#I am talking myself into shipping this too hard someone stop me.

[ace-and-ranty]

I love this polycule. I really do.

El is like, “I will do the right thing, BUT I WILL BE MAD ABOUT IT THE WHOLE TIME.” Orion says, “I will do the right thing to help my girlfriend :)”

Liesel is all, “I will do the right thing and pretend the whole time is for strictly logical, pragmatic reasons”

AND ONLY ALPHIE is over there like, shoving the dead corpse of his colonialist maw-mouth making grandpa in the closet, and proclaiming he will do the right thing BECAUSE IT IS RIGHT.

[kings-highway]

pre-relationship bullshit haikyuu teams probably had to put up with before various ships managed to get their shit together

daisuga probably was really annoying with like small/petty jealousy, like a girl would hit on one of them and the other would be standing behind their back making faces about it and mocking it and everyone else on the team just has to put up with it. and then theyre all overly sweet to each other to make up for the petty jealousy or some odd version of "winning them back" after the flirting event and the team is rolling their eyes *so hard*

i think asanoya is so annoying bc nobody can convince Asahi that Noya likes him. Like full stop. Eventually someone pulls him aside and is point blank like "Noya said he has a crush on you ask him out" and Asahi is just like: "Haha he was probably joking" and just leaves the scene. Like the absolute refusal to believe it from Asahi combined with Noya's classic teen boy inability to be sincere means that even after theyve both been told they somehow still havent gotten together??? how long is this going to take???

tsukkiyama probably ruins everyone's week the week before they get together bc one of them *saw* a confession letter stuck into the other's bag and absolutely went (emotionally) off the rails for the days leading up to them discovering it was for them.

I am fully of the camp that iwaoi start dating before they label it/make it official so the whole team is screaming like "PLEASE HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT" meanwhile Oikawa is saying "we just went on a few dates and kissed a few times it doesnt mean anything" and Iwa is in the background shouting "yeah I dont wanna be anyone's boyfriend that's lame" and then they wander off to go eat dinner together holding hands and the team is left in frustration because ALL they talk about is how theyre *not* in a relationship.

for bokuaka its mostly just Bokuto pestering every goddamn person he knows for like 4 months asking "do you think Akaashi likes me?" or "do you think he'd say yes if I asked him out?" and then one day making Konoha *snap* when he says "I need to tell you a secret" and the secret is that he has a crush on Akaashi as if nobody had known that

with ushiten I imagine Tendou was probably really obvious with his crush/interest but in like a very casual "not taking myself too seriously" kind of way so he's comfortable openly flirting, and Ushijima, against everyone's expectations, doesnt seem to mind the attention but is still who he is, so the whole team just has to put up with the most INSANE interactions. Like Tendou walks into the locker room and cat calls him and Ushijima just replies with a formal "thank you" and Semi is contemplating slamming his head in a locker. There's like 12 months of this.

okay okay but I think arankita is *very classic* in that Aran compensates for his crush by over-supporting Kita. so like the whole team gets super annoyed bc Aran wont risk disagreeing with him, is always offering to do extra work, is generally just sucking-up really badly and the twins suffer the most for this bc Aran used to just ignore their antics but now he's super annoyingly on them all the time to try and impress Kita

kuroken is a little different. Yaku asks Kuroo every single day if he's asked Kenma out yet. Lev asks Kenma if he has a crush on Kuroo every chance he gets. Fukunaga gives them a wink when they leave practice to walk home together. This is the only pairing in which the team is the irritant pre-relationship and then post-relationship everyone loses interest and moves on.

I'd include kagehina but once again the entire goddamn show is everyone putting up with them flirting so whats the point.

[marlynnofmany]

Handy Tools

For some people, an afternoon spent blasting across a desert on a hoverbike with the passenger behind them wrapping tentacles around their waist would be a charming date. For me, it was a work day, and our delivery was about to be late.

I yelled over the wind, “Am I going too fast for you?”

Mur’s voice was muffled against my shirt. “I’m just glad I don’t have to steer at these speeds. Keep going.”

I went faster. Now that I’d been officially trained on the hoverbike, I was going to enjoy every opportunity to use it. Especially since it turned out that most of my coworkers didn’t actually like seeing the scenery flash past at breakneck speeds, with the wind in their hair (or lack thereof).

Their loss. I caught some air going over a low sand dune, and allowed myself a whoop of joy. Mur didn’t hold on any tighter, but that was because he had all his other tentacles suctioned onto the bike. Nobody stays in their seat like a Strongarm who’s properly motivated. He reminded me of cats I’d known who spent trips to the vet with their claws sunk into whichever soft surface was in reach. All that was missing was the yowling.

A gust of wind buffeted us sideways, but the bike’s auto-balance function kept it upright. With a thought for how much I would have liked that kind of technology in my childhood bicycle, I steered us back on track toward the distant buildings on the edge of the desert. The plan had been for our client to come meet us at the spaceport, but something had come up on their end, and they still needed the package in a hurry. Luckily for all involved, it fit in the storage compartment of our courier ship’s speedy little hovercycle. And I was happy to deliver it at high speed to a building that the ship couldn’t land near.

Eventually we’d be weaving through city streets and I’ve have to slow down. All the more reason to make up time with the high speeds now.

But of course it couldn’t be that easy. As I crested another rise, a herd of small things on the ground swarmed toward us out of nowhere.

I swerved hard, but no luck; there were far too many to avoid. With the wind behind them, they flowed under the hoverbike and onto its lower parts, where a bunch of the round little whatevers stuck fast.

The bike coasted to a stop, despite my efforts to urge it faster. The rest of the things ghosted merrily away, looking more like inanimate objects blown by the wind than like living creatures. Dozens of them were stuck to the bike.

Mur swore loudly in his own language, a series of rippling pops that sounded like someone going to town on a bunch of birthday balloons. Which seemed pretty appropriate, actually.

“What are these?” I asked, turning off the engine. They looked like little sand-beige balloons with leaves at the bottom. Were they plants?

They were.

“A muddy problem is what they are,” Mur said, loosening his tentacles and opening the storage compartment. “Seed pods famous around here for gumming up electronics by getting stuck where they shouldn’t. You can’t just pull ‘em off; you have to pop them.”

I got to my feet, careful to keep my legs away from the things. “Are they dangerous to touch?”

Mur climbed halfway into the storage compartment, digging with his tentacles around the package. “No. Just hard to puncture. Where is the toolkit?”

I had a sudden memory of our ship’s mechanic saying something about borrowing it while I was talking to the captain about the delivery. Uh oh. “I think we left before Mimi put it back.”

With an angry tentacle slap against the bike, Mur dug faster. “There’s got to be something pointy in here. Maybe in the medkit?”

While he pulled that out and sifted through the bandages, I got a closer look at the seed pods. They reminded me of pufferfish: a little spiky, and rubbery when I poked one. Oddly enough, it didn’t stick to my finger, just the bike. Seeds rattled inside.

Further pop-swearing told me there wasn’t anything particularly sharp in the tiny medkit. Mur shut it with a snap and looked around at the desert. “See any sticks?”

I did not. “There’s probably something at the town, but that’s a bit of a walk. Are you sure we can’t just rip them open? Are they toxic to bite?”

“Definitely don’t bite them,” Mur said. “I’ve heard stories of what those seeds can do to a digestive system.”

“By hand, though?” I tried to pinch one, but it was like trying to tear open an over-inflated kickball. Thin material, just without enough give to dig my fingers in. A pushpin would have done it. I kept trying anyway. “I see what you mean.”

Mur started tugging at various parts of the hoverbike. “And of course we can’t take off a sharp metal bit without tools either. And neither of us have claws. What around here is pointy?”

“Well, I almost have claws,” I said, looking at my fingernails. “Maybe I could bite one into a point. Or actually���” The nail on my middle finger was the longest. I dug a thumbnail into the corner and ripped the end off, then handed the tiny crescent to Mur. “Is this sharp enough?”

“What’s this?” He took it in his tentacle, surprised.

“Fingernail,” I said, waggling my fingers. “Mine are soft enough to tear off pretty easily. It’ll grow back.”

Mur blinked in surprise but didn’t comment. He just grasped it firmly with his most dexterous tentacle, and popped a seedpod with it.

“Hooray!” I said as seeds rained down and the pod deflated. To my surprise, it promptly detached from the bike as well.

“We might just be on time after all.” Mur started popping with a vengeance, swarming over the bike to get everything within reach.

I sacrificed another fingernail — ring finger this time — and joined in. Between my long arms and his maneuverability, we soon had all of the troublesome things collapsing onto the sandy ground.

I wondered briefly about the biology at work; maybe the outer surface of the pods would decompose into nutrients for the seeds. But then Mur was climbing back onto the seat, and we had other things to worry about.

“I’m going to make sure that toolkit goes back where it belongs the moment we get back,” Mur said. He opened the storage compartment and dropped the fingernail inside. “Keeping these, though. Gimme the other one.”

I handed it over with a smile and got back into place while he shut the compartment. The bike started as if there had never been anything wrong. I was a bit curious about that too, but figured it was something for Mimi to figure out when he gave the bike a checkup later.

After we delivered our package, that is. I kicked it into high gear, and with Mur holding on for dear life, I blasted off across the desert once again. The wind in my hair felt great.

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).

[fuckyeahmhawkefenris]

It is unbearably quiet on tumblr lately, and what little talking there is, it's all about the next game. Yeah, we're no longer in 2012, I get it.

I'll just keep entertaining myself however I can.

I've always wanted to talk about one fic I secretly refer to as one of the hidden gems in the fenhawke archives. I have never ever seen anyone bring it up, and in all these years I've never dared to recommend it to anyone... Don't think you can even find it so easily? For good reason tbh...

Thing is, it's a fill for da kink community on livejournal. Anyone remember that place? The safe haven where anyone could anonimously submit the kinkiest most shameless things you could think of - offering prompts, filling them... Those were some desperate times when we were painfully low on content, and it was very hard to find something to read. Finding a story with characterization that suited your vision was near impossible!

I myself was desprate enough to brave through countless pages of imageries I could not stomach, skimming through them just to get the general idea until something captured my attention.

So I found this, and honestly, to this day to me it is one of the best examples of... idk, not just good characterization, but the overall feeling of the fenhawke relationship, why I can't let go of them after 12 years? It's all subjective, of course, but no fanfic ever resonated with me as deeply as this. Also back then mage Hawke was not very popular and most stories featured rogues... I used to be very sad and lonely!

Warning: it's extremely triggery. I wouldn't even recommend reading the first part at all, because it's too difficult and painful to get through. Hell, I couldn't read it! I was looking through the text very VERY briefly to get only the most basic and vague understanding of what was happening, and it was still hard! There is a lot of abuse, rape, slavery things...

To get the idea:

The Alone quest did not get resolved as planned. Danarius managed to win that battle, captured Fenris and returned to Tevinter, gravely injuring Hawke in the process (Fenris thought he was killed). To break the remains of his will, Danarius threatens to erase Fenris's memories of Hawke, and he succumbs and stops resisting altogether. I don't want to recall the details, but it was awful. Go straight to part 17 (it's a flashback) to read a very lovely take on fenhawke first night together. It's super sweet and gentle, though painfully sad in context. Still, beautiful. Well, it gets worse before it gets better! Somewhere in part 19 Fenris's friends come for him (they sailed all the way here on Isabela's new ship) and he's rescued. What follows is an exceptionally touching tender reunion with Hawke. Oh, and then, once all is settled comes the second part - All the King's men, which is much less controversial and fairly easy to read. Fenris copes with his experiences, and Hawke is always there for him. There are some truly fantastic moments as they slowly get close to each other again! Isabela is pretty great here, and Anders... sorta made me warm up to his character? And it's all fairly believable and close to how we see them in the game.

I'm saying all this and linking this fic on the off chance that someone with tastes similar to mine ever needs something like it. I know I am grateful it exists, and still hold it very dear to my heart. Definitely never regretted finding it!

[photogirl894]

Hey Morgan!

Sorry to be popping in again so soon with another request. You're amazing and obviously ignore this if it's too much or anything 😂

If you don't mind, could I have a sick!reader with Tech taking care of her? I've been feeling pretty miserable and would love some clones to take care of me 😍

Thank you bestie 😁

Bestie, I am so sorry you've been feeling sick the last couple days 🥺 I would give you a big hug if I could!

I know you told me to pick the prompts myself for this, which was a fun challenge! I hope you like the ones I picked! I picked one from Fluff/Romance, one from Angst and two from Physical Affection! 😊

"Bedridden"

28. “Your smile brightens every room you walk in.”

26. “I would rather die.”

14. Comforting hug

30. Carrying someone bridal style

Pairing: Tech x fem reader

***

It had been a while since you'd been sick and it was hitting you hard.

It had started off with mild congestion that you thought had been caused by just the atmosphere of the planet you and the Bad Batch had just been to, but it persisted and got worse. Then your throat began to hurt to where it felt like you were swallowing razors.

You had Tech check you over when things didn't seem to get any better and the others were starting to get concerned. He checked your vitals and your temperature and you were starting to develop a fever along with everything else. You definitely caught some sort of virus. From what source, Tech was trying to figure out.

Though, you were stubborn, just like the rest of them and wanted to keep going and doing your part for the squad. You kept working on things in the ship, ignoring everyone's pleas for you to stop and to rest. Unfortunately, you ended up overexerting yourself and you nearly passed out on the floor. Luckily, Tech had been close by and had caught you in his arms.

"All right, my dear, enough of this foolishness," he stated as he swept you off your feet and carried you bridal style to your bunk on the ship. "You are too ill for anymore manual labor and your symptoms will only worsen should you persist. I am taking you to bed and you are going to get proper rest."

You could only groan in protest, but it was very weak.

After he put you to bed, you tried to sleep, but you ended up developing aches and chills throughout your whole body, which made you incredibly uncomfortable and sleep evaded you. Not long later, you called out for Tech and he came into the room with a small cup in his hand as well as a couple blankets.

"I assume you have aches and chills now?" he asked you.

You nodded, moaning painfully.

"I predicted this would happen," he said. Then he held out the cup to you and said, "Drink this. It will help."

You knew he was trying to get you to take some medicine that more than likely had an awful taste to it and the thought of that made your stomach churn.

"I would rather die," you said flatly.

He gave an unamused look. "I'll hear no such talk from you," he scolded you. You were shivering and, after setting the cup down momentarily, he took the blankets and laid them on you. "If you were to perish, then we would be devoid of your kind spirit and your lovely smile, which would be most unfortunate," he then said kindly to you as he tucked the blankets in around you to help keep you warm.

Through your shivers, you asked him, caught off guard, "Y--you...you th--think my s-smile is...lovely?"

Tech smiled down at you with a smile so soft, it would've made you swoon, were you not so sick, weak and bedridden. Yet it still made your heart flutter nevertheless.

"My dear, your smile brightens every room you walk in. I see it every day," he informed you. Then he took back up the cup of medicine and told you again to drink it.

With a groan of disgust, you replied, "You can't j--just compliment a girl like that and th--then tell her to dr--drink something nasty."

"I can if it means ensuring that you will regain your health and strength," he retaliated. "Now, please drink the medicine before I am forced to administer it through more assertive methods."

You gulped nervously, which was a mistake as it only aggravated your sore throat even more. Then finally, you sat up, took the cup from him and just downed it in one quick gulp to just get it over it. The flavor, as you predicted, was bitter and harsh in taste. It made you shudder and gag, but at least it was done.

Tech took the cup from you and said, "It should make you drowsy shortly, which will help you get some better sleep and combat the remainder of your symptoms. You must now focus on recovering from this ailment so you can return to normal. It pains me to see you in such a miserable state."

"I appreciate that, Tech," you replied as you leaned back against the wall and sighed. "I hate being sick...so much. I hate feeling miserable, but having to be isolated so I don't get anyone else sick. It sucks not having someone hold me or even just be there with me when I could really use someone."

"Then I will not leave you alone, even if it means your sickness transfers to me," he suddenly declared.

Then, to your even greater surprise, he pulled you into a tight yet gentle and comforting hug, his hands pressing down into your back. Even though his pressure hurt slightly from your aches, you didn't care. You were getting a hug from Tech, which was incredibly rare and something you'd only dreamed of getting from him. His embrace and the words he'd said gave you everything you needed in that moment and you gladly hugged him back.

He then stripped down to his blacks, moved himself onto the bed and continued to hold you, offering you both warmth to fight your shivers as well as comfort to ease your unpleasantness. You felt as though you could've stayed in his arms forever. The medicine soon took effect and you could feel your eyelids growing heavy as sleep took you, the last thing you heard before drifting off was Tech promising that he would be there when you awoke.

Photogirl894's Fluff/Romance prompts

Photogirl894's Angst prompts

Photogirl894's Physical Affection prompts

Photogirl894's 1,300 Followers celebration fics

[frannyzooey]

On The Green: 2

Ezra x f!reader

Rating: M (corpses, harvesting violence) will be E in later chapters ❤️

a/n: thank you endlessly to @the-scandalorian who lent me her big beautiful beta brain, to @bageldaddy who made me blush with pride and to @the-ginger-hedge-witch who soothed my Ezra nerves by checking this dialogue like the queen she is ❤️

Series Masterlist

—

You know he’s waiting for you to speak, but you…can’t.

He takes his helmet off, and you can see his features more clearly. His skin has a ruddy look to it, like it’s been days since he’s last bathed or eaten well, or gotten a decent sleep. He looks older, more weary without the reflective dome hiding the finer lines of his tired features – but still, no less intimidating. 

He looks rougher, his sharp eyes darker and more assessing. 

Your eyes make a slow circuit between his hand, which still loosely holds a weapon, and his dead partner. 

There is no deal to be made here. Not for you, and you know it. 

“Kevva waits, girl.” The sharp snap of his words brings your attention back to his face. He looks impatient. “You ready to talk about that deal?”

You swallow against the dryness in your throat, trying hard to fight against the sinking feeling in your chest. “What do you want.” 

It comes out more of a defeated statement than a question, and he studies you for a moment. 

“To be perfectly candid, I am in need of transit.”

You stare at him blankly, and he sighs with impatience. 

“I want your ship,” he states plainly. “However, I am not suggesting to leave you stranded if that’s what you’re thinking. As I find myself lacking….” He glances over at his dead partner for a moment. “I am generously proposing we join forces. Protection, for transport.”

“Protection?” you spit. “You gonna protect me as a partner like you did him?”

“He needed no protection, I can assure you that,” he huffs wryly. “But you?” He pauses in his speech, narrowing his gaze. “What is your plan here, anyway?”

Trying to appear like you have one, you steady your voice. “I’m here to dig.”

He laughs as if your statement is absurd. “I find myself disinclined to believe that, but let’s pretend for a moment that is the case. You dig. What then?”

“I’ll repair my ship and be on my way. Home, with something to sell when I get back.”

“And who is going to help you repair your ship?” he mocks. “You know how to do that too?” His eyes drift to your father’s lifeless form. “Seems your partner is out of commission. I think perhaps he was the mechanic?”

“He wasn’t my partner, I told you.” The corner he’s got you backed in displays plainly on your face. You shift your jaw, looking away. “I’ll find someone to help me. Someone –”

“A girl like you?” he interrupts, raising his eyebrows. “You wander into a camp of fringely mercs, raw, at the end of their tour, what happens? You appeal to their sympathies?” He shakes his head. “They have none. They are ruthless profiteers. You must have something to offer or they will find something to take from you.”

The emphasis he puts on the last few words makes his implication clear, and panic creeps into your limbs. 

“We’re in the same trough, you and I. Can’t say I was pleased to find your mare all black and cockways as she was supposed to be my redemption as well,” he muses, looking around at the poor state of the pod. “But I know how to fix her up. I can help you.”

He seems sincere enough in his offer, but everything he’s done thus far shows you his supposed sincerity means absolutely nothing. 

“I want someone else.” A childish statement, but the truth.

“Well I want a lot of things too, little bird.” He looks almost regretful for a moment, before leveling you with his gaze. ”Starting with your ship.”

Your mind still stuck on what he said about the other mercs on this planet, you wonder what’s stopping him from doing the same. 

“They will find something to take from you.”

Will he?

You could try to go it alone, but your first fucking hour alone on this planet has been nightmare enough to dissuade you from that course of action. If he doesn’t kill you to get this ship, the next person will. If he found you, others will, too. 

You think, buying yourself some time. 

“It’s clear you don’t belong here, little bird. I’m your safest route home,” he argues. “That is the goal, right?”

You bring your eyes back to him, wary and he seems to recognize something in your expression. When he slowly steps forward like he’s approaching a wild animal, you scoot back. 

“Hey,” his tone softens. “I’m not going to hurt you. You’re no threat to me, a fragile little thing like you. Anyone else would have killed you outright by now, I promise you that. You have a functioning ship – a rarity in these parts. I can help you protect it.”

“Only because you want to use it,” you sneer, and the edge of his lips lift. 

“Of course,” he replies. “I’m not foolish enough to offer my services for nothing. I promise you no harm if you promise me the same.”

“You killed your partner. Just now, right in front of me. What’s stopping you from doing the same to me?”

“I could have killed you a thousand different ways by now.” His voice slips into something lower, menacing yet truthful. “Like I said, you’re no threat to me. Besides, I think your ship would be better piloted by two, am I right?”

Seeing no way out, you deflate. 

And nod. 

“I need to hear you say it, little bird,” he tilts his head with a light scold. 

You glare up at him. “Yes. I accept.”

“Excellent!” he says, clapping his hands together, the sound making you jump. “First things first. Let’s move these bodies.”

The bodies.

Forgetting all about your new deal with a murderer, your stomach drops at the reminder of moving your dad’s body. 

“What’s your name, by the way?” The stranger grunts with exertion, lifting his partner’s feet to drag his body into a prone position. Crouching, he begins to pat the dead man’s pockets down. 

He’s callous about it, perfunctory. Not gentle in the slightest which makes sense since the man is dead, but still, there is something about the deft way he’s going through everything he had on him that makes it known that this is not the first time he’s done this. Not by a long shot. You wonder if it’s just from his experience on this planet, or an indicator of something larger.

“Mine’s Ezra, if you were wondering.” He gives a teasing glance, making note of your rudeness. 

When you don’t offer it, he merely shrugs. “S’okay if you don’t wanna tell me. I understand your apprehension. But I’ll have to call you something.” He seems to ponder for a moment, placing loose items he’s deemed useful in a pile by the man’s hip. “Since you came down from out of the sky, I would say “Birdie” is a suitable choice.”

You pull a face he doesn’t see, and then he’s moving the belongings to the side, making a clear path to the door of the pod. When his eyes shift to rest on your dad’s body, a sudden urge flares within you to stop him.

“He got anything useful on him?” Ezra’s chin jerks towards it. 

On instinct, you follow his gaze, immediately regretting it. You turn away in revulsion, the pooled blood a dark, congealed mass that sticks in your vision. Closing your eyes, you shake your head with a tight movement. “I don’t think he had anything on him besides his, uh…drops. Everything else is here in the pod.”

If he wonders what you mean by “drops,” he doesn’t ask. Instead, he approaches the body and glancing back, frowns at your hesitant expression.

“Look. You don’t—” he sighs, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. His voice lowers. “I’ll need your help with the big guy, but I can do this one by myself.”

“No,” you protest, forcing yourself to move forward. You can still taste bile, sharp on your tongue. “I should be the one—”

He puts his hand on your arm, shaking his head. “No,” he says kindly, but firm. “You shouldn’t be. A girl shouldn’t have to put her own father in the ground.” He steps around you gently. “Tell you what. Why don’t you head outside and keep watch, little bird. Let me know if you see anyone coming. Make no mistake, there will be scavengers looking for the same opportunity I was, and we’ve got to protect our only means of escaping this planet.”

He gathers your helmet to place in your hands, checking your filters are connected and charged. 

In your hurry to get out of the pod and away from the body, you’re already sealing your helmet into place when he snatches the thrower off the floor.

“Hey,” he calls out sharply, just as you’re about to step out of the hatch. He thrusts the weapon towards you. “Don’t forget your thrower. Armed. Always armed here. Understood?” His gaze holds yours in weighted significance. 

You nod, taking it from his outstretched hand. “Okay.”

Opening the hatch, you step outside for the first time. 

Everything is green. The brush, the trees, the sky–all varying shades of the color. Dust floats through the air; aimless, toxic, suffocating. You wonder how long you would last if you took your helmet off. Studying the lush, towering trees, your eyes follow the paths of thick vines that both climb up the trunks and spill over the dark soil, coming to rest on the soft dirt that your boots sink into. You lift your foot and the imprint you leave behind is as clear as the two sets that lead from the edge of the forest to your pod. 

The footprints circle the pod, and your stomach lurches at the thought that they were circling without you even knowing. 

Resolutely keeping your back towards the ramp, you tighten your grip on your thrower and use the moment to take stock of your situation. Your father told you a couple of things about this planet: the air is toxic, the population is non-existent, and the main reason anyone comes is for the aurelac. An amber colored gem found within the bowels of pit sites, the price it can fetch is significant. His drops clutched tightly in his hand, he told you of a neglected site filled with treasure—a rumor, the Queen’s Lair–his eyes wild and clouded with liquid that made them shine with foolish hope. 

That’s it, though. No map left behind, no coordinates. No solid confirmation it even exists. He only brought you along because it would be dangerous to leave you completely orphaned for however long it took him, and to take advantage of your (limited) skills as a co-pilot. 

When you hear a heavy slide and a grunt behind you, you keep your eyes on the forest, scanning the trees. 

Nothing to offer the man who has offered you partnership, you wonder how long it’s going to take him to figure out you’re of no value. Completely useless, better off dead and out of the way. Your mind scrambles for leverage, and you’re still thinking when you feel a tap on the shoulder. 

Swinging around, you point your thrower – directly at Ezra’s chest. 

His hands fly up in surrender. 

“Steady now. It’s just me.”

He must have connected your comlinks because you can hear his words, low and slightly modulated through your helmet. Lowering your weapon and assuming he’s going to take it from you, you offer it up, but he waves it away, resting his hand on a pistol strapped to his hip. 

“Good to see you’re quick on the draw,” he smirks. He jerks his head towards the pod. “I need your help with the other one now.”

You glance over his shoulder towards the woods, trying to find a sign of your father’s body and his voice snaps your attention back to him. 

“Hey. Don’t…” he pauses. “Don’t. Say your goodbyes to the Green, girl, but don’t go lookin’. You don’t need to see that anymore.”

Surprised by the consideration in his statement, you follow him up the ramp. Inside the pod, he lifts under his former partner's arms. 

“Grab the feet – go ahead and push, while I pull.”

It takes ages getting the massive, limp body down and out, but eventually it’s rolled down the ramp with a thud. Ezra’s breathing sounds loud, and he takes a moment to catch his breath. 

“What you want to do is cover the body with rocks. Try to hide it, so as to not attract any attention. The locals, they –” he grunts, dragging the man towards the brush, “—they leave bodies out in the open, as part of their ritual to honor the memory but I think it’s rather–” he shoves the man down a slope, letting gravity do the work for him, “uncouth.”

Slowly descending down the slant of dirt, you follow behind him. Not used to an explanation following orders, you listen closely to his words. He gives you more context for his decisions than your father ever did, and you pocket every piece of information, eager for it all. Anything to help your survival in this place. 

With both your heads bent in task, he breaks the silence after a few moments. “What was your father here to harvest?”

Lifting a rock from the ground, you toss it in the general direction of the body. “Gems.”

Ezra huffs a laugh. “Most gems are long gone. Discovered and harvested during the rush.” He looks over at you from the corner of his eye. “Got any information on where he was hoping to find unfound riches?”

“If most gems have been harvested, what are you doing here?”

He laughs in delight. “Rapport, how I’ve missed it.”

You take note of the way he side steps your question. “He didn’t tell me.”

“What did he tell you about this place?”

Easy to talk to, charming and affable, you can see how easily he would wheedle information out of others. Unsure how much you should really be confiding in him, you decide less is better for now. 

“He didn’t tell me anything. Just that we were going to come here to dig – or rather, he was.”

“Nothing?” he asks, surprised. “He led you here, unprepared?”

You say nothing, and his expression turns more solemn. He shakes his head. “Foolish, keeping you in the dark like that. My own partner was more of a utility. Seems like your father treated you the same way.”

His statement hurts, though you try not to let it show. You shrug instead, watching your steps as you pick through the rocks. 

He gives you time to reply, and when you offer nothing up, he continues. “Did you ever want to learn how to dig? Harvest gems?” 

You don’t think you’ve ever been asked that question, and when you look up at him to find him looking at the ground, you can hear the smile he has on his face through the commlink when you don’t answer. He continues, “I stumped you, didn’t I.”

“I don’t…” you flounder. You’ve always had a distaste for the profession, spending your life around the seedy people who do it. However, it seems rude to say that outright to his face. “I’ve never really thought about it. It would be useful to learn, I guess.”

“Maybe,” he says. “Depends on what you want from this life. It’s a big world out there, Birdie. If you could have your pick, what would you do?”

“Go home.”

The words slip out before you can stop them, and though it’s such a small thing to ask in such an endless universe, he just nods like he understands. 

 –

The bodies taken care of, he leads you back to the pod and tells you to wait there for him. He’s got a camp close by – a tent, filled with his belongings – and while he’s gone collecting it, you clean the disorganized mess inside the pod. 

Go home. You don’t even know why you said that, there isn’t much of a home to go home to. This pod has been more of a home than anything else has; the only constant in your transient life. What you meant was some place that felt like a home. A comforting place, where you felt safe and wanted and cared for. The place itself didn’t really matter, more the feeling it represented. You had yet to find it, but you knew it wasn’t here. 

The metal cabinets that line the walls had burst open upon impact, so you take your time methodically putting everything right. Medical supplies, vac packs of food, your father’s harvesting tools. His case, with his initials stamped on it. His supply of chemicals, his various scalpels unceremoniously dumped onto the floor. You snap them carefully back into their case, and put them away. 

Then your things: your bedding, your sparse collection of clothing, your journal. Wrapping the bound book in a shirt, you tuck it into your pillowcase, hiding it. Your headphones appear undamaged, and you test them with a couple of the cassettes that lay scattered across the floor. The music flows through them uninterrupted, and for the first time today, you feel a small sliver of relief. 

You find his drops underneath his chair. 

The tiny brown vial with the stopper you’ve seen him hover above his eye a million times, you aren’t ready for the resentment and rage you feel as you hold it in your palm. You can’t remember a time when your father didn’t have them on him. Slices of time flash through your mind: the sight of his back as he left you for days on end, the slow, syrupy drag of his words when he mumbled after putting the drops in, the feverish need in his eyes as he slipped the bottle from his pocket to calm the trembling in his hands – right before an emergency sensor went off in the pod and everything went to hell. 

The urge to crush it underneath your boot or take it outside and smash it against a tree flares bright, and a scream builds at the base of your throat. 

In your mind, you let it out. In real life, you tuck the bottle into a cabinet and shut the door. 

A signal agreed upon when he left, you know Ezra is back when he knocks rhythmically before entering. Busy scrubbing the dash clean, you’re going over the blood spots for the third time. You can’t see them anymore, but you still feel them there.  

“Got everything,” he states, removing his helmet. Tossing it on the ground, he rakes his fingers through his sweat damp curls with a sigh. “Quite the load to carry back. I’ll need space within your vessel to store my things.”

He steps towards a cabinet, and you stand, alarmed.

“Wait. You’re staying in here? With me? I thought you said you have a tent.”

He ignores the way your voice gets higher and tighter with every word, opening a door to peer inside. “I do, but it would be foolish to separate. If you’re opposed to discomfort, then you never had any business being on the Green, girl.”

It wasn’t my choice, you want to scream at him, but you hold your tongue. 

“Can’t you sleep outside in front of the hatch? To make sure no one gets in?”

He shakes his head, opening another cabinet. He rifles through your medical supplies, impressed. “This beauty really is fully stocked, isn’t she? No wonder I thought she’d be my redemption. Riches beyond belief hidden within her unassuming depths.”

He’s murmuring more to himself than anyone, and annoyance begins to simmer at the careless way he’s putting your freshly organized things back. You’re just about to repeat yourself when he closes the door and turns to you. 

“It won’t do to sleep outside. I need to protect this pod just as much as I need to watch over you.”

He opens another cabinet, and your cassettes spill out with a slide. 

“What are these?” he asks, already bending to pick one up. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Snatching it from his hand, you kneel down to gather them up. Huffing with frustration, you cram them back into their storage and shut the door quickly. 

He watches it all, his jaw shifting in thought. 

“Look,” he ventures. “I know this isn’t ideal, but it’s gonna be a long couple of months if you don’t trust me.”

You say nothing, and he sighs. 

“A good partnership is only made so by candid discourse.”

He’s right. You know he’s right, and yet you don’t have it in you to acknowledge it out loud. How he expects you trust him you truly don’t know, and yet in the hours since you’ve met him, he has shown you kindness. A partnership offer when you don’t deserve it, protection against his former partner, burying your father for you. Whether that kindness is real or a ruse to have you lower your defenses, you don’t know. 

Either way, you don’t really have a choice. 

“There are a couple of spare storage bins over there,” you gesture at the corner, defeated. “You can put your things in there.”

“My sincerest thanks,” he replies with a slip of sarcasm, and turning back to your cleaning, you roll your eyes. 

–

“I need to protect this pod just as much as I need to watch over you.”

The words repeat on a loop in your mind; your body shifting on the stiff cot. His presence in the small space feels foreign, your body hyper aware of it. You’ve never slept in this pod with anyone but your father. 

Your father. 

You wait for the grief to come, but when it doesn’t, you blame shock. The alternative would be to think about how you feel nothing, which, what kind of a daughter loses her father and feels nothing? Tendrils of shame seep through your thoughts, and you roll away from Ezra as if he can see into your mind. Your back facing him, you try to shut him out, focusing instead on the moon outside the window. 

It’s full, high and clear above the horizon, suspended in the inky sky. Your eyes study the craters carved into the surface, and you take slow and steady breaths out, mimicking sleep. You wish you could slip your headphones on and drown out the tension that fills the small space, but you don’t want to leave yourself vulnerable like that. 

You hear him shuffle behind you, and your shoulders brace themselves with tension – but when he doesn’t make any other sound, you go back to watching the floating dust. 

Isolated, alone. No different than any of the other thousands of nights you’ve spent staring out at the moon while waiting for your father to come home. The weight of your situation compresses the air in your lungs, and you feel the sharp, hot sting of tears behind your eyes. Squeezing them shut, you will them away. 

You won’t cry in here with him. You won’t. 

Both resentfully frustrated with his presence and deep down, grateful for it, you cross your arms tight across your chest and squeeze. Pouring all your emotions into the pocket of your chest, you squeeze and you squeeze, soothing yourself. 

He shuffles around quietly behind you, getting comfortable on his own cot and you’re thinking it’s going to be a long night just before the weight of the day presses upon your eyelids. 

They flutter shut, and you fall into a dreamless sleep.

[my-darling-boy]

Have you had any ✨Ghost Experiences✨ in Scotland yet? Meet any new ghosts???

Ohhhh plenty, but far too many to list without going off on a ramble haha

We’ve done many overnights in castles and old buildings up and down the UK with a team of investigators which has led to really neat experiences, some of them absolutely poignant. I think my favourite interaction has been with a sweetheart of a young seaman called William aboard the RRS Discovery docked in Dundee, also the best K2 session I’ve ever had was there. But yeah, various castles, historic buildings, manors, prisons, etc with some really fascinating results.

I do like how it’s also putting the mediumship to the test which is something I still don’t really like bringing up in general to people but I have apparently shocked investigators/employees at these places with describing events, people, and other things with detail that is not even public or only known privately by people who frequent that location. Nearly all locations I’ve never been to and make a point not to read up on them before I go, which makes these instances more compelling? I often don’t even know the significance of what I’m (sheepishly) describing only to be told I just described a specific thing that happened in a room when there’s no way I could know about said thing. One of the best instances of this was on the RRS Discovery when trailing behind the group in the lower decks, I stopped suddenly. It felt as though something SMACKED very hard and very sudden right where I was standing, someone had lost their life in this very spot. I thought with the boilers around perhaps someone had been hit somehow and died or maybe fallen from the above platform and hit their head on the metal below but was told there were no known records of someone dying in that room and that the platforms didn’t exist at the time. I was perplexed by this as I was 100% sure something had happened there but I just ignored it, maybe I was wrong. We get up to the top deck finally and are told about a boy who, in 1901, tragically fell from the crows nest and died. The investigator and I suddenly realised I had been standing directly below the spot he would have hit on the upper deck when he fell. Another would be a nice young man I’d encountered at a private castle who seemed to be wearing some sort of chainmail and white tunic, followed me around for most of the night, and at one point I picked up on a story about a strange looking gold disc with all these markings on it on the alter in the chapel which he immediately told me not to ask about and refused to elaborate more, I had no idea why he was so adamant about this. I later learned after enquiry the castle historians have documented the place being used by the Templars and it’s a private fact at this location that the Templars have buried artefacts beneath the castle they are working to recover… most notably, beneath the chapel. I’d be talking for ages if I described the other occurrences, but that’s one I’ll always remember!

All and all, I do actually recommend doing it, even if you don’t believe in the stuff, because you get entire historic locations basically all to yourself, at night, which is cooler. I once sat for nearly an hour in a 200 year old jail on the floor, in the dark, at 2 AM, just chilling. On free roam while everyone is usually at base, I’ve been able to explore places by myself, in the dark, opening doors to rooms not even shown to us, panning my torch to old paintings and artefacts in basements to attics and bedrooms and so much more. I’ve sat alone in century old ships and played sea shanties which echoed hauntingly down the passageways. Sprawled out in the pews of medieval chapels in the pitch dark, wandered dark castle corridors alone, sometimes I’ll sing out old songs and just listen to it drift out through the halls and rooms. You feel like some character in a novel, it’s quite a liminal space! Like all these places where so many other people came before you, where people lived and died, sometimes even right where you’re sitting, and you’re able to lay out on the stones in the dark with it all and just feel connected to it yk?

Anyway that still ended up being a ramble HAHA so yeah! I recommend it for both believers and those less inclined because at the end of the day, you’ve basically got several hours of private access to historical locations, at night, no tourists, and sometimes to places the public isn’t allowed at all, and hey maybe something Strange will happen while you’re alone in the darkness.

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

How much they wanted to see each other?

Another people had made analysis, but I honestly couldn't help myself but to examine another scene, because I need to squeal at this.

While the beginning clue us in how much they miss each other (which wow, I knew Miles was crushing on Gwen since the first movie, but Gwen doesn't get behind AT ALL.) When they reunite, is very interesting.

Leaving aside that a lot of stuff changed from the teaser (because WOW, they really went and say "put the teenage crush up to 11" to both of them,) we really are sold in how much Miles is crushing on her, both from the drawings (in the notebook and the Walls, she was the first drawing and she appears the most,) and the last movie.

Gwen in contrast, comes a lot more subtle not just because Miles cannot hide his emotions for the life of him; while Gwen has issues controlling her anger, or had before, you can see that in general closes off about her feelings, and tries to not talk too much about it. In other words, she has a tendency to hide, and it is reflected on the screen.

Just as much as is shows that when she cares she can't help herself.

First When she appears, she tries to act as if is not a big deal. She is just opening a hole to create an entrance from another dimension, no biggie.

Miles barely had time to recollect himself (a lot more coherent if it was me that's for sure.) But again, I think that is to be expected.

What I like is what Gwen is doing.

The first thing she does is try to appear casual, looking around to anything in the room before him.

But the second she looks at him (and I mean SECOND, I was trying to get a decent screenshot but is hard.) she hugs him.

(We will take a moment to appreciate Miles being so out of left field he is just frozen.)

I also like to note that Gwen is probably a very physically affectionate person, or at least, someone who likes being physically affectionate with the people important to her.

We can see it with her dad in how even when things with him are tense, she doesn't hesitate to hug him because despite everything, she loves her dad.

And with the spider society being well, the spider society (That's a topic for another day and maybe not this blog,) she probably doesn't have a lot of affection these days, which makes sense go to Miles since well, she REALLY has miss him.

But I don't think she agrees with that.

Hey, remember how I was talking about how cool and collected Gwen seems at first, just to be betrayed by her own emotions because she cannot help it? This is happens often and I love it.

I think this is a good time as any as to talk about something that the movie could had done, and I am SO glad that they didn't.

Part of the reason I was lukewarm to this ship in the first movie, is that it was doing partially the very tired trope of "Dorky protagonist has a hopeless crush in the badass female co-lead and despite finding him annoying at first, they end up together."

Luckily it doesn't actually immerse into that trope and Miles has more personality than most of those archetypes; but being a super hero movie, I was kind of tired of this, and while I think Miles crush on Gwen was cute in the first movie, I didn't think they would turn around.

When the teaser dropped, I was afraid it was going to just dive in that route.

And yet, this movie does the interesting thing, by having Gwen actually lose the cool mask sometimes.

Because yes, Gwen is cool, she is awesome. She is badass and she can still, probably defeat Miles if she really wanted to; she has been a spider for longer than him so that makes sense.

However, even if she is all those things, she is still a teen, with a crush, and even her coolness cannot stop the fact that she probably doesn't know how to do this either.

I love how as much as Gwen wants to act cool, she still slips up because she probably thinks she made Miles uncomfortable by hugging him like that (he was just a slow to react, yet that would be my read if I was her.) And also because again, she knows she needs to take it easy.

I found funny how she just realizes this is his room, despite technically she giving it "a look" when she came in. Like I say, she was just trying to contain herself.

Miles being nervous about looking like a kid (valid fear considering one of the last things Gwen said to him was how she was 15 months older than him.) is normal and cute.

While I don't doubt Gwen teased Miles a little, and I still don't know what to say about the ripping scene; she sounds a lot more relaxed about the fact that one may think. I had people react badly to my fandom stuff that is often perceived as childish; so while Gwen still shouldn't had done that, it wasn't bad in my eyes.

Now let's talk about one of the favourite scenes for us shippers.

When she sees the drawings, I think she sounds a tad shocked and confuse, which is normal all things consider. What is important for me is Gwen's reaction.

THIS isn't the face of someone uncomfortable with that information.

Listen, I am not trying to shoot my own horn or anything, but when I was younger, I had people confess to me, from private to in a very public manner; and it can be extremely uncomfortable and awkward.

I had needed to find a way to keep my face neutral, and man isn't easy.

But Gwen doesn't look like she is trying to pretend everything is fine, she looks actually fine with this information.

She literally found out her friend has a stupid amount of drawings of her, imagine someone you know and who you don't have interest doing that to you.

There is no way she will be this chirpy about those drawings if she wasn't a bit happy about it.

Which is part of the reason I love this sequence, because Gwen knew Miles's crush on her from before, but it has been over a year, and you don't know how much it can change. So her initial insecurity makes sense.

And it only takes her less than 5 minutes to confirm that nope, he is still head over heels for her.

And I think getting her cool back and how she reels him in her direction show that.

Also, look at this face.

This is exactly why everyone clock's Miles feelings in 0.5 seconds, it never stops shining.

However, as much as his feelings shine through, Gwen doesn't stop showing them back constantly, as discretely as she can.

[pengujoon]

00:56

“Crusty nails? Yep.”

“Skinny fat? Tick that off.”

“Thighs that spread whenever I sit? Sure.”

“Scars from when I was-“

“What are you going on about?” You heard your husband shuffling over to your side of the bed with a worrisome look on his face. 

“Oh… it’s nothing much,” you said nonchalantly, “go back to sleep, darling. It’s nothing much for you to be concerned of.” You smiled, but he could easily see though your poorly put-on facade, and you knew that very well. 

“Love,” he sat up, hands reached out for yours, his thumbs caressing the back of your hands, “what’s wrong?” 

Your voice is a whisper, your breathing heavy as you leaned into him, the warm weighted blanket acting as a shield from the cold wind from the air conditioner. 

“You do remember that I went out with my friends yesterday for a meetup, right?” His short hum of recognition prompted you to continue. “When we were out having a good time in a cafe, our topic of conversation suddenly shifted to talking about our accomplishments - no, sorry, their accomplishments.

“One of them is a rising model, and just got signed under a rather renown modeling agency. The other one got promoted to a manager from a supervisor, and the other just started their PhD.

“I just feel like I’m lacking in everything. Beauty? Not me. Brains? Definitely not.” You chuckled emotionlessly. “What am I even remotely good at?” 

You sighed, and felt tears well up in your eyes; your voice threatened to break if you continued any longer. You wiped away the stray tear that found it’s way down your cheeks, and glanced upwards to the ceiling, feeling your limbs slowly go weak the longer you stayed in your husband’s warm embrace.

“It’s always them and how they’re doing, how good they’re doing, isn’t it?” His soft voice pierced the silence, his rough hands gently caressing your hair. You felt your tears flow down your cheeks as you nodded, your back of your right hand laying flat against your forehead, your eyes shut close in an attempt to stop the tears. 

“It’s always this feeling,” he said, looking into your eyes deeply, “this feeling of not being good enough, isn’t it? This feeling that there are always people who are better than you, no matter how much you tried.” 

You remained silent, feeling your muscle relax under his constant touch as he continued.

“Do you ever tell people the bad experiences that you go, or rather, went through?” 

Surprised by this sudden and rather unrelated question, you shook your head uncertainly.

“We all have our own battles that we face, love. It’s hard to talk about these things even with people you trust. It’s easy to look at them and think they’ve got everything figured out, like they’re walking on this smooth, glittering path while we’re trudging through mud.”

Sniffling, you whispered back. “But sometimes, it feels like they’re untouched by any of the chaos. It’s not hard to feel inadequate, you know?”

“I do, too well even for my own liking,” he chuckled, “but one thing I do know is that everyone’s battling their own storm. We’re all captains of ships, sailing through unpredictable seas. Just because we can’t see the tempest from the shore doesn’t mean they’re not there.

“We’re all writing stories that are far more intricate than they appear at first glance. It’s all those hidden chapters that truly define our narratives.” 

You sighed, then sat up to face your husband. Every time you look at him, you always wonder how it’s possible for someone to hold so much love within the depths of their gaze. His eyes hold a love so deep that as though it’s a sanctuary, a place where you can surrender yourself, your fears, and let his love embrace you fully.

“I wish,” you whispered under your breath, not looking into his eyes for you were afraid that you couldn’t hold your tears in, “I wish I could see myself the way you do.”

“Love,” he said, holding your hands, “look at me.”

You glanced up at him; he bathed in the delicate luminescence of the soft moon glow through the window, assuming an otherworldly presence, as if drawn from the tapestry of dreams.

“I wish I could gift you the mirror of my perception, to reveal the stunning masterpiece that you are. Every facet of your being, every little thing that lights up your eyes, is a marvel to me. All those scars, all those things you’re unsure about, I love them, because they’re part of you. 

“Until then, know that my eyes only reflect the truth of your magnificence and beauty, my love.”

Your eyes glimmered, a fragile response to his words, as you managed a shaky whisper, “You always know how to say the right thing.”

He leaned in, drawing you into an embrace, an unspoken promise of his affection woven into the way he held you close. He whispered, “Because every word I speak to you is laced with the truth of my heart. Your laughter, your quirks, they’re melodies that echo in my soul.”

Your fingers clenched the edge of the blanket, knuckles turning white as your gaze flickered downward. A subtle quiver danced through your voice. “But what if I’m not good enough?” The vulnerability of your question hung in the air, the unspoken turmoil evident in the slight tremor of your lips.

He shifted closer on the bed, his movement a silent affirmation of his presence. His fingers found yours, intertwining gently, offering a reassuring squeeze. With a tender gaze that held you and nothing else, he softly replied, “Love, you’re more than enough. I promise you, every doubt you have is overshadowed by the incredible person you are.

“You are not just enough, you are immeasurable in your worth. In my eyes, you’re the sun that rises after the darkest night, casting away shadows and filling the world with warmth. My love, you’re more than enough for me, for us.” 

He lifted your hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss against your knuckles.

“When I look at you, I see a universe of stars that shine uniquely. Your journey, your struggles, they’re part of what makes you breathtakingly you.” 

As your breaths synchronised in the quiet intimacy of the room, he traced the outline of your hand with his thumb, a slight reassurance of his presence. “In your laughter, I find my joy; in your eyes, my universe unfolds,” he whispered, the air charged with tenderness. “and in the depths of my being, there is a love that’s boundless, a love that defies worlds.

“And, my dearest, I love you beyond measure.”

Your emotions, held back for so long, found release in the embrace of his arms. The weight of your fears, your doubts, spilled forth in silent tears, each droplet a testament to your vulnerability. He held you, offering a sanctuary of warmth and solace, sharing the unspoken language of comfort.

Eventually, as your sobs turned to soft exhausted breaths, a tranquil calm settled over you. Gently, he shifted, his touch as delicate as a whisper as his lips brushed against your forehead.

The night felt as though it had woven its tapestry around you, painting your form with a silvery luminescence. He tenderly whispered, “Goodnight, my love,” his words a final caress before he let your dreams carry your away. 

[richonnesbitch]

Oooh ok now we know your fav TOWL kiss(es) so the logical next question is what is/are you favorite TWD kiss(es) ???

And between your fav TOWL and fav TWD kiss… which one wins 😈

Just wanna start this off by saying I'm sorry I took so long to get to this! I've been busy lately but I wanted to give this question the time it deserved because I could really go on and on about every richonne kiss. But I am going to limit myself to my top 3. I would do more but currently I'm not in the hest headspace so its hard for me to think! This is in no particular order because it's hard as hell to pick favorites! Anywayyyy let's get started.

1. Have Your Mints

Okay so before richonne I wasn't really one of those people that shipped couples, okay? Of course I loved the chemistry between richonne but I wasn't as hardcore about it as I am now. I remember where I was when this moment happened. When I say it changed my life, it changed my entire DAMN life. Like, I was shell-shocked in the most amazing way possible. Never have I felt such euphoria in my life than I did when Rick and Michonne finally happened! I immediately became a VERY hard-core shipper. I would literally rewatch this kiss on repeat for HOURS for MONTHS straight. Obsessed was not even the word. Like it was straight up addiction the way I would watch it. Naturally it would have to be my favorite kiss! It's just so beautiful and romantic and sensual and tender, etc, etc, etc. I've never seen anything else like it. To quote Scott Gimple, "These are two people who have found kindred spirits in each other, strength, respect, support, loyalty. But the world has been screaming in their faces and clawing at them for a good part of their acquaintance. For all they’ve been through, when the world stopped screaming and clawing for them, they realized what they had." Wooooo! What a gorgeous quote. Basically, this kiss invented romance for me and changed the entire course of my life. I had to give it the #1 spot, I had to. I had to!!!

2. The Triple Kiss

This kiss is just too damn cute. If I'm not mistaken, it's the only casual kiss we ever get between richonne. Most of the time they're making out lmao! But it just goes to show how life has slowed down a lot for them and now they're fully able to enjoy their time together and they can take time with their kisses. It's so domestic. Also find it cute how Rick knows Michonne likes too work hard but kinda softly tells her to take it easy for the night because he wants to cuddle her to sleep. This whole scene is too good.

3. Hearts Still Beating

Well, this kiss was almost too dark to see but from what I did see it was sexy as fuck! And also very loving at the same time. Richonne is so good at that. I love love love LOVE Michonne's speech. She has such a way with words, her thinking about becoming a writer at one point in her life makes SO much sense. The way she talks about how she doesn't wanna do things her way. she wants to do it her AND Rick's way. She doesn't wanna do anything without her man by her side. The way she not only convines Rick to fight the saviors but also uplifts him in the process.... she is so one of a kind. And the way Rick listens intensely and values each and every word. This scene is also extra sweet because not only does it drive the narrative forward but it's also a makeup scene for Rick and Michonne who have been at odds! Whenever she starts crying and he cups her face and kisses her.... ughhhh you can just FEEL the yearning they've been experiencing over each other. They missed each other so bad and it feels so good for both of them to be back on the same page. This isn't an actual picture of the kiss but a still from the same scene. WHY IS THE STILL BRIGHTER THAN THE SCENE IN THE EPISODE!?!?! Lowkey I feel like someone on set was trying to sabotage them.

Now.... how do these compare to TOWL kisses? Well, this is kind of like asking a parent to pick their favorite child. How can I choose when they're all so perfect?!?!?!?! But seriously if you really want me to choose.....I have to go with the "have your mints" scene. I'm sorry! I just do. I mean... it's where we all started. It's what turned me into a shipper and kicked off the greatest love story of all time. Did I mention it was all done in one take and Danai and Andy essentially took their own direction for the scene? Meaning everything they did was unscripted and yet it still came off as the most natural thing in the world.... how can it not win?!?!

[akalikai]

TMAGP EP 16 REACTION (SPOILERS)

CELIA HOLDING ALICE HOLY SHIT MAN THE SAMALICELIA POLYCULE IS GOING SOMEWHERE I also think this might be Celia's instinct to comfort from being a mother maybe??? BUT ALICELIA FEELS. My God their ship name could be a palindrome. Insane.

DEAR LORD DID ALICE SEE HER PARENTS DIE???? MY POOR GIRL.

Tape recorder is gone??? And yeah I suspected that the woman had been dead the whole time. Something was using her as a mouth piece, maybe something relates to ep 11 with the deep??

I think Celia and Sam saying they believe Alice is gonna bring them closer. I know people are sus of Celia so it could be a ploy to get closer to the OIAR employees, but I don't know, with her disliking Lady Mowbray, I'm more inclined to trust her.

The fact that Alice says "paid my horror dues" makes me think she knows more about said horrors and is working at the OIAR specifically to avoid it. Were her parents killed by The Horror?

"I think there's plenty of it go around at the moment" Yeah she's talking about Lady Mowbray. Seriously, I have respect for Celia, she really stood her ground last episode.

Man the fact that we were like "omg what if Alice's phone call ends up being a statement!!" In a serious way meanwhile Alice is like "yeah no Freddie will probably spit out in a few days so nothing to be concerned about". What if. Tho. Gwen ends up hearing the phone call. That would be interesting. Speaking of, where is our corporate girlfailure.

Sam you awkward little bean I love you. I'm sure Celia and Alice just gave him the fondest, "You're such a dumbass" look.

SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCER TIME????

OH NO. OH NO FUCK AM I GOING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH INK5OUL. THEIR VOICE.

I'm sorry I now understand what Alex meant when he said this episode was social-cringe-horror. The misuse of AAVE is actually so accurate please help my I'm on the floor screaming this should not be this funny-

Damn so does Ink5oul tattoo....pain or something? I don't have a tattoo myself (yet. I'm gonna get one. As soon as I stop being squeamish about needles. Oh. Needles.) But I don't think they're meant to hurt THAT much???

...I genuinely SHOULD NOT like Ink5oul this much. Please. You cannot do this to me I cannot have a Michael Part 2.

OH MY GOD ITS A YOUTUBER DRAMA VIDEO IM GOING TO FUCKING DIE I CANNOT BE LAUGHING THIS HARD.

I'm sorry THE SITUATIONSHIP FUCKING SENT ME YOU'RE TELLING ME INK5OUL IS IN A SITUATIONSHIP WITH A GOTH GIRL INFLUENCER PLEASE RUSTY QUILL I NEED TO BE SERIOUS I CANNOT DO THIS.

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD I CANNOT DO THIS I HAVE PAUSED 7 TIMES NOW JUST BECAUSE I WAS LAUGHING TOO HARD TO KEEP HEARING. INK5OUL IS HOT AND A GOTH CONFIRMED.

Shut up. SHUT UP. NOT FUCKING DIG. ARE YOU SERIOUS. NO WAY.

Also let me add all the video sound effects are taking me out I LITERALLY cannot do this PLEASE-

OH MY GOD. WAIT. IS THIS WHEN INK5OUL WAS LOOKING FOR THE BODY WITH THE TATTOO FROM EP 11. HOLY SHIT.

"Hell no i ain't gonna call it in" girl by making the video you are basically calling it in what the fuck

THE YOUTUBER DRAMA IS TAKING ME OUT PLEASE THIS IS SOME NICOCADO AVODACO VS STEPHANIE SOO TYPE SHIT (Stephanie Soo all the way honeyyyy).

So...Does Ink5oul have the ability to make people feel pain through the tattoos they do? It's seeming like that's the case.

"The views are cutting me" HUH???? THATS. LIKE. THE EDGES ARE CUTTING ME??? WHAT IS HAPPENING??? HELLO?????

IS SHE DYING. THATS HORRIBLE RN WHAT THE FUCK ALICE LITERALLY JUST SAW SOMEONE DIE NOW SHE HAS TO HEAR SOMEONE ELSE DIE????

Okay wait now that Sam has let go of his "be professional" bullshit I'm back on his track SAMALICELIA LETS GOOO

THERE SHE IS THE CORPORATE GIRLFAILURE

Ohhhh Lena. Oh boy. I can understand her tbh, Gwen has no idea what's happening and she's just doing her own thing. Whether she's evil or not, Lena still knows better what's going on and can avoid unnecessary risks. Especially since Lena does seem to care if other employees get hurt.

I SEE HOW IT IS GWEN. SO YOU'LL BE HORRIFIED BY MR. BONZO BUT NOT OF THE CANNIBALISTIC HUNTING WOMAN BECAUSE SHES A LADY OF THE ARISTOCRACY. CLASSISM AT ITS FINEST. I HATE MR. BONZO BUT AT LEAST HES A WORKING CLASS...CLOWN MONSTER THING.

Okay so the Externals are like. A Thing here. Kind of like avatars? I'm not saying in the sense of fears, I mean they're beings that are not human anymore and possibly dangerous.

Wait but I understand Gwen though "You can't take this away just because I did something you never bothered to tell me not to do" this happens to me so much Gwen my babygirl you are So Autistic.

I saw someone say that Gwen needs to be dommed. I cannot say I disagree, especially when Lena tells her to sit down. Anyway we're gonna move away from that thought.

I am not joking. I paused a total of 17 times throughout this episode because I started laughing too hard. I think I have a new favorite episode.

[eashgirl]

What are some things you hate about fandoms? Just wondering

There is quite a lot of things actually, I know some may disagree with me on these, which is perfectly fine to each their own.

1- I don't like how when some of the widely accepted fanon headcanons are treated as truth by everyone even though there is no basis for it in canon, I'm totally one for headcanons, I love seeing ideas,and creating them myself but I don't like how when one headcanon is so beloved by everyone that it's treated as canon and anybody else who has different opinions are shut down for not accepting that. Again I'm not objected to people having their own interpretations, but sometimes it really does get to a point when I try to point out it's not canon several people would attempt to correct me and say it was.

2- this part mainly concerns shipping, another thing I don't like about certain fandoms is they can't seem to accept that people will like different things as them, just because a certain ship is canon will not automatically make people like that ship more or stop them from shipping those said charecters with another person. Canon is canon I understand that, it's important to respect the creator's work and what has been established but at the same time the amount of times I've seen people deliberately writing hate comments under a post of a ship they don't like, and even create anti- blogs for the ship is insane.

Is it that hard to respect someone's opinion? Even I have certain ships I don't like and am even grossed out by(we are not talking about child/adult ships those are a whole another thing entirely),but the amount of dedication haters have to constantly put down others just to feel superior everytime I see something like that all I think about is how immature that is.

One time when I was thirteen I legit had one of my followers stalk me on instagram and screenshot a photo of a ship account I follow, that person hates that particular ship yet constantly checks accounts posting that particular ship just to write hate comments,they were blabbing about "ship loyalty and all that" I remember feeling so aggravated when they told me that, I instantly blocked them. It's that sort of childishness I'm talking about.

I'm open to discussing about opinions as long as it's a civil conversation, sometimes people just like different things, is it too much to expect some decency and respect?

3- Another thing that annoys me from time to time is the villainization of a particular charecter, evidence from the media does show that, that person has their flaws, major flaws and people act like that person is a devil's incarnate and anyone who has the audacity to feel a shred of sympathy for them is automatically labelled a horrible person.

Now I'm not suggesting at any means that trauma justifies your actions, no one has the right to harm anyone under that excuse,you can acknowledge the fact they are a horrible person and still feel bad for them because they are caught in a never ending cycle of abuse and are unable to escape it, this leads to them committing even worse actions.

Something else that ties into this is liking villains in general, it's important to understand that liking a certain charecter does not mean justifying their wrongdoings, you can like a charecter but still agree that yes this is a horrible person. This might seem like common sense but I have seen people trying to outright justify murder, SA, terrorism just because they happen to like that charecter. On the other hand there are certain villains who are objectively just as bad and are baby-fied because they happen to be more likable, when that person is just as bad.

Of course some topics may just feel too personal for people who have experienced it first hand I can understand that really I do, someone who went through a toxic relationship would probably not enjoy a relationship dynamic between two charecters that can be considered to very unhealthy for eachother. And some people may not prefer an otherwise sweet relationship if it's not enjoyable, we use media for entertainment and as humans we all have different preferences so it's important to understand and respect that

At the end of the day I'm not trying to villify anyone, I'm really not

Thanks for the ask anon! Hopefully this doesn't lead to me getting attacked again 😅

[sad-drake-lyrics]

alright, i’m having a lot of feelings™ about giyushino & i have to talk about it because otherwise i will implode. i’ve liked the idea of them together from s1, like most people who ship them seem to; but then i stopped thinking about them much due to obsession with other ships, and also because after their initial altercation on Mount Natagumo they don’t really get much screentime together, so i just lost interest.

but in my modern day obamitsu AU (you can find my ao3 link on my page!), i’m featuring giyushino as a background ship, & i am starting to catch fucking feelings myself from writing them. (if you head off to read the fic, there’s only two chapters posted so far & Giyuu + Shinobu are not in it yet, but will be very soon.)

so, here we go. gimme a moment to ramble about what inspired these HCs / character analyses before i get to the meat & potatoes.

street lights by killedmyself is one of my favourite songs despite the fact it being really more of a piece of audio art than a song - it’s mainly a movie dialogue sample mixed with sad boi lo-fi beats, but i play it all the time because it somehow hurts so good. so i was listening to it when thinking of the aforementioned modern AU, & i had an epiphany like “holy fuck, this is exactly how a giyushino relationship would go down, whether in a canon AU or any other story.”

the sample in the song is from No Strings Attached, a typical romantic comedy/drama about two close friends who have a deep understanding of each other and casually have sex, but the guy catches feelings and the girl wants nothing to do with a relationship.

(honestly, most people would probably find this movie boring - it’s a basic white het ship storyline; i only watched it because of the song, & the conversation in the song is literally the best part - otherwise the movie is hella bland & i wouldn't care if i never saw it again LOL so i’m def. not saying “go watch this” here.)

anyway, i’m listening to this song, and i’m like “omg, i can hear Giyuu & Shinobu saying every fucking line.”

basically, in my mind, Giyuu & Shinobu would start hooking up just for the sake of it - probably as a result of a quiet development of closeness born essentially out of convenience (they are always at the Ubuyashiki Estate together or working together), and then one night boning goes down. they’re attracted to each other; they like each other as people; and then the sex is good, so it keeps happening.

& very quickly, sad boi Giyuu, who is typically self-isolated and depressed, starts crushing hard. he’s alone and he’s desperate for human interaction and affection, even though he doesn’t realize it - and Shinobu is beautiful, and he admires her. plus they’re starting to have a lot of sex; & it’s pretty common for that to bloom some sense of love, ranging from base level attachment to infatuation to real feels - and it gets to the point where Giyuu wants to be with her.

but Shinobu doesn’t want the same thing. she cares about him (more than she can admit), but she’s fiercely independent and immensely dedicated to her work (with all her research and crafting of medicines & poisons). she puts this work above absolutely everything else with self-denying devotion - her happiness doesn’t matter; like she tells Tanjirou, she’s angry, and all that matters is success. a relationship for her would be a distraction, & she doesn’t need it - doesn’t want to deal with it; too many emotional ups & downs; too much drama; too much risk; too much intimacy with someone else, which actually terrifies her. so when Giyuu tells her he wants a relationship, she rejects him.

now let’s take the samples that slap me in the face with giyushino feels from street lights, which i can literally hear coming out of their fucking mouths.

Shinobu: You know me, this stuff freaks me out. It's fake. What’s wrong with what we’re doing? It’s working, we don’t have to fight -

Giyuu: Maybe I wanna fight.

Shinobu: Yeah, well I don’t.

Giyuu: What are you gonna do - you’re just never gonna feel anything? How are you gonna do that?

Shinobu: I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.

^ this exchange already starts murdering me because i feel like once Giyuu realizes he has legitimate feelings for Shinobu, and is wrestling with his own self-denial and inability to accept love from others because of how much he hates himself - he sees that Shinobu does the same thing - she doesn’t want to feel anything too deeply because she’s traumatized from Kanae’s death. she doesn’t want to love anyone else in a way that makes them more important than anything else (though, yes, we have to also acknowledge her love for Kanao here, but i imagine that's it for her - no more), so that she can’t experience loss again. she’s scared; she protects herself by being self-sufficient and dedicating herself to her work.

she's also stubborn asf, and sincerely believes in herself and what she's capable of, and so "I don't know. I'll figure it out." is literally what she would respond to this challenge.

Shinobu: I don’t need you to take care of me. I take care of myself. That’s what I do.

^ destroying me because this is exactly what Shinobu does. this is her MO; her armor.

Shinobu: Why don’t you go find some other girl who’s not gonna hurt you?

Giyuu: Because I love you.

^ help. why are they like this. it’s because Giyuu’s so alone, but when he feels, he feels deeply (seen even in his initially inexplicable sentimentality for Tanjirou & Nezuko from the beginning, all the way to when we finally hear his backstory with Sabito). he’s smart and intuitive, he can see right through Shinobu - right through everything she does to protect herself. he also doesn’t give up on people he cares about, and his sad boi meter is off the charts - he probably thinks he deserves rejection. plus we have Shinobu pushing everyone away so hard because she can’t handle it.

also going off the HC here that they’re casually hooking up throughout this: oh boy is this a mess of confusing emotions for both of them, both struggling to keep it bottled up, and Giyuu is clearly the weaker link. he just would be. he’s too sensitive.

Giyuu: It’s obvious, I completely love you - there. You’re such a wimp.

Shinobu: I am not!

Giyuu: Well then be with me.

^ why is this dialogue like, canon. it’s their personalities to a T - the way they push at each other in a way of making fun of each other; the way Giyuu is honest despite his problems with feelings; the way strong, independent Shinobu would be so offended at him calling her a wimp (which he totally would fucking say) - calling her out on how she blocks out feelings for others to stay focused on her mission so she can protect them, but so she also can’t get heartbroken, because she can’t go through that again.

*cough*

anyway. there’s my roughly 1k word count essay on how i envision a romantic giyushino dynamic. i’ll be trying to work this into my modern AU - but considering Giyuu and Shinobu are secondary characters, i don’t know how much i can explore this; still, i don’t have the full fic planned out, so nothing’s off the table.

but seriously, this shit hits me in my gut so hard i could probably write an entire fic about them just on this premise lol.

anyway, yeah. woke up at 7:30, made a cup of coffee, sat down on the computer and just wrote this essay out of nowhere in an hour because suddenly giyushino is also ruining my life.

[generalallxsanjishipper]

Icon made by: me

Hi! Welcome.

This is Generalallxsanjishipper's blog

(A long ass nick, I know.)

*stares at the (not many) but 100% "Yes" votes that was in the poll* (How the hell am I supposed to introduce myself? I have no idea, but okay, whatever—)

Killian here! It's not my real name, but it's my art name. I can be called Isa or Bibi as well. My real name is Barbara.

I'm from Italy and I'm a 2001 girl, She/her pronouns, bisexual, introverted, Virgo (too much of a perfectionist sometimes. Ops)

I am a Writer, a Screenwriter and an Artist. I even went to an art school, but the only thing that I learned there is anxiety. Yey.

I love reading. Like tons of books, but for whatever reason I stopped entirely reading books written in Italian and now I'm constantly binge-reading english stuff.

As a Writer, I create tons of Own Characters, yes. I have honestly so many OCs that it's hard to keep track of them between Original Works and Fanfiction. I have to admit that I never wrote as much fanfiction as I'm doing during those last years, mostly for bad experience with criticism in my first fics. But apparently I got over it after randomly starting to write little One Shots of a few different fandoms. It excalated, now.

To read my stuff, you can find me in AO3, Efp and Wattpad under Killian44peeta's nickname. Even as an Artist, you can find me with that nickname on Instagram. I DO NOT have TikTok and I DO NOT intend to have it. If I change my mind, it's gonna rain for months lol.

I have many, many fandoms.

Listing them all is impossible, but my obsessions usually stuck the most when I have a "main crush" in said fandom. If not, they are fleeting at best... And usually the same main crush is the one that I ship with most people (Not always though).

Yep. I'm a multishipper, pro LGBTQ+ and I love polyamorous relationships.

When I hate a ship, I just hate it. No matter how hard you try to change my mind. Still, I'm of the "live and let live policy" because, damn, ship wars are boring and if you dislike something, YOU BLOODY IGNORE IT.

YOU DO NOT STUPIDLY FIGHT SOMEONE AND SAY TO THEM TO K*LL THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY DO NOT SHIP YOUR PAIRING. THOSE PEOPLE YOU SHIP DO NOT EXIST. THEY ARE JUST A WRITER'S FANTASY. NO NEED TO BE SO STUPIDLY CHILDISH. JUST CALM DOWN.

*takes a deep breath*

Thanks.

A few examples of my main crushes:

Animated ones first.

Sanji, Corazon, Reiju and Vivi (One Piece), Douxie (Tales of Arcadia), Zuko (Avatar), Mika (Owari No Seraph), Levi, Jean and Yelena (Shingeki no Kyojin), Akashi and Kise(Kuroko no basket), Gwen (Total Drama), Megara (Hercules), Dark Bloom (Winx Club), Hijikata (Gintama), Hyoga, Eden, every Virgo Saint ever except Shun (Saint Seiya+), Shiro and Pidge (Voltron), Lust and Roy(Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood)

Not animated crushes (directly the person, not the role, because if not the list would be sooo much longer, ok)

Daniel Sharman, Danielle Campbell, Colin O'donoghue, Richard Armitage, Ian Somerhalder, Josh Hutcherson, Zoe Kravitz, Tom Ellis, Hayden Christensen, Bridgette Mendler

(am I forgetting someone? Probably. Sorry)

Welp. I dunno what else to say. Hope you have fun inside my blog? If you wanna be friends (chat here, on Discord, WhatsApp... ) and ask questions I'm okay with it? If you wanna talk with me about (my, yours) stories, I'm DEFINITELY okay with it.

:D I love to rant about fanfictions and original works. I love ranting about ocs and headcanon about characters. Yes.

(do not kill me if I don’t answer immediately, I have a life/I need time to draw/I need time to write)

Bye.

-Killian

[liquorisce]

monster

rating: g

ao3

summary: Post Canon. A letter from Armin to Mikasa telling her that he is coming to visit, and Mikasa's response.

...

Dear Mikasa, 

How are you? Sorry, I suppose that is a difficult question to answer, but I think about it often. After everything. Every night when I wake up in a sweat, toes dipped in a pool of blood, I think of how you must be feeling. Do you dream of this too? Of him? In my dreams sometimes he is as we saw him last, big and cruel and with lifeless eyes, sometimes there is a punch to my gut and he shoves me to my knees and hurts me. But other times he is small, we both are— the three of us— and his hand extends to mine, to help me catch up to the both of you. We are running up the hill and it is beautiful, like it was when we were younger. But in the end, he is always dead. That isn’t a dream, though huh. It’s reality. I sound silly I suppose— a bit like Eren, sometimes I can’t tell what’s real and what isn’t.

Anyway, I am okay. It’s not all bad. I really wanted to tell you, it felt kind of insane to have you not know. The nights have gotten easier for me, when I wake now I don’t feel like screaming  anymore. Don’t get me wrong: the nightmares do not leave me easily, there is far too much blood on my hands for that. But I don’t feel alone in them anymore. When I wake there is a hand in mine, a warm body next to me, someone who sees these terrors behind closed eyes and understands them. What I’m trying to say— God, it’s embarrassing to admit it, is that Annie and I… Well, you knew already didn’t you? Annie told me that you knew. That you took one look at her and knew her feelings. I kind of envy that, to be honest. I wish I could have looked at her and just known. It would’ve saved a lot of fumbling and stupidity on my part. But anyway, it’s not like we had time for romance then. Even now it feels weird calling it that— I feel guilty. So many people probably never got the time for romance, they were killed. By us. Neither did Eren— well I don’t have to tell you about it. 

When I first knew that I liked her, I was a mess— we knew nothing back then, titans were monsters, so far removed from us, the foreigner, the enemy, the invader. I was in love with a monster and it should’ve repulsed me, but it didn’t. When you looked the other way I went down to the cellars and poured my heart out to her. And then I became a monster and I suppose it all equaled out in the end. But that’s the thing, Mikasa— nobody made me a monster, I always was. At the end of the day, nobody painted the blood on my hands, I dirtied them. It was my fault Eren became the way he did, did you know that? I showed him those books, I made him do what he did and then I couldn’t save him— God, I’m sorry, Annie says I should stop saying things like this, that it’s not my fault, and some days I believe her, but most days I don’t. Today isn’t one of those days. Sorry, it must seem pointless to keep talking about this, but what I mean to say is that it is always on my mind. The human cost of my survival, I mean. I am alive, and safe— and in love, even— and I don’t often feel like I deserve it. On bad days, when I close my eyes Bertholdt is looking at me, into my eyes, into my skull, he can see my every thought. He can see me living the life he was supposed to live, holding the hands of the girl he was supposed to love. But on good days, and it is hard to keep repeating this to myself, I tell myself that I deserve it. Because I need to keep moving forward. Because I sat next to Eren when he knew was about to die and watched him cry because he knew wouldn’t get to live a long life with you, with us. You understand what I’m saying, don’t you? We deserve to be happy. I want to be happy, I want you to be happy. I wish I could see you and know you were doing okay. 

In two weeks, I will board a ship— Annie and Jean and Connie and Reiner and Pieck, they are coming too— for Paradis. We will visit Historia. I know you don’t want to be part of this anymore, I know you just want to rest. But I hope I’ll get to see you. We’ll be visiting the headquarters for a week. Please come see me, Mikasa. I miss you.

Love, Armin

...

Armin, 

This is the fourth letter I’m writing to you, all previous attempts are now in the trash. I miss you so much. I wish we could all live in the same town again. I wish I could invite you and Annie for dinner. Yes, I could hear you gushing through your letter, and it makes me happy that you both are happy. But please don’t call yourself a monster, Armin. You were never a monster  in my eyes. Annie, on the other hand… 

… Just kidding. 

You asked me a question and I don’t quite know how to answer it. How am I feeling? I don’t know. On some days I barely know that I’m alive. I built myself a house on the edge of the forest, and when I was building it I had something to do. Something to keep my hands busy. The days would be tiring and the nights sleepless. Armin, this is going to sound very strange to you but after I came here, I felt as if I didn’t know how to be alone. I didn’t know how to sleep alone. I didn’t know how to cook alone, I didn’t know how to walk alone. Well maybe it isn’t strange, because all our lives we have been together. I have never truly been alone before this. But my loneliness is now particularly difficult: it is as if, for each day prior to that day, I had a different life. For four long years, I had Eren. Did he tell you that? That we lived together? That I woke up to him and went to sleep with his arm around my waist? That when I cooked he would stand behind me, or chop the vegetables or go fish, and when I slept before him, he made sure to cover me with blankets? I didn’t know it when I told you I was leaving, but it is the loneliness that feels most disorienting. For so many years, I have never known what it is like for Eren to not be by my side. And even for that brief time, when he left me to go to Marley, I was still reaching for him.  Now I have nowhere to reach, nothing to reach for. The bed is cold, and I need to chop firewood myself, if I want to be warm. Nobody cares if I am cold and tired. I have nobody to care for. 

You talk about good days and bad days: On bad days I am awake but I cannot find the strength to do anything, I feel like I am drowning in my tears. On good days my eyes are closed and they only open in dreams– dreams where Eren is still with me. We go down to the creek to fish together and get tired of waiting so we go for a swim. On cold nights, we sit by the fireplace with a warm blanket and the heat of his body and I convince myself I will never be  cold again. I hear him call my name, and I feel like my being has a purpose, a meaning, and things make sense to me. On other days I feel like I am only half-alive, my body carries itself to the market, it buys food to keep itself alive, my body takes out the right change to pay the woman at the vegetable cart, says hello to the son of the baker who tells me I need to eat more— apparently I look weak, I was never weak before this, I used to be strong.

I don’t really question if I deserve to be happy. I don’t know if I can be. I don’t know if I have it in me to move this body, this soul, without the immense burden of loss. Inside me there is a pit, a black hole, and I don’t know if happiness will survive inside it. But it makes me happy that you are happy. Your letter made me smile. Of course I will visit you. Please keep writing to me, Armin. I cannot wait to see you.

Yours,

Mikasa

[mzannthropy]

Hi! I like your opinions on different topics. I am a new fan of Sam Claflin, I didn't know him before I watched Me before you, only because I was scrolling my Pinterest and I saw one of his pictures from Love Rosie, He was looking too handsome in that picture, I didn't even knew his name, Look how underrated he is nowadays, I searched for the film and got to know about him. Then I started watching his films last Summer. I became his fan, I appreciate his acting talent and his good looks😌 I have never watched The Hunger Games before but for him I watched the entire franchise in just a couple of days. Recently I watched Daisy Jones and the Six. I watched the show first and I was so hooked by it, that I just started to live in that show. But when I reviewed it on YouTube I saw people recommended to read the book too, I read it, and now My whole perspective just changed, I used to Ship Billy and Daisy before reading the book, And when I filled my brain with original Djats stuff, I started hating my shipping and Now I'm worshipping Camila like a Goddess. I have no question actually I just wanted to share my feelings with someone so I write it here.🤗

How come he never selected as a sexiest man alive for People magzine??😫

Have you seen the things I say, lolololololol. No, srsly, thanks for stopping by.

I've been a Sam Claflin fan for 4 years now, so not that long, considering his career. I already knew he was a good actor before I truly got into him (I had already seen him in Peaky Blinders which is one of his best performances). Some day I will write my history, maybe.

What you say about shipping in DJATS is interesting. The show went all in with the Daisy and Billy ship which made me feel like I wandered in from a different dimension by mistake. Maybe I just don't get the story, or idk, but not only did I never see anything there, I don't understand why I should. I didn't know anything about Fleetwood Mac or that relationship either (I still don't know what went on with those two bc I intentionally keep myself ignorant, but at least I've listened to the music, and I saw Stevie Nicks live a couple of weeks ago). I was really surprised, not only by the widespread popularity of the D/B ship, but also the rabidity of the shippers. I think it must be the music that makes people so insane (I heard that shipping wars were very bad on Glee). As you've read the book now, you will know that it was much more ambiguous and it was up to the reader to decide whether anything happened or not. I always took it at its word, bc 1. I didn't think it was the type of the story that was supposed to be ambiguous and 2. I don't think TJR is that great a writer to pull it off. (She's not bad, don't get me wrong, she's just not that outstanding). Like, DJATS is not a gothic novel like, e.g. My Cousin Rachel, which never answers the mystery with regards to Rachel's guilt. As you know, Sam starred in the adaptation of this book and if you've watched it, you will know that the films is faithful to this--which proves that a screen adaptation can remain as ambiguous as the book it's adapting, so people who say the DJATS the series showed what really happened are talking out of their ass. Basically, the DJATS writers wanted to serve the D/B shippers so hard they screwed up the story. And Billy's character, bc how the hell are you going to present a married man having an affair with his coworker positively. I still have a lot of resentment over all of it, and I honestly think that show broke something in me (it got to the point that I had to question whether I still should be following Sam) but I weathered that storm and better things are coming. Billy Dunne was a transformative role for Sam and it was life changing for him on a personal level, as he said in many interviews, that's why I keep saying it doesn't matter that he didn't get nominated for an Emmy. He would never have scored the Count of Monte Cristo role had he not gone through the Billy Dunne role.

Worshipping Camila as a goddess, as it should be, lol. Two of the changes I liked were 1. the way they met, I've always wanted to write a meet cute at a launderette and 2. that they made Camila a photographer. Sure, they ended up doing fuck all with it, but that's what imagination and headcanons are for. Also she had such nice outfits.

I'm afraid, though, that I have some very unpopular opinions. I think I need to re-do my pinned post and put a disclaimer there to make it clear from the start, bc although I avoid posting hate (I try to concentrate on love instead), I cannot not express myself when I need to and I don't want there to be any confusion and I can't lie, so... oh dear... inhales... so, I have some... actually a lot... of problems with the other media you mentioned. Finnick's cool and all that, but I can dunk on Hunger Games till the sun goes down and then start again when it comes up. As for the other two... let me just say there is a reason I call myself a heretic of the Sam fandom (and why I keep to myself like the outcast I am).

My tag for everything Sam related is #samblogging, so you can check that out if you want to. I talk about him a lot.