#I closed inbox bc I need to finally answer all questions in inbox

[queeenpersephone]

hii! just wanted to pop by and say i love love love your iron widow fics so much <33333 binged all your fics on ao3 and by chance stumbled upon your tumblr to read more prompts (loved them) not sure if you are still into tonynat anymore but thank you for your service 🩷 and if by chance you are, would you consider coming back to write fics for tonynat? 😂 i am here anytime for them hehe

hiii omg thank you so much this is so sweet 🥺 i will always be into them haha actually i answered one of those prompts like a week ago - tumblr is so bad at showing you when things are posted lol. i have more in my inbox but i have to kinda take them when inspiration strikes - but asks like these are so inspiring!! i'm still in my reputation series for ironwidow - currently working on fics for both king of my heart and look what you made me do. they are kinda slow going because i'm writing a lot for other fandoms but hoping to have one of them out next month!! you can always send prompts if you'd like for drabbles, and bc this made me smile here's a lil sneak peek of king of my heart:

“Nat,” he breathes over the line, calling for FRIDAY to stop the trace and shut down all recording devices. There’s a moment of soft noises and a thump; he’s sitting down. “Where are you?”

“Unimportant,” she clips in response. It’s only years of training that keeps her tone steady.

Tony has had no such luxury, and he groans at her answer. “Where are you?” He repeats tightly. She can imagine him, sitting hunched over, clutching his chair because he has no physical phone on which to take out his frustrations.

She closes her eyes at the image before she makes them flutter open. “So you can report to Ross?” She accuses, watching the bathroom door. It would be bad for Yelena to see this, to hear him affecting her so. She can’t face the questions or the teasing.

There is a long silence over the line as he digests her words. “Is that what you really think?” He asks finally, the anger palatable in his voice. “After everything?”

This accusation is something she has no response for. She could tell him how hurt she was after he turned her away, how happy she was with him, how regretful she is despite knowing her actions prevented the deaths and capture of their friends. She can feel her heart cracking open again despite how she just stitched it up; she can’t face both Tony and Yelena’s feelings, their censure. The two people she loves more than anyone else. So she pivots.

“I found my sister,” she says. She tries not to think about the way her voice wobbles, but Tony can obviously hear it, if his next words are any indication.

To his credit, Tony says nothing about her having a sister he’s never heard of. She can almost hear his brilliant mind whirling, knows he’s probably already fixating on that little polaroid on the fireplace. “Oh Nat,” he murmurs, and her heart cracks a little more. “How can I help?”

She fights back tears. Some ex-Russian assassin. “Barton and I failed when we tried to destroy the Red Room,” she tells him. “We failed, and there are more Widows because of it.” She pauses. “We’re going after it, Tony. All those girls.”

“I’m coming with you.”

Her heart stops. This is a response she had not expected, could not expect. “The Accords-”

Tony scoffs. “Fuck the Accords. These men are trafficking young girls, yeah? I don’t give a rat’s ass about jurisdiction, Romanoff.”

She smiles despite herself. “We’re still gathering intel,” she tells him, her voice noticeably warmer. “I’ll call if I need the firepower.”

She can hear some fumbling on the other end. “Swear to me, Nat,” he says, serious and low.

“I promise,” she says. It might be a lie, but then again, he knows that. Is probably preparing to help her anyways.

[fymagnificentwomcn]

So there is a high chance that suleyman and hurrem 's relationship wasn't monogamous right ? But if he really slept with other concubines then why and how didn't they give birth to children just like hurrem who gave him 5 or 6 children in a short period of time ? Also do you think that hurrem didn't sleep with suleyman after giving birth to her youngest sehzade since they didn't have another child for like 25 years+ ?

For this system and this culture I think we may safely call it monogamous. There’s nothing to indicate that he had any longer, even purely sexual, relationship with another woman. However, we obviously weren’t under his bed and since he had a harem full of women, we can’t be certain whether e.g. he didn’t quarrell with Hürrem once or twice and then had a one-night stand with one of the concubines for consolation… Even though Hürrem became his legal wife, there wasn’t a concept of marital fidelity there… And if he had any sexual encounters with any other women, he obviously most likely never produced any more children.

Here’s a quote from The Empress of the East by Leslie Peirce discussing the issue: (long, so under Read More)

Cihangir would be the last of Suleyman’s children. The sultan turned forty inAugust 1533, five months after he placed Mustafa in the field. The timing of the prince’s political inauguration was not coincidental. Forty was a number replete with religious, mythical, and historical significance for the Ottomans. For men, it was universally thought to be the threshold of full maturity. In Islamic tradition, the Prophet Muhammad was forty when he received the first of the revelations brought to him by the archangel Gabriel. In premodern times, the realities of the average person’s life span meant that a forty-year-old man was probably head of an extended family in which he and his wife were counting their own children’s children. Suleyman’s age was easy for his subjects to calculate if they remembered the year of his birth, 900, in the Islamic calendar. The beginning of a new Islamic century was thought to be a moment when a great leader might emerge.

Roxelana herself was still relatively young in 1533, probably in her late twenties at Cihangir’s birth two years earlier, almost certainly no more than thirty. But it would not be seemly to make a man who could now anticipate his first grandchild a father all over again. If decorum brought an end to her childbearing career, Roxelana may not have regretted leaving behind a phase of her life during almost half of which she had been pregnant. With five royal children to prepare for adulthood, she had her hands more than full. The end of childbearing did not spell the end of a sexual relationship between Roxelana and Suleyman, however. The sultan had apparently been unable to stay away from his favorite, and nothing suggests that their intimacy did not continue. And now it would be freed of the physical encumbrance of pregnancy. 

But how did the couple keep from conceiving more children? It is fair to say that without the practice of birth control, the Ottoman sultanate could not have evolved the highly engineered politics of reproduction that it sustained. In the opinion of the majority of Muslim jurists, abortion in the first trimester was acceptable if the birth of a child would bring physical harm to the mother or hardship to the family. The Old Palace midwives and female doctors were doubtless experts not only in conception and childbirth but also in forms of birth control that were compatible with the needs of the imperial household.

A variety of abortifacients and contraceptive techniques were known and had been catalogued already in medieval times. Use of suppositories and tampons by females predominated. Among the prescriptions of Al-Razi were five for intravaginal suppositories that used oil from cabbage flowers, pepper, juice of peppermint, leaves of pennyroyal, and dill. Known to western tradition as Rhazes, the great Persian philosopher was also head of the Baghdad hospital, cutting-edge for its time, and a practicing physician. Roxelana herself was by now probably familiar with the palace’s recommended techniques, or so her slower rate of childbirth from 1526 on suggests. 

Dynastic family planning was political planning. The personal decision of how many children to have and when was fraught with political consequence in the Ottoman dynastic family. Too many sons was a liability, as Suleyman had observed all too closely in the bitter rivalry between his uncles and his father. Even before their deadly showdown, he had watched Selim chafing at his confinement in Trabzon while his seven brothers and then their sons gained princely posts closer to the capital.

In 1533, Suleyman had four sons eligible to succeed him: Mustafa, Mehmed,Selim, and Bayezid. We can safely presume that Suleyman and Roxelanadeliberated the question of whether or not to have more children. Both wouldrecognize that the birth of yet another boy would only add more grief to thespectacle of their sons combating one another, let alone Mustafa. Four healthy sons was sufficient dynastic insurance, one more than Mehmed the Conqueror had provided. The public introduction of the three eldest princes at the 1530 circumcision celebration may have been intended in part to signal that the sultan considered his reproductive obligation to the empire fulfilled. A late baby, Cihangir was perhaps unanticipated or an afterthought — the result of a decision by Roxelana and Suleyman to have one last child.

- Joanna

It seems that Suleiman made a conscious decision not to have ANY more children, even with Hürrem. Still, judging by sources, I don’t think he had any long-term sexual relationship with any other woman.

[the-lady-of-stars]

The one about the Gonk droid and the Comm

For @itsyellow ☺️

Crosshair x Reader

Peace, love and kisses for my man Crosshair bc boy does he deserve it after todays episode. No spoilers for TBB. No plot at all tbh just shameless love for grumpy man. Somebody give this man a kiss pls.

Warnings: Very brief non-explicit mention of sex near the end but nothing graphic at all it's just Wrecker poking fun at Cross and reader.

My inbox is still open for requests! See my earlier post for details :)

You left your bunk on the Maurauder just in time to watch Crosshair storm off the ship, lips pulled into a thin grimace.

You immediately turned to look at the rest of the boys, furrowing your brows in silent questioning. The sheepish smile on Wrecker's face told you enough about what had occurred.

As much as they loved each other, Wrecker's boistorous and loud personality often clashed with that of his silent and snarky brother, something which proved to be the starting point for many arguments when they were crowded together on such a small ship.

With a roll of your eyes you slipped out the ramp and headed over to your sniper who was now perched on top of a tall rock glaring out over the forest. You basked in the feeling of grass beneath your boots, enjoying the fresh air that the planet you had temporarily stopped on provided.

Crosshair, as you had expected, was polishing his rifle with a cloth, a habit he had formed to calm himself down. He paid you no notice as you settled next to him, just meticulously scrubbing at the rifle.

"Cross." No answer. "Look at me. Please?" you spoke softly and sweetly to him, not wanting to anger him any further. You knew his annoyance at Wrecker wouldn't last long, it never did, but when he was angry Crosshair was a ticking bomb.

The sniper huffed out a sigh, carefully placing his rifle down before turning to meet your gaze. You smiled at him, and Crosshair immediately felt his irritation melting away at the tenderness in your eyes.

"What happened back there?" you asked tentatively.

He groaned, scowling at the memory. "Wrecker was weightlifting that karking gonk-droid again and he slammed it down on my comm. I'd only taken it off for a second before he crushed it. Tech's got it now, but there's only so much you can do to fix a pile of scrap metal with sparks coming out of it."

You choked lightly, trying to hide your laughter under the guise of a cough.

"Oh, think that's funny do you?"

Crosshair tried to get up to storm off yet again but you grabbed his wrist and lightly tugged him back down.

"Hey, hey no. 'S not funny. Not at all," once again you barely concealed a snort, resulting in the sniper rolling his eyes back. You didn't miss, however, the way his mouth began to form a grin.

Crosshair sighed to himself, finding his thoughts drifting to how you were his weak spot, how something about you brought him a feeling of peace that no other could.

He shook his head with a huff of laughter, finally seeing the humorous side as his anger faded.

"Gonna kill 'im," he grumbled, turning to face you and taking your hands in his.

You laughed openly this time, and Crosshair felt his heart skip a beat at the sound. Tech had described him as 'wrapped around your finger' a few days ago, and as much as he hated to admit it, his little brother was right.

Cross smiled, playing absentmindedly with your fingers as you sat cross-legged facing each other.

"I'm sure he didn't mean to drop it on your comm, Cross," you reassured with a smile.

"Eh, I know. Doesn't make the sheb-head any less annoying though."

You snickered then lifted his hands to your face, pressing a soft kiss against the knuckles of each one. Crosshair found himself in a trance, feeling his skin heat up as your plush lips skimmed across his hands.

He slid one hand out of your grasp to reach up and gently cup your jaw, running a thumb over your cheek. His breath caught in his throat as you leaned into his touch, your eyes fluttering closed. You tilted your head to the side to press a kiss to his palm. In return, Cross pulled the hand he was still holding to his lips and mirrored your previous actions, trailing kisses across the peaks of your knuckles.

It didn't matter how Crosshair liked to portray himself to outsiders. The second you came close to him he would always drop his cold and bitter facade in exchange for tenderness and passion.

"I love you," he breathed against your skin, barely audible but still music to your ears.

"I love you too, Cross. More than you'll ever know."

He exhaled deeply before shifting closer to you, lifting both hands now to cup your jaw and pull you in for a kiss. There was no rushing this time, no swift kisses stolen when his brothers weren't looking, no rapid pecks before charging into gunfire, there was just pure emotion.

Crosshair didn't need to use words to tell you how he felt. The way he tilted his head to swipe his lips oh so perfectly against yours told you enough, and you found yourself reaching behind his neck to pull him closer. You lowered one hand to rest it flat over his heart, feeling how strongly it pounded, how fast it jumped. You'd be lying if you said you were in any better state. His tongue lightly traced your bottom lip before he tugged on it with his teeth playfully, grinning.

He wormed his hands under your thighs and scooped you up into his lap, deepening the kiss. Crosshair felt high in that moment, caught up in the taste of your lips and the way your soft skin nuzzled against his. Your hands clutched the back of the collar of his blacks at the base of his neck, keeping him secure and close as you could.

The two of you were so caught up in the moment, in fact, that you failed to notice Wrecker bounding towards you until he practically roared out Crosshair's name in joy. He groaned deeply, his annoyance at his brother returning at being interrupted.

"What, Wrecker? Can't you see we're a little busy here?" he spoke sharply, turning his attention to the large man who was parading Crosshair's comm up in the air at the end of an extended arm.

"Tech fixed it! See? Good as new!" he bellowed, waving it around.

Crosshair groaned, reaching out to snatch it from his brother's grip before he went and broke it again.

"That's great, Wrecker. Now. D'you mind?" he sharply motioned his head in the direction of the Marauder, signalling his brother to return and leave him alone.

Wrecker convulsed with laughter at this, clutching his sides.

"Yeah, sure! I'll leave you alone so you can keep makin' out with your girl. Don't have too much fun though. Me and the boys are only over there in the ship and we sure as kriff don't wanna hear anything like we did the other night from your bunk."

You choked at this, turning to hide your face from Wrecker in embarassment, naturally only sending him into another fit of laughter.

"Wrecker!" Crosshair howled, pointing a finger aggressively at the Marauder.

"Alright, alright, I'm goin'." Wrecker chuckled, turning to depart for the ship but not before shooting you a heavy wink.

You groaned, hiding your face in Crosshair's neck. "I don't think I'm ever going to be able to show my face to your brothers again."

Cross' chest shook in laughter. "Oh well, they'll get used to it."

[angelguk]

omg so i sent in an ask re angst jock jk n oc ! but then i also realized its highly possible these 2 break up at one point while in uni mostly bc of the "are we dating bc its convenient" kinda dilemma and then it just pushes them apart bc they think theyre losing theirselves while being in such a close relationship,,,cue save ur tears by theweeknd BUT i just know when they grow up a lil bit more, theyll end up together <3

here we go! (the beginning of the end....may be...)

didn’t include save your tears as the soundtrack but may haps for the follow-up :3

pairing: jock!jk and oc

warnings: angst, yes the break-up scene, jaykay being an ass (a very huge one motivated by his own insecurities and selfishness – translation: he’d rather break her heart and carry that weight than be the heartbroken one), chayoung is no longer Seed of Doubt but something else (still up for debate but she’s fairly nice here), not edited but hey atp that’s part of my branding (also i would like everyone to consider that oc is not the greatest gf ever like guys don’t hate jk alone!!)

soundtrack: bags, clairo + stay, gracie abrams + say you know, alina baraz

(titled — honeymoon fades)

Jeongguk’s contact name hasn’t lit up the screen of your phone for six days now and you haven’t seen his face for just as long. It’s weird to go from constant incessant  communication to complete and utter radio silence. Not a single meme deposited in your Instagram inbox, no random notification from his Twitter. Just silence, quiet brewing silence. 

It breaks two days later when Chayoung finds you coddled under your duvet, mouth stuffed with the saccharine sweetness of mint chocolate. (Jeongguk kept a stash of it at your place but who was around to eat it anymore apart from you?). 

“And why do you look like you live in a dumpster?” She’d hummed, ripping open the curtains you’d involuntarily welded shut. 

“Because that’s how I feel inside,” you’d retorted, pushing aside your laptop. The screen is stuck with an image of an idiotic character named Nabi kissing the spawn of Satan. You hope for her sake it works out. Chayoung had huffed at your response, fondly whacking your head with a stray pillow. 

“Well get over that feeling cause we’re going out tonight.” A declaration, the fierceness in her feline eyes a warning that you’re not allowed to even think of saying no. That doesn’t mean you hadn’t tried – sorrowful eyes and pouted lips as you begged her to spare you. But Chayoung is a force of nature, one that could easily wreak havoc on your delicateness. And she does though, with a string of comments that propels you out of the miserable burrow you’d dug up. 

“You’re killing everyone, you know?” She’d supplied, yanking open your closet. “You’re sulking, Jeongguk is shutting down. He’s said like five words since this whole...thing...you have going on.” 

You couldn’t help but scoff at that, toying with the corner of the large grey shirt donned on your body. Jeongguk’s shirt. One of his favourites actually. You’d thought about stealing it after spying it on his obsessively neat laundry pile, but after seeing your wandering eyes he’d given it to you instead. 

“He always does that,” you’d said after Chayoung had whipped her head in your direction, curved eyebrows perplexed. “I mean, shut down. It’s his emotional response to things that bother him. Complete detachment so it hurts less.”

She had just stared at you, a long meaningful look at left your skin prickled. 

“Huh.”

“What do you mean ‘huh’?”

A measured step forward, her body weight sinking into the edge of your mattress a moment later. “I mean, you know him so well.”

“Of course I do he’s my best-friend,” you’d said, indignation coating your words

“No–No you're not getting me. You know him. You know he wouldn’t make the move to reconcile–”

“But he should!”

“You told him to go away! He’s trying to listen to you even though he’s hurting!”

And maybe that was it, that simple implication that you were causing him pain that had you pausing, reviewing the things you’d said to him – the things you’d felt. 

“But,” a timid rebuttal, “I just–I just need him to show me that he cares.”

“He does,” Chayoung had returned. “So much. And he misses you. He’s probably just afraid that you don’t feel the same.”

“But I do! He knows this.”

“Does he?” A question in her eyes, one that you’re afraid you know the honest answer to. 

You say things and never mean them, he had said, eyes hard.

That had hurt you but perhaps he was right, there are things you hadn’t told him, feelings you hadn’t truly expressed. And Jeongguk had always been good to you, so understanding and caring, trying to fill the places were you lacked. Wasn’t he the one who planned the majority of your dates? Remembered all the important milestones of your relationship while you contributed the bare minimum. You hadn’t even told Chayoung about the surprise he had planned for your one-year anniversary, the shame of your own choice hanging heavy over your head. 

So that’s why you’re here, staring at the back of his head forlornly as the music drifts around you, flashing florescent lights bathing him a hazy glory. He hasn’t seen you yet (something you’re thankful for because oddly enough you feel sick to your stomach). It feels like you’re skating on thin ice, waiting for the impending crack to sound through your heart, ice water swallowing you whole immediately. Chayoung is the one who pushes you forward, gingerly plucking the idle drink from your hand, Jimin aiding her efforts with a soft smile your way. 

It’s time for you to try the way Jeongguk has, put aside that bumbling ego that oversees your actions and adopt the humility he’s always granted you.

“Go,” she murmurs. “He misses you.”

And God you hope he does because you’ve missed him too. 

Except the moment his honey eyes land on you you know he hasn’t.

“Jeongguk,” you mumble. Yoonoh is frozen beside him, concerned gaze flicking between your faces. Your own eyes are stuck on him, the shape of his nose, the curve of his lips, the subtle hint of the dimple in his cheeks. 

You’ve missed him, and it slips from your heart and brims in your eyes, vision blurry as your blink those stray tears back inside. 

“Hi,” you add, when his silence doesn’t break.

“I should probably go,” Yoonoh lets out, awkward words bumping into the wall of tension standing firm between you to. He settles a hand on Jeongguk’s shoulder, sending him a look that feels loaded. “See you guys later, right?”

You nod, finally noticing the lump clogging your throat. “Yeah, sure.” Jeongguk just hums, the edge of his cup caught between his lips. Yoonoh flees within seconds, leaving you to wade through this alone. 

“I–I know you’re not happy with me right now, but please, can we just talk?” He blinks at you, it feels like a premonition. “Please?”

“Okay.” The simple word fills you, like a hollow you weren’t aware of finally found the cure needed. 

“Okay,” a small smile on your lips. Jeongguk’s face is still unreadable. He guides you up and away from the deafening sound of the song bleeding from the speakers, into an empty room, the door closing behind him muting the music and giving way to the own pounding in your head. Nobody says anything for a second, both of you navigating this uncharted territory of animosity. Until Jeongguk sighs, melting into the bed at the centre of the room. You follow suit, allocating enough space between the two of you. You’ve ever had to do that before.

“You said you wanted to talk?” Jeongguk finally cuts through it, eyes unforgiving when he glances at you.

“I did! I do–Just Jeongguk,” you can’t help it drifting out. “I miss you.”

Nothing, not even a flicker in his eyes. He eyes shift to the floor instead. “Okay. I that what you wanted to say?”

“No–No not just that! I’ve missed you Jeongguk and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that i went off on you like that and I’m sorry I haven’t been the best towards you and I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel like I didn’t care about you–or made you feel like the things I said or did had no meaning behind them. Because they do–they do because I love you. I love you so so much and I’m sorry if I made it seem like otherwise.” You automatically extend out for him, hoping to grasp on his thing floating to fast away from you. Jeongguk shifts and you hand tumbles down to the empty space between you instead, halted by his hesitance. 

His head drops into his palms a second later, a broken exhale leaving his lips. The motion cause the silver bracelet on his wrist to slip down the length of his arm. It jolts something in you. Jeongguk had given you a matching one but you’d ripped it off after the last argument and hadn’t considered putting it back on. But Jeongguk was still wearing his. 

“Do you really?”

“What?” He’s staring at you know, doe eyes cloudy.

“Do you really love me?” There, that stupid evil vile question that you thought you had the answer to but the words vanish in your head the longer he looks at you.

“I do–what? What are you implying? Of course, I do.”

“Of course, you do,” Jeongguk echoes. His eyes turn to the window located over his shoulder. You can see his head working through something, and you’re suddenly terrified fingertips itching to wander through his curls and coax those thoughts from his head. 

“Jeongguk? What the hell are you talking about? Talk to me, please.”

He sighs again, at it feels like your heart splinters. A sudden shake of his head and Jeongguk twists back to face you, a silent tear falling down his cheek.

“You don’t love me.”

“Wh–What are you talking about? I do! And how can you decide my feelings for me?”

“No. You don’t love me the way you think you do–the way you should.” It feels like he’s saying it to more than you, like he’s saying it to himself. “Maybe this the wrong choice to make. You know. Maybe we shouldn’t have done this.”

You shatter just like that, shards on the floor as you stare him, this person that you thought you knew. And maybe the feeling is mutual because Jeongguk is staring at you in a similar way, searching for the courage to say the words you know lie in his heart. Like a loaded cannon, waiting for the match to strike and leave you lying in pieces. 

“I think we should break–"

“No,” you cut him off with an adamance that you didn’t know existed until right then. “No, you’re not gonna say that and we are not doing this.”

His eyes narrow then, jaw set. “This is not about ‘us’, I’m doing what’s right for me.”

“How is that right? Huh, Jeongguk? Don’t you care about this? Don’t you care about me?”

He looks away then, ignoring your questions, his throat stuck. 

“Jeongguk...” You reach out again, and he allows it, shoulders sinking with the weight of your hand on them. “Don’t you care about me?”

Another heavy exhale, his eyes blinking hard. “I do. And that’s why this won’t work, not the way it should at least. I really think we should end this, or at least reconsider the reasons why we’re together. You say you love me–you say you always have but really–really think about it. About me and us and what we are. I’m sorry, I really am but I just can’t do this anymore.”

He rises then, your outstretched hand tumbling down to the empty space he’d left behind. You can’t move it, can’t breathe, your heart hurtling out of your chest and onto the ground where it lies, fragmented beyond repair and bleeding bare. You glance up through tears, watch him open his mouth and then it and look away. 

“Do you mean it?” You finally ask, and his eyes snap to you. He knows what you’re saying. There’s a pause that stretches out for eternity, coloured by the sound of the ringing in your head.

“Maybe.” It cuts right through you, lodging itself deep with intent. And then you just have to nod, swallow the scream clawing at your throat. He murmurs one more apology before his feet carry him away, and you watch, forlorn as you burn his frame into your memory, as your whole world walks out the door.

[corpsedaydream]

crash

so, here i am with a new one shot.

so before anyone asks if i’m gonna be posting frequently again or anything, i process things by writing about them. if something is running through my mind over and over and i can’t think through it on my own in my mind, writing about it generally helps me. this past weekend was supposed to be a fun long weekend away w my friends but it quickly ended when i experienced something pretty traumatic. i haven’t been able to sleep at all the past couple nights and so i started working on this. originally it was just going to be something private to help myself w the panic i was feeling then i started adding a muse into it and then i realised i was still writing about corpse without even meaning to, so i guess he’s still got me feeling musey.

anyway, i thought about keeping this private bc i’m still rly shaken up about what happened but idk feels like a shame to just let it sit on my computer.

idk if i’m back to this blog yet, i still feel indifferent about it. i’m signed out on my phone and was signed out on my laptop until just now and haven’t opened my inbox.

anyway. here’s the one shot.

word count: 1666 words (i’m not kidding)

trigger warning: car crash, panic attack

__________________________________________________

crash

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up wake up wake up.

The words repeated over and over in your head. You’d had dreams about crashing your car before, but usually you woke up just before the point of impact. This time you didn’t.

This couldn’t of happened, this can’t be real, this is a a dream, I’ve got to wake up.

But you were already very much awake, this was very much real.

The colour had already drained from your face, tears were welling up in your eyes and your heart had already sunk. Your hands were trembling, your chest was completely still, you weren’t breathing in that moment. Your body had reacted before your mind had completely caught up.

“Fuck.” Was all you managed to say as realisation had hit you. You’d gotten into a car crash.

You looked around you, wondering how the others cars on the road were still moving when it felt like your world had just come to a stop when your car had its collision. You heard your dad’s voice in your head, all the things he’d told you when he taught you how to drive, had - god forbid - you ever ended up in a situation like this.

You went through the motions as well as you could. You were in a state of shock and physically, you were definitely there, but mentally, you really weren’t present. You were having an out of body feeling in the most terrifying way, it was a defence from the panic that had overwhelmed you.

-

Corpse felt a surge of anxiety. He had no idea why, either. All he was doing was looking through fan art on twitter, he hadn’t seen anything that usually would make him feel like that. It just throttled its way into himself seemingly out of no where.

It was especially odd seeing that today had been such a good day. Waking up beside was usually something that put him in a good head space.

So he started to call you, you always made him feel better. But then he remembered you were driving and you were a cautious driver, you never answered your phone when you were behind the wheel. You’d told him in the past how tenacious your dad had been as a driving teacher and it had really stuck with you.

Just as he was about to hang up, knowing you weren’t going to answer, you did.

“Hello?” Something was off. Corpse heard it right away in just that one greeting from you.

“Are you okay?” He didn’t even greet you back, he already had anxiety running through him and the unsettling tone of your answer of the phone had only made it increase.

“I think so.” You were so monotoned. Corpse had never heard you speak this way. You were a lot of things, but monotone was not one. You were expressive, bright and dramatic.

“You think so?” He repeated in a questioning way, wanting to know what was wrong.

“Yeah.” You responded so plainly again. Corpse almost wanted to ask you who was he speaking to right now, because surely this couldn’t have been you. This person had your voice, but this was a person he did not know right now.

“What’s going on?”

“I crashed my car.” You said it to him so simply. There was no emotion behind it. His heart thundered as if a terrible hail storm had just broken out. 

“What?!” 

“I crashed my car.” You repeated. Once again so eerily unemotional.

“Where are you?!”

-

Corpse shouldn’t have been driving in the state he was in, but he needed to get to you. His emotions were running so high and he couldn’t comprehend why yours weren’t.

After what felt like the longest drive of his life, he reached the crash site. His panic peaked when he spotted the ambulance, immediately thinking the worst. But then he saw you standing to the side of it. You were up and talking to the paramedics, that was at least a good sign you weren’t seriously injured.

“(Y/N),” He called for you as he got out of his own car. And just like your voice on the phone, your movements were so robotic.

You were normally so open with your emotions, you were such a readable and honest person. When you were happy, you shined, when you were mad, you yelled red, when you were sad, you cried oceans. But Corpse had never seen you in a true state of shock. He’d never seen your fight or flight response. And apparently it was a stillness and unresponsive, the complete opposite to how you were normally.

“Are you okay?” He knew you probably weren’t, but he couldn’t find any clue to how you were feeling. Until his footsteps brought him closer to you.

You didn’t respond to him at all. Even words felt like too much right now. As he neared you, though, he spotted the signs of fear your body displayed that your words did not. Your hands and arms were trembling, your shoulders were slumped, your face was completely pale, sweat dotted all over your forehead despite it not being a hot day, tears were slowly spilling from your eyes one by one, your chest was moving unevenly as you struggled to breathe properly.

“Baby, c’mere.” Corpse didn’t hesitate to gather you in his arms. Holding you so tenderly against him. That’s when he felt that it was more than just your arms and hands that were trembling, your entire body had a slight shake to it. He knew you were experiencing true terror in that moment.

-

The time between your banged up car getting placed onto a tow truck and arriving back at your apartment felt like a blur.

You’d just gotten off the phone with your insurance provider when you’d heard Corpse.

“Are you in any pain?”

"What?” You’d heard him perfectly but you hadn’t once thought about how this had affected you physically.

“Are you in any pain?” He repeated himself.

“I’m not sure.” And you weren’t, but the paramedics had said that adrenaline would be coursing through you right now and adrenaline was the biggest distraction from pain. “I’m gonna go have a shower.”

“Okay.” Corpse watched you with concerned eyes until you disappeared behind your bathroom door. He so badly wanted to help, wanted to make you feel better, break you out of this state you were in that he was so not used to.

-

You didn’t know how much time you’d spent in the shower. But it was long enough that the sky had grown darker and the moon had replaced the sun by the time you emerged. Once you’d gotten dressed, you made slow steps towards your bedroom. Your hands were trembling more violently than before and your breathing was speeding up.

The shock was finally wearing off and reality was getting ready to slap you hard across the face.

“Corpse...” Your voice was so silent, almost as if you couldn’t form a word due to the air that seemed harder and harder to breathe as a panic attack started to take control of you.

Corpse might not have even heard you had he not been on such high alert for you right now. But he was, and so he did he hear you and when he saw the state you were in, he instantly got up from his spot on your bed where he was waiting for you and was wrapping you up tight.

You were hyperventilating so dangerously, your heart felt like it was being encased in treacherous clouds that tightened with every intake of air you struggled to get.

You couldn’t remember the last time you had cried this way. You were breaking down.

Corpse was completely holding you up. Had it not been for him, you would be a crumbled heap on the floor.

-

The both of you didn’t sleep that night.

Every time you were close to drifting off, the crash would replay in your mind on an insufferable loop and you would jolt awake and the panic would restart all over.

And every time, Corpse was right there to hold you through it. He didn’t sleep due to how concerned he was about you.

-

The next day was a little easier mentally, but a lot harder physically. You’d gotten so much emotion out the night before that now the pain could have your attention.

Everything from your hips up felt sore, stiff and tense. Every time you moved your neck was scary because it felt like it was about to snap. But worst of all was your chest. It was hard and painful to breathe. The paramedics had warned you about this. The impact to your chest was going to take the longest to recover from. You kept your breathing shallow, any other kind of breathing made you wince and Corpse noticed.

“You’re hurting.” It wasn’t a question, he was stating what he noticed. He’d known the signs of someone in pain. Plus he had also taken note of the bruises that had appeared on your skin, the colouring of them looking like a painting of a galaxy, all purple and blue. 

“A little bit.”

“Mhm.” He knew it was more than a little bit, but he wasn’t about to argue with you. He looked over you laying beside him, grateful that you were still here, you were alive. A car could be replaced, but you could not.

You were flat on your back because that was really only the current position that felt even the tiniest bit comfortable right now. Corpse was on his side, one of his hands supporting his head as he leaned over you. His other hand began to soothingly run his fingers through your hair and you let your eyes flutter close at the touch.

“Tired?”

“Yeah.” You mumbled back, keeping your eyes shut and feeling exhaustion take over you.

“Try sleeping, baby. I’ll be right here.”

[youngbeezer]

hi!! can I please request something?

going to a lake house, maybe friends to lovers with bowen byram?

thank you! 💗.

A/N: HI IM SO SORRY THIS LITERALLY TOOK 4 EVER!!! i was having such bad writer's block with also zero motivation, but i eventually put a little something together and i hope whoever requested this first off actually sees this bc seriously its been a good month of this sitting in my inbox but also i hope you like it :)

Word Count: 2940

Warning(s): kinda angsty in beginning, curse words, ends fluffy !!!

masterlist || join my taglist

These next few days is either going to turn out to be the best week of the summer, or the most awkward week of the summer...

I’m currently stuck in a car surrounded by couples on our way to a lake house in Colorado. Somehow I ended up being lumped into this chaotic group of professional hockey players and their drop-dead gorgeous significant others.

About a year ago at my local salon, I just so happened to be seated right next to a woman named Grace, who I immediately hit it off with. We became fast friends and are now basically inseparable at this point. Her boyfriend just so happens to play hockey for the Colorado Avalanche, Cale Makar. Now I have also grown quite close with Cale as well, since I am always at their shared apartment for Grace. At this point Cale is basically third wheeling us, instead of it being the other way around. Therefore I was also always invited to team parties and get-togethers, which prompted more friendships with most of the guys on the team and their respective partners.

Someone I have surprisingly grown super close with is Bowen Byram. As soon as Cale introduced us two, his blue eyes and raspy voice immediately drew me in. Straight away we bonded over common interests and that night we talked for almost three hours. After that, we were thick as thieves. So thick that recently I have come to the realization that I have caught major feelings for him along the way.

It has only been a few weeks since I have come to this realization and it has already started to affect our relationship. I definitely started to ignore Bowen a little bit when I first figured out my feelings because I was scared he would somehow find out or I would just end up blurting it out at some point. And the last thing I want is for my silly feelings to ruin such a great friendship.

Thus why this week can either turn out to be the best or the worst.

I’ve decided that at some point during this trip I need to confess my feelings for Bowen. He’s also seemed to notice the shift in my attitude towards him. I have become more closed off and not as touchy as we used to be. Bowen and I are both very touchy/feely types of people. So what seemed like just some harmless cuddling and play wrestling with each other, to me did very little to quell down my feelings.

For example, this morning when we were packing up the cars for the trip a group of us are taking to Tyson Jost’s lakehouse, Bowen went to wrap his arms around my middle from the back and I subconsciously flinched away at his touch. I know he definitely noticed my mood shift from the defiant pout that was resting on his face. After that I did what I do best, and ran away to the other car that was driving up and basically begged Nate to switch seats with me.

Which now leads to my current thoughts. The entire car ride up I have been contemplating on ways I could tell him, but each scenario just ended up with him telling me that he doesn’t feel the same, and our friendship essentially being over. Obviously I was just overthinking just a little, but I’ve never been stuck in a situation like this before-- and now we are going to be stuck in a lake house together for an entire week, so I am going to be forced to face this situation whether I want to or not.

“Yo. Earth to y/n?” Tyson draws, trying to gain my attention. I snap out of my thoughts as soon as I hear my name, and bring my gaze to the rearview mirror to meet Tyson’s questioning look. “We’re here.” He announces.

Susanna, Mikko’s girlfriend, adds on, “You alright? You seemed kind of out of it the entire car ride.”

I shake my head to try and clear my thoughts and notice that we are indeed here at the lake house we will be staying at for the next week. I clear my dried up throat before croaking out a weak, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just don’t like long car rides.”

Both of them nod, content with my answer and exit the car to join Mikko in unloading all of the luggage from the trunk. I take a few more moments to fully get my head together after dealing with all my jumbled thoughts throughout the entire three hour car ride.

Jumping out of the car, the first thing I see is Bowen letting out a yawn and stretching out. As his arms raise over his head, some of his shirt rises up with it and immediately my eyes are drawn to the small portion of skin and v-line that is in front of me. Bowen then notices my presence and makes eye contact with me, giving me one of his adorable little smiles. I advert my gaze as quickly as I can so my obvious ogling isn’t as obvious and go to finally retrieve my luggage.

Yeah this was gonna be a long week.

…

After everyone got pretty much all settled into their rooms, we all ended up coming back together to sit around the firepit to chat and enjoy some drinks. For this trip that Tyson orchestrated there are in total ten people staying in the house. Me, Tyson, obviously since it’s his house; Bowen, Cale, Grace, Alex Newhook, Mikko and his girlfriend Susanna, and lastly Nate and his supposed new girl who will be joining us later on in the week.

Apparently a group of the guys and their partners have been taking trips together at the end of the hockey season for a while now, and since growing closer with the team this year, I graciously got an invite.

Since it was getting later and a little bit more chilly, I grabbed a random sweatshirt that I saw already laying around in the living room before making my way outside to join everyone by the firepit. Getting closer I noticed that the only seat available just so happened to be next to Bowen.

Cale and Grace give each other a not so inconspicuous knowing look when they see me approaching. As soon as I sit down, a question is being thrown at me.

“Whose sweatshirt is that y/n?” Cale brings everyone's attention to me with a growing smirk on his face.

“I don’t know, I just found it in the living room.” I give Cale a questioning glare, trying to figure what his endgame is right now.

“It’s mine.” I hear that same raspy voice that I love and know so well. I feel my face start heating up at the idea of wearing Bowen’s sweatshirt. Am I wearing his name on my back right now, and I just didn’t even think to check earlier?

“Oh, uh. Sorry, I can give it back to you, if you want it.” I stumble out, now feeling awkward and a little embarrassed about how flustered I am getting over a simple sweatshirt.

Bowen gives me a little smile before replying back, “Nah, it’s fine. It looks better on you anyway.”

I clear my throat and stumble out an awkward ‘thanks’ at Bowen and then turn my attention to Grace right next to me so I don’t embarrass myself even more. What I don’t see though is the way Bowen's face immediately falls when I turn my back on him.

…

Around midnight is when everyone started to make their way back inside the house to start getting ready for bed. I was mindlessly scrolling through my social media, so I didn’t notice that mostly everyone had already gone inside.

“Y/n.” I look up at the mention of my name to notice that Bowen and I are the only ones left outside.

Also noticing the intense gaze I am receiving from Bowen, I quickly gather my things and stumble out, “Oh my gosh I didn’t notice everyone left already. I should head inside as well.”

Bowen is quicker though because he grabs ahold of my wrist, halting me in place before I make my very obvious escape.

“Hold on, please. Can you please talk to me?” Bowen pleads out.

“What do you mean? We’ve been talking all night.” I countered, trying one last time to get out of this conversation.

“We’ve been talking as a group all night yeah, but you couldn’t even make eye contact with me. You know what I mean. What’s been going on? Did I do something?” Bowen frowned.

At that moment I felt so guilty. I’ve been so focused on trying to ignore my feelings that I have developed that I ended up pushing my best friend away and hurting him in the process. I close my eyes and let out a deep breath. I knew I would eventually have to have this talk with Bowen during this week, but I just didn’t expect it to be on the very first night.

“Okay. Yeah, let’s talk.”

I lead the way down to the dock overlooking the lake and sit down to dangle my feet into the water. I know for a fact that Grace and Cale realized that we both haven’t come in behind them, so they are most likely snooping by the backdoor wondering what we are doing.

Bowen joins me, after slipping his shoes off and dangling his feet in as well.

“What’s been going on y/n?” Bowen asks again.

“I-I think I’m in love with you.” I blurt out. I can feel my heartbeat pounding in my ears as I await any type of response from Bowen. Taking a peek over at him, I see the pure shock on his face. Probably wasn’t the best idea to start off the conversation with that.

Taking his silence as a bad sign, I start spewing out whatever I can to try and calm the anxiety coursing through my veins. “I-I think I have known for a while and I just tried to ignore it, I guess. But then I realized that I was just pushing you away, an-and I never wanted to do that. Our friendship means that absolute world to me, and I would hate myself if anything I did, or-or my stupid feelings jeaporized that.” At some point during my little rant, a few tears escaped. I turn my head away as I try to hold back on a full on sob breaking loose.

“You think?” He eventually breaks the silence.

Confusedly, I turned my head back around and let out a strangled, “Huh?” I see the corners of Bowen’s mouth start curving up into a tiny smile, confusing me even more.

“You said, you think you’re in love with me.” He pointed out.

My eyebrows raise in question and I give him a little shrug, prompting him to elaborate more.

“Well… I’m pretty damn sure I’m in love with you.” Bowen softly declared.

My breath catches in my throat and my mouth turns as dry as the Sahara Desert. Those were definitely not the words I was expecting to come out of his mouth. He chuckles at my surprised face and scooches a little closer to my body to wipe a stray tear on my cheek.

“Are you serious?” I whisper out.

“Of course.” He whispered just as softly back to me as his head inched closer to mine.

My heart pounds in my chest as Bowen’s hand comes up to cradle my cheek. All of our pent up feelings and emotions that we both have been too afraid to admit all come crashing together as our lips finally meet. He kissed me gently, almost carefully, but after all this time gentleness was not what I wanted right now. Bowen let out a low groan as I pulled him flush against my body, my fists bunching up the collar of his shirt.

Before this could go any further, we both pull away breathlessly, basking in what truly just happened-- just now realizing how much our relationship is about to change.

“Fuck.” Bowen breathed out, running his hands over his face. “If I knew that was what it was like to kiss you I would’ve blurted out my feelings the day I met you.”

My ears perk up at his last few words and it seems like he also realizes what he just admitted, as his cheeks immediately turn a rosy color.

“You’ve liked me for that long?” I bashfully question.

Bowen runs his fingers through his hair and blows out a breath of air before answering, “Yeah, I-I mean… yeah I have.” He stumbles out, awkwardly letting out a laugh.

I lean my head on his shoulder and connect our hands, feeling super content and never wanting this moment to end. We take a moment to just sit on the dock-- with our feet hanging in the water, hands intertwined; and bask in the feeling of finally letting our feelings out into the open.

“You know everyone in that house is going to have a field day when they find out.” Bowen mumbles against my shoulder, before leaving a lingering kiss on the exposed skin.

“Oh I wouldn’t be surprised if they all had a bet going or something.” I chimed. I raise my head that had previously been resting on Bowen’s shoulder back up to look at him, and see that he is already smiling at me. “What?” I drawled, feeling my cheeks heating up under his gaze.

“You wanna sleep in my bed tonight?” He asked hesitantly.

My cheeks now feel on fire as I ponder on how I want to go about this. I raise my eyebrows up at him in question as I ponder out, “Do you want me in your bed tonight?”

Bowen gives me an almost incredulous look as he voiced, “Of course I want you in my bed.”

I just give him a simple nod and push my body up in a standing position, reaching out my hand to prompt Bowen to join me. “Okay, let’s go.”

Bowen immediately shoots up from his sitting position, clinging onto my hand as we make our way back up the yard to the sliding glass doors of the lake house. Just as I predicted earlier, Cale and Grace were totally snooping. Actually, the entire house was snooping. Everyone was gathered in the kitchen trying to act casual as we walked in, but as soon as they noticed our conjoined hands, all hell broke loose.

“I fucking knew it!”

“Aw you guys look so cute.”

“Bout time.”

“Ha! Nate, you owe me fifty bucks.”

I looked over at Bowen with an unimpressed look, “Told you they probably had a bet going on.” Meanwhile Bowen has an incredulous look coating his face watching his friends freak out over his newfound relationship. Instead of questioning our oddball friends, Bowen just simply shakes his head, letting out a little chuckle.

“Alright I’m heading up, I can’t deal with these idiots right now.” Bowen gives me a quick peck on the lips before announcing his departure for the night. Most of the others also start making their way up to their respective rooms for bed, the guys putting on a show of making kissy noises and making a few chirps as they follow Bowen up the stairs.

Grace joins me by the counter, making a show of wiggling her eyebrows at me. I’m smiling like an idiot as Cale also joins us, chuckling at my lovesick expression.

“You’re welcome.” Cale smirked.

I scrunch my face up in confusion as I question him back, “For what?”

“For introducing you two, duh.” Cale teased. Grace smacks him on the arm with a tut, making a show of rolling her eyes at her boyfriend. “Alright, seriously I am happy for you guys though.” He eventually relents.

My cheeks heat up from the attention but also from the thought of Bowen and I’s new relationship. Grace grabs me by the shoulders and starts pushing me in the direction of the staircase.

“Obviously I’m happy for you too. All I’ve wanted is the best for you and I think Bowen is just that. And with that being said, go get your mans!” She sends me off with a quick smack on my ass. I giggle the whole way up the stairs on the way into Bowen’s [now our] room feeling extremely giddy and content.

When I enter the room, all the lights except for the bathroom are already off, and it looks like Bowen is already settled into bed. So, I quickly do my night time routine and change into my pajamas before making my way over to the bed I will now be sharing for the week.

Bowen is awaiting me with his arms wide open, which I happily cuddle into the second I am under the covers. He buries his head into my neck, leaving featherlight kisses here and there.

“I love you.” Bowen mumbles into my neck. I card my fingers through his hair and kiss the top of his head as I mumble back those same words, in complete awe over how fast my life has changed in one night. We both knew that we would eventually be together, it just took a little time and a trip to Tyson Jost’s lakehouse for us to figure it out. This week will definitely be one for the books.

Taglist: @barzysandmarnersbitch @handwrittenheroes @hockeyplayerstories @barzy-xoxo @gnemgn @joelsfarabees

Tagging some mutuals as well so this doesnt flop,,,

@2manytabsopen @bb-nhlqueen7 @frederikanderson @simon-edvinsson @coltonndach @carepriceisgoodathockey @lovereadinghockeyy @pettypeteys @kentjohnsons @joekellys @mattybenierss

[tobi-momo]

Short Hair :)

a/n: thank you for requesting anon! i once cut my hair pretty short and was also a lil insecure so this helped me too! feel free to come by my inbox any time! Also- big big thank you to my sis @combat-wombatus​ <3 for basically coming up with the ground structure yall should go follow her bc her works? literal *chefs kiss* (i also kind took it as a pixie cut? so i am v sorry if you wanted the hair shorter) Request: 

Type: Drabble/Scenario

Genre: Fluff, comfort (?), i think i kept this mostly GN, sooo

Warnings: cursing, insecurity, (i think thats it?)

general taglist: @zerohawks​ @hitosushi​ 

Bakugou’s Crush Being Insecure About Their Short Hair

Mina had always been an unpredictable sparring partner

She was always jumping around and throwing her acid carelessly, trying to have fun with you as you actually try to do something with your quirk

Kirishima knows how much of a mess Mina can be and because yall are using his workout equipment- he needs to supervise.

He was givin yall tips n shit- very manly of him

You guys were getting into it, really trying to defeat one another when Mina made a mistake

Her acid hits your hair, burning it off to almost above chin length

Kirishima hurries over to your side, checking your neck and head for injuries and burns before turning over to Mina

“I’m so so so so so sorry, y/n! I didn’t mean to I swear!”

“It’s- It’s fine,” you lied, now super embarrassed and insecure, “i’ll just get it fixed or something. No big deal.”

“You’re lucky it was no big deal, one inch to the right and the acid woulda cut through your neck,” kirishima adds, worried about your state- you could always count on him to see behind your mask- thats one of the reasons hes your best friend

“Are you okay?” Mina pleads

“Yeah, of course, I just need to fix,” you point to your mess that you call hair, “this,” you breathe out a laugh

Mina basically freaks out and Kirishima being the manliest man to ever exist takes care of you <33 (not like that tho- this is a baku x reader, ok!)

He gives you a ride to the hair salon (he needed to touch up on his hair too ngl) and totally hypes you up the entire time you were getting your hair trimmed

It made you feel better, but you were still iffy about your hair, but what else were you gonna do? Shave your head? Hell no.

He knew this, of course, and offered you one of his hats to where during school hours until you were comfortable

So, showing up to school in Kirishima’s hat set someone in particular off. 

Walking into class with an expressionless face, you take your seat and sloppily drop your bag on the floor beside your chair. Not feeling up to interacting with anyone, especially since your new haircut was the shortest it’s ever been ever. You just wanted to crawl inside a hole and never come out. You didn’t want to hear other people’s remarks on your hair, you didn’t want people to look at it. You didn’t want Mina to feel bad of course, but you couldn’t help but feel...not right.

“What the fuck is that?” You look up unfazed until you see Bakugou, the one that made your heart flutter when you looked at him, and your face flushing red as you stare at him, embarrassed as all hell when he points at Kirishima’s hat.

“What is what?” You ask, acting oblivious, but you can tell he can see through that.

“That, the ugly fuckin’ hat you have on. Take it off.”

“No can do, Baku-kun,” you reply, nonchalant.

“Well why the hell not?” His temper shows when he doesn’t get his way.

“Because.” You look down at your desk.

“You shitty fucking woman.” You look up at him again, bored, before you start tapping your finger on the desk repeatedly. “If you don’t take Shitty Hair’s hat off right now I will rip it off of your head.”

How did he know it was Kirishima’s hat? You finally give in, not wanting him to pull your hat off without giving him a warning for what he might see. 

You moan in defeat, sitting up. “Mina. She burned my hair with her quirk so I had to cut it.”

“I said sorry!” Mina chimes in. You acknowledge her for a moment, then turn back to Bakugou.

“Lemme see,” he says softly, which surprises you and makes your pulse stutter, but you won’t give up so easily.

“No.”

He tilts his head, giving you a glare that makes you think he actually might take your hat off forcibly. Ok, so you may give up a little easily. You sigh and slowly take off your hat. Kirishima watches from afar, smiling widely while he hits Kaminari and Sero with the back of his arm, catching their attention to face you. 

Your hair is revealed, and all Bakugou can do is stare. Just- stare. You regret coming to class. You stand up, making your chair screech on the floor before grabbing your bag, mumbling curses to yourself before heading out. Before you could close the door, though, you felt your arm being tugged back into the classroom. Your head whips around to see Bakugou having the same distraught, shocked expression on his face- almost looked like disbelief.

“What? Leave me alone.” You try to pull your arm back before Bakugou uses his other hand to grab your same arm, his expression not faltering. “What the hell is your problem? It’s short, yeah, I get that. You don’t need to rub it in my face.” You look away. Of course he would have that reaction. He thought you were ugly. 

Mina’s face falters, turning into a frown, sad for you and also mad at herself. Kirishima took notice and gave her a reassuring look.

“You look-” Bakugou fails to get a sentence out, stumbling on his words.

“I look what. Just say it already.”

“Fucking beautiful.” Your head shoots up, and everyone in the back of the class silently cheers while they await your response. You hear a couple gasps in the background, but don’t pay attention when you tilt your head in confusion.

“W-what?” You furrow your eyes, completely taken by surprise. 

Bakugou’s eyes widen for a second before returning to normal, letting go of your rights. He clears his throat as he turns away with a blush. “I said you look beautiful. Got a problem?” 

You look around the room, seeing everyone’s expression. Everyone- mostly everyone- was smiling towards you too, like they have been waiting for it to happen. Mina nods at you, nudging you on. Kirishima winks at you, pointing his head at Bakugou, who is currently facing the door frame. You look back at him, realizing how flustered he is. You smile. So- he didn’t think you were ugly? He thought you were beautiful. *He* thought you were beautiful. Short hair and all. Wow. 

“No. I don’t.” He looks at you with shock, not expecting that answer. 

“Good. Now don’t ever wear Shitty Hair’s hat ever again,” he tries to pull off. With that, he takes the hat of your head and chucks it at Kirishima, who catches it then laughs, giving everyone else the queue to start bombarding you with compliments and questions.

Having short hair may not be so bad.

REQUESTS:OPEN

[shima-draws]

CRASHES INTO YOUR INBOX what is going ON in the Bottled Soul AU how did Deku get in there?? Why is he in there?? Todoroki's his protector? I WANT DEETS

Lucky for you I already wrote out most of the details uvu so here you go!

-Izuku received OFA his second year of middle school

-He’s been working with All Might as the anonymous hero Deku ever since

-Izuku went straight into training instead of high school so he learned a lot faster how to use his quirk than in canon, and got training from Gran Torino super early on

-By his second year of high school, Izuku was pretty close to being on pro level

-A huge accident with a villain (Maybe AFO?) caused Izuku to get fatally injured and put into a state of near-death

-Chances were he’d never wake up again. He was pronounced officially brain dead with no response

-All Might was absolutely DEVASTATED and said if Izuku died here there would be no hope for heroes ever again

-A person with a soul manipulating quirk was brought in to assess the damage. Their quirk allows them to mess around with souls, take them out of bodies, put them into other bodies, etc.

-They said there was no response from Izuku’s soul at all either. Said that the only chance he had was to have his soul taken out and exposed to a “caretaker”, but it had to be somebody he didn’t know in order not to be influenced by those people’s already existing opinions/views of him, especially since he’s starting from zero and has no memories, no personality, and basically no substance. They said Izuku had to rebuild himself from scratch by himself, with support from somebody who could take care of him and encourage him, someone with a lot of empathy and kindness

-The soul quirk user said they could put Izuku’s soul in a bottle—that bottle would have to be handled by the caretaker and protected by them 24/7. All Might, Nedzu, and Aizawa immediately agree it should probably be one of the students, preferably someone from Class 1-A (Class 2-A now since they’re in their second year) so Aizawa could keep an eye on Izuku’s soul that way

-Bakugou is brought up—who hasn’t seen Izuku since middle school (but things were kinda cleared up between them back then after Izuku got his quirk, because he became known as Deku and Bakugou obviously influenced that). He could be a potential problem bc of his rocky relationship with Izuku and could essentially ruin the whole operation. They debate on bringing him into it, and decide to do it

-Bakugou is brought in to see Izuku and kind of has a breakdown. He’s mellowed out by now and feels kinda shitty for how he treated him back in middle school, and hates seeing him like this. He agrees to stay out of it as much as possible and not influence the development of Izuku’s soul

-Everyone agrees to give the bottle with Izuku’s soul in it to Todoroki, because 1. He’s the strongest in the class and the most capable of protecting both himself and the bottle, 2. He’s also mellowed out a lot since their first year and is pretty friendly to everyone, and 3. This will be a good test for him, to teach him how to open up to other people so they can open up to him, since he still has some trust issues here and there. And they truly believe he’ll be able to be a positive influence on Izuku

-All Might calls Todoroki out of class one day and gives him the bottle, tells him to protect it with his very life if he has to (but don’t die protecting it please) and keep it with him as much as possible. Todoroki questions but All Might won’t give him many more details than that, so he reluctantly agrees

-Todoroki can tell the instant the bottle is handed over to him that it’s something VERY important and special. He can feel the energy vibrating within it. It looks kind of like green electricity and magic

-He takes it back to class and literally everybody is like WHAT IS THAT and Todoroki already feels insanely protective of it and doesn’t let any of them touch it

-The first night he takes it back to his dorm and talks to it a bit. He can almost swear it’s reacting

-Over the next few days Todoroki keeps watching over it and talking to it whenever he can. Finally one night it answers him and he flips his shit because THE BOTTLE CAN TALK

-Slowly but surely Izuku starts to speak and learn more words and sound more like himself. Class 2-A goes nuts over it and Bakugou pretends like he doesn’t care but he DOES. As Izuku interacts with more and more people he regains more and more of his regular personality, and eventually becomes a total chatterbox. Todoroki finds it endlessly endearing

-Todoroki corners All Might one day and demands details, because really he can’t go this far and gotten to know Izuku this much without answers. All Might eventually reveals that someone very important is in the bottle, but they need his help to heal. Todoroki agrees he’ll keep talking to Izuku and bringing him to class and teaching him things. And protecting him, of course!

-Almost a year passes in this manner, with Izuku recovering more and more thanks to Todoroki’s influence. They start falling in love with each other

-Once Izuku has nearly reached full recovery, he starts “blacking out” and not responding to Todo for a few hours. This is because his soul has recovered well enough to go back into his body, and his body keeps trying to call it back. Todo does not know this tho and FREAKS out and gets terrified he’s going to lose Izuku for good

…And that’s all I’ve written for it so far NGMSNGMS but obviously it’s going to end happily with Izuku ending up back in his body, meeting Todoroki officially, and them getting together >:’) All of Class 2-A comes to see him too bc they p much spent a whole year with him in class so!!

[redrose-arrow]

Duncan x Halt anon back here again to elaborate on some other points!!! Firstly I’d like to say: TY FOR LISTENING TO MY RANTING MWAH MUCH LOVE <3 AND TO THE QPR CROWLEY/HALT/DUNCAN ANON: GALAXY BRAIN TAKE IM SO INVESTED IN HEARING MORE (particularly about Halt working for morgarath before meeting Crowley and Duncan......I GASPED WHEN I READ THAT. ITS SUCH AN AMAZING IDEA)

ANYWAY TO THE ELABORATION: The thing about Halt & Duncan, AKA the Thing that gave me the ship idea, is that Duncan seems to find Halt’s disregard for authority more amusing than anything. In one of the Brotherband books there’s this exchange between Duncan, a few of the Brotherband members, & Gilan:

“And if you think these two are bad, you should see Halt. He’s a senior Ranger and he shows no respect for me at all.”

“That’s not quite true, sir,” Gilan interjected. “He has enormous respect for you, so long as you agree with him.”

“Yes. That’s true. [...] Alright,” [Duncan] said at length, “let me think about what we’ve discussed here.” He looked at Gilan. “I’m still inclined to the idea of sending you with some reasonable force.”

Gilan shrugged. “That’s all right, sir. You’ll soon see the light of reason.”

Duncan sighed. “I suppose so.”

So the whole “we know better than you” thing the Rangers have going on doesn’t bother Duncan enough for him to get upset about it—I think it’s like a joke between all the Rangers and Duncan, that they (Halt especially) serve the King in an official capacity, but beyond that they’ll basically just do whatever the hell they want because 1) they’re skilled enough & smart enough to do it, and 2) Duncan knows that whatever they’re doing it’s for a good reason, and ultimately it’ll turn out better for everyone. And I think Rangers are quite high-ranking, actually, if they answer ONLY to the king (are they above barons? It’s not clear but it feels like they’re definitely up there), so all of that combined means that Rangers in general would get a lot more leeway from the king than a knight or even a baron might get. And Halt isn’t just any Ranger, he’s one of the twelve who helped Duncan regain control of his kingdom & win a war against Morgarath (TWICE), AND if I’m pairing this with my AU where Duncan knows Halt is ex-royalty then Duncan beyond a doubt sees the man as an equal—though I‘d say he sees him as an equal regardless of whether or not he knows about his royal background specifically because of all the crap he’s let Halt get away with lmao. We also saw in the infamous banishment scene, Duncan was more than willing to let Halt off the hook, but his chamberlain insisted that the rules be upheld for the sake of preserving his authority; which is obviously what Halt was banking on. So essentially it seems to me like Halt and Duncan are very good friends but they can’t make it LOOK like they’re friends (or make it look like Duncan doesn’t mind Halt doing questionable stuff) for the sake of appearances or whatever, so in public they’ll act their part of royal-leader-and-loyal-follower but behind closed doors it’s no harm, no foul. (Duncan gives off the vibe of like, someone who has to ACT formal to uphold tradition but really doesn’t care either way? Like someone who maybe didn’t want to be king in the first place but stepped up because it was expected of him & there was no one better to take the throne, but because he was never 100% invested in being king he doesn’t care about the etiquette or whatever—which is what I’d imagine Halt would’ve been like as a king BUT THAT’S A WHOLE OTHER STORY, MOVING ON) Halt will do a bunch of illegal sh*t and Duncan will look the other way because by now, he knows the man well enough to know that he’s doing it for a good cause and his methods may be questionable but he gets 👏 it 👏 DONE. And really, who is he to get in the way of good results? (I mean, he’s the king, but whatever. Halt can get good results without TOO much chaos so it’s all fair game, as far as Duncan’s concerned)

That’s not to say Halt doesn’t respect Duncan at all—Duncan’s put his foot down on a few occasions, most notably when it comes to his family. Whenever it’s a matter of keeping Cassandra or even the late Queen Rosalind safe, he was very firm in his instructions about keeping them safe and the Rangers never defied his orders when his back was turned. They may have negotiated or tried to reason with him, but he had the final say and they all (Halt included) respected it. So there’s just a lot of mutual respect & understanding abt where they stand with one another and I just LOVE IT SO MUCH THEYRE GREAT

ANYWAY WANNA HEAR ABOUT MY HC OF WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HALT’S SISTER DIES AND DUNCAN FINDS OUT BEFORE HIM BC WHENEVER SOMEONE ROYAL DIES THE NEIGHBOURING KINGDOMS ARE ALERTED????

(I've said it before and I'll say it again: it's Duncan-dealing-with-his-Rangers-appreciation time).

I wanted to post this right away because it plays into @vilewile 's reblog of your earlier ask but to be quite honest I am rather speechless and overwhelmed and processing but it's only because it's all so good???? You made me go from 1 to 10 on the shipping scale with two asks and now I cannot let go. Imma need to come up with my own headcanons soon........

about that last thing in all caps - ANON I LITERALLY SCREAMED WHEN I READ THAT OF COURSE I WANT TO HEAR THAT

and of course you're more than welcome!!! I genuinely love reading these all and I'm honoured that my inbox is your outlet ahaha :)

[pabosontheloose]

Work For You (Baekhyun)

WC: 3.0k

TW: None? Neglect?

“Baby?” Baekhyun’s loud, cheerful voice rang throughout the apartment, the sound being followed by his shoes clunking on the floor as he took them off. 

“I’m in the kitchen!” you called back, one hand still stirring the hot milk inside the pot while the other was turning off the heat. From behind, Baekhyun came up and wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing his chest against your back. Immediately, his cologne filled the atmosphere, easing your shoulders as he planted a light kiss on your cheek. 

“Hey Cutie, whatcha makin’?” he asked into your ear, eyes peering down at the pot that had steam emitting from it.

“Some hot chocolate, I figured you’d want some after a long day. Go sit.” you asked, to grab the two cups that were on the counter. You can hear the little claps of his hands behind you as he moved to sit on at the table. Unbeknownst to you as you were carefully pouring hot milk into two mugs, he was sitting with his cheek resting on his palm, eyes hooded and lips pulled into a smile that he couldn’t stop if he tried.

He was silently observing you move around. His heart was pounding in his ears as he watched you simply place the pan into the sink and grab two spoons from the rack. When you turned around, he grinned and reached out to grab one of the two mugs in your hands so you can settle down on the chair next to him.

“How was the studio?” you asked. Your legs came up to cross themselves under the table, carefully blowing on your beverage to cool it down. He went to stir the chocolate in his cup before looking at you.

“We’re planning on recording a new solo album. We sampled a few sounds today. At some point Chanyeol came in to help out. My ass is so sore from sitting all day.” he whined a  little, lips pulled out into a small pout before he carefully took a sip.

“Oh a new album? That’s so exciting! What’s it about?” you asked, leaning in. He made a motion of zipping his lips and locking it with a smile, shaking his head.

“I can’t leak that information baby, tsk tsk, you should know better than that. Let’s go cuddle on the couch.” he went to stand up and followed you to the living room where the two of you turned on the TV and set it onto a random show. Although neither of you were paying any attention as little kisses were stolen from time to time during the conversations that were had.

_______________

From: Baek the loml 💓

- Baby do u think u can bring some lunch to the studio today?

- Manager is having all of us stay late today 

- And i wanna see your pretty face before it gets dark outside 😍

From: You

- You’re just using me for my incredibly amazing cooking at this point 🙄

- But sure

- What do u want to eat?

- Also im bringing u a salad

- Bc whenever u prepare for a new album u keep saying u need to stay in shape for the performances

From: Baek the loml 💓

- Anything would be fine

- No cucumbers in the salad tho pls

- AND NO 

- im not dating u bc of your cooking

- Its bc of your 🍑

- 😜

From: You

- extra cucumbers in the salad got it

- see you in a little bit!

When you arrived at the building, security allowed you to go in and the receptionist directed you to the room that Baekhyun was working in. When you arrive at the door, you can faintly hear the music lulling in the room. The rhythm of it was soothing and you were just tempted to open the door and listen but you knew he was excited for this album, so your knuckles came up to the door and knocked.

Immediately, the music was turned off and you can hear someone getting up and rushing to the door. 

Baekhyun’s face lit up once he saw you and urged you into the room, giving your cheek a lingering peck. You greeted his manager who was sitting on the couch going through some of the music sheets. He got up and greeted you back then headed towards the door, saying he needed to go talk to someone regarding the tune of the song and lyrics. 

You settled the bag onto his desk as the two of you sat down. He immediately went to grab the utensils before chowing down.

He, as he said, came home late that night but you didn’t mind. He did let you know about it anyway, so you were able to sleep soundly knowing he was working hard for his fans. 

Several days after that were just the same. He was held back until around the same time as last night, but you had nothing to worry, he sent you a message to let you know. When he came home, he answered your conversation pieces with little hums here and there to let you know he was listening, but you knew he was tired. The shine in his eyes wasn't as bright as before. So, you found a way to fizzle out the conversation by saying you were going to brush your teeth for the night. When you came out of the bathroom, he was already knocked out on the bed. It was endearing to see him curled up, one arm stretched out to where your side was. You carefully slid next to him and could feel his hand grab onto your side as tightly as it could in its subconscious state.

This cycle continued until the “I’m going to be home late” messages stopped altogether. You just went about your day working and then cleaning the apartment before shooting him a couple of messages asking if he wanted you to bring anything so he stays healthy. He responded to the ones he could and then it was just you for the rest of the evening. No message from him about when he was able to come home.

This continued onto the next day.

And the next.

And the next.

At some point, your inbox was just a string of messages from you, and a few responses here and there. But it didn’t discourage you from worrying about him. The way the door of the apartment opened later later during the night, the way he’d silently peck your cheek before moving onto the shared bed and immediately falling asleep, the way the bags under his eyes slowly got more and more prominent; Noticing all of that, and more, made you uneasy. Your brain was throwing up signals to talk to him, reach out to his members, anything to make sure that he was eating well and taking breaks.

Your messages were always read by him, but never replied to. The meals you left in the microwave for him stayed untouched and on better days they were eaten but not entirely. 

This is okay, he’s going to be okay, just a few more weeks until he finalizes the album. Just a few more weeks until he’s able to come home early. Just a few more weeks until he can be in your arms again. You deal with this even if it’s difficult because you care for him so much. 

You tried to ignore the loud silence of the apartment with him being gone for so long. Even the noise from the TV didn’t block out how alone you feel. You’re staring at it but the show isn’t registering, too deep in your thoughts, too tired yet unable to fall asleep until you know he’s home safe. 

________________

Yes, you realized that he hadn’t invited you to the building, but after several weeks of not letting you know if he’s okay or if he’s been taking care of himself, you had to see for yourself. You’ve had enough of feeling his back against your own during the few hours of sleep he got when he came home, enough of sleepily watching his figure leave the apartment in the early mornings. 

And it was a good day today; your design was chosen at the company you work for which was going to take your position to a new step. Also you were the 100th customer at a new coffee shop close to the apartment, so they gave you an extra cup of coffee and pastry on the house. You wanted to share the news with Baekhyun, so why not drop in to see him.

“(Y/n), what are you doing here?” was the first question that left his mouth when he saw you, eyes widening a little bit to make sure he was seeing right. His hair was all messy (you suspected from running his hair through it while trying to figure something out with the songs and schedule but you didn’t comment on it) and he looked a bit irritated. Your head tilted to the side in question as he looked over your form standing in front of him.

“I just wanted to drop by to see if you were okay. We haven’t had some time for ourselves in a while, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” you gave him a smile. One that would usually have him melting just at the sight of it. 

But he didn’t melt. Not today at least. All he could think of was that the song had to come out perfectly and your presence here was at such an inconvenient time.

“(Y/n) we haven’t had time because I’ve been busy. I’ve told you this. I can’t make a mistake on this song, okay? Please go home, I’ll be back later.” he tried to brush you off and went to shut the door but you stopped it with your elbow, causing him to look back at you. 

“What time?” you questioned, keeping your voice leveled. You weren’t mad at him, but a little bit in disbelief. Here you were trying to make sure he was okay, (clearly he wasn’t since he looked exhausted as hell) and he was trying to push you away.

“What?”

“What time will you be home?”

“God, I don’t know (Y/n). Late. Please don’t wait up for me.” he sighed, scratching his temple in frustration. The action causes you to sigh too before finding the words to speak up.

“I just wanted to make sure this album wasn’t destroying your health.” you mumbled, your words not coming out as strong as you had hoped it would. He narrowed his eyes at how you phrased your sentence.

“No. The album has to be great. It has to be up to my standards. And right now, it’s still missing something. I was just about to figure it out until you interrupted. Please go home. We can talk about this later.” he replied. You let out another hard sigh before lifting your hands and giving him the coffee and pastry that you got.

“Here. I got a free order earlier and I wanted you to eat something since it didn’t seem like you were eating much at home. I’ll see you later.” you grumbled as he took the food. When he did, you quickly turned around and headed towards the elevator. Just before the doors closed, you could see him still standing at the door, staring at you, as if something clicked in his head.

You didn’t see him attempt to take a step towards the elevator too but his manager called him back into the room to finalize the lyrics. As he sat down, he opened the paper bag to see his favorite little pastry cake, and noted on the details of the cup that you got his order just right. 

It was as if something knocked him on the head for him to finally understand the position he left you in for the past several weeks. He finally got a clear look in the mirror to see how dark the bags on his eyes had gotten and how his hands slightly shook when he set an alarm for 6PM on his phone under the note “Go home to my Baby”. That day he ordered a good meal during lunch, ate it all, and the thought of coming home to you gave him the drive to complete the lyrics before he was rushing to get to his car at 5:45.

Even if he knew he was in trouble, he still found the shocked look on your face amusing (and really cute but that’s for another day when you’re not passively mad at him) when he came through the door an hour later, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in one hand while the other carried a bag of take-out.

“Okay, I’m not home as late as I said I was going to be, but, I got us food.” he held up the bag, and with a smile, “And this, for you.” he held out the bouquet. You got off the couch to grab the flowers to place in a vase as he sets the bag down onto the coffee table. 

The silence radiation off of you made him nervously chuckle.

“Good news, I finally nailed the song. It’s at Baekhyun standards now. Now we only have to worry about the scheduling for after it’s released but that shouldn’t be a problem.” he tried to cool you off with a few laughs here and there but when you gave nothing back, he started to worry.

“Baby?” he began, “I’m sorry for pushing you away earlier. I realized I was an asshole the moment that elevator door closed.”

“Baekhyun, that’s not the point. The point is that you got so far into your work that you start to neglect everything around you and yourself.” you finally let out after all the weeks of keeping it in for the sake of his work. He silently stared at you, the look in his eyes made you want to engulf him in the tightest hug but you held yourself strong.

“I love you but it was just so hard to see you work yourself so much for this particular album.” you sighed. You don’t notice it but the corner of his lips slightly curled up into a smile as your sentence reminded him of why he worked so hard.

“I haven’t seen you tire yourself out so much before and I was truly scared that you might pass out from the lack of sleep. What makes it so different from the other albums? It’s going to turn out so great because it’s you who made it and your amazing fans will give it the recognition it deserves and why are you smiling when I’m trying to be serious?” you asked him, voice exasperated from trying to keep your thoughts straight but seeing that smile on his face brought back the warmth within yourself. 

“(Y/n), I was gonna keep it a surprise for when the album releases, but now is a good time too…” he started off, grabbing your hands and immediately intertwining with your fingers as a way to start his apology. Your eyes looked up into his in anticipation, waiting for him to continue his sentence.

“I dedicated the new album to you.” the little grin that graced his face after he said that made your heart drop.

“What?” you managed to work out, feeling mist start over your eyes as you waited for him to confirm his sentence.

“The new album that I’ve been working on...it’s dedicated to you. I’m really sorry I haven’t been giving you the attention and love you deserved. I was too focused on trying to make the song perfect so that you’d love it. But in the process of trying to make you feel appreciated through a song, I forgot to appreciate you in real life.” his voice slowly died down towards the end of his sentence. He was going to continue but before he could you launched yourself at him and buried your face in the crook of his neck. The little sniffles he heard was enough to let him know that he was forgiven and he quickly wrapped his arms around your frame, holding you closer than before.

“I’m sorry I got upset, I-”

“No baby, you don’t have to apologize at all. You’ve been trying to take care of me all this time and I took that for granted. From this point on, I’m going to give back to you as much as you give to me.” he was planting kisses on your forehead as he spoke, making sure you understood him as he spoke softly to you. 

Sometime during this intimate moment, he had brought the two of you to settle down on the couch. He held you by your waist on his lap, your thighs on either side of his while you were still hugging him with your face to his chest.

“Since we’re here now, is there anything I can do to make it up to you, Love?” he asked once you pulled away to look at him. One of his pretty hands came up to caress your flushed cheek, resting his thumb there for a second longer, further adding onto the intimate moment you two were in.

“Can I hear the song?” you asked, eyes batting in hope that he’d give you a small version of it but he only chuckled, the other hand squeezing your side as he shook his head.

“Oh baby…of all the things in this world that I can give you, the song is the one you’ll have to wait for.”

[MASTERLIST]

[knitmylove]

hii <3 !!

i was tagged by @heartbeating @moasgf @curryaboo @quanxui @flowerkth @bwaldorf @futuristiclovezone95 @furore-careo @gildee @declanlynch @morallyambiguous @thisloveis-worththefight thank you so much!!! 💓💞💕

what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

- minnie

when is your birthday?

- oct 3 <3

relationship status

- single :3

time

- 11:45 pm

three favorite foods

- corn soup, masala rice, palak paneer <3

last song i listened to

- glow at the velocity of light by riko azuna

song stuck in my head

- love anthem by honeyworks feat. meychan & gero

last thing i googled

- toji fushiguro :>>

dream trip

- all over asia!

i want

- to sleep ◡ _ ◡

where do you live?

- india

three things you're doing right now?

- answering these questions, listening to music and talking to my mom

recommed a movie

- ride your wave! i have watched this movie so many times and cry the fuck out of myself. but it's really beautiful oh also josee, the tiger and the fish,,, and children of the sea. these are some of the most beautiful animated movies for me <33 bucket list and hellaro. i love these movies lmao i can make a list now

how old are you?

- 18! soon 19 <3

do you prefer hot or cold?

average (?)

are you shy?

- depends ig

do you have any preferred pronouns?

- she / her <3

any pet peeves?

- walking into my room with the door closed and leaving without closing it and talking during a movie.

what's your favorite "dere" type?

- hmm somewhere between deredere and kuudere

rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

- 4 and a half maybe? i haven't slept well in weeks bc of uni work, life sucks rn as im trying to get thru each day but i will be fine! 😤 hopefully it will be 7 soon <3 oh im finally doing these tag games so maybe 5 hehe

what's your main blog?

- this one!

list your side blogs and what they're used for.

- @honeymeh for animanga stuff, i occassionally post my colorings there :]

is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

- i'm gonna annoy you by messaging literally about anything out of nowhere lmao so heads up there and if we have same interests, im gonna scream in your inbox all the fucking time about that thing 💃🏽

about my url

- i actually wanted lovesoup but it was already taken by someone BUT luckily lovedsoup was available so 🥰

favorite color

- okay tbh i have many colors most of them are pastels and warm colors 🧦💛🌷🌂🧶📜

last movie

- gintama: the final :')

currently watching

- hometown cha cha cha, squid game, be your self, re-main, op, blue period

currently reading

- psychology in indian tradition,,, does this count??

zodiac sign

- libra ⚖️

favorite hot beverage

- lemon honey tea

favorite cold beverage

- coffee

favorite flower

- jasmine

top 5 on repeat songs

- aono waltz by eve

- pride kakumei by chico with honeyworks

- morning by ame no parade

- one flower, one sword by li xingyi

- rangi saari by kanishk seth & kavita seth

tagging: @ anyone who'd like to do this!

[keylimejuice]

( I'M BACK, WITH QUESTIONS FOR THE AWESOME GROOVY GREAT KEY! )

Besides sucky astral being “dads” afdghjds What Zexal other characters do you really dislike? (or are indifferent towards, if dislike is too strong)

EY THE YUMA/III/ASTRAL AS BROTHERS HC WAS CUTE AF, ANY OTHER WHOLESOME IDEAS LIKE THAT?

And finally~

What was a moment in the series you hated, but understood why it was necessary? Alternatively: what was a moment in the series you loved but didn't know why it was necessary?

this sat in my inbox for MONTHS ;v; i’m so sorry Blue! but i’m finally answering it eueueueuur

1. what zexal characters do you really dislike/are indifferent towards? (other than don thousand and eliphas)

HMMM cathy and flip. cathy bc i find the neko girl thing in anime annoying in general and she just irks me, and flip because well, he’s f l i p. outside of eli and don i don’t think anyone else really made me mad all that much!!!

2. other wholesome ideas??

HMMMM i want to think the barians all live together and repair the twins’ rundown mansion into something liveable. also kaito finally gets to take a break and sleep for once in years :’D and that haruto and astral are really close friends! they call themselves brothers (blue hair, golden eyes)

3. a moment in the show that i hated but knew was necessary AND a moment that i loved but found unnecessary

i HATED astral’s second death. absolutely rocked my shit when i reached episode 111. i knew he was going to die, the death flags were too high and i watched zexal as a kid so i knew astral was going to kick it. but the way he went out was so violent like man :(( messed me up for months that i couldn’t even look at the word ‘astral’ without feeling sick. it was necessary bc if astral didn’t take the hit, yuma would be dead. the greater effect was that yuma needed motivation to finally cross into astral world, confront eliphas once and for all, and set the plan of sparing chaos (and eventually barian world) into motion. i just hated how it was executed eueueu ;v;

i loved the ending BUT IT’S SO BITTERSWEET LIKE U G H. everyone knew astral and yuma were to part ways someday but that still didn’t make it sad nonetheless. why was it necessary for astral to RETURN TO HIS AWFUL PRICK OF A FATHER AT THE END?!! like yeah, they’re getting along now but that still doesn’t excuse eliphas’ past actions. and yuma’s left all alone like ueururu astral come home :( go back home

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ASKS BLUE they’re always fun to answer <33

[c0rpsedemon]

i am curious, as someone who’s only exposure to arthurania was reading jane yolen’s young merlin as a child, would you mind saying why hnoc is a bad adaptation? i’m super curious but no worries if not <3

this has been sitting in my inbox for months bc i kept telling myself i needed to write a full essay with proof from medieval lit to make myself feel smarter.  however, since i’ve recently lost all credibility bc i can’t articulate points to save my life, and since i’ve realized that i could answer this in a just a couple paragraphs, now seems like the right time to answer this ask. sorry for the wait.

under a cut bc length

also warnings for mentions of racism bc this is hnoc we're talking abt and sexual assault bc this is med lit we're also talking abt

the basic problems are pendragon polycule itself, the story beats of the album, the fridging and lack of characterization of morgan le fay, the clear influence of pop culture arthuriana, and whatever the fuck happened with gawain/e.

pendragon polycule is... just not a good take.  there’s a bit in the lancelot-grail abt arthur viewing lancelot like a son (and lancelot not giving a shit abt him).  also arthur knew his parents for years before lancelot was even born.  plus lancelot just Doesn’t care abt him and i can’t stress this part enough.  arthur repeatedly tries to have guinnevere killed, mostly in the lancelot-grail, and guinn didn’t really have any say in marrying him bc she was a teenager.  lancelot and guinnevere is a lot better but that’s not saying much.  guinn doesn’t exactly treat lancelot too well... like at all, BUT it’s not intrinsic to their relationship and is completely caused by medieval misogyny and i’m all in favor of modern retellings saying fuck that.  but also lancelot has multiple pseudo-canon boyfriends (this is med lit after all), and one pseudo-canon husband so like... there were better options.  (also lancelot’s husband is basically in a lavender marriage with guinnevere’s maybe girlfriend who most authors just eventually forget abt as the story progresses).

this next one is a problem with a lot of modern arthurian works bc the inclusion of elayne of astolat is too much to ask apparently.  the grail quest isn’t tied to the fall of camelot, it just happens to be one of the last grand adventures the knights of the round table have.  the event that traditionally sets off the fall is the death of the maiden of astolat/the lady of shalott/elayne of escolat/she has a lot of names, her story has a few variations but usually she either is cursed to stay in a tower and weave and only be able to see the outside world through a mirror positioned across from her window, until lancelot rides by and she rushes to see him out of the actual window and her mirror shatters, setting off her death, or she lives with her father and brothers and takes care of lancelot bc he was injured for a time and she gets to go on adventures to find him and she’s friends with gawaine and she dies bc lancelot rejects her and this version’s a lot more fun but also more happens which makes it harder to explain.  the way her story ends however, is that she dies after she makes arrangements for a glorious boat to drift from astolat to camelot carrying nothing but her dead body and a letter explaining that she died of love for lancelot du lac and the court mourns the death of such a beautiful and young maiden (her age varies a lot but i’ve always read her as a young teenager at most).  but the important thing is, camelot is doomed from the moment she washes up on its shore bc she’s an omen of the end and has symbolic meaning and all that, the maiden of astolat washes up on camelot’s shores, the court mourns the loss of a maiden in her prime and she marks the end of camelot’s prime as well, morgan le fay reappears after being presumed dead and warns arthur of guinnevere and lancelot’s affair, aggravaine and modred conspire to bring lancelot and guinnevere’s affair to light, they succeed but lancelot escapes, guinnevere is to be burnt at the stake and lancelot rescues her, killing aggravaine, gaheris and gareth (gawaine’s brothers) in the process, gawaine drags his uncle and camelot to war bc he was driven mad due to the loss of his brothers, lancelot accidentally kills gawaine, his best friend and maybe boyfriend (i have RECEIPTS), and gawaine forgives him on his detahbed while lancelot and guinn rejoin arthur, meanwhile modred, who practically had the throne handed to him, usurps and invites the saxons in, camlann happens, and camelot is destroyed.  no where in there is the grail quest.

morgan le fay is honestly the most questionable part of the album bc there’s not a single text where she dies.  like....  at least with eurydice in udad she died in the original... there’s no basis for morgan dying.  also she is NOT modred’s mother and anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar, she interacts with him once in the vulgate bc she had three of her nephews over and that’s IT.  it’s a horrible take which originated in the mists of avalon by marion zimmer bradley who is an honest to god monster for reasons i don’t want to trigger tag this post for.  also she’s one of the most dynamic and thought-out characters in the entire canon and they just made her a watered down morgause (modred’s actual mother, morgan’s sister, canonical milf)... there was no reason for it to be her apart from the fact that she’s more well known......

pop culture arthuriana is,,, one of my least favorite things.  no, morgan wasn’t modred’s mother, no, morgause wasn’t abusive but her husband sure was implied to be, no, aggravaine didn’t kill his mother, that was gaheris, he loved his mother, you’re only saying that bc he has a reputation as the “evil” orkney, no, the once and future king is not a good descriptor for arthur, stop making me read it, no, morgause wasn’t the one to initiate the thing with arthur resulting in modred, no, lancelot and arthur weren’t friends, no, tristan wasn’t a self-centered asshole, tennyson is a fucking liar, no, galahad didn’t have sex or want to, he’s one of the first ever explicitly asexual characters out there, no, galahad’s conception was NOT consensual, lancelot was tricked, and no, elayne of astolat wasn’t galahad’s mother, she’s implied to be younger than him.  those are just the big glaring ones, but i swear it’s bc of arthuriana’s reputation as a mythology and the connotations belonging to that word (no one true canon (which is true but there are still things that just AREN’T canon, not completely written down, passed by oral tradition) that causes ppl to see mediocre modern texts and go “oh. well this is abt as close to the original as i’m going to get” and don’t bother to look into so much as malory (who i only name bc he’s one of the most well known medieval authors with the most commonly used storylines, don’t read malory kids, he’s a mediocre-at-best writer even by medieval standards).  the big perpetrators of modern arthurian tropes are the books the once and future king by th wh*te, who is a shitty person and lets it bleed into his writing (which isn’t like... nice to read or anything, seriously why do ppl love this book so much it doesn’t have redeeming qualities), and the mists of avalon by marion zimmer bradley (it’s poorly written, the story is a mess, and mzb is honestly a monster and one google search will tell you that), and unfortunately the writings of tennyson, which are mostly good but he clearly didn’t read the povest (a later text that’s also my favorite, known for significantly improving ppl’s opinions on tristan, isolde and co.) before deciding he hated both tristan and isolde and he has HORRIBLE takes on them.  high noon over camelot is SEEPED in pop culture arthuriana and i think it would have been so much better if the band had read so much as a SUMMARY of the events of le morte.  it’s evident in the song “the once and future king” bc it’s,,,, literally named after one of the worst books in existence.  it’s shown in the morgan le fay thing, and it’s shown in the pendragon polycule thing.  and hell, i think you can even explain away the lack of elayne of astolat with pop culture arthuriana, bc ppl have had bad takes on her ever since th wh*te combined her character with that of ela*ne of corbenic, and the band probably went “huh, let’s write lancelot’s abuser out of this” and they would’ve been right to do so if that’s who elayne of astolat was.

the final big issue is gawaine, the closest thing the genre has to a protagonist, he’s pretty much canon bi and, in some texts, arospec, he’s a dashing knight of great reknown and he derails every romance to steal hearts, commit murder, and make out with every knight and lady mentioned.  and in hnoc he’s... racist.  that’s it.  it’s,,, almost completely unfounded by the arthurian canon and shows a major misunderstanding of his motivations (like i said earlier, he wants to avenge his brothers bc there’s a reoccuring motif of how much the orkneys value family).  i say almost bc in one text it’s his motivations for killing palomydes but i’ve never heard it mentioned by name bc that’s just what it’s known for.  most arthuriana fans just look away from it except when critiquing hnoc but that one text is an outlier, shouldn’t be counted, and i highly doubt the mechs made hnoc gawain how he is bc they found this text.  it’s just a bad text.

hnoc has,,, quite a few more minor issues, such as villainized ladies of the lake (their ONLY crimes were sealing away merlin bc he tried to assault teenage nimue/ninniane (proto-nimue/vivianne from the vulgate), and that one time vivviane/ninniane kidnapped adopted baby lancelot), assigning brain to merlin (y’know,,, the predator who helped arrange the [redacted] of arthur’s mother and tried to assault a teenager,,,) although merlin is portrayed in a positive light throughout modern arthuriana so i don’t think they knew, giving a song to pellinore, who my perception of has been forever altered bc i was introduced to him through malory and the explanation of torre’s conception, which you can just look up “sir torre arthurian” to find out abt if you can’t just Guess, if they wanted a song abt the questing beast palomydes was Right There AND has been associated with the questing beast for longer, but once again i don’t think they knew.

also namedropping a bunch of knights in the fiction is... it Suggests a bigger world full of all these other stories but they just don’t work bc the world of hnoc wasn’t designed in a way where the appearance of half these characters would make sense.  like,, tristan is referenced as dying in the grail quest in the same sentence as bedevere (one of the characters who is known for almost always surviving), but tristan Isn’t one of the knights who dies on the grail quest, his possible deaths (ignoring the potentially happy ending of the povest for a second) are either being murdered by his uncle, king mark (bc mark married tristan’s gf to try and get tristan killed and also to spite him), bc he was driven into a fury bc of tristan and isolde’s affair, or he’s injured and only isolde (the best healer in the world) can save him so he sends for her and if the ship he sent for her is supposed to fly white sails if she’s there, or black sails if she’s not, and the ship flies white sails but his wife (also named isolde) says it’s black sails (the why depends but usually comes down to jealousy), and so he gives up bc he thinks all hope is lost and usually succumbs to his injuries, either way isolde dies of a broken heart over his body.  there’s no way for the tristan and isolde story to play out like it’s supposed to in the world of hnoc, just as there’s no way for any story with gawaine (and Oh Boy are there a lot of stories with gawaine) or pretty much anyone else, without severely altering the canon.

of course, there are still parts of hnoc i like a lot, most of the music i adore and i just like the idea of space cowboys and the secret good hnoc that lives in my head.  and it has one of my favorite characterizations of galahad, even though galahad hnoc is nothing like galahad arthuriana.  it’s not GOOD but i like it and it’s fun to turn my brain off too, and i’ll always value it as my introduction to arthuriana.

also there are modern arthurian tropes i do like such as characters being genre-savvy/knowing they’re fictional/knowing they’ve done this before (which hnoc does wonderfully!) and bedevere-as-the-storyteller (everyone say thank you lord tennyson).

WOW that was longer than expected, i feel very passionately abt this, when i was planning to write a fully sourced essay i meant to include a bit at the bottom with recommendations to get into better arthuriana and i think i’ll keep that in this post.

if you like hnoc for the arthurian music i’d like to suggest heather dale’s arthurian music to you, she does occasionally fall into the trap of modern arthuriana (some parts of lancelot and arthur being close, morgan as modred’s mother), sometimes she’s just wrong (galahad at lancelot’s trial, a lot of tristan and isolde), and her stuff is kinda straightwashed sometimes (sir gawain and the green knight, for example) but i’d be lying if it wasn’t catchy, and it’s not quite as bad as hnoc adaptation-wise.  culwch and olwen is pretty accurate (albeit abridged bc culwch and olwen has SO many tangents), as is lily maid (it’s abt elayne of astolat!).

if you liked hnoc for king arthur... in space! then may i recommend to you my own fanfic? it's not posted yet but the second i finish writing the first chapter i'm going to make a Big Deal out of it that'll be impossible to miss!

if you want to learn abt arthuriana through tumblr-osmosis like i did at first, i’d like to recommend the love of my life @acegalahads, first and foremost (it’s me on a sideblog i’m just obsessed with myself), and i can’t recommend my arthuriana mutuals over there, @/gringolet, @/merlinenthusiast, @/jcbookworm, @/elayneofshalott, and @/elaineofascolat (the elayne urls have been popular recently), also i know for a fact that my mutual-in-law, @/itonje makes great arthuriana posts that i look forwards to whenever i open the tag.

here are a few good reference posts, a quick guide to the characters, a guide to characters of color, and a much more comprehensive intro to arthuriana post with even more texts linked to it.

if you want to ease into med lit, i’d like to introduce you to pre-raphaelite poetry, alfred lord tennyson and william morris are my favorites, although tennyson can’t be trusted with tristan and isolde.  the poem the lady of shalott is basically a rite of passage for arthuriana fans, although when it comes to tennyson’s writings abt elayne of astolat, i prefer lancelot and elaine, which is part of his much larger story, idylls of the king.  for morris, don’t trust what he says abt aggravaine killing his mother, but my favorites of his are sir galahad, a christmas mystery, which sounds like a shitty disney sequel, and palomyde’s quest, which i blame for my love of palomydes (that and the one bit of the povest where he asks tristan to be his greatest enemy and that he wants nothing more, gay ppl,,,,).

if you want to read abt lancelot and his husband, there’s the lancelot-grail cycle, which i believe was taken off of archive dot org and i think i found it on @/tobeisexhausting’s blog but don’t quote me on that.

the povest, which was a religious experience for me and i can’t reccomend enough if you want to like tristan and isolde, is here, i don’t know who scanned it but i think i found it on @/lanzelet’s blog

the dutch texts are just good in general, here’s a link to their section of a(n unfinished) site for hosting various texts by my former mutual @/reynier (who’s no longer on tumblr).  i’d like to recommend lancelot and the white hart specifically bc it’s mainly just just gawaine being gay for lancelot.

if you want older works, here’s my scan of the history of the kings of britain, and here’s culwch and olwen and pa gur.

oh wow this is even longer than i thought it would be so i’m going to wrap this up by saying that i always love to talk abt arthuriana more than anything if you have any questions or just are curious!

[littlespoonevan]

okay this took me forever bc i could not for the life of me think of a tattoo to cover up ian’s  that was actually like. nice but also relevant to monica (bc despite my feelings about her i don’t want to take that sentiment away). i’m happy with the one i chose though so hopefully you like it too <33

(quick reminder: i’m not accepting anymore prompts at the moment while i work on the ones in my inbox <3)

*

Ian is standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom brushing his hair back out of his face with a comb when he hears the water cut off in the shower. A moment later he’s on the receiving end of a damp side hug as Mickey winds the hand not holding up his towel around Ian’s waist to balance himself while he leans in to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Mm hey,” Mickey greets warmly and Ian pauses in his ministrations to smile at him in the mirror.

Dropping his comb, he turns and settles his hands on Mickey’s shoulders, absently massaging the divot of space beneath Mickey’s collarbones with his thumbs. “Hey. You doin’ anything today?”

He knows Mickey has the day off and days off for Mickey – especially rare weekday ones – usually result in him not surfacing from bed until at least 11:00 before he has a late breakfast and parks himself on the couch for the rest of the day. But today he’s already up and showered and it’s not even 10am. The way Mickey ducks his head when he asks the question also suggests he does have something on.

Which is a little weird – if only because Ian also has the day off since he’s changing rotation from days to nights this week.

“I, uh, I’ve got an appointment in a couple hours,” Mickey says evasively and Ian frowns.

Mickey only ever talks like this when his dad’s involved and Ian will shoot Terry himself if he’s after getting Mickey caught up in his shit again. “What kind of appointment?” he asks, not sure if he really wants to hear the answer.

Mickey must be able to tell where Ian’s mind goes though because he looks up and rolls his eyes. “A real appointment, dumbass,” he says. “At a tattoo parlour.”

Ian instantly feels himself relax and lets go of Mickey to put his comb back in the medicine cabinet next to his morning meds. “You getting a new tattoo?”

Mickey doesn’t answer right away and when he does the words are mumbled at a barely audible volume. “Fixing one actually.”

Ian pauses, turning around to face Mickey again. Mickey’s busying himself with tightening the towel around his waist, pointedly not looking in Ian’s direction. Ian takes the time to let his eyes drop to the tattoo sitting on Mickey’s chest before he steps forward again, brushing his fingers over Mickey’s forearm and coaxing his arms away from his torso. “Mick.”

Mickey looks up at him, letting Ian pull his arms around his waist and releasing a sigh that comes out more resigned than bashful. “Guess I figured since you’re stickin’ around I should probably make it look the way it’s supposed to.”

Ian smiles even though his heart squeezes a little painfully in his chest. He hates that he ever made Mickey doubt the fact he would stay. He reaches up, running the fingers of his left hand over his name. He does it on purpose so Mickey will see the wedding ring and remember. This is forever now. “Can I come with you?” he asks, looking up from Mickey’s chest to meet his gaze.

“Why?” Mickey says, shrugging like he doesn’t care but Ian can tell he probably does. “The guy said it shouldn’t take that long.”

“Well, if we’re in a fixing tattoos kinda mood maybe I should do something about the one on my back.”

Mickey’s face twists into a familiar grimace at the mention of the obnoxious boobs on Ian’s shoulder before going slack with surprise. “You’re gonna cover it up?”

It’s Ian’s turn to shrug. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I mean, I know Monica’d probably find it hilarious but it’s ugly as shit.”

Mickey snorts at that, a sort of no arguments from me, pal!

“And I’ve finally got enough money put away to afford to get something big enough to cover it. I could call and see if they can fit me in too?”

Mickey considers him for a moment before his mouth ticks up at the corners and his hands squeeze Ian’s hips. “Guess we got a date, Gallagher.”

*

They’re led into separate rooms when they get there. Mickey had already had a consultation but Ian hadn’t, not to mention the fact Ian’s is a significantly longer job than Mickey’s. He likes the idea he came up with though.

He’d started thinking about cover ups almost from the minute he’d gotten the tattoo but not only had it been too expensive, he’d also had no fucking idea what to get. He still wants it to be something for her because no matter how fucked up things got and no matter what she’s done, he still misses her. But as time passed the more he’d started to think maybe he wanted it to mean a little more than that too.

In the end he’d settled on something that he thought fit for both of them.

He’s had a general picture of what he’s wanted for a while now and when he shows it to the tattoo artist – Benny, his nametag says – he sketches a couple of his own mock-ups for Ian to choose from. It’s gonna take a couple of hours so he texts Mickey while Benny is prepping his shoulder and tells him he doesn’t need to hang around for him if he doesn’t want to.

Mickey texts him back a succinct, “Whatever, Gallagher,” and that’s the end of that until Mickey texts him again approximately forty-five minutes later, saying, “I’m gonna go get lunch, want me to bring you back something?”

Ian buries his smile against his arm where he’s got it braced in front of him in the chair and tries to remain completely still as he texts back.

Ian: My usual. Thank you <3

Mickey: Whatever

Mickey: <3

*

Mickey takes his time, obviously choosing to eat his own lunch at the mall and kill some time so Ian’ll be almost done by the time he comes back to the tattoo parlour. Ian hears the bell jangle above the door in the main room about five minutes before Benny finally sits back and says, “Okay, you’re all set.”

Ian relaxes in the chair before he remembers he hasn’t seen it yet. He extricates himself from the awkward position he’d been in for the past few hours and makes his way to mirror in the corner of the room, turning around and craning his neck. He catches sight of the corner of it before Benny appears next to him with a handheld mirror so he can get a better look.

It’s perfect.

Sure enough, Mickey’s waiting for him when he comes onto the main shop floor, lunch in hand, and Ian flashes him an affectionate smile before he goes up to the counter to pay.

Other than Mickey asking him again what he got and Ian telling him he’ll show him when they get home they don’t talk about their tattoos on the way home. Not that Ian can really think of much else – he’d been so anxious about covering up his own tattoo, he’d forgotten why they’d even come here in the first place. What Mickey did.

It’s a lot to process – the level of devotion that tattoo shows.

It’d felt like someone had taken a knife to Ian’s own chest when he’d first seen it. Like a giant declaration of all the ways Ian had fucked Mickey up. Now though, now Ian feels it for what it is. Unconditional love.

By some unspoken agreement they both head straight up the stairs when they get back to the house, following each other into the bedroom and closing the door behind them. When they’re stood face to face beside the bed Ian finally opens his mouth to speak.

“You first,” he requests quietly, the moment feeling oddly intimate as Mickey glances down, shrugging off his jacket before reaching for his t-shirt.

Ian watches with rapt attention as he pulls his shirt over his head, eyes zeroing in on Mickey’s chest as soon as he lets his arms fall back to his sides again. There’s tape over it but Ian can still see it clear as day. He lets out a breath and steps closer, fingers hovering above the letters. The extra “l” fits in seamlessly and other than the “h” being a little on the small side in order to make it fit, you’d never know it wasn’t there in the first place.

Ian looks up to find Mickey staring off to the side, a faint splotch of colour on his cheeks, and Ian bites down on a smile, carefully turning Mickey’s chin back towards him. “I love you,” he says softly, darting in to steal a kiss. It’s enough to make Mickey relax and lean into him, which is all Ian had wanted really.

“Alright, your turn,” Mickey says when he pulls back. “Enough with the secrecy bullshit.”

Ian huffs a laugh but obligingly steps back and pulls on the hem of his t-shirt. Once he gets it over his head he tosses it on the bed and turns around, feeling oddly nervous for Mickey’s reaction.

Mickey doesn’t say anything right away but after a beat Ian feels the gentle pressure of Mickey’s fingertips right around the outline of the tape and he knows what Mickey sees. A compass with a rope intricately woven around it.

“I wanted something for Monica but I wanted it to be for me too,” Ian explains, unprompted. He turns to face Mickey again and finds him watching him carefully, like he’s trying to work something out.

“I felt really fucking lost for a long time after everything that happened,” he continues quietly. It’s hard to look Mickey in the eye but he forces himself to anyway. “And I know I kinda have a habit of running away from my problems but…I always want to come home. To my family. To you.”

Mickey’s throat bobs at the last part, hands twitching for a moment at his sides before they reach up to land on Ian’s shoulders. “What’s it got to do with your mom?”

Ian gives him a half-hearted smile. “I looked it up; Monica means advisor.” He lets out bemused laugh, shaking his head. “She’s- She didn’t give me good advice,” he says seriously because if nothing else he wants to remind Mickey that he knows Monica played some role in their relationship ending all those years ago. “I know that now but- she did show me what I didn’t want my life to become.”

Mickey nods, expression softening like he understands.

“And…she was lost too,” Ian adds, blowing out a breath. “I don’t think she ever had anyone like you to remind her she had something worth coming back to.”

Mickey stares at him for a moment, a myriad of expressions flickering across his face before he cups Ian’s cheek. “She could’ve come back for you,” he says solemnly and Ian smiles, covering Mickey’s hand with his own.

“I know,” he murmurs. “We were never enough to make her stay though.” Ian presses his forehead against Mickey’s. “You make me want to stay.”

Mickey doesn’t say anything to that, just draws him into a kiss filled with surety and love. Ian wraps his arms around him and kisses back, pouring everything he has into it. Because really, in a lot of ways, Mickey should probably be the one with the compass tattoo considering all the times he’s managed to make his way back to Ian right when he’d needed him.

But he likes it. The past couple of years he feels like he’s found himself again. And in doing that he found Mickey again.

And he’s never, ever letting him go.

*

[ripley95]

Yay! I'm so excited you're doing a prompt list. How fun! Is it cheating to suggest three in one? Somehow first snow, hot chocolate, and ice-skating all go really well together in my mind. If it sounds like too much, though, just choose the one you like best. You know I love fShenko! Of course, if the prompt doesn't end up inspiring your muse or for any reason it doesn't work well, no pressure in not doing it. Anyway, I'm excited too where you go with possible prompts!

I don't think it's cheating at all to ask for three, and I appreciate the challenge! I already had an idea for first snowfall for f!Shenko, though, so I wasn't entirely able to incorporate the ice skating into that, but it's kind of in there. Thank you so much for sending the prompt! It meant so much to me to see it in my inbox!

-

Finding Peace

Pairing: F!Shepard/Kaidan Alenko

Word Count: ~2100

Summary: Shepard has seen snow before, but it's always been ground side while on missions. Having grown up in space, she's never had the chance to truly appreciate it until now.

Read it on AO3

-

Shepard awoke to her room which was still in a dark haze. There was a noticeable lack of warmth by her side, prompting her to rub her eyes and look over to Kaidan's side of the bed. He was already awake, standing by the window, pulling the curtains back ever so slightly in a way that she couldn't see what he was looking at. Light washed over his face as he was squinting out the window, implying that it must already be morning.

"Everything all right?" she asked as she adjusted herself to sit up in the bed.

He promptly let go of the curtain, taking away the only sliver of light, painting the room in a dull grey. It was still bright enough to make out the smile on his face as he turned to her.

"Yeah, everything's fine," he said with a smile as he came to sit on the bed. "I was just waiting for you to wake up."

"Oh, and why's that?" she asked playfully.

"Do you trust me?" he asked, his grin still not fading.

She looked over to him and matched his smile. "I don't know. If you have to ask me if I trust you, that brings up a certain amount of suspicion."

He shook his head at her before he stared at her in wait for a serious response.

"Oh, come on, I think you know I trust you. The question is, why are you asking?"

"Well... It's the weekend. We don't have anywhere to be, and I uh... there's just something I want to show you."

The weekend. That was still a concept she was getting used to. Getting to go home at the end of the day working for Hackett ground side in Vancouver. Having an apartment to come home to with Kaidan. Actually having time off rather than being in a constant state of 'go' when they were still at war. It's exactly the kind of thing she'd always dreamed of but assumed she'd never get the chance to have. The thought of it put a gentle curve to her lips, feeling lucky to have Kaidan in her life.

"That sounds nice," she said, looking over to him again. "That still doesn't answer why I need to trust you, though."

"Well, let's just say my plan involves a certain level of unquestioning cooperation."

Shepard laughed as she stood up and moved to the closet to pull out some clothes. "Should I be worried?"

"No, definitely not," he said, moving over to the closet with her, making a point to pull out her warm jacket and a toque. "I know you're going to love it… but you're going to need to be blindfolded."

"What? Why?" she asked, as she looked at the clothes he handed her.

"Uh uh, no questions, remember," he said with a cocky grin.

She shook her head in amusement. "Mmm," she hummed in agreement. He had said as much. "All right. I'm all in," she said as she looked over at him, matching his enthusiasm.

"Glad to hear it. It'll be worth it. I promise."

---

"When you said I had to be blindfolded, I wasn't expecting it to be for so long," she said as she fiddled with the hem of the blindfold.

Kaidan looked over at her from the driver's side of the skycar. "Hey, don't take that off! It'll ruin the surprise."

Shepard promptly took her hand away from her face and looked over in his direction, despite not being able to see him.

"I wasn't really going to take it off, you know," she said with a laugh at how seriously he was taking it.

"I couldn't take the chance," he said with his own laugh at the situation. "Don't worry, though, we're almost there. It'll be worth the wait."

"Uh-huh. So, are you going to give me any hints?"

"And ruin the surprise when we're so close?"

Shepard laughed at that. "What if I had a guess already. You didn't exactly leave a lot up to the imagination handing me a warm jacket and hat."

Kaidan huffed out a laugh at that, himself. "I suppose you're not wrong there, but you're about to find out for yourself soon enough. We're already here."

Shepard felt the skycar slow down and land gently. She heard Kaidan turn off the engine.

"I'm going to have to ask one more thing of you first, though."

"Uh oh, what now?" Shepard asked with a smile.

"You need to put on these earmuffs too."

"Seriously?" she said, looking over in his direction again.

"Yes, seriously. Trust me, I have a reason for all this. As soon as we get out, you'll only have to walk a few feet before you can take everything off."

"Everything, you say?" Shepard asked, waggling her covered eyebrows in his general direction.

Kaidan snorted. "You know I'd never oppose that, but I don't think I'd recommend it in this particular scenario. Here," he said as Shepard could hear him leaning over from the rustling of his clothes. "I'm going to put these on you, and then I'll come to help you out of the car."

Shepard felt the earmuffs being placed over her ears. Everything was muffled now, but she heard Kaidan's door open and close behind him before she heard her own door open. She felt for the hand that Kaidan was offering and he helped pull her out of the car. There was an immediate and unmistakable bite of coldness in the air. They only walked a short distance before Kaidan stopped.

"Okay, you can take them off," Kaidan said as he let go of her arm.

She pulled off the earmuffs and her blindfold all at once and readjusted her toque quickly as she was met with a beautiful sight. Large snowflakes were falling all around her, if you could even call them snowflakes anymore. They were so big, they almost looked more like small clumps of snow, yet still entirely light and airy. She was surrounded by forest, freshly blanketed in a soft coat of it. The ground was absolutely covered and reached halfway up her calf. There was a pond in front of her that was steaming from the sharp temperature difference, the snowflakes melting away quickly as they touched the water. The absence of sound was striking, especially since living on starships her whole life and even in the city. She'd become accustomed to a constant source of white noise. But now, there was a serene calmness she'd never experienced before in her life. It was so quiet she could hear the flakes powdering the ground. The only way she could describe it was surreal.

This whole time, she'd been looking out at the scenery, barely even noticing Kaidan beside her. She looked over to him, seeing that this entire time, he'd been looking at her in wonder. He finally looked out at the forest, prompting her to look over it again.

"Do you feel it?" he asked, his voice hushed and gentle. "The peacefulness? The silence?"

"Yeah," she said, matching his gentle tone. "This is beautiful, Kaidan."

He smiled as he looked behind him. "Here, why don't we sit?"

She looked behind them to see a large log cabin with a deck and rustic, wooden patio furniture. He sat down on a bench, prompting her to sit beside him. She hadn't even noticed the two thermoses in his hands before now. He poured out some hot liquid in a cup and handed it to her. She smelled it and savoured the chocolatey aroma and warmth before taking a sip. Kaidan poured his own cup before he started talking.

"I know you've seen snow before. We were on Noveria together, after all, so I knew this wasn't exactly a brand new experience for you. But do you remember what you said when we were in port there, waiting for authorization to get in?"

"You mean before we were attacked?"

"Yeah. You were silent for a moment, looking out past the Normandy. It was the first time you told me about growing up in space. You said you never got the chance to appreciate snow before. The only time you'd ever seen it was ground side in the middle of missions, but you never got to savour it. You always thought it looked pretty from the vids on the extranet."

"Yeah, I remember that," she said with an amused laugh. "I joked about possibly getting some shore leave there if we finished the mission quickly enough."

Kaidan nodded. "Yeah. I remember that too. I think about that a lot, actually. I don't think Noveria's the best place to experience snow, mind you. The constant blizzards, the insanely cold temperatures and all that, but the closer you and I got after that, the more I thought, "I can't wait to take her back home with me." Winters in BC were some of my favourite memories growing up. The snow is special, but there's nothing quite like the first snowfall of the season.  It always feels like it puts the world to a halt the way it insulates against the noise. I've never felt more at peace than I have the first time it snows. Even though you were joking on Noveria, I always sensed a lot of sincerity there too. Ever since you said that, I've imagined a time that I could share this with you. It's not every day you get to witness someone experience that for the first time."

She looked at him genuinely, feeling as though she could cry for how sentimental it was. He was right. She'd always wanted a chance to admire the snow in peace. To feel it in her hands, to catch some on her tongue as it fell from the sky. To not need to be in an environmentally controlled suit to be able to withstand the harsh temperatures. It had always been a dream of hers, but she'd never gotten the chance. It was even more than she ever expected it to be. She laced her fingers in his and looked at him. "It's not every day you find someone thoughtful enough to want to share that with them."

Kaidan unlaced his fingers from hers and wrapped his arm around her. "No, it's really not," he agreed. "Was it worth all the trouble I put you through?"

She smiled at him gently. "That wasn't any trouble, Kaidan, but... it was definitely worth it," she said as she took a sip of her hot chocolate, looking out over the forest and the dense flakes falling. She could imagine them making a tradition out of this. Rushing up to the woods to watch the first snowfall, cuddling under a blanket and sipping hot chocolate. Next year, she'd have to watch Kaidan's face light up as they stepped into the snow, the same way he got to watch her this time. She could imagine his sense of wonder and calmness. "I think this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me."

He held her tighter towards him, and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"We've got some free time coming up over the holidays. What do you say to coming back here?"

"I think I could be convinced," she said as she sat up, flashing him a grin.

He smiled back at her. "Good. Mom reserved this cabin all winter for the family to use. We just have to make sure to ask to use it for a certain time. That pond's going to freeze over soon enough. I figure I can teach you how to ice skate."

Shepard let out a roar of laughter. "Oh, I don't know about that. You've seen me dance. I don't think I could get away with ice skating."

"Hmm, good point," Kaidan said as he took a sip of his hot chocolate. Shepard elbowed him in the side and he almost spat out his drink. "What? You're the one who said it, not me," he said with a laugh.

She rolled her eyes at him playfully. "Listen, I'd say we're about on par with the dancing skills, so you might want to shut it," she said, her smile returning.

"All the more reason we could still give it a shot. I'm not half bad at skating. Maybe you'll be better at it than you think. I won't pressure you, though. Whatever you're up for."

"And what if I fall and hurt my hip or something?"

"Then I'll nurse you back to health in front of the fire," he said, leaning in closer to her and grazing her lips gently in a kiss. "There's plenty of other things we could try. Skiing, sledding, snowball fights, you name it. I honestly don't care what we do, just that we're together."

That was a sentiment she knew well. "In that case, I'm up for anything."

[gallickingun]

gallick’s blog writing rules

Hey guys, gallick here! As I expand my writing parameters, I thought it would be good to make a rules post. I ask that you please read this prior to requesting, because it has my preferences, request status, and content info included. 

Please be aware: I reserve the right to delete any and ALL requests/asks that do not conform to my rules. 

My inbox is always open for thirsting [defined below], questions, conversation, venting, and advice. See the remaining rules below the cut ―

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙   ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙   ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙   ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙      ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙   ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

【CONTENT INDEX】

what is a... ✰ 『thirst』this is usually when you send in your thoughts on a certain character in a certain situation. My responses can be anything from a jumbled up paragraph to a full on thirst drabble (~250-500 words), depending on whether I’m on mobile vs. desktop, as well as if I jive with your thirst. That being said, don’t ever feel ashamed of the thirst that you want to send in! Even if it’s not my thing, as long as it’s not on my no-no list [see below], I’ll at least post it with some sort of response! See examples of thirst «here», «here», «here»,  and «here». Thirst can sometimes turn into full on fics depending on how I feel about it!

✰ 『drabble』this is a “fic” that is generally more in depth than a thirst, but not as plot-driven as a full on one shot or fic. I usually keep drabbles between 500-2,000 words. They are normally given their own post instead of replying to the ask itself, but I will respond to the ask with a link to the drabble once I’ve posted it. 

✰ 『fic』this is usually a one-shot piece, which means it is a stand-alone fanfiction work. These are at least 2,000 words in length, and I do not put a limit on them as I have no self-control and will write huge fics with no regard to my personal sanity. These will always be posted as their own text post, and will more than likely be {sporadically} uploaded to my ao3 account as well. If the fic is inspired by an ask, I will answer the ask with a link to the fic once I’ve posted it.

✰ 『multi-chap fic』this is usually a piece that spans at minimum two parts, connected via the plotline that runs consistently through them both. As of now, I do not have any multi-chapter works, but I do have a couple planned for the future! These will always be posted as their own text post, with links to the prior part as well as the future part, once it has been posted. 

【WRITING RULES】

✰ All characters are aged up to at least 20 years of age no matter whether the situation is sfw or nsfw. The only times I will write “high school” types of works will be in flashbacks, not full length fics. I always try to explicitly state within the work that they are of age - whether that’s referring to them a Pro Heroes (BNHA), Pro Athletes (Haikyuu!!), etc. If I ever discuss “dorms”, I am always talking about college dorms/apartments. 

✰ This is my blog, and therefore I get to choose what I do and do not want to write. I apologize if that means I have glossed over your request, but I cannot force myself into writing something I do not feel like I can do, because then it’s not genuine and even though it gets the content out, it’s not content I’d be proud of. 

✰ I do NOT close my requests. I feel like it’s pointless, given a lot of people don’t pay attention to the open/closed titles anyway. With this being said, I do receive a lot of requests. If you feel that yours has gotten buried, eaten by the tumblr ask monster, or ignored, please feel free to send it in again. Also keep in mind that I might have deleted or ignored your ask in favor of another that sparked more inspiration. That doesn’t mean I won’t come back to yours later. Be patient with me!

✰ Please be kind. I don’t ask that you fawn over me when you send in a request, but be courteous when you send me an ask. If you just send me a blunt ask, I might not understand what you’re really asking for, or what you actually want, which can stunt the creative process and possibly end up with me deleting your ask. I understand that not everyone speaks English well, so I try to be patient with the more forward requests. Just be aware that I am not a writing machine here for your pleasure. This is a hobby, a fun way of escapism for you and me both. The moment it feels like a job, I will stop.

【DO’S AND DON’T’S】

『 My writing is usually male character x female reader, unless specified otherwise. I do accept female character requests, though. As I do try to keep my appearances of reader relatively neutral, I know that is not always the case. I am constantly trying to learn and evolve my writing, but reader content can be difficult to nail down with all the scenarios that I’m writing or requested to write, given that they are very specific in nature. Please be kind and constructive if you choose to criticize, but criticism is always welcome. 』

『 I always put warnings in my tags above the fic post, so please read the warnings prior to diving into a piece. As stated below, sometimes I will use kinks or tropes or categories/genres that make people uncomfortable or triggered, and I want you to keep yourself safe rather than reading my writing just because it’s mine. I use warnings, tags, and a read more on my posts - if you choose to read the post anyway, then that is your own responsibility and I will not respond to any asks shaming me for what I have written, or blaming me for you being triggered. Please let me know if I have not correctly tagged or warned a post and I will make corrections as soon as possible. 』

― The CHARACTERS I prefer, and who will get priority over others are... My Hero Academia ✰ Bakugou Katsuki ✰ Kirishima Eijirou ✰ Tamaki Amajiki ✰ Todoroki Shouto Haikyuu!! ✰ Sugawara Koushi ✰ Bokuto Koutaro ✰ Kuroo Tetsurou ✰ Oikawa Tooru ✰ Sawamura Daichi ✰ Kageyama Tobio Dragon Ball ✰ Vegeta ✰ Piccolo ✰ Gohan ✰ Trunks

― The GENRES I will write... ✰ Angst (mostly happy endings bc I’m a sap) ✰ Fluff ✰ Smut ✰ Alternate Universe  ✰ Hurt/Comfort - this can include things such as anxiety, depression, etc. but will always end with the comfort in mind.  ✰ Alpha, Beta, Omega dynamics (bare with me, I’m learning)

― The CONTENT I will NOT write... ✘ Suicide (reader or character)  ✘ Minor x Adult ✘ Vore, Gore, Intense Violence ✘ Piss or Shit Kinks ✘ Incest, Pseudo Incest, anything relatively familial in nature. ✘ Ass Play (in detail - i.e. pegging, fingering, etc.)  ✘ Cheating ✘ Crack Fics (i.e. overly humorous or satirical content) ✘ Character x Character - this is a loose rule, but currently I don’t have any CxC ships that I am writing for, or feel the need to write for. ✘ Poly relationships - this is another loose rule, but I am not overly well-versed with polyamorous relationships, so they can be difficult for me to nail down. If I feel inspired, or if I open poly requests, I will let you guys know.

【TAGS】

『If there is any type of content you do not want to read, I ask that you please blacklist it. I will do my best to tag all asks/posts accordingly, but I am only human and might miss one here and there. Feel free to send me a quick message letting me know that I have missed something, but please be kind.』

『I believe it is your responsibility to monitor and improve your online experience. If you don’t like Bakugou, please blacklist my Bakugou tag(s). If you are a minor, and do not wish to interact with my nsfw content, please blacklist my smut tag. I will not be tagging things directly as “nsfw”, because this can get you taken out of the tags entirely, and I do also write sfw pieces in addition to my nsfw pieces.』

『I do NOT tag generic posts unless they are triggering. This includes all reblogs - graphics, fics, etc.』

『Here is how to blacklist tags on desktop and mobile.』

『I always use three versions of the “character” tag(s), with their surname only as well as their given name, and then their full name. I.e. bakugou x reader, katsuki x reader, bakugou katsuki x reader.』

― Writing Tags ✰ #character x reader ✰ #character smut ✰ #character thirst ✰ #OC: Belle Marie Sinclair - (Bakugou OC) ✰ #OC: Lilith - (Kirishima OC) ― Trigger Warning Tags ✰ #tw: dubcon ✰ #tw: noncon ✰ #tw: suicide ✰ #tw: self harm ✰ #tw: degredation  ― Personal Tags ✰ #morgan.txt - my original text posts  ✰ #morgan-gets-mail - answered asks ✰ #morgan-has-friends - mutuals interactions ✰ #morgan-does-commissions - commission-related posts ✰ #morgan-has-a-patreon - Patreon-related posts ✰ #morgan-says-read-it - Fic recs ✰ #morgan-says-look-at-it - Art recs ✰ #morgan-says-listen - Audio recs

【FINAL THOUGHTS】

I reserve the right to delete any of the asks sent into my inbox. This includes... ✘ Hateful Asks ✘ Baiting/Leading Asks ✘ URL referencing Asks (i.e. “I heard gallickingun did....”) ✘ Rule Non-Conforming Asks 

【LINKS】

✰ desktop masterlist «here» ✰ mobile masterlist «here» ✰ general writing tag «here» ✰ archiveofourown «here» ✰ wattpad «here» ✰ commissions interest form «here» ✰ ko-fi «here» ✰ patreon (coming soon!) «here» ✰ bnha bookclub (discord server + fic archive) «here»

This is all subject to change, hence the read more.

© all content belongs to gallickingun 2020. do not modify or repost.

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙   ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙   ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙   ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙      ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙   ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙