#I also like honey on corn chips

[thegreenleavesofspring]

It may - or may not - interest all of you to know that everyone who has expressed the second opinion to me was also unwilling to actually try that on which they were conferring judgment.

[crippleprophet]

gluten & dairy intolerant and sick as shit: a “what the fuck do i eat?” primer

most gluten-free, dairy-free (hereafter abbreviated gf/df) recipe sites are so clearly written by people who have the energy to cook - consistently enough that they don’t need to worry about food spoiling - and money for tons of ingredients and equipment. as a person who’s bedridden a large portion of the time, this is useless as shit!

so here’s how i’ve kept myself alive the past 6+ months for other sick folks looking for a realistic starting point, in descending order from least to most energy required. in addition to being gf/df, i can’t eat raw vegetables or red meat, need to avoid/minimize seeds and artificial sweeteners, and try to minimize soy when possible, so these suggestions align with that.

as always, check the labels first! other folks feel free to add on with any suggestions!

meals

gf cereal - chocolate gf off-brand rice krispies are a go-to low-energy meal that can also be a snack

bananas with peanut butter

rice cakes are my best friend - they’re like 4x cheaper than gf bread and the easiest option i’ve found so far. my go-to is rice cake, vegan cheese, 4 slices of deli chicken, a pinch of salt; 4 of those makes a filling meal for me

gf toast with peanut butter or butter, cinnamon, and brown sugar

gf oatmeal in the microwave, seasoned with brown sugar and cinnamon. if you need to avoid cross-contamination, make sure to only purchase oat products that are certified gluten-free; they can easily get cross-contaminated from wheat in the field

tofu scramble - season with curry powder, garlic and onion powder, chili powder, and salt. add whatever veggies you want - i do (frozen or canned) spinach, mushrooms, and tomatoes

gf chicken nuggets - if i have a little extra energy i’ll make a vegan ranch using a vegan mayo base

gf/df pizza - they’re expensive. i’m sorry.

gf/df nachos - vegan mince with gf taco seasoning, olives, vegan cheese, corn tortillas chips. for a lower-energy version, i melt vegan cheese on tortilla chips in the microwave and add torn-up deli chicken and seasoning

frozen gf fries - plain or with vegan cheese sauce, vegan cheese, and/or vegan mince (seasoned with garlic powder, chili powder, paprika, and salt)

rice with ingredient - canned beans and/or peas; canned tuna cooked with curry powder; frozen edamame and canned salmon cooked with gf (tamari) soy sauce, honey, and chili powder

fish tacos - frozen fish cooked with cumin, paprika, chili powder, salt, pepper; cilantro-lime rice; avocado if you’re up for peeling/cutting; vegan cheese; corn tortillas

snacks

pre-popped popcorn

tortilla chips

gf/df cookies

gf/df chips (crisps) - in the UK, Seabrook is a great gf brand, and the classic ones are df as well

gf/df protein or granola bars

gf/df ice cream

tangerines, clementines, etc - they last longer than other fruits

[paldean-sandwich-rater]

A sandwich.

It contains ice cream, whipped cream, sponge cake, meat balls, broccoli, pineapple, strawberries, tomatoes, lettuce, rice, noodles, mac and cheese, bacon, beef jerky, dried fish, seaweed, one of every Pokemon berry, jam, olive oil, lotus, dragon fruit, ravioli, ramen, tempura, teriyaki chicken, macaroons, escargots, mint, pepper, salt, sugar, croquettes, pickles, apples, avocados, sausages, bell peppers, grapes, pizza, a donut, cheese, more cheese, even more cheese, mushrooms, mustard, olives, a fried egg, a scrambled egg, blueberries, a poached egg, chawanmushi, a red bean bun, mochi, bbq sauce, chicken nuggets, french fries, takoyaki, pancakes, mackerel, salmon, coffee beans, spinach, a tiny bit of corn cream soup, ramensanga, fettucine alfredo, a plain bagel, pretzels, chocolate chip cookies, sweet potato, yam, potato, scallions, scallops, squid, crab stick, fish balls, fish cakes, oyster sauce, silken tofu, barley, cereal, paprika, oysters, red snapper, sea bass, plums, bean sprouts, garlic, string cheese, camembert, swiss cheese, mozzarella, parmesan cheese, yogurt, brinjal, a macdonald’s happy meal (without the toy and the packaging of course), truffles, caviar, tapioca balls, fried chicken, century eggs, cake sprinkles, dark chocolate, milk chocolate, white chocolate, milk tea (just a tinge), coffee (also a tinge), pudding, pumpkin, honey, mutton, mashed potatoes, bananas, icelandic fermented shark that they bury in the ground for months, raisins, dried mangoes, a drop of water, jelly, nata de coco, prunes, roasted pork, rosemary, bee pollen, peas, deer meat, rabbit meat, fish maw, ham, turkey, m&ms, chub, fufu, watermelon, winter melon, rock melon, coffee jelly, cacao, carrots, blueberries, black tea, dumplings, carrot cake, beetroot, purple cabbage, corn, celery, edamame, red beans, black beans, green beans, kidney beans, cashews, peanuts, pecans, sunflower seeds, walnuts, chickpeas, almonds, daikon, MSG, tamales, anchovies, tabbouleh, lions mane mushroom, chicken of the woods, kelp, octopus, durian, kimchi, crème fraîche, popcorn, cotton candy, everything bagel seasoning, capers, pears, marinara sauce, bittercress, butter cream, every single iteration of galarian curry, sushi, sashimi, kale and a very very specific ramen bowl (without the actual bowl) from a very particular shop located in Iwatodai.

And the top and bottom buns are somehow made from 50 different kinds of bread in a checker box pattern.

It comes with a picture.

Ingredients: I am not typing all of that out again. What the fuck.

Smell: You’ve taken an entire food court’s worth of food and made it into a sandwich. This isn’t even possible. Why am I considering this. 3/5

Taste: How do you eat this. 2/5

Texture: You get like 5 different foods every bite. This is not balanced. There is no harmony. This sandwich is the embodiment of disorder and chaos. 1/5

Presentation: The fact that this even looks sandwich adjacent is a fucking miracle. You don’t get full points though. Because I don’t like you. 3/5

Would Chunk Eat It?: He would eat maybe 1/50th of it. So no. 1/5

Final Score: 2/5

Critic’s Notes: Why would you waste this much food. Just host a party. Donate it. Something fucking anything I am begging at this point.

[bogleech]

please share a refresher of some of your food flavor and texture opinions. I'm having a discussion with my wife about our various Autistic Food Rules and she didn't believe me when I said y'all had similar palettes.

I have a really strong sense of taste (the same exact thing but two different brands may as well be night and day to me; pepsi and coke are as different as apple juice and orange juice) and yet I STILL find that texture is more important, and soft textures are almost always better. French fries are best soft, moist and limp the way they make them at East Coast barbeque pits and board walks. All meat is best as tender and juicy as possible and if a meat is safe to eat raw it is always best raw. The fat is also the best part, but I mean the buttery fat that melts away, not the hard chewy gristly fat which is horrible.

Cookies are never good completely crunchy. Raw dough is good but the very best cookies are half-baked extra chewy ones, especially if they have soft doughy centers and only lightly crispy edges, with chips still melted from the oven. Chocolate in general is better warm than cold especially when it's softened up as much as fudge, and fudge is also good. Eggplant is the best vegetable particularly stir fried until it's all buttery smooth. The only food that's good crisp and crunchy is fruit, any fruit that can be crisp such as apples or pears should be as crisp as possible. Crispy grapes are the very best but they're also the hardest to come by. I end up pinching grapes at the store hoping to find some that have absolutely no give. The best pizza topping is in fact anchovies as long as they're properly cooked into it. Anchovies are also delicious when baked into spaghetti sauce or lasagna. Pineapple however is also good when cooked on pizza, even if it doesn't go super great with anchovy.

In fact, all fruit is actually pretty good when cooked and paired with something savory. Sweet + savory is great in MOST contexts, there's no food in the world that honey can't go on.

Peanut butter, and I mean the sweetened kind from a jar, is also great in savory dishes like curries.

I know this is a very hard sell but peanut butter + pickle chips in a sandwich or on crackers are an actual snack some people enjoy and once I tried it I thought it was awesome. I don't care for the flakiness of most cooked fish but I love canned tuna for whatever reason, tuna salad is like the most reliably palatable food in the world to me? The much reviled Spam and its imitations are in fact delicious pan fried, all the authentic Hawaiian recipes are amazing and Spam musubi is amazing.

I don't mind waffles but I think they're inferior to good pancakes, maybe because waffles have that drier and more rigid surface? Love when pancakes are a bit stretchy. Stretchy white bread like a super fresh French baguette is one of the most good things in the world with nothing at all added to it.

The only common food I find totally revolting is corn. Peas and beans also gross me out a little, all the plants that come in little round nodules. Not fond of most pot pies and stuff with a bunch of different little chopped up veggies in them, don't know why, maybe because all of those veggies would be so much better a little pan-seared on their own? I also find it genuinely kind of annoying and sad when people even “jokingly” comment on these posts about how gross some of these are, none of them are really that uncommon in my experience except maybe the peanut butter pickle thing but I still don’t get why people feel so strongly about some of it. Almost all food is good and I don’t hate the alternatives I can stomach rigid crispy SOULLESS french fries just fine when I really have to

[the-habitat-ring]

The (Real) Stardew Valley Farm

So a year and a half ago we bought a house, AKA the real life habitat ring. I swear the yard came with every single non-aquatic invasive plant we’ve got. Slowly but surely we’ve been murdering all the Japanese honeysuckle and poison hemlock, tearing up a truly inhumane amount of weed barrier and pea gravel, and adding truckloads of wood chips and other organic matter to start to repair the soil. Our goal is to replace everything with mostly native plants with an emphasis on food production.

But of course I needed more of a challenge. I love playing Stardew Valley. It’s really the only video game I play. And somewhere I got the idea, “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool to grow everything in Stardew Valley in our yard?” So here we are. Obviously I don’t live on some magical land with perfect weather, a giant greenhouse, and a second farm on a tropical island, so I have to make plenty of substitutions. I’m also trying to grow native plants whenever possible. Any suggestions are welcome!

2021

Amaranth - Native white amaranth (the birds love it!)

Grape - Native riverbank grapes (so many grapes) and some green cultivated variety from the neighbors

Dandelion - Obviously

Maple Tree - Native silver, red, and sugar maples (also an invasive Norway maple but we chopped it down)

Pine Tree - Not sure what kind of pines they are

Apple Tree - Not in great shape. I’d love an Enterprise apple tree at some point

Coffee Bean - Chicory (maybe that’s cheating, but it’s a naturalized plant commonly used as a coffee substitute)

Salmonberry - Not native to the Midwest, so we’re sticking with native black raspberries. We’ll likely add some pink/yellow raspberries later though

2022

Kale

Rhubarb

Strawberry - Both cultivated and native

Tulip

Radish

Tomato

Beet

Eggplant

Fairy Rose - Not a real thing so I substituted the native prairie rose

Cranberries - Native cranberry viburnum

Orange Tree -Native persimmons, which produce orange fruit

Daffodil

Spring Onion - Native nodding onions and also green onions indoors

Spice Berry - Native spicebushes

Wild Plum - Native

Hazelnut - Native

Crocus

Cherry Tree - Native black cherries and nonnative bush cherries

Tea Leaves - Native New Jersey Tea bush

Banana Tree - Native pawpaws, which are also known as Indiana bananas

Mango Tree - One of the pawpaws is a named variety called mango so I think that counts

Ginger - Attempted native wild ginger, which I don’t think survived, but am also growing ginger indoors

Green Bean

Sweet Gem Berry - Native Juneberry (Downy Serviceberry) which are a redish color

Planned for 2023

Blue Jazz - Not real so I went with the native Ozark Bluestar, which seems similar enough

Garlic

Parsnip

Apricot Tree - Native passionflower vine. Not a tree, but it is known as wild apricot

Blueberry

Sunflower - Both native and non-native sunflowers

Pineapple - Neither my spouse nor I like pineapples, so we’re going with white strawberries known as pineberries that are said to have a tropical taste

Pumpkin

Melon

Wild Horseradish - Except I’ll be growing it in a pot because it tends to get a little too wild for my tastes

Holly - Native winterberry holly

Oak Tree - Native dwarf chinquapin oak

Sweet Pea

Hot Pepper

Palm Tree - Obviosuly not going to work here but there is a native palm sedge that I’ll plant instead

Planned for 2024

Potato

Corn

Hops - Hoping to get a cutting from a native hops vine (if the local beer people don’t kill me)

Winter Root - I’m gonna go with native ground nuts because you can dig up the roots in winter

Poppy - Hopefully native wood poppy

Red Cabbage

Artichoke - Native Jerusalem artichokes

Cactus Fruit - Native prickly pear cactus

Yam

Bok Choy

Leek

Fiddlehead Fern

Blackberry

Crystal Fruit - I’m gonna go with honey berries, which produce fruit earlier than anything else

Ancient Fruit - Native Aronia berries are the only thing I can think of for this one. They’re blue(ish) and have lots of antioxidants so you live to be ancient

Figuring Out Substitutes

Rice

Wheat

Starfruit - Not really sure how to swing this one, so suggestions are welcome

Summer Spangle - Not real, so I’m open to suggestions of native plants. Possibly prairie lily? It has a similar-ish shape, is orange, and blooms in summer

Qi Fruit - Creepy little man

Taro Root - I would have to plant it in pots

Morel - I wish I could grow this

All the other mushrooms - I think I’ll just ignore any varieties and just try plugs or similar

Snow Yam

Cave Carrot - Trying to find a native carrot substitute

Coconut - I shouldn’t count this separately from palm trees, right?

Mahogany Tree

Peach Tree

Pomegranate Tree - There are Russian pomegranates that are hardy to zone 6, which just might work with climate change

[infodumped]

tonight's dinner: homemade chili (yes with beans if u dont like chili with beans ur just eating seasoned meat) served over rice with cheese (and sour cream for those who like it) ... also served with honey corn muffins and tortilla chips!! the secret ingredient was maple syrup!!! 😋 i cooked this in my crockpot on low heat for 4 hours and it was a huge hit!!!!!

[byler-makemewanttobelieveitsokay]

Fic - Chapter Three

I apologise for the lack of updates recently. I've been super busy.

Chapter 1

Prev

Current Comic update

March 22nd

"Happy Birthday dear Will! Happy Birthday to you!" The mottled choir finishes its song with a swell of emotion. Robin Buckley, co-founder and Co President of Hawkins High Pride, pats a mildly embarrassed Will Byers on the back.

Robin’s insanely cool. She's a loud, talkative senior, and one of Jonathan's friends from drama class. She also seems weirdly bonded with Steve Harrington, which Will finds odd, but Robin assures him Steve is nice. He thinks he'll take Robin’s word for it.

"How can you be 15 baby Byers?" She asks, a nostalgic grin across her freckled face. Robin’s girlfriend, Vickie, ruffles his hair.

"Seems like only yesterday we blackmailed Troy Walsh into leaving you alone in the sandbox. My God, that was back in Elementary School!" 

Vickie grimaces, as if to say, Jesus I'm old. Robin whacks her on the arm.

"You're an old lady!" She teases Vickie, that evil glint in her honey eyes.

"Are you into old ladies Rob?" Asks Will, wiggling his eyebrows up and down in a suggestive fashion. 

Vickie roars with laughter at the sudden flush of colour on her girlfriend's face. Before this interesting situation can escalate any further, Eddie Munson, the slightly intimidating, but hilariously clumsy, other co-president and founder, spills a full 2 litre bottle of Fanta into a bowl of doritos. Everyone in the small group descends into chaos as they attempt to sort out the bowl of soggy corn chips.

"Okay everyone! Stay safe, I hope everyone had a good spring break and–" Robin cuts herself off before she can start rambling. She's not very accustomed to being the centre of attention, she's just starting to gain her confidence. Her autism and adhd can make her a bit rambly sometimes too. Eddie Munson takes over, he's more used to being in the spotlight than Robin.

"We'll see you next week!" He grins and waves as the handful of students file out of the classroom. 

There weren't as many kids at Hawkins Pride today -not that there were usually more than fifteen anyway- but the seniors were only kids back at school today. To be completely honest, Will wouldn't have come today either if Jonathan and El didn't have things on at school this afternoon too. 

Jonathan's photography club won't be finished for another fifteen minutes so Will wanders in the direction of the gym. El's there with the Captain of the Cheer team, Chrissy Cunningham.

Chrissy, despite being popular, seems nice. She's offered her afternoon to give El extra coaching for the cheer team. Will won't lie, he was surprised when El decided to try out for the cheerleading team. But so far, she's loving it. Will keeps finding her practising tumbles and jumps and God knows what other crazy tricks in her room.

He shoves the door to the gym open. El and Chrissy are in the centre of the gym with a gymnastics mat. El holds up a pom-pom and waves at him as Will takes a seat on the bleachers. He'll let them finish off whatever cheer stuff they're doing over there. He pulls out his sketchbook and begins drawing what he sees. El in her cheerleading top and black leggings, her hair pulled back into a bun.

Chrissy does some flippy thing, her blonde ponytail twirling around in the air. Will giggles a bit when El attempts to copy, but ultimately mucks up the landing and falls on her ass. Before he can yell out and ask her if she’s okay, Chrissy’s helping her up once more.

***

“You pair ready for school?” Asks Hop. He surveys the twins. El’s hair isn’t done, and she’s missing a sock. Will only has one shoe on and his backpack seems to have gone walkabouts. Both have scarlet blood dripping from opposite nostrils. There’s cushions hovering next to El and gold sparks flickering around Will’s fingertips.

Jonathan wanders in, ready to leave, his keys dangling in his fingers. El and Will watch as an eyebrow climbs its way up his forehead. The cushions fall to the floor with a soft thud and the sparks disappear with a crackle.

“What on earth are you both doing?”

“Friendly disagreement!” Will quickly supplies, an explanation would send them down a rabbit hole.

“Super friendly!” El agrees, nodding hastily.

Jonathan’s not sure he’ll ever get used to the wacko antics his siblings get up to. It was weird enough gaining a half-sister, let alone one with superpowers. And then, as if that wasn’t enough to process, his little brother can electrocute people with nothing but determination. Yep, it was official, Jonathan Byers was no longer the weirdest in the family. Damn it, he’d loved that title, so typical of the twins to steal it from him!

“Hurry up!” Jonathan threatens as he ushers Hopper outside. Will and El’s nonsense can’t cause the entire household to be late. Some family members have, like, actual jobs that they need to be on time for. 

He stops back in the kitchen to shepard El away from the Eggos and again in Will’s doorway to remind him that no– he doesn’t have time to get his paints out, not if he wants to bike to school with the rest of his friends. He loves the twins– really, he does, but they do seem to have inherited Joyce’s slightly scattered tendencies. They do manage to get out the door on time though, and Jonathan waves to them from his car. He watches that they meet Max at the end of their street, then makes his own way to Argyle’s place.

Meanwhile El greets Max with her usual running hug, yelling Max’s name from about half a street away. Will just laughs. They’re just so cute, the best of friends. 

Will and Max strike up a conversation as El swaps shoes from her white converse to her favourite purple roller skates.

“So… Mike’s starting today?” Will asks, and really, truly, he’s trying to sound casual. It doesn’t help that he and Mike got along so well at the park the other day. He can’t help it, okay? Mike is the definition of good looking and he’s Will’s estranged best friend. What more could you want?

Unfortunately for Will, Max is blind, not deaf. She hears the excitement in Will’s tone and shoots him a coy, lopsided smile. Will groans internally. Why are girls such scheming little terrors?

“Yeah that’s right! 

El subtly steadies herself with her powers, clutching onto Max's arm and she wobbles about on the stopper of one skate. When she regains composure, and ceases to resemble Bambi on ice, the three race onwards, speeding towards Dustin’s Street.

As Will pedals, they pass Hawkins Laboratory, or at least the skeleton of it. He shudders lightly, remembering his God awful stay there as a twelve year old. The scar on the inside of his wrist tingles as they pass the perimeter quickly. Will steals a brief glance at El to check she's alright, but El seems to have flown ahead on her skates. 

Bother her! Will thinks as he stands up on his bike to accelerate faster. Max enjoys zooming down the road, not too fast, but not slow enough that she'll lose the race to Dustin’s place.

They reach the Henderson's in record time, four minutes from the Hopper/Byers house. El has the most shit eating grin on her face as Will catches up to her, waiting outside Dustin’s house.

"I won!" 

It's then that Will spies the bright red drop threatening to spill from El's nostril. He knew it! She was cheating! El gives him a cheeky wink, which plainly says "welp, you put the idea in my head. No take backs!" 

Dustin’s front door opens and the man himself emerges.

Will takes a moment to assess Dustin’s appearance. His hair is standing on end and the sleeves of his jumper are rather singed. It looks like he's stuck his fingers in a powerpoint. El vocalises this, giving Will a playfully accusational glare.

"You know it wasn't my powers, I was with you the whole morning!"

"I wasn't with you when you lost the race!"

Dustin cackles, almost rolling on the floor. Will honestly wouldn't be surprised if it turned out Dustin was descended from a family of hyenas. He's basically the meme guy of the group. Will's pretty sure Dustin's sent more Tiktoks to the group chat than El has posted pictures of eggos to her instagram. (Half of them aren't even good photos. She usually forgets not to devour half a waffle before she takes the picture.)

"Oh man! Nah I can't– Oh Jesus– El you're hilarious–" Dustin leans himself against a wall trying to breathe. Max rolls her pale white eyes. Her bemused face hasn't changed a bit.

"Ya' know Dustin, this is probably the first time in my life I actually wanna see you!"

After learning that Dustin was attempting to invent a phone charger that ran on potato peels, Dustin had jumped on his bike and they hurried over to Lucas's. 

Lucas is waiting outside his place, already on his bike. His green and orange basketball uniform can be seen poking out of his duffle bag. He greets everyone with a wave and his giant friendly grin. Except Max– She holds her hands out making a grabbing motion. Lucas plops his face into her hands and lets Max feel his face and hair.

"You got a haircut!" She exclaims as they pedal or skate slowly toward Mike's house.

The house looks just like it did in Will’s vague memories. Old, probably built in the seventies, maybe earlier. Two stories and decent size, a home built for a family. 

"It could be a bit of a wait." Dustin warns Will. Everyone dumps their bikes and skateboards to sit on the curb. "His dad's kinda… unhelpful."

Not necessarily a family home anymore, from what he’s been told. Mike doesn’t seem to get on with his dad very well. That’s weirdly relatable to Will. His real dad, Hop, is perfectly fine, he loves Will, El and Jonathan so much it can actually be a little unbearable, but Lonnie? 

Lonnie Byers was an asshole, and Will’s glad he’s pissed off to Indianapolis.  

From somewhere inside the house, loud music’s playing. Will recognises the song as Fight for your Right by The Beastie Boys. He giggles a little– what a random song to be blasting at 8:30 on a Thursday morning. Out of the corner of Will's eye, he notices Dustin sneaking up behind Lucas.

There's a loud SLAP noise, then…

"I like ya cut G!"

Lucas turns around to glare at Dustin. He gives him the most deadpan, unamused stare that Will's ever seen.

"I actually hate you." 

Dustin sits down between El and Lucas. His shit eating grin says it all.

"Nah, you actually don't."

There's a shout from somewhere inside the house and the music switches off. Heavy footsteps sound and the front door bangs open and closed. There stands Mike, his hair pulled back into a ponytail. Off his arm hangs a small girl. Her hair is blonde and in two pigtails and she appears to be wearing an Elsa t-shirt. She looks mildly terrified.

Mike stands at his door and quickly raises his middle finger. Then he looks down to the little girl– presumably his sister, Holly –and apologises. Then he joins everyone else at the curb.

"One– Sorry, dad's a dick! Two– hey everyone! Three– Will, Jane, this is my sister Holly." 

Holly waves her hand rapidly at the twins, so fast Will’s half afraid it’ll fly off. She then point to the top of her head.

"Cat!" She exclaims, gesturing to a pair of pink glittery cat ears. Then she runs over to Max, meowing as she trots. Will bites back a chuckle. Kids will be kids.

"Um. Yeah. She's going through a cat phase." Mike explains hastily. He looks really awkward, rubbing the back of his neck. El wraps her arms around Mike's waist and pulls him in for one of her death hugs. Will swears he sees Mike go blue before El finally lets go of him. One of these days she’s going to make someone pass out from a lack of oxygen.

"Hi!" Says Will softly as Mike wheels a fancy looking bike out from the garage.

Mike beams back at Will. His smile could light up this whole town.

"Hi!" He echos.

***

"So Will, tell me: is there anything about Hawkins High that I oughtta know?"

They're walking leisurely down the hall. Will's been instructed to just walk about with Mike, show him around from a student's perspective. He contemplates Mike's question. Hawkins High is pretty standard honestly. Nothing out of the ordinary. There are plenty of assholes, this is Indiana after all.

"Well… There's mean girls and rude jocks. Lucas and Jane could give you a pretty good run down of them." 

"Jane gets bullied? But she seems so… happy?" Mike has a look of utter disbelief on his face.

Will shrugs. That’s El’s way of coping, she balances out the negativity by being super positive and nice to everyone all the time. Not at home though, at home she’s a menace. Still excitable, but she looks a whole lot less innocent when she’s playing pop music obnoxiously loud and wearing Will’s favourite flannel like it’s her own. 

That’s probably just a sibling thing though.

"She's on the cheer team. Most of the girls are nice… Angela Darwin though…" Will trails off.

Mike's eyes widen. He most definitely knows Angela Darwin. Her days as Queen of Hawkins Grammar School still haunt Mike. Her fake nice voice. The way she would casually give Max flack for not having much money. Her stupid walk.

"That bitch? Is she still strutting around like a peacock with a pencil up her ass?" 

Will bursts into a fit of laughter. He pictures Angela’s face atop a peacock's body. This is definitely something he has to draw later. He might even watercolour it! 

"Bro the mental images–" He manages to say between loud sniggers.

Mike, who'd been doing a fairly decent job of keeping a straight face, smirks. When he meets Will's eyes, all composure dissolves and they're basically leaning on each other laughing.

When they finally regain the ability to look at each other without cackling, Will continues to tell Mike about El's experience on the cheer team.

"She joined up last term. I was sceptical, but most of the girls are really nice. Team captain is Chrissy Cunningham, and then there's Jennifer Hayes, Ruby Schwartz, Delilah and Amelia Ashfeild and Trinity Jacobsen."

Mike nods. He can't think of anything else to say right now… his brain's still stuck on Angela the Peacock.

He’s silent for a beat, then Mike's lips part into a mischievous grin. He quietly snickers, stealing glances at Will waiting to make eye contact. When Will catches his eye, he too snickers, correctly guessing that Mike's still picturing a feathered Angela Darwin. Together they erupt into another fit of giggles. (And Will calls Dustin a hyena!)

The boys keep laughing, not hearing a classroom door creak open. They don’t hear the soft thud of footsteps, they keep laughing, leaning against each other until Will catches the sharp “Ahem” coming from possibly the most grumpy teacher in all of Hawkins High School.

He looks up from where he’d buried his face into Mike’s shoulder and straight into the eyes of Mr Durham, the Algebra teacher who reeks of coffee and hates Will’s entire existence for some reason. (Probably because of that one time he made Will cry in class and promptly got a full Hopper family ‘talking to’.) His face, if possible, looks even grumpier than usual.

“Byers! What the HELL do you think you’re doing?” 

Will swallows hard. Usually he’d just mumble an apology and be on his way, but Eddie’s been bugging him to stand up for himself more, and Jonathan’s given him plenty of pep talks about this guy. He takes a deep breath and tries to find some confidence within him.

“Leave him alone! He was just showing me around!” Mike spits, before Will can think of something to say. Mike’s eyes are narrowed and his hands are on his hips. He looks like he means business. Will gets a strange feeling of deja vu, he’s definitely seen this look on Mike before, somewhere inside his fractured memories of kindergarten.

“Well, well, well, Michael Wheeler! Didn’t think I’d be seeing you here!” Mr Durham spits. 

Why on earth does he sound like a cartoon villain? Will can picture him in a mask and elaborate black costume, actually. (Now he’s got another caricature to draw!)

“I didn't think you were still allowed to teach, after what you said to me and Will, but here we are!" Mike retorts.

Mr Durham's face contorts to look even more angry. Will hadn't thought it was possible to get that mad, honestly. He's surprised there isn't a scribbled cloud over the teacher's head. He seems to take Mike's words as a challenge.

"Well, it looks like I was right! Look at the two of you, cutting class together. You pair of f–"

"Finish that sentence and I'll make sure you get fired!" 

"Yeah! Homophobia ain't cool brochacho!" 

Mike and Will whip around to see Jonathan and his strange friend Argyle standing just outside the opened classroom door. Jonathan's angry face strongly resembles Joyce's, to the point where Will's almost certain it is his Mom standing there. Argyle looks high as a kite, but still protective, in his own quirky way.

"Ah! Jonathan Byers–"

"Don't call me that name. I've told you a million times it's Hopper now."

Mr Durham closes his eyes and sighs in frustration. Will really hates this teacher. He acts like it's a personal attack that he and Jonathan don't want to have anything to do with Lonnie Byers.

"Okay then Hopper, why don't we all just go back to where we should be." The sarcasm that drips from Mr Durham's voice sends chills down Will’s spine. He's so–

Will doesn't even know what!

"That," Jonathan says, his tone low and warning, "sounds like the best idea you've had all day!" 

Mr Durham gives Will and Mike one last awful scowl, then marches back into his classroom. Jonathan shoots Will a wink and reluctantly follows his grumpy teacher back inside. Argyle waves his whole arm at Will and Mike, yelling:

"See ya, my dudes!" 

Will chuckles and waves back. That's Argyle for ya. He then turns back to Mike, who looks pretty frustrated still.

"We should probably get out of here." 

"No arguments from me!" Mike agrees.

Will runs down the hall, to the staircase, gesturing for Mike to follow him. Mike's rather un-athletic run is pretty amusing to be honest. When Mike catches up to him, Will perches on the handrail and slides down.

Mike lets out a laugh, some of his anger fading. He slides down in a similar manner, then follows Will outside into the school yard.

***

Will covers his ears when the school bell clangs at recess. (It’s so noisy, and for what?) He shows Mike a spot under a shady tree. It’s in close proximity to the assisted learning block, which is useful for Max, it means she doesn’t have to walk too far, and can just use her cane and not have to have someone guide her. 

El likes being outside in nature, to feel the sun and hear the birds, she missed out on a lot of that, being trapped in the lab. Sometimes she’ll just lie there under the shade of the tree and rest. It’s probably the only time she’s not moving. She loves the feel of the grass on her skin, even if it makes her itchy afterwards. 

Dustin likes that it’s secluded enough that he can show everyone tiktoks without getting into trouble for the volume or language. He can sing to himself and nerd out about his current fandoms without getting heaps of negative attention. Mostly he tells a bunch of horrible puns. Only El laughs at them, Will’s a little concerned that Dustin’s corrupting her sense of humour.

Lucas likes that there’s space for him to run around the tree without stepping on anyone. He’s the most sporty out of the group, with Max at a close second. Lucas never could sit still, in the entire time Will’s known him, Lucas has always wanted to just run. That was part of what made his parents suspect he had ADHD. Now he’s on medication the urge to run isn’t as strong, but he likes having the freedom to do so anyway.

And Will? He loves the beauty of the spot. In the fall when the leaves turn orange and red. In the winter when snowflakes fall soft on the exposed branches of the tree. And now in spring, when the tree is covered in flower buds and the sun shines its golden rays through the gaps, bathing everything in warmth. He loves to sit and sketch the landscape, or his friends in the aesthetic lighting. 

Will has a feeling Mike’s gonna like it here too.

[taylortruther]

Rae! I'm coming dinner and thought of your lunch posts and now I have a hyper specific Texas girl question that I hope isn't too weird to ask.

Do you have any specific HEB go-to food items? Like an ingredient you always use, or a snack you can't get enough of?

omg i love this question and YES!!!!

okay so these are all HEB-brand things except the last two. and sorry, this is so long... i got carried away. but i've gone to HEB my whole life so i am an HEB-expert lmao.

bakery section:

seasalt tortilla chips

hijole tortilla chips <- if you like spicy, these are a MUST!

fresh tortillas (especially the mitad y mitad/half-and-half, they're a combo of flour and corn)

tres leches cake (usually served in a little square but i'd also recommend the whole cake)

rosemary sourdough

pan dulce, specifically the conchas or pineapple empanadas

deli:

fresh guacamole and salsa and queso

culinary cowgirls queso (blanco/white flavor)

premade 'meal simple' meals: i love the ones you can pop in the oven, they're a really simple and tasty lunch or dinner

lemon pepper rotisserie chicken

tarragon chicken salad

fresh marinated meats - their marinated chicken is soooo good

frozen/refrigerated:

creamy creations ice cream - better than bluebell and much cheaper, i love the pistachio and the chocolate chip cookie dough

swoon ice cream - i think these are all pints, and also fancier flavors, but they are amazing especially the banana smores

pre-packaged fajita meat

mi tienda tamales

beverages:

1877 sparkling water is a cheaper topo chico alternative

pure cane sugar soda - they have a bunch of flavors, i like the cream soda the best

snacks:

check out their bulk food section! i like the everything bagel cashews, dried chili mango slices, sweet and sassy trail mix, and the pour-your-own honey-roasted peanut butter

the knock-off doritos are better than actual doritos

lone stars goldfish cracker knock offs

non-heb-brand stuff that you can find there:

whataburger-brand spicy ketchup or honey bbq

bluebell bride's cake ice cream if it's still in stores (it's almond ice cream with pieces of cake in it)

[waywardsculs]

THE ANGELS

CUPID / EROS

Role: Patron of Love and Romance Ranking: Higher Echelons ( Nobility )

Responds to both Cupid and Eros, but his " true " name is Eros.

Very, very friendly and easy to approach. Super outgoing and probably the best of the angels to just have a general conversation with.

Genuinely believes that things like sex shouldn't be looked upon as a sin so long as it's consensual.

This little turd is so damn dense when it comes to literally anyone having an interest in him at all. He may help govern love but him?? Loved?? Naaaaah.

Bow? Nope. This boy has a sniper rifle. Much more accurate for his work honey.

Omnisexual babyyyyy

He legit has almost no brain cells okay he's just an emotional guy with lots of love to give and thinks pretty much everyone deserves some form of love. ( of course there are exceptions but shhh )

GABRIEL

Role: Messenger of Heavenly Decrees Ranking: Primordial One ( Original Archangel )

He is probably one of the laziest of the primordial angels. Why? Because it's not like the big G gives him many messages to hand out.

He doesn't really care all that much about a lot of things. He's seen so much shit that next to nothing surprises him any more.

What did surprise him however was hearing about the Exterminations. He didn't vibe with that.

Over time, he's actually come to think the whole thing of Heaven and Hell is kinda ... Ridiculous. Not that you'll get him to ever admit it.

He may seem chill but he'd literally trade someone's soul for a singular corn chip if they pissed him off enough.

He's a shit to the other primordials by sometimes purposely telling them bullshit just to watch them argue.

Demi, kinda leaning closer to Grey - Ace.

RAPHAEL

Role: Protector and Guide to New Souls Ranking: Primordial One ( Original Archangel )

Shortest temper of the primordial angels. Will not hesitate to smack others upside the head for misbehaving.

He does that but at the same time he's also someone that pushes limits at times just to see what the others will do.

Trained in multiple weapons. For what reason? Don't worry about it. It's not important I promise.

Was one of the few who knew about the Exterminations, warned about what would happen if others found out, but didn't really try to stop anything.

Doesn't involve him? Cool knock yourself out he'll sit back with popcorn and laugh as you dive face first into the mud.

Kind of an ass. No other way to put it.

Pan.

SERAPHIEL

Role: Grand Vizier of God Ranking: King of the Angels

He and his wife no longer talk. Or see each other at all. Don't mention her.

His daughters are literally the most important thing in his world and he'll fuck you up if you ever do anything to hurt them.

Probably the busiest, even more so than most of the primordials.

Eternally fucking tired please just let him rest for once ...

He had absolutely no idea about the Exterminations and, despite what some might think, is absolutely against them.

While he doesn't really like the idea of violence, he can and will throw down if need be.

Can you say single dad? ( yes he's down for a new spouse )

Demi. Stressed Demi.

URIEL

Role: Mediator of the Angels Ranking: Primordial One ( Original Archangel )

If you guessed Uriel would be the one that has the highest interest in Hell's denizens you would be absolutely correct.

He's slept with a couple of demons tbh. Don't tell anyone this. Not like he'll really get in that much trouble but still.

Genuinely misses Lucifer's presence in Heaven. He used to enjoy hearing what thoughts ran through the other's mind.

What if I told you he was always secretly fond of Lucifer but never said anything because he didn't want to risk anything.

Literally the brains of the primordials that are still in Heaven.

Omni. Has been single since the beginning of time. Softest boi until he needs to throw hands.

[catbirdstations]

splatoon characters favorite cereals headcanons. this is a awesome post guys please click read more please i beg of you

marie: plain cheerios

callie: fruit loops but specifically name brand Froot Loops. nothing else.

captain 3: only eats a large bowl of yogurt and granola that gives them the same effects as eating a puck of melted laxative gummies for breakfast

agent 4: eats frosted flakes for breakfast lunch supper and dinner

agent 8: after escaping from the underground they ate only special k for 5 months

pearl: eats kind of disgusting off brand cereal thats 90% sugar

marina: name brand cereal that tastes identical to off brand counterparts but costs more and she still eats it

shiver: ground up fish that she eats with her shark friends

frye: eats fruity dyno-bites and feeds it to her eels. they love it!

big man: honey combs because i like him and honey combs

agent 3^2: only eats oatmeal

little buddy: ground up fish again

splatbands

dedf1sh: sugar bombs and dirty river water

all of c side: lucky charms but only the marshmallows

fin bottom: potato chips

warabi: lactose intolerant but eats dry corn flakes

ikkan: also lactose intolerant but eats hospital raisin bran and whole milk

tangle bottom: eats unfrosted mini wheats with 5 tablespoons in sugar because I don't like him

taka: eats cookie crisps. need I say more

omega-3: dr pepper, blood, and root beer mixed together in a bowl full of wheat bran

paul: something something cereal that's 60% food coloring

ichiya: some discontinued cereal that somehow got put back on shelves. also 60% food coloring

[just-a-honey-badger]

Random marauders HCS because I totally don't have enough of these

James has ADHD

James is Desi and adopted (forgot where I heard this one but it's not really mine)

James is a hugger

James and Alice grew up as neighbours and best friends

James is allergic to strawberries

James' favourite number is 7

James' favourite colour is red

Peter makes friends with every single haunted house actor

Peter always has toast for breakfast, no matter what

Peter is obsessed with puzzles and can do the 1000 piece ones in two days

Peter can do a backwards somersault but not a forward one

Peter's favourite number is 3

Peter's favourite colour is blue (like that one in Google docs, corn blue or something)

Sirius has ADD

Sirius loves giving piggyback rides

Sirius's favourite ice cream flavour is rocky road

Sirius can do a cartwheel and a handstand

Sirius is fluent in French

Sirius's favourite number is 1

Sirius's favourite colour is navy blue

Remus has dyslexia

Remus loves pineapple-mango smoothies (that fancy bastard we all know and love)

Remus is a nail biter

Remus has the ability to sleep in until five minutes before class and still be on time

Remus' smile gets progressively wider as they spend more time with his friends

Remus' favourite number is 11

Remus' favourite colour is forest green

Regulus wears anything black or from the Victorian era

Regulus has a black cat named Lyra

Regulus is allergic to walnuts

Regulus is afraid of spiders

Regulus can bend their index fingers backwards

Regulus is fluent in French

Regulus' favourite ice cream flavour is mint chip

Regulus only likes chocolate sprinkles, not rainbow ones

Regulus' favourite number is 2

Regulus' favourite colour is ice blue

Frank is autistic

Frank is allergic to peanuts

Frank used to be afraid of magical plants (shh)

Frank is afraid of the dark

Frank is a little spoon

Frank is addicted to cookies n' cream ice cream

Frank is weirdly good at leap frog

Frank's favourite number is 7

Frank's favourite colour is any shade of blue

Alice is also autistic

Alice makes incredible dandelion honey

Alice's smile makes everyone else around her smile

Alice is plus-sized

Alice has 9 freckles on the left side of their face and 11 on the right (Frank counted)

Alice has never gotten a mosquito bite

Alice always wins at crazy eights

Alice loves bees

Alice's favourite number is 7

Alice's favourite colour is orchid

Pandora would love Lana Del Ray

Pandora has two piercings in each ear that she did herself

Pandora used to do ballet

Pandora can do the splits three ways

Pandora naturally has two different coloured eyes (blue and grey)

Pandora can do *perfect* winged eyeliner

Pandora can take down anyone in an arm wrestling match

Pandora's favourite number is 2

Pandora's favourite colour is silver

Marlene is a power bottom and we love her for it

Marlene has a pet tarantula (but he left in in the care of her parents, thank Merlin)

Marlene can lift a hundred pounds if he wants

Marlene skateboards better than anyone in her year

Marlene loves frogs

Marlene is a sucker for Marvel comics

Marlene is scared of koalas

Marlene's favourite number is 7

Marlene's favourite colour is maroon

Dorcas is a great story teller

Dorcas writes poetry

Dorcas doesn't drink

Dorcas is ambidextrous but favours her left

Dorcas has glasses but never wears them

Dorcas can drive a boat

Dorcas' laugh makes Marlene's heart melt every time

Dorcas and Peter do puzzles together

Dorcas' favourite ice cream flavour is strawberry

Dorcas' favourite number is 6

Dorcas' favourite colour is raspberry pink

Mary is Muslim

Mary loves sunflowers

Mary could single-handedly teach Arithmancy

Mary is scared of snakes

Mary loves turtles

Mary does competitive swimming every summer

Mary can do 12 crunches in a row, no more

Mary's favourite ice cream flavour is orange sherbet :/

Mary's favourite number is 4

Mary's favourite colour is yellow-orange

Lily giggles when she's nervous

Lily doesn't like the smell of cinnamon; it makes her dizzy

Lily's guilty pleasure is fried chicken

Lily is scared of the dark

Lily is a cottagecore lesbian (like me :3)

Lily has worn a dress three times in her life

Lily has claustrophobia

Lily occasionally joins Dorcas and Peter on their weekly puzzle nights

Lily's favourite ice cream flavour is mint chip

Lily's favourite number is 12

Lily's favourite colour is lavender

Evan writes poetry

Evan loves Shakespeare

Evan is terrified of bees

Evan has seasonal allergies

Evan is scared of the dark

Evan gets nervous around strangers

Evan hates public speaking

Evan loves the moon (for this reason Remus doesn't like Evan at first)

Evan's favourite number is 9

Evan's favourite colour is royal blue

Barty writes poetry about Evan

Barty claims to be allergic to James

Barty sleeps with a night light

Barty ate a fried cricket once

Barty decorates his room with wildflowers

Barty had an obsession with Batman

Barty's favourite number is 13

Barty's favourite colour is blue-grey

[pinkieloveheartpastel]

I like how there are trans people who have names like Crow, Popcorn, Fae, Dirt, Storm, Worm.

I need more names like that, but like the most stereotypically feminine shit. Like Sugar, Crumble, Cupcake, Princess, Kitty, Cloud, Sprinkle, Sparkle, Rainbow, Sunshine, Floral, Flora, Flower, Sunflower, Glitter, Love, Honey, Sweets or Sweetie, Candy. THESE ARE SO CUTE OMGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

OOOOHHH!!!! And also goth names!!!! Metal, Skull, Blood, Ghost, Darkness, Grim, Grimly, Shadow, Blade, Moon, Claw, Fang, Doom, Gloom, Raven, Thorn, Ash, Axe, Scale, Scar, Rain, etc.

And then just silly and random names like Chicken, Goose, Rabbit, Bear, Deer, Doe, Blue, Pink, Water, Air, Sky, Uni short for universe or unicorn, Corn, Bird, Little, Thing, Void, Waffle, Chip, Apple, Branch, Twig or Twiggy, Lobbie short for Lobster, TV or Teevee, Bee, River, Gust, Wind, Candle, Coal, Coral, Clown, Reef, Party, Bus, Happy, Funny, Sneezy, Smelly, Chuckles, Cheese, Cheesy, Sleepy, Forest, Fairy, Star, Hope, Opti short for optimistic, Tea, Caramel, Chocolate or Choco and Choccy, Cocoa, etc.

I love names.

(Also they don’t have to be for just trans people. Anyone can have these kind of names. I love them.)

(Also I used to have the name Chuckles on another site some years ago!!! Sir Chuckles!!!! Mac Sir Chuckles was my full name!!!! And Mac stood for Macaroni and Cheese!!!! Cause I love macaroni and cheese!!!! Macaroni and Cheese Sir Chuckles!!!!)

[kura-reviews]

Doritos Hot Mustard Review

Like yesterday's snack review, these are a limited time item from Doritos. They are apparently inspired by Chinese hot mustard, and were found alongside the ketchup flavored chips at Cub Foods. As a mustard lover, I was also intrigued by these.

My first impression upon taking a bite - where's the heat? I'm not actually familiar with Chinese hot mustard, so I don't know whether that's a normal thing, but there really isn't any "heat" of a capsaicin variety. There is in fact a horseradish-y/wasabi-like sting that hits the nose, which I liked, but the mustard flavor really isn't all that strong. The flavor also disappears rather quickly on the tongue, with no mustard aftertaste. There's a hint of sweetness, too, but not enough to liken it to honey mustard. It doesn't mesh super well with the corn chip flavor, either - they mostly just coexist, and once you've swallowed all you taste is the corn chip.

I'd rate these a 6.5/10. There's nothing wrong with them, but given how much I loved the ketchup ones (and how much I love mustard in general) I was hoping for more. I'd eat them again if they were available, but I would not go out of my way to buy them.

[freuleinanna]

movie night

Characters: Dylan Lenivy, Kaitlyn Ka, Ryan Erzahler (starring as a domestic polyamorous trio) Chosen ending: Any one where those three are alive and not infected Short summary: The chaotic bubbly trio has a movie night but pick the wrong film :D Words count: 836

Tags: @ryo-kaen, @althea-tavalas, @ech0lenivy1, @b33barlowsstuff (tagging those who wanted to check the works and/or specifically the characters in this trio, I think they all have an amazeballs chemistry!)

(yes I didn't find a single gif of all 3 together so I had to choose my personal fav oops)

((also I had to colour-code it bc it's all dialogue, but let me know if it's easier in b/w!))

‘Dooon’t you worry, guys, I’m the protector here, everything’s gonna be-- argh! Shit, false alarm.’

‘Real brave, dude, real brave.’

‘What are you doing, these are buttered! Get it off, Ryan!’

‘Shh-shh! Shhh! Here it comes, guys--’

‘I said get it OFF! Seriously!’

‘What’s the matter, Miss Butterpants?’

‘You NUMBNUT, that’s my designer’s--’

‘Shut it! I’m here for the corny dialogues in the film, not yours.’

‘Boo-hoo, Captain Hook, the crying sofa is in another room.’

‘Corny enough, Kat? How ‘bout more corn?’

‘I’M SERIOUS, God! You’re a hog, Ryan!’

‘…oh no.’

‘She didn’t.’

‘God, no…’

‘Oh, yes, she did.’

‘NO! I didn’t! I did not!’

‘She SO did!’

‘I’m gonna kill you two little…’

‘THE HOG!’

‘OF HACKETT’S QUARRY! Bwaaaaaa!’

‘Why, God? Why?’

‘…dude.’

‘What?’

‘…dude.’

‘Shut it, Jimi Hendrix, go play your imaginary guitar with your imaginary hand. RYAN, STOP WITH THE POPCORN!’

‘…dude, was that your hog sound? So lame.’

‘Turn your head and watch a movie, numbnut.’

‘What-nut?’

‘Dude, not cool.’

‘They are kinda numb…’

‘Oh my god.’

‘…cause you’re sitting on me, Thumbelina.’

‘Nope, not reacting to that.’

‘One more popped corn and your weight is gonna crush me down.’

‘One more word and I’ll pop your eye with my thumb, how about that?’

‘Guys, we missed like half the plot already.’

‘Oh right, so who’s the monster?’

‘I will be, if Ryan doesn’t stop pouring buttered popcorn all over my designer blouse! QUIT IT!’

‘Shush! Also, Ryan, buddy, my leg went numb thanks to Thumbelina over here.’

‘So?’

‘So move your ass! I need space!’

‘Use the space previously taken by your hand. Easy enough.’

‘That’s… low. Even for you, dude.’

‘Life’s not fair. Hey-- Hey. What are you doing?’

‘Avenging my Alexander Wang, you hog.’

‘…OF HACKETT’S QUARRY!’

‘…OF HACKETT’S QUARRY!’

‘Oh, god…’

‘Wait, is he a friend of yours?’

‘Dylan, honey, was your brain also in your hand what it got chopped off? My blouse. My blouse is by Alexander Wang.’

‘Ooh, someone’s touchy.’

‘Oh yeah? How much did it cost?’

‘Are we watching the film or not?’

‘Seriously, how much, Kaitlyn?’

‘Literally free, go eat your popcorn.’

‘If he can get it from under the shirt.’

‘First of all, is that where my safe-net fund go after you said you were too broke to chip in for pizza? And second of all… du-ude! Are you trying to make me lose the shirt?’

‘Yeah, Dyl, are you?’

‘Oh no, oh no-no-no, you can’t throw me under the bus, Kat.’

‘I can and I will the first chance I have.’

‘I’m always trying to make Ryan lose his shirt. But you, sweetums?’

‘Ew, it shouldn’t even be a word!’

‘You, sweetums, robbed our precious Ryan to buy a des shirt?’

‘I did n--’

‘UP TOP!’

‘Oh, god.’

‘I’m so proud of you. Not you, Ryan, you’re a gullible patsy. But we love you the way you are.’

‘Aww, gee, thanks.’

‘Yes, because you give us money. UP TOP!’

‘UP TOP!’

‘I hate you both.’

‘No, you don’t. Now seriously, get Thumbelina off my lap, I’ve at least one case of a numb nut.’

‘You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone, prick.’

‘Oof!’

‘Ouch! What are you--’

‘Sweet freedom!’

‘God, do you even have meat on your bones?’

‘Yeah, if you wiggle your ass more, you’ll definitely find it.’

‘Ew, gross.’

‘GUYS GUYS GUYS, the music! It’s on!’

‘Oh, right! Is that the monster?’

‘What are we watching again?’

‘Ah, who cares.’

‘What’s that one’s name?’

‘Stop wiggling, seriously!’

‘I’m sitting on a pile of popcorn, dude. That’s so ruined.’

‘SHUT IT! They’re gonna show the monster soon! Hear that? Dun-dun-dun, DUN-DUUUUN!’

‘Isn’t she, like, the main damsel in distress?’

‘Yes, that’s THE WHOLE POINT!’

‘She’s a damsel, she’s in distress, she’s gonna get eaten.’

‘Wow. Insightful. Thanks, Ryan the cinema expert.’

‘Oh my god, somebody hold my hand!’

‘Which one?’

‘You’re lucky I’m too emotionally invested to hit you, so just… okay??’

‘Ryan, hold his hand, I’m busy.’

‘Doing what exactly?’

‘Watching, duh.’

‘Oh, my-- Come one, dude. Aren’t you supposed to protect us from the atrocities of the classic horror movie night?’

‘Again, I’m too emotionally invested to—AAH OH MY GOOD!’

‘WHAT THE FUCK?!’

‘Shit, shit, SHIT! RYAN!’

‘I can��t hold both of you!’

‘YOU GOTTA!’

‘What the FUCK?!’

‘Fucking werewolves! GOD!’

‘Who DOES that?!’

‘It’s literally called THE WOLF MAN, DUDE!!! Didn’t you at least check what was on?!’

‘Unbelievable!’

‘Who’s got the remote, quick!’

‘Fucking werewolves! Grrr-ah!’

‘Okay-okay-okay, it’s under me! It’s under me! Or Kaitlyn!’

‘I’m under Kaitlyn, man!’

‘Oh shit, I got it, I got it! Oof, fuckity-bye, creepy 1940s wolf… people.’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘So… call it a night?’

‘Yeah, neat idea.’

‘I’m not letting go of you two.’

‘Come on.’

‘We’re leaving the lights on, right?’

‘Er…’

‘Ryan, not now. Dylan, yes we are.’

‘…’

‘I am SERIOUSLY never letting go of you two.’

‘Neither am I!’

‘Neither am I.’

‘Good, agreed. Nighty-night, then.’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘Fucking werewolves.’

[ketchup112]

I have my reason to make park snacks. One of them is for projects, others is for practice. Extremely hungry and wanted park snacks? Who knows? Anyone who's interested in my weird snack drawing ideas, feel free to ask what your favorite snacks or food are. Like the idea of those kind of foods, I will draw them in a doodle wall someday. I will also do the food status of Health and hunger from Don't Starve.

Carnival Apple- In health it will give you 5. And hunger, it might give you 3 or 4. Funnel cake- In health it will give you 3. And hunger, it might give you 9. Cotton candy, The colors. Whatever that the guy gives you. In health it will give you 6. And hunger, it might give you 2. Cinnamon carrot sticks- In health it will give you 6. And hunger, it might give you 6. Cherry tomatoes- In health it will give you 7. And hunger, it might give you 7. Pizza Dumpling- In health it will give you 5. And hunger, it might give you 10. Hot dog and chili dog- In health it will give you 3. And hunger, it might give you 10. Pizza pie- In health it will give you 7. And hunger, it might give you 10. Meat pie- In health it will give you 5. And hunger, it might give you 3 or 9. bag of chips- In health it will give you 6. And hunger, it might give you 3 or 8. A can of chips- In health it will give you 5. And hunger, it might give you 4. Corn dog- In health it will give you 3. And hunger, it might give you 6. Tia chips with sauce- In health it will give you 7. And hunger, it might give you 9. French fries- In health it will give you 5. And hunger, it might give you 10. Water and lemonade- in health it will give you 9. And hunger, it might give you 10.

All I give you more food options and drinks. Some of them are based off of my own mind, Some are based off of places that I went to Portland. And others I feel like could be tasty, but I cannot pronounce the name. As the same like the last time, it will be in Don't Starve rules of health and. Hunger . Anyone who has their favorite meal or drink. Let me know so I could put it on a doodle wall next time.

The honey stick- In health it will give you 6. And hunger, it might give you 4. Homemade ramen- In health it will give you 7. And hunger, it might give you 10. Random fruit pie-In health it will give you 7. And hunger, it might give you 9. Gumbo-In health it will give you 8. And hunger, it might give you 10. Steak-In health it will give you 5. And hunger, it might give you 7. Peppermint with honey- In health it will give you 9. And hunger, it might give you 9. Wrapped tamales-In health it will give you 3. And hunger, it might give you 10. Spinach wraps- In health it will give you 3. And hunger, it might give you 9. Table and fruit salad- In health it will give you 6. And hunger, it might give you 8. Fruit salad- In health it will give you 6. And hunger, it might give you 2. Cannot say name so special raw meat dish-In health it will give you 8. And hunger, it might give you 10. Mixed drink-In health it will give you 5. And hunger, it might give you 4.

[kaedeakeshisworld]

Misunderstanding

cw: Y/n being wife material, a shopping session to end the day, Leo and Y/n are the it couple for some reason insert emoji here, a little bit of a heated argument, reader-chan leaves Leo unannounced, Haruki is such a wonderful man ( still defending his boss though)

wc: 2819

gist: Y/n is going to confront Leo about the conversation she overheard when he was in his office. Is he going to tell her the truth or is he going to brush it off because it isn’t about her?

c/s: here you have it the second chapter of this story( the next chapter is already written, I just need to finetune it!)

I no longer run a taglist! If you would like to be updated on my works only, follow @kaedeakeshisworks and turn on post notifications.

Leo is still working, he hasn’t quit his office yet. You’re getting a bit bored here. Perhaps you should go home and sort your life out because the week is starting. Huh! You shouldn’t be thinking about that. 

Instead, you check the time on the clock. It's almost one pm. You’re getting hungry so you decide to check the cupboards, see if there is something that can temporarily soothe your hunger. Well some corn crackers, there’s chocolate chip cookies too. I find this odd! He is so fit. Why does he have such items in his flat? That’s none of my business. I don’t live here. Why should I care? Meh, you really want something solid now like… italian flavours in a light meal. Let me think! Pasta? Hell no, postprandial somnolence is going to hit me so hard. I won’t do a single thing throughout the day. Also, my body and my brain do not understand the concept of naps. Instead, I do nap roulette and go to bed with no wake up alarm. Who knows when I will wake up? In three hours or five? It remains a mystery to me. Telling myself I will sleep for forty minutes has only resulted in me waking up in the early morning. Find the problem? It’s me, obviously. Maybe a salad? That is not enough for me. Well, I have to cook for this liar too. Hey, I have to calm myself down jumping to conclusions so fast? I haven’t even confronted him yet. 

A jar of sun dried tomatoes, fresh ciabatta bread from the bakery, burrata in the fridge.

A pesto verde jar. A loaded toast would be great! I’ll finely chop some onions and squeeze lime juice on them for a bit of crunch. I’ll make some cucumber matchsticks for a side dish. Water is also needed.

But first, a salad made with lettuce, peach, avocado and some roasted sweet potato. A simple dressing sauce with olive oil, salt, maple syrup and balsamic vinegar with it is a delight.

One for you and the other for him. You plate everything, put it on a tray and head to his office. In front of that door, you wait a little to check if he's no longer on a phone call. Doesn't seem like it's the case. You knock on the door and hear his voice.

"Honey, come in."

He’s so focused on his work. As soon as you put this on his desk, you hurry to leave that room. You know better than to stay there. 

"Hi handsome, I got you some lunch. I hope you don’t mind me barging in your work space…" 

"Not at all, sweetie. Don’t stay there, come closer."

You go towards him

"Where may I put this?" 

He points towards the table facing the sofa

"I’m going to have a break. Would you honour me with your company?"

Do I or don’t I? I shouldn’t be here, I gotta go before my stomach grumbles. Also, I don't want to be with him now. What should I do?

"Y/n answer me, will you?"

"Uh…" Your stomach betrays you by its growling noises.

"I’ll take that as a yes I’ll be back with your food since you brought mine. Please have a seat."

He comes back shortly. Serves you your food, you thank him. He kisses your head and sits facing you on the opposite side of the table.

"Thank you for this wonderful meal. It’s really good. I love the sweet and salty combination  especially when it comes to salad."

Congratulating me now! Wow, you are bold. I wonder what his response to my question will be?

"Ah it’s not much, I just whipped up something quite fast!" 

“No seriously. Whenever I am fully absorbed into work I tend to forget to do the most basic things such as eating.”

“It can happen sometimes.”

“So…”

“Yes, darling”

I meticulously prepare my lie. Trying my best to sound confident with my words, right?! 

“I was wandering through the hallway” you scratch your head “and I overheard you say ‘how is my son going’ on the phone?”

“And?”

Be fucking for real in this moment. Just confirm or deny what I'm asking? Is it that hard?

“Can’t you read the room? Why would I ask you this?”

“Out of curiosity?”

“Don’t you think you have a little bit of explaining to do?”

“Love," he leans back on his seat and sighs before carrying on "if there’s something I need to tell you I will do it in due time. However, I do not recall talking loudly on the phone. So, I take it you were… secretly listening to my private conversation. It’s just a speculation, don’t get offended. If you do and question me then I hit the bull’s eye”

“How dare you, Leo? I did not do that?”

“You’re sure about that. Let me see… Ah you heard the lady’s name, right?”

You avert your eyes. They observe the ficus bonsai plant. You look at it for a good minute. Darn it! I thought I was cautious enough. Was he aware of my movements behind that door? Did I make too much noise? What am I getting stressed about?

Your silence corroborates his suspicion. 

“You shouldn’t worry about her. You’re the one I am with and I am obsessed with you if this can reassure anything. She’s a relative of mine so there is no use in hating her or ‘my son’.You’re so cute when you’re angry. I would like to see that side of yours more often. I know how to put it to work.”

You quickly change the topic of this conversation

“Let me take this to the kitchen.”

“No way! Let me do the work. I'll take this, put it in the dishwasher and I’ll call it a day concerning work. We’re going out. I’m going to give you the attention you need. The only thing left for you to do is to go get dressed.”

You go directly to his closet and pick one of his silk button up shirts. You chose a maroon one.  Get black high knee boots and let your hair down. 

“You look stunning!!”

“Thank you. You don’t look so bad either.”

“You got jokes, huh. C’mon let’s go!”

A skincare shop; your safe haven, numerous smells flood your nostrils and you can try new products. 

Oh, body oil and a whole new set for shower and bath routine. I have to check this out.

Skincare shops that let you try their sample products are a must. Of course, sanitising hands before touching my face is necessary. The smell of the store floods your nostrils. 

The extensive sort of products never cease to amaze you. A papaya one draws your attention.

The worker informs you that it is a new arrival and it progressively makes success. You open it. Honestly, the smell is divine. It makes your skin shine and they also have body yoghurt  for it.You need to get at least two you put in your basket.

“May I please get the whole set for this fragrance twice.”

“Coming ma’am. Is there anything else you would like to have?”

“Not for the moment. If need be I’ll ask.”

“I get it.”

Next comes the argan body oil. Some body butters for a change you get an aloe vera one, honey and the last one is cocoa butter. You pay all this with one of Leonard’s cards. 

You got a ton of compliments. Each time those came from men, Leo’s embrace tightened around your waist. You interpreted it as ‘I’m reminding you that you are only mine and I am yours. Don’t forget that’

But when women showered him with praise specifically because he looks like that. You were fuming inside. Bitches, don’t touch what doesn’t belong to you. Girl, you better get your hands off of my man before I start swinging. But he politely declined them, leaving them horrified with his comments

“I already have a wonderful lady by my side as you can see or maybe you don’t since you keep insisting like that. I can’t do women like you: you may ask why? The answer is simple” he leans closer in their ears to disclose the secret

“You simply cannot keep up with my high libido! When you are able to endure a sex marathon, let me know. I’ll gladly call you back. That is if I am on interested in someone else.” 

 He intently ogles your figure after he's done with his monologue. And he leaves them there, by the way these ladies are often well off and they’re just ten years older than him but he tried it twice. He thought it was better for him not to do it ever again.

"Why is everyone gone?"

"Because I am the one renting the store for two hours. You can get anything you need."

There is one employee mainly attending to your needs, picking up the clothes you tell him to and you also listen to what he has to suggest. 

Your eyes spotted the perfect dress. 

It's a black spaghetti strap dress with a vertiginous slit that is probably on your hip bone and goes a tad bit up. You have to try this on. It is the dress! 

When you enter the dress room, Leo goes after you and sits on the main sofa while you go change.

The first item you tried on was a midnight blue baby doll dress, there wasn’t much shine to it. It enhances your cleavage and makes your legs look superb with the peep toe suede black shoes. Fairly discreet but effective, nice!

You draw the curtain and ask Leo.

“What do you think about this one?”

 It takes him a good minute to utter his opinion upon this outfit.

“I think it looks pretty on you but we both know you’re less likely to call it your fave fit.”

“You’re right! I’ll try some more on.”

You draw the curtain back and try on a scandalous pair of jean short shorts. Honestly by the look of it, you’re pretty sure this will leave your buttcheeks without any supervision whatsoever but it doesn’t hurt to try something new? You pair this one with a crochet crop top that leaves nothing to the imagination concerning your pierced nipples. It’s small, you got some underboob hanging but damn it looks good. This fit completed by sandals or mules would be perfect. You’ll get some later. 

You draw the curtain again for your eyes to land on him. You do a little slow spin for him to check out what you’re wearing. When you’re done you don’t miss his smirk as well as his change of tone.

“What do we have here?”

You play dumb, he knows exactly what this is about so just say it.

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

“So you wanna play like that…”

“Play what? I don’t get what you’re saying.” You continue “I think this is a great outfit for summer so I’m getting this one.” 

His eyes for some reason are still glued on your nips. 

“You never informed me you had pierced nipples?”

“You never asked about it so why would I?”

"Behave!"

“Oh!” you giggle “You’re really going to do that here?”

“Do what?”

“Great, keep playing dumb. I like that.”

Next item is a golden tulle peplum dress, adorned with a black belt that highlights your cinched waist. Majestic embroidery on the hem of it. You put your hands on your hips and strike the Josuke Hijikata pose.

"That's a business woman type o’ fit. We’re getting that one!"

"And… my opinion?"

He eyed you up and down. He motioned his left hand for you to do a 180. You oblige. He bites his lower lip. I can't wait to be next to her in that dress. Good Lord, have mercy on me! I don't think I deserve her sometimes.

"I know you like it."

"A little bit."

"You can always grow to like it. We don’t have to get it now. Maybe later when a few important dates come up."

"Yeah, let’s do that!”

This black spaghetti strap risqué-ish dress. Woah. This is trouble. No panties already because of the slit. Let me just see his reaction.

“Uhm… what do you think?”

“Sit on my lap.”

You do. His hand lands on your hip bone and he strokes it, painfully slowly.

“What are you doing, Leo?”

“Nothing honey. I am appreciating the gift before my eyes. Won't you let me?”

“I'm your gift.”

“No underwear too? My goodness, you're a menace.”

“You wanted to see lacy panties?”

No answer for this one. You get up and leave to try the other item. He calls the employee.

“Please, I would like to have the catalogue for this specific dress.”

“I'll bring a copy to you right away. Anything else?”

“I want this dress in cobalt blue and black.”

“Noted and added to your item list, sir.”

This is the last one I'm trying. A strapless trumpet dark olive green dress. I feel like a princess. It's so long, I’d have to pair this with stripper height type heels because the only other option is to get it tailored. Yeah, the last one might be it. 

"Here I am."

A little twirl to showcase this lovely dress. 

"You look absolutely stunning!"

"I’m getting this one tailored."

"Great idea."

Shopping is done for this you don’t know the cost because Leo insisted that you shouldn’t know. That’s only if I don’t figure it out myself.

In the car

I’m going to stop this semblance of tangible peace. I have to. I won’t back down until I know who she is to Leo.

“So, won’t you tell me who she is?”

“Who are you talking about?”

“Aura? Who else could it be?”

"No, I’m not. It simply doesn’t concern you.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, that's between her and me.”

Why is he trying to keep the matter private? I… I thought there were no secrets between us but apparently I am undoubtedly wrong. Where did I sign up for this type of suspicious behaviour? He does not budge one bit when I want to know this person’s identity. What is he trying to hide?

“Want to keep this going?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Oh, yes you do. You. fucking. do. Leo!”

“Why are you making a scene all of sudden, Y/n?”

"It is my legitimate right to."

"This is something out of your control, get over it!"

You know what. Good for you I’m out this shit

Leo leaves the car without looking at you. You can sense he’s over it. Your persistence is something he might not like as of now. 

I ain’t changing for nobody. He better tell me who she is before I find it myself.

“Haruki please, take me home.”

“Yes, ma'am. I just have to inform sir Burns that I am doing it.” 

He reaches for his phone and looks for Leo’s number in his contacts list. As he is about to press the call button, you stop him from doing it.

Haruki has never experienced someone grabbing his arm in such a way. He looks at your hand and then his eyes make contact with yours. Well, this is definitely something out of his reach yet the least he can do is listen to what you have to tell him.

“Please, don’t! He’ll come looking for me and I don’t want him to. I would like to be alone.”

“Understood.”

You provide him with your address. It’s a short silent car ride of twenty minutes. You’re on your phone checking a few emails you have purposely ignored up until now. You redact them and program them all to be sent by this evening at eight o’ clock. The car finally stops moving. Haruki quits the driver’s seat to open the door for you. But first, he gets your shopping bags.

“Thank you ever so much Haruki.”

“There’s no problem. My pleasure.” 

He also gives you his card to let you know you can call him.

“I don’t know what happened between you and the boss but if there’s anything I can do to help you. Please, do not hesitate calling me!”

“That is very sweet of you. Drive back safely, Haruki.”

“I will.” 

And just like that he leaves you at your door. You send him a message right away to let him know your number that way he can save it. But you didn’t expect this peculiar message from him.

Ma’am, it is none of my business to interfere between you and the boss but I have to let you know that he doesn’t cheat on women. He is not of that kind. Have a wonderful evening! 

Haruki

Chapter 2 of After all, it's not bad idea to get a Sugar Daddy

Let me know what you think about it! Any kind of feedback is welcome!!(ps don't be rude)

m.list 

2023 @ kaedeakeshisworld

Translations/ modifications/replicas/property of my work are strictly prohibited.