#I am not sure how long this fandom fixation will last but it is very strong suddenly

[likes-words-and-shrimp]

small update

Hey I meant to do this earlier! Especially before I started reblogging a bunch of stuff but I already did whoops. Just a few things happened in the last few months like getting a higher salary and trying to stop a dog fight. (Suggestion: Maybe don't do that because I got bit lol I'm fine tho).

For things that will affect reblogs, I definitely just got very into Hazbin Hotel. :) So. Expect a lot of fanart reblogs like I've already been doing. (Please blacklist the tag if you're not into it! I get it!) I have also already written four fics for it in like a month with a new ship obsession, so this has definitely helped my writing productivity. Like insanely. I even got such awesome fanart for my fic (warning: it's suggestive as heck!). The bad news is this has effectively made me pause on all my other WIPs for other fandoms. I see you, Mithos and Lloyd fic... I still want to finish you one day.

For Tales stuff though, I am still planning something for this summer so expect an announcement soon! Because I still love a certain ship always. I will still reblog plenty of Tales/Symphonia stuff.

(and if you like hazbin hotel and/or radiohusk let me know thanks)

[bumblebeedrizzzle]

Original art by ug0nba on Twitter (X)

I was so inspired by this art and decided to write a little fic because I haven’t seen many for this fandom! I’ve been thinking about posting this for weeks… I’m really happy with it and I hope it makes you smile too! This is my first published fic, so please be nice to me!（╹◡╹）

Warning: This is a tickle fic, if you’re not into that then please keep scrolling, thank you!! ✌🏻 It is SFW tho!

Fandom: Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun!

Reblogs are totally fine and appreciated but please don’t repost! Thank youuuuu! (*´꒳`*)

Can you tell that I was heavily influenced by my favorite ship, Iruazz?

Asmodeus was feeling a little distracted. He’d invited Iruma over today so that just the two of them could hang out. It was great hanging out as a trio with Clara, but sometimes he wanted one on one time. The day had been going well, but then Asmodeus found himself very fixated on something: Iruma’s ears. They were so small and round and cute!! How had he not noticed this before?!

At first, he’d tried not to stare. But then Iruma had swept his hair back into a little ponytail and now he found himself transfixed. Small, round, cute. Small, round, cute. small. round. cute. He was pretty sure he’d missed the last few things Iruma had said, but he couldn’t help himself.

Entranced, he found himself leaning forward, his fingers reaching without his permission —

“Eep!”

Well that certainly got Asmodeus’ attention. He looked down and realized that he had pinched the top of Iruma’s right ear, thereby causing the aforementioned boy to squeal. Oh devils was that cute…

“I-Iruma-sama! My sincerest apologies! I did not mean to startle you. It’s just, I’ve never noticed how round and cu - I mean small your ears are! I might have gotten a little carried away. Again, my apologies.”

“O-oh, it’s okay Azz-kun,” Iruma said with a sheepish smile. “It just tickled a little is all”

Ticklish. Iruma-sama is ticklish. His brain overloaded. Iruma-sama was so cute so cute so devi-cute!!!! Play it cool, Asmodeus.

“Oh, I see. Yes, that makes sense.” How was that playing it cool?!

…

After a few moments, he tentatively asked:

“If I am more careful, w-would it be okay for me to touch them again? I-if it’s not weird, Iruma-sama I just noticed that our ears are so different and —”

“It’s okay Azz-kun, go ahead!” Iruma beamed.

Oh devils this boy was going to be the death of him.

“R-right, h-here I go”

He leaned forward again, focused intently on his task. Truly, Iruma-sama’s ears were like nothing he had ever seen. He made a point to be more gentle this time, which he hoped would help. After a few moments though, he noticed that Iruma’s ear was slowly turning red. Without thinking, he blew softly on it, hoping to cool it down. That was the reason it had turned such an adorable shade of red, right? He was dimly aware of some light chuckles and Iruma squirming. When he looked at Iruma-sama’s face, it too was turning a light shade of red.

Oh. Right. Oh devils. He should stop now, he should really stop —

Chomp.

“Wah! Azz-kun?!”

Yeah, he definitely wasn’t going to be able to stop. You know what they say about demons and desires and all that.

He continued nibbling on Iruma’s ear, now with the sounds of light giggles coming from nearby.

“A-Azz-kun? Are you ehehe d-done looking at my ears haha??”

Iruma was met with more vigorous nibbles.

“I-is this a normal wahahay t-to lohohook at s-someone’s ears?? I-it tihihihckles Azz-kun!” the giggles were getting harder to stop.

Asmodeus was long gone. Not in a wicked phase sort of way though. Actually, he wasn’t worried about his wicked phase coming around for a long while now, not with this adorable stress reliever in his hands. But all common sense had gone out the window the second he’d gently chomped down on Iruma’s ear. It was so soft!! And Iruma-sama’s giggles had to be in the top 3 cutest things he’d ever heard. He wanted to hear more; he couldn’t possibly stop now. His fingers appeared to agree as well, as they started fluttering lightly over Iruma’s neck, eliciting even more giggles from the boy.

“A-Azz-kun, hehehehell to Azz-kun! Y-you’re tihihihickling me! P-please! Aha!”

His squirming was getting more deliberate now as any self-control for Azz’s curiosity was losing to the overwhelming ticklish feelings on his neck and ear. He tried looking up towards Azz, but the demon let out a slight growl and continued his shenanigans. Iruma was left to helplessly giggle and hope for a break. He tried holding out for a while longer, but eventually pleaded:

“H-hehehehello?? I-I d-dohohon’t know hohohow much mohohore I can tahahahake, A-Azz-kun!” and with that he gently pushed his hands against the demon’s chest for the first time. That seemed to register.

“I-Iruma-sama?” he blinked.

“A-Azz-kun hehehey. S-sorry i-it just hehe tickled a lot and I couldn’t, “ he blushed more, “My ears are really sensitive.”

Asmodeus looked down with a mix of remorse and disappointment. His whole face was bright red, all the way to the tips of his pointy ears. When he finally met Iruma’s eyes, they were pleading.

“Could I tickle you a little more? P-please? Iruma-sama?”

Ba-dump. Oh devils. That face. Those eyes. That word. He never could say no when people said please. Well… maybe it wasn’t so bad to laugh a little. And Azz-kun had stopped when he’d truly asked.

“U-Um, s-sure. I-if you want, I-I guess. I-I suppose I c-could try to lahast a little longer” he said with a blush. Could his face get any hotter?? What had he just agreed to?

Asmodeus didn’t need to hear anything more. He pulled Iruma back into his chest and went straight for his left ear, receiving a fresh round of giggles in return.

“W-wahaha! I-I wasn’t ready! Hehe this is eheheven wohohohorse. Y-yohohour f-fangs tihihihihickle sohoho muhuhuch!!”

Asmodeus wrapped an arm around Iruma’s waist to keep him from squirming away. With his free hand, he scribbled the back of Iruma’s neck, enjoying the fresh round of hysterics and pleading. When he’d had his fill there, his hand roamed down to Iruma’s shoulder blades. Much to his delight, this produced a new response:

“EEP! Ahaha!! W-wait haha I-I’ve n-never beheheen tihickled thehehere. Ehehehe!! A-Azz-kun!! Ahahaha!!”

Iruma-sama really isn't helping himself calling my name like that. He stopped nibbling for a moment to say:

“I-Iruma-sama, if you want me to stop, then y-you’ll have to stop being so cute”

There was a pause. Well, it was official, Iruma’s face could get even hotter. But before he could think about what had just been said too much, the tickling resumed.

“C-cute?! I-I’m nohohot!! W-whahahat w-waiaiait w-what dohoho you mehehean?? Ahahaha g-go somewhere ehehelse p-please!!”

Asmodeus chuckled, sending reverberations into Iruma’s ear. He shivered.

“I suppose you are right as always, Iruma-sama. You will never not be cute. Silly me. I suppose you’ll be stuck like this forever then.”

“Wahahahahaha!!” was all Iruma could say in response. He had covered his face with his hands. Teasing, he’s teasing me! That makes it so much worse.

Iruma had erupted into full-blown laughter now, and sensing that he needed a change of pace, Asmodeus started scribbling up and down the boy’s sides with both hands. Above the desperate pleas and squirming he whispered into Iruma’s right ear,

“Don’t even think of escaping, Iruma-sama. I’m not finished with you yet.”

Iruma figured if he could melt into a puddle, he would. His pleas became incoherent babbles as he wondered what in hell had gotten into Asmodeus today. He wondered if maybe he should have been more careful. After all, this was a demon tickling him. Who knew how torturous it would be? Was this how tickling always went in the demon realm?

　　　　　　 ・・・・・・・・・

Ribs. Sides. Back. Tummy. Ears. Neck. Collarbones. All Iruma could do was laugh as Asmodeus played him like a violin. He reached new octaves when he felt black-tipped fingers slip into his armpits — and he redoubled his efforts to scramble away.

“Yahahahaha nahahahahaha A-Azz-kuhuhuhuhun p-plehehehehease c-can’t t-tahahahahake ihihihit!!!!”

“Surely you can take it, Iruma-sama. I know you can because you are magnificent in every way. Even your laughter is magnificent — “

“S-stohohohop t-teheheheheasing mehehehehehe!! Nahahahahahaha!!”

“ — you are truly worth following, I am proud to be your friend.”

“Ahahahahahaha A-A-Ahahahahzzzz!!!!! H-happy tohohoho behehehe your frihehehend too, b-but ahahaha ihihit tihihihihihickles sohohoho bahahahahad!!”

“There is a simple explanation for that, Iruma-sama. You are the best at everything, of course. So you are also the best at being ticklish!”

“B-behehest at beheheing tihihihihicklihihish?!? Ihihis thahahat eheheven a gohohohohod thihihing??”

“Of course it is! Allow me to demonstrate, using a technique I learned from our Torture class —”

Torture?! thought Iruma. Oh devil, this was it, Azz-kun had figured out that he was a human and trying to torture it out of him —

Suddenly, Asmodeus reached down and kneaded his thumbs into Iruma’s hips.

“Ah —,” Iruma sucked in a breath. “GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHH!!!!!!”

Iruma’s nerve-endings jolted and his whole body spasmed. If he’d been taller, he might have smacked his head into Asmodeus’ chin. But as it was, Iruma was quite small, so he slammed his head back into the demon’s chest instead. He continued to scream incoherently.

“AHAHAHAHAYAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! NAHAHAHAAHAHAH H-HEHEHEHEHELP MEHEHEHEHEHE S-SOMEBOHOHOHOHOHODY HEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Oh but Iruma-sama, you gave the tickle monster permission,” Asmodeus purred. “No one is coming to save you now.”

Iruma was much too busy with flailing and laughing to reply. He could barely think of anything except how much it tickled. What had they been doing before this? How long had it been? Was Azz-kun torturing him for real or just being playful? Such thoughts were long gone. His nerves were singing and he was trying to keep up.

“WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AZKHXJAHVIKAHVDX YAHAHAHAAHA”

The thing that finally brought Asmodeus out of his reverie was when Iruma’s laughter went silent. He knew the boy was stilling laughing, since he could feel the reverberations, but the room had gone silent. Then it really registered what that meant, and he quickly stopped. The boy kept laughing even after, slowly dying down into giggles. Asmodeus was too afraid to face him, so he wrapped both arms around Iruma and pulled him close to his chest.

“I am sorry, Iruma-sama. It seems I let my feelings get the better of me. I will need to continue training to make sure that i-it does… not happen again… please forgive me.”

There were a few moments of silence. Iruma’s heartbeat was still trying to return to a normal pace.

“Actually,” Iruma said, “it was… kind of fun….” he finished quietly. The tops of his ears were blazing red.

“I’ve never had a proper tickle fight with a friend, er well, it wasn’t much of a fight, but you know what I mean…”

“Y-you’ve never been tickled before?!” Asmodeus exclaimed.

“Well, maybe a couple times. But they aren’t super fond memories for me.” he paused. “But today was different. It wasn’t so bad in the beginning when you were being gentle. Then you started tickling harder and I definitely panicked a little, but honestly Azz-kun, it wasn’t so bad after all! Not being able to do anything but laugh turned out to be surprisingly relaxing. And, I feel safe… with you.” Iruma turned and looked up at him with a blinding smile.

Asmodeus’ heart soared and he found himself blushing and grinning uncontrollably. Iruma-sama is just so wonderful and thoughtful. He always knows just what to say to me.

“I-Iruma-sama, thank you!! I am so grateful for your trust!!” he beamed. “D-does this mean that…?!” he asked excitedly.

Iruma chuckled at his friend’s enthusiasm.

“Yeah, just remember to be gentle with me! And stop when I ask” he responded with a small grin.

“Of course, Iruma-sama!!!”

“And next time I want to be able to get you back!!” he said playfully.

“Absolutely! I will wait in anticipation, Iruma-sama!”

Asmodeus was sure he had never felt so happy and lucky in all his life.

[riddle-me-ri]

A/N: asdfgg finally dipping my toes into another fandom. Not sure how long this fixation will last but damnit if I don't see a grumpy sarcastic hot traumatized character and I do not get attached (by no means am I an apologist just a simp lmao and I am a sucker for deep characters) 

For anyone reading this purely from the atsv fandom. Hey hi hello, I'm Ri, I'm usually known for DC stuff but I'm an all around whore nerd (meh both) and I was inspired by atsv as I'm sure all of us were and just couldn't not like do something with the ideas in my head lmao so go easy on me friendos but glad to to see you here and thanks for reading! Also new banner who dis? New fandom new banner…may or may not change lmao

Trigger Warning: None, maybe some angst if you squint? Overall just a fluffy wee dream because those are always fun.

Word Count: 713

Miguel O'Hara x Reader - Just a Dream

The sun beamed down on you as you practically roasted on the metal bleachers. It was too hot to not wear shorts but it also was too hot to not have some kind of protection for your thighs. 

A man beside you chuckled as you played hot potato between each thigh trying to keep one body part from getting more burned than the other. 

The man was a looming figure to say the least. His cheekbones caused his eyes to slightly squint as he continued to be amused at your discomfort. 

"I swear, I don't know how you're wearing a long sleeve shirt in this weather." 

"It's light colored, it doesn't attract the sun." He responded. 

"Still, how are you not hot?" 

"Amor, I'm always hot. You should know this." 

He chuckled as you rolled your eyes at him. He patted the top of his thighs conveniently protected by a pair of thin sweatpants. 

"You also know, you can always sit here." 

You nudged him and he faked a hurt whimper. 

"I will not embarrass our daughter like that." 

He nods as he puts his hands up in mock surrender. Completely out of ideas to protect your skin from the scorching metal.

You groaned, opting to sit where the denim met the metal. Even if you were practically about to fall out of your seat. You tried to distract yourself by watching the girl's soccer game in front of you. You kept your eyes peeled for a certain little girl in particular.

You reluctantly couldn't deny the girl was the spitting image of her father, the man beside you teasing you. Even though she was just as much yours as she was his. 

Still she was very much a daddy's girl. 

Soon you were saved from the bleachers as you stood up to applaud your daughter for scoring the winning goal for her team.  

Down on the field, laughing and smiling, celebrating. You were recording the victorious day on your phone. Your daughter, Gabriela was nestled proudly upon her father's shoulders with a cupcake in hand. 

Her dad opened his mouth to mention something only to be interrupted by a cupcake being planted on his cheek followed by the sweetest squealing fit of giggles. 

You and him both join in, not sure if it's from the humorous sight of frosting on his neatly cut cheekbones or her laughter being that infectious. 

"All right, well, piggyback privileges have been officially revoked." He brought his arms up to lift her up off his shoulders and safely place her down. 

She took a satisfied bite from her cupcake, still giggling proudly. 

He looked up to face you but ended up looking straight into your camera. 

He chuckled some more before muttering, "all right, that's enough." 

You put the camera away still giggling. You went up and scooped some of the frosting off his cheek and onto your finger. You put the finger in your mouth, tasting it. 

"Not bad..not bad…could do without the sweat though.." You commented as if you were a food critic. 

This caused your daughter to double over again in laughter. 

"Well, sweet and salty frosting is an acquired taste." He quipped. 

More snickers can be heard just below. 

You nodded to let Gabriela run off to talk to her teammates as her dad reached up to wipe the decadent frosting off his cheek. 

You leaned in and gave him a kiss on his once messy cheek. "Ah that's better." You giggled. 

He beamed down at you, a soft sweet smile. "Ah, that can be better-" 

He curled his finger just below your chin to raise your lips up closer to his. 

You smiled as you leaned in for a kiss–

You sit up, your alarm blaring on your bedside table. You quickly snatched your phone to turn it off. 

You cursed under your breath. Same dream…same damn dream. And the same two people…a little girl…at least you got her name, eventually, Gabriela. But the man…your…dream husband?…Her father…was still a mystery. 

It couldn't be a coincidence, they…they felt so vivid…like they were memories…

The soccer games, birthday parties, breakfasts, anniversaries, dinners…it's like you lived some double life in your dream.

But that's all they got to be right? 

Just a dream?

[id-rather-be-home]

Oh I wanted to say something about this but I didn’t want to come off as I’m pushing my opinion into you bc some authors take it that way but after seeing your last ask I kinda am just sharing my opinion too now lmao.

Ok when you said that the fic will be bottom Will from now on I remember feeling so sad lol bc there are hundreds of bottom/sub Will fics and not bottom/sub mike nearly half of that. This fanfic literally felt like what the bottom/sub Mike enjoyers have been waiting for all along and after so long we finally got what we wanted and got it waaaayyy better than we could have hoped for. wwtwcs and maybe one other fanfic was our reward for patience almost, it is sacred. And i really love your writing (the characters AND the smut especially the way you write dom Will). Anyways then the Will in the fic said that he prefers topping and I remember literally shrieking with happiness lmao. I also enjoy the few chapters you wrote with Will being the bottom but still being the one in charge, like I said you write beautifully whatever it is you write. (Like i really don’t like reading sub/bottom Will, just something that’s not for me but you sure SOLD ME on it lmao it was beautiful 💜)

Anyway again, this is your fanfiction and you get to do whatever you want with it. I mean isn’t that how we got here and it became my favourite fanfic in the first place? Also just because there are so little solid bottom/sub Mike fanfics doesn’t mean you’re responsible to contribute to it even though you are one of the lead authors of it right now. I didn’t write any of this to pressure. not like you’re gonna care what a stranger on the internet is going to say but I’m just saying this as a person, like a little child I am🙄, who’s scared that one of the key elements in their favourite fanfic is going to change drastically (not your problem either obviously) I wasn’t gonna say anything but after your last ask, I wanted you to see the both sides of your own little fandom :)

this doesn't come across as pressuring to me so don't worry about that at all!

to be completely honest, when i got that comment on the fanfic i was worried that people actually weren't going to enjoy the sub!mike direction that it was taking me and so i tried to shift gears to bottom/sub will but it didn't really work out because i just... can't really write him very well??? top/dominant will just comes so much more naturally to me because for whatever reason that's what i feel would make sense for his character i guess

however, i've clearly gone off on my own for the fic by this point and have been doing what i want and what i think feels best for the flow of the story as well as the natural progression of the characters. and i have been genuinely SO SURPRISED by the love and praise that my work has gotten. i have literally converted some people to loving bottom/sub mike and i absolutely love that

that being said - i cannot imagine this fic taking any drastic turns from where it is already progressing! when i mention bottom or sub will appearing in some of the chapters, i'm referring to things that i've kind of already explored in previous chapters because will is NOT going to get much more submissive than what has already been seen

like, the chapter i'm working on now that i mentioned in the last ask - he's more 'submissive' because he gets eaten out and then wants mike to fuck his thighs because mike loves them, but will still controls a lot of the pace. also we get a bit of a glimpse into will's oral fixation but he can still be in control even with mike's dick down his throat lol

i don't think that will's preference for fucking mike in the fic is going to change because that's my preference to write which i guess is really what it comes down to at the end of the day

and when there are chapters of will bottoming (because i do have a couple planned) he's still very much in control while mike is submitting and just doing everything he can to please will and be good for him. like in the riding chapter i mentioned at some point, will literally makes fun of mike and taunts him by saying "you're whining like you're the one getting fucked"

so i do want to reassure those of my readers that come to this fic and love it because it is primarily submissive/bottom mike - that isn't going to change. it's going to still be primarily that with some bottom will sprinkled in where i have already planned it but it won't be anything drastically different

i have 3 bottom will chapters definitively planned and i doubt that the number will get much bigger than that if i'm being totally honest because writing him bottoming is always a struggle

i really do want to please both sides which is why i've been going back and forth on more bottom will appearing, but with each chapter i write, it's just less and less likely to happen so it really should be marketed as a bottom mike/top will fic since that's what it mainly is

and, anon, you do have a point that there are a heck of a lot more bottom will fics for people to choose from, so i am more than happy to provide something for the submissive/bottom mike lovers out there especially because it's something i love as well

i'm sorry that this was ramble-y or if it sounded a little harsh at times??? it isn't at all directed at you anon, or anyone else! i guess this is just me finally realizing that 'when we touch we are caressing stars' is going to be most enjoyed by those who enjoy submissive/bottom mike and that bottom will truly won't make too many appearances

[gaykey]

I’m the shawol-somsom anon… you’re right LMAO I probably came off a little too strong and made assumptions about you. I’m on vacation and have too much free time for my own good, I’m sorry about that. Btw It doesn’t bother me that you specifically stopped supporting Key, I don’t know you and I barely use tumblr, but I remember you being one of the biggest lil freak/locket accounts on tumblr a few years ago (at least, that's how it seemed), so I got a little frustrated because I know how big accounts influence the perception of the rest of the fandom. 

But I’m not sorry about saying the whole thing feels hypocritical, I still think that. Because what I said is true, FK and Taemin are not better than Key (can’t speak on Jonghyun, Minho and Onew because I do think they try to be more sensible about social issues, and their responsibilities as idols); if I thought Key was horrible, then I’d think they’re horrible, too (disclaimer: I don’t think they are horrible). I simply don’t understand it, and you’re much older than me so it feels even more confusing how you can reconcile the idea. And I would like to have a conversation but tbh I’m a little scared to come off anon bc I don’t even know how tumblr works.

hello again.

it's cool, like, i get why you said what you said. i know i probably come across as very wishy-washy on here at times?

but in regards to key. i also don't think he (or taemin, or first or khao) is a horrible person. at all.

and i'm not saying that they haven't all done problematic stuff. i don't know for sure what fk have done or said, because i'll be so real, i haven't delved that deep. i'm just about below the surface level of being a somsom, but they're people like anyone else, so they've probably fucked up somewhere.

with key however, i was down deeeeep in that fandom lol. 16 years is a long time to be that fixated on a person. every little thing he did was on my tl and dash. maybe that's why his action in particular seem bigger to me?

and, the reason i chose to distance myself from being a lil freak particulalry, was because with key, it wasn't just a few minor instances, or little things that i could excuse so easily.

though i haven't forgotten, i forgave key & taemin for their coulourist remarks they made last year, because i felt that their apologies were genuine.

i acknowldeged shitty thing's key's done in the past, and gave him the benefit of the doubt. many times.

but truly, it felt like the past year? he's just been doing them over & over, unlike taemin, and first and khao. to my knowledge.

i can only forgive so much? and like, key is someone i did - and in many ways very much still do - admire and hold in high esteem (i know putting him on a pedestal is a ME problem, but i'm just being real about how i feel and perceived him) so, it HIT way harder.

i get why that comes across as hypocritcal - i do - but it doesn't feel like it is to me because of the continunity of his behaviour.

i don't know if you were here as i was making the decision to unstan, but it was tough. and i am older. i'm a grown ass woman, so it felt silly to be so emotional about the whole thing tbh.

also i don't want or mean to influence anyone's opinions, however i am starting to get that maybe i do in some way, because i was a pretty prominent key blog for a while???

which is why i try not to talk about him at all too much these days.

maybe i'll forgive him again, maybe he'll do something to redeem himself to me??? idk!

and anon, fr, feel free to come and talk in dms or even send me a message here off anon if you wat to talk. i promise i'm nice, and i'll keep it private if you din't want people to know your blog.

no worries either way xx

[imfinereallyy]

9 People You Want to Know Better

I was tagged by lovely @doublecherrypiediscosuperfly it meant so much you tagged me -`♡´-

Last Song: Allergy Season by Rachael Jenkins, and Figure 8 by Paramore, they are both on loop so I can never remember which played last.

Currently Watching: I've honestly been just rewatching stuff lately because I'm in kind of a lull with tv shows. Sometimes watching new shows gives me anxiety ( I am a strange person I know lol), and I have been avoiding watching the last season of Ted Lasso because I know I'm going to be sad. But I have been just putting on Catfish in the background anddddd I did watch the first episode of Heartstopper s2 today (I am trying to be slow with it because but I want to binge it so bad).

Currently Reading: I love books, but I haven't read like a physical one in so long. Like I am stuck in the fan fiction cycle. I am honestly not complaining, some of the fan fiction is top tier and are better than a lot of books, just if anyone was expecting a book published for money? well the last one I attempted to read was 'My Dark Vanessa' which was really good by very triggering so I had to put it down for a bit. I hope to finish it soon. But some really good fics I've read recently include:

Intricate Rituals by zade

I know I've kissed you before (Can I try again) by ChristinMKay

Long Live the Boy King by goldblooded (wellwished)

However Wild by Ayes

Latest Obsession: I mean, other than all things stranger things (ha) and steddie related, I always have something new I'm obsessed with (blame the adhd) and what you to get to know me a little outside the fandom. Currently, I am learning how to crochet (I am terrible at it) but it gives me something to do with my hands, which is nice! Like @doublecherrypiediscosuperfly I am obsessed with my dog right now. I don't have a picture on hand on my laptop, but message me if you want pics! He is adorable, and big and thinks he's a lapdog when he really is not. But I wont crush his dreams.

I'm not sure if this counts as an obsession but I am currently fixated on finding like a really good-smelling perfume, the lasts long but also isn't ridiculously expensive?? If anyone has a suggestion, please tell me I'm coming up blank.

No pressure tags: Really don't feel pressure, but it would be lovely to get to know yal better. You can even message me instead or add me to a discord chat (I only just made one lol). @its-steddie-time @penny00dreadful @wynnyfryd @henderdads @stevethehairington @hairstevington @steveshairychest @stevesbipanic @steviesbicrisis

[old-hyper-super-clover]

Hi Koni!🤗💜As promised, I finally thought of an ask for your OCs😌hoping it's not too trivial, stupid or complicated🙈In any case-

We already know about Clover's feelings for Jamil, and in your last post, I read that Klee seems to have a soft spot for Jade, so a question arose: how did their crushes begin? Was there attraction at first sight, or did love blossom only after a particular event?🤔

I would like to know how Clover and Klee respectively lived their experiences☺Thanks in advance for your time!✨

Finally I got to answer this! Sorry for the long wait, I've been having a glorious streak of migraines and/or bad moods... But yeah, I'm feeling pretty good today, so here I am :>

Klee

It's kinda funny that you asked about this, because I can happily tease that the next story to drop will feature Klee's experience about falling in love with Jade! I hope I'm not spoiling too much, but the boy is... very quick to fall in love. And he falls HARD. For being as expressionless as he is, Klee sure feels love very intensely, and uh... Well, you will see for yourself xD

Since that is a bit short of an answer though, I'll take the liberty to switch fandoms and talk about his love life in obey me a bit.

Klee is way more introverted within the obey me Universe, much more fixated on being an author and he generally just does his own thing because again, no one takes any interest in him anyway.

That is until, one day at the RAD library, Klee is seeking comfort and reaches for a human world book, in fact one of his all-time favourites...

... Then his fingers touch those of Satan, avatar of Wrath, and Klee grows absolutely weak to this cliché happening. Yes, he has known the demon brothers for weeks, and yes, he has exchanged, like, nine words with Satan. But right there, right now, Klee saw before is inner eye how he'd grow old together with Satan, at least eight children at their side, a house turtle to accompany them as they-

Ahem. Sorry.

Well, when Satan then even was so kind and told Klee to not mind him and take the book...

... That ultimately sealed the start of Klee's heavy, heavy crush that shows lots of daydreaming, secret fanfic writing and hoping that all his sudden life plans with this weird cat loving dude come true eventually 💕

Clover

(also back to Twst)

As for Clover ... She had a similar experience, but fought against it at first.

Clover doesn't believe in love at first sight, because in her opinion, that would only involve a person's looks, which she absolutely doesn't want to judge people on.

And yet... When she first laid eyes on Jamil, she was charmed immediately. I imagine she was invited to have dinner at Scarabia dorm, being friends with Kalim already. Looking for Kalim in the kitchen, she instead encountered Jamil, who was skillfully cooking up several dishes at once while humming a little tune to himself. And, well, his name doesn't translate to "beautiful" for nothing - his athletic body, his dark locks, his V O I C E - Clover couldn't help but stare until Jamil noticed her presence, shooting her an amused little glance, maybe paired with a sassy little remark, and thereby killing her off completely.

But yeah, Clover HATES having crushes on highly attractive people, since those also make her act all stupid and blushy around the person. But you can't be friends with Kalim without being around Jamil, too, right?

That led Clover to see more and more of him, how hard he worked, how tired he looked. Jamil stroke her as a flawless, rather cold being - which she usually isn't attracted to at all. However when she started catching glimpses of his snarky side, his enormous fear of insects, and this blush that involuntarily crosses his cheeks when he's being complimented...

... Clover wanted to never miss any of those moments ever again. She needed to see this person behind the mask, needed to support him with all she got.

She couldn't deny her feelings any longer.

I'm still thinking of a nice moment of realisation for her, where she admits it's more than fancying Jamil for his attractive traits, but rather genuine care for whom he is. I might also write that out one day 💕

------

I hope that answers your question dear awkward noodle friend! Thanks again so much for asking about my OCs, I can't describe how happy your interest makes me ♥️

[galaxies-unknown]

Hey, guys. It’s- been a while, again. Haven’t really posted here aside from signal boosts since March... My energy has remained on my little passion idea, and... I don’t have energy for anything else. My panic attacks have begun to calm down, but I did end up reverting back to being on melatonin and caffeine... So, yeah.

TL;DR: The hiatus continues, may become a full-blown archive. RP’ing on Discord only, for now. Doing better, mentally and physically.

I figure this fixation of mine on MHA won’t last a full-blown year, but it’s... possible. It’s certainly looking that way, since it’s been about seven months, and Toshinori Yagi continues to infiltrate my every thought. In that time, I had a few thoughts- and honestly, I considered archiving all my RP blogs on Tumblr entirely, because I feel bad staying away so long and claiming I’m ‘on hiatus’, when all my energy is on one fictional guy.

I also considered making new multis- dropping the muse list down even further, and just keeping my Sonic muses, KS, Queen Chrysalis, and Yagi/Fin. Technically, I already have the potential Sonic and KS multis already made, and the YagiFin one has been around for a while... But I still only have energy and desire for the one idea.

So the hiatus is going to continue. Most likely, it will end in an archive. Also potentially, I will return once my energy for Toshi has waned enough that I feel a desire to come back here more than just keep everyone else happy because I loved all we built.

From the dynamics of Velte with Dusk, to the friendship of Peach and Rouge with Bel, to the Sensei family chaos with S-Mun... I do love everything that was made here. I loved chatting with all of you, and I do hope we can continue to do so- I’m just not high-energy in those fandoms right now, nor will I probably be for a while longer. I’m not gonna ask you guys to stick around, especially with how the hiatus has been going on for two months, and probably won’t be ending soon, if it even does.

I’ve by-and-large swapped to RP’ing on Discord for the time being, and accepting very few RP partners at a time.- All of whom are MHA RP’rs, since that’s what my brain is stuck on like a broken record...

I’m available on Discord, under Writer#7548, if anyone wants to still chat. I recently culled my friends list of people I figured wouldn’t want to contact me/I haven’t spoken to in ages/didn’t get anywhere with, so apologies if you find that I’m no longer on your friends list. You can feel free to re-add me if such a thing has taken place.

I am still faintly active on Tumblr, but that’s under a new main that is NOT devoted to RP. I won’t be giving out the tag unless asked, since I know y’all are RP’rs and... This is kinda me saying my goodbye. I don’t know if it’s forever, I want to make it permanent and just come back or stay away- but I’m not sure what it is, if I’ll be back, all the things... I just hope you all do well. I love you mates, and thank you for the 4+ years of crazy Tumblr RP chaos. Please remember to take care of yourselves, and do what makes you happy (within reason).

[melodyofthevoid]

Writing Wrap Up 2022

So... this year I want to take a bit of a different approach. The last 2 years I’ve wrapped up my writing by posting one from each month and thanking y’all for reading, which I thought about but then... it hit me. 

I haven’t really posted anywhere near half of what I’ve written this year. 

It’s a little insane to me, I’ve posted a shit ton these last 2 years, racked up an impressive word count for sure, but this year was. Different. For a few reasons. 

So this is just going to be me contemplating and examining how my writing has changed this year, if you’ll indulge me. 

Talking with a friend, the year itself stuck out to me. 2022. 3 years since I started writing at all. To keep the story brief, I wrote my first work on winter break back in 2019 at the behest of my bestie @/freshfruitforrottingvegetables (I’ve @’d them enough times crediting them for this) and posted it on ao3. I’ve pretty much been writing non-stop since. Invader Zim got me into writing, and the community I found there boosted me and gave me an absolutely incredible support system. 

But, other than the occasional reblog, this isn’t really a Zim blog anymore. I certainly don’t write about it as much, if ever. Now there’s a few reasons for that, not the least of which being almost 3 years is the longest I’ve had a fixation in a while. I’m amazed it held on as long as it did. Second was... I finished the royalty au. It’s almost hard to remember the beginning of this year but back in March, I posted the last chapter of “Isn’t it A Trial”, wrapping up the project I’d spent nearly two years trying to complete. My first big project. 

And it was done. 

There were a few other behind the scenes things that led to distancing from IZ from a writing standpoint but those aren’t really the point of this. 

For the first time since starting this journey, I was... on my own, so to speak. It was weird, scary at times even. Hell, I’m still very much adjusting to doing entirely OC work. The circle of people I’m posting to isn’t a huge thriving fandom, it’s just my mutuals, and those who’ve come to love the Ocean Idiots crew. I throw in some of my (and @/shmunter’s) ocs in as well, but that’s what I’ve been writing from y’all’s perspective. 

As I said, that’s not even a fraction of the stuff I’ve written in my own time that I don't post. Before, I was writing for an audience on some level. They were always stories I wanted to tell, but there was also the excitement of putting them in a pool of collaboration and community. That there were others. Now, these are my stories almost (really key word of almost, I’m not claiming sole ownership of anything) entirely. 

So I’ve had to adjust. I’m still adjusting. I’ve had a lot of days where writing had been a real uphill battle for me and I questioned the quality of my work. What does it mean now that I’m writing for a more narrow group? Is there a point to it? Am I less inspired now? How can I tell I’m growing or not? Can I tackle the scope of project I want to tackle next? Each time I think about it, it gets more and more daunting, overwhelming even. 

That one post about “Aww did you scare yourself out of doing a project” plays often in my mind. Very often. 

It’s going to be a weird year, even few years going forward. Graduation is on the horizon, with the prospect of maybe moving out and making it on my own from here on. I might move away, I might stay home. There’s a lot of unknowns and within that is what I’m going to do with my writing as well. It’s a part of me now without question, but what form will it take? Will I take? 

Much to consider.

So for this moment, I’m choosing to focus on celebrating the changes that have happened, the work I’ve done this year. The ways I’ve improved, the small leaps into different original ideas that I’ve had. I’ve had a ton of fun with making aus for just myself and like- one other person. I had a blast writing for my old DND characters too! There’s a lot to be proud of, and that’s what matters. 

I want to see what I can do, and I think sticking to some short stories while I shore up and figure out what to do with my bigger concepts might be where I go. Maybe not. Who knows. But at the end of the day, we’ll find out when we get there. Thank you, all of you, for your support, your comments, and your encouragement this year. It’s been a good one, for all its ups and downs. 

[snarky-art]

I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED AN ASK FOR THE SHIP MEME IM SO SORRY

It was about Rox x Nex and Daphne x Valtor

For Roy x Nex

LOVE the concept. They get together in my thing lol

The “not gonna end well” and “eroticism of attempted murder (exaggerated in this case lol)” comes from them when they first meet. They’ve got a weird beef with each other. Weirdly fixated, mainly Nex though. Roy is pretty chill. Nex starts antagonizing though and Roy has just Gotta take on the challenge.

Them: im just paying extra attention to him because I’m upset he wants Aisha. Absurd, he wouldn’t mesh well with her. I’ll show him.

Them later: I was right. I am upset he wants Aisha because it turns out I want him. He wouldn’t mesh well with her, he would mesh with me. I’ll show him.

In a weird homoerotic competitive limbo for a while, then they figure it out. Don’t really explicitly define what they are for a little while, but they’re together for sure.

Roy is devoted in a very tender and soft way compared to Nex, who’s more emotionally explosive and loudly declarative of his devotion. A warm and cool combo. Roy mellows him out some. Hand holding and flowers alone together vs grand gestures for the world to see and a hold on the others waist. They appreciate the ways the other shows they care.

That doesn’t mean they don’t still compete or take the other up on a challenge though. Playful competition. They push each other to be better and improve in all different aspects in life. I’m very fond.

For Daphne x Valtor, forgive me I don’t think I like Valtor in the same way as much of the fandom seems to.

I view him as slimey, manipulative, sadistic, power tripping, cruel. I love to hate him. I don’t love him in an affectionate “oh my scrungly hot Victorian” way I see a lot of others enjoy him.

I can’t imagine Daphne being interested in him. In canon, she didn’t meet him until Domino was attacked and her family and kingdom was under threat, if she saw him during the attack at all. I don’t vibe with her being into him with that context, not even in a forbidden fruit kind of way.

I can DEFINITELY see him being interested in her though, and that’s something I find simply delicious to explore and play with, especially because I don’t know how much of his interest would be romantic or just a vye for power.

The way he acted towards Bloom in canon always made me uncomfortable. Suave, confident, weird undertones of control and a want to hurt disguised in almost romantic gestures. If that’s how he is with Bloom, the youngest of the dead Dominion Royal Line and holder of The Flame, a holder who barely has a grasp on that supreme power, I can only imagine how he would be towards Daphne, a god bound in flesh, Supreme Nymph of Magix and Heir (a well owned title for her too, unlike Bloom, who hasn’t the skill nor the power in his eyes) to what was considered the most powerful Kingdom in all the magical world.

If they ever met before The Fall of Domino, it would be haughty laughs, snide comments, overconfident gestures, all met with steel and venom.

“Oh, little Nymph, how lovely of you to grace us with your presence on this fine morning. Do you have any plans before the meeting later? I can’t imagine you would say no to a walk with me.”

It’s been days of this. This Summit cannot end soon enough. Finally, she speaks to him directly.

“That is not my name nor my title, and that is not how you will address me. You are bold to presume you know what I would or would not agree to, and that boldness will bring you none of my graces.”

“Oh, to hear your sweet voice directed my way at long last, and with that fiery Dominion spark I’ve heard so much about. You had been so cold towards me for so long I wasn’t even sure you had any of The Dragon Flame in you. Tell me, does that attitude come from The Flame, or is it just your own sense of self importance that ignites a fire in you?”

She sees red. She exhales smoke and embers through her nostrils, her glare sharpens. She turns to leave.

“You forget yourself, homunculus.”

A low blow.

He smirks. She gets to the doors.

“Give it time, I like it when they’re feisty,” she hears him murmur.

She slams the doors behind her.

[totally-not-an-awkward-okapi]

Got tagged by @measlyfurball13 so time to talk about my relationship to Fandom

Tagging… hell I don’t know. Look if you see this just count that as a tag.

Your Name: NotOkapi or Okapi usually, theoretically you could also use Pidgeon (spelled normally or Like That) but I don’t think anyone’s ever acknowledged that’s the title at the top of my page.

Your Current Fandom(s): As you can see I am currently in Spider-Man hell. I’m supposed to be able to leave Spider-Man hell at the end of the month but in all likelihood Spider-man posting will continue into the foreseeable future.

How did you first get into fandom?: 7th grade I met a kid at fencing camp who was also into Wings of Fire and mentioned that he was active on the Fandom site for Wings of Fire fan content. Fun fact, totally-not-an-awkward-okapi is just the latest variation of my personal naming scheme. It was Not A Robot when I made a disqus account to comment on my favorite webcomics, not realizing that the locks my school placed on internet usage made it unusable. When I joined Fandom my name was Definitely Not Darkstalker since he was the main villain of the series at the time and therefore about as villainous as online bots.

How long have you been engaging in fandom spaces?: 7th grade, unless you count the few times my disqus comments slipped through school security. Or actually I made two question submissions to @tape-hiss as I first read White Noise anonymously. Have fun guessing!

How often do you read fanfics?: Really depends on my fixation! Sometime I go a couple months without reading any, sometimes I read every fic in a characters tag (that isn’t smut, I’m so ace that it just doesn’t appeal to me) in a day. It’s all variable.

Top three characters from your current fandom: I mean, other than Spidey character supreme Will o’ the Wisp? Both Butcherbird and Sandman continue to live in my head rent free. Pretty consistently when my brain is too excited about the next days design to sleep I start putting one of those three in Scenarios (TM).

Have you ever written fic for a fandom?: Sometimes! Occasionally I can’t tell something through art and need to write it out instead. Most of my fics sit for personal reading only in my docs, but I do have a AO3 account for when it needs to be unleashed upon the world. Basically all of my ongoing fics are “I’m going to come back to them someday but right now my brain will not function” though, except for Beneath the Quaking Tree who I’m not finishing out of spite because my Metal Gear Solid emulator broke so there will be no process until I fix or replace it.

Have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? Sure have! Most of the #my art tag on this blog is fanart.

Share a personal headcanon you feel very strongly about: All my Spidey posting for the month has been AU work, so it’s all kinda headcannon in that way? I guess the ones I feel strongest about are how Butcherbird and Sandman’s brains work. Butcherbird is essentially an unfinished recreation of the Winter Soldier’s programming, which causes odd stops and stutters when he thinks. A little bit of a WIP from my files to try and explain:

They wake up cold. They always seem to wake up cold. Frankly, they don’t remember not waking up cold (they try not to puzzle at that last one). Cold possibly isn’t the right word. Cold implies “chilly” not “I’m pretty sure some of my internal fluids are still frozen.”

The Vulture pushes to the surface, and they let it pass. The Vulture eliminates pain. Good. There is a short burst of acute pain as the body starts shifting, before the body finally gives up on sending pain signals.

Then the Vulture freezes too. Holding pattern. Awaiting orders.

No one is there. Someone should be there. They’ve never woken up alone. Waking up usually means training. Programming. Pain. There’s no one there.

It should be a relief. It is worse. The Vulture paces. It was not meant to go long without orders.

They have contingencies. There’s still space for many more, but digging around it finds an applicable scenario.

They can be taken out of cryo manually, either through the attached control panel or remotely. If certain emergency protocols are activated, it can also be put on a timed release. The latter two are the most likely.

There is a contingency for remote and time release. It has not been uploaded.

Sandman on the other hand is interesting because there’s both “How their brain has always worked” (she has dissociative identity disorder) and “How her consciousness transferring from electric signals in the brain to about one body’s worth of electromagnetic bonds effects their ability to think” (poorly)

And finally, what does fandom mean to you? Getting to hang out with people who’s brains are as messed up as mine is who don’t mind me ranting about consciousness or medieval fashion, and then getting them to ramble about their own ideas and just. Talking about something we both love! Sorry, Measley explained this so much better than I can.

[sysig]

June and July Vargas reactions

[tarotdeckshuffle]

Where did I go?

I know this is a comatose blog, but I feel like I owe my followers, especially some of my most loyal ones, an explanation of what happened.

It’s been what...3 years since I was truly active? Gosh that’s been a long time. Here’s an explanation of why I left, what’s happened since, and the future.

Why I Left

It sounds cliché, but life got ahead of me, mostly my work swallowed me whole. Why is that? 

Well, your Taro is a lawyer. I’m not your lawyer and I will not give you legal advice.

I started writing after I got my degree and started clerking. I was writing on slow days as a way to keep my writing sharp for the judge. After my state cut that position and buying our first house fell through, I moved on to working on immigration law.

But that boss was a prick. 

That’s when an amazing man contacted me through my old boss and said that he had an opportunity for me to help make the world a better place. 

Since then, I’ve been a public defender.

I love my job, I love my clients, but...it’s a tough job for various reasons I’m sure you can imagine. Needless to say, I typically become brain dead when I get home. This job has left me little left to explore my creative side and even less of me left to take care of myself. 

But I’m trying to work on that. 

I’m not leaving my work, just trying to do better. 

What’s Happened?

I’m still happily married to my soul mate :). We moved back by my parents and they’re so happy to have us.

We built our own house at the beginning of COVID. We started construction just before the lockdown and managed to cash in on low interest but had down payments paid just before prices increased. I’m thankful everyday we have our own home knowing full well if we had been even a month later, none of this would have been possible. 

I lost the last of my grandparents. This hurt so bad and left me in a very dark place for a long time. I had to wrestle with my love for them but also my fear. They were toxic, wicked people that I knew would turn on me at some point, even if they never got the chance to. 

After that, I sought professional help and we got another dog. She’s a 6 year old husky and I think she’s smarter than me lol. 

Thanks to that professional help, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Yes, I hyper fixated on writing all those years ago so no big surprise there. I also got hormonal help and, for the first time in my life, I feel real RAGE. Not frustration, but rage. I never truly felt anger before. It’s sometimes tough to control but it’s nice. As they say, the anger you feel at being treated poorly is that part of you who still loves yourself standing up for what’s right.

I think I’ve dramatically matured over the past few years. I’ve become more aggressive in defending others and myself, but I also try my best to stay kind and forgiving. It’s really not been a road I’ve traveled but a roller coaster I chose to get on but can’t control. 

I thought about this blog and all of my followers and friends all the time. I had so much guilt built up over not posting but fearing the expectation of having to resume posting if I came back. I just didn’t know if I could do it all. 

The Future

That is why I say this to you with every ounce of love in my heart: Screw any expectations you may have of me, lol. I don’t expect you have expectations, but I’m telling myself that even if you do, I don’t have to follow them. I’m aggressively giving myself permission.

I do have some stories in my drafts and in my head that I want to put out to the world. Someday, once all of my debts are paid and I can live comfortably, I want to get back to writing full time. My dream is to put my own book out there for the world. 

For now, I think I’m going to put stories out into the world as I’m able. I don’t know how often it will be, perhaps once a year? Perhaps once a week? I also don’t know what the subject or fandom will be. This time, I’m discovering the path as I go with no destination in mind. 

I am here, I look at all of my notifications, and I miss all of you. I hope you find pleasure in my writing.

In closing, I love you all and hope you can find peace in all I can give you. 

[darkhymns-fic]

Stardust Rain

Everybody had a bit of magic in them... but when she and Lloyd were together, they made stars.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairing: Lloyd Irving/Colette Brunel, Kratos Aurion, Genis Sage, Noishe Rating: G Word Count: 9329 Mirror Link: AO3 Notes: This is a secret santa fic for @youlighttheskyfanfiction where I attempt writing colloyd in a magical realism setting! This is inspired heavily from her art pieces for colloydweek which I adore. Thanks so much for being a part of this exchange!

--

In the small town of Iselia, the sky had suddenly started to pour, the clouds so thick that it blocked both the stars and the lone, white tower in the distance.

Colette had only been six when she and Lloyd had wandered out to the middle of town together, the raindrops so heavy that she could hear them plunk and shake the umbrellas they both carried in their hands. A sheet of rain blew against her face, pricking her cheeks, but making her laugh all the same. She wasn’t allowed outside during such weather, but seeing Lloyd standing underneath the sky with a smile, his frog-styled umbrella fashioned by his father in hand, made her rush to leave her porch and go, nearly forgetting to put on her rainboots.

She saw neighbors scurry to their homes, leaving behind precious items; a gardening spade upturned in the wet dirt, books half-open on benches, a misplaced sunhat on the ground. Quietly, almost shyly, all the left-behind items floated through the air, buffeted by the wind and rain. They followed along the owners who never turned their heads back but left their doors partly open for a damp hat to push against, or a book to softly flutter through. In Iselia, like in many places, it was rare for one to lose their belongings, at least for very long.

She was sure that, even if she had gone out to Lloyd in bare feet, her rainboots would have appeared by her side, politely asking her to keep warm and stay dry.

“Colette!” Lloyd called out to her. He was waving, his umbrella spraying stray water droplets all around like a fish moving upstream. He looked so excited, and she wondered if maybe he just really liked the rain…

She rushed and, of course, stumbled, her own umbrella slipping out of her fingers. The doggy-styled ears of her umbrella (also fashioned by Lloyd’s father as a gift to her) seemed to flap in a panic before it fell to the ground, cushioned by the wet mud and grass. It was one of her favorite things that she owned, and it always made sure to follow her around on such wet, cold days. But as she fell, it didn’t rush to her this time, instead remaining on its side, drenched in the rain.

She caught onto Lloyd’s hands, how they reached out to her. That was when she saw the stars.

“Whoa… I didn’t know you could do this yet!” Lloyd looked down at where their palms touched. It was as if they had gathered a string of brightly colored star lights in their hands, like the ones she would have in her room, but without the string to wind it all together. The shine cast a mixture of violet and pink, falling over their arms, coloring their cheeks still damp with rain.

Colette heard the rapid patter of raindrops against Lloyd’s umbrella, her eyes fixated on the stars coming to life from their fingers. “But… aren’t you doing this too?”

The boy paused, considered. “I am?” A star drifted from its pile, only to rise past their faces, to rise past the lampposts whose lights were quenched by the rain barreling down, and then further up into the sky. More stars followed, their shine so bright that it made imprints into the dark clouds above.

Colette let her fingers linger against Lloyd’s, long after the last star left them, to flicker and dazzle, to hover before it too rushed off to fly away high into the rainy skies. “There’s so many,” she whispered, so sad to see them go.

Lloyd watched them too, quiet for a moment before he looked back to her. A blink, and then he clumsily brought his umbrella to be over her head. The familiar plunk of the raindrops came back, echoing around her ears.

“Where’s your umbrella? You’re gonna get soaked!”

Oh. It had been so easy to forget, but the memory of those stars stayed with her. Her umbrella shifted on the ground, its doggy ears now stained with mud, but it saw no need to go to her when she was already being taken care of by another.

“Um, Lloyd,” she started to ask. She watched, fascinated as the front strands of his hair fell over his forehead, how his usual spikes pressed down against his ears. “Can I have your hand again?”

She just wanted to know something. And, going by his grin, maybe Lloyd did too.

“Okay,” he said, then gripped her hand in his own, palms still wet. But between their palms, the familiar violet-pink light glowed. The stars spilled out of their hands to float around their heads, to rush past the raindrops into the skies again. The feel of them tickled her, making her giggle.

It was like a rain of stardust. In its light, she saw how Lloyd’s eyes were just as bright. How in his gaze, she saw each star captured for a moment before drifting away. “I didn’t know magic could be all warm! Is it like this for you all the time?”

And Colette had to think about it then, keeping their hands clasped, but just releasing enough so that the stars continued to spill. Magic felt like many things, but how could she say that the feeling of these stars were like Lloyd waving to her in the rain?

In Sylvarant, having magic was natural, expected even. Yet Lloyd was one of the few that didn’t seem to have any magic at all.

And yet, with Colette, they had made stars together.

She had never felt magic stronger than that.

--

It was on a Wednesday afternoon when a giant glowing bird, trailing dust in its path, was spotted in the skies above Palmacosta.

Lloyd had been the one to see it first, rushing into the café with excitement. Colette was seated at one of the tables, where too many books were laid out in front of her like towers, or a castle wall that she was trapped behind.

“Hey, Colette! There’s this huge bird just out- Oh, are you busy?”

Colette peered over the books, trying to find him, but more stacked themselves, hiding her face away. “…Um, no. Just… need a little help?”

The little café was usually one of Colette’s favorite spots. But, she could tell how her family must have passed along the message to the books that lived in that same café. Those with dizzying titles of philosophy and theory, of conjuration, of pilgrimages and angelic legends that must surely be thousands of years old, all rushed up to her the moment she sat down, just for a small study session…

Lloyd rushed to tear down the walls of books, poking his face in-between. “You just gotta tell them no sometimes.” His smile was like a life raft in a sea of hardcover spines and pages. “Hurry, you’ll miss it!”

Sticking out her tongue in half-nervousness, she stood up. Already she could see the books flutter, one opening its pages, as if it could keep her here this way. “It’s hard to do that when they don’t really say anything back.”

“That should make it easier!” Lloyd pushed another floating book away, gesturing her to follow. The sunlight streamed through the window, gliding across his messy hair.

Lloyd had grown since that rainy day in Iselia. There were no more cute froggy umbrellas or red rainboots, but his red jacket let her see him from miles ahead, and his arms could lift her in the air whenever she asked. She had to move to Palmacosta once old enough, taking her classes at the university, reading through the scriptures, the language leaping out of the page to get her attention. One couldn’t forget about angels when storms of petals rushed across the seas, or when a second moon would sometimes appear in the sky, pulling even more at the tides.

Or when a shining bird would fly so high up, cutting through the clouds.

Lloyd and Colette rushed past the pier and its fruit market, past the stone bridge where lilies sprouted through the cracks, despite no fresh water nearby. He pointed excitedly up at the bird, its feathers burning like flame. From the sparkling dust, a rainbow was made. It hadn’t rained in Palmacosta for two weeks.

“See? Look how big it is!” Lloyd shaded his eyes with both hands, already losing the bird as it slipped into another cloud.

“Oh, you mean Aska?” Colette followed his gaze. The sea breeze brushed against her neck in whispers. “He flies over here sometimes.”

A startled look passed over Lloyd’s face. “You’ve seen it already?” He then scratched at his cheek, a nervous tic that she remembered noting when they had been in elementary together. “And here I thought I was showing you something new…”

People walked past them, some on their way to Mass, the church ringing its bells. None raised their heads to the glowing bird in the sky, or spared a look to the flowers growing in the stone. But when she was with Lloyd, Colette always felt something magical in just the way the waves would crash into the harbor in the distance.

“I like familiar things though.” Maybe she was being greedy, but she already reached out to grab his hands. The beat of the bird’s wings created the strong gust of wind that was slowly rolling over the town. It made the bell ring faster, made the people walk faster, pulled on by the repeating melody.

His hands tightened over hers, and she felt the tell-tale tingle across her skin. Like a soft breath in her ear, or the flickering of a candle. “You like these more?” he asked, but there was only happiness in his voice, unbridled and pure.

The stars spilled out between their fingers, like so much treasure. She grinned back. “Because I can only make them with you.”

The boy is no one special, Colette once heard the neighbors say, carried on by the breeze. Mundane child who gawked at every small thing that shone, who didn’t understand why the sky would open up so wide to reveal a shining tower. He chuckled at the feeling of the stars they shared, how some of them fell to the stone floor like clattering chimes.

A few heads turned their way – but only to their laughter, like children who found such fascinating patterns in the sandcastles they made.

“Let’s toss them up!” Lloyd shouted with glee. Already Colette felt the pull of it, his excitement making her heart leap and bounce against her chest. They raised their clasped hands, palms opening, face up. And the stars rushed out like a stream of lights, imprinting themselves into the skies, and shining on as if they had always been there.

“Maybe Aska will see these when he comes by again,” Colette said. Her and Lloyd craned their heads up, as they always did when they made their very own stars together.

“Oh, right…” The bells had finally stopped, and they were left alone on the stone streets. “Think he’ll know what constellations we made?”

“I hope so!” And she laughed, trying her best not to make an overflow of more.

It was just so addicting, this feeling.

--

The first time someone had found their stars had been on Colette’s front lawn. Phaidra had seen it one morning, how the bright color clashed with the vegetable garden her and Frank had been tending. She clucked her tongue, and gently reminded Colette to not make such a mess, for it was unbecoming.

So ever since then, they had made their stars in hidden places; underneath the school desks where they could reach out their hands to each other, hiding away the light with their legs, or just outside of the town’s gates, using Noishe’s great body to cover the shine and letting him take a lick at one star out of curiosity.

They left patterns of stars in the trees where Lloyd had once climbed up on a dare, and Colette dared herself to follow. They left constellations in the riverbed, watching them shift and move with the currents before dissolving into motes of light that the fish would try to eat.

And sometimes, they would let them float to the sky. But Colette would feel a sadness then, as she watched the stars drift away, so out of reach.

“They never come back when we let them fly,” she had once told Lloyd. She was twelve years old then, both seated by a small lake just past one of their favorite clearings. She watched as Lloyd whittled something with his hands, seeing how the shape changed with each gentle scrape of his knife.

“But we can still see them, at least.” He pointed up at the sky to show her, and indeed, there they were. Small pinpricks of violet and pink, different from the other stars. “Those are ours and no one else’s.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. Maybe she was just selfish. “And we can always make more.”

“Still though… it would be cool to go up there. Can we grow wings?” He asked that so sincerely, all as he continued to whittle at the small block of wood.

Colette didn’t know. For such things, one just couldn’t guess at. “I’d be happy if we could,” she told him.

Lloyd grinned, and just then she saw what he had been making. It was a small star, a bit uneven in its points, and the middle carved to resemble a jewel embedded within it. He blew on it to dust away the last remaining wood shavings, and they fluttered to the lake as placid and normal as they could be. He must have learned it from his dad, the man who could make his figures dance and his jewelry fly through the air, shining through the dusk.

“Here,” he said as he gave the star to her. “Maybe this one won’t fly away, so you can keep it with you.”

Lloyd’s creations were different. They didn’t move or glow, but she was drawn to them so much more.

From then on, she kept that star in the pocket of her dress, a small chain affixed to it. If it ever fell, she knew she would lose it forever, so she held it close always.

--

The tower that had appeared out of nothing, out of wisps of clouds and dregs of sunlight, did so every hundred years, or so it was said. Such legends were stated in the scriptures, even when such scriptures were contradictory, speaking about angels that sent crystals hurtling towards the earth whenever they desired, or when angels held one’s soul, giving it meaning.

It was expected of Colette to go to the tower one day, as many of her family members had done. The last had been her great aunt, never to come back. It was simply tradition.

Only Lloyd questioned that tradition.

“Won’t you miss home?” he asked her. He visited her lodgings she had at the church, ducking his head under a low doorframe, her room just barely enough to fit her dresser, her bed, and herself, with a small wall sconce on the left to give light. Lloyd tried his best to not take up too much space, but could only do so much, and simply sat on the floor with legs crossed. She knew she should have at least gotten a chair…

“Yeah, of course I will,” she admitted. It felt strange to admit it so plainly, but only Lloyd was able to pull such a thing from her, and in the gentlest of questions he had ever asked. She sat on the bed, fiddling with her sleeves. From her angle above, Lloyd almost looked small as he raised his head to her.  “But it’s why I’ve been studying so much.”

“Sounds like they’re just studying you,” Lloyd said with a grumble, then clarified. “The books, I mean! They never let up. Also, sometimes they hurt because they’re so heavy.”

She remembered how one book knocked itself against Lloyd’s head as they passed by that café again, a massive textbook, its pages underlined with a sharp pen. She had to shoo the book away, but felt content to rub a hand through Lloyd’s hair to soothe the hurt.

“Mm, it’s okay,” she told him. “It’s just what I have to do.”

The window in her room was small, barely large enough for one’s head to poke through. But it unlatched, pushed open by the wind, showcasing the white tower more clearly than through the warped glass.

She ignored it as best as she could, instead looking back to Lloyd where everything seemed brighter. “I’m happy you came all this way out to visit! It must have been a long trip. Did you see Genis yet? Oh, and, sorry my room isn’t much though…”

“I told you I would!” he said with a grin. “I saw Genis yesterday, but I think likes talking to books more than me.” Lloyd huddled his knees close to his chin, still trying to fit in her room. “And I don’t mind sleeping on the floor.”

There were inns at Palmacosta, but when Lloyd had appeared one night, she couldn’t deny him staying. She had tried fixing up the floors with spare carpets and blankets, like when they would build small forts out on the grass, made of couch cushions and bedsheets, asking such items to stay still. She hadn’t thought of such a memory until she had seen his face again, all grown.

“Also…” Lloyd went on, his voice a little quieter. “It’s just, you know, it hasn’t been the same without you, so why wouldn’t I visit?”

There was a magic in his smile that she couldn’t let go of. Even as the window latch kept squeaking from the wind, and how tempted she was to just shut it away – then Lloyd straightened his back so suddenly.

“Wait! I’ve been wanting to show you what I made, I completely forgot.” He reached into his jacket as he spoke. “I’ve started working with metal so I got you a-” he stopped, then searched again. His gaze shifted to look at the dresser, then underneath the bed, then out that small window that wouldn’t stop squeaking and showing them the tower, so far off yet so near.

“Lloyd?” she questioned. “If you’re looking for something, I can help.” With that, she reached for the dresser with one arm, lifting it easily just at shoulder-height. A few dust bunnies rolled away when she took away the shadows.

He started with wide eyes, a flush on his cheeks. “W-whoa, you still can…I mean, that’s okay! It’s not here anyway…” He sighed. “I messed up.”

“Oh?” Colette quickly dropped the dresser to the floor, a miracle it stayed intact. But the ability to carry heavy things always came and went, usually when she didn’t think about it.

“Argh, I just… I must have dropped it on the way…” He hung his head. “I made this necklace after a long time of dad teaching me. And I wanted to show you! But I know it’s not coming back to me anytime soon.”

The magic did not call to him. The precious items, the treasures he made, did not attach themselves to his being, pulled along by invisible strings.

Colette thought back to that first gift of his, remembering the wooden star that she now kept in a drawer in her old bedroom, worried of the same thing.

“We could always find it together,” she said. Words left her without intention, but her mouth moved as if she was in a dream.

“Huh? You want to?”

“Well… I need to go on a pilgrimage soon anyway. But we can retrace your steps along the way?” Eager, she shuffled from the bed to sit on the floor with Lloyd. The hardwood floors creaked, and she could only wonder how Lloyd had been okay staying down here, with the dust bunnies that liked to roam. “Like when we went to find your shoe when you lost it at the river.”

“But that was way different!” Lloyd huddled closer, and maybe it was the excuse of the dresser at his back, or the narrow walls, but she liked being able to see the sunlight’s reflection off his eyes when she was this near. “It’ll take us forever.”

“Then we can take forever.” She reached for his hand again, so much bigger now against her own. She could slip her hand in his, slip herself within, and just disappear. “It doesn’t matter when I go to the tower. Only that I do.”

It was the only thing that that felt heavy on her tongue, that weighed her down like she was adrift at sea. Lloyd’s pause told her that he knew it too, but when he smiled again, gripping her hand back, she could focus on something better. “Yeah. We can travel the world together!”

The stars burst to life between their hands, more precious than gold coins or jewels. And as they sat closer, the stars floated from their palms, though they bumped against the walls or stuck themselves into the ceilings. Colette watched one try to leave through the window, hitting the glass in confusion instead.

Lloyd flinched as a star landed on his head with a small clink. “Uh…I guess we shouldn’t do this inside. Oops.”

But in the glow of their stars, she couldn’t think of anything better.

--

When she still lived in Iselia, Lloyd would sometimes gather what stars they had made into little jars. They were like fireflies, softly glowing up a room, while deepening the shadows. “But we can keep these as long as we want,” he explained, unlike the fireflies that must eventually be set free to fly again.

She had wanted to keep their jars of stars forever, to hold it close in bed, to remember the feel of Lloyd’s hands against hers. But sometimes the stars would get so dim, barely lighting up her room at all.

She had to let the stars float away too, unscrewing the lid and watch them vanish into the sky. Once, she thought she saw in the distance more stars rise into the air, leaving the earth to join in with hers.

It was only natural to want to fly.

--

There was magic in the way Lloyd created things.

Ever since they were children, he’d draw on a piece of paper with faded crayons and paint, or he’d carve a shape into a small block of wood, trying so carefully not to cut his fingers. The drawings wouldn’t shine when he was done with them, and the figures he carved wouldn’t move, but they had been made by him, and for Colette that was more than enough.

She caught a peek at one of his drawings, a corner of it peeking out from his satchel before he moved it, enclosing it in a small sketchbook she remembered he’d carry around. Many, many times had he dropped the sketchbook into a puddle, or left it at school. Lloyd always had to retrieve it himself, but luckily, the pages inside were always clean and undamaged.

“Did you draw anything new?” she asked him, just as they left Palmacosta, making Lloyd jump. She couldn't help but giggle from his cute display of embarrassment.

“Er, nothing much. I was trying to draw Noishe from memory… but I made him look more like a horse.” The wind blew, pulling at his hair, like hands running through it. They pulled at the white ribbons from his collar, their ends reaching out to tickle at her cheek. “I can make it better later.”

She wanted to tell him how she hadn't seen a drawing of his in such a long time, but the breeze kept pushing them along, so she followed Lloyd out onto the roads, marking the detours from her pilgrimage. She had promised Lloyd that they would find what he made, even if it took years, even if it took until their bodies creaked with old age.

"It's really okay that we can just travel wherever?" he asked her, but only one last time. Like when they were children, she kept up her pace with his steps, knowing that if a sudden dip in the grass appeared, that he would catch her as easily as a downed bird.

"It's okay," she said, and finalized her answer by clasping his hand.

Merchants traveling to Palmacosta, as well as those who passed by on their own pilgrimage, would soon find the imprints of different stars up in the sky, their light in such stark contrast to the moon.

--

Colette remembered seeing Aska once, just a few days after she and Lloyd first made stars together. She had sat up in bed, watching him fly through the air, cutting through the stream of their own stardust. He headed for a tower in the distance, but not the tower that was white and never-ending, which stretched out into the heavens. Even one with wings hadn't wanted to go to such a place.

She didn't want to go either. But one day, she would have to.

--

There were days, as they made stops at small villages in the hills, or hiked up a mountain top, that Noishe would appear, straight out of a bush as if he had always been there.

"Why don't you just stay?!" Lloyd had complained. "You're such a weird dog." But the giant green animal, with ears that could have flapped like wings if he tried, only whined, sniffing around for any spare treats Lloyd had in his pocket. Of which there was always at least one or two.

Colette had always loved the dog, of which magic thrived and hummed underneath his fur. It was no surprise that he could just appear at their side, even when Lloyd always wondered why.

"It's why his fur is green," she told him later as they both rode Noishe down a slope. There was a city far to the north called Meltokio, and while Lloyd hadn't gone to it, he admitted he passed by it on his way to visit Colette. "He travels through the grass and leaves. He must feel really safe to be in them!"

"But I haven't seen him do that!" Lloyd pouted. Already she could tell that he wanted Noishe to do what she claimed. How much faster they would get to places! How much faster he could have gotten to see Colette if Noishe had did that for him!

"Hehe. He's probably shy." She patted Noishe's fur in comfort, hearing him whine as an answer. "Maybe he did it for you when you were little."

"I think I'd remember that...or...did he?" Lloyd eyed Noishe, gripping his fur like the heft of a saddle. "Is that how I sometimes got to school so fast?"

Not a whine this time, but a bark as Noishe loped across the fields, his paw pads crunching the grass beneath.

He would most likely leave the next day, scared by the crackling of a campfire or a distant wolf's howl. And then, out of the glade, he would show up again, tongue lolling from his mouth, whining for pets. 

The only time she could remember where Noishe wasn't frightened by something new was in the stars her and Lloyd made. He'd lick a star, or sniff it, and even let Colette sprinkle a few in his fur when she was young. Did his magic find a connection with their own?

Later, they visited a small fishing port called Izoold, where the washtubs swayed in the waters, inviting Lloyd and Colette to jump in. A particular hard splash of the sea against the boardwalk made Noishe yelp - and then he dove into some rosebushes, only to vanish once again.

Lloyd groaned. "I wanted him to ride the tub with us!" 

Colette couldn't help but think, Maybe we should have shown him our stars as a treat. 

That was something she could think of for next time.

--

It was the priests that had told her, once the tower appeared in the sky, that she would need to go there. And that she would never come back.

Those of her bloodline had gone to the tower, because it was expected. Her ancestor whose statue was placed in her church, her great aunt that her grandmother would sometimes talk about, her gaze drawn to the window; these are who she needed to follow.

The stars she and Lloyd made decorated the skies, in the space away from the tower. And always, she would try to look there instead. And always, she would ask Lloyd to make some more with her.

Or were the stars too much? Were they only a useless thing for them to play with? It was a question that haunted her as the years passed, and the details of that tower became more clear.

Was there any meaning in these stars?

--

One day on their journey, Colette had suddenly lost her voice.

It had happened in an evening, after they had shared food with a traveling caravan with family in tow. She remembered seeing the shape of the tower in the smoke of their campfire, as the taste of sweet potatoes, cooked until their insides steamed, burst in her mouth. Lloyd had eaten twice his usual share, and Colette had slept for a full night afterwards. She had been happy, but still that tower loomed in the distance.

She noticed she lost her voice when she couldn’t say goodbye to the caravan as she waved to them. Lloyd had looked to her, and she had turned away. The taste of the food from yesterday faded away, and she could hear the sounds of the ocean despite them being so far inland.

“Colette?” Lloyd called to her, reaching out a hand. She hesitated, but grasped it, hoping that something familiar would happen.

She couldn’t feel the warmth, and no stars came to life between their hands.

Lloyd’s confusion was so apparent, and she hated the pain she caused. So she took his hand in both of her own, and traced letters over his palms. Letters that stayed invisible, that wouldn’t come to life. They would have to be read on Lloyd’s own.

“I’m…sorry?” Lloyd said out loud, eyebrows furrowed as he gazed downward. “But, I don’t understand.”

Colette felt her chest constrict. Maybe they had made too many stars, or had looked away from the tower too often and this was her punishment. Or I put off the pilgrimage for too long. How could she explain it to Lloyd?

“…It’s… probably temporary,” Lloyd filled in the silence, gripping her hand back, even when nothing would appear. “Yeah, like when you can lift heavy stuff! It’ll come and go, I bet.” His optimism was shining, even if at the edge, there was a shadow. “But in the meantime, just write to me and I’ll read what you have to say.”

She wanted to believe what she said, so she nodded, then took his hand again. We still need to find what you lost, she wrote.

Still, she wouldn’t look at the tower.

--

Genis had been a little jealous of Lloyd and Colette’s stars.

“I’m the one that studies magic more than you two,” he had grumbled, just a year or so before he would move to Palmacosta to continue studying, and then Colette not long behind. “I especially study more than Lloyd!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lloyd had countered back, and as if to show off, he took Colette’s hand, showing it palm up to the bed of stars that appeared. “Me and Colette just make a good team!”

It had been sunset then, and Colette remembered the white of Genis’ hair shining. She didn’t question that he really could make stars, probably brighter and bigger than what she could. But with Lloyd, it had just felt special.

“We can always give you some of ours,” she said, taking one star and handing it to Genis.

The boy raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t say I wanted them! I’m just wondering how you guys even make them.”

That was a good question. Colette tilted her head in thought. “Well, I like to think about puppies when we make the stars. Usually about petting them!”

“Really?” Lloyd asked. “I just think about food! Well…mostly.” But he didn’t expand on that, clearing his throat a bit. “Genis, just start thinking about food and you’ll make a bunch!”

“Huh? I’m not hungry all the time like you!” Genis grumbled, then said. “I mean, at least thinking of dogs make more sense.”

Still, Colette could tell Genis wasn’t really that annoyed, because he also couldn’t help but follow the stars to the sky, and smile when he did so.

He was just happy for them, wasn’t he?

--

Despite everything, they continued their journey. Colette had made a promise and she wanted to keep it. Even if her voice was gone, even if food never made it past her lips, and her eyes never shut for long when all she wanted to do was sleep.

They no longer made stars, but sometimes, feathers would fall at her feet as she walked. They’d drift from her back, and then burst into motes of light once they touched the ground. She didn’t know what it meant, if magic had left her or taken on something else entirely. But the feathers didn’t give her the same joy or warmth as those stars.

They had passed by Meltokio when they crossed the border into Tethe’alla, even going through its high city gates to examine the stalls, the stores, and the castle up high that would shimmer in the heat. They couldn’t afford a room at the inn, so they made camp again in the meadows at the foot of a mountain, half-expecting Noishe to return his weeks and weeks of absence. They had walked carefully down the roads, but they couldn’t find Lloyd’s creation, even as they upturned rocks and looked into every tree’s burrow.

“Hey, Colette…” Lloyd asked her as he stoked the fire, all while Colette cut up potatoes for their stew. Although, she couldn’t eat such things anymore, even as Lloyd tried to feed her, even as he tried to find the fruits she used to like at a nearby market. But the taste of everything was gone. “Did your belongings sometimes… run away from you?”

She raised her head at the concept. She had never thought of something like that before. But Lloyd had always been different. She could only give what she knew, and so shook her head gently.

Lloyd sighed. He propped his cheek against his hand, watching the flames flick and dance with the stick he used. “I bet it jumped right out of my pocket, and I was too dumb to notice.”

Colette shuffled near him, dumping the cut potatoes into the metal pot over the fire. After wiping her hands on a washcloth, she took his own, writing out, It’s probably just clumsy like me.

Lloyd blinked, then a small laugh left his throat, a sound that she could tell was enough to brush away the melancholy thoughts he would have had, or at least most of them. “I guess I did make it for you.”

The fire crackled, and the stew inside the pot bubbled. She could hear the growling in Lloyd’s stomach, making him flinch. “Agh, I should eat. Do you wanna try a bite? I think if you just eat something…”

Colette looked down, watching the firelight dance over their palms, but that was all. Maybe next time I’ll feel hungry.

The feathers drifted down her back, making a bed of themselves around her knees before vanishing. The feeling they left behind was hollow, fleeting. Lloyd held her hand so tight.

“You don’t have to lie to me, you know,” he told her, his voice a bit pained.

She could only smile, even if it was sad. She wanted to tell him more, but her fingers felt too stiff.

--

When she left Iselia, missing Lloyd terribly, and slept in Palmacosta for the first time, she dreamt about drowning at sea.

That when she spoke, no words left her.

That when she reached out her hands, she couldn’t find the surface.

When she woke up, she shivered, tears rolling down her cheeks. She looked up, and saw the trail of stardust in the distance, in Iselia’s direction.

And it comforted her.

--

After their search through Tethe’alla proved fruitless, they headed further back into Sylvaranti lands, in places where the trees grew much taller, as big as Meltokio’s stone structures. Sometimes a path took them to another village not shown on any maps, or a strange island off in the distance that would soon vanish once they turned their heads away for a moment. In the world, everything could shift and change in a moment, except for the white tower, still rising high, refusing to be forgotten.

Even as Colette’s voice stayed muted for months, and she began to forget the taste of oranges freshly peeled, they continued their wanderings. They had gone off the pilgrimage route long ago, skipping past the Asgard Ruins when it was too dark, and the Tower of Mana where it was said the books inside were so numerous. Such places were steps in a pilgrimage, and if she didn’t complete such steps yet, then she and Lloyd could travel longer, could keep wandering for as long as they liked.

Even if such wanderings punished her, even if it took away their stars.

Past mountains that vanished in the dusk and streams that would sing, they found Luin, the city built over a lake, where wooden bridges connected the houses to one another.

“I definitely didn’t drop it here,” Lloyd told her, but not as a protest. It was too fun to visit new places, and the dogs that lived in town huddled around Colette with excited yips, already making the trip worthwhile as she tried to pet each other and think up a name for each one of them in her heart.

The town had a great fountain in the middle, and once Lloyd could recover Colette from the waves of doggies, they walked across the wooden boards. I heard the statues at the fountain sometimes come to life in here, Colette wrote in his palm, learning now to do it faster, more efficiently, even as they walked together. It’s supposed to bring good luck if we see them.

Lloyd’s face brightened at the fact, and then followed with, “What if we put our stars in the fountain?” He could barely keep still. “Like, we can make a wish with them! It’ll probably come true if we use those instead of coins! We can use it to get your voice back, and your hunger and-”

His excitement was infectious, brightening Colette’s world. Until she remembered. Until he remembered too, making him stop in mid-sentence.

“Oh…I guess we can’t right now,” Lloyd said softly. “But, I still have some gald on me. We can still use those! I bet they’ll work the same.” Like sunshine after the rain, he smiled, taking her hand. If she had her voice, she would giggle at the idea, but she could still run with him, their boots making the bridges creak.

Once at the fountain, there were no moving statues dancing in the rushing water – but a man was there. Wrapped in a dark cloak, he was seated at a wooden bench right in front of the structure, polishing his sword, head bowed.

At the sight of him, she could feel Lloyd’s excitement deflate like a balloon. “That guy is totally blocking the way…”

It wasn’t like they couldn’t see the fountain at all, with its polished marble, and its fashioned dolphins spouting water towards the middle. She wrote in his hand, We can still make our wish, still uplifted at the idea. The coins may not dance in the water like their stars, nor would it glow, but the meaning of doing so would still be the same.

“…I guess so,” Lloyd mumbled. “But it feels awkward with just one guy here.”

She wrote once more, Maybe he just hasn’t noticed us?

Yet as they got closer, the man raised his eyes, halted the motion of his hand. The whetstone stayed pressed against his blade.

“You’re looking for something?”

Ah, perhaps now it was truly awkward.

Lloyd raised an eyebrow, and she wondered if maybe he knew this man from somewhere. But it seemed that Lloyd himself was trying to figure that out as well. “Uh, we just wanted to see the fountain…”

“Your name,” the man then stated. Not a question, yet not quite a command.

The words threw Lloyd off, so much that he couldn’t respond in time. “Huh? Who are you to just ask for that?”

“My apologies. Perhaps you are the wrong person to ask.” And so the man turned to Colette instead, his gaze steady, but not unkind. She stared at him, watching how the sun colored his hair in shades that she found so familiar. “May I ask for yours?”

Colette would have squeaked if she had her voice, but instead she blinked, pointing at herself. Me? Lloyd reached for her hand in warning, already feeling him tense. But there was something she felt from this stranger, of a magic that she sometimes got from Noishe. And from…

“Is it Colette?”

Another blink, followed by a nod. The rushing of the fountain water echoed around her.

“I see. So then this would belong to you.” He let go of his whetstone, reaching into his cloak to pull out something that glowed. The reflection of the sun when its light shone against a jewel, bound by red threads, held in place by gold that curved inward, like a heart.

Lloyd immediately yelled at the sight of it. “What the?! That’s mine!”

The man turned to Lloyd with the same gaze. “Your name is also Colette?”

“What, no! It’s Lloyd! And that’s not important!” He pointed at the necklace the man continued to hold between his fingers. “I made that for Colette! How’d you even get your hands on it?”

The man shut his eyes. “I found it. Or, perhaps it found me. It looked like it was searching for something.” He held the necklace further out to Colette. “And then it told me your name.”

It…it did? Her hand was out without her intention, allowing the man to deposit the necklace in her palm.

“It was searching for the one it was made for, I assume.” The eyes flickered back to Lloyd. “You should be more careful to not lose something so precious.”

Lloyd’s face was red; in anger or embarrassment, it was hard to tell which. He crossed his arms, pointedly turning his head away. “That’s why I was looking for it. Jerk.”

Colette cradled the necklace in her palms, fascinated at the make of it, at the jewel inlaid in gold, at the red threads that crossed around it. It feels like the stars.

Then she realized. She could feel the warmth from this necklace. She could feel.

The man stood up from his bench, sheathing his sword. “If you’d like, the local inn can accommodate you. I know the owners, so it would be no trouble.”

Lloyd narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “What the… Who are you? Why would you even do that for us?”

A pause, as if the man waited for something. Colette could not stop noting his hair, the shade now very familiar. “My name is Kratos.”

“I didn’t ask-”

“And I was sympathetic for the owner of this necklace. I felt they would one day come here, so I waited.”

Lloyd, from his expression, didn’t understand. But Colette was beginning to. Thank you, Mr. Kratos, she thought, wishing she could say it. But the man nodded as if he could hear her…

Kratos finally walked away, making her hope she would one day see him again. In contrast, Lloyd’s eyes followed him, but with cheeks slightly puffed out in aggravation. “What is this guy up to?"

Colette wanted to tell Lloyd that she thought Kratos was just being kind, but she was too distracted by the necklace she still held. She could feel the softness of the red threading, the texture of the metal used to give its unique shape. She held it up to Lloyd, asking in her heart, This was for me?

Suddenly, Lloyd’s anger washed away, replaced with flushed cheeks, with a shameful grin. “Um, yeah! I was gonna surprise you. It’s nothing special, I know, but I worked really hard on it and…”

She reached for his hands, as she often did, but with the necklace in tow. His palm brushed against the metal, the red threads falling over his thumb.

Faint, but she could feel something…or was it the necklace still? She didn’t understand, but something hopeful danced in her chest then.

“Ah… Did you want me to help you put it on?” Lloyd asked, his voice so shy. “Sorry, I know you didn’t ask, just…”

She nodded so fast, standing on her tiptoes, grinning wide.

Lloyd had gotten so good at reading her.

--

“I think someone used to take me to see the stars outside.”

Lloyd had told her this when they were in third grade, when they had started putting stars in their jars before they saw how dim their lights would be. Outside of the schoolhouse, she had been watching him loop the stars around with string, trying to tie it around the ends of their points. It had been difficult work, and sometimes the knot wouldn’t be tight enough so that a star would instead slip out and float around their heads playfully.

At these moments, Lloyd would sigh, but Colette would smile, reaching out to the stars to cup in her palms before sending it off again. “Who did?” she asked him.

“I don’t know.” Another attempt with the string, but the stars left again. “I think…it was when I was really little. They’d carry me up on their shoulders and show me the stars. But that’s all I can remember.”

A bright star landed on her nose like a butterfly, making her giggle. It also shot off into the air, to follow the rest. “So maybe that’s why these are here.”

“Hm?” Lloyd had now just tangled the strings around his hands, effectively tying himself up. “Uh, little help…?”

Colette smiled, reaching out to unwind the strings, fingers brushing against Lloyd’s. “That’s why you can make stars now. Because of that memory.”

“Well…it’s not just me though.” Hands finally free, he clasped her hands tight, until another bright glow appeared between their palms. “Then what about you? Did you like stars before too?”

She shrugged. “I’m not sure,” she told him, even though she felt guilty for half-lying.

Because when I looked at the sky, I wanted to be up there. Maybe stars don’t have to go where people want them to.

--

The Luin inn was simple, but bigger than the lodgings Colette had at Palmacosta. More than one bed to sleep in, and a large window that they could both look through. The necklace had been carefully tied around her neck, and the warmth she felt from the stars was now at her chest, a constant thing that she didn’t want to let go of.

The tower was still there in the distance. Lloyd noticed it as well.

“I guess since we finally found this… That means we should be going back on your journey, right?” His voice was quiet, a hand moving to rub the back of his neck. “We could start tomorrow if you…”

Another pause, tense and full. When he spoke again, she felt he was spilling over emotions that he had kept locked in for months.

“But, I don’t think you should,” he said, looking away. “Whatever’s happening to you, it’s because of that, isn’t it?” He gritted his teeth, looking to the side, to the wooden walls that had a bent nail or two. “I don’t really get it, but you never talked about it much before. And…it’s because you didn’t like it. You shouldn’t have to go to some tower, because people tell you too.”

Another pause, followed by a groan. “But now it sounds like I’m telling you to do something, and I don’t mean it that way! I just don’t know what’s going to happen if we go to that tower. If you go, and, just…”

She couldn’t let him keep doing this, so she faced him then, against the backdrop of the sky, where once the sun had vanished to be replaced with a world like their own. It had happened in her grandmother’s time, another sign of the angels, even if the meaning was lost. But there were still stars there, and she hoped they would never disappear. “Lloyd, I don’t want to go.”

She hadn’t even realized what she just did, not until Lloyd widened his eyes.

“C-Colette! You spoke! Does this mean-?”

But she couldn’t lose this. She stepped forward, moving through the cobwebs that had built in her throat, through the doubt and fear.

“I don’t want to go to a strange tower,” she said. “I want to stay with you!”

Lloyd could say nothing, as if now his voice had been stolen away. And what if that had happened, if whatever curse on her had shifted to him? But she would talk for both of them if she needed to, and feel for him, and taste for him, like he had for the months they had traveled with feathers falling to her feet.

“I know we’ve already been traveling together, but, I want to keep doing that. For a long time!” She started to reach out to him, seeking again. “If that’s-”

But his hands found hers first, holding tight, and the warmth was there, like what she felt against her chest.

The warmth was there.

“Do you really want that?” he asked her, and she had never heard him sound so hopeful before.

She nodded, then stepped closer to him, fingers entwined with his. She knew her grip was desperate, and she worried the stars would shatter from the strength of it, that they would fall to the ground in broken pieces, cutting up their hands until they were covered in red. But he hadn’t lessened his grip, and instead held back just as tightly.

And now she realized how she thought of those stars, as if they had never left them at all.

“I love you, Lloyd,” she told him, knowing that he knew. Each star they had ever made had been exactly that, holding her over and over again like a well-worn coat. “Let’s travel the world together.”

She didn’t see the stars yet because Lloyd had leaned down to kiss her, and it was a kiss that she’d always known. Every star created was a kiss on her lips, over her forehead, against her cheek. Each star was a tight embrace of his arms, or a soft breath at her ear. They had made thousands, millions of stars already, and she felt she had already loved him in every way possible.

“Yes,” he said to her, and she heard it in every voice of his. From when he was small, his hair soaked from the rain. When he was in school with her, holding her hand underneath a desk. From across the campfire, as they laughed and told stories on their journey together. From before? Or was that in the future where she got to stay with him always. “I want you too, Colette. I love you.”

Those in Luin said that the sky was filled with stardust that night, a flurry of stars encompassing the entire sky. There were new constellations, new patterns for those to follow on their own journeys. The stars were so numerous that one could barely see the tower anymore, drowned out by a different light.

They had only wanted to show the world something beautiful they made together.

--

When they were both little, Lloyd had dared himself to eat one of their stars. “We already make so many! It’s fine!” And with precision, he had taken a bright star and popped it into his mouth like it was a piece of candy. Maybe he had thought it would taste like one, like bubblegum or one of the gummy gels they sold at the local shop near the school.

Colette had gasped, worried for the star. Then Lloyd blinked, opening his mouth. The star was no longer there to light up his tongue.

“You really did eat it!” she said.

“I didn’t!” Lloyd patted his hands against his lips, and then his cheeks. “I didn’t even swallow it yet.”

“Oh.” Colette tilted her head, trying to think up an answer that any six-year old would try to do when faced with such a mystery. “Maybe it just went back.”

“Back to where?”

As an answer, Colette reached to grab Lloyd’s hand, pressing it against hers. A soft, familiar glow, with a single star appearing at the center of it all.

“See? It’s back!”

Lloyd brought both of their hands up to his face, so he could examine the star better. “But…how can you even tell it’s the same one?”

“Hm…” Colette winked at him. “I just do. Don’t you feel the same?”

Lloyd’s smile as a radiant as the star. “Yeah… I guess this is what magic feels like.”

Their hands stayed clasped, even as the star flew away, narrowly escaping being a child’s dessert. But it was so Lloyd-like for him to think of that, Colette thought. He was just so happy to be making stars, to be creating something so beautiful for the world to see.

--

The white ribbons that trailed from Lloyd’s collar always caught her eyes, made her follow their motion at every soft breeze or turn of his head. She always felt that, at any moment, they might transform into wings.

So, one night, still on their new journey, she asked him, “Do you ever want to fly?”

Sometimes strange magic just happened, taken for granted like the air that they breathed, or the crashing of the ocean waves. Sometimes it hurt, like when her voice had been snuffed out, and she missed the feeling of hunger. But sometimes it didn’t. Sometimes it did something wonderful.

Out in the plains, holding onto her hand, Lloyd wondered.

“Can we do that?”

Colette only felt excitement, giggling as she rubbed a thumb against his wrist. “I think so… Why else can the stars fly too?”

Things really were as simple as that. Her feet felt light, and the ribbons of Lloyd’s jacket unfurled in the air, and kept doing so until it shimmered into something blue and grand.

She always knew Lloyd had magic in him.

“Your wings are…” he started to say, but she felt them too, floating towards the stardust that was still above them. She wouldn’t mind if they disappeared into the sky together, because the stars would at least keep them company. Maybe even Aska if they found him on the way.

They laughed together, moving their wings in a flurry of color, following the stars. On that night, anyone who looked to the skies thought they were shooting stars, and that if they made a wish for them, the strength of such a wish would be twice as powerful.

Or so the saying goes.

[organabanana]

Up against the (glass) wall || Supercorp

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Supergirl (TV 2015)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: None

Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor

Characters: Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor, Alex Danvers

Additional Tags: Lab Sex, absolute nonsense, lena luthor protocol but it's smut, alex would like a very long vacation, Oral Sex. oh rao     

Summary: Frustrated by the lab's glass walls and lack of privacy, Lena decides to use her genius intellect to build something that'll allow her and Kara to have some alone time in between missions. Alex really only wanted to put her scientific skills to use in the lab, but she ends up discovering Lena's prototype is not quite as successful as it originally seemed.

Notes: this is the result of a totally serious and normal conversation with @emiltons and I feel like it’s 100% her fault tbh.

[ao3 link]

It starts with Kara arriving at the Tower after a particularly challenging mission. She could’ve flown straight home for a shower and some well-deserved rest, but she knows Lena can’t sleep while Kara is on duty, and she knows exactly what her girlfriend does when she can’t sleep. So Kara walks straight to the lab and smiles at the sight of Lena in her element, inventing what Kara has no doubt will be yet another world-saving gadget for them to use.

For a moment, Kara just watches her, grateful for the glass walls allowing her to see her girlfriend work without having to use her powers at all. There’s something soothing about the way Lena works, slow and methodical and precise even when she’s doing it just to keep her mind from drifting to Kara and the dangers she faces as Supergirl. And really, there’s no reason Lena should worry for a minute longer than strictly necessary, so Kara finally pushes the glass door open and walks into the lab.

“Hey, I’m ba—“ Lena turns around so quickly, wraps her arms around Kara so tightly, that Kara can only let out a quiet chuckle and hold on, enjoying the closeness and the scent of Lena’s hair filling up her lungs as Lena lets the tension of the last fourteen hours dissolve into the hug.

“Hey, baby,” Kara tries again, softer this time, breathed against the skin of Lena’s temple, “are you okay?”

Lena nods, lips pressing against Kara’s neck for a parting kiss before she finally pulls away from Kara’s arms to take a good look at her.

“I am now,” Lena says, eyes narrowing just so as she takes in the rips on Kara’s supersuit. Fingertips touch the torn fabric on Kara’s waist and across her left bicep, the smudges of dirt and pulverized concrete on her neck and cheek. “Are you?”

Kara grins. “Takes a bit more than a collapsing abandoned building to stop your girlfriend.”

And then Kara flexes her biceps, playfully, just because she knows Lena gets a kick out of her playing the confident jock from time to time. She definitely (she swears!) isn’t thinking about her supersuit and the small tear right over her left bicep, and she absolutely isn’t anticipating the way the fabric rips over her flexed muscle.

But.

As innocent as Kara is in all this, and she cannot possibly overstate how innocent she truly is, she’s not complaining at all when Lena tilts her head just so, green eyes fixated on the torn fabric and the bulging muscle underneath as she slowly licks her lips.

“Oh,” Lena says — breathes, really — as she arches one eyebrow, “I see.”

And then she reaches up and traces the ripped fabric once again, fingers pressing just so, like she’s testing just how fitting that Girl of Steel nickname really is.

“Who else is here?” Lena asks, voice low and darkened green eyes fixated on Kara’s, “Are we alone?”

“I, um—“ Kara struggles to make her brain cooperate and process Lena’s words when it feels like every single nerve ending in her body has been rerouted to that exact spot Lena is touching, “I think J’onn… lives here?”

Does M’gann live here also? Kara doesn’t know. Kara doesn’t care. Kara can’t quite breathe right.

“It’s pretty late,” Lena says, and her voice sounds like sun-warmed honey tastes, “I’m sure he’s asleep.”

And Kara swears she tries to think about it. About whether it’s past J’onn’s bedtime, about whether J’onn has a bedtime at all, and about whether martians even sleep in the first place. But suddenly Lena’s free hand is grabbing Kara’s and guiding it down, down, down under her skirt, and Lena’s lips are pressing a warm kiss to Kara’s jaw, and Kara suddenly realizes what’s going on.

“Oh,” she breathes out, blue eyes fluttering closed for a moment before they widen in shock at the realization of what’s going on. “Wh— here!?” Don’t get her wrong, she makes no move to stop the path of Lena’s lips towards her ear or pull her hand away from the warm soft skin of Lena’s inner thigh, but still. You know. “Lena, we can’t—“

“Can’t we?” Kara can feel Lena’s smile against her skin, and the way Lena’s teeth graze her earlobe makes her fingers inch just that little bit higher up Lena’s thigh. “Why not?”

What an excellent question. Kara tilts her head to the side to give Lena’s lips and teeth and tongue free access to her neck as she tries to find the part of her brain that knows why they can’t actually have sex in the lab.

“Because…” Kara sighs happily at a particularly well-placed kiss, “…it’s kinda rude?”

She feels Lena’s chuckle rather than hears it, and it makes a little shiver run down her spine. “It’s rude?” Kara can’t see Lena’s eyebrow, but she’s sure it’s arched so very prettily right now. How unfair. “This is my lab.”

And you know, Lena makes a good point, Kara figures, hand moving further up under Lena’s skirt. This is Lena’s side of the Lab. Her office, sort of unofficially, ever since she became an official member of the team. But still…

“You’re such a goody two shoes,” Lena teases, pressing herself a little closer against Kara.

“I mean, I’m Supergirl. It’s kind of my th— oh —“Lena’s teeth nip at Kara’s neck, completely derailing her thoughts for a moment, “—thing.”

And Kara is almost ready to give in. She’s almost ready to accept that yes, this lab counts as Lena’s home away from home so it’s perfectly fine if they want to get frisky in it. Her hand finishes its trek up Lena’s thigh and finds damp lace waiting for her, and frankly, they’re grown ups. She’s a whole super heroine. If she wants to fu—

“Formic acid!” Brainy’s voice reaches them just a second before he walks into the lab, which is lucky because it gives Kara just enough time to disentangle herself from her girlfriend at the speed of light.

Brainy stares through the glass wall separating the main lab from Lena’s smaller area. His eyes move from Lena to Kara and then back to Lena again, brow furrowed just so as he tries to figure out exactly what’s not right.

“Formic acid?” Lena prompts as she opens the door, voice entirely too level for someone who’s just been nearly caught with her girlfriend’s hand between her legs.

“Ah. Yes.” Brainy nods. “Formic acid. Nia’s neighbor has ants. It gave me an idea for the antidote we were talking about earlier. I think if we just—“

“Tomorrow. Brainy.” Kara interrupts him with a smile, hand wrapping around Lena’s wrist to pull her towards the exit. They have things to do. Private places to be.

“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” Lena agrees, grabbing her coat on the way out of the lab. 

***

It’s been three weeks since the formic acid incident — as Kara lovingly remembers it — when she gets to the Tower after a mission once again to find her girlfriend deep in thought at her desk.

There’s nothing particularly special about it this time. It’s early afternoon, her foes were rowdy but easily manageable, and her supersuit looks impeccable. And yet, when she walks through the glass door, Lena gives her a look.

A Look.

Oh, that look.

Kara knows the look. Knows what it means. And she very nearly offers to just fly them home right away to save themselves the pain of having to stop halfway through to relocate, but you know what? It’s a bit hard to think ahead when Lena Luthor in a deep burgundy dress is walking towards you with that look on her face.

“That was a quick mission,” Lena says, shaking her head just so to make her ponytail swish in a way Kara’s pretty sure should be some kind of illegal, “those bad guys were no match for Supergirl, huh?”

Kara is blushing. She can tell. She knows because she’s having to employ all her kryptonian strength to keep herself from saying golly or aw, gee or a number of other things that would frankly ruin this whole big super heroine fantasy Lena has going on right now. And who is she to ruin her girlfriend’s fun?

“N—no,” Kara manages, voice slightly higher than normal, and she clears her throat before continuing, “I’m super strong.”

Nailed it.

“You sure are,” Lena says with an amused smile, because she’s very sweet and she loves Kara too much to laugh at her, “do you wanna show me how strong you are, Supergirl?”

Kara nods. And then she remembers where they are and shakes her head.

“We should— I can fly us home.”

“But, baby,” Lena takes one slow step right into Kara’s personal space and Kara feels her brain begin to shut down, “I want you right now.”

“It—“ Kara is trying so hard to do the right thing here, she swears, even if her hands are already on Lena’s waist and she’s already pulling Lena close and Lena smells so very good, “but the walls, Lena.”

Kara can tell Lena is trying very hard not to laugh.

“The walls?”

“Yeah,” Kara presses a quick kiss to deep red lips, just because it feels rude not to acknowledge how delicious they look, “I get what you guys were going for with the… futuristic sci-fi interior design, but all this glass is not very private, baby.”

Lena grins. And it’s not just a regular charmed grin. Not the normal one she shows when Kara says something sweet or funny and her heart gets a little fluttery in her chest (Kara’s heard it). No. This is something else. This is the smile Lena wears when they absolutely destroy everyone at game night.

Lena’s won. What exactly she’s won, Kara doesn’t know yet. But oh, Lena has absolutely won… something.

“You know, you’re right. They’re not very private at all. That’s why I made this.”

Lena shows her what looks to Kara like tiny remote and pushes the button.

Lena Luthor protocol engaging.

Kara cocks one eyebrow at Lena, who simply shrugs as a small robot flies from under her desk.

“I named it after the original one. For nostalgia’s sake.”

Kara stares in confusion as the small robot hovers nearby and points what looks like a camera at them. Except it’s not a camera. It’s… some kind of spotlight?

“What’s it doing?” Kara can see the light inside the robot, can see it pointing the ray at them, but she sees no change in the lightning of the lab.

“It’s making us invisible.”

“What? I can see you,” Kara looks down at her hands on Lena’s waist, “I can see me.”

“That’s because you’re not looking through the glass. Look there,” Lena says, pointing at a polished steel surface on the main area of the lab. There should be a reflection there… but there isn’t one.

Kara stares, blue eyes wide and lips parted in surprise. She’s seen plenty of impressive tech since becoming Supergirl — let alone what she grew up with in Krypton — but this is something else.

Of course, the fact that Lena’s body is pressed up against her own, and the fact that she developed a whole new technology just to be able to get frisky in her glass-covered lab may have something to do with it.

“What do you think?” Lena does this thing she does where she sort of arches against Kara’s body in a way that makes Kara’s brain feel like it’s sloshing about in a sea of Lena’s perfume, and then presses her lips against Kara’s jaw, and to be honest Kara isn’t thinking at all right now.

“Wh— what?” One of Kara’s hands slides down from Lena’s waist to the curve of her ass, grabbing a handful of it as Lena’s teeth oh-so-gently nip at Kara’s bottom lip. “Wh—“ Kara tries again, barely above a whisper, but frankly she’s much more interested in kissing Lena like she means it — like she deserves to be kissed — and she completely forgets she’s been asked a question in the first place.

“Kara,” Lena pulls away from the kiss, lipstick a little bit smeared, cheeks a little bit flushed, breathing a little bit stilted, “I asked you a question.”

And you know, Kara is sure that’s true. She’s, like, so sure. But Lena is taking a step back to lean right against that sleek glass wall and pulling Kara along, and Kara’s brain is powerless to process anything beyond the fact that her girlfriend is practically begging her to have her way with her up against that wall.

And that’s… well, that’s something.

“Yeah,” Kara chooses to answer, because frankly she’d say yes to anything Lena asked right now and she’s a bit busy kissing up the path of freckles on Lena’s neck to care about the actual question right now, “yeah, baby, of course.”

Normally, Lena is far from pleased when she detects even a hint of Kara trying to placate her with mindless agreement, but this must be working for her because all Kara feels under her lips is an amused giggle right as Lena’s fingers slide into blond hair.

“What do you think of the new protocol?” Lena’s voice has a touch of teasing weaved into the words, like she knows the question is ultimately irrelevant but she likes watching Kara struggle to form coherent thoughts while horny. And, you know, Kara can respect that.

“It’s so good,” the hand that’s not on Lena’s ass moves up to cover Lena’s right breast, and Kara celebrates her own incredible luck by pressing a kiss to Lena’s lips, “you’re so smart,” another kiss, this time to a smile Lena can’t quite contain, “my genius girlfriend.”

Lena’s blunt fingernails lightly scratch at Kara’s scalp, making her hum happily against Lena’s lips. “You’re just horny,” Lena teases, her tone clearly stating just how happy she is that’s the case.

“And humbled! By your genius intellect.” Kara squeezes Lena’s ass and kisses the tip of Lena’s nose, because she’s cute and Kara knows deep down there’s a little part of Lena that will always need to hear how good she is out loud. “I can do both. I’m Supergirl.”

Lena chuckles, low and soft, and rewards Kara’s thoughtfulness with a kiss. “Well, Supergirl,” she says, shooting her girlfriend a look that hits Kara right between her legs, “if you’re feeling humbled, you may as well show me how much.”

And then. Then, Lena uses her grip on Kara’s hair to gently tug down, just so, just enough to make Kara’s eyes widen with the realization of where Lena wants her. On her knees. At Lena’s feet. And frankly, Kara files this under things they absolutely need to explore further, because she swears she feels her body temperature rise by at least a couple degrees.

But she’s not about to make Lena wait. So Kara slowly sinks down to her knees, blue eyes locked with green just so Lena can see. So Lena can see Supergirl kneeling at her feet.

When her right knee touches the floor, she hears Lena’s breath catch in her throat.

“Go on,” Lena says, upper back leaning against the wall, “show me.”

Kara nods, hands wrapping around lena’s thighs and slowly sliding up, up, up, bringing Lena’s pencil skirt along with them. She can’t resist kissing every inch of soft, warm skin she uncovers, lips trailing a path up one of Lena’s inner thighs and then the other, until all she needs to do is push the bunched up skirt up over her hips and ass to reach the lacy (Kara is willing to bet) fabric of her—

“Oh,” Kara breathes out, staring at the spot where Lena’s panties should be but decidedly aren’t. And Kara, to her credit, manages to look up into green eyes and shoot her girlfriend a teasing smirk along with a fake scandalized look. “Miss Luthor.”

There’s a dusting of pink across the bridge of Lena’s nose that Kara finds frankly unfair given the circumstances. “Well, I knew the prototype would be ready by the time you came back.”

“See? Genius girlfriend,” Kara smiles as she presses a kiss to Lena’s mound, pulling a happy little sigh out of her, “so smart.”

And then Kara stops talking, because she has much more important things to do with her mouth. Things like kissing the slick skin of Lena’s inner thighs, humming in delight at the smell and taste of her girlfriend and the way Lena’s fingers fist in her hair.

Kara takes her time, lips and teeth and tongue exploring every inch of Lena’s cunt but pointedly avoiding her clit, just because she happens to think there’s no sound more beautiful than the way Lena says please.

“You look so good down there,” Lena says, breathy and flushed, “right—“ her breath catches in her throat, and Kara smiles between Lena’s thighs, “—there.”

And this is why Kara will never really mind the way Lena teases her and makes her blush and stumble over her words. Because she knows the tables turn as soon as she’s between Lena’s legs.

“Where, baby?” Kara asks, her face the perfect picture of innocence as she presses a soft kiss just shy of Lena’s clit, “Here?”

Lena’s eyes flutter closed and she leans her head back against the glass wall with a smile. “Kara.”

She’s never Supergirl when they’re like this.

“Here?” Kara’s teeth gently nip at one of Lena’s lips, and then the other, “Or here?”

“Kara, please.”

And there it is. Right there, the most beautiful sound in the world.

So Kara decides to reward Lena by finally flicking her tongue against a stiff clit before wrapping her lips around it, and she doesn’t hold it against Lena when she pulls on Kara’s hair instead of saying thanks.

All slowness and teasing forgotten, Kara puts her lips and teeth and tongue at Lena’s service, letting Lena hook one leg over Kara’s shoulder to give her better access as she uses her hold on Kara’s hair to pull her closer still.

Kara feels like she’s drunk on Lena’s taste and smell and the sound of the moans she’s struggling to stifle. She can taste just how close Lena is, she can feel it in the way her thighs quake and her breathing gets more and more stilted and her hips rock harder and faster against Kara’s tongue.

“God, Kar—“ Kara hears the sound of Lena smacking one hand over her own mouth, keeping herself as close to quiet as possible — Kara is delighted for her own superhearing that allows her to hear it all anyway — as she rides Kara’s mouth.

She’s so close. So close Kara feels the one leg holding Lena up shaking perilously as a quiet moan escapes between Lena’s fingers, and Kara is just in time to prop her up with one hand as Lena finally comes, head tilting back and hitting the glass wall with a soft thud.

And that — exactly that moment — is when Kara freezes at the sound of someone walking towards the lab.

It’s been a while since Alex has been alone in the lab. It’s been a while since she’s been in the lab at all, to be honest. And that doesn’t seem fair, right? She may not be Lena or Brainy, but she’s a scientist! She can do science things. That formic acid conundrum they were talking about the other day?

Alex could have helped.

But do they ever ask Alex for scientific input? No. All Alex is good for is apparently acrobatic crime-fighting and daring make-up choices.

And she’s ready to prove her worth. So after checking that nobody’s already in the lab, Alex walks in and starts looking around. Innocently, of course. She’d never do anything really intrusive like go into Lena’s personal area or mess with Brainy’s future toys. No, no. But she’ll look around. Check out what they’re doing. See if anything looks like it could be solved by an actual medical doctor, thank you very much.

And then — then she hears it. Some kind of… thud?

On the other side of the glass wall, cloaked by Lena’s invisibility robot, Kara braces herself with one hand on the wall as she holds Lena up with the other. And Kara may be Supergirl, but there’s something to be said about trying to be quiet while holding Lena through a frankly earth-shattering — if she may say so herself — orgasm with her face still between Lena’s thighs.

It takes skill.

And Kara is managing just fine, mind you, until Lena twitches in a way Kara wasn’t expecting, and Kara loses her hold on her for just a split second before she presses her up against the wall once again.

Alex narrows her eyes. The thud she could ignore, but she swears there’s the faintest outline of a handprint on the glass. And just when she’s about ready to chalk it all up to sleep deprivation, she hears a… squeak. The unmistakable sound of skin sliding against glass.

And now it’s not just the handprint there. There’s something round next to it. Something like—

Wait.

Is that the outline of an ass?

“Oh my God, Kara!” Alex turns around, voice climbing higher in both pitch and volume as she speaks because she doesn’t know whether she’s just seen the outline of her sister’s butt or her sister’s girlfriend’s butt but either way she’d very much like to have her memory wiped right now. Is J’onn home?

“Not this again!” She continues, somewhere between horrified and desperate. To be fair, she’s never walked into invisible wall sex before, but she has interrupted a frankly worrying amount of heavy make-out sessions for the time Kara and Lena have been together, and she’d really rather not think about what those two would have done had she remained asleep for a few minutes longer the last time she agreed to a movie night.

It’s a pattern of emotionally scarring behavior, is all she’s saying.

“And you know!” Alex turns around, eyes squeezed shut because she does not want to catch even the slightest glimpse of that assprint ever again. “You know,” she bangs on the wall for emphasis, just once, “I’m all for pride, but there is such a fucking thing as a healthy amount of shame!”

Alex stomps out of the lab, and her aggravated footsteps can still be faintly heard in the distance when Lena clears her throat. She’s blushing bright red, but her voice sounds remarkably steady for someone whose left leg is still hooked over her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“Joy,” Lena says, and the sleek virtual personal assistant on her desk whirs to life. “Protocol prototype version 1.0 partially successful,” she dictates, “consider one-way glass going forward.”

“Oh, oh! And Joy?” Kara pipes up from between Lena’s thighs, “Please order Alex a ‘we’re sorry’ pie.”

Lena simply nods. “Make it strawberry this time.”

[theodora3022]

Too Trusting (Yandere Ciel Phantomhive X F!reader)

Summary: You picked up a half-dead young man from a dark alley, tended to his wounds  with your nurse skills. However, you did not expect his way of paying his debts.

Notes: So this is a Ciel counterpart of this by @animeyanderelover First time writing for Black butler so hopefully this do not turn out to be too OOC.

Ciel is aged up in this, so no pedophilia haha.

Word count:3.1k(I went overboard oops, a sequal is already taking space up in my mind but whatever), long read with caution

Trigger Warning(s): Gore, drugging, implied dub-con, stalking

Stars glistening behind thin clouds, while the silver moon watches over midnight London carefully. 

You yawn and stretch your stiff limbs as you walk out the hospital hall. It has been a long night, though not many patients, the slow hours from afternoon to midnight is nothing less then torture. 

You know what you were getting into when you took up studying nursing, but you still cannot chase away this sensation of annoyance. The walk back to your family’s manor is usually peaceful, as it is through a well-to-do neighbourhood of the city. But you still stay on your guard as you lower your hood cape and hurried along. Under ideal circumstances, you would have a carriage for commute, but your noble yet impoverished family could only live a modest life even though your father holds the title of Count. As a result you grown to be independent, cleaned your own room, dressed yourself,  enough to become a hard-working nurse instead of a proper noble maiden.

You were unsure of your eyes when you noticed a trail of blood prints leading towards a dark alleyway. Judging by the traces, it means the person, or the thing is still nearby as they are fresh. Should you follow this? What if it is a criminal? But your care for this person’s health got the best of you. With this amount of blood loss, the wounds can be fatal if not given proper medical care. Whoever they are, you cannot just walk away and forget all about them, as it is against your conscience.

A young man dressed in fine suits is not what you expected, although you imagined that suit would look better if not soaked crimson, it seems that he has been shot by guns, the bullet wholes are the proofs. This is no good, you thought as you observe the pool of blood forming underneath him. He needs treatment right away. Although the gunshots are not on his vital parts, such as heart or brain, the blood loss from arteries would drain his life quickly.

“Sir? Can you hear me?” Crouching down, you made a close-up examination of his condition. Unconscious and pale, it seems he had dragged his way into his dark back alley with all those bullet shots. Putting some simple bandages over his wounds, you scoop his slim form up and hurried out of that place.

It feels like a long, feverish dream for Ciel, being carried as he senses the bullets still present in his flesh.

He woke up staring towards your bedroom ceiling. It is morning already, where is Sebastian? Noticing the unfamiliar scenery, Ciel quickly reaches for his right eye, relieved to feel that his eyepatch is still intact.

With a crack of the door, you walked in with a teacup in hand. “I see that you’re awake, I was expecting you to be in coma a bit longer.” Although you are a bit offended by the young man’s cold and evaluating gaze, you still put the cup of warm water on the nightstand.

Instead of taking a sip at the liquid, he asked questions. So demanding, fitting for a young noble.

“Where am I?” “The (family name) manor, do not worry, my parents would not be home until later this week.” Brining a man home while your parents are away, how scandalous, yet you know the laundry maid and the cleaning maid knows to keep their mouths shut. “I advise you to not trying to move too intensively at present, your wounds are still healing.” Pouring yourself a cup, you took a seat on the long sofa next to him. That is where you doze off last night, where the wounded man took your bed. Today is supposed to be your day off, you planned to use it to catch up on sleep, but now it is all ruined thanks to mister mystery on your bed here.

The (family name) family? Ciel vaguely recalls reading about this name before. This house of Counts used to be quite influential in the days of the Queen’s grandfather, George III, and the regency era, but now they are nothing more then minor nobles. Still, he cannot fandom how a lady like you had saved him from that bloody mess. 

Looking down to his abdomen, Ciel can see he had received medical attention from you. Now that he has been saved from the reaper’s collection, Ciel knows the best thing to do is calling for his loyal butler. However, he must find a way to repay his debts you. You did save his life, after all.

“How long was I unconscious?” “Only for a couple of hours. May I have your name, Sir?”

He knew he should hide his identity, even from you. The less people knowing that the Queen’s guard dog was almost successfully assassinated last night, the better. But as if his lips have a mind of its own, Ciel let it slip out. “Ciel.” Good thing he managed to hold the word after.

Ciel, the French word for sky. Suitable for his eye color. “Well, pleasure to meet you Sir Ciel, I am (y/n). You might have guessed I am a noble but spare me the court protocols. Right now I am nothing but a humble nurse.” Now you have a chance to look at Ciel properly, he is actually quite handsome with those delicate features. Silky blue-black hair paired with peacock blue eyes, although one of them is covered by an eyepatch. You were tempted to pry when he was still out but choose not to as it could bring horrific consequences. Noblity can be so cruel, you do not want to get dragged into their mess further.

“I thank you, for coming to my aid.” Ciel lowering his upper body forward, attempt to bow as best as he could in his current state.

“It was nothing, really. Please be careful, Sir Ciel. Your wounds are sealed, but vigorous movement can still open them up.” Your knotted brow amuses him, how can you act so nonchalantly when receiving gratitude form Lord Phantomhive himself? You are a peculiar one indeed. Brining a stranger home and patching him up, while you know nothing of his identity or intentions. How very naïve of you. Guess there no harm in trusting you for a bit. If you want him dead you could have just left him in that damp alleyway.

Taking a sip of the teacup you prepared for him, the Earl frowned at the plain taste. But he drank all of it, nonetheless. Being subjected to tea for so long, he finds water dull and it leaves a foul taste in his mouth. It would have to suffice for now. “My butler would be here soon; would you mind opening the windows?”

Baffled by this odd request, you still drew away the curtains and let the morning sunshine in the room. Seeing you bathed in sunlight had made Ciel feel a certain something. He is startled by this strange sensation, how it made him blush and lose composure. The Earl had never been very sociable person since childhood, so the only female he frequently spend time with is his fiancée Elizabeth. One could say the fairer sex is foreign territory to this man. Ciel is used to being around Elizabeth, out of duty as she is his future bride. But he never felt this warm feeling when he is with her. You might not be a beauty by popular standards, but there is just something about you that made him want to... maybe it is your caring gaze, or your easygoing attitude, Ciel is not sure which one to pick.

“Excuse me, young lady, do you mind telling me how serious my lord’s injuries are?” You jumped back, frightened by the sudden appearance of the tall man on your window ledge. This is two stories high; how did he get up here? No wonder why Ciel wants you to open the windows.

“Sebastian, you frightened her.” The young man scolded the butler, who merely bowed and apologized for the intrusion. You begin describing his bullet wounds in great detail, even showing him the aftermaths: the bullets you took out before on a plate. But you soon found yourself staring up into the butler’s gorgeous eyes, and you started stuttering. Those eyes are like swirling tornadoes, drawing you close every minute. Although Sir Ciel is already an attractive lad, his butler seems to be on whole new level.

Usually when women were swooning over Sabastian, Ciel would find it irritating but simply ignore the interaction, as it could be used to their advantage. But seeing your starring eyes fixated on the tall man in black, a bunch of...jealousy hit in in the head. You saved him; he is supposed to be the one you are looking after! Why are you so focused on that demon? Taking notes of his young master’s angry signs: how Ciel bit his underlip, Sabastian knows he had gone too far with you.

“Sabastian, carry me back home, that is an order.” He spitted out the sentance rather harshly.

You snapped out of your funny state, approving his actions: “If you must move, it is the best if someone carry you. Sir Sabastian, do you need me to call you a carriage?”

“No need, Miss. My lord and I would be on our way now, thank you for your assistance.” Within two seconds, they both disappeared from the room, as if they were never there. You shook your head, cleaning up the teacup and the messy quilts, wondering how you are supposed to return that blood-stained suit jacket that still lies in the laundry bin downstairs.

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The Earl Phantomhive is now back to his study, reading a report about you.

“May I ask you why this young lady had peaked your interests?” That smirk on Sabastian’s lips successfully irritated Ciel’s short temper. Scowling at him, he tried to explain how he only wants to properly thank you on saving his life. “I never like owning debts, but I do repay them. What is that smirk for, Sabastian? Are you teasing me?”

“Why, how could I milord. I do not have the courage to mock my master.” After giving him a warning look, Ciel returns to his paperwork, setting your files aside. But unfortunately his mind starts to wonder.

 What would it be like, to have your hands messaging his shoulder when they are sore from work? Those hands that pulled him from death not so long ago. No, no. He has to stop. Ciel Phantomhive already has a fiancée, and even though he had no romantic feelings for Elizabeth, it is not proper to just daydream about another lady in such salacious manners.

Even so, Ciel needs to make you do not face any dreadful consequences because of him. Many people want him dead; he simply cannot allow you to be affected by his foolishness. A precious person like deserves to be protected and cherished. 

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Labelling your strange encounter with Sir Ciel as a notable but past event, you carried on your daily duties per usual. Your parents did not suspect a thing as you took care of all traces of Ciel, you still work those awful full night shifts. That suit jacket is cleansed, folded neatly in your bottom drawer, as a reminder of Ciel and his handsome butler is not a fever dream.

While browsing the London news during afternoon tea, you glance at the gossip column and find how Lord Phantomhive had broke off his engagement with little lady Midford. You pay it no particular mind, as you were barely involved in high society due to your family’s declining status. Gossips such as these does not bother you a bit. You placed the newspaper back to its proper shelve, finishing the biscuits as you thought about how you should get out of this state of unease.

Maybe you are just losing your sanity from night shifts, but ever since that day Ciel appear in your life, you have this constant feel of being watched everywhere. In your bedroom, in the hospital halls or in the streets, no matter where. No matter how hard you searched, there is nobody. Even though you sense no malicious intent, it still worries you and kept you up at nights. Your parents are worried about your ever-growing dark circles, but you just brush it off as side effects of your job.

“Really, dear, you shouldn’t overwork yourself.” The Countess, also your mother said at the dinner table one night. “The household can still run without your overtime pay; you know.”

You nod silently, pretending to be having trouble dissecting the salmon filet. Working is a way to help your parents pay for the ever-expensive bills of this manor, as well as your insurance of not being sold on the marriage market by your devious uncle, who brought suitors to every family party. How he said: “Your family might not be what it used to be, but a son of a wealthy merchant can change that!” disgusts you so. Those men disgust you also. All they want is that Count title, as you are the only child, your family title would go to you.      

“You got mail, milady.” Your washer maid presents the latest postage to you. Ah, is it the pay checks?

When you held the white envelope in your hands, you could not believe your eyes; The scarlet wax seal is engraved with the crest of a dog, representing the Phantomhive family. What could the Earl possibly want with you? Although you are a nobleman’s daughter, you never acted like one and you lived a middle-class life. The only distinction being the family tree and your blood. Knowing your worth, you did not assume naively how the earl must have want your hand in marriage, even if he recently broke off his engagement. Your status of a backwater noble is too insignificant for him to notice, so why did you receive this letter?

It indicates the Lord wants you to join him for dinner tomorrow night, which made your stomach churns. Your table manners are not the best, as your parents do not care for such things. Along with the letter there is a package containing a fine black dress, its velvet material surely feels expensive. What did you do to attract such attention from the Queen’s guard dog? You simply cannot fathom why, never at once Ciel came to your mind. You initially wanted to turn down the invitation, but your father said it would reflect poorly on the family. You accepted it, not wanting to put your parents in trouble. This must be a mistake, you thought. I am not qualified to be some lady, all I wanted is to help people in the infirmary.

The dress fits you perfectly, as if it is tailored by the finest in London. A shiver climbs down your spine as you thought about how he obtained your measurements. All you have to do is smile, eat whatever, and he will get bored of you in no time, right?

No.

When you were greeted by that devilishly handsome butler again, you were so relieved. This is just Ciel inviting you to dinner, to show his gratitude! There is nothing to be concerned about.

Ciel not like himself from few weeks ago at all. You can tell that he is trying whatever strategy to make you feel comfortable, even telling you to forget about stiffy table manners if you like. Hm, how unusual, as you heard before the Earl is found of strict etiquette and protocols. But having seen him in a fragile state before, you never once suspected his true intention.

Ciel is mad. Not at just anyone, but at his loyal servant, Sebastian.

How dare he drawn your attention away, how dare he makes you giggle like a fool, how dare he make you smile like that. Doesn’t the demon know you will soon belong to his master from all those investigations? It is bad behaviour for a servant.

“Were you listening, (y/n)?” Ciel suddenly stops in the middle of a description on his company’s latest candies.

“I-I’m sorry Lord Phantomhive, it is just...” You lower your head to apologize, but he seems less then pleased.

“Sabastian, leave the room now.” “As you wish, young master.”

 After the butler backout of the dining room, leaving the two of you alone, Ciel’s expression completely changed. But you are a bit preoccupied by your dizziness. Why did your head feel so heavy all of a sudden? Have you caught a chill? Standing up from the chair, you courtesies to your host: “Thank you, Lord Phantomhive for this delicious dinner. I am feeling rather unwell, so I am afraid I must take my leave.” You almost lost your balance because of your vertigo, only caught the chair for support at the last moment.

Thin, but strong long fingers grabbed your wrist, forcing you to sit down beside him. “Oh no, my dear. I think you are exactly where you need to be.”

His...dear? What can he possibly mean by that? There are certainly many other suitable noble ladies available to him, why?

However, your mind starting to become cloudy, as you can no longer form coherent thoughts. Seeing you in such hazy state, a sinister smile forms on his lips, as he pulls your body into his embrace, slowly stroking your hair as you black out. Feeling you had been forced into a dreamless sleep, Ciel knows he had succeeded, as always. To be honest with himself, Ciel did abuse your trust, by seasoning your steak a little differently, but it is your fault for being so trusting of someone you only met once. Ciel had won this game, now he would gladly take the prize to the new bedroom he so thoughtfully prepared for you. You are going to love it, including his series of plans. The title of Lady Phantomhive suits a sweet person like you impeccably.

He had thought about this long and hard, and he came to a conclusion of the best way to repay you is to offer you a position you cannot possibly refuse.  The position of Lady Phantomhive. He even upsetted Elizabeth for this! It should qualify as a decent compensation. Should you ever think it is not suitable, your parents would be a good place to start negotiating. You wouldn’t want anythnig happening to them, don’t you?

Now that Ciel understand how it is like to “love” someone romantically, he swears he is going to try his best to make you comfortable with him in this new home. Your presence would lighten the grim mood of this manor greatly. Easily swooping your unconscious body up bridal style, Ciel begin to walk up the grand staircase, towards the bedrooms. Maybe the manor could return to its former glory in the near future, with a happily married couple and their adorable little brats. He could have a family again! Doesn’t that sound just lovely?