#I also dont see the point in making a difference between bullying and abuse

[wookiecookiesfactory]

I do feel a lot of snape fans underestimate his cruelty, which I kinda get because its his most gross aspect, specially towards harry, for me it reaches its peak in hbp when snape makes harry go through sirius and james's school records, no matter how rightious his hatred of both is, snape is pupously triggering harry, the wounds of sirius's death still fresh, and this is all after snape knows~ that harry has to die within a year or so.

Thats brutal, I also do think he was making fun of harry's abuse during the occlumency lessons, he is capable of it. All of this is why I feel very uncomfortable when parts of the snapedom try to rationalizr snape's treatment of harry or say that somehow harry participated to create the animosity ("snape is angry because harry puts his life in danger") there is nothing rational about it and thats...fine, snape is a character that is cruel to children, gotta deal w it.

[marunalu]

I'm not a bakudeku Stan (I only like them platonically) but with the latest leaks, it almost feels like I'm turning into a shipper idk. Like i'm starting to see that there's a reason why it's so popular. A lot of bkdk fans are annoying for sure, but their ship gets so much focus so I almost don't blame them I guess? I've also seen a lot of non-bkdks imagining the same scenarios for their fave ship

People can ship whatever they want as long as they dont harass and bully others for not liking it. On my blog I only call out the toxic bkdk shipper fanbase (dekakchan and her minions on twitter harassing people even children for not liking bkdk), I have zero problem with bkdk shippers as long as they accept that their ship is not to everyones taste.

Bkdk is popular because gay ships and rivals ships were ALWAYS popular! The japanese bkdk fanbase knows perfectly well that their ship is not going to end up canon! And they see shipping as a hobby and just their fantasys. They can different between canon and fanon ships which bkdk is the latter of.

Personally for why I could NEVER ship izuku with bakugou is because bakugou is izukus ABUSER! It doest matter if bakugou changed for the better even if his personality would make an 180° turn. The fundation of his and izukus relationship is abuse! An abuse that lastet for 12 YEARS! Absolutely nothing will ever change that!

Shipping bkdk would be like shipping endeavor with rei after everything he did to her and their children and hoping rei will give him an second chance as her husband (at this point it wouldnt shock me if that is what will happen, because hori isnt the best writer when it comes to abuse victims). Just picture the outrage of the readers if endeavor and rei will get together again in the end! If rei shouldnt get back together with her abusive husband then izuku shouldnt get together with the guy who tormented him for 12 years of his life and destroyed the most part of his childhood!

Thats how I see it and that will never change.

[heyharoldsboo]

Hi ARIES, look we know you lurk around here because Ana has mentioned how she gets weekly asks calling her a dickriding cunt. Gotta assume it’s you at this point. I know this is a long message but i suggest you read it.

We know you are the reddit poster. We also know who “the minor that percy groomed and abused” is and we know the age difference between them is not 5 years like you said (even though initially you said about 3-4…you should have read your proof better tbh) but about 2.5 years and we also know that this girl still follows percy and katie on ig. (For those who dont know, dont try to find this girl ppl its impossible she changer her name in ig). And he followed her before your army of minions bullied him into unfollowing all his friends and art pages on insta. If she was so terrified and abused by him why is she still following him and his current gf or ex gf wtv they are? Ohh and speaking of this minor, there is proof on ig of you doing drugs with her when she was still a minor and you were over 18. Thats not a great! People are not exposing her because its obvious she does not wanna get involved, shes only 18. But thats because Percy defenders have respect and dont wanna scoop low. That is also the reason why the reddit post proof has not been shared. So keep that in mind.

as for your SA allegations, i dont want to assume what SA is like for any given person but if you did meet him at a party, you yourself said he “ touched your back and hips and asked you to chill”. So basically he hit on you? you also said it was not violent and that you know some people will say its nothing. Why would you say that at all if what he really did was SA? I also find it strabge how you seem to post insta stories from ever party you ever go to lately but you didnt back then? During the age of smartphones. And also you should tell Kayla DMs dont get deleted when someone blocks you or an app gets updated.

but anyways, dont wanna get too much into debunking proof, there a lot if that on twitter. I wanna tell you that it is more than clear you are not well. The way you post on reddit, especially facebook. I know its not easy mental health wise and you need help. Those tweets you tweeted yesterday, about how you have done horrible things and cant apologise, dont know what thats about but if its about Percy you should come clean. I know you never will though, too much to ask for because what you and your friends have done is truly inhumane. You took a small toxic part of a teens life, when he was probably troubled and part of an awful group of friends with those girls and that brycen guy and embelished a situation to put a narrative out there that he was some weekly rapist. And you all know this, thats why you dont have better proof, thats why the only things you could provide was proof he cheated on Karis and told Desiree she wasnt a liar and had to inform himself because it was the first time he had to deal with this and it was a delicate situation. If he raped girls every weekend, why was it the first time he had to deal with that when desiree says she got raped at a party? Desiree does not deny whatbhe says at all. Also, why did Kayla text a rapist to call someone to make all this end? Why give a rapist any chance to apologize or “explain himself”? Makes no sense. you see Aries the very own ss you girls shared invalidate the narrative you were trying to put out there. Because you all knew simply saying he was a womanizer and a bully would not be enough to cancel him.

Not a lot of people have any compassion left for you. Maybe im soft but I kind of do. Because I had a family member who had the issues that you are dealing with now and I know how hard it is. You need help, professional help and to find the right medication and the right dosage as well. And you need to get off social media, it is the worst thing for someone in your situation. You should come clean about how you feel and what you did and close it off. Disconnect, clear your mind and girl i dont know if you are seeing one or not, but you need a better doctor or therapist. I do feel for you a bit, even if so many people dont because i dont think you’re thinking straight and i think you are very confused and in crisis.

i dont know about the rest of the girls, but wtv grudge they held against percy from high school, they got their revenge. He will have haters forever, this will forever be a stain on his life and career. You have all done SO MUCH damage, you have no idea! So congratulations but now ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! From all you!

i truly wish you get the help you need one day

I'm glad there are still compassionate people in this world, because I am one of the people who have no kindness or compassion left for her or any of the Shitshow sisters.

I hope karma gets her good.

[dopscratch]

FNAF MOVIE THOUGHTS BECAUSE I CANT SLEEP

non spoiler version: solid 8/10, beautiful animatronics, glorious set, wished for a bit more horror/tension but overall it was entertaining and enjoyable and surreally awesome to see

(spoilers below)

for my rating,

scares were very lacking, the only time i jumped was when i heard matpat, and there werent any moments that made me feel uneasy. i think my standards got sent sky high after watching battington so much though hahah. i feel like making the lighting darker/more desaturated at some points and a few more moments of quiet tension and good ambient sounds could have fixed this, though overall this doesn't bother me TOO much and i still enjoyed the movie immensely, still, point docked.

spring bonnie looked amazing and he did NOT get enough screen time, point docked (this also refers to the lacking buildup for his reveal and the fact that afton doesnt even wear the spring bonnie head most of the time)

no phone guy :(

overall though i loved this movie and there were so many points where i was sitting there pointing at the screen excitedly slamming my armrest. it wasn't perfect, surely not the best movie ever made, but it was a solid and entertaining start that made me happy and i hope to see more.

anyway, now for other thoughts

for most forms of media i hate it when there are lore inaccuracies between adaptations but for fnaf it works so well? like with the games and the books and even the eras of games you have various continuities and they're all different and unique but also contain similar themes and motifs and you can use some to infer things about the others and i absolutley love it

like right now the movies makin me think about if game mike ever had to do some of williams dirty work?? has game mike ever made a misjudgement or rash desicion when confronted with something suggesting child abduction (or maybe to extend it more, bullying/abuse?)

also if movie mike & his family are actually related to the henry emily equivalent?? like we have garrett who like charlotte gets captured and killed by afton at a DIFFERENT point in time than the missing children's incident and afton presumably went out of his way to go get him too- you cant convince me afton came across the schmidts by chance and the way he LOOKED at mike reading his name like he was ANALYZING HIM dang i could feel that stare it was crazy. i feel like there has to be more significance to this. a father who takes a death in the family poorly?? a kid abducted before the missing children's incident? sounds familiar... (also i just really like mike in all of fnaf and the way he was characterized in this movie was so interesting and i am probably just desperately telling myself this because i really dont wanna see him sidelined for vanessa, who i always found as a sort of mid character)

does movie william have multiple kids or just one? if the schmidts are the emily parallels (which is. just my speculation and hopes.) and theres multiple kids maybe movie afton only has 1 child??

parallels parallels galore too!! like how vanessa being aftons daughter rationalizes her appearance in the movie a lot so she's still that reluctant follower without all that crazy ai business! mike's negligence leading to guilt over something bad happening to his lil bro! abby nearly getting stuffed into the possibly circus baby suit!! its just so wild to me

expect more speculation from me because I am goin nuts over this movie. so many unanswered questions and so many ways to take this and apply it to concepts in other facets of the franchise. love all of this new material and how its going back to the roots of just old supernatural stuff, ghosts in grimy old machines business. i just love the simplicity of it and the many ways it can be executed

[eggydev]

talking about abuse and neglect

dont worry about reading this if you're not in a good headspace.

I'm in my 30s. I never intended to live past 30, and I'm 32 currently. It's hard to describe- the feelings I feel about it. For the longest time, I struggled with what exactly caused my ongoing depression and anxiety- not to mention me having to figure out myself having autism/audhd in my adult years around my 20s.

I've talked to my brother about this, but for me, my mother is someone who was split into 3 different people.

1: The mother I had and needed- lasted all of 4 years in my life. I remember her vividly; someone who would read bedtime stories to me and my brother, someone who would sing us to sleep and do absolutely everything she could to love and raise us. Someone I see in old family photos and videos and get teary-eyed just remembering.

2: The "person" who she turned into after she met That Man and his kids. My mom had me at age 23. She never thought she was capable of becoming pregnant, because the women in my family always struggled to conceive. When she found out she was pregnant, she was ecstatic, but she also didn't want to give up her partying lifestyle, and wanted to keep going out. She was obsessed with a type of "fitting in" lifestyle like that of a teenager. She's still like that.

She let That Man into our lives, and it fucked us over for the rest of our lives up until now. That Man and his kids did unspeakable things to me and my brother, and not only was my mom aware of it; she actively made it a point to insult/laugh at me and my brother. That Man and his kids, especially his daughter, who was my age, were especially critical about me and my brothers' developing bodies.

There's lots more I could go into, but basically- my mom loved my now ex step-sister. That Girl was everything she wanted her children to be: carbon copies of her, and wanting to party, go drinking and have sex (underage), and felt the need to laugh at me and my brother for being "lame" and "have no social life", while we were between the ages of 7-16 and beyond. She was not a mother. She was a bully, and an abuser. She hated that me and my brother were becoming introverted people- especially me.

After my mom got divorced from That Man after I turned 18- things were already fucked. She had no one to back her up with insulting me and my brother anymore- her high school type mentality was shattered before her eyes and she was scrounging for some sort of way to placate her lack of support. She never apologized to either me and my brother.

3: The Woman. That's all I really see about her. That's all I see her as, now. She's technically my "mother", but she's no different from a distant cousin. She's a shell of whoever she was in the past, and she acts very different now. She tries to be a part of mine and my brother's lives. She's failing at it. When we confront her on the things she used to say and do to us, she breaks down and cries. Why does *she* get to cry? SHE'S the one who did it to us, after all. SHE'S the one who caused her kids to be unable to be and do things they've always wanted to do, because SHE thought it was so pathetic and lame- she had to shut it down no matter what- we couldn't be happy with ourselves because SHE made it a point to make us feel like shit.

She's no one to me. She's my "mother" on paper, but I'll never forgive her. My brother already tore into her- really, really badly. But it's something she NEEDED to hear. Especially from him. My "mother" is afraid of him. Not in a safety kind of way- but in a mental sort of way- because no matter what she has to say as a critique- no matter how small- my brother knows what to say to her and how to say it to make her shut the fuck up like he always wanted to say to her.

She's not a "mother" to me. She talks to me like a neutral person. She only sometimes shows affection like a mother would, I guess. I bite my tongue when she does, because I fight with the struggle of telling her what she did to me those years ago- I wish I could tell her how fucked up she's made me. I just know, though, that she'll just sit there and cry. I won't ever have any kind of "satisfaction" or "closure" or anything from her. And I know, that if I DID confront her about it- it wouldn't do anything. I can't ever forgive her. Never. Not for how she treated us, not for how she failed us as her children and many, many other reasons.

I don't have a "mother", really. I have a "relative"- she's not the same person who I remember back before I started elementary school. She's a shell of a person, and I feel nothing for her. I'll never get those years back that she stole from me. I'll never have the closure I wish I had. Because either "doesn't remember", or she'll just cry about how she "wishes she could take it back". Yet, when we confront her about it, she doubles down and says: "What was I supposed to do? I wanted to keep partying/drinking!" And when my brother tells her: "YOU HAVE KIDS NOW. YOU DON'T GET TO DO THAT SHIT ANYMORE!! That's what it MEANS to be A PARENT."

And she goes quiet. Because she's a moron.

One day, I want to tell her everything I feel, just like my brother was able to. I haven't found the words for it. I'll figure it out, eventually. I'm just busy with myself and my life- trying to heal from the years and years of fucked up shit her and That Man played a part in. I'm in a happy, healthy marriage. I love my husband. I'm still mentally unwell, but I like to know that That Woman who calls herself my mother, can never take that happiness away from me.

This ended up being super long and pretty revealing, so I dont know how long I'll keep it up. But then again, it's *my* diary, right? I'm at a plateau, mentally right now. I could be better, but I'm doing "ok". When it comes to my mother, however, is another story. I'll figure it out on my own, one day. But for now...that's who she is to me- just some family member. She's not the abuser anymore, but she's also not a "mother", either.

She'll never be able to "make it up" to me or my brother. I hope she knows that. I think somewhere, in her ignorant mind, she does know that. She's just afraid to admit or confront it. Mm.

If you read all of this: Thank you. These are things I struggle with every single day of my life. There's so much more I can say and share, but I'm already really drained from sharing this much- or from writing it out.

Be safe.

[thebluespirit83]

debunking pro-snape/anti-james arguments and putting it on the internet because clearly i hate myself. buckle up. this is gonna be a VERY long post. im ready for the amount of hate i will get; im willing to take one for the team. 

1. james forced lily into dating/marrying/etc him 

this literally never happened? because its almost as if lily is her own person who is able to stand up for herself-

“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

She turned on her heel and hurried away [from james]. 

-and so she would not allow someone to walk all over her. its almost as if james (canonically) matured as a person, and she appreciated this, realised he was a good person and got feelings for him? because james’ only negative traits were that he was conceited and a show off. people are able to mature and grow from these things! james did this! he did not ‘force’ lily to go out with him!

2. james and the other marauders bullied snape

you know what, i cant even disagree with this one. you’re right - they did bully him. but lets look a little bit at the context. 

sirius and james were both upper class, naive white rich boys. they are idiots. they were both stupid smart teenagers!! they were popular! and while this does not excuse the gross bullying snape was subject to-

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him

Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular ... Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

-it (unfortunately) makes sense with context. james and sirius also stopped bullying people, and even expressed discomfort/regret with the way they acted-

“I’m not proud of it,” said Sirius quickly.

“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly, “we were all idiots!

[sirius talking to remus] you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes

A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it.

-when they were younger! i’d also like to point out these little lines i noticed when i was finding quotes for my argument which snape stans like to ignore:

James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other

I mean, he [snape] never lost an opportunity to curse James

there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood

wow, look at that. the hate they felt for each other was mutual! snape also jinxed james! but oh wait - james was the one who matured! snape was the one who bullied his son twenty years later because he looked like james! 

3. snape didnt abuse the kids at hogwarts 

here’s a real argument i saw when looking through some pro-snape posts: ‘snape wasn’t an abuser, because abusers don’t let their victims retaliate, but snape did let the kids talk back to him’

what. the. fuck?! 

this is the dictionary.com definition of abuse: ‘to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way’ or ‘to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about’. i’m pretty sure snape did both of these things-

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”

“So,” said Snape, gripping Harry’s arm so tightly Harry’s hand was starting to feel numb.

Snape threw Harry from him with all his might.

[hermione’s teeth]  "I see no difference."

‘Idiot boy!’ snarled Snape [at neville]

-on multiple occasions. i’d also like to remind you guys that neville’s worst fear is SNAPE?! his TEACHER, a figure that is supposed to be there for emotional and educational support is his worst fear in this entire world?! above the woman who drove his parents to insanity? over failure, over his abusive grandmother, over everything? his teacher? and for the pro-snaper that used this quote-

Nearly everyone laughed. Even Neville grinned apologetically.

-to claim that it was a joke, it isn’t a joke. because when snape came out of that cupboard, he was terrified. yes, it’s an embarrassing thing to have as your boggart, but the point is is that it is. he is terrified of that man. 

4. james only joined the order because his wife was a muggleborn and he ‘had to’

this is just factually incorrect. james had been sticking up for muggleborn rights since he was in school, far before he started dating or even became friends with lily: 

“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

“I’d NEVER call you a - you-know-what!”

so this is literally not true!! plus, at least he did join the order, whatever his reasons where (which were canonically good). snape didnt join the order. snape was friends with someone who suffered discrimination in society, and instead of using his privilege to help her and support her, he joined a group that was set on murdering people like her. when james had a friend who underwent oppression (remus/lycanthropy) you know what he did? he illegally became an animagus. 

5. snape had to be a death eater to survive at hogwarts as he roomed with blood supremacists

this is the shittiest excuse i have ever seen in my entire life. as a poc, this comment really reminds me of the argument ‘i was raised in a racist white household! i cant control my beliefs!’

you can always control your beliefs. i understand not going on big rants about blood inequality in front of a bunch of supremacists, and i understand wanting to blend and fit in (especially because he was unpopular and needed the support the slytherin boys provided), but i will never understand then becoming an active member of the group yourself. he got the dark mark. he helped voldemort. he was a death eater, and a proud one at that! no-one forced him to join. this argument literally makes my blood boil. 

6. snape had a lot of trauma from being raised in an abusive household

okay? so did sirius. so did neville. luna was bullied at school, just like snape. harry lived in an abusive household. did any of those people bully children? did any of those people join a blood supremacist group? and dont get me wrong, im not calling any of these people perfect - they all had a lot of flaws - but none of them hurt another people to the extreme that snape did. 

7. snape saved the trio’s lives many times

this is the absolute bare minimum. ‘oh wow, he didnt let harry die!! what a king! he should be respected and praised! we should excuse all of his other actions because he didnt let people die <3′ 

8. snape is not a perfect person, he also did good that many people overlook

you’re right, snape did do some good things in his life. but unfortunately, for me and many others, doing a couple of good things doesnt excuse all of the shitty, abusive things he did too. we’re not ignoring them - we just dont think they’re good enough reasons to forgive him. 

‘but james and sirius hurt others! you ignore all the bad things they did in favour of the good!’ you do the same thing with snape, first of all. second, they did a lot of good stuff. james’ and sirius’ only crimes were being annoying. for being a bit of a dick, conceited, knew they were hot and were a bit entitled. while these things are annoying as fuck, they were also stupid teens that eventually grew out of their behaviour and became better people. not perfect! better. while snape just stayed bitter at the marauders, long after their deaths, and even took his anger out on an innocent child. 

9. people only hate snape because he was poc and queer coded

as a poc and queer person, please stop. this is a very bad excuse. being poc and queer (which im pretty sure he isnt, but anyway) doesnt excuse you from your actions. plus, a huge amount of harry potter readers are poc and lgbtq. why would they hate snape for those reasons?! 

so thats all i got for today. im not gonna go into a deep snily/jily thing because i literally cannot be bothered. anyway im done. i need to go revise, i’ve already spent long enough on this. 

[blookmallow]

hi i binged through all of salad fingers for the first time in like 8 years and im fixating again here are. My Theories. pls talk to me if anyone else has Thoughts or wants to discuss things. this is really long i am sorry :’ ) 

also shout out to the salad fingers wiki for helping me keep track of details and also for this 

-----

thought: salad fingers is not violent on purpose he did not mean to kill that kid 

this is less a theory and more “if you slander my boy with accusations i will Get you” but listen. i see people going “but he mURDERED A CHILD!!” because of the oven incident but listen. listen to me. he didnt mean to and cannot be held to the same standard of morality and understanding consequences as a. person who isn’t..... in whatever situation and mental state he has going on

- yes, the kid getting trapped in the oven was his fault. but it was not intentional or malicious and i sincerely doubt he understands what happened or why. 

he was asking for help reaching the fish (there’s no reason to believe he wasn’t just genuinely asking for help. he tears up in gratitude. theres no evidence of him Tricking People Maliciously in any other context i do not believe he would do that) and was distracted by the rusty nail, causing him to let go of the door. it wasn’t “he cares more about rust than about a child’s life” or something, i dont think he can actually hold “hey look at that i gotta check that out” and “i need to hold the door open so the child doesn’t get hurt” in his head at the same time, rust is his favorite stim/an impulse thing that takes over everything else and his perception of reality and the things going on around him changes very quickly and easily. more on that later. but the important point here is it wasn’t a malicious plot, or a neglectful careless action, he literally did not realize letting go of the door would cause harm 

he stabbed himself accidentally with the nail and passed out for a while (the fact that he immediately bled that much is concerning too, he probably has hemophilia which is. a medical condition outside of his control, as well) and after all that he had completely forgotten about the child altogether (and says “i must have dozed off” so he doesn’t even understand he passed out. and might not remember the nail thing in the first place) 

we don’t see what happened after this, we don’t know how he responds when he investigates the fish and inevitably finds an unexpected charred corpse in there, but i guarantee he won’t remember why its in there or understand that its a corpse. we dont see it again so its. entirely possible he didnt recognize it as a person and either just disposed of it or, uh, ate it. but if he did, it wasn’t with the knowledge and comprehension of it being A Corpse or the memory of how it got there 

theory: on salad fingers and memory / comprehension of death and consequences 

more on that subject

- we see him frequently doing things and then immediately forgetting he did it or forgetting what was happening. he accidentally squishes the bug (which also was not malicious or intentional, he intended to pet it but just. went too hard) and has no understanding either that its dead, or that he killed it. she has gone flat and gooey for some unknown reason. that’s strange. she needs to go have a wash, that’s no way to be. 

he eats the jeremy fisher puppet at one point and then immediately goes “where have you gotten to??” 

he even briefly forgets hubert cumberdale’s name and immediately comes up with another one without realizing it, and then later goes back to hubert cumberdale again with no mention of barbara logan-price 

he refers to the same little yellow guy as “young child” and also Auntie Bainbridge later on. he keeps up the fantasy of... whatever the fuck yvonne was being his child for a pretty long time but then when he arrives at “auntie bainbridge” ‘s house he suddenly forgets why he’s there, and even apparently forgets what yvonne is and uses  ‘her’ as a window rag instead and never mentions it again (I also don’t think she was in the sandwich at the end either. it’s hard to see but the sandwich contents are vaguely brown and theres a visible lump in the black goo behind him. i like the idea that the lil yellow guy made the sandwich for him) 

salad fingers is constantly subconsciously adjusting his reality to fit Whatever Makes The Most Sense At The Time and does not consistently remember things (sometimes even major things. he remembers his puppets the most consistently and still even forgets hubert’s name) or have a concept of cause and effect 

i think he possibly has some sense of recognition, “I’ve seen this person before,” but doesn’t always remember Why he knows them, and his mind just automatically fills in the blank with whatever makes sense to him. he doesn’t remember who the yellow guy is, but knows he knows them Somehow, so, ah, of course, it must be auntie bainbridge out for her sunday stroll :) and he knows he’s there for a reason, but not what that reason was, so he decides it must be time to clean the windows 

- milford cubicle was already dead when salad fingers opens the door, but he has no idea that hes dead. this isn’t even a cause for concern. my, he must be tired, that’s all. he kept milford there until he rotted away, too, so there was never a point where he realized anything was wrong (until he became skeleton. more on That later too) 

- he finds a corpse buried in the yard and rather than confronting the confusing and alarming reality of that situation, why it must be kenneth, back from the great war! at no point does he understand kenneth is definitely dead

theory: kenneth vs glass brother

i think he really did have a brother named kenneth who probably died in the war. could be some subconscious connection between “recognizing” a corpse as his brother, but i dont think he realizes any of that. i think the glass family is probably a trauma based hallucination, but a... well, reflection. pun not exactly intended lmao. on how his real family was and how they treated him

i dont think glass brother is the same brother as kenneth, since salad fingers interacts with them completely differently 

kenneth is a corpse that salad fingers projects a personality on and speaks for, while glass brother seems independent and malicious toward him. i think he had a good relationship with kenneth (so, when salad fingers imagines that he’s here, it’s cause for celebration and he’s projecting onto something inert and “safe”) and also had another brother (who was probably his twin) who bullied him and acted violently, so when that trauma resurfaces, he hallucinates a vicious Other that he cannot control or speak for.

it also tracks that the abusive brother was his twin - he sees himself reflected in the mirror, and something in his own face reminds him of that lost brother until it “becomes” him

he refers to kenneth as his younger brother, and sees him as a being that does not look like him, while glass brother is literally his reflection, so it would make sense if he had one identical twin and one younger brother 

ive seen theories that he had a real sister named bordois too, but i think him calling the bug “little sister” was just. a term of endearment or one of his little odd language quirks, he seemed to be talking to it more like a pet than like a sibling 

theory: regarding mable

- ok people are saying salad fingers killed mable at the picnic but i Really Don’t Think He Did

we never see him acting out violently when he gets scared. he tends to try to escape situations that stress him out, he shrinks, he cries, he goes into his cupboard (which is. incredibly upsetting given the fact he was almost definitely abused by his family) 

he takes on a kind of Authoritative Tone often, he gets sort of ruffled up and disdainful toward things, but that’s not what he does when he’s scared

when he’s actually distressed (rather than irritated) he tends to break down and retreat. this includes when other independent beings act in ways that unsettle and upset him 

so i dont know where the “he freaked out and killed her” idea is coming from. he suddenly goes from outside at the picnic to having a breakdown in his house so. he most likely just ran 

i think the Only time we see him act out violently is when he decides he has to punish marjory for not getting a haircut like he asked - he tears her hair out, but for me that scene was particularly concerning because it was so unlike him. that was an anger response, not a fear response, though, and he tends to be harsher toward things that he’s actually controlling (I don’t think we ever see him decide to Discipline something that was independent from him other than the horses, and he didnt hurt them) 

ordinarily when something irritates him he just goes “hmph! so distasteful. how rude. i shan’t have this behavior, you know” but doesn’t really actually do anything about it, and moves on

anyway we never see mable again so i think either he freaked out and ran away and she just didn’t come back, or he scared her and she ran away, or both 

there’s a dress visible briefly when salad fingers is making his Flesh Boy which could be mable’s (he did comment he liked it) but it’s not 100% clear, and that doesn’t necessarily mean he KILLED her for it. she could have changed into something else and left it somewhere and he found it. she could have died under unrelated circumstances, and salad fingers found her - he doesn’t comprehend death, so. probably he decided they’ve made amends now and she’s given him her dress as a token of friendship, or something 

i dont think it really looks that significantly like hers but the fact that it stands out so distinctly from the rest of the Pile could mean something 

but i just feel like if he had killed her we would’ve seen her corpse again, he doesn’t have a concept of murder, or death at all, or consequences, and his memory doesn’t hold out that consistently, so if he killed her, he probably would have calmed down later and then forgotten what he did and came up with a new way to explain the corpse in front of him - oh, how rude of me, mable’s here dozing right off and i havent even offered her a blanket. let’s get you to bed

like, he probably would have dragged her home with him, with the intention of being a good friend/host to his guest, not understanding what happened. he kept milford cubicle around a really long time  

it wouldn’t be like him to have any concept of hiding the evidence

speaking of milford 

theory: regarding milford cubicle 

salad fingers keeps milford’s corpse around until it starts rotting, and then after a very confusing series of events, the corpse is suddenly a skeleton, which surprisingly alarms salad fingers considerably, and then he goes out to find a whole bunch of himselves eating various bits of gore. they give him a present, which is a hat very clearly made of milford’s skin 

my conclusion: salad fingers, in some kind of dissociative fugue state, skinned and ate the remains of milford cubicle himself and turned the remaining skin into a hat. he also saves some of it to make hubert cumberdale (the real boy) later as well, probably forgetting where it came from. he does not realize he’s done this or remember doing it, so his scrambled mind tries to make sense of it with other selves eating unknown flesh, and a lovely hat appearing (which he doesn’t seem to notice is made of flesh) 

you can also see milford’s original name tag in the drawer later on when he’s building the flesh boy, so. he kept that after the mysterious disappearance of milford’s flesh, apparently. more evidence that that skin is probably also his

some other scattered thoughts regarding the most recent string of episodes and salad fingers’ mental state: 

ive been trying to figure out what the fuckhell happened with the yvonne incident and everything that happened in the birthday episode

im really concerned for salad fingers’ health and mental state, as it seems to be deteriorating 

some yvonne theories ive seen:

1. he ate the burned corpse of the kid who died in the oven, and it made him very sick, which ultimately resulted in a charred mass he couldn’t digest - he steadily gets worse, until his body finally ejects it (yvonne’s “birth”) and after that his health starts to recover again. since the oven incident happens really early on, all the times he mentions his stomach being upset after that until he becomes deathly ill would make sense, so i think this is plausible 

2. the hair he found in the cupboard was actually a parasitic worm that grew in his stomach after he ate it and became yvonne. i think this is Possible, it is a really strangely wormy looking hair, but it doesn’t move and he mentions stomach pains before this, so it seems less likely to me 

3. i also saw the concept that salad fingers is a trans man who suffered a miscarriage at some point in his past and yvonne represents that, and i can definitely see where the idea is coming from but i do think something really physically happened to him in the present time, i dont think it was all a trauma-based hallucination, since the yellow guy reacts to the black ooze and something was definitely making him severely ill 

so. i Don’t Know what the fuck that was about but i think the burnt corpse theory makes the most sense 

on that note: there’s a lot of cannibalism imagery in salad fingers 

we have no IDEA where he’s getting food from. im pretty sure its been confirmed that he is Not a zombie, we see him bleed, pass out, sleep, etc so it seems like he must be a living person who has ordinary needs. but we see him eat... his own puppets. hairs. sand. the soup glass mother instructed him to make, which made him very sick. he has a working oven but doesn’t seem to have consistent access to water. he had a fish somehow but who knows where it came from. it’s very likely he doesn’t get food often and some of his hallucinations and mood swings could be caused by starvation (and when he does eat, it’s things that are outright inedible or probably not good for him) 

the burned corpse disappears and is never mentioned again (though salad fingers is very sick afterward). milford’s flesh disappears and salad fingers violently hallucinates multiple selves gorging themselves on unknown flesh

and what concerns me the most about that is that he loses a lot of time in that episode 

he passes out in the woods and when he wakes up, it looks like a shit ton of time has passed

we don’t know how much is reality and how much is his warped perception, but it looks like a tree has grown and his physical condition has deteriorated 

he looks really, really unhealthy and haggard for the rest of the episode 

i think he had a huge dissociative episode and lost possibly weeks of time, probably due to starvation, and he ate milford cubicle and very possibly other people as well 

so my question is. how often does this happen to him

and what happens to him during that state? does he become violent and dangerous without being aware of it when he returns to himself again? or has he just been ravenously scavenging corpses when he gets desperate enough? 

its possible dr papanak is another personality he has, one that’s “buried out in the woods” that he becomes when he’s in a really, really bad mental and physical state 

he looks much better in the next episode (though that’s also when he has his outburst with marjory. could be that he’s still staving off the violent urges/hasn’t fully come back to himself after the last incident) and I’m really hoping the fact that he was able to finally stand up to his family (at least in some sense) and smash the mirrors could mean he’s making steps toward recovery after whatever the hell all that was 

there’s not really much space to do anything with his life or get much help given the circumstances but watching him slowly losing himself even more is Awful :( 

i hope we get more episodes im so desperate for more information now 

lastly, some random observations 

i tried to read this newspaper and it looks like it’s actually written in french, which is interesting given that salad fingers seems to be british (but fond of france, and seems to speak french or at least knows one phrase) 

i wonder where he got this, or whether it ever meant something significant to him

theres a lot of evidence that he can’t read (takes no notice of the “harry” nametag and immediately names him something else, “reads” a letter that is actually a newspaper clipping in another language he’s holding upside down, “writes” a letter that is just scribbles) so i dont think he learned his one french phrase from this or anything but, still. vaguely interesting. maybe he has been to france before and brought this back with him for some reason. maybe he’s actually in post apocalyptic france and was just originally from england. We Don’t Know 

theres a weird little face in the. heater? whatever that is in the background for a second and i dont like it  

salad fingers leaves horace in charge, but then sees him (as a live horse) in the woods, but then comes back to find him both still on the shelf (as a toy) and in the room (as a live horse, now with his, uh, surgery scars) but doesn’t seem to notice this and doesn’t comment on it 

i dont know what the hell that means other than possibly his reality is even less consistent and logical than usual/a reflection on his mental state deteriorating 

[the-bjd-community-confess]

I'm saying this as a person that's also neurodivergent- some of you guys need to keep far away from the hobby. It's so obvious that some people have spending disorders, stress disorders that make them spend money, or something else, and they are using BJDs like some kind of band-aid on a giant wound. It's not gonna fix anything. Some of you guys spend so much money for a moment of happiness and then financially cripple yourself just for that simple moment, or worse, you project yourself into the hobby so much it's like your digging a ditch.

There's a difference between having a hobby and BECOMING your hobby. Please for the love of god get actually therapy instead of unhealthily enjoying the hobby. I know a lot of people are like "if you enjoy yourself that's all that matters :D" but like so many of you are under the illusion that youre enjoying bjds when all you are doing is just obsessing over the hobby and completely isolating yourself with BJDs. It's not normal to breath in and breath out only bjds, it's not normal to know all the latest pettiest drama in the hobby about everyone, and it's not normal to spend so much money on dolls you dont have enough for food, rent, ect. You are ruining yourself. You guys honestly just remind me when I was at my lowest- I have 0 friends or anyone even remotely close to me, I could barely get out of bed before and after work, and my only save and grace was youtube. I was so isolated from everything and everyone that my whole world was Youtube- so I was the asshole that sent death threats to people who got called out for being "a bad person".

I was the person that made and supported callouts and "cancelations" of people who did very minor things. When I see all these people getting heated up over this hobby over stupid things like "P0povy dolls are supporting eating disorders because they have super skinny dolls >:(","If you own a doll from company X you're also ableist/racist/ect because you're supporting that company", "This sculpt looks too much like this sculpt! IT's a recast/ripoff, ect", and ESPECIALLY the recast debate (Not trying to make the whole point of this recasts but whooo boy, let your money do the talking , dont fucking dox, bully, or ostracize people just for owning a fucking bootleg doll), it just reminds me of my sad little depressed fucking self making my whole world youtube.

PLEASE for your own sake and others, get fucking therapy. Stop using this hobby as a psychological outlet because it's not. Don't use the community and real people as your fucking punching bags. Calling out Cvlur for not giving promised goods is fine! But telling someone they support the amounts of abuse and death people in Hong Kong have faced from the Chinese just because they bought from some shitty doll company is just... LAYERS of unhealthy. It's on the same level of stupid as "you like murder in fiction? you must want to kill people in real life :/"  It's always extremes with you people. Learn to cope properly with your problems, get help, step off from the community, or seriously leave BJDs as a whole until you get better.  The behavior you guys show is just not healthy and seeing people band-wagon on others for the stupidest shit makes me almost forget that this is an adult hobby.

~Anonymous

[aliensunflower-fics]

In Defense of Salt AND Sugar: Aka ML Fandom pls chill out.

So I don’t talk much as those who follow me will say I tend to just stick to myself and my own things. HOWEVER, Ive gotten a lot of asks about why I write both Salt and Sugar for Miraculous Ladybug.

The short answer: Both salt and sugar are valid, fun, intriguing things to read and write and the point of writing is to entertain and be entertained.

The long answer: Salt isn’t inherently someone hating on your fav show and sugar isn't someone necessarily giving it a free pass either. Ya’ll are just dramatic as hell.

The LONGER answer:

I write salt because I LIKE Miraculous Ladybug, BUT the show has not lived up to its potential AT ALL. The show could be so much better and the characters are so flawed or full of holes that occasionally I feel FRUSTRATED and mad!

I hate that Alya a character who I was so excited about, gets shafted ignored, sidelined, or written like a jerk! She could have been this great detective working alongside her friend to unmask the villain, but instead she often comes across as pushy, obsessed with Ladynoir or Adrinette, and so damn easily tricked. Not to mention how when shes not gushing over her ‘ships’ shes pushed to the side and ignored. [or you know... LILA]

I hate that Marinette’s crush makes her do things that are so cringy and awkward i feel ill I hate that she’s constantly the only one making mistakes and ‘learning lessons’ when the show has all these other great characters that could use the spotlight and be the ones learning lessons. I hate that she’s so jealous and that she cant ever seem to catch a break as if the show is punishing her constantly.

I HATE that Adrien is a mary sue, how the writers say hes perfect and treat him as such, I hate that he gets to guilt Marinette into fixing everything and dealing with bullies, I wanted a funny, Ron Stoppable, naive boy who learns about real friendships and grows into a great partner. Instead he gets to be pushy and downright a jerk as Chat Noir ignoring his responsibilities, guilting Ladybug with his feelings, never taking no as an answer. He’s not a good role model for kids.

I hate that Chloe got built up to have a redemption arc several times only for the writers to decide that Chloe a teenage girl who needs some serious therapy [and actual reasonable punishment for her actions] is worse than Gabriel child abuse Agreste. She could have been a great lesson on compassion and growth and dealing with your own pain without hurting others. Instead the writers wrote her off completely.

And dont get me started on how the show treats Nino, Kagami, Luka and the rest of the cast. They may as well be a backdrop for the forced love square that we NEVER get a break from. Seriously I’m a sucker for romance but does it need to be EVERY damn episode?! Can’t we just get some wholesome friendship between everyone including Adrien and Marinette at this point like COME ON.

And i’m not even touching on the white washing, awful lessons on responsibility and forgiveness, awful lessons on well so much other stuff really, the guilt trips, the teacher, the fact that she show could be used to teach kids how to better handle negative emotions and the importance of open communication and not keeping quiet about injustice and/or your feelings but instead decided that the main priority should be a love square that gets force fed to us EVERY SINGLE EPISODE.

My point is the show has FLAWS. That doesn’t mean its the worse show ever and it doesn’t mean its not fun, and has a great premise and characters, and so when I write Salt I write it because i’m frustrated! Im frustrated with the show, with the characters, with the writing and so I vent that out with salt I write those characters as their worst selves because I cant stand how the show has decided to treat them and Im ANGRY and disappointed.

It feels good to write salt and to read it. It’s nice to see characters get called out for bad behavior, its nice to read about Adrien not getting the girl. Its nice to occasionally indulge in salt because it validates that the show is flawed and lets you get out that frustration.

BUT ON THE FLIP SIDE

Miraculous Ladybug is a lovely show. It’s a show that decided to give little girls a FEMALE HERO. And not just as a side kick or background character! No they made her the protagonist! Its so important to me that little girls see good well rounded female characters in media.

And even if the show is clumsy about it they are TRYING to build an expansive lore that tickles the theorist brain. And gets people invested in the world.

The show also made Marinette shy, and awkward, and clumsy something a lot of girls deal with during puberty as growing up can literally make you clumsier as your body adjusts. Having a character who tries to be positive and tries to find solutions who solves things with creativity instead of pure violence. Thats LOVELY for young girls to see.

Growing up I loved and admired Kim Possible, and probably would have loved Marinette, even if the shows not perfect I can admit its trying and I can see why people love it as much as they do! And why they write these fluffy sugary fics its the reason I WRITE fluffy sugary things.

Because even though I am frustrated and angry and disappointed with the show, I still see Alya’s potential and how great she is as representation to little girls who want a black female superhero so I write fluff where Alya’s loyalty, compassion, cleverness and her pursuit of justice are center stage.

I see how Adrien could be better and I want him to be better and I WANT him to be the naive funny comic relief the Ron Stoppable to Marinette’s Kim Possible. I want Adrien to grow and learn and spit in his dad’s face I want him to overcome the abuse and be happy. To show people that neglect and abuse doesn’t mean you will get stuck like that forever, that you can overcome that and be a better kinder person.

I want Nino and Kagami, and Luka and Chloe and the class to grow and get attention and have funny moments I want to laugh and make other people laugh! So I write prompts focused around comedy and shenanigans and where the characters get to be fun and silly and make decisions for themselves!

SO IN CONCLUSION:

I write salt AND sugar. I see the value and merit in both sides of the coin, and I respect how other people see the show. I know its easy to get angry with other people in the fandom who see the show differently then you do but please can we put down the weapons and just BREATHE.

Someone who writes salt might LOVE the same show as you, and they might in fact love it so much that they vent their frustrations in angst and salt and cracky fics. Let them vent about how they wish the show was better, leave their tags alone or block them if you cant stand to see it. But dont attack salt writers for ‘hating on your show’ when they might love it just as much as you do but want a way to vent out their feelings.

On the flip someone who writes sugar might NOT be forgiving the show for its flaws, they might see all the same flaws as you but decide to take that frustration and write fluff and fix it fics and sugar because they want to indulge in a version of their favorite show where everything is just... OK. Where everyone is well written and happy and the character development sticks. Stay out of their tags let them have their sugar, they aren't writing it to hurt you just like you don't write salt to hurt them.

So ENOUGH. Enough hunting each other down, enough sending each other hate, enough filling each others tags. Let people write SALT if they feel angry and vengeful and disappointment, let them have their tags, let them explore the dark side of the characters, let them rant and rave and be HURT when the characters they love upset them with their actions. Its not your place to tell them to stop, to tell them their feelings are invalid, to tell them that ‘adrien is sweet sunshine boy how dare you’ or ‘alya would never’ or ‘i hate your marinette leaves dupont au’. Just leave it be, heed the tags, and let it go.

AND ENOUGH. Enough hunting each other down, enough sending each other hate, enough filling each other tags. Let people write SUGAR if they just want something to feel happy about. Let them makes coffee shop au’s, let them make fix it fics where everything is just happy without needing 8 pages of backstory for why everything is just happy. Let them squeal and gush and talk about the ship they like and the fluff they see. Its not your place to argue with them that the show is flawed, its not cool to ruin their fun by accusing them of not understanding the flaws, to tell them ‘umm actual this character shouldn’t get to be happy’ or ‘wow this is so shallow’. Just leave it be, heed the tags, and let it go.

PS: Now with that said and done. I do have one final message for everyone - If you write/enjoy pedophilia, if you sexualize KIDS. Then get the fuck out of fandom spaces, stop fucking following me, and do everyone salt and sugar a favor by LEAVING. Your pedophilia and child sexualization aint wanted, aint ok, and I will fight you.

PSS: IF YOU HATE WHAT IVE SAID ABOUT SUGAR AND SALT FINE OK I RESPECT YOU REGARDLESS. ENJOY THE SHOW, STAY CLASSY, DONT HURT PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT OPINION.

[liquidstar]

something the latest chapter of kaguya-sama made me realize is just how much better all of the characters are doing in their lives now because of their friendships with each other, and i just think thats so sweet.

kaguya herself used to be absolutely miserable and never smile, but then chika made her be her friend and miyuki made her join the student council and over time she became so much more open and happy, you really see just how important all her friends are to her when she’s afraid that she might lose all the pictures of them she’s taken, they absolutely melted this former ice queen’s heart. through the series she gets more and more warm and acts more like a typical happy girl. the ending song for the second season also makes it really obvious that she sees her friends as her happy place, an escape from her terrible home life, she really does love them so much. in the latest chapter she makes it so clear that her friendship with chika is just as important to her as her relationship with miyuki, and that the only reason she didn’t tell her was that she was afraid chika would be mad that she has a new special person in her life, but because chika loves her friend so much she’s nothing but happy to see her finally have more special people in her life too.

and miyuki of course has gotten a lot better when it comes to accepting his flaws and not seeing himself as a failure, he only ever initially drops this facade around chika who becomes sort of like, a mom friend to him, and since a lot of his issues stem from his mom abandoning him its really important for him to see that not everyone will. and later on its much more directly addressed between him and kaguya he becomes much more able to be happy with who he is and not push himself so much or be afraid that people will leave him for not being perfect. not to mention his friendship with ishigami who he actually confides a lot of his issues in, despite the fact that he gets his relationship advice from manga, but the scene of them laying down under the tree and just talking, while very funny, is still a really sweet moment. his relationship with kei is also very big, because thats his sister, but he also sort of fills the role their mother usually would have for her. and though she’s annoyed by it, its really important for her because its implied that when she was with her mom she wasnt exactly treated well, she ran away to be with her father and brother for a reason, and kaguya was the one that actually gave her the strength to do so so it all comes back full circle. 

but chika has her own issues too, she seems like a very simple character, a typical genki girl. but she was a musical prodigy as a child, winning award after award. and yet she was so unhappy with that very ridged life, she had no freedom and all she did was practice. you can see it in her eyes in the flashbacks, despite the praise and trophies her eyes were were so dead and she was so different from the happy carefree chika we know. but then kaguya sort of became the straw that broke the camel’s back that forced her to quit, and it wasnt really out of kindness at first, but their friendship ultimately is what made her become the chika we know, the one who loves to laugh and play, its like she’s making up for lost time and finally getting to be a kid with all her friends. she is very much the gifted child who lost her childhood because of it, but she’s so much happier now. not to mention her friendship with the table-top board game club! its not given as much focus but you can really see her thrive in something she’s truly passionate in now, she loves making games and playing them with her friends!

ishigami’s whole thing can be pretty heavy, its played off as a joke at first but he legitimately is explicitly suicidal, but hes able to get better with the power of friendship. miyuki was very literally portrayed as a light coming into his life when he first enters his room to save him from his isolation. even before that though, miko also helped him, even if he didnt realize it, she was the one that advocated for him not to be held back a year which prompted the student council to look into his case and help him too. he has to get over a lot of his anxieties, at first he’s even afraid of kaguya, but he warms up to her over time too and they develop a pretty sweet relationship with her as his sort of tutor. and very critically, he joins the cheer squad. he actually put himself out there and made “normie” friends and it turns out it wasnt so scary after all. and his crush on tsubame is so important, because she rejects him, but they stay friends. he never once feels like she owes him anything or “friendzoned” him, even if it hurt to be rejected he wanted to be friends. she was really afraid of losing her friend that she loves so much, those feelings of platonic love arent in any way seen as lesser. and she helps him in the end by making sure the school knows that hes actually a nice guy and that means the world to him. theyre still friends and that relationship is important to both of them.

similarly though, ishigami also helped miko before they were even friends without her realizing it. he saw how much she was struggling with the constant bullying and decided to leave her a note to tell her that it gets better, and it was an incredibly important thing that stuck with her for a long time. their entire relationship is defined as “two people who secretly help each other” because theyre both hold such high personal morals that they dont expect good deeds to have to be pointed out or repaid. and then when she ran in the election, miyuki helped her get over her stage fright so people wouldn’t make fun of her anymore, and because he’s such a nice guy he even offered her a seat in the student council where she’d make a bunch of new friends, and despite going through sort of a rough patch she’s still ultimately far more confident than she’s ever been and she’s absolutely ready to become the president next year now, finally achieving her goal. and her relationship with miyuki becomes very sweet as they develop their relationship in the “senpai-kun and kohai-chan” chapters where they just bond as friends, often through her weird emo poetry but he supports her despite being terrified of it. 

hayasaka is one of the most loaded characters in the series despite not being in the student council. the arc that focuses around her is even titled “ai hayasaka’s friends” because they’re what help her out of her situation. since she was a child she was used as a pawn by the shinomiya family, not unlike kaguya herself, and she considers kaguya to be like her precious little sister. but she’s also been manipulated into betraying kaguya by becoming a spy for her abusive family. and the amount of guilt she feels over it is so painful to watch, but she’s too afraid to do anything about it. when kaguya finally finds out, she’s not instantly forgiven, but for the first time in kaguya’s life she wants to forgive someone who betrayed her, and they talk it out, and they can finally become proper friends just like they always both dreamed of. her friendship with miyuki is interesting too, because they have a clash of ideals about not letting your “true self” be seen by people, because they wont love you anymore, and despite miyuki arguing against it, it very much is an idelogy he shared at the time. but when she finally does show her true self she’s loved, and in the valentines chapter she confesses to him, not out of love, but out of friendship. she asks him to be her friend, and her circle of friends just grows from there with all her facaudes dropped.

all of their arcs just play into the greater overall theme of the series, which just comes down to honesty and vulnerability with the people youre close to, the series may be a romance but it places such important emphasis on all its characters relationships and how they can make each other better, its so nice. theyre just friends and they care each other. 

[loser-writings]

Kazuichi Souda Headcanons

{@sally-wonders​} (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ I JUST SAW THE DANGANRONPA STUFF AND I AM SCREAMING! dlsfhlfhksg I dont even know where to start, so, at first I was wondering if you have any headcanons for my man Kazuichi, I love him so much! I always wondered how he would be into an actually relationship, because the inflatuation he had with Sonia was a thing, but also serving to compensate in his low self steam, even if he was an ultimate, he also has the historic of abuse and bully by their piers and all  with the sharp teeth and pink hair to try and look cool and all that as well, also he would have to deal with all that happened in dispair island (what wouldnt i give to know how they dealt with that man :'3), especially acepting the fact that Sônia does not like him. Because of the whole dream girl with blonde hair and he kinda projects this idea of her instead of herself. Jqrjjgwrj sorry I babble a lot hehe

I hope you enjoy this long list of a variety of headcanons. These may not hit all of the points you were asking, but I hope this is satisfactory!

・・・・✪General Headcanons✪ ・・・・

Kazuichi is a very anxious person so he is constantly fiddling with something. Little electronics, his wrench or tools he has on hands, or his fingers. If he can’t mess with something, his anxiety goes through the roof.

He can read in English! He taught himself how to read English so he could read American comic books before they’re officially translated. He also can understand English since he watched so many English action movies. He can speak it, but it can be broken and his accent is very strong.

He can actually sew. Since he learned by watching his mom, he can fix and alter clothing. He can also sew and throw together blankets and stuffed animals. He actually owns a small sewing machine. It isn’t expensive or amazing by any means, but it can get the job done.

He spends a large chunk of his money on keeping up with his hair and keeping his contacts in check. His hair grows extremely fast so his roots show, and he has a horrible habit of sleeping in his contacts since he can’t stand his glasses. 

When you catch him off guard, he just lies about what he is doing. He doesn’t mean to, but it is just a natural reaction since his dad would get mad at him no matter what his answer was. Because of this, you have to give him a moment to calm down and go through the 3 different answers he has before he can actually say what’s going on. This also happens if he is on his computer or his phone. He naturally hides the screen, even if he is just looking at car parts or how to fix a certain thing.

He can be a bit perverted and oblivious to somebody's flaws if he finds himself becoming attracted to them. Despite this, he is honestly quite the sweetheart and would have a heart attack if somebody were to return his feelings. 

He has pretty bad trust issues and this can cause tension between him and others. This also causes him to believe things that aren’t always true based off of his distrust alone.

He doesn’t actually like his appearance, even after he changed it. He originally changed it to keep away bullies and get the attention of women, but when he looks in the mirror, he doesn’t exactly like it. He didn’t mind his black hair or his normal eye color, he just hated his glasses.

Will flinch if someone raises their hand at him because of his fathers past abuse. He can’t help but flinch, and this is horrible with men who are taller than him. Safe to say that Gundhams mannerisms and weird poses aren't appreciated.

・・・・✪Relationship Headcanons✪ ・・・・

As stated before if someone were to return his feelings, he would be so lost on what to do. He never had anybody treat him with much kindness and the fact that someone he admires likes him back is just mind boggling to him.

I headcanon him personally to be Bisexual. He may have a physical lea for women, but he does find himself genuinely attracted to men as well (@Hajime) I think the big thing that decides if he likes you or not is if he thinks he can trust you.

Due to the past abuse and issues regarding friends and classmates, he would need constant reassurance. He will have sudden doubts and will become extremely anxious at the idea of you leaving him for a variety of reasons. He will ask if you want him to change his appearance or something about his personality, and it never fails that he is shocked if you say you love how he is.

He can sometimes get lost in his childlike fantasies. He will change his personality at times and make himself believe things that aren’t true. The best thing to do when this happens is to just give him a quick kiss on the cheek and remind him that you are you, and not some fantasy. He will apologize and snap out of it (For the most part)

He isn’t the best at initiating things. He would do better with someone who is more willing to make the first move. Be the one to grab his hand to hold it, Open your arms so he can snuggle against your chest, Cup his cheeks to pull him into a sweet kiss, Open the door for him and press your hand against his lower back in public areas so he feels more calm. He really would appreciate it.

Some of his favorite dates are the ones that result in tons of affection. Building blanket forts before having an action movie marathon is his favorite thing. It always results in the two of you tangled impossibly close to each other. If he is the one being held, having you play with the messily chopped locks instantly has him weak. He will rest against your chest while watching the movies, looking up to steal kisses and nip at your exposed skin in an attempt to steal your attention away from the screen. If he is the one holding you, your hair will be played with and expect him to caress your body a lot. If he gets distracted from the movie, he will let his eyes and hands wonder. It’s not in a perverse way, but more curious. 

He actually studies how your body moves and how you feel. He is the kind of guy who is very interested in seeing how your “Parts” move and how things work. It’s not perverted (Usually) but instead it’s very sweet in an unusual way. He will find out unusual things he loves about you by watching how you move. Like how you stretch to reach things on a tall shelf, or how your body curls up into itself when your cold. Just how you move and your body language is something that always has Kazuichi staring. 

If he can’t be with you physically, expect many phone calls and video calls. He calls you every time he misses your voice or feels himself starting to get anxious. The most common phone calls become the ones that happen before bed. Kazuichi gets extremely anxious when he is alone or at his house with his dad. Because of this, it becomes a routine where he calls you before bed and falls asleep on the phone with you. If you love to sing, sing and play instruments on the phone to soothe him. If you like to read, read to him until you hear his soft snores on the other line. If you like to ramble, ramble to him as he hums along til he is asleep. 

Also don’t hang up. Seriously, he will hang up in the morning. If he has a nightmare, or something happens, he finds comfort knowing that you are right there when he needs you most. 

He doesn’t mind chasing after you, but please let him have something so he knows that all of the chasing is worth it. This is the man you go to if you want somebody to control. He just wants your love and attention, even if you are just using him. If he falls for you during the killing game, he won’t hesitate to kill for you.

・・・・✪NSFW Headcanons✪ ・・・・

Aged 18+ and Kink discussion below this post

Souda loves to leave hickeys and love bites. He thinks they’re so sexy and attractive, and will leave them all over you if you let him. He also ADORES having you mark all over him and will whine if you tease him by pulling away before a mark can be made. If you really want to make him feel loved, make heart shaped hickeys all over him. He will cry because he feels so loved.

He is a switch with a more submissive lean, but he does have his more dominant moments. If he is being submissive, expect him to whine and cry about things a lot. He can be a total brat, but its so worth it when you get to hear him moan and beg for more. He may not scream, but he is quite loud.. If he is being dominant, he growls and groans a lot. He doesn’t mean to, he just gets so caught up in the moment that he doesn’t even notice the noises he makes.

He has ended up with you in his lap in his car a few times. He just can’t help it. The most memorable time was at the drive in theater. You both were in the back and it just ended up with your hands being bound by a seat belt as he sat between your legs until he couldn’t handle waiting anymore. 

He CLEARLY is into body worship. He loves watching how you react as his hands sit and press themselves against your body. He will compliment absolutely everything about you, kissing your skin as much as possible, and let his hands and eyes do all of the work.

He is so into oral, both giving and receiving. He can sit between your legs pleasing you until you are shaking and can’t handle anymore. Just how you taste is so intoxicating with him, and he always is trying to get more. If you are sucking him off, he will pant and moan and whine the whole time. His hand is tangled in your hair or the sheets until he can’t take it any more and cums. If you swallow, he will be so turned on, but he also loves cumming on you

Kazuichi will hump and grind against anything. Your ass, your thighs, a pillow, clothing, the bed, anything. He has a high sex drive, so he has to take care of it often. Even when he is sleeping, he will grind against you if he is having a dirty dream. Hopefully you don’t mind, because he is actually quite embarrassed when this happens.

He has a fantasy of you waking him up with oral. He has quite a few dirty dreams, so the idea of you helping him out while he wakes up is a dream for him.

Praise kink. Seriously. Praise this man. He will CRY if you constantly praise him during sex. He was completely unaware of how much it would effect him during sex.

[serpents-den]

I literally said word-for-word, we aren’t talking about other good or bad things each character may have done in the series, we aren’t talking about motivations, we’re talking objective bravery, and Snape was objectively much much braver than Lupin. And then my friend said “yeah well I think the difference between us is that you only care about the things he did whereas I care what the INTENTIONS behind those things” and basically said something along the lines of “Snape was ‘brave’ because he was OBSESSED with LILY so that wasn’t REALLY bravery!” (????) “whereas Remus was motivated by wanting to do the right thing and being brave for the sake of being brave” (????) and also said that Remus being a werewolf (something he didn’t even choose) made him braver than Snape who willingly risked his life every single day for people who treated him like shit. And then when I brought up Lupin’s gaslighting and victim-blaming she was all like “welll you have to understand that that’s just him feeling insecure about the fact that he was a bad person” so I was like “so then why didn’t he apologize for it instead of acting like it never happened and boys will be boysing Harry” and then she was like “yeah I agree that he should have apologized to Snape but Snape never apologized to Remus so it’s a two-way street”

omg let me make an unnecessary long answer bc i can't believe the audacity of your friend.

INTENTIONS??? YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! intentions and courage are not interrelated, you can someone was brave without looking deep into why they did X thing. saving the saviour of the wizarding world is not something anyone would do. snape was brave, period. and even with intentions — do they realise he was never obsessed with lily? at any point?

because lets talk about the "obsession" in question, shall we?

severus and lily's friendship was already rocky by 5th year but he didn't want her hurt. the first argument that was shown to us was the "potters and bitch and so r mulciber and avery" one. in here severus starts calling her best friend. now, not everyone wants to bone their best friend. lily was his since they were nine.

and he genuinely worries about her getting with potter for very good reasons. first of all; he thought james was involved in the attempted murder black had planned for him. he didn't think james potter was a nice person, and as he was a bully, i dont know why should he.

severus and lily both fucked up in SWM but how many times severus went to apologize to lily? once and he left her alone. now that doesn't scream obsessed to me, more like normal friends behaviour.

did harry see any L.E with hearts on the advanced potion making book? no, but he did see it in james' parchment,,, that does scream obsessed to me but aHEM...

also how can you say "remus is brave" yeah he was about to leave his son fatherless and he needed a TEENAGER to regain some common sense... surely the bravest man harry has ever known, right?

lupin being a werewolf only made him more of a coward because he chose to wallow in self pity. and again, ive said this before, if u really think u r this DANGER TO SOCIETY... mm die? lupin didnt get to choose whether he wanted to be a werewolf or not but severus chose to become a spy and protect harry.

he protected harry, not lily's shadow, he did it for lily and protected her son. but it was more of a "sorry u got killed!" than "omg lily's SON HER SON OMG IM GONNA OBSESSED OVER HIM SINCE HE IS HER SON LIKE I OBSESSED OVER HER" like severus snape is a lot of things but obsessed isnt one of them, he practically becomes his nagging mother figure, he really only gives a shit if harry's in life threatening situations, the rest of the time its just him going back to a place in his mind where he feels the constant need to banter with james potter.

severus has always been brave, he was brave when he had to fight 4 vs 1 with the marauders constantly, he was brave when he endured the aftermath of SWM, he was brave when he never let the marauders win even after almost scarring him for life. severus didn't become brave when he saw lily being targeted, he didn't become brave when he saw her corpse in godric's hollow. severus snape has always been a brave man, and even harry potter who hated his teacher, was able to see it.

both severus and lupin had spent their whole lives fighting. but severus fought everyone and everything while lupin fought himself. in the end lupin thought of himself as a danger and outcast to society because its views were spoon-fed to him. severus conquered each one of his enemies. he remained in the house where he suffered abuse. he worked in the place where he had been bullied repeatedly, he went looking for harry in the place where he was almost killed, he went to the dark lord and fooled him entirely, he gave his memories to his former abuser's son. and while severus did all of that, lupin kept hating himself foolishly.

severus didn't owe lupin anything, whether he exposed his status as a werewolf because he lost the order of merlin or he resented his past abuser, it was lupin who endangered kids by not drinking his bloody potion. (potion severus BREW for him)

saying lupin is braver than snape is blasphemy, idc idc.

[pynkhues]

(1/2) Hey, I'm the anon from the last request. Just have a few follow up q's if you're alright with that (dont have a tumblr to message directly rip)? With Gerri, its strange that she's Shiv's godmother yet both Shiv and Roman dont really know her in the pilot- was there a prior schism? Also did not know about St Andrews, if its not a military school then do you think it adds another layer to the dog kennel story?

(2/2- sorry!) I get what you mean when you say he also coddles Roman but to me its the emotional detachment thats striking. Like in the car post-slapgate, its obvs awks from the slap but they also don't seem to have natural connection or conversation vs Logan and car scenes with the others. There's also the references to him beating Roman (not to say he didn't beat the others but its only Roman mentioned). I think in s3, his new status as fave son might bring up some old wounds for Roman.

(x)

Hey! Ooo, these are really great follow ups, thank you! I hope you don't mind me breaking them into sections!

Is it strange that Shiv and Roman don't really know Gerri well in the pilot?

It is strange, but I also think it's just the result of a few things being shuffled around post-pilot. Pilots are usually shot months if not a whole year before the first season is as the point of them is to sell the network on the show. In that sense, they're effectively proof-of-concept tools and so it's common for things to change. I'm not sure if you're a crossover anon, haha, but I talk a lot about Good Girls as well, and the pilot of that even had a completely different lead actress they had to do re-shoots around for 1.01.

Jesse Armstrong, the Succession showrunner, has said that a few things were shuffled around after the pilot – one of the biggest things for instance is that Roman wears a wedding ring in the pilot and Grace is supposed to be his wife (she's even listed as Grace Roy in 1.01 on IMDB!) and Isla their daughter together. They changed that after the pilot though because they thought it worked better with Grace as just his girlfriend, and Isla as Grace's daughter, not his.

I think Gerri's role in the show really bulked up between the pilot and episode 2, and that's why there's more distance between the Roy kids and Gerri in the first couple of episodes than there is later in the season. Gosh, even the fact that she's not at Logan's 80th birthday party in the pilot feels so weird now with how much they've shifted her role in the family, haha.

Rest of the answers under the cut!

Does St. Andrew's not being a military school when Roman attended add another layer to the dog kennel plot?

Yeah, I think it does, but I also think more than anything, it's reiterating what's already there. That entire subplot is really steeped in how Kendall, Roman and Connor all have different memories of this same game. For Roman it's formative, for Kendall it's just a memory of a childish game, and for Connor, it's seen as through older eyes and, more than anything, an insight into their father, not an insight into Roman and Kendall.

In a lot of ways, Roman stressing that St Andrew's was a military school when it wasn't undermines his own memory of the game, just as Connor telling him it wasn't dogfood it was chocolate cake does, just as Connor telling him he asked to be sent away does. Does that make it any less real for Roman? I don't think so. It's obviously something he's remembered as traumatic, and it resulted in a very real, tangible removal of him from Manhattan, where Kendall and Shiv stayed and went to school. Regardless of whether or not it was military school, it was a boarding school, and I think that feeling of distance and isolation was likely very real.

I'm really curious though about Connor's different stories to Kendall and Roman. He tells Roman that he asked to be sent away, and Kendall that their dad sent Roman because you separate fighting dogs and you send the weak one away so that everyone knows the hierarchy. The interesting thing though to me is that I think Connor was telling the truth in both instances, but the former does make the latter read differently.

If Roman wanted to go, it undermines Connor's memory of Logan, because Logan was not only giving Roman what he wanted, but he was giving Roman greater freedom, greater independence, greater agency at an outdoorsy boarding school that wasn't actually a military school at all. So does that mean that Logan saw Roman as the weak dog, or Kendall? Who he kept close and on a short leash in the comfort of home?

Kendall obviously takes Connor at his word, but I'm not so sure that we're supposed to as an audience. I think the story can be read in a lot of different ways, and more than anything, I think it can be read as Logan understanding that Kendall and Roman were not (and are not) the same, and needed different things as children. How that can be spun though is anyone's guess.

Are Logan and Roman emotionally distant?

That's an interesting point about the emotional distance there. I think there is and there isn't? Logan obviously dotes on Shiv and pendulums between coddling, controlling and bullying Kendall, but I think both of those things are more just indicative of really different dynamics. Roman's clearly got a 'class clown' sort of personality that Logan obviously doesn't appreciate and struggles to deal with, particularly given he's a pretty humourless guy (gosh, I think a lot about the fact that one of the only times we've seen Logan actually laugh was when the kids didn't want to see their mum, haha).

In that sense though, I think Logan doesn't understand Roman. It comes back to what I said in the other post – I actually do think Logan sees Roman's strengths, and the fact that Roman doesn't utilise them is, I think to Logan, unforgivable. Logan had to claw his way out of abject poverty through whatever it was he could get, and while Shiv, Kendall and Connor lack, I think Logan looks at Roman and sees waste.

It's why he doesn't have a stomach for the jokes, or the immaturity, and I think contributes to this failure to connect emotionally because he doesn't understand Roman in the way that he understands Shiv's rebellion and Kendall's foibles.

The aftermath of him hitting Roman is interesting too, because I actually think Logan's not trying to create distance in the aftermath, I think he's trying to re-write history to preserve his sense of self. He offers the untruth to Roman as an opening – a map for them to navigate unstable and uncertain terrain, and Roman takes it and follows his lead because he doesn't know how to navigate it either.

Does that make it right or forgiveable? Absolutely not – Logan hit his son, and trying to make everyone pretend that that never happened is an awful example of gaslighting – but I also find it really indicative of the cycle of abuse. We know that Noah was horrifically abusive to Logan, as seen by the scars on his back, and I actually get the impression that Logan tried not to be abusive to his children, but sometimes was because of his temper and his health.

Like, I think when he struck Iverson in the thanksgiving ep it was the first time he'd ever raised a hand to one of his grandchildren, especially given the reaction of people, and even hitting Roman summoned a pretty huge reaction from people, and seemed not to be something Roman was prepared for. It also I think stems back to that point of Logan not knowing how to handle Roman (or Iverson!) and resorting to violence he very quickly regrets because for a man who runs the news, he very rarely utilises words.

Logan was raised in violence, and I think it's a language he's both fluent in and has tried to reject, but one he falls back on when he can no longer communicate.

It's wrong, and awful, of course, but I think it's really interesting because I think it's deliberately a part of this broader theme with the Roy's about how fractured their communication with one another is. They don't know how to connect or talk to each other, and so frequently that breaks down into violence, whether to each other or themselves or to the collateral damage - the NRPIs.

I totally agree though that I think some Thoughts around all of this is likely to resurface for Roman in season 3, especially as Logan no doubt starts to lean on him as the new heir.

[ghost-in-the-stalls]

What are ur tilda hcs?

Okay im finally gonna answer this!! Thank you so much for asking!!! I love receiving asks and I love sharing my headcanons. Sorry again it's so late ❤❤❤

This isn't gonna be nearly as well worded and eloquent as I originally planned. The first time I wrote it it basically became a drabble about her life. And then I lost that whole draft. Lmao

I just don't have it in me to recreate that whole thing again but I still wanna share my headcanons about her because I do have a lot!

I also wanna say this is in no way to like... excuse her behavior or try and redeem her. She was a terrible person. But people aren't born terrible. And I like taking 2 dimensional fictional women and making them make sense. So this isn't to excuse but instead to explain? I guess?

cw for all the shit you expect with the minyards by now, but specifically drug addiction and statutory rape. Also this is LONG so its going under a cut.

So first of all, I imagine her and Luther as being half siblings. Their father was a preacher or something- someone with a big role in their church's community and a big reputation of being a reliable, wise, holy man.

When Luther was maybe around 3 years old, there was this teenage girl in the congregation who would often come to Mr. Hemmick for advice, guidance, comfort, etc. She didn't quite fit in in school, wasn't great at academics and struggled to keep up with her siblings achievements, and was overall going through a lot of the turmoil thats unfortunately common for teenagers.

So she, like many people in the congregation, went to Mr Hemmick for guidance and ended up seeing a lot of him. She felt listened to and believed in with him. She felt like he treated her as more mature than the way her family treated her. She trusted him. He abused that.

If you asked her at the time, she would have said it was consensual between them. But she was 16. And when she became pregnant, he turned on her REAL fast lemme tell you. He made her promise not to tell anyone that he was the father, and he only told his wife. And of course, when he told his wife, he talked at length about how this 16 year old girl tempted him to sin; how he regretted it and only hoped she could learn to truly find God.

So he took the child in upon being born as a way to "attone" for what he'd done, but the whole community (not knowing he was the father) just saw it as an act of good will. And of course he'd tout off a lot in his sermons about how he'd be able to give the baby a much better, holier lifestyle than a teenager who turned her back on god by having sex.

So he and his wife end up raising Tilda from birth, but they make sure she knows from the beginning the circumstances of her birth. They drill it into her that her mother was a dirty sinner and that she herself is tainted as a result. She is raised always feeling like she needs to be twice as good to even be considered half as good as her brother in her parents eyes.

Naturally, she stops trying pretty early. In middle school, I imaging her being one of those bullies. The really nasty ones who get violent at their victims for even looking at them wrong. Idk about anyone else, but in my schools growing up the fights between the girls were always way bloodier than the ones between the guys. And I imagine those as the types of fights she got in- especially when one of her victims decides to stand up for themselves by throwing her own baggage back in her face.

By high school, she was thoroughly committed to the role of problem child. She would do everything she could to upset her family and get herself into shit. She'd do drugs, skip classes, show up to school drunk, stay out late, etc. In addition to all this, she would purposefully find whatever guy seemed like the most trouble and take him home. Whether this was the school drug dealer, a boy who got expelled for some rough shit, or college boys who caught her eye at parties.

So she's basically dug this hole for herself where she's committed to actually being the child of sin that her family has always seen her as anyway. The few people who tried to reach out to her wouldn't get far. She would push and push at them to see how far she could stretch their patience (to see how long it took them to give up on her like everyone else).

She even had one teacher who never did give up on her. But she outright told Tilda that she can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Those words would ring in Tildas ears for years to come, even if she never found it in herself to put the concept into action.

So eventually she'd graduate- just barely because she rarely put in effort in school- and she'd be left to suddenly have to find a place in the world when she previously never even thought she'd have a future. She started batting heads with her family even more (which no one thought was possible at that point) but it became less antagonistic on her end. She was still a shit stirrer, don't get me wrong. But she was getting tired. The fights were less about her being intentionally aggrevating and aggressive and more about her continuously being unable to live up to their expectations.

Luther already had a promising job as a cop at this point, meanwhile she was still living at home and bouncing between jobs that barely kept her afloat and boyfriends that barely made her feel worth something. She'd gotten into drugs in high school, and the habit only got worse now that she was out. It was the only thing that made her feel something other than misery or numbness. She could lose herself in the drugs and the boyfriends and the late nights out. She would come home to see her parents less and less and would speak to them only when absolutely necessary.

Eventually Mr. Hemmick died fairly young (heart attack or something equally as tragic. Whatever I dont care about him enough to pick the details) and his wife followed soon after by suicide. The house was left to Luther, who moved back in immediately and said there'd be changes in the household. He basically told Tilda to quit the drugs and go back to church if she wanted to stay in the house. He also had other rules like keeping a job, dumping her current boyfriend, giving her a curfew, etc.

So she left. She took her shitty beat up car an ex had fixed up for her and headed to California. A friend from high school lived out that way, so that's where she headed.

During this period in her life the drugs got a lot worse. This is also when she realized that she had become addicted. Mainly this is because, even after being away from her family and having freedom, she was still miserable. She didn't know how to get through a day sober. The constant variation between numbness and misery was too much to bare, but she wasn't ready to help herself. She wasn't ready to commit to her own healing and health.

She was in and out of therapy and rehab as quickly as she'd change jobs and partners. She wouldn't commit, and as soon as she had an out she'd take it. Had to miss an appointment for scheduling? Didn't make it back to the shelter in time to claim her bed for the night? Forgot to call back one of the few people who tried to reach out? No going back.

This is my main thing with Tilda. She was a shitty person who had a shitty life. But she never found the strength and commitment in herself to put in the work to be better. She instead let herself fall further and further down the hole because it was easier than pulling herself out. Because part of her still believed deep down that she had succeeded in living up to her birthright- that she wasn't deserving of ever healing or being better.

It was in one of these rehab facilities that she met the twins' father (and this part is absolutely inspired by Luke and Joey from the haunting of hill house). He was a guy with a similar past to hers- always sure he was meant to be bad so he committed to the role and never learned to commit to anything else. The difference between them, though, was that he was ready to get better.

They became fast friends and leaned on one another a bit while in rehab. She didn't see him as anything other than a friend, but he unfortunately became set on this idea that they would heal and move forward together. She knew he had feelings for her and enabled him (she didn't love him back but had never actually felt cared for like this before). He believed in her even when she didn't believe in herself, which was a lot. Unfortunately for him, he also ended up being more committed to her healing than she was. When she eventually started spiraling again, all other feelings for him were overshadowed by the part of her that just saw an opportunity.

She took advantage of him. She slept with him, took his money while he was sleeping, and bailed to get high and never see him again. Now I'm not gonna say she was just a devil who entered this poor man's life. He saw her more as a potential for an ideal life than a person. He was more in love with the dream he had of them getting better and starting a life together than he was actually in love with her and who she was as a person. Bad match all around.

So she never saw or heard from him again. When she found out she was pregnant, she went home to Luther and his wife and son. She didn't tell him right away that she was pregnant. Instead, she pretended she was just finally ready to commit to God and turn her life around. She played the part alright for a while, went to church with them and got sober and everything, but tried to leave and move into a women's shelter when she started showing. Luther found out and brought her home.

At first he was actually super supportive- mainly because he just genuinely thought she wanted to find God and stop "living in sin". But when she finally told him she didn't plan to keep the child, he turned on her.

We know the story from there. Personally I think the night that she stole the money and ran as her point of no return. Years down the line, when she knew she was being a terrible mother and person, she'd remember that night. And she'd think to herself how this is who she was always meant to be. How she doesnt deserve to be any better than how she is. And she'd dig the hole deeper.

-----

So yeah thats my take on Tilda Minyard. Sorry it was so long. I like the idea of giving depth and complexity to female characters- even the bad guys and the ones I don't like. I have a similar lengthy life concept for Mary Hatford as well, but it isn’t nearly as long. If anyone is curious lol

Thanks again for asking!

[my-darling-boy]

hiya. hope this isnt too personal; if yes: i am very sorry and feel free to completely ignore this! It’s about ed/body dysmorphia and dysphoria. So I’ve been suffering from anorexia for quite some time and think i am trans but me being unable to discern “disordered” thoughts from my real thoughts I started doubting my “transness”. I dont want to go into detail since it might be tiggering but did you ever experience anything similar? I would really appreciate some tips.

Ahh firstly I’m sorry to hear you’re going through that! Secondly, I have Much to say about this because trans people often suffer from EDs and it’s not something I see talked a lot about, but it’s a very serious matter in the trans community. So far EVERY trans person I have known irl has had a form of an ED at one point in their life. It is actually more common than you think for a trans person to have body dysphoria AND dysmorphia at the same time!

My own ED started because of outside pressure from cis people, and cis men especially, who shamed me into prioritising looking traditionally masculine, gauging my validity based on how well I—and I don’t like using the word but—“passed”, and so I felt the need to drastically alter my figure. I got abused by people who kept telling me I couldn’t be a real gay man unless I looked like X or did Y to my body, so I was roped into bad habits to fit to their biased expectations.

I also know it was a way for me to “control” my life when things didn’t go as planned, as a therapist once pointed out, and so restriction was a way for me to take charge of SOMETHING in my life when I felt so helpless to change other things, like my wait time for surgery or name changes, etc. Which is why I know trans people suffering from EDs must be having a very hard time right now during these Current Events because life seems out of control. It’s also why cyber bullying and other forms of abuse can also trigger these disorders, not just from people body shaming a trans person, but also because you can feel a lack of control to handle the abuser(s).

Trans people can also see eating disorders as a form of self harm because of the depression one might suffer due to transphobia or other negative factors. Self punishment can also manifest in the form of harmful restrictive/excessive eating. A trans person may have such poor self esteem or have a history of abuse and view the absence of food or nourishment, or eating to the point of being sick, as a self inflicted penalty for feeling ashamed to be trans, or for another related issue.

My own anorexia stemmed from all of these, from the transphobia and stress I was experiencing as a trans person.

It’s interesting you bring up dysphoria and dysmorphia, because I would now say I have next to no dysphoria—because I am a man and it’s feels wrong/incorrect to think of myself as any different—so therefore, with my gender issues out of the way, now I’m just a man dealing with male body issues which don’t exactly feel directly related to gender dysphoria, if that makes sense? And in your situation, I get the two together can be pretty hard to distinguish between!

But like I was going to answer in another ask, and something I think a lot of people forget (and may be helpful to figure out one feeling from the next): being trans is deeper than surface level. I think because of the way it’s portrayed on social media, as stereotypes, and so forth, people get wrapped up in prioritizing the body part of it to determine if they’re trans, while neglecting the mind/heart part of it to determine it, and the LATTER is what is ultimately going to tell you!

I can wear anything I want and be a man. I could have any body shape and be a man. I don’t have to have surgeries or hormones to be a man, and I don’t even have to feel like anything about me has to physically change to be a man. What matters is that I FEEL, intangibly, internally, I am a man. What I choose to do with my body to support that if I feel it necessary is secondary to my identity, my being.

It’s good to understand our hearts = everything. How we feel about our bodies and the stuff we do to them or put on them is determined by your heart. That’s why if you’re really stuck, it’s important to concentrate more on internal responses to determine if you’re trans. I always say to experiment with clothing or pronouns or other forms of expression—not because these things must inherently equal being trans—but because it’s your deep internal euphoric response that you’re looking for to these factors, and if you’re looking for a place to start, that could be it! But at the end of the day, if we existed without bodies, without a way to express ourselves physically, who are you? And what form does that spirit take? It doesn’t have to be male or female, it can be anywhere in or out of the binary as well, so you don’t have to limit yourself to “male” or “female” boxes!

I hope some of this could help? ♡

[revengerevisited]

I'm the person you cruelly criticized about a comment I made on a DeviantArt post about Aqua and Ven.You get the concept that at no point did I say anything bad, right? I even said it was cute. Also, Ventus is not 17 years old, during BBS events he is 15, like Sora in KH2 and Aqua would be 18-20 years old. The fact is that I do not like people to take screenshots of my comments and expose them without context and also make me look like garbage. Can we start from zero? I dont want hate between us

[Referring to this post]

Here’s the thing. I’ve been harassed by anti-Venqua and anti-Vanqua shippers for over two years now. I’ve been mass-blocked by about 50 people just because my blog used to be Vanqua-themed, called disgusting, a pedophile, an adult/minor shipper, told that my ships are abusive, told to kill myself, my friends have also been called those things, called homophobic for shipping Vanqua instead of Ven*van, told to ship Terr*aqua instead, bullied into deleting their art, and sent other horrible trash just because we like a ship that happens to have a 2-year age difference. Ventus was 16 in BBS and Aqua was 18, and after the 1-year time-skip in Re:Mind they are currently 17 and 19. The art that I drew clearly depicted them 10 years later (as said in the caption), and clearly they are both adults in that artwork, and even if they weren’t, there is nothing wrong with a 2-year age difference between teenagers.

After all the hatred I’ve received the last couple of years for no reason other than simply enjoying a ship between fictional cartoon characters, plus the fact that literally the day before one of my friends got a hateful message on her Venqua art calling her disgusting, it’s pretty understandable why I would react so harshly to yet another person feeling the need to comment on the supposed age difference. If you actually liked my art, you would’ve simply called it cute without the need to try to make it seem problematic by falsely claiming a 6-year age difference. In other words, please think before you speak, because you have no idea what sort of hell other people have been through.

If it’s any consolation, only 5 people even saw my post, and seeing as they all follow me, they’ll see this one too. They’ll decide for themselves what’s best for them in light of this new information. As for me, the fact that you’re calling me ‘cruel’ and obviously created your tumblr blog today just to send me this message months after the fact does make me hesitant to unblock you, as I can’t be sure if you simply made an honest mistake, or are actually an anti who will try to hurt me if I unblock you. At this point I have to do everything I can to protect myself and others, especially after that death threat post. I would honestly love to have no hate between us nor with anyone else, but antis seem to be around every corner these days and my ability to trust strangers has eroded. However, I have hidden your username on my original post as you requested.

All I ever wanted was to have fun in this fandom; I never knew it would get this bad, but even back in 2019 I knew KH would be the last fandom I ever participated in, just from the bullying alone. I never wanted to have to wake up every morning knowing at least 100 people either hate my guts or want me dead over cartoons. But here we are. It seems no matter how nice I am, supporting artists, answering questions etc, people will always turn around and spit in my face because I dare to openly enjoy something that they don’t. I can only take that sort of abuse for so long before I finally lose my patience.

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As usual to my followers, do not send hate to this person nor anyone else. We’re not antis, so don’t act like it.