#I already feel like I’m being judged by some fandoms (if they have seen my stuff i honestly don’t know…) but the fear is strong

[candyheartedchy]

How do y’all reblog fanart of your f/o(s) without getting embarrassed of the artist finding out you ship with the character???

[tacobellabeanburrito]

hello this is Anon again. could you please direct me to your favorite Ace Attorney fics? I’ve read pretty much all the popular ones so I’m looking for some more niche ones :) thank you!!

Oh Anon… You sweet, sweet summer child. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.

I was already planning on doing an Ace Attorney fic rec list because I wanted to share some of my favorite ones (A lot of the ones I read aren’t on many of the regular fic rec lists, so I wanted to share some ones that I feel like are really good and maybe don’t get enough recognition) So I am very glad you asked Anon, gives me reason to actually continue on my fic rec list! I love sharing my favorite fics!

Most of them are Narumitsu, couple are Krisnix, and some are both. Also a couple stragglers out there without a ship as well. There will also be some smut ones (Don’t judge please lmao) (Also, just saying. There’s no good Krisnix in this fic list, all of it is seen as toxic, I ship them as Toxic Tragic Yuri and they’re not good as a real relationship. Just a disclaimer)

Some will have big blurbs about them from me explaining their plot a little and what I like about them. For others, I’ll just post them because I don’t really feel like talking about them in detail. But I promise they’re all good!

I’m not going to link them this time, cause I dunno how to do that without making a huge mess cause there’s so many and I don’t want my post to be wonky. And I’m also not going to categorize them because I’m eepy and didn’t get enough sleep last night, so you can figure it out yourself Anon lmao.

(But if you can’t find any, please tell me I’ll help)

So, without further ado… Here are my fic recs!

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Fics:

Perfect by Sideblog: My absolute, all time favorite AA fic! Ever! Literally ever! I don't really wanna talk about the plot because that basically spoils the whole thing and I don't wanna do that to you, you just gotta read it! It is beautifully written and has an amazing concept that I would never think of in a million years! Seriously, so criminally underrated to the point of I have no idea how it doesn’t have like 15,000 hits on A3O. Even though I didn't explain much of the plot, just know that it is incredible and absolutely worth a read. I come back to it sometimes to read it because IT IS THAT GOOD. When I first saw this fic I didn’t really know what to expect because there weren’t any warnings or practically anything. Very mysterious fic. So glad I read it, though. When you get done reading this Anon, you gotta tell me what you think.

El Capo A Fine by tellezara: There’s something incredible about specialized Au fics in which you can tell that despite whatever the Au fic is about, the writer has an absolute love for the subject. This one is about musical instruments and Ace Attorney characters being part of an orchestra, and you can tell that this person has done orchestra before (Or at least thoroughly researched it and has a love for it) because they put in so many facts and interesting tidbits about instruments and the orchestra world that I never knew about and I loved learning about all of it. Fics like these are very special in my opinion because those people write it out of pure love for whatever the subject is and whatever the fandom is. Anyway, fic good. (Makes me wanna write an Ace Attorney choir fic, that’s my speciality)

The Miraculous Disappearance of Phoenix Wright by JJsADragon: Was on a road trip when I first read this and literally could NOT. STOP. READING. HAD ME GRIPPED. EDGE OF CARSEAT. The whole plot is basically a parody of "It's A Wonderful Life" where Phoenix ends up in a universe where he was never born. Which, as you can guess, causes a myriad of problems for the legal world and world in general. I had no idea where the plot was going, didn't know how it was going to end, and WAS TERRIFIED. But. I kept reading anyway. IT IS THAT GOOD.

Miles Edgeworth: The Ace Attorney by Charybdia: I SPENT AGES. AGES. Looking for a good, finished Ace Attorney roleswap fic. And when I found this one I STRUCK GOLD. SWEAR IT. Amazing, love this one. Still come back to it. IT’S GOT OBNOXIOUS THEATRE KID PHOENIX WRIGHT, HOW CAN I NOT LOVE IT? It also is accompanied by art Also, also, We get good friend Larry Butz. WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR?

Carpe Diem (make your lives extraordinary by Elysya): A high school Au featuring theater kid Phoenix, debate kid Miles and third wheel Larry. I loved this one. It’s also just super interesting. The developing relationship between Phoenix and Miles is one that I really like as they’re both messy teenagers and really gotta work out their flaws if they wanna be together.

Begone Dull Care by VivaRockSteady: A good Au fic surrounding patient Miles and nurse Phoenix. Goes into good detail about recovering from suicide and depression, and recovering from other mental health issues. Also check out some of the other fics by this writer. One is an Au of the Truman Show and the other is a Roman/Greek Au that I found incredibly interesting.

if you leave the light on by AngstinSpace: A very good fic. I was reading this one in my study hall and my teacher was playing calming piano music that was kinda sad/melancholic and I started tearing up in class because I was feeling all the emotions. Girl this is good, go read it.

I used to think people were good but now I just think they’re people by thebirdsandtheboxes: SEVERELY UNDERRATED. Super good and goes very in-depth into Phoenix’s disbarment period and how he and his friends and family react. Also has some good Asexual!Miles moments.

This man is not your boyfriend by its_ok_inside: AN AMAZING FIC CENTERING AROUND PHOENIX HAVING AMNESIA AND MILES HELPING HIM DEAL WITH IT. Hilarious. Super funny. I love it. Also is accompanied by some artwork. FUCK YEAH THIS FIC. A classic.

Surviving You by pantswarrior: I’m pretty sure this is an older fic that got moved, and it kinda shows that in its writing (Yk those fics that you can tell were written in the 2000s/early 2010s based on their vocabulary and thoughts on gay relationships? Kinda like that) but it’s good. Very good.

A False Start by theacegrace: A phenomenal fic centered around Bratworth!Miles meeting Feenie!Phoenix and Miles praying that Phoenix doesn’t get accused of murder when he sees Phoenix with Dahlia. Loved this one so much and came back to it a couple times.

Chicago Noel by canonlacrush: A classic. There used to be an Au a while back that everyone was obsessed with and it was a bakery/mafia Au. I wish there were more fics that catered to that Au but they’re hard to find. Anyway, this one is great.

Maybe In Time You’ll Want To Be Mine by YourAverageBystander: A time loop fic that I absolutely adore. Y’all really gotta key in on these Ace Attorney time loop/time travel fics, there’s a couple in here. THEY ARE A TREASURE.

Turnabout Sole by CollaboralDamage: An awesome bodyswap fic. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND BODY SWAP FIC IN THIS FANDOM?! And this one is good. Very good. Liked it a lot.

Shared Work Space by nerdyskeleton: I think the fic’s summary works best here “It was the best of times, it was the worst of time when Miles Edgeworth discovers he likes to be called Daddy”.

Shear Luck by TopazEstrella: One that I didn’t really know what to think of when I first kept seeing it on my search for Narumitsu fics, but I’m very glad I read it. It’s different, but I like it. Has some Krisnix in it.

The Illusion Of Control by Ekat: Amazing. Loved it. Takes place in an alternate universe where Miles died and Gregory didn’t. Has a lot of found family dynamics featuring Mr. Edgeworth, Phoenix and Ray.

Tight Lesh by Ensiy: I come back to this one often. One of the only fics that has good Kristoph and Miles interaction. They’re both catty bitches to each other. Has some Krisnix in it.

Out of Order by canolacrush: A super cute fic where Miles gets a haircut and Phoenix gets a crush. I re-read it a lot because it’s super cute and really fluffy.

With The Phases Of The Moon by Puddor: One I come back to often for a couple of moments. Really love it. One of the good Werewolf!Phoenix and Vampire!Miles fics.

You Ever Been In Love? by hechima: Loved this one a lot. We love the Wright gang trying to matchmake. A classic in terms of AA fics and for good reason.

Observe and Record by MAVEfm: An introspective Miles fic detailing him and his personal journal. I really like this one. Has some Krisnix in it.

Pressing Pursuit ~ Cornered by viviaciousbarkbeast: Love this one. I think this was one of the first AA fics I’ve read. Has some Krisnix in it.

That Man by Sunshine_And_Starlight: A really good fic. It has one of my favorite tropes and I come back to it for certain moments that I really like and wanna read again.

A Badge Of Honor by sunsmasher: Really loved this one. I also come back to re-read it cause it’s just so funny and awkward and hilarious.

Awkward Business by hechima: I’m a sucker for this trope! You’ll see what I mean when you read it. It’s all gold! I still come back to this one.

wait (they don’t love you like I love you) by Samioli: Super good fic detailing Miles finding out about all Phoenix’s past relationships.

parallelogram by zombiekittiez: Such a slay fic, has a strange premise at first BUT we get Shakespeare references so that’s a big plus.

All There Is by sunsmasher: Loved it. A really good look into Krisnix as a relationship and dealing with sexual trauma.

London, 2021 by syailendra: Has a lot of good moments. I come back to this one a lot. Has some Krisnix in it.

Sketched Memories by gen: LOVED THIS ONE. OBSESSED. You just gotta read it. It’s a recent one but VERY GOOD.

Archaeology by sunsmasher: Everyone eats pizza, and truamadumps. Just a typical day at the Wright Anything Agency.

Dancer In The Dark by klaviersimp: Ahhh, I love this fic a lot. It holds a special place in my heart. Little suggestive but I like it.

dig my nails into the wound by gavinnersworldtour: A very good Krisnix fic. Delicious. I love this one.

Temptation by crayoncompanion: An interesting one that I can’t help but really love.

Hot, Sticky, Sweet by mutxnts: A really good fic. I CRAVE a continuation but it’s a one-shot.

Sin. Eater by potatomin: A very good Demon!Miles and Angel!Phoenix fic. Makes you want more.

romance is not dead (if you keep it just yours) by Samioli: This one was just sweet. I liked it a lot.

just desserts by riskphee: YES. YES. Love this one. I still come back to read it.

Thrown Through A Loop by savitaraandsigh: Another time loop fic that I absolutely adore.

From The Top by lazynina: Another Time loop fic that I absolutely adore.

Bespoke by Demus: We love suit kinks.

That Goddamned Idiot That Is Phoenix Wright by fyrebyrd_fta

Kleptomania by Ekat

Working Hazard by lilacSkye

caught in the act by Samioli

I’ll Cover You by nerd4fandoms

my rapt heart by griffonage

Bad dream, good time by notlikelybutpossible

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Series:

7 years under the bridge: A series surrounding Phoenix’s fall and his relationships with Miles and Kristoph respectively.

7 year ache: Another series surrounding Phoenix’s fall and his relationships with Miles and Kristoph respectively.

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And that’s most of them! There’s definately more, but those are the ones that really made an impression on me and that I think about a lot (And also the ones I could find easily without having to check every one of my bookmarks) You can find more that way if you want though! By looking through my bookmarks on A3O that is. That’s what I do sometimes with other A3O members and it’s worked out well (Look for the Buddy Daddies fics in my bookmarks, that’s where most of them start but definitely check my bookmarks, there’s a couple good ones I can’t find at the moment that I know are in there). But I also recommend doing your own research too, it doesn’t seem like fun but when you end up finding one of the hidden gem fics it’s totally worth it.

Here’s some advice, buddy, try to start at the beginning, like go all the way down to the last folder on A3O, but maybe first search for an AA tag that you know will have a smaller fic pool and go from there. And when you find an author you like, try and check out if they have some other AA fics. Most of the writers of the fics I have recommended have more Ace Attorney fics in their arsenal that I’ve read and enjoyed and just didn’t wanna put on here, so check them out!

Btw Anon, if you want the more… Darker fics that I like (There aren’t many, but there’s a couple) DM me because I don’t wanna give those out publicly since it just makes me sorta uncomfy and I don’t want others to be uncomfy. This also goes for smuttier fics that I don’t feel like sharing at the moment.

Sorry if this was a lot Anon, I just love fanfiction, it’s definately one of the more interesting art forms out there, and think a lot of the ones I read deserve to be shared!

(Oh, also, I write fics too Anon. Check out my AA fic if you wanna. Sorry to self-promote but I promise it’s cute!!)

Anyway, that’s all! Goodnight everybody!

[knave-of-flowers]

more book 4 commentary now that i’m done

i absolutely adore qi ying. he’s up there with my other tgcf faves now. not only is he hilarious but he’s also relatable, and SO autistic. i’m looking at him like… yeah that’s what i would do. everyone is judging him for not being polite enough and whatnot, and i’m just like… yeah this guy has the right idea. social rules don’t make sense. more people should be like him, actually.

like even the social norms i do understand, i find frustrating and difficult to follow. i feel like he’s supposed to be someone who is childlike and innocent, but so far i’m just reading him as really fucking autistic. like for example i often haven’t understood innuendos, or at least taken a good while to get them. not because i’m innocent or a kid by any means, but because i take things very literally.

so far i feel a little frustrated at how he’s judged by others. like out of everyone so far, i definitely feel like i would get along best with him. he’s to the point and honest, he struggles to socialize but he seems like a really genuine guy. i hope i’m not misreading him lol. also i love his hair sm.

i haven’t gotten to the main plot with him but like i genuinely adore him and relate to him so much already. i have a feeling there’s gonna be sadness and tragedy with him that will deal with him being socially inept and i really hate that. i also have already seen hate about him and it’s upsetting me. i absolutely feel like he’s perceived the same way i am by others, except i’m not physically violent. but i do tend to lash out verbally when misunderstood or overwhelmed.

also he is a late teen/adult physically, right? like the age when he ascended. i know he’s treated as childish but i think he’s really pretty from the illustrations, and i want to make sure he’s not like… physically twelve, before i simp for him.

edit to add: the other reaction i’ve seen in the fandom is people uwuing about him, like “omgggg precious baby protect him :((( poor little thing :(((“ and i am not here for it, especially since he’s not an actual kid. like i saw someone calling him their favorite “acoustic” in a babying tone under some fanart (not on here).

have your own opinions, but that makes me so uncomfortable. not just for quan yizhen, but for any autistic or autistic coded character. again, i’m not here to police, especially because he’s represented as innocent and childish. but i probably will avoid anyone who speaks that way about autistic coded characters. it’s weird.

[whatiswritteninthestars]

My take on what’s been going on with the fandom regarding Melissa McBride. This will get me blocks I’m sure but you have to be careful who you trust. Listen to people but don’t think they are god. Even actors and showrunners have been known to embellish the truth. I do not believe for a second Melissa is being overrun and underminded. She already left the spinoff once and a lot was put in to getting her back on board. That’s not something AMC or Norman/Scott is going to jeopardize again. A lot of talk is going around about a pro Caryl showrunner and rumors of how the men are trying to block that from happening. For one if AMC wanted them they’ll sign them. They have the power over Scott. Another thing is they are not going to refuse to hire someone over their taste in ships. These are professional people who have done this job before.

Keep in mind about who you are getting the information from. If they use the line “you don’t have to believe me” chances are they aren’t being forthcoming. If they become aggressive when you don’t believe them chances are they aren’t being honest. This seems more about a fandom power play then it does as warning to Carylers to make a movement to AMC.

I’ve seen so much division in the Caryl fandom throughout several platforms. And it’s to much competition that often times makes it unbearable. There’s a few “leaders” who are constantly at odds with each other and fight for their place at fandom Queen. It’s childish and mean girl behavior.

FYI a true leader is someone who uplifts everyone regardless of how they feel about you. Not a dictatorship which some of you are guilty of. I’ve seen you guys shut down people and try to push them out of the fandom for having the same opinion earlier that you have now. So maybe think on that before you judge next time. None of us are ever 100 percent right all the time.

Some of you really need to let that high school mantra go. I don’t believe the ones being the loudest have any true connection to higher ups at AMC or the DD/BOC show. And I don’t believe Melissa is being strongholded. She is an EP and has a say in Carol’s story. AMC official accounts are using the Caryl hashtag. There’s a lot to look forward to. She’s been a part of the show from day one giving input and helping on and off screen even before she was an EP. Melissa was a huge part of season one even without the title. Actors have always raved about how she’s made them better and the same holds true with this show. So you all need to relax. Melissa is valued.

I can tell you this with certainty the one claiming to have this insider information is the same person who would dm a wide range of accounts that seemed to have information and beg them for whatever information they could. And when she got information she refused to share any. Which is what they are doing now. Talking about a female show runner but will not name names. Put your money where your mouth is if you think you have accurate information. And I will tell you this stalking and dming crew members or production members for a tid bit of information is not a source. It’s borderline harassment. You know who you are.

Now in closing this person also claimed that if Carylers were loud enough to AMC that the spinoff would not happen. Yes they were going to waste all that money or sets and contracts. Melissa was also already there when they were trying to make this movement lol. Stop acting like they are the Buddha to the Caryl fandom like you have no common sense and can’t function without them. There are many strong Caryl fans who don’t spread misery on a daily basis you can talk to. To calm your fears or just to talk about happier things to look forward to. These so called leaders seek out emotional people that they can control who are looking for guidance. This was once the greatest fandom in the land and could be again if we would break ties with the ones holding us down. So just think about that before being sucked down with the rest. Great things are coming. I promise you that.

[dewedup]

shallows beneath me (raindrop!reader)

The ripples that surround her feel like they are brushing her skin purposefully, rubbing and lingering instead of hitting and breaking away. Little rivulets dance across her stomach, gliding effortlessly from one side of her body to the other. She watches, mesmerized, as the water curls along her skin in a way that shouldn’t be physically possible.

Or

A beach day with the ghouls goes exactly how you think it would, thank Satan the band's assistant was gifted multiple holes.

Lightly inspired by the sunbathing sweaty ghouls origin story Hot Ghoul Summer by @high-imperatrix

18+ ONLY

Pairing: Raindrop x reader / Rain x reader / Dewdrop x reader

Fandom: The Band Ghost

Words: 4,033 (can we just take a second to commemorate this as my longest fic to date, i broke 4k words!)

Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Oral Sex, Water Sex, Double Penetration, Gillplay, Threesome F/M/M, Nipple Play, Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, no beta we die like Nihil, Dewdrop Is A Little Shit (Ghost Sweden Band)

Read below the cut or AO3 link

She was a little surprised by the invite from the ghouls. It was unbearably hot out, this whole week being a heatwave from Hell itself, and they’d asked her to join them for an afternoon out by the lake. The entire band was currently enjoying a well-deserved two-week break from tour, and sure she’s seen the ghouls around but it’s not the same as being forced into close proximity during the touring process. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss their company. 

Apparently, the feeling was mutual, considering Swiss almost beat down the door to her room to extend an invitation to join them. 

She took another glance at the mirror, observing the risqué bathing suit she had ordered online at the start of the summer, not having a reason to wear it since purchasing it. It exposed a little more than she was comfortable with, but she’d wanted to venture outside of her comfort zone with the yellow polka-dot bikini that had screamed her name on the website. She knew the ghouls wouldn’t judge her or poke fun, but her self-confidence was ebbing away with every second she spent in the mirror. With a sigh of distaste, she reached to the back of her closet door, grabbing the black sarong, and covering herself up as best she could. 

She made her way down the path to the lake, towel in one hand and a wide-brimmed sun hat protecting her face from UV rays. She perked up as the sound of music and laughter drifted to her ears, rounding the shrubbery to see the ghouls sprawled along the beach. Phantom had a speaker set up beside him, pop music blasting at an unholy level as the ghouls tried to shout over the 80’s pop song. Phantom waved as he saw her make her way to the group, reaching over to turn the music down slightly. 

“Look who decided to show up!” Dew yells, the beer bottle in his hand glistening with condensation. She squints through her sunglasses as she notices all the ghouls in their silver, day-to-day masks, instantly regretting agreeing to join them. 

“Guys, I forgot you’d have to keep your masks on with me around. It’s way too hot for that, I’m going to head back in-” she was cut off as Dew sprints to her, tackling her into the soft sand and wrapping a clawed hand over her mouth, hissing playfully. 

“We knew what we were getting into when we invited you, sugar.” Cirrus calls from her position underneath an umbrella, Cumulus’ head resting in her lap as she runs her fingers through the blonde curls. The rest of the ghouls all made sounds of agreement. Dew uses his grip on her to lift them both back to their feet, dusting some sand off her back. 

“Beer?” Swiss asks, already reaching into the cooler beside him. She barely finishes nodding her head before he’s tossing a bottle at her. Luckily Dew’s reflexes are lightening quick, snatching the bottle out of mid-air, raising it to his face and using his fangs to pop the top. He offers the beverage with a little bow, some of the ghouls cheering at the display. 

“Why thank you!” She replies with an overdramatic curtsey, accepting the drink, and taking a seat in an unoccupied lounge chair that Dew brings her over to. He sits in the one beside her, leaning back and stretching his long body. She’s never seen the ghouls lacking so much clothing. Their on-stage costumes or Abbey-regulated outfits are a staple. Sometimes catching them in loungewear during tours, but never in bathing suits.

Dew sits beside her, shirtless skin catching the sun’s rays with the glistening sweat on his body. His hair is piled into a lazy knot atop his head. He tosses a wink at her as she runs her eyes over his body, a flush staining her cheeks watching his lips pull into a smirk. 

The same lips that opened and serviced her in the sky a week ago. 

Her body temperature rises slightly, and it’s not due to the sun beating down on her. 

“Where’s Rain?” She questions, seeing every other ghoul present and accounted for on the beach. She assumes she’s taken his chair, noticing a discarded t-shirt and mask on the ground beside her. The thought of his bare face being somewhere within her vicinity starts a yearning in the pit of her stomach. It tastes slightly of desperation. 

“Somewhere out there,” Mountain gestures vaguely to the water with his head, not bothering to elaborate. Her eyes graze the surface of the water, seeing no sign of the ghoul in the blue abyss. 

Water ghouls, she thinks fondly as she smiles and returns to look at the group. 

The music beats comfortably around them as everyone relaxes. At one point Phantom and Aurora challenge each other to see who can go lower in the splits and she watches intently as they both show impressive feats of flexibility, the ghoulette taking the win as she starts bouncing lightly using her toes and heels. 

The sun is showing no signs of stopping. She’s almost uncomfortably hot at this point, wondering how the ghouls are still standing having come outside before her. She lifts a hand and fans at herself to no avail. Aether’s eyes catch the movement of her hand, and she grins back in acknowledgement.

“We’re from Hell.” He stresses the answer to her unasked question. She supposes it makes sense, this is probably just unseasonably hot for them and not boiling their blood from the inside like for her. “Why don’t you go take a dip in the water and cool off a little? I’m not going to break it to Papa if you turn into a puddle and can’t make it to the next leg of the tour.” 

She sticks her tongue out playfully at him but concedes that the water would do her some good. 

She raises up, undoing the cover she’d hastily put on last minute, instantly hearing catcalls come from Swiss and Dew who are shamelessly watching her make her way to the edge of the water. She can’t turn around, the blush covering her entire face, chest, and body burns. If she puts a little extra swing in her step, it’s solely for the eyes she can feel tracing her every move. 

The water splashes against her feet as she steps up to the shore, taking a few slow steps to acclimate to the chill of the liquid in contrast to the sun rays still beating down on her. When she gets up to her thighs, she raises her hands above her head and jumps forward, breaking the surface as she dives into the cool depths. The water surrounds her like a cool hug, brushing against her skin in a way not many other things can. 

She takes her time, swimming further out to a depth where she can no longer graze the floor of the lake with the tips of her toes. The sound of the music still reaches her ears, but she feels worlds away as she lifts her body to float weightlessly, the sun warming her front while the water cushions her like a soft bed. 

Something about the water changes around her. The ripples that surround her feel like they are brushing her skin purposefully, rubbing and lingering instead of hitting and breaking away. Little rivulets dance across her stomach, gliding effortlessly from one side of her body to the other. She watches, mesmerized, as the water curls along her skin in a way that shouldn’t be physically possible. 

“Look what Leviathan has brought me.” The whisper touches the shell of her ear, taunting lightly as she shivers under his attention. The statement, and their current positioning, with Rain’s head floating beside her shoulder, is reminiscent of their first encounter. She feels heat stirring between her legs as he nudges his way along her neck, lips brushing across the skin, chilled from the water he’s been scouring the whole time she’s been at the lake. 

“I was wondering what you had gotten up to.” She offers back, acutely aware of the fact that he is maskless and right there. In any other circumstance she wouldn’t hesitate to turn her head, to catch a glimpse of the unknown face that haunts her dreams. But he’s here, trusting her to play by the rules, showing his cards so plainly she can’t help but adhere to expectations. 

So even though she’d give anything to look at him, she remains painfully still, staring up at the sky. 

Rain’s presence clouds her mind. She forgets how to hold her body up and her legs slowly drop, treading water as the ghoul of its kind pushes up against her back, pressing his skin against hers. 

“I’ve got you,” he says so casually. She instantly follows his lead, letting her body relax even though she’s almost positive she’s about to sink below the surface. But Rain’s there, leaving little room between their bodies as something thin, yet strong, wraps around her waist. Her fingers travel below into the water, finding the place where she’s being anchored. Is that his tail?

Rain lets out a soft gasp as her fingers come in contact with the extremity, and she smiles wickedly as she clocks the reaction, moving her fingers along his tail to see if she can hit that spot again. Bingo, she thinks as Rain shudders behind her. No verbal cues this time, but she can feel the way his body reacts to her touch. 

“Close your eyes,” Rain commands, already moving her body around to face him as she slips them shut instantly at his words. She can’t see it coming, but his lips are on hers, pressing in with an urgency she gladly returns. She lets him devour her whole, trying her damndest to keep up with the way his tongue battles hers for dominance. They kiss for so long she starts to feel lightheaded; her brain being deprived of the oxygen it needs causing black spots to form beneath her closed eyes. She pulls back, gasping for air as she throws her arms around Rain’s neck, holding him while still keeping her distance to breathe in. Something flutters along her inner forearm, and she squirms at the feeling, eyes squinting hard with how much effort she exerts to fight the need to open them and see what’s brushing against her. 

Curiosity burns deep within her as she pushes closer again, finding Rain’s lips and kissing them fiercely while her hands come closer, moving to rest on the water ghoul’s neck. Her fingers graze the skin there, feeling the strong muscle underneath, until they run over something that doesn’t belong in her mental image. A gasp leaves her lips as she feels the soft tissue flutter beneath her fingers, air pushing out of the space she’s exploring. 

“Gills,” Rain interrupts her train of thought, pulling back so that he can assess the look on her face. She tries hard to school her surprise, knowing that while she can’t see it, she’s very much under scrutiny right now. It’s eerily quiet for a minute. She can feel Rain’s eyes burning into her, but she can’t look back, can’t do anything but wait to see what he does next. She starts to wonder if maybe he’s waiting on her to say something, and she blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

“Cool.”

The cringe is instant. She can feel her face scrunch up as she wishes Rain would loosen his grip on her with his tail and let her float to the bottom of the lake. She hears a chuckle from behind her and she whips her head around, cursing the fact that she doesn’t know if it’s safe to open her eyes. She wouldn’t betray Rain’s trust like that. 

“He told you he has gills and all you say is cool?” She’d recognize that voice anywhere, can picture the smirk on his lips as his hands come to rest on her hips from behind. 

“Dew,” Rain drawls. The warning is clear, but she can also detect the smile he’s wearing in his tone. “They are… cool.” Rain forces out. She’d like to think he’s trying to smile around the words, instead of scrunching his face, which is more likely. The chuckling fire ghoul behind her blows hot puffs of air on her neck as he tries to reign in his laughter. 

“How cool are they?” Dew fires back, his tongue meeting the back of her neck and running a trail up it. Rain’s tail flicks at her stomach, the sensations doubled by the fact that she can’t see anything. The word cool is starting to lose all meaning. She feels equal parts shame and turned on, the wandering hands trailing along her body helping push her to be a little bolder.

Her hands brush against the silky membrane of the gills, enjoying the feeling of it underneath her fingertips. She runs along the seams, feeling the water ghoul stiffen beneath her hands. The reaction gives her all the permission she needs to venture further, pushing in so very slightly, letting the gills encompass the tips of her fingers.

“Enough,” Rain commands, his hands suddenly wrapping around her wrists, gripping firmly but not too tightly, a warning. “They’re sensitive, I wouldn’t want to spoil the fun I have planned.” He elaborates, leaving her hands to rest on his shoulders as he plunges forward, lips meeting her neck in small nips and licks. 

“You wanna see a trick, doll?” Dew’s voice is in her ear, both ghouls worshipping her body as she floats, gripping onto Rain for dear life. She’s humming confirmation and nodding, not trusting her voice as fangs scrape the delicate skin of her throat, dragging lightly along it. She doesn’t even know who the fangs belong to anymore, Rain and Dew working her skin like it’s a choreographed dance, picking up where the other left off and never leaving her wanting more. 

Claws ghost down her sides as she feels lips pressing against her skin under the cover of the water. Her hands follow the movement from where she still has them on Rain’s shoulders, feeling him sink deeper until he’s at her waist. The claws come up and carefully tug at the strings on either side of her bathing suit bottoms, soon leaving her bare to the chilly water of the lake. 

Dew must feel the shiver down her spine at the cold, for suddenly a warmth is spreading around the surrounding water. At least, she hopes it’s his fire ghoul magick and not the other thing she can think of. A gasp leaves her lips as the claws underwater grip her thighs, spreading them wide and letting them rest on his shoulders, her hands traveling higher and digging into Rain’s hair. There’s a pause, a second where she feels like he’s waiting for some kind of green light, unable to voice his question under the water as he is. She makes her needs loud and clear, using the grip on his hair to pull him flush against her, moaning as he doesn’t hesitate to start licking into her folds with a barely concealed hunger. 

“Yeah, I thought you’d like that one.” Dew remarks cockily, his own hands slipping underneath her top and fondling her breasts as he bites down hard where her neck meets her shoulder. Another strangled moan pushes its way past her lips, her hips bucking into Rain’s mouth as Dew continues to tease her. Fuck, she thinks. This is the hottest thing I’ve ever been a part of. Even if she could see, it would simply be too much all at once. Maybe keeping her eyes closed is the only thing tethering her to the last shred of sanity in her mind. 

“Fuck!” She shouts, Dew’s hand shooting up to cover her mouth as more unintelligible garble comes out as Rain bites down lightly on her clit. Her grip on his hair tightens to what must be a painful level, pushing him further into her as she rubs her hips up and down along his tongue, fucking his face like it’s the only thing she was put on this earth to do. 

“Yes, take what you need baby.” Dew hisses encouragingly, using the hand not covering her mouth to flick viciously at her hard nipple. The scream she lets out dies on Dew’s hand as she clenches around nothing, the slick of her release disappearing into the water surrounding her as Rain continues to coax her through her orgasm with his tongue. 

Her thoughts are in shambles, the exhilaration of coming so hard in such close vicinity to the other ghouls, the idea of them hearing her cries of pleasure… She clenches again, overstimulation causing her entire body to shake with how insanely turned on she is. The sound of Rain breaking the water in front of her grounds her slightly, pulling her head from the clouds she had floated to upon her release. 

“You taste even better straight from the source,” Rain growls, his lips encompassing hers again as she tastes herself on his tongue. The flashback of Rain licking her juices from Dew’s fingers on their most recent flight hits like a train, her eyes rolling into the back of her head beneath her closed lids. 

“Need you.” She breaks apart from Rain to breathe out in a whiney tone, one hand reaching back to cradle Dew’s head while the other stays firmly tangled in Rain’s hair. “Both. Need you both.” She adds, in case her words were interpreted in any other, incorrect way. 

“Thought you’d never ask,” Dew groans, pushing his erection into the plump skin of her ass as he rubs himself against her. She doesn’t know how to voice what she wants, knows exactly what she’s after but is unsure how to ask for it. She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, worrying it as she reaches for the right words. 

“At the same time?” It comes out more as a question, unlike the demand she was hoping to make. The second of silence, and the fact that she can’t see their expressions, lingers too long to be comfortable. Her cheeks flush in shame, the need to escape for her own self-preservation. 

“Unholy shit,” Rain breathes. The growl in his words strikes a chord deep within her, pulling the strings in her stomach taunt. She has to swallow back a groan at the sound. 

“Are you sure, doll?” Dew asks from behind, but she can tell he likes the idea from the way his hips stutter in their attempt to rub a home into her ass cheek. Both ghouls shuffle slightly, pulling her back toward the shore, where her toes can brush the floor of the lake. “We can go slow, but it might be a lot to handle.” 

“I’m sure.” She confirms sternly, already knowing she won’t know peace until she has them both where she wants them, pushing her to the limit and then spilling over the edge. 

“Fuck, Rain you’ve got to go- shit you’ve gotta go first, I’m not going to last long in there.” Dew acknowledges, his cock running up the cleft of her ass, rubbing without applying any pressure. It’s been ages since she’s had someone visit through the backdoor, but there isn’t a single bone in her body that isn’t down for what’s about to happen. 

“Yeah, fuck-alright.” Rain bites out, wrapping his hands around her thighs once again and lifting her so that she can settle comfortably wrapped around his hips. She feels his cock pressing against her and angles her hips, trying to trap him in her soft, warm heat. She hits the mark, and he sinks deep into her cunt, filling her so completely she can’t help the sigh that tumbles from her lips. He rocks gently, giving her time to adjust to his size as he starts to build a pace, the water rippling from the bouncing movements as Rain guides her up and down on his stiff cock. 

“Last chance to back out,” Dew taunts behind her, the head of his dick pushing experimentally at her tight hole. She clenches unintentionally, a strangled moan coming from the water ghoul in front of her. 

“If it’s too much for you, you can still crawl back to shore with your tail between your legs.” She doesn’t know what comes over her, probably the adrenaline from their current predicament. The fire ghoul snarls lightly, rising to the challenge as he pushes in slowly, but surely. Rain pauses his own movements as he waits for the other ghoul to find his place. She doesn’t know what to do, impaled on the two of them, her body locking as she feels Dew break into a long-forgotten entrance. 

“Relax,” Dew hisses, his breathing heavy as he fights the urge to fuck her into the next year, simultaneously being squeezed within an inch of his life. She keens forward, clenching Rain’s shoulders as she tries desperately to loosen her muscles and allow the intrusion. Dew lets out a hollowed-out groan as he finally slams home, his body vibrating with the need to move but allowing her a chance to ground herself. 

Everyone’s frozen, no one moving as they wait with bated breath to see who dives in first. She’s fucked out and filled the most she’s ever been, but she needs more, craves more.

“I swear to Satan, if one of you doesn’t start moving right fucking now.” She spits, her hips moving just the slightest bit, and it seems to spark them both into action. They alternate pumps, her eyes crossing at the foreign sensation. She feels helpless, letting the ghouls take over the work as she becomes boneless, flopping her head down onto Rain’s shoulders as her body slumps. 

Dew picks up the pace, fucking into her like it’s the last thing he’ll do. His own thrusts bounce her up and down Rain’s cock, though the water ghoul doesn’t sit idle by, rotating his hips and trying to bury himself as deep inside her pussy as he can get. 

She knows it’d be impossible to take both their knots like this, that it would quite literally split her in two, but she can’t help but fantasize about it. Think about the way they’d be locked together for quite some time, stuck between the two ghouls who followed her into this murky water with the sole purpose of fucking her. 

Another thought of their knots has her bearing down, pulling moans from both ghouls as their hips stutter through her muscles tightening. 

“Tell me you’re close,” Rain begs, his hips moving erratically as he tries to move back into a rhythm. She’s unsure if he’s talking to her or Dew, but she groans in agreement either way. 

“C’mere,” Dew’s voice is in her ear. She tries hard to focus on the sound, the way it trembles slightly along the word. She feels Rain lean forward and listens to the sound of the ghouls kissing sloppily beside her. She lets out a high-pitched whine, wishing desperately she could crack an eye, just to catch a glimpse of what she’s sure would be a frequent thought during her highlight reel. 

A hand touches her chin, pushing her face to the side and suddenly she’s in the middle of the kiss, both ghouls pressing against her lips enticingly until she lets out her tongue. It’s unbearably hot, the way all three of them caress each other. 

And that’s how they come, groaning into each other’s mouths as they both fill her with their seed. Stars sparkle beneath her eyelids as she comes so hard. She can feel a tingle from her head down to her toes. The moan she lets out is filthy, sinful, and loud. If there was any doubt about what they were getting up to prior to this, she’s sure the other ghouls are now painfully aware of how depraved she is. 

[stevebabey]

I just read your x reader post (and the anon response to it) and good Lord you are right. I read your whole rant and I felt it in my bones!!

I've been in this damn app for over 10 years, and written for almost as many fandoms, and I'll say that the x reader tag has NEVER been this bad. It's not just st, it's nearly all of the ones I've seen and it's just gone down hill. It's really so fucking sad.

I was huge in the SVU fandom, and there were So! Many! Writers! We all reblogged eachothers fics and not everything had to be about sex to get notes! We LOVED when reader kissed the character for the first time because we understood that it was the yearning, the 'Oh God finally I'm having you' and not all about just fucking! God now even the most hastly written, shitty smut gets thousands of notes just because it's smut. It's so fucking disheartening. I've written a few things for st (one of which is the piece I'm most proud of, ever) and it got like, 100 notes on here. That's it, but I swear some 'popular' writers get so much traction just because they write smut poorly.

And not to sound like a boomer (cause I'm not a SWEAR) but the tik tok-ification of fandom and fanfic is ruining it! The lack of reading comprehension, the fact that reader has to be as description-less as possible or else "its not realalistic, I'd never do that, etc etc" makes me wanna rip my skin off. Fanfic used to be an outlet for so many people but the way its treated now makes it near unbearable.

(I'm so sorry I went on a rant you don't have to post this but just know that I agree with you 110%)

RANT! RANT! RANT! i’m so happy to hear people’s rant, i talk about these issues a lot with friends in dms and it’s very vindicating to hear it’s something that has bugged and annoyed more people than just me !

yes omg the way x reader fics have shifted over the last 10 years is INSANE— hearing that it’s not just stranger things unfortunately doesn’t make me feel much better lmao

i’ve picked this fight before back when i was in the spidey fandom because of this EXACT reason — where i was like hey…… sometimes things that have more notes….. are worse - because people have this insane thing where they will judge a fic? based on? its notes? and its like buddy how do u think a fic gets ANY notes if you act like that. truly its the worst, writers that are already big just keep getting boosted (even if they just write characters nasty fucking which is! ur prerogative! but it shouldnt be SUCH a factor in being popular/getting your fics read)

i’m not pointing fingers but yes i know a couple blogs that get HYPED because they both A) write smut constantly and B) write fast. and isn’t that just such a kicker if you can’t and don’t want to do those things? like even though it means nothing, there is no correlation between writing slow = bad writing, this site reflects that SO much because they never give that shit the notes it deserves

tiktok-ification god ur so right. it’s the way the mindset has shifted from these being wips, writing, pieces that you develop into instead content. consumable content. there’s such a disconnect between people that read shit tons of fic and the realisation that it’s produced by a person. they just hit the like button and go on anon to ask for an update and it’s like buddy it can’t work that way! the same way u like to read fic, writers want validation and engagement and questions and motivation!!! talk about biting the hand that feeds you 😭

[grabs ur shoulders and presses our foreheads together] we’re not crazy. it used to be better and we can make it better in time <3

[folkloristico]

May I return the favor? 🤭 4, 6, 7, 22, 24, and 77 for the writing asks!

Thank you for the ask!

Let’s see…

4. How do you choose which fics to write?

I have a document—sorted by fandoms—where I keep track of all the ideas I come up with so I don’t ever forget them. From there, it’s just a matter of where inspiration leads me; I’ve realised I’m more inclined to write on the spur of the moment than to make plans and stick to them. It’s a bit problematic because I have too many WIPs, so it can take me a long time to finish one, but hey, at least it gets finished… eventually.

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

Under a certain number, all ages kind of blurred together in her mind, and Griffin had not yet stopped to think of the princess as a child; the way Faragonda and the others talked about her did not help to mitigate this image.

7. Post a snippet from a WIP.

Their surroundings shimmered like the faint memory of a dream, and they were in the library once more. Seen like this, in such stark contrast to the crumbling ruins of its truest version, the view left Bloom transfixed; but there was little past the illusion. The borders to the far corners were blurry, and no sound could be detected. The air smelled like nothing at all. Daphne might not be dead after all—but what else was this, if not even worse a fate? “Have you really been staying here alone?” Bloom forced herself to look Daphne in the eyes. “All of this time?” Daphne gave a faint shake of her head. “Not quite. I’m barely aware of what’s happening. I’m… too weak to remain present. I feel the strongest when you’re close by.” “Because of the Dragon Flame?” “Our family’s power, yes.” Bloom faltered, averted her eyes. “Forgive me,” Daphne said swiftly. “I know it must be strange for you.” “No—” Bloom trailed off. A thought occurred to her, and she surveyed the room once more as if it had suddenly changed. “You can’t hear my mind in here—can you?” Daphne gave a laugh. It was a gentle sound, the most alive thing there was about her. “It doesn’t work like that. We share a link, is all. And—I’m a pretty good judge of character, if I may say so myself.” 

Daphne angst + library mentioned <3

And I must say, I’m really enjoying writing Bloom now! 

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Honestly, I do anything my brain tells me to do. Sometimes I start writing a fic and the title comes to me shortly thereafter; some other time I even build an idea around a title. But other times I’ve changed the name of an already posted story on a whim, because I really can’t make up my mind. If I’m really struggling with the title, I skim through a bunch of lyrics of my favourite songs until something comes up. I think at least ten of my WIPs are named after a Hozier or Florence song.

24. How do you choose whose POV to write in?

The most important thing to me when choosing a POV is asking myself: What am I trying to achieve with this chapter, and which POV would benefit the most?

For instance, I have this canon-divergent WIP from season 2 that focuses on Diaspro and Bloom while they’re being held prisoner by Darkar. Something happens in the first chapter that only Bloom can be a witness of—the Dragon Flame being the reason why. Long story short, she’s ‘trapped’ in her own head—it’s Daphne that helps her break free—so I’m using Diaspro to show what’s happening during the time Bloom isn’t awake. After that, the story becomes more Diaspro-focused, and there would be no reason to switch to Bloom’s POV once more. In another WIP of mine, not Winx related, a character is keeping a secret from the others, and I’ve decided to switch to her only when that secret is revealed. I try to at best have a vague outline before jumping on the writing phase of a longfic, and I quite enjoy the phase where I’m figuring out the best way to mess with the POVs.

If we’re discussing first person vs third person, in fanfiction I will always favour third person over first. I might consider writing in first person if it’s the same POV the book is written in, but generally speaking, I find first-person very off-putting in fanfiction because the characters have a pre-established voice, and it’s quite hard to grasp. However, I disagree with the general sentiment that first person is bad even outside of fanfiction; most of my favourite books ever are written in first person.

77. Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

Because once I get an idea stuck in my mind, I can’t get rid of it unless I write it down. It’s like, I don’t know, setting the silly guys in your head free. I love writing, and fanfiction allows you to do so without the stress of striving for perfection or focusing too much on what other people will think. 

[sustainably-du-mortain]

Campfire woes

Fandom: The Wayhaven Chronicles Characters: Adam du Mortain & detective (Raziela Jakowlewna) Word count: 2k A/N: here's my contribution to the @wayhavenficexchange. @hypnostanatos I had so much fun trying to figure out Raziela and hope I did them justice. I couldn't resist going with implied polyam Adam x Raziela x Mason, so I hope you'll enjoy this!

Raziela has only been away for a few minutes, yet when she steps back into Tina’s garden, the scene she gazes upon is completely different from the one she had witnessed all evening.

Earlier this week, the newly appointed detective invited Raziela and the team for a dinner around the campfire. Surprisingly, it didn’t take much to convince Adam to let the team attend the party. 

Their host is currently in the kitchen, clearing up the dishes, with Verda and Agent Pierson, whom Raziela had barely managed to avoid when coming out of the bathroom. Nat is sitting across from her, on the other side of the bonfire, speaking with Verda’s husband. She can’t hear what they’re talking about over the crackling of the fire, but judging by the way Eric’s hands are moving as he speaks, and knowing Nat’s enthusiasm for all kinds of subjects, this must be an interesting conversation. Farah is nowhere to be seen, but judging by the fits of laughter and screams following the sounds of water splashing, Raziela can easily guess that she has taken Verda and Eric’s daughters to the lake. Mason has also disappeared. She saw him walk away into the surrounding woods, the red glow of a cigarette hanging upon his lips following him. He hasn’t reappeared since.

Seeing that she has some time left before the rest of the party gathers back around the campfire, Raziela takes out the book she brought along - a collection of horror short-stories she had been saving for a gloomy autumn day. Yet, when Adam sits next to her a few minutes later, she hasn’t made it past the first sentence of the first short-story, reading it over and over again without being able to focus on it.

“Where have you been?” She asks without looking up.

“I was just making sure Farah is not letting your friends’ children too close to the water…”

Raziela snorts. “You know, you should give her a little more credit. She’s great at looking after me, and I’m way more insufferable than Verda’s kids.”

She’s not sure whether or not she should be offended over the fact that Adam takes a moment to debate whether he should agree or pretend that he doesn’t but, in true Adam fashion, he doesn’t spare her feelings. “You really are insufferable”

At least he has the decency to hold back a laugh when she gasps, feigning to be offended. She cannot resist teasing him back.

 “She’s better with kids than you are, anyways-” she quips, deliberately marking a pause to gauge his reaction. He barely manages to hide a frown before she adds, “-so, leave her be.”

“I also went to look for Mason but couldn’t find him.” Adam says before silence can settle between them. She replies with a nod.

She can understand why Mason left. This whole party. The noises and scents coming from the bonfire. The smell of grilled meat and vegetables tainting the air. The mingled conversations and Verda’s daughters being their noisy selves. This can be a lot to deal with. She’s already struggling with it, so she can’t imagine what it must be like with heightened senses. So, she assumed he needed a break and would come back when he was ready.

Adam’s voice breaks her out of her own thoughts. “Horror stories? Really?”

“This is Tina’s doing. According to her, ‘campfire parties suck without scary stories’. I think she forgot to take into account the fact that there would be kids at her party.”

Adam laughs. It’s an actual laugh, not a repressed one, nor a snort. She cannot help but chuckle at the unexpected reaction.

Noticing that he seems to be in a good mood, she ventures to ask the question that’s been eating her up all evening. “You know, I think this is the first time I’ve seen you eat actual human food. I thought Nat was the only one who liked it.”

“She is, but we can’t risk your friends getting suspicious over our behavior. So we had to eat.”

“You say this as if your daily behavior isn’t the most suspicious thing ever.”

“We are not suspicious. We are professionals!” Raziela watches as Adam tries not to lose his cool.

“Professionals who often let a ‘you, humans’ slip in a conversation. Not to mention that one of us is absolutely shit with technology. Come on, I’m bad with it, but Nat is on another level. Even the local elders do better than her with a computer.” Seeing Adam’s frown deepen, she decides to stop before her comments actually get on his nerves. “Anyways, I really appreciate the effort you all put in, coming to dinner with me. You didn’t have to.”

“Of course, we did.” For a moment, she lets herself hope that he really did this for her, but then he adds: “We have to spend time with your friends if we do not want our cover to be blown away.”

She feels so stupid. It was obvious that was the sole reason they came. She should have known when he immediately agreed to come. They can’t risk having their secret uncovered because of her.

“You know I could have covered for you to, at least, avoid the dinner.” She says, trying her best to conceal her disappointment. “Although, it would have meant missing out on the hilarious grimaces you and Farah made, trying to act like this was the best food you’ve ever had. You’re lucky Tina knows about you, or she would have been offended. You’ll also have to thank Nat because she managed to keep Verda and Eric distracted long enough for them not to notice what was going on.”

“Cover for us?” Adam ignores the whole part about him and Farah making faces and asks, “What lie could you have possibly told them that would have given us a pass on this dinner?”

“That you guys were on patrol and would join later.” Raziela has to hold back a laugh as Adam’s mouth opens and closes multiple times without a single word coming out. Tears well in her eyes at his dumbfounded expressions when he realizes that this simple lie could have gotten them out of the awful dinner they had to go through. This is the most hilarious thing she has seen in a while. “It looked like you guys drew straws before coming to decide who would get to use the ‘I’m feeling sick’ card Mason played tonight.” 

The loud silence that follows her observation tells her she is spot on and she has to pinch herself not to bark out a laugh.

“You guys really are bad liars for people who work in a secret agency.”

“We wouldn’t have to lie if it weren’t for you.” Adam retorts. His words feel like knives and she winces at his sharp tone. As he doesn’t seem to notice how cutting his words are, she can’t help but wonder if he’s doing it on purpose.

For a moment, she thinks that he’s going to walk away, just like he has been doing for the past weeks anytime he throws a hurtful jab her way. Yet, this time, he stays and a tense silence settles between them. She doesn’t know how to bring up the conversation, damn, she doesn’t even know what this is about. 

So, she just sits there and considers picking her book back up, but that would only set back whatever discussion they need to have. Instead, she chooses to glare at Adam, realizing that this might be the only way to get him to talk. 

He stares back and she wonders if she opted for the wrong option until, after a long silence, he finally speaks.

“I’m sorry…” 

She waits for something more. She waits for him to explain why they can’t seem to spend more than five minutes in the same room without him spewing scorching comments her way. She waits for him to explain what has changed between them. But only silence meets her.

“No…” she sighs. “You don’t get to do that! You don’t get to apologize and leave me hanging there without a single clue as to why you’re acting that way!” She stops. Her voice had come out a little louder than she expected, catching Nat and Eric’s attention. “I thought we were past that. I thought that our lengthy bickering session had brought us closer…I thought we were friends.” She confesses under her breath, ignoring Nat and Eric’s gaze still turned towards them.

“We are.”

“Are we, really? Because, lately,  you’ve been making it sound like hanging out with me is nothing more than some sort of work obligation, Adam!”

“Raziela…” 

He has that pitiful look on his face, which she rarely sees, and she hates being on the receiving end of it. Not sure she wants to have that conversation after all, she makes to leave, when he grabs onto her wrist.

“I like you.”

“What!?” She flops down on her seat, thinking she misunderstood.

“I like you.” He repeats, before quickly adding, “Not romantically. There’s nothing like that between us, but I do really like you. As a friend. The same way I like Nat; although it seems to be a little different this time.” He rubs the back of his neck, looking a bit sheepish, not a word she ever thought of using to describe Adam.

“Wait a minute. I need to make sure I understand. You’re saying that you like me as a friend?” He nods. “Okay, now I’m lost. Why have you been acting like an asshole then?”

“It’s just that people don’t usually grow on me that fast.” He doesn’t even seem to notice the fact that Raziela called him an asshole.

“So, what? You panicked?”

“Yes… Not even Nat has ever managed to chip away at me this fast, so I guess I got scared, in a way.”

“Why? I mean, we’re just friends.” There’s a hint of hesitation in her voice as she says those words, because even she knows that the bond they’ve managed to create, over so little time, goes beyond that. She just never took the time to think about it.

“Because I’ve grown to care for you. Deeply.”

She thinks about all the little things she pretended not to notice, like the way he often seemed almost as worried as Mason whenever she got hurt. How he started looking for her approval, even for mundane things. The way they stopped arguing as often as they did in the beginning. How their quiet hanging out session had turned less boring and became moments to unwind in each other’s presence.

A sense of quiet overtakes Raziela as she reminisces about all the time they’ve spent together and how their relationship has evolved and, suddenly, she understands what he means because she feels the same way towards him. She enjoys the way they understand each other without having to talk. She loves knowing that she can confide in Adam without fearing like he’s going to judge her for anything she says and she loves that he feels comfortable enough around her to do the same.

So, she understands when he says that he likes her and that there isn’t anything romantic between them. He’s not attracted to her and neither is she attracted to him. Oh, he’s good looking, there’s no denying that. Tina would call her a fool if she did. He’s very dear to her, and with his confession, she now also knows that he has a soft spot for her. It’s just that those things don’t come into play when she thinks about Adam and the relationship they share and that is the main difference from what she shares with Mason.

 Before she can say anything, Verda’s voice echoes from the kitchen.

“Tina, please be careful!” He’s following her closely as steps out of the French doors, carrying a cake which precariously slides on the glass stand Verda lent her. 

Adam quickly moves to another seat, resuming their conversation but that might be for the best. 

Right now, she feels like he has opened Pandora's box and she’s not quite sure she’s ready to deal with it, just yet. So, in the meantime, she’ll keep calling Adam her best friend.

[reversemoon255]

5th Review - Gundam the Witch from Mercury

I’ve probably said this before in a Gunpla review, but I was really looking forward to G-Witch. I’m always a fan of when a series shakes up the usual cast tropes, even if it’s just costume colors, so Gundam doing their first show with a female lead was very exciting. And judging by a lot of the reactions I’ve seen, many Gundam fans and many new viewers from outside the fandom enjoyed the shift as well. Now, as someone very familiar with the Gundam meta-series, it’s not my favorite. I’d say it’s probably fourth? Which is still high on the list, but it does lack a few things I usually look for. However, characters and story are areas where it excels, so let’s get into my thoughts on them.

The Good: Despite some of the overall complexities of the plot, mostly involving the business and political side of things, it was fairly easy to follow. The story usually followed either Suletta, Miorine, or Guel, with many other smaller side-plots and check-ins with other characters throughout. It was also constantly shifting, never sticking to a status quo for too long, while simultaneously juggling a great deal of foreshadowing and character moments. Considering quite a few Gundam series have very rushed endings, and G-Reco’s pacing specifically has issues, the fact that G-Witch’s writing is so tight and well-balanced is a testament to how much care was put into it. It also doesn’t feel like “Everyone lived because they were popular and we rewrote it;” it felt like this was the plan from the start and they didn’t alter things due to fan reactions.

Moving onto our main characters, Suletta actually felt like our main character. I say that because several previous pilots (like Mika and Setsuna) have played second fiddle to more extroverted co-stars, such as Miorine, and having her hold her own in the spotlight is a good show of Gundam evolving as a meta-franchise. As a character, Suletta starts out very timid and slowly becomes more confident. As one of the main themes of the show is the relationship between parent and child, Suletta’s is simultaneously the best and the worst, as her mother is the only one who actively tries to help and praise her, but is also by far the most manipulative.

Speaking of her co-star, while Suletta handles the piloting for this series, Miorine takes the brunt of the more complex stories. She balances her time, importance, and relationship with Suletta better than some of the aforementioned teams I’ve mentioned, possibly due to the two of them being in a relationship themselves. She’s stern, stoic, and generally unfriendly at the start, but grows to be more open during the show’s run. On the note of parents, her father probably cares about her the most of the MC parents, doing everything he can to protect her from behind the scenes, but comparatively is very bad at showing any affection without a bullet in him. Also, it’s amusing how, as the more she tries to protect Suletta from her mother, the more she acts like her.

Guel is arguably the third main character this series, having a significant amount of screen time, and having dynamics with both Suletta and Miorine, not just one of them like some other characters. He starts episode 1 very coarse and aggressive, but we learn extremely quickly that his actions are more him trying to please his father above his own wants. The speed at which you go from disliking to liking Guel (something the show is surprisingly good at both ways) is very quick; by the end of episode 3 you already know he’s a good guy. Speaking of his father, he’s one of the (shockingly) very few character deaths we get this season. His impact on Guel is less that of his character and more of Guel trying to live up to his legacy and expectations. He was also outwardly the worst of the parents, but shows he does genuinely care about his kids in his final moments, caring more that he found his son than anything else.

Next are the Elans, who probably fit the mold the least of any of the characters, there being 3 of them aside. Unlike the rest of our main characters, none of the Elans really have any family. Elan 4 barely remembers his, Elan 5 had Dr. Winston but their relationship is much more generic than that of parent and child, and Elan Prime has the Peil co-CEOs but again their relationship is too generic or underdeveloped to classify it as parental. The only significant relationship formed by any of the Elans (apart from Suletta) is Elan 5 and Norea’s brief spat. But perhaps not having a family is exactly where he slots into the theme. Anyway, Elan 4 and Elan 5, though very different, both follow a similar developmental path (though one clearly took longer than the other). They both start off entirely devoted to their job/survival, and after meeting a girl they find similar to themselves, open up and start considering things greater than themselves. Granted, Elan 5 never loses his snark, but you can tell he’s well meaning.

And the last main character is Shaddiq. He plays the villain for most of the series, but a very charismatic one. As the villain, he doesn’t really change all that much compared to the other characters, being the most straight-forward and goal-oriented of everyone. He also flips the parent-child relationship on its head, being the only child to actively manipulate their parent and other characters like the other MC parents do. His character almost stands as a mirror to everyone else's.

As for any other random positive anecdotes I have about the series:

I’m not really talking about side characters (it would take way too long), but I really like Chu-Chu. She’s great and I like how she simultaneously does and does not grow.

My favorite moment is when Guel does the very anime tropey Sword-VS-Hug, and his kouhai shows up with a fire extinguisher and tells him he’s not cool.

I’m always a fan of a happy ending.

The Bad: I’m very much a Gundam mechanics person. It’s why I love series like 00, Build, and other things like Knights & Magic. And for a series all about Gundams, the Gundams are kinda boring. I was initially very excited about Aerial, with it having its offensive Bit Mode, its defensive Shield Mode, and its performance based Bit-On Form. I was really hoping Aerial’s evolution would be similar to something like G-Self or Core Gundam Rize, where it would get different Bit configurations that result in different big accessories and Bio-On Forms. Instead we got Rebuild, who was all, like, “let’s put all the bits on a big gun!” It’s weirdly more uninteresting than regular Aerial, especially since the gun was rarely used, and the Bit-On form was super underplayed. The other MS aren’t much better, just recycling ideas from UC, X, and Turn-A, and giving them a mix of 00 and G-Reco’s aesthetics. I will give credit to Swarzette for being a more interesting Rebuild, changing the shield to a sword and having multiple Bit-On configurations, but it was barely in the show. Same with the Demi Barding, having a lot of cool elements, but having almost no screen time. This was very much a character story, and the machines suffered for it.

Also, Prologue should have been the first episode. While it was cute to release it early as a teaser for the series, there are several moments, including a huge chunk of the ending, that hinge upon you having seen Prologue. It also serves to further explain Prospera’s motivations (who is, BTW, my least favorite character and the sole reason I paused watching the series until it was finished), as well as set up several other characters and plot elements that come to fruition near the back quarter of the show.

I thought about it for a few hours; this may be the best written season of Gundam, yet why don’t I like it more? And the conclusion I came to is: it’s super depressing. I was very much reminded of Citrus (a series I hate yet have simultaneously read all of), where it always ends on a negative cliffhanger to draw you into the next episode/chapter. The balance of positive to negative moments and interactions in the show is heavily skewed, and if you’ve read any of my other series reviews, you’ll know I really appreciate positivity in shows and characters.

Overall, I stand by that G-Witch is the best written Gundam series to date, but its overall depressing tone and lack of interesting mechanics keeps it from dethroning my top picks. However, I would still put it in my top 5, and am very glad Gundam chose to go outside its comfort zone to give us this very different season.

[amethystina]

I just watched episode 1 of Devil Judge and I am not dissapointed! 😊

The whole world and setting are very fascinating. That trial did look like a real TV show (something that doesn't seem so far fetched to be in our world, a bit like people online are already condemming other people really)

Oh man, that end scene with Kang Yo Hang yawning and THEN letting that one tear fall down his cheek..... 😮😮😮Yeah, he's not a good person at all......

Kim Ga On looks like a sweet little puppy at this point. A bit naive even? But he's also strong enough to ask questions and raise his concerns to Kang, I find that fascinating!

(Also, the moment where Kang pushes Kim against the bookcase and then takes a bit too long to remove his hand as he talks about Kim being single and mentioning his shirt..... That was INTENSE)

Glad to have you on board ;)

And yeah, I very much like the world they've set up. It feels quite like our own, but still different enough that you can accept if some things are a bit weird — like the Live Court Show. Because while I agree that, in many ways, it just feels like an extension of all the condemning we already do as a society, it IS still pretty farfetched. But, man, does it make for a fun plot!

Trying to figure out the puzzle that is Kang Yo Han was literally one of the most entertaining parts of the drama for me. Like, is he a villain? An anti-hero? Both? Neither? They keep you guessing, that's for sure and it was one hell of a ride, at least for me.

And, in a similar fashion, Ga On isn't quite as simple as he seems, either. While he's very kind-hearted and perhaps a little bit naïve at first, he is also very clever and strong-willed. And very determined to figure out what the heck Yo Han is up to. And I truly adore that about Ga On. It would have been so easy to make him into a soft, gentle, and ultimately rather weak character, but no. While he might cook you a five-course dinner one evening, he's still going to punch you in the face the following one, should you piss him off too much. I like that about him.

Aaaaaand yeah. The bookshelf.

Fun fact: when I started watching this drama, I knew absolutely nothing about it aside from having seen the poster. As in this one:

And, not going to lie, it gave me pause because, uh, guys. That's kinda gay.

But then I saw it was a Korean drama and went: "Oh, well, not gay then. But someone at the marketing department DEFINITELY had a fun day at work."

Point being, anyway, that I decided to watch The Devil Judge because I was looking for something that WASN'T gay. I'd been bingeing a lot of those shows and just wanted a bit of a reset. So I went: "Oh, hey, this Korean show about corruption in a dystopian society definitely won't be gay. Let's give that a try!"

The Devil Judge: "... so about that..."

And, like, I could explain away Yo Han's lack of respect for personal space during their first meeting as an intimidation thing, and all of their verbal arguments made sense due to their differences in morals etc. But then the bookshelf scene happened and I just sat there going:

"... hang on a fucking second. Am I watching a gay show?"

Spoiler alert: I was.

I mean, sure, it's not officially gay. But it definitely is gay all the same. The subtext is about as subtle as the sub himself — i.e. will punch you square in the face more than once, with little to no warning.

BUT YEAH. Enjoy the ride? But also — and I will not stop repeating this — you give me way, way too much power over your media intake, darling x'D And, as I've stated to my followers before:

With great power comes great responsibility and, when it comes to The Devil Judge, I’m about as responsible as Kang Yo Han. That’s to say, you’re all fucked.

But thank you for joining me in this pit of sin also known as The Devil Judge fandom. Where the sugar babies are cheeky and the sugar daddies are, occasionally, manipulative mass murderers.

Whoops?

[bookofmirth]

Sorry, but I don’t agree with “TBH I think that Nesta still has work to do because a few actions don't make up for a lifetime of cruelty.”

Mostly on the basis that we don’t know what their history is. We can’t judge her “lifetime” based on 4 chapters of the book. Especially when SJM is so inconsistent about her storylines (like the whole Feyre can’t read thing).

I think your referring mostly to the fact that Nesta needs to atone for what she has said to Feyre, but their relationship is conflicting and far from being abusive.

And I don’t think what Nesta has done up until this point has been “a few actions” she has repeatedly risked her life for her family, and saved Feyre and her unborn child. She went to a high lords meeting and told them that it was because of Feyre that she even lives. She was ready to sacrifice herself in war. And that scene at Feyre’s (almost) deathbed too. I mean, what more actions is needed to “atone”.

And she’s only 24/25 so what lifetime of cruelty does she have under her belt. What can we glean from the few chapters we have been given that Nesta had always been set in this cruelty campaign against Feyre? Certainly not against Elain.

SJM has said that Feyre isn’t perfect and has made mistakes (mistakes that we haven’t seen but exist in their shared past) I don’t see it as fair to suggest that Nesta needs to do more than she already has for Feyre. Short of risking her life and defending her family, what else is there?

Above all, Feyre has said in ACOFAS, Nesta has more than made up for everything and that she’s already forgiven her. So really, it’s certain half of the fandom (and Rhysand) that hasn’t.

I’m genuinely curious, do you think Elain has anything to atone for? Or are her actions enough that she she has balanced the scale?

At the beginning of acotar, the sisters’ relationship was well established. Feyre wasn’t coming home shocked to find Nesta a changed person, so it’s reasonable to assume that her behavior had been going on for long enough that Feyre knew exactly what to expect. It wasn’t a vendetta against feyre specifically, or anyone specifically. It’s how Nesta handled her feelings, which takes me back to my point that Nesta needed to look inward for healing, not point fingers at other people.

I addressed my comment about atoning in another ask but to clarify further - Nesta has done important, useful, helpful things when the shit hit the fan. There is no disputing that. Just to reiterate, in my opinion, the important thing moving forward is that she doesnt resort to pushing people away again (when we know she doesn’t actually want to do that!)

I don’t understand why people keep saying Nesta is 24. Or calling her a girl. That’s a whole ass adult where I come from. Nesta was around 22-23 when the series started. A lot of these issues began much earlier, when she was a teenager, but… she’s still an adult. I don’t think it does her much credit to infantilize her character in order to excuse her behavior. She can vote, and drink, and rent a car in the US. She could be married for a few years, be a parent a couple times over. (You didn’t call her a girl anon, obviously, I’m just commenting on things I’ve seen in the fandom.)

Re: Elain, that’s the difference I was referring to before. Elain doesn’t look to intentionally hurt people with her words or actions, so I wouldn’t talk about her journey in the same way I would Nesta’s. Elain has some accounting to do, which imo she is. She apologized to Feyre already and acknowledged that they should have done more to help her. Your ask actually made me wonder if that’s why she’s doing what she currently does - cooking and serving food at her home, rather than relying on servants to do it. Helping other people rebuild their gardens after the war. Either way, Elain’s story is not going to be about reconciling with how she has behaved towards other people in the way that Nesta’s was. That’s not to say she’s been perfect, but she didn’t go about trying to hurt people. Her journey is different.

[forabeatofadrum]

You know what fuck it actually, answer all the writers asks that you haven’t already answered yet PLUS another #25 if you have already answered it bc you can be proud of multiple scenes HAPPY EL WOOWOO WEDNESDAY

I should've seen this coming. I am putting this under the cut because this got long. Again, I should’ve seen this coming.

I’ve already answered 5, 8, 9, 13, 18 and 25.

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

I MEAN... look at my many, many WIPs. I think the main reason for holding off a fic is because I got stuck, or because I want to prioritise other fics. I’m trying to not take on new projects, but instead focus on older ones (famous last words, probably).

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

Anything written pre-2015, unless I have rewritten them (like This Charming Man or the SBL/Glee crossover). That, except for JTWLYT, even rewritten it’s bad. I don’t mind, You gotta start somewhere, right? Because otherwise I don’t really mind any fics. Like, I wrote a Glee/Animal Crossing fic once and it slaps.

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Mostly chronological, but it doesn’t really matter. So yeah I write what I have in my mind. For example with Ljubim te, I of course knew there were going to be 24 chapters since it’s the Advent, so I plotted out a little bit what happens in all chapters and by now each chapter has at least something.

4) favorite character you’ve written

Jack motherfucking Zimmermann, even though I have abandoned my boy and I haven’t written proper Check, Please! fic in all of 2022. I want to finish two Zimbits WIPs this year, though. Maybe the attic vs. roaches debate breaching containment will bring me back to this fandom. Aly, what would you rather have? A person living in your attic, or 1000 roaches living in your attic?

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

Oh I change things without shame. I do point it out in the author’s note, in case someone notices.

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

This is a difficult question. WAIT NOT ALY THIS IS ME AFTER POSTONG THE ASK I FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS ONE I WILL DO THAT LARER CAUSE I NEED TO GO TP UNI NOW!!

OKAY ALY I AM BACK (and also hello to others!)

So, this is a difficult question because I have the Fear of Being Perceived by people I know IRL. Not necessarily because I think they will judge me, but this is just something I’ve ever had. This is also why I am not going to karaoke night tonight. As a result I do not tell people I write, but not because I am embarrassed. I have just always kept my online and offline lives separately, you know? And this has only grown over the years. I have, like, one person I know IRL follow my personal blog and I created this blog because I do not want him to see my stuff. It’s literally in the bio of this blog. This is also why my name isn’t on here, although I do not mind when people use it in asks or replies. It’s not foolproof, I am aware, but it’s how it is.

But I am also fucking proud of my work and I an enthusiastic. This is why I love ask games like this or communites on Discord. I put a lot of time and effort into my work so of course I love to blabber about it. The person I mentioned above? Yeah, he knows I write fic. But I made him promise to not go look for it. Now I did meet some people who unabashedly talk about what filth they post on AO3. And I told these people I write fic to. But I am always feeling that hesistant feeling. I told them vaguely about Bakery fic and So Much Better, but I am never going to send them the link so if they want to find it, they can, but I will not be the one giving my AO3 away. (Rip. I never kudo their fics either for this reason, cause my AO3 account will pop up).

Aka it is just kind of weird.

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

I CAN NEVER WRITE WITH PEOPLE AROUND. This is why, when I visit my parents’ house for the weekend, I write less. I recently told Jenna (@thnxforknowingme, not Ushkowitz) that I am shook that she can write at work. I cannot relate.

I don’t like silence in general. I always have sound on, but it doesn’t really matter what. I am currently listening to The Last Five Years lockdown version, but I also just put on video essays that I have seen before, or gaming music, or YouTuber content. Only when I have a specific song/playlist for a fic, I tend to actively choose what I put on, like the playlist for River fic was on repeat during the writing. And Nothing Matters When We’re Dancing is my song for “damn Baz, you live like this”/Time After Time. That kind of stuff.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

Uh. Everything. But I am also not too harsh on myself. I was 13. I am 24 now. And my English has improved. Fun fact, I did not know the difference between make out and break up for a very long time.

OH AND I LEARNED HOW TO DO PROPER PARAGRAPH BREAKS

12) your weaknesses as an author

Movements. Setting. That kind of stuff. When two people are in a scene and talk, I love the dialogue but I am constantly like “oh God, what else is going on in this scene?”

I am writing a scene for Ljubim te with Kurt and Sunil in a restaurant and I am constantly like “DON’T FORGET THEY NEED TO EAT!!!”

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

Not right now. I don’t make playlists for my fics that often, unless I want to integrate the music into the fic (again, see River fic). Or I make a playlist AFTER I am done, like my Myosotis playlist.

15) why did you start writing?

Fanfiction? When I first read Harry Potter when I was around 11, but I used to write stories before that. Shout out to TEENZZONE and my first ever gay character that I made when I was 10 and then I got scared cause oooooh homosexuality scary!!! ooooh taboooo!!!! and erased it and made him marry a lovely woman named Daisy but then years later I was like “fuck it he’s bi then”

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

Oh, uh? The first ever gay now bi character from TEENZZONE I guess. Fuck, was Danny his name, or was Danny the guy who came before Daisy? Look, I was 10. Ik zat in groep 7, of misschien zelfs 6. It’s been 14 years.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

It doesn’t have to be perfect. I am not a published author. This is all for fun. Besides, I read a lot of fic that maybe aren’t “that good” in the eyes of whoever decides what’s good, but I still enjoy them and that’s what matters in the end. I write for me and me alone and hopefully people like it too and we will all have a banging time.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

Not

Jk jk

I often have a little section in my doc with “Information”, like a timeline or people’s names or what is happening when. The one for Ljubim te has the names of my OCs and the street names of where Kurt and Blaine live. I am thinking of also making a timeline, because there are some time jumps between chapters, although I also try to point out what month it is in the chapter itself.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

Depends on how inspired I am. I write when I have an idea. Sometimes things snowball from there, sometimes it’s to only add one line.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

Define older. As I said, everything before 2015 I pretend I do not see, but after that I actually reread a lot of my stuff. Hence the “I write for me and me alone” mentality. I reread Mendacious this week. And I haven’t read the Anyway series in years and I kind of want to.

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

There are too many to list, but from the top of my head: non-con/dub-con, detailed slavery or kidnapping or something like that, graphic violence, MPREG, fic with one being a minor other an adult.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

GIRL MY MAIN STARTING POINT FOR KLAINE FIC THESE DAYS IS “WHAT PART OF MY LIFE CAN I LIFT FROM??”

Mendacious: a conversation I had with one of my friends about internalised homophobia

River fic: lol (my broken friendship) (it’s almost Real Blaine’s birthday) (ah, then it will have been 4 years since I last saw him)

Ebb & Flow: my love for Splatoon 2

Bakery fic: me being obsessed with a documentary about rich people in Dubai

Ljubim te: I miss Ljubljana

So yeah, sometimes it influences the plot (Mendacious and River fic) and sometimes it is more a starting point for me to build upon, but it’s my liiiiiiiife it’s not or neverrrrrr-

Also, okay, I am writing this Snowbaz fic called Just Some Guy from an outsider POV and that is coming from me very much believing that Baz is not that hot. Simon is just in love with him. Sorry Baz fans.

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Expert? I wouldn’t say that, but I do learn about obscure things like Broadway orchestra subbing. And of course I had that entire chapter about neurobiology in Myosotis sylvatica. But I can’t say I am an expert on things.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

You can get some All the pretty things lore as a treat.

“As if in every lifetime you and I have lived, we’ve chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love all over again, over and over for all of eternity. And I just feel so lucky that I found you so soon in this lifetime because all I want to do, all I’ve ever wanted to do is spend my life loving you.”

This is how All the pretty things ends. Obviously it is not my writing. This is a direct quote from Glee. I may hate the proposal but they went hard with the speech. But I knew I needed to end the fic with this quote, since it actually inspired the entire premise of the fic. They hop through all these dimensions and in every one of them they find each other to go on to the next. And they grow stronger in the process. I do not know if this fic would be this fic without this quote.

For my own writing, I am really happy with the “emotional climax” of Paradiso 1 and Time After Time, but shhhhh spoilers, you gotta read that for yourself. But a shareable part that I am admittedly obessed with is from The Naked Truth:

We’re acting like a bunch of hormonal teenagers, but I don’t care. We’re high on energy and love. The moment we get to my flat and I close the door behind us, I press him against it and he laughs.

Again, there’s so much laughter.

Is this what love is like? Endless exuberant laughter? I revel in the sound of his joy.

I wrote this because I used “he laughs” or “I laugh” or “we laugh” A LOT in this fic up to the point that it was making me wonder if it’s bad writing, so I just put it in the story. Hooray.

ALY I FUCKING DID IT.

[winderlylandchime]

I actually had QueerAnon as my number 1 podcast omg. Hopefully that tips off Jordan and Randy that they need to get their asses back to recording.

I honestly think the therapist knows about the show. I mean from what my brother has told me about him, the guy is around the same age as my brother and they’ve talked about movies, tv shows and music so I feel like he either knows it since the beginning or went to look it up. But the idea of him not knowing and just knowing my brother will lose his mind when his beloved show is over, is equally funny. I mean my brother vented to him about Brian getting cancer and about Ethan so he’s seen him at his worst throughout this show.

And as for the last few episodes: His plan is to watch them all at once. One after the other. Today. So I hate to report that the ‘straight man watches qaf in the year of our lord 2023’ is officially coming to an end. Do you remember that scene in Finding Nemo when the fishes try to escape from the tank and the starfish says ‘THE TANK IS CLEAN!’? Well he woke up today, walked into the kitchen and quoted the whole scene but changed it a bit, so it was: ‘good morning! Todays the day! The sun is shining, im watching the last episodes and I am finishing the sho- IM WATCHING THE LAST EPISODES!’ He even filmed himself and sent it to our family group chat and to his friends thinking how funny he is and immediately afterwards I got bunch of texts from our cousins, our uncle, our parents and 3 of his friends. And literally every single one of them is worried how he will handle it. My cousins basically said ‘good luck’ (they know how it ends and they also told majority of the family). My uncle is now fully involved (but only for his entertainment purposes) but he does think my brother might experience a mental breakdown after he sees the finale. His husband and him over the weekend watched the finale to try and judge how he will react and according to my uncle when the credits rolled, his husband looked at him and went ‘oh he is soooo fucked.’ And his friends told me that he told them he thinks it will be a happy finale bc no way would anyone do all that and then not make sure they end up happy, together and in love. They even brought up the Iron Man aftermath and im worried they’re right. So heartbreak is inevitable.

I will try my absolute hardest to send updates as soon as we finish the finale. But I apologize in advance if it either ends up being sent really fucking late at night or really fucking early in the morning. I already know I’m gonna be a mess watching the finale (i think I’ve seen it only a handful of times, maybe even less) but i am not ready to witness that first ever heartbreak due to the finale that my brother is only hours away from experiencing. It’s been years since I first saw it and i still remember how much it hurt so rip to the straight man. So who the fuck knows what his reaction will be to literally any of the next 4 episodes but especially the finale.

I'm guessing that the tumblr fandom is responsible for that podcast's listens this year. And I do hope Spotify wrapped sends up the bat signal that they need to make more episodes! C'mon Jordan and Randy!

I agree, it is just as funny for the therapist to think "I have no idea what is going to happen but Brother Anon is so unhinged about this, no matter what, it's going to be a crisis."

RIP to the tag "a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023" after this week. Btw, instant regret for choosing such a long tag but oh well! I'm not even christian! It is NOT the year of my lord... lol.

I'm glad the whole family is aware that this is going to ROUGH (understatement of the year) on your brother. I think having some things to help him immediately will be helpful - an episode of QueerAnon, a bts youtube clip, a favorite fanfic - and maybe letting him know there is a whole group of us cheering him on? Like he's heartbroken but he has friends he never even knew were out there? IDK.

Good luck. Don't worry about what time your messages come in. I have a super busy day tomorrow, so if I don't get to them, that's not a sign of anything. I just have a doctor's appointment (where I will *not* discuss qaf with my doctor) and then a bunch of appointments straight through until night.

Good luck and godspeed dear sweet anon. I have the feeling you're going to need it.

[potter-pavlikovsky-popchyk]

Thank you to everyone who got me to 1000 likes!

I actually never pay attention to this sort of stuff but this is a blog I’m super dedicated to as I truly am in love with this book sm and the characters and I just love this fandom sm!

When I can feel others share in that obsessive love for characters/fandoms I hold so dear to me it just helps me in confirming myself in knowing it’s okay to just take time to enjoy the little things in life. In a way it becomes a big thing, far bigger than itself, our passions really do influence our lives outside of them.

With in the last 2 years I’ve allowed myself the peace to indulge in being a bigger part of fandoms in general and contributing instead of devaluing my ideas and writing to the point of keeping them as files only I get to read. So I just wanted to observe this milestone here and use it to say a huge thank you to everyone who even likes one single post!

I’m happy if you’re happy! I feel joy from your joy as we share the same passion. As fandom we help lift each other’s spirits as well as just be there through the struggles of the human condition, of life. Sometimes we’re really unaware of the effects the smallest things can have on someone for better or worse and I really do think for the most, for most people, we just want a place we can all come to and just “be” for a little while. No judgment, just acceptance and vibing!

I also wanted to use this as a means of showing that I really don’t see myself as some “big blog” like some of you have come to think I am. You know who you are I won’t name names but y’all are lovely and just as awesome as you see me so please remember that!

See, I’ve had this blog for a little under the 2 years I’ve been obsessed (cause I had a multifandom acct I still use but Boreo consumed me so much that I had to make an acct for just them even if the fandom didn’t seem alive/active I just was so invested I was like I will be the only person posting if I must be, idc, this book is everything to me rn. And wouldn’t ya know! People still love this fandom, ✨them✨!)

Lol so all I’m saying is.. follow your passions, push yourself if you must to try and share them with other like minds interested in such things, even if you think they don’t exist or that you’re inferior to those already doing stuff.

I felt that way, still do, but it’s not about being better than anyone else it simply about sharing something attached to yourself, your heart and soul, all of your own life struggles and things you’ve learned Frankensteined into something beautiful that Hobie would approve of, something that touches even one person is worth while in this life because you never know the domino effect you may have a hand in.

Maybe it’s corny or peculiar but I think in odd ways in order to remember how fantastic and grand life can be in ways like this. So, I like to think about how it only takes one person to make a difference. (Again, good or bad. We get to choose the difference we make. What we put our time and energy into. We get to choose if our energy makes people feel good, seen, heard, understood of just simply not alone in sharing our own struggles).

One like, one comment, it validates someone to keep going. To keep pushing. More over though I think of the influence I could have on others, even if only one person sees something I share I think of how they could then go forward inspired to follow they’re interest/passions and draw or write something from that. I think how that’s what helped me and I want to be what so many faceless people where to me. Sure I may not remember them by names or nothing more than a user name or chance exchange, could have only been a sentence, but those little moments of shared energies.. that’s what life is all about!!!

So, for anyone who needs to hear it.. enjoy what you enjoy, and please for the love of everything good and unholy, tryyyy for me to stop judging yourself and accept that that’s just something you like and work with it rather than against it. Work to break the cycle of negative inner dialogue. You are enough, you can do anything, you are amaziiiiing and so beautiful in every way, you’re valid and valuable, your energy is all you and no one can take that away from you or change it with out your say so. Please work hard, for yourself, for the ones who love you, for your future self that deserves it. Please, keep fighting. Keep pushing yourself (lovingly and gently) to the goals you have in your own time.

It wasn’t that long ago I started letting myself indulge in fandom stuff and working to let go of the guilt of that feeling unproductive. But once I did I found myself allowing myself to have that healing time, of just sitting and enjoying and realizing just how healing it was. Self care is just as necessary and productive as anything else so don’t tie guilt to it whatever it is. Allow yourself that peace. I found once I did my gosh I finally started to find that balance I always wanted between life goal productivity and this sort of stuff.

I even realized that I could take myself and my writing seriously! If I hadn’t let myself indulge in fandom time I wouldn’t have come out of denial in so many things. I’m so grateful I found this book when I needed it (through a really rough patch).

I’m so happy I allowed myself the self care and healing time with fandom and fanfic cause had I not who knows if I ever would have started to seek out the enjoyment of life through the artistic means I once had. I don’t wanna get dark but I truly hadn’t grasped how much I had given up on life, myself, ever feeling real content feelings again. The enjoyment of art in all it forms. And this book this fandom has pulled me out of that! I can’t thank y’all and Donna Tartt enough!

I now take myself and my writing serious enough to have plans to take at least a English course to relearn all the basics and be able to work on my writing because I want to have my own novel done if not published with in the next two years!

(I’m pretty tight that I edited this from the first private post this morning and for some reason it didn’t keep that version and I just had to reedit it again 😑🙄🤌🏻but had to in order to get everything I wanted out to my lovelies!)

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

So do you guys remember my post about Jedi meeting their birth families and being chill with it? 

I’ve been thinking a bit - a lot, for like a year - about all the headcanons around Jedi’s biological people, and there are really only two possible cases that seem to get explored: the pure of heart, flawed but loving, desperate parents who ‘had’ to give up their precious child to the Jedi and didn’t feel they had a choice (most commonly seen from the more Jedi critical parts of the fandom, but not always), and the horribly abusive no good parents at all who gladly dumped their baby onto the Order (which appears to be the way of some Jedi fans to ‘justify’ the adoption into the Order as legitimate, which really shouldn’t be the point because adoptions are just as legitimate without abuse factoring in).

What’s kinda sad is how little we’re willing to explore all the possibilities, maybe because we don’t want to be perceived as on the wrong side of the fandom by our own pals. We all deal with just so much bad faith discourse that we smooth out any sort of human drama and nuance to try and have clear cut narratives that are so black and white that they must prevent bad faith interpretations. Jedi have to be perfect pure angels that have never done anything wrong to be recognized as good, because we’re afraid that if we write them in an interesting way people will jump on the opportunity to accuse them of all sorts of stuff.

Well, I’m tired of vanilla fics and good guys vs bad guys when dealing with purely human everyday stuff. Bad guys are for the galactic battles, the epic clash of eternal forces. When dealing with how Jedi younglings come to the Order, we can have plenty of amazing, heart-wrenching drama and warm, happy moments where all sorts of good and regular people have different goals and meet and clash without anyone being at ‘fault’ or being to blame for it. I want to see (*sigh* to write) complex, difficult situations that can’t be perfectly resolved but where people do try and everyone feels like a *person*.

With that out of the way, what about:

- the unanimously proud communities, so honored that their daughter will represent their people and traditions among the Order, wear their clothing and bear their name

- the desperate mother with proud relatives, who doesn’t want to give away her child, but feels pressured into it by well-meaning relatives. The Master feels her reluctance and tries to reassure her, but she insists that it’s fine - and it is, she wants it to be, she wants to believe it’s for the best but it’s just so hard...

- Stass Allie’s parents, who saw their niece Adi GAllia go to the Order a few years prior. Their two families are influential on Coruscant, but with Adi already in the Order, do they need to send Stass too? Will people think they’re making a grab for power? Will Stass be better off over there, with her cousin? 

- Tiplar and Tiplee’s parents. How many children do they have, besides their twins? Is it easier to let your children go when you know they will be together? Did they make the Master promise they wouldn’t be separated no matter what? Did they dress them in matching outfits, or were the Jedi the ones to come up with that?

- the teenaged single mom who cries tears of relief when she realizes her baby will have a good life

- the single dad who can’t bring himself to let his daughter go, because she’s his whole world. The Master presses, not fully understanding, because she would would give up everything for the good of her Padawan, including her relationship with him if need be. The dad still says no.

- the struggling addict parent who is glad to dump that kid (but who still wakes up at night crying, cursing the Jedi, cursing themselves - who get their life back on track for their next kid, maybe? Who meets more Jedi and is thankful after all, or who never does and stays bitter, but better...)

- the family using the adoption for clout, and the consequences for the Order PR-wise, with the younger Jedi having to let go of the bitterness and the anger

- the communities with their own customs surrounding the Force that the young Knight or the wise Master’s inexperienced Padawan struggle to grasp and accept

- the happy parents who are mildly Force-sensitive themselves but didn’t know (or did know, and expected some of their children to be sensitive too), with the Master or the Knight pondering what their own life would look like as a civilian, maybe a parent themselves, maybe giving their own child to the Order like those are doing now. Would they do it? If they could met that hypothetical version of themselves, what would they say about the life they have? 

- the superstitious, incredulous or religious parents who are just glad to get a real explanation for the floating rocks, instead of all the theories and the judging and the gossip

- the ones who are desperately poor, and so very grateful, and the younger Jedi struggling with this, wondering if that’s why they were given to the Order as well. Struggling not to judge, because they wouldn’t be happy to give up their own younglings no matter what, right? Learning to be grateful, and understanding, and compassionate. 

- the parents who decide to give their child away against the community’s pressure, finding comfort in the Jedi’s genuine desire to support them

- the siblings struggling not to feel betrayed by their parents’ choice - and the jealous ones, the proud ones, the amazed ones, the ones who were just toddlers and spend their life holding onto faded memories

And on the flipside to all of that, what about:

- the Jedi who find a baby among dead bodies, like Mace and Depa, and are so thankful they could save this one tiny light

- the Knights filled to burst with warmth and pride as the three of them get this little toddler to giggle on the way home

- the baby who has been screaming in the Force for weeks, wanting to go home, and who finally gets to feel a presence caressing his mind gently, telling him someone is coming

- the Masters who hold the little ones at night, when those who miss their old home feel lonely or sad, rocking them and singing to them

- the Jedi who have their niece, nephew, cousin, or sibling arrive in the Creche, who call their birth family to reassure them that it’ll all be okay, and yes, ‘the child will know who I am, don’t worry, we keep our names. I’ll help them along the way, I’ll keep an eye on them.’

- the Knight who shows up somewhere and experience a supersonic boom because that’s the one, this little one will be his Padawan, he knows it

- the Knight awkwardly trying to comfort the parents, but she can see that they can see that the baby has already latched onto her, and she senses their turmoil

- the Master feeling that the child won’t be suited for the life of a Jedi, and saying that, even as it’s so hard to turn away from those sparkling baby eyes and that little mental tug 

- the Padawan balancing babbling triplets on his shoulders, because they’re from a species that makes a lot of babies

- the Master-Padawan pair visiting a child a lot during the transition period, and bonding with the other siblings as well

... Just... a mess of relationships and love on all parts, with understandings being reached, people finding peace and joy, and the opposite of all that, all acknowledging that there are no bad guys here, just complicated circumstances.

[mimzy-writing-online]

You probably know this by now, I don't know if you keep up with Whumptober, but one of the prompts this year includes "blindness". I'm not blind but based on your posts about writing blind characters, and based on how I would feel if one of my disabilities were used as a whump prompt, I'm not super comfortable with it. I was wondering what your thoughts are on blindness being a Whumptober prompt.

(unironically and with feeling) thanks, I hate it.

Yes, I’m familiar with Whumptober, but I’ve never participated myself and I haven’t seen this year’s prompts.

Edit: I later did see the prompts and check out the blog. I think it's a good set of prompts and I look forward to all the promising content, especially since some of my favorite tropes are there. To be clear before you read this, I have no problem with Whumptober2021 or whump in general. This is not the first time blindness has been included for a list of whump prompts, and it won't be the last.

This post directed at the concept of "blindness" as a whump prompt and why I think it's a bad idea. The intended audience is individual writers thinking about future projects.

The timing of this is almost too perfect because I read a fanfic earlier this week that would meet that prompt exactly. Tags included whump, blindness, and angst with a happy ending. Now whump, hurt/comfort, and angst with a happy ending are tags I enjoy reading, but blindness as whump has a specific message to it.

To explain that message, I want to discuss what whump is. Many readers are already familiar with the genre, but I think taking the specific definitions and picking apart what it means and what expectations we carry when reading whump fanfiction

Urban Dictionary defines it as: taking a character and putting them through physical and/or mental torment and is typically followed by the same character being treated for their traumas. To indicate the characters place in the situation they’d typically be called a whumpee (the character being hurt/comforted), the whumper (the character that causes harm and trauma), and the caretaker (the character designated the helping/healing/comforting the whumpee).

Fanlore has a page for whump that explains it in depth, including where it started in fanfiction, examples of whump, and even a list of “popular targets” in different fandoms. (Warning: you might find yourself called out on the popular targets list)

“The term whump (or whumping) generally refers to a form of Hurt/Comfort that is heavy on the hurt and is often found in gen stories. The exact definition varies and has evolved over time. Essentially, whump involves taking a canon character, and placing them in physically painful or psychologically-damaging scenarios. Often this character is a fan favorite…”

To add to that, I think an important detail is the distinction Fanlore makes between hurt/comfort and whump:

“While some communities and fandoms may use whump as a synonym for hurt/comfort, there is still a recognition that whump refers to darker and more extreme scenarios. And there are still whump fics been written that have very little, or no comfort at the end of the story.”

The big appeal of hurt/comfort is getting to both explore the darker sides of pain and then experience the catharsis of being taken care of, of being supported by your loved ones as you recover from the trauma. The character is the proxy for experiencing those highs and lows while you yourself are safe at home.

I personally don’t read much/any whump without some h/c involved, but I’m happy there are stories out there for people who do enjoy it. I’m not here to judge what you like reading or what you do to your characters.

What I want is to express how blindness, my disability, used as a whump prompt personally makes me feel and what message it sends to me, to others, and how that message affects my daily life.

Whump undeniably involves watching a character suffer through something painful and traumatic.

My use of the word “suffer” is what I want you to focus on.

Vision loss can be painful and traumatic. I personally developed an anxiety disorder in response to vision loss. Others experience depression. For some it might result in relapsing into old, maladaptive coping mechanisms like drug use, self harm, or eating disorders.

A big part of my anxiety was how people reacted to my vision loss. It was a cause of their stress. They were worried because they genuinely believed I would never live a happy life without normal vision, and that my life would only be struggle and pain.

I recently saw an old friend who hadn’t heard about my vision loss. The conversation was awkward, but the worst part was how they reacted as though I had experienced an insurmountable tragedy. And even when I assured them I’m happy with my life, they clearly didn’t believe me. They acted like I was just lying or in denial.

I love that people want to empathize with my situation and ask themselves what they would do in my situation, but I hate when the conclusion they come to is something along the lines of “I could never do that, I’d be too miserable thinking about everything I lost, I’d never be able to do anything I enjoyed ever again.” But I did go blind. And I’m not miserable, I’m actually happy with the direction my life is going, and I still enjoy my hobbies, even if I engage with them differently.

I’m not suffering. My life didn’t end with vision loss. It’s not ruined, broken, or worthless.

I read a fanfic that was tagged with whump, blindness, and angst with a happy ending. A general synopsis of the plot: the whumpee had gone blind due to a curse. It was true love’s kiss that broke the curse. Even from the summary I knew it was going to end with whumpee being cured somehow and that I’d leave that fanfic vaguely dissatisfied no matter how good the rest of the fanfic was.

I can say this for the fanfic: the whumpee had already accepted that they would likely be blind for the rest of their life, but everyone around them was treating it as a tragedy that needed to be fixed, working tirelessly for a cure despite the whumpee’s protests that they didn’t have to.

It actually hit home to my personal experience.

I still left it dissatisfied with the ending. I might love curse fics in that fandom, and I love the “true love’s kiss” trope, but it wasn’t enough to distract me from the fact that: an actual person out in the world thought the best happy ending, maybe the only happy ending, would be if the character got their sight back.

(note: I clicked kudos and exited out of the story's page because no fanfic writer deserves unsolicited critique or hate, especially for content I consumed for free and at my own volition.)

Why read a story I knew would disappoint me?

Because blindness representation is so damn rare that I feel like I’m wandering in a desert, dying from thirst and desperate for that oasis. But sometimes that oasis is a mirage and the author is unintentionally telling you that your life is actually awful and you’ll never be fully happy like this. And that is a shit mentality to walk through life with.

I don’t appreciate blindness being a whump plot. I hate it. Hundreds (thousands?) of fanfictions featuring blind characters are about to enter the internet and the overall message is going to be “You poor thing! You must be in so much pain, you must be miserable! Who’s going to save you? Who’s going to comfort you? Wouldn’t it be terrible if there was no one in your life to take care of you? You poor helpless thing!”

And I feel objectified. I feel trivialized. The mirage in the desert is going to become a starch, empty room filled with dozens of water bottles, almost all of them poisoned. My representation is going to hurt me personally, and it’s going to reinforce that idea strangers have about how awful my life must be.

(I returned to school this past month, and every day I’m hesitant to tell someone I’m visually impaired because I don’t want to be treated differently. If I’ve managed to pass as sighted this whole time and then suddenly reveal “oh yeah, I’m visually impaired” I feel this instant silence, this pause of awkwardness as people suddenly question how they’re supposed to treat me. They treated me like a person, and now I’m something strange and unfamiliar.)

I’ve worked so hard to improve representation for blind people, to give internet strangers the exposure to a blind person they need to normalize blindness because I hope that if they’re ever so lucky as to meet a blind person, they’ll treat that person with respect. That hope that another person in the blind community will find a friend they feel comfortable and accepted with. I hope that I’ll meet people who accept my blindness as just another aspect of me (like being bisexual or gender fluid or a writer or a cat lover).

Please don’t turn me and my community into a caricature. Don’t erase everything I’ve worked for with this blog.

To be clear, this is not just me saying "I hate the cure trope" again. This is me saying "the purpose of whump is to painfully hurt your favorite character, and I hate that your idea of pain and suffering is my daily (wonderful) life."