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#I AM LYING IM FUCKING LYING THIS POST IS A LIE
i-like-omori · 1 year
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*dangles omori (gamr) on rope*
You sureeee you like it??/j
tbh i dodnt even think i like it that much
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thotpuppy · 1 year
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If you’re so vehemently against ai fanart what’s your take on fanmade graphics and edits that use stolen pictures from the internet? These fans didn’t go out with their camera to capture the images themselves, they searched through Pinterest and google and found photos taken by real photographers and, without asking permission, stole these images to edit and create into something else. Yet this practice is widely accepted amongst fandom, but the second ai is involved it’s akin to murder? Even when the fans have clearly uploaded said ai generations into photoshop to edit them first? Seems like a pick-and-choose double standard to me.
Okay first of all, let's address the fact that - going by the language you've used here - you've already decided how I feel about it, so why bother the pretense of "asking"? Dishonesty breeds Discontent. Don't lie to someone's face and expect them to be kind, yeah?
Secondly, almost every single person I know who works with image manipulation uses assets they DO have the rights to outside of specific actor's likenesses. There are millions of photos, graphics, illustrations, paintings, etc. that are open for free personal AND commercial use allllll over the internet and people use them liberally. And, actually, many, MANY of these people DO go out and take their own photographs, so I don't know where your misconception is coming from.
And, the big kicker - they also don't lie about it. They say when something is an edited photo, if it's not obvious.
Stolen images being used in edits is NOT widely accepted and is in fact generally pretty damn frowned upon in most art circles, and I absolutely don't support use of them.
Every single instance of fanart is a rocky road as far as IP infringement goes, but don't put fanartists on the same level as the industry professionals providing celebrity model photos. Unlike in AI and Art Theft, when those photos are used that's bringing attention to the figure in question, not taking it away from an actual creator.
Lastly, where the FUCK do you get off saying ANYONE is comparing AI use to murder? Persecution complex much? I get it, you wanna be a victim so bad, but you're the one stealing from people at YOUR industry level.
AI in general has a metric fuckton of potential to be something genuinely useful to artists of all walks, but the CURRENT industry is too unethically sourced. We need to get control of the market, get stolen works (including, once again, STOLEN LEAKED MEDICAL RECORDS) out of the training data, even if that means starting over from scratch.
Also, we need to get the bullies who think it's okay to do shit like spam a Machine Learning program with a single artist's work to harass them offline, target voice actors who have asked not to have their voices used into harassment campaigns, or lie to celebrities by selling them commercial rights to ML-generated fanart, which right now, they legally CAN'T DO. Because the copyrightable legitimacy of AI/ML works IS currently in debate in courts in the US. So.
Maybe instead of assuming everyone is out to get you, Anon, try not being a douchebag and stealing from fellow fanartists? And if you're gonna steal anyways, at least be honest and don't lie to people trying to convince them it's actually a digital illustration.
We can see the weird, fake blending. We can see the extra fingers, or utensils clipping through plates, or hands disappearing into heads, or shoes that don't end where shoes end. And while I'm not going out of my way to confront anyone about it, I'll just stay here on my own blog, blocking people who post AI, I am not the only person who is angry and disgusted at the lack of integrity and blatant disrespect.
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anadrenalineslut · 6 months
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it does NOT surprise me that there are SO MANY tabloid movies coming out being labelled as "documentaries" filled with "friend of a friend of a friend" claims or like heavily, heavily, heavily biased with a clear narrative the filmmaker wanted to push from the beginning that tells only one possible explanation of the truth.
usually if a documentary is trying really, really, really, really hard to make you think a certain way, it's a propaganda piece. you shouldn't have to force feed your audience the "right" opinion to take away from the film evidence. you should present the full story as accurately as possible with real historical evidence to back up the storyline and the audience will walk away with the right idea.
documentaries should not have an overly persuasive tone to them because you should be able to follow the facts to get to the right answer yourself. if you find yourself walking away from a documentary feeling nothing but "wow this proves exactly what i suspected to be true why arent more people angry about niche radicalizing viewpoint that most people find to be inaccurate" you should recognize that as the first step to being indoctrinated into extremist behaviors and thoughts.
#if someone starts telling me about how much they love watching documentaries and its all super emotional hit pieces on bad celebrities#im like BIG yikes and i stay clear from them emotionally like no fucking thank you#i am a snob about documentaries sorry and i have no idea if im right in my thinking i just think this is how it should be imo#yall should walk away from a documentary understanding how someone can come to the wrong conclusion about something#because the documentary should always present the opposing view point in as sympathetic light as possible#steel man the argument then use facts to demolize it#if a documentary about a controversial or political issue#documentaries that lie manipulate rely on emotional support rather thana factual support are bad imo#because it often radicalizes people to the wrong side once they find the steal man argument against ur position#there is a reason people believe certain things#for example my terfs are lying about the original definition of woman argument post#in it i accept the possibility that woman could be defined this way only if u insist on denying factual history#i explicitly state woman was a white female child because it forces well meaning terfs to investigate the truth of my claim#and it forces them to confront the fact that their argument against trans women can be applied to people they think are in fact real women#you have to be willing to engage with repulsive ideas to show why they're factually incorrect.#im not saying the tone has to be completely passive but you have to be FACTUAL with your documentaries.#i am genuinely of the opinion that the facts will convince anyone because all people just want to be right at the end of the day.
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fallingformatt · 2 months
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SEXUAL TENSION M.S.
bsf!Matt x fem!reader
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summary: the sexual tension between you and your best friend Matt causes you two to ‘talk it out’ in the car
based on these requests available: here, here
warnings: filthy ass smut bro
word count: 3.2k
a/n: I’ve been so busy with work, but im glad i finally found the time to write something hope yall enjoy it :) this post is not proofread
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"Wait do you like him?" my friend asks with a smirk on her lips as she playfully pushes my shoulder.
I was hanging out with my friend at the beach tanning, eating some grapes, swimming and just taking in the sun.
"I don't know, it's like this weird sexual tension between us like I just feel that hot and bothered vibe coming from him," I say to my friend as I twirl a strand of my hair between my fingers.
"As in general or like just around you?" She asks me while raising an eyebrow. "Girl I don't know, we don't talk about how often we get laid," I say with a serious tone. "You should then," she answers as one corner of her lips rises up followed by a wink. "Can we not? I'm not asking Matt if he wants to fuck me or just fuck in general, let's change the subject," I say now slightly annoyed about how long this topic has dragged on.
I have to admit though, in the past couple of weeks there have been moments of strong sexual tension between me and my best friend Matt. I don't know what it is but every time we hang out in a group setting, I feel him throwing glances at me while fidgeting with his rings practically undressing me with his eyes, his eyes seem to scan me up and down, eventually meeting mine every time, his stare would get this hint of hunger like he's been starving for something, so I went for advice to my friend but she doesn't have a serious bone in her body so it obviously didn't go far.
Not even a second later I heard my phone ring. I turn it facing up to look who's calling. My friend leans in pushing up her sunglasses to see the caller as well. "Oh it's Matt, you should ask him if he's down to fuck," she says with a huge smile plastered across her face. "You're so funny," I say sarcastically as I roll my eyes before answering the phone.
"Hey!" I say as I bring up the phone to my ear.
"Hey, what are you up to?" Matt asks.
"Nothing much, I'm at the beach with a friend," I say as I turn my head to look at her, as soon as I do so, I see her standing on her knees humping the air before she points to my phone laughing. I instantly facepalm regretting that I even mentioned something to her.
"Hello, are you there?" I hear on the phone.
I snap back as I remember that I'm currently on the phone with Matt.
"Yeah sorry, what did you say," I say.
"I asked if the weather is nice, am I really that boring?" Matt says.
"No I was just looking at my friend, she was kicking down someone's sand castle," I lie as I search around with my free hand for something to throw at my friend. "Yeah the weather is nice, the water is really warm too, what are you doing?" I continue.
"I'm driving home, do you want to do something later?" Matt asks and I see my friend walking over to me kneeling next to me pressing her ear against my phone trying to hear what Matt is saying.
"Yeah I'm down, do you have something in mind?" I answer as I try to push my friend away with my elbow staring at her and shaking my head.
"Chris and Nick really want to see you, so I was thinking we could go to topgolf, and get something to eat after that," he offers.
I see my friend nodding her head up and down signaling me to say yes. How did she even hear that is beyond me.
"Yeah I'm down, should be fun," I say.
"Alright I'll pick you up at 7, see you then," he says before ending the call
I look down next to me and see one grape lying in the sand, without giving it a second thought, I pick it up and throw it at my friend. "You're such a child," I say as I roll my eyes smiling. "You still love me," she says sitting down smiling, finally relaxing after being on my case this whole time.
The sun had started to set and we decided to head back to my friend's house. The beach is like a 10 minute walk from her place. "What time is he picking you up?" My friend asks me.
"He's picking me up at 7, but it's not like you didn't know that already, you're so nosy," I say as I look down at my phone to see the time. "Shit it's 6:27 pm already, there's no way I'm gonna get back to my house and get ready in time.
"You can just get ready at my place," she offers. I nod and pull out my phone from my pocket and text Matt the new address.
We go into her house and I drop my bag at the door running for the bathroom to shower. I turn on the water and hop in.
"Are you really that excited to see him?" my friend asks as she opens the door to the bathroom. "What do you mean?" I ask her. "I mean you rushed to take a shower so fast, surely you're excited to meet up with him," she says as I hear her turning on the sink to wash her hands. "I'm literally just showering, I don't want to be sweaty, covered in sand, and gross, no matter who I'm meeting up with," I defend myself. "Whatever you say," my friend says as she leaves the bathroom.
I hopped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body. I went past the kitchen to my friend's room. I open the door and she's sitting in front of her vanity doing her skincare playing some music in the background.
My eyes lay upon an outfit lying down on her bed, it's a short jean skirt and a black lace tank top, I raise my eyebrow in confusion "What's this?" I ask. "It's an outfit for you to wear," she answers, I tilt my head. "Well unless you're gonna go to topgolf in sweats and a bathing suit, you should wear what's on the bed," she exclaims. "But this is what I would wear if we went clubbing not something I would wear hanging out with friends," I answer. "Trust me on this one," my friend replies. "You seriously need to move on," I say as I grab the outfit and put it on.
I check my phone to see the time, 7:05 pm it reads and as I was about to put down my phone I receive a text from Matt.
"I'm here" that's all the text says.
"I have to go," I say to my friend as I stand up from her vanity and head for the door. "Wait, just one more thing," she says as she runs over to me with a perfume bottle and sprays a few sprays on me. "What's that?" I ask. "It's a pheromone perfume, it's supposed to make guys crazy," she says, smiling proudly holding the bottle. I just sigh as I go for the door. "This way we'll find out if he wants to fuck in general or if he wants to fuck you!" my friend says happily, waving at me as I exit.
I get in the front seat as I see that Chris is sitting at the back. "Hey," Nick exclaims. "Hey," I say to everyone as I put on my seatbelt. "You look good," Matt says as he turns his head looking me up and down and Nick nods his head in agreement. "Thanks, guys," I say and we start driving. We're now driving for about 15 minutes, there's music blasting through the whole car as Nick and Chris are arguing, trying to scream over the loud music about which is the best spongebob episode making me giggle from time to time.
We're stopped at a red light and as I'm scrolling through my phone I feel someone's eyes on me, I pick up my head and see Matt looking at me, there it is again, that hungry stare, he's looking me up and down before his eyes again meet mine. I see him bite his lower lip before a little smirk creeps up on his lips. "You look so fucking good," he says, making me smile, his voice was deeper than usual. He turns his head to focus on the road again as the light turns green.
This is the vibe I was talking about with my friend earlier, we've never had this kind of tension between us before.
I turned my head back to see if Chris and Nick noticed his comment, and no they were still arguing, but the topic of the argument had changed to waffles and pancakes.
"We're here," Matt says as the car stops and he pulls out the keys from the engine and we all exit the car. As we go in, Nick goes to registration and pays for all of us. We all walk to our playing area and we all get something to snack on and some drinks.
"I'm up first," Matt says as he walks over to the playing area, he sets up the ball and swings the golf club. Next up is Nick, he does the same, now it's my turn, I walk up to the playing area, set up the ball, and take a swing with my golf club, I miss completely and I turn my head to look at everyone laughing, well almost everyone, Matt is the only one who's not laughing, which made me less embarrassed, I guess that's what best friends are for. "You need any help?" He asks, I nod my head and he stands up walking over to me.
I set myself up to take a shot and Matt walks over standing behind me, he puts his hands over mine "You have to hold the club tightly, okay?" Matt says as he tightens his grip around my hands. "Keep your back straight," he says and I straighten my back, which causes my butt to brush against his crotch. He inhales sharply before he continues, "Now swing," he says as he guides my hands with his swinging them to the side before hitting the golf ball and watching it fly away. I turn around to face Matt, "thank you," I say as I give him a hug. Before I get to pull away I feel his arm around the back of my neck as he leans into my ear, "you did so good," he says as he lets me go a slight grin forming on his lips, we walk back to the lounge area and Chris stands up as it is his turn now.
I was now sitting watching them play as I understood pretty quickly that there wasn't gonna be a golfer made out of me. Throughout the night I kept noticing Matt's glances, he's now sitting across from me, and he's staring me up and down as he's fidgeting with his rings. His gaze sends shivers down my spine, making me actually shiver and Nick notices.
"Are you cold? I left a sweater in the car, Matt can get it," he offers, " yeah that would be nice," I say as I look back at Matt and he seems to snap back into reality not really understanding what's going on.
"Come on Matt, I'm gonna go with you to get the sweater," I say to help him understand what's going on, he nods and stands up and we start walking to the car. I was actually glad that I managed to get him alone, I needed to understand what was going on with him, but I didn't want to ask with everyone around.
As we get to the car he unlocks it and I get into the front passenger seat and lean back to get the sweater Nick was talking about, as I grab the sweater I hear the door open, I turn my head to look and I see Matt leaning down, his arm resting against the open door. "You ready?" He asks. "No get in," I say as I lean back into my seat, placing the sweater in my lap. Matt gets in the car and closes the door. "What's up?" He asks. "I should be asking you that," I answer and Matt tilts his head confused by my statement.
"What's going on with you?" I ask. "What do you mean?" He answers me with a question not understanding what I'm talking about. I take a deep breath slightly nervous about what I'm going to say next, but I needed some clarity so I knew I had to ask. "Past couple of weeks you have been zoning out, staring at me," I state, I watch his face, waiting for his reaction. His expression grows dark, and once again his glare turns dark.
"You're driving me fucking insane, " he says his voice getting deeper again, "you don't know what you're doing to me, your sent, your presence," he says as he moves his stare from my eyes to my lips before licking his. "Tell me," I say as I put my arm on his bicep. "How about I show you instead," he says as a smirk appears on his lips. He leans over and grabs the outer side of my thigh, signaling me to move. I cautiously move over the center console his arms grabbing and holding my ass for support as he guides me to sit in his lap.
Without any warning he pushes his lips onto mine, kissing me roughly. One of my hands travel to his hair and the other one rests on his chest, his hands travel to my hips, pushing and guiding them back and forth, I let out a quiet moan as I break the kiss, "Matt this is wrong," I say as I try to calm down my breathing. "I don't care, I want you," he says as he smashes his lips back onto mine and I give into the kiss, he moves from my lips to my cheek and down to my jawline, his one hand still guiding my hips back and forth as the other hand moves over my ass grabbing it and slapping it.
I'm not fighting him and give into his touch fully, I throw my head back as I feel my panties getting wet and a moan slips past my lips, Matt takes advantage and attacks my neck, leaving wet kisses, slipping in a few bites as he's sucking on my sensitive skin leaving marks.
"Move up," he says, his voice is demanding. I move my ass up, both of my hands move to his shoulders as I hold them for support. He quickly unbuckles his belt and bucks up his hips sliding his jeans down along with his boxers. Matt's hand travels to my panties, he rubs against my clothed clit before sliding them to the side with one quick motion. He places his hands on my waist pushing me down and signaling me to sit down again.
He pushes his lips on my neck leaving sweet kisses around the dark marks he had created, he leans back and his eyes lock onto the hickeys, "pretty," he says as he grabs my jaw, his thumb brushing over the bruised, sensitive skin.
Matt grabs my ass as he moves me slightly up, positioning his dick against my entrance before pushing me down, I let my head fall on the nape of his neck as my elbows rest on his shoulders, my hands roaming his hair, I let out a moan as I start to move my hips.
"You feel so good princess," Matt groans, his hand tightly around my waist as the other one holds a tight grasp on my ass, his nails digging into my skin as I become a hot mess on top of him. "Matt," I moan out, my movements are sloppy and sensual.
"We can't be gone for too long," Matt whispers in my ear and suddenly fastens his thrusts underneath me. A sudden feeling of overbearing pleasure comes over me as I throw my head back no longer able to control my breath, moans and whimpers leave my mouth before I bite my lower lip trying to be quiet. "Baby don't be quiet, I'll make you scream my name," Matt growls deeply as his hand travels to my lower back holding me for support.
"Will you?" I manage to slip out between my moans as I start to grind faster on his cock. "You're such a brat," he says as his hand wraps around my hair pulling my head backward. His lips attack my collarbone, he's sucking and pulling on my skin slipping in a few bites, I hiss at the pain, "not so brave anymore huh," he says as he detaches from my collarbone before leaving a trail of kisses up my neck before meeting my lips.
"I'm," I whimper, my hands roaming around for something to hold onto as I feel my climax approach me. "You're?" Matt asks proudly as he's the one making me unable to finish my sentence. "Close," I manage to moan out between his hard thrusts and my grinding as we move in sync. "What was that huh?" He chuckles. I grab the collar of his shirt to pull myself together as I gather my strength to form a sentence.
"I'm so close Matt don't stop," I blur out, I feel my walls closing around his twitching cock. "You take my dick so well baby," Matt moans out sending me over the edge. "Matt," I scream out as my orgasm takes over me. Matt lets out a low growl-like moan, as I feel his seed pumping into me. I push my lips against his in order not to scream as I ride out my high.
"Oh my god Matt," I say as I move off of his cock and back to the seat next to him. "You did so good princess," he says as he leans in and kisses my forehead before he pulls up his pants. "We should get back," Matt says and I nod in agreement. I take Nick's sweater and pull it over my head putting it on.
As we step out of the car, I close the door and fix my short denim skirt and I see Matt fixing his belt. "I'm gonna leave the window slightly open," he says slightly chuckling pointing to the windows that had fully fogged up and I let out a small laugh as well.
"What took you two so long," Nick says as he looks at us and we try not to look suspicious. "We were talking," I say confidently, I see Nick shifting his eyes from Matt to me, and his eyes fall down to my neck as a smirk appears on his lips, "you got something here," Nick says as he brushes over his own neck with two fingers. My eyes immediately shoot to Matt as I slap his shoulder from the back.
I guess there definitely was some sexual tension between us that needed to be resolved.
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sturnalsm · 3 months
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𝗧𝗢𝗨𝗖𝗛 𝗠𝗘 𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗡𝗘𝗘𝗗 𝗧𝗢
(M.S)
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summary: you and Matt dont like eachother, you hang all the time, only because of his brothers tho. Chris and Nick went out to pick Chris's girlfriend and left you and Matt alone. you are in the living room on your phones and Matt completely ignores you
!! WARNINGS !! : make out, smut, choking, biting, pet names, swearing
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it was like 11pm or something, you didnt even knew the time, Chris and Nick went to pick uo Chris's girlfriend for god knows what reason why, its not like you hated her but you didnt liked her either, she was annoying you, nothing more, nothing less. but the worst part is that they left you and Matt alone. right now you were doing nothing but sitting on the couch in the living room on your phones.
Matt was literally ignoring you, 10 minutes ago you asked him if he can give you his charger, silence. he just kept scrolling on tik tok do you got up and got it. not a big deal tho. you were scrolling on tik tok as well when an edit of him pops up, but you didnt scrolled and you kept watching it and watching it when.. "what is that video that you're staying on for the past 5 minutes can you fucking scroll or something, its pissing me off" Matt finally spoke complaining about the video, he didnt knew it was an edit of him..
"what are you watching anyway? let me see" and thats when you didnt knew what to say so you immediately scrolled down. "oh uh i' nothing.." he looks at your and grabs your phone scrolling to the upper video. "is that me?!" he says in shock "MATT GIVE ME MY PHONE C'M ONNNN" he laughs as he holds your phone oht of reach "why are you watching edits of me huh" "it just poped up, please give me my phone Matthew" he kept your phone still out of reach speaking again "you like me or sum'?" he asked with a smirk "ME?! LIKE YOU?" you say like its not obvious.. "are you sure about that, sweetheart?" "100%" you say as you start blushing. He takes a seat next to you, your thighs touching each other. He leans closer to you, his breath warm on your ear "You're a bad liar, you know that?" "im not lying now give me my phone" He doesn’t move, his body remaining close to yours, the proximity between you increasing "You’ll just go back to watching edits of me, right?" you roll your eyes at his words. "dont act like you dont watch my Instagram posts all day, tough guy" He rolls his eyes at your comment, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks "You’re one to talk, you never stop thinking about me." awhhh is someone blushing" you say jokingly making him a little mad. He rolls his eyes again, his cheeks still a bit red "Stop talking, I swear to god" you look him in the eyes "or what?" he moves closer to you, his body practically pressing against yours "Or I'll make you stop talking" you smirk at his comment he grins mischievously, placing his hands on your waist, pulling you even closer to him "I have my ways." you smirk at him "show me then"
he suddenly lifts you up, placing you in his lap, completely straddling him. His hands move to the small of your back as he gazes at you "Now you're trapped." you instantly blush "too bad" he smirks"You say that as if you don’t secretly like it." he laughs, one of his hands tracing circles on the skin of your waist, just underneath the edge of your shirt "Don’t lie to me. We both know you love being this close to me." "who said that i love it?" you keep teasing him he rolls his eyes again, growing more and more impatient. His hand on your hip is gripping tighter, his fingers pressing into your skin "You’re a terrible liar. Your body language gives you away. You're enjoying this just as much as I am." "mm...no im not" you love teasing him, you know he is going insane by it and you're here for it. he moves his face closer to yours, his breath warm on your ear again "So if I started kissing your neck right now, you wouldn’t like it at all?" "oh fuck.." you said to your self. he chuckles, his lips grazing against your neck. he places a soft kiss just below your ear, his tongue tracing a slow, torturous trail down to your collarbone “You were saying something?” "shut up.." he lets out a low chuckle, his lips still on your neck, leaving a trail of kisses across your skin "Why should I? I like hearing the cute little noises you make." you bite your lip at the feeling of his lips on your neck which drove you crazy and you wanted more.."Matt.." she moans
he grins against your neck, his lips moving lower towards your collarbone, leaving marks as he goes "Hearing you moan my name is such a turn on, you know that?" "oh look who's turned on" he pulls back for a moment, his eyes locking with yours, a slight smirk on his lips* "Yes, I am. Your little moans are driving me crazy." you smirk "stop teasing me then" you take a deep breath "please.." he chuckles, his hands gripping your thighs a little tighter "Please what? Use your words, darling." "please matt i want you so bad.." he laughs softly, a sense of satisfaction in his voice "Beg for me? You really are desperate for me, aren’t you? Tell me you need me, darling. Say it and I’ll give you whatever you want." "i need you so bad.." he moans softly, pulling you even closer to him, your bodies pressed together, so close there’s only centimeters of space between you, he looks at you for a few seconds befire grabbing you by the waist and slamming his lips on yours in a passionate kiss. Matt immediately deepens the kiss, his hands gripping your thighs tightly, his fingers digging into the skin. he grabs your neck as he starts kissing you once again his tounge sliding into your mouth exploring every inch of it.
she slowly starts moving her hips on his lap. he moans against your lips, his hands moving from your thighs to your hips, holding you even closer to him. He can feel you moving against his lap, the sensation driving him wild* "Mm, you’re teasing me again, aren’t you? You know what that does to me?" "hm, i dont know, what does it do to you baby" he moans as you call him baby, he pulls back slightly, his lips hovering against yours "Seeing you move against me like this? It makes me want to do so many things to you." you smirk at him, you know exactlywhat youre doing and you love the way he loses control "what things? he looks at you "Mmm, I could show you..." he moves his lips to your ear, his teeth gently tugging on your lobe "You sure you want me to show you? Once I start, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself." "dont stop." you say as you look him in the eyes. "you think you can take me huh?" he slowly slides his hands under your skirt sliding his hands slowly to the inside of your thighs "please dont tease me Matt.." you roll your head back moaning quietly. he looks at you with a smirk sliding one of his hands under your panties doing circles on your clit. "fuck.." you moan. he looks at your as he slowly pushes his middle finger inside of you causing you to moan even louder. he starts moving his fingers faster. before you could think he puts a second finger stretching you out. "matt ohmygod.." he smirks "if you cznt take my fingers how are you going to take my cock whore?" his fingers going deeper you hitting that one spot which made you go wild. "matt i nee- *moans* i need your cock please" you get the sentence out of your mouth in one go. "so needy huh?" he looks up at you still with his fingers in you going faster and faster. he stops and gets them out of you "open your mouth" you obey as he puts his fingers in your mouth "suck, doll" you start sucking his fingers. "youre going to listen to me and youre going to listen to me good." he gets his fingers out of your mouth grabbing your waist and making you stand infront of him as he gets up as well. "on all fours doll"
you go down infront of him on your knees and hands. he starts unbuttoning his jeans taking them off as well as his boxers till his knees. "suck." you look up at him and get his cock in your hands stroking him a few times before taking him into your mouth "oh fuck.." he sahs as his breat hitches. "kee..keep going" you starts sucking him faster making him go wild. "shit..im going to cum.." as you hear those words you go faster again knowing how good you make him feel. soon he cums in your mouth making you shallow every drop. "good girl, you can get up now." you get up, he grabs your hand and pushes you against the wall facing him. he starts taking off you tshirt, your pants then your panties leaving you completely naked. he looks at you "turn around baby" you obey again. "now tell me..do you want my cock inside you huh?" he says, his breath on your ear, his hands on your waist.. "matt please..fuck me already you're teasing me too much please i need it bad.." he smirks at your response spanking your ass before slamming aggressively into you. "MATTHEW" you scream his name making him go crazy. he doesn't say anything he just goes deeper and faster inside of you, your eyes bluring with every thrust. he grabbed you waist "bend over" you put your hands on the wall and bend over for him. "fuck yes.." he starts going even faster than before making you scream and moan his name. he puts his hands on your neck choking you.
you were going insane, his cock felt so good inside of you. you were going literally insane from every thrust. he knew what he was doing and he knew you loved it. "you are..so thigh.." he puts his both hands on your back making you bend over ven harder, causing you to moan. "im..g- goin to c..cum Matt..fuck" he puts his hands on your hips now "go ahead baby" your legs start shaking you barley can stand on them. after a few seconds you make a mess on his cock. your cum going down by your thighs and on the floor.. "you're such a good girl ma'." he says grabbing your waist and turning you around. he kisses your lips picking you up, you wrapping your legs around his waist. he puts you on the sofa gently going down to your neck leaving red marks, he sucks and botes onto your neck causing you to moan. "you're a moaning mess" he looks up at you. "lets clean you up sweetheart "....
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HELLOQOOAOAKAJSJQOWK SORRY FOR THE SHORT STORY I DIDNT HAD MUCH IDEAS BUT STILLLWIDI HOPE YOU LIKE IT
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hideawaysis · 6 months
Text
hello. absolutely hate involving myself in fandom drama, but ifeel this is an important post to make as i have seen a lot of people taking a certain post at face value and believing it.
im referring to this one, made by @/realultimatehater
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now, before i say these things, i feel the need to preface this by saying that i do not personally wish to align myself in this fandom debate. i am a tax-paying adult and do not have any energy or time to put into arguing about a tv show on the internet. nonetheless, i have seen people blindly spreading this post around and i feel this needs to be addressed.
this person is lying.
it feels like it should be obvious with the levels of "down with cis bus" energy pulsating off of this, but it's a huge fucking lie.
this person is a known harasser and has targeted children in the past. they will do anything, and i mean ANYTHING to rack up attention and internet points. they have made bold claims like this with little to no evidence in the past all so they can garner more hatred for certain fandoms on the internet. testimonies here and here, and some pretty damning screenshots here.
i advise you all to stop reblogging the post ive shown. it's disinformation, a story fabricated to direct more vitriol towards a fandom with little to no proof that it can somehow make people like this or attract people like this. this person is either a troll or just plain deranged. please stop believing what they say.
tags added for reach.
edit: i received an anonymous ask giving me extra information on this topic, apparently this person is in fact an internet troll who has gone under countless aliases and will often fake identities in order to ruin the reputations of others. more information here and here.
edit 2: another anon ask gave me a preserved version of a post from realultimatehater's first account, showing how they'd crop screenshots of dms in order to make it look like they were being harassed for simply having a negative opinion on hazbin hotel. here's the post, though do know the reblog is from a supporter of them, make of that what you will. here's another version of the post ifound showing how they'd bait people into saying these kinds of things in order to make them look bad. and here's another one! wow!
i also found a few asks showing how this person would literally approach hazbin fans and just blatantly insult them, rather than blocking them. because yeah, when you detest a fandom, you clearly must stir up conflict! that'll keep them away from you! said asks can be viewed here and here
edit 3: the anon i received telling me realultimatehater was an internet troll who'd been trolling people for years apparently was not being truthful, this does not discredit the other evidence ive listed but id really appreciate if people would stop spreading that ask around. ive removed the link to the ask, sincere apologies to anyone affected by that
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caesium-55 · 6 months
Text
—everything is orange. [ ii ]
pairing: lando norris x kpop idol! reader
summary: a racecar driver who needed a fake girlfriend to dispel rumors and a kpop idol who needed publicity for her song. somewhere in between orange cars and orange sunsets, stands something they're afraid of naming.
warning/s: graphic description of blood and gore, body insecurity, lando might be a lil ooc
masterlist.
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God bless Jinnie Jo and her overly prepared self because you thought you’d die when you got attacked by the damn shellfish allergy in the car on the way to the hotel. It's fortunate that Jinnie happens to carry around your allergy meds. You dry-swallow the tablets without hesitation, uttering your thanks to Jinnie.
“Song Dan-ssi gave me a list of your allergy meds before we left,” Jinnie tells you. Warmth floods your chest. Manager-nim may be in another country but he never fails to take care of you. You're definitely going to buy something for Manager-nim when you return to Seoul. A jacket perhaps?
The first thing you do the moment you enter your hotel room is kick your boots off, take a warm shower, and reunite with the love of your life—the bed. The mattress swallows you whole and you let out a content sigh as you allow your body to sink in it. Not even ten minutes later, you grab your bag, which you have haphazardly thrown on the bed, take out your phone, and open the X app. You type Lando’s name in the search box.
username1: i am disgusted by the people who still support lando norris like yall really support a man who got a girl pregnant and refusing to take responsibility? i just know mclaren is lying when they said he's not the father
username2: justice for the girl that lando norris got pregnant! he should be kicked out of mclaren!
username3: that girl lucky bc her baby daddy is THE lando norris. she should tell us how he fucks in great detail
You cringe. Your fingers tap the three buttons at the upper right corner and without hesitation, pressing report. You continue to scroll down the tweets, reading them one by one as the clock ticks.
username4: what lie will mclaren tell again to protect little lando norris?
Your phone pings. A notification bar appears on the upper portion of your phone screen. You have received a message. You stop reading the tweet and open your messages app.
unknown number: hey
unknown number: this is lando
unknown number: your boyfriend?
unknown number: the fake one
You immediately save his number in your contacts. You name him Lando Norris.
you: hey there
you: do i just call you lando or
lando: you can call me baby
You snigger at his flirting attempt. Ten points for trying, Lando Norris.
you: okay baby
lando: 😳
lando: okay
lando: we agreed on hard launching each other in socmed right?
you: yah
lando: i kinda don't have a picture of you?
lando: pr told me to ask you if you can send me one
lando: i’ll send you one too
you: i have an idea
you: put me on your story
lando: yeah im planning to do exactly that
lando: have you been listening to what we talked about earlier in the meeting?
you: then delete it after a few mins
lando: wait why
you: make it look like you did it on accident
Your first mistake in your first PR relationship with another idol is that you immediately hard-launched each other on Instagram after Dispatch released his pictures kissing a guy in a bar. People got skeptical and most of them called out your relationship as a PR stunt. They called you a cover up, which you were, but they weren't supposed to know that.
You're not going to make the same mistake twice.
lando: and this will work?
you: let's not shake the confidence i have
lando: 😂
you: people are already expecting mclaren to set a pr stunt so you can gain the public’s hearts back
you: u have to make yourself look like you never needed a pr stunt in the first place, that you’re not trying to win the public back
you: people will catch up if you suddenly post that you have a girlfriend in the middle of your hot issue
you: netizens are quickwitted theyre not as dumb as most of us think
You hope you're explaining it well. You're trying to make your point as clear as possible but it's hard. You forgot the other English words you’ve learned.
lando: okay i get ur point
lando: i’ll do what u want
lando: someone has to tell pr what u planned though
lando: it's not going to be me
Fuck the PR. You're not going to tell them and let them have a field day tomorrow. That's what they get for expecting you to sign that stupid first contract they made.
You open your camera app and take a quick selfie.
No. Your nose looks too big at that angle.
Again.
Now, your forehead looks like an airport.
Again.
Your teeth are showing. The coffee stains are visible.
Again.
Again.
Again.
you: *sent a photo*
lando: i
lando: help me with the caption? my braincells flew off
you: idk not good at captions
you: just say hello loml or smth
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This is the story you want to tell:
You met Lando a year after you departed from ORACLE in Australia.
You have a mutual friend—named Tori Allen—who introduced you to one another. Tori Allen does not exist. She's just the fictional side character of your love story.
You started out as friends. Lando is freshly out from a breakup and you’re just trying to live a quiet life after your fall from grace.
You talked for months because of your mutual interest in cars. Eventually, you started going on casual dates.
You asked Lando to keep it secret. He said yes in respect to you. HAN Entertainment already released a press statement regarding your mental health status after the 2021 incident so the public would assume that this was the reason why.
The relationship turned serious three months before Lando’s scandal.
Lando never got the girl pregnant. He never touched that girl. He was loyal to you.
Jinnie almost breaks down the door the next morning. You open it before she can do so. She angrily stomps inside your room and you close the door behind her. Her face is red, her expression taut.
“It's seven,” your eyebrows crease together. You make a quick glance at the phone in your hand. 7:22, the clock in your lockscreen projects. “You told me we are supposed to meet at twelve.”
“McLaren PR called me up,” Jinnie informs you. You’re beginning to get an idea where this conversation is going. “You didn't do what we agreed on.”
“And what did we agree on?” you cross your arms over your chest. You flutter your eyelashes innocently at her.
“That you’re going to choose photos to post on each of your accounts and let PR handle the captions. Norris posted something immediately without PR checking it and deleted it!”
“Did he tell you that it was my idea?”
“No, but I know that it was and it turns out I’m right. You just confirmed it.”
“Did it work?” you question.
“I can't with you!” she throws her hands up in the air, frustrated. “We are supposed to follow orders!”
“No,” you say. “You are supposed to follow orders. That's what Yoon PD-nim told you. He told me to do what I believed was best.”
You open X. Lando’s name is at the top of the trending list. You press his name and read through the tweets that appeared.
username5: LANDO NORRIS WHAT IS THIS BEHAVIOR
username6: EVERYONE HERE ARE THE RECEIPTS *screenshot*
username7: is this what you call the freudian slip lol
username8: I AM NOT CRAZY GUYS LANDO ACCIDENTALLY STORIED HIS GF IN HIS PUBLIC ACC
username9: he deleted it so quick too 😭 im sure the man panicked
username10: HE CHEATED ON HIS GF AND GOT A GIRL PREGNANT??!?
username11: for all we know he didn't even bang that girl 🤷 his girlfriend’s pretty hot he’s definitely not cheating on her
username10: men cheat on their pretty wives and girlfriends all the time
username12: not lando norris that man’s in love LOVE can u see his caption
username13: the caption??? lando’s pretty smooth with his words
username14: he’s taking smooth operator lessons from carlos
username15: im crazy but what if this is just a pr stunt 🤔
username16: girl he won't delete the story in a panic if it's a pr stunt
username17: he was definitely going to post it in his priv and made a mistake 😭
username18: very lando of him
username17: he stronger than me bc if my girlfriend was that pretty, her face will be flooding my instagram
username19: ignore lando, his girl tho 😳
username20: he called her loml omgggg
username21: booo luisa’s prettier
username22: fok off and move on
username23: lando can you fight? meet me at the kfc parking lot and let's fight
username24: probably not but he can run you over with his car
username25: i swear ive seen that girl before i just cant pinpoint where
username26: IT'S [NAME] EX MEMBER OF ORACLE WE HAVENT SEEN HER SINCE 2021
username27: so he bagged a kpop girlie??? lando got game dayummm
username28: isn't [name] an illegal street racer? that's why she got kicked out of the group right?
username29: an f1 racer and a street racer couple 😳 omg what in booktok is this
username30: she's not a streetracer she only watched the street race
username28: she told you that herself?
username30: her company did
username31: THEY CANT BE DATING OMG LANDO YOU CAN DO BETTER SHE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE A WAG
username32: and u think ur better than her?
“It's working,” you state. You turn to Jinnie, raising your phone in the air and waving it. A smug smirk spreads to your lips. “It's working.”
Nobody is doubting the relationship like the time with Minhyung. This is a good start. Now, onto the next part.
“So are we really going to keep having lunch dates until your race?” you poke the shrimp on the plate with your fork. You're having pasta again. In the same place, too. It sucks but you swallow the food and smile as if you’re enjoying the meal.
For today's outfit, Jinnie chose a Valentino Garavani black midi dress paired with Jimmy Choo Antia leather sandals. Lando matched your outfit with a black silk button up and off-white pants. You’re both playing the “looking like a couple” card well.
“I believe so,” Lando says. You mentally count the days of the calendar in your head. The FP1 is scheduled to begin in two days. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask….”
“Hm?”
“The team didn't scold you a lot, did they?”
“They didn’t,” you give him a tight smile. Did he worry? For you? That's very sweet of him. “Why would they? My plan went great.”
Lando nods, “It did. You’re good at this.”
You smile at his compliment, shrugging a shoulder. I’m supposed to be good at this. I have no other choice.
“Let's show them our story,” you say. “Show, not tell. People are more inclined to believe actions rather than words. Show them the story we want them to know and we don't answer their questions early so we can keep the attention and the curiosity on us. Once the timing is right, you answer their questions, one by one. This is risky because if we don't act right, we’re done….”
You set the fork down and finally stop terrorizing the poor shrimp. It's completely obliterated now.
“But I believe we can act right,” honesty bleeds through your words. “You're lovable and you already act like a sweet boyfriend without trying.”
Lando purses his lips and averts his gaze. You see pink dusting his cheeks.
“I try.”
“Nice try,” your words come out dry. You give him a thumbs-up. “Also, I’m full.”
“You only ate half your plate,” Lando points out.
“The portion is too big. I’m a light eater.”
HAN Entertainment is partly to blame for that. You got accustomed to their extreme diets and small meal portions that you cannot even eat more than a small bowl of rice.
“Do you not like the food?” he asks, concerned.
You don’t answer the question. Instead, you lace your fingers together and rest your chin on them, leaning slightly forward.
“I have another plan. Wanna hear it?”
You still don't like having attention to yourself. The feeling of having eyes watching your every move, waiting for you to make a mistake still terrifies you. But attention, the right kind especially, is a weapon. You need a weapon to fight this war. A war to build your career again.
“Keep them on their toes,” the instructor of your PR training class once said. “Give them what they want piece by piece, just enough to keep them wanting more, but never give them everything.”
Until now, you still abide by her teachings. God bless Kim Gaon-ssi and her big brain, wherever she is now. She resigned from HAN entertainment a year ago.
It's been a few days since Lando pulled that stunt in his Instagram story and yet, the attention you're receiving from the fans is not simmering down. You didn't expect anyone to be this involved or curious about a driver's love life but here everyone was.
You wake up at seven and then proceed to spend an hour on your phone while lying in bed to push all the sleepiness away from your system. You leave your bed at nine, change out of your sleeping wear, perform a whole morning ritual inside the bathroom, and by eleven, you send Jinnie a message to get brunch and invite her to eat together inside the privacy of your hotel room. She arrives after fifteen minutes with hotel service food. You eat until twelve thirty and after eating, you begin to get ready.
The free practice session is at 5:30 PM. You can afford a bit more time to get ready so you shower again. It took you nearly two hours. In the meantime, Jinnie prepares your clothes.
You mentally thank the heavens when you see trousers neatly folded on your bed. If Jinnie forces you to wear dresses again, you’re going to lose it. You're conscious of how big your thighs look. You don't even have a thigh gap. Big thighs, small ankles, and muscular calves. They're just a few of your numerous bodily insecurities.
Jinnie pairs the Moon Choi black back pocket trousers with a Dior Toile de Jouy Sauvage silk top. For the shoes, she chooses a pair of white Fila chunky sneakers. She helps you apply your makeup and fix your hair. To finish the look, you grab your black cross body bag, smart watch, sunglasses, and a black ball cap.
Jinnie snatches the ball cap from your hands and replaces it with a McLaren ball cap. A tacky orange with the number four. You raise your brow at her. She gives you a pointed look, a look that says: don’t even try to protest. You sigh, resigned, and pull it onto your head.
She scans your appearance, dragging her coal eyes from the top of your head to your toes. She huffs, satisfied.
“You look perfect.”
Perfect is the goal.
Jinnie drives you to the race venue. She drops you off at the parking lot. She's not happy with it. Jinnie wanted to come. You told her no. You can handle this little act alone. You don’t see an ex-idol with a manager, do you?
The moment you exit the car, you slip on your mask. Figuratively and literally. You tip your ball cap upwards to scan your surroundings, searching for the way in. You carry your phone in your right hand and your paddock pass in the left. Lando gave it to you during dinner yesterday.
A racing event is crowded with people. That's a given. Perhaps not as crowded as a concert but still crowded nonetheless. A stage will not separate you from the people nor a barricade. Unfortunately. You have no bodyguard, no manager, no HAN Entertainment staff.
You're not here as ORACLE’s [Name] but as Lando Norris’ girlfriend.
Your feet lead you to a path where there are less people. You message Lando that you’ve arrived. He replies in a matter of seconds.
lando: ill come and get you
lando: wait for me
You remove your cap, fix your hair, before pulling the cap on. You spot a man with a Nikon DSLR standing a good distance. He is wearing a cord around his neck. The word MEDIA is printed in bold white letters. Your lips curl a little underneath your face mask.
It is show time.
During your trainee years, acting classes are mandatory. You know the basics. You're confident that you're good at acting. If you weren't, the company wouldn't have pushed you to act in two dramas as a side character during your rookie years. You received a reward for your performances, too.
To look lost, you have to keep glancing around you as if you’re contemplating which way to go. You have to look unsure of your actions. Hesitant. You have to constantly look at your phone as if you’re reading directions in it or texting someone to tell you where you should be going. You have to scratch your nape a few times to express nervousness. You're in a place you don’t know, it’s natural to be nervous.
Someone is bound to approach you and help you. When they do, you remove the cap but not the mask and then hope they know who you are. When they don't, well…. that's a problem for future you. You haven't thought that far.
“Hi, excuse me, do you need help?”
You perk up. Orange fills your view. A group of four girls have approached you and they all wear twinning McLaren merch. You can see that three of them sport the number four in their shirts, Lando’s race number. You involuntarily swallow.
There was a case once where a rookie actress got beaten up by her idol boyfriend’s fans promptly after the release of their dating news. Fans can be so jealous to the point of violence. It's a toxic fan culture. That's why so many Kpop idols resort to keeping their relationships private and secret. You hope you won’t get beaten up.
But also, given that they’re McLaren and Lando fans, there is a high possibility that they’ll recognize you. Which is exactly what you wanted. So you push that stupid fear aside and keep the show going.
“Hi, uh,” you remove your cap and lower your face mask until it's bunched up below your nose. “I’m kind of…lost? Do you know the way to the, uh…”
You forget what it's called. McLaren garage? You don't remember the exact word Lando used. You're still not confident that you know the difference between a paddock, a garage, and a livery.
“Wait, I know you!”
You purposely widen your eyes.
“You’re Lando’s girlfriend!”
You smile sheepishly, scratching your cheek with your finger.
The girls break out into loud and high-pitched squeals. Their voices are so shrill that you cannot help but wince. You motion for them to quiet down. Inwardly, you want them to keep being loud. Loud enough to warrant the attention of the photographer, your target.
“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, we absolutely have to take a selfie!”
You barely understand her rapid spitfire of words until she takes out her phone. Panic instantly swells within you.
This is not the plan. You only wanted one person to take the necessary picture. Not this.
You hastily slap your hand over the lower half of your face. You stagger backwards and stumble against a sturdy wall. Your hands fly out to your sides as you feel yourself lose your balance. Two hands grip your shoulders and you hear a surprised woah! from behind you. You lift your head.
It's not a wall. It's Lando.
His beautiful, beautiful eyes gaze down at you. The colors look lighter under the sun. His thick brows are furrowed together, his forehead creasing.
Lando spins you around so you're face-to-face with his hard chest. You squint at the multiple logos printed on the long-sleeves he’s wearing. Is this what he wears when he races? He swiftly takes the McLaren ball cap off your hand and puts it on your head. His hand remains tenderly flat on your shoulder blade, the other lays on your cheek as if he's trying to cover your face. You tug your face mask up and rub your throat.
“Hi,” Lando greets the girls sweetly. This causes the eruption of another wave of high-pitched squeals. “I’m sorry but do you mind if we keep the cameras away? Our relationship isn't out and as much as possible, we’d like to keep it that way. Can we respect my girl’s privacy please?”
He sounds exactly like a male lead in a romance Kdrama. You know it's fake, that the both of you are playing roles, but his words and the way he delivers them so effortlessly makes you momentarily doubt if he's really acting. It causes a butterfly to flutter in your stomach and your pulse to steadily accelerate. His hands are large and warm and for a moment, it makes you wonder if this is what security feels like. If this is what it feels like to be loved.
Then, you get reminded that it is all an act.
How can actors not fall in love with their co-actors when acting can feel this real at times?
“Thank you,” you hear Lando say. You miss the previous parts of the conversation because of the thoughts that invaded your mind.
“You look so cute together, oh my god. I’m going to die,” the fangirl adds. Lando’s chest vibrates as he chuckles, the sound deep and warm.
“We need to go, sorry. Enjoy the race today.”
He taps his thumb against your shoulder blade and he starts walking, his hands not detaching themselves from your skin. You keep your head low as Lando guides you away. In your peripheral vision, you see the photographer’s camera pointed towards the two of you. A self-satisfied smirk plays on your lips.
“How did I do?” Lando asks the moment he removes his helmet. He is sporting a bright grin, so bright that you're sure it’s going to make the sun envious, as his fingers comb through his damp curly hair. A few stray strands are stuck on his sweaty forehead. You feel the urge to sweep them aside for him.
You search through your mental thesaurus for the synonyms of the word amazing and have chosen: “Impressive.”
Light beads of sweat trickle down his face and neck. A McLaren staff member comes and hands him a towel to wipe them off. Lando thanks her and she leaves. He thrusts the towel towards you. You blink in confusion.
“Will you do the honors?”
“Can't you do it yourself?”
“But you have to play the part of a sweet girlfriend, am I right or am I right?” You roll your eyes at his cheekiness, rising to a stand. You place the McLaren jacket in your hands on your chair. Lando handed it to you before he climbed into the car. You don't know the reason behind his action. Nevertheless, you held the jacket for him.
You take the towel from his hands, your fingers grazing with his. Lando’s smile threatens to split in half as he puts his hands behind his back, parts his legs a little, and then bends down so you won't have a difficult time wiping his sweat for him. You're not that much shorter than him and your height difference is perfectly reasonable and comfortable but you're still grateful that he's doing this for you.
You don't wipe his sweat. Instead, you pat them out. Patting is gentle on skin. The towel will simply absorb the sweat on his skin. Rubbing the skin can lead to skin irritation and inflammation. Lando’s eyes flutter close at your actions and you swear you see him leaning against your hand.
“You raced good today,” you praise him.
You have zero idea on what happened in the past hour. The cars went around in circles. Then, they time their laps. They’re not even racing each other. You thought they would.
In all honesty, you think the entire thing is a bore. The street races you went to when you were a teen were more fun. A minimum of three drivers gets injured every race and it's highly likely someone ends up dead, which is your messed-up definition of the word fun.
You’re more interested in the special guest who decided to grace the track with its great reptile presence. A dinosaur. Kidding, it's just a lizard. It looks like it was surveying the scene and strategizing a great dinosaur invasion.
Lando's chest swells, “Well, I have to impress my girl.”
He opens his eyes and they meet yours. They're twinkling with mirth.
“Color me impressed then.” Despite your words, your tone is unimpressed.
He smiles impossibly wider, now showing his full set of pearly white teeth. He bites his bottom lip. You stop patting his sweat and lower your hand to the side.
“You don't have any more races tonight?” you question. Lando straightens.
“Later at 9 PM.”
“That's quite late.”
“It is?” Lando’s head tilts to the side a little. “Do you sleep early?”
You hardly sleep at all. You have a hard time maintaining regular human sleeping and waking hours. Like the other half of the world population.
“That's not it,” you shake your head. “I kind of just expected that the next practice session would be tomorrow morning.”
“Singapore usually holds night races. Track temperatures are low and the organizers can broadcast the race during peak viewing hours in European time,” Lando explains. “And they hold two practice races a day because it only lasts an hour.”
“That makes sense.”
“Are you hungry?” Lando questions, smoothly redirecting the conversation to food.
“I could eat.” You're not particularly hungry. You're not full either.
“I know a good place that sells these amazing wraps.”
Wraps sound enticing. You can't remember the last time you've eaten one.
“Lead the way.”
You chew on your beef wrap slowly as your eyes focus on the screen of your phone. The voices of the sports announcers live broadcasting the ongoing race fill Lando’s driver room. After buying the wrap, he brought you to his driver room so you can enjoy the privacy as you ate. You appreciate the thoughtfulness. You don't think you can eat outside. So many people can see you.
username33: LOOK AT THESE PHOTOS I AM GOING FERAL
username34: HOLUP LANDO'S GIRL WAS IN THE PADDOCK??? ON THE DAY I DECIDED NOT TO GO?? EVJSNSVSISKS
username35: girlie was hiding 😭 she deliberately went through the back of the paddock so no one can see her going to the garage
username36: my friends and i met her today! she looks like she's lost and as fellow mclaren fans, we went to help her and she was so sweet omg and so so shy too. we tried to take a pic with her but lando arrived and told us to respect his girl’s space
username36: and i quote “do you mind if we keep the cameras away? our relationship isn't out and we’d like to keep it that way. can we respect my girl’s privacy please” WHEN I TELL YOU I MELTED ON THE SPOT
username37: girl he really said that???
username38: i’m her friend and yes he really said that 😭
username39: little lando norris is not so little anymore
username37: pls tell me you backed off immediately
username38: we did!! we kinda feel bad now that we discovered she's been battling anxiety since 2021 and that she doesn't like having photos of her taken
username40: NO BECAUSE THE WAY LANDO IS SO PROTECTIVE OF HER?? THE WAY HE SPUN HER AROUND AND PULLED HER TO HIS CHEST?? THE PROTECTIVE HAND ON HER BACK?? HIM COVERING HER FACE?? WE ALL KNOW [NAME] HASN'T BEEN IN THE PUBLIC EYE SINCE 2021 BC OF MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES AFTER HER SCANDAL AND LANDO REALLY TRIED TO PROTECT HER
username41: bae i think you forgot that he's also the reason why [name] is gaining attention again bc he accidentally storied her in his insta
username40: that's why i said tried bestie
username42: i cant believe im crying over this LANDO NORRIS U BETTER TREAT OUR GIRL [NAME] RIGHT
username43: im waiting for @hanentertainmentofficial to say smth
username44: girlie’s career flopped and now she's leeching off lando’s money smh 🙄
username45: bestie she never needed his money she’s already rich from being an idol
username44: correction ex kpop idol, her money’s probably already running out
username45: bestie she's still richer than you while you're 14 (your bio says your 14) and still living with your parents
username46: AND THAT'S VERY SLAY OF HER,, YOU CAN'T EVEN GET A RICH MAN TO LOOK AT YOU
username47: that girl who claimed that lando is her baby daddy is suspiciously quiet rn
You turn your phone off and toss it inside your cross body bag. A sigh flies past your lips as you lean against the back of the couch, setting your unfinished wrap down. Your eyes flutter close. They're beginning to sting. Too much reading.
Sleep latches its claws on you and you allow it to take you.
You stand in darkness, allowing the deafening silence to swallow you whole. Suddenly, a thousand eyes appear. Unblinking. Bloodshot. They're bulging out of their sockets. In unison, the eyeballs move and lock on your figure. Judging. Judging. Judging. Your body trembles at the weight of a thousand gazes. You can’t breathe. You can't speak.
Please stop looking at me.
Please.
I’m begging you.
Stop.
The eyes slowly became bigger and bigger. Then, they disappear. You let out a shaky exhale. You turn around and the world becomes a blinding white.
Cameras. Thousands. No, millions of them. The loud clicking noise fills your ears. Your hands stretch in front of you, trying to cover your face and your body from them. You can only squeeze your eyes shut.
Silence.
The scene changes.
You register the feeling of sand getting stuck in between your toes. Your eyes slowly flutter open. The overcast skyline and the rising tides, the telltale ingredients of a brewing storm over the horizon, can be spectated from the shore. You recognize this place. This was a place you swore you're never going to step foot again.
Jeju.
You hear your mother’s gentle voice whisper your name behind you, causing goosebumps rise on your skin and your entire body to stiffen. It's not the name you own now, but the name you were born with, the name she gave you, the name you lost when you moved to Seoul.
She calls your name again. Again. Again. And again. You ignore every single one.
She stops.
You slowly turn around and you see your mother standing there, a few steps away, barefoot like you and wearing a dress. You remember this dress. She wore it when she was pregnant with you. She keeps the photo in her wallet.
No Eun Ha looks as beautiful as she was in your childhood memories. You greatly resemble her. The eyes most especially. That's why looking at mirrors feels more like a punishment to you more than anything else.
The word “Eomma” rots inside your mouth.
Your Eomma smiles at you. It's empty, her smile. When she smiles, they never reach her eyes. That's the way it has always been. For a second, you consider apologizing.
Eomma, I’m sorry that you have to raise a child you didn’t want. I’m sorry for stealing the light in your eyes.
You don't grow the courage to say it out loud.
No Eun Ha remains smiling. You notice that the edges of her lips curl higher and higher until the smile begins to look unsettling and sinister. Then you see the skin on her cheek tear apart as her smile grows and grows. Blood drips down slowly to her neck and stains the top part of her dress. She opens her mouth into an inhumane size and you see a thousand razor-sharp teeth lining up inside it. Everything is a gory red.
You scream in absolute terror.
She says your name again, her voice this time is not as gentle as you remember.
You wake up screaming and in cold sweat. You fall from your bed and onto the floor on all fours and begin vomiting your guts out. Nothing comes up. Only saliva. You break into pathetic sobs on the floor. Terror is a familiar feeling but you will never ever get used to it.
You don't know how many hours have passed. The floor used to feel cool against your skin but now, it's never been warmer. You still don't possess the strength to leave the floor. Your body feels as if it's being anchored down giant stones.
You're exhausted. You’ve done nothing but you feel exhausted.
You want to run.
You want to run away from this pain and exhaustion.
You need a life where you're no longer exhausted.
Desperately.
A sudden shriek interrupts the silence that wraps the air. A woman's. You don't even flinch. You know it’s just Jinnie. She's the only one who has access to another keycard of your hotel room.
When Lando’s panicking face comes into view, you are shocked. So shocked that you involuntarily raise your arms and accidentally hit him below his jaw. He stumbles backwards, not expecting the blow. He let out a pained groan, hand clutching the area you hit. You quickly rise to your feet, a thousand apologies already on the tip of your tongue. This action, however, triggers a wave of vertigo. Your vision blackens temporarily, your knees giving out at your own weight. Reflexively, you grab hold of the nearest thing beside you, the mattress to soften your fall, before your shaking knees meet the floor.
“[Name]!” Lando’s voice is so loud, you flinch.
When your vision returns, his face is the first thing you see.
“Good morning,” your voice is flat and rough.
Lando hisses and his large hands cradle your cheeks. You're suddenly made aware of how large his hands are. They can cover your entire face with how big they are.
“You're pale,” his voice wobbles. “Shit.”
You want to pass out again. His hands feel so, so comfortable and so, so warm that you want to sleep with this feeling.
“Hey, hey, don't close your eyes. [Name]—” Lando hands move swiftly. One second he’s holding your face. The next second he’s lifting you up in his arms. “Jinnie, call an ambulance!”
The word “ambulance” causes you to wake up. Like really wake up.
Oh, shit.
You struggle in Lando’s arms, “Andwae! No ambulance!”
You pry yourself away from Lando, hopping down to the floor, but the man doesn't retract his hands completely. He still holds onto your forearms to support you as you try to stand.
“No. Just no. I’m fine.”
“[Name]!” Jinnie scolds. She's finally functioning again. She froze in shock when she saw you earlier.
“I’m fine!” you shout. “I’m fine! Really!”
When you get caught that you're weak, you retaliate.
You grit your teeth and clench your jaw.
“I’m. Fine.”
They don’t believe you. You can see it in their eyes. However, they're not going to argue with you. You know they won't.
“I’m going to shower,” you announce. Lando’s grip on your forearm tightens just as you pivot your heels to head to the bathroom.
“I think it's best if you stay today.”
“We all agreed that I’m going to be in the paddock from the practice sessions until the race night.”
“I’ll tell the PR team that you won't go today.”
Your brows furrow.
“Just… Rest for today, okay?”
You turn quiet. Hesitantly, you nod.
“Thanks.”
He turns to Jinnie and tells her, “Take care of her for me. I’ll visit after the qualifying.”
And like that, Lando Norris leaves the hotel room.
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Ok, you seem to basically be saying project 2025 is inevitable so don’t vote because Joe Biden is evil. So then, how do we survive when contraception is made basically illegal, lgbt people are outlawed and possibly murdered, etc? Or are we supposed to just lie down and die?
These are two extremely specific scenarios that heavily play into self victimhood and narratives of powerlessness and frankly, I don't have the energy to pretend it's something else when there are a handful of rebels with literal fucking sticks fighting against a genocide being carried out by the world's richest powers.
You are neither a rebel nor are you fighting the world's richest powers with makeshift weapons or your bare hands. You are stressing about which box to check off in November, so my genuine advice is take your head out of your privileged asshole and consider that you have way more options than "vote" or "die" and lying to yourself about those being your only options is only gonna help you sleep for so long.
There are people like you and me literally fucking fighting for their right to live and exist, for their homes, for crumbs of food, dying for water, etc.
And you with your little American ballot in your hand have the audacity to say "should I just lay down and die" cuz I don't think you should check the Genocide Joe box???????????? And then you ask ME what IM going to do about it if cops possibly murder you when Trump is elected?
And you ask like that isn't ALREADY a daily reality for anyone living under Biden in the USA!!!!! We had protests for a whole fucking summer about police brutality cuz cops won't stop killing Black people! And they haven't stopped, you know.
So what was your answer when they asked us for our intersectional solidarity to save their lives? How much effort did you put in? Did you learn about mutual aid or direct action or how to protest? How to organize or draft demands so you can effectively make change year-round?
Cuz I remember how often those posts were going around. I know you saw some of them at least.
Did you make the effort to save someone besides yourself? Or did you think it was all unnecessary because you were fortunate to be wrapped in privilege?
You know, I didn't see one viral post from any white queer ppl saying "WE NEED TO (x) YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!" about defunding police departments or masking 🤧
What did you expect Black people to do when you didn't care enough to listen? When BLM stopped trending? What about Palestinians? Did you expect them to lay over and die? Did you think about what would happen if you abandoned them? Did you care?
But it matters now that you're on the other end, don't it?
ANY singular marginalized, oppressed group on earth can tell you letting them kill you has never been an option.
Stonewall didn't happen in a voting booth. Neither did the civil rights movement. Nor did our treaties. Even suffragettes committed arson and bombing campaigns.
We have never just laid down and let them kill our community or treat us like we are lesser. We have always taken what was ours because the nature of oppression is that you will never be given what you deserve, even if you vote for it.
"do we just lay down and die"
Liberation doesn't have a manual so I can't give you the step by step. But I assure that we will not find it through a bureaucracy and government built to silence, erase, and oppress us. And it sure as hell won't be found in a boomer that sleeps peacefully at night after killing children and denying genocide.
And the only fucking people that use others as stepping stones for their own comfort and well being are oppressors and fascists.
So additionally if you're sitting there upset because my morals don't bend for the privileged and you're thinking about how awful I am cuz I can't be convinced to justify killing people from Sudan and the DRC and Palestine instead of queer Americans then get fucked. Cuz you would be the EXACT type of person I loathe.
We are all in this together or you are with the oppressors. No more in between. We don't have the luxury of having the time to pretend there's any good reason to be a fascist apologist.
At this point, you're either fighting for progress and human rights or against it.
"are we supposed to just lay over and die"
If I die it'll be a warriors death and I think every single person on earth who has asked me "so what are we supposed to do?!" should work on having the same answer.
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midnightsnyx · 10 months
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girl at home | mat barzal | part 5
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pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader summary: you’re eighteen when you find yourself pregnant after Mat leaves for hockey. nearly eight years later, Mat finds out about your daughter and you have to deal with the consequences of not telling him about her.
warnings: swearing, angst, food, fluff, not edited word count: 2.3k authors note: it's my bday tmw and i am going out of town for the weekend so i wanted to get this posted!! also, i have no idea how pr management works so i def got everything wrong so pls don't yell at me lol i feel like this chapter is just like a roller-coaster that went off the tracks and blew up and someones trying to put it back together with tape from the dollar store so im sorry but i hope yall like it anyway and don't hate me pls <3 send your thoughts or come yell at me about this story bc I LOVE hearing from you guys!! It feeds my writing soul. thank u all for the love on this story so far and lmk if you wanna be added to my taglist. also thinking about doing some smau for this fic and wondering if you guys have any ideas or suggestions?
if you asked to be added to the taglist and didn't get tagged it's cause you didn't show up when i searched for you! so shoot me a msg and we can figure it out. also if you want to be added or taken off the taglist please let me know <3
requests are open. masterpost masterlist taglist form ask box
You didn’t think the situation with Mat’s statement could get any worse. You were already being pestered by your mom, your friends and even other parents at the day camps Nora attended. Mostly everyone knew that it was true that Mat was her father at that point so the statement caused questions to rise. Ignoring everybody’s opinions about it was easy but six simple words from Nora were what broke you. 
“I thought Mat was my daddy,” she said softly while eating breakfast one morning. She had been quiet since the day before but it continued when she woke up the next morning. You thought maybe she was just moody and tired but it ended up being much more than that.
It took you a minute to answer, trying to figure out where she might have heard or been told that. It wasn’t that surprising that she might have gotten the impression that he was her dad considering how much time Mat had been spending with the two of you or she overheard a conversation. Kids are very perceptive but you couldn’t see how anyone would directly tell her about the public statement and you had been very careful about what you said around Nora and told everyone else to do the same. 
Apparently someone didn’t get the memo. 
You had two options. You could lie to Nora about what was going on or you could explain it in the best way you could to her. Lying to your daughter was the last thing you wanted to do but figuring out the easiest way to explain it so she would understand was hard. How were you supposed to explain that yes, Mat is her daddy but he was a fucking idiot and told the world that she’s not even though he said he wanted to be in her life. It would have been so simple to take the easy way out but it wouldn’t have been fair to Nora so after she finished her breakfast, you sat her down. 
“You’re feeling a little confused, huh?” you asked, watching her fiddle with a loose string on her sweater. 
She nodded, still not looking up at you and not offering her thoughts. It was a bit alarming because she was usually a chatterbox, even when she was upset about something. She would let you know exactly what was wrong. 
“Who told you Mat was your daddy?” 
She finally looked up at you, and the tears threatening to spill from her eyes made you both angry and upset. You were ready to find whoever told her and scream at them but her answer stunned you.
“I heard you talking to Jaxy,” she whispered. “I wasn’t trying to listen but I was coming out to get some water and you said that you were mad at Mat.” 
She didn’t elaborate on what else she may have heard which was unnerving because you probably said a lot of things about Mat that night when Jax came over to talk to you about it. You hoped she didn’t stay long enough for your breakdown where you had cried for thirty straight minutes. 
She sniffled, wiping a couple tears away. “I don’t understand.”
Your heart broke but you still struggled with how to explain everything to her. Telling her in the beginning was probably a better idea but you were so caught up in your own thoughts and feelings, you ignored the person who should have been your number one priority the entire time. 
“Mat is your daddy, baby,” you said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
I’m sorry I kept you a secret.
“How come everyone is saying he’s not?” 
Mat should have been the one to answer this question because it was his doing, but you hadn’t spoken to him since the night he was at your apartment and the two of you argued. He had texted you the day after but you ignored it because you didn’t know what you would say when given the chance.
“Well, sometimes people make mistakes and Mat said something he shouldn’t have,” you explained, hoping it was enough and it seemed to be enough at first but then she hugged you tightly.
“I love you mama,” she said and before you could reply, she quietly asked, “Do you think Mat loves me?” 
“I’m sure he does,” you told her and it took everything in you not to cry. 
. . .
Liana: dinner at our place @ 6. bring nora and don’t be late!!!
You’re tempted to decline the request and just stay home but you’ve been promising Liana and Nadia that you would actually visit instead of dropping Nora off and leaving like you’ve been doing. Avoiding Mat is becoming increasingly difficult. It’s been two weeks since he released the statement and a week since your conversion with Nora. She’s been asking a lot of questions, ones that you didn’t plan on having to answer so soon. You expected her to be angry with you for not telling her but she took your confirmation that Mat’s her dad with ease. 
So it didn’t come as a surprise when her first question was whether Mat would be at the Barzal household for this dinner. You hadn’t bothered to ask Liana, mainly because you knew it would definitely impact your decision to agree to go. 
“Did you know that Zoe’s mom and dad aren’t together either?” She says during the drive to the Barzal’s. 
You do know this but you humor her. “Really?”
“Yup. Zoe said she spends weekends with her dad and stays with her mommy during the week,” she explains and then moves on to a different topic. You’re a little curious why she would talk about her friends’ living arrangements but when you finally pull into the driveway, your question is answered. 
“Do I have to stay at Mat’s on the weekend?” She asks and if you hadn’t already parked the car, you would have hit the brakes. 
“No,” you say a little too quickly and sharply because she frowns. 
“How come?”
You don’t answer her question right away, getting out of the car and walking around to the other side. She’s already unbuckling her seatbelt by the time you open the door and she’s still frowning. 
“Just no, Nora.”
“But Zoe does!”
You can’t explain custody agreements to a seven-year-old so you say the first excuse you can think of. 
“He doesn’t live here,” you say, taking her hand and begin walking towards the house. She’s dragging her feet, clearly not happy with your response. 
“Do I have to call him dad?” 
“No.”
“Why?”
“Just ‘cause,” you say, stopping at the door and turning to her. Her arms are crossed and she’s giving you the look that says she won’t let up until you give her an answer she wants.
“Do you want to call him dad?” 
She pauses, looking down at the ground and frowning. After a moment she shakes her head. 
“No, but Miss. Jones says you’re not supposed to call your mommy and daddy by their first names ‘cause it’s disrespectful.” 
“It’s not up to Miss. Jones,” you say gently. “This is new, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
After a moment, she mutters a quiet “okay,” and then: “do you think Nadia has ice-cream for dessert?”
“Guess we’ll have to go inside and ask,” you reply and raise your fist to knock on the door but it swings open before you can. Liana is waiting on the other side with a big smile on her face. Nora runs straight to her and giggles when the older girl picks her up and swings her around. 
“C’mon in,” Liana says, ushering you inside. So far there’s no sign of Mat so some of the tension leaves your body. After putting both yours and Nora’s shoes aside, you make your way to the kitchen. Nadia is puttering around, juggling a million things but she still smiles softly when she sees you. 
“Can I help with anything?” 
“You can keep me company,” she says and points to a chair. “Sit down and update me on what you’ve been up to.”
You know that you can’t argue with her so you sit and chat idly with her. She doesn’t bring up anything to do with Mat and you’re not sure what to think about it. You almost slip up and ask if he’s going to be here for dinner but decide not to. You haven’t seen him around since you arrived, so he’s probably out. Maybe with a girl. 
Not that you care, obviously. 
Mike eventually pokes his head in the kitchen to greet you and ask how you’ve been. He offers to set the table but Nadia shoos him out of the kitchen, rolling her eyes fondly. 
“Don’t get married, they’re nothing but trouble,” she jokes but there’s a smile on her face that lingers even after her husband leaves. You always admired their relationship, and were certain that you and Mat would be like it some day but it wasn’t in the cards. 
Soon, Nadia calls everyone to dinner. Nora immediately asks why Mat isn’t here and there’s an awkward silence until Liana breaks it.
“He’s busy,” she tells Nora and that must be enough because she just nods and starts eating dinner. Nothing else is said about Mat but just as you’re all finishing dessert, you hear the door open and close and there’s only one person you figure it will be.  
Mat walks into the dining room, clearly caught off guard by your presence. Nora hops off her chair and darts over to him, wrapping her arms around his legs and starts chatting excitedly. He’s trying to give her all his attention but his eyes keep flickering to you. 
When Nadia and Mike get up to start clearing the table and Liana asks Nora if she wants to go watch a movie, you realize that the three of them planned this. It’s almost like you’re kids again, fighting about something stupid and needing his parents to help fix the problem. 
Mat looks at you a little helplessly when the room clears and it’s just the two of you. There’s no way you can yell at him with his family and Nora in the next room and you realize that was also probably planned. 
“Can we talk?” he asks and you really don’t want to, but you realize that eventually you’re going to have to talk to him so you nod. You follow him out the back door and the two of you sit on the porch steps in silence until you finally break it.
“Why didn’t you come to me about what PR wanted to do? We could have figured out something together.”
He shrugs, looking at the ground. “I didn’t think to ask you about it. I just wanted to fix everything before it got complicated. I wasn’t thinking.” 
“Yeah, no shit,” you mutter. “That’s something you’re great at. You don’t think before you do anything.” 
You jump when he stands up suddenly and turns to face you. He’s angry but so are you.
“No, fuck that. You can’t just expect me to do everything right, when a month ago, all I had to worry about was hockey. I can’t be number one dad overnight! You didn’t even tell me about her for six years!” 
You’re a bit taken off guard by his sudden outburst but you can do anger too.
“That is the exact reason I didn’t tell you about her, Mat. Hockey is always going to come first in your life,” you snap. “And I didn’t ask you to be a number one dad, all I asked was that you be sure you wanted to be in her life before you committed to anything because this is exactly what I was worried about.” 
He falters a little, probably not expecting you to return the anger. 
“I didn’t want to post what they asked me to,” he says, sounding defeated. “But I didn’t know how to say no. When PR tells you to jump, you jump.”
You’ve no idea how public relations in hockey works, it’s possible that they would have posted the statement without asking Mat but you’re so damn angry. You’re angry but you don’t know who you’re even supposed to be mad at now. 
“You should have come to me,” you say again. “That’s how co-parenting works, you know.”
His mouth twitches. “That’s what we were doing?”
You can feel the anger slowly dissipating. Mat’s shoulders aren’t as tense and he plops back down on the steps so you sit next to him, letting your shoulders and knees knock against his.
“Well, you are her dad,” you admit. “And she is very concerned about her future living arrangements.”
He looks at you a little confused but there’s a small smile spreading across his face. 
“Does she know?”
“Yeah,” you tell him. “She’s smarter than you expect sometimes.”
“She gets that from you,” he says, poking your arm.
You roll your eyes fondly. “Well she had to get her brains from someone.”
He huffs but it sounds more like a laugh. You watch him look at the ground, brows furrowed and deep in thought.
“I fucked up, didn’t I?”
Here’s the thing that a lot of people don’t know about Mat: he doesn’t forgive himself easily. It’s something you learned the hard way when you were younger and dating. 
So you know he will beat himself up over this until you forgive him. 
“Yeah, but we both did.” You bump your knee against his until he looks up at you. “We can fix it, but we have to do it together.”
He holds out his pinky finger. ”Co-parenting, right?”  
You hook your finger around his and nod, letting yourself relax for the first time in weeks. It’s going to take time, hard work, and you’re both going to have to learn how to trust and communicate better again but you're sure you’ll get there.
“Together,” you agree.
tag list: @literatureluster @dasiysthings @barzyblogbabe @diary-of-jj @heatherawoowoo @fallinallincurls @topguncultleader @shadowsndaisies @lovinbarzal @whatthepuckisgoingon @alilstressyandlotdepressy @teapartydreams @keiva1000
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sillyyuserr · 7 months
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Terukane analysis <33
one of my favorties because it really shows how much they care and more about THEM less about how teru looks at akane or things like that
like i said in my last last LAST post, i wanted to write an analysis on what happened between terukane just before the severance so here i am. Writing this at 8:15pm on a sunday.
after getting back to the ”human realm”, akane realizes aoi isnt there with him, turns around in confusion, and sees teru with a saddened look on his face
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Teru looks saddened while explaining what happened to aoi and how she couldnt return
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Akane asks if teru knew the whole time, teru confesses to having had known that she wouldnt come back but didnt say anything, leading to akane being very clearly distressed and upset
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Akane grabs teru by the shirt/jacket or wtv hes wearing and punches him and shoves him against a wall
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Akane’s done with attacking teru, and turns around to try to go back and get her, falls to the ground in pain, his untreated wounds getting worse by the minute, gets back up to get her, teru forces him down, akane’s lying on the ground, disappointed and sad
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Yadayadayada idrc what happens after this thats not what we’re focusing on, now that im done with the ridiculously long recap lets break it down further
As seen here, teru is both feeling and looking, extremely guilty. He’s guilty ab not telling akane, but knowing he kind of had to keep it a secret
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Something you need to know ab terukane to really understand it, is their relationship is heavily built around their trust in one another so when teru hid how aoi couldnt come back from akane, he was hurt and confused as if he had never seen it coming, like it wasnt even a what if. He knows teru tries to be “perfect” to everyone else, but had never even CONSIDERED that he might lie to HIM. 
The reason this hit like a fucking global pandemic is because akane trusted teru so much he didn’t even think ab the “what ifs” and even if he did, him lying wouldnt even be on there
and since he was really hurt, he lashed out and punched him. Teru knew he was hurt/betrayed and let him punch him, feeling guilty at himself for keeping this from him. Gosh they really do care about one another
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As seen here, akane tries to get aoi, but in his damaged state, he literally cannot. Teru knows this, and hurts inside seeing him like this, him having to literally shove him to the ground to stop him.
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Akane seems to be at like rock bottom rn. Just lost his childhood bsf and this dude he swears he hates just lied to him ab something this srs. my mans really going through it
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Forgot to add but teru looks especially heartbroken here looking at akane, it literally hurts him to do this to akane, but he knew he wouldnt leave aoi there so he did what was best for him, and brought him back. Also not to mention he literally travelled through the most notorious school mystery’s boundary (also the god of fucking death like wdym) just to save akane like what the fuck
teru’s so obvious istg if AidaIro doesnt make terukane canon thats one thing, but if they dont confirm or at least prove in some way teru has a crush on akane, my entire life is a fucking lie
pls give me ideas or stuff ab terukane that you’ve noticed and i havent im running out of analysis ideas 😭😭🙏
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AITA for lying about my identity?
so, basically: i (19x) am veryyy... careful about online privacy. i keep my fanfiction accounts and my personal accounts completely separate and use a pseudonym for fic. this is mostly because of bad circles i used to run in- people would get threatened with doxxing over a lot of inane bs.
i write in a rather niche fandom. the subject isn't all that niche but fic about it definitely is. i am open about being a fan of the subject on my personal accounts, however, and this is where i might be the asshole. i have a friend (16m, lets call him R) who i made through a PERSONAL account, who i pretty quickly came to find out likes fic about this thing, too. obviously i get SUPER excited because the fandom is tiny as hell and we talk fic.
well, i don't know this guy all that well, and he knows my real fucking legal name (which i am very careful to keep off my fic accounts) and has seen my face, and i'm still VERY scared of doxxing. so... when i reference my own fic/fanworks etc, i refer to my fic account pseudonym as my friend. when i post on my fic account about something i wrote & showed R on my personal account, i allude to "posting for a friend" to keep it up because he also knows my fic account. i tell him im trying to wean myself off social media and mostly lurk and that's why i don't post about fic on my personal (and to be fair i barely post on my personal at all). but now we've been friends for months and i don't feel right continuing to lie to him but the last thing i want is for literally ANYONE to know or be able to connect my real name face AND my ao3 account. esp because we're good friends now but i still don't trust him to not doxx me if we get into some shitfight over inane bullshit (i know he is a twitter and tiktok user)
am i the asshole???
What are these acronyms?
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undeniable | porter gage x female! sole survivor
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a/n: am i finally back on my bullshit, uploading on a random sunday night? this is different from what i usually write, but hey! im definitely writing something. im too tired to revise or edit this bc its 12 AM, so ill look it over in the morning. just thought i'd post something silly.
♡ based off a modern au where gage and the sole survivor are childhood bestfriends in another life.
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For as long as Gage can remember, she’s been a burden. Being nearly five years older than her and her guardian -- or her best friend, as she likes to call him -- he’s always felt inclined to watch over her. He doesn’t know why, he knows he doesn't necessarily need to, but the thought of abandoning her feels wrong. So he tries to find reasons as to why -- was it because they both grew up in terrible conditions together and only had each other? Or was it because he knew the moment he let her dumbass go into the real world alone, she’d somehow get herself killed? 
He shakes his head. Finding a reason was nothing but a waste of time, his mind overworking itself more than it already was. He dumbs it down to simply getting used to the routine of caring for her since they were children. If he fucks up his schedule now, he’d have to go through the trouble of rearranging everything around once again and readjust to his new lifestyle. 
‘Yeah,’ he thinks to himself, unlocking his apartment door, twisting the knob, ‘It’ll be nothing but fucking trouble.’ 
Once he pushes the door open, his boots thumping against the tiled floor of his apartment, he sees her sitting on the couch, distracted by the show playing on the television. His eyes darted over to the coffee table in front of her, papers and open textbooks strewn across the poor thing, obviously untouched and just displayed prettily to mimic the idea that she was being productive. 
With a low grumble, he tosses his bag on the counter nearby and takes off his boots before grabbing the remote lying on the couch. She’s so invested in her little show that she barely even notices him walking in with a scowl and an annoyed sigh. Sole jumps when the television shuts off suddenly, a gasp leaving her lips before turning her head to the side. 
“Hey, I was watching!” she whines, already rising from the couch to pick another fight with him. He doesn’t show any reaction and instead, crosses his arms with an unimpressed expression while he holds the remote hostage. 
She tries her best to grab it from his hand but he rolls his eyes, gently pushing her back down onto the couch. 
“Quit watchin’ and start studyin’. Yer not gonna get shit done like this.” 
She huffs angrily, her eyes narrowing at him, “Gage, a little break wouldn’t hurt every once in a while.” 
“And what have you accomplished since I left for work this afternoon?” 
Sole swallows nervously, her mouth going dry at his questions as she opens and closes it, trying her best to stand her ground. He raises a brow, giving her a chance to respond and redeem herself, but he already knows. She was a fool for thinking she could get away with such a lie, knowing that Gage knew her better than anyone else.
“Thought so,” he stuffed the remote in the back of his pocket, “Now be a good girl and finish yer damn work. I’m not paying yer tuition for you to fuck around.” 
Sole groans but listens obediently, pulling the coffee table closer to her. She grabs her laptop and unlocks it, opening her notes before reaching over to snatch one of her textbooks. 
“I don’t understand why you’re on my ass about my studies so much, Gage,” she complains, highlighting something in her book a bit roughly, “You didn't even finish high school, so why does it even matter?” 
He doesn’t spare her much of an answer, walking over to the kitchen to find something to cook for them, “Exactly my point. You wanna be better than me.”  
“But you make so much money, you’re able to provide for both of us!” she throws her hands in the air, desperately trying to prove a point to her stubborn roommate, who seemed to be firm on his words.
“That’s only because I got connections. Now shut your mouth and study.” 
He doesn’t find much in the fridge nor the cabinets, silently setting a reminder in his mind to do a grocery run first thing tomorrow before work. Eventually, he decides to heat up some leftovers they had for lunch and cut up some fruit for her to snack on while she did her work. It’s shit, he knows, but it’ll do till tomorrow. 
He makes his way back to the living room, plopping on the couch next to her and setting the food on the coffee table, maintaining a good distance between their dinner and her work. The last thing he wanted was to spill anything on her laptop and notes -- it would only give her another reason not to be productive. 
He doesn’t say much, but his eyes flicker over to her for a moment, a small smile on his face at the sight of her seemingly focused on her work now, a sense of satisfaction overcoming him. Gage leans back on the couch, pulling his phone out to distract himself while he kept her company in the living room. He takes a few bites of his portion of the leftovers, glancing at Sole here and there to ensure she was still on track. 
It’s a peaceful few minutes, he can’t recall how long, as they both sit in silence, her music playing softly in the background to fill up the white noise. Suddenly, he hears a sigh, sounding a bit defeated, and his eyes set on her sulking figure. 
“Gage, I know that you want the best for me, but I’m nearly twenty-three and you still treat me like a kid.” he stares at her, not showing any reaction but notices how she refused to make eye contact with him, her eyes glued to the screen of her laptop. 
When she doesn’t get a response, she closes her eyes before turning her body towards him, her expression serious, but he can see right through her. She’s pleading, but not in an annoying bratty way like she usually does, so he decides to listen to her troubles. 
She scoots closer to him and he watches, his phone long forgotten in his hand, “I’m really grateful for you and all that, but you need to trust that I can do well in school and balance my time. You can’t take care of me forever.” 
Instead of getting a response like she’d hope for, she was met with the usual silence he often provided her when she tried to set her boundaries. With an irate expression, she turned back to her laptop, her face flushed in embarrassment, feeling like her words vanished into thin air. 
She should’ve known better than to talk to Gage — he was a man of few words and she didn’t know why she expected him to at least say something to show that he at least cared about her feelings one way or the other.
Before she could continue studying to hide her embarrassment and anger, she hears his voice and freezes. 
“I know.” his voice is gravelly, a bit of exhaustion mixed into it, and her head shoots to him, a bit stunned at his broken silence. Her eyes are wide, body paralyzed at the sudden response. There’s a slight flush on his face but she convinces herself it’s the lighting. 
Definitely. 
He knows she’s waiting for more than just that and he sighs, crossing his arms as he makes eye contact with her the best he can without losing his shit, “Just want you to have a good future. Want you to live a better life than what I’m giving you right now before I send you off.” 
Suddenly, she’s overcome with guilt and she immediately leans over to him, her hands finding his as she cuts him off, “No, that’s not what I meant!”
With another breath, she composes herself before speaking. 
“Gage, you’ve given me everything I’ve wanted and needed, the last thing I’ll ever do is criticize your care for me. I don’t plan on leaving your side, even when I get a better life.” 
His heart twinges and his feelings for her resurface, but he pushes it down. 
She pulls on the sleeves of his hoodie, playing with the fabric with her fingers, “I just want you to trust me more. I know I’ve been slacking a bit, but I’d never fail school, especially when I know you’re working hard to provide for both of us and paying for my tuition. I’d never do that to you.”
“Wouldn’t say I’m working hard,” he downplays it, not wanting her to fret about such a miniscule matter. 
She groans, “You work twelve hour shifts everyday. Sometimes fourteen!”
He shrugs nonchalantly and Sole pouts at his stubbornness, smacking his arm with annoyance. Gage bites back a smirk, amused by her behavior and catches her wrist midair, her eyes rolling. Instead of providing her with a response, he digs in his pocket and hands her the remote to the TV and her eyes light up, a smile forming on her pretty face. His heart aches at the sight. It was such a small action but it was more than enough to validate her feelings. 
“Thank you, you’re the best!” she jumped over, throwing her arms around his neck as she embraced him tightly. 
His face flushed heavily and tried to seem annoyed to cover it up but the stutter in his voice and the tenseness of his shoulders gave it away. Gage pushed her away with his hand as he groaned quietly, “I get it, don’t need to be so damn happy about it.” 
However, she pecked his cheek and he froze instantly, his body paralyzed and his voice raising in embarrassment, “Q-Quit it!”
She giggles and doesn’t take much offense to his words, knowing that he was nothing but a big softie for her. As she released him, she smiled at him happily once more before turning to the TV and putting her show back on. 
Gage rubbed the spot where she kissed, his face a deep red as he tried to regain his composure. Suddenly, he pushes down the real reason of why he refused to leave her side for the millionth time, reminding himself that there were several other possibilities other than that. 
‘What a damn burden,’ he thinks to himself, desperately trying to fight back his feelings for her, his eyes glued to her gleeful form next to him. 
Suddenly, her kiss lingered on his skin a little too long, the feeling of her arms around him marking his skin, and he’s left absolutely horrified, realizing that he could no longer convince himself otherwise. 
Maybe accepting it was better than constantly running and Gage thinks it over for a moment but ultimately shakes his head, wanting to do anything but that. 
‘Just a stupid thought. Some stupid fucking feelings,’ he settles for that answer but knows deep down that he’s already lost the battle, his heart hammering in his chest. 
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josephquinnswhore · 2 years
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Don’t Listen - pedro pascal x bisexual! female reader
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Summary: you receive hate from Pedro's fans because they think you're lying about your sexuality.
Word Count: 0.9k
Content Warning: bullying, online harassment, self doubt.
Note: I know it’s not pride month yet but IM PROUD TO BE APART OF THE COMMUNITY EVERY MONTH. Love you all so much 🏳️‍🌈. In Australia we recently just celebrated Mardi Gras - it inspired me to write something as a bisexual woman.
Pedro loved this time of the year, he supported the lgbtqi+ community loud and proud, using his platform, he became a public voice for people in the community to support them. You had reposted Pedro’s own tweet and made your own, being apart of the community as a bisexual woman, you wanted you extend your support and acknowledge the struggles the community has faced and face to this day, while admiring how far things had come in the past few decades.
Pedro’s ‘fans’ decided this was outrageous and they simply couldn’t accept it, Twitter users in general were blasting you, because you posted the pride flag and the bisexual flag, owning the hurdles and self doubt you’d felt with over the years coming to terms with your sexuality. Your brain kept repeating the words you read.
“Bisexual? She’s definitely cheated on pedro.” No. I would never.
“It’s any wonder she could attract one gender let alone two.” Everyone is beautiful.
“Fakeclaiming being apart of the lgbtqi community isn’t cute girl. Check yourself!!!!” I would never lie about something so important.
“Fucking dirty slut. Leave pedro and save yourself the embarrassment.” Why are do people say such horrible things.
“How can pedro be with someone like this?” He loves me, right?
Pedro hadn’t been oblivious to the fact that you’d received hate comments over the years as a result of being his girlfriend, it was expected, and usually you handled things great. Communicated with Pedro and your skin grew thicker over time, their comments about you held no weight, your kindness became power for you, disgregarding them like water off a ducks back.
This however, triggered you immensely and sent your mind spiraling, your brain searching for the memories that had traumatised you as a teenager growing up in a strict and homophobic household. It was the one and only thing you truly struggled with in your life, and thought you overcame.
Pedro has never seen a moment where you doubted yourself or a decision you seemed confident making. He had never been in the position where he has seen you so broken down as you are now;
Pacing the lounge room, tears streaming down your cheeks, red and swollen under eyes, and body trembling, the culprit of your broken demeanour coming from your phone, your eyes encaptured in a trance, unable to stop reading.
Pedro rushed forward and pulled you into his body, your arms in an awkward position press against your chests folded inward. You leaned your head on his shoulder, the softness of his sweater inviting you into him, adding to the comfort he provided. His hand caressed the back of your head, stroking your hair, his fingertips lingering on your scalp causing a ticklish tingle that send a shiver down your neck.
“Shhh, I’ve got you.” His hushed voice whispering in your ear made you weak, your heart soaring and overflowing with love as he swaddles you in his arms, protecting you.
“Look at me baby.” You comply, your lip is in a small pout as it wobbles, your eyes shining with a gloss that made your eye colour more enticing as they’re full of emotion, a redness covered your cheeks and top of your nose that begged to be kissed to relieve their anguish.
“No one knows your struggle. You are an incredible, brave and intelligent woman and I am so proud to call you my girlfriend.” Tears fall from your lash line and tickle your red cheeks momentarily before Pedro wipes the tear away with his thumb.
“Repeat it with me baby.” The sincerity in his voice has your chest constricting.
“I am incredible.” His brown eyes watch you as you repeat him.
“I am brave.” Your lips mimic the words and he cracks a small smile.
“I am intelligent.” Your lip stops wobbling through the last affirmation, your eyes drying, tear stains on your cheeks crusting.
“You deserve me, I deserve you.” Your voice repeats his words solidly, believing his reassurance.
“Take some breaths with me now baby okay? Just follow my lead.” Pedro inhales deeply, you inhale, your lungs expanding and holding the air for a few seconds before releasing the exhaling with him. Repeating the process, your mind becomes clear with clarity, the overwhelming anxiety dissipating as your usual levelness settles in your brain like a freshly dried blanket providing some comfort.
You open your eyes to Pedro staring down at you, observing you. His eyebrows are raised upward baring concern, lines in his forehead creasing at the action. “Thank you for bringing me back.” Your whisper barely reached his ears, your fingers tickling his face as you traced shapes along his patchy beard. “I’m always going to be here baby. You handled it incredibly, I’m so proud of you.” He leans his head down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead that lingers for a few seconds before parting. Brown eyes scanning your face, admiring the beauty of you, even after you had a breakdown. Pedro took you all, the good the bad, the fucking terrible. He would do it everyday if he had to. You were his girl, he would move mountains for you.
“I’m so lucky to have you. I love you Pedrito.” His nose comes down to nuzzle your own, foreheads pressed together lovingly in an effort of Pedro creating a safe space for you. “I love you baby, happy pride month.”
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caplanbuckybarnes · 1 year
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BrokenHearts4Caplan Challenge
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**ignore the graphic, i did it in literally two minutes lol.
So it's been a little while since i hosted a challenge, and since my last one sadly flopped, i ran a poll over sometime, and an angst challenge won the poll. (don't worry, im still gonna do the other writing challenge soon!)
But on the note! here's the newest challenge for you all!
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Rules:
It’s not necessary to follow me, but it’s always appreciated.
There are no deadlines, but please keep me updated on your fics.
Tag the fic #brokenheartsforcaplan
Also tag me in the authors notes (along with the hashtag so I know which Masterlist to place the fic when I post it)
Please tag the proper warnings before the fic
Must be MCU characters only
prompts are all up for grabs. they will not be crossed out if taken
No RPFs
If you’d like to write for more than one prompt, please make them separate fics
Can be however long you’d like the fic to be. (If it’s more than 450 words PLEASE use the keep reading feature.
If I do not respond to your fic being posted in 24hours of you posting the fic, please message me a link.
Send me an ask or a DM with your prompt and the character you’re writing for.
Prompts are down below
“I can’t pretend to love you anymore.”
“Please don’t do this.”
“I loved you, with every fiber of my being. And this is how you return the love?”
“Why don’t you trust me?”
“This can’t be goodbye.”
“Don’t come back ever again.”
“First time seeing a dead body, eh?”
“Please don’t walk out.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“We were never meant to be.”
“I just wanted to be enough for you.”
“I don’t forgive you.”
“Stop saying sorry! It’s always ‘I’m sorry’. When you really aren’t!”
���Get up and fight, you coward!”
“I know you’re lying.”
“I’m so stupid to think we had something.”
“You never cared about me.”
“This isn’t working…”
“I can’t believe you thought this was real.”
“No. We can’t… we are too toxic for each other.”
“Why me..?”
“Us? There was never an ‘us’.”
“No, we can’t- we can't do this.”
“Someone might see us- stop.”
"... What else am I supposed to do?"
“Where else can I go?”
“What do you mean, you’re dying?”
“How could you do this to me?”
“You were never supposed to survive that mission!”
“Leave them; they’re mine!"
“Did you really mean that? you don’t love me?”
“If you don’t love me, prove it to me. prove to me that you’ve never felt something towards me. look at me.”
” Is this what you wanted, huh? you could just make me fall in love with you and then just- just fucking leave? do you really expect me to be okay with that?”
“I wish we had more time.”
“This isn’t the real you talking.”
"Freedom is just a concept, isn't it?"
"I'm not some toy you can play with!"
“Don’t you love me?”
“What did you expect me to say?”
“This will be the last time you lie to me.”
“How did you think this wouldn’t hurt me?”
“I hope you're happier.”
“At least you got what you wanted.”
“I was miserable, and I still loved you.”
“Stop pretending. You wanted me like this… You wanted me broken and you got what you wanted.”
“You don’t own me.”
“I was nothing to you. I was only a toy for you to manipulate and I fell for it.”
“I spent so much time hoping you’d come back to me.”
"You mean nothing to me."
“If I leave, you will never see me again.”
“Don’t – Don’t make me fall in love again.”
“No, please, I don't want to die!”
“Why can’t you be happy for me for once?”
“We shouldn’t be together anymore. I’m supposed to hate you.”
“Why would you do this to us?”
“How could I be so oblivious.”
“Why did I even think I could be enough for you?”
“I needed to hold you once more.”
“I don’t understand... Wha- what are you saying...”
“I don’t want to say something I’ll regret later.”
“Haha! You think I love you? That’s pathetic.”
“What the fuck do you mean, you killed him?”
“You don’t get to leave and then come back after all this time and expect me to welcome you with open arms.”
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boy-gender · 5 months
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Im a very big proponent of lying and/or withholding information on the internet, ESPECIALLY if you belong to a marginalized group. This entire blog is about trans men and i purposely tag my posts to get as much spread as possible. This blog is not private; it's huge and very public facing. And that invites the usual bigotted assholes; transphobes, mostly terfs, weirdly a lot of the forced pregnancy crowd. Those people are dangerous in their own right with doxxing, mass reporting, and stalking irl. Thats why I keep shit vague. Sasha is not my name, is not related to my name, and is not a name i have ever gone by. My age is 21+ and that's all you get. I'm in the northeast usa, which is hugely populous but relevant to my posts about medical care which is why it doesnt just say "american." When I post pictures of my top surgery results, my face is never in them, and I censor identifying scars and tattoos.
Now personally im not uber worried about run of the mill bigots. I block preemptively. I have code in my blog that allows me to see who is viewing it, when, and where from. I feel safe enough with the precautions I take that this kind of harassment doesn't bother me.
What *does* bother me is pissbabies who dont know queer history dragging me into pointless discourse, and fandom police. These are not people I *ever* want finding my main blog. This blog is a side project- I saw a hole in the community, a lack of positivity for trans men, and I wanted to help fill it. My main is my home on the internet. I have been on that blog *for longer than some of you have been alive.* I am not risking being harassed and falsely mass reported and having my friends targeted because someone hates my opinions on fucking star wars.
This is a lesson from ye olde internet. LIE. Stop telling people your name and age and birthday and location and mental illnesses and triggers and posting selfies with recognizable locations in the background. Like for fucks sake- you do not *ever* owe anyone this information for anything. Not to be in a discord, not to participate in a fandom event, not nothing.
Stop asking people for this information, and stop providing it. You can never take it back once you do.
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saintadeline · 26 days
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Ohhh I am trying so hard not to get mad at people online you have to believe me but that post about bloodborne liking women is driving me a little bit crazy not gonna lie. We can all so clearly see and point out misogyny in ds (um. Im hoping at least) so why can't we ever do it in bloodborne? Even though its the same people? What about bloodborne makes you think theyre feminists all of a sudden. Because it talks about women? Okay, but that's not how that works, a work that disregards women is misogynistic, that much everyone knows, but a work that does talk about women but portray them in a weird light can also very much be. Also whenever people say bloodborne is about women or femininity, a huge chunk of the time what they mean is bloodborne is about motherhood and pregnancy. Which is true, but thats... Not what womanhood is thats not what women are about you can't just reduce women as a concept to birth. And motherhood. And being caretakers. Almost every woman in bloodborne has less agency than their men counterparts, most of them are more strongly abused, shown as complacent and weak and only exist to serve. Even maria has no agency and is constantly driven back to the fact she was gman's apprentice and following he and laurence's orders. She has little identity outside of them in written down ingame lore and the one time she did something outside of them, is the one time she became a caretaker (because all women are it seems). The fact the og lady maria npc even exists is even worse on that part. I'm using her as an example because shes the one people most often take as an example of bb being good about women (look theres a strong female character!) but it's obviously much more than just her, just look at arianna and adella for more than one second. The only npcs i can think of that i would consider Actually Good And Normal About Women are eileen and fauxsefka. And i mean actual npcs im not counting bosses that we dont know much about on a personal level (like rom and amelia)
What I'm trying to say is, i think it's awesome when people have feminist interpretations of bloodborne and i think its a good thing to take those female characters for yourself and its a good thing to make the game as transgender and gay as you want it to be, and its perfect soil for that too, i do it all the time and find many many themes in it by myself, but we can't keep lying to ourselves that it was any good at it on its own. It's soulsborne for fuck's sake it has Always been Really Weird about women and minorities just look at ds look at firekeepers and gwyndolin and many other examples. Bloodborne isnt exempt from that just because men are writing about pregnancy as horror.
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