#I can really imagine parallel worlds where they are together

[goldiecastelia]

WHY ARE THERE SO FEW SHŌGUN (Not just romance but any kind) FANFICS!?

Like, the series is incredible, I'm grateful that my stepfather introduced this wonderful series to me, and in my opinion, the main couple is great (and sad, very tragic), but it's scary how I had to struggle to find a Mariko x John fanfic relay (does anyone have a name for this ship? I thought of something related to the sea, but I'm not sure), and with the current four episodes, it is now possible for the fanfic writers's troubled minds to create a fanfic of at least two thousand words, seriously, they deserve it! I can think of possibilities, like, what if it was an alternate universe?

What if Mariko ended up in England for God knows what? I really don't know why I thought this, just that it would be a very sudden role reversal.

What if Toranaga had appointed her to be John's consort? I mean, the moment Buntaro died, a widow was born, in this case, Mariko!

What if she was married to someone other than Buntaro? I wish she wasn't married but knowing ancient Japan as it was...

What if Fuji's husband and baby hadn't died? I mean, damn that scene made me cry, it was a little baby, I wish I could change that.

What if Mariko's father hadn't died? I know we know almost nothing about him at the moment, but moments of reflection.

What if (again, alternate universe) there was magic involved in the story? I mean, it's ancient Japan, this is the perfect time to let your knowledge of Japanese legends run wild!

If John had done something and been able to recognize Mariko in the dim light of their night in their room?

What if Mariko ended up sleeping there and he woke up and confirmed it was her?

What if it took place in the modern world? I don't know about you, but I love fanfics that portray a modern setting, it's really cool, for me, Toranaga would almost end up being a politician!

What if (this one touches on the system of power, hierarchy and structural status of women in ancient Japanese society) Mariko had a higher position and was someone even more trustworthy than Toranaga?

What if John and Mariko had met before (through misfortune or any other factor of fate) and had some relationship? Like in a theater!

I literally developed an entire story from scratch just to make these two have a daughter (her name is Umi — I haven't decided if I'll keep that one yet — she has blue eyes, wavy hair and is completely Japanese, a Mariko's mini copy) and develop a whole material with this chaos! I know that the story is focused on politics, and not on romance, I know, but you can never dream too much and I like it when you know how to keep the fragile line of politics-romance well. I just hope there are more fanfics about them, I need fanfics about them!!

[comradekatara]

do you have a masterpost of "ty lee comes from crypto-air nomad" posts? I'm fascinated by this idea and want to read everything I can but I can't find where it started 😭

i feel like this is a question better posed to @kyoshi-lesbians, who, at least in my book, is the leading expert in ty lee studies (among other things). that said, i can definitely synthesize the argument (and why i find it cogent and persuasive), even if i don't actually know from where the theory originated (but i'm sure that if you look up "ty lee air nomad you'll immediately be directed to an old reddit page or fan forum from years ago; it's a "theory" that goes way back).

firstly, ty lee's appearance is distinctly "air nomadic" in a way no one else's is. save for aang, of course. she and aang do bear an uncanny resemblance. everyone else in the fire nation has yellowish brown eyes, for example, while ty lee, like aang, has charcoal greyish brown eyes. and they also have similar (round and cute) facial features, similar expressions, similar vibes. similar dispositions...

ty lee does not "have the personality" of a ruthless fire nation soldier, despite acting as the princess's right hand who takes out more opponents than pretty much everyone else put together. ty lee acts like an airbender, flirty and flighty. her relentless optimism and goodwill and cheer is decidedly a mask, but it is a mask she adopts adeptly. even if she is performing, she nonetheless performs the "aang" function of her respective group.

ty lee presents herself as more spiritually attuned than other people in the fire nation, who outright disrespect the spirits and spirituality. her constant talk of auras is likely a calculated move on her part, as nearly everything is, to make her seem silly and trivial, because she thrives best when she goes underestimated. but her talk of auras also has to come from somewhere, and seeing as literally no one else mentions auras once throughout the entire show, ty lee's sources are clearly scarce.

ty lee also fights like an airbender. despite generally taking the offensive, ty lee nonetheless exhibits a graceful, acrobatic quality when in combat. she never kills anyone either, merely incapacitates them momentarily. and when she is faced with stronger than typical opponents, she usually relies on her skills as an acrobat by taking the aerial advantage. note her ability to jump incredibly high, such as in "the chase," or her ability to run along a moving cable wire in "the boiling rock." ty lee's skills go beyond merely being a good acrobat. she's incredible. and perhaps even exhibiting some latent airbending skills she inherited from her ancestors.

ty lee's air nomad ancestry coheres really well with her arc as a character. imagining that her family of genocide survivors hid in the heart of the fire nation and assimilated into the imperialist culture that sought to exterminate them makes her own role that much more impactful. there's already a beautiful parallelism to the fact that ty lee is an acrobat and performer who contorts herself to suit the desires of others and performs obsequious loyalty for her own survival, but an extra layer of depth is added if she's also assimilating into the royal court by reducing herself and hiding her true feelings and motivations, just as her family did.

i see ty lee's ancestors as having assimilated into the imperial core out of fear, but over the generations, genuinely being subsumed into fire nation culture, with the desire to social climb a natural extension of their patriotism. but there are also still facets of ty lee's ancestry, whether genetic or otherwise, that have remained in traces. the generational trauma, for example, definitely reflects why her parents had so many children. and the fact that she's constantly torn between two worlds, as a genocide survivor who also directly serves the imperialists who murdered her ancestors, represents her internal struggle as someone who desires freedom of expression and the choice to assert her individuality, but is also forced through circumstance into lying and deflecting and manipulating (which, to be honest, is also the air nomad way) for the sake of survival.

surviving is ty lee's number one priority, in a way it just isn't for mai. mai and ty lee both come from social climbing families (although i've always assumed that mai's family is far wealthier than ty lee's) but mai is also depressed and frustrated and bored out of her mind. and even though she was raised in a family that forced her to don a mask and reduce herself and perform a passive model of femininity, she also has no problem stating aloud how she's feeling and what her limits are (with the exception of when azula gives her a veiled command as a test, and mai has no choice but to obey).

mai has the privilege of knowing that the stakes don't really matter, which she all but states when she claims that she grew up in luxury and opulence, and always had everything handed to her. which isn't to say that she led a perfect, easy life. she wouldn't be as depressed and repressed as she is if there weren't factors actively harming her, but she still chooses to join azula by choice, even if it's really only the illusion of choice between two awful options, whereas ty lee has to be coerced through violence.

mai kind of has a "fuck it we ball" attitude and doesn't really seem to care about her own safety (if anything, she's more concerned with comfort), whereas ty lee would do anything to ensure her survival. and that kind of mentality illustrates how she differs from most of the fire nation elites, who were inculcated into imperial privilege and never really considered what prioritizing survival even entails (zuko learns that lesson the hard way). ty really exhibits the mentality of the genocide victim/colonized subject through her prioritization of survival in the face of what to mai is a problem, but to ty lee is an existential threat.

whether or not ty lee even recognizes that her desperate desire to live comes from a place of generational grief and trauma is another story, but i do think there is something to be said for the fact that descendants of genocide survivors can feel that grief as it has been passed down to them. i think ty lee feels it, and i think that it motivates her to do whatever it takes to live, because above all, she is a survivor. and even if she has to assimilate and manipulate and cut away every part of herself that's real and authentic and true, she will do it (until she doesn't). and that's also, incidentally, what makes her such a great foil to aang.

[olenvasynyt]

Parallels between Gwyn and Az

People don’t often realize this, but Gwyn and Az have a lot of things in common.  And imo, it points to Gwynriel.  So let’s talk about it!

Dynamics with Nesta

They have similar dynamic with Nesta.  It’s not identical but neither of them shy away from her bluntness like others do.  They both seem to admire it and at some points, it gets Gwyn and Az to open up.

Page 251 of ACOSF: “Nesta watched the shadowsinger with a frankness that most people shied from. Azriel returned the look with the stillness that most people ran from.”

Page 114 of ACOSF: “ I don’t need to be coddled.  Only spoken to like a person.”  “I doubt you’ll enjoy the way I speak to most people.” Nesta said. “Gwyn snorted.  “Try me.”  Nesta looked at her from under lowered brows again.  “Get out of my sight.” Gwyn grinned, a broad, bright thing that showed up most of her teeth and made her eyes sparkle in a way Nesta knew her own never had. “Oh, you’re good.” Gwyn turned back to the stacks.  “Really good.”

Page 101 of ACOSF: “I hope you’re not giving my brother a hard time.”“Is that a threat, Shadowinger?” Azriel said coolly, “I don’t need to resort to threats.” Nesta gave him a smile, holding his stare.  “Neither do I.”

Page 348 of ACOSF: “Nesta scowled, and Az offered her a slight smile.  They could be allies, that smile seemed to say.  Against Cassian’s utter insanity.  She found herself answering Azriel with a slight smile of her own.”

Competitiveness

 They’re both competitive.  Cassian says that Az gets really competitive, and you can see the competitiveness in the bonus chapter where he has his plot to win the snowball fight.  

Page 254 of ACOSF: “Azriel had a vicious competitive streak.  Wasn’t boastful or arrogant… or possessive and terrifying…No, it was quiet and cruel and utterly lethal.”

Gwyn is super competitive with cutting the ribbon and when the Valkyries are doing the obstacle courses.  

Page 624 of ACOSF: “Roslin, Ananke, and Deirdre were close on their heels, propelling Gwyn to push her group harder.  She wanted to be the first.  Wanted Nesta and Emerie and her to be the ones who wiped the smirks from Azriel’s and Cassian’s faces.  Especially Azriel.”

Knowledge

They both get pretty fascinated by things, they both like to learn stuff. Cassian said that Az was really fascinated by the solar system and other-worldly stuff Rhys likes to research.  

Page 37 of ACOSF: “At the far end of the room, a little dias led into a broad raised alcove…and in its center, a massive, working model of their world, the stars and planets around it…Az, of course, had been fascinated.”

Trauma / light and darkness

Quote page 113 of ACOSF: “If marks of trauma lingered, any evidence was hidden by her robe.  But Nesta knew how invisible wounds could be how they could scars deeply and badly as any physical breaking.” 

This is a really big one: Gwyn’s healing seems like the kind of healing Az had.  Az was hidden in darkness and he was brought to the Illyrian camps which might have been the first time he saw true light in a while.  He found Cassian and Rhys who took him in and they trained together. And Gwyn hid herself in the library for years and saw true light for the first time in a while and trained with Nesta and Emerie and found true healing and confidence in herself.

This quote really got me:

Quote page 272 of ACOSF: “Gwyn’s hands were shaking as she took another step into the ring and peered into the open bowl of the sky.  The first time she’d been outside—truly outside—in years.  She met Nesta’s gaze and smiled.  "I forgot how it feels to have the full sun upon my head.  Forgive me if I spend some time gawking at the sky.”

I can just imagine Az having a similar reaction when he’s at the Illyrian camps for the first time.  A little 11 year old unsure of how to hold his wings up right just…looking up at the sky.  And he’s hiding his hands.

The main difference with this is Az was locked up in the darkness and Gwyn chose to be in the darkness, but I think the fact that light and darkness are key parts of their healing process is important to note.

Fear of making mistakes, and their loyalty to loved ones

Another super significant thing about them is their sense of loyalty to the people who took them in, and their fear of making mistakes and failing.

This quote from Gwyn really got me because it just screams Azriel to me.

Quote page 148 of ACOSF: “because I don’t like to fail I can’t…” Gwyn shook her head.  “I don’t want to make any more mistakes.” “These females took me in. Give me shelter and healing and family.” Again, her large eyes darkened.  “I cannot stand to fail them in anything.”

That just seems so much like Az.  Rhys and Cassian took him in, gave him shelter and healing and family, so he’s super loyal and he hates when he fails them.  Az seems to often feel guilty when one of the plans goes wrong; he thinks he didn’t do as much as he could have.

Page 346 of ACOWAR: ”Hybern had made its grand move at last.  And we had not anticipated it.  I knew Azriel would take the blame upon himself.  One look at the shadowsinger…told me he already did.”

Unworthiness 

Another thing is they feel unworthy.  You can see this with Gwyn and her invoking stone she says she doesn’t deserve to wear it, she is ashamed of her history and is afraid of people finding out things that she hates about herself.

Quote page 173 of ACOSF: “Why don’t you wear that stone on your head like the others?”  Gwyn pocketed the gem.  “Because I don’t deserve to.”

Page 521 of ACOSF: “I understand,” Gwyn repeated, “what it is to fail the people who mean the most.  To live in fear of people finding out.  I dread you and Emerie learning my history.  I know that once you do, you’ll never look at me the same again.”

Page 696 of ACOSF: “But even training these months hasn’t erased the fact that I let my sister die.  You asked me once why I don’t wear the hood of the Invoking Stone.  That stone is a sign of holiness.  How can someone like me wear it?”

That’s just so similar to Az I feel like, specifically this quote in the bonus chapter where he feels like his hands are tainted and that he’s unworthy of touching her.

ACOSF bonus chapter: “She looked up at him, her face so trusting and hopeful and open that he knew she had no idea that he had done unspeakable things that sullied his hands far beyond their scars.  Such terrible things that it was a sacrilege for his fingers to skin, tainting her with his presence. 

He also feels guilty for not doing enough, to fail the people around him.  You see this with Mor a lot.

Page 429 of ACOWAR:  ”As Azriel turned his face toward me—The frozen rage rooted me to the spot.  But beneath it, I could almost see the images that haunted him: the hand Mor had yanked away, her weeping, distraught face as she had screamed at Rhys.”

Now kind of diverting from the topic: I see people make debates about why Gwyn thinks she’s unworthy.  There are theories that she’s actually an inside spy for Koschei and maybe she feels guilty for that but there’s literally a quote that says she thinks she let her sister die and that she’s guilty that she lived and her sister didn’t.  I dislike the evil Gwyn theories, I think they’re gross.  I also kind of think her SA made her felt tainted, that’s a very common thing among SA survivors.  

Coping skills / being unbreakable 

And this is kind of a looser connection than the others I mentioned but we see moments from both where they tell themselves that they are unbreakable or hard to break.  When Gwyn cut the ribbon, she quoted the Valkyrie mindstilling technique:

Page 621 of ACOSF: “I am the rock against which the surf crashes.  Nothing can break me.”

"Nothing can break me" is something that Gwyn added, it was not part of the original Valkyrie passage.  And it reminded me of something that Az says to Feyre when they are doing their flying lessons in ACOWAR.  

Azriel tells Feyre Page 305 ACOWAR: “You’re immortal.  You’re very hard to break.  That’s what I told myself.”

The Blood Rite, friendships, and healing journey

And this similarty pertains to the Valkyries and the batboys in general, not solely Az and Gwyn, but the Valkyries during the blood rite is a reflection of the batboys during their blood rite.  It was the beginning of their journey when it came to healing and finding their strength and proving people wrong.  It was a pivotal point in their friendships, both groups fought like hell to reach each other.  

Page 693 of ACOSF: “I don’t want to take the safe road.  I want to take that road.  To prove to them, to everyone, that something new and different might triumph over their rules and regulations.”

And this is the start of Gwyn’s journey, this is the start of her friendship with Nesta and Emerie, who have become very important to her. She’s still struggling with her fears, she tells Nesta that she might come out of the library to go to her mating ceremony.  

And Az is kind of similar.  He has had centuries to heal and be with his brothers.  But he is absolutely still healing, he’s got tons of issues to sort out still.  You can say they’re aloof and they lock themselves up in a similar way: he doesn’t seem to want to go out to bars and parties unless his friends go.  

Page 377 of ACOMAF: “And when I pointed out that he did go to Rita’s with her whenever she asked, Mor simply informed me that it had taken her four centuries to get him to do that.”

He seems content to brood but he opens up because of his friends.

Differences

There are obviously tons of differences, I think the main ones being Gwyn is significantly more joyful than Az, she smiles and laughs a lot while it’s very rare to see Az smile or laugh.  He’s super broody and aloof.  Gwyn seems to open up a lot more easily.  She has a lot of hope.  She doesn’t seem to want to suppress herself.  Even though she struggles she is trying to break free.  

Page 524 of ACOSF: “ Nesta had never heard a voice like Gwyn’s—by turns trained and wild, as if there was so much sound fighting to break free of Gwyn, but she couldn’t quite contain it all. As if the sound needed to be loose in the world.”

And with Az: literally impossible to get him to confess anything.  There are a lot of things that Cassian doesn’t know about his brother.  He is content to brood.  He shuts his feelings down until they build up to a point where they almost explode sometimes.  There are some points where he suppresses his shadows on purpose, I feel like.  I don’t know how his shadows work but he can control them at some points.

I feel like whether or not you believe these parallels point to Gwynriel, you can’t deny that they are very similar and can be very good friends and heal together because of that. 

But also, Gwynriel is endgame 🤷‍♀️

[irmise]

I dreamed about you

After so many years of waiting, here is finally the epilogue of this love story... And of course, Michonne occupies all his thoughts, she is his strength in trying to escape, the letters he writes to her, the drawings of her allow him to keep a little hope even when everything seems desperate. He is ready to cut off his hand to escape because whatever happens, his wife, his daughter will always remain his only  choice.

From their first interaction in TOWL, we see a parallel with their last: both moments come straight from Rick's imagination and they both highlight the importance that Michonne has in his life.

Rick was left hallucinating on that bridge telling Michonne that she was his family and that he had found her. Michonne telling him why she fell in love with him, because he never gave up. Even in agony, he remembers that she believes in him. It's seeing her that gives him the strength to get up and try to fight one last time.

And now, torn from his family, it's her he dreams about, in a world without apocalypse, he dreams of what could have been their first meeting. Michonne appears to show him the road to take when he is lost, she believes in him to find his way.

Isn’t that what she’s always done? The one who believed in him when everyone else doubted, when HE doubted himself. She didn't have to be on the same page to know that he would always do what was right in the end. She always showed him the right direction. I remember writting on an old post: "Rick guides Alexandria, Michonne guides Rick" : She always believed in his leadership and she was his compass to guide him and she still is in his dream.

That’s the most beautiful here, in a single dream we find their dynamic, the one we have seen since the start of their journey.

Are you where you want to be ? That's the whole question. Where he wants to be is close to her, it's where he feels safe, it's near her that he feels stronger. So much so that this place he is looking for in this dream no longer matters because he found her.

She became his family, his reason to be happy and to believe in the future even after the darkest times, even after Carl. She once asked him “Don’t you want one more day with a chance?” and he agreed to follow her and hold on to a little hope. And today, even far from her, it’s dreaming of her that keeps him going.

The second dream bears so many parallels too, Michonne with her white dress, like the dream of what a happy ending would have been for Rick in an ideal world.

It made me think about Glenn's death when Rick imagined this moment with all the family he had created in this apocalyptic world. I thought of this scene because of the white dress Michonne was wearing. I remember that at that time, I said to myself that there must be something symbolic in him imagining her in a white dress.

And there we are, her wearing a white dress again and him asking her to marry him. Michonne, his wife, that's his purpose...

The two of them can get through anything and even in his dreams it's a certainty. Together they are invicible by the strength that each gives to the other: "We can make this whole damn world ours if we want to". Like an echo of what he had said to her one day, when nothing seemed impossible with her by his side... “The world’s ours, and we know how to take it”.

He needs her to get there even if it's only in a dream because as she tells him before he wakes up, she believes in him as always...

And that's the problem… All his dreams, his letters, these drawings on these phones, are so many hopes that he must erase if he really wants to be able to become the "savior" that Okafor asks him to be. Agree to forget the love of his life to try to save as many people as possible, sacrificing the little hope he had left. Because even if he found a way to escape, he would put her and their family in danger if only because Okafor found his letter... Rick finally understands that he must give up. And that's also what this episode was about, Rick who gradually loses hope of finding his family, to the point of wanting to kill himself, to the point of no longer dreaming of Michonne, to the point of destroying everything which allowed him to fight.

So desperate that when Michonne takes off his helmet in the last scene he has his eyes closed ready to accept his fate until he opens his eyes and faces hope.

And that's their story isn't it ? She always appears when he's lost, to guide him.

[cocogrrrl]

HIIIIIII ugh ur writings are so freakin good and so fun to read it makes me AHHHH could I request kyle, stan, and kenny (separate) with a f!reader that can’t control her facial expressions at all so she’s pretty much an open book? Maybe have the reader be an artist so when she’s drawing she’s like 🤩😙🙁😋🤨😱😐 THANK UUUUU

expressions

(headcannons + drabbles!) the main three's separate reaction to their artist gf who is very expressive whenever they draw (requested!)

main three (separate) x female!reader no cws wc: 1007 overall

an: omg its my first time writing in an hc listed format also the drabbles are a lot more artist gf than the expressive thing sorry huhuuu (also i forgot to reply to the ask last time i took up a request LMAO)

🍀 k. broflovski (wc: 330)

He really wants to comment on it, but doesn’t wanna bother you

I don’t mean that in a bad way! I just think that he finds it entertaining to see your mood and facial expressions shift around a lot

Like okay imagine you two parallel playing, both of you off in your own worlds

Kyle looks up at you to see you go from happy to frustrated to upset to shocked all in the span of a few seconds

He definitely finds it adorable and just basks in it by the side

Completely forgets what he was doing cause you’re just so gosh darn cute awwww

You were lying face down, arms holding you up, on his bed. You were tasked to make landscapes of any place but from different perspectives and views. To be honest, you were struggling a little bit. Backgrounds and scenery aren’t quite your strong points, but that didn’t mean you weren’t trying! You were lying down there, tongue poking out as you focused really hard to get the drawing looking at least a little bit realistically correct. You were real deep into it that you didn’t even realize Kyle was watching you until you heard a soft giggle in the back, which immediately made your head whip up. “Hmmm?” You hummed, questioning what he was laughing about. “Ah, it’s nothing.” He smiled at your curiosity. The look of amusement on his face was still there, so you had a hint of what was going on. “You’re just really pretty." You felt your cheeks heat up, giddily smiling to yourself as you felt your legs kicking back and forth in happiness. “Thank you…” You hummed. He only laughed more in return. “Don’t thank me.” He said, lifting your head up by the chin with his fingers as he placed a little kiss on your nose.

🍁 k. mccormick (wc: 360)

FINDS IT SO CUTE

but definitely teases you about it like

“You should take up acting, YN. You’re really good at changing emotions.”

Do you know how some people make facial expressions and random body movements for reference while drawing?

When he sees it for the first time, with no context whatsoever, he thought you got possessed or something CAUSE YOU WERE JUST FLAILING YOUR ARMS AROUND WHILE LOOKING INTENTLY AT THEM

I can just imagine him lying down, watching you drawing, while he’s kicking his feet in the air HEPL

You and your boyfriend, Kenny, were sat slumped against a wall in the back of some alleyway, spending your time together in the quiet where only sounds of passing cars, footsteps and chatter of pedestrians, and the soft winds blowing every now and then. You were getting into your drawings on your little sketchbook, moving from one doodle to the other and leaving many unfinished. Every couple of minutes, you’d revisit the other, but that was only if you were still up to it. Other than that, you had new ideas pulling you away from your drawings every other second. Kenny was playing with the hair that fell by the side of your face as you were doing your own business—twirling, braiding, and unfurling it over and over again. You stretched out your hand and formed it in a reached-out, grabbing motion, shifting it every so often to get a better view of what it looked like. Kenny watched you observing yourself in intrigue as well, resting his chin on your shoulder. As soon as you were done and about to get back to drawing, he lifted himself back up and started to play with your hair once more. While you were drawing out the hand same hand you motioned earlier, you felt a soft kiss on your cheek, which caught you off guard. You turned your head in Kenny's direction, giving him a look that asked, ‘Why?’ Not in a bad way, just out of curiosity. He shrugged in return, cupping your face in one hand with his fingers resting on both cheeks as he squeezed them. “Cutie.”

🎸 s. marsh (wc: 317)

He doesn’t pay much mind to it honestly

He sees it for the first time and thinks it’s kinda silly, but not much after that

He brings it up sometimes though like

“Oh, yeah, I think it’s funny how you’re really expressive.”

But really its not something that bothers him

If anything, he finds it really adorable sometimes, especially when you get a little too into the zone and you’re just changing expressions every millisecond

Honestly, I think it’s a neat little dynamic since you’re probably really bubbly while Stan’s more aloof

You and Stan were in your favorite corner of the world—Stark’s Pond. Okay, technically, it’s one of the farthest things from a corner, given that it’s a whole landscape, but it was a special place unbeknownst to many, especially people who aren’t from the small town of South Park. You two were sat on a bench by the pond, Stan playing the guitar cross-legged, and you were leaning towards it while drawing on your tablet. You hummed along with the songs he was playing, familiar to you as it was your relationship’s self-declared theme song. Your face was twisted in a pout, trying to get a small detail, but important (to you), correct. You clicked your tongue, flipping your canvas every so often to make sure it looked right or physically possible. You sighed, resting your body weight on Stan as he paused to look at you and your art’s progress. “Frustrated?” He hummed, putting his arm down so that it was more comfortable for you to lean onto him. “No,” you clicked your tongue. “Just need to get around this little part. Like, I can’t  draw feet for the life of me.” You sighed, tipping your head a little further as you ground into Stan's shoulder. He found himself giggling at you, patting your back, and giving you a little kiss on the cheek.

[sharkfinn]

Ahem, I am so glad you asked.

Okay, so a while back, I was really trying to figure out the correlation between the Rat King and Splinter. I still don't fully understand what really went down, but I do believe that Splinter is dead.

Listen, you said that Draxum is a really good Dad. So I think it is more likely that what happened did happen. But, you said in the tags that he still views humanity as dangerous and foreign. So, I think that Draxum does think that humans are to be feared.

When Huginn and Muginn explained why Spots room had some human stuff in it, Draxum freaked out and started asking things and saying that they could have brought back a human transmitter or a tracking device, lol. So he is paranoid in some aspects.

I mean, why did Spot attack April? I already mentioned some possibilities in the past, but now I think he attacked her just because she's a human who's affiliated with his brothers. I don't even think he knows she's their friend. Like, has Draxum even mentioned the fact that he saw April and his sons together already??? Did he even take into consideration when Leo said they were "all set in the Dad department"??? That's definitely ominous!

I think the best possible reason why Draxum could be using the Rat King as an illusion to scare Spot is because of his overprotectiveness. He just wants to keep his son safe. He's already lost four, and so he couldn't handle losing another one. So maybe he's using the Rat King as a disguise for Splinter? Maybe everything that Spot experienced when him and his brothers were held captive was all just a nightmare. Maybe Splinter is using it to scare him away from the dangers of this world...?

But that doesn't really add up because why is Draxum sending him on a mission to save his brothers? He's asked about what happened when he was taken by the Rat King, so why would he just bring up something traumatic that never happened? To be manipulative? That doesn't sound like your Draxum.

The Rat King terrorized Spot's brothers, but where's any sign of the others being traumatized? Did they just forget? I know Spot was significantly younger than all of them, but they all were still kids. They may have been affected a little differently, but It doesn't change what they went through.

Leo says they already have a Dad, so if Splinters dead, who could possibly be raising them? Has April already met their Dad? In some sick way, has the RAT KING been raising them this whole time? I can imagine that once Spot meets his brothers and goes to their lair, he'll see him and totally freak out and realize they really don't remember anything. He'll sound insane to them. It'll be even crazier for his brothers when they find out that Draxum is their actual Dad since they don't remember the childhood they spent with him.

I think it's possible that Splinter did, in fact, take the other turtles because he thought Draxum had ill intentions with the turtles, but he was wrong. I already called out this parallel with the Rat King and Splinter. But it could still just be a difference in universes. I mean, maybe the Rat King, whoever he may be in this universe, came to Draxum's home and took his sons to get revenge? He could be a failed experiment of Draxum's, or maybe he's someone that Draxum wronged in the past, and he just doesn't remember him.

Like, why would he specifically just take his sons? Why did he kill Splinter and not Draxum? Why burn Draxum's lab to the ground? Why did he mind control them? Maybe he's wasn't thinking straight? I really don't know.

I was asking a while back how the others were able to get away from the Rat King if all Draxum could save was Spot. If the Rat King hasn't been taking care of them, then how did they get away? Who found them all hurt and alone? It seemed to me like they were defenseless when they were ALL there together. I mean, there's proof. So when Spot was taken, how'd that even the odds? Did the Rat King get distracted, and they ran off behind his back? Possibly.

And for some reason, Raph got mind controlled? It doesn't seem like any of the others did as well, so why him? Because he's the oldest and the strongest? Did the Rat King use him to keep them from running off? Like, whenever they'd wonder off, would Raph go and get them? 'Cause if that's the case... god. That's so messed up. Using their big brother that would never hurt them in a million years to keep them in line? Jesus. That explains this... :(

Anyway, I am so baffled as to how this is all gonna fix itself. Like, we've seen future stuff of the turtles past all this mess. How long does it take for them to heal from this? Splinter getting killed in front of them, getting taken by the Rat King and leaving their father, having god knows what done to them by the Rat King in their time of captivity, getting separated by Spot and Spot seperated by his brothers, them forgetting Spot for many many years and out of no where meeting their long lost brother dragging their unconscious friend to GOD KNOWS WHERE! WHAT THE HELL 😂???

I'm at a loss, to be honest. I will be waiting here as you decide whatever's gonna happen after this point. I, for one, cannot choose just one single possibility. This story could go either way, tbh. All I know is that this is gonna be really hard to explain to his brothers, lmao. I am very excited to see them interact, though. I think that Spot and his brothers' time together will kind of be like the Mutant Manhunt au where Raph got separated by the brothers and was at the battle Nexus. Or, the story will be a lot more chaotic. Again, it could go either way. It really depends on who their "Dad" is, in my opinion. It would've been cool if April's Mom took them in, but that wouldn't explain the Dad department Leo was mentioning. Unless it was a joke and he was talking about Lou Jitsu or Jupiter Jim, and I shouldn't take it so seriously, lol.

I hope you like my rant. I sound so normal about this au, don't I? (If you saw any grammatical errors, no, you didn't).

AAAAHHH i cant wait !!!!!!!!!! :]

[annebonnydyke]

So you’ve had fun Goncharov posting and now you actually want it to be real

(Disclaimer that this is my own opinion based on the vibes I get from Goncharov and you might not necessarily agree with me. Also blanket content warning most of these work deal heavily with domestic abuse, violence, racism, and sexual assualt)

1. The Godfather Part 1 and 2- as far as I can tell this is where most of the Goncharov gifsets come from. This is one of those movies people constantly tell you is amazing and when you finally sit down and watch you get upset bc they were right. They’re regarded as some of the best and most important movies in the film canon for a reason. Mafia movies about the corruption of the soul, inescapable cycles, being doomed by The Narrative™ and of course young hot and sexy Al Pacino and Robert De Niro.

2. House of Leaves- for people who enjoy the interpretation of a nonexistent work part of Goncharov, House of Leaves is partly a horror story about a house that bigger on the inside, partly an academic analysis of the nonexistent record of that horror, partly the story of a man’s psychological unraveling, partly a critique of cold academic analysis, and partly a love story. If your favorite part of Goncharov was the metanalysis of a work that doesn’t exist and trying to fit all the pieces together this ones for you.

3. The Handmaiden- for all the people who love Katya and Sofia, two women stuck in their place in the world, who love each other but end up betraying each other. The Handmaiden is psychological thriller about a Korean pickpocket who is sent to con a Japanese noblewoman out of her fortune. Deals heavily with themes of deceit, betrayal, queer love, imperialism, and a woman’s place in a world controlled by men. My favorite movie of all time, highly recommend.

4. Black Sails- truthfully only tangentially similar vibe-wise to Goncharov but as a black sails blog the mutuals would have my head if I didn’t include it on this list and trust me the Goncharov to Black Sails pipeline is very real. Fans of clock symbolism and being being trapped by The Narrative™ will greatly enjoy this one. also that Katya/Sofia and Eleanor/Max/Anne parallels are real and I can prove it and don’t get me started on the Silver and Andrey parallels.

5. Bound (1996)- another one for the Katya/Sofia girlies out there. Two women hatch a plot to steal millions from the mafia, but will they make it out alive? Great style and cinematography and much more punchy and action heavy than the the rest of these. Its a very good modern film noir and the first feature film directed by the Wachowski sisters. Also a much shorter movie (1 hour and 48 minutes) if longer runtimes aren’t your thing.

Honorable Mentions

1. Goodfellas- I personally haven’t seen Goodfellas yet so can’t really give my opinion on it however if you actually want a mafia movie directed by Martin Scorsese starring Robert De Niro here’s one you can actually watch. My friend Angel says this ones really good and I trust their opinion

2. War and Peace 1966-67- again I haven’t seen this one but my friend Bianca really liked this one and tells me whenever she pictures Goncharov she imagines this. From what I gather people who are interested in how soviet history affected the art of the time and enjoy complicated relationship drama will enjoy this one. Also if you’re into very long media this one is split into 4 parts and clocks in at a crisp 7 hours.

If anyone has other suggestions let me know! I love getting recommendations :)

[nancywheeeler]

‘Eddie Munson should have died at the hands of the government instead of the Upside Down’ please expound on this your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

okay, i am finally gonna release from the vault a text post i had drafted months ago about how reductive and bland i find eddie munson's "heroism" arc.

from a characterization standpoint, i totally understand why eddie declares himself a coward for running after witnessing chrissy (and later, patrick) die. his image of himself as a proud outcast willing to brandish a middle finger at societal norms, bolstered by playing a "satanic" game about misfits coming together to bravely face great evils, is completely shattered. however, from our viewpoint as an audience, eddie does what just about any of us would have done after watching someone die in a horrific, unexplainable manner and not knowing if what happened to them is about to happen to us.

...except the show then does this weird thing where it agrees with eddie's warped, guilty view of his actions. eddie is a coward for running. he should have...what? stayed, again not knowing if he would be killed next, tried to explain everything to hawkins pd, and gotten arrested? (which would have derailed the rest of the hawkins plot because, unless dustin & company staged a jailbreak, eddie then would have been in custody during fred and patrick's murders.) the plot demands he run, but to wring any sort of emotional catharsis out of his death, the writers want us to think "look! he's redeemed himself! this time he ran into the danger!" it equates self-preservation with selfishness and cowardice, which certainly isn't a new thing in media but it's boring and doesn't reflect reality.

and when you parallel eddie's death with billy's (and what i imagine steve's death would have been had they gone through with killing him in season one), it paints this uncomfortable picture that redemption can only be found through extreme self-sacrifice and ultimately death. boring! very boring! and again, why are we redeeming a character who doesn't need redemption?

i appreciate (and really like actually!) that the narrative dooms eddie from the beginning. there wouldn't have been a satisfying way to write him out of a triple homicide rap had he lived. that being said, i would have loved to see eddie survive the upside down, get arrested for the murders, and, while our intrepid heroes are expecting owens and his shadowy government contacts to swoop in, be killed by those same shadowy government contacts as a cover-up.

because that is all owens has been doing for the past three seasons: covering things up to save a fringe organization's ass. it's just been convenient for our gang that the cover-ups align with their interests, too, to the point they are over-reliant on owens stepping in with forged birth certificates and mall fires. only, in season four's case, eddie is the most convenient cover story. with owens left for dead in a bunker in the middle of the desert, what loyalty does the rest of this strange government operation have to the gang and to eddie that they would exert any additional effort concocting a more outlandish story than the easy one the town of hawkins has already bought into?

it would have been a great way to add additional stakes going into season five because the gang would have had absolutely no one to rely on or trust but themselves. no more clean-up crew to plant fake stories and file the paperwork. the government has never actually been on their side. it's hawkins against the upside down and the world, baby.

wow, this is so long and i am so sorry. i still have a lot of feelings about this apparently, even after all this time.

[herpartnerintime]

Why I believe Max and Chloe are both lesbians

Max is a Lesbian

Chloe is a Lesbian

Max and Chloe have never had their sexualities confirmed in the games but many in the fandom headcanon Max as bisexual and Chloe as a lesbian (or less often bisexual) but there are many of us who see Max as a lesbian just like Chloe. Having played the games many times with my own lesbian eyes, I've realized that on the surface level Max's sexuality may seem clearly bisexual, but when you really pay attention, lesbian starts feeling closer to Max, as many of us picked up on Max experiencing comphet when it comes to boys. Inspired by my Before you say Chloe is a bad friend post I wanted to make another long post gathering details from Life is Strange, Before the Storm and Farewell in my long waffling way to help people better understand why many of us see lesbian as the sexuality that fits Max just as much as it fits Chloe, as we explore Max and Chloe's sexual awakenings paralleling each other. Grab some snacks, this will be a long one!

Let's start with Max! I'll start by saying I imagine Max even by the end of the game doesn't have a label for herself yet. It will take time after the storm, with all the trauma to come, but as she and Chloe heal I think Max will be able to reflect and come to understand herself and why lesbian feels right to her. Fans tend to go between Bisexual or Lesbian for Max's label, and I do see how bi can be possible. Max can after all, kiss Warren and she does think some skater boys are cute. But many of us have taken a deep dive into the game and the journal entries to piece together what many of us believe may be signs of comphet with Max (the way many of us assume ourselves as straight by default), and signs that point to a lesbian sexuality. I'll first start off with something critical to understand. Some players believe you can make Max gay, straight, or bisexual depending on if you romance Warren. This is false. Max cannot be straight, because her feelings for Chloe still exist regardless if you choose to go to the drive in with Warren or don't kiss Chloe. Regardless of what choice you make, Max and Chloe are still experiencing feelings for each other. They're still flirting, calling each other cute by the pool for example, and Max's journal shows she is very much catching feelings for her best friend no matter what choices you make. If you don't kiss Chloe, she still writes about regretting the kiss.

I would have, but I didn't like being dared like it was some big deal. Maybe I am scared. Of what? I think I'm too young for marriage. And Chloe and I might kill each other. Max says she would have and admits to being scared. She also wonders if she is to young for marriage. Why is her mind going right to marriage over a kiss? I think this Max who doesn't kiss Chloe wants too but was to scared to do so. To scared to be honest with herself about how she feels, trying to convince herself they would never work anyway. I've never been so glad to see Chloe in my life. The second I saw her blue hair and that beautiful pissed off face, I kind of regretted not kissing her when she double dared me. Maybe if she had double dog dared me... After she comes back from the alternate reality where she either watches Chloe die or leaves her in pain, Max writes how she regretted not kissing her when she double dared her. If Max had no feelings for Chloe, she would have written about how she wanted to say hug her forever or something platonic, not write about wanting to kiss her, and wishing Chloe had put more pressure on the kiss with a double dog dare.

Chloe will always be my best friend, but who knows how she really sees me? I know she wasn't mad I didn't kiss her... I feel like we're more family than couple... just a couple of dorky kids who grew up in a fucked up, amazing world... Maybe that's why I hated watching Chloe being so cruel in the nightmare, calling me names and trying to hurt me... I was surprised that it was like a physical pain in my heart. Is that the power of love... or friendship? I believe you're about to find out, Max Caulfield. I think something to remember in this entry is you didn't make Max brave enough to act on her feelings and as a result, you've made Max become in denial of her feelings, afraid to face them and what they might mean. She's aware they are there, these feelings, the fact she is questioning if this is the power of love or friendship says it all. Remember, she was writing about regretting the kiss earlier. And, the nightmare still has Chloe being flirted with and kissing others regardless of if you kiss Chloe or not and it still bothers Max. I think Max in this end ultimately buries her feelings for Chloe because you didn't make her brave enough to act on them. And deep down she thinks she's not good enough for Chloe anyway so writes Chloe off as "more family than couple'. I've seen some dismiss this as Max simply experimenting in this version of the story and realizing she didn't have feelings, but that can't be true, not when we know what happens in the story if you let Max act on her feelings. This isn't about experimentation, this is about you as the player choosing to keep Max in the closet or not when it comes to her sexuality and feelings for Chloe. That is your player choice, not whether you can make her gay or straight. Now that we've made it clear Max can't be straight and that her feelings for Chloe still exist even if you don't kiss her, I want to talk about Warren and the way she writes about him versus how she writes about Chloe. Once I gave Juliet the proof that Victoria was behind it all, I went to get Warren's flash drive from Dana. She was in a weird mood, but we said nasty things about Victoria and I think it definitely made her feel better. We talked about Warren and Dana implied he likes me. Ew. Agree to Movie Oh wait... I did say I would go to the drive-in with him. Hope he doesn't make a lame move on me... (Not that he would, egomaniac.) Warren and I do have a lot in common, but he's like a supercool geek brother... Anyway, I definitely need a movie escape.

Don't agree to Movie Oh wait. He did try and get me to go to the drive-in with him, and I refused. I'm not really in the mood this week, and I also don't want to lead him on... Kisses him in Episode 5 Considering how insane my life has been this week, kissing Warren in the middle of a deadly storm didn't seem to be that strange. It felt like we were flipping off the cruel universe... and if I was going to die, I wanted one kiss from a boy I cared about.

Now let's compare to how she writes about Chloe Kissed Chloe in Episode 3

So I did. She probably thought I'd wuss out. Why? It wasn't that big a deal. Though it was cute the way she was kind of embarrassed after and said she would tell Warren. 

episode 4 I've never been so glad to see Chloe in my life. The second I saw her blue hair and that beautiful pissed off face I wanted to kiss her again.

Episode 5 I'm glad Warren is such a good friend. Considering how insane my life has been this week, kissing Chloe instead of him didn't seem that strange. It felt like Chloe and I were flipping off the cruel universe... and if I was going to die, I wanted one kiss from my best friend. How could this not be some kind of fate or destiny? Even though we're opposites in so many ways, we're also so alike. We'll always be pirates in spirit and we'll always want to take on the world... It sounds so stupid to say that she's my hero, but if not her, who else? Sometimes Chloe and I feel like yin and yang. Who knows? Maybe we're here to give each other strength... or more. Chloe is more than my best friend, but who knows how she really sees me? She did dare me to kiss her, but she seemed surprised that I actually did. I am too, but I don't regret it for a second. Maybe that's why I hated watching Chloe being so cruel in the nightmare, calling me names and flirting with all those people... I was surprised that it was like a physical pain in my heart. Is that the power of friendship... or love? I believe you're about to find out, Max Caulfield.

Have you noticed something about her journals on Warren and on Chloe? You'll notice Max has so much more to say about her feelings for Chloe. All she ever says about Warren in regards to possible feelings is 'he's a boy she cares about' when she can kiss him in episode 5. Other than that, her journals she writes about him in regards to liking him like that are writing ew and in another she writes how she sees him as a brother and hopes he doesn't make a move on her. She never writes like this about Chloe. I know people take the fact Max can kiss Warren in episode 5 as her being bisexual but I feel like Max was discovering herself in this game having never been in a relationship before or even having a first kiss before the kiss dare. I know she can think some boys are cute, like skater boys but Chloe was also a skater, which could explain Max having that attraction to skaters, but the comphet making her just focus on boys, like she's supposed too, unable to make the connection she associates skating with Chloe. "He's cute. I like skater boys. Too bad they don't like me." Max thinks this of Trevor in the hallway of Blackwell. Trevor also happens to be wearing a beanie. These may seem like small details, but it's hard to not notice that Max ends up catching feelings for her skater beanie wearing best friend. It's also worth noting one of the optional photos involves Trevor failing a skating trick and Max taking a photo while he is in pain. She seems to take notice of boys being cute, but otherwise can seem disinterested in them. Even when it comes to touch, she backs away from Warren's hug attempt in episode 1 when she goes to give him back the USB, aware he is catching feelings for her and showing her discomfort about it. Then you just look at Max and Chloe, and how comfortable Max is at all times with physical touch from Chloe, even though Chloe has begun flirting with her and showing clear interest, it doesn't appear to make Max uncomfortable like Warren's interest in her does. Max does accept some physical touch from Warren, such as being comforted after Kate or hugging him in the diner because as she says, she could use a hug after what she's been through. But you'll notice she can be avoidant or unresponsive otherwise, such as how she acts when he puts his arm around her outside the Vortex Club party. She seems very comfortable with physical touch from Chloe, but not so much with Warren. Both of them are making their feelings for her known, but it's only the boy who Max can seem uncomfortable with at times. There's more to say about Max and this topic, but first, let's talk about the texting now between Max and Chloe and Max and Warren. Do you ever notice how many texts Warren sends Max, and the timestamps? She's very slow responding to him, but responds in a minute/within minutes with Chloe. She flirts back with Chloe too in texts, where she doesn't do so with Warren. If you explore Max's texts to Chloe and Warren here you'll notice a pattern of Max taking a very long time to answer Warren, until she finally gets around to sending off a quick message to him, usually short and to the point. Here's an example of the texts you find in Max's phone when you start the game from Warren. Do u want to meet for coffee after school? I need an excuse to not study. 10/02 1:14 pm PLEASE. 10/02 1:14 pm Make sure you check out NEKRomantik on my flash drive. Mwahaha 10/03 5:42 pm HEY MAD MAX. LETS BUST SHIT UP. 10/05 3:06 pm Wait. I have to study for a physics test. So if we bust anything, we also have to measure its velocity. 10/05 3:06 pm Don't ignore this message. 10/05 3:07 pm Hi Mx, can you get my flash drive? I need some info. And space. 10/07 4:21 pm Hullo? 10/07 4:21 pm Srry. Running late. Insane day. 10/07 4:22 pm

You'll notice Warren has been texting Max for days with no response. She likely sees and talks to him in school, but she wasn't taking the time to respond to his texts, which seems a bit strange for a boy she is supposed to be interested in.

Warren even sends her a picture of himself bruised up after protecting her from Nathan, with Max herself not having asked if he was okay.

Earth to Max: Your white knight Warren here. I know you were worried about me 10/07 6:36 pm I owe u. Thanks for today. I'll call back later, k? I SWEAR. 10/07 6:37 pm Now it makes sense given what happened in her day she didn't text him to ask if he was okay, but she did leave Chloe's side to find tools to fix her camera, and he wasn't even on her thoughts. She actually wasn't worried about him, but more worried about her broken camera and how sad Chloe seemed, which again is a bit strange for her if this is a boy she is interested in. Max then tells him she'll call him later. This is a pattern. Max is always ending conversations short with him, and always telling him she'll talk later. With Chloe on the other hand, this text about sums them up... u there mad max 10/08 7:34 am Like I said. Always for you :) :) :) :) 10/08 7:34 am NO EMOJI!!! 10/08 7:35 am :( 10/08 7:35 am

She is not always there for Warren in the game. She frequently tells him she'll call later or doesn't, or tries to end conversations quickly. Even if she accepts the drive in date, Max doesn't respond to him when he texts.... I'll let you take care of the popcorn. In other words you can't back out now :) 10/09 8:14 am OK, it's officially sold out BUT 10/09 9:21 am I managed to get us both tickets Had to fight a dozen bullies off for 'em though Freaking nerds 10/09 9:21 am Now Max is of course as we the player know, kinda going through ALOT right now with the discovery of her Super Powers and everything else, but she always responds to Chloe so quickly, even if they are just joking around. She could have quickly texted Warren an "awesome thanks" or a "I can't wait to go to the drive in with you" but she sends nothing in return. With this said, there are some exchanges that happens where she does talk more about the drive in. We are so GOING APE! Newberg is 60 miles so we should leave around 5. I drive. 10/08 9:19 am

Hell yeah we will in your new ride. 10/08 9:19 am

We have to get supplies for the drive-in. Maybe we can have dinner first. 10/08 9:19 am

..... 10/08 9:20 am

Or whatever. Anyway. GO APE! 10/08 9:22 am

Too late! 10/08 9:22 am

:) 10/08 9:22 am

Warren is still doing much of the talking here, with Max not giving an answer about dinner first, just saying too late about dinner! If Max turns down the invite, he sends instead... No worries about not GOING APE with me. 10/08 9:19 am

Thought it would be cool to take a road trip in the new wheels. I'll just drive in circles around town. 10/08 9:19 am

I'm sorry, Warren. Hard week. 10/08 9:20 am

I still owe you. 10/08 9:20 am

Yes you do. 10/08 9:20 am

Let me know if you change your mind. 10/08 9:21 am

(-_*) 10/08 9:22 am

I still owe you. Max says and writes that a lot. We both looked at each other like WTF? Next thing I knew, I was in her truck as Warren earned his man card and tried to get Nathan off my ass. I owe Warren big-time.  I owe u. Thanks for today. I'll call back later, k? I SWEAR.

I still owe you. 10/08 9:20 am Yes you do. 10/08 9:20 am This one is if you don't kiss Chloe and accepted his invite.

Yo yo Max. Your friend Chloe txtd me that you shot her down. True? 10/10 8:41 am Chloe actually texted you? 10/10 8:42 am I sure didn’t have her number. 10/10 8:42 am Oh God. 10/10 8:42 am I don’t want to embarrass you. 10/10 8:42 am Too late. 10/10 8:43 am She sounds cool. 10/10 8:43 am She’s a cool dork. 10/10 8:43 am Like me? 10/10 8:43 am No, you’re different. In a good way. 10/10 8:43 am So we’re still on to "Go Ape"? 10/10 8:44 am No damn dirty human can stop me. 10/10 8:44 am GO APE NOT HUMAN 10/10 8:44 am We shall see. 10/10 8:44 am Now I have to get back to reality. 10/10 8:45 am That sucks. 10/10 8:45 am Indeed. I’ll buzz you later. 10/10 8:45 am

So on the surface level, this might just look like Max turned down Chloe because she didn't have feelings for Chloe, but does for him. But we know from Max's interactions with Chloe and her journals about really regretting not kissing Chloe, more than once, Max is indeed very embarrassed, not just because Warren knows about it, but because she DOES have feelings for Chloe and suddenly someone knows about how Chloe dared her to kiss her.

For someone still figuring out their sexuality this can feel like being put on the spot, that comphet making you feel almost like you have to brush it off and act like it was nothing no I'm totally not gay. Max calls her a cool dork and then when Warren asks if she's still on to go ape, Max responds this time, unlike the way she ignored his texts about the drive in before and says "No damn dirty ape can stop me". My interpretation of this text exchange is Max is embarrassed and overwhelmed at the implication of Warren knowing Chloe was into her and that she herself possibly was into Chloe back (even if the kiss didn't even happen), and so she is trying to shake off that feeling, and focus on the drive in with Warren because she's totally not into girls or Chloe right? By making it clear she's still down for the drive in, she also keeps the topic off Chloe.

I want to again bring up her last journal if you didn't kiss Chloe, where her conclusion is she sees them as more friends than couple and how I concluded if you don't kiss Chloe, the story ends for Max in denial about her feelings for Chloe, and I feel like this text exchange is a show of that denial, as Max tries to push away her feelings for Chloe and possibly try and push herself to feel more feelings for a boy her journal suggested she was not having feelings for the way she was for a girl. Let's look for a moment at the text exchange if you kissed Chloe and didn't accept his invite. Yo yo Max. Your friend Chloe txtd me that I’m out of the loop now. She sounds hot so I get why. 10/10 8:41 am Chloe actually texted you? 10/10 8:42 am I sure didn't have her number. Now I get why you didn't want to "Go Ape" with me. You should go with Chloe. 10/10 8:42 am She looks cool enough for you. 10/10 8:42 am I have a lot of cool friends. Like you. 10/10 8:43 am Yes, you do. Just my luck. 10/10 8:43 And mine. I have to jet. TTYL. 10/10 8:43 am I hope so. 10/10 8:43 am Max shows she is shocked here Chloe texted him. She doesn't express embarrassment this time however, like she did when she said Oh God when she doesn't kiss Chloe. This to me shows Max was feeling more confident because she had kissed Chloe, she wasn't in denial about her feelings and starting to discover her sexuality and confidence. She therefore isn't embarrassed Warren knows about the kiss, she may not be ready to talk about it yet or with him, but she isn't embarrassed as she is if she turns down the kiss and there's this implication she may not be straight. The Max that doesn't kiss Chloe is trying to ignore/deny her feelings for Chloe and therefore, feels more uncomfortable at people being aware of it. I would also guess Max is experiencing a similar thrill from her expression as she did in the classroom if Chloe texts she wants to marry her, seeing Chloe is making it clear to someone she knows that likes her that Max is HERS. For the girl she likes to do that... Max is starting to realize more and more what she writes later in her journal, that they are more than friends now. Speaking of that text... a fan favourite if you 'shoot' Frank. max the boss with the gun marry me Illegal in Oregon. For now. fuq that shit elope Max opens this text right in class and then Jefferson calls her out and tells her to put her phone away before Max can say more. Max is very openly flirting back with Chloe in these texts, something we don't see her do with Warren. With all the journals we know will exist after this point, with Max realizing they were more than friends, these texts weren't just friends being silly but Max flirting back with Chloe and being exhilarated by it.

We also see Chloe sometimes messages Max several times in a row. The difference? Max doesn't seem to mind as she responds in the same minute.

max 10/08 8:08 am food 10/08 8:08 am two whales 10/08 8:08 am Don't hurt your fingers texting 10/08 8:08 am Yay breakfast! (^_^) 10/08 8:09 am NO EMOJI 10/08 8:09 am

Now let's talk about the way Max and Chloe talk about boys, to each other. Max: So... you never really told me if you had a serious boyfriend while I was away... Chloe: Not serious. Hella stupid, usually. I went through a "boy toy" phase. Among other things... Max: I can't see you with any of the guys around here... Chloe: Because you have a good eye. That's why I was so glad Rachel came along to rescue me. Max: Sounds like you totally crushed on Rachel. Chloe: You would have too. Smart, sexy and sassy... Like me, right?Max: Well, duh! Maybe Rachel would have fought over both of us. Chloe: You wish! Then again, maybe... you're a photographer and she wanted to be a model. Max: As Blackwell proves, boys are trouble. Chloe: And way fucking gross. As you'll discover soon enough. Max: Oh okay, Woman of the World. Please tell me what it's like to get that first magic kiss! Chloe: Sorry, sorry. Didn't mean to get you all worked up. I just don't think anybody is good enough for you... besides me. Notice how Max says well, duh, confirming she sees Chloe as smart, sexy and sassy and jokes even about Rachel fighting over both of them, showing how comfortable Max is at the idea of girls liking her, versus how she acts at the thought of boys liking her, like at the pool, as you will see below. Pool Scene Chloe: Dude, I'm not her groupie, okay? And I'm sure you have Blackwell bros all over you—like Warren... Gross! option Max: Ew! I don't want any Blackwell bros over me. There's a couple cute guys there but they probably think I'm a total nerd. Chloe: Uh, nerds are hot. You just don't have any confidence yet.

Max: Unfortunately, that didn't come with my rewind power... Warren is nice option

Max: Warren is nice...

Chloe: [chuckles] Nice? Ouch. That means "Friendzone."

Max: No, he's really cool. It was so sweet when he stood up to Nathan... But I haven't told him about my rewind power... You're the Bro Killer option

Max: You're the bro killer. Tats and 'tude... Chloe: You did not just say that. Plus I am not down with these Arcadia Bay hillbillies. Max: I don't blame you... Anyway, we have bigger fish to fry, right?

Now Max does say there are a couple of cute guys, and this indeed could indicate bisexuality, but lesbians can think boys are cute on the surface level. But here's something worth mentioning. While we can find boys cute on surface level, the moment things start moving beyond friendship, we start feeling uncomfortable and start avoiding, kind of like how Max puts off Warren's texts because she's come to realize he sees her as more than a friend, and she doesn't know what to do with that. This might explain the journal where she writes I never really found a groove with my classmates. (Or boys...) as the moment a boy she thinks is cute begins possibly having feelings for her, it may have made her uncomfortable, causing her to, 'not find a groove with boys' as a result and not fully understanding why. Even when discussing boys with Chloe, Max's options and responses are interesting. You can choose gross, and then Max says ew and that she doesn't want any Blackwell bros all over her, and Chloe had mentioned Warren as one of the Blackwell bros. She then says she finds some cute, which seems to me again like she's able to see boys on the surface level as cute, but does not like the idea of them actually being into her back. Her other options are to deflect to Chloe being the 'bro killer' and to 'friendzone' Warren. All she can say about boys is she finds some cute, but she never seems to go beyond that, almost as if she can't. I can speak from experience of being able to see men as cute or handsome but also experiencing discomfort at the idea of actually being liked back in that way, or realizing I was liked in that way. I also experienced discomfort when I would think about what intimacy with a man would involve and how uncomfortable that made me feel. I didn't experience this when thinking about women. I could picture intimacy, everything in detail with excitement and comfortability. I also want to make note of many of the fandom seeing Max as a demi lesbian, needing a close connection for romantic and sexual attraction. On top of the comphet, it's possible Max didn't realize her sexuality because she wasn't forming a close enough connection with any girls to feel that way about them. Demisexuality, which falls on the asexuality spectrum, differs from simply wanting to wait for a deep bond to form before having sex with someone; rather, it’s more akin to the experience of being asexual until that type of connection forms, at which point the sexual attraction extends only to that person. x This seems to fit Max, who had never kissed or dated or in fact, been at all interested in anyone until Chloe. Feelings had begun when they were tweens. Chloe: You look cute with your hair soaked in chemicals.

Max: Thanks, you would know... This little exchange at the pool echoes back old memories, of being 13 and 14 Max: Really cute, Chloe.

Chloe takes off the hat.

Chloe: You're not so bad yourself.

With a girl, with Chloe, it all seems to come naturally to Max, how to act, how to flirt, how to boldly go for a kiss when dared, or how she was the one, in the Bay end, to go for that last kiss, or to choose Chloe over everyone in the Bae end. With Chloe she can comfortably flirt back and forth in text or in person. Now Max can kiss Warren too. She as stated before, writes in her journal she wanted one last kiss from a boy she cared about if she was going to die. I think so much of the game is about Max exploring her sexuality. Chloe even encourages her to stop being afraid at the pool. She encourages her in the alternate reality too. Chloe: Oh, please. You can't be an artist unless you experience life... That includes boys, girls, whatever. I think if you say, kiss Chloe AND Warren for example, you have Max exploring herself with BOTH of them, and while this again could indicate bisexuality we must remember Chloe had sex with boys and realized she wasn't into them in the end.

Rewatching the Max and Warren kiss, Max says for luck, and the kiss is fast and quick, compared to the very long kiss she gives Chloe in the Bay ending. Her kiss dare with Chloe was short too - only because Chloe pulled away in shock, so we don't know how long she would have kissed Chloe if Chloe hadn't pulled back. If she doesn't kiss Chloe and does kiss Warren, Max is choosing to not explore her feelings for a girl but to explore them with a boy she cares about. One thing we do know for sure... she writes way more about the girl than she does the boy whatever your choices are. And she writes she realizes she loves the girl, for the boy she just writes she cares about him, not that she loves him.

Here's something else to think about. Max is an anxious person who becomes avoidant when she's uncomfortable or anxious, as she is with Chloe after the move and isn't there for her. In Before the Storm, while Life is Strange had said Max hadn't texted, Before the Storm Max did text back a little, but she was avoidant like she is with Warren, short responses, always saying she'll call or text later but doesn't. In the case of Chloe Max didn't know how to be there for her grieving friend after leaving her at the worst time, in the case of Warren it at times feels like Max is avoidant and slower to respond to him because she is uncomfortable knowing he has feelings for her, and she doesn't in the same way. It's not until episode 5 after going through the Dark Room, alternate realities and the storm to get to the diner does she kiss Warren for luck as she says, driven perhaps more from the emotion of everything she had just went through and as she put in her journal, just wanting to experience one kiss if she might fail to get back to Chloe and was going to die. Comparing the kiss dare with Chloe, where the emotion was coming from a place of flirting and swimming in the pool in their underwear and bras, and then falling asleep together side by side in bed, it felt like the way Max hurled herself at Chloe for that kiss was coming from a very different place than Max needing a kiss for luck. It felt like Max going for that kiss dare was from the buildup of electricity between them and her acting very naturally on it. You can feel the electricity in the air with her and Chloe, but not so much with her and Warren. Now let's switch to Chloe for a little bit. Chloe I think is an easy she's a lesbian character. Most of the fandom sees Chloe as a lesbian, and it's not hard to see why. Let me bring these up once more... Max: So... you never really told me if you had a serious boyfriend while I was away... Chloe: Not serious. Hella stupid, usually. I went through a "boy toy" phase. Among other things... Max: I can't see you with any of the guys around here... Chloe: Because you have a good eye. That's why I was so glad Rachel came along to rescue me. Max: Sounds like you totally crushed on Rachel. Chloe: You would have too. Smart, sexy and sassy... Like me, right?Max: Well, duh! Maybe Rachel would have fought over both of us. Chloe: You wish! Then again, maybe... you're a photographer and she wanted to be a model. Max: As Blackwell proves, boys are trouble. Chloe: And way fucking gross. As you'll discover soon enough. Max: Oh okay, Woman of the World. Please tell me what it's like to get that first magic kiss! Chloe: Sorry, sorry. Didn't mean to get you all worked up. I just don't think anybody is good enough for you... besides me. Chloe makes it very clear she is NOT into boys anymore to Max in these conversations. She also makes it clear she is into Max by saying she doesn't think anybody is good enough for Max but herself. Even when she's asking Max what bathroom she wants to go through to get to the pool she asks it as if she is asking way more than a simple question. Chloe: Boys or girls? Max: Girls, of course! Chloe: Girls? Ooh la-la...

vs Chloe: Boys or girls?

Max: Boys, of course!

Chloe: Figures. Perv. Let's also remember how Chloe reacts in Before the Storm at 16 when she almost walks into the boys changing tent. "Boys' changing tent. Thanks, but no thanks." Chloe from the way she asks and reacts to Max's response, was I think clearly trying in her way to figure Max out. She asks about boys and girls here and in the pool because she's trying to figure out if Max possibly could like girls or she only likes boys or likes both. Max giving the "boys of course' answer is something she'd expect from a girl who likes boys wanting to explore the boy's locker room (we the player know Max is also just nosy and wants to investigate it), but Max choosing girls over wanting to explore the boys has Chloe even more curious, and when Max can react with gross or deflection about boys in the pool... she is becoming more curious. Max: As long as you're there with me...

Chloe: Don't look so sad. I'm never leaving you...

Chloe: You look cute with your hair soaked in chemicals.

Max: Thanks, you would know...

And moments like this happening, all leads to the kiss in the bedroom with Max. Chloe: Stop second-guessing yourself, Max! Put this on and let your inner punk-rock girl come out! You can afford to take chances! Whenever and whatever you want to try... for example, I dare you to kiss me!

Max: What?

Chloe: I double dare you. Kiss me now. Chloe, now feeling more confident Max may like girls (and maybe her???), but not being totally sure, she dares Max to kiss her.

Chloe: Damn, you're hardcore, Max! Now I can text Warren and tell him he doesn't stand a chance... unless he's into girl-on-girl action.

Chloe returns to her bed.

Max: You are such a dork.

Max: (thinking) Oh man, that was priceless when I kissed Chloe. She didn't think I would... Chloe: You better not rewind and take that kiss back. You know I'm hotter than those Seattle art-holes, right? Chloe pulls back in sheer shock that not only does Max like girls, she wanted to kiss her. This excitement as we discussed above, leads her to text Warren about the kiss, as her way to say Max is mine, back off. Let me also share what is said if Max doesn't kiss Chloe.

Max: Sorry, not that easy. Chloe: Oh, like I am? Just admit that you already macked on me then used your rewind! Now I can text Warren that you're saving yourself all for him...

Chloe returns to her bed.

Max: I am so going to best unfriend you for that.

Max: (thinking) I love that Chloe is so fearless...

I think to me this is further example of your choice as the player being about not making Max act on her feelings, not being the one who decides if she has feelings or not. Max isn't uncomfortable at all, actually she admires how fearless Chloe is. As she wrote in her journal, I would have, but I didn't like being dared like it was some big deal. Maybe I am scared. Of what? I think I'm too young for marriage. And Chloe and I might kill each other. Max's feelings always exist for Chloe. And later, she writes, I kind of regretted not kissing her when she double dared me. Maybe if she had double dog dared me... the kiss she didn't give is on her mind a lot. "And you'd dare me to drive it like you dared me to kiss you..." But if you make Max brave enough to kiss Chloe, she is more bold about it.

Max: And you'd probably want me to kiss you again... Oh and how can we forget? Max's reaction to Chloe's phone wallpaper either being changed to her or kept to Chloe and Rachel! If Chloe puts Max on her phone wallpaper Max thinks, "Nice, Chloe put my pic on her phone.... I must have proved I was worthy again..." If Chloe keeps her phone with her and Rachel Max thinks, "I thought Chloe might put up a pic of me instead.... Can't compete with Rachel." Max's jealously of Rachel is something even Joyce notices.

Joyce: Max Caulfield, are you actually jealous of Rachel?

Max: Maybe. Rachel was so much cooler than me... Max when she sees the C and R bracelets That kinda hurts.... The CD "Rachel songs." I wonder if Chloe would ever make me a mixtape.

Max when she sees the photos of Chloe and Rachel They really were besties. That could have been me instead of Rachel... Max's jealously is note worthy because it isn't something we see toward Brooke's interest in Warren. While Max shows jealously towards Rachel, she isn't that interested in Brooke's interest in Warren. If Max really did have feelings for Warren, she should be just as jealous. But Max acts very indifferent much of the time, if anything trying to ignore the awkwardness of knowing Warren likes her and Brooke is mad about it, trying to act like she has no idea what Brooke's problem is. Brooke: I'm serious. Even meteorologists can't explain that snow. I bet Warren can. Did you talk to him yet? Max: No, not at all. He's my friend, not my mother. (or she will say I will later) Brooke: True. And Warren really loves to talk meteorology with me, since I'm one of the few who can talk back. Talk to you later, Max.

In conversations with Brooke, it feels like Max is trying to get it across she is just Warren's friend. She helps him with his experiment in class and tries to ignore Brooke's rude comments about him ignoring the experts. Max: I'm helping Warren with his latest experiment. Brooke: Oh. I guess he needed a neophyte assistant so he wouldn't be threatened. But you came to his rescue anyway.

Max: Apparently, it's my nature. Brooke: Yet Warren ignores the experts right in front of him. Not that he would ask me for help anyway...

Brooke: Ms. Grant finally gave up and let me fly her again. But you're going to the drive-in with Warren, so you don't have time to fly my drone.

Max: Really? I can't fly your drone because I'm going to see "Ape" movies with Warren?

Brooke: You are perceptive, Max. Now, excuse me. My drone needs me.

I do find it interesting Max doesn't say going on a date with Warren, but going to see Ape movies with Warren, suggesting to Max, as she wrote in her journal, she sees it as just a friend thing. Oh wait... I did say I would go to the drive-in with him. Hope he doesn't make a lame move on me... (Not that he would, egomaniac.) Warren and I do have a lot in common, but he's like a supercool geek brother... Anyway, I definitely need a movie escape.

To Max, this is just a movie escape, but to Brooke it's so much more than that. At the Vortex club party, if Max doesn't accept the invite Brooke: I will. He left already, but we're going to map out our drive-in date later. Warren wants to go to dinner first, so that'll be fun. Is that cool with you, Max?

Max: Yes, it's great. Brooke, I'm happy for you. And Warren. I'd like to see you happy instead of waiting.

Brooke: Thanks, Max. Though I feel selfish talking about a boy, considering Kate and the Arcadia Bay eco-meltdown... As we discussed previously, whether you kiss Chloe or not Max's feelings for Chloe are still written about and expressed. This should mean even if she turns down the movie date, she should be sad about Brooke going with Warren, but she's happy. I think almost relieved she doesn't have to worry about it anymore. If Max accepted the drive in

Max: Have you seen Warren tonight?

Brooke: Why? You're the one going out with him.

Max: Brooke, enough. I'm sorry Warren asked me to the movies, but you don't need to give me an attitude. I'd like to think I'm your friend.

Brooke: I know... I get salty when things don't go my way. I'm selfish, while you go on a roof to help save your friend Even here, Max vents her frustration at Brooke being mad Warren asked her to the movies. But she doesn't say much else. She is aware Warren likes her, as she proves when Chloe says

Chloe: Man, that guy is so fucking in love with you.

Max: I know...

She doesn't say she likes him back, is just aware he does and you can get the sense she doesn't know what in the world to do about that. His feelings for her have even been getting Brooke mad at her, and her classmates are all picking up on it too.

Max: That was so not cool. We need to plan, like, a tea shop tour of Portland.

Kate: Oh yes! And you could bring Warren along too... Noy boys allowed

Max: No boys allowed. Kate: You are funny, Max. And right. Warren

Max: What do you think of Warren? Kate: Oh, smart and silly... He's got such a good heart. And he's a cutie pie. You know he likes you... Max: I'm going to the drive-in with him, so we'll see... With everything that's going on, a date seems weird... Kate: No, you deserve that.

Max: Kate Marsh, matchmaker. I'm glad somebody is looking out for my love life. Kate: Even angels need angels, Max. Don't forget her journal to match this and revealing her true feelings Oh wait... I did say I would go to the drive-in with him. Hope he doesn't make a lame move on me... (Not that he would, egomaniac.) Warren and I do have a lot in common, but he's like a supercool geek brother... Anyway, I definitely need a movie escape.

turned down drive in Max: So I've heard. He asked me to go to the drive-in, but I turned him down. Kate: Awww, really? You guys would be a perfect couple... Oh wait. He did try and get me to go to the drive-in with him, and I refused. I'm not really in the mood this week, and I also don't want to lead him on...

Max never sounds that interested about the 'date' and when you compare her journal about her feelings for the drive in with Warren with her feelings for Chloe it's clear Max's mind is very much on someone else, whether Max kissed Chloe or not. In episode 3, Nathan throws this slur at her. Nathan: Right...Plus, you're an adult now. I can sue for dumb ass for libel. Thanks. Now fuck off, dyke! Max doesn't give a response to this so we don't know how she feels as she doesn't write about it either, but her confidence she's gained with Chloe seems to have helped her not be bothered if he thinks she likes girls. Max never seems to mind if people think she likes girls. But thinking she likes boys on the other hand...

Dana: Max, you're smart to be a loner here. Though Warren obviously likes hanging with you... he's a good guy

Max: He's a good guy. A geek like me.

Dana: You saw the files in his flash drive? Tons of crazy shit. Films I've never even heard of. And in a special folder called "Max"?

Max: Yeah, okay. I gotcha.

Dana: Are you blushing? Ha! Go ahead and grab the flash drive whenever...

what do you mean? Max: What do you mean?

Dana: Oh, nothing. When you opened the flash drive, didn't you see the special folder called "Max"?

Max: Yeah, okay. I gotcha.

Dana: Are you blushing? Ha! Go ahead and grab the flash drive whenever...

In each exchange, Max seems uncomfortable at what she is implying. She does blush - but I've also blushed when I've realized someone is telling me someone likes me I don't like that way. It makes you feel embarrassed and put on the spot. Especially when you're deep down confused as to why you don't like this boy who everything else thinks is perfect for you. Max still can't find a groove with boys. Is it because she just can't like them that way? That's how it feels. And don't forget Max writes about this exchange...   We talked about Warren and Dana implied he likes me. Ew. Now, I can't ignore the fact Max can write Cu Te on his room slate, "Are you made of copper and tellurium because you're Cu Te" a nerdy little science pun. And thanks for leaving your mark on my door. I'll never erase it. 10/10 3:42 pm You better not. It's permanent! 10/10 3:42 pm

As she writes it she thinks, I can have a little fun with Warren for a change. He's the one who wants to "Go Ape"… x Her tone suggests it's more for him than for her, perhaps wanting to leave a nice message after seeing that Beta Phag Alert poster. And Max can again find him cute on the surface level. She knows she's supposed to like him like that, her classmates all think she should, and maybe she feels a little bad for her lack of attention since she's been busy with Chloe (and developing feelings for her) so she wants to leave him a nice message. I really do think this and the quick kiss with him in episode 5 were just Max exploring herself, because she does care for Warren as she said herself, but her feelings for a girl, for Chloe, go so much deeper than she can feel for him. Max's journal entries she wrote on the 7 and 8th expressed ew at the idea of someone thinking she liked Warren and writing how she hoped he didn't make a move on her at the drive in makes me think it's not likely her feelings for Warren would change so quickly when most of her time is spent with Chloe, but I think her becoming braver and bolder gave her the boldness to try and see what a kiss with a boy would feel like. But she never writes anything more than that. And I always go back to her reactions to the idea of boys liking her at the pool, versus her comfort at the idea of girls liking her that morning in Chloe's bedroom. I also think of her texts and journals about owing Warren. She says her kiss to him was for luck in her journal, maybe she also felt like she owed him something and felt like the kiss was giving that to him. Now let's talk about Before the Storm Chloe. In her journal, Chloe writes this about Elliot Similar to my class schedule, Eliot and I have history but no chemistry or drama. We hooked up a few times shortly after Dad died, but there wasn't really much to it. I think I was just bored. Or maybe a little lonely. Weird, I know. She also has this in her journal

PS Pris from Blade Runner popped into my head last time I rubbed one. I mean, at first I was thinking about Deckard and that smolder of his, but then Pris just totally stole the show. Probably nothing there. Think I just want her bangs.

She was starting to realize she didn't feel much for boys. She was able to see boys as surface level hot, which is why she first thought of Deckard and that smolder of his, led by her comphet, but it was Pris who as she says, stole the show as she rubbed one. Some may think bisexuality because she was first thinking of Deckard's smolder but again, comphet can make us lesbians focus on what we feel are we supposed too and then what we really like... girls... totally steals the show. While Before the Storm only shows her with Elliot, Life is Strange tells us from Joyce she had a bad boy phase, and Chloe calls it a boy toy phase, and she also tells Max that Rachel rescued her, suggesting Rachel had been her sexual awakening. We see this in Before the Storm too, as Chloe continues to understand who she really is, even if she can't say it out loud yet. Chloe: I mean...fuck. Are you actually going to make me say it? Rachel: Say what, exactly? Chloe: You know. Like, a friendship. But...more. Rachel: Ah... Chloe: I know. Weird, right? It's just, today was the best day I've had since...since my dad died. And when I almost ruined it just now, the way I ruin everything, it made me realize...whatever's going on between us is special.  And later... Let's just say... she erased all doubts.

What, you need me to draw you a map? We made out. As awesome as you may imagine making out with Rachel Amber sounds, believe me, it was a bajillion times awesomer. Chloe sexual awakening! Speaking of sexually awakened, it's clear she would have awakened sooner if Max hadn't moved away and stopped talking to her, with journals like these... The worst part is that even though we haven't spoken in months, even though she habitually ignored my texts so much that I just stopped trying, even though I know, deep down, that she doesn't care about me anymore and that she probably has all new friends up in fucking Seattle... I still miss her. If she came back tomorrow and said "hey Chloe, want to dress up like pirates and be stupid together?", I would take her back in a heartbeat. In a heartbeat. Chloe also has a drawing of Max in her journal that says, put your thoughts into me - x and on that very same page with the picture she writes "Maybe one day, when you return home and apologize for having forgotten all about me and we kiss and make up, I'll show this to you and we can read it and laugh." There's also of course, the scene in Farewell mirroring the pool

Max: Really cute, Chloe.

Chloe takes off the hat.

Chloe: You're not so bad yourself.

The way Chloe and Max look at one another and talk to each other. The feelings they were feeling... they were close to discovering at 13 and 14 they were more than friends...

Chloe pulls Max into a hug and Max drops the ball.

Chloe: You're the frickin' best. That's all. Max: Damn right. About time you realized it.

Chloe: Tell anyone and I'll deny it.

Chloe bumps Max's shoulder with hers.

Max: You are one of a kind, Chloe Price.

Chloe: What?

Max: I'm lucky your my best friend, that's all.

Chloe: Damn right you are, you mushy weirdo! Did you find the amulet?

I think even their childhood predictions to each other are interesting. They each think they'll end up with boyfriends and we know how that ends for both of them - and yet they also correctly predict they'll be living together (Bae end). And then there's Chloe, if Max doesn't tell her about the move, trying to distract her, saying she wants to go to the beach at night with Max, something her parents did together, which would have been a romantic night at the beach and Chloe heard the story and wants the same kind of experience with Max, even if she doesn't herself realize that. Max: I bet that would be beautiful. One day I want to see glowing sand.

Chloe: Me too! My dad saw it once with my mom. He said their feet made blue florescent footprints!

Max: Oh, my god. I want to take a picture of that so bad.

Chloe: Oh, you have to. We can go every night to make sure we don't miss it.

Chloe: I'm so excited! We're gonna have the coolest pirate hangout ever, just like we always talked about.

Max: Yeah, and it would just be for us.

Chloe: Exactly. Our own little place.

But sadly, we know what happens next. Chloe's dad dies and Max moves, and torn apart both girls are left with the lingering feelings neither understood, not until they are reunited again five years later. Chloe has her sexual awakening with Rachel, but would later realize her first love was Max. Both girls would eventually understand the feelings they had for each other even as tweens. William: And always remember: the real treasure is—

Chloe: Friendship.

Max: Love. Max's journal 5 years later. I was surprised that it was like a physical pain in my heart. Is that the power of friendship... or love? I believe you're about to find out, Max Caulfield.

Back to Before the Storm and 16 year old Chloe. In the junkyard Chloe can find a porn magazine in episode 2 where a fully naked woman (boobs and vagina on full display x) is on the cover and Chloe thinks....

High intimacy with Rachel : "These magazines are so gross. Who would look at this? Okay, I'm still looking. But it's only because I'm so fixated by how weird it is." Low intimacy: "Pretty sure this isn't what Rachel meant when she talked about going to LA to be a model. Then again, it's probably not what this person meant, either." If you allow Chloe to explore her feelings for Rachel, just like if you let Max explore her feelings for Chloe, it helps Chloe come to a realization about herself. The reason why she can't feel chemistry for boys or why she feels so indifferent to Elliot or why she says there wasn't much to it when she had sex with Elliot and why Pris stole the show when she rubbed one out is because she isn't sexually attracted to boys and their bodies. You know I wonder if maybe there was a reason she liked punching dicks so much in the D&D games that even Mikey noticed, both from anger at David and Wells but also at her growing understanding of her sexuality and what she is not into. She is not into boys. She is not into dicks. She is into girls. She is very much attracted to girls. She couldn't take her eyes off that magazine of that naked woman. She is into girls. She's into everything about them... girls steal the show literally for Chloe Price. She and Max have parallel situations happening where they each have a boy very interested in them and are discovering who they are, with Chloe at 16 being in the midst of her sexual awakening as Max is starting her sexual awakening at 18. Chloe has Steph gently encouraging her about liking girls (and Chloe also had her to admire - another thing about Steph: she's into girls, and she doesn't give a shit what anyone else thinks about it) and Max has Chloe encouraging her to discover her sexuality too, and also Chloe showing she likes girls and doesn't care what anyone thinks, making Max comfortable to show her feelings in return and helping her confidence. Steph: I've been planning to make a move on Rachel, but not if you two were together.

Chloe: Make a move?

Steph: So, are you?

Chloe: Uh...

Steph: I mean, that's Rachel's business—or maybe yours and Rachel's business—but if you feel comfortable telling me... Chloe: You think we're...together? Steph: It looks to me like you've got a thing for her, and maybe she has a thing for you...and I wouldn't want to get in the way. Chloe: I'm...uh, I—I don't know. It's...it's confusing.

Steph: Yeah, I—I can imagine. You ever wanna talk to me, Chloe, you know you can, right? By the time Max meets Chloe again in 2013, Chloe's confidence in her sexuality is as strong as Steph's was here. Max at 18 had no sexual experience, dating experience, or even a first kiss. She is experiencing her own discovery of her sexuality in this game. Unlike Chloe's journal where she wrote about rubbing one out to a woman, Max's journal suggests she hasn't given much thought to her sexuality and only knows she hasn't been able to find a groove with boys for some reason. Max is so focused on her photography and her own little world it feels clear to me it wasn't until she reunited with Chloe that she began to experience feelings she had never felt before, except in the past with Chloe when she had been to young to realize what any of it meant, further indicating demi for her. I should also make note of the condom Max can find in Chloe's jacket pocket. Some of the fandom look at this and wonder if Chloe may actually be bisexual. I think that condom was likely a left over one from her 'boy toy' phase. Condoms can also be used by lesbians as dental dams during oral sex on the vagina, so there's that possibility too. Though I think it's far more likely Chloe just had lots of condoms during her Elliot/boy toy era and had some left over ones. One thing is for sure, she makes it very clear to Max in conversations she is OVER boys now. I do need to make note of something also that many have felt could indicate bisexuality in Max and Chloe. Max's journals To study photography under Mark Jefferson... SIGH. Insert hearts and flowers.  He doesn't try to be too hip, just says what he thinks and expects us to as well. I think he's a genius. OMG I WANT TO MARRY HIM. Just joking. This one class is worth all the social dysfunction. Chloe's comments Chloe: Hot for teacher. Max: Gross! You are out of control. Chloe: Not yet. Just wait until the rager tonight... Max: Ugh, shut up. Chloe: Don't be jealous because Mark Jefferson thinks I'm cool... Max: I am so ignoring you.

I know these comments may again indicate bisexuality for some people, but for me I think of how as a lesbian myself we can see boys and men as cute/hot on a surface level way. We are not unaware of their attractiveness, it's just we have no interest or desire to go any further. It's interesting to me Max also used the words gross once again referring to a guy, though in this case it is also because he is a teacher. Max really admired Jefferson as a photographer, she writes he's been an inspiration for a long time, so having him teach at her school was very exciting for her, Jefferson is practically a celebrity in the Photography world and he's teaching at her school. Not only is Mark Jefferson one of the best photographers in the world, he's also my teacher. And one of the reasons I wanted to come to Blackwell. How often do you get to be mentored by one of your inspirations? I've always loved his deco and goth style and he's so versatile with all of his incredible print and advertising work Unlike her classmates, Max's fangirling seems to be coming from a place of admiration of an idol rather than her classmates, who seem to lust over him, such as Stella saying saying he was pretty hot for an older guy and if Victoria wasn't making a move on him, she would, Stella also comments she heard Rachel had sex with him (which we later learn was true from Rachel's letter). Max doesn't express feeling like this for Jefferson, even in her journal. As for Chloe, as discussed, has already made it clear before this how she feels about men, she is making an obvious observation I can acknowledge too - he IS hot for a teacher.

Chloe can see that. I think Chloe also wanted to tease Max, who she knew admired him and looked up to this teacher and loved seeing Max all flustered talking to a teacher she so admired - she also knew Max was flustered when she heard Max say Oh, hi, Mr. Jefferson. I'm okay. Um, and this is my...friend Chloe. Max hesitates a little to say friend, and we know from the journals we see Max write in the game she was aware they were starting to feel more than friends, so she even stumbles a little using the word friend, suggesting she had been close to considering saying girlfriend but stopped herself. Chloe: Me too. I'll be Max's date. You better dance with us at least once. Chloe also says this, so she was really trying to fluster Max, knowing the Max's date comment wasn't even really a joke with the feelings they had for each other but hadn't spoken out loud yet. So Chloe is having fun teasing Max a little with that and trying to embarrass her in front of the teacher she admires. We also need to discuss Max's Nightmare and one particular picture. First the picture. In episode 3, in Warren's locker, Max finds a picture of her and Warren. x The photo looks strange. Almost like he photoshopped himself into a picture of her. "Bet he developed that in Jefferson's class... but why?" In episode 1 he can say depending on your dialogue choices, Of course. I'd love to tweak one of your selfies with some cool graphics… And Max replies, "That might not suck. I'll let you know. She never lets him know to do it, and thus is a bit confused and uncomfortable sounding when she looks at the photo she finds in his locker.

Now Max's Nightmare. Max goes through so much in the game with no time to process, until she passes out and ends up trapped in her Nightmare. In the nightmare, you'll notice the light house is always in the distance, always a guide. Inside of her nightmare, she is chased and hounded only by men. Jefferson searches for her with a flashlight, soon joined by Frank and Nathan and David, men who have physically harmed her and those she loved or been aggressive and threatening to her. And another boy joins them. Warren. Warren walks the locker room and calls to her....

Warren: Max... Where are you? Max... Come out to play... Come out to play...! Warren: Ape, Ape, Ape... Who wants to "Go Ape"? Go Ape! Go Ape! Ape! Ape!!! Warren: You dig my wheels, Max? Get in the car, I'll take you for a ride... Get in the car! Warren: Brooke loves me, so why don’t you? Huh? What makes you so special? (determinant)Warren: Max, I know you're in here... You can run, but you can’t hide from your white knight... Give it up! Warren: What's up with you and that blue-haired loser? You need an alpha male, baby Warren: Did that get you hot when you saw me fuck up Nathan? I did. Warren: Max... imagine if we were in that Dark Room together... I have... Warren: I said, get in the car. Now. We'll cruise to the drive-in and you'll be close to me forever... and we'll... Go Ape, Ape, Ape!!!

Warren joining her nightmare is not insignificant. Max's Nightmare may be a very strange, scary and crumbling world but everything in her dream speaks to her very real fears and insecurities coming to life. We've talked about how avoidant Max can be with Warren, her journal entries expressing her discomfort on his feelings for her, her discomfort on that photoshopped photo she found. Nightmare Warren was a manifestation of her discomfort of the way he acted with her and his persistence. I want to next explore Max's Nightmare to help better understand the way her nightmare was Max's brain processing everything that had been happening to her and her feelings, so we can see how everything holds significance. The first part of her nightmare is in Jefferson's class, feeling trapped alone with him, forced to say horrible things against her will, like how he had her tied up against her will. All of his posters on his wall now have her on them, the models replaced with HER. x x To me highlighting how uncomfortable she is by his interest in her and the way men look at her. The next nightmare is trapped in the endless dorm hallway, where she meets Kate, who either is angry at her for not stopping her from jumping or angry at her for saving her because she didn't want to live. After she escapes this endless dorm hallway she ends up back in the school halls with everyone moving in reverse, with the doe guiding her through the bathroom door where she first saved Chloe. She then ends up in an art gallery being chased by Jefferson. Once she escapes him, she then ends up having to hide behind portraits from the searching light of Principal Wells making announcements such as saying she is wanted for the deaths of Chloe and Rachel, he even says "I regret to announce that one of your fellow classmates, Maxine Caulfield, has died under tragic circumstances that I promise to investigate after I get my drink on" showing how he hurt her too by the way he treated her when she walked out of the bathroom in episode 1 and was jumped on by him, whether she reports Nathan or not, she is treated like she did something wrong and doesn't feel like she can tell him what happened.

She then reaches the junkyard and is chased by Jefferson, Frank, Nathan, and David. Something very note worthy about the junkyard is how she is only safe from them in Chloe's junkyard sanctuary where she can have a moment of calm. "Max, sit down. You're taking a time-out no matter what. If this is my nightmare, let me have one sanctuary... Of course this is where Chloe... and Rachel... used to hide from the world... But I can't hide for long. Whatever reality I'm in... feels like a bad dream... Am I just not learning my lesson? Maybe your real lesson is to get out of this place... Just don't be afraid, Max. Let them be afraid of you." Soon she ends up in a maze of lockers, where she is once again chased by men, with Warren and Samuel joining them. But why? Starting with Samuel, him joining the dream may seem strange, until you consider the anxiety and distrust of men Max was experiencing. From Frank threatening her and Chloe, to David treating Chloe horribly (or possibly even hitting her) to Principal Wells not believing her or being willing to listen, to Nathan drugging Chloe and Kate, and Jefferson drugging her and Victoria and other girls, I think Samuel joining the dreams was a reflection of how Max was feeling distrustful of the men around her. She actually grows worried and concerned when she finds in Samuel's custodial room Rachel's photos and missing person posters and a silky scarf she knows doesn't belong to him. I think that's why he appears in her dream, as a manifestation of her distrust and anxiety of men after the events of the week. Now Warren, as I said, is also there in the nightmare for a reason. He is acting as a desperate lover, and I think Max felt that way about him in the game at times, judging by how she often ignored his texts or avoided him or wrote ew in her journal or how she sees him as a brother. She wasn't comfortable with his attraction to her, wasn't comfortable with the photo he appears to have photoshopped himself into. The dream version is obviously a more aggressive version of Warren, but it speaks to her inner fears about him and how uncomfortable she feels with his feelings for her. Perhaps because, she also isn't even into boys and is in the process of discovering that. In the nightmare, Max can also look into Warren's locker. And what she finds?

x She finds this. More photoshopping from Warren, with him photoshopping her face onto the bodies of women in sexy outfits taped all over his locker, with the words My Max written in his locker and a Max doll inside. You will also notice Max's selfie, the unedited version that Max finds in episode 3 in Warren's locker that he photoshopped her into. This is more indication on how uncomfortable Warren was making Max with his photoshopped photo she found and his behavior in general. It also feels like further fears of a lesbian uncomfortable with the male attraction and attention on her. She does not like it. She does not want it. To move forward with the dream, to further drive home the meaning put behind the things that happen in her dream, after Max escapes the men chasing her, she ends up sitting on the bench and ending up trapped in a snow globe as she watches her 13 year old self tear up the photo she used to save William. She then gets a text from William that says, "Hey Max, would you say hi to Chloe and Joyce? Don't forget to remind them that you let me die." The guilt of her failure to save William and letting him die again. She even gets a text from Joyce if she accepts Chloe's wish. "Max, we have surveillance video of you overdosing Chloe. You cannot escape now. There is no reality where you can hide now. Don't you dare underestimate me. You hear?

Max then ends up back in Mark Jefferson's dark room tied up, with him taking photos of her. Chloe is there too, and this time she's being quite mean to Max. But she's not being like Warren and acting creepy. Nightmare Chloe is voicing all of Max's insecurities in Chloe's voice.

Mr. Jefferson: I think you’d be perfect for my new photo series on retro-grunge... You have the same qualities that I loved in Rachel Amber... but not Max...

Chloe: Max is a fucking child...

Mr. Jefferson: Oh Christ, I know... and she never shuts up, does she?

Chloe: I’m so over her hipster bullshit.

Mr. Jefferson: I think everyone at Blackwell is over Max... Let’s prove it. Max kissed Chloe

Chloe: Booyah, Warren! I thought you were all over Max’s shit...

Warren: She's not all that... so who cares if she doesn't kiss me?

Chloe: You should have seen her make a move on me in my room... Hella lame.

Warren: Max should see me make a move on you... Come here...

Chloe kisses Warren. Max only kissed Warren

Chloe: Booyah, Warren! I thought you were all over Max’s shit...

Warren: Not after she kissed me... her breath was ass and no tongue...

Chloe: I hear that. I'm not into... nerds but you're pretty cute...

Warren: I'm not into Max, anyway. So let's bust a move...

Chloe kisses Warren. To note, Max very much looks like she gives Chloe tongue in their long kiss in Bay ending, unlike her very fast kiss with Warren. Having never kissed before until she does Chloe or Warren or both, she feels very insecure on if she is good at kissing.

Chloe: Holy shit, Warren! Max is trying to play us both!

Warren: I guess she's not as innocent as she acts...

Chloe: Not when she's trying to hook up with both of us...

Warren: I only want to go ape with you, Chloe... Come here...

Chloe: Booyah, Warren! I thought you were all over Max’s shit...

Warren: She's sure the hell not into me at all... who cares?

Chloe: I guess we're "not her type"... like Max has a fucking type?

Warren: But she does... She's into Mr. Jefferson... Now come here...

Chloe kisses Warren.

You'll notice whether Max kisses Chloe or not, this is all about Chloe flirting with a boy and taunting Max with what a loser she thinks she is, mirroring Max's own fears that she isn't cool or good enough for Chloe. She writes in her journal, I feel like a groupie when I talk to Chloe about our life experience... she has me so beat. I take pictures, she takes action. You might argue Warren was kissing Chloe too and that maybe she was experiencing some pain watching him flirt with others... but I don't think so. Max never admits to liking him back in the game. The most she says is in the alternate reality when Chloe asks if she's dating anyone at Blackwell. She says, "I was supposed to go out with this guy named Warren, but I don't think he's into me anymore..." or she says "This guy Warren asked me out, but I turned him down. Now he's with somebody else..." She doesn't say this boy I liked asked me out but now he's going with someone else, she just says she was 'supposed' to go out with him (because he asked about the drive in). With Chloe, she's straight up writing journals about seeing her as more than a friend. I don't think Max was experiencing pain and jealously because Warren was kissing Chloe, but because Chloe was kissing him. Her journal even confirms she wasn't upset about Warren kissing someone else, but upset Chloe was kissing someone other than her. Maybe that's why I hated watching Chloe being so cruel in the nightmare, calling me names and flirting with all those people... I was surprised that it was like a physical pain in my heart. Is that the power of friendship... or love? There is no mention of being in pain watching Warren kissing someone else.

Nathan: Goddamn, you are a sexy bitch! Why hang out with Max, huh? Chloe: Boredom. Plus she’s like my personal puppet. Nathan: I hear that. Do you... want to party? I got a drugstore in my room. Chloe: Oh shit! Look at Max spying on us... Take a fucking picture, bitch! Or take a selfie! Chloe stands on the couch in her underwear, dancing. Chloe: See, this is how you bust a move, Max... No mosh pit for you, shaka brah! Chloe: Damn, Victoria... You're a real woman... not a little girl like Max... Victoria: I fucking love your tats, Chloe. You're so hot. I can’t believe it took us so long to hook up... They begin to make out.

Chloe: Why did you get rewind powers? You don’t even know how to use them... Rachel’s dead and you’re still alive. Life is... so not fair. Chloe appears in front of Max and takes photos of her.

Chloe: I wish you would have never come back to Arcadia Bay... You’re the real storm. Chloe continues to voice Max's insecurities, she even voices Max's insecurities over being seen as a little girl. I always took this as Max insecure over her small chest, something smaller breasted girls often struggle with, making them almost feel like little girls. Nightmare Chloe is voicing every insecurity Max has that is making Max think Chloe wouldn't really want her. There is nothing like the sense of relief after waking up from a vivid nightmare. Despite all the terrible things that have been happening this past week, I felt so free and hopeful when I finally woke up. And my nightmare was so obvious... all my fears about being an artist, about my rewind power, and, of course, about my partner in crime and time, Chloe Price.

We've been through so much together and we might go through more, depending on how this all ends... either in Heaven or Hella... Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Max's journal continues to confirm the nightmare was about her fears, her rewind power and all about Chloe. Now the dream changes again, with Max trapped in the Two Whale Diner's bathroom with all these numbers written all over the room. Max is scared there may be no escape. But there's one number that shows in the mirror she can see. 0311. Chloe's birthday. Just like Chloe remembered her birthday, Max's sub conscious made Chloe's birthdate the number to save her from the room she was trapped in. Max then walks through the Two Whales Diner as everyone begs for her to save them. She soon encounters herself, Alternate Max, who challenges Max's choices and decisions. Alternate Max: Holy shit, are you cereal? I'm you, dumbass. Or I'm one of many Maxes you've left behind...

Alternate Max: Oh, so you want help? Thought you could control everybody and everything, huh? Twist time around your fingers

Alternate Max: No, you only wanted to be popular. And once you got these amazing powers, your big plan was to trick people into thinking you give a rat's ass. Alternate Max: By telling people what they want to hear? You were just looking for a shortcut, because you can't make friends on your own. Alternate Max: Please, stop playing innocent. You're a goddamn hypocrite. You've left a trail of death and suffering behind you. Max: This has to be my destiny to save her... I wouldn't be trapped in here if I didn't believe that... Alternate Max: No kidding. Chloe trapped you with her drama. Guns, drugs, Rachel... Even stealing money from the handicapped fund. She's just using you, dude./Alternate Max: No kidding. Chloe trapped you with her drama... guns, drugs, Rachel... She's just using you, dude.

Alternate Max: Like, she even asked you to end her life and do what she couldn't do by herself.

Max: Chloe does a better job of guilt-tripping me than you do.

Alternate Max: Because you let her bully you. It's called "Stockholm Syndrome." But you didn't do that homework... so you'll have to learn the hard way. Like Rachel...

Max: Just shut up. You're not scaring me anymore.

Alternate Max: I'd be more worried about Chloe killing us than Jefferson... Alternate Max: Max, do you really think she has any feelings for us? You're just another puppet...

Alternate Max brings up some true insecurities on how Max used her power and the choices she made, but Max boldly challenges this Alternate Max. Max isn't afraid anymore. This twisted nightmare version of herself is questioning all of Max's choices and also tries to turn her on Chloe, trying to suggest Chloe bullies her. I feel the need to give my Before you say Chloe is a bad friend post another poke - this Alternate Max is the darkest parts of Max trying to break her and Chloe apart, and Max, stronger and braver than ever is fighting back. She isn't scared anymore. And guess who finally shows up in the dream? Chloe. Right at the moment Alternate Max is questioning if Chloe really has feelings for her.

Chloe: Dude, do not even fuck with her head! She knows what we went through together this week and you don't! There's no way you can break up our team! This is reality! Chloe comes in and tells Alternate Max off. She calls her out, calls her out for lying and trying to mess with Max's head. Her anger at this Alternate Max drives Alternate Max out, and Max ends up in the final part of the nightmare, walking through a world of all their frozen memories in time.

Max relives everything, talking in Chloe's truck upon reuniting, Chloe gifting her William's camera, Chloe dancing on her bed as Max takes a picture, them on the cliff together discussing how it feels like destiny they're together again, them together at the Two Whales Diner, the junkyard, Max worrying her powers might not last forever and Chloe promising they will, forever. Them calling each other their partners in time and crime at Blackwell, swimming at the pool, calling each other cute, Max waking up next to Chloe in bed for a photo and Chloe photo bombing her, Chloe's kiss dare, the discovery in Frank's RV, when she goes back in time to save William FOR Chloe, she and Chloe at the beach talking about the golden hour, she and Chloe looking back on childhood memories and Chloe requesting her final memory be with Max... Max's excitement returning to Chloe again, the dark room discovery, Chloe crying as she finds Rachel.

And then Chloe's voice, calling out to Max.

Chloe: Come on Max, we’re almost there! Please wake up! Max, can you hear me? Hang on, Max, we can make it! Listen to me! Max! We’re near the lighthouse! Wake up! Dammit, Max, don't let me down!

Chloe: Max, come on now! Don't worry... we'll be okay. It is Chloe who saves Max from the nightmare. Chloe is the lighthouse. She is the guiding light. When Max awakens, Chloe has gotten them to safety. Max's love of Chloe leads her out of the nightmare. And now that we have gone over the dream in detail, you can see how Warren's role in the nightmare was that role for a reason. Everything in the dream had meaning. Max came out of that dream realizing they were more than friends. Questioning if it was the power of friendship or love? I think Chloe Price and Max Caulfield are both lesbians. By the end Life is Strange Before the Storm, Chloe has figured herself out. She likes girls and girls only. Max is on the path to figuring herself out in Life is Strange. Max may be able to kiss Warren in the game, but Chloe also kissed boys and had sex with them before she realized herself. I understand not everyone may agree, I understand the bisexual representation many see with Max is important but I also think it's important to not ignore what the game shows us and take that into consideration. Going back to the Cliff, where Max says to Chloe Max: Fuck that! No... no way! You are my number one priority now. You are all that matters to me. All she is thinking about on that cliff is Chloe, not Warren, but Chloe. Her love for Chloe outshines him or anyone else in the town. You can't not notice it is only Chloe with Max as the storm comes toward the town. She didn't get Warren to safety, she got Chloe there, Chloe got her there. She says these things to Chloe on the beach. Max: Oh, you're alive! You're alive, oh... Both of us! I did so much to bring you back, Chloe... and it worked. It actually worked. You're with me again. All she is thinking about is Chloe. Max: Maybe I willed it subconsciously, or something. I always wanted my life to be special... an adventure... but not without you. And it didn't happen until I moved back here, so... without you, my powers wouldn't even exist. On the cliff, Chloe: You... You could use that photo to change everything right back to when you took that picture... All that would take is for me to... to... [Chloe holds her face in her hands]

Max: Fuck that! No... no way! You are my number one priority now. You are all that matters to me.

Chloe: I know. You proved that over and over again... even though I don't deserve it. I'm so selfish... not like my mom... Look what she had to give up and live through... and she did. She deserves so much more than to be killed by a storm in a fucking diner. Even my step... father deserves her alive. There's so many more people in Arcadia Bay who should live... way more than me...

Max: Don't say that... I won't trade you. Chloe: You're not trading me. Maybe you've just been delaying my real destiny... Look at how many times I've almost died or actually died around you. Look at what's happened in Arcadia Bay ever since you first saved me. I know I've been selfish, but for once I think I should accept my fate... our fate...

Max: Chloe...

Chloe: Max, you finally came back to me this week, and... you did nothing but show me your love and friendship. You made me smile and laugh, like I haven't done in years. Wherever I end up after this... in whatever reality... all those moments between us were real, and they'll always be ours. No matter what you choose, I know you'll make the right decision.

In the end, Max can let Chloe convince her the right thing to do is save everyone, but it is important to note it is Chloe who has to give Max the idea, as Max cannot let her mind go there with Chloe as she loves her to much. If she chooses to let Chloe die, she gives Chloe a long, long kiss goodbye, full of her love and feelings. If she chooses to save her, Chloe promises her she'll always be with her and Max says Forever, showing her love for Chloe and that she wants to be with her... forever.

Oh and I almost forget to mention this special detail During the storm, Max finds this x about October road trips and drive ins. Max thinks "If we can make it out of this, Chloe..." She isn't thinking about Warren, she's thinking about wanting to go on a road trip or drive in with Chloe. There are also lots of unused audio x that really make things clear like this one. Max during the interactive Chloe and Max museum path in her nightmare: "Oh, my Chloe... It feels like we've lived a thousand lives this week. I'd do anything just to wake up next to you... Maybe if I get to the lighthouse, this will all finally end.. x In February 2016, Michel Koch confirmed that Max and Chloe is the ultimate pairing during a Twitch stream with Luc Baghadoust. When interviewers asked about romance (i.e. Max and Chloe's relationship), he replied: "Chloe et Max ne marchent qu'ensemble", which means they "only walked together" (as also in romantically attached to each other) as in they are a great pair and can only function with each other.

Another point I want to make as I near the end of this post, that Max and Chloe's love interests are women (Max with Chloe, Chloe with Rachel and Max) and they both express at times disgust towards the opposite sex and their supposed loved interests (Warren and Elliot) that feels very lesbian in nature, in contrast to Sean and Alex who are bisexual, who have equal sexual attraction shown to both sexes, with Sean having Cassidy and Finn and Alex having Steph and Ryan and being equally attracted and comfortable with them, versus how Max and Chloe behave with Warren and Elliot. Their love for the women in their lives outshines the men they feel discomfort in, as Max's nightmare even explores. I think if Max and Chloe were actually bisexual, they wouldn't spend all their screen time only able to see boys as surface level cute (or hot as Chloe put Jefferson) and otherwise be repulsed by boys. Having played this game many times, closely paying attention to the scenes, the dialogue, the journals, the texts... I truly think it was the intent of the creators that Max and Chloe are lesbians. But I think they as of yet have not confirmed anything because they feel it is important to allow players to discover on their own what their sexuality is, by piecing together details they so carefully crafted into the story. I still hope one day they confirm lesbian to us. I understand the bi label is important for many for Max, but playing the game so many times... lesbian just feels more Max. And for those of us who have taken notice, we want more people to see what we see. Thank you for reading, feel free to share around or send to people you want to better understand why some of us view Max and Chloe as lesbians - though I think most agree Chloe is a lesbian, it's more Max that has everyone divided! This is a post I wanted to write for my Max blog to share my headcanons around Max being exclusively same sex attracted along with Chloe and for others who feel the same about them being lesbians to have a post that covers lots of details that can be shared or quoted for those who wanted others to understand better why so many call Max a lesbian too!

[aylinaliens]

there is something profoundly bittersweet about songjam & aksorn. a mirror and an entire parallel world keeps these two separated from each other and yet there is this…natural intimacy that exists. they can’t physical touch each other, the only thing they could do is press against the glass on both sides and imagine what it would feel like, but right from the start it was clear that songjam and aksorn has this unspoken (but very real) connection

they comfort each other. they watch movies and listen to music and genuinely communicate. it’s not said how much time has passed, whether it’s a few days or longer than that, but either way their relationship feels very real.

this realness was especially evident when songjam asked aksorn to pick a record. the one aksorn picked was more slow, it was very much the type of record you would listen to as you slow dance in a darkly lit room with someone you care about. and guess what? songjam & aksorn very much slow danced together and it was one of the most authentically romantic scenes i’ve seen in a long time

songjam teaching aksorn how to dance was the sweetest. they can’t actually hold or embrace each other because of the mirror but that doesn’t stop them from fully living their swoonworthy first little dance moment that is a little bit awkward and silly at times. yeah they can’t touch each other but i honestly think it adds to the romanticism. they were so smiley and soft and tender as they swayed back and forth. it very much feels like the audience are invading in this private moment between songjam & aksorn.

and what gets me even more in this scene is that they kiss the camera spins around until both backgrounds of the different worlds blurs into one

that invisible barrier disappears as they lean in and kiss. everything else fades away at that moment. the kiss is just as heartfluttering as the scenes where songjam & jam touch through the mirror or simply sit next to each other. and what’s going to inevitably kill me is that there is a very real possibility that this could be a sad ending. really, how can two people from different worlds be together? i feel like the writers intentionally packed this first episode with so many sweet moments and established this mutual tension between two very touch starved individuals

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: many worlds, portal fantasy edition

A typical portal fantasy follows a human from our world who steps through a portal into a magical land (think of narnia). But there are many fun variations of this trope! Sometimes it's the magical people who come to our world; sometimes we get to follow people who have returned from their adventures and are seeking for new meaning; sometimes our world isn't involved at all. As might be assumed, most portal fantasies are fantasy stories, but some lean more toward magical realism, others toward sci-fi. It's a fun spectrum!

I'm separating portal fantasies from alternate timelines/parallel worlds type stories (which will get their own rec post soon-ish). I also generally do not include stories where the character travels to fairyland/land of the dead/etc as those feel like a genre of their own to me, but the lines between them sometimes blur and this is, obviously, a subjective list.

(Titles marked with * are my personal favorites)

Other book rec posts:

Really cool fantasy worldbuilding, really cool sci-fi worldbuilding, dark sapphic romances, mermaid books, vampire books

For more detailed info on the books, continue under the cut.

The Magicians (Magicians trilogy) by Lev Grossman*

You may not have heard of this book, but you have probably heard of the scyfy series of the same name that crashed and burned a few years ago. This is the book it’s based on (pros: it doesn’t end in the same way; cons: it doesn’t feature the juggernaut ship of the show in any major way). For the uninitiated: features what is essentially a (secret) magic university for tormented geniuses. When he finds magic isn't enough to grant him happiness, main character Quentin goes digging into the truth surrounding his favorite childhood books searching for meaning, and finds out that the magical other world they describe might not be so fictional after all.

Stray (Touchstone trilogy) by Andrea K. Höst*

Young adult told through diary entries. Including this as a portal fantasy is a bit of a stretch, but essentially: Cassandra unkowingly walks through a wormhole and lands herself on another planet, where she has to survive on her own until she is rescued. Soon she finds herself embroiled in a war between creatures from dreamlike other dimensions and the people who saved her. Skirts the line between scifi and fantasy (it has psychic space ninjas!), but generally feels mostly like sci-fi. Absolutely fantastic worldbuilding.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan*

Young adult. Kids who can walk between our world and a magical one get recruited into a magical school that trains them either to be fighters or sort-of diplomats. Our lead decides that fighting is stupid and that he’s going to peacefully solve every conflict ever, all while being the most delightfully obnoxious little brat possible and getting incolved in the most bisexual love triangle imaginable. Very good, funny, and heart-felt coming of age story.

NPCs (Spells, Swords, & Stealth series) by Drew Hayes*

This one only counts as a portal fantasy on a technicality and on the fact that I love it and this is my list. Follows a group of DnD players whose characters immediately die, forcing them to make new characters, and, parallel to their adventures, a group of NPCs from the fantasy world who find themselves forced to take the place of a party of recently deceased adventurers. The two parties do cross path on occasion, but there aren't actually any portals involved as all characters (mostly) stay in their respective world. A fun and light-hearted adventure that turns a lot of the expected tropes of the genre and of character archetypes on their heads.

The Time of the Dark (The Darwath series) by Barbara Hambly

1982 classic. Medieval history student Gil and biker Rudy are complete strangers, but when they get mixed up with a wizard from another world the two must work together to survive and get back home. Fairly traditional fantasy with its fair share of issues, but! It has cool swordswomen, creepy lovecraftian monsters and also mammoths!

The Twelve Kingdoms by Fuyumi Ono*

Young adult, light novel. Yoko Nakajima is a regular high school student, or at least she was one until a strange man showed up in her school, swore allegiance to her and whisked her away to another world. As the two get separated, Yoko is stuck on her own in a strange world, hunted by humans and demons alike as she travels in search of a way home. Absolute high point of isekai literature, with an incredible main character and really cool and unique worldbuilding (also available as an anime, however I have yet to watch it and can't speak to its quality just yet).

Peter Darling by Austin Chant*

Novella. An older Peter Pan returns to Neverland after years spent in our world, only to find that everything is different. Before he knows it, he finds himself working with his lifelong enemy, Captain Hook. Very gay and very trans, with interesting takes on toxic masculinity. Made my heart ache in the best of ways.

A Curse so Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer

Young adult. A retelling of beauty and the beast, where 'beauty' is a girl brought in from our world to a fantastical one and the narrative focuses a lot on what actually happens to the kingdom when the royal family suddenly disappears, and whether it’s even possible to fall in love with someone you know is deliberately trying to seduce you to break a curse. This is part one of a trilogy, however I'm only really recommending the first book as the second did not work for me at all.

The Golden Compass (His Dark Materials trilogy) by Philip Pullman

Young adult/middle grade, fantasy but has a lot of sci-fi aspects as well. Already well-known and for good reason, the His Dark Materials trilogy starts as what seems a pretty typical fantasy with some cool unique aspects (everyone has a soul-bound animal only they can speak to as their best friend!), and soon veers into a truly one of a kind story. It has magical portals, it has strange worlds with equally strange inhuman creatures, it has physics, it has god murder, it has gay angels, it has tragedy, and it’s very much worth your time.

Every Heart a Doorway (Wayward Children series) by Seanan McGuire*

A tumblr favorite, the Wayward Children novellas feature a school open to children who have returned from adventures in other realms and now have trouble adapting back to regular life. Some installments are set in our world, others follow children as they have their otherworldly adventures. The main characters vary between books, but are generally pretty diverse with among others asexual, trans, intersexual and sapphic leads. Both funny and dark, it takes a closer look at the trauma many endure growing up different.

Otherside Picnic (Otherside Picnic series) by Iori Miyazawa

Sapphic light novel with a surreal and episodic horror vibe. Following the directions of an urban legend, university student Sorawo finds her way to a reality populated by horrifying creatures from ghost stories and modern urban legends (of which I'm sure you'll recognize many). Here she teams up with fellow explorer Toriko, both to both find out more about this strange world and to help Toriko find a missing loved one. Also available as a manga and (one season of) an anime.

Last Bus to Everland by Sophie Cameron

Young adult. Brody is dealing with a lot, but it all gets a little easier when he meets Nico, who shows him how to access Everland, a magical land where he feels less out of place. But when the doors to Everland start disappearing, Brody must choose which world is really home. I'd categorize this less as fantasy and more as coming of age with a fantasy slant. It's also very gay.

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern

Surreal and fairy tale-esque, The Starless Sea is stories within a story, following graduate student Zachary as he finds a strange book which, in-between other tales, tells a story from his own childhood. Trying to find out how this came to be, Zachary gets involved with a pink-haired woman and a handsome man who are doing their utmost to protect a strange, otherworldly library available only through magical doors. It's a book hard to put in words, but which I once described as "romantic without being a romance while stile having a love story at it's core", and which can be summed up only as "an Experience". It's also quite gay!

The Memory Theater by Karin Tidbeck

Listen, there’s a whole bunch of Swedish portal fantasies I read growing up that I'm dying to include here, but I'm not because they’re not available in English. The Memory Theater however is available, and is very good. Two children who were stolen into an otherworldly realm that wants them dead fight return to earth, and are followed by one of their captors across universes. The story has the feel of a dark fairy tale, and their captors, while not fey, are very reminiscent of them.

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow*

Historical young adult, more magical realism than fantasy. In the early 20th century, January is living under the care of her father's employer while he travels the world searching for valuables and secrets. But both her father and her caretaker are keeping something from her, something about her own family's history. When she one day stumbles upon a strange book, one that speaks of other worlds, she finally sets out to find the truth. However, there are those seeking to stop her and destroy the doors between worlds, no matter what.

The Hollow Places by T. Kingfisher*

Horror rather than fantasy. After having divorced, Kara moves to stay with her uncle and help him run his museum of curiosities, until one day she discovers a hole in the wall of his house. The hole leads to a strange bunker, and beyond that, a dark and dangerous world beyond her understanding. In the company of a friend, she goes to explore this world, but quickly comes to regret her decision to do so.

The Unspoken Name by A.K. Larkwood*

The sort of portal fantasy you get when all the worlds connected by portals are fantasy worlds, and none of them are ours. The portals themselves become simply a part of the worldbuilding that the characters use to travel between fascinating places, and it's all really cool. It follows Csorwe (lesbian orc assassin whom I love), who grew up in a cult, indoctrinated as a child sacrifice to a god. But on the day she was meant to die, she instead chose to follow a powerful wizard and train to become his loyal servant and sword. Aside from being an excellent fantasy, it's also a close look at the hard path of unlearning indoctrination and the search for love and validation where you'll never find it, and learning to live for yourself.

Odin's Child (the Raven Rings trilogy) by Siri Pettersen

Norwegian (vaguely Norse mythology inspired) young adult. Fifteen-year-old Hirka grew up thinking she simply lost her tail to a wolf attack, but one day she finds out she never had one: she's an Odin's child, a human, sent from another world and rumored to spread rot and ruin wherever she goes. To keep her secret safe, she goes on the run, but there are forces hunting for her, wanting to use her in their war. This reads mostly as a fairly typical epic fantasy, with the portal aspect not playing a major role until the second book.

The Barbed Coil by J.V. Jones

1997 classic. Tessa is a young woman with little going for her, until she stumbles upon a strange ring that transports her to a magical and dangerous other land. Here she meets Ravis, a mercenary who takes it upon himself to protect her, and discover her own special abilities, which she must use against an evil king whose mind has been corrupted and taken over by his crown, the Barbed Coil.

Skeen's Leap (Skeen trilogy) by Jo Clayton

1986 classic. While most portal stories are fantasy, this one has a distinct sci-fi flavour. Skeen is master thief wanted in a myriad solar systems, until her spaceship gets stolen and she's stranded on a backwater planet. Here she hears rumors of ruins leading to a strange other land. Hoping for treasure enough to get her off-planet, Skeen goes in search of this place, but finds herself stuck and unable to get back. This one has a unique, almost stream of consciousness prose that takes a while getting used to, but rewards you with a one of a kind experience.

Inkheart (Inkworld trilogy) by Cornelia Funke

German middle grade/young adult, in which the fantastical other worlds are those told of in books. Young Meggie's father has the ability to, when he reads, bring things and people out of the books, or put other people into said books. However, once having done so, he knows of no way to put anyone back where they belong. Now, years after he accidentally brought the terrible villain Capricorn and his henchmen out of their book, he and his daughter must evade them at all costs or be forced to bring further horrors out of the page and into the world.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool

An Accident of Stars by Foz Meadows

A teenage girl accidentally follows a worldwalker from her world to a magical realm on the brink of civil war. I believe this on has both a major polyamorous relationship and ace/aro characters?

The Sleeping Dragon (Guardians of the Flame series) by Joel Rosenberg

1983 classic. A group of college dnd players find themselves transported to the magical realm they previously thought just a game.

The Wandering Inn by Pirateaba

Webnovel. After having been transported to a magical world, Erin decides to, rather than become a warrior or a mage, start running an inn.

Honorary mentions AKA these didn't really work for me but maybe you guys will like them: The Marked Girl by Lindsey Klingele, The Summer Tree by Guy Gavriel Kay, Child of a Hidden Sea by A.M. Dellamonica, Spellsinger by Alan Dean Foster, The Shattered Gates by Ginn Hale, The Awakening by Nora Roberts, Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor.

[alienatedtsuki]

Redefining the normal | Post Chapter 698/699, NaruSasu/SasuNaru Part III

before today is over by oshit Above him, Sasuke leans over the edge of the pier to watch. Naruto hears him laugh and even with his face draped in shadow, he can imagine Sasuke’s cheshire grin, eyes crinkling with mirth. He feels Sasuke smiling at him. Naruto would pluck every star from the heavens to keep that feeling. - This fic is about a fantastic day near the sea that boys spent with each other. How Sasuke tries to court Naruto is way too cute.  NaruSasu/SasuNaru | First Date | Talks about Feelings (12,280)

Baker's Dozen by mylilchickadee In the aftermath of war, Sasuke struggles to deal with his new life while Naruto struggles to deal with him. Love, friendship, and baking. - First, amazing recipes. I love the idea of how Sasuke decided to express his fondness for Naruto with baking. Second, this fanfic has a lot of angst; all the problems are there, and there are even some suicide attempts from Sasuke's side. But they eventually figured everything out. NaruSasu/SasuNaru | Angst | Baking | Gardening | First kiss | Love Confessions (24,820)

Enough by MadeNew Their final battle is ending. Sasuke's winning. And then he wakes up in a world where Naruto was never born - and all the changes that come with it. - Sasuke is sent by Naruto to another dimension, where he figures out how life would be without him in it. I love how well Sasuke is written in this fic; this is what I call an eye-opener. His talk with Minato is incredible.  NaruSasu/SasuNaru | Angst | Parallel universe(he goes back to Naruto at the end) | Love Confessions  (6,607)

Won't Let Go by ninagum (orphan_account) Naruto and Sasuke wake up at the hospital after the war, worn-out, with an invisible red-string still laced between them. "You’ve called me your friend so many times... But..." "Say it." "I don't think you really mean it like that." - This fic is one of my all-time favourites. In this one, Naruto kills the council! I was so happy when I read it; I love darker Naruto in the fics. I love how the writer decided to encapture their dynamic with a lot of angst, passion, and open questions. It took some time to find what would work for them. This fic is just exceptional. NaruSasu/SasuNaru | Angst | Dark Naruto | Happy Ending(They are together in every universe) (66,441)

And here's the reason why I wasn't there…I am learning how to draw so that I can add cute fan art to every recommendation post. This is my take on the ending of a cute comic about Naruto saying Sasuke is his friend. Enjoy <3

[gamerbearmira]

heya again <3

so...i got some more giftless grandkids thoughts here, written in bullet points because my brain just kept going AHAHHAHA

I’m currently listening to the vocal mashup of the grandkids of waiting on a miracle while im going through the giftless grandkids tag as im taking a break from other aus, it’s very fun and sets the mood somehow AHHAHHA

I’m really glad they have each other and are thriving even without their gifts, and they likely already got used to not having gifts and wouldn’t care, and that’s so real of them

The mashup is making me think of some things tho, ngl AHHAHAH

But anyway, yes, I currently have many thoughts

Was thinking about the reasons for why Casita would crack and fall, considering the kids are close with each other here and the adults (minus Alma oof) are all there supporting them, Bruno included since he never went to the walls

And as I read some of your posts and think about it more, it makes sense

There are several main things that would make Casita crack here—aka the family themselves cracking—would be:

Ofc, there’s still Alma’s pressure on the triplets and her confusion and unintentional hurt towards the grandkids

Most likely how Julieta is hiding the big secret on why they didn’t get their gifts and also their doorknobs

Another is how Pepa and Bruno are also hiding the vision tablet from everyone but specifically Julieta

Still trying to think of other reasons, but those are the main ones, I think

In canon, Bruno had been patching up the cracks, which definitely helped Casita stay up longer, but he never went to the walls here, so how would Casita and the family last until a little after Antonio’s ceremony (assuming we’re still going with something similar to canon timeline)?

Here is where the kids’ good relationships come in, their love and care are helping hold things together, even without Bruno repairing the cracks

The process of Casita cracking would be slower here compared to canon

So what happens when the kids—the main reasons for Casita still being able stand—are faced with the revelation that they could have gotten their gifts back then? Could have possibly avoided a lot of heartache and ridicule and disappointment from the people around them? And the reason they didn’t are because of the adults? Because of Julieta?

They hyperfocus on the bad parts, overshadowing the good parts because its an intense and shocking moment and revelation for them, I think

In the moment of the revelation, that’s likely going to upset them, maybe even break them a little, because why? Why did they—? 

Of course, they’ll later have the full realization that they grew up happier without the gifts, but again, that’s later

Also, pretty sure they focus more on the fact that it seemed like the adults they trusted lied and deceived them in a sense, almost like a betrayal (except ofc its not)

This, too, would connect to how Julieta says in that one giftless grandkids art of yours, “I didn’t want to hurt them—to hurt anyone.”

And then, with the love faltering for a moment, that’s how Casita falls apart

Also, why am I imagining the kids finding the vision tablet that Pepa and Bruno are likely hiding, making them realize what Julieta is hiding, which then starts the realizations, arguments, and full-on cracking of Casita?

This would then parallel canon with Bruno’s vision too

This means we get to see all the kids trying to figure things out together too

After everything, I can really see Julieta and the rest of the adults gifting the kids their doorknobs again as a surprise—which they will later use to get their gifts too AHAHHAHA YEAHHH

Anywho, ye, just some thoughts I have hehe <33

Literally listened to that bop today so real 😭😭

ANYWAY. Y'all might not now, but Mic here as been helping me in world building for this au 🤭🤭 its gonna be one of the next fics I do, since Mamabel and Werewolf are finished (will be updating today after I finish Mama Isa. And if my wifi will let me <\\\3)

ANYWAY THESE IDEAS?? ARE SO RAD...Triplets being in the spotlight because the grandkids have no gifts, its so sad. But honestly, Alma is just pushing them because she needs to prove that the miracle is ok. Implying that the kids did something. Subtle, but whatever.

Also, the kids are like Mirabel in canon, constantly trying to prove themselves and helping out around town. Meanwhile there's a certain group of villagera who don't even like them. Not all the villagers, but definitely a good chunk. There may or may not be a rather crude mural somewhere in town out of the way. But there :(

But anyway. The kids do have hobbies relating to their gifts! The husbands, feeling guilty, gave the kids presents, gifts to give them something to do since Alma couldn't "assign" them anything (which they were grateful for).

Isabela got some gardening gloves and tools, and is really into gardening and farming, and is always tending to her garden or helping out with the farmers in town. She also tends to all the plants in Casita. Dolores loves to play music, and after Félix gave her first guitar, she was hooked. She has tons of instruments, and actually taught Mirabel to play the accordion; she helps with entertainment, like Camilo. Agustín got Luisa some dumb bells, she actually asked for them. She wanted to strong and still help out, and regulating exercises and mostly helps out with packing and loading or at the quarry.

Camilo was give some costumes and puppies, and he's been into performances and theater since. He also performs for the kids, and plays alongside Dolores often. Mirabel was given new sewing stuff. Instead of Alma teaching her most of what she knew, Agustín helped her, since he knew some, and she kept the fashion and crafts hobby up. She helps repair things around town, and does the occasional clothing repair. Antonio still is finding his hobby, but the grandkids know he really loves animals. They actually suggested Félix get him a pet. So what does he get him? A parrot. Antonio loves that parrot like no other, and he's always around him, trailing behind Luisa.

DESIGNS 🌚🙏🙏 I'll post the family tree later, and maybe draw the triplets because their designs changed but me and Mic are still working in them. But the kids❗❗ Their clothes are very plain and dull, because the seamstress refused to make their clothes any fun. Even Mirabel can only embroider so much, and she rarely has time to do so cause she's so busy helping. But there's some subtle designs <33

Julieta really did and does mean well in this au, but drastic actions really do cause drastic results in some cases. Her pull those doorknobs was definitely drastic. While the kids are happier and aren't nearly as pressured, they feel inadequate, and like something is missing :(( And then there's vision tablet (that's like over 40 years old 💀), but that's a whole other can of worms.

ANYWAY. AO3 HOPEFULLY LATER MY WIFI IS :((( Also I'll be posting the finished storyboards for the WOOM animatic I'm working on, and then I'll also post the rough video put together with it. SHOUTOUT TO @thefourchimes FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS SHE'S SO COOL <333 should tote check out her aus, they're so cool. ψ(｀∇´)ψ

[onlycosmere]

Comatose: Kind of a similar question about the Midnight Essence, now that we have seen that crop up in Tress as well as in Stormlight Archive. Is something similar happening with the Midnight Essence? We have also the Nightmares, in Yumi, that appear similar, they're also mimicking things.

Brandon Sanderson: So, there's a couple of things getting interwoven here. The actual idea of Midnight Essence is a concept like lightweaving that predates the Shattering of Adonalsium, that various magic systems are basically "borrowing" a law of the cosmere and creating a parallel effect from the same basis, if that makes any sense.

Yumi is a little distinct from that. It's feeling similar; I would not call it true Midnight Essence. It's an awful lot more like a lightweaving that has - because lightweavings can have mass to them, because investiture can have mass to it - so you're looking a little bit more like... imagine a bunch of stormlight becoming tangible, you can touch it, because of a powerful lightweaving or something like that.

Of course, these things all bleed together because I'm using the same fundamental principles to make them. But, for me, Midnight Essence has this personality that comes prefixed. What the Midnight Mother is making, what you're seeing in the Midnight Sea and things like this, you're gonna get some similar personalities to these things, and not necessarily the same with the Nightmares.

Comatose: So it's more of a autonomous-- a lightweaving that's become autonomous and has kind of broken down a bit?

Brandon Sanderson: Yeah...  the problem is it's also got the Cognitive Shadow, right? It's a really invested cognitive shadow that is borrowing this investiture to interact with the world. Because these are their shadows; these are their cognitive shadows, all of these people's cognitive shadows. But the power is not themselves.

Remember, a Cognitive Shadow is a little bit like a fossil, like Vasher describes it. You've got this pattern there, and then the power kind of makes it manifest and be able to interact, and things like that. And, when that personality asserts itself with that power in the right place, you end up with a person that is the shadow running it. But at the same time, you've got this mass of power and energy that the machine is kind of controlling, which pulls back and overrides the personality sometimes. You've got a very weird set of circumstances going on here.

But it was very fun to figure out all the backstory and the behind on it, and get it all working. This one was a little complex, to get these things all working behind the scenes. I like how they turned out. Yumi, if you dig into it, it has both pluses and minuses.

The minuses is - from the beta readers and the alpha readers - the ending for non-arcanists was really overwhelming, which is why we have those Hoid scenes where he's like, "Okay, let me explain." It seems pretty obvious, I would expect that this is, like, "Alright, Brandon needs to do better explanations, Hoid's just gonna do it." But, because of all the work I did behind the scenes on Yumi, Yumi matches kind of cosmerological magic system stuff in ways that a lot of the side projects that I do just don't.

Yumi is very deeply intertwined and following all of these processes in a way that works really well for me. But it also gets you into where you start to need a master's degree in the cosmere to figure it all out, which is why to make it easier, we have Hoid just spell it out for people. It is a little clunky; I prefer the clunkiness to the previous version where you needed a master's degree in the cosmere to understand even what was going on.

[pix3lplays]

Hello, 🌌 Anon here! Boy, it's been a while lol. How are you doing?

I hope you don't mind this being a half-request as well as a half-"hi it's me again" msg. It feels like I haven't gone on this blog in 30 years tbh lol-

May I request: Author!Reader who writes all sorts of genres of books! The best thing about this (perhaps worse, depending on perspective) is that they're universe-widely known!

Characters: IL Dan Heng (or just regular Dan Heng), Gepard, and Welt!

I hope you're doing okay :) Stay safe and happy! I know I'm not usually the anon who jumps on it, but you better be taking breaks and taking care of yourself in general or I will see that coffee machine of yours into a black hole (/j)

But really though, tysm for your posts. I mentioned in a previous request that it always makes me happy, and it still does :D

Hey, 🌌 Anon! I’m doing good enough, thanks💕💕hope you’ve been taking care of yourself💕

And welcome, it’s so good to hear from you again!

I appreciate the concern! I’ll take care of myself, just don’t hurt my coffee machine!!!😂😂

And thank you for the cute request! I think I’ll do Regular Dan Heng for now, until I know more about IL, but thanks for giving me a choice!

And THANK YOU FOR LIKING MY POSTS AAAAA IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME and I’m so glad they make you happy💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

-Honkai star rail men with a famous Author!Reader-

Dan Heng: is a big inspiration for your fictional novels. He’s heroic and strong and stoic, everything a main character should be! He doesn’t seem to notice the parallels when he reads your novels though. But if he did I’m sure he’d be flattered.

His favorite books of yours are actually your fiction stories. He’s a big reader, but he doesn’t usually read fiction. Your his big exception. He actually enjoys your fictional stories. It’s kinda an honor to know that someone who doesn’t really care for fiction enjoys your work, especially your boyfriend.

Gepard Landau: basically has to act as your personal bodyguard when you get recognized in public by a large enough crowd. He’s practically shooing people away! He doesn’t mind doing it for you though.

His personal favorite books of yours are your self help books. He has a copy of every single one, even signed by you.

Your advice is always helpful and timely, and he finds himself applying your advice a Lot in his daily life. Especially your points on being patient, and dealing with your family. He really needs more patience, and help dealing with his sister. Thanks to you becoming such an important part of his life, and your self help books, he’s found himself getting along a little easier with Serval, even if she’s just as volatile as ever haha.

Welt Yang: Welt Yang is so proud of you for becoming a famous author. Not many people know this, but he actually illustrates the covers of your books. There are a couple of diehard fans that Do know this fact though, and get very very excited to see the pair of you together in public.

He finds the little attention he gets embarrassing, so he can only imagine how you feel, getting recognized everywhere and all that.

He of course reads all your books, but his personal favorites are your memoirs and autobiographies. He loves being able to read about your thoughts and feelings. It means a LOT to him, and he feels like the two of you grow closer when he gets to read about you from you. (And he enjoys the parts where he gets mentioned in your books.)

[bestworstcase]

I'm still on the train of thought that if Ruby is going to have some kind of violent outburst as part of this breakdown, she's more likely to direct it towards breaking crescent rose than attacking anyone like Neo or Jaune (an internalized sort of anger for perceived failings, she's supposed to be the ideal hero, the hopeful one, leader with all the answers but she just can't anymore, and by extension any desire to put that weight down for a while means something is wrong with her, not the world that put her in this position to begin with).

Maybe Neo might push the issue and make herself an acceptable target for her to vent that anger towards in the form of violence instead, but honestly Ruby just seems fucking tired right now more than angry. I don't fully understand where this desire to see her go bloodthirsty on someone is coming from?

now THIS i can see. what immediately sprang to mind is a parallel to ruby cutting down a tree with one slice to vent her feelings in V1—except this time smashing crescent rose blunt-side into something like a boulder or pillar. the same overpowering wordless fury exploding out as this flash of impulsive destruction, but directed at crescent rose instead of using crescent rose as the instrument for that feeling. and then i’d imagine, shortly afterward some dawning regret and maybe fixing the damage or reforging crescent rose altogether as part of working through the underlying crisis. i think that fits neatly with where ruby’s at rn. and it would be a really potent way to visually showcase what she’s feeling!

the other thing i’ve been thinking is that ruby might have taken it with her when she left because she’s going to look for the blacksmith. the blacksmith made her an offer, which ruby declined on the grounds that she already had (or used to have) her own weapon, and anyway she can handle it—and the blacksmith accepted that refusal but also added “if you change your mind…”—& now ruby’s realizing that she really can’t handle it and in fact doesn’t WANT to be forced to carry this burden, and she has the weapon that represents that burden in her hands now, and the blacksmith implicitly told her to come back if things changed. so…

one of the big questions i have for 9.8 is whether ruby is going to miserably isolate herself (like she did in V8) or if she’s going to try asking the ever after for help. bc right from the start, this world has been telling her “you don’t have to. you can stop. you get to choose. what do YOU want?” and i think that played a huge role in bringing this to the surface. its the combination of being so beaten down AND the sudden contrast of how the ever after cares about how she feels and what she wants.

it’s often difficult to see how bad things really are until you lurch into a better situation by accident. and then it hits you like a truck.

how things shake out with neo depends a lot, i think, on what order they happen. there’s three (or four) like, obvious items on the narrative to-do list for ruby’s breakdown: 1. little helping her figure out what she is, 2. confrontation with neo, and 3. the second encounter with the blacksmith; and possibly 4. a ponderstorm. (if the ponderstorm occurs separately. i think it’s more likely the storm will be the narrative scaffolding for the first three points, bc it’s both more efficient and more compelling to do all of this sort of ‘together’ rather than sequentially.)

the big question is which comes first. i figure the sequencing will be either little -> neo -> blacksmith, with neo interrupting the little conversation and the resultant confrontation/storm leading them ultimately to the blacksmith. OR, blacksmith + little -> neo, with ruby’s crystallizing NEED to change answered immediately by the blacksmith, ruby figuring out at least a rough idea of what ‘laying her burden down’ means to her, and then coming face-to-face with neo at the moment when she’s made a decision but doesn’t yet know how to put it into practice.

it’s not… impossible that she encounters neo first, i wouldn’t be surprised per se if that’s what happens, but it does seem a lot less likely to me, mostly bc ruby is in SUCH rough shape rn. she can’t fight. the bloody rampage theory hinges on the assumption that ruby will just snap out of it if she gets mad enough, but i don’t think that… tracks, really? (especially not when this is postulated as what fixes her. killing ADAM was portrayed as 1. completely, unequivocally morally justified and necessary, and 2. still a profoundly upsetting experience for both of them but especially for blake. and y’all think ruby going berserk and brutally killing or maiming neo in a blind rage would be IN ANY WAY treated as constructive or healing? what show are you watching?)

so if she does encounter neo first, i think there will have to be some sort of complication to swerve the confrontation away from being a serious physical altercation. bc if it’s a physical altercation and ruby hasn’t gotten the chance to at least begin working through this stuff, she either runs away or neo kills her.

i think the most plausible options for what the complication might be are 1. a ponderstorm hits them and they’re put into a space where violent engagement flat out isn’t possible, or else 2. ruby reacts in a way that is so wildly at odds with neo’s revenge fantasy that neo’s violent intention stalls out. bc like one of the really interesting things about neo as an antagonist is she’s both single-minded but also very fickle. her desire for vengeance initially focused on cinder, and cinder redirected it toward ruby with remarkable ease. she’s committed but lacks any real conviction. so i think ruby might be able to deflect her, at least temporarily, just by not following the script.

but i do think it’s more likely that neo will happen after ruby has, like, at least had a moment to catch her breath and really feel the enormity of what she just did. for “i don’t want to be a huntress anymore.“ to crystallize as a conscious thought and desire that she can acknowledge. if only bc it allows for this progression from “i’m NOT a huntress.” to “…so then what am i?” to coming face-to-face with neo and choosing deliberately to deal with her not like a huntress. neo potentially is kind of ruby’s answer to herself, to this question of “what are you going to become?” that has to follow after “i’m done being a huntress.”