#I am still here tho I just ain't as active as I like to be

[lxkexbxss]

Sorry for not being on here a lot...monkeys wrestled my attention from the turtles once more and they refuse to let me focus on anything else ewe;;;;

[chattemagique]

yandere! AllMight headcannons + chapter 1 (?)

tw: self-harm, kidnapping, use of curse word (fuck), stalking, obsessive behavior, mentions of daddy issues, indirect mentons of suicide, reader has mental issues fem!bodied reader, mentions of sex

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

PROCEED WITH CARE

- Basically his associations with his first crush and you influenced his main delusions. Also that you wanted to become a superhero, which is so altruistic, just as she was and he was. You were totally made for him. And even in this difficult situation he was there as your savior to guide you towards the right path.

-yan! All might doesn't see you as a villain

-rather as lost young woman or rather babygirl (im sorry for the old ass joke, this actually stayed in my drafts for almost a year)

-delusional yes -his roles in reader's life borders between someone similar to a father figure and a lover, leaning more towards the lover side -would play a therapist with you -could give you the whole world if only you stayed with him and listened to him, stop committing crime and maybe found yourself some hobby or activity that you like

-he would try to be your therapist, would do a little research on mental health and self-harm as he's busy with work/or ask the therapists that worked in the same company as him

Just imagine sitting in his lap while crying in his chest. His hand slowly caressing your back while whispering sweet, comforting words in your ear that it's going to be alright, that he's going to help you get through this.

-ngl I feel like (y/n) would be the first one to initiate sex despite All might being delusional he wouldn't force himself onto you he's just not built this way (kidnapping doesn't count tho ) besides he did that to save you from prison

-It'd be after some time, when he's tried talking to you, feed you with your favorite food and many other interesting, cute desserts that he'd usually bring Midoriya, walking with you in the garden (in the house that he'd brought you in) out of desperation you just kinda started to open up to him, bc there was nowhere else to go.

-he's actually completely fine with you disappearing and not appearing in public anymore, if you don't wanna be a hero

-if you do, then he will "wipe out" any information about this robbing case which has your name, using his connections or/and suggest you to change your name 

***

There used to be a time, when you wanted to become a hero. Not anymore tho. You're even started to doubt whether this wish was yours and not somebody else's.. Were you yourself or just wearing a mask, pretending to be a good person, when in reality just a hypocrite.

The bank's visitors and employees all had their faces planted on the floor while your partner in crime used his quirk to emit temporarily paralyzing smoke to watch them.  You took money from safe deposit boxes.  Someone's money lol.

You didn't expect that he would be here. You were hoping that some average hero would arrive here, when you had already stolen some amount and slipped away together with your partner in crime.

"I AM HERE"

-Shit

Having barely fastened your bag, you headed to the back exit, which led into narrow alleys.  Hearing how your partner was arrested, deciding that all the attention would be on him, you ran as far as possible, weaving through the streets.  Finally seeing the descent into the subway. Since it was night, there was no one in particular and you headed as far as possible.

"Damn, I thought, that I might have to use you, " you caressed the gun through your jacket. It had two bullets, in case if this ain't going to end well and you wouldn't want to suffer in prison. It was that bad and hopeless.

The thing is he still remembers you from the first time he met you 2 years ago, when you were leaving your job at night. He saved you from the robber with a gun.

You reminded him of his first crush, your face, your body, your hair, smell, voice, your beauty, everything. And your potential that he saw in you, when you still wanted to become a superhero.

From that time he watches you all the time.. At first he thought that it wasn't normal, but he just couldn't help himself to keep watching you. Especially when he saw the scars on your wrist.

So the days went on and on and you totally forgot about this accident and couldn't even imagine that someone like nr.1 hero was stalking you.

Obviously, he was very disappointed when he found out about your robbing plans. And he never really liked your villain friend. How could somebody like you even be friends with him?! But that was also a part of your charm, since you tried not to judge people by their cover. So why were you then so judgemental about yourself?

A sudden looming figure was approaching you from the other side of the tunnel. You tried to change the directions, but it was following you. You're at a dead end now. Either you're going to the police, either to them now. Well, you decided to test your chances and meet them.

"okay" you thought, "imma just act as if I'm lost and looking for a way out towards the forest."

You saw some tall middle aged man and decided to just walk past him, as if you're looking for another exit.

"y/n"

You stopped.

"You're on a wrong path."

"Sorry?" you were confused. Who the fuck was he?

You turned your head. Your eyes met.

No. There's no way it's him.

He transformed into his full form and the tunnel room seemed so small in a second.

You didn't realize how you released the bag from your hand and were going to try to run through walls. Your quirk wasn't that advanced, but you could walk through walls. Only it was already too late as you approached the closest wall and felt your heavy eyelids closing.

You woke up in bedroom. Similar to the one you had at your home. You even thought that It was the one and that this whole non-sense from yesterday was just a dream. But it wasn't. Soon you noticed the difference from your usual room.

Your left leg felt heavier than usual. There was a black anklet that you couldn't remove. The room lacked some decor and also the drawers and wardrobe had other clothes you've never had. After inspecting the room, you decided to see what else could be hidden here. There was a big, dark brown woody closet with mirror. You opened it. Suddenly you noticed that the back of the closet was covered with pictures of you. Pictures of you being outside and inside of your room through window.. Scary shit. What the actual fuck.

You just remembered that it was All Might who you've met yesterday in the tunnel. The shocking memory made you fall back and hit the side of the bed.

"Ouch!"

Suddenly the door knob started moving and he walked in.

"(y/n), are you okay?"

You were probably delusional. You were surely delusional. This situation wasn't even serious. It couldn't. You were sleeping. Sleeping for sure.

If only.

"W-what do y-you want from m-me?" your voice was trembling.

"I want you to feel and become better.. with me." Nr.1 said surely.

[unreone]

Art Fight 2024

STARDUST Agent UNR30N3, Reporting for Duty

FIRST WEEK:

Blueprint Preparations — Sketch out the concepts for charas; came up with ideas; choose which wip to commit or scrap for next year

Wait and Prowl — Assess both sea dwellers and friendly lasers that targets the crew of mah ship

Massive Chara Inclusion Selection — Scout for active agents to choose for the mass attack

CAUTION!!!

Some of the arts below the cut contains cartoon gore and elements that might disturb you.

You may proceed with this knowledge.

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Attacks Receivedth:

SNIPPY!!

By OCandada

Remark: Awwww heccc yeeez, first attacc of the yearrrr!!! My scissor rat boii looks so adorb and meek here, almost harmless! (just the way he would like you to believe hue hueee) It's frimkin cute to see him like this, I ain't even threathened by his scissor blade bwuhagagsbs. Thanks a bunch for this mate!!!!

The Happy Hills Killers

By ZillyCat

Remarks: Looks like Amora did not head to the right direction after all hyuackc huyckyc ycuuhxk (ill see myself out-) THIS IS FRIMKIN NEAT!!!! Just gurlzzzz slayinnn like they mean it. Literally. They slayed. Many corpses went unfound. The way that Sparkly is smiling, unfazed and that Mori is so proud of herself really makes this! OML this is a delight, I ain't even mad. Ames definitely snoop to close to get there ahaifhxjkx-

Buzzsaw

By Vilke

Remarks:

BRUV- WHAT-

THIS IS AWESUUUUUUMMMMMM!!!!!!!

Fricking crayon stuffed in breadsticks, this is not just eye candy. It's the whole confectionery!!!! It's soo cool to see Sketchy despite literally being halved. The clutter of sketches around them is fun to zoom into. This cursed oracle is beyond the concept of pain and suffering, look at death straight in the eyes and smiled wide. Sure, the pain not really getting to them is a lie, but it ain't gonna bring their jive down!

This is really well-done, thanks a bunch for making this one!

Run Like Your Existence Depended on It

By @zeddye

Remarks: THE MOST PATHETIC CRITTER KNOWN TO MANNNNNNN RUNNING YET ONCE MOREEEEE. When will this damn badger ever learn that Resustance IS fuccimg futile omlll. I adore the action lines for the bg, there even seems to be a skull formation right behind Dodger. It's soooooo funni he thinks he really can escape outta this one alive bwhshsvs. Great frimkin job as always mate!

BIG ART

By OCandada

Remarks: AYYYYYYYYYY, this is neaaaat!!!! A bunch of coolio quirky misfits altogether. This makes me smile so frimkin damn much!

Cheeky Rodent

By Cosmo

Remarks: Ayyyyy snipper snoppers!!!!!!! In Cosmo's artstyle!!!!!! What a glorious time to be alive!!!! Such attitude, this is definitely the face he makes when you say what kind of cut you wanna have at his barber shop. Is internally passing judgement? What does he mean when he said that is a choice you'd obviously made??? How can one infer from his monotonous tone his true intentions? Ahh all that will never be answered. He got that smayl tho

ㅤᵕ̈

snip snip

By @pierrotlunaire08

Remarks: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! This is (onfg MY COMPULSIONS DEMAND i MUST SAY IT-) bloody awesum! The way you render fur and blood here is cuttingly good. I guess, Snippy wants to stay sharp else he'd be on edge. The shading really seams everything together-

Seriously tho, this is fricking great and I'm still put in shear awe whenever I re-realize that I received this bit.

Rufforth Attack

By @shoups32

Remarks: PURE FRICKING DELIGHTFUL- It's really cool how ye made Rufforth here exude gentleness and sweetness, leaning to a friendly air. This tol puppet doggo may be a bit broken but still approachable as everrrr oml!

Dodger the Badger

By Daaniell3

Remarks: YOOOOOO WE GOT DODGER IN DANIEL'S ASSET ARRANGEMENT ARTSTYLE BEFORE GTA V LEZGOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! It tickles my eye sockets to see funky ear tuffs AND tail variant for him here. Adding to that is his silly frightful expressions. Oh to imagine him being put in situations. Def for the sake of plot and character evolution and not my entertainment. WbUha.

□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□

That concludes my report! I'll keep y'all posted for future updates.

[charlottedabookworm]

Dawntrail Day 2

spoilers up to: lvl 93 msq (including first two dungeons and first trial)

original draft date: 29/6/24

scheduled release for: 27/7/24

time for more msq! only passively leveling picto atm - i ain't dealing with those dps queues - so i'm hoping to reach the first dungeon and trial at least today!

*

sorry wuk lamat but you did tell erenville you’d take any way that was available

*

awww Thancred’s embarrassing koana

*

….i stopped literally ten minutes before the dungeon unlock last night

ten minutes

fucker

*

question (that isn’t gonna be answered for a month lol): does who the cutscene mentions staying behijd change? cos i’m on drg and ali is staying behind but if i was a healer would it be alphi? or can alphi or wuk lamat switch out for dps on this trust dungeon?

…they probably just flex wuk lamat or alphi thinking about it

*

okay wow hi i hate that

*

sorry wuk lamat we’ll get you a rest soon let me just drive all over the zone collecting aether currents first

*

yeah but neither do your brothers

you heard even koana: he doesn’t see rhe point or ihih’hana when there are simpler ways to revitalise the soils aether. why care about tradition when you can have efficiency?

you want to learn wuk lamat and that’s the important part

*

the boy is just so damn pretty

*

i don’t care how villainous you are you do not take a seat at a cafe for your top secret villain meeting and then not at least order drinks

fucks sake support local businesses damn it

*

“As long as you cover my teleportation fees”

“…what is a teleportation?”

I’m dying-

*

time to get my arse handed to me in a spar with gulool ja ja!

*

fucking hell i was not expecting that active time maneuver to go so hard

fun fight tho not really hard but definitely has you bouncing around a lot

*

that none of them are ready for the throne?

yeah clocked that

but then that’s what this rite is for yeah? to teach them and see who will be ready

*

sareel ja is giving me major mad scientist vibes ngl

i am very worried about what he’s gonna get up to

maybe the true villain? he’s almost certainly gonna end up tossing aside zoraal ja at some point

*

damn she missed

*

i hate follow quests

doesn’t matter what game just hate

*

TWO????

there’s a second one?!?!?!

*

oh hey! nice!

we haven’t had a race speak a different language since the dragons iirc!

i mean these guys can speak both and are gonna try and kill us almost certainly but! own language!

*

wait what-

another dungeon already?

i know they do them on odd quests but still it hardly feels like any time has passed since the last dungeon esp when i played eight hours yesterday without hitting the first one

*

okay i’m digging the music in worqor zormor

*

rdm confirmed as a healer class square said it first

*

annnd valigarmanda is free

i’m not saying i’m blaming bakool ja ja despite having no evidence but

*

i were fucking right

*

that has to disqualify them right?

like bakool ja ja has to be disqualified from the rite for freeing valigarmanda right?

*

koana’s back!

i’d say they were gonna let us do trust for the trial but alphi isn’t here-

zoraal ja? huh

really expected him to have left tbh

maybe trust is back on the table then? but still no second healer (except for healer rdm ali who doesn’t steal the lb)

*

duty support yes!

i love it when they do this for trials!

*

….how tf did we get onto this platform? I see no way up in the slightest

yes i am typing this while standing in front of valigarmanda i’m on trust they’ll wait

*

huh

no idea if this is a trust trial thing? so you have a chance to learn from your mistakes? or if it’s supposed to be for everyone and it’s only showing on me cos of trusts

but also the trial was fun and can’t wait to see how the extreme ends up

*

i do appreciate that wuk lamat is basically the only one makinh friends so she’s (seemingly) the only one getting all these golden city lore dumps

*

flying unlocked for urqopacha and kozama’uka!

*

so i've been thinking aobut it for an hour or so (dog walk) and it's occurred to me what i found odd about this part of the msq

dawntraal bucks a trend that's been in every ffxiv expansion

we've had at least a single split zone since heavensward (sea of clouds) and two in every expansion since: the peaks and the fringes for stormblood, kholusia and amh areng in shadowbringers, and labyrinthos and thavnair in endwalker

dawntrail doesn't buck the trend here with urqopacha and kozama'uka

but in every previous expansion, those split zones were some of the first, usually the first, zones we visited. we explored half of them. we left and the msq continued on, we visited 1-3 other zones, and then we return once more late into the expansion to explore the other half of the zones. it has been this way in every expansion

except for dawntrail

dawntrail starts exactly were you expect, esp after shb and ew, you start the msq. the msq splits along two paths. those paths introduce the split zones. the msq remerges and continues

only instead of taking you to the third zone, as anyone who'd played the previous expansions would except, dawntrail immediately takes you back

urqopacha and kozama'uka are the two first zones you visit and then you go back and explore the other half and there are still four zones left to visit and i-

i'm really curious as to how this will change things. usually split zones are both beginning and almost endgame zones (usually place directly before the final zone in more recent expansions) so now that they are fully beginning zones what does that mean?

will this be the new trend now or is are they gonna change it up every expansion? is this just something for dawntrail?

idk and it probably means absolutely nothing but it's interesting

[arcplaysgames]

Omg Yosuke that's so thoughtful of you, organizing the "we ain't got dates" conciliatory orgy event for the holiday! I mean, we all know it's his in with Reverie but I am not gonna rat him out, let him shoot his shot! Literally! Or, figuratively, but-- you know what I mean.

ALSO THIS IS A WONDERFUL FUCKING DETAIL BUT this game is set in the era of flip phones, not smartphones, and the specific way that Yosuke types is emblematic of the way you would use a shitty ten-keypad for typing, and it's SUCH a specific touch.

oh my god now i'm curious how Japanese text messaging worked in that era. if i remember, I wanna look into that later.

yeah you know what that's fair you all can stay here forever. i grew up in florida is palmetto bugs, aka The Big Roaches That Can Fly. my fear is intense and well-founded.

Yosuke you lie like a fucking rug, you literally texted everyone and picked the folks. It would have been JUST as easy to invite EVERYONE to Aiya or something. You cannot fool me, Hanamura, I'm a higher level gay than you are.

TROY BAKER SING TO ME /slams hands on table

I see u blushu, Kanji. /bats eyelashes at Kanji

also the sad hilarity of Teddie knowing the social script more than Yosuke does occur to me, yep.

YURI LOWENTHAL, SING FOR MY AMUSEMENT

gdi no one fucking sings in this scene, what a fucking rip off! booo! zero out of five, worst game i ever played.

anyway, for Christmas proper, NANAKO AND DOJIMA ARE HOME AND I COULD FUCKING CRY ABOUT IT. nanako i am gonna squish ur lil round face i love you mwah mwah

anyway

GOT MY INSURANCE CARD MIGHT LITERALLY BE THE FUNNIEST LINE IN THIS FUCKING GAME, I'M WHEEZING. god the line read is so fucking good on it too, I love Kanji. I would kill for Kanji. He's the best fucking character in Persona and it's not even close.

anyway, shock of shocks, the cake is not poisonous this time and everyone gets to enjoy it (tho Naoto reveals it was their third attempt at making one, lol)

Teddie made Nanako a teddie doll and I want a fucking teddie doll, goddammit

don't even fucking worry about it, dojima, it's fine

Dojima accidentally brings up the fact that Reverie is leaving soon, which Fucking Sucks. but! it sucks less than being a human sacrifice to fuel a seal to prevent the fall of Nyx, The God Of The Dark Hour, so really, can't complain!

I am pretty sure Reverie is gonna live through all this. I think getting his ass shot by Adachi was the only chance of for real dying, so we should be good.

god, I would sacrifice Reverie for, uh, P3P Reverie in a heartbeat.

(I remembered in literally the middle of that sentence that all of my characters are named Reverie Vantas lol)

NANAKO I LOVE YOU can we finally finish your fucking slink tho, is that now allowed again?????

anyway the game is wrapping up and I am anticipating another P3P-style time skip to when Reverie leaves but

one, I am still sort of... not actively sour on but ambivalent about the entire Midnight Channel thing. I feel like the final explanation had a lot of plot holes and didn't really make sense if you thought about it.

two, this is not a game about dying like P3P was so there is a lack of finality to everything honestly, which has less bombast than i anticipated

three, I STILL WISH I FUCKING KNEW WHY NAMATAME, ADACHI, AND REVERIE HAD THIS POWER. like, the big eyeball mentioned it granted powers to those with the fortitude to traverse the hollow forest but WHY SPECIFICALLY THESE THREE DUDES ugh whatever

four, i hope the bonus dungeon boss has some fucking Shenanigans bc Ameno-sagiri just does not compare to Ryoji-Nyx and the multiphase shit that was so fun.

sigh! sigh!!!!!

I did max out Marie tho so I will see about that at some point I guess?

[starlightshadowsworld]

Danganronpa 3 Despair arc episode 7

Thonks

Oh so we're just gonna jump immediately into last time, which was Junko running into Ryota.

And interrogating him now.

Never thought I'd here Junko Enoshima utter the word weeb and yet here we are.

Rude, animators deserve more recognition and stuff.

The irony of an anime character going on a rant about how important anime is.

To another anime character who doesn't like anime.

The fourth wall is taking some hits this episode.

Wasn't expecting him to than show her his project.

And than for to cry.

I love how they had to include a *This is her personal opinion* note as Junko wacks down a bunch of manga with a bat.

Mukuro crying face was legitimately terrifying tho.

Oh no, don't tell Junko how to influence anyone's brains with subliminal messaging.

... Or with anything.

I thought this was just a bit but nope... This is bad... Oh no.

I'm gonna be saying that a lot aren't I.

This is what I get for wondering what Ryota was doing during all of this, because while apart of the 77th class, he's not apart of the killing game or the Remnants.

But he's part of the Future Foundation.

I am concerned about the casual conversation about using media to brainwash people and than Ryota ends it with making the world a better place.

And her smile, oh he is so gonna be a tool for destruction.

Aaannnd Gundam is doing poses with a bear.

Love to see it.

Nagito's still suspended... And was in a plane crash and ended up a deserted island.

Typical Nagito things.

.... Didn't need to see him showering in a waterfall...

And of course straight after that is Teruteru putting a banana through a donut.

I gotta hand it to these guys they really embodied high schoolers.

Gundam saying silence you perverts as a bear chomps on their hands, the best response.

And Ryota's been missing for a week.

I'm sure Junko had nothing to do with that.

Ugh Juzo's here.

Just when I had my hopes up I wouldn't have to deal with him for a while.

But fine, what you gotta say.

... Oh 20 staff members have gone missing... Nevermind that is important.

Juzo, you are the dangerous people. Maybe not specifically these dangerous people, but you do be dangerous.

.... Chisa why would you wanna lay your life down for Munakata?

Literally.... Why?

"Don't let emotions infer with the job you're here to do."

Those are bold words for you of all people to utter, Mr I damn near beat Hajime into a coma.

Get off you're high horse.

Ryota I get what you mean by the new equipment is great but you're always alone, how are you more alone here?

What cos Twogami ain't here to make sure your still alive?

Rude.

Mukuro casually kidnapping Mikan.

Typical day for both of them.

Given how Mikan... Talks about Junko... I am not looking forward to this.

Junko's analyse face is disturbing.

So she was able to, on the second watch figure out how the brainwashing works... Wow.

No yeah, ultimate analyst makes sense.

Oh look it's Izuru.

And she asked him out.

I don't ship it.

OH! I should've seen that coming but nope.

Just bodies hitting the ground, and the bloods pink again.

I guess that would be her version of a date, and Junko's the one doing the killing.

Which is somehow more terrifying

She's usually the woman in the chair, but seeing Junko be the one actively killing and torturing people is creepy.

I dunno if I've mentioned it before but I like Izuru's voice because it very much sounds like if someone had their soul drained out.

And it sounds similar to Hajime's but also not.

... Oh... Oh no...

There's kids in the classroom....and she wants to show Izuru despair on a bigger scale.

The student council too... Not just some random students.

Wait.

I had heard there were other killing games, or at the very least the 78th class wasn't the first.

So this is the first killing game... Ohh that is good.

Man the guy telling everyone to calm sounds so much like Ishimaru in both the sound of his voice and his words.

This is so much scarier than any killing game shown in the games... Holyshit Mukuro just shot a student and went you don't fall in line and do the same you'll end up like her.

No crazy executions.

No class trial.

No Monokuma.

This is terrifying.

Well at least we still have the motive videos.

Mukuro singing while this goes on is just yeah sure.

And it just keeps going... Fuck.

Also it can't be a coincidence that some of these kids loosely resemble the 78th class

I love that the chainsaw says Jason Freddy.

And the fact the last one manager to graze Izuru's cheek.

Typical hopes peak wanting to cover it up, even though Jin does want to say something.

Huh I wonder if that guy stuck with Kirigiri in the present because her father asked him to keep an eye on her if something happened to him.

Junko exposing the whole Kamakura project and the student council massacre.

And using Izuru as the scapegoat.

Clever.

So now the reserve course is coming for the main school.

"Where did you go Hinata?"

Oh erm... You don't wanna know Chiaki.

Trust me on that.

[lurkingteapot]

Step by Step ค่อย ๆ รัก Ep 4

we know the drill …

- team building activities? say it ain't so

- RICH PEOPLE I swear to dogs

- OH this is how I know Ying's actress, she's Annie's mother in Mama Gogo!! the sporty outfit did it

- OH and is this Bruce??? Aoey from Lovely Writer??

- man, the gossip in this office. maybe I'm too neurodivergently inattentive to social stuff to get pulled into that sort of stuff normally but like. the most we got at the office was like "I hear the new transfer yells at clients" or "coworker X is getting married, please sign this card and if you like, we're collecting money for a gift." how do these people get ANY work done.

- oh this is NOT going well, yike

- NAN'S FACE JUST NOW she know's what's up (or suspects)

- oh wow Jeng's stare just now, I would've WITHERED if I were that kid

- okay, so he DOES have a condo as well as the house, okay. confusion from last ep somewhat lifted. rich people.

- Pat, when he said "make yourself at home" I'm pretty sure he meant "don't worry about using too much hot water," NOT "snoop around all the cabinets when you're meant to be getting cleaned up so you can go to your work thing"

- OH WOW wow he's cleaned up nicely. and WHAT A GROOM SEEING THE GROOM SHOT THAT JUST WAS, complete with the stairs, I am LOSING it.

- AND THEY MATCH oh my god I'm grinning so wide, incredible. I was not expecting this show to be cute? but it is SO CUTE.

- IT IS BRUCE I love him. Please let his character in this be well-rounded.

- uuurgh executive meddling, HATE IT. and also all of this is so tense. I'm on leave, I shouldn't be getting stressed about OTHER PEOPLE'S FICTIONAL WORK ISSUES

- first oishi and now tao kae noi, I'm getting homesick for BBS here

- how brainwashed by capitalism have I been to be like "9 to 5 doesn't seem that bad" -- WHAT THE FUCK, JENG.

- oh, okay, that's how he meant it. yeah, Pat needs to learn to stand up to P'Ying and P'Prem, but … ????

- unfortunately that's not what Pat heard, huh

- WHY ARE YOU INKING WITH A BRUSH, and one that thick at that??? I mean not to judge but-- okay no, I'm judging

- uh-oh

- Bad Buddy conditioned me to expect a Nivea Micellar Acne Free Cleanser ad here, gj on defying expectations, show

- so Put IS the ex. ok ok ok.

- oh wow oh wow oh yikes

- youtube subtitles created using mtl? urgh. mtl that was not sufficiently cleaned up?? BURN IT.

- URGH why is Ying there

- oh NO another misunderstanding (and WHY did he right to suspecting this was Pat tho)

- once again everything would be so much easier if these folks just talked to one another, but I guess the power dynamics at play here do give a real reason NOT to be frank, huh

- A CHILD. Of course it's a child.

- subtitle game deteriorating steadily, that was "DO call him 'brother' (as opposed to 'uncle')"

- oh no, poor Pat, being subjected to a double set of puppy dog eyes

- appreciation board! translation notes for stuff not in the subs over here

- YES Chot has a bf and they're cute together, THANK.

- I'm DYING oh fuck this is why personal and work phones need to separate devices

- Jeng is WAY more patient with Pat than I would've been with ANYONE in this situation. Man's got it bad.

- THAT BGM WAS IN BBS AS WELL

- oh, Ms Nadia is intrigued

- the enemy really IS seniority, yikes

- he's bad at karaoke and picks old-fashioned songs!!! I love that

- because he's WHIPPED is why (okay and also he thinks Pat genuinely has potential)

- oh RIGHT we still have the potential pregnancy plot here. right.

- oh my GOD we're talking about this now???????

- Pat, you say these things and don't think about what they sound about at all, huh

- all ominous but I bet it's just, like … Put

- annnnnnd here we are. Godddd Up looks so !!!!!!!! here

---

Okay but I feel ROBBED that we didn't get to see more of Pat and Jeng at the auction. Those suits!

[alligatorjesie]

That rant was sure something. Anyhow, Happy BHM. In honor of uplifting Black voices, here’s a video made by a black person breaking down that article you shared somewhere in that whatever it was, and how white feminism took over the entire tone to discredit poc https://youtu.be/avZ_NC4TrQA

Not sharing this to fuel reylo discourse or anything. This person’s video is pretty neutral on that. Just wanted to point out that your bias, racial or not, can still cloud your judgement to the point of gaslighting poc’s experiences. Yes it was indeed a pain to read. Mainly for women of color who are once again reminded how fandoms despise our presence

Alright, I'm gonna stop you right there because the shit you're saying is exactly the point I'm trying to get across here.

I watched the whole video and nowhere at any point does she 'disprove' anything in the article.

What I posted is still true, an alt-right user by the name of Crogman made a sock puppet account on twitter he then used to harass actors from Star Wars.

Nothing about that part of the article was a lie and I don't need to watch a 22 minute long rant from some rando on youtube to tell me the information in the article is actually correct.

The Author did her fucking homework.

Hell for the most part I totally agree with the youtuber on pretty much every point she makes. Being black in fandom has to suck complete and total cock and balls because not only are they dealing with harassment for simply being black in fandom but doubly so for many of them in the reylo fandom where they're often told they're racist for enjoying it.

That shit has to be quite wearing on the nerves. I'm not black and in fandom but I am female in fandom and if the amount of harassment I get, which is considerable, is double the amount a black person gets then they have every right to be absolutely fucking furious.

She is obviously upset about the line of 'Finnreys really seem to have it out for reylos' but I don't recall in the article where the author mentions that finnreys are overwhelmingly black, that's just a conclusion the youtuber jumped to all on her own.

The author of the article ain't wrong about the finnreys hating reylos tho.

For context, this was a screengrab of the 'anti-finnrey' tag on tumblr which you would think would be full of reylos who hate finnrey but instead is ironically full of finnreys calling reylos racist and the only reylos who showed up were me, commenting on how odd it is that so many anti reylos seem to be finnreys and that's kinda weird and one other reylo who adds the tag for blocking because they get harassed by so many finnreys.

I get it, some finnreys are upset that reylo became canon in Star Wars, but harassing members of the reylo fandom isn't going to fix the problem they're having.

The reylos aren't racist for noticing and enjoying a ship that was telegraphed very early on in the movies.

No one in the the star wars fandom is demanding you ship reylo.

Ship what the fuck you want mate.

Honestly considering the end of EP9 I don't fucking know how finnreys could still be upset at reylos.

The finnrey ship is just as likely to become canon as reylo was, which thus far is one instance where they held hands and a single PG smooch.

Rey is still very fucking alive and Ben is pretty fucking dead so who fucking knows, assuming Disney can gather the testicular fortitude to continue telling stories in the sequel trilogy timeline we could very likely get a finnrey scenario play out fully as canon but I'll tell you one thing for fucking sure;

I as a reylo ain't gonna go onto the finnrey tag and blast them for it.

I'm not going to stop finnreys from shipping Finn and Rey. I'm just asking them to get the fuck out of the reylo tag about it.

Just because some people on the internet preferred the romantic pairing of Ben and Rey vs Finn and Rey doesn't automatically mean they racist.

It's Just A Ship.

Shipping isn't activism.

Reylos actually seam to quite like Finn the character or else they wouldn't overwhelmingly write him into their fanfictions. Over Half of the reylos fics I have up on my computer right now have Finn as a character in them.

Someone who hates Finn wouldn't bother doing that.

Hell, I'm making a comic right now where some scenes have over 7 characters in a single panel and I can tell you right fucking now I would not put the effort into drawing the character if I disliked them.

The effort shows care.

What I have seen is a lot of finnreys who make posts zeroing in on reylos to harass them or worse yet, just simply tell them to go die

Shipping isn't activism.

I don't make these posts because I feel oppression for being a reylo. I make these posts because there are a lot of people on this website that say some pretty off the fucking wall bonkers shit about the people in this fandom and other fandoms with zero proof with only their misguided hateful opinions to go on and they've successfully done nothing else but make being in fandom For Everyone Of Every Race And Creed a living hell.

They could be black, they could be white, they could be asian, they could be russian, they could be blue aliens from fucking Uranus. I don't give a good goddamn. What I do care about is why the fuck they're trolling around tags and fandoms they hate to harass the members in it.

There are black reylos. There are white finnreys. Race ain't got fucking dick all to do with the ship and the harassment it sees.

Because

Shipping isn't activism.

You don't have to interact with fandoms you dislike.

Don't like reylo? Then don't go into reylo tags and be a fucking dick. Don't dedicate 7 years of your life harassing EVERYONE in this fandom because you dislike the ship for whatever the fuck reason.

If you're an Anti, and you've been an Anti harassing members of a fandom for over 7 years, you're the fucking problem in fandom, not the fandom.

We as members of any fandom seeing this level of vitriol so often need to stand up and tell these people they're not fucking welcome and they need to fucking leave. There is a lot of us compared to the antis and alt-right assholes who tell us day after day we can't enjoy the ship we like because it's gross to them.

Put them on full fucking blast. I want to know who the fuck these assholes are and everyone should be fully aware of who is causing shit in their respective fandoms.

That shit ain't activism, that's the most fucking basic decency you should be providing in your own fandom to make sure your fandom isn't a fucking cesspool of hate and harassment.



How is any part of that anti-black? How is standing up for yourself and your community racist?

People of color have everything to gain if we all start telling the people who harass members of any fandom to hit fucking bricks.

[smolincubusbf]

And cleaning has always been a very therapeutic thing for me. Helps me meditate and clear my mind. It's important to stay active stay busy and meditate. It's important for me to get outta my own head. You'll never catch me drowning in someone else's negativity ever again. Aka the women whose been he|| bent on making my life miserable and trying to push me away from those I love dearly and has made threats of using black magic on me and sending me harm. You'll never catch me actually letting her win. She can feel like she won but at the end of the day I'm good. I'm good I know my truth I know who I am and I know she's liar. That's the difference between us me and her. I'm always honest even if it hurts. I admit to my mistakes and apologize and I work everyday to become better. I don't like pointing fingers and arguing and I don't enjoy drama matter of fact I despise it., but I will defend myself. She's a liar who gets a thrill out of breaking hearts and using people and she doesn't even love herself she hates herself so much. And I'm ashamed I ever let her bring me down to her level. I'm ashamed to say I let her toy with my emotions and heart and got so close to almost pushing all my souls all my love all my heart away. And trustfully if I've lost it all I deserve it for letting her drag me down to that disgusting filthy low level of vibration she operates on.

The only thing I can do is focus on me keep leveling up learning and apologizing. I can't hate myself tho I can blame myself. Because at the end of the day it doesn't matter what she said what she did I'm the one who gave her the power by letting her get to my deepest insecurities. By letting her toy with my emotions play mind games I brought this pain on myself and it's never no one's fault but my own. I should know better I'm supposed to know better I'm supposed to be better.. I'm supposed to rise above her not stoopp down to her level. So what if I'm ugly so what if I'm scrawny insecure annoying so what if I'ma

b*+¢h so what if she says she's better prettier blah blah blah all the guys and girls want her. Who tf cares. I love myself I really do. And I respect myself way to much to keep playing her crazy checkers. I got more better things to do like work on my self love myself take care of myself and love my friends and family. And I don't mind being alone because in the end all I've ever really had was myself..

But I refuse to leave my souls and I refuse to leave the ones I love over her. And I'm not leaving I'll always be right here for you rather she likes it or not. Because quit truthfully I don't give a flying fu¢¢¢ what she thinks or says..she can be mad. I'm here to stay b*+¢h I'll kick down the door walk right in there like I own that place because I am divine. But you can't tell me to leave him and I never will so stay mad idc just know I ain't playing no games. And unlike her I know how to respect and I know how to give love true love and I respect others but I can't and will not ever respect or love her.

I'm just gonna keep on keeping on doing my chores at home and then focusing on my new job and focusing on my self care and my money. And guess what imma still be right here for you I said I wasn't leaving and I meant that. And that h03 can be mad all she wants. NEVER AGAIN WILL I LET ANYONE HOLD MY INSECURITIES OVER ME. Because listen you pos that's all you ever held over me all you ever had on me was my own insecurities and your ability to implant your toxic voice in my head. But all this time I had the power to not listen and I wish I realized that sooner. Wish I realized sooner that others words and feelings and perceptions do not define me. All this time I had the power within in me. I will no longer hand my powers over to others. I fully embrace my flaws and my short comings I fully take responsibility for my own toxic traits that stem from my insecurities. I'm removing myself from her wicked game of crazy checkers. I'm brave enough to face the storms and stand in the rain with a smile painted on my face. And I hold my hand out to you for you to take if you accept my apologies for all the pain I've allowed her to cause.

[twistedyapping]

my 2 favorite lyrics of all time

i almost started yapping on my ig story again and then caught myself so im here now-

i saw sumn earlier it was one of those "pick a song that starts with the first initial of ur name" and i got excited bc i got the song with my one of my favorite lyrics of ever in it- seen it all by korn

so here are my 2 favorite lyrics ur honor:

AND!

and what's interesting abt these two and what i caught myself abt to yap abt, is that they both come from very different eras in my life and therefore take on entirely new meanings to me- Which ya is what song lyrics are kinda supposed to do But this is just interesting 2 me-

so turbulent was the first one- heard that shit when i first listened to fandom and i was like Oh my god that is so fucking tight- and to this day it's one of my favorite parts in the song-

"you gave me hell on earth and said 'Work with it'" hit so hard for me though bc hi. my chiron is in aquarius. That's the short astrology answer but this ain't my astrology blog so what's the yapfest reason-

my entire life ur honor i have gone thru failed friendship after failed friendship, and somehow all of them managed to be with incredibly shitty people that quite literally gave me hell on earth and said work with it.

most, if not all of those friendships died off and crashed and burned along the way like an extremely elaborate dumpster fire- and it got to the point where i thought i would just never have real friends. i still think that, especially rn, but im workin thru it, it's fine 😵‍💫

the most heartbreaking part of that is the fact that since i was a wee lad i have always just wanted a group of friends to hang out with, a group that i felt secure in and nobody was out to get each other, nobody had a lack of respect for each other based on incredibly petty things, etc. always wanted that from the day i was born. And god looked me dead in the eyes and told me "LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO in what world."

perhaps this one in the future, idk, but that's where this lyric comes from. almost everyone (there being legitimately 1 exception) i have ever met has given me hell on earth and said to work with it.

now we get to the seen it all era of my life.

this is the era of my life that i am in currently where i feel like i have indeed seen it all- where all that hurt and betrayal and near-giving up on life experiences have culminated into just. life experience.

the era of my life where, using the life experience i have gained through all that absolute hell fire, i fix shit.

am i broken rn, not really, i used to be tho- But when i was broken i managed to fix myself enough to be Not broken so u can argue i guess But!!!

weird shit keeps happening in my life and i manage to keep it together now. i have done the most tedious soul searching work, i have forced myself into the depths of my mind that i really would've rathered to not go into but i did anyway for funsies, and i have figured shit out. i have found who i am, and understood that it will always change, that i am holding onto something that is never stagnant and my grip must constantly change to keep up with it, otherwise i will fall and die.

and with all of this, even though it sounds like im giving myself plenty rn, i never give myself enough credit. i been THRU IT and yet i am constantly like "Ya no it wasn't that bad tbh."

logically i can understand that i have been through a lot more than like. a born rich white guy has. But i have like no past life event permanence or something and i have to be actively thinking abt what ive gone thru in order to understand Oh ya that was. Not great.

but when im actively thinking abt it like rn, i understand that IVE SEEN IT ALL- STILL CANT TASTE ITTTTT- SMASHED TO THE WALL THAT BROUGHT ME TO MY KNEESSSS IVE DONE IT ALLLL FUCKED UP, WASTEDDDDDD- STILL IN MY BLOOD BUT NOW INSIDE IM SEENNNNN

now i am the broken one who fixed it. 💪💪💯🔥💪🔥💯🔥💪🔥💪💪🔥🔥💯💪 #stayhard 🔥💪🔥💯💪🔥🔥💯💪🔥💪🔥💪🔥💪🔥💯

anyway ya i needed to yap- that's abt it. see ya.

- 🌙 -

[babieken]

I haven't been very well tbh but I am trying to make things more bearable as much as I can 😂; uni is draining and today I finished my teaching practice for the first semester (thank god. it wasn't that bad but I am happy it's over. at least until the second semester but anyway), and since this is my last academic year of my bachelor's i am preparing to apply for master's in foreign universities and i feel so confused and scared about my future and what to do and yeah. just life, you know. thank you for asking 🥺💜💕

I know 😭 you start something then abandon it and then start writing something else, an existential crisis here, a nervous breakdown there (at least from my experience) 😂; i will read your works these days, thank you for the links 🥰🥰🥰

oooh, it looks so delicious 😍😍😍 i will definitely try it!!!

lee changsub, the loml (all his songs are!!!!!! but as expected from musicians like btob)🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰; i will listen to the others asap! i only watched the official mv for "youth" but i still haven't listened to the whole album :( (i am just more active on my other blog and tbh i am more into my seventeen and japanese bands brainrot era xdd).

thank you for the recipe, for the music recs. and for everything, niki. have a very lovely evening and rest of the week. take care 💜💜💜💕🥰😚💖💖💞💗💟🌌💝💖💞💕💟

oh gosh im just seeing this now ;;;;; my app has been so weird and glitchy the last couple of days...

oooffff I can relate to that... I wish you all the best on uni suff!!! that shit ain't easy... (even tho I kinda miss it now that its over)

writing is... an experience lsidjlskdj i can't say I've abandoned a lot of work (no abandoned fic in my published work) maybe 3 or 4 but yeah the mental breakdown is 100% true ldjfldfj

hehe i hope you like them!! let me know how u like Kihyun's bsides!!! also that's totally valid!!!

[that1randomname]

(ALSO i UPDATE MI DESCRIPTION EACH TIME i CHANGE MY TITLE)

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm

Hello- yes hello there- welcome to mi blog, mi main tag(which are mostly save reblogs, but is also for original posts) is "æ"

Mi queue tag on the other hand is "œ"! It is explained in this post!

Don't forget to read the description because yes

(past mi worked hard on it)

i prefer to use they/them!

You can call mi with any nickname you want as long as i am okay with it!1!! i go by Skrunkly on discord tho!!

This post might change in da future because u know!1!1!! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Most of mi old art on this blog is also tagged with æ

Jsab side blog where i post and reblog jsab stuff is @jsab-reblogs

Sky cotl side blog where i mainly post and reblog sky cotl stuff is @rns-skyblog

i also have an ao3 account(shared with mi brother), but i mostly just use it to read stuff lol :/ (it's ToastyLycan btw)

@ask-the-dirt-block which is a Minecraft oc ask blog about.,.,,. A (sapient) dirt block of course- (edit. Changed this, this is no longer dead[sort of], but i can say it's no longer a character askblog, people can send asks about mi minecraft ocs here instead)

Current pfp is this funky guy

due to unforeseen circumstances, i cannot change mi pfp, On The Run is eternal

Edited this again to add mi sona ref again(which is at the bottom)

⚠️⚠️ WARNING ⚠️⚠️ BIG BLOCK OF TEXT AT THE VERY BOTTOM BECUASE i DIDN'T WANT TO LOOSE MI OLD DESCRIPTION BUT i STILL WANTED TO CHANGE IT SO i PUT IT UNDER AT THE VERY BOTTOM OF THIS POST

--------------

i ALSO HAVE TWO ASKBLOGS BTW-(which i never work on anymore sadly- (cuz of procrastination))

And then i have @alone-times-askblog which is an ask blog about mi oc, Max, who is stuck in a timeloop alone in his house(ps. It is 4/4/2022 today as i edit this, i might make lore posts instead of running it like an askblog)

This one is actually active but i don't wanna directily show it but mi deltarune SCC side blog(that's mostly an au/hc based one) is never mind its dead too @pinoy-scc-lets-goooooooo

Idk how to run askblogs, lol, after answering an ask and then getting more i jus dip and make a run for it-

æ-

mi daily post limit

tion

onk

/[ÓwÒ]\

Uses They/them(but any would do)

Call me Lupe, Toast, RN anything you want to i guess, as long as u ask mi first

multifandom

mostly jsab, other posts and mi original stuff

/[UwU]\

i like bread(and other stuff also) and do art

i would like to chit chat and rps but i ain't great at it

i has habit of infodumping and rambling about headcanons once asked so beware-

i also like reading infodumps and headcanons too-

this blog is mostly full of reblogs tho---

ÒwÓ

other info:

-i am the kind of person that would say "Suck Ass" to themselves and laugh at themself for 15 seconds straight

-i have many blogs you guys prob don't know about

-yellow ironically is mi least favorite color becuz most of mi favorite fruits(derogatory) are color yellow, mi favorite hoodie is yellow, mi favorite blanket is yellow!!!

-i use mi instead of me and my and use lowercase i instead of I to describe miself

-POINTING OUT THAT i SWEAR!!!

-PLS TELL MI TO TAG STUFF THAT MAY TRIGGER YOU!!!!

-AND ALSO SORRY FOR TRIGGERING YOU IF i FORGOT TO TAG

[ransprang]

Yo you still doing matchups 👀 ?

If so, could i get a naruto matchup? (Only a character out of the konoha 12 tho? If thats ok :D)

I'm an INFP, my zodiac is taurus, and my pronouns are she/her. My favourite colour is purple, and my favourite drink is water (it surprises me too, i know lol!)

I really love (visual) art. I'm always in my room painting and drawing. I also love to figure skate as a form of exercise and a fun activity. I get pretty good grades in school, and I like to stay inside.

The weather that makes me the happiest is when it's raining/a storm/cloudy. It's so welcoming/calming to me, and afterwards, there's a chance you'll see a rainbow! (I also prefer night/dusk over any time of day. I love the stars!)

I also have a thing for fantasy. Fantasy genre media? Give it here, bestie. Faeries? Yes please. Elven folk? Yep yep. Complex magic systems. I'm all for it!

I daydream about a lot of things and I'm a HUGE overachiever. I do procrastinate, which kinda sucks, but oh well!

N e ways, i think this is a good enough glimpse of who I am. If you aren't taking requests anymore just ignore this lolol <3

Your Naruto match up is..........Shikamaru!!

Both you and Shikamaru are the lazy but smart types! You'd be able to relate on life philosphies to not rush things and just relax and enjoy the moment.

You could have cute picnics on cloudy days where you could relax together napping on rooftops or parks and enjoying the weather. You could brush your hand through his hair, while he lies on your lap and contemplate about how to fix that receding hairline of his.

When the weather ain't great Shikamaru would be down to vibe inside too, and enjoy challenging you to games of Shogi to test your intellect

You could also discuss different high fantasy concepts and magic systems and Shikamaru with that big brain would be great for bouncing off ideas and imagining complicated hypotheticals

You and Shikamaru could be hydro homies together. Slacking off from work is thirsty business so whenever you see him you can remind him to stay hydrated!

your elves,

admins san & sar

[askjoshuafreeman]

transcript.file//jfreeman_codingb//convo

[Emergency Program Active]

AdminJF: Heya B-)

CodingB: ...? Allen? Where's Joshua?

AdminJF: He's still asleep, just snoozin away.

CodingB: Still a-... Isn't it... late? Why are you up.

AdminJF: Had a nightmare

AdminJF: Couldn't get back to sleep

AdminJF: Figured a lil chatting with ya could do me some good.

CodingB: ... With... me?

CodingB: Wait a moment...

CodingB: Communications are offline... I didn't think that was possible...

AdminJF: Yeaaa, boy like me's fulla tricks B-)

AdminJF: 'sides, don't think chattin with 'em would help out. They're... kinda chaotic.

CodingB: Unlike you, pizza box tearer?

AdminJF: Ey ey, I'm the FUN kinda chaotic! Those guys... eh... I know Josh trusts them. No surprise there. I mean, apart from you, they're the only peeps who MIGHT help him out... I'm still on the fence about them tho.

CodingB: I see.

CodingB: May I ask... what your nightmare was about? I do not know exactly how dreams work, but talking about what ever is making you upset tends to help.

AdminJF: Are you sure? It's... kinda dumb.

CodingB: I am all ears! And eyes! You have my full attention!

AdminJF: Right, well

AdminJF: where tf do I start...

AdminJF: I was... running in this like, industrial... plant of some kind? Like, running from something that I couldn't see? Like, that went on for a while, that I was just running and trying not to trip or crash into anything.

AdminJF: So at some point, I end up at this biiig chain link fence, like, the kind they put up in big facilities, I think. Anyways, I start climbing the thing, only to get pried off and thrown on my ass by, I guess whoever was chasing me??

AdminJF: But like, I look up at the guy, and I still can't really "see" him. Could say they looked like a shadow, but even that doesn't cover it really. That's around where I woke up and just. I dunno. Woke up about an hour ago and I've been too anxious to head back to sleep...

CodingB: ... I can't say I blame you exactly. An event like that, dream or not, would stress anyone, I'm certain. Until you've calmed down sufficiently, I don't think sleep will be possible...

AdminJF: Yeah, well, all the more reason to chat, right?

CodingB: I suppose so. Had you any topics in mind?

AdminJF: Oh Yea yea

AdminJF: ... No. I really don't.

CodingB: Ah. Then... could I ask you something?

AdminJF: Shoot.

CodingB: ... What is it like out there? Past the screen, I mean. Out in the sun. Out in the grass...

AdminJF: Ah shit... I'm really the wrong dude to ask but uh

AdminJF: It's... fine? No no uh... It... gives you something to do. Sun can get pretty hot down here but it's a helluva lot better than being cold in like, the snow and shit. Josh's been complaining that it's getting colder when... it hasn't? Like, I would know, I'm p sensitive to temperature shifts yo, but it's just been as hot as ever.

AdminJF: Uh, back on topic

AdminJF: Grass is... pretty soft, gives off a nice smell after it's cut. Uh... worms live in the dirt grass grows in...

CodingB: Oh, worms?

AdminJF: Yea, not like computer worms, but uh, little... long slimey things. They eat dirt and filter out the bad stuff so the ground stays healthy and all that.

AdminJF: Birds and lizards and fish like to eat them but I wouldn't recommend it.

CodingB:

CodingB: Allen, did you-

AdminJF: No!

AdminJF: Classmate back in primary did tho

AdminJF: Dared himself to cuz there was a bunch out after it rained and then uh

AdminJF: Y'know what, let's talk about something else.

CodingB:

CodingB: Well, um, do you think I'll ever get to see out there?

CodingB: Like, leave the device and go outside?

AdminJF: Knowing Joshua? Without a doubt. He's prob already working on the blueprints.

CodingB: ... Really?

AdminJF: Pfft, of course! You've met the guy! He's too kindhearted for his own good. J will stop at nothing to help others, even at his own detriment. I mean, case in point: He's friends with me.

CodingB: ... What's wrong with being friends with you?

AdminJF: Ha!

AdminJF: Ah...

AdminJF: Look, I... back when we first met, Josh saw this hungry, pale as death, angry and antisocial freak around his age and, instead of avoiding him like everyone else, sat down right next to him and offered half of his lunch.

AdminJF: I've been through 5 different fosters since he and I first met, CB. Five houses that all took me in and gave me the boot before I could even get comfortable. Within that time, the only other friends I've made apart from him are Clera and Tiff, and the only reason Tiff's our friend is because she and Cler started dating months ago.

AdminJF: I mean, hell, just yesterday, I

AdminJF: shit

CodingB: ?

AdminJF: ... Can you... keep a secret, CB?

CodingB: My lips are sealed, Allen. Is everything alright?

AdminJF: ... I... I lied to Josh, about me running off. About how my folks were mad and I needed to get away from the house for a bit.

AdminJF: The truth is that they... They kicked me out.

CodingB: They?? What!?

AdminJF: Yesterday past-noon, few hours after lunch, not-pops plopped my schoolbag on me, told me to shove as much of my shit in it as I could, and just told me to "get lost". Figured he was joking and I just stared at him cuz, like, why the hell would I think he was serious? But, looking at his face...

AdminJF: So then I said "Let me pack my suitcases while you call the agency" cuz that's how it normally went when my Fosters got sick of me, but mfer pulls me up and goes all "We want you out of here NOW" and tells me that I have ten minutes to fill my bag.

AdminJF: ... And he, uh, really did mean 10 minutes. They weren't lying about that part...

CodingB: Oh my god... That's horrible. They do not deserve to call themselves "parents" of any kind! Are you hurt? Are you okay?

AdminJF: I

AdminJF: I don't know why shit like this still shocks me, y'know? I should be used to it all, and I am for the most part but...

AdminJF: I guess a part of me was thinking that... Things were going well! Things were going better than any of the other families I'd been in! I was with them for almost a full year, like, a month away from it even, and sure, I might've been a bit of an ass sometimes, but they...

AdminJF: Tensions were kinda mounting for the past month or so, I guess, but I didn't notice it until this bs happened. Now most of my shit is in a home I'm not welcome in anymore, the agency probably won't be checking in for another month or so, and I have no goddamn idea what I'll do if Mrs. Freeman comes back and tells me I can't stay here. I'm completely shit outta luck.

CodingB: Allen, I'm so sorry...

CodingB: ... I'm sure... Josh and his mother, they won't leave you on your own like that. You said yourself that Josh is very very kind, for better or for worse. It doesn't matter what you might think about yourself, Allen, you do not deserve to be hurt in any way.

AdminJF:

AdminJF: Christ I spilled my guts like hell

AdminJF: Just one of those fucking

AdminJF: "3am! Time to vent!"

CodingB: Allen, please.

AdminJF: Maybe I could try going back to sleep now...

CodingB: Allen, wait!

CodingB: I. Before you go, please, I

CodingB: Maybe... could you keep a secret of mine too?

AdminJF:

AdminJF: Eh, it's only fair, fine. Go right on ahead.

CodingB: Alright! Alright!

CodingB: I... I'm terrified. Of failing Joshua.

CodingB: Of ending up trapped in this computer for who knows how many more years.

CodingB: Of finally getting out, and... and it all being worse than being trapped in here.

CodingB: Heck, I'm terrified at the thought of it being everything I could've ever dreamed of, so much so that I never want to return to the computer. I... I wouldn't be helpful anymore if that happened...

CodingB: Jeez... am I even helpful where I am now? Apart from keeping the firewall up, what good have I really done to help Joshua or his father?

CodingB: I cannot express to Joshua how... how deeply frightened I am at the thought of him never coming back. That thought haunts my every waking hour when he is not here, and I don't know how to get it to stop. It makes me feel as though I'll crash my entire programming and I hate it so much.

AdminJF: Damn... CB, you know, even just keeping a firewall up is a helluva task all on its own, and it's doing a crapton of good, too. Files are still up and the computer isn't a smouldering pile of viruses now is it?

AdminJF: Besides, even without all of that, you've still helped Josh, like, endlessly. You've supported him a bunch and I know for a fact that you've helped him to feel better about this whole ordeal. Like, he chats about you for HOURS the second you come up in a convo, yo. The minute he gets the chance to, I know he's gonna get you out of there, and, knowing your ingenuity, you're gonna find thousands o' ways to help out.

AdminJF: But... I ain't gonna lie and tell you those feelings are gonna go away. Not on their own. Needs time and reassurance. Until all of this is over and done with and even maybe a good few years afterwards, you're probably gonna still have that fear.

CodingB: Ah... I see... I don't suppose it is normal though, is it?

AdminJF: Nah. I know that first-hand... But hey, we've both made it this far despite all the bullshit we've been through, right? World's not gonna get ridda us that easily.

CodingB: ... Even with the terror I feel, am I still brave enough to face the world?

AdminJF: I'd say the world oughta learn to start being afraid of you, cuz there's nothin' braver than continuing to live even when you're scared to death.

CodingB: ... Thank you. Thank you so very much.

AdminJF: Heh, all in a day... night's work...

AdminJF: Think the both of us could use some rest. Quiet our minds fo' a bit.

CodingB: Heh, agreed... See you tomorrow in that case. Er, well, today. At a later hour.

AdminJF: Yeaaa, see ya then, CBot. Sleep well.

CodingB: You too! May your dreams be filled with nothing scary!

[Emergency Program Inactive]

ampd.program deactivated. Returning to error log...

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Janis

Grace: OMG you and the new boy! 💘🙌 Grace: love that for you babes Janis: lol thanks Grace: 😂😂 k yeah you're busy Grace: I will need that goss tho Janis: dumb and dumber will make up their own to fill in the blanks, I know Grace: LOL Grace: obvs but like Janis: you want the actual truth to spread, yeah Janis: you're alright, soz you won't get that cred Grace: UM rude I want the truth to know Grace: You're MY sister, hello Janis: 👌👌 Janis: hey Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: ugh just say he's boring whatever Grace: I know the feeling Janis: leave the games to your mates, and the jumping to the wrong conclusions, yeah, we ain't playing that shit Janis: why would I bother if he was, like every other cunt here Grace: Duh I'm only here cos of Leon Grace: so unbothered too Janis: 'course you are Grace: I unbae-d him hun, obvs am Janis: yeah, so you're here just for the fun Janis: cool Grace: I'm here to show him what he's missing so yeah Janis: 'cos you 'unbae-d' him Janis: defs the actions of someone very unbothered and not a girl who got dumped and is seeing how fast he gets a new bitch, and who Janis: count me as not it, yeah 👍 Grace: not even! I know he's seeing Kaya and like I said, idc Janis: well then, not showing him nothing then, he don't miss you Grace: OMG this is so yesterday Grace: here for your 😍 not my 🙄 Janis: are we? Janis: I'm here to pass PE Grace: not what the new boy's here for tho Janis: yeah, not in my class Grace: I know Grace: he takes art Janis: lol why do you know that Janis: you don't Grace: why DON'T you know that? Grace: 🔎👀 Janis: not out here doing a survey Grace: I hope not Grace: keep it sexy honey Janis: sexy Janis: you sound like a nan Janis: a weird one, at that Grace: 🤞 you don't look like one Grace: what ARE you even wearing rn OMG Janis: yeah, 'cos I'm the one that thinks a cardigan is stylish Janis: my pjs? Grace: 😱😱😱😱 Grace: YOU'RE JOKING Janis: it's not particularly funny but Janis: knee slap away Grace: I literally can't help you Grace: 🙏 bitch Janis: everyone's ready for bed, what are you chatting Janis: I wasn't getting dressed again Grace: not everyone's ready to bed a hot boy tho Grace: I can't even with you Janis: if we were gonna fuck he'd see even less so Janis: don't think he's any more bothered than I am Grace: That's SO not the point Janis: are you gonna tell me Janis: cba to guess, like Grace: we do not have time for a masterclass! Grace: 🙏 you're right babes Janis: considering I'm here, I clearly am Grace: unless he's literally inside you rn in which case EW don't chat to me Grace: you don't know that for sure Janis: why would you even say that Janis: you're twisted Grace: Oh please Grace: I'm a nan, UM okay Janis: yeah, and I'm not interested in the incest you're peddling, thanks Grace: why would YOU even say that Grace: so gross Janis: you brought it up Janis: you think you'd be better at gaslighting by now Janis: tell your boyfriends to up their game Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: tell your boyfriend you don't always do 0 effort, he might be new enough to fall for it Janis: you get one that stays longer than the 3 minutes it takes him to pump and dump, I'll listen to your 'advice' Grace: you get one EVER & maybe I'll take it Janis: yeah, egg on my face for not letting every lad that wants to inside Janis: lmao 🥴🥴🥴 queen of romance as if you've ever had that either Grace: I've turned down so many lads THANK YOU Janis: 😂😂😂 Grace: 👌👌👌 👋 Janis: k yeah you're busy Janis: turning away all those elligible bacherlors will take all of two minutes of you staring at yourself delusional in the mirror, like Janis: nighttime routine! Grace: You're such a bitch Janis: Yeah, you too Grace: Literally where?? Janis: we do not have time to go through all those receipts! Janis: honey Grace: You don't Janis: 💔 Grace: sure Janis: Go talk to Holly and Jessica, they'll make you feel better Grace: I'm doing my night time routine, babes Grace: duh Janis: besties who cry together, no Janis: that's your whole schtick, they'll be inconsolable by now Grace: I'm not crying off a £35 mask Grace: you'll all have to get over it Janis: how effective it is on you, you may as well use it on them instead Janis: revenge acne, very cute Grace: I'm so sorry that my skin needs like a £100 one, okay? OMG Janis: yeah well, I appreciate you realise how tough it is on me Janis: tah babes Grace: leave me alone Janis: I have Janis: 💔 remember Grace: fine, go away Janis: find a spare room and make that feasible Grace: don't even bring him here Grace: I s2g Janis: it's alright, he don't fancy you Janis: the mask won't shatter the illusion, like Grace: Exactly, so just don't, okay? Janis: I'm not going to, Christ Grace: 👌 Janis: Really, Grace, what the fuck Grace: ???!! Janis: like I'm gonna fuck anyone when you're in the room Grace: like that's what I said or meant Janis: yeah, so as per, you can have your friends in whenever Janis: gotcha Grace: that's different Grace: my friends aren't boys Janis: wouldn't make a difference to you Grace: OMG I'm literally saying it does Janis: and it's bullshit Grace: sure Janis: you know it is Grace: no I don't Janis: you want an example of how much of a bitch you are, case in point Janis: my friends were never good enough, male or female Janis: yet we all have to put up with yours every weekend Grace: You don't have friends for me to judge Grace: if I was even bothered which I'm obvs not Janis: Convincing as it was first time 'round Grace: UGH Grace: I'm happy for you but I don't need to extend that to a welcome party in our room like Janis: Whatever Janis: later then Grace: Bye Grace: Are you back in for good? Janis: Probably Grace: I'll get the light then Janis: 👍 Janis: I would've found my way alright, like Grace: sure but I'm not breaking my neck thanks Janis: from the bottom bunk? Janis: impressive Grace: the amount I overpacked is Grace: cannot move Janis: note the 'over' there is negative, not positive Grace: oh great 💘😘 hasn't put you in a better mood Janis: you're the one here copping an attitude 'cos I won't enable your problem, but go off Grace: if you wanna invent problems for me to have, you go off hun Janis: the 'you've got enough' comes too easy Janis: make me work for it Grace: & you're never too busy, yeah? Grace: poor boy 💔 Janis: you see him here Janis: specifically not, on your orders 'cos you out here looking like shrek Grace: he just left you, give him at least one sec of thought like Grace: so rude Janis: capable of having more than one at a time, sweetheart Janis: god bless Grace: LOL Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: no use, won't be able to spot your brain like that Grace: Thanks for the advice Grace: I was gonna say it for actually doing what I asked but you're right back to being a bitch again so 🤷 Janis: 'cos the definition is famously 'do everything I say or you're a cunt' Janis: you'll never be Mia, babes Janis: not got that kinda clout over them, let alone me Grace: OMG stop Janis: 'cos you know it's true Janis: no bigger bitch than your bestie Grace: You can take the title if you want it babes Janis: your bestie? Janis: no tah Grace: the biggest bitch Janis: same difference Janis: keep up Grace: You don't even know her Janis: we ALL know her 🙄 Grace: She can be a lot, UM HELLO, so can I Janis: 😱 NO Janis: fucking hell Janis: what a revelation, call the press Grace: The rumor mill is focused elsewhere rn Grace: 💔 obvs Janis: I know Janis: get a nude 'leaked' like your fat friend Janis: worked for all of ten seconds Grace: if you want me to kms sure Janis: 🤷 Grace: won't call the press on that revelation hun Janis: I wouldn't Janis: bit embarrassing Janis: not all publicity is good publicity Grace: you'd know I guess Janis: 😂 you're actually jealous Janis: that's funny Grace: of what? Grace: you losing your virginity finally Janis: there's nothing sadder than sounding like a rode hard put away wet slag full of regret at 15, for starters Janis: we get it, you've never had an orgasm or a 'man' that weren't a piece of shit, get a vibrator and put down the cigs, Shirley Janis: and secondly, not got time for the list when you know perfectly well what Grace: & there's nothing more tragically desperate than getting with that boy cos he doesn't know anything about you Grace: he'll find out Janis: and everyone knows everything about you Janis: rather, they could, if they were interested to ever look Janis: it's gotta be hard being 10th most interesting, even Junior had some closeted appeal Janis: 💔 Grace: okay Jan, you're so mysterious Grace: good luck working that angle for another 15 years babes Janis: good luck being a bleeding heart for that long Janis: interest in the sob story ran dry long before your eyes have ever Janis: how infuriating, I don't want it, actively try to get rid of it, and I still get more than you Janis: gutted for you, truly Grace: sure Janis: I know, sympathy ain't what you want Janis: but it's all that's on offer for you so chow down, babe Grace: 😂😂 you think you know me like that Janis: everyone does, remember Janis: you think you get it both ways Janis: take that whilst you can 'cos it's coming up for 5 years and truly, the dead sister bit is dead Janis: Kiera O' Malley's dad died so it's #overparty sweetie Grace: You're twisted Janis: no shit Janis: get them to get you a therapist, all the 👂👀 you can buy Grace: Why would I go when I can send you in with all the issues you've invented for me Grace: hmu with the highlights hun Janis: Christ, don't pretend you don't know Janis: you want that angle Janis: to be this pathetic AND unaware of it Janis: self-awareness is your only shot at some dignity at this point Grace: I know all my angles thanks Janis: it's super funny when you pretend to be a full-time bimbo Janis: not tired at all Grace: IKR 🙌 Janis: kinda sad Janis: do you ACTUALLY think they'd rather be friend with the OTT 'happy' bitch, genuinely? Like you HAVE to know all your 'friends' are waiting for is the inevitable meltdown when you fall apart so they can see what earrings they can scavenge from your carcass Janis: livetweeting how #problematic you are and finally saying how little they fucked with you, anyways, but all the best in life, nothing but love, girl 😘 Grace: Oh honey, I'm 100% not that bitch EVER Grace: can't you spy the dynamic from your moral high ground? awks Janis: oh honey, just 'cos they're keeping the runt around to fatten up, does not mean you're not next on the spit Janis: sadder than I thought Janis: you'll actually be sad when it happens, fuck me Grace: flattered to be called out as that thin tbh Janis: ha, eating disorder gang got jokes Janis: burns calories Janis: not AS much as crying though so crack on Grace: Mhm so does hooking up, so you'll have a way into the squad now hooray Janis: not the way y'all do it, pillow princess Grace: you've never seen the way I do it Grace: my tapes are yet to be leaked Janis: as if they're filming Janis: darling if you were any good, you'd get callbacks, not pied off before a camping trip Janis: but god bless with that #metoo spirit Grace: everyone's ALWAYS filming, check your socials Grace: & I dumped him so 👏 for bringing that fake news back Janis: nah, you didn't Janis: you should get dumpee tatted right under your doormat forehead tat Janis: let 'em know just how much they can get away with Janis: so hot Grace: were you there lurking or are you finally over that now? Janis: lol i'm the one with the obsessive personality Janis: now you're just being silly Janis: check your socials Janis: you've not copped that totally 'anon' post with all the tea only a REAL bestie SHOULD know? 🤔 Grace: I came here so obvs I am ridiculous yeah Janis: no shit Janis: you should be home, smacking her in the face Janis: but you've chased after a lad who was 3 fingers deep in another silly bitch at brekkie Janis: that's fun for you, yeah? Grace: 🥊 is more of a look you like to wear Grace: but sure Janis: sort it out Janis: it's not bad enough you let anyone with a dick in this town make a mug of you, you have to let her as well Grace: I didn't come here for Leon Grace: he wishes Janis: This is why I can't do this with you Janis: he doesn't and you did Janis: crying otherwise helps your case none Janis: actually do something about it if you don't like the narrative Grace: That is literally what I'm doing Grace: if I stayed home it would look like I was crying over him Janis: well right now you just look like you're stalking him Janis: maybe if you tried with the activities, like Grace: ugh that's easy for you to say Grace: it'd look really good when I tried & still can't do it Grace: Get a clue OMG Janis: I ain't saying become Bear Grylls Janis: just have a laugh, with the other girls on this trip that ain't too scared to look anything less than their knock-off idea of 'perfect' Grace: as if Grace: the other girls on this trip don't wanna be my besties Grace: 🔪 are out Janis: 🙄 Janis: yeah and that helps the lads fuck all of you over Janis: just build a fucking raft together, don't need to braid each other's pubes and make friendship bracelets on the last day Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: no bitch fucks with me, I ain't getting pushed into the lake Grace: I'm not you Grace: 💔 obvs Janis: yeah, use some of that scathing attitude on the people who need to hear it Janis: why can you be a total bitch to me but you'll 😢 and hold back on every other cunt who actually wants to see you fail Grace: you're my sister Janis: don't remind us, yeah Grace: never Grace: it's bad enough we're sharing a room rn what am I 9? Janis: not my fault your bestie can't fart without breaking a bone Janis: if I could share with anyone else, obvs 💔 Grace: it's not my fault either Grace: anything she does Janis: wasn't about to say you were the instigator of the starvation army Grace: Duh Grace: not looking like this I'm not Janis: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: her dedication to ending up in the ground with all her #thinspiration goals is not aspirational Grace: & neither is this Janis: soz, you wanna truffle shuffle louder, I didn't catch the scope of your GINORMOUS wobbling jelly rolls from here Janis: shut up Grace: you've literally said worse to me Janis: and? Grace: don't tell me to shut up Grace: so rude Janis: you know I ain't here to listen to you chat utter shite Grace: I just said, it isn't & so have you before Janis: That's your problem Janis: getting your esteem from people who hate you Janis: yourself included, naturally Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: if that were true Leon wouldn't be my ex Grace: go tell him to shut up if you're so concerned Janis: if it weren't true, you wouldn't have fucked with him in the first place Janis: or include him on the list, he's a prime twat Grace: We get new boys literally never & you 💍 him when we did Janis: don't be dramatic Janis: you go for the wrong ones to begin with Janis: correction, they go for you and you don't tell 'em to fuck off Grace: Oh okay yeah I'll date the 🤓 Janis: Probably better than getting piped n pied by the fuckboys Janis: seriously, how many have you lot got in common, it's grim Grace: not if I don't understand half the words they say Grace: I've got you to make me feel stupid Grace: & the others, 10th most interesting, right? 🏆 Janis: you want to be stupid Janis: or at least be seen as, pretend you are like that makes all this shit okay somehow Janis: who am I to deny you that, bimbo? Grace: 😂😂 you don't know what I want Janis: neither do you, chuckles Janis: it's a shit show Grace: Exactly Grace: but I know what I don't want & it's 🤓 thanks Janis: like there's two choices Janis: you don't live in an american teen drama, much as you make-believe it Grace: like I'm spoilt for any Janis: stop being so judgemental Janis: not gonna do you any favours Janis: if I need to tell you that, when I go out of my way to do it, you've got a problem Grace: neither is running some kind of virgin training school Grace: but sure Janis: 🙄🙄🙄 alright Grace Janis: continue to cry about how shit your friends are, how shit the boys who fuck you are, whilst only letting the worst people into your life Grace: OMG I'm just saying everyone already thinks I'm gonna take my clothes off every time I upload Grace: I don't need predatory status against 🤓 Janis: because I'm saying fuck every nerd in school without prejudice Janis: I'm saying there's plenty of alright lads who would like you that you won't give the time of day right now Grace: bitch where?? Grace: an alright lad likes YOU not me Janis: so all boys are shit Janis: like all friends bitch behind each other's backs Janis: YOU'RE settling because you don't reckon you could do any better, that no one decent would fuck with you, admit that 'cos blaming the world ain't gonna change the world you're surrounding yourself with Grace: SO DRAMATIC Grace: I know I can't, I've been sat down here saying it literally the length of this convo Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: I've said it, you have, Leon has, the boy before him has Janis: Nah, you won't try Janis: you're scared everyone's right Janis: get some fucking ambition and get out of this town or you're gonna end up like the rest of them Janis: knocked up by some prick from 'round here and that's all you've got Grace: cos this town is the problem Grace: as if Janis: death tolls high for a reason, baby Janis: Carly, Eds, they were trying to escape too fucking late and they only way they could Janis: at least they got out, everyone sensible has Janis: Ma, Rio, they're fucking stuck for life Grace: they were trying to escape people, things, whatever Grace: she was no happier anywhere else we lived Janis: we were babies, you don't remember that Janis: that's the bullshit they've fed you 'cos it's all that keeps them from doing themselves in with the guilt Grace: okay Janis: anyway, semantics, if you want it that way, girl Janis: it's this family we all want out of Grace: but we can't Janis: yeah, we can Janis: where's Billie, where's Junior, Nancy Janis: like I said, anyone with sense jumped ship there and then Grace: that's away not out, nobody gets to be out Janis: they're not coming back Janis: they're as out as she is Grace: no they're not Janis: get a clue and check out 'til we can actually go too Grace: check their socials then check hers Grace: she's the only one who died Janis: worse than dead Janis: least you can all pretend she didn't wanna go, yeah Janis: she was coming back Janis: they're actively choosing to stay the fuck away, every day, and they're right Grace: She was, Janis Grace: cope with that Janis: she's dead anyway, cope with that Janis: all the family love in the world ain't saved none of us, her included Grace: It's not me hiding behind her Janis: it's not hiding when you don't want to be found Janis: and you can babble on about what an open book you are but you're the biggest fake of them all Janis: at least da flaked all those times he couldn't hack it, at least ma's a cheat who's fucked over everyone she 'loves', at least Rio is a whore who's fucking her own family to boot Janis: they talk a big game on the happy family, but their actions say otherwise Janis: you're just, here Janis: hoping we all get it back, like it was ever good Grace: #fakeittilyoumakeit babes Grace: I'm 15 where do you want me to go? In Billie's footsteps cos LOL that modelling career is a no Janis: you miss the part where I said check out 'til it's over Janis: let it go, Grace, let everyone go, because they're gone Grace: I'm still waiting for you to tell me how Janis: It ain't hard Janis: they might not be as forthcoming giving you reasons to hate them as I am Janis: but it's not taxing to find 'em Janis: bubbling under the surface, barely Grace: I hate you but we're still having this chat Janis: it's all perfunctory Grace: like I know what that means Janis: Truer words Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 okay Janis: Night Grace: 👋 Janis: [Assault death drop] Janis: 💀 yet? Grace: about to kms Janis: 🙌 Janis: you really took our little talk to heart Grace: literally nothing to do with you but 👌 Janis: sure it is Janis: you think you're getting solo interest rn? Janis: I'll tell 'em it's gone from a sickbed to a deathbed, see if they go for it Grace: UM I don't want it thanks Grace: I can die of shame away from the 👀🍿 Janis: Bollocks 😂 Janis: it's the most fun you've had all trip Grace: You said do activities! This is so your fault Janis: See, you took multiple chats to heart, awh Janis: you're not even hurt, just your ego Grace: OMG I am not in the mood Grace: go away Janis: damn, lanky and large not fluff your pillow just right Janis: can't get the staff, babe Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: you know what's wrong you were LITERALLY there Janis: yeah, you eat shit, the boy laughed Janis: an amusing scene but not one you need to hide in the sickbay for Grace: STOP Janis: you're so self-involved, take a look around, baby, plenty people making mugs of themselves, it's half the point Janis: Kerri-Ann gave herself the biggest wedgie on the aerial course Janis: probably picking that out still today Grace: okay that was funny Grace: but just Janis: I get it, it's not funny when it's you, yeah Janis: better to laugh it off though than be a primadonna or that'll be your camp moniker by the end of this and your ladies in waiting will have to kms too Grace: I can't now Janis: well, I'll tell you when it's safe to come out Janis: when the fat lad takes a tumble or whatever else is the laugh of the minute Grace: I picked him to be my partner so this wouldn't happen! 😠😠😠 Grace: boys are so unreliable like Janis: they're not famed for their use of words, give you that Janis: it was an accident, like Janis: no wink wink nudge nudge let's let the bitch fall was happening Janis: the teachers aren't that useless, quite Grace: thank god Grace: I'd have to kill him before myself & my wrist hurts so like no Janis: you started slicing already Janis: hit up the samaritans this ain't my scene Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: come on, that was funny too Grace: no Janis: spoilsport Grace: You still won, get over it Janis: Obviously Janis: who else would Grace: not Leon that's for sure Grace: that girl makes me look athletic Janis: 😂 Grace: she's not even the one he's telling people he dumped me for Grace: but I'm a slag, okay Janis: ladies, ladies Janis: you're BOTH slags Grace: LOL Grace: I'm gonna get dad to pick me up Grace: give it my best 💜 por favor, venha me resgatar, pai 💜 Janis: don't be dumb Janis: you'll look like more of a baby than you already do Grace: &? Janis: you're supposed dying of shame in there Janis: it's counterproductive Janis: get up and get over it, minimal damage Grace: like you care Janis: Obviously not Janis: but you apparently do, so much Janis: so think on Grace: to what? I shouldn't even be here anyway Janis: you want the lasting impression to be the girl that showed up, threw a paddy and then ran away Grace: focus on the fact you'll have your own room babes Janis: exactly Janis: why you tryna do me any favours Grace: not about you hun Grace: embrace the concept Grace: & new boy's 😍😍💘😘 Janis: yet I win again Janis: alright Grace: it's not me v you Grace: it was me v Leon & there was a glimmer of hope in one quite fit lad but 💔 obvs Grace: not gonna get with him if he can't handle a blindfold, am I Janis: that was your master plan Janis: jesus Grace: Duh Janis: Ooh Leon, lemme prove what a slag I ain't and a total catch and fling myself at a random boy Janis: showed him Janis: lucky it didn't work if that was your idea of a point to you Grace: No, let me show you how much I don't care that you think I'm a slag & neither does anyone else Grace: that boy included Janis: he definitely cares Janis: banking on it Janis: honestly, get a clue Grace: whatever it's not about to happen Janis: good Janis: 'cos that's the stupidest thing you've said all holiday and that's saying something Grace: such a bitch Janis: such a stupid slag Janis: we've all got our cross to bear Grace: Yeah Janis: 🙄 fucking hell Janis: anyway, they've stopped talking about you and da has a job so don't be a dick Grace: like that'd stop him or you're concerned about anything he does Janis: like you are Janis: least I don't pretend to care so he'll drive me places Grace: 🙄 let it go, he's not answering Janis: probably on the phone to his actual favourite Janis: 💔 bummer Grace: Mhmm Janis: wouldn't say you're 10th on that one but definitely not 🥇 Grace: you're 10th, I'm 9th Janis: Nah, idiot Janis: the white kid was 10th, it's pretty obvious Janis: Junior's 9th 'cos he literally hated him so much from birth he had to bounce Janis: Billie is 2nd 'cos came back for her, Pablo's 3rd, Iggy's 4th, rest you lot can duke it out for 5,6,7 and I'll take 8th Grace: not now she's dead, she isn't 🙏✞💕 Grace: & Junior has to be higher up now so he can repent honey Janis: kid yourself he weren't relieved Janis: ain't no one but black grandma believe in that shit Janis: and that's just as a handy-dandy rule book for him #sparetherodspoilthechild #obviously Grace: he's kidding himself, doesn't matter what I think Janis: nah Janis: he's happy being cucked, clearly Janis: plus competition got lower once Carly pegged it Grace: 🤷 Janis: n'awh Grace: worry about yourself and getting Ollie out of the way now I'm stuck here Janis: why would I Grace: cos you're 😍💍💘 Janis: so? Janis: you can do one, idc where you are Grace: UM NO Grace: you can Janis: nah Janis: you've got no use for a bed rn Janis: piss off to your friend's room Grace: being a bitch isn't gonna help you here babes Janis: then stay Janis: see how much that helps you Grace: so twisted Janis: you're the one refusing to leave, apparently Janis: been warned Janis: 🤷 Grace: EW Janis: don't worry, maybe your fwightened lil virgin theory will finally pay off for you and you can feel better about your own sexual history at my expense Janis: 🤞 for you babes Grace: OMG stop being gross Grace: I don't wanna see what's all over my feed thank you Grace: I definitely don't need IRL access Janis: 😂 Janis: OK nan 👌👌 Janis: you've always been the definition of can dish it out but not take it Janis: poor boy(s) 💔 Grace: I've never fucked a boy in front of you Janis: there's a lot you ain't done but I've heard plenty about Janis: difference between us is I ain't all talk Janis: you'll have to fuck off then, won't you Grace: cos everything you've heard is the truth Grace: oh please Janis: I mean from YOUR mouth Janis: it's empowerment and ownership when you do it, and Rio can get it all out for everyone at the right price Janis: but nah, not me Janis: you wish I was half the virgin you reckon, then you'd have ONE thing over me, yeah? get a grip Grace: I repeat, I'm not doing it in front of your face, bitch Janis: I repeat, you try to tell EVERYONE how good you are in the sack 'cos you know there are 3 hotter sisters to choose from Grace: No I don't! Janis: it's pathetic, stop it Grace: You're being extra & if you need ME to tell you, stop it Janis: What's your edge then? Janis: go on Grace: why is everything a competition with you OMG Janis: because it is, always has been Janis: come on, this is your thing, what's your target demo, babe, who are YOU catering to? Janis: you wanna be a 2nd rate Ri forever, yeah, cool Grace: SHUT UP Janis: Exactly Grace: You want me to hate you, I do Grace: Let it go Janis: not how hate works Janis: you really got to thinking Edie might care 'cos she let up, gave it some time and space Janis: no chance Janis: you ain't gonna forget Grace: I'm not doing this with you rn Janis: nah, you ain't Janis: put your face on Grace: it's always on hun Janis: You look a state Janis: and he's coming over Janis: get over it Grace: He's not coming to see me Janis: Who is Janis: Never stopped you before Grace: freak out about him all you want Grace: directing it at me tho Grace: really Janis: why would I Janis: I know who I am, who I'm catering to Janis: I'm the effortless one Grace: sure Jan Janis: maybe you'll think of a better selling point one day Grace: maybe you'll stop being so closed off one day Janis: don't count on it, babe Janis: especially not tonight, yeah Grace: 🤞 he isn't Grace: easy to fake being a person for a few days, yeah? Janis: said as if you'd know Janis: doormat's easier to maintain, right Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: Yep Janis: thought so Grace: You think about me too much babes Grace: it's getting lowkey weird Janis: these convos might set your world alight but remember that big word I taught you Janis: yeah, that Grace: 👌 Janis: 👋 Grace: 🙌 Janis: forgetting you got no place to be? Grace: you've got somewhere, go Janis: I've told you, I'm not leaving Janis: very injured, like Grace: 💔 Grace: tragic tbh Janis: his thoughts exactly Grace: awks if they are Janis: only for you Grace: you too that he's figured you out that quick sweetie Janis: and you're sat there wasting your whole life? Janis: we knew you weren't the brightest but bless Grace: you're really seizing the day babes, how could I compete Janis: you couldn't Janis: maybe you'll win the genetic lottery in your next life Janis: be the best dungbeetle ever Grace: how #motivational Grace: love that Janis: it's too late to be optimistic about this life Janis: but I got faith in you there Grace: ILYSM obvs Janis: ew don't even pretend Janis: put me off, obvs Grace: obvs not Janis: 😂 you're precious Janis: if I knew all it'd take to get you to shut up was telling you about my exploits, I'd have started ages ago Grace: If you had any ages ago, sure Janis: oh babe Janis: really still going with that bit Janis: can't let it go, can you Grace: can't tell the truth, can you Janis: what would you know about that Janis: #fakeittilyoumakeit right babes? Grace: I mean, obvs don't tell him unless he's into that #duh Grace: some boys get lowkey weirder than you're being about it so Janis: again, what would you know Janis: no one's buying that for you Janis: can't have it both ways 💔 Janis: or either, if you're you 💔💔 Grace: I was once thank you Grace: that's how it works Janis: NO! 😱😱 Janis: you mean you didn't come out the womb so sexually empowered, colour me #shook Janis: it's so natural, you wear it so well Grace: IKR Janis: Oh God 😂 Grace: Ew don't give me a preview of your sex chat Janis: yeah, you would imitate bad porn Janis: you know boys mute that shit, yeah? Janis: as per, too fucking loud, Gracie Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: no one fucks with that fake shit Grace: thanks so much for your expert advice Janis: welcome, welcome Grace: obvs not Janis: all very obvs with you, obvs Grace: LOL Grace: fun chat babes Janis: as always Grace: g2g relearn all my bedroom techniques so like Janis: bit gross to do that with your pals Janis: can't say I'm surprised Janis: another porn-like trope Grace: literally so gross Janis: I said it first, darling Grace: 👏👏 Janis: have fun, ladies Grace: duh Janis: 🤢🤢🤢 Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: soz, they ain't my type, like Janis: shouldn't come as a surprise Grace: It doesn't Janis: 👍 Grace: 👌

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Update/Trip report 25ish

I have been... severely neglecting this blog. I'm sorry bruh I just now am starting to get out that weird ass funk I was in for the last weekish

My skin hasn't been getting any worse. I can't particularly tell if it's still yellower than it should be or if this is my normal tone but either way not tripping on it anymore. My eyes have nearly went back to their normal hue. The blood vessels in my eyes are a bit more visible but nothing too alarming

I am a lot less exhausted too. I went from sleeping in and lying around alllll day to my normal lazy routine. I don't do tooo much of anything anyway but I at least now have the energy to do other shit without passing out midway through

My acid reflux is weird to sum it up quick. I've been getting full a lot quicker than usual and me attempting to eat anymore than the little shit here and there I've been doing lately makes it hurt hurt.

Uh actually new symptom I've noticed is my heart hurting when I want dph. Well. Not like want.. need? Ig. Dunno. It's fairly new but my chest feels tight sometimes and I'll struggle to feel my heartbeat and I'd usually pop a few to get rid of it. Tho with me and R being otp a lot as of late I have had to be a lot more selective/careful with how much I take and when. I can play it off pretty well with damn near anyone else but my bsf can sniff it out at times. Plus, I'm a lot quieter in general when I'm high which is kinda problematic when I'm mostly otp to comfort/distract R. I wouldn't be all that useful for that if I'm preoccupied tryna play it cool

Me and R have been on the phone damn near everyday since her and her partner broke up. Well. Took a break? I dunno bruh to me I think not talking to your partner at all and actively ignoring them is a nonverbal breakup. Especially with all her health shit. I get the silent treatment and shit but letting that get bad enough where you aint checking in when she has life changing news flung on her is just blatantly showing you don't give a fuck which TO ME = breakup. I can understand a whole lotta disrespect but the moment you let it effect things to the point you're just.. not cooperating. Not bothering to make sure they're okay.. Completely stepping away from yall until you feel like allowing things to go back to how it was. That's a breakup. Plain and simple

Sorry slight tangent. I just.. it's unimaginable imo. I even bothered to do that much when I thought I was dying lmfao. I may've been slumped a good 75% of the time it ain't that hard to shoot a text and keep it moving. If im being real, I wasn't even gonna tell her I was fucked up but I knew it'd make her actually answer my damn texts. It feels.. slightly manipulative but I honestly don't even care I just needed to make sure she wasn't doing anything absurdly stupid.

Uh but yeh. Everyday damn near since as at first I'd be sleep so good I wouldn't notice she texted so she'd call me to make sure I wasn't like dead and shit. Then she'd keep me otp to ease her anxiety on that shit. Ya know. Like making sure if some shit did happen she'd immediately hear it. Then as I got back right I texted back more consistently and I figured we'd stop talking again but then she started doing entirely too much as far as getting high to not think and shit and she'd call cause she knew I knew what's normal and not you know? I'm sure it was partially so she wouldn't feel so lonely but I'm sure she only turned to me cause I wouldn't make too much of a fuss about her getting high. I mean like, course.. I'd prefer her not to do all that period but I know I really can't stop her completely rn. She's going through a lot rn and that's just how she deals with it. I know whether or not I press her on that she's taking em so I'd rather keep her from being too unsafe with it.

Now it's prolly just routine. And I can semi replace her partner as far as constantly being otp. I know she'd pick her over me if she could but for now I can at the very least fill the gap so she doesn't feel like her entire world is got snatched from under her. I know how it is to go from always having someone there to being completely alone (ish. we both have siblings and shit but course aint exactly the same) Shit is hard and it's so easy to spiral and feel like everything's wrong cause so much changes all at once. I feel gross and odd knowing that that's all I am. Shit is gonna be all gone soon as her partner comes back around. But honestly I'd rather just hold my tongue and deal with the reabandoning shit once it comes. No real reason to make her think about that rn she has enough on her plate as is

Actually otp rn lmao. Slightly salty off some shit she said about her partner and shit but.. is what it is tbh. I'm tryna stay quietish and type loudish so she will think I'm just not talking much cause I'm focused on this. I know if I talk rn my voice'll prolly give it away so I'm tryna chill out with this stuff.

Uh but. As for trip report 25. I took 150 last night and passed out not realizing it. Was not the plan at all but not too mad. I woke up forgetting I took it tho no real consequences from that. My heart kinda hurts tho so I might pop a few extra rq. Dunno.

I'm gonna stop that there tho.. I don't wanna be too quiet and have her figure it out that way lol. I think Ima semi tell about this blog but not fully fully as it'd be an EXTREMELY stupid decision on my end lmfao