#I WAS DEBATING SINCE 2020

[arielluva]

idk if i’ll post this or not but if ur seeing this, then,,, hi!

i am undergoing multiple brainrots at once and so the jjba rot is fading a little bit,, like im sure it’ll be back soon enough but idk if i can restrain myself from posting hxh and vocaloid stuff,,,, prepare yourself ig!!!

anyways i tried out a new painting style and i kinda like it? its pretty fun so yeah

[marvelsmostwanted]

Debate notes from watching just the first 8 minutes:

- Joe Biden really told Donald Trump to shut up on live national television! I didn’t even have that on my debate Bingo card. Go Joe!

- Poor Chris Wallace

- Donald Trump is coherent when he wants to be and a lot of his incoherence is intentional. I mean, he’s definitely a narcissist slowly losing his mind, but also, he was coherent in the interview with Bob Woodward in February when he clearly explained how the coronavirus was airborne and he was coherent at the start of this debate right up until he started saying “you’re doing socialism” and arguing with the moderator. The point being, Trump wants attention and will do anything to get it, and we are in a constant endless cycle of giving it to him. I don’t know what to do with this information either.

- Just as it was offensive that Hillary, the most successful woman ever in American politics, had to endure the indignity of debating Donald Trump, a racist loser from reality TV, it is also an indignity that Joe Biden, the two-term Vice President and 18th-longest-serving Senator in U.S. history, has to debate this lying, racist con man who has tarnished the office of the president with his blatant corruption and greed. And yet, I guarantee there will be some in the media who will still give Trump credit just for showing up and stringing a sentence together.

- Donald Trump does not have a healthcare plan and he does not have a plan to address the raging pandemic, but he is currently trying to repeal the Affordable Care Act, and that in itself should be disqualifying. Why would you vote to take away your own healthcare (or that of others) during a literal pandemic - or ever?

- Joe Biden saying “c’mon man” isn’t nearly a strong enough reaction to Donald Trump but it is simultaneously the only appropriate reaction to Donald Trump

- Three white men in their 70s running one of the most important debates in modern history on a Tuesday night in a silent room is a travesty on multiple levels but it’s the painful awkwardness for me

[houkagokappa]

Favourite anime of 2020

[cosmic-waltz]

i open my wallet and a bunch of pictures of archimedes fall out like a dad with the pictures of his kids. i love this funky man oh so much.

[manchestereyes]

dropped off my ballot today and feeling a LOT more relieved about life tbh 💙💙 happy vote early day!

[lnnovations]

an announcement from the great and powerful oz 

[rxng]

    “Mm... this massage reminds me. I do hope I return back to my time when I left. I have a session with a Councilmech tomorrow. This is our sixth session and I’m growing quite fond of him.”

     “He’s so sweet. He brings me little trinkets and treats from the City sometimes, in secret so Xaaron doesn’t know. I really do love working with him.”

     “Sometimes, he tells me that he’d love to bring me back to Iacon. Xaaron would never let him, I know, but... I’d love to do that. He lives in a big skyscraper, one that touches the sky. He told me he’d give me a room there with him, where I can watch the ships come and go as much as I please.”

      “Six-of-Twelve really is a wonderful mechanical.”

[teddiebearie]

the new episode is... interesting

[kindahoping4forever]

Dying that my entire dash is suddenly cover song crazy just because you randomly got thirsty for no roots in quarantine 😂😂😂

We all cope in different but similar ways apparently 😌

[louandhazaf]

+

[wild-untamed-heart]

Haru Haru's Vday 2020 gift delivery~

Hahi! Haru has seen you requested for a Vday gift! Haru has come to deliver! She hopes you enjoy it! Please do with this as you please, and may you consider taking us on again next year~

Haru opened the door enthusiastically, “Kajika-chan~ You’re here!” She stepped aside to let Kajika into her apartment. She’d asked Kajika to come over to hang out today. They were meeting up a bit before Valentine’s day, because it seemed that they both were going to be busy on that day, so they decided to meet up before the actual Holiday.

That worked out just fine for Haru, because she normally went around delivering gifts to all her friends on the day.  It turns into a day long endeavor sometimes, so it wasn’t a day she normally chose to hang out with friends (unless they were also delivering gifts to a multitude of people as well).

The gift that Haru had prepared for Kajika required some set up, and Haru couldn’t do that while on the go. “Come in and sit down. I’ll get things ready.” Haru ushered Kajika in, motioning to the couch in the living room. In front of the couch was a coffee table.

After ensuring that Kajika had sat down, Haru skipped her way to the kitchen, humming a happy tune as she did. It brought her immense joy to be around other people as she was a social butterfly. She could feel lonely rather easily, so she was happy to have someone over at her apartment. Hanging out with people lessened the loneliness she felt.

She really did miss her friends and family back at home, but that didn’t mean she treasured her friends here any less. Haru treasured each and every one of her friends, but she did worry a lot about her friends back at home—for reasons. Mafia related reasons.

Soon, she came back with a tray. She poured Kajika a cup of coffee and motioned to the cream and sugar that she had set aside on the tray. The sugar and cream were housed in cute hedgehog ceramic containers. She saw them while shopping one day, and she couldn’t resist bringing them home with her. “Haru is also done, so wait a bit longer, please. It’s almost time for the surprise! How exciting-desu~” She chimed happily.

A smell of chocolate wafted through the air, but that was to be expected because Haru said that she wanted to gift Kajika her Valentine’s day gift early. As per the Holiday, the gift had to be some kind of chocolate. There was no other way that Haru would have it.

Sure, there were people who settled for dolls and flowers… and those were nice and all… but her sweet tooth could not be underestimated! Valentine’s day was that day where the chocolate manufacturers had a massive uprising in sales! The day afterwards is when the stores have a sale on all the chocolates that didn’t sell. For a person with a massive sweet tooth like Haru, this time of the year was very important.

“It’s done~”

With two plates in either hand, Haru set them down on the coffee table before she retreated back into the kitchen with a ceramic pitcher in hand. In front of Kajika were two plates with a large chocolate sphere sitting perfectly steady on the plate. Next to the spheres were two spoons.

It would seem that the very bottom of the sphere was flattened out, otherwise the sphere would have rolled around while Haru was walking the chocolate treats to the table.

“Haru found this online. They called it a ‘magic chocolate ball.’ It’s magical because when you pour the hot fudge over the chocolate ball…” She tipped the pitcher in her hand and poured hot fudge over the chocolate sphere.

In mere moments, the chocolate sphere started to melt from the top, all the way to the bottom, thus revealing what was hidden underneath the chocolate sphere. There was a scoop of vanilla ice cream sitting atop a piece of chocolate cake! There were fruits like raspberries and strawberries surrounding the cake.

The chocolate fudge melted the chocolate sphere, causing the chocolate to coat the fruits surrounding the cake. The chocolate fudge dripped onto the ice cream and the cake itself. “Waahh~ Isn’t that fascinating? Haru thinks it’s so fun to watch it melt!”

Admittedly, she had to get some practice making the chocolate spheres. It wasn’t as easy as one would think. If she made the coating too thick, it wouldn’t melt quite as nicely, but if she made it too thin, it would be too brittle to handle, and it may collapse onto itself.

She had a lot of failures, where she didn’t melt enough chocolate, so she had incomplete spheres, or the layers were too thin, so it collapsed onto itself the moment she removed the sphere from its mold. “The coffee should taste good with the cake itself. The bitter and the sweet combination is something that Haru was mindful of.”

A lot of trial cakes were baked to ensure that the sweetness of the cake could balance out with the bitter nodes of the coffee. Haru settled herself on the couch right next to Kajika, picking up her plate to take a spoonful of the cake and ice cream. “Mm~ It’s delicious! What do you think, Kajika-chan? Did you like the trick?” Haru’s eyes were shinning, waiting for some kind of feedback from her friend.

Nothing was more satisfying that people enjoying something you made for them. She could certainly understand why it was that mothers loved to watch their children eat. When the people you love are happy with something you made… it warms your heart. “Ah- now that Haru thinks about it… you’ll need a fork as well. Hold on a moment, Haru will get forks.” She originally brought out spoons because she thought that you could simply dig into the cake with a spoon just fine and enjoy it along with the ice cream.

But, she had just realized that the pieces of fruit would be harder to pick up with a spoon. She quickly dashed into the kitchen and retrieved two forks, one for Kajika, and one for herself. She pierced a strawberry with her fork, “Cheers~ Here’s to another year of friendship between us!” She giggled, suggesting they ‘cheers’ with a chocolate covered strawberry.

______________________________________________________________

Kajika had been curious about what Haru had been planning ever since she received the invite to her house a couple of day’s before Valentine’s Day but no amount of prying or cajoling yielded the slightest clue. Since it was Haru, and knowing her penchant for sweet treats, not to mention the occasion... well, she figured it would be sweet food of some kind but still... that wasn’t much to go on.

It was only natural that on the day in question, Kajika was brimming with excited and arrived on her friend’s doorstep bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. At Haru’s bidding, she followed her friend inside and took up a position on the couch while she waited for her surprise to be brought from the kitchen. She tried really hard not to fidget impatiently although the temptation to do so was great.

The coffee came first and the young heiress took a moment to fawn over the adorable hedgehog ceramic containers. Hearing that she wouldn’t have to wait for much longer, she offered her companion a bright smile and her sparkling silver eyes eagerly tracked Haru’s trip back to the kitchen in anticipation.

Oh my...

Kajika eyed the mysterious looking chocolate ball with awe, both the sight and smell making her mouth water. It certainly looked good and she was sure it would taste good too. It seemed she couldn’t bite into it just yet as Haru had gone to fetch a pitcher from the kitchen.

Now she was really intrigued.

With the utmost fascination, she listened as her friend explained the ‘magic’ behind the  ‘magic chocolate ball’ and watched with excitement as the hot fudge worked it’s magic. Only once the ‘show’ had ended did Kajika give an enthusiastic applause to show her appreciation for she was sure a lot of effort had gone into preparing it.

“That was absolutely amazing and really fun to watch!”

She too picked up her own plate and dug into the cake and ice-cream, ensuring to include a strawberry before inserting the spoonful into her mouth. The burst of flavours was a real delight and Kajika hummed in pleasure.

Momentarily setting down her spoon, she presented Haru with a thumbs-up while she finished swallowing her mouthful before she followed it up with a verbal comment.

“This was the best surprise ever!! You really outdid yourself and I’m really going to have to think of something good to match for White Day~”

She supposed a fork would make eating some parts of the treat easier but that didn’t stop her from munching on the ice-cream and cake while waiting for Haru to fetch the said utensils from the kitchen. Upon her friend’s return, she quickly followed her lead and speared a strawberry before reaching over to tap it playfully against Haru’s with a laugh.

“To another year of awesome friendship~”

[freelyhauntedduck]

That was fast... 

Should I hope for him taking it even the slightest bit more seriously when he recovers?

[princessprettyprivilege]

Being Feminine in A Masculine Household

This is the topic I wanted to touch on before because I know it applies to most of us. I’m not calling anyone’s families & mothers masculine or their father’s feminine. It is so unfair to call a woman like your mother masculine when they had no choice to but to become that to raise their family.

When I was unaware of femininity, my mood and blood pressure level were at an all time high. I’m not a hotheaded person, but I’d blow my lid when someone didn’t see something the way I did. I wore lots of dresses, was quiet and soft spoken, yet I still felt like the masculine one in a group of girls, AND I DID NOT KNOW WHY!!! I know most of us felt that way growing up!!!

When you’re ready to become feminine in a masculine household, hold your tongue before you get into an argument!! I know most of my conversations were spent on debates, confrontations and arguments, even though I wasn’t in an emotionally heavy or angry household.

I also used to chase guys I was interested in and they really enjoyed being pursued! If you’ve seen or saw a glimpse of The Bachelor/ette, you know about the participants offering a rose to the ones they were interested in. I was the one offering roses to whatever guy would take it. Throw that rose to the side, stomp on it and burn it!!

Delete your news app. This is the #1 source that’ll make you emotionally charged. I deleted mine in 2020 and haven’t downloaded it back.

Be very picky and entitled with advice you take from your “masculine/feminine” counterparts. If your father tells you you should date a man like him and he’s a diva, he’s not who I’d consult for advice.

Focus on filling your own cup. You’re most likely not making a life or death decision to focus on yourself.

Lay your own path. Sometimes you don’t have a person in your family that can walk you through your feminine journey. It’s ok. Don’t worry about whether you’re doing something wrong or right. When I laid my pathway, I decided to practice homemaking since I knew it was a part of femininity. I made quiche in cupcake tins, did laundry, ran errands and checked up on my family members throughout the day.

Be Luxury, Live Luxury.

[pinkydude]

💙💜🤍 Happy trans day of visibility! 🤍💜💙

As a trans man myself, I wanted to talk about my experience in this fandom. 😌

I’ve always been openly trans, since the start in december 2020!  My V, Valentin, is a self insert, and I made him trans too. He actually helped me a lot with my self image and confidence, I’ll forever be grateful to have the option to be trans in this game, even if it’s not perfect! 

People sent me a lot of heart warming messages through the year, thanking me for my inclusive mods, as well as just for being myself openly and creating trans content without fear. This is something I only recently fully embraced; being myself openly, on the internet and in real life too.

The Cyberpunk 2077 community has a lot of LGBTQ+ members, including a lot of trans folks! Brothers, Sisters and Cousins alike 🤍 

There was a lot of good this past year. 

A lot of good, but also a lot of bad, that I want to talk about too. 

Do not be afraid to seek information on something you don’t know about or aren’t sure on how to approach. Transgenderness and Nonbinarism shouldn’t be taboo to talk about.

If you’re planning on creating a trans (including non-binary) OC, please do it with respect 🤲 Look up pronouns, the harm of dead naming, what it means to be non-binary, etc etc. Ask people in the community! I am more than happy to help or talk with people who have questions about being trans and I know a lot of fellow trans and non binary peeps that would also be glad to help. 

No matter who you are, cis/trans/nb, it's possible there are places where you might misstep with trans and/or nb OCs or headcanons. Someone correcting you and sharing that something was incorrect or hurtful isn't an attack! It doesn’t make you a bad person either. However, trans identities are NOT a subject up to debate, or something to debate about. If your words or portrayal of your trans/nb character hurts actual trans and nb persons in the community, please, listen to them. 

We encourage everyone to explore sexualities and genders, especially in fiction! But we’re also real people behind our monitors, how you react and what you write can be really hurtful.

I also wanted to touch another subject that happened earlier this year. 

I want to remind everyone that “pussy eating” is not a F/M exclusive sexual activity. Neither is vaginal sex. Wanting to use vagina-related activities as a “proof” that a character is into women pushes cisnormativity and is really, really harmful. 

Especially when that character as been confirmed MLM (not necessarily gay; MLM includes Bisexuality and Pansexuality too, among other things)  It just pushes the idea that gender and sexualities are tied to whatever genitals you have down here. And it’s not ok. It’s never ok. 

This is the first fandom experience for a lot of people, me included! We're all learning different stuff and that's amazing. 

We’re all bounded by our love for this game, lets keep this place safe for everyone, every sexualities and every genders. 🤲

[qqueenofhades]

Do you really hate this county? Or were you just ranting?

Sigh. I debated whether or not to answer this, since I usually keep the real-life/politics/depressing current events to a relative minimum on this blog, except when I really can't avoid ranting about it. But I have some things to get off my chest, it seems, and you did ask. So.

The thing is, any American with a single modicum of genuine historical consciousness knows that despite all the triumphalist mythology about Pulling Up By Our Bootstraps and the American Dream and etc, this country was founded and built on the massive and systematic exploitation and extermination of Black and Indigenous people. And now, when we are barely (400 years later!!!) getting to a point of acknowledging that in a widespread way, oh my god the screaming. I'm so sick of the American right wing I could spit for so many reasons, not least of which is the increasingly reductive and reactive attempts to put the genie back in the bottle and set up hysterical boogeymen about how Teaching Your Children Critical Race Theory is the end of all things. They have forfeited all pretense of being a real governing party; remember how their only platform at the 2020 RNC was "support whatever Trump says?" They have devolved to the point where the cruelty IS the point, to everyone who doesn't fit the nakedly white supremacist mold. They don't have anything to do aside from attempt to usher in actual, literal, dictionary-definition-of-fascism and sponsor armed revolts against the peaceful transfer of power.

That is fucking exhausting to be aware of all the time, especially with the knowledge that if we miss a single election cycle -- which is exceptionally easy to do with the way the Democratic electorate needs to be wooed and courted and herded like cats every single time, rather than just getting their asses to the polls and voting to keep Nazis out of office -- they will be right back in power again. If Manchin and Sinema don't get over their poseur pearl-clutching and either nuke the filibuster or carve out an exception for voting rights, the John Lewis Voting Rights Act is never going to get passed, no matter how many boilerplate appeals the Democratic leadership makes on Twitter. In which case, the 2022 midterms are going to give us Kevin McCarthy, Speaker of the House (I threw up in my mouth a little typing that) and right back to the Mitch McConnell Obstruction Power Hour in the Senate. The Online Left (TM) will then blame the Democrats for not doing more to stop them. These are, of course, the same people who refused to vote for Hillary Clinton out of precious moral purity reasons in 2016, handed the election to Trump, and now like to complain when the Trump-stacked Supreme Court reliably churns out terrible decisions. Gee, it's almost like elections have consequences!!

Aside from my exasperation with the death-cult right-wing fascists and the Online Left (TM), I am sick and tired of how forty years of "trickle-down" Reaganomics has created a world where billionaires can just fly to space for the fun of it, while the rest of America (and the world) is even more sick, poor, overheated, economically deprived, and unable to survive the biggest public health crisis in a century, even if half the elected leadership wasn't actively trying to sabotage it. Did you know that half of American workers can't even afford a one-bedroom apartment? Plus the obvious scandal that is race relations, health care, paid leave, the education system (or lack thereof), etc etc. I'm so tired of this America Is The Greatest Country in the World mindless jingoistic catchphrasing. We are an empire in the late stages of collapse and it's not going to be pretty for anyone. We have been poisoned on sociopathic-libertarian-selfishness-disguised-as-Freedom ideology for so long that that's all there is left. We have become a country of idiots who believe everything their idiot friends post on social media, but in a very real sense, it's not directly those individuals' fault. How could they, when they have been very deliberately cultivated into that mindset and stripped of critical thinking skills, to serve a noxious combination of money, power, and ideology?

I am tired of the fact that I have become so drained of empathy that when I see news about more people who refused to get the vaccine predictably dying of COVID, my reaction is "eh, whatever, they kind of deserved it." I KNOW that is not a good mindset to have, and I am doing my best to maintain my personal attempts to be kind to those I meet and to do my small part to make the world better. I know these are human beings who believed what they were told by people that they (for whatever reason) thought knew better than them, and that they are part of someone's family, they had loved ones, etc. But I just can't summon up the will to give a single damn about them (I'm keeping a bingo card of right-wing anti-vax radio hosts who die of COVID and every time it's like, "Alexa, play Another One Bites The Dust.") The course that the pandemic took in 21st-century America was not preordained or inevitable. It was (and continues to be) drastically mismanaged for cynical political reasons, and the legacy of the Former Guy continues to poison any attempts to bring it under control or convince people to get a goddamn vaccine. We now have over 100,000 patients hospitalized with COVID across the country -- more than last summer, when the vaccines weren't available.

I have been open about my fury about the devaluation of the humanities and other critical thinking skills, about the fact that as an academic in this field, my chances of getting a full-time job for which I have trained extensively and acquired a specialist PhD are... very low. I am tired of the fact that Americans have been encouraged to believe whatever bullshit they fucking please, regardless of whether it is remotely true, and told that any attempt to correct them is "anti-freedom." I am tired of how little the education system functions in a useful way at all -- not necessarily due to the fault of teachers, who have to work with what they're given, and who are basically heroes struggling stubbornly along in a profession that actively hates them, but because of relentless under-funding, political interference, and furious attempts, as discussed above, to keep white America safely in the dark about its actual history. I am tired of the fact that grade school education basically relies on passing the right standardized tests, the end. I am tired of the implication that the truth is too scary or "un-American" to handle. I am tired. Tired.

I know as well that "America" is not synonymous in all cases with "capitalist imperialist white-supremacist corporate death cult." This is still the most diverse country in the world. "America" is not just rich white middle-aged Republicans. "America" involves a ton of people of color, women, LGBTQ people, Muslims, Jews, Christians of good will (I have a whole other rant on how American Christianity as a whole has yielded all pretense of being any sort of a principled moral opposition), white allies, etc etc. all trying to make a better world. The blue, highly vaccinated, Biden-winning states and counties are leading the economic recovery and enacting all kinds of progressive-wishlist dream policies. We DID get rid of the Orange One via the electoral process and avert fascism at the ballot box, which is almost unheard-of, historically speaking. But because, as also discussed above, certain elements of the Democratic electorate need to fall in love with a candidate every single time or threaten to withhold their vote to punish the rest of the country for not being Progressive Enough, these gains are constantly fragile and at risk of being undone in the next electoral cycle. Yes, the existing system is a crock of shit. But it's what we've got right now, and the other alternative is open fascism, which we all got a terrifying taste of over the last four years. I don't know about you, but I really don't want to go back.

So... I don't know. I don't know if that stacks up to hate. I do hate almost everything about what this country currently is, structurally speaking, but I recognize that is not identical with the many people who still live here and are trying to do their best, including my friends, family, and myself. I am exhausted by the fact that as an older millennial, I am expected to survive multiple cataclysmic economic crashes, a planet that is literally boiling alive, a barely functional political system run on black cash, lies, and xenophobia, a total lack of critical thinking skills, renewed assaults on women/queer people/POC/etc, and somehow feel like I'm confident or prepared for the future. Not all these problems are only America's fault alone. The West as a whole bears huge responsibility for the current clusterfuck that the world is in, for many reasons, and so do some non-Western countries. But there is no denying that many of these problems have ultimate American roots. See how the ongoing fad for right-wing authoritarian strongmen around the world has them modeling themselves openly on Trump (like Brazil's lunatic president, Jair Bolsonaro, who talks all the time about how Trump is his political role model). See what's going on in Afghanistan right now. Etc. etc.

Anyway. I am very, very tired. There you have it.

[wigglebox]

the shittiest thing is that there isn’t anything wrong with 15x18′s scene [the one thing i wish is that dean could have talked back and answered but i think we know why he didn’t]

bad things can happen to queer characters. the empty deal was set up since season 14 and it’s been dangling over our heads until 15x18 and the longer we went we either thought they forgot about it or we were clowning that destiel would be the thing that made him happy and indeed it was. 

bad things can happen to queer characters if you allow the story to take flight from there. 15x18 wasn’t bury your gays [imo], indeed, technically, cas was taken alive to the empty. he wasn’t killed he was just kidnapped lol. 

the issue wasn’t that the empty deal was fulfilled because again, it happened. it happens.

this show can have very sad moments. the show killed him in the season 12 finale too but we knew he was coming back so it was okay. 

the problem was never 15x18. that scene was beautiful, the immediate aftermath is haunting, and its impact on the fandom and pop culture was felt deeply. sp8, bobo, jackles, misha, they all did a very good job. i can play that scene in my head like it’s on screen in front of me beat for beat. 

the problem was the fact that 1519 and 1520 did literally no follow up. 

****I’m going to state for the record right now, I don’t believe that cas is in heaven so that’s going to take up the bulk of the second half of this so if that spec really upsets you pls don’t continue ;_;

15x18 ended and dean’s ignoring a phone call from sam, who he knows could very much well be in trouble. it was quiet, he was crying, it was sad, we all cried, we were all so happy but also so sad, it was a beautiful tornado of emotions that any writer and actor and director should feel proud of telling. 

the issues came first with 15x19 when you had little emotional follow up. idk who inserted the scenes where it appeared dean was really struggling with what happened but he never explained really what happened to anyone. he didn’t say aaaaanything. he didn’t explain. nothing. 

there was that report from a set watcher that said in their first scene where they try to give themselves up to chuck and he’s talking about bringing cas back that he was really really emotionial, whereas in 1519 it didn’t seem as emotional as we know he can get, and has already gotten before. but that’s more up for debate because we don’t know that person’s parameters for ‘emotional’

but regardless, dean’s emotional state in 1519 didn’t linger too much on 1518. i feel like you can feel jackles struggling to try and demonstrate that where he could but what also sucks is that he’s not in charge of what takes they use. 

the last time we hear dean say cas’ name is when he gets that phone call and it’s lucifer — some more queer coding and the last bit of it we see for the rest of the show. 

and after that, literally, i’m serious — like go back and watch the episodes if you don’t believe me — dean never says cas’ name again after that. 

so already out of the gate, a man who, through our own past witnessing of his emotional state after cas has gone, should be really just completely frozen. maybe not completely, only bc you’d imagine he’d draw on that inner emotionality and help use it as a tool, and we do get ‘that’s not who i am’ or whatever but there’s still no....impact. 

1519 muffled the emotional impact of 1518. 

1520 shoved it in the ground and covered it with 8 feet of cement. 

1520 has a whole host of issues which like — conspiracy after conspiracy as to what happened exists but the fact remains is i do believe them when they say the final script post-covid wasn’t all too far from the original pre-covid. i know there were reports from 2020 vegas con that one of the actors, i think kim or bri, said they were still working on fine tuning the script — but regardless — i don’t think it was ever going to be too far off. 

my complicated emotions on 1520 range from genius episode to oh my god what the fuck episode — but the fact of the matter is we were likely never going to see cas again. 

sam mentions him in a group with others, bobby mentions him as an after thought etc etc. the worst thing is that we were likely never going to see cas on screen again because if you did you’d have to put him on the same screen with dean and if that happened the people would want an answer to 1518 straight up

so we replace him with jimmy instead and what likely would have been our last glimpse at a good queercoding, the last strong punch to dean’s 15 mile deep glass ceiling they have on top of him. jimmy was supposed to be dressed like cas, and they were supposed to talk. dean’s reaction to seeing him was supposed to initially be emotional before he realized it wasn’t cas. 

but even that wouldn’t have helped 1518 because we still wouldn’t have seen cas. 

they never explain how cas ‘helped’ rebuild heaven, how he got out of the empty only two episodes after he got in there, why he doesn’t show his face [which i feel like would have been even more ‘wtf??’ when we saw jimmy but not cas], etc etc. since we didn’t see him on screen, and never was going to see him on screen, i did not believe he was in heaven at all.

all this unspoken dialogue and scenes explaining to us literally, — as dean and sam hunt monsters who literally rip the tongues out of people and dean gets first pied in the face [with a laughing robert singer behind him] and is stabbed in the back and killed — that the lack of emotional response and feedback and story post 1518 was a deeper issue behind the scenes with the creatives. 

the problem wasn’t 1518, cas being taken by the empty as part of his deal, etc etc. 

the problem was there was no emotional follow up, no contemplating, no empty rescue, no more dean and cas on screen together, etc etc etc. 

[which, as part of the meta conspiracy — 1502 cas tells dean ‘we are (real)’ and now they’re not on the screen anymore by the end together soooooo was....any of that real?]

but regardless, spec, meta, and whatever aside

the problem was never 1518. 1518 is at the good kids table. the problem was, and forever will be, the episodes that came right after and didn’t do anything with that incredibly emotional and impactful scene.