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#I DIDNT WANT TO BE RIGHT IM SO SORRY JON
magnuscomedybracket · 10 months
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Round 3 Match 6
131 Flesh vs. 118 The Masquerade
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Propaganda under the cut!
131 Flesh
so the episode starts with jonathan IDIOT sims of the FUCKERY INSTITUTE deciding you know... to get into the torture coffin i need to have a connection up here on the surface so i can find my way out... so, obviously, youre like awwwhh is this the moment he realizes he needs martin and saves him from the lonelt❤️❤️❤️ does he have a heartwarming connection w his coworkers and realize he needs his friends and cant just do everything alone❤️❤️❤️ and then that fool, that absolute bastard, that CIRCUS of a MAN goes. i nees physical pain AND THEN TRIES TO CHOP HIS FINGER OFF FOR FIVE MINUTES WHILE THE EYES GOIN hey ! hey stop ! hey ahahhaha stop what are you doing hey ahahah you need your finger hey stop doing that !! and regeneratjng his finger and then goes damn this wont work... IM GOING TO REMOVE ONE OF MY RIBS ! :D and then he goes to find JARED BONETURNER HOPWORTJ who yk has KILLED PEOPLE which helen just had IN HER DOORS, YK, FOR FUNZIEZ !! ands like heeey can u remove my rib bbggg hahahahaha ;] and even JAREDS like what the Fuck. then sure ! if u let me out of the DOORS ! then jons like hey btw :3 can i have ur statement :3 and jareds like yah sure if u give me another rib, and jon, jonathan fucking sims. AGREES ! that is like the equivalent of tradinf a rib for a burrito. so jared gives jon his statement and. SURPRISE ! its shit and unhelpful. and now jon has two less ribs, THEN jareds likd yoooo ur rib feels weird as hell and then helen promptly dumps jared into the nearest river. and rhe entire timd tou cannot make out SHIT of what jareds saying i wouldnt be surprised if you told me that guy was speaking in TONGUES. but oh wait ! it gets better ! elias fuckdd up and thd apocalypse wouldve at LEAST been delayed if jon DIDNT take his ribs out. BUT OH WAIT ! IT GETS EVEN BETTER ! later in the gardner jareds like hey ur ribs weird take it back i dont want if anymore it feels weird and then jon fucking smitss him [why the fuck does his rib feel weird btw..does hd have rib eyes? would that mean hd has eyes on all his bones? organs too??? id likd to think so.] *bows* thank you ! thank you !
#flesh is so funny I love melanie in that episode #she’s so pissed off and done with jon #idiot can’t even cut off his finger right :/ god jon you useless piece of shit come with me I know a guy (via @/backslashmagpie)
118 The Masquerade
“Sorry, Elias. I can’t hear you. There’s- a door in the way”
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br1ghtestlight · 9 months
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getting war flashbacks to the bobs burgers fanfic where louise is doing math homework in the restaurant when nobody else is around and then bob has a heart attack </3 that shit was TRAUMATIZING
love linda shouting four whenever there's a math problem or anything related to numbers. best recurring joke. FOUR!!!!
you can do it gene :D also im so bad at math I 100% would not be able to help either. dumbass rep family
bob trying to help gene with his homework is cute. even if he is Not very good at it. he wants to be an involved dad :(
gene im not gonna lie that math question has gotta be fucking with you. rhat is not a real question. i could NEVER do that not if i was given 100 hours that shit is fake
see this is where when I was in math class i would just write a random number and move on bcuz im never gonna figure it out anyway im not gonna waste time. so that's my advice gene. just Give Up
he says "maybe your mom or tina could get you started" because they're older but I genuinely think louise has a better chance of helping bcuz she is so smart. if she'd WANT to help is another question entirely
because I'm stuck in a safe 😐
AND THEN HE BLINDFOLDED ME ON THE WAY HERE??? HE BLINDFOLDED YOU??????
teddy I think his guy is gonna murder you im gonna be so real right now
unfortunately im kinda following teddy's logic now like. it isnt like fischoeder isn't doing this type of shit everyday just for fun. rich guys are just like that BUT getting their money is nice
"gene was doing homework?? that's new"
WE'RE NOT ALL ECONOMICALLY COMFORTABLE LIKE YOU ARE
"Why did you tell me the whole long story about the sandwich in the drawer if you're running out of battery LOCKED IN A SAFE??" "Context!!!!"
also bob and teddy have such great comedic chemistry lmao they bounce off each other so naturally
louise isn't lying she Does have a certain set of skills 😭 if anyone could find him it WOULD be her the lockpicking genius nine year old supervillain
miss you. see you soon. gotta go!!
has he gotten a new cellphone since that MIDDLE OF THE DAY AND YOUR PHONE IS AT 23% argument or is it that same shitty 2008 blackberry phone that dies almost immediately lmfao
bob is a real one for doing this bullshit for teddy he did NOT have to. they're ride or die fr
I'm not entirely unconvinced that gerald isnt a serial killer but thats okay <3 men can have hobbies
also I'm choosing to believe this gerald is the same one from the taxes/weed cookie episode even though it ABSOLUTELY is not bcuz i think that would be funny. by day he's a regular tax agent by night he is a creepy rich kidnapper who pulls mind games on all his handymen
OH I FORGOT THE SUBPLOT FOR THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT SPORTS PEOPLE why did they do the whole thing with gene's homework then.... are they connected. what is the gameplan
WE PICK A NEW LOVER FOR MOM
i love how bob is apparently the only thing keeping his family from going completely off the fucking rails like. he's the only thing standing between his family and their restaurant burning down with everyone inside fr
your dad never loved that dream :/ because he's a hater :/ AND SO JEALOUS :/
you're not gonna break the world record. another hater. STOP THAT
I might be having a panic attack 💔 I CANT TELL BECAUSE IVE NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE OR IM ALWAYS HAVING ONE soo real teddy
WE LOST HIM 😭😭💔
aww I love them all wearing their lil aprons <3 (crappy photo of my tablet bcuz the app im using to watch this episode doesn't allow screenshots)
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SAY SOMETHING SMART LIKE UHH HOW WOULD YOU FLIP A GIANT BURGER. OH GOD THEY DIDNT MAKE THE GIANT BURGER DID THEY. WHO WOULD EVEN AGREE TO EAT THAT. AN OVER FOURTY CO-ED BASKETBALL TEAM. REALLY 😯
sorry this episode has so many good ooc quotes FJDMDJSKSKKM
gene STOP calling him father
bob is being like a whole ass detective meanwhile linda and the kids are currently making The Worst Decisions Ever
h jon benjiman is doing such a good job voicing bob in this episode idk it has so much personality and sounds natural. or it's always like this and im just now appreciating it but either way A+ work
cute bob and teddy moment ❤️❤️
(ignore the awful camera quality. nothing I can do there) also love the fact that teddy can easily lift up and manhandle bob. Good to know
there's so much going on w/ this gerald guy I dont even know WHERE to begin. what a guy. wow
this is so cute and sweet im so happy!!! YOU DOUBLE FAKE WALLED HIM :D YOU SMART SMARTIE. YOURE A GENIUS BOB
"I knew I asked the right person to come help me. Yeah. Mort wouldn't answer."
"What? You called Mort first?"
"No..."
HE ASKED MORT???? LMFAO big win for tedmort shippers. I fucking guess
MORT NEVER DOUBLE FAKE WALLED ANYONE why is bob like genuinely jealous of mort and teddy right now 😭 chill out man you've got a wife at home
"let's just say it's twelve" FINALLY bob follows my very smart advice when it comes to math homework smh
ALSO THIS IS TECHNICALLY THE FIRST TIME WE'VE SEEN THEM EATING BOBS BURGERS FOR DINNER OR IN GENERAL!!! I mean it's a giant hamburger loaf but it technically was served at bob's burgers so it counts
GIANT FRENCH FRIES
aww this episode was so fun and cute!! I love the more adventure-y type episodes where they explore a new location so this episode was great and very stressful lmao. also very funny. I love bob and teddy's dynamic/back and forth throughout the episode and the weird mort mention at the end felt like they were soft launching his and teddy's relationship even though I KNOW they aren't actually. mort could replace kathleen if we believe. very solid 8/10 episode :)
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m0ther-of-p3arl · 5 months
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hi i finished tma season 1
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IM GONNA THROW UP NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO
WHY HER WHY SASHA WHY MSUT THEY DO THIS WHY MY WIFE WHY WHY N OOOOOOO
THAT IS NOT MY SASHA THAT IS NOT MY WIFE WHAT THE FUCK GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!!!!! SHE DIDNT EVEN EAT ANY NOTEBOOKS MAN WHY SHED GET GRAHAM'D!!!! IM GONNA CRY THATS NOT HER THATS NOT HER THATS NOT HER WHAT THE HELL "yes." YOU ARE NOT MY BELOVED GET OUT
THAT FUCKING TABLE ISTG I HATE IT I HATE IT IM GONNA HIT IT WITH TWELVE BILLION METAL PIPES WHY DIDNT JON BREAK IT YOUUU FUUUUUUCKKKK THIS IS NOT A COINCIDENCE NO WAY THAT TABLE ISNT RELATED TO WHATEVER THIS REPLACEINATOR IS. IS IT THE SAME CREATURE THAT SKEDADDLED INTO GRAHAMS FLAT????? WHY DOES NO ONE SEE ANYTHING WRONG W SASHA THAT IS SO OBLIVIOUSLY NOT HER
the worms the worms the worms ... worm wife ..... the screamerrrrrrrrrrr the wormerrrrrrrrrrr
tim is so silly i love him tbh. my man (presumably) took off his pants in the middle of a wormpocalypse. thanks buddy. he should be high on co2 more often."statement of joe spooky... regarding mysterious happenings..." silly guy silly guy (the horrors) "im fine though. except for the holes. and the pain. and the blood. and the nightmares. couldve been worse though, eh?" u need 12 diff types of therapy now buddy
MARTIN is quite silly too i like him a lot ... erm i think he might actually be a ghost Jon was onto something (silly). jons still such a hater STOPPP HES JUST OUT HERE VIBING... HE SOUNDED SO SAD AND SCARED :( i want to hug him please "im sorry i left you" .. i know what you are
why was Gertrudes body just There btw. what the fuck. shes just been there??? man imagine ur running from The Worms and then BOOM random dead body of the old Archivist HELLO?? AND SHE WAS SHOT??? NO SPOOKY SCARIES ?? JUST GOOD OL GUNS??
i looked it up. the missing cases. have sashas voice. and the homophobic vase statement. im going actually going to be sick. wdym "Evelyn Hewett as Not!Sasha" GOODBYE I HATE EVERYTHING
they all sound so tiiired :[
SORRY TO RANT IN YOUR INBOX BTW IM JUST. NEED TO SCREAM. GOING INSANE
AND SORRY FOR ALL THE CAPS IIIIIMM
I NEED TO BE LOBOTOMIZED RIGHT NOW WHYYYY
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AAAAAAH I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO RESPOND TO UR RANT IN EVERY POINT IN ITS ENTIRETY BUT REST ASURED IVE READ THE WHOLE THING AND IM
FUCKKK YESSSSSSSSSS
i knew you'd like tma. i fucking KNEW it. and it only gets worse from here hehehehhe so watch out >:3 and THEN u have to listen to protocol.... fuck yes.........
YOURE CATCHING ON TO SO MUCH OF THE LORE STuFF THO GOOD JOB U UNDERSTAND IT SO MUBH BETTER THAN I DID MY FIRST LISTEN LOL
yea sasha.... oof....... bro got graham'd as u said :3
tim.... auauuaauua a fandom favorite. ofc. the lovely. i have so much to say aobut tim and what a [insert adjectvie that i cant say cos spoilers] character he is but i CANT cos again SPOILERS........
martin is so lovely. i love that man. gorgeous ass lovely human. honestly one of the best characters (but jon's my fave im a jon girlie)
THE HOMOPHOBIC VASE LMAO yes. also. have u heard the jurgen leitner rant?? id save it til after u finish s2 but it is definitely something that every tma fan should memorize.
jurgen leitner?! stupid idiot motherufkcing jurgen leitner god damn fool book collecting dust eating rat old bastard shithead idiot avatar of teh whore, biggest clown in the circus laughed out of town, cowboy motherfucker jurgen leitner (etc etc. this goes on for about 4 paragraphs.)
I RELALY APPRECIATE U RANTING IN MY INBOX. BECAUSE U STARTED LISTENINT TO TMA COS OF ME. ITS LIKE MY HARD WORK IS ALL PAYING OFF. IVE INDOCTRINATED U INTO THIS STUPID FUCKING PODCAST.
dw it destroys everyone. makes everyone go insane. i had the Exact Same Reactions on my second listen ;-; it's a podcast and a half tbh. fucking amazing.
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misterradio · 10 months
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house of leaves has my mind blown at such random stuff. page 97 has a check mark in the corner.
[i'll add random other musings below]
notation 127 references a real book which is even on archive dot org..!!! and it says to check out a diagram But you need to log in to view the book. AAGHH!!
page 119 it is now time to be confused on how to read this 👍
nevermind the box is just all one long footnote. and the backwards box is like a reversal of the previous box.
"this is what happens when you hurry in a maze. the faster you go, the worse you are entangled"..... UH OH !
the footnotes along the sides are just BUILDING NAMES?? and then ARCHITECTS ??????? i do really like the cyclical nature of these notes, one makes u flip thru several pages and then you have to turn the book upside down and flip back thru the same pages. the last note in this series is right at the 2nd page in this sequence but along the side. makes me think of. a spiral ::-) makes me smile.
im just now realizing some of these notation marks are letters instead of numbers....X appears several times (that footnote is on page 107) but theres also like, LL (but if the first L was reversed)? and this one is F (page 122). not sure if there is a meaning here
page 127 guys this is scary
(page 151) "I was sorry to hear he disappeared. Do you know what happened to him?" HE WHAT?????
(page 620) okay i decided to read some more letters from (checks her name) Pelafina and. this is one is. ::-(
okay i finished her letters and wah........... sad. i wonder what was the one jewelry johnny kept from her.
(page 154) i already forgot what these different names were for ermmm lol. great hall and antechamber. i forgor
(page 159) the fact that the stairwell was around 13 miles long for Roberts' crew and then for Navdison its 100 feet.... LOLLLL F--K the explorers in particular
(page 192) YAY JED and wax !!! i never thought id be so so happy to see them again. yayyy. but now getting out is the next obstacle.. F--K OFF I CANT BELIEVE HOW SOONI SPOKE f--k this book
SICKENIINNNNGGGG!!!!!!!
(page 263) I LOVE THAT there are occasional emails from people after the 1st printing and someone says "what was all that crazy stuff in the introduction about guns and blood?" THATS WHAT IM SAYIINNGGGGG
(page 272) this makes me think that the stairwell is analogous to a throat..
(page 305) once again. witnessing the staircase lengthen and groan. makes me think it is literally swallowing navy.
(page 318) im so so glad wax survived YAY
(page 320) this made me get up and start pacing and smiling. like. this house wants navy so bad. SO BAD
(page 326) JOHNNY BECOMES SELF AWARE THAT HE A FICTIONAL CHARACTEr (scary)
btw i did find ouf the letters used in notations are actually symbols bc there is a photo of a graph of them on the inner cover. i dont actualy know how to look up what they are called at all tbh. theyre like. aircraft related.
(page 342) bruh this is new and scary. fhe house's shifting horror now extending beyond the imposible hallways but into the main house ...... what the......
(page 397) everyone in this book is so FREUDIAN !!!! like all the psychology is so fruedian i think.
(page 402) im so fascinated by these dream scenes i didnt expdct this book to really have a dream scene but there u go ^^__^^ im sad the promised third dream is missing......
OH YEAH BABY WE ACTUALLY HAVE A MINOTAUR PRESENT also in a dream scene. EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR A MINOTAUR PRESENCE
(page 406) this is some like. reverse tma thing. you know how in tma everyone who gives a statement to jon has nightmare of him. this is like what if jon did something to absolve everyone of their nightmares. huh. (also i havent gotten past this part i dont even know what navidson Does back in the house yet.........)
OH I JUST REALIZED THE SKETCHES IN APPENDIX II ARE JOHNNY'S. he mentioned doodling on any scraps of paper he had like mail and i was like heh. just like in the appendix. OH WAIT
i love that tgis chapter does NOT end in a period and ends with an open-ended sentence that segues into the next chapter. thats so neat ::-) idek if navy is still alive like wtf i dont know yet SHHH shhhh
(page 425) the dread this is imbuing in me. the floors tilting slightly wherever navy goes to guide him along. youre at the mercy of this house now..
(page 465) WHAT THE ? THIS BOOK IS WITHIN THISBBOOK? (navidson has a book titled house of leaves) WHAT?
(page 468) this desolation almost made me cry somehow . maybe logcially its not the worst thing thats happened in this book but the nothingness is crushing
this part makes u turn the book around a lot and i really did get a sense of dizziness while reading bc i realized i didnt know whether the text i was reading was really along the bottom of the page or what... also im still so tripped up that they mention this book by name, even say how many pages it has, and that 'maybe some of the pages are hard to read'. bro.
the song on page 479 is apparently "when johnny comes marching home" which i had to look up but thats where the tune of that song the ants go marching one by one comes from???? u learn something new every day.
i like that the footnote on page 488 is another of those aeronautic symbols (theres a chart of some of them on a collage in the back) and this one means "heavily injured, need a doctor"...............
(page 527) "and whenever she laughs the notes sing a call to Victory" STARTS BAWLING
okay i done YAYYYYYYYYY AAAUUUUUHHHHHHHHHGGGGHHHHHHHHHH i have yet to finish the appendices....
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atopvisenyashill · 5 months
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general thoughts-
this is ep 4 & 5, which means i’m onto ep 6 and beyond and that’s usually where i start falling asleep and go “actually there’s another show i could be watching” so that’s gonna be fun aksjdj
if jory has a million fans, i am one of them. if he has one fan, i am that fan. if he has no fans it means i am DEAD.
i think john bradly is kinda awkward at first but i definitely remember him improving. he comes off a bit insincere in some spots to me but he has good chemistry with kit - when sam is like “so you DIDNT know where to put it” and jon runs over to whack him, that feels very genuine, just two boyfriends besties fucking around.
i do love alliser thorne walking in like “i know what you are” can a man not have a giggle with another man. he’s such a hater.
just the immediate, zero hesitation “you’re too fat for your armor” oh i Know ned desires that man carnally
i have completely forgotten why hugh hammer was important i had to go look him up ajsjdh
ned looking back at littlefinger like “alright we’re friends but let’s not get unserious here” when he puts his hand on sansa’s shoulder
JOFFREY STANDS UP IN ALARM (and interest) WHEN SANDOR JUMPS IN, and joffrey keeps looking at robert to see what robert is going to do, he’s like impressed, slightly concerned, excited, then you see robert kinda look joffrey’s way before he says to stop. jack, mark……………deserved award nominations dammit…….
the little fish pin bran is playing with while he’s thinking of his mom…… “from the moment i placed her in your arms to the moment she dies, she will love you” “sometimes i think you are too smart for your own good” IM GONNA SCREAM ACTUALLY.
not i moved closer to the tv to get a look at the lil fish pendant and then ros’ boobs were just right there 😭😭 i’m not saying i don’t respect sexposition but i am saying we could have gotten nedcat sexposition instead of making ros do all the heavy lifting here.
Conleth Hill is so funny as Varys. He’s got perfect comedic timing, his cadence when he’s going back and forth with someone else is always spot on, you’re always getting the feeling he’s laughing at you.
me and my sibling like to decide out loud if it’s a “good enough” reason to use that word and i’m sorry “they say the eyrie is impregnable” “i’ll impregnate the bitch” Not A Good Enough Reason To Use That Word
Ramin is a genius for this score, the way the music in the scene in the Eyrie is so unsettling but never loud, staying at the same low level until tyrion gets to the sky dungeon and THEN starting to crescendo? i love him i would die for him
this renly & loras scene is the sexiest scene in the whole series. the focus on the hair around renly’s nipple. the bitchy way they snipe at each other in between trading new pieces of hot goss. loras bullying renly into committing treason. “if you want hairless maybe you should find a little boy” “i want you” RICH coming from the man who groomed his squire.
jory’s death & this fight scene always stands out in the series and the show does a great job making it stand out too. that absolutely visceral eye horror where jory’s still aware for a few seconds & the way they REALLY let sean bean & ncw start warming up with the sword skills only to CUT THAT SHIT OFF and jaime is so upset but not enough to do anything different. really fun.
changes i noticed
i feel like they made theon much less weird. where is his inappropriate giggling. why is he not flirting with robb’s mom. i do like this convo between him and tyrion though, don’t get me wrong, i love the dynamics of it, and i love the way it’s in conversation with theon’s story as it goes on - both in that he enters another absolutely stupid ass war bc of pride, and also that he’s going to become physically disabled, but here he invokes an ableist insult towards Tyrion to soothe his own wounds over Tyrion taunting him specifically about his fondness for the Starks being so pathetic considering his status as a hostage. Tyrion says something cruel and Theon is cruel right back; this is traumatic and yet just another Tuesday for both of these men.
i remember so much discourse about this tyrion/theon scene and like which one is more ~problematic~ in this scene and it’s like bro. they’re both being huge assholes here for a very specific reason and they both deserved to get clouted what do u want from a convo between two of the most maladjusted characters in this series aksjdj
Having Petyr creepily whisper Sandor’s backstory which he shouldn’t even fucking know in Sansa’s ear instead of letting Sandor tell that story himself. Beyond that I just Don’t understand the fascination d&d seem to have for aiden’s acting and littlefucker as a character, i just don’t get the point of taking like The Foundational Sandor/Sansa scene, which is also Foundational to Sansa’s changing concept of morality and honor, as well as the overreaching concept of what a True Knight is, and giving it to a character who just Does Not Fuck With Sandor Like That. i hate this. it’s one of my favorite scenes and they just destroyed it for what. for a dude otherwise known for being the Worse, Less Sexy version of brian kinney?? rory mccann would have Killed This Scene!! I FEEL RAGE!!!!!!!
ONCE AGAIN they take the kill catelyn makes to save tyrion’s life and give it to tyrion for…..WHAT. FOR WHY. I WANT THEM DEAD FOR WHAT THEY DID TO CAT OMG.
Okay here we go, weird Theon. I think this Theon/Ros scene starts out good but it could have ended better. Like, the way he can’t even go to a brothel without being mocked for being a hostage. His fixation on Tyrion’s sex life. The way he is too close to Ros’ face when he’s talking to her. I like that last “i don’t want to pay for it” “then get yourself a wife” exchange but i think his comment about his father and her return should have been sharper. It’s missing that Pizzaz that the other added scenes have.
They changed up the Council scene by changing the wording to include the “honorable fool” nonsense, and also cut out barristan so ned doesn’t have someone on the council who he actually gets to come around to his argument, as well as cutting several points of his argument. It’s so stupid. They think Ned is so fucking stupid. ugh.
This next Robert/Cersei scene isn’t imo as good a setup as some of the other ones, because I don’t think Robert OR Cersei are emotionally in a space where she could come up there and argue that much with him and still get him genuinely explaining why he feels a certain way to her. On the other hand, the actual dialogue is VERY in character - Robert breaking down his worries about Dany is good, Cersei being both angry but also deeply curious about how to lead the realm, the way they both start drinking together and cracking up at the idea that their marriage is holding the realm together. Amazing. I love the way the redness seeps out of Robert’s face as the conversation turns serious. It’s almost like he wants to reach out to comfort Cersei, but he does it once again in the most selfish way possible by laying this horrible emotional burden on her shoulders. “does that make you feel better or worse?” “it doesn’t make me feel anything.” it’s so good. i can’t believe neither of them were nominated for this.
i also really like this scene for the later parallel they do with Aemon - the way Robert’s love for Lyanna is so meaningless, an excuse for him to disappear into his vices, she was so nonexistent as a person to him that he can’t even remember anything but the idealized stone statue of her face, and here is Aemon so much further removed from his loved ones, so far removed from even when his memory involved seeing, and he pours over every detail in his mind to remember her face
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timjohns3rd · 2 years
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:/
Sigh...you visit my dreams way too much..which opens up my self inflicted wounds.. First I dont want you think Im playing a victim as i know Im not...I deserve everything that I get....and Im posting this to let it get to you this time...cause for myself I need to to get things out and not hold it in..and I guess its for me to say good bye too.. you are right what I did was unforgiveable... I shouldnt have let Angie manipulate me, nor say some stuff (other stuff they still found on their own like IG and then cornered me with it).. As much as I wanted a family...it was 100% wrong.  know that I never once have lied to you..except trying to hide a gift or something.  You were my best friend...greater than any I have had...even to the point it made some friends jealous.. there were times yes I wanted to be with you...and even had that dangled or held over me by others...but more than not..I was afraid of losing the friendship...THAT I wanted to keep no matter what and would never have traded it for anything even being with you...the whole stuff with Tim did 100% take its toll on me mentally even to the point where he ruined vacations etc... like I said...I didnt know Jon...and it didnt seem like at first he wanted to know me or like me..I misjudged him a ton...which I why i I snapped in Ohio..with how they were treating him, you, nikki, and I...and I realized how much I was used some... I should have been stronger before hand...but I got to know him and regretted it... I did badly want to tell you...and wanted to bring it up many times...but again that fear of losing you as my best friend was so strong...I am sorry to Jon for thinking he was going to be another Tim..and misunderstanding some of the lifestyle and I know I can never make it up to him..I was trying by trying to get closer...but deep down...it made my guilt worse..hence why I pushed away some too from both of you... I am sorry for letting my mental health get so out of control and into break downs to do things bad before...and before the friendship ended...I was and still have afraid to deal with it...but I am doing it harder...at least the way a former friend would want me...its rough...and I have to visit old wounds but i am doing it... Daryl is going to contact you at some point to get the grids from you...he will contact you on his own...and when he gets them, he will be without me I want to thank you for everything you ever did for me (and when the settlement gets finalized...I will be paying you back the money I owe you too)...  without you I wouldnt have ever enjoyed getting lost in the woods, I would have never flew, never been to vegas (and even then I tried to respect the Tim relationship), never would i have visited another country or a cruise, tattoo, learn to enjoy life, learn to love again and try dating so many times, you helped me at my lowest.. you were my rainbow to smile...you were worth working hard for the friendship...I know you cant ever forgive me right now..if ever...and I accept and understand that...I hurt you...and i can never forgive myself..I offer my sincere apologies on everything I hold dear...including my mother... and here I say....Goodbye Karen...I too wish you all the best in your life...and hope you get everything you ever want...I just dont want the dark cloud I caused to be something to shadow you forever...and you can heal from my hurt and betrayal...I know my your door to me is closed and nailed shut...but mine to you will forever be unlocked if you ever need it... but please keep doing the best you are  in life...I know as my best friend...I truly did care and love you...you have made changes in someone so much that helped them more than you know... Goodbye Karen 
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wrestlezon · 2 years
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aew dynamite 9/28/22 liveblog containment zone
i fell asleep so we watched this like hours later
tay melo and anna jay came out and i couldnt tell them apart OMG the pizza guy is here too?? i thought he got cancelled for being an antivaxxer. though i guess jericho wouldnt care about that LMAO wife joke etc etc is that a real pizza dough or a prop. do they make movie prop pizza dough matt menard calling him THE PIZZA GUY is so funny actually WE WANT PIZZA (clap clap clapclapclap) oh no! he's heeling on ring of honor! hes making all the ring of honor fans mad! these guys and their shirtless blazer looks omg. a hat daniel garcia looks SO MISERABLE knocked out pizza guy ooohhhh garcia gonna quitttttt the jasssss man jericho is giving this guy SO many chances danielson is here! why is his shirt half-tucked into his briefs. hello?? theyre dadtalking so hard right now LMFAO daniel garcia leave your uncool dad and join me, your cool dad. we'll have fun training. we'll have fun fighting garcia is actin out!!!!!!!!!!!! throwing pizza!!!!! MATT MENARD!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he was your wrestleson……. no….. so mean to him… oooh danielson vs matt menard fight
matt menard vs bryan danielson
man they cleaned off the ring real quick regal gettin his excalibur flirts out bright and early (rice krispie treat..) danielson got the pepperonis (these wrestlers are out there cupping) angelo parker out here barking at danielson to stay away from his domestic life partner i was making a joke but then parker pulled menard out of the ring to cradle his head so cheating!!! claudio is here to even the odds lmao the ring corner dive from angelo oh my god hes just carrying him out of the arena. claudio is pretty funny taz calling regal "reegs" omg
whoa! yuta in the ring with a mic.
support you yuta! you gotta learn to promo by doing it! "ive been hit harder by a lot better men" yuta…….. voice crack. yuta youre so cute im sorry. keep up the good work. i like the contrast between how intrinsically cute he is but also hes out there doing toughguy shit whoa mjf in the baseball jersey? how are those ppl writing that cmjf baseball au feeling about this mjf stop calling yourself DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AUGH lmao yuta being scawy… mjf being like O_O ohhhh yuta vs mjf next week lmao my friends frothing about the gunn club being in mjf's pocket (we want to see a max to max interaction)
lethal's group and darby allin doing a video promo thing lethal vs darby next week or so i guesssss
juice robinson vs jon moxley
biker guy juice robinson. i do think he looks better without the dreads meanwhile, in the distance: mjf whoa, rope tumbles lmfao regal making jokes and making the whole commentary table crack up uh oh moxley back on the bloodletting aughh!!! juice dont put that in your mouth!!! blood!!!!!! lmfao live mjf reaction
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crazy this man is just out here wrestling in jeans threatening the referee!! thats how you know he is a bullet club bad guy moxley wins! gasp!!!! its hangman!! hiiiiiii hangman in the dolly parton shirt love to see it. theyre out here nuzzling. literally Just Kiss oh mjf is yelling from his Luxury Box oh no mjf look out!! its yuta!!!!!!!! (lmao) VIOLENCE my friends are complaining about how a yuta vs mjf has no psychological element to it but i think mjf could use a less psychological feud after the cmjf one. you know, as a palate cleanser.
saraya in da ring with a mic
i dont know this lady. but apparently she retired because of neck stuff a few years ago? ladies night in da ring willow :)c who is this blonde lady i dont recognize her. we got athena and willow and skye blue hey at least theres a group here. who are they rivaling, its it the anti-jade or-- oh… its opposing britt baker britt baker is very good at dissing people on mic which is a good quality for a heel. i will say this the crowd is cheering jamie hayter ;_; literally so mad that jamie didnt split off from britt SO MAD HOW LONG WILL YOU KEEP ME WAITING oh a lumberjack match! thats… hmmm isnt a lumberjack match just cheat city my friends brought up a good point that britt baker would be cheating anyway so this lets the good girl team cheat back lmao taz putting tony on blast for being friends with britt baker OHHHH jamie hayter throwing hands with willow nightingale… please you two have a match toni wins!
ohhh!! backstage with the acclaimed!!
whoa. keith lee is here! lmao "swerve isnt here because is exceptionally disgruntled" i love keith lee. "you got carried" isnt this nerd language. im a huge nerd so i cant tell sometimes. i love keith lee he rules. he really speaks to me
backstage with private party and andrade lmao matt hardy with his hands in his pockets. come back to me baby i'll be good to you
ricky starks doing the mario ground pound on that guy's pelvis lmao
oh yesss!! jamie vs willow match on friday!!!!!
bandido vs jericho
wow bandido is so strong. one arm lifting jericho over his head!! lmao shoutout to the british royal navy i guess?? oh my god he is holding up a full man for over half a minute. strong. i barely know bandido but i have to defend him in the voicechat. the amount of luchador face slander going on. i will not accept this blood on da mask!! this match is pretty tense. i dont think bandido is gonna win but theyre really making me--- oh not the massssskkkkk come onnnnn ok jericho won "im going to destroy every ring of honor competitor… commentator… and even.... ring announcer"
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lmaooo
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outofbinaryspace · 2 years
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I don’t know how to process this
Just finished season two of the magnus archives
And well I had theorized that a certain someone was a big bad
And it turned out to be right?? In the worst possible way???
So now I’m just sitting here about to cry over my blorbos cause they’re in so much goddamn trouble
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notreallygoodwnames · 2 years
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What if Jon actually blinds himself in S4? Well, "by himself" not so much. I could imagine how after Martin said no to him and Jon telling the others he goes to Melanie and asks for her help. Because he knew Melanie has the guts to do it, she may not like Jon but she will still respect his decision.
They prepare everything. They close the door, they got a knife, and a string to tie Jon to his chair. He is afraid, but he knows Melanie could do what he couldnt by himself.
-are you ready?- Melanie asks.
-no-Jon lets out a nervous laugh, almost like a sob. But then he takes a deep breath and nods-but im sure about this.
-ok, at the count of three.
And the last thing Jon knew was that Melanie didnt plan to get to three.
She strikes.
Martin recieves a call from the hospital. He is there in a minute and sees Melanie standing behing a door. They share a cold look, then Martín says:
-why?
-he asked me to, it was his desicion and they cant it away from him anymore. -she takes a deep breath-he is waiting inside.
Then she leaves.
Martin stands there alone. After what seems like forever he opens the door with a shaky hand.
He is in there and the first thing Martin can think is how much he hates seeing him in a hospital bed again.
-Martin?-he says-is that you?
There is a bandage covering his eyes. His beautiful dark eyes were gone.
-oh god Jon...
-you were right, Martin. I couldnt have done it on my own. I was too afraid.
Martin doesnt say anything, he enters to the room and inmidiatly takes Jons hands.
-im sorry- Martin says- im so sorry, Jon. If only i ...
-hey, no, no- slowly Jon raises a hand and cradles Martin's face.- Martín, listen to me please. This is not your fault, i wanted this. To scape the institute. To stop being the archavist.
Then it hits Martín.
-wait, you are not... you are not the archavist anymore?
-i dont think so, i tried to know about something, anything but is not there anymore, the knowledge, the eye. Im free.
-oh god Jon-between the tears Jon cant see him smile, they both smile. And before Martin can think it, he hugs Jon.
-im glad you are ok-he says agains his shoulder.
-im glad you are here-says Jon-with me.
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patchdotexe · 2 years
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doip. / 6.23.22
Folks, It Has Been Over Half A Year but dragon of icespire peak continues!
hey remember doip? yeah that's still happening
story so far: we're traveling around and rallying people back to town because a white dragon is sieging the area! we fought a manticore, survived the gnomish pita cutter, stole some barrel crabs, efficiently cleared out a dwarven excavation site, solved a pillar puzzle, escorted don jon raskin to were-rats and then just kinda left him there, stole a bell, and then wandered off to neverwinter instead of actually doing anything about the dragon. also found an orc hiding in a closet with a bucket on his head on the way, solved a totem puzzle, and oh god neverwinter isnt in the module jorb im so sorry LMAO
ended up talking abt sonic origins w jorb while nyx was afk. god i wish it was out when i was doing marathonic
I CAN POST IN CHAT AS THE BARREL CRAB?? nyx: does the barrel crab notice? jorb: the barrel crab does not notice because it is in phandalin
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UH OH THE DRAGON IS HERE. ROLL FOR INITIATIVE
OH GOD IT'S CRYOVAIN LMAO
alidaar ducks behind cover, takes aim with his crossbow, aaaaand misses. whoops leo: im gonna save [my action surge] for when things get more dicey nyx: this entire situation is just a sack of dice.
CRYOVAIN FLYING IN FOR A BREATH ATTACK leo: the good news is i have cold resistance, so that's good nyx: the bad news is-- leo: --there's people behind me.
NAT 20 CON SAVE LET'S GO ALIDAAR TANKS THE HIT ali uses his fire runes and natural resistance to tank the hit! and basically just has a bit of frost on him alidaar: i give cryovain a shit-eating grin.
nameless goes bear mode jorb: ..ARE YOU GONNA GET OFF THE CART BEFORE YOU DO THAT? oh my god nameless just fucking Launched at cryovain ..and then got knocked off bc of a nat1. lmao whoops nyx: you know those pictures of bears just sitting there like a human person?
OUR CART IS GOING TO FALL INTO THE FUCKING RIVER
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ali runs up and dual wields at cryovain! silvered battleaxe gets a nat20 but warhammer goes doip jorb: alright let's see if the breath weapons recharges leo: UH OH! (it didnt)
NAMELESS TAKES 20 PIERCING DAMAGE AND 8 COLD DAMAGE. UH OH LMAO MAX DAMAGE
"can i ask you to make a wisdom saving throw for me please?" nyx and leo: OH NO oh god nameless failed so nameless freaked out over the bell river situation and disengaged to focus on that instead. which leaves alidaar right up in the dragon's face. uh oh uh oh uh oh
VINCENT NOOOOOO THIS FUCKING OX IS TAKING OUR SHIIIIIIIIT THE BELL!! IS IN THE RIVER!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAA
THIS ENCOUNTER IS SO SCUFFED alidaar fucking books it to try and salvage the bell but is out of actions once he's by the river bc of a dash. cryovain now ALSO wants the bell bc shiny. everything is going tits up YES OMG CRYOVAIN TOOK ENOUGH DAMAGE TO LEAVE WITHOUT THE BELL. THAT'S A VICTORY, LADS
So The Bell Is In The River nyx: what do i DO leo: uhhh check your pack?? that's what i'm doing nyx: I Am Currently A Bear leo: oh. you are currently a bear.
nyx: every day. every day i suffer.
BELL RETRIEVED how many people and also a bear does it take to get a cart out of the water? The Answer May Surprise You
alidaar chats up a couple guards! apparently good ol buckethead scampered to neverwinter seeking safety and got captured, so the guards offered for us to interrogate him ..and also recommended that, seeing as alidaar is a fightboy, he go check out the gladiator arena! and ali's just like Haha Yeah Sounds Good (I Will Not Go There) alidaar: [annoyed] fucking neverwinter
everyone promptly gets distracted googling what binturongs sound like (they sound like angry cats)
WELCOME TO NEVERWINTER holy fuck we did it
note to self: remember tiber exists and that we need to get him before we leave i swear to god
Alidaar Is Now The Party Leader dear god. this is a trainwreck somehow manages to finagle his way into getting a room and meals at an inn without embarrassing himself too hard. also managed to roll like 2 nat 20s. how the fuck. TIME TO GET RID OF THIS FUCKING BELL let's go to the jeweler's guild! woO!! alidaar and nameless promptly have a tussle because Nameless Loves Bell. which results in alidaar holding a very angry binturong over his head while casually talking to the guildmaster. guildmaster was not impressed.
got an hour to kill while the bell is assessed, let's go interview buckethead! interrogate. let's go interrogate buckethead. we are now interviewing buckethead for the job of "staying alive"
some guy showed up to tell us about a new shop! Nameless Disliked That. meanwhile, alidaar has nameless on his head bad cop, bad cop, and binturong alidaar interrogates buckethead with a binturong on his head
buckethead's info: there's a rumor that there's some barrow southeast of neverwinter that's got a dragonslaying sword. also cryovain probably hates us and like [alidaar voice] Good HIS NAME IS BUCK buck im so sorry about your life alidaar fucking cackling at buck. buck i am SO sorry ilu
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^ alidaar at nameless
ding, bell's done! 2500 gold! holy fuck! or 200 plat and 500 gold
alidaar, staring into the bag of money at nameless who has crawled into it: can you please be normal
shopping trip! aka time to buy things for the Literal Animal riding alidaar around scimitar: 25 gp / studded leather: 45 gp / boots of the winterlands: 100 gp / 20 crossbow bolts: 20 gp new boot goofin! (all of that except for the bolts was for nameless lmao. alidaar's good) (update: after the session we went back and got alidaar some splint armor bc it turns out he Can get an upgrade that isnt 1.5k gp)
nameless attuned to the boots! New Boot Goofin also nameless has been having external impulses to cling to gold. this is definitely because of the amulet they stole. this is normal nameless also has a binturong tail in halfling form! and beans.
alidaar thinks nameless is "like, twelve"
got a gilded acorn! nameless can now Summon Beasts also got some healing potions, a scroll of comprehend languages, and a scroll of remove curse! ali also got some smith's tools bc why not. proficiency.
time to check out the sus shop! the Shop of Secrets! contains: cloak of billowing, Infinite Mayo Hack (alchemy jug), gloves of thievery, dust of disappearance, ring of weaving (which gave ali the strong impression that he'd be better at underwater basket weaving), bag of holding which is now putting the fear of god into us OH NO THINGS ARE GOING WRONG IT JUST ATE NAMELESS oh my god it was a bag of devouring. lol. lmao IS THAT A FUCKING DECK OF MANY THINGS oh lmao it's just a 13-card tarot deck. jorb scared the shit out of me
(LOOK, AFTER THE BAG OF DEVOURING, MY PARANOIA WS RAMPING UP)
got the gloves of thievery (which are Always Invisible) and the dust of disappearance (one use)!
It's Been A Day. back to the inn
nyx's necklace is SO cursed jorb: in the module it is not cursed leo and nyx: YOU DID THIS
plans for next session: We Forgot To Turn In Our Quests In Phandolin
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uvena · 3 years
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thoughts on eternals
this is hot off the press i need more time to process and collect my critical thinking skills BUT
no thoughts head empty just drukkari
literally who asked for h*rry st*les to be in a marvel movie WHO ASKED literally no one like nobody asked i dont want this i dont wanna have to look at his stupid face any longer than i have to which ideally is never like is he the only go who could do it? really? are they that desperate for clicks? is disney+ doing that badly? bec like he brings absolutely NOTHING he has no presence and i hope it’s just for the 1 movie
personally im disappointed thena didnt slingshot ikaris into the sun like i think that would have been an excellent way for him to go, like i understand why he went out the way he did, it was about atonement, it was about trying to “make amends” after everything he did and the only way he could do that, after trying to annihilate humankind, killing ajak, and being willing to kill his family it was the only way but like... he deserved SO much worse than makkari pressing his face into the rock and phastos trapping him in place like he’s the reason gilgamesh died i think he really deserved worse! and like i know it’s the point but like he was so fucking vain like oh boo hoo you’re not the favorite plus ratio plus you’re annoying as fuck and vain and you broke sersi’s heart and for WHAT
im sorry but i didnt care much about sprite... like i get it but 1) her having feelings for ikaris was stupid and 2) i did not have a lot of sympathy for her even at the end like... like euie said it’s a testament to sersi’s character that she forgave sprite so easily and it IS but guess what bitch i do not have to do that
still sore over losing gilgamesh like it’s always a joy to see his actor in anything but gilgamesh... i know ~why~ he died but it’s such a shame because i loved him so much. i wish we got to see more of him & see him interact with the others more before his death. also “it’s rotten work” @ thena 100% huh... god god god god god that was CRAZEE
this movie needed more makkari i LOVED her i wanted to get to know her better i think she’s my favorite out of all the eternals like we got to see glimpses of her but i hope the next movie gives her more screentime
the thing about druig’s actor is that i saw him in the killing of a sacred deer which still unsettles me to this day and i didnt know if i was gonna love him in this but guess what i DID and i DO
PHASTOS AND HIS HUSBAND AND HIS KID... HE LOST FAITH IN HUMANITY BUT FOUND IT IN THE PEOPLE HE LOVED! HE DID THAT! AND HE DID WHAT WAS RIGHT AND IT WAS FOR LOVE AND IM GONNA CRY
sersi... sersi who had doubts sersi who didnt know why she was chosen sersi who ajak trusted to lead sersi who overcame her doubt and fear and saved the world sersi who forgave the people who hurt her and those she loved she who was willing to risk it all to risk the natural order of the universe to stop the annihilation of humankind she did that she really did
kingo was funny and i wish we could have seen why he was so willing to follow ikaris more like just you know a snapshot into it like we Met him but mostly we got to see sersi and ikaris in flashbacks which is fine but like...
wish we could have seen all the eternals and gotten to know them better but it was a large cast blah blah blah
overall i enjoyed it much more than i expected and it certainly wasn’t perfect but it was fun. still wanna punch ikaris tho
also jon snow... who are youuuuuuuuuuu
AND BLADE? BLADE? BLADE!
sad they splintered in the end :( but i get it :( i want a reunion tho
there’s more but i’ll have to rewatch before i can make like... a dissection post
#::
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robinrequiems · 3 years
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single dad au… but it’s not what you think; damijon
• for you information, he didn’t mean for this to happen!
• damian was walking with his niece, mar’i and than she walks off when he wasn’t paying attention
• fuck
• damian was looking around before he saw mar’i. with a stranger.
• “mar’i you little shit!”
• “im sorry..”
• “is she yours?”
• “yes, you can’t run off like that mar’i.”
• “i wanted to pet the dog- you said we could pet dogs-“
• “.. I did- but-“
• “cmon sweetie, listen to your dad, you can’t run off, you could get kidnapped”
• dad? Damian was- was not her dad- he looked at mar’i with a confused face
• “wait you are her dad right?” “.. Yep! Her dad, right, daughter?”
• fuck he dug himself into a hole, and he couldn’t get out, but luckily mar’i, confused, nodded her head
• it’s not like he’ll see this really nice looking stranger or anything
• her uncle was weird
• “you look young and kinda.. uh”
• “bad with this? I know, I’m bad with kids.” Which was true technically.. he never babysat kids before
• “I’m sure you’re doing great! :)”
• “yeah, daddy’s doing great! he was gonna go get us ice cream! do you wanna come? please! please! please!”
• brat. no they weren’t. “Mar’i cut it out, he’s probably just trying to walk his dad and doesn’t need to go have ice cream with strangers”
• “I’d love to actually”
• damian froze and turned red. he was gonna join. how did the brat get him to get her ive cream- he turned and saw her smirking. mischevious little shit, she was going to be a trouble maker when she grew up
• “yay yay yay! im mar’i!” “im jon:))” “Damian.”
• so they went and got ice cream, jon let her play with his dog, krypto. weird name
• “soo.. uhh..”
• “you’re not good at small talk, are you?”
• “no, no im not. I’ve always been shit at it”
• “pfft, cute”
• “no. not cute. it’s annoying”
• *silence until jon speaks again* “she’s beautiful, I see where she gets it from”
• “yeah me too” kory was very nice looking, dick was okay, i guess.
• jon just stared at him. OH HE WAS FLIRTING WITH HIM
• “sorry- that went over my head, thank you”
• did he look like mar’i? he didn’t know, maybe the hair. okay so she’s his bio kid. ughhh this is going bad
• “no problem! soo is the other person in the picture?”
• “no.”
• okay straight to the point, good job, damian! this is just like an undercover spy, you can do this
• “nice”
• “shit, I should get going, I need to.. get her ready for bed”
• “oh! right— hey.. could I get your number?”
• “yes! I mean yes. Mar’i! come here, we’re going home”
• he gave jon his number
later:
“Uncle Dami has a crush! Uncle Dami has a crush! Uncle Dami has a crush!”
“Shut up!”
“Wait wait, my little dami wamie has a crush!?”
“He was being all gooey and weird while I played with Jon’s dog!”
“I was not!”
“Who’s jon?”
“The guy!”
“A guy I lied to and said that mar’i was my kid because i froze”
“No you dIDNT—“
“He did! He did!”
“Oh my god, kid- that’s- really bad, but so funny-“
“Quit laughing’l
• the stranger texted him later and Damian had to figure out a way to tell Jon he didn’t have a kid w/o seeming like a liar
• why is life so hard
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thompsborn · 3 years
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do you have any spare ironhusbands or sambucky headcanons?
ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY
oh my god okay i’ve been so fucking wrapped up in both ironhusbands and sambucky and absolutely nothing else for WEEKS because of tfatws (obviously if you have seen my endless spam of reblogs but can you BLAME ME) and the portal closed has ironhusbands so i’ve been just. oh my god i am happily drowning in this and them and i do not need nor want air. ok.
also these are all hc’s based just in canon not au, and lol warning this got so long help me, though my brain is so scrambled from tfatws finale that all sambucky thoughts are scrambled and jumbled so i wasn't able to coordinate them as well as ironhusbands so the ironhusbands section is definitely longer pfighf i'm so sorry i'm like this
ironhusbands:
when they met at mit tony didnt know shit. like. like nothing. he didnt know a single god damn thing about anything. like he was a genius he could solve any equation given to him and baffled professors when he was handed like two supposedly impossible equations to this fuckin fourteen year old and he just looked at them with like a mcdonalds burger or some shit hanging out of his mouth and just answered them no problem, but he was still such a hopeless idiot, and rhodey, also a genius attending as a sixteen year old, had to teach him the basics of life, like. making toast. tony how do NOT know how to make toast. its TOAST. you put it in the TOASTER. have you NEVER SEEN A—OH MY GOD HOW DID YOU FUCKING CATCH IT ON FIRE—
he does not perfect the clearly impossible task of making toast until he is 17 and rhodey buys him a cake to celebrate the momentous occasion even though tony went though 528 toasters
you are gold by the national parks. thats it. thats all i have to say. listen to the song and look up the lyrics. you’ll get it.
and also paper planes by jon bellion but specifically for after rhodey tells tony he’s gonna join the air force and tony is worried but doesnt know how to show it and they have like a chill night in and all tony can think about is how stupid he is and how he’s such a coward because he cant get himself to tell rhodey that hi!! i love u!! and im scared to lose u and that you’ll get hurt and maybe die or smth!!
when rhodey finds out about how tony was raised (going with mcu, where tony wasnt physically abused but more emotionally neglected and ignored by howard and always talked down to and compared to others and wasnt treated like he was worthy and never was told he was loved and everything like that) he gets PISSED. like he is MONUMENTALLY angry. and it takes YEARS for him to find out about this too. and it actually puts a bit of a strain on their friendship for awhile when they meet too
like rhodey knows about the starks obviously and he assumes tony is going to be this obnoxious arrogant rich boy asshole and is so not looking forward to being roommates but he was raised to have an open mind and give everyone a chance, but tony was raised to be wary of everyone and keep his walls up and his emotions in shackles because whatever he shows can be used against him, so they clash, you know? they dont fight or anything but theres tension bc it isnt right and they dont get each other.
rhodey tries to be nice and tony doesnt understand nice because his only example of nice is jarvis and his mom and even then his mom and jarvis are always off with his dad so he barely sees them so its still rare for him to experience the nice of them so he doesnt know how to be around someone nice all the time, and so he gets defensive and thinks about how howard drilled it into him to be wary and he thinks maybe rhodey isnt ACTUALLY nice but someone PRETENDING to be
and rhodey starts to feel justified in assuming the worst about tony stark because tony is all cold and distant and rude and is about to stop the keeping an open mind thing about a month into their first year but then he comes back to their dorm early from class one day and tony doesnt come in so rhodey is just standing there and watches for a minute as tony sits there staring down at his twenty sixth attempt at a letter he wants to send his mom becauss he knows his mom likes letters even though he could just call but they havent really called him (howards fault but he’s fourteen still and its hard to rationalize that howards busy life and controlling thumb extends past his son) and rhodey is just confused because tony just suddenly sighs and sniffles a bit and murmurs “this is so stupid” and crumbles up the paper and throws it in the garbage and rhodey cant help but peer into it and barely sees the words hey mom scribbled at the top and that. that. hm. okay.
so rhodey keeps trying because he wasnt supposed to see that but he did and now he kind of has a feeling that maybe tony isnt all that cold and distant and rude as he seems, maybe he just doesnt really know how to be any different, so he thinks about all the subtle little ways that his family has shown him they care about him and starts to invite tony to go get food or to study together even though neither of them really need to study or to help each other with assignments or just anything thats mundane enough to not raise suspicion but still starts to open the door and make tony relax around him just that little bit and then before tony realizes it the end of their first year is there and theyre like friends or something and it hits him that he’s gonna miss rhodey.
for the first time ever there’s someone other than his mom and jarvis that he’s actually going to miss.
rhodey grins at him and says that they’ll be roommates again next year because they have to be and that the summer will be over before they know it and the sentiment is nice but tony spends the summer alone wandering around a house too big and empty after being in a dorm that’s small and has a friend.
but rhodey doesn’t know this. like he knows that tony isn’t the kind of guy he originally assumed but he doesn’t know that he’s literally ignored and neglected and like emotionally and sometimes verbally abused so he’s kind of surprised when the next year begins and they DO end up being roommates again (because tony kind of asked his mom, on a rare day when he got to see her and howard wasnt around, to get mit to make sure they could be) and tony just HUGS him like its been years and they’ve known each other forever but he goes with it and hugs him back because maybe tony’s just more affectionate once he gets to know someone and rhodey is okay w that.
they get closer as the years go by and they graduate from mit together and they’re BEST friends and at the end of the year rhodey invites tony to spend new years eve w his family but tony cant bc howard is having some kind of gala starting at 5 because hes weird and dumb and tony hates it and he also isnt given the option of not going even though he doesnt want to but the entire way there howard drills into him about not fucking up and berates him for all the times he has in the past and when they get there tony is already just not feeling it so he’s like nope!! no!! i simply cannot!!
so he goes in and finds an exit thats in the back and he leaves and finds a fucking payphone of all things and he has rhodeys home number memorized for years now and he calls and someone he doesnt knoe answers and theres music in the background and voices and tony’s entire stomach is in his throat and his heart is sunken into his twisted gut because he just wanted one night where maybe he could smile next to his parents and feel like he fit with them but he couldnt have that and he asks to talk to rhodey and then he is and asks if its too late to accept his invite and rhodey is like yeah of course do u need my address bc its still only 5 pm and its a 2 hour drive between south philadelphia and manhattan so he’d make it with plenty of time before it got to midnight so yay
and tony is like. oh. hm. i dont know how to drive actually. that was a thing that no one ever thought to teach me even though i asked about it about ten million times. and rhodey is used to tony not knowing how to do things that most people their age can (see: the toast) and plus its not uncommon for people from new york to not drive anyway so he doesnt think anything of it and instead asks for tony’s address to come pick him up instead and they’d still make it back by like 9-9:30 so that would work too
and thats when tony is like. well.
about that.
he might be calling from a payphone.
on a random street corner.
and its kind of raining. and he’s cold. and he’s a bit dulled out from everything so he doesn’t really think about the fact that admitting this is going to lead to having to explain what happened and also why and that is happens often. but that doesnt matter because he kind of just wants to be with his best friend and not back at that gala with his dad right now.
rhodey is like,,, ok. ok. wheres a coffee shop nearby u can wait in. and tony thankfully is by a 24 hour one and tells him the name and the street corner its closest to and rhodey is like i’ll be there asap and tony goes and he waits.
a two hour drive turns into an hour and a half because rhodey is Worried™
but when he walks in tony goes from being all dulled out to being all HOLY SHIT because rhodey has a SPLIT LIP and he’s like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHAT THE FUCK WHAT
and rhodey’s like no no its good my uncle was having fun and trying to wrestle with me and he accidentally elbowed me its all good man dont worry about it
tony isnt used to accidentally being hurt tho so he’s still like hmmm but he takes rhodeys word on it and they head out and tony wont say what happened or why he was calling from a payphone ?? which btw tony literally only was able to do bc there happened to be dropped change on the ground because boy would not have change on him ok, but rhodeys like alright lets go with this for now
so they gets to the rhodes house and it is in full swing with family and extended family and adopted family bc they are 100% the family that just adopts the neighborhood kids and the people who have no one else and like ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends even after the relationship ends bc they still are family despite not dating whoever it was they had been dating in order to be introduced to them so its a LOT of people and tony is like. this is semi familiar in terms a lot of people but this is NOTHING like what he has ever seen before holy fucking SHIT
rhodey is just like oh u have a small family then? so ur used to smaller gatherings?
and tonys like wtf are gatherings
and rhodey is starting to get a feel for what might be wrong but just takes tony inside to get him changed because he’s not spending new years eve at the rhodes house in a fucking expensive suit ok
tony is completely out of his element and like he’s not the only white guy there bc again the rhodes adopt people and those people are of every race and nationally you can imagine but he just isnt used to the vibe there are people laughing and sitting close together and playing games and theres music playing but not like classy music its music people can dance to and are dancing to and the food isnt the food he’s used to at galas and shit and nothing is what he’s used to and he just sticks to rhodey’s side like a fucking lost puppy and tries his best not to look like an idiot when rhodey introduces him to people and a lot of them know who he is but dont judge him or assume shit about him bc obviously if he’s friends w rhodey then he’s a good guy and they want to know him and thats enough
but tony is v overwhelmed bc what the FUCK IS HAPPENING this is nothing like anything he has ever experienced EVER
so eventually rhodey can tell he’s getting overwhelmed and takes him inside and lets him have a breather and then asks him about whats going in and thats when rhodey learns about what tonys life at home is really like and. anger.
SO MUCH anger
because not only has every single assumption he has ever made about tony been proven wrong, but now he knows that the best person he knows has never been treated the way he deserves and has never known a true home and comfort and love and safety and
and he’s gonna fix it
and this is the first step
so he takes tony back out and they’re still just friends but this is the day they both quietly realize they might kind of definitely like each other as more because tony is still so confused by the fact that what he knows isnt the normal and overwhelmed by how much there is and how different it is but rhodey holds his hand as a grounding point and whenever it might be too much they move off to the side where they arent completely gone but its less hectic and a bit more quiet and its just nice
tony goes to rhodeys house for every holiday despite whatever howard says
rhodey decks howard the only time they ever meet before tonys parents die and he has the most shit eating grin on his face afterwards that tony cant help but lose his shit laughing his ass off
anyway i didnt mean to ramble for so long about that specific idea so i’ll end the ironhusbands ramble with this one last thought, which is as follows:
rhodey gets hurt in the air force at some point, and it isnt that bad tbh but he does have to go the hospital and shit and gets stitches or whatever idk i dont know what specifically happens i just think it’d be just bad enough that it takes him a few weeks to be able to go back to work but he’s not like OH GOD HURT yk?
but like stated above tony was scared and worried when rhodey told him he was gonna go into the air force so he hears about this and they’re probably like almost 30 at this point because they’re dumb and it takes them forever to get their heads out of their asses (i say this even though in the portal closed it takes them even longer but i digress) rhodey has like his mon his sister his niece visiting him and they were worried but they know hes fine so theyre just talking and in a good mood and then—
door slams open. tony stark enter stage left. disheveled suit, fresh from a meeting he definitely was not supposed to leave, having flown in from maibu the second he heard and then had happy drive him and then got impatient because of traffic and ended up sprinting like ten blocks while happy was like what the FUCK
of course rhodeys family are well aware that these idiots are desperately in love with each other so they’re just like lol ok and just leave the room while tony starts fretting over him like he’s about to die himself if he doesnt know if rhodey is okay and rhodey is like tony tony dude tones stop tony im okay tony stop it
until finally tony just fucking breaks down like full on tears in his eyes voice cracking hands clasped as he leans against rhodeys bed and tells him that he was so scared and he is so scared all the time whenever rhodey is out there because all he can think about is losing him and him getting hurt or dying and it’s maddening and this is when they get their heads out of their asses and kiss for the first time
(irony at its finest bc later when they are married and tony becomes iron man rhodey refuses to not have a suit of his own because if tony is going out there in a metal flying tin can then he isn’t going alone and wow what a power couple)
sambucky:
firstly i’m going to go post tfatws, but i’ll make a bullet point before going into it so if you wanna read up until that point you can but most of this will be random little headcanons based post tfatws
also it isnt like a whole plotline thing like the ironhusbands ones ended up being these ones are more random and kinda all over the place but loosely connected
update from after writing this: i lied
let me start by saying my interpretation of why they are the way they are in civil war is because of steve
thats not saying steve is the bad guy i mean to say that they’re jealous of each other because they thought that THEY were steve’s best friend who the fuck is THIS guy i dont want him here go away
children. they are children.
which i find very funny to imagine from sams pov because he literally is a licensed therapist and would 100% recognize why he’s acting how he is but he’s petty enough to do it anyway
and also he literally was helping steve track bucky down but i like to imagine that sam didnt think they’d ever really find him again and it’d just make him and steve like super mega best friends or something because hes a CHILD
and then from bucky’s pov steve goes through all this trouble to find him and protect him and then this random guy is acting like steve’s best friend and gets to sit in the front seat ??? bullshit. absolutely bullshit. worst thing ever. so stupid.
its so funny to me okay its SO funny
its like that schoolyard thing where your friend makes another friend and you hate it so much that you do something stupid like color on their drawing or put gum in their hair or whatever but they’re adults with 1. super soldier serum or 2. a superhero reputation/avengers status and suit with wings. so thats a thing.
post civil war i dont think they get much yk. because bucky is out in cryo and team cap is on the run and i doubt theyre able to return to wakanda much, if at all, and then it’s infinity war and then it’s endgame and after endgame there’s the aftermath and the aftermath is a mess
i like to think they have some moments before tfatws though. not many but enough for that slight foundation thats we can kind of see in episode 2 yk.
okay NOW it gets into post tfatws so!!
SO post tfatws everything is different because now they not only have spent all this time together, but they understand each other in a way that they didn’t before. in a way no one ever has. not even steve, who may have known them before, but he isn’t here anymore and he wouldn’t understand who they are now vs who they were before and it’s different.
bucky finds comfort in sam’s home town. sam finds comfort in watching bucky find a home there and he doesnt know why.
also sam treats redwing like a puppy and lets him fly around on his own and gets pet and stuff and bucky acts annoyed but the longer it happens you can tell he’s like “oh my god why is this thing endearing”
bucky has nightmares and sam knows this but bucky doesnt know that sam also has nightmares until one night when they’re still in sams home town and they’re staying on the boat because sams nephews are having a sleepover with some friends and they didnt want to get in the way or smth idk i just want an excuse for them to be on the boat and somewhat secluded from people but bucky already woke up from his nightmare and is out on the deck to get some fresh out and then oop
sam havin a nightmare too
because fucking of COURSE sam has nightmares he has been through some shit too!! not being able to catch riley and everything that happened since meeting steve and thanos and he turned to dust alone in the bushes ok like yes everyone that died were traumatized undoubtedly (peter my baby boy baby im so sorry that you got the worst of it) but bucky was around people but sam was laying on the ground and probably just watched his hands as he disappeared and he was alone and like. jesus christ ok.
and then steve trusted him with every weight and everything that comes with the shield not knowing how much more the shield has when he gave it to a black man and just like he has nightmares everyone in marvel does its a fact
but bucky finds out like this and he is shocked even though he realizes he probably should have been able to guess that this is a thing and he knows so much more about sam now than he ever did but this is how he learns more. he learns about riley. he learns so much.
sometimes bucky has those like “oh shit” moments where he’s like “maybe i was kind of a dick to someone who didnt deserve it” and he already had one of those with sam about the shield but he has another one because he assumed shit about sam when they were being all childish and jealous about someone else being friends with steve but like fuck
steve and sam probably got it
the not catching someone. the way it felt to try and to reach out and to miss and to have to choice but to watch as they fell.
what’s different is that steve got bucky back. he got to have that relief, eventually, even if there was the pain of knowing bucky had been taken by hydra, but at least he knew bucky had made it.
sam didn’t have that. riley didnt make it.
therefore, bucky has his “oh shit”
and bucky was already going soft around the edges with sam (as clearly seen in the last two episodes of tfatws, ESPECIALLY the finale because like did tou SEEZ ALL THE HEART EYES oh my GOD) but it’s this that really makes something in him melt and he just. he loses the last remnants of whatever tension or resentment or whatever negative feeling he may have been clutching onto.
there wasnt much left. but now theres none. now its all washed away.
its gone, and he gets it.
sam is a licensed therapist and he knew the reason he was being all dumb and childish and jealous with bucky was because steve had another best friend but also because steve’s other best friend was the guy that had been a big factor in how him and steve understood each other and how they bonded and it
it had kind of felt like they lost part of that when they found bucky again in civil war and he kind of wanted to blame bucky for it even though he didnt actually blame him at all so all it translated to was that dumb kind of jealous thing instead
but now it’s just them. its sam and bucky and it isnt steve and it isnt about steve and it shouldnt be because its about them. its about the boat and the water and the way they sit and watch the waves while the silence settles over them and the way that bucky says, “im sorry.”
its the way sam says, “me too.”
and bucky says, “you dont have to be.”
its the way they stay there until sarah comes to get them for breakfast and sams nephews convince them to play with them and their friends and the world is still shit and there is so much to do but
but its this and its them and that can wait
it can wait
they can take their time if they want to
maybe they’ve earned that much, at least
(it isn't a fast development because they're a complicated pair and there's so much to the two of them that need to figured out individually before they can even realize how well they work together, but the steps are so much easier knowing that they have the other in their corner and bucky knows that sam's home town is a place he's welcome to go and sam helps him make his own dreary little apartment into something that feels real and tangible with a bed and a couch and when they've become something that resembles stable and they've found a balance and they're okay, that's when they realize that maybe they can try for the more that sometimes bubbles under their skin and that they started to think about the more they spend time together. the warmth that sam feels every time he sees bucky playing games with his nephew and the smile that bucky has to fight to hide and still can't fully suppress when sam stands tall and proud with the shield in its rightful place, and it takes time, it takes work, it takes carefully placed bricks to build the foundation they need, but they get there, and when they do...
when they do, they're already happy, and it just makes them happier, and that's what makes it so much better.
that's what makes it worth the wait.)
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sanchoyo · 3 years
Text
danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?
see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3
-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.
-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...
-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question
-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)
-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.
-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*
-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.
-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!
-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...
-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.
-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?
-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.
-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.
-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.
-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?
-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.
-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)
-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao
-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.
-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...
-is he....
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-you know....
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.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)
-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!
-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!
-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.
-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)
-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.
-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...
-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.
-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...
-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.
-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)
-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/
-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize
-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.
-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)
-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...
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-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)
-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!
-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.
-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!
-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(
-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!
-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)
-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.
-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!
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izzyliker · 4 years
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hey - this is one of the mods of the bi jon project. we don't actually dislike or disagree with pan jon at all, we just want to make a project focused on and celebrating bisexuality. our carrd is a bit rambling, but frankly we were trying our best/overcompensating to try and make sure people didn't misunderstand us and do - well, this. our intentions are good, and it's really kind of disenheartening to see all the hate we've gotten for what was meant to be a positive project. (1)
you're under no obligation to answer these, but i saw some of your posts in the tag and felt like reaching out because you did give us even the tiniest bit of slack in good faith. honestly, if you have any advice about what in our carrd is so overwhelmingly bad, we'd be happy to hear it. we've been trying to respond to the overwhelming amount of criticism we've got in a positive way, and take peoples' suggestions. (2)
as for why 'no anti-antis' was at the bottom of our rules list, it's legitimately bc we were trying so hard to be preventative about this negativity that we forgot to add it when we first posted the blog, and just remembered later. again, you're under no obligation to answer these, i just feel like no one's really actually letting us defend ourselves/are taking things in as bad faith a way as possible. (3)
im not exactly sure how the posts showed up in the tag bc ive been very purposefully not tagging them, also ive blocked all of you back (not sure why you blocked me if you actually want feedback, so it seems more like you just want free positive pr and not actual feedback) so its unlikely youll see whatever it is that i reply to this but whatever. 
the issues have all been repeatedly brought up to you so i dont really see how me repeating all of them once again could help. when i last looked at the cardd the things that stood out immediately included. 
pitting ace & bi identities and people against each other REPEATEDLY,  
starting off with a guilt trippy tone and maintaining it throughout (in my experience this is the #1 best way to receive backlash because people do not want to participate in events where you feel like youre being guilted into it, which going into scrutinizing detail over there not being enough content and passing judgement onto authors or artists over it is something that comes across as guilt trippy.),
repeatedly equating asexuality with sex repulsion (not to get into the misleading information about modteam aspec identity breakdowns, since you claimed that 3/4 of the team are aspec, which is technically correct, but what you didnt say was that only one is acespec. surely you know that [allosexual] aro and [alloromantic] ace are not interchangeable) and calling using biromantic over bisexual a “misunderstanding” of the identity as if how to define romantic vs sexual attraction (how to divide, if or if not to divide, use interchangeably different labels) isnt a deeply personal choice ace people who experience romantic attraction make, 
claiming that bisexual jon is canon (he isn’t. this is why people are suspicious of anti-other mspec identities sentiments. which theyre right, if youll be so kind as to stick around til the last paragraph) and repeatedly implying that the reason there isnt “enough” content centering bi jon because the aces are simply unable to not fixate on his asexuality (again, pitting identities against each other),
making the banned ship list way needlessly confusing and including ships that dont even include jon to it, which simply comes across as some kind of a list of bad ships, idk. a way to bypass this would simply be to say “we are looking for portrayals of healthy relationships!” and that couldve just been it. if you felt that that wouldnt exclude specific ships (eg. jondaisy that a lot of people write as a relationship between trauma survivors who have done very bad things trying to get better and learning to trust each other) it is possible to simply say “the modteam is squicked[/triggered] by ships with daisy/elias/peter and we’d like to read all of the works submitted so we’re asking not to receive submissions with those ships.” hating ships is literally completely normal but making rules hard to parse is going to attract questions, especially when the implication is that ships are excluded on the grounds of morality, and a blatant power difference ship (jonelias) is equated with jondaisy, which is from what ive seen almost exclusively shown to be a relationship between equals. that makes people EXTREMELY confused about where the line is. thats why youre getting so many questions about this.  
in general the carrd was spotty, guilt trippy, and needlessly moralizing where it definitely did not need to be. the key to getting people to engage without getting backlash is to make the event seem fun. when your carrd is filled with stuff about unrelated negative stuff people are not going to think it’s a fun event at all. 
and none of this even gets into the fact that at least one of the mods has a history of open hostility against pan people. i heard through the grapevine that he has since made a fauxpology about it, but frankly it already shone through in the language used in the event descriptions. its extremely hard to take any of this is good faith when it is easy to see that one of the organizers is quite fucking clear about thinking pansexuality is biphobic and the carrd is or at least used to be full of anti-pan (and other mspec identity) dogwhistles, and is notorious in some of the tma fic author circles for being extremely fucking nasty about trans men writing fic he doesn’t like to the point of pretending that we’re all cis people (in case youre not keeping track that is misgendering us by implication) because he doesn’t like it. i think some of you (or maybe all of you? idk) in general could stand to examine whether your engagements and participations in the fandom have been at all about having fun or adding positivity to anything, or simply making posts about what other people are doing wrong. it seems that every post i see from anyone in this group is guilt trippy and authoritative, and sadly this translated directly into the event. 
when youre, say, a trans man whose first touch to one of the mods was a post about how fic where trans men have piv sex with cis men is hurting him personally and making it a moral issue and not a matter of a simple preference to the point where he feels comfortable making claims about the trans men (and transmasc nonbinary people) writing fic about trans characters re: their gender or whether theyre fetishizing trans men, your willingness to engage in good faith with an event hosted by him that features numerous red flags is not going to be unconditional. 
im sorry to hear that it has been bad for your mental health, and idk whats fucking going on with this event anymore, but my good faith interpretations have diminished significantly since i saw the shit tmc specifically has been saying about pansexual people and pansexuality as an identity label. i have no clue where the rest of you stand but tmc has repeatedly, consistently shown himself to be unable to act in good faith towards anyone other than people who agree with him.  
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janekfan · 4 years
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ive been Searching and Craving for any scenario/canon divergent au where jon and tim make up because jon shows tim thats hes just as much a victim as anyone else and tim is just like... ah. so we're both assholes. and jon insists that tim didnt do anything wrong (and obviously its all very whumpy and hurt/comforty). basically just... tim and jon making up because tim wants to after jon tugs at his heartstrings enough (because im a sucker for the whole "whatve i done" bit)
Here we go!! Sorry these are taking so long but I’m still working on prompts!!!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26972698/chapters/67878991#workskin
Too Much Chapter 2!
Watching Martin remove the evidence of panic by carefully, slowly, swiping a damp flannel over Jon’s skin, Tim continued holding the cold pack in place. The man between them made a sound, nondescript, shifting enough that his lips parted with a soft sigh as he settled.
“He’s made a right mess of these.” Martin lamented, gingerly lifting one hand to examine the heavy bandages, soiled with fresh blood and coming undone. Not altogether certain he wanted to know what was hidden away beneath, Tim stayed silent. “Would you mind fetching the first aid kit while I get rid of these?” He used the time away to take a deep breath, attempting to gather his rampant thoughts now that he was roped into fixing up their boss. There was always the possibility of giving him the kit and hightailing it out of that place and never setting foot near document storage again but before he realized what he’d done he’d accumulated other supplies he figured they might need and the relief in Martin’s eyes when he slipped back into the room was palpable. Jon’s hands were bare, blisters laid over blisters, broken and bleeding sluggishly from torn welts, one palm layered over with a nasty burn. Tim couldn’t help the noise torn from his throat in sympathy as the walls he’d built around himself began to crumble under the weight of Jon’s wounds--and he wasn’t even the one to bear them! Jon had acquired more scars, more shadows in the gaunt hollows carved into his body by his bones since Prentiss. It was like laying eyes on a stranger, or opening his own and finally seeing what his negligent ignorance had truly cost.
Were these marks, this pain, not proof that Jon had every right to be scared? Paranoid? To suspect them? When it was his own “friends” raising hands violently against him?
“What. Martin, what happened?” He accepted the water, easing Jon’s arm over the edge of the bed and doing Tim the kindness of not reminding him that he’d never cared to know before.
“I couldn’t tell you what caused most of this, but you know. Daisy.” He swallowed, eyes narrowing as he dabbed away the worst of the scarlet slicking his skin and Tim saw red at the reminder. How dare she touch him. “Hush now, you’re alright.” Jon’s arm twitched, an aborted attempt to tug his hand away from Martin’s surely painful ministrations. “Just cleaning these up.”
“Hnn…” Saltwater-soaked lashes fluttered and damn his body’s reactions but Tim was at his side on the cot before he could blink and wholly unsure of what to do now that he was there, settling on running fingers through tangled curls, teasing out the knots as Martin worked. Clouded and slightly crossed, Jon’s glazed brown eyes peered up at him, through him, blinking slow, and Tim could feel the heat of his fever under his palms.
“Hey, bud.” Surprising himself with his own softness, Tim continued combing through his hair. “Close your eyes, boss. Marto’s fixing you right up.”
“Hur’s.” Badly slurred and tinged with vulnerability he wasn’t used to anymore, Jon’s voice sent a chill racing up Tim’s spine.
“I know.” He said anyway. “It won’t soon.” Trust and exhaustion won out, dragging bruised lids closed. “Martin.” Tim didn’t look up, tracing silver strands, so many, with the fingertips. “I would like to know. Please.”
Martin hummed, finished up the first hand, the worst hand, and cradled it over Jon’s stomach in a poor attempt at elevation before starting on the next one.
“I haven’t gotten much out of Jon--not because he won’t tell me!” He amended, remembering the promise Jon had made to be honest with them and clearly worried it would make Tim angry again if he thought he was keeping secrets. “He’s just. I mean.”
“I understand.” After leaving Elias’ office, whatever tenacity and fortitude Jon managed to scrape together after his ordeal with Daisy and Basira had faded quickly. Even Tim wasn’t able to ignore how bad off he was, more along the lines of being unable to explain than lacking any desire.
“I know she, she hit him. He’s bruised all over. Clocked him with her gun I assume, to leave him concussed--I still can’t believe I didn’t notice sooner.”
“It’s alright. We’ve all been. Preoccupied.” Some of them only with themselves.
“He was filthy, covered in dirt and I think bl’blood? Not his. Or, not all of it I think.” Martin rubbed his own neck thoughtfully, tracing a path that mirrored the red grin carving up Jon’s throat. “I think.” He looked into Tim’s eyes, haunted. “I, I overheard them saying he’d been made to d’dig a grave.”
“His grave.” There was no real proof, not yet. But it felt right. And Tim felt sick. “His hands.”
“The burn is bad, I don’t know how he got it.” A crease formed between Martin’s knit brows. “I. Tim.” He sighed. “You’ve been so furious with him.” He dragged both hands down his face. “Jon’s doing his best. Please, you have to believe that.”
“I think I’m beginning to.” He’d yet to stop his detangling. Jon liked when people he trusted played with his hair, especially when he wasn’t feeling well. Unbidden and effervescent, memories rose to the surface of Tim’s mind, each a different moment, beads of time strung on delicate silk strands. Sasha. Sasha, whose true face, true voice, had been written over and worn, her hands on Jon’s shoulders, working out the tension he carried there despite his complaints. Tim himself draping a cardigan over him where he slumped forward on his desk in Research when he succumbed to sleep. A rare moment at someone’s apartment, Jon three drinks in, flushed bright red and ridiculous, throwing himself into Tim’s lap and nuzzling his stomach until he got what he wanted; hands in his hair, on his back, honest to god cuddles. The embarrassment in the morning would paint him vivid with blush and he would accept the painkillers and tea with a shy grin.
That Jon was still in there.
Right?
For the first time in his career Tim chose to come into work early, heading immediately to doc storage to find Jon curled up against Martin, ruddy face squished against his chest and arm slung over his waist as though he’d recently been clinging there.
And if this had been another time, another universe, he would have teased them both, but the shadows under their eyes were beginning to match.
“We had a hard night.” Martin yawned hugely and Tim caught a quick glimpse of glassy brown at the movement but Jon passed out again in the next second. “Nightmares. You remember Crew?” Tim nodded. “Explains the vertigo. He’s going to want to work.” Martin’s palm found its way to the back of Jon’s head, tucked him under his chin as he exhaled, slow and measured.
“And you want him to rest.”
“He won’t.”
He didn’t.
But the dizziness kept him in his office for the most part and Tim helped keep an eye on him, checking up regularly, awkwardly. It was almost like old times. Except Jon was careful not to speak. Not now that he might force answers out of someone. Not now that he might be hurt because of it. Jon was smart. He tried to remember the things he learned because he only seemed to learn the hard way and right now he was trying to figure out Tim while Tim was trying to figure out himself, wary of the change towards him, confused when instead of lashing out, he asked if he needed anything.
“N’no, thank you, Tim.”
“It’s no trouble.” But it was physically painful to watch the gears turn as Jon balanced the possibility of pissing him off with how uncomfortable he was in this situation. “I’ll check back later, yeah?”
“Uh. Y’yeah. Yes. I mean, yes.” Nervously, he shifted between folders. “Of c’course.”
The day dragged and Jon’s fever and groggy exhaustion lingered, kept barely in check by Martin plying him with the painkillers and fever reducers because he refused A&E. It was frustrating, even if he was looking somewhat improved. When they caught him asleep it was often in the throes of a taxing nightmare. He was a shadow in his attempts to avoid them all, to focus on work, and now that Tim was paying attention he didn’t like how Basira was so cold, how Daisy made Jon flinch on purpose, how Melanie went out of her way to collide with him in the narrow hallways. How he was slight enough, unsteady enough that it sent him into the wall.
How he did nothing about it except murmur apologies and move past them as quick as he could.
Jon was back to pushing himself too hard, not bothering to ask for help because he’d never gotten any before so it wasn’t worth bothering with it now. He was alone. Deserted by everyone except for Martin--and oh the way his expression lit up at the sight of him. How soft his voice became when he thanked him for the tea. Tim knew Martin couldn’t see it yet, or wouldn’t let himself realize, but Jon was taken with him. Smitten. And already believed beyond a doubt that he had no worth. As prickly as Jon could be there was so much love in him just vying for a way out.
How could Tim have forgotten that?
Tim paced the length of the archives three times before heading back to check on Jon, alarmed when the office was empty. Worry, both familiar and unfamiliar, twined its way around his heart. He'd watched as the afternoon hours slipped by and Jon became worse and Tim didn’t bother asking anyone he came across; they didn’t care, he wasn’t supposed to care. But there weren’t many places Jon would go and Tim found him in the breakroom stabilizing himself on the sink. He didn’t react, didn’t turn, didn’t seem to know anyone was behind him, and Tim could make out shivery, deliberate breaths. Jon let go, lifting a hand dazedly to his forehead and staggering backwards such that Tim had to steady him.
“Whoa there, Boss.” Softly, quietly, Tim knew his head was still pounding more often than not no matter how adamant his denial. It didn’t stop Jon from flinching like he’d been struck or attempting to whirl around and only making it all that much worse as eyes filled with fear rolled back into his head and Tim had to catch him outright, lowering him to the floor and pillowing his shoulders in his lap. Unconsciously, he laid a palm over his overwarm forehead, dragging fingers back through damp strands rhythmically and wondering how he’d react to waking up with Tim staring down at him. They were dancing around each other, or at least Tim was. Jon couldn’t do much more than sit at his desk in what amounted to pyjamas and pretend to work in an attempt to wedge some normalcy back into his life.
“What happened?” At least now Martin’s inquiry wasn’t accusatory as he knelt beside them and checked over Jon himself. “How long?”
“Minute. Maybe two? He, uh. I surprised him and when he turned…” he trailed off, gesturing with a sigh.
“Ma’tin…” nothing more than a small breath of awareness in recognition of his voice, eyes still closed.
“You should be at your desk.” Lightly scolding.
“Nn...was col’...tea…” Tim met Martin’s eyes with worry at the barely coherent jumble of syllables caught on his sluggish tongue and he held up a hand, signaling him to wait.
“What’re we going to do with you, hm?”
“...Dunno…” He’d failed to understand the gentle ribbing for what it was, instead answering honestly, tearfully, and it tugged on Tim’s heartstrings. Martin chuckled kindly to ease the sting, moving forward to lift his weight off from Tim and standing still to let Jon wind a hand loosely into his jumper, hanging on for dear life with a gasp.
“You sound tired.”
“Mmyeah...tire’...” And that discordant admission alone was enough to cause alarm, doubly so when his body lost all rigidity in Martin’s hold.
“Martin--”
“Shh, Tim. He’s alright.” Protectiveness urged Tim to follow them back to document storage. Concern made him sit down before Martin asked. “Stay with him? I don’t want him to forget and wander off again. I’m gonna get that tea and something for the fever.” Tim supported his chin with a hand, elbow digging sharply into the top of his knee, and watched Jon sleep. With his eyes, he traced invisible constellations over the worm scars dotting his skin and connected their lines to the ink dark splash of lashes twitching as he dreamed. “What’re you thinking about?”
“How much running I’ve been doing.”
“Mm.”
“How much easier it was to ignore all this if I just hated Jon instead. Blamed him for it.” He lifted his fingers in a bitter and general indication of their unreasonably bad situation. “He’s made mistakes. We all have. And his are the only ones I’m not willing to forgive.” Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes, stung. “Why is that?” His skin blushed with heat when his voice broke on a sob and before Martin could speak they were interrupted.
“Head’spounding…” He could barely keep his eyes open.
“Ah, I’m sorry, love, I know, here,” he was like a rag doll when Martin lifted him. “This’ll help.” Tim watched the ease with which Martin navigated Jon. All sweet and kind, steadying his hands when they proved too shaky to hold the cup, testing his temperature with the inside of his wrist when Jon was distracted with swallowing down the medicine.
“Shouldn’t do this.” Whispered, lost and undone, as Martin tucked him in, gripping back tightly when Jon grew dizzy with the change. “M’sorry.”
“You say that too often, Boss.”
“Hush, both of you.” To Jon, “we can all talk later, when you’re feeling better. It’s okay to need help. It’s okay to rest.” And while he didn’t look convinced, he was helpless against the drag of that heavy, insistent tide of exhaustion.
“Never liked to owe people, our Jon.” Martin sighed, frustrated.
“It’s not a transaction. I wish he’d trust that I only want to help.” Tim snickered ruefully as Martin tucked stray salt and pepper strands behind Jon’s ears.
“He’s always been suspicious of decency.”
“That’s not right.” There was a lot wrong with it, and far too much to solve at this moment.
“You look knackered, Martin. Go home.” He needed caring for after keeping them all together like he’d done. “I’ve got it from here.”
“I don’t want to ask that of you.”
“You’re not asking, Marto.”
“Tim--”
“I need to. I. I need to do this.”
Tim was worried that the only reason Martin left him here alone was because he was too tired to spend another night here keeping an eye on the both of them. He only had himself to blame when it came to the loss of trust.
It was no secret his dislike of Jon.
He hadn’t forgotten his treatment of him just the other day. Yanking him up off the ground and shouting at him, blaming him for his confusion and unsteadiness, for worrying Martin while he’d been the one ill and frightened and unmoored on the dusty floor. A mournful cry jolted him out of his musings, and the nightmare didn’t sound kind, wrenching Jon awake and leaving him panting, narrow chest heaving, eyes wide and unfocused in the dim.
“Hey.” Soft and quiet, it didn’t stop Jon from jumping in surprise, nearly swooning when he jerked his head in the direction of his voice. “Back with me?”
“Tim.” Real surprise, he blinked hard, trying to clear his bleary vision. “Yeah. S’sorry.” Jon offered him a sheepish quirk of his lips.
“I’m the one who needs to apologize, Jon.” He swallowed thickly and Tim could hear the click in his throat, somewhere behind the bandage hiding that yawning red grin from sight.
“Wh’what?”
“I’ve treated you unfairly.”
“No, no, Tim. You. You had every right! I was out of line and suspected the worst with no proof and didn’t trust yo--” Jon was trying to get up, ignoring how it had to hurt, and when Tim made to stop him, he flinched in real fear and backed himself into the corner. “S’sorry. I. It’s, it isn’t you, I swear.” Guilt wrapped around Tim’s heart like a thorny vine at his stammering apologies, at the way Jon laughed at himself and scrubbed his face with the back of a bandaged hand, staring up at the ceiling as new tears pooled in his eyes. “A lot’s h’happened.” When he closed them, the damp rolled down his cheeks into the grey at his temple. “I,I,I know you don’t w’want to hear it. But I, I don’t have anything else left t’to offer and I’m so s’sorry.” Jon tucked up his knees and buried his tear-stained face in the blankets he pulled around himself. Scared and small and awaiting derision. Tim edged closer.
"Jon.” He reached out to touch and thought better of it. “I think. I think I'm ready to hear it now." Consumed by constant fear and torment, run ragged for months and months, when Jon risked glancing up at him Tim could finally look past his anger and see him. Flushed with fever, thin and drawn, bruised and beaten and burned.
But still Jon.
Still Jon, terrified of the kind of help he'd been taught by experience not to ask for. Not to accept. Not to trust. Not to need.
“No, n’no, Tim. It’s.” He sniffed, tried to offer Tim a watery smile. “M’not feeling w’well, heh. You know how I, how I am.”
“I know you don’t take care of yourself.” He continued before Jon could interrupt. “I know I’ve left you to deal with this alone.” Indeed, at the very first sign of trouble, Tim abandoned him to his own devices. “I understand why it’s been difficult to trust me.”
“Not just you.” Tim had to strain to hear him, voice tiny, wavering with misery. “It’s so hard to trust, I have to, to think about it, choose it, don’t I. Talk myself out of how a’afraid I am all the t’time. I can’t even trust myself, my words. I. They. It’s easier to not speak at all, if it can be helped. And I try. But. Tim.” Fraught, brown irises nearly swallowed by black pupil bored into him, begged him to listen, to see. “I’m a monster.”
“Jon--” He tugged at messy curls, ignoring the pain it had to cause, the spots of blood, and if Jon would let him, he would need to fix the wrappings after this. He’d folded into himself even tighter, rocking himself just slightly in an attempt at comfort.
“If everyone is saying it, it must be true. But I’m trying. I promise, Tim, I promise. I was hoping it counted for something, anything. I can’t. I.” He broke off, attempting to pull himself together, face contorted and when he noticed Tim’s stricken expression, stumbled on with half-thought out reassurances. “I, I won’t stop! T’trying, that is. I, I, I want to, to be better. I don’t want to hurt anyone. It’s not about counting, it’s about doing the right thing. Or something close to--it never seems to work out, I’m not. I keep doing the wrong things so I know--but I p’promise--and besides, D’Daisy’s watching, if you’re worried, heh.” He laughed, a little broken thing, tears glittering in his eyes. “She’ll put me d’down. If that makes you feel any better.”
And god how could he think Tim wanted that? Jon, living with the knowledge that any mistakes he made could lead to--
Hanging over his head. Just awaiting collapse.
“That’s. Jon, I don’t want her to do that.”
“Oh. Did.” Tim realized the pause was an attempt at managing his powers of compulsion. “Did you want to? Instead I mean?” Tim recoiled in horror at the genuine curiosity, the dull acceptance that they all might be waiting for their chance. Numbness flooded his fingers. And even though Tim knew Jon was trying to use the right words, the ones that would make him feel better, he was furious.
“How could you think that?!” Jon held up his raggedly bandaged hands, the blisters from digging his own grave and who knows what else hidden from view.
“I, I’m sorry, I. You’re right, that was stupid of me. I’m sorry, Tim, I’m sorry, I--” Tim cut him off by sweeping him into an embrace, pressing his face into his shoulder. He was little more than bones rattling around in a scarred and ruined skin, shaking in his arms, his own held away, stiff. Dear lord, what had he done? “T’Tim? I, I’m sorry I’ve upset you.”
“Stop it, Jon.” And he collapsed, spent from his outpouring, breath loud in Tim’s ear. “Just stop.” Tentative, Jon wrapped him up in return. “I’m going to do better.”
“You don’t--”
“I do. And I am.” Damp soaked into his sleeve despite the silence with which Jon sobbed, little more than uneven, ardent gasping as they clung to each other.
“B’but.” He pressed closer, starved for it. “I.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’ve been so afraid.” Murmured against his shirt, Tim could feel the shapes of his words, the trembling of his lips.
“I’m sorry.”
“Are you. You mean. If, if you--I couldn’t stand it. If it wasn’t real.” Desperately, he whispered, thick with tears. “Don’t think I’d survive losing you again.” Too much loss. Too much all around and not one time had Tim thought about who he still had.
“I’m going to help you.” Tim realized then he’d been crying as well. “Like I should have from the start of this mess.” Gently, he pulled him away, took his damaged hands. “Let me get these fixed up. If Martin sees them, he’ll have both our heads on pikes.” For a moment, Tim was worried it was too soon, that Jon would need to hide this vulnerability from him, and he held his breath, until he nodded, just once.
It would take time, but they’d made a start.
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