#He's such a great DPS and his VOICE oh my God

[scarlettjskipper]

HE'S HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I probably should've posted this was some time ago, but he came home!! I lost 50/50 to Bailu, but he came home nonetheless! I'm so happy!!

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Take What You Give

Pairing: Nightcrawler x Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: fingering, hella dirty talk, pet names, oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, DP kinda- it's with his tail so there's that, praise praise praise, unprotected p in v, creampie, kinda cockwarming also- I think that's everything lol

Genre: smut with the tiniest bits of fluff

Summary: after a dreadfully boring date you know the perfect way to unwind

A/N: Someone on tiktok called Nightcrawler community dick and this idea popped into my head because of it lmaoo

***

You're bored. You're on a date with the least interesting person you've ever met in your life and oh GOD you are bored. You feel bad, he's cute and seems like a nice person but none of your conversations have been stimulating this whole time. You're trying to give a real and honest chance before you quit on this and leave. Although you'll admit you're already making plans for after this date so maybe you've checked out at this point. When he starts telling a story about a nightmarish party his college roommates held years ago you practically leap from your chair.

"Sorry to interrupt, I need to use the restroom." You tell him. You don't wait for him to respond before you rush off to find the bathroom. You allow yourself five minutes to come up with a plan ultimately setting a timer before heading back to your table. "Sorry about that. Please, continue." You say with a smile.

"All good?" He asks.

"Yes. Thank you." You say and he continues his story. Twelve minutes later, the alarm on your phone goes off. "Hang on let me just- sorry I have to take this." You mutter angling your phone away from his view as you fake a phone call. "Hello? ... No I'm out, why is everything okay? ... what?! ... Do you need me to come and get you? ... don't be silly of course I'll come. I'm on my way, alright? ... See you soon. Hang in there." You pace out your responses to your imaginary call. "Dillan I'm so sorry my friend is- in a bit of trouble and really needs my help. I hate to bail but it can't wait." You grimace as convincingly as you can.

"Is everything alright? Do you need-"

"I'm alright. We'll take care of it. I just have to go now, but tonight has been fun. I'll call you!" You say standing up. You will not be calling him.

"Yeah I had a great time. I hope things with your friend turn out fine." He says standing with you. You leave the restaurant with one more muttered goodbye and roll your eyes once you're down the block. Time to solidify your plans for the rest of your evening. You dial the number you haven't used in some time- a few months you think but no matter.

"Liebling." His voice is a little breathless when he answers.

"Hi Kurt." You say.

"It's been a while." You can hear the smile in Kurt's voice.

"I'm a busy woman Wagner and you have quite the schedule yourself. Are you engaged for the evening?"

"I can make myself unengaged."

"Don't trouble yourself Kurt."

"For you my dear it's never trouble. When do you want to see me?"

"Whenever you can unengage yourself and get here is fine. I'm not in any particular rush." You tell him.

"I'll see you in an hour. Ish. Be ready."

"Already am." You say suggestively before hanging up the phone. You catch the beginning of what, knowing Kurt, was probably a swear and you chuckle to yourself as you make your way home.

At home, you take off your makeup and the dress you wore and change into some pretty lacy lingerie. Kurt is quite fond of your collection, he says taking them off feels like unwrapping a present he's been dying to receive for months. He's quite dramatic, but you don't see him often so it's easy to enjoy giving him that little treat when you call on him. It's not yet an hour later when he materializes in your bedroom where you're reading leisurely.

"Hello darling." He smiles.

"You're early." You match the grin on his face.

"I said 'ish' plus I hate to keep you waiting." He shrugs.

"Always so sweet to me." You hum marking your place in your book and placing it on the nightstand beside you.

"Do you work tomorrow?" Kurt asks.

"No." 

"Good." He says and then he's over you, holding himself up with one hand while his other cups your face. "You smell of cologne."

"Bad date." You mutter tugging him down to connect his lips to yours. The kiss doesn't last long, you feel him smile against your lips before pulling away.

"Happy to help you forget about it darling but you should call on me more often if you're feeling lonely." 

"If you're worried I'm replacing you Kurt don't be. You'll always be my favorite." You wink at him pulling him in for another kiss. This one he doesn't break, his tongue slipping into your mouth, dominating the kiss quickly. His hands are up your sides nails slightly dragging against your skin enough to send shivers through you. You back away from him enough to tug his shirt over his head, sliding your fingers down his patterned chest.

"I'll always be your favorite hm?" He smirks kissing down your neck.

"Of course my shadow jumper." You whimper when his mouth focuses on a spot against your throat, one of your hands sliding into his hair.

"You know you're my favorite don't you liebling?" He hums into your skin.

"Never had a doubt." You giggle.

"Good girl." His lips trail further, kissing the swell of your best just over the edge of your bra. "I think this might be my favorite set on you too by the way." He says sitting back and pulling you with him so he can unhook the lacy number.

"You say that every time you're here Kurt." You remind him.

"Every time I'm here you unlock a new type of perfection." He winks dipping his head to wrap his lips around one of your nipples as he lays you back against your pillows.

"You're such a flatterer." You say jokingly but a moan punctuates the sentence as Kurt's teasing tongue against your chest tugs at something deep within you. Your back arches towards him your fingers burying themselves in his hair again. Kurt's tail slides up your leg, making you squirm even more and he uses the extra appendage to pull your panties down your body. That tail wraps around one of your ankles, keeping your legs spread for the hand that slides down your abdomen. When his fingers reach the apex of your thighs you're breathing hitches before he's even touched you.

"Always so ready for me, pretty girl." Kurt chuckles. He plunges two fingers into you quickly, curling them in just the right way to have you grinding against his hand. His fingers pump in and out of you with deliberate thrusts, stretching you for him. "Heaven help me, you're absolutely soaking." Kurt hisses, your juices flowing over his hand.

"Fuck babe- I'm close." You pant out, arching into his hand as you chase your end.

"That's it liebling, let go for me." Kurt coaxes softly before leaning forward to take your clit between his lips. He sucks harshly on the bundle of nerves and the sudden stimulation sends you over the edge with a whine. He works you through it with gentle licks and slow pumps of his fingers, watching the way your face shifts between the stages of your pleasure. When you let out a long albeit shaky breath he pulls away, knowing that loud unsteady release of air means you're back in your body. "Oh how I love making you do that." He says pressing a kiss to your lips before placing his sticky fingers into his mouth. The groan he lets out at your taste flooding his tongue is pornographic. There's no other way to describe it, and a fresh wave of arousal washes over you at the sound. You watch him clean his fingers with a darkened look that he relishes in. That carnal desire in your eyes focused solely on him, he'll never get tired of it. When the essence of you no longer coats his digits he pulls them out with a satisfying pop.

"Skipping your usual protocol today?" You ask with a teasing smile. You'd have no qualms if he did but Nightcrawler is one of those makes you cum a dozen times for his own enjoyment types who has never passed up the opportunity to eat you out before fucking you.

"And allow the sweetest nectar to go to waste? Don't insult me." He scoffs shifting himself to lie between your legs. He wastes no time pulling you towards his waiting mouth and allowing his tongue to dive into your center. Your fingers are in his ink-colored hair moments later, desperate to ground yourself as he devours you like his final meal.

His tongue thrusts in and out of you, slurping the juices that spill from you, moaning as your arousal washes over every inch of his mouth. The sounds from him reverberate against your skin only furthering your madness as Kurt takes you apart one lick, one slurp, one suck at a time. When your legs begin to shake, he brings his hands up to hold your thighs still, digging his fingers into the flesh there as he feasts. Your first orgasm on his tongue meets you with a loud moan and barely contained thrashing that does nothing to slow Kurt. You jerk against his still seeking mouth, but his hold on your thighs simply tightens as he continues his onslaught.

"God! Kurt- please!" You cry out though you're not sure if you're asking him to stop or continue. As if it matters, Kurt will go until he's satisfied which with him could literally be hours. With Kurt there's no such thing as too much, he can go and go and go shattering you into a million pieces just to put you back together so he can do it all over again. And you let him. You relish in the bite of overstimulation that soon melts away to pure pleasure again as his tongue forces another orgasm from you. This one takes you by surprise as you pull at the strands between your fingers, your body convulsing harshly.

Kurt's eyes meet yours and he winks at you as he pulls you tighter against his mouth. His tongue focusing now on your too sensitive clit. You writhe against him, caught between escaping and searching for more as you squeal from his ministrations. When a scream Kurt would describe as piercing falls from your lips and your third orgasm coats his tongue he finally gives you a break, working you through your release before sitting up.

"When I asked if we were skipping your protocol it wasn't a challenge." You eventually huff at him, once your chest stops heaving so hard you thought you'd never get enough air in your lungs.

"Tapping out already? I've given you much more in one go before. Perhaps I should be checking on you more often liebling." Kurt smirks as he wipes his face.

"Tapping out? Before you've even fucked me? It's like you don't know me at all anymore sweet one." You tease back.

"That's my girl." Kurt chuckles shucking his pants off before sinking into you. Between your breathless moan and the feeling of your walls pulsing around him Kurt can't help but groan when he bottoms out. He holds still for a moment allowing both you and him to adjust to your heat swallowing his length. With a deep breath, his hips rock back, almost all the way, and then he thrusts into you so harshly that he shifts you on the bed. He settles his hands on your hips then and sets a brutal rhythm, his hips snapping against yours relentlessly.

"Holy- fuck." You grit out, tossing your head back against the bed. Kurt always fills you to the point where it's almost too much, you can feel him everywhere somehow but oh how you love it. Your nails scrape down Kurt's back as you cling to him while he fucks you ruthlessly.

"So good. You feel so good liebling." He huffs out between his thrusts.

"So do you, god- you fuck me so well. Fill me so nicely."

"I know I do pretty one, this pussy loves taking my dick. Does it so well each time. Isn't that right baby?"

"Yeah- yes- love it so much." You whimper when Kurt's tail slips between your bodies and finds your clit. The extra appendage is as dexterous as his fingers and the swollen bundle of nerves reacts to it the same way, luring you to another orgasm that has you shuddering in Kurt's arms. His tail continues to poke around near where you and Kurt are joined, his hips not slowing even with his tail in the mix. It's something he's done before, not often- but it seems tonight he's pulling out all the stops. The tip of his tail is gathering your wetness, covering itself to prepare for entering you at the other end. Kurt lifts your hips further into him, holding you high enough for his tail to get under you and slowly prod your ass.

"Gonna stuff you proper tonight." Kurt mutters before his tail breeches you. Your gasping whine at the sudden intrusion only fuels Kurt more. His tail quickly matches his hips in rhythm filling you in both holes, clouding your mind. You're a mess of moans and whines as Kurt has his way with you. He pulls one or two more orgasms from you before he's spilling into you with a roar. He doesn't even bother pulling out before lays beside you and pulls you tightly against him. He kisses your forehead softly and whispers something in German that you don't know the meaning of. It's fine he'll be here a while. With Kurt it's never one and done. He'll pull more orgasms from you until you've completely lost count, until all you know is his name and the pleasure he's giving you, until the world has been flipped on its axis and you along with it. It happens every time and that's exactly why you call him when you do.

***

[pokilicious]

SPOILERS FOR 2.1 TRAILBLAZE QUEST!!

Just finished the new update quest and oh my god what a quest!! So here are some of my thoughts!

I already liked Aventurine and now I like him even more! We got to know a lot about his past and motivations and it honestly made him one of my favorite characters of the game! Can we talk about how amazing his boss fight was? The mechanics and his design were pretty cool and I had to retry two times and change teams, but once I got used to the fight, it went on without a hitch! We get more Aventurine and Dr. Ratio interaction and I always love that, they have great chemistry and I hope we get to see more of them as the story grows! Also, if I had a nickel for every time a character from a Hoyoverse game I liked had a boss form with a mask, then I would have two nickels, which isn't a lot but I find it funny that it happened twice

Now onto Acheron! I thought Acheron was an emanator of Nihility ever since we knew she was an emanator and I'm so happy I got that right! She's still mysterious but I think we also learned a lot about her, even if I still haven't processed enough to have quality thoughts about it lol, we also got Acheron and Welt interaction and I didn't personally played a lot of HI3 but I could imagine the reactions of those who played lmao

WE GOT BOOTHILL'S VOICE IN GAME BABYYYY!! Not gonna lie, I thought he was going to sound a bit different, but I liked what we got hehe can't wait to roll for him and get another DPS for my collection lmao

I KNEW SAM WAS FIREFLY!! I SAID IT AND IT WAS TRUE I'M SO HAPPY AAAAAAAAAHHHH! The exchange between Sam and Acheron, Sam saving us from Aventurine's attack, the reveal! Everything was perfect!! Can't wait to see how them being the same person will affect gameplay!

And lastly, the whole exchange between Sunday and Gallagher??? Hello??? What was that???? Someone died and I'm not sure who it was? Like I was so shocked with the whole thing in general that I couldn't really comprehend what happened at the time lmao guess I have to wait to see someone's gameplay lol

All in all? An amazing quest that really hypes the next updates to come, really excited to see what happens next and how everything we learned so far will fit together

[cosette141]

To Be A Hero | Danny Phantom fanfic

Fandom: Danny Phantom Author: cosette141 Words: 22k Summary: Danny has always known the consequences should he be captured by the Guys In White, but now Tucker is going to learn firsthand just what the stakes are for his superhero friend and what it really means to be a hero. (not slash) hurt/comfort AO3 (fully finished on AO3!)

For "Day 1: Tucker Foley/Power Up". I've been following along with the DP side hoes event going on by @lexosaurus but my muse isn't here right now. Hope its ok to include a past fic that fits the theme. If that's not cool, I can remove the tag. :)

Chapter One

Danny wiped cold sweat from his brow, and leaned against the building behind him. He pressed his hands on his knees, panting as he floated in mid-air around the tenth story of an apartment complex. Moonlight cast his snow-white hair in a sheen glow, and glinted off the Fenton thermos in his hand. He lifted his head, and asked, between gasps, "Was that… the last… one?"

The Fenton Phones crackled in his ear, and Tucker pulled out his PDA, the light glinting in the darkness where he and Sam stood on the street below. "Check, and check." He yawned audibly and canted his head back toward where Danny hovered. "Finally."

"Great," muttered Sam, muffling her own yawn with her hand. She crossed her arms and tapped her foot on the pavement. "Now, can we please go to bed?"

"Ghost fighting first, sleep later, Sam." tsked Tucker. "You know the—" He made an oof sound over the headsets and Danny was pretty sure he saw Sam land her elbow into his gut. "Okay, sleep it is." They both picked up their scooters from the sidewalk.

Danny sighed in his own exhausted relief and pushed off the building to fly home. "Thank god. I thought this night would never—"

Danny's words were cut harshly off as something hard and sharp struck him in the stomach. It sliced across his skin, cutting the suit and into his abdomen. He cried out, the force of the hit driving him backward into the apartment building, shattering a window.

"Danny!"

Dazedly, Danny heard his friends shouting at him through the Phones, but his head pounded far too much to hear anything through the muddled pain. He raised a hand to his head, groaning. He barely had time to realize he was falling toward the pavement.

-.-.-.

"Danny!"

Tucker and Sam ducked as the broken glass from the window Danny slammed into showered down on them. Tucker felt Sam grab his jacket sleeve and yank him out of the downpour.

"Danny," whispered Sam breathlessly, eyes glued to the falling figure of their best friend. Tucker picked himself off the ground and ran.

He caught Danny just in time, nearly bridal-style, but Danny's altitude forced his weight into Tucker and they both slammed into the pavement.

Tucker cringed, his head nearly whiplashing on the ground. His back took most of the fall. He felt Danny's dead weight on his chest, pinning him down. Tucker lifted his head off the ground, ignoring that his hat didn't follow. Danny's head rested on his chest, but his eyes weren't open. He was out cold.

"Danny?" asked Tucker frantically, pressing a finger into Danny's forehead. "Dude? You… you okay?"

Danny didn't respond.

Tucker heard Sam's pounding footsteps behind him at the same moment he suddenly felt wet. He glanced down, realizing a green ooze was leaking over himself and the pavement.

Ectoplasm.

His heart shot into a frenzy. Danny was bleeding. A lot. "Danny!" he almost shouted. He grabbed his friend's shoulder and shook it, hard. "Dude, wake up!"

"Is he okay?" came Sam's panicked voice. She reached out and started to carefully pull Danny off of Tucker's chest. Danny's weight was freezing, and warm air quickly filled its place as Sam transferred him to the ground. The moment she did, white light encased Danny's waist, changing Phantom back to Fenton.

He still didn't stir.

"Oh my god," she breathed, eyes drawn to the growing pool of dark blood. But even in the darkness, they could tell the green ectoplasm was beginning to turn crimson.

Tucker pulled himself onto his knees, ignoring the fact that he was practically covered head to toe in Danny's blood. He looked at his friend, now noticing the sizable gash from where his shirt exposed it; the cut was nasty, still bleeding now-red blood onto the pavement. Tucker's heart cantered. "He's… he's okay." He looked panicked at Sam. "He's okay, right?"

Sam responded by slapping Danny on the face. "Danny!"

Danny flinched.

Both Tucker and Sam released a breath as his eyes flickered open. He coughed lightly, groggily lifting his head. His hand sluggishly found his side and he winced, looking down at it. His eyes widened at the blood. "Ugh… wha' hit me?"

Trying to ignore the slur in his words, Tucker swallowed hard. "I… I don't know."

"Yeah," muttered Sam, briefly looking toward the sky. "What the hell did hit you?"

Danny lifted a hand and gingerly touched the wound. The moment his fingers made contact, he gasped and tore them away.

"Crap," muttered Sam.

"What?" asked Tucker, a slight whine entering his voice.

"Danny's not in ghost form," she said, looking at him. "He heals faster in ghost form."

"Still heal pretty fast as a human," said Danny sleepily. He shut his eyes and his head slowly titled toward the ground.

"No!" Sam slapped his cheek again and he snapped his eyes open. "No sleeping, Danny!"

Danny lazily rolled his eyes at her. "Bossy."

"Look, we have to get this taken care of." said Sam, turning to Tucker. "My house is further than FentonWorks. Jazz has a first aid kit in her room—we'll have to wake her up."

Danny groaned. "No, guys—I'll… I'll heal fine, okay? If we tell Jazz she's just gonna… gonna fuss all over me…"

"Danny, you sound drunk," snapped Sam. "You are not fine."

"I'm with your girlfriend on this one, dude," added Tucker. He ignored the "I'm not his/She's not my girlfriend" responses from his friends and risked another look down at the blood. "Um, dude, can you walk?"

Danny bit his lip, then tried pushing himself off the ground. He yelped and fell back to the pavement. "That's a no," he said, barely audibly.

Tucker and Sam helped pull Danny slowly and carefully to his feet, sharing his weight between them. They started their slow walk toward FentonWorks. Danny cringed with every step, dragging his feet. Too bad he's not in ghost form, thought Tucker. He was far lighter as a ghost.

Danny's head hung low over his chest, his breathing loud and labored. "Agh—damn, that… that stings—" His face was pinched and white.

"We're almost there, dude," said Tucker quickly. They made it to the door, and Sam left Danny hanging onto Tucker as she slipped her personal FentonWorks key—not that she was given a personal key—into the lock and opened the door. She rushed back to her two best friends and grabbed her half of Danny's weight.

"Try not to bleed all over your carpet," said Tucker, attempting to lighten the mood.

"I'll keep… that in mind," was Danny's forced reply.

Their journey across the living room and up the stairs—oh, god, the stairs—was painfully slow. By the time they reached Jazz's bedroom door, Tucker's shoulders were burning by how much Danny was leaning on him.

Sam opened Jazz's door and Tucker dragged Danny inside. He wound an arm around Danny's torso, holding him as upright as he could manage without Sam. He watched as the goth shook Jazz awake.

"Jazz," she hissed to the sleeping redhead.

"No—a B?" mumbled Jazz sleepily. "But I studied—"

"Jazz!"

Jazz shot upright, whipping her head toward Sam and clutching her blanket close to her chest. "Wha—Sam?" She rubbed her eyes. "What time is it?"

"Three a.m.," said Sam quickly. "Look, we need to know where you keep that extensive first aid kit."

Jazz's eyes immediately sharpened. "Why? What's wrong? Where's Danny?"

"'M right here, Jazz," mumbled Danny, in a much less sober voice than he had a minute ago. Tucker shook him slightly, making him blink his eyes open wider.

"Danny!" she hissed. Jazz jumped out of bed and rushed over to him, turning on a dim lamp with a click. "What—oh my god, Danny, what happened to you?!"

"Shh!" chided Sam. "We don't need your parents busting in here!"

Jazz ignored her, staring at the now-red stains on Danny's t-shirt. Tucker led Danny to Jazz's bed and relieved his burning arm from its duty. Danny fell back on the comforter with a cringe.

"'S not that bad, guys," whispered Danny to the room. "I heal fast."

"Not in human form, you don't!" snapped Sam. Her face was whiter than normal, and Tucker could tell she was shaking.

"Still faster than normal," Danny tried.

Jazz pulled a big, white first aid box out from underneath her bed, unwinding a roll of gauze. "I told you to tell me when you were going out patrolling, Danny!"

"I was with Sam and Tucker," whined Danny vaguely, cringing as Jazz lifted his shirt away from his wound. The cut was jagged and still bleeding fresh blood. Tucker resisted the urge to gag.

"Yeah?" said Jazz. "And look at what happened to you!"

"I don't even know what happened to me," said Danny, then gasped as Jazz dabbed antiseptic over the cut. Danny's hand fisted in the comforter.

"It was weird," said Tucker distantly. "Something hit him. But I have no idea what it was or where it came from."

"Holy crap, Tuck!" said Sam suddenly. She lifted the corner of the sleeve of his shirt. He looked down and realized he was still drenched in Danny's ectoplasm, nearly head to toe. Sam's fingers seemed to find the only patch of his shirt that wasn't dripping in glowing green.

"Aw, man!" whined Tucker, pulling off his hat, just now remembering how much his clothes have been destroyed. His hat seemed mostly untouched by the ghost-blood, and he heaved a sigh of relief and placed it back on his head. He glanced down at his arms, his face turning nearly a matching shade of green."Ugh, it's gonna take, like, six showers to get this stuff out…"

"Sorry, Tuck," said Danny softly, visibly trying to keep his eyes open.

"Well," said Jazz, wrapping the gauze around Danny's torso. "The bleeding seems to be slowing down."

"Told you," said Danny quietly. His eyes drooped. "C'n we go to sleep now?"

Jazz's face softened at the little-boy quality in his face. "Sure, little brother. But you have to let me take a look at that in the morning."

Tucker and Sam walked Danny back to his bedroom; he was still too exhausted to phase through the wall. He dropped on his bed gracelessly, releasing a gasp of pain.

Sam's hand shot for his shoulder. "Danny, are you sure you're okay?"

Danny groaned, cracking one eye open, meeting Sam's. Tucker shifted his weight from foot to foot, feeling—again—like the the third wheel of his two best friends. He fought the urge to whistle casually when Danny said, "You don't have to worry so much. I'll be fine, Sam."

Sam's hand lingered on his shoulder for a moment more, then she took it back and she and Tucker turned to go. His voice hoarse and quiet, Danny said, "Thanks, guys."

Tucker and Sam shared a knowing look. Tucker shrugged, grabbing Danny's door to pull it shut. Meaning every word, Tucker said, "What are friends for, dude?"

-.-.-.-.

"Damn it, he's gone."

Agent K glared at the tracker in his hands, monitoring the heat signatures below him. They'd been locking into Phantom's freezing signature moments ago. Their weapon had hit him head on, then he disappeared. K looked down over where he hovered above the street, only seeing a couple of teenagers up way past their bedtime. He turned toward his partner. "Did you get it?"

Agent O held out a hand, waiting for the small silver disc to land in his palm. Moonlight glinted off the metal as they floated in their sleek, Guys In White brand hovercrafts. Agent O looked down at the disc. Its blades were slick with fresh ectoplasm. He held it up in the moonlight, grinning sickly at Agent K.

"Oh," he said. "I got it." He looked down after where Phantom disappeared into the shadows of the alley. "That ghost kid might have disappeared tonight, but by tomorrow, he's ours."

-.-.-.

Fully completed over on AO3! (Link at top underneath summary!)

Here’s also a link to an animatic for this fic done by the incredible @aanau of chapter 4 (so don’t watch till you read chapter 4 or you’ll be spoiled!!! ;) ) thank you again for making such an amazing animatic of the fic!!! I cherish it so much! <3

[alchemania]

HI I'm still in mourning about Mimi and I'm tired of pretending I'm not!!! So to cope I'm going to post hcs and yell into the void YIPPEE let's get goin'!

•Mimi is about the same height as Kokomi, but she's wider (Genshin is afraid of curves and hips but I am not and thus!!! I bestow them upon my baby)! Has a bit of a belly (she's squishy!! friend shaped!! she gives the best hugs ever)

•Her voice claim would be Lisa Ortiz in English (4Kids era Amy Rose AKA my FAVORITE Amy Rose good GOD Lisa KILLED it as Amy)

•She loves to sing and moves to Fontaine to become an idol (just like Kuki she wasn't happy being a priestess), sends Kokomi letters frequently.

•Personality wise she basically acts like Yoimiya in my head - a bit childish and bubbly and very excitable but also emotionally intelligent- she also says silly little catchphrases when she's taken aback like "great googly moogly!" or "oh my goodness gracious". She's very sensitive too, cries really easily. Please do not yell at her.

•Huggy touchy! If you're friends with her prepare to be leaned on, hugged from behind, gentle hands to the shoulder to comfort, and a kiss to the cheek every time she says hello (Mimi says I love you like it's a greeting she's so so openly affectionate she has SO much love to give)

•In terms of team role, she'd be a DPS/CC (because we barely have any hydro wise + cutesy/frilly aesthetic girl who hits like a truck is my favorite trope), I'm thinking her burst would be something like a tidal wave and she's like "THE OCEAN TAKES NO PRISONERS"/"Whirling waves, WASH AWAY IMPURITY!" (She means business in battle.)

•Her favorite foods are sweets she's a sucker for any dessert (I think her special dish would be smth that looks like sango pearls although I don't know what. I saw a cute edit of her dish being the taiyaki too just dyed pink). She's not really picky about food tho if it tastes good, it's going in her tummy.

•In terms of friends she gets along with basically all the resistance + Beidou and she's on good terms with Yoimiya as well! Also she has THE fattest crush on Kazuha (I'm going to carry this agenda on my back until I die because I shipped them from way back during the leaks and I ain't about to stop now!)

•She moves and grooves when she's happy I'm talking hops up and down, flails her hands, squeals, etc. Might even grab your hands and hop up and down with YOU if she's exuberant enough!

•She really likes frogs! .. I have no explanation for this it just feels right. Aight?

•Likes to give gifts! She'll pick up things and give them to her friends like "i saw this and thought of you C:"

•Very much an optimist, though not naively. She simply chooses to believe that in spite of the cracks and imperfections of the world it is still overall beautiful, and so are the people: you just have to look for them. Mimi also believes that there is potential for good in almost everyone (keyword POTENTIAL. NOT that everyone IS good, but if they choose to be, they could be); and that everyone deserves a friend (I really like the idea of her reaching out to Heizou, since he doesn't really have a lot of them. I think she'd be ride or die for him tbh)

•Will make crowns out of Sango pearls and put them on and twirl around! Puts them on other people too . Joy!!!! Crown be upon ye!!!

[seelestia]

i'm holding this au close to my heart that is adorable shsjdjsjdh zhongrin in a nutshell LMAO now i'm wondering what ayalia's (what is your ship name??????) dynamics is. hmmmmmm..... suave bf x hopelessly-in-love gf? lol

where would ayato be in this hp au.... i'm seeing prefect!ayato helping a junior!reader and a romance blossoming from there hehe maybe you're friends with ayaka and he sees you struggling to write your essay in the library, so he comes over to help, and the rest is history? throw in a dash of "kamisato clan is one of the revered noble purebloods in the wizarding world" for the conflict and a dash of nobleman!au into the mix? :D

🎤 *taps mic* *clears throat* yes i feel very accomplished at the great deed that i have done and i would first and foremost thank my husband for his neverending support- /j the theme is super pretty and calming! matches ayato perfectly with his elegance and all <3

ehehe thanks~ and yea i hope so too hskdjsjf my luck with 50/50 are so bad. itto was the only one who's super kind and came home early sobs

omg...... slow dancing with zhongli.... foreheads touching…. his arms on your waist and yours around his neck….. with jazz music in the background...... i....... i am weAK...........

..... does rex incognito count as liyue music? /is bonked/ gosh that is a HARD choice to make. liyue's music is just *chefs kiss* i adore the battle themes (gallant challenge & rapid as wildfires) bc they're so energetic (the guzheng(?) omgggg) and gets you going "!!! time to be badass !!!".... wangshu inn ost has a special place in my heart bc the first time i came to liyue that's the first area that really made me go "oh my god WHAT????".... but i think my favorite of all has to be "liyue" hahah it's just. idk. there's just something about it. i'm not the type to hum along a song but man. i swear you can put almost any of the liyue ost on and i'll automatically hum along!!

oh oh and i found this orchestral mix of zhongli and raiden's theme and it's soooo gooooooood!!!

speaking of al haitham.... i just met him in game and i-uh-i might be simping. hard. i mean. gosh. 😳🫣🙈❤️💗 his eyes….. his voice..... and those….. muscles….. *lays on floor and kicks feet giddily*

the new dendro elemental reactions are so fun!! i tried to switch up some artifacts for zhongli yesterday to bump up his crit + geo dmg, and i tried him as dps along with lumine, xingqiu, and shinobu to do the combat quests of the current event. possible second team mayhaps hehe and when al haitham is released i can replace lumine with him-

i mean he could just rotate it so it goes over his feet & head and that should be good?? zhongli cmon be creative-

invitation to a marriage 🤣 random brainrot when it comes to marriage scenario: imagine ayato in fully decked suits or traditional japanese kimono extending his hand towards you, smile so gentle and his eyes a little (juuuust a little) glassy because of how overjoyed he is to finally be able to marry you <3

t-rex machine bad. gotcha. imma avoid at all cost : )

i can imagine you seeing that coming in and be like "who are you and who hurt you" lol skdjlsdjlsjf i just saw that omg that's adorable wahhhhh i'm so so glad you had fun with that request!!! NO BUT THAT'S THE CHARM SEE they're always so composed and seems unshakeable..... so to see them suffer bc of you? shows how important you are to them <3 cut their last thread of sanity and make them b r e a k hehe <3

AND YES DO IT WITH THE TERRORSHROOM LMAO

ps. ☆ starlight anon, dear, i am watching and waiting :D

THERE'S SM AYATO BRAINROTS IN THIS ASK, OML. rin jie, i think you're trying to assassinate me... so i'm just going to 🕳️🚶 real quick. (/lh)

but you are not wrong !! ayalia is defined by the suave bf x hopelessly-in-love gf + simp who doesn't hide their love x popular and cool who has a soft spot, maybe??? >:)

AND PREFECT!AYATO. how dare you chip in that bit of pureblood nobleman!ayato in this au, i will scream. (/pos)

but he'd totally lean over your shoulder with a smile as you scribble away at your notes in the library — to see what you're working on and partially to see the way you wince so adorably in surprise. killing two birds with one stone is a form of fun a man like ayato can't refute. he'd speak to you with such composed cadence, knowing that each word he says would entice you to fall deeper and deeper for him. but ayato can't say that he doesn't expect it to backfire on him... after all, you're just the cutest little thing, how can he not fall for you in return? ha, perhaps, this would count as killing two birds with one stone too; except he's one of the birds yet also the one throwing the stone, and he doesn't mind.

(if prefect!ayato ever does that to me, i'd dig my own grave by accidentally headbutting him like an idiot from shock LMAODOAO — okay, so maybe, ayalia is also cool and popular who does charming tricks x flustered clumsy simp who accidentally ruins said tricks /j)

is it finally time for us to become the sorting hat for genshin characters??? 🔍 hm, what do you think ayato's and your main trio's hogwarts house would be??? 👀 speaking of, i previously assigned heizou as a slytherin but after some more thought, i think he'd be a gryffindor instead! free spirit, courage, chivalry, some recklessness which sounds a lot like our detective here.

as for ayato, i actually keep getting hufflepuff vibes from him, vv surprisingly??? he may be cunning and a bit of a rascal, but i don't think he is the type to desire getting ahead thru questionable means nor are his ambitions exceptionally grand like a slytherin's; ayato seems to lean more towards being a fair and responsible leader to me, which just screams hufflepuff. gryffindor is out of the question because he lacks recklessness and that free spirit <//3 i'm vv curious abt what you'd think! which house would you assign him, rin jie??? >:)

OFC, IT'D BE REX INCOGNITO, OFC IT WOULD. and to be completely honest??? vv valid. why does the beatdrop go so hard like why am i suddenly floating to celestia (/j) AND OML, THE ORCHESTRAL VER FT. RAIDEN'S THEME, HELLO??? TYSM FOR SHARING <3 atp, i am ascending beyond celestia and i do not complain. orchestral versions are another level of beauty, i sweaaaar 😭

the alhaitham wave is dawning on you... it seems he has reserved a spot in your future pull list! manifesting for us both >:) his voice is super duper calming, helppppp. and i find his character interesting too because he's so serious and frigid like loosening up is a whole crime for him or smth, but we still love him either way! (/j) i hope you're having fun with the bloom and superblooms reactions !! AND THE DPS ZHONGLI !! HOW IS THE OLD MAN FARING !! sorry, xiao, we gotta try smth new so, you are now permitted to get some rest fjkskdke <//3

WEDDING DAY WITH AYATODKORWO. the corners of his eyes dampen a little because he has called you his multiple times before, but why does today feel so different? ah, he sounds a little sappy there; ayato assures you that it's because your beauty just astounds him and that is not a lie. but the existence of today is a confirmation the commissioner never knows he would've needed; that you are his and he is yours. how trivial of him to tear up over something he already knows, especially in front of a crowd... but perhaps, he'll grant himself this brief moment of silliness just for today.

if i open up requests again in the future, idk what sort of pain i should be expecting from you. (/j) NOOOO, as someone who falls for the composed ones, that is my curse. but what do you have to say about yourself, rin jie??? last time i checked, zhongli, kazuha, and xiao are all people with quite the composure, hMMM?? 🤨 why do i have to suffer alone (/j) but those three already had their broken in kiss me with your eyes closed as per your request, you angst consumer. <//3

[hydrachea]

2-5, 7, 13, 14, 30, 31 and 34!

(Genshin Impact ask game)

2. Who is your favorite character?

Tartaglia. It's Tartaglia, to nobody's surprise. I don't know either, I didn't think much of him before I started playing and then he stole my heart and now he means the world to me. I got him to friendship level 6 today and spent half an hour writing the poorest excuse for an essay ever in an attempt to piece his character together from canon info only. I love him so goddamn much and he's disgustingly spoiled.

3. Your favorite party?

This is my current main team (I have a secondary team with Geo Aether, Jean and Ningguang for "utility" like puzzles and mining). Double pyro for the damage, Taru as the main DPS with Yanfei as backup when he's on cooldown or enemies are immune to hydro, Thoma for the shields, and Shinobu for healing and a bit of damage now that she's C4 and has a 4-piece Ocean-Hued Clam set (both of them for elemental reactions as well). Shinobu and Yanfei are a very good Overloaded duo, and Tartaglia can pretty much murder anything on his own but a bit of Vaporize or Electro-Charged is always welcome.

4. Which characters do you have (count all of them)?

That's all of them! So 22 total, but only about 14 that actually come from the gacha since you get a lot as quest rewards. Though interestingly enough, my Dori isn't an event reward since I'm not in Sumeru yet - I just rolled her.

Just... Don't look at their levels. It's a work in progress.

5. The character you don’t have but you want soso bad?

Zhongli, oh my god I want Zhongli so badly. He's my second favorite (I expected him to be the first but we all know what happened here) and I need his shield. For my sanity.

7. Who is your least favorite character?

For playables, I'm not huge on Mona though it's more her design - she's my "least favorite" in the sense that I like everyone else more, not that I dislike her. For NPCs I still hold the grudge of a lifetime against Keijirou for how tedious his stealth mission was.

13. Favorite enemy?

Ruin guards! I used to hate fighting them but loved their design (Castle in the Sky looking guys, how could I not?) but now that I have a built DPS I hunt them for sport and I have a blast every time. Fatui Pyro Agents are a very close second, they also have great designs and fighting styles.

14. Least favorite enemy?

So far it's still Geovishaps. My shielder isn't optimal for them, and they're just very annoying to fight - a close second is any kind of Lawachurl.

30. Something you like in general.

The music. Genshin has an incredible soundtrack, and I think for me it's part of why I enjoy the game so much. Good music really adds to a gaming experience.

31. Something you dislike in general.

The controls. They aren't bad, but there's no optimal setup - I play with a controller, which is nicer to sit back and relax while I play and also gives me better camera control, but it's not great for the instruments and most importantly it makes aiming with a bow incredibly hard. A bit of a problem when your main uses a bow... But I'm not willing to switch to keyboard for that reason alone, because for almost everything else I prefer using my controller.

34. What do you think of Paimon?

I genuinely, unironically adore Paimon. I still think it's due in part to how much nicer on the ears her voice is in the CN dub, but I also grew really fond of her. She's a dear friend to my Traveler, she cares about him so damn much and he cares about her too, and she's so endearing. If something happens to her I'll burn Teyvat to the ground.

[fueledbysano]

KINKTOBER DAY 6: “DP; Mikey, Draken”

summary: It's been a couple months already since you and both of the guys had had this strange situationship, until they decide to confront about your feelings one night at your dorm room...

✧ pairing: mikey x f!reader x draken

✧ includes: college au, NSFW, detailed smut, threesome, double penetration, implied polyamorous relationship

✧ a/n: are you happy to be in Paris? Oui.

“Ah, look! Both of my favorite boys are here!” Heels in one hand and purse in the other, You greet Mikey and Draken who stood on your doorstep, waiting for your arrival. Your voice came out tipsy as you had a few shots with friends an hour prior at a frat party.

“Y/N–” Draken called, only for you to interrupt and squish yourself in between the two to open your apartment door. “Come in!” You insist, holding up the door for them.

Mikey was the first to enter, followed by Draken who let out what seemed like an annoyed sigh while they followed behind you, stumbling to your room.

They leaned on either side of the doorway, patiently waiting for you to pull yourself together while taking a big gulp of water from a bottle.

They stood back up properly once you turn, now throwing each of them a teasing smile.

“You two are such good kissers.” You blurt, first standing on your tippy toes to place a kiss on Draken's lips, reaching behind you, then now sharing a kiss with Mikey.

It's been a couple months already since you and both of the guys had had this strange situationship. They had chosen to leave you alone after they had both expressed their feelings to you, unbeknownst to each other, saving you the burden of having to pick.

You knew you couldn't possibly choose between them; not only would it be cruel to the other, but you also loved them equally, so why did you feel compelled to do so? And then you realized you didn't have to. That's exactly what they thought, too, so here they were, standing in front of you, and ready to propose an idea.

“We’re going to be honest with you here,” Draken stated from beside you. “We think it's a good time to ask...” He added.

“Y/N, do you like... one of us?” Mikey simply blurted, taking you aback and silent.

“I don’t want the two of you to think this is wheird.” You mumbled, truthfully speaking from your heart. “But I don’t like just one of you, I just... don't.”

“I think we’ve already been over the fact that we know you do...” Draken started to speak but was cut off by your response.

“My god, I’m saying that I like the both of you.” You managed to confess so easily.

The guys looked taken aback, blinking at her in bewilderment and then said in unison. “Both?”

Your face flushed pink again and nodded hesitantly. You had a strong desire to escape and hide from the them for the rest of your life, but you decided against it, as if it would make this any better.

“Great...”

Mikey and Draken weren't giving you the judging stares you were expecting. Instead, they smiled brightly and laughed quietly to themselves.

You blinked, “Great?”

“Yes,” Mikey replied, the smile on his face not faltering the slightest. “We were hoping you'd say that.”

“Wait, that's ok with you?” You looked and sounded more confused than ever.

“Oh, Y/N...” Mikey rose an eyebrow, a smirk forming on his lips. “Sharing is caring.”

“I don’t have to choose between you two?”

“Nope.”

You were completely speechless. I could really have both? Of them? You swore the two could hear the hammering of your heart by now, But there was one particularly naughty question running around in your thoughts, one you couldn't readily dismiss so easily.

Before you even realized it, you were already spilling everything for the two to hear.

“How would we even have sex in that way?”

Your eyes widened, “You weren't supposed to hear that.” You blurt.

For a brief moment, Mikey and Draken appeared stunned, but then the largest grins swept over their faces. You swore you could almost hear the thoughts running in their head as their lips tugged with mischief.

“Interesting question...” Draken commented, his gaze burning holes through your body

Mikey stepped closer from where he was at, licking his lips. “Wanna find out for ourselves?”

Your heart sped as Mikey's jacket was discarded to the floor, and now, both guys entering your bedroom. Draken cupped your jaw with both hands and began to kiss you. Slow at first, teasing before the fire of the kiss picked up.

You gasped at the touch of Mikey wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and began to trail kisses down your neck and shoulders. He made a small bite here and there to increase your pleasure, smiling every time you gasped into the kiss.

Each gasp allowed Draken to go deeper, exploring your mouth with his tongue. His hands let go of your jaw to unbutton your shirt as Mikey undid the buttons of your jeans, both making quick work of undressing you.

With their actions combined, you were easily stripped down to your underwear now. You parted from Draken's lips breathlessly, deciding to take control of the situation.

You pulled off both their shirts before tugging in their trousers, encouraging them to get them off themselves.

You teasingly laid in the middle of your bed with elbows supporting gour body, watching them strip in front of you with their eyes glued on your body.

You finally gesture them to join you, in which they immediately obliged to, crawling up on either side of the bed beforee running your hands down their bare chests, they smiled at ghe sensation, before following your frame slowly bend down.

You took both of the shafts into your hands and began pumping, taking Mikey's into your mouth first. He moaned loudly as you moved your lips up and down, perfectly hugging his length. He fought his urge to thrust into your mouth as you continued, before you pulled off entirely with a pop and turned to his best friend.

Draken moaned louder especially when you made eye contact with him and hummed around his cock. It drove him crazy, you drove him crazy. A while after, you paid your attention back to each of their lips and they eagerly returned the kisses with passion.

Shifting positions, Draken sat behind you and you sat between his legs as Mikey gave a sly smile, now crawling in between your legs.

He took off your panties, while Draken easily unclipped your bra. Draken started to pamper you with kisses as Mikey began to tease your clit with his tongue, the sensitivity of which made you gasp and moan.

With a single finger, Draken turns your head so easily for another kiss, your moans dissolving wigt his. That was until Mikey began to lick your folds messily and expertly, causing you to have to part from the kiss to let out your moan.

“I think she likes that , Mikey...” Draken remarked, watching you wither in his arms under Mikey's actions. Mikey laughed before giving one last kiss to your pussy and inserting two fingers into your hole, curling them to hit your pleasure spots.

You groaned at the sensation, surprised at how easily he was able to do that to you. Draken kissed from your ear to your neck as Mikey continued. “Are you ready?”

You knew what Draken was asking, Immediately nodding with a bite to your lower lip in anticipation “Hell yeah.”

You shuffled over as Draken laid back onto the pillows to make space, kissing him quickly before turning to face Mikey and kissing him as well. He smiled at you wigt reassurance, backing you up until your back hits Draken's chest, placeing his hands over your hips to keep you steady, lowering down onto him, his cock entering your ass.

You gasped at the sensation, Mikey kisses you repeatedly until you felt comfortable and ready for his turn to enter

“Okay,” You took a deep breath as Draken listened to your words and began to slowly and carefully move inside you. You laid back and made space for Mikey to enter you now. He lined himself up with your entrance and pushed his length in slowly, eliciting a moan of pleasure from you at the feeling of fullness once they were both inside of you.

You now allowed Mikey to move, beginning to thrust in response. Draken whispered sweet nothings into your ear, kissing you whenever he could as Mikey was occupied with your lips fiercely. The kiss was sloppy, all tongue and teeth but it was perfect. Exactly what you needed just in time for the tension to form in your stomach.

“Oh, M– Mhmm God!” You moaned loudly, not knowing whose name to scream as they were both making you feel so good. Draken softly hummed in your ear at the sound.

You felt each other get close and they must have sensed your edge as well as they both now encouraged you to cum. You let go with a yelp, your orgasm now hitting you hard throughout your body.

You laid back onto Draken with a heavy pant, making eye contact with Mikey who had his pupils blown with lust from watching you come undone with your high.

He planted his hands on both sides of you as he went faster indulging to the pleasure, moments before feeling him cum inside you, a weak smile tugging up your lips at how good it felt.

He pulls out and laid down, collapsing beside where you and Draken were still connected.

“Cum for me, baby.” That was all the incentive Draken needed as he thrust harder in you one last time, unloading his release. He shuddered beneath you from his orgasm.

You then off of him, laying between the two, slightly squished. Mikey and Draken kissed each your cheeks in unison, and your heart flutters at the gesture. “That was great.” Your voice came out hoarsely,

“Good night, Y/N.” You giggled breathy at their synched words before falling into a quick sleep.

[camels-pen]

a blanket for three

Summary:

Picnic dates are a lot harder to organize than Tucker thought. He can't complain with the results though.

For @ghost-pasta's DP Valentine's prompt list Day 5: strawberry

Ao3 Link

~

Now though, Danny could only marvel at the beautiful scenery. The fields of grass lightly swaying in the wind with not a patch of sand in sight. The island’s miniature sun beaming down on the plant life where it floats in the swirling green sky, providing warmth to all under its rays. The large yet sparse acacia trees in the distance. The… camels?

He put on a short burst of speed and when he saw a familiar figure on the beach, he took a nonsensical route for a few moments, letting his tail light up with ecto-energy before flying down to stand in front of them. The bright green letters, several shades brighter than the sky and practically blinding, made the woman on the island wince lightly before pulling out a pair of sunglasses from under her cloak.

“‘I heart you’?” Sam snorted, a fond smile growing on her face. “Dork.” Danny smiled. She glanced at the blanket in his arms and raised an eyebrow. Danny’s smile grew wider as he unfurled the plaid blanket.

“Just like old times, right? I asked one of the seamstresses to make it.” His smile faltered slightly. “Uh, where’s—?”

“HERE! I’m here, I am… right here,” Tucker said, panting as he pulled himself out of a small sand dune not far from them. “Just… just give me a second.” He leaned his hands on his knees, bracelets and necklaces jingling as he struggled to catch his breath.

“How far did you go?” Sam asked, concerned.

Tucker waved her off, though he didn’t protest Danny dusting sand off his shoulders and hair. He spit out a few grains of sand before replying, “Just… the other side… of the island.” He groaned. “God, I wish I could fly. Sand movement is so wack.”

Danny laughed, surprised. “Holy shit, I haven’t heard that in so long.”

Tucker furrowed his eyebrows. “It hasn’t been that long since it’s been popular.”

“Nope, that’s a straight retro meme, Tuck. Hasn’t been used in decades,” Sam said with a smirk as Tucker gaped. “Oh how the technogeek has fallen.”

Tucker shook his head. “Okay but that is actually a retro meme. Wack isn’t retro.”

“Considering it was popular after we finished college, I’m gonna have to disagree with you.”

“No, nuh uh, I refuse. I’m in the right here.” Tucker pulled out a small metal bracelet. “Here, I’ll look it up and show you.” He pressed a button and a 3D display popped up in front of them. After typing in a few key words, Tucker pulled up the date of origin.

“There, 2012,” he said, smug. “Never doubt me again.”

Sam made a confused face. “It’s gotta be older than that.”

“He’s right Sam, look.” Danny’s voice trembled with laughter. “It was popularized in 2014 by”—he snorted—“‘your butthole’.”

Tucker rolled his eyes. “Oh real mature Mr. two-hundred-year-old-king.”

“I never claimed to be mature,” he said as he continued to fail at reigning in his laughter.

The sound of a small bell chiming caused Danny to look around. “Uh, did you guys hear that?”

“Oh nice, that means they’re done. Thanks, D.” Tucker gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Did you guys have your stuff?”

“Yup. One large blanket, big enough for three people.” Danny held up the fabric for Tucker. “And I’m pretty sure Sam will just conjure up the right flowers for us once she sees the scene.”

“Nope.” The two men turned to her. She nudged at the sandy ground with her boot and three small cacti of varying heights of shapes popped out. “Already made them. A Fine Sands specialty. Usually takes an assload of work to grow a cactus even with my powers so I waited until I got here, but, as you can see, they need a bit more time to get bigger. And I can’t move them right now or I might mess up their growth so I’ll have to poof them near us when they’re done.” She huffed.

“Oooooh, can’t wait to see them fully bloomed. They’ll probably look great, and it’ll fit in well with whatever Tuck has in store. Oh and by the way,”—he pulled out a small cylindrical container from his shirt pocket—“Ellie sent me over with some tea she’s been growing in the garden. She said it’s good for digestion, so uh, tell me now if you’re gonna try killing me with spicy food again.”

Tucker’s face blanked for a moment before he buried it in his hands. “Fuck.”

“Ah, you forgot.” Sam patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just grow something.” She pulled a few seeds from her belt and threw them on the ground a few feet away. With a wave of her hand, she made a small patch of fertile soil and coaxed the seeds under the top layer and with a snap of her fingers a fully grown strawberry bush burst from the ground in an instant. Tucker gaped at the sight before flailing his arms.

“You can grow strawberries here?!” he all but shouted. “Why didn’t I know that?!”

“Because it’s extremely difficult. They hate hot and dry climates. I can do it because—” she waved a hand at her belt with numerous pockets and then gestured at her whole body.

Tucker whined. “Oh come on!” Danny patted the top of his head while Sam plucked the berries and tied them up in the blanket.

“Don’t worry about that right now. Let’s just get going.” Danny scooped Tucker up into his arms to which the man responded by sticking his face in Danny’s shoulder.

“No, just let me die in my shame.”

“Literally impossible, but okay.” Sam gripped the tied up blanket in one arm and threw the other around Danny’s neck. As Danny started floating upwards, his tail curling tight around her waist, Sam added, “Where are we going exactly?”

Tucker finally extricated himself from his shame bubble and gave approximate directions beyond a mountain peak.

“High ho, ghost horse, onward,” Sam said as she hiked herself up further on Danny’s back, wrapping her legs around his semi-wispy waist.

After carefully adjusting his precious cargo for a safer trip, Danny spoke up, “Fast, medium, or flashy?”

“Can’t we just go slow?”

“Not an option today, sorry.”

Tucker groaned. “Fine, medium.”

“You got it, boo.” Tucker groaned louder, but closed his eyes and leaned into the long smooch on his head. “One medium, no flash, coming right up.”

In a little less than half an hour, they touched down on the other side of the island where a large grass field stretched as far as the eye could see. Tucker instructed Danny to put them down by the shade under a large acacia tree.

As Sam set down the blanket and started smoothing down the edges while keeping the strawberries in the center, Danny took the time to really appreciate the landscape.

He hadn’t been to this part of the Fine Sands in a few years since most of the time, the three of them tended to spend time in Danny’s plush, not sand filled castle or Sam’s traveling cabin. Not that Tucker’s palace wasn’t fancy and filled with comfy furniture and fabrics, but the guy himself tended to prefer not being there at all. If it wasn’t for the whole ‘reincarnation of a famous pharaoh’ thing that kept him tied to the island, Danny suspected Tucker would’ve moved in with one of them or switched between their places for the rest of eternity. Not that that was a problem for him, but it meant he and Sam usually didn’t see much of the island despite the many decades they’d spent living in the Infinite Realms.

Now though, Danny could only marvel at the beautiful scenery. The fields of grass lightly swaying in the wind with not a patch of sand in sight. The island’s miniature sun beaming down on the plantlife where it floats in the swirling green sky, providing warmth to all under its rays. The large yet sparse acacia trees in the distance. The… camels?

Danny knew, logically, that there were ghost animals living on the island. He also knew there were a few camels roaming around, but… “Is this every camel in the Fine Sands?” he asked, eyeing the hundred something camels roaming around and enjoying their own meals or simply resting by a small watering hole.

“Every ghost camel,” Tucker corrected before grumbling, “The living camels are all wimps and kept demanding more shit. I mean we don’t even ride them and they roam free wherever they please—”

“How long did it take you to get them all to come here?” Sam grimaced. “How many times did you have to move under the sand?”

Tucker sighed. “Too many times. They were spread out all over. The farmers helped though.” He shook his head. “But that’s not important. Y’know what is important?” He pulled Sam and Danny down to sit on the blanket and splayed himself over their laps with a satisfied grin.

Sam chuckled. “Alright, message received.” She used one hand to run her fingers through his curly black locks and the other to loosely tug Danny to lean on her side before running hands through his glowing white hair as well.

Both boys practically melted against her. Danny hugged her around the waist with one arm and pressed a soft kiss to her neck before nuzzling his face into her shoulder. He reached out with his other hand to intertwine with Tucker’s and squeezed lightly. Tucker used his thumb to rub circles on the back of Danny’s hand and left his free hand to reach for a strawberry and hold it up for Sam to eat.

Sam hummed her thanks before asking about how things have been going for the boys. They kept up the conversation, except for a few pauses from Danny blowing raspberries in Sam’s neck to disagree with her, which resulted in giggles that jostled her hand from Tucker’s hair, which resulted in whining and tugging at Danny’s hand in retaliation. This all went on and on in a cycle of mild annoyance that left the trio laughing loudly and pulling away briefly to recompose themselves before winding around each other again.

The three spent the rest of the day feeding each other strawberries and relaxing under the shade talking about nothing in particular. The camels continued grazing, undisturbed with the nearby picnic date. Eventually, Danny, Sam, and Tucker became a pile of cuddly limbs and fell asleep with full bellies, content smiles, and tangled up with their favorite people.

-

End note!

The cacti didn’t finish growing by the time Danny and Sam needed to get back to their responsibilities, but neither of the boys were hung up about it and Tucker said they could come over for another date when the cacti do bloom.

[natromanxoff]

19 - The Dynamic Duo V Montreux

Hello folks. I was sitting around twiddling my thumbs and I thought I would give the old hard drive a clean up, so before I dump a load of rubbish I thought I'd better answer these before I throw everything in the recycle bin. Let's start with a lady from New Jersey who goes by the name of Dorothy who gave me a very interesting offer for the next time I'm in New York. If you're reading this Dorothy, could you send Jacky your email address so I can reply to you. I've just opened up a "secret" Hotmail account so I can send replies without pestering the lovely Mrs Smith all the time, and to test it I went to the guestbook and picked a few names at random. Maybe I should reply to the irate drummer, but if I do that he'll just reply to me and the girls in the office will miss out on laughing at him as well. Staying with the skin bashers for a mo, Ron Hansen in Madison is a drummer, and said he liked my jokes and reckons Mr Irate uses three sticks, two in his hands and one up his arse (his words not mine). Would I be correct in saying your a Zep fan Ron? Today's question is, "What do you get if you cross a drummer with a roadie?" The answer is a stupid roadie.

Moving on, last time around I mentioned a drink which we consumed in Brazil, and the charming Sonia and Dina informed me it was called Caipirinha, and a pleasant little tipple it was to. Somewhere in Australia there is a lady called Karen who is listening to the Offspring CD non-stop, so I'm gonna have to try and answer her question as she has such great musical tastes, even though she wants to know the..........(flashing lights, fireworks, drum roll) Hoover Salesman Story. ARGHHHH. Its actually a very short tale, and I think it's quiet boring but it seems to have grown in stature over the years, and as always I'm gonna drag it out and start from the first skiing expedition that I ventured on with RT.

Having checked my trendy little biog mag, I reckon the year is 1980, and the dynamic duo are in Montreux putting the finishing touches to Fun in Space and we have a few days off before a tour starts in Zurich when Rog says, "Let's go skiing." He had skied a few times before and was ok at it, but I had never put a pair of skis on in my life. I said, "Lets go, but you ski and I'll just get pissed." He then went on about what a buzz it is and how I would love it, etc. As we were touring soon our American crew had to fly out, so I called up Jim Devenney and told him to come over a couple of days earlier cause we were gonna ski. Jim is a great skier and was on the first flight available and I picked him up at Geneva airport ready for some fun. That night we hit the town and have too many drinks and Rog goes off to bed semi early, while Jim and myself sat out on the jetty of Duckingham Palace with a ghetto blaster, Derek and Clive tapes, and a vat of wine singing disgusting songs at full blast, which must have echoed over to France. Suddenly we hear a French voice screaming at us and we have no idea what he was saying so we carried on goofing around, and the next thing I hear is a huge splash as Devenney falls in.

Let me assure you that a drunk trying to get a drunk out of Lake Geneva is not an easy task, but we succeed and head back to DP and retire to our rooms. I'd just got into bed when I hear a crash and go to investigate, only to find JD had gone in the wrong room and was trying to get into a baby's cot, and getting him out of there was harder than getting him of the lake.

Next day Roger, Dave Richards, his wife Collette, Jim and myself set off to Zermatt, and on arrival we stock up on skis, passes and other skiing paraphernalia (big words now!) Dinner, drinks and off to bed. Next morning we're up and ready to go, and thinking I'll never ski again after this I refuse to waste money on a ski suit, so I wear jeans. My second wrong move, the first was agreeing to go. The hotel owner wouldn't let us leave the hotel without first drinking a couple of Sambuccas, not my idea of a good breakfast, eggs, bacon, tea, toast and Italian liqueurs, but who are we to refuse. Next I've got to try and walk in those godamn boots, and we eventually arrive at the top of the Matterhorn.

The OK skiers, RT and Dave set off on their own, Collette begins a very slow trip down while JD tells me he'll stay and teach me. On go the skis, and down I go, flat on my arse. Up I get and I'm off, for all of about 2ft before I'm down again. This is not any fun. After a couple more tumbles my great mate Jim said, "If you're gonna f*** around I'm going." And thats the last I saw of him all day. Thanks pal. I'm standing there watching people ski and think, "It can't be that hard. If you stand like this, lean like that, you can ski." So I stand and lean in the correct positions and I'm away, screeching down a mountain with only one very small problem, I have no idea how to turn or stop, so as I'm flying past Collette, and she reckons I looked very worried, I yelled for some advice and all she said was, "DIVE." Sound advice, so thats what I do, and by now I'm getting wet. I wait for her and then we set off together, the blind leading the blind, with me diving at the slightest bit of speed or bend in the piste. A million years later we eventually reach the bottom of this awful slope and it's finally over. Wrong. Theres a T-bar to get on so we wait in line till it's our turn. You're supposed to put the bar just under your bum and it drags you up, but I'm 6ft and Collettes about 5ft 5in, so the bar was either in the middle of her back or around my knees, and no one told me not to sit on the f***ing thing and we bounced around for a while until we fell off. I'm now getting really pissed off with all this, "Get me a helicopter," I demanded from Collete. She told me they don't just send them, you have to be hurt. I replied with, "I'll break my f***ing arm but I've gotta get off this mountain." Realising I'm not getting a copter I light a ciggie and ponder.

We agree to split up and go with someone our own height, so I ended up with a great German guy who was really helpful. Once on the T-bar I can see that it goes way up and I would have to ski back down to base camp, and in case you've forgotten, I can't ski, so I said that I was gonna bail out, and jumped off. I then head of in a straight line to the cable car, skis on the shoulder and wading through 3ft of snow in a pair of very heavy and very cold jeans. What seemed like hours of wading I make civilisation and head to the bar for a triple strength coffee and a triple scotch while everyone gawked at me cause I looked like I had a shower fully clothed. Yeah, I wanna do this again.

Dinner that night was great fun for the others cause they got to take the piss out of me. Their day will come. The rest of the nights activities shall remain sealed away, but a good time was had by one and all. The tour went smoothly and I try and put Zermatt behind me, except Collette, still to this day, takes great delight in telling everyone about it, and everytime she says it she makes me look more and more pathetic.

The next winter appears and I'm at home and the phone rings, "CT, wanna go skiing?" To which my reply was nothing like, "Oh I'd love to you fabulous little drummer boy." I can't believe he talked me into it again, but this time we were gonna do things correctly and go to Aviemore in Scotland and take lessons, this was the saving factor in his plan. So once again we pile into the Range Rover and aim north. We split the driving (for a change) and had a good journey up through the snow covered mountains till we get to the resort. A usual night was on the cards, dinner, drinks and bed, then up bright and early for some lessons and a good day on the slopes. This time we've both got the correct outfits so we head off to where our little group of idiot skiers are. We're all standing in a line, with Rog and me at the end, and each person gets to snow-plough a few feet. These clowns have less idea than my first try, and it's also incredibly cold and we've now got icicles hanging off our hair. It's our turn and we both look like olympic champions, but the only thing wrong with getting it right the first time is that the instructor then turns his attentions back to the start of the line. Here I am once again standing on the top of a mountain, freezing cold with two 'things' stuck on the end of a pair of stupid boots, and I inform His Royal Highness that the next trip away involves sand and sun, no excuses, end of argument. RT agreed that this wasn't much fun and thought my idea worth considering.

We finally heard the two magic words, "Lunch Break." We're gone in search of some good HOT food and a nice beaujolais, and we found both. We also found that the hotel bar had an amazing selection of whisky, and we had to try as many as possible. We're now semi pissed and decide that as we're warm we might as well go back to this lesson even though we are very late, and the instructor looked at us and said, "Where have you two been?" Rog came back with "Trying lots of your wonderful scotch's." He was fine with that answer and we carried on trying to learn something, and would you believe by the end of the day I could actually turn and stop.

Back to the hotel for a nap before dinner. Over a very nice meal and a couple of little drinkettes we agree that it's far to cold here and we'll clear off the next day, so into the bar we go with our earlier mission of trying all the scotch's. We were sitting at a table chatting away and cracking jokes with each other and end up talking to the couple on the next table, swapping skiing stories, needless to say mine were very short, and having a bit of a laugh, when the woman said, "What do you two do for a living?" God knows why, but I said; "We're Hoover salesmen." At first they didn't believe us but we both started going on about the difference between domestic and industrial cleaners, uprights, backpack types, ones you pull along the floor. We went on about the different wattage, suction power, the amount of pressure on Axminsters and Wilton carpets, even a couple of car expressions like overhead this and thats. What the hell do we know about vacuum cleaners? But boy are we good at this. After about 30 mins of utter bullshit the subject finally changed and they wished us all the best with our door to door salesmanship and off they went to bed. We then had to reassure each other what we actually did for a living, had some more drinks and tried to work out how we knew so much about cleaners as both of us have spent most of our lives trying to stay well away from them. We spent the drive back to London having a good laugh about the one day we spent in a Scottish ski resort.

Well that's it folks, the story of a small company, R & C Taylor,..... Hoover Salesmen. I did learn to ski quite well, and whilst in Gstadd doing the Shove it album Spike flew out cause he fancied learning to ski, and the fool asked me to teach him. I wasn't much help because everytime he fell over I burst out laughing cause I kept seeing myself in Zermatt, and Spike looked just as worried and stupid as I did.

Before I go I noticed that Jacky had to get her boiler fixed and said for me not to make a comment, but little things like that spark me off and I remembered that when we were recording in the Townhouse Studios I had a little, no a big affair with the studio chef. Every three months Virgin would do a magazine for all their staff, written by all the heads of various departments, airlines, studios, video, shops, films, etc. and they would say what was going on with their particular section. Alan Douglas, who was chief engineer of all Virgin studios wrote who was recording where, and he wrote, "Queen are in studio 4, and Crystal, their main man is stoking the kitchen boiler." I thought that was hilarious, but Jane went ballistic. That's it for now.

Loadsa luv Crystal (Carpet cleaner to the stars)

[broken-endings]

Wonder Woman Reimagined

A friend and I were discussing how best to make Wonder Woman her own hero separate from being the “token big name female hero.”

This conversation started when my friend said no one can name a Wonder Woman villain other than Cheetah. And they weren’t wrong. I had to look it up to even be like “oh yeah, i know Ares” etc. et.c

PSA: I myself am not well read on Wonder Woman and my only knowledge stems from the cartoons I’ve seen her in, Justice League, Young Justice, etc. with a smidgen of reading teen team books pre-52. Not sure about my friend’s level of knowledge.

BUT

I wanted to save our discussion for dexterity.

It all started with my linking Dresden Codak’s reimagining of the Justice League because I like his take and redesign on Wonder Woman

(Link)

TLDR for the link; Diana is a living statue, a golem, brought to life by the women of Themyscira to watch over the island. She has immense strength and durability and wields weapons of the Greek gods.

Enter our takes: (literally just gonna copy our text conversation here) T=Them, M=Me

T: I actually agree with his thinking: she’s too grounded in just being “female hero.” Making her more of a construct that is an aspect of femininity, and also just living stone is great; I always wanted her powers and villains to be more mythical: she has an array of magical items that help her fight, and all her villains are supernatural in theme. Make her the anchor for all things supernatural in the league.

M: Like supernatural creatures/beings but no the straight up magic part of the supernatural? Taking all her adventures and obstacles out of folklore as well as myth? Minus straight up spell-casting. Lean into her interactions with Ares and Apollo but throw in more individuals from Greek and world mythology.

T: Actually, yeah. She’s not a spell-caster herself. Just very good at fighting the monsters that lurk in the shadows, and also keeping the myths as just that, myths. WAIT: what if part of her construction as a golem made her immune or partially immune to magical attacks and mind control?

M: What if every region’s gods and goddesses from every age was like that century’s Justice League and supervillains for that era? So the Greek pantheon were the superheroes of that time, ancient Egyptian gods were in their time, and so forth?

T: You actually hit something. Supposedly in the JL movie Snyder cut he does go on about the old gods protecting earth like the league does now.

M: so Wonder Woman is a surviving superhero from an old superhero team from centuries ago and even more so than Captain America is totally out of her element due to the advance of time?

T: I really really really like that idea of her being the team’s experienced member.

M: That is the exact angle that all Wonder Woman mythos should go in on. And she’d be indestructible physically but perhaps have less offensive power than currently. So she’s the tank.

T: So a tank, with basically a perfect recall memory who remembers all of history and has experienced so much. She also desperately wants to connect with humans again after sleeping for so long? Wait, what if she locked herself away because she’s haunted by memories of all her friends dying?

M: Yep. And being immortal makes it even harder to relate to humans. Perhaps it was easier when she was new and learning about basic knowledge of the world.  That sounds like good backstory too.

T: What if she was the cynical voice to foil the idealism of Superman? Like, Superman won’t kill, but Wonder Woman will in a heartbeat because she’s seen this over and over and is jaded?

M: Absolutely. Practicality and experience. She learned from too many mistakes that some villains cannot be contained. She would logically weigh the power levels of a criminal against the risk they pose based on their character. She knows mercy and compassion and the respect for life BUT She would be in the school of thought “I respect the lives of too many people to not take the life of one who would willfully endanger them and had the power to do so.”

T: That is a perfect summation

M: “There is a point of no return when a rabid dog can no longer be saved.”

T: I always wanted to give her a sidekick character. Like, she’s old, jaded, and probably carrying a millennia of outdated moral views. Give her a young open-minded partner from a vastly different walk of life. I was thinking the Brazilian Fire.

M: As in just “Fire?” Though there is a wonder girl who got her powers from Ares. And Troia. But Troia needs a new backstory too.

T: I wanted a character with no real thematic ties to Wonder Woman, so that would include a vastly different power set. Going dor the buddy dynamic of opposites attract. Where Wonder Woman is a tank, Fire is pure DPS.

M: But isn’t Fire a Leaguer? I’d look at the young heroes from Titans or Young Justice. Like Ravager. Or even more obscure, Secret or Empress from the original Young Justice book.

TBC...?

[misterbitches]

i live in a universe where if i were to walk down the street i could get murdered willy nilly cos im black but men are out here going around being like “my boyfriend and i met when he was a junior in high school” i don’t believe in jail and i try not to make jail jokes but HOW IS THAT FAIR? JAIL!!! GUILLOTINE!!!! GET THIS MAN A RETIREMENT FUND AND A THERAPIST

that dialogue was fucking embarrassing. he shoulda just said “im 12 yrs older than him” no one needs to know u were 30 dating a 17 year old u insecure freak. retire bitch and get away from her

 i wanted muren so badly to be like “LMAO SRY didnt mean to seem surprised i just like men my own age i guess?” i wouldnt have even apologized if i was surprised. my friend was dating someone ten yrs younger than him and i made fun of him for it and he was like “i know” bc he does know.

just a tip: i don’t like getting hit on by men way older than me, a lot of people don’t. i’ve had men who are 36 interested in me when i was 23, and i reciprocated, but now as i am 29 and older i realize how much it confused me and how i didn’t like it.

age gaps are what they are. ther’es many times i do not like it especially if it is a pattern (this is what happens in tv shows and movies and the opposite of that isn’t gay age gaps or power imbalances or women much older than a younger man ok that’s not progress it’s just peopl ewanting to be like cis men and no one wants that) and esp if the person’s peers are all their ages. people seem to forget that we travel in the same social circles on purpose due to our environments and also our world experiences. the only way to meet an older man is outside of school and yet adults can’t seem to control themselves?

i saw this person who was one of the editors of sexual hegemony (a book on capitalism and homophobic laws and sex basically idk google it it’s interesting) and he was trying to have a foucultian outlook (i hate focault btw doesn’t mean what he says wasnt interesting but it does mean i am not okay with psychosexual philosophers who take advantage of people. the only testament against him having reltaions with younger people is a bunch of young people i nfucking tunisia and there’s an excuse that he wasn’t a fucking pedophile he was those ebebebbeopopopo people and it doesnt matter when ur in fucking tunisia as a white french algerian fucking preying on children) how age of consent laws desexualize younger people. they were passed for  abunch of reasons like any law but here is the thing

we have no business in being in spaces to determine children’s sexual identity and teenagers in their own realm. THEY need to figure it out. our job as adults is to PROTECT THEM full stop. not intrude on their lfe and not give them the tools to decide for themselves. age of consent laws are meant to protect not to facilitate children against some boogeyman of sex. the issue is the way our society views it but young people are sexual AS YOUNG PEOPLE. it has NOTHING to do with adults and it shouldn’t. that’s why it is extra fucking intrusive when you are literally wedged into someone’s life who you have no business being around. it’s only by fucking circumstance. it’s abysmal and not cute. 

what this tells me is that the age gap is salacious. not in the way that i was 23 and a man was 36. in the way that he was 17 and this dude was 29. that’s interesting right? it’s “oooh” and it means we shouldn’t balk at it. saying 12 years would have sufficed, raises some eyebrows, and we can figure out the dynamics after but you just had to put that in BECAUSE YOU FUCKING LIKE IT but the thing is there’s no part of it that was fun. i’m just going to assume you like fucking teenagers bc that’s what it’s telling me lmao

i rarely talk about this couple but to put them in my eyeballs and then have that stupid conversation it was insulting lmao god please get a fucking script supervisor fuck but none of them care about sotry or any of what i fucking laid out. how stupid and careless and just unfun. i don’t like it. also ew at the idea of 2 tops and 2 bottoms talking oh my god i am gonna give myself a heart attack i’m already so fucking anxious i have to see my family lemme chill

im 29 and feel bad having a crush on a 23 year old CELEBRITY ok and i SHOULD feel ashamed and it’s not even a big deal that’s how everyone should approach life tbqh u walk around like ur 100 yrs old to avoid children. oh what’s that this korean cebrity learned english and moved to america to start a family with me and i find him very hot and i like his voice but we’re 6 years apart i’m not sure if i would work (how fun of a drama would that be. pointless and ridiculous. i love it.)

oh there’s a great review on CMBYN and its history and how the isolation and seeclusion was so fuckign capitalist bougie patriarchy and yea idk if anyone is interested. i think it’s ironic the ending for the people in CMBYN irl bc it’s just. so indicative of this shit. i dont like guadignino (idk is that how u spell his name) and think he’s not a great....person or director (i love the look of suspiria tho likke visually and edited. the DP was thai btw! he did an amazing job!!!) but it critiques this film from a perspective of someone who clearly at least cares about artistry, no matter how poorly i think he executes it, and just how hollow it is. the thing about “escapism” is that it relies on the harsh realities of the world to make it opposite, everything has context, nothing is apolitical. to make something that exists in a vacuum is negligent and it doesn’t help you escape it makes you even more tied to this world and its flaws because it doesn’t do anything to mitigate it.

people view it as like “we can put something stupid on screen and people have to accept it in this world” but that isn’t how IT WORKS. you hvae to build up the stakes of the world. but i can’t see introducing some “taboo” (see: stupid) elements and pretending the escapism is seeing this and allowing it. how could it be when the problem is the nature of the rship itself? what world are you taking us to? and why does this world ignore the pressing realities? and i wouldnt say either of these are explicit escapism (i think i hate that word now) becuase um they arent. this fantastical generally rich people escapism isn’t about bending things that don’t work to mold it into our society because WE DO THAT ALREADY it’s about taking those things and twisting them to something we can accept and like or something that has real consequences for people. it’s so funny how marketing and the idea of pc culture and shit and conservative ideology seeps into these. they have  an explicit interest in holding the status quou of taking advantage of people and using their power; age is a huge structure to do so. in this society when we struggle why would its existence not be challenged? because rape, ridiculous rships, abusive rships, torture etc is a power move, conservatives rest on it and people who gain power. what about that is appealing? making it gay? well, no. especially because men DO have power. 

every fucking thing in BL is a reflection of of patriarchy honestly. i can admit that and i’m not okay with it but it’s consumption. there’s a way to make this decent or entertaining without it being so fucking poorly done. and atp i dont even want to call things bl it’s a tv show just bc it’s for a certain audience doesnt mean anything do better idiots

[aion-rsa]

What We Do in the Shadows Season 3: Harvey Guillén Wants Buffy to Train Guillermo

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This article contains spoilers for What We Do in the Shadows season 3 episode 3.

Things have changed for the Staten Island vampires on What We Do in the Shadows season 3 as they step into positions of power. This may not make much of a difference for Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch), whose new job as secretary of the Vampiric Council, is much like his fake job, at a cubicle in an office. But Laszlo (Matt Berry) may spend a little more in the potting shed. His love Nadja (Natasia Demetriou), is running the council, along with Nandor (Kayvan Novak), who’s familiar, Guillermo (Harvey Guillén), has been promoted to the position of bodyguard. It was easier than killing him.

Based on the 2014 feature film by Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi, What We Do in the Shadows follows four vampires, who have been roommates for longer than anyone cares to remember, as they cope with life in the modern world. Which is not held up on the shoulders of four horses.

Nandor the Relentless was a fierce and terrible Ottoman warrior, known for pillaging villages and turning the Euphrates red with blood. Guillermo worked at Panera Bread. The bond that ties vampire to familiar is a strange one. The pay isn’t great, the hours are daunting, and they don’t get employee-of-the-month plaques. The only real incentive is the promise of everlasting life as a ravenous bloodsucking fiend, and there is something of a hiring freeze at the moment.

British Iranian actor and voice artist Kayvan Novak co-created and starred in the British prank show, Fonejacker, and also can be seen alongside Matt Damon and George Clooney in Syriana, as well as the films Cuban Fury and the Walt Disney live action remake of Cruella. He plays three different characters in Men in Black: International. Harvey Guillén acted in the movies The Internship and in Netflix’s Truth or Dare, and his TV works include The Magicians, and Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist. He earned a GLAAD Media Award his role in the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Me What to Do” episode of Raising Hope, and made LGBTQ+ Latinx history by becoming the first queer Latinx actor to be nominated for Best Supporting Actor at the Critics’ Choice Award for his role as Guillermo de la Cruz. Starting Sept. 2, Guillén will also host After the Shadows, a new talk show following and discussing What We Do in the Shadows.

Novak and Guillén hovered over Den of Geek to speak about Nandor and Guillermo’s new job descriptions, as well as old habits, cloaks of many voices, and Van Helsing DNA.

Den of Geek: I wanted to congratulate you on your characters’ new duties. Is it more fun running vampires or running from them?

Kayvan Novak: Has Nandor run from a vampire? I guess I have. I think they’re equally as exhilarating and frightening.

Harvey Guillén: I would say fighting the vampires is exciting with all the combat when that opportunity comes up. Yeah.

Guillermo took out the entire local vampire command, but couldn’t stake a vampire council docent. Is Guillermo getting soft?

Guillén: I don’t think he’s getting soft. I think the only reason that he even put himself in that scenario is because he knew that his old housemates, because remember he moved out of the house, his old housemates were in danger. I think at the end of the day we forget that he had mostly only humans in the house. And you know, what separates us from everything else in the world is that humans are driven by emotion and have a conscience and have a heart. So he couldn’t live with himself, if he knew that they were set up by the Vampiric Council to be eliminated at this theater. That’s the only reason he goes and saves his chosen family. Even though they’re total assholes to him, he is still loyal at the end of the day. He’s still loyal to these four vampires, especially Nandor. I think that he’s not getting soft. He’s just starting to see what’s important to him and what’s worth fighting for.

Did the “Cloak of Duplication” episode come up because you were already doing the impressions?

Novak: I guess the writers had an idea. They had a sense that I was a bit of a mimic and I liked doing impersonations. And I think they decided to kind of craft an episode around that. I was slightly apprehensive of the number of impressions that they thought I could do considering I had to do all of my castmates who, although I could do impressions of some of them, I’d never done it to their faces. So it was a new challenge. Not only to learn very quickly how to impersonate them with their help, because they helped me along the way, and they told me how to deliver some of the lines. But then having to do that in front of them, it took some concentration.

Whose voice was the easiest?

Novak: I guess the easiest, or the one that I had done was Colin Robinson. Because he’s got a very specific [voice]. It’s kind of the closest to mine in a way. And the rhythms of it, very specific. Nadja’s voice and Kristen [Schaal]’s voice, I couldn’t actually do. I can only kind of do their physicality. So, the voices you hear are not my voice. They’re the voices of the actual actors. Guillermo’s voice, Guillermo’s delivery, that took a minute to kind of get into that groove. And then Matt Berry, Laszlo’s character, I’d never really tried an impression of him. And it was really more the physicality that I got into to deliver those lines in that rhythm, that really was the key in. Because you’re always trying to find the key in.

Harvey, what was it like hearing Guillermo come out of Novak’s throat?

Guillén: It was great. Because I’ve seen Kayvan do impersonations of everyone, he’s a master. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do me in a full scene. Like he would make a good joke or mimic me and say, “Yeah, yeah, now my friend,” and he does like a caricature of my voice, which is always fun, but yeah, “you’re my best buddy,” that’s like an ongoing joke on set that he always does. But to really kind of do it and kind of really capture Guillermo’s inflections and the volume where he placed him. I was like, oh my gosh, this is great. I was in awe. Like I was like, this is great. I had to do a double take, like that’s not me. That’s wait. That’s not me. Okay.

Blade, Buffy, the Frog brothers, and now Guillermo. Guillermo is the descendant of the greatest Slayer of all slayers. Is this nepotism?

Guillén: I don’t know if it’s nepotism because I don’t think he’s gotten anything handed to him. And he’s worked really hard for everything he has, and even now being the descendant of Van Helsing, it’s still not easy. Now, it comes with another wagon full of problems and choices to be made and predicaments that he now has with his housemates. But I would love to see some of those legendary slayers and chosen ones make an appearance and guide him, maybe help him out. Maybe Buffy pops in and says, I’ll show you how it’s done. That’d be great. Or Blade comes back, Wesley Snipes comes back. We’ve already had him. Who knows? But yeah, I would love to see someone show him the ropes or take them under their wing or, he’s learning by trial and error. And I think so far he’s doing okay. So maybe he’s a self-made Slayer in his own way.

When Nandor and Nadja were introducing themselves to the rogue vampires, you are each soloing, but hitting the beats at the same time. Can you just walk me through the rehearsal of the timing?

Novak: I think to really nail a scene like that, we’re both kind of focused on the direction of, I think Yana Gorskaya directed that scene. And that was just a case of us kind of working together, but also allowing her to kind of pull us through the scene to make sure that we hit those marks perfectly. It took some practice, took a few takes, took rehearsal, but you always know you’re going to get it. And you know that if you’ve got to get something that’s a bit of a challenge to get to, you want to be in the right company. And, and thankfully, we are because we’re in each other’s company.

Harvey, when you interject objections and you break and you look at the camera, they’re like hi-hat taps, are these scripted or are you doing it strictly on an intuitive basis?

Guillén: No, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it scripted for Guillermo that he looks at the camera. I think we do, as we do a rehearsal and we have our DP and our director follow us through rehearsal and whatever feels organic in the moment, there has to be an organic beat. Right? So, if it’s, most of the time it is Guillermo, because he’s the only human in the room, aside from the camera crew. And so, when he looks at the camera crew, it’s like, oh God, you’re going to film this, aren’t you? And the camera catches that moment. And it zooms into it. It’s like, you’re not, oh no, it’s incriminating. And so, as you connect with another human. Did you hear what he said? Or did you, I can’t believe they’re talking like this because who are you going to connect with the vampires who live in their own world of lust and pleasure and feeding. They don’t care, they’re immortal, but the humans in the room are like, we can go to jail at any moment for a lot of these things. I can get in trouble myself.

So, most of the time, when Guillermo looks at the camera, it’s either out of fear or it’s either like I’m smarter than them and you see that, right? So it’s like you saw that, right? But he can never say it. So he can’t verbally say what he’s feeling. So, their face does it all for you to the camera.

Did Guillermo and Nandor meet at Panera Bread?

Guillén: We talked about this. I think the idea that, if he was working at Panera Bread, it must have been shortly after high school or something. And somewhere along the lines, he must’ve met Nandor, he must’ve come in when Panera was closing and maybe tried to feast on him? Maybe, I don’t know. The backstory I gave myself was, he convinced Nandor not to feast on him and kill him, but to service him in return to become a vampire. That’s the backstory I gave myself. But Kayvan, what do you think?

Novak: I think whatever happened there’s CCTV footage of it-

Guillén: Somewhere. Yeah.

Novak: And I think that would be the best way of revisiting that because, if they didn’t have a documentary crew following them, then they’re relying on kind of just, incidental cameras, capturing stuff. I think it would be cool.

Guillén: I think that’s cool. Yeah.

Nandor is 758 years old, and going through an eternal life crisis. Is he becoming too Americanized or does Nadja have a point about there not being anything more to existence than just slaughter?

Novak: It’s a funny one because he’s been around so long, you’re supposed to eventually just blend into your environment and be taken over by and become an American or become a Staten Islander. And for some reason they live in such an insular world that they resisted this. But now for some reason, whether it be an emotional light that’s gone off in his head, he’s decided that no, he wants to humanize himself more and, yeah, be more like the people that he kills, almost. The world that he feeds off. He wants to be part of that. And I think, Nadja, she’s the cynic she’s like, stop dreaming. Stop. You know, there’s always that person that’s like, yeah, you could do that. But there’s lots of people that want to do that too, you know? And you’re like, oh, you’re right. I better not waste my time chasing pipe dreams. There’s always that person in the room and that person, for Nandor, is Nadja.

What’s it like to act against Nadja’s doll?

Guillén: Such a diva. Yeah. Difficult. Late to set. She always has to be carried. I don’t know if it’s in her rider, but the doll has to be carried by two, like men-

Novak: Dressed in green.

Guillén: Dressed in green. Yeah.

Novak: I actually did have to do a couple of scenes where there’s a montage sequence with me and the doll and we actually got onto some really funny stuff. I was teaching her sword fighting, a bit of a spoiler, but it’s very quick. I don’t know if it made it in but I was teaching her sword fighting and then I was like, well, we might as well have a sword fight. And then she disarms me and then she chases after me and I run. But I don’t know if that made it in the cut. I just decided that would have been a funny thing to do. To be disarmed by this doll. I think Nandor has a soft spot for the doll. Obviously, it’s a cool bit of special effects that’s for sure. It’s awesome.

What will you be getting Colin Robinson for his hundredth birthday?

Novak: A new contract. You know, his management team has been slacking.

I was talking with Mark Proksch about the physical comedy and Harvey, yours is particularly perilous. What’s the choreography prep like and making those fight scenes hit their funny marks?

Guillén: Well, I think physical comedy is just as good as you know, anything we do, so I mean, a lot of us do physical comedy in the show, but you never see Guillermo really in motion to do physical comedy most of the time it’s because he’s always so put together. So even with the combat and fighting, the note that Jermaine gave me for the finale was, Harvey doesn’t know he’s been at this. All right. So he doesn’t know what’s happening. So it was more of an idea that his face is like “what’s happening?,” But his hands were coordinated and bad-ass, and that’s the way I’ve been playing him. And now that he’s coming into his own, now he’s more relaxed into his own power of Van Helsing. But it’s also funny. It’s just funny to see someone who’s like a baby duck, like learning to walk for the first time. It’s like he’s trying. And you know, so that physical comedy comes in hand.

Kayvan, can you tell me what it was like working against Aida Turturro and learning to love after, after 37 wives?

Novak: Aida was a riot, from day one. She was a fan of the show, which is always wonderful and incredibly flattering. She was so into the show, she was so into the world and into us as performers. And I think that just, she had so much fun when she was there and we had some intimate scenes. The first time you see us, she’s on her back and I’m on top of her. And that’s quite an introduction. But she just went with it, you know? And it was just a lot of fun, a lot of fun with her and yeah, we just spoke to her today actually, and she was singing the show’s praises again. And she’s genuinely so excited. She’s not keeping her cool or trying not to be a fangirl about it. She was just super enthusiastic to be there. And you feed off that. You love that.

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What We Do in the Shadows airs Thursdays at 10:00 p.m. on FX.

The post What We Do in the Shadows Season 3: Harvey Guillén Wants Buffy to Train Guillermo appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3niKJN3

[yamujiburo]

tagged by @queenof-evil-blogging

Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions!  Don’t look at them first. Then tag some people.

Pokemon

Jimmy Neutron

The Amazing World of Gumball

Steven universe

My Little Pony

Who is your favorite character in 2? 

Carl Wheezer!!! My boy!!! Most people either love or hate Carl and Sheen but they were the best part of the show for me. I like how he’s kinda the nerdy trope but actually not (he’s really dumb). The voice acting for him is A+, the gags with him are my FAVORITE (“that’s not mine...” “that’s not me”). God I love him

who is your least favorite character in 1? 

Oh god there’s so many characters in Pokémon. I didn’t really like Paul much. He’s a good character/rival and serves his purpose in the show but uh yeah didn’t really like him.

what is your favorite episode of 4? 

THERE’S TOO MANY GOOD SU EPISODES!! The one I go to the most though is Rose’s Scabbard. Such a beautifully sad episode where we learn about Pearl’s relationship with Rose. Plus UGH the music at the end makes me cry every time.

what is your favorite season of 5? 

Season 4 for SURE. Season 4 is when I jumped into MLP (yeah after the alicorn stuff). That felt like peak MLP to me. They hit their stride with the writing, the characters were well established but there were new challenges they had to face with Twilight being a princess and all (plus it was before the started catering more to their male audience). It’s also just very nostalgic for me being that it was the first season I kinda watched while being in the fandom.

who is your favorite couple in 3? 

Ooof hmm. TAWoG doesn’t reaaaally focus on ships all that much. I thoroughly enjoy Gumball and Penny’s relationship, and Carrie and Darwin are cute as hell. But I think I gotta Go with Nicole and Richard, especially after watching “The Choices”. I hate when shows portray marriages as awful and like the worst possible scenario. They make jokes about it but Nicole and Richard genuinely care for each other. I always think about the part in “The Fury” when Nicole is sad but Richard cheers her up in his own goofy way. So cute ;0;

what is your favorite episode of 1? 

I,,, have watched,,, Pokemon XY63 so many times you would not believe.  It’s a Jessie episode (obviously). Seeing her fall for this doctor and do a complete 180 in character was so funny but also gives insight into how desperately she just wants domesticity and to be loved. Seeing James and Meowth be supportive of her choice and letting her go hurts so gooood and the little sprinkled in “twerps offering to help jessie plan her wedding” was wholesome. 

I know I can only pick one but HHHHHH SAYONARA DOKUCALE MESSED ME UP. It was one of the first Pokémon episodes I had ever seen and I distinctly remember watching it in my Uncle and Aunt’s living room and SOBBING. Jessie backstory, a twerp truce AND a bitter sweet ending. GOOD STUUUUFFF

what is your favorite episode of 5? 

I always come back to Rarity Takes Manehattan (rarity’s my favorite fyi haha). I love love loved the songs, Suri Polomare for no reason is so funny to me LMAOOO. Rarity episodes where she has a creative breakdown, which is most of them, are super relatable haha. There was so much fun Tabitha St Germain acting and great animation. It’s not the most well written episode of MLP but I still very much enjoy it.

what is your favorite season of 2? 

This is really difficult bc Jimmy Neutron is just so consistent all the way through. I looked at a list of episodes and most of my favorites are in S2 so I guess that one! I remember watching a lot of these with my brother.

how long have you watched 1?

I’d seen episodes of Pokémon since like the early 2000s but didn’t start watching regularly until DP when me and my brother finally convinced our parents to let us watch it. I feel like we got into it around 2007/2008?

how did you become interested in 3? 

Oh god everything about it interested me! Gumball came out RIGHT when I was starting to seriously pursue animation as a career. So, the animation/mishmash of animation styles initially hooked me right away. But then the WRITING. Oh the WRITING is what kept me coming back. It was so smart and snappy and it greatly shaped my sense of humor.

who is your favorite actor in 4? 

SUSAN EGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!! Literally the whole cast is incredible but Susan Egan’s voice is just,,,, WHEW!!!

which do you prefer: 1, 2, or 5?

This is the hardest question I’ve ever had to answer. I love each of these shows for such different reasons. But if I were put in a scenario where someone said “i’m gonna show you a random episode from one of these shows, which do you wanna watch?” I would pick Jimmy Neutron hands down.

if you could be anyone from 4, who would it be? 

I would be Sapphire I think. Just like vibing w my wife as a fusion sounds p dope.

would a crossover between 3 and 4 work? 

Well 4 did a crossover with Uncle Grandpa so yes absolutely. Plus Gumball is so meta anyways, it would work with generally anything.

pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple?  

delia,,,, and,,,,, jessie

overall, which show has the best storyline: 3 or 5?

MLP for sure! Gumball is super episodic and started having continuity by the later seasons (and the storyline they were gonna have got CANCELLED so!!!!)

which has better theme music: 2 or 4? 

Jimmy Neutron is a classic but the fact that there is a full theme for SU and it made me cry when it was released at ComicCon is making me want to say SU lol.

I TAG YOU IF YOU SEE THIS!!!

[robthomissed]

Blues vs. Sharks Game 8 (5-2)

This Season: 16-10-5 Against San Jose: 5-2-1

We had a great game tonight. Wasn't perfect but we were able to stifle the Sharks off the rush which is huge. So many guys had great games and stepped up when we needed them. Ville was solid after that first goal and I love that for him.

Toofless interview during the pregame so starting off strong

....and Bozie is back out. concussions are tricky so hopefully, this isn't a major set back

First Period

come on Ville you gotta cover that one my guy but i guess credit to the sharks for sticking to it

VINCE!!!! that's it bud, shoot the puck and good things happen

THAT'S IT ROUZY!!! go to the net and good things happen. Also goos on O'Ry for staying onside and then making a good play with the puck on the play

uugh guys you had a two on one, stop passing it

by the way there are too many guys with numbers in the twenties on our team. i never know who it is cause all i see is a two on the sweaters

that would have been a nice goal but sammy was offside

Ville playing the puck makes me a little nervous tbh

oh we got away with a trip there

alright good pk boys

oh gosh Vince please stay on your feet

i need our guys to carry the puck towards the net with authority and stop trying to make these fancy little drop passes in tight quarters

okay good job getting out of this period with the lead but we need to be ready for some major push back from the sharks in the second

Second Period

i need more from DP right now. i just want to see him hustle to pucks a little more

oh dear goodness please be okay Torey

bless you Ville that was an awful drop pass which lead to an odd man break

Jaden is on the ground again....never change babe

we got away with another trip there it looks like

Panger please never say the phrase "he crunched the pickle" again

oh god how did that not go in thank you Ville

Vince is standing still, alone, in front of our net and that makes me mad

hertle should never be that wide open dear lord

okay i like how much we are shooting on this pp but they need to be on net. they have all been way high

we have forgotten how to pass the puck cleanly

DP got away with some interference there

Jaden fell down again...

something about Evander Kane annoys me greatly. he didn't do anything in particular but i felt the need to mention it

DP is so mad. he is very frustrated and i like that but i just want him to do something productive with it

"Schwartz is knocked down" yep that sounds about right

love Sammy winning puck battles

Ville with a great save

Walker will just pin someone to the boards and just hold them there and it's awesome

DP move your feet bud. you are gliding into the defensive zone

"Dunn caught in no man's land" second time we have heard that in as many nights although this time it doesn't result in a goal

Third Period

Rou you had a partial break bud. don't wait for help just take it to the net and shoot

Walman is having a really good game

oh god the noise i made when Ville misplayed that puck. we got so lucky

DP i know you have to be tired after last night but i need you to have some hunger for the puck

i have never seen a faceoff violation bench minor. i didn't even know that was a thing

THAT'S IT O'RY!!! also good play by DP to get him the puck

you're right Panger, Vince has had a solid game. i am just noticing his mistakes because i am watching him more closely these days

good job playing through that check Vince

good to see Jaden doing that thing where he chips a puck in and then squeeze himself past the defense along the boards to go in after it. it's a special talent of his and i love it

De La Rose is having a pretty good game considering he has been out for a while

Torey has such a bad habit of trying to clear the puck up the middle of the ice and i respectfully ask him to stop

YES ROUZY!!! GOING TO THE NET AGAIN. O'Ry's line has been doing great work tonight

i hate empty net

good for DP getting that goal. even if it was an empty net. should give him a little confidence even though he had a few assists tonight

A thought i had during this game but didn't want to voice in case i jinxed it: either we have gotten so much better in terms of holding and hooking or they decided that calling things like that was unsustainable. i kinda don't care because i am just happy we aren't on the pk as much

[maknaesdancersrappers]

kinkmas2019: for old times’ sake

member/s: Johnny & Jaehyun

warning/s: DP, triolism, & cuckold

wc:  4.4k

a/n: i just wanna tell everyone to read and give love to chocojaehyun’s philophobia uwu

“Honey.”

You look up from folding the laundry fresh from the dryer and wait for your husband appear from the open door. In a few seconds, he peeks in and smiles at you.

“Honey, would you mind if a friend stays over for a few days?”

“I’d have to clean up the guest room, but I don’t mind. Which friend of yours is staying over?”

Johnny walks over and sits beside you, picking up a shirt and began to fold it. You smile to yourself, although you didn’t mind doing chores, he still wanted to help you with them. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you about him. He’s my best friend from Korea, met him during middle school. Man, we were inseparable until high school graduation.”

“And then you moved away.” You finished for him and he sighed with a nod.

“Yeah. We kept in contact and all, I even wanted to invite him to our wedding, but times were rough for him back then.” He frowns for a moment, “He has a job opportunity here and he doesn’t want to look into buying an apartment if he isn’t sure about getting the job. You’ll love him, honey. He’s great company.”

You hummed, moving onto the next basket of laundry that needed folding, “What’s his name?”

“Jaehyun.”

“And he ended up in the hospital because of those 4 extra shots of espresso!”

You gasped, trying to stop yourself from laughing; especially not at the fact your husband could have died way back, “You are not allowed to have anymore coffee, Johnny!”

“That was years ago! And I don’t even put a single extra shot of espresso in my coffee anymore!” He whines before smacking Jaehyun’s shoulder with the back of his hand, “Of all the stories, really?”

Jaehyun merely chuckles, taking a sip from the coffee you prepared for him. His flight arrived at night and Johnny picked him up from the airport. When they arrived home, it was around two in the morning and you had fallen back asleep despite promising to stay awake for when they came back. 

You woke up early to prepare a complete breakfast, not sure if he had any food allergies so you made sure to even add vegetarian and vegan options. Fortunately, Jaehyun wasn’t a picky eater. Johnny introduced you when they woke up from the smell of freshly brewed coffee and Jaehyun’s been gossiping about Johnny’s high school life with you for the past hour.

“Johnny already told me how you two met, but I want to hear your side of the story. Is it true you kept going back to the cafe you saw him at?”

You scoffed in disbelief, darting your eyes at Johnny, who suddenly took immense interest in finding the berries in his oatmeal. “Is that what he told you? Because in my memory, I was the regular at the cafe and it was him that kept coming back. And I know the baristas can back me up on it.”

Jaehyun snorts, “I knew you made it sound too good to be true.”

Johnny rolls his eyes, “Either way! We met at a cafe, I asked her out, and here we are three years later.”

“How about you, Jaehyun? Do you have anyone in your life?”

He dramatically sighs, prompting Johnny to snicker. He shakes his head at you, “No, I don’t. I’m not into committed relationships.”

Your husband leans closer to you and loudly whispers, “This guy sleeps around; you know how it goes, that whole fuck boy trope.”

“Ya!” Jaehyun scolds, “That was high school! I’ve changed. Give me some credit!”

The three of you finished breakfast and Jaehyun insists he does the dishes, but you refuse, “Not today. I’m sure you’re still tired from your flight and this just routine for me; it might take awhile for me to get used to a third person in the house.”

You hadn’t meant to be a housewife, but ever since you got laid off from work from months ago, you hadn’t found another one and Johnny thought it would be best you rest for a bit instead of going through multiple rejections. You were glad that you had saved up a lot of your money to not worry about paying for your share of the bills.

“Don’t argue with her,” Johnny conspires behind Jaehyun, “Her house, her rules.”

They let you do your chores; Johnny gets ready for his work and Jaehyun keeps to himself in his room, probably unpacking and catching a few more hours of sleep before he leaves before lunchtime for the interview.

For the next days, it almost feels like he wasn’t there at all. You only ever interacted with him when Johnny was around. 

One night, as Johnny cuddled you to sleep, you meekly asked him about how Jaehyun felt about you.

“I think he’s just keeping his distance; you’re my wife and all.”

“What’s that’s supposed to mean?”

Johnny shrugs, “Well… I never told you but,”

“Oh my god, you two fucked before, didn’t you?”

He starts laughing, “No! Well—”

You gasped, prying your arms away and turning to face him, “I never knew you were gay!”

“I’m not! Honey, listen to me for a second, alright? Jaehyun and I used to… share…”

The room is dead silent; even the soft music from Jaehyun’s room across the hall could be heard through the walls. You blinked at him, “Share… girls…?”

“Don’t say it like that; you make it sound like we’re objectifying women. I mean, we participated in a lot of… threesomes.”

“Oh.” You feel yourself sinking back into the bed.

Johnny sighs, moving you back around to spoon you. His breath is right in your ear when he starts to explain, “I didn’t really tell you about him because then I’d feel compelled to tell you about everything we did and I don’t know how you’d feel about that.”

“Your past doesn’t define you, baby,” You comforted, “And so what if you were into threesomes? People have different things that get you off.”

“Yeah. Now only you get me off.” He playfully bites your earlobe and you laughed, shying away from the action.

“I’m surprised you had girls agreeing to sleep with both of the same time.”

“It’s ‘cause…” Johnny trails off, “Those girls were… uhm, our exes.”

You turned your head to face him, “What?”

He groans, dragging his hand over his face, “We’d convinced our then-girlfriends into having the other join, sometimes we’d just watch and—”

“Jack off in the corner?” You finished for him with a surprised hitch in your voice. You never thought your husband was into that; he gets jealous when someone from your old work was too buddy with you and he was solely devoted to you, never giving you reason to suspect him for cheating. Yet here you are finding out he lets his best friend sleep with his girlfriends with or without him in the equation. You gasp, slow and softly, “Do you want him to fuck me?”

“W-wha— what? N-no?”

“Then why did your dick twitch against my ass when I asked that?” You sit up once more and stared him down, “Johnny, honesty doesn’t hurt.”

“I don’t want you to think that the idea is so appealing that you’ll force yourself to consider it.”

You suck your lips in and released it with a pop, “Okay, but what if… I’m curious?”

“Really?” He sits up as well, “Honey, I swear you don’t have to say these things for me.”

“No, I’m genuinely curious!” You defended, “I wasn’t very sexually adventurous—and you know that.”

Johnny puts his hands over yours, running his thumb over your knuckles. He’s deep in thought; contemplating the idea until you leaned forward and kissed his cheek, catching him off guard.

“Unless, you don’t want me to, then that’s fine.”

“It’s just,” He licks his lips, “I don’t know how Jaehyun would feel about it. Sure, we did it back then, but that was different. Those were girlfriends, y-you’re my wife.”

“Well, it’s your call, love.” You sighed, grinning as you suddenly straddled his lap and he stares up at you with wide eyes, “Now, let’s take care of that boner you got, hm?”

You were setting the table when Johnny and Jaehyun came back home; earlier today, Jaehyun would be finding out if he’s getting the job or he’ll be finding the next flight home. They paced up to you with somber expressions and you feel your heart sink, “Did you get the job?”

They share a solemn expression and your brain starts formulating sympathetic responses for both of them until Jaehyun smiles and they both pull out wine bottles in each hand from behind their backs. “I got the job!”

“Oh my god! Jaehyun, congrats!”

He shrugs, “It’s at a completely different state though, but still a decent paying job and they’ll provide me an apartment!”

“This calls for a celebration!”

The wine they brought home was downed within the next two hours, the three of you all giddily share the last glasses in the living room while talking about anything under the sun. You weren’t a lightweight but considering this was the fourth bottle of red wine, you were definitely borderline drunk.

“I can’t thank you guys enough for letting me stay this week.” Jaehyun clears his throat, “I promise when I’ll pay you guys back somehow; maybe I’ll host you guys in my new place if it’s big enough.”

“We’ll look forward to that.” Johnny raises his glass for a toast and Jaehyun clinks his glass against his and you join in. “Maybe by then, you’ll have a lady in your life.”

Jaehyun laughs at this, shaking his head in dismissal, “Maybe.”

You put your glass down and lay your head on Johnny’s shoulder, “Oh, Jaehyun, would you like me to introduce you to some of my friends? If you’re anything like Johnny, then my friends will like you right away.”

He tilts his head at the statement, curiously peering at the two of you, and Johnny chuckles, the vibration of it tickles you.

“Rumor has it [Y/N]’s friends all have a crush on me.” He shrugs the unoccupied shoulder and kisses your head, “But can you blame them?”

You playfully smack his chest and roll your eyes, “You put friendships at stake, John. If you hadn’t put a ring on it, they wouldn’t have stopped pining over you.”

Jaehyun whistles, “Never pegged you to be the type to ruin friendships, Johnny.”

“You know me, Jae, I know when boundaries are crossed.”

“What did you do…” You blurted out, unable to stop yourself from asking, “when the other’s girlfriend started to like the other…?”

Johnny freezes under your touch and Jaehyun’s eyes slowly blinked in confusion until he understood what you meant.

“Oh…” Your husband pauses, “Uhm, well, I don’t think we ever had to deal with something like that. But the girlfriends we had back then weren’t that serious; we’d prioritize our friendship, I guess?”

You look at Jaehyun, who nods to Johnny’s words. You press yourself onto Johnny, humming lowly, “Is that why you aren’t keen about sharing me?”

Jaehyun was drinking the last drop of his wine, almost choking it out when he heard your question. He stares at you briefly before moving his gaze up Johnny, who was at a loss for words.

Feeling brazen and fueled by the alcohol in your system, you sit up and put a hand on his chest, “You liked the idea of it last night.”

“What?” Jaehyun interjects, putting his wine glass on the coffee table, “I thought that phase was done, Johnny. She’s your wife. I can’t—”

“Why not?” You cut him off and he’s taken aback.

“I-I’m not an adulterer.”

“But you have my consent, if ever, and more importantly, the husband’s consent.”

Jaehyun brings his attention back to his friend, carefully asking with disbelief in his voice, “Johnny?”

He’d been awfully quiet the entire time, bringing a hand to your thigh and gently rubbed it. “You said the other day that you miss the good old days.”

“But she’s your wife.” Jaehyun repeats.

“She is and she’s also right… You know I wouldn’t do this with any other guy, man. No one’s gonna know except for the three of us and we’re celebrating right now; what better way to celebrate than having sex.”

“With your wife.”

You sighed, “Okay, if you’re not up to it, then I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

Jaehyun doesn’t say anything afterwards, twiddling his thumbs in awkwardness. Johnny takes the hint and announces that they should get ready for bed and you start cleaning up, but Jaehyun insists that he does that for you and you relent after Johnny convinces you to.

You pondered about the situation as you took a quick shower. It was a little disappointing that Jaehyun wasn’t up to it, but it didn’t entirely upset you either. The last thing you want to come off as to your husband’s best friend is that you’re a wanton woman and you most definitely didn’t want to force him into doing something he wasn’t comfortable with. It’s commendable that he cares about you and Johnny’s marriage more than getting laid and you might not have known him from way back, but you can tell that he’s matured from being the “fuck boy” Johnny claims him to be.

As you dry your body off with a towel, you can vaguely hear voices outside the room but think nothing of it. Maybe Jaehyun was just dropping by to say good night or something. You put your bathrobe on and tied it around your waist, flipping the light switch off as you stepped out. A gasp escapes you when you see Jaehyun standing by the foot of the bed with Johnny, your hand instinctively gripping at the chest area of your robe.

“Honey,” Johnny says, “Jaehyun changed his mind.”

Those words alone made your knees quiver in excitement, “Oh? What changed your mind?”

He shrugs his shoulders, forcing out a chuckle, “I don’t know… for old time’s sake?”

“Are you still up for it, hon?”

You nodded your head, trying not to make it seem like you’re eager to do so.

Johnny turns to Jaehyun, “Well, she’s all yours.”

“No ground rules? Uhm, I don’t have a condom.”

“No condom. I have an implant,” You wave your hand, “Johnny and I aren’t financially ready to have kids so we don’t need the condom if you’re worried about accidentally impregnating me.”

“Okay, then.”

“Ah,” Johnny exclaims just as he sits on the chaise where you do your make up, “Her ass is mine. I miss it.”

You roll your eyes at him, scoffing to yourself as you approached Jaehyun. You looked up at him, seeing the faintest sun spots across his cheeks and the daintiest mole near his eye. During the entire time week, you never stood this close to him. “Can you lead and I’ll just… follow along?”

He gives you an easy smile, nodding at your request. “Okay.” He whispers.

Jaehyun reaches up behind you, tugging at the bun you put your hair into before getting into the shower until your tresses cascade down your back. He puts his hand on the knot you made over your robe and waits for you to give him a signal before pulling it to release the sash.

You could hear your heartbeat in your ears; almost feeling scandalized to be undressed by a man who isn’t your husband. You glanced at him, seeing his figure leaned back and enjoying the show so far.

“Don’t look at me, love. I’m not the one touching you.” He reminds and you bring your face back up to Jaehyun.

He starts to peel the robe off you, one shoulder at a time, before he lets it fall to the floor. Under his breath, you could hear the softest sound of astonishment as his eyes raked down your body, making you feel more confident than shy.

Jaehyun ducks his head down and you think he’s about to kiss you, but he dives straight onto the crook of your neck, giving it the softest little pecks. His hands ghosted over your waist, like he was still unsure if he could touch you.

You pulled him closer by the nape, threading your fingers through his hair, and pushed your bare chest against him as an invitation for him to hold you.

He gets the hint, gliding his palms over your back. His hands were so warm, a little rough, but the way they danced over your skin made it seem otherwise. He starts to nudge you, moving you closer to the bed and sat you down on it.

You watched him pull his shirt off and you almost felt your mouth water at the sight of his body; and you thought Johnny was fit. Jaehyun’s muscles were more defined, rippling with every movement he made. You’re distracted by the evident outline of his cock in his pants and you looked up at him as you touched his belt.

He gives you a little nod and you begin to unbuckle his belt and pop the button of his pants, like a child eagerly opening a birthday present. You push his pants down and Johnny chuckles at the corner of the room, “Oh, Jae, you’re gonna love this.”

With the praise from your husband, you hook your fingers over Jaehyun’s underwear and tugged it down until it joined his pants around his ankles. His cock bobbed as it escaped its confines, not fully hard, the head was blush pink with prominent veins trailing down his length.

You took him into your hand, lightly squeezing the base before running your fist along his shaft repeatedly in a languid motion. You felt him grow in your hand, thicker and longer with every throb; at the first pearl of pre-cum, you took him in your mouth and Jaehyun groaned, instinctively putting a hand on the back of your head.

You inched your way down, easing him closer to the back of your throat; flattening your tongue against the underside. When you hollowed out your cheeks, he curses; gripping at your hair. The pain zaps through your scalp and it makes you moan, which sends extra vibrations around his cock. You grab his hips and hold him steady, taking all of him into your mouth until the tip is right at your throat and you can feel him about to cum.

But then Jaehyun pulls you away, forcing you onto your back on the bed with a surprised gasp.

“I’m sorry, was that too harsh?”

“Don’t worry, she likes it rough.” Johnny has a hand over his crotch, palming himself over his pants.

You scoot further into the bed, spreading your legs to present yourself to Jaehyun. You bite down on your lip, turned on by seeing your husband touch himself and Jaehyun’s cock dripping with your saliva.

He crawls over your body, kissing up your legs, hips, and settled one of your breasts, sucking at your nipple while thumbing your clit. He pushes two fingers inside of you with an embarrassingly loud squelch; your walls welcoming his fingers eagerly.

“You’re so wet.” Jaehyun hums, moving his mouth over to your other nipple.

You start to writhe once he reaches deep enough to brush his fingertips over your sweet spot. You buck right into his hand and the sight makes Jaehyun chuckle.

“Are you already coming? From my fingers alone?”

He retracts his fingers and sits up, spreading your essence that coated his fingers over his cock before propping your legs over his thighs.

You impatiently waited to have him, switching your gaze to Johnny, who had kicked his own pants off and seeing your husband’s cock, red and leaking, only whet your sexual appetite. Your attention is brought back to Jaehyun when he runs his tip along your folds, teasing you for a few seconds until he stops right at your entrance and begins to push in.

You gasped, sitting up and throwing an arm around Jaehyun’s shoulders. You watched as enters further into you; an abhorrent scene of another man sinking his cock inside your depths that only your husband had access for the past three years. 

Jaehyun scoops you up by your ass, having you straddle him as he knelt. “Can you show me how you ride Johnny, [Y/N]?”

“Of course,” You laughed, putting both your hands on his shoulders and raised your hips up, “I’ll show you how I make him go crazy.”

You sank back down him immediately, making sure you clenched when he was inside you all the way to the hilt before repeating the action. Maybe you’ve grown accustomed to Johnny’s dick because everything felt different with Jaehyun; the way he stretched you, the way he hit deep inside, how he held onto you, and urge you to keep going.

“Jesus Christ.” He groaned, falling back a bit, letting go of your hips to support his weight.

“She’s great, isn’t she?” Johnny comes up behind you, shedding his shirt off, and taking the lube you two kept in the nightstand for special nights. He coats his cock with what’s left in the tube, a telltale sign how much you’ve used it, and kisses you, using his clean hand to cup your face. “Been addicted to her pussy since the first time.”

You giggled at him, only to gasp when his (very cold) lube coated fingers probed your anus. You sucked your bottom lip in when he pushes a finger inside.

“Ah—” Jaehyun hisses, “You’re getting tighter.”

“[Y/N] is just excited.” Johnny gets onto the bed behind you, replacing his finger with the head of his cock. “Hell, had I known she wanted to be in a threesome, I would have booked you a flight here myself.”

He eases himself inside of you and you halt your movements on Jaehyun, mewling as you took every inch of Johnny. Jaehyun sits back up, guiding your legs around his waist with a wicked smile on his face. It was a little unsettling to see his scheming expression, but Johnny trusted him and that’s enough for you to trust him as well.

“I’m not gonna last long.” Jaehyun admits, gripping at your ass and spreading it apart for Johnny.

“Let’s show my wife how we did it back then, hm?” Johnny kisses your neck.

They start to thrust into you in pattern that seemed premeditated; when one was entering, the other is pulling out. Each of them had their own particular strength when they thrusted and you’re a moaning mess in between, holding onto Jaehyun for some sort of support. Johnny’s hands roughly kneaded your breasts in his palms while kissing marks down your nape and shoulder.

You couldn’t stop the choked moans and gasps falling from your mouth, overwhelmed with so much pleasure you’ve never had before. You couldn’t even open your eyes, tightly shutting them knowing they’d just roll back into your head. The knot in your stomach is unfurling at such a fast rate that you didn’t feel your orgasm hitting you until you’re twitching violently, trapped between two strong bodies.  You let out a cry, slamming your back against Johnny’s chest and digging your nails in Jaehyun’s biceps.

Johnny angles your head towards him, drowning your cries with a kiss. “You’re doing good, baby. Can you hold on for me and Jaehyun, hm?”

You mewled, unable to stop your body’s trembling, gasping for air as if it’s been knocked right out of you.

“I’m gonna cum.” Jaehyun grits through his teeth, hips moving a little more desperately and unsyncing with Johnny’s movement, causing another whine to emanate from you.

“Inside.” You begged, peeking out from one eye, “Cum inside.”

Jaehyun looks at Johnny, who nods at him.

“I’m close, too.” Johnny grunts, keeping the pace of his thrusts.

You heaved loudly, feeling another wave of your orgasm coming. You take one of their hands and put one over each breast, motioning for them to squeeze them. They don’t have any qualms about it, quick to obey what you wanted.

Jaehyun comes first, stilling completely and shooting his hot seed — and even that felt foreign to you. He grunts, slowly pulling out despite your walls clamping down since Johnny was still going at it from behind. He falls down on his knees and pushes his leaking cum back inside of your with two fingers, plunging his digits repeatedly.

You come with Johnny; bodies reacting differently when ecstasy hits. You grabbed Jaehyun’s wrist in a vain effort to stop him, violently quaking in sporadic bursts. Johnny, on the other hand, hollows out into you, groaning loudly and throwing his head back. It’s been awhile since you’ve done it anally, but you swear it feels better and better every time.

Retracting his fingers, Jaehyun sits back on his legs, catching his breath as he watches Johnny pull out of you and smiles when he hugs you to his chest, kissing your hair. You’re on the brink of falling asleep when Jaehyun starts to move off the bed.

“I’m gonna shower.” He groans, stretching his back. “Damn, I can’t be that old.”

“I’m gonna shower, too.” Johnny moves you off of him and delicately lays you on the bed, “I’ll get you a wet towel.”

“Thanks.” You sighed, glancing at Jaehyun. “You, too, Jaehyun. Thanks for… this? I suppose.”

He chuckles, “Thanks, too.”

“If ever this pretty little thing wants a round two,” Johnny pinches your ass, making you yelp, “And you’re still single, then…”

“Yeah, sure. Give me a call.” Jaehyun stands up, after slipping his underwear on. “Maybe I’ll stay single for you guys.”

“Aw,” You coo, “Don’t hold back, Jaehyun. She’s out there; who knows, maybe she’d like to join.”

He snaps his head at you, eyes wide with shock before moving to Johnny, who does the same. You shrug your shoulders at them, faking innocence at what you’ve just suggested. 

“I’ve made a monster.” He conspires, prompting you to slap his thigh. He laughs, grabbing your hand and kissing your ring. “But we’ll never know until we try.”

“Hey,” Jaehyun laughs, “Let me find her first!”