can comprehend him, for his scars are invisible to most. He stands, tall and proud, but darkness comes for him, and he howls to the moon, for it is the only being who understands his pain. You, too, fester in ruby shades against your will. You, too, become eclipsed by a purpose much larger you could ever hope to be. You, too, are still following the footsteps of the sun. Bellamy can no longer abstain from this war, so he wears adamantine armour (a brilliant mind, a beautiful smile, poignant words). Some days, it’s easier to pretend he is no longer holy. Some days, he drowns the taste of copper from his tongue with wine. Some days, he cries –– for those he killed ; for his own spirit, mutilated. Most days, he becomes a sacred image made out of steel: I am no angel, but I can try, I must try.

“ BELLAMY MAY BE BORN INTO WAR, MAY HAVE BEEN BRED INTO IT, BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN HE WILL HAVE TO SUBMIT TO IT — NO, HE WILL FIGHT. ”

( ADDENDUM . ) In the novel, Benvolio is a static character, lacking much depth beyond his diplomatic role, as he is often the only voice of reason amidst a vicious crowd led by a herd mentality. I aim to translate his wish for peace as his primary motivation, but root it deeper –– the system in which Bellamy was raised in should have, in theory, destroyed all tenderness his nature would have provided him with. So where does it come from? How has he protected this piece of himself, even when surrounded by death? Bellamy is a strong character –– not only because of his physique, but because his mind is a fortress. I believe his philosophical spirit has always pushed Bellamy to see life beyond the walls of his own home. I believe the love he felt specifically for Roman and Marcelo urged him to value humanity much more than any other soldier of his kind. His gentleness has always been a choice: not always a conscious one, but a choice nonetheless. But no one has only one principle to follow, and morality is a grey and temptatious thing. Bellamy might not be easily led to a fight, but he has always been a protector –– his self-loathing and the ingrained idea that his life is worth less combine to form this selfless persona, sometimes to the point of toxicity, to the detriment of his own being, willing to do it all for whomever is in need.

What is most intriguing to me, concerning Bellamy, is that he is a paradox in more ways than one, which creates a multitude of paths he could take. He strives for peace, but is still fighting a war. In his core, he believes this conflict is useless and only acts as a catalyst for more pain, but since he desires to protect his loved ones (which includes the mob he was raised in, his family and friends, but might as well include a stranger in trouble) & honor his name, he came back to Verona as soon as he was summoned. He has been altruistic for so long it has worn him out, and now selfishness claws at his bones (he has left once, and perhaps he still thinks too often about doing so again –– Bellamy dreams of forgetting this city, wakes up and tries to repent for wishing to find an identity that goes beyond his occupation inside the Montague ranks). The kindness he chooses to exude is in high contrast to the anger that boils on his blood like a second skin –– he is tired of this game, he is exhausted of worrying and burying everyone that has once made him smile (and what does it take, for a guardian angel to turn his back on his people? What does it take, for a god to abandon his creations to bloodshed, and finally allow forgetfulness to consume his brain? I feel like Bellamy is constantly on the edge of an abyss, staring into the void, the point of no return daring him to step further). It almost feels like his body and his mind are disjointed, and his own wishes have been suppressed in order for him to fill in the shoes his family needs him to.

I don’t think Bellamy is moved by passion and intense emotions, even though his biggest motivators are linked to the people he cares about –– in fact, he cares so much about them, that he has always been willing to die by the sword if it meant his father and mother would be safe, if it meant Roman and Marcelo could enjoy a longer and happier life. He is not a cowardly man, never had the chance to be, even when the world became his home –– I envision that Bellamy has seen and lived many tragedies, probably had his hands on a few of them. It will weigh down on his back, on his shoulders. This type of character will always carry an omen on their bodies, no matter how hard they try to wash it out. I think this is a cycle that shackles Bellamy down and he still isn’t sure if he can break free from it (or even if he wants to do so, for being selfish has brought him unbearable guilt during his travels & Bellamy can’t forgive himself for straying away from the path delineated for him since birth): he was raised to be lethal, and he remains in this dark setting where flowers can not bloom, trying to force the petals to come out anyway, trying to grasp the sun and gift it to Verona, and the inevitable failing of this turns him disgusted by his own reflection, desperate to prove himself and justify his existence by doing his duty for the name Montague.

WHAT IS A FUTURE PLOT IDEA YOU HAVE IN MIND FOR THE CHARACTER?

GODHOOD. Verona is a city of sinners, and Bellamy’s hands are not devoid of their own –– however, in them, there is a gentleness carved out not from the absence of violence, but despite it ; a temple raised in the name of Agape, as Bellamy becomes a god, ready to purge & forgive, to kiss the feet of those who have walked upon a dirtied path & purify them. Odin Bello is not the first to use the Santo Domingo’s ears as a confessionary, and he certainly won’t be the last –– there is something in his eyes that prompts people to open up ; to make offerings and sacrifices in exchange of honeyed prayers, for it’s the holiest thing Verona has to offer (a boy still, whose halo is faded ╱ whose body’s a litany of mysteries and nocturnal waves). This is the closest to peace they can get, half-angel at their doorstep, wings bled dry, gunpowder on his hands –– it is sublime as it is terrifying, and some can not bear it (Rafaella, for one, seems to be terrorized by his very image, insistent on driving him away as he pleads for her to see the light: where in God’s name is the child I’ve met, don’t you wish to forge a kinder ending to us all?). In his search for peace, Bellamy has long forgotten his own humanity –– he’s always had to bury it in order to fulfill his role as a son, as a warrior, as a scholar, as a peacemaker (there is no space for him to simply be, and he often wanders around Verona, searching for an exit ╱ the world has not given him an answer, neither has the mob). What is he, but a weapon? What is he, but a forsaken deity? Bellamy has crossed oceans and continents, and still–– he isn’t seen. Is there one to embrace him fully, vices & virtues, blood moon & sunshine? Is there a way for Santo Domingo to dissolve himself of his own existence, but without guilt? The thoughts often haunt him –– but alas, he has to rise in the morning, for his own life is not the heaviest weight he has to carry.

( ADDENDUM . ) Unlike the two other plots I will lay out in the next sections, this one is directed inwards. Bellamy, in my perception, has always seen himself in relation to others –– how he can help, what can he do for them, how his existence can be a tool for others to improve their own lives. He has always filled in a role: his motivations are genuine, but how does one push forward, when dedicating all of their energies to everyone but themselves? I think Bellamy had his time away from home & from the traditional boxes he had to fit himself into, but still–– it was marred by so much guilt and the constant stress of receiving dire news, because Bellamy had always been aware Verona would not change its ways, especially not with him gone. So many of his frustrations are still boiling underneath his skin –– he is out of place, he hasn’t found himself, he doesn’t feel like he can fully pursue his dreams & wants because it would mean letting someone else down. He is still the soldier that put all of his desires on hold in the name of honouring his ancestors, and while he takes pride on this, on his family–– it is oh, so unfulfilling, to aim for peace and come back to war, to raise your voice and not be heard.

I’m very invested in my character’s psyches, and I fully believe every character has many layers that deserve to be explored with utmost dedication –– no one is merely one thing, and it would be quite sad to portray any fictional being as such. I want to explore Bellamy’s vision of the family he so loves, and for which he has given up so much for, how adoration balances itself out with the bitterness he tries to drown so desperately, how he dedicates himself to his job & position even though he feels disgusted by posing as a bodyguard, when the loyalty of those he protects is bought with money and not with the respect he preaches all living creatures should be deserving of. I want to see beyond his quest for peace –– will he ever let his guard down? Will there ever be someone he trusts, beyond the feud that extends over Verona? Will Bellamy find understanding, someone he can speak to, someone that crawls underneath his skin and finds he is so much more than a peacekeeper? Most importantly, will Bellamy discover himself? Will he find his strength to power through this reality he never wished to come back to? Where will he find it? How will it transform him? Is love capable of holding him up, moving him forward? Will the hunger for more break his heart, will the ugliness of bloodshed turn him sour at last?

BROTHERS IN ARMS. Bellamy is a man of the past –– his core survives on sweet memories of a flourishing spring that will never come back. Laughter, juvenile & booming, was something he could only share with Roman and Marcelo, the two friends he feels actually belong to him, with him. Bellamy has never dared to utter his adoration aloud to either of them, has never admitted he’d rather die than see them perish. The love he has given them was perhaps lukewarm, when compared to these two feisty demons with hellfire for hearts: Bellamy’s affection was a tender kiss to the temples, soft massages to erase their aches, a moment of quiet as he wiped the sweat from their foreheads. He never promised to remain by their side, but in his chest–– he knows his place is right beside them, perhaps below them, but still close. And Bellamy has thrown that to the wind once he up and left, consumed with a selfish desire to live as a person, and not a warrior born out of a patronym. He loves them, will always love them most of all –– but maybe that is not enough. Maybe there is an abyss in between them, an ocean separating their souls. Lucky for them, Bellamy is willing to cross it with undeterred determination –– anything to safely tuck them away inside his rib cage ; his drive to protect grows stronger when near them (is there anything he wouldn’t do for these remembrances of boyhood? He is scared of discovering there isn’t, so he blinds himself once Marcelo comes by, once Roman’s cologne reaches his nose). The tally of his sins would grow & grow, and the only ones that would make such fate bearable would be his brothers.

( ADDENDUM . ) Bellamy’s friendship with Roman and Marcelo is one of the things I’m extra eager to explore! First and foremost, because I am sure, beyond Bellamy’s immediate family, these two are his most important people & there is very little he wouldn’t do for them. And, boy, would I like to discover what the limits of this friendship are! Is there a line Bellamy, the loyal Patroclus to these two Achilles, would not cross, even when concerning the people closest to his heart? Would he ever forsake them in the name of his morals? Alternatively, what absurdities would he commit on their names? What lengths would he cover, to see both of them living a long and happy life?

In the book, Benvolio is in a lower position than Mercutio and Romeo –– which is mirrored here, so it opens up a myriad of possibilities. Italian mafias are known for a strict code of conduct & sense of hierarchy, and they also work as famiglias, obviously. So I picture that, although they were raised together, there was always a thin line separating them: Bellamy always considered himself less than Roman and Marcelo, and was satisfied to occupy this lower rank & serve them in any way he could. It interests me in the sense that, even though they’re his closest friends & probably the few people that have always accepted him (because this is another one of his struggles –– both his “softer” personality and his gender identity are probably strange concepts to his traditional family in the same manner, and acceptance is not something Bellamy has ever had plentiful of), I still think Bellamy tries and holds himself back with them –– there are parts of him that are occulted, and purposefully so, from the ones he loves most. So I’m thinking, once he left, it was probably a huge shock for Roman and Marcelo –– no one saw it coming. Of course Bellamy did his best to remain in contact, but still, dissidence is dissidence. So how do they receive him back? Have Roman and Marcelo ever actually seen Bellamy with the same eyes he sees himself with? How much of an abyss has originated in between them, after these four years of distance?

BLOODHOUND. Loyalty and obedience, when combined, are quite a dangerous threat to one’s honesty and commitment to good deeds, especially when an involvement with the mob is concerned. His continuous absence has not gone unnoticed –– and many have frowned upon his return. Bellamy, a soldier? he has heard them laugh. Bellamy, a fighter? he has felt their scorn from the weight of the stares that follow him as he steps into a room. It brings him sick nostalgia ; one that leaves his stomach turned upside down. The children that used to sneer at him for taking care of stray dogs & cats are now his companions in this senseless war (and yet they all seem too eager to see Bellamy fail –– they doubt him, untrust creating a wall between them. More than isolating, it’s demeaning to a man who is willing to give out his life to honor his father’s ╱ a man who has slashed all of his hopes & dreams to fulfill a path that does not belong to him). The bellicose bickering within the ranks, however, does not disturb him –– Benvolio does not get the credit he is deserving of, for hiding so well underneath porcelain features. These soldiers have nothing on the silent storm that builds inside of Benvolio –– his heritage has always been written out in shallow graves, tainted by fate ; by the numerous gods of Death. Now, he is forced to reach for it, to hold it (it scorches his fingers, it gifts him endless agony, but he lets it have its rightful place next to his beating heart). How far into umbriferous rivers can he sink? ╱ What is the limit of this painful allegiance to his own name? Bellamy does not sleep, for all his nights are wasted away in wondering –– what will I become? And that is perhaps the only murder he is not ready to commit.

( ADDENDUM . ) Concerning this point, I’d like to explore a few paths. Firstly, how was Bellamy received back by the Montagues? He was never a figure on the receiving end of much respect, since his quest for peace turned him into a black sheep of sorts, but surely leaving amidst a war was not an act appreciated by many. Are there suspicions of him? Is he a victim of something similar to military abuse from his peers? Trust was certainly lost, and Bellamy is willing to take the steps to conquer it back –– not for himself, but in the name of his poor father, who deserves as much. The point is, how far is he willing to go for this acceptance? Better yet, in order to show the loyalty that he has always cherished for his parents & for the Montagues, is Bellamy willing to go against his principles? Of course, he is wearing their armour while vouching for peace, but this is not a plan that can be considered definitive.

He is merely a soldier, but would he go against the hierarchy he was raised to respect, if he felt the orders given were unjust? Spoiler alert: I think he certainly would, which would only make the trust he is desperate to regain even more of a distant perspective. I think Bellamy would struggle to try to maintain the scales even, to find a balance between obedience and his principles –– but that won’t work forever, and, at some point, he will have to decide what reigns (and that is one more inner turmoil for him to face). This is something that will always be at the core of his development, in my opinion, and it can fluctuate.

For example, Bellamy is a scholar. I see him as the observing type, listening before he speaks. He tries to understand people to the best of his ability. So, of course, he will interact with Capulets and, instead of seeing them as the enemy, he will more likely take a humanist approach. These are individuals, with their own families & struggles, not beasts to be slaughtered –– this is where Odin Bello comes in, for I think he’ll be a very important piece for Bellamy’s development in this sense, because the Santo Domingo willfully trusts people, no matter their background (everyone should have a second chance, should they not?). He is not ignorant or unaware of how this can end, but he is certainly a character with the most disposition to understand someone coming from a different place than he is.

If the time comes where he has to end one of them (and I’d like him to –– whether because it’s a request from Roman or Marcelo themselves, or a decision Bellamy comes to in order to defend them, because his protective nature is not just for show, and it definitely has darker roots), it would be a large blow to his constitution as a person. I don’t think Bellamy would ever forgive himself, and guilt would consume him –– it’s a great source to explore the underlying shadows he has, his self-hatred, and where would those things lead him (would he leave? Would he consider himself, at one point, far too gone & take a leap into war? Would he take his own life? Would he ever betray the Montagues to save another?).

I think this is intriguing as well, because Bellamy’s motivations are directed outwardly –– to achieve peace for the city, to save his loved ones from pain, so on and so forth. So his relationships to others will be determinants to the paths he’d take –– because it’s an instinct of his, to think of others before himself. But, then again, can he be convinced to embrace his selfishness? Can he turn his back to them all, if enough buttons are pushed? Everyone has a breaking point, and Bellamy seems to outright neglect his needs and limitations in order to step in for others –– which means a breakdown is in order, but also that it will take plenty of build-up!

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WITH KILLING OFF YOUR CHARACTER?

Yes, for sure, if it serves a purpose!

IN DEPTH .

IN-CHARACTER INTERVIEW:

› WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE IN VERONA? ‹

CARAMEL-HUED IRISES meet the ethereal roof of the Cathedral of Verona –– it used to be his favorite place, even when the Capulets reigned over it, for it raised Bellamy closer to a God he could hear ╱ could understand better than he could a war that tinged his family with nonsensical losses and burials, hollowed out spaces carved on their roots as the sunset started resembling more a battleground than a kingdom of beauty. Bellamy recalls the singing that used to echo inside luxurious walls, filling his heart with choirs of warm voices (the boy swore he could feel an angel’s grasp touching his hands, inviting him to reach higher ╱ he never did, terrified of the consequences of holiness, but perhaps he was gifted with a martyr’s heart, and was that not much heavier?). Now, however, the Montague mark has erased memories of saints & softness alike –– there is always a dulled tud to be heard ; a silent ache overflowing from his bones. Bellamy taps his pen against the question he posed against himself: it was a heavy blow too soon since his return, but the Santo Domingo only knows kindness to wounds that do not belong to him. There is a heavy sigh as mulls over his options –– even his home is a lie, one that bears a dismantled innocence he’d rather avoid. In the corner of his notebook, Bellamy writes down, cursive letters delineated with delicacy: “ the library. ” It is no different than the church, for the countless shelves boast about the Montague heritage –– in Verona, there is nowhere to turn, for every piece of the city tells a story not in ink, but with blood (he tries to tell himself he does not hate this, that a part of him does not fester once he walks outside, breathes in the air soaked with death). When Bellamy sinks into immeasurable knowledge, however, it’s easier to forget the reality that awaits him outside the Montague’s fortress –– even as a man, as a soldier, Bellamy lingers in empty rooms, a stack of books by his side as the hours come and go (he does not distract himself with the noises outside, with the possibilities with sharp claws, as poets and philosophers and theorists feed him sublime words). What else could he ask for, but this make-shift serenity?

› WHAT DOES YOUR TYPICAL DAY LOOK LIKE? ‹

IT IS PATHETIC OF HIM, to gather the unstopping questions he received upon his return & write them down to pin answers proper enough (underneath his skin, however, the truth lurks as a viper: you can only spit out honesty to yourself, face half-eclipsed, in secret ╱ no one desires to hear you once the pleasant river that flows down your tongue stanches ; once the corpses start floating up from the depths of your soul to the shore of your lips, disfigured & dismembered, like the crude words you never let out). His handwriting seems to stare into his soul, calloused fingers trembling as his mind splits –– the facade, his candor, the middle-ground that is as unsatisfying as what Bellamy has to offer. He is twenty-four, a degree in law under his belt with a specialization on international relations –– but he is a bodyguard ╱ a soldier (it all depends on who asks) ; and his most prized possession is no longer his mind, but the strength of his brawl. Bellamy finds it strange, even, that they trust his hands to protect –– most days are accompanied by the weighty stare of his peers, as if he is not a pacifist but instead a grenade. It is almost demeaning, for a man of the law to stand by people, but only for a price (as if any life can be monetized ; as if that is not a sin by itself). His mere stance inside the Montague ranks make him a corrupted figure, unclean –– it’s worth it, he mumbles under his breath, it’s what I was made for (his heart seems to rebel with the strength of a caged bird as he steps further into this organization).

His days are spent idly, almost –– his fists are always clenched ; bile is always clinging to his throat, acidic & nauseating. There is no beauty to uncover in Verona, no enthralling tales waiting to be discovered. –––– I spend all of my days trying to be heard, even though I am well aware soldiers are not supposed to have mouths. –––– he whispers to himself, a tender smile forming on his lips (it’s an instinct, more than a reflection of joy). One day, perhaps, his fight will be worth it –– at least, that’s what he tells himself, in order to have half an hour of rest every dawn.

› WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR BIGGEST MISTAKE THUS FAR? ‹

IT’S A QUESTION THAT HAUNTS HIM SINCE CHILDHOOD, for Bellamy often wonders what he could’ve done differently –– is there any choice he could’ve taken, that would spare him of these results? No matter the frequency with which he falls into these pits, the conclusion he comes to tends to be the same: fate would have been kinder only if he had been born under a different name, far away from the plagued streets of Italy –– but since he is a Santo Domingo, the list of his mistakes extends itself much further than the date of his genesis, going back to the first man to shed their skin in the honour of a Montague and not their own. Bellamy’s nails dig through the palms of his hands –– it throbs, but it’s the subdued ache that he is used to welcoming with open arms (he does not pity himself, for his low worth is a fact ingrained on the insides of his thighs and his teeth). –––– What mistake have I not made? –––– he wonders aloud, and his voice echoes and shatters inside this chamber of forgiveness (but even God has abandoned him, no glories to be bestowed upon Bellamy’s solitary altar). His eyes are closed once he starts scribbling, uninterrupted consciousness as he lists his regrets: tearing apart my mother’s womb ; surviving the trials humanity forced upon a frail child’s body ; laughing when I shouldn’t have ; refusing to smile when I should’ve ; abandoning the city that gifted me all I have ; returning to the place that crushed my hopes ; being too tender ╱ being too harsh ; simply being –– not a fleshed warrior, not a kinder deity (just Bellamy, a fine friend, and nothing more).

› WHAT HAS BEEN THE MOST DIFFICULT TASK ASKED OF YOU? ‹

TO STOP VALUING LIFE, is what he writes down, without much thought. As a combatant, one must first learn how to fall (how to perish) before picking up a sword or lifting their fists. As a protector, Bellamy grew up listening that his life was no more than a shield to his king –– and perhaps, he never truly learned how to give this up, this desire to become more than these red threads of fate ordered him to be (more than carnage, this was his reason for leaving, was it not? To find the parts of Bellamy Santo Domingo that extended beyond mob ranks & fancy nomenclatures for murderers). His dilemma was a sword with multiple edges, and it ended nested inside his chest, puncturing his heart –– no one seemed to mean a thing for the war that raged on, no matter how beloved ; entire families could be wiped clean and left without a proper ending ; kind strangers could become his next target (and, oh, perhaps the smile Bellamy had given them was more ominous than an act of docility ; perhaps he has more claws and canines than he wants to admit).

› WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE WAR BETWEEN THE CAPULETS AND THE MONTAGUES? ‹

I WANT IT TO END, and the words are furious, burning against paper –– his pulse seems to strike with force against his jugular (Bellamy feels every beat, and in his mind, there’s always the awareness it might be his last). –––– It has gone for far too long, it is not worth it –– it has never been. –––– he is a preacher to no one but himself in this moment, solitude providing him an outlet for the emotions he so adores to bottle up, muttering under his breath as the light inside his eyes flickers (it can’t go out, but God –– how to keep a candle ablaze when the winds blow harsher with each new day? How to maintain the warmth inside his muscles when winter consumes him whole? How, how, how?). Bellamy pushes against the current, but his legs are paralysed and frozen ╱ phantom limbs, as he tries not to succumb to the ghostly nature that has followed his every step. Bellamy writes, and writes, and writes –– he has also ran away, he has also tried to become someone else. But now, he is determined to fight –– he isn’t sure of the how or when, but the gun already weighs in the palm of his hand. Time is ticking ; eyes bore into his back. I WANT IT TO END, AND I WILL END IT (and, oh, Lord, what is the cost of this one more choice?).

IN-CHARACTER PARA SAMPLE:

EXTRAS:

Pinterest board.

#accepted #accepted: benvolio

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imagine-loki · 5 years

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Giftless

TITLE: Giftless CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 46/50

AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE:

Imagine that you are Stark’s niece and you secretly share a strong relationship with Loki since he entered the crew. One day you get hurt so bad during a mission that you are about to die. Loki knows a spell that will save you and share his immortality with you but you and he will be linked forever sharing thoughts, pain, emotions…

RATING: T NOTES/WARNINGS: Also on AO3 click here

Fury told you to keep out for Balder before you went back on patrol. If he’d been spotted once, he would be out causing more trouble. He had already tried to take over the world once. No one knew what he was up to, but everyone was on edge from seeing him again. Especially when The Harlequin and some of the other big super villains were acting up as well.

Nothing happened that night, or for many to come. You spent a lot of long nights at the end of summer catching bad guys, but saw no sign of Balder.

“When does your summer vacation end?” Loki asked you one evening while you were patrolling the streets in the warehouse district.

“September 1st,” you replied. It was going to suck balancing being a superhero and going to high school. Especially with how many AP classes you were taking. Fury had already been working to get you permission to leave class for emergency healings. You had the feeling that wasn’t going over well.

“That is not very far away,” he commented. He sounded sad that he’d be losing having you almost all day every day.

“I know, and I’m not sure the school will let you be my guard this year,” you reminded him sadly. You’d enjoyed having him as a guard. “They’re bound to know I’m a super now and can protect myself…” that was going to make a lonely year if they didn’t allow you to have your Loki. You hadn’t realized how lonely your life had been until Loki had come into it. On top of that, by turning the idiot jock into a vegetable and your new distrust for all of your classmates, you were bound to be a social pariah, despite being Tony Stark’s niece and famous.

That night’s patrol was quiet, but you still had to finish your circuit before you could go back to the tower for movies and ice cream. You were halfway wishing for a healing call so you could leave the area early. It was that boring and slow. On top of that, you hated patrolling the warehouse district. It was creepy. You shouldn’t be concerned about things that seemed creepy with how much power you had, but at the end of the day, you were still just a teenage girl. You wouldn’t actually hope for a healing call, since that would mean one of your friends was hurt badly enough that you needed to be called in, but still…

You really hated being both bored and creeped out.

About halfway down a block, you and Loki both stopped short, seeing the two clowns at the end of the street. You slipped into the shadows quickly and smoothly to watch them. It only took you a moment to realize that they hadn’t see you. They were obviously on some kind of mission heading somewhere important.

So you and Loki both had the same terrible idea at the same moment. /We should follow them/ you both thought to the other at the same time. With a silent grin, you both moved at the same time to follow the clowns, hoping they would lead you back to their hideout. You cast illusions around yourselves, making you nearly invisible.

You followed them through the streets of the warehouse district and into one of the abandoned warehouses. It seemed like just a normal abandoned warehouse, but they went straight to the back of it and you followed them down a flight of stairs, hoping you were getting close to their hideout so you could call it in.

You ended in a huge open room at the bottom of the stairs. You took a few steps in when the lights burst on, blinding you. You heard a crackle of electricity from your pocket and a whoosh and thunk next to you. You looked over to see what it was. Not much could make such a whoosh-thunk noise.

It was Loki.

Loki.

Loki had been the recipient of that whoosh-thunk sound.

He had a spear piercing all the way through his chest. “No!” you screamed as he collapsed. With a practiced flick of your hands you threw up a barrier of flames around you, shielding you from further attacks. “Hold on, Loki,” you begged as you reached for your phone only to find it dead.

Not dead from lack of batteries, not dead from no service, but dead like someone had fried the poor thing. You couldn’t call for help, couldn’t call for backup. You were cut off.

You grabbed Loki’s arm and tried to teleport the pair of you out of there, but your power just fizzled away. Teleporting wasn’t happening. You were trapped in this room. There was no choice. “I’m sorry, love,” you told him and ripped the spear roughly from his chest and had to listen to his howl of pain. You didn’t have time to be gentle. You couldn’t save him if you had to be gentle.

You held your glowing hands to the wound, healing him in the middle of danger, because you would both die if you didn’t take the time and power to heal him. You just hoped that you could get him up and battle ready fast. This was as big of a healing as the one you had done on Tony. It was nearly an identical wound. You would be tapped and next to useless when it was done. It was in that moment, in the moment when you realized that the wound was identical, that you knew for certain that this was a trap.

You couldn’t focus on that. You had to save Loki. It was your only chance to get out of this alive. So you threw your magic into healing him, hoping you would get out of this hell. If he didn’t make it now, neither of you would.

You heard the clowns standing around your shields of flames, but they didn’t try to breach them. It was the only good part of this so far. You were safe behind the fire.

Loki was healing, though slowly. It took so much longer than you would have liked, but you got the wound healed. Loki opened his eyes while you fought to hold onto consciousness, usefulness, and magic. You couldn’t succumb yet, no matter how much power you had just dumped into Loki. There was still a battle to face.

Loki managed to haul you to your feet as your fire shield failed. You saw him reach out a hand, trying to summon a shield of his own, but he was so newly healed that he couldn’t manage it. You tried to summon the power back, but couldn’t, not in time. You had put too much into the healing.

You grabbed for your daggers as hands grabbed you, yanking you from Loki’s side. You shrieked and again tried to reach for your daggers, for your fire, telekinesis, anything, but this was a well-planned trap. They had planned to make you weak and helpless when they got to their plan. You struggled against the hands who held you, but it was no use. Some kind of thick material was forced over your hands, keeping you from moving them. If you couldn’t use your hands, you couldn’t use your powers. They cuffed your hands together in front of you.

It was then that they started attacking you, kicking and punching and laughing the entire time. You fought off their attacks as best you could, but you were a bleeding bruised mess in moments. It was so hard to fight when your brain was foggy, your magic drained, your powers inaccessible, your hands bound.

A figure materialized in front of you as the clowns stepped away. “Enough, now,” the voice said kindly in a familiar accent. you looked up at the figure through hazy eyes. It was Balder, Loki’s brother, who looked nearly identical to Thor, but much harsher, more stern and battle worn. You reached up automatically, trapped in battle haze, trying to defend yourself. He grabbed your shackled wrists. “I said that’s enough now.” He wrapped his arms around you in an embrace that might have been comforting in other circumstances. You screamed and thrashed against him, fighting with your every last ounce of strength, until you sagged helpless in his embrace. He shoved a strip of cloth in your mouth, effectively gagging you. “There we go, easy now, you have been hurt enough for one day,” he told you gently. You knew you had only been hurt because of him. His kind words and tone didn’t fool you. “Shh, you’ve done enough. You have fought bravely, but there is no shame in living to fight another day. You are on our side now after all, my dear.” He swept you up into his strong arms and settled you gently on a sturdy, straight backed chair. He had the clowns wrap chains around you holding you there securely, while promising it was just so you wouldn’t inadvertently hurt yourself. You just panted, exhausted, sagged against your bonds, trying to force your brain to come up with some sort of plan to get us out of this.

Balder moved to the middle of the room then, turning to Loki. “Very well done, Brother, though it took you long enough. I knew you would complete your assignment and bring her to our side. The strongest super in the city,” he purred the words and glanced at you. You couldn’t see Loki’s face from where you were bound. He was standing, though surrounded by clowns with weapons pointed at him, just in case he decided to do something stupid, or express a change of heart. “It was very clever indeed for you to tell me how her powers work and exactly how much healing she would have to do to incapacitate her. Very well done indeed, Brother,” Balder’s tone was jovial, congratulating.

It couldn’t be true. It just couldn’t.

Loki couldn’t be Balder’s spy.

#Loki #Lover #Submitted fic #submission #giftless #chapter 46 #nekoamamori

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thecomicsnexus · 5 years

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Final Crisis

CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS #12 MARCH 1986 BY MARV WOLFMAN, GEORGE PEREZ, JERRY ORDWAY, TOM ZIUKO AND TOM MCCRAW (RE-COLORED VERSION)

SYNOPSIS (FROM DC DATABASE)

In Brainiac's starship, Dolphin, Captain Comet, Rip Hunter, Animal Man, the Atomic Knight, and Adam Strange convince the reviving robot that his memory was tampered with to make him forget the Crisis. Admitting that his power is inadequate to battle the Anti-Monitor, he sets course for the world of a more powerful being. On Earth, the Anti-Monitor's visage is seen in the skies all over the globe. He repeats that the Earth is now in the anti-matter universe. His past victories over positive universes are meaningless, he says, because of the super-heroes' efforts to stop him. When he lists Supergirl and the Flash as casualties, Kid Flash demands to know what has happened.

The Supermen scan the globe and watch the populace panicking. Harbinger appears, and teleports them to a chosen destination, then gathers Dr. Light from Japan, leaving Sunburst to defend the island. When Dr. Light states that she caused Supergirl's death, Harbinger replies that the battle had already killed Supergirl, and that the Anti-Monitor's final attack merely gave her a swift death. In the skies, the darkness splits into a million shadow demons, which begin an all-out attack on humanity, and the super-heroes mass to resist them. The Global Guardians team with other heroes to free their native lands from the threat, but the demons' numbers seem endless. The Phantom Stranger summons Dr. Mist to help revive the Spectre who lies comatose. Below, Harbinger has gathered a large group of heroes, along with Pariah and Alex, to lead a final assault on their nemesis. Alex creates a bridge between universes, and they depart near Apokolips.

Brainiac's ship goes into stationary orbit, and he and his guests teleport to the planet, where Darkseid appears and introduces himself.

Back on Earth, the majority of the heroes are still battling the demons. The Dove is slain by a shadow-being as his brother watches in horror.

In Dr. Fate's Salem tower, the magically powered heroes have gathered to pool their shamanistic might. The Earth-2 Green Lantern and Dr. Occult form the nexus of their energy.

On Qward, in the anti-matter universe, Harbinger and the heroes have arrived in the Anti-Monitor's old headquarters. Kid Flash insists on joining them because of his mentor's demise. Suddenly, an image of the Flash appears to him—the last one Barry cast before his death. Wally follows the afterimage to where an insane Psycho-Pirate clutches at an empty uniform. Kid Flash knocks him out, and realizes that Barry Allen is truly dead when Lady Quark finds his ring. Pariah informs them that a great concentration of evil lies before them. They follow to find a towering Anti-Monitor, ready for the final slaughter.

In Atlantis, Aquaman leads his underwater legions against the shadows. Lori Lemaris saves a trapped Mera with a force beam. A demon closes in on her and kills her. In Chicago, Green Arrow of Earth-2 is killed by a shadow. In Philadelphia, Cyborg, the Son of Vulcan, the Vigilante, and the New Wildcat continue rescue operations.

In New Orleans, Shade the Changing Man witnesses the death of Prince Ra-Man. In Skartaris, Travis Morgan leads his forces against the black menaces. In Gotham City, both Clayface II and the Bug-Eyed Bandit perish at the hands of the demons. In Salem, the tide finally turns. The supernatural crusaders send their combined force in a net of energy to gather the demons from the Earth's surface, and bind them helpless in space. Over the Earth, lives have been lost, including those of Kole, Huntress, and Robin, but other lives have been saved. For a moment, the survivors can take stock.

On Qward, the Supermen of Earth 1 and 2, Captain Atom, Lady Quark, Firehawk, Wonder Woman, and other tarot's strike at the Anti-Monitor, but he ignores their blows, feeding on the energy of a nearby star, As Dr Light absorbs the energy of one of the binary suns they are between, the Anti-Monitor feels his power draining away. Alex begins to drain the anti-matter energy away from their enemy. Negative Woman uses her negative-self to bind the Anti-Monitor and inhibit him: then Harbinger leads all the energy-producing heroes against him, Dr. Light blasts him with the energy of a sun, and he falls into the ruins of his fortress. Alex creates a dimensional hole, large enough to enclose the Earth and return it to its proper universe. The heroes follow. The ball of bound demons hover and then fall on the fallen enemy. Thus, the Anti-Monitor absorbs his slaves energies and rises again, while the heroes start to give battle. Wonder Woman is caught in a withering flash of power, and is borne away to an unknown destination. Superman of Earth-1 and Lady Quark vow deadly revenge, but Kal-L knocks them out, and tells Superboy to take them back. Since he has no world and no wife to return to, the elder Superman has the least to lose. Then he confronts the monstrous Anti-Monitor, and batters him. Superboy sends Superman and Lady Quark back through Alex's shrinking body, and turns to aid him. Superman continues his one-man war against the Anti-Monitor, striking telling blows, while the villain, his power waning, absorbs more energy from the anti-cosmos, and blasts him and Superboy. Darkseid, watching the conflict on a viewscreen, proclaims his planet to be endangered if the Anti-Monitor survives, sends a power burst at him through Alex's eyes. The enemy, devastated, is hurled into the core of one of the binary suns. Superman, Superboy, and Alex are stunned to see the spectre of their enemy rising from the sun. Superman smashes into his foe's fiery body, scattering him: the remains fall back into the sun and the star begins to implode.

They bravely await the end and Superman wishes that Lois could have lived to see their triumph. At that, Alex produces Lois from a void-pocket in his body where she had been sent to wait. She tells her husband that she had been to a tranquil world. Alex cannot return them to Earth but he can take them all to this beautiful world. Superman, Lois, and Superboy opt for that choice. The foursome vanish seconds before the exploding sun would have reached them.

Back on Earth, Lyla is explaining facets of the Crisis to Pariah and Lady Quark. Wonder Woman was returned to the clay which Aphrodite and Athena had given life, then spread across Paradise Island.

Time then continued to reverse itself, as the Amazons were returned to their original homeland before they fled Man's World. Zeus brought the homeless Wonder Woman of Earth-2 and her husband Steve Trevor to Olympus, where they could live peacefully. The bodies of Robin of Earth-2, the Huntress, and Kole were never found. All those who died were mourned. In Keystone City, Jay Garrick determined that Kid Flash's illness was in remission, his body chemistry being changed by a blast from the Anti-Monitor. He could again move at super-speed, though only to a maximum of Mach-1. Wally donned Barry Allen's uniform, and announced, "From this day forth — the Flash lives again!"

The Great Disaster will not exist in the Earth's future, but a lost child will be found in Command D. adopted by General Horatio Tomorrow of the Planeteers, and named Thomas. Jonah Jex will be torn from his era to fight in the future, while the Guardians of the Universe must face the first division in their ranks. Thus, Lyla concludes her tale, and Lady Quark and Pariah ask her to help them explore their new homeworld. They leave with her, honoring the memory of their benefactor, the Monitor. And, in Arkham Asylum, the staff discuss a new patient who seems beyond help, straitjacketed in a rubber-lined room. Roger Hayden, formerly Psycho-Pirate, gibbers about Earths beyond numbers, the Anti-Monitor, and the memories, which only he had been allowed to keep.

NOTORIOUS DEATHS IN THIS ISSUE

Anti-Monitor

Dove

Green Arrow (Earth-2)

Huntress

Kole

Robin (Dick Grayson, Earth-2)

Sunburst

Bug-Eyed Bandit

Clayface II (Matt Hagen)

Lori Lemaris

Ten Eyed Man

REVIEW

The ending of Crisis is the only part of it that remains canon after it (as it happened on new earth). Although many things about it will not remain (no one will remember the multiverse, not even the ones that survived it). Same will apply to deaths like Huntress, who will be completely replaced post-crisis.

So, was it worth it? Absolutely. Wolfman’s idea of rebooting the universe every 10 years would have been a great idea, but sales will not always allow for it (this is the reason DC was never able to do a complete reboot, you don’t fix what isn’t broken, namely Batman, Legion of Super-Heroes and the Green Lantern Corps).

As for its legacy, this event is the father of all events. Cross-overs and team-ups have been plenty, not only at DC, since the Golden Age. And while there have been similar events in 1982 and 1984 over at Marvel, they barely had any impact (Spider-symbiote being the one thing to remember). Crisis was a whole different thing. But sadly, it happened at DC, that means that not all the opportunities will be taken seriously.

Crisis offered the chance of a blank slate, but instead, the relaunch was sloppy and as a result, the universe required a soft reboot less than 10 years later. Crisis tie-ins are a good demonstration of how slow DC was to react to what they were doing. They do not match the chapter of the month.

Another interesting example is Wally West, who was restored in the end, with a slower speed, and became the Flash. However, it would take more than a year for Wally to take on his own book. This coincided with Justice League International and the end of Legends. Wonder Woman suffered the same delay as well. There were no plans to what would happen afterwards, because DC wasn’t fully aware of what they just did. They were too busy closing down titles, and the reaction to restart everything was delayed, sometimes by more than 5 years. Fortunately, the man of steel would end the year with one of his most emblematic runs.

As for the story itself, the science makes little sense, but I am willing to forgive those flaws. The essence of the event was to revisit the DCU history, to streamline everything and to showcase every single character they had. It was supposed to launch in 1983, but it had to wait until the 50th anniversary (while a long research had to be done to figure out the full DCU history). This story accomplishes that. The tie-ins... not so much. But Crisis as a story works very well. Without tie-ins.

There is a lot of love poured into it as well, and you can tell. Those final sequences with Alex Luthor, Kal-L, Lois and Superboy-Prime are beautiful and sad at the same time (again, DC would shoot themselves in the foot by desecrating that ending in 2005, but that’s a story for another time).

You cannot imagine another penciler for this story either. George Perez is the god of team-ups. Since then, he had some replacements, most notoriously, Phil Jimenez, but in 1985, it was pretty much him. And the art is so beautiful, and so meaningful, Crisis on Infinite Earths became on of the greatest achievements in comic-book history.

Jerry Ordway had to step in after Giordano and DeCarlo, for reasons I do not know. He was the perfect choice for this event. His style adds some clarity to Perez style, where Tanghal wouldn’t have dared to modify too much. As a result, you get an interesting hybrid. Ordway’s realistic faces, with Perez crazy layouts and detailed backgrounds.

The art in general is something to admire over and over. That scene where the shadow demons break apart and darkness becomes sky... that’s Michael Bay High Octane shit. You are basically watching a disaster movie.

Some of the deaths in this story mean nothing. Losing Green Arrow from Earth-2 or Helena Wayne will not have an impact. But they can seriously affect some readers.

One thing I didn’t mention before, was that New Genesis was actually part of the Crisis, as Darkseid only cloaked Apokolips, but apart from Crisis #10, I haven’t seen anything happening over there in other books.

Now, which version should you buy? All of them.

I grew up reading the spanish adaptation, which was pretty much the original with translated text. Then I bought 1998′s slipcase, which was already re-colored. I really think this one was the best as the wrap-around cover has the full Alex Ross painting. 2015′s deluxe edition includes the History of the DCU, with a new cover by George Perez. Perhaps this one adds more value. There is also a very expensive edition coming at the end of the year that includes all the tie-ins, but as you may have read, not all tie-ins are good or worthy of reading with this saga.

Then I actually recommend the digital version, as this book is so beautiful, you don’t even want to touch it.

I give this story a score of 10

#alex ross #george perez #dc comics #comics #review #1986 #modern age #crisis on infinite earths #harbinger #anti-monitor #the monitor #superman #superboy-prime #the flash #kid flash #wally west

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phantomphangphucker · 5 years

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The Setting Of A Blue Green Sun - DannyMay Day 5: Sunset

A setting sun, or sunset, is a euphemism for death.

Summary: There were many different timelines for Daniel that ClockWork didn’t care for, but this one was one he needed to watch. And so he did, over and over again. Because the master of time spent so much time alone, and this timeline shows the catastrophic end result of being all alone.

Warning: angst, depression, loneliness, gore, blood, breaking bones, character death, hurt without comfort.

ClockWork sees all the paths life might and might not take, and this is one he feels particularly saddened by. The one where Daniel was alone and always would be. No one was there when he half-died, no one was there to accidentally see him transform, and no one was there to keep him grounded. Sure there was no evil future to be found, whether that was because he was disconnected or because there wasn’t any future at all. ClockWork would fist fight Dan himself over sitting by idle at this once possible reality for his charge.

ClockWork only watches it to remind him that he needs Daniel, more than Daniel needs him. To never ignore his friendship and mentorship to the halfa. So that this master of time will never be alone, because even he needs others company. And who better than a halfa who’s more of an embodiment of the sun and all the stars, than a single person. Grand friends for grander beings, though his Daniel was far too humble to call himself such. But things like them, in truth, needed something similar for a friend. Watching the screen only highlights this so, with how it makes it oh so clear that even this celestial child crumbles and falls, without a friendly face around.

Watching Daniel take hit after hit, limp in form and blank-faced. It’s almost as if no one’s even home, numb.

Watching all the papers label him as the strong and silent type, ClockWork knows it’s not strength; but rather that there’s no one to laugh at his jokes. So why bother telling them.

Just like how there’s no one to fuss over his wounds, so why fix them. How he rarely sees his family, so there was no one to lie to. How he spent so much more time as a ghost and seemed to consider himself nothing more, after all there was no one to remind him that he was human too. ClockWork can’t help but frown at the boys uncared for body, he didn’t have anyone to keep up appearances for. Clearly underweight, with bones jutting where they shouldn’t in clothing rarely washed and torn.

What’s worse is watching him actively push away any attempts to get near him, he doesn’t know that anyone could actually survive the collateral of being his friend or lover; so he doesn’t let anyone be either one.

Then there’s how it affects everyone else, The Red Huntress, so much more cruel and relentless. Having never known Daniels’ kindness or affection. This turned out so catastrophic for little Danielle, she was never saved. And Daniel didn’t even mourn, he just nodded, as if this was the only possible expected outcome for him, and left. He continued his ways with only a deepened frown to show of the loss.

The Fenton parents, though worried, feared pushing their son away even further; the fact that he’d flinch at their every touch or slightly raised voice didn’t help. He behaved like a paranoid animal knowing it was in a slaughterhouse, because to him his house was more of a death trap than a home. And while the skies were taking the place of home to him, his family grew strained. Jasmine, resentful and failing to get her brother to let her in, instead chose to help herself. Leaving for Yale as soon as it was possible for her, what solidified her decision was that it took Daniel three days to even text her. Because he hadn’t even noticed, not at home enough to pick up on the absence.

Then there was Vlad, who’s reaction ClockWork still struggled to understand. Where once he wanted Daniel and actively engaged with him, he now seemed put off and even disturbed by Daniel. Becoming even more aggressive in cloning rather than claiming, Daniel.

The negatives on the ghost zone where far too numeral. Without his wit and carefree nature, he never rubbed off well on other ghosts. In this time, none came to him for advice or friendly sparring. Only to threaten and harm, and they were much more eager to harm.

The halfas two friends where really the only ones to fair well. Though their friendship with Daniel became so thin it was near nonexistent, they were indeed safe and happy. Sometimes they missed their friend but they never faced any hardships. In a sense Daniel was right, anyone close to him would suffer.

With a sigh, ClockWork shakes his head sadly, even he knows that suffering isn’t something to be feared. Better to suffer and gain, than to never know it in the name of fleeting safety. And for every person spared from believed collateral damage, young Daniel was left to absorb the blow; alone.

And that’s exactly what he was doing right now, taking a hit from the ghost kings skeletons. Unlike in nearly every other timeline, he comes unaided. He’s got no suit and the ghosts see no reason to aid him, so he’s left to push through armies alone.

That’s one thing ClockWork will give this timelines Daniel, he’s a lot stronger in battle. He’s more skilled in his powers and physically more capable. But that’s what happens when there’s no one to help take the hits or play doctor. That’s what happens when you don’t have anything but free time to train, because there’s no one to keep you company; to distract you with trivial things.

ClockWork glances and smiles fondly at the chess board, the one that he’s played against his apprentice so many times on, ClockWork always felt lighter afterwards.

Distractions really are a life necessity, else you get obsessed with everything else. ClockWork can see the effect of that in Daniels’ heightened paranoia, in his intense mistrust, and in the blatantly excessive and sleep depriving patrolling. What started as a necessary duty became a compulsively unending routine. Having never been stalled by movie nights or friend drama.

Turning back to the screen, he watches the battered halfa stand to face the king. ClockWork understands the impressed expression Pariah barely hides, Daniel is always so much more powerful than he knows. And even ClockWork can clearly see the power blazing in him through the screen, as if every sun had collided in one body; with the sole purpose of bringing forth the brightest shining being imaginable.

But even still the child’s body twitched with exhaustion, limbs merely hung limp; not caring to put on the show of a fighting stance. It was clear he expected to get hurt, tossed around and thrashed, he just couldn’t bring himself to really care. He’d bare it like always and get up. ClockWork frowns, as he knows that won’t be the case.

He would cringe at the sight of his apprentice's leg getting snapped under the pressure of a column, if he hadn’t long since learned to perpetually school unintentional outward behaviours. Impressively though, as the fight goes on, he still finds himself in mild awe at such undeniable proof that Daniel was the stronger of the two. Even without any power-ups and after slogging through hordes, he beats down the king through sheer determination and might.

But his body is run ragged, and his mind has long since been in that state; as he wails his fist down on the, shocked but resigned, king. Ultimately destroying the king before collapsing to the ground himself, bleeding out his unique red green sunlight glowing blood; across the tiled flooring.

This is another show of just how much power is in such a tiny body, as ClockWork can plainly see the waves of ectoplasmic energy coming off of him, trying to latch on to any latent ectoplasm in the air, to keep its host alive. But unfortunately, this is Pariah’s keep. No ghosts linger here and even the zones energy avoids this place. Leaving nothing for the boy to cling to and feed off of.

ClockWork watches heavily as his young charge, his little apprentice; seems to understand the situation. Muttering into the tiles with a faint chuckle, “oh... well then. I guess... this is a fitting place to just die”. The young boy doesn’t even seem sad, nor happy or even surprised. Like everything else he just accepts it and takes the blow; completely alone.

And ClockWork can tell, from looking into young Daniel’s eyes through the screen. That the sun of light was setting inside him, in no uncertain terms, was this a battered hero’s sunset. The end of a protectors endlessly watching sunlight. As the little saviour, a brutalised blue green sun, finally fell from the skies to rest unseen forever more.

And the night air after his lights fall was nothing but cold, the cold of ice covering everything from a far too powerful and far too ravaged core of ice. Ice that had cracked and shattered too many times to count, that eventually couldn’t contain or support the brightest sun anymore; and had simply exploded outwards.

On all his watch throughs, ClockWork finds he can never not whisper-sing to the screen at this point. To the sight of the shredded hemorrhaging sun that never last long enough to ever met the master of time, partly hoping his soft words were heard:

“Please allow your mind to be pacified

Just rest and your pain will be blown away

Let your worries be placed aside

No one can hurt you now

But know all that you’ve accomplished

Let yourself take a bow

Please calm your heart

Just close your eyes, leave the battlefield behind

Let your heartache break apart

But grant you to know, you never had to fight your battles alone”

ClockWork switches off the screen as the sight of the partially dissolved corpse finally stills its leaking glow of blue green sunlight, though it still paints everything around it in a red and green Collide-a-scope of a half-life barely lived. Of a sun cast down when it should have risen to blaze, the strongest to ever be seen.

ClockWork turns to another image, the one of the most likely future. Not just likely but near certainly. One where he is needed as mentor no more, though he knows he’ll always play the role. As his now, not so small, halfa sits atop his throne. His laughter-filled blue green sunlight eyes looking out across ghosts and humans as well. As comforting blue green blazing sunlight of pure energy and power waves off him, to watch over the lands. Earth and zone alike, for he is both and he is not alone; and ClockWork swears he’ll never let him be.

And in that promise, so too will ClockWork himself never be alone. As his charge, a massive sun contained inside a tiny impossible body, had sworn the same thing. And he always kept his promises.

End.

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sanrionharbor-blog · 5 years

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Sansa and Tyrion’s Character Arcs (Part I: Tyrion)

Being a writer, I’ve been pouring through Shawn Coyne’s The Story Grid over the past two weeks. One of the points he makes is that every part of a story–from beat to arc–has the same 5 elements: inciting incident, complication, crisis, climax, resolution.

And being as obsessed as I am with Sansa and Tyrion of GOT in particular, I thought I’d use the hey-day of the series season finale episodes to indulge in some character metas.

We’re going to (mainly) focus on the inciting incident.

So, not only does GOT have an overarching inciting incident/complication/crisis/climax/resolution that it’s moving towards, but each season has them, each episode/chapter has them, each subplot has them, and each character has them.

According to Shawn Coyne, an inciting incident promises one thing: “…the ending.”

So let’s dive a little deeper and see what Sansa’s inciting incident and Tyrion’s inciting incident tells us about them. I’m writing separate posts since they’re both long–first up is Tyrion!

Tyrion

To start on a side note that will eventually get to the point:

I really wonder if show-Tyrion and book-Tyrion can come to the same conclusion.

Book-Tyrion is much more morally grey than show-Tyrion, for one. They make different decisions after the Purple Wedding (in the show Tyrion is notably celibate whereas book-Tyrion hits an all-time low and is not above sleeping with drugged-up, unresponsive prostitutes–though he manages to empathize with them, he still uses them to run from his own darkness).

Now, I’m equally invested in both versions of the character and believe they have the same arc/themes overall. So on one hand I can see them playing out beat-by-beat, just with different palettes, if you would, but only because of the power of the inciting incident:

So, an inciting incident does more than promise an ending–it sets the character on a path of no return. So, more than a character’s introduction, it’s when their story first goes down an irreversible path.

Furthermore, an inciting incident is called an incident for a reason: it’s not necessarily a decision made by a character, but something that happens to him (but more on that in a minute).

Tyrion’s Introduction

First we’ll note Tyrion’s introduction in the book:

“Jon found it hard to look away from [Jaime]. This is what a king should look like, he thought to himself as the man passed.

Then he saw the other one, waddling along half-hidden by his brother’s side. Tyrion Lannister, the youngest of Lord Twyin’s brood and by far the ugliest. All that the gods had given to Cersei and Jaime, they had denied Tyrion. He was a dwarf, half his brother’s height, struggling to keep pace on stunted legs….one green eye and one black one peered out from under a lanky fall of hair so blond it seemed white. Jon watched him with fascination.”

Later, still in the same chapter:

“The dwarf grinned down at [Jon]. ‘Is that animal a wolf?’

‘A direwolf,’ Jon said. ‘His name is Ghost….what are you doing up there? Why aren’t you at the feast ?’

‘Too hot, too noisy, and I’d drunk too much wine,’ the dwarf told him. ‘…might I have a closer look at your wolf?’

…he pushed himself off the ledge into empty air. Jon gasped, then watched with awe as Tyrion Lannister spun around in a tight ball, landed lightly on his hands, then vaulted backward.

Ghost backed away from him uncertainly.

The dwarf dusted himself off and laughed. ‘I believe I’ve frightened your wolf. My apologies.’”

They talk a little more, and it’s interesting to note that Tyrion isn’t threatened by Ghost, merely fascinated, and he correctly deduces that Ghost is more shy than harmful, despite Ghost baring his teeth. This could be foreshadowing that the Lannisters will have dominion over the Starks soon, but Tyrion was never a player in that. Despite his loyalties to his family, he was the one that reached out to Jon when he saw Jon was crying, he was the one who bonded with Jon at the wall and honored Jon’s request to take care of Bran, he was the one who took the time to design a saddle for Bran, and who later treated Sansa with dignity despite every cultural and social protocol having taught him to do the opposite.

No, I think this has more to do with Tyrion’s fascination with direwolves, and perhaps the Wolf, in general. I also believe it’s foreshadowing (not the deliberate kind, but the instinctual kind that most writers aren’t even aware of), to Tyrion’s possible later loyalty/ally status with the Stark’s. More on that when we get to his first POV.

Tyrion’s First POV Chapter

The very first POV that features Tyrion ends on this line (I know most of you have read it before):

“When he opened the door, the light from within threw his shadow clear across the yard, and for just a moment, Tyrion Lannister stood tall as a king.”

And then there is Tyrion’s first chapter written in his POV–where certain details stand out to me [all emphases mine]:

“Somewhere in the great stone maze of Winterfell, a wolf howled. The sound hung over the castle like a flag of mourning…something about the howling of a wolf took a man right out of his here and now and left him in a dark forest of the mind, running naked before the pack.”

That’s the opening of Tyrion’s first POV. No lion metaphors here. Instead, Tyrion briefly imagines being part of a wolf pack–is he running in front as a leader, naked and free and accepted, or because he’s being chased down, naked and hunted and vulnerable?

Regardless, the chapter ends here:

“‘My sweet brother,” [Jaime] said darkly, “there are times you give me cause to wonder whose side you are on,”

Tyrion’s mouth was full of bread and fish. He took a swallow of strong black beer to wash it all down, and grinned up wolfishly at Jaime. ‘Why, Jaime, my sweet brother,’ he said, ‘you wound me. You know how much I love my family.’”

For some reason, Tyrion is metaphorically identifying with wolves. These exchanges also tune us into the hint of whimsy and empathy in his character, which co-exists with his book-smart/world-weary outlook.

Still, neither of these moments include Tyrion’s inciting incident. No, Tyrion’s inciting incident is a direct result of ASOIAF’s inciting incident: the moment Catelyn Stark receives a letter from her sister Lysa Arryn about the death of Jon Arryn, Lord Paramount of the Vale and Hand to the King.

This is powerful stuff in itself, even if the death had been natural. But we’re about to be lead through a political spiderweb that’s being spun over a dark, fuzzy expanse; and we can only make out what that darkness is when the spiderweb isn’t so clearly in focus: Winter, and not just any Winter, but the Long Night.

This is all happening at once, and Tyrion is actually an early witness to the complementary foci of ASOIAF:

Myth: He visits the Wall with Jon Snow and, while he doesn’t encounter any wights, he does encounter several people who’re convinced about such things. He’s skeptical, but we learn over time that Tyrion is a closeted romantic. Sure, he’s reading up on the lives of Maesters and pouring through ledgers and history books half the time–but he’s also obsessed with true love and handsome knights and dragons.

Humanity: He’s a casualty of Jon Arryn’s murder and Catelyn Stark’s having been deceived (though Catelyn acts heroically based on what she believes to be the truth). He’s kidnapped by Lady Stark and forced to stand trial for two murders he did not commit. This is his inciting incident. It’s what gets Tywin to declare war on the Starks and what inadvertently puts Tyrion in the pathway of both Bronn and Shae. It leads him to his newfound confidence as a military strategist, even as a pseudo-knight, in subsequent battles–including the one that costs him his nose, and any illusion that his looks could be improved or his stature increased by acting like a knight. Acting like a knight (like Jaime, like the son his father wanted, like the heroes Tyrion grew up reading about) did not win him the approval of Tywin, the adoration of the people, the reality of knighthood, or the true affection of any lady. And we know how his story goes from here.

But none of it would have happened without Tyrion’s Inciting Incident. And he had no choice in the matter either. This was his point of no return.

So, what are the themes established here?

Themes from his introduction:

-Even though he’s compared unfavorably to his brother Jaime, who is described as “what kings should look like,” the POV ends with Tyrion standing “tall as a king.” So, in a word, kingliness.

-His intro through Jon’s eyes establishes him as larger than life, despite his size. He’s breezy, irreverent, whip-smart, aware of his status (as a Lannister and as a pariah), and even surprisingly acrobatic (or at the very least self-sufficient, and possessing the element of surprise). He’s also empathetic–he gives Jon advice on how to navigate the world and finds common place between them. Remember, he’s a noble and Jon is a bastard. He’s under no obligation to treat him kindly. It’s simply his character; one of Tyrion’s better qualities.

-In short, Tyrion fulfills a role as: outcast (dwarf) and elite (Lannister noble), adviser (or Hand), jester (“Generations of capering fools in motley…’), and, at least inwardly, a king. And all of these are mythical archetypes and play well into the fantasy tropes that GRRM is exploring, deconstructing, and reconstructing.

-I also highlighted the part about Tyrion’s one black eye and one green, and his hair so pale it was almost white. This has less bearing in the TV show, obviously, but many of these clues not only point out his physical otherness, but can symbolically point to:

Looking at the world from two perspectives

Divided loyalties (the green eyes of the Lannister’s, and that one dark eye–dark like the Stark’s?)

Or does it represent a divided lineage?

B/C, though I’m not sold on the theory, one wonders if the “Tyrion as the third head of the dragon” isn’t hinted through his white-blond hair? Yet another secret Targaryen?

Themes from his first POV chapter:

-Tyrion finds it easy to identify with the Wolf (and yes, with a capital ‘W,’ encompassing the Starks, the direwolves, the archetype). And throughout the story he easily empathizes with the Starks, despite the Shakespearean-level rift between his family and theirs.

-He loves his family. But he is also separate from his family.

-Tyrion’s strength (and weakness) will be his mind

Themes from his inciting incident:

-I see themes of justice/injustice, truth/deception, and acceptance/prejudice.

-In fact, Catelyn Stark seizes him with these words: “…I call upon you to seize him and help me return him to Winterfell to await the king’s justice.”

-To return to Winterfell.

-To await the king’s justice.

Tyrion: The Ending Is In The Beginning

So this essay has been largely book-focused. The biggest differences between book-Tyrion and show-Tyrion, in the first arc anyway, are simply Tyrion’s sex appeal. Let’s be honest. In the show, his introduction comes by way of brothel (and it’s also a way to introduce the show-only character, Roz), whereas in the books it comes by way of unfavorable comparison with his brother. Peter Dinklage is also very handsome, and I’m not complaining AT ALL about his casting (because I love him), and D&D had a limited range to pick from anyway, but Tyrion in the show is more attractive and that colors several scenes–especially the ones with Shae and Sansa.

But it doesn’t matter that much in the end. Because the point is that Tyrion’s arc isn’t about his overall attractiveness (but physicality, yes). Tyrion is still playing roles that are traditionally given to conventionally handsome characters, not just to outsiders or “monstrous” archetypes.

So the interesting part is that his looks play a tangential role, but not a main one. His physicality is always at play, but not so much his attractiveness. For example, both show and book Tywin hate that their son is a dwarf; the ugliness of book-Tyrion is just the T.P. at the bottom of Tywin’s ill-fitting shoe. Again, tangential. It changes the palettes of book and show Tyrion’s overall story visual, but not the actual shape of their story.

So regardless of the differences between the show and the book, Tyrion’s ending can still be found in the book A Game of Thrones’. And not only because that’s a universal law of storytelling (the inciting incident promises the ending) but it’s exactly what George R.R. Martin has confirmed.

So what can we infer about Tyrion’s ending from his beginning?

Here is where we find Tyrion at the end of season 1 of GOT and in his last POV in the first book of ASOIAF [all emphases mine]:

In the wake of Jaime’s kidnapping, Tywin has just told Tyrion he’s sending him to King’s Landing.

“It was the last thing Tyrion Lannister would ever have anticipated. He reached for his wine, and considered for a moment as he sipped. ‘And what am I to do there?’

‘Rule,’ his father said curtly.

Tyrion hooted with laughter. ‘My sweet sister might have a word or two to say about that!’

That part about Cersei seems more pertinent now that we’re heading into Season 8 of Game of Thrones and she’s a prominent villain. She’s at least a major obstacle in Tyrion’s current story line (and, in fact, always has been).

But more importantly is his father’s command to rule. Tyrion Lannister is groomed for rulership throughout his story, and this will probably be his destiny: whether that come in the capacity of being king or some other kind of leader. Perhaps there won’t even be an Iron Throne at the end of all of this, but Tyrion, worldly and well-traveled and ruthless and empathetic as he is, could be a spearhead for a new political system. Perhaps the Magna Carta of Westeros is coming?

Let’s hark back to Tyrion’s inciting incident. He was going to await the king’s justice. What if the king’s justice turns out to be Tyrion’s justice? And Tyrion, after being held accountable all his life for things he had not done wrong (though not being punished for the things he has done wrong–after all, he’s no saint), will find his justice by a king, someway-somehow. Either with Tyrion as said King, or by being Hand to just such a King, or even, tragically, by finally facing a justice he cannot escape–at the hands of a king. (Or Queen).

Tyrion’s arc will end when he is finally taken off trial. He thought he’d finally made it when he was free of his father’s (physical) shadow and when he found full acceptance (he thought) with Daenerys. But here’s where Tyrion’s theme of divided loyalties comes into play. He’s been struggling with finding where he stands throughout his storyline. Even when he was advising for Dany, he was still hoping that Cersei had the capacity for change. I think what he loved most about Cersei was her motherly instincts, her children (sans Joffrey). And he probably does feel guilt over Myrcella’s death. So Tyrion is seeking justice; he wants Cersei’s baby to live because he loves him/her instinctually, because it “atones” for the other children, because blood runs thicker than water, because he won’t be the reason the Lannister name is snuffed out.

“…To return to Winterfell and await the king’s justice.”

In Season 8, Tyrion does return to Winterfell. If there were a third trial (orchestrated perhaps by Daenerys or by Cersei), it would probably take place at King’s Landing or the Dragon Pit, but there’s still the fact that Tyrion’s story is inextricably linked with Winterfell.

He is particularly bound up in the stories of Bran, Sansa, and Jon. And in a series inspired by the War of the Roses, he could be the link that brings the Lannisters (Lancasters) and Starks (Yorks) to true peace. To finally establish justice and resolve the conflict that started this whole saga.

Tyrion has been denounced in two trials and made to suffer consequences to his agency and reputation, despite the deception at play. His agency and reputation still need restoring. He still has neither of these things with Daenerys.

He needs to emerge victorious from a third trial. Whether that third trial is literal or metaphorical. It’s very possible that Tyrion will finally stand trial for a murder he is guilty of: Cersei could put him on trial for the murder of Tywin Lannister, and Tyrion will have to face the spiritual shadow of his father and the reality of his guilt once and for all.

This third trial will establish Tyrion’s character; it will close his arc. Whether he dies physically or not, he will be spiritually enlightened/restored.

And I’d have to agree with Peter Dinklage–that would be a really beautiful end for Tyrion Lannister, however it plays out.

(Please share your thoughts as I am OBSESSED with Tyrion theories).

(Next Up: Sansa Stark).

#got spoilers #got meta #got theory #got speculation #character study #tyrion lannister #sansa stark #asoiaf #got s8 #long post #essay #character arc #writing #plot #structure #inciting incident #war of the roses #fantheory #analysis

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madamedeher · 5 years

Text

Inquisitor as a Companion

Because I have no self control.

This is technically a mash up of 2 tags, the details of the Inqy companion and the banter can be found here and here.

Happy reading this is my son and I love him.

p.s Obviously Rivaini people wouldn’t use maker or Andraste as an exclamation SO since their society is ran by women I thought... why not make mother that kind of word.

Inquisitor’s Name: Cassian Bijor

Race / Class / Specialisation: Elf, Mage, Shape-shifter

Gender Identity: Male

Varric’s Nickname for them: Shocker

Short bio: Cassian Bijor, and elf who is half Dalish with an Orliesian last name is no stranger to questioning looks. As the son of a Rivaini seeker, he is gifted in the magic arts and knowledge of the fade.

Childhood was average for the man (or, as average as it could be). A lingering jealousy caused by his twin sister being next in line to be seer caused a large rift between the two. His sister, Misha, was a rather naive and tender-hearted woman, and Cassian thought he should be the seer instead of her.

Nonetheless, Cassian followed Rivaini tradition and trained to become head guard of his seaside village. When news of the rift spread to Rivain, so did news of the Inquisition looking for those who might have more than average knowledge of the fade. Bored of his born-into living style, Cassian jumped at the opportunity to help the Inquisition stop this evil spread.

What would their companion card look like? Cassian would be deep water with only his nose and above visible. His black hair would be spread across the water like tendrils. While you see little of his face, his expression seems calm/serene. In the background it looks like the beginning of a lightning storm behind him.

Recruitment mission: After getting a certain amount of power, Leliana would approach the inquisitor about a friend of hers who has ample knowledge on the fade and spirits. The Inquisitor can accompany her to a tavern where Cassian would approach the two, hugging Leliana and introducing himself.

The recruitment dialogue would breakdown as follows:

Inquisitor I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Allow me to introduce myself: my name is Cassian Bijor, son of Seer Aniha of Apricce. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

---> Inquisitor Option 1: You’re the one Leliana was talking about.

The one and only. Has she talked of me much? Miss me that dearly, honey? [Leliana: Only for you, Cassie.] Come Inquisitor, sit, I imagine you want to hear why I asked for you.

---> IO2: Pleasure to meet you too, Cassian.

I appreciate the politeness. Come, sit, I imagine you want to hear why I asked for you.

---> IO3: Ah, when Leliana said she had a friend I shouldn’t have expected someone normal.

...Ha. Sit. Let me tell you why I asked for you.

---> (If Mage): Son of a seer? Isn’t a Seer a guardian mage in Rivain?

Mm, yes, sort of. I’d consider a Seer more of a leader such as a mayor than a strict guardian. Nonetheless, sit, I imagine you want to hear why I asked for you.

---+++---

When I heard of the Inquisition, I was instantly taken by the cause, as I’m sure many are. I have extensive knowledge on the fade and would like to formally extend that knowledge to you. I understand you already have am, “expert” on the matter, but tell me, do you know what makes a Seer?

---> IO1: Does it work like nobility in Ferelden where power is passed down?

Ah, well, yes that too, but that is not the main reason. A seer will allow herself to become possessed by a benevolent spirit when of age. Only then can she have the power and wisdom to protect her village.

---> IO2: Do I look like I know that, elf.

I suppose not. I’ll talk slowly for you. A seer will allow herself to become possessed by a benevolent spirit. With the power of the spirit, she can be a Seer.

---> IO3: Because they won a lottery picked out from a funny hat?

I suppose that would be more entertaining, but no. To be transparent, it’s actually quite a serious act. A seer will allow herself to become possessed by a benevolent spirit when of age. Only then can she have the power and wisdom to protect her village.

(If Solas is in the party, he’ll interject. “They let their seers become possessed by spirits, Inquisitor.”)

Neatly put, stranger. That is, in short, what happens.

---+++---

[Cassian Joins The Inquisition.] Sounds fun if anything. I’d like to have you on.

[Cassian Does Not Join The Inquisition.] You really think I’d let someone who allows possession in my Inquisition? No.

Where they would be in Skyhold / Haven:

Haven: Sitting in the tavern reading through a stack of books.

Skyhold: A table on the second floor of the tavern, reading a larger stack of books.

Personal quests:

Quest 1: Twin, Interrupted - Cassian gets a panicked note from his twin sister, Misha, who says she’s being held hostage by a group of cult-like templars who want to put her into a homemade circle. Cassian begs the Inquisitor to help him rescue his sister from the deranged group who holds her. After rescuing her she tells that she came to Fereldan looking for her brother. Their mother has started acting very strangely and she didn’t know what to do. Cassian leaves the inquisition until Skyhold. [Can’t initiate full romance unless this quest is complete and has to be done before leaving Skyhold]

Quest 2: Sheep’s Clothing, Wolf’s Call - Cassian returns to the Inquisition with his face scars and falls into a soldier’s arms. He’s taken to an infirmary where the Inquisitor tries to confront him about his absence, but he’s found to be in a coma. The Inquisitor can find a special plant through finding it on missions or a Leliana war table mission to give to Cassian and revive him. When given a poultice version of the plant, Cassian, after a bit of rest, reveals that his mother has been possessed by a demon. He tried taking care of it himself but he didn’t have it in him to kill his mother. Cassian instead held his now demon mother in a self made prison in a cave as to keep her from the village. Eventually he got too weak and had his sister keep her back while he went back the inquisition for help. Cassian tells the Inquisitor how he feels ashamed of his mother and is always criticized for his religion so he didn’t want to reveal his mother is one of the few Seer’s to succumb to temptation.

The Inquisitor can validate Cassian and help him deal with the situation.

There's a romance option here, where Inq can say he should never be ashamed of who he is and they personally quite like it. He kisses Inq and they’re now locked in his romance.

The Inquisitor can reject helping Cassian. Cassian will disappear until a certain amount of power reached and reports of a large bear is reported in the Hinterlands. If the Inquisitor goes to the Hinterlands to defeat the bear, on the bear’s body is a note written by Cassian saying he has nothing to live for. It’s heavily implied the bear the Inquisitor just killed is Cassian.

Quest 3: Death Comes In... - If helping Cassian he takes the Inquisitor and companions to the cave. His sister Misha and father Lemren are outside the cave, his sister casting a large shield at the mouth of the cave. Cassian dismisses his sister who is very physically tired and is helped by their father to rest. Lemren then explains to the group that the twins’ mother had started acting out of sorts a little after Cassian joined the inquisition. The group all advance into the cave (Lemren comes along, he’s a rogue with a bow and arrow). Aniha, possessed by a hunger demon, initiates a fight in her human form. When under a certain health point, Aniha will stop fighting and try to spark a deal with the group. The hunger demon from within says it will leave Aniha willingly if it can ravage the unsuspecting village she was the seer for in Rivain.

Option 1: If the deal is taken, the village is doomed for everyone in it to die. This also makes the Bijor family pariahs in Rivain and are ran out of the country. They stay in an alienage outside of Orlais instead of Rivain.

Option 2: If the deal isn’t taken, the hunger demon takes it’s true form and essentially becomes a boss battle. When defeated, it’s seen that the hunger demon targeted Lemren and Misha whom are mortally wounded. Lemren can be offered to become a warden but refuses. Aniha, Lemren, and Misha all die within this option, but the village in Rivain is saved and Cassian isn’t run out of his home country.

How to get their approval:

Recruit Cole [Greatly Approves]

Turning Cole human gets a Slightly Approves

Choosing the mages [Greatly Approves]

Allying with the mages earns Approves

Disband the Templars [Approves]

Help Vivienne with her main personal quest. [Slightly approves]

Side with mages in pretty much any instance

Have an open mind about the fade or magic in general

Inquire about Rivain or express an interest in going one day

How to get their disapproval:

Turn away Cole [Greatly Disapproves]

Choosing the Templars [Disapproves]

Allying earns Slightly Disapproves

Make the mages your soldiers instead of allies [Greatly Disapproves]

Leave Hawke behind in the fade [Disapproves]

Be mean to Sera or Cole

Are they romanceable? Yes, but getting to the romance is a kinda slowburn lmao. Can also be romanced by anyone. But there will be a cutscene that changes depending on race where he gives them a token of affection that relates to their culture.

Can you have sex with them? Yes, a bit before the final battle if you talk to him a scene will trigger

Are they open to polyamoury? Sort of. He’s technically open but extremely picky. The only person in Inquisition I can even kind of see that happening with is with Bull.

If they can be romanced and are not, will they begin a relationship / relationships with other character(s)? If so, who? Canonically he romances Bull, so sorry adoribull shippers Cassian will snatch him up.

Who are they friendly with? Leliana, Vivienne, Cole, Morrigan, Bull

Who do they dislike? Dorian, Solas, Cullen

Companion card changes:

Loyalty: After the 2nd personal quest, his card goes to him completely submerged with his hands up out the water. His black hair almost completely fills the water around him. When all of his personal quests are completed the card changes for a last time to him about ankle deep in the water, emptying a jug that seems to be filled with that water. His hair is shorter now and less wily, but completely covers his face.

Romance: Instead of being face deep in water, he’s now completely out of it. He also appears to be leaning over a figure and cradling them. The black tendril hair is still there and it seems to be wrapping itself around them. He’s wearing a slightly open golden robe. The storm from earlier is completely over them, but it seems like a ray of sun shines down on just them.

Side Missions: (eg: fetch / gather / kill quests) Probably random quests to find memorabilia of his home country. If you haven’t noticed he loves the place.

Opinions on mages / templars / how the world is going to shit? Like everyone he pretty much in panic mode. He doesn’t really understand what the mages go through but has clear sympathy for them. As someone who wasn’t raised by the chantry one iota he doesn’t understand the templars and the Andrastien religion, like, at all.

Something guaranteed to make them leave the party: Being mean to Cole is like the quickest way to stack disapproval, so.

Special Events:

Imprisoned at Redcliffe: How is your Inquisitor holding up in Redcliffe, being slowly infected with red lyrium over the course of a year? He’s barely lucid, probably. He can get enough thought collected to follow the inquisitor and throw some spells but he just wants to die.

At the Winter Palace: Does your Inquisitor enjoy the party, any special events with them at the Palace? He would have never experienced anything as grand and would fumble his way through the complicated manners.

In the Fade: Your Inquisitor’s reaction upon entering the Fade? Archdemon’s taunt, and Inquisitor’s response? Epitaph on their grave? The taunt would be his hidden regret yet jealousy towards his sister. He hates that he couldn’t be seer, but also feels guilty because he knows his sister didn’t want it either. He held resentment towards her for several years. Also his fear would take the shape of himself possessed. The tombstone was a little bit of a tough one. I think, in the end, it would say corruption.

Trespasser: What is your Inquisitor up to two years after Corypheus’ defeat? Any special events with them over the events of Trespasser? This all depends on the personal quests endings. Obviously if you deny helping him in quest 2, he dies. If his family survives, he moves to the alienage they’re in in Trespasser and ends up dying on a missionary mission, squalid and poor (he also breaks up with the Inquisitor like right at the end of Trespasser). If the village is saved, and not romanced, he joins the chargers and ends up with bull. If romanced, he and the Inquisitor do odd work in Rivain and live in a lil cottage.

Banter

Cole’s reflection on their thoughts: Confusion, guilt, longing, rage... Rage. Rage. Past lives, past actions, so much anger compartmentalized into a tender heart. He wonders what life would be life if he could be as soft as he once was. He wants to be that innocent, that pure, that untouched. A mother’s touch fades away. It’d been years since someone hugged him.

Damn the fade.

Comment(s) on Mages: “These ignorant souls. They have no idea what good they could do in the world, trapped in those towers.”

Comment(s) on Templars: “What is the point of this sect of guard? Rivain has existed for centuries without them, yet they act so scandalized when I tell them that fact.”

When looking for something: “Shall I cast a locating spell?”

When finding a campsite: “Ah, a place to rest our heads.”

When the Inquisitor Falls: “Attention to the inquisitor!”

When they are low on Health: “I’m falling back!”

When they see a Dragon:

[First time seeing a dragon with him in the party] “Sweet Mother… I’ve never seen a dragon before. They really are magnificent.”

“Poor creatures, trapped in their own powerful body. I wish we could domesticate them.”

When during their small side quest: ��I truly appreciate this, Inquisitor”

Default Saying:

Hostile/Cold/Neutral

“Yes, Inquisitor?”

“Inquisitor, may I help?”

“I have a moment.”

Warm/Friendly

“Hello you!”

“My friend, something you need?”

“Of course I have a moment.”

Romanced

“Hello, beautiful boy/girl.”

“Always glad to see you, mi vida.”

Travel Banter with Canon Companions of your choice:

[Varric] You mad at me, Shocker?

[Cassian] Beg pardon?

[Varric] You always look at me with this face that says, “I’ll bury you alive if you step too close.”

[Cassian] That’s just my face, Varric.

----

[Cassian] So, Blackwall, I saw you woodworking the other day. You seem quite talented.

[Blackwall] (Sputters on breath) You- you were watching me? When? Where?

[Cassian] (Sigh) Still scared of me, are you.

[Blackwall] ...I apologize.

[Cassian] Don’t bother. I still don’t know why Sera told you that scary story about my supposed ghost friends.

----

If Not Romanced

[The Iron Bull] Hng!

[Inquisitor] Something wrong, Bull?

[The Iron Bull] Cass just shocked me!

[Cassian] He pinched my bottom. But that didn’t sound like a noise of pain, did it.

[The Iron Bull] Ha, nah, it really wasn’t.

[Literally Everyone] (GROANS)

---

If Romanced

[Cassian] Ahem, please do take time and remember to be careful.

[Inquisitor] Hm? Have I hurt myself recently?

[Cassian] The fact that you can’t keep track of your injuries is enough evidence you need to be more cautious, Mi Vida.

Friendship?: “Ah, the faithful Inquisitor. It’s good to see you again, friend.”

Leaving the Inquisition: “I thought... I thought the inquisition was different. You were different. Mother... why did I leave Rivain. I apologize, inquisitor, but I can no longer accompany you in good faith. Goodbye.”

#inquisitor as a companion #ask tag #that i didnt get asked for ahdagsdh #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #au #cassian bijor

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nikolairas · 5 years

Text

self para: lucy.

characters: lucy rasmussen (pov), nikolai rasmussen, magnus rasmussen, ingrid rasmussen

word count: 2,432.

summary: the development of lucy rasmussen over time and the story of her husband’s disappearance. nikolai’s secret is revealed here.

tw: abuse, death, violence, blood

lucy met magnus when she was only fifteen. when lucy was fifteen, she was bright and bubbly, with wide eyes and large curls, bright pink lips with laughter always on the tip of her tongue. "he's the boy you're going to marry," her mother had said. "i don't know him," lucy said. "yes," her mother had said, "but the rasmussen name is powerful. and they need our money. you can help each other. "

lucy had always been an easygoing and bright girl, but by the time she turned eighteen, there was no fighting it. she was the youngest in her family and the only girl. this was how her parents saw that she could be useful. she didn't know magnus well, but he was handsome. she thought that maybe she could love him.

but lucy never learned to love magnus. it was six days after they returned from their honeymoon when he hit her for the first time. she'd been on the phone with an old boyfriend, one that still loved her and one she thought she might have loved too. magnus had ripped the phone out of her hands, smashing it on the floor, wires and buttons spanning out over the tile. "you will never disrespect me like this again," he'd said, "i am the man in your life now." he was six years older than her and much stronger. there was not much that could be done.

darkness filled her days as she put on a smile for every gala, every charity ball, every luncheon. the rasmussen bank account only grew – magnus has a mind for money, a keen eye for what would be a good investment, a good property. as lucy got better at predicting his moves, the beatings became less frequent. but in doing this, she was losing her light. she was losing everything that made her lucy. it was not until she gave birth to their son, nikolai, that she finally began to hope again. she understood her purpose, and it was to raise this boy to be gentle and good, despite his father's temper and anger. it was to protect him.

she devoted herself to this purpose, to teaching him piano and reading him stories every night. she fostered his imagination as best she could. all that lucy rasmussen wanted to was to raise a good, kind, and smart boy that would counteract all the evil and violence that his father put into the world. when magnus got angry, she was able to retreat into nikolai's room and read him a story. he would fall asleep with his head on her chest, curled up in her arms. she knew that she would move mountains and fight armies for her son, her boy, her light. she is supposed to be taking care of him, but most nights, nikolai is the one who takes care of her. when there is broken glass and black eyes, nikolai stays up late and tells his mother stories.

after ingrid is born, she joins them for story time every night, even if she is too little to understand. magnus is angered by their closeness and their traditions. after an outburst, it is decided – there will be no more stories.

it isn't until nikolai is twelve that lucy finally loses a battle she has been fighting since his birth. nikolai brings home bad grades from school and she stuffs them in her drawer, hoping to god that she can hide them. but when the teacher calls, magnus answers, and he lashes out at the boy for not living up to the set expectations. late at night, he lashes out at lucy. "how could you hide this from me?" he says, "this is my house. he is my son. you continue to fail him – if i don't teach him how the world works, he will never survive."

lucy begins to notice change in her boy after that. he acts out more at school, comes home with scrapes and bruises. he leaves home with fresh ones too. every day, he becomes harder and more closed off and lucy feels like she has failed him and herself. she misses her nikolai, the one who would stay up late to tell her stories and play the piano. one afternoon, she comes back from a luncheon and she can hear the echoes of clair de lune around the house. she peers into the piano room and sees nikolai playing, fingers fiercely flying over the keys. ingrid's laughter fills the room as she dances, spinning and jumping off of things.

lucy walks back to the den, sinks into a chair by the fireplace, and sobs.

routine continues. the men fight, they make up. magnus begs for forgiveness, nikolai doesn't respond. the two men fight in the kitchen, they fight in the living room. they break the coffee table, they break the lamp. they break lucy rasmussens heart, over and over again.

if nikolai has become magnus, then ingrid has become lucy. ingrid is girly and bright, full of laughter and wide-eyed smiles. boys love her, teachers are delighted by her. her future seems bright. she is clearly nikolai's world and he will do anything to protect her. lucy is proud of this – she has raised a boy who cares about his sister, who looks after his family. lucy fears the day that magnus might hurt ingrid, but he doesn't touch her until she is nineteen.

ingrid always had many admirers, but one night, one of these boys is caught in her room. it's 11:30pm. she should be in bed and it is certainly against magnus' rules for her to have a boy in her room. magnus barely has the door open before the boy is running out, clutching his khakis and fearing for his life. it is not the boy that magnus intends to punish. "how dare you disobey me? and bring a man into this home – " he pauses, "i never raised a daughter to be this disrespectful towards me, towards her family."

lucy watches, petrified, "magnus, don't –" she whispers.

"you didn't raise me at all," ingrid hisses, "you've never done anything for this family but hurt us, close us in, and trap us. you're not my father and i will never be your daughter."

the screaming brings nikolai rushing in from the other room, hair messy and shirt half-buttoned. he's red-faced and out of breath. he arrives just in time to see magnus reprimand ingrid for her insolence with this fist. she spins backward and falls against her bedside table and on to the carpet. she jumps up, but nikolai has already raced forward and is at magnus' throat.

"don't you fucking touch her," he says, "don't you ever fucking touch her." lucy's worst fears are realized when fists begin flying. nikolai hits first, swiping his father across the face. magnus hits back, pushing him against the window and punching him back, hard. the two hold nothing back as they throw each other around ingrid's room, into bedposts and shattering bedframes. ingrid screams, trying to step between the two, and in the crossfire, niko accidentally swipes her across the face. lucy pulls her daughter back, holding her close. "just stay out of it," lucy whispers, "it will all be over soon."

ingrid continues to shout, crying, but lucy stays calm. she steadies her breath and holds her daughter close as nikolai gains the upper hand, pinning his father to the floor. lucy watches as nikolai swings, over and over again. she can see in his eyes that he's lost, that he's really not the little boy she once knew. his shirt is bloodstained, his hair is disheveled, and in his face she can see the darkness and emptiness that she recognizes only in the face of one other man.

magnus has been beat long past breathing. nikolai stops, falling backward on his knees. "oh my god," he whispers, bringing his hands to his face. he leaves bloody fingerprints on his own cheeks. "what..." lucy lets go of ingrid and she rushes forward, checking her father's pulse. his face is beyond recognizable, bloody and disfigured. it is strange to see him laying like that – the man that once controlled her every move, commanded her every step. now he lay powerless and empty, a shell on the ground. she would be moved, but she looks at her children and knows that she has no time for that. she has to act fast.

"what have i done?" tears begin to stream down her son's face as he shakes, coughing. he starts to stand up but doesn't make it, vomiting the contents of his stomach all over the floor beside his father’s body. he collapses, shaking and crying. ingrid goes to him and he holds up his hand, "don't touch me – just...just call the police. call someone. maybe we can...maybe if we're fast enough...they can help..."

the stench is unbearable, blood, death, and vomit – but lucy doesn't register it. she doesn't even wrinkle her nose. lucy brushes her skirt off and finally speaks. "no," she says, "do not call the police. they will take you away forever, is that what you want? to leave me and your sister alone, spending every cent on a lawyer, rendering us penniless pariahs after we battle this scandal tooth and nail? and you, in jail – or worse, unable to see us ever again, your future ripped from you because of the things he did?"

lucy shakes her head, "no. it has always been the three of us and it will continue to be. we need each other now more than ever. ingrid, help your brother to the shower while i clean up this mess."

so, lucy does what she has to do. she calls in a few favors and replaces the carpet. she ensures that the body will be sunk deep into the hudson river, never to be found. she does what she has to in order to take care of her children, to ensure the future of their safety, because that's what she's always done. as she watches his body sink, deeper and deeper, she does not feel sadness or regret – she feels a sort of satisfaction. unfortunately, this will not come without a price. she knows that more arrangements will have to be made and more lies will have to be told in order to keep them all safe. but lucy also knows that she will and can do whatever it takes. because even this will be better than the life they endured with magnus lording over them.

so, she goes home. she finds ingrid sleeping on the couch in the den and makes a mental note to get all her things moved into the guest room tomorrow. ingrid sleeps restlessly, tossing and turning. lucy pulls the blanket up over her daughter and kisses her forhead. they have hard days ahead, lucy knows, but she is so proud of her and the woman she has become.

lucy walks into magnus' study, opening the safe. she immediately starts going through papers, sorting through accounts. her glasses rest on the bridge of her nose as she leafs through everything, knowing that this will be a long and sleepless night. she's only made it through a few files when nikolai walks in. he's in a daze, still in shock. his eyes seem glazed over. lucy drops the papers on the floor and runs toward him, wrapping her arms around him tightly. "i'm so sorry," she whispers, "i wish...i had done more. i wish i had said more when i could have, then this...oh, nikolai, i'm so sorry."

he shakes his head. "no, this is all my fault...you should turn me in – you could say you didn't know...that it was all me, i..."

"you know i can't do that," she says, "and i won't. i need you here with me, i always have. you know what the consequences would be."

nikolai pauses for a long time before he finally nods. "i'm scared," he whispers, "i swear, i don't know what happened to me. i started and i just couldn't stop myself, it was like i was blind – it felt like blacking out, and i looked down and he was just..." his eyes fill with tears, his lip quivering. "i couldn't stop myself. what if it happens again? what if i lose control and it's...it's you, or ingrid?" a tear rolls down his cheek and he steps back from his mother, shaking his head, "i can't do that. i can't be here, it's too dangerous. i'm too dangerous."

lucy steps forward towards her son. "no, it's not. we'll be okay. ingrid and i will look after you and you'll look after us. from now on, you're going to keep your cool. you're going to stay calm and stop getting into fights. and you're going to run this company." lucy walks back to grab one of the files and presses it into his hand. "you have to do that – you owe it to us now. we need you."

nikolai looks at his mother, eyes resolute. he looks down at the file, leafing through the pages in his hands. she can see his posture harden in front of her as he realizes what he must do. he won't lose control again because he can't. it's that simple. his mother needs him, his sister needs him. so, in spite of the tragedy, he will soldier on.

but every night, lucy can hear screaming from down the hall. she knows that he's having night terrors. her son has always had a monster inside of him and now it is free.

nikolai wakes up in the morning and puts on a suit and drinks black coffee at the kitchen counter. sometimes, lucy walks into the kitchen and her heart races. for a moment, sometimes she can swear it's him, pulled up from the bottom of the hudson river. then, nikolai turns around, brightens his eyes and smiles at her and she can finally breathe a sigh of relief.

with magnus gone, she hopes to god that the worst of it is over. she hopes to god.

the girl that lucy rasmussen once was when she was fifteen is long gone. her hair is straight and thin, eyes dark and tired. she walks with purpose and intent, heels clicking down every hallway with a haunting rhythm. dark red lips with a snide remark always on the tip of her tongue. she will do what she has to in order to keep her children safe. just as she has always done.

#self para #self para: lucy #yikes i struggled so hard with this #maybe do /mobile for easier reading?

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inhumansforever · 6 years

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Inhuman of The Day

July 18th - Luna

Luna Maximoff-Amaquelin is the daughter of Crystal of The Inhuman Royal Family and the Mutant speedster known as Quicksilver. Luna was the first child born on Attilan following the city’s relocation to the Blue Area of the Moon and was named after Attilan’s new home. She is additionally the first recorded offspring of an Inhuman/Mutant pairing.

Despite her parents’ lineage, Luna was born a seemingly human infant with no mutant powers nor pre-established Inhuman abilities. Luna’s mother, Crystal, was not concerned with her daughter being born a human. Her father, however, was incensed. Quicksilver saw himself as the son and heir to Magneto, the long-heralded figurehead of Mutant supremacy. Quicksilver looked down on regular ‘flatscan’ humans as inferior to Mutants and he was outraged and embarrassed that his own daughter, the granddaughter of Magneto, should be born a human.

So intense was Quicksilver’s consternation over this matter that he attempted to take his infant daughter to the chamber of Terrigen Mists so to have her mutated by way of Terrigenesis. He was stopped by Lockjaw along with The Thing of The Fantastic Four. The Thing dissuaded Quicksilver from exposing his daughter to the mists. The Thing had spent much of his life alienated from society due to his monstrous appearance. Terrigensis could render young Luna into a similar form and The Thing convinced Quicksilver not to take this risk and threaten his daughter’s chances of a normal, happy childhood.

Her humanity notwithstanding, Quicksilver soon came to love his daughter as much as her mother did. Unfortunately, being the human granddaughter of Magneto put her at considerable risk. Exodus, the powerful Mutant leader of the Acolytes (a Mutant supremacy sect), set out to abduct Luna as a means of consolidating power. After realizing that Luna was human, Exodus declared her an abomination and attempted to kill her. Exodus was defeated and Luna was saved by her parents along with the assistance of The Avengers and The X-Men.

Luna’s parents eventually separated and they worked out a joint custody arrangement whereby Luna would spend half her time with her mother on Attilan, and the other half with her father, residing on Mount Wundagore (home of the High Evolutionary). It was a happy childhood and Luna made many friends, both among the Inhumans of Attilan as well as the evolved animal beings of Wundagore.

Luna had two nannies while living on Attilan. First there was Maya whose powers enabled her to project pockets of swirling air. Black Bolt had chosen Maya to look after Luna because her powers allowed her to protect Luna from the polluted air of earth. Maya was later replaced by Marilla, who had been the nanny to Luna’s mother and aunt. Tragically, Marilla was killed by Iron Man whilst under the mental control of Kang the Conquerer.

Some time later, Luna’s father lost his mutant powers in the wake of M-Day (where roughly 90% of the Earth’s Mutant population were mystically de-powered). Desperate to regain these powers, Quicksilver snuck into Attilan and exposed himself to the Terrigen Mists. Terrigenesis imbued Quicksilver with the ability to travel short distances through time. He then stole a large cache of the crystals and coerced his daughter to return with him to New York.

Hidden away in an apartment in Manhattan, Quicksilver outfitted a device that allowed one to breath in the Terrigen Mists through a retrofitted oxygen tank. He used this device to have Luna exposed to the mists. Terrigenesis endowed Luna with the ability to see and read the emotional auras of others. Hoping to further augment his daughter’s powers, Quicksilver had Luna breath in the mists successive times. This indeed acted to enhance Luna’s abilities, making her a functional empath, able to read and manipulate the emotions of others; yet it additionally left her effectively addicted to the Terrigen Mists and being denied the mists caused Luna to experience severe withdrawal pains.

Unsure how to handle the addiction he had unwittingly subjected his daughter to, Quicksilver took Luna back to Attilan and left her in the care of her mother, Crystal. Inhuman physicians were able to cure Luna of the addiction, although she maintained some degree of her heightened powers. Karnak helped to train Luna to utilize her abilities to read auras as an asset to her skills as a combatant.

Being able to read and understand the emotions of others seemed to accelerate Luna’s psychological maturation. She became a much more serious and solemn child, very compassionate and kind, but no longer as happy and carefree as she once was. It was as if the exposure to all of the different emotions of others caused her to know and understand things well ahead of other children her age; and this enhanced knowledge has essentially robed her of the joyful innocence of childhood.

Maximus later tricked Luna into using her newfound powers to undo the mental shackles that suppressed his own manipulative powers. Freed from these bonds, Maximus staged yet another coup in an effort to dethrone his brother, Black Bolt, and take the crown for himself. Angry and remorseful over being tricked in such a way, Luna attempted to make amends by using her abilities to help the king’s son, Ahura, gain grater control of his mental abilities and thus cure him of his alleged madness.

Following his theft of the Terrigen Crystals, Luna’s father was dubbed a traitor of the highest order. After the events of the Skrulls’ near-successful invasion of Earth, Quicksilver returned to Attilan and explained to the Royal Family that he was innocent. He stated that the being who stole the crystals was actually a Super Skrull imposter who had taken on the guise of Quicksilver as part of a plot to cripple the Inhumans capacities for Terrigenesis. Many Inhumans had been similarly replaced with Skrull imposters, including Black Bolt himself, and Crystal and the others believed Quicksilver’s claim. With her abilities to read emotional auras, however, Luna was able to tell that her father was lying. Luna whispered to her father that she knew the truth, that he had never been replaced with a Skrull imposter. She added that she would keep her father’s secret, but that it would forever cost him the respect of his daughter.

Quicksilver later admitted his false claims and recanted this tale of being replaced by a Skrull. Although this made Quicksilver a pariah once again on Attilan, it won him back the love and respect of his daughter.

Luna was a student for a short while at The Future Foundation. While with The FF, Luna made a dear friend in Adolf The Impossible Boy who shared in her love of Shojo Anime. Luna assisted The Future Foundation in a battle against Doctor Doom, piloting a Thing-suit android via remote control alongside Adolf and the other FF students.

Some time thereafter, Luna decided to spend time with her father in his duties with the latest iteration of X-Factor. She had visited her dad without her mother’s consent and, at first, Crystal was worried that Quicksilver had once again abducted their daughter. Gorgon was sent to take care of Quicksilver and return Luna to Attilan. This resulted in a short battle between Gorgon and X-Factor which ended when Crystal arrived and Luna explained that she had come to see her father of her own volition.

Luna was enrolled in the prestigious Braddock Academy of the United Kingdom, a boarding school for students with extraordinary gifts and abilities. Her parents had believed that such a school located in England might result in fewer threats to safety as so frequently bedevil similar institutions, such as The Xavier School, The Future Foundation and The Avengers Academy. Yet it turned out that The Braddock Academy was no different and the students and faculty had to contend with all manner of threats and subsequent perilous adventures.

Luna did not care for the academy, she dropped out and had Lockjaw take her aboard the RIV where she was just in time to help set up a surprise birthday party for her mom. Luna remained on The RIV until its destruction during the initial salvos of the Inhumans/X-Men War.

Luna was later seen living on New Attilan following the war. Her mother, Crystal had decided to venture off into space with the other Royals in search of a new source of Terrigen to secure the future of their people and way of life. Luna was left in the care of Lockjaw and told to seek out her Uncle Karnak if ever she needed assistance (a terrible idea).

Fortunately, Lockjaw was able to keep Luna safe and prevented her being taken into custody when New Attilan fell at the beginning of the Secret Empire ordeal. Luna was most recently seen back in her mother’s care on the new Inhuman city of New Arctillan on the dark side of the moon. She has also made a brief appearance in the Quicksilver miniseries.

What the future holds for young Luna remains to be seen.

#Inhumans #Inhuman of The Day #Luna #Crystal #Quicksilver

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poorquentyn · 6 years

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By the end of ASOIAF Stannis will be a two-time kinslayer. I really can't see how someone who committed sacrilege twice not only goes unpunished by the metaphysical powers that be and survives, but also gets rewarded by becoming Lord Commander, while House Frey and House Bolton get completely obliterated for there crimes. And I also can't see the appeal of this idea.

“By the end of the First Blackfyre Rebellion, Bloodraven will be a three-time kinslayer.* I really can’t see how someone who committed sacrilege three times not only goes unpunished by the metaphysical powers that be and survives, but also gets rewarded by becoming Lord Commander…” And yet.

(image by Mike Hallstein)

As to the appeal to extending that distinction to Stannis as well rather than confining him to the abyss like the architects of the Red Wedding, it’s because this…

“If I must sacrifice one child to the flames to save a million from the dark…Sacrifice…is never easy, Davos. Or it is no true sacrifice.”

…is not the same as this:

In the midst of slaughter, the Lord of the Crossing sat on his carved oaken throne, watching greedily.

Whatever the gods might think, they sure aren’t written the same way. While there are ample and deliberate reasons to dislike Stannis, not want him to succeed in his campaign, and be very very wary of Melisandre’s prophecies about him, to equate him with the Freys and the Boltons as a moral pariah to be cast out misunderstands what the author is going for with his characterization. That’s not a pretentious projection on my part, those are GRRM’s words: Stannis is “in spite of everything a righteous man” because he understands who the true enemy is, and Mel is the most misunderstood character in the story. The overall context of the king’s arc, his backstory, his platform, his relationships with Davos and Jon, “then we will make new lords” and “when the cold winds rise, we shall live or die together,” is what makes this something more than purely a highway to hell, for both Stannis and Mel. There are motivations and moments that are not just positive, but framed by the narrative as a whole as absolutely vital to the survival of the human race. Which you are not getting from Lord Walder, nor the Bastard of Bolton.

As for the specific appeal of Stannis taking the black and becoming Lord Commander, it’s because that’s the job he was born to do.

They found Stannis Baratheon standing alone at the edge of the Wall, brooding over the field where he had won his battle, and the great green forest beyond. He was dressed in the same black breeches, tunic, and boots that a brother of the Night’s Watch might wear. Only his cloak set him apart; a heavy golden cloak trimmed in black fur, and pinned with a brooch in the shape of a flaming heart.

At every level, this is really where he should be: the cold, the gray skies, the black clothing, the waiting, the watching, the celibacy, the sense of a constant siege, his military background (including naval), his refusal to give a shit about comfortable accommodations or nice food or material wealth in general, his intense desire that everyone just leave him alone so he can look out a window and be sad…

Honestly, much as I think Stannis is well ahead of his competitors at the king-ing business, he’d be much more suited to be the 1000th Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch. Doesn’t mean it’s going to happen, but that’s the appeal.

*including his romantic Reach-fueled usurper brother, no less. The brother he loved? "I did love him, Davos. I know that now.”

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nightmareonfilmstreet · 6 years

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[Recap] HBO’s SHARP OBJECTS Episode Two: Dirt

Sunday night’s airing of Dirt, the second episode of HBO’s tantalizing new miniseries Sharp Objects showed viewers that not only is there a lot to be unearthed in Wind Gap, but that all of its inhabitants, including our heroine Camille, have some dark secrets buried deep within themselves.

Sharp Objects Recap: Episode 2

If you have not yet watched Episode 1, Vanish, or Episode 2, Dirt, I suggest you hightail it back to the previous page as this is obviously going to include spoilers!

While Vanish fulfilled its purpose by laying down the important groundwork answering our main who, what, and where of the series’ plot line, Dirt really sets in the why intrigue.

Dirt introduces us to new characters, obvious potential murder suspects, and ups the ante on existing characters’ troubling idiosyncrasies. Like any good mystery, the more subjects exposed to the audience with as little exposition as possible, forces us unto to slip into Camille’s abused skin and hunt for the murderer along with her. Although this episode seems to move a little slower than Vanish, we have to keep in mind that every scene, every flashback, every character interaction, and every flash of a seemingly random word serves a purpose to this story’s ending.

“Dirt introduces us to new characters, obvious potential murder suspects, and ups the ante on existing characters’ troubling idiosyncrasies.”

Now that you’re familiar with the peculiarity of words and what they mean to not only Camille, but to the message of the story, pay attention to each one as they’re carefully selected by Gillian Flynn herself as she shared in her latest interview with Vanity Fair. Flynn details the influence words have on Camille’s psyche, emotional levels, and her relationships with those around her. Like a slight poke to the hip, the words we see flash so suddenly in the strangest of places can have the most literal of meanings, but most are more than skin deep.

Communication between Camille and her father-figure editor Frank Curry strengthens. Him being her only toe dipped in her Chicago reality while her standing relationship with her mother is slowly beginning to unravel down the Wind Gap rabbit hole. With the second missing girl, Natalie Keene, now found dead and propped up like a doll missing all of her teeth due to some force and a good pair of sharp-edged pliers, Curry urges Camille to push her reporting forward, to get the details – a perfect line for a series’ second episode. Here is where our big red content train leaves the station. The foundation is poured, Natalie is found, and the moving parts are now in motion.

Unlike the novel, viewers are able to watch relationships among the secondary characters expand. Whether it be a pissing match between Chief Vickery and Detective Willis, a drunken Jackie O’Neill spewing useful nonsense to Camille, or the backhanded comments courtesy of Wind Gap’s less sensitive citizens like John Keene’s attention hungry girlfriend, Meredith.

A majority of Dirt focuses on the town’s adults and Camille, (much to her mother’s resistance) while attending Natalie’s funeral. Adora persists in fear of embarrassment due to her daughter’s proclivity toward reporting horrible, wicked things that unfortunately exist in the real world. The entire event is emotionally charging as we see Natalie’s mother gives a tearful memorial and her older brother John, so different from Natalie, torn apart over her death. Natalie is described as a “spitfire”, a “tomboy”, and a girl who loved to “explore”, having a lot to say when she believed in something. Sound familiar? It all resurrects harsh memories of Camille’s younger sister Marian’s untimely death and the neglect she received from her sterile mother once the ‘favorite’ passed away.

Following the service, the mourners gather at the Keene home for what could easily be mistaken for a neighborhood pot-luck. Here we meet Camille’s simple, shallow classmates like Katie Lacey, we get a deeper look into how much of an outcast Natalie truly was. We exploring her bedroom and belongings with Camille, and watch as community gossip begins the finger-pointing at who might have a possible motive to kill two young innocent girls. Natalie’s father, similarly to Ann’s has an alibi, yet comes off a little cold and defensive especially when Camille questions John’s whereabouts at the time of her disappearance.

Being the natural investigator she is, Camille turns her attention to Wind Gap’s youth for answers. She finds a compelling and eerie tale from a local boy, James Capisi, clearly born of a family of Have Nots in a town full of Haves. He is the last to see Natalie alive in the broad afternoon daylight in the park and when questioned by police he claims she was taken by a ‘woman in white’. Camille conjures up the image of a witchy woman in white silently beckoning the girl to follow her into the forest in a scene so out-of-place, it sent chills down my spine. We learn it is a bit of town folklore not to be taken seriously as James is a known storyteller spinning innocent lies to make up for his poor family life suffering at his mother’s debilitating illness. His penchant for pretend is written off quickly by a clueless, but desperate Vickery who is certain of only one thing – a man is responsible for the murders. While this situation rises and is quickly suffocated, Willis decides to test just how hard it would be to plug a tooth from a deceased pig’s head using domestic pliers.

“Camille conjures up the image of a witchy woman in white silently beckoning the girl to follow her into the forest..”

In Dirt, Camille’s struggle with self harm escalates as she toys with a sewing kit needle and temptation of the highest pressure. We can feel her internal battle being faced with bad memories, ‘friendly’ faces, and the emotional reminders of her own existence in Wind Gap. After coming to a semi you-show-me-yours-and-I’ll-show-you-mine understanding with Willis, she returns to her mother’s home to find an indifferent Alan, childlike Amma, and borderline neurotic Adora playing house, while building a replica one, in the sun room.

Amma, fashioned like an inappropriate American Girl doll throws a tantrum in the manner of a four-year old that Adora claims to be due to Ann and Natalie’s deaths. Camille and Adora begin to get into it, with Adora cradling and fawning over Amma like an infant while telling Camille she wished their relationship could be better, but it just is not. It’s a pretty harrowing scene bouncing dependability and emotional stability off of the women in the room like an out of control racquetball. Amma comments wearily that Camille “can be good”, she “wants to be good” while relishing in her mother’s attention. Camille, though concerned and alarmed by this behavior, turns her back to it by retreating to the solace of her sepia bedroom armed with a sewing needle against a smooth patch of skin below her navel.

No matter what she can mask from Curry or what Amma whimpers into Adora’s arms, things for Camille and Wind Gap are not good, they are far from it.

Analysis

Hopefully you’ve never had to experience a funeral or memorial for a well-known local who died a tragic death in a small town like Wind Gap. But if you have the nauseous musings of false modesty, distasteful gatherings, attention seeking strangers, and hushed judgments, they all may be rushing back to you upon viewing Dirt.

Thw second episode not only digs deep into Sharp Objects‘ characters, but it also sets the scene for a town that, for all intents and purposes, is a character within itself. The whodunnit mystery is more alive than ever and the list of suspects lengthens with each new scene. Who is to blame? The sad James Dean brother of Natalie? The eccentric drunk Jackie? One of the defensive, odd fathers? Alma and her rollerskating posse? The police chief in denial? The untrustworthy pariah, James Capisi? A supernatural ‘woman in white’? One of the Crellins? Have we even met the murderer yet? All is yet to be determined, but that would never keep the townsfolk from talking. Nothing ever does.

I want to save some insight into what living in a town that slightly resembles Wind Gap is like while being the ‘outcast’ myself. There is so much more to come from Sharp Objects that I can relate to and I’m sure so many viewers can as well. Of course, none of the social pressures I experience reach the intensity Flynn describes in Sharp Objects, but I do live in a small southern town and, from experience, it is easy to identify with Camille Preaker. Being a curvy, “edgy”, northern artsy lover of all things dark and spooky sometimes draws a fine line in the sand between me and the wholesome, fair, athletic, Christian girls and women I find myself surrounded by. Over time I have learned the ways of southern men and women, of judgments that can be passed by those less open-minded, and the hypocrisies many remain ignorant to all while ultimately loving and valuing myself.

When Camille tells Willis that when people in town say “Bless your heart” they really mean “F**k you” that is completely, albeit unspoken, truth. That common phrase can have a range of meanings from “poor thing” to “you are a legitimate moron and this is the only way I can say it to your face” and it comes in a variety of sympathetic tones and smiling expressions. Southern etiquette it sadly a psychosocial topic less explored.

Camille suffers that same atmosphere and in Dirt that juxtaposition and the creeping submergence Wind Gap possesses slowly comes to life. We are now fully aware that our leading lady is flawed and real just like me and you. Flynn and the show’s writers have created a modern world stuck in time where people, women especially, are expected to behave a certain way when others are looking. It maintains the ongoing theme that no matter how good we want to be, we’re always going to be a little bad no matter how many eyes are on us. Just because someone may be different or considered an outcast, like Camille, Ann and Natalie, the Capisi’s, and even John Keene, that does not make them any less valuable or important as an individual, a notion places like Wind Gap seem to keep buried. Camille makes mistakes, she relapses, she shuts off one minute and submits to her feelings the next and because of that we are just as vulnerable in this haunting ride through Wind Gap with her.

Why is all of this important?

At some point in most, if not all, of our lives we feel misplaced or different from everyone around us and the effects of that stigma can vary. If we look close at these nuanced characters it is easy to see who belongs, who doesn’t, and who pretends to be. Sharp Objects is just beginning to set up a very interesting, relevant angle within this seemingly typical story of murder in a small town here in episode two – however, we’re not going to delve into that topic just yet.

We are left with our anti-heroine still believing the biggest threat that lies in Wind Gap is a faceless serial child murderer. She can do her best to endure her family’s oddities and should be able to repress her past traumas before they become more than silent thoughts so long as she remains good.

Oh, bless her heart.

We’ll see if she can put that sewing kit to deliberate use before things unravel beyond control next Sunday with Sharp Object’s third episode, Fix – on HBO.

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kuriquinn · 7 years

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The Last To Know [2/5]

Blanket Fic Disclaimer

Beta Reader: None right now. Check back later.

Warning: Some language

AN: Also, added a big chunk to the end of last chapter, so do go back and read :)

First Chapter

Sakura takes her time headed to the Hokage’s office, going over what she intends to say once she’s standing before her former teacher and teammate. She plans to ask about in a mature manner, to learn the whole story from them as well—Kakashi, being Hokage, likely has access to any records concerning the incident. He can clarify certain points she’s having trouble with, and if Naruto is around he can…

Naruto can…

Sakura swallows, a stabbing pain in her throat, her heart beating a rapid rhythm against her neck, a rushing in her ears as a horrible truth looms over her. It pales in comparison to what Sasuke told her about his brother and his family’s deaths, and yet it’s making her lungs constrict and her stomach rebel once again.

She is angry and helpless and doesn’t know how to help Sasuke or who to be mad at. She needs to do something, and it’s all in the past and can’t be fixed both there’s something…something that she can deal with right now, something that she thought was dealt with long ago.

But Sasuke’s confession has revealed to her that it wasn’t.

No, she tells herself firmly. Breathe. Keep emotions in check. I’m not a little girl anymore, I’m a shinobi.

As she walks into the building, she remains calm and composed, perhaps not as prone to smiling at the many clerks there as she usually is, but not the slowly unravelling ball of emotions she is right now. Her presence is common enough here that no one expects her to make an appointment, and she walks into Kakashi’s office without even having to knock at the door.

Everything is so far going according to plan.

Until she looks around the room and sees Kakashi going over mission briefs with Naruto, who is complaining loudly, the way he always did. And for them, today is no different from any other day; they are coping and living with the knowledge Sasuke has imparted to her without another thought.

And that’s when her plans go out the window.

Literally.

It happens too fast for her to be entirely aware of it.

One minute she is closing the door behind her, and the next her fist is colliding with Kakashi’s chest.

She curbed her strength – mostly – so he shouldn’t have any damage that a competent healer couldn’t fix, but it’s to fast for him to get a substitution to take the full brunt of her blow. He and his chair go flying through the windows and wall behind him, throwing up a huge plume of dust.

“What the hell, Sakura?!” Naruto cries, grabbing hold of her from behind. The air around him crackles, like he isn’t sure whether he should be entering his Tailed Beast Chakra Mode.

She shrugs him off with ease.

“Three years,” she replies in a cold, furious voice.

“…Huh?”

“Three years, you’ve been lying to me.”

“What are you talking about?!”

“Uchiha,” she bites out through clenched teeth. “Itachi Uchiha.”

Naruto doesn’t understand right away, but as the seconds of silence tick by, he begins to pale with realisation. “Sakura—we couldn’t—”

“Don’t.”

“The fewer people who knew—”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” she growls.

“Sakura.” Kakashi has popped back into existence beside them, looking a little bruised, and eyes more sombre than she’s seen in a while. He waves a dismissive hand at several ANBU that are peeking inside until the three of them are standing alone. Distantly it occurs to her that technically she may have committed treason for assaulting the Hokage, but somehow, she can’t seem to care. “This was to protect the peace of the village.”

“To protect murderers,” she spits.

“If you think about it, we didn’t lie to you,” Naruto begins, “we just didn’t—”

“If you say you just didn’t tell me and so that’s technically not a lie, I will pull out your ribcage and wear it as a hat,” she informs him flatly.

He makes a sound like a squeak, while Kakashi sighs. “The omission was necessary, especially so soon after the war.”

“Maybe if this was a few months after the war that I was finding out, I’d believe that,” Sakura says, still deadly quiet and trembling. “But it’s been years, Kakashi.”

“This wasn’t a piece of gossip, Sakura, it involved the security and stability of Konoha.”

“Did you expect that I was going to tell someone?” she snarls. “Me? I’m the last person who would reveal anything that could harm Sasuke or Konoha in any way!”

“Sakura—“

“I am the only student you ever trained that had the necessary skills and discretion to achieve jōnin rank,” she goes on, drowning him out. “Apprentice to the Fifth Hokage which, I’m sure you of all people know, requires a certain amount of discretion. Head of Konoha’s hospital. Personnel and patient files are all rather confidential, wouldn’t you say?”

“Sak—”

“Hell, long before any of that, I was kidnapped and beaten for information and I didn’t give it up because I would rather die first!” she bites out. “And you’re argument is that you thought I was too much of a security risk to tell me that the village—”

“We never said that!” Naruto protests loudly.

“YOU LET ME BELIEVE A LIE FOR THREE YEARS!” Sakura’s voice cracks painfully here, and she swallows, having difficulty breathing for a moment. Tears threaten to fall, but she fights them back, because today of all days will not be the day that she cries. Because she is Sakura Fucking Haruno, and the twelve-year-old weepy child she used to be has been nothing but a memory for years now. “You let me think Sasuke was…”

“Sakura…”

“He thought I knew already,” she whispers, and watches them both freeze. “He thought you two would have told me. You know why he might have thought that?” Naruto’s expression is aggrieved, Kakashi’s resigned. They know what she’s about to say. “Because you’re my friends. Before we are teammates or compatriots or students and teacher…we’re friends.” She inhales shakily. “And he thought you would have told me the truth. Never even occurred to him that you wouldn’t. That I wouldn’t have all the same information that you both did. Because we were friends.”

“We are!” Naruto protests.

“Are we?”

“We were trying to protection.”

“I don’t need your fucking protection!” Sakura shouts, managing to keep her volume down this time, but only just. “I am not that silly twelve year old girl anymore! I have watched men bleed to death in front of my eyes and held beating hearts in my fingers trying to fix them! I am a hero to villages that don’t even have names, I am the reason half of the people in this village aren’t dead or orphaned! I have birthed babies and killed assassins and walked into battle to fight by your side, so don’t you dare try to tell me you still think I need to be protected!”

“Of course we don’t—”

“I tried to kill the man I am in love with because I thought he had to be stopped for his own safety as well as others…without even questioning why…and there was an actual reason for what he did, and it wasn’t just because of some thousand-year-old curse!” she cries. “He tried to kill me because he thought I knew and was in on it! And we both have to live with that memory now! Forever!”

“Your relationship with Sasuke doesn’t give you clearance to know all the village’s secrets, Sakura. Even Naruto isn’t privy to all of them—even I’m not, sometimes,” Kakashi says quietly, clearly trying to maintain some sense of his position. And while she understands that, she still resents it.

“But he could know about this?” she challenges. “A genin who failed every test related to secrecy and subterfuge that we ever took?”

“Hey!” Naruto says in an injured tone.

“You know the point I’m trying to make.”

“You’re trying to subtly remind me about keeping this impersonal,” she counters. “Fine. Then let me point out, according to the rules, your successor is a shinobi of a lower rank than I am—saviour of the world or not. As his superior, you’re not according m the respect and merit of my station. The information I received today is something I should have known since I became a jōnin, because my job is to protect the village from threats. Not knowing has kept me from pursuing that purpose.”

Kakashi’s eyes narrow. “I’m not sure I follow.”

“Why have the Elders not been removed from their positions?” she interrupts.

“Sakura,” he begins, a warning note in his voice.

“No,” she cuts him off. “If Danzō planned all of it, they knew. And they didn’t stop him. People died, Kakashi! Our people, and one of our own was forced to do it! And you think a pretty plaque in a graveyard makes up for that? That is not justice.”

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“Because they continue to be involved!” she snaps. “How many times has their behaviour led to more problems that almost destroyed Konoha from within? For fuck’s sake, we never needed to worry about outside enemies with them around! And yet they retain their positions, their income and the respect of the village, while Itachi is just a name carved on a block of stone and Sasuke is going to spend the rest of his life a pariah because he was trying to get justice for what they allowed to happen?”

“Sakura—”

“No, I’m not done,” she interrupts. “Everyone thinks Itachi’s being honoured because of what he did when he was resurrected by the Edo Tensei—and don’t even get me started on how Kabuto and Orochimaru have all-but been pardoned for their actions after everything—when in truth it’s more than that! If Sasuke’s brother hadn’t acted, Konoha would have been reduced to ashes thirteen years ago! It’s his name that should be taught in our schools or put up on statues, not Danzō or the Elders or the people who almost caused the destruction in the first place!”

“I don’t disagree with you on any of those points,” Kakashi sighs. “But they can’t, Sakura. For the sake of peace. If people thought that those in positions of power in the village—the same individuals they put their trust in to protect them—could be capable of what they did, it would destabilise the government. We may be in a recovery period, but it’s still fragile enough that I’m not sure we could survive if that happened. I’m sure you understand this.”

She clenches her fists, frowning at him, because her logical mind knows that he’s right about that point, at least.

“Something still has to be done,” she insists.

“And it will,” Kakashi promises. “But it will take time. I can work within the shadows and make the political moves necessary, but the push for change has to come from the people. Between you and Naruto, I’m sure you can figure something out. But it won’t happen over night. It’s what’s known as a long game.”

She crosses his arms.

“We’ll figure something out,” Naruto repeats, in a soft and placating voice. And though she knows he means it, and that he probably won’t rest until this problem is fixed, the discord in her heart doesn’t abate.

“None of that excuses the fact that neither of you told me the truth,” she replies. “And Kakashi…I can understand not saying anything. But you, Naruto?”

“It wasn’t…we weren’t sure if…” Naruto hedges, while Kakashi just looks uncomfortable.

That ever-growing suspicion sets in with a bitter twist in her gut.

“You didn’t think Sasuke wanted me to know,” she realises. Her voice feels very far away from her when she asks, “Why? Because of village secrecy? His pride? Or because he doesn’t care about me the way I care about him?”

“No!” Naruto cries. “That’s not it at all!”

“I know our connection isn’t as a strong as the one between you two,” she admits, the words scraping against her throat as she says them. She’s always suspected Sasuke had more regard for Naruto than her, but to have it confirmed that others think the same is still a difficult pill to swallow. “I might not be the reincarnation of his family, but I am his friend. And if I never have anything else, I’ll always have that. And on that fact alone, if you two knew…I should have known.”

“We thought you were better off not knowing,” Kakashi says. “You’re a healer, Sakura, you want to make people feel better. And this is something you can’t heal. We’ve both seen how you take it to heart when you can’t help. We believed we were sparing you that.”

“Again with the protecting me bit?” she questions, shaking her head. All of a sudden, all of the fight goes out of her. “I see. To you all, I will never be anything but that little girl who trailed after you like puppies.” She clenches her eyes tight, still fighting back angry tears. “How can you say you’re my friends, if you can’t trust me with knowing information like this? Sasuke did. If the person who has distanced himself from me for my entire life can show me that respect…why can’t you two?”

She turns to leave.

“Sakura, don’t go!” Naruto cries. “Let’s talk about this!”

“No. You should have talked before,” she retorts. “Now you’re going to wait for me to decide to talk to you. I…need some time to think about this. And about what it means for my future.”

“Your future?” Kakashi echoes.

“I need to decide if I want to continue to serve a village that doesn’t trust me with something so vital,” she whispers, “and if I should keep friends who don’t either.”

Before either of them can stop her, she uses a Shushin to escape the stifling office.

つづく

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#naruto #sasusaku #ssfic #team seven #fanfiction #rating: teen #fic prompt #legacy of fire series #sfw #sakura haruno #sasuke uchiha #naruto uzumaki #kakashi hatake #drama #angst #sakura has no time for your shit

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