#I can't believe I haven't read this book before it's so TRUE AND GOOD AND HORRIBLE AND BEAUTIFUL

[drumlincountry]

A fun fact about Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler is that it is set in July 2024

[they-didnt-last]

anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??

[gorgeouslypink]

Why They Entered the Void and You Haven't

One of the most popular things that I hear from my anons is complaints about how other people are able to enter the void so easily whereas the anon has been trying so hard and struggling forever. This was something that frustrated me a lot during my void journey too. I would log onto tumblr and everyday people who had just found out about the void state would meditate for 5 minutes and enter or just set an intention to wake up in and wake up in the void state and get to live their dream life. Something that really frustrated me was subliminals. Subliminal comment sections would be flooded with people who listened once or twice and entered whereas I would consistently listen for weeks and not get any tangible results. Even on my page, I always talk about compatibility but why are some people compatible with certain methods and others aren't, especially when you want to enter a certain way that so many people have entered but can't. It's super annoying and frustrating which sparks questions: why is it so easy for some people and not for others? why did they enter and you haven't?

The answer is very easy: the law of assumption!

I genuinely don't care if your a states girly or affirm and persist girl or a SATS girl or a subliminals girl or whatever else, all of these methods come back and tie into the main principal behind loa: Whatever you assume is true is the truth. Your assumptions harden into fact and become your reality. This is the basis of the law and it dictates our lives and it is the ideology behind all the methods as well. And this is why some people enter the void easily or with a certain methods while others struggle for months. We are all Gods but the difference between all of us is our assumptions and our assumptions are what leads to our compatibilities and our experiences during our void state journey.

This is why my favorite void tumblr era was the self concept/void concept era. Tumblr was overflowing with success stories for one simple reason; people weren't struggling over methods, they went straight to the root problem which was their void concept and once they fixed that, their 3d had no choice but to obey.

This is why I hate when people start complaining about methods or how challenges don't work or about bloggers. The problem will never be something external, the problem has always been you and your void concept.

You don't believe in loa. Kinda weird how you believe in the void state but not loa but just keep trying different methods and hopefully you find one compatible with you and your assumptions right now. Good luck! But if you understand what I'm saying, then there are 2 ways that we can go about this:

1. Fix your void concept. Choose whatever method you want. All of them work. States works, Intention works, Affirm and Persist works, Subliminals work, SATS works (personally my own recommendation), all the methods work. I highly recommend reading some manifestations books and trying to understand the law yourself (my personal recommendation is At Your Command by Neville Goddard, just search it up on Google and a free pdf pop ups). Understand the law and you will realize how imperative it is for life in general and the way you interpret the law will show you which method to pursue. Edward Art started off reading Neville and he interpreted the law into the practice of states which has been helping many people. I read a few of Neville's books and how I interpreted it lead me to SATS. Maya (@charmedreincarnation) who I think is one of the best bloggers on here for loa intepreted the law and uses intention. Do your own reading and see how you interpret it. Once you change your assumptions and fix your void concept, you are guaranteed to enter the void. It doesn't matter if you want to wake up in it or use yoga nidra, you will enter because that's how your assumptions will be.

2. The second way was the method I shared before my hiatus, but I think Maya's directions for it are more clearer so make sure to read this. Basically, in this method is just the intention method but on crack. The specific steps puts you in the ideal place where your intention will manifest do if you just intend to wake up in the void state, it will. You are using the law to use your advantage but are bypassing the things that hinder manifestations from being instant. Here are two success stories using this method: one and two.

I recommend combining both these ways and just entering tonight. For whatever reason, you can't do the second way, I don't want to hear any complaining. You know the problem is you. Use the first way, fix your void concept, and enter the void state. If you ask me, Im always going to be recommending SATS but just read Neville's books on your own and see what speaks to you. I also really recommend watching this wizardliz video for motivation.

I believe in you guys and I can't wait to see all the success stories.

[galedekkarios]

i know that gale isn't a virgin (booooooo 🙄👎), but when you pair the fact that astarion likes inexperienced partners + his "i want to wake up beside a handsome virgin every morning, but life doesn't give us what we want" quote with gale saying that tav is the first he's been with since mystra + the fact that he can't do anything with tav at all pre-elminster bc he's likely to literally blow up (this too can be a nod to premature ejaculation or twisted to fit the bill; the dude isolated himself in a tower for a year and had no friends ffs) + his general flustered reactions when it isn't something he's pre-planned to perfection + how he's always assuring people that he does fuck btw the sexless rumors are NOT true he had sex with a god in case you forgot!!! and other people before that for sure!!! gale of waterdeep, number 1 sex haver alert!!!! please believe him!!!

...... i mean. gale could still fit the inexperienced bill at that point, i think, if you just believe. not really, but kind of really. a little bit. in his own touch-starved, out of practice, i haven't done this in a while and most of what i did do and am most comfortable with was in the weave or read in books aka not in the flesh way. with all of his sweet awkward secret eager open-minded freak with a danger kink rizzard charm.

so, like. surely that must be good enough to at least partially indulge astarion's virginity kink, yes?

[genericpuff]

The Mishandling of LO’s S3 Mi(n)season Hiatus - Part 3 2/2

ALRIGHT. THIS IS THE LAST PART. I MEAN IT THIS TIME.

I had completely forgotten how long the mi(n)season finale for S3 was, but I suppose it makes sense considering it was operating as the true cliffhanger before the 4 month break.

If you haven't read the first 3 parts of this episodic breakdown, please go check these ones out first:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3 1/2

Alright, let's get this show on the road!

CAUTION: THIS IS PART 2 OF THE THIRD PART OF A 3 + 1 PART SERIES IN WHICH I WILL BE SPOILING MUCH OF EPISODES 251-253. THIS EPISODE CONTAINS TOPICS SURROUNDING SEXUAL ASSAULT. THIS WILL BE A LONG POST. BRACE YOURSELF.

We've gotten delusional Leuce. We've gotten erasure of the SA. We've gotten a complete bastardization of the original myths that this story got its claim to fame on. The dread has set in, and all I want to do is get off Mr Bones' Wild Ride. But we have one more stretch of mind-numbing track to go, because the reveal of Persephone starting winter was not the end, oh no. The true cliffhanger of this episode - upon which the fans and critics alike have sat on for 4 months - proves that when we think Rachel has gotten crazy enough in this circus she calls a "retelling", she manages to prove that yes, she can make things even crazier, and no, you will not have a good time.

Ironically, despite that opening, I actually have a lot less to say about this last part of Episode 253 than I did about the first part. Obviously there's no feasible way to top "Persephone causes winter", but this episode does come rather close in its absurdity. Ultimately, if these essays have proven anything, it's just how much Rachel retcons things, to such an extent now that she seems to be retconning or outright forgetting information that she established just a handful of episodes prior. You'll see what I mean here as we go along in this.

As soon as it's hinted at that Persephone has started winter, we cut away to Apollo. Because, as per LO tradition, we can't spend longer than 10-15 panels on a single scene.

Already this seems like... really odd framing.

This is Apollo. A character who has been a villain since basically the beginning of the comic, when he sexually assaulted Persephone. This is not something that's up for debate. This is not something that can be refuted, as much as the comic may try to erase it or twist it into something else.

And yet, the vibe I get from this is, "Misled but good-deep-down character being taken advantage of by a sinister being." This isn't the type of framing we should be seeing around a character like Apollo.

I mentioned it ages ago in my post about the SA erasure that it really feels like Rachel is slyly trying to make Apollo empathetic, from giving us an entire episode in his perspective to adding extra panels into the books to making Persephone weirdly reminiscent of feelings for Apollo that she never had.

One thing I also touch on in that post is how Apollo is framed against Zeus. Zeus is also a villain character for much of the series, and even after he's "redeemed", the fanbase still considers him largely to be an antagonistic force. So to have Apollo be trying to take down Zeus comes across as very "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" and I really don't like seeing that framing when it's regarding a rapist.

And this scene largely feels the same. It feels like Rachel's trying to sway the audience into believing Apollo is like Draco Malfoy - a misled boy who "didn't know any better" and was being manipulated by a greater evil. If you haven't guessed by now, that "greater evil" is Ouranos.

Why is it Ouranos? In my opinion (so take this with grains of salt) this is because they need to somehow "one up" Kronos and give Persephone and Hades a tangible force to fight against, to draw a clean line in the sand between "good" and "evil" so that we, the audience, will be forced to categorize Persephone and Hades as "good" and someone else as "evil".

But really, why Ouranos? We're told that he manipulated Gaia to use her powers in an attempt to create "hierarchy" (whatever the FUCK that means, I don't think Rachel really understands how societal hierarchies are created) but there's NOTHING to imply that he was tyrannical or "evil" in the same way that Kronos has been depicted. Rachel's basically submitting this whole plotline to "well it's in the prophecy" but there was NOTHING dictating that she had to try and write a "prophecy" storyline to begin with. So as a result, it feels very tacked on and it's hard to tell what the point is, it really just seems like Rachel watched too much Marvel one week and decided that Lore Olympus - a fantasy romance - needed a big bad.

And by extension it feels like Apollo is being used as a pawn in this dynamic. By making him subservient to an "evil" force, it means he can labelled as definitively "evil", and thus it gives Rachel a vehicle to have Apollo taken down - or even perhaps empathized with much like in the Draco Malfoy sense - without having to touch the SA plot that she set up and never resolved.

He was evil before, but he wasn't the kind of evil that Rachel could write around. Because she doesn't know how to write SA or give her female characters any sense of retribution or agency. We've seen that already with her robbing Demeter of winter and Persephone of her feelings regarding the SA. There was never going to be a chance in hell she was going to be able to write herself out of a plotline she's been procrastinating for 4+ years.

That said, this is just a vibe I get, so I'm not gonna speak on it much more. This is one of those "we're really not gonna know until the comic returns" situations.

Once again, Rachel's trying to make Apollo seem like a "master manipulator", but she's also trying to make him seem like he's the one being manipulated, but she's ALSO trying to write him as a big dumb idiot who literally can't grasp consent. Apollo has to be one of the most inconsistently written characters in the entire comic, and yes, that includes Persephone. Again, it just goes to show she hasn't been able to fully commit to the SA plotline because Apollo's motivations and intelligence levels change with each passing episode. Sometimes he's being nefarious and plotting to overthrow the King, other times he's literally asking a nymph if she'd be willing to cut her hair to look like Persephone. The comic can't choose and so we, the audience, can't tell why Apollo is even still here.

Again, this is SUCH bizarre framing. If we're to believe that Persephone has been "cursed" by no longer being able to create Spring, only Winter, then does that make Ouranos and Apollo the heroes here? Because Ouranos is right, if Persephone is causing winter, that's going to kill the mortals, which is the complete OPPOSITE of what she's trying to do. So what are we left with? A plotline where Apollo and Ouranos might actually have a point about how she rushed into a marriage with the King of the Underworld and sacrificed everything that gave her agency and power - both metaphorically and literally - in the process?

Again, this is why Rachel fundamentally misunderstands the original purpose of The Hymn to Demeter and how she's, by and large, made her retelling worse in an attempt to be "subversive". It puts the plot and character motivations in a place where it's hard to tell what the story is trying to say, I can understand if maybe Rachel's trying to write a conflict where Apollo uses this information to manipulate her, but it doesn't help that knowing EVERYTHING we know about the H x P relationship within the context of this comic, Ouranos has a point that Persephone's union with the King of the Dead is problematic. It might not be the same "problematic" that we're all thinking of, but it really just reinforces the criticisms of this relationship. Is the comic really asking us to say "fuck the human race, they're in love" ??? Because that's NOT what the point of the original myth was in the slightest and it's just a really weird place to put your audience in.

It's 4:45 AM right now as I'm typing this so my thoughts are a little scattered, but all this really feels like is an attempt on Rachel's part to create a new "big bad" for her to use as a distraction from the SA plot and to give Persephone a "flaw", but that "flaw" really only takes away the strength of another character.

Oh, and by the way? This whole "you need the fertility goddess" thing? THE COMIC HAS ALREADY TOLD US THIS WON'T WORK BECAUSE SHE HAS TO BE IN LOVE WITH APOLLO FOR HIM TO BE ABLE TO USE HER POWERS. SO RACHEL'S ALREADY WRITTEN HERSELF INTO A CORNER THAT SHE'LL EITHER HAVE TO SOLVE OR RETCON ENTIRELY. DO YOU SEE WHY THIS IS SO ABSURD???

This line is kind of jarring because we had the Kassandra prophecy at the beginning that talked about the herb, but the prophecy Ouranos is talking about is the one about the sons of kings overthrowing their fathers. I definitely forgot about that one for a hot second reading this, I didn't get how this sequence related to the poisonous plant thing because they're framed as completely separate prophecies. It's not like Kassandra said in her initial prophecy that this plant would be used to overthrow a King again, she just said that the plant still existed and Psyche figured it out on her own that Apollo was gonna use it on Zeus. IDK that's just something that bugged me (also again, why are they believing her prophecies when we literally just had it established an episode ago that no one believes her prophecies LMAO)

Because if it wasn't enough for LO to have one Evil Robot Jeff Bridges villain, it had to throw in another one for good measure. It's just a line of dads and grandpas going back centuries waiting for their turn in the ring with Persephone.

lmao I love this 'hint' at Apollo being the one to write the note from Hebe and leave the cupcake for Zeus. Like... duh? We already put that together as SOON as Psyche said gasp "Zeus!" and then it showed Zeus eating the cupcake while Psyche called him on the phone telling him Apollo was gonna try and harm him. This sequence of 'revealing what really happened' doesn't work here because we've already been told what happened.

Except we know he won't. There's no tension to this whatsoever.

That's Hebe by the way.

It's odd that Apollo is embracing this prophecy when he has a kid himself. He literally has a fully grown son in this comic. I guess Apollo forgot about that, just like Rachel.

And that's it. That's the midseason finale. Ouranos is the new twist villain and Apollo is... whatever the fuck Rachel plans on doing with him.

Now, this leads me to my original motivation to create this series of reviews. It spawned from a conversation we were having in the Discord, discussing what it must be like to be a free reader who hasn't paid for the FP episodes that are still behind a paywall. This is not standard for LO, it hasn't kept FP episodes behind paywalls in the past during long hiatuses like this. I can even prove this with screenshots from the Wayback Machine, during the last midseason hiatus:

(whoof, that rating has dropped. I know it doesn't seem like much but for a series with millions of readers, by law of averages it takes a LOT of poor ratings to pull that number down compared to a series that only has a few readers)

Point is, this is the first time Rachel/WT have done this. Now, I will make this perfectly clear, I don't think this was a decision that was purely on Rachel. WT controls much of the backend like paywall costs, release dates, etc. so I'm not gonna go pinning this on her.

However, I do think this is a completely bungled attempt at trying to get people to pay up. LO has been dropping in views steadily but surely since the midseason break for S2. It's not pulling in the peak numbers that it used to, while it does still pull in a lot more views and money than other series on the platform, it's nowhere near the juggernaut that it once was in terms of record-breaking numbers, and I think WT knows that. So this really comes across as a stunt to get readers to FP, assuming that people will HAVE to pay if they're left waiting for 4 months.

But here's the flaw in that logic - people are still going to have to wait 4 months anyways. Reading those 3 locked episodes, especially all at once, will still leave you in the same place as you were beforehand.

And it shows in the numbers that people aren't falling for the bait.

Again, 17k likes still isn't anything to sneeze at for a FP episode, but it's still just barely above the new average that LO has gained over the past two years. I remember a time when those like counts would be 30k+. And now, despite being on break 4 months with these episodes still locked behind a wall, it's barely able to scrap by its new average of roughly 14-15k, and that average is when episodes are actually updating.

Obviously like counts = / = viewcounts but when they fluctuate, we know that the views have to be as well by extension, at least to some extent, and that's still engagement that's dropped of in and of itself. And we can also see a rough look at how the views have dropped off through the comic's landing page. Now, it's hard to compare data because there was a time when WT actually didn't give follower/view counts on the landing page (this was also when the like count capped at 99k) but we can still see a downslide in growth very visibly in the view count, sub count, and most of all, the rating, which has been steadily dropping for years now.

August 2020:

May 2021:

November 2021:

March 2022 (don't get confused by the 995 million, this is where view count comes in):

September 2022:

March 2023:

Today (October 24th, 2023):

Again, there's no way to get a true clear picture of LO's stats beyond this surface level data, but it does show that LO is just not getting the rapid growth it used to. People are moving on from it. And while its view and sub count are steadily increasing (albeit slowly for a webtoon that gets as much marketing as it does) the average rating is going down. It's clear that the majority of LO's growth happened between 2018 and 2020, which would make sense as the series was still relatively new compared to how it's become old news today, and Webtoons experienced a boom in 2020 due to the COVID-19 lockdowns - a boom that they think still applies in the year 2023, judging by their attempts to import as many series onto the platform as possible and capitalize on an audience that just isn't there anymore.

All of this leads me to wonder - what's in it for free readers after all this? Because if you recall from where we started, the cliffhanger they started on was Hades - possessed by Kronos - attempting to strangle Persephone, a cliffhanger that was resolved within seconds for FastPass readers. If they don't FastPass after that, they'll be met with numerous reveals that don't even make sense for the plot as a whole (such as Leuce making up the text messages).

Again, I don't want to claim that this was a decision on Rachel's part, but it really seems like either she didn't plan this hiatus, or her inability to write naturally without the need for addictive-style formatting as a crutch made it so that the free readers would be given the worst midseason premiere ever.

And what are we, the FastPass readers, going to return to? There are still so many plot threads that have been left unresolved, multiple villains being setup, and as far as Webtoons and Rachel have revealed during NYCC, LO is supposed to end by the spring. That's 20-30 weeks TOPS, which isn't exactly a whole lot of wiggle room for a writer like Rachel who's chronically bad at pacing and getting to the point of the plots she's established.

I know there are so many readers right now anticipating the return of this comic, some of whom genuinely believe this comic is "better than ever" and others who are critical of it but hope that the comic will come back in a better state after the hiatus. But right now there's so much evidence to support the contrary - that LO is about to come back in as bad, if not worse, condition than it was in when it left.

And through all this, for a comic that's finally ending after 5 years, I have to ask - where is the hype? Why are Webtoons and Rachel keeping the finale of this comic behind closed doors? Where's the promotional art, the hinting at what's to come, the attempts to generate any semblance of excitement for the readers who are still left after clinging onto this ride for 5 years? Why were the fans themselves barred out of their own communities during the majority of the hiatus?

And that just leads me to an even more discouraging thought. This is not meant to accuse Rachel or make assumptions. It's simply a thought that I had while thinking about what the series could possibly pull upon its return, so please, take this with MOUNTAINS of salt. It's one thing I hadn't considered with the knowledge that LO will be returning with 3 episodes still behind a paywall, a 'buffer' in and of itself for Rachel to work off of.

Rachel only technically needs one episode ready for the release. Not three as she normally would if the episodes had been unlocked like in previous hiatuses. That's not including whatever buffer episodes she would need beyond the upload schedule, but she's proven to be chronically bad at maintaining a buffer as well since day one.

We haven't seen any promotional art. No hinting. No hyping beyond what's been seen for her "Rachel Smythe Presents" series.

With all that in mind, I have one question to leave this on:

Has Rachel even started working on Episode 254 yet?

[kurosstuff]

Hello, how are you doing? :)

Since requesrts are open and your writing is marvelous, I wanted to request an Azula x gn reader oneshot/fic where reader is a childhood friend who grew distant to Azula over time, but is now chosen to be her fiancé in an arranged marriage.

You don't have to write it, but I still hope you likr the idea!

Have a great day ^^

Hi! I'm doing better at least! Thank you so much♡ It means so much to me to hear you like my writing!

I'd like to apologize for not writing this sooner- was taking a break with long fics- and idk how accurate azula is still- haven't watched fhe show in so long-! Also hope I got Ozai ok? Never wrote anything with him in it before I don't think

-

I got carried away♡.. this came out as more of a reconnection type thing? Eh- maybe that's good?

Summary: read ask♡

Warnings(?): azula being azula, reader freaks out/panics alot, ozai, soft(?) Azula(she's like kinda nice sometimes); slight angst. Misunderstanding(but not really), friends to strangers to lovers(?), both reader AND azula are oblivious on how they really feel,

Azula x G/N reader: arranged

Being azulas friend had its ups and downs

Mostly downs

"Oh, come on, Y/N. Don't such a kid, " Azula grumbled, trying to get you to stay still. She read a trick where if someone still stays, a firebender can hit the target above the person's head without any injury. In a book for children for whatever reason. "I'd never hurt you," which is partly true - Azula wouldn't hurt you on purpose, or she would - you weren't actually sure

But like time- friendships come and go.

As you grew older, you saw how awful of a person Azula was turning out to be. How cruel of a person she truly was - how little care she had for another being - even her own brother. Seeing how she was amused and not concerned for her brother during the Agni Kai- you decided enough was enough.

This 'friendship' was becoming too dangerous too frightening. You were aware you can't just up and end the friendship you decided to distance yourself from her. Feeling confident, she wouldn't notice the change

-

You weren't sure if she ever noticed- if by chance she did. She never said or gave the indication she knew. After a couple of months, you stopped coming around to hang out.

You felt bad, but you believed this was for the best.

It's been almost a three full year when you received the letter. One you'd overlook if it weren't for the very specific golden charm closing the envelope showing it was from the royal family. Usually, being given this letter is either an honor or.. something much worse. Swallowing down your nerves, you sat down staring at the envelope for almost an eternity. Opening it carefully, you begain to read.

Everything seemed normal in the letter besides the fact you are to be summoned to the Fire Lord himself for something. Totally normal. Not like your gonna die or anything. Be shipped off to war maybe? You'd 100% are not worried.

Nope.

-

Rushing to get ready, you practically jumped in the air in Fright when you heard the knocking on the door. Your nerves were shot, and this whole thing was just making it worse.

You almost hoped to not see her there. But that'd be impossible since she lived there. Opening the door two guards stood infront of you looking at you sternly.

"Are you Y/N?" Nodding your head yes- you didn't trust your voice at the moment. They turned and gestured to follow "come. We will escort you to the Palace"

-

You don't remember anything on the way there - it was all a blur - you blame it on your nerves, but it did help distract from the imitating Palace. Until you got there. The two guards stepped out and opened the door for you - following them the huge door to the Palace opened slowly with a creek. You took a deep breath and stepped in- turning you watched as the doors closed, sealing your fate. Locking you in - A sound of someone clearing their throat caught your attention

"This way," following closely, you dared not speak, not trusting your voice - and for the fact your throat was so dry a word couldn't get out when if you wished it.

Being led by two fully armed guards was almost as unnerving as the lack of decorations in the halls leading to the Fire Lords office. It was devoid of anything to show the human side of him - if there was any. The only lights shown were from flames - obviously, one's from the Fire Lord himself probably made. The only sounds you could hear was the sound of your heart beating harshly in your ears and the metal taps of the swords on the guards.

Stopping in front of huge double doors, they turned to you unblinking. "He's inside." Was all they said before they opened the doors for you. Once you stepped in they shut loudly the candles blowing out closest to you leaving you alone in the dark- minus the glow of flamed down the hall. Clenching your hands you took a deep breath and tried to relax-

The closer you got to the flames- the more the urge to run as far as you could got worse- alarm bells ringing in your head at the thought of this all going wrong. Something practically 100% possible. Even on his good days, he would be cruel. Stopping in front of the flame wall blocking you from the full view of the man himself - Fire Lord Ozai. His face covered in the shadows from how he sat, but the flames didn't hide how terrifyingly huge he looked - bowing in respect you were about to great him- before he put his hand up to stop you

"Do you know why I asked you here?"

It took you a moment to gain the courage to respond - surprisingly, he allowed you the moment - as if he thought you actually knew the reason. "No, Fire Lord Ozai. I do not. " A deep hum was all you got in return - fabric moved, glancing up, you gulped.

He stood up.

Walking towards you, the flames moved, almost glinding out of his way like a door - he stood before you. Moving his hand in a gesture, you understood to stand straight up , your eyes cast away in respectfear. Walking around you in a circle.

Like a predator hunting his prey. He stood in front of you again after a moment. "Yes. You are perfect." The odd complaint from him did nothing to ease you - seeing your confusion, he hummed."There's an arrangement. Obviously, your Father never told you." The look you held did nothing to stop him,"the arrangement was. His firstborn was to marry my firstborn." The words he spoke caused a mixed sense of emotions in you- confusion, anxiousness. And fear from what was your next thought.

His firstborn was banished.

"But. Giving the events that unfolded with my firstborn. The agreement changed a bit. You will marry my second born."

Clicks of footsteps echoed behind you. You didn't dare look behind you.

"You are to marry my daughter- Azula. Whom I was made aware you were friends of sorts." Turning away, he walked back to his throne. "You will be Wed in two months."

Behind you, someone cleared their throat, turning around, and froze. Azula stood arms crossed, staring at you - almost glaring from how narrowed her eyes were. The same smug smirk from years ago is still present. She almost didn't seem to change much but all the more terrifying. Even if deep down you were happy to see her

"Well. Hello Y/N, " she spoke, voice coming out in a condescending purr. "It seems like we have some catching up to do." Turning, she gestured you to follow her

-

You followed Azula to her room. You've been in it once before, but that was years ago. Before you felt comfortable - now you felt uneasy - tense about the whole thing. Standing far away from the bed but close enough, you looked around the room - it looks the same as it did, but with some added things such as plants and a new dresser replacing the old silver one she used to own.

Azula sat on her bed, pulling some books out to go through every once in a while, looking up at you - face unreadable. Shows how much has changed before you could tell what she was thinking even if she wouldn't show it - now it's like she's a new person - and in a way, she is.

"What's the matter with you?" Azula asked(more like demanded), looking over at her- Azula seemingly growing frustrated at the books in her hands- what about you weren't sure. Turning towards you with eyebrow raised an annoyed look on her face. You haven't answered her yet

"Oh- uh, nothing. Why?" Humming she placed the book down on her lap- gesturing towards the bed. Getting the message you sat down on the edge. She sat silent for a moment before sighing.

"Look." She started after a while. She took a second to think her response through - it was an odd sight. Azula glanced at you- raising an eyebrow at the unnerved state you were in. Standing up, she walked to her counter. "I get it. The situation we're in is weird. " Pulling some object out, she turned to face you. Handing it to you. It looked like a squishy turtle duck

Seeing the confusion on your face when you took it, she sighed, facing away from you once the look of realization hit you. "You always needed something to hold to calm down when you got like this." She spoke, sitting down beside you. Turning it around the squish toy was the same one you were given- and forgot about years ago. When you and Azula were close. The same accidental burn mark on the shell of the toy. You still remember how she gave it too you

-

Sitting on the bench, you held your hurt, burning hand crying. Clutching them close - you knew you shouldn't have let Azula talk you into doing such a trick.

A dangerous trick - yet she did. And here you sat hurt.

And alone.

Hurried footsteps came from behind you - you knew those footsteps. Sitting upright, you used your uninjured hand to whip the tears away harshly. You didn't want to give Azula another reason to tease you.

"There you are" she spoke. Sitting next to you she held something behind her. Face slightly flushed from either embarrassment or what you didn't know- nor gave it much thought once a toy was shoved in your face "here- I. I heard from the towns people that a thing called a 'squishy' helps calm people down. Brings comfort or whatever. So take it. It's yours" Holding it in your hand you smiled tearfully. Azula looked like she practically softened before she turned to your hand- huffing she gestured for it

"we need to clean this."

-

The memory brought a happy smile to your face. Looking up, you saw the quick look of relief on Azulas face before it hardened. "..you kept it?" A shrug was all you got in response for a moment

"Of course I did." Azula mumbled before clearing her throat, brushing you off without a word. Turning away from you - Azula was silent as you messed with the squishy in your hand. Turning towards you, she opened her mouth before shutting it. This caused to pause - Azula never hesitates, nor does she stop until she gets what she wants. Somethings wrong

Before you could ask, a knock came at the door. After giving permission, a maid came in bowing, "My lady, your training room is ready for you." A wave of her hand and the maid ran off hurriedly down the hall.

"You're coming with me." Azula spoke standing. She walked to the door, glancing back at you - an eyebrow arched. Obviously she was waiting for you to follow. Trying to swallow your nerves you jumped up putting the squish on the bed before turning to follow Azula.

The walk was quiet

-

Entering the training room a couple test dummies stood around the room. Arms stretched out like you used to see from the target practice dummies you'd come acrossed before.

"Sit there- I'll be back" Azula pointed towards some benches a bit far off- you sighed- it's better to just let her do what she says half the time anyways.

After you sat on the bench, Azula moved to the changing room. Her mind jumbled. Scattered around, and she couldn't think of a good reason as to why. Pacing back and forth, she clenched her jaw angrily

Azula was panicking on the inside - ever since she found out it was you, she was to marry. Even worse when she saw you. Would she be a horrible wife? Be like her father and treat her spouse horribly to the point of another abandonment? No. She won't be like him. Azula refuses to treat the one she's bound to in such a way - even Azula isn't that cruel of a person. She's not soft - she's not kind either. She knows the reason why you left her even if you didn't say.

It was her fault

Learning the first choice of who you were originally gonna be married to didn't help her feel good at all. Did you know you were gonna marry her brother? That you left cause of that? The selfish, selfish side of Azula prayed that was the real reason you left. She knows it's not, but it's just easier to think

She wants to prove that she's the best choice - the only choice. Of course, the arranged part of the marriage didn't make her feel happy made her feel horrible. If you were to marry her, she'd want it to be of your free will - not be forced.

Azula stopped pacing. What? Why is that the thing she's focused on. Blinking she crossed her arms. Of course the thought of someone being forced to marry her set an uneasy feeling inside her, but. The thought of marrying you wasn't bad at all-

Why is that? It makes no sense why Azula was and still is hung up on a loss of a friend. The loss of you since the beginning was horrible. It made her sick- she'd admit it only to herself now that she missed you- but.. why does she feel relief from the thought of marrying you? Was it cause she knew you?

Shaking her head she quickly got dressed

-

Fiddling with your thumbs, you glanced around the room - thankfully, in a more relaxed mood. Your heart no longer felt like leaping out of your chest. The whole area was spotless- which wasn't a surpise given how certain people would react to a messy training hall. You shuddered at the memory.

Looking over when the door opened, your face flushed a bit. Azula was already looking your way when she came out. Without a word, she stepped up and moved the dummies a bit before she begins she started to stretch. Standing straight she smirked back at you.

"Keep those eyes on me," she begain her training. Hitting the dummies far back with a punch in the air- blue flames came out in a flicker illuminating her air and passing some of the training dummies closest- but surprisingly never touching them. Only hitting her target

It wasn't much of a surpise on how good of a fighter Azula was- but you can't help but you can't help but still be surprised at how well she can control her flames. You've seen fire benders fight and train before, this wasn't the first- but it was the first seeing just how different she was to the others. If anyone else tried this. Tried to hit the target from the farthest to the front. 100% the flames passing the others would be hit and burned, but for Azula- it was like it never touched.

The more she hit and kicked, the more in awe you were in watching. If anything, it looked like a dance you'd see from how fluent and confident Azula moved to attack.

As quick as she began, the training ended. Azula walked towards you, and she didn't even break a sweat- even her hair was kept in place even though she was hitting and kicking. Standing infront of you she crossed her arms almost smirking. "Well?" She spoke with an eyebrow raised

"You were perfect! How did you even do that?"

"I'm a natural. No trouble at all" Azula spoke smugly- she wasn't gonna tell you how long it took for her to get the attack right when she was younger. Everything needs to be perfect. Azula hummed, interrupting your praise for a moment. "..We added more flowers to the garden. I'll show you" she spoke almost oddly. The praise you gave her felt weird- but it filled her ego. Of course it was perfect.

This was Azula

Nothing less than perfect no matter what.

She turned to leave to redress ignoring your call.

"We'll go once I come back"

-

The garden wasn't totally different from how it was since the last time you saw it. The tree in the middle has grown much older but still hanging strong - a knew bench was placed near it, giving the tree and pond underneath. The sun hitting perfectly in-between the leafs and from the rocks below made it have almost a glow to it.

Looking around, the bushes nearby were cut in the specific square way the Fire Lord himself seemed to prefer rather than the rounded ones. Stopping once you heard quaking noises. A smile came over your face, walking to the center pond. You knelt down, looking at the turtle ducks

"Here. You can feed them if you'd like" Azula spoke, holding a small bag of bread out. Thanking her you took it and started to break them up. Azula watched her eyes softening at the sight.

Azula couldn't put her finger on what was wrong with her. Was it her nerves? Why does this scene in front of her make her feel off? The way you're kneeling in front of the turtle ducks the way you gently fed them. The way the lowering sub hits your face. Blinking, she scowled, looking away from you. Looking out to the pond on the other side

"Do you want to feed one, Azula?" Not getting a response, you looked over, frowning at what you saw.

Azula looked almost troubled by something. "Azula?" Calling out to her gave no help. It was like she was here but not here at the moment. Calling out to her again in a softer tone to not startle her- she blinked at you slowly before registering where she was. Standing up, you watched her closely

"Azula. Are you ok?"

Azula just nodded slowly. A moment passes before she bits her tongue. A question on the tip of her tongue. She doesn't want to ask. But she has to. She needs to if she really wants to not be like her father. Not in this way at least

"Are we still friends?" Azula asked before she could stop. "Like I know this is an arrangement but. Are we?"

You didn't responded right away. Just stood there thinking. The way she looked at you- you couldn't tell what she was thinking. It was like looking at a new person. Slowly nodding your head "yes we are." You bit your lip in thought "can we have a do over? From how things ended-" it was a selfish thing to ask. To pretend you didn't just disappear from her life.

Azula nodded her head

"Then.. we can start over?" You said, looking away from Azula for a moment - turning back to look at her - her gaze was on the pond in front of you both.

"Don't see why not. We're not getting married for a couple of months, so we have time"

[darkbluekies]

i wanna start writing so bad but idk where to start do u have any tips??

Okay, so this is more of a general in depth guide for a little of everything, if you don't find anything useful in this please let me know and I will try again <3 This is more for lenghty novels (which are my main writing thing) than tumblr posts, but i think that some things here could be used for tumblr too so i'm just spewing every kind of advice i have

Before writing

If you don't have an existing idea, watching movies, series and even music videos can help bring out ideas. Watch some that you like and maybe write down some moments you liked. You can always take inspiration from existing things as long as you make it your own and not copy them.

Everyone says "read more" to develop your vocabulary and I didn't really believe it, but i notice how I feel more confident in my writing after reading someone elses work. It helps you with seeing scenes from other perspective thanks to how someone else would describe a scene. I also created a document where i write down phrases and words that I'd like to remember and use for myself when I can't come up with my own words. It can look like this!

I have always had an easy time for creating stories with a red thread,. But if you need a little help planning out your story, where things should go and when to add what, models like 'Save the cat' could be beneficial. My advice, though, is to not follow it blindly because it can result in a mass procuced feeling since it can become predictable! But I feel that it can be good to have the story somewhat planned out from the start. You don't need to know everything, but just having an overlook where you want to take it is a good thing.

When it comes to characters, try to make them have different characteristics and don't be afriad to give them traits that makes them bad. There are multiple things I don't agree with when it comes to my characters views, actions or reactions, but it makes them human and that's the best thing you can do for your characters, to make them human, real, believable.

Pinterest boards are fun and easy to keep track of the vibe of your story. It helps you save pictures of characters, their clothes, their houses, everything. I have one for every of my books, here are some ideas!

Writing

My biggest advice (that i honestly should take too) is that your first version of something NEVER has to be good. Hell, you don't even have to like it, just get it done so that you have something to go off of when you remake it! You should have fun when you write. Sounds cheesy, but it's very true. If you feel that the story is draining you more than exciting you, leave it. You might come back to it in the future, but for now it's better to leave it and start over!

I have heard a tip that I haven't tried, but when I think about it, it makes sense. Someone suggested to take a book and copy it, word for word, into a document for yourself. That way, you learn to write sentences and build a story. Haven't tried it, but maybe worth giving it a shot? :)

Synonyms are your best friend!! Don't repeat yourself too much. And, instead of saying for example "she walks very slowly, not wanting to reach the meeting" you could say "she forced her legs to move despite the heavy feeling in her chest", because it makes the reader's brain puzzle together what the character is thinking!

I'll round it off before I start to spiral lol. I hope that this was somewhat helpful. I'm rarely asked about these kinds of things so when I am it all flows out without structure! :,)<3

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

What's BANDits? I've heard the term before but idk what it is

BANDit stands for "Birds Are Not Dinosaurs" - its. IE, its the term for the group of "scientists" that have continued to insist birds did not evolve from dinosauria despite literally boatloads of evidence to the contrary.

You see, we haven't always known birds are dinosaurs. When we were first thinking about evolution (in the Western World, remember: lots of colonized people had ideas about evolution *and* paleontology that White People essentially wiped out when we colonized them), a lot of people pointed out the similarities between many of the dinosaurs being found and living birds. MANY. It was common knowledge in the 1800s among scientists.

But then along came this guy Dollo. Dollo didn't like the idea birds evolved from dinosaurs. See, he found wishbones in birds. He found wishbones in some of the triassic weirdos of the past, things that dinosaurs would evolve from. But he didn't find wishbones in dinosaurs. And Dollo was convinced that a structure couldn't re-evolve if it had been lost during evolution. So, to him, there was no way birds could be dinosaurs.

There were problems with this:

he didn't know about how traits are gained and lost genetically. In fact, he didn't really know about *genetics*. There are lots of ways to re-gain a trait you lost (if you only lost it by turning off its regulatory genes, or you re-evolve it convergently, that kind of thing).

at the time, we had dinosaur wishbones. we just didn't know thats what they were.

since then, we have found waaaaay more dinosaur wishbones. And also, tons of other evidence. so much evidence. at this point, there is literally nothing else birds could be.

it took time to build up that evidence. For the entire first half of the 1900s, and a good chunk of the second, no one believed birds evolved from dinosaurs.

But then we started to find the evidence.

And we found more.

And more.

And more.

By the 80s, it was becoming pretty clear that birds probably evolved from dinosaurs. At this point, documentaries and fictional material are even referencing it. But, there was still a group of skeptics, the first true BANDits (because at this point it was not the majority opinion). And that's okay - skepticism is important in science.

Its the fact that they KEPT being skeptical even as more and more evidence poured in. By the mid-90s, it was incontrovertible, because we had found fossils of feathered but very clearly nonavian dinosaurs. By the 00s, we were finding them CONSTANTLY.

And yet, the BANDits kept BANDiting.

Most of them have died, because they were old and stubborn. Very few new scientists are BANDits. It's really just

A) in russia, because russia has had a... weird history with paleontology. I don't want to get into it

B) those remaining few old people who refuse to change their minds in light of new evidence (this would be Feduccia)

in the 10s, they were really annoying, because enough of them were still around that people thought they were good scientists (they're not), and so if you said "birds are dinosaurs" at least one person would bring up banditry to prove you wrong, and then you had to go on a whole spiel, and it was exhausting

In the late 10s and now 20s, that's pretty much dead. It's just impossible to argue with anymore. I don't know how Feduccia keeps publishing his crappy books, but I really wish that someone would say "I can't publish this" bc people read them and think they're right.

Like, birds are *such* dinosaurs that we don't even know at what point dinosaurs are firmly birds. It's kind of murkey, because nature doesn't do categories.

So, yeah. That's what a BANDit is. They're almost extinct. May they become as such by the 30s.

[rpstartersinc]

* 𝐀 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐄: 𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄.

feel free to change pronouns / wording!

" you are dawdling! "

" i'll show you i'm not a child anymore. "

" you are much faster than i am. "

" this grass will keep you hidden if you stay low. "

" what devilry is this? "

" the forest is out of bounds until further notice. "

" we must have sinned something rotten to be punished so. "

" the smell of your cooking warms the heart. "

" you know you are not supposed to be here. "

" did he talk? "

" i don't have time to play games. "

" think it's funny making me run like that? "

" you'll get nothing out of me! "

" you're going to get us killed! "

" i'm not scared of dying you know. "

" be sure to stay in the light. "

" they ate him! "

" try not to look. "

" we can't do anything for them now. "

" the air... it's burning my throat... "

" they are not going to catch us, alright? "

" you should hide, it's dangerous. "

" when a rat bites you it poisons your blood. "

" maybe there's a monster in it. "

" it's not good to be alone. "

" you're just like all the others! "

" you're no fun. "

" you're lucky i like gold better than blood. "

" the better you look, the higher the ransom. "

" that's war for you. "

" i'm making your rescue profitable. "

" i've had enough of running. "

" he's going to slaughter us! "

" there's nowhere for you to go out there. "

" don't get all lovey-dovey. "

" you trying to impress me or what? "

" don't worry, we're all scared of what's in our heads. "

" try to be a bit more enthusiastic, will you? "

" use your eyes before using your mouth. "

" i would quite like to see a monster, actually. "

" i just don't like water much, that's all. "

" i'm sorry i lied to you. "

" a good remedy is a remedy that stinks. "

" the storm will drown out our voices. "

" you've read too many books. "

" you were having a bad dream... "

" brothers... sometimes you just want to kill them. "

" the first rule of survival is hit 'em between the legs. "

" that sound... you never get used to it. "

" i don't want to hear another peep out of you. "

" you have no idea how i have suffered. "

" i might've got a little carried away. "

" when you enter a place that has been abandoned for a very long time, there's something in the air. "

" i'm here with you. "

" it's like a river... a river of rats. "

" we haven't done all this for nothing. "

" what will be will be. "

" it's as if it was decided that ever since we met our lives have been governed by chaos! "

" none of this seems to be real at all. "

" you're not sleeping? "

" you're going to tell me about rules? "

" a child never runs away without a reason. "

" it is easy to spill blood, but to love, to protect... "

" they didn't hurt you, did they? "

" this is no place for a child. "

" nobody saw me. "

" your rank should make you more cautious. "

" you are a vile heretic driven mad by power. "

" we have the same goal. "

" this guard was devoured... "

" they use our dead to build their nests? "

" you wouldn't like it out there, believe me. "

" for the last time, will you answer my questions? "

" no one will hurt you now. "

" this is not a game. "

" you are a monster! "

" you don't have a home anymore! "

" i'm ready to die, it will even be an honour. "

" the rats will be coming, we need to light the fires. "

" i have to accept that he won't be coming back. "

" you're like a hero from a book or something. "

" i thought you said this place was secure! "

" we got that bastard! "

" you lied to me! "

" you are no longer any use to me. "

" my blade is still warm, as you will soon find out. "

" since you refuse to go to hell, i shall bring hell to you. "

" i'll tear them apart! "

" i wish i was strong like that. "

" you're a tough guy, tougher than i am. "

" i can't take any more of these bloody rats! "

" thank you for your candour. "

" calm down... it's over. "

" you want to try your hand at shooting? "

" we just don't want any trouble here, do you understand? "

" that's not true... but it doesn't matter. "

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Fluffcember Day 12 | All the reasons why I love you

Pairing | Husband!Chris Evans x Wife!Fem!Reader

Word count | 2K

Summary | Today is your wedding day, and Chris recalls some of his most fond memories of you, his wife. From the moment you first met to the moment he first heard your laugh, not a single moment is forgotten by him. It is at that moment that you realize how much he paid attention to all the little things, and why you have fallen for him in the first place all those years ago.

Rating | General (G)

Warning(s) | RPF, Established relationship ~ Husband & Wife, use of nickname ~ Beautiful

A/n | This one-shot is written for day 12 of my Fluffcember 2023 Challenge! I want to dedicate this to @cevansbaby-dove, I truly hope this will make your day just a little brighter in the tough time you're going through right now. I want to give a massive thank you to @ccbsrmsf1 for proofreading this one, it is truly appreciated 🎄

Events Masterlist | ''That's the first time I ever heard you laugh | @buckys-wintersoldier Masterlist | Love at first sight | @ultimatechrisbingo

Banners: @vase-of-lilies | Divider: @firefly-graphics | GIF: Owner

Main Masterlist | Chris Evans Masterlist | Read on AO3

You're seated at the big table, ready for dinner, when your brand new husband, Chris, looks at you and gives you a reassuring smile before standing up and reaching for a microphone.

''Can I have everyone's attention, please? Because I would like to take this moment to tell all of you something about my beautiful partner in crime and wife, Y/N Evans-Y/L/N,'' Chris starts as he looks back at you, now standing in the middle of the dance floor.

His light blue suit compliments his eyes beautifully and matches the decor around the wedding venue, tying the whole outfit together. His beard and hair are styled in his usual way, making him look handsome, and you feel like you have found heaven on earth in this man.

Your husband. The more you think about it, the harder it is to believe, but it's true. You married your best friend, the love of your life, your partner through thick and thin.

''I'd like to start by telling you all how I met the most beautiful lady I have ever met, and who turned my world upside down from the moment she came into my life nearly 15 years ago.''

You just finished your work for the day, and now you're walking home from the school where you teach. Having a job only 10 minutes from your home is perfect, and being an elementary school teacher has always been one of your biggest dreams.

But today, you decide to stop in the bookstore on your way home as if something was pulling you into that building. The door swings open, a familiar warmth engulfs you, and you feel instantly at home.

You have spent many rainy days here and are good friends with the owners.

''Y/N! What a surprise to see you here; how is everything going?'' May asks; she's one of the two owners with her husband, Jason.

''It's good to see you again, May. I'm so sorry I haven't been here lately, but it's hectic at work now that we're nearing the end of the school year again. But I decided to revisit two of my favorite people; I have missed you both a lot,'' you tell her, and May nods in understanding.

''You're always welcome here, Y/N. We got a few books over the last few weeks that might be right up your alley. I stored them in the back until you would visit again,'' she says before walking off and getting said books.

Meanwhile, you're on your way to browse your favorite store section: True Crime. Something about this topic never ceases to amaze you, and you have spent many hours browsing the section.

Your eyes glide over the books until you spot one that immediately piques your interest. It's a little too high for you, but you try to reach for it anyway, but to no avail. You can't reach it even when you're standing on your tiptoes and let out a frustrated sigh.

''Can I help you with that?'' a deep voice on your right asks you, and when you turn your head, you look right into the eyes of the most handsome man you have ever seen. You stare at him for a few seconds until it dawns that he asked you a question, and your cheeks turn bright red in embarrassment.

''Oh! I'm so sorry! Uhm... Yes, please, can you hand me that one?'' you tell him as you point towards a book about Jeffrey Dahmer. The man reaches for it and grabs it off the shelf effortlessly, handing it to you with a charming smile.

''Here you go, Beautiful,'' he tells you, and you take the book from his hands with a shy smile and a chuckle leaving your chest.

''Thank you, uhm-'' ''Chris!'' ''Well, thank you, Chris,'' you tell him, and just as you're about to turn around and see if May is back, he stops you.

''I hope I'm not too forward here, but you're beautiful, and I was hoping we could get some coffee sometime if you're up for it,'' he tells you, and you happily agree.

A few days later, you're having coffee with the man you fell for in the bookstore, and you've never believed in love at first sight until you met Chris. He felt the same way and told you exactly that a few dates later. You two have never looked back and been together ever since that moment.

''I still remember that day like it was yesterday. That was the first time I ever heard you laugh. It has become one of my favorite things to hear, and I know I will never get tired of hearing it. It makes me feel like I'm home because you're nearby. And you're my home,'' he tells you before blowing a kiss your way.

''One of my favorite moments we have experienced together has to be the moment she met Dodger for the first time,'' Chris starts as he paces over the dance floor, his arms moving to emphasize his point.

Are you ready to meet him, Beautiful?'' Chris asks as you're sitting on his living room couch. You've always loved dogs, and ever since Chris told you about his furry friend, you couldn't wait to meet him.

He has told you about how he rescued him after filming in a shelter, and it warms your heart each time. You're getting a little impatient to see him now.

''Been ready for ages!'' you tell him with a chuckle, and that's when you hear it: his excited taps on the floor as he runs to the new person in his house, curious as ever.

''Who's that, Buddy? Say hi to her; she won't bite you!'' Chris tells him enthusiastically. Dodger can't contain his excitement, and he jumps on the couch where you're sitting, greeting you excitedly as Chris looks at the two of you.

''See? I told you he would like you,'' Chris tells you, and deep inside, you knew he would because he's the absolute best dog in the world. And to have Chris as his owner makes him the luckiest dog in the universe.

''Aren't you an excited little boy? Yeah, you are! God and you're so cute too, just like your Daddy,'' you say, and you look at Chris from the corner of your eye, seeing him turn bright red at your compliment.

''You two are way cuter together, though,'' he tells you, making you smile. From that moment on, wherever you went, Dodger went with you. He would be by your side anywhere inside the house; if you went outside, he would always want to accompany you.

That year, naturally, you had to take a photo of yourself, Chris, and Dodger in front of the Christmas tree, which is still your favorite photo of the three of you. Your own little family was enjoying their first Christmas together.

''I wouldn't want it any other way,'' you tell Chris when he's done telling the story, and once again, he blows a kiss your way. He's head over heels in love with you, and so are you with him. You can never get enough of him telling stories.

''The fondest memory I have of her, however, will have to be the moment I proposed to her while we were on vacation in Mexico,'' Chris tells everyone in the room, and a big smile adorns his face.

You and Chris have been together for a little over 13 years now, and even though you have discussed the idea of marriage a few times, it only became concrete now.

A few weeks before your departure on your yearly vacation with Chris, he started his search for the perfect engagement ring. He has visited several shops but eventually found the perfect one for you.

Now, all that's left is to pop the question.

You two just had dinner in an authentic Mexican restaurant and had some fantastic food, and now Chris is offering to take you on a walk on the beach. What you did not know, however, is that Chris's mom, Lisa, has prepared the place of the proposal for both of you.

''God, that food was amazing! I'm glad you chose that restaurant, Beautiful,'' Chris tells you as his fingers are interlaced with yours. The restaurant you initially wanted to visit was closed due to a personal emergency, so you decided to hit up an authentic Mexican restaurant nearby.

''I don't know what the other place would have been like, but I'm so glad we decided to go here because I would eat here again if I ever have the chance!'' you tell him, and Chris can't help but smile.

All he can think about is how that might be your go-to restaurant every time you come back to visit to relive your memories of the day he proposed to you.

He turns to you and admires how your dress flows in the wind, making you look nothing short of angelic. After you have walked for about 20 minutes, you spot the proposal site, and your head shoots over to Chris.

Is this happening?! You ask yourself, and you soon find out that it is happening. Right here, right now.

''Y/N, I'm not sure how I would have gotten where I am today without your encouragement and joy, without listening to your singing and watching you dance when you think no one is watching,'' he starts.

''I enjoy dreaming with you because you understand me like no one else could. I enjoy being sick now that you're there to care for me. You inspire me to get out of bed each morning, no matter how difficult the day ahead may be, and you make me want to accomplish the impossible,'' he tells you, and you're trying your hardest to conserve your make-up as the tears are escaping.

''We both want to live a colorful, memorable life, and we can make our wildest dreams come true if we work together on them. And that's why I want- no, need you for the rest of my life,'' he finishes his speech.

He grabs the ring out of his pocket, clutching the little box tightly before going down on one knee, and you put your hands over your mouth to stifle the sniffles coming out.

When he's down on his knee, he opens the small velvet box, revealing the engagement ring he picked out for you, and he asks the question you've been dying to hear ever since you realized he's about to propose.

''Y/N Y/L/N, will you make me the happiest man on earth and become my wife?''

''Oh my god, YES!'' you exclaim, and Chris takes the ring out of the box and gets up before grabbing your face gently, sealing your moment with a tender, sweet kiss.

''I love you so much, Chris, and I can't wait to marry you,'' you tell him, and from that moment on, you're going through life as the future Mrs. Evans.

''And now, here we are all gathered on our wedding day. Honestly, I couldn't have done this without you, Beautiful. You're the reason I am where I am today, and to have you by my side to witness it all is the cherry on top of the wedding cake!'' he says, and you have to wipe some tears away.

Your road may have been challenging, but you wouldn't change it for anything. If your relationship with Chris has proven anything, you can go through anything as long as you have him by your side and want to prove that to him every single day of your lives together.

When he's about to let everyone know they can start their dinner, you get up from your chair and jog over to him with the front of your wedding dress raised so you don't slip and fling yourself around his neck when you arrive.

''I love you, Chris, and thank you for that. Now you have made this day truly unforgettable,'' you tell him, his arms wrapped around you to pull you close to him.

''I love you too, Beautiful, and I will show you just how much every single day of the rest of our lives.''

And with that, your promises to each other are sealed with one more kiss. Your lips move as if they are made for one another, fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle. You have found heaven on earth in your husband, and you're officially the happiest woman in the universe.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Apologies if this comes across as a bit of a rant, don't mean it to be, but I have seen some really bad takes over the last few days. That being said these are my own opinions, no obligation to agree or disagree with them, I am just sharing my own opinions. Also some of these opinions may or may not be unpopular depending on what side you are on, I am fully team black so these views are in support of that.

Daemon is not a morally black character, he's a morally grey character, or at least he is supposed to be, he is literally described as being equal parts light and dark. So I'm getting tired of all these posts talking about how its ok for Daemon fans to like him but they should accept that he is a villain/morally black character. No he isn't either of those things and so when we complain that the show cut all his good moments and we are frustrated that they seem to have kept only his darker moments, its not because we don't thing he shouldn't do bad things, its because by not keeping him balanced and keeping those lighter moments as well they've mischaracterised him. The fact that people can sit there and make these posts saying he's morally black is just proof of how much they mischaracterised him in the show. I haven't even read the book but even I saw that quote going around about him being equal parts light and dark before the show came out, the promotion of his character often talked about this characterisation of him and it was what made me excited to see his character when I knew nothing else about him. So yeah its annoying and frustrating when the show didn't fully deliver on this.

Rhaenyra's eldest sons did not usurp Driftmark from Baela and Rhaena because Baela and Rhaena never stood to inherit it. Laena was never heir to Driftmark, Laenor was. So this argument that I keep seeing being pushed that Rhaenyra is trying to steal Driftmark from the girls is pointless and not true at all. The petition Rhaenyra puts to the crown is against Vaemond inheriting Driftmark over her sons, the girls had nothing to do with it, they themselves never even put themselves forward as claimants. The closest either of the girls came to inheriting Driftmark was when Rhaenys, in private, asked Corlys to name Baela heir. Corlys immediately shut it down and stuck to his decision to have Lucerys as his heir. So no Driftmark was never stolen from Baela or Rhaena because they were never at any point named heirs to it, you can't steal something from someone when it was never theirs to start with.

As for the marriage proposal Rhaenyra suggests between her sons and Laena's daughters, again this was not Rhaenyra trying to stop Baela and Rhaena from getting Driftmark (because they never stood to inherit driftmark) as I have seen some argue. The reason for the proposal was to smooth things over with Rhaenys and win back her support because Rhaenys believed Rhaenyra had Laenor killed so she could marry Daemon. It was also a very very good deal. Within a generation the Velaryons would have their blood on both the iron and the driftmark throne.

Rhaenyra was in an impossible situation and that is why she has 'bastards'. Yes I am putting it in quote marks because I don't consider them bastards as Viserys publically announced them as trueborn heirs and in doing so made them legitimate, I've made a whole post on it already so I won't cover that argument here but anyway. Her and Laenor tried but didn't succeed at having a child that was biologically their own. So Rhaenyra used Harwin to produce her heirs. But both Rhaenyra and Laenor considered those boys as their own, its not like Rhaenyra was trying to pull the wool over Laenor's eyes, he was in on it and he agreed to it, as did Harwin. Rhaenyra was under a huge amount of pressure to produce heirs, it was consider her duty, what else was she supposed to do? It was her blood that was important not Laenor's in this case, so as long as by blood they were hers that was the most important thing. I saw some say that she just should have not married Laenor, which honestly wtf, because she didn't have a choice. She had to marry Laenor because her father, the king, commanded her to. They both agreed to do their duty then see other people, so I am confused by the claims made that Rhaenyra only cared about her own pleasure and not her duty, like please she took her duty as heir and to the prophecy her father told her about very seriously. If the, she shouldn't have married Laenor, argument wasn't bad enough I then saw some saying well she just shouldn't have had children and should've named Alicent's children her heirs and everyone would have won. Umm, yeah, no, its not that simple. Like Rhaenyra had a duty to produce heirs, like it was made very clear in the show right from the first episode that a good King/Queen provides the realm with heirs, that's the society in which they live. The whole brother as an heir thing is a back up but Rhaenyra would still be expected by the houses and the people to produce as many heirs as possible. If Rhaenyra had chosen not to have any children the realm would only consider that proof that she wasn't fit to rule, it just would have given her a whole other set of political problems to deal with. I mean its the whole reason why Viserys was pressured into taking a second wife, he had heirs, Rhaenyra and Daemon, but this wasn't considered enough he was still under pressure to produce more. For the realm heirs meant security, for the royal house it meant ensuring the throne stayed in their family, continued with their own line. They live in a time when people died really easily of infection and disease, they didn't have modern medicine like we do, babies and children were particularly vulnerable, as was shown by Aemma talking about how many children they had lost. Which is why Aemma and Viserys tried time and again to have more children, why Alicent and Viserys had several children, why Rhaenyra has multiple children, because it is expected of them, because its considered their duty, the more heirs the better. So no Rhaenyra couldn't just shrug and go, oh well guess I won't have any children, my brothers can just inherit after me. I mean you have to think about the way these people think, that possibility would never have even entered Rhaenyra's head, or anyone else's for that matter. All Rhaenyra knows, due to the society she grew up in, is that as heir herself she has to produce heirs of her own, not rely on her father's other children to continue the line. When she realised she couldn't have children with Laenor she came up with another solution, with Laenor in the know and agreeing with it. Yet there are some out there that seem to think this makes Rhaenyra a villain or that she had bastards just because she is privileged and she does whatever she wants and thinks the rules don't apply to her. She wasn't any of these things, she was just desperate and lets be real just as trapped by duty as Alicent, just in a different way.

Rhaenyra's situation with her three sons is in no way comparable to Cersei's and her children. First of Rhaenyra is of the ruling house, it's her blood that is royal and her blood that matters, her boys all still have royal blood. In Cersei's case it was Robert with the royal blood not Cersei so the fact that her children only have her blood is what makes her children's heritage a problem more than them being illegitimate. Rhaenyra did not lie to Laenor or try to deceive him into thinking they were his by blood. So when he calls his sons his heirs he does so knowing that biologically they are not his. If he had lived to take the driftmark throne and he named Luke his heir he would have done so knowing that they didn't share blood. Robert had no clue that Joffrey wasn't his kid, Cersei did go out of her way to deceive him into thinking they were his, including getting him drunk and that getting into bed with him so he would think they had laid together and so he wouldn't question the birth of her children. So when Robert named Joffrey his heir he did so without any knowledge that it wasn't his son. Sorry but these two situations are completely different so you can't use one to justify another.

So the next thing I need to talk about is this, people don't seem to understand how bad it is that Alicent was trying to out Rhaenyra's sons, or why it was that she was pretty much the only person to do so. If Alicent got her way and Rhaenyra's children were acknowledged as bastards publicly then not just Rhaenyra and Harwin, but those three innocent boys could all be killed. That's the potential consequence of Alicent's actions, of her oh so righteous mission to reveal the truth. She is told on numerous occasions how dire the consequences of her insinuations are and yet she continues with them anyway, against the king's orders. On top of that she also makes public insinuations about Laenor's sexuality which again could get him killed. So Alicent is out here risking the lives of Rhaenyra's entire family and yet I'm supposed to support her and feel sympathy for her? No sorry, if everyone else also knows and keeps their mouths shut then so too can Alicent. I mean take Corlys and Rhaenys for example they too know that biologically those boys aren't their son's and they talk about it, but they do it in private. Even when Rhaenys suggests having Baela as heir she says they'll tell people they are honouring Laena's memory as an explanation to why Luke wouldn't be heir, she doesn't suggest hey lets tell everyone Rhaenyra's kids are illegitimate and so we're naming Baela heir, because she knows the consequence of that and whatever resentment she has towards Rhaenyra she won't risk those boys lives because of it. Apparently Alicent has no such qualms when it comes to those boys safety. People act like Alicent trying to out Rhaenyra and her children is some righteous mission but lets be real she's doing it because it serves her own interests. If Rhaenyra and her sons are exiled or killed then its her children who become the next heirs, its got nothing to do with right and wrong or holding Rhaenyra responsible for actions or whatever. Also this is kind of a side note but the thing I also find frustrating about Alicent's little crusade is that she can't know for sure. Like yes I know we as the audience know and everyone suspects it but nobody in that world can know for sure. It's like that story Viserys tells when Alicent brings it up to him, about the black mare, the silver stallion and the chestnut foal. Alicent tries to prove Viserys' point that genetics are weird, by asking if he was there during the act and if not how can he be sure. Here's the thing, the same can be applied to Alicent, unless she was there in the room when Rhaenyra's children were conceived then how can she know for sure that they aren't Laenor's, I mean the guy does have Baratheon blood on his mother's side which could explain the boys features.

The King's word is law and the King can't do whatever the hell he likes are both true statements. I am constantly seeing this argument made that well Viserys is the king so he can do this and he can choose to do that and its all bull, sorry but I think the show makes it clear that whilst yes Viserys as King has alot of power and his word is law, but that doesn't mean he can do what he likes without any consequence. You know which kings do whatever they like, the bad ones. Joffrey, The Mad King, Maegor the Cruel, (spoiler warning for got and fire and blood) and Joffrey was killed by a member of one of his houses, Lady Olenna at his wedding to her granddaughter, The Mad King was killed by his own King's Guard and Maegor was found with his slits wrist on his own throne with no one knowing who exactly might have killed him because he pissed off that many people. So this idea that just because he is King he can do whatever he wants is so false. People really want to paint Viserys out to be this terrible abuser of Alicent, and look I think Viserys made a lot of poor decisions but I don't think you can make the claim that he abused Alicent. Now Alicent's father I could see an argument made for him being abusive to her, he pretty much pimped his daughter out. But here's the truth of it, Viserys was also a victim of Otto's schemes, he was also a piece that Otto used in his political games, he was also manipulated and gaslit by Otto. I feel like some are so much on the lets hate all men bandwagon that they just see every one of them as this evil monster out for their own ends, when really they are all just imperfect characters, some are worse than others but Viserys is far from the worst of them. I've seen people say that Viserys had a choice whether to get remarried or not and actually no he didn't, not really. We saw what the consequence of him rejecting Laena's hand was, Viserys spent the next couple of episodes trying to fix the political problems that followed and the time span of that was four years. The houses of the realm all have resources that the crown needs, whether that be soldiers, ships or gold etc. If the King doesn't keep them happy they can withhold these resources or plot against the King and well then the crown is kind of screwed. So really the only real choice Viserys had when it came to remarrying was whether it should be to the 12 year old Laena, a child, or the 15 year old Alicent which whether we like it or not in their society at 15 Alicent was considered of age and a woman and not a child. So to be fair given the choice between the two it makes sense that he chose Alicent, one because she was a woman grown (in their eyes) and two because for the last 6 months she had been coming to his bed chambers and having talks with him and helped him through his grief. I think its clear that Alicent suffered through that marriage but I don't think the culprit for that is Viserys, its Otto that put them both in that position for his own greed and ambitions. I don't think Viserys was particularly happy in that marriage either but it comes back to what I said above and the expectation to provide heirs. And lets be real here Viserys let Alicent get away with a lot of stuff that other Kings would have likely punished her severely for. Viserys just wanted to keep the peace, like him or not, he was far from a monstrous tyrant some seem to paint him as.

There is no prove that Rhaenyra ever actually intended to kill her siblings when she ascended the throne. I see this one quite a bit, that Alicent and TG had to usurp the throne because otherwise Rhaenyra would have no choice but to kill them as they were a challenge to her claim. But we are never given any indication that Rhaenyra planned to hurt her siblings and there were other solutions, she could ask them to publicly bend the knee and swear fealty to her, if other houses rose up in Aegon's or the other children's name then she could put them in a position where they can not inherit for example the Night's Watch or a position of honour as a Queen's Guard or as a Maester. Or she could have sent them into exile if it really came down to it. I mean even after they usurp her throne Rhaenyra still shows restraint and is concerned with the blood that would be shed if they go to war so I don't think it likely that she would have just killed them if they didn't try to challenge her.

The animosity between TG and TB's children is mostly Criston Cole's fault but also somewhat Alicent and Otto's fault. I mean Cole really pitted those boys against each other in the training yard, matching Aegon against Jace despite it clearly being an unfair match and also encouraging Aegon to be cruel in his fight against Jace, its no environment for kids to learn in. Instead it just fuelled the animosity between the boys. Add to that Alicent whispering to them about how Rhaenyra and by extension her boys are threats to them and its not surprising that the boys don't get along. When it comes to Alicent though I do think alot of her fear was instilled in her by her father and that is then trickling down into her own children. Otto tells Alicent that Rhaenyra will kill her children and puts that fear in her and then in turn Alicent passes that same message to her children, that the blacks are the enemy. Also I see alot of people claiming that Luke is a bully, that seems to be the justification for Aemond killing Luke, its well Luke took out Aemond's eye and bullied him about not having a dragon. Here's the thing though we only really see one instance of Jace and Luke bullying Aemond and that is the instance with the pig and it was clearly actually instigated by Aegon, the same Aegon who would grow up to enjoy watching children fight each other, which I again blame Cole for, more trickle effect in my opinion. We actually see a lot more scenes of the greens antagonising and bullying the blacks than the other way around. And I know what some will say, but Luke took Aemond's eye out. Which yes, and that's terrible but if you actually watch that fight scene again, the black's children are upset about their mother's dragon and are expressing that, the only one who was actually hurling insults and calling people names is Aemond, whilst the others are fearful Aemond is enjoying it. And before anyone comes at me, no I am not saying that its ok that Aemond lost his eye, nothing about that whole fight was ok and I mostly once again blame the adults, like was no one watching these kids, oh wait just remembered t was supposed to be Cole watching the kids that night so I guess I'm just going to blame him for this one too. The point is though we see Aemond, knock Jace twice in the training yard unprovoked, we see Aemond calling them names etc in that fight with the others, we see Aegon using Jace and Luke to bully his little brother, we see Aegon making vulgar comments to Jace and Baela at the dinner after their betrothal, Aemond making toasts insinuating the boys illegitimacy even after everyone had made up and causing a fight to break out. When it comes to Luke we see him, play the prank with the pig, slash Aemond's eye whilst trying to stop him from bashing Jace's head in with a rock and smile at a pig, which we don't even know for sure if he was smiling at the pig as you can hear Rhaena laughing next to him and so he could have been laughing at something she said. I'm not really sure those last two would count seeing as one was in smile defence and the other may or may not have even been about the pig, even if it was Luke just laughed and then turned away he didn't actually say anything. So like given how much more we see Aemond and Aegon antagonising Jace and Luke, whose the real bully?

Anyway think I've ranted on long enough. I've just done a rewatch of the first season so I've got a lot of thoughts currently. Might make some posts about them, we'll see.

[hello0780]

solitaire Ranttttt

I love this book and I've read it at least 30 times. i just want to say before I start that these are my personal opinions about the book.

I know i said I've read it a lot but i still don't know everything so please don't get mad if i get any facts incorrect.

Solitaire starts as Victoria (tori) Spring is starting school after x-mas or winter break. Tori lives with her mom, dad, and two brothers, Charlie and Oliver. Charlie, who is also in the heartstopper comics, struggles with an ED. I truly think that this effects Tori's life a lot. I know its not Charlies fault but I'm sure tori is almost constantly worrying about him. Tori and her mother don't get along very well. I'm not entirely sure why they don't but i think they touch more on that fact in This Winter. I've read it but it was a long time ago and i really need a reread.

on a different note. I've been needed to talk about this but none of my friends care enough. This is a controversial opinion but i hate Becky. she is such a bitch to tori and i just can't stand her. i know most of the time when tori and her would fight it would be when Becky is drunk but that doesn't make anything she has done right. she dated Ben Hope, one of the worst people in the universe of solitaire. i guess i don't really have a true reason to hate her accept for the fact that i have had friends like Becky. its all fine and its a beautiful friendship, then out of nowhere they go behind you and become friends or start dating someone that isn't a good person. they don't know they are a bad person and you do. and if you try to tell them that they are a bad person they either don't care or they don't believe you. I truly don't get why people like Becky. this is way too much but I'm going to do it any way. I'm going to analyze one of their fights.

pages 226-228 Solitaire

Becky was kissing Ben Hope after 100% knowing how awful of a person he was and still is to her best friends little brother. Tori sees this happening at the Solitaire party and is furious. which is completely reasonable because of how actually nasty he is.

after ben walks off Becky asks tori what she's looking at. in the next bit tori just goes off on her saying stuff like "you are a nasty bitch," and "you just don't care, do you?"

"that's it isn't it? I'm you naive little friend whose sad little life makes you feel better about yourself. well, you're absolutely spot-on there. I haven't got a single clue about anything. But you know what i do know? I know when someone is being a nasty bitch. Go ahead and cry your little crocodile tears if you want to. You don't fucking care at all do you?" this is a rant Tori goes on while arguing. This leaves Becky absolutely speechless.

"well- you- you're the one being a nasty bitch! Jesus Christ just calm down." After Becky says this Tori tells the reader that, i quote, "this is bad. I need to stop. I can't" Tori is now aware that she can't help was she says anymore. She no longer trust Becky. She no longer has a "BFF". Becky has betrayed her.

Tori continues to yell at Becky. "I'm sorry - do you have any comprehension of the level of betrayal you have just reached? Do you have any concept of friendship? I didn't think it was possible for someone to be that selfish, but clearly i've been wrong all this time" Tori is very very upset now and then says " You've killed me. You've literally killed me."

Becky has single handedly DESTORYED Tori. Becky is awful, and of course she just tells her to calm down. she literally was just making out with a boy that SA'd HER BEST FRIENDS BROTHER! and she knew he did it. which is ACTUALLY INSANE!!!!!

just the amount of betrayal and shit she caused makes be fucking sick to my stomach. yeah i do know that its a fake story and they aren't real people. it's just the fact that people like Becky do really do shit like this. I can't believe people are actually capable of stuff like this.

i really need to shut up but i have two more quotes from Tori then I'll stop.

"You have solidly proven that everyone and everything is shit. well done. Gold star. please delete yourself from my life."

" i am gone. I am gone. I guess everyone is like this. Smiles, hugs, years together, holidays, late night confessions, tears, phone calls, one million words - they don't mean anything. Becky doesn't care. No one really cares."

thank you for listening/reading

[thatswhatsushesaid]

ok so i understand why it's appealing to read junlian (like i'm literally in that camp with all the respectable fans with impeccable tastes) but. but i think it's Important for the sake of fully Understanding their dynamic and representing it in the most accurate way to keep in mind - at all times - that it was always meant to be a (pseudo)parental relationship first and foremost.

JW is not the representation of a toxic jealous ex. he's the representation of a toxic parent who will traumatise you in the most horrific ways while saying (and genuinely believing in his own mind) that he's only doing it for your own good. he loves you because you remind him of all the good parts of himself. he can't stand seeing his own reflection in you. he won't ever let you go. it breaks his heart to have to break you, but what choice does he have? the outside world is cruel and it's his job to prepare you for suffering.

yeah i don't think the source material supports a read of jun wu's relationship with xie lian as an ex of any kind tbh, that's not the vibe i got at any point while reading the books. my shipping goggles aside, i hope i haven't conveyed that through my of my commentary, and if i have--oops! was it the comparison i drew between junlian and hannigram in my meme? i mean, even though by s3 the question of hannibal being explicitly in love with will graham is broached on screen by bedelia du maurier (to say nothing of their overtly intimate embrace before they tumble off the cliff together), s1 is where the comparison between the two dynamics really works for me. because imo hannibal's fascination with will at that point is at its most paternalistic, and will's rejection of him at the end of s1 when he finds out (or believes he's found out!) what hannibal did to abigail is analogous to xie lian's complete rejection of jun wu the moment he sees his reflection in the sword. end-of-s1 will is about as interested in hannibal romantically as he is in voluntarily eating abigail's ear: he isn't, he didn't ask for this, he's in hell, etc. similarly, xie lian's entire understanding of his relationship with jun wu, the rock and fundament of his time in the heavenly court, has just been irreparably destroyed. from his perspective, everything he thought he knew and understood to be true about their relationship was built on lies, and he's not wrong.

all that to say, while i do think that the text can support a romantic read of jun wu's feelings towards xie lian without ever explicitly confirming it as such, i for sure agree with you that that wasn't mxtx's intention when writing the dynamic. she's pretty clear, again and again when describing how xie lian sees jun wu, that his behaviour is seen and interpreted as parental and fatherly.

[mybworlds]

Bittersweet

CHAPTER 1

status: ongoing

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: your life is full of 'must'. You live with your overprotective mother who controls every aspect of your life. You have a dream, to write romance novels, but love - real love - you haven't found yet. Your mother has even decided what you must do in your free time: play music. One day, however, when you go to your music teacher's house, you will have an unexpected encounter and from that day on things change…

rating: 18+ explicit (minors, DNI)

Before to start... Hello people, I know there are other two ff that I already started, but I dreamt this new idea for my new ff. So I decided to write it down it. So here we are. If you want to let me know what you think about it I'd be glad to read you.

No offence pls, if you dislike it go away :)

Thanks @vase-of-lilies for the banner

You always dreamed of doing something special, of being the person who would make a difference in the world….

So you hoped.

You hoped to become a great writer of romance novels, and you hoped to instill hope in the hearts of young people not to give up in the face of love and the possible obstacles that may arise.

But not all dreams come true.

In fact, you ended up working in a small bar on the outskirts of your town, surrounded by the many stories of the many diners who populate the place during the daytime or evening hours--depending on the shifts. These stories are the most different, and cannot help but feed your wild imagination.

In the evening, when you are not on shift, you write dozens and dozens of stories on your computer: some are shorts, some are very long and have happy endings, some less. It depends on your mood and how you imagine certain events you've witnessed or heard will end.

"I'm home!"

Your mother has just returned from a nearly seventy-two-hour shift at the hospital, she works in emergency medicine, and - since your father died (or at least she always said) - when she's not at home, you have to do everything, housework and bar work, grocery shopping, paying bills.

"Hi, Mom."

You absentmindedly greet her by putting down your computer glasses and crinkling your eyes in exhaustion.

"Did you buy groceries?"

The usual string of questions starts, to which you always answer with a distracted yes. You are almost 30 years old, but sometimes you feel like you are 40s or even 50s. Sometimes you think you would just like to enjoy youth, to be carefree, light-hearted, you would like to be free even to make mistakes, and instead you feel caged in this life. In a life where the only rule is you must.

"So you're okay with that?" your mother suddenly asks, making you get your feet back on the ground.

"What?" you ask confused.

"You might even listen to me for once!" blurts out Mom.

"I just got distracted for a second!" you exclaim trying to catch up.

Mom snorts, "I asked you if you were free tomorrow for your guitar lesson."

Ah yes, the exhilarating guitar lessons!

Mom, ever since Dad left (but she always said it was as if he was dead), has demanded that you take piano lessons first and guitar lessons later, like your father. You can't understand your mother, sometimes she seems to hate your father, sometimes she doesn't.

About love, you've always wanted it to be forever. Maybe it's just some romantic bullshit you always watched in movies or read in books, but you want to believe that there really exists out there for you, someone who is willing to love you for a lifetime. Too bad you haven't found anyone so far who is willing to love you the same way you love, to want you the way you want!

Going back to your guitar lessons, your teacher is a bit of a peculiar guy, a bit of a loner, a lover of many things and one opposed to the other. He's -- you don't know exactly how to define him. You've never been able to decipher him. He seems gruff, but at the same time he has a good side and probably deep down sweet.

Very deep down.

"Yes, don't worry." Mom, ever since he left, has become overprotective in some ways with you, has demanded to control you even though you are not so young anymore, wants to know what you read, what you see, what you do. It may seem normal, perhaps, for a mom to try to get to know what her child does, but not the way she does. If you are evasive for one reason for another, she becomes a hound, suffocating almost. Once she even demanded to read a chat you created with friends fearing that you might be in touch with a man much older than you, and instead she found herself a chat where you were exchanging sometimes funny and sometimes even private messages with some of your close friends from school, which even embarrassed you, but mom justified herself by saying she was doing it for you. She even banned you from driving for fear that you might have a car accident! You have a driver's license, but your mother won't even let you drive around town. She always has to be the one to drive you. These manias of hers are suffocating!

"Good. Do you have money to pay for it?" she asks you.

"Yes, don't worry," you reply, going to prepare dinner.

"We have to be very punctual or I'll be late for the hospital," she informs you.

"Do you have another night?" you ask her "It will be the fifth time in a month! But didn't there used to be shifts once even in the hospital?" you ask again as you prepare some pasta.

"Yes, but -- you know, there are only a few of us and then there are even more emergencies than usual."

You follow your mother with your eyes as you see her typing on her cell phone. Your mother sometimes looks like the young woman and you look like the mom.

What an unfair life!

The next day your life flows as usual, you get up very early, make coffee bringing it also to your mother, go to shower, get dressed and go to work.

At the café there is the usual hustle and bustle, who wants coffee, who wants a croissant, who wants a slice of pizza, who wants something else. You don't have a moment to yourself. Only when it's almost lunchtime now, you stop and go to the back of the store to eat your sandwich and smoke. Yes, you smoke. The only real transgression in your life. If your mother found out she would probably kill you, but you don't care smoking makes you feel good and maybe it makes you feel good because it's a decision you made, not because it was forced on you.

You rub one temple and look toward the road covered with a hint of snow. You wonder what you would have been doing by now if you had not been there with your mother, if maybe you were busy in college or maybe in pursuing some master's degree, you wonder who you might have been if you had dared to live your life to the fullest.

In the afternoon, your mother - after making sure you are dressed appropriately, that you have sheet music and whatnot - drops you off in front of your teacher's building.

The latter lives on the top of seven floors, it's practically a penthouse, it's beautiful place. Being with him -- a little less so.

When you knock, you are about to greet him, but a completely different man from your teacher appears in front of you. He is tall, much taller than your teacher and you, curly brown hair, dark eyes, a look that is at first grim, then curious, defined jaw line and curved nose. He is perhaps 40 years old.

You stand open-mouthed, thinking you had the wrong house for a moment, then realizing it's the right address.

"I was looking for Mr. Miller," you say.

"In person." he replies.

"Tommy Miller," you say.

"I'm his brother." he says again.

You are about to say something, but he is the one who interrupts you by asking if you are his student and calling your name, you nod in confusion.

"My brother had to leave yesterday morning. He told me you were coming and to wait for you to let you know." he clarifies by placing his hands on his hips.

He is incredibly muscular; you have never seen a man like him. He hits you right away.

"I see. Then -- I'll go." ready to leave.

You make to turn your back to him "Did Mommy tell you not to talk to strangers?" he asks making you turn back to him "I saw you get out of your mother's car." he adds noticing your confused look.

"What did you say?" you ask in annoyance.

You see him smirking and cross his arms "Are you afraid the big bad wolf will eat you?"

You wrinkle your forehead "First, I don't even know who you are." you say moving a couple of steps closer to him "And second…"

"Joel." he introduces himself by extending his hand.

"You're creepy -- Joel," you say looking first at his hand and then at his face.

"You, on the other hand, are shy." he notes looking at you and running his gaze over your figure. No one has ever looked at you like this. Making your skin warmed. "Yes, you are a shy little one." he adds, smiling and making wrinkles appear on the sides of his eyes.

"Your brother is definitely nicer," you say.

Lie. Tommy has always been very much on his own.

He just bends his head to the side, "Funny, people always told me I'm the nice one of the Miller brothers."

Gotcha.

"Well, maybe they never really knew you!"

"And you in less than a minute figured out who am I?" he asks, leaving you speechless.

No, you know very well that you cannot judge anyone in less than a minute. If someone had judged you in less than a minute they probably would have dismissed you as an ordinary young woman, lacking dreams of her own, trivial.

Perhaps the same thing applies to the man in front of you, Joel Miller.

[thegirlwholied]

fellow period-piece swooners, I have a movie rec for you and I am downright flexing my hand about it. and I am sorry, so sorry, that you cannot watch it right now- because I attended the world premiere at TIFF last night and apparently it's still seeking distribution which means unfortunately there are no gifs yet for me to reblog - but this is your notice to keep a weather eye:

the movie is the Widow Clicquot. the plot is champagne!

...not the celebratory spritz and spray of it all, but the dedication and innovation and passion and knowing-your-taste-and-insisting-on-it of getting bubbles to be just the right size and fuck Napoleon's embargos actually...

also, the people expressing opinions about Napoleon are a British cast pretending to be French - which I guess appeals to the piece of my soul that is Les Mis.

it's beautifully filmed in a way I specifically associate with Pride & Prejudice 2005... which makes sense given the director, Thomas Napper, directed the second camera unit on P&P 2005 & Atonement & Anna Karenina & etc. Joe Wright, who directed those, is a producer here (and was on stage last night & I had no idea who he was whoops).

there's a scene of exploding champagne bottles that may haunt me forever the way the floating cotton in North & South 2004 does. that & the vines.

to quote Taylor Swift, "it's giving cinematography."

the Widow Clicquot herself is played by Haley Bennett (who has been in many things I haven't seen...yes I had to imdb Haley while sitting in the row right behind her but) who I have seen before in Music & Lyrics! As Cora Corman! "Way Back Into Love"! & "Buddha's Delight"- I believe in karma (la, la, la)

anyway she's great in this - the Q&A host after called her performance "transcendant", not wrong - she had a SAG-AFTRA waiver to be there, and thankfully because this was very apparently a passion project throw-everything-you-are-into-it role for her. And her post-movie quotes speaking both about the character's passion and her own- "do something that makes you feel like a goddess!"; "do what you love and let it kill you"- made me a fan.

the Widow Clicquot's dead husband? Tom Sturridge, The Sandman himself and playing just as much a dream as Dream (note: I do not promise "dreamy" I promise "dream" which can also have adjectives like "wild" and "fever" applied). You need a good voice when leaning on some voiceover from letters/memory for a character; he sure has it.

but. Sam Riley. aka Mr Darcy from Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, and Maleficent's hot raven (and looks even better in this imho)- his character is Louis Bohne, Veuve Clicquot's wine merchant, and as much as the Widow herself, his character made me go, "I need to read the book" to learn how much was history v fiction there.

the character dynamic was: damn, of course you're cool with your husband's libertine BFF/possibly-lover, you're secure and he's such fun company.... your husband's tragically gone but his friend helps you out & appreciates your true love of the vineyard without overstepping... well. get yourself a friend you can both giggle with over how hot the new foreman is (Leo Suter filling a historical-eye-candy role) ... AND hook up with yourself. you go girl, & bless your hot bisexual heart fictionalized Louis Bohne.

(hottest kiss in cinema off the top of my head is always the Timothy Olyphant & Jennifer Garner first kiss in Catch & Release. But some scenes here flirt with that level, & it was the Widow/Louis scenes for me).

the sound alone made this one worth seeing in theaters; sounds were so well used (maybe when a movie is so much about taste, & you can't convey taste through a screen, you double down on the senses you can) and it was scored by Bryce Dessner from The National (whose brother has been collaborating on Taylor Swift's recent best tunes)-

the Widow's name is Barbe-Nicole and not to make a Champagne Barbie reference but this hit in the spot Barbie also reached for, in a subtle way, with the effortlessly close relationship she has with her maid (Lizzie from Peaky Blinders! thanks imdb, knew I knew that face) and the woman in a man's world of it all - obviously one who created a successful dynasty of champagne and how did I never know how instrumental women have been in creating champagne as we know it, about to jump down a historical rabbit hole here-

+ also. grief. "you don't understand. he wasn't just someone's first love". an early line + the one that stuck with me.

anyway. not to say I think it's a perfect movie (there were a few "wait I need more information" beats that left me feeling like I *need* and not just want to read the book)... and it didn't make me think "this better be up for an Oscar" (One Life, with Johnny Flynn & Anthony Hopkins which I saw Saturday: made me cry & should be)- though I think it could be for sound!... and I don't know if I'd say it's the movie I enjoyed the most (Flora & Son, out Sept 29) or learned the most from (Paul Simon documentary, all 209 minutes of it, probably takes that of the 4 films I saw)-

But it's the one I'm writing this post about. & I'm going to get the book. It made me want a bottle of Veuve Clicquot champagne. & to go to the champagne region. & to see gifs of it on my dash, immediately. & I would read fan fic if there was some- it built the characters and its own movie world enough for that, with enough space left to wonder- and when a movie can do that, it thrills me.

anyway Tumblr, or at least the side I always land on. I think you'd like it. I think it's your kind of movie too. and it's filled with a lot of love from people who clearly loved making it. here's to independent productions and the unions fighting for fair deals to make a living doing what they love, here's to feeling like a goddess, here's to gorgeous period pieces and gif makers of scenes to come, here's to the author in the audience who got to see her book on screen- and the movie star who got it made and all of us still working on making our own art into something that can be seen someday. Here's to the passion of creativity in whatever shape it takes, pour the champagne 🍾🥂

[lexithwrites]

Hi :) 80 + wolfstar

hi izzy!!

prompts

80. “How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you?”

slight TW for this one, just Sirius having negative thoughts about himself but just in case anyone is upset by that the warning is here!

—————————— ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ——————————

"I love you."

Sirius stared at him, eyes darting across his face to try and read any ounce of humour or deceit, but there was nothing there. Remus was being genuine, but how? How could he love him?

It was Sirius.

"You've had too much to drink, Moons." Sirius snorted, shaking hands moving to grab his wine glass and fill it up. Slightly contradictory, since Sirius had drank most of the wine that night. Maybe that's what it was; he was drunk and he misheard him.

"No, I haven't," Remus was frowning at him from across the kitchen island. "I mean it, Sirius—"

"No you don't,"

"Yes I do!"

"Stop it!" Sirius voice sent Remus back a step and he swallowed. The glass in his hand was shaking now, too, and Sirius put down the wine bottle before he accidentally dropped it on the floor. "You...you don't mean that, Remus. And it's fine, really, I'm not mad at you—"

"What are you talking about?"

"You can't love me, no, you don't love me," Sirius shook his head and took a long gulp, wincing at the burn in his throat. He fucking hated white wine. "We're friends,"

"If that's how you feel about me that's fine—" Remus tried to step closer to him again but Sirius backed up and against the counter.

"No, don't do that," he mumbled, his voice trembling. Remus was playing a cruel trick on him now, that's all it was. He felt sorry for him because Sirius couldn't hold a healthy relationship down and Remus had never dated anyone. It was all too convenient and it wasn't true. Remus didn't love him. "You're being mean."

He could never love him. He was a fucking mess.

"I"m telling you how I feel, how is that mean?" Remus didn't understand. He saw how Sirius looked at him, how often he touched him. He knew. He knew he wanted this so why was he denying it? "Sirius—"

"I don't believe you."

"Why not?"

"Because why would you love me, Remus? What good am I to you?" Sirius spat and that made Remus pause.

"You don't think you're good enough?" He whispered. Sirius hated being vulnerable, fuck. But now he had backed himself into a corner and couldn't escape. “How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you?”

"Stop it—"

"I've always loved you,"

"Moony, please—"

"I mean it, Sirius. Ever since we first met I've been mental for you and I'm sorry but I need to tell you before I explode because I know—" Remus took his hand and Sirius jumped at how close they were. "—I know you feel something for me. I know I'm plain, and all I do is read my books and mind my own business, and I wear these ugly fucking jumpers and I smoke too much, but I know you feel it too, Pads. I see it in your eyes when you look at me."

Sirius looked up. Guess he wasn't as slick as he thought. He watched as Remus' soft brown eyes scanned his own face for something, anything, and he let out a whimper.

"But it's me," Sirius mumbled, putting down the glass and fisting Remus' jumper. They were always so soft and smelt so good, like sandalwood and pine cigarettes and him. "I don't deserve someone as good as you, Moony. I never have. S'why I never said anything."

"You silly git," Remus chuckled, tears welling in his eyes that made Sirius' mouth part in shock. He never saw Remus cry. "You say everything that's on your mind but that?"

Sirius' cheeks flushed. "Well, you know how I hate rejection—"

Remus pulled him against his chest and Sirius melted. Just like he always did. Then it slowly started to sink in that Remus loved him. He loved him. All these years of pining for him in secret—or as secret as telling James as often as he could was—just for Remus to love him back. Maybe he was a silly git.

"Can we promise to just tell each other everything from now on?" Remus mumbled into his hair and Sirius shivered. His voice always did that to him.

"Yeah, okay." He nodded and nuzzled his jumper. "S'always been you, Moony."

"I know," Remus replied, "and it's always been you."