#I am back on my bullshit

[jq37]

Your sister who you love so much (even though you’ve never shown it) asks you to be her sister again, her true sister, in deed not just in name. And yes, of course that’s what you want. That’s what you’ve always wanted and now that she’s shattered your defenses and destroyed the ones who would pit you against each other and died right before your eyes, how could you refuse? How could your answer be anything but yes?

So you go home with her, not the ruins of your perfectly posh prison, but a new home which provides love and care and bunk beds and it’s so so nice. Ridiculously nice. Sickeningly nice. And a small, sick part of you almost misses your old home (if you can even call it a home) because yes, it was cruel and awful and you hated every second of it but you knew where you fit. You knew what your role was. You don’t fit in here. Everyone accepts you because they’re all so nice, but they don’t know how to volley back your sharp words or find a hidden, “I love you” within an offhanded insult. 

And then your sister leaves to save the world again because that’s who she is. She’s the kind of person who goes out to save the world with her friends when she’s needed and you’re not. You’re not, not, not. Not on any count. You don’t save things, you destroy them. And friends? You have to allow yourself to be vulnerable for friends so of course that’s out. Your sister is 16 and she’s out saving the world for the third time and you, fully grown at 18, are a wanted criminal who hasn’t even properly graduated from high school. You can’t stop thinking about it and, without your sister and her friends occupying the house as a buffer, the ones who are left try to get you to talk about it so you make a rash decision, as you are wont to do. You leave, like a thief in the night. You can make your own way. You can. You’ll prove it.

You find a shitty apartment and pay for it with the ill-gotten spoils from one of your many exploits. You could probably pawn some treasure for more luxurious  accommodations–there is that chest of rubies just lying around–but you don’t. That’s not what you deserve. And what if your sister needs help later? You don’t have access to your parental funds anymore which means she doesn’t either. You know she won’t ask anyone for help–you wouldn’t. But someone has to look after her. You’re an abjuration wizard. You protect people. You protect her. No, that’s a lie. But you want to make it not a lie. You want to start now.

If you’re saving the rubies then you need a source of income. You narrow down your least villainous talents to try and find a suitable job and hit on teacher. You’re good at magic, right? So how hard can teaching it be? Hopefully not as hard as securing the job, which proves trickier than expected because, oh right, you’re a wanted criminal who hasn’t graduated high school. But you dip into your villainous talents once more and tell yourself it’s for a good cause. You secure the job. You’re doing it. You’re making your own way. 

You want to text your sister to see if she’s doing alright but you don’t want to intrude and you don’t want to answer any questions about what you’ve been doing because then either you’ll have to lie or explain that you’ve left again, right after you promised you’d be there. Both options make your heart ache, especially since it’s her birthday. So you wait until the house is empty (mostly empty–you’re never really alone in a haunted house) and enter the room you and your sister shared for too brief a time. You paint her walls with carefully rendered runes, filled with all your abjuration magic and stamped with your arcane mark. It’s a possessive bit of spellcraft. A selfish claiming of a climactic kill. You mean to make a different kind of claim. You are claiming your sister, as she asked you to months ago. You are telling the world that she will not be fucked with while you live. Your rooms were so close before. You could hear her. You knew every night she went to bed in the grips of a panic attack with no one to console her. She won’t have to feel unsafe in her own room again. You can make sure of that at least. 

The sun rises one morning and you know that means your sister is alive and well and coming home. You teleport to Falinel to make sure she returns to her favorite dessert. It’s worth the spell slot and the chance of being recognized. The tower where they kept you is long destroyed and you know that this time, if you were ever captured or even killed, rescue wouldn’t be measured in a matter of months. It would be days. Hours even if your clever sister and her powerful divination magic put things together faster. The thought fills you with more emotion than you know what to do with. You leave a note. “I love you,” you think. “Enjoy the nemesis ward,” you write. 

Practicing magic, as it turns out, is a very different skill than teaching magic. The children are loud and obnoxious and you don’t quite realize that maybe your expectations are too high between the hothouse you grew up in and your sister being the world’s greatest diviner, fullstop. You know you can always go back to the manor, but that somehow makes it easier to stick it out. You’ve always been taught that pressure provides the best results but there’s something about the security of a safety net that makes everything a bit more bearable. And so what if you have to take a second job involving a light criminal element. You’re only smuggling–that’s barely even a real crime.

Your sister who has saved the world thrice now, texts you and she wants help. She is looking to you for help. And you do your best to oblige. You offer your knowledge, you offer your rubies, you invite her over again and again. She sends you a text and deletes it. You’re not the diviner in the family but you drain your spell slots scrying for information you already know. Information that you'll hear from her own lips in just a few hours. “I love you.”

She finally visits and you’re not unaware of the state of your apartment. You know you’ve been too exhausted for an Unseen Servant or even a round of Prestidigitations but you know that your sister has seen your mind and there’s nothing messier about you than that. She teases you and you tease her back. She’s the only one who understands how to deliver a complement with a backhand so you can receive it without your skin crawling. The only one who knows how much tartness you need with your sweetness. 

Later, she visits again. She sits in your filthy apartment and you watch trash TV and it’s the highlight of your week. Your month even. That should feel pathetic but, somehow it doesn’t. You want to tell her. She deserves to hear it from time to time without having to filter out the layers of prickliness that you add as second nature, a layer of armor as ever present as your abjurer’s ward. You may not be able to handle naked sentiment but she can. You’ve seen her with her friends. How affectionate they are. You’ve always been taught that loose lips sink ships but you have experience with ship sinking and this prospect fills you with much less dread. You tell her and it’s awkward and fumbling but you manage. Maybe loving people isn’t so different from loving cats.

You have a new job which is perfect because the school year is almost over and, blackmail or no, you aren’t sure how many times you’ll be able to get away with casting Sleep on your class to give yourself a break. Honestly, you should have applied for jobs in Leviathan from the start. Why would pirates care about your sketchy history and lack of credentials? You could teleport yourself to Leviathan every day but that would be a waste of a spell slot when the door to Leviathan is right there in the manor (and if your sister happens to be there too then hey, happy coincidence). While you’re there, you might as well do your laundry. And stay for dinner from time to time. And spend time with your sister in your her room where your runes stand sentinel and your old bunk lays untouched. You don’t think you’re staring but later, as you go to grab a snack from the kitchen your sister throws you a casual, over the shoulder glance. 

“You can just move back in, if you want.”

And would it really be that easy? Just like that? After a year of trying to make a point or a plan or a better version of yourself or whatever? Just like that? 

You remember a year ago. You and your sister and words that will be burned into your mind forever. 

“Despite the fact that you have not earned it, I do love you.”

Just like that. 

You say yes. You stay. 

[inamagicalhallucination]

merlin au where merlin makes friendship bracelets for everyone he likes but plot twist he’s merlin and he likes everyone like come on he adopts ppl like 2 minutes into meeting them

like

obviously gwen has one - one of the first if not the first he made in camelot - yellow and purple

and gaius too but his is one merlin made when he was a kid - its really old so the colors are faded but its made of all the thread merlin could find and its kinda ugly but he loves it anyway cuz he’s a fucking sap

and then during some attack on camelot sir leon pulled him back because its his fucking job but merlins like <3 omg a new friend and leons like uhhhh but he never takes it off

lancelot leaves camelot with honor and a yellow bracelet and a new best friend <3

even the great dragon has one but its less of a bracelet and more of a ring

a bunch of the servants have one - almost everyone in the kitchen (they give merlin extra food so he’ll make one) the guards outside gaius's door (which is lowkey why they never report the magic because they and merlin are besties) 

morgana wears it with her ridiculously fine and expensive jewelry 

sometimes visiting nobles leave with one 

a bunch of shop owners have one

because merlin’s literally besties with everyone

but who doesn’t have one?

arthur

not because merlin doesn’t like him (though he’ll admit (only to himself) that perhaps he doesn’t want to be just friends with arthur) but because merlin simply doesn’t think he’d like one

on the other hand arthur’s seething with rage and jealously and when leon showed up with one arthur may have been a little more vicious in training

when one of the other knights gets one he gets vicious in training every training session since then

morgana knows and makes sure to flash her bracelet in front of his face

on the other hand merlin knows that arthur wouldnt like one but merlin still adores him so mayhaps he sews in a little pattern on the inside of arthur’s shirts that he’s mending where no one will notice but merlin will see him wear the shirt and think he’s wearing merlin’s friendship :)

yeah

[illogicallyinclined]

I, I, I need you What useless feelings

[tuometarr]

(x)

[torontoicehounds]

Tyler Bertuzzi + his new hair | Maple Leafs Media Availability 02.04.24

[h0neywheat]

thinking about mirror imagery and teru over here like. One of the first scenes we see is teru looking in a mirror (at least in the anime) the fact the shattered mirror bit happens during "he succumbed to using his hands like a commoner" he's looking at mob...the mirror shatters his perfect world to look at his bald head/current reality. "You ruined everything" and he just wants mob to show him his powers to prove he is better but it's really more of the chance to prove they are the same. SPEAKING OF THAT. LITERALLY "WE'RE THE SAME" CAUSED THE WHOLE CHOKING MESS

he also compares himself to a star and uses the "shine" part of his name as a nickname...interesting considering the mirror symbolism and how light is only reflected and refracted in mirrors

teru's whole thing with having too many specialities to list...he constantly copies those who he feels lesser than in order to get better. we don't know where his original mindset came from (its implied it's a mix of his parents neglect and claw targeting him) but the way he behaves and how he acts feels like it needs to come from somewhere. Especially considering once that worldview is knocked on its ass, he mirrors mob because he believes mob to be better than him. terus sense of self is so materialistic and only skin deep despite actively doing his best to change his behavior. does he realize he is a good person? he's been told he is, but has he internalized what makes him special is not defined by accomplishments? he seems so melancholy at the end of the series...teru are you OK?

[halfagone]

This is in response to my dad gagging when he saw me dipping my pizza in ranch- you think I can control what I do and don't like Dad?! It is a Natural Reaction.

[yangyangchuu]

wednesday dominating tyler fics is great. its hot. its world changing.

but have you considered: wednesday getting fucked to oblivion, getting pounded to the next century by tyler until her thighs are shaking from squirting so much, her eyes rolling back and her mouth drooling from overstimulation and tyler's just cooing at her and calling her a good girl as she tries to crawl away from under him to take a breather-

[castieldelamancha]

Dean cradles Castiel close against his chest, for the first time, for the last time. His legs tremble, his knees threatening to buckle and make him fall, with the weight of the body he is carrying, the weight of his exhaustion, the weight of his sorrow.

He shakes his head when Sam offers his help, he doesn't need it, he doesn't want it, he wants to do this for Cas, hold him closely, caringly, he looks down at him, hidden behind the fabrics Dean wrapped around him, he prays his goodbye, one last time, he heads towards the pyre. He misses Cas so much.

.

Dean cradles Castiel close against his chest, for the second time, for what he hopes won't be the last. He walks steadily, slowly, trying his best not to jostle Cas and risk waking him up, he is getting sleepy too, but he can make it to their room. He hopes so, he isn't as young anymore.

He makes a face when he crosses paths with Sam, who is heading to his own room for the night, his brother doesn't say anything but Dean knows he will call him a sap come morning. He doesn't care that much. He wants to do this for Cas, hold him closely, caringly, lovingly, he looks down at him, smiling softly at the peaceful expression on his face, at the way he nuzzles even closer to Dean, he mutters a "good night, sweetheart", he heads to their room. He loves Cas so much.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

I would like to consume him whole, please. The entire man. Right into the mouth. Yes.

[marimeeko]

I know I complain about Bones' habit lately of barely animating certain scenes(and i am gonna continue to if i see the need or if i have to vent abt the opinion) but like I am going to really be feral if the part where Katsuki catches Izuku when he faints is one of those static "screencap" moments with no animation put in.

Like I can see it now, they show a moving image of the water splashing as Katsuki runs forward(but no katsuki himself) and then cut immediately to an unmoving, 1 to 1 replication of that manga panel, with the only motion there being mouth flaps and maybe the movement of Izukus cape.

No, I want to FEEL the weight of Izuku falling forward like a sack of potatoes. I want to see Katsuki literally CATCHING that weight. His body and grasp reacting to it. The care as he adjusts to the weight and holds izuku steady, paired with the soft, tired, and SO CARING "I Know/we know" as he holds him, Izuku PASSING OUT in his arms. Maybe throw in some extra care with Katsukis hands shifting to best support Izuku. MAYBE A CLOSE UP ON SOFT BAKUGOUS EXPRESSION as he holds Izuku, if Bones is feeling extra generous!

I. Need. This scene. To have the dynamic animation it deserves. Please I am begging 🙏

This of course goes without saying, but the rest of the UA retrieving Deku arc NEEDS TO BE ON POINT. Honestly, it is one of the best parts of the series and it deserves SO MUCH. But so does Katsukis entire apology moment in this arc! It has a special spot of importance and please Bones, all I want is ANIMATION. I just want the emotional and physical WEIGHT of these moments.

[theworldlookswhite]

hello hermitcraft fans

[freeuselandonorris]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Formula 1 RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Lando Norris/Oscar Piastri Characters: Lando Norris, Oscar Piastri Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Foot Jobs, Comeplay, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, actually excruciatingly romantic and mushy i swear to god, lando is down bad, oscar…also Summary:

Oscar curls his toes and squirms. “Knew you were a foot guy.”

“I’m not,” Lando says. “I’m just, like — dunno. An Oscar guy.”

Well, that’s fucking done it. Stupid, stupid. His face is flaming; he can feel his ears glowing.

“Wow,” Oscar says, deadpan, but his eyes are doing the thing they do when Lando’s accidentally said something that made him have a feeling. The usual rosiness in his cheeks spreads across the bridge of his nose.

[partiallypearl]

SCHOOLS OF THE OTHERWORLD:

MALACOY ACADEMY

Originally founded in 910, Malacoy Academy is second to Alfea’s lead in the training of young fairies and specialists. Located in the eastern cape of Solaria, MA is known in particular for it’s alumni, who are commonly involved in politics, and the arts.

@winxsource

[somestorythoughts]

Radioactive Eldritch Jedi

Okay so when I say radioactive. The Force is primordial and eldritch and the jedi (and any other force users of a comparable level) resonate with the echoes of this primoridal of-the-world-and-yet-not-the-world energy like your body when you’re so close to a marching bacd you can feel the drums in your bones and they’re not the music or the instruments, they’re only the echo thereof, but the echo of something from the depths that bore the universe is still A Lot.

And when you look at them. There’s teeth that aren’t there the next minute, you could count them again and again for half an hour and never get the same number twice in a row. And that’s not mentioning when their teeth don’t fit in their mouth, don’t match each other, when there aren’t teeth in their mouths but claws...

That’s just one element of their face which is one element of their body.

You can smell them, even the species that don’t have particularly good senses of smell though it is far more distracting for them. Something fresh with light or rotting with dark, herby or sea salty or citrusy or floral and threaded with sweat or blood or sex to suit whatever they’ve been doing and it wouldn’t be remarkable except they smell simultaneously like their species and like something else entirely in a way that is clearly but indescribably not caused by soap or perfume or oil.

There’s a resonance in their voices. Something like there’s a drumbeat in their throat, like they’re speaking with the vibrations of a song you’ve always heard without knowing it, but always perfectly understandable. The sound of jedi singing in harmony with feeling has reduced cities to tears of joy or tears of pain, blood dripping from their ears in mirror of their tears.

Don’t get me started on their shadows, on the way they move in the dark

And they’d be leaking this strangeness 24/7 except they keep themselves so tightly shielded, not only hiding themselves so that they appear uncanny and not terrifyingly Other (they’ve been there time and time again and it is a problem. There are Consequences) but also keeping any of this force-energy-resonance leaking out into the world. Places where force sensitives have lived a long time thrum like a pulse, are touches with the energy of generations of force users relaxing enough to let their shields lower and their selves to leak and brush the walls and tables, etching their presences into the place like fire into wood, and when this touches people it changes them.

Not immediately. Not quickly. It can take months for anything to change and this is why jedi keep their shields maintained, because if you’re fully shielded nothing will happen, and this is part of why attachments are risky, because the emotion can affect the shields can change the one you love, because to say you love a jedi is not the same as accepting all that they are and being willing to change along with them because you can’t dodge that forever, and saying you’re willing to do this isn’t the same as being willing.

The changes aren’t quick, and not as Eldritch as the jedi, but they are permanent and definitely Other.

When shields crack or break, when a jedi lashes out with the force, it brushes an imprint on everything around them (those with any kind of vision skills can find this difficult or comforting to deal with, like a too-large gulp of hot tea) and a few times on the same thing doesn’t matter. Genuinely. Repeition is an entirely different matter.

War is hell. 

War is hell, and the jedi are holding on to each other for support, clinging interlocking arms, but they’re scattered around the galaxy and it’s so hard to actually reach each other.

Sometimes to know you’re supported isn’t enough. Not when you can’t reach their shoulder to lean on, for just a moment.

And the clones are going through hell with them, are dying around them, and they reach out to support the jedi who are doing their best not only to help them survive but to help them live in a war that wants them dead for a senate that doesn’t care and the jedi recognizes them as people so they reach out and the jedi can’t help but reach back.

The clones catch them when they fall, love them in different ways each as sure as the tides, and the jedi relax into it without realizing. Their shields crack over and over again because war is hell, but they also find them relaxing them, instinctively and unconsciously, because so little is certain but the clones’ willingness to go to hell and back for them is one of them and they feel safe.

And the echoes of the force that resonate in the heartbeats-nervepulses-bloodflows of the jedi leaves imprints on the clones that rises like paint added layer by layer and it changes them.

The clones don’t have a childhood of familiarity to fall back on, much less the shielding techniques to keep them looking “normal.” What they have is legions of brothers willing to support each other come hell or high water or unending clankers and jedi who at first beg their forgiveness for changing them (because it wasn’t supposed to happen and because they like how they are but everyone already sees them as strange and to beg forgiveness for making them like them is many jedi’s first instinct) then teach them how to hide it when they need to and the comfort of singing together, their voices ringing through their ships in tune with the thrumming in their blood, bone-deep.

[tofufei]

郭顶 《凄美地》 — The Fog Space by Guo Ding

凄美地: lit. desolate, beautiful land

不知疲倦的人啊，去到那个一切未知的目的地。 Thou who art untiring, go forth, towards that unknown destination.

translation under the cut

曾经我是不安河水 穿过森林误入你心 没计划扎营搁下了是非 一去不回 I used to be a turbulent stream. Meandering through the forest, I entered your heart by mistake. I had no intention to linger, yet discarding right and wrong, I stayed and didn't return.

如今我是造梦的人呐 怅然若失流连忘返啊 等潮汐来临 我就能记起 你的样子 Now, I am the creator of dreams. I couldn't tear myself away but the nagging feeling of loss can no longer be drowned out. Once the tide rises, I’ll be able to remember your shape.

我没看过平坦山丘 怎么触摸开花沼泽 I have never seen flat hills, How can I reach the blooming marsh beyond?

嘿等我找到你试探你眼睛 心无旁骛地相拥 那是我仅有的温柔也是我爱你的原因 在这凄美地 Once I find you and see myself in your eyes, The only thing that will matter is our embrace. This is the only non-violent part of me and the reason I love you, Here in this beautiful, wretched place.

曾经这里是无人之地 为何没留下有效地址 肆意的消息迷失在十月 没有音讯 This land used to be uninhabited. Why didn't you leave me an address I could reach? Shameless messages that got lost in October received no reply.

如今这里是风和日丽 等你再回来雨过迁徙 看夜幕将近 我又能记起 你的样子 Now, this is a place of sunshine and gentle breezes. If you'd return, it would be to a time when rain no longer falls. As night falls, I can finally remember your shape again.

我还记得平坦山丘 如今身在开花沼泽 I still remember the flat hills. Now, I’m drowning in the sea of marsh-flowers.

嘿 等我找到你试探你眼睛 心无旁骛地相拥 那是我仅有的温柔也是我爱你的原因 在这凄美地 Once I find you and see myself in your eyes, The only thing that will matter is our embrace. This is the only non-violent part of me and the reason I love you, Here in this beautiful, wretched place.

在这之前别说再见 我已再经不起离别 在这之前别说再见 我已经开始了想念 在这之前别说再见 请帮我停住这时间 就这样 别安慰 Please don't say goodbye before this, Another farewell is impossible for me to bear. Please don't say goodbye before this, I have already started to miss you. Please don't say goodbye before this, Will you help me stop time? Let us remain like this, don't comfort me.

嘿等我找到你望住你眼睛 心无旁骛地相拥 那是我仅有的温柔也是我爱你的原因 如此不可及 如此不思议 让我坠落在这凄美地 Once I find you and lock you inside my gaze, The only thing that will matter is our embrace. This is the only non-violent part of me and the reason I love you. Such is the height of folly, Impossible and indescribable. Just let me fall in this beautiful, wretched place.