#Honestly i just do not have any preference

[meanbossart]

Ask compilation: I'm Starting To Think That This Drow Guy Is Kind Of An Asshole Edition.

Probably a Ranger in the hunter subclass. I actually intended to multi-class him as fighter/ranger at some point and make that his official class, but I haven't had time/quite figured out the best build that would still suit him - Ranger makes a LOT of sense with his backstory, arguably more than fighter, but he's still supposed to be a magic-less brick-house with 19 strength who hasn't handled a bow and arrow in 10 years, so I'm not sure where that leaves us LOL

A lot of people have suggested that Berserk Barbarian would fit him well, but I think that implies a lot of other characteristics that do NOT suit him at all so 🤷

HE DIDN'T EVEN GO TO THE CRECHE, and honestly it made the game feel much more immersive to pick one path and stick to it like Halsin suggested, even if I did have to endure the shadow cursed lands without the shiny mace 😂

Probably for the best, it'd be a real shame if the story ended there just because he didn't like Vlaakith's attitude.

But yeah Lae'zel (who, for the record, I adore) never stood a chance in his playthrough. Sorry baby girl.

I'm either uninformed or we have different definitions of what constitutes a crush, but sure I'll play in this space LOL

He's both jealous but also kind of aloof when it comes to things like that. It's yet another symptom of his arrogance, where it seems unfathomable that anyone who has him would be genuinely tempted by someone else. He doesn't mind a normal amount of glance-stealing and flattery, even playful flirting to a degree, but if there's persistence or if his partner seems to seek another person out for things he thinks he should be providing, he feels threatened.

Also, he has a difficult time discerning that "deep emotional connection" does not equal "romantic interest". So, at least immediately after the events of the game, he's more likely to be made insecure by his partners forming deep bonds with others than any throwaway expression of physical desire or fleeting infatuation.

[MORE UNDER THE CUT]

Let me preface this with the (hopefully unnecessary) disclaimer that this murderous dark-elf's opinions are not my own, and that I very much purposefully made a bit of an asshole character because I find that entertaining.

And now that you're hopefully primed for what's coming - DU drow is pretty damn judgemental of people's looks save for the rare times when they give him a good impression right off the bat. He notes people's appearances and makes preemptive assumptions about them without even realizing it. He definitely does not equal beauty to value or prowess (in fact he will very much still mock of you if you seem too concerned with your appearance) but he does prescribe things based on looks.

I don't think he'd take issue with what you're describing, It sounds like a pretty average body, but he would assume that person is weaker and less fit to "keep up with him", basically. Which kind of diminishes interest.

As far as to what he finds immediately attractive, he definitely prefers people who seem physically fit (not more than himself though - gods forbid). But, the caveat to this whole tangent is that once you get past initial impressions, he could definitely come to be sexually attracted to pretty much any type of body attached to the person he's in love with.

Thank you! There was no main event, just the building up of resentment over time and the opportunity she saw opening up when the Chosen's plan came into motion. She definitely didn't always hate him though, they had a fairly close relationship until his obsessive behavior and arrogance became an issue.

Thank you!!!

They call him the/that drow, dark elf, or "big drow" if there's more than one present. In private they might facetiously call him Bhaalspawn if they get tired of referring to him by race.

I'll be honest, I forgot whether or not I found it in his playthrough LOL but if he did stumble across that would be VERY funny. He'd be like "look at these idiots and their fake murder god. What kind of dimwit would worship carnage as a religion. Hey Shadowheart get a load of this-"

HAPPY YOU ENJOY HIM! I think his unique situation overall with having been such a overwhelmingly horrid person and forgetting all about it is my favorite bit. That's kind of vague, I know, but I often think of dreams I've had where I committed a crime or did something horrible, and that immediate feeling of relief and disconnect that follows immediately after waking up. That's kind of what I imagine it's like for him - he knows of the things he did, but he doesn't really. In theory it's all true but that's a truth far too fantastical for anyone to conceptualize even if it's put right in front of your face.

That, tackling the guilt (or lack thereof) of something you genuinely don't feel like you've done and the intricacies of it, that's a fascinating state of mind to explore. I love how many directions you can take that.

For me, having a character who is not good, but is not necessarily pure unadulterated evil, makes for a lot of complex thought experiments and contradictory values. DU drow has a lot of those - things he believes and abides by absolutely except for this specific instance, being contradictory is a pillar of his character and it can be a little challenging to keep up with it - but I'd be lying if I said I don't deeply enjoy that aspect as well all the same.

THANK YOUUUU It took me so long to figure out how to draw Astarion in a way I liked, I'm so relieved that others enjoy it too 😂

Shockingly he did succeed it and was immediately put-off by it, lmao. They wouldn't really develop much of a relationship for a while after that, so at that point DU drow just figured he was trying to get something from him and wrote him off, much as he did with everyone else with the exception of Shadowheart.

He didn't meet her at the Tiefling grove! I didn't even know you could meet her before-hand for the longest time. But he did super, duper kill her at camp of course.

He managed to hide the body and everyone else was none the wiser, huge blood bhaal-sigil on the ground aside lmao. He was a little shocked but didn't feel all that bad about it, kind of resigning to that primal feeling of satisfaction at a job-well-done that overwhelmed him instead. He decided she was too weak to survive out there and he had just spared her the trouble.

[izzystizzys]

the thing about being the highest-ranked and most-decorated officer in any GAR/Guard capacity, fox thinks, is that unsurprisingly nobody could give less of a shit or listen to anything he says. it’s not like he earned those medals and recognitions and perfect test scores or anything, now is it, kote?

or, after the zillo beast disaster, the coruscant guard medbay just so happens to be much closer than the GAR one, and surprise surprise, senators don’t want meatdroids to be treated in their facilities after they’ve just protected them with their lives. fox tries to reason against this. fox is unsuccessful, because no one listens to fox.

which is how he finds himself crammed into a corner along with cody, ponds, bly, rex and their jedi, looking out across a medbay which is quite frankly a goddamn disaster rivalling the fight with the zillo beast in proportions. skywalker tries to step out towards one of the medics, and has to be pulled back by the collar of his shirt by amidala, squawking loudly when he’s nearly rammed over by mauler, crucifix and a shrilly screaming crash cart.

it’s not like fox said this would be a bad idea or anything.

“um, vod”, cody begins, unsure, “what’s - is that guy sewing wooley up with thread?!”

meathook, who is in fact sewing wooley up with thread, and looks about as happy about it as his patient, and who fox honestly thought was going to cry when he announced the influx of patients about to descend on them, snaps something about triage over his shoulder at hound, whose arm is decidedly bent in a way it shouldn’t be, jerking his head to gesture at the rickety cot next to cody’s ARC. fox is pretty sure they salvaged the thing from a dumpster. he slaps a bandage on the stitches that fox fears might be from the same dumpster.

“putting those advanced reconnaissance training skills to use, kote”, says fox, who invariably turns into the worst possible version of himself whenever cody opens his mouth within a klick of his vicinity.

skywalker harrumphs, evidently at the end of his impressive patience. “well, why?! hey, trooper! these men need bacta!”

“do they, now? i’m sorry, i hadn’t noticed”, a low voice hisses angrily behind them, and fox is the only one who doesn’t jump on account of he’s too dead inside to be scared of his CMO anymore. a grave error, he’s sure. “i guess i’ll just go pull some out of my ass along with a tank and painkillers, then! hadn’t thought of that yet!”

warcrime, whose eye is twitching and who is holding a bloody saw in visible consideration of using it, pins skywalker with a look that has had shinies all over the guard peeing themselves. “we don’t have any fucking bacta, you absolute numbskull.”

“but that can’t be right”, cody pipes up again, next to a very troubled looking generals kenobi and windu. fox sympathises very much with the patented migraine-glare on windu’s face. “why do you not have any bacta?”

“because i like to smear meiloorun juice all over my patient’s stab wounds, commander”, warcrime says. “it’s a homeopathic medicine thing. because the chancellor refuses to give us any, genius.”

“what?!” skywalker says, bristling. “that can’t be true! he wouldn’t -“ he’s cut off by his comm pinging loudly over the moaning and crying in the medbay, and warcrime leaning close enough to be heard with a whisper.

“well, he would, and if you don’t believe me, there’s a holorecording of him telling marshal commander fox why biological weapons on the homefront have lower priority and therefore half rations of everything. now get out of my medbay or find out why they named me warcrime, sir.”

amidala, the collective braincell holder for both her husband and the senate combined (on occasion), tugs him out of the way of warcrime’s bonesaw and ire. fox, who very much enjoys not being the primary target of a medic for once, unfortunately also has to be the adult in the room. “sirs, a transfer to the GAR barracks medbay might be a preferable- AH, MOTHERFU-“

“get him, stabby!”, rabid whoops from where he’s resetting thire’s nose, who echoes a much more nasal and muffled, “go, ftabby!”

“get kriffing FUCKED, stabby, you absolute-“, fox seethes, trying to swipe for the medic’s head and nearly planting one on cody instead by accident, who unfortunately manages to evade the swing fox is admittedly projecting very obviously on account of the sedation hypo jammed into his flank.

“medbay rules, sir”, stabby calls, dancing away towards mauler and his crash cart, while someone bumps something solid and flat against the backs of fox’s thighs that he can’t help but tumble back on, already seeing two codys and blys dancing around his vision. “commander fox protocol dictates he is to be helped to sleep as often as possible, sir.”

“a desperate but well-founded measure, i’m sure”, kenobi of all people agrees, and fox waves an unsteady hand in what might be the general’s direction to the sound of cody’s scandalized gasp. “as you were, officer… stabby.”

“traitors”, fox slurs, just as his com-unit begins to ping with an urgent notification. before he can try and answer it, warcrime has ripped it off his arm and flung it somewhere out of his sight. eh, it probably wasn’t anything THAT important, fox thinks. and if he wakes up two days later to a near-hysteric meathook kissing the glass casing of the guard’s brand new bacta tank over and over again, he decides to just roll over and go back to sleep.

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 13)

To be honest, Uzi didn't entirely understand why she'd had N leave that night.

Maybe she was just overwhelmed with it all, or maybe she was truly broken in some way; addicted to making herself suffer needlessly.

But as she lie in bed, night coming again rapidly, she realized she'd gotten exactly zero sleep, being unable to stop her thoughts from turning back to overheating yet again.

She knew the incident had been her fault, N had warned her about pushing it, her own body had warned her twice that she'd been pushing it, both telling her to stop and she simply didn't, too frustrated and too worried about the future to take even half a second and think.

She'd been lucky that the only person she hurt was herself. What if she'd lost control again? If she'd gone nuts and hurt N and her Dad or anyone else in the bunker until her body had been satiated. If it ever could be.

And yeah, it had hurt like hell. And had scared the shit out of her (and N, for that matter.) But in comparison to all the other things that could happen, it was a better outcome. Even if it was still pretty traumatic.

“Uzi, N's here!” She heard her dad shout loudly, but even then it was highly muffled through the thick steel of the door. She slowly got out of bed, head full of static and heavy to the point that it could have been made from steel as well.

Her hair was a mess, and she hadn't even bothered to put on her beanie or her hoodie, just the loose yellow T-shirt she slept in.

The door opened, Khan was chattering to N, who honestly didn't look much better than she did, his eyelights and visor a little dim, lines under his eyes that made him look incredibly exhausted and much older.

“You look like a wreck.” She said, even though she didn't look nor feel any better, both men turned to look at her, Khan looking worried, N just smiling tiredly.

“Didn't sleep very well…” N replied, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, he blinked and looked her up and down.

“Same…” She yawned, doing the same to him.

“You two look like you didn't sleep a wink!” Khan exclaimed, looking between them both, hurrying to the kitchen and pulling out two mugs, N watched him curiously, fighting the urge to pull Uzi into a hug and possibly drag them both back to bed.

“Here.” Khan handed them both a cool, iced mug with a thin darkened liquid in it, N swished the liquid around, causing the ripples to flash some deep golds.

“It's gasoline. Should perk you two up.” Khan explained, looking satisfied with himself.

“Isn't this usually hot dad?” She asked, clinking the ice around in the mug.

“Yes! But I thought with both of your coolant problems… something cold might be better!”

Uzi was mildly surprised he'd even paid that much attention. She'd never outright told him exactly what was going on but it wasn't like she was actively hiding it either. She shrugged, tipping it into her mouth.

It was bitter. Very bitter. And she felt her core stutter before picking up it's pace enough to make her a little nauseous, but the static in her head began to ebb away. She wasn't sure if she was a fan…

N on the other hand seemed to down his immediately, ice and all. And when he pulled it from his mouth he licked his lips, eyes hollow.

“Oh wow! That was really good Mr. Doorman.” He smiled, and Khan smiled back, it was actually kinda weird seeing Khan be as friendly as he was must have been some talk.

“Thank you. It's actually the way Uzi's mother preferred it…” He mentioned idly, looking a little sad for a moment before seemingly shaking it off.

Uzi looked down at her drink again, she… didn't actually remember that. She wasn't a baby with Nori had passed, but she was rather young, and it had been awhile.

She did, eventually, finish the mug, thinking about way she might be able to make it more palatable for herself. Maybe if it was sweeter?

“We should head out soon, Tera gets upset if we're late.” N smiled warmly, as a way to gently guide rather than demand she get her ass into gear and get ready. She couldn't help but smile back.

“I know, little gremlin has our schedule memorized at this point.” She laughed lightly, setting her mug in the sink and making her way to her bedroom, shutting the steel door securely behind her so she could get ready.

“Uhm… Mr. Doorman?” N began after he was sure she'd take a hot minute to get ready. Khan turned to him inquisitivlely, his brow on his eyelights raised.

“Yes N?”

“Is it… uh. Is it possible for me to move in to the bunker? I just… If Uzi ever needs to stay over again, it's probably better if it's not… there.” He was nervous, and also a little bit flustered. He didn’t want Khan to suspect his crush, but he also didn't want to lie.

Khan was silent for a moment, taking great care to study N for a moment, he felt his tail twitching, and his fingers fidget in that nervous habit he had.

“Is this something just for my daughter N?” He asked, suspicion in his voice that made N feel more nervous then it had any right to. He was just asking a question, It wasn't like he was asking Khan for his blessing or anything.

Where did that thought come from?

“I mean, it's for me too. And possibly V? It kinda feels really weird living there now with being here so much. It's… a little uncomfortable.” He admitted.

“Hmmm, there is plenty of space here, I'd have to get them ready though…” Khan trailed off in thought for a moment. Then looked into N eyelights like he was trying to find an answer.

“I don't see why you and… your sister? Can't move in here. And I would feel more comfortable if I knew my daughter wasn't sleeping in… well you know.” N noded, looking equally as uncomfortable, but is mood quickly lightened.

“She's not my sister, but that would be awesome!” He nearly vibrated a hole in the floor, this had gone better then he'd imagined!

“No proble-”

He was interrupted by Uzi's bedroom door snapping open, and Uzi herself coming out a moment later, typical hoodie and beanie although holding a bag in her left hand.

“Ready, let's go?” She asked, walking right past the both of them and leaning on the door. The two men exchanged looks before N waved him off, following his best freind out the door to visit the nursery.

Khan smiled warily to himself, N… wasn't very good at hiding anything was he? And despite his instinctual urge to be against it (his daughter with a murder drone!?) He couldn't exactly find the will to, not when N had been there in the way he'd always seemed to be. And his daughter seemed so happy…

The way to the nursery was silent, not out of any awkward tension but neither drone felt the need to, it was comfortable. Just enjoying existing in the same space, at least until N spoke up.

“You sure you're up for this? You seemed really tired.” His voice was soft, as always. And Uzi felt the butterflies again, surely a few words couldn't trigger them right? She wasn't that down bad for him…

“Y-yeah, I'm fine.” Was all she said, because any more and she'd be stammering like a little schoolgirl. Holy crap she was…

N looked down at her hand swinging loosely beside her, for a moment he imagined what it would be like to hold it. Casually, without trauma involved. Would she let him? Would she slap his hand away?

He didn't realize he was drawing closer until he grazed one of her fingers. He pulled away immediately, blush threatening to make him explode. He really hoped she hadn't noticed.

She very much had noticed. And it made her core leap for a moment, thinking he was going to hold her hand before he abruptly moved away. Causing her face to fall.

Had it been an accident? He did seem to be in thought when he was getting closer. Maybe he was just tired, and didn't realize. It did sting a little… knowing that he didn't want to hold her, like this, when things were normal.

They walked in to the nursery, both looking upset for different reasons but the same reason. Not that either of them knew that.

“I was wondering when you two would stop by. Tera was getting cranky.” Mrs. Rayn waved at them, holding said droneling. Who was currently screaming bloody murder while she tried and failed to calm her down.

“I got it!” Uzi exclaimed, taking the baby from her and holding her tightly, shushing her, setting down the bag in her hand on one of the waiting chairs.

“Hey, we're here. No need to get all angsty on us.” She said to Tera softly, and the wailing receded somewhat, but it wasn't like it made her instantly happy, at least until she saw N as well.

“Awww, it's alright kiddo, sorry we were late.” He hummed softy, he rested a hand on her, large enough to completely cover her if he wasn't careful, they looked at her together, faces sharing a single expression.

Rayn smiled, these two were utterly in love with Tera, but neither seemed to want to entertain the idea of adopting the little droneling. She could guess why, they were both young, and likely didn't want to rush into anything.

And yet watching them both doting on her, she noticed the lingering touches N would leave whenever he and Uzi made contact, a hand on her shoulder that didn't seem to want to leave, his entire face twisted up into a smile that reached his visor. It was like he was magnetized to her, struggling to pull away if she was close enough to him.

Uzi was… not as noticeable, but she would lean into him slightly whenever he was there, a smaller smile but etched on her features like it would stay there. Her voice locked into something far sweeter then normal that seemed to bleed into even when she was speaking to N, like they were both equally precious and special.

They were absolutely totally in love with each other, which anyone with even one eye and half a brain could figure out just by standing in a room with the two of them for any significant amount of time.

And Rayn began to hope that they'd change their mind. Because Tera deserved parents that loved her, and parents who loved each other. Which unfortunately wasn't as common as she'd wished, she'd seen so many come and go through her nursery doors, either to combine thier code or to print a body for already combined code. Many, too many, wanted a baby for the wrong reasons; to keep a failing relationship together, because they felt pressured, or sometimes, because they were forced to.

Rayn watched as Uzi pulled out a roll-toy from her bag, one that was handmade by the look of it, as it was purple with little yellow stars on it, it jingled slightly, but thankfully not loud enough it was annoying.

“I think she likes it Zi.” She heard N point out as Tera rolled with the toy, giggling louder as it jingled around in Uzi's arms. Her smile faded slowly, and then her face looked deliberative.

“Mrs Rayn?” Uzi asked, looking up from the pillbaby, N was still by her side, distracting the little one by making moving pictures on his visor, Rayn was actually kinda impressed, not many drones had that kind of control over what their visor displayed.

“Yes?”

“Why is Tera still here? It's been a few weeks. Shouldn't she have been adopted by now?” She asked, cocking her head to the side.

Ah. That.

“Ah… Tera seems to… have an issue.”

“What kind of issue?” It was N this time, now looking up at her as well, concern on both of their faces like worried parents.

“The nurses in the medical bay are unsure if it's a software or hardware issue but, she has an overheating problem…if it's a hardware issue then it should be a non-issue in her next body.”

“But if it's the soft she'll need oil the rest of her life…” Uzi finished for her, looking down at the pillbaby with worried eyes. Tera had calmed down and was now smiling at the two of them, oblivious to the conversation.

“Correct, it's not something many people want to deal with in a child. I haven't had many prospective parents come take a second look at her.” Rayn said sadly, it was a tragedy really, she was such a happy droneling, and rarely seemed upset (unless her two favorite almost-adults weren't around that is.) Even when she'd gotten too warm due to her issue, she rarely complained.

“W-what happens if you can't find someone to take care of her?” N asked, but before Rayn could answer, Uzi did for her.

“She’ll be raised by the nursery until she's old enough.” She said simply, rocking the droneling slowly, N heard Uzi's vents begin to take in more air, as if she was trying to cool herself off.

“Oh…” Was all that came out of N's mouth, and they both looked down at Tera, who was now babbling at them happily.

They exchanged a worried glance, almost having a silent conversation between them before looking back at the droneling, her eyes intently staring at N.

“Eeeee Ennnn…” Came wobbly and slow out of Tera’s tiny speakers, N felt his core stop beating as he realized;

“Are you trying to say my name…?”

“En mbuh… En!” She squeaked, rolling happily, still in Uzi's arms.

“Uzzzziiii” He squealed, shaking his best freind as he freaked out over Tera’s first word being his name, not paying any attention to the fact it was only a single letter.

“I hear her buddy.” Uzi's smile stretched a mile wide as Tera continued to squeak out his name “En! En! En!” N's tail wagging so fast she was a little concerned he'd loose control of it.

"You're going to make N blow a gasket little one." She booped Tera's visor, making the droneling giggle before looking at her instead.

“Zuh…” Was the next sound out of her mouth, and Uzi's attention was brought back down, that almost sounded like…

“Zi! Zi! Zi!” She squealed, Uzi felt her core break in half as Tera continued on, now alternating between saying her name and N's.

“Oh my robo-god…” She whispered, feeling herself getting choked up, she looked at N again, only to find him with a smile just as big as hers, almost without thinking, she wrapped her hand in his, needing some sort of comfort for the moment.

He didn't pull away, this time and placed one of his hands on her back, both drones melting as Tera continued, although neither quite knowing what to do next…

[tizeline]

Happy pride month and all!

I figured now was a good time to ask, but do you have any thoughts about the sexuality of the characters in your Sep AU?

Sorry if you’ve been asked already, and the answer can definitely be no, I’m just curious :)

Happy pride!! ✨

Here's the thing about headcanons about queer identities, I personally prefer to not get too stuck on specific labels. While there are exceptions, I generally try to remain flexible if that makes sense? As in I like having multiple different interpritation about characters' identities so deciding on One Particular Label can feel limiting to me.

I mentioned it before, but I do plan on making Capril an established relationship in the AU sooner or later, so April and Casey are definitely sapphic. But more specific than that? Are they lesbian or bi or pan or whatever?? I dunno!! It's not really relevant to the story so I might as well leave that up to interpretation.

My approach to creating stories is that I'll usually only decide on specific labels if it is plot relevant, Schrödingers Identity if you will, lol, it can be anything if you don't decide on it beforehand. Again, there are exceptions, Leo is gay 100% like duh I can't interpret him any other way XD. Splinter is a Bi-Icon and I will STAND BY THAT!

Raph, Donnie and Mikey? Man who knows, canon Donnie seems to be into girls at least so it's the same in the AU, but more specific than that I dunno, I'm not planning on the story really focusing on romance (aside from a little capril because every story needs sapphics that's like the law)

Actually, you know what I find fun? World building! I honestly tend to be more interested in how queer identities are viewed and treated in a story's world as a whole as opposed to induvidual character's identities. Human society in rottmnt seems to be mostly the same as our IRL society, but what about Yōkai society!? With how diverse yōkai are I think it'd be fun if people in The Hidden City just... didn't care about who you loved or what you identified as. As a result of that, I don't think yōkai would care that much about terminology and labels, you just kinda loved whoever you loved.

It'd be honestly be kinda interesting if Donnie and April used terminology that related to queer stuff and Raph, Leo and Mikey are just really confused. Like for example, April is complaining about one of her classmates who's homophobic and the The Drax Bros are just like "Home-phobic??? They're afraid of homes??" cuz the concept of discriminating against someone based on which gender they're attracted to is completely foreign to them. Actually, Leo might be more knowledgable about human queer culture considering he's interested in human cultures in general. He calls himself gay at one point and Draxum is all like "you're happy? good for you?" and he'd just be wondering why Leo is using such an old-timey word considering Leo doesn't exactly have the most advanced vocabulary.

[the-oblivious-writer]

Let The Light In |One-shot [1]|

Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader | Dewey Riley and Fem!Reader

One-shot: A Classic Whodunit

Summary: Moving to Woodsborro was certainly not your willing decision. Change has always been hard for you, so what better way to cope than to make everyone else's life almost as miserable as yours?

Warning(s): Swearing, & mentioned family issues (?)

Notes: Finally got around to re-writing this and I definitely prefer this version. There's more Tara x Reader stuff and a little more details regarding R's past. Still based off this scene from Gilmore Girls and takes place when R just moved to town. This'll still be the last thing I'm able to post for one my stories for a bit, but I'm glad it's still something

Masterlist

The fall breeze hits you as you walk out of the school building. You continued reading from your book as you walked with your head hung low paying no mind to your surroundings, too engrossed with the words you read. That was until you caught a glimpse of a familiar figure in the corner of your eye, your brief suspicions immediately being confirmed when the person spoke. 

Dewey—who was previously leaning against a pillar with his arms crossed—began to follow you, uncrossing his arms. “Hey,” he nodded at you and you didn’t reciprocate, only turning your head to look at him briefly before turning your attention ahead of you while putting your book in your back pocket. “How was school?” Dewey immediately followed with. 

“Great,” you couldn’t help the blatant disinterest in your tone. 

“Learn anything good?” You could already tell he was amping up to something. There was a certain eagerness in his voice. An eagerness to segway into what he truly wanted to talk about. 

“Oh yeah, tons of things. I got gold stars plastered all of my forehead,” you remarked with as much sarcasm you could muster at the moment. 

“I got an interesting call today. Wanna know who it was from?” He asked and you couldn’t care less. 

“Not really,” you answered honestly, your tone still showing anything but amusement.

“So Mr. Collier—you know he owns the local market?”

“If you say so.” 

“Said you came in today.”

“He did?” You rhetorically asked; you looked both ways before you and Dewey now walked alongside a road. 

“And he said you took some money out of a little donation cup to help repair the roads. I told him he was crazy, you wouldn’t do that, you weren’t a thief, that he was just trying to start trouble and then I hung up on him.” Most of what Dewey was saying was going in one ear and out the other. You’ve grown good at tuning people out, intentional or not. Still Dewey continued. “Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy hanging up on Mr. Collier. The guy’s nothing but a jerk—and he is crazy. But I was just wondering, if maybe, any of the other things were true.”

“What do you think?” You questioned with annoyance at the edge of your voice. You were starting to grow more and more impatient as he continued to yammer on. 

“I think if you tell me that what he’s saying is not true then I’m going to believe it’s not true,” he elaborated.

“Okay. It’s not true.” 

“That doesn’t sound very convincing—”

The two of you were now on a dirt path as you stopped in your tracks and finally turned to face Dewey. While one hand moved as you spoke, the other one was clenched into a fist to your side. “—Look, what exactly do you want from me? First I get forced to move here, now I’m stuck with you most of the time. I’m put in this place—now in a school that has us doing the pledge of allegiance in six-different-languages! I’m supposed to be this happy-go-lucky person after being taken away from my home, my friends—and now you want what from me?!” 

You didn’t need this. You were fine living in a crappy apartment. You were fine knowing the city you lived in like the back of your hand. You were fine having your best friend within walking distance. 

It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. Your father had no right to ship you off just because he couldn’t take his precious image being ruined. He was on the verge of sending you to military school before your mom stepped in. Their marriage had been falling apart for some time but this was definitely the nail in the coffin. 

“I’m just trying to help you,” Dewey sighed as his own patience was beginning to grow thin. Dewey knew about your complicated relationship with your father. He knew what led to you ending up in Woodsborro. He knew things about you before you even knew them. He just wanted to protect you, shield you from harm. Even if he knows where that has gotten him in the past.

“Well stop trying. Stop talking to me, stop following me, and stop asking me questions! Just stop!” You waved your hands in aggravation as you spoke, your temper and annoyance taking over you with each second. You were pissed and upset with every aspect of your life. Unfortunately, Dewey found himself being on the receiving end of your frustration. 

“That’s what you want?”

“Yes!”

“That’s what you really want?” He wasn’t yelling but his voice grew louder with his second question to match your own tone.

“Yes,” you spoke with more conviction. 

“Fine. You got it, kid!” Dewey said as he threw his hands up.

“Thank you!”

“You’re welcome!”

You both continued walking, both of you walking tensely as you stepped onto the bridge that went over the lake that was not far from where you two were previously standing. You each refused to look at the other as you walked along the bridge. When you were halfway on the bridge, you suddenly felt yourself being shoved. In a blink of an eye, you go from standing on the bridge to standing in the lake soaking wet. You pushed your hair back to look at Dewey who was still walking with his back facing you. He didn’t pay the person he just shoved into a lake any mind. 

Great.

By the time you successfully lifted yourself up and got back on to the bridge, Dewey was gone. Nobody liked soggy socks but maybe you deserved it. Maybe. Even if you were far too stubborn to admit it. 

—

The next day people were crowded around Mr. Collier’s store. He was ranting about something with his hands going up and down as he spoke angrily. When Tara walked closer she finally saw what all the ruckus was about. 

Apparently someone had drawn the outline of a body right outside of his store and put up caution tape. It was obviously just a prank.  If there was actually a murder, the police wouldn’t let it hit daylight. Let alone bring attention to it by drawing an outline of the body with white chalk. They weren’t living in the interwar period. But Mr. Collier refused to see this as he argued with Sheriff Hicks, eyes flickering back and forth from the sheriff and the outline as he yelled. 

“What am I supposed to do?! I have a dead body right in front of my store!” 

“No. You have a chalk outline of a dead body in front of your store,” she said as a matter of fact. “One of my guys is doing a headcount to see if anyone is missing. Until then just sit tight? This is probably just some prank done by one of the highschoolers.” She sighed before walking away from the dramatic man. 

Tara couldn’t help but laugh as she looked over at the outline again. Nothing good ever happened in Woodsborro. Other than the fact that a few murders from the 90’s are practically a part of their school curricula, it was a boring ass town. So one should never take entertainment like this for granted. 

Sheriff Hicks came back just a few minutes later and informed everyone—mainly Mr. Collier—that everyone had been accounted for and it really was just a prank. 

“But it looks so real! Where’d they get the police tape?” The man was still in disbelief if his tone was anything to go by.

“Kids have their ways,” Hicks shrugged, resting a hand on her hips. She had gone through ghostface before and even her ptsd wasn't flaring up from what was in front of her. The man needed to relax.

“Who would be depraved enough to pull a stupid prank like this?!” 

As if on cue, Tara’s eyes found you leaning against a light pole across the street as you wore a devilish smirk. It shifted into a small smile when you met her eyes. You looked away for a moment then back at her before you walked away. 

Of course it was you. This had your name plastered all over it. You might as well have been posing at the scene of the crime. She should have known better. You have been wreaking havoc from the moment you stepped into town. Nothing good ever came from that stupid smirk she’s become all too familiar with. Everything about you annoyed her to no end. There was just something she couldn't put her finger on. It was driving her insane. You were going to drive her insane. 

—

The next day, Tara returned to the market so she could fulfill her duties as the snacks retriever for tonight’s movie marathon with the others. After seeing that everything—your mess—was cleaned up and Mr. Collier was less frantic, she made her way inside the market. While inside, she bumped into Wes. They talked for a few minutes as she continued shopping. Wes was nice, but romance wise? Tara didn’t know how to feel. Wes is kind, good looking, a gentleman—what was stopping Tara from going out with him?

“I’m going to ring these up but I’ll meet you outside?” Tara said to Wes and he nodded with a smile. Tara returned it before checking out the things she bought and waited outside the store for Wes with her plastic bags full of snacks in hand. She suddenly felt a light tap on back before she turned around and saw you.

“Should you be standing around here all alone? I heard this is a pretty dangerous corner,” you teased while emphasizing the word ‘pretty’ by motioning with your hands. Tara looked at you then immediately looked away as she crossed her arms.

“I’m fine,” she said—trying in a nonchalant tone.

“Feeling succinct today?” You looked her up and down, noticing her tense demeanor.

“Pretty much.” She refused to give you anymore than that. She was not going to buckle. She was not going to fall for your witty remarks or snide comments.

“Hm,” you said while lightly nodding. “Did I do something to offend you?”

“Me? No.” Now she was finally looking at you, meeting your eyes.

“Good.” 

“You might wanna ask that same question to Dewey though.”

“Meaning?” You raised your eyebrows as if you didn’t have a single clue.

From your facial expressions to your tone—how were you so unbothered? How could you be so clueless? So dense? Fuck it. Maybe she was going to buckle and fall but you were just too irritating to resist the temptation. “You’ve got this whole town coming down on him,” Tara’s voice became more defensive.

“Reeeally? How’d I do that?” You feigned a look of surprise and concern, matching your conceited tone

She was going to punch you.

“You know how you did that,” she replied because you couldn’t be that dull. You just couldn’t. 

“I’m quite familiar with the bluebook laws in this town so you’re talking about a lot of things. Dropping a gum wrapper, strolling arm and arm with a member of the opposite sex on a Sunday,” you satirized with that vexing voice of yours.

Maybe you were that dull. Tara pointed down with both her arms at the chalk you both stood on. They were able to clean up the police tape no problem, but the chalk was going to take more elbow grease. 

You looked to where she was pointing before saying, “Ah.” You moved your feet off of the outline before continuing, “What about it?”

“You did it,” Tara said. “Everyone knows you did it. They had a meeting about it.”

“You actually go to those bizzaro town meetings?” You couldn’t help but laugh at the thought. You shook your head, “God those things are so To Kill A Mockingbird.” 

“My friend’s mom is a sheriff, so she’s the one who went. And Dewey went. When he got there everyone ganged up on him. They all want you gone,” Tara told you with no remorse.

“Wow. Bummer.”

“And he’s standing there, yelling at everyone, and defending you—now he’s a pariah for the shit you’ve caused in just a month of being here.” You looked down to the side, processing what you were just told. You wore a look Tara wasn’t able to read. “Of course you don’t care about any of this,” she rolled eyes.

“I didn’t say that,” you said. 

“Go away. I don’t want to talk to you anymore,” she waved you away with her hands, shooing you, before looking away.

“Fine…” You started to walk away but Tara’s frustration got the best of her and you stopped and turned back around when you heard her speak again. 

“You’re an asshole!” 

“Got a second wind, huh?” You tried to hide the displeasure you suddenly felt.

“You’re making his life hard. And for what? For your own amusement? You’re sadistic.” You could tell she had been holding that in. You also wouldn’t comment on how you found the pout she was wearing a little cute. “Second wind over.”

“I didn’t realize they were coming down so hard on him…”

“Funny, I never pegged you as clueless,” Tara remarked, annoyance still evident in her voice.

“I get it…” She gave you a look. “No no no, I do, I get it,” you lightly nodded at her. Contrary to your previous tone, your voice now held interest and understanding—and so did the look you gave her. Your eyes flickered between her and the chalk outline before asking the question that’s been in the back of your mind, “Did you at least think it was funny?”

Tara tried to fight the smile on her face as she rolled her eyes, but this time rolling them in a more playful manner. “That is so not the point!” She hoped you didn’t hear the laugh that threatened to come out. 

“Yeah… you thought it was funny,” you said proudly. 

“Shut up.” She could no longer meet your eyes, now looking back at the ground.

Before either of you could say anything else, the door to the market opened and Wes walked out with a few bags of his own. “I got the—oh hey,” Wes cut himself off to greet you.

He didn’t know you personally, just that you already had a few run-ins with his mom in just a month of being here. Did that make him weary of you? Sure. But you weren’t the first kid at his school to have run-ins with his mom. Your reasons were just more… creative. 

“This is Wes,” Tara introduced the two of you. Looking between you both as you two made eye contact.

“Boyfriend?” You asked without looking away from Wes.

“No! I mean,” she cleared her throat. “No. Not boyfriend. We’re just friends.”

“Right,” was all you said as a reply while you continued to stare him down. “How you doin’?” 

“Good. Yeah I’m good,” Wes responded with a tightlipped smile. 

“Okay see you around,” Tara quickly cut in before this awkward interaction could go any further. 

You finally turned your attention back on Tara, looking at her. “Seems to turn out that way. Doesn’t it?” Your tone was underlined with something Tara couldn’t place. Before she could respond, you turned around and walked away to who knows where.

You were truly something. 

—

You let Tara’s words sink in as you made a detour to Dewey’s trailer. Deep down you knew Dewey didn’t deserve the way you were coming down on him. Especially when you could probably say he’s done more shit for you than your father has. 

Moving to Woodsborro was definitely not at all ideal. You hated change and everything that came with it. All it did was bring more anxiety into your life. So when your mother informed you you would be leaving Brooklyn to move to some town in California, you didn’t handle the news well. You still weren’t handling it well. There were a few reasons as to why you moved, your father being the root of each one. But although you understood part of it, what you didn’t understand is why you had to move so far away. Maybe that’s part of why you’re so hard on Dewey. If your mom was moving and starting fresh, it makes sense she would want to start it surrounded by close friends. But did she have to pick one that lived so far away?

You didn’t know a bunch about her dynamic with Dewey other than the fact that they met in 1998 during the ghostface attacks. They eventually got close and became friends. They must have been great friends considering she made him your Godfather. 

You also knew Dewey was a former Sheriff. A former Sheriff that’s aware of your trip of a track record. He always made sure to keep an eye on you and it was extremely annoying. A nunsense really. It’s like you couldn’t breathe for five seconds without him hovering over you.

Your mom was a nurse, you didn’t get to see much of her. She always took as many shifts as she could, more shifts meant more money. More money is definitely something your family could use. Since your mom was always working, you often found yourself stuck with Dewey. You quickly grew sick and tired of him. But now here you were, making your way to Dewey’s trailer as you went over everything in your head. You knew you were the asshole in all this. Dewey was just trying to help you. He didn’t need you making it harder for him than it already was.

You knew what you had to do, even if it meant forcing out the words. Apologizing was not one of your specialties. You went over the exact words you wanted to say, sighing, before knocking on the door to Dewey’s trailer. 

Dewey answered the door, already knowing who it was. “Hey, kid,” he greeted just a second after he opened the door for you.

“Hey. Mind if I…?” You pointed to the inside of his trailer with raised eyebrows and he nodded before letting you inside. “So uh…” You shoved your hands in your pockets as you looked around as if you have never been in his trailer before. As if you hadn’t already spent most of your nights sleeping on the beat up mattress that was now leaned up against the wall. Dewey looked at you with his arms crossed and expression warm. You felt like he always wore a warm expression no matter what. “Hey,” you finally said once you realized you lost your train of thought.

He chuckled a bit before saying, “You already said that.”

“Right, well I wanted to…. Apologize,” you said while looking at the ground, playing with the fabric of your pockets.

“Okay. I’m listening,” Dewey replied as he took a seat on his futon.

“Oh, that was actually the apology.”

He hummed before inquiring, “For…?” You didn’t need to look at him to know he was enjoying this. 

You exhale, tilting your head back as you look at the ceiling. You finally looked back at him before saying, “I’m sorry for making things harder than it needs to be.”

“Thank you, Y/N. I appreciate that,” he looked at you with a soft expression. You didn’t get a lot of those.

“No problem,” you give a brief smile before you begin to turn around. But before you’re able to leave Dewey’s trailer, you hear his voice again. 

“Why don’t you stay for dinner? I know your mom’s working tonight and Stephen’s off at a friend’s house. What do you say?” His offer caught you off guard. You certainly weren’t expecting that after all that you’ve put him through. But you also didn’t feel prone to declining it like you usually would be. 

“Uh, yeah. That sounds nice, actually,” there was still a bit of reluctance in your voice but it still held honesty. You were feeling something indescribable. You don't think you have ever felt it before, or maybe you just never felt it often. Dewey cared about you. He wanted to be there for you. It was a strange feeling, but not a dreadful one. 

You spent the remainder of your night in Dewey’s trailer; you talked and joked with one another as you ate leftover pizza with the television playing in the background. You always ate dinner alone. No one was ever around to eat with you and it didn’t take long for you to get used to it. It was different eating dinner with Dewey. To have someone to share a meal with. It was just a matter of whether it was a good or bad difference. 

Maybe for once you shouldn’t dread on your spiraling thoughts and enjoy the moment.

The next morning, you woke up to Dewey cursing at his toaster. You lazily pushed yourself up by your elbows, leaning forward and rubbing your eyes with one of your hands. “Damn toaster!” You heard Dewey curse before you heard something clattering. You pushed your blanket off of you before rolling off of the mattress and onto the floor then got up to see what was going on. 

“Sorry, did I wake you?” He asked once he saw you before continuing to whack his toaster. 

“No. You’re good,” you yawned. “But—uh, why are you assaulting your toaster?” You looked between him and the toaster with raised eyebrows.

“I’ve had this hunk of junk for ten years and suddenly it just stops working,” he answered with a huff as he continued to hit the toaster's side. 

“I don’t know if ten years is suddenly.”

He waved his hands up in the air, purposely dropping the screwdriver he had on to the counter in the process. He let out a defeated sigh as he said, “Forget it,” pushing the toaster away from him. “I have to grab a few things. Are you going to be fine here or do you want me to drop you off?” 

You looked at the toaster as you thought to yourself. “I”ll be fine,” you said and he patted your shoulder as he made his way towards his keys. 

“Breakfast is on the table—I shouldn’t be out long!” He called out before leaving through the trailer door.  As soon as he left, you went for his tool box. You remembered seeing it the first time you came over. After grabbing the tool box, you grabbed the toaster and got to work. It actually wasn’t that bad. There was just some tightening and cleaning that had to be done. By the time you finished, you had a little over ten minutes to spare before Dewey was home. It wasn’t until later that night he noticed something was different about his toaster.

“My toaster works,” he said with shock. This toaster was complete garbage just a few hours ago. What happened? He looked over to see you with your nose in your book, not paying him any mind. Then it dawned on him and he couldn't help the smile that grazed his face as he looked at you. “Thanks, kid.” 

“Didn’t do anything,” you simply replied before getting up from your mattress and grabbing your light jacket. “I’m going for a walk,” you reached for the handle before pausing. “I'll be back in a few,” you then added before leaving.

Dewey was still admiring his toaster when you returned.

-----------

A/N: tara and r are both sarcastic little shits in different fonts

Taglist: @t-wylia @lesbianpepsi @jennasfav @alyciaddict @justafoolinlove @steffido1993 @niqmandu @severelyuniquereview @darklron @ravenousinferno @smut-religiously777 @beautifulmongerbanditsalad @vanatalye @alexkolax@andsoigotabutterfly @ajortga @rroyale-109 @alliecavell

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

Pls More general sfw headcanons of cooper and reader? Ghoul or pre war whichever you prefer honestly.

General SFW Prewar!Cooper Howard Headcanons 2

(I'll do some Ghoul SFW in a follow-up; this got away from me a little.)

Clearly he enjoys film and theatre, but he has a fairly secret soft spot for musicals. Pretty much any musical will pique his interest, and you'll spend a fair few date nights out seeing shows. You find it very endearing that he wants to share his interests with you. He's got an especially soft spot for some of the older, cheesier musicals though; hope you're ready to see "Brigadoon" like a half dozen times! He's got that one on tape.

"Old Yeller" is banned media in the Howard household (as are most things about dogs who die), as well as books like "The Velveteen Rabbit", which he read to Janey when she was four and never truly recovered from. Coop cries like a baby every time and gets so embarrassed. You once asked Janey if she'd ever seen it, and she tells you, rather conspiratorially, that she once watched it at a friend's house.

The old man actually cries quite easily when he's moved by something. He'll try to hide it away, but every once in a while he fully loses it (tbh it's the 'child death' type stuff that really upsets him; to this day, he's still a little mad at Barb for showing him "Bridge to Terabithia" on family movie night and thinking he would like it). You think it's the sweetest thing and you always reassure him that it's nothing to be ashamed of.

I imagine that, like a good, engaged father, he takes a particular interest in Janey's likes and hobbies; if you ask him what she likes, he can give you an entire list of things you can engage with her on, every single one of them accurate and up-to-date. If Janey really likes a book series, he'll read it (or maybe listen to it if he's short on time). If she really likes a band, y'all have fun at the concert! Every group comes through LA so you may be going to several concerts a year eventually. He even knows who her favorite member is! He only falls in love with you more when you do the same with her.

He's a true romantic at heart; despite being really torn up about the divorce and thinking he'll never fall in love again, he does, and hard. It's not long before he (unbelievably, to him especially) finds himself wanting to propose. He waits a while, though, wanting to feel out the dynamic between you and Janey, worrying about how Barb will feel when she ultimately finds out. He doesn't want to be married to her anymore, but he still cares for her, and he doesn't want to hurt her.

I'd like to think that he and Barb had a pretty nice, large wedding (as I've said before, likely at an older age than many of their peers, even if, canonically, it seems they were already dating during Cooper's military service; they both strike me as the type to want to wait until they were better established to actually marry). Not anything too crazy, but since Cooper's career was really starting to take off, she did want to use the wedding as an opportunity to rub elbows, so there were quite a few people in attendance that he flat-out didn't know. It didn't bother him much at the time; Barb always loved an opportunity to network and Coop could never deny her anything. But, given a chance to do it over, I think he'd do things differently.

With you, he'd wanna go to the courthouse. He'd be happy to have a nice, private ceremony eventually, maybe a little vow renewal for your one-year down on the beach in Mexico or something. But when you get legally married it'll be at the courthouse, just the two of you and Janey. You wouldn't have it any other way.

You try your best to keep it under wraps, but, well...marriage licenses are a matter of public record, and there are people whose whole job is to unearth things like that. The fallout (ha) from it may be stronger than you anticipated, but, at the end of the day, you have one another, and you're happy with that.

[charyou-tree]

I'm trying to hype myself up to come out to my parents as trans tomorrow. I'm planning on sending them a long letter I've been working on composing explaining the situation via email , with a text to prompt them to read it. I want to give everyone involved some time to formulate their thoughts before we talk.

I'm traveling home for 4th of july and although I haven't medically transitioned I really don't want to grow my beard back out, and I'd prefer not to lie and deflect about why I suddenly shaved. I'm probably overthinking it, but I just hate feeling like I'm keeping secrets from the important people in my life, and quite honestly I don't want to keep pretending to be a guy when I can safely get away with it. I've been agonizing over whether I was trans for years now, I want to stop hesitating and enjoy being a girl. And if I'm going to come out to them, I don't want to show up the day before a big family party and surprise them with a huge life event and have everybody have to process that on the spot as guests are arriving. I'd rather tell them sooner so that everyone has a few weeks to get used to the idea of me being a girl before I visit.

I'm fortunate, I'm 99% sure they'll accept me as Claire. I've already come out to them as Bi, as has my wife, and they've been cool with my trans and nonbinary friends. My folks were understanding when one of my cousins was struggling with their gender.

That only makes it so much less scary to explain to your parents that their idea of their child is wrong in a fundamental way, not to mention the danger that identity puts them in.

And more than just that, I feel like telling my family makes it real. Like, if I were to entertain the trans impostor syndrome in my head and decide that this was all a big mistake and un-come-out to my friends it would be a bit embarrassing, but ultimately nothing about my life would change in any meaningful way. But once my family and wider social circle knows a lot of people will see me fundamentally differently forever, no matter what I do. Once I share this secret I can't go back to comfortably pretending to be a guy even if I should want to. Now being trans isn't just a fun roleplay that I do for my internet friends (and a tiny circle of IRL friends), now its my actual fulltime identity. Its a scary but necessary step.

I know I won't regret doing it, but the minutes between sending them that email and getting a call back will be some of the longest in my life. I've been stressing about it all week, I need to get this over with.

[wickjump]

LGBTQ+ headcanons (or canon stuff i dunno) NOW!! /lh

OK!!!!!!!! um i’m just gonna get thru the main ones but i got hcs for kinda everyone. btw these r all gonna b lame bc i’m not creative. i’m fond of most lgbt+ headcanons out there tho, i’m not picky. these r just the ones i’m most fond of,,,

INK IS ENBY!!!! he/they non binary… ilove u ink… the he they is canon but the enby part isn’t. but hes still enby to me. they’re aroace with a queerplatonic preference towards men but ultimately they don’t really care too much. his assigned gender is between him and his memory loss (they forgot)

dream my beauty. i like to hc him as transmasc mostly because i like projecting my afab dysphoria onto characters i enjoy, but honestly i like most gender headcanons for him. genderfluid, bigender, transfem, agender, whatever. it’s all fun, he’s such a flexible character gender wise and i love that for him. he’s canonically demiromantic asexual, and alongside those i like to think he’s pan. something to do with positivity (which can involve romantic feelings) knowing no gender idfk. he’s pan tho

similar to dream, i like most gender headcanons for nightmare too. transfem, transmasc, agender, whatever. but unlike dream i don’t have much a preference. and while i’m partial to shipping him i’ve started to really like the aroace repulsed (both romantically and sexually) nightmare headcanon…. he’s either aroace repulsed or on the aroace spectrum. he could never be allo to me

CROSS ME BOY. trans man 100% absolutely have you read any of his comics… he reads as a trans man 2 me…. so so trans coded… and it’s actually canon but i’m putting it here anyway, he’s bi!!! he is a bi trans disaster of a man and ilove him so much he’s my favorite….

swap,,,, swap is pan and on the ace spectrum to me. probably graysexual? there’s so many ace/aro terms out there n they’re all so cool but i know so few of them. sigh.. maybe demi?. who knows

killer is an aceflux gay man!!!!!!!! says me. he could never date a woman. impossible for him. aceflux just cause idk i like it. i think it fits him. he also uses he/him but he would not be upset if someone threw in a they/them every once in a while. as a treat

dust. dust god dust. he’s not cis but what gender i hc him to be depends on the hour ngl. transmasc, transfem, or enby i like equally and i’m never able to pick….. i also like to think of him as bi but if asked he’d stab you. demisexual too btw (either that or graysexual. who’s to say)

lust!!!!! lust is transmasc gnc (as in he presents more feminine despite his identity, which btw does not make him any less of a man, trans or otherwise), sex-favorable ace, and gay!!!!! homo….!!! i love him… sighs

horror hmmm. i don’t think too much about his sexuality. he’s not straight but he wouldn’t be opposed to dating a woman. probably unlabeled and just goes with the flow of things. probably somewhere on the ace spectrum, just hasn’t figured out exactly where.

error is demisexual demiromantic and bi 2 me….. because he def had a crush on toriel but he’s also a man lover. so…

errorsansbisexualcore

fresh is polysexual (not polyamorous. i mean he’s not not polyamorous but the term doesn’t mean polyamorous) which is a term that many people find interchangeable with bi or pan or omni or whatever but i think the flag fits him better. it basically just means attraction to multiple genders. also ace or on the ace spectrum, i forgot which one is canon but whatever’s canon i’m going with.not allo that’s for sure

reaper has that morticia style bi wife (in a masculine way) energy. classic is asexual and somewhere on the aro spectrum, just too lazy to look up exactly where he falls on it. pppprobably aroflux? who knows.not him

fell is gay homosexual man. geno is bi and demisexual demiromantic (same as error).

ok ya that’s it!!!! honorable mentions for transmasc classic, fell, and swap, which i also really like but it isn’t fully set in stone for me so. shrug emoji. i also like to think pretty much everyone would be keen on a poly relationship if it felt right for them, so that’s here too

[theoryofthemultiverse]

I know this is probably out of character for him, but... Imagine Dr. Ratio being flustered about having a crush, but only when no one is looking. Bonking his head on his desk, writing poetry only to hide it under various books, getting snappy and mean with others because he's so confused over his own feelings. Like, yeah, he knows what it is, but *why*? There's no conclusive data to tell why he feels this way! His crush is just like any regular person, surely there must be some pattern or combination of factors that can explain this!

Ladies and gentlemen, this right here…

YES! JUST YES!

Honestly I had a thing in my drafts and I wanted to pin point it too so thank you for getting that stone rolling. I don’t actually believe it would be so much out of character for him!

Veritas Ratio would be agitated. A crush? On a normal person? It cannot be. He was set on dying alone, toxically thinking no one could ever match his intellect, so he would surely never fall for anyone would he?

Oh he was so wrong. When he met his crush he instantly viewed his crush as an ordinary person. A person that wouldn’t play a big part in his life’s strategy. Well you can give him 0 points for that because that mindset was gonna be obsolete when he finds out this person possesses an ability that he finds fascinating, utterly fascinating.

Like his crush f.e. being extremely good with emotions, just being very kind, or having any other personality trait that makes them special, that makes them themselves. Also preferably a trait that he doesn’t have, at least not this strongly.

For example, he might be creative to some point, but if he met his crush who had their own imaginative view of the world, that probes him to change his perspective from time to time. Also with a person that is not a genius there would maybe come a certain simplicity to said perspectives which he could find fascinating either.

But nevertheless the reason, because as we all know, love just strikes at the most coincidental moments with the most different of people:

He would still be confused. Himself a man of pure focus that is really never wavering suddenly finds himself to be staring inside his book and committing a (at least to him) sin, by only reading superficially. All while he also then catches himself to suddenly just let his eyes run over the paragraphs, thinking he is reading but in the meantime his thoughts run back towards his crush.

Poor man read enough books about it to know what it is for sure so at first he’d be the kind to gaslight himself out of it.

„No you are not in love, they are just a nice person, this is it. You are thinking about what they did that made you think about them, not them personally.“

Save to say that doesn’t work long and then, like this dear anon said he would hit that head on the tabletop, or sink under the water of the bathtub. Because he realizes he has no chance in fighting this.

And Veritas, a man of reason, would search for said one. He would do a complete psycho analysis first of himself and then of his crush to find out what about them makes him go oh ever so crazy.

Because he simply couldn’t continue to work this distracted. He feels like a fish out of water. Also we know he is not the kind of person that would leave this untouched. He might be embarrassed but he knew if he couldn’t continue his work productively soon then he might get an existential crisis.

So he copes with it, not sure if with poetry (if so he would do it in Latin to make sure no one accidentally reads it ;) or also, and he really really thinks 10 times about it before giving in to his love wrecked brain’s desires, sculpting his crush.

His students would be confused with him as well because they might just find him to be a pinch too less strict. So when he is distracted with thoughts of his crush he might let one or two mistakes slide. But everyone knows to better not ask him about it, or he is going to snap.

All in all he is going to try to get closer to his crush then, to find out more about what they did to him. And while he might also do that to desperately find flaws in his crush, it would just make him fall harder…

[back-on-my-autistic-bullshit]

Full Moon Stolitz thoughts

Alright I'm getting on this shit because I am obsessed with Stolitz unironically. Before I start this I want to be absolutely clear that (in my opinion) there is no "right" side in the overall situation between Blitz and Stolas. Both equally have problems that contribute to their miscommunication and I can sympathise with both of them. If you disagree, feel free to ignore this post and scroll on, I don't mind friendly debate with people I know well but strangers on the internet are a different story.

I do generally project heavily onto Blitz which yeah probably impacts my interpretation of this a lot but I'm just a guy on tumblr I'm not here to be 100% right I'm just posing my take on their behaviours etc etc

Mandatory Disclaimer: spoilers start below! Do not click read more if you care about spoilers for The Full Moon episode of Helluva Boss

That all said, I'm splitting this into three parts:

Blitz's behaviour throughout the episode

Stolas' behaviour throughout the episode

Blitz and Stolas' confrontation/argument/interaction at the end of the episode

Part One: Blitz's behaviour

Starting off with "When I See Him", the basics of it (that is played up a bit for comedy and more or less directly stated really at the start) is that Blitz is obviously covering up how he really feels by concentrating entirely on the sex he anticipates having, and acting like that is what is important to him.

Are we okay? Can't really say I'm getting by By avoiding his questions It's so complicated, I hate when it's complicated Why do I always end up in situations that are complicated?

Blitz knows there is something wrong, or off, between the two of them but he'd rather not talk or communicate about it - literally preferring to avoid the topic entirely because "complicated" = bad, and he has no idea how to fix that, despite the fact that most of his relationships have been and/or are still complicated, he doesn't know how to deal with that because he never learnt. He's started to with Fizz a bit at the very least, but he's definitely not in a place to do that with romantic relationships yet - but I digress.

Here I go again, getting in my head So I'll focus on the sexy stuff instead

Not too much to say about this part other than he is actively choosing to disregard his anxieties and worries about him and Stolas by putting on this mask of caring about the sex and nothing else. Honestly, not a surprise with Blitz, this is pretty average behaviour and is very much likely a common coping mechanism of his to avoid serious feelings when engaging in relationships of a romantic nature. Especially since he seems to place a lot of value in himself in how good he is in bed.

When I see him, I'm gonna do that thing he likes No need to change things, I'll just bring the ropes and spikes[/spice*] We've got a nice arrangement And it's working out just fine We'll keep it light

Can't wait to lose ourselves in nasty sex And make that bird squawk We'll just stick with what makes sense

Same as above, he's going to what's familiar and directly deciding he'd rather ignore any issues they have and not talk about them in favour of doing what they normally do on full moons and call it a night.

*my audio processing disorder really did not like that line, and I cannot completely tell if that's right - any mistakes in lyrics or other quotes from the show before or after this are almost definitely because of this so please feel free to correct me.

Moving on from the song, some things Blitz does or says during the conversation with Moxxie and Loona in the office that stick out to me.

It's the full moon, I gotta meet up with Stolas tonight. Felt like dressing up a little since it's been a few months since I've been inside his feathered ass.

This is personally really interesting to me since he's not been known to dress up explicitly to see Stolas before (excluding the posts that have been seen on the instagram accounts but I'm hesitant to count those as 100% hard canon, and they were outfits of a different variety - not a bowtie and suspenders as he's seen wearing in the episode). It's like he's trying very hard to impress him for.. some reason? I'm guessing he sees it as part of his whole plan to really sort of wow Stolas, get in there, get out, no touchy feely stuff. It comes off as the opposite to me though, it shows that he kind of values what Stolas think of him and his appearance - and that he wants to impress Stolas. This could just be him trying to prove his worth to Stolas so he doesn't get cast aside, but it could also be more.

This facial expression is very important to me. It's a split second frame of vulnerability in response to Loona saying the following:

Oh shit, he's getting bored of you.

This is genuine worry and concern on his face, he tried to cover it up with a smile but he is concerned. And yes, it could just be about losing the book, it probably is in part but I think it's more than that.

Loona also says this:

Yeah, man. If someone wants to see you less and less, big red flag. If they give you chances to ditch, they probably want out themselves. Just wanna be more passive aggressive about it, dicks.

When she says this Blitz reacts very on the defensive, repeating what she said mockingly and saying this:

How do you know, Loona?

It's a very defensive reaction and I'd bet he feels at least a little bit bruised and hurt at the thought of Stolas getting "bored" of him - which probably does not help at all with how he's struggling with how he currently feels about Stolas between the agreement for the book and not seeing him in a while.

Immediately after this interaction, he literally leaves his job (which like, yeah, he is own his boss I Guess he can do that whenever he wants but I can't imagine he does it a lot, I Hope, unless he thinks it's important) and goes shopping for more things to impress Stolas. It's a lot of effort to put into someone you don't really super care about, all things considered but let's just go with the devil's advocate here that it's not to lose the book and it doesn't really mean anything. Although I do find his choice to look at candles first interesting, assuming it's not for something else (resident sex repulsed asexual is struggling with thinking about that kind of thing - despite watching helluva boss lmao), Stolas seems to like candles. If I remember correctly, he has some near his bath.

An interesting detail for Blitz to know/remember/take into account, for someone he allegedly does not care about. Anddd that's it for Blitz's scenes in this episode.

Part 2: Stolas' Behaviour

Like with Blitz, I'm gonna focus on how Stolas acts in "When I See Him" first, then move on to what we see of him alone in the rest of the episode (which there's very little of, I think, unfortunately).

The summary of what I think of Stolas in this song is he clearly has a somewhat fairytale view of his relationship with Blitz still (which is only emphasised by how the song is disney princess like in nature), thankfully he knows he has to let him be separate from the terms of their agreement and has found a way for this to occur without horribly impacting Blitz's business. However, he (at least, at first) seems to think after this happens everything will go fine and be perfectly okay and happily ever after, or more likely hopes that is how the situation will end up - but we see more of his worries later on so he's evidently not completely deluding himself.

My derring-do is half disguised Behind a smile

I don't have a lot to say about this just that it shows Stolas is obviously aware that Blitz is performing at least a little when he's with him.

I swore I wouldn't dwell on the divorce

This line just interests me more than anything, it's understandable that he doesn't want to think about the divorce. God knows I wouldn't want to, but's it intriguing to see he's attempting to distance himself from it - I hope we see more about this in the future episodes, maybe.

So for my own health I'll remind myself That when I see him I know that it won't feel so tough I'll believe him And not the voice that says I'm not enough No need for an arrangement It can just be him and me I'll see us free How perfect it could be When I see him tonight

This bit is very sweet honestly, Stolas clearly yearns to be closer to Blitz - and he's trying his best to facilitate that. He just wants genuine connection and love, something he couldn't experience in his marriage with Stella. Stolas is obviously nervous and has some self worth issues to say the least, but he deals with them differently to Blitz. In fact, he finds that being with Blitz helps combat these (likely because he feels loved and/or wanted by someone).

Unrelated to dissecting the episode and the like, the voice acting for this part was incredible and I love the way Stolas' VA (his name has slipped my mind atm) conveys emotion in his voice - even while singing. He sounds very hopeful, yet the cracks and wobbles suggest how nervous he feels for the interaction with Blitz, even if he's currently acting as if he thinks it will end well.

Oh god I'll fucking die alone if this goes bad tonight

This bit really just kind of shows how nervous he does feel about talking with Blitz about giving him the crystal. And that he is scared it'll go wrong, it's nothing too crazy.

The detail of him having none of the medication he takes left is interesting to me though, just that he's still taking it, I guess - could suggest he's still struggling with anxiety etc etc.

Am I doing something I can't take back? Would he want me if he was free? And if he's only here as a prisoner What kind of a monster does that make me

Stolas is clearly feeling a lot of guilt for his past treatment of Blitz, and fear that his feelings aren't reciprocated - but it seems like he's more scared that he's been taking advantage of Blitz, than the thought that Blitz doesn't like him.

My entire life's been written in stone He taught me that I could choose

Blitz is the first person he really chose to meet or associate with, as a child and as an adult. There was no obligation to know him or socialise with him, or to be his friend (or more). In fact, it was discouraged if anything but Stolas chose to do it anyway - and it helped him realise he could do what he wanted, and gain the confidence to do so.

Part 3: Blitz and Stolas' confrontation

Stolas' body language here kills me, he's so nervous for what he's about to do, and despite his hopeful song early he's eerily somber - as if he knows this will end badly.

Blitz looks so afraid here, he's gone through all of this effort to try to impress Stolas and keep him from getting "bored" of him. Part of this is probably because he doesn't want to lose the connection he and Stolas have but honestly it's largely probably the fear of losing the book and his business that he's worked so hard for. Blitz is an incredibly ambitious person, and he's put a lot of blood, sweat and tears (mostly blood) into I.M.P and to have it taken away because of someone else due to not being good enough for them is probably one of his worst fears.

Blitz's immediate switch to trying to seduce Stolas is slightly jarring, but not all that surprising considering how this whole thing started. Blitz is desperate, trying anything to prove to Stolas he's worth keeping around. Meanwhile Stolas looks resigned, as if realising it really was just a performance for Blitz the entire time.

Stolas, please, I- I need this book. Please, I need this book, Stolas. I will do anything.

The immediate switch to begging, mixed with tears, took me off guard honestly. I didn't expect to see him do that but it makes sense considering how badly he treasures I.M.P and he really is just at the whim of Stolas and it could all collapse at any given moment.

I don't understand, why are you giving me this? Am I not like, fucking you good enough? Because I can- I can always do better.

This being Blitz's immediate reaction to getting the crystal from Stolas is upsetting. I was on the verge of tears here, he can't even comprehend that Stolas might genuinely want to give him a gift, not because Blitz isn't good enough, but because Stolas wants him to be independent. Blitz has never viewed himself as "good enough" for people and he puts on a lot of performances to convince himself he's worthy of being associated with others. This probably feels like, to him, a convoluted way of "getting rid" of him, instead of giving him freedom so he and Stolas can interact with less of a power imbalance.

This in an interesting roleplay, never done this one but I can get into it. How's this? Oh, Stolas, I'll stay with you, I love you soo much.

Blitz's immediate response to Stolas' confession being one of disbelief leading him into thinking it's some sort of roleplay or pretense because he can't possibly believe that anyone would actually love him is honestly worse case scenario and probably where all of this starts going downhill.

I have my answer, Blitz. You needn't say anything. I have wanted you, for so long. The fact that you couldn't believe that I might have these feelings about you, that your first instinct is that it's always about... sex. That's enough to know what this is.

This right here, is terrible. Miserable, even. Communication is starting to break down, Stolas doesn't realise or understand Blitz's point of view and I certainly cannot blame him for getting upset but how these two are communicating yet somehow falling victim to miscommunication at the same time is impressive at this point. They're both getting emotional, and it's fucking everything up but to be fair no one can remain 100% logical, this is nerve wracking and stressful for them both.

What? Fuck you, Stolas. You spring this feelings bullshit on me, are you fucking kidding? Can I get a fucking minute to think after everything you've put me through, you pompous rich asshole? Treat me like one of your little butler imps, you can't just dismiss me like that! I mean, you royal fucks think you can do this every time, like you can just play with our feelings because we're smaller and not as important! Well, I'm not letting you, bitch! Let's go!

This, this is incredibly cathartic in a weird way. It's not good by any means but for Blitz these bitter feelings have probably been somewhat simmering beneath the surface for a while and he hasn't been able to express them because of the nature of his and Stolas' relationship. The way he's phrasing this makes me wonder if he has previous experience with a royal demon doing this to him outside of now, and Stolas' father hiring him to be Stolas' friend when he was a child. It wouldn't be too unreasonable but putting that aside for a moment. The anger and lashing out here is probably a defense mechanism on his part, every time something has got vulnerable or upsetting in the past in this show Blitz always seems to get angry (an example that comes to mind at the minute is when Cash was celebrating Fizz's birthday - at the time he didn't say anything to Fizz but he stormed off, angry. Another one could be probably a few of his interactions with Verosika. I'd have to rewatch the show to find something more particular). The point is Blitz lashes out instead of being open and vulnerable, he doesn't mean or genuinely think any of this - and immediately regrets it as soon as he says it. But it's too late, it's been said.

Stolas flinches or pauses when walking a handful of times during this rant from Blitz, each time whenever he has an insult. Before he has even said anything it's immensely clear Stolas is very hurt by this.

Blitz. I think so very highly of you, I didn't realise you think so low of me.

This is the regret I was talking about, it's probably helped along by Stolas admitting he thinks highly of Blitz but god - he is crushed. And he immediately tries to apologise but Stolas teleports him out of there before he can even process it, leaving us on a terrible cliffhanger.

God, it's a fucking mess. They're a mess I'm so scared for the next episode and how they are even going to fix this. Someone get these gay demons a therapist, please, I beg.

All in all, ow my feelings, this episode hurt, I did cry. Stolitz have mastered the art of miscommunication, but that is hardly news. Blitz seems to have got a genuine wake-up call, sort of similar to how he did with Fizz and I'm hoping that kickstarts something to help him improve, because he does need to. At the same time, Stolas has kinda fucked up here, and does need to give Blitz more time to process since I imagine this is very fucking shocking to him. It's all one biggggg mess and god knows how it'll work out but I'm looking forward to finding out and hopefully not having my heart ripped out and spat on by the end of this season.

[forgottencassimir]

ooc | Cassimir & Cormac

I'm sorry I know you haven't even made his site yet, so this is premature, but I went on a walk today and I just thought about this relationship????

So, first, I feel like Cassimir did NOT like Cormac at all when he first met him! I imagine they met pretty soon after Cassimir came to Malconaire and he was like "who is this loser??? and why won't he leave me alone????" Honestly, he probably was kinda mean to him atp but I can also see where the sarcasm might have just gone over Cormac's head #facepalm

I do think he treated him better as they got older and Cassimir started being a tad bit more empathetic and while he might have been friendly at times, I don't think you could have considered them friends (even if Cormac did lmao) -- that being said, I feel like Cassimir was still frequently pretty annoyed with Cormac, but even then he did like the attention/compliments that Cormac would pay him!!

I think they've become more of a duo though, since the war?? Both because I think Cassimir feels a little isolated and lonely since the events of the battle and part of him wonders if that is justified, but keeping people like Cormac around makes him not think about any of that!!!!! I feel like Cormac is just Cassimir's personal hype man and between him and Valentina, Cassimir is really out here thinking he can do no wrong sometimes ;D

I'm crying because Cassimir does NOT consider him and Cormac to be friends, but in reality Cormac probably ~is his best friend. #facepalm [ Honestly, I imagine that there are some Gaston/Lefou parallels here lmao ]

But Cassimir definitely takes advantage of Cormac!!! He's come to realize that Cormac will do pretty much anything he says and he knows it?? And I feel like Cormac is half his friend/half his servant (even though he's a legit lord in his own right alsjflasjfldsfj -- although that being said, I'm sure he knows that Cassimir has ~royal~ blood)

I think Cassimir is also pleased that a) Cormac is currently residing at Lorcan b/c Cassimir thinks that that should pass to him and not Rian since he is a step-cousin to Padraig Lorcan and he definitely wants any and all dirt he can get on Rian and b) that Cormac is now going to have an estate of his own to manage, which I feel like Cassimir pretty much feels will be his own to control?!??! Like, he can tell Cormac to do whatever he wants him to do and he will do it!

I also think he sees Cormac as a potential husband for either Rosie or Brigit tbh??? I imagine that the northern estate he has been gifted is further away than Lorcan/Hanthom/Malconaire/the capital all are in relation to each other (which reminds me that I should construct a map soon!!) and that it is farther away that they wouldn't be a ~constant problem to him. I think he'd prefer Brigit, because he imagines that she would run away as soon as they are married, but that the harsh winters up there would (~conveniently) kill her but he knows he has talked a lot of shit about Brigit over the years and its a hard one to try to turn that around and start saying good things about her to get Cormac on board??? So he does think that Rosie will be the easier sell

[genderstarbucks]

do you know if there’s a term for lesbian who support

lesboy’s

Aroace lesbians

he/him lesbians

it/it’s lesbians

they/them lesbians

non-binary lesbians

multi gender lesbians

no gender/agender lesbians

Xenogender lesbians

neurogender lesbians

lesbians with controversial labels

Lesbians that have a Cluster b disorder

Neurodivergent lesbians

and any other kind of lesbian that people don’t see as a “real” lesbian

If not can you make a term for it cus I see to many lesbians not support all lesbians so I wanted a term that I can use so that people can see that I support all these labels/lesbian

Gay Man Ally is a term for gay men who support any "non-typical" gay men such as: turigirls, mspec gay men, gaybians, straightcians, aroace gay men, she/her gay men, they/them gay men, it/its gay men, nonbinary gay men, multigender gay men, agender / genderless gay men, xenogender gay men, neurogender gay men, gay men who use controversial or contradictory labels, neurodivergent gay men and any other type of gay men that aren't see as "real" gay men for whatever reason. In short, a gay man ally is a term for gay men who uplift and support other gay men, no matter how they identify or what makes them different.

Lesbian Ally is a term for lesbians who support any "non-typical" lesbians such as: lesboys, mspec lesbians, gaybians, straightbians, aroace lesbians, he/him lesbians, they/them lesbians, it/its ledbians, nonbinary lesbians, multigender lesbians, agender / genderless lesbians, xenogender lesbians, neurogender lesbians, lesbians who use controversial or contradictory labels, neurodivergent lesbians and any other type of lesbians that aren't see as "real" lesbians for whatever reason. In short, a lesbian ally is a term for lesbians who uplift and support other lesbian, no matter how they identify or what makes them different.

Me too anon, I'm seeing WAY too many lesbians be against lesboys, gaybians, mspec lesbians and straightbians for no reason, I don't see it happen as often with gay men being exclusionary but it still happens and it's honestly really infuriating

Also just a reminder that gay man/men can be replaced with gay, vincian, veldian or turian in this post, gay man is just what I prefer to use

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

Honestly if you could , how would you rate your yandere cooking for Darling (notably the yandere set 2). Like who would be at the tier having the most divine cooking , very talented to mediocre but still try hard for their darling to being banned from entering the kitchen forever cause of fire hazard from frying an egg?? (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

Also do you mind if i become 🐧 anon??

Yandere men and their cooking

I'll be answering this and my last ask, then i'll go write my last 3 yanderes, then opening inbox again! I'm still sick unfortunately, so it'll take some time.

YAN! DELINQUENT: 8/10

Liam is a good cook! He definitely prepares the meanest lunch meals out there. Househusband material, he literally has to feed himself by living through his wage and the money his parents give him, so he might as well enjoy! So rest assured he will feed you homely foods that you'll enjoy.

Fav food to cook: pepper beef on rice (quick, efficient, and tastes good!)

YAN! BULLY: 2/10

Eh.. Uno is pampered a lot. What he can probably only make is a scrambled egg, and that's on accident cuz he broke the yolk and mixed it to say "it's intentional". So, unfortunately, you have to cook, or a personal chef. Nothing in between. Unless you're okay with eggs everyday, every time to eat.

Fav food to cook: eggs. (That's the only thing he can cook)

YAN! NSFW ASMRTIST: 9.5/10

Rose definitely cooks the best stuff out there. He's been living by himself for a long, long time so he had time to read cook books, and he definitely watches Hell's Kitchen in his free time. So, expect food for the gods when he cooks for you.

Fav food to cook: Low and slow stew and soups. Meaty, hearty, and pairs well with rice (Full of love, affection, and time.)

YAN! ISEKAI'ED ADVENTURER: 5/10

Aeron is basic when it comes to cooking. He basically only cooks to make sure it's edible, non poisonous, and fulfilling. If he had a choice really, he would just do eat fruits and veggies raw. And when he does cook for you, unfortunately it's not anything remarkable. JUST LIE THOUGH AND SAY IT TASTES GOOD.

Fav food to cook: none... (It's a hassle)

YAN! PLAYER: 10/10

Surprised? He's blessed by the gods. How can this man be awful at cooking? Sure, he would prefer to not cook anything at all, but Amor would be extremely good at it despite not really cooking much because of his blessings. He would be really happy to cook for you though. Anything you want will be miraculously made close to perfection if it's not perfect already.

Fav food to cook: Any of your favorite foods gourmet style (he loves to spoil you while boasting about his... Ill-gotten skills)

YAN! PARASITE:6/10

Acheron knew how to follow instructions, so food is above average at most. As long as the recipe was good, and reviews are nice, then you know you are in good hands. Acheron will cook you food from your favorite cookbooks, so please, don't be shy and send him a link, or gift him a book. He'll be more than happy to cook for you.

Fav food to cook: The simple recipe ones (less chance of messing up the flavor)

YAN! EMPEROR: 0/10

"No. I will not do something like cook."

YAN! COLLEGE STUDENT:8.5/10

Alpheus is a great cook actually, but he never really enjoyed it. He usually does the cooking when Ignatius comes to his home to hang out or teach him how to adapt socially. But, he'll be happy cooking for you.

Fav food to cook: squid ink pasta, and margarita pizza (sharing food for when you or Ignatius eat with him)

YAN! DEEP SEA CREATURE: 0/10

"What is... Cooking?"

YAN! HUNTER: 7/10

Orion is one of those grill dads. Most of the time it's seafood too. But you can guarantee that it will be the most delicious grilled seafood you'll eat. Other meats? Meh... It's more or less okay. His specialty lies by the sea. He will not be opposed in cooking land or sky meat though, just say the word.

Fav food to cook: grilled oysters with cheese or caviar, and lobster with butter baste (best tasting food with low effort)

YAN! KING: 0/10

"A king doesn't cook."

YAN! GOD: 4/10

Well, Liviticus can't cook unless it's very simple like rice and eggs, or like... Ramen. Basically only 1-3 stepped cooking. Cuz essentially, with him being a god, he can just summon the food from thin air. So like, he's your automatic food dispenser. If you want to teach him though, then he would love to.

Fav food to cook: Ramen (Technically not cooking)

YAN! PROSECUTOR: 9/10

Yuta, of course, knows how to cook and he cooks well. Surprisingly, he's into baking. And that's his mastery. He just doesn't have time to cook or bake at all due to being a prosecutor. But if you ask him to, then he will gladly bake or cook for you.

Fav food to make: macarons (time consuming, delicate, and needs his full attention that can distract him from his job and reality)

-----------------------------

So ranking from basically perfect to definitely not

PLAYER>ASMRTIST>PROSECUTOR>COLLEGE STUDENT>DELINQUENT>HUNTER>PARASITE>ISEKAI'ED ADVENTURER>GOD>BULLY>EMPEROR=DEEP SEA CREATURE=KING

[kaeyx]

Alright been mulling on this one for a while. I think similar things have come up before but anyway-

Consider: Chuuya with a leash. Not Chuuya on a leash (although also a very good thought for another day), but Chuuya who puts you on a leash. Maybe who goes so far as to *keep* you on a leash. In the house at least.

It’s nothing harsh - just a soft stretch of high quality leather hooked onto your matching collar. But oh, is it versatile.

He can sit you in his lap and pull you in for kisses, for sips of his wine, for a bite of food. Uses the leash to hold you in place while you lick any crumbs off his fingers.

If you’re being a brat, he can wrap it once or twice around his fist and pull tight, yanking you close to him to get in your face as he reminds you who’s in charge. Leaving you no wiggle room to pull away.

One tug downwards has you off the couch and at his feet. One tug forwards has you nuzzling against his bulge. One sharp tug upwards has you looking at him as he reminds you not to use your hands. He does the button for you, and then rewards you with a hand in your hair when you grasp the zipper pull between your teeth.

It’s okay if you forget and get Handsy again, though - he’ll just use the leash to tie them behind you.

Or consider- Chuuya who uses the leash to pull you into a kiss, kisses you senseless, and continues to pull you into kisses one step at a time all the way down the hallway, until his knees are hitting the bed. Chuuya who uses the leash to gently guide you, setting the pace when he makes you ride him. Chuuya who pulls sharply to make you fall into his chest so he can kiss you again and tell you how well you’re doing. Then he rolls you over and presses you down flat to the mattress with a firm hand between your shoulder blades. Because honestly, if you’re wearing a leash, why wouldn’t you do doggy. When you start to lose focus, he pulls gently, not enough to hurt, just enough to force you back where he wants you, reminding you to arch your back nice and deep for him, keep your head up so he can hear you. When your body finally goes totally slack, he pulls harder, hauling you up (with one hand on your chest so he doesn’t hurt you) to hold you tight against his chest. Finally, he drops the leash, one arm locked around your waist to keep you upright. The other holding your chin so he can keep his mouth on yours and swallow all those lovely incoherent sounds.

By the time he’s done with you, you barely hear the light clink of it unclipping, the gentle thud as he throws it somewhere out of sight. He prefers to use his hands to hold you where he wants you after, as he carries you to the bathroom to clean up, pressing gentle praise into your cheeks and temple the whole way.

So yeah. Chuuya with a leash.

- 🪢

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO ADD HOLY FUUUUUCK THIS IS SO GOOD I'M DROOLING

[rutabga]

Feeling rooty tooty fresh and fruity (I like men)

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

hate that I have to clarify whenever I think of two characters as having a powerful and purely platonic bond as "just friends". like I have to say that but they are not "just" anything.

did you hear me. I said they are friends. not brothers or siblings or maternal or paternal or any other familially-defined relationship. they are friends!!! do you know how powerful that is??? they! are! friends!!! they are FRIENDS