#I actually bought two others and might review those too

[portlandwithyou]

A Digital Fangirl's Journey into the Analog World

It started with a search, three words typed into the eBay search bar. Due South zine.

I began my fandom journey online when high-speed internet was slowly rolling out in the United States. I've never known a time in fandom when a million search results weren't at the tips of my fingers, and yet I've been nostalgic for a more physical relationship with fandom. Thankfully, the @ds30below fest announcement had a week devoted to history. The perfect excuse to dive into zines for the first time.

Due Frisky #2 is a digest-sized, soft-cover zine held together with staples. This baby fits perfectly in your hand for reading anywhere. The photo doesn't do it justice, but the cover is a pretty pinky-red color.

Inside, there is a table of contents, an editor's note, the stories, and, at the back, a short advertisement for more zines from the same press. Included at the end of each full-length story is a black-and-white photograph from the show that is connected to the story's content. This is an F/V zine from January of 1997, although nowhere do they address or even mention Ray K. Perhaps issue one dealt with that?

As for the content itself, there are four stories and one poetry cycle. I'd especially like to highlight the first story, "Perfection" by Khylara, which deals with Ray V's Catholicism in such a beautiful way that I was practically jumping with joy as I read. Unfortunately, my searches have not turned up this fic anywhere online to share! It's such a shame, too; it's so thoughtful.

Speaking of which, although I can find some of the authors online, I haven't found any of the particular fics from the zine available. Mireille, who people may know from their other F/V works, has the first part of a multiple-part series in this zine. Now, the editors warn you of this in the editor's notes, but I had forgotten by the time I got to this story, and frankly, I am climbing the walls wondering what happens next!

I found reading this zine extremely satisfying. It was wonderful to have some fanfic to curl up with during a spring storm while being beholden to a supercomputer in my hand.

I also loved reading stories that were contemporary to the show's actual airing. I found the language to be just ever slightly more formal than fanfic nowadays, but in a way that was not distracting or detracting.

Another thing, as the title might imply, all of the stories feature sex and sexuality as a topic. Obviously, given my track record, that doesn't bother me. But I could see where that would turn some off from reading. There's drama, fluff, and plenty of other emotions throughout the pieces, but at the end of the day, they will be having sex.

Overall, this was a fantastic zine for a beginner. Every piece was wonderful, and I anticipate reading it again many times.

[ghulehunknown]

Mountain x AFAB Reader

NSFW — MDNI

Summary: You and Mountain take a break from your duties to have a little fun in his room.

CW/Tags: sex toy use, tail fucking, masturbation, unprotected sex (P in V and anal), double penetration

Word Count: 2.4K

“You bought how many toys, Mounty?”

“Um, just a few.”

“It looks like a lot.”

“Yes, well - Santa came early.” You stared blankly at him as he shrugged. “I didn’t know what to get so I just got the ones that I dunno, looked the best and had good reviews?”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Well I guess you get to choose which one you want.”

“Ah, okay. Well this one here also goes up my ass. Which might be kinda nice. Um okay, these two vibrate, but one has a remote…” He flicked his eyes up to yours. “Uhh. And one of those extends down to my taint, I think? Oh, that’s the one Copia suggested. But it should feel nice for you too, you know, if we - yeah. This one is just a silicone dildo. Oh, and this one goes over my balls.”

“The vibrating ones sound nice,” you said, nodding.

“I can’t choose. What if I just…I dunno, use them all?”

“All of them?” you asked incredulously. “Think you can handle that?”

“I guess it’s time for me to be a ho ho ho,” he remarked with a small smile. You couldn’t help but laugh at his silly joke. He never failed to put a smile on your face. You supposed that was why he was your favorite.

~

You looked back on the events from the days prior that led you into his bedroom for this very exchange. You were making Secret Satan cards for the children’s hospital in the library, making out with each other in between cards, desperately trying not to make any noise while the other Siblings were working or studying - and failing, miserably. He caressed your body with his tail, completely taking you by surprise.

You had made a one-off comment, without even thinking. “Damn, you fuck with that thing too?”

“Yeah actually I do,” he replied, his face stoic but eyes twinkling.

“Hm, I’d like to see that,” you said - again, what were you thinking? This was insane. Plus, he was one of Cardinal Copia’s head ghouls…you really couldn’t afford to distract him. But the holidays were here, which meant the band was getting a lengthy and much needed break. So maybe this was your chance at giving into your desires.

You finished up the cards, stacking them neatly in a pile. You were supposed to be helping the Siblings decorate and Mountain was supposed to meet the other ghouls in the mess hall before Mass. But…you had more important matters to attend to. You had agreed, since this would be your first time with a ghoul and adding a tail in the mix, that he should try a new experience too.

You walked together down the hallway towards the Ghoul dormitories, arms linked as you people watched. There were multiple Siblings hanging up garlands and lights along the corridors and you even spotted Papa Terzo terrorizing some young Sisters of Sin.

“Jingle Balls, suck my balls, make my chimney rise. Oh what fun it is to cum on my amore’s thighs,” he sang, draping tinsel around one’s neck and dangling some mistletoe in another’s face.

“…and I heard Satan’s hells bells on the rooftop, I swear it, I did!” you heard Nihil say to Imperator who merely said “Of course, Papa,” as she led him down the hall towards the chapel.

Finally, you made your way past the hustle and bustle of the busy Ministry hallways to the Ghoul dorms. As one of the top Clergy member’s head ghouls, Mountain actually had his own room. But he shared a wall with Swiss and Dew on either side, who would tease him relentlessly if they heard any goings on in the night.

So you opted for the middle of the evening, when everyone was likely to be at Mass. And here you were, your very first dick appointment with a ghoul.

You both kneeled in front of each other in his bed, and leaned into kiss one another, his arms holding onto yours and his tail wrapping around your thigh.

Fuck, maybe being with a ghoul would be better…it was almost like being held by three hands.

The tail was surprisingly soft, not sharp at the end even though the arrowhead tip looked pointy. It approached you just as softly as Mountain wanted, and you knew he could be just as rough as he wanted to be too.

You ran your hands through his hair, his short dark locks tickling your fingertips. His kiss was passionate, deep. His lips were soft and inviting.

He gingerly moved his tail up your legs, in between them, and slowly slipped the tip between your labia. You inhaled sharply as the fleshy bit met your sensitive bud, pressing on it almost like a button.

“Fuck!” you exclaimed.

He paused, pulling his tail sway slightly. “You okay?” he said, holding your face in his hands.

“Yeah, I - yeah, no - god, it’s just so…fuck, it feels amazing. Please, do it again.”

“My pleasure.” He re-entered, maneuvering around your folds and finding your slick pooled near your entrance. He poked around, gathering your arousal and sliding it around, back up to your clit and focusing there. “You’re so wet already. Good girl,” he purred. His cock twitched against your leg, bobbing up and down as he slowly grinded against you.

“Should we put a cock ring on you?” you whispered breathlessly, smiling as you nodded towards the bedside table.

Carefully, you helped him put the vibrating ring on. He spread lube on it and his whole member while you warmed some up in your hands and spread it along his perineum.

“Mmm,” he moaned quietly at your touch, closing his eyes.

You clicked the toy to its lowest vibration setting.

“Oh, god! Shit, they weren’t kidding! Ahhh. This is, oh fuck, wow!” His hand flew to his cock, which was bobbing up and down involuntarily.

“And that’s just the first setting. I’m guessing the other toys are a no-go?” you asked, hovering over him still, straddling his thigh.

He let out a sound that didn’t sound too convincing. “Yeeeeah…? Um, this is fine. Actually -” He clicked the vibrator off and handed you the remote for it. “When it looks like I need it.”

“I’ll tease you with it,” you said, trailing your hand along his balls and up his shaft.

“You better not,” he said, biting at your nose and missing as you pulled your head back in time. “All right. First time getting tail fucked. Ready?”

You rolled your eyes and pretended to punch him in the chest. “Yes, I’m ready.” How much different could it be, really? “I’m more concerned for you. You’ve never used a cock ring before, let alone a vibe,” you said, widening your eyes.

“We’ll be okay,” he said. Something in the soothing way he spoke, ugh you could just melt into him.

He leaned back against the headboard, his arm bent behind his head to prop himself up. “Ahhh,” he uttered, hissing, guiding his hand over yours stroking his cock. “Sssoo good.”

He looked you in the eyes as he touched himself, bringing his tail in between your legs again, pushing past your folds this time and going straight for your wet core.

You leaned back, propping yourself up with your hands behind you, moaning as he entered you, tossing your head back as your neck went slack. You straddled his waist, almost like you were scissoring.

You watched his tail slide in and out of you repeatedly, moving in a wave-like pattern with a dexterity that a finger or a cock couldn’t provide.

Your body relaxed and you slid onto your back, staring at the ceiling. Finally, the tip of his tail found your g-spot, and as you shuddered against his legs and let out a guttural sound you didn’t even know you could make, he made an “ah-ha!” sound and you could feel him add more pressure to your spot. All the muscles in his tail flexed, going tap tap tap along your walls. You clenched around him.

“Fuck, you’re so responsive,” he said, letting out an amused chuckle. “You’re fun.”

You shook yourself out of a trance-like state, almost entirely forgetting he was there. You forgot he was watching you like you were his own little porno, touching himself to the vision of you before him.

You leaned against his leg, resting your head by his knee. You lazily tickled along his thighs, in between his legs, caressing him, and looking into his eyes as you kissed his inner thigh. You shifted more on your back, arching it, resting one leg on his shoulder so his tail could go deeper inside you. He held onto your ankle by his shoulder, kissing it.

His tail flicked in and out of you, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. He slipped out of you and up to your clit, massaging it with the tip.

“Oh fuck!” you exclaimed. He tapped it against you in rapid succession - taptaptaptaptaptap - fucking hell! It had to be the musician in him, the quick and agile reflexes. He rubbed the upper part of his tail against your length, before flicking the arrowhead against your clit repeatedly. “Mounty, I’m going to cum! Fuck!!”

He held onto your leg, caressing it, while stroking himself with his other hand. He picked one motion and stuck with it - a firm, but gentle massage on your clit with his tailtip.

Your whole body quivered, your orgasm spilling over. You moaned and clutched onto his leg, biting into his skin to muffle the utterly pathetic moans you know would be coming out of your mouth.

“Ow, shit!” he exclaimed but you could barely hear him.

You bucked your hips against his tail to ride out the last smaller waves of your climax, before settling down again. He retracted his tail from between your legs, and you were left staring at the ceiling for a moment before hearing your name being called over and over again.

“Mmm?” you muttered. “Oh, sorry for biting you.”

He laughed. “It’s okay. I’m just glad you were enjoying yourself.”

You nodded feebly, feeling a little pathetic, but utterly blissed out.

“Think you have one more round in you?”

“Mmm,” you mumbled, not even giving an answer.

He patted the mattress beside him. “C’mere.” He pulled you back up to your knees, which were trembling, between his legs. He held your chin in his hand and whispered, “You wanna know what it’s really like to get fucked?” You nodded in his palm. “Good girl.”

You straddled his waist, hovering over his still erect cock.

“Did you want to use protection?” he asked, leaning over to his drawer to reach inside for some condoms. You shook your head. “You sure?”

You nodded and said, “Yes. Please Mountain, please just fuck me.”

He handed you the ring vibrator remote, but spoke before fully relinquishing it to you. “You hold great power in your hands. Use it well.”

Fucking nerd. You laughed at his corny ass joke and nodded, saying, “Yes sir,” in a fake serious voice.

He leaned over for the lube bottle and spread some all over his hands, covering his tail with it then circling your asshole, getting it nice and wet. You draped your arms over his shoulders as he took your waist in his hands, guiding you over his cock, lining it up with your entrance, then sinking you down onto his lap.

Fuck, he felt so good. It was incredible. And very different from the tail. His cock was firmer, building a different kind of pressure but every bit as pleasurable. You both moaned as you sank slowly on him. You moved your hips up and down, already so tired from before, and starting to falter.

His tail wrapped around your ass before teasing and prodding around it, finally slipping in. The feeling, while out of this world, was incredibly overwhelming. You fell down on his cock with zero grace, shuddering and breathing loudly, moaning every few breaths.

“Mmm!” he groaned, grimacing. He said your name through gritted teeth.

“Oh fuck I’m sorry,” you said.

“It’s okay, it takes a lot more than your beautiful ass to hurt me,” he said with a smile, kissing your lips sweetly while giving your rear a smack. “Mm? Everything okay?”

“I can’t, Mounty, I’m sorry. I can’t do it.”

With zero hesitation, he removed his tail from your rear end and started to pull himself out of your entrance.

“No, no, fuck, please that feels so good. I just can’t, my legs are fucking jello. I need you to fuck me.”

“I can do that,” he said warmly. He picked you up, his strong hands grasping your waist as he slammed you up and down on his cock. He pummeled into you from below. “Just relax, I got this.”

“Ahhh, fuck!” you wailed, his tail entering your ass once more, this time without teasing the invitation but instead thrusting in with more force. You let your body slack against his, letting him do all the work.

“Remember your very important job?” he said, eyeing the remote that fell out of your hand.

You nodded, tears in your eyes from the intense sensations ripping through your body. You clicked the button, feeling the buzz of the ring on his cock rub against your clit everytime you fell back down on him. You bared down, grinding against the ring and rubbing yourself along his pubic bone. You clicked the next button, heightening the sensation for you both.

“Oh god - I’m not gonna last,” he grunted. “I’m going to cum. Is it okay if I finish inside you?”

You nodded. “Yes,” you said breathlessly.

“You sure? Last chance before I blow.”

“Stop being so polite and just fucking cum inside me!” you shouted.

“Christ, okay!” He groaned as he continued to fuck into you, jerking his hips forward as he shot warm semen inside you, spilling out. He stopped, still holding onto you, burying his face in your chest, breathing heavily. You sat on his cock, the buzz of the cock ring now sitting against your clit. From that and his tail still prodding away at your ass, you came again just a few seconds after him.

“See,” you began, breathing hard and climbing up to him. “When you asked if I wanted to know what it’s really like to get fucked, I swear I thought you were going to use your drumsticks.”

“The thought crossed my mind. So how was it? Any different? Just as good…better?”

“Yeah…like a really wiggly dick,” you answered truthfully.

He laughed boisterously at you. “I always appreciate your candor.”

[thessalian]

Thess vs The Purpose of Demos

With it being Next Fest on Steam and everything, I got to thinking. Because, like, most AAA companies won't actually give you demos anymore. I think the last one I saw for any of the franchises I actually like was Mass Effect 3, and I would have bought that game anyway (though honestly, I would have bought it on the strength of the demo too, so hey).

So while I was walking out to the shops (taking a break in the weather that has been incredibly bipolar today - bright warm sunshine to torrential rain and thunderstorm with little in the way of transition), I got to thinking about how many games I've picked up on the strength of the demos alone the last few years. Now, I've played around 90 demos according to my looking over of my "Thess vs demos" tag (though I'm sure I'm missing a few), and a fair few of those I haven't got simply because they're not out yet. So ... here's the list of the ones that I have picked up, solely on the strength of the demos, either from memory or from my demo tag:

Dredge (pre-ordered, one of my favourites)

Wylde Flowers (played under a different name, again one of my favourites)

Spiritfarer (another favourite)

Grim Tides (bought both games in the series on the strength of the demo)

A Building Full Of Cats (Devcats is awesome, and I just keep adding their games onto my wishlist on the strength of that one demo)

Logic Town (I have over 200 hours on that damn game and it is my ultimate Zen)

I Was A Teenage Exocolonist

Growing Up

Witchy Life Story

PACK MY STUFF

Sapiens

My Dream Setup (think this one was a gift)

Lake (this one was definitely a gift)

Fabledom

Boxes

Interior Worlds

Locked Up

Book of Hours

Room of Depression

Cook Serve Forever

Fall of Porcupine

Stray Gods: The Roleplaying Musical

Harmony: The Fall of Reverie

Street of Secrets

Venba

House Flipper 2

Code Vein (gift; not my fault I can't play it due to janky keybinds)

WitchSpring R (was fine until they made it controller only post-demo)

So that's more than a quarter of the ones on the list. Of those, sixteen aren't even out yet, five of the ones I played were more up front about requiring a controller than the two at the bottom of my list of purchased games, three timed out before I got around to playing them, and at least thirty didn't make the wishlist at all, either because too janky, not my thing, or other priorities. The rest ... well, the rest and the "not out yet" is why my Steam wishlist is exactly 130 games big.

It makes me sad, honestly. AAA companies will do all the flashy marketing stuff and prevent any reviews from coming out until at least release day, pushing for hype-based pre-orders and refusing to let anyone know what they're actually getting. Meanwhile, here's me buying all manner of games I'd never have otherwise heard of, much less touched, based on Steam going, "LOOK! DEMOS FOR GAMES!" Half the time I wonder if it's that they have no faith in their product. Then I remember that it's more that they don't care; they just want as many people as possible to buy it immediately on release if not sooner. They're perfectly happy to put up any barriers they can to an informed purchase for ... just as a for-instance, people like me, who is literally unable to play certain games and really need to have any given game in my hands for at least a few minutes to figure out whether a game is one I can play or not.

But ... like ... take Veilguard, for instance. It doesn't look like one I can play. Watching the gameplay left me with a migraine that still hasn't 100% quit yet because of all of the camera movement, and the ARPG feel of the gameplay looks like something I might find it fairly painful to do - maybe even impossible, depending on the day. But if I could have it in my hands, see the accessibility options, find a playstyle I could work with, I would be a lot more inclined to buy it. Now I have people all over reassuring me that the accessibility options will surely be enough (even though they're actually refusing to talk about those in Q&As at the moment) and that of course I'll find a playstyle that's right for me ... and yet I have the memory of playing the closed beta of Secret World: Legends and being unable to play. Of getting Code Vein and finding that the limitations they set on changing keybinds means I can't use an entire ability suite. Of buying WitchSpring R and having to return it immediately upon starting the game because while the demo didn't require a controller, the finished game did. Getting Jedi: Fallen Order and discovering just how ARPG it is and how hard it is to find keybinds that work for me given my limitations. Of having a game I really want - actually owning it - and being unable to play because of things I didn't know before I bought the thing (or it was bought for me, which is somehow worse).

So ... yeah, I'm frustrated that the AAA gaming space would rather obfuscate with marketing hype instead of letting us make an informed decision, with the end result that I either avoid games for a long time (if not forever) ... or risk ending up with a new addition to the collection of very expensive games that I only find out after the fact that I cannot play.

...Basically, MORE DEMOS, PLEASE.

[an-aura-about-you]

starting in on Handbook for Mortals and I'm just going to cover all the miscellaneous beginning crap that this thing is wrapped in before actually starting on the story.

first thing I'm going to talk about is what's on the back of the book because not a lot of people talk about what was chosen for that. usually there's a brief blurb with the premise of the book or maybe some reviews, sometimes even a little paragraph directly from it to entice the reader. that last one is my standby when I need to put a summary for a fic.

Handbook for Mortals went the route of paragraph from the book as well as three quotes from romance author Skye Turner, who also wrote the foreword for the book, and the promise that this book will soon be turned into a movie. which was due to come out *checks my wrist* six years ago. this has not yet happened, but the author is still insisting it will.

anyway, the bit chosen from the book to highlight what we're getting into is a conversation between our main character and her love interest, which is meant to be some enemies to lovers stuff. but honestly I'm a bit uncomfortable at the, "looked like he might hit me, but I knew that wasn't really an option for him," in there. so, we are already setting up our love interest as a person who needs some kind of mental restraining bolt to refrain from violence instead of just, y'know, not being violent. really speaks to his morals right there. absolutely trustworthy, surely his resolve is ironclad.

this also speaks to the genre of the book because there's a lot of talk about this book having magic and being magical but it's the romance we're choosing to set up here. I think it's safe to say magic is going to be present in this book the way coffee is in a coffee shop au fanfic: it's technically true but it's not why we're reading the story and ultimately not important to it.

I'm not even gonna bother with the blurb on the inside of the dust jacket because it's literally just a synopsis of the entire book. even the ending. I'm not even kidding.

now I wanna talk about the autographs my copy came with. the book I bought for $2 off of Amazon was signed by both the author Lani Sarem and actor-potential producer of the movie Thomas Ian Nicholas, and both of them write some pretty weird things to the people they gave this book to. (there were two names in the personalizations as well as a post-it note with those same names. my best guess is one person in the couple preordered the book with Sarem, requested that it be signed, and then never picked it up. hilarious if true.)

I'll start with American Pie guy's dedication first:

"Be the magician who fools magicians."

like. what? what does that even mean?

Sarem's is both worse and funnier:

"Never forget those who do not believe in magick will never find it! Thanks for believing!"

well I guess they didn't believe too much if they never picked up their book. also that just feels so mean-spirited to me. had I written a similar dedication, I would phrase it as, "Never forget those who believe in magic will always find it!" then it's still exclusive without needlessly dragging others down for ~not being able to find the magic in their lives~. not to mention my own personal pet peeve with the whole magick thing, but that is a rant for considerably later.

there is a typo in the book's disclaimer:

"Any similarity to real persons, living or deal,"

but also that doesn't make sense because I know this book has the real life Plain White T's with their real names as well as Carrot Top and Wayne Newton.

there's also proof that Sarem had permission to use all the song lyrics she uses in the story, which are so copious that without thinking I originally wrote the word, "fic," in this sentence. because yeah, this reeks of songfic, the rare example of one where the person writing has permission to actually use the song. look, I've only seen song lyrics work in a book exactly once, and that was Good Omens. and Lani Sarem is not Terry Pratchett or Neil Gaiman.

(I should know, I just listened to the audiobook for Stardust as a sort of cleanser to remind me what a good book sounds like. it's shockingly refreshing listening to the work of an author who is actually good at their job.)

the dedication is also just. ugh:

"This is dedicated to: The granddaughters of the witches you could not burn and for all those who believe in Magic."

that exists in print in this book. I'm assuming seriously.

I took a peek at how long the foreword is but don't have time to get in on it before I start work today, so this is where I leave things for now.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I bought Jon Richardson’s book a couple of years ago. It was from 2010, the cusp between his radio years and his panel show years, and I wasn’t sure what Jon Richardson to expect from it. I hadn’t bought it in the two years before that, even though those two years contained the peak of Jon Richardson phase (Basically what happened is… you know how in 2024, I decided to try to stop drinking at the same time as I got really into John Robins and that led to possibly over-identifying with the material? Well in 2020/2021, I discovered Jon Richardson not long after I’d moved out of living with my best friend because I kept having breakdowns about not being able to control every tiny thing about our shared space and also life in general and it made me terrible to live with, and it nearly broke up a friendship and ruined much of my life, and getting into Jon Richardson at that point created a similar effect. I’m still a bit amazed at the number of hours I put into watching every single episode of 8 Out of 10 Cats/Catsdown and listening to all 125 hours of a radio show from 2006-2008, among other things, but that was at least a bit of the reason why. Incidentally, my friend and I have recently become roommates again as I have become less difficult to live with/he bought a house and needs help paying the mortgage, it’s actually been going very well so far, he cleans more than he used to and I have fewer breakdowns than I used to about things not all being as I want them, and genuinely, I think my Jon Richardson phase helped with the latter part of that as it made me recognize some of some of my own maladaptive patterns and get better at consciously letting things go. Also, the world ended between then and now and the problems we used to have don’t seem to matter as much anymore), because I’d seen the cover and it looked like it was sort of marketed as a zany dating guide for quirky people. I thought that might have been the beginning – or an early pre-empting – of Jon Richardson taking all my favourite things about himself and packaging them into something much neater and blander and more marketable that was still fun for a while but eventually descended into a caricature. So even when I was watching everything else he’d ever done, I never bought his book.

Until a couple of years ago, when I actually looked it up, and found that it seemed different from what I’d expected. I looked up the consumer reviews and jumped to the ones with the fewest stars, because that’s how I usually do that. If I’m looking up something’s reviews, I don’t need to hear about its best features, the marketing will tell me that anyway. I want to know if its worst features are things I won’t mind. The worst reviews for Jon Richardson’s book all complained that it was too depressing, that he was sort of messed up in a fun and relatable way on panel shows and they bought the book because they liked that, but in this book he just comes off as a horrible nightmare and it’s hard to read. And I said, great, that’s exactly the version of Jon Richardson I want. So I bought the book, read it, greatly enjoyed it, cried several times, it’s fine. It was very much that version, the book might be the darkest I've ever seen him get.

I was thinking of that today (partly because in light of recent events that version of Jon Richardson might be… nope I’m sticking to no comment on that), when I read Steve Bennett’s review of Tom Ballard’s new show. Chortle gave him 4.5 stars last year for a show I loved, so I was curious to see if he could live up to it this year. He didn’t at least in Chortle’s eyes – he was down to 3.5.

However, once again, I was able to establish how much I’ll like a show but what criticisms are levelled against it. If Steve had said that Tom Ballard hit strong material last year but has now reverted back to relying more often on cheap shock value-based sex jokes, then I’d probably still have wanted to see the new show (I do like a lot of the cheap shock value-based sex jokes in Tom’s older shows, but I think he’s better when he’s using them fairly sparingly and around more interesting stuff), but I’d have been less excited about it.

However, Steve Bennett didn’t say that. He said the most negative points about this show were that Tom Ballard is too loud, too relentless, too over the top in his efforts to bludgeon the audience with his points. And that is my favourite Tom Ballard. I know it’s not for everyone, I genuinely think that’s fine, I’m not even sure why I like shouty comedy in a few circumstances (Nish Kumar, white gay Australian Nish Kumar Tom Ballard, Jen Brister, Michael Legge) and find it unbearably annoying in most others. If you find it unbearably annoying in the forms where I like it, then that's absolutely fair enough. But personally, I'd be quite upset if anyone told me that Tom Ballard is not going to come to Edinburgh this year and relentlessly bludgeon us over the head with his shouty angry points.

Also, that bit the review references, in which he takes Tweets out of context, sounds pretty bad - ironically, when described out of context - but actually, I found that pretty funny in his video from this year's MCIF gala:

Now that I listen to that again, I might actually find that really annoying if it came from a different comedian. But I felt like I could watch Tom Ballard read that list all day.

A bunch of those new MCIF reviews look interesting. The Laura Davis one has probably pushed them to the top of my list of people for whom I could buy Edinburgh tickets right now, but haven't booked them yet (so everyone except Nish and DO'D for that), but should probably just fucking book them because there's no way they'll get pushed off the final cut of my must-see list. Laura's probably just ahead of Tom Ballard on that list. The MCIF reviews have kicked Greg Larsen and Zoe Coombs Marr up a couple of places on the list, probably. Oh, and I've become somewhat obsessed with the 2023 Dan Rath special that I just watched a couple of days ago. There are too many things. I can't go to the UK and spend the entire time watching Australians.

Anyway, to summarize the post, the Tom Ballard review reminded me of that Jon Richardson review that made me want to buy it more, various events of this week have also reminded me of my Jon Richardson phase, a phase I have now moved past and look back on with anything from mild sheepishness to full-blown mortification (to the occasional bout of "actually, you know what, I think I was right about that"), but to be fair to Jon, that's how I look back on most things.

[blueikeproductions]

Rise of the Beasts is almost here, and the movie is getting pretty glowing early reviews similar to Bumblebee showing signs we have good talent behind it again. The toys however seem to be sitting on shelves mostly, though that might be due to price primarily as I have seen evidence of people looking at the toys and buying some. I’ve had an eye on the two pack Spark Armor style toys and two pack Autobot/Maximal/Terrorcon with animal weapons, but those are the most expensive toys of interest and not in my price range atm. One older collector I bumped into bought most of the Beast weapon toys so he could display them in Beast Mode and Gun Mode. So there is at least some demand for the toys.

I do have some quibbles due to recent interviews. Ol’ Lorenzo keeps insisting the film doesn’t break canon and is part of the Bay films, but the director and early audiences have all pointed to the film being treated as a reboot but still having nods to the older movies, like most franchise stuff are want to do. Lorenzo won’t let it go, but as far as I’m concerned, Beasts is part of a reboot era, and unless Paramount finds a way to shove the square peg into the Star shaped hole, I’m disregarding anything Lorenzo says. And it appears other officials are doing the same, as it has been officially declared RotB is a reboot, with a new trailer also calling the movie the start of a new era to solidify the deal further.

Steven on the other hand seems interested in seeing more movies that utilize other planets and other kinds of Transformers since they spend too much time on Earth. As much as I’d be open to fiddling with this, I’m not sure if they’ll actually do that. At best you get Nebulous, since it’s populated by human like beings, and you get more Scorponok for whoever keeps putting Scorponok in the films. I’m not sure how a Velocitron movie would work, is it Fast & Furious with the villains being the Stunticons? In any event, for context and mild spoilers, a post credits scene involves GI Joe recruiting Noah. If I had to guess, besides the usual Joe/Autobot team up, if this gets properly followed through, the Joes are likely meant to be NEST in this universe. Not sure atm what this means for Sector 7, which exists still via the Bee movie. Perhaps GI Joe is an extension of S7, as the Joe rep talking to Noah is fully aware of the Transformers. It’s worth mentioning it was recently revealed a Transformers and GI Joe crossover movie is in development, so the scene with Noah is clearly meant to build towards this. I suspect this may be how we get Megatron as well, with Cobra, like in past comic adaptions, discovering the stasis locked Megatron and seeking to utilize him as a weapon, also potentially explaining his inevitable (HISS?) tank mode, unless they decide to make Megs a helicopter like his Animated and EarthSpark selves. In any event, it doesn’t seem like Hasbro wants the Autobots to leave Earth any time soon, and it might depend on if the Transwarp Keys survive intact if they CAN get off world on the future.

Steven’s similar interest in wanting to show threats beyond the Decepticons feeds into my earlier concerns Hasbro doesn’t seem to want to use the Decepticons as major villains anymore. I mean let’s be honest, we all thought a possible Bee 2 was going to involve more Decepticons on a larger scale having picked up Shatter’s transmission because Soundwave detected it, none of us expected Terrorcons or Maximals. It makes me wonder if Horrorcons will be in the sequel: guys like Apeface and Snapdragon would lend themselves well as Unicron agents. With Unicron, at least at the moment, intended to be the trilogy’s main antagonist, I don’t really see any other evil Transformers beyond the Terrorcons right now anyway. Even Beast Machines felt it was less complicated not to involve Predacons so the Vehicons could shine as the main enemy. That being said, when there’s Maximals, usually there’s Predacons, so the Preds might have a shot at becoming antagonists. It’s not clear who else survived Unicron eating the Maximal planet, but they clearly had better luck than the Lithones did. Megatron’s Predacons surviving seems like a safe bet going by advertisements that feature reliefs of Terrorsaur, BlackArachnia, Waspinator and the like. That said, Scorponok was part of it, but he appears to be allied with the Terrorcons and is a mass produced drone despite being labeled a Predacon in toys, so… -big shrugs- I could see Megatron’s goal being similar to RiD Steeljaw in that he wants to create a Predacon homeworld and chooses Earth for his purposes, intending to wipe out all humans, Autobots and of course Optimus Primal to claim his prize. I’m sure they’ll eventually bring in Decepticons later on, but the fact we abruptly jump from the Great War to whatever the deal is with Terrorcons doesn’t inspire confidence there. I do hope though that since we have Scourge, the next leader of the Terrorcons is Cyclonus. Still has the Acolyte of Unicron mask, but he is helicopter patterned after Armada Cyclonus, lol. I mean if this Scourge is a homage to RiD Scourge, I don’t see why we can’t get this.

[conkerfrog]

Gonna do a lil' mini review for some of the bots I got recently, so here goes...

First off, Velocitron Scourge. Very, very, very nice figure, I love his colours, his lightpiping is absolutely BEAUTIFUL, and hes an overall solid figure!

My only niggle is his gas tanks, which flip out from his thighs. After siege optimus' leg transformation, earthrise, kingdom, and legacies primes have fallen short in my opinion.

Trailer is decent, not much interest in that, but his sword and axe are cool.

8/10

Next up, we got Legacy Tarantulas. A cool, creepy dude, who looks absolutely epic. I love his colours, and his transformation is chef's kiss.

It might just be me, but i also feel like his head is just sliiiiiightly too big, in comparison with the other beast deluxes.

Love his grapple gun, and his pizza slicer, which is a nice reference to his transmetal form

9/10

Number three, SS86 Sludge. Hes a big boi. A very big boi. Quite possibly the biggest boi. And hes amazing! Transformation is brilliant, pretty much nowhere near what i initially expected, with so many clever little bits, hes just a joy to have, and he looks very good next to my grimlock (still need Sla... Slug. Heh. )

Hes got a big blaster that looks pretty good, but i have no idea what his gun is supposed to look like, so i dont know how accurate it is.

9/10

Velocitron Override/Nitro Convoy next. Shes ace. Ive watched the unicron trilogy once when i was younger and dont remember much, only that everyone says its terrible, which im choosing to ignore. However, i absolutely love the designs, and override is a shining example of how good they are. I love her epic shins, her head aculpt is noice, and i love the new design of her gun, and that it can hold one of the old cyber planet keys!

I do worry about her translucent red chest and the hinge its on, but theres been no signs of stress yet.

10/10

Heres the problem child though... Buzzworthy Terrorsaur... Honestly, I ordered him on a whim, and then immediately regretted it, and found out that you can't cancel an order on pulse unless you contact customer service, who got back to me after it had been dispatched and couldnt do anything. I decided to keep him, because the golden disk one costs more than I'm worth. Objectively, a very cool toy. Brilliant colours, nice mould, all that. The problem is that he's not MY terrorsaur, if you get what I mean. I never had the original toy, my only experience with him is the show, who had a completely different colour scheme. However, hes growing on me.

Also, his ankle vall joints are quite loose.

6/10

Most recent acquisition, today actually, is Legacy Blitzwing. Very mixed bag honestly, i love his bot mode, it looks brilliant, but the other two are slightly lacking.

Out of his alt modes, the tank is easily better. Thick, chonky, and bigg. Very nice. Only complaint is the cockpit on the front, which i feel couldve been covered up with some panels flipping in off the shoulders.

But the jet... Ehhhhhh... It wouldve been so much better with ough the sides of the tank just hanging off the underside. But as usual, one of the modes of a triple changer has to take the fall, and the jet mode was it. At least it wasnt the whole figure, like the t30 version!

Guns are cool, so is the sword, and i couldnt care less about the big hands. They went into the parts draw immediately.

7/10

I saved the best til last, Velocitron Cosmos. I love him. So much. Hes my chonky lil man. I love the colours proportions, headsculpt, even his lil flag and gun are brilliant. Hes definitely worth the arm and leg i paid for him, and i would do it again. Was it a bit much? Yes. Am i happy with my purchase? Hell to the yes.

His UFO/landmine/doorbell/boob mode is brilliant too, the gaps bother me nowhere near as much as i thought they would, and i love how the head flips into his chest, rather than messing about trying to pull the head from a tiny hole.

10000000000/10

Well, those are some of the bots I've bought recently, I'll probably post a full shelves pic soon, but theyre all messy at the moment, because when i mess with them, i dont always put them back in their pose.

Should be getting elita 1 next week, and I have all of wave 3 preordered (bar bombburst/blood) and flamewar too, so I'll post shots of them when they arrive.

Conkerfrog, out.

[screenmaven]

Lying Eyes - Film Review

Thriller/Romance 1996

I’m Back!! Review time. I know it’s been a minute, and yes I’m back on my 90s made for tv, lifetime esq masterpieces, or just some good b movie noirs. This one however was insanely good.

Here’s the 411.

We have a senior girl Amy (played by Cassidy Rae) in high school who’s obviously very pretty and gets into an accident with a charming dark haired man. I’m gonna call him Mr Suave or as the film calls him Derek Bradshaw (played by Vincent Irizarry), cause boy did he lay it on real thick. He starts up a romance with Amy although she is 18 and him 33. Oh those older men romances that just end so well lol. (Might be speaking from experience when I was in high school 😱😅). The Cranberries song “Dreams” was used from their first meeting, and throughout, which was an absolutely perfect fit for this scenario. I love me some Cranberries and definitely 1996, so it blended the film so well. Music to me really makes a film work.

Amy gets swept off her feet by Derek giving her expensive gifts, fine jewelry, making her feel more mature and cultured, all the while doing a number on her mentally. He’s a lawyer with a beach house and a telescope, and can go about anywhere. (I may just be tempted myself with a telescope offer..). Anyways, her friends are jealous, as well as concerned, but she’s just head over heels in love with him, but then it gets twisted. Nothing in these movies ever goes that smoothly, or those relationships, despite our illusive fantasies. I mean sometimes they can work, but I don’t know many that have. We’ve all had fantasies of older men, as teenage girls, just as boys have had the same for some older women too. It’s the mystery and taboo that’s exciting.

So, after they are into their whirlwind romance, Amy goes to fix a bracelet that Derek gave her at the jeweler, after it broke. When she gave his name to the jeweler, she hears he bought two, and after going to that other address she discovers he has a wife, and children. I mean, did we not see that coming?! Then she confronts him about it and he says he wants a divorce and that Amy is the only one he wants. Classic line, time and again.

All the while why they are dating, from the start of their meeting Amy is also being harassed and stalked by someone maliciously. After finding out about his wife, she suspected it was her, but I’m not going to give it away if it was her or it wasn’t. This movie has got some good twists and turns and I really want you to watch it to find out the mystery stalker. Again, as I said earlier parts of this movie made me think of a situation I was once in and goodness, was that a time. Young women are very impressionable and as an older woman now, some of these older men preying on women’s young innocence is very predatory. Although, it might feel hot to be young and have an older guy, it is never an easy road, and you often find yourself in more of a mess. Still, it’s a great film and scenario that keeps your interest, and I love me a good wild romance.

Go ahead and give it a go if you’re looking for something cool to watch in that genre. I was actually pretty impressed with the quality, cinematography, and writing, and may you also enjoy some Cranberries, which I linked below.

Happy Filming

[jaderimehardt]

Re-Organizing Things 📦 & Resin Mask

My new Sterilite storage containers finally arrived in the mail today. A little late but that's okay- it's been rain storming again where I live. We even have predicted snow? Cali expected to get snow? 🌨️❄️ Hah. Yeah right. I'll believe it when I see it.

(No, that's not me being negative, that's me being grounded. I've lived here my entire life.)

But anyways! I bought these two containers to stack upon each other for basically two levels of flat surfaces, vs. the one flimsy (but cute) fabric cube I had before. These also have a seal that according to the website:

💠 "Gasket Boxes offer a gasketed seal to safeguard items from both air and moisture, keeping those special belongings safe from the elements, dust and pests."

Most my storage containers in the garage are like this because of this seal. Last thing I want is for moisture to get in and penetrate things. I see what happens to my soda boxes out there in the winter lol, they become soggy and warped and just yuck.

If you want the Walmart link to these exact ones, it's here: https://www.walmart.com/ip/Sterilite-Plastic-Storage-Container-12-Qt-Gasket-Box-1942-Clear-W-Blue-2-Pack/855654663. You can also find more just searching Sterilite. But they can get pricey- you're buying that fancy 'seal' after all.

Let me show some pictures.

Another reason I like these so much, and I believe I mentioned this, is because the bottom of them is flat. I don't mean a rounded-flat, I mean square-flat.

With most other containers, the edges will curve up so much you cant push items or boxes all the way to the edge and you lose so much room in the box. It's actually a huge let down- but not with these. You can clearly see I pushed a box all the way to the side and I'm losing none of my inner space. I love these containers.

Think I have more pictures of these in past blog posts where I'm storing bubble mailers and such in them.

Time to put them to the test with fitting my resin molds in them. I only have room for two in my shelving otherwise I'd totally buy more.

On the left is the "flimsy fabric cube" I was referring to above, lol.

But yes, these do fit all the things! And everything is flat for the most part. I'll have to do some digging to pull stuff out when I need it- which may become a bit obnoxious time to time... I wish I had room for more of these 🤔💭 even just one or two more. Especially with the way I keep buying molds 😅

I'll figure out something, and I might end up buying more of these.

(It's important to keep resin molds flat because you want your resin to cure flat. If your molds have curls or deformities, they're going to cure that way too. Ofc there are some exceptions- like some silicones are heavy/loose and bounce back, some molds are small, etc.)

I'm not trying to turn this into a total insert-product post or anything but it's kinda looking that way isn't it? 🙃🫠😅

Up until now I've only worked with UV Resin, but I'm going to change that this year and work with epoxy, and with that means I need to have proper protection equipment. If you're reading my stuff, I hope you're taking note of this and considering this yourself.

At first I just went to Amazon and searched for "resin mask" and "resin mask for women" or something simple and got a plethora of options, it was a bit overwhelming.

After reading through several items and many reviews, I almost settled upon one. Almost.

I then saw this comment.

And decided to look up some things. (Time to use some braincells~)

So, the mask I was looking at (that, that comment came from) was the mask + the filters + goggles. The price of it came to:

That one can be found here btw: https://a.co/d/hfoAiO5, and it looks like this:

BUT! Let's take a look at 3M like she's suggesting.

(Link: https://a.co/d/1XrdvGU) Kay...

(Link: https://a.co/d/atr8H4I) Okay...

Now we're just missing goggles. But there's many pairs of goggles out there, this is just the baseline for the mask + filter.

21$ for a cheapy wanna-be knockoff (and people are wishy-washy on its validity to keep you safe) vs. 40$ for the real deal.

Putting two and two together I was kind of like wait... this isn't adding up for me. The 20$ one kinda feels like a scammaz, y'know? Or maybe you can see it as a really good deal 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you're still not sure which is the best option at this point, let's find a pair of goggles.

(Link: https://a.co/d/frylBF6) My Bro uses this brand all the time at his construction job and look at the amount of reviews on this. In addition, the comments and vid reviews are great on them too.

Also in the reviews on these goggles, are a bunch of photos of people wearing these with the 3M mask and other types of masks. So they definitely work with masks- that is something I was looking for specifically.

Another thing I was being mindful of, is if they cut off your peripheral view cause that's a thing that drives me nuts. According to one of the video reviews- they do not, because of how they sit on your face/head 👍🏻

That puts us around the 52$ mark if I'm just averaging the price, not really doing actual math.

Yeah you could go the cheaper route and get a "knock-off" for 20$, but is it worth the risk? That's something you gotta assess for yourself, I guess. Personally I bought all of the separate things, I'd rather be safe than sorry. I did however link all these things here to provide information and options.

If you're going off the grid of information I've provided, just make sure to read reviews and watch video reviews. Make sure you can return the product. People are usually vocal if they have complaints about a product, but sometimes you have to judge that for yourself as well cause flukes do happen.

Or, in some cases people don't know how to install/operate things, they'll have user-errors and blame the company or product for their faults. Even if an item arrives damaged, they'll blame the company for the item's condition when it was more likely the fault of the Shipping Courier. In that case, is their customer support good? Is that mentioned in their reviews anywhere? Be mindful. Do research.

There might be better brands or options that I don't know of. I'll be the first to admit I don't know everything 🤷🏻‍♀️. I didn't even bother to consult my Bro on this (cause I'm not the type to just randomly dial up/text someone and be like heyyyy~ question~)

Can always consult Google and Youtube too with keywords like "Best Resin Mask" or "Best Resin Goggles". I didn't consider to do that this time around; Those are usually hit or miss for me. Most times they take you to websites of "Top 10 ___" and then they're super expensive out of budget items and 🫠 meh.

Edit: The mask stuff just got here!

The filter was very easy to install onto the mask and I don't smell anything weird coming from it.

It does fit me and it's adjustable- if anything it tricks me into feeling like it doesn't because I'm used to using a headset at the PC that sits more forward on the top of my head, and this sits far back on my head. That's going to take some getting used to. But it is secure, it's not going to fall off. It's like a loose helmet- It's a mask.

Exactly how Amazon reviews described this. When trying these on, I could see out my peripherals- which I love.

These sit up high on the cheeks and the nose, so they leave room for that 3M mask (or other masks). They're very clear, almost like you're not wearing anything at all. I'm surprised myself at how much I love these 💟 (stamp of approval)

[david-watts]

5, 14, 27 for vinyl asks 😁😁😁

5. favourite lp in your collection? hmmm that's tough... I'm trying to say something Other than early morning wake up call by flash and the pan because I talk about it all the time so it's a given I love it so much. probably have to go with trans by neil young. my copy's a sample record given to radio stations and reviewers and the like

14. do you have any rarities/limited edition records? if so, how many? WELL I have several sample/not for resale records including my copy of trans as stated above, but also cloud nine by george harrison and love beach by elp. possibly more I don't actually remember off the top of my head lmao... anyway. I recently picked up a secondhand copy of a 50th anniversary repress 12" single of satisfaction by the rolling stones, which was limited edition. I think my easybeats vol. 3 original pressing counts as a rarity, too, and of course the guy who sold me my live 12" single of am I ever gonna see your face again? by the angels said that one was pretty rare too. oh and lastly because abba's mamma mia backed with hey hey helen was an australian exclusive combination it counts as a rarity too, but I don't think it's that rare since it was a big hit and I see it all the time

27. what's the highest number of records you've ever bought at one time? good grief I actually don't remember. it was two years ago at a record fair which I do remember bragging about going to to my cousin because she was locked down whilst we could go anywhere (including the day before going to the bakery that inspired kiki's delivery service). I bought something like. twenty records? and most of them were not cheap. it's where I got the easybeats eps and those were $30+, but I'd specifically saved up enough to go ham buying records so I try not to feel guilty about it. that would defo have been the most I've bought at once

thanks for asking!!!! it's kinda wild that I own so many records because before I started collecting myself I saw people showing theirs off on here and was so jealous but now... I think I might have more than the person I think I was jealous of lmao

[denimbex1986]

'...I should be able to have a mai tai and enjoy a movie

I saw last night “Oppenheimer,” Christopher Nolan’s bio-thriller on the life of American physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer, who led the Manhattan Project during World War II.

I had planned to save my review of the film until I could debate it with Ed during this week’s episode of The Pillar Podcast, which we’ll do, for sure.

But I’d hate for anyone to spend their money on “Oppenheimer” without the benefit of a good forewarning.

I’ll offer three caveats:

— I saw “Oppenheimer” with my dad, who bought my movie ticket and my popcorn. I love going to the movies with my dad — a Pillar reader in a good way — so I should clarify to him that I’m reviewing the movie, not the experience. I’ll see a movie with you anytime, Dad. Especially when you buy the popcorn.

— I saw “Oppenheimer” after two Mai Tais, which packed more punch than I expected. Those Mai Tais didn’t impact my judgment, but they might have lowered my sense of decorum, which is why I laughed at some of the movie’s super serious parts.

— There was gratuitous nudity and sex in the movie. It didn’t need to be there, or — if, for some reason, it did — it didn’t need to be quite so graphic. It was to my way of thinking so ugly and mechanical that while sexual, it was not pornographic. It was salacious, but not titillating — an ugly exploitation of sex, in which the plot’s most bleak moral outlook was laid bare.

I wouldn’t take a young person to the movie, because of the sex, but for about 50 other reasons, too.

So, caveats aside, here’s my take:

“Oppenheimer” is a well-shot, well-planned, well-acted film, full of haunting cinematography, especially its focus on the face of its protagonist, which was used to tell masterfully a great deal of the story.

It captured well the bleak beauty of the desert, man’s quixotic quest to control nature, the folly of bureaucratizing the most powerful weapon in human history, and the moral depravity which gripped nearly everyone who got involved.

It was a film about Eden, and about Babel.

And it was a movie about actions with consequences, which might be entirely foreseen, and still vainly charged into.

The mode of storytelling was itself part of the story, it flashed between periods of time — it offered snippets, not sequences, to vivify that some calculation on a blackboard could set the world on fire.

In all of those senses, it was an interesting and powerful movie.

But it suffered the problem that most Christopher Nolan movies suffer from — it prized vibe over substance, nearly collapsing under the weight of its own “artfulness,” and its inconsideration to the viewer.

Christopher Nolan is the sort of filmmaker who is probably offended by the idea that he might do anything, ever, to accommodate people who plunked down 12 hard-earned bucks to see his movie, maybe after a pair of Mai Tais on an empty stomach.

If he isn’t going to tell his story sequentially, in the time-honored manner of storytelling, he might at least put the date in the corner from time-to-time, so that people watching the movie might have some idea what the hell is actually going on. Or make the flashback black-and-white, and put the present in color. Or have a radio announcer in the background say the year.

Christopher Nolan is rude, if you ask me, and borders on scornful toward the people who see his films. It’s cinema as ego trip. An audience is a privilege, not an irritation.

It’s one thing, I guess, for a movie like “Inception” to leave the viewer confused — and to confirm at the end that the whole thing was just one big mindjob, possibly devoid of actual rationality, but revered by the Nolan-gnostics as a work of genius, which normies like me are just too insipid to understand.

But “Oppenheimer” was ostensibly a movie about a real person who really lived through the real events depicted in the movie. Would it have been so hard to say “this part happened in 1959,” or “right now, it’s supposed to be 1946?”

Would it have offended Nolan’s artistic integrity to let people know what the real sequence of this man’s life actually was? Could he have maybe just put on the table, in some critical scenes, a newspaper with a date displayed?

I talked with someone this morning who read “American Prometheus,” the book upon which “Oppenheimer” is based. To them the movie was intelligible and coherent. Fair enough. But none of us should have to read the book to get the movie. That ‘s too much of an ask.

I’m not saying a weird, confusing movie is always bad — and I actually liked Nolan’s “Memento” very much.

But “Oppenheimer” is too clever by half — its effort to bend space and time — like a nuclear reactor, I guess — leaves normal members of the audience feeling like they got bombed by an insecure “genius” desperate to prove himself.

OH!

Maybe that’s the point.

Maybe “Oppenheimer” was more autobiography than biopic.

At least that’s what I’m going to say when fanboys tell me that my tastes are too middlebrow, and that I don’t deserve Nolan’s genius.

They’re right. I don’t deserve Christopher Nolan. None of us do, no matter our sins.

Or, maybe I am too middlebrow. Maybe I prefer a nice Tom Hanks-style biopic with a beginning, middle, and end. Maybe I just like, you know, normal movies.

I can live with that. For 12 bucks, just tell me a story that isn’t about how smart you are.

Einstein, by the way, was the most interesting character of “Oppenheimer.” Despite himself, maybe Christopher Nolan knows that he’s no Spielberg...'

[ninalanfer]

Make 9 2022 Review

Make 9 2022

I think maybe I picked these patterns for a reason. So let’s review shall we?

(I’ll link to my ravelry page for the projects where that’s applicable)

Grusvägar by Stine HoelgaardJohansen  Was a pleasure to knit. So much fun with something happening on each row. Knitted in by Permin’s Esther. It’s pretty, it’s comfortable, it’s very wearable. Only thing is the sleeves are too wide, and I might actually rip those out halfway and take them in more aggressively than I did.

Majas Mamelucker Leggings by Maja Karlsson (aka the Lilly Pond Leggings) Still a work in progress. I started these relatively recently. They’ve also been put on hold, because I thought I was knitting them too small. But after blocking and testing I’m on the fence. Also, I decided against following Maja’s pattern at all and winged it on my very own. So they probably shouldn’t be under this name any more. But anyway.

Maja Cardigan by Hélène Magnússon Man I’ve struggled with this cardigan. At first because Lettlopi is friggin’ rare right now. And has been for the last few years. And when I finally managed to get the amounts and colors I wanted, and swatched them together, I didn’t like it. It wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t what I had in mind. So I put it away until I could get hold of some other colors. That happened to be now, last December (2022). For reference: I started planning this cardigan sometime in March 2021. You’d think I would be excited to finally start this thing. But... No. I swatched again. Didn’t like the borders except for the middle big one. So I changed those out. Swatched again. But it still wasn’t working. At this point I had to ask myself: I’ve changed almost everything about this cardigan, from the way I’ll knit it to the colors and the borders and everything. Do I really want to knit it? There’s so many other sweaters and cardigans I’d like to knit more than this. So, long story long, I changed my mind. The yarn will get a new home in some other project.

Maia Summer Top by Belly Helms I knit it, I love it. It was fun (if a little arduous) to knit. Partly because of the yarn (slippery and thing) and partly because that’s a lot of pattern to follow. You gotta keep your tongue in your mouth at all times. But I love the outcome. I’ve worn it a bunch. I’ll wear it a bunch more. Also, pattern was just the way I like patterns to be. More like a recipe. Highly recommend. Aurelia Tee by Anna Strandberg Honestly, I’ve almost started this a hundred times. I bought the yarn. But what stopped me was my experience with how much dye the yarn would bleed in the wash after. It’s the same as the Grusvägar Slipover. Esther by Permin. And while that was fine with that particular sweater, since it’s only one color. This one would be two. And not anywhere near each other on the colorwheel. So I felt I needed to wash the yarn properly before knitting. And boy was that a hurdle to get over. Since they come in balls, I had to ofc first make them into skeins. And yeah... that’s a lot of yarn to skein. And then wash. In two separate baths, and... yeah, you can only hear why I haven’t started this yet. But now the yarn has had a bath and is ready to go. But a thin tee isn’t what you wanna knit in the middle of winter. So I’ll await warmer weather!

Silva by Ivar Asplund I’ve bought the yarn. But why is every project ever on needles 3mm? They’re never free. Still looking forward to this though. Ivar Asplund’s patterns are usually really well written and laid out. And for little me who haven’t done much braids before, I might need it.

Goldfern by Jennifer Steingass I’m still spinning for this. I had hoped to finish at this (last’s) year’s Tour de Fleece. But I didn’t. And I burned out hard on spinning last summer. So it’s been on the backburner for a while now.

Slipoverlinne by Anna Bauer I’m almost all done with this one. Winter themed and everything. Was a lot of fun to design all the borders and I might’ve put way too much effort into it. Fun to knit too. Only now I only have the last two border on the back left, and the armholes and the neckhole. ... ... Yep. I’m out of yarn.

Batgirl Crop-Top Hoodie by Me I still really want this. The cropped wool sweater is pretty much the perfect thing to wear when you’re a little cold but not cold cold. And I really need a couple more of them. This just hasn’t happened because other stuff have taken the first place in the que and I haven’t even bought the yarn for it yet. It’ll come with me on my make9 for next year though ^^

---

Congratulations on making it all the way through this! This is mostly for myself, so I can go back and see what’s happened with my knitting and such. It’s a little bit like journaling, right? Getting all the thoughts out there and freeing up space in my brain for next year’s projects!

[eliza1911o1]

At this point HBO has to be just playing with us right because even from a data perspective ofmd is insanely good

Everyone else see the interview that came out this week where David and Taika pretty much said s1 ended in a place where a s2 was meant to begin?

Well, beside the fact that the show runners clearly intend for a second season, here are some factual reasons (I’m not going to go into sociological or artistic reasons because that’s a whole other essay) why Our Flag Means Death needs to be renewed:

Demand tripled by the time the finale aired and has grown into a huge fandom presence even after its ending

Became the most in-demand show in the last 100 days (dethroning Boba Fett by quite a bit)

No. 11 in US/World, despite having limited exposure

(as a note for when I say it’s been sort of exclusive to the US, I just mean that some people have found it difficult to watch in their native countries, though they might have had access through other services (as I talk about later, OFMD is exclusive to HBO Max, which is different from even HBO, meaning it has limited streaming even in the US). The international popularity wasn’t necessarily intentional unlike some of their other shows and, most importantly, I unfortunately can’t find specifics on country-to-country streaming (because HBO Europe and Asia can be different than HBO US) and any data I reference is related to what I can find for the US. But if you’ve found it hard to find in your country or it’s been easy/recently added, feel free to comment)

Here are some graphs showing the demand/ratings for the show as well if you want something more visual (cred@221Bcrow on twt and Parrot Analytics because I had trouble finding the original data and they’re nice graphs and I’m sorry if they’re blurry just know the top line is OFMD)

Not only are those numbers good, but this has been done with (from what I can tell) average to below-average marketing from HBO

If you want specifics, I included some data I gathered on the show’s promotions vs. ratings based on its rate of occurrence on the HBO Instagram accounts (I’m sorry I couldn’t do Twitter it was too much work) and ratings on popular sites like Rotten Tomatoes and IMDb. I compared OFMD to Winning Time, which acts as a representative of other current HBO shows, since it had a similar start date, is one of their most advertised series, and has already been renewed (even though the final figures aren’t out yet for WT). I did NOT choose it to garner any hatred towards the show, which I think is important to point out since it is also a well-produced series from what I know and the creators deserve respect. Anyway, here’s the data:

Release

OFMD: March 3rd, 2022 - March 24, 2022 (10 episodes)

WT: March 6th, 2022 - present (6 episodes)

Ratings

OFMD:

90% critics score (top critics and average critics score were the same) on RT

95% audience score on RT

8/10 on IMDb (out of 11,660 reviews)

WT:

84% average critics score (72% top critics score) on RT

82% audience score on RT

8.5/10 on IMDb (out of 5,464 reviews)

(just for reference, CODA, which won Best Picture at the Oscars this year, has RT scores of 94% (critics) and 91% (audience) and an IMDb score of 8.1/10, though obviously from a much larger sample)

Promotions

(for this, I literally went through the main and HBO Max Instagram accounts and documented how many times a post related to either show appeared (rate of occurrence); there is probably a margin of error of +/- 1 post, but seeing as the numbers are pretty different this shouldn’t impact the conclusion; you can count it yourself too if you like lol)

[HBO Max Instagram]

(Started at posts dating back to March 1st, 2022; the total number of posts is 321)

OFMD: 21 times (6.54%)

WT: 31 times (9.66%)

[HBO Instagram]

(Started at posts dating back to February 9th, 2022; the total number of posts is 252)

OFMD: 0 times

WT: 32 times (12.70%)

(in case you didn’t know, HBO and HBO Max are actually two different services. HBO is a cable network, which still comes with TV bundles and can be bought through services such as Hulu, but HBO Max is HBO’s streaming platform that hosts extra content. HBO Max shows are not really mentioned through HBO the channel since they don’t air on it, as shown by the official HBO media accounts not including any mention of OFMD but heavily promoting WT)

IN CONCLUSION

Even from my non-HBO-professional pov OFMD is a very special show and the facts reflect that. I don’t even have all that much included here. As opposed to WT, one of HBO’s frontline series right now that has already been renewed, OFMD was not streamed or promoted through HBO’s main channel and had average SNS marketing (similar to Minx, another ongoing show that had a 5.30% rate of occurrence on the HBO Max account but a smaller presence overall). It has not just produced extremely positive ratings and gathered an extremely large audience (not to mention all the inclusivity and happiness it has also brought), but has done so with little conscious help from HBO. Honestly, a lot of the promotion for OFMD probably came from people randomly posting about it through tumblr and twt in addition to the casts’s/staff’s wonderful interviews, which is crazy to think about. I don’t personally enjoy Euphoria, but knowing the show’s extremely popularity, I think the fact alone that OFMD was able to top its ratings despite the mitigating factors should be a huge indication the show requires a second season immediately (and maybe a third too?)

The petitions have already begun for good reason and if you need more evidence past it being one of the purest romances ever to support the show’s renewal, then here are some fancy numbers for you

[queen-haq]

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 8

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 8

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Rating: R for language.

Words: ~2000 words.

Summary: You’ve been sleeping with Billy Russo for a few months now. Knowing his aversion to emotional commitments, you’re satisfied with your clandestine arrangement until you catch him having dinner with Dinah Madani one night. Then it finally dawns on you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to commit, he just doesn’t want to commit to *you*.

Billy may think he knows you, but he has no idea what he’s just lost...

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5   Part 6   Part 7

Part 8

Billy read through the file on his desk for the third time that day. After the night of the gala he’d hired an investigator to gather info on you, and now all the major events in your life were neatly encompassed in a red folder, ready for his perusal. Despite your refusal to share anything, he’d managed to learn a lot about you reading your file. Except instead of giving him clarity on you, the documents triggered an avalanche of questions and emotions that left him rattled.

You grew up in the projects, in a poor neighbourhood in Chicago, but had managed to wrangle your way into a state university. He knew how expensive those were, and even with the scholarships you’d earned it was almost impossible for someone in your socio-economic background to be able to attend college – but you had, and judging by your relatively low student loans it wasn’t simply due to luck. Billy had learned a long time ago that when opportunities presented themselves, he had to make quick and tough decisions to get ahead. Rawlins had presented such an opportunity, which had given Billy the cashflow he needed to start Anvil. Who was your Rawlins, he wondered.

Throughout college you interned at a moderately-sized company in Chicago and they hired you immediately upon graduation. You never looked back after that, moving from firm to firm while going up the corporate ladder. There were so many things about your life you didn’t share with Billy but you had been honest about one thing – Anvil couldn’t afford you. If he’d hired you, your salary would be on par with his.  

Billy still remembered when he’d signed his first lucrative contract. He’d been eyeing the Wraith for months prior to that, and as soon as he could justify the purchase he did. The penthouse in a luxury high-rise building came next. You, however, were the complete opposite of him. You owned your condo, and while it was nice and in a decent neighbourhood, it certainly wasn’t a luxury purchase. You were careful with your money, except when it came to shoes. Based on your credit card records, you bought a lot but the ridiculously expensive purchases weren’t as numerous. He guessed those were the ones you bought when you were especially troubled, like Davina had said.

Billy had pored over your life starting from where you were now all the way back to your childhood. The first time he read the child abuse investigation report in your file was two days ago, and it had taken him hours to finish because of the sheer rage it provoked in him. It was an incident reported by one of your teachers after you’d shown up to school with bruises and burn marks. Of course the child protective services had done nothing, you’d been returned to your parents. There were no other reports filed after that but abuse that vicious didn’t stop just because the cops came around. Your parents probably just learned not to leave visible bruises.  Billy was all too familiar with that kind of violence and realizing you went through the same made him want to destroy every fucking person in your life that ever hurt you.

“I fought like hell to make something of myself, to be safe and happy.”

Your words still rung in his ears. They had haunted him for a week now. He could still remember the strange look of apathy on your face even though your words were obviously coming from a place of hurt and anger. At the time he didn’t know what you meant, but now he understood and it both sickened and infuriated him that you felt threatened by him. What could he have possibly done to conjure the same fear in you as your goddamn family? How could you compare him to them?

“You will not destroy me.”

Your voice had been steady and calm when you said the words, a complete contrast to the confusion he’d been feeling. Fine, he may not have recognized your worth sooner before but that didn’t mean he wanted to hurt you. Yet you’d accused him of doing just that and it pissed the fuck out of him. Yeah he’d bragged about Anvil to Roger but that was to get you actual protection and keep you safe – something your precious fucking Roger should have done from day one. Corporations didn’t give a fuck about their employees until their bottom lines were threatened and knowing a competitor had access to that kind of info meant bad PR for Valiant. You were smart, you should have realized exactly why Billy had played that card but instead you chose to be willfully blind and accuse him of jeopardizing your job. It made him so angry that it had taken every bit of willpower he had not to shake the stupidity out of you.

The phone rang, pulling him out of his thoughts. Upon seeing who it was, he picked it up immediately. “Yeah?”

“Hey, boss. Just wanted to give you a heads up. Looks like she’s lost her tail. Didn’t even take her that long. The guy’s an idiot.”

Frustrated, Billy ran his fingers through his hair. The little talk with Roger had worked and Valiant had assigned a bodyguard to you, but like everything else about the company, the guard was ineffective. Fortunately Billy had already anticipated Valiant’s ineptitude so he’d made arrangements for one of his best trackers to keep an eye on you. “Think she knows about you?”

Andy snorted. “This ain’t my first gig.”

Even though Billy knew Andy was great at what he did - he was one of Anvil’s best - it still didn’t assuage his anxieties about you. “Where is she right now?”

“Driving out of town. I’m on her tail.”

“Headed for?”

“Not sure yet. Connecticut, I think.”

Billy exhaled an agitated sigh. “Okay, let me know if there’s trouble.”

“Will do.”

After hanging up with Andy, he called your number. As expected, it went to your voicemail automatically. Just like it had every time this past week. Obviously you’d blocked him, which irritated the fuck out of him, but he realized it was something you needed to do for yourself. And if you didn’t have some unhinged lunatic after you, Billy would have given you the space you needed - but now was not the time to respect your goddamn boundaries.

“Hey, it’s me. I get it. You’re pissed but we need to talk. Call me.” He paused, breathing. A part of him wanted to add a ‘please’ but he didn’t like the thought of pleading with another person, even you. Because if he begged and you still didn’t call back… he didn’t want to think about what that meant.

Reluctantly, he put your file down and returned to reviewing the contracts in front of him.

***

It was almost two in the morning. He’d gone out for dinner with some potential clients and schmoozed the hell out of them. After a lot of booze and ass-kissing, they finally shook on the deal. All in all, it was a pretty great night except he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

Every time his phone rang he hoped it was you; it never was. And now he was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking of you like some lovesick fool. It was pathetic. He should have gone home with the waitress that had slipped him her number. She’d been hot, fun, and more than happy to fuck him but some stupid part of him felt guilty – actually guilty even though you’d been ignoring him for a week – of sleeping with someone who wasn’t you. What the hell was wrong with him?

Yeah, sure, he’s been in some relationships before but they never lasted long. When things were bad, they were terribly, horribly bad and the good times just weren’t worth it. And so, in the past few years, he’d decided to keep things casual with everyone until you fucking came along and dropped a bomb and now he was right back in the middle of a hurricane. Fuck you. Fuck You. Fuck you for making him feel like this. For making him feel desperate and clingy and pathetic. For making him worry about you. For making him care.

He grabbed his phone and called you. There was your fucking voicemail greeting again and the dreaded beep.

“I make you feel worthless?” A bitter laugh escaped his throat. “What the fuck did I do to make you feel that way? Tell me. Because you actually haven’t given me any reasons. You just spouted some bullshit about having feelings for me before you walked away. Now you’ve blocked my number and I’m sitting here trying to figure out what the fuck I did wrong.” He scooted off the bed and began pacing the floor. “Eleven fucking months we’ve been sleeping together and you tell me nothing about yourself. Nothing. You were a glorified sex doll. A fucking fleshlight who spoke and only told me things I wanted to hear. Yes, Billy. No, Billy. Fuck me, Billy. You kept everything bottled up! Not once did we have a real conversation. And then all of a sudden you come alive and I find out there’s more to you and I want to get to know you better but then you tell me you have feelings for me, that you might actually love me and instead of giving me a chance to process any of this shit you dump my ass and block me? Fuck you, Y/N!”  

He hung up the phone, feeling much better, but within seconds that feeling of euphoric release turned to anxiety. What if you misinterpreted what he meant? What if something he said inadvertently hurt you again? This time when he called you, his voice was calmer.

“This isn’t me, Y/N. I’m not the guy who calls a woman over and over again, especially when she wants nothing to do with me. But you’re in my head. You’re everywhere I look. I don’t want to think about you, I don’t want to give a fuck about you, but I do…” He took a deep breath. “You said you might love me but I think you’re full of shit. Because when you care about someone, you don’t leave them behind. Shutting someone out, abandoning them, that’s not love. That’s being a fucking coward.”

After putting his phone back on the nightstand table, he lay back in bed with his arm propped up behind his head. He pondered the message he left, realizing the truth. As hard as he’d fought it, as much as he didn’t want to, he had fallen for you. You. Not the woman he’d been fucking for eleven months who didn’t have any personality but the real you, the woman who challenged him, who made him laugh, who was brilliant and incredibly smart and so fucking beautiful he’d get a hard-on practically every time he looked at you. There was so much about you he didn’t know, but he wanted to spend the rest of his life discovering you, fucking you, making you his.

He didn’t believe in destiny or any of that romantic nonsense. The universe had fucked him over too many times for him to accept sentimental bullshit like that. But what he did believe in was himself. Everything he had he fought for and he destroyed anyone who got in his way. Something told him you were the same as him. You two were connected.

He reached for his phone again and dialed your number. His voice was strong, calm, and resolute as he left you a final message.

“I like you. I want you. I’m not walking away.”

He hung up, smirking.

Part 9

A/N - I’m back from lovely St Maarten, all tanned and relaxed :) I hope you guys had a wonderful week, and that you enjoyed this new chapter. I know it wasn’t plot-heavy, just thought-heavy but that was on purpose. I really wanted a chapter just for Billy to process his feelings about “You”. Hope the lack of plot wasn’t a disappointment. As always, thank you for the lovely feedback on the last chapter.  I’m sorry I didn’t respond in a timely manner while I was away!  Please know that I truly appreciate the likes, the reblogs, the wonderful feedback and the asks you guys left me.

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[krappykawa]

Hi !!! can I request oikawa, osamu, hinata (+ whoever you feel like adding) reacting to their female s/o calling them "hubby" (they have never used that nickname before since it's supposed to refer to a husband) to see their reaction??? i just saw this as a tiktok prank and they were like "omg you wanna marry me??? im definitely gonna marry you" and now im sobbing so precious 🥺🥺🥺

reacting to s/o calling them hubby

characters. oikawa x f!reader, osamu x f!reader, hinata x f!reader

note. in every scenario, reader is internet famous & posts little previews of their life on tik tok!

note 2. sorry for not posting in a while,, school started again and i’ve been mentally drained but i will try and finish other requests soon!

OIKAWA.

- you guys are filming a snack review video because oikawa lost all self control while grocery shopping and literally was picking things off the shelf left and right

- he insists that he’ll finish them this time but you know that’s a lie

- but you also decide that it’s also the perfect time to try out this tik tok prank on him so he won’t be suspicious of the camera

- the camera is set up and everything so now all you have to do is say it

- “hey guys today we’re going to do a snack review because my husband bought wayyy too many snacks” cute rolling eyes and cute little smile directed at oikawa that makes your watchers go 🥺🥺

- IT TAKES HIM SO LONG TO REALIZE

- like you’re literally staring at him waiting for him to realize but he doesn’t

- you’re halfway through opening your first bag when he finally realizes

- “WAIT”

- you look to the camera to make sure you’re filming this whole thing

- “you said husband.”

- “i did?”

- “YEAH! you did. i heard you say it.”

- “no i didn’t!”

- “check the video y/n-chan. i heard you say it.”

- he makes you replay the video because he will whine and pout until he makes sure that you hear it

- practically lights up when he hears it again

- “hmm does that mean you wanna marry me yn-chan?”

- “no it doesn’t”

- he notices the small blush on your cheeks points all over your face. “ooo you wanna marry me so bad huh?”

- the living incarnation of the 😏 emoji

- big cocky smile on his face bc he takes it as an accomplishment that you called him your husband on accident

- his eyes are secretly all teary-eyed though because HUSBAND?,$3;!9 💓💓💓💓💖💞💘💞💘

- he decides right there and then that he’s gonna propose soon because he thinks his heart physically bursts at the idea of you calling him husband for real

- the only reason he doesn’t propose right there is because 1. he doesn’t have a ring and 2. his an extra little bitch that wants to keep you on your toes while also making sure that his proposal is so good that you’ll end up crying happy tears

- when you post the video on tik tok oikawa makes sure to like every single comment that says “THEY’RE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE UGH WHY DONT THEY JUST GET MARRIED ALREADY”

OSAMU.

- his ass loves food so he literally lights up at the idea of doing a mukbang

- at first he insists that you don’t film it because he’s lowkey creeped out about the idea of eating in front of a camera just for people to listen to him eat

- he finally agrees to filming it when you promise to make the mukbang have all his favorite foods

- what he doesn’t know is that you’re simultaneously trying a tik tok prank on him

- “hey guys! welcome back to my channel! today we have a special guest, my husband, osamu because we’re doing a mukbang and you will always find this guy with food in his mouth, no joke.”

- he catches your little slip-up right away

- “husand huh? ya got something ya wanna say?”

- doesn’t even care that there’s a camera in front of you (he thinks you’ll just edit it out anyway)

- you play innocent because where’s the fun in telling him it’s for a tik tok right away?? “hmm what are you on about miya?”

- “what i’m on about is that yer telling me that you want to be a miya.”

- WEE WOO WEE WOO OSAMU EYEBROW RAISE WEE WOOO WEE WOO

- “i guess i do like the ring on miya y/n”

- “is this a proposal then?”

- cue shit-eating grin from you. “nah, the man in question isn’t here. you don’t happen to know atsumu’s ring size do you?”

- osamu’s little impish grin drops so quick and now he’s playfully glaring at you

- “ya say shit like that again and i’ll make ‘sumu switch places with me on the altar when we get married.”

- you're laughing into your knee at that point until you make a realization

- “wait. you said when we get married. not if.”

- “i didn’t stutter did i miya?”

- tik tok comments blow up with squealing fans bc OHMYGSOJD

HINATA.

- you’re a proud gf so you’re more than happy when someone asks you to live stream with your volleyball famous bf

- you also thought it might be a good time to pull this prank on him that you saw on tik tok and get his reaction on live camera because it’s bound to be funny since he’s hinata

- after one of his games you run up to him and hug him before telling him that your followers wanted to live stream with him

- “oh ive seen those!! i’d love to say hi to your fans!! do they know i play volleyball??”

- “yes, babe that’s the whole reason they wanted to meet you.”

- “REALLY???”

- you laugh at how cute he is and then turn on the live

- “hey guys, the long wait is over! here i am with my husband, world famous hinata shoyo! he just finished a game and-”

- “HUSBAND?” he interrupts you and he looks kind of giddy at the prospect. “does this mean you want to marry me y/n??” blushy happy hinata because you bet your ass he’s thought about it before but just didn’t know how to go about talking to you about the idea of marriage

- “what happens if i say yes?” you’ve thought about it too, so you playfully entertain his excitement.

- “then let’s get married!”

- you have to do a double take because you didn’t think he was actually serious. “wait really?”

- “you want to right? that’s what you said!”

- “of course i do! i just didn’t think you would propose right here right now.”

- “why not? i love you, you love me. you want to get married, i want to get married. so let’s get married!”

- the comments are blowing up because oh my god you just managed to accidentally capture your future husband’s proposal on an instagram live

- bokuto and atsumu overheard the whole thing and tackled the two of you into a group hug

- let’s just say your live ended on a frame of bokuto’s face close up because he’s so happy that “the student is getting married!!!”

- atsumu pulls out of the hug for a second and being the little shit he is, runs to the locker room and comes back with a ring pop

- “can’t propose without a ring shoyo! where are yer manners??”

- hinata actually gets down on one knee and proposes with the ring pop and you’re so red because at this point the entire stadium is watching

- you say yes anyway

[wildlyminiaturesandwich]

Why I left the EA Game Changer Program

Judging by the state of my inbox, a lot of you want to know what happened that lead to me leaving the Game Changer program and I was gonna write up a MASSIVE text post about it — I still might one day — but honestly... I’m not sure if I could be bothered right now. A lot of things happened, big things and small things, public things and things that took place in the Discord and DMs; all of it absolute bullshit but none of it is anything I want to continue to deal with, which is why I left.

This post still turned out to be quite long so I’m gonna put it under a cut, but if you’re expecting ALL the juicy details, this isn’t it. This is a couple of the major issues but it’s just the tip of the iceberg.

So let me just say, most of the issues can be boiled down to how the program was managed. The program has been slowly declining since SimGuruDrake left and the Community Manager role has kept changing. Say what you want about Drake and her attitude but she was damn good at her job and none of the crap that certain “high value” Game Changers have gotten away with in the past few years would have ever happened on her watch. But I can honestly say the newest Community Manager has been the worst so far.

(I mean, it’s been 5 days since I told him I was leaving the program and he hasn’t replied. I doubt he ever will. I am not surprised, I’m not even disappointed; I’m just annoyed that I was right because this isn’t the first time he’s ignored DMs and I wasn’t expecting any different this time)

Need some examples? We were told in no uncertain terms by the CM that only “High Value” creators (meaning a select group of Youtubers) would ever be given opportunities such as paid sponsorships, event invites and the like because they alone were worth the investment. He also told us that the Game Changer program has “nothing to do with the community”, which is a stark contrast to what most of us were told by the previous CMs and the reason some of us joined the program. And every single time myself and a few other Simblr Game Changers bought up concerns in the Discord about certain things (eg. racism within the program, favouritism, “high value” Game Changers bullying smaller ones, Game Changers acting inappropriately or taking advantage of their titles/power, the insane amount of stress put on us to produce content within such a tight timeframe for early access) we were either told “this isn’t the place to discuss this”, told to “calm down” when we were speaking politely, told to shut up and warned that if we kept going we’d be punished, or just flat out ignored and spoken over.

There were even several occasions where a certain group of GCs (some of whom were mods in the Discord) would provoke one particular Simblr because they knew she would only put up with so much before she would get angry and they hoped she would eventually say something to get herself kicked out. But every single time this happened, the Simblr was the one who was warned that if she kept being “aggressive” she’d be removed from the program. It’s gotten so bad that there are people who are actually scared to speak at all in the Discord because they’re afraid they’ll be removed from the program for having a difference of opinion or not agreeing with the “High Value” people. Honestly, if people knew even half of what was said within that Discord, if they knew how some of their faves behaved behind “closed doors”, they’d be even more disappoint than I am.

So, in conclusion, if you’re a Simblr and you are thinking about joining the program next time applications are open (if they ever are)... Don’t. They don’t care about us, they don’t view us as equals within the community even though Simblrs provide 90% of the CC and mods they use in their games; they never have and they never will. Simblrs have been part of the program for over 3 years and they still don’t even have a way for us to submit our early access content to EA (we have to DM it to the CM who no doubt just ignores it) or accurately measure our ROI, even though several of us have given the CM literal novels worth of information on how it could be done. The only way Simblr GCs have ever been acknowledged was if they started a Youtube channel or collaborated with one of the “high value” creators. Ever seen a single Simblr at an EA event, get a paid sponsorship or even simply get mentioned in a Sims official Twitter tweet? No. Why? They. Don’t. Care. About. Us. 

Honestly, if I knew back then what I know now, I never would have applied for the program in the first place. I could have saved myself years of stress, anxiety, sleepless nights, and tears.

But, if I keep going this is gonna turn into even more of a rant than it already has and that’s not what I want. I just want to wake up every morning not dreading what nonsense is happening in that Discord and how much trouble I’m going to get into for speaking up for those who are too scared. I want to enjoy my favourite game again. I want to enjoy making CC again. I want to feel like a part of THIS community again. Simblr is where I started and where I grew, and though it sometimes can be tough to be here, it’s my home.

Simblrs are just as valuable and important as any other part of the Sims community and no one can take that away from us, not even EA/Maxis.

Just a few things to add...

I have nothing against the “high value��� people or any Youtubers. They are just taking advantage of the opportunities given to them, as anyone in their position would. The issue I have is that it’s always them and no one else, but I don’t blame them for that because that’s not their fault.

I’m not going to name names. Sorry, I know some of you want to avoid supporting the people I mentioned being bullies but I left the program to get away from the bullshit and if I name names those people and their fans will come after me and I got enough of that in the GC Discord.

I will still be buying new packs. I love The Sims 4, no matter how much the management sucks, and I’m going to continue to play it because it helps me deal. Even before I became a Game Changer my FAQs page has always said “EA could literally announce a pack called something stupid like ‘Plant  Life’ with just a single ugly little pot plant in it and I would pay  whatever they ask”. If you choose not to support the game anymore that’s great and that’s your right to do so, but please don’t give out to me for wanting to continue to do one of the only things that makes me happy.

I will still be doing reviews of new packs. Just because I’m no longer part of the program doesn’t mean I won’t be giving my opinions of new packs, nor does it mean my reviews are going to change. My reviews have always been my 100% honest opinion and that won’t change. The only difference now will be I don’t get early access so my reviews won’t be up until after the pack releases, but on the plus side, I also won’t have to deprive myself of sleep and run myself into the ground to review an entire pack in less than 24 hours like I had to do many times with early access.

Saying “I told you so” is not helpful at all. I was aware from the start that Game Changers were free marketing, I’m not an idiot. I was just naive enough to think that they treated everyone the same within the program.

I stayed for as long as I did because I was stupid enough to think I could help change things. I thought adding my voice to the ones already trying to change things (who are still there trying now) that together we might be able to light a fire under the CM’s butt and get some changes happening to make the whole program more friendly towards creators from ALL platforms but it’s literally like banging your head against a brick wall. Nothing is ever going to change because they don’t want it to, but hats off to the few people still in there trying; they have way more patience and sanity than I do.

Not all the Gurus are bad. In fact most of them are really great, super friendly and treat everyone equally within the whole community; you only have to go to one of their live streams (on their personal Twitch channels, not the Sims official one) to see that. It’s mostly just the CM who I was referring to in this post.

It’s now been TWO MONTHS and SimGuruFrost never got back to me. I am no longer able to log into the Game Changer Network (the site we use to opt in to opportunities for upcoming games and DLC packs) so my credentials have officially been revoked but the CM hasn’t said a word to me. Even though I know for a fact when other people have asked to be removed from the program he practically begged them to “just take a break and then come back when you’re ready”. Just goes to show, standing up for people and fighting for what’s right will get you nowhere within the program; all they want are yes men.