#I WANT TO LEARN GUITAR SINCE 8TH GRADE

[shortansweet]

Girls with trauma 🤝 musical instruments

[tarotomorrows]

WE GOT THE OG 5 IN THE HOUSE!!! This is part of my Inside Out punk au. Their band name is Harmony! So let me introduce their roles and how they came to be. PART 2

Our 3rd member is Fear! He joined Joy and Sadness’s clique way back in their 7th grade year.

He is the only band member who didn’t join already knowing how to play an instrument. In fact he actually started at the artist and would often make designs for the band’s potential logo and was very keen on staying out of any potential limelight. Although during the 8th grade talent show Joy and Sadness needed someone to play the guitar as Joy was planning to do some acrobatics/dancing choreography while singing and didn’t have the stamina to play and sing at the same time. Fear knew how much this meant to the two and had seen them practice for weeks and with only 2 weeks left he pushed his own fears aside and offered to learn the chords to the song to help the duo out. In the end he liked playing so much that he continued even after the show and with enough practice later on joined as the 3rd member.

During their time on the tour Joy forced them all into. He was the first to deny and the most out of it while on the trip. In fact he it got so bad it would interfere with playing which would upset Joy and the others but as time passed on it only seemed to bother Joy in the end.

He missed home and he didn’t ask for this but didn’t want to start conflict so in an act of desperation to feel heard he confided in Sadness about his true thoughts on the matter which sparked the ignition for Sadness to really have a talk with Joy about the stakes this whole music career dream has gotten them into. Once it was announced by Joy that they would be returning home he was ecstatic he didn’t care why he was just glad they were. Right? I mean what does it matter if the reasons are known…

Next is Anger he’s the teams killer drummer and owner/designated driver of Bing Bong! (The giant mini van the crew uses to travel in, who Joy named Bing Bong because of the silly sound the horn makes).

He was the fourth to be recruited to the team. After getting sent to detention for one of her senior pranks Joy met Anger in detention where she over heard the accidental killer rhythm he had going with his shoe and pencil tapping. Joy asked if he played he gave a simple eyes roll, which was good enough for Joy. She begged him to join and he proposed she couldn’t do anything in the world that would make him join her crazy idea. In the end Joy proved him wrong by breaking both if them out of detention and also returning the item he had stolen from him that he fought trying to get back (the whole reason which got him into detention his drumsticks). Reluctantly out of the honor system and due to a possible charming face he caved and became the band’s official drummer.

He may or may not have had issues with the whole unorganized and possibly dangerous on the road tour trip but he had faith in Joy’s judgement and the strength and bonds of the rest of the group. However the more and more the trip dragged on the more and more he started to realize just how far apart they actually were…

Last but certainly not least is Disgust! Although not a band member she is still an important asset of the crew as their manager. She handles finances,bookings, and how their brand is presented and NO, She will not be dressing in rags (aka how she refers to the punk/alt aesthetic) but she will deck herself out in her own uptown style.

She was the last to join the crew. Although friends with everyone since sophomore year she never partook in any of their “rough housings” she called it. She never saw the appeal in getting all sweaty and lugging around heaving metal equipment but one day Joy asked for her help to organize the flyers for the show they were doing for the Senior Festival.

Getting to talk about how amazing her friends were and how she’s affiliated with them and getting to look pretty while doing it. Now that was something she could do not to mention managing the funds for new equipment and getting to style them with awesome costumes for when they started doing shows outside of school. She loved everything about it the generosity, hanging out with friends, and the popularity…

During the trip she was the second to snapping, Fear obviously was the first. During the trip she did her best to manage the finances with the best odds she could, it started off alright but of course later on their lack of funds lead to more cramped nights sleeping in the van. It came to a point where she started to up-sale some of their merchandise in hopes of allowing the everyone to eat a full meal or have enough gas. After the fateful night Fear confided with Sadness, Disgust, overhead their conversation and grew livid, she could live with Joy’s delusions but blind ignorance towards other people’s own well being was not on the table. She swore that night that if Joy couldn’t see that this was beyond hopeless she was gonna knock her around and make her see it. That fateful evening when dinnertime arrived Disgust did more than just expose Joy’s selfishness but also how morally and emotionally taxing this dream of hers has been on all of them and what she’s had to resort to doing to meet ends meet for everyone. In the end Joy stormed off which is what prompted Sadness to have that heart to heart later on in the night.

In the morning after Joy announced about them going back to Anderson Falls a huge relief was lifted off their chest. Well some relief she still felt horrible about how Joy had treated them. However she wasn’t going to apologize for what she said to her, you don’t say sorry not for being right at least. So she vowed that until Joy owned up to her mistakes back home they’d keep the pleasantries to a minimum and distance herself as far as she could. It’s not like she had to try very hard as Joy had already began to stop talking or listening to her. Which is fine she can wait till Joy’s ready to be a grown up, she can patient I mean that’s all she’s ever given anyone. She can keep waiting, it doesn’t matter how long it takes…

[rileydoesvoices]

Hello! I’ve added Tumblr to my socials just in case Twitter dies!

I’m Riley, and while I’ve said a decent amount in my media kit up there, I’ll introduce myself a little more here!

I’m currently 30 years old, from the San Fernando Valley area of Los Angeles, California, but living in Georgia. I’ve always been a big fantasy nerd, growing up on Star Wars (I know, it’s sci-fi, but I’d argue sci-fi is also fantasy, just a different kind, and I’m sure I’m not the only one!), The Series That Shall Not Be Named (as with most kids, or at least kids with the privilege of a cishet white person, even if I’m not entirely any of those things, the bad messaging went over my head, and ofc She Who Shall Not Be Named had not revealed herself to be a TERF, yet), and Lord of the Rings, with some X-Files, Lost, and Jurassic Park floating around in the background. I went to performing arts schools for middle and high school, but there was always this inexplicable, indescribable block between me and performing the way I know I can in front of other people. I don’t know if “stage fright” is *quite* the right term, but I guess it could fit.

Fast forward to 2016 or so, and I’ve finished high school, struggled through trying to force myself through college (and dropped out of every semester in the attempt), joined the Navy, and wound up stationed in Georgia. My partner was a big World of Warcraft nerd (still kind of is, haha), and a handful of our fellow Sailors were who he regularly played with. These same people also enjoyed Dungeons and Dragons, and started watching Critical Role. I had never heard of Critical Role until a couple sessions into our short-lived, unfinished campaign, and I didn’t start watching it until August of 2021.

There were a few D&D games between that first campaign in 2016 and when I started binging Vox Machina and Mighty Nein and ExU to catch up to current (I’m currently caught up on Bell’s Hells), but none of them lasted, unfortunately. But Critical Role really opened my eyes to what D&D could really be, and between that and my falling in love with various characters and their voices in Elder Scrolls Online (some of whom happen to be CR cast members!), I couldn’t resist the call of the performing arts any longer.

I taught myself guitar starting at 10 years old and haven’t practiced in years, I performed in choir in 8th, 10th, and 11th grade and sang the National Anthem as well as “For Good” from Wicked at my high school graduation, as well as performing semi-regularly at some open mic nights after high school… but between my attempt at college, then my active duty time in the Navy, and then the stresses of being a directionless civilian once again when my enlistment was over, I let a lot of (who am I kidding — ALL of) my creative endeavors fall to the wayside.

Enter the year 2020. I somehow discovered Tea_The_Khajiit on Twitch and watched a bunch of her streams, realizing, “Hey, she’s just playing games and talking to her friends… I could do that!” So I decided to try streaming. It took me a bit to find my “brand,” and even now I’m not sure I’m completely sold on it, but I’ve somewhat settled into an identity of sorts over on my current channel (twitch.tv/Ysmeira). I’ve of course since learned that streaming is a LOT MORE than “just” playing games, but I’ve loved every bit of work that’s come with it! Over on that channel I mostly stream Animal Crossing, and Wylde Flowers. I started with just Elder Scrolls Online and I want to go back to it, but my computer just can’t keep up with both playing and streaming that game right now, unfortunately.

I’m hoping my first stream as Riley will be on both Twitch and YouTube in January! I want to upgrade my PC and possibly my mic before debuting, but I’m very excited!

I basically plan to stream making music, learning accents, some D&D actual play, and possibly art and a podcast if I finally start putting in some solid practice and can come up with some interesting topics.😅

Here are all my links in case that makes it easier for you to access them:

https://twitter.com/rileydoesvoices

https://instagram.com/rileydoesvoices

[misshappilyfading]

a long, totally non-psychotic, mini(?) rant about the beatles that's too long and embarrassing for twt

okay so i've recently come out of a SECOND months-long stint of...kim heechul/suju stuff and it's left me kinda...lacking something to fixate on. so rn my temp fix is...the beatles?? and like i've liked their music since i was a little kid, but i haven't had an extended phase of listening to their music since like..10th grade? so this is kinda weird and embarrassing to me but whatever, here are some of my favorite songs by them and why in no particular order!

twist and shout - highlight here besides the gen early 60s feel and 100% john's vocals. there's something really refreshing(?) and youthful about the way he yells the entire song. and ofc the "woooo"s + head shakes are so cute

she loves you - yeah yeah yeah

paperback writer - idk it's a classic

day tripper - idk it's a classic + the fucking GUITAR RIFF

can't buy me love - idk it's a classic. earworm

a hard day's night - idk IT'S A CLASSIC

i feel fine - the pep. the harmonies. im in love with her and i feel fine

eight days a week - sweet song. makes you feel good

i'm a loser - that first harmony just snatches you in. idc. i get it i love it

help! - the 2nd song i consciously knew was by the beatles and i liked it loads more than "i wanna hold your haaaaaaand". i like the bridge the most

yellow submarine - it's in my range and probably by 2nd favorite ringo song? and it's silly

taxman - shit slaps. one of my fav harrison songs. "yeaaaaahhhh the taxmaaaan" is up there for me

here, there, and everywhere - i cried. hard. twice. i tear up thinking about this song. idk how you can go through life normally knowing paul mccartney wrote this about you

i'm only sleeping - hear this for the first time recently and it reminded me of sleeping sun by coldplay and some popular US songs from the 90s...

good day sunshine - lol another i heard in a CM at some point but did not know it was the beatles...it's happy i like it

and your bird can sing - but you don't get me. but you don't get. meeeeee. i can't believe john hate this?? it's so good??? the fucking guitars like???

hello, goodbye - first heard this in the 2007 target commercial. loved it ever since. i really like all of it but the "she says why and i say i don't know" and "why why whywhywhywhy do you say goodbye goodbyeeeeeebyebyebyebye" are stand out parts to me!

back in the ussr - fun : )

glass onion - that fucking recorder towards the end. amazing

blackbird - one of those songs you hear so randomly just..around that you forget/don't know it's the beatles

while my guitar gently weeps - liked this one as a kid when i was feeling emo lololol. good song though : )

[faves from rubber soul, sgt pepper's, and abbey road get their own section (bc these are the only albums i've listened to all the way through...)]

songs that i don't really like but are meaningful in some way

i want to hold your hand - probably the first beatles song i ever heard? or at least consciously knew was by the beatles. bc my kindergarten music teacher made us learn the lyrics and sing it in class

eleanor rigby - ik this is a popular song but the first time i heard it was when my 3rd grade teacher played it backwards to show us how the beatles were connected to the illuminati and devil worship so. i still feel uneasy whenever i hear it. can't sit through the whole song :(

do you want to know a secret - okay i actually don't dislike this song, it's just that i listened to it so much during like 8th/9th grade that im tired of hearing it. still a good song though

yesterday - again it's not that i hate it or anything but lol it's overplayed. meaningful bc it's one of those songs you know at least a few words to even if you haven't heard the whole thing (which i have. too many times.)

all you need is love - not bad but a commercial song in my mind

i am the walrus - scared me as a child but i don't hate it now. coo-coo-kachoo

strawberry fields forever - scared me as a child but i don't hate it now

happiness is a warm gun - super mixed feelings. is it about heroin? sex with yoko ono? are one of those options actually better than the other??? but i fuck with the ending "happinessssss bang bang shoog shoog"

get back/don't let me know/let it be - mixed feelings so i have to be in a specific mood to listen to these

rubber soul (favorites in bold)

drive my car - not my favorite but i loooove the "beep beep beep beep yeah"

norwegian wood - one of the one's i did not listen to as child but as of literally yesterday, i love it. wish it were not inspired by affairs but. like damn the sitar. the general vibes. isn't it good? norwegian wood

you won't see me - i like it. for years i had only heard the chorus so the actual song was a bit different than i'd expected but it's good. "you refuse to even listeeeeen" i like. also the gradual tempo shift!! oooooooo lalala

nowhere man - WOW. okay so when i was little and heard a snippet of the chorus, i had 0 interest in listening to the full song. yesterday, though, that fucking intro caught me so off guard. the slight beachy vibes. paul calling this an "anti-john song" like wow. it's just a 10/10 laaaaaaaalalalalala

think for yourself - rock band trailers fucked this up for me a bit bc i always expect it to lead into the wait chorus. the actual chorus fucks though. i like it

the word - she's silly. she's 60s. she's pop. not my favorite, but those harmonies on "so fine" and "sunshine". man

michelle - loved this since i was 10. it's calming, it fucks. i don't fuck with french but. "until i do im hoping you will know what i mean" and "I LOVE YOUUUUUU" and the guitar solo. the fucking tempo shift

what goes on - ...country. hear fairly often as a kid though but didn't know it was beatles

girl - another one i had no interest in (and was slightly scared of) as a kid based on the chorus but oof. love the comparison between this and michelle. we live for europeans being european in different flavors. also this songs feels like drugs. could be hallucinating but it feels like there's a sliiiight tempo shift here too? or at least it feels like it slows juuuust a bit

i'm looking through you - arguably my favorite beatles song as a child. had me in a chokehold in 2009. "why why tell me why did you not treat me right?" "your lips are moving i cannot heard your voice is soothing but the words aren't clear"

in my life - much much more appreciated now that im older. didn't listen to this much when i was little but i've always always loved the riff and ending. maybe one of my favorite song endings ever

wait - something is kinda catchy about it. idk

if i needed someone - 60s feel. the harmonies are so nice. this is like an honorable mention for me

run for your life - ah nothing like references to violence against women to bring out that 60s feeling : ) shame the chorus is so catchy

sgt. pepper's lonely hearts club band

splhcb - yes. billyyyyyyyy shearsssssssssss

with a little help from my friends - YES. probably my favorite ringo song "do you neeeeeeeed anybody?"

lsd - not my favorite. drugs are bad. however i listened to this once when i was extremely drunk (i don't do any other drugs so) and i kinda got it? still not my favorite though

getting better - ah nothing like reference to violence against women to bring out that 60s feeling : ) paul is cute "me hiding me head in the sand" i really like this song but jesus john. i just it's better to admit and ask for forgiveness but. lord. but yeah this is a song that like...jabs you musically from the outset

fixing a hole - actually obsessed. this slaps, it fucks, it calms you down, hypes you up. im right where i belonggggg. that fucking guitar solo

she's leaving home - had only heard a bit of the chorus as a kid. was NOT expecting the entire song to sound how it does. cried on one listen. very beautiful

being for the benefit of mr. kite - the thing i like the most about this is the title

within you within out - ummm couldn't make it through the whole thing. christian upbringing means it gives me hives a little

when i'm sixty four - i liked it as a kid, i like it now. i will always be a supporter of paul's granny shit. it's cute. honorable mention for me

lovely rita - words cannot express how much i like this song. i liked it as a kid, i LOVE it now. the harmonies on "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDD aaaaaahhhhhhhh" also paul sound so british the entire time. "luvely rita mitah maid" "little white buke" "made her luke a little like a militry man" "may i inquire discRReetly when are you free to take some tea with MEEEE" it's a time. it's cute, a bit silly, and at the end you get sex! the bassline, the piano, the mouth chkchckchk, the fucking kazoo, i love it. Rita!

good morning good morning - another song i swear i've heard a bit of in a commercial or radio but i can't remember when/where. kinda makes me sad that john ended up not liking it, cause i like it. i get it. plus it sounds like morning.

splhcb reprise - i love it

a day in the life - scared me as a child but even then it kept it's alluring quality to me. not my absolute favorite, but i understand why some ppl regard it to be their best song

abbey road

come together - idk what to say. this is iconic music

something - heard for the first time yesterday and WOW. again idk what to say. shit is GOOD. song that makes you shut up

maxwell's silver hammer - ...i've loved this since 2009. and recording began on my birthday so it's always felt kinda special to me. ik she has haters but im glad paul made it. i live on corn. but also putting this right after something was a set up mayhaps

oh! darling - this FUCKS. don't think i have to say anything else. used to scare me a bit as a kid but i still listened

octopus's garden - def heard as a kid pre-2009 but idk where. not my fav but feels nostalgic

i want you (she's so heavy) - hm...i appreciate this as a piece of music although it's not my personal favorite. like i can its importance to the genre while still skipping. the outro is fucking insane though. and the scream

here comes the sun - do i even have to say anything? beyond "thank you parent trap soundtrack" probably the 3rd beatles song i'd ever heard

because - not a favorite but i like it

medley - you never give me your money will ALWAYS take me back to summer 2019 where i saw the opening lyrics as a metaphor for my own financial issues and depression. wild shit. sun king is like a peak 7pm summer song. love it. another song that makes you shut up. mean mr. mustard and polythene pam i've always loved since i was 10. they're fun to me. the bassline in mmm fucks hard. yeahhhh yeah yeah. in she came in through the bathroom window i like "sunday's on the phone to monday. tuesday's on the phone to me". golden slumbers i like less but i like the quiet parts and how it leads into carry that weight. one of the few times i want paul to not yell. carry that weight feels like the ending of a movie + the link back to yngmym. then you get to the end. which is just. wow. how many other groups can say they've ended their career on something like that? paul yelling, the solos, "love you love you"

and in the end, the love you take

is equal to the love you make.

(jk ik her majesty's a pretty nice girl. i also view this more as an easter egg but i do like it for a personal reason)

[ramblingvents]

Really long vent that I just needed to write out somewhere, tw for long term depression and suicidal thoughts

Sometimes nostalgic songs are painful because a lot of my favorite songs as a child were sad. In middle school I listened to a lot of Jonathan Colton. I always thought it was because I hyperfixated on Portal, which it partially was, but I was drawn to a lot of the songs about feeling sad. The mudanity that came with doing the same thing day in and day out, of not feeling like you belonged.

I think I've been depressed since I was very young. The first song I played on the guitar was Eleanor Rigby. Whenever I was sad as a kid, I would think of digging myself a while and burying myself in it until the world faded away. The first time I remember being suicidal was when I was 11, and a pop-up for a helpline appeared when I looked up the tallest bridge in my city. I made a promise to myself at that age. No matter how much pain I was in, no matter how much I hurt myself, I would never hurt anyone else. In my head, this included hurting people by telling them what I was feeling. For years I used to cry to myself at night, unwilling to tell my parents what was wrong because I didn't want to hurt them. They were already dealing with so much hurt from their parents already that I didn't want to make things worse. My mom always said G-d gives you what you can handle, and she must not have been able to handle a lot because I was an easy kid. I didn't have a lot of friends at school and I was very moody, but atleast I could convince myself I wasn't a burden in one aspect.

By the time I was in 8th grade, I knew I was depressed. I stuck by the promise I made, even though I shouldn't have. In highschool, my reasoning turned from fear of being a burden to full on paranoia. News about school shooters being mentally ill were everywhere, jokes about the depressed kid showing up with a gun. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I didn't want my classmates or teachers to be scared of me, so I tried to hide my depression from my teachers and classmates. I started having nightmares about someone finding out and being institutionalized for the rest of highschool. When I was 15, I almost killed myself. I got really scared at the last minute and self harmed instead, telling my mom I cut myself while shaving. She didn't ask any questions, she just helped me stop the bleeding. Sometimes I wish she would have. I spent the rest of highschool avoiding the guidance counselors as much as possible. And when I was really at my limit, when I didn't think I would be able to function anymore at age 16 and decided I was either gonna do something drastic or finally get help, the pandemic started. My anxiety about "being found out" was now fueled into health anxiety, fears of dying every night due to some unknown side effect of getting Covid. Of having a heart attack. Of my parents getting sick and dying. It only intensified after one of my teachers died suddenly.

This lasted until I started college. My first semester, I enrolled in my college's counseling services. My whole childhood, I told myself as soon as I got out of my parents house and became an adult I would get better. I would do the therapy, take the medication, and fix myself and everything would be fine. And then, it didn't work. My therapist spent the whole session talking about study techniques I could never get myself to keep up for more than a few weeks. Then I got news that my grandpa was gonna die, at the same time as I had a falling out with my friend group, and I became suicidal again. At that point I still occasionally couldn't sleep due to health anxiety and couldn't drive due to general anxiety, so my parents offered to pay for private counseling.

I've been in therapy for a year and a half now and have learned some of my mental health issues are due to emotional abuse. But I still have anxiety attacks and panic attacks regularly. And I'm still passively suicidal, sometimes actively. I had to call the suicide prevention three times during the last two months of this past semester.

And I'm feeling better now, no longer passively suicidal most days even, but I think I'm still scared at how close I got and sad about how I'm still depressed after all this time. My whole life I wanted to get better. I wanted to be able to say to my younger self that having hope was worth it, that everything would get better, but I don't know if I can accurately say that. I'm glad I stayed alive, but I don't know if I can really say I've learned to deal with my depression. I think I've just gotten more used to it as my default.

I don't know how to get better. I think I can, eventually, but I don't even remember what not being depressed feels like and even that uncertainty scares me.

And I feel like I'm mourning having depression a lot of my childhood. I mourn that kid who dealt with all of those feelings alone, who felt like she had to. I mourn who I could have grown up to be if I hadn't grown up that way. And I don't know who I should be now. But I hope that there's an older version of myself looking back at me the same way I look back at that kid and saying that we got better, that we made it, and that it's worth sticking around.

[computermaus]

Some HC's :) Older teenage

Stan

Decided to leave the footballteam in 6th grade

Has become vegetarian in 8th grade

He has book of whales and dolphins

Enjoys watching sea documentaries

He is against Sea World or any whale shows who hold whales and dolphins in captivity. Has lead many protests against it.

He has a very good aim

He goes to a shooting range when stressed. Nobody knows this until 11th grade.

Favourite class his biology. It's the only class he is in AP at.

He bought a Star Wars Millennium Falcon on his 16th Birthday. And Kyle thought it was absolutely stupid paying 800 Dollars for that. (Stan is the type of person to do that. Can't convince me otherwise)

He likes to ride a bike occasionally for a few hours

He learned snowboarding by himself and enjoys it much more than skiing

He has learned to play the electric guitar in 6th grade.

He likes to sing when he is on his own or makes up songs on his own and sings them.

He has habit how losing things.

He is very scared to become like his father. He likes to keep himself busy so he won't fall into his addiction tendencies.

Is still fair skinned. Eventhough he had been living on a farm slnce he was 10. He doesn't get a tan.

He goes to the Spa on special occasions to relax

He was born with small breathing tubes. He has to carry an asthma inhaler in case he is short of breath

He gets nauseating from using the swings. But has no problems being on a boat

He can't dive for longer than 5 seconds without any equipment.

He passed his driving test after two lessons and at the first try without any mistake.

Kyle

He got in the basketballteam in junior year of Highschool

He got in a fight with with Cartman on the first day of Highschool.

He's the leader of the Math Quest

Has installed an app or software so teachers won't have to deal with computer viruses. ( Look I have no idea if this is accurate or not. Just roll with it)

He's in AP math, computer science, history, physics, geography, and english.

He's good at saving money

His anger has gotten worse at the beginning of his teenage years. Forcing him to take Anger Management classes.

When he's drunk he spends money on stupid things he later regrets when sober.

Kyle uses hand sanitizer before entering any building

He doesn't like it when someone or himself lies on his bed with their streetclothes and only lies on his bed in his pyjamas.

He sometimes helps out his father in his law firm. His father wants him to become a lawyer but Kyle is unsure

He can't deal with situations he didn't plan beforehand and doesn't like spontaneity.

He looked up spoilers when watching Game of Thrones with Stan but never told him.

He hates to cry in front of people that aren't his friends or family and rather gets angry.

In Music class they had to sing a song. Because Kyle didn't want to hear his own voice he had worn headphones. (They were allowed to do so). Some students started to laugh.

Kyle hates music class. He has complained many times how useless it is to force students to sing in front of their classmates only to embarrass them. When they have no interests or talent in singing (my personal opinion and I'm still traumatised. look i was a shy 14 year old girl. You can't expect me to sing in front of two classes.)

He likes when a student preferably in math class doesn't understand something, so he can explain it to them. ( THis is NOT what I did. 👀)

He started to smoke in junior year and quit after 5 months

He was in double as much detention as Stan and this because of the many fights Kyle got into. When Kenny showed him that fact Kyle didn't want to believe it was true.

Kenny

He collects snails in his backyard. He then organises a snail race and lets people pay entry. And also makes bets

Inspired by the movie the Kissing Booth he also wanted to make on in Highschool to raise money for some trip. This idea was declined

He likes Poetry

He goes to singing classes to master his oper singing skills since 8th grade

He has watched every episode of the Vampire Diaries and Gossip Girls

He is never much prepared when holding presentations and never has a poster or any visual presentation than himself. When the teacher pointed this out at one point, he said: Watching him should be enough.

He wouldn't go on a rollercoaster

He doesn't listen in class and asks Kyle what they have for homework.

He still does okay in tests

He made a pseudonym called: " MC the Lovedoctor. And gives advice for love sick students, he read from Cosmopolitan

Yes Kenny unironically reads the Cosmopolitan

He bites his nails

He has trouble opening up emotionally in relationships and that's because of the neglect he got from his parents

Kenny saves the money he earns for music college

He uses alot of self deprecating jokes.

He got his first phone in 7th grade

He is still a fan of NASCAR

He teaches Stan self defense. He teaches him stuff he learned by himself from living " In the Hood" he so nicely calls it. When Stans old house is like 20 steps away.

He found a possum in a trash and called it Louvre. And has adopted it. Kyle is absolutely disgusted by that thing. And one time when Stan, Kyle and Kenny were hanging in Kyle's room Kenny has brought that possum with him. It broke free from Kennys grasp and jumped on Kyles holy tempel. His bed.

The possum hates Kyle and attacked him several times

The possum loves Stan

He needs braces but can't afford them

He told Stan to invite him to a Spa trip with him.

He once jumped out of the window in the 8th floor when he didn't want to be in Detention anymore. The next day everyone forgot Kenny killed himself and that he was in detention. He regrets doing it and won't do it again. During is death Satan has scolded him out and how reckless he was acting.

Cartman

He loves the Possum for attacking Kyle

He likes to wear shirts that don't fit him

He got diabetes type 2 at 16.

He eats in class when he feels stressed. Its almost all the time

He likes to provocate Kyle so he will fight him and get detention for it.

He runs a club in Highschool called: "the Abstinences" They had sworn out any sexual activities and it doesn't belong to his Christian beliefs. He hides the fact he is scared of it and insecure. He shames people who are more promiscuous.

He believes because of this club he will go to Heaven

When partying he is unable to stop with the alcohol. Because of his fat it takes him longer to get drunk

He doesn't know how to shave and goes to school with razer cuts on his face.

He gets results from tests and sells them to other students

He still does terribly in school because he sucks at memorising.

He has a dream of owing his own slaughterhouse.

He gets defensive when someone asks him about his father

He has poor coordination skills.

He is to lazy to do the driving test and uses the excuse that his friends should drive him around

He won a eating contest. He ate 50 Burgers in 15 minutes.

He does good presentations in school and enjoys doing them

He has complained many times that students weren't allowed to use the elevator in school and had to use the stairs. The teacher told him to lose weight. In which Cartman told the principal the teacher was fat shaming him.

He cuddles with his cat before going to sleep

[doodloos]

Here's the last of my oc character sheets for now! We will be ending with Logan (my beloved)! Logan lives by the philosophy of as long as no one can tell you don't know what you're doing, you can do anything. Also have some extra doodles of him in some alternate hair styles because I love. His backstory will be down below!

Logan is the son of Loki and is able to use magic like him as well as being a trained sword fighter. He was raised on earth and lives with his mom and little sister, Shade and although they weren't raised in Asgard, they visited a lot when they were younger. Logan was recruited by SHEILD when he was 13 and initially didn't want to join, but ended up doing so when his little sister was recruited as well. He truly believes in the term "fake it 'til you make it" in the sense that as long as he pretends to know what he's doing hard enough, something good will probably happen. He's emotional, passionate, and tries his best not to get involved in things that don't concern him. Logan was born in west Texas, but after the death of his great aunt, his mom inherited her house and bakery in Brooklyn. He was 6 when they moved. After moving, he quickly befriended Jason (who he also had a crush on for a few years in middle school), and since then, the two have been best friends.

One of Logan's greatest passions is music. He mainly plays the drums, but also loves to play guitar and piano. He can also vaguely play pretty much every other concert instrument and loves to sing. He was in band and theater all through school (and forced Jason to do it with him) and was a part of many musicals in school as well. Most times, outside of school and mission, he could be found scream singing in his room, practicing an instrument, or playing video games until he drops unconscious. Being the children of Loki, Logan and his sister would usually spend a month of their summers in Asgard learning about their family history and honing their skills in combat and sorcery. While Logan's sister was always close with their father, Logan was always more distant, slightly resenting him for leaving them and their mom on earth. Logan is currently dating Maddie. The two have known each other for many years, since Maddie is Logan's little sister's best friend, but the two didn't become close until 8th grade when Maddie skipped a grade and ended up in many of Logan's classes. The two had been crushing on each other for a while before Logan finally got courage to ask her out

[tangyblock]

SMSBI AU Masterpost!

Ok so masterpost time! This is mostly a rundown of the happenings in the AU, what role each character plays/their rundown. As an important note, if a CC at any time makes it known that they are uncomfortable with anything I do or include in this AU, it will be removed! There will be no smooth narrative exit, I’ll edit so it would have never happened.

This is set in New York City, during the modern day!

Tommy Robin (15 y/o):

He’s a sophomore in high school (Year 11 for the Europeans)

He got his spider powers at the end-of-year field trip in 7th grade to a science center! He was bitten by a radioactive spider, thus giving him his abilities.

He spends his 8th grade year making sure he has a handle on his powers (I mean, come on, he’s read comics. Now that he has these powers, surely he has to go out into the city and become a vigilante!) and making his spidersuit with his best friend, Tubbo!

He has the following abilities: super strength, spidey sense, increased regeneration, able to stick to walls/ceilings, and his own ~~unique~~ ability to teleport within a short range (anywhere within a 15 foot radius)

He wears his emotions on his sleeve, and is not the best liar.

Wilbur Robin (16 y/o):

He’s a junior in high school (Year 12 for the Europeans)

He has a twin brother: Techno Robin! Wilbur was born second rip

He loves music so much, oh my god-- he has his own guitar and spends most of his time writing original songs and busking on the streets of NYC. 

Help this kid, he’s so sleep deprived, he spends way too much time trying to become a well-known musician. He’s really good, too! He’s just not getting recognized for his talents.

Wilbur (nicknamed Wil) is so oblivious to situations, god bless him man

Techno Robin (16 y/o):

He’s a junior in high school (Year 12 for the Europeans)

He has a twin brother: Wilbur Robin! Techno was born first tho lol

He works at a Barnes and Noble, and is on the high school’s Academic Decathlon team! He’s very smart, he knows his shit. You can’t fool him.

Probably has a caffeine addiction, let’s be real. Who is a gifted kid and doesn’t have some sort of caffeine addiction?

Unlike Wilbur, he’s not oblivious At All. He’s lowkey suspicious of Tommy: is he Spider-Man? He has a list in his head, but come on. There are so many people in New York, it can’t possibly be his little brother!

...right?

Phil Robin (36 y/o):

He works as tech support (like answering calls and helping customers) at Huxley Industries, which specializes in scientific/medical tech, as well as household gadgets.

Since he is raising three boys on his own, he has another part-time job at a convenience store.

I won’t go into too much detail, but the bio mom of the three kids divorced and they agreed for her to have no part in their lives.

ANYWAYS changing tone! He’s a very caring dad to his 3.5 kids (the half kid being Tubbo because he’s always with Tommy so he becomes a pseudo kid overnight)

All I can say is Big Dad Energy(TM)

He doesn’t want his kids to worry or overwork themselves. He just wants them to be safe and be successful in whatever career they pursue. No matter what, he’s supporting them. 

Tubbo Cooper (15 y/o):

Tommy’s absolute best friend, he’s ride or die, man.

A sophomore in high school (Year 11 for Europeans!)

Helped Tommy make his spider suit! He’s really talented with mechanical engineering!

He lives ten minutes away from Tommy, often visiting him and vice versa.

He learned basic first aide! After every patrol, he meets Tommy in an alleyway and helps cleanup any injuries that would raise concern to his family. Though, he did promise that if a fight ever got out of hand, he would call and tell Phil.

He’s the man in the chair! Think Ned from the MCU and Ganke from Miles Morales’s story.

Installs cameras in Tommy’s suit so he can see what Tommy sees at all times, so he can give the most accurate info.

God he loves his friend, and yes gamers, he still loves bees ;D

Jordan Cooper (25 y/o):

Tubbo’s older brother! He does his best.

This one isn’t too obvious, but it’s CaptainSparklez!

It’s the Captain! He got the nickname from Tubbo, since he was Percussion Captain in his high school’s marching band and Tubbo instantly started calling him Captain

He works as a video game designer/programmer, or so that’s what he says...

He has a mini-van and no you can’t convince me otherwise.

He watches over Tubbo, as his older brother, since their parents aren’t around.

He has a strict moral compass, he believes in justice above all else. Without justice, good cannot be accomplished.

He works out so much, he has a little gym in the apartment.

George Alexander (30 y/o):

Since I don’t think this one is inherently obvious, it’s GeorgeNotFound oop--

He’s the founder and CEO of Huxley Industries, and also the villain Inveni (thank you Jean for the poggers name)

He works with his two “buddies,” Dream and Sapnap, who only go by their villain names. 

Think Kingpin.

Messed up morals, but untouchable: if you try to bring him down, his money can make him recover.

Dream (??? y/o):

Think Mysterio, but like. Not special effects.

He is a master of illusions! He loves getting into his enemy’s head and just messing with them. To him, mental damage is the most powerful.

How he got his powers is unknown to the public, but it’s thought that he got them alongside Sapnap.

Sass Master 10,000(TM)

Sapnap (??? y/o):

Think Fire Elemental, but like. Human.

He has the ability to summon and manipulate fire to however he sees fit! He’s a bit more of a brute, and my god, he hates the sass he gets from Spider-Man.

His power’s origins, just like Dream’s are unknown, although there is speculation.

Future characters may be added, but the above are who we have so far!

Additional Facts:

Tommy has a white/red suit, with blue and purple accents. It’s mostly white with red lining!

Tommy has saved Wilbur and Phil, without them knowing. Wilbur began busking in the wrong area, and nearly got jumped, and Phil was on a hijacked subway train.

Phil panic cleans, this is canon.

It took Tubbo and Tommy MONTHS to figure out the perfect web fluid formula. Imagine their absolute joy when they figure it out!

We got a Spotify playlist! Here’s the link, enjoy~~: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0bM10OHfYRdL86UzKT7Frf?si=FTH-i9H8RK28zVgeOEdy7g

PS: Asks are open! Feel free to ask away about this AU, I’d be more than happy to answer!

PPS: SHOUT OUT TO THE BINGO STANS FOR HELPING ME MAKE THIS AU YALL GAVE ME SO MANY 10/10 IDEAS

[illogicallyinclined]

Hey did any of the Boys play any instruments in middle or highschool? Do any of them still play instruments? (Except Logan on the piano, ik about that one) I just had a band concert tonight, and we played a Beatles mashup. It was awesome.

we stan some artistic boys

tws: mention of financial issues, D’s ongoing struggle with the foster system 

Core 8 

Logan, as you’ve mentioned, plays piano -- though he was never really in an organized band because of the time commitment 

Remy did marching band all four years of high school, in part because Emile convinced him to, in part because it beat having to take the same shitty art teacher four years in a row. his first two years, he did Guard, but he switched to the pit for the second two years when he got sick of having to practice outdoors, and although he never really learned the vibraphone in earnest, he was at least able to learn the notes well enough to play the simple chord progressions that the director needed him to; he also started learning guitar his freshman year of college

Emile absolutely shredded it on saxophone, both in his school’s marching band and symphony orchestra. he started playing the sax in the 6th grade, and he hasn’t stopped since. (catch him in the university jazz band, playing some Smooth Jazz For Your Soul)

Patton started playing tuba in the 7th grade and ended up playing it all four years in orchestra. he would have liked to march baritone in the fall, but when forced to choose between hockey and marching, he stuck with hockey

Roman started playing clarinet in the 8th grade per his parent’s request, and he consequently ended up playing for a wind ensemble all four years of high school. he didn’t particularly enjoy clarinet, so he hasn’t really touched it since, but it feels like a waste not to refine the skill he spent so long honing, so he does consider picking it back up now and again

Remus’s parents didn’t really care what he did, so when given the option, he stuck with art instead of doing band. besides, it was infinitely more fun to play horrifying notes on Roman’s clarinet than to actually try to learn how to properly play something 

Virgil also chose to do art instead of band (because band equipment... expensive), but he can still shred it on the recorder, and the percussion teacher taught him some basic beats on drum set whenever his mother was running late to pick him up, so he has those under his belt now as well

D had no interest in band and had no interest in learning an instrument in general when he was constantly moving around so much, so he stuck to taking art courses with Virgil. now that he’s older, he’s considered trying to learn something, but he isn’t sure what he wants to pursue 

OCs

Payton has played trombone since the sixth grade, and Jared features this trombone in the TikToks they make in the apartment constantly

Jared played trumpet in high school, and he regrets not learning a meme-ier instrument like the sax or trombone Every Day of His Life

Peter, like Roman, learned clarinet in middle school, but he was never all that good. he did guard for marching instead, and hasn’t touched his clarinet for a good four years now as a result

Myles can play the guitar, and he learned how to passably play some simple tunes on the cello as well when he was trapped in a music room with his cellist friend for five hours

Holly learned drumset in earnest and has offered to show Virgil some more complex beat structures, which Virgil is almost definitely going to take him up on when he finds the time

Bo can play both the snare drum and marimba, but he heavily prepares the marimba since marching snare drums make sounds that are so harsh

[jbbarnesnnoble]

Let Me Go

Summary:  When your fiance returns from his deployment, things aren’t the same. With your band getting ready to go full steam into your debut album, Bucky becomes too much, and you know that if your relationship is going to survive and be healthy, you need to go. 

Features: Angst; Happy ending; mentions of Bucky losing his arm; 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader

Notes: This has been a WIP for a while that I kept coming back to. I almost scrapped this. Their relationship isn’t healthy at the start, but that’s why things play out how they do. 

EDIT: forgot to mention, Kisses at Airports is a 100% real song by the amazing Cassadee Pope

Word Count: 2352

A wandering soul, a dreamer, a lover. The adjectives ascribed to you by the ones you loved, by the ones you were willing to lose in the pursuit of your dreams. You had dreams and staying was keeping you from them. You knew he never meant to keep you like a caged bird, he never realized that it was what he was doing. 

He excuses for why you shouldn’t do something were weak. “It’s too far”, “Have you seen the crime rate there?”, “what if something happens and I’m not there?”. You loved him. You did. But he clung to you like a leech, slowly draining you of your dreams of a life far away. It wasn’t healthy. He had his own issues to work through and he never would if you stayed. It hadn’t always been that way. You remembered a time when it wasn’t that way, where he wasn’t the one thing holding you back from your dreams. 

The summer air was filled with the scent of freshly made funnel cakes, spun sugar of cotton candy, and the smell of fresh rain. You had gone for cover in one of the buildings on the fairground, watching as the rain fell. His arms were wrapped around you, his left hand holding on to the cotton candy that had nearly fallen victim to the rain outside. You held tight to the moment. He’d be leaving soon, and moments like those were ones to cherish. 

“Think you’ll still get to play?” he asked as he tore a piece off and held it to your lips. You took the bit of sugary fluff into your mouth, smiling at the artificial taste of grape. It always had been a favorite of yours. 

“Wait for it. The show must go on,” you told him, nodding toward the bay doors where the rain was clearing. He laughed as you pulled him out of the building and toward the stage that was set up. Music was your passion. You dreamed of Nashville, of playing the Ryman, of one day joining the Opry. 

You had a band, a group that had been friends since childhood. They were your family, not by blood but by shared experiences. Natasha Romanoff was a badass with a guitar, Wanda Maximoff was a hell of a drummer, something no one ever expected. They always thought Nat would be the drummer and Wanda would be a guitarist or a fiddle player. Sharon Carter was your bass player, and Wanda’s brother Pietro was your keyboard player. The East Coast Connection was what you’d called yourselves since high school. Now, four years later, you were close to being able to head to Nashville and really try.  

The two of you found your friends. Steve was helping with the setup, but it looked more like he was getting distracted by Sharon. The pair had gotten married earlier in the summer. Carol Danvers was an addition to your close-knit group. Carol was a welcome addition, along with Sam Wilson. Carol, who Wanda had fallen head over heels with. They worked with Steve in New York, with the FDNY. You spotted Peter, MJ, and Ned in the mix. It seemed like everyone was there, everyone except…

“Where’s Barton?” you heard Bucky ask. Everyone paused and looked around. You swore you saw Nat swear under her breath. Clint Barton on the loose at the end of summer fair was never a good thing. You remembered the year he managed to take off with the entire pot of clams that had been put out for the annual seafood dinner night that was part of the fundraising efforts of the volunteer fire department that put on the fair. 

No one could forget the year Clint managed to hide terrifying-looking clowns in the Funhouse. 11-year-old Peter Parker ran out screaming and his Aunt May went on a warpath to find Clint. That was the summer before you entered 8th grade. Bucky, Steve, and Clint were a year ahead of you with Nat. Your year had the twins, Wade Wilson, who still showed up at random, though no one knew exactly what he was up to since high school, and Bruce Banner. 

Clint, as it turned out, had gone to meet Tony Stark. Not only did Stark own Stark Industries, but he had ventured into other industries, namely the music industry with a start-up based out of Nashville. Tony had been a senior your freshman year. His parents prided themselves on the fact that he went to public school, never mind the fact that your school was one of the top in the state. As far as you knew, Stark had settled down recently and was expecting a child with his wife Pepper. 

By the time Clint showed up with Tony, the band had taken the stage. You were so wrapped up in the show, you didn’t notice them. You slowed things down a bit in the middle of the set.

“This song...I wrote it thinking about something I really don’t want to think about. It’s called Kisses at Airports,” you said. You nodded your head to the beat, doing your best not to cry as the song neared the end.

“How many times do we take for granted? Kisses at airports, by open car doors, no I don’t wanna let go. I just wanna make sure you know, this one means I missed you. This one means I’m going to, make every one I give you baby be a little more, like kisses at airports, like kisses at airports,” you sang. You didn’t let yourself look at Bucky until the last note, seeing the emotion on his face clearly. 

You hadn’t played that one for him. You weren’t sure it was because you wanted it to be a surprise or because you didn’t want to acknowledge the truth. He was deploying soon, hopefully for the last time if you had it your way. His enlistment was up at the end of this one. He had been lucky enough to be stationed back home this time before deploying. 

You snapped out of your thoughts with the slam of the front door, followed by a muffled stream of curses. Alpine jumped from her perch on your lap. The ring you wore sat heavy on your left hand. He had proposed before he left, nearly a year ago. Four months in, you got the news about his injury. Two months later, he was home. You and the band had been in the studio, having signed on with Tony’s label. The amount of creative freedom he’d given you had shocked you. 

When you’d found out about Bucky’s injury, Tony made sure the band could stay in the area, that you had the support. Tony was the reason Bucky had a top of the line, custom made prosthetic. It was one of a kind. 

The past six months had been filled with physiotherapy and with Bucky’s visits to a therapist. It did nothing to quell the storm raging in his head. You could tell that much. You felt awful, for thinking about leaving. Felt like you were kicking him while he was down. Losing his arm and his fiancee in quick succession? It wouldn’t be forever. You knew his mental health wasn’t your responsibility, that distance was necessary. Nashville was the focal point, where the two of you couldn’t agree. He needed to stay in the area. His doctors were there. Tony was there. His new job with Stark Industries was there. 

You looked up when he came in. He looked exhausted. For a moment, you felt your resolve crumble. You had a bag packed, sitting beside you with your guitar. You were just waiting for your ride. Steve would be coming over after you left, you and the band heading for Nashville to do the things you needed to. The networking, the shows, preparing for the album launch. 

“Where are you going?” Bucky asked, his voice cracking. You sighed.

“James…,” you started to say.

“You’re leaving me. I need you here,” he said. You shook your head.

“It’s not healthy. This. Whatever this is right now. We need time apart and the band...we have so much to do before the album comes out. You and I...we’re not good for each other right now, Buck,” you said. 

“You’re leaving me,” he repeated. You stood up, placing your hand gently on his cheek, leaning to kiss him. He held you tight, not wanting to let go.

“It’s not forever. You need to let me go, James,” you said. He rested his forehead against yours. Conflict swirled around him. 

“What if I don’t want to?” he asked. Your breath caught in your throat as you felt the familiar sting of tears.

“You have to. This...what we’ve been since you came home...it’s not healthy. It’s not good. It’s not good for you. It’s not good for me. I won’t be gone forever. But you have to learn how to let me go again. You have to. This...whatever this has been...we need the time apart before we destroy ourselves,” you said, your voice breaking. The two of you sat in silence, holding one another, until a knock came at the door, along with a text from Sharon. Clint was driving you all to the airport and had dropped Steve off. You grabbed your bag and your guitar, Bucky trailing behind you. 

“Please,” he whispered. You shook your head.

“It’s for the best,” you said, kissing him one last time before you walked out the door and to the car. You couldn’t bring yourself to look back as Steve ushered him back into the house. You felt your heart break a little more. It wasn’t forever, you reminded yourself. 

In the car, you just shook your head when Natasha asked about what had happened. You stared out the window as Clint pulled away, the sunlight catching on your ring as you left Bucky in the rearview. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nashville was a lot of things, but it wasn’t home. You enforced a strict policy of two phone calls a week with Bucky. The first week you had been gone, he was constantly calling and texting to check on you. You reminded him that you needed the space. You both needed it, even if he was unwilling to see it. One month passed, and then the second and a third. Four months passed and the album was releasing. To your surprise, the band had been asked to play the Opry. Before that the band was appearing on a radio show. You knew you were going to be asked about the songs, about your relationship. You wished he could be there. Once upon a time, he had been your most vocal supporter, promising to be there for every milestone he could. If the others knew what was on your mind as you sat waiting for the interview to start, they didn’t let on. 

“You have this song, Kisses at Airports, what was the inspiration there?” Bobby asked. You sighed.

“My fiance is...was in the military. He joined right out of high school. He’s home now, but those years...those years were filled with kisses at airports, saying goodbye without saying goodbye,” you explained. 

“Will he be at the Opry debut?” he asked. You bit your lip.

“It’s up in the air. He’s recovering at the moment,” you said, unwilling to give a deeper answer than that. You were checked out for the rest of the interview, Nat and Sharon doing most of the talking while Wanda and Pietro watched you with concern. You were quiet when the interview ended and you were heading to the venue. It wasn’t until you got to the dressing room that Wanda brought up the elephant in the room.

“You want him here, don’t you?” she asked. You nodded.

“He’s my best friend. Of course I want him here,” was all you said. You were more subdued through the afternoon as the band prepared for the show. You were nervous, more nervous than you’d been for any show you’d ever done. This was the Opry. How many greats had stood in that circle before you?

As you stepped onto the stage after the band was introduced, you looked out at the crowd. You tried to commit it to memory. Second only to the day Bucky proposed to you, this was the best day of your life. The opening chords of Kisses at Airports started and you didn’t have to think as you sang, Bucky on your mind. 

When you got off the stage, you were surprised to see a crowd outside the dressing room. Steve was there for Sharon. But with Steve was someone you didn’t expect. Bucky. When the two of you had spoken earlier in the week, he mentioned not being sure he could fly out. Between him not feeling comfortable traveling and his new job, you understood. But there in front of you was Bucky. You smiled at him. He looked surprised as you hugged him, squishing the flowers he held. After a moment, he laughed before he picked you up and spun you around. His laughter was a sound you had missed so much. Before you had left, you wondered if you would ever hear it again. 

He was doing better than he was the day you left for Nashville. Therapy helped you both. Texting was a daily thing now, phone calls whenever one of you just wanted to hear the other. You looked at him, really looked at him. He looked rested, more than he had in the six months leading up to your departure. 

“Missed you,” he said, his voice low. You smiled.

“Missed you too,” you replied before leaning to kiss him. 

“Alright lovebirds, let’s get going. We have dinner reservations,” Natasha said, breaking the two of you out of the bubble you had found yourselves in. For a moment, it had been as if no one else was there, just the two of you, finally back together again. 

[scrapeyour-knee]

1, 4, 6, 7, 27, 29, 30, 31

ANON!! I just saw this so here we go.

1. Favorite way to dress

I thrive off cuteness but I also can't stand being uncomfortable, so (if I'm not dressed for work), I'm almost always in short dresses with flats or sandals, or shorts with oversized tops, lots of patterns and bright colors. Besides that, I've always got to wear big earrings and I've got 6 rings I wear all the time so I refuse to be unaccessorized. My boyfriend pointed out that he rarely sees me in anything form fitting and that's 💯 true. Basically my style icon is Claudia Kishi from BSC but if she hated her body.

4. What does your room smell like?

I use a candle warmer up there to cover up the cat box smell, so rn it smells like a honey and neroli candle I got from Marshalls. Other than that, it smells like shower smells or cat on a bad day.

6. What kind of music would you listen to if you could only choose one?

Ughhhh I don't like this question and I didn't read through them at ALL before I reblogged it........... Anyway. I really do pepper shit from every genre into my library so idk. I lean towards "pop" because that's a very big loose genre I could shove a lot of people into, but it would prohibit me from listening to Joanna.......... Much to think about.

7. Answered this somewhere along the line idr when!!

27. Hardest breakup

Hehehehe whew boyyyyy I sure hope you're not an ex because you're probably wondering if you win the title!! I had a trifecta of horrible relationships and subsequent messy ass breakups, then one more sincerely sadder one eventually. Uhhhh hm I guess if I had to choose for sheer difficulty on me, the one that treated me absolutely horribly and damaged me psychologically to this very day, then announced he was moving across the country to be with his son BUT didn't want to break up with me, wouldn't let me break up with him, THEN gaslit me for a month into believing our relationship would work (while trying to convince me to move with him which was ironic because he planned all along to.......), Inevitably ending in him dumping me over text message as soon as he made it to his son and ex girlfriend. Btw he was 10+ years older than me. I was an absolute wreck for a long time (I got really physically ill, lost a lot of weight and hair, and missed 2 weeks of work) and, like I said, I still struggle all the time with the fallout and work through it during my current relationship YEARS later. Tbh my breakup after that was even MESSIER but the whole relationship was really a reaction to that one so 🤙 I'm an idiot!!! Or was I guess

29. Thoughts on Tumblr discourse

30. What instrument do you wish you could master?

I will be the most basic of Joanna Stan and say the harp but tbh I tried to learn guitar in 8th grade and it went about as well as Paula Abdul's reality show at about the same time SO idk if stringed things are my...................shit.

31. How easy is it for you to be honest?

It's really weird because in some ways, it's really easy and I'm very transparent and open about most things, butttttttt when it comes to traumatic experiences or anything that could remotely attract sympathy, I really hate it. It took us dating for over a year for me and E to have a long in depth conversation about my past experiences recently and I felt really vulnerable and gross. Even writing the breakup answer isn't easy because I hate!!!! Ugh I hate feeling victimized again by the situation and being honest about it can bring that back for me. At the same time, it's been years and I've changed SO much since that time, so it's easier to look back at it objectively and see it for what it was.

THANKS DUDE

[tsyyya]

[Day 18 of writing challenge]

“Post 30 facts about yourself.“

Okay, let’s do this, I’m into flattering myself right now!

from my point of view, i excel on learning foreign languages even i don’t study those routinely anymore. 

then, i’m pretty good at operating adobe illustrator and wondershare filmora.

i’m not creative enough but i’m good at finding ideas and tips from google and pinterest, etc.

i love cooking and baking regardless my major is nutrition

mostly i have read fictions and novels beside the non-fiction because i dozed off often.

sleeping and lying down are my things!

blue, the most favorite color. but i love all the color though. the harmony and vibes will fix this.

i’m the oldest trio.

literally i’m the tall girl: 175cm while the average man-women in this country is 160cm-ish.

slouching type but since long time ago and currently i’m still working to fix this. i will always stand upright!

i’m 21, student in the term 6 of undergraduate nutrition.

INFP-T.

wishy washy? paradox? that’s me.

but above it all, i’m an idealist. hahaha, that’s the paradox!

timid but you need to interact with me more. after all i’m the one who do and say things crazily...

having anxiety almost everyday. not the disease one, but the symptoms...

i drove the car by myself just for 3 weeks, before the pandemic :(

the languages that i think i’m capable at: indonesian, english, javanese, arabic, korean, a lil bit japanese and spanish.

learning music since 4th grade (piano and keyboard), know how to play guitar, violin, drum, flute, marimba, gamelan. but after in high school, i’ve never played those.

i’ve performed band with friends at junior high school’s festival twice.

and i’ve sung and accompanied by my junior with her keyboard in the mall, when i was a 8th grade student. haha, that was hilarious.

procrastinating :D

trying to be more productive but never done things-mindset.

i’ve written a book, but it’s an anthology nutrition-themed book.

i’m happy with those who i love and they love me.

overthinking at its finest, the most of time.

fried rice is one of food to-go when you don’t know what to eat.

multistan: iu, svt, bts, phum, honne, dean, dindin, yoonhan, epik high, imagine dragon, crush, zico, etc. i’m not joining the fandom, just admiring the kpop idols and actors/actresses

wanting to have the elegant, classy, and bookworm vibe ahahah!

in a state of finding the partner in crime :]

WKWKWKWK bye oll

25.03.2021

[imz1-z1]

MADMEN

First group under MM Entertainment

They are reason MM entertainment changed to music label from the dance studio

Debuted in 2017 with song called Bir Qadam, debut MV was for Beri Jaqynda

Their fandom name is MADwave 

Besides their group activities all members do other jobs such as being dance teachers, because they pay for their MV’s themselves!

Watch their documentary with English subs here

Aron

Roman Park  Born in 16.09.1997, Almaty Half Korean Family: mother, sister (his sister have twins)

He is Mad Men’s leader, rapper and dancer. He makes some of their choreos too

Aron is a huge Blackpink fan and his bias is Jennie. He also like BTS, Bigbang

Have 12 tattoos, some of them are same with Khvan Ruslan

Aron said he won’t take anymore tattoos

Eclipse tattoo on his clavicle is unfinished one

His first tattoo was “Be yourself” which he got when he was 17 and it’s most meaningful to him

His favorite tattoo is girl in the arm

Aron had piercing on his lips

Can play piano and dombra, went to dombra classes because of girl

Have trypophobia and claustrophobia

Aron have a cat which name is Ikki and dogs (Richard and Hika)

He wants to have two kids

Likes manga

Aron is interested anything that develops you spiritually and physically

Likes sleeping, sleeping and sleeping

People call him sleepyhead

Loves pizza

Coffee lover

“For eating there is a separate place in my heart.”

Ideal girl (2017): No one knows what kind of person we’re going to love, maybe they're gonna be the complete opposite of the ideal. That’s why I don’t have an ideal type. But there are qualities that I like. Those who have excellent taste in clothes, can cook well, with restraint and kindness.

In 2018 answered to same question again saying: I look at the soul not the looks

Joined to Madmen because of Tim

His closest friends are Tim, Khay and Khvan Ruslan

Aron’s favorite color was long time purple but then he changed it because too many liked that color

“I’m not an expert at love, so I’ll say one thing, happiness is worth fighting for.”

Aron never have regretted anything in his past because for him it makes him the one who he is today and that’s why he doesn’t even want to fix anything from this past

“You shouldn’t regret something that has happened.”

Have said that what inspires him is past, this moment and future

“I want to stay true to myself, stay the way I was born, the way my mother raised me.”

He likes that things are in order

People think Aron is very responsible leader and he takes care of people really well

Bad habit: licks his lips too often

He isn’t punctual

If he would have superpower he would like to heal people

For him ideal day would be spend whole 24 hour in one day with his mom (2019)

He doesn’t really watch movies, but during quarantine he did watch some

After graduating from school he didn’t continue to uni

Secret talent: he learns choreos very easily

He did describe himself in three words: stubborn, not punctual and hot-tempered (2019)

Aron doesn’t like people who smiles at you but talks bad behind your back

When he was 16 he did run away from police (NTK interview 2020)

Have drank so much that he couldn’t remember a thing in next day (NTK interview 2020)

Never kissed a girl in first date (NTK interview 2020)

“I always think of my loved ones.”

“I want to tell you so that you always remain the same regarding the circumstances. Never listen people who surround you and go to your goal. Do what you like. Wear the clothes you like. Just stay independent.

Khay

Tin Khai Lun aka Khay Born in 11.08.1999, Almaty Korean

His position in group is lead vocalist and lead dancer

Scared easily

Khay had opportunity to live in South Korea but decided to debut with Madmen

His fave food is Tteokbokki and lagman

Loves spicy food

Studied in School of Fine Arts: art and technical design

Speaks Russian, English, some Kazakh

Started dancing in 2010

In 2012 started to listen Kpop because went to Korean Festival

His favorite singer is GD

Hobbies: drawing, playing basketball, dancing

Can play guitar and piano

Ideal girl (2017): Cheerful and well mannered. With smiling eyes. Girl should have a good appetite and a great sense of humor. Understanding and sharing my interests. I like the looks of the singers: IU and Jisoo.

Khay has been wearing glasses since 1st grade

He likes to solve Rubik’s cubes, his record is 49 seconds

People say it’s easy to get along with him

Mark

Alikhan Asen aka Mark Born 24.07.1999, Shymkent Kazakh

Group’s vocalist

Before Madmen he was in Sevenlight, after Sevenlight disbanded he did solo stuff

He is still close with some 7light members (Sai, Kael)

Have said that Kael is his best friend

Is closest one with Aron in Madmen

When he was in 7light he did cook for the members

Likes to play guitar, but can play dombra as well

Religious person

"Being good human as much as I can, don’t jump in front of anyone, not thinking misdeed about human beings, not making bad things."

Qualities which he likes in people: I like those who don’t be stilted and be real, honest, positive. People who are LOYAL to their own work, to the ones they walk with.

Qualities which he doesn't like in people: Telling many lies, being stilted, thinking of only themselves getting something illegally, jealousy, vaunt

He is scared of snakes and spiders

Ideal type (2021): I’m thinking, there are characters as many as the amount of people living. Every person is not the same, so I cannot say “yeah that’s my type”. I think the person you really love becomes the ideal for you even though they have minuses. There is no standard “ideal”, every person changes it according to their choices. Am I right?

Mark prefers to write Kazakh in Latin alphabets

Said that his bad habit is that he is so sensitive

Since 4th grade he have been doing music

Did learn to play guitar by himself because his mother wanted him to play dombra

Mark moved to Almaty to study

Moora

Alimurad Ibraimov  Born in 06.12.2000, Tashkent, Uzbekistan Kazakh Family: mother, three older sisters (Kamila, Akzhanat)

In Madmen his position is vocalist

He can play piano

Haven’t dated yet anyone

Moora’s first book which he did read was “The Little Prince”

He have played basketball 

Loves anime especially Naruto

Moora got his first tattoo in 2020

Shy but when he is comfortable with people he is loud

His favorite cartoon is Lion King

People say he is smart

Said that his bad habit is laziness

Perfect day: To be home with his relatives

Likes to play video games for example Tekken and Mortal Kombat

Before joining to Madmen he was in dance group called LevelUp

Have said that his closest friends are Aron and Rem, he even got necklace from them which he cherish a lot

Prefers black when wearing clothes

"This is my life, this is my world." - about his family

His favorite food if meat but he likes everything which have tomatoes in it

When he was asked to describe himself in 3 words he said: Lazy, gets angry easily but calm fast as well

"My mood gets up every time because of my mom"

Speaks Kazakh, Russian and English, prefers using Russian

Aron was Moora's first choreographer in MM

M

Born in 8.12.1999, Kyzylorda, Qarmaqshy region Real name: Ahmetqali Madiyar Mazityli Height: 178 cm

People call him Madi, he didn't want to have this as his stage name so people wouldn't confuse him to Madi Rymbaev

He likes to listen Bruno Mars, Maroon 5

Before he became MM trainee he was in Qpop group called RedBlaidd, they did one song and disbanded due different views

Madi’s cousins are Ace from Ninety One and Ash from NKI

He is choreographer under MM entertainment

Speaks Russian and Kazakh

In group he is vocalist

His favorite food is burgers

Likes to eat a lot

Before he joined to Madmen he was in Madness

One of his closest friend is Madness's Sula

He is extrovert

Likes watching anime, especially Naruto

FORMER MEMBERS

REM

Masakbay Rakhat aka Rem Born in 30.03.2000, Almaty Height: 173 cm Kazakh Junior Clan, Älimuly, Jolshara Family: Mother, father, brother (Nurken) and little sister (Dilnaz)

Studies at Almaty’s college named after Tchaikovsky (choir conductor)

He is Mad Men’s vocalist and makes music for their songs

Rem’s favorite color is black

His fave movies are Slipt and Shutter Island

Rem made his first money as singing in Tois

Watches anime and his favorite is Naruto

Rem have dated 8 girl’s

Talks most from Madmen

Loves meat dishes

Have cat named Umi

Did leave from Madmen in March 2021, is now at TikTok House Bip House

Ideal girl (2017): A girl with whom it’s convenient at any circumstances

Bad habit: he can sometimes just lives inside his head

Rem collects action figures

Have run away from police (NTK interview 2020)

Dated two girls at same time (NTK interview 2020)

Rem have kissed a girl on first date (NTK interview 2020)

Came to MM when he was 14

Young

Erasyl Abdraliev aka Young Born in 01.08.2002, Almaty Family: mother

Is Mad Men’s youngest member

Erasyl was part of Madness (is still close with them!!)

Likes K-Pop, manga and anime

Young can speak Kazakh, Russian and English

He likes to watch videos of space and stars

Is afraid of heights

Likes to stare stars

His closest friends are Sula, Renat and Aldiyar

Did leave from Madmen in March 2021, nowadays is dance teacher in LY entertainment

Young can play dombra

He loves to play video games

When he joined to Madmen he worked really hard for becoming better at dancing

Tim

Timur Kurmangaliev Born in 20.06.1997, Almaty Tatar-Russian Family: mother, father and sister

His favorite good is pilaf

He was Mad Men’s visual and vocalist

Scared easily

Tim can play guitar

He is Mad Men’s shortest member

Lived in Moscow for a while in 2019 is now back to Almaty

He left from Mad Men in 8th November 2018

After he left from Madmen he worked for a while in MM

Ideal girl (2017): Charismatic, economic, well mannered, kind and responsive

[subarashiet]

lifes been weird and sad , got so much stuff i wanna say dont even know if thats the right subred to but here goes.i m 18 , from Greece , first year in Uni and life is not the way i want it to bei live on my own , rent is being paid by mom and her husband , month pocket money given by dad and by my part time jobat some point in high school i understood that our school years were our most carefree years , tho only now do i really understand itman this post is gonna cramp my fingers shouldve used the pcused to hang out a lot till 2nd year of high school then in 3rd year cause of me studying more i was hanging out less , used to have around 4groups of ppl to hang around then only one , cliche but i wasnt anyone special in school , gotta mention i went to a music middle-high school , only highlights i remember are in 2th-3rd grade trading blows with a girl (think she was 5th grade) ,3rd grade kissing a girl in her cheek then running away from the boy-horde coming after me , 4th grade trading blows with a 6th grader ,6th grade punching a guy for calling names my little sis (we good now see him out we talk he a nice dud) , 9th grade a girl i had a chance with but fucked it up big time , 9th grade breaking a cello almost getting expelled ,12th grade playing bass at a concert in Thessaloniki with a music group of my schooldidnt really have many close friends but there were some from school and other places you can call closer friends , but now even with them i ve started to fade away which i cannot bear but i m the type of giving up and not trying until i m lategot laboratory this morning and this is gonna take a while hope i can get some sleepfeels weird using reddit to express my thoughts i even find it a bit cringy talking to myself but oh welli wanted to visit a physiatrist because i ve been so mentally tired that i think i might have crippling sadness xD but i tried to arrange that back in July-August pre my 18th bday so she said a parent was required to be present so i just kept all the stuff to myselfi was learning classic guitar from 1st grade to 8th still play to this day , in music school i kinda learned h2p electric but didnt practice enough to be able to play good , also know some pianobeen listening to post rock and mostly fate music these past 10 monthssucker for good anime tho i ve been out of it lately havent even finished my summer ones , oregairu has a nice ending from what i got spoiled fromanyway thing is i am sad most of the time , i try not to show it cause i like the stereotype of being the strong guy that everyone can depend on and almost never see being emotional and also like the cool tempered guy type , tho lately i ve been craving a lot of attention that i drop the act of the calm n cool sometimesthings with my parents didnt go to well these past years , only now i can say that we ve finally kinda calmed down , mom and dad started falling out of it around 8th grade cause lots of fighting , big sis kindof took the role of mother while on her teen years , feels like she had it much worse than me10th grade sis leaves home to go elsewhere to start studies for uni , i m left with ma and lil sis back homethen i understand that i have to be there for my little sis which also got in my school that year (3kids-3years difference each) so i tried to assume the role of the big brother but she was closer to her older sister than me , i was closer to my older sister as well , feels like i was doing my lil sis wrong but i cpould relate more to big sis and could chat with her more about stufflil sis didnt open up to me a lot even to this day , she has been a lot more comfortable with me through the years i think cause she told me something important recently , kinda feelsbadman tho cause i wanted to be closer to her and i kinda tried but i think not hard enough cause she didnt seem to get any closer , cried once about it in front of my mother which was the absoluteliest worst cause i didnt want her to see me being fragile jesustho even now that i m not home i talk to her play some among us tried making her start xenoverse 2 that didnt go farhave some friends from school , we would only go all together at internet cafes , but mostly 4 of em would go out togetherin my school i had some friends from scouts tooi have an insta , used to post "cool" pics kinda stopped cause i like looking cool in front of others but i havent been in the mood to try in around a year nowused to be in some conservatory guitar groups with some other kids there , with one girl from there i used to be quite in touch until recently that i stopped seeing her for some reasons maybe i ll explain l8rwe had fun and i really mean it , we used to go on trips to play songs on different cities and stages , our group became kinda known the 2-3 good active years we were active , it still is but these years were the originals , now there are other peoplefucking christ its 2:27started playing in that group with the originals in 2017 till 2019 , we were kids from different ages going from 6th to 10th graders but i didnt understand the different in our ages until recently that i found one of the guys from the group in my cityanother closer friend is a guy from my school , met him in grade 7 still talk to him , used to sit together most of the years pretty neat guy , peculiar character but really interesting kind smart and hard workingman why couldnt my teen years be like shirou from fsn that would be awesomehad entrance exams 4-5 months ago , didnt really go as planned , shooted for Corfu didnt get in cause rather than 15 i got 10 in my last exam so i m still in my city , tho i live alone and go to my local uni insteadJuly 2019 i moved out of my old house moved in with ma and her husband with my sis , stayed there till september then till june-july 2020 i was living with my fathertbh i decided to write this post after watching a vid of Korone talking about Okayu thinking that i ve never been in an actual relationship and that i eould want to experience that but dont know where to start from , losing weight ? becoming outgoing again ? learn how to talk to girls ?i started watching anime back in 2015 on my 3ds i remember watching dubbed Inazuma Elevensince like 2 weeks ago i reached 201 anime completedok i ll stop here for tonight cause i got online uni classes tmrw i keep stimestamps for whenever i finally post this -Tuesday 3/11/2020 02:41used to be around 85-90kg in 12th grade , put on around 20-28 kilos since March 2020 , managed to lose 8-10 kilos in the summer but i m still around 30kilos up from the normal amount based on my height , got a subscription to a gym jan2019 but only managed to get into it for a short period on spring 2019 then autumn 2019 then lost motivation and let go , since March2020 i ve been doing some weights at home , tho when i look at myself in the mirror it doesnt really change how bad i feel about my body , i think my old motivation used to be a girl i used to have a crush on but not surethings with my parents werent all that great and i was mentally better when i would talk with them , they are openminded af and supportive too but puberty makes you see stuff differently like everyone is against you like the world is against you (last one might be true dunno yet) , living on my own now seems to be a bit better but as our Greek ancestors used to say theres no good without bad and the bad in this scenario is that its lonely as fuck , having lived for 18 years with my family it really hits a weird spot , everything feels lonelier now with the virus spreading around not being able to see others as much as we used to , uni doesnt feel nice , many people dont pay attention and its like the second half of 12th grade all over againgot my monthly money 4days ago , went from 200 to 9.28 quickly , when i have money i spend when i dont i m stingy , mostly like to build computers , watch lots of Linus , Paul , Kyle , Jay etc. most of my money goes to buying stuff about computers food , used to give lots of money to internet cafes when i used to hang out with the guys from school , not anymorewith the start of uni we all met new friends even i but i still feel like i am drifting apart day by day , stopped talking to my old girl friend cause i was kinda done with her attitude , called me some names i didnt appreciate because i put up with her attitude , most of the time in her own world , only would really pay attention and try to change herself when it was something she cared about , one of them wasnt her character , but to give the goods of her she was a good friend dont know if i can say she still is a friend or just someone i know , she helped me even with the girl i had a crush on , was really fun on trips with the guitar group , all in all a fun person , thing is i stopped texting her and telling her to go out cause it was 80% me trying and the other 20% her and i think that proved right when i stopped talking to her cause i thought she will see that i m not talking to her she ll think somethings wrong she ll message me to go out and have fun , send me a happy bday message posted some pics of me , didnt send me anything else after , stopped talking to her around the start of October , if i hadnt asked her something about her uni and if it wasnt my bday i dont think we wouldve talked in all of october . last saturday i was working in the area she lives in my city decided to call her sometimes didnt answer tried to suprise her and see how she is by going to her house , noone answered maybe they were on a trip idk , but it feels weird man , in the first half of the year me and a common friend of her and me went out one night , ended up being the bad guy to make her understand that she did something wrong that night , after she left i was left with our common friend talked about stuff and mostly her and i expressed myself , i knew that coming summer me and her would end up at different places so i wanted to tell her all the wrongs with her so that she could finally understand what i ve been putting up against and make her understand that she HAS to pay attention to people around her and that she will meet new people and that she ll have to be careful about her character , used to have a bit of crush on her back in 7th grade , can kinda understand why that went . On the other hand i didnt want to part ways with her with our last words being me ranting , one thing brought the other and she wont be going to her uni's city until early 2021 so i managed to go out with her some more in the summer and september . kinda feels bad to see that almost noone remembered my bday cause i remember in cram school when someone had their bday they would get a fucking cake , dont mistake me i got one , from my ma my two sisters and my moms husband , thing is i wanted to have something happen with friends , nothing happend , around 4 people remembered my bday and the others just send me some happy bday messages after seeing posts from the girl i m talking about .also heres a good song to listen to while reading stuff on reddit Sorrow from FSN by MN64 cant post links from what i understandgonna stop here for now might edit later -Tuesday 3/11/2020 15:15thing is reddit is not the right place to get help and i need a friend but it seems i cant get any from my friends , even my other friend the guy i used to sit with in all middle-high school he has drifted apart , talking more with other of his friends doing other stuff etc , that one time i needed to talk to him he said i ll call you in a while , waitied 1 and a half hour then asked him why he didnt call he said he forgot (i think) , feelsbadmananyway i dont think i m gonna keep editing this i ranted enough , gonna leave the post up for a day or so in case anyone wants to add anything then taking it down -Tuesday 3/11/2020 23:58

[blue-satellite-430]

Hey humans. Here's some basic background info on my main characters.

Due to the nature of my WIP, some of my main characters are absent from the current plot, and are introduced and explored using full scene flashbacks throughout the story. Jason dies in chapter 3, but his role in the story and the lives of the characters doesn't cease. And Amai goes into a several month long coma as a result of the shooting in chapter 3. The main friend group established before the start of the plot is apart for some time as they're going through shock as well as mourning. (Part of the plot is James trying to get everyone back together.)

James - The protagonist. He suffers from Bipolar 1 and PTSD which developed after he was first on the scene of his mother's suicide. He refuses to medicate or seek professional help for either. He now lives in an affluent neighborhood with his relatively wealthy adopted parents, who pay him a very high allowance he mostly doesn't use. He likes playing the keyboard, writing songs, martial arts, and anime. He speaks fluent English, American Sign Language, and Spanish and is learning Japanese. He can be violently protective of the people he loves.

Jason - James' late best friend and school shooter. He enjoyed watching movies and wanted to go to college for filmmaking. His family began shunning him after he announced he identified as an atheist. This led to a download spiral of depression and years of repressed anger which he kept hidden from his friends. His reasoning for committing his actions go unknown for most of the book.

Allisa - James' friend and love interest for much of the book. She lost her older brother to suicide when she was 12. She and James form a close bond out of this sad likeness they share. She's also fluent in English and Spanish. She loves painting, sketching, manga and anime.

Ariadne - Daughter of a Nigerian mother and Greek father, she grew up speaking Hausa, Greek, and English. She's an overachiever and a bit arrogant. She was selected by her highschool to sing the national anthem before games and pep rallies because of a frankly amazing singing voice. She's bisexual and does get around. (I know promiscuity is a stereotype for bisexual people, but I won't portray it in a negative light. Besides, stereotypes exist for a reason, and I promise it won't be the only representation bisexual people get in the story. I'll do my best to make sure Ariadne's gonna be a really compelling character in her own right.) She loves singing, cheerleading, and people watching.

Amai - She moved from Japan with her family when her father was offered a position teaching botany at the Everglades University. By which point she started going through culture shock and depression after leaving all her friends. She's quiet and reserved most of the time, but acts really silly around her friends. She plans on studying astrophysics in college. She likes nature documentaries, karaoke, and math.

Toby - Toby's an 8th grader in the middle school division of James' school. James recruited him to help record music after he saw him playing violin on the street for money. They became friends over time, and James sees a lot of himself in Toby. Toby lives with his mom in the ghetto, and he's trying to get into a school of the arts before 9th grade. He likes playing the violin and guitar and one day wants to play in a band or orchestra.

Sasha - Sasha's openly trans at school and at home. He's comically short and pale. His family came to the U.S. from Russia before he was born, but since he's always around them, he speaks with an accent. Sasha's very silly and bubbly like a cartoon character. He's the life of the party when he's with people, but he does exhibit symptoms of an undiagnosed mental illness such as self-harm and periods of self-isolation. He frequently switches hobbies, but consistently loves binging TV shows.

Xavier - James met Xavier at his kickboxing gym. He's basically the only one in James' group without mental problems or issues at home. (He's my token sane character.) He's openly bisexual, but closeted pansexual (if that makes sense), and likes play-fighting with James, even though it quickly devolves into James doing that scary laugh he does and getting a bit wild. Xavier's on the football team at James' school and dabbles in mechanical engineering.

Aiyden - James' adopted baby brother. James' adopted parents got Aiyden when he was 4, much to the dismay of our edgy protagonist. He didn't want to expose someone so innocent to how screwed up he was, and that manifested as hostility in the beginning. But over time, James grew to love him and became fiercely protective of him. When Aiyden was 8, he confided in James about realizing he was gay, and being bullied at school for it. He's 8, so I don't wanna make him seem to cerebral, but I was 8 once, and I waa a fucking nerd so fuck it. Aiyden likes mythology and documentaries.

Martha - James' adopted mother. She's a sweet person who comes from a very conservative Christian home and currently works in a real estate firm making mucho dinero. She and James don't get along much at all for a few reasons. She has no respect for James being an atheist (oh btw, James was raised atheist before he was adopted) and is regularly insensitive about his emotional state. James doesn't exactly appreciate her blatant homophobia either.

Tyler - James' adopted father. Tyler is a chef who owns a restaurant in Miami. He teaches James to cook and generally leaves him to his own devices. He had a suffocating childhood, and his approach to parenting is to let the child come to you. It's your job to let them know you're available to talk to, but other than that, leave them be. James would accept the offer, were it not for the fact Tyler can't keep any secrets from his wife to save a life.

And these are my main characters. I'm really enjoying writing the complexities of how they all interact. I've been reading on what having friends is like to better capture the feeling. 😂

[adamarks]

17 questions

rules: answer 17 questions and tag 17 people you want to get to know better

thank you @theflyingpeach @krisrix @caitybuglove23 @anawkwardbibliophile and @sharkmartini for tagging me :)

nickname: it’s just Jay but i have an ungodly amount of nicknames for my deadname (all still in use as i’m not out irl but yknow)

zodiac sign: leo sun sag moon virgo rising

height: 5′4

hogwarts house: hufflepuff babeyyy. pukwudgie for the american school. also my patronus is an english mastiff. yes i have all this memorized despite never reading a single sentence of a harry potter book.

last thing you googled: dutch apple bread recipe. it’s currently in the oven hope it turns out.

song stuck in your head: TOSS A COOIN TO YOUR WITCHER OH VALLEY OF PLENNTY OH VALLEY OF PLEEEENTY OOOOHH-

following and followers: 749 following (most of these are blogs from dead fandoms.) 689 followers (what are you all doing here? i wonder this every day.)

amount of sleep: i need my goddamn 8 hours

lucky number: 7 and 11. i do not give two shits about 7/11

dream job: i love being a massage therapist! i’m a fucking broken record about it! but also I’d love to become a chiropractor one day. I’d also love to publish a book someday. I’ve wanted to be an author since middle school.

wearing: do-rag, jeans, green shirt that i painted.

favourite song: i............ i think it might be Tonight She Comes by the Cars....... i listen to it so fucking much. but god what a horrible choice. tomorrow, good guys, lollipop, dear jealousy, and we are golden by mika all make me lose my goddamn mind.......................... oh my god how could you make me choose i’m just mentally naming every song i’ve ever liked rn.

favorite instrument: violin. i can kinda play piano and i learned guitar a long while back, but i really would love to learn bass guitar.

random fact: i figured out i was gay in 8th grade at my catholic confirmation (yes i was raised catholic. explains everything and nothing, doesn’t it?) my mom’s bff gave me a hug and i got a face full of boob and i went Oh Fuck and spent the next 3 years convincing myself i was straight as a board.

favourite authors: i can’t say i honestly read by author, but! i liked stacey jay’s stuff and tamora pierce when i was younger. weirdly enough i’m really into edgar allan poe? also cressida cowell did an amazing job with httyd, in my opinion. and then there’s of course Dianna Wynne Jones. I haven’t read anything else by him, but William Goldman’s Princess Bride is my all time favourite book so like. Really i just try to pick up books written by women and queer authors. I tend to like them more?

favorite animal noise: horny elk noise. it’s a very comforting sound for me. it reminds me of an elk farm in the woods my parents used to take me to occasionally when i was little

aesthetic: uhhhhhh. idk. i put on things that make me happy. there’s no rhyme or reason to it i don’t think. maybe some hellish combo of grandma in her mumu, grandpa on vacation, dad at the barbeque, and the weird yoga teacher that keeps talking about chi you’re getting in the ball park.

i’m not tagging 17 people agh. @ueberdemnebelmeer @olliedollie1204 @the-pandora-jar @pastel-pink-death