#Heidi things

[matt-erialgirl]

A lot’s changed

I’m about to talk about cancer, so if this is something you can’t handle reading about, steer clear.

It’s just strange and terrifying when it happens in your own home. You know it’s as common as ever now; almost every family has experienced one form or the other of the disease, but you never expect it to enter your life. My mother was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer in January 2023, it had already spread to her lymph nodes and a mastectomy was the immediate solution the doctors proposed. Albeit these news were the worst I had ever had to take in a doctor’s office, we were reassured constantly that her prognosis shows promise. That the biopsy results show that her body will respond to treatment. That she can have a full recovery.

While I’m thankful that she had a fighting chance, I’m inexplicably angry. They don’t tell you just how bad things can get with and after chemo. They touch on it, but it’s nowhere near as bad as the way my mother had to experience it. They don’t tell you she’ll cry because she can’t take the aches in her body, they don’t tell you how you can take away from her pain when her hair starts to fall out, they don’t tell you she might not be able to stand on her own anymore, they don’t tell you about the loosening of the nails, the numbness that runs all the way up to her ankles and wrists, the stiffness. And then she’ll show symptoms of rare side effects that no one would take seriously and we end up in the ICU for three nights. She’s the strongest woman I know - to give up her caregiving status as a mother so we can take care of her instead is, by itself, one of the most difficult things she had to do. She fought and is still fighting like no one else I know. But no one prepares you for how taxing it is to see a loved one like this. It’s painful to see them go from powerful and constantly on their feet and busy, to weak and needing help to get up, to not being able to walk into the doctor’s office and need a wheelchair, to not being able to sleep. They keep telling me that the hardest part is over, the Chemo and the surgery are done. No one really understands how hard it is, when she looked at me after the dressing was off with tears in her eyes and her lips quivering to ask me “how bad is it?”. No one really gets how furious it makes me that I can’t take her pain away. That I don’t know if she’ll ever accept herself the way she is now. That I don’t know if she’ll ever be the same. It changed her. It changed me. It changed all of us as a family. When cancer enters a home, it changes everyone around it. It tests you, it pushes you, it takes away from you, it exhausts you, drains you. Even while we’re trying to kill it, it’s still taking. Constantly fucking taking. And even when it’s gone, it’s still in the back of your head. Biannual screening. Tablets for years to come. Having to get screened yourself consistently. Some people will also have the audacity to tell you “Oh breast cancer isn’t difficult. It’s like getting the flu.” The fuck it is. Yes it’s easy to remove and yes it doesn’t affect bodily functions like other types of cancers, but it’s still a shit show. It’s still cancer. It’s still 16 chemotherapy cycles. It’s still a surgery with major physical impact. It’s still 25 radiotherapy sessions. It’s still fucking cancer. It’s still a life altering experience. It’s still one of the most difficult life lessons anyone has to learn.

All I want now is to get my mother back. The way she used to be. I miss her. I want to hug her and not hear “careful careful careful!”, I want to take her out and not think twice about where I’m going to park to make sure she doesn’t have to walk any more than she needs to. I want her to check up on me in the night rather than the other way round. I want her back.

At this point, you start to accept that all you can do is be there for them and hold their hand through it. Reassure them when it gets tough, love them when they can’t love themselves, take care of them when they can’t do it themselves, and hope they come out of it stronger than they ever were.

[celeb-gold]

Denise Richards

[puretopia]

[chalkrub]

return of mendel

[lucdrawsthings]

shoutout to XY, the games that led to me meeting some of the most important people in my life. I'm really looking forward to learning more about Pokemon Legends ZA 💖

[buttfrovski]

HIS ASS JUST KEEPS ON LOSING LMAOOOO

[ki1ldeer]

Me when I get on a kick of drawing my ocs I hardly draw, only to then never draw them again after maybe a week of this lol

[trash-can-sam]

Qi’s time at sandrock.

I think  hes better friends with a lot of people than he actually thinks he is, and I think the town rubs off on him a lot more than he would like to admit.

A thing I wrote that inspired this I couldnt fully fit in but I like it a lot “He doesnt want to admit that these complacent, stupid people with no desire for efficency or improvement have made a place in his heart. That they have grown on him in a way they all sort of notice, just in little thing. Small gestures like sometimes apologizing after he says something rude/out of pocket. Or he’ll deliberately take less time on projects, prioritizing their projects over his own personal ones. Or he starts to leave his lab door unlocked. Or how he sits outside the blue moon instead of in the corner on the inside. How his interactions, although they remain brief, contain small insights into his life. Qi doesnt notice this change that much of course, but the more observant people in sandrock who do notice it know enough not to point it out.” 

[gaemms-chamois]

Arknights Blorbissimo Series

#1 – #10

[maslosstuff]

Some of my Rc9gn au or headcanons

Mcfist doesn’t remember Howard’s name so they refer to him as ninja sidekick or fat redhead kid

Randy had flexibility skills even before being the ninja (Doing homemade parkour stunts)

Heidi and Howard parents are divorced and stay with the parent they dislike

Heidi and Howard make exchanges with each other but both don’t keep their end of the bargain (rare if they do)

If Howard didn’t know Randy identity he would’ve been a villain (like Harry Osborn)

Theresa and Heidi are besties like Howard and Randy

Heidi and Debbie have a rivalry with one another before it get squashed and they learn to respect each other

Howard thinks Julian is a posier (which is why he’s not fond of him)

After merging with evil Julian regular Julian now has heterochromia

Theresa while not fond of Howard do thinks he’s funny

If Randy wasn’t picked as ninja Theresa would’ve been the next option

Morgan and Bash don’t get along at all but do love to make fun of Viceroy

Morgan may have an attraction to Howard (he doesn’t know that as she’s wearing a disguise)

Ninja suit acts like a symbiote so when Howard wore it he became a jerk (then usual)

Mac Antfee cut off McFist arm

[pinkdinkydoon]

outfit doodles :))

[00s-vs]

2003 ✩˚｡⋆

[sparklylightus]

Wanted to clean this up more but I've already spent a lifetime drawing so. Signalis OCs be upon ye ╰(✿´⌣`✿)╯♡

Intros below the cut!

Silvia Meng: was a very closed off software engineer for the government; complete wallflower and pushover until the end. Served as the neural pattern for the TNKR units.

TNKR (Tukan): replika model developed mainly for servers & database maintenance, which usually means they will sit at a desk for 16 hours transcribing research and logs (good thing replikas don't have tendinitis). Not very outspoken but less depressed than their pattern. Usually.

Heidi Qian: works at a research facility as, well, a researcher. Took the 'death' of her gf Silvia pretty bad and right when she was recovering they sent out these new units to help her facility's management, all of which are extremely friendly to her specifically. Totally isn't flirting with one of them. Pretty swell gal overall, does say inappropriate things sometimes but doesn't seem to care. Her facility is already chaotic and wrong anyway

[puretopia]

Spending the last few days of summer at Brindleton's Recreation Center. ☀️

[wrongspacetime]

The L Word: Generation Q (2019-) 3.09 | Quiet Before the Storm

[chalkscrub]

sneak peak of somethin..... i've never had an oc designed by someone else so i did a little design trade with a cool person on twitter - this is the thang i designed for them <:^) just waitin on their approval. thumbs up.