#I THINK I DID A GOOD JOB WITH MY INTERPRETATION OF THIS OCTOPUS

[sketchingstars03]

I’m holding ST Nightmare like this

I had to

you stretched him

[starknife-starmimi]

Hello again and it's good to see you.

This is New Year anon back from the depths of hell I think? I've been working a summer job so the heat is what I'll be considering hell. If the angry confessions post is still up for debate please do either 3, 7, 8, or 10? Later down the line I might give it a shot with my own interpretation through the asks as well (if I have some time to breathe) but yeah ty if do.

Welcome back! It's nice to see you in my ask box again! I hope everything went well at your summer job!

I did prompt 3 and this is honestly one of the best things I have ever written so I hope you enjoy it! You're very welcome and thank you for the prompt! If you end up doing any in the asks I will be happy to read and share them! Now on with the angst!

[ AO3 Link ]

Doctor Starline proudly supervised the Eggperial City from one of its many towers. He had won and successfully conquered the Eggman Empire as his own, now more than ever his world domination would be inevitable. Once Surge and Kit finish their heroic inspirations the cycle that has plagued mobius for years on end will finally be under his control and his only.

“ So this is what it was all for? ”

The platypus gently fidgeted with one of the cuffs of Eggman’s iconic jacket which he now wore as his own personal trophy. Now it was obviously quite oversized for him, but he could have it tailored later. Oh, how far Starline had come. Nothing could stop nor distract him now, he truly was on cloud nine.

A familiar scratched voice echoed into the room.

Starline swiftly turned to see Mimic entering the room, taking in the tower’s futuristic interior. 

Out of all of his former allies that could’ve returned, it was the one who not only threatened to take his life, but turned his entire team against him out of a lack of trust. Starline would have never expected Mimic of all individuals to come crawling back, likely to finish what he started, to kill him.

“ I thought you were smarter than this, Mimic. I really did, but it seems you want more than ever to finish what you've started. ”

Starline harshly spoke, activating the Tricore without hesitation. He wasn’t going to flee this time, not after everything he has worked for. The doctor wasn’t going down now.

Mimic’s headtufts quickly twitched to the response just in time for him to realize Starline charging towards him for the first hit. Yet reflexes were on the octopus’s side as his tentacles quickly stopped Starline’s attack, tangleling and tightening around his arms until he couldn’t push forward, or step back.

“ This isn’t what it looks like, Doc! ”

“ Oh sure, this doesn’t at all look like an assassination attempt! ”

Starline mocked.

“ Do you really think I would’ve announced my presence if I was here to kill you? ”

Mimic asked, tussling against Starline’s attempts to escape his suctioned grip.

Starline had to admit, Mimic's lack of stealth upon entry was quite out of character for him, but Mimic was also a manipulator. A more tame approach could have easily been made in hopes he would let his guard down. That would’ve given Mimic the perfect opportunity to strike.

“ Do you really think I’m going to fall for that? ”

Starline snapped as the Tricore’s strength allowed him to pull himself out from Mimic’s grasp. Finally free, Starline attempted to kick Mimic, determined to inject him with the neurotoxins in his heel spurs.

Yet Mimic grabbed Starline’s leg before he could experience the impact, quickly tossing Starline off of his feet before grabbing him from the ground and shoving him against the wall. A tentacle quickly wrapped around one of Starline’s heels and lifted it off the ground preventing him from trying to kick again.

Starline deactivated the Tricore, hoping to give Mimic the illusion that he had won.

“ And here I thought you had moved on from the events of Eggnet Hub, considering how quickly you had moved on after you killed your old team, but I shouldn’t be surprised that you spent months tracking me down just so you could find me. ”

“ Do you not hear how fucking paranoid you sound right now?! ”

“ What? Isn’t that exactly what you did? ”

“ No… Well actually yes, but not to fucking exterminate you! For fuck’s sake if I was going to actively seek someone to kill at this point it probably be Eggman just to get him off my back for good. ”

Mimic paused, taking a split second to look Starline up and down.

“ But it seems you’ve already done that for me. ”

“ I suppose that means you owe me. ”

Starline sharply joked before reactivating the Tricore in order to punch Mimic in the face. 

“ OW! For fuck’s sake- You bastard! ”

With the assassin off of him Starline quickly made distance between them.

“ I just want to talk! ”

Mimic yelled, truly beginning to lose his patience with the platypus. Not only had he wasted literal months just trying to track Starline down, but he practically risked his life getting in here only for the scientist to not let him get a word in.

“ And I have gratefully enjoyed this little chat of ours! Though I have more important things to do than deal with your pesky shenanigans. ”

Starline sassed with a smile before snapping his wedded fingers, commanding a troop of Eggpawns to storm into the room and surround the shapeshifting intruder.

“ You know I can’t help but feel sorry that you didn’t place more trust in me back then. I had considered keeping you around, folding you into my masterplan, but it seems now I have no other choice than to cut you out of it… permanently. ”

Starline said as he watched his Eggpawns shuffle and strangle in order to grab Mimic, let alone keep him held.

“ Well maybe if you hadn’t rambled on a damn recording about how you were going to kill us, maybe you would’ve gotten your way. ”

“ And maybe if you had placed more faith in me back then, you wouldn’t have gone searching through my computer. ”

Mimic attempted to squirm loose from the robotic grip, only to freeze once he felt the edge of a gun against his mantle. Fear finally flooded him. He was going to die over this, wasn’t he? No… Not yet.

Starline strolled back over to Mimic, gently cupping his head up in his webbed hand with a smug grin.

“ It truly is a shame, Mimic. What a great thing you could’ve become if you had just stuck around. ”

“ Well, I’m sorry I fell in love with you, okay? But it happened and I can’t do shit about it! ”

Mimic had snapped without further thought, desperate to keep his life.

Starline’s face shocked blank, like a computer facing an error. At first, he couldn’t believe it. How could Mimic of all people fall for him? He couldn’t possibly be his type, right? Sure, he hadn’t been afraid to mess with the short-tempered assassin back when they worked together. It was entertaining to watch Mimic become flustered and annoyed over his occasional flirts when no one else was around to witness, but he had never expected those teases to maintain a lasting effect.

Mimic’s face fell into a similar shocked expression yet more cowardly, he couldn’t believe he had fucking said that. A wave of misery drowned Mimic’s mind as he slipped his head out of Starline’s hand, attempting to bury himself in his cloak. Just waiting for the Eggpawn’s firearm to shoot. Then this month's worth of suffering would end. It was all going to be for nothing anyways.

“ You… What? ”

Starline finally asked, his voice now soft and hushed.

Mimic didn't respond, only muttering curses under his raspy breath. He was more vulnerable now than he'd ever been. It was weak, it was sickening. This overwhelming fear and sorrow, like a child lost in a storm. He hated it, this feeling, this whole situation. He should've never come back. The one time he let his emotions take hold of him and now it was going to cost his reputation and his life. He had ruined everything he had going for him.

Starline waved his hand a couple times, queuing the Eggpawns to drop Mimic and leave the room. When Mimic didn't get up from the ground, Starline kneeled down in front of him.

Deep down, there was a small part of Starline that feared this was a trap, but this vulnerability is something he had never seen Mimic display before. Trap or truth, it was intriguing.

Yet the longer Mimic remained silent, the more time it gave Starline to reflect. He could never remember why he had exactly flirted with Mimic back then. It was probably just to get under his skin, some selfish entertainment… or being fired by Eggman… Either way, Mimic had never returned those words and gestures, only snapping and cursing at him. Sure, it did fluster him back then but the doctor always thought that blush was out of embarrassment than interest. It could have even been a mixture of both for all he knew.

A light chuckle left his bill, Starline couldn’t believe he might have actually swoon Mimic into falling for him considering how persistent the octopus was in hating him. Though it wasn’t all his doing, not likely. The more he remembered, the more he could recall how much he had found himself missing Mimic after the events at the Eggnet Hub. How foolish was that? Missing a man who ought to slit your throat. Yet he had, and deep down he still did. Starline had just managed to bury himself so deep in his work that he forgot about his emotions, his feelings. They were nothing but a distraction back then anyways, but now, he was starting to reconsider.

“ Why didn’t you return sooner? ”

Mimic’s head perked up from his cloak. It felt as if the whole room was changing, one minute he was being held at gunpoint for intruding, next he was being asked why he didn’t intrude sooner. He should’ve been dead by now. What was going on?

“ I tried, but you decided to start running around like a headless clucky after the group split. It was near impossible to find you, and that's saying something coming from me. ”

He answered, still on the sharpest edge of fear.

Meanwhile, the doctor knew he wasn’t exactly wrong, Starline had been moving from base to base in order to keep anyone from tracking him down, though it was clear to tell that hadn’t exactly worked.

“ Well it all doesn’t matter much now, does it? You’re here now. ”

Starline said, continuing to soften his voice as he stood up and lended Mimic his hand to help him up.

“ I guess. ”

Mimic replied, hesitantly taking Starline’s webbed hand. He still couldn’t believe he wasn’t dead right now, let alone that this was mutual.

As Mimic stood in front of him, Starline finally began to take in how much he had missed him. It felt warm to finally have him near again after so much time. The whole world finally felt alive again.

“ What now? ”

Mimic asked, finally making direct eye contact.

“ Well… I don’t exactly know… ”

Starline quickly turned to one of the monitors against the tower’s window, on it displayed a screen showing the location of Surge & Kit. They were near the edge of the city, still chasing down their light-hearted counterparts. At first Starline couldn't help but be somewhat annoyed that they had not completed their mission yet, but on the other hand…

“ But we have all the time in the world to figure that out. ”

[nugget--daddy]

Hi little Nugget!! You kinda asked for this even tho I’m HELLA nosy, so you get hit with it!! Now I’ve concocted the PERFECT list of asks… and you have to answer ALL OF THEM!! *evil cackle*

(But I mean, of course, don’t share anything you’re not comfy with kapeesh? It’s supposed to be fun so let’s keep it that way! You can just skip it if it’s insensitive or if you don’t want to share it alright?)

💣 what is your favorite feature on yourself? (Maybe you brain? :3c)

💣 where are you from? (I have a theory…)

💣 do you have any siblings? (I think I know but gotta confirm…)

💣 dream job? (Name one of mine and you get a kiss.)

💣 favorite hobbies outside of your blog (DEFINITELY know some…)

💣 can you drive? (Can you? I learned in my MS years…)

💣 favorite place you’ve traveled (IF you travel…)

💣 favorite artists (she’s gonna say MCR isn’t she? Well… let’s make sure…)

💣 last song you listened to (Wonder if it’s correspondent to my note above…)

💣 last show you watched (DONT SAY SOUTH PARK!!)

💣 last thing you wrote (ehehe… evil….)

💣 scariest thing that’s happened to you (did I ask already? Well, again!)

💣 craziest thing that’s ever happened to you (mine is def being born 💀💀💀)

💣 favorite food (IF YOU SAY SUSHI—)

💣 least favorite food (let’s not start any fights…)

💣 favorite season? (Now we SHOULD agree…)

💣 favorite genre to read / watch / write (Why do I get the inkling it’s horror…)

💣 if you could make one character real, who would it be (do I even have to ask??)

💣 some place you’d love to visit (Mine’s Tokyo! What’s yours?)

💣 a word your friends would use to describe you (Yeah because YOUR five word description was not very….kind….)

💣 what is your earliest memory (Do you have a good memory even? I’ll bet you do.)

💣 why did you start this blog? (Gotta couple ideas why… but I needa hear it from you!)

💣 when did you start writing fanfic (IF you started writing fanfic.)

💣 how do you come up with the fics you write (we had a chat about inspiration the other day… did we not?)

💣 what is the fic you’re know for (I’m sure you can guess mine…)

💣 what character do you enjoy writing for the most (oh and feel free to answer all these writing questions for an OC or something I don’t mind.)

💣 what character do you not enjoy writing for (UGHHHHHH)

💣 is there a fic you wish you didn’t write (is there? I have plenty.)

💣 what character do you simp for most often (same as the genre…)

💣 favorite characters of all time (List em’!!!)

💣 favorite shows / series of all time (I have a lot…)

💣 a show you would recommend to anyone (don’t you dare say South Park.)

💣 a show you’d tell people to stay away from (…interested….)

💣 favorite kinks to write for (if you write kinks… I know I do!)

💣 kinks you would never write for (list one of my favorites and I might argue you on it… maybe…)

💣 a kink you would like to write but you think you’d be judged (plenty of those out there….)

💣 full fics, imagines or head canons (interpret this one how you like.)

💣 your favorite fanfic from another writer…

A couple of in depth questions!

💣 what is something that’s happened in your life that you wish you could go back and change? (Ooooooh I have TOO MANY of these…)

💣 what is one of your biggest accomplishments? Why is it so important to you? (…lots of these too…)

💣 what is the toughest thing you had to go through, but can say you’ve successfully overcome? (WHAT?! WHAT IS IT??)

💣 what is the best gift someone has ever given you and why is it so important (that plush octopus lol….)

💣 what is your comfort show/series and why is it your comfort show? How has it helped you? (If you answer South Park I might clock out and let the next guy take it 💀)

<3333333 Thank you nugget!!

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💣 what is your favorite feature on yourself? (Maybe you brain? :3c)

Uhhhhhhhhhh my dum charm maybe and my brain??? I dunno???

💣 where are you from? (I have a theory…)

Midwestern usa

💣 do you have any siblings? (I think I know but gotta confirm…)

Two sisters, one’s my half sister, the other is my step sis

💣 dream job? (Name one of mine and you get a kiss.)

Psychiatrist or lawyer

💣 favorite hobbies outside of your blog (DEFINITELY know some…)

Writing, drawing, singing, listening to music, simping for characters, reading

💣 can you drive? (Can you? I learned in my MS years…)

I can drive a golf cart

💣 favorite place you’ve traveled (IF you travel…)

Decora, iowa

💣 favorite artists (she’s gonna say MCR isn’t she? Well… let’s make sure…)

ICP (insane clown posse), Maneskin, and CORPSE. Mcr is one of em too. Gotta love teenagers.

💣 last song you listened to (Wonder if it’s correspondent to my note above…)

Hisoka’s theme

💣 last show you watched (DONT SAY SOUTH PARK!!)

I think it was KIPO and the age of the wonderbeasts 

💣 last thing you wrote (ehehe… evil….)

Besides this and some texts? Notes for social studies. 

💣 scariest thing that’s happened to you (did I ask already? Well, again!)

Uhhhhhhh….getting my blood drawn by four scary needles when i was six or neary dying as a 10 monnth year old and having to get my appendix and part of my bowels removed

💣 craziest thing that’s ever happened to you (mine is def being born 💀💀💀)

Either nearly dyingas a ten month old or getting shoved down the stairs by my cousin and cracking my skull

💣 favorite food (IF YOU SAY SUSHI—)

Its sushi

💣 least favorite food (let’s not start any fights…)

. . . cooked spinach. Or just warm spinach.

💣 favorite season? (Now we SHOULD agree…)

💣 favorite genre to read / watch / write (Why do I get the inkling it’s horror…)

💣 if you could make one character real, who would it be (do I even have to ask??)

DAMMMM- if it was one of my characters, Sabrielle, she could take me to a universe where the characters i like are real or Horror sans. OOO OR MERFY. easy.

💣 some place you’d love to visit (Mine’s Tokyo! What’s yours?)

Salem Massachusetts or Tokyo. 

💣 a word your friends would use to describe you (Yeah because YOUR five word description was not very….kind….)

Dang it. . . skrunkly.

💣 what is your earliest memory (Do you have a good memory even? I’ll bet you do.)

Slapping my bare stomach when i was two.

💣 why did you start this blog? (Gotta couple ideas why… but I needa hear it from you!)

To post some art and like somebody’s art

💣 when did you start writing fanfic (IF you started writing fanfic.)

5th grade, Nightmare’s castle on quotev. Rewriting it on quotev.

💣 how do you come up with the fics you write (we had a chat about inspiration the other day… did we not?)

(i think so.) At first it was by taking quizzes on quotev (which is how i discovered undertale), then it was reading, then it was roleplays, and now its music and daily conversations

💣 what is the fic you’re know for (I’m sure you can guess mine…)

(Playing with my food..?) Uh, probably Nightmare’s castle, my old one. Its how i got 600 followers on quotev.

💣 what character do you enjoy writing for the most (oh and feel free to answer all these writing questions for an OC or something I don’t mind.)

Sabrielle, probably. And Foxglove

💣 what character do you not enjoy writing for (UGHHHHHH)

Nightmare, probably. But not because i dont like him, but HES SO DAMNED HARD TO WRITE

💣 is there a fic you wish you didn’t write (is there? I have plenty.)

Hmmmmmmm…….. Probably ‘Why Does Love Hurt So Much?’

💣 what character do you simp for most often (same as the genre…)

Horror Sans. And Patrick Bateman ngl

💣 favorite characters of all time (List em’!!!)

Horror Sans

Raphael TMNT (my first crush ever was on him dont judge i was in preschool)

Killer Sans 

Butters Skotch (he makes me cry)

Eda (The Owl House)

💣 favorite shows / series of all time (I have a lot…)

💣 a show you would recommend to anyone (don’t you dare say South Park.)

S O U T H  P A R K jk. Star Vs. The Forces Of Evil

💣 a show you’d tell people to stay away from (…interested….)

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

The Tuttle Twins.

💣 favorite kinks to write for (if you write kinks… I know I do!)

💣 kinks you would never write for (list one of my favorites and I might argue you on it… maybe…)

Masochism, non com, degrading, licking/

💣 a kink you would like to write but you think you’d be judged (plenty of those out there….)

Vore.

💣 full fics, imagines or head canons (interpret this one how you like.)

Uhhhhhhhhhh ive never finished one of my fanfiction genre things really

💣 your favorite fanfic from another writer…

Playing With My Food and Azriel And Her Life

A couple of in depth questions!

💣 what is something that’s happened in your life that you wish you could go back and change? (Ooooooh I have TOO MANY of these…)

. . .dude what the fuck almost every day i have something like this. It’s not getting on quotev and losing my parents trust. I guess its being so naive and trusting when i was younger. Letting myself get broken over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

💣 what is one of your biggest accomplishments? Why is it so important to you? (…lots of these too…)Getting top ELA scores in the entire school district. Why? S U P E R O R I TY. Nah, just kidding. All of my life people have called me stupid. Made me think I wasn't competent. No matter how high I score on tests. No matter how easy the “hard” assignments are. And getting that score and standing in front of the school with the certificate? It proved them wrong.

💣 what is the toughest thing you had to go through, but can say you’ve successfully overcome? (WHAT?! WHAT IS IT??)

Uhhhhh….i guess there was a week in March where my depression was really, really, really, really, really bad. I was extremely tired. I could barely move. The tiniest little things set me off.I hurt. I had a bottle of pills i kept in my room…

I wanted to be alone. I wanted the loud to stop. It hurt so much…

I wanted the pain to stop.

I eventually just got over it.

💣 what is the best gift someone has ever given you and why is it so important (that plush octopus lol….)

Hmm…just…being there to talk. I'm not able to share everything but.  .  .

Its better than nothing.              Its nice. I don't like having to stay silent. Sometimes the silence hurts more than the noise.

💣 what is your comfort show/series and why is it your comfort show? How has it helped you? (If you answer South Park I might clock out and let the next guy take it 💀)

I dont really have one….sorry.

Your welcome, i guess!

[femgineerasolution]

any tips on how a newbie could start learning about software engineering?

Hi Nonny! Oh gosh, I might go on a bit here. I got into software engineering in a really weird way, basically fell into it, and that was like over a decade ago so a lot of things might have changed! There's a lot of good online resources for getting started in programming and engineering, and the whole maker-space scene is brimming with really cool and interesting people you can learn a lot from. But, beyond the cut you'll find my not particularly well organised thoughts!

Try to pick up a few different programming languages, including different types (like interpretted/scripting, imperative, object-oriented, there's a lot!)

I highly recommend learning Python, it's really useful for a wide range of stuff, I often use it just to automate something that would otherwise be tedious to do

Remember that all languages are a bit different, and will differ in the kinds of problems they're better at solving. No language is a panacae to all problems, so the more languages you know the less time you'll spend hammering a square language into a round hole! I think all languages can teach you something about programming, even if you don't use them so much in the end

For how to learn? I can't direct you to good resources, beyond knowing that there's a lot of good tutorials online, and saying that looking at tutorials is usually better than jumping in the deep end (as you can fall into bad habits that way)

For the engineering side, a good place to start is learning about software lifecycles - how do you go from need to finished solution? Waterfall and V are easy to understand but a bit old-school now, I think agile has really taken over (though is not always implemented well)

Design and requirements capture is so, so important, and so difficult, they're really good things to look into for engineering

I can't find the right thing to call it, but a useful idea is writing tests for your code first, based on the requirements, and then writing the code to make those tests pass. Not always appropriate, but being exposed to that idea helped me change the way I did some things

Version control! Very important, I didn't use to think it was until I made an error in a script that ended up deleting all the code me and two others were working on. Now I use it even for small at-home projects, because it's great to be able to go "oh no, I've broken everything, let's revert back to something that worked". Git is probably the most popular, and github has a really good tutorial (featuring their adorable cat-octopus mascot)

Once you've got the hang of version control, you could try getting involved in some open source stuff, check out https://www.firsttimersonly.com/ for some guidance on that

For me, it was really important to get a degree in this stuff. Like, any job I would have been interested in required a degree. I don't know how much that's changed, but it's worth thinking about. Depending on where you are things like conversion courses and intercolated years (where you take a year out of a degree to do some stuff from a different degree) might be available? And maybe nowadays there might be more companies that will judge you based on a porfolio of previous work instead of just a degree

Final thought, it was a bit of a meme back in uni, but the engineers always used to say that the big different between a software engineer and a computer scientist was that an engineer would actually consider what their code was going to run on. It was a bit mean, but it really hammered in the importance of considering the environment your code will run in

Okay, that was a lot, I'm not sure how clear it was, but I hope it helps!

If anyone wants any other advice about particular stuff, shoot me an ask! Though I received this one in August so I can't guarantee how quickly I'll see it and reply, sorry.

[solarsavoy]

Fandom Saturday, Assassination Classroom part 2

Something just occurred to me. Something that we all knew, but didn't really focus on about Assassination Classroom. The main character.

Like many, I believe that Assassination Classroom is perfect as is. Sure, it'd be nice to flesh out some of the minor characters a bit more, but as for the timing, the length, the plot, the climaxes, it was perfect. Four semesters, spring, summer, fall, and winter, and an opening for each one. It begins the day Korosensei became a teacher, a yellow octopus, and ends when he dies. It is complete, well rounded, and everything times out perfectly, but here's the kicker.

We always assumed Nagisa or Karma or maybe even Isogai were the main characters. We wished we saw more of Gakushuu and the Big 5. Here's why I think we don't have it, and maybe even why the 365 movie was simply a recap. (Haven't seen it so I'm trusting @bismuthwisdom's thoughts on it because it matches what many others have said about it as well.)

It had nothing to do with the main character.

It's obvious this story is about Korosensei, but we're thrown off by the fact that Nagisa is the narrator in the beginning, and in many places throughout, but he's also not the main character.

Some wish for a more thorough time skip, but just about everyone ended up doing what they said they would to Korosensei. Karma is a bureaucrat. Nagisa is a teacher. Nakamura is probably a diplomat or interpreter. All the things they told Korosensei they would be.

The main character was Korosensei. And if it wasn't something in his scope, it's something we wouldn't have known. It's even in the names of the episodes, his focus.

Let's take one of my favorite episodes as an example, Karma Time. It's called Karma Time. Who was Korosensei's main focus during that entire thing? Karma's past was noted in the student file, something Korosensei had access to. It ended when he finally had a good grasp on who Karma was and his attention went back to the classroom as a whole.

Last time, I talked about how fleshed out the characters were, but how closely was Korosensei paying attention to them? That's why they're fleshed out and none of them focused on their home life even though it was mentioned. It wasn't mentioned in all cases because not everyone decided to talk about it at school.

And Gakushuu. Gakushuu was never Korosensei's student, hence, he was never focused on unless his students were somehow interacting with him, like during midterms or festivals.

We also learned about Gakuhou because at one point, Korosensei had to face him. Their teaching methods were at war, so we learned a little about that, but nothing about Gakuhou's personal life because, again, it wasn't any of Korosensei's business. It wasn't something Korosensei needed to know to get the job done.

Everything we see in the anime is through Korosensei's scope and yet, he's rarely the actual narrator. Nagisa usually is. But my theory stands true. In episode 1, something Nagisa wouldn't know that Korosensei did was that flashback of why he became a teacher, something only Korosensei would know. Even though he wasn't the narrator at the time, nothing was actually done that wasn't out of his scope, but it certainly wasn't Nagisa, so why was Nagisa the narrator? Probably because Kaede put him there so she could hide from Korosensei's scope. Think about it.

If it surprised us, it surprised Korosensei. Akari's betrayal. Itona's existence as a "brother". Reaper 2.0 becoming a monster. Sorry, I have to say it again because, Akari's betrayal.

A lot of the hints about her betrayal lied in between the lines of gossip between students, something brushed off as unimportant by the teacher and as an after effect, the audience as well. I'm telling you, this shit is genius.

So the focus on the characters is not as simple as choosing who's in the spotlight at any given time. It is entirely dependent on who the main character is focusing on. And the reason the characters are so fully fleshed out, even so far as mistaking them for the main characters in the anime, is because the true main character focused that much on them.

He was a wonderful teacher and we, the audience, were also being guided by Korosensei throughout the entire anime.

And then he died and all that was left was this open potential for all the characters and, more importantly, for us as fanfiction writers and fanart artists to really go all out with what he left us. Think of it. I wouldn't dream of getting another season from Matsui, but man do I have ideas for fanfics. I mean, I've currently got 28 and counting and I only started a year and a half ago.

Anyway, that's it for this week's Fandom Saturday talk. What are your thoughts? I'd love to hear them. ^^ And if you have a suggestion as to what I should talk about next week, send an ask or a message and I'll do it. Have a good day!

[snowflake-of-destruction]

Lost in Translation

I can’t write a quick, few line caption to save my life Part 3/8. Based off of the third picture of THIS POST and the idea that Sora just yells in dolphin when getting frustrated at his human’s slow learning curve. Read more for length again. Italics are mermish. This is dumb but so are these boys.

 @shaky-mayhemm

Part 4/? of Mermaid AU that needs a name

"Hello," Sora enunciated slowly and clearly.

"Sea Urchin," the sailor chittered back uncertainly. 

Sora shook his head and repeated, "Hello." 

"Hello," the sailor mimicked. 

Sora resisted the urge to slap his fin against the surface of the water in triumph. There was a delicate balance at play. His human had proved more skittish than the red one, even though the handsome silver sailor had technically sought him out first, if falling out of his boat could be counted. Sora would have thought pulling him back to surface and clearing his lungs of water--after a brief confusion where he'd tried to coax the human to swallow more sea to make him feel better enough to wake up--would have proven his intentions were good. He'd even brought the human a fish to eat and get his strength up, though he supposed the sailor must have been too worn out by almost drowning to be hungry because he'd batted the still flopping fish away from his mouth quite forcefully when Sora had tried to feed him. Maybe he just didn't like  to eat when he first woke up. 

 Even with these good first impressions though, the sailor had made a loud screech when he'd first noticed Sora's tail and had dug his hands into the ground and propelled himself backward as far away as he could with the limited room he was allowed on the tiny rock island jutting out of the water Sora had brought him to. He'd scrubbed his eyes with his hands and spouted a series of incomprehensible but almost angry sounding mouth noises, making Sora wish he hadn't kept quite so far a distance when he'd followed Roxas to see where he kept disappearing to (Sora had known for awhile Xion was just making up stories to cover for his twin. The day she ran out of plausible excuses like trying to fill the trench so the ocean floor was even or cleaning the shells of geriatric turtles as community service, and flat out claimed Roxas had been eaten by a whale had cinched it. Granted, Kairi had said Roxas was sneaking to the surface weeks ago, but Kairi hadn't been around when Roxas and Sora had last tried to move sand to the trenches to fill them so she didn't know how convincing that excuse sounded). If he'd been better a better spy when he'd observed Roxas meeting with the red maned sailor then maybe he'd have an idea of what mouth sounds would soothe this human. 

He'd done well enough without human words so far though, even if pantomime  was tough. There had been a major setback when Sora had swum quick circles around the rock to ask if the human felt well enough to swim with him back to proper land or try to find his boat now that the storm had passed, and the sailor had seemed to interpret this as "I am a shark about to eat you," but they'd gotten back on track and Sora had coaxed the sailor to at least trust him enough to keep to the edge of the rock instead of the middle. He almost ruined it when the silver-haired human had first felt confident enough to dip his feet in the water--to prove to himself Sora wouldn't pull him right in--and Sora had immediately swum up between his legs, but this, like the other setbacks, was eventually remedied and they were now back in that position, human sitting on the edge of the rock and Sora bracketed between his legs, arms resting above the sailor's knees, face tilted up as he tried to teach him to talk properly. If he stayed as still and calm as he could, he was sure he could avoid startling the sailor again. He'd already been tested when a hand had reached out and combed softly through his hair. He hadn't been able to help a contented sigh when he'd been petted--grateful that the human was realizing he was friendly and was being friendly back, that was the only reason--but it hadn't scared the human. just made him go pink for a moment.

"Sora," Sora pointed at his chest, then tilted his head to the side like a question.

"Sora?" the human reached out again and tentatively brushed his fingers against the smattering of scales on Sora's shoulder, like he wasn't sure if they were shells or attached to the merman since most of the rest of his upper body didn't show signs of being part fish.

Sora nodded vigorously. "Sora," he kept a hand pressed against his chest for a moment and then patted the front of the human's weird baggy detached skin over his heart. 

"Riku," the sailor supplied.

" Reee-coo? Riku! Riku, Riku Riku." Sora tested out the name, smiling at the bubbling feeling the sounds caused in his chest. 

"Sora." Riku was smiling too. Fingers gently combed through Sora's hair once more.

Sora leaned his head against the side of Riku's knee, humming the name one last time, "Riku," and debating what should come next. Something useful. Something that would help him get Riku back to where he belonged or signal him to wait while Sora went and found Roxas to help. He looked up at Riku's face to see if the human had any ideas. The sun on the surface of the water, making it sparkle and dance like it didn't below and bringing out warmth in the blue-green had nothing on Riku's eyes. "Pretty."

"Pretty," Riku agreed, while continuing to pet through Sora's hair, and the merman turned his face to the side, burying it against Riku's leg in embarrassment. The human couldn't know what he was saying.

"You weren't supposed to repeat that one. I'm not...you know. I'm just me. Even Kairi was disappointed. She didn't say it but I know she had to be. She came all the way from the Radiant Seas to see this prince she's supposed to marry...and ohh let me tell you that's awkward...or not really that awkward because I'm not sure she wants to get married either....not right away at least...What was I saying? Kairi makes me feel small because she's a pearl and I'm just like grit stuck in a clam...which also becomes a pearl I guess, but that's not the point because she also somehow makes me feel strong? Like I can do anything? Like save you. I think my whole life was leading up to saving you from drowning. Is that stupid to say since we just met?" Sora paused to gulp in air, even if the dryness of it made his throat burn a bit, and risked a glance to see how Riku was taking his rambling. He'd felt the absence of the hand in his hair and now he saw it was because Riku was covering his ears. "Sorry, you're right. That was coming on way too strong, and you probably don't care about the Kairi stuff, though I bet you would care about Kairi if you met her. You can't help it. Kairi's amazing."

Riku pushed a single finger against Sora's lips, leaning in close enough as he did that Sora was slightly concerned he'd topple into the water. "Shh" Sora went slightly cross-eyed looking at the digit and had to resist the nonsensical urge to lick it. "You need to go slow, Sora."

"I don't know what you're saying," Sora confessed.

"Pretty?" Riku tried to reorient the conversation.

"Forget that," Sora ordered.

"Pretty?" Riku tried again, thinking his pronunciation was off.

Sora yelled a noise of wordless frustration and Riku imitated him. 

"You need to stop fixating on that word. Let's pick another word. Sky. Boat. Octopus! Algae!"

"Pretty?" Riku tugged on his weird second skin as he asked the question. "Pretty?" He pulled a lock of his hair. "Pretty?" He gently bopped Sora's nose. 

"Yes, you're really pretty. You're the prettiest thing I've ever seen. No! Not me. I already told you that I'm not pretty! Technically you're not pretty either. I should have said handsome but....you are so pretty, but you really need to focus."

"Too loud," Riku frowned for emphasis. "Too fast. Slow down."

"I don't know what you're saying!" Sora found himself speaking more loudly as he repeated his earlier words.

"I wish I knew what you were saying," Riku sighed.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING!" Sora made large hand gestures, waving by his mouth, to help the conversation.

"Too loud," Riku just spoke more insistently and mimed covering his ears.

"THOSE ARE EARS. EARS!" Once Sora started yelling, it was hard to stop.

"Too loud."

"EARS! WHAT YOU ARE SAYING SOUNDS NOTHING LIKE EARS!"

"Too loud!"

"EEEEEEEEEAR!" He'd been pretty loud, but maybe Riku was still losing the nuance.

"How do I get you to stop screeching? That's too high a pitch for me, Sora." 

"YES, I'M SORA! GOOD JOB RIKU. NOW SAY EAR!"

"Pretty Sora?"

"NOT THIS AGAIN. NO, SORA NOT PRETTY. RIKU PRETTY. PRETTY RIKU. SAY EAR FOR ME, PRETTY RIKU!"

"Too loud!" Riku was bending down again so their foreheads almost touched.

"TOO LOUD? DO YOU WANT ME TO COPY YOU? TOO LOUD! WHAT IS THAT?" Sora switched between English and mermish.

Riku sighed heavily and leaned back. "Sora, please stop screaming at me. I can hear you perfectly fine. How can I make you understand?"

"IT'S OKAY. I STILL LIKE YOU, RIKU, EVEN IF YOU CAN'T SAY EAR," Sora encouraged.

There was a long moment of silence as both boys tried to think of the best way to be understood. Sora wracked his brain for any human words he'd overheard Roxas say. 

"Kiss?"

That was the wrong word. The human's chest was as still as it had been when Sora needed to press the water out of it. Come to think of it, his color was retreating too, leaving him the same sickly pale as when he'd been waterlogged.

"DO YOU NEED MORE AIR AGAIN?" Sora tried to push himself out of the water, intent on blowing air into Riku's mouth like he had while he'd been unconscious.

Riku scrambled backward to the center of the rock.

Great. Another setback. They'd figure out this communication thing sooner or later.

[jessiohhh]

One of my best friends @ahufflepuffhobbit tagged me in this long list of things to help us get to know each other, and I’m just so glad to learn more things about her! So I’m going to tag @the-angry-pixie, @s-s-georgie, and @purebloodqueen (and anyone else who wants to join in!) with no pressure to these three to actually complete this! It’s long.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? I’m a pen snob. I prefer black G2 pens, but I’ll also write with blue or make notes with red on paper copies of reports and things (just so I can feel like a professional at some point in my life). I don’t mind the colors so much as I mind the pen. G2 only for my personal life (bic when I know the pens will be stolen).

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? I lived in Boston for 4 years, and I liked some parts of it. Now I live in a smaller city outside of Boston (around 100k people) and I love it here, but the art scene and the queer spaces are ample and I really like my job.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? Outside of becoming a better writer, I really want to learn how to cook better and do better food presentations so I can make a “food blog” and become famous for learning how to cook better and teaching people how to cook better.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Yes, I just do a regular regular (2 cream, 2 sugar) for coffee, but for tea I prefer honey.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? Under 5, I read The Cay with my dad and loved it. Under 8, I read Goodnight, Mr. Tom, a book about a child evacuee from London which got me started on my WWII history obsession. Under 10, I became obsessed with The Outsiders (which is still my favorite book to this day). Under 13, The Only Alien on the Planet. Under 15, Harry Potter (unfortunately, the author has ruined the series for me). Under 18, I fell in love with this book about a young teen dad, and I’ve never been able to find the book again.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? I’m totally a baths person, but no tubs are quite the right fit, so when I’m rich and famous I’m getting myself a soaker tub and I will live in that damn thing (I have dreams that my grandmother had a soaker tub--which she did--that she never used--which she didn’t--but I would sneak into her house to use her soaker tub--which unfortunately never happened. Can you tell how stressed I am by nature? I just need a soaker tub with a bath bomb and like 4 hours to myself).

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Hmm... I just want to be your average garden variety hedge witch. 

8. Paper or electronic books? Either/or. I suck at reading these days. I just don’t have the attention span. Give me a book and I’ll probably only read half regardless of electronic or paper. (#badwriter, #readmore)

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? I quite like capri leggings. They’re my typical go-to wardrobe choice. 

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? I don’t feel like Jessica really fits me that much anymore, but I’m comfortable with Jess.

11. Who is a mentor to you? I would classify one of my college professors, but she just “unfriended” me on facebook because of differing viewpoints (neither are wrong, but her view of what I was saying wasn’t accurate). So I might be in the market for a new mentor.

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? Sure, in some regards, I suppose. A part of me has always wanted to be “famous” but really I’d just take my 15 minute spotlight and be happy with that. I’d really like to be on one of those cooking competition shows (only a nice British TV one, not an American one), or I’d like to have fans on youtube and have a really cool youtube channel, or I’d like to be a writer with some really good books published... or even just a child development theorist. Whatever. Gimme my 15 minutes!

13. Are you a restless sleeper? Relatively, yes. I’m up to pee, to toss and turn, with nightmares. I’m someone who talks in their sleep and who thinks that their dreams are happening in the waking world--so I respond verbally to things dream characters say.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? I think I’m a romantic at heart, but I have few people to express that side with.

15. Which element best represents you? My sign is water, but I’m definitely more fire.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? I don’t really have anyone that I’m afraid of being close to, but I wouldn’t mind having a datemate. Find me someone to fit that role, please.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? I think a part of me will always miss my brother, and I’m close to my mother but prefer that we have a bit of space between us (we’re too similar). I think there’s this thing where you miss things you’ve never had, because I totally miss feeling part of a close knit friend group.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. I played alone as a kid a lot, and in my backyard we had a swing set that I would play on a lot. There were horses in the field beside the back yard, and a donkey in the field behind it and in the woods on the other side of the house were a bunch of feral cats. I remember swinging on the swings and hearing something make a god awful sound that I had never heard before (and it sounded really close to me) and I remember panicking and running straight for the house. My dad told his version of the story; he looked out and saw me, eyes wide as saucers, pale as a sheet, running in as fast as my little legs could carry me. 

Admittedly, this is also the house where I’m pretty sure I saw aliens peeking in my bedroom window, so was it supernatural or just an animal? I’ll never know.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? I’m down to eat almost anything; I ate a baby octopus once, and didn’t really like it. It was too spicy and too chewy.

20. What are you most thankful for? The job I have; I feel incredibly supportive by my supervisor and incredibly thankful to have such wonderful families I get to support every day.

21. Do you like spicy food? I used to... and then I became too white.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? I once spoke on the phone with Hal Sparks (a friend was at a comedy show of his and called me in the middle of the night so he could say hello to me). I’ve also brushed past a few other people while in New York City or in Florida, but nothing super memorable. 

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? I try to, but then I forget for a year and then I write a page that’s like “well this has happened in the last year.” and I do that every year I keep the physical journal. Sometimes I do write down tarot interpretations and things like that as they pertain to my life at the time.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? Mostly pens. Occasionally pencils, but mostly pens. 

25. What is your star sign? Cancer

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Ew. Crunchy. Who eats soggy cereal?

27. What would you want your legacy to be? I want to be able to continue supporting families even after I’ve gone... through a foundation or through a child developmental theory book... we’ll see.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I enjoy reading, but I’m pretty sure I have an undiagnosed case of ADHD, and I’ve been chasing the high of going into hyperfocus ever since I was a child--I haven’t stayed up all night reading since my teens and I miss that.

29. How do you show someone you love them? I’m very much a words of affirmation sort of person, and a quality time person. Gimme a day out with a friend or someone I care about and I’ll compliment who they are as a person about 800 times, and if you give me a task to do, I’ll love you forever.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? Yeah, I’m an ice cruncher.... I know it’s bad, but it’s so good.

31. What are you afraid of? I don’t have a lot of fears, but I think fear that my mom would pass unexpectedly is a big one. I don’t know how I’d get through life without her support and guidance. I also fear panic attacks (not the triggers themselves, but the panic attacks that I have every now and again).

32. What is your favourite scent? I have this incense called Opium that I love... I also love the smell right as it starts to rain, the ocean, sometimes sunny days have a really nice smell too... 

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? I don’t typically say people’s names, but if I have to address someone, I’ll usually say, “Ma’am or sir” until they tell me to call them by their first names.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I mean, honestly, I’d still be doing the same thing, but I’d be considering buying my own house and having a kid... two of the things I really want but can not afford right now.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? I prefer to be in the water at the ocean as compared to a pool (the chlorine kills me), but if I’m going to swim I prefer to do that in a pool... because I don’t trust myself to swim in the ocean--I don’t have enough experience to be a confident ocean swimmer even though I’m a fairly good swimmer in general.

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? Look around to see if anyone has lost it, but then pocket it. Maybe I’d hand it off to a homeless person or someone who looks in need, but that’s me being optimistic that I’d do that.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Yeah, I drove through the Pleiades meteor shower one year, and saw about 15 shooting stars in 10 minutes. I also stood on top of Mount Lee in Hollywood (where the hollywood sign sits) and saw a shooting star there. Once I was up in Maine and laying in the grass with some friends and saw a shooting star there too... you just have to be in a place that’s dark enough, and it’s likely you’ll see some flaming space trash crash into the earth.

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? I would like to have children to teach them, but I’m worried that won’t happen because $$ and society suck. But I really try to teach the children that I love in my life how to be a good, kind, person, and how to treat others with respect. I try to teach consent early and often. I try to teach loving yourself as you are and how you are, and that who you are is deserving of love, no matter what happens in your life. I try to teach them that they are not perfect (no one is), but that you can amend your actions and make reparations to the people you have harmed with your actions, and that even though you have made a mistake as long as you are taking steps to correct your mistake you are a good person and always worthy of love. 

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I already have them, but I would like more. But again... $$.

40. What can you hear now? The roomba just turned on. It’s definitely time for bed.

41. Where do you feel the safest? In my room, in my home.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? Feeling unworthy of love.

43. Of you could travel back to any era, what would it be? I’m not really interested anymore in going back into previous times... the past was only idealistic to white people, and people of color have had a shitty time in every era so I’m good. Take me to a time when racism is done and then we’ll talk.

44. What is your most used emoji? the crying laughing cat face

45. Describe yourself using one word. Intense.

46. What do you regret the most? I don’t know that I have a lot of regrets. I regret when people misinterpret what I mean when I say something that wasn’t explained well. I regret individuals who have exited my life that have chosen to do so of their own volition. But they aren’t things that I had a lot of control over, so I don’t regret them very much.

47. Last movie you saw? Hamilton. I quite appreciated being able to see it finally.

48. Last tv show you watched? I watch a lot of paranormal tv... just because it’s something to put on... actually I fall asleep to a lot of paranormal tv. If I were to see a ghost, I probably wouldn’t react that much because I just sleep through the weird shit they do on tv, so... what up ghost?

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. I don’t tend to invent words... I do like putting words together in new ways though and telling different stories. Maybe I’ll do that sometime.

[onstarsandiron]

Like Stars Colliding: Chapter 1

I wanted more Jax and Ana being besties, so I thought where better to start than when they met? Here’s Chapter 1 of how they became bffls and the biggest pains in Siege’s ass in the entire galaxy

AO3 Link

Chapter: [1]/2/?

The universe was open and Jax could feel the stars around him. The comforting sense of knowing exactly where he was enveloped him as he watched the lights in the darkness twinkle outside the starshield. Sat in the Dossier’s cockpit, Jax couldn’t feel more at home. It had been a couple years since Captain Siege had let him join her crew and he’s finally been trusted to fly completely unsupervised when they weren’t on a job. He’s still trying to convince Siege he can fly them out of any danger – because he can – but she always just chuckles and says, “Some day you will.” It’s honestly very frustrating, but he’ll get his chance to prove his metal yet.

For now, though, he’s happy to just enjoy getting to be exactly where he should be. Stars above him, Cerces in view, and the red SOS light on the dash flashing. Wait. The red SOS light flashing? Jax looked at the blinking light – an alarming red going in and out at a surprisingly languid rate. That meant someone within range had an SOS signal out. Their ship and anyone else within range of that signal should be receiving the distress call, it was a mandatory standard on all vessels.

Quickly, Jax wasted no time in fixing on the signal. He pressed the intercom button as well, “Captain, we’ve got an SOS on radar.” Jax could feel the beginnings of an adrenaline rush entering his veins, but he reeled himself in. He needed to stay calm and cool, exhibit equanimity. He did stupid things when he let himself get too excited, and as the galaxy’s best pilot he didn’t have room for doing stupid things.

It wasn’t a minute before Captain Siege entered the cockpit, hair glowing a sun-yellow that filled the previously dim room with light. She had already dawned her red coat, her already imposing figure looking bullet proof. Wick followed behind her to take his place at the communications console, opening the right program to interpret the message.

SOS’s were a big deal; you never knew what you were getting yourself into. Is it a merchant ship that was raided and left for dead? Is the danger passed or will they find two groups still battling? Maybe someone who found themselves off course and stranded without enough fuel to get them anywhere. In this neck of the Kingdom, on the wrong side of Cerces and too far for comfort from Iliad, there was a possibility that they could be too late for anyone in a stranded craft. There also was always the possibility of the SOS being a lure to an ambush, a trick Jax always thought of as particularly dirty.

“How far away are we?” Siege asked, watching the screens in front of him. She’d stand close to him, but he never felt in danger of her touching him. It was such a relief that she just let him be about that; so many people, when told he didn’t like to be touched, took that as a challenge to try their damnedest to. It was truly exhausting.

“About thirty-minutes,” he replied, “We should have visual in twenty.” Thirty-minutes at the speed they’re going, even if it was just a typical cruise, was a lot of space. It was in an odd direction, too – away from the planets that could hold people who could help. Jax didn’t tend to think too optimistically when situations started looking strange.

“Decode it yet?” The captain asked, looking over to Wick.

Wick nodded, one earmuff of his headset pressed to his ear, “Large escape pod, but only two on board. No other information.”

Well now that was just confusing. Why would only two people be on a large escape pod? Large pods are built to hold around 75-100 souls, so if something went wrong on a ship that required pods like that there should have been more people, and possibly other pods. But if this was a spoof, it was a bad one. Why would bandits planning an ambush make such a strange and vague SOS? They would have said a small pod with a couple passengers to lower their guard and sent more complete information like what vessel they came from, any injuries to the passengers or damage to the pod, time since ejection – normal, standard information that’s typically auto-filled into the SOS signal. It put everyone on-edge, the opposite of what a false-message was made to do.

The captain frowned, no doubt going through the same calculations Jax was – after all, he’d learned it all from her. “And there’s no sign of any other ship? Not even the mother?”

Jax ran another scan of the area, this time finer as he had a clearer idea of where to be looking. He shook his head. “Nothing we can detect, Captain.” Just because the Dossier didn’t see them, didn’t mean they weren’t cloaked, but there at least wasn’t a mother ship anywhere in sight.

Wick shook his head too, “No other communications, no signal interceptions, barely even any base radio waves all the way out here.”

“Send out a response signal, let them know we’re coming,” Siege said at last. Even if they were suspicious, there was no need to tell anyone out there listening that they thought something was wrong.

Wick nodded and sent out the appropriate signal, reporting that it was received, but no further information sent.

Jax really didn’t like this, but he couldn’t blame the captain; if there really was someone in trouble all the way out here, there probably wouldn’t be anyone else passing by for a long time. After all, that was the only reason they were traveling in such deserted space themselves to begin with.

Slowly, finally, the pod in question came within range of the Dossier’s external camera. Jax zoomed in and displayed the grainy image up on he main holoscreen, the image slowly getting sharper the closer they inched. It was definitely a large pod, looking to fit 100 souls easily, most likely with food for all of them for at least two weeks. It was so clean and new looking that it was genuinely shiny. The pod rotated slightly as it drifted. It wasn’t deployed from the mother ship particularly fast, it seemed, or else they’d still be going that speed. Either that or someone was controlling the ship and had slowed it on purpose, which wouldn’t make much sense in the middle of nowhere.

Jax searched the area for any other visuals or crafts, but he couldn’t find even the heat trails of anyone who might be around to jump them. Fishy. Fishy, fishy, fishy.

“Oh my,” he heard the captain say, and snapped his head back to the main holoscreen. The glorified tin can had rotated enough to reveal an insignia painted onto its side: a large purple octopus with a ninth tentacle.

“Ironbloods,” Jax said under his breath, knowing that was a symbol he’d seen before but not remembering whose it was.

“Rasovant,” Siege filled in, her green eyes hardening. Ironbloods were always trouble. Even if they helped them, there’d be no guaranteeing the bastards wouldn’t turn around and turn them in. But still, it would be genuinely cruel to leave anyone out here, especially when they’d already responded to the SOS.

There was no way anything good was going to come of this.

“Jaxander, Wick, keep scanning for stray signals and any, I mean any, movement.” Wick and Jax both nodded. Siege then reached over Jax’s shoulder and pressed the intercom button, “We’re approaching a Rasovant escape pod, size large, reportedly only carrying two. Barger, I want you on the guns in case we’re getting tricked. Talle, I want you and Riggs to be our welcoming party, be prepared to lead em off to the med bay if they need it.”

A series of affirmatives voiced themselves over the ship’s speakers and noise was heard elsewhere in the Dossier as everyone moved to their positions. They were a bit light handed, being between jobs and simply cruising to the next where they’d pick up a few temporary hands. Jax hoped they wouldn’t need more than who they had for a company of two. Jax hoped it was really a company of two.

Fifteen minutes from the pod and the seconds ticked by like hours. Jax had every sweeping program he could think of running, but there wasn’t even a ghost to be found.

Ten minutes from the pod and finally Wick’s pinging made a proper connection. “Dossier pinging Escape Pod 02,” Wick said, apparently now getting a signal through to the craft, “Confirm status.”

There was a long moment of Jax and Siege watching Wick, his face making it seem as if it was difficult to make out what the other was saying. At last, he looked to the captain with a report, “They’re on low power, radio’s malfunctioning. It’s two, alright, though; says it’s a Metal with a little girl and the girl needs medical attention.”

That… what? Jax looked at Wick incredulously. Why didn’t any piece of this situation make sense? What kind of day was this? Jax found himself ruffled, but the captain looked as if she’d simply been told water was wet.

Five minutes from the pod and Jax could see via the camera aimed at the airlock Riggs and Talle were geared up in their miss-match space suits. “Jaxander, we’re going to come at them nice and slow and deploy our hooks. They can slide across and Riggs and Talle will take em. Wick, relay all that to them, will you?”

Jax nodded and prepared for the maneuver. It was strange to be rescuing a pod that was, now that they approached in proper, actually a little larger than they were. He didn’t like this, since they’d be extremely vulnerable with their hooks out, but there wasn’t a damn thing in sight to cause them harm. At least it was a formal escape pod, such that it had designated points to implant hooks rather than him having to be careful not to pierce the wrong bit of its side.

Sidled up to it, Jax watched anxiously through his feed as the air locks of the Dossier and of the escape pod opened. The angle was poor, but Jax could make out a Metal, looking just as any other Metal did, holding a white cocoon. The cocoon wasn’t exactly a space suit so much as a space bag, common stock on an escape pod so that they could hook each bag to tethers and slide it across without worrying about the price or fit of a space suit for everyone on board. The Metal followed the standard procedure to a t. The bag was adult sized, for some reason, and if it hadn’t been for the lack of gravity Jax suspected the lump of person – the aforementioned girl, he guesses – would fall to the bottom rather comically. Talle caught the bag, and the Metal followed, simply grabbing onto the tether with his iron hand and gliding along it. Riggs almost caught it before the metal stopped itself by holding onto the tether tighter and letting friction do its work. Probably for the best; they may not be experiencing gravity out there, but that Metal still had mass and an acceleration.

Once the airlock was secured again and Talle, Riggs, the bag, and the Metal disappeared from the camera’s view, Jax disconnected their hooks and reeled them back in nice and easy. In reaction to being released, the floating pod drifted backwards away from them, airlock door still open to space as it returned to slowly rotating. It’d probably end up in Haven’s Grave one day or something.

Just like that, they now had two of the strangest passengers in the galaxy on their ship.

“All right, let’s get us back on our way to that waystation now,” Siege said to him, and Jax was more than happy to turn the ship around and toward an actual destination. This couldn’t be bandits because they never would have even had anything in the pod to begin with, but he still felt paranoid here. He could feel that space was full of stars and light, felt it every day, but this little corner seemed to be nothing emptiness.

“We’ll see to the girl and I’ll let you know if you need to step on it depending on how bad off she is, but for now let’s take it just like we were. If these folks are running from something, there’s no reason to give nobody something to chase.”

Jax had been so caught up in thinking this was all a trap he hadn’t even thought of the possibility of someone running from something. Really, he hadn’t even thought of who they might have just picked up. He recalled how small the body in the bag had looked, a bit smaller than him, he’d say. Now he was filled with questions over who they were and what had happened. Why were they in such a big pod? Why was it on low power? Why were they in this weird part of space? There was a slice of guilt built in that he hadn’t been very concerned until just now.

“Barger, you can go ahead and stand down,” the captain said into the intercom. She was returned with a, “Make me bloody get all the way into this damn-fangled piece of shit just for me not to be allowed to shoot anything?” which was as close as Barger tended to get towards, “Yes, of course, Captain.”

“Wick, with me. Cockpit’s all yours, Kiddo,” Siege said turning to leave the cockpit. Wick nodded, shut down his station and followed. Jax suddenly deflated, realizing the one drawback to being the pilot: his place was this chair. He wanted desperately to leap out and run down to the cargo bay where the Metal surely was and watch how the captain might grill him, or to lay eyes on the girl in the bag. His stomach suddenly formed a knot as he remembered that the girl was injured. How badly, he wondered, and could they help her? Was she on death’s door? Or was she some Ironblood kid who considered a day without breakfast or a splinter to be proper suffering?

Either way, he wasn’t going to find out any time soon. Not unless someone was going to swap with him at the helm or come up and tell him what was up, and it seemed like these two were a real all-hands-on-deck issue at the moment. The guilt from before bit at him again, reminding him he shouldn’t treat an injured person as a spectacle. Then again, if this strange rescue wasn’t a spectacle, then what was?

Jax sighed to himself, the adrenaline he had squashed down earlier leaving him with an empty feeling as it dissipated. Guess now was as good a time as ever to work on his patience.

[loopy777]

whats your thoughts on Venom, the green goblin and doctor octopus, the three characters who are generally held up as spidermans archenemies? which one do you think has the best potential as spidermans definite enemy if they were written perfectly, and which series do you think had the best portrayal of each of them respectively?

If I had to crown THE Spider-Man Archnemesis, I would have to give it to Green Goblin. Doc Ock is the oldest, and the first to both defeat Spider-Man and make him consider quitting, but ultimately Norman has taken more from Spidey, gotten more personal in their conflict, and created more of a legacy for the mythos. Sorry, Otto.

That said, I don’t really like designating a single archnemesis for Spidey because Norman hasn’t completely dominated the field. Ock runs the Sinister Six, Spidey’s big Villain Team and one of the best Villain Teams in all of superhero comics. (And let’s face it, the Legion of Doom is bigger only because DC characters got more media exposure for a long time and Superman’s villains are so good that Lex Luthor, Brainiac, and Bizarro lift up the likes of Solomon Grundy and Cheetah when they’re all on a team together.) Venom has the whole Evil Knockoff thing going and a unique and terrifying ‘stalker’ gimmick that puts him in a special class, not to mention how he directly overpowers or counters all Spidey’s abilities.

And, honestly, the whole ‘Goblin’ gimmick is kind of arbitrary and has nothing to do with spiders. Clowns and bats don’t have a direct relation, but at least they’re opposites in terms of color and purpose, so Batman and Joker kind of seem like twisted rivals. Goblins and spiders are only linked in that they’re both kind of Halloweeny, but Spider-Man has little to do with Halloween or spooky stuff, anyway. But I better cut this line of thought off before I start explaining how Spider-Man shouldn’t be Spider-Man at all and him being Frog-Man would make just as much sense and then we wouldn’t have to deal with pictures of icky spiders in all Spider-Man media.

But yeah, Norman Osborne is still indisputably a cut above the others.

Ock is really just a typical mad scientist with a robot-arm gimmick that allows him to directly fight with Spider-man. He’s well-written and constructed, granted, and I love how his arrogance contrasts with Peter’s humility, how they’re such opposites in terms of empathy, and how different their paths become after science-based accidents that granted them unusual powers. Bendis’s “Ultimate Spider-Man” comics nicely honed in on this theme, and I also appreciate how both Stan Lee’s prose story in the unrelated “Ultimate Spider-Man” short story collection (...it’s a title Marvel loves to reuse for some reason) and John Byrne’s attempted origin revision linked the irradiated spider to the explosion that created Ock. All great villains should be dark reflections of their heroes, but while Ock has gotten some great stories that make him a top-tier villain, he still offers little storytelling potential beyond his mad scientist archetype. Now, I know what comics-readers are thinking at this point: Yes, I did read the original “Superior Spider-Man” run and I think there’s some real potential there, but honestly I feel like it was under-served by Dan Slott’s pacing and foibles. And I haven’t seen an adaptation of it yet that I think really fulfills the possibilities. But the idea is great, so maybe Otto will get his chance to level up his rivalry with Spider-Man.

Venom’s problem is that he’s a little too focused on his revenge on Spider-Man. The stories where he stalks Spidey, wandering into Peter’s life to fold laundry with Aunt May, popping up to have a surprise tussle with Spidey just to throw him off-balance, etc- Those are great and make Venom seem super-scary, especially since Spidey can’t beat Venom in a fight without some kind of edge or gimmick. But all Venom wants is revenge on Spidey, so after he’s failed a few times to get it, what do you do with the character? He’s not scary if he keeps failing. The original idea was to have the symbiote pass on from Eddie Brock and take on other hosts, and that might have opened the door for some new kinds of stories. I know this was eventually implemented 20 years later, with the original Scorpion getting to be Venom for a while, and symbiotes becoming a whole Thing with a bunch in various colors, but I didn’t read any of those stories and they don’t seem to have left much impression on the general Spider-Man fandom. Ultimately, it was chosen to ‘redeem’ Eddie Brock and make Venom into an “anti-hero” (for a definition of the term that means “protagonist who kills people but doesn’t have to worry about that whole ‘consistently laid low by their fatal flaw’ thing”) which did sell a bunch of comics in the 90′s and set up some tension-filled team-ups with Spidey. Nice idea, if implemented in a really shaggy way, but -- again -- what do you do after that? Venom/Eddie isn’t really a compelling lead who you can keep telling stories about. (Yes, I saw the Venom movie. It has like two minutes of amusing material and two hours of boring dreck, and none of it is memorable.) And making him evil again runs into the same problem as having left him evil in the first place. Venom was a good idea whose time came and went, and perhaps someone will find a way to make him fresh again. But until then, I think he gets by more on his visuals than anything.

The Green Goblin, in contrast, has a lot going for him in terms of storytelling potential. He’s a mad scientist, a wanna-be crime boss, a dark shadow of his civilian identity looking for revenge and/or illicit thrills, and personally has that ongoing personal hatred/rivalry for Spider-Man. That offers a whole bunch of storytelling paths, all of which have been taken and proven fruitful over the years. And that’s without getting into how Norman Osborne is the father of Peter’s best friend Harry, a flawed father figure to Peter in his own right, a ruthless millionaire industrialist before Lex Luthor gave it a try, and another dark reflection of the paths Peter could have taken in both aspects of his life. Even when Norman is dead, his legacy continued to be felt for 20-odd years with how Harry fell from grace. You can even link Norman to his spin-off the Hobgoblin; just Norman’s equipment getting passed on created another enduring villain. And, again, that’s without even looking at Norman’s murder of the one-time romantic lead Gwen Stacy being the event that ended the Silver Age of comics. Norman Osborne is just plain a truly great, versatile villainous character who has managed, despite being almost 60 years old, to still maintain an “Oh, no!” impact among Spidey fans when he shows up. Sure, there have been bad stories about him, and some over-exposure at times, but that hasn’t diminished his impact or ongoing potential.

As for portrayals, I’m overall a fan of the 90′s animated series and their takes. That show really petered out after a few seasons, but it introduced Ock with a bang and got a lot of mileage out of him. Venom got to do the whole scary stalker thing, and then the show put him on a shelf until his ‘redeeming’ death to avoid over-exposure, so that worked out fairly well. And while it’s odd how Kingpin and Hobgoblin took over most of the Green Goblin’s role in Spider-Man’s stories, what we did get of Norman was good, and the performance that went into the Green Goblin really sold the weird psychology of the character. Those three villains definitely got a chance to shine in this series, even if Green Goblin was under-used.

I also think the Sam Raimi movies overall did a good job. Green Goblin was perfect- aside from the costume. Willem Dafoe utterly nailed every aspect of the character, right down to the body language, and the movie did a good job condensing his rivalry with Spider-Man into a single movie. As for Doctor Octopus, I’m of two minds about how he got a sympathetic backstory and characterization. On the one hand, it made him a more compelling character and Alfred Molina danced nicely between the human side and the villainous side. On the other hand, though, Ock has classically never really been sympathetic; he’s an utter monster in behavior, and the insertions of bullying in his backstory have never changed that. Venom is the only one I think didn’t really get a chance in these movies; I like this version of Eddie Brock (really!), but he barely got an opportunity to be Venom and you can tell no aspect of the character really inspired the storytellers.

Spectacular Spider-Man, naturally, did a good job. I think this version of Green Goblin is the best of them all; I even got my DVD set signed by Steve Blum! Ock was also done well, getting to be the Master Planner as well as leader of the Sinister Six, although I don’t think I quite buy the timidity they gave the character before the accident. Similarly, I didn’t buy Eddie’s fall from grace as Peter’s best friend; one episode he’s upset because Peter’s blowing him off for hanging out, and the next episode he’s nearly killing Mary Jane just to mess with Peter. You might as well just start with Eddie being a monster, like the Raimi movie did.

I also think Bendis’s Ultimate comics did well by all three characters. I’m not really a fan of Goblin-Hulk, but Norman’s impact was fully in effect (even if we had yet another toothless homage to Gwen Stacey’s death with Mary Jane getting thrown off a bridge and surviving), and they fit him well into the Super-Soldier Arms Race aspect of the setting. Ock got some really great use, including an arc of character development and ‘redemption’ that still managed to allow him to be an arrogant monster to the end. Venom was under-used, but this might be the best ever interpretation of Eddie Brock and obviously inspired the Raimi version, and I love the origin of the symbiote here and how it tied to Peter’s father. My only complaint is that after that first great story, Bendis didn’t seem to quite know what to do with Venom; the video game and its comic adaptation seemed to be setting him up for more, but that didn’t come to anything.

So, those are my thoughts. As a Spider-Man fan, I think I’m spoiled for choice in picking an achnemesis. Despite the little flaws that keep Ock and Venom from topping the Green Goblin, they’re still heavy-hitters as comic book villains and could run the game in the rogues gallery of most other superheroes. But Spidey has one of the best sets of villains in the business, so that’s not surprising.

[an-agender-disaster]

Half Man, Half Beast - Chapter 2

Sorry about how long this took to release! I wanted it to be of good quality! With that being said:

Chapter Two - The Heart

AO3 link here!

Word count - 1448

________________________________________________________________

            Virgil was unable to sleep during the night. The humans had created a makeshift shelter for him, but it was cramped. Virgil had to hunch over, which is uncommon, as he has a petite frame, even for... people like him. He wasn't sure if there was a name for them. It's not like they are widely known. 

            All Virgil wanted to do was leave, but he felt like the eyes of the humans were always on him, holding him in place. That and the jar. Virgil thinks that this was the same one as earlier. Now, though, it had a lid on the top that had some air holes poked through it. He didn't realize how cramped it was before, but man was it small. What Virgil wouldn't give to be free again. He thinks back to what the octopus-man, Remus, Virgil thinks, said.

            "Well, it’s not like they’ll kill you if you try and run, so you should be fine!”  Was that a covert way of telling him the truth? A way to tell him to watch out? Stay or die. Were those Virgil's only two options? Though, it's not like he could run even if he weren't in the jar or didn't have the threat of death lingering over him. Looking down at his broken leg, Virgil sighs. He can hardly move without pain jolting through it. Virgil can't remember the last time he was able to walk without pain or a limp. Maybe if he had been faster they wouldn't have caught him. If only.

            Virgil can see the sun starting to rise through the window nearby. The sounds of birds filter in from the outside, their chirps only a grim reminder of the freedom that Virgil lost. Sure, they might have attacked him, but even then he could have escaped. Birds are dumb. Humans are not.

            A few more minutes pass by where Virgil was left alone to his thoughts, up until he can hear as someone begins to walk down the stairs. He quickly sits up, only to bang his head on the lid of the jar. Hunching down again, Virgil waits to see who comes down the stairs.  A second or so pass until he sees the human who discovered him. The man looks around the room up until his eyes land on Virgil. The man gasps, seemingly afraid, until he remembers that Virgil isn't a spider, or not fully a spider. He walks over to the table that Virgil’s jar is on, and sits down in one of the chairs across from Virgil.

            "Hey, kiddo. I don't know if Logan told you yesterday, but my name is Patton," the man, Patton, says, "Dee told me that you were scared, but I just wanted to tell you that we won't hurt you!"

            Of course he would be saying that, wouldn't he? Virgil looks at Patton, who is leaning away, clearly uncomfortable, and then points to the lid of the jar. It takes Patton a few seconds to understand what Virgil was trying to say, but when he understands, he shakes his head, "Kiddo, I don't know if this counts as rude, but I'm an arachnophobe. I really would, but I'm really afraid of spiders." Virgil hunches in on himself, knowing that this wouldn't be good for him. Any aggression from Patton would go right to him now. All Virgil does in response is nod his head.

            "But, hey! I'll bring you into the kitchen and we can make breakfast together, right?" Patton asks. Virgil looks around, avoiding eye contact, then nods, knowing that this is what the human wants to hear. “Yay! This will be fun!” Patton squeals, jumping out of his seat. He then hastily picks up the jar, shaking Virgil around in the process, and speeds into the kitchen. It is much faster then Virgil had ever moved before. Almost as soon as he was picked up, the jar was placed down on a kitchen countertop.

            Patton hurries around the room, gathering supplies from all around the kitchen. When he finally has everything together, Patton explains what he is doing. “I was thinking scrambled eggs would be nice today. I should probably also make some toast, too.” Patton glances up from his work, now stirring the eggs with some cheese in a measuring cup, and looks at Virgil. Realizing that Patton is waiting for an answer, Virgil gives a small thumbs up, not really having process what the human had said. However, the human smiles, then returns to his work, humming a small song while stirring.

            A few minutes later, Virgil hears the telltale sounds of another human walking down the stairs, these footsteps lighter then Patton’s had been. Virgil is unable to see who it is, but Patton must have been able to, as he calls, “Hey, Logan! Did you sleep well last night?”

             “I slept well, Patton. Thank you for asking.” Virgil hears the footsteps draw closer, then enters the man who had captured him the previous night. The man looks down at the jar, a hint of surprise on his face. “Patton, why is he still in the jar? Shouldn’t you have taken him out?”

            “I probably should have, but I wanted someone else down here as well.” Patton explains, plating the food.

            Logan nods, “Alright then. I will move him over near Dee and Remus for now. I think it will be good for him, given his current situation.”

            “Cool! Just bring them out when Roman comes down. We’ll all eat then!” Logan nods again as he carefully picks up the glass jar, and, moving much slower than Patton did, walks into the living room. He then places the jar down gently onto the same table as the previous day, where his leg was bandaged. Logan opens the jar, helps Virgil out, and walks out of the room, waving behind himself. On that table there is a terrarium and a fish tank, both of which have people moving around inside.

            Remus swims to the top of the tank and surfaces, “Good morning! Happy to see you still alive, good job!” Remus says to Virgil, a wicked smile on his face. Virgil wonders how many others had died by the hands of the humans he was trapped by.

            “Remus, don’t act like that.” Dee says, slithering on a wooden plank inside the terrarium. Virgil notes that it leads up out of the lid, meaning that the humans were kind enough to allow Dee free range. “You’re safe here, Virgil. They won’t hurt you.”

            All Virgil does to respond is nod, feeling too tired to properly respond. He hazily questions why until he looks up to see a heat lamp high above him, shining brightly over the table. It feels like heaven after the sleepless night he had, but he still fights to stay awake, afraid of what the humans will do to him if they find him asleep, especially if they found him asleep in a place he wasn’t supposed to be.

           “-you okay?” one of the men ask Virgil, snapping him out of his daze. Looking back to Dee, who is now on the top of the terrarium, Virgil silently nods his head, hoping that he interpreted the question properly. Dee then slithers down a second wooden plank on the outside of the terrarium and moves up to Virgil, who tries to scuttle back, only to trip over his bandaged leg. Hurrying over to him, Dee examines Virgil, only to notice the bags under the man’s eyes.

            “How long did you sleep last night?” Dee questions.

            Remus overhears the conversation and chimes in, “Oh, you’re in trouble!”

            Trying to ignore Remus, Virgil responds, “I didn’t really get that much sleep last night. Or any. At all.”

            Dee looks down at the shorter man, then says, “We are getting you to sleep right now.”             “But-”

            “Right now.” Dee reiterates, grabbing the short man’s hand and attempting to lead him up the wooden ramp. Virgil consistently stumbles over his bandaged leg until Dee lifts the man up around the waist, which was surprisingly easy to do. Dee noted how light the man was, knowing that it was unnatural, even for a man who was half spider. Once they are both inside the terrarium, Dee carries Virgil into a small cave that Roman had crafted for him. Inside of it is a small blanket, made for Dee to sleep on. Today it would serve a similar purpose, but instead of Dee sleeping on it, Virgil would be the one to use it. After placing the man down on top of the blankets, Dee stays with him until he falls asleep.

Taglist: @nephilion 

[lovedinapastlife]

Riverdale 3x16 - BIG FUN

BUGHEAD IS BEAUTIFUL~

Oh damn this episode is surreal in a way I’m not entirely comfortable with. But it’s exciting! Everyone’s looking forward to moving on from the craziness of dead bodies, breakups, and…drug trades. Amidst college and running businesses and stuff. Obviously. Normal high school stuff. Kinda reminds me of the nostalgia for season one.

Was the opening Mr. Musical Theater’s big number? Shucks, I wanted more of a sampling. This was mostly talk-singing, which…I’ll take. Kinda like the awkward rocking in the hallway haha.

Lili wearing green makes her eyes pop and my heart go poof. Similarly to Jughead’s adoring fuzzy feelings, I’m sure. DANG. They’re in HIS room now. Are they staying together?! Yay!

Aw I kinda like the idea that Betty and V would help Cheryl look and feel her best after being tossed over (ish)

I love the intros. “Bro it up. Two single straight dudes” like wow.

Chainsaw line is iconic, especially when moving to cut to the title. You think Kevin was subtly trying to dig at Cheryl for forcing him to cater to her?

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR - another theme of this season

Betty rolling her eyes is amazing.

I love that the girls choreo’d their own fanciness. I liked Cheryl’s batch better but tbh I didn’t enjoy the dance-off and it’s hair-whip noises. Maybe it was so hyped in the behind-the-scenes videos that I found myself cringing at the octopus moves? And Toni’s batch wasn’t in sync so it was that much more awkward to watch. But I did love the “SHUT UP, TONI!” and look B+V exchanged afterwards. Yeah just gonna say up front this episode react is probably not gonna sit well with Toni stans.

Hiram dropping dramatic family stuff and racking up a bill at the Five Seasons. Who would’ve thought he’d be the one to instigate that divorce, right? Veronica cries almost disturbingly well. I’m not sure why she’d want them to be together after the assassination attempts and affairs and general shenanigans, but hey—it’s Riverdale.

Oh god is Betty the only one who notices the death-blue drinks and scary Gargoyle Pig person? These kids are stupid. I did catch Sweet Pea/JD with his slurpee which made me happy. FREEZE YOUR BRAAAAAIN~ Judge away the whole party, Betty. They tend not to be great luck in this town.

“Brainiac?!” Did she just call Reggie that?! HA. Oh geez I hate Evelyn (but I love her flouncy scrunchie and graphic shirts) and I hate Kevin and their stupid cult and drugs. Why can’t brownies ever be normal on a teen show?! Also, HI MIDGE!

I do love the idea of throwing a party to take ownership of Sisters of Quiet Mercy. If only it wasn’t so cult-y. Why are there people in swimsuits in the drowning tub while Archie jumps over them? Also, drugged-up dancing got some good Kevin hip waggles and some yikes s1 arrogant Reggie vibes. But Veggie is on again for 30 seconds? Okay then.

Jughead eating in the background as Betty side-eyes the circle share is such a glorious mood. Aw and then hugs for V. I am LOVING this side-eye mood. How did people not know Archosie was happening when they were always in the practice room, at each other’s houses, and walking in the halls together? So much awkward is happening that the cringe levels are through the roof. Kevin’s hand on his heart was so over-the-top. I kinda loved it? And I’m surprised V didn’t have more of a reaction to the Archie stuff, tbh, even if she’s got bigger things on her mind.

Oh no Toni’s got a solo and it’s here for the color of blood. Literally. Is she pointing at their crotches? Ugh her stripping musical threesome was so insulting it made my stomach churn. They just tried to make it seem like Sweet Pea wants something deep and yet he’s ready for a random hookup again? Peaches hasn’t even had any lines or anything to do but stand around looking smug. They’re trying so hard to make Toni sexy and it’s just feeding the lesbian/bisexual slutty stereotype. Can this show do hookups? Ever? There’s been no sexual/attraction buildup to this “threesome” (honestly Toni hasn’t even been a good friend to SP lately) and there was no fallout afterwards either! She was just like, “COME STRIP ONSTAGE WITH ME and this other person you’ve never talked to but beat the shit out of you one time. Oh wait no I’m good with my clingy yet complimentary ghost gf, you two have fun byeeeee”

Jughead and Betty flirting makes me feel slightly better

OH GOD NO KANGS. At this point the bile I’d been suppressing was legit in my throat. Like, why does attraction/love have to be tied to something awful 90% of the time in this show? Kevin and Fangs could’ve been a cute couple if they built up their connection beyond two lines over the course of two seasons. But no. Cult psychedelic weirdness over Midge, just like Moose and Kevin. Maybe even over Joaquin. DO WE NOT LEARN? I’m not even gonna start with the Farmies.

Archosie scene. Fun spin dance, but I still think they’re cute paper cutouts of nothingness at this stage.

Oh, of COURSE Weatherbee joined a cult. Loser.

I love Cheryl’s Heather Chandler vibe and scrunchie. Good call about making Toni test the tea for poison. Aw, I kinda wanted to see Ghost!JJ.

I have basically a folder full of stills of this scene and narrowed it down to these. Aw baby Jug, Betty understands better than anyone what he’s going through. When Betty was trying to get Jughead to look at her I legit felt emotional. And then they were beautiful. Forever. WE FINALLY GOT THEM DANCING! Oh and on his knees! Proposal vibes! I might’ve watched this scene EIGHT BILLION times for the eyes and hands and general endless soulmate love vibes. Like, this scene made the episode for me. They were so emotional and invested and harmonized like angels and I needed that in my life so thank you, universe. I hope Cole and Lili get to do amazing scenes like this together in the future because it was beautiful.

Ch*ni kinda interrupted my mains with their totally different vibe and zero choreography, even though they did sound lovely. Neither of them have changed their behavior to make their relationship work internally, whereas Bughead are sick of the external forces of the town trying to destroy their childhood icons/innocence and bonding over their love for each other despite their familial madness. I need a Bughead exclusive soulmates cut. Thank you.

Haha um...I think closing the drug lab in general would be good? Maybe not during the musical when Betty might be vulnerable again (and the rest of Riverdale) but hey...it’s entirely possible it’s emotional and not logical of me to say that ;) Sheriff FP seems extremely unbothered by mobile drug labs in town so why should we be, right?

HIRAM! SAY IT LIKE IT IS! I love that he called out Veronica’s shock over Hermione trying to have him killed. Twice. How rude.

I actually really liked Cami’s interpretation of “Lifeboat.” It’s pretty, but I’m not sure it added much to her story? Same with her attempt to have her parents go to opening night together. Maybe that song is more of an overarching theme for her story this season. Ish? But she also distances herself from people? Mehhhh overanalyzing Riverdale hurts my brain. And then her ploy to have one last happy memory is just them not looking or talking at each other and she feels worse. Ouch.

Why is there so much old stereo equipment in their house? I know they worked at a garage/scrapyard, but I didn’t see any speakers? I care too much about set dressings but whatever. Poor FP is dealing with hazards of being on the job. Gladys had hilarious delivery like, “Oh nooooo. Drugs. That’s terrible.” Also, she’s totally drinking beer in front of him, a recovering alcoholic. Classy. And also telling. Jughead and Betty are just side-eyeing in the background.

Did Cheryl send herself all those roses?! XD I did think the “blot” moment was cute but I still don’t understand what’s changed. I don’t even know if Veggie is a thing. Probably not. Okay then. Did love Reggie looking in the handheld mirror totally in-character though.

I KNEW THEY’D BURN THE PLACE DOWN ONE DAY! Omg the puns. The fire extinguisher. The kiss—oh oh my. Arson and tender body touching. All right. I’m down. Do they have a car now? Is Bughead gonna live in it? I cannot handle their passion in the best way possible.

The finale choreography was terrible. Oh my god was that cringe. I mean, couldn’t we at least get them looking at each other for a sec like the adorable Bughead moment of holding hands? Or someone helping V when looking at her parents? I get that they’re entreating the audience to be better (like Betty’s speech a billion years ago), but it didn’t hit the mark with me for some reason. My expression was mostly a mix of the Jones’. Was it just me, or did everyone onstage look like they were in some range of pretending really hard not to feel uncomfortable?

HI CHAD! The cult is terrifying. Also, if all the psychos are there, why aren’t Alice and Polly in attendance? The woooooorst. Was no one else inclined to clap like a normal person? Evelyn in general was interesting, trying to earn her father’s approval and everyone’s trust, but it’s usually so messed up on drugs and stuff that I don’t quite enjoy her scenes. Everything with the Farm is usually deferred, which annoys me, but we’ll get our answers soon, I’m sure. I want more Chad. I’m curious if the buildup is gonna pay off ^-^

And people are going through windows next time?

I really wanted the “hell” line from Heathers when Bughead came back from burning stuff down but I will live. Okay. Put our bids in for next season’s musical now and how long it’s gonna take us to get a promise/engagement ring on Bughead. Thank you.

[dietaku]

Amazing Quest 1: Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Masochism meets Machismo The party is very violently ejected over the horizon. The camera pans overhead some distance to a small island out in the middle of the ocean, where we couldn't get previously, due to a coral reef and a dialog box explaining how there's a migratory wave of sea sponges and that it's highly illegal to interfere with their trek. The party comes crashing down through the roof of the inn, whereupon the innkeeper, a slim woman in a white-n-black horizontally striped shirt and a tilted beret rushes over. Unlike other characters in the game so far, this character and the others in this town have their dialog appear on-screen little by little, accompanied by a MIDI attempting to sound like bongo drums accompanying beat poetry, even if text speed is set to max. Innkeep: Whoa. Like... are you lot okay? Hiro: I... I think so... I think I have the right number of body parts remaining. Why does that keep happening? What even happened?! Ozma: Where are we...? Innkeep: Welcome, my groovy soul sisters, to Toneland. The hippest, most forward-thinking culture on the entire planet. You are safe here. Hiro: Thank goodness. Had we landed in enemy territory, we'd have been overtaken easily. Innkeep: I didn't mean you, man-ling. Hiro: Beg pardon? Innkeep: As I said, we are a forward-thinking culture, free from the restrictions placed upon us by the pale, patriarchal penis people! Hiro: I'm at a loss for words, I'm afraid. Innkeep: Good. Your ungroovy way of speaking is such a downer. Lucky for you, I'm bilingual, but the people of this country speak only Beat Poetry and Interpretive Dance. If you want to get anywhere, you'll need at LEAST a set of bongo drums and a beret. Hiro: … Loyroll, this one's all yours. Loyroll: Hiro, my friend, I'm just gay, not a beat poet. This game was actually considered extremely revolutionary because of this line, fun fact. So, now we can stay at the inn (if we put Ozma, Mancala, or Kimyawa on point to do so. She'll scoff at any attempt made by Hiro or Loyroll.) and if we do so, she'll actually explain our next steps. Kimyawa/Ozma/Mancala: So, where would we get bongos and a beret at this hour? Innkeep: Well, these items aren't just for sale, no ma'am. You'll need to find special, custom-made gear found only in select locations. Whichever Female: What locations are those? Innkeep: You'll know them by their extremely pretentious attitudes and the overpowering smell of overpriced coffee. That's all I can tell you for now. Here, an optional scene can cue, if you opted to raise Kimyawa in the virtual pet game instead of Stinky. Ozma: Okay, you heard her! Can you get the scent, girl? Kimyawa: Yip! Yip! Yip! Ozma: Okay? You got it? Go get it! Kimyawa: Yip! Yip! Kimyawa points to the west wall, with a MIDI of yipping cuing as she does so. Ozma: Good job! Mancala: West? Mermania is to the west... and they DO have overpriced coffee... it's a start... Ozma: One more question? Kimyawa: Hai? Ozma: What DOES the fox say? Kimyawa: It says “DON'T BE RACIST, YOU FUCK!” Ozma: I was just curious!!! Kimyawa then rushes over and climbs up, sitting on Loyroll's shoulder as she pouts. Loyroll: There, there, Kimyawa, I'll get you some ice cream. Kimyawa: Hai! Ice cream, desu! This was likely added to help players along, as this was otherwise a bit of a guessing game. When you leave town, the sea sponge migration has ended here, and you can freely go to Mermania again where there is, indeed, a coffee house. However, we have more pressing matters to attend to, and the plotline in ToneLand cannot be triggered until we do it: remember how Deima left before? Well, we need to go get her again, this time permanently. So, remember where you found her the first time? The Aero Spire? Guess where we're going? This time, however, we can walk in and find her in her bed, asleep. Hiro: … Deima, are you serious? Kimyawa: Deima-chan, wake up! The game devs almost forgot to put you in this chapter! Deima's hand raises up, pointing to a note, on the far wall. Hiro goes over to it. Hiro: It says “I am asleep, due to a horrible curse, and only a noble knight's kiss can undo the spell.” Wait, this wasn't here before! Hiro flips the note over. Hiro: “And no amount of sass will get you around it, either.” This sure was a well thought-out hoax... Well, obviously, it should be... At this point, we're prompted to pick one of our party members. -If you pick Hiro- Hiro: What?! Why me?! I'm not really “noble” and I'm not a “knight” strictly speaking, as that mandates being, y'know, knighted. By, like, royalty. Loyroll: Well, Ozma's royalty. So, doesn't that, by extension, make you her knight? Hiro: Err, well... um... oh, fine. Hiro goes to Deima, visibly taking in a deep breath. Hiro: Only because it's helping someone. It's helping someone in need, right? Kimyawa: (Yeah, helping with Deima's adult needs...) Hiro bends down and pecks her on the cheek. He then rises and waits a moment. Hiro: … ? Did it not work? Maybe I'm under-qualified for the position after all. Deima: Seriously, that's all I get?! Not even on the mouth?! Hiro: … Oh yay. Deima is now safe. Clearly this was in no way predictable. Deima: AND WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SASS?! I mean-- the note... say about sass! I swear, every frickin' time the world is in danger from some amorphous evil entity, you come crawling to me like “OH NOES, SAVE US DEIMA-SAMA” and then I'm all “A'ight, bitches, stand aside!” and then we win, and then you bastards shack up with the nearest princess you can find and I'm left with reruns of the WWE! There is no justice in this universe!! -If you pick Ozma- Ozma: Okay, baby, here I come! Hiro: Say what? Ozma just grabs Deima's head and locks lips with her rather... roughly. Deima visibly flails her arms helplessly here. After a few moments, Deima goes blue and her eyes roll back in her head as she goes limp. At this point, Ozma releases her. Ozma: Fuwaaa! So, that's what you get for being stupid about this. Deima: uuuuuuuuungh... Loyroll: You do realize that, someday, you will die of a broken pelvis, right? Hiro: What...? -If you pick Kimyawa- Kimyawa: Eeeeeeh?! Watashi?! B-but I've never kissed a boy before! … Wait! She's a GIRL! Therefore, it's alright! Okay! I'll do my very best!! Kimyawa ninja-warps atop Deima's bed. She chucks a smoke pellet to the ground, which grays them out for a moment. When the smoke screen dies down, Kimyawa her has hands on each side of her face, blushing. Deima is sitting upright, a shocked expression on her face. Deima: W-what... just happened to me...? And why am I okay with it? Kimyawa: Kawawawawawa! -If you pick Loyroll- Loyroll: Ugh. Must I? Very well, but you owe me for this... Deima: HEY! ASSHOLE! Kissing me is a PRIVILEGE! Loyroll: Huh?! You want -ME- to kiss -YOU-?! … Fine. I shall do so with the utmost in style and grace, but purely to prove a point. Deima: Huh? Loyroll leans in and a brief animation of him licking Deima's nose plays. Deima: … AAAAAAAAAAAAA--!!! Loyroll: Yup. Still got it. -If you pick Mancala- Mancala: Wait, ME?! Why me?! Ugh. I already told you, I'm only a LITTLE into girls! Fine, fine... Mancala climbs astride Deima and... gets a little too into it. Hiro: You can stop now. It said just to kiss her, not to play tonsil hockey. Mancala: Sorry, I started thinking of all the MONEY this scene alone could make me in the long-run, and it just got my motor going! Deima: Is that all I am to you?! Just a cash cow?! … Well, okay, but I better get a cut too. Loyroll: Something-something-there certainly IS a cow involved-something. Mancala: Trying to cut into MY bottom line? Um, sorry, it's not me, it's you... Sadly, the New Game+ characters don't get their own scenes. God only knows what would happen if you tried to make Deima make out with herself. At any rate, Deima rejoins! This time for keeps. And, at long last, you may return to Mermania. Inside the coffee shop, you'll see a merman barkeep and we'll need to speak to him. Mancala: Yo, barkeep. A thimble of coffee with three layers of foam and cinnamon sprinkled on top! Barkeep: That'll be 25,000 currencies. Mancala: Ooo, must have a sale on right now! Barkeep: What do you want, Manny? Last time I worked with you, I spent 4 months in community service before I could re-apply for my vendor's license. Mancala: The past is in the past! Barkeep: It was FOUR MONTHS AGO! Mancala: God, you're so overly pedantic... I just need to know where I can get my hands on a set of bongos. You gonna tell me or do I need to tell the health department that you spell it “expresso”? Barkeep: Th-there's no need to get violent! You did not hear this from me, but in the kelp fields to the north-east, there's a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy... you can get your damnable bongos there. Now, out. I don't want the fuzz to think I'm still on-board with your schemes. Mancala: Thank you~! Hiro: Mancala, what kind of schemes is he on about? Ozma: Gee, I dunno. Maybe like the time she shilled us and then sold us for chump change to the village head. Mancala: The past is in the past! Let's go to the kelp fields! The kelp fields were an area we could've visited prior to now, but the enemies would've been too strong, and there wouldn't have been anything there but a few mundane healing items in chests for our trouble. Once we have this bit of intel, we can go there and a blue whale, with a beret not dissimilar to the ones seen in Toneland, and Otto the Octopus await us! Hiro: Oh no, not him again! Otto: Thaaaaaaaaat's right~! Me again! Let's welcome our very special guests, the Pudding Hero and his friends~! A burst of confetti rains down as the weird, pixelated fish come on screen, and shake in wild applause again. Loyroll: That will never cease to mystify, will it? Kimyawa: Etto... The fish then retreat to whence they came. Otto: Today's Lucky Bonus Challenge is a competition of luck and reflex to get your very own custom-fit BONGO DRUM SET! Today, Hiro's challenger is none other than Wally Whale. Give it up for our competitors. Hiro: Is this actually happening, or has my life become a long-running fever dream? Ozma: Should I pinch you to find out? Hiro: I-I'd really rather you didn't, actually! Hiro hurriedly runs to the stool on the opposite side of the table from Wally and sits down. Wally: Oh-ho?! You're my challenger, ehh?! Hiro: He just said you're my-- Wally: WELL I WON'T GO DOWN EASY, Y'HEAR?! Hiro: I do hear you, I'm less than four feet away. There's really no need to yell at-- Wally: I WILL CRUSH YOU WITH MY FINS OF IRON AND MY BUNS OF STEEL! Ozma: Do... do whales HAVE buns? Loyroll: The things that keep me awake at night... Otto: Today's Super Lucky Bonus Challenge is... BINGO!!! Kimyawa: Bingo? That boring game obaa-chan liked? Otto: A game of luck! A thrilling game of chance and challenge! Hiro: There's... literally no challenge, it's blind lu-- Wally: YEEEEEEAH! LET'S ROOOOOCK!!! This minigame is... dumb. I hate to say it but... it is. I even tried abusing this with save states, but the RNG is not player-friendly. You begin by picking one of three 5x5 bingo cards with the Griffohump, Stinky, as your FREE space in the center square. Then Otto reads out numbers and you must, manually, move Hiro's hand in order to place blue tokens on your card. You can do this to also remove them if you place them in the incorrect spot (and you will, as Hiro places the tokens slightly lower than his fingers, aimed more under his palm, which the player cannot see for obvious reasons). Otto also does this SLIGHTLY faster than the player can be expected to keep pace, as Hiro's hand moves very slowly during this bit. The devil of it is that if the card is incorrect in any way (such as having a token in a number not called, or not having a token in a space that was called, even if these have no impact of the result of the game) you lose, EVEN IF YOU GET THE BINGO FIRST!!! Oh my God, this is nothing but a colossal timesink! But, eventually, if you keep trying at it, you will inevitably win or go crazy. One or the other. On the bright side, losing just resets the game and you try again. Otto: WE HAVE A WINNER!!! HIRO!!! Hiro: … Um. I'm glad. So, do I get the bongos no-- Wally: NOOOOOOO WAAAAAAAAY!!! YOU CHEATED! Hiro: How do you propose I did so? Wally: I'LL CRUSH YOU! Hiro: Wait, what?! -Boss Fight!- Wally Whale LP: 12,000 MP: 5000 This battle hits most by surprise, especially as there's random encounters and no save spot in this area, and Hiro is forced into this on a one-on-one here, hence his vastly lowered HP. Wally mostly relies on his single-punch attack which does decent damage, but will sometimes shake it up with his Aquatic Qualer attack, which oddly enough, is coded to hit All Targets, meaning it always deals 75% damage, making it weaker than his punch. Hiro can't use his swirls here, meaning that you'll be just attacking normally. Low level runners typically find this infuriating, however. I guess Jeffcom just hates them. Grinding is love, grinding is life. Using your Rice Pudding form has Wally call you a “Huge Nerd” and bolsters his attack strength by 25%. -Boss Fight!- Wally: NOOOOO-- Wally then explodes. Hiro: … Well, alright then. So, do I get the bongos or not? Otto: Here you go! Hiro gets the key item: Custom Bongos! Hiro: While I'm here anyway, do you know where I could get a ber-- Otto: AND THERE YOU HAVE IT, FOLKS! Let's have a big ol' round of sound for our champion gameshow hero, Hiro! Cue the shaking, pixel fish. Kimyawa: I will be seeing them in my nightmares, no doubt. Hiro: Are we done here? Otto: That's a wrap everyone! Good job! Otto then scurries off-screen. Hiro: Now what do we do? Loyroll: When the path forward is blocked, the logical thing to do is double back to where we were before and see if new doors haven't opened to us in lieu of the closed one. Kimyawa: Onii-chan, you just mean you have no idea so we need to just try every option until something works! Loyroll: Yes, but I said it more eloquently, dear sister. Ho-ho! And this is the part that drove most players insane. You actually DO need to backtrack. … To FirstTown. Yes. Remember some 20-25 hours ago, where the game started? That's where we need to go next. “Haha!” I hear some of you say, “I've been level grinding and now Mancala has the TownStep ability, meaning I can just instantly warp there! Joke's on you!” well, I hate to break it to you, but you can't do that. You haven't slept in FirstTown's inn. You've either had the elder heal you or sleep in Hiro's bed... which the game doesn't register, on account that the inn was destroyed. “W-well, I'll just warp to the nearest town and, uh...” suddenly, you realize the problem as most of the towns we've visited thus far as now piles of rubble. Some of them because of us! … So, better get to walkin', champ. You'll find the nearest town is Toruble, which isn't as awful as walking there from Mermania, but isn't exactly next-door either, as Hiro got sped there via flight. But when we get there at this point, it's actually rebuilt and has an inn and everything! When you arrive, a cutscene cues even! Hiro: Elder! I return triumphant! With my allies in tow, I-- The Elder is speaking to a young boy, with a sword slung over his shoulder. Elder: So, with our previous “last hope” likely dead and buried, we need you, Ladd, to bravely go forth and-- OH! HIRO! The Elder very quickly kicks the boy into the nearest door and stands in front of it. Elder: Ho-ho! Good jokes! Hiro: … Ozma: Oh dear... I think what little ego he managed to grow over this journey just came crashing down... Do you need a hug? Hiro: Yes. All of them. Bring it in here, you guys. Yes, even you, Loyroll. The party briefly encircles Hiro, who jumps a little. The party steps back. Hiro: Okay, that was super sweet, up until someone pinched my butt. Just... if you raise your hand and confess, I won't get mad. Who dun it? Everyone in Hiro's party raises their hand. Hiro: I lied, I'm kind of mad now. Elder: What a... pleasant surprise to see you, Hi-- Hiro: CAN IT, OLD MAN!!! Do you know what I've been THROUGH?! Do you know how many of my fellow Puddings I've had to KILL?! That kid? That CHILD?! You think he can HACK IT?! I'VE SEEN PEOPLE EXPLODE!!! EXPLODE!!! Can you explain that?! I don't think you can!!! Or are you gonna feed me yet another non-answer, like when Emilia tried to explain puberty to me by calling it a “Witch's Curse” that I'd have to shoulder like some kind of monkey's paw wish?! OH! And the PROPERTY DAMAGE! I hope the world has an insurance policy taken out against me, because Lulz knows they FREAKING NEED IT ABOUT NOW!!! Have YOU even seen a town come caving in around you when you were just minding your own business? It's like the gods themselves are saying “Hey, did you get all the items and side quests from this place? Golly, I sure hope so, 'CUZ IT'S FALLING FASTER THAN THE COMMODITY MARKET!!! Oh, and my PUDDING MORPH?! You guys didn't even EXPLAIN IT TO ME CORRECTLY! Oh my G-- where do I even START there?! My Rice Pudding form LOWERS MY STATS?! And I can FUSE with people?! DID SOMEONE THINK TO EXPLAIN THAT PART TO ME?! NO?! CUZ I HAD THE SOUL OF ONE OF MY ANCESTORS ASK ME TO BARTER MY FRIENDS' LIVES TO FIND OUT!!! Just... Lulz damn it, old man!!! Elder: I don't suppose I could bribe you with a sammich? Hiro: Just... stop talking. In fact, don't talk to me. Ever. You're dead to me, old man. Elder: Oh, poop. I guess I shouldn't tell you about the lost treasures of our tribe then... 'cuz, I had them out on a rowboat, and suddenly, this beautiful mermaid comes out of nowhere and I... kind of dropped them. And due to mermaid magic, they all ended up in different bodies of water across the planet. Hiro: [High-pitched, pathetic whine] Elder: Totally not my fault, though! I was keeping them for, y'know, safe-keeping! So, let me make it up to you by teaching you an ancient pudding technique! Hiro: Sigh. Okay, old man, it's not like I have a choice, given I live in your house. What's the technique? Elder: The Pudding Tribe prides itself on their masterful fishing ability! Hiro: Hm. I could lose a few hours of my life doing this... Elder: And some years too! Hiro: Pardon? Elder: We don't use like, sticks or twine or anything stupid like that. We place our arms in the water and flail them about helplessly until something takes a bite! In which case, we pull them out via brute force! And that's how you go fishing! Hiro: … Wh-why is everything our tribe do STUPID?! Elder: My boy, my boy... have you never considered that, maybe, uh, one cow says unto another... um... w-well, maybe it's the nature of our clan in that we... err... w-well, I bet you'd be PERFECTLY HAPPY being one of our Dark Pudding brothers! Shall I get you your own little jackboots so you can stomp all over the little guy's freedom?! Hiro: Oh, Lulz help me... Elder: Oh, and one more thing. Hiro: W-what? Elder: I turned your bedroom into my exercise room! Hiro: But what happened to my comics and action figures?! Elder: Those were all destroyed in the house fire! Hiro: Noooooooooooooo-- ugh-- my life's a joke. Hiro obtained: Crippling Depression! This isn't a special attack or item or anything. It's a status. Hiro is depressed and this lasts a while. It will randomly interrupt normal attacks with “Hiro assumes fetal position and weeps openly about the future of his clan”. Even Ozma's otherwise extremely potent “Qipao BoinBoin” technique won't cure this, nor will Kimyawa's “Fox Massage”. However, this only lasts a set number of battles before he shrugs this off, so it's better to get this as early as possible and get it out of the way. It's just another reason this fetch quest is considered the worst of all of Amazing Quest's. Anyways, now we can sleep in the inn here, making it so we can warp here at-will and sleep at an inn for just 5 gold! This is also the town where the other coffee house has now appeared and the server here is not only a unique sprite, she eventually returned in Amazing Quest's sister series, AQ: Coke Float, Lady L. Lady: Welcome to the new FirstTown Coffee Hut: FarLucks! I'm the hostess, Lady! How can I help you? Loyroll: I'll have an inside-out pudgy brunette frappe with extra caramel machiatto blasse half caf. Hiro: Uh, did you ask for coffee or a girlfriend? Loyroll: Did I or did I not already explain my preferences to you, Hiro? Oh, I can't stay mad at you... Loyroll pinches Hiro's cheek. Hiro: Bleeeeeeh... Kimyawa: Etto... we're looking for a beret, kinda like the one you're wearing! Lady: Oh, I got mine by getting a dream cookie. Kimyawa: Ettoooooooo... Hiro: So, where do we get one of those? Lady: Oh, it's not that simple. You need the dream cookie, and then you go to the birdhouse at the Edge of Tomorrow. Hiro: Are we SURE this isn't a fever dream? Ozma: I already pinched your butt! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! Kimyawa: Demo, Ozma-chan, dane, dane! Yamate! Hiro: … Uh, right-o then. So, this, uh, Dream Cookie... Lady: Right, you get that by going to the World Tree and sleeping in the cocoon of the Grand Empress Butterfly. Simple as that. Hiro: I... where's... that...? Lady: Just head north and keep on walking. Can't miss it. Hiro: Right. Thanks... So, head north and you'll find a handy bridge linking you to a small island that was previously inaccessible. There, you'll find a huge tree and a path formed from criss-crossing roots you can traverse. Some minor insect monsters appear here, but none are too terribly bothersome. Not that Munchkin Moths, Kittypillers, and Were-Ants are all that threatening to start, but eventually, you'll see a massive, silk structure dangling from a branch above. Hiro: O... kay. I guess this is it. Can I get a boost? Ozma and Kimyawa grab and toss Hiro up into it. Hiro: Um... Mancala: So, how is it? Hiro: Warm, I guess? … Kinda damp? Not so wild about that. But I guess I'll catch a quick power nap... The scene goes sepia, where Hiro is sitting in a field with Emilia, having a picnic. Hiro: Wow. I'm spending quality time with my sister and I'm not being violently brained or ridiculed! This is going great! Emilia: Hiro... Hiro... Hiro... Hiro...! Hiro: WHAT?! Hiro snaps awake, blinking a few times. Hiro: Oh, c'mon! That was IT?! I finally get a NICE sepia tone flashback and that's the extent?! Nothing even really happened! The narrator just claimed some stuff happened! Loyroll: That's not important, my friend, did it work? Hiro: Umm...? Hiro reaches atop his head, where a cookie sits. Hiro: Apparently, it did! Hiro got Dream Cookie. He then climbs down from the sack. Insert joke of choice here. But as he does, a shrill sound plays. Hiro: Wait, what was--? A massive, purple butterfly dives down, engaging the party! -Boss Fight!- Empress Butterfly LP: 30000 MP: 7000 The obnoxious part of this fight is that this bitch can spam pretty much every ailment with its [Ailment] Pollen attacks, which it brandishes with abandon. Ozma and Kimyawa are basically not optional for this fight if you want a chance of not getting ailment'd to death. Its means of dealing direct damage are quite limited, sans its “Antenna Wave” which hits everyone for wind based damage. However, using Ozma and Kimyawa's earth-based techs or Ozma's pudding swirl and exploiting its naturally low physical defense is the way to go. -Boss Fight!- Hiro: That was non-sequitor. Loyroll: There's no helping it. Let us return to the cafe for further clues! And... well, do so! There, Lady will fill us in more. Lady: Great! You got the dream cookie! Hiro: Did YOU have to fight a giant bug to get one? Lady: No, why? Hiro: Just asking. Lady: Now, you need to go to the Edge of Tomorrow. Kimyawa: You mean like staying up all night and playing truth or dare and waiting until midnight? Lady: Uh, no, not so much. I'd be lying to say I didn't try that too, but the Edge of Tomorrow is a real place! What happened in Girl Pudding Summer Camp STAYS in Girl Pudding Summer Camp... A-anyway, the Edge of Tomorrow is the deepest portion of the ocean floor: The Marinara Trench! Hiro: Wait, did you get underwater?! Lady: Oh, that part of the ocean isn't underwater. Hiro: WHAT?! Lady: Did I stutter? It's the MARINARA TRENCH. It's not water, it's tomato sauce. Everyone knows that, geez. Did you fail geography? It's consistently ranked in the top 8 deliciously deadly dungeons to die for! Or in. Either or. Mancala: Actually, I'm pretty sure I know where that is. Deima: Wow, you're gonna help and NOT shill us? Mancala: Hey, hey, I can be a very generous spirit when so inclined. Hiro: That and you're probably afraid of Ozma turning you into a flail again. Kimyawa: Mm. Sashimi desu! Mancala: W-well, you can't be too careful! Let's go! So, thankfully, we can actually warp to Mermania for this part rather than walking again. You then need to head south towards a red cave. If you had tried to come here before, you would be warned that you had not taken your heart burn medication and would be turned around. Venturing in now, however, will start ramping up the difficulty a bit with the likes of Meatball Munchkins, Spaghetti Serpents, and Ravioli Ravagers and they do love them the Red ailment among their numbers. The upside is this is the first real opportunity to level in this chapter, as it's the first set of monsters that are scaled to where we oughta be by now and they drop copious amounts of Cooled Hankies, which relieve red in a single target. The problem you'll face is the cracks in the floor which blast up with, uh, sauce and deals damage if you're caught in them. The dungeon is fairly simple otherwise, if a bit long. When you get to the end, you'll encounter a massive cliff, dropping into oblivion. Hiro: So... where's the birdhouse? The screen rumbles as a massive, golden, crispy squid rises from below, a birdhouse perched atop its spear-shaped head. Hiro: Oh. -Boss Fight!- The Great Calamari LP: 40000 MP: 3500 Tentacles (x2) LP: 10000 MP: 0 This deep-fried fishy fiend is a little tricky in that it's multi-bodied. The tentacles try to swat you, and lower accuracy with their base attack, so they have to go first. If they peg you a few times, don't panic, as the accuracy reduction wears off over time. The head itself has good defense against magic and physical attacks, but none of his attacks are too overwhelming, even his strongest move – Marinara Madness – deals only passable damage. If you take out his tentacles first, you shouldn't have too much trouble, but if they decide to be particularly petulant, this fight can drag out. The best thing to remember is that accuracy is reset if Hiro swirl-fuses or un-fuses with party members. -Boss Fight!- Great Calamari: Heroes of Destiny, you have proven your mettle before the Baron Calamari, and I offer you the Birdhouse of your Soul. Do as you see fit. Hiro: Uh. Right. Thanks. Loyroll: That's pretty deep. Deima: About 20,000 leagues, I'd wager. Hiro walks up to the birdhouse and puts the cookie in. After a moment, we hear a “crunch-crunch” sound and out pops a beret! Hiro: There are no words. Hiro obtains: Beret! Now that we have these, we can return to Toneland and finally start the chapter proper. Oh, and by the way, you've finished all these side quests now, right? Just so you know, there's a shop keeper on the far-right-hand side who sells the Beret and Bongos for a price. Just FYI. Maybe now you'll learn to explore under your own power first BEFORE just asking a guide what to do. But I doubt it. At any rate, we can buy some weapon and armor upgrades at long last, usually themed as Musc[Weapon] and ToneDresses, as the shops do not carry armor for the guys. At this point, we need to go up to the castle in the north end of town and the Queen's Assistant, Nagi. Nagi: Oh, thank the gods! Some sucke-- I mean-- some blessed visitors from beyond the sea, here to aid us in our time of crisis! Mancala: Do we really owe these broads anything? They haven't really been super helpful thus far... Ozma: As princess of House Toruble, I cannot overlook a crisis to a nation that might be in need. We need to hear them out. Nagi: You see, the Queen... she has become completely smitten with a Dark Pudding general! And now she aims to just hand over one of ToneLand's sacred treasures! Ozma: It almost feels wrong, though, to interrupt a young love... Hiro: After seeing the kind of work they do, I have a hard time believing that this “love” is anything but one-sided. Nagi: The one with the poor taste in gender is, and I say this begrudgingly, correct. Hiro: I... didn't have a say in what I was born as-- Nagi: STOP TRYING TO MANSPLAIN TO ME!! God, can you man-lings not go 5 minutes without trying to oppress someone?! Hiro: I-- this is not helping my inferiority complex. At all. Ozma: Casual sexism aside, what can we do to stop them? After all, a woman's heart is fickle, but determined. If she has her eyes on someone, telling her she's wrong will only provoke her to pursue it more doggedly. Kimyawa: Maybe we could, uh, “liberate” the treasure first? What even is it? Nagi: Why, the sacred ancient treasure of ToneLand is (wait for it...) the Wind Talisman! Ozma: Gasp! Hiro: Who even sa-- no, wait, did that joke already. Disregard. Nagi: But it'd be better if you took it, frankly. The problem is that only the Royal Family can access the Royal Vault, using the Royal Tattoo! Loyroll: Sounds very royal. Nagi: It is, my strangely-attractive misogynist! Loyroll: Excuse me? Nagi: The Royal Tattoo is branded on the Princess each generation. Mancala: Oh, like, on her hand or arm or something? Nagi: No, on her ass. All: … Kimyawa: Etto... Hiro: Boy, this turned awkward quick. Nagi: However, there is a way! We must... PEEP ON HER IN THE BATH! Hiro: Actually, I have an idea, if I may: if someone has to tattoo the princess each generation, doesn't that mean there's some tattoo artist on this island that already knows the passcode hanging around somewhere? Nagi: You're saying words, but I do not understand, due to your gruff, oppressive speech. Hiro: I give up. Kimyawa: It'll cause a riot if nii-chan-tachi go in directly. We should cause a distraction instead, and allow the boys to peep properly. Hiro: What? I was thinking that Loyroll and I would be the distraction! Loyroll: Indeed, why are you giving us the boring job, dear sister? Kimyawa: It's funnier and adheres to shounen manga tropes better this way! Hiro: Must I? Kimyawa: Also, it's gonna be hilarious when Ozma-onee-chan gets super pissed off! See, nii-chan and I have a bet to see how many bricks she can break in one punch. I'm thinking 20-ish, but he says it's around 15. So if I get her REALLY mad... Hiro: Ulp... So the party splits here. You take control of Hiro and Loyroll for a grand total of 10 seconds, as you go through a side path that Nagi gestures toward. When you do so, the game suddenly swaps to Ozma, Kimyawa, Deima, and Mancala who move to the right-hand side through a door that was locked previously. When you do, prepare for the mindfuck because the “distraction” portion of this plan is them putting on an opera, recreating the love story between the Queen and the Dark Pudding who is, in fact, Jaydea. Yeah, the localized version of the game leaves this tidbit out, but this is a lesbian love affair (as if ToneLand has anything but, but I digress). In the Japanese version, the point is to pick the line that forms a proper, thematic haiku. This... does not translate well at all, as this instead becomes a one-liner-off between Ozma wearing one of the princess' dresses (stretched to capacity), and Kimyawa in an outfit not unlike Jaydea's (equally at its limit), while Mancala and Deima run around the stage, doing the special effects. The song eventually degrades into a rap battle, with Ozma and Kimyawa trying to out-white-girl each other. It is a thing of beauty and at the same time, horrible. Ozma: Ya, mon! Kimyawa: Aww, hell naw! Mancala: We are getting paid for this, right? Ozma: Naw, mon! Mancala: Dammit. Once you have lost 30 minutes of your life re-doing this segment, because let's be honest: no guide can help you here... you then get a timer for Hiro and Loyroll's segment. The better you did (whatever arbitrary criterion the game uses to gauge that) dictates how much time you have to peep. Hiro and Loyroll crawl behind some potted plants and hunker down. Hiro: I feel like I need to be arrested for this. Loyroll: Think about it this way: you could be playing the SuperWorld Urania games. Hiro: Yes, that would make me feel much worse. I suppose given that, I should be grateful. Loyroll: Ah, here she comes now. Prepare your short-term memory, my friend! Here, the game goes into a... very uncomfortable first-person view, sort of like the movie-made-game, Triassic Zoo, and you have to time when you pop from your hiding spot to get a glance at her rear end. You can't actually SEE the code in this format, as this is the limited SNES rendering capacity, it's more like looking at two peaches combat a Mode 7 block of blue. By, uh... humping the bajeezus out of it. The point is, by seeing her butt, you fill a meter at the bottom and when it caps out, you're done with this quest and the SNES's limited online capability automatically registers you to the FBI sex offenders registry as a convenient step! Welcome to 1992! The internet is already here! Hiro: I feel unclean. Loyroll: Ass do I. Hiro: What? Loyroll: I agreed with you. Hiro: You said “ass”. Loyroll: I did no such thing! Hiro: Butt you did! Loyroll: You just spelled “butt” wrong! Hiro: I did not. I derriere say you're trying to-- Loyroll: Derriere? Really now? Hiro: Dammit, I did say that, didn't I? Loyroll: … Let's agree to never speak of this again. Hiro: Agreed. The two depart and the party reunites back in the main floor area, meeting Nagi there. Ozma: So, that was degrading in ways I never knew possible... Mancala: But we're getting rave reviews! Kimyawa: Did nii-chan-tachi get the code?! Loyroll: We did. In order: Green, Blue, and Red. Hiro: Y'know, we probably could've just... guessed that. Nagi: Quickly, while the castle is still distracted. Now is our chance! Nagi then automatically guides you to the vault. There, Hiro enters the code. Hiro: Alright, that should do it. … Why isn't anything happenin-- Suddenly, four suits of armor that line the walls rush out and surround the party. Hiro: What the--?! A trap?! Nagi: A security measure! That must not be the code... wait, I get it! Because it's on her ass, she has to put the code in INSIDE-OUT! Mancala: Of course! It's brilliant! That way, only by getting her head out of her own ass can this plotline go forward! Hiro: What?! Suddenly, guards and the Queen storm in. Queen: How dare you! You were going to try to steal my sacred treasure, my gift to my one and only Jay-bird?! Mancala: You nicknamed her? Really? Queen: Your entire drama troupe is TOTALLY getting a bad review on Telp now!! Hiro: Listen, your highness, it's just that-- Queen: Look, he's totally oppressing me! YOU SEE IT, DON'T YOU?! Deima: Oh gods above, shut your face. Or your ass. I frankly can't see a difference in the two. And believe me, I got a good look at both! You're so self-righteous and full of yourself you can't even see that you're being played for a sucker! Queen: But Jaydea and I are gonna get Mormonly married and then we're gonna have all of the babies!! Deima: I... I'm ignoring that entire sentence for your benefit. But beyond that, if the Dark Puddings get what they want, you won't have the CHANCE! They're going to bring a great and terrible evil into this world! No one will be getting married and living happily ever after if they get the talismans! Be a good little girl and just give it to us nice and easy, or else aunt Deima is gonna have to-- Queen: You old sow! You wouldn't know what it's like to be loved, you furry fossil! Deima: DA FUQ YOU JUST SAY, HO?! Now, at this point in the SNES version, the screen just whites out and implied Deima cast a spell. In the GBA remake, we actually get an amusing cutscene that accompanies this moment, as we fly-on-the-wall over to Jaydea's crew, riding an airship towards ToneLand. Jaydea: ETA? Guard: About 30 minutes to ToneLand, Lady Jaydea! Jaydea: Excellent. I'll have that Wind Talisman in no time at all! Guard: Ma'am! A quick update! Jaydea: What is it? Guard: The palace, it appears to be... A huge, white laser flies by the side window, evaporating birds that were previously flying in the background. Guard: Exploding. Jaydea: … [Sigh]. Okay, guys. Executive decision. Turn around. We're going back. Forward a message to Lord Zoddon to stop by a MockBuster and rent something steamy for this weekend; no one's getting laid tonight. Guard: The one with the, quote, “Hunky German Guys”? Jaydea: That's the ticket. Back to the party, with the vault room now in ruins. The armor suits are laid to waste and the vault door is just gone now. Deima's hair is erratic and unkempt, as the women are running around the room wildly as Hiro and Loyroll stand a safe distance away. Deima has the Queen in a headlock. Deima: SAY IT! SAY IT!!! HOW OLD AM I?! Queen: T-t-twenty-five!!! Deima: DAMN STRAIGHT!! Hiro: Should... we be doing something? Loyroll: I strongly advise against that, friend. And ruin my hair? Not on your life. Kimyawa: Deima-chan! Stop! Onegai! The whole building'll come down! Ozma: Are you crazy?! Stop it already!!! Deima: I'mma kill this ho! She's more pathetic and pandering than Kimyawa! Kimyawa: HEY! I only pander a LITTLE! … A lot. A LOTTLE! At least I'm not some roided-up amazon! Seriously, who's fetish is she trying to appeal to?! Don't tell me you can get abs you grate cheese on just by doing sit-ups and drinking juice! You should get a cute, smooth tummy like mine! Ozma: The HELL you just say?! You can't even get your top in a top! If you wanna talk about fake body parts... Kimyawa: GASP!!! MY OPPAI ARE NATURAL!!! YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!! You bring shame upon Kimyawa's okaa-san! Mancala: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING HALF THE TIME! Are you literate?! Hiro: This is seriously going to Hell. C'mon, Loyroll, let's grab the talisman and just leave. Loyroll: Slight problem with that... Ozma: Where do you two think YOU'RE going?! Stand up for my honor! Hiro: Err... Kimyawa: Onii-chan! SAIKYOU NO SENSHI! Loyroll: Oh dear... Mancala: I'll pay you 30 zenny and three photos of Ozma in the buff if you side with me instead. Deima: Hiro! Be a man! Pick a side! Hiro: WHAT?! Why does this chapter hate me?! The game pull a fast one here by presenting you a five-way prompt, the options being: I side with Ozma I side with Kimyawa I side with Mancala I side with Deima or I have three remaining transformations! But you don't actually get the chance to pick any of these as the prompt is immediately taken away from you. The astute hex editors among you will notice that even if you did try to run the prompt, it'll just cue the next event anyway. The camera pans up a little, above the dust cloud the cat fight erupts into as Ceuri, one of the Heavenly Kings of the Dark Puddings, casually strolls right in and grabs the Wind Talisman from the vault stand. Ceuri: Thanks for the gift! Bye-bye now! Hiro: No! That was one of the Dark Puddings we saw!! Girls! Girls, stop! We have bigger problems to deal with!! Ozma: We sure DO! How do you even stand upright with that frame, you damned coconut tree?! Mancala: Don't talk smack to her, you roid-raging berserker! You have like the second-largest melons in this game!! Kimyawa: Baka! Baka! Jealousy is NOT kawaii! Deima: Hey, all this in-fighting gives me an idea for a new attack! I call this Hissatsu Zenkai Suki!!! Hiro: DEIMA, NO!!! And the entire screen whites out with a violent explosion sound effect. You're then informed that Deima's hilariously over-powered Hissatsu Zenkai Suki attack is unlocked now. The scene fades back in with the party in the castle's traction ward, everyone laid out. Deima: Gela-gela-gela! That was fun! We really needed to get that inter-party tension out! Loyroll: You're insane. You nearly killed us all, y'know... Ozma: But I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel rather refreshed after all that. Kimyawa: Hai! Mancala: Now that you mention it... Here, we're informed that the new team-wide attack Girl Power (JP: Lovely Dancing Cherry Blossom Unyielding Death Force) has been unlocked. You can use it when your front line is the four ladies of our party. It deals massive, non-element magic damage to all enemies and runs the risk of inflicting Red on enemies. Hiro: Not my idea of fun. And because we were busy bickering amongst ourselves, they got away with the Wind Talisman! Loyroll: A most un-fabulous turn of events, put mildly. What's the plan? Hiro: This can't be ignored. We'll have to pursue. Nagi walks in from the door. Nagi: We're, uh, awful sorry for the turn of events. Here. Take this. Hiro gets the Dreamcatcher Mirror. Hiro: This is...? Nagi: It allows one to view and to subsequently enter peoples dreams. It is a legendary artifact and treasure of our kingdom and my small way of saying: please, never come here again. You are officially persona au gratin. Hiro: But that means-- Mancala: Shh. Just... let her dream. At this point, there's actually two last areas in this chapter and we can tackle them in basically any order we want. But let's the worse of the two first and get it out of the way. But first, to ease our pain, we can go noodling in a nearby well and find the PDGShld for Hiro. If we travel to the river encircling Toruble, we can also get the PGDArmr for him. There will be more of this later, but it's a tremendous boost in defense and one he can carry to the final boss. Now we need to go to Mermania, go north to the mainland, then head west a ways until we hit the Miner Reservation, Diggould. Around here, though, if you head south through the small forested area, you can find another Pudding Shrine! This one is a little different, in that if you do not have the Pudding Shield, you can't enter here. Inside, Hiro is split from the party by a transparent barrier and meets with a spirit inside. Hiro: Alright. I'm ready for this. Spirit: Welcome, Hiro, Son of Pudding. I am St. Tastius. In order to take your abilities one step further, you must meet my challenge head-on. Are you ready? Hiro: Almost. I have one question first before we do. St. Tastius: Okay. Ask away. Hiro: St. Tastius? Are you serious? More like St. Tasti-less. St. Tastius: You're going to fight a giant emu now. Hiro: Wait, what?

-Boss Fight!- Giant Emu LP: 25,000 MP: 5000 Well, at least he was being honest. Giant Emu is fast and will usually take its turn before Hiro who, as usual, cannot use a Pudding Form worth using and thus must prioritize healing as necessary to ensure the next round is not fatal. The biggest challenge here is that while Giant Emu lacks special attacks, it will sometimes follow up its normal attack with “Pancake Batter”, a follow-up move that deals 80% damage too, meaning Hiro is going to be bleeding LP throughout this battle. Heal often and if you picked up any attack items, now might well be the time to utilize them! -Boss Fight!- Hiro: That was... okay. Well, tell me, what amazing ability fusion has this granted me? St. Tastius: The newest member of your party may now fuse with you to create the Trout Pudding Fused Form. Hiro: Sounds good. What's it do? St. Tastius: It will always deal critical damage to fish-type enemies! Hiro: … And? St. Tastius: What? Hiro: And what else? Fish-type enemies only appear in one area of the game and we've been through there like a dozen times now. What else does it do? St. Tastius: … Hiro: Oh gods, that's it, isn't it? You just used this as a filler dungeon! St. Tastius: Yeah. Sorry. Better luck next time. Hiro: What the hell is Trout-flavored Pudding anyway?! Good grief... Sadly, the description is apt. It will do critical to fish-type enemies, but will not effect other types at all. This pudding power is absolutely worthless. Anyway, now we can go to Diggould proper. Which is a literal hole-in-the-ground. Deima: Ah. Diggould. This is a town filled with miners. “Town” might be a stretch though. “Civilization” is also kinda pushing it. Hiro: What's wrong with this place? Deima: Well, look at it. It's a literal hole. There's not even electricity and A/C! Hiro: But that wasn't even invented until the Industrial Revolution and this is a swords-and-sorcery setting! Deima: Yeah. Sure it is. Cough. Hiro: I really hate it when you guys speak aloud onomatopoeia. Just sayin'... Miner: Howdy, folks. Welcome to Diggould, proud capital of the miners. Deima: Is it REALLY a capital when it's the only city you have to your name? Miner: Sure it is! You could even say... it's a CAPITAL CITY! … Get it? 'Cuz... capital can also mean “good”? Deima: So, as I was saying, I don't like this place... We're then free to explore the holes in the wall that pass as buildings here and even get Loyroll the DigrPNTS to make up for his not getting any armor upgrades recently. Once we explore the room on the right, we see Moore the Miner from before, laying asleep in a bed. Mayor: Oh! Guests! Forgive our poor demeanor. We have quite a pickle on our hands and, seeing as you're here, maybe you could lend us a hand! Hiro: Sure! Deima: [Sigh]. Okay. Mayor: So, our dear Lead Miner, Moore, has fallen into a deep sleep and we can't find means to awaken him! We fear a terrible curse is placed upon him! Hiro: I think we have just the ticket! At this point, the conversation would just very abruptly end if you came here before finishing ToneLand's story line. But as we have the Dreamcatcher Mirror, Hiro insists on butting in. He goes to Moore and holds up the mirror. Hiro: I see... a giant, burning middle finger? No, wait, that's a field. … Lined with skeletons. Kimyawa: Miner-kun was REALLY into heavy metal. Mayor: HEY-YO! Kimyawa: Nani? … Oh. I get it. Heavy. Metal. He's a miner. Mayor: Now you're getting into the spirit of our sophisticated sense of humor. Kimyawa: … Hiro: I see an island and a tower in the north. This is no ordinary dream. It looks as though some terrible force is keeping him locked in his sleep. We may have to use the mirror to enter in and directly intervene. Deima: You better be glad you're at least an 8, or I wouldn't even entertain the notion. Ozma: He's a solid 9, 10 if you get rid of those braids! Kimyawa: Dame desu, the braids are kawaii! Hiro: Hm? Did you three say something? Deima: No, nothing at all. Hiro: Alright. Let's prepare and enter into Moore's Dream! Prepare yourself and check Moore again. Hiro will hand the mirror to a miner NPC, and the team warps in, arriving via a singular bed. Hiro: OH GODS, MY MOST OF ME!!! Why am I on the very bottom?! Ozma: Wow. I didn't know you could even balance so many people on one bed! Kimyawa: Onee-chan! Please to be getting off me now, onegai! Loyroll: What an inconvenient mode of transport. Usually I'd consider the bed a gateway to many wonderful things, but this is not what I had in mind... The party quickly files out and are met by a generic miner sprite. Miner: You have to help! Moore's in trouble! Hiro: Yes. We gathered as much. Miner: His very personality was shattered and scattered across his subconscious mind! Deima: Miner's have personalities? Kimyawa: Deima-chan! Deima: What? You were thinking it too. Miner: This is the settlement of Hartmann, a safe haven. This is once where his entire personality resided, but since the coming of a great evil, they have been sent all across this world. Please, find them and reunite them, so we may form Courage, and fight back! Hiro: Sounds like a plan. Where shall we go from here? Miner: The evil awaits you in Freud's Tower in the north, but without Courage, it remains unassailable. You should go through Jung's Field to the east, and explore Skinner's Hut, and don't forget Bandura's Woods! Hiro: Okay. Let's explore those areas first then. The first area we can go to is Jung's Field... so let's not go there. Instead, hang east a little further to go to Skinner's Hut, a perfectly cubical house. Inside, we see Moore. Moore: Me? I'm not Moore, you fuckstick. I'm Anger! Hiro: I didn't even say anything. Could you dial it back a little? Moore: HELL NO! I'm Anger! Hiro: Oh. Right. So, can you come with us? Moore: You trying to tell me what to do, pretty boy? I'll mess you up so bad... uhh... so bad, that YOU'LL WISH I DIDN'T MESS YOU UP SO BAD! Hiro: Apparently Wit isn't here with Anger. Moore: I WILL CRUSH Y-- Ozma punches Anger in the gut, dropping him like a stone. Ozma: There. We can drop him off in Hartmann when we go there next. Hiro: A little... sudden, but it does work! Got Moore's Anger! Now we can go to Bandura's Woods, where annoying Psyche Munchkins appear, alongside HypnOwls, both of whom can put the party to sleep. This is annoying more than dangerous. If you wheel through the forest a bit, you'll find another Moore within. Moore: A-bloo-bloo-bloooo... Hiro: Um. Are you okay? Moore: I-I'm Sad! Hiro: So I see. Moore: No, I'm Sadness. Like, the emotion. W-without the others, all I can do is hide away and c-cryyy! Abloo-bloo-bloo. Ozma: Hiro, this may require a woman's touch. Ozma goes to Sadness, placing a hand on his shoulder. Moore: A-are you here to tell me that everything's going to be okay and pet me on the head? Ozma: No, it's just your voice is super annoying, so stop crying or I'm gonna deck you. Get in the car, loser, we're finding Courage. Got Moore's Sadness! Now, we can head north to Pavlov's Pavilion. And here's where that insidious international release censorship rears its head in a big way. In the Japanese, the pavilion was a casino, filled with gambling minigames and voluptuous chimera-women who insist they'll sleep with anyone who is up for a “romp” with them. You open the door to the next emotion by gambling enough tokens until you get 250 and paying to access it. In the international versions, however, this place is a technicolor candy land, where penguins, rabbits, puppies, and kittens tell you how much they “wuv” you and give you candy hearts. Once you collect 25 candy hearts, you can ford the Strawberry River and the riverman, amusingly named Branches, ferries you across. Either way, Loyroll will protest the scene, either for being “boring” or for being “too saccharine”, depending on version, and insist he misses killing dinosaurs instead. Either way, the locked door opens and you'll find another emotion. Moore: Ugh. This place is gross. I can't stand it! And YOU! You were frolicking around in there! YOU'RE gross too! Kimyawa: Dame! You act all high and mighty, but you're the one who came here first! If you hate it so, then nandaiyo?! Maybe you're not so “above it all” either! Moore: ugh! You're just spilling out of your top! You're so gross! Have some respect for yourself! Kimyawa: My oppai are proud and bountiful! I represent the abundant harvest of autumn, baka! The emotion YOU need is “PRIDE”! You need to love yourself and surround yourself with those that love you! Then you'll realize you ARE beautiful, and need only live up to your own expectations, as high as you wish to set them! Moore: Ugh. Motivational speeches disgust me. Kimyawa: … [Snap]. Kimyawa grapples Disgust and German suplexes him, unlocking her new attack, uh, German Suplex, a terrifyingly powerful single-target skill that is calculated off her speed stat. Kimyawa: BAKA-BAKA-BAKA!!! Moore: Oooooogh... pretty stars... Got Moore's Disgust! Next, we can head to the small town, Vygotski, in the south where there's a consumable item shop and the next emotion and not much else. Moore: Wow! What a great day! Oh, hi there! I'm Moore's Joy! Deima: The hell're you so chipper about? Moore: What ISN'T there to be chipper about?! I'm in a wonderful town, and some wonderful new visitors are here! This is a chance to make new friends! Hiro: I like this guy. He's as blissfully naive as I once was. Good times... Moore: So, we're friends now, right? Let me accompany you! Hiro: Wow. If everyone in the world was like this, I wouldn't feel perpetually like the world is made of cardboard. And soaked in ethanol. And that the torch was thrust into my hands. Ozma: Hiro? A-are you okay? Hiro: Why, Pudding Elder? Why am I the hero? Emilia's the hero. I'm an accident. I was born because my mom can't hold her liquor. Deima: Oh dear. The weight of reality finally broke him. Kimyawa: Does this mean we have to go into Hiro-nii-chan's head? Loyroll: Let's put a raincheck on that for now, hm? Got Moore's Joy. And now, there will be no more joy, as we have to cross Jung's Field. Ugh. How do I put this... imagine a landmine field with no markers and lots and lots of landmines. The landmines also reset after detonating. And they do this infinitely. And the safe road across is about 2 blocks wide. And the METHOD FOR DOING THIS PUZZLE WAS REMOVED IN THE INTERNATIONAL VERSION! Welcome to Amazing Quest 1's worst dungeon! So, in the Japanese version, there was a yellow face icon that would appear at the bottom of the screen. As you progressed, his eyes would point towards the nearest mine. If you were one step away from a mine, he'd get this psychotic, shit-eating grin, warning you that you were close. You could use this to parse the path without ever taking damage fairly reliably. Why did they remove this? I don't know. Why did Jaydea get drunk on a non-alcoholic drink in AQ2? The world will never know. The sole catharsis to be found here is that at the midway point, we find that yellow-faced smiling jackass and he's the boss of this area. -Boss Fight!- Dost Mine Eyes LP: 35,000 MP: 10,000 Oh, this fight. How do I explain this fight. The short version would just be the words “NOT FUN” repeated about 20,000 times. But to be more exact, DME here not only mocks you throughout with lines like “Are we having fun yet?” and “Take it easy!” as he attacks you. When he says “Look out!” he hurls a series of bombs at you, and like another Jeffcom+DTK series, which shall remain nameless, there is no defense against bombs. They just do craptons of damage. In fact, that's kind of this guy's thing. He doesn't have a means to inflict status ailments, but he has tons of health and his defense is the highest by far that we've yet seen and all his attacks are seriously OP. The one upside is all of his damage is calculated as physical damage, so if you rebalance your defense acKordingly, you can help mitigate the damage dealt. There's a reason this guy became a meme in the fandom for moments of the series that are horrifically imbalanced and not fun. -Boss Fight!- Thankfully, upon his defeat, the mines in the area are cleared out, and we're allowed to move north to the last emotion. Moore: I-I'm not going out there! It's too scary! Loyroll: If you mean the buffoon with the terrifying face, we took care of him already. Moore: The world is too scary! I'm just gonna hide here. I think it's the least-scary place. Loyroll: Boy, listen to me and listen well. Fear will always be with you. It is a phantom that insists on riding astride your shoulder for your entire journey of life. And that's okay. Because the ultimate dance of fates will not be casting fear off, but embracing it as a part of who you are, and mastering it. THAT, in truth, is “courage”! You, as Fear, are not antithetical to bravery, you are, in fact, its very core! Moore: W-wow! Despite being a foppish poof, you make a really good point! Loyroll: I prefer to think of myself as “fabulous”, thank you very much... But you know what I do when I become scared? I freak fear the fuck out!!! Hiro: He's not kidding. That's actually what he does. Moore: Meep! I better get back to Hartmann! I-I think I hear the others calling for me! Got Moore's Fear! With this, we have all of Moore's scattered emotions back at Hartmann! Go back now and you'll see many, many copies of Moore here, including a few not named in the international version. Moore: Thank you all. Thanks to you, we can reunite ourselves and find Courage! Then we'll be able to launch our counterattack on the evil in Freud's Tower! All the Moore pile onto one square as the screen whites out, revealing the completed Moore, Courage. Moore: Alright! At last, I feel ready to go! Hiro: Great! Welcome to the team, Moore! Moore joins the party! … It's just a damn shame his stats are terrible. His physical stats are eclipsed by Ozma, his magic stats are over-shadowed by Deima, and his few skills are weaker versions of Kimyawa's and Loyroll's. His HP is lower than Hiro's and he has only enough MP to launch two casts of any of his abilities! Seriously, JeffCom, are you TRYING to make your fans hate you? At any rate, it's time to visit the unfortunately-shaped Freud's Tower! As the party approaches, they see the tower seems to shift in and out of existence, almost like actually viewing a dream in physical space. Hiro: It... it's growing?! Moore: And it's shaped like a plump helmet! Loyroll: It's really getting huge! Kimyawa: Sugoi... Deima: I've seen better. Enter the tower. The walls shift in and out of visibility here, but retain their solid qualities, meaning that the tiny 1-block-wide paths that you must navigate aren't even in view half the time. This place should be called “Test of Patience Tower”, or perhaps Testy Tower for short. HEY-YO! Obvious jokes aside, you just navigate it until you find an armored man standing in front of some stairs. Man: Ho-ho! You'll not go a step further! Hiro: Did you do this to Moore? Answer, Dark Pudding dog! Man: Dog?! You dare address the great Praetorian Soh as a dog?! Hiro: Oh, geez, not another one of you guys... Soh: The great Heavenly King, Modt, entrusted to me-- wait, did you just say “another”? Hiro: Yeah, there were these other Praetorian guys I ran into earlier... don't really recall their names. Soh: So you are the ones who brutally ended the reign of glory that Praetorian Doh, Rei, Mih, and Faa battled so brilliantly for! My brothers-in-arms! I shall avenge their untimely deaths! Kimyawa: One was a woman! Soh: I was speaking poetically. Now, you shall face the unparalleled might of the Burning Soh! Hiro: What kind of dastardly trick do you have?! Soh: Trick? No. I shall explain my powers in-full, thus that we may fight as honorable men of valor! Kimyawa: And women of valor! Soh: Yes, that too! My power... witness and tremble!! Soh then bursts aflame as he removes his helmet, revealing a chiseled visage and bald, shining head. Soh: Yes! I see you are left speechless by my overwhelming abilities! Many have had that reaction to this unstoppable force before y-- Hiro: So, that's it? You ignite yourself? Soh: I... um... well, yes. It's a very powerful attack. Deima: Actually, we've fought fire-themed monsters before now. Hiro: Didn't that one guy have the power to harden his body like armor? Now that was a power to respect. Ozma: I'll say. Or the guy who summoned lightning. I liked that one, myself. Kimyawa: Jiji-chan, is that why you don't have hair anymore? Did you singe it all off?! Soh: What?! No! I-I have eyebrows! See? And do you have any idea how long it takes to learn to not only set yourself on fire, but not hurt yourself doing so?! A long time, that's what! Loyroll: So, when you shower, does it just become steam? Is every bath a steam bath? Soh: No! That's not how this works!!! Oh, gods, this is not going like I imagined it would... Mancala: Oh, I got one! He must be a... hot commodity! Ooooooh! Soh: That tears it. You're all dead. -Boss Fight!- Praetorian Soh LP: 45,000 MP: 5000 So, Soh is just a so-so battle, so there's really nothing in particular so great about Soh. He can use different fire spells and cause damage over time with burns, but if you got some aloe vera in ToneLand, that's a non-issue. Plus Mancala's water-based abilities and Ozma's ability to debuff defense works as a great two-fer in this battle. Hiro may ultimately play more a support role this time around! So, Soh realizes you reap what you sow! -Boss Fight!- Soh: My brothers... and sister... I'm sorry. I... I have failed you. There remains but two who may reclaim our honor now. The joke's on you, foolish Light Puddings... there is no way out of this maze. You'll wander its halls alongside my spirit for all of eternity... Deima: For a bunch of cowards who chose to pick on people who live in literal holes in the dirt, they retain a high degree of pride. Mancala: Yes, but why? He said this was a direct order from Modt, so there must've been a strategic gain in doing so. We need to investigate further! Hiro: Hey, guys, if we go up the stairs here, we can get out! Loyroll: Seems he was mistaken in telling us there was no means out. What a pointless interlude. The party returns to Moore's room, no worse for wear. Moore: I had... a long, strange dream. Deima: Believe us, we know. We saw it. Kimyawa: We saw everything. Moore: Um. S-so, obviously, the only way to repay you is to join you on your quest! As a miner, I can open holes in select places on the map! Hiro: That sounds selectively useful. Welcome to the team, Moore! Again? Moore: A-are you going to put me on the bench again? Hiro: Yeah, probably, if we're just being honest here. Moore: It's okay. I'm kind of a booty guy myself. Kimyawa: Baka hentai!!! Stare at your own risk!!! We then depart and head hard south for a while. Eventually, it starts snowing as we enter a small hamlet named Heat. Deima: Haha! These people have a great sense of irony! Hiro: I dunno. I've never heard of people bagging on their own town when they named it. Something seems out of place. Old Man: You got that right, sonny boy! This is one of the toastiest tropical paradises on Earth, but since that dastard Modt moved into the Weather Station, we've been in a deep freeze! Hiro: Does... this town only exist to solidify Modt as a proper villain? Old Man: pardon? Hiro: I mean... the first heavenly king was about to bring a countryside to its knees with his mad science chemistry set. But now that we're here, Modt's rap sheet kind of has the sum total of “mild inconveniencing a single guy in a single town”. Moore: Hey... Hiro: Just thinking out loud here. Ozma: Even so, we can't let his reign of... mild inconvenience stand. We should go to the Weather Station and sort this mess out. So, head to the Weather Station. It's on top of the hill, to the south-east. You can access it by going south, then heading north up the slope. The Weather Station is a large, white tower, because that's a unique motif in this franchise. Inside are mazes that try to differentiate themselves from the Freud Tower and fail. Each of them has a different weather motif, like rain, clouds (which has a very nice reflective motif, as the floor is lightly coated in water), and ice sliding puzzles. The problem is that these motifs don't actually add very much and these concepts were done far more interestingly in the Cognami “Our UV Radiation!” series of GBA games. At the top floor, Modt awaits us, floating menacingly in front of a machine not dissimilar to the one we saw in the quake control room. Hiro: Give it up, Modt, you're surrounded and trapped with no where to go. Give up peacefully and face justice for your crimes or we'll resort to violence. Deima: Which would be faster. And... y'know... a lot more fun. Modt: Oh-ho, threatening me, are we? Well, little do you know my true power is drawing things from MY dream world into this reality! Ozma: What does that amount to? Modt: Uh. Hot girls, mostly. Moore: Mm... Moore nods sagely here. Modt: Okay, that's not going to fly here. Very well! I'll try a DIFFERENT TACTIC! Hiro: Say what now? Modt rears back and slams into Hiro, knocking him flat. Ozma: Hiro?! Deima: Dammit, that little rat! He was ready for this! Grab that damnable mirror and let's get after him!! Loyroll flashes the mirror, which fires a laser beam, blackening Hiro's face comedically. Loyroll: Oops. Sorry. Two legendary mirrors and all. Got 'em confused. Loyroll flashes the other mirror, which causes the screen to white out again as they enter... a recolored, slightly-rearranged version of Moore's subcon island... God, I hate this stretch of the game. There's only two landmarks, though, a town where you can rest and buy items, all stationed by copies of Hiro. To the north is... ugh... another white tower where Modt awaits us. Have I mentioned that I hate this stretch of the game? Cuz I do. Anyways, the Tower of Doubt tries some unique maze shenanigans, like spinning the camera randomly (useless as your party remains pointed in the same direction anyway), and teleport maze (which isn't complicated at all) and some other things. What's actually interesting here is that, in various rooms, we see shadows of Hiro and other characters speaking. In the entryway we get: Ozma: Wh-what's that? Shadow Hiro: I'm not the savior of our tribe. I couldn't even save my sister or my hometown from the Dark Puddings. People died because I was weak. Kimyawa: Hiro-ni-chan... Then, in the stairwell: Shadow Hiro: Towns are falling in around me. I can't stop this senseless destruction. Why... why can I not stop them?! Deima: I see... this is the manifestation of Hiro's inner demons. Naturally, Modt would come here to find weaknesses. Ozma: … On the second floor's largest room: Shadow Emilia: You mustn't give up! We can save them! Shadow Hiro: I can't! You know that already, Emilia, so why? Do you just like hitting me that much?! Shadow Emilia: … Well, I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a little schadenfreude involved... Shadow Hiro: Just stop it. You're the savior of our tribe. I'm... just a mistake. Shadow Hiro walks away, throwing down a wooden, training sword. Loyroll: Seems our fearless leader is quite the basket case. Kimyawa: He's tearing himself apart... Here, we pick up the key item, Memory of Emilia, from the training sword. At the stairwell to the third floor: Ozma: Is that... me? Deima: More likely, it's the way he views you... Shadow Ozma: I have the weight of a kingdom riding on me... so I must be strong enough to shoulder this burden. Shadow Hiro: If I let her down... then I'm letting down an entire kingdom again...! I can't... I'm not strong enough...!!! Damn it!!! Shadow Hiro falls to his knees. Shadow Ozma fades away, leaving a round object on the floor. Shadow Hiro: Ozma, I'm sorry... Ozma: … Sniff, hic... Hiro, don't apologize... From the round object, you get Memory of Ozma. At the T-intersection on the third floor: Kimyawa: Onii-chan, it's us! Loyroll: This will give us fascinating insight to our relationship. Shadow Kimyawa: Hallo, alter brueder! Ich bin die fraulein mit die grosse brueste! Shadow Loyroll: FAAAAAABULOOOOOUS!!! Loyroll: I feel like I should be offended here, but he did use my favorite word so... Kimyawa: Etto... Shadow Kimywa: I'm never going to give up! I'll remain perky and ready 'til the very end! Shadow Loyroll: The pride of my tribe spurs me on to greater heights! But if you want my best weapons, you'd best pony up... Shadow Hiro: How... you guys are always together, and you never stop trying... but when the chips were down, I couldn't do anything to save my own sister... Loyroll: Ah, Hiro, always making mountains of molehills. Deima: Tee-hee. She said “perky”. And you said “mountains”. Kimyawa: He thinks so highly of us but so lowly of himself... poor Hiro-nii-chan. The two shadows leave behind twin blades, which are Memories of Loyroll and Memories of Kimyawa. At the stairwell to the fourth floor, a shadow of Deima, holding a fish bowl in her hands is there. Deima: Ah, the interesting part! Shadow Deima: I, mighty sorceress and ally of the Pudding tribe, shall aid you for now, unworthy successor. Deima: ! I... never said anything of the sort!!! Is that how little you think of me, boy?! Shadow Fish: HOLLA HOLLA GET DOLLA!!! Mancala: Wait, is that supposed to be me?! That son of a bitch!!! The Shadows of Deima and Mancala leave behind twin rods, which you collect as Memories of Deima and Memories of Fish. That's not a mistranslation, that's the actual item name. With these, we can go to the fourth final floor, which is comprised of two rooms. The first has the last shadow scene. Shadow Hiro: My friends depend so much on me, but I'm just a failure. In the end, I'll just let everyone down again. From the day I was born, no one minded me because Emilia was the destined, chosen pudding hero. Surrounded by people at all times, I have never felt so utterly alone. Ozma: I can't believe he's felt this way the whole time and never told us. Loyroll: Perhaps it was merely that I'm the only one who actually pays attention around here, but he was being pretty obvious about his feelings from the start. Maybe you were just hearing what you wanted to hear. Deima: … Tch. Kimyawa: I-I think that's him up ahead! Mancala: Is Modt already there?! Don't tell me we're too late! I really need to smack him one!!! Ozma: Hiro or Modt? Mancala: Yes. The party proceeds forward after collecting “Memories of Self” and finds Modt and Hiro. Modt is openly weeping and Hiro is talking. Hiro: And that's when I realize that no matter how hard I try, I'll still end up dying scared, tired, and alone – as I lived, unloved and hopeless! Modt: OH GODS ABOVE MAKE THIS GUY STOP TALKING ALREADY!! Ozma: Hiro! We're here to, um... save you? Mancala: Actually, it looks like Modt is about ready to concede. Modt: Oh, thank goodness, you're here! Can you shut this guy up?! Hiro: But, I mean, I figured you were in my head anyway. I figured I'd go ahead and make my internal monologue external! Feels good to get it off my chest! Modt: Oh, to hell with it. I'll just summon your worst fears and crush you all! Some very strange creatures begin raining in from above. Hiro assumes the fetal position here as his eyes bug out. Modt: Wait... what are those things?! Hiro: Oh gods, no! Spiders with baboon heads!! Modt: … what?! Hiro: Emilia told me about them when I was little! They build nests on your roof and slowly inch their way down at night. They steal little kids and take them away to live in jungles and eat spider-bananas! But every time I try to climb I tree, I fall out and hurt myself! I could never survive in that kind of judgmental culture!!! Modt: What?! What is wrong with you?! Why is everything wrong with you?! Ozma: Hiro, it's okay. Hiro: Huh? Ozma: Hiro... come here. Ozma kneels and hugs Hiro. Hiro: … Um. Ozma: Everyone has fears and doubts. And none of us stand alone. We all have our quirks and eccentricities. Some of us are even Loyroll. Loyroll: Heh! Jealousy is unbecoming of you, princess! Ozma: But that's okay. Because we love you not despite your weaknesses, but in part, because of them. Mancala: Except me. I'm still pretty sore. Ozma: These memories are themselves, sacred treasures, and so is our friendship. Stop exalting us by condemning yourself. When you hurt, we hurt. Mancala: Again, except me. Ozma: Stand up, Hiro. Hiro and Ozma rise. Ozma: 'cuz it's time to KICK SOME ASS!!! Modt: Oh, dammit!!! -Boss Fight!- Heavenly King Modt LP: 50,000 MP: 25,000 Here, Hiro will automatically replace anyone you had in the first party slot, so be mindful of your alignment as you enter. As an interesting note, this battle does not actually play the Heavenly Kings' shared theme song: Steel Gauntlet. It actually play's Hiro's theme song: Blade that Shapes the Stars, which was remixed in later games into the better-known version: King of Pudding. Modt is by far the weakest and least-interesting of the Heavenly Kings, befitting his role in the story. He tries to inflict ennui on the party to try to control their movement, but it seems to have a low rate of success for some reason. Your best bet is to use Kimyawa and Loyroll's dual tech, if they're a high enough level to have it, the Double Downward Dog, which deals high light-based damage which Modt has no base resistance towards. I typically use the Chocolate-Raspberry Swirl, and use Hiro and Ozma's combined raw strength, due to a hidden, unexplained gimmick Modt has, as his elemental resistances go up when hit by magic and down when hit by physical damage. However, this is done by a very slight multiplier value, and as his light resist is 0, it will never change. He has no attacks that are major threats to a party that hasn't been running from every other fight. -Boss Fight!- Modt: God... damn... it! Seriously. This is how I die? In the head of some manic-depressive douchebag with an inferiority complex?! This sucks!!! Modt then explodes, violently hurling the party from Hiro's mind, causing them to re-appear in the Weather Station and Hiro to bolt upright. Hiro: EVEN IN MY HEAD?! Loyroll: Are you still on about that? Hiro: Yeah, but, in my HEAD?! Deima: I just checked the console. This looks like it's where the Wind Talisman was stored before it ended up in ToneLand. The damage was reversible and so, I think Heat should be thawed out now. Hiro: Everyone... thank you. I owe you a lot. Mancala: Yes you do. Hiro: Yes. Even you, Mancala. Mancala: Seriously. “Holla, holla, get dolla”? Hiro: In my defense, you did shill me as soon as you met me. Hiro gained: Confidence! Here, the memory items break down and become stat ups which make Hiro's pudding swirl forms even stronger! We now can use the exit warp. When we do, we end up in Heat's town square, which has indeed thawed and now is a tropical paradise! Hiro: Oh, thank goodness. Last time I tried to use one of those, it blew up! The people in town thank you profusely, and if you go noodling in the stream here, you'll obtain the PDNGCape accessory, rounding out Hiro's defenses. Now, we can travel through the waterfall in the south to move through to a new town, Warudo, only to see the inhabitants apparently walk backwards here. Trying to speak to them is useless as everything they say is written backwards. There's only one NPC we can speak to who won't just say “B+TCELES SSERP”. NPC: I returned from a hunting trip a few days ago and everyone is like this now. Talking to them is useless, they don't even seem to see us. Deima: There's powerful magic at work here. They're moving backwards through time, but also in a fixed loop. The only way to free them would be to destroy the source of the spell that put them in this condition in the first place. NPC: Oh, the only magically-aligned place around here would be the Clock Tower. Hiro: Is it a large, white, nondescript tower on a hill? NPC: Yes, why? Hiro: No reason. Loyroll: The Clock Tower, hm? Let's investigate. As there's no items to steal here, we move on to the east to yet another tower because good game design. The tower's primary gimmick are large clock buttons on the floor which run time forward or backward as you stand there. This will cause walls and other obstacles to be built, collapse, or change and you need to seek out the most effective means through by moving the dungeon forward or backward in time. Though, JeffCom apparently got tired of this motif after a while, as the dungeon actually only runs three floors before you reach the top. There, Ceuri awaits us. Ceuri: You! How did you escape my time loop?! Hiro: Uh. We were no where near it when you cast it. And you should know that for a fact, as you saw us in ToneLand when you stole the Wind Talisman. Ceuri: Uh. Um. Yes. Well, details! No one else in Warudo was spared! Kimyawa: Actually, there was one guy. Ceuri: Oh, son of a bitch, how many other people manage to conveniently avoid my spell, then?! Moore: Well, you missed my entire village AND the entire next village over. Ceuri: Yes, well, Modt called dibs and-- Modt's dead now, isn't he? Ozma: Do we even need to clarify that? Ceuri: … Ugh. It's hard to be the only competent person standing. Fine! Whatever. Let me just check in on what the hell's happening... A viewing portal opens in the middle of the room, showing the generic NPC from before. Ceuri: GASP! Hiro: Not you too! Ceuri: It's... it's Bob! Hiro: Who? Ceuri: My only friend from my childhood! Mancala: Oh no, we're going this direction, aren't we? Ceuri: My lady-feels demand I now RIP THE HELL OUT OF SPACE/TIME!!! Hiro: Oh boy... The party is sucked into the rift and very violently deposited out into an open field. Or, rather, Hiro is deposited here alone. In a very long stretch way from Warudo. Also, every single enemy here knows instant-death abilities. Because good game design! So, once you get into one random encounter and party wiped, you'll warp to the save point in Warudo at the low, low cost of half your currencies! I'm so glad chapter 6 is almost done. When you reunite with the others, they begin talking. Bob: Oh, looks like it's Ceuri causing this chaos. Sorry 'bout that. Yeah, she's always been a handful. Hiro: How did she even do this? Isn't that the talisman of wind? Not SPACE/TIME?! Bob: She's a chimera, you see, so she has, like, magic. Hiro: … Magic. Just... magic sufficient to rip time? Bob: Yup. Hiro massages his temples. Bob: Maybe I should go talk to her. Maybe we can convince her to stop this of her own volition. Hiro: Yeah, that's worked well so far. Let's go with his plan. Kimyawa: Not like we had anything better than that... Hiro: I'm being sarcastic. This plan is terrible. Bob: A'ight. Let's go. Hiro: Ugh. So, we traverse the Clock Tower again, doing the same puzzles again. Bob: Ceuri! Ceuri: Bob! Bob: Ceuri, could you... maybe stop? Ceuri: Hm. I mean, I could do that. Hiro: Really? Ceuri: No. Hiro: Figures. Bob: Pretty please? Ceuri: I have my thumb on their very pulses! I could advance their aging instantly and kill them all! Would you want that? Mancala: Shit, this escalated quickly. Loyroll: Wouldn't that also speed up them having marriages and children and just usher in a very fast-growing next generation? Ceuri: No, because reasons. Loyroll: But no matter the speed, wouldn't they still just experience it at what they perceive to be the “normal” pace because everyone else around them is too? Ceuri: I SAID NO! Loyroll: Just trying to help you out... Ceuri: That's it, my lady-feels demand RETRIBUTION! Bob: But our happy childhood that we'll never show the players-- Ceuri: I said NO, God damn it! Bob: Well, 'k. -Boss Fight!- Chimera Ceuri LP: Doesn't matter MP: Ditto This isn't a real boss fight. It just goes on a set number of turns as Ceuri turns into a big ol' gargoyle thing with huge clawed hands and wings. Just block for a few turns and this will end itself. -Boss Fight!- Ceuri: That's it, if you don't GTFO, those people are dust! Mancala: … It's too much. We gotta fall back for now. Deima: Holy crap, the tension is so high that even Mancala has developed a conscience! The party flees, or tries too, but gets put in another time warp, dropping them outside the tower again. The door is locked with the ominous phrase “Ceuri has made this door as closed as her mind is”. At this point, we fall back to town. Bob: This is pro'lly my fault for reasons I won't ever expound upon. Hiro: This would be a lot easier if you could explain your childhood friendship, you know. Bob: I know. But I'm not gonna. But the humans here didn't like her, because she was a chimera. Deima: Wait, is this franchise really going to a “xenophobia is bad” message here? Bob: Yup. Why? Deima: Oh. No reason. Bob: So, they threw her out. But I was friends with her. Somehow. Don't really care to explain any more. Kimyawa: Ah! Maybe a token of friendship from her past! Bob: Maybe Fruit. Hiro: Like a fruit basket? Bob: No, moron. Fruit. The specific one Fruit that's always capitalized. Hiro: So... not an apple or an orange. Just... Fruit. Bob: That's right. Grows on a tree south of here. Hiro: Well okay then... So now, you venture south to the peninsula, where you'll find a Fruit tree. Have Ozma punch it to obtain a Fruit. Now we can return to Clock Tower with Bob. Ceuri: That smell... could that be... Fruit?! Hiro: So she knows what it too? And by scent, apparently. So now we're informed that Ceuri's heart and the door lock have melted and we can go back in for the third time to face her at the top floor. Ceuri: I hurt Bob badly. He won't forgive me. Bob: I'm right here. Ceuri: I'm so tired of being evil. I'd rather be the stock cliché about the one female villain suddenly having a change of heart while her male compatriots are evil, soulless monsters. Hiro: Kinda makes me wonder why we're even here then. Ceuri: Here, take the Wind Talisman. Hiro: I... for serious? Wow. I, uh... I'm not used to things going my way. Or people listening to reason. Thanks! You got: Wind Talisman! Ceuri: Bob, can you ever forgive me? Bob: I've been thinkin'... lot of fish in the sea. … Bye. Bob walks out. As he does, Kord drives on screen. Kord: Heya! I've been talked about a lot, so I thought I'd stop by and-- oh, hey, I think I walked in on something... you guys okay? How's everyone doing? Hiro: Uhh. We're... we're good. Kord: Good! Glad to hear it. But, see, I haven't really done much of anything, except summon the Grim Reaper! And good job on beating him, by the way! Oh, Ceuri? Ceuri: Yeah? Kord: Here, I need to give you this. Ceuri: What's this? Kord: A pink slip. And this. Ceuri: I'm fired?! And what's THIS?! Kord: Notification to your next of kin. See, Jaydea doesn't take bad news very well. So... you kind of screwed the pooch in a big way. Deima: If no one minds, we're just gonna exist stage left. Kord: Oh, yeah, don't mind us! Just ironing out some internal politics! Hiro: But-- Deima: No buts. Go, go! The party arrives outside, and the entire freaking Clock Tower up and disappears. Hiro: … What was the point of this chapter? Deima: To remind everyone playing that this is a JeffCom game. C'mon, we only have two talismans remaining. The party moves off-screen. A moment after, Kord walks out of the crater where the Clock Tower used to be. Kord: Y'know, that was rude. Trying to erase me from space and time. That'd have been dangerous if it had been... y'know... actually dangerous. Stupid bint.

[lilyginnyblackv2]

Thoughts on Buffy Season 11, Issue #10 - Spoiler Warning

So, here are my thoughts on the latest comic issue of Buffy Season 11. Of course, there are spoilers present!

Covers: I love the variant cover! It’s so cute and ties in really nicely with the plot of this issue. The original cover is very beautifully drawn as well and interesting in its own right, but the variant cover wins for me because of the flirting Spuffy moment and the blushing sea lion. I can’t resist this kind of cuteness! 

From here on out, everything else will be under a Read More because of length and spoilers. The post will also be a bit image heavy.

Art: In general I liked the art a lot and enjoyed how Levens’ art style has changed a bit from S10. Outside of her character interpretation of Faith, who I think looks far more like Kennedy here, and her new character interpretation of Dawn (which I don’t like as much as her S10 one), I think she has largely improved her character interpretations of Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Spike. I mean, just look at this face:

It is so quintessential Buffy and I could easily see SMG making that face, no problem.

She did a good job with the landscapes, underwater scenes, fights, and experimental animal designs (though I think the Adam 2.0 character could have been designed a bit better, the octopus was excellent). There were a few panels here or there that were a bit rough and sketchy looking.

But overall the look was very polished and clean (and I like her new take on drawing noses, specifically for Spike, because in the later S10 issues she was drawing his nose really funky looking, but it looks much better here). The coloring by Dan Jackson was really lovely. However, I think where the artwork truly shone in this issue was with conveying the nuanced feelings and emotions of the characters.  Characters and Plot: I might as well transition for that into the actual growth and plot of this issue. The only character that really felt unnecessary in this issue was Faith. Her purpose in these past few issues seems to have mostly just been for muscle. I’m not a huge fan of Faith, she is one of my least favorite characters in the series as a whole, but if they do decide to keep her in Buffy, I hope they figure out something interesting to do with her character. I like that Faith, Buffy, and Willow are all getting along and working well together, so I would actually be a bit intrigued if they decided to keep this dynamic. I just want something new to come of it. Dawn doesn’t really do much in this issue either, but she does dish out some hard truths to Buffy. I also really loved how the Buffy, Spike, and Dawn scene was handled. In S10, when Dawn decided to put herself in harm’s way (and essentially sacrifice her safety) to close the portal that was opened, the disagreement that Buffy and Spike had over how to approach the situation ended up being the catalyst for their first major fight as a couple. That fight nearly split them up, but they got through it. In this issue we see Buffy and Spike once again at odds over how to deal with the situation (and it is a bit different, since Spike is in the same situation as Dawn, but they are both ultimately more worried about Dawn). This time, Buffy is being the more protective one and Spike the more level headed one (as opposed to last time). (Xander is also more protective of Dawn this time around). Unlike in Season 10 when he didn’t really wan to listen to Dawn’s reasoning, Spike listens to what Dawn has to say this time, and Buffy listens to both of them, as well as to the others. And this time, when Buffy is shown to be visibly distressed, Spike doesn’t hand off comforting her to someone else (Willow) like he did back in S10. Instead, he pulls her to him and allows her to lean on him. The look on Buffy’s face here, in both panels, displays her inner exhaustion and turmoil so, so well. And Spike’s face shows that he gets that too, that he’ll be her strength and comfort in this moment.

When she pulls away from him, both her and Spike have determined looks on their faces and seemed to be emotionally rejuvenated. That little moment showed so much growth for Buffy and Spike, while the scene as a whole showed so much growth for all of the characters! I loved it! <3 

We are also able to see that the bond between Xander and Dawn is still quite strong too, just through the simple focus on their hand holding. While the dialogue here is almost reminiscent of Xander’s “Your Extraordinary” speech to Dawn in Season 7′s Potential (except here, Dawn is the one that is pointing out the positives of being the “normal” ones).

In a more disturbing, but just as powerful (if not more so) Spuffy scene in this issue is when Spike kills Rudy Diaz, the human machine hybrid guarding Pandora Project. Levens did an excellent job of expressing Buffy’s complex feelings here. 

All Buffy has to do is look at Spike and say “I-I can’t…” and he is able to be that darkness for her. This is different from him being her “dark place,” because it isn’t about her using him to confide dirty, little secrets or anything like that, this about Spike taking on a burden for her that he knows she can’t handle (and that she knows that she can’t handle). 

She has a pleading look in her eyes when she tells him that she can’t do it, and when Spike does the actual deed, we just get that close up of Buffy’s face. There is a look of pain and perhaps even a mixture of shame and guilt expressed there over the fact that she couldn’t do it. That she had to almost use Spike in a way and place that burden of death and murder on him, rather than on herself. 

But her expressing that outward guilt and shame shows that she is very much so aware of the heaviness and seriousness of what she asked Spike to do, and I think Spike is very much so aware of that as well. He took it on for Buffy, who has been fighting for him, staying by him, and showing her love and commitment to him all throughout this season.

Later on, we see that Buffy and Spike are still solid. That moment didn’t break them and Buffy’s more determined than ever to stop this mass magical draining with the thought of losing Spike and Dawn so imminent and more real than ever before. One thing that I love about S11 Spuffy is that the writers have kept their relationship solid and healthy, but have shown that there are still hard and messy choices and decisions and sacrifices that need to be made regardless of how good their relationship is. They may be strong and happy and healthy together, but the world around them isn’t suddenly going to be void of all problems. Hardships will still be present. 

Now, I’m not going to be a complete wide-eyed optimist and will keep in mind the possibility that something horrible could happen to either Buffy and/or Spike that will destroy what the Spuffy relationship has going on right now, but here’s to hoping that they keep with this nuanced and far more interesting take on relationship writing...rather than resorting to things like forced separation, death, or just some kind of break-up.  Moving onto Willow, she doesn’t really have any scenes that stand out emotionally, but she does do a lot in this issue. It comes off as a bit too overpowered, until the ending when you realize that none of them really have any idea how to stop this satellite from draining magical energy.  They don’t even really know where to start or who exactly is behind it all. So this realization kind of evens out Willow’s overpowered nature in this issue (well, for me anyway). Also I enjoyed how we got a nice mixture of Willow using magic

and her computer and hacking skills 

to get her jobs done. It shows how balanced Willow is in her life right now when it comes to her powers.  

Now, for Xander’s bit in this whole issue, I thought it was rather funny, cute, and clever. Levens really did a great job at portraying Xander masquerading as the Vice President. It still looked like the Vice President, but there were these small little facial expressions and movements that were very much so Xander. You can also tell, just by looking at the actual Vice President’s face that he is under some kind of truth spell, so that was a nice subtle touch as well.  I think now is a good time to move on to talk about the dialogue. 

Dialogue: The character voices sounded fine to me and Xander’s was especially good during the interview segment. He really sounded like someone who was trying to pretend to be a politician, but really isn’t. He got a bit on a soapbox and this could come off a bit heavy handed (even though I do agree with what he says here), but the way he then jokes about it being “fake news,” also makes that whole bit into a nice little political cartoon/moment of satire. 

There was a lot of exposition, but I think it flowed rather nicely and lightly – it didn’t feel like it bogged the reading experience down, and that probably has to do with all the placement of scenes (the back and forth between the interview scenes and the interrogation/info dump scenes). 

The only bit that I found to be a bit “meh” and clunky writing wise was the scene when Rudy Diaz (aka Adam 2.0) was explaining his situation and what happened to him. That character’s design and the fight itself wasn’t really all that great either. The only real saving grace of that whole bit was the stuff between Buffy and Spike (and Faith’s “Speak for yourself…” line and the look that both Faith and Spike give Buffy – that brief moment of silence). 

In general though, I think the speech and dialogue was fine. And I liked Spike actually mentioning the “bloody Imitative” and that he met up with Dowling! Good to see that Dowling is still helping out and sticking by Spike and Buffy. : )

Pacing: Finally, let’s talk about the pacing. For me, the pacing is the only real negative of this issue. The Rudy Diaz stuff was a bit lacking, yes, but it had a powerful conclusion, so it kind of worked out in the end (and the way Levens drew the facial emotions and body language in that scene more than made up for the less stellar bits). The pacing though…this one is a bit hard to say for certain on whether things are moving or progressing too quickly. Reading it right now, I would say that Issues #8, 9 and now 10 moved at a bit too fast of a pace, but that opinion may change once the season is finished and I can binge read the season straight through. 

As it is though, I think this season might have benefited more if it was 15 issues long, rather than 12, so there could have been one more issue each for the plot arcs that take place between Issues 8, 9, and 10. Regardless of that, for me this season as a whole is still really strong and sends some powerful messages as well as delivers some wonderful character and relationship moments, so I’m still very eager and looking forward to Issues #11 and 12 and would still rank this season quite high.

Misc.: I also noted that Spike finally got around to using his “Little Bit” nickname for Dawn this season. And that I actually really like Spike wearing hoodies this season. (I plan on doing a post focused on Spike’s evolving clothing style and general appearance/persona in the comics sometime soon too). All images were taken from my digital copy of Buffy Season 11, Issue #10 that I purchased on the Dark Horse website. All of the images were drawn by Megan Levens, all dialogue was written by Christos Gage, and all coloring was done by Dan Jackson. Below I’ll provide the individual page numbers for each of the images used above. Variant Cover, p.20, p.8, p.24, p.24, p.24, p.12, p.6, p.14, p.19

[wbwest]

New Post has been published on WilliamBruceWest.com

New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/07/07/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-7717/

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 7/7/17

I took last week off, but I hope y’all had a great 4th of July weekend. Life’s still kinda kicking my ass, so this’ll be an abridged edition this week.

I finally got around to watching a movie! It’s been on my list since I first heard it was in pre-production, and I’m amazed it took me this long to watch it, considering my love for the source material. The Founder stars Michael Keaton as Ray Kroc, the “founder” of McDonald’s who really just stole the concept from the McDonald Brothers. A down-on-his-luck shake machine salesman, Kroc happens upon the fledgling McDonald’s restaurant in Southern California. Knowing a good thing when he saw it, he pretty much insisted on becoming a part of the operation, mainly focused on franchising the business. And that’s when things get interesting. I LOVE McDonald’s. You can hate me all you want, but like Jim Gaffigan says, “Everyone has their own McDonald’s”. Mine just happens to be the actual company. I don’t know enough about the history of the company to know how factual an account the movie was, but it was sure damn entertaining. Keaton is amazing in it, and I feel like anyone would enjoy the movie even if they think they don’t give a rat’s ass about McDonald’s as a company. I highly recommend this film.

We finally got our first trailer for Marvel’s Inhumans, and now I realize why they were so hesitant to release it. MY GOD THIS LOOKS TERRIBLE! It looks like Into The Badlands – a show that I hate because people fawn over it when it looks like something that would’ve aired after Xena on Saturday afternoons 20 year ago. Yeah, I even told one of the Badlands creators that when he confronted me over my “appraisal” on Twitter. Badlands is a bad show, but it gets “diversity points”, so folks give it a pass. This show doesn’t even get diversity right, so it’s really just a shitshow in the making. I hate hate HATE that this is considered an official part of the MCU, even if it’s just a part of the never-referenced TV wing. Anyway, this trainwreck debuts in IMAX on September 1st, but will officially air on ABC beginning September 22nd.

Speaking of diversity points, CBS lost all of theirs when they let the Asians go from Hawaii Five-O last weekend. Daniel Dae Kim and Grace Park both left the show after salary negotiations broke down as they requested pay equal to their costars. I’ve never seen more than 15 minutes of that show, but I know the dude from Lost seemed pretty important to things. He was basically the White guys’ interpreter to all things native. CBS has claimed that they offered them sizable increases, which weren’t deemed acceptable to Park and Kim. Now the Five-O showrunner, Peter Lenkov, is now joining the side of the network, saying that CBS made “generous offers” to the stars, yet they decided not to renew their contracts.

This has turned into a discussion of race in Hollywood and how things still aren’t equal across the board. I’m a big fan of billing. Billing is important, and should go to the most well-known star. It’s the reason all the ’89 Batman posters say “Jack Nicholson” first. Dude was a bigger star. Now, I didn’t watch Lost and I didn’t watch Battlestar Galactica, but I still recognize Kim and Park from those shows. Maybe it’s just because I’m a geek and folks were always talking about those shows. The show’s star, Alex O’Loughlin? I can’t name a thing he’s been in. Don’t know that dude from Adam. And the other lead? James Caan’s kid? Whatever. Y’all mean you couldn’t pony up the cash to keep Lost Dude and Battlestar Girl? We’re not talking about big names here so, unless there was a favored nations clause where O’Loughlin would have to get a raise if they got raises, thereby thwarting the whole “equality” thing, I don’t see what the problem was. As has been pointed out, all O’Loughlin and Caan had to do was stand in solidarity with their costars and this would’ve been a non-issue. Word on the street it O’Loughlin is quitting at the end of the season anyway, so it’s not like we’re talking another 5 years here. He couldn’t keep his ego in check for a season? Nah, for too many folks, as long as they’ve got theirs, they don’t care if you’ve got yours.

We also got a trailer for Pitch Perfect 3, forcing me to reiterate that NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE A TRILOGY. I know everyone involved likes money, but sometimes there are natural, built-in ends to things. That thing was a 2-movie franchise and that’s it. Don’t forget – I lived that life. I was in the same competition the Bellas won in the first film (we came in 2nd), and I experienced the aca-graduation blues that the girls experienced in the second film. That’s pretty much it. There’s nowhere else to go. I mean, sure there are some random outlier outcomes. One of my groupmates is a hit producer in Asia now. Another is a pretty big pop star in Hong Kong. The rest of us? Dead-end jobs and bills. I used to occasionally do karaoke, but even that got to be too depressing. That shit is fun while it lasts, and then you’ve got to move on. So, in that vein, I can understand the plot of the 3rd movie, with the girls wanting to have one last hurrah, but I don’t really understand the concept of putting them on a USO tour. Is that something the troops wanna see? Has Pentatonix been dropped into the theater of war? It just seems kinda farfetched to me, and I was fine with how things were left in the last movie. Sure, I’ll see it, but it won’t be in a theater.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

Hide grandma’s wallet – QVC is buying out Home Shopping Network.

After 3 seasons, The Carmichael Show has been canceled by NBC. I really wish someone else would snatch it up, as it’s a smart show

Netflix has renewed Dear, White People for a 2nd season. Meanwhile, they canceled Girlboss after one season. Reed Hastings giveth and he taketh away.

Speaking of Netflix, hearing the cries of fans, Sense8 will officially conclude with a 2-hour finale special

Netflix also renewed one of my favorite original shows, F is For Family, for a 3rd season.

Apparently a series based on the popular Step Up film series, called Step Up: High Water, will premiere on YouTube Red, where absolutely NOBODY is gonna watch it.

Fuller House season 3 will coincidentally premiere on the 30th anniversary of Full House, September 22nd.

Make your vacations weird again, as Cirque du Soleil has purchased Blue Man Group.

Patton Oswalt is engaged to 80s actress Meredith Salenger. Ya know, the same Patton whose wife died last year. I guess we all grieve in our own ways…

Lack of interest brought down The House, which bombed at the box office last weekend. It was reportedly Will Ferrell’s lowest live-action opening for a major studio.

Nick Fury will reportedly be making his MCU return in 2019’s Captain Marvel

HBO is reportedly getting the True Detective band back together, with a 3rd season to star Mahershala Ali

Nixing speculation that she was still up for the White House Press Secretary job, Kimberly Guilfoyle has reupped her contract with Fox News

Rob Lowe and his sons will chase the supernatural in The Lowe Files, and I literally cannot wait.

New game show, Snap Decision, premieres August 7th. Hosted by David Allen Grier, the show breaks precedent because it will debut on GSN and in syndication on the same date.

The world’s leading (and only) bar scientist favorited my tweet this week

We’re gonna do something different here this week. Usually, if you’ve been paying attention to the week’s news, you can at least try to figure out who or what had the best week. Some weeks it’s harder to choose something than others. Then I remembered, “Will, this is YOUR site.” After all, this is all pop culture through my lens, so it’s my rules. So, sometimes I might choose something that meant a lot to me that week, while you were none the wiser. But I bring it up on the site so that we’re all on the same page. And that’s the kind of pick I have this week.

After watching The Founder, I was left thinking, “Michael Keaton is a goddamn national treasure”. After watching Spider-Man: Homecoming last night (yeah, we’ll talk about it next week, when more of y’all have had a chance to see it), I was thinking “Why have we been sleeping on Keaton the past 20 years?” I mean, with the exception of The Other Guys, I honestly hadn’t seen a Michael Keaton movie since probably Batman Returns, and yet Birdman is the one considered his “comeback vehicle”. In The Founder, he really made you feel for a traveling salesman who was at the end of his rope. After a string of laughable failures, he finally found something to which he could hitch his wagon: McDonald’s. And while he also had to prove this to everyone in his sphere of orbit, most importantly he had to prove this to himself. He really needed a win, and Keaton did such a great job conveying that.

In Homecoming, Keaton plays Adrian Toomes, better known as the Vulture (though he’s never called that by name in the film). Not unlike Alfred Molina’s Dr. Octopus, he’s something of a sympathetic villain. Were it not for the fact that comic book franchises deal in the good/bad binary, you could almost relate to him and understand where he’s coming from. He’s a modern-day working class guy who feels ignored by the fat cats up on high. He doesn’t have evil goals. He simply wants to provide for his family, and he has a code of honor that dictates he must do whatever it takes to make good on that promise. I felt that Keaton did a great job expressing the plight of the working man. Sure, he got to utter some cheesy villain dialogue, but that simply comes with the territory. If you stopped for a minute, and ignored the fact that Spider-Man HAS to win, you realize that Toomes is actually kind of on to something. Again, though, I’ll get into more Homecoming thoughts next week.

My pal Chad pretty much swears by Michael Keaton as his favorite actor – a lot of that having to do with his immense love of 1989’s Batman. I’ve gotta say, I was never a huge fan of Keaton’s Batman, and when Chad would laud Keaton’s praises, I wasn’t really seeing it. I see it now, though. I have seen the light and I am healed! Dear Hollywood, more Michael Keaton, please! He pretty much impressed me on two different cinematic fronts this week, and that’s why Michael Keaton had the West Week Ever.

[rainygalaxynerd]

Brave New World - FINAL CHAPTER

Warnings: If you’re still with me, nothing new.

Summary: Set app. a year after the chapter “Days”

Word count: App. 2.200

A/N: I did it!!! I finished it! I can’t believe it. *Ugly crying* Now what am I gonna do??? (Finish the follower inserts from my 300 follower celebration before I hit 400, maybe? Finish recording Force of Habit, one of @littlegreenplasticsoldier ‘s many masterpieces? Do the recording of Mirror Mirror, I’ve been wanting to do since I wrote it? How to choose, how to choose...)

This is part of a chapter story (in case the caption didn’t clue you in). Link to mobile friendly master list here.

Tagging: @winchesterprincessbride @jencharlan @twenty-onepages @kbrand0 @fangirling-instead-of-working @mrsjohnsmith @deandoesthingstome @vibou25 @jotink78

“You’re not hunting alone. It’s too dangerous. Call someone else, got it?”

Sam grinned and slapped Dean’s shoulder. “Was planning to.”

Dean raised his eyebrows and put a hand to his chest in mock pain. “So that’s how it is, huh? Trying to give your poor, crippled big brother a freakin’ heart attack on top of everything else?”

Sam scrunched up his face, processing. “I didn’t catch that,” he finally lamented. “Unless you said something about a boar, nippled pig mother. And was there something about an art attic?”

Dean flipped him off, not quite managing to bend his index finger.

Sam grinned. “How very British.” He put an arm around Dean’s shoulders and steered him away from the wheelchair. “Come on, let’s get you home and put some real food in you. You can get back at me when you’ve had some of that pie Caitlin made for you before going to work.”

Moving On

“Dean!” Caitlin squeezed between two stacks of boxes, higher than herself.

She found him in the kitchen, staring at a metal circle between two handles.

“What the fuck is this?”

“It’s a corn cob scraper.” She sighed.

“Why do we have a corn cob scraper?”

“To scrape kernels off the cobs. Can’t you just put it in the box?”

“But I’m gonna hafta carry the box to the truck and from the truck to the house. I’m not gonna pack stuff we don’t need.”

Caitlin crossed her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrows. “I used it three days ago for that cream corn you gushed over so hard, I thought you’d sleep with it and banish me to the couch.”

Dean’s eyes widened. He pursed his lips and scrutinized the scraper for all of two seconds before tossing it into the open box next to him. With a shrug, he picked another item from the drawer. He stared at it. “What the fuck is-”

“Just throw it out. I only ever use it when I make pies and I don’t think I’m gonna do that anymore.”

Faster than lightning, Dean put the thing in the box.

Caitlin smiled, shaking her head. “Dean, I just wanted to know if you and Sam agreed on when to pick up the appliances this weekend?”

Dean buried his hands, elbows deep, in the kitchen drawer, feeling for more stuff. “Yeah, um, sure.”

“So when are you picking them up?”

He glanced up, eyes wide. “Saturday, I guess. Or Sunday, maybe.”

Caitlin glared at him until she burst out laughing. “Jeez, you’re tired. Why don’t you take a break? I’ll text Eileen and figure it out.”

“Yeah, okay.” Dean sighed and threw himself on the couch. He ran a shaking hand across his face and let his eyes drift shut.

He woke up to Caitlin gently massaging his neck and shoulders. “Mwhah?”

She pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I talked to the company and the houses are so close and the total order for all of us is big enough to warrant free delivery, so that’s taken care of.”

“Mmh.” Dean pulled her closer, overbalancing her. He made an ‘oof’ sound when her weight hit him. Then he wrapped his arms and legs around her and kept her there.

“Are you secretly an octopus?” Caitlin relaxed against him.

“No, I’m a homeowner. But if you’d asked me ten years ago if I thought I’d end up as an octopus or as a homeowner, I’d have gone with octopus.” He lifted his head a bit to look her in the eyes. “It’s weird how bizarre it feels to be normal.”

“You’ll never be normal. Doing normal stuff won’t change who we are. You’ll never be a civilian, Dean.”

He squashed her tight against him, chuckling at the way her breath whooshed out of her lungs. “You’re right. I just… Fuck, I…”

“I know. I get it. But, Dean, you would have had to stop someday no matter what. You could have ended up dead or far worse off than this. Anyone who didn’t know you before will barely notice that you’re a bit more clumsy than most. There’s still so much you can do.”

“But I can’t hunt. I can’t save lives. If something ever happens to you, or to Sam, Cas, Eileen… I can’t protect you.”

“I know. That’s life for most people. You can still do a lot of good.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

Caitlin was silent for a while. “You could help Sam with research.”

“Or I could get a job at Biggerson’s, flipping burgers. No way, I’m gonna sit and read about monsters and lore and not get to kill ‘em myself.”

“I bet you’d be the employee of the month all through the year.” Caitlin’s grin broke free. “You’d look so dashing in their uniforms, with the cap and the stripes-”

She cut off, squealing, when Dean tickled her sides, showing no mercy.

Her phone buzzed and bought her a respite as she read the text, almost hiccuping from laughing too hard.

“Who’s writing? Did Charlie kill Garcia’s character off again? Has Cas been arrested again? Is it Eileen?”

“It’s from Brad.” Caitlin showed him the message, sad smile on her lips.

I JUST WANTED TO WISH YOU GOOD LUCK IN KANSAS CITY. YOU’LL BE A GREAT DOCTOR. I HOPE EVERYTHING IS GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN WITH THE BIG MOVE. ALL THE BEST, -BRAD

Dean read with a frown. “You gonna answer?”

Caitlin sighed. “I don’t know. I hate knowing his psychiatrist’s reading over his shoulder. My answer wouldn’t be just for him.”

“I know he hasn’t had it easy but I still don’t get how you can forgive him.”

“Well, you weren’t there for his trial. It’s his story to tell, but trust me; he already paid his dues and some.”

“You mean they… Nevermind. I don’t wanna know.” Dean shook his head, holding Caitlin tighter to him. “Will you have to go back here and testify every other week when Cody’s appeal starts?”

“I’m sure they’ll ask me to.” Caitlin shrugged. “I won’t.”

Dean opened his mouth.

She spoke first. “I know they might repeal his death penalty without my testimony but he’ll be behind bars for the rest of his life either way. Cody might deserve to die but I’m against capital punishment on principle.”

Dean raised his eyebrows, questioning.

“Sure, there are humans worse than any monster you and Sam ever hunted, but once they’ve been caught and locked up, they’re not doing any more harm. How do you distinguish between them and the people that might have been possessed or otherwise influenced by something that will never be acknowledged in a courtroom? How do you know the difference between a Brad and a Cody if you weren't smacked in the middle of it? I didn’t even know the difference when I was sixteen, would never have known if they hadn’t taken me last year.”

“But what if he ever gets out? Some bureaucratic mistake, a legal technicality, early parole due to good behavior. As long as he’s alive there’s always a risk.”

“He’s not the only threat out there. There are Djinns and Demons and Daevas and drunk drivers and diseases, just to mention a few beginning with the letter d. I spent ten years in hiding, playing it safe. I’m done living in fear.”

Dean let out a deep breath when she nuzzled close, her nose tickling his neck. For a while, they just lay there, enjoying the closeness. Then he spoke, his voice rougher than usual. “I’m surprised you don’t think Sam and I are killers, with that attitude.”

“Dean. You protected people. It’s not like there’s a court or a prison for human eating or killing, sentient creatures out there.”

“Always so rational.” Dean licked Caitlin’s cheek, laughing when she tried to get away, sputtering in mock outrage.

The licks turned to kisses and the kisses turned to nibbles. Caitlin gave in with a content little sigh, ending in a gasp when Dean used enough pressure to make her really feel his teeth around her earlobe.

Dean snuck a hand under her blouse and undid her bra.

The doorbell rang.

Dean huffed a half laugh, half sigh as Caitlin sat up and redid her bra clasp. He put his hands on her hips. “Can’t we just ignore it?”

Her eyes softened and her movements slowed. “What if it’s important?”

“They can leave a note.” Dean’s hand snaked up her back again, destination obvious.

The doorbell rang again, followed by a quick rapping rhythm, Dean knew all too well. He let his hand fall with a sigh of regret. “Or they might unlock the door since we were dumb enough to give ‘em a key.”

They scrambled to their feet and looked halfway respectable when their front door opened to reveal Sam and Eileen.

Looking at Dean and Caitlin’s still frazzled appearance, Sam grinned. “I’m sorry, are we interrupting something?”

Dean flipped him off. “I thought you guys were busy in Kansas, painting protective sigils in invisible ink?” He signed a few keywords out of habit, though Sam most likely understood just fine, interpreting the movements of Dean’s lips.

“Yeah, we just… something came up. I wanted to tell you in person.” Sam did that weird thing where it looked like he was looking up from under his lashes, all shy and uncertain.

Dean’s jaw clenched, wrinkles of worry creasing his forehead. “Sammy, what’s wrong?”

Sam sputtered. “No, no. It’s not like that, nothing bad. But… It’s just… I guess Eileen and I will have to stop hunting, too.”

Dean's eyes flitted between the two of them, mouth open and eyes wide.

Caitlin broke into a wide grin, something unspoken passing between her and Eileen. “Congratulations, you guys,” she exclaimed, hugging first Eileen and then Sam.

“Could someone tell me what’s going on?” Dean grumbled.

Caitlin bit her lip and watched Sam expectantly.

Sam smiled wide, dimples carved into his cheeks. “You’re going to be an uncle, Dee.”

Dean’s eyes went impossibly wider, his mouth agape. A blissful smile slowly spread before he froze, frowned, and narrowed his eyes. “If this is some stupid joke about that mutt you’re planning to adopt-”

“No joke. Though we do plan to get a dog, now that we won’t be traveling as much as expected.” Sam grinned. He sobered a little. “Dean, I know you don’t like talking about it but you practically raised me, man. You’ll be there, right? If I need help?”

Dean swallowed hard and engulfed Sam in a crushing hug. “Of course, little brother.”

They didn’t get any more stuff packed that day, leaving the chaos behind to eat out.

Over desert, Dean nudged Sam. “So what are you gonna do, college boy, if you’re not hunting?”

Sam chuckled. “Be a college boy, I guess. Charlie dug up my old scholarship and refurbished it. I guess I’m going back to law school. I won’t become a procedural lawyer as long as I’m deaf but I guess pushing pens isn’t so bad.”

Dean glowed with pride. “That’s… Holy fuck, Sam, that’s awesome.” He put his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “I’m really happy for you, man.”

“Thanks.” Sam took another bite of his salad and chewed slowly. “So, what about you, Dean? Any idea what you’ll do with your time while Caitlin’s busy at the hospital?”

Dean made an awkward shrug and lowered his gaze to his plate. A sly smile appeared on his lips. “Maybe I should take some child rearing classes. At least one of us should know what we’re doing, this time.”

Eileen almost choked on her water.

Sam kicked Dean under the table, his expression grateful. “You didn’t do too bad the first time around, you know.”

Dean grinned and Sam knew he walked right into what was coming.

“Imagine what you could’ve achieved if I had known more, college boy.”

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

It was late, and they were both a little buzzed from toasting so many times when Caitlin turned to trace the handprint on Dean’s shoulder with a finger. “Did you mean it?”

Dean, almost asleep, grunted, opening one eye halfway. “Meanwha?”

“You, working with kids?”

Dean shrugged. “Dunno. Those ankle biters can be vicious.”

“But not as scary as monsters, right?” Caitlin chuckled.

“Way scarier.” Dean smiled. “I guess they’d be easier to handle than engine parts, these days.”

“I never told you, but when the Djinn had me, I dreamed of you. Us. Together.” Caitlin blushed.

“You did?” Dean pulled her closer. “What was it like?”

“You…” She smiled, her cheeks heating further. “You were a nurse at the pediatrics ward. You were amazing with the kids.”

Dean gaped at her. “A nurse?”

She nodded, biting her lip.

Dean pursed his lips and tilted his head, considering. “Don’t nurses usually end up marrying handsome doctors?”

“Shut up, Winchester.”

“Why? You could be Doctor Winchester, parading you trophy spouse, nurse Winchester around at fundraisers. Doc Winchester’s got a nice ring to it, don’t it?”

“Dean, seriously, can it.” Caitlin rolled away and lay on her back. “You’re such an ass.”

Laughing, Dean poked her side. “You’re the one who dreamt me as a nurse, Doc.”

Caitlin glared at him with narrowed eyes. “I did. I saw you put a glove over your head and down over your nose, making it look like a pig’s snout and blow air into the glove until it came off your head, whizzing across the room.”

Dean laughed harder. “That’s… that’s priceless. Next time I get my hands on a glove, I’ll try it.”

“Screw you.”

“Really? I thought you were mad at me?”

“Dean!”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll stop. Sleep tight, Caitie.”

Caitlin turned to kiss him goodnight. “You too, nurse Dean.”

“Whatever.” Dean drifted off, his smile lingering.

[meekhistorygeek]

I don’t normally make movie review posts, but I watched Spider-man: Far From Home on my birthday a couple days ago, and I have some thoughts...

Spoilers beneath the cut.

My general thoughts on this movie are neither good nor bad, they’re just... meh. I didn’t know what I felt when I walked out of the theater. I didn’t really feel anything about this film. I thought, overall, the plot was good and the characters were entertaining to say the least. However, I didn’t have the rush of excitement and joy I felt after watching Homecoming. I didn’t want Homecoming to end, and I wanted there to be more. The sad part about watching this movie is that I did want this movie to end, it felt like it dragged on longer than it needed to, especially the drone fight. That’s really hard for me to say because I love Spider-man and I love Tom Holland as Spider-man, and I haven’t felt this way about a Spider-man film since the Amazing Spider-man 2. The only difference between those two films for me is that there were actually moments in this film I enjoyed watching, I.e. the Mysterio illusion sequence. (It was perfection, and all I wanted to see from this. I just wish that sort of thing continued throughout the story, and not for those two glorious moments.)

One of the things I didn’t like in this film was the romance. That could have been handled a lot better, especially between MJ and Peter. When did Peter start liking Michelle exactly? A slower progression might have been nice, and I know there was a time skip between Homecoming and Far From Home, and Peter could have developed feelings for her during that time, but I would have liked to see that development rather than just being told that it exists. People are saying that Tom and Zendaya have all this amazing chemistry, and they do, but in my opinion, that chemistry is in friendship only. That part at the beginning when Peter and Michelle were in Venice and talking about Italian words, that part was great, and it was believeable as a friendship. I wish that the writers would have kept the friendship aspect up, instead of pushing these two characters into a relationship so quickly. Peter Parker does not have to have a love interest in every Spider-man movie.

Let me talk about Michelle for a little bit. I don’t know how I feel about her. She’s not interesting to me. I guess she’s supposed to be a stand in for Mary Jane, but that’s all she is to me. She a poor representation of my favorite female fictional character, and that makes me very disappointed. Michelle has the same nickname, she shares the fact that she knows that Peter is Spider-man, and that’s about it when it comes to silimarities between comic MJ and her. In fact, Michelle is more similar to comic Gwen than comic MJ. Both Gwen and Michelle share the fact that they were both jerks to Peter because they liked him, they both have a fairly cute relationship with Peter (but that’s all that relationship is, cute, there’s nothing to ground that relationship), and she’s also incredibly smart but her character is dull. Comic MJ is much more interesting; she came from an abusive home, her mother died, her older sister hated her because she decided to leave to make something better for herself, she partied all the time as a defense mechanism against being alone, she figured out Peter was Spider-man and felt a connection with him because she wore a mask too. She was also respectful of Peter, never once did she act like a jerk to him to gain his attention (she had other ways of doing that), she was always playful, teasing, and confident in who she was and what she wanted. This is the character I want a proper depiction of in the movies. The only interpretations of this character that accurately represent Mary Jane Watson other than the comics are the Into the Spider-verse movie and the Spectacular Spider-man. Zendaya would make an amazing Mary Jane, and it’s a shame that’s not who she’s playing in the MCU.

Now that I got that out of the way, my other criticism of this movie is Mysterio. I wish Quentin and Peter had more screen time together so that way it would have been more devastating when he betrayed him. Think Spider-man PS4 and what they did with Doctor Octopus, that was a great betrayal arc. I also wish that it was just Quentin, rather than unnecessary side characters who helped him become Mysterio. And that scene where he’s explaining his plan and thanking everyone who helped was dumb and unnecessary. Don’t tell me what his plan is, show me. I also think the movie would have worked better with his comic book origin instead of the Tony Stark explanation we got. Quentin Beck was a special effects artist who wanted to be an actor, he’s a selfish, self-centered person who wants fame and the spotlight by any means necessary, even if that means becoming a super villain. That would have worked just as well if not better. That being said, I would have also loved to have seen more of Mysterio, the illusions were the best part of the movie! Jake Gyllenhall did an amazing job with what he was given though. I really like the chemistry that Jake and Tom display throughout the whole film.

I didn’t like that Aunt May is okay with Peter being Spider-man either. I wish we would have had a scene where they had a conversation that we got to witness to see her reaction to what her nephew had been doing for months. He’s risking his life every day, and it doesn’t seem like she cares. She doesn’t even try to talk him out of it? What if he dies again? Wouldn’t she be partially responsible for his death because she knew and she did nothing?

Now, some other things I liked in the movie. I liked seeing Peter get angry. All we’ve seen from Peter Parker thus far is him being happy go lucky, we’ve seen him sad, and we’ve seen him frustrated and confused, but never angry. Peter Parker in the comics has very little patience and has kind of a short fuse when it comes to certain things. So, I really enjoyed seeing him get angry, not just at Mysterio for tricking him, but also at himself because he made a mistake. I liked Betty and Ned, I thought they were hilarious together. Besides that, I already talked about the Mysterio illusion parts and Peter and Quentin’s screentime. That’s all I really enjoyed about this movie.

If I had to give this movie a score, I’d probably give it a 4/10? I don’t know. It pains me to score this so low, but I feel like a five is too high. Will I buy this movie on DVD, probably.