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seeingivy · 8 months

Text

lacy, oh lacy

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

content: oopsie. mentions of blood/injury. I think drinking is like briefly mentioned at one point.

an: ok. ok. the song line up in this one is so random i swear.

songs mentioned: peace by taylor swift, city of stars by ryan gosling and emma stone, promiscuous by nelly, lacy by olivia rodrigo

previous part linked here

You return home and stay there for an entire month, despite protests from Danny and Sareen. But anytime they try to push back, you remind them.

Your older brother split his head open because someone threw a brick through his window. Because of a situation they got you involved in.

Granted, they’re not fully to blame since you did agree to it, but Levi and Hange vehemently disagree. The two of them were very passionate about the fact that managers have a responsibility to protect their artists and the fact that Danny and Sareen even asked you to do something like this has them fuming. And by them, you mean Levi. He yelled at them on the phone after the pictures dropped.

Regardless, your contract with them won’t be over until the end of the year. The only way you can terminate is if you break the deal with the record company, but then you have to promise them majority royalties that you make with any other songs you release until the two years are up.

Which isn’t bad. You could just not write music for two years. But there’s some sense of loyalty, a need to maintain face so someone else does sign with you later on, you’ve proved you’ll be loyal. And that your records won’t suffer because of internal politics.

But for now, all you’re focused on is Colt and Falco.

Falco, who is quite literally a human cat (in the cute way, not the Catoru Gojo way), is currently nestled up in your lap and fast asleep. After two hours of playing Rocket League, which you actually suck at, and then another two hours of arguing about how stupid the game is (cars playing soccer???), he finally passed out.

Colt knocks, the scar along his hairline bright red, as he hands you a bowl of cereal and settles onto your bed with his laptop. Which he’s been doing often lately - lingering around in your room, never leaving you alone. Hovering.

He’s applying for summer internships, because apparently that’s a thing that normal people and not celebrities do. Not that you would know anything about that.

“Thanks Colt.”

He gives you a hum as he types away on his laptop, his jaw clenched in concentration. But all you can do is stare at that bright red line near his golden blonde hair and how angry it looks. There’s four sets of stitches in place, the area around the entire mark so pink and swollen. And he’s blinking too hard, eyes squinting at the laptop even though the brightness is all the way down. Meaning, his head is still hurting. You make a mental note to call the doctor again tomorrow.

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“Quit staring.”

“I’m not staring. And stop being so loud, Coco is sleeping.” you whisper.

“Were you born yesterday? He’d sleep through the apocalypse if he had to.”

You bring your hand down to Falco’s hair, soft under your touch, as he snores into your legs.

“Not lately. Y-yesterday, he came into my room crying in the middle of the night. Said he had a nightmare of glass shattering but it was just someone parking across the street.”

Colt looks over, his glasses resting against his nose, and gives Falco a worried look.

“He just- he was there when it happened, that’s all.” Colt murmurs, voice all quiet.

“You never told me what did happen.”

Colt closes the screen of his laptop and sets the computer in between you, as he readjusts on his side. His hand is now in Falco’s hair, making a mess of his already matted hair.

“I-I was sitting in your room.”

“Huh? Why?”

“I do that when I miss you. Just sit in here, with Chelsea and all these god awful posters you have.”

You smile, reaching forward to squeeze his hand which he rolls his eyes at.

“You’re cute. You miss me?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Okay, Jesus.”

“Falco came to sit with me too. Also, he totally ate chocolate on your bed and spilled some on the carpet.”

“Remind me to kill him when he wakes up. Is that what’s under that god awful rug you guys put in here?” you respond, grating your teeth.

He ignores the comment all together and keeps going.

“I kept getting a lot of texts from my classmates and stuff like that, like a few hours after. About the pictures of you and the rumors and all that. And I called you and Eren picked up and he told me about how you came to him, all bloody and cold. He told me that you were finally sleeping so he didn’t wake you. Said to call him back if I needed something.”

Sweet, sweet Eren.

“And then I heard it. This rustling, by the side doors. Now, I know that Sandra putting the trash cans back is really loud from your room, but it was Friday. Trash day is on Tuesday. So I peeked my head out the window to see what the noise was and that’s when they threw the brick. It went through the glass and hit me.”

You clench his hand, which he shakes his head at. He’s rubbing small circles into your skin as he keeps going, his voice so hollow it bothers you.

“I fell over. Started bleeding onto your carpet and Falco finally noticed. And, and he was holding my head trying to stop the bleeding. He figured it was the right thing to do after how much Grey’s Anatomy you’ve forced him to watch. Mom and Dad came in and I told them to call Eren and not you, because you were probably still asleep. Eren sent us a security detail super fast, he said it’s the one he’s been using since he was a kid so we can trust them. They got here in like twenty minutes and did the stitches on me.”

You look at him and he wraps his arms around you, Falco meshed in between the two of you. And you stay that way for a while, in each other's embrace, as the guilt sits with you. And when Colt falls asleep too, you reach for your notebook and scribble the lyrics down.

As long as danger is near And it's just around the corner, darling 'Cause it lives in me No, I could never give you peace

You slide out of their embrace, leaving the two of them tangled on your bed as you hike your knees to your chest and sit on the floor to write properly. And when you lift the rug on the ground out of curiosity and piece it all together - that they’re covering up the dark, brown mark of Colt’s blood on your carpet, you keep writing.

I’ll give you my sunshine, give you my best But the rain is always going to come if you’re standing with me Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

Your phone buzzes three times and you reach for it, sliding it open to read the notification.

eren: attachment, two images

eren: saw you earlier today. ur face card is insane.

You open up the picture, one of him and Lana in Los Angeles with a billboard of you in the back. You had seen them on Twitter, Spotify putting up big pictures of the Ribbons album cover, with Multi-Platinum in shiny letters right next to it.

The first picture is of Eren and Lana blowing kisses towards the billboard of you and the second is Eren choking Lana a few seconds after. The photos are live, so you hold down and watch Eren and Lana move in the picture, Eren’s laugh coming through.

you: please don’t choke my wife. she’s too hot to die young.

eren: i hate you guys. i really do.

you: are you jealous?

eren: you were mine first >:P

eren: how’s falco? he hasn’t responded to my text since yday :/

you: please stop texting my thirteen year old brother. you’re such a loser.

you: idk. he had a nightmare last night about what happened. i don’t think he’s taking it too well.

eren: it’s hard. he’s still so little. how’s colt?

you: his cut looks like it hurts and he keeps squinting at his computer still. i feel like he’s trying to put on a brave face for me or something.

eren: he’s older than you and he’s always taken care of you. he’s going to do that still, and you should just let him. how are you?

You pause.

You’re sick to your stomach. Because all you’ve been able to do is read what people say about you online. And what gets you, is that everyone thinks you’re so fake. And you think so hard, read so much into what they’re saying, that you almost start thinking it’s true.

Is the “I’m a small town Canadian girl an act?” You haven’t lived here in years. And you can’t say you’re not famous anymore - because you’ve literally broken records before, multiple times over. And you’re not really a fraud anymore, despite the fact that you still feel like one. You fake relationships, your friends don’t like you, and…and…..

You’re fake. Your mistakes are on display and some people think you deserve to die for it.

eren: where’d you go?

you: sorry. im trying my best to hold on. i was just writing a song.

eren: LEMME SEE.

you: no.

eren: LET ME SEE.

You take a picture of the lyrics, messily scribbled in your book and send him a picture. And then nearly a minute later, Eren’s name is flashing across your screen and he’s calling you. You quickly walk into Falco’s room and take a seat by his little balcony, sliding the call open.

“Hi Eren.”

“Oh, Y/N. Sweetheart.”

And at the sound of him calling you that, of him calling you sweetheart still, has tears burning down your face and tiny sobs leaving your mouth.

“If the rain is always going to come if I’m standing with you, I’ll just hold an umbrella.”

“Eren.”

“That’s how they feel about it too. Both of them. I know it’s different when it’s me because I understand, because we’re used to this, but they love you. You are enough for them, even if you come with this thing behind you. That you can’t control, mind you.”

“I know that, Eren. But I want them to have that, I want their lives to be peaceful and I want Falco to sleep through the night without waking up. I don’t want to give Colt to get hurt because of me-”

“Every time I call them, all I hear is them worried about you. That you’re going to pull away from them, because you’re scared of hurting them. And-and I told you how much it sucks when you’re on the other side of that. Granted, Zeke’s a sick fuck who did it to mess with me but…please don’t do that to Colt or Falco. You’re going to actually hurt them if you do that. Pull away.”

You pause, taking in Eren’s words. Eren and Zeke. Zeke got canceled and stopped talking to Eren all together. Insulted him, made fun of him, and didn’t say anything at all. And, and it hurt him so bad that when Eren told you, that he was crying.

No. You’re not doing that to Falco or to Colt. God forbid they feel like they’re unlovable because you can’t let them in.

“You-you’re right, Eren. Thanks. That-that actually helps.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I-I didn’t even realize. I forgot that this has happened to you. Are-are you okay? I know this type of thing can be triggering, I should have asked before.” you respond.

He’s quiet.

“Eren?”

“Yeah. It-it wasn’t easy.”

“I’m sorry. I should’ve-”

“No, no. I don’t mean like, it wasn’t easy and you shouldn’t have come to me. It was more…eye-opening I guess. It hadn’t happened in so long that I forgot about it. It was a harsh reality check when it was you of all people knocking on my door. I hate that I can’t protect you from these types of things.”

“I’m sorry, Eren. You-”

You pause. What do you say? What do you say to him when this is all he’s known? All he’ll ever know? And when you know all too well that there really is nothing he can do?

“You don’t have to say anything, Y/N. Knowing you’re here with me is enough.”

Fucking mind reader. You hate it when he does this.

“God. Quit reading my mind.”

“Can’t help it. I know you like the back of my hand. And I am saying that in earnest. This shit sucks, I’ve dealt with it forever. But you make things easy. Your presence is enough comfort, okay?”

There’s a beat on the phone call. He doesn’t speak and you don’t either. And you can feel your cheeks burning.

“Eren?”

“Hm?”

“Since when do you call my brothers?” you ask, sniffling.

“Ah, you know. Since it happened. But in all fairness, Falco calls me first most of the time.”

“How many times have you talked to him?”

“Like every day or every other day at least. Kid is so ridiculous.”

“Eren. You don’t even call me that much.”

“Do you want me to?”

“No, it’s not the same if I have to ask you to do it. And plus, your new best friend is probably going to get all mad at me.” you tease, trying not to laugh.

“Oh, don’t be like that, sweetheart. I’ll call you more, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t say yeah like that.”

“Like what?”

“God, Y/N. Quit flirting with me or I’m going to fall in love with you.”

Your heart does a somersault, a cartwheel, a back handspring, and everything in between. Eren throws blankets over your barbed wire and shamelessly flirts with you after like it’s nothing.

The song comes out in the middle of your preliminary press tour for Ten Things I Hate About You and instantly becomes a hot topic the interviewees focus on. You’ve been stuck working all day. You can’t even comment on whether or not the song is about you if you wanted to.

Historia released her latest single, for her new and upcoming album, called Lacy. And everyone thinks the song is about you, that it’s a response to dorothea. And when you get home from the warm lights nearly cooking you on the stage, you immediately run and pull up the video on your computer, Yuuta and Rika taking residence in your room while you do.

The music video is simple, a black and white video of Historia and Eren in a recording studio, singing the song. Eren’s nimble hands are plucking the strings of the guitar and Historia’s sweet, soft voice is carrying the vocals.

Ooh, I care, I care, I care Like perfume that you wear, I linger all the time Watching, hidden in plain sight And ooh, I try, I try, I try But it takes over my life, I see you everywhere The sweetest torture one could bear

You keep listening, focusing intently on how anyone could even connect the song to you. Granted, from what you’re gathering, the song is about someone Historia knows that she idolizes, focuses on so much that it makes her feel bad about herself. Like an obsession.

You are put into constant competition with each other, down to the time your records come out. People make it a point to comment on who would become a triple threat first - her or you - or pigeon hole the tiniest details into some big feud between the two of you. The only time your song leaves the #1 spot on the top of the charts is when Historia releases a new one, the only time her movie falls in popularity is because yours comes out.

But that doesn’t mean it’s about you.

Ooh, I care, I care, I care Like ribbons in your hair, my stomach's all in knots You got the one thing that I want Ooh, I try, I try, I try Try to rationalize, people are people But it's like you're made of angel dust

You freeze. That’s where the connection comes in. The ribbons in your hair. Not only is your record literally called Ribbons, but the entire tour, press, even the cover of the album is you with varying colors of ribbons in your hair.

If that’s true, then…Historia stopped talking to you because of it? Because people pit her against you one too many times and it makes her feel bad about herself? You reach for your phone.

you: eren.

eren: y/n. what can i do you for?

you: is lacy about me?

eren: just saw ur lip sync battle with sukuna. i’m inconsolable.

He’s changing the subject. Though, you were waiting for him to bring that up. Your final stop on the press tour before finishing and returning to filming was doing the infamous lip sync battle - with you and Sukuna against Yuuta and Rika. And in true Yuuta and Rika fashion, they did a super lovey dovey rendition of City of Stars, from La La Land. Which only made it funnier that you and Sukuna just sang Promiscuous and made it rain dollar bills on each other.

you: i’m sure your heart is very broken. but quit changing the subject.

eren: it is. i’ll never love again.

you: eren. answer the question. you know how much this entire hisu thing has bothered me.

eren: i’m sorry, sweetheart. you know i can’t talk about things historia told me in confidence, as much as i want to.

you: eren. are you seriously telling me that historia stopped being my friend because OTHER PEOPLE were comparing us? that’s so stupid.

eren: don’t pigeon hole the lyrics. you don’t even know if it’s about you. and even if it is, give historia some slack. this entire thing we do is complicated. and she’s always felt things so deeply.

you: you’re a traitor. you’re supposed to be on my side.

eren: sometimes being the devil's advocate is being on your side.

you: don’t quote me back to me. being annoying isn’t a good look on you.

You throw your phone back and replay the song. Four times, each time doing exactly what Eren told you not to do and pigeonholing the lyrics. But you keep going over it in your head. That if it really is about you, then the way you are, the success you have is so obsessive for Historia that it made her start hating herself. That she feels like she can’t compare, so much so, that she’d avoid you all together.

It stings. You were girls together.

The last time you talked to Historia was months ago, when you were still taking your month off and staying with Colt and Falco. And even that was an exception to her normal radio silence and the miles she put between you two.

The call came in the middle of the night, right after you made sure Falco and Colt were both asleep. What you were expecting was Eren - who was too overprotective and kept calling to check if you were okay. But instead, Historia’s name and the picture of the two of you - fast asleep on the couch on the Attack on Titan set - was flashing across the screen.

“Y/N?”

“Hisu? Is it really you.”

She awkwardly laughs.

“Yeah. Hi. I was just calling to check up on you. I would take time off to come see you like everyone else but I’m stuck on set.”

“No problem. I-I’m staying home anyways. With Coco and Colt.”

“That’s nice. I’m glad, you-you never were one to take a break.”

You pause.

“So. Um-”

“You’re okay, right? I-I saw the pictures. The entire thing is really shitty and I’m sorry it happened to you.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. How are you?”

“I’m about to go on release my album in a few months. Then go on tour. ”

“Yeah, I’ve been watching all the press. You’re amazing, I-I’m really excited to listen, yeah? I’ve always been your number one fan.”

There’s a beat. She doesn’t respond right away and the silence sticks in your mind, even if it’s only for a few seconds.

“Thanks, Y/N. You’ve always been really sweet.”

“You too, yeah?”

“Listen. I have to go. But take it easy, yeah?”

“Okay. Bye Hisu.”

It’s static.

You reach for your phone and pull up the chat between you and her and text.

you: just listened to lacy, hisu. another hit, once again.

And after you can’t help but think about it. Are these the compliments that hit like bullets on skin? She never responds. You take that as a yes.

You stare at the screen, eyes focused on the texts. That have been bothering you for a few days. Five texts, all left unanswered by Eren.

Your novelty is wearing off. Eren’s done talking to you.

You’re making it up. You’re making it up and it’s only because you’re so used to his quick witted responses that it’s bothering you. That he hasn’t responded yet. You read them over again, double, triple checking what you said.

you: saw this ugly toad ceramic at the store. reminded me of you.

you: i’ll buy it for you.

you: i think jean is going to propose to mika. and i know they’ve literally been together since we were fifteen but we are ONLY TWENTY TWO.

you: it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other!!!

you: armin and i were thinking of coming down for your birthday! meet all ur lil set friends and see connie again and stuff :’)

It sits with you in a weird way. Because you know that he responded to Armin an hour ago, about his birthday. And said that it was best that you both didn’t come just because of how busy it was, that he’d probably only get to spend an hour with you guys.

Armin is insistent on going anyway. And you just miss Eren. Sukuna pads into the room and finds you like this, with your phone flat on your bed and the way you’re leaning over the covers and staring intently at it.

“Just climb in, why don’t you?” he mutters, falling flat on your bed.

“Hello to you too. Why are you in my trailer?”

“Bored. Lonely. Horny. Take your pick.”

You roll your eyes and side shuffle to make room for him, his stupid musky smell enveloping the air. What you were expecting to be an unpleasant co-star was anything but, because you and Sukuna have slowly been sweeping hearts.

From the way you guys argue during press, how Sukuna shamelessly flirts with you, to your shared need to fight with each other - you’re quickly ramping up the popularity around the rom-com you aren’t even done filming.

“So. What the fuck are you staring at?”

“Nothing.”

“Talk.” he says sternly, lifting his hand to knock on your head.

Absolute caveman.

“Can I ask you a weird question?”

“Sure.”

“How are you so blunt?”

He turns over, a look of confusion spread on his face. You follow suit and turn over too, eyes focused on the tattoos that litter his skin. All the way around his neck and his arms and on instinct, you nervously reach for your own.

“Are you tired of being a pushover, Y/N?”

“What? I’m not a pushover, I’m just-”

You stop. Maybe not the word you would use, people pleaser seems more like the explanation for it. Maybe if you cared less about Eren, about what he thought of you, it would be easier. Maybe if you wanted him less it would be easier to be his friend.

“I’m going to tell you something and you can’t repeat it to anyone, doll. I’m trusting you here, okay?”

“Okay. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

“I learned quickly that you can’t let anyone have a pull on you. Because when you do, you’ll do anything. Believe anything. And it’ll be your downfall if you let it.”

You take in his words. And he doesn’t talk for a while, eyes focused on the brown ceiling of your trailer.

“I went a long time without doing what I felt was right. What people were pulling me to do this and that, what I had to do. And when I reached a certain point, I didn’t even know who I was anymore. Hundreds, thousands of people loved me and I didn’t even know who I was looking at in the mirror.” he says.

“Well, I hardly doubt it was thousands, Sukuna. You’re quite irritating.”

He brings his hand down on your face, laughing. His face is uncharacteristically soft and he resembles Yuuji too much. Granted, they are fucking twins but the expression - it’s one you’ve only seen reflected on his face and never Sukuna’s.

“You’re tolerable when you’re like this, Y/N. You’re always such a pain in the fucking ass.”

“You’re normal like this. It’s nice. You should do it more often.”

There’s a beat. And he’s thinking.

“Being blunt is the only way I’m sure. That I’m being myself, because that’s what’s coming to mind. And in a place where almost everyone is lying, trying to pit everyone else against each other and bring them down for entertainment, honesty is the only way I make it out.”

You nod, sinking in his words. Thinking back to Sukuna, when you met him. When he was on again and off again with Hyla, how he said that he would just get pulled so deeply into things that he didn’t even realize what was going on till he was out of it. That it was blinding.

“So what was bothering you?”

“Ah. You know, the whole Historia thing.”

He laughs.

“Lacy, oh lacy. Skin like puff pastry.”

You snort.

“I can’t even tell if that’s a compliment or not. Aren’t puff pastries really dry and crumbly?”

“I think she meant to say pasty. Like a ghost.” he responds.

“I don’t know, Sukuna. I guess I feel bad. That we’re always in competition and that it seems like my mere existence just makes it hard for her.”

“Y/N.”

“Hm?”

“You know what Historia does when she puts you on a pedestal?”

“What?”

“Gives herself no room to stand next to you. And leaves you up there alone.” he says, the tone in his voice definitive.

You pause.

“When the fuck did you become so wise?”

“Beauty and brains, Y/N. There isn’t a thing I can’t do.” he responds, giving you a stupid smirk.

The pictures drop on Twitter three weeks later, on your last week of filming, and give you a bittersweet reaction. The first one, when you see it, makes your heart drop. Maybe even break a little.

Eren and Hyla, all curled up on a yacht kissing each other. Eren looks great, phenomenal even, and people make no point to keep that information to themselves. He’s getting more and more fit as time goes on, the stupid sunglasses he’s wearing, and his hair long again - people are going feral for Eren Jaeger. And Hyla is Hyla - gorgeous, brilliant, and beautiful.

Granted, this entire feeling is on you for making the assumption. That Eren taking care of you after the Ricky thing, that you guys constantly text again like you used to, is any inclination that he likes you. Especially when he started slipping away.

It’s simple. Eren’s your best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. You dropped the ball and let him go and now he’s someone else’s.

You’re fish together because you’re friends, because you get each other. And that alone is a testament to your relationship. That it can’t be replaced.

But it doesn’t make it sting any less. Especially when he gives you no warning beforehand.

But in a nice, karmic way, the second picture makes it all better. It’s Eren throwing up over the side of the boat. Right after kissing Hyla.

Eren and his sensitive stomach save the day. He’s trending for both how great he looks and for how ridiculous it is that he literally vomited after kissing his girlfriend.

“Sukuna. Come here.”

“Hm? What do you want?”

“Let’s send him a picture.” you say, pointing at the pictures.

Sukuna, in true Sukuna fashion, has printed out both pictures and framed them for the trailer.

For Sukuna, the entire ordeal is priceless. Because Eren and Hyla being together is funny, but Hyla being so atrocious that Eren throws up after they kiss is even funnier. He’s already tweeted so much about it that everyone’s dying over Sukuna and how petty he is. Truly, the only person who could get away with this.

You debate addressing the elephant in the room with Eren. Granted, calling a model like Hyla an elephant is almost ironic but, you digress.

If it was a big deal, he would give you a warning. So you shouldn't. But maybe you should tell him you don't care and that it's okay that he's with her.

What are you saying? He doesn't need your permission. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

You put the frame against the mirror, making sure Eren can see you and Sukuna laughing in the reflection as you take a picture of the frame. And the fact that Sukuna’s not wearing a shirt, that he’s leaning all over you, should trigger some type of reaction. Or you at least hope it will.

“Give him hell, doll. Stupid prick.” he says, shuffling away back to the other side of his trailer.

You give him a smile as you slide open your phone, sending him the picture. And then you follow and plop onto Sukuna’s bed, which has him nearly trying to cut off your circulation by smothering a pillow in your face.

A gentleman.

you: eren jaeger, the man that you are

eren: FUCKING STOP. JEAN IS ALREADY DOGGING ME ON TWITTER.

you: an instant classic. you are never living this down, my friend.

you: the fact that connie has said nothing yet is almost concerning. this has him written all over it.

eren: tell sukuna i will kill him. he’s got his dirty paws ALL OVER YOU TOO

you: possessive much?

eren: i am a simple man. and you two together has been a sore spot for me since i was sixteen. there’s only so much i can stomach.

you: protect your peace, king. this movie is not going to be easy for you.

eren: WHY?????

you: has a lot of smooching. and you KNOW sukuna gets carried away.

eren: blocked. I hate you.

eren: never talk to me again. i refuse to come to the premiere.

you: hehe.

eren: do NOT hehe me. im going to cry myself to sleep. do you relish in my pain?

you: a little bit. sweet dreams!!!

eren disliked a message.

Sukuna leans over and reads the messages as Yuuji and Rika walk in, with Yuuta and Annie in tow. You give them all a smile as they fall onto the bed with you two, stuck in their own conversations. Annie and Rika are talking about Rika’s birthday that’s coming up and Yuuji’s too busy trying to swipe Annie’s phone, for god knows what reason.

“This is insane. He’s all but fucking another girl on a yacht but talking to you like this? After ignoring you too?” Sukuna mutters, glaring at you.

“It’s not like that. We-we’re just friends. And it’s funny to joke about it.”

“You’re just friends. Yeah, and I’m the Thirteenth Disciple of Jesus, Y/N.” he responds, bitingly sarcastic.

“You and Judas would get along.” you respond.

“You’re being stupid. I’m not buying you ice cream when you come to me crying when he stops texting you.”

“You would. Begrudgingly, probably while hurling a bunch of insults at me, but you would.”

He reaches forward and flicks your forehead. A telltale sign that even he knows he would, because he isn’t rejecting the notion. Yuuta scoots over and flicks Sukuna’s hand off, giving you a smile.

“What are you arguing about over here?” he asks, giving you a warm smile.

“Eren.”

“Oh, I just saw the pictures. Poor guy.” Yuuta says, an awkward hand rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yuuta. Got a question.” you say, propping up on your elbows.

You explain the whole situation to Yuuta. That you and Eren dated. And then you didn’t. And then he saved you from Ricky, that you guys were texting again, but he’s dating Hyla now, full on and out in the open. And then let him read the texts and ask him.

“Now tell me, Yuu. Who is in the wrong?”

“Sukuna.”

You give Yuuta a glimmering smile as Sukuna rolls his eyes, reaching forward to headbutt both of you down into the mattress. You both protest and smack him off, giving him the finger.

“The only person on this Earth who is more goo goo ga ga and down horrendous than you is Yuuta. You picked a biased person to intervene.” he says, seething.

“Did not. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, quit playing dumb, doll. Yuuta and Maki are worse than you and Eren. Break up, make up, argue loud as fuck in the middle of the street, just to be kissing in the park the next day.”

“You just don’t get it. You can’t relate to the situation, Sukuna. Sometimes you just can’t stay away. Have you ever been in love?”

“Every time I look at you, doll.”

“Ugh. You’re disgusting.”

“You love it.”

The bell rings outside the trailer, signaling the call time for set, and Sukuna makes it a point to give you his warning.

“You’re treading on thin ice, doll. And when you fall, it’s going to be no one’s fault but your own.”

“For someone who claims he’s not a disciple of Jesus, you sure like to act self righteous as fuck all the time.” you respond, pushing him into the food cart near the directors chair.

Sukuna rolls his eyes as he drags you by the arm to your chairs, propped up, as you watch Yuuta and Rika take their marks, with Annie and Yuuji in the back. Sukuna’s glaring at you, bloody murder, unable to drop what he’s talking about.

“Look. Even for normal people, it’s never a good sign to be friends with your exes. And I bet he’s already being suspicious as fuck, despite the fact that he puts this whole goofy best friend persona on and flirts with you once in a while.”

“He does not. He-he’s not like that, all calculated and manipulative. You know him, he’s like a walking cheeseball.”

“He was a walking cheese ball. But at some point, you become the people you surround yourself with.”

“Okay, Sukuna. I fucking hate it when you’re all cryptic as fuck. You go on and on about how fucked up the people Eren’s around are. But you never once say what they actually do.”

He frowns, glaring at you.

“Why do you think Connie and Eren are fighting?”

You pause, thrown off by the question.

“Connie and Eren aren’t fighting. They’re like best friends. Connie’s even going to be in his next movie, Sukuna.”

“You said it yourself. It’s weird that Connie hasn’t commented on Eren’s whole vomit-gate moment. They’re filming a movie together, but they haven’t taken any pictures. And I can bet you ten bucks that Eren hasn’t said shit about him being there.”

You don’t respond. Because he’s right. Eren hasn’t said anything about being there. And Connie hasn’t even talked to you in weeks.

“It bothers you, doesn’t it? That he’s pulling away?”

“Eren isn’t pulling away, Sukuna. He just has a girlfriend, it’s obviously not going to be the same between us as before.”

“Bullshit. You know he’s pulling away. What does he do? Forget to text back once in a while but then flirt to make it better? Tell you you’re pretty when pictures of him and Hyla drop? You’re ignoring every gut feeling you have about him because you want to keep him around.”

“Fuck you, Sukuna.” you respond, warm tears filling your eyes.

This is what you hate about Sukuna. His persistent need to point out things you so blatantly choose to ignore. That he pokes holes in what you and Eren have, valid holes that bother you at night, that only validate what you think is true.

You need Eren more than he needs you. You like Eren more than he likes you. And he’s going to leave you far behind, at the end of all of this.

Sukuna reaches forward, fingers swiping the tears off your cheeks as he rolls his eyes.

“Stop fucking crying.”

“You’re so rude.”

“I’m not rude. You’re just a bitch.”

You smack his face out of your space.

“When you’re ready for it, I’m here to help you. There’s nothing I do better than revenge, doll.”

You scoff.

“Save your unadulterated rage for the camera. And don’t get too excited when I lean in to kiss you.” he responds, tucking your hair behind your ear and giving you a wink as he slides over to his mark.

You’re going to kill him.

Six weeks of freedom from Sukuna and you’re hiding in the bushes with Armin, Annie, Connie, Sasha, and Marco next to you. Hands locked together as you watch Jean and Mikasa in the distance. And you make your best efforts not to cry, to not fully sob at the second time you’ve been able to witness a love so warm.

It’s all so soft. So warm, so sweet, so much like Levi and Hange’s vow renewal that it makes your heart swell, to the biggest of shapes, for the two of them.

Mikasa is getting engaged. Engaged to Jean, who has always been so sure of her. So quick to run to her defense, to love her like it’s his second nature. They’re going to be together, by each other's side, drunk at award shows and holding hands in taxis for the rest of their lives.

Mikasa is wearing a white dress, soft and willowy, with her low cut Doc Martens. You convinced her that you just wanted to take her out for brunch, drive by the ocean a little bit before you leave town again. Because Jean had approached you, all squirrel like and antsy, and showed you the beautifully ornate ring he had gotten her and asked you to help her.

And Jean. Sweet Jean, he’s fumbling with the box in the pocket as he talks to her. You can’t hear what they’re saying, but you can quickly tell that Mikasa is comforting Jean. That he’s stumbling over his words, his feelings, but she’s standing there and holding his hand. Walking him through them.

And then Jean’s on one knee. Smiling up at her so hard he’s squinting, soft tears falling out of his eyes and her surprised expression. And she brings her hand up to her chest, right over her heart and falls to her knees to meet him, the two of them hugging each other so hard that it makes your chest squelch.

“Crybaby.” Marco mutters, reaching over to swipe your tears.

“Shut up.”

You look back at them, at Jean and Mikasa lying down in the grass tangled in each other's arms, and can’t wait any longer. The five of you - Marco, Annie, Armin, Sasha, and you - run up and pile on, the six of you crying in each other's arms, pink faces. Armin snaps a polaroid picture of Jean and Mikasa - her hands wrapped around his face and the softest look on his face when he smiles back at her. And then one of you and Marco crying, holding each other for good measure.

You reach for Mikasa’s hands the second Jean finally lets her go to hug Armin and Marco and your eyes are positively burning.

“Oh, Mika. I’m so, so happy for you.”

She’s crying. Her cheeks are pink, her eyes are red, and she has the full marks of love on her face. The softest kind of love.

“Thank you, Y/N. You-you’re a treasure. I love you. Thank you for not letting me wear that ugly green dress earlier.”

You laugh, wrapping your arms around her, and press a kiss to the side of her face.

Your heart aches. For green eyes, brown hair, and a soft smirk that no one else gets to see. For snarky comments, for shameless flirting, for every hurt feeling in your chest being smoothed over like it was nothing.

Jean and Mikasa make you long, long so ruefully for this feeling. The way they look at each other, the way he keeps tissues in all his pockets because she gets sniffly outside, how Mikasa is the only person who can handle him. The feeling you used to have.

You’ve decided then and there. You’re going to get him back. And luckily for you, you’re flying to Seattle and in nine hours you’ll be there with him. On his birthday, with all this love you’re going to share again.

You’re fish together. You’re not swimming forward without him.

“Hey. Where’s Con? We should get ready to leave soon.” Armin asks, pointing at his watch.

You look around at the crowd of you, Marco holding Mikasa’s hand in his as he admires the ring and gives Jean a smile.

Where is Connie?

You shrug as you tell Armin to stay, to keep taking pictures of the two of them, as you march around the garden, looking around for him. And you find him, knees hiked to his chest, crouched over with red eyes and a pink nose. You immediately reach for him and place your hand on his shoulder, which he immediately flinches at and then releases.

“Connie?” you ask, caught off guard.

He relaxes when he realizes it’s just you and aggressively wipes the back of his hand against his nose and smiles.

“Hey. My bad, they just got me too emotional in there. Fucking saps they are, I just love them so much.”

“Okay. Con, are you okay? You-you don’t look so good.”

He smiles again and it doesn’t reach his eyes. He’s sweating and…green. He places his hands against your cheeks and squeezes, his voice soft when he talks.

“Always the type to worry, aren't you? I promise I’m fine, Y/N. Help me finish packing because I actually didn’t start.”

“Huh? We leave in like an hour.”

“Exactly why I need your help!”

He stands up and pulls you along with him, your arms linked together, as you recruit Armin and Marco to help you pack. And you ignore the feeling, as you climb on the plane, nestled in between Armin and Connie, and focus on the important thing.

Brown hair, green eyes, and the soft smile.

You’re getting him back.

next part linked here

an, again: guess who is getting blocked on his birthday. eren no middle name jaeger.

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