#I can't joke anymore at this point it just fucking hurts

[gojos-thot-patrol]

I now present you with:

Random JJK men head cannons I made while in my feels~

Only my main 3 for now: Suguru, Gojo, Nanami.

SUGURU

Suguru is a music guy. I dont make the rules.

Like, he had an alternative phase back in the day, I lean to mall goth personally, and learned guitar he was such a music guy

Always knew where the best shows were at and was always at them. His favorite type of first date

He doesn't just listen to rock either, he listens to it all. Rock, Pop, Hip Hop, hell he'd even listen to County is the song was a hard enough bop

His love language is albums and playlist.

He has an actual record player and plays actual records. Like a hipster.

Also, the man can cook. Idk, I just get those vibes.

Like, hes naturally really good at it, but never does it cause he hates it.

Unless it's for you baby.

If his SO asked him to cook, he would do it without hesitation. Eating is important

Gets kinda distant when you ask about his technique. Hates talking about it. The most anyones ever gotten out of him is that curses taste like vomit

Which, is probably why actual foods tasting good is so important to him

Former smoker. He actually stopped once he left Jujutsu Sorcerery. He just, wasn't stressed anymore.

Still craves a cigarette whenever Mahito opens his mouth though.

His favorite color was formerly blue. These days it's more of an emerald green

Is fucking fantastic at wii sports. Especially the boxing game, that is where he shines.

GOJO

CONTROVERSIAL TAKE: this man hates drugs. Like, even weed he can't stand it. And he tried too, back in his younger days, just not his thing.

He hates when things mess with his head or his perception. It's why he's not big on drinking either. Especially if it slows his reflexes, he's not about it

Owned a bucket hat and puka shell necklace and at one point is not nearly sorry enough for it.

Hes a bitch for coffee. Don't ask me why, it's just the vibe.

Ok, let me rephrase, he likes creamer with a dash of coffee, add in lots of sugar and milk.

Hes actually a huge sweets guy. Like, to the point that he for sure has a giant candy bowl in his classroom and it's not for his students

Hes not great at communicating his feelings and needs. He has a hard time identifying then in the first place honestly

So, the clearest insight as to how he's feeling is through whatever music he's currently listening too.

Like "Hey babe..you ok?" "Oh? Yea of course doll! Why would you ask that?" "Well, we've been listening to the Johnny Cash cover of 'Hurt' on repeat and people that are ok don't typically do that"

Once it's pointed out to him, he is willing to talk about it to figure out what's going on. Can't fix a problem when you don't know what it is anyway. But, it's gotta be pointed out first.

Cats just love him. No, that's not a pun. Like, stray cats will come up to him on the street and rub up against him and love on him. Cats love him.

And while I wasn't going to make it, he has made the "what can I say? Imma pussy magnet" joke

NANAMI

This man kicks ass at mortal Kombat. Like, that's how he used to blow off steam when he worked his office job and now that's just a skill he has

Any fighting game really. That includes smash bros. Gojo onces convinced Itadori that Nanami never really played games, then challenged him to a bet

Easiest 5000 yen Gojo ever made. Until Nanami found out and demanded half

Hes secretly a huge nerd in general. Like, he has the entirety of star trek on DVD and listens to D&D podcasts

Hes a thin guy. You'd think he wouldn't eat much, right? WRONG that man's legs are hollow. He is every all you can eat buffets worst nightmare

Hes secretly punk. It's some of his favorite music, The Misfits are his favorite band.

Really, he just likes any music that could be considered aggressive. He never has nor would he ever dress like it though

Actually loves fruity drinks. Like he keeps a bottle of Pink Whitney at his apartment for mixed drinks.

Hes not picky though, he'll drink whatever you give him. Unless it tastes like pear. Not a big fan of pear

If he drives a car, it's the most worn our beater you've ever seen. He has the money to replace it, but why do that when it still runs just fine?

Probably because the passenger side door is held together with duct tape, but whatever.

His favorite color is yellow. Like, a pastel cozy yellow, and also more saturated warm yellows. He says it's a happy color and it makes him smile.

Used to have a coffee addiction, but didn't like being addicted to anything. So he's more of a tea guy now.

Can't stand messy, but also loves cleaning so it works out for him. He says cleaning is calming.

Especially when he's playing Dragula at 7am. Much to his neighbors, and sometimes his So's dismay.

Genuinely, as an autistic person, I think he's autistic. Like, the monotone voice and the "I don't give praise or ridicule, I just speak facts" gives me those vibes

Also, he just says what's on his mind and has little to no filter. Sometimes that's a good thing, more often than not it's bad.

Will just randomly crack random body parts. His knuckles, back, neck, his elbows. He snap crackles and pops.

Hes also double jointed in his shoulders, so good luck trying to pin/wrestle with him ever

[a-boca-do-inferno]

stranger (logan howlett x human!reader)

summary: You say something Logan doesn't like very much.

warnings: swearing, a little explicit at the end

words: 0.5k

Sometimes it's hard for you to tell if he's actually real. You can feel his skin on yours, his gentle touch. He smiles so wide when you make a silly joke, and the way he says your name, like you’re the most precious thing he's ever known... You almost feel like you’re going to wake up any moment, only to find out that Logan was just one of your very vivid dreams.

“Sometimes I don't think you're real, you know?”

“Hm?”, he only mutters in response, his eyes meeting yours.

You clear your throat, suddenly very self-conscious of your own words just now. “I said...”, your voice comes out somewhat impatient. You didn't even know you felt this way. “Sometimes I don't think you're real.”

“Why would you think that?”, he says gruffly.

You shrug, not really affected by his reaction. It's not exactly a surprise. “I don't know, I just do.”

There's a glimpse of the same impatience you feel in his eyes, but it's almost as if he's trying to hide it from you. That's one thing that does seem real about Logan: his over-protectiveness when it comes to you. “But you shouldn't, it's a stupid thought. I'm very much real, last time I checked”, he then turns back to whatever he was doing before, some repairment on his motorcycle.

“I didn't mean to upset you”, it's all you can say at this point, searching for his eyes again. He doesn't respond, so you continue. “It's just... When I woke up here, all I had was myself and some stranger willing to help me remember who I was and where I'm from, and now...”

“Now you're still here, with some stranger”, the words sound rough, too rough even for him, which makes you understand you said something stupid. Logan comes closer and you have to restrain the instinct of holding him while franticly apologizing. “You can leave anytime you want, sweetheart. I'm not exactly keeping you captive.”

“Logan...”

“What? Are you gonna say it's not what you meant, again? I've been getting a lot of those lately”, you sense his animosity like rain pouring over you, inevitable. You hurt him, you know you did.

Fuck. “Baby, I'm sorry”, it's all you can ever say in situations like this. You’re always the wrong one, always the one who apologizes for saying stupid shit. You'd think it would be the other way around with the Wolverine. You can't help but sigh deeply, feeling too stupid to even use the right words to describe how you're feeling to your boyfriend. You close the gap between you both and hug him, not discouraged when he doesn't hug you back. It's always like that with him. “You're not a stranger, not anymore anyway. How could I love a stranger so much?”

“Don't you try to buy me with I love you's, it ain't gonna work this time”, he mumbles grumpily, however you can see his lips curved slightly.

“What about a kiss?”, you offer, getting on your tiptoes to reach his mouth. You share a slow, gentle kiss, like the first one he gave you a few years ago, in a small cabin on the top of the hill. “Thank you for saving me.”

“I already told you to stop saying that, (y/n). It's been years.”

“But my gratitude doesn't change because of it.”

Logan gives you one of his amused looks, then holds you tighter around the waist. “What's for dinner?”

You laugh cheekily, whispering in his ear. “All the pussy you can eat, mister.”

[adoringhaikyuu]

Hey i was wondering if you could do something like haikyuu/jjk men telling pregnant readers how they have gained a lot of weight (basically make a comment on their weight)... Ends with fluff??

P. S: i looove your writing style. Whenever i have a bad day I read your haikyuu fanfics b4 going to bed and they make me less anxious 😊

WHEN THEY MAKE A COMMENT ON YOUR PREGNANCY WEIGHT AND UNINTENTIONALLY OFFEND YOU

characters: atsumu + bokuto + iwaizumi + kuroo + (gn!reader)

warnings: none

notes: i kinda changed it a lil bit hope u don't mind <3 i was planning on making full blurbs but i don't have the mental capacity rn sjdfkgh

★ atsumu has never backtracked so fast in his life––he made the comment without even thinking really, as he was scrolling through his phone, half-listening to you. his eyes immediately widened when he was met with your shocked silence and he practically threw himself over to your side on the couch with pleading eyes before you could waddle your way up, "no wait babe i didn't mean it like that, i think you're the most beautiful you've ever been now that you're carrying our child––" and when you reply with "so you only think i'm beautiful because i'm pregnant with your child?" ...he knows he's fucked up. he'll beg and grovel for days though don't worry. he's treating you like royalty until you forgive him.

★ bokuto literally does not realize he's offended you, please. he just casually mentions how big and round your belly has gotten because he thinks it's so cute!! and he goes about his day like nothing happened,,, cause he literally does not realize that he's hurt you. when you're in a pissy mood, he gets real sad because you're not talking to him and when you are, it's in snarky comments (hormones can be a bitch and so can you!) when he hesitantly asks you what's wrong with a pout on his face, and you mumble something about your big round belly his ears perk up and he tilts his head like a puppy, immediately wrapping you in arms gently. "babyyy, i didn't mean it in a bad way, i think you're adorable, beautiful, gorgeous and everything in between" he places his hands on your stomach and caresses it softly, quickly easing you up to him again, you can't stay mad for long, not at him.

★ iwaizumi raises a brow when he notices your reaction to him pointing out that you can't see past your stomach to your feet anymore. he says it as a passing, joking comment, but he can tell he's hurt your feelings and immediately pulls you into his arms, rightfully choosing not to mention the fact that your belly causes a little space between your bodies. "you're perfect the way you are, sweetheart, big belly and all." the last comment earns him a playful punch, but he laughs it off with a kiss on your forehead.

★ kuroo's eyes have never widened and his smirk has never dropped so fast in his life. he could literally see his life flash before his eyes and his heart drop to his stomach at the hurt look in your eyes. "oh no, kitten you know i didn't mean it like that––" he's catching up to you before you can turn around and walk away, putting a hand on your cheek to hold your gaze and reassure you. "you're beautiful, you know that." his smirk tentatively makes it's way back to his face, "i know i'm a dumbass but i'm not that much of a dumbass that i'd be rude to you like that." then he'd give you puppy dog eyes and a playful pout, "forgive me?" you hate to say it, but you do. you always do.

LEAVE A TIP <3 (if you’d like)

[besamehyuka]

Punish Me

Pairing: Hard Dom! HueningKai x FEM! Chubby! Reader

Warning: A LOT OF KINKY STUFFFFFFF!!! HAIR PULLING, THROAT FUCKING, CUM SWALLOWING, ORGASM DENIAL, JEALOUSY.

Words: I'd say some...

"Punish me...." You whispered grabbing into HueningKai's collar, pushing him closer to you, his toned body pressed right against your thick one, to the point where it made you see stars.

He chuckled quickly pecking your lips before, looking back down at you. His dark orbs took one glance around your body and you knew he wanted to do just as you said.

"I've been bad.." You whispered stepping on your tippy toes whispering in his ear as you lightly bit it, causing him to shiver.

Every ounce of you body wanted him to take you right here, right now. And from the looks of it, Kai wanted to do that exact thing.

"I've noticed it too." He whispered silently, closing the space once again taking your breast in his hands, squeezing it, teasing you like he'd wanted to for so long.

"Sitting on Beomgyu's lap... Then having the nerve to grind on him? Hmm?" HueningKai stated, turning you around, so that your chest hit the glass window.

If anyone from below were to look up they'd for sure get the sight of a lifetime.

"Bad bitches don't get to cum." He whispered biting your shoulder as you moaned, arching your back as he pushed it back down, grabbing your wrists with his two fairly large hands, be thrusted into you harsh.

The feeling was so good, you swore you'd be happy if you'd die, right here. You moaned as he didn't stop his harsh thrusts, one hand leaving your wrists only to make it's way to your throat, squeezing, cutting off the oxygen as his thrusts never let up.

"Babe.... I'm... I'm.... I'm...." He felt you clench, knowing you were close and chuckled before pulling out, causing you to whine, you turned around to look at him and protest.

"Hyuka.."

You were cut off as he pushed you to your knees, chuckling as your face was met with a light slap with his cock.

"You look so good baby..... Gonna take my dick down your throat, hmm?" He asked lovingly stroking your cheek before you moaned.

"You deserve this, you slut. You want Beomgyu to join in too hmm?" He joked thrusting his hard dick deep into your throat. You struggled to breathe for a second and he chuckled at your expression.

"Want me to stop?"

"No... No... No! Please! Want Hyuka to cum in my mouth."

HueningKai tilted his head slightly. "What was my name?"

You looked back up at him, drool all over your mouth as you swallowed. "I want Master's cum in my mouth... Please...."

He chuckled. "That's better... I'll give you exactly what you want, my little slut." He stated, fucking into your mouth, your hands squeezing his thighs as you felt him twitch, his girth hurting your throat with a pleasure that no one else could give you.

"You love dicks don't you?" He chuckled, throwing his head back, growling animalisticaly before shooting his thick load into your mouth.

He smirked watching you swallow around him. He pulled himself out of you, patting your head softly. "Maybe I should just let Beomgyu have you. You'd like that?"

"NO!! IM YOUR'S!!" You yelped, clutching onto his ankle as he nodded.

"Damn right you are, open your mouth." He commanded and you happily obliged.

He smirked before spitting into your mouth smirking down at you in the most sexiest, yet intimate way possible. "Let's go home, I'll make sure to make you cum until you can't anymore."

You looked back up at him blinking rapidly before he pulled you up, pulling you into a deep passionate kiss.

"Unless you want Beomgyu to see who you really belong to.."

[chocolatte-and-despair]

Companions reacting: Them proposing to Sole, but being rejected.

Cait

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?" * Cait would be furious. But not at you. At herself. For not being good enough. Of course. Of course, you wouldn't want her. It's a miracle you're even dating her now. * If you wouldn't support her through this moment, she might even go as far as to replase into her drug abuse. She doesn't want to feel this pain anymore. * Things will never go back to how it was, but you can try and help Cait heal herself back up, again.

Curie

"Oh, but why, madam?" * Curie is truly hurt, but she wishes to sit down, understand the situation and not overreact. Emotions are a new thing for her, and perhaps she did something wrong? * Curie would have a hard time understanding any excuse you might give her, but she will respect you and won't push for marriage anymore. * Things will get back to normal, to the most part, with Curie sometimes being a little bit more careful with her actions.

Danse

"I... Of course..." * Of course, how could you ever come to love a machine? Danse would blame himself for not being human. Not being good enough. For even daring to think you could want to marry him. * Danse would become more sensitive after this. He fears you will leave. If he wakes up with you not by his side, he will always assume the worse without a second thought. * Danse has always been an insecure man and your rejection has made things so much worse. You both need to have a serious conversation.

Deacon

"Ahaha! You fell for it!" * Deacon would act like it all was a joke, but was it? Well, he wasn't all that sure himself. He has a lot of trauma. And he wasn't sure he was ready to jump back into marriage. * Deacon would become to think more seriously about this relationship and what his future plans are. Can he even be with you anymore? * He would end up breaking up with you, after realizing that this was a silly think in the first place. He needs to let you go, so you could find true happiness.

Hancock

"Ehehe... Just kidding, sunshine!" * Hancock is heartbroken. But he pushes that to the side and hides it all behind a smile, as you both go back to your daily routines. The true pain happens when he's finally alone. * Hancock gets so damn high, he almost dies. See, he overthinks a lot of things. And your rejection is one of them. Did you not love him anymore? Was he lacking something? What was wrong? He... He could change! * Hancock would become more desperate after this. More.. Sensitive. Jealous. Possessive. He feels like anything could take you away from him.

Maccready

"Oh, thank gosh..." * To be honest, he wasn't ready either. He loves you so damn much, but he isn't ready to get married again and possibly lose you too. But he was afraid of losing you if he didn't offer to marry you. * You both would need to sit down and honestly talk about your expectations for this relationships. It's something that will benefit you two very much. * Things will get much better after this point, and the two of you will be a lot more comfortable around each other.

Valentine

"Don't feel pressured, doll." * Nick is very understanding. He knows that you had went through truly a lot, and he won't push you or ask you again until you show signs of being ready. * Nick just wants to be with you. Marriage isn't something he needs. He only needs you, so don't you go and disappear on him, alright? * Things won't change after that point and they will return to how they where before.

Piper

"Are you serious, Blue?!" * Piper would be a mixture of pissed off and angry. After all you both went through. After all that you two experienced. After all she sacrificed for you, you are rejecting her? You have no right! * Piper would be more than pissed off and this would lead to you both having a break as Piper just needs some time to calm down. She can't look at you. * Things won't ever go back to how they where before, but if you both put in the effort, things can slowly get better.

Preston

"Oh... Did I do something wrong?" * Preston saw you as someone wonderful. Someone who both loved him and the commonwealth. Your rejection would be like you telling him that he was doing something wrong. * He would beg you not to break up with him. He desperately wants you to be with him. You're the reason he's dreams are coming true. * From that point on, he becomes more insecure about everything he does, afraid that anything might make you run away from him.

X6-88

"Understood." * X6 wouldn't push any more after that. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel a little bit unhappy, but he pushed those feelings down as much as possible. * This wouldn't lead to any change in your relationship, as things would go back to how they where before and he would never talk about the proposal. * X6 will never ask you again, either. He understood that you don't want you, and he isn't going to do something that is not affective. He only offered because he wanted to take your partner's place.

Old Longfellow

"Shoulda known. Welp, you know where to find me." * It was already too good to be true for him that you wanted to be with an old man like him when he had asked you to be his partner. Why was he pushing his luck? * Longfellow would wonder if maybe he should let you go. You're young. You should be enjoying life, not spending time with someone who could drop dead any day. * This would end up with him breaking up with you and telling you that it's best that you both part ways.

Gage

"Sorry boss, overstepping my boundaries, right?" * To say the least, Gage would be hurt. I mean, he thought that the two of you were close. That you both loved each other. He knew about your past but he thought that for him, you would get over it, you know? * This would lead to him wondering if he was just a toy to you. I mean, do you really love him or are you toying with him? Does he even mean anything to you? * If you don't clear the misunderstanding up fast enough, he might start distancing himself and eventually breaking up with you.

[newtonsheffield]

I have no doubt that you will be able to salvage an HEA for "Through the Wire"... but, boy oh boy, are your snippets giving me anxiety cuz Anthony's life seems to be in absolute shambles after he fucks up with Kate. Like, it's to the point where I am morbidly happy that the accident happened (though I'm obviously glad it wasn't fatal) because I truly don't know how long Anthony would go on living if he lost Kate (which he did) and his family (some of which he did).

Oooof I'm not going to lie to you: Anthony's life hasn't been good since Kate left.

He knew when he broke up with her that he'd never love anyone else, and he also knew that he seemed to be the kind of person that clung to grief, while others slowly let it go. It sat with him forever, slowly tearing tiny pieces off him until he was red raw and bleeding all over the carpet.

He couldn't bring himself to change anything that she had left, though edwina had come and taken most of her things, occasionally tossing him a snide Is this Kate's?! when she couldn't be sure. But he couldn't touch anything else. Left everything just the way it had been. He'd left her shampoo and conditioner in the shower, kept using it actually, so it felt like she was still there. So her pillow still smelled a little bit like her.

He came home from work, sat at the kitchen counter and stared into space mostly, his fingers drumming occasionally on the tabletop. Then he'd slowly, even though he knew how wrong it was, go back through Kate's social media, looking at the pictures of them together, their lips brushing, their fingers intertwined. He watched the videos of her, perched on his back as he piggy backed her around on holiday, her chin perched on his head. and he can almost feel it, the love she felt for him, still in the room, still pressed against his chest. Until one day he can't see her profile anymore.

He gets new bobby pins, new hair ties and leaves them in the dresser in the bathroom, keeps buying the brand of orange juice Kate liked even though he never drinks it. He barely drinks anything these days. Barely eats. Properly grows out his beard, and eventually stops caring for himself at all.

Even when his mother stands in front of him and basically begs him, begs him to just try he can't. Or won't.

"Anthony, this is hurting me. Seeing you like this is hurting me, do you understand that?"

And it stings at his chest, of course it does. Cuts him open again until there's nothing left.

But still, he just stares at the wall. Where the picture she took of him hangs.

"So stop looking then."

He sits there, all night, with his fist around the necklace she'd ripped off her neck the night she'd left, thrown it at him while she screamed.

I hate you, Anthony. I fucking hate you!

The word scrawled in cursive that had been a joke between them, a joke when he'd given it to her if he was honest. Two months ago at Valentine's day.

Wifey

But Kate had laughed, putting it around her neck before she'd disappeared into the bathroom, returning stripped down to black lace, and the way she'd moved above him with that necklace hanging around her neck would be branded in his mind forever.

She'd never taken it off again.

And every moment lived in his mind, torturing him forever. Right up until his car gets hit, rolling across the street until he's hanging upside down, pain shooting through his body his last words before he closes his eyes

You deserve this

And Finally, he knows peace.

[prttydolls]

𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡 ༄ 𝐃.𝐦

Summary : Draco had been ashamed to be seen with you in public, only a matter of time you breakup with him.

Warning : toxic relationship, manipulation, draco being a—hole.

“Go away y/n, can't you see I'm busy? ”

Your stubborn boyfriend didn't want to see you, because he was hanging out with his “friends” by that Astoria, and pansy. Sluts who just want get fucking railed by him. You don't know why you were still with him, every fight would always go to sex. Fight, and makeup sex the pattern repeats itself.

He'd always come up with some dumb excuse to not go on a date with you, he says he's too tired. Too tired fucking girls. At the start of your relationship it was fine, 5th year was probably the best year for you. But as 6th year went downhill fast, he started seeing other girls and purposesly let them leave their panties, bras, and shirts all over his dorm. It disgusted you.

“y/n/n, you seriously need to leave him! He's no good.” cho your best friend started, “i can't I love him too much cho.” you responded with a frown plastered onto your face. “uh oh.. Look” hanah pointed at the two couple eating eachothers faces. You turned to look, your heart clenched. “it's fine.. He dosent mean it.”

And thats your own excuse, "he dosent mean it." but when reality he does. He already fell out of love with you, fucking girls was probably now his only thing on his mind. Not his girlfriend.

“you have to break up with him now, any time he could even get a girl pregnant!” cho demanded. “look y/n your like a sister to me, I don't want you to suffer!”

“soon.”

——

Flashback:

“hey love!” you greeted ruffling his blonde hair, “uck.. Y/n?! What do you want! And why did you ruined my hair?!” he Screamed, his best mates looked at you, you felt so embarrassed. “uhm, I was just gonna tell you that are we still going on the date?”

Draco looked at you as if you were telling a joke. “Hah! You wish, I'm busy right now. Go bug someone else.” did he seriously forgot the date he planned, all those weeks? His friends looked sorry for you, your mood quickly changed after he Screamed and laughed. “oh okay.” and you left sobbing.

Later in the evening, he knocked onto your dorm. “babe let me in.” you stood up just wanted to sleep and get out of your misery, “what.”

“I'm sorry, here your favorite.” he handed a piece of bitten chocolate, he seemed rushed. “oh uhm..” you were cut off with his lips slamming onto yours, “let me make it up to you yeah?” by that he just wanted to fuck you. He didn't even let you finish.

“making it up to you” is just “i want to use your body.” it's disgusting.

——

You planned breaking up with him today, not tommorow or any day. You had enough with his bullshit, your heart, your body can't even take it anymore. It felt like you were so fragile just to see what next he would do. Once you arrived to his dorm banging, skin slapping, moans.

“oh— draco I'm so close!”

“cum fʼme pans!”

Oh so he let's her finish but his own girlfriend can't?! Enough is enough. You opened the door with the huge vicious scowl onto your face, you saw pansy on top of draco sweating like some dog. Tears welled up your eyes.

“Draco what the fuck!”

“Y/n— it isn't what it looked like!” he pushed pansy and signalled her to leave, which she obeyed. Once pansy left you started “oh yeah? I've known for months that you've been fucking girls draco, you think I'm that dumb?!” you barked loudly. “W-what you knew?..” he acted as if you were kidding.

“Yes, and I think we should..”

“y/n please..” draco pleaded, holding your hands, tears welled up his grey orbs. “we should break up, it hurts seeing you with other girls, and you lying.” you pushed his arm away. “darling, I'm sorry please let me make it up to you.”

“No! You won't.” “you always make it up to me, when really you use my body for your own fucking pleasure!” you raise your hands in the air dramatically, as if your acting. “all I ever wanted this year was for you to atleast spend time with me! Stop fucking girls, stop drinking.”

“it really hurts yknow.. I miss my old draco, the draco who asked me to the ball. The one who helped me during my hardest time. The one who gave me this.” you showed him the promise ring he gave you years back. Dracos eyes widened, his lover breaking up with him.

“i can't believe I thought I was the next Mrs. Malfoy” you let out a hoarse humourless laughter, your voice sounded so broken, Probably from the screaming too. “but this is reality.” you placed the ring harshly onto his palm. “B-but y/n! Please I need you! I can't live with out you” he begged with tears onto his eyes.

“Tch, goodbye draco thanks for wasting all of my time.”

——

A/n: Hope this isn't shitty 🤞😕

[whale-minmin]

hii! I really like your yandere enhypen content! Could you maybe do a reaction to when the reader went numb? Like they dont have any emotion left, just numb?

Thank you in advance!!❤️❤️

ENHYPEN reaction to S/O going numb

Genre : yandere, angst

tw : strong language, abuse, toxic relationships, becoming emotionless/numb

Jungwon :

· He hates it. You don’t respond to him, in fact, you don’t do anything- You stare at the wall for hours without a single movement. You look like you’re drained of every single will to live

· He’s been to tens of therapists but none of them could help you

· He tried everything, every single thing to get you back. Nothing could help

· "This is my fault. This is all my goddamn fucking fault and I know it, so for god's sake, come back to me. Please.."

· He won't stop until you're you again, the happy, full of life person he fell in love with

Heeseung :

· He despises it, he feels absolutely terrible

· He knows it's his fault, it's all his fault that you've become like this. Numb and emotionless

· "Y/N, I beg you, hate me, please.. if hating me means you'll go back to being yourself, do it.."

· He won't give up until he sees you happy again. He's ready to try everything if it can make you smile like before

· He doesn't do anything else other than trying to make you happy. It's his fault you're like this and he'll make you happy again

Jay :

· He won't be able to accept it at first, 100% sure it's another one of your fucking stupid jokes

· Or maybe you're acting like this because you want him to go soft on you? Since you're such a brat, everything is possible

· But once he eventually sees you're not joking around, he'll be pissed at himself

· It may be one of the times that he'll actually may turn a little soft on you

· "Shit, I went too rough on you, didn't I? I'll change, so come back to me. I swear to damn god, I'll never hurt you again.."

Jake :

· It hurts him. It hurts him so damn much, especially when he knows it's only because of him

· He'll get you a therapist, friends, he's even ready to risk it all and give you complete freedom

· If it means he can see you happy again, it's worth it

· "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have met someone as horrible as me.. You could be living an amazing life right now, but you had to met someone so selfish.."

· He won't be able to look you in the eyes anymore, the once happy and lively eyes he loved are now gray and lost of all hope

Sunghoon :

· If only he could reverse it. If only he could turn back time and treat you better

· You would be smiling right now, not laying in bed all day without any signs of life

· He hates himself. He absolutely despises himself for making you like this, but now it's too late

· He'll do everything he can to make you return to normal, even if it takes years

· "I love you.. I love you so much. Why does this hurt so much..?"

Sunoo :

· He can't look at you without wanting to cry his eyes out, it's all his fault

· He's absolutely helpless. He never wanted for you to end up like this

· He'll be by your side all the time, trying to help you, do something, anything

· He's been to so many therapists, but every single one gave up on you

· "Why am I even trying anymore? This is pointless.. everything is pointless. I'm so sorry, Y/N.."

Ni-Ki :

· At first, he'll still try to pretend he doesn't care at all, that it doesn't move him even a bit

· But he'll quickly break, he absolutely hates it, he wants you back

· "I'm weak, I'm so weak, I can't live without you.. please, smile again.."

· He'll show his other side to you, he'll cry, he'll cling to you, he'll expose all of his weak points

· He just wants you to become normal again. He can stop being selfish, he'll do anything

❀❀❀❀❀ a/n ❀❀❀❀❀

Thank you for requesting! I hope you like it <33

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

None of the gifs are mine!

Taglist ;

@atiny-chocolate-chip @lmaoskz

[quackiseok]

— strawberry kisses

feral boys x gn! reader || headcanon

genre : fluff

warnings : swearing

summary : their reaction to you giving them a kiss on the cheek for the first time!

a/n : hi hi! this is my first fic, i hope you like it 🥺 and i'm so sorry if there's any mistake, i'll try fixing them asap!

song to listen to while reading :

; DREAM

this man right here is VERY careful with you

always asking for consent before any physical contact with you (consent is always the key!)

he was so happy when you said that you were fine with cuddles and hugs with him! be ready for tight back hugs from him 'cause he loves putting his head on the crook of your neck >:)

but kisses... you were a bit shy about it since you were new to this type of relationship and you wanted to learn a bit first,

you told him about wanting to take things slowly and get used to it first, and of course he understands! dream will 100% respect your boundaries

he will wait patiently until you're comfortable enough with him because he loves you so much and he wants you to see him as a safe, comfort place :)

then one day when the two of you were baking cookies for valentines day, dream jokingly asked you to kiss him on the cheek as a thank you for helping you with the cookies

i mean, it's almost valentines anyways. a small, innocent kiss wouldn't hurt right? ö

you just giggled and gently leaned your face closer to his cheek, your fingers softly bringing his chin closer to you

you gently placed a kiss on his cheek, then quickly turning away from him with a wide smile

congratulations, you have successfully broke dream

man would be frozen on the place for a full minute, trying to process what just happened and is this real or not (because if it's not real he'd cry on the floor)

expect him to cling on you and not letting you go for the next few hours, calling you with sweet names like baby, hun, etc. for no reason and just be all lovey dovey with you ♡

he would secretly mark the date on his phone's calendar just for this special day where you kissed him for the first time HHAHSJDKSKD

if you were comfortable, he would offer you a kiss on your cheek to return the favor 🥺

and if you said yes, AAAAAAAA he would be so fucking happy, his serotonin level would just go through the roof like 📈📈

and ofc, he would happily give you a sweet kiss on your cheek! ( ˙ᵕ˙ )♡

; GEORGE

george is definitely very shy with you at first

he's VERY careful around you and treat you with so much care 🥺

( but once the two of you have gotten pretty used to each other, you guys bully each other 24/7 💀💀 (jokingly ofc!) )

at first, you thought george didn't like physical affections like kisses, hugs, etc.

boy you were wrong

this cat boy secretly LOVES physical affections from you, but he just hides it from you! and of couse, you love giving them to him too :)

but you were a little bit shy about kisses, and same goes to him. two shy cuties !!

if he was being honest : he wants to squish your cheeks and shower you with kisses, but he respects your boundaries and will wait until you're ready to take a step further! (( and he's really shy, he would also need time to get the courage to do it :D ))

then one day george has just finished recording for minecraft manhunt and boy, that block game can actually make you tired

the moment he's done with the recording, he immediately rushed to the bed and plop himself next to you

you would ask him things like how did the recording went, etc. and he'll answer you while letting you play with his soft hair 🥺

george was feeling a little playful, so he joked and asked you to give him a kiss on the cheek to recharge his energy

you looked at him with your cheeks slightly reddened. george has been working hard lately anyways, he deserves a gift, right?

you slowly bought your face closer to his cheek and planted a quick kiss on his cheek before looking away then melt into a puddle

georgenotfound who? i only know georgenotworking

his eyes would be widened, face red, and he would just sit there with his palm on the cheek where you planted the kiss on

it's been 3 minutes and his face is still red, huge grin on his face while hugging you tightly

he won't even try to hide the fact that he loves being affectionate with you anymore

it's the first time george has ever been clingy with you and you're living for it tbh 🥺

he'd ask you if you want a kiss too, in such a shy manner like "i can... give you... a kiss too... if you want... 👉👈"

if you say yes ? MMMMMMMMMM the two of you melt into a puddle together <33

he'll give you a quick but sweet kiss on your cheek with his face redder than before (,,．．„ )

; SAPNAP

man seems like he would fight you no matter what size you are

but in reality? sapnap's the sweetest and the clingiest (in a positive way, ofc!) man you've ever been with and you're so into this

he LOVES being affectionate and clingy with you, in fact he does it all the time. it's just how he is with you :)

he also LOVES giving you affection. he doesn't care about who's giving and who's receiving tbh, he just loves being around you in general 👉👈

you love his affection and giving him affection too, of course!! but you were a bit shy since this was your first romantic relationship with someone and kissing was a new thing to you

sapnap would tease you for being so shy around him, endlessly flirting with you just to see you all flustered, because in his eyes? you're so fucking adorable and that's a fact. ♡

despite him being all playful and flirty with you, he respects your boundaries and will 100% wait until you're ready!

of course he wants kiss you right on the spot but he can wait patiently, just for you <3

then one day, he was playfully flirting with you as usual

and he jokingly said "hey y/n, i think i deserve a kiss on the cheek for being cute!" well, you couldn't disagree with what he just said 👀

so you put on a large grin and placed a kiss on his cheek, immediately turning red afterwards

sapnap's the new pogchamp emote now

he would be so surprised and just turn into a ball of absolute joy

he'd immediately scoop you closer to him, hugging you tightly while giggling and just— shower you with lots of love 🥺

and trust me, he won't let go of you unless it's emergency or if you were uncomfortable

but if you were fine with it? this man will hold you like his life depends on it

he would also give you kisses on your cheek / the top of your head if you were comfortable enough :)

and if you did allowed him to kiss you? he'll immediately shower you with kisses and calling you his in between the kisses, like "you're mine, mine, mine" 👉👈

; QUACKITY

alex, he's such a flirty mf 😳

endlessly teasing you and flirting with you just to see you being flustered, just like sapnap

he'd call you with sweet spanish nicknames like mi amor, hermosa, etc. and you find them cute, honestly 🥺

he's really clingy with you (in a good way!) and always hugs you whenever he sees you. it's almost like an instinct to him when he sees you :) but you don't mind since you're living for his warm hugs and cuddles ♡

he LOVES the way you melt under his hugs, and honestly? he wants to cover your whole face with kisses but he knew you were new into dating and want to take things slowly, so he respects your boundaries! :))

one day, he was in a discord call with his friends and they were endlessly teasing him; which leads him to fake crying as a joke and asked you to give him a kiss on the cheek to make him stop crying

man, alex is so fucking adorable and you thought that he deserves a reward for being such a cutie

so you giggled and moved closer to him, slightly bending down to get to his level and placed a kiss on his cheek before turning away with a large grin on your face.

you know that one time karl jokingly leaned in to kiss alex? yeah, he has the exact same expression now

this man would stare blankly at you, his cheeks slightly red but then a few seconds later he's screaming in absolute joy

his friends would be so confused, asking him if he was alright but instead of answering them, he mutes the call and immediately clings his arms around your neck

"mi amor, you should do that more often if you're okay with it ;)"

100% endlessly flirting with you while hugging you tightly, melting you into a puddle ( bonus point if you knew spanish, cause he'd say cheesy pick up lines in spanish for you ;) )

and just like sapnap, he'd shower you with sweet kisses on your face if you were fine with it!

and if you were okay with him kissing you? man... you know that one vine where a kid is crying because of how cute her puppy is? yeah that's alex quackity @ your existence

he'd just be so happy and shower you with kisses, praising you, telling you how adorable you are, and telling you that you're his and he loves you so fucking much 🥺

; KARLJACOBS

karl jacobs is the definition of wholesome itself

he's literally the sweetest human being you've ever met, you can almost taste cotton candies when you're with him

he's really affectionate and loving towards you, always praising you whenever he's hugging you and holding you close to him! and of course, we can't forget the sweet nicknames he have for you. he just loves giving you so much affection, and you're in for it! 🥺

don't forget his playful side too! he would always joke around with you and maybe be flirty when he's feeling extra playful :) he can go from sending you wholesome memes to weird cursed images, no in between

but you were a little bit shy since you were new in this type of relationship. you told karl that you wanted to learn more first before jumping into more romantic gestures, including kisses.

of course this boy would go "okay! :)" and shower you with gestures you're comfortable with instead (hugs, cuddles, etc.) he wants you to feel comfortable around him, so he respects your boundaries! ♡

then one day when the two of you were cuddling on the couch while watching adventure time, karl jokingly asked what if you gave him a kiss on the cheek like marceline did to bubblegum

and you thought karl has been so sweet with you this whole time. you gotta return the favor to him, right?

so you just displayed a shy smile, leaning closer to him and gave him a small kiss on the cheek before you slowly melt in his arms

his eyes widened and he just wants to scream the way puppycat did

he'd immediately bring you closer to his body and mutter out uncountable i love you's, calling you perfect, sweet, etc. just praising you and being all giggly with you. of course he would be so giggly, you just gave him a kiss!!! 🥺👉👈

he would LOVE to return the favor to you, if you're fine with it!

and if you said yes? places such a sweet kiss on your face and just admire you with his starry eyes 🥺

JNNGGHHH SO MUCH SEROTONIN THIS RELATIONSHIP IS JUST 50% WHOLESOME AND 50% WHOLESOME BUT IN RED

[willowser]

pleased to meet you—

dabi x reader

wc: 6.5k+

warnings: hurt/comfort, explicit language, implied/referenced drug abuse, implied/referenced suicide attempt(s), suicidal ideation, canon divergent, implied/referenced sexual abuse, heavy mentions of severe mental illness, touya needs a goddamn hug, and some therapy, eventual smut, post paranormal liberation war arc, AU

—hope you guess my name

CHAPTER 1/?

Please draw a picture to show how you feel about being here today:

Gotta be fucking kidding.

If the world were a perfect little cage, Touya might’ve been better at art. The new pack of unopened markers that are taunting him from the edge of the table: if only he had the talent to illustrate himself burning down to his bones, the ability to show a sack of meat rotting in a field, turning green and growing putrid with time. Enji without a face; an azure flame smothered; headless Shouto; Matsui, the smug fucking bastard, with his heart on a platter.

Bon appétit, fuckhead, Touya would say, it’s important to open up.

But, he’s not supposed to be like that anymore, not with all the medication he's on. And he's not that good at drawing, anyway, so he just stares at the smiley faces looking back at him. There are eight in total on the print-out, two in every corner, encouraging him to create more to join their little party. Touya thinks that in this moment, he would rather die than draw a stupid fucking smiley face, anything, really, that would somehow make him a willing participant to this crackpot evaluation.

(Touya thinks that in this moment he’s being awfully taxing, but he’s a Todoroki after all, and the men in his family tend to have a flair for the dramatic.)

Convenient, that blue is missing from the pack of primary colors. Red, too. In the back of his mind he thinks, what a goddamn psycho, can't even stand to look at the color of blood anymore after all the shedding of it he's done. At one point in time, he could have bathed in it, probably did after a decent night out, but now—now it just makes his scabs itch. Makes his wounds fester. What a joke.

Touya glances up from the page and at the fucking dolt, the absolute tool with the PhD sitting like a badge of honor on his wall. Congratulations, people probably say, you've come so far.

Touya says, "gotta be fucking kidding."

Matsui makes the face of an ugly fish, shrugging as if he can agree it's stupid as fuck to do this exercise, as if he isn't the one that pulled the paper packet from his drawer the minute Touya walked through the door. Fingers laced, ever the patient saint—he just wants to be friends, you know? Pals. That’s why Touya is in here, is at home and not in the goddamn nut house, because of his buddy Hayate.

"I think illustration could be very helpful for you."

Matsui Hayate—thirty-four, MA in psychology and social care, real proud of himself, has great parents, single, small guy. So far, he's the youngest person Touya's talked to, which is probably the whole point, to see if they can bond or whatever—and Touya is the oldest patient Matsui has ever counseled.

Because this program is designed for fucking kids.

The staples in his face pinch when he grins but he does it anyway, since it adds to his charm and all. The pages slap against each other as he waves the packet around, showing off all the negative space. “C’mon, it ain’t that hard to tell this is the inside of my cell, is it?” Matsui is a champ at not rising to any bait, which is what makes him the best, worthy in Enji’s eyes. “You wound me, really wound me.”

“Would you like to talk about Tartarus?”

In the movies, when triggering words are used, the subtitles do something like (%^#^$&%&); in a perfect little cage, Touya would just hear a bunch of static or beeping or noises that soften the blow a little, but Matsui thinks that shying away from these subjects will only “make his symptoms worse”. In a cage like this, which isn’t so much a cage as it is a hand around his throat, Touya doesn’t hear the echo of classical music or the twinkling of fairies or whatever the fuck; he hears the sound of rushing water, can picture it when it comes out of the hose, when it forces him into the corner of the room. Can feel it when it tears at his naked skin, the skin that’s still skin, the parts of Dabi that are still Touya.

(In this moment, he thinks he would rather die than be ripped open again. Probed. Assessed. In this moment, he thinks he would rather take his own heart out himself.)

People probably tell Matsui, you're doing so well for yourself. You're amazing at what you do.

"This event is causing me to feel," Touya squints down at the page; something else of Enji that is trapped within him: a shit eyesight, "very afraid, upset, and helpless."

"It's good that you're able to recognize that, Touya. Why don't you draw what that looks like to you, on that paper there?"

People probably say, I'm so proud of who you've become, Hayate.

They probably tell him, your parents must be so happy.

Touya takes the brown marker—because there isn't a black either—and draws a big X in the middle of the page.

—

3. Recreate Relationships

Positive social experiences are imperative for reintegration to be successful, and these can be provided by individuals that will offer support, advice, and the friendship you may need to move forward in life.

Touya isn't allowed to walk down the block without Fuyumi.

In the beginning, he thought this would be fine because he had no interest in going down the block, up the block, or even leaving the house, really. In ten years, when they finally came into the musty, forgotten sector that is his childhood bedroom, he wanted them to find him under the desk, a skeleton with a middle finger raised. A fuck you from the grave; it’s what they all deserve. All of them.

But it’s turning out to be not fine because Fuyumi likes to do things. Together.

"We used to eat dinner at a place just like this! Don't you remember? They had a waterfall in the corner, just like this one!"

No, he doesn't remember.

Touya tells her, "no, I don't remember," and she presses her pout into the rim of her glass so he doesn’t see—but he does, he always does. Natsuo doesn’t say anything, only copies her frown emphatically, swiveling his head around to show off the roll of his eyes.

Sometimes Natsuo tries too hard to be an asshole, as if Touya will appreciate it and slap him on the back and say, you get it, you get why this shit sucks! You, little brother, totally, for sure get why things went south and why I had to try and murder our dad. I am so relieved to be a captive in your presence.

It never works out that way, though, and Fuyumi doesn’t ever say anything because she knows he’s just trying too hard. Coping, or something, that’s what Matsui says.

Fuyumi has ordered some cherry-floral-espresso-thing, one she keeps trying to give Touya a drink of, probably because he looks like shit even though she won’t say that, but he wants to order a beer. Or any alcohol, really, since it’s on the menu and just within his reach. It churns the acid in his stomach, revives his addictions like a roach that can’t be killed, even when you cut the head off—and Touya thought he’d cut the head off, that (%#@&*#!*) had cut the head off, but the little beasts are still there.

Reminding him of all the things he could be, with just a sip. Reminding him of all the things he’s been.

Touya doesn't drink anymore, not with all the medication he's on—and because he's been locked up for three years. Sober by force, not by choice, but it doesn't matter because he's different now. Touya is better now.

Touya doesn't do that anymore.

(Natsuo says, "cut it out, Yumi, he doesn't want any of your espresso crap," and Fuyumi still doesn't say anything, only presses her lips down into a thin line and shrugs like she doesn't mind; Touya really, really wants a hard drink. Or to blow his brains out. Either would work.)

There's yogurt from a doughnut in the corner of Natsu's mouth and Touya tells him it looks like cum, which turns his little brother's face red, which makes Touya laugh for the first time in a few days. Not a real laugh, not the kind that lights him up from the inside or makes him feel like these strangers mean anything to him, but enough that it placates them—for now. His sister turns her nose up at the joke (a joke, goddamn), but she eyes him all the same, that way she always does, that little triangle.

Left eye, right eye, chin, left eye. Observing him. Searching through all the ugliness to find someone she recognizes, someone that’s not a stranger to her, either. Touya wants to say, he's dead, Yumi, let it fucking go. Release me.

But he doesn't, just tapers off his laugh and then plays with a loose string from his sweatshirt, the same one he’s been wearing all week.

They're not even supposed to be here, because he isn't allowed to be within 300 feet of alcohol but Natsuo says, “this ain’t a bar”, in that tone, that kind of voice that tells everyone he doesn't care because he's an asshole, too, just like his brother. The kind that tells Touya they aren’t strangers.

This ain't a bar, and you're here Fuyumi, so what do we have to be worried about?

The royal douchebags two tables down keep nudging each other and nodding their heads toward Touya, probably asking each other if he's the guy, you know, the one that…? And the school girls that left when he'd walked in, they're wondering it, too. And the waitress that looks at his face too long and the couple walking by the window. They're all wondering, can’t believe it, rethinking their faith in the justice system because isn’t he the guy that…?

But what does Touya have to be worried about anyway, with his sister-slash-guardian here beside him.

"You should order something, Touya," she says, crossing her arms on the front of the table and smiling at him. "My treat." As if that's supposed to persuade him and not make him fucking sick.

The staples pinch again, but it's okay, because of the charm. "Y'know, I used to scrape mold off the bread I found in the dumpster."

Natsuo puts his doughnut down and looks up and away, as if whatever sports thing on the television in the corner is suddenly interesting (maybe it is, maybe Natsu likes that kind of shit, Touya wouldn't fucking know), and his sister just stares because she doesn't get it. She doesn't hide her frown this time, either.

"s'good, you should try it, Yumi."

There's a wanted poster outside the door of this place, pasted onto the red brick walls, this portrait of a blonde girl and her two little buns. Touya noticed it the second he rounded the corner.

"Probably could find some out back, if you wanted."

Maybe that's why he's in such a bad mood.

Maybe it's that, and maybe it's because he's a prisoner in his own skin now. Always was, really, but now he and Dabi have been lumped into the same meat husk, forced to fight it out day-by-day just so Touya isn't in a straight jacket for the rest of his life.

"I know this area pretty well, actually, think I got the shit kicked out of me two streets that way."

"Touya."

Matsui says not to dwell on that stuff, or talk about it with his family. Families are triggers, he says, for people who have suffered from this kind of trauma. So close to home, robbed of a safe space.

Touya is the first to break eye contact. Natsuo doesn't say anything, just stares at the television and furrows his eyebrows, because he's still just a kid that doesn't fucking get it, or listen. And Fuyumi doesn't want this, want Touya, as bad as she thinks she does; she doesn't say anything, either.

Matsui says Touya has a problem accepting help, even with all the medication. Even though he's better now. Maybe he’s in a bad mood because that makes sense—because Touya never needed their fucking help anyway—and he’d rather color a little rainbow in his workbook than admit his psychiatrist is right. The air at the table settles and the urge to disturb it rushes like the blood in his ears, but he just lets Natsuo order him a doughnut, too.

The guys two tables down start squaring their shoulders and shaking their heads, saying something about if he fucking tries it, dude, I'll take him out, as if Dabi isn't a killer.

As if he hasn't turned people to goddamn ash in the alleyway and laughed about it, as if he hasn't ruined families and killed heroes and orphaned children and tried to burn his own brother alive. As if he hasn't loved every sick fucking second of it. As if he wouldn't melt their eyeballs into some kind of jelly to put on Natsu's doughnut.

Yes ma'am, I would love a to-go bag, thank you.

Touya isn't like that anymore, though, because he's on medication. Because he's better now. So he's able to tuck his chin back into his arms and ignore them—for now, at least—and count the wood grain on the table. Fuyumi notices the conversation happening and tenses her fingers around her cup in the most minute way, in the way a criminal would around a knife they were getting ready to slash, or in the way a mother would around a boiling teapot she was getting ready to pour.

Matsui says it's important Touya learns how to "chill out". Chilling out, checking in, that's what he calls it and all the details are on page 23 of his workbook. Whenever he's experiencing intense emotions, he's supposed to ground himself.

That's how you chill out, you ground yourself.

Touya can see five things: the guys looking at him, the yogurt clinging to Natsuo's bottom lip, the letterbox menu behind the counter, the beer they offer on the letterbox menu, and the waitress behind the counter, trying to pretend like she's not freaked out by him.

Touya can feel four things: the heat from the cherry-floral-thing Fuyumi is drinking, the crinkly paper under Natsuo's doughnut, the woodgrain on the table, and the illicit vibration of the phone in his pocket.

Touya can hear three things: the shitty radio station with today's greatest hits, the guys saying they'll end Dabi if he tries anything, and his sister telling Natsu to wipe his mouth.

Touya can smell two things: sugar on the pastries and his brother’s overpriced cologne.

Touya can taste one thing: ash, like always.

Chilling out, checking in. This is how you ground yourself. This is what stops Dabi from winning the fight this time and coming out of the meat husk. This is what stops Dabi from flipping the table and ruining Fuyumi's game of pretend just so he can burn all the patrons down to their bones. To their own husks, just so he can set himself free.

That, and all the medication.

—

Initially, 0.5 mg to 2 mg by mouth 2 to 3 times per day in patients with moderate symptomatology or in debilitated patients. For severe, chronic, or refractory target symptoms, initiate with 3 to 5 mg by mouth given 2 to 3 times per day.

The home security system is supposed to chime every time activity happens outside the front door, and it does. It fucking sings every fucking time and sends a live feed to Enji's phone, to Fuyumi's phone, and that little shit Shouto.

(Look at this beautiful home, it says, look at this wonderful haven you are keeping safe. Nothing can get in to hurt the ones you love, and nothing can get out either.)

Except when it's raining. Except when a car drives by.

The downpour has to be heavy, real heavy, like sheets-of-rain heavy in order to throw off the camera. In that kind of darkness, at 2:35 am, you can't see shit out there on the lawn, can only see anything at all when headlights go by, and headlights don't trigger the security system. It's a tricky little pickle: can only make a break for it in the rain, in the dark so the cameras can't pick up your shadow, and you have to move as the headlights flash without getting caught in them, or else it fucking chimes.

And Dabi ain't been caught yet.

Not that he's been doing this all that long, heading back out into the streets, two or three times maybe. Touya is lucky enough to have both negative and positive symptoms of his "condition", and that means withdrawal and flattening, means he doesn't want to do shit, like ever. All day long; he's lucky if he has the will to drag himself down the hall and into the kitchen just to eat some rice in order sustain his human body.

Sometimes the medication works and sometimes it makes him so anxious he has to rip out of his skin at 2:36 in the morning, in the dark, in the rain, just so he can breathe.

That's why he's texting Giran again.

Fuyumi, bless her little heart, thinks that Touya should have some privacy. Enji vehemently disagrees, however, but no one is really surprised about that, so that's why he's not actually texting Giran himself, but some asshat-offshoot kid, one that has a friend of a friend of a friend that can find shit for Dabi to do. Ways for Dabi to earn his own money.

Dabi.

Not Touya: Dabi.

Even though he's as good as some born-quirkless loser now: Dabi.

Yeah, he hates the suppressants because they don't get rid of the fire, they just hinder it, leave it with no place to go but up into his nose and throat—but there is something about being stripped of this stupid fucking thing that has ruled his life for so long. Nobody wants him anymore because he doesn't have what they want anymore, this fucking shit he's been cursed with. The makings of his very design.

And if they do want him, they're getting Dabi, without the wildfire. They're getting Touya. And if they want Touya, well—

—here he is, in all his rain drenched, mud and grass covered glory, trying to keep a cigarette lit under a shallow overhang outside a konbini. The lighter in his hand hurts the tips of his fingers every time he strikes it, but he can’t really help that he needs it, can he? And the son of a bitch he’s meant to be meeting is late.

(Or, Touya is just early, considering he only has a limited window to escape.)

(Either way, it’s miserable.)

At least twenty minutes go by before the friend of a friend of a friend shows up, looking surprisingly dry even though the rain is coming down hard, like the concrete when the fuzz has you backed into a corner and you’ve got nowhere else to go but down to the ground, and the first thing he says to Dabi is,

“Fuck, you’re ugly.”

It’s not like he has feelings to be hurt, but it takes him off guard, is all, so he just stares for a minute before flicking the damp cigarette at him.

“You’re late,” Dabi says.

“It’s pissing rain, fuck off,” as the kid says it, little things start coming out of his face like whiskers or worms. It’s not until he picks one out that Dabi realizes they’re quills, and he flicks one at Dabi in return before gesturing to the konbini like he’s waiting for this show to get on the road. “Well?”

Dabi doesn’t have anything, especially not a weapon, not allowed to these days. Every store clerk and their grandma knows what his ugly mug looks like, and he isn’t allowed to hold even a metal fucking chopstick. “Take it away, Needles, I’m followin’ you.”

The porcupine mutters something like gotta be fucking kidding, and it fills him with enough hot anger—embarrassment—that he wishes, just for a second, that he could sear the kid into the concrete, a bloody stain under a fucking streetlight. Yeah, that would feel better than any amount of money he’s set to make for the night.

“If you’re taking this,”

Something heavy, weighted and steel, is shoved into Dabi’s hands. Something that feels like something with a trigger, with a barrel. Something that Dabi has never even held before.

“then you’re leading, so go, before you fuck this up for us.”

The konbini chimes when they step through. Even with all the rain. Even with the street lamps and headlights, it still dings! Touya wonders if a live feed is going straight to Enji’s phone, of his fuck ugly face, holding a gun and pointing it at a man that hasn’t even looked up from the book in his lap.

Dabi hopes so.

Congratulations dad, he thinks, look where all that training got me.

(Matsui once asked Touya if he thought he really was a psychopath, after hearing him use the word over and over again, and Touya said yes. Yes he thought so, because he looks like one, he can tell; the fear living deep within him has become violent, become an ulcer of anger and grief. It’s left him a tragedy, marked, ever present like the staples holding him together.)

The porcupine starts shouting loud enough that the cashier looks up from his book—something in a foreign language, with desserts across the cover—and it crashes to the floor when he sees the gun. A bag is tossed across the glass counter, for the money. A fucking cliche.

Touya thinks about the frosted cookies on the page facing the floor.

“Put your hands down! Get the fucking money, now!”

About the pink rice cakes and the sweet fish pastry.

“He’ll blow your head off, do it!”

About the poached pears, about the kind of delights he’s never known, never had the chance to. That's why Touya can't kill the cashier, who is talking rapidly in a language he doesn't know, because he can’t stop thinking about the kind of things he’s never had. Because he can’t stop looking at the picture on the counter, of the cashier and a little girl in a pink dress.

The bag isn't full yet, but the man is just crying and babbling and raising his hands above his head.

Touya thinks about a birthday cake and a lonely child. About a lonely child. About a fatherless child.

Touya doesn't know Korean, but fear transcends all languages. Can always tell when someone is pleading for their life. He’s seen them do it enough times before their skin melts off their bones and their muscles turn to soot under his boots, smoke on the wind. The worst thing about being sober is having to remember it all.

The quills sticking out of Needles’ face are what protect him from the gun when Touya spins around and launches it at his head, but the surprise of it all gives him enough time to shove the kid over and make a break for the door. It chimes, and he wonders if Fuyumi can see him sprinting through the rain on her phone, if the headlights are bringing attention to the catastrophe that is her older brother. If she’s watching him run from the ghost he’s been.

That restaurant he doesn’t remember is only two blocks down and Touya thinks it’s all Fuyumi’s fault that he dives into the cover of darkness in the alleyway behind it. There’s another wanted poster that he ignores, because he doesn’t have time to unpack all that (Matsui says something about “found family”), and there is one single light shining through the window of the back door.

It’s dim, just enough that Touya can see an idle kitchen through three thick plastic flaps at the end of the short hall. There’s enough blood pumping through his veins and ears that his eyes must be wild, a little savage, a little frenzied, and when he tugs on the door handle, it comes open.

By some rotten luck, the fucking thing comes open, and it doesn’t ding or chime.

There’s enough silence in the place that he can count the beats of his heart, every rapid one, and something like vomit builds up in his throat as he sees dirty plates in the sink, wrinkled paper wrappers, empty espresso cups. The ulcer that sours him burns, like alcohol going down, like alcohol coming back up, and his phone won’t stop vibrating in his pocket.

The worst thing about making an awful mistake is when you realize you’ve made it, when you realize it’s too late to go back and undo it. In the movies, you can rewind, you can stop the tape before it gets to the part when the love interest leaves or when the gun fires, but not in this life. Not in this little cage.

That’s what reminds Touya that he’s crazy, psycho, bat-shit: the guilt. Fuyumi’ll be upset, he thinks. She’ll be disappointed, she won’t think he deserves any more privacy because he’s fucked it all up, just like always.

Congratulations dad, Touya thinks. Fuyumi’ll be so upset.

But he doesn’t have a lot of time to dwell, for his face to puff up like a fish or for the staples in his cheeks to pinch with his smile, with his frown—because plates drop and someone gasps and Dabi has to tackle the waitress, the one who looks too long, near the bar into the dining area.

“Get off me!” She screams, frantic, even though she should be crying, even though she shouldn’t be here in the first place. “Getthefuckoffame!” Stinging, her little hands are stinging as she slaps at his face and his arms; it hurts, just like it always does when someone puts their hands on him.

“Shut up!” Dabi shouts, “Shut up! Pipe down or I’ll fucking kill you!”

One shrill scream nearly breaks all the goddamn windows in the place as she forces all her energy into her throat, to make as much noise as possible in hopes that someone will hear, some fuck in a cape that will save her stupid life, and Dabi has to take his hands from her arms and wrap them around her throat.

That’s what reminds Touya that he’s a psychopath.

It only takes one gag and then she's silent, hands flying to claw at his as her eyes go wide. Teary. Huge, like the plates she dropped when she saw him. It would only take a little more pressure, and then she’d be fucking quiet.

That’s what makes Touya realize he’s making a big mistake: the guilt.

What if he fucking kills her. Fuyumi’ll be so upset.

What if he fucking kills her and gets sent back to (&%@^#*%!) because he fucked up again, choking this waitress that looked too long at his ugly face. Wrong place, wrong time—shouldn’t have been here at 3 am, shouldn’t have been washing dishes or putting up plates—and now he’s going to ruin two lives before this is all over.

There’s a slam in the kitchen, like a door banging against the wall because someone has kicked it open so hard, and then that son of a bitch kid yells, “Where the fuck are you, you ugly bastard?”

The minute the waitress is able to breathe, she does it all heavy and ragged and Dabi—no, Touya—Touya has to clamp his hands over her mouth. Immediately, she tries to scream again and he has to get all up in her face and say, shut up, he’ll kill us, you idiot, seriously, and then she starts crying finally. There’s some more chaos in the kitchen, like that kid is pulling open cupboards and knocking over silverware looking for him, so Touya drags himself and the waitress behind a decorative wall. The one with the waterfall, which isn’t flowing because it’s 3 am.

Fuyumi’ll be so upset, he thinks, if his blood gets in the reservoir for this thing when the porcupine kills him.

"I know you're in here!"

Yeah, no shit, where else would he have gone? Touya has the urge to text Giran—or whoever is supposed to be relaying his messages to Giran—and say, wow, a real winner, Needles is.

The waitress beside him wrenches her arm out of his grasp, but doesn’t make any moves to get up, only leans away and claps her own hands over her mouth. Disgusted by him, with all the touching—he doesn't blame her.

Tables get knocked over and chairs roll; she flinches so hard that her entire body starts shaking, like a little leaf, and the thing that really, finally draws the line is that she cries without making a sound. Just staring dead-eyed at the floor, tears pouring down her face, hard, like the concrete that doesn’t kill you when you jump off the third story building. Like the binds on your hands when they throw you in an institution.

Touya knows that look, feels it.

When he stands, the staples pinch and tug, pull on a mask of falsified surprise up around his eyes and mouth. The girl still doesn't look, because she's past the point of fear, because she's envisioning her death. Trying to swallow the realization that there isn't a scenario here in which she makes it out alive; she sours, already reeking, already rotting.

"There you are," Dabi says, "Been looking for you."

"You cheap fuck!" Three quills come out of the pores on Needles' face, but they don't leave his skin yet. "I knew the minute Renzo mentioned you it would end like this, because you're worthless now."

Yeah, probably.

Dabi says, "yeah, probably," and, "your fault then, for expecting otherwise."

The waitress flinches when he takes a step forward, so he grits his teeth and stills.

"My therapist tells me it's important to take responsibility for your fuck-ups—I'm paraphrasing—so it'll be better for your mental health if you start there."

"You fucking—!" The porcupine starts to dole out another insult, about him being ugly or weak or something, but he can't make it that far before rage is shooting those quills, and a few more, out of his face.

Dabi takes five in the shoulder before he manages to dive behind an overturned table and he knows that if he waits, the kid'll advance, so he flips himself over the top and straight into the son of a bitch.

Not a great idea, in retrospect, considering the guy is made up of pins and needles, but it knocks him off guard enough that Dabi can get a few hits in. The skin of his knuckles gets ruined and the staples on his left hand become loose enough that he loses four.

How will he explain that to Fuyumi?

There’s no time to figure it out; the kid sends a wave of quills his way, getting stuck in his hair and all his gaps.

There's some instinctive side of him that laughs when he's in pain, maybe because it was all he had at one point, and he does it again, here, beneath this fuck that will probably kill him because he's worthless now. Underneath his skin, between his bones, his whole body is heating up in the way that it's meant to, the way Enji wanted, but it just builds and builds and builds. As if the edge of the cliff keeps extending, never quite letting him meet the end he’s always chasing.

Fuyumi’ll be so upset, he thinks, when they find his body at the bottom of the river in three months. If they ever find it. If they can identify him.

And then there is the sound of plates crashing and another gasp, a wet one, and another curse and the beating stops. When Touya opens his eyes—which are already swelling—the porcupine is still, looking at the decorative wall before easily dodging flying ceramic.

A ramen bowl.

A bunch of wooden spoons.

A sushi tray.

Six quills come out of his forehead as he leaps off Touya, the sound of them getting stuck in the plaster is barely audible underneath the shriek that echoes across the empty dining room.

“Hey,” Touya croaks. Another plate sails. The kid advances, fast. “I said, hey!”

The wall comes apart with a terrible snap and crunch, one that sounds too loud for this time of night, and the waitress scrambles back so fast that all her little weapons spill out of her hands. There’s a mess of black makeup across her face, like she’d tried to wipe away all the tears before facing her own doom, and Touya might have thought it was funny if she wasn’t about to die.

“You little bitch!”

Crawling across the floor and grabbing him by the leg earns Touya a kick to the face and it's—nice, almost. How comfortable the floor becomes, how much heavier his eyes get. Finally, Touya thinks. Finally. It’ll end, every last crack in his being will split open and his organs will be soot under a boot, smoke on the wind. His skin will unravel and whatever still lives, whatever it is that keeps his bones moving, will finally get the ending it should have received years ago.

Finally, Touya thinks.

The sound of screaming is most often the background noise in his dreams. Sometimes it's from a crowd of people watching on as he burns a hole through Enji's skull, sometimes it's his own while he's getting dragged away in quirk suppressing handcuffs, fighting so hard that the muscles in his arms are tearing.

Sometimes it's his mother, when she sees him for the first time in years. How putrid, how fuck ugly.

Very rarely is it from some random woman that's made herself his next victim; Dabi never sought out little girls on the street to grab, to abuse or torture. Matsui says, "the women in your family mean more to you than you might realize," and he must be right, that stupid fuck, because Touya opens his eyes to stare at the ceiling, thinking,

Fuyumi'll be so upset, if she finds out he's come back here. To this life that doesn't want him anymore, to this life he's clinging to, the shadow that has ruined him. To Dabi.

The screaming is all from the waitress, loud, bloody fucking murder, and Touya is thinking of his sister, of his mother, of how the women in his life mean more to him than he realizes, and that's why he's up and falling over the her as quills fly.

They don't hurt bad enough to kill him, but he's already bleeding and he must be getting it all over her. There’s a stabbing pain above his right eyebrow and in his top lip that has him flinching, which only makes it worse. Touya is thinking, we're going to fucking die here, me and you.

They'll think his body laying over hers is because he killed her. They'll paint him as the villain one final time.

"C'mon motherfucker," Touya leans his back against her chest and yanks one of the quills from his lip, just so it doesn't get in the way of his charm. When she gasps, he feels it, the hot breath of her panic right at his ear, and if he had any skin on the back of his neck, it might have given him goosebumps. “Fucking do it already.”

“Whatever you want, if it’s money, just take it!” The waitress sits up a little, bringing Touya with her, and her arms shoot out over his shoulders. “Please, just take it and f-fuck off!”

The porcupine steps closer and the waitress, she, her, crosses her arms just a little, resting them right under his neck. Against his skin, her skin, in the way that always hurts, and her fingers dig into the fabric of his sweatshirt, the one he’s been wearing all week.

“Renzo is gonna put your head on a fucking pike and that’s the only reason I’ll keep you alive, just so I can see it.” The kid kicks Dabi in the knee once for good measure before letting out a pathetic little huff, waving a hand through the air and turning like neither of them are worth his time. The girl doesn’t breathe until the backdoor swings shut.

Even when she scrambles back, she doesn’t say anything, just hyperventilates as his head falls back against the floor. Then she starts all the crying again, though it isn’t the scary silent kind, but the kind where she can’t catch enough of her breath to make the wailing sound that must be building in her stomach.

The women in his family must mean more to him than he realizes, because Touya just stares at the ceiling, thinking, Fuyumi’ll never know. Because he didn’t kill the cashier or the waitress, and Needles didn’t off him like he wanted to. Like Touya wanted him to.

“Y’r fine.” He mumbles, then repeats himself when she wipes her snot and glares at him. “s’fine.”

“It is not fine, asshole!” Her hand swipes through his hair, which has just started to stand out now that it’s drying, but she never actually hits him. There’s a quill stuck in his ear and she tugs it free from his skin without remorse. “We almost died!”

“We didn’t.”

“You were going to kill me!”

“No, I wasn’t.”

It feels like a secret, like an unholy confession he shouldn’t be sharing, and it shuts her up. Her, the waitress, she. There’s the sound of her pants sliding across the tile as she gets closer, and she tugs out the three quills on his neck a little easier. Gentle, almost, if Touya knew what that felt like.

“I don’t do that anymore,” he says, “I’m better now.”

The view of the ceiling is obstructed because she leans forward, sniffs and puts her face above his so that she is all he sees. Her. The waitress. The tears tracking down her face look like they’re going to drip on him, but they don’t, just slide over the edge of her jaw and make a dark trek down her neck. One that he follows with his eyes. It’s hard to see her face, what her eyes are saying, but the dim light from the kitchen gives a hint to the slow blink of her lashes, the scrunch of her nose when she sniffs, the pout dragging her lips down. Touya hasn’t been this close to a girl in years.

“Are you?” She asks. Her. The waitress. Touya doesn’t reply, because he doesn’t know what to say, and she just stares, like she’s waiting. Like she wants to hear the answer.

She.

Her.

The waitress.

You.

[antonhousehold]

so let's love

summary: sometimes, katsuki let his insecurities get the best of him. and sometimes, you get hurt because of that.

song: so let's love - day6 (click the song, its totally worth it!)

warning: angst. bakugou being toxic. reader is touch starved. yelling and cursing. insecurities. reader is in love with bakugou but he's afraid!! no fluff end!

reader: gn!neutral (or i tried to be neutral!)

note: this is my first time writing angst, so im sorry if is shitty. also, i would like to let know that english is not my first language, so im sorry if i messed up with the grammar and stuff like that!

loving bakugou was kinda... hard.

sometimes he's sweet in his own way. you remember the times when you fell asleep in his arms. the way his heart almost ran away from his chest. the warmth of his body against yours. it was simply beautiful.

he was beautiful.

everything started when you met him in that street. the sky was pouring and some thunders were lightning up the clouds. the city was dark and the stars were the only ones in the scene. he was smoking a cigarette and the smell of the tabaco and the rain was a very unique fragrance to you. you tried to cover him from the rain with your umbrella. gladly, he didn't stop you.

«have I seen you before?» you asked. those vermillion eyes were as deep as the ocean.

«i think so, [name]»

you remember the first time he asked you out in a date. it was simple but nice. just like him.

you remember the times when you were with with him in highschool. the way his words were harsh towards everyone. you thought he overcome that.

«i told you before, dumbass. i can't stand when you touch me like that in public! it makes me look fucking weak!»

we sometimes fight, and get hurt by each other's sharp words

«i didn't even hug you! i just leaned on your body. i can't help it, I'm your partner!»

«my partner would fucking understand and respect my boundaries! or are you too dumb to actually get it?! »

and you tried to be understanding about him. you tried to give him the space he need it. you stopped showing affection towards him in public. it was kinda hard, but if this was the best way to keep him happy and comfortable, you were completely down for it.

then, in your shared apartment, he started to accept your love. you believed in the soft kisses, the hugs, and the fuzzy feeling of his words in your heart. You wanted to believe in the memories of happiness and beautiful moments that you locked in your mind. the promises and the not so often sweet words. it made you feel special. he always made you feel special, or that's what you wanted to believe.

i can't possibly erase all the wounds you left in me

everything was going on very well, at least at the beginning. until those ethereal moments started to get serious. katsuki realized how much in love he was with you. how his heart almost ran away from his chest every time you looked at him.

it was overwhelming.

so he started panicking. you were just too good to be with him. he didn't feel worthy of your love. why would you even love someone like him?

i'm too afraid that you might leave me

«hey katsu, wanna shower together? i thought it was a good idea since both of us are exhausted»

«shower first. i'm not joining»

sometimes, he just didn't even consider your dates or plans with him. every time was the same. 'i have stuff to do, maybe tomorrow', 'i need to study for this test, i'm not gonna throw my career just for you'

you just wanted a little bit of his love.

you know me, please hold my unstable heart

«can you stop looking me like that? it's giving me goosebumps»

«i'm sorry»

it was hard to him as well. every time he saw your disappointed face and the teary eyes of you, his heart sinks. he didn't want to hurt you, but the feeling of loving you were scarier than hurting your feelings.

saying harsh words was so much easier than accepting the fact that he was feeling vulnerable when you were with him.

«i'm not gonna go to that shitty party. go by yourself»

«it's going to be so much fun! come on, grandpa!» you tried to play it cool. you just wanted a little of him.

«are you deaf? im not fucking going. i have stuff way more important than getting drunk with you»

i want your love, please love me. that's all i wish for

«why the fuck are you so clingy around him?!! do you like him or what?!» he asked once you walked through the door.

«what? what are you talking about?»

«don't play dumb with me. answer the fucking question!»

«i don't even know what are you talking about?!» his eyes were staring at you so furiously, that you even felt the goosebumps in your skin. bakugou always looked scary when he was this mad.

«i'm talking about that shitty extra!» he pulled out his phone and let you see the bright photos of the party night that was all over his social media.

even one word, i need to say it carefully. even this sentence with a trembling heart..

in fact, you were with that green haired boy, hugging him and smiling so softly that bakugou wanted to throw up. it was totally disgusting. 'how can they be so lovey dovey with that piece of shit and bitching all the time with me?'

«why are so mad about it? you hate when i touch you or kiss you, then why are you so obsessed when i show affection towards someone else?!» this whole situation was getting on your nerves. it was hard to keep a conversation about this with him, because he'd always yell the same thing about you.

«because you're my fucking partner!! i didn't expect you to be such a whore just for a damn hug!»

his words got stuck in your head as he started walking near you, just to look at your eyes with those deep vermillion eyes. for a moment, you thought he wanted to cried, but his screams blinded his emotions.

his scent stills reminds you fo cigarettes and rainy days. thunders and fire. it was hard to keep all those emotions in your chest.

i thought we were still fine, but i was wrong

«what the fuck is wrong with you, bakugou?!! you don't want me to even look at you but you get jealous when i have a good time with my friends. what the fuck do you want from me??!» you tried to fight the urge of crying. your eyes were begging to let them cry, but the knot in your throat was suffocating you at this point.

«i want you to fucking LEAVE! i'm so done with this shit. i can't stand you anymore. i don't want your shitty 'affection'» he yelled. you jump in your place of how unexpected his words came out. «i don't think i ever loved you! you're so fucking annoying with the same shit. 'please katsuki, love me please' so damn annoying. you wanna know what?! nobody wants your fucking affection, not even me, get over it!!»

we were shaking as much as we could. we were getting that cold

the words he said, the way he screamed, everything felt so out of him.

you felt your hot tears walking down your face so painfully. even felt your blood run cold against your skin. there's no way he was your boyfriend. katsuki was a jerk, totally, but he would never hurt you like that. he's not your katsuki. something happened to him.

you tried so hard to believe that he didn't mean those things. you thought it was just another fight, that tomorrow everything will be normal again. nothing changed, it wasn't real.

«i-i know you didn't mean it»

«i did. fucking leave. take your shit out of here soon»

i'm incomplete. i'm only complete with you

you know me so please, hold my unstable heart

«this is my apartment too»

«then i'll leave! throw all my stuff. enjoy your apartment, you can be free again»

he walked to the door with his phone and wallet, leaving the place with a heavy silent. you stared at the door, expecting to see him trying to apologize, but that didn't happen. you even imagined everything was a really mean joke, that he didn't mean something like that. you can't lie of loving someone for almost six months.

you tried so hard to keep him happy. you tried everything, but at the end, he didn't even love you as much as you did. all your wishes were just a pure thought of hope. it wasn't real. you just wanted a little of his love.

a last kiss.

a last hug.

a last minute of his life.

i want your love, please love me. that's all i wish for

so let's love more in the future

[seacottons]

—ateez as boyfriends [ domestic au ]

notes: swearing. suggestive dialogue. fluff. i blame a certain someone for this, not gonna say who. @kireiwoo

— hongjoong

very caring and attentive towards you

so much so, that even his friends have complained how it isn't fair he doesn't scold you like the way he does to them

he enjoys many activities with you, such as

helping him dye his hair an ungodly color every other month

he'll insist you try experimenting with your own tresses

but you only have the courage to dye the very ends of your strands

"i don't think i can pull off that color as well as you do," you'd say.

"that's a load of bull. you'll suit every hair color."

you'll just roll your eyes playfully at his biased behavior.

other activities include getting tiny matching tattoos together.

the tiny flower and butterfly on your wrists was most likely your favorite due to its simplicity in design and the meaning behind it as well.

spontaneous dates are his favorite.

behind closed doors, he loves to constantly shower you with pecks and smooches.

often gets teased by his friends from how whipped he is for you.

randomly books vacations for you two to relax and unwind every so often.

although he enjoys it, he is a big, tired baby when it comes to traveling

always wanting to lean his head against your shoulder

or cuddling you close for warmth due to the airport's air conditioners blasting frigid air.

has written many songs about you

and when he's finally ready, he'll not only ask you to listen to them, but to also spend the rest of your life with him and share his last name as well.

— seonghwa

constant pet names

"darling."

"the sun to my stars."

"the moon to my sun."

"love of my life."

you like to call him mars, mostly.

but he revels when you call him 'twinkle eyes' for some reason.

has a habit of pulling you into his lap.

you'll subconsciously play with the strands of his hair as he does so, him being too distracted bickering with his friends to realize sometimes.

will always give you pleading looks whenever wooyoung or san tease him.

sometimes, you walk in to find wooyoung settling onto your boyfriend's back while he greedily devours the bowl of popcorn entirely by himself.

or other times when both wooyoung and san constrict his limbs with their arms whenever you're near.

"y/n can't save you now, so cut the whining."

you'll only sigh and shake your head in amusement.

"what are you guys doing to my poor boyfriend?"

"he changed the movie we were watching without our permission!"

"because i have no damn clue what's going on, and harry potter is too confusing!"

coffee dates.

loves to sleep with you tucked against his chest.

always has an arm draped around your frame.

butterfly kisses on your neck.

soft touches against the small of your back and waist.

his favorite pastime with you would be stargazing.

"baby, look. it's me, mars-io," he'd say whilst pointing up to the large, bright star in the night sky.

when it's too cloudy outside, or when the weather isn't forgiving, he'll turn on the indoor star projector he bought so the two of you can stargaze in the comfort of your own bed.

— yunho

is the epitome of romantic.

is constantly smothering you in love and affection.

always has heart eyes and admiration in his eyes at whatever small task you do or say.

rant about an ancient dynasty?

heart eyes.

bombard him with useless information about a certain abandoned island.

heart eyes.

gush about the new cute bakery that recently opened up?

heart eyes.

if you had a money jar for every time he says 'i love you', you'd have enough money to buy a plane ticket or two.

always willing to drop everything to help you with whatever it is you need.

will wake up in the middle of the night when you text him to ask if he's awake or not.

willingly stays up to keep you company.

but sometimes, when he's too tired, he'll knock out accidentally and profusely apologize to you in the morning.

very supportive of your life choices.

hates seeing you cry because it makes him want to bawl his eyes out as well.

his hugs are bone-crushing.

but he is a gentle giant nonetheless.

likes to attempt to bake pastries with you.

half of the time, the goods either turn out undercooked or burnt.

"they have love in them, that's all that matters."

will always insist that you can rant to him about anything and everything.

you've never felt so valued in your life before meeting him.

is the most understanding human being you've ever gotten the pleasure of knowing.

"i wish we were vampires," he says one day.

you give him an amused look, lips outstretched into a smile, "why, silly?"

"so we can spend an eternity together."

— yeosang

his heart flutters when you notice the smallest things he does.

it makes him feel appreciated and acknowledged.

like when he changes up his hairstyle or earrings.

or when he wears a new sweater.

a big, big softie when it comes to you.

can and will want to spend all day in your arms on his days off.

quick witted and has a knack for noticing the tiniest detail.

very shy and awkward at first.

but when he gets more comfortable as time passes on, you won't be safe from his snarky little comments anymore.

will constantly bring up the thing you said or did months ago to prove a point.

"oh, you like this flavor? three months ago you told me it tasted like vomit."

"remember that time you woke up in a rush to get to work thinking you were late, only for me to drag you back inside because it was three in the fucking morning?"

you stop mid-chew and peer up from your plate of rice.

"your point, yeosang?"

"oh, nothing this time. i just wanted to tease you."

is the type to have a mid-life crisis when you can't decide on a restaurant.

"but i don't want to eat at the chicken place again," you'll whine.

"it's been thirty minutes, and you still haven't decided what you want!"

"you're rushing me!"

"y/n! just pick!"

loves to cuddle with you, especially in the colder months.

wraps a blanket around your frame and tugs you in closer against his chest.

pretends not to understand your jokes just to spite and tease you.

loves when you cling onto him.

his favorite pastime with you would be just walking around together at night and trying out different types of street food.

or even visiting any of the local beaches for a relaxing walk together.

— san

persistently keen about whenever you feel upset or down.

he reads you better than any open book.

sometimes, it scares you, but you appreciate how he's always so eagle-eyed about your behavior.

loves to hug your head.

you allow wooyoung to crash some of your dates with san sometimes.

other times, san will whine and tell him to go find his own date.

"if y/n accepted you as a boyfriend, then you should've disclosed that i'm part of the deal as well. buy one get one free."

"as what exactly?"

"the hot, clingy best friend."

will take numerous duck-faced selfies of himself because you think they're cute.

often times, he'll ask you to mirror his expression, only for him to press his lips against yours a second before his phone snaps the picture.

likes when you kiss his dimple.

"y/n! it looks like a crater from the amount of times you've kissed it."

he likes to tease you.

a lot.

touchy.

very touchy.

always has an arm around you.

rests his chin against your shoulders.

playfully smacks your rear when you're sassy with him.

or leans in to hold your jaw whilst whispering teasing words into your ear that has you becoming docile and bothered in mere seconds.

has you wrapped around his finger as much as you have him wrapped around your own.

likes to have weekly picnics with you at the park and admires all the dogs running about.

"i should bring byeol next week. maybe she'll like to play fetch too."

"i don't think that's a good idea.."

you often find him fast asleep holding onto a plushie for dear life whenever you're away.

you'll pull it away from his arms, causing him to stir awake groggily.

he'll stare in confusion as you throw the plushie aside, before pulling you in tighter as you wriggle into his arms.

"you're softer than shiber," he'll mumble sleepily against the crown of your head.

— mingi

mingi is sometimes self-conscious around the public eye and others, but when it comes to you, those layers of fear and insecurity get stripped away instantly.

doesn't mind being vulnerable with you.

he craves affection, adores it even, but is insecure about not being able to return it well enough for his liking.

likes when you give him attention.

easily gets jealous when someone else grabs your interest.

reassuring him 24/7.

"yes, mingi. you're the love of my life."

kissing his pouting lips for good measure.

the smallest of gestures has him a blushing mess.

even holding hands in public.

when he's not being a sentimental sap, he'll like teasing you lovingly.

"wow, you have this many photos of me in your phone?"

you'll scrutinize him in confusion.

"are you that obsessed with me, y/n?"

"mingi! you told me to take half of those photos of you!"

"oh, right. i forgot."

a silence weighs down onto the two of you.

"but would you have taken them if i never asked you to?"

constantly laughs about the things you say, although you don't think you're that funny.

always seeks your approval subconsciously.

will always shield you from the rain, playfully yelling at the droplets sometimes.

"you can't make y/n wet! only i can!"

"mingi! we are in public!"

wanted to go strawberry picking because he saw a celebrity try it out on instagram live.

accidentally steps on many berries though.

"it's okay, they'll just make another plant. i did them a favor."

brags about you like no tomorrow.

even for the tiniest, minuscule thing.

"oh, i've already tried the brand of ice cream. y/n always buys that for me."

"i don't need to pay all this money for a measly slice of cake. y/n's cakes are much better."

"no, wooyoung. i'm not jealous of your new shoes." he'll lightly pinch the boy's side, "y/n and i have already bought ourselves matching pairs."

"you two are so fucking cheesy, it hurts."

when he's not bragging about you, he's boasting about himself.

but if that's what helps him raise his confidence levels up, you'll gladly sit down hours on end listening to how he has more 'swag' and 'charisma' than all of his older friends combined.

— wooyoung

teases you like his life depends on it.

says you can't get enough of him, when in reality it's the other way around.

but you let him believe whatever he wants.

but deep down he just really gets satisfied with himself if he raises your mood and makes you smile.

especially when you're not having a great day.

uses way too many emojis when texting you.

"wooyoung, why am i saved as as 'clingy bug' on your contacts?"

he'll squawk indignantly and laugh awkwardly for a second.

"who told you this lie!?"

"seonghwa?"

always wants to show off your love in front of his friends.

"no, i don't want my early birthday gift now. wait until the others show up, and do it front of them."

"but why?"

"so everyone can see how much you love me. can you also cry for good measure?"

"absolutely not."

he enjoys the dates you have in his apartment the most.

the ones where he cooks for you and asks for your help, only for him to pester you about over-seasoning or undersalting something.

"okay, fine! we'll just order take out if it tastes that bad," you pout, flinging a small piece of onion on his face.

his head instantly snaps back to eye you judgingly, fist gripping the poor spatula.

"over my dead body."

"so, y/n. how does my plating look?"

"it's beautiful, wooyoung. you've outdone y-"

"what else is beautiful?" he demands, face leaning over the table to give you a knowing grin.

you shove a piece of meat and rice into his mouth, shrugging nonchalantly.

"me."

he deflates at your answer, spluttering pieces of rice onto your face.

"jung wooyoung, you slob!"

— jongho

is the type of boyfriend to stop you in the middle of the road to tie your shoe for you.

very charming and goofy in his own way.

takes pride in himself and his abilities to cater to your every whim and need.

even when you don't ask for his help.

aggressively opens jars for you when you struggle to pry them open.

"no one messes with my y/n."

"you're fussing at a jar of pickled radish, baby."

the type to cling close to you in public in fear of any of the bicyclists or pedestrians bumping into you and harming you in any way.

sometimes acts like you're made of glass.

while it's endearing occasionally, it is a bit suffocating at other times.

doesn't believe you when you say you're tough and don't need protection.

very selfless and willing to help you with anything you need.

never one to shy away from social gatherings with his friends, always pulling you along with him despite you being shy and clingy most of the night.

also a big tease.

when you help him hold down his legs for sit ups, he asks for a smooch.

pulls away from you when you try to kiss him.

and will laugh at your pouting face as he urges you to try once more.

"stop moving, i just want to kiss you!"

after numerous tries, he finally allows you ( you truly think you over-powered him though ) to kiss his cheeks or lips.

he then proceeds to squawk loudly in retaliation and playful disgust.

although he loves teasing you, when the game is flipped the other way, he'll be a shy mess of embarrassment.

"i don't mumble your name in my sleep."

"you always do, silly."

tucked underneath his macho exterior, you know he's prone to criticism and takes it to heart much more than he likes to show and admit.

so, whenever you get the chance, you always fulfill his need to be appreciated, loved, and taken care of.

is utterly and extremely protective of you.

"who just whistled at you?" he grumbles, "i'll break their jaw like an apple, you know i will."

[fvrxdrm]

5 Times

Pairing: Damnation!Leon Kennedy x Reader

Warning(s): None

*****

4 times Leon didn't confess his love and 1 time he did.

One

It was the giggles that sailed upon your boat, the laughter, the smiles. You both saw the funny in everything and that was your bond. You could be serious too; you loved deeply of others more than what was generally accepted. So you guessed the humor was how you let out the tension that kind of love brings. In those silly moments you were perfect, and they were the sweetness you needed in rough times. That's what friends do, right? It's the love that makes doors in emotional brick walls, the love that makes everything possible.

That's what Leon always thought. It was so cordial and unique in a way that he felt like what he valued so much was somehow outlandish and alien. He couldn't distinguish what comes out of him whenever you were with him and every tingle that raises hills on his skin was a puzzle he was unable to solve.

"I'll see you around," you mumbled against his chest.

"Yep." Leon unwrapped his arms around you albeit slowly, reluctant for some reason, and smiled through his pursed lips. "I'll see you around."

He watched as you wended your way from his house and into your home, a teasing tug pulling his lips at the ghost of your own against his cheek.

Two

Under the dim lights and the colorful ornamentations, your raiment sparkled against the gleam, catching the eye of many guests, predominantly Leon. You looked like a princess wearing a headband that imitated a crown, a top and a pair of pants embellished with a winking glint that could be mistaken as diamonds from afar, and heeled leather boots that comically made you look tall. Your hair was in a loose and messy braid with a few strands hanging just beside your face and a light chain that twisted along your H/L H/C locks.

Leon was in awe, no doubt. His focus was glued to your appearance. Even when his friends were making random conversations with him, he found it unbearably hard to keep his icy blues away from you.

"You should just ask her out, you know. You've been staring at her with heart eyes the entire night," Chris spoke as he followed the trail of Leon's gaze towards you.

Leon broke away from his stupor and shook his head at the man's voice, his blood rushing towards his neck and face.

"What? No, no. You're mistaken. I-I don't like her like that."

"You sure? Last time we were drunk you were yelling about how much you love her right into my ear."

"We were drunk, Chris."

"And? What's that saying again? A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts?" Chris simpered as Leon's eyes widened in surprise.

"What? Th-that's not true!" He denied.

"Mhm, sure. Anyway, my girlfriend's probably looking for me now," the taller and bulkier man said. "At least ask her to dance."

As Chris' footsteps faded away into the beat of the music, Leon thought about what he had said.

Did he actually like her, or was it just something he was confusing himself with? Either way, you were still a treasured dear to him and whether or not his heart was romantically beating for you, he would still value you the same, although he would probably be a bit clingier if you did end up together.

For now, he'll just ask you for a dance, go with the flow, and see what happens.

Three

The night rode in on a horse of pure midnight velvet, beckoned by the stars under the glow of a full moon. As the colors of the day rested, perhaps dreamt of the morrow, the forest became its monochrome beauty, darkened greens and golds that made an ever-changing, ever-present puzzle, question and answer united.

Fire danced beside you as you and Leon laid against under the constellation of stars and talked the night away, smiling and laughing at every jest that was told.

It felt pleasant to be in his arms and he felt warmth as a wild heart beat in his bars.

"This one," you began, leading his fingers towards a raised and silvery part of your skin, "I got this when I was younger. I got stabbed by a pencil."

"A pencil?"

"Yeah. My friend and I got into a fight and it was buried, like, 3-fucking-inches inside of me. And holy shit, my teacher didn't fucking notice it while I was bleeding profusely. I was leaking hamburger helper!"

Leon busted a gut and pulled you towards him even more as he shook in laughter.

You went on and on about the most absurd things that had happen during your childhood until you lost all energy and eventually fell asleep in Leon's arms.

You looked peaceful, he thought. Your face was so serene as if nothing had really affected you in any way. The world was cruel, but you only sought for the brighter side and stood along it with your back turned to the hell it truly bore. Your lips were parted lightly, and hair just a tad bit messy from all the exaggerated movements you'd done while telling your stories and tossing your head back while laughing. A part of your skin was showing as your top rode up, and he couldn't the blush that crawled up to his face when realized his hand was rested on that patch of skin.

He smiled.

Maybe he did like you, or love you. If his admiration wasn't enough, then his heart reassured him.

Four

"Oh, fuck!"

You swam away from Leon as fast as your arms and legs could fight against the water as he chased you, muscles and quads aiding him. Compared to you, he was more skilled in this type of stuff while you had chicken legs with barely anything of assistance. So it was no surprise when he caught up to you with spider hands and wrapped his arms around your waist. He tickled your stomach, the bareness of it making the stimulation all the more patent and making you guffaw while squirming in his arms.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" You cried in between laughter. You turned around to face him when you felt his hands making a stop against the side of torso and looked at the wonders of his eyes steadily and intensely.

You didn't notice it, but Leon's breath hitched at the proximity of your faces, the hot air that flew out of your nose hitting the droplets on his face. You were in a daze. Both of you. It felt so intimate and bona fide that for a second that was your only reality.

Your fingers trailed up his chest, neck, and finally his cheek, and for a moment, your hand was still on his face with only your thumb moving to stroke the scar that was stripped away from his hair. Leon furrowed his brows. The inside of your lip was lightly bitten as you thought about your next action for a moment. But decided that fuck it, life is short. If he felt the same way than congrats! But if he didn't, well, it's either he'll pull away or kiss back with no purpose. And hey, what's the matter with making out with your best friend?

And so, you drew a bit closer, albeit rather slowly in case Leon wanted to pull away. But seeing as he was copying your motions, you saw his intention and pressed your lips against his in a shy lip-lock.

Five

Leon tugged on his tie as he looked at the people dancing around inside of the venue, his heart doing a little dance of its own when he saw you smiling with the crowd.

He blew a sigh, the breeze intertwining with the air. He could see the party from the balcony: flashes of different color schemes, the swaying of dresses as the women moved, the chattering of people as they drank the glasses of champagne. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe this was all about you and him; two souls entwined by love.

"I see you didn't invite me," a sultry and velvety voice said from beside him. He knew who it was and it didn't faze him anymore to see her appearing uninvited as she always did.

"What are you doing here, Ada?"

"What, I can't go see two of my favorite people anymore?"

"Well, it always ended in a mess, anyway, so what's the point." Ada chuckled in response and leaned back against the railing, the smile her giggling left still ghosting on her face. It was all jokes, fun, and games to her for a moment until she turned serious and gazed at you from a distance where you couldn't notice.

"Take care of each other, Leon. You both are worth more than what you give yourselves credit for," she muttered. "I wish I could've given her the life you're giving to her now. But I can't, and I'll remain like this until I die."

In the depths of her mind, Ada reminisced on the time when she was in Leon's position. She gave the love you needed and wanted, and cared for you in so many ways. But she was a mercenary, a wanted one at that, and she knew that one day, everything would be thrown into a void or burned until it turned to ashes. So, she broke what you had off and handed you to Leon where he could give you a better life.

Leon couldn't say anything. It seemed rude and odd but he remembered when you knocked on his door, drenched in rain water and sobbing everything from your chest. It hurt to see you like that. And so, he promised. He promised to be the best husband he could ever be and shower you with everything he could give you.

"Leon!" Your voice rang out as you ran towards him with a wide smile on your face, startling the both of them.

Leon turned towards where Ada stood but saw that she was gone as if she was nothing but an apparition that was made by his mind.

He was befuddled for a moment, pondering about his encounter with the woman, but found his heart racing as you came closer to him.

What transpired was long forgotten and all the world could see how Leon mimicked the smile that defined the joy you brought to him. He was just happy to share such a beautiful moment with you and he optimistically wondered about what was ahead of you.

He pulled you towards him and spun you around as he battered your face with kisses, whispering 'I love you's and so many more sweet nothings against your cheeks while you laughed in his arms.

Hidden within the shadows was the raven-haired woman, imitating their smiles as she watched the intimacy from afar. She felt like her mission was done and although it hurt, she was thankful for what she'd done. Leon was going to give you the life you deserved and he was going to fill the holes she'd left.

*****

This was rushed. Lol. And I'm using my phone. How was it tho?

This was the outfit I had in mind. Feel free to change it though.

[moththefly]

DSMP headcanons

tall!techno - he a gigantic motherfucker. Like at least 8ft.

Phil dyed his wings at some points in time

Not anymore tho because they got basically blown to shreds trying to shield Wilbur from the explosion in the L'Manburg incident..

We all know abt horned Tubbo, but he also baah's when agitated

Canon deaths leave scars, so:

- Quackity got his face fucked up by Techno's pickaxe

- Burnmarks for the people who got blown up, etc.

Jack Manifold lost part of his soul in hell.. I consider him undead.

Fully on board with Puffy being Dream's mom

Techno isn't Wilbur's or Tommy's brother.. Phil just found him in the Nether one day. But aging works differently in the Nether, so he's been around for a loooong time and just existed instead of aging properly. Phil thought that he was a kid but when he took him to the overworld, he aged much faster than his other kids. Rather than being raised by Phil, he was just that weird dude that always seemed to hang around. He played with Wilbur and Tommy and they have some sort of brotherly bond but Techno would never admit that. He also was much more mature than the other kids because he's been around for much longer, so he feels closer to Phil age-wise and always preferred talking to him.

Bad used to clip his claws because he didn't want to accidentally hurt anyone.. Now that the egg is a thing he doesn't care about that quite as much anymore and let's them grow out. He doesn't even realize.

Wilbur's fingertips were burned even before doomsday because he quite literally played with fire in his insanity to keep himself grounded in reality.

Sam has a pocket for EVERYTHING. His clothes seem to be made out of pockets. Need a bandaid? He got u. Need a screwdriver? Also no problem. He says that it's for all the prison stuff he needs to carry around, but really he just started collecting stuff, people might need.

Sapnap naturally has a very high body temperature. Do with that what you will.

The only person Niki would still bake for is Puffy. When her dreams aren't nightmares, she dreams about red poppies a lot.

Sparkly skin Skeppy hahah

George has narcolepsy, which explains him falling asleep even in important situations.. He just can't help it.

Fundy grew up without much positive or negative reinforcement, which lead to him being kind of a loose cannon. He constantly tries to push his boundaries and see how far he can go because Wilbur never taught him about right and wrong. He had to find out by himself. This also made him a quick problem solver and very creative. Because he didn't have many friends growing up he used that creativity to learn instruments and made lots of music TLDR: Daddy issues.

Fundy HATES being babied. When not taken seriously he goes full grumpy 14 year old mode.

Dream learned braiding in prison to pass the time. He started doing it when his hair became long enough because he doesn't have any way to cut it. When people come visit his hair is styled differently every time.

Foolish uses his human form to walk around and his god form to build. He doesn't need scaffolding because he's (canonically 23ft) tall enough to reach almost anything. Keeping this form is pretty exhausting for him though.

Ranboo has very big, slender hands. His silk touch is a result of that. They help him pick up blocks more easily. He also has a very hunched over posture most of the time because he doesn't like sticking out too much.

Schlatt is/was Tubbo's dad. Schlatt suspected this because he left him in a box when he was a baby but Tubbo was pretty oblivious to it.

Tubbo didn't know he was adopted until Tommy told him and it went a little like this: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMejH3qrs/ Plottwist: Tommy was joking and didn't know either. In the end Phil had to awkwardly comfort both of them crying. He thought they had noticed that they are different species by now...

....

I have a ton more... If anyone wants to know, I'll post them.

part 2

[the-cult-of-russo]

Midnight Confessions

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader 

Request : hi! can i request a billy russo x reader with #4 from the love confession list and #2 from the smutty one liners list? thank you!!

#4: "This is just too much, I can't act like this anymore, like I don't love you!"

#2: "Don't act innocent when we both know where your mouth was two minutes ago."

Warnings: cursing, lil bit of angst, Billy trying to express some feelings, some fluff and a heaping of smut. Enjoy! (Under 18s please avert your eyes and pass on by) 

You sat hugging your knees on the sofa as you contemplated if you made a mistake or not. You knew Billy would just turn up since you were ignoring his calls but you really didn't want to do this over the phone. You didn't want to do it at all. 

You and Billy had been seeing each other for just over a year. And by seeing other it was more just fucking but you went and got feelings like an idiot. Because Billy fucking Russo didn't do feelings and you weren't about the unrequited love, so you knew you'd need to stop. He'd called earlier asking if he could come over and you didn't think you'd ever heard him that stunned before. You'd never turned him down. Feeling panicked and not wanting to deal with the situation, you avoided it like a coward because it was much easier than dealing with it. Billy had sent you multiple texts and calls, all of which you ignored. 

Billy didn't like being ignored and maybe you were a masochist and wanted him to come here so you could embarrass yourself in front of him by telling him how you felt. Ignoring his calls was like ringing a bell to invite him over to question you. 

It was almost midnight when the door knocked and your stomach tightened painfully. You knew it was him and you weren't surprised. You were, however, dreading it. With a heaving sigh, and another impatient knock from the man, you got up and opened the door. 

His dark eyes scanned your body as if he was assessing for anything wrong that was the cause of the rejection. You felt a little self conscious given the fact you were wearing some pyjama shorts and one of his t-shirts that was big on you. 

"Can I come in?" He asked pointedly after finding no injuries on you. Even though it was a question, his tone basically told you he was coming in either way. So you moved out of the way and into the kitchen area, leaning against the counter and wrapping your arms around yourself. Billy shut the door behind him, moving to the kitchen but keeping a little distance as he watched you carefully. His gaze always had a way of looking right through you and you shivered involuntarily. 

"So… wanna tell me what's goin' on?" He asked with a quirked brow. He was dressed down today in a dark grey sweater, jeans and his boots. His hands were in his pockets but the casual act was at odds with how rigid he was standing, head slightly tilted as he glared at you. Now or never.

"I don't think we should see each other anymore," you muttered quietly. His jaw clenched, his shoulder rolling a little.

"Do I get to know why?" He bit out. 

You glanced at your hands that were now in front of you and picked at your nails.

"It's just not working out," you shrugged. You were hanging on by a thread, trying to be nonchalant about it but inside it was killing you. Billy's mirthless chuckle had your eyes going back to him.

"That's it? That's all I get?" He asked, mouth downturned and his eyes burning.

"What do you want me to say, Billy? It's not working, it's over," you said firmly. Honestly you just needed him to leave so you could curl up in a sad ball and cry a little. 

He bit his lip, another unamused laugh escaping him as he shook his head.

"So...So, that's just it? You're just… kickin' me to the curb and I don't even get a good reason? You're just done with me?" He asked angrily, pointing at his chest. Your heart ached a little knowing what was going through his head and knowing about his past that he'd shared with you, it hurt.

"I'm not abandoning you, Billy," you said softly. 

"Really? 'Cause that's exactly what it sounds like. All this time together and what? Now you're done?!" He asked, his voice raising as he went on. You didn't expect him to react this strongly about it. 

"I can't… I can't do this anymore, Billy! It was supposed to be just sex but… this is just too much, I can't act like this anymore, like I don't love you!" There it was, out in the open. 

Billy looked like he'd been struck. His eyes wide, mouth slightly parted. The man who always had a retort ready was rendered speechless and it would have been funny if not for the circumstances. Something snapped in him then as he took a step towards you, face like thunder.

"No! You don't get to… you can't just say that shit to me and get me to leave!" He jabbed a finger in your direction then and you looked at him with wide eyes. 

"I didn't mean for it to happen. I know it was supposed to be casual but it happened. I fell for you and I can't change it. But I can't continue on like this when I- '' your rambling was cut off when he surged forward, gripping your jaw in his hand as he kissed you hard. 

It was all tongues and teeth and for a moment you indulged in it, he'd short circuited your brain. But then you snapped out of it and pushed him away. He looked wild eyed as he looked down at you. 

"I can't do this, Billy. Please just go," you murmured, voice wavering. 

"No," he said firmly. He stepped away and paced a little, running a hand through his hair before he turned back to face you. 

"Did you know… about a month after we started this thing, I stopped seein' other people?" he uttered, eyes gazing at you imploringly. That was news to you and you furrowed your brow as you soaked it in.

"No," you murmured. He took a shaky breath, hands rubbing either side of his beard and he looked like it was struggling to find the words he was looking for. 

"This is… this is hard for me, okay? I don't… do this. I don't do feelings. But you… I get excited to see you, and not just the sex. I look forward to takin' you to dinner and… and watchin' movies with you or just foolin' around on the sofa. I sit there… I sit there at work thinkin' about you. When I'm around you… you make everythin' different. Better. And I don't know… I don't know what love is, I never felt it before. But I'm pretty sure that I love you," his rambled confession was punctuated with his arms wildly gesturing and you stood blinking at him in shock. You really hadn't expected any of that. 

"Really?" You asked hesitantly. As if he'd start laughing and tell you it was a joke. He stepped to you, his hands cupping your cheeks and you stared into his expressive eyes as he nodded.

"I don't know how to do this shit. I don't know how to… be a boyfriend. But I want to try… with you. I don't want anyone else," he murmured. The emotion in his obsidian eyes floored you and he rested his forehead on yours.

"Will you let me? Let me try?" He asked softly. He sounded so unsure of himself. A far cry from the over confident man you knew him to be. 

You nodded and he leaned in, kissing you deeply. Not quite the ferocious kiss from earlier but slow and deep, taking his time. You yelped when he hoisted you up, your legs around him and his hands holding you up.

"Tell me again," he murmured against your lips. It took you a second to figure out what he meant. 

"I love you," you replied softly. He kissed you again and you could feel him smile into the kiss. 

"I love you too," he whispered, nipping your lower lip and sending a jolt through your body. 

You hadn't even realised he'd been walking but suddenly you were deposited on the bed, bouncing on it a little. His large hands slid up your hips and waist, dragging your shirt with it and you leaned up so he could remove it fully. It was discarded carelessly across the room. He made quick work of your bra next which joined the shirt and he smirked down at you as he hooked his fingers into the hem of the pyjama shorts and panties, pulling them down at the same time and tossing them over his shoulder. 

He gave your hip a cheeky nip before standing up and you couldn't take your eyes off him as he removed his sweater. Your eyes taking in every inch of skin you could see. You had no idea how it was possible for a human to be this attractive. You'd mused a long time ago that Billy wasn't really human, but a god that had come down from wherever he'd been hiding. Before long his jeans, boxers and boots were off and he hovered over you. You felt his hot skin against yours and it was soothing as much as it set you on fire. He kissed you until you couldn't breathe before kissing down your jaw to your neck  

He left open mouthed kisses and bites down your neck before kissing his way to your breasts. You moaned softly when he grabbed one, swirling his tongue around your nipple before sucking on it. Your back arched, eyes closed as you enjoyed the attention he was giving you. Billy was always an attentive lover. He paid the other breast the same attention before kissing his way further south.

You squirmed a little when he kissed your stomach, being a little ticklish there and he knew it. He chuckled, hands pinning you in place and you endured the sensation as he got lower. He settled between your legs, hooking his arms around your thighs and effectively locking you in place. He was being a tease, watching you as he kissed your thigh at a painfully slow pace but you refused to beg. 

When he finally made contact with your clit, the moan of desperation was almost embarrassing but he groaned against you, letting you know he liked it. He started lapping at you and you gasped, one hand fisting his hair and the other the sheet. He was an expert with his tongue and he had you on the brink in no time. Every time you moaned or gasped he responded in kind with a groan of satisfaction himself. You were putty in his hands as you squirmed at his touch and he held you in place as he went at you like a man starved. 

The moment he started sucking on your clit, you moaned loudly, back arching right up as you squirmed against his face. Your release washed over you like a wave of bliss and you were basically riding his face until it was over. You didn't realise how hard you'd fisted his hair but it was all over the place now. 

You lay there panting, calming down from your high as he chuckled, licking his lips as he moved back on top of you. You could feel his raging hard on against you and you stretched a little, arching up at him. 

"You're so fuckin' beautiful, you know that?" He asked against your lips before kissing you breathless again. 

Your hand was in his hair again as you arched up at him and you both moaned in relief as he pushed inside of you. He filled you up in the best way. He gripped your thigh, hitching your leg over his hip as he started to plow into you. You fit together like puzzle pieces and you rolled your hips up to him, making him groan against your lips. The hand that didn't have your thigh in a death grip was on your jaw as he kissed you like a starved man between his groans. You loved his noises and how he didn't try to hide it. You loved hearing how good you made him feel. 

He picked up his pace and each thrust forced the air out of your lungs in desperate moans. You felt the pleasure ramping up, your entire body feeling like it was on the edge of exploding. He angled his hips differently and you cried out, tugging his hair and making a noise akin to a growl leave his lips. Your second release hit you hard and you gasped, body tensing as you clamped down around him. He let out a sinful moan as his thrusts got erratic and then he groaned, stilling inside of you.

You were both panting messes as he lay his head in the crook of your neck. Your fingers toyed with his hair as you lay there blissful. You felt like you were in heaven and you were sure you'd be glowing after that. He placed a tender kiss on your neck before moving to your lips, kissing you slowly. He'd always taken the time to lavish you with attention when you were together but it felt different this time. There was a shift in your relationship with him now the feelings were out in the open.

"I don't know how I got so lucky. You're an angel," he murmured with a soft smile, rubbing his nose against yours. He was in a post coital bliss that had him relaxed and calm. You loved that side to him.

"Don't act innocent when we both know where your mouth was two minutes ago," you teased, kissing him sweetly. He chuckled into the kiss before pulling out of you and laying on his back. 

He held his arm open and you rolled over and snuggled up, nestled against his side with your head on his chest. One of his hands toyed with your hair as the other stroked your arm delicately.

"I love you," he said softly. You tilted your head towards him and smiled, his own sleepy smile on his face. You really never thought you'd hear those words out of his mouth.

"I love you too," you smiled. He kissed your forehead and you both relaxed, letting sleep take you under.

You really hadn't expected things to go the way they did but you couldn't complain. This was a new chapter for you both and you couldn't help but wonder just what was in store for you in a relationship with Billy Russo.

[dumbpico]

since I watched season 4, now I want to talk about what I thought of it. so be patient.

THOUGHTS ABOUT AGGRETSUKO SEASON 4 (⚠️spoilers ahead⚠️)

Can I say I liked it a lot? I mean it. I really REALLY liked it. I literally sit down and watched all of it nonstop. I totally didn't expect ALL OF THESE THINGS to happen in one (1) season, in just 10 episodes?? they went really crazy and say "okay. fuck it. let's bring some chaos in their lives because we need to spice this series up" AND THEY WERE SO RIGHT TO DO THAT.

the beginning of it, with Haida doing absolutely nothing to bring his relationship with Retsuko to the next level and try to make it official, really hurt me. I get it, Haida was really afraid of messing things up or that Retsuko one day might see him as a worthless and talentless person. I felt it way too much. Infact, I cried (spoiler: I cried almost every episode of it so that's not news to you at all) thinking about his huge stress. on the other hand though, there she was. Retsuko seeing him ignoring her and avoiding her every time he could do so hurt her so much. I felt it too. maybe she thought he didn't want to do anything grand for her anymore, maybe he stopped feeling what he felt for her all this time. she tried to give him opportunities like hey?? she invited you multiple times to get a coffee in her house??. surely she didn't mean to do anything reckless in there but at least to try and get to know each other more, right? this whole part was so painful to me to watch because that's not what I expected for them (not that I expected their relationship to be great and so romantic from the start tbh). Haida at one point turned even.. villain ish? I really couldn't recognize him anymore ;; I was thinking all the time "Haida, my love, is that you?? what happened to you, my baby??". when he said those harmful words (you know what I'm talking about) to Retsuko istg. I felt like my world ended. that's it, everything's ruined for them, folks! now we can give up our dream of seeing the two of them together! the show's over, goodbye! (not really). thankfully, EVEN THOUGH RETSUKO CAN'T ACKNOWLEDGE HER TRUE FEELINGS FOR HIM YOU DUM-DUM, she never stopped believing in him and knew he eventually would snap out of it. WHICH IT DID, WELCOME BACK HAIDA!!

the introduction of the new character, Himuro. DON'T GET ME WRONG BUT SINCE THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE NEW SEASON I WAS TOTALLY WATCHING HIM. I'LL SAY IT FOR ALL OF YOU DON'T WORRY: DAMN WHY IS HE HOT FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON??? now that I got that off my chest, I can continue with my review. he intrigued me. the series missed an actual villain trying to do something ""bad"" to the crew. I wrote "bad" that way because, in my opinion, he was not that wrong. their company was for real going down and no one was doing anything about it. OF COURSE HE SHOULDN'T HAVE USED SUCH METHODS but at the same time he was the only one to finally notice it. he wanted to give his all to make it right. he was also the first to notice Haida's skills (my man has potential, baby!) and gave him difficulties to improve him. HE SHOULDN'T HAVE USED HIM FOR SUSPICIOUS ACTS THO, HIMURO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? he turned all the series from one way to another and I can't thank him enough. he made the series extra interesting again!! thanks to him we even got to see all the cast cooperating just to stop Haida and try to save the company. I truly hope to see him again in the next season (I KNOW YOU WANT TO SEE HIM MORE TOO, ADMIT IT.)

NOW HERE WE ARE TO MY FAVORITE PART OF THE REVIEW. EVERYONE ELSE. AND TADANO. you can't possibly know this but I love love LOVE Tadano so much that it's unreal. WHEN I FIRST SEE HIM IN A NEW SEASON I START CRYING FOR NO REASON. well, there's one reason... it's him :]. after he broke up with Retsuko (pain💔) he became part of the crew as a counselor. literally no one thinks about him in their free time (SHAME!!) but when they're having trouble who will be there to solve all their problems?? TA-DA (-NO)!!! sorry. bad joke :]. I still can't get over the fact that he manipulated Gori's app so that Haida and Retsuko would show up as a perfect match. tell me one (1) thing you hate about him. we're gonna have a beef. do it. okay, now jokes aside. he helped a HUGE lot with all their operations, you can see he started everything because if he didn't remind Retsuko about her popularity, she would've never given to Ton his new (temporary) job, and so on. I was shaking in that scene where Haida and Tadano were doing arm wrestling. I DIDN'T EXPECT HIM TO WIN???. I WAS SO SHOCKED TO SEE HIM SHOWING ALL THAT STRENGTH AND PASSION 👁️👁️. you got me, I loved Tadano in this season especially because he got more screentime, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

WE GOT TO SEE MORE OF TON AND HIS PAST?? HIS FAMILY?? such a lovely wife he has!! his family is so nice istg. her daughters made me laugh so much! he's one of those who had a huge character development in the series. he's not the same person he was at the beginning of the series, here we got to see more of his devotion to his family and of his employees. I thought he'd fire someone but he believes in them after all and didn't say anything about them. I was so mad at Retsuko and Fenneko for talking trash behind him to the NEW PRESIDENT. come on, girls!! I know you're drunk but have some sense!! it's obvious he'd try to fire him knowing all these accusations!! even though he was basically fired from the company, he still gave all he's got to save it and was really in it when the operation Save The Company started. HIS WIFE WAS HILARIOUS and so cute to help him out in that crucial moment. really touched my heart. his daughters too!! they were so hurt seeing their dad carrying by himself everything and hiding it from the family because he was scared to hurt them too... Ton had an immense relevance in this season and I'm glad we saw this side of him.

SPECIAL MENTION TO KABAE AND HER SPY WORK?? WOAH SHE'S SO TALENTED I REALLY DIDN'T SEE IT COMING!! and Ookami💗💗 I love you, you himbo💗💗

the season ends with an happy ending for everyone so we're happy everything turned out okay. EXCEPT FOR HAIDA THAT LEFT THE COMPANY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOW WILL RETSUKO AND HAIDA TALK MORE??? YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!! WHAT WILL HE DO NOW?? guess we'll find out when we'll get a new season. hopefully soon. but I don't think that's the case :[[

Sorry if I made mistakes while writing all this!! English's not my first language so please, be patient with me :].

Thank you for coming to my ted talk, see you next season. bye.

♪～(´ε｀ )