#How dare you disrespect me /j

[ashe-brrrr]

I have the most atrocious internet safety. If you don't know what I look like or my house looks like or where I live, at least the state, do you even see my online history

Brought to you by my online friends(of three years) know my full name... And my school... And what I look like... And three have been to my house... And some outside of that have my exact address

Whoops, will i learn from this?? Slightly, not much

@oroblio

[edenesth]

The Way to His Heart [14]

Pairing: general!Seonghwa x wife!reader

AU: arranged marriage au (Joseon era)

Word Count: 3.8k

Summary: Life has been hell ever since your mother's passing many years ago. Despite being from a prominent family, you've never received the privileges associated with it. It only got worse with the arrival of your stepmother and her daughters. When the intimidating General Park was in search of a wife, your father seized the opportunity to dispose of you, simultaneously securing a connection with the powerful general—killing two birds with one stone.

Part 13 | Fic Masterlist | Part 15

"J-Jinjoo? Is that you?"

Your breath caught in your throat as you observed the scars scattered across her body, wounds that hadn't been there the last time you saw her. The severity of her punishment was evident, and judging by the marks, it seemed unlikely they would fade anytime soon, if ever.

The younger girl smirked bitterly, "Are you happy now? All five of us have been beaten nearly to death, left with scars that will likely never fully heal in this lifetime. Mother will serve until the day she dies, and the three of us will pay for a good chunk of our lives!"

As if anticipating your inquiry about the former minister, she shook her head and balled her fists, "Father has endured enough beatings and torture to render him almost paralysed, and guess what? He's been exiled to god knows where. If you want more details, perhaps you should ask your husband about it."

Your heart sank at the mention of Seonghwa, "Wh-what do you mean? Your punishments were determined by His Majesty. Why would my husband be involved—"

She scoffed incredulously, "Did you truly forget who General Park really is? He sat back and enjoyed the show while we suffered, allowing the torture to happen. That absolute monster—he did this to us; he ruined our lives forever. I mean, sure, we weren't great to you either, but look at you now, Lady Park. It's all thanks to us that you're who you are today."

Noting your silence, she continued with a sly edge, "Though I wouldn't celebrate too soon if I were you. Who's to say when he'll show his true colours once he's grown tired of you?"

Before you could respond, Hongjoong appeared at your side, his tone laced with disbelief, "Worry about yourself first, peasant. Oh, the audacity of this young lady. Do you even realise who you're addressing? How dare you try to twist this around and play the victim? You and your family got what you deserved. Count yourself lucky that you're still alive and well, hm?"

The dressmaker turned to signal the factory owner and the elderly man immediately rushed over anxiously, "S-sir, what brings you to this part of the factory? P-please, allow me to escort you out."

Halting the man, Hongjoong gestured towards your stepsister, "This one right here was being disrespectful to Lady Park. Would you mind teaching her a good lesson for me? Otherwise, I may have to reconsider our choice of fabric supplier."

Suddenly realising her mistake, Jinjoo trembled like a leaf under the owner's stern gaze. He bowed repeatedly at you and your friend, "O-of course, sir! Rest assured, I'll ensure she never forgets her manners again. You have my word!"

As Hongjoong guided you out of the store, you remained silent, your thoughts swirling from the disturbing revelation that the general had been involved in the punishments of your family.

Walking alongside the dressmaker, the weight of the revelation bore down on you like a suffocating blanket. The image of Seonghwa, once your loving husband, now tainted with the sinister aura of someone who could watch others suffer without flinching, haunted your thoughts. Sure, you were there to witness him extracting the confession from your father, but you never fathomed that he would actually be involved in the subsequent punishment.

Your stepsister's words echoed in your mind, stirring up a cocktail of dread and uncertainty. Could it be true? Have you really forgotten the true nature of General Park? The man you had once trusted implicitly now appeared in a new, unsettling light. The realisation sent shivers down your spine as you contemplated the implications.

Fear gnawed at your insides as you entertained the chilling possibility that if he could inflict such cruelty upon your family, what would stop him from doing the same to you if ever he grew displeased? The thought sent a chill down your spine, leaving you questioning everything you once believed about the man you loved.

Throughout the remainder of the day, you remained unusually quiet, your thoughts clearly elsewhere. Hongjoong opted not to pry, deciding to wait until you were back within the safety of your home before broaching the subject. Despite his efforts to lighten the mood and draw a smile from you, it seemed futile. He was acutely aware of the impact Jinjoo's words must have had on you, especially given your delicate emotional state. After enduring years of mistreatment, he could see how trusting others fully must be an immense challenge.

Later that evening as you sat down for dinner together, he finally broke the silence, setting down his chopsticks with a sigh, "What's on your mind, Lady Park? You know you can talk to me, right?"

You paused at his question, pondering whether to confide in him about your inner turmoil. How would he respond? Would he be disappointed in you? After all, the general was his close friend. It seemed likely he would take Seonghwa's side and defend him. Though your husband hadn't given you any reason to doubt his affection thus far, his decision to hide this information from you must carry some significance.

"It's nothing, Hongjoong. Maybe I'm just feeling a bit weary after our day out," You mumbled, resuming your meal and hurriedly stuffing more food into your mouth to avoid conversation. He frowned at your behaviour and gently intervened, placing a hand on yours, "Hey, hey, slow down. The food isn't going anywhere; it's all yours."

With his arms crossed over his chest, he shook his head disapprovingly, "Who are you trying to fool with that lie? You might be able to deceive anyone, even your dumb husband, but not me. You were perfectly fine until you ran into your... into her."

You froze, caught red-handed in your attempt to deflect. You should have known better than to think you could fool Hongjoong with such a feeble excuse. Instead of scolding you, he softened, uncrossing his arms and leaning in, his eyes full of understanding.

"Listen, I'm sorry I wasn't there by your side to defend you earlier. I should have prevented all of that from happening today; it's entirely my fault. When I heard what she said to you, I knew it would affect you. And now, seeing you like this, I can tell I was right. Don't you dare believe any of her ridiculous words, you hear me?"

Setting down your chopsticks shakily, you turned to face him, despair etched clearly on your features, "But Hongjoong, what if there's truth in what she was saying? Wh-what if he eventually grows tired of me? Will I end up suffering like all of them too?"

The dressmaker didn't have the heart to berate you, understanding your doubts despite the internal frustration he felt at your stepsister for undoing all the trust you had in Seonghwa with just a few words.

He released a deep breath and offered a smile, "Have you forgotten everything I've told you about how he's different when it comes to you? He would never do anything to hurt you; I can vouch for him. As ruthless as General Park can be, he reserves that side only for those who deserve it. Your family deserves every bit of the punishment they received for the harm they caused you. You shouldn't feel any guilt for them, you know?"

Hongjoong leaned in closer, his tone softening, "Trust me, she's just jealous of you. It's obvious she's envious of the life you have now, and she's intentionally trying to stir up trouble between you and your husband. Don't let her get to you. You and Seonghwa have something special, something she'll never understand."

As his words sank in, you felt a slight sense of relief wash over you. It did make sense that Jinjoo would resort to such tactics out of jealousy. After all, her resentment towards you had always been evident. You felt ashamed for entertaining the possibility of your husband hurting you when he had only ever been good towards you.

However, the memory of the scars on your stepsister's body lingered in your mind, knowing the ones on your father and stepmother were even worse than what you've seen. While you recognised that your family deserved the consequences of their actions, the realisation that Seonghwa had played a part in their suffering made you feel sick to your stomach. Your emotions were in disarray; it was difficult to act nonchalant after learning the unsettling truth.

Despite the turmoil raging within you like a storm, you didn't want to add to your friend's concerns. Putting on a smile, you nodded, "You're right, Hongjoong. I must be silly to let her words affect me like this." You forced a light chuckle and went back to your meal, hoping to change the subject.

Though the dressmaker felt somewhat reassured that you acknowledged his advice, he sensed you were still troubled by what you had learned. He could only hope that with time, you would be able to move past Jinjoo's words. The last thing Seonghwa needed upon his return from war was to find his beloved wife fearful of him.

Damnit, I shouldn't have taken her there.

"General Park hasn't arrived yet, you say? Well, who would have thought he'd become such a loving husband? This Lady Park must be quite remarkable for him to—"

Rolling his eyes, the general heard the familiar deep voice gossiping about him from outside the main tent, where meetings would take place. With a loud clear of his throat, he pulled open the flap and entered, his presence immediately causing everyone in the room to straighten up, "I'm here now, Mingi. It would be great if you could cease your idle chatter and get to work at once."

"S-sir! It's been a while, you look good—"

"Save it, Officer Song."

Acknowledging the command with a salute, the taller man swiftly proceeded to the central table, laying out numerous documents detailing the strategies he had developed, "Yes sir, here are some of the plans I've drafted thus far."

Seonghwa nodded approvingly and approached him. As he listened to his colleague's explanations, a satisfied smirk graced his lips, affirming his keen judgement in promoting the right individual.

General Officer Song had risen to become one of the most esteemed military strategists in Joseon, all thanks to General Park's recommendation. Your husband was notoriously difficult to impress, but Mingi's exceptional talents caught his attention during a particularly challenging battle many years ago. Despite being a mere low-ranking soldier at the time, he devised a brilliant plan that ultimately turned the odds in their favour, leading to an epic victory.

"Ruhon is known to be rash in their decision-making; their impulsiveness is evident in their sudden attack plans," The taller man explained, his fingers tracing over strategic points on the map, "We can capitalise on this by striking where they least expect us. Through my research, I've identified blind spots that will catch them off guard. May I have authorisation to deploy troops to these locations, sir?"

The general nodded decisively, "I have faith in your judgement, Officer Song. You've never let me down in all our years together; I'm confident this time will be no exception."

"Thank you, sir."

Once all the necessary arrangements had been finalised and everyone had been briefed on their roles, the meeting came to an end. While the other officers and soldiers hurried off to relay the information discussed and carry out their assigned duties, Officer Song lingered behind, sharing a knowing look with the general.

Taking a seat beside the person he considered his friend and mentor, Mingi offered a genuine smile, "Congratulations on your recent marriage, hyung-nim."

Returning the smile, Seonghwa gave the taller man a pat on the back, "Thank you, Mingi-yah. I hope you've been well these past few years. Once this is all over, might I hear news of your own wedding?"

Blushing faintly, the strategist shook his head, "Unfortunately, I haven't found my one yet. But I am happy for you, general. Everyone in Joseon seems to know about your new wife and her difficult past. I'm just glad you found each other. I heard you were granted a few days with Lady Park before coming here. How is she holding up?"

The mention of his wife brought a pang of discomfort, evoking memories of your heartbreaking farewell. Throughout his journey to the war site, your husband couldn't shake the image of your tear-stained face, "She's... she's handling it better than I expected, or maybe that's just what she's showing me. When I told her about my departure, she didn't break down. Instead, she smiled at me with understanding and simply asked when I would be leaving."

"Huh, did she really?" Mingi mused, a hint of admiration in his tone, "I suppose now I understand why you're so smitten with her. It seems she's truly as delightful as the rumours claimed." Even from the snippets of what he had heard, the strategist could tell that Lady Park was indeed an extraordinary person, and he could see why Seonghwa held you in such high regard.

With a nod, the general's expression grew sombre, "Indeed, she truly is. But I won't lie and say I'm not worried about her," He admitted, "When she first arrived, I treated her poorly. I mistook her for just another spoiled brat, only to learn she's suffered a life far worse than mine. I'll never forgive myself for that. From that moment on, I vowed to give her nothing but the best. You know, I had plans for a grand wedding, a chance to make up for everything..."

Officer Song's face mirrored your husband's solemnity as realisation dawned, "Then this war happened..."

"Yeah, but that's not all," Seonghwa continued, his voice heavy with worry, "I just... God, what if I don't return to her? I've only just found her..."

Bowing his head, the general felt overwhelmed by his concerns. Mingi placed a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder, "Have you forgotten who you are? You're General Park of Joseon, the King's most trusted warrior. If anyone can make it out of this war unscathed, it would be you. Trust me, you will make it back to Lady Park. And you better invite me to that wedding of yours." The strategist said, his words laced with a touch of humour.

Despite the weight of his worries, your husband chuckled softly, nodding gratefully at the reassurance, "Of course, Mingi."

Before the two could continue their conversation, a soldier barged into the tent, panting heavily, "General Park! Some of Ruhon's troops have been spotted approaching. We need you out there!"

Alright, let's get this over with.

Meanwhile, back in the general's estate, you found yourself in your usual spot in the pavilion. Lady etiquette books lay scattered around, forgotten as your gaze drifted distantly over the tranquil lotus pond.

Regardless of the overwhelming emotions that had consumed you the day before upon learning the truth about your family's punishments, you couldn't deny the longing in your heart for Seonghwa's presence. Being alone in the pavilion now felt even lonelier than before. Accustomed to his warm embrace, his absence left a void that seemed impossible to fill.

However, as you contemplated the absence of your husband's comforting presence, conflicting emotions surged within you.

No matter how hard you tried, you simply couldn't shake the unsettling realisation that the same hands that held you close were also stained with the blood of countless others. Hongjoong's reassurances echoed in your mind, yet a nagging doubt persisted. While he assured you that the general would never harm you, your moral compass grappled with the knowledge that he was capable of inflicting pain without hesitation, regardless of justification.

It just felt so... wrong.

"Ah, is this the famous lotus pond you've mentioned, Miss Jang?" The unexpected voice startled you out of your thoughts. Turning to confirm your suspicions, you let out a loud gasp at the sight of the fourth prince standing before you.

You scrambled to your feet immediately, performing the formal bow, "Y-your Highness! What brings you here?"

Rushing up behind Yeosang, the head maid panted heavily, bowing deeply before you and shooting an apologetic glance, "Mistress, I am so sorry for not alerting you of our guest! His Highness showed up spontaneously without making an appointment prior and wouldn't allow any of us to announce his arrival."

Eunsook nearly had a heart attack when one of the maids informed her that the prince had arrived unannounced, waiting to be greeted at the entrance of the estate. Jongho was absent, having gone out with a few other servants to replenish household essentials. Rushing over, she found that Yeosang had insisted on surprising you personally, leaving her flustered and anxious. With her master now at war, it was evident to her that His Highness was attempting to make an advance on you.

The prince couldn't help but grin at how adorably confused and caught off guard you looked, "Yes, that's right. I wanted to surprise you, Miss Jang. Are you surprised?"

Quickly regaining your composure and summoning the poise of a noblewoman, you nodded, "I guess I am, Your Highness," You said before turning to dismiss the elderly woman with an assuring smile, "It's alright, Eunsook. I was growing slightly bored anyway. Come, Prince Yeosang, let me show you around, and you can tell me why you've decided to pay us a surprise visit."

Recalling his fondness for flowers, you led him through the winding paths of the estate's gardens, each turn revealing a new burst of colour and fragrance. Sunlight danced through the leaves, casting dappled patterns on the well-tended flowerbeds, "Now, I know our humble garden obviously cannot compare to the ones in the palace, but I am very proud of our servants' hard work. What do you think, Your Highness?"

While your eyes remained fixed on the colourful flowers, the prince's gaze was captivated by you, his admiring gaze lingering on your graceful movements amidst the blooms.

"I agree; I think it's absolutely enchanting. While it may be humble, it surpasses the beauty of any of the palace's gardens." He remarked, his words carrying a subtle double meaning. He wondered if you could discern the implied compliment; he was indirectly comparing you to the royals in the palace. In his eyes, you outshone any of his sisters, his father's concubines, and all the potential candidates ever presented to him.

Yeosang found himself torn between amusement and slight disappointment as you appeared genuinely oblivious to the deeper meaning of his words. Your reply, however, pleased him, "Thank you, Your Highness. It seems you have good taste," You attempted a joke. Fortunately, he laughed in response, "I think I do too, my lady."

He halted his steps and turned to you, "I have a question," He said, and you nodded, encouraging him to continue, "Go on. Ask away, Your Highness."

"Even with all these beautiful flowers here, is your favourite still the lotus?" Your heart skipped a beat at the mention of the lotus, a symbol closely tied to memories of your husband. Determined not to show any hint of turmoil, you nodded and answered steadily, "Of course, my prince."

The prince kept his smile intact, "Hmm, I see. Is it solely because the general dedicated a pond full of them to you?"

When you remained silent, he clarified, "What I mean is, if you had the freedom to choose, which flower would truly be your favourite? Instead of accepting what's given to you, I believe you should have the right to make your own choice." It was another subtle suggestion that you should be able to choose your own path, including your life partner, rather than conforming to arrangements made for you.

It appeared that you had grasped the underlying meaning of his words this time. You blinked rapidly as you gathered your thoughts before letting out a chuckle, "Ah, I suppose that hadn't crossed my mind," Shifting the topic, you continued, "Anyway, let us move on from idle chatter. Why don't you enlighten me on the purpose of your surprise visit, Your Highness? With my husband away, I'm unsure if there's anything I can assist you with."

Sensing your slight discomfort, Yeosang decided to get straight to the point, "Right, I'm aware General Park is currently away, bravely fighting for our country. That's precisely why I'm here—I was hoping you would be able to represent him at my upcoming birthday banquet. Her Majesty, the Queen, has also expressed her desire to meet you in person."

Your eyes widened at that, "Sh-she has?"

« Preview of Part 15 »

Feeling like you were left with little choice but to agree, you accepted the prince's invitation to his upcoming birthday banquet, scheduled just a week away.

Since bidding him goodbye, you had confined yourself to Seonghwa's study, burying yourself in your studies. The weight of the upcoming royal event weighed heavily on you. It would mark your debut in royal circles, and facing it without your husband by your side added to your nerves. Could anyone fault you for feeling anxious?

You contemplated seeking help. While Eunsook was supportive, her knowledge of palace affairs was limited. Would Hongjoong or Yunho be able to offer insight? Perhaps Jongho, with his years of service to the general, might have some valuable advice.

A light bulb went off in your head when you remembered San, the King's royal secretary. Surely, he would be the most knowledgeable about the matters you needed help with. However, your enthusiasm waned when you realised you had no means of reaching out to him. Moreover, you doubted he would have time to spare for a little woman like you, given his busy schedule.

Palming your forehead tiredly, you suddenly noticed a shadowy figure loitering suspiciously outside the study. Their silhouette, visible through the paper walls, didn't resemble anyone familiar, and it sent a shiver down your spine. If it had been one of the estate staff, they usually would have announced themselves.

Jumping to your feet, you instinctively grabbed the inkstone from Seonghwa's desk, preparing to defend yourself. With cautious steps, you approached the entrance where the unknown person lingered, apparently trying to catch a glimpse of you, "Who's there? I know you're not one of my staff. If you do not reveal yourself, I won't hesitate to hurt you!"

Your yelp escaped when the individual abruptly swung the door open in response to your words, "Woah woah, it's just me!" He reassured, causing you to pause with the stone halfway raised as you blinked in recognition, "O-oh, it's you..."

Scratching the back of his neck sheepishly, he apologised, "I'm sorry for startling you, Lady Park. In case you forgot, my name is Wooyoung. I'm here on the general's orders to assist you should you need anything."

Dun dun dunnn! Wonder what Prince Yeosang has up his sleeves heeheeee anyway, I just wanted to tell y'all that I'm about to have another crazy week ahead. So, like this part, the next one is probably gonna take a while too😭

Also, Happy Lunar New Year to those of you who celebrate it! As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! <3

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[midnightanxietytm]

Don't think about the dream! (NSFW)

A/n: this one is for @melle-d, so not my lamb, I had a lot of fun with this one, didn't even review it, just wrote. Also, can anyone send me a dollar for totally not related reasons? BRL don't really cover it.../j

Summary: But, since turning immortal, since getting their marvelous ring, Ewen, now known as just The Lamb, has looked forward to death, if only because they wish to see their beloved. Three nights ago though, things changed.

MINORS DNI - nsfw under cut

The Lamb is dreading their death.

Weird thing to feel, most people dread their death all their lives, it shouldn't be a new thing at all for them. But, since turning immortal, since getting their marvelous ring, Ewen, now known as just The Lamb, has looked forward to death, if only because they wish to see their beloved.

Three nights ago though, things changed and they had an… Interesting dream, one that involved their legs spread open and their god pounding them ruthlessly, and they’ve been thinking about it ever since, which was the root of their problem. If they died and ended up in his realm, Narinder would surely read their mind and see everything. Sure, it could be an opportunity to tease a bit, nothing they hadn’t done before, but that dream had been especially intimate and it had evoked a more visceral reaction than even their actual experiences.

Now, standing on the doorway to Anura, all ready for a crusade, for the first time, they hesitate. 

They step in anyways, promising themselves that this time it would be a no-death run.

It was not a no-death run.

There wasn’t much time to think about sex dreams when you’re getting swarmed by fireballs and jumped on by giant frogs, but as soon as they appeared on the summoning circle in front of their god and looked up at Narinder, the dream flashed tough their mind all over, a shiver going up their spine.

They don’t remember how it started, but they do remember the heated kisses, his clawed hands ripping their clothes, as Narinder revealed his own eldritch form; arms and abdomen pure bone, so much taller than them, pushing them into the ground and willing the crown into a barbed-

That all crossed the Lamb’s head before they had the sense to stop it. Oh sacred death they shouldn’t have thought about the dream.

There’s half a second of regret before Narinder speaks, his tone amused; “It matters not how many times you are struck down, as I’ve told you, but are you really that eager to see me, little vessel?”

Something about the way his voice rang through the infinite space brought another shiver to them and all they could think was; Don’t think about the dream, over and over, so no answer left their mouth as they looked to the side with an awkward chuckle.

Which seemed to be a mistake, because then came Narinder’s voice again; “What dream, Lamb?” Another shiver,now as they feel their god prod shamelessly into their mind, like cold tentacles prodding into their thoughts and- Oh lord, wrong train of thought! “It’s pointless to try and hide your mind from me, vessel, I own all of you, every thought of yours should be devoted to me.”

“Oh, believe me, my lord, they are.” They say, but almost regret as their tone gives away all the sinful things running through their mind. Narinder seems to find the memory of their dream just then, and Ewen catches a brief second of surprise in his features.

But then he laughs “Oh poor little vessel.” He says. “You wouldn’t be able to take me on this form.” He leans down and uses a giant hand to pull them closer. “Little Lamb, your desire is also devotion that fuels me, even if I can't personally satisfy them…”

The Lamb’s breath hitches at the implications. “I haven’t… I wouldn't dare disrespect your image, my lord.” They say, looking up through their lashes with big doe eyes and raising a hand to the bell on their neck. It was a pretended innocence, they both knew. The lamb had been not-so-subtly provoking Narinder since they first met.

  “Lamb, you are my vessel, you belong to me, every act of yours, every desire, is devotion to me.” The Lamb exhales shakily, the ring around their neck almost burns. “Go on, show me how devoted you are.”

Ewen raises their other hand and undoes the clasp of their fleece, letting it fall to their feet, then they move to remove their bell, but Narinder stops them. “Leave the bell, little lamb.” They do, and start to unbutton their clothes, all while looking up at their god. His hand was still resting on the ground behind them, and they lay down, leaning against it.

Narinder’s eyes are fixated on them as they spread open their legs, already painfully horny. They started to run their hands over their body, as they had done dozens of times before, but now, with their god watching them so intently, it felt so much better.

They don’t waste too much time, soon they’ve shoved two fingers inside themselves and moved them with reckless abandon, breathing shakily and letting out an occasional small bleat of pleasure. Narinder doesn’t say anything, but he watches them with a grin; three red eyes focused on them.

They decide then that if their god wanted to see their dream, they could show how it went, at least partially.

The crown, eager for sin, moves and transforms mid-air, assuming the phallic shape, with the barbs, just like they had imagined. Lamb slides further down, spreading their legs and raising their hips for their god's better view, and the crown shoves itself into them without hesitation.

  And the god watches; the Lamb’s pathetic bleats and moans fill the silence of death's realm with pleasure, with the hot dripping feeling that is desire. The crown moves slowly at first, but it only takes Narinder a bit of will to order it to move faster. 

The little Lamb rolls their eyes, calls his given name in between a moan and with a dumb satisfied smile on their face. Narinder can feel their devotion, their obsession, dripping like the wetness between their legs. “My lord!” They plead, eyes barely focusing on him. “I'm yours all yours!” They say it like a mantra, a prayer to belong to him and him only. 

They say Death is merciless, but Narinder feels quite merciful as he moves his hand to better support his darling vessel before willing the crown to go faster.

Ewen's mind feels melted; their god, Narinder, was looking at them with the repressed hunger only an immortal could have, the crown inside them was hitting all the right places, and their climax approached fast, so fast, almost there.

They cum with a desperate bleat, the crown finally slows down. Narinder takes in the sight of their perfect vessel lost in bliss; in another time, he would have adorned the little lamb in jewels and have them sit on the arm of his throne during every banquet, then take them to his chambers and fuck him over and over just to see them so beautifully blissed out.

But his chained form doesn’t allow him such things, so instead he allows the crown to return to the Lamb’s head — clean and back to its regular shape —  and nudges the lamb to stand on their shaky legs.

“Return to your duties, little vessel, but remember I'm always watching you.”

  The Lamb gets dressed, still a bit shaky, and is sent back to the cult, knowing that their god would have much to watch during the next few nights.

A/n: A little messy, but I had fun trying to write another Lamb, hope i did it justice.

Where are aym and baal during this scene? Out on a walk or smt idk. Whats the Lamb's genitalia like? Bruh whatever is convenient idc im not good at describing those things lol

[milksnake-tea]

taboo.

"I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?"

rollo flamme x gn!reader

contains: spoilers for twst's new event (kinda?), rollo (/j), tension, implied enemies to lovers, pining, mention of alcohol (no one is drinking, it's figurative language),

word count: 1k+

note: dedicated to @crysangria as compensation for him actually sleeping 💀💀 no banner because rollo doesn't deserve one <33 (/j, i'll make him one if he's popular enough)

i cant believe im reviving for yassified claude frollo of all people

edit: yall im crying but i should probably say that this was written pre-genocide rollo HAHSHS

---

You were, without a doubt, the worst person to walk the earth.

Heaven knows how you managed to find your way to Noble Bell, and only the Lord could tell how you hadn’t been kicked out yet. You were the opposite of what the college stood for. When students brooded, you joked. When authority put its foot down, you laughed - that stupid, stupid laugh of yours that tormented Rollo’s mind like the plague.

You were worse than that Malleus Draconia. You were a witch, a threat.

“Man, you look pissed.”

Rollo glared at you, unamused as you waltzed into his office as though you owned the place. Honestly, he has no idea where you get that confidence of yours. You’ve always been this way, from the moment you stepped into Noble Bell as a freshman and still during your third year, practically radiating with an ego.

“What do you want now?” he asked harshly, sparing you from the lecture this time.

You smiled mockingly, raising your hands in faux surrender. “Easy now, Prez. I don’t want to be here either.”

Then why do you come by so often? The question is buried in the back of Rollo’s mind, a lingering curiosity that he refuses to acknowledge. Instead, he opts for a colder approach, tearing his eyes away from your smirk and to the papers you waved around carelessly.

“Headmaster sent them.” You slap the papers down on his desk, ignoring whatever paperwork he was already doing. Rollo glowers at you, but once again, bites his tongue. “It’s the list for the students attending next week’s masquerade.”

“I can see that,” Rollo muttered, having the audacity to roll his eyes. You scoff.

“Well, I’m sorry for trying to help.”

“Right.” Rollo straightened out the papers, his lip curling as he read the name at the top of the list. Night Raven College, the school of Malleus Draconia. Right, that was another headache that was approaching… Although Draconia would surely prove to be interesting- one way or another.

“Damn, how’d they get Draconia on there? I heard the guy basically lives in his dormitory.”

Rollo nearly screams as you speak right next to his ear, draping yourself over his chair to peer over his shoulder at the list. You reach over him, tracing the names of each person attending and muttering to yourself under your breath. It’s one of the few moments where you’re serious - for as unorthodox as you could be, even you had your dignity when it came to not embarrassing yourself in front of the headmaster.

Meanwhile, Rollo is split - torn between logic and emotion.

He wants to snap at you, to scold you for invading his personal space without asking. He wants to shove you off his chair and dismiss you from his office. He wants to treat you like he would any other student who dared to blatantly disrespect his authority like this, to remind you of just who he was.

But he doesn’t.

Instead, his body betrays him. He shivers at your voice, your breath grazing just the shell of his ear, burning it a bright red. Your presence at his shoulder is somehow comforting, despite how desperately he wishes it wasn’t. Something is clamping down on his chest, a lead weight that restricts his airflow as he struggles to breathe.

This is the power you held over him, and he was damn sure you knew it.

“Are you even listening to me?” Your annoyed tone snaps him out of his stupor. Rollo looks like a deer caught in headlights, but he quickly composes himself (praying that you didn’t notice).

“I doubt you have anything to say that’s worth listening to.” His voice is detached and blunt, and yet he practically forces out the reply. Your eyes narrow, and he freezes as he meets your glare.

Your eyes are captivating, a swirling inferno of anger that he can’t help but find intoxicating. Somewhere in the back of his befuddled mind, he is afraid, but like a moth to a flame, he can’t look away. It’s a taboo beauty that he can’t help but indulge himself, if just for a moment.

“What did you just say?” you say slowly, the suppressed anger in your voice igniting something alien within him. Rollo swallows thickly.

“...You heard me.” The reply is small, almost fearful, but he manages to stand his ground. “Don’t make me repeat myself.”

“God, you’re so full of yourself,” you scoff, rolling your eyes.

“And you’re insufferable,” Rollo murmurs, almost as though he was trying to convince himself. You snorted, leaning in until your noses brushed.

“You like me insufferable.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, and yet it’s enough to steal Rollo’s own.

He knows you’re right. He knows it as a concrete fact, despite his efforts to deny it. He knows, but God, does he hate it. He hates the way his heart betrays him, tapping away like a deranged dancer in his chest. He hates how badly he wants to agree, how brightly burned he is, but he loves it. 

He's addicted to your fire, a divine yet forbidden liquor that's always just out of reach.

Rollo's mouth gapes open like a fish, mouthing nonsensical words that even he finds to be nonsense. Only you can do this to him, to rid him of his words, to leave him speechless before you like a fool.

And yet, as he stares into hellfire itself, he still somehow finds himself indignant.

"Don't flatter yourself," he finally mutters, hastily jerking his flushed face away from yours. He hears you laugh, a sound that's sure to replay in his head for the next few hours- no, days.

You straighten off of his chair, that infuriating smile still etched onto your lips. He wonders how they'd feel against his own.

“Whatever you say, Prez,” you say easily, as if nothing had happened. Rollo wishes he could do the same, but alas, you’ve been given front-row seats to his turmoil. He can practically hear the condescension in your eyes when he sees your knowing look.

“Get out,” he snaps, pinching his nose as you snicker. “Now.”

[alltomevibes]

Summer 2024 Watchlist

It is officially summer which means I am out of school and have time to just sit !!! watch !!! and do nothing !!!

which means - here's my drama watchlist & my thoughts on everything so far:

Dare to Love Me - i started this yesterday and let me j say I flew through those 2 episodes. I decided to brave the comments on MDL to see what people were saying, and then i ignored them LOL because yeah. this show is highkey silly goofy but i love it! the FL is endearing to me and i hate how nowadays every woman has to be Strong and Confident to be loveable and it's like - no. i love the fact that she gets choked up, that she tries and fails, that she is mad clumsy, that she's clearly talented but has been burdened by lack of self-esteem like yes!!! she's human i love it give me MORE. and don't get me started on the ML. i love him - i love THEM your honor. currently at a 9.0 rating for me, we'll see if it keeps up.

Dating in the Kitchen - this has a 8.0 rating for me and i want to keep going (i only watched 1 episode and it's been two weeks since then) because i watched This Isn't What I expected THREE (3!!) times and i LOVE that movie and when I saw there was a drama based on it, i wanted to give it a go but i am STRUGGLINGGGG. imma keep it pushing because, look. i watched the movie 3 times. it's def worth it. (maybe)

Fight for My Way - this has a 9.5 rating rn, and i am stuck in the middle of episode 15. i have been stuck on the middle of episode 15 for a HOT minute. my interest in this show dropped like crazy, i am trying to hold on.

Good Morning Call - my roommate for two years (and sadly no more a ha ha) recommended this show to me and we watched the first episode together and it was cute! i liked it, so it's on my list. currently has a 8.5 rating, but it's low on my priorities (when it comes to dramas), so im gonna pirate it whenever i have time💀

Lovely Runner - don't even talk to me about this show if you want a short conversation - I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS SHOW BRO. look at my tumblr, it's all lovely runner rn and I HAVE NO REGRETS. 9.5 rating - won't get a 10 because it ENDS SOON. this is my type of show, i LOVE this type of show the cinematography and everything IM EATING IT UP. it got me out of my drama funk its so nfjsdfhdsifsd

The Midnight Romance in Hagwon: let me just say! i watched this yesterday and i flew by the two episodes. lovely runner x tmrih on my tumblr? yes. this show is a much slower-pace show and I LOVE IT. YEs! Give me real life, give me real conversations! I love this show, i love the micro-expressions, i love the fact that WHJ is the MAIN LEAD FOR ONCE LIKE YES SIR, GIVE ME ALL THE BUTTERFLIES and i've never seen this actress before JRW but she is absolutely gorgeous and i love the FL! these people are not acting, they ARE the characters and im so !!!!! 9.0 rating because i skip the intro every time (sorry)

Will Love in Spring - this is on pause on episode 15 because the ending actually has me severely messed up rn. i have been in love with li xian's acting since gogosquid and i absolutely adore chen mai dong. i adore the way zhuang jie says his name ALL the time like she can't help it. I adore zhuang jie and just the way she operates through life - she's so clearly flawed when it comes to romantic love, but she is so clearly filled with love and always tries her best and !!! zhou yu tong is eating her character up rn, i've never seen her act and this was such a good intro to her BUT WHAT ZHUANG JIE SAID TO MY BOY IN EPISODE 15????? locked up. i have never felt so disrespected in my life and i had to give it a pause because i know she's gonna apologize but i needed that on the train. not the next episode. actually, not even on the train!! IN THE STREET BEFORE HE DROVE OFF AFTER DRIVING HER HOME AFTER SHE ACCUSED HIM OF FORCING HER!!!! That's when she should have apologized, but fidjofdshifudsf i love her so much i know why she couldn't IM JUST IN AGONY RN. anyways, let me breathe lol cause the way i was holding my breathe writing that is,,,,,. yeah. has an 8.5 rating rn, will probably go up to 9.5 because the fact that i actually had to stop watching because of emotional damage is crazy.

thats my list (and crazy descriptions, so sorry) that i'm watching rn! i would 10/10 recommend these to everybody (except dating in the kitchen im highkey struggling)! if you guys have any recs based on what i shared or wanna be friends on MDL j let me know :)

[anxiousalene]

MY THOUGHTS ON THE WISDOM SAGA ⌛️

USUALLY, I PUT THIS IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL THERE IS NO WAY ATHENA JUST DIED. I REFUSE IT HOW DARE ZEUS SHE WAS MY FAVORITE WHAT THE HELL. (That was me last night) OKAY SO I LOVE MICO’S VOICE ITS SO ADORABLE AND IN THE ANIMATIC WE GET TO SEE ARGOS! I KNOW THIS HAS BEEN SAID BEFORE BUT I LOVE THE FACT THAT WHEN TELEMACHUS SOMEONE SEND ME A SIGN WE HEAR ATHENA’S MOTIF. ALSO ANTINOUS CAN MEET ME IN THE PARKING LOT IF HE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT PENELOPE LIKE THAT. DONT YOU DARE DISRESPECT MY GIRL. ALSO WE FINALLY GET TO HEAR THE “Whatchu gonna do about it champ?” AND ITS SO GOOD. ALSO THE FACT THAT TELEMACHUS SAYS “IF I FIGHT THIS MONSTER IS IT YOU I’LL FIND” BECAUSE HIM AND ODYSSEUS GET REUNITED WHEN THEY ARE SLAUGHTERING THE SUITORS AND BECAUSE ODYSSEUS HAS BECOME THE MONSTER THAT TELEMACHUS WILL FIND. I LOVE THE VIDEO GAME FEELS WITH LITTLE WOLF, ANTINOUS BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF TELEMACHUS AND ATHENA BEING LIKE NAHHH AND JUMPING IN AND ATHENA TEACHING HIM TO FIGHT WITH QUICK THOUGHT IS SO CUTE. THE DUET BETWEEN MICHO AND TEAGAN IS GOOD LIKE HOW ARE THEY HITTING THOSE NOTES??? The fact that Athena is still so upset about the whole Odysseus thing is heartbreaking 💔. ITS SO COOL TO SEE HER GO THROUGH THE PAST SAGAS and then we see…CALYPSO! Barbara Wangui’s voice is just so vibey like THE CAST FOR THIS SHOW IS JUST PERFECT. Poor Odysseus being stuck with Calypso and literally just suffering. That man is TRAUMATIZED. ALSO IS POLITIES EVER GOING TO STOP HAUNTING ODYSSEUS AND THE NARRATIVE LIKE I DONT NEED THAT GUT PUNCH EVERY SAGA. AND THE FACT ODYSSEUS CALLED OUT FOR ATHENA IS JUST AHHHHH. Then the one I have been waiting for GOD GAMES! I Love how Apollo and Hephaestus are both like he did this thing and I’m like kinda upset and Athenas like nah he didn’t mean it, and they’re like Okay!! He can go! I CANNOT GET OVER ALL THE THOUGHT THAT GOES BEHIND THE MUSIC ITS SELF, LIKE THE TINKERING IN THE BACKGROUND FOR HEPHAESTUS AND THE FACT THAT ITS JORGE’S DAD ITS JUST AGHHH. THEN J. MAYA COOKING AS APHRODITE, HER VOICE JUST SOOTHES MY BRAIN. AND THEN ARES COMING IN AND ATHENA BEATING HIM AND THEY BOTH BEGRUDGINGLY LET HIM GO, love how Jay paired them up. Hera’s music is so like funky and fun and Athena knows EXACTLY how to get her stepmom to pick her side in the father-daughter argument. BUT BECAUSE ZEUS IS SUCH A SORE FREAKING LOSER AND HE CANT ACCEPT THAT HIS DAUGHTER WON FAIR AND SQUARE…HE ATTACKS HER, Like Holt’s voice is GENUINELY terrifying, you can get the rumbling in his voice like THUNDER. I LITERALLY STARTED CRYING WHEN I SAW ATHENA GETTING HANDED A BABY TELEMACHUS AND THE WARRIOR OF THE MIND MELODY PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND AND THE FACT THAT ATHENAS (ALLEGED) LAST WORDS WERE HER BEGGING ZEUS TO LET ODYSSEUS FREE. LIKE HOW COULD JAY DO THAT TO ME. THIS SAGA WAS DEVASTATING BUT ABSOLUTELY AMAZING PER USUAL. I APPRECIATE THE CAST AND THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE SCENES SO MUCH

[yanderederee]

MangaMayhem

MiniMemories

March14th, 2004

:before…› here! › next! › …

For the next four months, Baji Keisuke has found himself in many frustrating situations.

Chronologically; once Ryusei caught hook of Baji’s interest in you, he was over the moon. He thought it was hilarious.

The Baji Keisuke: The mad dog of Toman, 1st Division Attack fleet Captain…

… turning into a tame lapdog under your scowl.

Chifuyu enabled this, especially when you agreed to tutor him as well. You were encouraging, putting together the most detailed of study packets together. How you made flash cards with cute doodles on some of them for hints or reminders.

… had you not already been spoken for, he would have fell in love on day one.

However, Chifuyu, above anything else, was Baji’s right hand man. Chifuyu would never intentionally disrespect him like that.

—unless—

Your reputation took a bit of a dip anytime you were seen around school with them, so Baji became more strict of his friends’ boundaries. He couldn’t have your name getting out to a rival gang somewhere. He couldn’t risk you finding out his underground reputation.

That’s the part that always confused Baji.

Baji was confident in who he was. He would chew anyone out for daring to say any different.

Yet the thought of you seeing him in toman garb,

his fists red and angry,

the face of bloodlust taking his features to terrifying heights,

the things he prided himself in!

He felt scared.

Baji didn’t have the emotional maturity to really explain the reason for this reaction.

He just really wanted you to like him, even if it meant hiding who he really was, becoming soft, if only for a few minutes.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯✦

“Come on Baji, you can be honest with me!” Chifuyu mused loudly, still pulling manga out from the box he dragged up two floors of apartment stairs.

“You’re a dumbass.” Baji spat at the blonde, releasing Peke J from his hold once he was finally brushed through. Having an outdoor cat means taking care of their coat more often than usual.

Not like Sango, who was stuck being a indoor ball of energy. He was more surprised that his mom was so easy to convince after mentioning how he’d come across the injured cat.

No, Sango’s coat was fluffy and was inconvenient for his black wardrobe. But instead of blaming Sango, he simply bought a pack of lint rollers which were in every room of the apartment now.

“I don’t mean that honest,” Chifuyu snapped his fingers to get Baji’s attention back. “Just read the damn mangas!” He ordered with a confident grin. “Anything that’s confusing you, I’m sure you can find a solution among these babies!”

Finally looking at what brightly colored manga was being shoved in his hand, Baji instinctively threw the novel full speed into Chifuyu’s forehead.

“What the hell?!” Chifuyu screamed, covering his nose with whiny protest. “What the hell is right! Don’t give me that crap! You know I ain’t interested in that kinda stuff!” Baji scowled his friend, face red.

It took him a few minutes to calm down, but after some gourmet peiyan yakisoba, and a few bribes later, Baji finally agreed to read the first three manga volumes. Chifuyu could be very convincing, after all.

Shojo manga were never really his thing. The fighting was too mellow and no one had the balls to actually say what they meant.

He thought it was so Lame.

But Chifuyu knows what kind of person Keisuke Baji was. He was kind and protective, misleadingly rude at times, but gentle when it mattered. Chifuyu did his research, and picked a select few golden titles amongst his collection.

The perspective of the titles he so gingerly picked were from the male gaze, and their thought process when falling in love with the female lead.

So lame.

Baji wanted to be bored, if only to spite his over dramatic underclassman. But fate be damned, when he actually sat through it, he became invested.

He accidentally finished first volume in twenty minutes. How the hell could it leave off on a cliff hanger though? Keisuke wanted to chalk it up to shitty writing but when he reached for the second volume it kicked in.

“No way! You read that way too fast! Com’on!” Chifuyu roared, accusing his friend of not actually reading it.

Baji lazily read through it a second time, taking in the words and considering things that made him feel the same way. It was so lame to waste so much time trying to relate to a dumbass who can’t even talk to some chick.

Yet there he was, middle of a page when a pang echoed in his chest.

The plot Chifuyu had picked follows a Male Lead who was born with a scary face, making it so no one would get close to him; who then meets a girl from the neighboring school. She is kind, and only sees him for his kind heart, helping him learn what it means to feel romantic love.

(“The Fragrant Flower Blooms with Dignity”!! Please read !!!!! )

… And in this particular scene, the female lead gently admits ‘that was actually really cool!’ when he had scared off the group of guys who tried to attack the girl.

Do girls think being scary is cool?

Baji glared at Chifuyu, who was excitedly waiting for his reactions. “This is bullshit,” he rolled his eyes.

“No way! The hell you saying that for?!” The blond retorted.

“I didn’t want to say it but honestly Baji…” Chifuyu shook his head. “…you’re the real dumbass.”

You are here… › next! › …

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

Hello ✨ I was wondering 👉👈 if you’re still doing the celebration fics 🫣 may I please request Crosshair with “In a week” by hozier

Thank you 💕💕💕

Hello Anon!

Thank you for this amazing request: In a week by Hozier

It was ... wow. This one was a rough one. It lead to only one way. Angsty.

I hope you like my interpretation of it.

Love oo

In A Week

Warnings: Angst, fluff (if you squint), kiss, freezing, cold, different AU to the Mayday episode, implied demise. I think that's if. If I miss anything please let me know.

Main Master List   | Star Wars Jukebox Roulette |   AO3 Link

It started with arguing, that’s how it always started between the two of you. 

After a few months of intense distrust and annoyance, it shifted into respect for each other’s work. 

Still arguing, but with respect coated throughout.

Then you were assigned together on a mission, and it didn’t necessarily hurt your working relationship, but it didn’t necessarily help either. There was less arguing, but that was about it. 

When the Empire took over, things became more intense on Kamino and in the galaxy at large, but things between the two of you seemed to smooth out weirdly enough. However, you were being permanently assigned to Crosshair’s team now. Which was weird to an extent, but oddly comforting to another. 

That’s always been your relationship with Crosshair, on the one hand things were always tense and a moment away from exploding, on the other, you both highly respected each other and were ready to jump to each other’s defence if anyone even dared to disrespect either of you. 

So the fact, you were curled into Crosshair’s side as the snow came pelting down on the two of you, was somewhat ironic, as you shivered in each other’s arms. 

“M-maybe w-w-we s-should’ve l-let M-mayday search I-instead.”

Crosshair huffed, “A reg? Please.”

“H-he’s n-not t-that b-bad.”

“Hmph, of course y-you’d say t-that.”

“Y-you’re n-not t-that b-b-bad, e-e-either.”

Crosshair looked at you, “Really?”

You nodded as your eyes drifted close.

He shook you away, “Hey, c-come o-on. You n-n-need to s-stay awake.”

“I-it’s c-cold. I-i-i j-just n-n-need a n-nap.”

He squeezed you tighter in his arms, “Quitter”

“W-what?”

“You. Are. A. Quitter.”

“Am not!”

“Are too. You’d rather take the easy way out t-t-t-t-then try and find a way o-out t-together.”

“T-that’s n-not true.”

“No? W-what about u-us?”

You froze and looked at him as he shook in the cold, his armour doing little to keep him warm, “W-w-what a-are y-you t-talking about?”

He looked into your eyes, his shaking hand trailing along your jaw, “Y-you k-know.”

“N-no. I-i-i n-need to h-hear I-it.”

“I l-l-ove y-you”

You curled into him, as you gently kissed him with shaky lips, but his lips were just as cold as yours, “S-sh-should’ve d-d-done t-this s-s-sooner.”

“W-w-we can try n-next t-time.”

“M-m-mayday w-w-will  f-find u-us.”

Crosshair held you close, agreeing that you’d be found. It may be a week later, but you’d be found eventually. He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead as he held you close, keeping you as warm as possible for as long as possible. 

The temperature was dropping too quickly. The best Crosshair could hope for, was that neither of you felt it when it happened. He watched as your eyes closed, his followed shortly after.

“I …” your voice was barely above a whisper, “I l-l-l-ove y-you, t-too.”

“Shhh, s-s-sleep. T-t-t-they’ll b-b-be h-h-here s-s-soon.”

You held him close, as you let a tear slide down your cheek, you knew he was lying, but it didn’t matter. Because at this moment, in the moment that actually mattered, you were in his arms and that was the best place to be.

Crosshair closed his eyes, he had you in his arms, and for all the pain and suffering he went through, at least in these final moments. You were there with him. 

Main Master List   | Star Wars Jukebox Roulette |   AO3 Link

Tag list:

@liadamerondjarin @badbatch-simp24

@spicymcnuggies@lady-ren

@firstofficerwiggles @darkangel4121

@discofern @kavecika

@monako-jinn-stories @ladykatakuri

@avathebestx

@theroguesully @furyhellfire66

@carodealmeida

@ciramaris @sprout-fics

@twinkofthedink @dindjarin-mandalorian

@ulchabhangorm

@littlemisspascal @tortor-mcgee

@vodika-vibes @clonethirstingisreal

@crosshair-is-the-superior-clone @totallyunidentified

@griffedeloup @leotatombs

@leotawrites

[ohgodimafraud]

allergic to touching grass - t/diapt (u/rushihara)

this fic is like just over 1k words and takes place s2e13 when theyre all weeding bc the landlady asked them to and the demons are all paranoid about the Girl Talk situation. i j think he shoudve sneezed the entire time idk.

“You haven’t moved from that spot in an eternity, Urushihara!”

Urushihara squinted up without moving his head at the cause of the sudden shade from the overbearing sun. Though he generally considered Ashiya’s complaints to be a nuisance, he found the scolding easier to tune out than the summer’s heat. Eventually the rampage would end if he pretended to try.

He made a point of ripping out a singular weed a few centimeters from his shoe.

“For shame! You didn’t uproot it properly. Miss Sasaki is doing far more of the work than you.”

“Ugh, dude, lay off.” He rubbed at his eyes with the heel of one of his hands, and when that did nothing but aggravate it more, he took a portion of the cooling towel hanging around his neck to scrub at his eyes and nose. “It’s too hot and I’m all ih-itchy. I agreed to some light weeding,” he paused to sniffle twice, “not cooking out here indefinitely.”

“It’s not even been thirty minutes.”

“Would go faster if you’d leave me alone.”

“Sire, please!” Ashiya cried out to Maou like a wife begging her husband to discipline their delinquent child. Japan really had done a number on them all.

The wind whooshed a few falling leaves across the yard. 

Maou sighed. “Sorry you had to see this,” he mumbled to Chiho, who was generally too happy to be there to care about their eccentricities. “C’mon, guys. Behave for once.”

Suzuno gave Maou a long, silent stare as she walked past him. He huffed in response and averted his gaze from her judgment. If looks could kill, she wouldn’t need that mallet.

Urushihara squinted up at the sun as he ripped out another singular weed and put it to rest with its brethren. It was starting to feel like he had inhaled fluffy dandelion seeds and they’d gotten stuck up his nose, though it was highly unlikely considering that those weren’t even the weeds that were growing on the property. His vision had gone from blurry to bleary, only briefly clearing when he squeezed out another irritated tear. The itch in his nose had blossomed into something monstrous and requiring all of his focus. He grabbed the end of the towel and brought it up to his nose while his breath hitched fruitlessly.

Maou looked up from his task. “Dude, are you crying?”

“No, i-iht’s…Hehh…ugh, my n-nose ihh-is…hihh…” 

“Ah,” he said, nodding and waving his hand dismissively, “Take your time.”

Urushihara managed to open his eyes enough to shoot him a glare before pitching down into a portion of the towel. “KSHHH’ieeh! hh…Ehkshhiih! HYSHHHh’ieeh! Guhh…sh-shuttup!”

“Don’t talk to his majesty in such a disrespectful manner!”

“ihYESHhh’iehh!” Urushihara responded, cheeks turning a pink flush to match the visible irritation of his nose. 

Maou sighed again. Nothing could ever be easy. It was bad enough that Chiho, Emi, and Bel were hiding something, but now this task was being dragged out and Urushihara was once again looking worse for the wear. It wasn’t like this would hinder their investigation—if anything gave them more of a reason to visit the bathhouse afterwards—but still, he was wondering if subjecting his laziest demon general to this moderate manual labor was worth it when he was barely contributing anyway. “Jeez…you good?”

“Do I, like,” he started in a deadpan tone, paused to sniffle and consequently sneezed from exasperating the tickle in his nose, “hihgKxshh’ih! s-sound good?” He scrubbed at his nose from behind the towel that had turned into a rough excuse for a tissue. 

“Always with the theatrics,” Ashiya mumbled, diligently pulling the weeds in Urushihara’s vicinity. 

“Dude, that’s yihh—IHtSHHh’ighh! Guh…shit!” He rubbed his eyes so he could roll them properly at Ashiya. “That’s your thing, not mine.” 

“How dare you!”

Suzuno, who had already had enough of her neighbors this afternoon, interrupted the start of what likely would turn into another pointless tiff with a neutral observation. “Lucifer, your face is looking blotchy. Could it be an allergy?”

“Dude, what else would it be?” He rubbed his nose and scowled at the multiple pairs of eyes on him. The urge to sneeze refused to subside or even significantly diminish in spite of all of his efforts. Pawing At his nose seemed to exasperate his suffering. “hNGT’SHHuh!” he sneezed, failing to suppress it. It left his ears ringing and his nose burning. He gave a dry cough and shifted his head so his side bang would cover more of his face. “IhhGKhshh’ieh!

“You were fine on the farm, though,” Maou said, furrowing his brow. 

“I think the pollen count is really bad today,” Chiho supplied gently as she approached them. She found a packet of tissues in her bag and offered it to Urushihara like he hadn’t thrown her off a building only months ago. Bygones and all that. He accepted it wordlessly, without so much as making eye contact. “Different locations have different types of it too.”

“What, he’s allergic to touching grass now?” Maou sighed as Urushihara blew his nose noisily into one of the tissues. “Hey, at least say thank you, man.”

“He can’t ride in a car, be near a small cat, can’t clean, and apparently can’t venture outside. What can he do?”

Urushihara glared at the grass and muttered obscenities under his breath and something about hacking government databases before sneezing again, fumbling to bring a clean tissue to his nose. 

“Give the poor guy a break,” Chiho interjected, trying to keep the peace as always, “This isn’t his fault.”

“Please, Sasaki-san,” Ashiya said gravely, shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose, “He’s happy to have an excuse to laze about. Last week he pretended to have arthritis to shirk his one task of folding the laundry.”

“Dude…really?”

Chiho and Suzuno stared at him.

“I just said my hand was cramping up!” Urushihara’s voice cracked as he yelled.

“From playing all of those incessant games!”

“Can we not air out all our dirty laundry right now?” Maou slumped forwards, his smile hanging by a thread. “For once?”

Ashiya bowed and swore to pick up the slack, and Urushihara went a few yards south to continue sneezing his way through the remaining tissues in the pack. By the time the weeding was finished, Emi had arrived to whisk away Bel and Chiho. Just as planned. 

“ehTSshhh’ieuh!”

Kind of. 

Emi immediately rolled her eyes at Urushihara and commented, “Wow, he looks like even more of a hot mess than usual.”

“...shut up.” 

[sweetandsavageautistic]

(CW: Cringe, puzzle pieces, Autism Moms, potential sensory eyesore, ableism possibly, like one sex joke)

Welcome back to me harshly criticizing graphic design choices that people make about autism where I find pictures of shirts and whatnot and I tear into them like a lion tearing into its prey. Let's get into it.

In the words of @rebmasel on TikTok: "Ka-chow."

First up the only appropriate way to do this review is in the style of Dr. Seuss.

I do not like the puzzle piece, for it disturbs my fucking peace.

The color purple is real nice, but the message here I would think twice.

No tacky colors, so that's good. I don't hate it, though I feel I should.

Final Score: 4 out of 10. I'd rather not see this again.

I know the first line's kinda cheating, but I couldn't really think of any other fitting rhyme.

Next up is this:

This is already miles better than most of what I've seen.

The colors aren't tacky, they're actually kinda nice.

You have two wolves inside of you, both of them are gay and autistic. /ref

Autism Acceptance, that's a win.

Infinity symbol instead of puzzle piece, fuck yes.

Only criticism is that it's kind of a cheesy message, but not the worst.

Final Score: 9.5 out of 10. I'd wear it.

And then the quality drops here.

Puzzle piece means you lost points.

"Autism Mom." You can say it's difficult to raise an autistic child, but you're not a goddamn superhero.

How dare you use Rosie the Riveter for this. The disrespect. /hj

The military font is tacky.

I don't like seeing blue associated with autism, but at least it's not an abominable shade of blue.

Final Score: 1 out of 10. Get it out of my sight.

Speaking of lions that I mentioned earlier:

I'm already liking the absence of puzzle pieces.

Autism Acceptance is a yes.

When a lioness has children, she stops making love to the lion. The lion gets jealous, sometimes so jealous he EATS the children. You'd think this would upset the lioness; far from it. They make love again like the children never existed. I find that idea terrifying. /q

Not a fan of the colors, they're too dark for my taste.

The message feels cheesy.

Final Score: 7.5 out of 10. I dunno if I'd wear it, but it's not the worst design I've seen. The effort and care are present.

This feels like a roller coaster because it went downhill again.

"Share your friends." As someone with PDA, to quote Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 3, Line 87; "No." /hj

Autism Awareness. Once again, I am very aware of my existence but sometimes I wish I wasn't; there are days where I'd like to be both perceived and NOT perceived.

The blue isn't tacky, thank God.

I hate the quote because it gives the message that autism is nothing but a burden.

Also there's a bit too much going on with it, all of the decals and shit.

I don't see any puzzle pieces, so thank God.

Final Score: 2 out of 10. I do not recommend.

This is a bit different.

There's just way too much going on in this. Absolute eyesore.

Return of the Tacky Elementary School Colors, except they dragged orange into it this time.

So many puzzle pieces.

Why is everyone trying to fight autism? It's just minding its business.

I'm pretty sure that that's going to be a signal to mean kids to bully your kid. Like, even if there's more understanding of autism, there are still asshole crotch goblins.

I haven't "done" autism, but I am curious as to whether or not autism is good in bed. /j

Final Score: 1 out of 10. No thanks, I'll pass.

Let's end part 2 on a high note.

Simple design, but colorful and pretty easy on the eyes.

And the colors aren't patronizing.

No puzzle pieces.

Acknowledgement of the intersectionality of autism and sexuality.

No cheesy message; just a funky design about autism and gayness. Not all autism shirts have to be serious or UwU or motivating, so it's always a nice change of pace.

Final Score: 11 out of 10. As an asexual biromantic autistic, I'd wear this.

[jeannineee]

hi darling, i was wondering if you could possibly do a nsfw alphabet for manon blackbeak ?

she’s my absolute favorite character in the sjm universe 🖤👀

p.s. i absolutely love your writing, it brings a smile to my face no matter what

NSFW Alphabet: Manon Blackbeak (Throne of Glass)

a/n: thank you for the compliment!! You guys are too sweet. My requests are open for ANY SJM character. Male, female, main characters, side characters, etc.

nsfw under the cut (18+ please)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Complete opposite of how she is during sex. Gentle and doting. She’ll bathe you, massage your sore muscles. She’ll get you anything you need. Your well-being is her priority.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

For her? Her thighs. They’re very toned, and she loves having you ride them.

For you, your boobs. She’ll take her time marking them, with her lips, her teeth, her nails.

(Dare I say, blood kink?)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

By the time she’s done with you, both of your bodies are slick with arousal.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Wouldn’t mind sharing you, but would want to discuss with you extensively beforehand.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Do I really need to elaborate on this? Manon can fuck. Let’s be real.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Again, loves when you ride her thigh. Also likes face-sitting, 69’ing. And any position that gives her control over you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

I don’t see her being goofy. She takes it seriously.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Yes the carpet matches the drapes. She keeps it well-trimmed. She just prefers it that way.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Let me put it simply: there are some nights where she wants to make love to you, but most of the time, she’s fucking your brains out.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

It was a regular thing for her before you. After she met you, she had no need to do it, unless she would be away from you for an extended period of time.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

OH BOY!!!

Likes to mix praise and degradation, but uses degradation more.

Into BDSM.

Bondage!! Dominance, rough sex, impact play, etc.

Choking, spanking, edging, overstimulation.

Blood kink lolol.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Prefers the bedroom, but will absolutely take you to an empty room if you’re in public and needy enough.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your quick wit and snarky comments. She lives for that shit. Especially when you give her attitude in public. Because once you get home? Game over.

“Not so tough now, huh? Where’d that attitude go, pet?”

“Wonder what everyone else would think if they knew what a needy little slut you are for me behind closed doors.”

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Just about anything is on the table with her. You both have a safe word, and discuss limits regularly. She wouldn’t disrespect your boundaries.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Takes her time between your legs, whether she overstimulating you until you can’t think, or edging you until you cry.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Normally rough, but there are nights where she prefers to go slower.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Doesn’t prefer them. But if you’re needy, she’ll go for it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Will absolutely take risks and is down to experiment. (See K = Kinks)

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Stamina is through the roof. She can easily go all night.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Idk if they exist in ToG world, but if they did, she’s absolutely be using them on you. And herself, occasionally.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Mean as fuck. Will edge you for HOURS. She’ll always make sure you come, but she definitely enjoys dragging it out.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not super loud, until she’s close to finishing. But she does degrade and praise you a lot throughout.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Wouldn’t mind subbing for you, just to try it.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

She’s toned, has perky breasts. She has subtle curves. She’s a goddess, really.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Very very high. She could take you anytime, really.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It takes her a while. You’re almost always asleep before she is. Eventually, she’ll fall asleep to the sound of your breathing.

[incusatasche-warrior]

THATS IT

I am the one and only (/j), SQUARES here. How dare you disrespect me !!!

Hmmm

nah, i'm pretty sure your name was rectangle

[king-of-a-kingless-world]

BRO THIS POOR DOKEBI HES JUST TRYNA DO HIS JOB HES BEING NICE TO THE INCARNATIONS AND HES TRYING HIS BEST I UGHHHHH 😭😭😭 this poor sweet thing, if i was u id run away from dokja hes gonna bully you.

panel 354 of dokja looking pretty 😌

something about this just feels disrespectful to sangah. like yea she pretty but...thats kinda fucked up persephone. if some fabled being put on my face and did ...that... id not be happy. at all.

BROOOOO WHAT DOES IT MEEAAAANNNNNN

NONONONO FUCK OFF NASTY HORRIBLE WOMAN LEAVE NO ONE LIKES YOU(thats a lie i like you just pls stop)

NEVER. try to tell me kdj isnt gay. ☝️

he legit shuts down a baddie to just say he wants her husband like bro 🙄

hey, uh, what the fuck does this mean? latter days, gigatitanomicha or whatever its called, the outer gods, BRO JUST TELL ME WHATS GOING ON THIS AINT EVEN FORESHADOWING YOUR GIVING ME NAMES AND ARC TITLES BUT NOT INFO ON WHAT IT MEANS MATE WHAT THE HELL

YOOSUNG MY POOR BABY WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

see dokja keeps trying to say he doesnt care and he just doing things to get the ending he wants but thats a LIE HE FUCKING CARES MATE J DARE YOU TO TELL ME HE DONT

brroooOOOOOOOOOOOOO I FUCKIN CANT LEGIT SOBBING RIGHT NOW OK THANKS FOR THAT GOD DAMN

istg if he fails to save her im killing.

mate....its the apocalypse.

"i dont know if youve heard" mate she's literally his mom.

hes legit looking at the woman who ruined his life i think he knows

she gave him childhood trauma I THINK HE FUCKING KNOWS MATE

THE CHAIRS HAHAHA

the polotician getting the regal like chair, the actress getting the fancy cushiony chair, the other two getting basic wooden chairs, kdj mom getting a metal folding chair and DOKJA WITH THE CRAPPY PLASTIC CHAIR AHHAHAHAHAH I CANT BOOOOYYYYY

bro the majority does not want to do things your way. boom democracy. ur done. shut it. no one likes you.

knowing why hes angry, that face looks like hes so jealous. like hes looking at kdj like he betrayed him. gay. u gay.

dokja having a panic attack bc his bf isnt picking him for the 6th scenario.

but the thing about yjh is he wasnt going to bc he didnt know kdj from past regressions, no matter how much he wants to be close to kdj hes going to push him away bc he doesnt have the safety net of past knowledge. he doesnt know whats going on so he stays away. he may not act like it and he may not even know it but it highly likely hes almost scared. (not rn ofc but when it comes to kdj and his relationship with kdj)

GILYOUNG PROTECTING YOOSUNG AWWWW

[prince-damien-of-darkness]

As per your last (that I saw) reblog, here is one 'thing I'd like to know about you'

Other than that weird guy mark you watch often, who are the top three youtubers for you?

Excluding asmr as most of us know those, and maybe list those too?

Gasp how dare you disrespect the name of Mark Iplier! /j

To be honest right now most of the stuff I watch on YouTube is either ASMR or letsplayers

Currently I'm watching a lot of GTLive from the Theorist Channels (I highly recommend it)

Cinema Therapy, Cinema Wins, and Thomas Sanders are pretty good too

For ASMR, I will forever recommend Sundew Audios/Sunny Comforts as his stuff is pure wholesomeness, trans male inclusive and was the one who got me into ASMR!

Nomad's Tales and Audios is another great one. His Frosthaven series is packed with lore and lovable characters and if that's not your scene, then he has plenty of one of audios that are just as great! (Also amazing art by the equally amazing Pallious)

Redacted. Obvi

And so many more!!! I really have a lot and I don't want to make this too long lol.

If you have any questions or need recommendations, my Dms and asks are open!

[the-ellia-west]

New Wip Snapshots because I HAVE ALL THE INSPO RN TO WRITE ALL 3 WIPs AT ONCE

But I can't edit TCOT unless I have a computer, and I'm waiting to write a J&R scene until the poll is over.

So HERE YA GO

Some small progression in Alkain and Mennel's relationship.

These are three completely separate small unedited scenes form different parts in the timeline, though they are in chronological order

------------------------------------------------

Alkain shoved Mennel back, sending him sprawling against the sand with a grunt of pain. “Come on softie! Are you even trying? Don't just wait to die! Aena's eye, get up! You're softer than a sheep that's been beaten to death!”

Mennel gritted his teeth, bracing a hand against the bruise on his ribs where Alkain had slammed the pommel of a sword into him. They'd been at this for hours, and Mennel was getting no better. He knew by the fact that Alkain hadn't stopped yelling at him for even a second.

With every shouted word and hit down, Mennel's temper grew shorter. And at that last insult, he was done. He leaped to his feet. “What is with you?!” He launched himself forward. “I've had enough of this! You pushing me around, thinking I know nothing and you know everything!” He hammered the training weapon down on his mentor with relentless blows, and for once, Alkain remained silent, though Mennal didn't notice. “I'm meant to be some naturally amazing swordsman but I'm not and you keep rubbing it in! I don't know what I'm doing and you're not helping me! I'm getting no better!” 

But then he froze just as Alkain grabbed his sword arm, and pointed his own weapon straight at Mennel's neck. The young swordsman braced for an insult, but instead, a real, genuine, proud smile cracked Alkain's face. “Good.”

“Wh-what?” Mennel froze at the singular word.

But instead of responding, Alkain just tossed his weapon to the side and let go of Mennel, walking away, and then the young swordsman realized. That was the first time he'd watched Alkain leave while standing on his own two feet.

------------------------------------------------

“You said I was doing good! But you didn't change! You're still rude, and disrespectful, and you still just beat me into the ground! You didn't even tell me what I did good that time! You're an awful teacher! You hate me and I know it! You just want me to fail so you can return to your own damn comfortable lifestyle and let me die at the hands of that freak! All I want is to do what I'm supposed to do and get this damn prophecy off my shoulders! You don't care about anyone here! You just care about yourself! It's worthless trying to reason with you because none of this even reaches you since you don't care about me or what I have to say! You don't care about me, You don't care about Euania, or Oirwyn either! Because they helped me, they're going to die with me because I'm untrained and you'll just be happy when it happens!” 

But suddenly, Mennel stopped, his training weapon a single inch from Alkain's neck. The old soldier had just caught it before it hit him. He glanced at it, a little bit of surprise in his expression, but no emotion was more prominent than regret. “Alright. Kid, you think you've learned nothing? Then how come you beat me right here? Your sword is to my neck. You've won. And I'm an awful teacher. Sure, I'll admit that. But you still beat me because of my training. Sure, you can insult me right back, call me rude, or selfish, and that's all true. But don't you even dare say I don't care about them. Euania and Oirwyn are my life. They're the only reason I'm alive, and they're the only reason you're alive. And yes Mennel, contrary to what you believe, insults do hurt me.” And with that, he forced Mennel's weapon away from his neck and left.

Mennel hesitated for a second and then looked down at his hands. Had he really improved?

------------------------------------------------

Mennel leaned against the wall as he heard voices from within, not wanting to interrupt. But instead, he overheard Euania speaking with Alkain.

“How's training going?”

“Not exactly well. He doesn't like me, but that was to be expected. He's not a very good swordsman, and he needs a lot of work…” he trailed off.

“I can hear a but in that sentence Kain. What is it?”

“He needs a lot of work, but kid's got grit, I'll give ‘im that. He can deal with me yelling at him every day, not many can do that.”

Euania laughed. “So is he improving?”

“Yes. Slowly. But the thing is, I can only really get his true skill to show when I make him angry. That's been my tactic because both times he's blown up at me he's improved greatly. The first time his speed was too overwhelming, but he had no real defense, and when I targeted his defense with insults, he’s improved there so much that he beat me. Every time I insult him, he takes it to heart, but because of that, he changes. If it takes him hating me to keep that feisty little kid alive, I can take it, even if he does have a right nasty tongue.”

“Ha! Does he now? Sounds a bit like you!”

And this time, Mennel heard the smile in Alkain's voice. “Huh. I suppose it does.”

[arianatheangel-girl]

Agent Elvis Bloopers, Part 4

Author’s note: Sorry if this seems like a shorter installment; I had some writer’s block for the past few weeks. Anyway, I really hope you like this!

Tagging: @loving-elvis @heartbrake-hotel @star-shard @prompted-wordsmith​

****

SCENE: The abandoned motel. Elvis and Cece are attempting to get some kind of connection to the outside world. Elvis is fiddling around with a radio which starts playing one of his songs, before Cece takes it to try and play something else.

C: Look, your music’s just not my thing, okay?

E: That’s literally not possible.

Cece turns the radio to a different station; it’s supposed to play the Doors song “Hello, I Love You” but it instead starts playing Elvis’s “Devil in Disguise”. Elvis starts to snicker since he knows this isn’t part of the script.

C: Huh? Wait, that’s not right. Did I maybe hit the wrong station?

She attempts to turn the radio to a different station three different times, but each station is playing one of Elvis’s songs; “Hound Dog”, “Heartbreak Hotel”, and “Blue Suede Shoes” respectively. By now, Elvis is in a full-on laughing fit along with several of the crew members as Cece looks hopelessly confused and unamused at the same time.

Director: CUT! Okay, who messed with the radio?

Scatter begins laughing maniacally from off-camera.

Director: Ugh, Scatter! Seriously? Quit messing around; we haven’t got all night here!

****

SCENE: The spy plane. Elvis and Bobby Ray have been “knocked out” by the enemy agents; Cece is attempting to wake them up.

C: Wakey wakey! Hey, guys? Hey, WAKE THE FUCK UP!

Bobby Ray “wakes up” right on cue, but Elvis remains fast asleep.

C: Uh, hey, buddy? I said WAKE UP!

She attempts to kick him to wake him up, as her arms are bound, but Elvis simply lets out a loud snore and curls up on the ground in the fetal position, mumbling about “gigantic donuts”, and obviously fast asleep.

BR: Um, I don’t think you’re gonna have too much luck there, ma’am. That guy can sleep through anything. Seriously, one time he slept through a fire drill at the hotel; saw it with my own eyes. 

I think he must’ve had a big lunch, because he always gets super drowsy after eating too much. I knew I shouldn’t have left him at that fried chicken buffet.

C (rolling her eyes): Ugh. Well, that’s just great. So he’s dead to the world until he comes out of this food coma?

BR: ...Yeah, pretty much.

Director: Oh, for the love of...CUT! Somebody go pour some ice water on Elvis or something!

****

SCENE: The casino. Birdie has just found out Scatter ran up an over 300,000 dollar tab, and is confronting him and his lady friend.

B: Scatter, you damn fool! How drunk are you? Uh-uh, don’t you dare pass out on me! For all of your NASA training, you sure as hell ain’t a...wait, what the hell was my line again?!

Scatter starts to laugh along with her.

Director: Ugh, CUT! It’s “you sure as hell ain’t a rocket scientist”, Birdie! People, is it too much to ask that you read the script?!

Birdie just gives him a “seriously? You did not just say that” look.

Director (looking nervous): Uh, sorry, ma’am. I didn’t mean you. No disrespect meant.

****

SCENE: The desert. Elvis is about to shoot the rattlesnake with the stun gun.

E: Fuck you, Vegas.

He aims the stun gun and shoots, but nothing happens. Confused, he tries again, looking nervous when he realizes the gun is jammed and trying to back away because it looks like the snake is about to bite him. 

Just then, the snake is revealed to be a robot as it starts swaying back and forth and “singing” in the voice of Michigan J. Frog from the cartoon “One Froggy Evening”.

Snake: 🎶 Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal! Send me a kiss by wire, baby my heart’s on fire! If you refuse me, honey you lose me, then you’ll be left alone! Oh baby, telephone, and tell me I’m your own! 🎶

Elvis just shakes his head and starts cracking up as the crew members are laughing hysterically behind the camera at the success of their prank.

E: Okay, seriously guys, what the fuck was that?! Don’t scare me like that again!

Director: Ugh. CUT!