#I can't tell you how many times I used to make Chamomile when I was still in my abusive situation

[sillylittlevulpine]

Been drinking hot Chamomile Lavender tea cause I'm sick (thank you friends for the recommendation)

Slept for almost eight hours last night for the first time in over a week. God it felt nice. And I've got some more that I'm making this morning.

Hoping to finally kick this nasty bugs ass. I had so many plans this last week. Trust me, when I'm better I'm rescheduling and hanging out with all the lovely people I had to cancel on.

[levmada]

there'd be so much intimacy and care in levi helping you to fix your sleep schedule. not in a sexual way, but just the tenderness of how he'd make it his life's mission to help you sleep at a decent time, particularly having had enough of seeing your heavy, tired eyes and seeing how frustrated you get when you feel you haven't accomplished much in the day due to sleeping in late (due to going to bed so, so late). he'd lie awake next to you, on his side, even if he was nowhere near sleep ready.

//nightmares (disturbing descriptions+sleep paralysis), insomnia, PTSD symptoms

After a particularly horrific mission, you begin to get restless, awake long into the night and drowsy in the morning. Your eyes develop a tired weight to them; kissing you awake like he routinely does (because Levi is always up first) isn't effective; he has to drag you out of bed in the mornings; and he notices the way you carry yourself during the day is listless and sluggish. You try to hide your yawns, but it's impossible to hide anything from Levi.

Even when you do sleep, he notices due to his chronic lack of it himself how what should be a calm, peaceful expression is again and again replaced by a stressed pinch in your brow, and how you toss and turn. He's there to witness as you anxiously bustle around in what becomes early afternoon because you're late in getting done what you want to. Levi prefers to let you sleep in if you have the option, but he hates seeing you like this.

At first, although you don’t say it, he can tell by the way you get busier long past sunset that you’re staving sleep off. Not for any logical reason he can see.

It’s normal for sleep to be unreachable after weeks of adrenaline and blood, but this mission went worse than the average, because at the brink of dawn, there was apparently enough light for at least two Titans to “wake up”. The temporary camp under the trees was attacked, and the death toll was devastating. No one except Levi was totally prepared for something like that to happen.

You're distressed, and he of course can't let that go on.

So it becomes his mission to get you to sleep sooner rather than later, and fix your sleeping schedule.

Since Levi has trouble all the time being able to sleep, over time he's been given many tips and tricks (mostly against his will) by those who notice and for once can't help but notice how bad he sleeps because it's written all over his face.

And so he does these things for you in hopes it helps, shocked that he found a use for them. It's such a minor issue to you, you feel guilty even though he's taking it upon himself to help. But he doesn't compromise: "None of this shit works on me, anyway. Get back in bed, or I'm tying you to it."

And well you doubt he'd really do that, but it's the determined passion in his eyes that gets you to obey. He brews you chamomile tea with a drop of honey, allows you absolutely no sweets at least 3 hours before you lay down, and even teaches you a breathing method that should relax you. On one of your regular errands into town, he even stops by a place that sells incense. There are literally no lengths Levi won't go to.

And, it works eventually. First a few more nights pass as you each ease into the routine. For once, Levi is consistently wearing something besides his uniform to bed and laying down at a reasonable time as a side effect of his efforts. You insist that he doesn’t have to, but he can sense the tension leaving your frame as he lowers the flame in the lantern and takes you into his arms from behind.

“As long as you’ll have me,” he murmurs, “I will.”

When he’s snuggled up behind you, your hands not so much holding but lightly clasped in front of you, he traces random patterns over your knuckles and breathes slowly and deeply. Without you realizing, he can get you to do the same.

You whisper, “Thank you. I just… don’t know how long this’ll go on. I think that last expedition just messed me up. I don’t know.”

“It’s understandable that it did, sweetheart.” He squeezes your hand. “How long it lasts doesn’t make a difference to me.”

You squeeze his hand. Slowly, you recover, still not sleeping much. And lightly—too light to get any real rest. You both figure out that it comforts you to hold him, more. Levi’s small form cradled back against your front, your legs tangled and nosing the back of his head. It comforts you more to protect him—even though he doesn’t need protecting in reality—than to protect yourself. You sleep easier.

But when you’re eased into properly sleeping again is when the nightmares start. Before, you could at least wake up from a shallow dream with the distant feeling of horror and panic and none of the real terror, but it all comes back to you now. Not all of them are necessarily about that morning, but fear, any fear—losing your life, losing Levi, reaching for your blades to fight a nearing monster but you can never seem to grab them, or just black dreams of your comrades’ screams; dreams where the Titans are the size of insects that burrow under your skin. It’s just unimaginable.

Levi has perfect instincts. Everyone knows that. He finds himself blinking awake for no reason, only for a moment later to feel you jerk awake in his arms, gasping. You touch your face to make sure you’re awake as he closes in from behind, practicing what you always do when you catch him having a nightmare—softly hushing, reassuring that you’re awake now, whatever happened wasn’t real, or at least it’s over now.

You turn over and weep in his arms. He holds you tight, as if he could be a physical barrier between you and those dreams, as if he could hope to protect you from what simply isn’t there. Petting your hair, and smearing tears from your cheeks with his thumbs. “I’m here… I’m here now. Shh, sweetheart…”

But it isn’t just that one night. Suddenly he isn’t the one with rampant nightmares—you are. At the worst you wake up with a cry and sit straight up, clutching your chest half-believing you’re still dreaming; at best he touches your cheek when you start to whimper and you can doze off again not too long after.

However, there’s one thing even worse than any of that, which is the sleep paralysis. During these spells, you're fully conscious, but can do absolutely nothing to grab Levi’s attention, even if he’s awake, as what seems like a hallucination but is just a vivid dream puts you through a little more hell. That’s the worst.

Since there’s absolutely nothing Levi can do about that while it's happening, you don’t talk about it. Talking about the nightmares, at least, absolves the fear better than keeping them to yourself. Levi doesn’t dismiss you or even tell you that there’s no reason to be afraid—he validates you, because of course they're scary. He brings you tea when you can’t go back to sleep, and often you’ll go with him, so at the kitchen table he listens intently while you try to explain the nightmare. By the time you’re finished, he’s always holding your hand. He doesn’t know how to be comforting, or at least he wishes he was better at it, but he relates to the way you feel, even if he can get too logical at times when dreams are the exact opposite. He tries his best, which to him never feels like enough, but it means everything to you.

Every soldier in the Survey Corps has demons, nightmares, traumatic memories. It’s not possible to sleep soundly even most of the time, but it doesn’t stay bad forever, and even at its worst, you and him both have each other when you wake up. With time, though it's not linear, your sleep schedule goes back to normal, so you’re less groggy and up earlier. Levi can kiss your eyelids and watch them flutter when you wake up, and stroke your hair to lull you to sleep at night. He’s always there for you <3

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[pigeonwhumps]

Friend, lost

Bug and Company masterlist

Taglist: @littlespacecastle @flowersarefreetherapy @whumplr-reader @whumpinggrounds @den-of-whump @painful-pooch @i-eat-worlds @a-funeral-romance @rainydaywhump @febuwhump

Febuwhump alt 7: last words

Sarita has a nightmare.

713 words

CWs: BBU, pet whump, death, grief, manslaughter, nightmare, emeto, implied food deprivation

"No. Please no. Don't die, please don't die."

Her friend coughs, wracking her body, hacking up blood.

"We knew it'd happen," she whispers. "Once they start to use you as bait and employee training you don't last long."

"But you– you can't leave me, please. I can't lose you, Six."

"Sarita."

"What?"

She coughs violently. "It's my name. Sarita. It's all I remember. Can we talk about something better?"

"Okay. Okay. What would you like to..."

"Tell me your ideal holiday?"

They've done this oh so many times. All either of them have are dreams, things they've heard handlers mention. But anything is better than here.

"A beach. A very sunny beach, and it's warm, and we can hear seagulls. We're eating ice creams, but I don't know what flavour because I don't know what flavours exist. We have large floppy hats on. You have ice cream on your nose, and we're laughing and happy and... and..."

She trails off. Her friend's body is still, her eyes blank and staring.

She bends over and kisses Sarita's bloody forehead. "No. I can't go on those holidays without you. Please come back. Please, come on, I can't do this without you."

There's no answer. Of course there isn't. She tightens her grip on Sarita's body, buries her face in her still-warm chest, and screams.

It takes five handlers to prise her away.

_

Sarita wakes up, heart pounding, tears streaming down her cheeks. It takes her a minute to realise she's not there, she's at Alix's, that was a long time ago. It feels like she was just there.

She can't hear anyone else so she doesn't think she actually screamed. But she can't stay here. The bed's sweaty and she can feel the cold light of their room, her friend's body, the blood on her hands.

She throws the covers off and lurches out of bed, just making it to the toilet before throwing up.

Not again. Not again. She can't keep doing this.

She stumbles into the front room, vision blurred with tears. There's a nice, soft couch there and she can just see through the light of the sodium-yellow streetlamp and she curls up in the corner, grabbing a pen and paper on the way.

She thinks vaguely that it's a nice coloured biro.

Then she starts to draw. Not the blood-covered face, not the one that was still and blank and staring. It's the good one. The one from when they were first put in a room together, and her friend offered half her meagre portion of food and a small smile that had tugged at the corner of her mouth as the only attempt at comforting the new trainee available to her.

One sharing of food too many was the final infraction that made her disposable. Sarita still doesn't understand why that was an infraction, or why rooms were shared in that training facility when nowhere else seems to do it.

Sarita uses half the pad before she's happy with the sketch. And then she moves onto one of her friend's dreams, the two of them in the forest together, eating a picnic and enjoying a waterfall.

It's not fair. It's not right. She shouldn't be dead, she should be alive and here and smiling shyly and able to go on all their dreamed-up holidays.

Sarita notices movement out of the corner of her eye as Oscar places a mug of chamomile tea down in front of her and sits far enough way that it doesn't feel like an intrusion, sipping at faer coffee. She should've noticed fae earlier.

"I'll change your bed," fae murmurs after a while. How many nightmares has fae heard that fae knows to do that? How many of hers?

How many of faer own?

She nods tearfully, not trusting herself to speak. Oscar is... fae's not in charge as much as Alix and Jane, she doesn't think. But she likes fae all the more for it.

She doesn't move for hours, until the sun starts filtering through the gap in the blinds and she realises she needs to move before anyone else appears. So she heads back to her bedroom, curls up under the pile of blankets with an electric candle lantern, and carries on drawing.

[amypihcs]

HELLO! Awfully late cause uni, got back home late, let's start with today's story! Watson is going like you-don't-know-what-i-saw

Well, he saw MANY things, but this one beats them all

He FAINTED on OUR HEARTRUG! They looked at each other. tried VERY HARD not to laugh. spat a lung laughing without ROARING with laughter (they will roar when Watson will write the case down and comment aloud to Holmes who WON'T be able to stifle his giggles, lol). Now -giggling- let's help this poor soul

BRANDY! the universal medicine (no, watson, just... no.)

Well, looks like it half works toh

Watson: absolute exhaustion -GLARE AT HOLMES- Maybe just hunger and fatigue Holmes: -angelic face and innocent whistling as he searches the client- (Watson WILL remind Holmes of Doctor Huxtable when he refuses to eat because 'he can't afford energies to digestion')

They're both so competent at the respective jobs! They're the perfect couple! Oh he's back to himself! Good! And he starts rambling as sure as he has the gift of word again. Give that man some milk and biscuits, PLEASE!

Huxtable gets a bit more back to himself and here we start talking business

No doctor, i'm sorry. My husband partner and i are damn busy. Is your case interesting important enough for me to move from A TON OF STUFF TO DO? WAINT, KIDNAPPED CHILD??!

TALK, MAN!

Holmes: Tried to keep it secret uh? - going through his index -Very silly of him! oh god, he has half the alphabet after his name. Mr Half-Alph-Man must be pretty important, uh? Headmaster: IMPORTANT. AND. RICH.

Lol, doctor, you know, right, that Holmes despises rich clients usually? Exp for the way they act

WAIT HOW MUCH DID YOU SAY?? Watson, we could send all our irregulars to university with THAT much money! AND have even less monetary worries than now AND buy that cottage we were talking about! We go, right? -insert watson nodding- Now, TELL US THE FACTS.

Holmes' detectivey senses are tingling. And is thanking god the headmaster TRULY CARES about the boy and is not going to say half truths! Guess Holmes' domestic abuse/messy domestic life traumas senses are also tingling!

Watson drinking his husband's imagine like it's the best hot chocolate ASIDE! Holmes is VERY annoyed by the way the case has been handled! You CAN'T give me such a case! The usual herd of buffalo must have passed already! gr! most DEPLORABLE!

And in fact Holmes is cursing every god he's heard of in his travels. In italian. We're professionals of that. How the HELL do you hope to find this boy now? Does his father even CARE?

A SCENT! FINALLY! A man on a bike disappeared as well! OH DOCTOR, please.

even Watson in our early days could do better than this. Love you Watson, you are MUCH better. Try and lubricate those gears in your head, headmaster, c'mon!

MAKES MORE SENSE, UH?

Well, did he receive anything that could've prompted a flight?

Oh yeah. Father of the year already. Holmes is UNIMPRESSED. (and as daughter of split parents i can say that the sympathies of the child are usually with the parents who behaves REASONABLY in a situation.)

Going over.

Ah, you also know from 'confidential talks.' wow. We'll go as soon as i get my suitcase, you telegraph and tell NOT to say that the Liverpool line has been a total blank. My dearest and myself can still solve something.

Mrs Hudson gets them a picnic basket (i loved that scene from the granada serie. perfect.) and they get to the school.

GASP! LETTER ON THE TABLE! PSST PSST PSST.

Get that man some chamomille, please. He needs it. No need to be this anxious, doctor.

BUT OF COURSE. The duke. He doesn't look like in the pics.

So I, DOCTOR WATSON, will describe him PROPERLY. Oh and the secretary is quite pretty, uh. Yes, Holmes, i love you and you only, but you need to admit he was pretty. (Holmes gets kissed after this-)

W-what? STOP FAULTING THE ONE MAN WHO DID THE RIGHT THING!

It's almost as you wouldn't want the case to be solved, Wilder... Well, languid time for Holmes. I LIKE this case, the air is good and my handsome partner has been pestering em for country air for months. I shall UNDOUBTEDLY take this case. You decide if you help me or i fuck you up!

Poor doctor toh! Luckily the duke has still a brain somewhere there.

Holmes asks some questions and then... last one. the letter!

oh YES, god forbid HiS GrAcE had to lift his noble ass. Of COURSE you posted it, Wilder.

Let's see how this case will go!

[blueepink07]

Yuno phone case analysis

(mentions of pregnancy, death and abortion)

First and foremost, let's just admire this phone case and how, despite being simple, is very pretty! Yuno has great taste!

Okay, now into the analysis!

~Flowers~

Ar first, I had a quiet hard time deciding if these flowers were daisies or chamomile, due to the fact that both look pretty much alike. However, I noticed that on Yuno's phone case, the flowers don't have just one layer of petals as a chamomile would have, so that means that these should be daisies.

~Daisies 🌼 - meanings~

Based on this we can already make the correlation with Yuno. The fact that even the phone case showed us that she was pregnant as though the DNA stairs and balloons weren't enough amazes me!

The "innocence and purity" are the traits that Yuno is putting up for her clients. The facade she is putting up front in hopes that she will find "warmth". Although the literal implications this word has, for example physical intimacy, because of how complex Yuno character's is I always associated it with more. Yuno desires to find someone with who she can be herself, she wants honesty and compassion. Despite that by doing compensated dating she receives some warmth, this is all temporary and she knows it too. That's why she continues to do it in hopes of finding someone that will knowledge her wishes and will make her truly happy.

She dislikes people that tell others what to do and judge their peers constantly when they are not themselves perfect. In her second VD she opens up this topic and tells Es that she only kept a secret that she participates in compensated dating, because it is not morally accepted by others. Again, it points out at her facade and the fact that she can't be herself, because of the fear of being constantly judged or, worse, treated coldly.

The legend depicted in the picture below makes a reference to the abortions that Yuno had. Daisies are a symbol of sorrow for the dead infants or children.

(It refers to the Victorian era; sorry for not putting the complete picture, but the contents there were quiet boring to read)

This likely refers to how Yuno has hidden from the rest of her acquaitances that she is participating in compensated dating, but also to the fact that she didn't tell anyone that she was pregnant. The purse on her stomach at the amusement park, and the glass of water instead of wine, are great examples for that!

I think this paragraph is an indicator to the fact that Yuno let go of her "past"(abortions) and after each abortion she is "renewed" and can continue with her compensated dating and be happy again(at the end of the first MV she is facing forward looking at the destroyed stairs, welcoming a new beginning in her life) . Also, it shows that Yuno doesn't care that much about her verdict. She forgave herself for what she has done, and that's all it matters. Es's verdict will not cause any changes in how she acts or what she is doing with her life.

"It is believed that the word "daisy" is derived from the Old English saying, "day’s eye." This is because many of the flowers that we commonly call daisies close at night and open in the early morning sunlight."

This is me overanalyzing stuff, but it can be interpreted as Yuno "opening up" for her clients to come at her, she welcomes them giving affection. All the moments during the day are shown as her being "happy" and doing fun activities with her clients. Also it could mean that during the day she enjoys more of this superficial love and warmth. During the night though, Yuno is "closing up". It's a moment when she actually contemplates and thinks if she is satisfied with her life so far. The second MV portraits this very well, because during the night she is shown sad and alone. The colours are no longer warmth, but instead cold and depressing.

"Several species of daisies produce a high amount of nectar, making them attractive to pollinators. You can expect the garden favorites, bees, and butterflies, as well as a host of other pollinators in your daisy patch."

Thinking of Yuno as the daisy and the pollinators are the clients it basically explains us the compensated dating part. The clients are attracted by her, while she is waiting for them with open arms. Also, most flowers need pollinators so they can reproduce, daisies being no exception, so it could be again a symbol of pregnancy.

Also a legend if anyone is interested! I thought it made a good reference to the beginning of Yuno's second MV, due to the teardrop part! But it's just something additional so you can skip it!

"The ancient Greeks also associated their goddess Astraea with daisy flowers. According to one Greek legend, during the Iron Age, humans began to make a lot of weapons and warfare increased. Incensed with the violence, Zeus decided to destroy the world of men with a great flood. But before he did, the gods, who had been living on Earth, left. The goddess Astraea was the last to leave. Heartbroken at the loss of life, she asked Zeus to turn her into a star.

Eventually, the flood waters receded. But all that was left of the world was mud and slime. Seeing the destruction, Astraea wept, and her tears fell as stardust. When they hit the land, they turned into daisy flowers."

Thank you for reading! ~🌼

[neuroborreliosis]

i can never fall asleep right when i go to bed. usually, it takes me between two and four hours. i know i have insomnia, but it's hard to reconcile that knowledge with the fact that i am so exhausted all the time. generally, these days, once i'm asleep, i can sleep through the night. i wake up partially through the night, i stir, i toss and turn, i adjust my position. mostly i move around so much because no matter what side i sleep on, or what position i sleep in, my back always always hurts. staying in the same position too long makes my back uncomfortable. but i don't usually wake up completely to shift throughout the night.

it wasn't always this way. insomnia is a beast with many heads and i've come face to face with all of them. for years, i would be able to fall asleep pretty quickly, but the slightest sound - a creak in the floorboards from another room as someone shuffled to the bathroom, for example - would wake me, and i'd find myself struggling to fall back asleep for hours. sometimes, i wouldn't fall back asleep at all. there have been times where i've been able to fall asleep and even stay asleep but never got deep sleep, never felt like i went into rem, or whatever. i'm not an expert. there have been periods where i can't fall asleep for hours and even when i do, i can't stay asleep. there have been times where i'm able to fall asleep but wake at least once a night to complete numbness in one or both forearms, hands, fingers. to the point that my own limbs would feel like they belonged to someone else and i'd have to carry them to the sink to rush steaming hot water over them until sensation returned.

i dunno. these days i just can't fall asleep until between 2 and 5 am, no matter how early i take my sleepy things, no matter how early i get in bed.

melatonin gummies. melatonin xr. passionflower. skullcap chamomile valerian. cbd. l-tryptophan l-theanine. homeopathic sleep tablets.

i always have some cocktail of sleep aids on deck, and i generally take several of them each evening. but STILL I CANNOT FALL ASLEEP UNTIL THE WEE HOURS.

i used to get prescribed ativan, then klonopin, both teeny-tiny doses. i used to get prescribed low-dose lunesta. i used to swipe my mother's ambien.

i hate relying on pharmaceutical medications. i am already chemically dependent on suboxone. it's the lifeline for which i reach every morning. it's the only reason i can do things in this late stage of lyme disease. so i'm wary of adding another.

but pharmaceuticals are really the only thing that has ever worked like clockwork for sleep, for me. i've been taking medical-grade melatonin xr every night for multiple weeks, since my doctor prescribed it to me, and i've been adding calming herbs and sleepytime tea and homeopathic tablets to the mix and STILL I CANNOT FALL ASLEEP.

i am SO TIRED ALL THE TIME.

during the day i try to be as active as i can, i try to pace myself, i try to tire myself out. i do yoga most evenings. i sometimes shower before bed so that my body temperature drops a little because jules told me that in order to get sleepy, your body needs to cool off a llittle bit.

i try to lull myself to sleep with all kinds of youtube videos, i rewatch netflix's "inside the mind of a cat" night after night because i wonder if maybe, when i've memorized the script, it'll ease me into slumber. but i guess it's not that easy.

i will say, there is one youtube channel whose videos can help me fall asleep pretty quickly MOST, but not ALL, of the time. her name is jody whiteley and she makes the only sleep hypnosis videos that aren't creepy or weird or sus to me. her voice is soothing and her hypnosis seems to work. i discovered her videos when i was 16 and i've used them ever since on nights when i'm afraid i won't be able to sleep. racing thoughts slowed by her suggestive cooing. but there are nights where i'm so wired that even jody whiteley can't save me from my wakeful state.

i dunno. i sort of hate when you tell doc you have insomnia and they go, "have you tried melatonin?" like YES I HAVE. WHAT DO YOU THINK I'VE BEEN DOING ALL THIS TIME IF NOT TRYING EVERY GODDAMN SLEEP AID THAT'S AVAILABLE OVER THE COUNTER?

i need to ask my provider for something. something''s gotta give. because of my lyme, my severe fatigue, no matter what time i fall asleep i need a BARE MINIMUM of 8 hours of sleep, and i won't feel good the next day unless i get closer to 10 or 12. so, the fact that i can't fall asleep until the wee hours means that i never wake up early enough to really take advantage of the day. i absolutely HATE waking up as late as i do. and the only solution for me is to be able to fall asleep earlier. i need a prescription. i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, like they say in 12 step. something's got to give.

[chibi-tsukiko]

IT'S WRETCHED AND DIVINE QUESTION TIME! LET'S GO!

(I'm sorry if there are too many I literally had to stop myself from turning into Oprah)

me @ Ishida: were you silent or were you silenced?

Anyway! I wrote some questions myself if that's okay. Feel free to ignore the ones that you can't answer!

Questions for Takashi - 

What is your ideal date? Asking for a friend :)

Do you have any leaders that you look up to? People who inspire you to be a great leader one day?

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Questions for Hein - 

If you could one new colour to the rainbow, which one would it be? You can make your own colour too! 

Do you like to read?? There are any books or stories or poems you enjoy? Do you like it if Takashi would read to you? 

Questions for Myya -

How does it feel to be a bad bitch? 

If you could colour your hair, which colour would you choose? Highlights or otherwise! 

What do you do when you feel really angry? Do you have any relaxation techniques you use? Again, asking for a friend :)

I have some more for Ishida and Ryuji, I will send them later x

Dragon babe!! I'm happy to answer all your questions (I'm sure the gag is too 😉) The Ishida one you scratched out is very on the nose 😂.

Anyhoo! Let's get into this!

Takashi:

Greetings! Not surprised that your first questions come to me.

My ideal date? Well, so long as I'm with the right person, I'm thrilled. I love trying new things, going to different places, and showing someone something new. But my favorite thing to do is pick a spot outside, somewhere I can see the sky with my head in their lap, and a book in my hand. There's nothing better. I’m sure this friend of yours will agree.

As for leaders, my forefathers are not good examples. I come from a long history of tyrants. It's not something I'm proud of. I did read of a ruler from LaDunne who seemed to share my vision of unifying the lands and working together. It's a shame he was silenced.

Once upon a time I think I would have answered this last question very differently. There was a lot I didn't like about myself, mainly how much I look like my father. But now, I don't think there's anything I would change. I'm not perfect by any means, and I could definitely learn to have more patience and think before I let my emotions charge into things. Overall though, I'm quite dashing, and I have my mothers good heart so I can't complain.

Thanks for the questions! Feel free to return with more.

Hein:

Hello,

I think I would add a soft pink. Like when the sun rises over the ocean and water and sky look like pretty waves of lilac and pink. That's the kind of pink I would add.

We don't have books on Taiker, but the Essence likes to tell stories and when I first met Master Takashi he showed me his collection of books. He reads to me all the time, mostly poems from his favorite books, and in exchange I tell him stories that I learned on the island.

Thank you, I hope you have a good day.

**author’s note: Takashi reads to Hein several times throughout the story. **

Myya:

It feels great! Thanks for noticing!

I would love to have hair like Uma’s! I think it's so pretty, but I'm not sure I could pull off blue. Maybe red? Yes I think some red highlights or maybe the underneath?

I found that a cup of chamomile tea is great to help me when I'm feeling stressed or angry. I also like to throw myself into work. Whether it's collecting plants from my garden, crushing herbs, or cleaning my shop. Letting my mind focus on the little chores helps me channel the angry energy I'm feeling into something more productive.

I hope this helps!

feel free to check out the q&a tag if you wanna see any past questions! 😊

[loosesodamarble]

(Drives up to your window) Uhh, Hi! Can I get, uh... Ivy, chamomile, and a side order of nutmeg? Thank you! 🚗💨

Oi! Wait for your order before driving away!/lh+j

.....

ivy: What are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? How can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired?

Girl, if only I knew!/lh+j

No but seriously, I think I don't have that many emotional tells. I suppose when I'm happy, like really happy, I can't help but smile a little (the number of times I've avoided telling my mom that I'm smiling about fandom stuff is just too much). But with things like anger, tiredness, or sadness, I don't it's as easy to tell those with me. At least, I've never had anyone remark on something about me as an indication of my mood as of late.

chamomile: What kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?

Aromatic things. Last Christmas, one of my gifts was a lovely set of soaps and then another gift was a pair of candles. I really like soaps, body scrubs, and lotions because not only do they smell amazing but they make me feel clean. And I like that feeling. Perfumes or similar products though, not to much. They feel like an afterthought (no offense to perfume lovers out there). Heck, I like smells so much that I've bought scented pens and a set of scented erasers! Aaaahhh! The lemon eraser is so refreshing! It wakes me right up when I get to use it!

My favorite scents are floral followed by fruity ones. Mint or eucalyptus are a no for me though, far too sharp for my nose.

So like... 👀 If anyone has any recommendations for soap shops with an online store that I can go to... please tell... 👉👈

nutmeg: How’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

The most decorative pieces I have in my room are anime merch. I've got figures of some Demon Slayer characters (Inosuke, Kyoujurou, Mitsuri, and Sanemi). I have some Horimiya posters because kgjhasiurhast the art is so cute and the fluff fuels me! I've also got my little Nacht wall with art from @/crazycookiemaniac and @/tako3. Oh, I've also got a couple display cases for some of the acrylic charms I've bought recently, for when they're not adorably dangling form my purse~! And then there's my manga shelf. The organization of it's changed a few times but I generally keep Black Clover at the very top because it's the series that's just kinda... cemented itself into my soul.

Other than that, there's not much to my room. I've got a dresser and filing cabinet but nothing else that's really eye-catching.

[wexarethewalkingxdead]

Let me assign you an aesthetic word

downpour

aren't summer downpours special, in a way? don't they make you want to dance barefoot in the middle of the road? isn't it so satisfying when the raindrops kiss your face? that's how i feel about you, i think. when people meet you, it's always a bit unexpected but still pleasant. you're unpredictable and that's what's so attractive about you; no one truly gets bored around you. if i could, i'd put you inside my pocket and go on so many adventures with you.

apricate

apricate means to bask in the sun, to sunbathe. if you got this result, i think you're made of pure sunlight. the warmth you radiate makes people around you feel safe, and i think it's such a wonderful thing. you're like a bouquet of fresh sunflowers, or a box of chocolates on someone's birthday. you remind me so much of chamomile, of pretty rainbows that appear in the sky after a thunderstorm. make sure you love yourself as much as you love others, yeah?

supernova

a supernova is a large explosion that takes place at the end of a star's life cycle. it's big, bright and beautiful, although quite sad. if you got this result, i wanna tell you that even if trauma still haunts you- even if you have scars, either on your skin or on your soul, you're still wonderful. you still shine, you're the most incredible work of art in the entire universe. give yourself more credit for all the stuff you've gone through, okay? i'm gonna speak for everyone and thank you for letting us be part of your life.

scintilla

in my language, scintilla is the italian equivalent of spark. you're the spark that makes two people fall in love, you're the spark that lights up the sky when the fireworks paint our big blue ceiling with hundreds of colors. you're a bright little thing, aren't you? it's so endearing how open your mind is, how you're always ready to teach and to learn. what i wanna tell you, is that sometimes we need to make sure we don't drown in our own feelings, even if they can be overwhelming. i can't wait for your back to finally greet your pair of wings.

dormiveglia

in italian, dormiveglia means half asleep; it's that short period of time right before waking up. if you got this result, i feel like perhaps you're not too keen on belonging here. is there a world you've created all by yourself, where you're happier? you're a professional daydreamer, head full of fairytales and gaze deeper than the ocean. you're probably into reading, into finding anything that would help your mind escape. you remind me so much of a cat sleeping on a windowsill, undisturbed. i hope you find your place in this world, too.

apricate

apricate means to bask in the sun, to sunbathe. if you got this result, i think you're made of pure sunlight. the warmth you radiate makes people around you feel safe, and i think it's such a wonderful thing. you're like a bouquet of fresh sunflowers, or a box of chocolates on someone's birthday. you remind me so much of chamomile, of pretty rainbows that appear in the sky after a thunderstorm. make sure you love yourself as much as you love others, yeah?

scintilla

in my language, scintilla is the italian equivalent of spark. you're the spark that makes two people fall in love, you're the spark that lights up the sky when the fireworks paint our big blue ceiling with hundreds of colors. you're a bright little thing, aren't you? it's so endearing how open your mind is, how you're always ready to teach and to learn. what i wanna tell you, is that sometimes we need to make sure we don't drown in our own feelings, even if they can be overwhelming. i can't wait for your back to finally greet your pair of wings.

scintilla

in my language, scintilla is the italian equivalent of spark. you're the spark that makes two people fall in love, you're the spark that lights up the sky when the fireworks paint our big blue ceiling with hundreds of colors. you're a bright little thing, aren't you? it's so endearing how open your mind is, how you're always ready to teach and to learn. what i wanna tell you, is that sometimes we need to make sure we don't drown in our own feelings, even if they can be overwhelming. i can't wait for your back to finally greet your pair of wings.

tagged by: @wrathfulmercy tagging: everyone!

[kafkaoftherubble]

有点忐忑

I have lost my sense of smell. I've been gradually losing it since yesterday, but today, it's not functioning. This is weird since I've long past my fever and am virtually no different from normal, but fine. It will return. The ability to smell, I mean. I'll be able to smell chamomiles again soon.

But there's something else I'm worried about given the history of us I'd inherited from my predecessors. And just now, it flared.

It's the OCD. It's trying to capitalize on this loss, however temporary, and telling me that it will never come back"What if it doesn't come back? What if it's not temporary? What if you can't smell shits forever? What if this nothingness is permanent forever? What if—"

How shall I describe those few seconds? My heart racing to the max. Hands going cold. Anxiety and fear, yes, but mostly that primal urge to scream. "Help me! Help! Let me smell something, please! Let me smell something, please, let me smell something! I want to smell something! I want to smell something! I need to smell something!"

I felt like I was heading toward a breakdown,

And then They kept saying I shouldn't try and look for something to smell because I'll keep trying and then there will still be no smell, and I'll feel like I don't have a nose, and if I'm not smelling anything how can I tell if I'm breathing, and—

Luckily Fionn scrambled to get me to smell my shampoo, and I could smell a whiff of its scent, mild as it was. I could also smell my deodorant. A whiff. Very mild. But I can. That pacified me for a bit, for now.

But what if I can't the next time? Should I smell them every hour to see if I can smell at least something? We have been there before. Establishing a ritual, pacifying ourselves, telling us it's the one thing that keeps Them out. Fostering some sort of reliance. But we didn't actually really got better because of it because we were just shoring up little arbitrary things to make us feel safe.

I don't want what happened to me when we were 13 to happen again. I cannot tackle this new source of anxiety in a way that causes That to happen, because I don't want to be brought to another exorcist or go through another exorcism again. The Lyndises at that time got out of half a year's worth of serious episodes and those exorcisms with insane creativity and a sort of fantasy-reality dissociate-associate and honestly, it was a hilarious and sorta darkly comedic story that some of my predecessor Lyndises used for her stand-up and story-telling time, but we also remembered how paralyzingly terrifying every moment of it was, too, in that state. It wasn't half a year-long of psychological torment for nothing. The boarding school didn't start spreading rumors about us being half-possessed at all times, discussing us in message boards, making up stories about the sort of spirit that possessed me, for nothing. We didn't start talking to mirrors for nothing. We didn't start talking to dolls for nothing. All that because our OCD flared up and was uncontrolled and nobody in that stupid school, despite being supposedly elite and having an office for counselors, knew it was a mental disorder.

All they worried about was whether I was suicidal. We weren't; we just wanted out of the school because it was full of "hepatitis B blood virus" in my OCD mind, and because it was so lonely and isolating and invisible there. Because we were being treated like a ghost, but we were still tangible enough to possibly be contaminated by "viruses", and so They kept telling us we could be if we weren't vigilant. Outside, people were telling us that we were just doing stupid shit because we were a delicate flower with zero grit who couldn't even weather through a boarding school, no matter how many times she told 'em she wanted to be transferred to a normal public school. In the end, we had to play into the possession narrative—including not hiding our tendency to hear voices, and even letting Someone take over the driver seat partially—just to finally be listened to by a crowd of terrified adults. They rather listen to the "ghost" who possessed me. Because when I was a human, I was simply my Dad's experiment to create the perfect child.

We nursed ourselves back to health through weird regimes we cobbled out of daydreams and fantasies and those audio hallucinations and by luck and some miscellaneous untaught ingenuity, without support from the internet or other people online (we didn't even know it was called OCD; we just knew we were not actually possessed), and the help of a new environment where we could start over again. But that was yet another half a year of recovery.

I don't want that. My predecessors didn't go through all of these just so I, the one who succeeded them, repeat their methods and honest mistakes. I have to be careful about this loss-of-sense-of-smile issue. And this time, there's a high chance that we can. I am much more mindful of my state of mind and emotional state, and I am better at facing and responding to Them. I have knowledge! I'm armed with knowledge all of us had been gathering thus far, in a volume far greater than 13-year-old Lyndis(es) had. My metacognitive voices are wiser. Faster. Clearer at rebuttals. And so is Fionn, who learned his own things while I learned mine. And the 8-foot Tall Woman isn't even as antagonistic to me as she used to be.

This is different from then. This doesn't need to be a replay of what happened in 2008. It's not impossible for me to make sure our brain doesn't accidentally succumb to the lure of my OCD and rewrite its own neural circuit into a deeper and deeper spiral. Be vigilant, but not toward the object of anxieties, but to the anxieties themselves. My sense of smell will return; I know that much as a fact of science. But the anxieties themselves—They—will try to convince me otherwise. They will try to make me edge to another breakdown.

If I succumb too much I rewrite my circuit and make it even easier to succumb the next time. It's all circuitry at the end of the day; it's a rumination, a self-reinforcing process. Oh, like the Kaisen in Jujutsu Kaisen! Hahahaha!

..... You of the future who inherited me: this is as much for me as it is for you.

[yanderenightmare]

i feel like you've written this before but i can't find it anywhere but anyway HOUSES, what type of place do our boys have?

BNHA headcanons ! Homes

you're right, i did write this once, but it's a long time ago, here's a new version

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

Water-front lake-house.

A way up the mountain, in the forest, where the air is clean and the noise is soaked up by the trees.

Brand new modern architecture, with customised rooms designed to cater him and him alone

Large white geometric shapes strewn amongst the trees, on top of each other like building blocks. Large floor-to-ceiling windows showing the vastness of the misty woods outside.

He'll often stare at it while drinking his morning coffee. Content with the green pines as apposed to the concrete jungle view he has from his office in the heart of Japan.

Bakugou hates the city.

He hates the noise, the smell, the crowds.

He just wants to be isolated from the rest of the world. Fresh air and tall trees. Where he can tend to his garden in peace.

Groom the rose-hip and chamomile in the tea region and the apples and pears and plums in the fruit section.

Yard neatly divided into several districts. Each serving their own purpose.

He'll grow his own produce in the greenhouse. Get his hands dirty with mud and fertiliser like it's therapy. Bring vegetables and fruits into the kitchen and make fully organic meals.

He tends to his chilly-farm like a strict overprotective mother handles her babies.

He'll walk the woods and scavenge for new plants to adopt.

He couldn't stop smirking that time he found a wild shrub of strawberries on one of his hikes.

Up all alone on the mountain he'll enjoy the rain in all its glory. No sirens and turbulence disrupting the musical pitter-patter or the way it so peacefully splashes atop the lake.

He'll take his boat out there, in the middle of his very own ocean. Sling a fishing rod out to make ripples on the blank surface. Catching trout in the season he knows they've swum up the river. Making fresh sushi and sashimi from scratch.

Right before winter he'll scavenge the forest for a dying tree to cut down for firewood. Collecting pinecones for good measure as well. Sometimes finding other lucky coincidences along the way.

After some time he'll start adopting more than just plants.

He'll stumble upon unprotected abandon litters of animals. And mutter to himself about the circle of life while walking away.

Always turning back around growling to hell with the cruelty of nature.

He has a warren of rabbits in his garden now.

And one time he nursed a bear-cub back to health before setting him free again.

He grew a batch of sunflowers simply to collect the seeds to put in the several birdhouses he's put up. Making sure to water the birdbaths as well as the actual flowers when he's out overlooking his little world.

It's a big adjustment for him when he invites you to live with him.

He wasn't sure you'd appreciate the silence as much as him.

But you're consumed with confusion and cutesy lovesickness upon the introduction to the family of bunnies living with your respectively feared and known to be stoic partner.

He tells you that they were temporary with folded arms. That they were only supposed to stay until they grew up, however that by that time they'd grown so used to eating the carrots from his crop that they weren't suited for life out in the forest all alone.

You looked at the fray with your mouth agape. About to catch flies before looking to him and asking how many there were.

To which he replied that he'd long ago lost count.

All he could tell you was that he named the rather new one. The one that was born with a distinct heart-shaped blot of fur on his back.

And that he named it after you.

One, two, three, four or five.

TODOROKI SHOTO

Old-fashioned manor.

With large squared fields of green land and perfectly trimmed hedges running along the driveway, that leads to its very own roundabout circling a stone-fountain, with built-in lights that turn on automatically once it gets dark.

Shoto enjoys the atmosphere of old manors and mansions. He enjoys the medieval tones and accents alike a castle.

He enjoys how their presence seem almost merged with the land. How roses climb up the stone walls, making homes within the cracks in the cement. How a tree has leaned up against the bricks, resting its heavy head on the roof, branches growing alongside the walls as though embracing the structure.

He enjoys the sound.

The creaking and howling of the wind though the chimney. As though the house itself is alive, as though it's breathing. Moaning and groaning during the winter and humming and hooting happily in the summer.

He enjoys the spaciousness. Both that of within, where large rooms seem daunting in size, and the outside fields stretching a mile in each direction before reaching the forest.

He likes the grandness. The rich history. The muchness of it all. Where the lordly estate stands all alone with only a few sparse trees crowding its authority over the otherwise barren hill.

He enjoys the smell of oiled wood and the sturdiness of stone tiles. And the grand staircase and the large ballroom it leads to. The massive libraries with endless books to read. And the strange marble-carved statues and the intricate decorations marring the railing. The impressive whine-cellar and the enormous dining hall.

He enjoys offering up the guest rooms for staff for when it'd be convenient for them to stay on the property or for if they want to stay permanently.

And he especially enjoys volunteering his home to host events and gatherings. Whether it be a for a friend's wedding or to celebrate a birthday or in honour of someone, where the hero gala has been held exclusively at his house for the past years and counting.

He wouldn't want it any other way.

He also has the rooms to spare if anyone would need to crash for the night, and always has the staff make up the rooms for those designated drunken fools who always drink a few two many.

Shoto loves every square-inch of that place. Even though more than half of it isn't in use.

But you... you would be lying if you said you didn't find it a bit spooky.

Like a haunted house. With its long endless hallways that seem to lead to nowhere. And that constant feeling of walking in circles. Furniture placed in rooms no one use. Still with white sheets thrown on top of them so they not spoil in dust.

You swear things move around the first few weeks after moving in. Having no clue Shoto'd been pulling little innocent pranks on you. Until of course you spot the little smirk playing at his lips one time where you'd scared yourself into screaming wandering the rooms alone with the feeling of being followed.

He promised to stop his torment and make you realise the true beauty in your new home.

The vow smeared on your skin with Shoto's kisses as he made love to you in one of the supposed haunted white-clothed couches in the abandoned left wing of the house.

One or two. And yes, quite inspired by Hill House and Bly Manor.

MIDORIYA IZUKU - DEKU

He'd long thought he wanted something quaint. Something cozy and homey. With a white picket-fence decorating its humble parameters.

But later in the extravagance of his fame he found that it didn't quite suit his style.

Much like his predecessor. He romanticises America and falls quite hard for the neoclassical villas.

Alike the White House. With its substantial presence and superior and authoritative symbolism.

He enjoys the grand pillars and the towering height.

He enjoys the comfort.

The luxury of having multiple rooms. An office, a gym, a library, a kitchen, three living rooms, game-room, home-theatre, an abundance of spare rooms plus the master bedroom... etc...

A bathroom for each floor, fully furbished with a hot-tub and a shower and a toilet. Plus the swimming pool outback in the garden and the glass roof covering it like a massive sun-parlor keeping the rain and snow out.

It's strange to think that the thought of living in such a place nearly made him sick before, and how he now cannot even seem to bring himself to sleep anywhere but home whatsoever.

But, he doesn't mind having people over, nor does he mind having them live close by either.

Unlike Katsuki who enjoys solitude and Shoto who covets privacy. He actually quite enjoys the neighbourhood.

He enjoys the hand-delivered housewarming gifts, and the hand-written invitation cards to gatherings and being the centre of attention to all the pretty housewives that swarm him on every neighbourhood barbecue and pool-party and block-soirée.

And now he enjoys the look of you getting comfortable in your new home.

Out in the garden by the pool. Bathing in the sunlight in the two-piece bikini and Prada sunglasses he's bought for you. Sipping Mai Tais and Pina Coladas from the bar.

He enjoys watching you read book after book from the home-library. How you curl yourself up in blankets in the armchair, feet rubbing together in fuzzy socks to keep the warmth. A cup of brewed tea sitting piping-hot by your side.

He enjoys coming home to find you in nothing but the lavish set of lingerie he picked out and the matching pretty lace kimono. How you sleep on the couch waiting for him like a little spoiled but grateful pet.

He enjoys how you've grown so comfortable. Where when you first moved in you'd tip-toe around unsure of where to place yourself. To now having adopted personal comfort spaces here and there that belong to you and you alone

He remembers asking you what you thought of it early in the days of your move-in and you'd answer that it was more closer to a picture taken out of interior-design magazine than something you could call home

But you've gotten used to it now. So much so you find it strange when everything isn't exactly where it's supposed to be, or when something isn't spotless, or if something faulty remains so for any longer than a couple of hours when they would usually be fixed and back to normal before the day let up.

You've gotten a bit spoiled.

But he just finds you adorable.

One, two, three or four.

KIRISHIMA EIJIROU

Minimalist beachhouse.

Perhaps simpler and smaller than the abodes of his friends, but bought and placed on a private beach.

White sand sparkly like diamonds right outside. Soft and toasty to walk on. Water clear as crystal, laid calm in the coves with fishes swimming between bundles of coral beneath and waves perfect for surfing crashing into shore along the banks.

His surfboard collection standing proudly outside. Plunged into the wet sand in a perfect escalating row. Tow, fish, shortboard, hybrid, egg, funboard, gun, longboard, sup.

Sometimes one of them will disappear in the night and he's left to wonder whether the thief was human or sea.

But it doesn't matter too much.

He's not much of a materialistic guy. Which is why he had aimed for a smaller space than that of his other friends. Substituting space for a broad view and an endless backyard.

He's never wanted nor need much space or things. He rather likes keeping it as simple and minimal and down-to-earth as possible. Less space, less stress.

The garage is kept beneath the house. His car ducks down into a private tunnel some miles away so no other cars can arrive at the beach and so that no streets destroy the scenery.

A spiral staircase leads up to the main and only floor where all other rooms are gathered in a practical minimalistic layout. The kitchen-nook and dining table and living area all gathered in one space. A single bedroom and a bathroom kept separate as the remaining two rooms.

Most outer-walls are made up of floor to ceiling windows. Allowing him the full-scale view of the sun being swallowed by the ocean on the horizon.

The sky as well. Most beautiful above the ocean. Away from city-pollution, kept clean and starry. Moon giving a strip of light out onto the waters. Everything so blue and light reflected so beautifully you can hardly spot where the sea ends and the welkin begins.

You had it hard once moving in.

Always the sound of Kirshima's snoring and waves roaring outside when trying to fall asleep.

No personal space you can escape to for some privacy.

And the shower's outside so you can wash off saltwater before entering the house, but somehow the two of you always manage to drag sand in from the beach.

It's absolutely everywhere.

In the couch and in the bed. In the food sometimes as well.

Nothing ever doesn't smell like salt.

The ocean water bleach your clothes.

You get sunburned on the daily.

The aquarium in the living room is nice though. Taking up way too much space than you can afford, but feeding them has become somewhat of a hobby of yours.

And you like all the shells you find along the shore. And chucking starfish back into the ocean once the tide drags out to sea and leaves them stranded on the beach for death.

And you're beginning to adopt Kirishima's outlook. How the house is far away from being your only home. How the beach and the cove and the waters can be home as well.

One, two or three.

TAKAMI KEIGO - HAWKS

Penthouse.

He never uses the elevator. He just swoops in and out. Wings carrying him to the top, where he lands on the terrace and enters from there.

Instincts told him he needed his nest high up. And something akin to pride told him it needed to be the highest of them all.

But... in retrospect he doesn't know why he settled for such a large place.

He's hardly ever home. And the thought that he needed a large birdbath was also now silly as he can count the amount of times he's used the pool on one hand alone.

But he doesn't think too much of it. The thought of a steady personal safe place to call home is still a strange and foreign prospect to him.

He just kept the interior as is when he bought it.

Same dull nameless paintings on the walls.

Furniture he paid a home-decorator to buy and place bearing no meaning to him. Though functional enough to serve their purpose.

It doesn't really matter though. He never uses the kitchen or the TV. All furniture rendered redundant as just props to prove that someone lives there.

When he's home he's either sleeping or doing research. Where he won't utilise the impressive desk sitting in his office, but rather the living-room floor.

Papers scattered everywhere. Neatly surrounding him, where he sits with his legs crossed in the middle of the brainstorm. Watching, connecting dots.

It's just a place to be for him. Not really a place to live.

But it's nice when you move in.

He enjoys the tiny messes you make everywhere. It makes everything feel more homey. Personal and comfortable and intimate.

Small piles of your clothes here and there, taken off on hot days or in a different heat of ripping each-others clothes off.

That shirt you borrowed from him, thrown on the coach. The once neat stacks of folded blankets laid in bunches. The pillows in no particular spot. Towels used by the pool hung over the back of chairs. Dinner plates still left in the sink. Half-drunken cups of coffee leaving rings on tabletops.

The smell too, has changed.

Once so stale and now so you. Your scent, your shampoo, your perfume, your cooking, your favourite flowers.

You've made it your house.

And in addition, a place he can call home.

One, two or three.

[romance-de-la-luna]

Okay here we go: my answers to ALL of the asks I reblogged 🙄

Thank you SO MUCH @ginny-lily 🙄

This was so fun 🙄

Describe your favourite shirt

Don't care about clothes enough to have one

If you could, would you change your eye colour?

No

Name of an artist you think is underappreciated

Emy Taliana

Favourite flower?

Dandelion

Preferred type of weather?

Storms

A poem you think describes your closest friend?

Hmm let me write one: PURE EVIL. BUT I LOVE HER. THE END.

Do you keep your fingernails long or short?

Short (for climbing)

Favourite sea animal?

Don't have one (it's not sharks. I don't have favourite animals)

Favourite land animal?

Again, I don't have favourites. I have absolutely no preference for birds, moths and shieldbugs. I love all animals equally.

Are you religious? Spiritual?

Religious? No. Spiritual? Not really

Can you fold a fitted sheet?

Umm? I can fold sheets?

Are you part of the lgbt+ community?

You know what? I think I might be xD

What's saved as your phone's lockscreen?

Do you thrift?

That's an American word. I'm skipping this question

What's your natural hair colour?

Brown

Have any pets?

No

Would you ever try going vegetarian or vegan?

Already vegetarian; would consider going vegan one day (but would probably fail)

An animal you wish hadn't gone extinct?

Uhh, all of them?

How many languages do you speak?

English and un-fluent Spanish

Do you care for clothing brands?

Not at all

Favourite scent on a person?

Coconut? Or nothing?

Have you ever been camping?

Yes, many times

Do you play an instrument?

Used to play the piano

Gold or silver jewellery?

Gold

Any piercings or tattoos?

No but I wanna get tattoos! And maybe get my nose pierced as well

How many pairs of sunglasses do you own?

One

Would you ever want to play a game on television?

I'd be too scared of getting things wrong on a quiz game, but things like Total Wipeout (do people know what that is??) look so fun!!

Have you ever lived on a farm?

No

If you had the option, would you choose to move to another country?

Of course! I'd go and live in Rome with my sister!

Relationship status?

Single

What is your best school subject?

Spanish or English

Any unpopular opinions?

As you know, my opinions on food xD

Another name you think would suit you?

I've been told my name suits me very well?? But imagine if I was called Moon or Rain or Ocean...

A subject you enjoy learning about?

Ancient Siberian tribal rituals involving fly agarics 😏

A -core you enjoy?

Is it just me who doesn't understand all this aesthetic stuff?? I don't know 😂 I really don't know

An TV show you used to love? (AN TV SHOW???? WHAT IS THAT???? ARE THERE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WHO DON'T REALISE THE LETTER 'T' IS A CONSONANT???? IT'S *A* TV SHOW)

My parents never let us watch normal kids' TV when we were little, so all we used to watch were cartoons like Tom and Jerry and Bugs Bunny 😌

Any interesting family stories?

This is the best I can come up with:

You know those blocks with letters of the alphabet on that you have when you're little to help you learn how to write? Well apparently my dad used to spell rude words out with them 😂😂 and of course I had no idea what they meant so he could get away with it (he is just generally the most immature person ever. 😝 For example, EVERY time we eat melon he makes jokes. Every time anyone mentions buttering toast he makes jokes. Every time anyone says or does anything remotely innuendo-sounding, he makes jokes. And honestly I love him for it 😂)

Do you wear your socks mismatched?

I prefer to walk barefoot everywhere, but yes, when I have to wear socks they're ALWAYS odd

Your thoughts on magic - does it exist?

Maybe... ✨

Form of art you enjoy doing?

I can't art 😝

Any sideblogs?

Nope

YouTubers you enjoy watching?

Jonna Jinton, Keara Graves (IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE, YOU MUST WATCH THEIR VIDEOS!!!! THEY'RE AMAZING AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH), Dan and Phil, Frank James, and my group of cringey American YouTuber friends (the AMP squad)

Do you have a type?

I can have more than one type right? I love people with red hair, goths, weird people...

Twin beds, queen, or king?

Queen? I think?

Do you have strong feelings against the colour pink?

No

A food you've never tried?

I don't think I've ever had steak? And I probably never will

Dogs, cats or fish?

Dogs

Do you collect anything?

Let's just say I went through a phase that I'm not proud of, and I may or may not own about 30-50 lip balms 🙈

Earbuds or headphones?

Headphones

Jean jackets?

I... have nothing against them? But I've never owned one?

Have a job?

Nope, too lazy 😇

Kill the spider or take it outside?

Make cute eyes at them and tell them how adorable they are, then either leave them to it or take them to my room

Do you think you can sing well?

Amazingly 😉

Favourite flavour of gum?

Mint?

Shuffle your playlist, what's the first song that comes up? (that should be a semicolon 😜)

Enter Sandman - Metallica

Icecream or cake? (ice-cream!!! Hyphens exist!!!)

Cake

Can you do your own makeup?

Nope

Ever written fanfiction?

Surprisingly, yes

How many blogs do you follow?

341

Do you brush your teeth before you eat?

You mean before every meal???? I don't do that! But I normally brush my teeth before breakfast

Type of phone you have?

Samsung Galaxy S20 5G apparently

What's your first choice at the vending machine?

BBQ Mini Cheddars (or crisps, to be less specific)

Beach or pool?

BEACH

Least favourite condiment?

I don't know? I think I love them all?

How much sugar in your tea/coffee?

None because I only drink chamomile tea

Ever broken a bone?

No

Rings or necklaces?

Necklaces (but I very rarely wear jewellery because I forget it exists)

Do you still play Minecraft?

I love Minecraft!!!! But I usually only play it at Christmas

Ever ridden a motorcycle? (MOTORBIKE 😡)

No

Favourite holiday?

Christmas ^^

Opinion on 3-in-1 body wash?

What is this question?? 😂

Practical, but I don't trust it

Do you follow politics?

Not really. I like taking online quizzes though so I've done this a few times, and that's as far into the world of politics as I'll go xD (WHY AM I NOT FURTHER LEFT??? I SHOULD BE FURTHER LEFT?? THIS CONCERNS ME??)

Your instagram handle?

I'm not sharing it on here! I've been thinking about giving you my normal insta though, Fransiska (if you want it)

[illyaana]

Homebound to you - Sasha Blaus

I can't find the artist on Tumblr (again (＞人＜；)) but this is the twitter post!

Synopsis: You are childhood friends with Sasha. This part is on how you grew up with Sasha and how she told you how she's joining the Training Corps. (if I tell anymore, it isn't a synopsis welp-)

Tags: Sasha x Binaural Reader, Fluff, SFW

Word Count: 2226

⋯⋯ ⫍ SFW Masterlist ◍ Navigation ⫎ ⋯⋯

Fanfiction Masterlist

The lush meadows of Dauper Village - the place both you called home.

It wasn’t one that you’d see written in the papers about its beauty. It was a hidden gem known by those who were willing to venture out and seek it. The forest welcomed you - the sounds of the woodland creatures and the wind against the bushes reminded you of life when you believed the world was much more peaceful than it was. The scene of an ocean blue stream of water surrounded by small animals was vivid in your memories.

“You don’t want to join me? It isn’t that dirty, trust me,” a 6-year-old Sasha said, gripping tightly onto the ends of your shirt.

Sasha Braus - the girl you’ve known ever since you were a kid.

No one could imagine the daughter of a hunter being friends - close friends - with the child of a scholar, but you both proved them wrong.

Sasha was your first ever friend. She was the one who made the introverted you more social with others.

She was the first person you truly cared for - nothing could’ve changed that.

Sasha played along a stream of water right beside the willow tree you both found the first time you ventured into the forest. She’d jump feet first into the stream, diverting the flow of water into multiple small streams before converging in the front of her feet. She loved seeing the small fishes play with each other as if they were racing to meet a bigger water source.

She’d beg you to join her in the small game - but you never did.

You wanted to steal every single moment with her in your eyes - to let it sink into the deepest parts of your brain.

“I’d rather stay dry, Sasha. My mom would kill me if I go back home with my clothes all wet,” your younger self said, trying to reason with her.

Sasha’s face immediately paled the minute you finished that sentence. She looked to her now soaked trousers. A ring of dried mud formed on the top half of her trousers decorated with dried leaves and vines.

“Why didn’t you warn me earlier?” she said, anger stricken on her face, “Mama is going to kill me now. I didn’t expect it to be this dirty.”

You chuckle at the red-faced girl in front of you.

This girl was meant for greatness - no one could deny that.

The adventurous side of hers could never be tamed.

It was wild and relentless - and you loved it to bits.

“You’re wearing shorts underneath, right?”

She nodded.

You sighed.

“Take off the trousers. I’ll wash them as best as I can and you sling it on your shoulder so that it can dry. That’s the best I can offer,” you told her.

In an instant, she ran to the bushes, took off her trousers and tossed them to you.

“You’re only 6-years old - how can you think like an adult at such a young age?” she said, an inquisitive look painted on her face.

“I grew up surrounding playful 6-year-olds, that’s why,” you said, teasing her, “I basically became their mom - looking after them, making sure they behaved well in public - I did it all.”

As time passed, Sasha became more than just a friend you used to look after.

You both became each others’ rocks - the very thing that kept each other from falling.

Sasha learnt how to hunt - to survive in the harsher world of the forest.

You learnt knowledge - to create and to move the world with a pen and paper.

You never saw Sasha hunt but you’ve pictured it billions of times.

You pictured her hazel-colored hair dancing in the air as she rode her horse. Her golden-brown eyes would focus solely on her target - they would force her victim to shudder and slow down, to become hers. Her muscles would flex under her thin shirt as he pulled the arrow in her hands against the bow - the tip fixed exactly at the weak point of her target. Then, with one swift release, her victim would fall and a rush of happiness would surge within her.

You could only draw it and picture it in your head, but how you wished to see her in action.

She’d always bring a huge portion of the meat she gained for your family. She’d say she caught more than she expected, but you could hear the rumbles from her parents.

Eventually, your families decided to move into one house to reduce the problems faced by the Braus family.

Your family would provide the income - the money to buy resources. The Braus family would help in gaining food and rationing out how much from the resources to use.

Even though your parents hated the idea of moving in with hunters, you were ecstatic.

You imagined a life with Sasha, and you were going to get a glimpse of it.

Every night, she’d come into your room with a cup of tea and talk about her hunt. You, on the other hand, would talk about what you’ve learnt for the day. Even though she never understood what you spoke on, she’d try her best to listen and even ask questions when she didn’t understand.

You taught Sasha how to use a quill while she taught you the wonders of the wild.

Sasha entered your room in the middle of the night. She had her blanket wrapped around her as she held two mugs of tea.

She saw how you continued to study throughout the night. You’d use an oil lamp as a light source as you crammed for all the future tests and exams you were going to face.

She hated the sight of you slowly losing energy. The eyebags under your eyes intensified each day. You didn’t smile as much as you used to. You lost the energy you had when you were younger.

Yet Sasha managed to keep hers, just like you wanted.

“Tea break?” she suggested, pushing a mug into your hands, “I caught a deer today! Tomorrow, you’re eating venison - get ready!”

You shook your head in denial as you placed the mug on the table.

“I swear, Y/N,” she started, agitation clear in your voice, “I will burn all your books if you don’t stop and drink tea with me right now.”

You knew Sasha’s threatens were to be taken seriously. She seriously once burned an essay you needed to hand in the next day.

You immediately closed your book and placed the hot cup of Chamomile tea in your hands. The mug itself gave you warmth, making you sigh in content.

Sasha hopped on your bed, dropping the blanket to her sides. She closed her eyes as she brought the cup of hot tea to her nose, taking it in.

You swear that she almost looked like an angel at that moment.

Her soft locks now reached her shoulders - messy and tousled. The pale moonlight against her skin highlighted her features. The gold flecks in her eyes against the hazel shined - it even showed against the steam wafting from the cup. The scar on her left shoulder from one of her hunts showed through the almost see-through shirt, showing how strong she was as a warrior.

You smiled, leaning against your chair while taking in the beauty in front of you.

“Y/N?” Sasha called.

“Yeah?”

“When are you free?”

“I should be free by this Friday, my exams end then.”

“Oh...” she said, trailing off.

You walk to sit beside her and place your head on your shoulder. You felt her relax as he placed her head on top of yours.

“Is everything good?”

She begins rubbing her head against yours.

“I’m good. I’m just worried about the future, that’s all.”

“The world must be ending,” you joke, “You’re actually thinking ahead.”

Sasha flicked your forehead, “Stupid - of course, I need to!”

A silence formed between the two of you as you both stared at the sky from your windows. It was pitch black. Stars twinkled against the black canvas, dancing to a song only they knew. The clouds tried their best to hide the beauty of the night, but their efforts were in vain.

“I’m thinking of joining the Training Corps,” Sasha said, cutting the silence.

Your face paled.

“What?” you froze.

“I hate hiding in fear, Y/N. I hate the fact we stay hiding away from the thing that threatens our lives. We should be killing it rather than just killing animals for meat,” she said with a serious voice.

You put both of your finished mugs on the floor and grab Sasha’s hands, forcing her to face you.

“Sasha, you might die. You might never see your parents again, you might lose everything,” tears form in your eyes, “I can’t lose you, Sasha - not now, not ever.”

She smiles while wiping the formed tears in your eyes.

“Bold of you to assume I’ll die the minute I see Titans,” she says.

She pulls you out of the bed, dusting off her shirt.

“We’re going out for a while. Get ready for an adventure after so many years, Y/N L/N.”

You both snuck out of the house and got on her horse. With one nudge from her, you both rode off into the forest. Through the dark greens emerged fireflies that lit the view before you. You spotted the eventful stream, the sleeping woodland creatures and the plants that reminded you of your childhood.

You turned to face the back of Sasha, and you were in awe.

She looked exactly like how you pictured her to look.

Her dancing hair, her flowing skirt, her smile - everything - it was what you imagined.

You wrapped your arms around her waist, pulling yourself closer to you. You pressed your head against her back, earning a chuckle from the horse rider.

“You better come home to me, Sasha Braus. I will never forgive you if you don’t.”

“As if I won’t.”

She signaled the horse to stop at the willow tree you used to spend most of your childhood days at.

She gets off the horse and runs to the tree. Her fingers slowly graze the tree, reminiscing all the memories you both have made right here.

“You know,” she started, “I used to stare at you reading those books of yours under this tree. The wind would blow softly for you when you perched yourself under the tree, but the vines of leaves at its branches would move so much. It was as if they were dancing for you. Even if I brought a drink or a snack, you’d just give me your portion and continue to read those books, but when I wanted you to talk to me, you’d instantly put the book down and give all your attention to me.”

“Well,” you say, “I’d always look up once in a while and see you play with the animals in that little bush there,” you point at the bush covered by fireflies, “I’d see you try picking up squirrels and capture butterflies wondering what goes on in your head.”

You get off the horse and walk towards Sasha.

“I’ll miss this the most when I leave, I think. This small haven we made from trees will always be my first home.”

You hug Sasha from behind, gripping onto her loose shirt.

“It’s happening, isn’t it? I can’t talk you out of it, can I?” you say, sniffles stopping you from speaking clearly.

She shook her head and you sigh, feeling defeated.

“Y/N, pass those exams and get into the Royal Capital. I will enter the Military Police and I’ll meet you within Wall Sheena.”

“I’ll try to get everyone to move. Then, we all will be together again,” you say, building your resolve.

Sasha turns to face you. The minute she sees you, she begins to laugh hysterically.

“You look like a lost puppy,” she says as she touches your cheek, “I’ll miss you, Y/N.”

You press your foreheads against each other. You both instinctively close your eyes, enjoying the small moment you two were sharing.

You couldn’t imagine how your life was going to be without the bubbly presence only Sasha could give. To think there would be no more random rendezvous, no more jokes and no more stories from the girl in front of you made you feel the pain you didn’t want anyone to feel.

But you knew that Sasha had aspirations and dreams - you were in no place to stop her, even if her life was on the line.

The only thing you could do was to cherish this little moment with her before years without her begin.

Soon, a swarm of fireflies surrounded the two of you, giving you a clear view of the woman before you. The bright, flickering lights enhanced the raw beauty only Sasha exemplified. Her eyes stared into yours, begging you to say something.

It was only fair to do this now. If it didn’t happen now, you don’t know when you’ll have the chance again.

“I love you, Sasha Braus. Ever since I was kids I-”

“I love you too, Y/N.”

Your lips met under a firefly-lit forest under the willow tree in your safe haven.

Wanna request something or just wanna talk? Go ahead and send me an ask here! If you want to send a request, please check my guidelines to see what I am comfortable with. Thanks for reading <3

[emilythornegrayson]

Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes and Helmut Zemo were welcomed into Sharon's house after arriving in the city looking for the Power Broker, almost being killed in the confrontation that resulted in Sibil's death, so they could get their hands on the serums and, on the scientist who was making them.

Sharon, who had thrown a party that night in her art gallery, agreed to take the three in the morning to the scientist's given location.

But what worried her was that, Fury had only given her one mission in which, she failed miserably.

Protecting Sam and Bucky was the main reason and not taking them to danger.

And as she was the Power Broker, danger was knocking on her door every day.

But how could she say no to the boys without being suspicious of her and ruining her disguise?

And in that way, sleeping was extinguished from your list of things before the mission.

Sitting un the kitchen where, she drank a long cup of chamomile tea, she was thoughtful about what to do from now on.

"It looks like it wasn't just me who lost sleep tonight!"

Bucky Barnes said when entering the place.

"Staying awake helps me think! Do you want anything?"

She asked.

"A glass of water would be great, thanks!"

Bucky said as he sat down at the table.

She could see that he was perspiring and his face was more serious than usual. He looked overwhelmed by something. Something that had happened a long time ago, precisely.

"Are you okay?"

She asked worriedly as she held out the glass of water she had taken from him.

"I will stay!"

He just said it, taking the water and taking a long drink.

"You look awful!"

"I always look like this when the nightmares come!"

Bucky rested the glass on the coaster.

"I'm very sorry!" She gave him a friendly smile.

"At least today I didn't throw up then, I think I'm making a profit!"

Bucky frowned.

"Do you know what will help?"

She stood up.

"A nice cup of tea!"

He looked at it and saw it pour from the teapot, a yellowish, smoky substance with a mild odor. It turned out to be chamomile, perhaps.

"Nothing like a good cup of chamomile tea to calm your nerves and lift your spirits!"

And shre left it in front of him.

And it is not that he was right!? It was chamomile.

"You really are a lot like your aunt, you know?"

Sharon nodded and sat down again.

"But I'm not like her, so ..."

Bucky understood the weight of those words for her. The weight of Steve's actions certainly still bothered her in some way.

"Steve knows ... He just tried to be happy!"

Bucky whispered and touched her hand.

"Yeah, I know! But I can't blame him for loving her more than anything! I loved her in the same way! And now, he's there with my aunt!

Sharon looked at him.

"What I wouldn't give to be able to see her even if it was just for another second!"

"She has always been important to you, hasn't it?"

She then, gave him a heartfelt smile.

"Aunt Peggy was everything to me! Would give me the strength to continue even with the guilt consuming me!"

"About you being the Power Broken?"

Sharon's eyes widened.

"Sam may be too naive to notice, but me? Well, I was the Winter Soldier! And I know when the weight of the stock hurts!"

"What's next? Am I going to be arrested?"

"As far as I'm concerned, your secret is safe! I met your aunt and I know you, I know you have a good reason for doing this!"

Sharon brought her hand to the corner of her eyes to dry her tears.

"The deaths Karli caused were not your fault!"

Bucky pointed out, resting his hand on hers.

"I really want to believe, but I still can't!"

She sighed.

"You should! Your aunt would believe!"

》》》

After just over an hour talking about Peggy, Steve, SHIELD, about why she became the Power Broker at the request of Nick Fury, the mission and the next morning, Bucky and Sharon said goodbye, both going to their respective rooms .

She lay down on her bed and thought about how many things she had lost since got back.

She already knew about the episode of Bucky's nightmares, Sam told her how he helped him with a long conversation and drinks.

"But he didn't have my super chamomile tea!"

Sharon thought as she remembered hours ago. For her, the tea worked well, except for that night.

Three knockings were given on the door and she came back from her daydreams.

Getting up, she walked over to it and opened.

"Everything is fine?"

She asked when she saw Bucky at her door.

This one, wrapped his hands around her face and kissed her without saying anything.

Sharon was so taken aback that she couldn't even avoid the onslaught.

And if she could, who said she would?

And he kissed very well.

Oh God, how he kissed!

His tongue explored her mouth like a traveler exploring the world.

She wanted to be stuck in that stolen kiss, but when she realized where things were going, she didn't get upset about stopping.

Bucky had pinned her to the newly closed bedroom door and his metal arm tightened his grip on her waist while his lips traced the warm skin of her neck.

"What are we doing here?"

She asked timidly.

"Whatever you want me to do!"

Bucky stared at her with blue eyes, overflowing with lust.

"I don't want you to get hurt because of me!"

"I'm not going to get hurt! Trust me!"

She just didn't think about anything else.

Wrapped herself around his neck and gave a boost to her lap.

Her legs intertwined crossed at his waist and her mouth went to meet Barnes's.

In the middle of a lascivious kiss, he took her in his arms towards her bed, where he laid her gently and taking off his shirt, threw it on the floor.

His hand was over her face.

"My God, you are so beautiful!"

Sharon gave him a small smile and he got the message because soon joined the bed, staying on top of her.

He gently helped her out of her nightgown, took her in his arms and made her his, like it was the last time, as if nothing else mattered, as if the whole world stopped and only they were left there.

Sharon came back from her memories when someone touched her shoulder. It was Barnes.

"Now that you've returned to the CIA, what's the next step?"

He handed her a drink.

"Mrs HYDRA really thinks I'm on her side, so it was easy to track her pawns in the government!"

Sharon turned to Bucky.

"I'm going to destroy them all, starting with Ross! They took everything from us James and now, they are going to pay!"

"Count on me for that! Nothing will make me happier than watching HYDRA fall!"

Bucky held out his glass to her in a toast.

Sharon did the same and looked at him, stating:

"It's time to tell Sam the truth!"

[crimsonfic]

Park Jimin Fanfiction (Injury)

"They won't let me perform." Jimin said walking back into our hotel room.

"Why?"

"Because of my neck."

"What's wrong with your neck?"

"It hurts. I can barely move, when I do it hurts bad."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Jimin sighed deeply. "I didn't tell anybody. I thought it would go away."

"Well how's that working for you?"

He sighed again. Apparently too deep this time.

"Shit!" He shouted.

He was so loud it startled me, despite the fact that I was looking right at him.

I got up as quick as I could.

"What...what can I do?" I asked him, darting over to him.

"Nothing." He said.

"What did the doctor say? Did they give you anything?"

"Yeah these muscle relaxers." He replied taking a bottle of pills out of his pocket.

I took them from him and read the label.

I tsk'd in disapproval.

"What?" He asked.

"These won't work. All they'll do is put you to sleep and make you high. Not actually release the strain."

"So....I shouldn't take them?"

"No."

"Then what do I do?"

"Sit down."

He walked over to the bed and hissed in pain standing up just as quickly as he sat down.

"Sit on the floor and put your back against the wall." I told him gesturing towards the wall. When he sat down I spoke.

"Okay, I'll be back. Try not to move."

"Where are you going?"

"To the store."

"Not by yourself you're not."

"I'll be fine."

"No."

"Jimin, it's broad daylight."

"You're not going by yourself."

"Watch me." I replied with a roll of my eyes.

Jimin tried to get up but winced in pain.

"Just sit still. I'll be back no later than an hour."

"I'm supposed to sit here for an hour?" He asked. Eyes still shut in pain.

"Want me to ask Jim to come in here to keep you company?" I asked him, referring to one of their body guards.

"No. Just hurry back. And please be careful." He sighed quickly.

"Okay." I said before grabbing my purse and phone before leaving out.

I had to find a store where I could get the supplies I needed to mix him a natural remedy to help relax his muscles, and the ingredients for a tea to also help.

I took one of the vans and went on my journey. I found a really nice natural store with so many things. I got everything I needed and then some.

I made it back to the hotel in less than an hour.

When I walked in to our room of the suite, Jimin followed me with his eyes.

"You got a lot." He commented.

"Yep." I replied nonchalantly setting the bags down and taking out what I would need first.

I walked into the bathroom and ran him a bath. A scorching bath. I was pleased the water could get as hot as I wanted it to. Next, I added drops of chamomile to the bath, along with a neutral bubble bath I found at the store. I also dropped in cramp bark.

I walked back out to the bedroom and used the instant coffee maker to heat him up some water for the tea.

"Take your clothes off." I told Jimin.

He struggled to get up, but eventually he did.

He took his clothes off like I said and just stood, waiting for my next order.

I turned to him before making his tea and told him to get in the tub.

He obliged, with no protest.

I walked back into the bathroom with his tea.

"Here" I said handing him the cup and sitting on the edge of the huge jacuzzi tub.

"It smells good." He replied sniffing it.

"Good. Drink it." I said with a smile.

After tasting he sighed.

"That's good."

I didn't say anything, just watched as his expression became one of delight.

He's so gorgeous.

Sometimes I can't even stand to look at him. Like it's overwhelming how good looking he is.

"Um...." Jimin began with a sheepish smile.

I took his cup and went to make another tea for him.

"Thank you." He smiled back.

"No problem." I replied.

He finished it quickly, despite it being hot. It must've been soothing him more than I anticipated.

He sunk down deeper into the tub until the water touched his chin and sighed.

"What are these sticks?" He asked.

"Cramp bark"

He raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything more.

After moments of just watching him I got up and went back into the room to lay down.

"You okay?" Jimin called from the bathroom.

"Yes."

"How long do I stay in here?"

"Until it gets cold."

"Cold....or warm?"

"Cold!"

Jimins laugh floated out of the bathroom.

"Okay."

20 minutes later Jimin walked out of the bathroom in a robe.

"My fingers are pruny." He said showing me his fingers.

"If that water isn't cold you're in trouble." I said getting up to go check the temperature.

Hmm. More warm than it is cold, but I'll let it go for now.

"Here" I said to him walking past him to make him a cup of juice.

"What's this?" He asked coming up beside me.

"Cherry juice. It's gonna be quite tart but you have to drink it."

He nodded his head and took the cup.

He made a face but finished it and handed the cup back.

He'll have to drink a lot tonight, so for now I won't press him to drink more.

"Lay down." I said pointing to his bed.

He walked over to the bed, but before he got in it I had to stop him.

"Without your robe and on your stomach."

He looked at me. A questioning look on his face.

"You can put on underwear." I said in reply to his face.

He laughed and then walked over to his suitcase before taking his robe off and getting dressed.

Then he got in the bed. Trying to get comfortable by laying his head on his arms. He made a noise of discomfort but managed to stay that way.

I grabbed my bottle of oils and took them out of the hot cup of water they've been sitting in since Jimin was in the tub. I put a little on my finger to make sure they were warm.

"Can I touch you?" I asked Jimin as I came to stand beside him.

"Absolutely." He replied.

I put my hand where his neck and shoulder meets and softly pressed down.

He let out a breath, which told me that this was a problem area. I kept pressing down in different areas of his neck and back and shoulders until I found all the problem areas. To be honest it was pretty much everything. No wonder they wouldn't let him perform.

I poured some oil onto his back, causing him to sigh in contentment. The warmth of the oil instantly relaxing.

I began massaging the oil onto his skin.

His breathing was a bit erratic at times as he tried to take the pressure I was putting on him.

After working on his neck and upper back for quite some time I moved down to his lower back and waist.

I used both hands to push down on his lower back, causing him to moan.

It sent a jolt through me. 

There's no way I should let this arouse me. I continued what I was doing while also telling myself to relax.

I massaged him for an hour, while he drifted in and out of wakefulness. I worked the oil all over his skin so he wouldn't be greasy as I finished.

"All done."

"Thank you." He whispered in that sweet voice of his.

"You're welcome."

"I feel better. Less pain, and more of a.....soreness now. If that makes sense."

"It does. We'll have to do all of this again tomorrow to get you back to normal. We'll also have to stretch."

"Okay."

"Also, when you fall sleep I'll have to massage you again."

"How do you know so much about this stuff?"

"My nonna."

"Nonna? Is that your grandma?"

"Yes. She's a witch." I laughed recalling the name kids in my neighborhood used to call her. People are so stupid.

"Oh, well that's cool." Jimin replied.

I looked over at him. Surprised by the neutral expression on his face.

"I'm just kidding." I told him.

"Oh okay. Cool. I didn't want to be rude."

I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

"You think witches are real?"

"Idk. Could be." He laughed again.

I smiled at his goofiness.

"Sit down, you've been on your feet too long."

He said softly, still smiling.

I rolled my eyes, but sat down on my bed.

"Why don't you sit over here with me?" He asked.

I shrugged my shoulders and smiled at him.

He cautiously pushed himself up and then moved over before patting the spot he was just laying in.

I got up and sat there. Resting my back against the head board.

Jimin laid his head on the pillow next to my hips and wrapped his arm around me, his hand now resting against the side of my butt.

"Your hips are getting bigger." He replied.

"Yeah that's what babies do to you I guess." I said sarcastically.

"Our baby is gonna be mean because of you." Jimin chuckled.

"I'm not mean."

"What do you call it?"

"(Y/n)." I replied.

"Ha ha....also known as...the mean queen."

I couldn't help the laugh that came out of me.

I stopped laughing abruptly as I felt the baby kick my 6 month stomach.

"What's wrong?" Jimin asked.

I grabbed his hand and put it on my stomach in the spot where I felt the kick.

When he kicked again he smiled.

"Our prince agrees with us. You're the mean queen. Isn't that right baby?" He said talking to my stomach.

The baby had the nerve to kick again. I gasped. Jimin was turning the baby against me.

Jimin began laughing and then kissed my stomach.

"That's my boy." He said.

"Go to sleep Jimin." I said.

"Whatever you want." He laughed.

I smiled and then rested my head back letting my eyes close.

*********

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Injury | Insecurity | Part 4

[emerald-amidst-gold]

🍓 For Fane?? :D

*waltz into the room* Why, hello, friend! You've come asking after the dragon, have you? He's here. He's always here, even when I'm not writing. X'D

So! Fane facts! >:D

Lately, I've been delving into 'hows' with Fane. Like, 'how does he handle specific situations', 'how does he cope', 'how does he function when he feels that he can't function'. I've also been playing with his relationships with other members because...I've ignored that large chunk of development in favor of fleshing out he and Solas' dynamic. (And that took me forever. Let me tell you.)

As such, a few 'oddities' with Fane. Namely, some mental afflictions.

--I may have mentioned this in writing and in little short stories, but Fane has a tendency to 'dig' into his arms when he crosses them. If he's getting annoyed, uncomfortable, or, and this is something he tries very hard to conceal, scared then he starts to squeeze at his arms; hug himself, basically.

--Fane has agoraphobia. Agoraphobia is simplistically categorized as being fearful or anxious of unfamiliar situations or places. Basically, you experience panic attacks, anxiety attacks, and feelings of paranoia when in areas that you feel unsafe (unknown venues, situations in which you're unsure of how to act, etc.) Most cases show many people choosing to 'hide away' or stay at home to avoid such distressing occurrences. Your mind already knows how you'll react and so you take steps to avoid it altogether. I'm hoping to show it in my writing, but you'll see that Fane has to be literally dragged to go to certain places and when does go to those places he...shuts down.

--Fane is also claustrophobic. This is from two things, but I'll only share one because the other is a major spoiler for his overall identity. The reason I'll share is because of his father's experiments. He was bound many times, in many places, but in an attempt to make it stop, Fane hid. In closets, in chests, in barrels, in hollowed out trees. As such, he associates tight spaces with those events and he's terrified of them. *laughs nervously* Descent material~

Onto some miscellaneous tidbits! :D

--Spirits tend to flock towards Fane if he's in the Fade. Primarily, ones of Love/Devotion or Tenacity.

--Fane used to detest any type of tea, but once Vivienne introduced him to chamomile tea (she was helping him find alternatives to sleep powders and magic to help him sleep), he can't go a night without at least a single cup.

--Fane is easily mistaken for a human if he wears a cowl and cloak. As long as his eyes and hair and ears aren't on display, he moves through without much trouble.

--Red Lyrium, as we know, sings and does all sorts of funky shit. However, Fane doesn't hear 'singing', he hears chanting--beats, thumps. There's voices, and those voices are what causes him to destroy a node without thinking. In a way, he can sense the Taint, like a Warden can in darkspawn and in other Wardens. It pushes him towards an edge he never wishes to fall from. So, like the dragons are said to do in Inquisition, he avoids red lyrium as much as he can.

--To follow from the above, Fane has extreme resistance to the Blight. So, later on down the line, when he's more or less taking on darkspawn without a shred of fear, letting the blood mix with his own wounds or finding it in his mouth, many of the Inner Circle is like, 'o.o'. While Solas is like, '-_-'.

--His favorite color is blue, but he never wears the shade. And despite how he associates depression, despair, and insanity with red and black, he wears those shades the most. (There's a reason~)

--Actually is fond of halla, despite the associations they have with Ghilan'nain and their connection to the Dalish.

--Fane, despite his difficulty at being vulnerable, has a fairly easy time saying, 'I love you'. Though, this is in regards to Solas. With Mhairi...it's a bit harder. For a lot of reasons.

--Is/was acquainted with Wisdom. All New, Faded For Her just got a whole lot crazier, and that's where both of Fane and Solas' darker sides get put on display. When I get to it, it'll give an idea of the types of extents Fane and Solas are both willing to go.

And I think that's it! I have more, but I would be writing an essay if I continued! X'D Suffice it to say, I've been working on Fane a lot because while I don't want people to solely see 'victim', I also don't want them to see solely the harshness. Mental struggles are just that; struggles. We do things we know we really shouldn't do because we see no other alternatives to cope, or we weren't given the tools to properly cope. Fane makes things difficult at times, and he knows that, but the mind is cruel and it does what it wants while saying, 'Your fault.'. I guess what I'm getting at is that...I want to make Fane 'realistic' in how he acts in response to his trauma and the reality is, it doesn't get fixed overnight.

Okay! I'll stop yapping! I get on my mental health rants and I can't stop! But, thank you so much for dropping by and allowing me to ramble! <3