#I cannot wait to see what the next chapters in my life will reveal to me

[therootednomad]

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[uglypastels]

Not Wholly Evil |IX| pirate!Eddie au [NSFW]

a/n we are getting so close to the endddd oh my god i am so excited and sad at the same time because i don't want this story to end as much as some of you, but I also cannot wait to share my next lil projects with you 🥰 thank you for all the support on the last chapter!

this chapter will include explicit scenes. Minors DO NOT Interact. 18+. if you have read the previous chapters but do/should not wish to consume this content, please read:

Chapter 9 (safe for work version)

Series Masterlist

word count: 13k

"semi dark fic" - READ the warnings:. (gun/sword)violence. blood. mention of severe wounds. minor character death. allusions to suicide. kidnapping. imprisonment. alcohol. open and deep sea. near-death experiences in water. men are pigs: mentions of non-con, but it does not actually occur. [in-dream] non-consensual behaviour. malnourishment and weight loss. paranoia. mention of poisoning. abuse. manhandling. lying. small wounds inflicted by fire. blackmail. binds and knifes. SMUT 18+ ONLY, MDNI - p in v sex. oral (f receiving). no condom (this isn't the 18th century. wrap it before you tap it). choking. thigh riding. jealous!eddie.

Chapter 9: Paragon

“Perhaps the wolf wasn't quite so dangerous as he pretended. Unfortunately, there was only one way to find out for sure——give him a little rope and see if he hung himself… And pray that he didn't tie her up with it instead.”

― Sabrina Jeffries, Dance of Seduction

He looked like he saw a ghost. And maybe he had. You didn’t feel like yourself, so who was to say if you were still alive? You had comprehended how you carried yourself back to the Hellfire. Standing in his room felt like you were looking down at yourself. Aware of everything around you but understanding none of it.

‘I thought you had left.’ He stepped into the room, leaving the door wide open. As he walked, you noticed he was clearing the way for you, allowing you to leave if you wanted to. His eyes were intently focused on yours and threaded lightly. Like any wrong move would cause you to disappear.

‘I wanted to,’ you admitted. You still wanted to. Your thoughts had screamed through the night for an escape. Yet, something tied you down to this ship and made you return.

‘Then why didn’t you?’ He came closer, and so did you. That string pulled at your ribs again, pulling you two closer. You had tried long enough to fight it to no avail. Whatever you thought you wanted did not compare to your subconscious need to be next to him. 

‘I don’t know.’ Deep down, you knew the reason, but the time was not there yet to admit it. In your mind, you still despised everything about him, this ship, the crew, and, therefore, yourself for needing his touch as much as you did at this moment. It was weak to give in to him like you did.

The candle’s light fell upon him at angles that brought something new out in him or maybe revealed what had always been there. The signs of the wear and tear of a life at sea. He wasn’t hiding it any more, letting all that pain be visible, and he looked beautiful. You held back from reaching out and tracing the thin scar against his brow or the flawed line of his nose that must have been broken once. The longer you looked at him, the more you realised that you could look at him in this way forever. 

And that scared you. 

Munson walked past you to his desk, occupying himself with whatever he could reach. It would have been good for you to have something to focus on instead of him, but you stood in the middle of the room with nothing but him to clutch onto. Neither of you spoke, stuck in an awkward limbo, tiptoeing around one another to see who would be the first to step over that line. The line that had kept you, your heart, safe until now. You could impossibly predict what was to happen if it was crossed.

The ship creaked as the tide softly bounced off it. For the rest, it was uncharacteristically quiet on board.

‘Is the rest coming as well? Will we be departing soon?’ It was ridiculous to change the topic in this manner, but you simply did not know what else to say, and this barrier between you and him was dreadful. You could sense it in the middle, waiting for that catalyst to burst. And you wanted it to. Just how?

‘No, I doubt they realised I’ve gone.’ He finally turned back to face you, leaning against the desk, arms crossed, eyes on the ground. If he could just look at you—would that make things easier or that much harder?

‘Why did you? Leave the tavern, I mean.’ With your heart pounding in your throat, tightening your breath, you stepped toward him. 

‘I noticed you were gone. Then I heard you had gone to the harbour with some man and I thought…. I grew worried.’

‘Why?’ You could not imagine him caring for you to go out, away from his crew and his festivities, to look for you. 

‘I know what you’re thinking, and at first, yes, I was thinking about the money,’ he admitted, which took you aback. You took a step closer. ‘But then I—when I realised, or thought, that I had actually lost you, I thought about how I would never see you again, and I realised—’ his words faded as you took your final step towards, letting your chest press against his. He finally let his eyes meet yours. 

‘Realised what?’ Considering your proximity and seclusion, you hadn’t meant to whisper, but it felt right. 

‘That I was scared’ His breath was shaky as his eyes took all of you in. ‘Of loosing you.’

‘I was scared too.’ And maybe that is what kept you from leaving. The idea that if you would go, there was a possibility that you would never see him again, and it was enough to hollow out your entire being with dread. It felt wrong. But that gnawing in your chest stayed there the whole night, even when you had returned to the Hellfire, and it only left once you felt his fingers intertwine with yours. A flutter of a touch at the fingertips.

‘And? Are you still scared?’ He matched your hushed tone with his response. The question was simple on its surface, but only the facade for an obliterating iceberg was the truth. 

‘No.’ Standing in front of him, feeling his breath on you, the warmth that radiated off him, his gentle touch on your skin, seeing the smile hiding in his features, you saw nothing to be scared of anymore. There was nothing to fear anymore. The voice in you that had screamed for help all those days was silenced for a final time when you leaned in to kiss him.

His lips were chapped, cheeks rough with scars and the light shadowy scruff of a beard. His touch was featherlight, as if he was scared to pursue it as if you were to break underneath him. It starkly contrasted the force he had pulled you in with hours before. The intensity had been dizzying, and yet this was what genuinely shut your mind down entirely. But you could tell that he was not there yet wholly. Something kept him guarded. 

You pulled away, but your lips still shared the same breath. When you opened your eyes, you were met with his and how they were shaking with uncertainty as he took all of you in. 

‘Is there something you’re still afraid of?’ you asked.

‘Many things,’ his hand found its place on your waist, ‘but mostly of myself,’ and gently pushed you away. ‘And what I will do to you. I have made so many mistakes, mistakes that hurt you, already in that I will have to live it for my eternity, but I do not know what I will do if I make one again.’ 

There was silence as you took in his words. You understood them, possibly more than anyone could, for they were yours. As your lips met, you thought if what you were doing would lead to your doom, if it would all end in a disaster, but could something that felt so right be so devastating?

He had let his eyes fall to the ground. You reclaimed the one step he had made you take, closing the gap between you once more and letting your hand guide him to look up at you.

‘Do you think that kiss was a mistake?’ Your heart beat faster than it ever had as you waited for an answer, but his lips remained shut, so you continued. ‘If so, do not play with my heartstrings, but tell me, and I will leave. I will return to my cell, and you can lock me up and never see me again until you bring me back home.’ It would only be a couple of days, and it would hurt to mend this extremely fragile piece of you that you had just opened, but like all wounds do, it would heal eventually.

‘Answer me, captain.’ You kept your voice as steady as possible, regaining the confidence you had built up since you got onto the ship. ‘Was that a mistake?’

‘No.’ And with that one final word, you both leaned in for a kiss. Your hand was still on his cheek, his holding you tightly, but you still felt that urge to pull yourself closer to him. As you felt the press of his chest fully against yours, he actually pulled his lips away from yours. He hesitated but finally spoke against the corner of your mouth. ‘But… call me Eddie. Please.’ 

You couldn’t help but smile into your next kiss. Just like that, all that weight of the world fell off both your shoulders, down into the depths of the ocean, never to be seen again. You didn’t hold back with this newfound freedom when you pushed him up against the desk. The furniture shuffled with a creak over the floor, and you could hear some things topple over at the impact. Still, neither of you cared, too occupied with one another. He could just about manage to extend his hand and begin to push all the loose items off the desk to make space for himself. The papers flew around you, and all the measurement equipment clattered onto the crowd. 

As the kiss intensified, Eddie shrugged and smoothly sat up on the desk, pulling you in with him. As he slowly let himself fall back, you followed, attached by the lips, hands, and hearts, until you practically lay on top, arms keeping you up from falling entirely onto him. Well, one hand, as the other found him and laced your fingers together once more. He had tried to make more space around you, pushing objects aside, when he cursed loudly.

You startled away and saw the clench in his jaw as he took a deep breath. He must have read your panic-stricken face as he showed you his hand. ‘It’s alright,’ his voice was calm, humour peaking through it. ‘I might have just put my hand right into the flame.’ And indeed, the side of his hand was glowing red. 

Hearing this did not put your mind at rest as you tried to grab his hand and inspect the damage more deeply, but he pulled it away from you, instead taking your fingers in his and kissing your knuckles. 

‘Don’t worry, my darling,’ he smiled while kissing your hand, ‘Can barely feel it.’

He had just made direct contact with fire; you doubted it would be alright, but then again, you had seen all the scars on his body. This would just be another small blister among the list of many. But you blinked the thought away. Tried your best to not think about the pain he had endured. You doubted he wanted you to feel pity for him and what had once happened to him. 

The look in his eyes was adamant. He needed you to let it go, so all you could do was sigh.

‘You’ve gone mad.’ 

Eddie chuckled at your comment as he let his lips travel over your wrist, over the length of your arm. ‘As mad as any other sane man.’ His kisses moved over the material of your shirt. The lack of contact that was so clearly there shot sparks of anticipation through you, but he took his time taking you all in until his lips reached your collar. He had practically strained his neck to reach you from his position. Some of you wanted to back away to see how far he would follow you, but your weaker portion gave into his touch and melted over it. 

He had just kissed your neck, sparking a fire through you on the spot, when a noise boomed over the silent ship, bursting you out of the solitary moment of bliss. In an instant, Eddie held you by the hips as he gently pushed you off him and got himself back on the ground. There was an alarm in his features, and so, when he looked at you and told you to “Stay here”, for once, you listened.

He closed the door behind him as he left to see what the noise was, and when minutes later, he had not returned, but there had also not been any more ruckus or signs of danger; you calmed down. Unsure of what to do now, you lay down on the bed. In the past few days, the bed had gotten more comfortable as you got used to it, but it still felt strange. You lay down on your side, facing the wall. The patterns in the wooden planks almost seemed to move in the shadowy light and, unfortunately for you, brought you into a trance of clarity and thoughts.

What were you doing? How could you have let all this happen? Kissing the man that had caused the death of so many people that you had deemed friends. How could you betray their souls by… by falling for him? You had lost control of all your feelings and emotions. 

It was a trick of the sea. You had simply been captured on this ship for so long that you did not know what was wrong or right. How else could you explain the yearning feeling that still circulated through you? Why else did you wish he was still here with you, touching you?

With all these thoughts occupying your mind, you must have missed Eddie walking back into the room, mumbling something about how it had been a few of his crew that stumbled back up to the ship. Too busy with your own mind, you did not hear him calling your name softly, assuming you had fallen asleep and telling you good night. You did not hear how deflated the last words came from his mouth. You only caught the sound of the door closing behind him. 

And soon you managed to turn all these thoughts off and fall asleep. Except then, they came back even stronger and in the form of dreams. You found yourself back on the Red Tail. The hawk flapped its wings on the flag in the wind and every man’s uniform. The sun shone brightly in its last few minutes before hiding behind the horizon. It was a strange illusion as you stared down at the ship and the two figures that stood out looking at the sparkling sea. You watched yourself talking to Admiral Carver.

‘I would have imagined you to have grown tired of the water by now,’ he laughed.

‘I won’t say I will be happy to return home, but I can’t ever see myself becoming tired of this view. It is beautiful.’ You leaned forward onto the balustrade and breathed in the salty air. ‘Besides, you have done this for much longer than I have, and you’re here too, so it can’t be that bad.’ It seemed it was only your first expedition while he had crossed the world several times. If anyone was to grow tired of it, you thought it would be him. 

‘Perhaps you’re right,’ he had his arms behind his back, ‘but everything is more bearable when there is something back home to look forward to.’ 

‘I suppose so.’ You would not exactly know what he meant. Of course, you could not wait to see your father again, and your friends, but nothing at home gave you the sense that it genuinely anchored you there or drew your heart in for your return. ‘I am sure you miss your family very much.’

‘Yes, of course,’ He took a step closer to you, ‘but I will miss these moments.’

‘Oh,’ you were startled by his proximity, unsure how to respond. Politely, you smiled and tried to keep the conversation going, ‘I’ve enjoyed them too, uhmm-’, but you were suddenly thrown off-guard when you felt his hands on you. Before he had the chance to do anything, you were quick to push him off. ‘What are you doing?’

‘Taking our last chance before it’s too late.’ He leaned in again, and you stepped back. 

‘What about your–’

‘She does not need to know.’ The sea was a free playing field for most men, so what happened out there was not up to the women at home to know. You had seen adultery but never thought the admiral would participate in such activities. He had been drinking; maybe he wasn’t thinking straight. Before he would make any more mistakes, you attempted to walk away, but he caught you by the arm, putting all his strength into the hold.

‘Admiral, you’re hurting me.’ You tried to pull your arm back, and this is where things began to change. Where the dream made itself apparent. Carver’s handsome features turned into vicious angles as he spoke. 

‘So you’ll kiss Munson, but not me?’ 

‘What- what are you–’ you tried to get away, but it was as if he grew in size. And there were flashes. These flashes of light. Like lightning, there was no thunder, rain, or light. It blinded you, and you tried to regain your sight by blinking, but each time you did so, he seemed to change right in front of you. 

There was him like you knew him, but the next second he turned into this nightmarish version of himself, but there were moments when he wasn’t himself at all. You’d blink, and suddenly you saw Captain Munson. Still in that uniform, however, you would try to make sense of it all. Still, before you could, he would disappear again, and you would be looking into Carver’s blank eyes, and you’d see the blood dripping from his mouth as he spat out his words.

‘Don’t trust him.’

‘What?’ You had tears in your eyes, and your wrist burned from his touch. There was another flash of light. Eddie stood before you again, just as you knew him. 

‘Do not trust him.’

Don’t trust who? Who were you meant to trust, then? The questions rang through you as you woke up, head throbbing with pain, limbs sore and dehydrated. If you did not know any better, you would have blamed the rum you consumed the night before on everything, making you imagine all that had happened. Still, the sensation that Eddie had left on your whole body felt too real to be just a drunken dream or nightmare.

He was not in the cabin when you awoke, but you could hear him outside, yelling commands out. When you looked outside the window, you could tell by how the waves moved that you had departed the Saint Claire harbour and were on your way again.

You sat up in bed but remained still afterwards, uncertain what to do next. Some part of you wanted to go outside and see Eddie, talk to him about whatever it was that had happened that night. Still, a bigger side of you doubted you could ever look him in the eye again. Seeing your reflection from the glass doors of a cabinet in the room, of yourself in his bed, made you feel bad enough. So, staying in the room for the rest of the day was not an option either. You were already at the door, hand on the handle, when it opened, nearly crashing into you. 

‘Sorry,’ his apology was muffled. 

‘I was just on my way out,’ you muttered in the same awkward tone and walked past him. 

‘Wait,’ Eddie reached for you, and the memory of your dream of Carver made you retract away from him, regretting it as soon as you did. Eddie wasn’t him, but you treated him the same because of something your exhausted mind had decided to conjure up. Eddie kept his distance. ‘Can we talk?’

‘Later,’ you pleaded. This was not the right time. You could tell that it would not end well if you stayed there. 

But when would it be right? When would the stars align correctly for you to speak? It certainly wasn’t the next two days, as you kept walking in circles around eachother. You avoided him like the plague, and it was unlikely that he had not noticed yet. 

You kept yourself occupied with anyone else but him, really. Talking to Robin, Steve, and anyone else who seemed to require company as much as you. Almost as much, at least. It shocked you as well as them how smoothly the conversations went. While only a little was exchanged, neither side being too keen on sharing too much of their past, somehow, you still managed to fill hours with polite pleasantries. Some even showed you how to work around the ship, probably more than happy to give you some of their workload now. You didn’t mind. It was alright if it stopped you from overthinking everything that had happened in the past weeks. But it was still hard to do when you felt Eddie’s eyes on you. He’d watch you work the sails or anything else from afar, but when you’d try and catch him, he’d be suddenly occupied with something and walk away. 

The biggest surprise, however, came one evening when everyone had gathered for their final meal of the day. You had gotten your portion and were ready to return to the cabin when Robin pointed to the seat between her and Steve. You wanted to politely decline, feeling like you did not strictly belong in this dynamic—the crew’s meals felt more sacred, a moment for them to spend together, but they all saw your argument coming and shut it down. 

‘Never thought I’d say this,’ Wheeler, one of the lankier crewmates, said at some point, ‘but I might actually miss you.’ There was a cloud of agreeable laughter to which you belonged. It was funny, but what scared you was that you would miss them too when that eventual day of your return home would come. 

And it was coming.

Something about the air around you began to feel more familiar each day. And when you talked to Robin, you could sense that she knew how much time there was left. But each time you asked, she avoided answering straightforwardly. 

‘Not sure. But you know how seatravels are, you can never be sure… I mean, we should have been there days ago and yet,’ she laughed nervously, tying knots in a piece of old rope that someone had cut off once. 

‘I suppose you’re right.’ You had your own piece of rope and were toying with the frayed ends, pulling them apart mindlessly. You could hear Eddie talking to someone somewhere around, and you did your best not to look up. It had been days, but your tension still felt raw and strange. You wanted to simultaneously run into his arms and run away from him as far as possible, and you could not figure out which urge was the right one to follow.

‘It probably won’t take much longer, don’t worry.’ Robin said, her shoulder slumping as she untied another knot to remake it.

‘I’m not worried,’ you admitted. 

‘No, and you don’t need to be,’ Robin panicked, not wanting to give you the wrong impression of what she had intended to say, ‘but I’m sure you’ll be glad to be home.’ To this, you had no response because, very much like in your last days on your old ship, you had been eagerly awaiting your return home but did not feel like you were actually happy to go back. On top of that, you actually had the sense that you would miss this crew. By leaving, you would be leaving something behind, and you had never felt that before.

But it still did not feel right. Like a kink in your neck that you were trying to stretch out until it disappeared.

‘Can I ask you something?’ you said cautiously. 

Robin glanced up from her rope. ‘You always scare me when you say that.’ 

‘I hadn’t noticed I did it often.’ 

‘You’re quite inquisitive. It’s commendable, but dangerous.’

‘Should I be scared?’ You blinked. 

‘Not here, but in other parts of the world they’re not too keen on it, so just beware.’ She had tied a knot she couldn’t loosen anymore. ‘But what was your question?’ 

You took a deep breath. ‘Why did you target the Red Tail? And I know it was targeted, since the captain was aware what ship you were attacking.’ There was that other puzzle piece that was missing in your brain. How would he know if you were supposed to be on that ship or not? 

Robin froze and dropped her rope. You watched it fall to the ground and her reaching to pick it up clumsily. Once she did, she fumbled around even more with it. ‘I’m probably not the best person to ask this; I joined the crew late, I don’t know everything that’s going on around—’ she was getting distracted, losing the point of your question, or so you thought, ‘I had only heard things, but you have to know that people around here, we trust each other and that trust is earned. We might cheat once in a while in a game of cards or dice, but some things you just can’t lie about.

‘So, I didn’t need much convincing from the captain when he said that those— that those were bad men.’

‘He told you that my crew were bad men?’ 

‘They needed to be punished.’ Robin shrugged, but not in the way that made you think she thought indifferent. More so that, there was nothing she could do about it. It was a brief apology to you, not for what they had done, but as if she was sorry for being the bearer of the news. 

‘Punished for what?’ you asked, but Robin shook her head. Right, she wouldn’t be able to know, and you didn’t blame her. Was there anyone around willing to share more of the specifics of this situation? You felt like you had the right to explain what had brought you to their ship, but it would go past some lines of comfort for the men. Could you dare ask Eddie? 

But to ignore him for days just to come up with these questions could not be appreciated; then again, he owed you at least this after being the sole reason for your presence on this ship in the first place. He had caused all this mess. He could at least help you clean it up. 

You finished your conversation with Robin slowly, without any urgency to actually put it to an end. It must have been confusing to Robin, who saw how you tried to tie your sentences up to walk away, just to disentangle them just as she had been doing with her rope and keep pulling it back. Ultimately, she stopped it all and excused herself from the argument she needed back on her lookout post. She walked away, giving you this look that made it clear to you that she knew what you were planning to do and how apprehensive you were to do it. And whatever for? You had fought, punched, slapped and kissed Eddie in the past days without hesitation; why could you not just talk to him now?

Because that would actually mean something to you. It would unblur all the lines that connected you into a clear pattern, and you would have to live with those results, and you just were not ready for that yet. 

You took deep breaths as you walked up to the captain’s quarters. The door creaked as it slid open but was met with a resistant force as you collided with Eddie. He grunted lightly at the impact, and you began to apologise. 

‘Sorry,’ you mumbled, not expecting him to be so close suddenly. You had hoped to catch him at his desk, where the furniture could keep some kind of barrier between you. Still, now he stood mere inches away, towering over you and the heat of his body radiating onto yours. 

‘I was just on my way out.’ He scratched his beard casually, but his eyes said enough about how similarly he felt about your sudden appearance.

‘I hoped we could talk,’ you blurted out, and Eddie blinked.

‘Talk? Now?’ To this, you only nodded shyly. It had been too long. You had made him wait for days, which was simply too long. Why would he want to listen to what you had to say now? Eddie was ready to brush past you, but you were quicker, catching his arm and pulling eachother closer until your lips met in a chaste kiss. The suddenness stunned him, but for a blink of an eye before his muscles melted into position around you. It only confirmed your worst thoughts, how perfectly the two of you fit together, how your bodies simply locked into place with one another. The heat that grew between you could not only be felt by you. It was too strong for that. As much as you did not want to admit it, there was something there that you did not want to lose.

‘I’m sorry, ‘you said breathlessly, ‘for everything I’ve done in the past few days.’

‘You have done nothing to apologise for.’ He sighed.

‘Exactly,’ you jumped back at how loud you sounded. Still, his pull on your waist kept you close, ‘I have done nothing, while I should have stayed here with you, and we should have talked of, of whatever it is that stands between us, but—but I was scared. I thought I hadn’t been, but I was, and that, in turn, scared me even more, so I thought I needed time to think—’ 

‘And did you?’ He looked down at you inquisitively like he was observing a strange, yet highly fascinating, phenomenon in front of him. Something that he should not be enjoying as much as he was. The unwanted smirk appeared on his lips no matter how hard he tried to hide it. It made you aware of just how much you had tried to say in what short of an amount of time.

‘Yes,’ you said with a slow breath to help you calm down. At this, Eddie simply reacted with a gesture telling you to go on, to tell him what kind of discovery you had made. Would it be anything that could help your conundrum? Clear things up in your heads and maybe even hearts? You could not be sure, but it was a start if you just let those parts of you speak freely.

You took one more deep breath. ‘That night you asked me if I was scared, and I said “no”, but…’ you pushed past the shake of your voice. ‘But I realise now that that wasn’t the truth.’ As you announced this, the hand on your waist tightened its grip before leaving your body entirely. The immediate lack of contact made you regret your choice of words. Maybe you should have prepared what to say, but letting it come out unrehearsed and unplanned felt like the right thing to do. It would not cut out any of the emotions you felt. What you wanted him to know that you thought, so you stammered out your following words.

‘There is so much that I am scared of. It scares me how and how much I have changed in the past few days, and I am scared that I do not mind it. It scares me how much I enjoy being here and how much I want to be… with you.’ Your last words faded as you had not expected to hear yourself say them out loud. Eddie, who you had watched as he walked around the room in slow paces as he listened, must not have expected them, too, for he stopped to stare at you, dumbfounded.

‘Why?’ was the only thing he said in response. 

‘Because…’ you let out an exasperated sigh, walking up to him. You had somehow managed to find yourselves at his throne, ‘because this is not who I am supposed to be. I shouldn’t be. You are you; I am me, and nothing here is right.’ Yet the puzzle had never fit tighter together than it did now. But at the same time… ‘As much as I want to spend my days with you, I cannot stop thinking about all the chaos you have caused in my life. Whether on purpose or not…There is blood on your hands, Eddie.’ there were tears in your eyes. Eddie looked down at his hands as if you had meant it literally. They were pale and had a shake to them, but he quickly put them down to his sides.

‘And yet you’re still here.’ He said it with a distance, more to himself than anyone else, narrating the events as if putting it all into words could make it make more sense somehow, and maybe to him, it did. However, you were still utterly clueless and running in the dark.

‘I am.’ You nodded your head lightly. ‘And I wish I could explain why. To you and to myself, but I simply do not know.’

‘Let me pose you these two questions then,’ he spoke sternly, and you got the unexpected feeling that this would be a test you had to ace. ‘Are you still scared of me? Do you regret anything that happened between us?

‘Answer yes to either of my questions,’ he held two fingers up, ‘and I will make all of this very easy for you and disappear. You will never have to see me again but be honest.’ Looking into his eyes the way you were, it was difficult to lie, or it would have been if you had any intention of doing so. The word came easier to you than anything else had in your life, but you still needed to know some things before sealing your fate.

‘Before I answer, I need to know your business with the admiral.’

Eddie scoffed, looking out the window, ‘I could not care less about the admiral.’ Something in him tensed up despite his attempt to make his reply come out casually. Everything besides his eyes, which flickered with so many emotions simultaneously, you could not distinguish between them soon enough.

‘But the attack on my ship was deliberate, was it not?’ You did not need this to become another one of your rows and spoke as carefully as you could manage. If one of you began to raise your voice or fill your words with anger, it would take over the other, exploding fatally in the middle, and that is not what you wanted.

‘What do you remember from that day?’ He looked at you, head cocked to the side as he studied your face. He saw you blink slowly, trying to understand what he was implying.

‘I remember everything.’ How could you not? It was one of the most terrifying days of your life. ‘I remember being on the deck and seeing your dark sails and how I hid under that desk as the canons went off–’ 

‘Whose canons?’ He stared at you blankly, and you mirrored him perfectly. 

‘What?’

‘What canons did you hear go off? Who shot first?’ He did not say anything else, just stood still as you tried to reply with confidence that you lost as soon as you gave your answer some thought.

Everything had happened so quickly, and it was so loud. All you had tried was to block it out. But you heard the bangs. They came from all sides, but the first one... the first one was the closest.

Eddie must have seen the recognition on your face. ‘I know that those people were your friends. And I am sorry that that is how things-’

‘But you said I was not meant to be on board. You knew what ship it was.’ You cut him off at the memory. ‘You would have attacked either way, wouldn’t you?’

‘It is not that simple.’ He shook his head.

‘Isn’t it?’ 

‘No, and I wish I could explain, but I fear that whatever I tell you will only make you see the worst in me and them.’ 

‘You could at least try.’ You reached for his hand, and a bit of you leapt in relief when you saw he did not pull away. ‘I want to understand, Eddie. You do not know how horrible it is to live in this realm of uncertainty and oblivion.’

‘Would you rather live with the horrors of the truth?’ He asked genuinely, with the pain that exactly this truth had caused him in his eyes.

‘Is that not a choice I deserve to make by myself?’ You once again found yourself up against him. Funny how it always came back to this and how you would not have wanted it any other way.

‘You’ve said it yourself; I’ve hurt you enough times. I can not risk doing it again. I will not let myself do that.’ He brushed a strand of hair from your face, brushing his fingers over your cheek. ‘Now, will you please answer my questions?’

‘No,’ and with that, you answered both. Whatever tugged at you from the inside to feel such anxiety had nothing to do with Eddie.

On the contrary, you felt a sense of calm whenever you saw him. And you had wanted, really wanted, to regret those kisses, but you still dreamt of them at night, and it was all with a magical wonder that you wished to experience once more. Despite everything in your life that had led to this that would have told you to turn around and run away, you stayed firmly in your place in front of him with no intention of ever running away again.

Eddie leaned in, and you anticipated a kiss that never came as he spoke against the corner of your mouth, sending shivers down your spine. ‘I need you to say it, darling.’

‘I’m not scared of you, Eddie.’ The tremble in your voice had nothing to do with fear but all with the way he held you. His hand had moved down your cheek onto your neck, fingers wrapped around your throat, thumb caressing your jaw. His eyes pierced through you. ‘And I do not regret anything.’

You knew Eddie had seen all the far corners of the world. You must have come across the grandest of riches. Yet standing in front of him, you could not help but think how seeing Captain Eddie Munson beam his most genuine smile was the rarest and most beautiful treasure of them all. It was infectious; you could not help but smile at it. 

He let himself come close again, but just as your lips were about to touch, he spoke instead. Right against you, the hot air of his breath pricked at your skin with his light laugh. ‘Before all of this, had you ever imagined yourself here with me?’

As much as you had wished it was not true, ‘I did, actually.’ Your mind flashed to your dreams, the ones you had once thought were conjured up to plague you, but now you realised it was just your heart screaming out your deepest desires.

Like a reward, Eddie kissed your cheek for your reply. ‘Really? The princess had thought of me, a filthy pirate?’

‘I’m not a princess.’ You rolled your eyes playfully.

‘Out of all the things to dispute, you argue my words of affection?’ He chuckled, and you could feel the vibrations deep within his chest. 

‘There was nothing else to correct.’ You wanted to laugh but instead froze at the sensation of Eddie lightly putting pressure on your throat as he was still kissing pieces of your face. Just like that, everything in the past minutes disappeared from your mind. When he pulled away, you saw the mischievous glint in his eyes that once used to bring out fear of the worst in you.

‘Glad to know you haven’t changed too much, darling.’ With his hand around you, he gave you little choice but to look up at him. There was a moment in which both of you took everything of the other in. You tried to soak in all his features from this small distance, for some reason feeling the need to remember them all. Meanwhile, he read your face for any signs of reluctance, which he found none of. ‘You enjoyed that, didn’t you, princess?’ 

A question which brought a lot of enjoyment out of him.

Still taken aback by his actions, you stood there with your lips slightly parted, bewildered, so all you did was nod. And again, your response was rewarded with another kiss, finally letting you meet his lips while tightening his hold on you.  The weak sound that came out of your mouth at the feeling was an instinct. You had never heard yourself make such a sound, and he must have known it somehow as his grin grew wider against you. 

The kiss grew in strength by the fleeting second as you both lost control over your bodies, just letting them speak for themselves. It was messy and heated. The pent-up tension that had been sitting between you was finally finding its release. Eddie’s hands roamed over your body, almost in a hunger-like manner, devouring you with his touch alone. Maybe this hunger felt too real when Eddie’s teeth grazed over your neck, sending an unknown spark through your body at the sensation.

You held onto him tightly, one hand on his shoulder as the other rooted itself in his dark locks—which made you soon realise that the tiniest of motions of you caused a reaction in him as well, in the form of a low hiss as you pulled the hairs on the back of his neck. It had been an accident, as you tried to keep yourself up when the pleasure he brought you made you feel light as a feather.

Eddie hummed at your response as his hands continued their wandering path across your body. The pressure of his palms, combined with the slow and tantalising pace at which he moved, drove you to press your body eagerly against him, which, in turn, only spurred him on to continue down this track of your curves. His movements got rougher as he kept going.

With your urge to keep your bodies close, you quickly caught on Eddie walking backwards. You followed him mindlessly until he found his throne seat and pulled you along with him, right on top of his lap. At this proximity, you could feel all of him underneath you.

‘Tell me,’ he kissed you briefly between words, ‘have you ever been with a man before?’

‘Yes,’ you dared to reply with the truth. Anywhere else, it would have been considered a great shame, a sin of the highest degree, but with Eddie, somehow, you felt like he had wanted that to be your answer. You tried to focus on his face, that smile he shot up at you and the short answer you gave him, instead of how his hands roamed over your thighs. Even with the fabric of your trousers in between, his effect on you was immense. He must have felt how you tensed up when he reached your core. 

‘Did anyone ever touch you like this?’ 

‘Uhm, no, not in this way.’ You struggled with the words as he let his fingers press over your most sensitive parts, everywhere all at once. You could barely keep track of it. Another moan escaped you as his hand moved over your breast. Even with the fabric keeping your modesty intact, he had still found a way for his fingers to move smoothly across your nipples. The feeling lulled you into comfort, brewing the heat inside your chest. And so, you gasped as, with one aggressive pull, Eddie ripped the material of your shirt in two, revealing you to him entirely. Your eyes were wide in shock as his darkened with want.

‘Not scared of me yet, are you, princess?’ His hand was on your ribs, waiting for permission to touch your bare skin. 

‘No,’ your voice sounded like a hushed, airy whisper. Eddie smiled but still hesitated with his subsequent actions. As the shirt sleeve fell off your shoulder, he kissed you again. Except this time, his lips met your breast. The arch in your back, the tug of your hips towards him, was an almost mechanised reaction to it. And with it came the friction of his thigh against you. 

‘Eddie.’ His name sounded shaky coming from you as you could barely inhale a steady breath, too occupied with him.

‘That’s right, princess.’ He groaned as his lips remained on your skin, kissing the valley of your chest. With each kiss, your want for him grew, but your movements over his thigh barely covered the needed friction. You dug your nails into his shoulders, making him groan out in pained pleasure. He cursed before taking you by the hips. ‘Stand up.’

You did as he asked, something that did not go unnoticed by either of you. Eddie chuckled as he looked up at you, chin on your stomach, lips nearly pressing against it, so close you could feel the vibrations of his voice. 

‘So you can be good for me.’

A snide remark was already forming on the tip of your tongue, but Eddie was quicker. Smoothly, he pulled down your trousers and let them pool at your ankles. You stood in front of him in only your torn-up shirt. His large eyes were on you up until the moment his face made contact with your core, and at that moment, everything went black. You could just about make out that you held him close to you, pulling at his hair; as for the rest, the world was turning upside down and around at a speed that made everything seem like a sea full of stars. Your moans filled the room as his tongue licked through your slit. 

You assumed that with how he held you with one hand, his fingers would leave marks for days, but the other was much lower. You could hear the sound of a belt unbuckling. He was clearly struggling to work around his clothes with only one hand, especially with most of him already preoccupied with you and your pleasure. Never before had you seen such kind of ferocity in a man. Not when he pulled himself closer to you and practically fell to his knees from the throne. You surely would have fallen back if it had not been for him and the desk that hit your legs and now acted as an extra grip. It was especially needed when Eddie pulled your leg over his shoulder, gaining even more access to you. 

The desk kept sliding back with the force at which he held you in your place, grazing the floor, but it was all blocked out by your moans. They were filled with curses and the repetition of his name as your vision blurred with ecstasy and your body tightened with need. There was no possible way that the rest could not hear you through the thin walls of the cabin, but you could not care less about them. At this moment, they simply did not exist. 

‘You taste absolutely divine.’ Eddie spoke while kissing your inner thigh, making your legs even weaker. You noticed his lips glistening, never looking more kissable than ever before. 

He had run your mind through a mill; words were hard to come by. All you could muster out was a weak hum as you let your hand brush through his hair. At that, he nuzzled himself between your legs again, this time much gentler, and took his time kissing every inch of skin he had access to, giving you the time to catch your breath while still keeping you on that high edge.

‘I—I never…’ you still struggled to form a sentence.

‘Hmm,’ he kissed your stomach, ‘I know.’ And he slowly rose to his feet, catching your face in one more passionate kiss. You had gotten so used to how he tasted—rum, tobacco, sea air— that your flavour threw you off for a moment, but soon enough, you were sinking into him just as before. And again, you could hear the struggling twinkle of a locked belt buckle. 

‘Would you be a doll,’ he said with his amusement running down your cheek, ‘and help a poor man out.’

You reached for his trousers, undoing the belt and unbuttoning them so they could drop down his thighs. You had felt it before, how aroused he had grown, but seeing it made you take a step back. 

‘Nothing to be afraid of, darling.’ He grinned, placing a hand on your cheek. The other made itself comfortable between your legs, toying with your wetness. 

‘I know.’ You looked into his eyes. The warmth of them had burned up into a dark and hungry desire. Putting a light pressure onto his shoulders, you pushed him back down into the chair. Eddie practically bounced in the seat, taking you all in as much as you took the moment to look at him. Your flicker of confidence in the moment when you thought you knew what you were doing fizzled, but he must have read that off of you, as the next second he was the one pulling you down. 

‘Was this how you expected it to be,’ he murmured against your ear, ‘when you thought about us.’ 

‘No,’ you admitted. It was nothing like you had imagined. All your dreams had been of what you had thought he was; careless, dangerous, feeding off your fear. There had been none of this passion that you felt now. None of the heat, the tenderness or the feeling.

‘Anything you’d still like to change,’ he kissed the soft spot of skin behind your ear that made you shiver. 

‘No,’ you gasped. You could feel him against you, just waiting for the moment to enter you. The two of you were dancing around it, letting other make that next move, the plunge off the cliff, with no return. You shuffled over his thighs. One more kiss would seal the final deal when you moved your hips up and he adjusted himself infront of you.

The moan you let out at the feeling of him inside you, of him stretching your walls and filling you whole, was impossible to miss. Ships from miles away could probably tell what was going on, but again, they were not a part of your universe in this moment. Just you. You concentrated at the pace he was making you keep up with. The roll of your hips against the grind of his. Each thrust went deeper and harder making Eddie more aggressive in the most blissful of ways. There was nothing else to think about, because why would you when this felt so good? Reality went lost on you, until you felt his fingers dig into your side, a pain rushing through you. 

Both of you froze.

‘What’s wrong?’ Eddie immediately looked to where he had held you, pulling the remaining pieces of your shirt up to reveal the scar. The rough skin was a stark contrast to the rest of you. He met your eyes again. ‘Does it still hurt?’

‘It’s just sensitive.’ You wanted to push his hand away, cover the mark up again so neither of you had to be reminded of it. It had been a stupid mistake, that much you knew, and it was not as if you could change the past, so why let it pester you? But Eddie was not the kind to give up easily. He pushed the shirt material back up, keeping your hand away from him, to inspect the damage he had caused. 

‘I’ve done a lot in my life that I will forever regret,’ he kissed your shoulder as his thumb traced over the scarred line, ‘but this will probably haunt me the longest.’ His words and touch, combined with how you sat in his lap, still full of him, got you lost for words. Because, of course, you had hoped that this was his sentiment, you understood and appreciated his words, but what else was there to say? The only thing you could think of replying, which felt silly to do seeing your current position, was ask for some clarification.

‘What happened? I would have thought you had more control over your sword than that.’ You aired the conversation with a bit of laughter, but it only spurred him on to thrust deeper into you.

 ‘I had thought so too,’ he kept moving his hips forcefully, ‘I had hoped so,’ he kissed you sloppily, ‘but I lost it all when I saw you with him.’

‘Who?’ you asked. Maybe under different circumstances, you could have thought more clearly to realise what he was speaking of, but that did not seem possible. 

‘Harrington,’ the name came out of him with a bitter taste. Apparently, the feelings from that day had not disappeared as far as he had thought, but now he could let these frustrations out in a less hazardous manner. It still took a toll on you, but there was no pain to speak of. Just pure pleasure. 

Still, the mention of the crew member had surprised you. ‘Why– why would you—’

‘The way he held you, smiled at you, don’t you think I had wanted to do that? From the moment I saw you—but all I did was drive you away. It was just another reminder of my failure and before I knew it I—’ he stopped himself, still unable to properly speak of what happened. You kissed the bridge of his nose. 

‘For what it’s worth,’ you tugged at the words to come out cohesively, ‘I never thought of him as—’

‘It does not even matter what you think of him,’ he laughed, more so at himself, ‘You could fall for and by happy with any man on this earth and I could make my peace with it. I just don’t want to be the reason for your suffering.’

‘I think—’ a moan burst through your thought with another deep thrust, ‘I think you have managed to pay back any of your wrongdoings.’

‘Oh, darling, I haven’t even started to repay my debts.’ And so, Eddie kissed your neck, over and over, and with those kisses moved down to your brest. Your head rolled back with a soft whine at the attention he gave you, if not with his mouth, than the hand that kneaded your flesh and played with your nipples. 

As he kept going, and as your hips met his and the pleasure burst through you, you could feel everything coming to a close. The tightness in your body swelled while your control over it strayed. There was no possible way you could hold on for much longer and from the looks of it, Eddie had no plans on making you wait. He bucked his hips into you harder and harder, almost impossibly for you to keep it all in. You could explode with this pleasure and that is exactly what he wanted.

‘Mmm c’mon, princess. Feel so good around me,’ he hummed, ‘could anyone make you feel this good?’ 

‘Just you,’ you moaned out, holding tightly on to him as you felt the tension build up in you. 

‘That’s right,’ he had a smug smile across his face that you wished you could wipe off, and you would if you did not need him to keep doing whatever it was he did. Were his fingers back between your legs? Rubbing tight circles, sparking up your sensitivity. ‘Just me.’

‘Just you, Eddie,’ his named squeaked out from between your teeth when he reached the deepest part of you.

‘I’ll never get enough of you saying my name.’ 

‘Eddie,’ you repeated it in in a haze with his final thrusts that finally brought you over the edge. Stars fell over you in pleasure as Eddie slowed down his movements, letting you come down from the high. He held you tightly in his arms as you let your head fall on his shoulder until you fell into a comfortable silence. There was only the rush of the waves and your tired breaths that filled your ears.

Once your heart settled back to a steady pace, you knew it wasn’t safe. As good as this moment felt, it wouldn’t last. Whatever this was, there was no possibility in which it would outlive this voyage. Then, once it was over, it would hurt. That much you knew. Possibly more than anything had hurt before, and you would just have to be on the lookout for that end until then to let yourself become at peace with it. There wasn’t another choice, as this idea always stayed with you in the back of your head from that moment on. When you fell asleep in Eddie’s arms that night, you thought how many more days you got to wake to in such bliss as you did the next morning.

You could not tell if Eddie had these troubles, you could not tell, for he went through his following days much like before. The only difference was that his free minutes were now occupied with you.

It had not been your intention to make it so obvious to the crew, but there was also so little you could hide from them. Nothing could escape the dozens of interested eyes, so why hide your affection towards their captain? He certainly was not making any attempts. Any chance he got, he found himself at your side, holding you, kissing you, then behind closed doors, do all the other unspeakable things to you that made the others turn green of envy. 

Your mornings and afternoons were much the same as they had been before the night of the storm and the Hellfire’s arrival at Saint Claire, as you still spent it in each other's company. The difference was now that instead of being separated by the large oak desk, Eddie would often pull you into his lap to sit in the throne, if not making himself comfortable with you on the bed. The nights began with kisses and limbs tangled with eachother and merged into a joined slumber. Unfortunately, as happy as your days felt, it would not stop the nightmares from coming, but each time you would awake in a cold sweat or with shaking hands, he would be right there to coax you back to peace. What surprised you, however, was that you would do the same to him. 

Somehow, the thought of the notorious captain waking up screaming in the middle of the night, chest heaving, eyes wide with fear, had never occurred to you. You had never imagined him reaching for your thigh to ground himself as his reality spiralled in the dark.

‘Shh,’ you held him tightly, ‘it’s okay.’ 

Neither of you asked what the dreams were about, knowing you could do nothing about them. You could just help the other through it. And then, each time, the dreams that followed were much sweeter. 

Then you’d wake up in each other’s arms long before the rest of the world seemed to. Those few blissful moments where nothing could disturb you and the time you could spend in that bed was endless. 

Except it very much was not. And you realised it exactly through what you thought would be your escape. 

It was a sunny morning. The golden sunrays illuminated the cabin as you reached for Eddie, just to find the side of the bed to be empty. Only his impression in the covers, the faint temperature his body had radiated onto them, was still there. It could not have been long since he had gotten up, and indeed, you caught him standing at the window—leaning against it, more like. His trousers were loose on his hips, and his shirt was still on the ground around you. 

Grabbing that shirt and throwing it over your naked body, you walked over to him, and he looked in your direction as soon as he heard your footsteps. The smile in his eyes was genuine but weak. As soon as you were close enough, he pulled you into an embrace, twirling you around so your back would hit his chest and you could look out at the sea. With how the sunrays sparkled across the waves, it all felt like a dream, too good to be true, but you did not know yet that the dream was at the end of its tether.

‘I really am sorry,’ he mumbled, having his face already nuzzled in the crook of your neck, kissing the spot where it met your shoulder.

‘What for?’ Apologies had become a frequent appearance in his vocabulary, showing up in almost every conversation, if not sentence.

‘You know.’ Yes, you did know. For everything. He held a moment of silence, enjoying your presence in his arms for a little longer, before speaking again. ‘I just keep thinking about how everything between us happened, and if it had not been for me, we could have had more.’

‘I’m just as guilty.’ You had been stubborn, aggressive, and just as blind to your feelings. 

‘Highly doubtful statement.’ He laughed, and his breath tickled the hairs on your neck.

‘I don’t think so.’ You shrugged in his hold.

‘Still just as stubborn, aren’t you, princess.’ He squeezed you tighter. 

‘Is that not one of my most desirable attributes?’ You spun yourself around in his hold and quickly wrapped your arms around him. Doing so, hearing his tone and joy in his  voice, you had expected to see him smiling, but he looked just as sombre as when you had walked up to him. ‘What’s wrong?’ Your hand mindlessly began to trace over the scars on his chest, knowing it brought comfort to both you and him by now.

Eddie shook his head, holding back a laugh. ‘You know…’ he kissed your forehead,  ‘when I woke up, I saw you lying there, with the sun shining on your face, and you looked so peaceful, I had honesty considered just locking you away and keeping you forever, but I am a man of my word, am I not?’

‘I…don’t understand.’ You tried to see the meaning behind his words in his eyes, but there was nothing, and it only got harder to figure out when he held his forehead against yours, keeping you close. You still tried to make sense of what he said when you saw it. There, in the far back corner of your eye. So far, it could have been a play of light, and yet it was more real than anything. So undeniably real it crushed everything around you without question. 

From the angle the ship stood at, that was as much as you could envision through the windows, and thus you ran out of the room. As much as you did not want to leave Eddie behind, knowing it could be one of the last moments the two of you had, you ran out onto the deck to meet the silhouette of mountains against the rising sun. The longer you looked at it, the clearer the details became. The ridges of the mountains, the forests, the watch towers and houses. The uniformed ships that stood in the harbour.  

You knew this day was coming, you had been waiting for it, and yet, now that it was right there in front of you, you wished to be as far from it as possible. In what must have been shock, you took a couple of steps back just to collide with something—someone. You turned around to see Eddie and his soft but sad smile.

‘Welcome home,’ he announced.

Home, sweet home.

Your head turned between him and the land in the too-near distance, waiting for one of them to disappear, maybe even both. Why was this so difficult for your mind to comprehend? Why were the first words to come from your mouth, ‘Can we turn back?’ 

‘As much as I would want to,’ he sighed, ‘I’m sure they’ve noticed us by now.’ They must have. The watchers in those towers had the eyes of hawks, one of the reasons why your town was named after the bird.

‘So, what do we do?’ This is not how someone who is to be returning to their family after months spent with criminals was meant to respond. Everything about this was so wrong.

‘Go put your dress on.’ Eddie cocked his head back to the cabin. ‘I doubt they will appreciate you wearing this, as much as I adore it on you.’ That is when you realised you stood out on the main deck wearing only his shirt. ‘I’ll meet you in a few minutes.’ And with that, he gave you that look he had given you all those times before when you had been too headstrong in your own actions. Please, listen to me. It will be alright.

You walked back, feeling like you were floating, but not anywhere near the same way that you had the previous few days. It did not feel like you were weightless, on a cloud, free of worry or from the world. You were drifting. Far out into the abyss with nothing to hold on to. In this same state, you walked over to the wardrobe, where you had hung your dress, removed the item of clothing you had on and put on the old and tethered garment. It had once fit you like a glove, but you were far from the person it was measured for.

Just as you finished putting it on, the door opened, and Eddie walked in. 

You didn’t want to look at him. Not because of anger, you had, after all, no reason to be angry at him at that moment, but because you were sure that if you looked into those brown irises again, you would break down. He must have had the same idea as you as he walked past you, only grabbing the nearest shirt off the rack, and making a headway to the desk.

‘What are you going to do now?’ After all, that had been what pulled you two together, the money your father would offer for your return. That is what kept you on this ship safe for as long as it did… although, in retrospect, you doubted that Eddie would have ever done anything to you. Maybe he had always intended to bring you home before even speaking to you. Perhaps the money made no difference. But funnily enough, you wanted him to get it. Something in you, a deep instinct, told you that it was what he deserved.

‘Write a random note,’ he said, and you could see he was doing his best not to laugh. ‘Then we’ll send the note out, hope it reaches your dearest, and we’ll make the exchange.’ His words were quick and emotionless, but you noted the hint of novice apprehension in his plan.

‘You’ve never done this before, have you?’ you asked as you made your way up to the chair across from him.

‘Try not to sound too disappointed over my lack of experience in selling beautiful maidens back to their prosperous fathers.’

‘Not at all,’ you shook your head, grabbing the piece of parchment and quill from him. ‘But let me. It will be proof of life, and besides, your handwriting is unrecognisable. He won’t be able to read any of it.’ 

Eddie stared at you blankly as you began writing. 

Dear father, 

But what were you to write? The ink dripped off the quill as you pondered on the words. For a message that was quite clear, it was hard to actually phrase it and write it out. By the time you had signed your name at the bottom of the page, the Hellfire had almost reached the coast. You read it through once more: 

Dear Father, 

I know it has been a long time since you last heard from me. The Red Tail is no more; I was the only survivor, to my knowledge, saved by a crew of rogue sailors. They have kept me locked away but are willing to free me for the price of 5.000 pounds. Please meet me at noon at the Star Port for the exchange.

Love, 

Your daughter, 

—

You had decided against the mention of piracy or anything specific about the ship’s sinking, knowing that it would only drive your father away from pain the ransom. Eddie had been unable to keep still while you wrote your drafts but now stood behind you, hands on the backrest of your chair, reading the note along with you, over your shoulder.

‘Who would have thought, my darling extorting her own father.’

‘I am doing no such thing!’ You looked up at him, ‘I am simply… aiding you in extorting my father.’ when it came to this, you had little sympathy for your father. He had plenty of money to spare and often spent it on ridiculous causes. A faux rescue of his only daughter could surely fit in between those other purchases.

There was a knock on the door, which Eddie welcomed, and Harrington walked in. 

‘Got any mail for me to deliver, cap?’ it had been unanimously agreed that Harrington was the most inconspicuous of the whole crew and would be able to walk through the city unbothered to deliver the message. 

You had just been in the middle of folding the parchment. The last thing left was to let the wax melt to keep the corners together. With the seal done, you handed Steve the letter. He smiled at you with thanks, but his face hid an expression of loss, almost. A farewell. But before he left, you clutched him in an embrace, almost knocking Steve over.

When the door closed behind him, it was only a matter of waiting. After your fifth round of pacing through the room, Eddie walked up in front of you, blocking your already quite well-outlined route. He had met you right in the middle. 

‘I would prefer if you did not spend our last moments together walking holes into my carpet.’ 

‘You do not have a carpet,’ you quipped. 

‘Must you be so difficult now?’ He laughed that laugh you cherished so much before he placed his hands on your cheeks and kissed you the way you adored even more. The sun was almost at its peak, and so was your heart, and you had no idea what to do when it would finally fall. Either way, you would find out in a few minutes.

‘Do you think—’ 

‘Highly doubtful,’ Eddie said somberly before you could even finish your thought. ‘You had said it yourself, darling; you are you, I am me. This is not meant to work.’ But what if it could, you wanted to shout, shocking yourself for the millionth time on board this ship.

‘Well, then it had been an honour being your captive, captain.’ You said with a deep breath to keep your composure up.

‘Oh, don’t look so sad just yet, princess, the real fun is only about to begin.’ At this statement, you blinked slowly. ‘Or did you think you were done aiding me?’

‘What else do you need me to do?’ 

‘Since you mentioned it, I think we need to make you look the part of my sweet captive. Make your father believe we really had kept you all good and locked up, hmm?’ He grinned. ‘I really did not do a good job at this, did I? Got you all spoiled up here.’

‘It was much appreciated.’ You giggled, incapable of keeping a straight face when Eddie got like this. Looking back, you could barely imagine the cold and dark exterior that he had once posed in front of you since he had been an entirely different person underneath that. Then again, so were you. ‘So, what did you have in mind?’

‘A lot,’ he licked his lips, ‘but I don’t think we have the time for that. We’ll probably have to do with tying you up like a pretty gift—just your hands, of course,’ he quickly added as he saw your eyes widen. ‘And I’ll be sure to not make it too tight.

‘Alright,’ you nodded. After all, you trusted him. You watched him look through the room for something to wrap around your hands. In the end, he found a piece of rope hanging among the many items on his wall. It was a bit too long for even the intricate, but relatively weak, knot he tied over your wrists—enough to give the impression of captivity, but in reality, barely grazed your wrists. He made sure to check. 

And then it was time. You walked out of the cabin for the final time. The room in which you had spent so many tumultuous days and nights. A silly part of you wanted to actually run down the ladder into the lower deck to see the holding cell one last time. For what reason, you could not fathom. 

Eddie guided you with a hand on your back, down the gangplank, which wobbled with every step you took. You tried to keep your breathing under control, but then again, if this had been a real threat to your life, you would probably feel similarly. The walk down the harbour was the longest of your life. There just came no end to it, and you could not, frustratingly enough, make your mind up if you wanted that or not. After all, each step closer to the port was one step further away from him… and when had you become so dependent on him? Weeks ago, you had thought up visions of killing him in his sleep; now, you could not think of life without him. 

Your thoughts were still fighting for some kind of cohesion when you saw him walk down the street. Accompanied by his usual entourage of guards. Two of them carried a large trunk between them, which must have been filled with gold or other treasures to meet the demand.

‘Papa!’ You screamed out; an incautious urge to run towards him propelled you forward, just to be pulled back by Eddie. You glanced his way, and your breath hitched at what you saw. In the short amount of time that might have felt like an eternity that it took you to walk down the harbour, he had turned into what you could only describe as his old self. The same version of him that you had seen when you were “welcomed’ aboard the Hellfire. The Eddie that terrorised your nightmares. His eyes were pointed like daggers at your father. 

He, in turn, stood aback at the sight of who had been holding you. Most of the men around him did, in fact. It caused a bit of a stir, the murmur of his name travelled in disbelief, but Eddie was the first to speak up in full volume.

‘Governor. I see we meet again.’

‘Munson.’ Your father always had the skill to look unimpressed at the sight of any man, always seeming to be above them, and even now, he did a good job hiding any other emotion, but you could see the crack of fear breaking him on the edges. It was, however, quickly replaced as he spoke in his usual tone of business.

‘Munson. What are you doing here?’

‘Why, returning your precious jewel, of course.’ He grinned, pulling you closer to him. Some of the guards leapt forward but were stopped by your father and Eddie, who reached for the knife at his side. All eyes were on you and him as he let the blade slowly track over your arm. ‘Don’t wanna do that, gents. It will only cost us more trouble.’ 

‘You got the gold, Munson, now let her go!’ There were still several feet between the two sides of the deal. Eddie looked around theatrically. 

‘Do I?’ He cocked his head in his own direction. The two men in charge of the trunk hauled it over to you. You had no idea how Eddie was meant to carry it back to the ship. As they brought the gold over, your father spoke again. 

‘Is she well? Unharmed?’ 

You nodded, but Eddie nudged you with the hilt of his knife, his lips against your ear, ‘C’mon, darling, the man’s asked you a question.’

‘I am fine, father.’ You spoke. By that point, the men reached you and, with a final kiss to your temple, Eddie let you go. You were immediately pulled out of his reach by the guards. They must have thought they were holding you up as your legs objected to moving. You were unable to look away from him. All up until you felt your face pressed against your father’s jacket. 

‘There, there, it is alright,’ he hushed, and it took you a moment to realise why. You were crying. And if only he, or anyone else, understood that it was for all the opposite reasons. No fear or relief was escaping you through those tears. It was a loss as you saw Eddie standing there, bowing down at the end of his performance, blowing you a kiss goodbye.

It was the panic when you saw the rest of the people in the harbour. All of their eyes on you. On him. None of them were simple bystanders or civilians. 

Your dream had been crumbling into ruin all these days, but this was the final blow. All of it came down, all at once, and it started with your father’s call.

‘Guards!’, and suddenly the tenfold of guards appeared out of all possible directions. They had him surrounded, weapons at the ready. Eddie had nowhere to run. Your father spoke clearly, cutting the silence with the blade of his words. ‘Munson, I arrest you on charges of murder and high treason!’ 

Chapter 10

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[avatarloverfrfr]

Dreamwalker Siblings

Chapter I: Cryo-sleep

Masterlist

Summary: Y/n and Jake Sully. Siblings, shipped off into the depths of space to explore the mysterious world of Pandora.

Warnings: Mentions of death, reader is NOT excited at all, Constant reminder of deceased loved one.

Word count: 3,6k

Tag list: @pinkvrydag @neytirismissingtoe @youskawng @tsuteyssyulang @lylalaminated

Note: Trust me guys, this series is going to take an interesting turn around the second or third chapter, be patient. Let me cook. Also just ask to be added to the tag list.

"You cannot ask this of us! Tommy is the scientist not us. He wanted to be shot light years into space, not us. We cannot do it." I shrieked, pleading with my brother for validation, but my cries were met with oppressive silence. His gaze fixed onto our fallen sibling, Tommy, robbed of life right before he went off to do the only thing that put a smile to his face. All sacrificed for the contents of his wallet.

"Your brother represented a significant investment, we'd urge you to accept taking over his contract." The man besides Jake had said, completely disregarding all that I had said. "I'm sure he would hate to have all his hard work go to waste, knowing someone so close to him would be able to continue his legacy." The second man, besides me, added with a curt nod.

Outrage boils within me at the audacity of these men, exploiting the loss of one of us, former triplets, as leverage against us. How dare they use Jake and I with their clear motives of greed, revealing to us that our worth to them is nothing but a budget they refuse to abandon.

"It'll be a fresh start, on a new world. And the pays good, very good." they said staring at Jake and I. Before I could even say something in retaliation. Jake had spoken for the first time that night. "We'll do it." Disbelief swept over me as I locked eyes with him. How could he agree so easily? How could he not see that these men were just using us— he probably could, yet chose to turn a bind eye.

"Perfect, Y/n we will get your Avatar ready, they will mature on the trip there." the men said walking out, leaving me in there with Jake.

"How could you just accept like that Jake. You caved! Just like that? You know they are just playing us, and you still went along with it! Don't you see–" I started, but he interrupted me. "Maybe you don't see it, but I do. We are dirt poor Y/n! Struggling... This cash could change everything. We could finally be able to live." he pleaded, desperate for understanding. "I could afford to use my legs again." he confessed.

While I was sitting there, next to my brother, a big whole blown right in the middle of our lives, I started having these dreams. Dreams that whispered secrets of possibility and untold wonders. Sooner or later though, you always have to wake up.

As I wake up, I glance around and it hits me, I'm in some sort of cryo pod. Flashbacks flood my mind, reminding me of the time before my life had got frozen, five years of my life, gone. The memories of Tommy's death, as if it was yesterday. 'We had to do it, so we could live." I think to myself, trying to find comfort in all of this.

"Rise and shine sleepy head." a doctor had greeted me as I exit the cryo pod I had spent the last five years of my life in. "We're here."

"Exo-packs on! Let's go! Exo packs on! Remember people, you lose that mask, you're unconscious in 20 seconds, and dead in four minutes–" I stopped listening to what the sergeant had to say. Looking around my eyes landing on Jake. We should not be here, this is not our home. But what's the point in dwelling now, there's no turning back. I think to myself while putting on my exo pack, adjusting it so oxygen could freely flow through.

"When that ramp comes down, go directly into the base. Do not stop! Go straight inside wait for my mark!" the sergeant yelled. Standing up I walk over to Jake who was still seated waiting for everyone in front of him to leave the air craft so that he was able to freely able to deploy his wheelchair.

"Let's go special case! Do not make me wait for you Sully's!" he barks. Not bothering to acknowledge him Jake and I walk off the ramp and onto Pandora, our "fresh start." Taking a long look around I spot soldiers, back on earth these guys were heroes, marines fighting for freedom. But out here they were all just a bunch of hired guns, serving the RDA until their last breath.

"You're not in Kansas anymore, you're on Pandora ladies and gentlemen–" the man, Quartrich, continued. Tommy was meant to be listening to this, not Jake and I.

"Excuse me. Excuse me. Jake!" a lanky man rushes up to us after the "safety brief." "You're Jake right? Tom's brother." he asked looking down at him to meet his eyes. I just stare at him, does he just not see me here?

"You look just like him." he says eyes finally landing on me. "Sorry– I forgot he had mentioned he had two siblings, Y/n. I'm Norm. Spellman. Went through Avatar training with him." he says leading us into some sort of bio-lab.

As Norm continues briefing us on the bio-lab procedures, my attention drifts, drawn to avatars in three separate cry-chambers. I approach them, circling until I stop at a particular one.

"Looks like him." Jake and I simultaneously say, not once taking our eyes off what our brother could have been.

"No, looks like you. This is your avatar now Jake." Norm reassures him placing a hand on Jakes shoulder before moving to the last tube in the bio-lab.

"And this is your avatar Y/n. She had to get to the lab as soon as possible, since you know–" Norm starts, but I cut in, "–I wasn't meant to be here. Yeah, I'm aware." I finish, stepping closer to my avatar.

She looks so much like me, except for the obvious differences. Blue skin, a queue, and her sheer size. "She's beautiful." I whisper, touching the glass, feeling a soft heartbeat pass between us.

"The idea is that every driver is matched to their own Avatar, so their nervous systems are in tune... Or something. That's why they offered us the gig. It's insanely expensive... Is this right? Do we just say whatever to the video log?" Jake questions turning to Norm and Max.

"And do we have to share the exact same camera to film these things?" I interject, trying to nudge Jake out of the screens view.

"Yeah, you both need to document everything you see, what you feel. Plus, you're twins, who knows if you both are able to feel the same emotions or not. It's all apart of the science." Norm explains, retuning to his work.

"Plus it'll keep you sane for the next six years," Norm adds chuckling.

"Not if I have to sit next to Mr. Jarhead it's not." I remark, rolling my eyes but smiling slightly.

"Look who's talking Miss. 'I might not be a marine, but I sure can beat your ass,' " Jake adds, playfully pushing me.

This was one the first times I had smiled since arriving to Pandora. Usually keeping a stoic face, only smiling around my brother. My only family, the only thing from my past life.

Entering the link room behind Norm and Max, we're greeted by a voice. "Who's got my goddamn cigarette?" a redheaded woman demands, emerging from one of the link pods.

"Grace Augustine is a legend. She's the head of the Avatar Program. She wrote the book, I mean literally write the book on Pandora botany." Norm gushes. "Well that's because she likes plants more than people." Max adds teasingly.

"Well, there she is, Cinderella back from the ball. Grace, I'd like you to meet Norm Spellman, and Jake and Y/n Sully." Max says pointing at each of us in turn.

"Norm, I've heard good things about you. How's your Na'vi?" she asks, completely ignoring my brother and me, then begins to speak in a language I can only assume is Na'vi.

"Uh- Grace, this is Jake and Y/n Sully," Max interjects, trying to redirect her attention.

"Yeah, yeah. I know who you are, and I don't need you. I need your brother. You know. the PhD who trained for years for this mission? Yeah him." she snaps.

"He's dead. We know it's a big inconvenience for everyone, including me." I reply bluntly. There's no need to sugar coat anything that's already happened.

"How much lab training have you had?" she asks, looking between Jake and I.

"We dissected a frog once." Jake simply states.

"You see? I mean, they're just pissing on us without even the courtesy of calling it rain. I mean hell, the girl isn't even supposed to be here! I'm going to Selfridge, this is such bullshit." she rants, storming off but not before putting out her cigar.

"Well she's kind." I remark dryly.

As Jake and I arrive precisely at the time Max had instructed us to the day before, 0800, Jake and I hasten to catch up with Grace and Norm, who are already stationed at the link pods.

"You're late Sully's. You're in there, you're here." Grace remarks, gesturing towards two pods for Jake and I, and we obediently follow her directions.

"How much have you both logged?" she inquires, turning to the screen besides Jakes link pod.

"Zip, but I read a manual." Jake replies with a nonchalant shrug, as he wheels over to his pod.

"I listened to him read it out loud, if that counts." I confess making my way to my own pod.

"Tell me you're joking." Grace says incredulously, as she abandons her work on Jakes screen to approach mine.

"So you just decided to venture out here, to the most hostile environment known to man with no training whatsoever and see how it went? What was going on through your head?" she questions, setting up both mine and Jakes link screens for launch.

"Maybe I was tired of doctors telling what I couldn't do." Jake retorts, lying down in this link pod. I look at him wondering if that is why he spared no chance in me saying anything back when those men asked us to take the place of Tommy, because he was tired of the life he had.

"Keep you arms in, heads down." Grace instructs, pushing me into my link bed before I had the chance to ask Jake what he had truly meant.

"Just relax and let your mind go blank." are the last words I hear Grace utter before she seals my link pod.

Off to the side, Max examines scans of Jake and my brain. Studying the intently, he remarks. "Jakes brain is gorgeous, with nice activity. However we're detecting some resistance in Y/n's brain. She's unconsciously pushing back against the transfer, if this continues it could potentially harm the link." he informs, turning to Grace for guidance.

"Once the link is established, it cannot be interrupted. It will only worsen the issue," Grace states matter-of-factly, keeping an eye on my Avatar. Stubborn and resistant to change- that's Grace's initial assessment of Y/n, even after less than 48 hrs of meeting her.

As my eyes flutter open, I'm greeted by a blinding light that pierces my eyes. A sharp ache throbs in my head, intensifying until two figures materialize before me- doctors, no doubt.

"She's awake. Y/n, can you hear me? Are you feeling alright?" the female doctor inquires, checking my expression for any sign of discomfort.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I reply, opting not to mention the pounding headache. Slowly, I sit up, only to find my hands adorned with five blue fingers.

"I made it." I murmur to myself in disbelief. Glancing around, I notice Jake already on his feet, a grin stretching across his face. He's standing, a sight I never thought I'd witness again, his legs finally functioning.

"Y/n you've got to see this. When's the last time you saw your brother standing tall, huh?" he exclaims, turning to face me while his tail knocks over everything in it's path.

Finally on my feet, I chuckle, "Bro, we're giants." The realisation hits me as I gaze at Jake and then towards the exit to find that he was already smiling at me– we're thinking the same thing. Tri– Twin telepathy perhaps?

Without a word Jake and I bolt, dodging Avatars engaged in a game of basketball, evading Norm and the two doctors running after us. We hurdle obstacles until a humanoid robot comes into view.

"Sorry! we both exclaim breathlessly, narrowly avoiding a collision as we skid to a stop near some flora. Catching our breath, we're approached by an avatar bearing striking resemblance to Grace.

"Hey, Sully's!" she calls out, closing in on us.

"Grace?" Jake questions, eyeing her up and down.

"Who else were you expecting numbnuts?" she retorts with a grin, with me laughing at the nickname Grace gave him.

As Jake and Grace catch up, I slip away into the area where Avatars are housed, searching for a change of attire. Opting for a top similar to Graces but in a deep shade of blue, that are about a shade darker than my current skin tone, pairing it with green cargo shorts. Hoping to blend in slightly to the flora and fauna of the forest.

Gazing up at the darkening sky, I realize it's nearly nightfall, meaning I had to delink for the night. "Alright, everyone, settle down! Lights out." Grace commands, ushering the remaining humans away.

"See you at dinner kiddos," she adds, flicking the lights off.

Lying back, I can still feel the remnants of the headache, but I decided to let sleep wash it away. Closing my eyes, I drift off into a peaceful slumber.

next II

[fxtalitygod]

VII. ~Survival~

Summary: You were determined to survive longer than anyone, even if you were set to marry him.

Genre: Historical AU, angst, mature, suggestive, arranged-marriage

Warnings: Dark themes, theme/depictions of horror, swearing/language, suggestive, mentioned pedophilia, child molestation, attempted child sexual assault, mentions of adult murder, implications of impregnating, implied Stockholm Syndrome, images/depictions of dead bodies, slight misogynistic themes (if you squint).

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: Soooooo... this is the shortest chapter I've ever written, but it wasn't my intention. To be honest, I kept becoming unhappy with the results and kept going back to fix it, but it never felt right. At the end of the day, I decided to touch into an uncovered territory of (Y/n) that I had debated on for a while and enjoyed the results. I promise the next chapter will be longer and will cover more bases! Enjoy Chapter 7 of Survival!!

P.S. I know I said I'd get this chapter out in May, but it's currently June 1st, 12:26pm (for me), so take it or leave it!!! (╥﹏╥)

JJK Mlist•Taglist Rules•

• Pt.I • Pt. II • Pt. III • Pt. IV • Pt. V • Pt. VI • Pt.VII • Pt. VIII

"Y/n, wait up!"

You turned to see your little sister running over to catch up to your quick pace, grabbing her hand as she extended it to you. The two of you were pushing through the crowd in the market, holding on to each other as if it were for dear life. You would rather be damned than lose any of your younger siblings upon your watch.

"We need to hurry! We have to be home before Mother starts dinner," you noted breathlessly, "She cannot even start if we do not get these ingredients to her on time," referring to the basket you were holding close to your form.

Your sister gave an obedient response as she focused on your swift gait. You could only smile at the young girl's compliance— had it been any of your other more youthful siblings, they may have given you replies of retaliation out of their immaturity, but she was a sweet child who clearly looked up to and admired you. Turning your attention back towards the road of the market square, you saw that you were close to the exit that would lead you on the path home, sighing in relief as you slightly sped up your stride; however, before the two of you could exit you felt a hand wrap around your arm, pulling you and your sister into a secluded area.

"Now, what do we have here?" A gruff voice sounded, "Two pretty little buds have stumbled upon my path."

The voice was clearly a male's, and he was undoubtedly intoxicated as his speech was slurred, plus his stride was far from straight as he walked closer towards you. He circled the two of you like a vulture over a carcass, his eyes narrow and intimidating as he looked at your youthful figures, disgustingly licking his lips. The predator eventually moved into the light, revealing his aged appearance. The man was clearly an older one, his rough, oily skin and few missing teeth being a telling sign of his seniority; if he was any younger than you had assumed, he did not age gracefully.

“I-I’m sorry, sir,” you started, unintentionally stuttering as you spoke, “b-but we have to be home before sunset,” you finished explaining, your voice slightly cracking as you spoke due to the fear swelling in your chest. Despite your own terror, you tried to keep your stance straight to give your sister peace of mind, pulling the little girl behind you to act as her human shield.

“No worries,” the stranger chuckled, before reaching around you and grabbing your sister by her forearm before pushing you onto the ground, holding your chest down with his foot, “I’ll make you both into proper women before then,” the man closed his statement, making his advance on your younger sibling first.

You struggled as you tried to push the man’s foot off your torso, but your attempts were futile. The sick individual only grew tired of your punching, moving, and scratching as he decided to kick you to the nearby wall. Your gaze followed his figure as you weakly got up, only to be pushed into the wall once more, feeling cuts and scratches being made upon your flesh. The male took hold of something at the corner of your eye, still keeping your sister in a tight grip as she struggled. In moments, your hands and legs were tied, and a solid heavy stone was placed upon your lap to keep you from getting up anytime soon.

“Y/N!” Your sister screamed with tears in her eyes as the predator began to touch and kiss her pure skin with his contaminated flesh.

Your mind paced watching the scene, bile rising to your throat as you grew repulsed. Before long, the disgusting creature decided to yank at her clothes— that was the moment you snapped.

“Wait, take me instead! I’ll let you do whatever you want to me!” You yelled in haste. The decision was made with little thought, but as long as your sister was safe, you could live with the disgust.

The man paused to think for a moment before a repulsive grin overtook his expression, quickly going to restrain your sibling before removing your bonds. The moment you were free was the moment you were infested by his greedy touches. If the contact of his fingers and lips didn’t make you want to gag, the feeling of his bulge between your thighs made you want to vomit.

You thought that by sacrificing yourself for your sister's safety, you would be able to tolerate his blatant violation, but you could only feel your resolve weaken as his lingering touches began making your skin burn, but not in a good way. Despite your discomfort, you continued to indulge in his horrific actions, deciding to let out your emotions with tears and balled fists. Things weren't any easier as you heard the choked sobs of your younger sibling as she watched the setting, feeling your dignity and pride being washed away. Everything was going as the man wanted– he was getting his fixture of pleasure while two young girls suffered. If his hard-on wasn't a signal of his enjoyment, his chuckles and wretched words were an unmistakable banner.

"You're such a pretty little thing, so obedient for me. Y'know, I think that deserves a reward," the aged man cackled, moving his hands to remove his garments, changing course to strip you as well.

"(Y/N)!!!" your sister screeched, loud enough for her voice to echo in the alley.

Before you could say any words of comfort for the little girl, the man turned around, obviously not pleased with her outburst. The man's nostrils flared as he raised a hand and hit the young girl. The audible smack did not settle with you, and you could feel a temper you had never felt before build up inside you. You do not remember what happened next, but everything went pitch black for a second, and when you opened your eyes...

All you saw was the body of the pedophile lying on the floor, unmoving and breathless.

You stared at the lifeless figure, not knowing what to say as the scarlet liquid began to pool in a puddle beneath his form. Lifting your crown, you looked around to maybe see who the culprit of killing the man was; however, the alley was empty– just you and your sister. Speaking of the sibling in question, you swiftly moved to retrieve the girl only to see that her restraints were already broken and that she was unconscious, yet breathing.

Questions began to fill your mind, but you pushed them aside, focusing on the current circumstances. You wasted no more time as you went to lift the little girl onto your back, picking up the basket of ingredients before making your trek home. Although one problem was resolved, there was still another pressing matter...what would you tell your parents? Unfortunately, you did not have much time to think up an answer to that as you were now at your front door, sliding the object to reveal the worried expressions of your parents.

The couple rambled, asking what had happened, questioning why the two of you were late and battered. The more they interrogated, the louder the ringing in your ears started to develop, effectively drowning out their uneasy voices. You didn't know what to say or what to do. Would it be a good idea to tell them the truth? What if they wouldn't believe you? Would you be punished? How would they even react?

"We were playing in the fields and had an accident, but we're alright now. (S/n) fell asleep on our way back, she really exerted herself."

The lie was sour in your mouth, but you thought it was the better route when you pictured the corpse lying on the dirt floor. How would you explain such a gruesome sight? The answer is you would not because there wasn't an explanation to give– you didn't even know what had happened.

The night went on as usual, your parents buying your story and continuing regular activity. When your sister had risen, she didn't remember a thing, only saying the last thing she recalled was shopping at the market. Your parents didn't think much of it as they gave her a simple reply before having her eat with the family. When you were presented with your plate, you could hardly stomach the sight of the food; however, you knew it would be rude to waste a precious meal, so you ate and shoved whatever bile threatening to scale your esophagus down.

After the meal, you were tasked with helping your mother clean the dishes. It was quiet between you both as you scrubbed the dishware and bowls, not yet feeling comfortable to voice words. Although you opted to stay muted, your mother did not make indications she would do the same.

"Thank you for taking care of your sister," the woman started, giving you a warm smile, "she really looks up to you, and I could not be prouder of that."

Her words broke you then and there as your eyes glossed over, feeling tears cascade down your face. Your mom stopped what she was doing and took hold of your face to have you look at her, "Whatever is the matter, dear?"

"But I didn't take care of her. She got hurt today because of my incompetence. How can I call myself a good sister after that?" You choked out between quiet sobs.

"Accidents happen, my dear," the parent soothed as she pulled you in, petting your hair to calm you, "The best thing you can do is learn from them."

You could only nod into your mother's bosom, not trusting your own voice at the time being. Maybe she was right– you just had to ensure the incident wouldn't repeat itself. You repeated that statement mentally as she held you, so why did you still feel guilty.

"After all, you took care of it, my dear," your mother sounded, "You killed that vile man."

Your eyes shot open, your breathing heavy, and your pulse uneven as you woke from your nightmare. It wasn't the first time that night terror had occurred, but you had to admit it had been a while since it had. Ever since birthing your children, the nightmares had been more consistent.

At first, they were an occasional occurrence, but as the months passed, once or twice a month turned into three to four times a week. Some lasted longer than others, and others were more frightening than some. Either way, your once dreamless nights began to fill with discomforting and restless evenings. Despite the abnormality of some of the dreams, you only deduced it as a result of stress. You kept yourself levelheaded on the outside, but within, you were drowning in your overwhelming thoughts.

Ever since your everlasting pact with Sukuna, things around the temple began to change significantly, at least for you. Perhaps someone with an ordinary eye would not notice these small changes, but you were focused on the finer details. Minimal adjustments such as staffing, specifically the addition of two new guards. It was not a large sum of security, definitely not an army, but for even one guard to join Sukuna's ranks was unusual. Your husband had not much need for any more manpower as he had plenty of that as it already was; however, the stranger part is that they seemed to be patrolling the areas where the mothers resided. This did not go unnoticed by anyone as rumors were already spreading, but everyone seemed to hold an opposite reaction from your own.

"Well, they definitely do not hurt my eyes.~"

"I heard from one of the kitchen maids that they're Sukuna's spies. Apparently, one of the moms here is being distasteful."

"Our dear husband protecting his prizes, how sweet.~"

"This was bound to happen since last year's inspections– truly disappointing how many failed progeny there were."

Meaningless jokes, endearing words, bustling rumors, but no mentions of concerns. You found this new detail far from good because the guards were not focused on the mothers nor the children but rather on the surroundings of the room they inhabited. Their eyes were cautious and were jumping from place to place, their forms tense, almost as if they were waiting for something to happen. Despite these prominent cues, everyone seemed to overlook it– you had heard a few women state that `Sukuna did not want them looking upon his prizes.`

"Y/n-sama, I've been requested to escort you to the gardens," a voice sounded; however, it was not your attendant but rather Uraume who had called out to you.

You had been seeing the individual more often than usual– what started off as passing glances and minimal greetings had turned into confrontational meetings and regular appearances; this happened to be one of those instances. It did not take you long to rise from your relaxed state, moving to take hold of your children before turning to Sukuna's right hand. Uraume did not say anything, only giving you a bow and a gesture to follow them to the gardens, where your attendant would most likely be waiting. Usually, the girl would be the one who greeted you on these mornings, but because of your recurring night terrors, you opted to have her take the time to focus on other tasks, telling her that you could wake yourself; however, when you first brought this conversation up, she hesitated on the idea. After some convincing, your attendant finally caved and gave you the mornings to yourself, but that did not last long.

It took around a week or two for Sukuna to figure out that you were spending most of your mornings alone, which your partner did not appreciate. Despite his detesting of the news, he did not lash out at anybody for it– the man seemed more apprehensive than infuriated. It took only a few days for Sukuna to appoint his direct helper to retrieve you. From then on, you were seen with Uraume for most of the morning before they left to perform their other duties.

You followed the individual down the corridor, glancing at the walls and what inhabited them. There wasn't much decorating the temple as Sukuna was not a sentimental man– he hardly kept his offerings unless they were of necessity. The walls were blank and lifeless, and viewing them could drive you insane if you focused on them.

"Y/n-sama, do you love Sukun-sama?"

Your breath hitched as you moved your gaze to look at the back of Uraume's head. There question left you speechless; however, it was not because you did not have an answer but rather their sudden interest that took you aback. The person did not vocalize their thoughts much, but you could always tell when they were thinking to themselves.

"Yes, he is my husband. Why would I not love him?" you quickly stated.

"You do not have to lie to me (Y/n)-sama."

You could not help but worry at Uraume's comment. Did they know your intentions? Were they going to remove your twins from your care? Had they already discussed this with Sukuna? How long did you have left?

"And where is your evidence of that, Uraume?" you managed to keep your voice leveled despite the anxiety creeping up on you, but you needed to keep your composure if you wanted to win this little tussle, being if you had to fight at all.

A chuckle resonated through the hall.

"You're right... I have no proof, only my own conspiracies. I admire your ability to hold that over me– your defensive side is a site to see. If I'm being honest, when you first came to the temple, I did not think much of you as I thought you were just another woman to bear Sukuna's kin; you proved me wrong (Y/n)-sama. I do not understand how you managed, but you have Sukuna-sama wrapped around your finger like I have never seen before," Uruame voiced, a lightness to their tone before continuing, "Perhaps it is for the best, after all, you are both seem satisfied with your current standing."

For the rest of the trip, you sustained the following stillness, only giving the individual a hum in response to their last comment. When the garden came into view, you internally sighed in relief, glad to rid yourself of this mind-wracking conversation. Too bad things couldn't stay that way.

"Y/n-sama, your village has started to retaliate against Sukuna's command. Truth be told, it has been going on for the past year; however, things have started to escalate— for the sake of your family unit, keep yourself on guard," The righthand warned, turning to leave you to your daily activities.

Just peachy, another occurrence to write down in your list of troubles.

You would not get proper rest in a while.

Taglist:

@littlemochi @mistalli @youngbeansprout @bbylime @bangtan-forever1479 @idktbhloley @izayas-rings @o3o-aya @pyschopotatomeme @persephonehemingway @otomaniac @meforpr3sident @alurafairy @nezuscribe @my-simp-land @zukuphilia @niya729 @spiritofstatic @bbittersw33t @kashasenpai @decaysan @honeybaegle @ygslvr @outrofenty

[kraken-o-doyle]

My delulu brain gives you an assessment of the characters of Blades. Fair warning it's a lot 😂 Enjoy.

Nia, obviously her backstory is literally being snatched up and taught how to use her light from literal birth is controversial to say less. And after joining our party, she began seeing all the things wrong with what she was conditioned to believe - and dear god that would fuick up a person (depends on the matter). Even a year later Nia is struggling with the fact that she is still the shadow creature and I think losing MC made her stronger and less shy, but at the same time yours truly believes she cannot trust anyone - it was only revealed to MC that she is still struggling with the aftermath of Dreadlord dying and turns into this creature when she is in danger BY ACCIDENT OR SHEER DUMB LUCK.(PLOT DEMANDS IT) why is MC still covering for her?????

Imtura at first was literally denying the fact that MC was even alive and to be fair, she is the last person to be recruited into the team in book 1, but in my humble opinion it's evident that Imtura and MC(moi mc)relate more to one another than any other character. And her not making too many friends due to being a ✨princess✨is such BS but you know (I would be more than grateful to be in a princess' corner as a good friend) and as stated in book 1, we weren't told she was a princess because she's a captain of a ship and that way she could keep others' respect before they literally fall over themselves to please her. And when our little party didn't treat her any different before and after knowing who she was, she opened up...

Circling back to Imtura believing MC to be dead; if I was in her position and a friend that I saved the world with just 💨, I would too think they're gone since the other implications are that they are being tortured in a dungeon and bled dry by an empress' daughter. 😳

Mal, sigh, he is just wracked with guilt from losing MC, I kid you not I feel like he made some deals to try and find MC; only for someone like Tyril to find out and absolutely berate him (which is why Tyril in the newest chapter called him reckless). I'm sure there is gonna be more reckless behaviour that Mal had done through the year for both characters to use their first names. And got his stupid ass corrupted by shadow - whether or not he knows if he's infested and becoming a Thrall for the Ash Empire... we'll have to wait and see.

Tyril, from what we know so far tried from beginning to end to find MC (to be honest from what we were told Nia and Mal helped a lot until they stopped? why though - correct me if I am wrong.) even if you are romantically involved or just platonic friends, he literally sees you as an equal and is equally happy to see you back in the land of the living. Him grovelling and desperately trying to find answers on how to find MC shows what type of person he is, but I'm sure he is keeping some feelings or all of them back due to just being happy to have MC back in his life. (And doesn't want to burden MC with his problems)

Aerin better come back because whether or not I missed his jabs at the group and him only having eyes for MC(s phone, do you have some games). But genuinely what did he give the group (only heartache), because if you didn't catch him in book 1 he literally comes in one chapter - takes a stab at MC's celibacy - leaves the next. Where the hell did you crawl off to Aerin, did you go off to finish off someone?the king. Jesus, imagine. Or even worse he won't come back this book...

WILL WE GET KADE, LOOLA AND THREEP THIS BOOK BECAUSE ITS DIFFICULT WITHOUT THEM. I miss them a lot, also definitely not catching up with Kade like we should've; imagine if MC dies and the rest of the group (after saving the world and whatnot) comes back with her corpse with a note attached - sorry. 😐

I would scream if we have a therapy session with some certain characters - say certain someones we haven't seen in the WHOLE BOOK. Very disappointed in that department. Because from where I am sitting we NEED YEARS WORTH OF THERAPY.

[azumasoroshi]

minidura chapter 2 react (izaya has stopped functioning)

i already forgot what i named the last post whoops

anyway

shizuo jumpscare

as a psychology student who is also taking sociology goddamn do i love the whole community aspect of durarara and the forms. wish i could start a festival in my town just by suggesting it online somewhere. it's so cool how you have no idea of the qualifications of the people you talk to (just like on tumblr except this is all ikebukuro people. and izaya)

i wonder if izaya being the only member of the cast (afaik) to not live in ikebukuro is symbolic of how he feels has to distance himself from the chaos at least a little bit in order to not get swept up in it himself. it's like a self restraint type thing

that's probably really obvious though forgive me im still dutsing off my character analysis lack-of-skills ANYWAY

tom is such a malewife honestly

i dont think ive ever had chocolate bananas before. huh. strawberries sure bananas nah

he looks so cute in that last panel ghghghjhhrhghgghjf

i dont get to see enough of normal laid back shizuo behavior with all the shizaya art i look at lmfAOO

i swear to god if celty's in a kimono 💀 shinra is about to be the most annoying man alive

stupid puns my beloved

the way tom's eyes are drawn in that last panel reminds me of like. american cartoon but i cant put my finger on it

is it arnold from the magic school bus or is it arthur from arthur. who knows

"you absolutely cant get into a fight today" ah so the peace wont last. damn

EGGPLANTZAYA

i cant wait for izaya to show up this chapter and annoy the living hell out of shizuo

maybe i should make eggplantzaya my profile picture (i wont because im too attached to rantaro. not even him as a character just the profile picture) (also because i cant remember where i found the profile picture and im too scared to let it go)

i see that blurb with the really cute izaya picture on the left and im assuming it's just a "this is orihara izaya btw. he's really annoying and shizuo hates him for ruining his life" type thing but god i wish i could read it anyway ill take any crumbs

HERE HE COMES!!!!!!!

oh nvm he's getting shafted for now, we transition to-

WHAT DID I FUCKING TELL YOU

celty in a kimono is inevitable. you cannot escape

she is cute though <3 this might be her first festival since she's irish too damn

that just reminded me god i wish celty talked in a super thick irish accent. some people have already mentioned that but im reiterating it because maybe some abridged series will consider it

wait oh my god is this gonna be another hotpot party type "izaya organized all this because he's lonely and wants an excuse to hang out with people that tolerate him" thing. amazing wonderful i love the izaya slander going on in this manga today

and i was about to say "oh i guess that wasnt izaya's silhouette in the shizuo-tom panel" but he's holding a chocolate banana 💀rip tom's pay i guess

i can imagine how that went but i dont think ill have to imagine for much longer

oh yeah it was right in the next panel lmAO at least you got free food izaya dont complain

"he looks like he's having fun" awwwwwwwwwwwww nothing more fun than ticking off shizuo and not getting hurt in the process

just realized he has the constantly closed eyes pff gin ichimaru lookin edgy ass bitch

he opens his eyes like it's a dramatic supervillain reveal but it's really just him being lonely. thanks for always exposing him shinra mwah

WHY IS HE ACTING SO EVIL. doing the fucking arm spread like this is a bad thing what is wrong with him

i love how mikado shinra and celty are looking at each other like "this fucking guy. cant have one normal conversation"

PFFFFFFFFFFFF

i know shinra is laughing his ass off beneath those glasses rn

izaya's face is amazing actually. you know that one scene in bungou stray dogs wan where atsushi gets dazai a gift and dazai glitches out and stops processing information because he doesnt know how to handle appreciation. this is literally that scene

huh. now i understand why durarara and bsd always get recommended together

KILL HIM MIKADO!! KILL HIM WITH KINDNESS HE'S ALREADY HALFWAY TO HELL

literal proof that izaya ceases to function when someone actually likes him. idc that this isn't canon it's canon because i say so

(side note MAN did they have to give airi noticable cleavage even in her chibi form. come on. you didnt do it for celty you dont have to do it to her 😭 the amount of fanservice with her drives me nuts in the main series)

my man is BROKEN just look at him

local gay baby realizes he accidentally made everyone happy. oops

walker and erika in the background too <3 they're so cute ugh

YOU DUMBASS

i knew itd be another hotpot thing oh mygod he's so. fucking idiot you couldve just tagged along with them 😭

it's only once he imagines shizuo that he snaps too pffffffffft

also namie appearance!!!!!!! hope she appears more in future chapters

10/10 chapter would bully izaya again

oops almost missed the ending drawing!! so cuteeee <3333

[mangoisms]

wolves without teeth ━ miyuki kazuya

━ chapter two: need something that i can confess (’til all my sleeves are stained red) / read chapter one

━ word count: 6.2k

━ warnings: none

━ masterpost

You knew your day wasn’t going to be great. The drone and then the third degree you suffered during lunch proved that. At least things were fine in the city but this — being face to face with the one person who knows you the best, the one person who could probably figure out who you are…

It’s not great.

You jump to your feet. Too quickly, you guess, by the way he tenses and takes several steps back, eyeing you warily. 

You can only imagine what you must look like to him. 

You didn’t take after Spider-Man’s red and blue color scheme, opting for black and white — mostly black. The mask is the same, with the big white eyes, and then a hood over that. Despite working hard to be the ‘friendly neighborhood Spider-Woman,’ you still use your slightly-creepy appearance (at night anyway) and powers to your advantage. Delphi says you look like an eldritch creature sometimes. 

With the low lighting in the neighborhood and the full moon above your heads, you understand his unease.

Still. You would rather die than ever hurt him.

Miyuki Kazuya. Your best friend. You’ve known him for over sixteen years. You’ve been with him through everything. 

Everything.

And the way he looks at you now, not like his best friend, but a stranger, a dangerous stranger… something inside you crumples.

Your chest feels heavy, each breath, each beat of your heart harder than the last. 

Your fingers twitch to unmask, to reveal yourself and say, Don’t look at me like that. You know who I am. You know me. Everything about me. I would never hurt you. Never.

You’ve avoided seeing the others like this. Mostly because you fear they might recognize you, the shape of your body, the way you move. 

You avoid Kazuya for the same reasons. And you knew, if you ever did stumble into him, you two wouldn’t exactly be buddy-buddy. But thinking that and actually being faced with it are two different things. This hostility. This guarded expression, this distrust — it hurts more than you would like to admit. Even if you should know better and should’ve realized it, that the others would regard you with wonder and amazement but not him. Never him.

You know why he doesn’t like her.

Spider-Woman, you mean.

He sees you as trouble. 

Not the good kind, either, not the kind that comes in the form of a hot-headed, passionate Southpaw pitcher with a moving fastball, with a pitching style just waiting to be turned into something great. Not a tricky batter he has to figure out how to strike out, not a pitcher he has to break down. 

You are none of that.

You are the kind of trouble that brings danger, bad luck, and misfortune. You are the kind of trouble that would put his life in danger.

“Well?”

You shake your head quickly.

“No? No to what? No to leaving?”

You open your mouth. The back of your neck explodes into tingles no don’t say anything don’t open your mouth he will know hewillknow —

Stop. Stop. Just stop. 

Your heart pounds too hard in your chest. You feel cast ashore. Struggling to get your head above the water. 

A dog barks somewhere in the distance, a cat yowls, getting into a fight with another, a few houses down, someone’s garage is opening, next door, the son and daughter of the couple there start to argue, in front of you, Kazuya shifts, a hand floating to the pocket of his pants, where his phone is —

No.

Everything comes back into focus. The extra information fades to the back of your mind. Kept in range but not your primary concern in this moment.

Your primary concern in this moment is him. And you know, you should’ve realized it, but you cannot talk. He would know instantly. He would recognize your voice. 

Sixteen years. You’ve been friends for sixteen years. 

If your roles were reversed, if he ended up like you right now, you think you’d recognize his voice. You would recognize it anywhere.

And you know it’s the same for him.

So, you shake your head again, then fold your index, middle, and ring fingers to your palm, leaving your pinky and thumb out. You point at it, then shake your head. Don’t call the cops.

He wouldn’t. It was just a bluff. But how can Spider-Woman know that?

“Oh, come on,” he scoffs. “I know you can talk. People have heard you. That’s how you got the media to call you that ridiculous name.”

Now that’s just uncalled for!

Sorry. Focus.

You shrug at him, shaking your head.

He sighs. “Whatever, I guess. I don’t really care. Could you leave?”

You should.

You really should. 

But your feet stay on the ground. You place a hand on your chest, chest heaving breaths for a moment, then using both of your hands to gesture downward, shoulders raising sheepishly. Just a few minutes to rest. Please?

Kazuya narrows his eyes. “You can’t do that on anyone else’s roof?”

A shrug. Then you clasp your hands together in another imploring gesture. 

He watches you for a second, arms still crossed tightly over his chest, every inch of his body language defensive. 

And for a reason you aren’t sure of, even after being friends with him for so long, he says, “Fine.”

But then he turns, heading for the small hatch. The hatch is in his room instead of the hall. You noticed when moving in and the owner didn’t have much to say for explaining why. None of you ever come up here because it’s kind of dangerous — completely flat without anything running along the perimeter. A simple stumble could have you falling over the side. You don’t know why Kazuya is up here but… what you do know is that he is about to leave you here alone and something like disappointment bubbles in your chest.

You aren’t sure what you were expecting. For him to stay up here and make small talk? Ask about your day? You can’t even talk around him.

So, you watch him go, disappearing back into the house. When the hatch is firmly shut and locked, you collapse onto the ground, dropping your head into your hands.

“Stupid,” you whisper to yourself. “So stupid.”

You let yourself wallow in self-pity for a few minutes before getting up. You’ll make a circuit of the neighborhood then come back. As yourself, not Spider-Woman.

Not much goes on here. A few teenagers playing a night game of soccer. They cheer when they see you, yelling out greetings. You make sure to wave back before you go. You have to make a quick escape when you glimpse a police car slowly patrolling the neighborhood.

Did he…?

No. He didn’t. He couldn’t have. He would never.

Others must have seen you and called it in. The older ones, probably, who disapprove of your actions. 

You brush off the thoughts and land in an alley near the house; a couple cats, including the newly-returned Momo, hiss at you. They usually crawl into the house’s tiny backyard through a small hole in the fence and that’s where you and Eijun feed them breakfast and dinner. 

“Aw, you know who I am. Don’t be like that,” you say, kneeling and extending your hand to her. Her emerald green eyes flash in the night. She hisses and swipes a paw at you. 

“Man, I can’t get a break,” you mutter, standing and, after ensuring no one can see you, vaulting over the fence and climbing up to your room where you quickly and quietly change into your normal clothes. You do your best to fix your appearance, then you grab your bag, drop back down, and come around the street. Terribly complicated, you know, but like always, Kazuya throws a wrench in your plans.

When you enter, you expect to find Kazuya in the kitchen or living room, but he isn’t. You frown, kicking off your shoes in the genkan, and slipping further inside. Eijun and Wakana’s bedrooms are down here and he has no business being there. 

You let yourself tune into your senses. Next door is quiet by now. So are most of the houses around. Movement upstairs. He’s here.

Like a thread connecting you two, your senses easily hone in on him, your feet leading you to his bedroom, where you push open the door and pause in the doorway as you see him climbing back down from the hatch.

“Kazuya?”

“Jesus —”

He jumps, nearly missing the last step to the ground. Every muscle in you wants to jump forward to steady him but you withhold it, seeing him regain his balance with a few well-placed expletives under his breath, feet back safely on the wood floors.

“Seriously, you have to stop doing that,” he complains, a petulant expression on his face as he turns to look at you, closing the hatch behind him.

“Sorry,” you say, meaning it. Sometimes you forget how quiet you are these days and scare the shit out of him (and the others) on accident. But to be fair, he does the same to you. 

You glance between him and the hatch, watching him stretch to his toes to lock it. 

“What were you doing up on the roof?” You don’t even have to pretend to be mystified. 

Was he… No, he was probably just checking. Just making sure you’d left eventually. Else a well-placed threat for calling the cops would come again, you’re sure. 

But you still wait with bated breath for his answer. What will he say? Will he tell you the truth? Complain about how ‘Spider-Girl’ took up post on the roof? Probably say something about making her pay rent if she keeps coming?

You get your answer in the next moment.

“Just thought I heard something.”

You laugh. It feels a little breathless. There’s no way. “Like what?”

He shrugs. “Dunno. Maybe the cats got up there. But I didn’t see anything. It’s nothing, I guess.”

You latch onto the opportunity for distraction. “The cats —”

He holds up a hand, stepping around you to go back downstairs. “Relax, I already fed them.”

“Thank you.”

He waves it off. You follow him distractedly.

He lied. Kazuya lied to you. No mention of Spider-Woman. You’d have believed it, too, were it not for the fact that your senses are particularly tuned for that kind of thing and, well, you had quite literally been there.

Why did he lie?

You struggle to decide on whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing. 

Man, who are you kidding? You know the answer to that.

Hope blossoms in your chest. Could you make him like Spider-Woman? Or at the very least tolerant? He lied — to you. His best friend. You wouldn’t have reacted negatively to hearing about it. Not at all. And yet…

You don’t know. But a part of you wants to believe that this could be hope. 

“Are you hungry?” he asks, opening the door to the fridge.

You blink, coming back to yourself. “Am I — oh. You know the answer to that. I’m —”

“Always hungry,” he finishes, chuckling. “Are you sure you’re not pregnant?”

“Kazuya!”

He just laughs. It’s impossible for you not to smile at the sound, warmth unspooling in your chest. That heavy feeling is back again but it’s sweet, full of honey-thick warmth. 

God, you’re so…

He tosses a grin over his shoulder, amber brown eyes twinkling with mirth. Nothing like earlier. He is open to you, warm. This is how it should be.

“I’m not pregnant,” you grumble, though the effect is negated by the way your lips twitch. 

“It’s okay if you are!”

“Shut up! I’m not!” 

This is from a few months ago, when they’d all noticed your increased food intake; all of them were admittedly concerned about it and theorizing on their own as to why. Kuramochi was the one who had to bite the bullet and ask if you were pregnant, since that was the only feasible explanation they could come up with. (Kazuya privately insists he knew better but went along with it, anyway; you think he’s a big fat liar.)

While embarrassing, as you had to stammer through a firm denial that you were not pregnant — you hadn’t been with someone since last year — it was better than them concluding you were Spider-Woman. 

Kazuya shuts the fridge door with his hip, turning, hands settling on your shoulders, squeezing, a mock earnest look on his face.

“We’d help, you know. With the appointments… and then after… it’d really be more economical.”

“Help? God save a child raised by the funky bunch of idiots.”

He throws his head back and laughs. You push his chest gently, face warming at his proximity. He smells like cinnamon. 

Though you’re pushing him away, the urge to grab him and bury your face in his chest is monumental, like a tsunami crashing into you. 

You’re strong enough to lift a car and then some but in moments like these, you feel so weak.

Especially as his hand comes to your cheek, eyes narrowing at something on your face.

“Huh,” he says, reaching up to pull the band-aid on the cut on your temple free. “This looks… a lot better than earlier.”

Shit. You’d forgotten about that.

The skin is no longer red and irritated and the cut itself is scabbed over. That’s the healing factor. Great for when it comes to nastier injuries, that way you’re not hobbling around and making the others suspicious, but for the smaller stuff, the ones they notice… not great. You usually have to do some makeup magic so as to not raise alarm. 

“It feels better,” you quickly say. “Probably because of that ointment you put on it.”

“Huh.”

Your stomach rumbles at that moment, saving you as he snickers.

“Come on,” you needle him, turning him around to face the kitchen, pushing him towards the stove. “I’m hungry.”

“Make your own food!”

“Aw, but it’s never as good as yours!”

“Kiss-ass,” he mutters, turning towards the pantry to grab a bag of rice. “Fine. Go find something for us to watch.”

That’s better. You drop a kiss to his shoulder then turn away quickly. You used to be able to do things like that without a second thought. These days…

You shake your head, stepping into the living room and picking up the remote.

“What are you in the mood for?”

He blows out a breath. “To see some other people make bad decisions.”

Bad decisions, huh?

You watch his back for a moment. He moves fluidly in the kitchen, hands opening cabinets mindlessly, everything second-nature to him by this point. You remember what it used to be like, him bumbling through every move but it was necessary, because his dad wasn’t doing anything to help cook or take care of the house or the bills and you and your parents wouldn’t learn about this for a few months, but when they did, when they did, oh, they were furious. 

Your mom had you take him out of the house, so she and your dad could talk to Miyuki Kazushi — well, talk is generous. Whatever they said that day dissolved any remaining relations between your parents but he picked up his slack. Most of it. 

Kazuya still took the reins on the food. He refused to let it go. You think it was his way of coping with his mom’s death and his dad’s distance.

Now, it’s one of the main ways he takes care of the ones he loves.

You would know.

You don’t come back to the house the next day.

It’s too soon. And who knows if he is even out there?

All of this is just… wishful thinking and though you hope, you know you cannot let yourself get carried away with trying to win his approval. It might only hurt you more in the long run. 

Not to mention, this is a line you logically know you should not cross. 

You won’t.

“You better not write that in any language other than Japanese!”

“Leave me alone! I get to write my wish in any language I please!”

An arm slides around your shoulders. Kazuya pulls you into his side and he uses his other hand to try and steal the pen from you.

You grin, wiggling out of his grasp. 

“Seriously,” he whines. “First, you pick out white and you won’t tell me why. Now, you want to write your wish in a language I don’t understand.” His fingers find a ticklish spot at your ribs, above the obi tied into a bow on the right side of your waist. 

You giggle, jerking away from him. “Stop that! It’s nothing, Kazuya. I mean, it’s just… you know. We’re graduating soon.”

He rolls his eyes. “Next year.”

“This is still our last year.”

“Well, still. It’s not like we have anything to worry about.” He pulls you into his side again and the two of you step away from the vendor handing out the tanzaku in the usual five colors — purple, red, blue, yellow, and white. 

Bodies shuffle up and down the street. Hiratsuka is bustling with activity tonight, the start of the weekend for Tanabata. Located a prefecture over in Kanagawa, the five of you had jumped on the Shinkansen earlier, taking the hour and a half ride from Toshima to Hiratsuka Station, where the festival is centered around the shopping street on the north side of the station.

It’s… a lot on your senses. But there is no trouble here. Focusing on Kazuya helps.

Warm lights illuminate the street, the sun already below the horizon, most of the sky midnight blue with sparse smudges of deep purple and red. 

Above your head, decorations flutter in the breeze, glowing lanterns and fukinagashi, streamers representing threads for those wanting to be better weavers, gossamer amikazari symbolizing wishes by fishermen for full nets, hanging kinchaku bags for prosperity, and orizuru for longevity. 

You still have distant memories of your first Tanabata, when you were six. His mom was sick by that point and his dad was worried sick. In the hopes of distracting him, your parents brought the two of you to the festival, along with your siblings. 

You remember taking turns being carried on your dad’s shoulders, the tepid heat of the July evening, colorful decorations fully engaging your attention as they fluttered above your heads and even tickled your face a few times, when you came up on lower-hanging ones. 

Stage productions of the tale of Orihime and Hikoboshi regaling you while you feasted on yakitori, chicken skewers with soy sauce and karashi, and takoyaki, batter fried balls with pieces of octopus, tenkasu, pickled ginger, and onion, slathered with mayonnaise. For dessert, mitarashi dango, dumplings made from rice flour, grilled, then coated with a sweet soy glaze, and imagawayaki, a stuffed pancake-like sweet filled with custard. 

You wrote your wishes together that year. A wish shared — for Miyuki Mayumi to get better, to beat the pancreatic cancer killing her.

In the end, it would not come true.

But Tanabata remains one of your favorite holidays. Kazuya never accompanied you and your family again after that, but after high school, he started to come around again.

This year is more special, though. The five of you have made it a tradition to visit the festival when it came around, most often in Tokyo; but you and Kazuya will be leaving after graduation next year, to… well, you don’t know yet. The NPB is going to try their best to lure him to stay here a couple years and the MLB is gearing to snatch him up as soon as the draft opens. 

But regardless of where he’ll end up, you’ll be with him. You two are a package deal. If you stay here, you’ll help the team as an interpreter for the international players. If you cross the pacific, you’ll be his interpreter. 

(That’s another story for another time, but it wasn’t a conclusion you two had to come easily or quickly at all.)

So, you’re here in Hiratsuka, Kanagawa, at the Shonan Hiratsuka Tanabata Festival, one of the largest in the country. Most years, you guys didn’t dress up, but this year, at your behest, all of you did. 

You adjust your hold on the tanzaku and the pen. Your nails, freshly painted midnight blue, glint under the lights; your toes match since you’d be in sandals. The color coincidentally goes with the dark blue yukata Kazuya wears, the color flattering his light brown skin. The obi around his hips — that you’d tied for him — is white. Your yukata is pale blue, with patterns of lilies, the obi dark blue. Your makeup and hair are done, the most done up you’ve been in a while with school and your nightly escapades. 

Haruichi, Furuya, and several other old classmates had come out here, too, but you’ve all split up by this point. You’ll meet again for the fireworks. 

Kazuya nudges you over to a bamboo tree with some space left for your tanzaku. 

“Let me go first,” you say, reluctantly stepping out of his embrace and motioning for him to turn around so you could use him to write out your wish.

“It better be in Japanese,” he threatens, turning obligingly. “Like I said, it’s bad enough you’re going with white instead of yellow.”

“And what about you, huh? You never pick yellow. It’s always white! Why can’t I do white this year and why do you get to do yellow?”

“I have my reasons!”

“Well, so do I,” you laugh, clicking the pen and splaying out the white strip against his back. Despite his blustering about your color choice, he bends forward a little, helping you write easier.

Just like the idea of hanging up tanzaku on bamboo trees is supposed to help wishes come true, the color of the tanzaku has certain meanings as well. You’ve always used yellow, the color of friendship and also helpful for wishes about relationships. Now, this year, after everything, you’ve picked out white, a color for determination and responsibility. 

Kazuya used to pick that one, too. For baseball, obviously. Now, he’s picked yellow. You don’t know why but you can guess even he is feeling it, the impending separation from your friend group. Kuramochi is staying here to go to grad school for social work and Wakana and Eijun have one more year to go as well. It’s just the two of you that might be leaving. 

You know why you picked white. You need the hope, a wish for determination and responsibility to keep you on track, to keep others safe, but more importantly…

Keep my friends and family safe. 

You don’t know what you’d do if anything happened to them because of Spider-Woman.

You really don’t.

You tap his shoulder and he straightens, turning around to take the pen from you. You turn around to return the favor and also hang it up on the tree, finding a branch level with your chest and tying the tanzaku there. You feel the pressure of Kazuya holding down the strip against your shoulder, the pen moving quickly, then nothing.

You turn.

“No looking!”

“Aw, why not?”

He shoves your face away when you try to see what he’s written. You giggle, batting away his hand. 

He glares at you but it holds little heat. “Don’t ask me that, you menace — you wrote yours in German!” He stabs the pen in the direction of yours, swaying in the breeze, blue ink glistening in the aforementioned language.

You laugh at that for a while. 

You’re still giggling when he finishes tying his and quickly turns you away from the tree before you can get a glimpse of it. 

“You learn a couple languages and you get unbearable,” he says, mock disappointed, shaking his head.

“It’s good practice!”

“As if you need practice.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“Well, I have to make sure I don’t run you off before I get to the US.”

“Run me off? Miyuki Kazuya, don’t insult me!” You point at him threateningly. “You’re stuck with me until we die, you hear me, mister? And then after, too!”

He grins, throwing an arm around your shoulder as you start walking again. “So, my luck holds. I’m happy to hear it.”

“Yeah, I bet you are.” You bump your hip against his. “You owe me dango for that comment.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, alright. Let’s find some.”

You come up on a stall near one of the stage productions. While Kazuya gets in line for it, you find yourself drifting toward the assembled crowd of people, mostly kids. 

You watch, a small smile tugging at your lips as the actors tell the folktale of Orihime, a gifted weaver, and Hikoboshi, a hard-working cow herder.

The story goes that after Orihime and Hikoboshi were wed, they were so in love, they began to neglect their duties. In doing so, they incurred the wrath of Orihime’s father, Tentei, the emperor of heaven. To punish them, they were exiled to separate ends of the Milky Way. They can only meet on the seventh day of the seventh month of the year, provided they are diligent in their obligations throughout the rest of the year. It’s based off real constellations, with Orihime being Vega and Hikoboshi being Altair. It’s one of your favorite tales. 

Kazuya appears at your side at one point, scaring you slightly when you realize he’s next to you.

He snickers. “Here.” He passes you a skewer with dango, golden brown and glistening. 

“Thank you,” you say, pulling off the first dumpling into your mouth. You nod towards the set-up, the narrator now connecting the story to the celebration of Tanabata. “You remember this?”

“The usual tragic love story. Sure.”

“It’s romantic.”

“Is it?” he asks, just to annoy you, you’re sure. You still offer him the dango, anyway.

“Yes, it is.”

“To you, maybe,” he chuckles, leaning forward to take the second piece of dango into his mouth. “I just think it’s proof that love makes you stupid.”

You pull the skewer back sharply, narrowing your eyes at him. “Love… is the most important thing in the world, Miyuki Kazuya.”

He looks down at you, lips quirked; the warm lights of the street turn his eyes chocolate brown, so easy to get lost into. 

“Is it?”

You tilt your head. “You love me, don’t you?”

Feelings like those always come heavy. Especially when it comes to him. Not easily spoken, not easily found, it always threatens to suffocate you when it does come up. Like now. 

He’s close enough for you to smell cinnamon, overlayed by the smell of sweet fried foods. Everything else fuzzes out. Your senses stop whispering about the others around you, the police stationed throughout the street, the potential dangers of those closest to you. 

Everything is always so much easier with him. A balm to the rest of the world. The only time you get to breathe, when things go quiet, and it’s just you, a girl in love with her best friend, crushed by the knowledge that he loves you, too. Just… in a different way.

The quirk of Kazuya’s lips eases into something softer, something more tender. A small thing, but no less brilliant, no less breathtaking, his eyes crinkling with it, looking down at you with a familiar affection that punches the air out of you like it usually does when he looks so openly at you.

“That is true,” he says softly.

Honey-thick warmth wells up in your chest, clogging your lungs and the arteries of your heart. Moments like these you can hardly believe you get the privilege of seeing that openness. But you also know it’s sixteen years of work, of friendship, of time spent together and of fights resolved. 

You’re so lucky to be here. So lucky. 

The thought overwhelms you, especially as you say, “And I love you.”

He doesn’t say anything. Just looks at you. 

You look away first. “That’s not stupid, is it?”

His hand finds yours, catcher’s callouses ticklish against the softer skin of your palms; he squeezes gently. “No. It’s not.”

You look back at the set-up. “Love does make people do foolish things. But it’s love. That distinction matters more than anything else. Maybe it doesn’t work out but the love was there, wasn’t it? It still is.”

You wonder, who are you talking about? Orihime and Hikoboshi or yourselves? You aren’t so different from them. The thing is, their love was returned. They loved too much. And you… well. The ending of that story hasn’t been written yet, has it?

Not yet.

After you finish your dango, the two of you head for the meet-up point with the others, at a small park on the other side of the street, where you’ll wait and watch the fireworks. 

You and Kazuya are the first to arrive and he excuses himself to the restroom for the moment, leaving you to lean against a large tree, branches decorated with tanzaku. A warm breeze flutters through your hair. 

You people-watch for a little bit, smiling softly as you watch excited kids drag tired-looking parents around to find good spots for the fireworks, teenagers chattering together happily, moving in groups of three or more, and older couples, alone, traversing calmly, just happy to be here with each other. 

But though your attention is on them, you still feel the slightest prickle at the back of your neck. Not a tingling sensation that tells you danger imminent, no, it’s not danger, per se, but rather —

“BOO!”

You smile. “Hey, Sachiko. What’d you guys get up to?”

Kuramochi’s familiar laugh fills the air. “I told you! She’s impossible to scare these days!”

Umemoto Sachiko, one of the old managers for Seido in your year, scowls, glaring a little at you. “What’s your secret?! That was a great scare!”

“Eh, it was okay,” Kuramochi says.

“You don’t get to talk because even you said you can’t scare her these days.”

You laugh. “There’s no secret. I’d say Mochi’s just ruined it for himself and others by scaring me too often. I’m vigilant these days.”

Heh. Vigilant.

Sachiko swats at his shoulder, grumbling. “Great job, Kuramochi. Great job.”

It’s him, Sachiko, Natsukawa Yui, the other old manager in your year, Wakana, Shirasu, and Nori. 

Sachiko and Yui only really came for you. Whenever you spared the time to visit the club, they — and your old senpai, Fujiwara, and your old kouhai, Haruno — often hung out with you. Said it was nice to talk to someone from the ‘outside.’ Sachiko is a diehard baseball fan, sure, but even they felt the lag sometimes. Being a manager was often a thankless job — at least in high school and college. That’s why you stayed away.

Well, that, and you weren’t that interested in it, anyway.

Kazuya had made the mistake of assuming you’d take up the position when you two started Seido. It had been one of your nastier arguments, mostly because you didn’t want to be a manager. You wanted to join the cheerleading team. And when he learned that, he said — That’s basically the same thing, isn’t it? 

As a matter of fact, no, it was not — the cheerleading team did cheer for the baseball games but they did for the soccer games, and they had their own meets, too.

To which he said — There’s actual competitions for cheerleading?

You didn’t talk to him for a month after that.

You’ve always supported him in his baseball endeavors. Even when he was being a weirdo about it, like when he came sprinting to you after a game against Chris-senpai’s old junior high league, raving about how he was going to go to Seido and challenge him since he was the only catcher Kazuya ever lost against. Of course, that didn’t pan out but still. You’ve always been there for him. 

But… you didn’t want to be a manager, someone relegated to the sidelines of his story. You wanted to have your own thing, too. Sure, maybe you could’ve shined enough as a manager but… on the cheerleading team, it was entirely separate. The Seido cheer club was one of the best in the Kanto region. They consistently won meets and competitions — more than Inashiro, who were really only a baseball powerhouse. You’d liked cheerleading since you were a kid. Even with all the stereotypes around it, mostly because you knew they were just that — stereotypes. Falsities. Everyone in the cheer club at Seido was kind to you and the same could be said about Waseda’s cheer club. 

Sure, in high school, you encountered a couple girls who were particularly nasty, believing this to be some kind of trashy American movie where they could be the main characters, but for the most part, it was fun. 

Kazuya understood eventually and apologized to you. Really apologized. You suspect even to this day, he feels guilty about undermining you like that. 

You still miss it now, six months after quitting. But it was too dangerous at the time. You didn’t know your own strength. If you’d kept going, you’re sure you would’ve hurt someone. Or worse. 

“So, how are things in school?” Yui asks, a warm smile on her lips. 

“Miyuki is as annoying as ever, I assume?” Sachiko tacks on. Yui makes a noise of agreement. 

You grin. “As ever. Things are good. Little weird but good.”

“Is it true you quit the cheerleading team?” Sachiko asks next, head tilting. 

You grimace. “Ah, yeah…”

“I get it,” Yui says. “I’m glad baseball activities are over by now, since it’s the last month before the term ends.”

Sachiko nods firmly. “More time to focus on your grades! Gotta make sure those Americans have no choice but to employ you!”

You laugh, relaxing, pleased they understand — that they are supportive. You understand the others’ concern but… you’d prefer this. You can’t go back on your decision so, all that there is left to do is look forward. 

“Ah, that’s exciting,” Yui sighs, a little wistful. “I’d love to go overseas.”

“Once I start making money, I’ll fly you guys out.”

They beam. 

You ask about them, how their studies are going. Yui goes to Meiji and Sachiko goes to the University of Tokyo. The former is studying chemistry to go into pharmaceuticals and the latter is doing sports medicine, intent on continuing to work with baseball but in a much more important (and recognized) position. They’ll be graduating next year in March, too, just like you, Kazuya, and Kuramochi.

“ARE WE LATE?!” Eijun’s boisterous voice interrupts your conversation. 

“We’re not late, idiot!” comes Kanemaru’s familiar bark; all of you turn, seeing him, Eijun, Haruichi, and Furuya join your group. “If we were late — we’d know.”

“Well, how do you know that?!”

“We’d be hearing the fireworks already, Sawamura,” he says, exasperated. “They haven’t gone off. So, no, we’re not late.”

“Excellent!” He turns and beams at all of you. “Hello, senpai! It’s great to see all of you!”

“You saw us earlier,” Nori points out, amusement tinging his voice.

Eijun pouts. “Well, I started missing everyone when we got split up!”

Kuramochi gets him into a headlock. “Stop being sappy!”

“Just like high school, huh?” Warm breath tickles your ear.

You squeak, jumping.

Kazuya laughs.

“Oi!” Sachiko complains. “Why does he scare you?”

A heavy arm slings over your shoulders. Kazuya smirks at her. “It’s just different between us. You wouldn’t understand.”

Kuramochi releases Eijun, who stumbles away, Haruichi steadying him with a small smile on his lips.

He looks at Shirasu and Nori, huffing. “See what I have to deal with?”

Kazuya laughs again — even when they (and most of the others) agree. 

The first pop of fireworks scares them. Everyone had lost track of time. But soon enough, you’re all turning your eyes skyward, chatter falling quiet as fireworks pop in the sky. Blue, green, red, an assortment of colors illuminating the streets and faces of those watching.

Kazuya moves behind you, tugging you into his chest, arms locking around your waist while he leans his chin on your head. The night is warm but you feel warmer, Kazuya a long line of heat against your back. Like always, being in such close proximity calms your senses. You relax. His arms tighten, a gentle squeeze, something like There you go.

This is what you’re trying to protect.

Exactly this.

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Hey! How about Wakasa for the character ask game?

Thank you for asking!! Didn't expect him at all, so that's v nice!

My first impression

Ah. Ikemen — niccce

Oh wait Black Dragon founders??? HELL YEAH; important AND interesting! Bring BD lore in!

My impression now

He carried sm and he deserves his vacation and to be drowning in beer doing nothing but fishing all days like he dreams to. Shinichiro's death and reveal about Time Leaping messed with his head a bit so that's why he's not as energetic as he was as a teen. When he makes a decision, he knows it and what it can trigger but he still does it cold-headed if he feels he has to. Wish we had more on him so I could dig more without feeling like I'm making things up. Ikemen.

Thanks you for revealing the fact Shinichiro was a time leaper, Wakasa

Favorite thing about that character

He knows how to keep secrets but he reveals them when he feels it's necessary. Keeping secret and being trusted is good and all, but the fact he's willing to share the truth after years of silence because he thinks Mikey deserves to be told? To know exactly what's happening to him and why? To know about what his brother's done? It may not change anything to Mikey's state (it likely didn't) – it's too late –but at least he'll know why.

He's the sole reason we got the Original Timeline flashback/arc. And for that reason only—

Least favorite thing

Like the rest of BD 1st gen: How little we saw of him!!! :(

There's too little information!!!

Also the fact his hair was half-cropped disturbed me at first (but I've learnt to love his zebra haircut)

Favorite line/scene

"Honestly speaking, I'm glad Manjiro died." (Chapter 270)

Where he was coming from was understandable – but that was still unexpected and the fact he said that to Shinichiro out of everyone.. Wakasa mourned Mikey already, and cannot bear to lose Shinichiro. He rather lose his friend's brother than his friend. And it's not like he takes the value of Mikey's life away (he suggests to celebrate his passing after all) but Wakasa is not one to have a confused and unsure mind. He doesn't like wasting time with overthinking. He has clear-cut answers to everything, and he's glad that Mikey died, and it's sincere – he's not a liar – and he was scared he'd completely lose his friend and he really, really thinks that now that Mikey's dead, Shinichiro is freed of every burden (he'd take a while to recover but he will, it's Shinichiro) and then it doesn't happen. He loses his friend anyway.

His introduction scene is one of my favorite too – first we can't see him coming, and then he's so tiny next to Kakucho???

Favorite interaction that character has with another

The hime moment avjfklalxkb big brother figure Waka W

The mutual trust he and Benkei have when fighting (and outside of that, I'm sure) is also top-tier

A character that I wish that character would interact with more

Sanzu and Takeomi. Takeomi, because Wakasa and Benkei are only ever seen interacting with Shinichiro and Takeomi's chapter is 3/4 about Shinichiro but there's this uncomfortable wall canon (unwillingly or not) but between Takeomi and Wakasa&Benkei that I Don't LikeTM (it's really interesting tho! Ofc their relationship is tense, but I just wish to see how it was before Takeomi got corrupted. Or even when he was, but before the end of BD.) They founded BD together!! They saw each other maybe daily for 5 years straight – their teenage years – wdym there's almost nothing about them!!(aside from Wakasa's 'A day in his life', Benkei's 'A day in his life' and Takeomi's 'feared/disliked person'???)

And then Sanzu.. Wakasa and Benkei are taking care of Senju – it'd be nice to know what they think of Haruchiyo. If they used to interact with him (and Senju, and the other kids) when he was younger; what their thought about Takeomi regarding the situation, ...

I know the Akashi siblings' nickname is the 'mysterious siblings' but still. I need answer goddammit.

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character

Hikishima from Wild Strawberry

They both like sweet, are strong, look younger than they are, and most importantly: they're both short—

A headcanon about that character

Okay, you gotta hear me out-

His relationship with Benkei was totally inspired by Yoshitsune no Minamoto and Benkei from Japanese History. Hence, Wakasa comes from a rather wealthy family. He's the youngest of a handful of siblings and was born out of wedlock (he's still loved dw). Most of his physical appearance comes from his mother.

(Also – yes he does like lollipops and has a sweet tooth but the stick he constantly has in his mouth is a dango stick. And I'll die on this hill.)

A song that reminds of that character

Oof, though one!

哀悼、そして日常は続く(:"Farewell and then the everydays continue") covered by 宮下遊(Miyashita Yuu) perhaps? It doesn't only remind me of Wakasa so I'm not completely satisfied but here. Let's grieve Shinichiro together.

(Edit: forgot to mention! The translated lyrics can be found in the comments!)

An unpopular opinion about that character

I think the fact I like Takeomi more is not the general consensus lol It's just that canon offers more elements to understand Takeomi's character depth yknow?

Favorite picture

The hidden 28th volume cover. Idk. His posture scratches my brain right.

[winniethewife]

Eclipsing Love

(Marc Spector x Mafia!OC)

Last chapter ~ Next chapter

Chapter 5: God of Vengeance

Words: 1997

They closed the bar for the rest of the week. Later that evening Charlotte had been sitting in her office space in her apartment. Looking through photos on her computer of Elizabeth and Isabella. She was fidgeting with the statue of Khonshu she had gotten out a few days prior. As Marc looked from the doorway on he was surprised to see Khonshu watching her mess with the statue. Marc watched Charlotte as she sat in her office and fiddled with her statue of Khonshu, completely focused on everything and nothing at the same time.  He stepped fully into the office, and was surprised to see Khonshu watching Charlotte from the corner of the room.

"What is it, Khonshu?" He asked, turning back to Charlotte for a moment as he waited for the God's response.

“She's on a path, you're not going to like that path.” Khonshu says simply. As he looks at Marc. “You cannot prevent it, but you can make it easier.” Khonshu stands and places a hand on Charlotte's shoulder which of course she doesn't react to having no idea he's even there.

"What... what path?" Marc asked slowly, starting to get angry at his vagueness. Khonshu was telling him something he didn't want to hear, and Charlotte wasn't even aware of what was happening.

"What path, Khonshu?! What are you talking about?!" He asked again, this time with more urgency.

 “You'll see soon enough...” Khonshu turns to him Marc Spector. “You are to take out the leaders of the Walker Crime family, in my name, deliver Justice.” He gives his order and then vanishes like he always does whenever Marc has more questions than answers.

"God damn it, Khonshu!" Marc muttered to himself as he watched the God vanish. His eyes then turned to Charlotte, who was still looking at the photos on her computer she didn't look like she'd heard anything and she still had no idea what was coming next for her. He walked over and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, Charlotte..." He whispered. "Charlotte... we need to talk."Charlotte turns to him and she takes a deep breath wiping tears from her eyes.

“Yeah, what is it my love?” For a second, he wasn't actually sure what to say. How do you tell someone that the God known for judging people told you that they have to assassinate her Dad? He took a deep breath, and then he started.

"Charlotte..." He said slowly. "Khonshu just... he told me that I have to kill your father." He waited a moment for a response. She blinks a couple times.

“Well, I mean I was going to so...make my life slightly easier. She says carefully. She looks at him. So wait are you supposed to go all Moon Knight on him or... I have questions...”she looks both confused and skeptical, Marc let out a quiet laugh, as he wasn't surprised by her reaction.

"Yes... I'm supposed to go 'all Moon Knight' on him." He said, putting some sarcasm in his voice just to make Charlotte feel like something in this situation was actually in her control.

 “So I've never seen you as Moon Knight...do you need to borrow any guns or anything? I still have a bunch of stuff...” She looks over to a painting on the wall. “It might be easier to show you...” Marc followed Charlotte's line of sight, wondering what was so important with the painting.

“Well, the suit, comes with weapons… but now I’m curious.” He looks at her, his head slightly tilted.

She stood up and walked over to the painting taking it off the wall there was a key pad. She put in a code and Marc heard a click before the wall in front of her revealed a secret doorway. She went through and motioned him to follow. Inside was a small room with several display cases of guns of various types and knives, swords and other more exotic weaponry. Marc's eyes widened as he saw the display of weapons, Marc followed Charlotte and stepped inside, looking at the various weapons for a few moments.

"This is... something else..." He said, turning to look at Charlotte. "How much of this is actually yours? This is... kind of a lot."

“Well, when a mob wife and a mob princess fall in love you suddenly have a large collection of weapons.” She chuckled slightly. “A lot of this was originally Elizabeth's stuff. But we decided to put our collections together when we got married.” She half smiles at a specific case and opens it carefully pulling out a Damascus blade with a white handle. “Elizabeth gave me this as a wedding gift actually...”

"It's beautiful..." He said, his voice soft as he looked at the blade. "I take it, your weapon of choice has always been a knife?" He asked.

“Knives, hand guns, and sniper rifles.” She says as she puts the blade back in the case. As she closes the case she looks over at him with her signature half smile on her face. “Elizabeth was the swords master. She learned from some of the best sword fighters and fencers in the world. She was on track to fence in the Olympics when she got pregnant with Isabella.”

"The Olympics Huh? That’s pretty amazing.” He said, looking around before settling on another case. "What's in here?" He asked, motioning to a specific case that caught his eye. The case was the only typical gun case in the room and had a finger print scanner. Charlotte approaches it and uses her thumb print to unlock it as she opened it there were three sniper rifles inside.

“These are mine.” She says quietly. “They were all specifically made for me by a master gunsmith. You can't find anything like them anywhere.”

"Damn..." He said, taking a few steps forward to get a better look at the guns. "These look... expensive." He said, reaching out to touch one of the rifles.

Something about their build... the way they looked, felt, and weighed... they just felt different compared to some of the other guns. "How much did these things cost you?" He asked quietly.

“Fifty lives.” She says quietly. Her voice full of guilt. “My father had them made as, presents, when I had completed my fiftieth hit.” She doesn't make eye contact with him. She knows what she's saying is outrageous to anyone who hasn't lived this kind of life. It's really fucked up. Marc couldn't even think of a response. Fifty lives, that was... insane for him to think about. She didn't hesitate with her answer though, as if she'd accepted it all a long time ago. He looked back to Charlotte and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"It is really messed up..." He whispered, his words full of sympathy for her, knowing she had no choice in this life. Her father controlled everything regarding her life as a Mob Princess. Charlotte nods and takes a deep breath.

“When are you going to take out my father? Before or after the funeral?” She asks in a thoughtful voice. Marc was not expecting that question.

"Uh... after, I guess." He said in a calm tone, feeling conflicted as he spoke. Charlotte was making everything so simple it was as if she'd accepted that he was going to kill her father, and hadn't even questioned it yet. He had to ask.

"Charlotte... are you okay with this?" He asked quietly. She looks at him and takes a step closer she wraps her arms around his neck and touches her forehead to his.

”Marc… I don't have any love for my father. I haven't for a long time.” Her jade eyes look into his. “I'm okay with this... I want this. And more importantly you have to do this. Khonshu won't give you a choice.” Marc put his hands gently on Charlotte's back and nodded, slowly taking in her words.

"Okay, Charlotte..." He whispered; that sounded so dark but yet, she was right— he wouldn't have a choice at the end of the day, and Charlotte didn't love her father enough to question Khonshu's wishes. He was just so surprised that Charlotte was okay with this all— killing her father, having to end another life— that he wasn't entirely sure how to react. The only thing he knew at this moment was that he had to stand strong for her.

~

A while later Charlotte and Marc were watching television. Charlotte's head rested on his lap as they rested after a day of crazy unknowns. As Marc runs his fingers through her hair she had almost seemed relaxed after a long horrible day when she suddenly sat up a slight look of fear in her eyes

“Oh gods, when you kill my dad, I inherit The Walker crime family...” she says this with fear in voice.

"Wait, what?" Marc sat up and put his hands on her shoulders as he looked down at her. “You're telling me, that after I kill your Dad, and the rest of the leadership you... become a mob boss?" He asked, making sure that this was all true. She nods.

“The Walker Crime family has always been passed down in the family. I'm my father's only child because my mom died from complications after my birth. He Never remarried he doesn't have another heir.”  She explains. “It's just me.” She stands up and starts to pace the floor.

"God, Charlotte." He said gently, standing up and moving behind her to hug her. He knew she was panicking, but there didn't seem like there was much he could do about anything.

"I-I uh... I don't know what to say..." He said softly. What a shitty situation Charlotte was in. She wanted out of the mob life, and now, she was apparently being forced back in... "What can we do?" He whispered.

“No wait...this is perfect...she looks at Marc. We wanted to take the organization out from the inside...we can much more easily take it out from the top.” She gave him that half smile he has come to adore. “This...this will be fun...” Marc couldn't help but smile back at Charlotte, as she came up with this idea on a whim. It was perfect, actually a little too perfect. Khonshu must've had this in mind this entire time, but if Charlotte felt like she was ready and willing to take on this role as mob boss, then he would be there to support her.

"You're right, this is perfect. We're gonna make a difference, you hear me?" He whispered, wrapping his arms around her.

Charlotte embraced him and kissed him softly. As she breaks the kiss she says something in Gealic. “Is breá liom tú...”she rests her head on his chest as she sighs gently. Marc smiled as he held Charlotte close, enjoying the embrace and kiss; it was nice to just relax with her, even in this crazy situation. He was surprised by the words he heard, and he had to admit, he had no idea what Charlotte had said. "What was that?" He asked gently, playing with her hair as he did so.

“Is breá liom tú...it means I love you.” She says as a blush spreads across her face. This was the first time they've said those words. It was a big deal. Only a week into their relationship. It was a big deal. Her eyes look into his and he runs his fingers through her copper locks. Marc turned bright red. He'd said it in his head many times before, but never out loud, never to Charlotte's face. His heart raced and he felt dizzy for a moment, but he didn't want to ruin this perfect moment for the two of them. He just smiled and laughed, leaning forwards and kissing her again.

"I love you too, Charlotte," He said softly, his arms wrapping around her as he held her in this embrace.

Masterlist

Tag:@ominoose

[abysscronica]

To add one to the Birdie questions I wanted to ask something. Since Birdie never had a mother or much of a mother figure in her life was she scared about screwing up as a mom? If there was no one there to teach her how to burp a baby or what to do when they won’t stop crying etc. did she just trial and error most of it or what? Unless one of the crew had kids before joining and was able to show her the ropes I just feel bad to think how helpless she must’ve felt wondering how she was going to be a mom when she had no basis to judge how a mom would act let alone the responsibility of keeping a little wriggling defenseless human alive as one of two young adults clueless as to how nurturing works.

Also you don’t have to answer this part if it’s too triggering but it’s been shown and even said to have happened in the past from killer that even if Kid loves a person he can still manage to hurt them. So, with how stressful a baby can be how did he manage not to lose his temper and god forbid hurt the kid? Or did birdie have enough caution to keep him from being alone with them? Because even things such as verbally abusing a child by yelling or speaking angrily to them can cause developmental issues, but I doubt he knows that.

Thank you for the ask! Please keep in mind that I know little to nothing about caring for children, so don't judge too harsh if I say something inaccurate.

As a premise, I've written before that I cannot reveal too much about birdie's first pregnancy because I have plot ideas but I need to wait and see how canon One Piece turns out - so I'll be a bit vague in my reply.

Birdie was absolutely terrified of accidentally killing the babies. She was also terrified of Kid accidentally killing the babies. They had no idea what to do, so they relied on whatever doctor or mother they could find. Birdie also read a lot of books on the subject. They forced the crew to get educated and help. Then they hoped for the best. 😭 Thankfully the twins were quite sturdy. Of course there were MANY scary moments for birdie, not to mentions days in which she felt overwhelmed, and instances in which she would have switched fighting Yonkos with being a mother in a heartbeat.

Transitioning to your next question, Kid was never violent with his children, not even when they drove him crazy (the only instance is described in "Emperors", and Law was already what, eight at the time?). He's a brute, but he knows it, so he always tried to be extra-careful when handling the newborns. Although I cannot say he never yelled at them, that wouldn't be believable, but nothing bad enough to compromise their development. If birdie witnessed something she didn't like, like Kid being brusque or threatening with the babies, she told him "It doesn't matter how much I love you, if you hurt my children in any way, you will never ever see us again.", in a very monotone, serious voice. That scared him more than a death threat, which was enough for him to behave.

It's not like Kid and birdie were perfect parents though. You probably know if you read the latest chapters of Emperors. Law obviously suffered because his father wasn't able to show his love enough, and birdie failed to shield him from her own self-damaging behavior. It's hard to be parents. They tried their best, but they still have work to do.

[uglypastels]

Not Wholly Evil |IX| pirate!Eddie au [SFW]

a/n we are getting so close to the endddd oh my god i am so excited and sad at the same time because i don't want this story to end as much as some of you, but I also cannot wait to share my next lil projects with you 🥰 thank you for all the support on the last chapter!

this is the "censored" version of Chapter 9. If you wish to read the explicit version (18+ ONLY. Minors DO NOT interact) please check out:

Chapter 9 (not safe for work version)

Series Masterlist

word count: 11.4k

"semi dark fic" - READ the warnings:. (gun/sword)violence. blood. mention of severe wounds. minor character death. allusions to suicide. kidnapping. imprisonment. alcohol. open and deep sea. near-death experiences in water. men are pigs: mentions of non-con, but it does not actually occur. [in-dream] non-consensual behaviour. malnourishment and weight loss. paranoia. mention of poisoning. abuse. manhandling. lying. small wounds inflicted by fire. jealous!eddie. binds and knifes.

Chapter 9: Paragon

“Perhaps the wolf wasn't quite so dangerous as he pretended. Unfortunately, there was only one way to find out for sure——give him a little rope and see if he hung himself… And pray that he didn't tie her up with it instead.”

― Sabrina Jeffries, Dance of Seduction

He looked like he saw a ghost. And maybe he had. You didn’t feel like yourself, so who was to say if you were still alive? You had comprehended how you carried yourself back to the Hellfire. Standing in his room felt like you were looking down at yourself. Aware of everything around you but understanding none of it.

‘I thought you had left.’ He stepped into the room, leaving the door wide open. As he walked, you noticed he was clearing the way for you, allowing you to leave if you wanted to. His eyes were intently focused on yours and threaded lightly. Like any wrong move would cause you to disappear.

‘I wanted to,’ you admitted. You still wanted to. Your thoughts had screamed through the night for an escape. Yet, something tied you down to this ship and made you return.

‘Then why didn’t you?’ He came closer, and so did you. That string pulled at your ribs again, pulling you two closer. You had tried long enough to fight it to no avail. Whatever you thought you wanted did not compare to your subconscious need to be next to him. 

‘I don’t know.’ Deep down, you knew the reason, but the time was not there yet to admit it. In your mind, you still despised everything about him, this ship, the crew, and, therefore, yourself for needing his touch as much as you did at this moment. It was weak to give in to him like you did.

The candle's light fell upon him at angles that brought something new out in him or maybe revealed what had always been there. The signs of the wear and tear of a life at sea. He wasn’t hiding it any more, letting all that pain be visible, and he looked beautiful. You held back from reaching out and tracing the thin scar against his brow or the flawed line of his nose that must have been broken once. The longer you looked at him, the more you realised that you could look at him in this way forever. 

And that scared you. 

Munson walked past you to his desk, occupying himself with whatever he could reach. It would have been good for you to have something to focus on instead of him, but you stood in the middle of the room with nothing but him to clutch onto. Neither of you spoke, stuck in an awkward limbo, tiptoeing around one another to see who would be the first to step over that line. The line that had kept you, your heart, safe until now. You could impossibly predict what was to happen if it was crossed.

The ship creaked as the tide softly bounced off it. For the rest, it was uncharacteristically quiet on board.

‘Is the rest coming as well? Will we be departing soon?’ It was ridiculous to change the topic in this manner, but you simply did not know what else to say, and this barrier between you and him was dreadful. You could sense it in the middle, waiting for that catalyst to burst. And you wanted it to. Just how?

‘No, I doubt they realised I’ve gone.’ He finally turned back to face you, leaning against the desk, arms crossed, eyes on the ground. If he could just look at you—would that make things easier or that much harder?

‘Why did you? Leave the tavern, I mean.’ With your heart pounding in your throat, tightening your breath, you stepped toward him. 

‘I noticed you were gone. Then I heard you had gone to the harbour with some man and I thought…. I grew worried.’

‘Why?’ You could not imagine him caring for you to go out, away from his crew and his festivities, to look for you. 

‘I know what you’re thinking, and at first, yes, I was thinking about the money,’ he admitted, which took you aback. You took a step closer. ‘But then I—when I realised, or thought, that I had actually lost you, I thought about how I would never see you again, and I realised—’ his words faded as you took your final step towards, letting your chest press against his. He finally let his eyes meet yours. 

‘Realised what?’ Considering your proximity and seclusion, you hadn’t meant to whisper, but it felt right. 

‘That I was scared’ His breath was shaky as his eyes took all of you in. ‘Of loosing you.’

‘I was scared too.’ And maybe that is what kept you from leaving. The idea that if you would go, there was a possibility that you would never see him again, and it was enough to hollow out your entire being with dread. It felt wrong. But that gnawing in your chest stayed there the whole night, even when you had returned to the Hellfire, and it only left once you felt his fingers intertwine with yours. A flutter of a touch at the fingertips.

‘Are you still?’ He matched your hushed tone with his response. ‘Scared, I mean?’ The question was simple on its surface, but only the facade for an obliterating iceberg was the truth. 

‘No.’ Standing in front of him, feeling his breath on you, the warmth that radiated off him, his gentle touch on your skin, seeing the smile hiding in his features, you saw nothing to be scared of anymore. There was nothing to fear anymore. The voice in you that had screamed for help all those days was silenced for a final time when you leaned in to kiss him.

His lips were chapped, cheeks rough with scars and the light shadowy scruff of a beard. His touch was featherlight, as if he was scared to pursue it as if you were to break underneath him. It starkly contrasted the force he had pulled you in with hours before. The intensity had been dizzying, and yet this was what genuinely shut your mind down entirely. But you could tell that he was not there yet wholly. Something kept him guarded. 

You pulled away, but your lips still shared the same breath. When you opened your eyes, you were met with his and how they were shaking with uncertainty as he took all of you in. 

‘Is there something you’re still afraid of?’ you asked.

‘Many things,’ his hand found its place on your waist, ‘but mostly of myself,’ and gently pushed you away. ‘And what I will do to you. I have made so many mistakes, mistakes that hurt you, already in that I will have to live it for my eternity, but I do not know what I will do if I make one again.’ 

There was silence as you took in his words. You understood them, possibly more than anyone could, for they were yours. As your lips met, you thought if what you were doing would lead to your doom, if it would all end in a disaster, but could something that felt so right be so devastating?

He had let his eyes fall to the ground. You reclaimed the one step he had made you take, closing the gap between you once more and letting your hand guide him to look up at you.

‘Do you think that kiss was a mistake?’ Your heart beat faster than it ever had as you waited for an answer, but his lips remained shut, so you continued. ‘If so, do not play with my heartstrings, but tell me, and I will leave. I will return to my cell, and you can lock me up and never see me again until you bring me back home.’ It would only be a couple of days, and it would hurt to mend this extremely fragile piece of you that you had just opened, but like all wounds do, it would heal eventually.

‘Answer me, captain.’ You kept your voice as steady as possible, regaining the confidence you had built up since you got onto the ship. ‘Was that a mistake?’

‘No.’ And with that one final word, you both leaned in for a kiss. Your hand was still on his cheek, his holding you tightly, but you still felt that urge to pull yourself closer to him. As you felt the press of his chest fully against yours, he actually pulled his lips away from yours. He hesitated but finally spoke against the corner of your mouth. ‘But… call me Eddie. Please.’ 

You couldn’t help but smile into your next kiss. Just like that, all that weight of the world fell off both your shoulders, down into the depths of the ocean, never to be seen again. You didn’t hold back with this newfound freedom when you pushed him up against the desk. The furniture shuffled with a creak over the floor, and you could hear some things topple over at the impact. Still, neither of you cared, too occupied with one another. He could just about manage to extend his hand and begin to push all the loose items off the desk to make space for himself. The papers flew around you, and all the measurement equipment clattered onto the crowd. 

As the kiss intensified, Eddie shrugged and smoothly sat up on the desk, pulling you in with him. As he slowly let himself fall back, you followed, attached by the lips, hands, and hearts, until you practically lay on top, arms keeping you up from falling entirely onto him. Well, one hand, as the other found him and laced your fingers together once more. He had tried to make more space around you, pushing objects aside, when he cursed loudly.

You startled away and saw the clench in his jaw as he took a deep breath. He must have read your panic-stricken face as he showed you his hand. ‘It’s alright,’ his voice was calm, humour peaking through it. ‘I might have just put my hand right into the flame.’ And indeed, the side of his hand was glowing red. 

Hearing this did not put your mind at rest as you tried to grab his hand and inspect the damage more deeply, but he just pulled it away from you, instead taking your fingers in his and kissing your knuckles. 

‘Don’t worry, my darling,’ he smiled while kissing your hand, ‘Can barely feel it.’

He had just made direct contact with fire; you doubted it would be alright, but then again, you had seen all the scars on his body. This would just be another small blister among the list of many. But you blinked the thought away. Tried your best not to think about the pain he had endured. You doubted he wanted you to feel pity for him and what had once happened to him. 

The look in his eyes was adamant. He needed you to let it go, so all you could do was sigh.

‘You’ve gone mad.’ 

Eddie chuckled at your comment as he let his lips travel over your wrist, over the length of your arm. ‘As mad as any other sane man.’ His kisses moved over the material of your shirt. The lack of contact that was so clearly there shot sparks of anticipation through you, but he took his time taking you all in until his lips reached your collar. He had practically strained his neck to reach you from his position. Some of you wanted to back away to see how far he would follow you, but your weaker portion gave into his touch and melted over it. 

He had just kissed your neck, sparking a fire through you on the spot, when a noise boomed over the silent ship, bursting you out of the solitary moment of bliss. In an instant, Eddie held you by the hips as he gently pushed you off him and got himself back on the ground. There was an alarm in his features, and so, when he looked at you and told you to “Stay here”, for once, you listened.

He closed the door behind him as he left to see what the noise was, and when minutes later, he had not returned, but there had also not been any more ruckus or signs of danger; you calmed down. Unsure of what to do now, you lay down on the bed. In the past few days, the bed had gotten more comfortable as you got used to it, but it still felt strange. You lay down on your side, facing the wall. The patterns in the wooden planks almost seemed to move in the shadowy light and, unfortunately for you, brought you into a trance of clarity and thoughts.

What were you doing? How could you have let all this happen? Kissing the man that had caused the death of so many people that you had deemed friends. How could you betray their souls by… by falling for him? You had lost control of all your feelings and emotions. 

It was a trick of the sea. You had simply been captured on this ship for so long that you did not know what was wrong or right. How else could you explain the yearning feeling that still circulated through you? Why else did you wish he was still here with you, touching you?

With all these thoughts occupying your mind, you must have missed Eddie walking back into the room, mumbling something about how it had been a few of his crew that stumbled back up to the ship. Too busy with your own mind, you did not hear him calling your name softly, assuming you had fallen asleep and telling you good night. You did not hear how deflated the last words came from his mouth. You only caught the sound of the door closing behind him. 

And soon, you managed to turn all these thoughts off and fall asleep. Except then, they came back even stronger and in the form of dreams. You found yourself back on the Red Tail. The hawk flapped its wings on the flag in the wind and every man’s uniform. The sun shone brightly in its last few minutes before hiding behind the horizon. It was a strange illusion as you stared down at the ship and the two figures that stood out looking at the sparkling sea. You watched yourself talking to Admiral Carver.

‘I would have imagined you to have grown tired of the water by now,’ he laughed.

‘I won’t say I will be happy to return home, but I can’t ever see myself becoming tired of this view. It is beautiful.’ You leaned forward onto the balustrade and breathed in the salty air. ‘Besides, you have done this for much longer than I have, and you’re here too, so it can’t be that bad.’ It seemed it was only your first expedition while he had crossed the world several times. If anyone was to grow tired of it, you thought it would be him. 

‘Perhaps you’re right,’ he had his arms behind his back, ‘but everything is more bearable when there is something back home to look forward to.’ 

‘I suppose so.’ You would not exactly know what he meant. Of course, you could not wait to see your father again, and your friends, but nothing at home gave you the sense that it genuinely anchored you there or drew your heart in for your return. ‘I am sure you miss your family very much.’

‘Yes, of course,’ He took a step closer to you, ‘but I will miss these moments.’

‘Oh,’ you were startled by his proximity, unsure how to respond. Politely, you smiled and tried to keep the conversation going, ‘I’ve enjoyed them too, uhmm-’, but you were suddenly thrown off-guard when you felt his hands on you. Before he had the chance to do anything, you were quick to push him off. ‘What are you doing?’

‘Taking our last chance before it’s too late.’ He leaned in again, and you stepped back. 

‘What about your–’

‘She does not need to know.’ The sea was a free playing field for most men, so what happened out there was not up to the women at home to know. You had seen adultery but never thought the admiral would participate in such activities. He had been drinking; maybe he wasn’t thinking straight. Before he would make any more mistakes, you attempted to walk away, but he caught you by the arm, putting all his strength into the hold.

‘Admiral, you’re hurting me.’ You tried to pull your arm back, and this is where things began to change. Where the dream made itself apparent. Carver’s handsome features turned into vicious angles as he spoke. 

‘So you’ll kiss Munson, but not me?’ 

‘What- what are you–’ you tried to get away, but it was as if he grew in size. And there were flashes. These flashes of light. Like lightning, there was no thunder, rain, or light. It blinded you, and you tried to regain your sight by blinking, but each time you did so, he seemed to change right in front of you. 

There was him like you knew him, but the next second he turned into this nightmarish version of himself, but there were moments when he wasn’t himself at all. You’d blink, and suddenly you saw Captain Munson. Still in that uniform, however, you would try to make sense of it all. Still, before you could, he would disappear again, and you would be looking into Carver’s blank eyes, and you’d see the blood dripping from his mouth as he spat out his words.

‘Don’t trust him.’

‘What?’ You had tears in your eyes, and your wrist burned from his touch. There was another flash of light. Eddie stood before you again, just as you knew him. 

‘Do not trust him.’

Don’t trust who? Who were you meant to trust, then? The questions rang through you as you woke up, head throbbing with pain, limbs sore and dehydrated. If you did not know any better, you would have blamed the rum you consumed the night before on everything, making you imagine all that had happened. Still, the sensation that Eddie had left on your whole body felt too real to be just a drunken dream or nightmare.

He was not in the cabin when you awoke, but you could hear him outside, yelling commands out. When you looked outside the window, you could tell by how the waves moved that you had departed the Saint Claire harbour and were on your way again.

You sat up in bed but remained still afterwards, uncertain what to do next. Some part of you wanted to go outside and see Eddie, talk to him about whatever it was that had happened that night. Still, a bigger side of you doubted you could ever look him in the eye again. Seeing your reflection from the glass doors of a cabinet in the room, of yourself in his bed, made you feel bad enough. So, staying in the room for the rest of the day was not an option either. You were already at the door, hand on the handle, when it opened, nearly crashing into you. 

‘Sorry,’ his apology was muffled. 

‘I was just on my way out,’ you muttered in the same awkward tone and walked past him. 

‘Wait,’ Eddie reached for you, and the memory of your dream of Carver made you retract away from him, regretting it as soon as you did. Eddie wasn’t him, but you treated him the same because of something your exhausted mind had decided to conjure up. Eddie kept his distance. ‘Can we talk?’

‘Later,’ you pleaded. This was not the right time. You could tell that it would not end well if you stayed there. 

But when would it be right? When would the stars align correctly for you to speak? It certainly wasn’t the next two days, as you kept walking in circles around eachother. You avoided him like the plague, and it was unlikely that he had not noticed yet. 

You kept yourself occupied with anyone else but him, really. Talking to Robin, Steve, and anyone else who seemed to require company as much as you. Almost as much, at least. It shocked you as well as them how smoothly the conversations went. While only a little was exchanged, neither side being too keen on sharing too much of their past, somehow, you still managed to fill hours with polite pleasantries. Some even showed you how to work around the ship, probably more than happy to give you some of their workload now. You didn’t mind. It was alright if it stopped you from overthinking everything that had happened in the past weeks. But it was still hard to do when you felt Eddie’s eyes on you. He’d watch you work the sails or anything else from afar, but when you’d try and catch him, he’d be suddenly occupied with something and walk away. 

The biggest surprise, however, came one evening when everyone had gathered for their final meal of the day. You had gotten your portion and were ready to return to the cabin when Robin pointed to the seat between her and Steve. You wanted to politely decline, feeling like you did not strictly belong in this dynamic—the crew’s meals felt more sacred, a moment for them to spend together, but they all saw your argument coming and shut it down. 

‘Never thought I’d say this,’ Wheeler, one of the lankier crewmates, said at some point, ‘but I might actually miss you.’ There was a cloud of agreeable laughter to which you belonged. It was funny, but what scared you was that you would miss them too when that eventual day of your return home would come. 

And it was coming.

Something about the air around you began to feel more familiar each day. And when you talked to Robin, you could sense that she knew how much time there was left. But each time you asked, she avoided answering straightforwardly. 

‘Not sure. But you know how seatravels are, you can never be sure… I mean, we should have been there days ago and yet,’ she laughed nervously, tying knots in a piece of old rope that someone had cut off once. 

‘I suppose you’re right.’ You had your own piece of rope and were toying with the frayed ends, pulling them apart mindlessly. You could hear Eddie talking to someone somewhere around, and you did your best not to look up. It had been days, but your tension still felt raw and strange. You wanted to simultaneously run into his arms and run away from him as far as possible, and you could not figure out which urge was the right one to follow.

‘It probably won’t take much longer, don’t worry.’ Robin said, her shoulder slumping as she untied another knot to remake it.

‘I’m not worried,’ you admitted. 

‘No, and you don’t need to be,’ Robin panicked, not wanting to give you the wrong impression of what she had intended to say, ‘but I’m sure you’ll be glad to be home.’ To this, you had no response because, very much like in your last days on your old ship, you had been eagerly awaiting your return home but did not feel like you were actually happy to go back. On top of that, you actually had the sense that you would miss this crew. By leaving, you would be leaving something behind, and you had never felt that before.

But it still did not feel right. Like a kink in your neck that you were trying to stretch out until it disappeared.

‘Can I ask you something?’ you said cautiously. 

Robin glanced up from her rope. ‘You always scare me when you say that.’ 

‘I hadn’t noticed I did it often.’ 

‘You’re quite inquisitive. It’s commendable, but dangerous.’

‘Should I be scared?’ You blinked. 

‘Not here, but in other parts of the world they’re not too keen on it, so just beware.’ She had tied a knot she couldn’t loosen anymore. ‘But what was your question?’ 

You took a deep breath. ‘Why did you target the Red Tail? And I know it was targeted, since the captain was aware what ship you were attacking.’ There was that other puzzle piece that was missing in your brain. How would he know if you were supposed to be on that ship or not? 

Robin froze and dropped her rope. You watched it fall to the ground and her reaching to pick it up clumsily. Once she did, she fumbled around even more with it. ‘I’m probably not the best person to ask this; I joined the crew late, I don’t know everything that’s going on around—’ she was getting distracted, losing the point of your question, or so you thought, ‘I had only heard things, but you have to know that people around here, we trust each other and that trust is earned. We might cheat once in a while in a game of cards or dice, but some things you just can’t lie about.

‘So, I didn’t need much convincing from the captain when he said that those— that those were bad men.’

‘He told you that my crew were bad men?’ 

‘They needed to be punished.’ Robin shrugged, but not in the way that made you think she thought indifferent. More so that, there was nothing she could do about it. It was a brief apology to you, not for what they had done, but as if she was sorry for being the bearer of the news. 

‘Punished for what?’ you asked, but Robin shook her head. Right, she wouldn’t be able to know, and you didn’t blame her. Was there anyone around willing to share more of the specifics of this situation? You felt like you had the right to explain what had brought you to their ship, but it would go past some lines of comfort for the men. Could you dare ask Eddie? 

But to ignore him for days just to come up with these questions could not be appreciated; then again, he owed you at least this after being the sole reason for your presence on this ship in the first place. He had caused all this mess. He could at least help you clean it up. 

You finished your conversation with Robin slowly, without any urgency to actually put it to an end. It must have been confusing to Robin, who saw how you tried to tie your sentences up to walk away, just to disentangle them just as she had been doing with her rope and keep pulling it back. Ultimately, she stopped it all and excused herself from the argument she needed back on her lookout post. She walked away, giving you this look that made it clear that she knew what you were planning to do and how apprehensive you were to do it. And whatever for? You had fought, punched, slapped and kissed Eddie in the past days without hesitation; why could you not just talk to him now?

Because that would actually mean something to you. It would unblur all the lines that connected you into a clear pattern, and you would have to live with those results, and you just were not ready for that yet. 

You took deep breaths as you walked up to the captain’s quarters. The door creaked as it slid open but was met with a resistant force as you collided with Eddie. He grunted lightly at the impact, and you began to apologise. 

‘Sorry,’ you mumbled, not expecting him to be so close suddenly. You had hoped to catch him at his desk, where the furniture could keep some kind of barrier between you. Still, now he stood mere inches away, towering over you and the heat of his body radiating onto yours. 

‘I was just on my way out.’ He scratched his beard casually, but his eyes said enough about how similarly he felt about your sudden appearance.

‘I hoped we could talk,’ you blurted out, and Eddie blinked.

‘Talk? Now?’ To this, you only nodded shyly. It had been too long. You had made him wait for days, which was simply too long. Why would he want to listen to what you had to say now? Eddie was ready to brush past you, but you were quicker, catching his arm and pulling eachother closer until your lips met in a chaste kiss. The suddenness stunned him, but for a blink of an eye before his muscles melted into position around you. It only confirmed your worst thoughts, how perfectly the two of you fit together, how your bodies simply locked into place with one another. The heat that grew between you could not only be felt by you. It was too strong for that. As much as you did not want to admit it, there was something there that you did not want to lose.

‘I’m sorry, ‘ you said breathlessly, ‘for everything I’ve done in the past few days.’

‘You have done nothing to apologise for.’ He sighed.

‘Exactly,’ you jumped back at how loud you sounded. Still, his pull on your waist kept you close, ‘I have done nothing, while I should have stayed here with you, and we should have talked of, of whatever it is that stands between us, but—but I was scared. I thought I hadn’t been, but I was, and that, in turn, scared me even more, so I thought I needed time to think—’ 

‘And did you?’ He looked down at you inquisitively like he was observing a strange, yet highly fascinating, phenomenon in front of him. Something that he should not be enjoying as much as he was. The unwanted smirk appeared on his lips no matter how hard he tried to hide it. It made you aware of just how much you had tried to say in what short of an amount of time.

‘Yes,’ you said with a slow breath to help you calm down. At this, Eddie simply reacted with a gesture telling you to go on, to tell him what kind of discovery you had made. Would it be anything that could help your conundrum? Clear things up in your heads and maybe even hearts? You could not be sure, but it was a start if you just let those parts of you speak freely.

You took one more deep breath. ‘That night you asked me if I was scared, and I said “no”, but…’ you pushed past the shake of your voice. ‘But I realise now that that wasn’t the truth.’ As you announced this, the hand on your waist tightened its grip before leaving your body entirely. The immediate lack of contact made you regret your choice of words. Maybe you should have prepared what to say, but letting it come out unrehearsed and unplanned felt like the right thing to do. It would not cut out any of the emotions you felt. What you wanted him to know that you thought, so you stammered out your following words.

‘There is so much that I am scared of.  It scares me how and how much I have changed in the past few days, and I am scared that I do not mind it. It scares me how much I enjoy being here and how much I want to be… with you.’ Your last words faded as you had not expected to hear yourself say them out loud. Eddie, who you had watched as he walked around the room in slow paces as he listened, must not have expected them, too, for he stopped to stare at you, dumbfounded.

‘Why?’ was the only thing he said in response. 

‘Because…’ you let out an exasperated sigh, walking up to him. You had somehow managed to find yourselves at his throne, ‘because this is not who I am supposed to be.  I shouldn’t be. You are you; I am me, and nothing here is right.’ Yet the puzzle had never fit tighter together than it did now. But at the same time… ‘As much as I want to spend my days with you, I cannot stop thinking about all the chaos you have caused in my life. Whether on purpose or not…There is blood on your hands, Eddie.’ there were tears in your eyes. Eddie looked down at his hands as if you had meant it literally. They were pale and had a shake to them, but he quickly put them down to his sides.

‘And yet you’re still here.’ He said it with a distance, more to himself than anyone else, narrating the events as if putting it all into words could make it make more sense somehow, and maybe to him, it did. However, you were still utterly clueless and running in the dark.

‘I am.’ You nodded your head lightly. ‘And I wish I could explain why. To you and to myself, but I simply do not know.’

‘Let me pose you these two questions then,’ he spoke sternly, and you got the unexpected feeling that this would be a test you had to ace. ‘Are you still scared of me? Do you regret anything that happened between us?

‘Answer yes to either of my questions,’ he held two fingers up, ‘and I will make all of this very easy for you and disappear. You will never have to see me again but be honest.’ Looking into his eyes the way you were, it was difficult to lie, or it would have been if you had any intention of doing so. The word came easier to you than anything else had in your life, but you still needed to know some things before sealing your fate.

‘Before I answer, I need to know your business with the admiral.’

Eddie scoffed, looking out the window, ‘I could not care less about the admiral.’ Something in him tensed up despite his attempt to make his reply come out casually. Everything besides his eyes, which flickered with so many emotions simultaneously, you could not distinguish between them soon enough.

‘But the attack on my ship was deliberate, was it not?’ You did not need this to become another one of your rows and spoke as carefully as you could manage. If one of you began to raise your voice or fill your words with anger, it would take over the other, exploding fatally in the middle, and that is not what you wanted.

‘What do you remember from that day?’ He looked at you, head cocked to the side as he studied your face. He saw you blink slowly, trying to understand what he was implying.

‘I remember everything.’ How could you not? It was one of the most terrifying days of your life. ‘I remember being on the deck and seeing your dark sails and how I hid under that desk as the canons went off–’ 

‘Whose canons?’ He stared at you blankly, and you mirrored him perfectly. 

‘What?’

‘What canons did you hear go off? Who shot first?’ He did not say anything else, just stood still as you tried to reply with confidence that you lost as soon as you gave your answer some thought.

Everything had happened so quickly, and it was so loud. All you had tried was to block it out. But you heard the bangs. They came from all sides, but the first one... the first one was the closest.

Eddie must have seen the recognition on your face. 'I know that those people were your friends. And I am sorry that that is how things-'

'But you said I was not meant to be on board. You knew what ship it was.' You cut him off at the memory. 'You would have attacked either way, wouldn't you?'

‘It is not that simple.’ He shook his head.

‘Isn’t it?’ 

‘No, and I wish I could explain, but I fear that whatever I tell you will only make you see the worst in me and them.' 

'You could at least try.' You reached for his hand, and a bit of you leapt in relief when you saw he did not pull away. 'I want to understand, Eddie. You do not know how horrible it is to live in this realm of uncertainty and oblivion.’

‘Would you rather live with the horrors of the truth?’ He asked genuinely, with the pain that exactly this truth had caused him in his eyes.

‘Is that not a choice I deserve to make by myself?’ You once again found yourself up against him. Funny how it always came back to this and how you would not have wanted it any other way.

‘You’ve said it yourself; I’ve hurt you enough times. I can not risk doing it again. I will not let myself do that.’ He brushed a strand of hair from your face, brushing his fingers over your cheek. ‘Now, will you please answer my questions?’

‘No,’ and with that, you answered both. Whatever tugged at you from the inside to feel such anxiety had nothing to do with Eddie.

On the contrary, you felt a sense of calm whenever you saw him. And you had wanted, really wanted, to regret those kisses, but you still dreamt of them at night, and it was all with a magical wonder that you wished to experience once more. Despite everything in your life that had led to this that would have told you to turn around and run away, you stayed firmly in your place in front of him with no intention of ever running away again.

Eddie leaned in, and you anticipated a kiss that never came as he spoke against the corner of your mouth, sending shivers down your spine. ‘I need you to say it, darling.’

‘I’m not scared of you, Eddie.’ The tremble in your voice had nothing to do with fear but all with the way he held you. His hand had moved down your cheek onto your neck, fingers wrapped around your throat, thumb caressing your jaw. His eyes pierced through you. ‘And I do not regret anything.’

You knew Eddie had seen all the far corners of the world. You must have come across the grandest of riches. Yet standing in front of him, you could not help but think how seeing Captain Eddie Munson beam his most genuine smile was the rarest and most beautiful treasure of them all. It was infectious; you could not help but smile at it. 

He let himself come close again, but just as your lips were about to touch, he spoke instead. Right against you, the hot air of his breath pricked at your skin with his light laugh. ‘Before all of this, had you ever imagined yourself here with me?’

As much as you had wished it was not true, ‘I did, actually.’ Your mind flashed to your dreams, the ones you had once thought were conjured up to plague you, but now you realised it was just your heart screaming out your deepest desires.

Like a reward, Eddie kissed your cheek for your reply. ‘Really? The princess had thought of me, a filthy pirate?’

‘I’m not a princess.’ You rolled your eyes playfully.

‘Out of all the things to dispute, you argue my words of affection?’ He chuckled, and you could feel the vibrations coming from deep within his chest. 

‘There was nothing else to correct.’ You wanted to laugh but instead gasped at the sensation of a little pinch on your side. While still occupied with leaving kisses on your face, Eddie pinched your thigh. You could feel the smile forming on his lips as he kissed your jaw. When he pulled away, you saw the mischievous glint in his eyes that once used to bring out fear of the worst in you.

‘Glad to know you haven’t changed too much, darling.’ There was a moment in which both of you took everything of the other in. You tried to soak in all his features from this small distance, for some reason feeling the need to remember them all. Meanwhile, he read your face for any signs of reluctance, which he found none of, giving him the sign to finally let your lips meet his again.

The kiss grew in strength by the fleeting second. It was messy and heated. The pent-up tension that had been sitting between you was finally finding its release. You held onto him tightly, one hand on his shoulder as the other rooted itself in his dark locks—which made you soon realise that the tiniest of motions of you caused a reaction in him as well, in the form of a low hiss as you pulled the hairs on the back of his neck. It had been an accident, as you tried to keep yourself up when the pleasure he brought you made you feel light as a feather.

With your urge to keep your bodies close, you quickly caught on Eddie walking backwards. You followed him mindlessly until he found his throne seat and pulled you along with him, right on top of his lap, making you lightly yelp from the suddenness of the drop.

‘Not scared of me yet, are you, princess?’ He smiled, brushing some hair out of your face.

‘No,’ your voice sounded like a hushed, airy whisper. You looked into his eyes. The warmth of them had burned up into a dark and hungry desire. Eddie smiled before kissing you again. 

‘Was this how you expected it to be,’ he murmured against your ear, ‘when you thought about us.’ 

‘No,’ you admitted. It was nothing like you had imagined. All your dreams had been of what you had thought he was; careless, dangerous, feeding off your fear. There had been none of this passion that you felt now. None of the heat, the tenderness or the feeling.

‘Anything you’d still like to change,’ he kissed the soft spot of skin behind your ear that made you shiver. 

‘No,’ you gasped as you repeated yourself. He had run your mind through a mill; words were hard to come by. All you could muster out was the one weak word and hum as you let your hand brush through his hair, but it didn’t make that one word any less true. Maybe on another day, you would have wished to change everything that had happened; before this moment, you would have changed every single interaction you had with the captain, but knowing it led to this moment, you would not want it any other way.

You let him take over all your senses, closing your eyes and breathing him—the rum, tobacco and sea air—in, the taste and touch of his lips and his rough hands. There was nothing, not anything or anyone, else to think about because why would you when this felt so good? Reality went lost on you until you felt his fingers dig into your side, a pain rushing through you. 

Both of you froze.

‘What’s wrong?’ Eddie immediately looked to where he had held you, pulling your shirt up to reveal the scar. The rough skin was a stark contrast to the rest of you. He met your eyes again. ‘Does it still hurt?’

‘It’s just sensitive.’ You wanted to push his hand away, cover the mark up again so neither of you had to be reminded of it. It had been a stupid mistake, that much you knew, and it was not as if you could change the past, so why let it pester you? But Eddie was not the kind to give up easily. He pushed the shirt material back up, keeping your hand away from him, to inspect the damage he had caused. 

‘I’ve done a lot in my life that I will forever regret,’ he kissed your shoulder as his thumb traced over the scarred line, ‘but this will probably haunt me the longest.’ His words and touch, combined with how you sat in his lap, got you lost for words. Because, of course, you had hoped that this was his sentiment; you understood and appreciated his words, but what else was there to say? The only thing you could think of replying, which felt silly to do, seeing your current position, was ask for some clarification.

‘What happened? I would have thought you had more control over your sword than that.’ You aired the conversation with a bit of laughter, but it only spurred him on.

 ‘I had thought so too,’ he kissed you sloppily, ‘I had hoped so,’ hungrily, ‘but I lost it all when I saw you with him.’

‘Who?’ you asked. Maybe under different circumstances, you could have thought more clearly to realise what he was speaking of, but that did not seem possible. 

‘Harrington,’ the name came out of him with a bitter taste. Apparently, the feelings from that day had not disappeared as far as he had thought, but now he could let these frustrations out in a less hazardous manner. It still took a toll on you, but there was no pain to speak of. Just pure pleasure. 

Still, the mention of the crew member had surprised you. ‘Why– why would you—’

‘The way he held you, smiled at you, don’t you think I had wanted to do that? From the moment I saw you—but all I did was drive you away. It was just another reminder of my failure and before I knew it I—’ he stopped himself, still unable to properly speak of what happened. You kissed the bridge of his nose. 

‘For what it’s worth,’ you tugged at the words to come out cohesively, ‘I never thought of him as—’

‘It does not even matter what you think of him,’ he laughed, more so at himself, ‘You could fall for and by happy with any man on this earth and I could make my peace with it. I just don’t want to be the reason for your suffering.’

‘I think—’ you smiled, considering everything that just happened, ‘I think you have managed to pay back any of your wrongdoings.’

‘Oh, darling, I haven’t even started to repay my debts to you.’ And so, Eddie kissed your neck, peppering you with the small kisses and nips, making you giggle and pull him closer into your arms. He kept going until the two of you simply fell into a comfortable silence. He held you tightly in his arms as you let your head fall on his shoulder. Only the sound of the rushing waves and your sweet breaths filled the room.

Once your heart settled back to a steady pace, you knew it wasn’t safe. As good as this moment felt, it wouldn’t last. Whatever this was, there was no possibility in which it would outlive this voyage. Then, once it was over, it would hurt. That much you knew. Possibly more than anything had hurt before, and you would just have to be on the lookout for that end until then to let yourself become at peace with it. There wasn’t another choice, as this idea always stayed with you in the back of your head from that moment on. When you fell asleep in Eddie’s arms that night, you thought how many more days you got to wake to in such bliss as you did the next morning.

You could not tell if Eddie had these troubles, you could not tell, for he went through his following days much like before. The only difference was that his free minutes were now occupied with you.

It had not been your intention to make it so obvious to the crew, but there was also so little you could hide from them. Nothing could escape the dozens of interested eyes, so why hide your affection towards their captain? He certainly was not making any attempts. Any chance he got, he found himself at your side, holding you, kissing you.

Your mornings and afternoons were much the same as they had been before the night of the storm and the Hellfire’s arrival at Saint Claire, as you still spent it in each other's company. The difference was now that instead of being separated by the large oak desk, Eddie would often pull you into his lap to sit in the throne, if not making himself comfortable with you on the bed. The nights began with kisses and limbs tangled with eachother and merged into a joined slumber. Unfortunately, as happy as your days felt, it would not stop the nightmares from coming, but each time you would awake in a cold sweat or with shaking hands, he would be right there to coax you back to peace. What surprised you, however, was that you would do the same to him. 

Somehow, the thought of the notorious captain waking up screaming in the middle of the night, chest heaving, eyes wide with fear, had never occurred to you. You had never imagined him reaching for your thigh to ground himself as his reality spiralled in the dark.

‘Shh,’ you held him tightly, ‘it’s okay.’ 

Neither of you asked about the dreams, knowing you could do nothing about them. You could just help the other through it. And then, each time, the dreams that followed were much sweeter. 

Then you’d wake up in each other’s arms long before the rest of the world seemed to. Those few blissful moments where nothing could disturb you and the time you could spend in that bed was endless. 

Except it very much was not. And you realised it exactly through what you thought would be your escape. 

It was a sunny morning. The golden sunrays illuminated the cabin as you reached for Eddie, just to find the side of the bed to be empty. Only his impression in the covers, the faint temperature his body had radiated onto them, was still there. It could not have been long since he had gotten up, and indeed, you caught him standing at the window—leaning against it, more like. His trousers were loose on his hips, and his shirt was still on the ground around you. 

 You walked over to him, and he looked in your direction as soon as he heard your footsteps. The smile in his eyes was genuine but weak. As soon as you were close enough, he pulled you into an embrace, twirling you around so your back would hit his chest and you could look out at the sea. With how the sunrays sparkled across the waves, it all felt like a dream, too good to be true, but you did not know yet that the dream was at the end of its tether.

‘I really am sorry,’ he mumbled, having his face already nuzzled in the crook of your neck, kissing the spot where it met your shoulder.

‘What for?’ Apologies had become a frequent appearance in his vocabulary, showing up in almost every conversation, if not sentence.

‘You know.’ Yes, you did know. For everything. He held a moment of silence, enjoying your presence in his arms for a little longer, before speaking again. ‘I just keep thinking about how everything between us happened, and if it had not been for me, we could have had more.’

‘I’m just as guilty.’ You had been stubborn, aggressive, and just as blind to your feelings. 

‘A highly doubtful statement.’ He laughed, and his breath tickled the hairs on your neck.

‘I don’t think so.’ You shrugged in his hold.

‘Still just as stubborn, aren’t you, princess.’ He squeezed you tighter. 

‘Is that not one of my most desirable attributes?’ You spun yourself around in his hold and quickly wrapped your arms around him. Doing so, hearing his tone and joy in his voice, you had expected to see him smiling, but he looked just as sombre as when you had walked up to him. ‘What’s wrong?’ Your hand mindlessly began to trace over the scars on his chest, knowing it brought comfort to both you and him by now.

Eddie shook his head, holding back a laugh. ‘You know…’ he kissed your forehead,  ‘when I woke up, I saw you lying there, with the sun shining on your face, and you looked so peaceful, I had honesty considered just locking you away and keeping you forever, but I am a man of my word, am I not?’

‘I…don’t understand.’ You tried to see the meaning behind his words in his eyes, but there was nothing, and it only got harder to figure out when he held his forehead against yours, keeping you close. You still tried to make sense of what he said when you saw it. There, in the far back corner of your eye. So far, it could have been a play of light, yet it was more real than anything. So undeniably real it crushed everything around you without question. 

From the angle the ship stood at, that was as much as you could envision through the windows, and thus you ran out of the room. As much as you did not want to leave Eddie behind, knowing it could be one of the last moments the two of you had, you ran out onto the deck to meet the silhouette of mountains against the rising sun. The longer you looked at it, the clearer the details became. The ridges of the mountains, the forests, the watch towers and houses. The uniformed ships that stood in the harbour.  

You knew this day was coming, you had been waiting for it, and yet, now that it was right in front of you, you wished to be as far from it as possible.

In what must have been shock, you took a couple of steps back just to collide with something—someone. You turned around to see Eddie and his soft but sad smile.

‘Welcome home,’ he announced.

Home, sweet home.

Your head turned between him and the land in the too-near distance, waiting for one of them to disappear, maybe even both. Why was this so difficult for your mind to comprehend? Why were the first words to come from your mouth, ‘Can we turn back?’ 

‘As much as I would want to,’ he sighed, ‘I’m sure they’ve noticed us by now.’ They must have. The watchers in those towers had the eyes of hawks, one of the reasons why your town was named after the bird.

‘So, what do we do?’ This is not how someone who is to be returning to their family after months spent with criminals was meant to respond. Everything about this was so wrong.

‘Go put your dress on.’ Eddie cocked his head back to the cabin. ‘I doubt they will appreciate you wearing this, as much as I adore it on you.’ That is when you realised you stood out on the main deck wearing only his shirt. ‘I’ll meet you in a few minutes.’ And with that, he gave you that look he had given you all those times before when you had been too headstrong in your own actions. Please, listen to me. It will be alright.

You walked back, feeling like you were floating, but not anywhere near the same way that you had the previous few days. It did not feel like you were weightless, on a cloud, free of worry or from the world. You were drifting. Far out into the abyss with nothing to hold on to. In this same state, you walked over to the wardrobe, where you had hung your dress, removed the item of clothing you had on and put on the old and tethered garment. It had once fit you like a glove, but you were far from the person it was measured for.

Just as you finished putting it on, the door opened, and Eddie walked in.

You didn’t want to look at him. Not because of anger, you had, after all, no reason to be angry at him at that moment, but because you were sure that if you looked into those brown irises again, you would break down. He must have had the same idea as you as he walked past you, only grabbing the nearest shirt off the rack, and making a headway to the desk.

‘What are you going to do now?’ After all, that had been what pulled you two together, the money your father would offer for your return. That is what kept you on this ship safe for as long as it did… although, in retrospect, you doubted that Eddie would have ever done anything to you. Maybe he had always intended to bring you home before even speaking to you. Perhaps the money made no difference. But funnily enough, you wanted him to get it. Something in you, a deep instinct, told you that it was what he deserved.

‘Write a random note,’ he said, and you could see he was doing his best not to laugh. ‘Then we’ll send the note out, hope it reaches your dearest, and we’ll make the exchange.’ His words were quick and emotionless, but you noted the hint of novice apprehension in his plan.

‘You’ve never done this before, have you?’ you asked as you made your way up to the chair across from him.

‘Try not to sound too disappointed over my lack of experience in selling beautiful maidens back to their prosperous fathers.’

‘Not at all,’ you shook your head, grabbing the piece of parchment and quill from him. ‘But let me. It will be proof of life, and besides, your handwriting is unrecognisable. He won’t be able to read any of it.’ 

Eddie stared at you blankly as you began writing. 

Dear father, 

But what were you to write? The ink dripped off the quill as you pondered on the words. For a message that was quite clear, it was hard to actually phrase it and write it out. By the time you had signed your name at the bottom of the page, the Hellfire had almost reached the coast. You read it through once more: 

Dear Father, 

I know it has been a long time since you last heard from me. The Red Tail is no more; I was the only survivor, to my knowledge, saved by a crew of rogue sailors. They have kept me locked away but are willing to free me for the price of  10.000 pounds. Please meet me at noon at the Star Port for the exchange.

Love, 

Your daughter, 

—

You had decided against the mention of piracy or anything specific about the ship’s sinking, knowing that it would only drive your father away from pain the ransom. Eddie had been unable to keep still while you wrote your drafts but now stood behind you, hands on the backrest of your chair, reading the note along with you, over your shoulder.

‘Who would have thought, my darling extorting her own father.’

‘I am doing no such thing!’ You looked up at him, ‘I am simply… aiding you in extorting my father.’ when it came to this, you had little sympathy for your father. He had plenty of money to spare and often spent it on ridiculous causes. A faux rescue of his only daughter could surely fit in between those other purchases.

There was a knock on the door, which Eddie welcomed, and Harrington walked in. 

‘Got any mail for me to deliver, cap?’ it had been unanimously agreed that Harrington was the most inconspicuous of the whole crew and would be able to walk through the city unbothered to deliver the message. 

You had just been in the middle of folding the parchment. The last thing left was to let the wax melt to keep the corners together. With the seal done, you handed Steve the letter. He smiled at you with thanks, but his face hid an expression of loss, almost. A farewell. But before he left, you clutched him in an embrace, almost knocking Steve over.

When the door closed behind him, it was only a matter of waiting. After your fifth round of pacing through the room, Eddie walked up in front of you, blocking your already quite well-outlined route. He had met you right in the middle. 

‘I would prefer if you did not spend our last moments together walking holes into my carpet.’ 

‘You do not have a carpet,’ you quipped. 

‘Must you be so difficult now?’ He laughed that laugh you cherished so much before he placed his hands on your cheeks and kissed you the way you adored even more. The sun was almost at its peak, and so was your heart, and you had no idea what to do when it would finally fall. Either way, you would find out in a few minutes.

‘Do you think—’ 

‘Highly doubtful,’ Eddie said somberly before you could even finish your thought. ‘You had said it yourself, darling; you are you, I am me. This is not meant to work.’ But what if it could, you wanted to shout, shocking yourself for the millionth time on board this ship.

‘Well, then it had been an honour being your captive, captain.’ You said with a deep breath to keep your composure up.

‘Well, then it had been an honour being your captive, captain.’ You said with a deep breath to keep your composure up.

‘Oh, don’t look so sad just yet, princess, the real fun is only about to begin.’ At this statement, you blinked slowly. ‘Or did you think you were done aiding me?’

‘What else do you need me to do?’ 

‘Since you mentioned it, I think we need to make you look the part of my sweet captive. Make your father believe we really had kept you all good and locked up, hmm?’ He grinned. ‘I really did not do a good job at this, did I? Got you all spoiled up here.’

‘It was much appreciated.’ You giggled, incapable of keeping a straight face when Eddie got like this. Looking back, you could barely imagine the cold and dark exterior that he had once posed in front of you since he had been an entirely different person underneath that. Then again, so were you. ‘So, what did you have in mind?’

‘A lot,’ he licked his lips, ‘but I don’t think we have the time for that. We’ll probably have to do with tying you up like a pretty gift—just your hands, of course,’ he quickly added as he saw your eyes widen. ‘And I’ll be sure to not make it too tight.

‘Alright,’ you nodded. After all, you trusted him. You watched him look through the room for something to wrap around your hands. In the end, he found a piece of rope hanging among the many items on his wall. It was a bit too long for even the intricate, but relatively weak, knot he tied over your wrists—enough to give the impression of captivity, but in reality, barely grazed your wrists. He made sure to check. 

And then it was time. You walked out of the cabin for the final time. The room in which you had spent so many tumultuous days and nights. A silly part of you wanted to actually run down the ladder into the lower deck to see the holding cell one last time. For what reason, you could not fathom. 

Eddie guided you with a hand on your back, down the gangplank, which wobbled with every step you took. You tried to keep your breathing under control, but then again, if this had been a real threat to your life, you would probably feel similarly. The walk down the harbour was the longest of your life. There just came no end to it, and you could not, frustratingly enough, make your mind up if you wanted that or not. After all, each step closer to the port was one step further away from him… and when had you become so dependent on him? Weeks ago, you had thought up visions of killing him in his sleep; now, you could not think of life without him. 

Your thoughts were still fighting for some kind of cohesion when you saw him walk down the street. Accompanied by his usual entourage of guards. Two of them carried a large trunk between them, which must have been filled with gold or other treasures to meet the demand.

‘Papa!’ You screamed out; an incautious urge to run towards him propelled you forward, just to be pulled back by Eddie. You glanced his way, and your breath hitched at what you saw. In the short amount of time that might have felt like an eternity that it took you to walk down the harbour, he had turned into what you could only describe as his old self. The same version of him that you had seen when you were “welcomed’ aboard the Hellfire. The Eddie that terrorised your nightmares. His eyes were pointed like daggers at your father. 

He, in turn, stood aback at the sight of who had been holding you. Most of the men around him did, in fact. It caused a bit of a stir, the murmur of his name travelled in disbelief, but Eddie was the first to speak up in full volume.

‘Governor. I see we meet again.’

‘Munson.’ Your father always had the skill to look unimpressed at the sight of any man, always seeming to be above them, and even now, he did a good job hiding any other emotion, but you could see the crack of fear breaking him on the edges. It was, however, quickly replaced as he spoke in his usual tone of business.

‘Munson. What are you doing here?’

‘Why, returning your precious jewel, of course.’ He grinned, pulling you closer to him. Some of the guards leapt forward but were stopped by your father and Eddie, who reached for the knife at his side. All eyes were on you and him as he let the blade slowly track over your arm. ‘Don’t wanna do that, gents. It will only cost us more trouble.’ 

‘You got the gold, Munson, now let her go!’ There were still several feet between the two sides of the deal. Eddie looked around theatrically. 

‘Do I?’ He cocked his head in his own direction. The two men in charge of the trunk hauled it over to you. You had no idea how Eddie was meant to carry it back to the ship. As they brought the gold over, your father spoke again. 

‘Is she well? Unharmed?’ 

You nodded, but Eddie nudged you with the hilt of his knife, his lips against your ear, ‘C’mon, darling, the man’s asked you a question.’

‘I am fine, father.’ You spoke. By that point, the men reached you and, with a final kiss to your temple, Eddie let you go. You were immediately pulled out of his reach by the guards. They must have thought they were holding you up as your legs objected to moving. You were unable to look away from him. All up until you felt your face pressed against your father’s jacket. 

‘There, there, it is alright,’ he hushed, and it took you a moment to realise why. You were crying. And if only he, or anyone else, understood that it was for all the opposite reasons. No fear or relief was escaping you through those tears. It was a loss as you saw Eddie standing there, bowing down at the end of his performance, blowing you a kiss goodbye.

It was the panic when you saw the rest of the people in the harbour. All of their eyes on you. On him. None of them were simple bystanders or civilians. 

Your dream had been crumbling into ruin all these days, but this was the final blow. All of it came down, all at once, and it started with your father’s call.

‘Guards!’, and suddenly the tenfold of guards appeared out of all possible directions. They had him surrounded, weapons at the ready. Eddie had nowhere to run. Your father spoke clearly, cutting the silence with the blade of his words. ‘Munson, I arrest you on charges of murder and high treason!’ 

Chapter 10

thank you so much for reading!! if you want more of where this came from, check out my masterlist.

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you are also more than welcome to join the Eddie Munson taglist. right here.

taglist on the nsfw version

[kithtaehyung]

Ok 3tan8….whooo I just read it for a second time and I am so whipped for those two, my heart is actually racing.

But firstly, I want to say that I am *convinced* that bro is Joon, from these snippets:

“Like an ink stamp of his persona” - k this one might be reaching, but persona, a hint to the song? 🤣

“You watch as he adjusts the watch on his wrist, admiring its craftsmanship with a determined stare” - we know Joonie baby appreciates a luxury watch 👀 also I can picture his signature “angry” face during this whole convo, jaw clenched, pissed af

“There he goes again, shouldering everything himself. No matter how much he’s done or how hard he’s worked, he never holds his efforts over your head” - for me, this is the most Namjoon trait imaginable 🫶🏼

So in every chapter so far, there has always been one line where I literally have to stop reading and say “oh fuuuuuuck”. Last time it was “one day babe” 🤭

In chapter 8:

“Careful, doll. Neighbors can’t know my name just yet.”

Not yet, but soon baby🥵🥵🥵 Ryen, the way you write these characters is so insane. They just feel so real and I CANNOT WAIT for the fuckfest of a reunion Yoongi and OC are going to have when she goes over to his house in the next chapter. And I can’t wait for the bro reveal 🤣🤣🤣Thank you for carrying on this amazing story. I am just whipped beyond comprehension at this point lmao

🐨

KOALA!! you already read this a second time? that's amazing what. i'm glad it's a rereadable part wow

but OMG sdhjdhfh you're pulling out all your evidence, huh? the persona thing is definitely interesting, and the watch/expression thing. oh my.. and oh gOSH the namjoon trait help me??

"ONE DAY." don't get me started on that again i'm still recovering lmfao. but yeahhhhh that line was also enough to get me to pause writing lolll

thank you for the amazing words! i'm glad everyone in this story feels real.. that's honestly one of the things i really strive for when writing. i'll be saying these dialogues out loud to myself to make sure they sound natural, and change them or take out words if they don't!

LMAOOO???? when they see each other.... i'm quivering lmfao. i'm glad to be working on it and i'm happy you're following along! it's been a joy and comfort of my life, tbh.

[laurelins-light]

Book Roundup for June 2022  - Summer + Pride Themed Books from this month

June to me is both LGBTQ+ recognition month and when the first hints of Summer come out and everything feels like it is growing! In honor of pride month and the (official) start of summer, I read books this month that really reminded me of pride (LGBTQ+ subjects, characters) or Summer (plants, travel, general science/summer vibes). Some of my favorites I read this month I have summarized below

Queer Body Power: Finding Your Body Positivity by Essie Dennis

This book was a really interesting book to read. I loved how the author used their own experiences and directly cited research and the experiences of other queer people to talk about many of the same issues queer people face around their bodies and emphasize how and why to heal your relationship with your body. I really incredibly loved this book, and honestly, even if you aren’t queer you would still benefit from reading this book and learning about why it is essential and necessary to love your own body — cis/het people can still have dysmorphia and other body image issues and can benefit from this book.

_____

How to Invent Everything: A Survival Guide for the Stranded Time Traveler by Ryan North

This was highly funny, super informative, and well written book. I enjoyed reading this and learning about the connections between technological systems as well as domesticating animals and plants for food and productivity. A great book, a bit dense sometimes (to be expected), which is why it took me so long to get through, but I’m glad I did! This book will go on my reference shelf for sure.

_____

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

This was a book club pick this month but I am so glad we read it! It is definitely well worth reading and checking out for anyone — even if you aren’t ace-identifying.

_____

In Defense of Witches: The Legacy of the Witch Hunts and Why Women Are Still on Trial by Mona Chollet with Sophie R. Lewis (Translator)

This was a really fantastic read. The layout of the book and the writing were phenomenal, and the author’s tie-in to historical and modern events was really well done. I loved that this book was written primarily from a European (the author is French) viewpoint, but it touches a lot on the American feminist movement and its impact on Europe/France. This book was an incredibly well thought out and well-researched book and I really think everyone should read it to understand better how women have been consistently villanized by not only other men but also by other women as well.

_____

Gathering Moss: A Natural and Cultural History of Mosses by Robin Wall Kimmerer

This book was a love letter to Moss and all this tiny plant does for the ecosystem worldwide. Filled with personal anecdotes, cultural, and scientific history, this book was a joy to read. I had tears in my eyes reading some of the essays/chapters in this book and joy in my heart at others. I cannot wait to reading RWK’s other book and experience her writing again.

_____

Little Thieves by Margaret Owen

This was such a cool book and I loved reading it! I thoroughly enjoyed this and devoured it in about 2.5 hours. The characters were brilliant, the concept was so cool, and the plot was incredibly well thought out and written. I am looking forward to seeing what comes next from this author/series.

_____

A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall

This book made me cry in the best way. It was so sweet, so charming, and so so brilliantly written. Alexis Hall does it again with this book and I cannot wait to see what happens next with this series and author.

_____

Entangled Life: How Fungi Make Our Worlds, Change Our Minds & Shape Our Futures by Merlin Sheldrake

I learned so much from this book! It was a fantastic complement to Gathering Moss, but stood on its own in a way that I really enjoyed. I took so many notes from this book, and it has really inspired me to explore Fungi deeper on my own.

_____

Bonus book! That Time I Got Drunk And Saved A Demon by Kimberly Lemming, a sweet romance book that stole my heart!

Full post can be found on my medium page here: https://medium.com/p/2870bf76745b

[translations-dark-matter]

Living as an Extra in an Omegaverse novel

Chapter 21

In my journey through life, I have come to realize two things.

First, no matter how hard I try, I cannot escape from my nature as a secretary. And second, Shin Tae-oh will never have feelings for Jin Hye-in.

So, even if I sever the connection between Jin Hye-in and myself, I doubt Shin Tae-oh will say anything.

Se-hyeon looked at Shin Tae-oh, who had turned away from him, and thought about how to make Jin Hye-in feel frustrated.

"Darling, take my hand."

Or perhaps running towards them and saying, "Stop right there. I'll come and give you a passionate kiss."

"Not bad, but it's not the best approach."

There were many pitfalls in blindly shouting out such things.

First and foremost, Se-hyeon was a secretary. He had to consider the implications of making a surprise announcement in this position and creating an issue.

It might seem like going off-topic to argue about the position of a mere secretary, but as a secretary, he had to be more careful. The matters I caused will ultimately be handed over to the boss who relies on me.

Next was his personal preference that came into play. If someone were to ask what preference it was all of a sudden...

"It wouldn't be interesting if I revealed it all at once."

Se-hyeon looked at Jin Hye-in, who was behind Shin Tae-oh, and slowly opened his mouth.

"CEO Shin Tae-oh..."

He deliberately stumbled over Shin Tae-oh's name.

"Your... prospective husband is looking for you."

"What?"

Jin Hye-in's reaction was quicker. She seemed to ignore Se-hyeon's confident announcement, as if she hadn't seen it.

Seeing one of Shin Tae-oh's eyebrows raise slightly, Se-hyeon calmly continued with his lie.

"Shall I tell him to wait?"

As the secretary, he had set the stage, and now it was up to the boss to make the choice. Shin Tae-oh looked at Se-hyeon's nonchalant face as if asking what he was up to, then nodded.

"Let's go now."

"Understood."

Se-hyeon swiftly walked out of the room to fulfill his instructions. In the midst of passing by, he overheard Jin Hye-in muttering to herself.

"Prospective husband?"

In response to her questioning gaze, Se-hyeon replied, "I can't provide you with detailed information."

"Isn't it you?"

If I had threatened to sever ties with her, she would be curious about who the unexpected prospective husband dropped from the sky would be. Think about it from a different perspective.

Under Jin Hye-in's piercing gaze, Se-hyeon stood up straighter, his posture even more rigid.

"If she hadn't mentioned cutting me off, I wouldn't have stepped forward."

Confronting Shin Tae-oh is not my concern. But I shouldn't let her shake my well-being.

Caught up in the joy of returning the favour to Jin Hye-in, Se-hyeon didn't notice his surroundings. Suddenly, his wrist was grabbed, and his body was pulled to the side. He stumbled in an unexpected direction, but thanks to Shin Tae-oh's firm grip, he didn't fall.

"Come here."

Se-hyeon was pulled along by Shin Tae-oh's decisive strides without hesitation. It wasn't until the sound of footsteps changed abruptly and the intense movements subsided that Se-hyeon realized where he had been taken.

Gasping for breath, he looked beyond Shin Tae-oh's shoulder and saw a sign with a vivid depiction that seemed to leap out—a green figure racing away. It was an emergency staircase.

"Now that I think about it, it seems like the type for the secretary to be at a loss when startled, huh?"

As Shin Tae-oh's nonsensical words echoed, I felt the urge to escape.

"Did you say something?"

"Well, there are terms like fiancé or lover. But calling someone a prospective husband... doesn't it feel a bit strange?"

"Ah..."

Now I understand why Shin Tae-oh is acting this way. I had deliberately called him a prospective husband.

Se-hyeon purposely stumbled over the words, annoyed by Jin Hye-in confidently mentioning Shin Tae-oh as her husband despite having no relationship with him. Now he wanted to explain to Shin Tae-oh why he did that, but...

"Where is this prospective husband? Is he here? Are you, standing in front of me, that prospective... hus...band?"

"..."

He didn't want to say it anymore.

If he spoke, he felt like Jin Hye-in would seize upon it and ask, "Did she say that?" instead of understanding his intentions. In such a situation, there was only one reaction for him to take.

"I apologize for lying."

Se-hyeon bowed his head. If he turned back, he could face the wrath of the Chairman of Jinmyeong Group.

"Apologies, even though it wasn't a lie."

Why isn't it a lie? Se-hyeon thought about it and quickly understood. If Shin Tae-oh was thinking of Yoo Jin-ha, he could see why he would consider it that way.

"Well done."

Shin Tae-oh patted Se-hyeon's shoulder and spoke.

"Uh... Thank you."

Finding it strange, Se-hyeon nodded his head in greeting and casually looked to the side. He couldn't see Shin Tae-oh's face directly. Even though it wasn't a particularly great compliment, his heart fluttered once. The cause of this emotion was undoubtedly one thing.

'Why am I so moved by this...'

After I unilaterally caused trouble and put Shin Tae-oh in an awkward position, he unexpectedly praised me for doing well. It came back as a source of emotion.

"Now, shouldn't we go back?"

Se-hyeon, wanting to attribute his choked feeling to the necktie, adjusted it while speaking. Shin Tae-oh shook his head.

"Anyway, let's move on from today and focus on finding a real prospective husband next time. Let's go and wrap things up."

"Understood."

Se-hyeon gladly accepted the excuse to leave and opened the door wide.

"Let's say what I just felt was the secretary's desire for recognition from the boss."

Strictly speaking, it was a desire for recognition. Se-hyeon rationalized it that way and quickly walked away, no longer wanting to dwell on that thought.

Shin Tae-oh simply watched as Se-hyeon left without stopping him. As he looked at the spot where Se-hyeon had disappeared, Shin Tae-oh gently stroked his chin.

"I can't tell from his expression…"

Se-hyeon had always been someone whose thoughts and emotions were difficult to discern. Whether it was when he was hit or when his expression crumbled, revealing his emotions, Se-hyeon, who worked as a secretary, was someone whose expressions were unreadable.

"Looks like the reaction is coming from somewhere else?"

When Shin Tae-oh turned his head to avoid making eye contact, he noticed that Se-hyeon's ears had turned red.

"The secretary gets embarrassed easily."

It was the moment when he discovered an unexpected side of Se-hyeon, who was usually composed in the presence of the unapproachable man.

"An embarrassed cat. A shy cat with flushed ears..."

As he tried to come up with various descriptions, he couldn't find the right words to fit.

After thinking for a moment, Shin Tae-oh mentioned the one that appealed to him the most.

"A cat with flushed ears?"

As Shin Tae-oh mentioned the flushed ears, Se-hyeon's ears turned even redder...

Shin Tae-oh raised an eyebrow.

"Is something wrong?"

***

While Se-hyeon was tidying up his desk, the secretary of the chairman came to find him.

"The chairman is looking for you."

Shin Tae-oh, who had secretly intended to leave with Se-hyeon, hesitated for a moment before realizing that he had no choice.

"Where is he?"

"He asked you to come down to the basement. He's waiting in the car."

"Understood. I'll go there myself, so please take care of my secretary."

Shin Tae-oh, raising his hand to signal that the secretary didn't need to follow him, turned around. The secretary, seeing him heading towards the elevator, went inside the banquet hall to find Se-hyeon.

As Shin Tae-oh descended to the basement, he opened the door of the visible sedan. But the moment he realized that no one was inside, someone swung their hand towards him.

"Ow!"

Chairman Jeong Mi-jeong's hand landed precisely on an area of his back that was already sensitive, causing Shin Tae-oh to let out a dramatic scream.

"Well done. Very well."

"Do you know that it's bad to hit someone where it hurts?"

"After what you did, you're good at choosing where to hit. I've been looking for a partner for a long time, and you brought me a lying scoundrel!"

Jeong Mi-jeong, apparently still filled with anger from the previous incident, gave Shin Tae-oh a few more pushes on his back before belatedly realizing the attention from the people around them and forcefully pushing him into the car.

Despite his large build, Shin Tae-oh skillfully manoeuvred his body and squeezed into the car, grimacing in pain from his heated back. He expressed his own sense of injustice.

"I didn't lie."

"Who is he? Who is this prospective husband?"

"You saw it, didn't you?"

"What?"

Under Jeong Mi-jeong's inquiring gaze about whom he was referring to, Shin Tae-oh sealed his lips.

"Why can't you speak?"

"Because I'm not sure yet. What about Jinmyeong's side?"

"First, I got rejected for having a partner, and now I'm being rejected for having a prospective husband. How is someone with such a strong ego going to come out of this?"

"Well, he rejected me anyway."

At Shin Tae-oh's nonchalant and indifferent response, Jeong Mi-jeong let out a sigh.

"I used to think you were mature when you were younger..."

As Jeong Mi-jeong mentioned Shin Tae-oh's childhood, she suddenly realized her mistake and fell silent. The atmosphere shifted as she looked at him with a questioning gaze, and Shin Tae-oh lowered his head.

"Whether back then or now, I'm living in accordance with my age."

"Right. So, do you really not have anyone you're dating? Or is it that you still don't know?"

Shin Tae-oh remained silent for a moment before responding.

"I don't have anyone at the moment, and I'm not sure yet."

Despite Shin Tae-oh's flippant response, Jeong Mi-jeong's expression remained unchanged. She spoke in a subdued voice.

"If you're still unsure about your own feelings..."

"It's my own feelings, so if I don't know, who will?"

"Tae-oh."

"There's no need to talk about things like counselling if it's not a solution. Trust your son. Just as..."

Shin Tae-oh pulled Jeong Mi-jeong closer, as if trying to console her motherly worries, but his gaze was subdued.

"I will become someone who is loved."

Prev / Next

[hellmouth-manor]

To Bring You News… || Chapter Start 3/3

Louisa’s return sparks many feelings in you all. Anger, confusion, hurt. No one seems to have wanted this. Louisa doesn't seem to care, playing with her hair as she waits for everyone's flurry of questions to subside. She holds up a long fingered talon like hand. 

“Hush. My time is precious, so I must deliver this news to you as directly as I can. Give me that platform to speak.”

This wasn't a request, but an order. Silence would be held in her presence whether by force or request. Once things have calmed, the demonic woman now stands tall, her smile widening.

“You all believe that you stand as one entity. A group of reluctant allies standing against the oppressors who use your suffering as their entertainment… But that isn't true.”

She looks dejected for a moment before staring down at all of you once again. 

“I come to bring news that may be upsetting. It may bring you fear… But I know you're very resilient people.”

She draws out the anticipation, her eyes glowing with eerie green light. 

“One of you is not who they say they are.” 

She steps closer to the group, running her claws over the wooden flooring. 

“This detestable game of give and take, eye for an eye, and blood for blood, is under the watchful patronage of one of you. There is a force among you that wishes this game to continue, and will stop at nothing to see to its end. They pull the strings, and have from the beginning. Trust my words, as I've come all this way to share them. And heed my warning, there are no allies when you cannot even trust the words of those next to you.”

She moves back towards the door, a soft smile on her face. 

“Maybe with time the imposter will reveal themselves. Maybe by force. But know that a wrong move could cost one their life.” 

She glances at the group. 

“Be clever. Stay vigilant… And don't trust anyone. I have faith in your success.” 

Her voice drips with amusement as her body inches backwards into the darkness. She leaves as quickly as she came, ducking into the void with an echoed goodbye, leaving you all with the knowledge of what she told you. 

[yoakkemae]

“hell is here.”

scorpia  rising  ,  chapter  19  (  “  hell  is  here.  ”  ).  cut  for  focus.  do  not  reblog.

Alex couldn’t move.

He was sitting in a high-backed leather chair, strapped in place by soft cords around his wrists, his ankles, and his neck. No matter how much he struggled, they would make no mark. A series of wires ran down his naked chest. Each one had been carefully positioned and stuck in place by an unsmiling female technician in a white coat. There were more wires attached to two of his fingers, his pulse, his forehead, and the side of his neck.

He was connected to a variety of machines that were already measuring everything that was happening inside him. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a green dot pulsing across a screen, and he knew it was recording his heartbeat. The dot was moving very fast. He tried willing it to slow down, but he was no longer in control. Alex hated the way that he had been reduced to nothing more than a laboratory specimen, but there had been nothing to do. 

They had finished by wheeling a large TV screen in front of him, and he had wondered what it was for. Was Razim going to show him some sort of horror film? Nothing could be worse than the horror that was all around him. For the moment, the television was turned off.

Alex waited to see what would happen next. He thought about Jack. Even now, there was a part of him that was more scared for her than for himself. He had been in situations like this before. A lot of unpleasant people had threatened him with a lot of unpleasant things, but somehow he had always come through. But this was all new to her. While he sat here, she would be putting her plan into operation, trying to escape. He just hoped she would take care. She had no idea what she was up against. 

Footsteps on the concrete floor. Julius Grief had returned, this time in the company of Razim. The boy’s face was flushed with excitement, and it made Alex’s stomach churn to see this grotesque version of himself capering toward him. 

“Are you afraid, Alex?” Razim asked. 

Alex didn’t answer. He didn’t trust himself to speak. 

“Would you like a glass of water before we begin?” 

Still, Alex said nothing. 

“A great many people have sat where you are sitting now,” Razim went on. “I have conducted many experiments in this room, and one day the world will be grateful for the information I have gathered. It is very unusual for me to have a teenager, and in normal circumstances it would suggest to me many possibilities.” 

He reached out. He was standing next to a trolley covered with a sheet, and he uncovered it to reveal a long line of knives and scalpels, neatly laid out. Alex knew that he was doing it purposefully for effect. It was the act of a bad stage magician in a cheap theatre. He tried not to look at the gleaming instruments. He already knew that he couldn’t break free. All he could do was sit and wait. 

“As you can see, there are all sorts of ways that I could cause you pain, Alex,” Razim murmured. “My young friend Julius has ideas of his own. Left to himself, he would, I am sure, do unspeakable things to you, starting perhaps with your toes and working up. He would have enjoyed that very much. Unfortunately, I cannot allow him to go ahead. We are both somewhat limited for reasons that I won’t go into at the moment. You cannot be marked in any way. No cuts or bruises! No bits missing! And so, with regret, we must say farewell to the knives and the syringes. There will be no bloodshed tonight.” 

He covered the trolley and pushed it away. 

“However, do not believe for a minute that this offers you some sort of easy way out. I have made it my life’s work to study pain in all its different forms, and the pain that I intend to inflict on you will be perhaps even worse. there are two instruments that I am going to use. Earlier today, I promised you hell. And now, my dear child, it is here.” 

He reached down and took hold of two plastic boxes. Alex recognised one immediately. It was a remote control, presumably for the television screen in front of him. The other was similar, about the size of a mobile phone, with a single red button mounted in the centre. Razim handed this to Julius, who took it gratefully, licking his lips and rolling it in his palm. 

“Are you ready, Alex?” Razim asked. “There’s something I want you to see.” 

He turned on the TV. It took the television screen several seconds to warm up. Alex found himself looking at a black-and-white image that was so fuzzy, it could have been shot at night. At first he didn’t understand what he was seeing. Julius Grief was leering at him, waiting for him to work it out. Razim was standing to one side, resting the remote control in his palm. Alex thought of closing his eyes, of looking away. Whatever these two freaks were trying to show him, it couldn't be good. But then he realised what was happening and knew that he was trapped, that it was already too late. 

There must have been a camera hidden somewhere high up in Jack’s cell. Alex still didn’t know why they were doing this, but as he watched her, Razim began a soft, mocking commentary. 

“So it would seem that your friend Miss Starbright stole a knife from the breakfast table this morning. That was very bad of her. But shall I tell you a little secret, Alex? I had an idea that she might. In fact, I rather wanted her to. And she didn’t disappoint me.” 

On the screen, Alex saw the bar fall out of the window. 

“And there you are,” Razim continued. “Who would have thought that someone as careful as myself would put your friend in a cell with a metal bar just waiting to come loose? And how foolish of me to dismiss the guards who usually control the prison block, leaving her free to wriggle out! What could I have been thinking of?” 

Alex was beginning to see where this was going. All around him, the machines pulsed and flickered and the needles began to twitch. Julius Grief was grinning, still clutching the black plastic box that Razim had given him. 

There were other cameras outside. Alex saw Jack look into the kitchen, then continue down the passageway where a third camera picked up the main courtyard with the waiting Land Rover. 

“Just one guard,” Razim crooned. “We didn’t want to make this too easy, did we!” 

“You wanted this to happen.” Alex wasn’t sure how he found the words. There was a terrible, crushing feeling in his chest, as if he was being scooped hollow. 

“Of course. Have you not yet learned? I am a master of manipulation. From the start, I have been pushing the buttons and pulling the strings. All along, you have been dancing to my tune.” 

Razim nodded at the screen. Alex watched Jack come out of her hiding place and knock out the guard. 

“There are two types of pain, Alex. Physical and emotional. Up until now, my experiments have all been physical. But as I have already told you, I need you intact. So it is emotional pain that I am measuring right now and, I have to say, the results are already impressive.” 

The needles were jumping and swaying like grass in the wind. Pulses of light were shooting across the screens. Alex’s entire body was tense, his hands straining against his bonds, his eyes staring. He knew what was coming. He had worked it out. 

“Please,” he pleaded. “She has nothing to do with this. You don’t have to hurt her.” 

Jack had gotten into the car. 

“Oh, but I’m afraid I do,” Razim said. “Miss Starbright is now sitting on thirty pounds of high explosive,” Razim said. “Consider the situation, Alex. She has been with you all your life. She has sacrificed so much for your happiness. She is, I am sure you would agree, your best friend.” 

“Leave her!” The machines had gone mad. Alex was writhing, trying to break free. 

“She is your best friend. And the remote control, the device that will detonate the explosive, is in the hand of someone who hates you, who has been dreaming for more than a year of destroying you. Why don’t you speak to him, Alex? Why don’t you ask him to take pity on you?” 

On the screen, Jack had driven out of the compound. The Land Rover was already on the track and picking up speed. 

“Please!” Alex felt hot liquid pouring out of the corners of his eyes. He couldn’t help himself. “Don’t...” 

“I’m sorry?” Julius pushed his face into Alex’s. “I don’t think I heard you.” 

“Please, Julius. I’ll do anything you want...” 

“You’re doing exactly what I want,” Julius said. He was holding the remote control right in front of Alex’s face. Alex saw his thumb press down. 

The car blew up. The images weren’t black-and-white after all. The fireball was bright red and orange at the center. The explosion seemed to take in the entire desert and sky. For a moment, there was no image at all. Then the cameras picked up the flaming skeleton of the car, lying still, with fire roaring through the shattered windows, and he knew that Jack Starbright was dead. 

Jack Starbright, who had looked after him since he was seven. Who had been at his side at the funeral of his uncle and who had tried to protect him once Ian Rider’s secrets had taken over his life. Jack Starbright, who had packed his books for school and taken care of his bullet wounds, always cheerful, always on his side. Jack Starbright, the one person he could confide in, who understood him better than anyone, and who should have never set foot in the terrible, shadowy world that he had inherited. Alex Rider’s grief burst out of him. There was no stopping it. The tears were coursing down his cheeks. He was howling, his whole body contorted, his eyes tightly shut. At the same time, Julius Grief was capering about him, laughing, while Razim examined his apparatus, tapping at a keyboard, comparing different readings. 

“It’s extraordinary,” he muttered. “We’ve never had readings like this. Never. It seems that I have completely underestimated the power of emotional pain.” 

Alex slumped forward, his head lolling against his chest. He had blacked out. But still the machines sucked out and translated his emotions...

“Wasn’t that great!” Julius exclaimed. “Wasn’t that cool!” 

Two guards had arrived. They untied Alex and dragged him away. Julius followed them out of the room. Razim sat where he was, deep in thought. 

Out in the desert, the flames flickered in the darkness, throwing jagged red shadows across the sand.